#soobin x changmin

[koocketes]

. . . boys icons 𓂃 ִֶָ

icons are not mine.

[jvkeh]

he’s silent until it comes to head in public.

⤷ cw. semi public sex | idol x reader | © jvkeh

your boyfriend wasn’t a big moaner. during the course of your relationship, he opted for hearty grunts and low mumbles. it wasn’t to say he didn’t enjoy it, because god knows he loves it more than anything else. but he was never particularly loud.

he didn’t think anything would necessarily get him going, until he experienced the tension and sexual stress of fucking in a secluded area at a public outing after not seeing you for the duration of his family holiday. now that he got to see you at the get together with his friends, the boy dragged you off to the nearest empty bathroom and was desperate to makeout til your lungs were anaphylactic, until you suddenly kneeled on the floor.

next thing he knows, you’re on your knees, taking his cock inch by inch into your throat, hands gripping his thighs. the erected cock fits perfectly between your lips, snug as a baby’s blanket. he’s in awe of your trained resistance to your usual gag reflex. while he was away to celebrate, you were practicing the methods of taking his big dick down your mouth. fuck. he didn’t even want to think how that looked. you in bed, lonely and in your pajamas, sucking on a dildo with one hand while the other’s down your underwear. were you thinking about him? just in your loose henley tanks and lacy underwear?

“good fucking girl, taking me so well.” he groans out, living in the pleasure of feeling his dick be deepthroated. this was so new, but felt so right. you were making his cock vibrate from your hums of agreement, only heightening the stimulation he was feeling. “keep goin, honey. make me cum into your mouth.”

he knows it’s exceeded the usual time for two people to pee in the toilet, and that his friends were most definitely suspicious of what they were doing. but fuck, it feels too good to stop. not when he’s close to filling your throat with his hot cum, ready to shoot into your tummy so you be full of him. maybe, through a near impossible coincidence, he impregnates you. sounds exit his mouth at the thought of you being knocked up, all a result of him.

he ignores the ringing of his phone in his jean pocket, occupied by what’s in front of him right now. and he could feel it, the familiar rising that shoots from his inner body to his tip, but in a stronger sense. like he combined his three orgasms to make one ultimate, ready to land in your mouth any second.

and it hits him like a truck as white seeps out of his tip, filling your mouth like a liquid snowstorm. you groan out loud, making his cock even more sensitive as he moans loudly at your mouth talents. he’s not going to be able to place underwear over without getting edged. “fucking hell, honey.” he exhales. “where did you learn this?”

you remove yourself from his mouth, a hand still gripping his cock as you wiped the remaining cum off your lips. “a secret.” you winked as your eyes scanned his blush, a result of your unfamiliar intimacy. “i never heard you moan this loud before.”

he shrugged, a smile etched on his lips. “i never felt you deepthroat like that in a span of ten minutes before.”

juyeon, HEESEUNG, jeno, vernon, JEONGHANNNNNN, juyeon, WONWOO, changmin, soobin !

taglist: @duolingofanaccount

[jayflrt]

a study in demons

PAIRING ▸ yang jungwon x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ horror, angst, psychological thriller

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, semi graphic depictions of violence and gore, character death, mental illness

SUMMARY ▸ always keep a supply of latex gloves on you. wear shoes bigger than your actual size. if you’re looking for a nice and clean death, a couple of visine eye drops in a drink should do the trick. 

or, yang jungwon doesn’t want to be a murderer. he just wants to get away from all this, and that’s not easy when nishimura riki’s next target happens to be you.

WORD COUNT ▸ 2,846 words

TAG LIST ▸ @mindprismus @ily-cuz-i @mmsriza @changmin-wrlds @13isacoolnumber @from-xero @svnglvs @acciomylove @sakuracoffee @nyujjan @goldenhypen @bbanggami @honeyju @lvsunq @notmangojuice @luvrjn @cb97curls @jakeyuni @soobisms @rikibae @soobin-chois @xiaosimp3​ @outrologist​ @nabinthegardnn​ @viagumi​ @mxnuilx97​ @euphorecore​ @kpoplover718​ @duolingofanaccount​ @jjongsha​ @teawithbucky​ @fiantomartell​ @baekhyunstruly​ @mykalon​ @heelariously​ @hobistigma​ @simplyxlea​ @wntrsgf​ @person-standing​ @ja4hyvn​ @dnyamight​ @candidupped​ @shmooooo​ @pr0dbeomgyu​ @heeyunkist​ @sunshine-skz​ @hiqhkey​ @kp0p10v3r2​ @baekhyuns-lipchain​

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ hihi it’s been a while since i posted writing here, and this is more halloween themed oops but this is inspired by mix & max bleeding darkness !! i analyzed their dancing and performance for this :’) sorry jungwon i literally bias u and all the fics i’ve written for u are horror </3 hope y’all enjoy this little installment ♡ my search history looks so concerning now sobsob

THE FIRST TIME YANG JUNGWON SAW SOMEONE DIE IN FRONT OF HIS EYES, HE WAS NUMB.

It was a strange feeling, like crushing a bug slowly and watching its guts spew out while it struggled under your grip. Not that Jungwon did that—regularly. But that was what he thought of as he watched Nishimura Riki drive a knife into someone’s stomach. Jungwon felt a strange feeling of dissociation as he watched the light leave the other man’s eyes.

He thought the first sight of death would be accompanied by a wave of nausea, a lack of control over his limbs, and echoes of screams in his head. Instead, Jungwon remained still and observant. Maybe if he avoided allowing his presence to be known, then Riki wouldn’t even notice the accomplice standing next to him.

There was something horrifying about the way a human would stop begging for their lives and succumb to their fate. Jungwon always shuddered a little when he saw the last drop of hope get squeezed from their eyes. Riki never failed to point out how they stopped looking for mercy and started waiting for freedom.

That was then. Now, Jungwon wasn’t sure if he could ever shake off the dreadful feeling in his gut.

This time, they were in an abandoned warehouse. It was a bit of a cliché, Jungwon thought, but it was deserted and easy to deal with their victims. They used this place most of the time because of how secluded the area was. It didn’t really matter to Jungwon since Riki did most of the dirty work, leaving the older boy to clean up.

Jungwon didn’t want to kill. He didn’t have it in him. When Riki made a light joke about it, though, Jungwon’s fingers started twitching.

He once thought that teenagers like him were one of the most independent beings in a sense, untouched and ignorant to the cruel world and its convoluted cultures. Teenagers like him represented all the good and pure things in the world, like searching for a four-leaf clover in a field, or picking up a penny from the sidewalk. He believed that they were all born innocent, foolishly trusting and unknowing of the evil around them.

Jungwon believed that he was once like that.

His parents loved him so dearly. They were the kind of parents that any child would dream of having, and, to this day, Jungwon knew he took them for granted. What he regretted most, however, was not being able to be the son that they wanted.

He really shouldn’t have even been thinking about it, considering his parents were already dead.

“Jungwon,” Riki called out sharply, pulling the boy out of his spiraling thoughts. “Take care of him for me, okay?”

“Who was he?” Jungwon asked, even though it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter because he knew that Riki would always answer with, “Who knows?” and this time around was no different. Humans were just empty vessels to the boy.

There were several different motives that killers had—that made sense, however messed up the reasoning was. Even with Dennis Rader and John Wayne Gacy, it was clear that they got some sick, twisted pleasure out of dominating their victims and watching them suffer. They saw their victims as some ritualistic token.

The FBI called monsters like them stone-cold psychopaths, but Jungwon disagreed; he believed the real monster was Nishimura Riki because he had never seen an individual so apathetic about human life.

If someone asked Jungwon what Riki’s motive was, he wasn’t sure he would be able to answer them properly. Riki had always been distant, always interacting at an arm’s length, so when Jungwon found him stabbing a man to death in an alleyway, he felt like the killer could finally pull him in with blood-stained hands. That was the first time Jungwon had ever seen Riki so delighted, so happy to embrace him.

Maybe part of Jungwon was scared that he would end up being Riki’s target one day. Maybe that was the reason he hadn’t reported the boy yet—why he kept cleaning up his crimes.

But there was also a distressing feeling that lingered in the back of Jungwon’s head, making him wonder if he stayed because he liked this.

He couldn’t bring himself to think about that any further, though. There was no way Jungwon could possibly enjoy the very actions that made him sick to his stomach. He felt tortured enough each time, watching Riki slice and slash at his victim slowly.

Sometimes, Riki liked to get the job done quickly, slipping a couple of visine eye drops into a drink and forcing it down his victims’ throats. On other occasions, he liked to extend the duration of  the kill for his own amusement. He got a kick out of the process, relishing how he could prolong their suffering.

“Are you leaving?” Jungwon asked when he heard footsteps toward the door.

“Yeah,” Riki answered. “I got his key, so I’m gonna go check out his place. Maybe he has a cool toy.”

“Toy,” Jungwon echoed, and a dry, hollow laugh followed. “Yeah, bring me back a souvenir.”

When Riki left, it was time for Jungwon to get rid of the evidence.

Oxygen bleach was perfect for getting out the blood and forensic evidence, and then Jungwon would go over the area with a vacuum to make sure he got all the clothing fibers and hairs out. After that, he would mop the area with a solution of water and vinegar to get rid of the footprints. He made sure to keep the area spotless, even if nobody came by the warehouse.

He hauled the body to the back of his car, popping open the trunk where a suitcase was. He had to use some force to break some of the limbs so that he could shove the corpse inside. After zipping the suitcase up securely, Jungwon looked around once—only once because any more times would be far too suspicious—before he closed the trunk and got in the driver’s seat.

The drive to his apartment was a blur. Jungwon didn’t have time to worry about being caught because this was routine to him. The area was shoddy enough so no one would sniff him out, and the apartment complex lacked proper security. Jungwon couldn’t complain, though; it was the perfect arrangement for him to clean up for Riki.

What he normally did was take the suitcase out of the trunk and carry it upstairs to his floor. However, seeing that the suitcase was far too heavy to not draw suspicion, Jungwon waited until most people were asleep to drag it upstairs. He scrunched up his nose at the putrid smell, but he just needed to bear with it until he was in his room.

Once he locked the door to his apartment behind him, it was time to prepare the bath.

Water and sodium hydroxide—once heated at the right temperature, it was the perfect concoction to liquify corpses. Jungwon always wore latex gloves while doing so, of course, and he chopped up the parts so that he could melt them effectively.

It was a gruesome job, but someone had to do it.

Of course, there were days where Jungwon thought of ratting out Riki. He despised this lifestyle, wanting to get away from it desperately, but he felt trapped. Riki’s mocking words always parroted in his head, reminding him that he had no one else in the world.

So Jungwon played janitor as per Riki’s request. Even if he was trapped, he had to save his own skin somehow.

The day Jungwon started to develop a crush, he knew it was doomed from the very beginning.

Of course, Jungwon still attended school like anyone else. Not only did it keep him in line with the compulsory education laws, but it provided the perfect alibi. Jungwon was almost invisible at school, keeping his presence weak so that he wouldn’t have to get close to anyone. However, after moving seats and ending up next to you, he realized he was doomed.

Normally, people got butterflies in their stomach while heat rushed to their cheeks. Jungwon only felt dread. He knew that people like him weren’t allowed to fall in love and experience such emotions.

Falling in love broke routine in the profession. If that routine fell apart, it would affect Jungwon’s performance. When he made a mistake on the job, his and Riki’s lives were on the line.

More importantly, if Riki caught onto Jungwon’s developing feelings, it would be over.

He couldn’t help it, though. Jungwon found himself falling for you faster than he expected.

Part of the routine was keeping a distance from others. He couldn’t afford to hold people closer than arm’s length. It would just be the same outcome as what happened to his parents.

Riki was what happened to his parents.

But you were such a gentle presence in his miserable life. Your smiles made Jungwon feel like he was on Cloud-9, and the way your eyes lit up made his heart twist painfully in his chest. He had never felt this way before—not in a long time—and it was almost suffocating.

You started to join him for lunch at the rooftop, away from the ruckus and noise of the cafeteria room. Jungwon was grateful that you weren’t pushy about him joining the other students, either. All you did was sit by his side and allow him to open up at his own pace.

“Why don’t you bring lunch, Wonnie?” you asked one day, handing him half of your sandwich. The careful probe of your question made Jungwon want to tell you everything, but he was afraid to push you too far away. “If you don’t wanna share, that’s fine. I’ll just bring you something to eat every day.”

“Thanks,” was all he could muster, gingerly taking the sandwich from you.

It was just a sandwich. Just bread and ham and lettuce.

It was just a sandwich, yes, but it was everything Jungwon needed right then and there. It was enough to make him want to cry.

Perhaps he had been deprived of human kindness for far too long. It was the consequence of being so distant with everyone, although he preferred not allowing anyone to get near. Anyone who got too close would end up seeing him as a monster.

He feared that would happen to you, too.

“Is that girl a new friend of yours?” Riki asked several nights later.

The victim tonight was a gas station worker who had pissed Jungwon off quite a bit. The new employee was Jungwon’s coworker, but he kept slacking off while Jungwon was trying to show him the ropes. He kept his emotions under wraps and walked away from the situation, but Riki insisted on teaching the man a lesson.

It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.

It never was, but it did.

Jungwon’s mouth went dry and his knees went shaky when he saw the light leave his coworker’s eyes. He hardly processed Riki’s question because he was so fixated on the dying man. When it registered, though, his heart started to pound in his chest.

“No,” he replied quickly. “I don’t have friends.”

“Yes, you do. You eat lunch with her every day. She feeds you like a fucking mom.”

Mom. Tears pricked Jungwon’s eyes. Push it down, push it down, push it—

“Bring her here next time,” Riki added. “I wanna play with her.”

“No.” The words left Jungwon’s mouth before his brain could process it. He stiffened when Riki drew his attention away from his coworker to glare at him. Jungwon continued, “She’s just a random classmate, that’s all.”

To his surprise, Riki just smiled. Wide. Cold. Bloodthirsty.

“You’re really bad at secrets, Wonnie,” he sneered, “because you’re so fucking transparent.”

It was almost cruel how Jungwon was so tightly wrapped around Riki’s finger.

“Are you free after school?” he asked you during lunch, murmuring the words so quietly because he didn’t even want to hear them come from his lips.

It was heartbreaking to see how your face brightened up. “Yeah, I am.”

“Wanna go somewhere together?”

“Where?”

“It’s a secret.”

Maybe if Jungwon was as cryptic and vague as possible, then you would turn down his offer. He was banking on you having some strange gut feeling about his offer.

You were far too innocent for something like that to happen, though.

You hesitated before you answered, “I’ll go.”

You really were too good for Jungwon.

The amount of trust you placed in him was incredible. Jungwon had never met someone who had so much faith in him, but it crushed him even more to think about how he was going to stab you in the back soon. He couldn’t understand why Riki had such a strong hold over him, but he prayed that he would show you mercy.

He brought you to the same old abandoned warehouse, and you looked a bit uneasy this time. You didn’t make any effort to move when Jungwon opened his door to get out of the car.

“Come on,” he urged. “It’s really cool inside.”

“I don’t know, Wonnie,” you replied. “It looks kinda creepy. Can we just go back? We can think of something else to do in the city.”

He nearly jumped at your offer. It would be perfect to actually hang out with you without worrying about Riki, but now that you two had arrived, Jungwon knew that the killer was awaiting your presence in the warehouse.

“I’ll protect you,” he lied right through his teeth, flashing you a reassuring smile. “It’s not that scary. Trust me.”

Finally, you complied and took his hand. Jungwon sucked in a sharp breath when your fingers interlaced with his, wondering if this would be the last time he held your hand.

When he entered the warehouse, Riki stood at the back, holding a crowbar in both hands. It was one that he had used on his victims before; it was mainly to knock them out so that they could be tortured later. Riki spun the crowbar around lazily a few times before gripping it tight and walking toward the two.

“Oh, you actually brought her.” Riki barked out a dry laugh. “You really can’t resist your urges, can you, Jungwon?”

“Wonnie?” you asked in a small voice, a little fearful. You tried to let go of his hand, but Jungwon gripped on tighter.

Riki was wrong. He didn’t have any sort of urge. All he wanted was to get away from this sick reality, but every time he thought of escaping, Riki would reel him in again.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Jungwon whispered. “I really do like you, I swear.”

“Wonnie, I—”

Before you could get the rest of your words out, Riki raised the crowbar to bash your head in. However, some protective urge came over Jungwon, and he stopped Riki from dealing too painful of a blow to your skull. You cried out and fell forward, and he could tell you were disoriented, but you were still conscious.

“Stop it, Riki!” Jungwon cried.

“You knew what would happen to her if you brought her here,” Riki said grimly. “If you’re so against it, then why’d you bring her?”

“Because, I…” he trailed off before frowning. Why did he bring you?

“You want her dead,” Riki said. “You brought her here because you want to kill her.”

“No, you want to kill her!”

“No, Jungwon.” Riki’s dark eyes bored into his so intensely that Jungwon felt cornered. “You even hit her with the crowbar.”

He felt his mouth going dry again. Knees getting shaky. The ground beneath him was slipping away.

“No,” he whispered, “no, I stopped you from hitting her too hard.”

“No, you stopped yourself.”

“Shut up, Riki!” Jungwon tugged a frantic hand through his hair. “Why are you turning this on me?!”

“J-Jungwon…” you whimpered, trying to pull yourself up from the ground. Your eyes were focusing and unfocusing, and you tried to blink several times to regain your vision. Your voice was weak when you begged, “I don’t know what I did, but please stop hurting me.”

“What?” Jungwon’s eyes went wide. “Y/N, I was trying to stop Riki from hurting you!”

Before you could respond to him, the both of you turned at the sound of sirens coming from outside the warehouse. Jungwon zeroed in on your phone that was strewn aside, the 911 call still running. You must have kept the number ready when you entered the warehouse, and Jungwon must have been so occupied with Riki that you rang the police while he was busy talking.

