#sonny at his worst is still better than most I don’t care

[thiagodasilva]

i know I don’t go here whatever but imagine being a topspurs fan and talking so much shit about Heung Min Son. talking as if he’s single-handedly the reason for your squad’s bad form pls. (I guess it’s easy to pick on him because he’s been in his own bad form for a bit now, with a crazy injury on top of that??) That world class man has more individual accolades than your club has won in decades. look inward.

[lizziesangel]

RAFE CAMERON - mini boyfriend

x FEM!reader - MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: rafe doens't realise your mini boyfriend is actually your sonny angel

WORD COUNT: 1802

GENRE: fluff

CONTENT WARNING: /

‘he may bring you happiness’

it was your anniversary, and rafe had been surprisingly sweet about it all day. he’d planned dinner at your favorite restaurant, bought you flowers that were still sitting pretty on your desk, and was now lying on your bed while you got ready in the bathroom.

the sound of the shower running filled the room, steam creeping out from under the bathroom door. rafe had been patient for a while, scrolling aimlessly on his phone, but your phone buzzing on the nightstand kept pulling his attention.

he ignored it the first few times. he knew you got a lot of notifications, and most of the time, they weren’t urgent. but after the fifth buzz in under two minutes, he couldn’t resist anymore.

“what the hell is so important?” he muttered, reaching for your phone.

he unlocked it quickly—he knew your passcode, and you never cared if he used it. the messages were from sarah, which made him pause. his sister wasn’t exactly someone he thought would be texting you on your anniversary.

he clicked the notification, and the messages popped up.

rafe froze, staring at the screen. “mini boyfriend?” he said out loud, his jaw tightening. what the hell was sarah talking about? who was she talking about?

his mind immediately went to the worst. sure, you were dating him, but rafe knew how people saw you—sweet, funny, way too good for a guy like him. he didn’t think you’d cheat, but this? it didn’t sound great.

he tapped the screen, about to scroll up, when he heard the water shut off in the bathroom. panicking, he put the phone back down where he found it.

rafe flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to pretend like he hadn’t just seen that. but the words mini boyfriend kept replaying in his mind, eating away at him.

meanwhile, your screen was still lighting up with messages.

dinner was perfect. well, almost. the table was beautiful, the food was amazing, and rafe looked so good in the crisp white button-up you loved. but something about him felt… off. he wasn’t being cold—actually, he was softer than usual. maybe too soft.

he pulled out your chair for you, asked if your wine was okay twice, and kept checking in on you in a way that felt less like boyfriend-y attentiveness and more like guilt.

you tried to shake it off. maybe he was just nervous—it was your anniversary, after all.

but when the waiter cleared the dessert plates and you leaned closer to tease him about stealing your crème brûlée, he barely cracked a smile.

“babe,” you said softly, resting your hand over his. “what’s wrong?”

he blinked at you, as if caught off guard, and quickly shook his head. “nothing. nothing’s wrong,” he said, but his knee bounced under the table, and he wouldn’t meet your eyes.

“rafe,” you pressed, squeezing his hand. “are you sure?”

“yeah,” he said quickly, then ran a hand through his hair. “just—here.”

before you could say anything else, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small turquoise box, the iconic white ribbon tied perfectly around it.

your breath caught in your throat. “rafe…”

“it’s not a big deal,” he said quickly, sliding the box across the table to you. “i mean, if you don’t like it, i can get you something else. something better. more expensive.”

your hands were shaking as you picked it up, untying the ribbon with a mix of nerves and excitement. the second you opened the box and saw the delicate tiffany & co. bracelet inside, your heart stopped.

it was the bracelet. the one you’d shown him months ago in passing, not thinking for a second that he’d actually remember.

“rafe,” you whispered, your voice cracking as tears welled up in your eyes.

“what?” he asked, watching you carefully. “is it okay? i didn’t know if you still liked it or—”

“are you kidding?” you interrupted, looking up at him with watery eyes. “i love it. i’ve wanted this forever.”

for the first time all night, he let out a small laugh, his shoulders relaxing. “yeah?”

you nodded quickly, slipping the bracelet onto your wrist and holding it up to admire it. “it’s perfect.”

he smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“rafe, baby, what’s wrong?” you asked, lowering your hand to hold his.

he hesitated, staring down at the table for a moment before finally shaking his head. “nothing. as long as you’re happy, i’m good.”

but you could tell there was more to it. and as much as you wanted to press him, you didn’t. not yet. because tonight wasn’t about whatever was going on in his head. tonight was about the two of you.

rafe’s grip on the steering wheel was loose, his eyes fixed on the road as you leaned back in the passenger seat, admiring your bracelet under the glow of the streetlights.

“can we stop by john b’s real quick?” you asked, breaking the silence.

he glanced at you, a little confused. “why?”

“i just need to pick something up,” you said vaguely, trying not to give anything away.

his jaw tightened for a split second—he still wasn’t entirely sure what sarah’s texts earlier had been about, and hearing john b’s name wasn’t exactly helping—but he nodded. “yeah, okay.”

the drive was quiet, the tension in the car lingering just under the surface. when you finally pulled into the chateau’s driveway, you hopped out before rafe even had a chance to kill the engine.

“i’ll be quick!” you called over your shoulder, disappearing inside.

quick turned into ten minutes. then fifteen.

rafe leaned back in the driver’s seat, drumming his fingers on the wheel as he waited.

inside, you were crouched on the floor of sarah’s room, your excitement bubbling over as she showed you her latest unboxings.

“i got the cow one!” she squealed, holding up the tiny figurine.

“oh my god,” you laughed, carefully holding the one you’d just picked up. it was perfect—exactly what you’d been hoping for. you turned it over in your hands, smiling at the idea of giving it to rafe. he always rolled his eyes whenever you gushed about how fun they were, but you knew he secretly loved the way you lit up when you talked about them.

you couldn’t wait to see his reaction.

“okay, i really have to go,” you said, stuffing the tiny box into your bag and standing up.

sarah smiled. “have fun giving that one to him.”

you waved at her, laughing as you left.

back in the car, rafe glanced at you as you climbed into the passenger seat. “what took you so long?”

“sorry,” you said, trying to sound casual as you shoved your bag under your seat. “sarah was just showing me something.”

he raised an eyebrow but didn’t push it. instead, he pulled out of the driveway, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly.

“you good now?” he asked, glancing at you.

“yep,” you said, trying to hide your excitement as you thought about the little surprise waiting for him.

back at tannyhill, you practically pulled rafe inside by the hand, practically buzzing with excitement. he trailed behind you, still a little lost in his own thoughts, but he followed because, well, that’s just how it always was between you two.

“okay,” you said, leading him to the couch and gently nudging him to sit down. “sit down. i’ve got a surprise for you.”

he raised an eyebrow. “a surprise? for me?”

“yes, for you,” you said, grinning as you reached into your bag and pulled out the tiny, wrapped box. “since, you’ve been giving to give me a lot of things, this one’s for you.”

rafe shifted, looking a little hesitant. “babe, i told you. you don’t have to give me anything. you shouldn't waste your money on me. you’re the one i’m supposed to spoil.”

you rolled your eyes, holding the little box behind your back. “it’s not expensive, i promise.”

he gave you a skeptical look. “if you say so.”

“now close your eyes,” you urged, a little giddy.

he sighed dramatically but complied, his eyelids falling shut as he settled back into the couch. “this better not be another trick,” he muttered.

“it’s not a trick, i swear,” you said, trying not to giggle. you handed him the little box, gently placing it in his hands.

“okay, open them,” you said softly.

rafe blinked down at the box in his hands, looking genuinely confused. “what is this?” he asked, turning it over a couple of times.

“just open it,” you said, eyes sparkling with excitement.

with a slight frown, he ripped off the wrapping paper, revealing a familiar-looking box. his eyes flickered up to meet yours, confusion still clear on his face. “isn’t this what you have all over your room?”

you grinned widely. “yep! and now, you have your very first mini boyfriend.”

rafe’s expression softened, his confusion shifting into a look of relief, then amusement. “wait, hold on. my mini boyfriend?”

“yep!” you beamed. “remember how you always said you didn’t get why I liked them so much? now you can try it for yourself. i thought you’d enjoy it.”

rafe blinked at the box, then at you. the whole situation seemed to settle into his brain, and a small laugh escaped him.

the entire time he thought you’d been seeing someone on the side.

“exactly,” you said, practically glowing with excitement. “isn’t he cute?”

he stared at the little box for a moment, a half-smile tugging at his lips as he carefully opened it. the tiny figurine—a pig—sat there, innocently smiling up at him.

“oh… it’s a pig?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “you really mean mini boyfriend, huh?”

“yep,” you laughed, leaning into him. “a very cute mini boyfriend.”

rafe shook his head, still chuckling softly. “i thought for sure it was some guy or something. i wasn’t expecting… this.”

you beamed up at him, the look of joy in your eyes uncontainable. “see? it’s fun, right? i knew you’d like it.”

rafe leaned back, still holding the figurine, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as he pulled you closer. “honestly, this is kinda… adorable. you’re ridiculous, but i get it now.”

“i told you,” you teased. “it’s just fun. and now you have your very own mini boyfriend.”

rafe chuckled softly, kissing the top of your head. “you’re lucky i’m crazy about you, or i’d say this whole mini boyfriend thing is weird.”

you smiled up at him, glad to see the look of genuine happiness in his eyes as he inspected his tiny pig figurine. despite the weirdness, he was enjoying it. and that made everything worth it.

“why can you see his d-”

[virgilmoretti]

@sonnyevangelista​ location: Il Cane Nero notes: I don’t dance now I make money hooves

Turns out most of the world didn’t care if you were gay, or bi, but there had been a time when it felt like the worst news in the world. When Virgil had been young and stupid there wasn’t much he could think of that’d be worse than getting called out for something he didn’t want anyone to know. Other guys started talking about girls, so Virgil played along. Acted the part and went through the motions. Things hadn’t exactly been linear for him, he’d convinced himself he was straight, then went through a phase where he’d convinced himself he was gay. Turns out the witch had landed somewhere in the middle. 

Sonny was caught up in the confusion of not knowing where he’d end up. Summer reprieves where the two friends hung out, sometimes with mutuals but eventually it was just the two of them. Sonny had it rough, Virgil knew that - knew that he was proud too and there wasn’t much that the witch could do about it. His friend moved from foster home to foster home and they were in their late teens before their paths crossed again. Fitting maybe that it was the last summer of highschool, Virgil’s future was set in stone. Planned and defined. He had an Ivy league education lined up and a lifelong career ahead of him. Things had ended up happening, old boyish feelings bubbled to the surface and then the world pulled them in separate directions. This wasn’t the sort of story where they kept in touch, maybe they’d tried but Virgil’s life got busy and the past was better off in the past. 

“A man walks into a bar. As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender “what’s with the meat?”” Virgil leaned into the bar a bit as he spoke, “The bartender says, ‘If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss even one, you have to pay for everyone else’s drinks for the rest of the night. Wanna give it a go?’” It was impossible for Virgil to keep himself from chuckling, “The man takes another look at the meat, then says, ‘I think I’ll pass. The steaks are too high.’” Il Cane Nero was a nice place, how long had it been now - twenty years? Something like that. Still, Virgil would’ve recognized the other anywhere. “You can laugh, that’s a good one.” 

[navalcriminalimagines]

i’m entering @thatesqcrush Valentine’s Bingo!! It’s my first time and I hope this is good! It covers the “Oral sex” square! Enjoy!

Rafael Barba x Reader

Prompt: a very much needed drunk night turns into a hookup

Warnings: smut, drunk sex, oral sex (female and male receiving), p in v, fingering

Words: 4,223

sorry for the typos...

Drunk in love

Shutting you down and pushing you away was Rafael Barba’s new activity. Not that he wants to but he has to. He doesn’t know why or how he had let himself fall for you, especially since one of the first things he noticed on you was your wedding band. He never saw your husband but Elias - or whatever his name is - seems pretty real, and according to Mike Dodds, he’s “twice our size”. 

But god you’re so beautiful. And young, clever, nice, funny. You have everything a man can dream in someone, but somehow, you’re still very insecure about yourself. He sees it when you look at him or Liv for approval when you have a break in a case, or how you sometimes belittle yourself when the guys tease you. He knew how insecure you are when you blushed after he complimented you. He didn’t attend to at first, but when he saw you in the little green dress that showed off your curves so perfectly, he couldn’t help but to say, ”who’s that gorgeous woman and what have you done with my detective?”

Rafael still curses himself for saying so. You have been acting differently since then, you’re less talkative, more shutdown. You probably know now about his crush on you and you’re just keeping your distance. Just like he tried at first. 

But you’re one very stubborn woman. He could snap at you one day and you’d greet him the next one with a smile, like nothing happened. He hates you for it. You’re pulling up with him and he doesn’t know why. Why would you? He’s the worst. And you’re fucking married. 

Rafael hates to admit it, but he’s a little jealous of Mike Dodds and Sonny Carisi. Especially Mike. He knows partners have a very special relationship, that you have to trust each other with your lives. But he gets to hug you, spend so much time with you, to go out to bars or restaurants with you. He knows there’s nothing romantic in that relationship, but sometimes he wishes he’s the one you hug, out of nowhere. But he’s not. He’s just the weird and annoying ADA.

To stop thinking about you, Rafael Barba went back on tracks and met with a few people. Both men and women, it usually ends in a one night stand. And in the morning, he hates himself a little more because your face is the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes. One night, a woman stopped him mid-sex, “My name’s Jane, not Y/N,” she exclaimed. Then she dressed back up and left. 

There’s this woman he keeps seeing though. It’s mostly just sex, and he can’t complain about her talents in bed. Maybe he should take her on a date? Try to make this serious? Well, as serious as he can be, knowing that his world stops spinning every time he lays his eyes on you. He hates you. 

*****

“Could you cover for me tonight and perhaps tomorrow morning?” you asked Mike, as you two were on a stakeout. Technically, Mike is your superior, but he’s also your partner and you can trust him, with everything.

“Only if you tell him why,” he answered.

“Elias told me he has a work thing out of town. I need to check,” 

Mike already knows your doubts on your husband’s fidelity. It’s been building up for months now. Mike advised you to talk to him but you refused. You’re scared about what he may tell you.

“You’re finally following your doubts! Don’t you think talking to him would be better?”

“If I’m wrong, I’m gonna make a fool of myself,” you sighed, “And if I’m right-- I really don’t know how I’m gonna react, I can’t be facing him at that moment,” 

“Fine,” the sergeant isn’t convinced it’s the right thing to do, but he knows better than to fight with you on that. “Do you want me to come with you?” he offered.

“Thanks, but no,” you kissed his cheek and focused back on your job. 

*****

Your doubts and your fears become reality. Elias is cheating on you, with some gorgeous brunette, a little bit older than you. She looks like a model compared to you. And you can feel your heart breaking when he leans to kiss her passionately. It’s fucking real. You had doubts, but a part of you kept refusing to believe it. Elias was the man of your dreams, he’s your first love, your husband. You loved him with all your heart and he’s just-- a fucking asshole. 

You drove all night long, without any destination. You showed up late at work - Mike had covered for you - and you went on with your life.

You lied to Mike, telling him that you were wrong and Elias was really away for work. To Elias? You didn’t say anything. You didn’t want to face it for now. You didn’t want to hear some lame excuses, or blaming. You didn’t want him to break your heart a little more. So everyday, for weeks, you went home, slept beside him, answered when he was talking to you, barely returned his kisses. There was no sex though. Lack of sex had been the starting point of your doubts. You did get tested however. You didn’t know if he’s using protections with her, or if there are other women, or whatever, so you had to be sure you had no STD. Luckily you didn’t.

*****

Rafael is tired of how cold you’re with him. He doesn’t know if you’re the same way with the rest of the squad, but you’re with him and it’s pissing him off. If it’s because of his crush on you, he wished you’d say so, he’d lie by telling you he’s seeing someone and that whatever he felt for you, it’s gone. And the ‘relationship’ could go back to normal. 

Liv texted him to say you’re coming to get the warrant. He stopped working after he read the text. How can he bring it up to you? How can he throw the subject? Why is he that nervous anyway? Why does he care? You’re just a young detective he met a year prior. You don’t matter to him. You’re good at what you do, but in a few years, both of you will move on with your lives. And you won’t remember him. Ever. Why does he care?

“Hi Barba,” you entered his office after he told you to come in. He hates when you call him ‘Barba’. You usually go with his first name. Why did it change?

“Morning detective,” he answered, coldly, not looking up from his notepad. “Carmen should be back in five minutes with the warrant,” 

“K. Can I get a coffee?” 

He finally puts his pen down and looks up to you. You’re standing right across his desk, your hair is tied in a ponytail, you have those dark cargo pants that fit your curves so perfectly, and a blue NYPD sweater. “Can you wear that whenever you want?” he asked, pointing at your sweater. 

“My shirt is in the trash with the biggest coffee stain on it. I stole this from Mike,” 

It’s indeed a little loose for you. Your hands are mostly hidden in the sleeves and he can’t distinguish your breasts - not that he looks for it…

You move to the coffee pot and pour yourself a cup. You look over your shoulder, “Want some?” he nods and extends his empty cup to you. 

“I can wait outside if you want,” you said, after you drank the coffee faster than he ever did. 

“Take the couch, Y/N,” 

Once you sat on his couch, Rafael sighed, stood up and sat next to you. “Is there a problem?” he asked.

