#sometimes. the moral choice. is the wrong one
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ââ .⊠DAY FIVE | [02/18] : TOM. ⥠âËâč
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prythian's princess presents... day five of the valentine special â.Ë .á this one is dedicated to my love, my darling, my angel @writingsbychlo who wholeheartedly understands my need to be stalked and chased through the woods by tommy.
[stalking] â unwanted and/or repeated surveillance or contact by an individual toward another person.
[voyeurism] â the practice of obtaining sexual gratification from observing others while they are naked or engaged in sexual activity.
home ⊠special ⊠more
tom riddle knew that what he was doing was wrong.
the problem was that he simply did not care.
he wasn't weighed down by silly notions of morals and virtues. while most people subscribed to the archaic notion of good and evil, tom was more realistic. in truth, the choices and actions one made were very rarely so black and white. often, they fell somewhere between right and wrong; a morally grey area in which tom chose to operate.
all his life, he toed the proverbial line, testing the boundaries of ethics. most of the time, the acts he committed were neither completely right or completely wrong, which allowed for plausible deniability. this time though, even tom couldn't deny his own immorality. stalking you was undeniably and irrevocably wrong, but he simply did not care.
the black lake lapped against the shore as he took cover behind a tree. from his hiding place, tom had a clear view of you walking down to the edge of the pier, looking behind you every now and then to ensure that you were alone. you werenât. though you were completely unaware of his presence, tom accompanied you for every one of your nightly swims.
as always, you toed your shoes off and stripped off your shirt and skirt. most nights, you wore a skimpy bikini, but sometimes you skipped it altogether and swam in your bra and panties instead. tonight, tom peered out from the cover of darkness as you unhooked your bra and slipped your panties off. the moonlight glistened against your skin, tracing your curves and edges in a way that tom would kill to be able to do. he drank in your ethereal expression, head tilted up to the skies as the night cascaded down your long, elegant neck, between the valley of your breasts where your nipples stiffened against the cold air, trailing down to your supple ass and succulent thighs.
the goddess of beauty herself had nothing on you, tom thought. the very image of your naked body would be burned into his memory like a brand. this would be what he thought about when he got himself off later, imagining that it was your delicate hand wrapped around his cock. tom felt the front of his pants tighten at the thought, groaning at the stiffness of his erection.
the noise drew your attention and you looked over your shoulder, scanning the beach warily. for a second, tom could have sworn that your gaze snagged on his hiding spot, almost as if you sensed his presence. watching, waiting, wanting.
tom had always been careful, but something about the way you bit your lip in anticipation made him consider throwing caution to the wind. he lurked in waiting, the tension weighing heavy as you turned around to fully face the shore.
âI know youâre there, tom.â the soft breeze carried the cadence of your lovely voice, its call like a siren song in his hears.
all these months, tom thought that he had been careful. he purposely watched from a distance, following you only when there was no one else present, sneaking into your dorm and installing cameras while you were in class. outside of these clandestine meetings, tom never even acknowledged you. he was so certain that you were none the wiser to his obsession, but clearly he had been wrong in his assumptions.
âdonât be shy,â you rasped as your lips curved up into a devious smile. âiâm not mad. in fact, i've grown rather fond of our little rendezvous. though it does seem unfair that you get to see all of me while I never see you.â
tom stepped out of the darkness, his brow furrowed in confusion. âyou knew?â he questioned, racking his brain for any indication of your knowledge. âhow long have you been aware?â
âa while,â you said nonchalantly. âI feltâŠyour presence. watching me. following me. stalking me.â
âwhy havenât you said anything?â
âbecause,â you drawled, pretty doe eyes tracking his movements as he came closer and closer. âitâs thrilling. knowing that youâre out there, tracking my every move like youâre a predator and iâm your prey. it makes me feel special. it makes me feel wanted.â
âbut most importantly,â tom paused in his tracks as you pressed your naked body against him, delicate hands traveling under his robe to slide down his chest. âit makes me fucking horny.â
his breath hitched at the fucked up confession, pupils blown out as you palmed his erection. âiâm willing to bet that the feeling is mutual.â
tom groaned, melting under your touch. he felt like he was in a dream that he never wanted to wake from. âyou have no fucking idea, doll.â
you grinned as you slid off his robe, letting it pool by his feet while your deft fingers made quick work of the buttons on his shirt. âwhy donât you show me, tommy?â he watched with a dazed expression as you waded into the water, the waves lapping around your legs while you smirked. âwell? arenât you coming in?â
tom shed his clothes in mere seconds and followed after you. he remained silent as you threaded water, leading him to a small alcove hidden from the rest of the beach. a small smile tugged at your lips from how eager he was, standing before you with lust filled eyes. you ran your hands down his body, nails raking against his solid chest, his bulging biceps, and his perfectly toned abs.
âweâre all alone now,â you whispered seductively. âthe poor little dove finds herself in the jaws of a snake. tell me, tommy, do you plan on swallowing me whole?â
tom growled as he grabbed your chin, his fingers digging into your skin as his mouth crashed against yours. the heat of his kiss was punishing, taking you under as you lost yourself in the feel of him. you moaned when his tongue pushed past the seam of your lips, devouring and consuming you from the inside out.
your stiffened peaks pressed against his tanned chest, sending shivers down your spine as he backed you into the rocky wall of the alcove. tomâs lips never left yours as he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as his hard cock pressed against your stomach. precum smeared against his abs as he throbbed in your hands, so thick and veiny as you pumped him between kisses.
tom pulled away, his cheeks flushed and his waves matted across his forehead as one errant curl defied the rest of his hair and swooped down over his eyes. he looked so delicious that you just couldnât help yourself. without warning, you positioned him over your entrance and sank down onto his cock with a moan.
âfuck,â tom growled. âoh fuck, doll, youâre so fucking tight.â
âplease, tommy,â you pleaded, nails raking across his back as you grinded against him. âI need you to fuck me.â
the air left your lungs when tom growled against your neck. the two of you watched his cock slide inside of you, pulling it out to the tip just to slam it all back inside again. the way he fucked was so feral, so animalistic, that you were sure you were ruined for any other man. tom didnât hold back, he didnât hesitate as he fucked you until your back arched and your thighs trembled.
âyes, god, split me apart with your cock,â you screamed as you dug your nails into his back. âyou feel so fucking good.â
âyeah? you like when your stalker fucks you, doll?â tom said with a dark chuckle. âyouâre so fucking wet for me, so turned on for all the fucked up things iâve done. the fucked up things I will do. youâre just a whore for this cock, arenât you?â
âfuck yes,â you screamed in pleasure. âiâm a whore for you, tommy.â
tom grunted as he came into his hands, his sticky cum covering his fingers as his body slumped against the tree. in the middle of the black lake, you continued swimming laps under the inky black sky, unaware of the filthy fantasy that tom had just gotten himself off to. he cleaned himself off, pulling up his trousers and tucking his shirt back into place while you were none the wiser.
for now, this secret of him would remain safe, but tom knew it wouldnât last much longer. one day, the desire would grow too strong for him to fight. one day, he would succumb to all his dark urges and impulses.
one day, tom would come for you.
#this is clearly a cry for help i'm unwell I fear#tom riddle#tom riddle smut#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle x y/n#tom riddle fanfiction#tom riddle x you#tom marvolo riddle#christian coulson#slytherin boys
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Actually.
Final final post.
Can you tell my momâs favorite movie was Fight Club? And her favorite rapper Eminem?
#I remember being like âmom heâs rapping about hurting women. what do you think that saysâ#âwell Annaka IâM not hurting women. I just hate that bitchâ#and fought with her#but now I see it#I see what the last decade and a half of fandom did to art#sometimes. the moral choice. is the wrong one
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You know I'm realizing one reason you keep seeing mdzs modern AUs where the Jiang parents are alive mainly so they can dramatically fail and betray Wei Wuxian by cutting him off financially--defaulting on his college tuition or formally disowning him etc--isn't just that people want to translate the Burial Mounds II arc into modern terms while keeping Jiang Cheng clean of it.
(Despite the fact that the internal logic of Jiang Cheng's character is largely built around him being a person who would abandon someone he intensely cared about under these specific circumstances.)
It's because it's hard to set up a modern analogue for the way that Jiang Cheng is responsible for Wei Wuxian, as his Sect Leader.
We live in a highly individualistic society. People are trying to write Wei Wuxian Tragically Wronged, and because there's a normative expectation that people in the position of parents will provide you with resources, and certainly won't withdraw them without warning, but no such assumption that people in the position of siblings necessarily owe each other support, making this work in modern setting with Jiang Cheng in his canon role would require a lot of extra work, just to get a less readily resonant result.
But I keep thinking about it. Because something that's getting lost here is, not just the nuances of character and relationship, but like...it's sort of key to the story that cutting Wei Wuxian off was, in fact, Completely Socially Appropriate.
The level on which it was a betrayal is subtle, and deeply cutting. And intensely tied up in the very different opinions each of Jiang Cheng's parents had about what obligations existed in their family wrt Wei Wuxian, and what these meant.
The level on which it was the obvious, normal course of action is blatant. That is to a huge extent why it happens: because Jiang Cheng's instinct to conform is a survival instinct, reinforced by trauma, and Wei Wuxian's choices meant he had no coherently compelling reason not to obey it, and enormous peer pressure to do so.
The fact is that Jiang Cheng was making a reasonable choice, the actual thing 'anyone would do in that situation,' unlike Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao's respective wildly warped ideas about what that is.
Wei Wuxian wasn't betrayed by Jiang Sect like your foster parents cutting you off because you're disobedient. Wei Wuxian was betrayed by Jiang Sect like your brother refusing to drop fifty grand to bail you out of jail.
Of course Wei Wuxian tells him not to. And of course the fact that Jiang Cheng already chose in the moment not to pay a cent because Fuck You Wei Ying still stands there glaring, a precedent that can never be taken back.
And then later he's betrayed by Jiang Cheng like your brother cooperating with a police investigation into a manslaughter you really did commit, that's being handled like domestic terrorism. And then like your brother calling the cops on you. And then like your brother helping the cops find where you're hiding.
I'm personally fascinated by the way Jiang Cheng's lifelong resentment for the way Jiang Fengmian reliably bailed Wei Wuxian out of everything informed those decisions to do the normal thing, the way he's reacting against his dead father as well as against Wei Wuxian and the actual situation.
But even without that daddy issues angle, the fact that the person who made that choice was Jiang Cheng, and that it was simultaneously the reasonable appropriate normal upstanding citizen rational thing to do and so shitty Wei Wuxian would be entitled never to forgive it is sort of. The Point.
Of the scenario, and also to a considerable degree of the entire finely tuned narrative construct that is Jiang Cheng.
#hoc est meum#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#meta#like sometimes people commit transgressions#and you have to actually decide what that means to you#what you're willing to let them cost you#whether you agree that that transgression deserves punishment#and even if it does what role you're willing to take in that process#jiang cheng is someone whose sense of right and wrong operates along emotional and pragmatic axes before consulting the moral#which means that without being a *bad* person he's someone who's highly susceptible to pressure#as long as it comes from either a superior or Society At Large#especially if his insecurities get tripped#but like sometimes just for example it's illegal to be gay#or people have less rights because of who their parents were#and those instincts can lead you into bad choices#it's good to be able to set boundaries but jiang cheng is not good at setting them where he personally actually wants them#and when he does they're the boundaries Angry Jiang Cheng wants#and calmed-down jiang cheng just has to live with them#which ofc is something that applies to wwx too in very different ways#the fact that BOTH jiang cheng and lan xichen when the chips are down choose society over their respective halves of wangxian#at one crucial point#and that lan xichen does so in a way that he can live with and not withdraw from the relationship because of#while jiang cheng is almost insane with the need for wei wuxian to deserve everything that happened to him#and how much of that is who they are as people?#and how much is that lan wangji is not dead#and how much is it that lan xichen understands exactly what happened and why#while jiang cheng doesn't and can't so he has to make up his own story to make sense of it#so much going on here
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you guys know stuff can just be neutral right. like it doesn't have to be good or bad it can just Be ykwim like sometimes an experience is Weird but that doesn't necessarily imply that it was good or bad sometimes things are just so unfamiliar that the sheer novelty overrides having an opinion about it. sometimes you hear someone's died, but it's no one you knew or would ever know and it's so many degrees of separation from the source that they have no emotional investment in it either and that's not automatically a tragedy OR a relief it's just a statement of fact.
sometimes stuff just Is. and it's okay that it is.
