#somtimes i have no idea what to even tag here

[cyber-cabbages]

Norn Commission I did for a fellow gw2 player.

[honeyglz]

Fighter!Izuku Headcannons !! A/N- Goin on holiday so heres some fighter!Izuku crumbs for ya. Also this is vry not proof read. So ya. Au- No quirk Reader- Gn (fem in mind while writing) Disclaimer- I do not own any of the characters aside from Y/N/ the reader Warnings- Violence, Fighting (duh), Me not knowing what a fight thingy is but just go with it, OOC (possibly). Lmk If I missed any !! -!!-

Thinking about Fighter!Izuku who literally is in constant need of medical care

Doesnt matter what he's doing he needs some soft of bandage's

Esp after a fight

Soft skin of his lips busted open with a gash as he tries his vry best not to move while you patch him up

Fighter!Izuku who goes underground fighting with the name Deku out of spite to his past bully (Cough Katsuki Cough)

Fighter!Izuku who will bash down grown men for fun but tear up at disney movies.

Fighter!Izuku who comes back to your small shared apartment with another bag of cash throwing it on the table before grabbing you and pulling you flush against him.

Fighter!Izuku who never lets you come to fights because he's scared you'll veiw him diffrently

Fighter!Izuku who goes to his day job at the office with his packed lunch because he knows you want him to eat properly.

Pls tell him his scars r pretty.

Pls like fr Im not kidding.

Somtimes when he's alone he'll stare at them, wondering if you still like him with how many he has. :(

Fighter!Izuku who has a small metal chain with a tag, both your initials carved on it.

He took on extra fights to get it done for your anniversary .

Fighter!Izuku who once broke some poor guys arms because he ripped the chain off his neck and spat on it.

That guy never came back to fight.

Fighter!Izuku who gets upset when you work on his days off, literally holds you down until you pry him off.

Fighter!Izuku who one night coming out of the ring and into the car park spots you there. Bundled up from the cold night with a med kit and what looks to be a packed bento.

His heart stops.

Like ong it skips a few beats. Not in the good way.

He's covered in blood (mostly not his own) and his fist are raw as well as alot more wounds and bruises. It had been a bad fight, and he had won but now he was almost wishing he didnt.

Had you watched? Were you here to say you were disgusted with him??

God pls send this man some comfort he's contemplating just running.

It's not until you call his name that he meets your eyes shamefully. Eye's glossy because he doesn't want to break up :( He rlly loves u pls.

Tears start to run a little before you ask why to which he almost dejectedly explains that he gets if you wanna break up with him.

He almost crys more when you pull him in for a soft kiss rubbing his beefy shoulders that are trembling from the cold (and because he rly rly doesnt want to break up)

Fighter!Izuku who is now sitting on the hood of his old ass car while he gets patched up.

Anyways after that yall went home and chilled.

You confessed that you had known where the place had been for awhile now. And when he didn't text back or come home on time you got worried.

He's even more whipped now (is that possible?)

He takes the next few days off to fully heal and spend time with u.

Fighter!Izuku who is cuddling on the couch with you when you suddenly look up at him. Much to his concern.

He watches as you look deep in thought before you speak.

"Take me to see one of your fight's"

Oh shit.

He sits up abit trying to explain that its not a good idea, he looks abit pale at the idea but you both know its a talk you have to have.

You take his hands and explain that you don't want to be in the dark about his job/Hobbies. Even if its abit.. graphic.

He sighs before agreeing only to joke saying he'll just have to work at the office from now on. You slap the back of his head and both get ready.

Him more mentally tbh.

Anyways you guys get there and he's not letting you out of his sight (Or arms).

Doesn't matter where you are. This place is dangerous and he needs to make sure your alright at all times.

That is until he has to get into the ring.

He ligit has 5 people watching you, all friends of his.

Ida (who works at Izuku's office and is watching u) was vry surprised to see you there, almost as much as you were seeing him.

Anyways he gets in the ring and starts his fight. Everythings going well until he notices your not with his friends. They're all looking around in a panic.

He panics running to the egde of the cage as he yells out to Ida who is still looking around.

Its not until his opponent elbows him in the back of the head that he realises he's still in a fight.

He tries calling it off but this mf just wont quit.

Izuku is about to climb out of the cage before he spots you. Next to his rival.

The masked blonde headed fuck has his arm around you as you keep shrugging him off clearly annoyed and unamused.

Izuku watches as you keep trying to reject him only for Dynamite to insist he's better than what ever loser your dating.

He watches even more painfully as he grabs your waist whispering something to you that makes you flush and pull away

What the actual fuck.

Izuku goes up to the side of the cage where you both are sitting and reaches through the gate pulling the blonds collar against the cage as he slams him into it.

Over. And over.

Izuku see's red.

Its not until his opponent slams a chair on the back of Izuku's head that he again is snapped out of it.

Izuku drops the blonde man as he stumbles abit, vision blurry as the crowd goes wild, the other guy already celebrating.

Izuku begins to black out slowly before he catches a glimpse of you.

His sweet perfect partner- Tackling security and yelling bloody murder to try get into the cage to help him. He witness you jump as the bouncers try to tame you down.

You call out his name and he locks eye's with you for a moment.

Your still fighting the guards, threatening them even.

He takes a shaky breath before he grabs the chair his opponent used. Bashing it against his opponents head, knocking the man out cold.

Everyone goes silent for a moment watching Izuku drops the chair and rushes to your side.

He envelopes you before giving you some space nervous for your reaction.

Its not until you gawk at how strong he is before pulling him in firmly, making sure a curtain red eye's fighter see's, that his nerves are eased.

Yep he loves you, but pls dont run off again he might die.

-!!-

A/N- Hope you enjoyed !! Request are open but I am going to be away for a few days so may be delayed. <3

[pokemonperformersam]

This is Somtimes a Pokémon role-play account but always a Pokémon nerd account 💪😎

Main : @catsoutofthebags

I will use the ‘high stakes pokereality’ tag for posts I consider high stakes or intense. But this is a very low stakes blog - it’s mainly just shitposts.

Feel free to send me random asks!! >:)3 I love weird shit (as long as it’s not explicitly medical or goes into too much detail about mental health)

my main is @catsoutofthebags

______________________________

Hello! My name is Sam. My pronouns are they/them. I live in the Galar region.

My name is Sam - I’m a stage manager for Pokémon Performances. I share my struggles with the burden of being from Galar. :’( /j

#pkmn irl [they/them]

That is - I help make sure Pokémon performances and shows go off without a hitch. I organise, I schedule, I move the props and I clear up the stage after. I am the person that makes theatre work even though you never see me.

I used to perform myself - but after catching suspected Pokè-Virus (just my luck smh) I developed CFS/ME and Fibro which meant no more performing for me. It’s just too physically demanding. But, I do teach classes now as well as doing management.

These are my Pokémon:

Normanda the Nidoqueen.

Lovely lovely Norma. My baby. A tank in battle ngl. When she wants to battle rather than perform I let people borrow her for the tundra battles. I raised her from and egg for performing specifically. Technically my partner Pokemon? She gets an itch to perform so I often use her in teachings. Though - she is not all brains. But she does love a hug and a fuss. She never forgot that she is my baby and still expends to be held as such. And even if she’s 4ft of pure muscle I try my best.

Gertrude and her kid Burtie - my Kangaskan.