You looked at him, confused. “About?” 

“Me?” he offered. “I don’t know. Have I done something to upset you?”

You shyly smiled at that and Rafael’s heart melted. “It’s nothing to do with you, Rafael. I promise,” you briefly squeezed his hand and let it go. He wanted to grab it and never let it go.

“Then what is it? Something’s wrong with you,” 

“If someone told me you’d be the first to notice, I would have laughed,” you giggled.

“Hmm… should I be offended by that?” he raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re the outsider, you know. But we love you for that,” 

“I don’t know who’s “we”, but it’s certainly not the SVU squad,” he kept going before you answered, “What’s wrong, Y/N?” 

You took you a very long moment to say it. A moment during which Rafael forgot how to breath. He was expecting many things, but not this. After that, it all happened so fast. You cried and leaned to your side until your face hit his chest. Unsure at first, he finally wrapped his arms around your shoulders and hugged you. His nose got buried in your hair and he knew it was the scent he wanted to smell for the rest of his life. He felt your hand on his pectoral, turning into a fist on his shirt. “I hate him,” you cried. “But I’m scared,” 

“Scared of?” he softly kissed your hair.

“Being alone? Doing it all over again? Never meeting someone else?” you took a deep breath, “But I’m the most scared of why he did it,” 

“There are no excuses, Y/N. I know what it feels like, I know you’re blaming yourself, thinking that it’s your fault, but it’s not,” he softly pulled you away to grab your face in his hands. He ran his thumbs on your cheeks to take the tears away and forced you to look at him. “He doesn’t deserve you, he doesn’t deserve your tears,” 

You nodded at that and tried to regain control as you both heard Carmen’s heels. 

“Can I take you out for drinks tonight?” he offered before you left.

“Thank you, but I don’t want to be around people,”

“Ok, my place then?”

You nodded again, kissed his cheek and left with a shy “see you tonight”. 

*****

After leaving the precinct, you quickly stopped at your shared apartment to change clothes. Elias was there, drinking a beer and making dinner, as if everything was okay. You barely greeted him and walked to the bathroom. You took a quick shower, changed into high-waisted ripped jeans, dark crop top and a flannel shirt. You redid your makeup, and let your long hair drop on your shoulders. 

“Where are you going?” Elias asked, as you were putting your doc martens on. 

“Out,” you answered coldly. 

“I can see that. Work?”

“Nope,” you grabbed your keys. 

“Should I wait for you?”

“No, don’t,”

And you were gone.

Rafael is stressed. He doesn’t know what to expect from that night. Probably nothing, you’re broken-hearted, you just need a night to relax and either talk about it and completely forget. He will give you that. He will be a good listener, you’ll have his shoulder to cry on if needed. He turned down the woman he’s seeing to spend the night with you. He didn’t give explanations, just said he has to work. She just answered “K.”, maybe she’s upset but he doesn’t care much. 

When he opens his door, he forgets how to breath. You’re gorgeous in a very natural way. He lets you in his apartment, you’ve been there once, when you were his protection detail after he received death threats. You stayed up all night long to make sure he was okay and he felt so cared for, it warmed his heart in an unfamiliar way. 

“Beer?” he offered.

“No, scotch. I need something strong tonight,” 

You sit on his couch, tug your legs under your butt, just making comfortable. He comes back with two glasses of scotch, and offers you one. “I didn’t have time to cook but I ordered italian,” 

“Thanks but you shouldn’t have. I’m not hungry,” 

“If you don’t eat, you don’t drink. Your choice,” he smiled and you nodded. 

Rafael is doing his best to stay friendly and not flirty, but after his fourth glass, he doesn’t control himself as much. There are empty containers on the coffee table, the bottle of scotch is getting empty. You’re laying against him, your body is so close to his, he can feel your body heat and smell your scent. “Your husband is such a dumbass,” he said and you turned to face him. “I mean-- that guy is married to--you. And he’s cheating on you? How stupid does it make him?” 

“I’m not special,” you shrugged. 

“I’m talking to Y/N Y/L/N, right? Cause that woman is special,” 

“How so?” 

“This. You don’t even realize how amazing you are. You blush when you get a compliment, you’re a badass when you’re with a perp, but you’re always looking for approval when you have an idea. You’re so smart and nice, and beautiful, and sweet, and--”

Rafael stopped when he heard you giggle. He laughed too, because your laugh always does that to him. “How drunk are you, Rafael?” 

“Enough to tell you so, but no enough to lie about it,” 

“Maybe I should forgive him,”

“Wait, what? No!” Rafael exclaimed and sat straight. “He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness! Why would you do that?” he didn’t expect his voice to be this high pitched. 

“Because-- I won’t find someone else to put up with me,”

You sounded so dramatic, it made Rafael laugh. “You’re twenty seven, Y/N! You have so much time ahead,” 

“Maybe but-- I’m not easy to live with, Rafa. I’m annoying, I work all the time, I don’t cook, I’m not good in bed, I--”

“Wow,” he exclaimed again to make you stop talking. “Is this how he made you feel?” 

“No--yes. Maybe, I don’t know-- sex is… simple with him,” you paused, “But you probably don’t want to hear about my sex life,” you took a sip of your drink.

“I do. I mean-- it’s not about being good in bed. It’s about the connection, what two people are looking for,” 

“What are you looking for in sex?” 

“Depends. When it’s a one night stand, it’s mostly relief. Do I care about my partner’s pleasure? Yeah, sure but not as much as if I’m in love,” 

“I wonder what it feels like one night with Rafael Barba,” you had a grin on your face, teasing him. You were drunk, but so was he. 

“I can show you,”

Rafael didn’t expect you to react with a kiss, but you did. You awkwardly press your lips against his and Rafael froze for a second. But he deepened the kiss, cupping your face in his hand. He felt your tongue asking for access and he happily obliged. He laid down on the couch and you sat on his lap, never breaking the kiss. You feel like heaven. His hand settled on your bare skin between your jeans and your top before sliding under the crop top. Your hands did the same on his torso, sending shivers in his entire body. 

He noticed when you arrived but now he has the confirmation; you aren’t wearing any bra and you have your nipples pierced. He groaned loudly when he felt your breasts in his palms, which made you smile against his mouth. “Does it hurt?” he asked when he started to play with your nipples. 

“God no, I love it,” you sighed in pleasure. “Ever been with someone who has their nipples pierced?” 

“No,” he growled, “Can I?” he asked before sucking on your nipple. You nodded and he almost assaulted your breasts. Nipples pierced is fucking amazing. Especially yours. 

“I want to feel your skin,” you shyly requested and Rafael obliged. He let you take his tee-shirt off, tossing it on the floor. Your hands touched his body like he was a greek god. You kissed, sucked and bit his neck from a moment while he was softly thrusting his erection against your clothes center. 

Rafael doesn’t control himself or his pleasure when he’s drunk. He’s scared that he may come so fast you won’t enjoy this moment with him. He held you against him and took you to the bedroom. You both undressed each other before laying down on the bed. Rafael drunk you in. You, completely naked on his bed. It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. He briefly kissed you before making his own down to your core. He gently bite your inner thigh before burying his tongue into you. You let out such a beautiful sound, it almost made him come on the spot. “You’re fucking delicious,” he growled. 

“You--oh, you don’t have to do this, Rafael,” you said. But he was pleasuring you so good.

“Why wouldn’t I? This pussy is calling for my mouth,” his hot breath against your clit made you shiver, “You’re so wet, baby,” he returned to his oral ministrations. 

Rafael ate you like a starved man. He gave everything he had to make you come on his face. He felt you tensed against him, your thigh held him in place. You cried his name, your nails on his scalp. He swallowed everything you had to give him. 

“Wow-- fucking wow,” you chuckled as you tried to catch your breath. 

“I know, I get that a lot,” he chuckled too, kissing you softly. 

“Shut up, and fuck me now,” 

“Hmm… someone’s desperate for my cock?”

“I’ve never been this turned on, Rafael. What did you do to me?” 

“Ever had an orgasm from someone’s mouth?”

“Nah-- and I don’t want to talk about it. Just get inside me, please,” 

He kissed you passionately again, and got on top of you. You felt his hard cock against your stomach, before he lined himself with you. “Do you want it?” he wanted you to beg. “How much do you want my cock, hermosa?” 

“So much!” you tried to make his cock slide into you but Rafael held you still, “Please, Rafael. I want you-- I want you inside me,” 

He didn’t need more. He slid into you in one slow motion. You both gasped at the feeling. His size hurt a little at first but you’re used to keep a straight face during sex. But somehow, Rafael felt it. “Are you okay?” He asked, not moving. 

“Just getting used to your size,” you giggled. 

“Lo siento, I got carried away. Let me—“ 

He tried to pull out off you but your hands held onto his ass, “don’t you dare go away, Barba,” he giggled and stayed deep inside you. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered before kissing you. 

When you gave him permission to move, he started slow. He needed to control his pleasure. It was deep and slow, and every sound you made was music to his ear. He intertwined his fingers with yours and pinned your hand above your head, kissing you roughly. “Do you want to switch positions?” You asked, out of nowhere. 

“Fuck no. I wanna see your face while I make you come,” 

For a moment, he was self conscious of what was going on. Whatever sex was with your husband, it was mostly to pleasure that bastard. He probably didn’t care much about you during sex, about what pleased you, about your kinks if you have some. This might be his only night with you, and he wants you to know what real sex and pleasure are. 

When he felt you were close to your orgasm, he quickly pulled out and buried two fingers into your pussy. You didn’t have time to react about the sudden changes, you cum - for the second time - hard on his fingers. 

“Why the hell did you pull out?” You asked, confused, as you tried to catch your breath. 

“I’m not done with you yet,” he said with a malicious smile. He kissed you again, taking his time - to be fair, he’s mostly trying to calm himself down - to plant kisses all over you, worshipping your perfect body. 

“Rafael, what the—“ you gasped. His face was between your legs again. His tongue found its way easily to your most sensitive spot. You were worn down, but so sensitive a third orgasm wasn’t far away. But you pulled his hair to make him stop. You saw something in his eyes. “Someone likes to get his hair pulled,” you giggled. 

“I didn’t know actually, but yeah,” he licked his lips, “However, if you pull my face away from your pussy again, I’ll have to punish you,” 

His words, the way he talks to you sends something into you. Something you ever felt before. Maybe you’re into punishment. And dirty talk. Maybe you aren’t bad in bed, you just weren’t with the right person. 

Rafael was about to go back at it again, but your voice stopped him. “I want to go down on you,” 

“You will, babygirl. For now, it’s about you,” 

He did pull a third orgasm out of you. He’s so fucking talented with his tongue and fingers. He knows what to do, when to do it. “You’ll be the death of me,” you said, trying again to catch your breath, tiredly playing with his chest hair. 

“Sounds good,” he buried his face in your neck and marked you. He didn’t care about tomorrow, about what your husband might say when he sees it. Tonight, you’re his and no one else’s. “Do you really want to suck my cock or do you feel like you have to?” He asked, his eyes locked into yours. 

“I want to,” you eagerly answered, regaining some strength suddenly. 

You sat up while Rafael laid down on his back. You took his cock in your hand, his hips jerking at the feeling. He probably won’t last long. But he can still recover and do it all over again. “You okay?” He asked, as you were taking a long moment just looking and stroking his length. 

“Yeah,” you shyly smiled, “Just promise me something, please?” 

He would promise you the fucking universe. “Tell me?” 

“If—if I’m not good, just make me stop, okay? Don’t blame me after,” 

Rafael saw tears in your eyes. He immediately grabbed you and pulled you next to him. His erection can wait. He softly kissed your cheeks and lips. “I’m not...him,” he said, “Like I said earlier, it’s about the connection between two persons. I feel connected to you, do you feel the same?” 

You nodded, trying to stop your tears. “That’s all that matters. You could break my penis, sending me to the ER, I’d thank you for it,” 

He felt proud when you laughed, he kissed you. He could  never get enough of your lips. “I trust you, Y/N. Only thing I don’t want is you going down on me just because you feel like you have to,” 

“I want to suck you off, Rafael,” you purred in his ear after a moment. 

His cock softened during that talk, but it reacted to that. You kissed his body, trailing  your way down to his penis. You licked the tip, tasting some pre-cum. You looked at him to catch his reactions, but you saw nothing but desire and pleasure. When he was painfully hard, you took him in your mouth. Rafael almost came right here and there, it took everything he had not to. You slowly suck his cock, until you quicken the rhythm. “You’re so—good, baby. You know how to use that mouth,” he praised you. When he saw you smiling against his length, he made a mental note about you loving to be praised. 

You cupped his balls in your hand, and took him all the way down your throat, “I’m gonna—amor, fuck! I’m gonna cum,” he expected you to pull away but instead, you kept the pace until Rafael came hard in your month, chanting your name. He didn’t know he could be this loud. You made a show of swallowing every drop of him. “Mierda,” he muttered, drying his sweating forehead with the back of his hand. 

“Can men fake orgasm? Cause you were fucking loud,” you giggled before kissing him. 

“Shut up, that was—amazing,” he looked deep inside your eyes. “You are amazing, Y/N,” 

He didn’t have time to fuck you again, you both quickly fell asleep after. 

Much to Rafael’s surprise, he woke up to the warmth of your mouth around his cock. He had a wide smile when he saw your eyes full of desire, while your mouth was perfectly sucking on his cock. He lazily grabbed your hair, giving a few thrusts. But he didn’t know how you’d feel about facefuck so he let you lead. It didn’t take long until he came down your throat  again, still as loud as a few hours prior. “You will be the death of me,” 

He invited you in the shower so he could finally fuck you properly. When you came on his cock, your walls clenching around his length, it was the most beautiful feeling in the world. 

This couldn’t be a one night stand. There’s a connection, either of you can deny. He will spend weeks, months, even years to show you he’s worth an Elias or any other man. 

[etherrreal]

"when you drag them to a karaoke bar on a date"

Pairing: tanaka x reader ; bokuto x reader Genre: fluff, headcanons+drabbles Word Count: 1258 Warnings: mentions of alcohol/being tipsy  A/N: after that fun karaoke banter, i was excited to see this request pop up in our inbox ; hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! (psst, requests are still open btw!!) -Luna

#1 champion at karaoke for the past 5 years and counting and no one can beat him

(no, there are no official records or awards, but don't crush his dreams by telling him that)

he was absolutely ecstatic when you suggested a karaoke date

he’s....not the worst?

generally, he can carry a tune decently well but he tries waaay too often to sing a riff or add some spice like he's Mariah Carey and that's when it all goes wrong

initially, you were going to a place that allowed private rooms for groups so you can just fuck around as a dynamic duo

but he wanted to show off his skills so you and everyone in attendance could be jealous of his vocal talents, so you went to a local bar instead

As soon as you arrived at the bar, Tanaka ordered you both some drinks and wings to munch on. Grateful for the liquid courage, you ordered a second to help keep the nerves at bay. Tanaka was happy to sit back and eat so he could "gauge his competition," whatever that meant.

You could tell that he was pumped to be there; his head was nodding to the beat, his hand was tapping away on his thigh, and he was mumbling along to the words. You enjoyed watching him more than the couple screeching on stage to the tune of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart."

A few drinks and two baskets of wings later, Tanaka finally decided that it was his time to shine. He left you with a quick peck on the lips, the leftover taste of gin lingering on your lips. You watched him wave at the audience before browsing the song selection. When he settled on “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond and stumbled his way back to the mic, you knew you were all in for a treat.

"I'm going to be dedicating this one to my baby back there." He blew a kiss in your direction, a few people turning to look at you cringing in the back of the room. “I hope you all enjoy my amazing rendition of this song.”

He started out fine, pretty good, actually. The low, flat tone worked well with his voice and he knew every single word without glancing at the screen, most likely due to hearing the song incessantly play during commercials. 

Then the bridge came, and as the note became higher and louder, the singing became more and more horrific to listen to. And once the chorus started, he finally let go, bouncing around the stage with the detached microphone in hand, letting the spirit of Neil Diamond flow through him. 

Meanwhile, you had broken out your phone and decided to record him for all of your friends to see later. You were sure that your obnoxious cackling was caught on the video, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. This was going to be a precious memory for you hungover rockstars to look back on in the morning.

You knew that somewhere in America, Neil Diamond was cringing and didn't know why. Little did he know an overzealous Japanese man was enthusiastically butchering his song to impress his partner.

And gosh dammit, it was working.

you don't know what kind of beast you've released, oh no

before the entire question had even left your mouth, he already found a place nearby that had karaoke nights every saturday

bokuto...bless his heart

you ever heard two cats fight? they’re screeching, yowling, and making all sorts of alien noises? that’s him.

he definitely thinks that louder means better and while he’s got the spirit, the spirit wishes that he would let it go to spare its ears

bokuto waited forever to have a girlfriend, and he was sure as hell going to take advantage of the fact that you were finally in his life 👀 

You arrived at the bar as soon as the event started, the host filling in the guests about the fun times that were about to ensue. At your table, Bokuto was practically vibrating with excitement as the host went on about the rules. You both learned that at the end, everyone would vote for 3 winners for the night and the index cards and pencils laying on the tables were to cast your votes. 

After the explanations, the host asked for volunteers in the audience. Bokuto’s hand shot straight up, wiggling his fingers and waving his arm in hopes of getting the man’s attention. While he wasn’t the only hand up, he definitely was the most enthusiastic, which was most likely the reason why he was chosen to go up on stage. 