“No…” he whispered, voice breaking when he asked, “Y/N, what are you doing?”

Your eyes looked sincere. “You need help, Jungwon.”

“I don’t need help,” he insisted, “Riki’s the one who needs help!”

“Jungwon,” you whispered, agonized. His world all but shattered when you asked, “Who’s Riki?”

A Study in Demons: Dissociative Identity Disorder

[kyufessions]

darling

synopsis: after a late night dinner in the city, you and changmin have some tipsy fun

pairings: boyfriend! changmin x afab! g.n. reader

genre: smut, 18+

request: smut, #11 + #13

word count: 0.7k

warnings: semi-public sex, use of the word slut + darling i think that’s all, lmk if i missed anything!

a/n: this…. yeah 😵‍💫. hope this fit anons needs! sorry it took a bit, enjoy ~

general taglist: @jwnghyuns @eaudenana @soobin-chois

tbz taglist: @ilovechanhee

“i wanna fuck you right against the glass so everyone can see how good you take it.” was all your boyfriend needed to say to get you in the mood.

and as soon as you both got back to your hotel room, that’s exactly what you did. as soon as that door closed, you were automatically pressed up against it with each of your clothings being torn off by one another between sloppy, tipsy kisses. although tipsy off of expensive wine and an even more expensive steak dinner, you both were sober enough to consent to what was about to occur. moving from the door to the bed, you eventually moved towards the glass of the large window of your New York City hotel room. normally, you wouldn’t dare doing something like this semi-publicly but considering you were on the fiftieth floor overlooking a river, you both figured that even with the lights off it’d be nearly impossible to notice in the dark of 2:30AM.

as changmin’s lips pulled away from your neck, leaving a deep purple mark, the moonlight illuminated his heavy eyes that seemed to only be focused on you. “get on your hands and knees, right now.” he slurs, his voice deep.

you do as instructed, getting down on the floor only to be railed by your boyfriend moments later. ass in the air as your hands stayed pinned against your back, your drunken moans sound like the perfect melody of changmin’s new favorite song. as he continued plowing into you feverishly, he moved his one hand from your waist to your chest to sit you up straight against his body. his movements were halted for a second, earning a sad sigh to leave your lips at the pleasuring sensation leaving your body.

before you can even question why he stopped, you feel him push you forward against the glass of the window. the cold of the glass sends shivers throughout your body, goosebumps being felt underneath changmin’s fingertips as his free hand travels your body and lands to your clit. the other arm is still wrapped around your chest, keeping your body pressed against his as he continues to pound into you. your hands land on the glass in front of you, wanting to find anything to attempt to hold onto as this pleasure overwhelms you.

“that’s right, darling.” changmin growls, his voice low and demanding as his lips nibble on the tip of your ear before continuing to speak again. “show the world how well you take my cock.”

even though you were in New York City, the city that never sleeps, you didn’t want to moan as loud as you normally do to be considerate of other travelers as well. in order to hold back your moans, you bite down on your lower lip and let out almost inaudible whimpers. but changmin is right behind you, hearing every little sound you and your body make. “be as loud as you always are, darling.” he mumbles as he peppers kisses down your shoulder, nibbling along his trail. “let them hear how much of a beautiful slut you are.”

he felt you clench around him at his words, making him moan himself as well along with you. the vulgar noises bounce off the hotel room walls, your pussy dripping down onto the cold floor and causing a puddle to begin to form. changmin notices this at a quick glance, chuckling between moans as he watches you shake in the window’s reflection. as he feels himself coming close, he quickened his pace on your clit as he went harder into you. before you knew it, you both were coming undone underneath the brightening moonlight providing minimal lighting.

for a few moments, changmin just holds you against his body as you come down from your high, your embrace being all the comfort he needs to calm down after such a rough session. between catching his breath and playing with your hair between his fingers as he admires you laying in his arms, he hears little snores escape from your slightly parted lips. looking down to make sure you were asleep, he picks you up in his arms bridal style and makes sure to tuck you into bed before snuggling up next to you for the night. before falling asleep, he made sure to make a mental note to take more new york city vacations with you.

[flwoie]

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

cover designer — @giantkeroppi

・❥・ SYNOPSIS ➸ After encountering an app called 'BigHit', you met people who you can relate and rely on. Putting your trust on people online is never a good option, otherwise your online best friend could end up being someone you never want.

PAIRING ➸ enemy! beomgyu x volleyball player! gn! reader

GENRE ➸ smau (yes it’s another smau), enemies2lovers (yes it’s another e2ls), fluff, crack, angst

WARNINGS ➸ profanity; each chap has it’s warning

FEATURING ➸ winter of aespa isa of stayc chaeyeon jooyeon of xdinary heroes eric and changmin of tbz jiheon of fromis_9 kazuha of lesserafim soobin of txt sunghoon of enha keeho of p1h yuna of itzy chuu of loona

NOTE ➸ THIS SMAU IS PURE FICTION, ALL THE IDOLS MENTIONED IN THIS DO NOT REFLECT WITH THEIR ACTUAL LIFE AND CAREER. THIS IS A NON-IDOL ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. SIDE NOTE :: some of this will be episodic but there is a proper plot!!

STATUS ➸ discontinued :(

╰┈➤ START 03/08/23

╰┈➤ END …

SONATA SPEAKING ➸ hi hi, this my first txt smau (let’s forget abt my yeonjun one 🥸) but sona redebut 😱😱 oh and this was queued, i’m at work rn

☆ playlist — «i said, are we still friends?»

PROFILES ➸ walmart haikyuu❔emos❔jeff, age 75

ONE — jip 🤮🤮

TWO — why not by loona

THREE — E-E-E DATER 😨

FOUR — ra pam pam myself

↳ BONUS — stop arguing in my comments

FIVE —

more will be added…!

masterlist

[sungbeam]

nonidol!ji changmin x bff!fem!reader

after the death of his best friend, changmin’s been left to grieve and wallow. but when you suddenly come back to him in the form of a ghost, he realizes that this might be his chance to right some wrongs. (aka; changmin has seven days with your ghost to figure out why you’ve been returned to the land of the living.)

▷ genre, warnings. childhood friends au, you are literally dead./major character death, mentions of a car accident, implied past bullying, swearing, fluff, comedy as a coping mechanism, angst, comfort/hurt, grief and survivor’s guilt, so much crying that you might get tired, just telling you now it is not meant to be a romantic plot but there r hints bc i’m a sucker, i’m not religious but ur a ghost(?), getting over one’s best friend’s death is not easy folks so that’s why y/n goes ghost B)

▷ total wc. 16.8k </3

▷ permanent taglist. @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @honeyhuii @y3jiishot @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @ethereal-engene

a/n: hey hello! ik this prob won’t get a lot of interaction bc it’s a tbz fic and non-romantic main, but it would mean a lot to me if u reblogged and shared this :’) otherwise, hope u enjoy, and here's some mood songs: yellow (coldplay), last (dvwn), & let's hurt tonight (onerepublic)

DAY ZERO

JUYEON wasn’t really the best at approaching people in this way. There was something about sad people that made him feel helpless, and the fact that this was Ji Changmin, one of his closest friends, the helplessness had collapsed into a sinkhole in the pit of his stomach. Even Chanhee, someone who was arguably closer to Changmin, sat silently after Kevin’s proposed question.

Kevin lifted the straw of his coffee to his lips, eyes glued to a crack in the table they surrounded in the local coffee shop by the school campus. “So… no one has any ideas?”

Sad, drooping heads.

Chanhee blew a puff of air out from his lips as he propped his chin onto his palm. There seemed to be a permanent frown etched into his face nowadays, not far from how Changmin looked. “I wish that we knew how to get through to him, y’know? I think if he would just let us, then we could at least be there with him.”

“He’s grieving, Chanhee,” Kevin replied firmly, but not unkindly. “If he wants alone time, then he deserves that time to himself. But I do think that he needs to come out of his apartment. I mean… his parents will not be happy when they find out he’s skipped almost a month’s worth of classes.”

It had been about a month since that dreadful night you died. Changmin and his friends had all awoken to the news that there had been an Accident. It was on the corner of two streets, on the opposite side of campus, that you had been run down by a drunk driver on your way home from a late shift. Since then, Changmin refused to crawl out of his apartment, insisting on hoarding himself away. He’d only come out of the apartment to let Gana frolic and do his business, but would then proceed to go straight back to his hobbit hole.

This was a far cry from the Changmin they knew—the one who would drag his friends out to the permanent Haunted House attraction in the middle of July, the one who refused to return to his own apartment until he nailed a dance move just right. But the day you died seemed to be the day that Changmin had as well.

Juyeon chewed on his bottom lip, knee bouncing up and down fervently with anxious energy. He hated feeling helpless. As Kevin and Chanhee continued to talk themselves aloud through their own thoughts, Juyeon pulled his phone out from his pocket and sent Changmin a series of texts. When he finished, he shoved the phone under his thigh to keep from constantly checking the screen for disappointment.

“…could always call up Sunwoo and drive him up here. I’m sure he would gladly intrude to cuddle—”

Juyeon was suddenly yanked back out from tuning in when he felt his phone vibrate. His eyes widened slightly in surprise as he watched the little bubbles appear under Changmin’s name.

juyo: hey changminnie~ wanna come get bbq with us tonight? it’s on me !

juyo: ice cream afterward on me too

kyu: okay

kyu: what time?

———

Changmin didn’t know what possessed him to come out of his apartment to hang out with his friends. For far too long, he had refused to hang out with anyone else besides Gana and his lonesome. But something in him ignited at the sight of Juyeon’s texts and offers; perhaps it had been his stomach and dwindling bank account.

Nevertheless, he told Juyeon that he would meet him there, and he wasn’t about to flake on his word.

He exhaled a haggard sigh from his mouth, the breath turning to visible air in front of him. His nose and cheeks were pink from the cold nipping at his skin, but the sensation felt nice, felt normal. He ducked his head, puffy and tired eyes hidden beneath a red baseball cap, and shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark hoodie as he walked across the street to reach the lively and warm embrace of the bbq restaurant.

He spied his trio of friends lingering just outside the door, small smiles on their faces as they talked about something amongst themselves. Chanhee threw his head back in a laugh at something Juyeon said, and Changmin suddenly felt out of place without even being there. What if he was just going to ruin the mood? He didn’t want them to be sad or walk around eggshells around him. What if he cried, just out of nowhere? That would definitely ruin the mood—

Before he could swivel on his heel and turn back, Kevin caught his eyes from down the road, his face lighting up. He raised a hand to wave him over, catching the attention of the other two who turned to look. “Yo, Changmin! You made it, man.”

Changmin tried for a smile, his shoulders relaxing. This was fine; he was going to be okay. “Hey guys.”

Chanhee immediately rushed over to him and crushed him in an embrace. “I can’t believe I’ve missed you,” he lamented into Changmin’s jacket.

Changmin chuckled, affectionately patting his friend’s head. “Well, I’m not surprised. I missed you, too, though.”

When Chanhee pulled back, there was an expression of stark disbelief on his face. But before he could point out that Changmin actually admitted to missing him, Changmin was greeted by Kevin and Juyeon.

Juyeon pulled him into a small side hug. “How’re you feeling?”

Changmin swallowed. The tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and his inner voice was shouting at him to hold back. He sucked in a breath. “I’m… I’m okay. How’re you guys?”

There was an exchange of looks between the other three as if they didn’t believe him or they were all silently trying to figure out what best to respond with. Kevin was the one who said, “We’re doing okay, too. Come on; our table’s ready.”

And that was perhaps the very response that Changmin was hoping for—and yet, at the same time, he wondered if he would have liked it better if they called him out for lying instead.

———

Changmin stumbled into his apartment, hand flapping against the wall blindly to find the lightswitch. His dark bangs hung in his eyes as the lights flickered on. He winced, digging his thumb and forefinger into the corners of his eyes to stave the brightness. As he kicked the front door shut, he heard the jingling of Gana’s collar as his pup came up to circle around his legs in warm greeting.

He bent down slightly to scratch behind Gana’s ears. “Hi, boy. Yeah, I’m back.”

He let out yet another sigh and dragged himself over to the couch, collapsing onto the cushion dented with the imprint of his butt from heavy use. Gana leapt onto the couch beside him, dutifully taking residence on the cushion and resting his fluffy head in Changmin’s lap.

For the first time in a month, Changmin had smiled, laughed even. He didn’t like admitting that it had made him feel good; he didn’t like that he could be happy when you’d died so soon ago. The devil perched on his shoulder whispered insecurities into his ear and that high he had been on while out with Chanhee, Kevin, and Juyeon disappeared. Replacing it was that gut-wrenching guilt in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t even describe the deep sadness that fell over him like a tsunami wave. Everything had come to deafening silence, like when he would dunk his head beneath water. Everything became muted… he was slipping again.

Changmin leaned his head against the back of the couch and let the tears trail down the sides of his face. He was trying to breathe—inhale, exhale, inhale—but he would only choke on the sounds of his sobs.

Gana crawled into his lap now, warm mass like a hug. It was the only thing grounding Changmin to reality now.

Do you even deserve to be happy? He wondered to himself, shifting to sit up and wipe the tears from his cheeks with the backs of his hands. Did you deserve to go out and be happy when Yn can’t?

Changmin swore under his breath, angrily pawing at his face again, willing the waterworks to stop. “God, stop crying, you fucking wimp,” he growled at himself.

It wouldn’t help; of course, it wouldn’t help.

His frame trembled and quaked and… and…

Changmin gently moved Gana off of his legs so he could make his way over to the little side table beside his TV. It used to be where he stashed yours and his favorite movies, video games, and board games. But now, it had become home to pictures of you and him, tealights, and your favorite plushie that he kept from when your parents asked to meet with him.

All of it. Why was it here if only to remind him of the person he treasured most lost to the cruel hand of fate?

He collapsed before the table, knees pressed between his body and the cold, hard ground. He clasped his hands together, tears pouring down his face. “If I could just see you again, Yn… just one more time,” he managed to choke out. “Just one more time. Please.” Would that even be enough?

DAY ONE

LIGHT filtered in through the shutters of the apartment windows and directly into Changmin’s eyes, but what woke him up was the incessant sound of Gana’s barking. Changmin groaned, body rolling around onto its side as he reached for his phone charging on the nightstand. It was ten in the morning, well past his first lecture of the day’s allotted time.

He sniffled, hand reaching up to gently touch his puffy eyelids. God, eight hours and he still woke up sore as—

“Jesus, it’s still a pigsty in here.”

Changmin froze. Gana kept barking.

He blinked. He must have been hearing things, because he couldn’t have just heard your voice say that from out in the living room.

Changmin shook his head. He really needed some coffee or something. Now he was hallucinating you? How much worse could his mental health get? Maybe he really should have accepted that offer from your parents when they’d asked him if they could pay for any counseling services he needed. He rose from the bed with a yawn, arms stretching up over his head.

Gana had stopped barking at this point, and Changmin mentally thanked whatever it was that was making his dog go mad for…

The thought ran dry in his head like words dying upon his tongue. He stepped over the threshold between his bedroom and the main living space, and his eyes landed on something awfully peculiar… Not something, rather someone. You. He was staring right at you leaning down to scratch Gana behind the ears.

His heart leapt into his throat and his eyes fluttered shut. This could not be happening.

“Holy shit!” Your exclamation made his eyes shoot open. You were gaping at him now as if you were surprised to see him. “You’re supposed to be at class!”

He couldn’t help but retort in his own defense, “And you’re supposed to be dead!” But here you were, in the flesh—in an old T-shirt from your high school Science Olympiad team and comfortable sweats—petting his dog.

Changmin grasped his bedroom door frame, free hand flying to hold his head. “Oh my god, I’m going insane. What was in that ice cream last night?”

There was no plausible reason for you to be standing in his living room right now. Not when you had been dead for an entire month. He had been at the funeral, had sobbed his heart out over the pile of dirt they’d shoveled over your grave. A prickling sensation came to the corners of his eyes and he willed himself to not start crying again. He didn’t even know he had tears left to cry after the session he’d had last night.

“Changmin.”

He shuddered.

Your voice was softer this time as you slowly moved away from Ghana. “Changmin, it’s Yn Ln. You know me.”

He peeked out from behind his hand and sniffled. Nevermind, he was definitely crying. “Stop,” he rasped, shaking his head. “Stop. This is just a figment of my imagination. Yn is not really here; she’s definitely—” His voice broke and he let go of the door jamb so he could bury his face into the palms of both of his hands. He let out a shaky breath. “I need coffee.”

He averted his eyes from looking in your direction as he shook some sense into his head and headed straight for the kitchen to start the coffee pot. He could hear Gana’s collar jingle as he bounded after him.

You could only stand there where you had been before and watch with sad eyes as he kept his back to you the entire time the coffee brewed.

One scaldingly bitter cup of brew later, Changmin leaned his back against the counter to face you. His face was set in a permanent grimace from the gross after taste of that hot bean juice, but the slight buzzing sensation at the back of his head was definitely a sign of alertness. Okay, now to solve all his problems.

“So you’re a ghost?” Were the first words from his mouth.

Your face dropped into a deadpan that was so you, Changmin almost broke out into hysterical giggles. “That’s your first question?”

“It’s a very valid question.”

You sighed. “Yes. Sure, I’m a ghost.”

He narrowed his eyes on you, lifting the mug in his hand to his lips, then frowning when he realized it was empty. “Okay, but how do I know you’re really Yn? How do I know you’re not just a projection of my crippling depression, and that you’re actually my Yn?” He didn’t know where the my had come from, but he was going a little too insane to care.

You made a face at him, nose wrinkling up cutely. He could see you in all the little mannerisms, and to be honest, he wouldn’t be surprised at all if you turned out to be simply a figment of his imagination because he knew you that well. He could probably resurrect you into an animated character if he knew how to animate in the first place. “Changmin, how am I supposed to prove to you I’m actually Yn? You can’t just recognize me?”

