#soon to be catholic
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He is risen!
Happy Easter! 🌺🐇🎉🔥❤️🐣🥚🥚🐥🏵️🌼🌻🪷🌺🌹
...also been to Catholic mass for the THIRD time in my life. ✝️
#christian#jesus#bible#christianity#christian living#bible quote#jesus christ#god#lgbt christian#soon to be catholic
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Comfort after a shattered dream
...or at least that's what I imagined💀 After seeing the story update, I think she'd opt for a more subtle action ↓
she's not letting go of his hand
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#twst cater#deeva twst#cateeva#my art#something something holding onto the only personal relationship that remained the same in and outside his dream#<- that was the original idea for the first drawing#ANYWAY- effect layers my beloveds they saved that piece bc I wasn't in a rendering mood LMAO#Before seeing his model I thought he only had one side of his head braided#and it stayed like that here bc 1. I didn't feel like changing the lineart and 2. side braids would have looked a lot better 😭#like. top head full of tight cornrows..... gotta protect his beautiful ginger locks or he's gonna look like a medieval catholic monk soon-
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everybody's fighting god in a parking lot until god's pr team invents a cute enough mascot i guess
#this is exactly the shit i'm talking about with people treating religious trauma or anger as a fucking trend#as soon as it's not the zeitgeist anymore people just go right back to not giving a shit#also love that we're bullying trans people on tumblr for being Freaks™️ then cooing over#the catholic fucking church making a child mascot#but it's just soooo cute HAD to make fanart 🥺🥺🥺 (and chase that algorithm clout 🥺🥺🥺)
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Do you ever have that feeling where, despite your distance with your religion, there's still moments where sparks of what you were bought up with, return?
I'm from a religious family, but I'm not in touch with my own religion. Yet there's me calling in the name of the Lord before and after I eat. It's like this lingering piece that I never turn to look at but somehow slips into my ordinary life.
I don't really know you that much, or your religious status. But seeing your religious talks made me want to bring this up.
I don't even know if I make sense here- just- ignore this if you want to, I don't know.
Hmmm I think so. My whole thing with it is really complicated haha. I still go to church every Sunday, though I prefer doing volunteer work with the kids over listening to the sermon. I pray before I eat out of habit. I find myself quoting the bible more often than I open to read it (though this is changing because of all the times I look for references lol). There's a resentment that I get whenever it's brought up, especially around my family. I find myself immediately on guard the minute it becomes subject of conversation. Sometimes at night I'll pace around and just talk. I don't know if I'm talking to myself or to god or whoever but. I'll talk. I think I still believe in him. I definitely believe that there's something out there. I don't think the question is of belief as much as it is of care. Do I care enough to try?
I'll say this though. Whatever I'm doing right now has gotten me to think more about bible and religion than I have in the past few years. So. That's fun! Who knew trying to explore something your own way instead of the way forced onto you by your environment gives your room to feel everything out without any preexisting pressure?
#wolfy tedtalks#anon#wolfy religious tedtalks#i have a theory#and that theory is any time some vaguely catholic holiday rolls around jesus bitch slaps me into being more religious than i currently am#first it was during easter#and now all saint's day is rolling around soon#or maybe its my period#side effects may include#nausea. fatigue. back pain. resurgence of religious belief coupled with complicated thoughts of compartmentalized trauma. cramps. mood swing
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and to you, my favorite character, i give the highest honor i can bestow………… an incredibly specific religious headcanon
#qq is catholic. obviously. he went every sunday for his entire youth and only stopped going somewhat recently (bc he got lazy)#(he’s still very catholic)#(wears a st benedicts bracelet and everything)#roier was raised catholic but stopped going to church as soon as abueloier gave him the choice (when he was about a pre-teen)#he remembers most of the saints. but only vaguely#cellbit’s been inside a church once. shortly after he got out of prison. he doesn’t know what denomination it was#(he knows he asked for a blessing instead of receiving communion)#and jaiden was raised gnostic. very earth-loving and hippy-ish
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I wanna know more about you
#fear and hunger#fear and hunger termina#samarie#marina#samarina#art#i love samarie so much.. instant art block cure.. jusy an interestjng critter#kind of projecting ish. more samarie lore please soon#thought of the school days design for samarie and was going for. catholic school girl they never let cut her hair due to superstitions#but shes still kind of neurotic u kno. thats just how she is#id like to think shes always cut her bangs (otherwise her style is just pulling all her hair out the face#and she thinks the bangs looks cool i suppose. and when she grows up she cuts rhe hair where rhe ponytail was#just very unserious content . oooo don't take it seriously ooo . i have never had faith in my characterizations
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His name is Giovanni di Pietro di Bernardone or St. Francis of Assisi.
