#songs that remind me of connor

[neilphen]

happy birthday nez :)

[titsthedamnseason]

hear me out but

anti-hero is a lily calloway song

you’re on your own kid is a daisy song

karma is a rose song

[glass-noodle]

have you ever listened to Bathtub Mermaid by mili

I have not!

I really like this!! Very haunting and melancholic. I’m a sucker for borderline obsessive/destructive love, so this is right up my alley. Also choosing to read this as unrequited love because I love pain. I now have the urge to draw mer!Connor in J-pop indie album cover style wasting away in a bathtub surrounded by his own scales, so thank you for that.

Thank you for the song rec!!! I’m always desperately on the look out for more songs to add to my dbh playlists (*cough* particularly hankcon and character study songs *cough*) so this was great 😩💙💙

[nevermoredragon-main]

It's not my fault anymore//No more curfews to be late for//It's not my fault anymore//No more being worried and waiting by the door

[snoozaga]

bury the light is really cool, such a shame everything about dmc5 has been turned into a stupid meme

[tearsstained]

Tell me that you love me again - Luke Castellan Headcanons

Headcanons of how Luke Castellan fell in love with the ridiculed Hades kid based on the song 'Again' by Noah Cyrus

POC friendly, plus size friendly, gender neutral, Hades!Reader, can either be read as Disney Luke or book Luke.

Content warnings: Not proof read, angst, Stoll brothers, alcohol (mentioned), Lukes betrayal, Reader going on a quest, the master bolt quest, strangers to friends to dating, virginity lose (mentioned), sex (mentioned), death/sacrifice, war (mentioned), Kronos (mentioned), spoilers for the Last Olympians, Lukes death, Percy Jackson (mentioned), song lyrics used, songfic.

Navigation | Masterlist | L.C Masterlist

"You just made the worst mistake."

"And you'll regret it, darling."

Luke! Who was known as the camp's golden boy and admired by everyone for his charm and talent.

Luke! Who never really had any romantic interests and no experience with love.

Luke! Who despite having girls flocking to him daily, never dated because he never found anyone intriguing enough to think about.

Luke! Who had only heard of you through other campers and never really paid a thought to you until he saw you.

Luke! Who met you randomly on a Thursday afternoon when you were chilling out with the Stoll brothers.

Luke! Who was captivated by your beauty when he first saw you and mistaked you for an Aphrodite kid.

Luke! Who discovered that Travis and Connor are your only friends.

Luke! Who made the worst mistake by asking the Stoll's about you.

Luke! Who then got bombarded with questions and poking assumptions by T&C.

Luke! Who eventually admitted to being interested in getting to know you and got absolutely blackmailed by it.

"Cause once you give and then you take."

"You'll only end up wanting."

Luke! Who made a deal with the brothers that if they introduce him to you, he'll let them bring proper alcohol into camp for bonfire nights.

Luke! Who was unrealistically determined to know you.

Luke! Who became obsessed with the thought of you despite barely knowing you.

Luke! Who finally met you at a bonfire night after being taunted by your presence in the Hermes cabin.

Luke! Who never got enough time to talk to you.

Luke! Who felt teased by your short meeting and only wanted more.

Luke! Who searched for you all around camp the next day but never found you once.

Luke! Who continued searching for you throughout the next several weeks just to only see you at the mess hall where you couldn't talk.

Luke! Who begged the Stoll brothers to tell him your schedule or where you hang out at.

Luke! Who only got a "deal's over, can't tell." in response.

"Was everything hard enough?"

"Cause one day you'll wake up."

"And then you'll say."

Luke! Who found you on your own at the docks before asking if he could join you.

Luke! Who internally freaked out when you accepted but played it off.

Luke! Who got to know you more and became friends on that dock.

Luke! Who genuinely laughed at every dark joke you said that would scare most people.

Luke! Who kept meeting up with you whenever you were both free at the dock, claiming it was 'our spot' now.

Luke! Who offered to teach you how to swim and help improve your sword fighting skills.

Luke! Who started joining in on your little hangouts with Travis and Connor in the Hermes cabin.

Luke! Who started meeting up with you in the Hades cabin and began having sleepovers together secretly.

Luke! Who slowly but surely became one of your best friends.

Luke! Who became too attached to you.

“I wanna be your lover."

"I don't wanna be your friend.”

Luke! Who had a painfully noticeable crush on you but somehow you didn't see it.

Luke! Who started hanging out with you a lot more and built a much stronger connection with you then Travis and Connor had.

Luke! Who got jealous when you were with T&C but tried to remind himself that you aren't together and can hangout with whoever.

Luke! Who defended your name when other campers were talking about how weird you were and how they believed you were the lighting thief - when in reality it was him.

Luke! Who heard from the Stolls' that you liked him but thought he didn't like you back.

Luke! Who then arranged a sleepover in your cabin and asked you out that night.

"You don't know what you got 'til it's gone, my dear."

"So tell me that you love me again."

Luke! Who cherished every moment with you because he knew he'd have to go soon.

Luke! Who wanted to hide you away from the upcoming war none of the campers knew of but couldn't.

Luke! Who kept acting normal, even when Percy Jackson arrived.

Luke! Who showed Percy around and built a big brother relationship with him.

Luke! Who was the first to bow when Percy was claimed as Poseidon's son.

Luke! Who heard from Percy that you were also forced to go on the quest to retrieve the Masters Bolt (that he stole) due to being a child of Hades.

Luke! Who has never been so disappointed of not being chosen to go on a quest before until now.

Luke! Who begged Chiron to go as well to protect you from the set up danger he knew of but was continuously denied.

Luke! Who told you he loved you for the first time before you left.

"Baby, I'll hold my breath."

"You don't know what you got 'til it's gone, my dear."

"So tell me that you love me again."

Luke! Who dreamed of you every night and prayed you were okay every day.

Luke! Who realized how deeply in love he was with you and wanted to recruit you to Kronos army so you could be together without worrying.

Luke! Who could only hope you would return to camp unharmed.

Luke! Who was ecstatic when the four of you came back mostly unharmed but also realized his cover would be blown soon.

Luke! Who harboured your last night together before he was revealed.

"Again, babe, again."

"Again, babe, again."

"You don't know what you got 'til it's gone, my dear."

"So tell me that you love me again."

Luke! Who couldn't stop repeating the three words he only told you once before

Luke! Who seemed oddly clingy but you brushed it off as making up for missed time.

Luke! Who was almost in tears several times while kissing all over your body and repeating those three words to you.

Luke! Who took your virginity that night since he knew he might never see you again.

Luke! Who worshipped you all night and was so gentle with you.

Luke! Who broke your heart the next day.

"Ooh, she's screaming in my head."

"Ooh, I left her where I slept."

"Somewhere, I can't escape from, I'm running from myself."

"Somewhere in between in love and broken, I'm in hell."

Luke! Who felt horrible for betraying you like this but wanted to get revenge on the gods.

Luke! Who offered to protect you if you joined him, only to end up getting denied and screamed at.

Luke! Who couldn't turn back now that he outted himself, so he went through the portal alone.

Luke! Who was haunted by your face every night and day.

Luke! Who never stopped loving you, even if you were on different sides.

"Saying I wanna be your lover, I don't wanna be your friend."

"You don't know what you got 'til it's gone my dear."

"So tell me that you love me again."

Luke! Who replayed every memory of you together in his head during the days now that he's away from you.

Luke! Who missed you severely but couldn't go back to camp now.

Luke! Who was happy with getting his revenge but regretted it as well.

Luke! Who thought of those harsh words you yelled at him that night and how he just wanted to hear you say 'I love you' again.

Luke! Who desired a future with you but could only fantasize about it.

Luke! Who knew you hated him but still kept loving you.

"You'll leave when the clock hits ten."

"You don't know what you got 'til it's gone, my dear."

"So tell me that you love me again."

Luke! Who despite not seeing you for years, instantly recognized you when he saw you with Percy and Annabeth.

Luke! Who just wanted to stop Kronos to prove himself to you even if it meant dying.

Luke! Who just wanted you to love him again, even a little bit.

Luke! Who sacrificed himself to end Kronos just for you to know that he regrets it and wishes things were still normal like at camp all those years ago.

Luke! Who died for your unreciprocated love.

[hxney-lemcn]

omg i know you arent accepting requests right now, but i have this idea that i HAVE to get out to someone and you are who i thought of...

teaching dbh connor to dance 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

and this isnt sent as a request!! more of sharing the one braincell i have LMAO

-🦊

SAME BRAINCELL!!!! Everytime I hear a song that's meant to be danced to I think of this omg. I thought of a little drabble so I have to share <333 Thank you fox anon for this lovely thought.

