#song I actually am obsessed w rn

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

Just so y’all know what the tiktok girlies are up to theyre shipping max goof and Bradley uppercrust the third from an extremely goofy movie. Yes there is fanart and comics

[noxtivagus]

the whole world of ffxiv is very dear to me

[just-jordie-things]

Hiiiii I love all your writing sooo much !!!!!!!!! Pls can you do No.26 with Yuta I am so obsessed with him rn..... the brainrot is too much

i'm obsessed w/ jealous kisses in party settings 26: Jealous Kiss **aged up characters!!** **cw: yuuta calls you a slut but it's in a hot way. also it's not full smut but this is smutty asf. i got quite carried away. this shit is delicious. ___

yuuta is so friendly. it was something that had attracted you to him when you first met, the way he'd gotten you both lost in conversation like you'd been old friends, how polite he was, you were drawn to him right away.

but you're realizing now that you were not the only recipient of this kindness.

"you're gonna break that cup"

you jolt from your frozen stupor, turning to look at yuuji, before looking down at the red plastic cup in your hands. it crinkled in your grip, parts of it jutting out at sharp angles that could snap the plastic if you kept it in the vice of your hand.

"oh" you mumble to yourself, relaxing your grip, before throwing back the drink and swallowing the bitter alcohol hard.

yuuji's eyes widened in astonishment at your bold displeasure. he'd come over to you because you were hanging out by yourself, and this was a party, so he thought he'd come keep you company. but as soon as he was within a few feet of you, he could practically feel rage emanating off of you in thick waves.

"you uh... you okay?" he asked as your jaw locked up, your teeth gritting together roughly.

you turned towards the pink haired boy again, your features brightening as you gave him a pleasant smile along with your attention. but the smile didn't reach your eyes. they remained hard, an anger buried in them that yuuji didn't understand but was frightened by.

"course i am," you say, your tone as chipper as your fraudulent smile. "it's a party"

you take another swig of your drink, yuuji's eyes following the jerky movement with concern.

"you just seem, uh, a little upset," he says, raising a hand to the back of his neck nervously. "did something hap-"

"you wanna dance with me?" you ask him suddenly, before he can finish his question.

he blinks, eyes wide in surprise, but yuuji's a good friend, and he supposes his intentions when he came over to you had been to make sure you were having a good time, so he nods back at you with a smile.

not needing more confirmation than that, you grab him by the hand and drag him into the living room where the music is the loudest.

coincidentally, you strut right past yuuta and whoever the chick was that he was talking to. you don't pay him any attention as you brush right past him, towing yuuji behind you, right on display.

you do, however, feel his eyes follow you as you walk off. they burn into the back of your head, but the sensation fades away quickly. you assume the glare is being targeted at your new dance partner, now.

yuuji's fun to dance with. you're kind of surprised when it turns out he actually has a sense of rhythym, and he also seems to know all the songs blasting through the speakers, singing along with glee while he twirls you under his arm and spins you around.

you've never really let loose like this, but your jealousy had mixed beautifully with the alcohol in your system and dancing seemed to be just what your body needed.

your hands run up your body, into your hair, throwing it to the top of your head before letting it fall as the beat you're feeling yourself to drops, and you even find yourself singing along with yuuji.

and poor yuuji, he thinks he's doing you a service with his company. he'd just thought you were bored at a party, and as a good friend was happy to dance with you if that's how you wanted to enjoy your time. he has no idea that when you press the front of your body into his and throw your arms around his neck that you're pretty much putting a mark on him. he thinks you're enjoying yourself! he thinks you're feeling the wonderful music of shakira as you grin up at him and roll your hips from side to side.

sure maybe he should have found the sensual move a little out of character for you, but it's shakira! and he can't argue that hips don't lie is a beat you just have to roll your body in tune with. so sure, he's matching your movements with his hands on your waist.

but his intentions are nothing but respectful! and honestly, yuuji's having genuine fun with you. he's never seen you so carefree before, you were always the reserved upperclassman he'd honestly been a little afraid of when he first met you. like maki, there was a confidence about you that told him you could be a force to be reckoned with. so to him, he was happy to get to know you better.

unbeknownst to him, yuuta was across the room with something buzzing through his bloodstream that he could only describe as violent. he didn't know yuuji all that well yet, but he didn't feel like he needed to know more than what he was seeing right now.

and right now, his girl was grinding her hips against yuuji's, while her hands carded through his undercut and then into the longer strands of pink hair.

when this little performance first began, yuuta tried to pay it no mind, and continue the conversation he'd been having with a girl from the kyoto school, but eventually his attention just couldn't be torn away from you, and he had to apologize to her before she walked off to the kitchen for another drink.

he'd remained glued to his spot at the wall with the other non-dancers and people trying to mingle, watching your every move as you danced with yuuji like you thought that was okay.

yuuta's not a possessive person- of course not! you weren't exactly his, perse, but he knew you had to admit that the lingering touches and longing eye contact had meant something. he knew that you knew there was something more than friendship between you- and now here you were twirling yourself under yuuji's arm, and pressing your back to his chest.

his last straw should've snapped long before now, but the slow drag of your hips, and ass, against yuuji was just far too much, and yuuta's moving before he can think through what he's even going to do when he gets to you both.

you turn again, throwing your head back as you belt out your favorite line of the song, and you miss the way yuuji's face is flushed from just how loose you'd let yourself become, because over his shoulder you see the holder of the attention you really craved coming towards you in fast strides.

your eyes meet over yuuji's shoulder, and you slither your hand across the back of yuuji's shoulder blades just because yuuta's clearly watching you now, before you turn your focus back to your dance partner.

you give him a wide grin, taking note of his pink cheeks and nervous smile.

"thanks for dancing with me," you say, still rolling your hips to the beat. "but i'm parched, so i'm gonna go"

yuuji nods back at you, and you stand on the tips of your toes to press a quick kiss to his cheek before heading off through the crowd. your eyes lock on yuuta's from across the room before you're heading for the stairs. he picks up his pace to follow you before you can escape from his sights.

the boy you left is standing still on the dance floor, completely lost by what had just happened, but hey, he wasn't complaining.

"you know you're gonna die, right?"

he jolts as he turns around, seeing maki behind him, nobara giggling under her arm.

"w-what?"

"yuuta's going to kiiil youuu~" nobara drunkenly sing-songs, sending maki into a fit of giggles too.

meanwhile, once you're upstairs, you're pushing into the first open door you can, finding yourself in the bathroom. you barely had time to catch your breath from your eager dancing before the door is swinging open again. not to your surprise, yuuta's entering the bathroom, too.

"yuuta!" you gasp in a mock-scolding tone, although a smirk of intrigue curls on your lips. "i could have been peeing!"

the door's shutting behind him with a swift kick of his foot and the loud slam make you jump a bit. however the slam of the door is nothing compared to your surprise when yuuta's towering over you, grabbing you by the waist in a fast, rough movement. your breath hitches in your throat, which is what makes you squeak when he's pressing you back against the sink's counter.

"what the hell was that?" he mutters in your face, and he's practically glowering down at you, but it's making you weak in the knees.

he's so close to you that your senses are flooded by him, the smell of his cologne and the rum on his breath wafting in your nose, and you have to fight to keep your eyes focused on his.

"what was what?" your voice lilts as you tease, fluttering your eyelashes at him.

it's safe to say he doesn't find it cute, or maybe he does. either way, he's lifting you by your hips and planting you on the counter, only to pull you close to it's edge. and either way, he's man handling you, and you're falling for it.

moving like it's second nature, you rest your arms around his shoulders. you want to run your hands in his hair, you want to grab him by his neck and kiss him fucking senseless, but you don't. you're too curious to see just how riled up you'd gotten him by dancing with yuuji, and so far you quite like where it's going.