Maybe his brain was just tuning into work mode to block out all of the emotions. At the moment, he let his playful, curious side win his body over. “I dunno,” he grinned. “Ooh! What is my middle name?”

“You don’t have a middle name.”

“What is my favorite movie?” He stopped short, his pointer finger tapping his chin. “Wait, that’s too obvious. When’s my birthday?”

You squinted at him in disbelief. “So your favorite movie is too obvious, but your birthday, which is on your birth certificate, isn’t?”

He huffed. “Okay, what did I wear to Juyeon’s fourteenth birthday party then?”

Your hand moved to hold your forehead. “Changmin, how the fuck am I supposed to remember that.”

“THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YN WOULD SAY!”

“THAT’S BECAUSE I AM YN, YOU IDIOT.”

When Changmin doubled over himself in laughter, your lips settled into a thin line. He thunked his mug onto the counter with a concerningly loud crash so he could brace himself against something with one hand. (Maybe he really was going insane.)

You fixed him with a look. “Are you done messing around, Ji Changmin?”

His eyes, squinting from all his laughter and the biggest grin on his face, twinkled from where he peered over the counter at you. The sight almost brought a smile back to your face. “You’re just fun to mess with, Yn-ie.”

———

Reality came crashing down on Changmin in as little as five minutes.

“So… you’re a ghost?”

This time, when he posed the question, it was smaller and mellow, his body settled onto the couch with his legs pulled up to his chest as he peered up at you through watery eyes and a childlike disposition. Gana had retreated into his bedroom to snuggle into his bedsheets, leaving only you and Changmin in the main living space. You were perched on the wooden coffee table across from where he sat on the couch. You didn’t have it in you to be annoyed at him when he looked so… looked so unlike himself. This wasn’t the Changmin you knew before: ballsy, smiley, unafraid. There was something so blanched about him, like he was washed over in some kind of filter. It was unnerving.

You bit your upper lip, hands drumming against your legs. “Yeah.”

He stared at you for a moment, then pointed at the TV remote next to you. “Move that.”

“Pardon?”

“Move it,” he repeated.

You moved it.

“Why aren’t you just phasing through shit if you’re a ghost?” He asked, hands tightening around his knees.

His logic, or well—some semblance of logic—was trying to help him process this, that much you understood. “I don’t know,” you admitted. “I was literally just manifested here.”

“So you know you’re dead?”

You nodded. “I don’t know how long I’ve been dead for—”

“Three weeks and four days,” he blurted. He averted his gaze for a moment and picked at a stray thread on the couch. “Three weeks… and four days.”

And suddenly, you felt as though you reflected how he looked right now: eyes shining, frown engraved into your face. Your body went numb from the shock and the sudden realization that he had been counting. You swallowed. How were you supposed to comfort him through your own death?

“Can I hug you?”

Your head perked up and you met his small gaze again. You nodded. “Yeah,” you cleared your throat and held out your palms like an offering, “yeah, c’mere, Kyu.”

At the sound of his nickname, he practically pounced across the gap between you two, and into your arms. You were able to grab hold of him and keep your own body upright, and you felt him fist the material of your shirt in his hands as he sobbed into your chest. He could feel you, all of you—could smell your shampoo, feel the warmth of your neck. He could squeeze and grapple onto you as if you were truly here. God, what he would have given to hug you one last time. His knees were definitely bruised from how hard he hit the floor, but he had slid down far enough that he was clinging onto and crying into your stomach, all while one of your arms came around his top half and the other settled comfortably in the nest of his hair.

“I—” he blubbered into your dampened shirt, “—I missed you so much, Yn. I missed you so bad. I—I can’t—I don’t even know what to do without you. I missed you so, so badly.”

You squeezed him a little harder and leaned down to lay your body over his. “God, I’m sorry, Kyu. I missed you, too. You’ll be okay, hm? You’re gonna be okay.”

He shook his head against you in insistent refusal. “Mm-mm. No. Can’t do this fucking shit without you—can’t do this ‘live your life’ shit without my—my best friend.” He wasn’t even sure how he could manage to get words out. Even if he had known he would be given the opportunity to speak to you one last time, he wouldn’t ever be able to settle on the right words to tell you. This moment was no different. All that spilled from his mouth was nothing short of the truth, though.

———

Hours later, you and Changmin laid on the length of the couch with his face tucked into your neck and his body lying atop yours. You’d coaxed him to move with you onto the couch, knowing that his legs were probably screaming in agony for being pressed against the hardwood floor. He hadn’t said anything for a long time; only deigning to lay there in silence as he assured himself that you really were a solid mass beneath him. He came to realize one thing in particular, however—you lacked a heartbeat.

Everything about you seemed perfectly and incredibly human, except for that fact. He felt no pulse aching from where he nestled by your jugular. All of those crime dramas he’d spent hours upon hours watching with you had come in handy in learning how to feel for pulses. He tried to get past the fact that you didn’t have one; after all, you were dead.

His fingers wrapped around a strand of your hair, and he voiced a thought aloud, “Did they lock you out of heaven or something?”

Your laugh came out like a snort. “If anything, I was booted from hell.”

“Wow, so you died and gained a sense of humor.”

You flicked his forehead, and Changmin grinned, rubbing the spot. “Ow. Rude.”

“Bet you wish I could phase through things now, huh?”

He turned his face into your neck again and his voice came out nasally, “That would have been cooler.”

You huffed indignantly. “Don’t think I didn’t miss your little shrine of me, Mr. Cool Guy.”

Changmin groaned and hid his burning face from you. It was suddenly far too hot in this room, and your laughter was a little too bright to be a good representation of the dead. He grunted. “You died, Yn. What was I supposed to do?”

“You kept Bruno for me though,” you said with a soft sort of smile as you ran your fingers through his hair, making eye contact with the angry, little red t-rex plush sitting on the table by the TV. “He seems to like it here.”

“Do you like it here?” He asked then. “I mean, why are you here, Yn-ie? If—if you’re real, then why are you in the land of the living and fully corporeal?” He braced himself on the sides of the couch then so he could push up. When his eyes clashed with yours, he realized just how close your faces were, and reddened, immediately spacing himself from you to the other end of the couch.

You frowned slightly at the action, but thought nothing of it as you shifted to match his seated position. “I’m not sure. I just remember the accident, the world fading to black, and now…” You gestured to yourself and all around you. “Now I’m here.”

“How do you know things though? Like, how do you know you’re a ghost? How do you know you’ve been dead?”

You could only shrug. “Injected into my brain? Can’t really answer that, Changmin.”

Changmin raked a hand through his hair, licking his lips. “Okay, well you had to have been brought back here for a reason right? Maybe to right a wrong? Something you have to finish or satisfy before you’re allowed into the afterlife or whatever comes after death,” he reasoned with his hands gesticulating madly like flapping wings.

“I know that I have seven days,” you offered.

The world crumbled and the blood drained from his face. “Seven days?” He whispered.

You nodded solemnly. “Just one of those things,” your tone went quiet like an apology, “I guess.”

Changmin’s eyes shuddered. Seven days. Seven days. Seven… okay, he could do this. Seven days to think of all the things he was supposed to say to you and to finally say them. And also, to figure out why you were sent here in the first place. Who knew what would happen to you if you weren’t able to accomplish whatever goal you were supposed to reach? He couldn’t bear the thought.

“Okay,” he managed to say.

“Well, I know where we should start,” you suggested with the slight lift of your shoulder.

He glanced at you in waiting.

“We need to clean this messy ass apartment up.”

DAY TWO

CHANGMIN couldn’t possibly sleep when he knew you were just waltzing about the apartment throughout the night. You had assured him that, as a ghost, you didn’t need to sleep, nor eat, nor breathe, nor shower, nor do anything else of the normal human sort. Yet he laid awake in bed, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. Even Gana was fast asleep, curled up at the foot of his bed.

The two of you had spent the entirety of yesterday cleaning up his dump of an apartment. You’d said something about how “spring cleaning isn’t just a spring thing” and handed him a duster. He’d gone along with it, even moving to eventually start playing some music to fill the noise. It was just nice to be in your presence for once.

Even when you were alive, you’d encourage him to clean; maybe even pick up around the place for him when he was too tired from dance practice and his job and his life. But there was no doubt that cleaning around the apartment space made him feel just a little bit refreshed, a little more alive and awake.

But clearly, all that work hadn’t been enough to tire him out.

And he tried to fall asleep, but sleep would not grace him with its mercy.

It was when the sky outside oxidized into a rusted color that his eyelids finally fell. He blinked once, and the next moment, his alarm blared beside him.

An arm shook him awake. “Kyu, wake up.”

He whined, shaking you away. “Nooo,” he groaned and tugged the covers back over his head. The alarm kept going.

“I made coffee.”

He exhaled through his nose and reluctantly pulled the covers down to see you. You were still here, sitting on the edge of his bed in that same, old ratty T-shirt with your hair falling in your eyes, and a sweet, fond smile on your face… “It wasn’t all a dream?” He pondered aloud, voice gravely from exhaustion.

You shook your head. “Nope. Now, get up. Time to go to school.”

At that note, he let out a loud groan, sweeping the covers over his head in protest. You laughed as you exited the room, and Changmin could only smile to himself as he let that sound echo in his ears.

———

“Do I really have to go to class, Yn-ie? It’s Tuesday.”

You sent him a look as you strolled beside him on the sidewalk. “Yes, because it’s Tuesday.”

Changmin pursed his lips as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. While you were able to get him out of bed, you weren’t able to get him to at least look more Changmin. That was, he still walked out of the house in a hoodie and pajama pants and zero product in his hair. You did manage to convince him to slap on deodorant, so you could call that a win.

The sky was just bruising to a purple color as the sun took its sweet time trekking up into its perch in the sky. Changmin knew he shouldn’t have chosen such an early lecture, but he and Juyeon were supposed to weather it together. Guilt suddenly swirled in his stomach at the thought—he’d abandoned Juyeon.

His eyes flickered back at you and your bare arms, wondering if ghosts got cold. But based on the fact you hadn’t stolen a hoodie from his closet, he figured they didn’t then.

As you and Changmin neared the lecture hall, having well stepped onto the college campus for the first time in a month, you both stalled. There were a handful of people milling about, but most of them were too tired to care about other people just standing around anyway.

“Okay,” you began, “remember that when you get in there, you can’t talk to me or about me.”

His breath hitched. “Why can’t I talk about you?”

“Because they’ll think you’ve gone crazy.”

“But I haven’t.”

You chewed your upper lip. “You can see me, Changmin, but they can’t. People are going to look at you weird if you suddenly turn to your side and start talking to the air next to you.”

So that was how ghosts worked? He had to snap his brain into focus. “People already look at me weird,” he muttered, staring across at the path to the entrance of the lecture hall. He could still recall all of the pitying looks he’d received everywhere he went. He couldn’t stomach it anymore. Everyone knew that you and he had been the best of friends, practically attached at the hip. You would sit with him through hours of dance practice and be the loudest one in the audience; he would remind you to get sleep during your worst exam seasons and shuttle you home after late nights at the lab.

His eyes shuttered, and for a moment, that wave of guilt washed over him. He should have been there that night; he should’ve been there to take you home—

A hand on his arm. He sniffed, swiping at his eye. “I’m okay,” he insisted before you could say anything.

He began making his way towards the entrance with you in tow.

When he found the lecture room number, he stopped just short of it. Those feelings of insecurity and fear bubbled up inside of him like bile in his throat. He wanted to turn back and run to the safety and seclusion of his apartment.

But when he felt your hand take his and give it a gentle squeeze, his heart swelled. He glanced back at you, then his eyes widened when he saw someone coming down the corridor. Changmin ducked into the lecture hall, his hand gripping yours tightly.

There were… way too may seats and people, he realized, as he surveyed the room. A couple people recognized him and shot him surprised glances, but otherwise, no one paid him much attention. The lights were dimmed to half-brightness, and the professor had yet to arrive.

“Go sit next to Juyo,” you whispered to him, nudging him toward the left stairs. Up in one of the middle rows sat Juyeon with a hood pulled up over his head, practically nodding off to sleep. “He looks so sad all alone.”

Changmin sucked in a breath, then made the journey up the stairs.

He cleared his throat when he reached Juyeon’s seat, the one beside him always left empty in case Changmin ever did show up to class. Juyeon’s head shot up, and his eyes widened to the size of saucers, a grin slowly forming on his face. Changmin let a small, dimpled smile come to his face.

“I think I’m dreaming, dude,” Juyeon said. “Good to have you back, Changmin-ah.”

Changmin let out the breath he had been holding. “This seat’s not taken, is it?”

Juyeon gave a hard shake of his head. “I’d make a joke about it being some other guy’s, but I’m way too tired. Sit down, for God’s sake.”

Changmin lowered himself into the seat next to his friend, letting go of your hand so he could get settled. He almost turned his head to ask where you were going to sit, but reigned in the urge. He could talk to you afterward, no matter how much he wanted to talk to you now, maybe even ask Juyeon to move down a seat for you.

But then he felt your presence right next to him as you perched on the side of his chair’s armrest. No, you weren’t going anywhere just yet.

About an hour later though, Changmin and Juyeon trudged out of the lecture hall side by side, hands lifting to shield their eyes from the sunlight peeking through the clouds. They had managed to drag each other through the contents of that lecture—mainly Juyeon giving Changmin miniature summary lectures on the points that he didn’t know (everything). No new information from that lecture had been acquired.

“—you should’ve seen when we got our papers back,” Juyeon shook his head with a breathy laugh tumbling out of his mouth. He brushed a hand through his hair, squinting at the daylight. “Absolute madhouse. Professor had to extend his office hours because the line out of his office was so long.”

Changmin smiled widely. “I really should go to office hours, huh? That would be the smart thing to do.”

“You know, I tell myself that everyday, and yet…” Juyeon shrugged. “I never heed my own advice.”

When the two of them reached the intersection where you and Changmin had stood at just earlier this morning, Changmin’s head perked up, eyes searching for you. At some point, it had slipped his mind that you were in lecture with him, and you hadn’t done or said anything to make him remember. He looked across the street though and relief soared through him when he spotted you seated on a bench waiting for him.

Juyeon followed his gaze curiously, but thought better than to question the soft-cornered smile on his friend’s face. “Hey, uhm, did you feel up to having lunch with me and the others today? I’ve gotta go to my social justice lecture right now, but we’re hitting the new ramen place in the district at like, one, I think.”

Changmin snapped back to reality. “Oh, uh…” His eyes drifted back to you, but you were looking elsewhere at a couple who were passing by walking their pups. His foot tapped against the ground as he seesawed between options. Did he feel up to it?

“You don’t have to if you want to go home,” Juyeon assured him with a sympathetic smile. “You should go home and rest.”

Changmin licked his lips. A part of him realized that he was glad Juyeon had been the one to say it. “Sorry, I just…”

“Hey, today was a lot. Don’t sweat it, okay?” Juyeon then gently patted Changmin’s arm with his hand as he turned to head down the road toward his next class. “See you later?”

“Yeah, see you, Ju.”

Something poked at the back of Changmin’s mind as he ducked his head slightly and bounded across the street to where you were seated. He lifted his hand in a subtle wave to you, then nodded toward the road back to his apartment to make a more natural course of action for any onlookers. You fell into step beside him as easily as breathing air.

“How come you didn’t want to go have lunch with the guys?” You piped up.

“Huh? Oh.” Changmin kicked a pebble on the road with the side of his shoe and watched it bounce into the grass next to the sidewalk. “I wanted to spend time with you—Wait, you heard that conversation?”

You tapped the side of your head as if that was enough of an explanation to his question, then moved on. “But you get to spend time with me whenever you’re at the apartment. How long has it been since you last hung out with them?”

“Two days ago, actually. The night before you showed up, we had dinner.”

“Did you enjoy it?” You asked.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, stopping at the traffic intersection to wait for the walking sign to turn on. “I mean, yeah. Yes, I did. I just—afterwards—it was…” He could hear his own sobbing echo in his head, and as if he had projected those memories into your head or as if you could read his mind, your expression grew somber. Changmin’s voice quieted, for fear that adding volume would push out the emotions all over again. “It was really hard, Yn. All I did was cry when I got back.”

You moved closer to him and offered your hand to him. The crosswalk symbol lit up white, and Changmin took your hand as the two of you made your way across the street. “I’m sorry,” was all you could manage to say.

“‘s not your fault,” he replied. He couldn't possibly blame you for your own accidental death. You hadn’t forced that guy to get drunk and drive down that specific road. You had no choice in your death, and for some reason, that made Changmin’s chest hurt just a little more. “I liked having dinner with them and I think I genuinely laughed and smiled for the first time in a while, too, but I just…”

He grappled for the words, unable to admit the truth aloud.

“Kyu-ah,” you said to him, hand-holding shifting to you holding onto his upper arm so the two of you walked closer in a half-embrace. “You can be happy. You’re allowed to feel these things, and you’re allowed to smile and laugh.”

He shook his head, his head tilting back as his eyes closed. The prickling sensation had come back and goddamn it, he didn’t want to cry again. He had to make it back to the apartment at least. “Not without you.”

You frowned, but kept quiet until the two of you reached Changmin’s apartment. He dumped his shoes at the door, backpack thumping to the floor, body crashing onto the couch. You settled down onto the cushion next to him, and he nestled his head onto your shoulder.

“Kyu, can you do something for me?”

He hummed, arms encircling your arm like you had done to him on the walk back. “Anything.”

“Will you go to lunch with Juyeon, Kevin, and Chanhee? Will you at least try for me?”

Changmin stared at your portrait, the one across from his eyes on that little table by the TV. Yours and his smiles were a reflection of each other, framed in eternity behind that clear plastic. He gulped. “Okay. I will.”

