#sometimes you write 3k words and then just go 'this sucks' and post it anyways

[kittycatcorner]

shows up to give you the coffinchain challenge

Please be more careful when you cross the road You’re a perfect arrangement of rickety bones

Stray cats.

Peter had always likened the apprentices to a group of stray cats, in his mind.

At first it was out of distaste. They were a nuisance; a band of drifters slinking around the alleyways, catching their quarries unaware. The quick, sharp jab of a hypodermic needle might as well have been the efficient killing bite that a cat might deliver to the throat of its prey. They worked in the shadows, occupying all of those lonely abandoned buildings and reworking them for a new, twisted purpose. 

Then, begrudgingly, he’d found himself wrapped up in Mark Hoffman. Chasing him, hunting him, hellbent on bringing him to justice, then on killing him, then on understanding him, then…

Well, Peter didn’t know what he was doing now. 

All he knew was that sitting in his apartment, in varying states of composure, were three of Jigsaw’s disciples. 

Dr. Gordon sat on his couch, eyes trained down as his hands worked on bandaging a fresh wound on the arm of his younger accomplice. Stanheight sat quietly and allowed for the medical attention with little fight. Hoffman himself sat on the floor, back leaned against the couch close to the other two. 

Peter remained standing, trying not to buckle at the absurdity of his situation. In true stray-animal nature, he had made the mistake of allowing Hoffman into his home once, twice, thrice, and now he’d come back with friends. 

‘Don’t feed the strays’, indeed. 

Accept that he did know the other two, at this point. The polite Dr. Gordon was well-spoken and direct; Peter had found him infuriating in the beginning. He was a hard man to interrogate and an even harder man to intimidate, as level and unflinching as he was. Unlike Peter, he never seemed to let his anger get the best of him, and he seemed to know that. Dr. Gordon was a man who always seemed very aware of how much more control he had in the conversation. It was enviable. 

Then there was Adam Faulkner-Stanheight. Mouthful of a name. It was strange enough for Peter to wrap his head around the fact that the kid was alive, let alone working with Jigsaw. He was angry- had more rage in his scrawny little body than what felt possible. Stupid and impulsive, Peter had found him annoying. Just a petulant adolescent who had gotten himself into bigger trouble than he yet realized. 

They’ve come a long way since then. Both apprentices had grown on him, maybe because they reminded him of himself in their amalgamate qualities. The cold, callous bluntness of the doctor. The white-hot temper of the kid. The way he had never seen the former so gentle nor the latter so complacent until now, as they patched themselves together on his bloodied furniture. 

Peter had been reluctant to welcome them all inside. It was bad enough to shelter one serial killer, but now three? It reminded him that everything he’s been doing as of late is against what he once stood for. Fuck, it would solve a hell of a lot of his own problems if he didn't care. If he’d let them all rot, make them regret thinking that Peter would risk his own hide just because he's been friendly with them. Dr. Gordon and Stanheight had seemed to understand this too. Their expressions had been apprehensive, looking ready to flee like the animals they were. Peter wonders how long ago he would have given chase. 

Hoffman had spoken, then. 

“I didn’t-” His voice was shot and exhausted. “I didn’t know where else to go, Strahm.” 

And just like that, Peter took them in. Those words were all it took. Hoffman limped inside on a bad leg and described some sort of police-raid, premature. John Kramer and Amanda Young hadn’t even been there, so it had just been the trio, and they were forced to flee. Unable to go far on foot in their current state, Hoffman had brought his injured companions here. To Peter. 

Why did that make something strange stir within him? 

The three of them were soaked to the bone from the rain. Peter watched Hoffman sluggishly attempt to remain alert, but every so often his head would lull and come to rest against the soft thigh of Dr. Gordon. If the doctor noticed it, he didn't say a word as he continued to diligently work. He looked tired. Stanheight was putting on the best brave face he could manage, but Peter’s keen eyes caught his shoulders trembling, only eased when Gordon’s hand came to rest on one and rubbed gently. They all looked so tired. 

Unable to watch any longer, Peter finally broke the silence. 

“So why are you still doing this?” It took everything in him to not fidget idly as he spoke, brows furrowed at the three men. 

All eyes were on him quite suddenly, sharp as they regarded him. Three clever pairs of observant eyes that all screamed out ‘I know more than I’m letting on' to Peter. He held their gazes, muscled arms crossed over his chest. 

“You know what I’m talking about.” He scoffed, lip curling. “What’s the point of doing the old man's dirty work when he just lets things like this happen to you?” 

Silence.

Hoffman broke first. He laughed, eyes closing as he rested more fully against the couch. It was good-natured but ultimately dismissive. 

Dr. Gordon frowned at Peter, one brow quirked as if he had asked them something incredibly naive. Like he expected Peter to know already. 

Stanheight didn't react. Not outwardly, anyways. He only stared, something new and strange glittering in his eyes that Peter couldn't place.

“What,” Peter grit his teeth, an edge to his voice. Less of a question and more of a prompt. 

“Nothing, nothing. Apologies, Mr. Strahm.” Gordon sighed, turning his attention back to his handiwork. He appeared to nearly be done with the worst of Stanheight’s injuries now. “It’s just… not that simple.”

“Not exactly the kinda job you can put your two weeks in for.” Hoffman corroborated, a smirk tugging at his full lips. 

Peter felt his face burn hot, and he huffed in frustration. “You fucking- Don’t play dumb. Don’t act like it’s a stupid question. I’ll throw you back out onto the fucking curb.” He jabbed a finger at Hoffman in particular, who for his part did indeed shut his mouth. “You listening? Good. What I’m saying is that John Kramer is one demented old man. What is actually stopping you?” 

This time, the quiet was punctuated by Hoffman and Gordon exchanging an uncomfortable glance. After a moment, Hoffman shrugged and ran one hand through his damp, messy hair. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the concept of, uh, checks ‘n balances.” 

Peter raised an eyebrow skeptically. Hoffman continued. 

“Information is power, etcetera. Kramer keeps basically everything on a need-to-know basis. Including, I dunno, who you’re workin’ with half the time. Hell,” He rolled his eyes, and lazily raised a hand behind his head to pat Gordon’s arm. The doctor made an annoyed noise in response, shifting away from him. “He only told me about these lovebirds when he needed help lookin’ after ‘em.” 

“I’m still mad about missing out on a trip to Mexico.” Stanheight quipped. His voice was softer than normal, but Peter supposed it was a good sign that he was speaking at all. He wasn’t used to the younger man being so quiet. 

Gordon straightened up a moment later, gently patting down the new bandages and brushing some of the hair from Stanheight’s face. “There you go.” He sighed. The warmth in his tone was so palpable that Peter had the distinct feeling it wasn’t meant for his ears. Despite being in his own apartment, he somehow felt he was intruding. “Get comfortable, alright?” 

Peter watched as Stanheight pulled himself to his feet, stopping short just a little ways away from him with an awkward shuffle. Gordon patted his thigh and spoke his next words like they took all of his energy to say. 

“Your turn.” He didn’t even bother to look at Hoffman. The detective grinned anyways, wasting no time in clamoring up into Gordon’s personal space and slinging his leg across the man’s lap. Gordon shook his head disdainfully, but carefully began rolling back Hoffman’s torn pant leg anyways. 

Peter guessed he wasn’t the only one that Hoffman lived to irritate.

“Christ, Mark.” Gordon sucked in a sharp breath, and Peter’s shoulders stiffened as he took a step forward to look. His stomach sank despite himself; from where he was standing Hoffman’s calf looked like a bloody mess. Peter’s a man who’s seen more gore in his line of work than anyone should hope to see in their lifetime, and yet here he is, staring in alarm. It was unlike him, and woefully he could only attribute his own uneasiness to the owner of the calf. 