"you know exactly what i'm fucking talking about" yuuta snaps back at you, his hands grabbing you by the thighs, tugging you again until you're chest to chest, your legs hooked at his hips.

you want to catch your breath, but you'd have to take in heavier breaths, and you don't want to give him the satisfaction of making you pant so easily.

"i don't think i do, yuu," you feign confusion as you peer up at him from under your lashes. "but you must've followed me for a reason"

you tilt your chin up at him as you present him with a sweet smile that he wants to wipe off your smug face.

his hands grip tight at your thighs in an attempt to channel his anger, but as he leans into you, only to stop before giving you what you wanted, he can't help but run them up your legs and back to your hips.

a small whimper dies in your throat as you try to tilt forward enough to kiss him, but one of his hands snatches you by the nape of your neck, drawing you back before you could be successful.

your brows furrow as you pout.

"you grind on yuuji and expect me to kiss you?"

you smirk up at him with pride.

"so you are jealous," you muse. "i wasn't so sure,"

yuuta's fingers twitch and flex against your waist.

"yuuta, i would've happily danced with you," you tell him, fluttering your lashes again, just to be a tease, just to remind him again of why he was really here. "but you were so busy with that girl, and yuuji was there, and, well, he was more than happy to keep me company-"

"if you don't stop fucking talking about itadori i swear to god (y/n) i'll-"

"you'll what?" you ask breathlessly, your eyes glittering with excitement, and mischief. your pupils are blown wide as you stare up at him, and goddamnit you're so pretty when you're acting so needy for him.

yuuta hates this game, he really, really does, but if he gave in to you this easily, how would you learn your lesson?

"so what, i talked to one person and you think it's okay to be act like a slut with the underclassmen?"

"you were being a slut first" you mumble back pathetically.

"well for the record, that girl was asking for maki's number. she's gay," yuuta tells you, and now your face feels hotter than before, because that little piece of information made this whole thing a little embarassing. maybe more than a little. "and while we're on that record, you're not allowed to dance like that with anyone. ever"

he mutters it into your ear, warm breath fanning over your neck in such a blissful sensation that you're shutting your eyes and rolling your head back lazily.

"okay" you breathe out, compliant to any instruction he had for you.

"and after this, you're not going to talk to itadori for the rest of the night" yuuta says, ghosting his lips over the side of your neck.

despite trying to keep some of your resolve, you can't keep your hands from grabbing his shoulders, gripping onto them for dear life.

"okay" you repeat, your chest rising and falling as you try desperately to catch your breath that you hadn't had control of since you'd gotten to this bathroom.

"you're going to stay right with me for the rest of the night, since clearly you need someone to keep an eye on you"

he punctuates his last rule by pressing his open mouth against the side of your throat, kissing and sucking at your skin slowly. you hum through a soft moan, feeling your heart beat in your ears at the new sensation.

when yuuta deems the mark on your neck warning enough to itadori and the rest of the party-goers that had watched your little display of a dance, he pulled away.

your hooded eyes meet his for only a moment before he's slamming his lips into yours. you both moan at the sudden impact, and your hands finally grab at his neck, pulling him further, further against you until your legs are crossed at the ankles around his hips, and he's making you lean back with how his tall stature towers over you.

between heated kiss you're panting for breath, moaning in pleasure as the tension that had been growing between you finally, finally snapped. one of his hands is tangled in your hair, keeping your lips firmly on his, not that you'd ever pull away from his intoxicating mouth, and the other is pushing up the hem of your shirt so that he can grip the bare skin of your hip.

he bites experimentally at your bottom lip, smiling to himself with satisfaction as you moan into his mouth, your hips stuttering up against his. he rolls his tongue over the now sensitive plump of your lip before he's pulling your hips into his again, grinding into you shamelessly.

"yuuta~" his name rolls off your tongue in a moan so pretty you have him whimpering into your mouth, before he's reaching to tilt your head back so he can deepen your kiss further.

yuuta licks his way into your mouth with abandon, dominating over yours before you could even try to return the favor. he maps out your mouth like he's a lost man, and when he pulls away, there's a lewd string of saliva connecting your mouths.

he takes a proper look at you now, at your rocking hips, your heaving chest, disheveled hair, swollen lips, and finally, when you open your eyes, he thinks your blown pupils and heavy eyelids have him at another loss of air.

you give him a lazy, drunken smile, before you're fisting the material of his shirt to pull him in close again. you prod your nose against his before giving him a long, slow kiss. your hands relax against his chest, before smoothing down his abdomen. you just barely ghost over the bulge in his pants before he's pulling out of your kiss and tugging you against him before your hands can wander further.

you pout up at him prettily, and he can't believe what he's about to say.

"not here," he mumbles into your mouth, before stealing a kiss. "later"

you whine into his mouth as you chase his lips before he could go too far. you're making it hard on him, that's for sure, but this whole thing started because you clearly get a kick out of making him suffer over you, so this shouldn't come as a surprise to him.

"we should go back," he sighs into your mouth, sloppy kissing you with his open mouth.

your hands are pulling at the hem of his shirt, before they explore the skin underneath. he's shuddering under your touch, and it takes a great effort to remind himself of why he can't hook up with you right here in this bathroom. who's house was his again?

your fingertips drag over every inch of his skin as you nibble playfully on his bottom lip. he hums in pleasure at the feeling, understanding now why you had seemed to like it so very much.

did he lock the door when he'd come in here?

"fuck- okay- we have to-" he tries to the best of his ability to pull his lips off of yours, but they're addicting. rum and cherry flavored, soft, hot. "baby- we have to go back"

you sigh in irritation, but ultimately give in as you lean back, your back hitting the mirror behind you. yuuta's also huffing as he begrudgingly pulls his hands off of your hips.

you look at each other for a minute, taking in the other's swollen mouth and blown pupils. you both know if you leave the bathroom like this, everyone will know exactly what happened.

(you forget that the love bite he'd left on your neck is damning evidence enough)

your legs are shaky when you finally slide off the counter, but yuuta's arm is a firm presence around your hips as he pulls you out of the bathroom, keeping you completely tucked against his side.

it seems all of your peers' eyes are on you as you both make your way down the stairs. the rest of the party is in full swing, but those who know the both of you follow your movements with wide eyes and open jaws.

you pay them no mind, whispering into yuuta's ear to let him know just how much you'd like to dance with him now. your lips brush his earlobe before you plant a kiss at the spot on his neck just underneath it. yuuta agrees to the offer instantaneously.

however unbeknownst to you, his eyes are focused on a certain pink haired boy that was staring right back at him.

yuuji swallowed nervously while yuuta let you press a sweet trail of kisses down his neck, blissfully unaware of yuuji's watchful eyes- you were blissfully unaware of anyone in the room. the younger boy could see the red and purple mark on your neck and he'd known exactly that it's purpose had been served as soon as he saw it.

he was quick to find megumi and leave the room to hang out in another part of the house. he was too afraid of the warning looks yuuta would send him while he danced with you.

but of course you were happily lost in the feeling yuuta's hands on your hips as he followed the push and flow of your body rocking to the beat.

and poor yuuji spent the rest of the night thinking he was hiding from yuuta, when in reality the two of you left that party after only one dance, feeling your tension would be better released in the privacy of your car. ____

a/n" y'all i got CARRRIED AWAYYY JESUSCHRIST also i can't write smut i'm too awkward at it but if anyone wants to make a smutty second part to this or their own smutty rendition of this PLS do and PLS tag me bc. like. i need it now. i had hips don't lie on repeat for so long while i wrote this bc it was just too good for the move and the tension.

xoxo ~ jordie

[thelilylav]

Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)

List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long

Rock:

Los Abuelos De La Nada

Gesu No Kiwami Otobe

Chuck Berry

Ben E. King

Los Prisoneros

Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)

Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)

Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)

People in the Box

N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)

Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):

Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)

Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)

BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)

Indie:

The Younger Lovers

Mashrou Leila

Stella Jang

Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)

Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)

Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)

Nujabes

Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)

Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)

Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)

boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)