Gurtie and Burtie! When I was a kid, I got lost in the woods by my house. Not my greatest moment. I’ve never been that lucky. But, a Kangaskan came out of the woods, stuck me in her pouch and wondered to the town where I lived. Ever since then, she’s stayed by my side making sure that I stay safe. Long story short that’s how I got my first ever Pokémon. Her pouch is useful for tools I need backstage. She did performances with me too, back when I did those.

Lucy the Leiperd

I found her on my sofa one day and she never left. She’s now too scared to leave the house and she is terrified of strangers. I do worry about her…but she is a trouble maker and keeps me on my toes. I think she was a stray once? Maybe she didn’t have the best time with humans? But she’s with me now and sleeps on the biggest bed in the house. (That being mine)

Balto the Bolthound

So I don’t really like canine Pokémon. So I used to carry biscuits with me to throw so Yamper would leave me alone on my way to work. This backfired (obviously) and I got adopted into a Yamper pack. Most of them I ended up giving to neighbors, as I already have a tonne of Pokémon in my tiny flat, but Balto stayed. He’s my service Pokémon in training. What a good boy!

Clive the rotom

Technically he’s not my Pokémon, he’s my rotom phone. He’s the rotom I’ve had since he I was 12. But I love him all the same. He will pop out from time to time to invade my fridge when he’s hungry or help me fix a light. He’s a clever little lad!

Maggie the Wooper

Maggie is the baby of my 6, and she’s the Pokémon distribution system at its finest. I found her in a bin? For some reason? No idea why someone would throw out a shiny. I just assumed someone dyed a wooper pink until someone pointed out she was a Shiny. But here she is. She lives her best life squirting water at me from the sink and stealing my heating pad. I’m training her up alongside Norma to be a performance pokemon for when I teach classes! But for now she’s just a baby - so she can have a childhood swimming in my bathtub. <3

If you ever need help, drop me an ask or a line and I’ll try my best. Have a nice day. Thanks for dropping by my blog. :)

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[shadowdianne]

Author Self-Interview

tagged by @delirious-comfort

Name: Dianne full penname ShadowDianne or ShadowSelene, gods know I bothered quite a lot of people with the double pennaming back at A03. Some others use Dia. I will basically answer to any variation of the penname.

Fandoms: Could be a smartass and say all the fandoms I've written for but let's be honest; It was SwanQueen, Princess Rover and I guess some SuperCorp/SuperCat

Where do you post: AO3 and FFN but I’ve stopped posting on FFN now.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter: [Oh boy, let's do this. I'm just gonna remind y'all that I basically never wrote multichaptered -well, few exceptions- and that numbers never worked for me xD Let's do this... AJ here was very thorough and did ffnet as well but since I erased like 70% of the fics I had back at ffnet a few months ago I will simply go to A03 for simplicity's sake]

Oh! I'm doing it by Kudos

Annnd, that would be “I'm not afraid of the dark” Princess Rover-Shannara Chronicles with 237 Kudos. It's a wip so, heh xD

Most Popular One-Shot: That one would be “Cracked it” SuperCorp -I think??- Supergirl with 667 Kudos.

Favorite Story You’ve Written So Far: I always say the same one but that's because I basically went to my sandbox and said yeeet. I would write it differently now -I basically edited out a bunch of things I wanted to write because if it would have been up to me the romance would have been less upfront but since it was a SuperNova I guess I went the route of “giving focus to the ship rather than the worldbuilding which I what I love -lol-. Either way that would be Metallic Ink. Yet, to make it a bit more convoluted because y'all know how much I love writing long-winded answers my favorite piece was anything and everything I wrote that involved Steampunk -and I have a bunch!- or fae-related writing because that's what I like the most.

Fic you’re nervous to post: Quoting AJ: All of them. The fear of posting never left no matter the amount of times I did it. We all are nervous from a performance point of view.

How do you choose your titles: I curse a lot xD Not in the titles per se but while trying to find something to write there. I usually go with one word titles for one shots and, somtimes, short sentences. Sometimes they are taken from lyrics -either translated or not- that I think aids with the aesthetic I'm trying to go for or, other times, most of the times really- they are a rewritten version of a sentence written within the text. I'm horrible at it.

Do you outline: I did, sometimes, for specific things. I think I've written about this at some point prior to this tag but, and considering the biggest amount of my work is comprised of one shots and prompts at that, there were certain themes I had written enough times to know already what sort of tropes or themes I wanted to go with so those very rarely needed an outline. I wrote several versions of them, though. Sometimes because plot bunnies, some other times because I wrote in batches so if I realized there was something that was being repeated across several prompts/stories I could lean into something different in order to not be overly repetetive. If I was going for multichaptered or worldbuilding I did an outline. Some stories that required particular details -words of desire, hundred steps, words in the cloud...- also used outlines so I could keep everything in order before writing them and I knew what topics I had already written and which ones I hadn't yet.

Complete Fics:  Hah. As always the exact number is something we will never know xD I've erased a bunch so the number is already not the correct one and I'm not even considering tumblr- Now that I think of it I didn't write down tumblr as a site in where I post things... telling. Anyway, according to a03 I have 535 works. Jump that a couple 100s and that will probably be a more accurate number. From those... 513 apparently. It's probably less. Let's be honest xD

Do you accept prompts: *laughs in tired* I did, I do... I guess I still do because what I've last posted were prompts but I consider myself out of most of the whole prompt writing business if it is not for a very particular list of people. If you give me ideas I may implement them but since I don't feel strong enough for any couple atm and the burn out I ended up having is something that still lingers... let's say I'm more the shadow rather than the dianne portion of my penname these days.

Upcoming Story You’re Excited to Write: Fic wise... I guess nothing? I'm not writing fics atm, I may at some point but I'm currently still trying to unlearn a bunch of things and trying to find something I can give back in the form of a transformative work.

Stories You’re Excited to Read: Back to quoting AJ: Give me angst. And fantasy. And hurt comfort with a heavy dose of the first and very little of the second. Pretty please.

Tagging: @waknatious, @stregaomega I'm not remembering if AJ tagged you @naralanis but considered yourself tagged on my end :P

[romy350-romyakari]

Since I'm okey with people calling me out here I will unleash my humble opinion on a matter that makes me roll on my seat because is so funny as it also is so... uhmmm "weird" to have in count.

Take it as the writers huge mistake what I'm going to point out in a bit.

I guess I'm still salty even after 5 years. Is confusing at best and I'm adding this after writing all of this. Is a lot to read so please just know is a huge ramble.

aka me rambling over what I feel on rewatch been no longer that young

Is part of our experience judge that to some degree.

Characterization is important, it defines who we see on a story and is better if there are consistend or if their inconsistent have a good reason to be.

Well I was young once and could miss mistake like the 180° not so justified turn of events on a main character. I realize some years later and can laugh about it because it makes no sense.

I'm going to explain the case of Angel's Friends cartoon and that huge mistake from their characters.

Like I am fond of the series because it was my first fandom. But still I can't unsee this as you can guess.

Let's begin with the nature of something they like to state early on the cartoon show which was really cliché but angels were the goodie two-shoes and devils were the bad guys im general. Simple but not so simple for them to keep in rule it seems.

I like to imagine they respect some of the calm and more expected nature of the angels and the chaotic and up to no good ways of the devils like the Original comics did for both of them but we wouldn't be here on my post if that was the case.

It was quite a mess how the cartoon take the character since the side character could be so plain that you forgot that they were doing something till they were support help to their own side been angels or devils.

But again with the stuff that make me roll off till now and nobody on the show says a thing about.

They freaking mess up with their own statment of Sulfus on the cartoon show and they can't tell me no they didn't. Is hillarious and let me tell you why.