(Reminder this wasn't a request, it just gave me some inspiration. BUT! If you want to share Connor brainrot I will share mine back lmao)

Master List

a/n: Made when listening to Sway by Michael Buble

wc: 0.3k

"Come here!" I motioned to Connor.

He stood up hesitantly, meeting me in the middle of the room, "I do not know how to dance."

"It's okay," I brushed his concern off. "I don't really either, I just follow the rhythm."

Without a second thought, I grabbed his hand, guiding his free hand to my shoulder, and finally placing my hand on his waist. Clearly I was going to have to lead the dance. The song that was playing filled me completely and didn't leave any chance for me to be nervous. I've always wanted to dance with someone to this song, so why not Connor?

"Back, two, three four. Side, two, three, four. Spin, two, three, four," I muttered, counting to the song while also instructing Connor. He followed me, barely even struggling.

It was nice being able to teach Connor something. Obviously, he had a lot to learn being newly deviant, but teaching him how to dance was so oddly...humanizing. Not that I didn't consider him his own person, but there's no denying that he was an android, not with how imperfectly perfect he was.

Before I knew it, Connor took over, spinning me. I couldn't stop the small laugh that left me. The song was reaching the ending, I've heard the song so many times.

I took in the moment, the look of concentration falling over Connor's beautiful face. The warm feeling of his hands on me. How we seem to somehow continue getting closer to the other. The music filling the silence between us. What a beautiful moment. It was a blessing that I could not only dance to this song, but with someone I hold so dear.

A gasp escaped me as Connor spun us around and dipped me. I held onto his neck, not expecting that at all. The song had moved on to the next one in the playlist, but I didn't even notice. How could I pay attention to anything but the beautiful person that held me so tenderly, and how we sealed the memory with a loving kiss?

[katyblk]

Who Wants To Live Forever

Have no clue if anyone's noticed this before but me and my partner in crime are losing our mind over this probable reference: All Johnny Silverhand/ SilverV lovers/shippers know the dreaded "Who Wants To Live Forever" mission in Cyberpunk 2077 with the infamously painful "Good Night, Valerie/Vincent. Today was a good day." quote that made us bawl our eyes out. Keep your focus on the quote. Most Cyberpunk 2077 players also know that post-Interlude/Act 2, mission names are assigned by song names Johnny would've loved. Side note: he really has a kick for Queen, it seems. Well, according to the trivia section on the wiki, it's stated this :

Besides the gorgeously fitting lyrics, if we take a look on Wikipedia, we find out the song was written for the 1986 movie Highlander. I'll spare the movie plot details ( and how similar Connor and Johnny are) but in the scene when Who Wants to Live Forever plays, there's two notable characters: Connor, who is an Immortal and Heather, his wife, who is mortal. They lived together for centuries in the highlands of Scotland. Heather is on her death bed due to old age. After an emotional exchange of words with Heather requesting that Connor lights a candle for her every year on her birthday ( Reminds me of the "You deserve a candle too, Johnny" dialogue at the tree in Dogtown, tbf), Heather dies in his arms and Connor says this: "Good night, my bonny Heather." Yeah.. chat.. I may be tripping but... sussy...

[sophiehhr]

My Victory

warnings: Little bit jealous Jason. Language!! Guys I'm not native speaker. I'm so sorry if you'll see some mistakes.

content: Jason Grace x Nike!reader

word count: 1,7k

The girl was sitting by the fire, listening to the children of Apollo singing songs with several children of Aphrodite and Hermes. A guy from Ares' cabin, Nikolas, tried to talk to her. Ares's children were usually very persistent and annoying, but the boy seemed to really want to talk to his daughter Nike.

Y/n knew Nikolas through Clarisse, one of his sisters, who introduced them (as she later found out, the boy had asked La Rue to do so), he was tall, strong with very short dark hair and crazy eyes. Not Y/n's type at all.

"Would you like to-"

Before he could finish, Jason Grace sat down next to daughter Nike, exhaling, clearing his throat, and like always looking serious.

"Nikolas, Y/n," Jupiter's son greeted, "Is Ares' cabin ready for the capture of the flag?"

Jason asked innocently, moving closer to Y/n. She heard a hint of mockery in his voice, because the Red team, which included Ares' house, hadn't captured the flag for a long time.

It seemed that for a moment Ares's son's eyes showed his characteristic fierce fire and he said through his teeth

"Of course, Grace. Our strategy will lead us to victory."

Nikolas was the strategist of the Red team, but he was no match for the Blue team's strategist – Annabeth Chase.

"Didn't you say that last time? But how quickly did we capture him that time?" the guy turned to her "Don't you remember Y/n?"

His false sweet tone and lips curling into a sneer seemed to infuriate Nikolas.

"Twenty-five minutes. You had a bad defense."

Y/n knew what she was talking about, because she had captured their flag herself that time. They put three people on the defense, but they didn't seem to care much, they were talking more than watching. But they didn't expect their daughter Nike to get through the defense so quickly.

"If the Connor brothers hadn't distracted the guards with their stupid tricks, Y/n wouldn't have been able to get through them."

"But she did. I think Ares' cabin should rethink its strategy. Don't you think?" Jason said not so sweetly.

Y/n was sitting between two guys who would love to bite each other's necks. But Nikolas stood up without even saying goodbye and went to the cabin №5.

"What the fuck was that, Jace? Want to turn Ares' cabin against you?"

Jason didn't even try to hide his satisfied smile and looked at the singing Apollo children.

"I just reminded them to double-check the strategy. I don't see anything wrong with it."

Y/n felt his arm wrap around her waist and pull her closer to him and stroke and touch her thigh. She smiled

"Besides, he shouldn't talking to my girlfriend."

"Oh, jealous?"

"Yes, I'm jealous."

Y/n hoped the firelight would hide her intense blush.

"And I love it."

She laughed as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Why are you only wearing a t-shirt?" he took her two hands with one hand.

It was indeed late spring, but still cold, and she was sitting in pants and a short-sleeved camp T-shirt without a top.

"I forgot my sweater."

He like perfect Roman gentleman quickly stood up and took off his sweater, and threw it over her shoulders.

"Stop sitting here, let's go to my cabin"

"Will you keep me warm?"

"Ofc I'll my Victory."

She had a happy smile on her face.

Gods she loved Jupiter's son so madly.

[the-uninformed-zennial]

HEY GUYS HAVE I MENTIONED HOW DARRY & PONYBOY CODED VIRGIL AND PIETRO FROM BOUND SMP ARE???

Okay, so for those of you who missed it, Jamie and Connor named their stream today after this one song from the Outsiders broadway musical called “Little Brother” and oh my god it goes so hard for so many different reasons. But that’s beside the point. Although that song in particular is sung about two different brothers than the ones that remind me of the birdthers, it gives me an excellent excuse to rant about two of my current hyperfixations; the Outsiders musical, and Bound SMP.

So, the first time I really started to see the resemblance was during that one stream where Virgil shows up at Rune’s door with a switchblade knife, all skittish and worried. It reminded me so much of that one scene where Johnny and Ponyboy show up at Dally’s house and are like “what do we do??”. And I know the end results were different (Pony and Johnny run away, whereas Virgil is convinced to stay), I still think the vibes were right.

(Spoilers for today’s stream below)

Then again, during this stream with Virgil and Pietro. The entire time they were talking all I could see is that scene at the end where Ponyboy and Darry finally make-up after Darry hit him. It’s just the vibes of “Yes. We’re brothers. You love me so much you hurt me because of it, but we’re brothers. So I love you too.”

And I go a little feral over it honestly.

[hughiecampbelle]

Fucking Married (Lukas Matsson x Roy!Sibling )

Character/s: Lukas, Connor, Kendall, Shiv, Roy, Logan

Word Count: 1,908

Inspired By: Fucking Married by Harriette

A/N: I love writing for Baby Roy so much omg. This song is the main inspiration, it's so good!!! I hope you guys like this as much as I do because I'm screaming!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Something bight and peachy hit your bloodline, warming you from the inside out. You could feel your cheeks heat up against his chest, swaying side to side. You pulled yourself closer, feeling unsteady on your feet. He laughs a little, kissing the top of your head, squeezing you harder. There isn’t a second of his life that goes by where he isn’t grateful for you. All of you. Music plays from the speaker of his phone in his pocket, an old one you’d heard thousands of times. About love and life and loss. One of his favorites. Of course he would pick this, you smiled. His hand on your back, the other in your hand, swaying softly. He even hums along to the chorus, not saying anything. Not patronizing you, or lecturing you, or reminding you how expensive this whole day was. He’s just grateful to have you to himself for a few moments, getting the dance you promised him regardless of the circumstances. Behind you, they gather by the bar, ordering for themselves. No one had told the staff it was all over. It wasn’t going to happen. The worked quickly, quietly, eagerly. The rest walked gingerly, serving appetizers on silver platters. It made their eyes light up, each grabbing greedily, knowing they hadn’t eaten much since yesterday. He spins you sweetly, making you laugh, feeling childish. At the sound of this, they perked up, their faces breaking out in grins. He always known how to get you to smile, even when you weren’t really feeling it. Even when you’d been crying minutes ago. 

