#sooo cute ill die
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How do I get a bunch of money by doing nothing rn
#im watching a bunch of cute lookbooks om yt and im sooo jealous rn#i need a liz lisa set or ill die
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Hi nat :-]
hello arsene. are you trying to kill me.
#ill have u know i. i saw this way back but i justshdd#THEYYYSYYDYYSYEEYEUE UUUWAAA#OOMFIE WTFF!!!!!!!#STOP STOP THEYRE SOOO CUTE IN YIUR STULE WHAT THE SHIT#IM GONNA EPCLODE#QND DIE#AIEHWIWJDIJD THANK U SO SO BAD STOPPPP#im so glad i was already working on smth for u cause i can get u back#i mean… who said that…#ANYWAY STAWP TYSMMM EMIN.AYLA NATION WE NEVER LOSE#las contestadas#oc f/o: 🐺#las inserts: nayla ⚰️#arsene-fixates
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i love how sharks are older than most other forms of life as we know them now like they have FOUGHT for that spot
#sharks#i love sharks#theyre just so cute#little guys#i dont know many shark names#great white shark#hammerhead#whale shark#sea creatures#sea#ocean#someone let me swim with a shark#now#ill die#i love them sooo much#cant be THAT much if i know like 3#anyway
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i maxxed the tags (what did i expect) but!!
what a soft piece ari 🥺 thank you for sharing this hurt/comfort piece w us!! i think satoru will always be a figure of strength—but i think it’s in part because that’s how he brands himself to be around the people he cares about. he’ll never truly share how he thinks and feels about things, will almost always downplay it really. but he’s always worrying, always aware and cautious, overthinking 🥺 and i felt that loads here!!
there’s a shipwreck stuck between your ribs ; satoru gojo
synopsis; three times satoru sees you cry, and the understanding you gain of each other from it.
word count; 4.6k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, the synopsis speaks for itself i think, copious amounts of hurt/comfort, i just think he’d be so good at comforting u :ccc, also fluff!!, he’s addicted to calling u ”baby,” satoru gojo vs human emotion (he loses)
a/n; pls ignore the fact that 90% of my gojo fics are hurt/comfort ok we dont need to get into that <33 the writing in this one might be a lil rusty but im pretty fond of this gojo :’3
dim lights, buttery popcorn, and boredom.
the senses invading his mind are mellow, coaxing, a little tedious. all he can see are the buzzing lights before him, all he can hear is the insistent chewing of the people around him, and all he can feel is just that:
boredom.
satoru stifles a yawn, resting his cheek on the heel of his palm. he’s trying to pay attention — really, he is. trying to pay attention to the movie he picked out himself, after thoughtful consideration, one he’s been looking forward to watching with you all week. he’s trying his best. but, gosh, it’s just so boring.
or maybe he just doesn’t have it in him today — with all these too-dim lights, too-loud popcorn-chewers, and the too-convoluted plot playing on the big screen in front of him. he has no idea what’s happening, anymore, what scene this is supposed to be. some sob-story? he clocked out a while ago.
so, with nothing better to do — satoru decides to savour another view.
that’s how it always goes. no matter the movie, no matter the snacks, whether you’re watching at home on the couch or a nearby movie theatre — eventually, when his eyelids begin to grow heavy, or when his attention span begins to falter, that blue-soaked gaze of his shifts. a moth to a flame, following his instincts. constantly looking over to see what kind of face you're making.
after all, your reactions are far more entertaining than any movie could ever hope to be. little sighs of exasperation, jolts and shivers down your spine, or a laughter so bubbly he can’t resist leaning in for a kiss or ten — he loves it. adores it. lives and dies by it.
so satoru turns his head, and looks at you, knowing you’ll save him from the boredom clutching at his subconscious.
and something in his chest constricts.
at first, he doesn’t notice it. hungrily lapping over the expanse of your jaw, to your cheekbones, his gaze drinking in everything he can see. scanning your eyes for a hint of emotion; and he finds it. he finds it in something that glimmers in the dim lighting of the theatre, something that has his breath drawing back to the depths of his throat.
tears.
crystalline, dew-drawn, a fresh set of tears clinging to the edge of your lash line. they’ve yet to fall, but satoru sees them — he sees them and he doesn’t know what to do.
tears.
tears?
you’re crying.
in the depths of your glassy eyes, he sees a fractured scene — playing against the scope of your iris, as the movie reflects off your pupils. there’s a turmoil there, a sadness, one that has you covering your mouth with the front of your knuckle. and you’re crying.
satoru wants to tease you. he wants to lean over and purr against the shell of your ear, poke fun at you for being so emotional. such a little baby. what else is he supposed to do?
the tricky part is that he can’t. he can’t move, can’t shape his voice into a purr, can’t even speak. he’s frozen in place like a bug trapped in amber, stuck to his seat, unable to do anything but blink at you in what he thinks might be bewilderment.
his breath hitches — and that’s all.
something about the sight of you makes him falter, makes him stop in his tracks. catches him off guard. he doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t recognize the feeling stirred deep within his chest, something discomforting and foreign. doesn’t understand why his heart feels so itchy, all of a sudden.
then your eyes meet.
and you blink. once, then twice. eyes just a little wide, an embarrassed kind of surprise. he thinks you must be flustered, and he’s proven right when your gaze flees from his.
a mingle of words clog up at the base of his throat. say something, say something, say something. but he doesn’t know what.
he wets his lips, preparing to part them, but before he can get the first syllable out you're leaning in. close. close enough that he feels your breath ghost against the shell of his ear, close enough that his heart starts skipping the way it always does when you press yourself against him like that’s where you belong.
a whisper. it’s small, hushed, a little frail. but there’s something else, too, laced together with the vowels — amusement.
”you didn’t tell me this was a sad movie.”
a pout plays at your lips, as you murmur your grievances. but then there’s that amusement; it’s there when you pull back, in the crinkle of your sparkling eyes, the curve of your smile.
and satoru’s shoulders relax. stiffened bones melting. he exhales a breath he had no idea he was holding, and his heart feels at ease. a grin finds it’s way to his lips, wide, teasing, cheshire and sweet.
he leans a little closer, bumping his head against yours. gently. ”i think you’re just sensitive, baby.”
his teasing is rewarded with a little huff, as your elbow meets his side. soft. everything you do is soft.
”oh, shut up,” you scoff. smiling. he’s so relieved that you’re smiling.
a moth to a flame, following his instincts, satoru brings you closer. an arm around your waist, pulling you into his orbit, until you’re practically sharing seats. searching for your hand — and he finds it, intertwining his long fingers with yours, just to give it a little squeeze.
(for some reason, he feels more protective than usual.)
he feels your gaze. questioning, maybe. but you melt into him quickly, with your head slumped against his shoulder, and his heart settles back into a sleepy rhythm. just watching the movie pass you by.
the dim lighting of the theatre casts a hazy shadow over your face, a tender desaturation, and his eyes stay glued to it when you aren’t looking. the smell of popcorn hangs heavy in the air, salty and buttery, warm and sweet, and he’s almost grateful to feel that familiar boredom tug at his veins.
anything is fine. anything is better than that discomfort, that irritating itch.
satoru watches the movie flicker by, scene by scene, whispering commentary into your ear and stealing your popcorn with a satisfied hum. chuckling when you whisper-shout at him to cut it out!
he tries not to think of the glittering tears at your lash line, and almost succeeds.
rain clouds, cups of chamomile, and frustration.
it seeps out into the open air, engulfing your living room in a feverish haze. thick and suffocating; the scent of heavy rain, lukewarm tea, and that ugly, ugly feeling underneath his skin.
it pulses. it itches. and oh, how it aches.
satoru hates it. he hates feeling angry, feeling upset — hates when either of those emotions are in connection to you. hates it, hates it, hates it more than anything.
he does everything he possibly can to avoid it; his eyes are keen, always have been, and he can see when that thin line he shouldn’t cross crawls a little too close for comfort. when the rubber band of your patience just snaps. he sees all your buttons, knows which ones not to push. he knows you.
and, more importantly, more than anything — nothing you do could ever make him angry at you.
(well, at least that’s what he thought.)
satoru’s anger is a fickle thing, controlled, kept under wraps. it’s a slow process; it simmers, boils, a cup of chamomile brewed too long. and then it all but invades his senses. it never gets the best of him, never, but right now he can feel it — little pinpricks against his skin, a frustration that stirs his guts and has his eyes going cold.
satoru towers over you, like this. full height on display. not slouching or draping himself over furniture, but standing tall, and proud, and menacing. he isn’t smiling, and that’s all you need to know that he’s upset with you. his eyes are layered over with discontentment.
a sigh spills from his lips, a little gruff, unmistakably annoyed. it slices the silence of the room in half, and a shiver travels down your spine. he doesn’t notice it. his voice has a rough edge to it, something firm. something that doesn’t sound like it could come out of his mouth at all.
”don’t act like such a child.”
a flinch. or maybe more like a jolt; this time, he notices, but it’s too late. he’s in too deep, boiled water licking at his ankles, pulling him down. frustration nips at his skin, and he can’t quite seem to push it away.
and you’re just so, so unaccustomed to it. unaccustomed to seeing him wear anything but a smile, unaccustomed to that cold gaze, usually nothing but warm and fond when it meets your own. this isn’t like him.
it’s not like him at all.
swallowing thickly, you do your best to calm down. but before you can make any attempt to contain it, wetness begins to gather in the corners of your eyes. pooling, little droplets yearning to fall.
satoru notices them instantly. he sees that sad glimmer, framed by the murky darkness seeping in from beyond the curtains, accompanied by the symphony of pitter patter against the windowpane. tears, much like the rain beating down outside.
and his chest goes cold.
a tiny sniffle pushes past your lips, and the dam inside you begins to break — tears tripping over your lash line, rolling down your cheeks. cascading across your pretty face. the air fills with a sense of dread, and both of you seem to be thinking the exact same thing.
(oh, fuck.)
satoru notices, belatedly, that his throat has gone dry. that his heart feels itchy, again. it itches and itches but he can’t do anything to soothe it, and your tears continue to fall.
his heart begins to crack. right down the middle, like a gash in the reflection of a puddle, right across his chest. it hurts.
an inhale, then an exhale. you’re still trying to keep it all together, grasping for control over your emotions, but it’s not going too well. the little breaths that escape your throat are shaky at best, hands trembling as you wipe the tears away with the front of your wrists. and your voice sounds a little like it’s about to crumble away.
”sorry,” you squeak, taking a step back. there’s a silent panic in the gesture, one that makes satoru want to get down on his knees. ”i’ll just — i’ll leave —”
he wants to stop you. he needs to stop you. but he does nothing, nothing at all, even as you stumble out. leaving the haunting echo of tiny sniffles and tear-stained cheeks behind you.
satoru just stands there. once again, the sight of your tears seems to render him completely helpless. useless.
and he's frustrated, honestly. frustrated by the argument, by your tears, by his own guilt. he’s so frustrated he wants to claw his eyes out. he scratches at his forearm, but it does no good. all he can think of is your frightened little expression.
(he scared you.)
satoru slumps down on the couch, head in his hands, running rough fingers through his soft hair. it’s unruly by the time he’s done, and his bottom lip is bruised with teeth marks, and everything in the world feels so meaningless. so out of tune.
(he made you cry.)
a sigh. drawn out, tinged with exhaustion, bitter and battered like the swing of a baseball bat. he feels a little like he could throw up. it’s foreign, this emotion, suffocating. how long has it been since he genuinely felt this kind of shame?
the crack in his heart grows deeper, while you’re gone. more severe. every moment you spend outside of his vision makes him falter more and more, makes his desperation grow. desperate to plead for your forgiveness, to convince you not to leave. to wipe the tears away from your cheeks, delicately, the way you deserve. but he can do nothing but sit there, useless, repeating the same old phrase inside his mind.
he’ll make it up to you.
and when you finally come back, having calmed down a bit, he does just that. you’re embarrassed, he can tell, a little meek. it makes him feel that discomforting emotion, again, that ache. the crack that only ever seems to deepen.
but he covers it all up with a smile. a little sheepish, more than a little forced, but he hopes you understand. hopes you can see his remorse, see a man who loves you, because he does.
so satoru takes you into his arms, softly, hands finding the small of your back. delicate, protective. a little whisper spilling from his lips.
”’m sorry, baby. i didn’t mean it.”
and it’s not enough. he knows it isn’t. but he does what he can — even when it just ends up clumsy, teasing, bordering on something that most would interpret as insincere. all he can do is coddle you. shower you in hugs and kisses, gifts and praises. he hands it out like candy, eager hands finding yours, everything spilling out of his chest all at once.
there’s a desperation to it that isn’t lost on you.
but it works. he’ll make it up to you; he swears. and he dotes on you until you’re too embarrassed to be sad anymore, apologizes until his throat runs dry. until he’s sure you believe him.
he brews you another cup of chamomile, stirred to perfection, warm enough to make up for the shiver he sent down your spine. the rain beating down on your windows serves as a constant reminder of his failure, and satoru does his best to ignore it. swallowing what’s left of his frustration, focusing on you.
anything to see you smile again. anything to wash away the red tint to your eyes, the puffy skin beneath them. anything to hear you laugh, to get you to feel safe around him again.