They may say on that thing how "loves make you change" but this one could be taken for a fool and is really lot coming from me.

They present him lot more chaotic and really problematic on just chapter 1, it did give an impression but everthing goes down hill a bit from her and on.

As the plot of first season is the villianess doing hidding matchmaking and poison of love plan that seem to turn into a real love story for this chaotic case of the female lead Raf an angel and the male lead who is Sulfus a devil so she could scape limbo to the terrible consecuenses that bring over a trully huge rule on the series wich is part of a magic code of not interfering with each other party and less uhmm a kiss, you really see lot of stuff go on here and mark my word is not like "oh no this is not safe for the kids" but is not quite recomended for them peraphs.

This doesn't make sence but i think the villianess plan was an excuse to showcase the romantic tension and ovearlod or romantic takes.

I can't watch the series withouh some wather to pass the taste of "i thinks this is too much"

But this mention has a meaning behind since i need to state this and the huge overload on the romance we get because i believe is a guge thing that affecter how they write the characters on the cartoon show .

They really did bad to Sulfus uh? Like most of the show. You wouldn't qish to have to deal with chapter 1 Sulfus as asigned rival, he seem to be a big deal on the devils group because how remacable chaotic he was but that didn't last long.

The villianess plan was a match making one since he and Raf break a rule that is used to her advantage she would lead them to comith a sacrilege which would really shake that magical code that they should not mess with. It causes huge dissasters and mess btw.

There is s small time gap before the love poison the villianess send on a spider that she encomended her only servant with leaning it to find the pair of eternals she was targeting. On that gap we still retained normal characterization for Sulfus but the episode went down hills on characterization pretty quickly.

It was so uncalled for the way they set the situation of the bit from the spider tho... idk if blame the spider at all because actually the romance would no have a foot at all if the writers didn't bend Sulfus as a character like the extend they did.

There is this huge point they state that their romace was not because of the spider bit that later i think is kind of acknowledge but is quite confusing if they wat to justify some fated love.

Anyways from then on we see how literally did soften Sulfus character to the point he been devil makes me wonder why nobody call him out about it like there is this expectation they stated us the normal was been that troublesome chaotic for devils but they seem to just let it pass from then on. I am still laughing because he actually change so much that rewatch episode one you can just laugh because at that point you know he will became a softie later that is actually bad for him as a charcter since there is little to non struggle on why he is behaving that way or if he wants to undertand this changes at all.

There is near to non thinking on him since idk, it should peraphs feel more comflicting with all stated but he just misses the cue and goes for it on ocaccions?? Is quite weird he is so open to forget the only rules the devils respect. The no involve themselven with angels matters pr the angels themselves unless is about work.

Was is the spider? Who knows they smke it confusing after the trial episode and then the movie came and idk if laugh to the villaness of some fortune teller since wow she was lucky on that scape uh?

They literally make him datable material for the female lead and is a sad thing but well, the cartoon show itself could acomplish as the one with most romace scenes/moments of all time for a cartoon show, not well written but it has them. And maybe the one with an exclusive kissing sequence [no it was not just a few seconds for the kissing scene, there was a freaking sequece of it if i recall well and i recall it as something thar they put budge on it for some reasons since they did a 360° turn around on the sequence even] is impressive comoared to other european cartoons that claimed to have romace on the tags and give you a but here and there while this was like a full bag of the bread but questonable if is one you will like lol

You know the writer forgot many stuff when then Sulfus was the one trying to remind Raf the rules but follow behind her because who care love is a fool or so writers say on those chapter after the half of season 1

If you cringe is undestandable, I cannot rewatch in a full go as I used to when I was younger, i could because i let so many stuff pass.

Sometimes I wonder why even follow this plot idea when the Original comics had a great plot a great characters.

The most consistent Sulfus I know so far is Original Comic Sulfus, that is entretating to read and he does not change much from who he is, he may be a may character and this yime kind of falling in love with the Raf there but well, is not quite the deal since is explained this weird odds of the posibility of anglels and devils with training on 99% not be complete perfect and could end up with a crush or so but all is just momentary and will vanish once they reach 100%. Is onsided crush thing since the live interest for Raf is a human on the Original Comics and that, again, is a prohibited thing, the magic code is not applied between angels and devils but between humans and eternals here.

Back to Original comics Sulfus is quite funny how he figure out he is having a crush, btw they all pre-teen kiddos apearance wise except for the master of the school program while the cartoon show present them as teenager lookalike, and really he does struggle and bit on that whole process of realization. It seems Original comics Sulfus give hint of it but it was subtle changes that yeah it was nice details, maybe is even sad how he just decides to be subtle about it and do nothing big since is not something he would bother much aside there is bigger issues for angels and devils, that characters I like of that characterization is that he will still be who they state him to be but subtle changes mark that realization.

And the rest of the cast is just as cool on ther characterization, you see somtimes little on some of the characters but they don't lose thar cool characterization they had from the start and is so welcome from me as a reader.

A shame they cancelled the good comic because of the cartoon show, really a shame. I will be sad about that till the end of my days because iwanted the resolution of all major a smaller struggles were cool to read.

I have no idea how they funded a movie and a second season of the cartoon show and idk how their live action somewhat based on some fact of the cartoon show went.

But to make thing short here the resume:

Cartoon show mess it up big time with characterization and we lost cool orginial comics thanks tho the cartoon show, that would be all.

You fan cring or be sad about it and I will get it.

Yeah I"m still bit salty about that.

[1989nihil]

mixed back of bullshit

I usually work fridays and saturdays, but I got a private comittment tomorrow, so I switched my friday shift to thursday, today.

My day had already started rather ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, but improved over the course of day, and rose to “okay” level, when I went to work.

Since I usualy don’t work thursday, I had the opportunity today, to get to know the other part-timer in our section. A 17 year old, who just started Gymi/Secondary School. Gonna come back to this dobe in a moment, because as soon as my shift started, like, right the second item I was about to stock, the remaining stock of it was not only not sorted into the correct spot, but it wasn’t sorted according to Exp/BB date either. Cue my abeyant mood begining to take a nose-dive, because, while sorting the item to it’s actual spot wouldn’t’ve been that much of an annoyance - it was just one spot to the left - but the auto-order system will throw a hissy-fit if items are stocked at the wrong spot, sooo... there’s that. What really got my mood to tank was to find out that, ...

... while sorting that, the remaining stock in the fridge of that asorted yoghurt, every single piece of it was fuckin overdate! Over 20 pieces of it, 57€ent a piece had to be written off. Now you’re prolly thinking: “hey, that isn’t much, c’mon don’t get worked up over it.” To which I’d reply: That this sorta shit happens constantly! I know who’s guilty party here, two of my full-time collegues (full-time morons to be precise), both younger than me. And the part-timer, whom I initally mentioned is also to be counted into the group of people who do not appear to give a fucking damn about correctly sorting and stocking the items into the fridges. Oh, and there’s also that one wannabe ursurping bastard of a cashier, who thinks that, just cause there is no official department head in the dairy section - due to some big-ass organizing misshap, which has since been corrected, so we do have a department head now - , that he can boss me aorund, allthough, we only ask cashiers for help when we’re under-staffed or if there’s a bit too much to do, but I digress. He was helping us today, too, for as long as he wasn’t needed at the registers.