As if he could read his mind, Hoffman looked up towards Peter. “Hey, it’s just-” He winced, hissing in pain as Gordon began to clean the wound. “It’s no big deal- no bullet inside. Just grazed me.” 

“You were shot?” Peter balked.

“Grazed,” Hoffman corrected. 

Peter pinched the bridge of his nose in a quick-rising frustration. Hoffman was impossible. 

“Don’t be an idiot.” Gordon’s voice was little more than a growl as he spoke through gritted teeth. “You took an unnecessary risk. Do you think I enjoy patching you back together? Honestly, if I didn't know any better I’d assume you were trying to get your sorry self killed.” 

Dr. Gordon’s tone left the detective bristling. “Don’t tell me how to do my job.” He scoffed. “Hell, I don’t bother you when you’re workin’ in the sickbay. Why don't you just- fuck!” 

Hoffman yelped at the unceremonious splash of disinfectant. Gordon gave him the sort of well-practiced fake smile that only a doctor could.

“My bad,” he murmured, unapologetic. 

Peter decided he’d seen enough. He turned on his heel and walked into the kitchen, telling himself that he was just stepping aside to get ice in case the doctor needed some. He knew it wasn't the truth, though; he scolded himself quietly as he leaned against the wall and ran a hand through his graying hair. 

The truth was that he couldn't keep standing there, staring at Hoffman’s leg injury. 

It’s ironic, because it feels like not too long ago that Peter would have done anything to put a bullet in Hoffman. Now the thought makes him feel… queasy. And a bit confused. 

Peter found himself comparing the apprentices to strays again.

He couldn’t get the image of roadkill splattered on the side of the highway out of his head. 

From what he knew of John Kramer and his cult, the apprentices were expendable parts. It doesn't even sound like they can trust each other half the time. One wrong move or fatal mistake would be all it took. Peter wasn't even sure how long it would take him to know something had happened. 

His thoughts were interrupted by footsteps so quiet that he knew exactly who they belonged to before turning around. Stanheight stood at the entryway of his bare-bones kitchen, watching him. He’s probably spent the least amount of time alone with him. 

“What is it?” Peter’s frown deepened.

The kid didn't answer immediately, instead coming to lean against the wall beside him. He was quiet for a moment, and then shrugged. 

“Wanted to check on you, I guess.” He answered simply. 

“Check on me? In what way do I need checking on?” Raising a brow, Peter gestured towards the living room. “Look at you three, for fuck’s sake.” 

Stanheight held his hands up defensively. “Hey, hey, I just- I get it, alright?”

Peter didn't know what that meant. He stared down at the shorter man, scowl ever-present, silently prodding him to elaborate. Stanheight’s expression was… almost sympathetic, but his eyes had that same strange look from before: the one that Peter couldn't place. 

The kid was easy to underestimate, Peter knew it from his file and from his current involvement. He wasn't about to make that mistake with him. 

“Sucks, doesn't it?” Stanheight finally said. He was muttering now, glancing once over his shoulder to ensure they were still alone. “One thing to know what they're doing and another to see them come back with blood and bits of their skin hanging off.”

Peter felt his stomach turn. “No,” he lied. “If Hoffman’s gonna be reckless and get himself killed then so be it.” 

“No matter what you or anyone else thinks, I’m not stupid.” Stanheight laughed dryly. “You don't gotta lie to me, okay? I’m on team Peter here.” 

“Are we forgetting that you’re one of ‘them’ too?” Peter steeled his gaze, unamused. 

Stanheight grimaced. “I mean- kind of. Not really.”

“‘Not really?’ What’s that mean?” 

“I- like- like I’m with them but I’m not one of them. Old Johnny-boy has never and will never give a shit about me. Not exactly in the running to be his heir or whatever the others think will happen.” Stanheight huffed, rolling his eyes as he explained. “Pretty sure he wouldn't even notice if I went missing if it weren't for the pictures ‘n schedules I go and get for him.”

Peter is quiet for a moment. 

“Why stick around?” He asked softly, already knowing the answer. 

The kid just snorted in lieu of answering, and the two fell into silence once more for a couple of seconds. 

“Glad that Mark has you.” Stanheight suddenly murmured, thoughtful. 

“He does not ‘have me’.” 

“Maybe you can knock some sense into him.” 

Peter scoffed, looking elsewhere. “You’re frustrating, you know that?”

“I’ve been told.” Stanheight laughed, “I’m not kidding, though. It always freaks me out how Mark gets when he’s like…” 

Raising a brow, Peter waited for him to sort out his thoughts. 

“Like, when he gets hurt, right? He just- just runs off. Or he’ll go and get hammered on the other side of town and when we find him he’s a mess.” 

At that, Peter’s shoulders went rigid. He was aware of Mark’s habits, his unhealthy coping mechanism. He hadn't thought about who else might know, how deeply it might run. He hadn't thought about how often Mark must be alone. 

When he looked back at Stanheight, he realized the kid was staring at him intently. There was concern in his expression, but also something fierce. 

“John’s really messed him up. Worse than he was before all of this.” His voice was low, almost cautious. “All of them. Lawrence, Mark, Mandy, none of them deserve this. You know that, right?”

Peter’s mouth felt dry. “I…” 

Straightening up again, Stanheight stepped closer to Peter. Before he could see it coming, a smaller hand took his own and held it, inspecting it. “I think Mark needs you.” He said, “maybe all of us do. So you gotta take care of yourself too.” 

Something confused seemed to bloom in his chest then, an uncertain warmth that he could feel rise up to his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again when he couldn't decide on anything to say. 

“Just think about it, ‘kay?” Stanheight let go of his hand again and started to leave the kitchen, pausing for just a moment to look back at him. “Oh, one more thing.” 

“What is it?” Peter’s voice was hoarse. 

Stanheight gave him a grin that didn't meet his eyes. “Welcome to the family.” 

Then he was gone, Peter’s protest to that statement dying on his lips, and Peter was left to think on everything he said. 

Hoffman needing him. Hoffman hiding himself away in dark corners to nurse his wounds. Improperly set bones and too much bandage. 

Stray cats.

Peter’s family used to have cats. His sister’s cat had been an old, white, raggedy thing that she named Alfredo. When Alfredo passed away, he had hidden under the bed and refused to come out. Peter thinks he remembers reading somewhere that pets do that on purpose, so their humans don't have to see them die, but it's been years and his animal knowledge is limited. 

Peter wondered how hard it is to socialize a stray cat. To reintroduce it to domesticity. 

He stepped out of the kitchen, lingering at the entryway, and watched the apprentices from where he stood. Gordon seemed to have finished with Hoffman’s leg, speaking to him in a quieter tone than before. To his surprise, Hoffman looked like he was listening. Stanheight was on the couch with them now, leaning his head onto Gordon’s shoulder. 

Peter found that he wished he could freeze this moment with the three of them in it. The bubble of safety that was his living room felt far away from everything Jigsaw. Maybe they were always meant to be here, on soft furniture, and not crouching amongst rusted pipes and jagged metal. 

Tamed. Domesticated. 

He sighed through his nose and walked around the couch, three sets of clever eyes on him again as he caught their attention. Now that he was there, he could see that Dr. Gordon had just begun to wrap up Hoffman’s leg and he silently motioned to ask for the gauze, kneeling down between them.

Understanding the gesture, Gordon handed it over, smiling at Peter warmly enough to raise his body temperature by a degree. 

“Strahm-” Hoffman started, bewildered, but Peter simply began wrapping his leg neatly. 

“Shut up.” He grunted. “Let me help you, stupid.”

