#sonyawix

[goldeneyedgirl]

Sonya! (Imagine, for a moment, that Tumblr Staff actually fixed the bug that means I have to screenshot and tag you @sonyawix for replies.) I missed you!

Jasper's just there realising that a couple of decades of training and practice with the Cullens was no match for a tiny teenage girl who looks at him like he's the second coming. She did more for his self-esteem in one night than anyone has done for him since he was human.

Jasper's softer in STL and his trauma has already been sorted, organised, and filed in his mental storage unit so he just has to simp over worry about Mary-Alice. Mary-Alice has the trauma conga-line but it gets pretty soft for both of them starting next chapter.

But it's why Jasper chapters are usually easier to write.

And listen, we all switch hyperfixations. I read a whole bunch of MCU fics that had Correct Vibes but Incorrect Takes, and beautililies had to stop me from writing MCU fic before I worked on Jalice fics. Also the idea I am carrying 70% of your Jalice experience is fucking wild. What do you want? I feel like I need to give you something because 2024 was not my most active year ever.

My little Mabel has recovered from the infections she had well, but decided to keep things interesting and acquired an ear infection which has since been upgraded to a double ear infection because what's more fun than a lot of credit card debt? Even more credit card debt! She is why I can only stare longing at Coach bags and not own fun stuff like that.

And honestly, I join you in solidarity that my sister and father are also Shitty Fucking People. Sometimes, people are rancid, and we just need to salute their bullshit and carry on our merry way.

It is law that if you bring up Anathema, I post something. I picked this scene WIP because Alice being a dramatic teenage girl is somehow so funny in my head? I can't wait to get to a scene where she's dramatic in front of Jasper and he's just "...you're adorable, you know that right?" And she's like, "absolutely not."

But for now, Alice makes a small scene.

“This is to never get back to the Clearwaters,” I could hear Freddie saying to Charlie Swan in a low voice. “Any of them. I trust you, Charlie.”

Charlie sighed. “Fred, I’ve known you a long time, and I don’t like this at all. What is so important you have to meet with them alone, without Sue and Billy knowing?"

Silence, and I was tempted to creep up the hallway to be able to hear better.

“… This is about Alice and her well-being. If… I have reason to believe that if Sue, Harry, and Billy knew more about Alice’s … health and genetic make-up, they would be deeply unhappy."

That was most likely an understatement. I had a feeling that if Sue found out that I was biologically half-vampire, I would be persona-non-grata in the Clearwater household. There was a fifty-percent chance that Harry would hunt me for sport, honestly. His aim with a shotgun was second-to-none.

//

Dr Cullen had brought his wife, and there was something almost funny seeing them in our home - they were both dressed in very stiff, fancy clothing, standing in the entrance looking awkward. I was in the kitchen finishing the washing up in pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt; both Freddie and Charlie were still wearing work clothing.

The apartment was still mostly in the late 60s style from when it was built. Lots of brown and yellow. Freddie always intended to renovate, but we never seemed to get around to it - moving all the books would take us days, and we’d have to stay downstairs. It was cozy up here, and if we made any changes, it would be to clean out the third floor.

“Hello Alice.” Mrs Cullen smiled so warmly at me, but I felt oddly shy, offering a little wave as I put plates back into the cupboard.

“Turn on the coffee maker, love, before you go,” Freddie said, and I got the message that this wasn’t going to be a meeting I was included in. I wasn’t upset about that; somehow Dr and Mrs Cullen were far and away more intimidating than Jasper was. Somehow the golden eyes and the pale skin that looked so right on him made me nervous around them.

Thankfully, Dulcie was having dinner with her brother’s family tonight. It meant we could have this meeting at home and she’d probably bring home left-over dessert. Hopefully that really good blueberry donut thing that Mrs Stanley usually made for Dulcie’s birthday.

It also meant that whilst I had been told I wouldn’t be joining in on the meeting today, there was no one in the house that would check to make sure I was wearing headphones and watching movies on my laptop instead of eavesdropping for all I was worth. And in my defence, I had to know what Freddie was telling everyone so I didn’t mess up the story later on. It was just planning ahead.

//

“He can read minds?” I shrieked, giving myself away instantly.

Charlie Swan swore, sloshing his coffee in surprise, as the rest of them spun around to look at me in the hallway.

“Alice,” Freddie groaned but I didn’t care that I would be doing extra cleaning this week or whatever as punishment.

A girl’s mind is private. There are things happening up there that die with me, okay?

Things like me contemplating the logistics of having sex on a gurney now that I’d met Jasper and realised he was a foot and a half taller than me, and probably 100lb heavier.

Or the fact that whilst my visions hadn’t been instructional, so to speak, they had given me a certain amount of reference material to reflect on. I might never have been a Girl Scout, but I do like to be prepared.

And the idea that one of the Cullens could mind-read and had probably told the entire family that a good fifty-percent of my brain power was solely dedicated to what I had seen of Jasper’s body in my vision at any time was… not ideal. Not at all how I planned to integrate myself into their lives. I was aiming for lovable future daughter-in-law, not mouth-breathing creeper.

“Edward considers the contents of everyone’s mind private, unless harm would result in keeping it secret,” Mrs Cullen quickly reassured me. Please. I had seen Leah and Seth together; I knew what siblings were like. There was no way in hell that Jasper hadn't been informed that I had absolutely noticed he was ripped when he helped me up.

“I’m taking a lot of emotional damage learning this,” I said slightly hysterically. “Can he hear everything?”

“Only when he’s present.” Was Dr Cullen laughing at me? He looked amused.

“Alice,” Freddie sounded tired. “There are brownies in the downstairs freezer if you want some dessert.”

Huh. It was bad if Freddie was bribing me with the catering supplies.

“That would help,” I said, trying to walk through the kitchen to get a knife with some kind of dignity. “You understand why I would be uncomfortable with a teenage boy reading my mind, right?”

“I think we’re all on the same page about that,” Charlie said. He didn’t look amused.