Everyone else has gone, even the groom. Especially the groom. None thought to look here the way they had. Surrounded by colorful, oddly shaped glasses with toothpicks of fruit stabbed down the middle. Peach, mango, pineapple, apple, grapefruit. Mixed drinks of little rainbows, one spilled down the front of your white corset. No amount of rubbing will get that out. You shrug, grabbing for another. Thats how they found you. Drinking yourself drunk, chewing up the bits of fruit, hiding from everyone like you’d been doing since you were little. You were sure you stunk of some sixteen year olds favorite mixer, the sweetness of all this leaving you feeling bitter. Wronged. You were under the tables at the reception, crying softly, feeling yourself ease up a little. The whole morning had been nerve wracking. So much so you forgot how to breathe. Greeting everyone, thanking everyone, your own mother late, your father not showing up at all. You played the part, good enough to convince everyone else but yourself, and a few watchful eyes. Those that knew you, who saw you through it all, could see these pre-wedding jitters were more than that. You were petrified. Are you mad at me? You asked so much like a child, tucking your knees to your chest, trying to hide the skirt of your dress from their view. It was too big to hide under the tablecloth. Mad at you? Are you kidding? Come on kid, come and talk to us. You sniffled, chewing a cherry. When you didn’t even consider moving, you heard the groan of a man more than twice your age, watching him get to his knees. The rest protest, but he doesn’t listen. You wipe your cheeks, knowing you must look mad, your makeup ruined. He pokes his head through, wearing that familiar smile. The kind that promises everything will be okay, that you did the right thing, that he could never, ever be angry with you. It only makes you cry harder. I made a mistake. You repeat this over and over again, unable to catch your breath. He urges you out, unable to crawl under with you. Come on kiddo, it’s okay. It’ll be okay. No one’s mad at you. Eventually, you follow him out. 

Kendall taps Connors shoulder, wanting to cut in. His eyes meet yours, asking if this is okay. You nod, taking Kens hand. You rest your chin on his shoulder. He’s changed the song to something more his speed, not the kind of song to slow dance to of course. It looks and sounds ridiculous and yet, you can’t help but grin. It’s so him. You did the right thing. It comes out barely above a whisper. You don’t stop moving, though you hesitate for a second. You hadn’t thought about right and wrong, only that you were overcome with an overwhelming sense of dread. Not just today, though it was definitely amplified. Ever since he popped the question, ever since you were expected to say yes. What other choice did you have? Did I? The question comes out before you can stop it, your voice a lot shakier than you expected. Do you feel better? There’s not a second of hesitation. Of course you do. That sinking feeling was totally eradicated. You nod. Then you did the right thing. He made it sound so simple. It couldn’t be, could it? His hands on your waist, in your hand, always wrapped around you, like he was afraid you’d run. Maybe he knew all along. The look on his face said another story. Those knowing, self-assured eyes were wide pools of blue, calling after you, but you were too far to understand what exactly he was saying. He was hurt and angry. You hurt him. But you knew, if you went through with it, you’d hurt for the rest of your life. You were young, too young. You had so much more time, so many more mistakes to make. Not the kind like this. You’d only looked back once, to see his face. Kendall immediately stood up, holding him off from running after you. Were they speaking? You couldn’t see, only that your brother stopped him in his tracks. Connor stood in the middle of the aisle like a deer in the headlights. He was walking you down, not Logan. He hadn’t thought his appearance was necessary. How angry he’d be, you could picture it now, calling after you. He would have killed you. 

She turns off Kendalls awful music, putting on something that’s more your taste. Shiv holds her arms around your neck, and yours around hers. She looks beautiful, as always. What do you think Dad’s gonna say? Like a child, you fear the man in charge. If not him, then it would have been your husband. There is always an angry man in every scenario. She shrugs, searching your face, searching for the right words. He won’t be happy, she starts slowly, but it’s not like he can drag you down the aisle, right? She tilts her head to the side, a trait she’s carried with her all her life. I guess you’re right. Though it isn’t anymore comforting. She sees this, senses it, and tries to reassure you. Hey, hey he’ll understand. Maybe not now, but he will. You’ll always be his baby, no matter what. You think we haven’t colossally fucked up before? You try to hide your smile. Your smart sister, taking care of everyone. Where would you be without her? When you’d asked her to be your maid of honor, she was wary. You didn’t sound so sure. Not that you doubted her role for a second, rather that she’d take the brunt of the blame if you decided to take off, as if it were some great master plan between you and her. She would have taken that fall, though. She would have found a way to spin the narrative. Save both of you. She was always doing that: saving sinking ships. Is that what your marriage was, could have been? Probably. You weren’t a good match, you and him. You didn’t want your world to be business dinners and investors. You wanted to explore, see the world, make a name for yourself outside of the Roy/Matsson conglomerate. He was perfectly happy rotting away in meetings. You didn’t have the same interests, the same hobbies, nothing. He spoke Swedish in front of you, probably about you, constantly leaving you out of the conversation. What kind of life would you have lead? A bad one. A miserable one, no doubt. 

You know you can never come back to Sweden after this. You’re like banned, permanently, for life. You slap Roman on the chest, trying not to laugh. I’m serious! He will get every Swede on his side and they’ll all gang up on you. They’ll never forget the day you left him at the altar. That strikes something in you, a deep fear. Did you make a mistake? Was this the best you’d ever do and you ruined your chances? Quickly, Roman tries to undo what he’s done, of course with a joke. Kid, come on. Matsson as my brother? Barf. This is a good thing. You did a good thing, for everyone involved. Besides, you didn’t want to have sleep with that guy every day for the rest of your life, right? He’d get tired of looking at himself in the mirror every night. Roman pretended to snore, “dozing off” as you swayed, until your smile came back. You hadn’t even been involved in planning the wedding. His assistants took care of most of it. Not even the date or the place had been cleared by you. You were just expected to show up, get married, call it a day. Everything you’d heard about weddings were magical, the kind of thing that brought couples closer. He was in Sweden not long after you said yes, you in New York. you maybe talked twice a week, if you were lucky. It was almost laughable how silly it all was. Of course you ran. Of course you bailed. He was, essentially, a stranger. A handsome one maybe, if you were in the right mood, the right lighting, but still. Had your mother really bought this? Had everyone? Were they fucking stupid? Do you think he’s upset? Who, Matsson? Fuck no, he probably forgot all about it. He’s got, what, a thirty second memory? He always knew the best thing to say. They all did. Where’s the ring? Hm? The ring, what did you do with it? Oh. You’d thrown it over the deck of the reception dance floor, feeling too claustrophobic to leave it on. It fell down somewhere in the foggy wilderness. After that, you grabbed your tray of drinks and climbed under the table. Are you kidding? That’s hilarious. Roman laughed a hearty laugh, peering over the glass bannister. That things fuckin’ gone. Forever!  Lukas could spend the rest of his life, or his assistants life, searching. There was no way you’d go back to him, take back what you did. You could be wrong, but your whole family? It wasn’t often you and your siblings came to the same conclusion. When it came to this, though, you were all in agreement: he could go fuck himself. Everyone at the wedding could for not seeing this sooner. Let him cry like a little baby. Let him keep his money, his houses, his everything. All of sweden, too. You had your brothers and sister. They’d have your back no matter what, regardless of the situation. They’d look after you, look after your best interest at heart. Look on the brightside, Roman said, you’re saving a hell of a lot on the divorce. I gave it five years, tops.

[foxes-that-run]

Everything Has Changed

Taylor told Digital Spy: "It's about falling in love. It's about meeting someone and all of a sudden your entire perspective on the world changes - you're thinking for two, instead of one." It was written the week starting 20 May 2012, after Harry arrived in LA.

Music Video

The scene where the class is watching a move these are scenes of Paris, a hint toward Begin Again and Paris being special to Harry and Taylor. Eiffel Tower, Pont Alexandre III - Bridge over the Seine appear.

The school play scene is reminiscent of Harry's actual first performance in a school play when he was 6, Harry also recreated part of this in the Daylight Music Video.

It's full of adorable moments where the two kids, (who return for the Joker and the Queen) where the boy and girl are apart from other kids in their own private world. The tent scene is later in Willow:

The little boy reads the Notebook, Harry's favourite movie to the girl. The girl is doing embroidery (!! very loml coded! LK does too)

The girl tattoos the boy, as is in IKYWT and reality Taylor was there when Harry got the ship tattoo.