Wallice

JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):

Idris Muhammad

Esperanza Spalding

Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)

SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)

Sade (my og one and only)

Funk:

Fadoul

George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)

Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)

Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)

Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)

R&B:

Valerie June

Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)

Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)

Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)

Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)

SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)

Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)

Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)

Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)

Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)

Sister Sledge

Cheryl Lynn

Reggae:

Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)

Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)

Manu Chao

Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)

Folk:

Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)

Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)

Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)

Pop:

Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)

Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)

Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)

Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)

Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)

Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)

Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)

Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)

Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)

Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)

Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)

Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)

flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)

El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)

Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)

King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)

Salsa:

Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)

Adalberto Santiago

Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)

Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)

City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):

Mariya Takeuchi

Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)

Anri

Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)

Kaoru Akimoto

Kingo Hamada

Jun Togawa

Bossa Nova:

Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)

Elizeth Cardoso

Johnny Alf (forgot this man the first time around my bad BUT he's called the father of bossa nova for a reason so)

Hip Hop:

Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)

Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)

Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)

Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)

Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)

Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)

Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)

Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)

XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)

Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)

Renaissauce (criminally and i do mean CRIMINALLY underrated)

[anothermansjeans]

idk how you feel about songfics but i’m obsessed w tswift’s dbatc rn and i’m just thinking about spencer reid having a secret relationship that he leaves bc he’s afraid his so will be killed by an unsub but his so is like a local singer and garcias a huge fan and is like omg this song is so beautiful and sad happy ending or angst ending doesn’t matter i just think that song encompasses how i would feel if i loved and lost reid sorry for rambling anywayyy

i am a woman on a mission and ik you just requested this but as soon as i saw it i got immediate inspo

i also have a hotch x reader fic called death by a thousand cuts BUT i had to do this one as well 🫶 also i’m so sorry if it’s shit i’m so tired lmaoooo

I Can’t Pretend It’s Okay When It’s Not

spencer reid x fem!reader

When Penelope gushed about a local musician she absolutely adores playing at the cafe she visits frequently and forced the entirety of the BAU team to tag along, she forgot to mention what Spencer would deem the most important piece of information— her name.

At first, when they walked into the coffee shop already a couple songs in due to the team's later arrival (much to Penelope’s dismay), Spencer wasn’t completely aware of the angelic voice completing beautiful melodies. His main focus being on getting coffee into his system asap, while he was up at the counter, he tuned it out almost completely— again, almost. The moment he heard her speak was a completely different story.

“Um, so this is a new song…” the woman on the small five inch high stage started, “I actually wrote it a couple weeks ago after a very… difficult time in my life… a time I’m still actually going through, but I hope you guys have it in your heart to give it a listen with open minds. This is Death by a Thousand Cuts.”

Spencer slowly walked back over to the team, eyes wide and fixed on the woman he believes is the love of his life. The only problem being he has no right to call her his anymore.

Soft strumming of the guitar began, with low my’s being sung, and he heard a soft gasp come from his left. “Oh, this is gonna hurt,” Penelope said, one hand placed on her chest while the other hugged around her body.

“Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk, but it's not enough

'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

Chandelier's still flickering here

'Cause I can't pretend it's ok when it's not

It's death by a thousand cuts”

Not even a minute in and Spencer feels as though he’s been stabbed through the heart. It’s difficult hearing it from her perspective. When he made the decision to end what they had, it was out of protection— it was so that she wouldn’t have to deal with the burdens of his job.

“I dress to kill my time

I take the long way home

I ask the traffic lights if it'll be all right

They say, "I don't know"

And what once was ours is no one's now

I see you everywhere

The only thing we share

Is this small town”

“You said it was a great love

One for the ages

But if the story's over

Why am I still writing pages?”

Spencer thinks back to their love story, back to when it began and the blissful moments, the rendezvous’, and the unasked questions about why they only ever had real dates inside and why no one on the team or anyone with any semblance of importance in Spencer’s life knew of them.

He thinks back to how happy she was, and how she was content with just being with him. How when her eyes lit up the first time he said he loved her, but also the dim the second he ended things.

He thinks about the nightmares he thought were over. How instead of Maeve being the victim it was now her. How if it wasn’t for those nightmares, the onslaught of “what-if’s” wouldn’t plague his mind. How if he had a less dangerous job, a job that didn’t take every ounce of life or happiness out of him, he would and could still be with her.

And as he thinks of these things, he suddenly becomes aware of the blazing eyes that had locked with his, and a tiny gasp is heard from the microphone before she starts playing with more vigor.

“My heart, my hips, my body, my love

Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch

Gave up on me like I was a bad drug

Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club

Our songs, our films, united we stand

Our country, guess it was a lawless land

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

Paper cut stings from our paper thin plans”

It hurt. So much. And it was clear it wasn’t only him because each word she sang was aimed to puncture him. The tears brimming in her eyes were also evident. To anyone else, her words are curated from past

memories from someone who hurt her, but to Spencer, it was a message. A message that every single part of their relationship was taken into account while writing this song. A message that everything they’ve ever said or done had been tainted with the memory of him leaving her with no explanation.

“My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust

Trying to find a part of me you didn't take up

Gave you too much but it wasn't enough

But I'll be all right, it's just a thousand cuts”

He watches as she screws her eyes shut, and the sharpness of her words becomes duller as she sings on. He knew he fucked up the moment he walked out of her apartment the night he ended it, but he has never regretted it more than now. He misses her. He misses smiles, the laughter, the unconditional love that radiates from her. He would do anything to get that back.

He doesn’t realize he’s standing there, staring at her in awe mixed with sadness until applause is heard throughout the cafe and Penelope lets out a small “so sad and and beautiful,” while wiping under her eyes. He also doesn’t realize that after she announces a small break that he was walking up to her in a daze, the entire team behind him eyes wide with shock.

He also doesn't realize the first words he speaks to her are what they both longed to hear between the two for weeks.

“I miss you so much.”

She’s shocked to say the least. She’s completely speechless to the point where he begins to speak again due to the lack of words on her side.

“I’m an idiot— I’m, I’m so stupid. You’d think with an IQ of 187 I would be able to not make decisions like leaving the one woman I love the most in the world. Y/N, I swear I thought I was keeping you safe because with me and my job, that’s not always a guarantee, but listening to you and what you’re going through, I can’t— I know it wasn’t the right thing to do—”

“Spencer,” she finally cut him off, placing her hand on his arm and shifting her eyes to the people behind him who had been standing with him. “Later, okay? You can tell me everything later when we aren’t surrounded by a bunch of people.” The look in her eyes was genuine, but there was still hurt swimming in them. He wanted to say something, anything to ease it, but before he could open his mouth she grabbed the acoustic guitar and gave him a small smile. “And I miss you too,” she said before walking back up on the small platform and adjusting her mic.

While introducing her next song, Spencer slowly made his way back to the group who were going to ask the inevitable questions, but that didn’t stop the small smile from making its way to his lips, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, they won’t have to pretend to be okay anymore.