"Alice, I really don't think there's anything in your head that Edward Cullen would worry about," Freddie said, obviously trying to sound comforting and mostly made me want to slam my head against a wall.

"I've had unmonitored access to the internet since I was eleven and no boyfriend! Or girlfriend! There's plenty up there I don't want Jasper's brother knowing!" I snatched up the cake knife and looked over to see Freddie looking like he needed a drink, Charlie Swan looking the most uncomfortable I had ever seen him - and that included the ass-injury incident - and Mrs Cullen trying very unsuccessfully not to laugh at me.

"And now I've made it worse. I'm calling Cynthia!"

It's not the fact that my father was a vampire that makes me a freak. I manage to do that all by myself.

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

I found post which mentions, that, while english is your second language, you write insanely good fiction in it.

As a fellow non-native English speaker, and an aspiring writer, can I get some tips at how you started writing in English, and how you get to the point, where you are good at it?

Like, a process, please? Thank you very much, off to explore your blog now!

My friends are exaggerating a bit. I'm definitely not anywhere near insanely good. But I do think I've progressed a lot since I started writing in English in February 2019. (Before that I'd only written in my native language Finnish.) Here are my two cents anyway since you asked so nicely!

Read! Literally the most important thing you can do is read in English and not just read for pleasure (which is obviously very important and will help you learn, too) but read with the purpose of learning. Look at the way the authors use language: how they form a paragraph, how they vary sentence lengths, what kind of metaphors they use, where they put the commas and em dashes. Also, take note of any words you're not sure you understand completely and go look for the definitions. Investigative reading is the jam!

I know this is super obvious, but just start writing in English and do your best. It can be daunting in the beginning and you'll probably make mistakes, but that's totally okay. Fic writing is an amazing space to learn writing, because the story is more important than the grammar and you'll get positive feedback even if the language is not 100% correct.

If you can, find a native speaker to beta read for you. If they are willing, ask for them to explain their corrections. That way you'll actually understand what was amiss and there's a better chance you'll remember next time.

If you can't find a native speaker there are some AI helpers you can try. I used Grammarly in the beginning. It's a good help but leans more into business-type language rather than creative writing, so I wouldn't take its corrections at face value. Another one I've heard people using and liking is ProWritingAid.

Read what you've written out loud to yourself. We tend to hear the mistakes better than see them. If you don't want to/can't read out loud due to sharing a space with someone, you can use AI again. I use NaturalReader.

Don't get too caught up in the small stuff. Even native English speakers make grammar mistakes and everyone makes typos.

Write as much as you can. Write in different styles. Write drabbles. Write long fic. It doesn't really matter just as long as you keep writing. The good and bad news is that the best way to learn is to put words on paper (or a screen). (My first year of writing in English, I wrote over 500k words of fic. I still have no idea how I managed that. Hyperfixation is a super power, I guess.)

After a little while, go back and read stuff you wrote before. I bet it won't take long for you to start noticing a difference in your abilities.

Have fun with it!

[volturialice]

K / N

Im curious) ❤️

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

this is such a copout answer because the fic in question is shelved/hiatused and I have no intention of picking it back up anytime soon unless I'm suddenly struck with inspiration for a middle, but it's the setup of Steadfast. which I won't spoil just in case—the most I can say is that the concept came from me thinking about how chill alice is about all jasper's war crimes etc and asking myself "what would jasper [in any universe] have to do to make alice hate him?" and running with that. sorry I'm lame about this and refuse to be more specific 😔

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

answered! but I guess you could also count shannon's The Hunted, which was literally me throwing out a fic idea and going "hmm I wish someone would write this for me I bet it would be cool" and then she did and it was

fanfic ask game

[gashousegables]

Just here to tell you, I swallowed up all the chapters of The Greyhound in one go one night, and how fascinating of a ride its been. How do you come up with such exceptional concepts? What your steps/routine when its comes to getting an idea to its execution? I am so utterly curious!

I would love to read more Jasper/Alice stories written by your hand in the future! Is there any future stories of them? As a huge Jalice-junky, I would love to hear if you have any ideas for them! And anything, really. Do you like writing them? What your fav pairing to write? Thank you!❤️

You read The Greyhound!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I was just thinking about The Greyhound I did like what I tried to do there ....

I have a lot of fics in the works, plenty of them Jalice-related! The longest slog right now is an AI-centric fic and a cult-kid-AU

How do I come up with ideas? There's no steps or routines I think to myself 'wouldn't this be cool?' and then I do it. But when broken down the concepts themselves aren't exceptional but they are all inspired by other things that take my interest outside of Twilight. But twilight is the baseline so they just merge together in my head.

I watched a bunch of mob movies? Keep Your Teeth. I love folklore and murder ballads and Treasure Planet? The Greyhound. I love sci-fi? In Case of Emergency. Highschool AUs or Apocalypse AUs aren't new but they can be very exciting to try your hand at!

I want to explore so many different genres and style of writing. I want to be able to convincingly write in distinctly different 'ways'. I don't want Keep Your Teeth or ICOE to sound like they were from the same author exactly. Like I want it to be a connection someone makes in the middle of reading.

If that makes sense. I am trying to be a more eloquent person but I'm just not that bih

[goldeneyedgirl]

@sonyawix I'm not a total monster. I'm not committing over 100k to killing Alice off.

Basically, Alice has all the vulnerabilities of being human. She can be poisoned, stabbed, get sick etc. I'm not going to spoil the entire fic, but Carlisle and Jasper have A Plan. But the idea that one of the most dangerous veterans of the South has this comparably fragile soul mate is a nice area of tension, and we get wildly overprotective Jasper which is always fun to play with. Not mention, having to balance the needs of someone who is fundamentally human being balanced with vampire expectations etc

I am absolutely not setting up this entire fic for Jasper to only have 60 years with Alice. That's so depressing and we need more joy in the world.

[goldeneyedgirl]

@sonyawix okay I found THREE possibilities for this passage because I know how annoying it is when you want to read one specific passage and you cannot find it.