#i often preface statements or questions with 'this is morally neutral'#especially when I'm using words like 'manipulate'#because the default assumption of that word is negative but sometimes I just mean it as cause and effect#I know a lot of people ask questions that have An Answer and if you say the wrong one you are bad#the classic like how does my ass look in these jeans or do you think [third party] is attractive#or even where do you want to have dinner but we will end up at a specific place regardless#anyway so many people do that but they spoil the questions for like decent normal curious people#sometimes I feel like I have to be like i am not emotionally invested in a particular answer#sometimes you feel the exact same about every choice and it's genuinely about what's true#a lot of people don't really care about what's true though
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lowkey always thinking about how claire is painted ( in universe ) as this saint / mother theresa type of woman and it's carried on to the point that times and times again she was willing to be a martyr for the cause - especially if it ensured the end of all suffering that has turned inside out not only her life but also the whole world's for better or worse. ID is the most prominent instance because she's aware her head would blow up before she even manages to go anywhere with the chip... but it's worth a try and it's really all that matters to her. the silence about it that she's kept all the years afterwards only highlight how in spite of her reputation, she's a little stained too.
#saint redfield patron of lost causes ( and she's the first in the line )#every time someone kidnaps her claire pushes their buttons to the limit and one of these days it's gonna blow in her face i just know#one thing about the mains they'd all be willing to sacrifice even tho it's for nothing#dylan was not wrong she is complicit. maybe not about harvardville or neil but rest... yeah totally#not like she had much choice but still. she had her maps and intel from the investigation and still did nothing#'i will find another way' but then really took a seat back gfhj i know dylan touched a nerve in that prison cell scene#and it also highlights how despite everything the mains can be a little gray moral sometimes#after all jill refused to kill claire even when the outcome would have been so obvious she would have killed taylor#just the way claire didn't want to throw leon under the bus by exposing the whitehouse. don't get me started on chris lmao#i love them i need to know more about which lengths they would actually go for each other#đđđđŒ đđđ'đđ đœđ đđđđ! ⯠ooc
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I always wondered about when Henry said (and I think he was talking to Lydia or someone about it) that before getting to the Kingdom, his father and brother were pretty messed up and that it took a long time and a lot of kindness to change that, and I always wanted to know about that, like I wanted to see what Henry meant about it. I also honestly wanted to know what happened to both of them before they got to the Kingdom and how it affected their personalities and everything. Iâm just really curious about Henryâs quote cause it puts Benjaminâs character into a little clearer light with his actions throughout S7 episodes, especially the episode where he has trouble killing a walker that comes at him. I just am really curious to find out what Henry meant and also how they lost their mom, as I think that could be part of the whole thing. Heâs also very quick to jump in and protect people, with an almost knee jerk reaction (like jumping in against Jared when he took Morganâs Bo Staff, Etc.) so Iâm wondering what happened in his past before the Kingdom.
Also I think both Henry and Ben deserved so much more :(
#henry sutton#benjamin twd#benjamin sutton#the walking dead#just give these two a crossbow each and have Daryl mentor them into total badasses#both of them deserved better#thanks twd for killing off their potential :(#yes Iâm salty about this#why canât one of my favorite characters just survive?#also ben and henry both have a huge moral sense of whatâs right and wrong even through all theyâve seen and been through and I love that#twd#you can really see Ben when you look at Henry in the later choices Henry makes (except not the reckless ones)#also Benjamin sometimes shows signs of ptsd or something and I wanted to point that out cause I noticed it
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Some Tips for writing internal conflict
Wanting Two Things at Once Imagine your character really wants to chase after something big, like a dream school, a major opportunity, or maybe even moving to a new city. But at the same time, theyâre terrified of leaving behind everything theyâve ever known. Or maybe theyâre in a relationship thatâs holding them back, but they canât bring themselves to let go. Show them getting pulled in two directions, torn between their ambition and their fear of losing the people or places that ground them.
Right vs. Wrong Sometimes, your character will know deep down what the right choice is, but itâs the most difficult one to make. Like, maybe they see someone getting bullied and know they should stand up, but doing so could make them a target. Or maybe they have to decide between helping a friend and doing something that could ruin their own future. These moral dilemmas create intense internal conflict because it forces them to question who they are and what they stand for.
Doubting Themselves We all have moments where we wonder if weâre enough, smart enough, strong enough, brave enough. Let your character wrestle with that same doubt. Maybe theyâre the kid who has always been told theyâre special, but now theyâre in a place where everyone is just as good, and they start to wonder if they even belong. Or maybe theyâve been through something tough, and theyâre not sure if they can bounce back. These moments of insecurity make your character feel human, like theyâre trying to figure it all out, just like everyone else.
Dreams vs. Fears Show your character dreaming big but getting frozen by their own fears. Itâs like wanting to ask someone out but being terrified of rejection, or wanting to move away for college but being scared to leave home. Let them imagine all the things that could go wrong , that moment when fear makes them doubt if they should even try. But also show their desire burning just as strong, making it impossible to ignore. Thatâs the heart of internal conflict: theyâre stuck between wanting something so bad and being afraid of what itâll cost to go after it.
Beliefs Being Challenged As your character grows, the world will start challenging their beliefs. Maybe they grew up in a family that drilled certain values into them, and now theyâre meeting people who see things differently. Or maybe theyâre experiencing something new, and itâs changing their perspective. Itâs like when you think you have everything figured out, and then life throws something at you that makes you go, "Wait, maybe Iâve been wrong this whole time." This kind of internal conflict is powerful because it forces the character to question who theyâve always been.
Keeping Secrets If your character is hiding something, like a mistake they made, feelings theyâre afraid to admit, or a truth they donât want to face, that secret becomes a huge part of their internal conflict. The fear of being found out or of dealing with the consequences can create a constant pressure in their mind. Maybe theyâre scared theyâll lose their friends if the truth comes out, or maybe theyâre dealing with guilt they canât shake. The tension comes from their battle to keep it hidden while knowing they canât keep it locked away forever.
Pressure from Everyone Your character might feel like theyâre trapped between what they want for themselves and what everyone else wants from them. It could be pressure from parents, who have their whole future planned out, or pressure from friends to fit in or follow the crowd. Maybe your character wants to be true to themselves, but theyâre scared of disappointing people or standing out too much. This kind of internal conflict is super relatable because, at some point, everyone feels like theyâre stuck between living for themselves and living for others.
Fear of Failing Sometimes the biggest obstacle isnât the external challenge but the internal fear of failure. Your character might have big dreams, but theyâre paralyzed by the thought of messing up. Whether itâs competing in a sport, performing on stage, or just trying something new, the fear of not being good enough can be overwhelming. Maybe theyâre afraid that if they fail, everyone will see them differently, or worse, that theyâll see themselves differently. The internal conflict comes from their desire to succeed battling against their crippling fear of failure.
#writing#writerscommunity#writer on tumblr#writing tips#character development#writing advice#oc character#writing help#writer tumblr#writblr#writing prompt#novel writing#creating ocs
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One area where I feel like modern storytelling has let us down is this:
Sometimes you have to choose between evils.
I'm not talking about "situations in which it is unclear who is actually the villain" -- IMO there are too many of those stories recently -- but stories where it's clear that the good guys have no good options. Where the only choice you can make is the wrong one, because all of the choices are wrong, because not choosing is also a choice. Where the best you can do is to choose the lesser evil, or maybe, the greater good.
Because the preponderance of stories in which the hero, through virtue of his heroism, manages to make a good choice appear when the narrative has set him up to fail leads people to have little or no framework for making such a choice.
Because -- and let me be painfully clear about this -- in life there is often no good choice. The best you can hope for is the lesser evil.
But too many people have a moral framework wherein only bad people can choose a bad option, so when only bad options present themselves, people...... don't choose? Which is also a choice, and usually a worse one. Or they insist that if people only try hard enough, are "good" enough, then a good choice will present itself.
Most of the time, that doesn't happen. Most of the time, you have to choose harm reduction over harm abolition, and wishing the world were different, were better, means the world just gets worse while you sit around waiting.
#i'm sorry but i'm old and tired#and i don't have space or patience for wishing the world were other than it is#hold that dream in your head and work towards it#that's fine#but in the meantime interact with the world how it is now#it's all we have
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venus notes. đ©°
Disclaimer. these observations do not have to resonate with everyone and everything, all expressed in this post is based on personal experience and research.
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(comment down your venus sign & posts which you guys would like to see from my side in the future)
masterlistđȘ·
đ©° aries venus
Venus in Aries? Super passionate! Aries is all about passion and action, while Venus is love, beauty, and relationships. So, if you've got this combo, you're all in for fiery romance. You're into your partner big time, always wanting to keep things exciting and new. You might even be the one who starts things off. Quick to fall for someone, you dig that rush of feelings, especially if your crush gets all possessive. Yep, you can get obsessed too, thinking they're "the one". But sometimes, you pick the wrong ones, drawn to the drama. You dive in headfirst, but your passion fades fast if the fire ain't burning. You thrive on arguments or a partner who's a bit aggressive â it's just your style. Love's a thrill for you, so you act on impulse, not always taking it seriously. You're into the chase, but deep down, you want someone who's all in. You're attracted to ambitious, independent types, but in the relationship, you like to be the boss. Bold? Oh yeah! You'll straight-up tell your crush you're into them. Sure, you care about others, but yourself? That's priority. Sometimes, it causes issues in relationships, 'cause you fear losing your freedom. You'll find any excuse to be with your crush, even if it means dragging out a dry convo. Depending on how much you're into them, you might show your wild side early or play it cool. And when you're crushing, hygiene's on point, and you're dressing to impress. You won't admit your feelings outright, but you'll drop hints like crazy.
đ©° taurus venus
Venus in Taurus is renowned for instilling a profound sense of security, stability, and comfort. Individuals with this placement often take pleasure in savoring life's finer aspects, finding delight in material possessions and indulgences. Their relational and moral approach is frequently characterized as traditional or "old-fashioned". They tend to prioritize commitment and steadfastness in romantic connections, upholding conventional values in matters of love. Despite potentially limited romantic experience, those with Venus in Taurus display considerable wisdom in relationships. They exhibit a preference for actions over verbal expressions of affection, recognizing the unreliability of words at times. Their demonstrations of love are earnest and heartfelt, reflecting their belief in the significance of genuine affection. While they may refrain from overtly pursuing individuals they admire, they possess a magnetic allure that draws others toward them. Often possessing physical attractiveness themselves, they appreciate similar qualities in their partners, valuing aesthetics in relationships. Patience is a virtue for those with Venus in Taurus, as they are willing to await the arrival of a dependable, well-established partner. However, this patience can sometimes lead them to remain in unsatisfactory relationships or jobs due to concerns about financial security or other forms of stability. Despite their investment in relationships, individuals with this placement may harbor apprehensions about potential emotional hurt, which can result in them setting boundaries in love. Their cautious approach may deter them from readily reciprocating romantic advances, yet they remain dedicated once committed. They are drawn to ambitious individuals with financial stability, reflecting their own values and aspirations. While they maintain a private stance on their romantic interests, they are discerning in their choice of confidants. Fear of rejection and a desire to maintain a flawless image may occasionally hinder their pursuit of love, yet they persist in their quest for perfection in matters of the heart.
đ©° gemini venus
If your Venus is in Gemini, you're into folks who know how to talk the talk. You're all about people who are smooth talkers, good in social situations, and just plain smart. But sometimes, you get too caught up in what people say and forget to pay attention to what they do, which can cause some mix-ups. You're into exploring different kinds of beauty, art, and love styles, and you can find love in lots of places, not just with a partner. In fact, having a significant other isn't always at the top of your mind. You can be hot and cold in love, one day you're all about someone, the next they're not even on your radar. Commitment? It's not that you can't do it, but you're kinda wary of getting too deep. You like to keep things cool and smooth when you're into someone, remembering all those little details. You're after someone you can connect with on a brainy level, not just an emotional one. So yeah, you might seem a bit distant at times. But hey, you're charming as heck, so people are drawn to you. You're the friendly type, always ready to start a chat and get to know someone better. And when you're crushing, you want to be the one who makes them laugh, so watch out if someone else steals their attention! Before you get all chatty and flirty, though, you keep your feelings under wraps. Seriously, no one can tell you're into someone until you're ready to spill the beans. Gemini Venus adds a playful, fun vibe to your romantic life, and you're all about finding someone who can match your energy and keep things exciting. But deep down, you want more than just fun â you're looking for someone you can really connect with on a deeper level.
đ©° cancer venus
People with Venus in Cancer are super loving. When they fall for someone, they fall hard and fast. When they like someone, they're not subtle about it. They'll either come off as rude or super friendly, no in-between. But with their crush, they'll turn on the charm, trying to be adorable and impress them. They'll pay attention to every little detail and practice what to say in their head. They need lots of reassurance and security in relationships, or they'll feel unloved. But when they feel safe and loved, they're amazing partners. They remember every little thing about you, seriously, everything! Their love is powerful and nurturing. They'll do anything for the ones they care about, even if it means sacrificing for them. They crave deep connections and bonds with others, but they struggle to express their feelings because they're not used to being heard. They're sentimental beings, often getting lost in thoughts about past relationships. They're great at taking care of others, almost like a natural instinct. They have this motherly vibe that attracts people, especially kids. Sometimes they can get a bit too obsessed with the people they like, which can be intense. They're drawn to serious, protective types who make them feel safe. But if they're not into them back, it's like heartbreak city, and they'll go to extremes to win them over. If they settle down, they want stability and security. They're picky about who they fall for, but when they do, they're all in. They'll smother you with affection, wanting you to see how much they care. It's tough for them to spill their feelings, but if their crush is as stubborn as they are, they'll drop some major hints or just come clean. Patience and intuition are key when dealing with them!