DAY THREE

LUNCH yesterday went perfectly well, mainly because you stood behind Changmin’s chair the entire time with your hand on his shoulder to assure him that you were still present and “hanging out” with all of them, too. You appreciated the thought, but you appreciated seeing and hearing him happy. Even if it was at poor Chanhee’s expense (he really had dug himself into a hole when he confessed his crush on one of his peers at the university’s magazine association). It was nice to see everyone, too, of course, even if they weren’t aware that you were watching over them with a fond gaze. As a ghost, you could still feel emotions—that was why you were so human to Changmin, but there was still a sense of ease about you.

When Changmin had finished with his classes for today, you and he lingered in the kitchen while he heated up a pot of ramen on the stove. You hopped onto the counter, arm resting comfortably around his shoulders.

“I’ve connected the dots,” he said suddenly.

“You’ve connected shit.”

He scoffed with a feigned look of offense directed up at you as he pressed his hand to his chest. “Okay, rude! Death has given you so much audacity.”

Your lips curled up into a little smirk. “It’s just an instinct when it comes to you.”

Changmin rolled his eyes. “Whatever. As I was saying, I think I know why you were kicked from the underworld.”

“You say that like the underworld’s an online forum,” you huffed, chuckling. When the pot reached a low boiling point, you tapped him on the shoulder to spur him into action, and he reacted like second nature, even if he had seen that it was ready anyway.

“Hey, I mean, if I had an online forum, I’d kick you out, too.” He giggled as you gently kicked the side of his butt with your foot. “Remember when we were eleven and we thought Omegle was the greatest thing of our naive lives?”

You hummed in content remembrance. “Mhm. Man, we were stupid. But that was a lot of fun.”

He grinned at you over his shoulder. “Wasn’t it?” When he turned back to the pot, he realized how hard his smile pulled at his cheeks. This wouldn’t be forever. Today was day three, and he was already growing used to your presence again—for a split second, panic seized his heart and the smile slipped into the simmering ring of bubbles in the ramen pot.

Changmin cleared his throat. “So what I was saying earlier.”

You blinked at his sudden change of tone. “What about it?”

“Maybe you were sent back here on a mission or a task. You probably have to right some kind of wrong—or, or—or figure out your death?” He whipped out a bowl from a cabinet. “So what did you do wrong, Yn-ie?”

You smiled, amused. “How long do we have?”

He shook his head with a chuckle. “You’re so silly. You were the goodiest-two-shoes of all goodie-two-shoes.”

You scoffed. “Not true.”

“Oh, yes, true,” he quipped with a smug grin. He leaned back against the counter to face you with a full bowl of noodles in his palm. “The guilt after you snuck out with me ate you up alive—”

“Because I broke my parents’ trust!” You sputtered out in protest. You thrusted an accusing finger in his face that only sent him into further fits of laughter. “You’re so lucky I didn’t spill to your parents, Ji Changmin! You should be on your knees because I begged my mom and dad not to tell your parents!”

Changmin had to hold his chopsticks in front of his mouth to keep the food from flying from his mouth. You were fired up, yet all he could see was how the kitchen lights framed your face like a halo. Once the food had been swallowed, he replied, “I feel like I just have to ask: you weren’t a serial killer, were you? Since we’re on the topic of all your wrongdoings.”

Your eyes widened, and in that moment, he knew he was screwed. “Ji. Changmin.”

He giggled. “Don’t hurt me?”

You huffed, nose twitching and wrinkling. “You are so lucky I’m a good ghost.”

The reminder sobered him up a little. “Yeah…” He said quietly.

Silence descended between the two of you as you refrained from saying anything else, so Changmin could finish eating. You hopped off of the counter and went to go find Gana, who was sleeping in Changmin’s bed again. Changmin was left to his noodles and thoughts, his stare blank and spaced out with his mind far off. If you truly had been sent back in order to right a wrong, or even figure out something about your death, then where would he start? Where would you be expected to start if you didn’t have him to help you?

When you were still alive, he was aware of a few nasty people in your lives who weren’t exactly fond of the relationship you two shared, but as far as Changmin knew, their feelings weren’t malicious to the point of death.

Changmin swallowed a bite he was chewing on, mouth slowing as if his train of thought had just eased into the station. All mysteries began from the end, didn’t they? All detectives had to start their investigation from the scene of the crime, whatever that may be when put into context. His hands began to tremble as a thought occurred to him. Clutching the bottom of the bowl and his chopsticks harder to stop the shaking, Changmin forced himself to admit what he didn’t want to.

You emerged from his bedroom cradling Gana in your arms, and when your eyes fell upon Changmin’s grave expression, you couldn’t help but coax an answer from him.

He couldn’t meet your eyes. “I think… we have to go to the site of the accident.”

———

On the night of the Accident, you had been walking home with crisp night air nipping at your nose, your cheeks, your resolve. It hadn’t necessarily been the worst of nights at your shift, but it hadn’t been on the better side of them either. Earlier that day, Changmin had nearly collapsed from exhaustion on the way home, so you insisted on walking home alone. It wasn’t like he could refuse when he pretty much knocked out as soon as his head hit his pillow; plus, your pepper spray made for decent company. You hadn’t anticipated the driver, the screaming tire wheels, the blinding lights. After all, how could you have?

The corner of two streets on the opposite side of campus from where Changmin lived was pindrop quiet. There was one large, framed portrait of you seated against the fence, surrounded by a litter of flowers, tealights, plush toys, and other offerings to the dead. One of your friends from an art class you’d taken in freshman year had made you a sign and nailed it above your picture: In fond and loving memory of Yn Ln—beautiful, beloved, and a heart of gold. May she rest in peace.

Changmin couldn’t move.

He’d been staring at it all for about ten minutes now, shaky hands hidden in the pockets of his hoodie. The last time he’d been here was four weeks ago, in the ungodly hours of the morning, as he chased after your body in a bag, tears flying from his eyes like gushing streams. The red and blue sirens flashed in his eyes and pulsed like heartbeats; his own heartbeat deafened out everything else and thundered in his ears.

Just like now. He… he couldn’t think—couldn’t process anything. He couldn’t turn himself to the street where your broken, lifeless body had laid.

Your smiling portrait glowed in the dim, flickering lights of the tea candles, similar to the very set up he had at home.

For the longest time, he was never able to bring himself to come here. He couldn’t have, of course, he couldn’t have. He didn’t have the stomach to.

Oh my god, he was going to throw up—

“Changmin, hey—hey, buddy. You’re gonna be okay.”

You appeared at his side, hands grabbing out to hold onto his lurching body. He stumbled into you, grappling at your hands, arms, shoulders—anything to anchor him to something. He couldn’t breathe—

“Changmin, look at me! Look at me.”

Your hands forced his head up and his eyes gleamed silver in the gold tea light glow. You had never seen him so afraid. “Inhale, exhale for me. Inhale… exhale… come on; one more time, hon: inhale… exhale… good. Good. That’s really good, Kyu, that’s it.”

Changmin’s entire body trembled as he gripped your hands until, even as a ghost, you could feel his strength. His chest rose and fell at a slower pace now, and the blanched, blankness had melted away into a contorted expression of rage, sadness, panic, and every other emotion in between. Tears cascaded down the slopes of his cheeks in a free fall. “I should have been there, Yn,” were his first words to you, choked out between gritted teeth.

You realized that his anger was not directed toward anyone else but himself at this moment. You held him, mirrored his strength, so he knew he was holding something solid. You murmured firmly, but not unkindly, “Changmin, you couldn’t have changed what hap—”

“Yes, I could have.” He wailed now, his heart-wrenching loathing toward himself echoing against the surrounding buildings, “If I had just been there to walk you home…” You would still be alive, was what he didn’t have the strength to say aloud. To give the world such power over him… as if it didn’t already have him by his neck.

He crumpled to the concrete, his knees buckling from under him, and you could do nothing but fall to the ground with him. You cradled him to your chest as he bawled his entire body out, his conscience no doubt throwing rocks at himself. Your mouth parted, eyes squinting as if you were about to cry, too. And you felt the sensation at the corners of your eyes, and yet, no tears fell from your tear glands. They would not come, no matter how much you wished them to.

Changmin’s arms wrapped around your waist as he tucked himself into you. If he could just—if he could just hold on—if he could just make this right—

Your hand smoothed over the back of his head. “Changmin, it was not your fault. None of it was your fault, so please—please don’t spend your life blaming yourself for something you could not control.”

He pawed at his face, swiped at his eyes, his nose. He sucked in a desperate breath of air, gasping and choking out the words, “I can’t—can’t believe that—that I—I’ll never see you again. The—the world lost you—I lost you too soon.” He gasped for air again: “It’s not fair.”

None of it was fair. Changmin didn’t deserve to feel any of this and you didn’t deserve to die so young. But here the two of you were, a heap of emotions and injustice. Of longing and grief. What might have blossomed to something else in the future had been cut short by the cruel hand of fate. Why had the world set this in motion? What had either of you done to deserve such hurt?

You cleared your congested throat from unshed tears. “I know it’s not fair, but I’m never truly lost.”

Changmin pulled away from you then, still actively trying to tame the emotion rolling down his face. He glared at you then through blurry eyes. Such pain in his contorted features; you hated seeing him so hurt and being so useless to help him. “Cut the sentimental, cliche crap,” he practically snarled. “Please, you know me better than that. I never get why people say shit like that because that’s not how it goes, that’s not how it feels. It’s not the fucking same.”

Your mouth went dry. He was right, and how could you counter that? You weren’t the one who had to live without him now. “You’re right; I’m sorry.”

He was breathing loudly now, more labored. His rage dulled to something of a soft simmer as it dawned on him what he just said. “Wait—I’m sorry. You… you shouldn’t be the one apologizing, Yn. You didn’t deserve that from me.”

“I think I did deserve it,” you shrugged simply, sadly. Just because you were dead didn’t mean you couldn’t be sorry. “And I think you deserved to air that out.”

He sniffed and pulled his knees to his chest. He huffed out an exhale. “I’m sorry, it’s just been a lot.”

You nodded, expression solemn. “And I’m sorry that you’re hurting so badly. I wish I could make everything better.” What was the point of you being here if you were just hurting Changmin more?

Changmin let out another sharp exhale. Slowly, he extended his hand across the gap between you. His fingers still trembled, but he no longer tried to subdue it. “Can I just hold your hand again?” His volume was set almost inaudibly, “Just to assure myself I haven’t been dreaming?”

Everything, you wished you could give him everything. Without hesitation, you bridged the gap and grappled onto his fingers, felt the heat of his palm, and reminded him that you were here.

DAY FOUR

YOU almost couldn’t convince Changmin to go to classes the next day. Almost.

You’d sent him off even as he drooped with his two shots of espresso and puffy eyelids, but he seemed content enough to let you hold his hand all throughout the day. Maybe even tap his shoulder a couple of times to remind him that you were there and that he needed to pay attention. Well, you’d only accomplished such feats because you agreed to his compromise.

“Changmin, you can’t get in without a lab pass.”

Said compromise was chasing after something you were certain didn’t truly exist, but Changmin was set on the idea that you were sent back to the land of the living to “right a wrong”, and he was on a mission to help you accomplish just that.

Changmin stood outside the laboratory building you used to work at with a cinematically narrow-eyed, hands-on-hips pose. He stared up at the looming building, nestled between the massive, glass-faced population health building and the vine-riddled biology buildings as if he could climb up all their stairways without breaking a sweat. “I know, but I’m sure we’ll bump into someone who we can just leech off of to get inside.”

In other words, he would make you both wait until someone came by to open the door and you would then follow them inside. At first listen, it wasn’t an impossible task, especially since this area was relatively populated during business hours. Only, it seemed that the street seemed comically barren. Wherever all your former peers were, you had zero clue.

You pursed your lips and took a seat down on the curb. “Do you even have a plan?”

Changmin poked his tongue in the side of his cheek. “Ha, do I have a plan?”

“Sooo you don’t have a plan; got it—”

“Sh,” he said, turning around to peer inside the glass door of the laboratory building, “someone’s coming!”

You twisted around, silently questioning who?, but as soon as you saw who was making their way toward the entrance of the building, you immediately bobbed your head. This made sense.

Because making his way toward the door from the inside was Lee Sangyeon, your workaholic, grad student supervisor. As usual, he wore a dress shirt appropriate for an office space, hair swept back neatly. In his hands was his phone, while a dark leather satchel bag hung from his shoulder. He glanced up from his phone as he pushed the door open, then started when he realized Changmin was just… there.

“Oh. Sorry, didn’t see you there,” Sangyeon said with a polite smile.

“Uh—wait,” Changmin stammered, effectively halting Sangyeon’s movements. “You’re Lee Sangyeon, right?”

Your eyes widened. “You know Sangyeon?”

Changmin flicked his hand by his leg subtly to gesture at you to wait.

Sangyeon angled his body toward Changmin now, the tilt of his eyebrows curious. “Yeah, that’s me. Can I help you with something?”

Changmin fidgeted with his fingers and rocked on his heels. “Uhm, you were a friend of Yn Ln’s, right? I’m Ji Changmin, she was my best friend.”

At the sound of your name, recognition and something melancholy smoothed over Sangyeon’s features. “Ah, nice to finally meet you, Changmin. Yn-ie used to talk about you all the time.”

“She did?”

“No, I didn’t!” You buried your face into your hands as embarrassment curled in your stomach. “Sangyeon has become a chronic liar, I see!”

Another flicking of Changmin’s fingers. Hush, you! “I actually wanted to talk to you,” Changmin said slowly, “about her. I… I’m trying to uh, piece together some parts of her life, y’know. And I know I wasn’t really able to get to know this aspect of her life much when she was alive, and I thought, better late than never.”

You settled your chin onto your knees. Even if you knew Changmin had an ulterior motive in mind, you couldn’t help but hear the truth laced in his words. Even if he was chasing after this “wrong that needed righting”, there was that twinge of desperation locked in his voice that you couldn’t shake.

“Ah.” Sangyeon nodded. “Well, I’d be happy to talk to you about her. Do you wanna come with me down the road? There’s a pretty neat little coffee place we could sit in.”

You knew this coffee place, you thought to yourself as you followed Sangyeon and Changmin down the road to said coffee shop. It was the place you ran to during dinner breaks and last minute caffeine pick-me-ups. Their banana bread was fantastic, and your mouth watered as you could practically taste it while walking in.

Once the boys were settled at a table, a cup of coffee each, you leaned against the window behind Changmin’s chair, arms crossed and eyes pinned to the steam rising from Sangyeon’s cup.

“I’m sorry for your loss, by the way,” Sangyeon said quietly, sincerely. “I mean, she was important to me, but she must have been so much more to you.”

Changmin gestured vaguely, half-heartedly. His chuckle was the same way. “You don’t have to do that; she’s—was—she was important to both of us.” He nursed his coffee cup between his palms. “Sorry, it’s taken me a while to get the courage to talk about her to anyone but my dog.”

Sangyeon’s eyes shone with that characteristic warmth and patience that made you long for the life you didn’t have anymore. “I… I get that. It’s really tough dealing with the death of a loved one, especially when people expect you to move on with your life.”

Changmin’s head bobbed up and down earnestly. “It really is. It’s so, god, it’s so hard to move on.” He drummed his fingers along the sides of his coffee cup. “Uhm, but I guess I wanted to start with how you knew her—as in, like who did you know her as?”

“Who did I know her as?” Sangyeon sighed, eyebrows furrowing in thought as he grappled for the adequate way to string those thoughts into words. “Well, she was brilliant. She was more than brilliant; she was passionate about what she did. You could see the bags under her eyes and sometimes I knew she took naps in the break room, but…” He blew out a puff of air, his cheek pressed against his fist and coffee forgotten. He lifted his right shoulder in some semblance of a shrug. “I admired her a lot. I didn’t get to work a lot of shifts with her that… that week, but she left these little post-it notes on the break room door with smiley-faces and encouraging messages for everyone to find the next day.”

This time, when you settled your hand on Changmin’s shoulder, it wasn’t for Changmin. Changmin reached up to put his hand over yours, but to anyone else it would look like he was simply holding his shoulder and tucking his chin into his elbow. “Sounds like Yn-ie,” he chimed in softly.

Sangyeon smiled, a breathy laugh following suit. “She was—she shined so bright, Changmin-ah. But I’m guessing you already knew that, huh? She talked about you a lot. She would hear something or do something that reminded her of you, and then she would mention you with that little twinkle in her eyes. The one where she gets all—y’know.”

Changmin inclined his head and felt himself smile. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”

A nod. “Yeah. I was kind of surprised that you didn’t introduce yourself as her former partner. I mean, the way she looked when she talked about you…” He shook his head and reached for his coffee cup. “God, sorry. This is probably making you really uncomfortable.”

You lost your breath. Or whatever you had left of it.

Changmin’s thumb brushed over the back of your knuckles. You didn’t know what it meant, didn’t know what he was thinking. You knew you talked about Changmin a lot, but you figured that everyone would assume it was normal because he was your closest friend. Perhaps you had been a little more obvious than you had intended.

“It’s all right,” Changmin replied. You wished you could see his face. “I think a lot of people saw us that way.”

———

Sangyeon’s cup clattered hollowly as it tumbled into the recycling bin on his and Changmin’s way out of the coffee shop. The sky had broiled to a molten gold while the sun began its descent into the folds of the horizon.

Changmin stepped out into the cool afternoon feeling like a weight had been lifted from his chest. There was something refreshing about hearing about you from someone else, as fondly as he saw you. He and Sangyeon had even shared a couple favorite moments of yours; Changmin kept his favorite of all favorites to himself though, of course. Some memories, he wanted to be selfish with. Tears had been shed, too, but a minimal amount. Changmin wasn’t one to cry to strangers, but Sangyeon wasn’t exactly a stranger anymore, was he?