The first is Alice's call-out in Infidelity Verse right here at the bottom, where she basically says, "you suck, goodbye," and Jasper is pretty much destroyed by the scale of hurt and misery he's created. I know it's not ATBT, but it was the first thing that popped to mind.

Then there is this little one-shot about Alice's feelings when she's leaving the Cullens right here

Then there is the scene where Jasper is reflecting three years after Alice leaves which has a bedfellows mention but I have zero memory of every posting it, so it's below. I think this summer's project might be fixing and creating a master tags list for my fics. ANYWAY, if these aren't it, let me know, and I'll do a deep dig into my files..

Yeah, ATBT is far sadder. STL has hope. It's right in the title, it's in every chapter. There's always hope, and I've made no secret that Jasper and Mary-Alice get a happy ending. ATBT is devoid of a lot of hope in the first draft. A bit of a trauma conga-line, really.

I'm hoping that I'll have enough of ATBT drafted that I'll be updating on a regular schedule - especially since some of the chapters are very short. So much more was prewritten than STL (it was supposed to be a one-shot) and it follows along the canon timeline, so there won't be giant waiting periods as I marinate in what comes next.

Let me know if these are the right sections!

It is three years before they see her again, and it is during a visit to Denali.

They are still based in New Hampshire for Bella’s first attempt at college, in a huge, sprawling house that sees a veritable revolving door of guests – Charlie, the wolves, and various friends whom have renewed ties with the Cullens since the Volturi debacle. It actually feels empty when they aren’t hosting guests. But there is always laughter, always joy, with Renesmee amongst them.

There is a small bedroom next to his study, painted blue and white, that Esme will not speak about except to say that, “it’s here for her when she’s ready,” as she hangs up a scant handful of clothing in the cavernous closet. The flowers in the vase on the dresser are changed as soon as they droop, and not a speck of dust lies on a single surface. The bookcase is neatly arranged with books and brand new art supplies, and Jasper wonders how Esme knew which books, which paints to buy, and there is a new wave of shame that he doesn’t.

What does he know about her, truly? Has she ever told him something about herself? Her likes, her preferences, her hopes? Did Esme choose blue paint because she knew Alice liked blue?

He ventures into the room some days and just stands there. He wants her in there, folded into the armchair, with a book open in her lap, her fingers tracing the words. Looking up at him with that special look that he could never quite decipher. Something hopeful, something desperate. He knew he could lead her anywhere when she wore that look, and he hated himself for it.

Loneliness has been his bedfellow for so long, it feels cheap and weak to acknowledge it now. Before Forks, before Bella and Alice, he and Edward were the loners, brothers and comrades. He had never spoken to Edward about it, the idea that there might be someone out there for him that was a perfect match, his absolution, but he hadn’t earned it. He had been monstrous and deserved no such prize.

Her absence aches. A tangle of guilt and longing that never leaves.

[goldeneyedgirl]

@sonyawix I got the email notification of this ask, but it hasn't shown up in my inbox, so I have to answer it this way. At least I know I'm not delusional about seeing ask notifications but having nothing new.

Mary-Alice/Feral Jasper was a request from SalmonCentre/@lambdarubisco many moons ago that I started and have not finished and is ultimately just a silly little love story about Jasper remembering how to be a person after years walled up underground, and Mary-Alice self-nominating to protect him at all costs. They have little secret meetings in the woods behind the house.

Oh, and basically all of the Cullens (who found Jasper) assume that Mary-Alice is the figment of Jasper's trauma and isn't real. Except Emmett. Emmett stumbles across them together and is like "Oh wow, she's real. Didn't expect that."

It's more light-hearted than STL because Mary-Alice didn't have visions of Jasper until the Cullens were on the path to free him. She had no hope for anything better and was just living her life until she hit the bricks in search of the one in her visions. She is genuinely horrified that Jasper was imprisoned and she could have helped him, but she didn't understand what she was seeing.

Very self indulgent, but I am entirely encouraged by Lilia and beautlilies in my nonsense. It's one of the three AU standalones for STL that I'll finish when STL is complete.

Angel Alice/Feral Jasper was a request from someone in my ask box a hot minute ago and I have to confirm with the Feral Jasper Overlords (mtwalker and salmoncenter) that utilising him again is acceptable. I have thoughts, I just need to get them into order. But the idea of barely-healed Jasper finding sickly Alice and trying his best to protect her and care for her. We're here for soft little romantic moments.

I exist entirely to creep up behind you and suggest scenarios with Alice and Jasper and then run cackling off into the night with my propeller hat spinning wildly.

[goldeneyedgirl]

Oh wow, I absolutely AM going to lose my shit, if you would write a one-shot with Jasper and Rose as solo survivors. And I also would scream when you write this back-in-Forks outtake. My man would have a heart attack, when he finds out where his wifey is off to, lol. The Snap didn’t kill him for good, so, Alice’s run to Avengers will.

Also, love the Avengers reaction to Seth.❤️

I always had, like, a plan to write a one-shot of what happens if Jasper, Rose, Esme, and possibly Edward are the survivors because that is just a cocktail of disaster.

The outtake is all planned out and it is literal fucking chaos - you have the Cullens back, you have Bella back, you have the Clearwaters back and the Cullen house is trashed, with guns stacked over the table, and someone has taken over the spare room at the top of the stairs and it smells like wet dog; you have Sue and Leah losing their minds about the Clearwater house; Carlisle's rematerialized in a hospital that suddenly has 50% more patients...

Oh, and no one knows where Emmett, Alice, or Seth are. It's going to be so fun, I can't wait to write it!

[goldeneyedgirl]

@sonyawix Ask Box Nonsense continues, I'm waiting on support to see why your messages refuse to show up in my inbox.

Also, thank you 🥹 I have so much fun writing Vampire Jasper dealing with shenanigans from human/hybrid/cryptid/angel/[redacted] Alice. He's too old for Shenanigans but also he's nineteen years old and smitten.

I just need a list of different supernatural creatures so I can work my way down to make sure I haven't missed anything with potential 😎 (And I've had some thoughts about Vampire Alice/other creature!Jasper recently, but those are way, way down the list.)