[vaspider]

Since I just turned off reblogs on another post that quickly went from "let's have fun" to "this is fucking awful, I'm taking away this toy," please read this BlueSky thread from rahaeli, who I don't think is on here.

Most of it I've c/p for ease of readability bc BSky's threading sucks.

Okay, it's time again to talk about what the experience of having a social media account with a bunch of followers (*) is like. (* "a bunch" of followers is platform dependent. I'm getting irritating shit at 2k on Bluesky I didn't get until 10k on Twitter.)

(Ugh, wait, nevermind, I hit 3k while I wasn't looking. Anyway.) Someone who has never had more than 100 followers literally cannot comprehend the sheer volume of the responses you get. Even if individual posts don't get a ton of replies, if you post with any frequency, it accumulates.

Once you hit the first degradation threshold, your experience gets a little bit shittier. It's overwhelming volume, but the people who are following you are mostly ideologically, socially, and culturally aligned to you. You have the same concept of social media manners.

You'll get a few duplicate comments, because nobody reads the comments before they reply, but they're mostly from cool people, so you just roll your eyes a little at the same joke five times. You still make friends. You still have fun and can wind up finding neat new people.

And then those neat new people retweet your stuff, and it starts reaching out to an audience of people who are less aligned with what you think of as social media manners. You start getting some replies you find obnoxious: they're in good faith, you can tell, but they just grate on you sometimes.

And then *those* people start reposting your more viral threads, and you get people following you who are three degrees of separation from the people you are most likely to vibe with. And three degrees of separation is the second degradation threshold.

The second degradation threshold is where you start getting the constant, low-grade sand-in-a-pearl annoyances. The person who wants to argue with everything. The 15 people making the identical shitty "joke" that's actually just doing the exact thing you're complaining about, "ironically".

The people who look at a post that contains no question marks and think "there is an implied question here and I will answer it!" and leap to offer the most basic advice that you already thought of because you have existed for more than three seconds and can, in fact, think of the obvious answers.

The people who are spoiling for a fight no matter what, because you used one word in the post that is their particular berserk button and they're going to scream at you for hating waffles because you said you like pancakes even though you never mentioned waffles.

It is constant. It is never-ending. You cannot escape it. Every time you post anything at all, opening the app means wading through twenty garbage replies for every reply from someone who is actually cool and you'd vibe with just fine if you chatted with them.

You want to bitch about a minor annoyance? There will be 40 people all giving you the same useless advice. You want to squee about something you're enjoying that's making you happy? There will be 40 people coming to scold you because that thing isn't morally pure enough.

Every post. Every day. About 75% of the time you compose a post, you will get halfway through writing it and think "I can't deal with the replies this will get today" and delete it. You stop talking about things you enjoy, because you're tired of people shitting on them.

You stop complaining about the tiny annoyances in your life that you want to bitch about, because weirdly enough you already HAVE tried the first fifteen obvious suggestions you're going to get, and you don't want to spend an hour explaining why they won't work to everyone who's "helping".

(But you can't just ignore the "helpful" posts and not engage with them, because then you start getting accusations of being "elitist" and "standoffish" and jesus, lady, we're just trying to help here, why do you have to be so fucking rude and stuck-up, you full of yourself bitch.)

If you are any less gracious to the 40th person than that person thinks they deserve, there is a very good chance they're going to call you a cunt and drag allot their friends in to dogpile you and make the site unusable for at least three days.

The third degradation threshold is when you start needing to regularly call your local police department and politely remind them there are people who get very mad at you online and will try very hard to have you murdered by armed agents of the state and you'd appreciate it if they didn't do that.

I first had that conversation with my local police department in 2003. It's gotten faster now, at least? You usually don't have to start by explaining what social media even is.

Bluesky has tighter thresholds than Twitter did. On Twitter it was nicely exponential: the breakpoints were around 1k, 10k, 100k. Bluesky is running faster. I'm getting Twitter 10k annoyances at a Bluesky 3k. I am trying very, very hard not to switch over into Twitter 10k defensive posting.

I want to leave the defensive posting back on Twitter. I really do. I want to be able to bitch about a thing without having to wade through 20 "go try [extremely obvious thing]". I want to post about a thing I enjoy without 20 people yelling at me I'm bad for enjoyjng it.

There's a difference between arguing about an idea (which I love) and the onslaught of constantly infuriating replies plucking at your last goddamn nerve. And the more "last goddamn nerve" replies you get, the crankier you are, and then people lose their shit at you because you snapped at them.

So maybe let's all start keeping a few principles in mind: 1) if there's more than one reply, check to see if your point has already been covered. If it has, you don't need to repeat it.

2) Even the funniest joke gets old after the 20th time you hear it in 3 hours.

3) "I'm going to jokingly do the exact thing you just were complaining about because ha ha the real joke is I would never do that asshole thing" is never funny, and it is indistinguishable from you actually doing the asshole thing.

4) If there is no question mark in the tweet, think twice about offering "helpful" advice unless you and the poster know each other *mutually*, not just parasocially, you know it's likely to be new info for them, and you ask "do you want to hear how I handle this?" first and get an affirmative.

5) If you are going to ignore 4, ask yourself "is this a suggestion that someone with a reasonable level of generalized adult knowledge would think of trying within the first 15 minutes of approaching the problem?" If so, do not suggest it.

6) Do you really need to nitpick that grammar, spelling, or word choice? Did you understand what they were trying to say before autocorrect mangled it or they blanked on the exact word they wanted and found a close one? If you understood the meaning, don't be their volunteer copyeditor.

7) Is someone excited about a thing you hate? Are they having fun with the thing? Is the thing a front for white supremacist recruiting or organizing the overthrow of the US government? If the answers are yes, yes, and no, respectively, shut the fuck up and let people enjoy things.

8) We are all occasionally That Commenter. If someone you have a pre-existing relationship with replies to you and lets you know you're being That Commenter, it's because they have a positive enough impression of you they don't want to go straight to block. Treat this like the warning sign it is.

9) It deserves repeating: remember the Law of Large Numbers. Even if you only commented once, you may be the hundredth irritating comment that person got that day. Bluesky's terrible threading makes this worse: people don't keep a single thread of mounting crankiness the way they did on Twitter.

9a) If someone's top tweet sounds really annoyed at something, maybe check their timeline or follow back their nested self-QTs to see what level of irritable they're at and over what so you don't step straight on the same rakes they've been dodging all day.

10) However, remember that BSky also doesn't show replies made by people the OP has blocked in a thread. If they post about a pattern that's making them cranky and you look and don't see anything, they probably already blocked the worst of it. They still saw it in their mentions in order to block.

I really cannot overstate how absolutely exhausting and soul-destroying the experience of having a large account can be. It's also somehow still rewarding, or we wouldn't do it. But especially if you're a woman or a person of color or a female POC, that balance is really, really close most days.

And of course, the ones who stay are the ones who do find it still rewarding enough to keep doing it despite the constant irritations.

From here, the thread moves into a conversation about stuff specific to BlueSky, but the majority of the thread is truly applicable to Tumblr as well.

You may be the first person to comment "op lives on a planet without music," or "op has never heard of [thing OP didn't mention for whatever reason]," but you're probably not, and at a certain point, it becomes like someone tapping a sunburn.

So yeah.

[zyrafowe-sny]

What should you do if you feel like loser and absolute waste of space and garbage in the writing community? Like everyone hate you (all the talented well known people at least), your ideas suck, you'll never be popular or get request or anything like that and you'll never have the same amount of friends or support or love as others because you're stupid and annoying and your writing suck and everyone hate you and nothing you do matter? Like you'll never be successful or reach mile stone no matter how much you try like you had opportunity to but you screw it up because you stupid and annoying and dumb and now it's too late?