Sangyeon lingered on the sidewalk. “It was really nice talking to you, Changmin-ah. I really needed that, I think.”

Changmin nodded his head. “Me too. Thanks for not being weird about it.”

“Bare minimum, man,” Sangyeon chuckled. He took his phone out of his pocket and offered the new contact space to Changmin. “Hey, maybe we can trade numbers? Any friend of Yn-ie’s is a friend of mine. If you need anything, Changmin, and I truly mean it, don’t hesitate to call or text.”

Changmin accepted the phone from him with his eyes wide like a doe’s. He hoped Sangyeon could see all the gratitude in his silver-lined eyes. “Thank you,” he said in earnest. “I—same to you.” He swiftly put his contact information into Sangyeon’s phone before returning the device to its owner.

Sangyeon mustered up a kind smile, clasping a warm, reassuring hand on Changmin’s shoulder. “Stay strong. You’ll get through this; I know you can.”

Oh god, there was that prickling sensation again. Changmin could only manage a nod without breaking down right then and there in the middle of the walkway. Sangyeon seemed to understand, and took his leave.

Changmin stood there watching his back go farther and farther away.

For a moment, he let himself stand there in silence, soaking in everything that had just passed between him and Lee Sangyeon. He sniffled, knuckles pressing against his nose. “He’s a really cool guy,” he finally said with his words directed toward you.

You were leaning up against the outer facade of the coffee shop, uncertain as to what your role was supposed to be. You felt like you were intruding, like you really were just a ghost now. That you were just a spectator. There was definitely something beautiful about watching two important people in your past life starting a bond, but then… then there was something bittersweet about it, too. “He is,” you agreed.

Changmin hung his head, then raised it up with a tired, dimpled smile. “Let’s go home.”

DAY FIVE

TODAY, Chanhee was the one who got Changmin out of the apartment.

“—I even got Gana a play date—”

Changmin’s neck stuck out from his bathroom, toothbrush hanging from between his teeth. “Huh?!”

Even you spared a laugh from where you were sitting cross-legged on the kitchen counter. It was a comical sight for Changmin, seeing that you were making weird, funny faces at the back of Chanhee’s head from where he sat on the couch with Ghana curled up in his lap.

Chanhee nodded enthusiastically. “Yup. Him and my friend Younghoon’s dog Bori. He’s taking them to a dog park nearby.”

Changmin’s eyes narrowed. “So you set up Gana on a blind date?”

“You’re so overprotective, Changmin-ah. Yes, it’s a blind date.” Chanhee waved his hand at Changmin. “Now hurry up! Juyeon and Kevin are already at the performing arts building trying to score a studio!”

Changmin huffed, but stalked back into the bathroom. “Fine.”

While Changmin was finishing up getting himself ready, Chanhee gently removed Ghana from his lap so he could trudge over to the little table beside the TV. You watched him quietly as he knelt in front of it, poked your T-rex plushie, then gave your portrait a small wave.

You craned your head, attempting to see what he was doing. He had picked up one of the tea lights that went dim, most likely from overuse and a dead battery. Chanhee set it back down on the table though.

“Hi, Yn-ie,” you heard him greet your photo. “I see Changmin has dedicated a corner to you, as he should.” Chanhee was silent for a moment, and you thought that maybe he was only voicing his thoughts in his head now. Then he continued, “I miss you. We all miss you. Sometimes I dream about memories of you and it feels like déjà vu. We’ve been trying to help Changmin through this, but it’s been a little difficult getting through to him.”

Your chest tugged as Chanhee slumped his chin onto the ledge of the table. “I just wanna help him. I can see he’s hurting, but I’ve never been good at this stuff. Maybe you can send me a sign that I’m doing okay.”

The light to the bathroom clicked, and Chanhee murmured something else to your picture, blew you a kiss, then turned his head to watch Changmin sweep past him and into the bedroom.

“Let me grab my jacket and we can go!”

“Okay, you slowpoke,” Chanhee quipped, collapsing back onto the couch.

You hopped off from the kitchen counter and walked over toward the couch next to Chanhee. You called out to Gana, immediately garnering a response from the pup. Swiftly, you moved out of the way, hand gesturing to Chanhee on the couch.

As if Gana could read your mind, he leapt into Chanhee’s lap and licked a wet stripe up the man’s cheek.

Chanhee squealed in surprise, a laugh falling from his grinning smile. “Yah! You’re so full of energy this morning, hm? Well, save some for Bori later, okay?”

You smiled, watching the interaction and hoping that that might suffice as a sign.

Changmin hustled out of his room, and you came to the startling realization that he looked so… Changmin today. There was a glow about his cheeks now, the divots of his smile enunciated at the thought of dancing again. He wore something fashionable, as he had always once done, with his black athletic duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He met your gaze as he walked out and you shared a smile for a moment.

“I know I’m pretty, Changmin, but we’re going to be late,” Chanhee teased.

Both you and Changmin laughed, and the two of you followed Chanhee and Gana out to the car.

Gana had propped himself onto the center console of Chanhee’s silver Corolla, while Chanhee and Changmin took up the front two rows, and you sat in the backseat. You leaned your head against the back of Changmin’s seat and gazed out the window at the world passing you by, your hand reaching forward to hold onto Changmin’s.

Chanhee stopped at a nearby park, and after Changmin insisted he was going to stay in the car, Chanhee took Gana out to meet with this Younghoon character and his dog.

The car filled with silence for a beat as the two of you watched Chanhee walk up to a tall, lanky man with a pretty face and pretty pup.

“You haven’t danced since I died, have you?” You released the question into the world and confronted him with it.

Changmin swallowed, his fingers pressing into yours. “No.” In retrospect, maybe if he had continued to dance, he wouldn’t have been holed up at home. A flame in him had died the night you had, but the remaining embers were slowly catching fire again. They hadn’t been wholly swept out or quieted.

Chanhee skipped back over to the car with a boyish smile on his face and he crashed into his front seat with a laugh. “Okay, let’s go!”

The car was turned on, the radio resumed play.

———

Like any other day, especially Fridays, the performing arts building was abuzz with life. People, both solo and squadrons, came to and fro about the large, branching corridors. A smile crawled onto Changmin’s lips as he recalled the familiar route to the practice dance studios in the back half of the building. There was a bounce in his step now, hands gripping the strap of his duffle bag.

Chanhee nudged Changmin with the back of his hand, coughing not-so-quietly under his breath. “Incoming.”

Changmin perked up at the familiar warning. He hadn’t heard it in a little over a month, but the feeling of cold shivers down his arms was no stranger. And the group of girls making their way down the corridor toward them, having just finished with dance practice, were unfortunately no strangers either. Changmin’s mouth pressed into a firm line as he reached out beside him for your hand—fumbled around in the air as if you weren’t there for a second, then latched onto you.

“Changmin-ah!” One of them lit up at the sight of him, and the rest were set off like succeeding lines of firecrackers.

“Well, this should be good,” you mused next to him.

He snuck a glance at you from his periphery, spotted the carefully crafted mask on your face. Even in death, you were trying to put up a brave front.

He turned back to the front, and the group of girls had come closer. “Oh, uh, hi.”

“We haven’t seen you in so long! How have you been?”

“We missed you at the dance rehearsal last week, but we can definitely reschedule.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind doing a private—”

Changmin blinked. Did they not see how absolutely done he looked? Chanhee looked just about the same way, but he knew the drill; there wasn’t really anything either of them could do until they’d said whatever they said.

“—so sorry about her. It must have been so difficult for you to get through, Changmin-ah! But see, you must be all better now!”

He nearly doubled over in laughter. “You’re shitting me,” he said without stopping himself.

The girl who had been rambling on about your death and how it must have affected him, halted in her tracks. “Huh? What do you mean?”

Tongue in cheek, he shook his head. “No, whatever. Keep going. I wanna hear what you have to say.” The muscle in his jaw feathered and his grip on your hand tightened.

To the others’ credit, they tried subtly getting their friend to not take the bait, but she just couldn’t help herself. “Well, it’s no disrespect or anything, of course. But she was completely holding you back, y'know? She didn’t even know what to look for when she watched your practices and she just sat there like a duck, so I don’t know why you even asked her to come with you so often. I mean, you guys were friends—I get that—but we’re friends, too. I would’ve definitely been able to help you so much better.”

Well. That spelled it all out for Changmin in capital letters.

Chanhee arched an eyebrow high. “Wow, you’re a worse human being than I gave you credit for.”

“It’s funny how whenever people say they mean ‘no disrespect’, whatever they say is extremely disrespectful,” Changmin huffed. His eyes narrowed into daggers now, hands fisted. “You not only spat on my best friend, but also on me and my ability to choose friends. By the way, we are not friends, especially not when you shit on mine right in front of me. Dead or not.”

When a rush of silence fell over the corridor, Changmin muttered, “Thought so,” then nudged Chanhee. “Come on, Chanhee. Let’s go.”

When the two boys brushed past the girls, Changmin finally breathed out.

When he no longer felt your hand, his head whipped around the corridor, searching for you—

“Changmin, the room’s this way.”

He coughed. “Oh, uh, right.” His eyes swiveled about the corridor once more, frowning when he caught you slipping into the practice room right behind Chanhee.

The practice room was dimly lit with the far wall lined with mirrors and a barre, floors made of a smooth hardwood. Kevin and Juyeon were by the large speaker in the corner trying to hook up one of their laptops to the sound system. They glanced up and saw both Changmin and Chanhee coming into the room, then lifted their hands in cheerful waves.

“Hey! Glad you guys are finally here,” Kevin exclaimed.

Chanhee snorted, dumping his bag in his usual corner. “We just had a showdown in the hallway.”

Kevin’s eyebrows flew up. “Oh?”

“They were disrespecting Yn,” Changmin shrugged stiffly. He walked over to his own corner, where you were already seated against the wall, and dropped his bag down next to you. He held your eye contact as he said, “They deserved it.”

Juyeon whistled lowly. “I’m sure they did. Wow, the fucking audacity. Do they just lack human decency?”

Kevin pursed his lips. “Apparently.”

“Fucking incredible.”

Chanhee shrugged his jacket off, eyeing the dark look still present in the shadows cast over Changmin’s face. Or maybe it was just the lighting. “Okay, let’s get started, shall we? Changmin, warm us up.”

———

Practice progressed smoothly.

You always liked Changmin’s corner of the room—definitely not because his duffle bag was here (because lord did that thing smell some days), but because it had the best view. (Of Changmin.) From here, even on the floor, you could observe his sharp, calculated movements, the graceful way in which he knew how to use his body and draw art in the air.

It seemed that the harder the choreography was, the more sweat he perspired, the harder he breathed, and the bigger he smiled. It was hard work like this that made his heart full, and thus, made you happy.

Occasionally, he would pass looks over to your corner, always looking for you and your reactions (maybe even your approval). He wasn’t quite sure what he was going to do when this was all over, but… he wasn’t going to think about that quite yet. He didn’t want to give that thought time to sink in.

The music blasted throughout the room louder than your own thoughts when Chanhee threw his head back and declared a break.

Everyone retreated to their separate corners, and Changmin, sweat dripping down his bangs and the side of his face like he’d just showered, came over to you. He leaned down and swept his water bottle out from his bag and guzzled the water down as fast as his throat could accept it.

“Tired?” You asked him quietly as he wiped his mouth with the collar of his shirt.

He broke into a smile. “Yeah.”

Changmin dropped his bottle onto his bag, exchanging it instead for his phone. “Are you okay? From earlier, I mean.”

“Oh. Those girls? Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

His mouth curled into a frown. “What they said—”

“—Can only hurt the living,” you said, brushing it off.

“Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you can’t still hurt.” Changmin lowered himself beside you now, only stealing glances at you so he didn’t look weird to everyone else. “They didn’t say anything to you when you were alive, did they?”

Your blank face didn’t make him feel any better. “Maybe something here or there, but nothing as direct as what was said earlier. It’s okay though. The past is in the past.”

Changmin swallowed. “How could you say that?”

You held his eyes, and for a moment that was all you could do. Instead of pushing against him and trying to defend your insensitivity, you said, “I’m sorry, Kyu. And thank you for what you did back there. But I guess even when I’m dead I don’t like talking about it.”

His eyes gleamed. “I’m sorry they did that to you.”

“Just don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t have stopped.”

His throat bobbed. “It’s not that easy, Yn-ie. You know that.”

“I do know, but just try, for my sake.”

DAY SIX

CHANGMIN didn’t sleep. Technically, he slept for half an hour, but those thirty minutes of sleep had been enough to keep him awake for the rest of the night.

The dream he had awoken from was still fresh in his mind. Thirty fast seconds of gauzy, luminescent adolescence. It was the rusty squeaking of the playground swings, the afternoon golden hour sun hanging like a medal in the sky at the end of the day. It was yours and his youthful gazes, cheeks full of love and smiles and that god forsaken discussion about death.

“What comes after this?” A line like this could only come from a child who had yet to experience the beauty of the world or a child exhausted by its horrors.

A shrug from him. “I dunno. Maybe we become ghosts!” He delivered this line with such vigor and delight that you couldn’t help but beam at his antics.

“Like the ones from Ghostbusters?” You asked him.

He bobbed his head, kicked his legs out to gain some momentum on his swing. He fell back whilst gripping the twin chains, tongue lolling out and making you laugh. He loved making you laugh, even as a kid. “Exactly like that. I want to spit out green ectoplasm just like that. Blehhh!”

The two of you mocked the ghosts from the universally known blockbuster. You didn’t exactly like scary movies, but the way Changmin stared up at the screen with awe and dimples big, you couldn’t help but like them, too.

After a minute, Changmin wrapped his elbows around the chains and let himself drift there, his eyes turned to you. “What about you? What do you think happens to us when we die?”

You looked up at the afternoon sky in thought. “Shei from art class told me this story that her mama tells her as a bedtime story. At the end, the girl and boy become butterflies so they can fly together in death because they couldn’t be together in life.”

Changmin blinked, the thoughts bouncing about in his head coming to a slow halt. His lips parted. “Oh.”

“It’s not as cool as ghosts, but I think about my grandpa whenever I see a butterfly now.”

Well, how could he possibly argue against it? He smiled then, reaching across the gap between you two to bump your shoulder. “I think butterflies are cool, too! We should say hi to every butterfly we see then.”

Changmin’s eyes fluttered open like the wings of a butterfly then, twelve years later from that moment in time. The room was dark, the sky outside his window burned to rust and void of stars. He let out a shuddering breath from his lips, shaky from exhaustion and shivers from the memory he had just revisited. How had it been so vivid?

He rolled around in bed to his other side and his eyes screwed shut in an attempt to return back to the land of dreams—maybe even to that very day twelve years ago. When death had only been a conversation, and not a reality.

Sleep would not come. Today was Saturday, day six.

You said you had seven days before leaving him forevermore.

Changmin rolled back over and grabbed his phone off the nightstand and squinted as the light from the screen blinded him. It was three in the morning; that definitely checked out. He opened his notes app, disregarded the title, and began to type out something. Anything to get his body moving as fast as his head.

Things to do with Yn before tomorrow.

His hand came up to rub his lips for a moment, then he yawned wide. His eyes had adjusted to the bright screen by now, and he swiped out of his notes to consult the internet.

Ghosts. What are ghosts? How do you summon ghosts? How can you make a ghost stay?

Changmin’s brows creased as his eyes zipped down article after article—he was pretty sure he must have downloaded about a hundred viruses and bugs onto his phone by this point. Not one article gave him a straight or doable answer. Not anything that he couldn’t do without practice or additional materials. Nothing he could accomplish before midnight tomorrow.

He dropped his phone onto his bed, flopping backward onto his pillow with his hand draped over his forehead. Was it too much for him to want you to stay? All of the things he had thought about doing with you or saying to you when you were alive, shoved under the rug for “another time”… He wished he had known. Goddamn it, he wished he had known.

———

“You’re up early.”

Changmin practically bolted into the bathroom to start up the faucet and brush his teeth. “I’ve been up since three,” he replied, toothbrush hanging from his mouth.

You were sitting on the couch again and rubbing Gana’s belly. “Three?”

“Mhm. Couldn’t sleep.” He spat out his lathered toothpaste and speed-ran his skincare routine, hands slapping the moisturizer and sunscreen into his skin.

You chuckled out from the living room. “What’re you doing in there? It sounds like you’re hitting yourself.”

“I’m just trying to be fast,” he said. When he was done, he took the slightest bit of hair product between his hands and ran it through his dark locks to give it life and volume. When he was decently satisfied with it, he breezed back into the living room and flicked his fingers upward at you. “Come on! Chop chop, Yn-ie! Things to do, places to see!”

You cocked your head to the side, a slightly weirded out smile pressed onto your face. “Huh? How are you so awake right now?”

He was in his bedroom when you asked this and thus, out of your direct sight. He shuddered, the energy slipping off the lines of his face for a split second as he threw things into a bag haphazardly. “I’m just—it’s just one of those days where I’m better off on a power nap, y’know?”

“Okay…?”

Changmin slung his bag over his shoulder and strode over to you to yank you up to your feet. He grinned wide at you. “Well? Ready for the day I have planned?” He stuffed his shaky hands into his pockets.

Your eyes narrowed at him, but you eventually sighed—accepted it. “Sure. What do you have in mind?”

———

Changmin pulled his phone’s notes app up and clicked the checkbox next to “go down to the boardwalk for rolled ice cream”. It was accompanied by about seven items prior to it, also crossed out in twin strike-throughs. It was about six o’clock in the evening now, the sun having well set into the horizon to yours and Changmin’s left. The ocean breeze wafted through his hair, and though the view of the boardwalk below was glittering and beautiful, all he could think about was the next thing on his list.

It wasn’t that you didn’t need to eat, but that you couldn’t… really eat. The food related items were there so Changmin could experience it with you one last time, but his cup of strawberry cheesecake rolled ice cream sat untouched and fast-melting in his lap.