[sophaeros]

I think I'm hf in the exact same thing as you rn I just found your blog I am also obsessed with band rpf and Casablanca's/hammond jr do u have a kind of manifesto or anything I can read

dude did one of my irls send this or smth..i was literally Just talking about putting together a masterdoc and they were egging me on BSJFJWBS. i mean i'm kinda working on one but no promises bc im terrible w long term projects and also theyre very difficult to figure out

BUT i Will say (and i've seen other random people online agree w me) i think the general timeline is that during the seven years they lived together from 1998 to 2005 jules was down bad for albert but albert didn't realise his own feelings, so the most that might've happened is some fooling around physically. (this is mainly going off of this page from the meet me in the bathroom book where jules says "albert, you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, baby!" insane quote. i could talk a little more about their full quotes but that's another post)

sometime between 2005 and 2013 (possibly 2011 tbh, comedown machine is The gay situationship album but angles touches on it a lot too) they dated twice and broke up both times. im not sure who broke up w who but tentatively i would say the first breakup was more acrimonious while the second breakup might've been mutual.

it's difficult to say anything for sure because most of their songs have songwriting credits shared with other people, so looking at lyrics for clues has a pretty big margin of error since a line might've been written by someone else and not them, yknow? i mean rpf is never a "for sure" kind of deal i could be entirely wrong and that would be fine but. you get what i mean

also one way trigger is the lynchpin for me. i physically cannot imagine a platonic explanation for this poster that uses a screenshot from thelma and louise of all films. not to mention the lyrics like even my Mom raised an eyebrow at "get dressed in your bed while she's asleep." and also it's one of two strokes songs albert has ever played solo with the other being elephant song (at least according to setlistfm, im still trying to find a video of it) (edit 12/08/2034: setlistfm lied to me he did not play elephant song 💔💔💔💔) which was written, surprise surprise, by albert and julian in 1999.

i mean i guess the poster could be them fucking around and having a little laugh but come on what an insane ass joke to make man. i'm gonna make a post later about one way trigger being their specialest little song because it really is

soo like..theres still more i could talk about like one way trigger being written by the albert julian nick trio (which makes me laugh imagining nick mediating their lovers quarrel) [EDIT: ACTUALLY WAIT NO ok it's hard to find definitive information on who wrote what bc different databases have information of varying precision but the canadian site socan which is the most precise so far says only albert and jules wrote the lyrics for one way trigger i'd misremembered. albert julian nick trio Did do call it fate tho which is still kinda crazy !! also jules and albert being the only ones to do one way trigger makes me crazier jesus christ why is this depressing ass song Their Song !!!!] which is the same trio as games from angles. theres a lot i've been thinking about them nonstop for like, what, a month? give or take? my poor friends have to deal w me sending dozens of messages at a time much love and light to them if they read this muah

and thank you for the excuse to be insane on main anon 🥰

[osarina]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the person whose vibe LITERALLY. encapsulates what hozier writes songs ABOUT <3 (IN THE BEST WAY) !! & DAZAI’S GIRL OFCC; miss carina i hope you’ve had the MOST fantastic day already & this year ‘n on treats you SO SO WELL 🫂🖤 truly u’ve shaken the bsd fandom on here w ur writing & in general such a wonderful person, ENJOY EVERYTHING TONS, fyodor & i showed up w/ the presents to spoil u 🙂‍↕️ (he is forced to pay back what he owed both u & dazai) & i’m giving you another pair of pearl earrings BCZ LOL WE R literally twinning rn i only wear those too !!

if it’s not too much pls do give a little synopsis/scenario excerpt to the BIRTHDAY COMM bcz i am still in awe glancing at it HAHAHAHA

finally, the next time i’ll pop in your inbox i’ll b there to finally express completing waterloo !! srry i am so behind on the bandwagon but it’s only bcz i have put off completing the actual BSD BEAST 😞 i paused halfway thru so i wouldn’t b spoiled, i shall get the courage to do both tho JDJSJ for u; you will get an entire essay no doubt

& GOODLUCK IN UNI SOON TOO !! i start for the first time as well rly soon so i’m hoping this year treats us well & perhaps a lanky brunette man comes along (forces himself into our life) in need of saving on a stormy day ;) LOVE YOU RINA HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN !! ᰔ

REV I'M SIMPLY GOING TO CRY YOU'RE THE SWEETEST EVER, YOU LITERALLY HAVE ME SMILING SO BIG AND MY CHEST FEELS ALL WARM AND FUZZY I LOVE U SM <3333

im giggling imagining fyodor and dazai side-eyeing each other while we sit together chatting, we would both have to keep them in line so they don't start acting up. AND OMGGGG YOU'RE ALSO A PEARL GIRLIE??? i got my first pair from my grandma and ive been obsessed with them since jdfasuhfasfhu i love pearl jewelry

HAHAHAHAHH THE BDAY COMM IM STILL GIGGLING OVER IT - so its set in my pm au actually ihfsuihfauhduf the one ive been writing for a while on here (wykyk) except that i hc that its like a non-canon one where oda didn't die and dazai never left the pm. so dazai & i were pining for like literally 3 years since we were sixteen and then not long before my 19th bday, we finally officially got together. and chuuya was SOOOO sick of it like he's been dealing with both of our dumbasses for 3 years refusing to get together but still blatantly pining for each other. so when we finally got together, he's like UGH finally, but then he realizes that it's worse because we're even MORE insufferable now that we're together. so the comm is set during my 19th bday we're going out for the night and dazai is being dazai and chuuya is SOOOO sick of it but this is the one night he can't say anything so he's just forced to sit there and deal with it LOLLLLL

OMGGGGGG I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO FINISH BEAST AND UU!!!!! i dont blame you for putting it off HAHAHHH the end is so heartwrenching like literally whenever i feel like i need a good cry, i go back to reread beast HAHAHH

AHHHHHH OMG YOU'RE STARTING YOUR FIRST YEAR OF UNI??? THAT'S SO EXCITING!!!! good luck sweet rev, i know you're going to kill it!! if you ever need advice or to just vent about uni, my inbox is always open, i get it 100% - uni can be so stressful but at the same time it's so nice. im dreading my classes starting up again but ive missed everyone there so it will be nice to see them again

THANK YOU AGAIN LOVELY <333 I ADORE YOU

[agustdiv1ne]

here are my thoughts about each song that absolutely nobody asked for but i don't care 🤣

ok GROWING PAINS??? THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN I'M FALLING TO MY KNEES I'M WAILING BC THIS SONG IS EVERYTHING TO ME. i loveee rock music and this is also reminds me a little of what i used to listen to when i was in the deepest trenches of my middle school emo phase (and continue to listen to bc my emo phase never truly left me),, THE GROWL. BEOMGYU FUCKING GROWLED. ME WHEN. ME WHEN. ME WHEN. *INSERT WEREWOLF MEME* i am just. obsessed. absolutely Obsessed. ALSO YEONJUN'S HIGH NOTE????? ACTUALLY FUCK OFF I'M ON THE FLOOR

chasing that feeling is very 80s new wave and it is Everything to me. i could go over everything in the mv but i'm j gonna focus on the song for now. i love the route they took for the tt, it's very like. dreamy? to me?? and laid back and yet it sounds like it would be part of some action movie????? like hero training scene montage and BOOM CHASING THAT FEEEEELINGGG in the background idk...the synths are making me ascend i swear to whatever is above whoever added those synths in the instrumental deserves the best fucking head of their lives. beomgyu opening fairy, bro always makes sure to EAT THAT OPENING BROOO I LOVE HIM. AND THEN TYUN HIGH NOTE WOOOOOOOOO that Healed me...and hyuka's "come and kiss me" YEAH. YEAHHHH. can u tell i'm obsessed w this tt yet???? i need it tattooed onto my ear drums right now

DREAMER MF DREAMERRRR BROOOOOOOOOO i've been waiting for an rnb song like this from them since 20cm i fucking swear. and this just. BLEW ME OUT OF THE WATER,, their falsettos are so mf pretty esp soobin's like his voice was just made for this song bro. i swear. and then we got beomgyu's falsetto too?????? wow. wowowowow. i need more rn. AND THEN YEONJUN BROO CAME IN W THE "LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU" AND I'M DYING. LIKE ACTUALLY DYING PLS DO NOT RESUSCITATE

ahahaha deep down is like. so chill and i loveee the beat omfg. like this is a song that i am going to play when i go on late night car rides, bass boosted n everything bc the beat. the BEAT. i need it injected into my veins immediately,, def not like. my fav off this album but i still enjoyed it ^^

ok happily ever after has me in a chokehold rn. i'm being so serious. it's so fun and catchy it's like a little earworm that i can't get out of my head!!!! it makes me wanna dance and sing and AHHHHH. the beginning "oh ma gawd" that was so cute...def my pick me up song bc it's so cute n fun n i definitely didn't expect to like it as much as i do <3 the power of txt <3333 LIFE IS NOT A FAIRYTALE!!!! also soobin's falsetto got me again i'm ascending yet again my friends...i feel like this song is encapsulated by the ✨️ emoji pls don't ask me to elaborate.