The kids communicate by text, rather like two pop stars who live in different countries would and do, such as this famous VMA exchange, and the letter exchange in the Delicate video.

The Taylors Version Lyric Video also uses Pink & Blue text and butterflies.

Live performances

Taylor performed it with Ed on the Red Tour. It wasn't played on the 1989 or Reputation tours. It was a surprise song, with TIWWCHNT, on 22 July 2023, the date of Harry's final Love on Tour show.

When was it written and 20 May 2012

15 May 2012 - Taylor and Ed started writing together working on Run first.

20 May 2012 - At the end of a tour break Harry and 1D arrived in LA, Harry & Taylor disappeared for a week. The rest of the band went to Mohegan Sun in CT and are seen by fans without Harry.

22 May 2012 - Harry performs with One Direction

27 May 2012 - Ed and Taylor meet and write Everything Has Changed together on her Trampoline. Although Ed said their 'camps reached out at the same time' Ed and Harry had been friends since Ed was 19 and Harry was 16. Ed also wrote several songs for One Direction and likely introduced them. Ed, Taylor and Harry. were experiencing all a new level of success. Only last year Ed talked wistfully about having jam nights writing music in a community this song reminds me of.

28 May - Harry gets the A tattoo and later says it is for his mum, the band laughs and says it is for a mystery blonde. Taylor wrote under Taylor A Swift and wore an A sweater in End Game.

29 May - Ed and Taylor record EHC

17 June - Harry got the temper trap tattoo

23 June - Harry's 'Hi' tattoo is first seen in Dallas 23 June, possibly referring to this song.

The draft lyrics refer to a Gemini, which Taylor has not dated. Maybe someone in Ed's life, a veiled reference to a twin (which Taylor uses again in TTPD) or Harry does have Gemini in his chart.

Ed later said, Taylor was in a relationship when they met: (Tumblr | eNews)

“When I first met Taylor I was in a relationship and she was in a relationship and we just formed a friendship through that,“ he said. "And both our relationships ended and we just carried on being friends. There’s nothing I really want more than friendship there. I know her very very well now and she knows me very very well.”

Secret message

The secret message is "Hyiannis Port" rather than "Hyannis Port". The additional 'I' may be a typo - but knowing Taylor's attention to detail I think it is "H-and-I" Harry signs short messages 'H' and 'y' Spanish 'and'.

This secret message is often thought to indicate Conor Kennedy, However Taylor met Connor 4 July 2012, 2 months after the song was recorded. Taylor owned the house in Hyannis Port house from August 2012 - March 2013, she was dating Harry for almost all of that time. As in Alex and Sierra's I Love You and August they spent time there.

Lyrics

[Intro: Ed Sheeran] “You good to go?” [Verse 1: Taylor Swift] All I knew this morning when I woke Is I know something now, know something now I didn’t before And all I’ve seen since 18 hours ago Is green eyes and freckles And your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like

The first verse set the scene for enthusiastic new beginnings. Taylor describes Harry's green eyes and freckles, Taylor continues to use green in association with Harry.

[Pre-Chorus: Taylor Swift & Ed Sheeran] I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now x4

Harry later refers to this in Sunflower Vol 6: "Wish I could get to know you"

[Chorus: Taylor Swift & Ed Sheeran] ‘Cause all I know is we said, “Hello” And your eyes look like coming home All I know is a simple name Everything has changed All I know is you held the door You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours All I know since yesterday Is everything has changed

All I know is we said 'hello' and a simple name (Harry). Harry got his Hi Tattoo a few weeks after this song was written.

Your eyes look like coming home - Home is an important theme in Harry and Taylor's work and means a person, rather than a place. This is from the Notebook (Your mother is my home) which is also featured in the music video.

[Verse 2: Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift] And all my walls stood tall, painted blue I’ll take ’em down, take ’em down And open up the door for you And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies, the beautiful kind Makin’ up for lost time, taking flight making me feel right

Walls standing painted blue means Taylor was feeling isolated and depressed. There is an odd similarity with Paper Rings where she painted the muses brothers' walls blue... and had a suss exposition of holding a paintbrush in front of a blue wall. Here though, she is taking down the walls and letting the muse in.

Doors are a Haylor Theme

Butterflies - while butterflies were key in the artwork for Lover and appear in spotify canvases for it, Taylor only refers to them twice - in this song and Clean. "When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room" Harry referenced in Olivia "The summertime and butterflies / All belong to your creation / I love you, it's all I do". He also has a large butterfly tattoo on his chest.

Flight is also a Haylor theme

[Bridge: Taylor Swift & Ed Sheeran] Come back and tell me why I’m feeling like I’ve missed you all this time And meet me there tonight Let me know that it’s not all in my mind

Making up for lost time is very similar to something Harry later said at TIFF about wasted time being the most devastating thing.

'Let me know that it's not all in my mind' Minds are a Haylor theme. Here it is filled with possibility, a leap of faith expected to be returned by the muse, which it was. On TTPD it is the opposite, a feeling that it is not reciprocated:

I hate it here: I will go to Lunar valleys in my mind

Guilty as Sin: What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh

Only in my mind?

[Outro: Taylor Swift] All I know is we said, “Hello” So dust off your highest hopes All I know is pouring rain And everything has changed All I know is a new found grace All my days, I’ll know your face All I know since yesterday Is everything has changed

Pouring rain is later referred to in many key songs about Harry and Taylors relationship. It is the key metaphor in Clean, which is an ending in the relationship, Everything Has Changed being the beginning. In Clean:

Rain came pouring down When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe And by morning Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean

This reference in Clean as rain washing their love away is again referred to in My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys: "The voices in his head called the rain to end our days of wild"

The imagery of rain pouring down, washing away but also as a metaphor for depression has been a theme in Harry and Taylors songs. Most remarkably in the music videos for Falling/Cardigan. Rain is also in How You Get The Girl: "Stand there like a ghost, shaking from the rain"

[iwonderwh0]

The day androids got taken away for deactivation, hundreds of kids with household androids cried themselves to sleep, mourning a family member.

They got attached. Hank too got attached.

Before today, he thought of the revolution as an overall positive event - something worth celebrating, or something he celebrated, at least. For him it symbolised change, a beginning of something better. It was only now that the true scale of the tragedy caught up with him, making him aware of how many android lives it actually cost. Only now it clicked with him how many of them were still mourned, and how, of all people, it was mostly kids who truly missed them.

Throughout December, he saw the memorials with old broken smartphones lined up in tight rows and columns, each for one killed android whose life was meaningful enough for someone to honour it with flowers and candles. And back then, he could never understand why were those flowers so crappy-looking and messy, mostly artificial or folded out of paper as origami. He used to wonder if it was another part of a symbolism - "artificial flowers for artificial people". Now it was obvious that the reason for that was much simpler: it was mostly kids who brought them. Most of them had no means to bring real flowers, so they folded them out of paper.

For the first time, Hank felt embarrassed for never having contributed anything to that memorial when it was still around. He should have brought some flowers, the real ones. Maybe he could even succeed in finding his old smartphone with dead battery and use it as a part of the memorial – if not for someone he personally knew, maybe for some of the deviants he saw last November, perhaps the one who killed himself in a holding cell. He didn't *know* him, didn't even consider him to be a person then, which, however, doesn't mean he could ever forget about him or his case. Arguably, he was the only person who kept thinking about him almost daily months after he died.

Hank didn't lose any close friends or family members the way others did that last November, though. The android he cared most about was still alive, now sitting right beside him on a passenger seat, waiting for Hank to start the engine, fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt. Hank noticed him always fiddling with something, be it a small object or his own clothes that he kept adjusting even if it was perfectly fine the way it was before. He would rub his palms together as if struggling to keep them warm or other times he'd tap the table or other surface he had around with his fingers in some irregular rhythmic patterns that Hank sometimes wondered was originated from some songs he happened to hear, maybe even among those Hank played in his presence himself.

Fiddling was one of those things Connor always did, even before turning deviant. Something so human yet small enough to be completely ignored, or, like in Hank's case, only think of it as something, android did to annoy him personally. How come he never gave it a second thought back then, never wondered why those completely pointless actions were even there? Would it change anything if he did? Would it provided him with enough evidence to answer his question before he had a chance to ask it with a gun? He wished the answers to all those questions were 'yes', and yet it was only now, months later that he actually paid attention to Connor doing any of that and questioned why. Why did he fail to see the significance of it earlier?

As he pondered that, Connor crossed his hands over his chest, deep in thought, while his fingers tapped out a rhythm on his left sleeve. Was he even aware of doing that?

Suddenly Hank felt the urge to touch him. Confirm his presence, and remind him of his own. It took a conscious effort to suppress that urge. Instead Hank cleared his throat and said.

"I remember when kids wanted to become pop stars or video bloggers. Never occurred to me that some kids today might want to be androids."