(anything to make him forget the sight of those tears rolling down your cheeks.)
panic, panic, panic.
it’s all he can feel, all he can think, the only emotion his muddled mind can cling to. he’s in pure, sincere, genuine panic, and you aren’t saying a thing. can’t bring yourself to.
arms wrapped around his waist, tightly, you hide away in the crook of his neck. clutching the fabric of his shirt, burrowing your face deeper into his warmth — and you’re not just crying.
you’re downright sobbing.
satoru knew something was off the moment you fell into his embrace, suddenly, tackling him into a hug so desperate it left him reeling. a kind of desperation he isn’t used to, from you.
he knew something was wrong.
he knew even before he heard it; your choking sobs, those shaky, heaving breaths. muffled into the cotton of his shirt, his uncertain arms around you.
they break his heart.
”hey, hey…” there’s a soothing lilt to his voice, awfully delicate. sweet like molten honey, almost enough to hide the panic. ”what’s wrong?”
satoru holds you to his chest, safe and secure, cradling you protectively. as if shielding you from the world — from whatever or whoever got you like this. as if you’d crumble into dust, otherwise.
he tries to calm down, but his mind is spinning like a broken clock, and your silence doesn’t help. you’re trying to respond; he knows you are, but you just can’t get the words out. any attempts only make you cry harder.
a shake of your head is all he gets — and it’s not much, but satoru’s learned to make a lot out of a little.
so he continues to hold you, hiding his worry, tucking his anxiety away somewhere you won’t be able to see. he curses, inwardly, grasping blindly for conclusions — for some divine guidance. how is he supposed to deal with this?
(how long has it been since he felt so very useless?)
gentle. that’s the approach he takes, finally, hiding his nervosity. he rocks you back and forth, just a little, like he’s lulling you to sleep; his warm hands finding the small of your back, the back of your head. cradling you so close you hear his rapid heartbeat by your ear.
soothing whispers. murmured into your hair, so soft they seem to melt once they slip from his tongue, all honey and devotion. affection so palpable you taste it in the air, from the breaths he exhales.
”it’s fine. i’m here, i’m here… i’ve got you.”
he doesn’t know what he’s doing, not really, but it seems to work. because you calm down, after a while, just sniffling into his neck and letting him soothe you. sobs and unstable heaves, turning into whimpers and shaky breaths. clinging to him all the while; so desperate for comfort, for him.
it makes him feel so, so desperate to protect you, to wash every single one of your worries away.
it’s unbearable, this aching desire. like a great, insatiable, unnamed something deep within the caverns of his chest, clawing at his ribcage, snarling and hissing, itching to break out so it can open its maw and devour you both.
(it’s ugly. it’s grotesque. it wants to keep you safe so badly it might kill him for it.)
a coo. sad, dripping with care, a comforting tone that he hopes you’ll find soothing. he smooths his palm down the back of your head, heavy, doting. it hurts so much to see you hurt.
”my baby….” satoru exhales, a little shaky. but he smiles, and he hopes you can hear it, hopes it’ll help mend the pain in your chest. ”what’s got you this upset, hm? you're worrying me, here…”
a broken sniffle. the guilt eats at you, gnaws at your bones, and all you can do is hide away in the crook of his neck. apologizing, your voice no more than a tremor of a breath.
”’m sorry…”
and satoru thinks his heart shatters. he can practically hear the crash, feel the broken, useless little pieces dig into his skin.
his arms travel down to your hips, steady, and he lifts you up. just for a second, just so he can plop down on the floor with you in tow — keeping you snuggled into his neck. seated on his lap with your legs around his waist, like you’re his baby koala.
”shh, it's okay,” he soothes, a grounding rumble of his chest right by your ear. he’s got you enveloped, wrapped up in his buzzing warmth, and all you can feel is him. ”you’re okay. no matter what it is, i'll take care of it, alright? you can rely on me.”
a moment passes.
satoru clears his throat. nervous, suddenly. ”you know that, right?”
all you can give him is a shaky nod, but it’s enough. he sighs, in palpable relief, still rubbing circles into your back. ”okay,” he sneaks a hand underneath your shirt, tracing little shapes into your bare skin. ”good.”
he isn’t sure how long you spend there, on the floor, entirely focused on comforting you. washing away all your sadness, with every gentle caress, every soothing murmur of there, there… every little stutter of his heartbeat next to yours.
and when you’ve finally calmed down, melting under his touch and into his skin, arms going lax around his neck — satoru takes a breath. collecting himself, so you don’t have to. acting like his heart isn’t still a mess of crushed glass.
”you okay now?” he coos, drawing absentminded hearts into the skin of your back. his voice is teasing, but warm, spilling from his tongue and into your ear. deep and smooth. ”almost gave me a heart attack, baby.”
he feels the way your grip around him tightens, just a smidge, and he hears the weak little breath you draw in. your voice is still shaky, and it makes him want to rearrange the world, stitch those broken vowels back together.
(he doesn’t like how irrational it is, this insatiable something. how it makes him want to bend the rules of the universe, just to see you smile. a dangerous temptation.)
”i’m sorry,” you croak, clinging to him like a shipwreck to a shore. ”it’s not — not a big deal, ’m just…”
satoru pulls back. just a little bit, making sure your arms and legs stay in their rightful place, curled around his neck and waist. making sure the two of you stay connected.
then he pinches your cheek.
”don’t apologize,” he quips, a playful frown on his face. soft, a vague furrow of his brows. like he’s scolding you.
it makes you wince, your eyes downcast. you look so meek. a little like a kicked puppy, glassy eyes glancing up at him in search of comfort.
satoru clicks his tongue. ”and don’t look at me like that, either.”
he boops your nose, playful, doting, and you exhale weakly. it’s small, more breath than a real laugh, but you’re almost smiling, and —
it’s a start. it’s something.
satoru coos, voice dripping with warmth, sickeningly sweet. it seeps from his fingertips when he cradles your cheek in his palm, rubbing circles into the puffy skin beneath your eyes. there’s a mirth in his own, crinkled at the edges, tucked into that blue shade, something glazed over with pure adoration.
”there’s that smile.”
he leans forward, closer, to press a kiss against the bridge of your nose, eyelashes fluttering. tickling your skin. you fall further into his embrace and he makes no move to resist, wouldn’t do it even if he physically could. even if he had the strength to let you go.
then he broaches the subject. hesitant. tactful, careful, delicate — he tries to remember how it works. how to handle something fragile. he thinks of those boxes you carried last week, little porcelain cups. heavy in his arms. he thinks of the way you jab his side with your elbow; gentle, always gentle, even though there’s never any need.
he thinks of you, and it all comes easy. that’s how it always goes.
”wanna talk about it?” he asks, softly. fingers treading through your hair, scratching softly at your scalp. it makes you melt, a little. clearing your throat.
”it’s nothing, really,” you mumble, tiny, seeking respite in the warmth that seeps from his body. speaking with a raspy voice, a hoarse throat, all tired out after crying. ”nothing big, anyway…”
a moment passes, before you continue. ”i guess it's just been a rough week,” you admit, a sigh slipping from your lips, tinged with pure exhaustion. ”just little things piling up. ’m okay now.”
a hum. satoru clears his throat.
”anything i can do?”
(please let me help.)
but you only shake your head. ”you’ve already done enough,” you assure him, leaning into his touch. ”think i just needed to get it all out, y’know?”
a beat. an itch. satoru holds you tight, a little tighter than he should. gentle, he reminds himself. but he needs you close enough to feel the flutter of your heartbeat, close enough to delude himself that you’ve merged together. closer isn’t close enough.
he gnaws at his bottom lip, teeth sinking into the flesh. pulling words out from the back of his throat, uncertain. ”i’m always here,” he settles on. ”if there’s anything you need, come straight to me. okay?”
a frown plays at your lips. you’re silent, for a while, until he hears you mumble beneath your breath.
”i don’t want to bother you so much, though…”
”— it’s not a bother.”
the words spill into the air, a little more firm than he meant to sound. but he means them.
”i’m serious. if you ever need help, with anything, come find me. i’m yours,” satoru inhales, deep, his chest moving in tune with the breath. you’re carried along with it, as if being lulled to sleep, following the steady pattern of his lungs.
then he exhales. in, and out, and with it comes a promise. ”if anyone makes you cry, i’ll get rid of them.”
he says it casually, so casually that you assume it’s a joke, a bout of breathless giggles pushing past your lips. the sound has his own curling up, and he doesn’t have the heart to correct you. has enough tact to know that this might not be the best moment to let you know that he’s honestly a little terrified of how far he’d be willing to go to keep you safe and happy.
but you’re smiling, finally, laughing. and that matters more than anything. when he closes his eyes, he thinks he can even feel the telltale signs that his heart is picking itself back up, gluing jagged shards into a shape that resembles you.
"that's scary!” you gasp, amusement bubbling up inside your throat. ”you’d go to jail for me?”
satoru huffs. ”bold of you to assume i’d get caught,” he tuts, a smug smile on his face. it makes you giggle, again, and he feels like a god.
”okay, okay,” you nose at his neck, breathing him in, strawberry lotion and laundry detergent filling your senses. ”please don’t kill anyone on my behalf, though.”
”no promises.”
”satoru…”
slowly, steadily, his heart begins to stitch itself together. it helps that you’re there, he thinks. helps that you’re pressed up against him, that you’re holding him, like he’s the safest thing in the world. like you trust him.
(the word tastes like molten honey and luscious berries, sickly-sweet on his tongue. he gulps it down hungrily.)
it’s healing. the weight of your arms around him, the breaths that brush against his neck. he holds you to keep you together, intact, to keep himself together. a shipwreck and a shore — he just isn’t sure which one of you is which. but your jagged edges fit just right with his own.
”i don’t like seeing you cry.”
you blink. gazing up at him, with a contemplative look in your eyes. it melts into something a little too close to guilt for his liking. shame.
”— but i still want you to let me see you like that.” satoru smiles, with a tilt of his head. snowy tufts of hair falling across his face. ”is that weird?”
a moment passes. then you hum.
”no,” you exhale, a little breathless. smiling, somewhat weak, but still enough to have his heart skipping a beat. ”i love that about you, satoru.”
”huh?” he gapes at you — blinking dumbly. ”love what? that i want to see you sob into my chest?”
”that you try,” you stifle a yawn, sleepily nuzzling into him, all tuckered out from crying. ”even when it makes you a little uncomfortable.”
satoru stills.
silence fills the space between you. there’s nothing more to say. his tongue isn’t really cooperating with him, anyhow — all tied up. so he leaves a kiss on the top of your head, and doesn’t say a word about the tremor running through his chest.
he hates seeing you cry. hates how powerless it makes him feel, how useless. hates the fact that he can’t always protect you from the world, from himself.
but you let him see you like that.
he thinks of your tears, crystalline and glassy, like translucent marbles on a summer shore — and sees the trust instead of the sorrow. he thinks of your tearstained face, meek and feeble, and knows it’ll always be enough to break his heart to pieces.
he thinks of you, and tells himself that it’s worth it; just as long as he gets to bring that pretty little smile back to life.
#jjk#satoru#omg i am so excited i finally got to this ari 🥹🥹 and an x times kind of fic too oh my heart!!!!!!#oh he’s soooo into you 🥺 how his gaze always gravitates towards you i am sOOO my heart is SOOO#‘lives and die by it’ PLSSS reading this is like reading it thru rose tinted glasses!!! his rose tinted glasses!! like a movie in a haze 🥹#your writing is always so incredibly descriptive ari and i love love love that because it paints the scene so so well!!#it describes his emotions so well too — the part on him watching your tears is so pretty ‘crystalline & dew-drawn’ HOW PRETTY#the way the movie reflects on your irises — i love that image so much!!!! its such a vivid picture#satoru not knowing what to do when youre near; his emotions going haywire UUUGH forever a fave concept#and WHEN HE SPEAKS WKNDJEJD I THINK URE JUST SENSITIVE BABY HELLLLLOOOOOSUSJDJISJSJS#‘everything you do is soft’ MY GOSH that’s SO CUTE#anything is better than that irritating itch :((((((( GAWSH i love him#i LOOOOOVE the little descriptors at the start and how they set the mood for the scene omg love love loce#comparing his anger to a cup of chamomile??? oh my god i LOVE that how it simmers and boils omfg ari ur mind#and an angry satoru? oh my god take me tf out LOL IDK iF I CAN TAKE THAT LMAO#slicing the silence in the room into half is an AMAZING description ari omfg#‘dont act like such a child’ MY jaw DROPPED oh my god ari if he ever said that to me id actually cry#that oh fuck is so so loud and i love love love how you described that scene ari omg its so vivid and i could feel his and the readers#emotions thru it !!! i wish i could copy paste it properly but im rdg from my phone rn so 🥲#the idea that he hurts when you hurt is sooo oh my god im such a sucker for that and i think its so true!!#because as much as youre unaccustomed to him acting this way; he’s just as unaccustomed to treating you like this too :((((#oh my god him biting his lips to death :(( everything is meaningless . out of tune :(#see a man who loves you because he does :((( WAAAAH ILL SAWB RN#:(((( it makes him want to rearrange the the world & stitch those broken vowels back together HOW PRETTY#the sheer panic he feels at you sobbing bc he just doesnt know what to do#oh god :(( he thinks of you when he wants to handle you gently :(( bc thats all u rlly are :(( gentle :((#and its insane omg how kinda crazed u can feel he is abt u too. how uve managed to write in the extent of what he’d do just for y#i love the lil banter after 🥺 how he tries to keep things lighthearted still bc thats him!! thats satoru!!!#that dialogue is so tender ‘i dont like seeing u cry but i still want you to let me see u like that’ UGH i love that#:((((( and its that act of. he doesnt like it but he’ll brave it for u!! i love that line of him knowing that itll break his heart
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Can't teach an old dog new tricks. Odele in particular is quite stuck in his ways, but at least he still manages to keep it somewhat unique each time.