I didn't knew he was named "Francis" by his father, who he did not have the best relationship with. Despite that, he rose above it and responded charitably.
#You could guess my confusion when I learned about his real name#apologies for my short break I was having anxiety#trying to get myself back together#Gonna render a better piece soon#St. Francis of Assisi#Saints#Catholic art#catholicism#Christianity#franciscans
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Whenever I want to start a new show, movie, book, etc, I do a quick search on Tumblr just to get the VibeTM
And whenever said fandom has a shit ton of vaguely (or explicitly) religious symbolism in their fanart, i know i'm in for a treat
#fandom#personal#im talking about all the shit going down in the pmmm community#lets go mentally ill lesbians lets go!#as soon as my wacom comes in i will be contributing#also whatever the hell is going on with bungou stray dogs#especially fyodor chuuya and atsushi#go NUTS#and all the vaguely catholic stuff we got from the toh fandom with belos hunter and emperor!luz (in watching and dreaming)#love it <3#pmmm#madoka magica#puella magi madoka magica#bungo stray dogs#the owl house
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Didn't think the conclave fandom would be a real thing, but God behold. We were gifted eyes to see the silly shenanigans ensue here.
I really think conclave is the epitome of “if it exists- people on tumblr are gonna be weird about it” and that’s Beutiful
#I’m not supprised that the tumblr girlies latched onto this one#but it is funny#I think it’s what Edward berger would have wanted#as soon as he handed Sergio Castellitto that vape pen it was over#anyway it appears the conclave obsession isn’t going away any time soon so strap in for more art#conclave 2024#conclave movie#ralph fiennes#conclave#catholic priest#stanley tucci#the pope#conclave fanart
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softly whispering “oh fuck off” every time I turn a page on this beauty from @bunabi who utterly and completely killed it as always
#we don’t celebrate catholic commercial christmas here but we do celebrate new year’s eve so the timing is impeccable#I cannot express how gorgeous the zine is. these two are my favorite but every single page warrants an hour of study#there’s shaoe language and such disciplined yet carefree looseness about them with excellent focal points#and spaces of restraint and breathing room and it’s all a cohesive vision puece somehow both internally consistent and within the frames of#the zine itself. radiates joy and celebration of the game. rich with it. oozing it from every brushstroke#I wont post any more out of respect but my god. and the leliana mini print!! she’ll be joining her fenris on my desk wall very soon#auf. lovely new year’s present. I am so grateful this exists#dragon age#art
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Mars i fear i may be dying of the plague. I have coughed blood into my sink twice now and my throat feels like I gave really aggressive oral to a scrubdaddy spongue.
Do you have any priest au thoughts/scenarios/rambles to sooth a troublde lad such as mysrlf🙏🙏
hemo. as a guy who has also coughed up blood somewhat recently. it may be time to go to an urgent care and make sure it’s nothing serious. there’s a pretty nasty pneumonia going around rn and if that IS what it is the sooner you get those antibiotics the faster you’ll recover.
as for priest au stuffs: the election kinda killed my creative flow (we’re ballin but we’re stressed) BUT i’ve been trying to flesh out hajime’s backstory a bit for the the past few days so here’s some bullet point brainstorming on that :D
check under the cut for the goods, as per usual ^_^ tw for mentions of child abuse, and also a general warning for priest au-typical horny talk and homophobia
i’ve been thinking abt hajime’s childhood/past a lot, partially bc i don’t feel fully confident writing him until i have the details of his backstory fleshed out. i think his dad was more of the aggressive “no son of mine” type of homophobic, where his mom was more of the “hate the sin love the sinner” type of homophobic. it’s cliché maybe but like. traditional catholic family values yanno. his family does differ from traditional catholicism in one way though: hajime is an only child.
i don’t think hajime was ever The Manliest Man growing up. yeah he was strong from helping on the farm, but he never felt the need to flaunt his masculine attributes. he never wanted to impress girls, he never initiated an arm-wrestling contest, and once he hit teenagerhood he quit wrestling with his friends altogether. when his friends asked him why he never roughhouses with them anymore, he tensed up and mumbled something about it being “weird” and “immature.”
he showed a lot of delicacy towards nature as well, a trait he carries into adulthood! rescuing turtles from roads, gently rehoming bugs, taking care not to step on wildflowers, that sort of thing. he was teased for this growing up :( he’d be compared to a disney princess and the like or just be called a pussy for Caring About The World Around Him. while he still loves nature and knows there’s nothing wrong with that, he does get embarrassed if his gentleness is pointed out— he’s anticipating some sort of reprimand.