Back to the matter at hand: as I was sorting out the over-date yoghurt, and stocking the new stock into its proper place, I just... didn’t bother to keep my admiration of the genius behind this mess on the down low this time (read: I was cussing loud enough to not get drowned out by the constant humming of the fridges). I directly asked the aforementioned other part-timer, which genius was behind this, more as a rethorical question, because I know it could’ve only been those two, the cashier, or this part-timer. Don’t wanna bragg, but I got a good grasp on how everyone sorts and stocks items, so there’s no point in lying to me.

Anyhow, since this was the first time I met the other part-timer, of whom I had heard great things about (read: the total fuckin opposit applies), I decided I’d stick close to them and give them some pointers, though, word is, store’s gonna kick ‘em out if they keep slacking off. And they haven’t been around that long either, they started back in March. Anyhow, decided to help them, if they were to be helped, and explained to them, that, among other things, when stocking crates with asorted items, to match the last three digits of the crate’s EAN-code with the last-three digits of the barcodes on the price-tags in fridges. If it’s a plain crate, then all the items in it have the same EAN-code, and all that, and semi-constantly reminding them, in a stern tone, to sort by Exp/BB date. It rather immediatly became apparent, that, even after working here for three month, they  needed help finding the correct place for the items he was about to stock, wich wouldn’t have been a big deal either, because as part-timer they’re in only two days a week, just like me. It would not have been a big deal, if I had the impression that they were putting in some effort to find it on their own, before asking me for help. However, they didn’t put in any effort at all into finding the correct place of an item, EVEN-FUCKIN-THOUGH THEY WERE STANDING RIGHT THE FUCK INFRONT OF IT!!! LIKE, THEY WERE EVEN LOOKING AT THE CORRECT PLACE, LIFTING THE PRICE-TAG SLIGHTLY TO GET A BETTER LOOK AT IT AND YET... STILL ASKED ME FOR HELP... like, okay I am hare-brain supereme, I somtimes forget where an item is placed, too, and they basically just started, the time-span between thenm taking an item from the container, and asking me where to stock it, wasn’t even five seconds!!! Helped them the first three times they asked, and after that, kept repeating to match the last three-digits of the EAN with the price-tag’s barcode, and told them, that this was a bit like playing Memory, except with dairy products. You know what they replied? You have any fucking idea, what that good-for-nothing punk said??? They said, and I kidd you not, they said “But that’s so exhausting!” Like, what the fuck? Was instantly fed-up with this intellektuellen Gullydecekel, and straight up told ‘em that no one ever claimed stocking fridges was easy, and that, if they thought that putting in a lil effort just to find the correct place for an item, just that and nothing else, was already too exhausting, then what the fuck are they even doing here? I asked them that. Like seriously, are you fucking kidding me? And that fucking moron had the audacity to say, that depending on what they’ve been doing prior to coming in for work, they’re already exhausted, meaning they don’t wanna put in even the slightest bit of effort to do the job properly, and are in only for the money. Told them straight up, that more often than not I am up until early in the mornig to study, even on days I have to go to work, so they shouldn’t come at me with that lame excuse. Kid didn’t bother to say anything else after that. And six pm sharp, when their shift was supposed to end, they fucked off, despite me even telling them to sign-off with our department-head. The only thing they appear to be enthusiastic about is to throw away the cardbord-packagings most of the items come. And not even that they can do correctly, because the reason, I learned, for why we had to reprint the Exp/BB-date check-lists and tags was, because that absolute fucking moron threw the box with all the lists and tags away along with the discarded packagings. Like... how??? They were likely told more than once what that box was for, and that it shouldn’t be thrown away, even if it’s sitting in the lower-compartment of the carts we use for waste. LIKE HOOOOOOOOOOOOW????!

The only upside of today, sorta? There’s this one cold coffee-brand for which our chain was doing an extended special offer sale, which meant, that we were getting loads of all the varieties of that brand we carry, to fill the specialt-sales-display with. Which also somtimes means, that some of my co-workers, especially those two full-time morons just chucked the coffee into he special-sales-display without giving even less of a damn than usual about the Exp/BB date. So today nearing the end of that special-offer sale, a lot of them had to be writtin off, since they expired yesterday. But since it was a lot of coffee, and the Exp/BB date is an estimate, it was distributed among us collegues. Went home with one and half-crate of Espresso and Café Latte, so I guess my mood is back into “okay” or even “good” terretory.

[roseymoseyberry]

Bite the Bullet (one-shot)

Look. Look.

We all make choices sometimes.

And somtimes those choices lead to the realization that you might just like Megatron with red minibots.

Anyway, shout out to @canonmorelikecanyounot (18+ blog) because this is entirely her fault for her tags about Megatron flirting with Cliffjumper while in gun mode.

And man was it fun to write some v indulgent smut while also getting to play around with g1 silliness.

Title: Bite the Bullet

Series: G1

Ship: Megatron/Cliffjumper

Rating/warnings: Explicit for not so safe or sane gun play, one of the characters being in their alt-mode, technically dubcon since Megatron is a prisoner (but he’s v into it), annnd yeah. It’s gun fucking and Megatron is the gun.

For a refresher course on what exactly Megatron is like as a gun, here’s the main cartoon ref I used and the real life inspiration for his alt-mode.

“So you’re that type of mech, hm?”

Cliffjumper’s frown deepened and he barely turned his helm to glare over his shoulder.

However, he quickly found it was difficult to know where to point his glare when the enemy was stuck in his alt-mode. If he was a car it would be easy, and Cliffjumper had some idea of where to look at a flight-mode. He wasn’t dumb.

But it was a harder call when the leader of the Decepticons was a gun.

The muzzle maybe? But it was turned away from him since Megatron was laid out on the prison berth parallel to the cell barrier. The scope would have been his next guess, but it was also aimed at the wall. All Cliffjumper could see was the butt of the gun and the trigger and all along the bottom edge of the barrel.

Slag though, Cliffjumper almost didn’t mind since it gave him the excuse to drag his optics along the full length of the gun.

No, not gun. Not just a gun.

Megatron.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

The minibot kept expecting the gun to move, to at least twitch or roll, anything. He couldn’t fully comprehend the fact that anyone could have an alt-mode that completely lacked mobility.

But Megatron just continued to lay there in the exact same spot as when Optimus placed him there the day before.

“I should think it’s obvious, Autobot,” Megatron replied, his tone amused. Cliffjumper’s hands fisted at his sides and his frown tightened.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?!”

Megatron’s laugh grated on his audials.

“You like my form, don’t you?”

His spark felt as if it had stopped cold in his chest. Cliffjumper gaped at the Decepticon before squaring his shoulders and pinching his lips tight. His head turned away sharply to look at the wall.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, so can it, rust bucket.”

“I think you do.”

“I said can it!”

“Your friend wasn’t subtle,” Megatron continued, unperturbed, and Cliffjumper felt his face heat up. No, he supposed Bumblebee’s “Behave” with a wink when they had switched off was pretty obvious. It wasn’t exactly something he was shy about admitting to normally – they all had their kinks, some so specific that his seemed mild in comparison – but Cliffjumper wished now he had kept his big mouth shut.

He was gonna get Bumblebee back after this. Maybe a good right hook to the noggin—

“You want to frag me, don’t you, little Autobot?”

Shame sparked across Cliffjumper’s circuits as he felt his array warm and his interface protocols online in a hurry.

“Sh-shut up!”

“You do,” Megatron said, dragging the last vowel out mockingly. Cliffjumper’s engine growled, even as his face burned. “No need to be ashamed. You’re hardly the first, and you won’t be the last. I am well constructed after all, and you will not find a more destructive weapon to hold in your hands.”