#'ill kill you -> ill kill myself' pipeline real as ever#odele yet again proves to not be bluffing!#dw about the wonky anatomy w/ that hand. its finneeeeee#took me agessss to figure out how to shade this lol#odele oc#i think thats his tag? idk i never remember#tryin to move towards making him look more like a fox... be it one with a rlly weird pelt pattern#love this guy sooo much you dont even knowww....#got back home from a long ass rp sesh today and right away sat down to draw this scene#nooo odele dont kill your self you are so sexy ahahah-#(i dont want him to die but uhhhh i have to play my character. and odele does not believe in bluffing)#also he got a new outfit! how cute! (he killed a man for that hat)#alto art#ask to tag#blood#suicide#implied suicide#(god i hope he doesnt actually die i love him too much-)#(and i have so many plans! but! he is! uncooperative even to me! his player!)#firealpaca#oh wow this got way too long lmao okay im going now goodbye-#(ps you might see a queeshmael funnee from me later. if i get the courage to post it-)
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ICU
SUMMARY: ellies lost her keys…again… luckily dina’s pretty friend has an empty bed
PAIRING: ellie williams x reader
WARNINGS: none?
A/N: i missed these and yall!! not fully back but i miss writing also if u see stranger things content don’t be alarmed! still v much in love with ellie and abs
‘ I FEEL SOMETHING WHEN I SEE YOU NOW ‘
elliewilliams
elliewilliams LET ME INNNNNNNN. JOEL PLEASE LET ME INNNNNNNN
tagged: joelmmm
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dina_nolastname BAAHHAHA IMAGIWN
elliewilliams i HATE you CRY URSELF TO SLEEP
joelmmm 💤💤💤
elliewilliams JOEL PLEASE UTS COLD
elliewilliams IM TIRED AND IM VERY SORRY
elliewilliams JOELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
jessesucks go to tommy and marias stupid
elliewilliams why didnt i think of that? oh wait I DID ITS 2 AM AND THEY HAVE A BABY STUPJD HOW DID YOU EVEN GRADUATE??!!?!?!
yourusername did u lose ur key again
elliewilliams …no… also HOW DO U KNOW AB THAT?!?!
yourusername dina talks a LOT when shes drunk
angel: ellie come to mine
ellie: huh?
a: ur locked out, im not, my beds made, urs probably isnt, come over.
e: u barely know me?!?!?
a: dina trusts u idc, come over rn or ill pick u up.
e: send me ur address.
“this was really nice of you.” ellies voice breaks the silence as make room for her beside you. you wave your hand, no worries, but she insists. “no seriously, you could’ve let me die. freeze. starve even.”
when you laugh she doesn’t think she’s ever heard a better sound. “ellie i don’t think any of those things would’ve happened.” you smile and lean on an elbow to look at her. “and i really don’t mind, gets lonely anyways. need a loser dork to fill the silence.” you tease.
she gasps in faux hurt, tracing an imaginary tear down her face.
elliewilliams
elliewilliams an ANGEL yall. $10,000,000 for her and her only.
tagged: yourinstagram
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yourusername bye i let you stay over a night 😭 i didnt cure cancer
elliewilliams ur right. $100,000,000 mb
dina_nolastname *sighs*
elliewilliams i hate you.
joelmmm yourusername I am so sorry Ellie intruded, I’ll pay you for your time and kindness.
yourusername 😭😭 damn
elliewilliams ignore him, he drinks
yourusername its 8 am.
jessesucks oh you will NEVER live this down.
elliewilliams blocked.
a_anderson you are an embarrassment to society!
elliewilliams i hate all of u.
e: hey!
a: real chipper today huh
e: didn’t lose my key all week so yes very
e: i have a question tho
a: lmao im gonna steal ur key from u, whats up?
e: do u wanna go to a concert this weekend??
e: i bought the tickets for dina and i but she cancelled last minute and jesse cant go
e: its like 2 hours away on saturday
e: also do NOT touch my key please i m begging
a: yea actually id love too :)
a: text me the details
e: great
e: okay yea ofc
elliewilliams
elliewilliams so…
tagged: yourusername
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dina_nolastname MRS STEAL UR GIRL
elliewilliams SHE WAS NEVER URS!!!
jessesucks GASPING when did this development occur.
elliewilliams 🤓☝️
jessesucks BREAK UP
yourusername girl on the left is sooo fine
elliewilliams crazy, im more into the one on the right
dina_nolastname yall r EMBARRASSING
joelmmm yourinstagram Come for dinner tomorrow! Would love to meet Ellie’s pick of the month. 🩷
yourinstagram GOODBYEEE
elliewilliams JOEL?!?!??!!!??!
yourusername
yourusername in an interesting turn of events…
tagged: elliewilliams
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jessesucks GAG
yourusername this is why dina dumped you! 💋
dina_nolastname BYEEE true tho
elliewilliams bruh we are so cute
yourusername okay “bruh”
elliewilliams WIAT OM SORRY
dina_nolastname mrs. stolen girl 💔💔
yourusername im always urs bae
a_anderson wheres MY cute gf damn.
yourusername I KNOW SOMEONE WHOO LIIIIIIKES YOU!!
a_anderson SPILL.
elliewilliams go away! 💋
a: hey
e: hi
a: come over?
a: please?
e: are you okay??
a: just please come over.
e: im omw right now
e: be there in 10
e: unlock the front door
a knock on your door wakes you from the light sleep you’d been in. a small ‘come in’ has ellie gently opening the door and walking softly towards your bed. her hands brush hair from your face, a kind smile on her face. something you can’t pinpoint in her eyes.
“you doing okay babe?” her voice is just above a whisper, though no one else would be home to hear it otherwise. “tired?”
you hum an answer out and reach for one of her hands, fiddling with her rings and avoiding her eyes. “can you turn off the light and sit with me?” she smiles and nods, savoring one more second before standing and taking off her jacket while walking to the switch.
its still light out, the evening sun beginning to set but still lighting up enough of your room. as she’s getting in beside you, she notices what you’re wearing. “nice shirt,” ellie says with a snort.
its one of hers, you stole it a few weeks ago with no intention of giving it back. her heart grows as a small smile graces your features. “there she is.” you flush and turn away. she coos teasingly while getting comfortable behind you.
when you do turn, shes the perfect pillow. her fingers trace your features as your eyes shutter closed.
e: hi love, you wanna do something today?
a: you have something in mind?
e: thought we could go bowling
e: that new bowling place just opened downtown, looks cute
a: kinda tired. do something at home?
e: alreadyomw with snacks for u
a: youre the best.
a: i miss you.
e: i miss you too. you doing okay?
a: are you at work
a: im tired
e: i get off in 30
e: come over to mine, joel will let you in
a: okay
elliewilliams
elliewilliams bbg needs a NAP theyre grouchy
tagged: yourusername
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yourusername i know where you live.
elliewilliams LOVE YA!
joelmmm Photo creds.
elliewilliams sighs.
dina_nolastname angel ALWAYS needs nap bro gets really grumpy
yourusername I ALSO KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE
dina_nolastname see? grumpy.
jessesucks we’ve all seen the pictures she looks absolutely BEAUTIFUL, uhm… and he’s there… (ellie is he)
dina_nolastname (ellie is he) BYE
yourusername HEY JESSIE WOAHHH FEELS LIKE A PARTY EVERYDAY
elliewilliams remember when dina dumped u?
a: can we go to the aquarium
e: you feel up to it?
a: no obviously i asked because i don’t
e: OKAY SORRY DAMN
e: god just being a supportive girlfriend and this is what i get.
a: GOODBYE I DONT WANNA GO ANYMORE
e: no im sorry im sorry im sorry i wanna go
a: YAY
a: pick me up in 30 pls
e: of course love
e: im glad you’re feeling better
e: very excited rn
yourusername
yourusername finally left the house after 72628748829 years
tagged: elliewilliams
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elliewilliams @ the guy who took this for us ur so real
yourusername YEA!!!!!!
dina_nolastname yall r so cute CRY
yourusername u want me fr
jessesucks ICK
dina_nolastname this is why i dumped u
elliewilliams
elliewilliams a moment for the gf!
tagged: yourusername
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yourusername OF ALL THE THINGS YOU POST THIS?!?!? THIS?!!!!!!!?
elliewilliams but u look so pretty
yourusername CHOKE ily
elliewilliams I love YOU
dina_nolastname my wife is so gorg
elliewilliams back off?
yourusername LADIES LADIES theres enough of me to go around
jessesucks cute ig
joelmmm You found a good one babygirl!
elliewilliams DAMN RIGHT I DID
e: hey i love you
a: i love you too
a: u lose ur key again?
e: …
a: ffs come over good god
e: already here!
a: R U IN MY KITCHEN??!
e: ur mom says hi
e: be up in a sec!! snacks!
#! kates babes !#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams fluff#ellie x reader#🎵 smau 🎵
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Valentines day w Enha Hyungs🫶
summary: what u and ur man do on ur first valentines day tgt<3
a/n: and fuck everyone who got a valentine. let me be a hater but i also had to pump this one out before the day ends for me
Heeseung
Oh hee, my sweet hee
HE WENT ALL OUT
Ofc he did its ur first valentines with each other as a couple
You guys used to do valentines as friends
Both single and lonely
But since he finally had the balls to ask u out you can now spend it in a relationship!
He actually got u a reservation to ur fav restaurant months in advance
Bc bro knew that the place does not PLAY w reservations
Its always so busy
So the fact that he did this in advance makes ur heart swell
You bought him his first bouquet of flowers
He sobbed.
Boys deserve their flowers too!
He cherishes the flowers and when they die
He does that thing where he presses dead flowers and shit
Then puts them in a frame above his bed
He got you flowers too with a teddy thats huge as fuck
You end the night with a celebratory minecraft session <3
Jay
Such a romantic ill cry
You were never much of a valentines day celebrator
You thought it was stupid (me too bff)
That was until you finally had ur person to do it with
Im a sucker for jay playing guitar so obviously
This man learns ur top 3 songs on guitar and plays it for you
You got him a bunch of custom guitar pics and those r all he uses btw
He gets u this big ass bouquet that came with a crown n shit
“Had to go all out for my princess”
SHUT UP
We know hes an excellent cook
So of course he cooked a 5 star home cooked meal for the both of you
W niki as ur server
He was promised robux if he did that btw
You got him tickets to see his fav band thats coming to town in a few days
He blew up
Sooo thankful for you
And to think this is only ur first valentines day?
Baby it only goes up from here!!
Jake
Our jakey poo
Hes the best at this shit lemme tell you
You woke up to home cooked breakfast in bed
So sweet of him awww
Hes had this day planned for a while
He saved up so that you can have a shopping spree
Ur literally in shock bc jake??? You did not have to do all that
A nice set of flowers and movie day in would settle
But not to him nuh uh
Dont worry you made sure you got ur gift in as well
You even got something for layla!!
When you mentioned that u got layla a gift too he almost got down on one knee i swear to god
After ur little spree you guys went out to eat for dinner
You begged him to let u pay
He alr spent so much today that you were gonna be upset if he didnt let you pay for this one thing
He reluctantly let u pay the bill
But he HAD to be the tipper
The day couldn't have gone any better
ALSOOOO
Posts u to “Valentine” by laufey
Sunghoon
Sunghoon is so cutie
He knew you were coming over soon so he set up his room with all of ur favorite things
Like ur fav drinks in the shape of a heart on his bead
Giant teddy bear sitting in the corner
Rose petals and even balloons everywhere
Do u guys know the tik tok audio
“Victor u actually did this” LMFAOOOOO
You'd recreate that video with him
“Baby are u srs”
“Hoon pls we’d go viral”
And u did btw
You guys would have a cute comfy day in
He'd rather save all the big gestures for ur birthday!
You two are a really lowk couple
He posted u for v day and people slide up like
“Wtf since when did u bag a hottie”
“YOURE DATING Y/N”
And he shows them to u giggling cus like
Hes the one who gets to show u off and be with you forever
#enhypen#enha#enha x reader#enhypen imagines#enha imagines#heeseung#jay park#park jongseong#jake sim#sim jaeyun#park sunghoon#heeseung x reader#jay park x reader#jake sim x reader#sunghoon x reader#enhypen reactions#enhypen x reader
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tw for extreme noncon, implied murder (not of the narrator) , sex slavery, kidnapping serial killer erotica
you went into the woods feeling prepared. you had a gun on you. people kept disappearing in the woods and youre sooo brave.
the dead bodies freaked you out. you decided to leave, but there she was. taller than you, with long hair and a knife. you reached for your gun as she strided towards you, you could see her clearly in the moonlight. there was blood all over her. her face, her clothes, everywhere.
you pulled the trigger. click click click. you had forgotten bullets. but she giggled, grabbing your face.