You thought it would be just him, finally having the chance to watch him be the true Beyoncé he thought he was. But when you felt him grab your hand and yank you out of your seat you were utterly confused.

“Where are you taking me? You’re the one that said you wanted to go,” you asked suspiciously, dragging your feet to slow him down. He was parading his way towards the stage quite quickly before stopping suddenly at the edge to turn back to you, hands grasped in his. 

“We’re going to sing a duet,” he announced matter-of-factly. He left no room to argue when he tugged you onto the stage, positioning you awkwardly in front of one of the mics so he could pick a song. You tried to peer over his shoulder to see what he chose, but his broad shoulders blocked the view.

He turned back to you and stood next to the other microphone, a wide grin painted on his face as he waited for the music to start. The first few notes to “I Got You Babe” by Sonny & Cher came through the speakers, your eyes instinctively rolling into the bad of your skull. That song was one that Bokuto had played countless times before, insisting that it must be the song of your relationship. You told him that wasn’t how that process worked, but it didn’t prevent him from playing it on repeat-- or simply serenading you with it-- almost every single day. 

Which you supposed you had to be grateful for, because now you had to know every single word to the song by heart to sing it with him or else you’d make a fool out of yourself. 

The words flowed effortlessly from your mouths, but the musical talent absolutely did not. The only way to describe Bokuto's voice was by saying it sounded like he was being actively tortured live on stage. It would explain why his pitch was all over the map. 

To make up for the lack of talent, Bokuto improvised some moves, grabbing your hand to twirl you about, sometimes tugging you back into his chest to rock gently back and forth with you. The embarrassment you felt in the beginning easily melted away by the end of the performance. It was the most fun you’d had in a while, and seeing him beaming with happiness by the end was all you needed to reassure you this night out had been worth it. 

Somehow, despite believing that you were the absolute worst couple to grace that stage, you both managed to win 3rd place. Bokuto was convinced that it was because of his sickening dance moves and smooth but powerful voice, and you didn’t quite have the heart to tell him otherwise so you let him brag about it all night long.

Written by: Luna

Requests: OPEN!!

[teamhappyme]

as long as i have you

pairing: peter stone x reader

warnings: broken bones, mentions of death

word count: 1.7k

a/n: just some nice little peter stone fluff for you all tonight :)

****

You made your way up the steps of one hogan place a little slower that afternoon, your new injury giving you a slight balance problem. It had been a rough day at the precinct, for more reasons than the obvious one attached to your shoulder.

The only thing that was getting you through the day was the promise of greasy pizza and watching the cubs game with your boyfriend. In the six months you’d been seeing each other, Peter had become such a constant in your life. Even before you agreed to that first date, the last year and a half he’d been with the squad had led to him etching a place in your life, even though you were a little weary of him at first.

But he proved himself to you; he got justice for victims, showed empathy to Carisi when he could have ripped him to shreds for interfering, and after confiding in you after Pam’s death, you knew the man that he truly was. 

And after the day you were having, you were grateful to have Peter Stone in your corner. 

As you walked down the hall to his office, you saw Carmen packing up her bag, and she gave you a warm smile. 

“I have a feeling you’re the person to thank for my early night,” She commented, and you smiled back in return. Carmen had caught on pretty early on that there was something between you two, but she never asked any questions. She just transferred your calls, and gave you knowing smiles in turn.

“Well, I’m glad I can get you out of here before seven on a thursday night.” You replied, giving her a small wave as you entered Peter’s office.

He was on the phone when you opened the door, giving you a smile before his eyes landed on your arm. The black sling attached to your left arm was hard to miss. He sat up straighter, ready to end the phone call when you put your good hand out to him, letting him know it was okay.

That you were okay.

You placed your bag on the couch, listening as Peter tried to wrap up the conversation as politely as possible. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, a message from Sonny asking you if you were doing alright. You quickly responded, reassuring your partner that your arm hadn’t fallen off since he last saw you thirty minutes ago.

Once it sounded like the phone call was finally being wrapped up, you leaned against his desk and waited for him to hang up. And in fifteen seconds, the phone was down and Peter was quickly standing between your legs. 

“What happened to you?” He asked while his hands hovered over your arms. 

“I was chasing a perp through an alley, tackled him, and landed pretty bad on my arm. Broke my arm and fractured my wrist. Got a pretty purple cast tucked in here.” He let out a sigh before placing a kiss to your forehead. “And believe it or not, this wasn’t even the worst part of my day.”

He pulled away, his brow quirked in interest for you to continue. 

“Rollins was on another anti-lawyer spiel, and your name came into the mix. I tried to interrupt her, as subtle as one can interrupt Amanda Rollins on a roll, but she shut me down.”

Even though you and Peter had been seeing each other for six months, you still hadn’t disclosed to Liv or the DA. At first, it was because you wanted to keep this to yourselves. It was new, and fun, and airing it to the rest of the squad would only taint it. Then, as time passed, and the two of you knew this was going to last, you were worried about your jobs. You both loved being in special victims, and you didn’t want to risk being transferred somewhere new. 

So, you kept your mouths shut. Tried to avoid standing next to each other during work, because you knew you’d be tempted to reach for his hand. And most frequently, you bit your tongue when someone was upset with Peter. He was the ADA afterall, and he could complicate your lives a bit. But sometimes, it went too far.

“You know I don’t take any of Rollins' criticisms to heart. If I did, I’d be out of a job about a year and a half ago.” He said with a smile, trying to make you feel better. He knew how much you cared about him, and how much you wanted to stand up for him in front of the squad. But he also learned early on in his career not to expect many friends to come out of this job. 

“I know you don’t, but,” you let out a sigh, running your good hand through your hair. “When I got to the emergency room, they asked if they should notify my next of kin. It wasn’t a big deal, only a broken bone, and I had Carisi with me. But, what if it had been serious? What if I had gotten shot and you didn’t know until Liv told you the next day?”

Peter had thought about that situation more times than he’d like to admit. He was worried about you all the time; not because you were incapable of doing your job, but because he cared for you. And he wanted to know you would be safe every minute of every day. But that wasn’t a given with this job.

“And it’s not just if I get hurt. I want to be able to defend my boyfriend when someone starts talking shit about him. I want to put pictures of us out on my desk, and I want everyone to know how amazing you are.” 

“Y/n/n,”

“And I know that once we disclose to Liv and Jack we’re putting our futures in their hands, but I’m okay with that. If I have to be monitored, or put on desk duty more often, I don’t care. As long as I have you, I’ll do whatever they decide.”

Peter Stone could count on one hand how many times someone has left him speechless, and none of them revolved around the love he received from a partner. 

You were willing to take a detour in your career all for him. For Peter Stone, the man who was too late to almost every relationship in his life. Peter Stone, the man that understood his father and sister when it was too late. Peter Stone, the man that didn’t deserve you one bit.

But he knew, in that moment, he would do the same thing for you. And he supposes, that he may just be worthy of your love after all.

He’s brought back to the moment when you slip your hand in his, gently squeezing his hand to make sure he heard you. 

His smile only grows then, as he drops your hand, only to rest his palms on the side of your face. He caught the small smile you broke into before he kissed you, and he felt it as he tried to stay glued to you for as long as possible. The little laugh he let out tickled your nose, getting you to pull away from him. 

When you finally get a look at him, you savor the happiness he’s exuding, and take a moment to run your fingers through the hair right above his ear. 

“First thing on Monday, we’ll disclose to Liv. And the next time Rollins starts talking shit about me, you can properly defend me.”

You let out a laugh as his thumb continued to brush against your cheek. “I’ll have Carisi phone you in so you can witness it.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” He said, then closed the gap between you once again, moving his lips softly against your own. 

It was amazing, what you’d be willing to do for each other. Deep down, you were sure nothing drastic would change, but you truly don’t know. All that matters is the two of you, and the blind jump you were willing to take. Together.

Peter slowly moved his hands down your arm, forgetting about the injuries you sustained just hours ago. You pulled away quickly, trying to suppress the hiss of pain leaving your mouth. 

“I’m sorry,” He started, this time gently resting his hand on the sling. 

You shook your head, cracking your fingers a few times until the pain went away. “It’s okay. The bumpy cab ride over here was worse than that.”

He smiled, moving away from you for just a second to grab the sharpie lying across his desk. 

“I think your arm would feel a little better if I got to sign that purple cast right there.” 

You pulled the band from around your neck, Peter helping you maneuver the contraption with an extra hand. 

“Well, there’s a slight problem with that request,” you pulled off the sling completely, the purple cast now in his view. Except, there was black ink covering almost the entire width of the cast, and it was Sonny’s scrawl. “I may have told him about our situation, after the next of kin conversation. I had to bribe him to keep quiet until I asked you, and,” you raised the arm with ‘SONNY’ in all caps written across it. “This is what the child wanted.” 

“I’m glad you told him,” He said, while gently flipping your arm over. “In case something worse did happen, and we didn’t have this conversation, I wouldn’t be left in the dark.”

It was your turn to rest a hand on his face, coaxing his eyes to look up at you from their gaze on the carpeted floor. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Peter.” You said, and lightly kissed his cheek. “I’ve got too many good people around me to leave.”

“Good,” he said with a smile, while uncapping his sharpie. He managed to find an open spot on the part that rested on the inside of your wrist. He wrote out his first name, in messy block letters, and finished with a heart at the end. “‘Cause you’re kind of stuck with me now.”

He pecked your lips one more time, before moving out from between your legs, calling it an early night. 

You watched as he organized his desk for the morning, piling files in order of importance, and listened to him compare the pizza joints you would pass on the way to his apartment. The ease of it all made your chest warm, and your head a little dizzy.

But you could get used to this feeling.

****

tags: @hurricanejjareau @qvid-pro-qvo @crazyshannonigans @joanofarkansass

[huntertales]

Part Four: All’s Well That Ends Well. (Bad Boys S09E07)

Episode Summary: When an old friend of Dean’s asks for help to solve a murder, Sam and the reader discover that the older Winchester as a secret past—one that will help solve the hunt. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 3,476.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

There was never a better feeling than wrapping up a particular rough hunt. Before you and the boys could say your final goodbyes to everyone and hit the road back to Kansas, Dean wanted to stay a little longer and have a private chat with Robin after the eventful afternoon she endured. There was nothing stopping him from giving the woman a proper goodbye, the one she deserved to have all those years ago. She was starting to understand Dean's past more and why he moved around so often. The business he inherited from his father wasn't like her own, but there was a sort of satisfaction to it of helping people. 

"So, then, this is the family business?" Robin asked the man, still trying to wrap her head around everything she witnessed earlier today.

"Told you it was boring." Dean replied with a casual tone that made Robin laugh. She shook her head at his attitude that was too laid back for her personal comfort. She had a feeling he dealt with stranger things out there in the world. "Well, as you can see, I did not run off to become a rockstar." 

"Mm...I don't know about that." Robin said. She tilted her head and smiled at the man. Despite the years that passed between them, not many things changed about him from his youth. He was still the same. Except that he seemed more assured of himself, more confident. And perhaps a tad bit happier. "You look pretty rockin' to me, Dean Winchester."

Dean chuckled at the woman's compliment. "And what about you?"

"I mean, I always thought that I would hate being in the same little town my whole life, and you know, taking over the diner like Dad always wanted, but...I don't. I just—I love it." Robin admitted. Dean was happy to hear about how the woman's life turned out. it was far from what she aspired to be when she was a teenager, but from the look on her face, she wouldn’t have it any other way. “How about you? The family business all that bad?”

“Well, it’s not all threatening to harm kids and spirits. It has its ups and downs, I’m not gonna lie. But it’s not all that bad.” Dean said. It was sort of funny to think back to the things the both of them discussed when they were teenagers. All their hopes and dreams for something different, wanting nothing more than to distance themselves from what their parents wanted, only to follow the exact same path they wanted to avoid. "I guess we didn't know everything we did at sixteen, huh?"

“Not everything.” Robin agreed. “Just some things.” 

She guessed everything happens for a reason. If he asked, she would admit to him that he felt like the one who got away. She wondered from time to time if things might have turned out differently if he stayed and they went on that date he promised her. Would their lives have ended up differently? For better or worse? She didn't know, and quite frankly, didn't really care. Robin was genuinely happy with the way her life turned out. It might not have been exciting and adventurous like Dean's, but she was okay with that. 

Robin found her mind wandering to a few different places with a couple of questions she wanted to try and pick Dean's brain before he left. She only had gotten a taste of what he went up against everyday. Part of her wanted to ask what kind of things were out there, but she had a feeling ignorance was bliss in this sort of situation. However there were other things she was curious about. She noticed Dean look over his shoulder to you and his brother, who had been talking to Sonny after he arrived back from the hospital. 

"Okay, I gotta know." Robin let out a quiet sigh from the intrusive thought that wouldn't leave her alone. She shoved her hands into her back pocket and casually glanced over your way. "Is Y/N your wife? I mean, I only ask because you don't seem the traditional type. And the both of you seem...pretty close.” 

“No. Not yet, at least.” Dean said. He found himself glancing back over in your direction again to see you talking to Sonny, seeming to have moved on from the update from the smile on your face. He prayed the older man who looked after him for those two months wasn’t telling you some kind of embarrassing story you’d most likely tease him about later when the both of you were alone. “I’m still waiting for the day she gets sick of me and runs off.” 

"Give yourself some credit. If she didn't snatch you up, maybe I would have." Robin teased the man. She took the man by surprise when she leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Not in a romantic sort of way, but a thank you for everything he had given her. "Goodbye, Dean. If you ever happen to come back here, those banana pancakes will always be waiting for you." 

The older Winchester smiled at the woman's open invitation and quietly gave her a verbal goodbye. He watched as Robin mader her way up the porch steps and joined Timmy who had been lingering near the front door. The kid smiled and waved to Dean before joining Robin back inside his permanent home. Dean left this place with a better feeling than he had all these years ago. Sonny was a good man, if anyone could help a kid like Timmy, he was the perfect person to do so. 

Dean made his way over to you and Sam, overhearing the conversation about the things Timmy went through today and the person responsible for the deaths of Ruth and Jack, along with the harming of the other boy Sonny was looking over as well. Trauma and trouble were things Sonny was quite familiar with. And he'd do anything in his power to make sure the kid grew up in a loving home.

"Sounds like Timmy's gonna need some help adjusting." Sonny said. 

"Yeah, but he's got you." Dean told the man. 

"I always hate to see you go, dee-dawg. Can't thank you enough for this one, man." Sonny reached out and shook the older Winchester's hand before embracing him into a quick hug. 

"Sonny, we'll see you around." Dean gave his final goodbyes to the man, a little disappointed all of you had to leave so soon. He'd like to stick around for a little while longer and catch up with Sonny, but he was starting to miss his own bed after a stressful hunt like the one all of you endured. 

"You bet on that, kids." Sonny said. "Take it easy, man." 

All of you gave your final goodbyes to the man before you watched Sonny make his way back up to the house to join the boys. You let out a quiet sigh and walked to the Impala that was parked a few feet away. As you reached for the backseat door, Sam found himself caught up with how the hunt ended. The situation looked like it was going to end horribly, until it didn't. Talking out problems to the monster straight on almost never worked. But for some reason it did in this situation. 

"Hey, how did you know Timmy asking his mom to leave was gonna work?" Sam asked his brother, a little bit curious to hear the answer.

“I didn’t. Total Hail Mary.” Dean admitted. “Got lucky.”

"You just got lucky?" Sam repeated his brother's response, seeming to find it a bit funny like the man did. "Kind of like you did with this place. I mean, here I was thinking this was the worst part of your life, and it turns out it was the best. Why'd you ever leave?"

Dean would never admit the truth about this place to either one or Sam. There were some things about his life that he wanted to remain a secret. "Never felt right." Dean said. Sam didn't seem to fully believe the excuse his brother tried to use, you simply looked between both of the boys, understanding the things neither one of them wanted to say. "It was two months, Sam, okay, and I couldn't wait to get out of here. I don't know what to tell you. It wasn't me." 

The boys were good liars when they wanted to be. If you keep telling yourself the same thing over and over again, eventually you'd start to believe it, too. You opened up the car door and slid yourself inside with the brothers following in suit. Dean could lie to your face all you wanted, but you knew there was a special place in his heart for this home and Sonny. A possibility in your life that didn't turn out to be. A chance for normality that never came. For Sam it was his college years, and Dean it was here. While it never lasted long, the chance of getting a taste was sweet enough. Because what you wanted in the moment might not be the thing you really wanted after all. Something made all of you choose hunting instead of a normal life. 

Sam had a hunch of what made Dean decide not to stay at Sonny's all those years ago and join him and John. Something Dean always chose. His older brother never once abandoned him over the years. He was always there for him, always wanting to look out for him. Dean made sacrifices the way a parent did. And never once over the years did he make Sam feel guilty over it. He did what he always did, protected him. 

"Dean...thank you." Sam muttered two words he felt he didn't say enough to his brother. Dean's face slowly morphed into confusion at the compassion being thrown his way. He asked what for. "For always being there, for having my back. Look, I know it hasn't always been easy."

The car fell into silence at the heartfelt words Sam needed to say after understanding the importance of this place to his brother, even if he didn't want to say it. Dean swallowed at the shift in atmosphere. The heaviness of the guilt his brother must be feeling at the moment. In true Dean fashion, the man denied anything to help avoid a deeper conversation. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

You rolled your eyes at the man's response, not sure why you were expecting anything else from him. Dean turned on the engine and put the car into drive, sending the Impala forward and down the dirt path out of Sonny's ranch. You looked out the window to get one more good look at the place before turning your attention back to the road. 