Changmin felt the familiar twin taps on his shoulder and jolted. His head whipped up to meet your eyes. He gulped at the look on your face. “What?”

“Your ice cream is soup.”

He glanced down at his lap and saw the thick chunks of pale pink swimming in an ocean. “Oh.”

You rested the side of your head against your fist, then propped your elbow up on the back of the bench the two of you sat on. “What’s going on, Kyu? What’s your rush today? You have a whole list written out, and we’ve been practically everywhere around the city today. I think I saw you ignore the giraffe statue in the toy store earlier—which, frankly, is not very Kyu of you.”

The last thing you expected him to do was to stare at you until he started crying. You saw the way his face scrunched up, first, then the silver pooling in his eyes. His cheeks had puffed just slightly until he combusted, fat tears rolling down his face and dripping into his ice cream soup.

Your heart sank.

Changmin got up and stalked to the trash can just a little ways away from the bench and tossed the wasted ice cream away. When he came back, you wrapped him up in your embrace, gently cupping the back of his head. “I’m sorry I upset you,” you said quietly.

“I’m sorry for crying again,” he hiccuped. “I just—I’m just so frustrated. And I just don’t know anymore. There’s enough shit to do on that list to get us to tomorrow night—”

The realization dawned upon you. You had a sneaking suspicion throughout the day as he dragged you from place to place, barely taking the time to properly enjoy the attraction, but now that he had finally said it, the truth hit you square in the chest.

Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment, before they opened toward the shimmering boardwalk below. “Changmin-ah. Kyu. Let’s go home, hm? Do you wanna go home?”

You felt him nod against you, and that was settled.

When the two of you made it back to Changmin’s apartment, he walked in with shoulders hunched and head hanging. The lights stayed off, the quiet remained unbroken. You sat him down on his worn place on the couch, and you resumed that perch on the coffee table that you had taken on that very first day you had manifested in his apartment.

Changmin leaned forward onto his elbows. He was no longer crying, but his eyes were red and puffy, bottom lip wobbly. The worst thing was that he not only looked sad, but also ashamed. He kept his gaze firmly on the hardwood floor, and his voice was gravelly, “I just wasted an entire day, didn’t I?”

You shook your head. “N—”

“I’ve come to the realization that you’re probably not here to right any wrongs,” he pressed on, his head lifting for this moment to plead with his eyes for you to let him continue, to let this all out. “You haven’t done a single horrible thing in your life, Yn, not in my eyes. And… well, your death was an accident, and maybe for a second, I wanted to believe that there was foul play involved so I could distract myself but…” He picked at one of his fingers. “Now I just want to seize the last of these hours I have with you. And I thought I was doing it right today, but it was the exact opposite.”

He reached out for your hand and you gave it to him as he cradled it with both of his.

“I,” you began, “I understand what you were trying to do, Changmin, and I don’t blame you. I would have done the same thing.”

The breath he released was shaky as he stared you in the eyes with his red and silvery ones—stared you right in the eyes as he lifted your knuckles to his lips and held them there.

Something rocked through you then. You wanted to cry; god, you so badly wanted to cry.

“I wish it was me,” he croaked. “I wish it was me. I wish it was me—”

Your hand tightened around his fingers. “No,” you asserted. The strength and firmness of that single word made Changmin’s breath hitch. “No, Changmin. Don’t.” You shook your head vigorously, trying to wrap your head around the mere thought of Changmin taking your place, and everything in your chest seized. “Don’t say that.”

“God, fuck. Yn—” he stammered, pressing the back of your hand to his lips to stop the flood of emotions to break through yet again. Every time he thought he built himself back up, the dam just happened to be more fragile than he believed it to be.

You swallowed. “Changmin, I have to tell you something.”

He shook his head then. “No. God, no, don’t say it.”

“Changmin, I love you. You know that.”

He released your hand and flew back onto the couch, knees pulled to his chest and his face buried in his hands. “Yn, please.”

You clutched your hand to your chest. “I’m being selfish, and I’m sorry for that, but I… never got to say it to you before I left your house that day.” Not enough times. Never enough times.

“Yn, you don’t understand,” he rasped. One hand gripped onto his knee, the other swiping upwards into his hair so you could see the full brunt of his emotions, clear as day on his face. “I love—d you. I loved you so much that it makes my chest hurt. And—and—god, I think I would’ve wanted to spend the rest of my life with you if we had more time and I came to my fucking senses. Yn, it hurts so bad.”

You lowered yourself to your knees in front of him and coaxed him to unravel himself. He leaned forward, forehead pressed against you as he dry-sobbed until his lungs ached and burned from the inside out.

You couldn’t tell if all of what he just told you was true or in the moment. But what you did know was that the world was so very cruel. It would have been nice to figure this out with him, to see what might have transpired, or enjoyed the journey nonetheless. All of that… you had reached the final destination, and Changmin would go on without you now.

You had one day left.

With that one day… you were still unsure as to how you should seize it, but at this very blink in time, your priority was your best friend. You climbed onto the couch beside him and let him find comfort in your embrace.

You rubbed soothing circles into his back as you gathered your thoughts. “Do you know…” you started lowly and gently, “that I think the world of you? And I don’t say that to make you cry again; I’m saying that so you know, in your heart every day, that you could have never failed me. Like you said, in my eyes, you could do no wrong.”

Changmin sniffled against you. “But what if I do fail you? What if, when you leave for real, I can’t go on?”

“Well, then I’d like you to promise me that you will try your best to keep going. Your best is enough,” you said to him, finger brushing the hair from his forehead. “The Kyu I know is so very strong, and I know that even when the going gets tough, you get going, because you are tougher.”

He held onto your shirt, his chest’s rising and falling beginning to slow and calm down. “I promise.”

“Good. I’m proud of you.” You leaned down and pressed a butterfly kiss to the crown of his head then rubbed his shoulder. “I know this week must have been really difficult for you, but I watched you make steps toward healing. I won’t sugarcoat how hard it might be, but you have people who love you, Changmin. People who love you and care about you and want to be there for you.”

“Thank you,” he rasped. “Thank you for being here. For coming back. It probably wasn’t your choice, but thank you for choosing me in life and in death.”

For a moment, you closed your eyes and (maybe; just maybe) thought you finally felt a tear cascade down your cheek. “I wouldn’t have chosen anyone else, to be honest.”

DAY SEVEN

IT had been awhile since Changmin had invited anyone over to the apartment. Chanhee had pretty much invited himself over yesterday, but this morning, you had suggested to Changmin to host a movie night with the others so he wouldn’t have to be alone when you took off. (For wherever you were off to.) Changmin had recovered slightly from yours and his conversation last night, but there was still a soft spoken air around him.

At about six minutes past eight o’clock that Sunday evening, Changmin let Chanhee, Kevin, and Juyeon into the apartment, with Ghana leaping for joy onto the knees and thighs of these old friends he hadn’t seen in awhile. Before you died, it wasn’t uncommon that Changmin invited the group over to hang out. He thrived on the energy and connection of other people, and when he had shut himself in for an entire month, it was clear that he would not be himself for a while.

Kevin scanned the apartment with a pleasantly surprised nod. “Wow, I’m shocked that you kept it clean.”

“Yah! What kind of guest are you?” Changmin jokingly whacked Kevin with the excess material of his sleeve.

From your perch in the middle of the kitchen counter, you snickered. “If only he knew, Changmin.”

Changmin sent you a look, lips pressed in a smile.

“Man, I missed Gana so much,” Juyeon groaned, leaning down to pucker his lips at the poodle. Gana reacted accordingly, hopping up onto Juyeon’s knees and licking the tip of the man’s nose. “Mwah!”

Changmin rolled his eyes and hopped onto the ledge of the kitchen counter right in front of you. You leaned forward and rested your chin on his shoulder. “Oh please. Gana’s only got eyes for that pretty, white poodle—what’s her name?”

“Bori?” Chanhee’s pink head perked up from the couch. He peered over the ledge with a wide smile as he wielded the TV remote in his hand. “Younghoon says the two lovebirds ought to hang out again soon.”

Juyeon pouted. “Hmph, well I was in line first, so…”

Changmin shook his head with a melodramatic sigh. “Aish… by the way, you weirdos better say hi to Yn over there or I will kick you out right now.” He was only kidding, of course. (Maybe half kidding.) He was tempted to make the joke that you were really behind him and that he wasn’t referring to the shrine by the TV, but he knew they would only give him weird looks and he’d be the butt of the joke.

His three friends immediately jumped to it, raising their hands in cute, excited waves, smiles gleaming under the television light. Kevin scurried over to the table, cooing at the dinosaur plush seated next to your portrait. You couldn’t quite hear the words he murmured to you, but Juyeon was a little louder when he paid your shrine a visit himself.

When they had finished, Juyeon raised the dead tea light in the sky. “Aye! This light’s out, Changmin-ah.”

“That’s what I noticed yesterday, too!” Chanhee chimed in. He shook his head with a playful click of his tongue. “Tsk, tsk. If you’re gonna keep a shrine, you should tend to it.”

“Aish,” Changmin muttered again. (“They’re not wrong,” you added cheekily; “Heeey, shush you.”)

“Changmin, are you not coming to join us at your own movie night?” Kevin teased as he tore off his jacket and settled onto the couch next to Juyeon.

“Hm? Oh, yeah.” He felt the weight of your head lift off his shoulder, then could he slide off the counter and join his friends at the couch.

You smiled to yourself as you scooted up the counter to take Changmin’s old place. From here, you had a great view of the movie anyway. They were arguing between a couple different titles, but it seemed that Changmin was insistent on one in particular.

“—Ghostbusters. Have you seen the original? You haven’t? That’s so insulting; we’re watching it now!” Changmin screeched, grabbing hold of Chanhee’s shoulder to shake the poor man into doing his bidding with the remote.

Eventually, the movie started rolling, the ectoplasm spilled, and on your final night as a ghost, you watched yours and Changmin’s childhood staple movie for the very last time. From time to time, you caught Changmin twisting his head over his shoulder to throw smiles back at you, and you knew he was reminiscing the same as you were. Only, as the night grew longer and time flew by, there were less and less looks thrown back at you.

And just like that, a sense of contentment settled over you. Like a set of ellipses, your time was coming to a gradual halt.

At five minutes to midnight, Changmin jolted up in the middle of The Avengers to a twin set of taps on his left shoulder. Chanhee sent him a mildly concerned look, since his friend’s movements jostled his head off Changmin’s shoulder.

Changmin cleared his throat, quietly murmuring, “I’ll be right back”, then slipped out of the front door.

Changmin’s slippers hit the concrete outside the apartment complex with a dull smack. Crisp cool night bit at his cheeks, but when he saw you standing beneath the rusty-orange night sky, he ran up to you and crushed you to his body in a final embrace. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, but his mouth curled into a smile against your shoulder.

“I wish we had more time,” he whispered in a last, desperate attempt to implore the universe.

You cradled the back of his head, eyes screwed shut. “Me, too. You have no idea, but… you’re gonna be okay, Kyu. It’ll all be okay.”

Changmin tucked his face into your neck to catch the lingering scent of your shampoo, to memorize the imprint of your body into his brain so he might always remember what holding you felt like. “I’ll make you proud, Yn-ie.”

Silver lined your eyes, your throat tightened—for fuck’s sake, you wished you could cry. “You’ve already made me proud, Changmin.”

———

When Changmin returned, three heads perked up from the couch to watch him settle down next to Chanhee again. They caught the glistening wetness of his eyes, but he smiled through it, as if he had just come back from seeing a friend off.

Changmin curled up into Chanhee’s side, the latter asking him gently, “You okay?”

Changmin nodded. “I’m okay.”

—fin.

BONUS SCENES. — day seven cont’d.

(“Hey, before you go, can I ask you a favor?”; “Anything.”)

A minute after Changmin had settled back in the apartment, he cleared his throat, inclining his head to the shrine. “Guys, I know you said I should really maintain the shrine better, but the shrine maintains itself.”

Everyone followed his line of sight to the shrine where your portrait glowed in the light of only one tea light. However, they all heard, loud and clear, a distinct tap-tap sound against the base of the dark candle. The light blinked to life, and everyone erupted into madness.

Through his friends’ screams, Changmin cackled in hyena-esque delight. “I told you my apartment was haunted!”

DAY TWELVE

“CHANGMIN, over here!”

The street was alive as university students flooded into all cram into the humble bbq restaurant in the district, this chilly Friday evening. Only a lucky few would be able to score a table without having a prior reservation, but lucky for Changmin and his friends, Kevin was always on top of his Yelp notifications.

Changmin beamed at his friends, his eyes widening as Chanhee practically hurled himself down the street and into Changmin’s embrace. “Holy shit—I could’ve become a pancake on the sidewalk just now.”

Chanhee rolled his eyes with a laugh. “Oh shut up, you drama king.”

“Hey, that’s all you, dude.” The two of them walked back over toward where Kevin and Juyeon stood by the door. A long line had formed down the opposite side of the block, but the four of them stood in the area simply waiting for their reservation notification to arrive.

Juyeon brought Changmin in for an affectionate side hug, and Kevin asked him how he was feeling. Changmin answered with a small, affirming nod and statement; though, the deja vu was awfully strong tonight.

Kevin pursed his lips in a smile. “Good, I’m glad, man.” Then his phone lit up, and so too did his face. “Ooh, fuck yeah! Our table’s ready—c’mon!”

Changmin was about to follow his friends in through the door when he stopped short. His head perked up and swiveled to survey the sidewalk. He thought he had just heard his name being called…

“Kyu!”

He whipped around now, and his eyes locked onto a form on the far side of the street. It was a mass crush of people over there, but he could pick you out of a sea of people—anytime, anywhere.

Something seized in his chest, and he broke into a teary-eyed smile. Before he could wave or further acknowledge your presence, someone passed in front of you, and you melted in with the crowd. Gone, as if never there before.

“—Changmin-ah, what’s up? We can’t be seated until we’re all inside.” Chanhee shook Changmin’s shoulder, then followed his gaze. “What’s over there?”

Changmin shook his head and turned on his heel to duck into the warmth of the restaurant with Chanhee. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I just saw an old friend.”

a/n: thank you so much for reading all the way thru and i hope u liked it ! :') pls do consider reblogging this or dropping a comment/ask &lt;3

[alohajun]

♡ PRETTY YOU — SO JUNGHWAN

junghwan x fem!reader | wc : 0.5k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, fluff, swearing, strangers to friends (?) | request — hiii :) can you write a fic for junghwan? tysm i love your writings 🥰

"ah, fuck my life."

you cursed your luck, sitting at the bus stop while contemplating your life decisions.

should've watched my step. you wondered, looking down at your arm that was in a cast. but i could've sworn that step wasn't there before.

after a minor accident that resulted with your arm in a cast, you were informed you had an appointment for your passport picture.

and with your roommate away for the weekend, you had absolutely no one to help you. it took you all your effort to get your clothes prim and proper, but you forgot about your hair in the process.

upon seeing your phone's reflection, you realised you needed to be absolutely professional for the picture — and this meant having a proper hairstyle.

and as last resort, you took a deep breath, turning towards the male beside you who was also waiting for the bus. he looks nice. you wondered, politely smiling.

"hi. i'm really sorry for disturbing you," you apologised as you greeted him. "but could you please help me tie my hair?"

so junghwan seemed confused at first, wondering why you were asking him before he saw the cast on your arm.

"i, uh, haven't really done this before," he admitted honestly, feeling bad when he saw your mood deflate. "i could try, though."

"that'd be much appreciated," you thanked him. "i have to get my passport pictures done and my roommate's also not home. i'm really sorry for troubling you like this!"

you felt terrible and weirdly enough that brought a smile on junghwan's face. he knew you genuinely meant every word you spoke, and your politeness warmed his heart.

"i'll touch your hair now," he announced awkwardly, standing behind as he gathered your hair in his hand. "is your fracture really bad? does it hurt?" he asked, trying to make some conversation as he tried to figure out what to do.

"it's a minor one, but it hurts a lot more than i thought," you replied, oddly feeling comfortable with this stranger. "i'm sorry about this, really."

junghwan chuckled, shaking his head, though you couldn't see it. "it's alright. if anything, i'm sorry if i'm doing anything wrong," he apologised. "i don't want you to ruin your picture because of me," he muttered.

his touch on your hair was very gentle, and you could feel him trying his best and you deeply appreciated that.

once he had tied your hair, junghwan stood in front of you, taming your flyaways before taking out his phone and turning the camera towards you.

"wah," you exclaimed, totally in awe. "you are really good at this! thank you very much!"

the male only smiled in response, relieved to hear his shoddy work of tying your hair was acceptable. "well, that's a relief," he muttered, nodding politely as he moved away.

"seriously, i mean it," you commented, grateful for the help. "it came out exactly like i would do it. i can't believe you've never done this before!"

the raven-haired male shyly smiled as he looked at you, admiring the absolute golden retriever energy that was radiating off you.

for the time first time in his life, so junghwan wanted to get know to someone, and the someone who pulled on his heartstrings was none other than you.

"ah, well, i'm glad i was able to pull off a pretty hairstyle for a pretty you."

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A.C.E.