Veteran Alice is a guilty pleasure and utterly insane, so I adore writing her.

Thank you for tolerating my nonsense, also. I know me flinging various versions of Alice Cullen into the void is an acquired taste, and I love that you are having a good time as well!

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hello!

Stumbled upon Infidelity verse wip just now, read it. Cried. Wanna more of this total joint of glass❤️

LMAO, that fic is Divisive and it's getting a full rewrite because the existing draft isn't hitting the points I want it to. It all boils down to two people who had trauma being forced into roles they weren't ready for, and a relationship that didn't have the time to go through the natural stages, and the mess that it makes - as well as Bella's absolute phobia of aging and death, and her determination to protect herself through any means possible.

So, uh, the new version might look a lot different to what's there now, but it'll be better.

[goldeneyedgirl]

hi! Not sure if you recognize me, but its sonyawix. My old account got lost and I made a new one)

Anyway, my question is: Which one of your Jalice wips you think as the agstiest? For me, as a reader, I can't pick between STL and ATBT.

I'm SO SORRY that you lost your account, that sucks. This is such a late reply, I'm also insanely sorry about that.

I think that ATBT is angstier because ATBT!Alice goes through so much misery. Mary-Alice has trauma but has never been tortured to the degree ATBT!Alice has. For the most part, Mary-Alice was treated like a solider - Maria didn't routinely torture her people for fun. Where as ATBT!Alice has spent every moment since she awoke being tortured and tormented by James; anything he could do, he did. She has no fighting skills, nothing but visions of a future she literally missed out on.

Not to mention, Jasper and Mary-Alice are almost on the same page. ATBT!Alice has to deal with a depressed, bitter, and very different Jasper than STL.

I do forget how much ATBT I've posted, and I don't think we've really gotten to see Jasper's own trauma. He comes across as kind of an asshole in some parts, but he's got his own brand of trauma to work through that DOES get addressed.

I am, of course, constantly trying to out-angst myself but I really haven't topped ATBT yet. We'll see what happens next.

[goldeneyedgirl]

@sonyawix listen, at this point, I'm moving Anathema up in the fic schedule because the ideas are Occurring and I am having so much fun with this fic right now.

We have a hot few things to get through before Jasper gets that hug. But he's definitely established Esme as an ally in getting closer to Alice. Because she remembers when they met him, and the truth is they were suspicious and afraid of him. He's been the first line of defense for the Cullen family since he joined them. And yes, he's their brother and 'son', but Esme can't deny what he's saying and she's heartbroken that it's true.

And like, Jasper definitely gets his hug. They end up fucking on an autopsy table, and the hug comes way before that.

I really need a proper outline and a timeline for this fic immediately. There are so many moving parts, we're gonna have a great time!

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hey! @sonyawix

This is an interesting take and I had to consult with the Holder of the Jalice Braincells (@volturialice) to really break this down.

It sounds like the author of that take is kind of more interested in perfect, idealized relationships and might not be a fan of Alice, honestly. Plus SMeyer made a lot of the relationship dynamics in canon a really odd thing - we see all three Cullen relationships as very one-dimensional because of the relationship triptych I've ranted about before.

Because of Alice's backstory and her gift, we know that she's going to be a bit of a weirdo. She's essentially bet everything she has that the pictures in her brain are a path to happiness, that Jasper will make her happy. She has no reference point to interpersonal relationships beyond her visions, she has no memories of humanity; we really aren't shown exactly what level she was functioning at when she woke up. Those 28 missing years would be fascinating in how she built herself into a functional individual, honestly.

She bets everything on Jasper, and I think that shows what an optimistic, determined person she is. She could have gone to the Cullens straight away and probably would have been welcomed warmly - there's nothing in canon indicating that wasn't an option. But for whatever reason, Alice commits to waiting for Jasper. That's loyalty and dedication and love.

Just because their meeting was fated/planned doesn't mean it isn't meaningful.

So Alice seeing Jasper for all those years is not going to necessarily match up with him in real life. It's one thing to know a person has trauma, it's entirely another to meet that traumatized, depressed person. It's one thing to get the greatest hits of the relationship pumped straight into the brain, it's another to have all those small moments, those in-between times.

We know from Jasper's time with Maria that he tends to deify the women he's involved with. He put both Maria and Alice on a pedestal. That's just how he loves and commits - fully and totally. His 'hyperfocus' on Alice is a sign of how much he loves and treasures her. I honestly don't think it would have mattered how or when they met, Jasper would have treated her the same - the most precious thing he has.

We also know that Jasper has spent the best part of one hundred years in a high-stress environment where nothing was guaranteed. He didn't trust Maria at the end. So being introduced to someone who could tell him which path would be safe? Where there was no risk or fighting? I think that would be an incredible support for Jasper. I imagine in the early days, he'd probably ask Alice to check the future more than necessary because of his PTSD. And I can imagine Alice checking every time he asked, and going over all the details with love and patience.

And we know that Jasper does go against her wishes - he disagreed with her decision to return to Forks when Alice thought she had died, and Alice went alone (side note, if Jasper had gone with her, there was an opportunity for a lot of Eclipse set up right there.)

As for dehumanizing all her relationships, Alice is very distinctively trying to help throughout the series. It might be over the top, and it might not go to plan, but all of her visions and guidance are meant to help the people she loves. Alice has never known life without her sixth sense, so of course she uses it like we use our five senses. Does it give her a God-complex? Yes. Do I think it's meant to be more of a nod to Meyer's insistence on calling her a 'pixie' and utilizing fae imagery since fairies in lore are supported to love helping? Absolutely.

I think it's pretty disingenuous to say that people are 'ideas' to Alice when she was changed and abandoned. It's more likely that Alice is more intensely aware of what makes them happy so that they all stay together and she's not left alone again. If she didn't see people as people, but as chess pieces, then she wouldn't have go to see Charlie when she thought Bella was dead; she wouldn't have gone to Volterra to save Edward; she wouldn't have taken Jasper with her to find the hybrid.