đ©° leo venus
People with Venus in Leo are a tough nut to crack when it comes to commitment. They're all about knowing your value and what you bring to the table. If they don't see you giving them the love experience they crave, they're outta there. But watch out, they can fall for love bombs real quick. When someone showers them with attention, they eat it up, even if there are warning signs. They're elegant and charming, craving to be worshipped and adored. They want a partner who shows them off and takes pride in being with them. Winning them over? It's like a game, and they love the power trip. But in friendships, they're super generous and lovely. Sometimes they can come off as cocky, especially when they're trying to impress someone they fancy. But hey, they're great at planning epic dates and spoiling their partners. They're all about themselves too, soaking up compliments like a sponge. They might flirt with people they're not into just for kicks, which can lead to misunderstandings. But when they're truly in love, they're fiercely loyal and generous to a fault. They need someone with as much energy and zest for life as them to feel fulfilled. They're pretty decisive when it comes to their crushes. You'll know where you stand with them, no guessing games. Plus, they've got that magnetic charm that draws people in like moths to a flame. But here's the kicker: they can struggle with commitment issues. They're always chasing the next thrill, and if you don't measure up, they'll drop you like a hot potato. They'd rather start as friends or really get to know someone before diving in. And if they can't brag about you, it's game over. When they like someone, they're not shy about showing it. They'll playfully tease their crush to gauge their interest, and they've got a knack for remembering the little things. They might even go all out and buy them something special just because they mentioned wanting it.
đ©° virgo venus
People with Venus in Virgo can be real overthinkers when it comes to relationships. They nitpick and find flaws where there might not even be any. They're after partners who are genuinely interested in them, who notice the little things about them that they might miss. Remembering tiny details about them? That's a big win. They're all about providing for their significant other, creating stability and order in their relationships. They're not in a rush to fall in love 'cause they're pretty cool flying solo. But don't get it twisted, they're not against relationships, they just need to see the value in it. They're like detectives when it comes to the people they like, studying them inside and out to understand their feelings. They're not the most romantic folks, but they're all about giving you the kind of love that suits you best. They're pretty savvy when it comes to love, relationships, and money. They've got high standards and are picky about who they like. They want to feel special and seen by their partner. They might attract a lot of attention, but catching the eye of someone they're into? That's a whole different story. They've got a playful side, enjoying simple and elegant things. If they're not starting off as friends with their crush, it's probably not gonna go anywhere. They're all about testing loyalty before diving into anything serious. They'll get shy around their crush but will jump at any chance to help them out, just to show they care. They might seem a bit confusing, giving mixed signals, but they're just playing it cool. They won't chase after their crush forever, though. These folks know their worth. Physical touch is their love language, so don't be surprised if they're always trying to playfully wrestle with you or lend a hand. They'll take any chance they get to chat with their crush, even if it means asking to partner up for a project. If their crush can meet their needs as a friend, they'll quickly start imagining a romantic future together. But remember, with these folks, slow and steady wins the race.
đ©° libra venus
Alright, let's dive in! Libra Venus folks are like straight out of a romance novel, smooth talkers and super dreamy. They're total eye candy, but sometimes they hold back 'cause they're scared of looking too soft. Even though they might play it cool, they're secretly love gurus. Seriously, they've got this knack for loving people just right, like they've got a playbook or something. They're suckers for romantic flicks and dream of being treated like royalty. They just want to know their partner's head over heels for them. And they're not stingy with affection either, they'll spoil you rotten. But here's the thing: they're hopeless romantics. They love to flirt, but when they find someone who really lights their fire, they're all in. Love's their main motivation, and they're all about keeping things fair and making sure everyone feels seen. But sometimes, they need a little extra validation themselves to feel secure, which can make them clingy. They've got killer style, and even if they don't, they can rock any look. They're all about making others happy, sometimes to a fault. They dig people who can flirt back, have killer fashion sense, and are down for whatever. Libra Venus folks aren't about taking it slow. They're all about diving headfirst into the action. When they're into someone, they're not shy about it. They'll crack jokes about being together and go all out to win their crush over. They're big daydreamers, always picturing their crush in different scenarios. And they're not afraid to shoot their shot, even if it means embarrassing themselves a bit. If they're not sure about their feelings, they'll keep it under wraps until they figure it out. They're all about cheesy pick-up lines and making their crush smile. They'll do whatever it takes to win them over, even if it means biting their lip and winking. And if their crush shows interest back, get ready for some serious blushing!
đ©° scorpio venus
Alright, let's break it down. People with Scorpio Venus might have a thing for the wrong crowd because they're not feeling too confident. They can latch onto someone real quick and get super intense about it, but they're not easy catches themselves. It takes them a hot minute to decide if they're in it for the long haul, but once they commit, they're in it for life. They've got this mysterious, captivating vibe that draws folks in like magnets. They're all about passion in relationships and they want someone who's all in. Plus, they've got this knack for attracting romantic attention without even trying. But watch out, they can get a bit possessive 'cause once they're into someone, they're all in. They want to be needed by their partner, and they're not big on sharing. They might be into people who are open-minded and don't judge, 'cause they're not big on sharing their feelings. Or they might dig someone who's just as mysterious and seductive as they are. They need friends they can trust, and they're drawn to darker colors like black. They're not big on PDA, but they've definitely got some serious sex appeal. These folks ride a rollercoaster of emotions when they've got a crush. One minute, they're head over heels, the next, they're kicking themselves for catching feelings again. They won't make the first move unless they're sure their crush is into them too. If they do start talking to their crush, they'll try to play it cool at first, but once things are official, they're all about that energy and excitement. They're suckers for old-school romance and passion.
đ©° sagittarius venus
Okay, let's break it down. These folks are total jokesters and love cracking people up, but they can also be a bit wishy-washy when it comes to their feelings for someone. They might dig folks who are a bit obsessed with them, but they also get a kick out of charming people who play hard to get. They're on the lookout for that one special someone who really catches their eye. And let's be real, they can be a bit full of themselves, especially when it comes to love. But hey, it's all part of their charm, right? When they're in love, they're all about having a good time and going on adventures. They might be down for commitment, but they're cautious about who they commit to. They need a partner who's just as fun-loving as they are, otherwise, they'll get bored real quick. They crave that thrill of love and might act on impulse when they're feeling it. They hate feeling tied down and want to keep their freedom because, at the end of the day, they belong to themselves. They're not big on emotions or emotional people, but they do want that passionate love, even if they're not ready to commit to it fully. They're drawn to independent, fun-loving folks who have a bit of influence or power. Their feelings come and go like the wind, and they can be sensitive to rejection sometimes. They'd rather chill with their friends than deal with lovers 'cause friends give them more freedom. They'll show you they care by making a big deal out of the things they think are important. They might even be open to exploring different kinds of relationships, like open ones. And yeah, men with Sagittarius Venus tend to have a thing for women from other countries.
đ©° capricorn venus
Alright, let's simplify this. So, folks with a Capricorn Venus aren't big on showing their feelings openly. They're more about investing in the relationship for the long haul. They like to feel needed and show love in practical ways, like providing security and stability.They're super loyal but can get jittery if things don't feel stable. They're not great at expressing their need for care and nurturing, but they crave it deep down.When they find someone they're serious about, they're all in. They can come off as a bit blunt sometimes, but that's just their style. They're into classy, professional vibes, and they've got a secret, wild side, especially in the bedroom.They can be a tad controlling and protective when they're into someone. They're not the type to shout their crush from the rooftops, though. They keep it on the down-low or share it with close pals.Rejection hits them hard, and they might get cold and distant. They attract a lot of friends who crush on them, but they're all about impressing their main squeeze. They'll drop everything to be there for their crush, even if it means ditching their own plans.They're not shy and will chat up a storm. Body language is big for them, and they're social butterflies who also enjoy their alone time.Spirituality is a big deal for them, and they can seem a bit distant sometimes. They're not into clingy or flighty types; they dig someone strong and independent. Their soft side only comes out when they feel totally safe and secure.
đ©° aquarius venus
These folks are pretty one-of-a-kind when it comes to love. They're into quirky and unique people, so if you're not a bit "weird," they might not be into you romantically. They're also super straightforwardâthey'll tell you exactly how they feel. Sometimes, they're a bit hesitant about love, but deep down, they really want it. They're more logical than emotional, which helps them see the truth in relationships. They're attracted to folks who like them for who they are, inside and out. They enjoy being with friends more than lovers and might even fall for their pals sometimes. They really value their individuality and freedom to be themselves. They can be a bit attention-seeking, but once they find the right person, they're good. They rock platform boots and oversized shirts like nobody's business! They're huge daydreamers and love learning everything about their crushes. Starting as friends is cool with them, but it's not a must. They're the type to get super excited over a simple "Good morning" text from their crush. Just remember, their crushes come and go, so be your unique self to catch their eye. They're not into superficial stuff when it comes to attraction, especially if there are no issues in their chart.
đ©° pisces venus
These folks have this whole picture in their head of what their ideal partner should be likeâhow they act, everything. But if reality doesn't match their fantasy, they can lose interest real quick. They're big on romance, sensitive, stable, and love creativity. They want someone who can handle a relationship but also has a bit of chaos in them. When they love, they really go all in, even to the point of sacrificing themselves. But sometimes they end up giving their love to the wrong people. They're used to attracting the wrong types because they don't realize they deserve better. They're into spiritual stuff like crystals and incense, and when they're in love, they can act all childish. Logic goes out the window when they're in loveâthey miss red flags because they're too focused on their ideal traits. They're also super generous, even if they can't afford it. They're great listeners and really empathize with their loved ones' problems. They might crush on someone just because they're good-looking or fit their fantasy. But when reality hits, they can turn cold real fast. They're always on the lookout for that one perfect soulmate. Pisces Venus folks are the ultimate hopeless romantics. They're always dreaming about their perfect love story, which sometimes leads them to ignore warning signs. They're all about putting others before themselves and seeking that deep spiritual connection with their partner. Being sensitive souls, they can really understand what's going on beneath the surface in a relationship.
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this post was created by @astrogossipp on tumblr <3 if reposting my work please give credits.
pics by @i04rei
#astroblr#astrology#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#venus#venus signs#aries venus#taurus venus#gemini venus#cancer venus#virgo venus#leo venus#libra venus#scorpio venus#aquarius venus#capricorn venus#pisces venus#sagittarius venus#natal chart observations#natal chart analysis#natal chart#venus observation
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So Disco Elysium is the only game you've ever really liked
I get it! It's a phenomenal game with superb art and writing, and its themes are consistent and deeply explored. It sets a high bar for video games. But there are other really, really fantastic games out there. This is a list that is 100% my own taste of things that aren't necessarily similar, other than the fact that they're really fucking good. (A lot of these are on sale for the Steam Summer Sale until July 11 2024!)
In Stars and Time
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In Stars and Time is a time loop game where you play as Siffrin, the rogue of a party at the end of their quest to save the day by defeating the King, who is freezing everybody in time! But something is wrong: every time you die, you loop back to the day before you fight the King. You're the only one who remembers the loops, so it's up to you to figure out why it's happening, and how to break out.
In Stars and Time is a heart-wrenching dive into mental health, friendship, and love. It's about feeling alone, and how awful it is when the people who love you don't notice (and how awful it is when they do). It's about falling deeper and deeper into your worst self and your worst tendencies, and how to come back from it.
The creator also did one of my favorite Disco Elysium comics ever, which is only tangentially relevant but worth mentioning.
Roadwarden
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In Roadwarden, you play as the titular Roadwarden for an undeveloped and "wild" part of the kingdom. Monsters roam the forests and roads, and it's your job to keep people safe. On paper, anyway. Your real mission is to find out what is of value in the area, and how to take it from its people. How well you perform this task is up to you. It's an oldschool text-based RPG, and I take a lot of notes by hand when I play.
Roadwarden explores exploitation and industrialization by making you look in the face of your potential victims. You can only learn what your bosses want you to report on by getting close to the residents, after all. There are mysteries to be solved, secrets to be gathered, and hearts to win.
The Longing
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The Longing is an adventure-idle game where you play as the solitary servant of a sleeping king. Your task is to wait for him, for four hundred days. Time in the game passes in realtime (for the most part). There are caves to explore, books to be read, and drawings to make.
The Longing is about loneliness and depression. It's about whether or not you decide to stay in that hole, and if you do, what you do with yourself while you're there. Maybe you'll wander. Maybe you'll stare at a wall. Maybe you'll just sleep until it's all over.