Hi Anon,

I don't really feel qualified to respond, but I'm going to give it a go anyway and hope that any of this is helpful.

The "writing community" is anyone who wants to try their hand at writing. It includes both the second grader putting together a handmade book during rainy day recess and the award-winning, bestselling professional author. There's no cap to the number of writers. There's no such thing as a waste of space.

"Hate" seems like an awfully strong word. I know it's frustrating when fics don't get the engagement that you want - and don't get attention from people you admire - but sometimes fics have a niche audience and sometimes people are busy. Personally, I've had stretches when I just can't read much at all or only very specific things (like stuff under 3k and nothing too intellectual). Reasons include: life being busy, general executive dysfunction, (rare) stretches when I am super-focused on writing, not wanting to read things too similar to what I'm working on, etc. For several months I just felt overwhelmed by the thought of leaving thoughtful comments and that tricked me into just not reading at all (don't be like me).

Popularity is... complicated. "Success" is complicated. If you're just looking at kudos... a not insignificant chunk is being in the right fandom at the right time (while also writing what lots of people are interested in). Here's a good overview about writing for kudos and how that doesn't relate to quality. You can have super-interesting ideas, but sometimes those ideas have a small audience (and that's ok if that's the story that speaks to you!). Honestly, I think all writers need to write at least one super-niche fic to readjust expectations about AO3 stats.

As for requests... Not all writers like getting them and not all readers like making requests? If I see that someone shared a prompt list ask game post, I'll send an ask, but that's usually it.

As for getting support... sometimes it can come from outside your fandom and from Internet strangers (or real life people in writing groups). I've been trying out this WIP Wednesday game because I wanted some encouragement to make progress, and a good chunk of people who nudge me to write don't follow me and won't ever read the final fic.

As for writing quality... That's also complicated. For one, people have different tastes (my eyes start to glaze over during long fight scenes or long descriptions, but other people eat that up). There are seemingly more-objective criteria (spelling, grammar, etc), BUT: people's knowledge of "the rules" isn't static and can be improved, sometimes it's fine to ignore "the rules" for style, lots of non-native English speakers write fanfic and that can lead to some charming (if less standard) writing, and one of the joys of fanfic is that it doesn't have to follow the norms of published fiction. If there is something that you want to work on in your own writing (for example, description and plot don't come easily to me), there are ways to practice. But only if you want to. Only if it's part of the fun. (Fun doesn't always mean easy.)

As for milestones... I don't know what milestones you're going for, but word count is the one most in your control. Getting that up isn't trivial, but the important thing is to keep chugging along.

I *know* it's hard not to obsess over AO3 stats or compare yourself to other people. I *know*. But try to remember that it's not a race or a competition. Writing is supposed to be fun (as much as writers like to complain about it sometimes). It's fine to want validation and encouragement, but stressing too much about the numbers/how much engagement you're getting can suck all the fun out of the process.

And it's never, ever too late. I took a loooong break from creative writing and sometimes I regret that, but I had other life experiences during that hiatus that help inform my writing now. We write when we have stories to tell and the life circumstances that let the words come out.

I don't know if any of my rambling was useful, but I wish you all the best, Anon. Take care and be kind to yourself. No one else can tell the same story that you can.

[griefabyss69]

directors commentary on acceptance and negation pls!

this dynamic is super hard to find in fics and you did it sooo well while keeping them in character!

Thank you so much!! Making the characters believable is like my #1 goal most of the time and this one was very heavy on situations that we definitely don't see in canon LMAO

Okay first of all - same! The "lost bet / rivals / begrudgingly super into this" dynamic is one of my favorite things to read and I also find it hard to find written properly. There's a needle to thread there for sure, and people often go too far one way or another (for MY tastes, this isn't a moral judgement).

Rivals to lovers is like catnip to me when done well - two people who are at odds with each other but obsessed enough to not just ignore each other, instead they perhaps concoct a little bet that ends with one of them cumming in their jeans, or something :' )

I think Steve and Eddie have a GREAT canon set up for this dynamic, and I know I've read it before and found it satisfying, though that dynamic resolved before they got to the sex. Even if you do a post-S4 Eddie lives, there's still plenty of rival potential!

So in this fic in particular, I had the theme (forniphilia) and a little tiny summary of an idea (I have them for my whole philia series, which is NOT how I usually write), and so I didn't just open a blank document and then get possessed for 7 hours and have this out of nowhere.

Usually I get a vibe/sliver of an idea/a sentence or a theme, and then I start writing and usually it flows in a satisfying enough way that I don't mind when it doesn't go how I initially thought it would, that's typical for me and how I do anything really. But I had to keep this on the rails!

Luckily those rails were for a train that's been living in me for longer than I've been writing for ST. When I started the paraphilia series the fics were all supposed to be short - it was mostly for a writing exercise type of thing, warm ups, etc. Buuuuut this one was written in two sessions, edited in another two, and turned out to be like 18K.

I don't use a word program that has a word counter, because that's distracting to me (my editing is done in one though, it lags too much for my typing speed anyway, I have an old laptop, but this set up works well enough for now), so sometimes I'll check on the wordcount. I remember checking this one at around 3K like 'alright! Better wrap it up!'.

Yeah.

I had a lot of fucking fun with this one, walking the tight rope of "okay they're horny as hell and this is getting unrealistic, but I'll keep the emotional/social thread of it properly done". And I imagine between two kinky ass people this kind of situation IS realistic, even when they're rivals!

This was honestly a really fun character exploration of a different kind of Steve than I usually write - a lot of my writing is an Eddie POV to begin with, but then either it's Steve being series or Steve being horny, not this. I think it's more well rounded, and usually I don't have him pushing his limits like this - in my head that's more of an Eddie thing to do, he's a bit of a thrill seeker - but in a situation where he has something bigger than just following what he wants to do, that's a good moment to discover some new shit about himself. Growth happens in a lot of ways, sometimes it's when you have to get on your hands and knees to your rival can use you as a footstool, you know how it is!

Steve's experience was a fun balance, including his struggle to keep from just giving into the easier feeling of believing Eddie's being kind when he has no real evidence of that - he's being smart tbh, whether he's right or wrong. Not letting himself fully sink into the experience even though it was so tempting, like a warm bath after a cold day. Getting a little sucked into the fuzzy space anyway, enjoying it despite everything. Lots for him to think about!!!

Another thing to balance was Eddie, how mean he was going to be, any potential consent issues - it's one thing to order a person around, another thing to bring sex into it - usually with this kind of limit pushing there's trust involved, talking beforehand, etc. But this wasn't like that, there had to be a progression that was really based on like, a few failsafes and trusting each other to not go too far. Then Eddie taking care of him while still ordering him around - that was obvious on purpose, both to the reader and to Steve - because otherwise Steve would've just left and while Eddie loves that he got to torment him and edge him and then watched him ruin his own orgasm by accident, that level of intensity can't just stop without a soft place to land.

I gotta say. The reception to this one definitely surprised me, I don't think I've had people asking for a sequel more than with this one - I gotta stick to my rule with it though, this was a one shot. I simply have one hundred million WIPs (around 50 now that I WANT to finish, and like 100 more ideas I hope to write… as unrealistic as that is). People have been SO nice and supportive in the comments on this one, both on the fic and then either in my inbox or DMs on here!

That doesn't mean I'm not exploring Steve and forniphilia in other fics though, I have a WIP that doesn't have the rival to lovers dynamic, it focuses more on the kink itself. Before writing Acceptance and Negation I knew I was kind of interested in exploring it, but knowing I have an interest and getting around to it are two different things, but writing this really helped me start with that!