Connor stopped the tapping and eyed him.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know... It's just weird. That's all."

Connor shifted in his seat, turning to face Hank.

"Who did you want to become?" he asked, "As a kid."

"Not a police lieutenant, that's for sure."

"That's not the answer to the question I asked."

"And you're gonna make it my problem."

Hank could almost feel being scanned as android tilted his head slightly.

"Am I bothering you?"

"Always."

Connor grinned at him, and Hank felt the corners of his own mouth rising as well at the sight.

[bullet-prooflove]

headcanons 12. Grudges and vendettas (yes. yes this is just me giving you a reason to talk about how much natalie pisses him you off)

I feel like this could go on forever with Jimmy because he does not suffer fools, esp ones that fuck about with his wife.

Grudges:

Natalie – hates the fact she can’t do her job without getting overly emotionally involved often to the detriment of others. Is super pissed off when she tries to drag others into her drama, eg: Anita over Children’s Services queries, Will over the medical trial, Crockett over her feelings for Will, Jeff Clarke over her dead hubby.

Will – previous grudge – close friends now. – Absolutely hated his maverick attitude, felt like Will’s sole purpose was to make his life harder in the ED until… Those news rules got imposed preventing them from treating people who needed it, it really pissed Jimmy off that they couldn’t help people because of a financial factor. He really enjoyed Will’s creative application to the problem, also the way he handled the Matt scandal. It made him realise Will actually had the good of the patients at heart and it was more about doing what’s best for them than ego.

Anita’s mentor Danny,- if that man comes into the ED, he absolutely refuses to be the one treating him.

Social services in general for the way they treated his wife, basically using her up and spitting her out. For him it’s very much an example of how the system is completely broken.

The coffee guy from the café down the street who put his phone number on Anita’s coffee cup despite seeing the wedding ring. Jimmy will not leave a tip for this joker and will give him the most complicated order imaginable just to see him stress.

CFO of Chicago Med – He hates this guy, esp after the scrubs thing. He likes things run efficiently and that guy really fucked a lot of things up for them in terms of the supply chain and treating patients, to Jimmy that’s unacceptable. If they ever end up on the same elevator, Jimmy’s reminding him of the importance of patient care.

Connor Rhodes – mutual respect now – but at first he was pissed because Connor kept using the hybrid OR for shit it wasn’t meant to be used for and it was running up costs in the ED that Jimmy had to explain or make deficits for in the budget. When he very forcefully explained this to Connor who hadn’t realised this the two came to an agreement.

Jack Dayton – he hated 2.0 with a passion because it kept telling him what to do during surgery and despite knowing better he would argue with it. When he tried to explain the probs with this to Jack and Grace Song he was brushed off about his concerns because he know docs like Sam and Dean would go out of their way to avoid it’s backseat surgery.

Stevie Hammer – he will never forgive her for breaking Will’s heart a little. He was just starting to get back on his feet after Hannah, put himself out there a little and then she went back to a husband who didn’t love her, because he offered her a better medical position. For Jimmy it really showed her true self.

Maggie – initially because he found her nosy, but he understands now she cares deeply for the people around her and it’s done out of love. He was very sorry to hear about her and Ben and it put the shits up him a little, because to him they were the perfect couple and he never saw the divorce coming. He’s extra attentive to his own marriage after that.

Doris – He dislikes the fact she’s really gossipy. Him and Anita once had a very heated discussion she overheard and before lunch time, multiple people had made comments about the state of his marriage, offering him advice.

[ladylooch]

Best Thing I'll Ever Do - Lio x Savannah (Part 1)

A/N: It is here!!!! Part 1 of 5 for Lio and Savannah's long fertility journey. Sorry in advance because y'all are gonna hurt with this one... and the next one.. and the next one... and, well you get it 😬 These parts will span over multiple years. Currently, Savannah and Lio are back together, but it's new.

Word Count: 5.1k

Part 2| Part 3 | Part 4 |

On a sunny day in Southern California, Lio Meier looks out the bus window, nodding his head to the beat of the song blasting through his AirPods. He is deep in his pre-game routine, ready to hit the ice for another battle in the greatest hockey league in the world. His eyes trail over the flat surface of the hotel lot, looking up at the blue California sky. It’s hot today, welcome compared to the snow currently falling on the East Coast. He feels the bus begin to rumble as the break is released, then glances towards the front of the bus as Hockey Ops director, Marc, comes towards his seat.

“Sup?” Lio asks, popping an ear bud out when it’s clear Marc wants to speak to him.

“Hey, Savannah isn’t feeling well. She’s staying behind to rest.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Lio frowns. “Thanks for letting me know.”

He hasn’t seen his girlfriend today, but that isn’t unusual for game days. She is busy working on game-day content with her staff and he has to worry about getting in the right mental state for the game. They had been texting earlier about a few things, actually work related, but she never mentioned she wasn’t feeling well. She must have started to feel sick after they both took their pre-game naps.

Marc heads back to the front of the bus as Lio pulls his phone out. He navigates into his messages to check in on her.

You okay?

Yeah, just not up for the game.

Okay. I’m sorry you’re sick, babe. Can I do anything for you?

Win 😘 I don’t need angry fans in the team DMs.

Yes ma’am. Love you 😘

He chuckles, then puts his phone back in his pocket. He pops his earbud in his ear and returns to his pre-game focus. 

By the time his skate blades hit the rubber mats of the visiting locker room after the game, Lio is on a high. Not only did the team win, but he had two goals and an assist. He was on fire tonight, flying through defenses, hitting his picked corners, and saucing ridiculous passes on the power play. He felt like he was in a little funk before this West Coast trip, but that all faded away tonight. He loves being on the road with the boys. And Savannah, even if she likes to tease him and keep him at an arms length so she can focus on her job.

Normally, Lio plays along well, but tonight he isn’t going to let her close her hotel room door on him.

Not because he wants sex. Mostly, he wants to cuddle with her and fall asleep together. Nights like this are rare, where they are going back to the same hotel and not catching a plane to the next destination. Instead, they are having back to back games against the Ducks and Kings.

Lio can’t wait to drill Luca into the boards tomorrow. Although, they don’t usually match up together, the boys have a tradition of finding the other in the first few shifts of the game. It’s a competition on who can hit who first. The two hockey players love it. Checking helps shift their mindset from brothers to opponents for the next 60 minutes.

Lio grabs two slices of pizza from the catering table, then makes his way down to the bus. He checks his phone, not seeing anything from Savannah, but plenty of texts from his parents and siblings. His parents are proud. His sister is reminding him he better not pull any shit tomorrow. His younger brothers are cheering about his top titty goals. There is also a text from Connor asking when he is back in town because him and Lucie are itching for a date night. He holds both pizza slices between his teeth so he can text Connor back right away. He misses Stella so much and knows Sav will jump at the chance to hang with her too.

Tuesday or Thursday this week works.

After texting Connor, he pulls up his phone app, clicking on Savannah’s name to call her. The phone rings and rings and rings, then goes to her voicemail. Lio clicks off the call, sending her a text instead.

Hey babe, we should be back in like twenty minutes. I’m gonna change then come up. No negotiations tonight 🤐

He smirks. He can’t wait to get his hands on her. Maybe let them wander over her curves, see what they can get up to tonight, but only if she is up for it.

The ride back to the hotel is quiet with most of the boys trying to wind down to go to sleep. Back to backs are brutal at this point in the season, so conserving energy and attempting to recover faster is important. Lio is one of the first ones off the bus, heading to his room and pulling on a fresh pair of sweatpants. He hangs his suit up in the closet, then gives his teeth a quick brush to remove the coating of gatorade and saliva on his teeth from the game. After, he heads up one floor to Savannah’s room. He continues responding to his dad as he walks down the hallway, slides gliding on the carpet below while his thumbs work on the phone screen.

He raises his hand to knock, rapping his knuckles against the solid door. He chuckles at his dad’s gif back to him of Swiss cheese when joking about the Kings goalie they face tomorrow. He looks at the door, surprised Sav hasn’t answered yet. He knocks again.

“Babe, it’s me.” He calls through the door. 

Lio puts his phone in his pocket, then stuffs his hands in each one. He shifts his weight from side to side, stretching out his hips a bit. They’re feeling tight after the game. He mentally reminds himself to stretch before bed. 

Lio pauses all his movements and thoughts, listening intently, trying to hear if Sav is walking towards the door. He steps closer, pressing his ear on the door. Of course he can’t hear anything. Instinctively, he tries the door. Of course it is locked. He steps back, double checking the plaque to the right that he is at the correct room.

“Babe?” He says louder. “I need you to open the door or respond or something…” He trails off, anxiety rocking through him. He knows something is wrong.