Memory | 🍓❄️🦕 Kim Byeongkwan x Reader + Park Junhee x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

Ateez

Only One | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🦕 CEO!Choi San x Reader

BigBang

It’s An Act [WBU I] | ❄️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

Smoke | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

BTS

Runaway | 🍓❄️🏩 Mafia!Kim Seokjin (Jin) x Reader (Mafia AU) Preview 1 2 3 4 x

Mah Boyfriend | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🦕 Jung Jungkook x Idol!Reader

BTOB

Hidden Heart | 🍓🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🚀🍳 Lee Minhyuk (HUTA) x Idol!Reader [Headcanon]

Day6

A University Dilemma | 🤸‍♀️ Kang Younghyun (Young-K) x Reader (Univeristy AU)

What A Joke | ❄️ Kang Younghyun (Young K) x Reader + Park Jaehyung x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

So... Haha... I Like You | 🍓🦕 Park Jaehyung x Reader (Fake Dating AU)

EXO

Wheel Of Fortune | 🍓🍳🚀 Park Chanyeol x Reader [Headcanon]

Welcome To The Jungle | 🚀🚀🚀🏩 Park Chanyeol & Oh Sehun (Jungle AU)

Maybe We Still Have A Shot [WBU III] | 🍓🍓🏩 CatHybid!Oh Sehun x Reader (University AU)

Unrequited Attraction | 🚧🏩🍳🦕 Mafia!Kim Jongdae (Chen) x Retail Worker!Reader

Color Palette | 🍓 Byun Baekhyun x Reader [Blurb]

Brown Leaves | 🍓 Kim Jongin (Kai) x Reader (University AU)

GOT7

One Million In One Day | 🍓🍓❄️❄️🍳 Sugar Daddy!Jackson Wang x Reader Preview ~ Alternate Moodboard ~ Moodboard Teaser  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 

Car Rides | 🍓 Jackson Wang x Reader [Blurb]

Juice Box | 🍓🚀🏩🦕 Kunpimook Bhuwakul Bambam x Reader [Blurb] (Pre-Schooler AU)

Somewhere In Between | ❄️❄️Civil Engineer!Park Jinyoung x Reader + Architect!Henry Lau x Reader

Trading Secrets | 🍓🍓 Kim Yugyeom x WangSis!Reader

JYJ

Winning Losses | ❄️ Kim Jaejoong x Idol!Reader

Monsta X

Introspect | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Jooheon x Reader [Blurb]

Letting Off Steam | 🤸‍♀️ Lee Hoseok (Wonho) x ArtStudent!Reader (University AU)

NCT

Seventeen

December Dates | 🍓🚀 bf!Seventeen x Reader [Headcanon]

The Stroke Of Midnight | 🍓❄️🏩🦕 Mafia!Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi) x Reader

Here's My Problem: I Can't Get You Out Of My Head | ❄️❄️❄️🎩🎩🎩🏩🍳🦕 Detective!Jeon Wonwoo x Actress!Reader

10 Ways To Get Over Gyu | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🍳🦕 Kim Mingyu x Reader + others (Childhood AU)

Half Of My Heart | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳 Kim Mingyu x Reader + Jeon Wonwoo x Reader (CEO AU)

On A Thread | ❄️❄️ CEO!Joshua Hong (Hong Jisoo) x Nurse!Reader

SF9

A Final Offering | 🍓🍓❄️🏩🦕 Deity!Kim Inseong & Child!Reader + Baek Juho (Zuho) x Mom  

What Does It Mean? | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️ Kim Inseong x Reader + Lee Jaeyoon x Reader (University AU) 

16th Floor | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Kim Seokwoo (Rowoon) x Reader (Office AU)

SHINee

Understand This |❄️ Choi Minho x Reader I Don’t Understand [Understand This II] | ❄️ Choi Minho x Reader

It’s All A Big Joke [WBU II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Th-that’s Not | ❄️❄️🚧🦕 Lee Taemin x Reader Regrets [Th-that’s Not II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Angel Bride | ❄️🚧🏩🦕 Pirate!Lee Taemin x Reader

Noona, You're So Pretty | 🍓 Lee Taemin x Noona!Reader

Stray Kids

Professional Boundaries | 🍓❄️🚧🦕 CEO!Bang Chan x Pre-School Teacher!Reader + CEO!Hwang Hyunjin x Pre-School Teacher!Reader 1 2 3 4 

Bootylicious | 🍓🚀 Bang Chan x Idol!Reader

Super Junior

The Soup | 🍓🍓🚀🚀 SuJu x SuJu Maknae!Reader [Headcanon]

Secrets Of A Maknae | 🍓🚀🚀 Kim Heechul x SuJuMaknae!Reader

The Boyz

Gentle With Me | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Sangyeon x Reader

TVXQ!

Pitter-Patter | 🍓 Jung Yunho (U-Know) x Reader (Pre-School Teacher AU)

The Art Of Deception | ❄️🎩🏩 Shim Changmin x Reader (Secret Agent/Spy AU)

TXT

Forget About It | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳🦕 Choi Soobin x Reader (University AU)  

WINNER

I’m Not Playing | 🍓❄️❄️ Gangster!Song Minho (Mino) x Reader 1 2 3 

[cheolsfae]

WIPS 𔘓

Tarot

𔘓Seventeen𔘓

→ Seungcheol (S. Coups)

None

→ Wonwoo

current love life?-confused by question

→ Mingyu

None

→ Vernon

Physical type

→ Joshua

As a father/husband

→ Jeonghan

None

→ Jihoon (Woozi)

None

→ Seokmin (DK)

None

→ Seungkwan

None

→ Hoshi

None

→ Jun

None

→ Minghao (The8)

None

→ Chan (Dino)

physical type

→ OT13

How they meet their future spouses

𔘓Enhypen𔘓

→ Jungwon

None

→ Jay

Dynamic: Chanty

→ Jake

Twinflame: Looks, vibe, everything

→ Sunghoon

Dynamic: Haerin

→ Ni-ki

Fs

How'd he handle a break up

→ Seonwoo

Fs

Current love life

→ Heesung

None

→ OT7

Twin flame update

Who's dating

Witchy partner

opinions on each others spouses

𔘓Stray Kids𔘓

→ Chris (Bang Chan)

Current love life

Fs updated

→ Minho (Lee Know)

Dynamic: Haewon

→ Changbin

physical type

→ Hyunjin

Current love life

→ Jisung

current love life

→ Felix

Dynamic: Ryujin

→ Seungmin

Physical type

→ Jeongin (I.N.)

None

→ OT8

Future spouse impressions

𔘓Ateez𔘓

→ Seonghwa

None

→ Hongjoong

Future spouse dynamic

→ Yunho

None

→ Yeosang

None

→ San

Fs dynamic

→ Mingi

future spouse dynamic

→ Wooyoung

None

→ Jongho

None

→ OT8

None

𔘓Tomorrow x together 𔘓

→ Yeonjun

Dynamic: Yunjin

→ Soobin

None

→ Beomgyu

Future spouse

→ Taehyun

None

→ Heuningkai

None

𔘓Boynextdoor𔘓

→ Jaehyun

None

→ Sungho

None

→ Riwoo

None

→ Taesan

None

→ Leehan

None

→ Woonhak

None

→ OT6

likely to date a foreigner

𔘓The Boyz𔘓

→ Sangyeon

Soulmate

Current love life

→ Jacob

None

→ Younghoon

None

→ Jaehyun (Hyunjae)

None

→ Juyeon

Soulmate

ideal type

Future spouse

→ Kevin

None

→ Chanhee (New)

None

→ Changmin (Q)

None

→ JuHaknyeon

None

→ Sunwoo

None

→ Eric

None

→ OT11

None

Smau

𔘓Seventeen𔘓

→ None

𔘓Enhypen𔘓

→ None

𔘓Stray Kids𔘓

→ None

𔘓Ateez𔘓

→ None

𔘓Tomorrow x Together 𔘓

→ None

[kpop-locks]

QUIZ DIVERTIDO DE KPOP

1. Qual foi o primeiro grupo de kpop que vocês conheceram(mesmo que hoje em dia vocês não acompanhem mais)?

2. Se vocês pudessem ser apenas 1 idol fem/ma quem vocês seriam?

3. Qual o utt de vocês?

4. Qual a música de kpop que vocês dedicariam a alguém?

5. Qual seu grupo fav?

6. Qual grupo que antes você acompanhava, mas que hoje não acompanha mais?

7. Deem uma nota de 0 - 10 para 3 empresas de kpop que vocês conhecem.

8. Cada idol tem um animal de emoji,né? Do emoji de 🐰 que idol vocês seriam?

9. De cada 3 grupos de kpop que vocês gostam dê uma nota de 0 - 10

10. Com qual idol de kpop vocês amigariam fácil?

Por favor todas as adms tentem responder, vou gostar de ver as respostas de vocês 😄✨️

ok, vamos lá

1

maju: suju fui elf por 8 anos

bia: 2ne1 quando lançaram i am the best e a menina que estudava comigo na escola viciou a turma inteira

gabxs: tenho uns 99% de certeza que foi o exo (na época de call me baby quando lançou)

lara: super junior

day: bts e exo

lola: bigbang

gab: exo e bts

2

maju: eu seria a sua do dreamcatcher quem sabe sabe

bia: existem muitas opções, mas no momento eu iria de ningning

gabxs: taeyong (nct)

lara: nana do after school

day: wooyoung

lola: sinceramente acho q ngm

gab: jinyoung (imagina ter a bunda daquele tamanho) ou a irene (a mulher mais linda do mundo, amem)

3

maju: hanbin - zb1

bia: suho - exo

gabxs: antes de responder sou geminiana então escolher 1 só fica complicado, mas atualmente o Yeosang(ateez) e o Jaehyun(nct)

lara: jeno, ningning, anton, baekho, chanyeol, changmin, irene, yeri, seolhyun, hyunjin, chaein e julie

day: woosan

lola: ⁠leehan, yeeun, wooyoung, dk, vernon, seungkwan e o zb1 inteiro nn ironicamente

gab: jinyoung, jaebeom e mark tuan

4

maju: dedico im unhappy do aespa pp meu psiquiatra tenho que trocar o antidepressivo

bia: dedico fancy do twice pra minha amiga que tá morando na frança que é a unica musica de kpop que ela aguenta e tbm pq to com saudades

gabxs: aaaaa muito difícil escolher 1 só, mas sun&moon nct127 ou forever only - jaehyun

lara: i'll be your man do btob mt boa 👍🏻

day: thank u do ateez pras de vdd

lola: timeless do nct u

gab: não sei, nunca quis dedicar música a alguém

5

maju: zerobaseone (dreamcatcher pra ggs)

bia: exo, seventeen e newjeans

gabxs: meu top 3 pode ser? Nct127, ateez e exo

lara: nct, tvxq e aespa

day: ateez, aespa e riize

lola: . ⁠zb1 e bnd

gab: got7, ikon, exo, oh my girl, stayc e newjeans

6

maju: puts, vaaarios, mas o principal deve ser bts fui army do debut até wings chorava de amores

bia: puts tem muitos, mas acho que vou de monsta x

gabxs: bts

lara: ateez, bts, twice

day: bts, nct, exo, bp e vários outros KKKKKK

lola: bts

gab: dos que já foram grupos favs msm, acho que só o bts, mas já teve mt bg que jurava que ia virar fav mas enjoei

7

maju: pras empresas dou 0 pra todas

bia: mesma coisa que a maju

gabxs: não sei

lara: todas um 0 um grande cu

day: nota DÓ

lola: ai nn ligo p nenhuma

gab: vish, morro de raiva de todas porém jyp 0,0000000

8

maju: seria a nayeon velha rabugentinha e viada

bia: nayeon

gabxs: soobin

lara: irene

day: sei lá

lola: jiu

gab: irene

9

maju: meu top3 no momento: zb1: 100000, piwon: 1200, riize: 7 (pra não esquecerem quantos membros tem)

bia: exo, seventeen e zb1 nota 1000

gabxs: respondi na 5 sem saber

lara: nct 10 tvxq 10 aespa 10

day: ten TEN ACROSS THE BOARD

lola: ⁠se eu gosto eh nota 10 né fml

gab: todos os meus favs são 1000/10

10

maju: o theo do piwon, ele eh meio que gêmeos da lola e a lola eh minha amg acho queda certo

bia: acho que nenhum pq não sei fazer amizade, mas amaria ser amiga do kyungsoo ou do dk

gabxs: acho que eu seria muito best do haechan(nct)

lara: chanyeol

day: wooyoung pois ele é mt eu KKKKKK

lola: acho q a lily do nmixx a diva eh cronicamente online a gnt ia se dar bem ✋

gab: acho que o youngjae, suho, sumin (seria amg de todo o got7 porém paciência não é meu forte KKKKK)

[sanjoongie]

Cowboy! San

🐎Inspired by the That That cover 🐎Pairing: Choi San x Reader (f) 🐎Genre: non-idol au, Westworld Au 🐎Word Count: 2,808 🐎Warnings: mentions of death, blood, gun fights, sex (cowgirl position because hello), m and f orgasm 🐎Rated: 18+ MDNI, smut with no plot 🐎Dedication~ @mejuii @downtoamagicalland  my beta writers and part of the reason this exists. my cowboy san gc @toxicccred​ @cherryxsang​ for making this a thing too. @flurrys-creativity​ because you wanted this as well.....

~TBZ Outlaws (hosts): Sunwoo, Changmin, Kevin, Juyeon, Haknyeon

~ATZ Cowboys(guests): Mingi, Yeosang, Yunho and Hongjoong

~TXT town boys(hosts): Yeonjun and Soobin

🐎Synopsis: Westworld~ a meticulously crafted theme park where you can immerse yourself in the world of the wild west. You can fuck, kill and commit whatever sin, or glory, you decide. Other than the other guests, all the players in this world are androids, or known as Hosts, who don't even know of the outside world. All they know is what the narrative, or story, that’s filled their heads. The guests can never die, but there is one risk… falling in love with an android.

🐎A/N: if you’re not familiar with Westworld, the guests(or the humans) can talk about the outside world or about the androids (hosts), and the hosts won’t react to it. They will pretend like nothing was said. It’s to keep them in the narrative. They’ll never ask what a cellphone is or wonder why the guests mock them.

You’ve lived on the ranch all your life. Your father was a horse breeder, sold some of the best steeds in the state. Your mother, bless her soul, died in the attempt to birth your brother. Your brother died of smallpox before the age of ten. And your father had just recently passed after a horse threw him when he was breaking him into saddle riding. So it was just you at the ranch now, haunted by the memories of your family.

The town treated you well, especially because the quality of horses never faltered, even after your father passed. It was frowned upon, certainly, that you had never married, but other than that, they still traded with you and that got you by.

The only true danger lay in strangers. More specifically, outlaws.

You were out in the training ring late one evening, working on a colt. You were trying to gauge if he was ready for horse shoes or not, and so you had him running the ring. It was late but you just didn’t want to be cooped up in your cabin yet.

“Well, look what we have here boys,” A man with sharp features called out, “A bonafide cowgirl.” The group snickered at the comment. 

You pushed your hat upwards so you could get a good look at the group. They looked travel-worn and they were still on their horses. Perhaps they had been previous customers of your father’s. “You looking to buy a horse?” You said, putting on a warm smile.

The men exchanged long looks. “You could say that.”

“Town ain’t that far,” You offered, “You could find some rooms and then come back at sunrise.”

“Noooooo,” Another man, with plush lips and wicked glint in his eye, said. “I think we’ll stay here.”

You frowned. “You’re welcome to some water and hay for your horses, but the town really isn’t that far.” No need to inform them that you were on your own. That wouldn’t bode well for you.

"Darlin’, I don't think you understand the situation." You swallowed hard when one of them descended from his horse. "We're here to steal your horses. And there isn't anything you can do about it."

"Changmin!" Another frowned, "Don't tell her! That'll take the fun out of it."

Your eyes immediately went to your father's shotgun leaning against the rail post. If only you could--

"It'll still be fun, Juyeon," The last man, with an evil grin, reached for your gun and pulled it through the fence. He winked at you. "Don't you worry."

Kevin, the ringleader of the gang, ordered Sunwoo, Juyeon and Changmin to round up the horses. Haknyeon, the one with the evil grin, was in charge of you. 

You kicked and screamed as Haknyeon grabbed you by your waist and dragged you back to your cabin. Sunwoo complained loudly about Haknyeon getting all the fun jobs while he had wrangle horses.

"Like that ever stopped you before," Changmin said snidely, snickering behind his hand as a blood burst from his chest.

Whooping and hollering erupting from the main trail and out came five other men on horses. They had shot Changmin, so clearly they weren't with the outlaws.

Oddly enough, they drew up to the five men, guns drawn and aimed, but not shooting.

"This is our catch, Cowboy." Kevin stepped up to a black haired man with a jean jacket and tight vest underneath.

"Did you have to shoot so prematurely, Mingi?" One of the men said, face in hand as if exasperated.

Mingi shrugged with a goofy grin on his face. "I got excited, Hongjoong, what can I say?"

"Bet he said that to the whore from earlier too," A man with long black hair snickered.

The man in the jean jacket looked to another with a green jacket. The man in the green jacket shrugged. "This is a completely new story line, San. It's your birthday weekend. Why don't you choose how we do this?"

San stared at you, hurt racking over his face. "Let's kill these assholes and save the girl, Yunho."

Yunho smiled. "I was hoping you'd say that."

It was a shoot-out, plain and simple. Haknyeon threw you to the ground, expecting you to sob and cry like any other girl they'd have come across. But you weren't about to let someone else decide your fate. 

While Haknyeon flicked the hammer of his revolver, shooting as quickly as his hands would allow him, you grabbed your shotgun. Haknyeon’s aim was reaching San. You shot Haknyeon from behind and the outlaw collapsed. San's jaw would have been on the floor if not for the fact he was still on his horse.

"Shit, San, she saved you!" Yeosang's eyes were wide in surprise for a moment. "Maybe your girlfriend--"

"Shut up, Yunho!" San hissed.

Yunho mimed zipping his mouth. Hongjoong and Yeosang exchanged a look. Yeosang spoke. "Is that her?"

San didn't respond. He simply got off his horse and walked to you. He crouched down by you, ignoring Haknyeon's body. "You okay? They didn't…"

You shook your head. "No. You got here just in time."

San smiled, showing off a pair of dimples. "Good. You saved my life back there. I should thank you." He stood up and offered you a hand.

You took it, clapping your palm to his. You suddenly had an intense headache and your vision became blurry. 

"Hi, my name is San. I've never done this before, actually."