So yeah, I disagree pretty strongly with this because it feels more like a way to minimize and dismiss Alice and her relationship with Jasper. But this is just my take on the character, and I'm sure there are dozens of different readings and interpretations out there!

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicmas23 Day 8: Mary-Alice & Feral Jasper

Good evening!

Tonight we're opting for some Mary-Alice & Feral Jasper because @sonyawix deserves nice things, and these two are so cute to write. It's a soft and gentle little fic where they get to be cute and awkward together.

This is a bit of a patchwork of bits and pieces from throughout the fic, and kind of establishes some of the dynamic.

I am off to sleep for eight hours and procrastinate over tomorrow's post! I hope you enjoy this!

She watches him from the bower of the tree, as he picks his path away from his coven. She’s lucky she’s downwind; her visions show her that they won’t scent her from this perch. 

And she finally gets to see him in person. 

He’s very tall and lean, but he walks slightly stooped and she wonders why. He looks like he’s waiting for a blow to fall, and she doesn’t like that at all. His hair looks clean and is pulled back from his face, and his clothes are … better than hers, at least. She had to rip up a shirt into strips and knot them tightly into a belt to make her dress sit a little better, and it was filthy and torn. His are ill-fitting and worn, but they aren’t dirty. 

His eyes are still black, and that worries her. She cannot think of any vampire whose eyes have remained black for so long, not even when Maria was holding hostages to get more information.

But she doesn’t know how long he was locked away, and she knows nothing about torpor. Mary-Alice has never been around a vampire that wasn’t healed up in a day or two. Or rather, they’d never kept any soldier that wasn’t healed that fast unless they had a special reason to keep them. This kind of injury is entirely foreign to her. 

//

The girl appears from the trees in a split second, as if she’s materialised from  thin air, and there’s enormous relief that he’s not imagining her, like the Cullens think, and he’s not going mad. There was someone watching him

He stares at her with unbridled fascination. 

She’s so … beautiful. Wide red eyes, a pale face framed in uneven black hair with hopeful little curls. She’s tiny, she doesn’t come up to the middle of his chest, and as thin as a dancer. Her clothing is shredded and filthy, there’s blood and mud on her dress indiscriminately. She’s a new kind of vampire, not like the Cullens, and not like the kinds that he can vaguely remember from his past. There’s something wild about her, like she’s just been formed out of the trees and dirt around them, and he likes that.

The scars take a moment for him to notice. They are littering her bare arms and legs, some of them faded and worn into the fabric of her skin, some of them fresher. There’s a nasty one over her eye, and he’s suddenly intensely aware of his own scars. He remembers the pain that came with them, the suffering, and he hopes this girl hasn’t fallen victim to the same misery he only remembers in fragments of agony and rage and fear. 

“Hello?” His voice is still more of a rasp; his healing is slow, and it’s embarrassing to show such weakness to her. He’s also not the one who usually speaks first, and he wonders if he should have waited. He doesn’t know. Usually, the Cullens correct him if he makes a mistake, but they aren’t here. 

It took him weeks to convince them that he was well enough to go on walks alone. He’s grateful that Emmett took his side. He’s got nowhere to run to; he doesn’t understand this world and how it works, and he knows that until he heals, he probably wouldn’t survive long. 

But Esme worried so much, as if the foxes and deer in the woods might be the thing that carried him off. 

He’s rather tickled that only his second time out alone, and he’s found… her. Except, she just studies him with a blank look; not anger but no pleasure or joy. Just quiet consideration, and he wonders too late if she’s planning to attack him. 

//

He looks better. 

She likes that. 

He’s clean and wearing new clothing, and not stooping any longer. His eyes are a funny gold-tinted colour but he’s been feeding - they’re lighter and they’re clearer now, no longer clouded over. Good, that’s good; she’s oddly grateful that the Cullens know how to help him because she had asked Maria casually about some of the injuries he’d bore, and Maria had not had the faintest clue about what she spoke of. It had made her suspicious, which had slowed down her escape exponentially. 

She might still be annoyed about that. She could have been here weeks ago if Maria hadn’t decided to be difficult. 

Jasper seems calm and curious as he moves closer to her; but he’s still limping. And it does frustrate her that the Cullens have let him out to roam the forest without warnings that he shouldn’t be approaching strange vampires. Anyone else might have taken his head before he realised they were even there. 

Something else she’ll have to explain to him then. She’s got a mental list of things already, and she wasn’t expecting to stay that long, truly - just long enough to make sure that he was okay and safe. Then she was going to go and see what snow was like. 

It looked nice in the pictures she’d seen. 

He’s getting worried now, at the silence since he greeted her, and that’s her fault. She’s not used to having people to talk to - unless she was fucking them or they had a particular gift (well, at least, one that was common knowledge), Maria liked her soldiers silent. 

“They’re taking good care of you,” she says abruptly and wonders when she lost the ability to converse with others normally, and not like a soldier. 

“Who? The Cullens?” He stops and gives her a strange look. “Do you… know the Cullens?” The words rasp and catch in his throat, and he struggles to form the entire sentence, as if he’s trying to find and catch each word. Definitely still healing, and it sounds painful and dry when he speaks. 

Perhaps she can convince him to hunt more often to try and speed up the process. There’s a town less than an hour’s run from this place, it wouldn’t be hard for him to slip away and return before the family even knew. 

“Mmm. I wanted to … I wanted to make sure you were safe.” Her words are flat and short, and she can see his uncertainty. 

//

Emmett recognises the longing in Jasper’s eyes as he stares after the small girl wading in the lake. It’s pretty much the same look that Emmett had on his own face when he woke up and saw Rosalie - properly saw her - for the first time. 

Mary-Alice is really strange, but it doesn’t take rocket science to realize she’s had a bad time - even just the overlapping scars on her arms tell a story of violence and fear, but it’s in every part of her - by the way she moves, the way that she watches and stares, the way she speaks in the flat, even voice devoid of emotion, in short sentences. Wherever she came from, it wasn’t a good place, and Emmett’s oddly pleased that she’d found them - even if she was only hanging around because of Jasper like a stray cat, a thought that made him chuckle to himself - and had looked vaguely disgusted with the idea of spending time with the rest of the family.  