Papers, Please
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Papers, Please casts you as a newly hired customs officer in a country that is rapidly tightening its borders as its fascist government tightens its fist. This game is stressful. Sometimes you intend to help out the revolutionaries when they asked, but then you got so stressed out trying to make your quota so you can feed your family and pay your bills that you didn't notice the name of the person they were hoping to contact while going through their papers. Sometimes someone puts a bomb in front of you and expects you to defuse it. Sometimes someone suggests you steal people's passports so you can get your family out, and with the horror you see daily, the idea tempts you more than you'd like.
Papers, Please is all about hard choices and testing your moral fortitude. Everything you do has consequences. Being a good person in this game is hardly ever rewarded, but not in a way that feels overly cynical. Papers, Please asks you what kind of person you want to be and what you're willing to sacrifice to get there.
The Return of the Obra Dinn
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From the creator of Papers, Please, The Return of the Obra Dinn is a game where you play as an insurance investigator for the East India Trading Company. The ship the Obra Dinn has just floated back into port, its entire crew missing or dead. It's your job to figure out what happened aboard the vessel. For insurance reasons.
I don't know how to go into the themes of this too deeply without giving away too much, but the mechanics of the game itself make the game worth playing. You have a magic stopwatch that allows you to go back to the moment of a person's death, allowing you to try and figure out who (or what) killed them, and how. And the soundtrack is extremely good.
Outer Wilds
In Outer Wilds you play as an unnamed alien, and it's your first day going to space! Your planet's space program is pretty new still, so there's still lots to explore and discover on the planets within your system. There are ancient ruins from a mysterious race that once lived in your system, long before your species began to record history. Why were they here? Where did they go? How are they connected to the weird thing that keeps happening to you?
The fun of Outer Wilds is in the discovery and answering your own questions. The game never tells you where to go, and it never outright tells you anything. There are clues scattered through the system, and it's up to you to put them together and figure out your next steps. It's about the way that life always goes on, no matter what, even when it seems like the end of everything, forever. I'd recommend NOT reading anything else about this game. Just go play it. Seriously, the less you know, the more fun this is.
If on a Winter's Night, Four Travelers
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In If on a Winter's Night, Four Travelers, you explore the circumstances of the deaths of four individuals.
This is a short one that took me about two and a half hours to play. If for no other reason, play it for the stunning pixel art. The game explores sexism, racism, and homophobia in the Victorian era and leans heavily into horror themes. Best of all: it's completely free!
Pentiment
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Pentiment takes you to the 16th century, where you take the role of Andreas Maler, a journeyman artist working on his masterwork in the scriptorium of an abbey. When someone is murdered, Andreas takes responsibility for finding the culprit.
The game is set over 20~ years and you get to watch how Andreas' actions affect the village in various ways (who's alive the next time you come by, have people gotten married and had children...). It's an exploration of how the past affects the future, and what parts of that past we choose to keep or discard. It has beautiful art, and fans of both Disco and Pentiment often compare them.
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Other games you might wanna check out
Night in the Woods, Dredge, Oxenfree, A House of Many Doors, Inscryption, Slay the Princess, Citizen Sleeper, Chants of Sennar, Loop Hero, The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood, The Pale Beyond, Where the Water Tastes Like Wine, Elsinore, Her Story, Before Your Eyes, Pathologic (not delved into above because the venn diagram of Pathologic fans and Disco fans is basically a circle)
#disco elysium#pentiment#outer wilds#in stars and time#roadwarden#if on a winters night four travelers#papers please#the return of the obra dinn#the longing#video games#hoping so badly there are no glaring errors in this#made this because i have spoken to many people who Dont Play video games but liked disco
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They were warned
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Picks and Shovels is a new, standalone technothriller starring Marty Hench, my two-fisted, hard-fighting, tech-scam-busting forensic accountant. You can pre-order it on my latest Kickstarter, which features a brilliant audiobook read by Wil Wheaton.
Truth is provisional! Sometimes, the things we understand to be true about the world change, and stuff we've "always done" has to change, too. There comes a day when the evidence against using radium suppositories is overwhelming, and then you really must dig that radium out of your colon and safely dispose of it:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/19/just-stop-putting-that-up-your-ass/#harm-reduction
So it's natural and right that in the world, there will be people who want to revisit the received wisdom and best practices for how we live our lives, regulate our economy, and organize our society. But not a license to simply throw out the systems we rely on. Sure, maybe they're outdated or unnecessary, but maybe not. That's where "Chesterton's Fence" comes in:
Let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, "I don't see the use of this; let us clear it away." To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: "If you don't see the use of it, I certainly won't let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G._K._Chesterton#Chesterton's_fence
In other words, it's not enough to say, "This principle gets in the way of something I want to do, so let's throw it out because I'm pretty sure the inconvenience I'm experiencing is worse than the consequences of doing away with this principle." You need to have a theory of how you will prevent the harms the principle protects us from once you tear it down. That theory can be "the harms are imaginary" so it doesn't matter. Like, if you get rid of all the measures that defend us from hexes placed by evil witches, it's OK to say, "This is safe because evil witches aren't real and neither are hexes."
But you'd better be sure! After all, some preventative measures work so well that no living person has experienced the harms they guard us against. It's easy to mistake these for imaginary or exaggerated. Think of the antivaxers who are ideologically committed to a world in which human beings do not have a shared destiny, meaning that no one has a moral claim over the choices you make. Motivated reasoning lets those people rationalize their way into imagining that measles â a deadly and ferociously contagious disease that was a scourge for millennia until we all but extinguished it â was no big deal:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Measles:_A_Dangerous_Illness
There's nothing wrong with asking whether longstanding health measures need to be carried on, or whether they can be sunset. But antivaxers' sloppy, reckless reasoning about contagious disease is inexcusable. They were warned, repeatedly, about the mass death and widespread lifelong disability that would follow from their pursuit of an ideological commitment to living as though their decisions have no effect on others. They pressed ahead anyway, inventing ever-more fanciful reasons why health is a purely private matter, and why "public health" was either a myth or a Communist conspiracy:
https://www.conspirituality.net/episodes/brief-vinay-prasad-pick-me-campaign
When RFK Jr kills your kids with measles or permanently disables them with polio, he doesn't get to say "I was just inquiring as to the efficacy of a longstanding measure, as is right and proper." He was told why the vaccine fence was there, and he came up with objectively very stupid reasons why that didn't matter, and then he killed your kids. He was warned.
Fuck that guy.
Or take Bill Clinton. From 1933 until 1999, American banks were regulated under the Glass-Steagall Act, which "structurally separated" them. Under structural separation, a "retail bank" â the bank that holds your savings and mortgage and provides you with a checkbook â could not be "investment bank." That meant it couldn't own or invest in businesses that competed with the businesses its depositors and borrowers ran. It couldn't get into other lines of business, either, like insurance underwriting.
Glass-Steagall was a fence that stood between retail banks and the casino economy. It was there for a fucking great reason: the failure to structurally separate banks allowed them to act like casinos, inflating a giant market bubble that popped on Black Friday in October 1929, kicking off the Great Depression. Congress built the structural separation fence to keep banks from doing it again.
In the 1990s, Bill Clinton agitated for getting rid of Glass-Steagall. He argued that new economic controls would allow the government to prevent another giant bubble and crash. This time, the banks would behave themselves. After all, hadn't they demonstrated their prudence for seven decades?
In fact, they hadn't. Every time banks figured out how to slip out of regulatory constraints they inflated another huge bubble, leading to another massive crash that made the rich obscenely richer and destroyed ordinary savers' lives. Clinton took office just as one of these finance-sector bombs â the S&L Crisis â was detonating. Clinton had no basis â apart from wishful thinking â to believe that deregulating banks would lead to anything but another gigantic crash.
But Clinton let his self interest â in presiding over a sugar-high economic expansion driven by deregulation â overrule his prudence (about the crash that would follow). Sure enough, in the last months of Clinton's presidency, the stock market imploded with the March 2000 dot-bomb. And because Congress learned nothing from the dot-com crash and declined to restore the Glass-Steagall fence, the crash led to another bubble, this time in subprime mortgages, and then, inevitably, we suffered the Great Financial Crisis.
Look: there's no virtue in having bank regulations for the sake of having them. It is conceptually possible for bank regulations to be useless or even harmful. There's nothing wrong with investigating whether the 70-year old Glass-Steagall Act was still needed in 1999. But Clinton was provided with a mountain of evidence about why Glass-Steagall was the only thing standing between Americans and economic chaos, including the evidence of the S&L Crisis, which was still underway when he took office, and he ignored all of them. If you lost everything â your home, your savings, your pension â in the dot-bomb or the Great Financial Crisis, Bill Clinton is to blame. He was warned. he ignored the warnings.
Fuck that guy.
No, seriously, fuck Bill Clinton. Deregulating banks wasn't Clinton's only passion. He also wanted to ban working cryptography. The cornerstone of Clinton's tech policy was the "Clipper Chip," a backdoored encryption chip that, by law, every technology was supposed to use. If Clipper had gone into effect, then cops, spooks, and anyone who could suborn, bribe, or trick a cop or a spook could break into any computer, server, mobile device, or embedded system in America.
When Clinton was told â over and over, in small, easy-to-understand words â that there was no way to make a security system that only worked when "bad guys" tried to break into it, but collapsed immediately if a "good guy" wanted to bypass it. We explained to him â oh, how we explained to him! â that working encryption would be all that stood between your pacemaker's firmware and a malicious update that killed you where you stood; all that stood between your antilock brakes' firmware and a malicious update that sent you careening off a cliff; all that stood between businesses and corporate espionage, all that stood between America and foreign state adversaries wanting to learn its secrets.
In response, Clinton said the same thing that all of his successors in the Crypto Wars have said: NERD HARDER! Just figure it out. Cops need to look at bad guys' phones, so you need to figure out how to make encryption that keeps teenagers safe from sextortionists, but melts away the second a cop tries to unlock a suspect's phone. Take Malcolm Turnbull, the former Australian Prime Minister. When he was told that the laws of mathematics dictated that it was impossible to build selectively effective encryption of the sort he was demanding, he replied, "The laws of mathematics are very commendable but the only law that applies in Australia is the law of Australia":
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2017/07/australian-pm-calls-end-end-encryption-ban-says-laws-mathematics-dont-apply-down
Fuck that guy. Fuck Bill Clinton. Fuck a succession of UK Prime Ministers who have repeatedly attempted to ban working encryption. Fuck 'em all. The stakes here are obscenely high. They have been warned, and all they say in response is "NERD HARDER!"
https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/05/theyre-still-trying-to-ban-cryptography/
Now, of course, "crypto means cryptography," but the other crypto â cryptocurrency â deserves a look-in here. Cryptocurrency proponents advocate for a system of deregulated money creation, AKA "wildcat currencies." They say, variously, that central banks are no longer needed; or that we never needed central banks to regulate the money supply. Let's take away that fence. Why not? It's not fit for purpose today, and maybe it never was.
Why do we have central banks? The Fed â which is far from a perfect institution and could use substantial reform or even replacement â was created because the age of wildcat currencies was a nightmare. Wildcat currencies created wild economic swings, massive booms and even bigger busts. Wildcat currencies are the reason that abandoned haunted mansions feature so heavily in the American imagination: American towns and cities were dotted with giant mansions built by financiers who'd grown rich as bubbles expanded, then lost it all after the crash.
Prudent management of the money supply didn't end those booms and busts, but it substantially dampened them, ending the so-called "business cycle" that once terrorized Americans, destroying their towns and livelihoods and wiping out their savings.
It shouldn't surprise us that a new wildcat money sector, flogging "decentralized" cryptocurrencies (that they are nevertheless weirdly anxious to swap for your gross, boring old "fiat" money) has created a series of massive booms and busts, with insiders getting richer and richer, and retail investors losing everything.
If there was ever any doubt about whether wildcat currencies could be made safe by putting them on a blockchain, it is gone. Wildcat currencies are as dangerous today as they were in the 18th and 19th century â only moreso, since this new bad paper relies on the endless consumption of whole rainforests' worth of carbon, endangering not just our economy, but also the habitability of the planet Earth.
And nevertheless, the Trump administration is promising a new crypto golden age (or, ahem, a Gilded Age). And there are plenty of Democrats who continue to throw in with the rotten, corrupt crypto industry, which flushed billions into the 2024 election to bring Trump to office. The result is absolutely going to be more massive bubbles and life-destroying implosions. Fuck those guys. They were warned, and they did it anyway.
Speaking of the climate emergency: greetings from smoky Los Angeles! My city's on fire. This was not an unforeseeable disaster. Malibu is the most on-fire place in the world:
https://longreads.com/2018/12/04/the-case-for-letting-malibu-burn/
Since 1919, the region has been managed on the basis of "total fire suppression." This policy continued long after science showed that this creates "fire debt" in the form of accumulated fuel. The longer you go between fires, the hotter and more destructive those fires become, and the relationship is nonlinear. A 50-year fire isn't 250% more intense than a 20-year fire: it's 50,000% more intense.