But I do really hope to figure out this dynamic in another situation, maybe another paraphilia fic because rivals and kinky shit goes REALLY well together in terms of kicking up the tension. (In fact, Waves - the saliromania / spit fic - was going to be rivals, but I actually had that one started as it's own thing before I realized I liked it much better than the little summary I had for that kink. No regrets there, but there's plenty of room in my ideas for more rivalry!!!)

Okay this is long as HELL so I'm going to end it here before I start writing another thousand words!! Thank you again anon <3

[elles-writing]

The Sounds of Home - Kili x reader

Kili x reader

Requested: Yes, by @terri205​

Request:  Hello there - I read one of your previous posts about taking requests so here i am asking for a drabble or oneshot with some domestic life / husband x wife with children with Kili even though his character died I really cannot get over him. Hope you are still writing for him . ( dwarf x human if that helps .. also can the height difference be erased for now ? Yk Aidan is a tall boy 😁🙃 ) wish you having a great day!

Word count: around 3k

A/N: Of course!! I write a lot for Kili, because I feel like there’s not a lot of fanfics for him, that people actually think more of Fili and Thorin, but hey, this little cute pup needs love too! (Just like Lindir. He’s also adorable.) And I’ve red somewhere on Pinterest that Thorin is actually tall 5′2 ft, which is like only solid 2 inches smaller than me (okay, I’m barely 5′4 ft)!! And Kili’s only a bit smaller than Thorin!! I’ll look for that picture and if I find it, i’ll put it here.

A/N II: I feel like my writting sucks at most of this one, I’m so sorry! I wanted it to be much, much better, but I just somehow don’t really know how to rewrite it, so I’m posting it anyways. I want to write something similar in the future, so I’ll tag you to it.

A/N III: I wrote some extra part and edited it, so now I can say I’m quite happy with it!

Tw: pregnancy, mentions of sex

Okay, so here it is. I found it on pinterest, but it’s from tumblr @richardarmitagequotes​ . Here is the link to it.

Playlist you don’t have to listen, but I was writting during listening to these songs: Taylor Swift - cartigan, Taylor Swift - exile, The Chainsmokers - Paris, Porcelain Black - One Woman Army, Taylor Swift - august, 

It was such a long time ago when did this happened...

This was how you started your children’s bedtime story, which was their favourite - it was the story of how did their parents - you and Kili - have met and long adventure that was avaiting behind them to reclaim Erebor. About you, a young human girl, who was curious and wanted to see the world, and him, young dwarf prince, who wanted to help to reclaim his home again. And surely wasn’t counting on finding love, but yet you were here - Kili, you and your children - living in a cottage a bit aside from Erebor and Dale.

It was a sunny day, you and your children working at the garden. You were in the middle of placing tomatoes to your handbasket, when a loud scream came to your ears. You looked up and sighed at the sight of your son scaring your daughter with earthworm on a stick, which was moving around.

“Vili, stop scaring Ainiel with that earthworm. Go back to taking out the carrots out, alright? And let Ainiel to pick the berries.” Your son shook his head and went back to taking out the carrots, putting the earthworm to his hand and mumbling something to it before putting it back to the hole, where was one big carrot before.

You looked at him by the corner of your eye. He has the same hair as his father, face features, very similar personality, the only thing was his eyes - they were brown with slight e/c in them. Your daughter has gotten her father’s hair texture, face shape and a bit of his joking personality, but from you she’ve gotten her bookworm-self, able to read all day, and thinking carefully about things. Otherwise, she would be your dupe.

You looked over to your youngest child - your second daughter, who was sitting in the grass and creating a flower tiara from daisies. When she was done, she jumped up and with squealing runned to her sister and putted the tiara on her head. She let out a bubbly laugh, as toddlers do, and runned to you.

“Mama, Ainiel is a princess! I am a princess! Mama is a princess!” And placed flowery tiara she finished earlier in your hair. You smiled and she sat down to you, looking up to sky.

“Is there going to be a storm?” You looked up and noticed the dark clouds, quickly approaching. You took your youngest daughter to your arms, your basket hanging from your forearm.

“Vili, take the carrots, Ainiel, take the basket with berries, Lila...” you looked in the toddler’s eyes.

“Hold your tiara, dearie.” You looked over the garden and noticed movement on the other side of the garden on your backyard. Then someting let out a ‘meow’.

It’s probably just some cat, you thought when a typical little furry tale glimpsed through the grass. It wasn’t unusual for cats to be wondering around your house, since in a Dale many people were having cats as pets.

When you were inside, a hard rain started. You sighed out, placed Lila and the basket with tomatoes down in the kitchen, and went over to fireplace to start a fire.

Once the room was filled with warm light and sound of cracking wood, your children started with washing and clearing the vegetables. Vili and Ainiel only, because Lila was sitting on the chair cuddled in blanket. She was afraid of thunders and storms, and even though there was no thunder, there was sometimes a lightning across the sky and she squealed and jumped up.

You made a luke-warm tea for Lila and while she was sipping it, you were cutting the vegetables and meat and cooking stew.

Once the meal was done, you looked out through the window. It was raining really hard still, so you decided to take your children and cuddle behind the fireplace with tea and either read to them or tell them some story.

Once you and your children sat down, blankets were all over the place and Vili and Lila fighting over one of them.

“Lila, give it to me, you have it all the time!”

“No, I want it! Give it to me!” Vili teared out the blanket from her hands and she squealed when she fell down. She started sobbing and then vailing. Vili’s eyebrows furrowed and he kneeled down to her.

“I’m so sorry, Lila, I didn’t wanted to hurt you! Look, you can take the bla-” She teared the blanket from his hands and stick out her tongue on him. He was surprised and inhaled, but Lila jumped on him and started beating his chest by her little fists.

“I’m as strong as you!” Vili squealed when she took his hair and started to pulling them. You quickly took her off of him, careful not to pull his hair more, but a few of them stayed in your daughter’s grasp.

“You’re getting way too energetic, young lady. What’s all this about?” You sat down and she was sitting in your lap.

“He wanted to take my blanket and I fell down.” She didn’t dared to look up at you.

“It’s because the two men in Dale two weeks ago were doing this?” She mumbled a response and you shook your head.

“Lila, that’s not how you are supposed to solve problems. First, you need to talk about it. Don’t be that-” then a loud thunder and sharp lightning scrossed the sky and Lila squeaked.

“M-momma, I’m so afraid!” She nuzzled to your chest and you wrapped a blanket around the two of you. Vili and Ainiel sat next to you, wrapped in blankets.

“Will you tell us the story, momma?” Ainiel asked you, breaking the silence. A slight smile stretched your lips.

“You already know that one backwards.”

“That’s not true, I cannot say it backwards!” Vili protested and Ainiel shook her head.

“That means we already know it really well, you dumb dwarf.” Lila let out a laugh.

“Will you tell us the part with Master Baggin’s home? The beginning?” Vili made a pleading puppy look, that he surely got from his father, and you sighed.

“Okay.”

“And that one when you confessed your love?” Ainiel asked. You smiled and nodded.

“I will. So, I came here with Balin, and I didn’t wanted to be rude, because, as you know, hobbits are peaceful beings and they don’t like when someone is rude, so I just sat aside. Then, there was another knock on the door, and I told him I will open. I opened the door, and there were two young dwarves, one with blonde hair and blue eyes and the other one with dark hair and brown eyes. Me and the younger one froze in spot and the whole Shire must’ve hear us, because we both screamed: ‘YOU?!’. It was that dwarf I saved from two orcs and kicked his butt before, calling him very...spicy names for doing such a stupid thing.”

“How did you called him?” Vili pleated. You’ve never told them, that first words adressed from you to their father were ‘What were you thinking, you fucking fool?! Two big orcs twice your size?! If I wouldn’t save you, you would be dead by now!’.