+ + +

There was never a better feeling than coming back to the bunker and unwinding after the rough hunt you had. Sam decided he wanted to tackle the book he wanted to read and headed off to the library, you decided not to delay the unpacking you needed to do and the laundry that was starting to pile up in your hamper. You threw your duffel bag to the bed and reached to unzip it. pulling out the dirty clothes and throwing them to the overflowing pile of others. You let out a quiet sigh of annoyance and debated with yourself if you really wanted to do this right now...

Lucky for you, a momentary distraction came to you when Dean stepped into your shared bedroom with his own overnight bag he threw over to the couch. You'd been meaning to talk to him about the hunt. You watched as he kicked off his shoes and jumped onto the bed, relaxation finally coming over him after the long drive. You joined him without needing to be asked, curling up to his side and taking the rightful place you loved to be. You didn't entertain small talk like how you normally did when you wanted to ask Dean persona questions like you normally did. 

“I’ve been thinking...” You began.

“That’s never good.” Dean was quick to try and humor you with jokes that made him laugh, you responded with an eye roll like always. 

"What do you think our lives would be like if we never met? If you never left Sonny’s?" You asked him the question that had been burning in the back of your mind for a while now. Dean could try and deny the truth all he wanted to you, but you knew him better than he knew himself. You sat up so you were staring at him in the eye to see his reaction from your question. "I know Sammy’s the reason why you really left.” 

You watched as Dean opened his mouth to try and deny such a claim. You raised your brow slightly and waited for him to try and stop the conversation before it could go any further. He shot down all of you every time you tried to dig deeper into this part of his past. But it seemed he didn't want to deny anything with you. He let out a quiet sigh. "I couldn't leave the kid alone." 

“That’s what makes you the best big brother, ever.” You mumbled, a smile spreading across your lips. “I could picture you turning out to be like Sonny. Having a home for little wayward boys, making them better people. Maybe settle down with Robin...be happy.” 

“You think I’d settle down with Robin?” Dean teased you from the way you trailed off before finishing your sentence. Speaking words that almost sounded like they left a bad taste in your mouth from the thought alone of not having a life with him. “Are you jealous?”

“What? No!” You jumped a little too quickly to deny such a claim from him. You rolled your eyes when the smirk that spread across his lips grew a little wider at your reaction to his question. You reached out to fix the flannel he was wearing so it laid flat, using the few moments between your words to help formulate your thoughts better. “Far from it, actually. It was nice meeting someone from your face that wasn’t a hookup. I...I’m happy your life wasn’t that bad all the time.” You were now fidgeting with his buttons from what you said. “You got to have somewhat a normal life. Experience the awkwardness of being a teenager. Date a nice girl. Even if it only lasted a few months. It just makes me wonder what your life could have been if you stayed.” 

“I never really thought about it.” Dean shrugged, giving you the honest truth. “Not recently, at least.” 

You looked up at him after focusing on his shirt for a little while longer, asking another question. “Was she the first girl you got serious with?” 

"Why'd you ask that?" Dean's expression changed into slight confusion at such an odd sounding question. You saw his brow scrunch together as he wondered to himself if you 

 were jealous. Not of what she was to him, but the fact that it wasn't you who gave him the teenage bliss of first dates and making out on porches. Stupid things every sixteen year old got to experience. Things you missed out on when you were his age.

“Because of the way you acted around her when you first saw her at the diner. You acted like you were more than old friends." You said. "You get this look in your eye when you're around girls who...gave you something you never really got to have." 

“She made me understand what it was like to be a teenager. What relationships were like.” He said. “But she doesn’t compare to you. Not even by a long-shot.” 

"I know our paths were supposed to cross and all that crap, but sometimes I wonder what things would be like if we were just...normalish.” You said. “What if we never met back up as teenagers? We might have gone our entire lives not knowing each other. You really might have become a famous rockstar. I could have been an adoring fan of yours!” 

"Would have you been one of those groupies who'd do anything to get backstage to meet the singer?" Dean asked, wiggling his brow to prove his point. You quietly laughed at the way his mind always seemed to wander. "Do you think you would have gone to college and live the life the way your mom wanted if we never met?"

“Mmm, perhaps. Maybe I’d settle down with some schmuck and live some boring life.” You quietly laughed at the thought of having the American dream most people craved to have. A boring job with a white picket fence and a spouse they’d most likely divorce in ten years. “I can picture myself having some lame career. Pop out a few kids. Definitely would have a dog…I mean, how can I not?”

“We’re not getting a dog. Or a cat. You know my allergies wouldn’t handle it.” He quickly shot down your idea of adding a furry pet into your family when you looked at him the way you were right now. You still were a bit  bummed since you wrapped up the case with the Colonel a few weeks back. You’d do anything to give him a proper home, but you knew that it was impossible with the life you lead. “Sammy’s kind of like a dog. He’s hairy enough. And Kevin’s like a cat. He never leaves and sometimes roams from room to room.” 

“You’re terrible.” You lightly whacked Dean in the chest at his horrible joke that made you smile. He chuckled to himself and titled his head to the side that you found adorable. For some reason you found yourself staring into his eyes, a rush of emotions came over you. Sometimes it happened when the light hit him just right or he was simply doing something mundane. It was the realization that Dean was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. He was your soulmate, your better half. Even if he was a bit of an idiot sometimes. He was all yours. And fate had led you together. “I love you, Dean.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.” He whispered back to you. He leaned down slightly to give you a sweet and simple peck on the lips. “And don’t you forget that.” 

“I won’t.” You promised him. “Not ever.” 

Maybe that’s why he kept this of his past a secret for all these years. John told Sam that his older brother got lost on a hunt because it was just easier for everyone. Sam wouldn’t understand why John couldn’t pick his brother back up from this place. You bet that even at twelve years old Sam butted heads with his father. 

And Dean never told the truth because...because this place was something that made him think for a second that the life he had wasn’t what he wanted. He could’ve changed it around and never looked back. He could’ve gone to that dance like a normal teenager and continued on with Robin. He could’ve finished up school and possibly went off to college. Learn guitar from and become a big rockstar. Or go to college and study engineering. Dean was smart, much as he doubted himself at times. There was an opportunity to change his life around and stay with someone who cared for him and gave the right kind of tough love he needed at times. And he would’ve done it, only if he was an only child. Maybe if Sam was a few years older and was able to take care of himself on his own. 

Dean’s life could have gone in a million different directions if he wanted All of your lives could have. The one he was given was tough and unbearable at times. He suffered too much grief and constantly had a crisis that needed solving. But the good outweighed the bad. If his life didn’t go the way it did, he wouldn’t have met you. Or Cas. And few people he called friends. Dean learned that his life, good or bad, was his own to control after all the crap he dealt with before in the past. It wasn’t perfect, God knows that, but it was his. He was able to do anything he wanted. And the realization made him think back to what he said about you to Robin when she asked if you and him were married. Not yet...but soon. He hoped very soon. 

[Next Part]

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[barisiscourtroom]

After 22x10, I, as so many others, quickly decided that it was Rafael on the phone (Sonny even wore his tie!), so I wrote an episode related thing. I’m ace myself, and I like the idea of ace!Sonny, and I hc them both as gay (strangely enough, since I tend to always hc everyone as bi, but not Barisi for some reason), so this is my take on what could happen after that episode.

Once again a huge thank you to @novemberhush for the beta read and for answering all my questions and helping me make this better! ♥

A Call to Come Out ao3

1559 words | Teen warnings: mentions internalized homophobia characters: Sonny Carisi, Rafael Barba, Amanda Rollins tags: Sonny Carisi & Amanda Rollins friendship, Episode Related, Post-Episode: 22x10 Welcome to the Pedo Motel, Established Relationship, Asexual Sonny, Gay Sonny, Gay Rafael, Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia

Sonny accepted the call with an apologetic smile to Rafael. "Amanda," he said both in greeting and to let Rafael know who it was. He got up from the couch to head towards the kitchen. "How is everything?"

"Hey, Sonny, I don’t really want to talk about it, I just wanted to hear a friendly voice," Amanda said, making Sonny smile.

"Okay, I can do that," he said.

"You were about to tell me something when I got the call," Amanda said.

Sonny remembered that all too well. His awkwardness as he tried to speak still embarrassed him. "Yeah," he said.

"Tell me now? It was about that hot date of yours, wasn’t it?" Amanda said, her voice teasing.

"Yeah, it was, and, uh, about me." He took a deep breath and looked at Rafael, who was still sitting on the couch, doing something on his phone. He must have sensed Sonny watching him, because he turned to give him a reassuring smile and a nod. Sonny nodded back and spoke, "I’m gay."

"I, uh. Okay," Amanda said.

"I’m also asexual, apparently," Sonny said.

"What, uh, I don’t know what that means?" Amanda said.

"It means I don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone, and for me, it also means that I… don’t really want sex," Sonny said quietly. Rafael had told him that it was no one's business but his, that he didn’t have to tell anyone if he didn’t want to, and Sonny knew that was true, but he wanted to tell Amanda, she was his best friend. Second best friend, but Rafael was also his partner, so he wasn’t sure he should count him.

"Okay," Amanda said slowly. Sonny wished he could see her, so he could read her silences.

"But, uh, yeah, so I have a… we don’t really like the term boyfriend, I mean, we’re both over 40, we’re not exactly boys anymore, so I guess I have a partner," Sonny said.

Amanda huffed a soft laugh. "Okay, well, that’s nice though, congratulations, I’m happy for you," she said, and Sonny breathed out in relief. Which she obviously heard. "Aw, hey, come on."

"Sorry," Sonny hurried out, "it’s just that you’re, well, you’re the first person I’ve told, except, uh-"

"Your hot date?" Amanda teased, and it was Sonny’s turn to huff a little laugh.

"Yeah, except my hot date," he said. "And you’re important to me, it’s… really scary and you’re my best friend, and it’s terrifying, especially considering our history, and I don’t want to hurt you."

"Oh," Amanda said.

Sonny pulled a kitchen chair out to sit, putting his elbows on the table and his hand over his eyes. "I didn’t - I guess I thought my feelings for you back then were romantic, because I love you and you mean the world to me, and because I… well, I guess I didn’t want to accept being gay, and I didn’t know then that I don’t feel sexual attraction, I just thought that’s how everyone felt, so when I have felt the way that I feel about you before, I’ve thought it was normal, that I’ve been in love, because even if I always felt… differently about men, I just pushed that down and ignored it, you know?"

His heart was beating hard in his chest, his throat tight, and he very nearly begged her to know what he meant, to understand, because he didn’t want to hurt her, he needed her to be his friend.

"I…" Amanda started slowly, quietly, and Sonny squeezed his eyes shut, his breath shallow. "I don’t know, I guess, because I do feel sexual attraction, so I don’t think I can ever understand, not really, but… I think I understand what you mean."

"Yeah?" Sonny rasped.

"Yeah, of course," Amanda said. Her voice was a little rough, like she was holding back tears too, and Sonny pressed his thumb and index finger against his eyelids. "So, you want to tell me about your partner?"

The forced cheer in her voice was fairly obvious, but she was trying, so Sonny would too.

"It’s, uh, well, he has said it’s okay to tell you who he is, but you gotta promise you won’t make fun of me, okay?" Sonny asked.

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Amanda said, mock serious, and Sonny huffed another laugh and rubbed his eyes before lowering his hand.

"Rafael Barba," he said, and just saying his name had Sonny smiling.

"Rafael Barba," Amanda repeated faintly.

"Yeah," Sonny said.

"And you made me promise not to make fun of you, Sonny, you’re the worst," Amanda said.

Sonny grinned. "Well, I do know you, and I’m not as stupid as everyone thinks, you know," he said.

"Rafael Barba," Amanda said. "Sonny Carisi and Rafael Barba. Holy crap."

"Yeah, yeah," Sonny said, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, tell me everything," Amanda said. "I mean, I know how you met, but how did you meet, you know?"

"I mean, looking back at it, I think that I was in love with him the whole time, but I told myself I just admired him, you know. Then, when he left, our relationship changed, we started talking about other things than work and law, mostly by text at first, or if we met up for drinks or something, then one day we came to talk about religion and homosexuality, and I sorta accidentally came out to him. I panicked, Amanda, really, it was bad, but he’s gay and grew up Catholic, he handled it really well, and he helped me a lot and made me see that I can be both.

"Then, during the trial, we met a lot more than usual. I mean we barely met every other month before, not even that often during last year with the virus and all, but over the trial I saw him every day and my feelings became very clear to me, it was so obvious, I don’t know how I could have ever convinced myself it wasn’t there. So I told myself I’d tell him once the trial was over, if nothing else just to admit that I had feelings for a man, but he beat me to it and asked me on a date before I could," Sonny said.

"Rafael Barba asked you on a date," Amanda said.

Sonny grinned, he knew he probably looked love-struck and stupid, but Rafael Barba had asked him on a date, he was allowed. "Yeah, he did. He said he’d been flirting with me for years, called me dense for not noticing," he said, smiling at the memory.

"God, you sound so in love, wow, I didn’t know you-" Amanda abruptly stopped herself, but she quickly continued, "You sound happy, Sonny, and I really am happy for you."

"Thanks, Amanda, that means a lot to me," Sonny said.

They talked for nearly 20 minutes, mostly about him and Rafael, about their dates and about their long conversations, both before and after the trial, about how Rafael had been the one to explain asexuality to Sonny and how it felt realizing he was asexual, about how supportive Rafael had been while Sonny learned to understand himself in relation to most other people. They talked until Amanda realized that Sonny was at Rafael’s place.

"Why are you talking to me then?" she asked.

"Because you’re my friend, Amanda," Sonny said.

"And I love you for that, but go be with your man," Amanda said.

"Are you okay?" Sonny asked.

"Yeah, it helped to talk for a bit, thanks, Sonny. I’ll tell you more later, I just… really don’t want to talk about it right now," Amanda said.

"Okay, I’m here if you need me," Sonny said.

"I know. We’ll talk soon, okay?" Amanda said.

"Yeah, talk soon, take care," Sonny said.

"Say hi to Barba," Amanda said, and Sonny swore he could hear her grin.

"I will, and I’m sure he says hi back," he said as flatly as he could manage. It made Amanda huff out a little laugh though, so he considered it a success.

"Bye, Sonny," she said.

"Bye, Amanda," he said.

He tapped the phone to end the call, then he got up and put the chair back before going back to the living room to sit next to Rafael again.

"How’d it go?" Rafael asked softly.

"Good, I think," Sonny said. "She says hi, and she said she was happy for me."

"Good," Rafael said, leaning back against the couch and wrapping an arm around Sonny’s shoulders to tug him closer.

"I said you’d say hi back," Sonny said, tilting his head to smile at Rafael, who rolled his eyes.

"Say hi back," he said dryly, but then his face softened, and he smiled as he leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of Sonny’s mouth. "I’m glad it went well, I know how important she is to you and I know how scary it can be. I’m proud of you."

"I couldn’t have done it without you," Sonny said, because it was true.

"I don’t believe that for a second, but I’m glad I could help at all," Rafael said. "Do you want to stay tonight?"

Sonny sighed and settled in more comfortably, his head tucked into the crook of Rafael’s neck. "Yeah, I’d like that," he said.

[enamoured-x]

Could you do number 21 - “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” “I wish I could say the same.” from prompt list with Sonny??

*Not my gif

a/n: Ugh, angsty Sonny HURTS. Anyways, hope you enjoy! 

You knew what was going to happen when Sonny took on the position as ADA. You knew it was going to be more long hours and canceled dates and dinners. And you were fine with it. You were so proud of Sonny for finally getting to this point. You had been there when he was in night school, bringing him cups and cups of coffee when he was up late studying and always making sure he was well fed in between study sessions and exams. So to see him get to this point was truly amazing and you couldn’t have been happier for him. Even knowing what it meant for your relationship. Even knowing it meant less time with Sonny. At least you still got to see him when he would come home late at night or sometimes you caught him in the morning. There were also the times when you would drop lunch off at the courthouse for him but he could never talk long and most times he was rushing out, food forgotten on his desk just to get soggy and thrown out when he returned hours later. 

You were trying, you really were. You tried to work around his taxing schedule, sometimes moving appointments at your job or even moving around the hours you worked to better suit it to his schedule. You were fine with it. Until even the hours he could spend at home were not spent at home at all. They were spent at the office again or at forlini’s with the squad. You tried not to be hurt by the neglect. You tried to be happy that he had his dream job and he was also still close with the squad. But it was hard when in doing all of this, he was pulling away from you. At least that’s what it felt like. Even when he’d crawl in bed at night, you’d get a measly kiss on the forehead and then he’d turn over and fall asleep. Or when you would make dinner, explicitly telling him what time to be home for it, he’d cancel and say he had plans with the squad. Or Amanda. And you wish that didn’t upset you and stir up envy in you. 