"oh, you're so cute to be out here looking for trouble, are you trans, too?" of course she had clocked you. before you could say anything, you were pushed down on your knees. you wanted to move, to scream, but you felt frozen in place. she fished her cock out from her jeans, rubbing it on your face. "be a good boy for me and take care of this, wont you?"
she talked so sweetly for a murderer. your heart was pounding out of your chest. you stared at her with a stupefied expression.
"aw, come on, sweetie, you dont want me to use this on you, do you?" she pressed the flat of the bloody blade against your face. you were shaking. everything in you told you to run, to fight back, but you took her cock into your mouth anyway, hoping that she'd let you go after.
you bobbed up and down, the woods silent besides her hums and your slurping. you looked up at her with tears in your eyes, wondering how you had gotten into this mess. but you knew, it was all your fault. you could die out here. you slowed down, lost in heart-chilling terror, but you couldnt deny the heat in your core.
"need help?" she grabbed the back of your head with one hand and shoved you down on her girlcock, fucking your face. you sputtered and choked around it, crying even more now, feeling helpless as she violated you. if only you hadnt come. if only you hadnt come. it was different when you were the one controlling the pace. she went hard and fast, you didnt even know if she cared if you could breathe. she might choke you on her dick until you drown in your own saliva, you could barely think as she used your mouth like a pussy. was this the first time she had had sex in a while? and it had to be you?
she pulled out of your mouth, leaving you gasping and panting, and threw you down onto your hands and knees. you tried to crawl away, but she dragged you back by your ankles, and flipped you over.
"you dont want me to get mean, do you?" she growled, staring you in the eyes. you avoided her gaze, shaking your head, but she grabbed your jaw and forced you to look at her.
"n-no ma'am....." you whispered defeatedly.
she didnt bother taking off your shirt, instead cutting it up and off you. she traced your scars, seemingly interested in them. "ill have to cut you up a little..... you make such pretty scars... ill need a fresh knife." she whispered morbidly. you could only choke out a sob as she unbuttoned your jeans, yanking them down and off.
"look at that pretty little cunt...." she dipped her fingers in, and you cringed at how wet you were. "youre so wet.... you must be loving the attention, dont you? youll love being my little boytoy, wont you?" you didnt answer. you were paralyzed with fear, tears streaming down your cheeks. but she touched you well, and you were moaning aloud at her expert playing of your pussy and tdick, thrusting your hips into her hands. the fear and her touching you were rocking your senses, you were terrified but you wanted more, but you didnt want more at the same time.
until she stopped, spreading your legs across her clothed thighs, brushing her girldick along the edge of your hole. you gave a couple of half hearted wriggles to get away, but you knew you were powerless. she held the knife against your throat then.
"you cut that out, slut, i know you want this. listen to your fucking moans." she rubbed her cock against your tdick. and you involuntarily moaned, thrusting your hips and proving her point. "yeah, i fucking thought so. now. take. it." she thrusted into you, drawing out a gasp, then all the way, pounding into you. she gave you no time to acclimate, raping your pussy as hard and fast as she could. you cried and screamed but kept still as she violated you, the knife scaring you into compliance.
but even still, your pussy made embarrassingly wet sounds around her thrusting, and you were moaning and whining. you felt your orgasm fast approaching, and tried to will it away. you cant cum from this. you CANT cum from this! shes KILLED people! but you let out a defeated wail as you clenched down around her thrusting cock, cumming on her despite your useless internal struggle.
"yeaaah, good fucking slut." she slapped your ass with the hand she was using to hold your hip, but she didnt stop. she didnt give you any time to breathe, or come down from your powerful orgasm, she continued to take you until you were cumming again.
"fuck- please!- uhhm- no more!" you cried out, but she either didnt hear you or didnt care. she bent down, bending your legs behind your head, and kissed you hard. she tasted like blood. she smelled like blood. all you could think about was how good it felt and how you probably shouldve been dead by now, and how you dont know if this is better.
"im gonna cum in you, you better be ready." she hissed against your mouth, bitng down on your lower lip hard. she fucked you hard and deep, making you sob despite your moans and guilty pleasures. you didnt have a uterus, but you didnt want her to cum in you. the first time was supposed to be special! but she made you cum one more time with her, spilling into you as you wailed. it felt so good.
"fuck..... good fucktoy." she sighed, twitching inside you as she dumped her load inside your aching pussy. "can you still get pregnant?" she asked, zipping up her jeans.
you didnt say anything for a second too long, she slapped you in the face. "n-no ma'am...." you whispered, holding your arms across your chest.
"so i can keep you? great."
"fuck- no- please let me go!" you cried, but she picked you up anyway, throwing you over her shoulder and carrying you deeper into the woods. you beat against her back weakly, but she didnt seem to notice. you screamed until you couldnt scream anymore, but at some point on her walk back to her isolated cabin in the woods, you quietly accepted your fate as a serial killers sex slave.
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comic!jason todd x m!indie rock singer/guitarist reader
cold weather - glass beach
1:08 ──⚬──── 2:18
⇆ ◃◃ ıı ▹▹ ↻
🪐☆゚.*・。゚ warnings ; sfw (none)
…
🪐☆゚.*・。゚ contents ; hc’s totally not based off glass beach lyrics haha thats so cheesy whaat lololo…
I love the way you make me feel when I’m staring at my screen.
At 4AM, trying not to fall asleep
And you hit me up just to see if I’m OK
JASON TODD CODED SOOO BAAADD
literally how the crushes form for both sides
jason has like an inner psyche where he just fuckin knows when youre awake
if you ask him he’ll probably say something stupid like ‘i can hear your (guitar)/(voice)’ and he’s nowhere around you
and his heart throbs whenever you two stay texting for waayy tooooo loonggg, starts cheesing and shit
NEERRRDD
average jason todd text
When I keep you up sending Mamegoma Lines
You know it's shit like that that makes me wanna be alive
JASON TODD CODED LINE. CANON CANON.
he responds through his helmet while he’s kicking ass
it gets so common to a point where he ends up having a full blown convo w/ you using those stupid fuckin stickers
bug him late at night !!
he’ll tell you to gts but he’d be lying if he says it doesn’t make his heart melt when u send him these little fucks.
So I'll call in sick again just to spend the day with you
100% he’ll call a day off to hang with you
whether its showing up to your show then hitting a bar, 100%,
i need jason todd in a relationship where he just drops everything for his s/o,
fuck the mission!! he wants to listen to those fucking vocals for an hour or you shredding ur guitar!!
he’s fucking around in an arcade with you till 11pm
hes a little ass at mario kart, better with motorcycle games,
BRING HIM TO ANY SHOOTER ONES WHERE U HOLD THE GUN AND UR GETTING WAAAASHHHEDD.
he has the most fun with the halo ones or the walking dead ones
weirdly good at the multiplayer pacman games
AMAZING AT GALAXIA ILL DIE ON THIS HILLL
Wanna say I think it's so gay that we really both feel the same way
That I feel like we're more than just friends
It took too long to realize
I didn't miss the cold weather, I just missed you
Jason was never homophobic and or totally against the idea of him being gay
i dont think he was ever in a gay relationship b4 you two
bc most of the vigilante guys he met were trying to fight him or absolute dick heads,
n’ most of the male figures in his life weren’t the absolute best.
so there wasn’t tooo much room for crushing on a guy too easily
if you’d ask him abt his sexuality its smthn like ‘i think im straight but i dunno what if im not.’
heres how i think it starts ;)
you’re preforming at a bar, n’ ofc jason todd can admit when a guys cute/attractive, any guy could do that
and maybe its ur guitar or your vocals but he cant stop watching (he convinces himself its your talent which is reasonably not gay)
maybe one coincidence leads to another and you two chat and go out at times, he pulls up to your shows more.
and the whole time he thinks he’s just acknowledging that your a very attractive person,
notthin crazy to admit ya homie has mad kisssble lips after starin at them for a sec too long. lol. haha. hm.
and i think the thought really hits him when he’s out of gotham for a mission. and he’s craving your presence
he texts you but you dont respond, fuck right you have a show and the timezone difference—
n he gets fuckin, ANTSY and SAD.
he tries to smoke a cig to fuck off
but he cant stop thinking about that one night where he brings you to his favorite rooftop view of the city,
how those sly stupid jokes slip from your mouth like honey,
the way you glance at him and the moonlight on your skin
how he got that random need to just lean into your lips
and— (GAY REALIZATION PANICC) <- link
'Cause I don't need the cold weather like I need you
And I don't need the sweater weather I just need you
Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na
Fuck! Hahahaha
hes unlabeled your honor.
#im not gay you are!#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#jason todd x you#red hood x you#jason todd x m!reader#red hood x m!reader#jason todd x male reader#red hood x male reader#jason todd headcanons#red hood headcanons#krashoutluv
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ive been turning these 2 around in my mind so so much lately... id like to share why i like them, so ill do so under cut :)
what draws them together? both of their traumas are part of them. neither of them are going to 'get better' in the expected way. they can learn to cope with their struggles, possibly get medications to help with that, but that's it. theyre similar in many things ('their trauma isnt leaving', both are suicidal "feeling suicidal/i wish i wasnt alive" "i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL"), neither like who they are as people "all the pretty girls make me not wanna be me" "do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know?") and both of their songs are about their relationships with other people, even if its not the main theme
weevildoing said this about disposable girl. with chemical girl, its more obvious
this gives them both a deeper understanding of each other !! even though their traumas are still different, theyve got this similarity. they could talk about that, relate to each other, etc...
another thing that draws them together: their interests, id say! she was a skater girl she was a fitness girl, can i make it any more obvious... most of their hobbies arent the exact same, but they are at least in a similar vein id say - anime and gundam, skating and fitness, rap and megan thee stallion. they could easily enjoy each other's interest, i think!:)
what stands in the way? misunderstanding and miscommunication. i think that (when theyre first getting to know each other, at least) disposable wouldnt stand up for herself/tell chemical when shes uncomfortable/when chemical says something that upsets her ("being mistreated would at least mean im real" "that at least means youre someone that they wanna be around"). she'd feel like voicing these things would cost her her and chemical's relationship. i also feel like she wouldnt see this as something worth communicating, possibly
thatd be a problem in all relationships ofc, but itd upset chemical girl especially. she has a hard time forming relationships ("i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know?"). she pushes others away so that she cant hurt them ("theres no point in getting close, leave me alone"). i think that if she and disposable got close, and she found out that it isnt communicating its feelings, shed be upset !! yknow ?? thinking that youve finally found a friend that likes you as you are, when in reality ur just hurting them with everything that you say... getting close to someone for the first time in forever, opening up, just to find that out would probs frustrate her
have an example of smth that i think that would happen when theyre first getting to know each other
i think they'd communicate this eventually tho:) yay yippee! im communication and im understanding🏳️🌈the girlfriends
what are their good traits? they want to be there for each other, to help each other grow, to understand one another!! like in "what draws them together?", they understand each other more than the average person. they could help each other accept this - like, its easier to accept people for things that you beat yourself up about, yknow? were more strict with ourselves than other people, its easier to deem someone else as deserving of love than yourself, etc etc... since theyre similar in many things, they could learn to love themselves while they start to love each other !! i hope that makes sense..
them sharing hobbies would be SOOO so cute!!! chemical teaching disposable fitness so that she has an outlet for her frustration, disposable teaching chemical how to skate... chemical showing it gundam, her figurine collection, disposable showing her anime, them listening to rap together.... it would be so cute !!!!! i think disposable would enjoy fitness, but would be embarassed by being bad at it/being slow/sweating a lot/etc. chemical would be cheering her on, proud of her for the smallest improvements... likewise, i think chemical would suck at skating. steps on the skateboard and it explodes. u know how it is
what makes them hopeless at romance? ARGHHH "what to do, when everybody that ive loved has only up and left me?" "im alwasy left out of everything" "nobody fuckinf wants me" vs "theres no point in getting close, leave me alone" "i dont think you should come by my place tonight" "nobody can keep up with me"... need i say more...
i think they should latch onto each other like leeches and never let go
thank you if youve read this far:) theyre so everything to me !!!! theyre sooo... god... shaking them!!!! arghrrrr!!! chemwaste!!! save me chemwaste!!!