Despite this, California has invested peanuts in regular controlled burns, which has created biennial uncontrolled burns â wildfires that cost thousands of times more than any controlled burn.
Speaking of underinvestment: PG&E has spent decades extracting dividends for its investors and bonuses for its execs, while engaging in near-total neglect of maintenance of its high-voltage transmission lines. Even with normal winds, these lines routinely fall down and start blazes.
But we don't have normal winds. The climate emergency has been steadily worsening for decades. LA is just the latest place to be on fire, or under water, or under ice, or baking in wet bulb temperatures. Last week in southern California, we were warned to expect gusts of 120mph.
They were warned. #ExxonKnew: in the early 1970s, Exxon's own scientists warned them that fossil fuel consumption would kick off climate change so drastic that it would endanger human civilzation. Exxon responded by burying the reports and investing in climate denial:
https://exxonknew.org/
They were warned! Warned about fire debt. Warned about transmission lines. Warned about climate change. And specific, named people, who individually had the power to heed these warnings and stave off disaster, ignored the warnings. They didn't make honest mistakes, either: they ignored the warnings because doing so made them extraordinarily, disgustingly rich. They used this money to create dynastic fortunes, and have created entire lineages of ultra-wealthy princelings in $900,000 watches who owe it all to our suffering and impending dooml
Fuck those guys. Fuck 'em all.
We've had so many missed opportunities, chances to make good policy or at least not make bad policy. The enshitternet didn't happen on its own. It was the foreseeable result of choices â again, choices made by named individuals who became very wealthy by ignoring the warnings all around them.
Let's go back to Bill Clinton, because more than anyone else, Clinton presided over some terrible technology regulations. In 1998, Clinton signed the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, a bill championed by Barney Frank (fuck that guy, too). Under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, it's a felony, punishable by a five year prison sentence, and a $500,000 fine, to tamper with a "digital lock."
That means that if HP uses a digital lock to prevent you from using third-party ink, it's a literal crime to bypass that lock. Which is why HP ink now costs $10,000/gallon, and why you print your shopping lists with colored water that costs more, ounce for ounce, than the sperm of a Kentucky Derby winner:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/30/life-finds-a-way/#ink-stained-wretches
Clinton was warned that DMCA 1201 would soon metastasize into every kind of device â not just the games consoles and DVD players where it was first used, but medical implants, tractors, cars, home appliances â anything you could put a microchip into (Jay Freeman calls this "felony contempt of business-model"):
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon
He ignored those warnings and signed the DMCA anyway (fuck that guy). Then, under Bush (fuck that guy), the US Trade Representative went all around the world demanding that America's trading partners adopt versions of this law (fuck that guy). In 2001, the European Parliament capitulated, enacting the EU Copyright Directive, whose Article 6 is a copy-paste of DMCA 1201 (fuck all those people).
Fast forward 20 years, and boy is there a lot of shit with microchips that can be boobytrapped with rent-extracting logic bombs that are illegal to research, describe, or disable.
Like choo-choo trains.
Last year, the Polish hacking group Dragon Sector was contacted by a public sector train company whose Newag trains kept going out of service. The operator suspected that Newag had boobytrapped the trains to punish the train company for getting its maintenance from a third-party contractor. When Dragon Sector investigated, they discovered that Newag had indeed riddled the trains' firmware with boobytraps. Trains that were taken to locations known to have third-party maintenance workshops were immediately bricked (hilariously, this bomb would detonate if trains just passed through stations near to these workshops, which is why another train company had to remove all the GPSes from its trains â they kept slamming to a halt when they approached a station near a third-party workshop). But Newag's logic bombs would brick trains for all kinds of reasons â merely keeping a train stationary for too many days would result in its being bricked. Installing a third-party component in a locomotive would also trigger a bomb, bricking the train.
In their talk at last year's Chaos Communications Congress, the Dragon Sector folks describe how they have been legally terrorized by Newag, which has repeatedly sued them for violating its "intellectual property" by revealing its sleazy, corrupt business practices. They also note that Newag continues to sell lots of trains in Poland, despite the widespread knowledge of its dirty business model, because public train operators are bound by procurement rules, and as long as Newag is the cheapest bidder, they get the contract:
https://media.ccc.de/v/38c3-we-ve-not-been-trained-for-this-life-after-the-newag-drm-disclosure
The laws that let Newag make millions off a nakedly corrupt enterprise â and put the individuals who blew the whistle on it at risk of losing everything â were passed by Members of the European Parliament who were warned that this would happen, and they ignored those warnings, and now it's happening. Fuck those people, every one of 'em.
It's not just European parliamentarians who ignored warnings and did the bidding of the US Trade Representative, enacting laws that banned tampering with digital locks. In 2010, two Canadian Conservative Party ministers in the Stephen Harper government brought forward similar legislation. These ministers, Tony Clement (now a disgraced sex-pest and PPE grifter) and James Moore (today, a sleazeball white-shoe corporate lawyer), held a consultation on this proposal.
6, 138 people wrote in to say, "Don't do this, it will be hugely destructive." 54 respondents wrote in support of it. Clement and Moore threw out the 6,138 opposing comments. Moore explained why: these were the "babyish" responses of "radical extremists." The law passed in 2012.
Last year, the Canadian Parliament passed bills guaranteeing Canadians the Right to Repair and the right to interoperability. But Canadians can't act on either of these laws, because they would have to tamper with a digital lock to do so, and that's illegal, thanks to Tony Clement and James Moore. Who were warned. And who ignored those warnings. Fuck those guys:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/15/radical-extremists/#sex-pest
Back in the 1990s, Bill Clinton had a ton of proposals for regulating the internet, but nowhere among those proposals will you find a consumer privacy law. The last time an American president signed a consumer privacy law was 1988, when Reagan signed the Video Privacy Protection Act and ensured that Americans would never have to worry that video-store clerks where telling the newspapers what VHS cassettes they took home.
In the years since, Congress has enacted exactly zero consumer privacy laws. None. This has allowed the out-of-control, unregulated data broker sector to metastasize into a cancer on the American people. This is an industry that fuels stalkers, discriminatory financial and hiring algorithms, and an ad-tech sector that lets advertisers target categories like "teenagers with depression," "seniors with dementia" and "armed service personnel with gambling addictions."
When the people cry out for privacy protections, Congress â and the surveillance industry shills that fund them â say we don't need a privacy law. The market will solve this problem. People are selling their privacy willingly, and it would be an "undue interference in the market" if we took away your "freedom to contract" by barring companies from spying on you after you clicked the "I agree" button.
These people have been repeatedly warned about the severe dangers to the American public â as workers, as citizens, as community members, and as consumers â from the national privacy free-for-all, and have done nothing. Fuck them, every one:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/06/privacy-first/#but-not-just-privacy
Now, even a stopped clock is right twice a day, and not every one of Bill Clinton's internet policies was terrible. He had exactly one great policy, and, ironically, that's the one there's the most energy for dismantling. That policy is Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act (a law that was otherwise such a dumpster fire that the courts struck it down). Chances are, you have been systematically misled about the history, use, and language of Section 230, which is wild, because it's exactly 26 words long and fits in a single tweet:
No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider.
Section 230 was passed because when companies were held liable for their users' speech, they "solved" this problem by just blocking every controversial thing a user said. Without Section 230, there would be no Black Lives Matter, no #MeToo â no online spaces where the powerful were held to account. Meanwhile, rich and powerful people would continue to enjoy online platforms where they and their bootlickers could pump out the most grotesque nonsense imaginable, either because they owned those platforms (ahem, Twitter and Truth Social) or because rich and powerful people can afford the professional advice needed to navigate the content-moderation bureaucracies of large systems.
We know exactly what the internet looks like when platforms are civilly liable for their users' speech: it's an internet where marginalized and powerless people are silenced, and where the people who've got a boot on their throats are the only voices you can hear:
https://www.techdirt.com/2020/06/23/hello-youve-been-referred-here-because-youre-wrong-about-section-230-communications-decency-act/
The evidence for this isn't limited to the era of AOL and Prodigy. In 2018, Trump signed SESTA/FOSTA, a law that held platforms liable for "sex trafficking." Advocates for this law â like Ashton Kutcher, who campaigns against sexual assault unless it involves one of his friends, in which case he petitions the judge for leniency â were warned that it would be used to shut down all consensual sex work online, making sex workers's lives much more dangerous. This warnings were immediately borne out, and they have been repeatedly borne out every month since. Killing CDA 230 for sex work brought back pimping, exposed sex workers to grave threats to their personal safety, and made them much poorer:
https://decriminalizesex.work/advocacy/sesta-fosta/what-is-sesta-fosta/
It also pushed sex trafficking and other nonconsensual sex into privateforums that are much harder for law enforcement to monitor and intervene in, making it that much harder to catch sex traffickers:
https://cdt.org/insights/its-all-downsides-hybrid-fosta-sesta-hinders-law-enforcement-hurts-victims-and-speakers/
This is exactly what SESTA/FOSTA's advocates were warned of. They were warned. They did it anyway. Fuck those people.
Maybe you have a theory about how platforms can be held civilly liable for their users' speech without harming marginalized people in exactly the way that SESTA/FOSTA, it had better amount to more than "platforms are evil monopolists and CDA 230 makes their lives easier." Yes, they're evil monopolists. Yes, 230 makes their lives easier. But without 230, small forums â private message boards, Mastodon servers, Bluesky, etc â couldn't possibly operate.
There's a reason Mark Zuckerberg wants to kill CDA 230, and it's not because he wants to send Facebook to the digital graveyard. Zuck knows that FB can operate in a post-230 world by automating the deletion of all controversial speech, and he knows that small services that might "disrupt" Facebook's hegemony would be immediately extinguished by eliminating 230:
https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/zuckerberg-calls-changes-techs-section-230-protections-rcna486
It's depressing to see so many comrades in the fight against Big Tech getting suckered into carrying water for Zuck, demanding the eradication of CDA 230. Please, I beg you: look at the evidence for what happens when you remove that fence. Heed the warnings. Don't be like Bill Clinton, or California fire suppression officials, or James Moore and Tony Clement, or the European Parliament, or the US Trade Rep, or cryptocurrency freaks, or Malcolm Turnbull.
Or Ashton fucking Kutcher.
Because, you know, fuck those guys.
Check out my Kickstarter to pre-order copies of my next novel, Picks and Shovels!
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/13/wanting-it-badly/#is-not-enough
#pluralistic#we told you so#told you so#foreseeable outcomes#enshittification#crypto cars#cryto means cryptography#data brokers#cda 230#section 230#230#newag#drm#copyfight#section 1201#wildcat money#backdoors#wanting it badly is not enough#dragon sector#great financial crisis#structural separation#guillotine watch#nerd harder
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Writing Notes: Character Development
Rick Riordan's Writing Tips
Rick Riordan:
Character development is paramount for me. I firmly believe that plot and character development must occur simultaneously. Plot cannot be left to chance. Neither can characters be automatons who carry out actions envisioned in the author's master plan. Below are some things I try to keep in mind when developing my characters:
RICK RIORDAN'S TOP 5 TIPS ON CHARACTER
Define a character first through action, second through dialog and description, never through explanation.
A character should be primarily defined by the choices he makes, and the actions he takes.
How does he respond to violence?
How does he respond to love?
Secondly, a character must be vividly but deftly describe through his speech, and through the initial view you give the reader.
Never stop to explain who a character is when we can watch him in action and decide for ourselves.
Be impressionist rather than realistic.
Describe characters as Dickens did â with a single deft stroke.
A laundry list of physical traits is realistic, but it is neither memorable nor compelling.
A jarring metaphor for the character, or a focus on one mannerism or physical trait, can be very compelling.
Example: She was a human tornado.
Do not be afraid to use real people as models, but do not be constricted by your models.
It is very natural to use parts of ourselves or the people we know when creating characters.
Do not be afraid to do this because someone might get mad at you.
At the same time, let your character develop.
Do not force them to do what the real-life model would do.
Characters seldom end up exactly like the real people they are based on.
The reader does not have to be told everything you know about the character.
It may be critically important to you that your character has blue eyes, or went to Texas A&M.
But if these details have no part in the story, the reader will not care.
Leave them in your subconscious.
If you are having trouble figuring out a character, fill out a character profile, or do some journaling in that character's voice.
Your character must act, not simply be acted upon.
We care about characters because we are interested in the choices they make.
We want to boo the villain, cheer the hero, and cry with frustration when the tragic figure makes the wrong move.
A character who does not act, but simply receives information and is acted upon by outside forces, is not a character who will compel the reader.
Remember, plot is what the characters do next.
If the characters do not create the plot, the plot is hollow.