Cliffjumper gritted his dentae. He shouldn’t rise to the bait, he knew that, but he hated the feeling of unspoken words on his glossa.

“So you’re a nice gun. So what? What would I want with you anyway?” Cliffjumper spat out.

The gun hummed with obvious delight.

“Oh, I’m sure you’re well aware. It’s quite something to hold such power in your hands, to touch and perhaps to even taste that strength, isn’t it?” Cliffjumper’s fingers twitched and his mouth watered and his spark pulsed quickly in his chest. “And I know you’ll agree that to have destruction at your fingertips and taunt fate with it pressed to your frame can bring about a rush like none other.” His plating shifted and, slowly, spread out so that the growing heat could leak out without needing to turn on his cooling fans. “And while you may be small, Autobot, you won’t have any trouble taking my barrel inside you, will you?”

With the clamping together of his thighs, Cliffjumper’s valve throbbed behind his panel.

Frag.

“I’m not stupid, and I’m sure as slag not suicidal, so why don’t you--”

“But you are interested.”

Cliffjumper turned on his heel to glower at the Megatron again, his arms crossed over his chest. “Not in having you blow me up from the inside out!”

The gun cackled and Cliffjumper’s plating flared irritably.

“Is that all that holds you back? Then rest easy,” Megatron insisted casually. “In this form, while I am much more powerful, I am otherwise in most every other way the same as any other gun. And I assume you know how to safely indulge yourself, hm?”

Cliffjumper ground his dentae until he could swear he tasted sparks on his glossa. It didn’t help to fight the burning heat flooding his face or to ignore the distinct sensation of lubricant slicking his valve.

“You honestly think I’ll believe you can’t pull your own trigger?”

Primus, it was so weird to have this conversation when Megatron didn’t move at all. His voice was all that Cliffjumper had to go off of.

Did that immobility really go that far?

“Why else do you think I would let my lieutenants have the pleasure?”

A shiver raced down Cliffjumper’s spine at the thought of that very pleasure, to squeeze that trigger and feel that recoil for himself, because it – he – had to have a nasty kick. Frag, he would give anything to feel that for himself.

“And—and what do you get out of this?”

“Relief from the processor-rusting boredom of not only being a prisoner, but unable to move at that,” Megatron explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. However, his voice took on something too much like a purr when he continued, “And it’s not every day I find such an appreciative audience. I would very much enjoy having an adorable little Autobot like yourself lapping at my muzzle.”

If Cliffjumper didn’t know better, he’d think his face was melting off from how boiling hot it felt.

His hands were clenched so tight he was scrapping paint off his palms.

“Better yet would be the desperate clenching of your valve as you come undone around my barrel.”

Cliffjumper managed to keep the whine from escaping his vocalizer.

However, he lost the battle with his interface array as his panel opened with an audible shlick.

“Shut up!” he spat when Megatron began to snicker, and despite himself, Cliffjumper reached up to offline the cell barrier.

Compared with the rest of the hefty weapon, Megatron’s stock seemed nearly delicate. Thin and round and long, the only interruption to its sleekness was the lip where one half could slide into the other to collapse the stock.

And that lip caught on Cliffjumper’s anterior node as he rocked his hips along the slick length, trapping the stock between his valve lips to rub himself against. A grunt escaped his open mouth and his hold on the grip tightened.

“Sensitive, aren’t you?”

“And you never shut up, do you?!” Cliffjumper complained as he pressed the stock harder against himself. Finding a position had been awkward, but finally the Autobot had settled for straddling the stock and leaning over the rest of the gun so the muzzle faced away from him. One hand braced against the berth while the other was wrapped around the grip of the gun, fingers stroking and squeezing the unyielding metal as best he could while holding the rest of the gun to his frame, slowly warming it with how hot his frame was in comparison.

Another roll of his hips had Cliffjumper’s node catching on the stock’s lip again and he groaned as he repeated the motion yet again.

“Yet you persist. Am I that that irresistible, Autobot?”

Cliffjumper hated how the taunting only had his hips bucking harder.

“Arrogant glitch!”

But there was no denying the fact that Cliffjumper couldn’t take his optics off the length of the gun. The weight of Megatron in his hand grounded him while the beautifully maintained chrome caught and held his attention as it glittered and shimmered with his every movement. His forefinger stroked the trigger guard longingly while he leaned further forward, following the lines of the barrel as he got close enough that it wouldn’t take any effort at all to close his lips around the side of the long cylinder.

His hot ex-vent fogged the sleek metal.

Cliffjumper licked his lips before gritting his teeth.

“Go on then. Why not take a little taste?”

As much as the minibot wanted to argue, the fact was he wanted that taste badly. Cliffjumper told himself that surely just one lick wouldn’t be so bad. Just along the side, nothing dangerous, just a taste.

One small stroke with the tip of his glossa though only made the cloying hunger in Cliffjumper’s spark worse, made the chasm of need that much deeper, and a whine was out of his mouth before he could stop it. Megatron tasted like cleaner and ions and smoke, and Cliffjumper opened his mouth wide to flatten his whole glossa around the curve of the barrel, dragging along the completely unmarred surface, letting his senses be consumed by the heady taste. It only strengthened the closer his glossa lapped towards the muzzle.

“Take what you want.”

Impulse beat out self-preservation. Cliffjumper had to tilt his chassis, letting his forehelm rest on the berth and his hips tilt up so that he could shift the angle of the gun. Within a few moments he managed to get it just right so the stock was still pressed hard against his valve but the muzzle was aimed right at his face.

And that managed to give him pause for a second as the realization of just how stupid this whole thing was hit him.

Unfortunately, it also set his face aflame and lubricant dripped freely along the stock.

Cliffjumper opened his mouth and shifted the gun -- Megatron -- until the muzzle was between his lips and his glossa could plunge into the interior of the barrel.

The taste was caustic and burned his glossa and his proccessor swam in the overwhelming rush of arousal.

His hips jerked down hard on the stock captured between his valve lips, his anterior node finding the stock’s lip again to grind back and forth across, and his calipers clenched on nothing as overload took Cliffjumper by surprise. Cliffjumper clamped his thighs together as a moaned curse tumbled out of his mouth, muffled around Megatron’s barrel.

“What a good little Autobot,” Megatron purred from between Cliffjumper’s legs, and the minibot hated how it prompted another throbbing wave of pleasure through his array.

Cliffjumper was quick to lift his helm up and away and spit out a “Frag you” as he pushed up onto his knees. Megatron’s barrel had lines of his oral fluid streaked across it, his hammer and scope had splatters of transfluid across them, and his stock was absolutely soaked, drips of lubricant falling from the length to pool on the berth. Cliffjumper’s frame shuddered at the mess he had left all over the gorgeous gun and the burning taste of danger on his glossa. A low simmering heat reignited in his array before it could even fully cycle down from the overload.

“I’d much rather frag you.”

Cliffjumper licked his lips and his calipers cycled opened in preparation for what it already knew he would let it have.

Megatron had been aimed right at his helm and hadn’t pulled his trigger.

Maybe couldn’t.

"Fine. Why the frag not?"

It was on his back, servo around Megatron's barrel as he pressed the muzzle in past the soaked rim of his valve, staring down at the Decepticon's gorgeous alt-mode as he pierced himself on it, that Cliffjumper finally noticed the way the scope glinted at him. It was slight, easy to miss.

"Can you see outta that thing?"