(both of these poses are from mellon_soup)
#mystuff#tptm#the post traumatic manifesto#disposable girl#chemical girl#shipping#tptm chemwaste#💣chemical girl💣#🗑disposable girl🗑#myart#fanart
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Ramble below
Guys whatever whatever hwyaver it’s so hard to draw supernatural Nd not make it sisterism like okkk whateverr I draw sam and Dean and occasionally Castiel cause he’s a pain in the ass to draw for me (guilty)(guilty) lowk all my Supernatural opinions specially cater to me so km like okkkkk whayeverrre have 10k word ramble about them (ooc that fits my own little world) and go whateverrrrrrr I project onto sam insalelyyy is this real? Maybe thats why I make him lowk obnoxious (me)(me)(me) while I view Dean as a cute girl lolllll like a cute anime girl. Moe? Flicks me on the forehead and k stare at her like a crazy guy should I kill her….. I imagine her laughing at me and my arm starts shaking like god she’s cute but I need her to die. Kill her kill her now. Brotherism and Sisterism is good I like drawing siblings. I just run out of ideas and daydream more like a bum. I ramble and think yeah thats enough effort for today. Am I real? They’re funny to me I want to stomp on them like bugs. Castiel is cute though, I have no aggression towards him because he’s so cool my cute Castiel.. he deserves to be happy. Unlike Dean and Sam they deserve to be ill.. whatever whatever whatever
Castiel is like perfect guy in my head I need him to be happy. Meanwhile I like seeing sam get bullied (bully him more) and Dean being harassed lololololllll but Dean can be occasionally be happy. I just like my loser Sam brain, he’s not EXACTLY a loser but to me he’s like total loser (he has game but idgafffff) he’s not even that much of a loser but his behavior is sooo ughhhhhh and he used to be into that magic shit like god can they kill him. He’s so awkward at times too he’s so gawky he’s so wonderful my wonderful loser son… while Dean is my bitch daughter and Castiel is my nonbinary nephew or something who gaf
#supernatural#spn dean winchester#dean winchester#spn sam winchester#sam winchester#supernatural fanart#I love sisterism#fem! Dean#genderbent supernatural#how dafaq do I tag it properly#ramble#well at the end
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you had me at "skz" and "vampires" (sorry its kinda a mess of thoughts hehe)
so, thoughts on vampire prince/king skz (i immediately thought of hyunjin, jeongin, or lix but who ever else comes to mind for you :3) who has a new human staff member that is supposed to be by his side and be his personal maid but she's also supposed to get used as his guard's blood bag so they never have to leave his side. buuut he gets super attached to her within the first week and keeps her all to himself 😼
idk what you would want to write about this but ill add on sappy/cute thoughts as well as some raunchy shit. also the red is toxic stuff
so on the lover agenda some of my thoughts are:
definitely courts her with little trinkets or gifts that he googles researches that humans historically have liked. usually any particularly shiny jewelry he can get his hands on
definitely has his right-hand-man order the highest quality ingredients and has a very talented chef cook normal (high end) food for your meals. (i also thought if he was being a tsundere about it he would sooo tell them to make the food look bad while still keeping its flavor 😭)
when you both get closer he is definitely a spoiled brat about it and will absolutely hate being told "no" by you for any reason, but you also know all too well that he won't do anything about it because he's really bad at hiding his feelings so you know he likes you
when you guys start dating he'll do everything in his power to get you to agree to be converted into a vampire, cause he'll be damned if you're gonna die while he loves you but he feels a slight sense of morals when it comes to you, so he would rather not force it (but will if theres a life or death situation)
lowkey toxic thought but uses "vampire powers" on you, but will wipe the memory from your head depending on what it was for *cough* straight up mind controlling you to win an argument *cough* hypnotizing you to stop talking if he's angry *cough*
and on the horny agenda:
fucks you literally everywhere and anywhere he wants. hes royalty so hes spoiled rotten and always gets what he wants. plus, who will have the balls to tell the prince/king that he can't have sex in the middle of the dining room? not you and sure as hell not the poor kitchen staff when they're trying to set the table around you both
i can see them preferring to make love to you most nights, but wont hesitate to fuck your brains out if he's particularly horny or angry/jealous
def uses those "vampire powers" in bed too. hypnotizes you to obey him (may or may not be with your immediate consent dont @ me) or uses his inhumane strength to force you into a position and uses it to hold you up as he fucks you (literally no matter how much you weigh because he can and he will)
also the speed power most likely means he can fuck you insanely fast and/or finger you just as fast if not even faster (& basically vibrates if he rubs your clit fast enough lmfao)
yeah.. anyways i love vampires and i love skz so u might have just awoken something in me
THIS IS FUCKING INSANE
#this ask kept me up at night#now i want to write vampire skz… omg…#my brain exploded into a million little pieces#[ 💌 ] — loveletters#[ 💌 ] — anon! ♥️#skz x reader#stray kids x reader
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more than just a dream - the walker, 003
pairing: college!ellie x reader
synopsis: you transfer to a new school where you only know one person; your childhood best friend. he invited you to a beginning of the year party to meet some new people, but one person, in particular, catches your eye... his other best friend.
a/n: READ THIS ITS IMPORTANT hihihi im backkk i found a format i rlly like!! if u didn't see my other post, im changing formats because its taking way too long for me to make the other one and its very discouraging. creds to @starphires for making the format 💗 hope u enjoy
genre: social media au, fluff
series masterlist -- previous chapter -- next chapter
ellie
OMH IM SORRY IM HERE I FELL ASLEEO
dina 💋 👎 a message
dina 💋
ethan died
ellie
?? how did the main protagonist die what
dina 💋
i lied idk why i said that i didnt even watch the movie
what were yall doing for TWELVE HOURS??
ellie
why r u surprised hanging out for the technically first time for 12 hours is the average lesbian experience
dina 💋
ur like clinically insane
ellie
we were just watching our show
OUR SHOW wyd if i jump off a bridge RN 🧚
dina 💋 ? a message
dina
???
ellie
hold on ill tell the gc everything
ellie
ellie x y/n lore update
jesse 👽
there is no way u just said that.....
ellie
so basically
we got blankets and got comfy cozy and made popcorn and we were having sm fun like talking a bit and saying stuff ab it bc we've both rewatched it sooo many time like its our comfort show
and GET THISSSS
SHE LAUGHED AT MY JOKE
YUPPP I KNOW MHMM
AND POPCORN FLEW OUT OF HER MOUTH'//?! LMFAO
she was rlly embarrassed but it was so funny and cute and i started laughing too and i CHOKED
actual tears in my eyes and she was just sitting there laughing at me
dina 💋 ❤️ a message
jesse 👽
oh so ur deep in the trenches
ellie 👎 a message
dina 💋
thats so romantic
ellie
i almost died???
dina 💋
awww
ellie
she def wants me
jesse 👽
JUST REPORTING LIVE NEWS WE HAVE A DEVASTATING MAGNITUDE 9.9 DELUSIONQUAKE OVER HERE
ellie 👎 a message
dina 💋
DELUSIONQUAKE IS CRAZY OMFG NOOO
ellie
YOU MAKE ME PHYSICALLY ILL PLASE STOP
I AM NOT DELUSIONAL
jesse 👽
ok 🤗
ellie
NOOOASDHFKDFJSFD
but actually tho.. like shes so amazing and pretty and smart
like i dont wanna just hu w her or snything else.. it is a secret third thing
dina 💋
??????? thats called liking her
ellie
oooh maybe...
dina 💋
😭😭😭
jesse 👽
hey im sure this is all rlyl important but ELLIE? ARE YOU STIL LI MY DORM?? DID YOU SLEEP EHREA
ellie
UMM????
jesse 👽
I HEARD YOU AUDIBLY GIGGLE A FEW MINUTES AGO AND I THOUGHTIT WAS Y/N BUT SHES STIL LASLEEP..
ellie
NAHH GET HIM BACK ON HIS MEDS HES HALLUCINATING!!!
NURSE HES OUT!
jesse 👽
FUCK TYOU I AM NOT CRAZY I EHAR UR PHONE BUZZING WITH MY TEXTS RIG TNOW
ellie
😜
dina 💋 ❤️ a message
jesse 👽 👎 a message
jesse 👽
PUT THAT AWAY???
ellie
im sorry
ill go buy u breakfast what do u want
jesse 👽
ellie stew
ellie
um idk i could get u a sandwich ig..
dina 💋
u should get me food too bc u dipped on me last night im On my way! 🙋♀️
ellie
a/n: typa shit i been on recently..... 😓 . i hope u all liked thisss! this format is sm fun and way easier for me i hope u enjoy reading it! tell me if the length of this chapter was good or if i should make them longer/shorter,, i appreciate all feedback 💋💋
taglist: @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @elliesinterlude @fireflyelllie @trulygnomed @deluluwh-0-re @toesorhoes @elliewilliamsmissingfingerss @emluvselandabs @ariianelle @jokerpokimoon @lonelyfooryouonly @lil-elliesgf @yuaaa05 @ourautumn86
#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#tlou game#the last of us#tlou 2#ellie williams fluff#jesse tlou#dina woodward#wlw#tlou part ii#tlou smau#the last of us fanfiction#lesbian
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Digimon Data Squad (Savers) - Episode 35
This episode just pissed me off. Why are they acting like Yoshi and Rosemon don't exist? Why couldn't she contribute to the fight with Tohma or at least help out with Ikuto?? Another female Digimon character relegated to second tier 😒Sometimes it's like they forgot to write her into the episode.
The show also continues to ruin Tohma/Gaomon's characters with Tohma now smiling about Kurata's evil plans? I'm holding out hope that this is some grand scheme, but if that was the case Tohma wouldn't have attempted to kill Ikuto/Falcomon. -sigh- this is just so stupid...
AND ANOTHER THING (lol). I think Masaru kinda turned on Tohma too fast too. He barely stopped to question if Tohma was brainwashed or under some spell or something before he was like "Die!!" You'd think with a former friend you'd want to at least capture and question them, but I guess Masaru's just rage boy now.
Notes:
Kurata wants to "be the king of both worlds" 😒 sooo original. And Tohma is happy about this because...? I don't see how getting your sister healed is worth living in Kurata's world.
Gaomon is almost worse than Tohma because this plot line has just revealed him to have zero personality. He's just a drone who will follow any orders? At least Wormmon showed regret about Ken's actions!
They never gave the new ShineGreymon a name so I assume it's "ShineGreymon Burst Mode?" Kinda disappointing that the design is basically a recolor, they could have done something more creative than that. That being said, the fight scene was pretty well animated.
Super unnecessary flashback to the Tohma vs. Masaru fight two seconds after it happened (2000s cringe lol)
I really want Masaru's dad to end up being a digimon somehow lol. I'm surprised they're taking so long to have him show up. Perhaps in the finale?
Speaking of Masaru's dad it's really annoying how whenever anyone mentions him Masaru has the same "...my...DAD!?" response like it's the first time he's heard someone bring him up. Get over it dude lol.
Why is everyone roasting the hell out of Masaru all of the sudden? First Tohma sours on him and now BanchouLeomon is like "you suck and you'll never be your father." I don't think he's earned it really.
Obviously we've seen digimon reduced to digieggs before, but never the main character's! That's an interesting twist. I hope we get to see Masaru and Koromon interact!
Seeing Ikuto attack Kurata directly and Kurata screaming for his life was very satisfying. More of that please!
Belphemon!? Seven demon digimon!?!? Oh, I'm SO on board for this. (I love demon characters lol). It was a bit of a shock that they made him so cute, but that's a nice change of pace.
That ending. I wonder if the former DATS folks are going to try and cure Tohma's sister? IDK why they'd be able to do that, but it felt like that's what they were implying. Either that or they're going to kidnap her for leverage against Tohma, but that sounds a little sus for good guys haha. Come to think of it, what even is Relena's illness? Generic frail girl disease?
#digimon savers#digimon data squad#digimon#anime#I'm probably making a fool of myself with my speculations#don't mind me
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Reminiscing on the Hard Road (A Gruvia Fic)
Rating: M
Summary: While on his way to a mission, Gray reflects on the hardships, tears, battles, and triumphs which led to him and Juvia finding their happiness together. (Or: the story of how they finally, officially got together told through memories).
AO3 Link ; FFNet Link
Words: ~8,000
Warnings: Please read with caution as this contains adult themes & situations (though nothing explicit). Also swearing and allusions to mental illness, dissociation and depression symptoms especially. Man this feels like the end of a drug commercial. Enjoy!
AN: I realized how long it'd been since I updated Chasing Tails and was feeling really bad about it. I'm so sorry, guys! I've just been really busy! I don't have time to get Chapter 5 up tonight, but I do have the time to share this Gruvia piece I wrote a while ago as a karmic sort of apology.
With that in mind, this is a bit of a rough, long one-shot. It comes from a chapter in a larger, mostly Nalu-focused fic which I may or may not ever actually finish writing. Sooo it's not even really a one-shot so much as it's, like, a segment of a chapter from one. I also barely had time to clean it up ever so slightly.
However, I thought Gruvia fans would appreciate anyway. Maybe one day, I'll write the whole thing because I honestly think it could be a story, or maybe a series of drabbles? This is all you kids get for now, though, lol. no fucks given (just kidding this will keep me up nights.)
o(O)o
Ignoring Natsu's whining about still being motion sick from beside him, Gray buried his hands in his pockets and let his eyes engage in their favorite past-time: roaming the curves of the blue-haired woman walking in front of him.
Him and Juvia had officially been together for over half a year, but his eyes still snagged on the same places they always had. The sway of her blue hair, now long enough to partly obscure the pinch of her waist and flare of her hips with each swish. The pretty, cute flush that lived on her cheeks as she listened attentively to Erza, who was chattering about a famous desert shop in the area. The way shadow and light shifted over the curve of her rear. And—forever his most favorite—the exposed skin of her legs. Long, toned, moon white...and fucking perfect.