Here's a character profile worksheet I sometimes fill out if I'm having trouble understanding a particular character I've created:
Character Profile
Name:
Height:
Age in story:
Birthplace:
Hair color, length, style:
Race/nationality:
Regional influences:
Accent: (include voice, style of speech, slang, signature phrases or words)
Religion:
Marital status:
Scars or other notable physical attributes:
Handicaps: (emotional, physical, mental)
Athletic? Inactive? Overall health?
Style of dress:
Favorite colors:
How does the character feel about his/her appearance?
Brothers/sisters:
Relationship with parents:
Memories about childhood:
Educational background: (street smart? Formal? Does he/she read?)
Work experience:
Occupation:
Where does the character live now? Describe home (emotional atmosphere as well as physical)
Neat or messy?
Sexual preferences/morals/activities:
Women friends/men friends:
Pets?
Enemies? Why?
Basic nature:
Personality traits (shy, outgoing, domineering, doormat, honest, kind, sense of humor):
Strongest trait:
Weakest trait:
What does the character fear?
What is the character proud of?
What is the character ashamed of?
Outlook on life (optimistic, pessimistic, cynic, idealist)
Ambitions:
Politics:
How does the character see himself/herself?
How is the character seen by others?
Do you like this person? Why or why not?
Will readers like or dislike?
Most important thing to know about this character:
Present problem:
How it will get worse:
What is the character's goal in the story?
What traits will help/hurt the character in achieving this goal?
What makes the character different from similar characters?
Why will readers remember this character vividly?
Source â Writing Notes & References
#rick riordan#on writing#character development#character building#writing inspiration#writeblr#dark academia#spilled ink#template#writing reference#writing tips#writing advice#literature#writers on tumblr#poets on tumblr#writing prompt#poetry#light academia#george romney#writing resources
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okokok first up thinking about: ethan keeping you away from act 3 by less than morally sound means⊠drugging, kidnapping, convincing you to run away with him, (etc.) dealers choice!!!
*sorry if this is really broad, i wanted to leave room for creativity + iâm also on a bus home rn so iâm a little delirious lol but iâll think of some more stuff to send your way when iâm home bc itâs time for ethan to come home for halloween the kids miss himđ*
a/n: faeeee you always be giving me the best requestsss, and also yes omggg Jack come home, thereâs a kid waiting for you!!!
Ethan not-so-subtly âputting you to sleepâ to protect you.
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âIâll take care of her, promise, just donât touch her!â Was what he said to Quinn when they had a massive argument about you.
She called him soft, that he was falling for you.
Soft? Him? No, he was just fooling you, mocking you, you were the stupid one here, not him, you were the one who fell for him, he certainly doesnât love you. He just⊠enjoys spending some time with you, enjoys kissing you maybe, sometimes he may even find pleasure in fucking you.
But heâs not growing soft and he is not falling in love⊠yet he finds it weird why he wants to protect you so much.
Itâs getting even harder because you wonât fall for his bullshit excuses, you wonât fall for âOh, they all cancelled, why donât we stay in tonight?â or âI just wanna hang out with you instead.â so he has to get creative, lately heâs been putting sedatives in your drinks, that green smoothie of yours, â not morally correct, yeah, but so isnât shoving a knife in your best friendâs guts, whoops, heâll apologise later â the problem is that youâve began to notice.
âDunno, I just have been feeling a lot sleepier lately.â You mention, he sits beside you on the couch, watching you take clueless sips of your juice. âDo you think Iâve gotten the wrong powder? Maybe it has some random side-effects I donât know about.â
His hand drives itself to your thigh, slightly flexes on top of your skin. âHave you read the full ingredients?â
âTop to bottom.â You huff, lean your shoulder into him.
âWhat about the side-effects? Does it mention anything about it?â He portrays himself as the perfect boyfriend, just trying to help you and your sudden tiredness, luckily, you fall for it.
âNo, not really.â You sink even more into his shoulder, your vision already looking hazy.
âHuh⊠thatâs weirdâŠâ he glances sideways at you, watching the way you make yourself comfortable, his arm leaves your thigh to wrap around you waist.
âMhm..â you yawn, he bites down a smirk.
Itâs like you donât even notice, like youâre so clueless, but he likes you this way, maybe heâll even succeed in his plan if he just keeps doing it.
He sees the how you allow your eyes to fall shut, how you trust him so much that you donât mind getting this vulnerable next to him â itâs cute.
âDonât worry, Iâll be here when you wake up.â He mutters, his hand slightly caressed your exposed skin.
He will in fact be here when you wake up.
But before that, heâll make sure youâre comfortable in bed and go out to try and shoot Taraâs brains out.
#ethan landry x you#ethan landry smut#ethan landry scream#ethan landry imagine#ethan landry x reader#ethan landry fanfiction#ethan landry x y/n#ethan landry fic#ethan landry x fem!reader#ethan landry fluff#ethan landry#jack champion#jack champion x y/n#jack champion fluff#jack champion scream#jack champion imagine#jack champion x reader#jack champion smut#ghostface x y/n#scream smut#ghostface x you#scream 6#ghostface smut#scream 6 smut#ghostface imagine#ghostface x reader#ghostface#đđ: ethan landry#. requests#webbluvrsugar
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never stop deal with this so this your periodic reminder that
âŹïž
!! if you see someone write different online. unless they explicitly tell you something different. leave them alone. donât comment on their write. donât do anything unprompted to âhelpâ without ask. it rude annoying we heard it million times promise. !!
âŹïž
some people with language disorders. agrammatism. cognitive struggles. or write with symbol base AAC that not support grammar inflections.
yes we will sometimes write different than you use to.
yes it not âcorrect grammar,â you so observant (sarcasm).
no it not for fun, no it not choice, no it not writing quirk.
whatever you want say, we probably heard it million times. yes even if it friendly joke - n we appreciate you friendly. but please
great that it âactually help you read/understand better than full grammar.â some people may like you tell them that. but personally not want hear it too - my way write my disability, it about me n it not on purpose it out of my control. would rather you talk about how way break down concept (something can actually control n try really hard at) as easy understand.
âthis just gave stroke/seizure/whatever âfunnyâ âedgyâ disabilityâ joke. not that anyone make it would listen but. shut up. it not funny to me it not funny to stroke survivors or to seizure havers.
decide stop apologize for exist if it hard read. even if you have receptive language / comprehension / reading / cognitive / etc disability - it unfortunate but conflicting accessibility exist. (yes, do understand actually, because speak from experience.)
if you want know what am say please at least put in some effort to read it.
if after genuine try, still struggle, do what you do when you see tumblr post in âperfect grammarâ you donât understand - polite ask for explain or rephrase or summarize.
it still english, or whatever language person use. unless you actual look for it be turn different language, it still english, no you not need âtranslate.â (no donât care that âtranslateâ okay in writing quirk community because again. not writing quirk)
not âfix.â
and. understand sometimes we canât rephrase in different way, even if that different way include still write different.
personally am allow other people answer âcan you rephraseâ questions without go through me first, for now, because of this. - but understand this is reluctant compromise. because:
understand sometimes we still sensitive to other people rewrite explain in perfect grammar. because have long history of people refuse put effort in read our stuff but instead always give more attention to people who write perfect, even if their writing not any less complicated than ours. because have long history of be charity case n get unsolicit âhelpâ âtranslateâ when we never ask.
because have long history of be forcibly spoken for n be misunderstood. because people who answer may (& many times do) get it wrong & we then have to spend more effort chase down n correct when we already struggle with communication, n that other version always spread faster than our correction.
so know other people who write different, donât allow people rephrase at all unless go through them first. please also respect that even if inconvenient.
n on that note.
unless we give you explicit permission to you (like âyou specifically can do itâ or like above âcan do it if someone ask,â or âanyone can do it all timesâ). donât. donât rewrite what we write into correct grammar, into perfect grammar.
donât give random disabled person unsolicited help. it not friendly it not helpful it rude n annoying. not your charity case. who even are you. no one asked.
none. of. your. business.
not need your fix. get off moral high ground.
n like everything. there some jokes n comments that *some* people who write different may be okay with if they friend with that person make it - sometimes opposite of what this post say. if you not friend with that person then. maybe donât.
people who write different not all same. sometimes okay or not okay with different things. but. this general see.
the first time you hear about [stuff am tell you in post] probably 456737th time we re-explain it. excuse us for be exhausted n done n our time be tired n angry n impatient.
this been a PSA.
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hello !!! can i request a right person, wrong time with siri? maybe they broke up because of the war... and the reason is because siri doesn't want to put the reader into danger and then they meet again, all grown up and they still have feelings for each other and Siri has to grovel to win reader back again? And it ends with a happy ending (please) (Siri was the one who broke the relationship and reader was really hurt) it's very long yet vauge đ
A CALL TO ARMS â S.BLACK
sirius black was the love of your life, and you were his. but sometimes higher prioritiesâand deep-seeded anxietyâcan get in the way. but the invisible string of fate always brings people back together.
cw â fem!reader, details of the first wizard of war, reader and sirius have a messy and complicated relationship, harsh arguments, character death mentions, happy ending
sirius black x reader || hurt/comfort || 6.2k || requests open!!
a/n â letâs just pretend sirius doesnât get avadaâd like three weeks after this fic ends
The war put a strain on everybody. Some people had to leave their families to join the fight, some had to hide away to protect themselves from the Death Eaters.
Some didnât have a family, anyone to worry about them coming home at the end of the day.
They threw themselves into it the hardest.
Then there was you and Sirius, a pair of outcasts who found solitude in each other. A pair who paid no greater devotion than protecting the people that you cared about from the ravages of Voldemortâs uprising.
You were barely eighteen when you both joined the Order, fresh out of Hogwarts and straight into the line of fire after the group had been offered a spot in Voldemortâs army and refused, leaving every one of you with a target on your back.
By the time you were twenty it almost seemed fruitless, with James and Lily being sent into hiding to protect them and their son under Dumbledoreâs direct orders under fear for their continued safety and a Fidelius Charm placed over them to keep them safe. Sirius denied being their secret keeper with the explanation of it being too obvious a choice. What a mistake that was.
Then order members started dying.
And it all began to fall apart.
The brass framed picture in the entrance of the Black family home offered Sirius no empathy as he escaped the bitterness that October was serving him, the laughing faces of his friends and self-proclaimed family only serving to make his already dwindling morale dampen further.
Twenty-two people in the picture. And how many remained? Fourteen. In the span of five months.
It was Dorcus and Marlene that really did him over, and he could barely so much as glance in the direction of their hopeful smiles without feeling like he was going to throw up.
The trudging of his feet up the wooden stairs was proof enough of his arrival for any present members of the Order to hear, too fatigued and all together bleak at the continued state he was living in to announce his presence verbally.
âSirius, sweetheart, youâre home thank goodness,â Not even the warmth of your arms around him or the relief in your voice as you pulled his head into your shoulder could satiate him anymore.
You shouldnât have to be relieved that he walked through the door.
You shouldnât have to hug him like itâs your final goodbye every time he leaves.
Every time you leave.
You didnât deserve that. And neither did he.
âGodric youâre freezing, come and sit down,â You pull Sirius into his childhood bedroom with all of the care of a feather floating on a pool of water, squeezing his hands in yours like youâre trying to transfer your own heat to him.
He follows you with no real resistance, though he doesnât make any move by himself, and you have to push his shoulders down to get him to sit in front of the lit fireplace that would hopefully quell the chill echoing across his skin.
You help him remove his coat with a sigh, dark frown lines marking your features as you take a seat beside him and rest the side of your head against his shoulder, your hand gently tracing over his to capture his palm in your own. He doesnât return the small squeeze of your fingers.
You canât blame him for being so dismal, the situation was something that nobody could make it through without a gargantuan crack in their emotional shield, but seeing Sirius display his almost funereal sentiment so fervently without so much as a hint of a mask was devastating.
Displaying even the tiniest glimmer of hopefulness was what allowed the Order to survive for so long, and Sirius couldnât even muster that.
âHarry said his first word today,â You try to keep the conversation positive, ignore the downfall of everything around you and keep focusing on the small wins. âDada of course, apparently Lily was pretty miffed,â You punctuate your sentence with a small laugh, although itâs more pathetic than genuine and even you can tell youâre doing a horrible job of trying to uplift Siriusâ spirit.
âThey sent over a picture, Remus has it if youâd like to seeââ
âJust stop.â Sirius shakes his head sharply, pulling his hand from yours and standing with his back to you.
âSiriusââ
âI donât know why you keep trying to pretend that everythingâs okay, itâs not. Our friends are dying and youâre acting like its completely fine.â Thereâs more malice in his voice than heâs intending, and logically you know that he doesnât really mean to get so angry at you. It wasnât you that was the problem, it was the world in which you were living.
But logic can often times get overridden by other facets.
âI am trying to stop anyone else from dying.â Your words are more desperate than harsh, and theyâre not laced in anger like Siriusâ are, but they carry just the same amount of conviction. âIf we lose hope then we may as well just hand ourselves overâŠâ
Thereâs a stuttered exhale as you trail off, and Sirius swears he hears your voice crack as you try to take his hand in yours again. âI canât bear to see you like thisâŠâ
âYou should leave the Order.â
Youâre almost not sure you heard him.