"Perhaps," Megatron answered, his tone amused as it had been the whole time, but there was something deeper to it now, gravelly in a way that put even his usual voice to shame. "Would that stop you?"

The edge of the muzzle grated along Cliffjumper's valve walls as he pulled it deeper, just on the edge of pain, and it pulled a moan from his lips.

"If your talking didn't, then I dunno why you think that would."

Megatron chuckled and the scope lens flickered again.

That was one question answered at least.

Not that it mattered really. Not when Cliffjumper had the long, unyielding length of Megatron's barrel pushing in, bit by bit, stretching him so gloriously.

Once Cliffjumper had as much of it as he dared press into his frame, he carefully pulled and pushed the gun, slowly thrusting it into himself.

"F-frag--hah!"

"Is that really all you can take, Autobot?"

Cliffjumper grit his dentae and offlined his optics, wondering if he couldn't just ignore Megatron as he took his pleasure. But only a few seconds passed before he gazed down the length of his body again, watched the way the Megatron’s barrel disappeared past his stretched rim. The most powerful gun Cliffjumper had ever held in his hands, and his throbbing valve was enveloping it in wet heat. Each time he dragged it out, the way his lubricant shone on the black metal was too gorgeous to not watch glitter.

"Come now. Let me fill you completely.”

Cliffjumper’s hips jerked and his hands pushed before he could even think to argue.

Inner calipers gave way and Cliffjumper threw his head back with a shout as the muzzle kissed the very back of his valve. His outer most calipers cycled down as the edge of the muzzle was engulfed, settling snuggly around the thinner barrel and holding the entirety of the muzzle inside his frame.

Keeping Megatron trapped in his fluttering valve as Cliffjumper overloaded around him.

Cliffjumper arched his back as he whimpered, defenseless against the raw pleasure assaulting his sensornet as he shuddered.

“Mmm. Very nice.”

“Get melted,” Cliffjumper muttered breathlessly, internally embarrassed by how little fight was actually in his voice. In fact, he sounded well fragged, static hissing around the edges. It was with trembling hands that Cliffjumper carefully pulled the gun from his abused valve, pausing when aftershocks would have him clenching around the muzzle again.

Once free, Cliffjumper set Megatron down on the berth next to him, parallel to his frame, and then offlined his optics to give himself a moment to come down from the charged high. His valve felt empty but satiated.

“You made such a spectacular spectacle that I suppose you deserve something as a reward, don’t you agree?”

Cliffjumper onlined one optic and turned his head to glower at Megatron.

“I got what I wanted.”

“True. But I imagine that this will only sweeten the memory.”

Before Cliffjumper could think of anything to say to that, Megatron’s alt-form started to hum in a way that had nothing to do with a vocalizer. Cliffjumpers sensory systems were blinded by bright light and a deafening blast. The shock was enough to have his frame moving instantly, jumping and pushing himself off the berth to roll onto the floor with a yelp.

When Cliffjumper managed to reboot his optics and online them, it was to see the gun falling from where it had slammed against the wall from recoil, clattering to the floor.

And when Megatron’s form finally settled, it was with the muzzle nearly aimed at Cliffjumper.

The minibot stared, mouth agape, legs splayed open and frozen in place while his spark thundered in his chest.

“You—you—!”

“I never actually said I couldn’t pull my own trigger,” Megatron supplied, his tone smug, clearly pleased with himself.

And, despite himself – despite the spark-chilling realization that he had placed his life at Megatron’s mercy for an overload – Cliffjumper’s frame shuddered and his valve throbbed.

That damned scope flickered again, watching him.

Frag. Frag, frag, frag.

“You really are a fragged up little Autobot, aren’t you?”

Megatron was teasing him, and worst still, it nearly sounded like praise as well.

Cliffjumper’s face burned and outrage flooded his systems.

With an audible snap his panels closed and Cliffjumper scrambled to his feet, his engine growling threateningly.

“I outta throw you in a smelter myself, you no good slag-sucking decepti-creep!”

Megatron cackled as Cliffjumper berated him, occasionally slipping into genuine laughter when Cliffjumper demanded he stop laughing because he was being serious, slaggit!

Worst still was that Cliffjumper couldn’t just leave. He was the guard on duty, so he couldn’t leave Megatron alone down here, and he definitely couldn’t leave all of the sticky evidence of his activities with the Decepticon prisoner behind for anyone to find. Cliffjumper was pretty sure he would rather take a bullet to the processor than have to face Optimus if his leader knew what he had done.

Cliffjumper was stuck with the mouthy Decepticon for the rest of his shift.

So if he got a little enjoyment out of thoroughly cleaning Megatron’s gun form from his muzzle down to the end of his stock while cursing him out, well, Cliffjumper deserved something for his trouble.

“Soundwave.”

His lieutenant didn’t so much as look at him, busy with decrypting the code that held Megatron trapped in his alt-form. There was no doubt in Megatron’s processor though that he was listening. If ever there was a mech capable of multitasking efficiently, it was Soundwave.

After all, he had managed to keep Starscream distracted while sending Ravage to slip into the Autobot base, rescuing Megatron before the Autobots could even come to a consensus on what to do with their prisoner.

“What’s the name of that red minibot?”

This time Soundwave’s head did swivel to face Megatron’s scope.

“Cassette’s designation is--”

“No, no, not Rumble.” Megatron paused for a moment when Soundwave continued to stare at him. “Or whichever one painted himself red this week. I mean an Autobot.”

Soundwave’s head tilted.

“Three Aubobot minibots feature red paint.”

“The one with horns then.”

“Two Autobot minibots fit that description.”

Megatron growled. “The trigger happy one then!”

Soundwave’s head straightened as he nodded and said, “Minibot’s designation is Cliffjumper.”

“Cliffjumper, hm? A fitting name.” Megatron watched as Soundwave returned his full focus on the code that would soon free him again.

He couldn’t help a quiet chuckle to himself.

A fitting name indeed, and one Megatron would be sure to remember.

[aparoxysm]

3,5,7,8,9,12,15,18,19,20

✿  Does anyone in real life know about your RPing hobby and what, if anything, have they said about it?

My parents know, because for as long as I’ve been on the internet, they’ve known that I like to write and write with friends overseas. My dad still calls it fanfiction somtimes to other people, like he’s proud of me or something, and that’s enough to make me want to never talk to him again out of embarrassment, ha, but I deal with it. Because I truly do love writing more than anything. Other than that, my boyfriend knows, but he doesn’t care about it / ask questions and I don’t really like to tell him about it either. I’m not as embarrassed about RP as I used to be, but I still feel like it’s just something for me that other people wouldn’t really understand the mechanics of. The only times my boyfriend and I do acknowledge it is when I start talking about an RP friend he hasn’t heard about before like a real life friend, so he’s like who dat and im like oh, new rp friend from > insert country

That being said, he actually did surprise me the other week and I have been holding onto it for fear life. We were complaining about a friend who literally just sleeps and watches Netflix all day when she’s not working, and he’s like “I don’t get how you can do that” and im like “Well I have friends online who claim to do that a lot. Me, personally, I’d get too bored.” and hes like “I just don’t get how people can do nothing all the time? Like at least with you and your online stuff, that’s still doing something. I just feel like that’s actually a hobby.” and I kind of didn’t hear whatever else it is he said because he actually ??? referred to my RP addiction as something valid and worthy??? and all this time i’ve assumed he didn’t get it and thought it was dumb??? IDK, it made me feel good.

✿  Have you considered writing professionally or do you have plans to?

Always. But I never will, I don’t think.