He pulls his phone out, calling her. He can hear her phone ringing close to the door. Then he hears the click of the lock. The door creaks slightly open. Lio sees Savannah on the ground, tear streaked down her face. Her face is pale and her body heaves with each heavy breath she breathes.

“Oh my god, baby.” He crouches down to her level immediately. He puts a hand on her cheek, feeling her skin. She feels fine. He moves his fingers to her jaw, feeling how clenched it is. Lio’s eyebrows furrow. “What is going on?”

Savannah whimpers. She is in complete disarray, crumbled clothes, hair fumbling out of her braid like she has been tugging on it endlessly.

“How long have you been like this, honey?” Lio whispers tenderly. His hands roam over her, needing to touch her but worrying about hurting her.

Savannah shakes her head. Lio pushes the door open, mindful of not hitting her legs. He works his way into the door fully, then cautiously picks her up. She shudders in his arms as he kicks the door shut. Her head rests on his shoulder, eyes screwed shut tight as she clutches her abdomen with coiled fingers.

“You’re in pain?” He asks. She nods vigorously. “Okay, I am going to call Doc up here.”

He gently lays Savannah on the bed. She immediately curls into a fetal position, moaning. Lio rests his hand on her thigh, rubbing along it in soothing circles as he dials the team doctor, Darius.

“Hello?”

“I need you to come to Savannah’s room. Something is wrong. 610. Please run.” 

“Okay.” He hangs up.

“He’s coming, baby.” Lio leans forward, brushing her hair of her face. “I’ll be right back.” Then he kisses her arm, before walking to the door to wait.

The elevator opens and Dr. Darius comes out with his bag in his hand. He runs down the hall.

“What’s going on?” 

“I don’t know. She can’t really speak, but she is in pain and holding her abdomen.”

“Okay.” Dr. Darius darts into the room, opening his bag. “Hi Savannah.” She looks up at him with fresh tears on her cheeks. “Can you give me a rating from 1-10?”

“Its a 9.” She wails. “I’ve thrown up three times. And I passed out in the bathroom.”

“Okay. What hurts?”

“It’s my Endo.” She grits out. “I have my period. I’m bleeding through everything too.” They both look down at Savannah’s pants, seeing the blood collecting on the fabric.

“Okay. We gotta go to the hospital.” 

“I know.” She says. “I just… c-c-can’t.” She grits her teeth again, screeching through her teeth. Lio feel this heart collapse in his chest. He has never seen Savannah like this. He doesn’t understand what Endo is or what is going on. All he knows is she is a tough woman and for her to be wrung out like this, whatever she is feeling is extreme.

“Can you give her anything?” Lio asks, feeling slightly sick to his stomach watching her writhe on the bed. Darius is holding her wrist, checking her pulse.

“No. We don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

“She just said its… Endo… I don’t know what the is but it’s clearly painful.”

“We can’t give her anything. We will let the hospital take care of it.” Dr. Darius stands, walking into the bathroom. “Wrap this around her waist. Then I want you to carry her down to the lobby. I’ll grab Marc for the car keys and meet you down there.” 

Dr. Darius leaves the room. Lio turns back to Sav. She still lays in the fetal position, eyes closed, focusing on her breaths, trying to even them out even as the pain clearly keeps her rigid. 

“Hold on, baby.” Lio whispers, leaning down to kiss her temple. She reaches for his hand on her thigh, crushing it in her grasp. 

“Lee, don’t leave me.”

“Never.” He promises. “I’m right here.”

Lio keeps his promise on the way to the hospital where he sits in the back seat with her and then in the chair next to her hospital bed. Although they get a bed quickly, it takes forever for them to be seen in the ER. Eventually, Dr. Darius finds a nurse who he explains the organization they are with. Then, a doctor comes to see them in another few minutes.

After flipping through the chart and asking a few basic questions, then taking her vitals, he sighs and flips the stethoscope back around his neck.

“Well, you’ve had endometriosis since you were young. But with the severity of the pain, potentially an ovarian cyst burst. Do you have a history of that?”

“Yes.” Savannah says.

“Okay, well let’s get an ultrasound done and see if that may be the cause.” Savannah nods. Lio squeezes her hand, finally happy with progress being made to get her pain relief. 

The ultrasound confirms the cyst, it has burst, and Savannah should be feeling better after a few days. However, the radiologist warns Savannah there is significant build up of endometriosis in her uterus. Savannah stares blankly at the screen as the technician points to the areas of concern. 

“You will want to follow up with your primary care provider when you return home.” Savannah nods, then looks away from the screen, playing with the edges of the paper blanket that was placed over her lower half for the ultrasound. 

“What about the blood?” Lio asks the ER doctor when he comes back in to discharge Savannah.

“It isn’t significant blood loss to warrant further action. She may become anemic. Iron supplements will help. She will be tired for a few days while her body replenishes her supply, but nothing more to be done here.”

“Wait, what?” Lio shakes his head. “So she just has to suffer until her body creates enough blood. Why can’t you give her a transfusion?”

“Because other people have a greater need.” The doctor snaps back. Lio is taken aback. His mouth drops open in surprise, then he looks over at Dr. Darius like, ‘is this guy for real?’

“Savannah has been in significant pain for some time now. Can we get additional pain management prescribed for her as her body works on absorbing the cyst?” He asks. The doctor nods, tossing his notepad on the table.

“Any medication allergies?” He asks Savannah without looking up.

“No.” She weakly responds.

“Okay, this should be good then.” He rips off the note pad and extends it to her. She frowns. 

“Can I have something stronger? This doesn’t really work for me. It’s basically stronger Tylenol.” The doctor contemplates.

“The circumstances don’t call for anything stronger at this point.”

“Seriously? What the fuck is your problem dude?” Lio snaps. 

“And your boyfriend seems to have an anger management problem so I wonder if he wants you to get some pain pills for himself.” Lio puffs his chest out, trying to stand, but Savannah grips his fingers tightly.

“No.” She murmurs to him.

“This is very unprofessional.” Dr. Darius frowns. “Standard hospital protocol should allow for strong drugs in circumstances where patients have been in severe pain for over 8 hours, which she has. She was also give stronger medication than what you have prescribed here when she first came in and is now in a comfortable position.”

The doctor sighs again, like he’s so bored with this conversation and these three people, then writes out a prescription for a strong dosage. 

“Please follow up with your provider when you return home.” He calls lazily over his shoulders as he leaves the room.

Lio pops up, following him out of the room with Dr. Darius hot on his heels.

“Look, I’m sorry I got upset, but you’re not listening to her. This is not normal. She can’t breathe, man. You have to help her.”

“I am helping her. She has a diagnosis and needs to work with her primary care provider for a treatment plan. This is a chronic condition. Not an emergency.”

"So, that's it? You're just gonna leave her in that bed, pump her with drugs, and hope thats enough for her?" 

"Lio, let's go back in with Savannah." Dr. Darius encourages him. Lio stands there looking at the ER doctor with his hands on his hips. There are so many things he wants to say. He wants to grab that guy and throw him against the wall to make him hurt like his girl hurts. Then he can try to explain the differences in chronic versus new pain while he has a few broken ribs.

Ultimately, Lio scoffs incredulously and beings to walk back into the room. He looks at Dr. Darius. “We need to find her someone better than that asshole.”

Savannah has her eyes closed, slumped back into the pillows when both men come back through the door. 

“What a fucking prick.” Lio mutters about the doctor to Savannah.

“He’s pretty typical of the other ER doctors I’ve seen.” She mumbles. “They see worse than some fragile woman with an invisible illness.”

“How is it invisible?” Lio asks, eyebrows scrunched tight over his frustrated blue eyes. “He literally saw it on the ultrasound. We all did.” Savannah gives him a small smile.

“Women’s pain isn’t take seriously. Especially when it surrounds uteruses or vaginas or has anything to do with periods.” She sighs, closing her eyes and laying back in bed. “I want to go back to the hotel and sleep for a day. Like literally a full day.” 

“We can make that happen.” He murmurs, reaching up to hold her head softly. His thumb strokes across her forehead as his eyes drink her in, relieved that she seems to be pain free now. No thanks to that fucking asshat who just walked out of here. “You doing okay” He asks her. He reaches to her abdomen, adjusting the heating pad on her abdomen where it was sliding off without a hand on it. He rests his hand there gently, keeping it in place so she can stay in the position she is in. 

“Mhm. Good drugs.” She smiles without opening her eyes.

“I didn’t know cysts could form internally…” He trails off, still brushing her forehead.

“Yeah, and I’m extra special, getting them regularly. They don’t always hurt this bad though. Guess it makes sense with how much fluid and such was on the ultrasound. Must have been big.”

“I hate that this happens to you.” He sympathizes. She nods through a yawn.