Of course, the rest of the family still thought Mary-Alice was some kind of imaginary coping-mechanism for Jasper that they were tentatively ignoring, so maybe she was offended. 

He should be grateful, actually. It’s taken a few weeks for Mary-Alice to stop glaring at him, to stop prowling around like some kind of jungle cat and freeze up, the second he appears. She’s still distant and rigid whenever Emmett appears, but she doesn’t treat him like he’s a danger anymore. And maybe he’d believe that this was trust and the path to friendship, except he’s seen her with Jasper.

When she’s focused on Jasper, there’s a gentleness in every aspect of her. She’s softer with him, patient and sweet. And she revolves around him like she’s his bodyguard against the world. She almost fusses over him, demanding to know when he’s hunted and how he’s healing. Emmett’s nearly certain he’s caught her smelling Jasper’s hair and clothing - perhaps to make sure he’s clean? Mary-Alice doesn’t seem to give much thought to her own state of cleanliness or her clothing, but Jasper’s are clearly important to her. And the way she stares up at Jasper - Mary-Alice has to be the tiniest vampire that Emmett’s ever seen, and Jasper’s only a few centimetres shorter than him - with this look that he suspects might have human feelings behind them.

Jasper would know better than him, though. But on the few attempts Emmett’s made to ask about that, Jasper’s given him a flat, stubborn look and refused to speak. 

So the longing is probably reciprocated - maybe. Alice just hides it better, behind a wall of protectiveness and anti-social personality traits. Emmett honestly can’t work out why she’d be caring and smelling and fussing over his brother if she didn’t care. 

But Emmett also worries; Jasper was walled up alone for so long that they’ve practically had to resocialize him. He remembered so little of human interaction that it had been a war zone at home for a while. Even now, he still had so many behaviours that Esme politely referred to as ‘quirks’ that they had to correct every day (and now Emmett’s wondering how many of the newer ‘quirks’ had been introduced or encouraged by Mary-Alice, who is practically a wild animal). The idea that Jasper is pining for a girl and all that a relationship entails…

Emmett really, really doesn’t want to have to give his new brother the sex talk.  And he knows if he tries to convince either Edward or Carlisle to step in and have the world’s most uncomfortable conversation, they’re going to want toknow why and then remind Emmett that they aren’t encouraging the idea that Mary-Alice is real. And if Mary-Alice isn’t real, then Jasper doesn’t need to suffer through the indignity of a sex-talk. 

It’s a mess. And Emmett’s relieved that Carlisle has decided not to introduce Jasper to the cousins yet because they all know that the sisters are incorrigible flirts, and he’s got a fifty on Jasper (and Mary-Alice) being utterly humourless about that kind of behaviour. 

Emmett also knows that if he tries to push Jasper into introducing Mary-Alice to the rest of the family, it will be a complete disaster. She’ll refuse point blank and then he will be persona non grata around her and … he doesn’t want to piss her off, and he doesn’t want to piss Jasper off. 

He also doesn’t want to have to refresh his brother’s memory on the mechanics of sex and why waiting to be fully healed might be the best choice …

He’s overthinking this. He should really stay out of it entirely. The thing is, he really wants this to work out for Jasper. He’s a good guy, if weird as fuck, and he deserves to have a nice home and a girlfriend that he’s madly in love with - even if the girl happens to be some scary little traumatized gremlin who Emmett can’t imagine smiling let alone being in love with someone. 

He really hopes this works out. 

—

[goldeneyedgirl]

@sonyawix I can't stop laughing, I take a few days off to recover and I got all your messages.

Okay, let's go. 1/3

Deaf Mary-Alice is just there to be wholesome and romantic and healing and acceptance. I probably will retcon some aspects of it in the future because the idea of Jasper being "I wonder if I should kiss her. Do we still do that? Can we? Has she moved on?" And Mary-Alice being "About time."

And yes, the Jane scene mirrors STL. Jasper lost his temper in both 'verses when Mary-Alice was attacked. He's never not going to defend his girl in any verse.

I love how much you love Anathema because that fic was such a random, rogue thing that occurred. 'I'll write a fun, silly romcom where Jasper falls in love with the daughter of a mortician' was the brief, and it got out of hand. If you think I had a plan for any of it, you are sorely mistaken and we're just going by what Vibes at this point. (I mean, I've got the plot now, but we're still going with what vibes.)

What I'm hearing is that I need to make this my Fall Fic and put my head down in Australian Fall to post the first few chapters for American Fall. Hmm.

<3 you Sonya, thank you so much for your messages, they always make me smile!

(2 and 3/3 coming tonight.)

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicmas23 Day 4: Anathema

Today has been a bit of a mess, and now we've had a small change of plans because today's intended fic is missing a chunk.

So we have two scenes from Anathema since @sonyawix asked so nicely. These follow on straight from Alice and Jasper's very awkward and public first meeting; Anathema is so fun to write honestly.

I hope everyone has a good day, and I'll be back tomorrow!

anathema

The car ride home from the meeting was silent, with both Freddie and I mulling over what had just transpired with the Cullens, and exactly what it meant for us.

Because there was one thing we didn’t want anyone to figure out, especially the council. 

And it was the fact that I wasn’t entirely human. I wasn’t just gifted. 

My biological father was a vampire. 

It was practically unheard of, according to Jeannie. Nearly impossible for a vampire to father a child, let alone for the mother to carry the pregnancy to term. And Jeannie had never heard, in all her family’s diaries and archives, of any of the mothers surviving the birth. 

My mom had been no exception. Lilian Brandon-Myer had died within moments of my birth, when I had ripped my way out of her body with her sharp little teeth. The human body isn’t designed to survive that kind of trauma. I keep telling myself that - there was no way anyone could have saved her. It was a damn miracle that she had even made it that far, really. 