✿  How do you handle the toxicity sometimes found in the roleplaying community, particularly in fandoms?How has roleplaying, specifically, impacted your life?

I use tumblr savior to blacklist a lot, because it really gets too much for me to be exposed to it a lot, and it makes me feel shitty and not want to rp with certain people because of how they behave, or makes me feel guilty for how I behave… I usually drift away from things that give me major negative vibes, otherwise I become in great, exponential danger of saying something i’ll regret. I’ve hated Tumblr RP a lot in this last year. It’s nowhere near as relaxed as it used to be, and I know there’s a lot of political debate on the topic of equality but I am not comfortable in a space where I have to edit everything I do and say or just not do or say it at all. When it gets like that level, a good dose of the unfollow button and keeping my mouth shut is what I find the most helpful.

✿  How has writing improved your life and do you see yourself sticking with it?

When I graduated high school, I went to college for art and animation, and it basically ruined my creative life. Before RP, I used to be an avid drawer, I sketched every day, I improved my skills and motivation so much, everyone knew me as the girl who drew in class instead of did her work, the girl who was going to grow up and be a famous artist, and when I went to college, it killed that for me. My ego took a big blow because the tech side of the course absolutely annihilated me, i couldn’t do it. so after that (and that was 2 years ago now) i haven’t really drawn since. but the silver lining was that I took on RP more dedicatedly after that, and found that I truly adored writing. Try as I might, I’ve never really comitted to a personal writing project, and it’s only in the recent times that I’ve taken the pressure off for me to do it, but. RP makes me happy, it makes me feel like I’m doing something good when I reply to people or make new friendships, it makes me feel like I’m wanted and needed, that my characters and plots are valid and that other people would care if I’m here or not. It was a big boost for my self confidence, and it’s also made me so much more privy to the creative world, which i needed after that. so yeah, i see myself sticking with writing.

✿  Is there a quote from a piece of literature that holds great value to you? What is it and why is it important to you?

She stood in front of her closet mirror in her T-shirt and twisted this way and that. What’s wrong with me? She wondered. There was nothing the matter that she could see. She was tall and leggy, like her mother, with full breasts, small waist, and slim hips that curved enough to show she was female. Her skin was gently golden; it was always golden, sun or not, and her tawny hair was thick and long and wild. So why was it that groups of girls stopped talking when she approached them at school and answered her openings with tense words that killed the conversations she tried to start? Was she too good-looking? Was that possible? Was that the threat they saw? 

Legitimately, this was the first and pretty much only female protagonist I had ever read about who fully and whole-heartedly loved herself where it mattered. Sure, she still had her shortcomings and moments of weakness, but god damn, Vivian was so proud of herself and what she stood for, and that was so refreshing to see during that period of young adult fiction. It’s why she became my first favourite character from a book. And has pretty much inspired me to write feirce, aggressive, self-assured female characters ever since. I was just so inspired by her way of thinking as a young girl, it appealed to me so much and so that moment in the book plus a whole lot of others, really stuck with me.

✿  What do you typically look for in a roleplay partner?

Cliche, but chemistry. And not always in the writing kind but a lot in the OOC kind. I like people who I can talk to super easily, who write in the same tumblr language I do, who reference memes and are not afraid to hit me up with IMs and head canons, etc. I just love it because it makes me feel comfortable with a person, and like I’m not being a bother. The better I get to know a player, the better I get to know their character away from IC interactions. Likewise, I adore it when players get to know me so well that they read the patterns in my characters easily, and I don’t feel like I have to explain them all the time? It’s like they just know, and they know what path I want to put them on. I also look for honesty, people who are down to tell me what they’re feeling about a situation or whether something bothers them, or is able to voice if I’m doing something wrong. Most importantly though, I look for decisive people. Not overly decisive but it’s just so important for me to have someone who is like “yes that sounds good, i can start a thing for you if you want” or “i dont think that really fits, how about this plot idea instead?” I really cannot stand sending IMs to people about plots and characters and them just agreeing off the bat the whole time, but never really deciding on anything either, and so it makes me feel like i’m just paddling in a circle until i make all the decisions for us. To me, that’s not what RP is about. It involves teamwork, and effort, and to me, that’s not putting in effort. It gets me really frustrated.

✿  What made you want to join the roleplaying community?

I kept seeing bios in celebrity tags, and so when i sussed out what group rp was on tumblr, i was like holy shit there is a name for the thing i have been doing with friends over email for so many years???? and you can use PICTURES? i gotta get on this.

so somehow, i found a group rp that allowed mythical creatures, i wanted to be a peter pan mermaid, and the rest is history~~

✿  What one piece of literature has been most inspirational/life changing for you? Why?

(( Blood & Chocolate, by Anette Curtis Klause — because of the main character, as per mentioned. She’s inspired me to write full-on, aggressive, assertive, don’t-tell-me-what-i-can-and-cant-do female characters without apology. ))

The Truth About Forever  by Sarah Dessen — it’s hard to explain exactly why, and it doesnt even just involve ONE of her books either, but they’ve kind of shaped my whole general character story directions?? her books always follow a pattern and i really admire that pattern, even if it is repetitive, and i am secretly a hopeless romantic so i really like how her love stories evolve. it’s always slow burning, the boy is usually a direct surprising love interest, and the girl always gains new friends and family out of it, and the stories always involve a nice little reoccurring theme. In the Truth About Forever, it’s a game that she and a boy plays throughout the entire book, which eventually leads to a shift from friendship to something more. THAT PLOT HAS APPEALED TO ME EVERY SINCE. the example of a teeny, tiny, otherwise-completely-average moment greatly impacting the rest of a characters life with someone else… i am weAK for this concept ok. her females are always usally feircely independent too and that gets me ♥

✿  Who are your top three favorite fictional characters and why?

Vivian Gandillon (Blood & Chocolate) — i swear i could go on repeat forever haha, but i’ve basically already mentioned why.

Jace Herondale (Shadowhunter Series) — back when the first like, two books had only been published, i super fell hard for this series and it was straight up because of the commentary done by Jace and his ability to senselessly bicker with everybody in his path. his comments to me, were always absolutely hysterical. i was so in love with his wry and witty comments, especially the way he kept at ease and casual through super distressing situations, and i really wish id kept reading the rest of the series as it was published, but i seriously fell behind. then the movie came out. then the netflix series. now i’ve grown too far out of it and having to see the cast on my dash every second of every day makes me want to burn the books.

Shane Collins (Morganville Vampire Series) — this is an oooold old series that i used to read religiously, and it was more in the style of anita blake and buffy vampires~ rather than twilight and true blood -esque content. it got really weird and complicated though so i gave up on it, but for a time, i adored it. and i loved shane because he was hilariously human, he hated everybody except his housemates (though sometimes that could be questioned) and nobody held a grudge better than him. he had a knack for getting in trouble, usually on his own accord, was feircely protective and spent most of his time just being a genuine nuisance and temper tantrum thrower. i saw a lot of me in him, and idk. i just like people with tempers, i think it makes them super fun to read. 

[ritarmandi]

Describe Yourself In Three Fictional Characters

So @yourbestmate tagged me a long-long-long time ago. I’ve no idea what I’m doing right now, because I’m not able to describe myself because of my self-knowledge issues.... Tough I’m doing my best to find some attribution which is quite similar with someone. (Note: finally I chose one person. :) )

Stiles Stilinski

I know, I know... Maybe this sounds crazy when you’ve seen it first. But believe me, it’s not because I like him and hence I’m trying to force his personality into my one. The thing is I can understand his character quite good, because I think we have something in common. However, I have to emphasize I know I have nothing to do with Stiles from Season 1 and 2 - okay, maybe just a little bit. But I’m more likely Stiles from Season 3 and up nowdays.