been trying to think about hajime’s gay awakening. i imagine once he hit puberty he started having vague… thoughts. they weren’t attached to anyone but he kept it secret anyways since Lust Is A Sin and Masturbation Is A Sin Too and he’s not interested in growing hair on his palms or going blind (he later finds out that those are myths, but for now he heeds the tales), nor is he interested in the scolding he would get from his parents if they found out. from there we have two main options as i see it.
option A: in a parallel of the magazine he finds in Jabberwock, teen!hajime comes across some sort of gay porn. it’s completely accidental— he finds a mag or some other paraphernalia in a log or something, opens it, Realizes what is is, looks around for witnesses, and quickly stuffs it into his jacket. he’s not even sure why, but he knows he’s curious. as soon as he gets home he hides it between his mattress and his bedframe, and that night, when he’s sure his parents are asleep, he grabs a flashlight and starts to look through it. he doesn’t understand why he’s so fascinated until he realizes: he’s breathing heavily, hot in the face, absentmindedly rubbing his thighs together, and, most incriminatingly of all, he’s the hardest he’s ever been in his life. mortified, he shoves the magazine back under his mattress and tries his best to forget about what he saw, tossing and turning as he tries to calm down and go to sleep.
option B: hajime is really close with one of his peers. they’re childhood friends, and they’ve gotten along great forever. at some point, though, hajime starts feeling weird around him. not BAD weird, but… he’s nervous, and his skin seems to buzz whenever they touch, and his heart flutters when he makes his friend laugh, and… he can’t make sense of it all. not until he wakes up one night from a particularly vivid dream, chest heaving, skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and his sheets soiled with the evidence of his subconscious sin. he realizes what’s going on, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he does his best to ignore it, but it haunts him.
we could also combine these options and say both of these things happen, but idk yet. i like the loneliness of the porn but i also like the guilt of having to talk to your close friend and pretend you aren’t feeling confusing and frightening things for them.
hajime lives at home until his early adulthood, when he is Caught. if we went with option A for his awakening, then he comes home one day to find The Porn sitting on the kitchen table, its pages now crinkled from years of viewing, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he’s not sure how they found it— maybe his mom was cleaning his room and lifted his mattress? but it doesn’t matter— they Know now, and he has no way to explain himself.
if we go with option B, hajime is caught with that “good friend” of his. he had snuck in via hajime’s bedroom window, at a time they both were sure hajime’s parents would be asleep. unfortunately, hajime’s dad comes up to his room (hajime never learns the original intent of this visit) and opens the door to find his son, hair and clothes a mess, with the neighbor boy straddling his thighs, hands clearly paused in the middle of lifting up his son’s shirt. it’s silent for a bit, and the tension in the air is so heavy hajime feels like he can barely breathe. still, he breaks out of the stupor first, muttering a quiet “you need to go” to his friend without breaking eye contact with his father. the friend gets the message and bolts, leaving via the same window he came from. hajime is now alone with his father, so guilty and scared that he feels nauseous.
regardless of which of these events occurs, the outcome is the same. hajime’s father responds first, yelling and berating. hajime is terrified— he’s seen his dad mad, but never like this. never shouting obscenities and vile words at him. when told to explain himself hajime stumbles over his words, eventually landing on some variant of “i don’t know.” eventually, his father decides words aren’t punishment enough, and hajime gets the shit beat out of him for the first time in his life. he tries to defend himself, but he’s never been much of a fighter, and he doesn’t want to hit his dad, self defense or not. when his father finally storms off, his mother comes near, her eyes brimming with tears. she holds her arms out to hajime, tells her baby to come here. hajime, aching and bruised and perhaps with a freshly broken nose, collapses into his mother’s arms, silently crying into her shoulder as she pets his hair. she holds him close, rocking them from side to side, before she speaks. “oh, hajime, darling,” she starts, voice thick with tears and love, “i’m sorry. we’ve failed you, haven’t we? that’s why you’re doing this to us.” hajime’s stomach curdles at those words, and he quickly excuses himself, washing the blood off his face in the bathroom sink before he locks himself in his room.
regardless of the guilt he carries— he knew he was sinning, after all— hajime knows he is no longer safe at home. his father had never beat him like that before, and he doesn’t know that he would be able to walk away if it happened again. he doesn’t want to leave his mother, but he could tell that she was disgusted by him, too, her words still echoing in his mind. so, hajime packs as many of his things as he can fit into his suitcase, and the next day he leaves town, never letting himself look back. he job hops for a bit before he manages to get his house in Jabberwock— he got really, really lucky with the price of the property.
hajime hasn’t talked to anyone from his hometown since he left, and while he still has his parents’ landline number memorized, he doesn’t dare call. his dad’s probably disowned him, anyhow. sometimes he wonders how the people he grew up with are doing, but he can’t bring himself to go back. it’s not home anymore.