SKIPPING STONES. MY ABSOLUTE FAV OFF THIS ALBUM. THERE IS NO COMPETITION I FEAR.....it's very reminiscent of music i'd listen to while growing up esp the songs my dad would share with me...idk why but that connection just makes this song so much more special to me. also sounds kinda like a day6 song and as someone who loves day6 i needed this!! i love the rock influences so fucking much guys i am so obsessed with this song,,,, i need more songs like this immediately. asap. ALSO hyuka's high note. guys. guys. what the fuck. he is such a talented man i cannot rn

as if i could forget about blue spring — when i told u i started crying??? yeah, i started crying right when it started playing. i love them so fucking much u don't understand 😭😭😭 idk why they autotuned my men like that towards the end tho,, but yeah. this will be my official crying song for the foreseeable future 😁

and then. chasing that feeling english version??? hello????? i typically don't enjoy english versions too much but this one is so good omg. i def like the og more but i did enjoy it and it was a nice lil surprise!!!!

i could keep writing more but i will leave it at that. i'm sorry if u read this far u deserve financial compensation for being so strong

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

oooof ask for hozier recs and i shall deliver!! i've been obsessed with him i fear...

my personal rn is probably Too Sweet, but my most played song of 2023 was All Things End. beautifully moving (as in i was sobbing for the entire song the first time i heard it), i just adore the way he describes love.

more personal favorites: Through Me (this song is insane actually!! can't describe it with words.), From Eden (one of the best love songs i've ever heard), Angel of Small Death (soo insanely addictive, his voice in this one ugh) and Movement (soft and beautiful and the very first song of his that I heard). The Eat Your Young EP is a wonder in itself but tbh so is everything else,,,,

now for some specifically sugu coded songs: Through Me and All Things End, Who We Are from his last album (the lyrics... my days the lyrics are so beautiful), Blood Upon the Snow!! (written for God of War Ragnarok, it's so good ??), Almost (Sweet Music) (be still my foolish heart, don't ruin this on me ✊😔)

but like i said, every time i hear a Hozier song it's sugu coded in my head... the lyrics always make sense to me. the way they're always so poetically romantic, yet in many of them there's a lingering pain underneath, wether it's because the love is already gone or because the love is simply way too much for just one heart to handle... i'm not okay.

fun fact, i once fell asleep listening to him and dreamt that it was suguru singing... and you know what it makes so much sense, i'll take it.

this got kinda long i'm sorry :(( anyways i hope you have a great day/night

(perhaps i shall write a lil' sugu thing inspired by too sweet)

NOE !!!! finally getting to this……. thank you so much for the recs!!! 🥺🥺 i appreciate it sm…… putting some of my thoughts under the cut hehe

I LOVE TOO SWEET . SO MUCH. it was the first song of his i listened to and wowwwwwww does it go hard….. so catchy and good and just. augh. IT’S SO SUGUCODED TO ME…. esp depression era sugu….. the lyrics are just gorgeous and so him. “but while in this world // i think i’ll take my whiskey neat // my coffee black and my bed at three // you’re too sweet for me”…. :’3 my baby

FROM EDEN IS SUCH A BOP . i loveee the instrumental ……. AND THE LYRICS . ”honey you’re familiar like my mirror years ago // idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword” <- BANGERRRR I CRIED . i am thinking many knight sugu thoughts ngl…. “i slithered here from eden just to sit outside your door” THINKING MORE SUGU THOUGHTS but specifically cult leader sugu …. aughhh 😔😔

angel of small death & the codeine scene……… tell me why this one made me so insane . such a tasty title and instrumental and lyrics i’m just????? i feel this way abt all of these but this one is so sugucoded too 😭 “freshly disowned in some frozen devotion”…. that’s our guy <333

EAT YOUR YOUNG IS SO CRAZY GOOD OUGHH….. i love love loveeee the “seven new ways that you can eat your young” part 😵‍💫😵‍💫 soso addicting. the lyrics are great and his voice is just soooo……. i don’t even know . i’m a little obsessed . “it’s quicker and easier to eat your young”…….. hhhhhhhhHH very sugucoded too ofc . any mention of eating is automatically a sugu reference 🙏

movement is super catchy !!!!! kinda relaxing too…… very soft. i rlly like the chorus :33 gives me waltz vibes…… kinda haunting…….

all things end + through me are soso pretty!!!! goshhhh his voice is nice……. i love the final part of all things end!!! w the synchronized clapping!!!!! so good …. and the lyrics for through me are so tasty . “with each grave, i think of loss // and i can only think of you // and i couldn’t measure it”…….. nomnom

ohhhhhh who we are is so beautiful :(((( his voice sounds so tender ….. i def get the sugu vibes here too!!!!! the feeling of something important slipping through your fingers …. “this phantom life, it sharpens like an image // but it sharpens like a knife” 😵‍💫😵‍💫 vert tasty . very sugu.

I’VE HEARD BLOOD UPON THE SNOW BEFORE BC OF RAGNAROK….. godddd it’s so. chillingly beautiful. the instrumental scratches my brain just right …… and the LYRICS . “too all things housed in her silence // nature offers a violence”….. “the parent forced to eat its young before i grows”…… it’s very . Raw . i like it a lot :3

AND FINALLY….. almost (sweet music). SO GOOD. i adore this instrumental and vibe so much + the lyrics are obv super pretty….. “i laugh like me again — she laughs like you”…… i love how light this one sounds in comparison to some of the other ones!!! a summer song for sure… a lil bittersweet….. and the chorus is literally SO addicting i can’t stand it……. BUT YES THIS ONE IS SO VERY SUGU. NOE. IM TEARING UP 😭😭 “be still my foolish heart // don’t ruin this on me”…. the idea of sugu thinking this…. maybe an au where he slowly recovers after his almost-defection….. or a childhood friends to lovers au…… i dunno. but my brain is spinning. i love him :(((((((

PHEWWW THOSE WERE GOOD . i love his voice sm….. i think my favs out of these options are too sweet, almost (sweet song), from eden and maybeeee angel of sweet death/eat your young…. but they were all super catchy :’3 thank you sm for these recs noe… sugu has invaded my brain

[peacockrulz]

dont say sorry we love the paragraphs!! tbh i cant stand a lot of md fanfics because of how they characterize uzi in particular, they just do not do her depth justice. and you're so right about the narration too. its so subtle but a lot of great fics go above and beyond to take narration from just describing the world to actually representing a characters perspective- literally and figuratively. hostile takeover is a masterclass in it tbh. its actually inspired me to try and get into writing for md because you need to be the content you want to see in the world ig- im starting with rp rn though because i find that to be the easiest way to get into a characters head, ya know? also your dollxn piece made me physically ill (positive). im shipping them now but exclusively in the way your fanart is framing it (also great song choice listening to it and staring at the art really sent me) - juzi anon

I think a good narration is like, an unspoken art when it comes to writing. I LOVE fics that make a point to have the characters thoughts be a part of the narration; It speaks volumes to how that person write the character themself and can even make for some really impactful dialog thats not even spoken. I think the biggest strength of Hostile Takeover (from the chapters I've read!) is its ability to make a character's narration show the subtle, unseen things about the characters themselves. (Which is why I love J's chapters so much, J puts up such a large persona that being able to read the thoughts she actually has is so!!! arugh!!!!!)