You were friends with Amanda, sure you weren’t that close but she was Sonny’s co-worker and friend so it was a casual thing. But when Sonny started spending time with her despite you moving around your schedule to spend time with him, well, you were not having it. He’d cancel dinner, letting you know he’d be having dinner with Amanda. Always saying things like “she’s got two mouths to feed, I’m just trying to be a good friend” or “Amanda needs me right now, I can’t leave her alone”. And damn did it hurt hearing all these excuses. You needed Sonny, you and him were a family. But these days it seemed like he was content playing house with her, you weren’t even a thought. Eventually you had enough. And it was your birthday of all days that Sonny chose to keep his notorious streak of bailing on you. The sad part was, you didn’t even think he knew it was your birthday. You woke up to a cold bed and not even a text from him. And here you were, sitting at home watching tv and eating cupcakes your friend bought you, like a damn loser. This wasn’t a birthday party, it was a damn pity party. 

Sonny had obviously forgotten about you and your birthday. The clock had read 10pm. You didn’t even know why you still stayed up waiting for him. You knew he had gotten off hours ago, and your heart restricted just thinking about the fact that he was most definitely with Amanda doing god knows what. Over the past few months you’d try to push away the thoughts that would infiltrate your mind, all those what ifs, what if he doesn’t love you anymore? What if he’s cheating on you? What if he’s cheating on you with Amanda? What if he loves her? Those were the worst. And over the past few months, to accompany those what ifs, were doubts. Self doubt, sure. But maybe...maybe yours and Sonny's relationship had run its course. Maybe this was it. And damn did that hurt but it hurt worse to know that Sonny spent his free time with another woman. And in that hurt was also anger. White hot anger that was slowly killing you. Which you were in right now, you were sitting in it. Already done with all that grief. No, now you were just angry. So when he finally walked through that door, the anger was stirring within you, just below the surface. 

“Doll? You’re still up?” He asked once he walked in and saw you sitting on the couch. He was still in his suit but his tie was loose around his neck already and a few buttons of his shirt had already been unbuttoned. Whether it was because he really was fucking her or because he got comfortable at her place...well, both ideas pissed you off. 

“Yup, still up. Still celebrating.” You said, saluting him with your wine glass. He set down his briefcase and walked over to the couch. 

“Celebrating? Celebrating what?” He asked, confusion overtaking his features. Your heart sunk. You knew he forgot but there was still a part of you that hoped he had remembered and had some gift or surprise for you. Not that you needed those things, but it wouldn’t have hurt. 

“My birthday.” You said, taking a sip of your wine. You weren’t looking at him anymore, just staring at the tv. 

“What?” He asked and then he he mumbled under his breath like he suddenly realized it, “fuck, doll. I’m such an asshole. I totally forgot, I’m so sorry. Fuck.” He sat down on the couch next to you, placing a hand on your thigh. You pushed it off you. He grimaced. 

“I swear I didn’t mean to. I got so busy at work and then Amanda offered to cook dinner and I said yes because I thought you were busy with work all day.” You nodded your head at his words. You knew he was with Amanda but it still hurt hearing it. 

“Right.” You ran your finger over your wine glass. You honestly didn’t know what to say. Or maybe you did, you just didn’t know where to start.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll make it up to you, anywhere you wanna go, I’ll take you.” He suggested. He moved his hand to place on your thigh again but he thought better of it and kept them to himself.

“Dinner tomorrow?” You weren’t actually okay with any of this. You also knew the answer to your question because you’d be silly to think he could make time for you.

“Oh, baby, I can’t tomorrow. I promised Amanda I’d go with her to see a play, the girls are staying with the babysitter.” That sounded a lot like a date night. Both of them finally having the time off, the sitter watching the kids. Tears sprang to your eyes. Maybe it wasn’t just anger. Maybe your grief was still very much prevalent. 

“Then don’t worry about it. Go on your date and I’ll just have dinner with some girlfriends.” You said and stood up, making your way to the kitchen to put your glass in the skin. You heard him following you. 

“Date? Doll, come on. You know me and Amanda are just friends.” You rolled your eyes at that. You set your glass in the sink and then turned around to face Sonny. 

“Yeah, just friends. You’re over her house every night, Dominick. You choose to spend your off time with her, rather than your actual girlfriend.” You pointed out. Your words finally coming to you. 

He shook his head and rubbed a hand over his mouth.

“She’s having a hard time right now. You don’t understand. She’s a single mom and she needs my help.” You scoffed at the weak excuse.

“She doesn’t need your help, Sonny. Her kids have nothing to do with you going to see a play with her tomorrow night and they don’t have anything to do with you meeting her for drinks or for lunch almost everyday.” You couldn’t believe this was happening, on your birthday of all days. 

“I just want to make sure she’s okay and happy–” You had enough. 

“Are you sleeping with her?” His brows furrowed and he shook his head. 

“Fuck no. How could you ask me that?” 

“You spend all your time with her. You cancel plans with me to be with her. So what is it, Sonny? What’s really going on?” You asked, wanting him to give you something. To give you the truth.

“Nothing’s going on! I swear. I can’t believe you’d think I’d actually cheat on you.” He looked angry now but you didn’t care. How could he not see how it looked? How it felt being cast aside for someone else?

“So there’s nothing between you two? Not even a kiss after a few glasses of wine at dinner? Not even a touch of her hand on your thigh?” There had to be something. And you were right once you saw him wince and then sigh. You were sure you were going to start crying any second. 

“I...fuck, doll. I don’t want to lie to you. She...she made a pass at me the other night. Tried to kiss me but I pushed her away before she could. I swear I did. She had a little too much to drink and she tried to get handsy but I swear to god I pushed her away, doll. I reminded her I was with you. She backed off and she hasn’t tried anything since.” A tear escaped your eye and trailed down your cheek. Sonny cursed and tried to take you in his arms. You backed away from him though, shaking your head.

“Why the fuck do you think she tried to do that, Dominick? Huh? You had been giving her all the signals. Making her dinner, watching her kids, going out with her. You’ve practically been dating her, just without the intimacy.” 

“No. God, no. I was just trying to be a good friend. I–”

“For fucks sake! Stop with the friends bullshit! She tried to make a move on you because she thought you were into her too. Because you entertained her! I… I can’t do this shit anymore, Sonny. If you want to be with her, just say the fucking word. Say it so we can be done with this and I don’t have to stay up late at night wondering if you’ve been fucking her or if you’ve fallen out of love with me and have fallen in love with her.” 

He shook his head, tears now filling his eyes as he stepped toward you and grabbed your shoulders.

“You’re the only one I want to be with. I swear to god, doll. I’m sorry, I’m sorry for what it looks like. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Sonny was terrified. He was terrified because he knew where this conversation was going.

“You say that every time you cancel on me to be with her. And guess what? You never make it up to me. I’m...I’m just tired, Sonny. I’m tired of feeling so lonely in this fucking relationship. Is there even love here anymore?” And there it was. The question you had been toying with the past few months. Sonny choked on a sob at your words. 

“Doll, doll, don’t say that. There is love. I love you so much. I love you more than I thought I could love someone.” Tears were falling down his cheeks as he grabbed your face in his hands, trying to make you understand what he was saying. By now, you were full on crying too. 

“You’re the best thing to ever happen to me.” He said, swiping at your tears with his thumbs. Your heart was heavy and you felt your energy slowly leaving your body. You couldn’t do this with him anymore. Because you knew tomorrow would still be the same. Nothing was going to change. 

“I wish I could say the same.” You said, and meant it. The start of yours and Sonny’s relationship had been amazing and had been the best year of your life. But now, now you were just miserable and alone and unhappy. Maybe there was still love here, maybe there wasn’t. But you weren’t going to stick around to find out while hurting yourself in the process. 

“Baby, please. You love me, I love you. Please. We can get past this, I can do better. I will do better. Just please give me a chance here, doll.” You bit your lip, wishing the tears would stop flowing. If there wasn’t love here anymore, if this had been a long time coming, then why did it still hurt so goddamn much? Why did your heart still ache so deep? Why did some part of you still want to stay? But you couldn’t, you knew you couldn’t.

“I can’t, Sonny. I can’t keep doing this to myself.” You pried his hands away from your face. He shook his head and cried harder, pleading with you.

“Maybe… maybe someday. Maybe never. But maybe… maybe we can try again.” You told him. And with that you left him standing alone in the kitchen. Heading toward your shared room to get what you needed. 

You weren’t upset that he wasn’t trying to beg you to stay. Sonny of all people knew when you made a decision you stuck by it. You were serious about this and no amount of persuasion would make you change your mind otherwise. So you left. You left and months later when you ran into Sonny, well, maybe that was the someday you were talking about. 

[repulsivepangolin]

SEAL Team Whumptober 16/31 -Trent, Full Metal, Clay

No 16. A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY Forced to Beg | Hallucinations | Shoot the Hostage

____________________

It had started out like any other spin up. But they had barely been out there for two hours when stuff started going downhill, fast.

The spin up was already bad enough before it started spiraling. Clay didn’t feel so hot. He couldn’t really pinpoint anything being wrong, but he didn’t feel good. Nowhere near the point where it was alright to say home, but he felt tired and worn out. Probably needed a good night’s rest once that was a possibility once again.

But nothing was ever simple, and the only easy day was yesterday. About two hours into the mission when they started taking fire, and were forced to dive for cover.

*    *    *

He wasn’t able to focus like he usually did when he returned fire. It was hard enough to balance his weapon in front of him. So he figured he’d just do his best and hope that he hit some of those shooting at them.

Bullets were crashing into tree trunks, the ground and rocks. It felt like forever, like it always did. Seconds felt like minutes.

Luckily for them, the enemies stopped just as suddenly they had started. They saw some of their enemies  

“Everyone okay?” Jason asked from where he had hunkered down.

A couple of versions of ‘yeah’ sounded from the rest of the team, Clay included.

“Mostly…” Full Metal shrugged as he let he head fall against the boulder he was leaned up against. Taking a few slow breaths.

“No.” Trent frowned, cradling his right arm.

“You alright there, Trent?” Sonny who was closest to him asked.

“No…” Trent shook his head a little, “Think I broke my wrist. -Or sprained the hell out of it…”

“Ouch…” Sonny sympathized.

“And you Metal?” Jason asked, “What does ‘mostly’ mean?”

Metal looked back at him before he started getting to his feet, like many of the other team members, “Twisted ankle… And kneed a rock or something… Nothing to worry about.”

“Kneed a rock?” Sonny tilted his head, “Don’t you have kneepads on?”

Metal nodded once he was standing. He stood for a couple of seconds before a frown started spreading across his face and he bent down at his hips and pulled up one leg of his pants.

“Whoah-kay…” Sonny grimaced, “Your knee is bleeding!”

Metal hummed a short agreement, before he let the leg of his pants fall back down.

“You had kneepads on, right?”

“Yeah.” Metal nodded, slight confusion expressed on his face.

“Then why is your knee bleeding?”

“Don’t bother about it…” Metal shrugged, “I think Trent needs your attention more than I do.”

“Oh, yup… Sorry…” Sonny frowned as he turned towards Trent, who was still supporting his right arm.

*    *    *

Metal sensed Sonny and Ray helping Trent out while he tried to figure out why the heck his own knee was bleeding enough to soak his boot.

He found an inch-wide hole in the outer fabric. He pressed his middle finger inside, and prodded against the kneepad. Found a slit there as well. Something had sliced straight through his kneepad.

He glanced around, looking for what could be the culprit.

*    *    *

“Can you wiggle your fingers?” Sonny asked as he demonstrated what he wanted Trent to attempt.

“You know I’m usually the one who makes you goons do the finger wiggling!” Trent scowled, “No. I can’t. Already tried.”

“Copy that.” Sonny scrounged up his nose, “What do you recommend?”

“Splint it and sling it.”

“Sling as well?”

“My elbow and shoulder won’t be doing me any favors if I don’t support my arm…” Trent sighed, “The old injury really acts up whenever I hurt my arm a little.”

Sonny nodded, “SAM-splint?”

Trent nodded.

“Hey, Sonny… Toss me some sutures, will you?” Full Metal called out. Sonny did like he was asked, and Metal caught the small package in mid-air.

*    *    *

“I’ll be last man…” Full Metal announced as they prepared to get going once more.

“Like hell you will!” Trent scowled, “Didn’t you say you twisted your ankle? We can’t have the possibly slowest guy last.”

“My ankle is fine.” Metal set his jaw and leaned onto his busted ankle, “Just had one of those half minute stingers. All good now.”

“-And your knee?” Sonny asked.

“Just a small laceration. Two or three rough stitches and it was all good.”

Trent scowled at him, trying to act like he was in the process of looking straight through Metal.

“I won’t need to, but If I start falling behind, I can just say so… Or whistle, or key my mike…” Metal shrugged.

“Alright! Alright!” Jason threw his hands up in the air, “Trent, if Metal says he’s fine, he’s fine! Let’s get going!”

*    *    *

Many hours later, the sun was about to dip down below the horizon.

He hated to admit it, but he was struggling to keep up. Hadn’t it been for Clay being a ridiculous lot slower than usual, he would’ve fallen behind. The other guys adjusted their speed a little to Clay. The kid didn’t look too good. He looked like he was running a fever or something.

Full Metal was edging on desperate to get off his right leg. He had of course lied when he insinuated that his ankle was all good. His knee wasn’t that much better.

He was constantly chewing at the inside of his chin in order to distract himself from the pain in his leg.

*    *    *

They set up camp for the night and tried to get some sleep. One man keeping watch at all times.

Full Metal didn’t sleep much. At best he tried to look like he was sleeping most of the night.

His ankle was throbbing violently, and he knew it would’ve been smarter to actually do something about his ankle. It was badly sprained, but right now it throbbed and cut like it was broken instead.

He should’ve iced his ankle, kept it elevated, given it rest. But instead he had trekked through a jungle-landscape for ten more hours.

He just hoped it wouldn’t be worse tomorrow. But he knew it would. It always was, and the way he had treated his damn leg ensured it definitely would be worse by daylight.

*    *    *

Clay felt like absolute shit the next morning.

His head hurt, his shoulders hurt, his hips and knees hurt. Even his hands hurt. And his face felt funny.

He groaned as he opened his eyes. He felt feverish. Felt like hell.

“What’s that kid?” Sonny drawled as he rubbed his eyes.

“I feel like shit…”

Sonny took one look at Clay before he started laughing. “What did you do to your face?”

“Huh?”

“You look like someone slapped you!” Sonny choked out as he tried not to laugh. “And like your face gained 30 pounds!”

“Shhh…” Clay frowned, “My everything hurts…”

“You really don’t look good…” Trent chuckled, “But you do look hilarious.”

“Fuck you guys…”

“Do you have a fever?” Trent asked starting to sit up.

“Feels like it.” Clay groaned.

Trent leaned closer, careful not to jostle his right arm, and reached out for Clay’s forehead with his left.

“Damn, you’re burning up…”

Clay nodded a little.

“You’re getting a Tylenol breakfast.” Trent frowned, “Or anything fever reducing I can find…”

“Can I just stay here…?”

“No, sorry kid…” Trent shook his head, “Think we’ll need to keep an eye on you.”

“I don’t think I can…”

“We’ll figure something out…” Trent shrugged a little, “Worst case, Sonny, Brock or Metal will have to carry you…”

“Huh?” Brock stirred a little at the mention of his name, “What are you volunteering me for now?”

“Clay’s sick.” Sonny shot in before Trent could get around to it, “Looking and feeling like shit. Probably won’t keep up with us today.”

Brock shifted his gaze to Clay, and literally snorted a laugh, “Sorry. You’ve gotta feel awful… But someone needs to take a picture of your face before that passes.”

“Not funny.”

“-From an outside point of view, it is…” Trent tilted his head a little.

“We should probably wake the others as well…” Sonny yawned, “Is Ray the watch right now?”

Brock checked his watch and nodded.

Poked Jason awake first, not surprised when he couldn’t keep from laughing at how ridiculous and beat Clay looked.

“It’s not like Full Metal to sleep through this much noise…” Sonny frowned, looking over at the greying man.

“Think he had trouble falling asleep tonight…” Brock shrugged, “He was awake when I went to relieve Jason, and when I came back after Ray came to relieve me.”

“Yeah?” Trent frowned, “That man can sleep anywhere. Anytime.”

“Wake him.” Jason nodded to Brock.

Brock did as he was told, and shook Metal’s shoulder.

“Wai- What?” Metal frowned as he blinked awake.

“Wake up sleepy-head…” Brock smirked, earning himself a tired scowl from Full Metal, “Sleep well?”

Metal only groaned in return.

“That means: Not enough, and get me some coffee before you speak to me again…” Trent translated helpfully, “There’s also a threat of what’s going to happen without coffee… But that’s hard to describe verbally.”

“Thanks, I speak fluent morning-caveman myself…” Brock winked, “But yeah, we’ve gotta see if Bravo-2 fixed us some coffee while being on the last lookout of the night.”

*    *    *

He did not know how he was going to be able to keep up with the others today. His ankle felt like it had knives inside of it. And he was pretty sure that it was so swollen that he would’ve had problems with getting his right boot back on, if he had taken it off the evening before.

Luckily he hadn’t.

“Here… Peace offering…” Brock said as he returned from where Ray had been lookout the last hour or so with a kettle of fresh brewed coffee.

Full Metal and the others found their respective coffee mugs and held them out so Brock could fill them up.

Metal warmed his hands on his cup for a couple of minutes before he was ready to take a sip.

He savored the first sip. Savored it while he tried to work out in his head how he was going to work around his leg that day. He didn’t even know how he was going to get up.

“What’s with Clay’s face…” he frowned after a while, it had taken him a bit of time to see it.

“Can we not talk about my face, please…” Clay pretty much whined, “I don’t feel good.”