#ask#hemo#priest au#come get your lore dump! this time it’s Sad Mode#do heed that tw though. i get a little intense in this one#sorry hajime i keep putting you through the wringer. in my defense it’s compelling as shit#poor guy…. bruised and bloodied and shaking like a battered shelter dog#i like how a backstory like this sets up hajime’s personality. he was taught to be disgusted by himself#and he knows for a fact that letting word get out about his sin leads only to pain#so of course he’s secretive and self-loathing and all that jazz. of course he’s easy to manipulate#it also makes the church an even greater place of refuge for him#bc for one. father komaeda is going to Save him. he won’t need to be disgusted#and secondly. a church is safe and sacred. father komaeda won’t let anyone hurt him. he’s not in danger there#i also wanna draw some level of parallel between hajime’s father and Father Komaeda. partially bc of the shared title#and partially as a reference to the catholic family power structure and how that applies to other dynamics as well :]#i think it’d be fun if komaeda raises a hand to put on hajime’s shoulder and hajime Flinches. that’s yum#anywho hope this was satisfactory. feel better soon hemo get urself a cough drop
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What the FUCK do y’all know about sexualizing nuns⁉️🤪
#this is actually my old way of coloring#I’m so glad I decided to go back to it <3#proud of this one🫶#I hate leather but it’s so sexy 😔#I dunno how well that dude on Twitter accomplished their goal lol#guys I was legit depressed over my art style the other night and then I opened this file#got flashed by Gil and immediately felt better#my tulpa wife who flashes me and chases the demons away <3#trans Gil#succumbed to peer pressure and gave him some bangin hangers#they didn’t have to try too hard#hetalia fanart#hetalia#hws prussia#aph prussia#gilbert beilschmidt#my friend sent me a letter and was like I see you’re still in your hetalia phase#get well soon :)#or2#digital art#my art#commissions open#artists on tumblr#procreate#digital illustration#illustration#fanart#digital painting#typical catholic progression
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i will forever be grateful to that one cooking event for confirming that venti canonically dislikes pizza. because of Cheese.
#imagine: jean realises that venti probably doesn't actually eat that much nice food. she makes it her personal mission to cook him dinner.#she makes pizza - her speciality. he sees it and is obviously trying not to look ungrateful. lord barbatos hates her cooking. it's over.#<- i'm thinking this would be pretty soon after she finds out who he is#(he'd probably be stressing that they are Friends and that she doesn't need to have the whole catholic guilt thing with him.)#(it might take her a while but yeah)#venti
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one thing I’ll never get about Pynch fan works is how they constantly interpret Ronan as insecure/wary around Adam. not that it isn’t a fun thing to play with, but one thing that makes me crazy about Pynch in particular is that Ronan is unabashed about how he feels about Adam once he accepts it.
Like he’s showing up at Adam’s apartment to sleep on the floor by his bed. He’s staring at Adam whenever he can, and sometimes doesn’t even stop when Adam looks back. He gives Adam obvious gifts. He pays for Adam’s rent, knowing that Adam will probably figure it out eventually. He holds Adam’s hand for a few beats too long when Adam lets him.
#he had way more than being gay to spend his catholic guilt on#he just truly. did not know that about himself before dream thieves I think#he was in repressionville and as soon as he got out he was not ashamed of having feelings#I think it’s core to Ronans character that he’s not ashamed of feeling actually#(which makes Adam soooo angry and jealous and Gansey sooooo worried but I digress)#like yes. we know in td3 later that Ronan is afraid of holding on too tight but like. ignoring td3 rn.#and I think Adam’s worry is about moving too fast and hurting Ronan because Adam doesn’t ever know what he wants and has to think it through#anyway this isn’t as well worded as it could be but it is my thesis and I have to post it rn. no drafts just post#the raven cycle#trc#ronan lynch#adam parrish#pynch
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I take great delight in knowing extremist Christians absolutely seethe at the idea that I am joyously and unapologetically trans and queer and that I see queerness in Scripture and the Divine endlessly and that my faith makes me love my transness and queerness more 🥰
#the protesters at Pride yesterday were so pathetic and half-hearted#prayin for y'all hope God sets ur heart right soon cause you seem pretty miserable rn#also take great delight in quoting scripture back at shitty Christians and watch them splutter ThAt'S nOt WhAt ThAt MeAnS!!1!!#queer christian#trans christian#queer catholic#trans catholic#zoe rambles
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Writing about the transgender connection to Joan of Arc for my final paper….
Who want me??
#this has absolutely nothing to do with my Catholic religious trauma#Nor does Gerard Way have anything to do with this I swear#Leslie Feinberg the legend major source of this paper#i’m also making a zine#getting a Joan of arc tattoo soon#grad school#grad student#Joan of arc#queer studies#music history
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