âWhat?â
âYou donât belong here, youâre not fit for this,â He sounds almost resigned, and his shoulders drop just enough that youâre not sure he really believes what heâs saying. âYou should leave before you get hurt.â
Thereâs a moment where all you can really do is let out a breath of astonishment, and then thereâs an overwhelming need to defend yourself against Siriusâ accusation. âI am perfectly fit for this, Dumbledore agreed thatââ
âWell I donât agree with it!â He cuts you off harshly, turning around so that you can see the anguish thatâs drenching his features. âPeople are dying, our friends are dying, and you are on the goddamn list of whose next.â
He takes your upper arms in his hand and shakes you like itâs going to make you see his point, practically shouting at you as he desperately tries to get you to see his point of view. âYou are a brilliant witch, and you are in so much danger that it makes me want to rip my heart out so I donât have to worry about you any moreââ
His rant doesnât stop once his hands halt, and they stay gripped uncomfortably tight around your biceps to the point where youâre sure itâll bruise. âDorcus died because she was brilliant, Marlene died because her father was a muggle, you are like the two of them wrapped up in a package practically serving yourself up to the Death Eaters every time you step out of this goddamn house and I cannot take it anymore.â
Sirius practically pants as his yelling comes to a halt, and he almost immediately regrets getting riled up as he sees the reflection of the fireplace in your glassed over eyes.
âI love you. I love you so much and I canât live like this anymore.â His hands move from your arms to cup the sides of your face, and you flinch at the contact like youâre afraid heâs going to hurt you.
It breaks Siriusâ heart.
âThe Order is falling apart love⊠I donât want you to be here when it collapses,â
You pull his hands from your face with yours at his wrists, shaking your head as you blink through clouds of tears. âIâm not leaving the Order, Sirius. You really think I would abandon my friends like that? My family? You?â
âThen Iâll make one of the hard choices for you,â Sirius lets his hands fall to his sides on your prompting, taking a step back from you to hide them in the pockets of his jeans. âIâm breaking up with you.â
âWhatââ Thereâs nothing but absolute betrayal written across your face, and Sirius almost breaks down immediately. âSiriusââ
âIf you want to stay here and watch shit hit the fan then be my guest, but I will not put myself through watching your downfall.â He doesnât give you the courtesy of replying before opening and slamming the door behind him as he leaves, but youâre not sure youâd be able to articulate anything even if he did, your only response being the start of a sob that echoes off of the empty walls and back into your ears to amplify your own anguish.
You move your belongings out of his room that same evening, taking refuge under Remusâ open arms as you cried yourself into an uneasy slumber, so emotionally exhausted that you could barely formulate any sense of coherency.
Lily and James died two days later.
The news hit you like a truck when Dumbledore relayed it to you, and whilst most of the Order were left in a blanket of shock, Sirius took off in a rage before he could even finish his sentence.
It was enough for you to push the grief aside to not cost you any more.
âSirius waitââ You weave your way through the others and past Dumbledore to rush after him, the first words either of you had spoken in the otherâs direction since the argument. âWhere on earth do you think youâre going the Death Eaters might still be thereââ
âI hope they are.â Siriusâ tone drips with venom as he pulls his motorcycle helmet from the coat rack at the front door, and you just barely catch his wrist before he has the chance to leave.
âYouâre going on a suicide missionââ
âThey murdered my brother, I have nothing to lose.â He again leaves the conversation with a slammed door, and you donât know whether the possibility of his death or the fact that heâd seemingly accepted it hurt you more.
He had nothing to lose.
It was the biggest insult he couldâve possibly left you with.
And itâs all he did leave you with.
For twelve years.
You grieved the loss of Sirius like you did James and Lily, like he too had entered into an early grave of which he would never return. Azkaban may as well have been.
You were angry at first, disgustingly loathing the thought of what those twelve poor muggles had to endure as their final moments. You were less empathetic towards Peterâs fate, although your grief for him was replaced with a deep-seeded betrayal that sunk into your muscles all the same.
Then it settled into an uneven weight in the bottom of your chest, something that you carried with you from that point onward.
You moved out of England soon after, with nothing but a silent vow to Remus that if Voldemort were to ever return, that youâd be there, a final standing against the allegiance that stole your life from you.
You couldnât stay there anymore, every street of London reminded you of him, of them, of all the people that you lost and how the prime years of your young adulthood were unceremoniously ripped from you under the false belief that you could actually make a difference.
As weeks turned into months, and then into years, there were days that passed where you didnât think of what happened, of how your previous life had fallen apart and left you as a shell of yourself, and eventually, you managed to pick up the pieces and live your life like it hadnât happened.
Apart from a single shard of your heart that had lodged itself at 12 Grimmauld Place, underneath the black silk sheets you and Sirius once shared.
You were thirty three when a letter from R.J.Lupin was sent through the letterbox of your house, and it was like those twelve years of growth and acceptance disappeared in an instant.
â
âI hope this letter finds you well, I know I promised to contact you only for something of the upmost urgence regarding the resurgence of you know who, but I believe this is appropriately important.
Wormtail is alive. He was the one who caused those muggles to die without reason. Which leaves no question of Padfootâs innocence.
I donât know if you have kept up with the wizarding news, but he escaped from Azkaban, and is in a safe and secure location known only by the Order.
I understand if this news is too much for you to digest, but he has asked me personally for your consideration in returning to the place where everything began.
Yours sincerely,
R.J.Lupinâ
â
The aftermath of your reading was a mess of shallow breaths and an elevated heart rate.
Panic.
You hadnât felt so horrible since the day that James and Lily had died, the day one of your closest friends betrayed you and the love of your life was taken away presumably to never be seen again.
And now he was just out there? You were just adjusting to living without him, and now he was being thrust back into your life by his own doing.
He threw you away right before your house of cards toppled, and now he was trying to worm his way back into your life?
It took you almost three weeks of staring at the sheet of parchment before you made a decision, and it ended with the letter going up in flames and you watching on with a sunken expression, no tears left to cry over the man whoâd ruined you.
All of those months where youâd pondered, where youâd asked yourself over and over again what mightâve happened if youâd have just not spoken to Sirius that day, if youâd just let him rest like heâd obviously wanted rather than try pathetically to lift his mood.
If it mightâve meant he would regard you as something to live for and stop him from blindly running off to avenge James and Lily without a second thought.
All of it went straight down the drain. Because you could have him back if you wanted. But you didnât. You didnât want to go back and see him again because the minute his name invaded your mind all you could think about was that god awful argument and itâs aftermath.
And it ripped you apart every single time.
â
âSheâs not coming PadsâŠâ Remusâ hand on Siriusâ shoulder was almost apprehensive as he gave it a soft squeeze.
It was almost three months of having to watch Sirius treat the front door like it was his lifeline, his head turning at the smallest creak of the wood in the fruitless hope that when it opened you would be on the other side.
âI knowâŠâ Sirius lets out a small, pathetic laugh as he rakes his fingers through his hair, his facade of indifference threatening to break with every breath he took. âCanât blame me for trying though right?â His voice betrays his devastation, tone wavering and quiet, cracking when he tries to push it to sound more convicting.
âPadsâŠâ
âIâm fine,â Sirius shakes his head with a dismissive hand, clearing his throat and blinking away the starts of tears from the corners of his eyes. âIâm gonna go get some sleep, gonna need all I can get if weâre gonna fight these sons of bitches hey?â Sirius nudges Remus with his elbow as he plays a characature of his former self, although itâs poorly executed at best.
âYeahâŠâ Remus consciously suppresses a sympathetic sigh that tries to escape his mouth, pressing his lips together. âGoodnight Pads,â
âGânight Moony,â
â
Thereâs eighteen months of radio silence before another letter is slotted through your door, and you have half the mind to burn it on sight when the familiar red seal is left face up on your patio tiling, but the handwriting on the back wasnât Remusâ, and it was definitely not Siriusâ either.
The scrawl of your address was almost unmistakably Dumbledoreâs, and you were left in an emotional state of uneven limbo as you debated why he of all people would be personally sending you a letter.
Logically, you already knew the reason, but your brain chose to ignore that logic as you ripped the envelope open, only for that denial to be thrown right back at your face once the seal of the Order inked itself into the folded parchment.
You didnât even need to read the letter to know what was inside it.
Three words.
Invitatio ad arma.
A call to arms.
You barely remember packing your bags, leaving the sense of normalcy youâd built over the past fourteen years to throw yourself back into the line of fire and more devastatingly, right back to Sirius Black.
The train ride to England almost felt like a fever dream, your body left in a state of dissociation where you couldnât discern whether your actions were real or just a part of some vivid nightmare that you couldnât wake from no matter how much you tossed and turned.
And by the time you reached the front door of number 12 Grimmauld Place it felt like you were right back where you started, just barely twenty one thrust into a war that could leave you in your grave at any unfortunate minute.
It felt almost foreign to you as you entered, the hallways that once proved to be your substitute home reduced to unfamiliar sights covered in dust and peeling wallpaper. There was no brass lamps to warm the sight, no picture of your closest friends on the wall, not even the mirror that had been hung beside the door had survived, reduced to a half shattered mess that hadnât been replaced under higher priorities.
âOhââ The slightly surprised sentiment draws you away from your almost depressing nostalgia, drawn instead towards an almost perfect capture of teenage James Potter, down to the slanted circular glasses sat over his nose bridge.
Itâs enough for you to genuinely consider for a second that youâd actually stepped back in time, right into your graduation year when you were all so young and full of hope.
But it couldnât be James. As much as your heart desperately wished it was.
âYouâre another member of the original Order of the Phoenix right?â The boy takes a few steps towards you, wonder still lingering in his eyes despite the film of knowledge that cloud them. Knowledge of just how unfortunately dark the world actually is. âItâs nice to meet you, Iâmââ
âHarryâŠâ Your interruption is barely more than a breath of air as you take in the sight of one of your closest friendâs child, a child that he never got to see grow into an almost perfect replica of himself. âYou look just like your fatherâŠâ
Thereâs a mix of shock and a small amount of sadness in his expression at your statement, and itâs enough for the glimpses of Lily to shine through in his demeanour. âThank you,â
Itâs enough for your eyes to well with tears, and you blink them away with a small clearing of your throat to regain your composure in front of the boy. He didnât need to see you cry over the fact that he looked like one of your dead friends with the personality of another. That wasnât fair.
âItâs nice to finally meet you Harry, properly,â You extend your hand almost hesitantly as you introduce yourself, and he takes it graciously in his own with a small sympathetic smile. Being proxy comforted by a teenager, how pathetic.
âItâs nice to meet you too, my parents have good friends,â You give the boy a small nod with a small, sad smile, and he mirrors it himself in turn.
âIâm so sorry, you didnât deserve any of this,â You let your hand rest on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly in a terrible attempt at consoling the sadness riddling his expression. âYouâre just a boy Harry,â
âI know,â He gives a small sigh and a more confident smile, sympathy lingering in the creases of his cheeks in a perfectly Lily fashion. âIâm sorry for your loss too, I know they probably meant a great deal to you,â
âThey still do, thatâs why Iâm here,â
âThank you,â He sounds more confident in his thanks this time, more determined, and the remnants of his parents continue to show on full display as his focus returns to the reason youâd arrived here in the first place. âWeâre about to sit down for dinner, join us?â
âIâll be there shortly,â You give Harry a small nod and another small squeeze of his shoulder before excusing yourself up the stairs to leave your belongings.
â
âGood evening everyone,â Your voice is taught and awkwardly flat as you push open the door to the dining room, and you stand there with your hands wrung together behind your back as your eyes flicker over the room.
There are so many people that the table is almost entirely too crowded, and a mix of familiar and unfamiliar faces in your presence, although those who do recognise you leave their seats almost immediately to greet you properly.
âItâs good to see you,â Remus reaches you first, wrapping you in a secure hug that you happily return with your own.
âItâs good to see you too, Remus, itâs been too long,â
âWelcome back, we need all of the human shields we can get,â Mad Eyeâs reuinionative statement is much less heart felt, but you give him a small laugh and a âThank you,â nonetheless.
Then there was Sirius. Stood at his chair, not daring to walk into your little bubble under fear of whatever consequences that might come from it.
He looked almost as you remembered him, but he was leaner, more gaunt, his hair more unruly and his skin even more paper-white than the almost impossibly pale complexion of his teenage years.
He was still Sirius, but he was different, and it took less than half a second of eye contact for him to realise that you were different too.
âWelcome back,â His voice is hesitant, almost catching in his throat as his brain catches up to the fact that youâre stood in front of him, less than ten feet away after all of those years heâd spent desperately dreaming of what it would feel like to have you in his arms again.
Now you were here. And you were a stranger.