Also: I'm glad to see you taking an inspiration for writing, I've honestly thought many a time to force myself into writing fics just because theres so many ideas I have that I do not have the time or skill to illustrate lol. I actually started posting artwork because I wanted to see more fanart for my own rarepair!!! And I can understand the whole roleplaying thing (I haven't roleplayed canon characters since my.. *shudders* MMO days /j) I grew up on roleplaying and still do on occasion! (OCs I mean haha) I think its a great stepping stone to writing full blown chapters and stuff, all about practice or whatever!!

oh and: I'm glad you liked that piece lmao. N x Doll is one of those ships I thought about for 2 seconds and went "wait no I get it.". I've honestly thought about making more art of it just because its left such a impact on my skull. (ITs... the only enemies to lovers you could HAVE with N canonically w/o messing w/ his character and i am OBSESSED)

[b0rtney]

@rainbowrider1290 tagged me in a music post!! ty bestie!!!

🎶✨️when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)🎶✨️

somebody to love by queen (i am obsessed w this rn for some reason lol)

american healtchare (glitzy) by penelope scott

take me to war by the crane wives

absence by rio romero (SO FUN TO SING ALONG TO ANY RIO ROMERO SONG AHHH MY BELOVED)

and swallowed in the sea by coldplay <33333

i have no coherent taste in music and im convinced the ppl who do are faking it to seem like a more homogenized personality.

i will tag @pendragon1996 @virisable @werewolfetone @shellofwonder @demondamage @sassybooks @bestrongbebrave49 and @electrinsomnia

[miidnighters]

get to know the mun.☺

what's your phone wallpaper: it's one of our wedding photos lmao

last song you listened to: weatherman by zach hood

currenly reading: I am actually not reading anything rn? I paused one of my poirot books halfway thru and I have an elsie silver book waiting but

last movie: I like. never watch movies anymore? like the answer is the eras tour movie but something with a plot? we don't know her

last show: I watched some leverage w my dad recently. rewatching criminal minds again. mostly we've been watching youtube

what are you wearing right now?: like, three layers of clothes and bedsocks and a balnket

how tall are you?: 5'4, apparently. 162.5 cm

piercings / tattoos?: I have 14 tattoos and 12 piercings (I used to have more rip my nose, tongue and nips but had to take them out for surgery). 6 of the piercings are in my earlobes tho so it's not actually that impressive

glasses / contacts: Iam supposed to wear glasses while I'm on the computer but....

last thing you ate?: I just ate a strawberry iced donut lmao

favourite colour: lemon/sunshine yellow!

current obsession: I'm about to watch bridgerton s3 so

do you have a crush right now?: I do and it's terminal (i'm married and it's on my husband)

favourite fictional character: I have always had THE softest spot for Anne Shirley, ever since I first read the books at like 8 or 9 years old

last place you travelled: I'm guessing my regular trips to the coast don't count so I think it would have been going north to Cairns to see my husband's family? we're going again this year for my younger brother-in-law's eighteenth

TAGGED BY: @whileurmine TAGGING: @sorrowsick | @epistrefei | @draconisa | @platiinums | @vitalphenomena

[kamiversee]

oooOOH okay - the way i forgot abt the songs BUT i'm gonna have to straight up make a playlist for these men (as if i don't do the same thing when i'm writing anywaysss)

incoming YAP SESH

so when you mentioned it in the last chapters, i immediately went back listened to 'sober' [childish gambino] BUT i forgot abt 'die for you' [the weeknd] sooooo he's a mini gojo analysis for that song for all my fellow gojo girlies (RAAA):

'i just can't say i don't love you / cause i love you'

this one is obvi lmao the way bro is like "hey btw i LOVE you" every chance he gets

'you hate that you want me'

bro literally says this almost verbatim when he's like "you shouldn't care abt me" but also "it's not a crime [to miss me] love" (ch45)

'i would die for you / i would lie for you ... i would kill for you'

REALLY seein the references to this one in chapter 45 lmao when he's like "i've done worse, for you" and he's said SOOO many times that he'd do anything for you and is explicitly like "the person i am around you now is not the person who fell in love with you"

so here's where i might be wayyy off base again but - what if the list started bc of something gojo tried to do for you, to show how much he cared about you? so like order of events:

years ago, gojo does something bad (ex: hurting someone, manipulating people in your life he views as "bad") in the name of helping you -> sukuna either catches him or he needs sukunas help -> sukuna uses this info to blackmail satoru

the deal for the blackmail is that you either have to complete this list that's made to hurt gojo so badly by punishing the woman he loves AND turns her against him (which is why gojo is so set on the fact that the reader can't have feelings for him, bc he's the one who's supposed to be punished by this whole thing) OR sukuna will kill gojo

which i know is like BIG but ! think about how gojo is always saying he'd do anything for the reader: he was ready to die for her; he had no intention of doing the list. when he walks in on her in ch1 he's like genuinely surprised that an opportunity like that "presented" itself to him, so he really wasn't planning to blackmail you ever

and when you finish the list, gojo is genuinely surprised and relieved that you finish it (ch45) !!!! he's also said that there was no time limit on it but that there actually was one, that it needed to be done by the end of the year i think??? somethin like that i don't remember but that always felt weird to me, so that's probs what sukuna's deadline for gojo was

--

anywhooo i also think sukuna put choso on the list bc he felt bad for hurting him (bc i'm refusing rn to think that choso lied abt the abuse which is the basis of my other theory but it bums me out so i'm just ignoring it lmao) and sukuna saw how obsessed w you gojo was and he was maybe like "hmm ok so this girl must be somethin special" and that's why he was making you hook up w choso !

yap sesh OVER (apologies this got so long and the way i was pulling out citations lmao) i will send more theories when i'm actually awake but i just read your response to my ask and HAD to do a song analysis! love you kami xoxoxoxo

-🩷

Okay this is yap session 1/2 that I’ve received & it’s not as long as the other so I’ll reply normally!!

To start, ty for this theory & semi-breakdown!! I rlly do love reading these ><

1. I LOVE how you broke down the song reference because every lyric from that damn song applies to Mr. Gojo in this fic🙏 Die For You applies more than you guys realize but it’ll make even more sense when we finally receive his backstory <3

2. You & ☃️anon have similar theories with how this whole thing started & it’s fun to see you guys on the right track & nearly hitting the nail on the head ^.^

The first theory about Gojo & Sukuna’s situation is… it’s a wonderful theory, I’ll say that. I will not say if it’s right or wrong but, since TFL is over, I think it’s safe to say you’re definitely on the right track :)

3. The Sukuna & Choso theory at the end is OH MY FUCKING GOD. I’m going to just burn my fic plans atp because I’m pretty sure you guys somehow have access to it 😄 /hj

Anyway, don’t consider that response as me confirming what you just said but DAMN you cooked & the kitchen might be on fire! :3

TO CONCLUDE, ty for the yap sesh, I love u & these sosoosooo much !!

[fluentmoviequoter]

okaaaay, first of all i just wanted to say that i've been OBSESSED with your writing and your fics about victor vale lately. it's just SO good???? just know you're changing lives out here

second of all, my request was yet another angst w victor (maybe with a fluffy ending??), but sort of inspired by the grudge by miss olivia rodrigo? i was just listening to this song rn and then this thought came to my mind all of a sudden 😭 idk if you're gonna like the idea, but if you don't, that's absolutely ok ❤️

Oh my gosh, thank you so much!! Changing lives? You're too kind. I absolutely love this idea; I don't listen to Olivia but I actually really like this song! It definitely gives Victor Vale vibes! I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted and please let me know what you think!! (PS, you said 'another' angst to fluff, did you request one of the others? If so, thank you for coming back and did you like it?)🤍

Warnings: ANGST, gets a little fluffy toward the end, spoilers for Vicious. 1.8k+ words

"The Grudge" by Olivia Rodrigo (explicit version)

Like a Grudge

The phone rings, and a rare photo of Victor smiling at you lights up the screen. Your day brightens as you answer. Summer is approaching quickly, but Victor promised to spend extra time with you on Fridays.

“Hey, Vic,” you greet, smiling at the flowers he sent you this morning.

“I’m leaving,” he interrupts, out of breath but emotionless.