It was a few days since you’ve left your home for an adventure, where Gandalf invited you. 

You were thankful to the few of dwarves that lived near the village you’ve lived in, whom teached your father how to fight, which he teached you. You could get a few nice hours of sleep at night, because you didn’t have to worry about not being able to defend yourself.

The next day, around a down, settling down your things to prepare for a camp, a loud scream cutted the silence. You looked up. It sounded as if somebody needed a help.

You quickly and as quietly as you could, runned to that spot. You looked through the bushes and noticed somebody - a male - trying to fight with two orcs double size of him. One of them was holding his leg, the other one his arm and he was trying to fight with them, but you assumed they took his weapons, since he had nothing but a dagger. You quickly let out an arrow, which went straight through orc’s head, and he fell dead. You jumped out of your hiding spot and the other one chuckled darkly in black speech. You growled and jumped aside when he was trying to catch you. He tried to stab you with his sword, but you were way too quick. You jumped up at tree stump and stabbed him by your sword in it’s back. The orc fell dead, down to the ground.

You looked over to that male - a dwarf, you thought, because of his ears and he was as tall as you - and he was staring at you with awe in his eyes. Adrenalin was still in you from the fight in your veins and you got angry.

“What were you thinking, you fucking fool?! Two big orcs twice your size?! If I wouldn’t save you, you would be dead by now!” He snapped from his expression and quickly started gathering his weapons.

“I didn’t needed help, you know?! I could-I would be able to win over them!” You snorted in very un-lady like way while taking out your sword and arrow.

“Of course, but before that, you would be their dinner.” You looked over your shoulder and shook your head. No. He has just stupid brown puppy eyes.

“That’s not true!” He got angry, slightely offended. You smirked.

“All right then. You’d be their midnight snack.” You chuckled when noticed his face to redden and looked away to get to your place where you wanted to camp.

You couldn’t stop thinking about that man since then. And your angry behaviour, which you were quite sorry for.

“That’s not appropiate for your ears, children. So, where did I ended? Oh, I know!” Vili and Ainiel shimmed closer to you.

“Then, the blonde one looked at both of us and asked: ‘Where do you know each other from?’. The brown-haired muttered something under his breath and I sighed. ‘I didn’t wanted to be so rude, you know?’ He looked up at me, eyes wide, mouth slightely open and cheeks red. I got into house and...who do you think was that?” You asked your children and Ainiel, the quick thinker, was first one to answer that.

“Uncle Fili and Adad, mommy!” She grinned and you stroke her hair.

“Excellent. Now-” You inhaled to talk again, but Ainiel interrupted you.

“Now the wedding, mommy! How was the wedding? Was it big? Was it beautiful?” Her face lighted up in happiness, that was her favourite part. Vili just snorted.

“Girls. Why the wedding? It’s so boring!” You chuckled.

“One day you will find your own significant other and you won’t be snorting at the mention of weddings, because you will be the eager one to plan it all out.” Said voice behind you. You and your children turned around and found your soaking-wet, but madly-grinning husband. Vili squealed, excited, and while trying to get to him, be tripped over his own legs and blanket and landed at the floor. Lila’s fluttered open and she yawned as she woke up from her slumber, and once she noticed her father, she squealed in joy and tried to get to him, her arms opened for a hug.

“Adad! You’re home!” He picked Vili up from the floor and with a grin on his face, he picked up Lila too and spun them around. The sight of him with your children, his face lighted up with joy and absolute adoration for them was a thing that made you to appreciate every single moment like that you had.

Kili placed his two children to the ground, and even if all three of them were wet now, they didn’t really cared. You stood up.

“Now, I see, you are ready to change in something dry.” Kili looked over to Vili and Lila.

“Who’s going to be the first one changed, gets the most cookies!” Before you could even blink, Vili and Lila were already rushing to their rooms to change, and Kili went to your bedroom to change, too.

Ainiel turned to you.

“What about the wedding, mommy? How was it?” You sat down to her.

“So, at first, it was before the battle of five armies. Me and your father, your uncle, nobody knew if we will survive, so we decided to do it without unnecessary formalities. We just changed vows, gifts, kissed and braided each other’s hair.” And lost our virginities that night.

“After the battle and when Dale and Erebor was rebuilded, we got married with all of the formalities that are necessary in royal family. It was a big and eventful wedding, very loud, too. Something like celebration on Durin’s Day, but three times louder, with more dancing.” She nodded with a serious expression.

* Extra *

After the dinner (and promised cookies, which got Vili and Lila) and when your children went to sleep, you and Kili stayed together in the living room, cuddled under a blanket.

„How was your day, amralime?“ You asked him while making circles inside his palm. Kili softly kissed the top of your head.

„Uneventful and boring, givanshel. Meeting got longer today, and thanks to the storm, I was even more late than I would be. How was today for you, my precious queen?“ You felt his hand lazily making circles over the fabric on your stomach and smiled.

„Just like any other day, my dear husband. Two out of our three children took their personality after you, making every day an adventure,“ He softly chuckled and kissed your temple from the back.

„It all started with one adventure,“ He said in a low voice. You sighed softly.

„Yes, indeed it did. But I saved your butt before that adventure,“ His fingers started to make way to your hips and sides.

„Of course, my dear wife,“ He started tickling you, and you tried to giggle as quietly as possible to not to wake the children. You turned around, so you now faced Kili and sat on his lap. You kissed his nose, then his lips, and he smiled to the kiss. He pulled you closer.

„Mhmm, amralime,“ He whispered when you pulled away for air. You pushed a few strands of his hair out of his face, looking deep to his loving brown eyes

„You should go to sleep. You are tired,“ You said. He raised a brow.

„I can stay awake as long as you’d like me to.“ His eyes got that mischievous spark you knew way too well.

„I may be in love with you, but you cannot fool me, my precious prince.“ You kissed his cheek softly.

„So you want to say you’d turn down an opportunity for making love on the floor, or just right here, right now?“ You gasped and punched his shoulder softly.

„Kili!“ His sparkling eyes were watching you, while his lips tugged up into a smirk.

„You didn’t minded that when we moved in,“ He winked at you and your cheeks burned red.

„You’re right,“ You muttered and he laughed.

„But I wanted to talk to you about something...something else,“ You nervously rubbed your hands together. He furrowed his brows and cupped your cheek in his palm, making you to look at him.

„What’s wrong, Amralime?“ You felt his body tense. He was fully awake, and you just shook your head with a small smile.

„Nothing is wrong.“

„What is it, then?“ You placed his palm to your stomach. Kili’s eyes widened in realization, experiencing this for the fourth time.

„Are you-are you really-do you mean-?“ You slowly nodded.

„Around a week,“ A grin stretched across his lips and he took you to his arms, kissing your whole face, dancing around your living room.

„We’re going to have another baby, I cannot-oh Mahal, I can’t believe that!“ He kissed your lips with a smile.

„You need to rest, givanshel.“ He started walking towards your bedroom.

„I can walk on my own, Kili.“ You laughed and he kissed your temple as he kicked the door to your bedroom open.

„Well, you need to rest a lot now, so no walking for you, my love.“ He placed you down to your shared bed and you giggled.

„I need to walk at some point. Who will cook?“ Kili kicked off his boots and laid to you, placing you to his chest and resting his palm on your still flat belly. He kissed your temple and blinked, so he wouldn’t start crying out of pure happiness.

„You know how it ended up every time you ever tried to cook,“ You reminded him and he grimaced.

„Oh, c’mon amralime, I’m not that bad at cooking!“

„You cutted yourself while cutting the vegetables and then burned the soup.“

„Oh hush amralime,“ He muttered and you laughed.