âThank you,â
Dinner progresses pretty much how you expected, a mix of awkwardly introducing yourself to the Orderâs new members and horrifically failing at avoiding eye contact with Sirius from across the table.
Then the topic of interest moves to the Orderâs plans, and things seem to spin into a downwards spiral all too quickly.
âWe donât have enough members to reliably be able to pull this off,â The argument was entirely valid from a logical standpoint, a weakness that quite a few of the Order seemed to have choice opinions about.
âYeah well weâre not getting any new members are we?â Sirius leans back in his chair exasperatedly. âWith the way Fudge is portraying Dumbledore and the lack of official credibility, weâre on our own here, thereâs no use in waiting around,â
âIâm inclined to agree, we all know you know who isnât going to waste any time,
âItâs reckless,â You shake your head with furrowed eyebrows. âWe not ready to face something like that head on.â
âWeâre never going to be ready,â Sirius shakes his head with a sigh. âWe have to take action before he has the chance to build himself back to where he was all those years ago.â
âSirius is right, we need to do something,â Sirius gestures towards Harryâs response like itâs the final nail in the coffin against your reasoning.
âHarry, sweetheart, I appreciate your enthusiasm but you donât know the extent of what weâre dealing with,â Your voice is as gentle as it is assertive, not wanting to put him down too much but also wanting to make sure he understood the true extent of what was going on.
âHe killed my friend in front of meââ
âAnd heâs killed dozens of ours,â You shake your head softly but firmly. âJumping in without a plan is only going to make things worse, trust me.â
He seems more than a little shot down, but he gives you a small nod of understanding nonetheless as he backs down from his standing.
Sirius doesnât pay you the same mind.
âSo youâre suggesting we just wait in hiding for what, forever? We need to act,â
âThe last time you âactedâ, Sirius, you spent twelve years in Azkaban for it.â Your rebuttal holds none of the softness that was present when you were talking to Harry, and you can see it eroding the calcified shield behind Siriusâs eyes.
âThat wasnât my fault,â Sirius presses his teeth together to keep himself from raising his voice, his back straightening alongside his defensiveness. âAt least Iâm trying to do something, if you donât want to contribute maybe you shouldnât be a part of the Order at all,â
âI will not have this argument with you again Sirius!â His chastation seems to finally get under your skin as you rise yourself from your chair with your hands on the dining table, ignorantly ignoring the uncomfortable gazes of everyone else present as youâre forced back into that evening fourteen years go all over again.
âOkay, I think itâs time we called it a night,â Remus, seemingly the only normally functioning person at the table, rises from his chair slowly, taking your shoulders in his hands to guide you away from the group and calm you down.
âYes right you are Remus,â Molly stands up with a nod thatâs almost too enthusiastic clasping her hands together. âOff to bed, all of you,â
You can practically hear the lingering exasperation in Remusâ breathing as he leads you up the stairs and into the room he was staying in, and the second he shut the door behind you you knew what you were in for.
âYou need to speak to him.â
âI know,â
âProperly.â
âI know,â
Youâre sure the sigh you let out echoes across the houseâs first floor, and itâs enough for Remusâ eyes to shift into displaying a concerning amount of sympathy in your direction.
âHe misses you, you know,â Remus takes a seat on the edge of his bed with a soft sigh. âHe said the thought of seeing you again was the only thing that got him through Azkaban,â
âYeah well he wouldnâtâve gone there in the first place if he hadnâtâve been such a hot-headed twat,â You wouldnât lie that Remusâ statement didnât hit you a little where it hurt, but the lingering anger towards Siriusâ situation was clearly still more forefront in your mind.
âItâs a carried trait in all of us âmâfraid,â Remus tilts his head knowingly, and you have half the mind to roll your eyes at the clear implication of what heâs saying.
But he isnât wrong, not really.
âYou know where to find him,â
Thereâs a small moment of silence, then a sigh. âDo I have to?â
âThe longer you wait the worse itâll be,â
Sometimes you hate how logical Remus can be.
With another sigh and a loll of your head, you reluctantly stuff your hands in your pockets and turn towards the bedroom door, muttering a softâand only half genuineââthanks,â in his direction as you leave.
The wooden door that barricaded you from the former love of your life felt more like steel than anything else. Tall, dark, and intimidating to the point where you couldnât even consciously lift your hand to knock against it under the blood rushing behind your ears from how fast your heart was pounding in your ribcage.
It really shouldnât be so scary, youâd spent weeks, months in that room when youâd originally joined the Order, yet now it felt entirely foreign to you.
Maybe it was the fact that the wood was slowly rotting away with how unkept it was. Maybe it was the knowledge of whatâwhoâwas on the other side of it. Or maybe, your mind was just so completely and utterly fucked that the idea of confronting the consequences of your own actions was more nerve-wracking than the idea of standing face to face in a death match with Voldemort himself.
You stand there staring dumbly at the door for almost two minutes, and when it opens your eyes widen like itâs a new form of magic that youâd never encountered.
Sirius halts halfway out the door, arm stretched straight with the doorknob still in hand as his face seems to go through an insurmountable number of emotions in the half-second it takes for him to realise youâre there.
You donât say anything as you make eye-contact, head immediately ducking downward and stepping aside so that he can leave without you blocking his path, but he just stays there, staring at you like you had been the door, and it was becoming increasingly uncomfortable by the second.
You clear your throat with a feigned cough, pursing your lips together with a muttered âexcuse me,â as you turn around to leave, but Sirius catches your wrist in his hand before you even manage to take the first step.
âWaitââ He loosens his grasp almost immediately after he feels a resistance, but his eyes convey just how determined he was to keep you where you were. âLetâs talk, please?â
Thereâs a hint of desperation in his tone, and you almost crumble on that alone, but you manage to maintain your composure with a small shake of your head and a gentle pull of your wrist from his hand. âI donât think itâs worth it Sirius, not anymore,â
âDonât say that, we can fix this,â Sirius mirrors your head shake with his own. âYou just need to talk to me,â
âI tried talking to you Sirius, and look where it got us,â You gesture between the two of you with exasperation in your tone.
Thereâs a small pause where the two of you share and almost identical mask of composure over your agony.
âIt just wasnât meant to be, thatâs it,â
âThatâs not true,â Sirius shakes his head again, more confidently this time, and his inky black curls bounce against his shoulders like theyâre trying to torment you with the memories of your fingers raking through them. âWe can fix this, us, we just have to try,â
âI donât want to argue with you anymore,â You lower your gaze away from his so you donât have to see the heartbreak in his irises. âEspecially not over thisâŠâ
âThen donât, letâs work this out properly, like adults,â He reaches out his hand cautiously towards yours, and you flinch away as your fingers make contact. âPlease,â
âSiriusâŠâ
âIâm sorry.â Sirius lets out a heavy, pathetic breath as he retreats his hand to run it through his hair. âI am so sorry. I made the biggest mistake of my life and it cost me the person that I love more than life and I have suffered the consequences of it every day for the last fourteen years.â
Sirius lets his hands fall to his side with a start, voice beginning to tremble under the strain of his emotions as he desperately tries to voice everything that heâd bottled up over the last decade and a half before you leave him to rot in his own depression again. âI spent every hour in Azkaban imagining what it would be like to see you again, to hear your voice, to hold you and tell you that youâre the one thing in this goddamn hell that we live in that actually makes anything worth fighting for,â
The breaths between his words are shallow and weak, and your expression starts to blur as his eyes glass over with the beginnings of tears. âI love you so much, and Iâm soâ sorry that you had to live through everything I forced on you and I justââ He takes a sharp, stuttering breath in. ââI need you to know that I will spend the rest of my life devoted to you, to correcting what Iâve done even if you donât so much as spare me a glance,â
Heâs not sure when the tears started running over his eyelids, but he can feel them fall in drops to dapple the ivory skin of his fingers. âAnd if I die tomorrow, Iâll take whatever punishment hell has to give me so that you can rest easy,â
The end of his rant is echoed by laboured breathing and a horrific attempt at muffling a sob that leaves his throat, bouncing off the walls of the hallway to settle into your muscles as you stand stationary in an astonished silence.
Youâre not sure what to say. Youâre not sure thereâs anything you can say. How on earth are you supposed to respond to something like that? Something so desperate and raw and real?
Sirius Black, after fourteen years of radio silence, still loved you like youâd never parted.
âSiriusâŠâ
And youâd be absolutely damned if you werenât the same.
âI forgive youâŠâ
Itâs like a tsunami of relief ravages Siriusâ body at your words, barely a whisper escaping your mouth but invading his ear canals like a nuclear explosion, and itâs enough for that sliver of composure remaining to erode under the waves of his tears until heâs sobbing into his hands, hunched over with trembling shoulders as he lets everything go all at once.
âIâm so sorryââ
His final apology is doused in so much heartbreak it might as well rip your heart right out of your chest, and your at his side almost immediately, gently pulling his hand from his face to pull his head into your shoulder with a soft shush of consolation.
He clings to you like itâs the last time heâll ever get the chance to, tears damping the shoulder of your shirt and his arms wrapped so tightly around your torso youâre not sure he intends to ever let go. Youâre not sure youâd complain if he didnât.
That familiar musky scent of cigarettes and faux leather hits your nose once heâs close enough, and thatâs where you break too, silent tears streaming down your face as you bury your nose in his hair.
Youâre eternally grateful that everyone on this floor of the house is already asleep, either that or just polite enough not to interrupt the two of you out in the hallway, because the state the both of you were in was definitely not meant to be seen by other people.
A desolate, broken side to the two of you only trusted in the company of the other.
âStay with me tonight, pleaseâŠâ His plea is barely more than a mutter against your shoulder, and youâre sure he wouldnât even have to ask to know what your answer would be.
And so you find yourself back where you started, tangled up underneath the silky black sheets of Siriusâ bed in the warmth of his embrace, that tiny shard of your heart finally recovered and back in itâs rightful place.
Right where you belong.
#marauders#marauders fanfiction#harry potter fanfiction#sirius black x reader#sirius black#sirius black angst#asks đȘ¶
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đ€đVenus in the signsđđ€
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âïžAll the observations in this post are based on personal experience and research, it's completely fine if it doesn't resonate with everyoneâïž
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đ€Venus in Aries: gives impulsive and receptive love. They fall in love quickly and value mental compatibility. They are magnetic, quick thinkers, but can be demanding and overwhelming in relationships. They enjoy social situations and give surprises to those they love.
đ©·Venus in Taurus: is loving, romantic and sensual, but does not give in easily. Prefers stability and fidelity in love. Is generous with the loved one but can become possessive. Enjoys luxury, nature and the arts, and often has good material fortune.
đ€Venus in Gemini: seeks intellectual connections rather than emotional ones, being frivolous and changeable in love. They value freedom and variety in relationships, enjoying company and diversity of interests. They are attracted to intelligence and a sense of humor in a partner.
đ©·Venus in Cancer: shows an emotionally deep and sentimental nature. They seek emotional security and value loyalty in relationships. They can be maternal or paternal in their approach to love, needing to feel loved and protected. Their home and family are central to their emotional well-being.
đ€Venus in Leo: stands out for its warmth, loyalty and dramatic love. They are ardent romantics who seek attention and applause. They enjoy luxury, parties and creative expressions. They seek devoted love and are generous with their affections, expecting reciprocity and admiration.
đ©·Venus in Virgo: is cold and practical, hindering emotional development. They are meticulous and analytical in love, seeking perfection and security. Sometimes distant, they prefer relationships based on shared interests. They excel in professions that require precision and empathy.
đ€Venus in Libra: is refined and aesthetic, more spiritual than physical in love. They seek harmony and are talented in art and music. Sensitive to the environment, they detest vulgarity. They are romantic but less sensual, they value the soul more than the exterior. Attractive and social, they enjoy company.
đ©·Venus in Scorpio: This is an intensely passionate and emotional position. Love is all-consuming and can lead to obsession. There are possessive and jealous tendencies, with a strong need for control in relationships. This intensity can be both attractive and intimidating.
đ€Venus in Sagittarius: Adventurous and sociable, seeking ideal but ephemeral love. Prefers freedom over deep commitment and can disillusion those seeking long-lasting connections. Emotionally idealistic and outgoing, values ââhonesty and a sense of humor, but can lack tact in intimate relationships.
đ©·Venus in Capricorn: Shows a cold and earthy persona in love, jealous and possessive. They are reserved and require certainty before committing, seeking moral beauty over aesthetics. Slow in relationships, but loyal once committed. Proud, caring and status-seeking.
đ€Venus in Aquarius: Focuses affections on humanity and the spiritual rather than physical passion. They are selfless, popular, and seek intellectual friendships rather than long-term romances. They prefer personal freedom and are prone to friendships rather than love relationships.
đ©·Venus in Pisces: Shows deep devotion and sensitivity, with a tendency to love widely but suffer for wrong choices. They are compassionate, artistic, and intuitive, but can be sensitive and prone to sacrifice themselves for others. Ideal for expressing feelings through art.
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