Gray felt his cheeks heat, but couldn't find it in himself to drag his eyes away. The solidness and length of their relationship did absolutely nothing to diminish the novelty of her beauty, like he might once have feared it would. Instead, it hypnotized him more surely than ever. Noticing all the men drooling over her figure as they walked past, Gray was aware of the sting of possessiveness and annoyance which rose in his chest, but was also easily able to ignore it.
He was as comfortable as any guy with a stunning girlfriend could be in his own jealousy, these days. More shockingly, so was Juvia, a fact that was plain from the way she shot only perfunctory glares at the women eyeing him and whispering to each other as they passed.
As he stared at her back, his lips quirked ever so slightly. It had taken time, tears, and work—more work than he could ever have anticipated—to get to this point in their relationship. But work had never been more worth it.
His mind wandered to reminiscence. To where it had all started, when they had started, after the 100-Year Quest had ended and he'd finally—with Lucy, Levy, and Erza's help—managed to ask Juvia to be his girlfriend.
"Not just 'yours'," Levy had insisted, explaining that phrasing would confuse her. "Your girlfriend."
He'd actually fought them on it. Not really because he had a problem with commitment anymore (okay, it was a little embarrassing, but not too much) but because the words "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" felt ridiculous, considering everything they'd been through. How deeply he cared about her. For crying out loud, they'd tried to kill themselves for each other. He'd kill for her, die for her, and—most importantly—he would live for her. Beyond making his ears feel like they were going to melt off, the word "girlfriend" felt trite.
But when Lucy and Levy demanded to know if that meant he was going to propose, he'd balked. Actually, having the m-word shoved right up against his nose kind of made his soul flee his body. As ready as he was for a romantic relationship, he wanted to go through the actual experience of having one. Like, with all the steps involved. In order. He was at the point in his life that he wanted it more than anything.
More importantly, he wanted to give Juvia that experience. He was determined to do right by her.
With the girls' reality check, and the point they'd made that ambiguity might make Juvia jump to the wrong conclusion or even hurt her, they'd convinced him. He'd been committed to making his long-awaited confession as special for Juvia as possible, complete with saying any embarrassing words she wanted to hear.
Gray still hadn't felt worthy of the love she gave him. He still struggled to believe he was a man who could protect her. But after everything he'd been through during the 100-Year-Quest, seeing how much she'd missed him the whole time, and his talk with Juvina-sama, he'd understood it was completely unfair to ask Juvia to wait for him to decide he was worthy enough to love her openly. He also wasn't above admitting that Juvina-sama's suggestion that she wouldn't wait forever had disquieted some irrational part of him enough to make him antsy, impatient to make absolutely sure they were exclusive.
He'd been completely flustered throughout his confession, but known it had gone as right as it could. Lucy, Levy, and Erza—who thought they'd been slick, hiding in a nearby bush to watch him confess—had agreed. (Lucy had annoyed him to no end by teasing him over how "adorable" he'd been.)
And yet...Juvia's response hadn't been quite what Gray hoped. Lucy hadn't noticed it, but he had. He didn't know exactly when it had happened, but at some point, he'd learned to read the Water Mage like an open book. For how sincere a person she was—a trait he was all too familiar with—Juvia could also be surprising, even mysterious. As transient as water, with hidden depths you'd never know a thing about unless you were willing to dive beneath the surface.
When Gray confessed, he'd braced himself for joyous screaming. He'd planned to freeze a literal flood of tears before it could wash them both away. He'd been prepared to get a concussion from how hard she'd glomp him in the street. But while she had said yes, demurely accepted the roses, and hugged him plenty tight...her response had been subdued. In hindsight, he could see the pattern her reaction fit: the way her gaze had dropped to the street despite her happy flush, the hesitant, nervous gleam in her eyes, the limited verbal response.
The only times she'd ever acted that way had been when he actually reciprocated some of her affection. When he'd promised to give her a straight answer, after he defeated END. When he'd given her a one-armed hug and said he was glad her "body" was safe, after he'd saved her from that wood bastard.
Something had been wrong. But when the girls who'd spied on him only gushed afterwards, not seeming to have noticed anything off, he'd shrugged off his concerns, assuming it was his own lack of romantic literacy. He'd been nervous, but also really excited to learn.
But as their relationship officially began...it quickly became obvious that there was a problem, and that a one-sided approach to fixing it just wasn't going to cut it.
Juvia had always been prone to mood swings severe enough to make Gray's head spin, but as soon as they started dating, her mood seemed to sink. He'd try to ask her about it only for her to put on an obviously fake, cheery front and insist she was fine.
At first, he was sure it must be his fault. He'd had no idea what he was doing wrong. At that point, the guilt he felt for not taking Juvia's feelings seriously for so long, for abandoning her in Amefurashi Village, and for nearly letting her die in an attempt to save him had been taking a serious toll on him. The guilt had sometimes left him ragged. Every time she seemed down, he beat himself up and tried to do better. Talking, dates, spending time together (even when it meant ditching missions he really wanted to go on with the team), accepting her gifts and acting happy about them (no matter how much they creeped him out).
But the more he'd tried to make up for everything, the worse it seemed to get. He watched her frustration rise as he tried to be more openly affectionate, her denials that she was frustrated getting louder. More and more, she gave, but when he gave back, she'd look ready to explode or burst into tears.
What had made everything come to a head was the sex. A surprise in itself. For all the ways their relationship had suffered, sex had never been one of them. It'd started back in the cabin they shared in Amefurashi Village. From the first night they'd moved in together, Juvia had not-so-surprisingly tried to edge her way into Gray's bed constantly. She'd use excuses of cold weather, make puppy eyes, and sew nauseatingly pink coupley bed sheets to try to lure him (when, he still had no idea).
Meanwhile, he struggled more and more to pretend he didn't find (most of) her antics adorable. Not to mention incredibly tempting. Things escalated to where he'd feel his excitement rising towards the end of their daily training sessions, to the point his body became conditioned to react when he saw the damn sun set.
He also felt increasing dread at the notion of having to turn Juvia down—and for having to sneak out in the middle of every night to "take care" of the problem she always left him with (cold showers didn't exactly work for an Ice Wizard).
Finally, one night, she'd pouted and whined that she was sore from training and begged for a massage. Gray didn't know if it was the fact she was asking him for something instead of offering; the unbelievably cute, sparkly-eyed, hopeful glances she kept sneaking at him; or the fact he could tell she actually was sore from the way her face would pinch as she attempted to stretch provocatively in front of him, but his resolve had shattered.
Before he could think and without a word, he'd lifted his covers and held her gaze, not bothering to hide the dark promise in his eyes.
Her reaction had been priceless. He'd never forget it.
His acceptance seemed to knock the breath straight out of her. Her eyes had gone round as saucers, staring into his eyes like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her cheeks had darkened. She'd stood stunned for so long that he'd started to get nervous, wondering if she'd only been being playful all this time, not really meaning to come on to him or maybe not expecting him to ever accept. But just as he'd been trying to field the disappointment sinking his heart and trying to think of how to promise he wouldn't do anything she didn't want, she'd hesitantly approached the bed, trembling.
After giving her the massage she'd asked for, he'd rewarded her bravery three times over.
After that, for the very first time, the dynamic of their relationship shifted in one, important way—the one which would force him to finally confront his own heart:
In terms of their physical relationship, he became the more dominant one. In this one aspect of their shared life, he chased. Gray flustered Juvia. He hadn't been able to get enough. What had once been a relentless, one-sided pursuit (one where she had, admittedly, been gaining on him without his notice) became a dance which had addicted him before he knew it.
The notion of reciprocating her feelings had once had him running for the hills. So it had been a huge shock to learn just how much he liked it.
She was so obviously happy and disbelieving that first time he slipped her clothes off in the moonlit dark, cursing over her beauty. Utterly awestruck when he'd seen to her pleasure (twice, he still liked to remember proudly) before even considering his own. Sex was the first time he heard her speak in the first-person, the first time she said his name without adding "-sama" (since that battle in the rain, anyway.)
It was when he lost himself in her soft skin, her passion, and her pleasure that some part of him was able to accept the truth she'd had the grace to surrender to from the very beginning.
The shift in their sex life was also when he'd started to twig something wasn't right between them. After Alvarez was when he'd started it back up. His plan had been to wait until he was able to reciprocate her feelings verbally, like he'd promised, but almost losing her had broken him in a way some part of him would never truly recover from. Between that and his final, full acceptance of his own feelings, there'd been no restraining himself. He'd come onto her with all the subtlety of a freight train the second they were alone.
Even then, something hadn't been quite right. She hadn't been herself, quiet enough that—even as...compromised as his critical thinking skills had been, at the time, and even in his heightened emotional state—he'd noticed. He'd pulled back and asked if she was okay, but when her response had simply been to drag him back in for a kiss that made his knees weak, he'd taken it as a yes and matched her passion enthusiastically.
She kept staying quiet in bed. It bothered the hell out of him, and he badgered her about it more than once, but would ultimately let it go when she insisted she was fine. In his defense, there had been a lot of reasons she could've become subdued. They had just fought a war. They were all exhausted from fixing the town and working to build peace in Fiore.
But after the 100-Year Quest and after his confession, she got even weirder. He noticed it all the time, in every aspect of their relationship, but it was especially noticeable in bed, when they were so close to each other, both completely vulnerable.
When they'd cohabitated, he'd almost always been the one to start something. He'd enjoyed that. He'd even (hell, especially) enjoyed the way she'd flirt, pretend to be oblivious to his advances, pout and blush and make him impress her, coax him to the brink of losing his mind before finally caving to both of their desires. Those times where he went from prey to predator had balanced their entire relationship, satisfying both of them.
Gray wasn't some slimeball who needed sex, but he did need some balance in their dynamic. The private, physical side of their relationship was just where it'd happened to play out. It could've played out anywhere in their relationship, if they were off sex for a while for whatever reason.
But as soon as they became official, it became clear she'd fight tooth and nail to make sure that never happened.
She came onto him. Every. Single. Time. He'd been a little surprised, but happy enough. At first. But as he pushed her to talk to him harder and she denied louder, he'd started to guess that something was genuinely, really wrong.
She didn't speak in the first-person when they were intimate, any more. She didn't drop the "-sama." Even worse, he started to suspect she was seducing him even when she wasn't really in the mood. Almost like she felt like she had to.
It had been one such time when he finally flipped his shit. Even now, walking behind her and appreciating her curves, the memory made his mood falter a little.
He regretted how he'd handled things. It shamed him to remember how he'd all but shoved her off him and refused to do anything else with her until she was ready to tell him whatever the hell was going on inside that crazy, watery head of hers. It was an ultimatum. A cruelly-put one, at that. He hadn't realized just how hurt and angry he was until the words flew out of his mouth.
Juvia had opened up, alright.
In fact, she'd exploded.
They'd screamed at each other, horrible things Gray could hardly stand to repeat even in his own head. She'd demanded that he quit wasting both their time and leave her again, like they both knew he would. He'd asked how stupid she could be to think he'd do that, when he was obviously dedicated enough to put up with her psycho stalker gifts. She'd retorted that her "psycho stalker gifts" didn't seem to have any affect on his libido. He'd yelled that she was the one jumping his bones, ever since he'd asked her out. She'd said that was because she actually cared about his happiness, implying that was something he'd never understand.
She'd ended the black, ugly fight with four hoarse words that ripped his heart out of his chest: "This is over, Gray-sama!"
His apartment door had slammed behind her.
He'd been too shocked and devastated to do anything but watch her go, not even managing to stagger to the door and chase after her until she was long-gone. Black curse power had swirled across his skin as he pelted to the guild, growling in frustration when he didn't find her there. Then he'd run all the way to the female dorms at Fairy Hills only to be deterred by Erza, who met him at the gate. She hadn't known anything about his and Juvia's fight, but she'd been drawn by his yelling.
His older sister figure had knocked him out "for his own good."
The next afternoon, Gray had woken up in his own bed. Not bothering to see if he was dressed (it would turn out he wasn't) he'd booked straight to the guild only to be devastated by the news that Juvia had taken a long-term S-class quest just that morning, news which was delivered by a sympathetic Mira.
Sure that it was over, that he'd ruined everything, he'd drunk himself sick—then kept drinking, swinging fists at anyone and everyone who tried to console him until, finally, in the wee hours of the next morning, Gajeel managed to knock him out of it.
The hostility, Gray had expected. Gajeel was Juvia's best friend; of course he was angry to learn that Gray had done something to upset her so much, she'd left for a Quest that could take months or even years to finish without so much as a word to Gajeel or any of their other comrades.
What did surprise Gray was the understanding Gajeel eventually showed.
Gray got his ass knocked flat by the Iron Dragon Slayer. From his back on the ground, he started to spit out what happened. With each word, the larger man had visibly calmed. After enough had come out, he'd awkwardly helped Gray to his feet (his own, gruff brand of apology.) He'd helped Gray sober up, then he'd given him a pep talk.
He'd refused to explain his own guesses as to what was going on with Juvia, insisting "who knows what goes on in that water witch's head." But he'd also insisted that whatever was going on, it for damn sure wasn't what Gray thought, which was that he'd hurt her too badly for her to love him anymore.
"She's obsessed with you," the man had said, scowling in disgust. "She's always been obsessed with you. She's way too stubborn to let it go that easy. It's annoying."