„Amad was giving me a cooking lessons,“ He blurted out suddenly. You raised a brow and turned to him.

„When we were over for Durin’s day last year. Well, rather Amad was teaching me, while Lila and Ainiel were watching over the kitchens in general, and Vili, well,“ He looked sleepishly down on you.

„Vili was messing around with Fili,“ You rolled your eyes.

„I’ve noticed them, of course. I’m glad Erebor is still standing,“ You both chuckled and he started rubbing small circles on your belly. You sighed and hugged your husband closer. He kissed your forehead.

„Sleep, Amralime. You need to rest.“

„You too, Amralime. Good night.“

„Good night, my princess.��

[goldenncherrybombb]

Falling

This is gonna be a double update!! TBSL should be posted soon so keep any eye out ;) This chapter is different kinda. But you’ll see what I mean maybe. Anyways, you get to know more about y/n in this because I wanted to add more about her so sorry if it doesn’t fit you at times. Anywayssss, enjoy :)

need to catch up?

masterlist

WARNINGS: none ;)

Word count: 3k

this isn’t edited so if there is any mistakes, my bad

The one where Harry is falling again 

The London air whips around Harry harshly, the cold bitter wind nipping at his skin. He picks up his pace when rain starts to fall, getting into his mum’s house just in time.

 “Harry!” She cheers, coming out from the kitchen with a cuppa in her hand. She sets it down on the coffee table before hugging him. As soon as her scent engulfs him Harry feels his eyes tear up. He sniffles and his mum hugs him tighter, not saying anything and letting him get it out first.

 “Who am I, mum? I feel so lost, an’ empty an’ I don’t want to feel that way. I just-I just don’t know wha’ t’do anymo’.” Her hand rubs up and down his back and she coos at him. 

“‘S alright, love. Sometimes you gotta get worse before you get better. ‘S just a hurdle you can get over. Ya are my baby boy. Yeh can do anything you put yeh mind too. Look at what yeh’ve accomplished. I know it sucks now, but trust me H, she isn’t doing much better either. You just needed a break. That’s all this is.” He listens to his mum and takes in her advice.“I know this feeling won’t last forever, but it hurts.” He whispers and Anne puts her hands on his cheek to make him look at her. “I know it hurts love, but pain is temporary.” She smiles at him and he cracks a smile at the saying. She always told him and Gemma that. “Now, I just made some biscuits so let’s go stuff our faces.” He chuckles at her and follows her into the kitchen.

 They have tea as well and he catches her up on everything that’s been going on. She listens and gives motherly advice here and there. “How do you know she isn’t doing that well?” Harry questions, not being able to forget what she said earlier. 

“She’s called me a few times, asking if I’ve heard anything about you, how your doing, and asking for some advice. It wasn’t easy for her to make that decision, H. She still loves you, and I know it’s hard to hear right now and maybe hard to believe. But it’s the truth. And I know you still love her. Just give it time, love. I know she is end game for you.” He cracks a smile at her words and nods. 

This is exactly why he came to London before he went to Japan. His mum always makes him feel better. When he comes back home it’s like all worries are washed away from him. 

Gemma joined them for dinner. Her and Harry joked around with each other as they helped Anne make dinner. After dinner they played a few rounds of scrabble before Harry went back to his house, tired from his long flight.

 He hadn’t been back to his London house in almost six months. It felt weird walking in and seeing all the photos of him and y/n, but he did his best to ignore them, not having the heart to take them down. It felt wrong.

 He took a shower and got ready for bed, finding a bag full of y/n’s stuff in the closet that he shoved in the back. But as he was trying to sleep he couldn’t stay still and kept tossing and turning. He had a melody in his hand and he couldn’t rest till he figured out what it was. So he got up and walked downstairs to his grand piano. He sat down then pulled his phone out and went to voice memos before he started trying different keys. Once he found the one’s he was looking for he tried new things and added on to it. Lyrics starting popping up in his head and he started to sing softly, stopping sometimes and trying new keys or a different lyric. His journal was open so he started to write what he doing down before playing again. 

I’m in my bed

And your not here

And there’s no one to blame but the drinks and my wondering hands 

Forget what I said

It’s not what I meant

 And I can’t take it back-

“Fuck. Now ‘m stuck.” He train of thought disappeared and he started to look around. 

His eyes were glued to a certain photo of his ex-lover smiling widely with  flowers in her hair as she puts some in Harry’s and he looks up at her curiously. It was one of his favorites from the Jamaica trip for his first album. It was before they got together but to everyone besides them it was so obvious they liked each other and Mitch always made sure to let Harry know.

***

She swims up next to Harry who is swimming in his underwear and has his arms on his surfboard. He smiles widely at something Mitch is saying, laying a kiss on her temple before laughing at him. Mitches words replay in Harry’s head.

“You guys just need to get together already. It’s obvious how much you guys like each other, H.” And all Harry did was bashfully smile and tell him she doesn’t feel the same as he watches her swim around them, her snorkeling goggles on.

It goes quiet and the only thing heard is the waves crashing on shore and the birds above. She climbs onto Harry’s board with his help and lays back, stretching her arms above her head. 

“It’s pretty here innit?” He questions, turning his head to look at her and watch as she looks around with curious eyes.

 “It’s beautiful. Feel like I could stay here forever.” She replies with a dreamy sigh. Mitch and Harry chuckle and Mitch agrees. 

When they get back to shore and have showered and redressed they all meet in the back patio. Harry and Mitch have a guitar, Jeff is on his laptop next to Mitch, and the rest or Harry’s crew sit around on the patio furniture. Harry is sitting under a Ixora Ixora Coccinea. A tree that has beautiful red/orange flowers. 

When the wind blows the flowers fall and y/n has been sticking them in her braid she has. Then when she was happy with her hair she started putting them in Harry’s. Hélène laughed when she noticed and snuck a photo.

 A wide smile is on her face as she is happy with her work so far, and Harry is looking up at her curiously and lovingly. Both of their eyes shine and the colors of y/n’s dress stick out with the colorful tree in the background. 

The sessions finishes before dinner time, everyone content with their progress. Y/n helped and gave her pointers, Mitch showing Harry new ideas he came up with, and Harry giving his input and showing everyone what he has so far.

 After dinner Harry and y/n went to Harry’s room to watch a rom-com. Harry had a matching red button up and shorts on, and y/n couldn’t wait to steal the shirt one day. When they shut the lamps off Harry pulled y/n into his front so he could spoon her.  He pressed a soothing kiss to her head and her eyes fluttered shut. 

“Goodnight.” They both whispered at the same time making them laugh lightly. Their legs were tangled together and his arm was firmly wrapped around her as they slept, a content smile on his face. 

***

I can’t run pack the bag that you left 

The conversation he had with his mom earlier in the night replays in his head as he thinks of new lyrics. 

What am I now

What am I now

What if I’m I don’t want around

What if I’m down 

What if I’m out 

What if I’m someone you won’t talk about

His eyes travel back to the picture as the words flow out of his mouth easily.

I’m falling again

 I’m falling again

 I’m falling 

When he finishes and is happy abotut his prgress he sends the file to Mitch and Harpoon, wanting to know what they think. He fills a glass of water and replies to some emails before heading back up the stairs and going to bed.

The next morning when he wakes up and looks at his phone seeing he sees he has a text from Gemma asking him to go out to breakfast with her. He replies and gets up to get ready for the day. 

He meets Gemma at a newer restaurant with modern decor. Gemma is at a booth in the back scrolling on her phone when he sees her. She looks up and smiles at him, waving him over. 

Once Harry sits she puts her phone down reaches over to mess up his hair, knowing it would make him mad. “Gem, stop it.” He chuckles, fixing his hair as she laughed lightly.