I really didn’t know that much about her. She’d been twenty-seven years old, worked at an art gallery, and had been married for two years, to Richard. I had one memory of her, wispy and thin since I was only moments old - wide blue eyes in a thin, pale face; dark hair, and a lot of blood. She was probably already dead. 

My mother had been Freddie’s baby sister, and he had doted on her - I’d heard all the stories, how much he’d adored her. He’d been completely and utterly destroyed when my mother had died. Hell, Jeanie had alluded that she and Freddie had cared for her during her pregnancy, trying to keep her alive long enough to give birth. And then I had been born a freak of nature, growing so much faster than a human baby. They couldn’t dump me on social services when, by my first birthday, I was already the same as a human three-year-old. 

And Mom’s husband had been too… normal to take me, and I’m not sure he’d have wanted to; I was what killed her. He never would have been able to cope with the realities of the supernatural, let alone raising a vampire-human hybrid who aged three times faster than an ordinary child. Jeanie, at least, had one foot in the supernatural world, and generations of family lore and history to navigate raising me safely. 

She always said that she and Freddie had never been blessed with children of their own, so I was their special gift. I don’t know if either of us really believed that but it was a nice sentiment. 

Even my ‘sister’ wasn’t really any relation to me. Cynthia was Richard’s daughter with his second wife, and my one link to the real, normal world. I had no idea how Freddie convinced Rich to let us be raised as ‘sisters’, but I was grateful - I adored Cynthia, and I wish we could have spent more time together. Rich was actually a really nice guy; he called me on my birthday, and sent me gifts, and always told me that I was the spitting image of Mom and she would have been so proud of me. Honestly, everything I know about Mom, I got from Rich; Freddie never spoke of her, and Jeanie always promised she’d tell me more when I was older. 

“What are we going to do?” I asked softly, and Freddie sighed and shook his head. “D’you want me to go to the beach house?”

Freddie and Jeanie raised me in an isolated house near Neah Bay for the first couple of years, to keep me out of sight - Freddie commuted to the funeral home as needed. As far as the Forks’ locals knew, I had come into their custody when I was ‘twelve’; in reality, I was fully-grown at seven years old and was just slight enough to pass as a middle-schooler with a few adjustments - it’s amazing what a too-big dress and a pair of pink plastic glasses could do. I really had looked like a child being raised by an older couple; awkward and unfashionable. 

But we’d kept the beach house; Freddie and I drove up a few times a year to make sure it was maintained and secure. Freddie had gone to no small amount of trouble and expense to make sure that no one knew we owned the property, especially anyone in Forks. It had to stay as a safe house in case everything went sour. 

One thing that Jeanie was intensely aware of was the Quileutes’ history with the Cold Ones, and she swore that they could never, ever know about me. That she didn’t know what the Blacks and the Clearwaters would do if they found out about me. They would certainly argue that we couldn’t function as Mediators, because we couldn’t be impartial when my sperm donor was a vampire. There was a very, very good chance they’d banish me from the reservation, and hold me to the treaty - if not try and run Freddie and I out of town entirely. 

Or even try to hurt me. 

I hated that; the idea that Sue Clearwater - who had done so much heavy lifting in our household after Jeanie died - could turn on me. That Leah and I wouldn’t tease each other, or that I’d never be able to go down to La Push with the twins again. Besides, I was functionally human - I ate, I slept, I bled, I used the bathroom, I wasn’t venomous - Jeanie had run dozens of tests over the years. My heart-beat was faster than a humans, and I ran warm on a good day, but now that I was mature, I was just me. Just Alice Brandon, illegal mortician. 

And Jeanie and Freddie had established so many precautions over the years - Jeanie had avoided feeding me blood as a baby or any sort of meat - raising me as a vegetarian human - and to this day I wonder if that’s why I’m so small, that my growth was somewhat stunted. But it was a choice she made for my best interests, so I couldn’t hold any resentment for that. I had been kept away from other children and most other humans until I was fully grown and could understand the severity of the situation and how important the rules were; and even then, I had dozens of rules about things I could and couldn’t do, so not to ever reveal any similarity to vampires. 

But Jeanie was certain that Sue and Billy Black would basically turn me into a pariah if they ever caught wind of the situation, and she hadn’t wanted that for me. So, we had kept that a secret. We never spoke of it. 

But now that the Cullens were here, everything was at risk - would they know? Would they guess? Had they guessed? Vampire senses were so strong, and perhaps Jasper’s reaction to me had been because of my biology - would my reaction to Jasper Cullen clue anyone in, or could it be hand-waved away by my gift?

And if they did figure it out, would they tell the Council - perhaps use it as a bargaining chip to renegotiate the treaty?

I didn’t know. I couldn’t know; no decision had been made. But I didn’t want to discuss it with them, perhaps negotiate for their silence, in case they hadn’t worked it out. 

Ugh, I hated this so much. I was already mentally packing my bags to hide up in the beach house until we could guarantee I was safe. I’d have to stay there alone; Freddie had the funeral home to run. I’d be lonely and bored and worried, stuck in an old house that was full of ghosts. It was Jeanie’s house, and being there without her… I didn’t like it. 

We pulled up in front of the funeral home and Freddie looked at me. “It’s alright Alice,” he said finally, sounding tired. “We’ll go in and talk to the others, and worry about everything else tomorrow. There’s no need to panic, I promise.”

“I didn’t mean to cause trouble,” I said softly, and we both knew I wasn’t talking about my moment with Jasper. 

“I know, pet, I know.”

//

I made coffee faster than any living being in the world before hightailing it downstairs, to the funeral home’s parlour, where the meeting was happening. Or rather, five adults were having a nuclear meltdown.

“He will not be allowed anywhere near her!” Freddie’s face was bright red as he paced the room. “I want it added to the laws! He’s a damn monster, and I will not lose another…”

“We know, Freddie,” Sue sighed, arms crossed over her chest. “And we agree with you that the Cullens should be informed that Alice is off-limits.”

“But can we do that?” Charlie Swan looked exhausted. “Can he do that? Billy - one of the imprints; could one of the wolves physically stay away from their imprint? Does it work the same way for vampires?”