“What do you mean?” you ask, sitting up.

“I have to leave. And I am never coming back.”

“You’re leaving school?”

“I’m leaving everything.”

“Why?” you whisper, remembering his promise from a few weeks ago. He said he’d be by your side through anything and protect you, hurt people before they could hurt you. And now, he’s doing the very thing he promised to protect you from.

“Angie.”

Your world shatters around you as the call ends. Victor chooses Angie.

✯✯✯✯✯

You sit up with a choked gasp, your sheets tangled around your legs as you wipe your hand harshly across your cheeks. Victor chose Angie like he always does. The memory of Victor betraying your trust, leaving you, and then hanging up on you still confuses you. Victor was your entire world, and he left, crushing your happiness between his fingers. Life without Victor is different than you expected, and the ghost of him haunts you every week.

The dead flowers on your desk are the only physical reminder of Victor, yet he never leaves your mind. Staring at them, you imagine Victor sleeping peacefully, unaware of the pain you’re experiencing, even years after losing him. You doubt he ever thinks about the damage that he did. Every single detail of the day Victor left you is vivid, but the slow, love-filled moments from before fade more each day. You cling to the memory of him, his voice choosing Angie, and the lack of care he ever had for you. 

You kick your sheets off as your heart rate slows, pulling your knees to your chest. Part of you, deep down, wonders what it would be like to wake up beside Victor, leaving this nightmare you call life behind. You know what you’d say. Despite what he did, you still love Victor Vale with a deep, undying love that you hold to like a grudge. As his voice fades, the nightmare returning to its waiting place in your mind, you stand from your bed, passing the flowers on your way to another day filled with distractions.

Since Victor chose Angie, his voice has been ever-present in your mind. It morphs daily; his simple answer of “Angie” becomes “I chose someone better” when you feel like you aren’t enough. Angie Knight was a part of Victor’s life, but he was yours. Or, at least, you thought he was. You had never worried about him finding someone better and leaving you, and it came out of nowhere, changing your life forever.

✯✯✯✯✯

“What is taking you so long?” your best friend huffs, pushing your door open.

You stare at the flowers, and the pile of dead petals at the bottom of the glass directly mirrors your shattered heart.

“That boy did some damage.”

You shake your head, trying to be tough. “I don’t care. I’m completely fine.”

“Then why keep them?”

“Let’s call it a reminder of my past mistakes,” you answer, brushing past her as you struggle not to scream.

Your act that everything is fine, that you learned from the break-up and got over it quickly, is a failing façade. Under the fake walls you’ve built, you are utterly broken. The tough exterior hides the pain and tears threatening to spill over at any moment, but it doesn't make you feel any better. Victor made leaving you for Angie look easy, with no emotion in his voice as he said goodbye (though, you didn’t even get that, just "Angie"). If Victor made that look easy, you can make moving on look easy, even if it’s impossible.

Walking into the restaurant, you hope your friends celebrate the weekend without asking about your nightmares. You’ve regretted confiding that information to them since the night you called. You just didn’t want to feel alone, but the Victor-sized hole in your heart can’t be filled by gossip and perfume-coated hugs from girls who will never understand what you’re dealing with.

“How are you?” someone whispers.

You pick up your glass, taking a quick drink before raising it slightly.

“To cursed memories,” you say, deflecting from answering.

In your effort to forget him and block the memories out, Victor is the only thing on your mind. He never leaves, and for some forsaken reason, you don’t want him to.

“You should forgive him and forget him!” someone cheers.

“Then move on to the next!” your best friend adds.

Smiling, you wish you were strong enough to do that. Maybe desperation could force it, too, but you need Victor’s memory, or you’ll have nothing to live for.

✯✯✯✯✯

The first breath you take after getting in your car is cleansing. Your friends try to cheer you up and give decent advice, but it doesn’t help. Nothing short of finding out why Victor chose Angie will cure you.

Looking at your reflection in the rearview mirror, you go return to Lockland.

“I’m leaving. Angie.”

Right now, sitting in your car, you hate Victor, and you’re prepared to argue. It happens often: arguing with a ghost in your head, in your car, and in the mirror before bed.

There are hundreds of things you could have said instead of the tear-strained “Why?” you managed. When you picture winning, you lie about cheating on Victor or tell him you won’t miss him, anything to make him feel an ounce of the pain you did.

Winning in your mind is cathartic, especially when Victor falls to his knees, clutching your hands to his chest as he begs you not to go. Fantasising about when he’s sorry is fun at the moment, but when the nightmare returns and you remember the truth, it’s like you’re back in that moment.

There should have been a sign, a clue of some sort, that Victor was unhappy with you and looking for something new, different, or better. As you try to understand why he would do all this to you, you often wonder what you did to deserve it. Could you have saved everything by being less like yourself and more like Angie? Would calling Victor and telling him you loved him a few minutes earlier have changed anything? Victor had to have been unhappy and insecure, because you know in your heart that hurt people hurt people. Had you realized how hurt he was, you would have done everything in your power to heal him, to make him invincible.

“You hurt him too,” you whisper to yourself in the mirror.

It was never intentional, but Victor Vale was easy to hurt. You weren’t always there for him, didn’t notice when he needed to talk, or, evidently, when things were too much for him. You both drew blood, but those cuts were never equal. The scrapes you left on Victor will never hold a candle to the fatal stab wounds he gave you, and they still hurt.

✯✯✯✯✯

The flowers really need to be thrown away. Cleaning your room, you keep stopping to look at them. It’s been years, but moving on seems impossible. 

“Coming!” you yell, snapped out of your thoughts by a heavy-handed knock.

Opening the door, you freeze. You should slam it, throw the vase, do anything to keep space between you. But you can’t move.

“It’s been a while,” Victor says, his hands in the pockets of his trench coat. “I- I just needed to check on you.”

“You needed to check on me?” you repeat quietly, holding the doorknob with white knuckles as you look anywhere but at Victor’s face.

“A lot has happened, and Eli,” Victor begins, but you don’t want to hear it.

“So now I deserve your pity and care? Last I checked, I didn’t.”

“You- can I come in? For just a minute, and if you want me to leave after sixty seconds, I will.”

You clench your jaw as you step back, counting in your mind as he begins talking.

“Your flowers are dead,” he points out.

“Your flowers,” you correct.

“Mine- those are from ten years ago?”

“Yeah, apparently vitriol makes flowers live longer,” you snap. “You’re wasting your minute.”

Victor’s brows furrow as he says, “I tried to be there for you, but when everything happened-“

“You tried to be there for me? You built me up to watch me fall, Victor.”

“I was trying to protect you.”

“From what? You?”

“Yes!” Victor shouts, his hands raising and falling. “Look, everything fell apart, and I didn’t want to drag you down with me. I know that I should have gone about it better, but I was running out of time and your safety was more important than answers or explanations. That’s what I thought, at least.”

“You betrayed me for my safety. That’s an interesting approach, Victor,” you say, crossing your arms across your chest.

“You don’t believe me, I get it. But we were in Merit - for Eli - and things started looking better, and being this close? I couldn’t pass the chance to check on you.”

“We?”

Victor falters slightly before saying, “Yeah. My, uh, my friends Mitch and Sydney.”

You nod, glad that he has everything but wants more.

“Well, your minute has been up for a while, so you can go.”

Trying to be tough, to be mean, you’re disappointed when the comment doesn’t come out as sharply as you intended. You haven’t looked at Victor yet because your eyes will betray your emotions. They will show that you still love him.

“I know you don’t care, I guess that’s fine,” you add, walking toward the door.

“It takes strength to forgive, but I’m not sure we’re there yet,” Victor says, cutting you off.

“You moved on, Victor,” you reply, missing the flinch at your continued use of his full name. He wants to ask what happened to ‘Vic,’ but you continue, “How is Angie?”

Glancing over your shoulder, you watch Victor’s eyes widen as he asks, “You think I left to be with Angie?”