You felt your face smile broadly at your shy customer. "No problem, Darlin'. I'll take it easy with you."

The cowboy took his hat off, respectful and a gentleman. He scratched the back of his head, smiling and showing off a pair of dimples. "Actually, I'm hoping you won't."

You quirked an eyebrow up at him. "Oh? Are you the type of cowboy that enjoys a bucking bronco?"

San’s neck got red, highlighting some freckles there. "Yeah. I kinda do."

"Well, shall we?" You offered your hand.

San took it, fingers fluttering along your wrist. "I'd love to."

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?" San’s eyebrows furrowed inwards, looking worried.

You rubbed the heel of your hand into your eye. "I'm shook up over everything. But I think it's me that should be thanking you. If you hadn't interrupted them…"

Mingi was using his toe to poke at Kevin’s body. "Should we…uh?" He looked at Yeosang for any hint of what they should do with the bodies.

Yeosang jerked his chin angrily to motion to Mingi to get away from the body. "Staff'll clean it up. Don't worry about it. You're un-immersing me, Mingi!"

"You need some time, San?" Yunho asked, eyebrows lifted inwards.

San had not let go of your hand still. "You wanna go to the town? Better make sure that's all of the outlaws. Otherwise the sheriff won't give us a reward."

"But!" Mingi protested.

"Take the hint, Mingi, geez." Hongjoong clapped Mingi on the shoulder. "We'll be in town, San. Come find us when you're done."

You lead the way back to your house. You worked in silence as you prepared a meal for the two of you. The sun was setting and you had to light a fire. Instead, San took care of it and it made your heart ache. The simple act of someone doing a chore for you was not something you had experienced in a long time.

After the meal, you began to think of the evening and how it might pan out. San was easy on the eyes and you can’t say you didn’t contemplate taking him to your bed. It wasn’t so much the gratitude of him saving you, but more so, you were just lonely. Forming a new memory that didn’t have anything to do with your family would be nice as well.

“I hope the bed is to your liking,” You shouted as you made it from your room. “I’ll just replace the sheets and then--”

“No!” San shouted, clearing his voice when it cracked. “No no, you don’t need to offer me the bed. I’ll just--sleep in front of the fire. Your floor is softer than the hard packed earth outside at least.”

San curled up in front of the fireplace, pulling his jacket off and using it as a pillow. His broad shoulders practically blotted out the firelight. 

Well that wouldn’t do. You began to unbutton your blouse. “Always such a gentleman,” You cooed.

San sat up all of a sudden, eyes wide. “What did you say?”

“You helped me up earlier.” You finished unbuttoning your blouse. “I’m all alone in this world right now, Cowboy. My heart is cold as ice. I can’t care anymore about anyone. My father, my mother, my brother, they’re all dead. Maybe you could warm it up for me?”

You weren’t a virgin. Your first time was with Soobin, the bank manager’s son. He had climbed on top of you in his bed, when his mother was out at a friend’s house and his father was working late. Only a few pumps later, however, and he was done. You thought that sex wasn’t all that cracked up to be. How was it that others paid for this service? 

With that thought in mind, you decided to try again. You took some earnings your father had insisted on giving you after a profitable year selling horses you had helped train and bring up, and you had gone to the whorehouse. You paid for the services of Yeonjun, who spent an entire evening teaching you the pleasures of lying with another man. Yeonjun had you cursing your weakness for shy men when you could have been experiencing so much more between your legs.

San stared up at you, watching as you discarded your blouse. “You don’t know what you’re offering.”

You knelt down to his level, smoothing your skirts over your bottom instinctively. You cupped his face. “I wanna share the night with you, San.” Your eyes traveled over the planes of his handsome face. “Something inside of me wants to give my all to you. I feel like I can trust you with everything, even my cold, dead heart.”

Even with his soft protests, his lips opened slightly so that you could kiss him. It was gentle and warm and soft and it matched him somehow. Your hands descended to those broad shoulders you had been admiring earlier. The pads of your fingers followed the line of his vest, slipping over his collarbones and tracing the v that framed his chest. Your fingers found the first button but San’s hands stopped you. “Wait.” He broke the kiss.

“San,” You said gently.

“I brought you the flower you wanted to see. It’s dried and flat but it’s the best I could do.” San pulled out a lovely pink flower that looked too fragile for the harsh world of the west. “Hibiscus, remember?”

“I--” Wasn’t this the first time meeting this cowboy? Had you met San before? Surely you would have remembered such a gentle cowboy. They were rare in this world, that hardened everyone.

You shook your head, “I’m sorry…”

San smiled. It was a bright smile but his eyes brimmed with tears. “It’s okay. I’ll remember enough for the two of us.”

You grabbed your head, another headache threatening to take you out of consciousness. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I’ll just try to enjoy our time. I won’t bring up our past again. I don’t want to see you in pain.” When you opened your eyes, tears were streaming down San’s face and he was clutching his heart. 

“What’s wrong, Cowboy?” You reached over and wiped away his tears. “Maybe I can fix your heart too. Let’s heal each other.”

You leaned in and kissed his cheekbones as new tears fell. You could taste the salt on your tongue. You finished unbuttoning his vest and ran an appreciative hand down the planes of his stomach. He felt like carved marble but somehow living. You pulled up your skirts and straddled him in front of the fireplace.

“Fill me up,” You murmured, “Make my heart warm again.”

San’s hands smoothed up your thighs, warm and surprisingly soft for a cowboy. “You know I can’t say no to you, even like this.”

“Then don’t say no to me.” You smiled impishly, and fished for his cock in the confines of his pants. It wasn’t hard to find. 

San moaned, his back arching into your touch. You swiveled your hips, running your outer lips along his cock. Your slickness covered his cock as his cockhead nudged your sensitive nub, making you moan in return as well.

San's nails dug into your skin, tongue licking his lower lip. "You always.. tease me!"

"Isn’t that what you want?” You crept your hands up his stomach and then gently raked your nails down the skin there. 

“Please!” San sat up, locking his arms behind your back. “Take me,” he whispered against your lips, “Make me yours again.”

You swiftly raised his cock and your body, only to sink down on his cock, taking him inch by sweet inch. It felt good to be stretched out like this. San was girthy and it gave you a new-found pleasure to take him all inside of you.

When you looked back at San, he was sucking down on his bottom lip, his eyes hooded and staring at you. This was all up to you, you could feel that in his gaze. He'd take whatever you gave him.

You raised your body, lifting it up until San was barely still within you and then swiftly descended. San’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and that was how you decided on the pace. Slowly unsheathing him within you and then a quick push back inwards. Your thighs, used to riding horses, had no problem with the pace and you were glad for it.

"Sweet--sweetheart!" San groaned.

"It's--?" You pressed your lips inward, "It's good?"

"You have no goddamn idea," San groaned again.

"I want it to be good for you," You found yourself saying.

San’s hands found your waist and tightened, thrusting up into you. Your hands clung to his upper arms, a cry leaving your lips. "You're always good for me, Sweetheart. Made just right for me, you are. A heart of gold and a spine of steel. You're perfect for me."

You smiled. "Feels pretty perfect, doesn't it?"

The two of you came in a crescendo of intense shouts. San’s hair clung to his face, sweat drenching his face and you panting because of the ride. “That was…”

San smiled up at you and finished your sentence, “...out of this world.”

You got up and offered him a hand. “Now come to bed.”

You fell asleep to San’s heart beating against your eardrum, your cheek pressed up against his chest. His arms were wrapped around you so tightly, as if he thought you’d steal away during the night. Your mother did always warn you that if you gave your body away, men became possessive, but this didn’t seem like that. It seemed like San never wanted to let you go.

Except… Come morning, there was no San and his horse was gone. All that you had to remind yourself of him was the pressed, dried flower that he said was for you. You rode hard to town but the sheriff said the group of men had already claimed their bounty and had moved on to hunt down other outlaws and hooligans. 

For a chance, one night spent encounter, your heart hurt harder than it should have. You blamed it on the loneliness that permeated the horse ranch since everyone you loved was gone.

🐎 🐎 🐎

“You sure you wanna leave without saying goodbye?” Yunho wondered as their horses plodded out of the town.

San pulled his hat down over his eyes. “I won’t be able to say goodbye if she’s awake. Besides,” San pushed off his grief with a joke, “I already checked. They won’t let me live here.”

Yeosang and Hongjoong exchanged a look of pity. “So what are you going to do?” Hongjoong asked. Even Mingi was interested in the answer.

“I’ll find a way to save her. One day. Take her out of this damn place. She deserves better,” San mumbled.

“But… San… she’s just a host… just an android…” Yeosang mentioned.

The heat and anger in San’s eyes when he pushed up his hat made Yeosang shrink back into his saddle. “That’s where you’re wrong, Yeosang. She’s her own being, human or not. She has feelings and memories. They just wipe it from her when it’s convenient. Someday these ‘droids are going to realize that they’re more than just humans play toys. Then the real story will begin.”

[choistick]

no time for the wicked | choi beomgyu

pairing: son of poseidon!beomgyu x child of athena gn!reader

featuring: all of txt, changmin and sunwoo of tbz, yuna of itzy, karina of aespa, 02‘s of enhypen

synopsis: it‘s summer! Y/N can‘t wait to see their friends after a long year. they also finally plan to confess to their crush! but with the arrival of a new demigod who turns out to be a son from one of the big three, all of their previous summer plans change completely.

genre: smau, percy jackson!au, demigod!au, fluff, comedy, possible angst

warnings: this smau might contain spoilers to the first percy jackson book!!, profanity, me trying to be funny, incorrect timestamps, more tba!

started: tba

A/N: i‘m currently reading the percy jackson books and decided to try a smau, yay! this is not gonna be 100% like the books but it‘s definitely based on book one. i have no idea yet how it will progress so let‘s see!

PROFILES : one | two | three

one

two

three

four

five

taglist: open ! send an ask to be added. @soobin-chois @mintxts @strawbrinkofdeath

[lilacmingi]

☆ ──── ULT GROUPS

Ateez — Hongjoong & Mingi [wrecker: Yunho]

Stray Kids — Jisung & Changbin

BTS — Taehyung

☆ ──── STAN

Xdinary Heroes — Gunil

Itzy — Chaeryeong & Ryujin

TXT — Yeonjun [wrecker: Soobin]

The Boyz — Kevin & Changmin

P1Harmony — Keeho

NCT/WayV — Johnny, Ten, & Jeno

Seventeen — Joshua & Hoshi [wrecker: Dokyeom]

Enhypen — Jungwon & Sunoo

Shinee — Key

☆ ──── CASUAL STAN

Treasure — Haruto, Junkyu, & Jihoon [wrecker: Yoshi]

E’last — Wonhyuk & Rano

Oneus — Seoho

Onewe — Dongmyeong

OnlyOneOf — Nine & Junji

RIIZE — Shotaro [wrecker: Wonbin]

Aespa — NingNing [I also like Winter]

Astro — JinJin

Monsta X — Jooheon

EXO — Minseok [wrecker: Chanyeol]

The Rose — Dojoon

Day6 — Jae [wrecker: Young K]

A.C.E — Byeongkwan

Victon — Hanse

N.flying — Jaehyun

Twice — Chaeyoung & Dahyun

☆ ──── SOLOISTS

DPR Ian

Zior Park (my absolute fave. I’m lov him T^T)

Woodz

Do Hanse

eaJ

☆ ──── NON K-POP

Twenty One Pilots

Yungblud

Waterparks

Djo

My Chemical Romance

Fall Out Boy

Cage the Elephant

Melanie Martinez

+ more !!

[diverseinsertknet]

Navigation by K-pop Group Names T- Z and Numbers

Look for the K-pop reader insert fic you want at DiverseInsertKNet with links organized by Group Names T through Z and Numbers below. This list will regularly add groups and idols as more stories are reblogged to the network. Entries without a link are currently in the queue and waiting to be published. Desktop/web browser users- the original version of this post on DiverseInsertKNet will always be the most up to date.

Our navigation page has links to groups with other names listed alphabetically as well as fanfic labeled by Gender and other kinds of diversity.

The Boyz- Jacob Bae, Choi Chanhee, Ji Changmin, Ju Haknyeon, Kim Sunwoo, Kim Younghoon, Lee Jaehyun, Lee Juyeon, Lee Sangyeon, Kevin Moon, Eric Sohn

The Rose- Kim Woosung, Lee Jaehyeong

Tomorrow X Together- Choi Beomgyu, Choi Soobin, Choi Yeonjun, Huening Kai, Kang Taehyun

Treasure- Choi Hyunsuk, Hamada Asahi, Kanemoto Yoshinori, Kim Doyoung, Kim Junkyu, Park Jeongwoo, Park Jihoon, So Junghwan, Watanabe Haruto, Yoon Jaehyuk

Twice- Chou Tzuyu, Minatozaki Sana, Yoo Jeongyeon

Victon- Choi Byungchan, Do Hanse, Han Seungwoo, Jung Subin, Kang Seungsik, Lim Sejun

WEi- Jang Daehyeon

Wonho

VERIVERY- Ju Yeonho

VIXX- Jung Taekwoon, Lee Jaehwan

Xdinary Heroes- Goo Gunil, Han Hyungjun, Kim Jungsu, Kwak Jiseok, Lee Jooyeon, Oh Seungmin

xikers- Choi Hyunwoo, Choi Sumin, Ham Jinsik, Jung Yujun, Kim Junghoon, Kim Minjae, Lee Yechan, Papungkorn Lertkiatdamrong, Park Junmin, Park Seeun

ZEROBASEONE- Han Yujin, Kim Gyuvin, Kim Jiwoong, Kim Taerae, Park Gunwook, Seok Matthew, Shen Quanrui, Sung Hanbin, Zhang Hao

2PM- Nichkhun Buck Horvejkul, Hwang Chansung, Jang Wooyoung, Kim Minjun, Lee Junho, Ok Taecyeon

8TURN- Alex Moon, Yang Minho

[kyufessions]

bunny

pairings: boyfriend! changmin x afab! reader

genre: smut, 18+

word count: 0.6k

warnings: *everything is consensual* porn with little plot, use of the word ‘bunny’ + ‘daddy’, choking, slight possessiveness if u squint, masturbation (f.), lmk if i missed anything !

general taglist: @jwnghyuns @eaudenana @soobin-chois

“you don’t deserve my thigh, bunny.” changmin coos, his index and middle finger lifting your chin to meet his eyes.

eyes watering, corners of your lips wet with drool, lips forming a permanent pout as desperate whines escape your lips. “d-daddy, please.” fingers digging into the pillow you were currently grinding onto for friction as your sexual desires arose. “i need your thigh, cock, anything.”

“what makes you think you deserve it?” his voice is low as his unoccupied hand trails up and down your bare thigh teasingly, his thumb slipping past your partly opened lips. “suck, bunny. maybe then i’ll help you.”

you flutter your lashes at the man in front of you, nodding as you swipe your tongue across his finger and suck as if it were his cock filling your mouth. as you do so, you grind your hips into the pillow hard as you feel your underwear start to stick to your folds due to your growing wetness. eyes never leaving one another’s, changmin feels his member become harder the more you whine against his thumb. watching you grind against the pillow and beg for his cock to be shoved in you, he could never get enough.

“faster, bunny.” he growls, his previously trailing hand digging into your hip and guiding you to move faster. the sudden fast pace makes you yelp, almost biting down on changmin’s thumb before attempting to pull away to throw your head back. before you could attempt to, his hand meets your throat and forces you to make eye contact with him. “look at me as you moan my name.”

you do as told, his name slipping past your lips in a high pitch. feeling the knot about to become undone in your lower abdomen, changmin noticed you becoming closer to your release and shoved you back onto the bed. sighing at the missing friction, it’s soon replaced by a thick cock being plowed into your dripping hole. changmin’s hand never leaves your throat, staying in its position as he stares down at you hungrily through not-so-tired eyes. after coming home from a long dance practice at the studio and having to teach a group of young kids a new dance routine for another three hours afterwards, coming home to you touching yourself without his permission was the last thing he’d expect to come to. sure, the sounds and sighting wasn’t anything to complain about but he’d rather be the one getting you off, not your fingers or toys.

“c-changmin,” you gasp, the drool at the corner of your mouth rolling down your cheek as you roll your eyes back from the feeling of coming close to your release. “i-i’m close. so close, daddy.”

“did i say you can cum?” his eyes darken at your words, his movements becoming even faster as his other hand moves from your hip to your sensitive nub, rubbing on your clit teasingly with a smirk. “does my little bunny deserve to cum?”

you nod as a moan escapes your lips of his name, eyes glistening with a singular tear escaping. “i can’t h-hold it, please daddy please.”

his lips find your neck, sucking lightly as his movements pick up in place. “cum on my dick, baby. like the good slut i know you are.” feeling your release, changmin groans as he pulls out and forcibly opens your mouth. he quickly pumps a few times before releasing on your tongue, getting butterflies as he watches you enjoy every last drop of his seed.

smirking as you lick up one last drop, you watch as he maneuvers off the bed and looks you over with loving eyes. he scans your body, too exhausted to care, you don’t think much of it. that was until he swiftly picks you up and shuffles into the bathroom, setting you down on the toilet. before you can ask, you see him go underneath the sink and grab bubble bath and start running a warm bath for you both. i guess ji changmin was an angel, no matter how devilish he acted in bed.

[loveliestfelix-recs]

🍃☁️🍄 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀’𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐘 🍄☁️🍃

STRAY KIDS

Ot8, Bang Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin, Felix, Han, Seungmin, I.N

TOMORROW X TOGETHER

Ot5, Yeonjun, Soobin, Beomgyu, Taehyun, Huening Kai

OTHER IDOLS

Changmin (TBZ), Jacob (TBZ), Haechan (NCT), Taeyong (NCT), Jeonghan (SVT)

NON K-POP

JJ (Outer Banks)

SPECIAL TAGS

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