By six AM, Gajeel Redfox—of all people—had talked Gray into chasing after the love of his life. He'd even used his Iron Magic to create a lockpick which got them into the archive room, where they'd found Mira's records...and Juvia's location.
He'd barely had the time to register the irony of her quest's location before he was gone, shooting Gajeel a gruff "thanks" over his shoulder and running home to pack.
It'd been raining when he finally walked into Amefurashi Village.
He hadn't consciously known where to start looking when he arrived, but his feet—following some combination of muscle memory and the fate he'd fought for so long—had carried him to the place where the word "home" had changed for him: the cabin he and Juvia had shared. Where they'd grown together. Taken care of each other.
Where he'd left her. Hurt her. Even if most of the reason to do so was because he wanted to protect her, he couldn't stop hating himself for that.
She was standing outside the place, drenched and shivering, when he got there. As if sensing his arrival as surely as he'd known where to find her, Juvia had turned to look at Gray with eyes that were glassy above flushed cheeks. She'd wavered on her feet.
As soon as she'd whispered his name, she'd toppled. Gray's bag had landed in a puddle with a splashy thunk. He'd lunged to catch her like his life depended on it.
Shouting her name had earned him no response, but pressing the back of his hand to her forehead had been enough to convince him that she had a seriously high fever.
Strangely, as worried as he'd been about her, he hadn't even thought to bring her back to Wendy or seek a nearer healer. In hindsight, he was sure that deep down, he'd realized it would do no good; she wasn't physically ill, but heartsick, just as he was. He'd felt lower than the mud gathering around his boots.
He'd been surprised to discover that he had to break into their old home, and rapidly deduced that Juvia hadn't been staying at their old cabin even though she'd been standing outside of it, both from that fact and the fact that none of her stuff was there.
As soon as he lay her in the bed which had once been his before becoming theirs, she'd begun shivering. For the first time in his life, Gray cursed that he was an Ice Wizard instead of a Fire Wizard.
He'd run outside, grabbed his bag, then come back in—only to curse again when he unclasped the bag only to discover that all its contents were soaked. Thinking quickly, he'd stripped his wet clothes, then hers. He'd climbed into bed with her.
"'M sorry, Gray-sama..." she'd slurred her sleep. "Juvia's so sorry...Juvia had to...I just had to..."
He'd shushed her, rubbing her arms to try to warm her up. "It's okay, Juvia. I know, my love. It's okay..."
He'd kept holding her and whispering soft comfort to her until she'd finally stopped shivering, at which point his frantic worry had abated enough that he could fully admit to himself how good it felt to have her in his arms, her skin against his. How warm she was. How perfectly she fit against him. How much he missed her. She was right there, as close as another person could ever be to him. Yet with how things had been between them lately and how lost she was to fever, he'd never felt further away.
Apparently, he'd fallen asleep at some point, because when he awoke, it was to the rising sun blazing at him from the center of the cabin window. Ignoring his body's reaction to waking up in the arms of the very naked, beautiful woman he happened to be in love with, Gray had instantly dropped his hand to Juvia's forehead, sighing in relief when it became clear her fever had reduced. She wasn't better, but she was getting there.
Quickly figuring out what needed done, he'd dropped a tender kiss to her warm forehead, murmuring a threat against her sweaty hairline: "You'd better not even think of running away again, crazy woman. We are going to talk when I get back."
Gray had dressed, glanced back, and left. He'd met up with he client—a rich and unfortunately good-looking asshole about Gray's age who was way too disappointed Juvia, herself, wasn't the one who'd shown up. Through gritted teeth, Gray informed the bastard it would be a couple days before he and his partner (he was sure to emphasize those words several times) would be able to begin investigating the dark guild threatening the area, as she'd fallen ill.
It annoyed him to no end that the creep seemed genuinely concerned about this, trying to insert himself, demand to see her, and attempting to coax Gray into revealing her location (Gray couldn't help the pleasure and hope which rose in his chest, when he learned she hadn't told this guy wherever it was she was staying; obviously, she'd had no interest in sharing that information.)
The client had thrown a rich boy tantrum when Gray refused to tell him anything, but ultimately let him go when Gray promised Juvia would be there in a couple days (not bothering to mention that he would absolutely be there, too.)
He'd gone to pick up medicine and food. He'd grabbed all the ingredients he could remember for something hearty, mild, and delicious she used to make him when they lived together, a chicken stew that tasted like something he could remember from childhood. Those ingredients, medicine, ginger tea...anything he could think of that might help her feel better, he purchased, barely noting price.
Juvia had been waiting on the porch wrapped only in a blanket when he returned, flushed with both fever and anger.
They'd both been pissed at each other. While Gray locked horns with Juvia's amorous creep of a client, she had apparently been discovered by the landlord who owned their old cabin and only barely managed to talk him out of his anger, ultimately having to pay double their old monthly rent to keep him from calling the authorities—all while wrapped only in a blanket.
A brief yelling match had ensued. It ended when Juvia began coughing rather violently, Gray dropping his groceries in the mud to run to her. Even as she insisted she was fine, he'd ushered her into the cabin, forcing her to sit before he went back out to grab the food he'd bought.
Her face had gone funny when he began grouchily unloading chicken, rice, broth, veggies, and herbs. When he (somewhat defensively) asked what the hell she was staring at, she'd haltingly asked if he'd bought all of that for her. Exasperated, he'd told her of course he had, she'd had him worried sick.
The groceries had been abandoned when she burst into tears.
It had taken several minutes of heart-wrenching sobs on Juvia's part and coaxing on Gray's for the conversation to actually begin.
During their ugly fight in his apartment, she'd exploded.
Here, in the lonely home they'd once shared, she imploded.
While the groceries thawed and dripped on the kitchen counter, Juvia sobbed the whole, messy, painful truth into his chest. She told him everything. She told him how, deep down, she'd always known she wasn't worthy of having her love reciprocated by him. It had been true from the moment they'd met, when she'd been part of Phantom Lord, but remained true no matter how long she'd been at Fairy Tail. That was how she'd put it: "I always knew I wasn't worthy of Gray-sama's love." Not only because of her past, but because of how annoying she was. How gloomy. How creepy and obnoxious.
Gray hadn't even had time to express his horror at the fact she thought those things before she'd been plowing on, her tears only getting thicker and her words only making his heart sink lower.
She said knowing she didn't deserve his love had turned to knowing she didn't deserve to love him at all, when she'd killed Keyes to free Gray's father from his undead life. But even though "Gray-sama had been wonderful enough to forgive Juvia," she'd continued to hate herself, deep down.
She told him that sharing a life in the cabin they were currently in had, for her, been the sweetest kind of torture. That she'd never been so happy—and never felt more undeserving. For the first time, she told him that she'd only had one lover before Gray, some piece of shit named "Bora" who'd never cared about her or her pleasure. Gray had been nothing like him, attentive, caring, and as invested in her pleasure as he was in his own. At first, feeling so cared for had been as overwhelming as it was amazing, but by the time Gray started to pull away from her for his mission, the overwhelmed feelings had slowly begun to fade, letting her forget everything but the happiness she felt with him.
Juvia told him that the day he abandoned her to infiltrate Avatar, everything which she'd started to believe could feel right began to feel wrong, and everything which had felt wrong began to feel right. She'd never felt she deserved to be loved by Gray the way she loved him. Being left by him had, in a horrible way, made her feel like the world was how it was supposed to be.
But it had also ripped her apart.
It had destroyed any confidence she'd begun to gain in herself.
She told him that she resented being abandoned. Resented not being told about his mission to infiltrate a Dark Guild, not just because of their relationship, but because she had once been in a Dark Guild, and could potentially have helped his and Erza's Mission. She'd not only felt betrayed on a personal level, but disrespected as a Mage with no small amount of skill and experience.
It was a side to the issue which he had, shameflly, never considered.
He was mortified when she'd finally let herself chastise him for this—especially when he'd tried to defend himself by bringing up details of his mission only to be instantly struck down and ripped apart by someone who was, in fact, very obviously more knowledgeable about the inner workings of Dark Guilds than either he or Erza ever had been. Hell, Juvia could probably have run the mission almost as well as Jellal had.
For the first time, he saw just how beneficial it would have been to have her on board, despite Erza urging him not to get her involved. He should've gone against her orders, asked forgiveness instead of permission. Over the course of that one conversation, it was clear that having her on board would have shortened the length of their mission by probably several months.
But worse than the benefits they'd missed out on, in infiltrating Avatar, worse than the fact that she resented him, was her admission that she hated herself for that resentment.
She'd apologized. So many times. Too many times to count. Each apology was another crack in Gray's heart. He'd tried to ask her to stop, but they'd just kept slipping out anyway. It was like she couldn't help it.
She'd told him that over time, as she got to know the other women in Fairy Tail—Lucy, Cana, and Levy—she'd realized just how unworthy she was of the care Gray held for even just his friends. She just hadn't been forced to confront her own lacking sense of self-worth...until he openly reciprocated her feelings.
She said that the second he confessed, part of her felt wrong. Like she'd donned someone else's skin—someone who was worth being loved by Gray. Her guilt, her knowledge that she wasn't worthy of him, her bitterness, her self-hatred...all of it had come rushing to the surface.
She told him that, as unworthy as she'd felt, she'd been too selfish to reject him. Too angry at the thought of him being with someone else. Her own selfishness made her feel even worse than before. She'd been determined to be worthy of him, and so she had sought to pay every ounce of love he gave her three times over. At least.
It hadn't made her feel any better. No matter how hard she tried to be sure to pay him back, every time Gray took her on a date or made love to her, it made her skin crawl, because she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve his love, his affection, or even his attention. He deserved better, and she was nowhere close to deserving him. She never would be.
If there had been even one last, single sliver of a doubt as to how he felt about this woman, it died then and there. Nothing—not his own guilt, being screamed at, or being broken up with—nothing could hurt worse than being made aware of what a hard time she was having. Learning just how badly she'd been dissociating during all their most precious moments. How much pain she was in. How little she thought of herself. How deep her scars ran.
He'd have given anything to take her pain away. He'd have given anything to change it. Right then, he couldn't think of a single thing he wouldn't have done to make her see herself as he saw her: the energetic, caring, fierce Mage he'd come to know. The woman who always eclipsed everything else for just a second, the first time he saw her every day.
He'd wanted to tell her all that, and more. He wanted to apologize. He'd wanted to tell her how badly he missed her after he'd left her here, that this place had been home for him, too. He'd wanted to tell her how much she meant to him, that no day without her smile even felt real, but his voice had been stuck behind a lump of misery and all he'd been able to do, for a very long time, was lay in their bed and hold her while she cried the rest of it out. He wasn't too ashamed to admit he lost a couple tears in her hair, too.
Over the twilight of time it had taken for her sobs to turn hoarse, then to whimpers, then sniffles, guilt, emotional exhaustion, an anguish washed over Gray in their turn.
Until finally, he hardened all of those feelings into resolve.
"I'm really thankful that you're here. For always being beside me..."
Those were the words Gray had said to her before Alvarez, and he'd meant them. For years, Juvia had done nothing but be there for him. Even when he didn't want her there, she stayed right next to him, quietly piecing together his heart and his trust. It killed him that the woman who'd confronted him with her love, made him face down his own weakness, always thought of him, and helped him so much more than he could ever truly thank her for had been hiding so much of her own pain. He wished she would have told him any of this all the times he'd pushed and asked.
But he couldn't blame her for that. Maybe she hadn't opened up to him before then, but her mentions of her days in Phantom and of that shithead ex of hers had driven home, with stark clarity, a realization he wished he'd made a lot sooner: Juvia didn't know how to open up like Gray had tried to demand, because she hadn't grown up somewhere like Fairy Tail.
Unlike Gray and Natsu and the others, she hadn't been taught to bare her pain, hadn't always known there would be someone to listen to her, cry with her, be on her side. While Gray had been fought, teased, and accepted for exactly who he was (more often his whole self than not) Juvia had been abandoned by every single person in her life except Gajeel and those who'd wanted to use her for their own ends. Gray abandoning her had only confirmed what she'd been taught was inevitable.
But the Ice Mage wouldn't linger on that. He wouldn't give any more time to despair.
It was his turn now, he realized. His turn to stay beside her even when it was hard, and do the work. Now, he just had to figure out how. But while he'd been trying to do that, had been gathering his words, Juvia had recovered enough to speak once more.
She'd apologized again. She'd told him that she knew this was too much, that all of this was too much...that she was too much. For the times they'd shared, she thanked him quietly, eyes bright with yet more tears and refusing to meet his as she continued that she'd had to let Gray go because she wanted him to be happy, and she'd finally, finally realized she could never do that for him, not really. Then she'd tried to push him away, and as Gray had tightened his grip, he'd realized he didn't need to figure out what to do, what to say, or how to love her.
She'd been showing him all along.
After a deep breath, the words had come low, and easier than he'd thought. He told her she was right, all of this was a lot...but also that he was so, so happy she'd finally told him what was really going on. He'd been as gentle as possible when he told her he could see how difficult and scary it had been for her to open up about all this and that he was proud of how brave she'd been for doing so, but she'd started crying again anyway, so he'd had to carry on with a shakier, hoarser voice.