“What else was I supposed to think?”

“I left because I killed her.”

You fall silent, a wave of memories crashing over you. The EO topic was a joke as far as you were concerned, but it explains the sudden changes in Victor and Eli and their subsequent departures. Looking up at Victor, you remain in place, unmoving and failing to find something to say.

“Why’d you keep the flowers?” he asks, cutting through the tension.

He confessed something, so you decide it’s only fair to do the same. “Even after all this, you’re still everything to me, Vic,” you whisper.

Victor's shoulders fall slightly before he looks over your shoulder to the window behind your table. Hearing a giggle, you turn quickly and see a hand retract into the bushes outside as the dead flowers turn green, blooming again.

[ode2cheol]

big deep breath OK SO . ive been so excited for this comeback like idk with every new cb i feel like i get even more excited than with the precious one yk so i was really waiting for it to come out!! they released the mv while i was in class (they hate me) but during a little break not long after i managed to watch it and i was bobbing my head and swinging my feet at the sound LJKE U DONT GET IT I WAS GENUINELY SO HAPPY

honestly this is one of my fav svt albums and idk it just makes me so happy all the songs are so perfect and good there's not a single one i don't enjoy and the aesthetic is so cute and im so excited and impatient to FINALLY HAVE MY ALBUM IN MY HANDS ARGHHHH but yes this was such a success im so happy they broke so many records and they just continue to prove how talented they are wooooo

for the songs there isn't one i dislike at all but i really like SOS idk the beat js so nice and the lyrics are really good and this may be also due to me loving marshmello when i was younger but STILL !!! Diamond days makes me SOOOOO NOSTALGIC i love it so much im so glad they used kind off the same sound/sample as Shining Diamond im in love 💔💔 i think back 2 back is my fav song of the album!! i love minghaos highnote and the beat and just the overal vibe idk it stood out to me sm their voices fit the song so well im obsessed with the part around 1.30 where dino and hao sing in like a low voice? YGM BUT ITS SOOOOO GOOD just the entire song is so good i think tbh i have a soft spot for pu songs 😭😭😭😭 i haven't had much the time to really analyze yawn but the soft voices and vocals are heavenly i genuinely passed away BECAUSE YOU ARE MY BREATH 💔💔💔💔 LIKE WDYM UR MY BREATH WHY IS THIS SONG MAKING ME TEAR UP DONT EVEN LIE RNNN monster is such a fun song i just know I'll play it on repeat like fire while im walking to uni to wake me up and get me in study mode 💥💥💥 it's giving Halloween vibes and im here for it!!!! it's also just fun to me because my roommate/bsf and i bet on who sang the first line and she swore it was gyu and i swore it was vernon and today we didn't see each other much so like 1h ago she told me she saw in a lyric vid that gyu sang that line and i was like ??? girl i have weverse and i follow it religiously so ik it's both of them AND WE COULDNT AGREE BECAUSE WE DIDNT HAVE ANY PROOF so i ended up showing her weverse and it was so fun we were both right in the end and we did a silly dance LMAOOAOOOO IT WAS SO FUNNY 😻😻😻😻 but lemme tell u about headliner. FUCK THAT SONG BRO WHY AM I CRYING ??????? no it's actually my fav song along back 2 back like are u actually kidding me ???? this song makes me wanna study even more for my Korean classes like FUCK HEADLINER SO BAD 💔😭😭😭😭😭 I CRY AND LAUGH WITH YOU THIS NIGHT💔💔💔💔💔 WHERE WE OFFER ALL OUR LOVE💔💔💔💔 HOW BEAUTIFUL💔💔💔💔💔 BEVAHSE YOURE MY HEADLINER 💔💔💔💔💔 this moment when we shine together don't lie rn I'll actually kms and take a bath with my toaster like wow jumping of the 9th floor of the apartment building next door seems like such a fun activity today 😻😻😻😻😻😻

RIGHT OMG I WAS LITERALLY TUNING IN EVERYDAY AT 12 AM KST TO SEE IF THEY DROPPED FHE ANNOUNCEMENT AND WHEN THEY DID I WAS SOOOOO HYPED ‼️ like fml was SO huge i couldn’t wait for this one ALSO THE MV LITERALLY RELEASED DURING A PRACTICE FIRE DRILL FOR ME 😭😭

it genuinely is one of my faves too, like although the songs aren’t necessarily my fave of each unit (i still LOVE each one) the album was just so well put together ?? everything flowed perfectly and like usually it’ll take me like two or three listens to like some songs but i listened to the album start to finish ONCE and fell in love w EVERYTHING i’m not even kidding ❤️‍🔥 I CANR WAIT FOR MY ALBUMD TO GET HERE AYSHSHAHDJHS

right like there wasn’t a bad song at all !!! my fave has to be headliner bc it’s just so fucking emotional like woozi why u got me crying on the train home 😐😐😐 it gives me MAJOR our dawn is hotter than day vibes which i love sm !! the whole album vibes reminded me a little of you make my day a little i think it’s just me but yeah ‼️ i LOVED back 2 back too omg perf unit ALWAYS hits and YAWN OMG 😓 every track was amazing 😓😓😓 STOP THE DEBATES ON THE MONSTER FIRST LINE LMFAAOAOAO 😭😭 speaking of monster, cheol’s part.. changed me . i loved SOS too omg it gave such like band vibes ??

ALSO HELPPPPP HEADLINER’S LYRICS OMG 😓😓 my mom heard me listen to it and said “girl why are u listening to such sad lyrics..”

[feral-teeth]

Hello friend, welcome to the Spencer brain rot club wherein you cannot help but be enamoured by this pretty and overtly silly guy 🫶 your Spencer art is now glued in my brain. It’s so insanely cool the vibe you captured in it! And the style of it, the words around the head, etc all of it so stylistically cool!

This is the art - enjoy looking at it again hehe (it’s also in my arrow valentine art tag and pinned to the top of my feed rn)

The Spencer brain rot club has turned into a full blown out obsession cause this man is in my thoughts and I cant stop writing fics with him involving him with x reader and with other people in smosh ! I also drew him multiple times again,. Let me know if I should post (it’s messy but I love it)

We love this pretty and silly guy, maybe even enough to want to kiss him maybe ? WHO SAID THAT (Can I say that?) but also want to like shake his shoulders and scream. Affectionately.

I’m happy to hear that it is glued to ur brain and that it made that much of an impact on you! I genuinely almost didn’t post it cuz I was embarrassed about how much this lil freak was on my mind and I didn’t want the drawing to prove it you know? But I gave into the temptation of oversharing which is always fun! And that didn’t go as badly as I thought so! He also liked it on twitter like both posts I made on my backup and art account idk,,, idk what to do about it tbh,, I’ve been running on the anxiety and the huge confidence boost that gave me for days now.. I’m serious I haven’t been sleeping cuz I’ve been thinking abt the fact he saw my art and that maybe he saw the rest of my art and my page and…. Wtf

And I love that part the most! I was just thinking about Spencer and what would look cool for him and drew what vibes he gave off to me! I was also just having fun w the drawing l was trying to be looser and less perfectionistic and more expressive in my art so hopefully that shows here. The words are also song lyrics of songs that I was listening to while drawing it!!

This art is my style that I’m both proud of and kind of embarrassed about how messy it is but maybe that’s apart of the charm??? Who knows

(I don’t get notifications at all so I just had to manually find this through making a custom setting of asks, so I hope I’m not too late to reply to u ! I am genuinely so thankful for the love on my art, it feels like it must have been washed away by all of the other content on social media so for it to have made an impact I’m genuinely so happy and overjoyed and overwhelmed )

(also for my anxieties sake I want to mention that I understand Spencer is a real person and I’m not trying to sound parasocial when I write this, I kinda view him as a little guy that I want to put in my pocket but in the way that he was not actually himself, like a different person? Like how people write about real people so they are characters in a fanfiction - like that)