“I can see that…” He smirked, taking another sip of coffee, then he focused on Trent, “How’s your wrist?”

Bravo-4 offered up a slight grimace, “Let’s just say it’s gonna be good to have some pictures taken of it when we get home…”

Metal nodded.

“And you, how’s the leg?”

“Not too bad…” Blatant lie, “Feels like it might’ve stiffened up a bit overnight.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded. “But, nothing to worry about. I’ll just be limping a bit the first hour or so. But looking over at Clay, I don’t think I’ll be the one to slow anyone down today.”

“I’m tryin’ to convince them to just leave me here…” Clay muttered into his elbow.

“That’s not gonna happen…” Sonny smirked.

*    *    *

Ray chuckled a bit when he first saw Clay that morning, but quickly composed himself. “You don’t look so hot…”

“I feel like I’ve been dragged through the grinder and hung up wet.” Clay winced as he sat and tried drinking some coffee one of the guys had put in front of him.

“That’s sooo many mix-ups I’m not even going to try to break it down…” he frowned, “You kinda look like my daughter did when she had this disease last year.”

Clay barely hummed a questioning tone.

“Ever had the fifth disease before?”

“The fifth what?”

“The fifth disease…” Ray repeated, “Has a long fancy medical name. But I’m not going to try to remember that. She had those slapped looking apple-cheeks as well. Although it looks like you got it worse than she did.”

“I feel like death…”

“Should we have called in medevac for him?” Trent asked, looking up at Ray.

“I don’t think that should be necessary…” Ray scrounged up his nose, “But I think it’s like chicken pox… Like, it’s no big deal when you’re a kid, but believe me… You don’t want chicken pox when you’re 32.”

“Speaking from experience?”

Ray nodded.

“I’m kinda hesitant about dragging him along…” Trent admitted, “He’s got a pretty bad fever.”

Ray nodded, “He’d sure slow us down.”

“We pass this point headed for exfil as well.” Jason shrugged, “Could leave him here, have Trent stay back and watch over him.”

“Best idea ever!” Clay shot in.

Trent didn’t argue. He knew the reason for it being him and not Metal who would stay behind. Metal could still hold his own in combat, he on the other hand couldn’t even aim his rifle at the moment. And even though he had the most experience with first aid, and usually was the team’s medic, all the other guys were skilled as well. Every tier-one operator was. And neither him or Clay would be fit for a fight right now.

“No one’s arguing?” Jason asked. No one did. “Okay, then it’s set. We’ll be two men short for the main portion of the mission, but…”

“Well just be in the way and slow you down if we continue.” Trent nodded.

“Yeah.” Jason nodded, “If Clay’s situation takes a turn for the worse, feel free to call in medevac…”

“No, I just need rest…” Clay winced, “This is A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY…”

Trent nodded at Jason.

*    *    *

It was much harder to mask how bad his leg hurt today. But he managed to get out from under the tarp without anyone noticing, and once he was outside it was just a matter of not walking while anyone was looking at him.

Easy.

*    *    *

NOT EASY!

They had walked for almost two hours in rough terrain, and he was seriously struggling to keep up. Seriously struggling not to sound his discomfort as well.

“Take five!” Jason called, signaling them all to stop.

He had probably never been as relieved to have a short break before.

“Scotty… You’re looking a bit…” Jason shrugged, “That ankle bothering you?”

“A little…” he had to admit it. He was slowing them down, putting weight on his foot was increasingly painful, and he was pretty sure it was more than sprained by now.

“Do you need to sit the rest of the mission out?”

“No. I can deal with it.” He sighed, “But it’s gonna be nice to get this one done.”

Jason nodded.

“Feels like this mission is cursed…” Sonny frowned, “Clay is sick. Trent and Full Metal hurt.”

“Hey. Ain’t that bad.” Metal shrugged, looking like he actually meant it.

“Anyway, I’m not liking it!”

“None of us do…” Ray shrugged.

*    *    *

Sometimes things has a peculiar way of going from bad to worse. And this mission truly followed Murphy’s law to the point.

He had been on his way to sneak out to a position when he suddenly heard the telltale sound of a pump action shotgun being cocked behind him.

“Damn it…” he muttered to himself.

“Drop weapon!”

There was no way he would be fast enough to do anything other than what they guy behind him ordered. So he did as he was told.

“Alpha-1, see you’ve got some company.” Sonny’s voice whispered into his ear through the coms.

He nodded a little.

Then he guy behind him said something in a language he didn’t understand and all of the sudden four pairs of arms wrapped around his arms.

“Walk!”

He knew he didn’t have an option.

*    *    *

They made it down to a building. He was tied up against a pillar.

And then time stretched on.

He didn’t know how much time had passed before he saw Brock’s camo-grease covered face behind a few leaves.

“SHOOT HOSTAGE! SHOOT HOSTAGE!” the same voice as earlier started screaming all of the sudden. And that’s when the air exploded with gunfire.

His instinct to get down and make himself as small as he could was overruled by the ropes which tied him to the pillar. But he didn’t get hit.

The gunfire died down. A couple of seconds passed, then Sonny and Brock stepped out of the bushes.

“We got what we came for…” Brock winked as he tapped his earpiece to indicate that Ray or Jason had said something over the radio. “How are you?”

“Tired of standing.”

“Understandable…” Sonny nodded as he cut the ropes.

He couldn’t disguise it anymore once he was free to walk once more.

“How bad is that ankle…”

“Right now?”

Brock nodded.

“Bad.” Metal shrugged as he prepared for another tentative step. Grimacing as pain shot through his ankle.

“We should take a look at that.”

“If that boot comes off, it’s not going back on for a few days…” Metal admitted.

“Hey, Bravo-1… What’s the status on that guy we were sent here to get?”

“Probably a couple bruised or broken ribs. Many lacerations.” Jason answered, “Probably a mild concussion.”

“You think we could trick them into sending a medevac for him? -Toss Metal in there with him?”

“Is everything okay?”

“Remember that ankle?” Sonny smirked, “Sure hasn’t gotten any better.”

“Yeah, we could probably work something out.” Jason chuckled, “Tell him it’s a case of beer.”

Sonny smirked and looked up at Full Metal, “Case of beer, and you might fly out of here.”

“Deal.” Metal chuckled, “We’re stopping to pick up Trent and Clay as well?”

“No.” Sonny shook his head, “Trent already made that call.”

“Clay got worse?”

“No, not necessarily worse…” Sonny shrugged, “Just decided it was inhumane to keep him out there.”

“Oh. Okay.”

*    *    *

24 hours later, most of them were sitting in couches and chairs in the room next to their cages.

There were two cases of their favorite beer under the table, and everyone except Clay were there. He was at home, sleeping.

Everyone had at least some scrapes and bruises, but the two only real injuries were on Trent and Full Metal.

Trent had a cast up above his elbow, and had his arm in a sling. The x-rays had proved that he had broken his radius right above the wrist.

Full Metal had a walking boot on his right leg, which held his ankle stable enough until the swelling went down enough for the doctors to put his fibula back together with some new hardware and reattach a tendon which had said sayonara.

Most of the team had scolded him for not telling them how bad his ankle had really been, but in a way they had been understanding about it as well.

That being said, they contemplated putting up a 24hour watch to make sure he rested and kept his ankle elevated until the surgery.

[sctanic]

『 dove cameron. twenty-one. cis woman. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that THEODORA ‘THEO’ KENNEDY from SYCAMORE WAY i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -BEWILDERING & -EXTEMPORANEOUS. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +BEWITCHING & +UNBIASED. i hope i see them around again!

hi everyone! i’m nico and i am so happy to be here. it’s been so long since i’ve played theo and i’ve been searching for a place she’d fit in for ages. i apologize for the length of my intro and fully do not expect anyone to actually read the entire thing but if you do and you like what you read, don’t hesitate to give it a like or send me a message to plot!

trigger warnings; parental death, murder, sexual assault, abuse, alcohol, drugs

S T A T I S T I C S

full name : theodora jane kennedy nickname: theo, t.j, teddy to a select few   date of birth  :  september 1, 1999 age : twenty-one height : 5′1″ sexuality :  pansexual   relationship status : taken by sonny deluca children : river and regan deluca, twins, nearly two years old. occupation  :  paranormal investigator for ghost adventures aesthetic  :  dried blood, cigarette smoke, spilled red wine, ripped jeans over fishnets, abandoned houses, late night walks through cemeteries, combat boots, smudged mascara, bruised skin, leather jackets, old film cameras, black lipstick, nightmares, dried out flowers.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

positive traits : bewitching, unbiased, passionate   negative traits : bewildering, extemoraneous, impulsive likes : the occult, rebellion, horror movies, the smell of fall, cinnamon   dislikes : pizza, romcoms, gender norms, willy wonka, early mornings myer-briggs : ISFP enneagram : type 8

B I O G R A P H Y

╰     ‘  theodora kennedy was born on september 1, 1999 in a small town on long island, new york to a young couple. daniel and christina kennedy already had a six year old son when they welcomed their daughter into the world and although she had not been planned, they were happy to have her. for the first five years of her life, theo had everything, but that all changed on christmas eve of 2004.

╰     ‘  what they thought was an attempted robbery gone wrong left the kennedy family broken. as theo and her older brother hid in the closet and watched from the crack between the door and the frame, christina was shot 4 times repeatedly and left dead. — it would take one whole year for authorities to find out that her own husband was responsible for it.

╰     ‘  no, daniel kennedy didn’t pull the trigger. and no, he didn’t break into his own house but his past life of crime brought upon the tragedy. before meeting and setting down with christina, daniel had been involved in a sketchy lifestyle — drugs, alcohol, parties and crime. he bought, he dealt, he stole and he owed a lot of money. when he didn’t meet his deadline he was warned what would happen, and they had been true to their word. if he couldn’t offer them the money they would take something else, something money couldn’t buy. his wife, and the mother to his two children.

╰     ‘  that christmas was a dark one. there were no celebrations and the kids didn’t open their presents. the new year just brought dread and slowly the kennedy’s began to spiral. daniel began to fall back into his olf lifestyle of partying and crime as a coping mechanism. he became involved with the wrong people once more, people he called ‘old friends’ and more times than not his son jack, who was only eleven at the time, was left to care for his sister, theo.

╰     ‘  the death of a mother would be hard for anyone, but witnessing it had really ruined theodora. she stopped socializing, stopped speaking. her father still swears that she didn’t speak a single word for 3 years, and that may have been true. night terrors and flash backs took over her once pleasant dreams.

╰     ‘  after falling back into his prior way of life, mr. kennedy found himself unemployed. it was really no surprise, he would miss shifts at the auto body shop and when he did show up he was under the influence of something and incapable of doing much of anything and with no steady income, they lost their house. however, with every storm comes a rainbow and although they lost nearly everything they did get to move in with daniel’s parents, theo’s grandparents who she absolutely adored.

╰     ‘  grandma and grandpa kennedy weren’t your everyday grandparents. they didn’t knit blankets and play bingo, no, they owned the town funeral home, situated on a graveyard and lived atop of it. grandpa was a funeral director and grandma a mortician. while daniel had grown up in the funeral home, he wasn’t much phased and his new habits left him home rarely. jack hated it. he avoided the parlor at all costs and refused to tell his friends where it was he was living but theo had never felt more comfortable, surrounded by death.

╰     ‘  at only six, she began tagging along with her grandparents while they worked. she learned how to embalm bodies and prepare them for their final rest. of course her interest in the dead and the fact that she lived in a funeral home was a subject of ridicule in school. even in kindergarten she was picked on for it. she instantaneously became the ‘weird girl’. as she got older the bullying got worse, but it made her tough. she didn’t need friends, she had her interests to keep her busy and she liked to believe the dead were her friends. she’d often spend time in the morgue or out in the cemetery, making up lives in her head for the deceased and searching for answers.

╰     ‘  her interest in the occult began very early. she loved anything mysterious and dark. her first report in elementary school was on ed and lorraine warren, her biggest inspirations even back then and ever since she has longed to be the next lorraine. her intuition to the dead is strong and her sensitivity is high. she was told early on by a psychic friend of her grandparents that she had a gift and although they told her that she would one day be able to use it to help the living, she knew right away she wanted to use it to help the dead — the souls not at rest.

╰     ‘  by sixteen theo’s relationship with her father was nonexistent. he was absent most of her life, in and out of jail and always under the influence of drugs. and when he was around, he was abusive. she spent her whole life fearing him and while her brother jack strived to be everything their father was not, to make him proud, theo found herself slowly becoming everything her father was. she was skipping school to smoke in the cemetery and drinking alcohol from her fathers stash alone in her room. she tried to drown out her demons by self medicating. she found herself at house parties and in strangers beds regularly. she was her own worst nightmare. she was becoming the person her peers had made her out to be, a monster. she was mean and bitter and mad at the world, and so very young.

╰     ‘  at seventeen her world turned upside down one more time. a small town murder made the news and left the locals panicked. was there a serial killer on the loose? were they in danger? would the killer ever get caught? a witness met with the police and a sketch was made of the suspect and shared with the world via the local news — and theo knew instantly who it was. she had spent the last week hearing about the brutal murder of a young seventeen year old girl. she had been drugged, sexually assaulted and eventually choked to death. it was ugly and it was inhuman — and it was her father. she was sure of it. with shaky hands and the approval of her grandparents, she called the police and reported her father. after 3 months and a very long trial, he was sentenced to life in prison and for the first time in years, she could finally breathe.

╰     ‘  at eighteen, theodora applied for an internship with the ghost adventures team in vegas and by some miracle she was accepted. it only took six months for them to welcome her to the team full time, making her the youngest member of the crew. she found a family in her ghost adventures crew, looking up to zak bagans like the father figure she never had. her new job and new found family really helped pull her away from the dark path she was going down.

╰     ‘  she soon after moved to vegas, the glitz and glam and partying was dangerous and tempting but her work crew did their best to steer her in the right direction, it was there — in vegas that theo met sonny deluca.

╰     ‘  sonny showed up at theo’s door one morning with his mission partner, asking to talk to her about the book of mormon. one day later he showed back up alone. four days later he was leaving his mission and moving in. it happened quick and they fell fast. theo didn’t think she was capable of loving anyone, especially not in the way that she loves sonny. it only took four days for him to knock down her walls and expose her soft interior. 

╰     ‘  it did not take very long into their relationship to learn that they were expecting, not just one baby but twins. both scared and excited, they decided to keep the babies and make the impulsive decision to move. mapleview was their destination, the perfect place to raise a family. they got a house and prepared for the birth of their children.  

╰     ‘  still together, sonny and theo now have a set of twins, almost two year old son, river and daughter regan. they are the light of theo’s life and everyday she strives to be better for their sake. without her family, she would be in a very bad place. she’s positive of it.

[australiancarisi]

Secrets, Sonny Carisi ~ Part 5

You are the newest detective at SVU, things are great until things from your past come back to haunt you. Look at me starting a new story when I have a million stories to be written… oh well. Also, I know my stories are very dialogue-heavy, I’m working on it Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Also posted on ao3 Words: 2032

“Ra-Rafael... what are you doing here?” Liv stuttered. The squad hadn’t seen him since his trial, he looked the same besides the small beard he had grown. Silence fell over the precinct as you stared at him.

“Why... how...” you turned to Nick “you called him too?” You didn’t yell, you didn’t even look mad, you were just over it.

“You weren’t returning my calls, I was afraid you were hurt. I figured he’d know” Nick sighed “y/n-“

“- I can’t do this” you shook your head and quickly walked out of the squad room. You just had to get out of there, you couldn’t deal with them all staring at you.

“I’ll go” Rafael and Nick both said at the same time.

“No, I will. I think the two of you have done enough... whatever you’ve done” Sonny held his hands up stopping anyone from following you before slowly going after you. 

“Right now I’m really confused” Fin spoke breaking the silence. 

“You think your confused” Kat mumbled

“Can someone please explain?” Amanda asked looking between Nick and Rafael. “How the hell are you involved in all this?

“Y/n is my little sister” Rafael sighed

“Since when? I thought you were an only child?” Fin asked

“Since my mother birthed her” Rafael snapped before taking a breath to calm down. “She moved to LA when she was 19 and joined the academy”

“She’s a Diaz though” Amanda said

“She was born a Barba, she legally changed her name to our abuela’s when she was 15. When she found out the type of man our father was... She wanted me to change mine too but I told her it was stupid, it’s just a name. She didn’t see it that way” Rafael looked at Nick “thank you for calling”

“I don’t care what she says, I will always keep her safe, it’s my job” Nick nodded

“You do it better than me” he mumbled

“Why isn’t she safe?” Kat asked, asking the question that was on Amanda and Fin’s minds as well.

“She didn’t move to New York by choice, I sent her” Declan said making his presence known “needed to get her out of LA, send her home to New York and I saw there was an opening here at SVU, I knew she’d be safe here” Declan said

“You still haven’t answered the question, why isn’t she safe?” Amanda demanded. 

“She moved to LA with her boyfriend Tate...” Rafael began

You paced around the crib trying to calm down. You felt your anxiety levels rise more and more as you paced around the beds. You wanted to scream, but screaming in a police station is not the best idea. You scrunched your eyes as you heard the door open.

“Go away Rafael”

“It’s not Rafael” Sonny said quietly coming into the room and shutting the door. You turned to him. “Y/n what is going on? Why haven’t you said any-“ Sonny stopped as you ran to him and wrapped your arms around his chest. You held onto him tight “hey, hey doll it’s okay, don’t cry” you hadn’t even realised you were crying.