He'd apologized. For everything. For not taking her feelings seriously for so long, for not seeing her when she needed to be seen, for leaving her behind and hurting her so badly she'd gotten sick. He hadn't been dismissing her abilities as a Mage so much as he'd been trying to protect her, but that was no excuse. "High-handed and cruel" was a generous way to describe his behavior, and he finally saw that. He'd told her that if he could take it back, he would. But he couldn't. He could only promise to never, ever leave her like that again, and he was more than ready to make that promise. He had been for a long time, since well into the 1oo Years Quest. If she'd only give him another chance, he'd show her.
At this point, Juvia had obviously started to twig that this conversation wasn't going to go how she planned, with Gray accepting she was too burdensome and unworthy for him and leaving her alone like everyone else had left her, because she'd started kicking up a fuss, forcing him to hold her there again.
"Let Juvia go, Gray-sama!" she'd demanded shakily, sounding like she was barely clinging to her determination. But Gray had refused. He refused to let her go like this, not until she'd heard him out.
As brief as the ensuing argument had been, it was also one of the most frustrating conversations Gray had ever taken part in (and he'd fought Natsu on basically every cock-and-bull-ass plan he'd ever come up with.)
He'd tried desperately to insist that while Juvia could be creepy and he did find rain somewhat gloomy, she was not worthless or annoying or obnoxious. He'd tried to tell her that she did make him happy. He'd tried to tell her how he felt about her.
Juvia had not responded well.
A wall had slammed up in her eyes, the same blank one he'd met on that fateful, rainy day so long ago. As she'd kept denying, and he'd kept pushing, their voices had gotten louder. Eventually, Gray had realized it was raining outside the window next to their bed again, and that was the one thing that had forced him to take a step back from his own frustration. Lucky, because if he hadn't, he might have flown off the handle and ruined everything all over again.
Looking down at her, he'd forced himself to cool off and realized he was being unfair; he was asking her to take an entire journey in one leap, to unlearn a lifetime's-worth of lessons about her own worthlessness over the course of a single conversation. No one could do that. It was an unreasonable thing to ask.
And so, when he'd finally gathered his wits and perspective enough, he'd said, "You don't have to agree with me. You don't have to agree with my feelings for you. But you have to believe that they're real...and you have to at least consider my side."
Juvia's eyes had gone wide. As they regained their sparkle, he'd refused to break eye contact. Slowly, the rain had stopped, leaving them in the silent hut.
After what felt like years, she'd shakily whispered, "O-okay."
And Gray had known that they were finally, finally getting somewhere.
Quietly and slowly, with their hands intertwined between their chests and their foreheads pressed together, they'd pieced together a fragile plan. They would stay together and be as they had been, but from now on, they were both going to make a concerted effort to be honest and rebuild trust. Gray started by admitting that missing out on Quests with his team had really started to bum him out, and while this seemed to sadden Juvia at first, she admitted after some thought that in being with Gray, she hadn't been nurturing her own friendships with her friends like Gajeel and Meredy. Lucy had also asked for help training her in Water Magic, and Juvia had declined so far even though she was interested in having someone to teach.
Gray had encouraged all of this...and he'd encouraged her to visit Porlyusica, too, when they got home. The old lady was hardly a Mental Healer, but she'd hopefully be able to help them find someone who was, someone objective and removed from the situation who Juvia could talk to openly. One thing which had sunk in fully for Gray over the course of Juvia's heartrending speech was that it was going to take a lot of time, work, and love to get Juvia to a better place. There was no way the two of them could do it alone.
They'd talked and planned until their voices were hoarse...and then they'd not talked for even longer. Juvia once again dropped the "-sama." She let him come to her. She didn't just surrender herself to him the way she had when they had each other before in their cabin, she'd given him even more—in his arms, she'd bared a small and precious part of herself Gray had never even realized she hid from him.
Over the course of the month they spent in that cabin, he'd cherished everything she gave him more than most men could've in twice the amount of time. How they'd managed to deal with that Dark Guild months and months ahead of schedule, he would never understand, because his head had never been less in the game. Neither of them had been able keep their hands off each other for more than an hour when they were alone together.
Neither had been particularly disappointed when that crotchety old landlord refused to give them back any part of their months' rent. Instead, they'd stayed till June was up breaking the place in thoroughly.
"It's payback for him being a jackass to you!" Gray had once playfully defended against her neck, pinning her against the kitchen counter and grinning as she gigglingly scolded him.
He only prayed no one ever took a UV Lacrima to the inside of that place. They'd go blind. He'd taken her on the couch, over it, against the walls, on the counters and tables, and in more positions than he'd previously known existed in that bed. When they returned home, a bunch of people had pointed out that they both looked like they'd lost weight. Gray didn't doubt it, after all the—
"...seriously, none of you know what it's like, every time we travel...OI, STRIPPER, YOU MAYBE WANNA QUIT EYE-FUCKING YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHEN WE'RE IN PUBLIC, YOU GODDAMN PERVERT?!"
The absolute last voice Gray wanted to hear when he was thinking about such great, intimate things yanked him out of his reflections in the most unpleasant of ways. An expression crossed between a scowl and a grimace consumed his features.
"Gray-sama!?" Juvia spluttered, craning her neck to peer at them over her shoulder with wide eyes. She looked half-scolding, half...affected as her cheeks went rose red.
Gray felt his own face grow hot as he turned to glare furiously at the pink-haired, disgusted-and-disgusting-looking bane of his existence.
"Would you keep your voice down, Dragon Boy?! I was not 'eye-fucking' Juvia!" His cheeks burned hotter as an elderly woman passing by shot him a deeply disapproving look.
"The hell you weren't!" Natsu snapped, drawing even more attention. "I could see all your gross, perverted thoughts right there in those droopy eyes of yours!"
"ARGH! So what?!" Gray just wanted this fight to be over, and figured that sort of admitting to what he'd been doing was the quickest way to make that happen. "Can't a guy even look at his girlfriend without pink-haired, flame-brained losers getting involved?!"
"THE HELL YOU JUST CALL ME?!"
"OH, SO YOU'RE DEAF AS WELL AS BRAINLESS, NOW?!"
"THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD IT! YOU'RE DEAD, YOU ICY BAS—"
"That's enough."
Uncharacteristically subdued and uninvolved though Erza's command was, it was enough to have both Natsu and Gray cringing and sweating in fear almost instantly.
"A-aye!" they squeaked, then sighed in relief as she shot them one last glare and clanked away.
"Ah, it always goes this way." Happy folded his little blue sausage arms over his chest and tsked. "If only Gray had kept his perverted eyes on himself, we wouldn't even be talking about this."
"And just how the heck is one supposed to 'keep their eyes on themselves', huh?" Gray growled up at the floating Exceed.
"By not being you, apparently!" he cackled back, Natsu soon joining him in his obnoxious guffawing.
"Why, you—! Get back here, you little shit!" Gray made a random grab at the little creep only to curse as he missed his tail by about a centimeter.
Meanwhile, Juvia clasped her still-red cheeks with her hands and donned an all-too-familiar, starry-eyed expression. "Juvia does not mind at all if Gray-sama...covets Juvia in public! How Juvia adores Gray-sama's passion!"
Gray flinched as if he'd been whipped in the back. In a second flat, he was blushing again. "O-oi, Juvia—!" he started, scrambling to find a way to get her to calm down before she came onto him in public.
(Again.)
"However," she continued before he figured out how to distract her, turning to look at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "If Gray-sama is going to covet Juvia on a public street, Juvia thinks he should at least wear clothes."
"Wha—?! CRAP!" Gray shouted as soon as he realized he'd stripped down to his boxers. "When did that happen!?"
Juvia wrinkled her nose cutely and giggled while he scrambled for his clothes. When he was finally yanking his jacket on, he shot her a playful glare only for his lips to quirk when she winked and sauntered after Erza.
That little...she'll get it later, he thought with a huff before shoving his hands in his pockets and strolling after her. He was well aware that he was full-on grinning, now, and didn't care in the slightest.
Little interactions like that...those were the fruits of all the hard work they—especially Juvia—had done when they got back from that S-Class mission. Gray had been prepared for it to be grueling and difficult, to fight. "Relationships take work" was a piece of advice he'd heard plenty, since he started asking for advice about how to love Juvia.
But what he'd never expected to find was that, while it was hard sometimes, it was work he was all too willing and capable of doing, because it was for her. For them. And what no one had told him was that, while loving someone meant their pain became yours, it also meant that their triumphs became yours, too.
Some days had been worse than others. Even though she'd been talking to a friend of Porlyusica's and made an impressive effort to spend more times with her friends, there were moments where Gray had felt like Juvia was back at square one. But he'd been there beside her, encouraging her every step of the way while she healed, learned that he wouldn't leave her again, learned that she was worth all of it. And slowly but surely, she'd healed.
That was what no one had told him: that every time she huffed at him to do his own laundry, teased him, sassed him into taking her on a real date, and even turned him down for sex, that he would feel such a huge rush of pride and triumph.
It was true that the road had been hard, but Gray had walked it with Juvia, and that had made every step worth it.
o(O)o
AN: Ah, sorry I don't have the time to edit this now and make it more cohesive! Also that I can't publish my next chapter of Chasing Tails just yet! I definitely, definitely will come back to edit this piece one day and make it better after I've done that. In the meantime, Happy Belated Gruvia Day!
P.S.: Fun Fact! I named this partly after one of my all-time favorite fics from a completely different fandom. The Hard Road by wthtonibelle, a Kacchako fic (from the My Hero Academia fandom) which is written in a similar way and has similar themes, only it's longer and better lol. check it out if you're so inclined!
#fairy tail#gruvia#gruvia fan fiction#gruvia fanfiction#fairy tail fanfiction#fairy tail fan fiction#gray fullbuster#juvia lockser
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GUYS WHAT THE FUCK I JUST FINISHED S2 PT 2 IM GOING CRAZY WTF??? EXPECT SOOO MUCH GODDAMN ART FROM ME ITS SO GOOD BYE... spoilers below the cut cause i have specific thoughts
GEO AND COLE ARE SO CUTEEE AHHH THE WAY THEY WENT ON A LITTTLE TOUR DATE TOGETHER I LITERALLY JUMPED UP AND DOWN AND KILLED MYSELF
also DAMN that build up to arins betrayal was GOOD. i really like the fact that arin didn't immediately believe ras outright and even now he clearly doesn't think he's a good guy he just wants to see his parents and he believes ras is the only way to do that. like IDK i just like that he wasn't immediately like 'ugh fuck those ninjas!' LIKE I LIKE HOW IT KEPT TRUE TO HIS CURIOUS CHARACTER and while he believed parts of it he took the time to investigate on his own before just accepting word as truth. his falling out with sora HURTTTT
AND DAMN (2) NOKT WAS CRAZY THAT BATTLE SEQUENCE WAS GORGEOUS I WAS ABSOLUTELY ENTHRALLED . ITS NOT A GOOD IDEA TO WATCH THIS FROM 2 - 6 (ALMOST 7 NOW) AM (don't ask why it took so long to finish. i kept replaying scenes over and over and it took me like 30 mins to calm myself down enough to watch it properly) . CAUSE I KEPT ON TRYING TO NOT SCREAM FROM JOY AND WHIMSY
every single scene with lloyd was so ughhh just i really really like how its emphasized that he's not perfect and he can still do stupid shit but he's learning too because its his first time living . and i REALLY like the mentorship bond w him and sora GDODDDD
AND KAIS RETURN!?!??!?! AHHH SMITH JIANG SIBLINGS LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was cheering so loud i almost killed myself STOP IT
lloyd falling into a coma damn near sent ME into a coma cause i thought. he died. CAUSE IM REALLY COUNTING ON HIM TO DIE. and like lowkey i want him to (saying this as a HUGE lloyd fan) BUT I DIDNT WANT HIM TO GO LIKE THAT SO I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN HE RETURNED AND JUST A LITTLE UPSET HE DIDNT GET TO GO BATSHIT CRAZY BUT... THATS OKAY
and jaya :( NOAUAUARRRR NYA GET YOUR MAN BACK NEOWWWW THAT ENDING SCENE WHERE KAI WAS LIKE we'll find him together and beat his ass YESSSHEHSHDHDSDSUHRASUHEDJDSAIHEAISH I CANT WAIT I CANT WAIT I CANT WAIT I CANT WAIT I CANT WAIT JAY COME BACK HOME PLEASE YOUR SEAT IS SO COLD. ALSO WHERE IS PIXAL.
I ACTUALLY HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS BUT I CANT FORMULATE A SINGLE ONE.
FORBIDDEN 5 LORE WENT CRAZY. RAS LORE WENT CRAZY. EVERYONES LORE WENT CRAZY.
RAS YOU ARE SO AWESOME SAUCE.
CINDER JAILED ERA. I LOVE HIM.
JORDANA COME BACK PLEASEEERR SORA WANTS TO RECREATE ENEMIES TO LOVERS YURI WITH YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
ALSO. wyldfyre and roby are cute omg theyre so silly... loserboy x losergirl real.
OK ill stfu now. JUST TO BE CLEAR i will STILL be watching it when it comes out on Netflix. of course i will. i just could not hold back im sorry im weak to leaks im a fraud BUT ILL STILL WATCH THE NETFLIX VER!!! i usually use netflix for rewatches!!!!
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