The Clearwaters and Billy Black exchanged looks. 

“I don’t know about vampires, but no, the wolf could not stay away from their imprint. We’ve seen it attempted before,” Billy said finally. “And most attempts do not last long. We don’t know what a long-term attempt would look like for the wolf or the imprint.”

“Sickness?” Charlie asked. “Feral behaviour? Violence? Madness? Death?”

They all exchanged glances and I decided it was time to make my presence known.

“You’re not going to hurt Jasper?” I asked in my most innocent voice, my eyes wide, and my lip trembling. It wouldn’t work on the Clearwaters, or Freddie - he was too upset - but I knew Charlie Swan wouldn’t be able to deal with a crying teenage girl.

Harry took the coffee tray from me as they all exchanged loaded looks. 

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” I said, sniffling. 

“Calm down, Alice,” Billy said in an even voice. “We’re just discussing our options.”

“I don’t like the idea that keeping them separated could result in violence,” Harry said grimly. “We can’t risk it.”

“But you’re willing to risk Alice?” Freddie exploded.

“He’s not ‘risking’ me!” I yelled back. “No one is! Jasper won’t hurt me!” I looked Freddie in the eye. “You know that!”

“None of us know that,” Freddie shot back. “And I refuse to stand by and let history repeat itself with those monsters!”

“Mom was attacked and raped by Red-Eyes!” I shot back. “The treaty said the Cullens can’t drink human blood! All Jasper wants to do is hold my hand and talk to me!”

Billy Black snorted, and I saw Sue and Harry exchange looks. 

“Alice, he was sniffing your hair,” Sue said slowly. “And the look on his face…”

I looked at her bewildered, and quickly ran through the overflow of visions I’d had. There were a couple that got… well. I would have protested doing that with such a large audience, and it was obvious that his brothers and sister wouldn’t have let him get very far. The fact that that was one of his initial reactions to me was… well, I was a little flattered, to be honest.  

“Oh,” I said, shaking my head. “No, he changed his mind, like, 30 times in less than a minute. That’s why my visions went haywire - my brain couldn’t process that much information that quickly. I think he was doing something, like he w-“

“He’s gifted?” Sue interrupted me. 

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d have to ask him. In person.”

Freddie was already shaking his head. “Absolutely not.”

“We negotiate. I’m sure the Cullens will be agreeable,” I said soothingly. “Chaperoned meetings, like in the olden days, for my protection. All above board and very G-rated. Hell, we can even sit here in the parlour. Just talking.”

“It would lower the risk of any sort of violence to get to Alice, it’s on neutral territory, and we have no idea what keeping them apart could do to Alice,” Harry sighed. “An imprint can feel the effect of a strained bond, it can take a toll on their long-term health…”

“It’s not happening!” Freddie threw up his hands. 

“Freddie, you need to listen to us,” Sue said, trying to act as peacekeeper. “I don’t know what a mate bond looks like in vampires or how it’s formed, but what we do know that in the wolves, it will actively hurt Alice to be kept away from him - she will get sick.”

“What if it was Leah? Or Jacob and the blonde vampire?” Freddie snapped back. “Or Isabella or Seth? Would you still be standing here, telling me that this is a-a risk I just have to accept? Even without Lilian…” Freddie put his face in his hands and took a shuddering breath. “Would you?” he glared at Sue.

Sue frowned. “That is a totally different situation, Fred,” she said evenly. “I don’t believe our genetics would allow such a bond to form. But if it were Leah, I would do every single thing I could to protect her from harm - the harm of a vampire and the harm of a broken bond. I would not allow my daughter to suffer in such a way.”

Freddie was shaking his head. “No, no, I don’t believe you. And Alice isn’t your daughter. She’s my niece. She’s staying right here. He can stay on the Cullen property! They’re never seeing each other again.”

“No.”

Everyone swung around to look at me, and I caught a look of myself in the mirror over the console table - I didn’t look like myself at all. My expression was hard and mutinous. My voice was stern and flat. 

“I don’t know what’s going on. I can only work through the visions I’ve had. But you cannot stop Jasper Cullen and I from seeing each other,” I said in that same, flat tone. There was a tight feeling in my chest, and all I could think of was that look of naked hope on Jasper Cullen’s face when I protested his brother’s roughness. His voice telling his alpha or father or whatever that I was his. He was also mine. 

Freddie was looking at me in horror, and even Harry was looking a little worried. 

“Alice…” Charlie sounded pained, and Billy had taken to gulping at coffee that he looked like he wanted to throw on me. 

“Better a chaperoned meeting than him climbing in her bedroom window, or running away with her,” Harry muttered and Freddie choked. 

“I promise that I will obey whatever guidelines I am given,” I said carefully. “I won’t hide any relevant information from the Council, or put anyone in unnecessary danger. I don’t know what this is, but I do know that meeting Jasper Cullen was inevitable. I’ve Seen him before.”

I think Sue chose that moment to remember my vision about the gurney, as she turned grey, then red, and then looked like she needed something stronger than coffee. 

“Do you know what happens if you don’t see him again?” Charlie asked.

“No, I don’t. And I don’t want to,” I said frankly. 

Freddie sat on the couch, looking exhausted.

“Someone’s going to need to make decisions for Alice in the Council,” Sue said finally. “Freddie, you’re our Mediator. You can’t be objective if you’ve got Alice to worry about. None of us can do it. And none of the Cullens can do it. We’re all compromised.”

“Ask Dulcie,” I said and everyone looked at me. “She’s been here for years, I think she deserves to be read-in. She can be my guardian ad litem in the Council, and she’d finally understand some of the weirder stuff that goes on around here. Like the limb-bucket.”

Charlie winced at the reminder of that particular incident. 

Freddie sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Dulcie’s not a bad choice,” he admitted. 

“Plus, now you’ll have to marry her,” I said cheerfully. “Now, I’m going to bed, so you can finish talking about me without me.” And with that, I headed back upstairs for a hot shower and some sleep.