“I’m sorry”

“What are you sorry for?” Sonny said Into your hair

“For causing drama, for not telling you about Murphy or Nick... or Rafael” you sighed collecting yourself “for not telling you a lot of things”

“Its fine Doll, you’ll tell me when your ready”

“I don’t deserve you. I know everything about you. I know about your ex-girlfriends and about you jumping around as a detective and going to law school. I’ve met your parents, your sisters, nieces and nephews, your grandparents and your cousins and you haven’t even met my mum or knew that I had a brother let alone him being your old ADA-“

“None of that matters. You know what I know?” Sonny asked

“What?”

“I know that I love you. I know that you can’t sleep with pants on but have to have a blanket. I know that you would eat ice cream and pancakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner if it was socially acceptable. I know that you care so much about our victims and will go above and beyond to give them the justice they deserve. I know that you could sleep for 12 hours and still be tired” Sonny put his fingers under your chin and lifted it to make to look up at him. You looked into his baby blues. You could see in his eyes that he meant everything that he was saying “And most importantly I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up and go to bed with you as long as you’ll have me. I want to be the person you come to when you need someone. I want you on your best days and on your worst, I know enough”

“Even when I’m being annoying?” you whispered 

“Especially when your annoying” Sonny smiled before he kissed you. You felt all the tension in your body just melt away. “Better?” You nodded and kissed him again.

“Is he still out there?”

“I don’t think he’s gonna leave without seeing you... any of them” Sonny said “Doll... I know I said you’d tell me when your ready but... is something wrong? You’ve been acting strange for a while”

“I’m always strange”

“Stranger then usual then” Sonny smiled “I just wanna make sure you're safe”

“Come sit” you took his hand and sat down on one of the beds. It was time, it was finally time to come clean. You couldn’t handle this on your own anymore “So you know I moved from New York to LA when I was 19 and I joined the academy but what you don’t know is I moved with my boyfriend Tate... we met in school started dating when we were 16. Mami and Rafael hated him... I left them... I left my Abuelita to follow him. He was the one that wanted to move. He didn’t want me to become a cop but I knew I had to. I don’t know what Rafael told you about our dad... if he told you anything...”

“Not a lot just that he wasn’t a great guy” Sonny softly spoke. Your dad was a sore spot for you and Rafael so I didn’t surprise you that Rafael didn’t speak about him. 

“Not a great guy is putting it lightly” you chuckled bitterly “I idolised Rafi growing up, the age gap is bigger than most but it didn’t matter, Rafi never made me feel like the stupid little sister. I wanted to be just like him when I was little but I quickly realised I wasn’t smart enough to be a lawyer so here I am a cop instead”

“So it was your dad and Rafael that made you want to be a cop?”

“Yep” you nodded “Tate was so against it. Said that girls shouldn’t be cops, that I wouldn’t be strong enough to do it”

“Clearly he didn’t know you” you smiled sadly at him

“He didn’t come to my academy graduation. He was too busy... apparently sitting on the couch at home is really time-consuming”

“I’m not going to like where this is going am I?”

“Probably not... I got partnered with Nick straight out of the academy. He told about his time here and we bonded over how annoying Rafi can be” you giggled “he was unofficial big brother, taught me everything about being a good cop. Tate didn’t like that I was partnered with a man... I don’t know what he thought because he didn’t like women police officers. Tate couldn’t have cared when I made detective, he didn’t care about anything I did. Nick knew... Nick knew early on that the relationship was bad, he tried to tell me and I didn’t listen”

“Y/n-“

“Nick noticed the bruises, he tried to get me out... he tried to scare Tate but it didn’t work. And he was my emergency contact so every time I wound up at the hospital he’d get called”

“How often did you go to hospital?” Sonny asked, his hands played with yours in your lap.

“I lost count... the worst he did was dislocating my shoulder before Murphy got a restraining order put out for me. It took him 2 weeks to violate it... he found me at the grocery store, threw me around... he broke 3 ribs, dislocated my shoulder again, black eye, a bunch of bruises... you know” you shrugged. “I’d convinced Nick and Murphy not to arrest him but they weren’t going to let him get away this time”

“Good. They should have arrested him the moment he laid a hand on you. He doesn’t get to do that” Sonny was getting mad, you could see him trying to stay calm but it was hard.

“I begged them not to, he was my boyfriend. It didn’t matter that my mum, my brother, my abuela didn’t like him. I didn’t care about that because he was my first ever boyfriend my first love... my first everything”

“He didn’t... please tell me he didn’t-“

“No, no he never did anything sexually, it was just physical” Sonny breathed a sigh of relief “he got 2 years with parole in a year with good behaviour, which then got lowered to 10 months”

“2 years? Are you kidding me?”

“You know as well as I do that the justice system is not always fair... when I was healed Murphy told me he got me a transfer here. Nick had always told me how much he loved SVU so I was excited to come home. Murphy promised me that he didn’t tell anyone that he was getting me the job and that no one knew anything about what happened with Tate”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of Doll”

“I know... and I came here and everything was great, everything is great, amazing even until about a month... maybe a month and a half ago”

“What happened a month ago?”

“Tate made parole. I was notified, Nick and Murphy would have been too. I was asked to speak but I declined. They granted him parole and a week later he was gone... I was notified again and then the next thing I know I got it...”

“Got what?” Sonny frowned

“The first note... it was sent to the precinct. I knew straight away it was from Tate but I couldn’t prove it. There was no fingerprints, no DNA, no stamp not even any footage of anyone dropping it off”

“You said first... how many have you gotten?”

“I don’t know a dozen?”

“And they’ve all come to the station? Just notes?”

“Well... actually I’ve gotten some at home and some photos...”

“Y/n! Are you kidding me?! He knows where you live?! And you didn’t tell anyone?! He could have seriously hurt you! What were you thinking?!” Sonny’s outburst made you jump slightly. He stood up from the bed and started pacing.

“I didn’t want to believe it! I thought I could handle by myself its not like he’s a criminal mastermind, everyone is so busy... I didn’t want everyone fussing!” 

“Clearly you can’t handle this” Sonny fired at you. You stared at the floor, not knowing what to say. You knew deep down he was right, you just didn’t want to believe it “You should have come to me” his voice was softer, quieter.

“I know and I’m sorry. This effects you too” Sonny took your hands and made you stand up. He wrapped his arms around you again. 

“Did you at least keep everything?”

“Of course, it’s in the bottom drawer of my desk”

“You know you have to tell them right?” Sonny sighed

“They are gonna be mad”

“I’ll be there to protect you”

“Promise?”

“Promise” he nodded, you held up your pinky

“Pinky swear?” Sonny chuckled and linked his finger around yours

“Pinky swear” he kissed your hand “Come on Doll, let's go talk to everyone, let's find this son of a bitch” 

[an-american-teen-against-crime]

Hi! So I’m conducting kind of a survey/study? Can you rank the games in order from best to worst in your eyes? A simple list will suffice

AHH sorry this took me so long to finally do haha but I finally got it done! (this was. extremely difficult . I struggle) (also sorry some of my notes got kinda long so you can just skip ‘em if you wanna)

1. TRN- it has to be. My list has changed so much over the years and SPY was actually here once, but I’ve realized that this is the one that has stuck at the top throughout the years. It’s just SO. GOOD. from the music, plot, characters, hardy boys, setting, mystery, AUGH it’s amazing

2. SHA- I know this one is quite controversial in the fandom (chores.) but this had always been one of the top for me. It reminds me of my childhood (rip) and I just adore every single setting in this game- the atmosphere is wonderful. I just really adore the plot as well as the Dirk and Francis storyline, as well as the old west feeling (still not over the cliff dwellings or Dry Creek). THIS GAME MAKES ME V HAPPY

3. MHM- this was tough, but this was not only my first game but also it still holds up for me. It’s super old but I just adore the setting and gameplay, the spooks are top shelf and I just adore the feeling of this game from it’s puzzles and storyline. 

4. GTH- I have for sure played this game way too often, but I love it. The vibes in this game are TOP NOTCH, and I will never forget my first playthrough of this game. The story, the charACTERS, setting, music, is all so good. The puzzles tho are a bit of a draw back but I still love this game. 

5. SPY- I felt weird about have two “newer” games in my top five, but I genuinely love this game. It’s moved down since I’ve realized I kinda dislike the puzzles, but the spy aesthetic and the story of Nancy’s mom PLUS the Revenant/Colony Operation is SO INTERESTING to me. Not to mention this game has a unique story structure in the fact that Nancy solving the mystery is actually helping the bad guys which is really unique. I feel like this game also characterizes Nancy really well which I adore. 

6. CUR- So I actually thought this would be much lower on my list because I played this when I was much older than the other ones, so it has less nostalgia for me, but it still has some. (plus a lot of the game was spoiled for me before I played it because I watched a walkthrough of it. Dumb middle school Cambria WHY DID YOU DO THAT) The plot structure and just...the puzzles and how the whole game fits together is so amazing and the music/atmosphere/aesthetic is just SO AWESOME. Genuinely a spooky game and I adore it for that.

7. FIN- I adore this game, the plot, the timer/three days, the characters, setting, everything is awesome. I feel it’s pretty unique to the series which makes it even more special and its just SO GOOD. Plus it has Nick Falcone who is one of the best characters of all time. 

8. DDI- the atmosphere, THE MYSTERY, the whole setting it’s all just. wonderful. I love BEING in this game, and I feel like it’s one of those mysteries that really represents the series as a whole. 

9. TRT- Just like DDI I feel like this game really is a really good representation of these games as a series. It has everything that makes a good Nancy Drew game and it’s atmosphere is wonderful. I also love the history and while it’s way more treasure hunt like than mystery it does have good mystery elements and it’s a very cozy game.

10. SSH- I am shocked this game is so high, and I actually didn’t like it that much on my first playthrough. This is a game that gets better the more you play it because you uncover so much more- I love the museum and all the history, the social commentary, and the mystery IS SO INTERESTING. Like everything with Henrik trying to stop Sinclair and like you know there’s someone bad out there doing this stuff but you’re not sure who, and there’s all this information you uncover AHH. I know some don’t like the phone convos but I feel like tracking down all the different pieces opens up Nancy’s world so much and it makes it feel real. Also just the idea that you have to track them all down is so cool to me. Also the ending is freaky and gives me anxiety to this day.

11. SEA- this game makes me so happy, I adore Iceland, the setting, the story, the ship, the characters, ALL FABULOUS! Some of the puzzles are annoying but that’s a trend for the later games.

12. STFD- it shouldn’t be so high on the list probably but the mystery and plot line is always really fun for me. The whole premise, locations and iconic moments in this game are so special to me. I love just being in the game, it’s so simplistic. Plus, Dwayne Powers.

 13. WAC- this is the game I always fall back on to play. It’s further down simply because the puzzles are a little annoying at times, but the setting is great and I adore the school feeling of this game. It just always has been a game that has stuck out in my mind ever since it came out.

14. CLK- clk is so nostalgic for me, I literally don’t care about the time travel bit because it reminds me so much of reading the books. I love the town, the mystery, and it’s one of those games I can just relax in. You can spend hourS in this game and seriously do nothing but fish, deliver telegrams and play golf. Maybe a game of bard bounce in there too. 

15. SAW- I used to feel medium about this game, but as of my most recent replay, I’ve found I LOVE it. The setting is so freaky and I actually enjoy most of the puzzles. It just has this weird off feeling to it where you’re constantly being told everything is fine when everything is definitely not fine. I honestly wanna make a separate post just for this game, I have so many feelings on it haha.

16. DED- I love the feeling of this game, from it’s Tesla theme, to it’s puzzles, and also it’s a murder mystery which is super interesting. The mystery and gameplay is so fun for me, honestly not sure why.

17. CRY- I love this game’s atmosphere so so much, and a lot of the puzzles are really fun. The whole legend of the skull is fascinating and it has a great spooky vibe to it. However I feel like the plot is a bit weak and I am still salty Nancy doesn’t help Henry more. But also it has Henry Bolet.

18. TMB- I love Egyptology, I love archaeology, and this game is super fun to me for those reasons. the whole idea of the curse is spoopy and the puzzles are pretty cool too. I love both Dylan and Jamilla so that bumps this game up as well. 

19. VEN- I have wanted to go to Venice ever since I played this game, I feel it does a perfect job of making you feel like you’re really there. I love the whole spy aspects, and while some of the puzzles are EXTREMELY annoying it’s a really exciting game.

20. DOG- The vibe of this game is off the charts, I love the history and the mystery is kinda weird but leads you to a treasure hunt which is pretty interesting. I love the puzzles in this game and while the characters are kinda annoying I feel like this game is just so grounded and interesting. 

21. CAP- some stuff in this game is kinda dumb (PUZZLES. WHO PUT THEM THERE I NEED TO KNOW)  but the whole fairytale vibe is great, and I love the fact that Nancy is trying to track down a cryptid. I also kind of hate the culprit motivation, but it is what it is.

22. ICE- this is actually a pretty well put together game, I like the location, and the mystery is nice. It’s one of those that I really question the whole idea of why Nancy is solving the puzzles? Like I get it that she’s trying to get into the needle it’s just...sorta convoluted. Also some of the puzzles are really annoying in this game haha.

23. LIE- pains me to put this game so low on the list, but I freaking hate the puzzles in this game. I like the museum puzzles, and that’s IT. The set has no. reason. to have that weird of puzzles. This is one of those games that would have been better with the treatment of having more practical puzzles like the older games. Anyways, I still love the setting, the characters, and the fact that it’s in Greece, in a museum and has a play about a greek myth makes me really enjoy this game. Plus, I do like the whole villain plot and the ending you start feeling really trapped and freaked out which is exciting. 

24. ASH- I get why people love this game, I really do, but for some reason I always drag my feet to play it. It still is super interesting though from the mystery, characters, bad guy plan, and it has a good classic mystery vibe. I think I just have to be in the right mood to play it.

25. TOT- I actually do enjoy playing this game but the puzzles/chores can be really annoying, and I feel there needs to be more mystery. However I actually do enjoy the setting a lot and there’s something special about it to me. Plus I like to look at the clouds. :3

26. DAN- I like that it reminds me of Paris because it got that vibe, the history and locations are very cool, and I really enjoy being in the game. However the mystery is ditched for Nancy trying to solve the Noisette stuff which is annoying and weird and I feel like this game is a bit unfocused which bugs me. Plus I can’t remember a single puzzle right now other than that horrible wall clock puzzle.

27. MED- Yes, this game is a hot mess and I’m still upset about Sonny, but I actually really enjoy the location and puzzles of this game, it’s just really fun to be in. Also the reality tv show concept is fun. Wish the sheep were alive though.

28. HAU- I like a lot about this game but at the same time it feels very...small? Idk. I just feel like the whole game is Nancy running around on the moors solving random puzzles she just finds in the hopes of finding Matt. It’s weird. I do like the vibe tho and Fiona is a bit freaky. Plus, sheep.

29. CAR- peoplearegoingtomurdermeIwillbethenextjake listen I for some reason feel just meh about this game, idk if it’s just Joy, the location, or WHAT but for some reason it’s mostly meh for me. There’s bits that are fun and I always liked it when I was younger but for some reason it doesn’t do it for me. But I can get why people really like it! 

30. SCK: The vibes are great, the ending is v exciting, and I feel like the school is very creepy and the diner is a solid location. The whole mystery of how Jake was blackmailing everyone and the drug plotline is super interesting to me and while the disk switching drives me NUTS I really like pulling this one out just to feel like I’m in the 90s.

31. CRE- I think this game is fun and has some iconic bits to it, along with the fact I could spend hours at Big Island Mike’s Immersion Excursions, buT the fact is the mystery is freaking weird and I don’t like bugs. But we did get Big Island Mike. 

32. MID- Listen, this game is a good video game, but it’s a bad Nancy Drew game. I liked my first playthrough of this game, I really did, but theres just so many problems with it and it’s so upsetting to see what’s become of the series. You can tell that it wasn’t made by the same people and it doesn’t have the classic ND charm. There are a lot of plotholes and random stuff like the Hardy’s personalities in this game don’t make sense. However there are a lot of stuff that it enjoyable about this game and I will still replay it. It’s just kinda sad.

33. SCK Remastered: Lower than the OG because Beech is dumb and they changed the ending. Also some of the old magic is gone, and all the characters are way less likeable. However it did explain some stuff about Jake so there is that. 

34. RAN- It’s still fun at times and I like the location but the puzzles will be a thorn in my side till the day I die. Also the mystery is just meh. And it needed more characters, that’s just a fact. 

I guarantee that this will probably change by the time we are done with this playthrough, but until then this is my listing. I think it’s really a testament to the games though that there is no game I consider unplayable. SCK could be that game but I am willing to do the disk switching lol.

[nancydrew428]

Hi!! So I’m conducting kind of a survey/study? Can you rank the games in order from best to worst in your eyes? A simple list will suffice. Include MID, and both SCKs please. But exclude dossiers ;)

Hi! Sorry for the late response! I’ve been doing finals and my last assignments of the semester haha. But I eventually finished this!

Also, don’t hate me (I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this except for on my bingo card, subtle plug), but I haven’t played 10 of the games, and of the ones that I have played, I still haven’t finished 3 of them🙊😂 So I might not be the most helpful, especially if you need exact rankings or answers from someone who knows everything about each game. I’m sorry! But hopefully my answer will still help you. If not, I’m hoping it’ll be interesting!