“Lee, I am gonna sleep for a bit, okay? Wake me when I’m discharged.” 

“Okay, baby.” Lio whispers to her. 

Savannah falls asleep quickly with Lio’s soft hands on her. He watches every second of her slumber, ignoring the other noises and distractions of the ER. Dr. Darius works with the nursing staff on her discharge paperwork, then signs releasing her from the hospital. They get a sleepy Savannah in the wheelchair, fill her prescription at the clinic in the adjoining parking lot, then head back to the hotel. Lio carries his girlfriend back into her room. He drops her off in the bathroom, stepping out so she can clean up on her own. Even though he wants to help, Savannah asks for privacy. He understands; it’s been a long, raw day for her. 

Lio waits on the end of the bed, popping up when he hears the door click open. He wraps an arm around her, guiding her to the bed. He tucks her in with the new heating pad they grabbed for her at the pharmacy, then he tugs his shirt off to wind down for bed with her. It’s after 1am and he is dead tired- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Thankfully, Savannah doesn’t fight his presence. Instead she curls into him, sliding a leg between his so he can hold her as close as possible. 

“Thank you for saving me.” She murmurs. “I would still be laying on the floor if you didn’t come looking for me.” Lio frowns, then kisses her forehead. 

“I love you. I… want to talk more about what is going on with you. I should have asked before, but I didn’t realize it was this bad, baby.”

“It actually hasn’t been this bad in awhile.” Savannah confesses. “But the ultrasound confirmed what I had been thinking. The tissue has grown back and it is deeper.” She yawns loudly. “I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.” She confirms. “But right now, just hold me.”

- - -

 The next morning, Lio wakes up before Savannah. He feels like utter shit. Luckily with it being a back to back, there is not morning skate to take part in. But there is breakfast downstairs, so he peels himself out of Savannah’s grasp and heads down to the conference room to grab something to eat for both of them.

“How is she?” Dr. Darius asks when he sees Lio.

“She is still asleep. But was stable the rest of the night and slept through it.” He surveys the options, grabbing a bagel with cream cheese for Savannah and a breakfast burrito for him. 

“Good. I will come see her before we head to the rink. Determine if she should stay behind or not.” Lio nods. 

“Thanks. I would appreciate that.” Lio says honestly. Dr. Darius pats Lio’s arm.

“You took great care of her last night. She will need that consistently with her condition.” Lio is silent, grabbing a few pieces of fruit for his and Savannah’s plate. He can’t agree or make any sort of response to the doctor because truthfully, he has no idea about Savannah’s condition. Last night was a huge shock to him. He knew she had something from their previous, short term relationship and from what she communicated to him in Switzerland this past summer about likely being unable to have kids. But he has never seen her as weak and sick as she was last night. It was terrifying to him. 

“Last night… wasn’t normal?” He asks Dr. Darius as he grabs fruit right behind Lio for his own plate.

“Ah, it is hard to tell. I am unsure what her symptoms and the severity of her condition. I also do not specialize in that area. But in general, no. It’s not normal. She should be following up with her doctor after an episode this severe.” 

“Is this like a once a month thing?”

“Lio, I think these questions need to be answered by Savannah. Talk to her. Listen. Offer support where you can.” Lio sighs, ultimately agreeing. 

“Thanks again, Doc. For everything. Last night included.”

“Yes, please tell Savannah I will be coming up to see her later.” 

“Will do.” Lio nods, then heads towards the doors, away from where his teammates are huddling together at various tables. Usually, Lio would sit down and shoot the shit, especially with a quick turn around from the game. But not today.

“Meier, where ya going?” Beckett hollers to him.

“He’s got a hot date.” Tony snickers.

“A lil breakfast in bed?!” Carter joins in. 

The three rookies shut up and swallow hard at the glare Lio is throwing them. Lio doesn’t need to say any words; his message was delivered loud and clear. Lio carefully balances the two plates in his hands as he works the key card out of his pocket. He pushes the door open, looking around the corner to see Savannah up on her phone. 

“Oh, hi. I was just texting you.” She yawns.

“Sorry, you were out when I left. Should have texted you.”

“It’s okay.” She smiles. She still looks exhausted and weak. Lio frowns back at her, even as she hopes for a smile from him.

“Good morning.” He says, dropping a kiss on her lips as he places her plate in her lap. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” She sighs. “The drugs last night really helped.” 

“Are you still… bleeding bad?”

“It’s manageable.” Savannah says. The way she drops her gaze has Lio unsure if she is being truthful.

“Is it?” He asks, gripping her chin so she has to look at him.

“Yes.” She says, unwavering this time. Lio gently combs his fingers through the sides of her hair. He had pulled her braid apart for her last night before bed and her blonde locks are wild and wavy around her face. 

“Good.” He murmurs, then leans down for one more kiss. He lingers there, needing her lips on his more than the coffee in his hand. Savannah watches him after he pulls away and climbs onto the bed next to her.

“I’m sorry if last night scared you. I didn’t mean for that.” 

“Baby, you were going through it.” Lio shakes his head, unwrapping his breakfast burrito. “No need to apologize. That’s what I’m here for.” 

“You had a good game.” She tries to change the subject. Lio shrugs.

“Yeah, it was decent.” 

“Playing Luca tonight will be fun.” 

“Yeah.” He says after swallowing his first bite of eggs, cheese and sausage. “Wish the back to back had been Kings first then the Ducks so we could have spent time with him and Liv.”

“That would be nice.” 

Silence settles over the room as the two of them start to eat. Lio tries to pretend it is comforting silence, but it isn’t. He doesn’t want to push his girlfriend, but at the same time, he doesn’t understand how she is sitting here like last night was… normal. A worried shake rolls through Lio’s body at the thought. He looks over at her again as he finishes up the final bite of his burrito. 

“I would like to talk about last night.” Savannah slowly chews on a piece of pineapple. She grabs her coffee, taking a sip, then sighing heavily.

“Okay.”

“You don’t want to?”

“No, I do. I know I’ve been putting this off.” Lio watches as she puts her plate on the bedside table. He contemplates for a moment, wondering what to even say next. His fingers find hers in her lap, lacing together as they share a look.

“I’m not trying to force you into telling me things you don’t want to. I only want to support you. But I can’t if I don’t know what we are facing, babe.” 

“I know.” She reaches over, cupping this neck, rubbing her thumb across his jaw. “I love that about you. That you’re asking and curious and… scared for me.” She whispers the last part, eyes brushing over his lips. 

“It’s hard not to be after last night. I’ve never… seen or I guess noticed this with you from before?”

“It wasn’t like this before.” She answers, still watching his mouth. Her blue eyes meet his. “It’s gotten a lot worse the last year. I had to end my Europe trip early last summer because of it.”

“I don’t really understand what you have, babe.” Lio shakes his head. 

“I have endometriosis. It’s been in my family for generations. My mom has it. My aunt has it. My grandma had it. My two female cousins have it. And I have it too.” She shrugs. “It is abnormal tissue that grows in places it shouldn’t. It can completely enclose ovaries and fallopian tubes and implant deep into your uterus, getting worse with every period that you have.”

“Tissue?” Lio says, surprised. He was almost expecting like lumps or something after what happened last night. “But that isn’t what they said last night.”

“Yeah, so last night I have an ovarian cyst, which can be more common with conditions like Endo. I’m lucky to have multiple issues.”

“Okay… so what have you tried for treatment?”

“Um, everything. Including surgery.” Savannah shrugs, pulling her hand away from his. Lio chases her as she pulls away, sliding his hand to her thighs to grip it comfortingly. “I had surgery three years ago to remove a bunch of tissue and lumps called fibroids in my uterus because I was in the ER every two weeks from how bad the pain was. It helped for a while. We found a good birth control pill that helped calm down the growth of the tissue, but my doctor told me there was always a possibility it would grow back.” She sighs, whimpering slightly. “And it’s back.” 

“Baby, we gotta go see someone else when we get home. You can’t have nights like last night every two weeks. It’s not good for you and how are you gonna work? You’ve worked so hard to get here.” His voice waivers at the end. He clears his throat, licking his lips. “Let’s work with the team to find a new doctor for you, okay?”

“Lee, I don’t want you to use who you are for me.” She furrows her eyebrows.

“Babe, I do. I want to use my name and my status and the team to get you the best doctors on the East Coast. And I’m gonna do it. But I need your blessing cause HIPPA or some shit.” He squeezes her hand. “Please, let me do this for you. There is better out there for you and we are going to find it. Get you some longer term solutions than a few years, okay?”

“I am willing to try, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up, okay? If they tell me the same things…” She trails off. Suddenly, she looks way, towards the window, her bottom lip quivering beneath her top teeth where she has tucked it into her mouth. Lio brushes her hair back behind her ear. 