So let’s see

 - Stiles is smart and knows random facts what he likes to share in the most illogical moments. 

This is literally me. However I’m not considering myself smart enough, I can speak about random idiotic topics for hours, and share a complete collections of knowledge about how was forexample the investigation history of Jack The Ripper - and of course I’m doing it in the middle of a family dinner. Well.... Also I’m that kind of person who is able to write an essay about male circumstansation and is able to enjoy it. My life is ridicolous. xD

- He’s a geek, and he uses a tones of different pop-cultural references.  

If you’ve ever speaked with me, or have ever read any of my fanfics than you know that I always coming up with random pop cultural references, and it’s natural that I can connect LOTR, TW, SW, HP, GOT etc. to anything anytime. There is no conversation with me without some geek-talking. Also @nosetothewind94 is the living proof that I always want to compare myself to fictional characters - who are not fitting with my personality, but who cares. :) (Just like Stiles)

 - Stiles is witty, clever and very sarcastic - even sometimes cynic. 

My sense of humor is so ironic-sarcastic-cynic that even I can’t understand it sometimes - just kidding. xD

- Also Stiles is using this kind of humor to protect himself from the world. Using sarcasm is a way to live through situations what are dark, bad, or difficult to process. And I think slowly sarcasm is able to change cynism. 

Well, this happened with me, not just with Stiles. However, I love those kind of humor. Shoot me.

 - Stiles is playing with words, he would be a very good lawyer in a way. (I’m not imagining him as a lawyer, but he has the ability. I think the way he’s able to confuses people with his quick, clever, word-twisting way is amazing.) 

Well, I’m definietly not amazing, but I’m a lawyer, and I’m able to produce such a long, mind twisting sentences, that it is almost impossible to understand. xD And just like Stiles, i’ve the ability to explain myself out from situations. 

 - Stiles loves mysteries, he loves to solve them, also he’s totally into invetigations, crimes, criminology, forensics and criminal justice in general. Also he has the mind to find the connections between cases. 

Well...as far as you know me, than you should know, I’m in love with criminal justice related stuffes for ages - more precisely since my age of 6. I guess we’re similar with our favourite boy, who is sneaking out to a forest during night just for find a dead body... (I’m not saying I haven’t done anything like that.... I’m NOT saying.) Also I LOVE when I finally understand something, and everything is clicked on my mind, and there is the connection what I’ve searched for. 

 - To Stiles his friends and family is more important than anything else. He literally sacrificed himself just to save his dad. He is prepared to step into the oil with Scott. He always put his friends and family in front of himself, even if those people are not recognize his acts, or just accept it, because it’s natural to them that Stiles is there all the time, and he’s solving all their problems, or help to them. BUT  I’ve to enhance that he is doing this because he WANTS to help.

For me, my friends are in the first place, and I allow somtimes too much to my family  - sometimes also to my friends - because I want to give them comfort and help. And I’m that kind of person who is obscuring his feelings just to save her loved ones - just like Stiles. In the same time both me and Stiles are very sensitive, and we have lot’s of feelings and high functioning EQ besides IQ - holy shit, this was my ego speaking, hi there! xD. Also I literally say sentences to my friends as peptalks all the time just like Stiles does.

 - So I mentioned Stiles was sacrificed himself for his dad and friends - both  literally and figuratively -,  because he feels it in his heart and bones he has to do that - even if he says it otherwise. I think he just loves them so much that his feelings are winning over his mind; and he doesn’t care what kind of effects his acts would have into his own life. But these effects are tragical in a way: because he has to fight with his own mind and has to collect his own pieces. He has insomnia, and panic attacks, he’s anxious and he’s terrified what is happening with him. Still, he’s fighting. 

I’ve never cared about my own feelings - because other people are always more important than myself -, and however I was not killed by after a vet-but-druid’s crazy idea just to resurrect my parents, but I know how it is feels, when you feel you have to protect your loved ones from the world and sometimes - just like in the case with the nogitsune Stiles has to - from himself. 

I’m dealing with panic attacks, insomnia and anxiety. It has lot of reasons why I have problems like this - and now I’m in that kind of state when finally after years I’m able to speak about this. So, one of the reasons is that I’m an adopted child, and it’s not the same to looose a parent like Stiles did. But the psychological process behind it the same: My biological mum for me is not alive - it’s that kind of loss what has effects on my life. And not so long time ago my adopted mum - who I call MOM - said to me that I’m a parasite in her life, and she is not feeling herself a real mother. It is still not the same, but after this conversation I felt I not just lost my biological mother and than my mom, so my panic attacks started that time around. The main point, that I can understand little Stiles who had - and still has - problems  with his mother’s death, and I can understand he’s balming himself, because I’m doing the same.. I can understand why he can’t sleep later - I know there is the nogitsune, but later, after the nogitsune Stiles whole attitude was changed because of guilt, the lack of self-confidence, and the fear of his own mind (what it is able to do with him and with his friends). Yeah, I haven’t been possessed by an evil fox spirit, but the results and the problems are similar. Sometimes I’m stucked with my own mind, and screaming like Stiles did, and I’d like to wake up, but I can’t - just like Stiles couldn’t.

 - Finally - because this post is more longer than it should be - there is that change what I mentioned: after the nogitsune Stiles attitude became darker. His sarcasm slowly changed into cynicism - not all the time, because he still has that fantastic sarcasm what is his “trademark” -, but his way of thinking changed: it’s darker, he’s suspicious, he’s prepared to fend off  any kind of attacks, and he’s prepared to attack. He’s not able to trust as easy as before. He’s more anxious than before. 

I think these kind of experiences are able to change us. The last two years I’ve to lived through stuffes what changed me. The way how I’m watching the world is changed into this all-time-prepared attitude what Stiles has now. And we both have very complicated trust issues. Both Stiles and me are able to switch into a darker, suspicious view within minutes; we can prepare for the worst, because we have to.

 - And finally here is this moment:

I think this is The Stiles who is hidden under that much sarcasm and cynism; under the funy reposts. This is The Stiles who sacrificed everything, he gave up everything, who is broken under the mask he is wearing. And this was the exact moment, when it was too much, when Scott’s ignorance was enough to him, when all the shit he was going trought was enough to him. It’s him, as he wants some  understanding, he wants some love and support, because it was too much, it was enough. 

Also that three sentences are perfect. I think it’s us, it’s everyone: because we can’t be perfect. We’re humans because we do mistakes, because we’re able to do both amazing and horrifying things. I love Stiles’s way how he expressed this: we can’t be perfect, and that’s okay, because perfection is just an illusion what we’re lying to ourselfs. We can’t hide ourselfes and wearing a mask all the time, or we can’t live an illusin. We have to accept our - and others -  mistakes, and the same time the world has to accept us just like as we are. 

As for me... Well, let’s be enough to say It is completly me. 

So this is me. Jesus, i maybe overdid this a little bit? xD 

I think I’m tagging the following friends:  @pale-silver-comb , @im-a-feather-in-the-wind , @remushroozley , @ivoriholmes , @sterekohtp

I’m sure someone asked this from you before me, so it is okay to me, if you just ignore this post.  Or -  if you have time - and you already answered it, but I missed, that would be awsome if you tagged me, or give me a link maybe to your previous answer. :) Because I’m really curious. :)