1. Curse of Blackmoor Manor

This one has definitely been my favorite game! It took me 8 years to finally finish it, but I’m so glad I did. I love the atmosphere, especially the creepy vibes (and I do like the English moor aesthetic, haha). The game used to scare me so bad, but now it’s just cute, and a little spooky. The only thing I don’t like is the moving rooms. All the other puzzles were good. But that one made me dizzy and confused, lol.

2. The Secret of Shadow Ranch

Dave Gregory. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Lmao. ...Seriously, though, I love being out on the ranch in real life and I love how that translated in the game. I love horses and cowboys. The love story with Frances and Dirk… My heart. I also loved the book. And I liked the glyphs. And the chocolate Shadow Ranch cake is to die for (it’s my go-to chocolate cake recipe!⁠—although I will never do walnuts).

3. Danger on Deception Island

This was the first game I played, so obviously it had to be high up on my list. Again, I love the atmosphere (that’s probably my biggest factor when ranking these games, and with playing games in general). It really reminds me of a place along the California coast that I visit during the summer. And I don’t think there would have been a better game to introduce 8 year old me into the world of ND video games.

4. Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake

This one used to scare me. Every night I would be afraid for the dogs to jump on the house and windows. Every time I would be in the woods looking for bugs I was terrified that something would happen. Also, Yogi! And I remember actually enjoying the puzzles and the hunt for bugs. Also, the speakeasy was so cool!

5. Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon

The Hardy Boys!! I saw someone say this is like an off-brand Murder on the Orient Express, and it was so funny to me, and I wanted to share it with you. But I love the train idea, the Hardy Boys, cooking, the potential “ghosts,” the hunt, and the dialogue.

6. Secret of the Old Clock

I loved this book. It’s the first Nancy Drew book (definitely a classic), and I love how they set the game in the ‘30s. It was completely different in that aspect than any of the other games. Although the driving wasn’t the most fun, I lovedthe pies, going through the secret passages, playing mini-golf, and the ugly yet cute cat that I don’t remember the name of.

7. Shadow at the Water’s Edge

I don’t know how accurate this is in the portrayal of Japanese culture. I hope that it’s pretty accurate and that it isn’t racist, but I’m not sure. But I remember playing this game when I was 11 and being absolutely terrified. The bento boxes were very cute, but I remember getting frustrated with it. The jumpscare is arguably the best part of the game and the scariest scene in any Nancy Drew game.

8. Sea of Darkness

This one is honestly this high up specifically for the graphics. Overall, it is a good game. I liked the puzzles, the setting, characters, dialogue, etc. But the graphics stole the show. It is the best Nancy Drew game with graphics, plus the scenery is pretty (even if it wasn’t as quality). I love the snow and the chilly atmosphere, and I definitely feel like it’s a winter game.

9. Treasure in the Royal Tower

I liked this game. I loved (you guessed it!) the atmosphere. I loved being snowed in, and I loved Hotchkiss. I don’t remember much of this game, and one might argue that that means that it should be lower on the list, but I remember really enjoying it, so I’m keeping it in this spot.

10. Legend of the Crystal Skull

I love the atmosphere, New Orleans, and Henry so much. This isn’t my favorite game, but it is so good!

11. Danger by Design

I like this one, with the Sonny Joon references. I also like Paris, and I think this is a fun game. But I always get it confused with The Phantom of Venice, which is why Phantom is listed right below this one. Which one has JJ and the cookies? I couldn’t tell you.

12. The Phantom of Venice

Like I said, I always get this one confused with Danger by Design. I couldn’t tell you what happens in each. Except this one has you dance in a catsuit and play SCOPA, but I don’t remember necessarily caring for either of these.

13. The Captive Curse

I like this one. I like Germany, the monster, the scary beginning, Renate falling asleep. But I feel like it could have been scarier. (If it was, let me know! I gotta replay it in that case.)

14. Alibi in Ashes

I love Alexei, the ice cream/milkshakes, and getting to play other characters than just Nancy. But other than that, it’s not my favorite game.

15. The White Wolf of Icicle Creek

I’ve only played the Wii version of this game, so I’m not sure how different it is from the PC version. + I never finished it. I loved the kitchen and cooking, and the wolf is super cute! But I didn’t like the ice thing. I could never get past it. Is it any easier on the PC?

16. The Haunting of Castle Malloy

I’m Irish and I think it’s cool that the game is in Ireland. I actually like the character design, but it feels a little bit….ridiculous to me? And the banshee? I don’t know. But I love the atmosphere, and from what I remember, I liked the characters.

17. The Creature of Kapu Cave

I remember liking the game, and I love anything with the ocean or lakes or swimming or diving. Like, the water is where I belong, and I think it’s so fun. But the character design is awful. Frank and Joe don’t look the way they’re supposed to, and I can’t get over it.

18. The Deadly Device

It’s a good game, but I’ve never finished it. It’s difficult in some parts and boring in others. But I love the Tesla idea, Mason’s sarcasm, and Ryan (I just love Ryan). But it’s never really pulled me in. (I think part of it might be because it’s the only game, other than SSH that I’ve tried playing without using any walkthroughs, so I’m having a tough time, lol.)

19. Warnings at Waverly Academy

I know that this is a fan favorite, but it isn’t my favorite. I like all of the Nancy Drew games that I’ve played for the most part, and it is a good game. But I’m tired of school, and I play video games to escape it. Plus, other than Mel, I don’t like any of the characters. That might be the point, but in a game where you have only a handful of characters, I don’t like only having one of them be likeable.

20. Message in a Haunted Mansion

I don’t remember much of this game. But I love anything even slightly spooky, and I remember thinking this game was cute.

21. Secret of the Scarlet Hand

I’m playing this game right now (not as I type this, but I’ve played it on and off for the past few months), and it’s pretty good. I like learning about Mayan culture, but it isn’t that special of a game. Nothing really stands out to me, and none of the characters are all that likeable imo.

22. Secrets Can Kill Remastered

Again, I don’t remember much from this game. It didn’t stick out to me much, and I enjoy games with a good atmosphere and a somewhat lasting impression. This game isn’t bad; I don’t think any of the ND games I’ve played have been bad tbh. But I don’t care about high school, and I want something else to remember. But I give Her Interactive kudos for making a game for girls about murder (especially because it was technically their first game, and this was just a remake). And that sounds sarcastic, but it actually isn’t! Lol.

23. The Haunted Carousel

This wasn’t a bad game. I just don’t really have an interest in carnivals and that sorta thing. They’re okay, but they don’t intrigue me that much. And I don’t remember much from this game. I played it around the same time that I played most of these games, and it didn’t stick out to me. However, I do love the cover and the fact that not every character is white.

24. Ransom of the Seven Ships

I know this game gets a bad rep, but I don’t think it’s a terrible game. But the black face is just too racist and makes me too uncomfortable to enjoy it as much as it could be enjoyed. If HeR toned down the racism a little bit, I could have actually enjoyed this game (except for George’s character design; they did my girl dirty, but what’s new?).

[steppenshe-wolf]

Seti?

do I like them: Seti has some traits in common with my least favorite “Game of Thrones” character, Tywin Lannister, and I hate those traits. I don’t consider ambition and pragmatism are as positive and admirable qualities as, say, compassion and progressive thinking. I really dislike Rameses’ opinion abour Seti and disagree with it at all. However, Seti isn’t particularly hateable for a villain. He represents some traits I hate but so do the most of animated villains( for example, Tzekel-kan represents unappreciaton of kindness and cynicism and misanthropy - all in my TOP-5 worst human traits). If anything, Seti is actually better than most of animated villains. I dislike his power-hungry and ruthless side but it’s the not only side he has. Seti is very much of my problematic fave.

5 good qualities: I can easily name two or three but five is quite difficult( since we consider only canon) but I’ll try:- loving, fatherly, not completely private. I really admire openhearted, generous, parental, child-loving people. Of course I don’t want to say Seti is one of these people( he ORDERED INFANTICIDE, after all) but his interactions with Moses suggest some tendencies like this. Sure, Seti isn’t consistently portrayed like this but it’s still my favorite aspect of Seti.- can be humble( to an extent because he is bigot). He didn’t only love Moses, he  isn’t too arrogant to consider Moses’ opinion, despite being a father and much older and more experienced person. It’s my second favorite thing about thing about him.- self-critical. Blames not only his sons but also himself for destruction of the temple(“Have I taught you nothing?”). I think he is somewhat better at recognizing his faults than Rameses.- flexible. Related to two previous points. More flexible than Rameses I guess.- strict, capable of tough love. I like that he believes his son should have obligations, although I disagree with him on what those obligation should be. I like that he views his sons critically, although not for reasons I would( for example, I don’t find Moses and Rameses’ carefree attitude their biggest problem, their biggest problem is their arrogant and cruel treatment of inferiors). I wish he used these traits differently.

3 bad qualities:- unappreciative of kindness. This is my biggest problem with both Seti and Rameses. I dislike their idea of good ruler because it doesn’t include being kind. Like I already said, Seti is bothered by his sons’ laziness and carefree attitude but isn’t bothered by their arrogance, callousness and classism( e.g. unlike his wife, he didn’t seem to have problem with what his sons did to Tzipporah). This prevents me from considering him a good parent because I am convinced the good parents are those who teach the importance of kindness to their children. This also prevents me from considering him a decent ruler.- uncompassionate. Not totally but still. This is related to the previous point but this one is more about his natural inclincation, while previous one is more about not wishing or trying to become more compassionate.- undiplomatic, overly blunt. I can definetely imagine him using “snowflake” as insult.

favourite episode/etc: when he hugs Moses and calls him “my son”. In Russian dub he uses even more affectionate form of address, “my sonny”. Any scene with Seti is great, though, he is suprisingly impressive for a such minor character. He doesn’t need a musical number to be awesome.

otp: the canon one, with Tuya. Which is odd enough since I usually dislike pairings that heteronormative. But I do love Seti/Tuya.

brotp: I imagine his sons being his closest friends. I don’t imagine Seti being very close with anyone outside of his family. Seti is a person who is so focused on both his position and family, he doesn’t care much about the rest. He prefers spending his free time his wife and sons. My headcanon is that Tuya’s brother is very extraverted and was the one to initiate friendship. However, their interest isn’t even and Seti prefers the company of his sons.

ot3: n/a. I can’t imagine him being involved in something like this at all.

notp: with anyone who isn’t Tuya.

best quote: “Maybe, maybe so. Go now, I shall see you both tonight.”

head canon: Seti is quite good at some kind of sports and personally trained both of his sons a lot. Particularly, he taught them how to swim and in Modern AU he helped them with water sports( which Tuya is a bit afraid of ). 

[am-i-right-counselor]

You Make My Dreams Come True

Title: You Make My Dreams Come True Pairing: Sonny Carisi/Reader Rating: G for fluff Summary: You ideally wouldn’t make a fuss out of your birthday, but your friend Sonny Carisi doesn’t let you… Notes: This is a super overdue birthday fic for @carisiismyhomeboy! I’m so sorry it’s over a year late! Hope you like it!

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It was an unseasonably warm day in New York, but it was still the coldest birthday you’d ever experienced. This was your first birthday away from home, and you were feeling a little homesick. Moving to the city was a dream come true, especially for being from a small town in the South. It was the best move for your career, and your life, but if you were being honest, you missed your friends and family at home.

That didn’t mean that you hadn’t made any friends since you moved to the city–you’d actually made some good ones. You just didn’t feel like celebrating. Big celebrations were never your thing. Besides, work was keeping you busy, and you didn’t want to make a big fuss anyway. The text tone on your phone snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Hey doll, I’ll be at your building in 5 minutes!”

The only thing you had planned today was the only thing you had planned every week–your coffee date with Detective Sonny Carisi. He was one of the few close friends you’d made here. You had met through work when you were called to testify as an expert witness in an assault case. Sonny was a detective with Manhattan’s Special Victims Unit, and was also testifying in the case. You were a little nervous, and he was able to calm you down, and if he was able to do that, he was definitely worth getting to know. It didn’t take long for you to realise you weren’t wrong, and that made you happy. Honestly, it’s a wonder that you weren’t in love with the man. That’s why you didn’t mind that your coffee date fell on your birthday.

You grabbed your coat and purse and made your way downstairs to find Sonny standing there with two coffees from your favourite spot.

“I thought the point was to get coffee together, Sonny,” you said, taking your cup from his outstretched hand. He smiled sheepishly at you.

“Well, I thought it was worth more than just getting coffee on your birthday, doll.”

“How… how did you know it was my birthday?”

You were sure you’d never told him when your birthday was. How the hell did he know? Sonny was practically beaming.

“I’m a detective, doll. I’d be a pretty shitty one if I couldn’t figure that one out.”

Duh. Celebrating with Sonny wouldn’t be the worst way to spend your birthday.

“So detective, what do you think is worth doing on my birthday?”

“I was thinking of going on a little adventure, if you’re up for it?”

You smiled and nodded. He was so sweet.

“Lead the way!”

***

Three trains into Brooklyn later, you finally emerged from the subway. Sonny wouldn’t let his plans slip, no matter how many times you had asked on the ride. You finally decided to let it go and let him surprise you. As much as you didn’t want to make a fuss over your birthday, you were touched that he had put in any effort at all. After a few blocks, Sonny stopped in front of a bookstore.

“Stop number one,” Sonny opened the door for you. “A little culture to start the day.”

You couldn’t help but smile as you rolled your eyes and your smile only grew bigger as you entered; the store was wall-to-wall covered in books. It was easy to get lost in a store like this for hours, and you could definitely see yourself doing just that. Apparently Sonny could see that as well.

“You mentioned needing a new book to read…” He earnestly looked at you for approval. “I did well, right?” You lightly smacked his arm.

“Oh, you did very well.” Your smile grew. “Very well indeed.”

Sonny’s body seemed to relax. You don’t remember when he tensed up, but he was more relaxed now. He looked adorable when he was worried; you hadn’t noticed that before.

Thought you could have spent the whole day in this store, you really wanted to see what else Sonny had planned. After you found a book you had wanted to get, you went to the counter to pay. The cashier held his hand up.

“It’s already been taken care of, Miss.” He smiled at you. You spun around and faced Sonny.

“Was this you?!” You were genuinely surprised. He nodded, with that goofy Carisi smile.

“You betcha, doll. And it won’t be the first time today either, so get used to it!”

Usually, you would never just let someone pay for you, but something you couldn’t quite put your finger on was telling you to just go with it. Besides, your curiosity for the rest of the day was getting the better of you. You sighed.

“Fine, Sonny… “ The two of you exited the store. “But only for today! Don’t get used to me letting you do this on any other day!”

He nodded.

“Deal.”

***

Thankfully, the next few stops weren’t too far away, though you couldn’t be trusted to say how far away. Conversations with Sonny were always great, but you had no idea how closely he had paid attention. You were having too much fun hanging out with Sonny, that it could have been minutes or hours between stops.

So far after the bookstore, you had been to a bar that only served sausages and beer for lunch, wandered in and out of different shops in Williamsburg; whatever caught your eye. Sonny had really curated this day just for you, and you were impressed. You were still a little shocked, but you shoved that down and decided to deal with that later.

Some time in the late afternoon, Sonny took you to the most breathtaking view of Manhattan you had ever seen. You could see all the lights and glitter of the city, with the calming waves of the East River in between you, and the Williamsburg bridge to the left. It reminded you why you moved to New York in the first place. You rested your arms on the rails and sighed.

“This is possibly the most beautiful view of the city I’ve ever seen,” you smiled at him. “Thank you, truly.”

Sonny flashed you that classic Carisi smile and leaned down beside you, staring out at the city.

“It’s my favourite view, how could I not share it with my favourite…”

Suddenly, Sonny turned the other way. What was he going to say? You straightened up a little and turned toward him, nudging him in the ribs slightly.

“‘Favourite’ what, Sonny Carisi?”

He let out a shaky laugh, running his hand through his perfectly coiffed hair. “Just that… you’re my favourite.”

He couldn’t make eye contact with you. You were Sonny Carisi’s favourite. You knew he was one of your favourites, but you were his?

“What do you mean, your favourite?” You stared at him quizzically. You thought it wasn’t possible for the man to blush even more, but his cheeks turned a shade of red you usually reserved for your lips. He started pacing around a little bit.

“It means… look, I didn’t want to say this on your birthday… but, I’d like us to be more than friends, doll…” He looked down slightly at his feet. It was your turn to to turn red. You hadn’t thought about being with Sonny before, but now those thoughts were flooding your head. Thoughts of the two of you being two parts of one whole, having a whole life together. Marriage, kids, everything. You must have zoned out, because when you looked up, Sonny was staring at you expectantly. “If it’s a no, I totally understand. I kinda sprung this on ya…”

You just shook your head softly.

“I think I’d like that too, Sonny. I really think I would.”

Sonny’s face lit up, brighter than a thousand suns. He walked toward you and closed the gap between the two of you.

“Really, doll?” His piercing blue eyes were fixed onto yours. His scent of sweat and bergamot was so intense and intoxicating. You smiled at him.

“Yes, Sonny. Really.” Sonny leaned in and kissed you softly. You started giggling. You felt his smile before you saw it.

“What’s so funny?” He crossed his arms; smile never leaving his face.

“You know this doesn’t count as our first date, right?” He laughed and shook his head.

“Oh man, I dunno how the hell I’m supposed to top this one, but I’m up for the challenge!”