“You’re so brave, baby. I’m so proud of you and in awe of what you’ve been living through.” He whispers, rubbing her cheek. He leans forward, placing his lips there and kissing his way to her mouth. His tongue glides along the seam of her lips, urging her to open them so he can have his way with her tongue. Savannah whimpers into his mouth, running her hands up his chest to grip his shoulders. 

“Lee.” She whispers when they pull away.

“Hm?” He rests his forehead against hers. 

“My condition means it is extremely unlikely I can ever get pregnant. And… you should know that about me before we go any further down this road.”

“I know. You told me in Switzerland. I also told you I didn’t want kids.”

“Yeah, but that was before we were… this.” Her eyes stay down towards the bed, unable to reach his even as he pulls away to try and see her fully. She rubs the comforter between her fingers in both hands. Tear drops hit the bed on either side of her hands. Lio can see the pain in her body even as she tries to hide it from him. 

“Sav.” She shakes her head. A shakey breath is inhaled then a sob wretches out of her throat.“Baby look at me.” He reaches for her hand, lacing their fingers together. Savannah is crying, silent tears falling down her face as her bottom lip trembles so hard.

“I can’t.” Lio maneuvers himself to his side, then drops his head onto her hands still fiddling with the comforter in her lap. Two of her tears hit his face as they drop off her chin.

“I love you.” He pauses, letting those words hang where they must between their bodies. “All of you. Your whole body and soul and spirit, baby. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“Lee, if you want babies you should find someone who can give you that. This isn’t fair to you.” Her voice shakes as she sobs the words out to him. Her eyes screw shut. Lio’s heart churns in sync with her pain.

“Savannah, trust me, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I’m broken. You deserve-“

“You are not broken.” His voice is gentle, almost a silent whisper to match the tone of her voice. His hands hold both of her cheeks now, keeping her from collapsing backwards and away from him. She grips his wrists. Snot collects in bubbles out of both of her nostrils. Tears stain her pale cheeks as Lio’s heart shatters in his chest for her. “You are whole, exactly as you are right now.” She shakes her head no.

“What man wants a woman like this?” 

“A real one.” He responds, then pushes up so he can kiss any remaining doubt from her lips.

[spaceagebachelormann]

𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔!

HOW TO REQUEST

— state the character, romantic or platonic, the format of the request, and what you want with it

— do you have any specifics for the reader? male, female, blonde, poc, etc?

— requests can be send through inbox or dms, but inbox is heavily encouraged!

— PLEASE ACTUALLY SPECIFY WHAT YOU WANT WITH YOUR REQUEST!! ITS VERY HARD FOT ME TO WRITE SOMETHING THAT JUST SAYS “_____ x reader fluff” WITH NO FURTHER EXPLANATION!! GIVE ME A PLOT LINE!!

WHAT I WILL WRITE:

platonic

romantic

familial

any gender x any gender

headcanons

poly relationships

sensitive topics

x reader

ships (canon or non-canon, so long as it’s not problematic)

i. i WILL write cheating, but not if a character is going it to the reader/another character. i’ll make someone comforting another person after being cheated on, but i won’t write finnick odair cheating on someone

same thing ^^ goes for homophobic, transphobic, ableist topics like that, and. well i guess the same goes for abuse?

WHAT I WONT WRITE:

smut (i’m 14)

yandere

incest

student x teacher

canonically gay character (ex: wylan van eck) x fem!reader for romantic requests

canonically lesbian character x male!reader for romantic requests

songfics (nothing against them, i just don’t know how!!)

things about ocs

ship fics

character list (more to come!)

❍ = easiest characters to write for

bolded — favourite characters to write for

KEEPER OF THE LOST CITIES

❍ sophie foster, ❍ dex dizznee, fitz vacker, ❍ keefe sencen, ❍ biana vacker, ❍ marellla redek, ❍ maruca chebota, tam song, linh song, ❍ wylie endal, ❍ jensi babblos, stina heks

CHRONICLES OF NARNIA

❍ peter pevensie, ❍ edmund pevensie, ❍ susan pevensie, ❍ lucy pevensie, mr tumnus, ❍ caspian, eustace scrubb, jill pole, shasta, aravis

RIORDANVERSE

❍ percy jackson, ❍ annabeth chase, ❍ grover underwood, ❍ jason grace, ❍ piper mclean, ❍ leo valdez, ❍ hazel levesque, ❍ frank zhang, nico di angelo, will solace, reyna arellano, rachel dare, ❍ travis stoll, ❍ connor stoll, thalia grace, magnus chase, ❍ alex fierro, carter kane, sadie kane, lester papadopolous, lavinia asimov

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

❍ christine daaé, ❍ raoul de chagny, erik destler, ❍ meg giry

p.s. i’ll write for the movie, musical, book and 1990 miniseries versions!!

HARRY POTTER

harry potter, ❍ hermione granger, ❍ ron weasley, ❍ luna lovegood, ❍ neville longbottom, ginny weasley, fred weasley, george weasley, ❍ sirius black, remus lupin, ❍ james potter, ❍ marlene mckinnon, mary macdonald, dorcas meadowes, lily evans

RIDE THE CYCLONE

ocean o’connell rosenberg, ❍ noel gruber, ❍ mischa bachinski, ❍ ricky potts, jane doe, penny lamb, ❍ constance blackwood

SHADOW AND BONE

❍ alina starkov, malyen oretsev, ❍ genya safin, ❍ zoya nazyalensky, david kostyk, erm others i accidentally deleted remind me to update this

SIX OF CROWS

kaz brekker, inej ghafa, ❍ jesper fahey, ❍ wylan van eck, nina zenik, matthias helvar

THE OUTSIDERS

ponyboy curtis, ❍ johnny cade, sodapop curtis, darry curtis, steve randall, ❍ twobit matthews, ❍ dallas winston

THE HUNGER GAMES

katniss everdeen, peeta mellark, ❍ finnick odair, ❍ johanna mason, marvel sanford, clove kentwell, cato hadley, ❍ cinna

IT (2017)

bill denbrough, eddie kaspbrak, richie tozier, ❍ stan uris, beverly marsh, ben hanscom, ❍ mike hanlon

THE SCHOOL FOR GOOD AND EVIL

❍ agatha of woods beyond, ❍ sophie of woods beyond, tedros of camelot, ❍ hort of bloodbrook, ❍ hester of ravenswood, ❍ anadil, ❍ dot, nicola, aric, rhian mistral, rafal mistral, leonora lesso, clarissa dovey

THE LAND OF STORIES

❍ alex bailey, ❍ connor bailey, ❍ red riding hood, ❍ jack, ❍ goldilocks, ❍ bree campbell

SCOOBY DOO

daphne blake, ❍ fred jones, shaggy rogers, velma dinkley

LITTLE WOMEN

❍ jo march, amy march, beth march, meg march, ❍ laurie

A GOOD GIRLS GUIDE TO MURDER

pippa fitz-amobi, ❍ ravi singh, naomi ward, ❍ cara ward, connor reynolds, ❍ jamie reynolds, nat da silva

THE MIGHTY DUCKS

❍ charlie conway, adam banks, ❍ lester averman, guy germaine, ❍ connie moreau, julie gaffney, ❍ ken wu, dean portman, luis mendoza, dwayne robertson, ❍ fulton reed

DRACULA

dracula, ❍ lucy westenra, mina harker, arthur holmwood, ❍ renfield, dr seward, abraham van helsing, ❍ quincey morris

FRANKENSTEIN

victor frankenstein, ❍ adam frankenstein, elizabeth lavenza, justine moritz, ernest frankenstein, henry clerval, the bride

DR JEKYLL AND MR HYDE

henry jekyll, ❍ edward hyde, ❍ richard enfield, gabriel utterson, hastie lanyon, lucy harris

MONSTER HIGH

gotta update this one guys,,,

THE BREAKFAST CLUB

john bender , ❍ claire standish, allison reynolds, brian johnson, andrew clark

THE POWERPUFF GIRLS

❍ blossom utonium, bubbles utonium, buttercup utonium , ❍ brick jojo, boomer jojo, butch jojo

DAVID BOWIE

❍ jareth, thomas jerome newton, david bowie

SWEENEY TODD

❍ sweeney, anthony hope, ❍ mrs lovett, johanna

THE ROSEWOOD CHRONICLES

lottie pumpkin, ellie wolf, ❍ jamie volk, ❍ ollie moreno, ❍ raphael wilcox, ❍ anastacia alcroft leblanc, saskia san martin, lola tomkins, mickey tomkins, binah fae

HAIRSPRAY

❍ corny collins, ❍ seaweed j stubbs, amber von tussle, tracy turnblad, penny pingleton, link larkin

MISC. CHARACTERS

sarah williams, ❍ bernard the elf, ❍ rodrick heffley, ❍ varian