 “Sooo, we didn’t get to catch up much yesterday. What have yeh been up too?” She questions, sipping on her water.

 “The usual, writing, and recording, then more writing, and maybe an event here and there.” He shrugs and grabs the black coffee she got him. 

“How about you, how have you and Michael been?” She perks up at the mention of Michael, her boyfriend of a few years. 

“Good. Really good actually. He accompanied me to an event a few days ago actually, it was really fun, and also insightful.” The waitress sets their food down in front for them, pancakes for Harry and french toast for Gemma. “Knew yeh would want some pancakes .” 

“‘S my favorite breakfast food as you know. You and I used to make a mess trying to make pancakes cuz we ended up throwing the batter at each other.”  They both laugh at the memory. 

“Mum was so mad at us.” Harry nods in his head in agreement as she reminsces on another memory.

“The rest of the breakfast they catch up more and enjoy their food. “I heard about what happened, h.” She talks quietly, and with a small frown on her face. “‘M sorry that happened, thought she was the one for ya.” Harry wipes his mouth with his napkin and clears his throat at the painful reminder because he thought she was too. “Probably shouldn’t of said that.” She mumbles to herself, the mask Harry’s putting on not fooling her. 

“How about I pay for this and then we go shopping?” Harry shakes his head at her. 

“Yer not paying, I am.” She shakes her head and they both go for the checkbook at the same time, Gemma winning. “Gem, I can pay for it myself, ‘s no big deal.” Gemma pays no mind to him as she counts her money out. 

“‘S like you said, no big deal.” She smiles at him and sets the check down. “Now let’s go shopping.” She cheers, sliding out of the booth.

***

 Back in the states Y/N went back to her hometown and is staying there for a few days before she has to go to New York and do interviews. She missed her parents and needed the comfort and distraction they give her. 

When she arrived home her mom opened the door with open arms, seeing how tired and sound her daughter looked. She pulled her into her arms and hugged her tightly as she sniffled into her shoulder.

“Oh honey,” Her mom, Angela, cooes, rocking her back and forth slowly to calm her down. Her dad, Ben, comes to the front door thinking his wife was calling for him but when he sees y/n he joins the hug.

 “It’ll be ok baby bop. It takes time, and in the mean your mom made our favorite cookies and I got some Malibu and pineapple juice calling our name.” Y/n chuckles at her dad while wiping her tears.

Her dad carries her luggage into the house as her mom pulls her to the kitchen. When her dad joins he starts making their drinks and y/n munches on a cookie.

 “Benjamin! That’s a lot of Malibu.” Her mom laughs and shakes her head. “‘S like he’s trying to give us alcohol poisoning!” Y/n laughs and shakes her head. 

Her mom and dad were the main reason she is a hopeless romantic. After thirty two years together there is still so much love. If you were to meet them for the first time you would think they had just got married with how much love the show and how they are constantly joking around and messing with each other. Her mom was the one who got her into music. There was always music playing when she was growing up, her mom always singing around the house off key as Ben looked at her like she was the biggest pop star and had the loveliest voice. So when y/n started to sing and didn’t get her mom genes with the singing abilities they were all blown away because neither of her parents could sing.

They were all sat in the living room watching old home videos. Their cups in hand as they laugh at the videos and share stories. The video playing was one of y/n when she was around two. She had only a diaper on and some boots, she was playing the piano and singing to her mom. Obviously it wasn’t good and she laughs at her horrible rendition of ‘Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds” by The Beatles. Her mom laughs when she sings “wucy” instead of “Lucy.” 

The next video is one of her around eight years old. She got her second guitar and wrote a song for her parents. She was in their living room singing shyly for them and at the end her mom claps loudly, saying “My babies gonna be a rock star someday.’ As she cheers for her.

“Who would've guessed that would come true?”  Her dad questions, his eyes glossy. She looks at her mom and sees tears trailing down her cheek.

“No don’t cry!” Y/n says, getting up to squish in between them.“Their happy tears, baby bop.” Her mom says, messing her hair up making her laugh. “We’re just so proud of you. You worked so hard and now look at you! Touring all over the world and you have two number ones with only one album out!”

 “It is crazy. But you both know I wouldn’t be here without my fans and I want to thank you guys for being my first and helping me get to where I am today.” She smiles at her parents and her mom yells ‘group hug’ making y/n laugh as her parents crush her into a hug.She wakes up at around three am in need of a drink. 

When she walks into the kitchen she sees her dad and she accidentally scares him. He drops the doughnuts he was eating on the floor, thankfully none of them fall out of the box.

“Jesus you scared me!” He tells her and she apologizes before opening the fridge. “What’s on your mind, y/n?” He questions, not missing his daughters sadness in her eyes.

“Just miss him is all.” She replies, laying her head on her dad's shoulder. “I just feel terrible because I left him and I still love him so I feel guilty because I want to be with him more than anything right now but how can you love someone that doesn’t love them self? But I feel guilty because what if I finally tell him how I feel and he doesn’t feel the same anymore or he hates me now? I just lost a best friend and the person I thought was my forever.” Her dad takes a minute to reply, letting her words sink in and thinking of the best advice he could give her.

“Love takes time, y/n. You think me and your mom never had our rough patches? We took a break once too, for a similar reason. We both needed to work on ourselves before we could be together, we wanted to be the best person we could be for each other because we know both of us don't deserve any less. He still loves you y/n, trust me. I know you guys aren’t talking but you know how much your mom adores him so when he called her she talked to him for hours about you. That was only a few days ago actually.” She smiles because she did the same thing with Anne. Since her and Harry were friends for so long both of our families are close and he is as close to my parents as I am his, especially Anne.

“I don’t even know where he is right now. I know he left Malibu but he never told me where he was going. I just miss how it was. Wish I could go back and relive it. Or I at least wish I could tell him how I feel.” 

“You gotta shoot your shot before you miss it, kid.” She huffs and sets her mug in the sink next to his

.“If it was only that easy.” She whispers before saying goodnight to her dad.

She thinks it’s safe to say she’s fallen again

[lovecomedy]

Fanfic recommendations nobody asked for

Those are my favorite wincest fic ever, just because. They are all complete. I’ll add the summaries together with my own two cents.

Consider the Hairpin Turn by cherie_morte. 27K Words

AU of 6x22: Sam's wall has shattered and the memories in his mind have splintered. When the Sam who remembers Hell tells him to go find Jess and be happy, Sam knows he can't stay while Dean needs him. But when the Sam from Hell says that Dean is already there looking for him, Sam leaves his memories of the pit behind to find him.

What he finds is a life he doesn't remember: a house that he shares with his brother (and has for years), a law career he thought he'd left behind at Stanford, and a relationship with Dean he never dreamed he could have. Life is almost too good to be true, at least until Sam begins to hear his brother's voice calling to him, begging him to wake up.

This is my favorite fic of all times. It’s beautifuly written. The way that it narrates Sam’s trauma of Hell is what keeps me coming back for more . Honestly it should be published as a book. Don’t worry, it has very happy scenes and there’s a happy ending

Welcome to the Neighborhood by ImogenPortchester. 2K Words

Dean thinks the new neighbors are interesting, but all is not what it seems.

Super short. Super heartbreaking.

Fics by leonidaslion

I mean first off, just read everything written by leonidaslion

Sing Your Hymns Like Angels In Defeat. 32K Words. 

And Lucifer Fell for a second time with the burning brilliance of a star. The Flare shone in his wake, and darkness fell upon the land ...

Dean goes blind, and I love how it describes Dean’s stuggles with it. You feel like you’re blind with him. Really, really, REALLY well written. Should probably also be a book

Fumbling in the Dark: Love Advice For the Romantically Impaired. 72K

True Love really is blind...

It’s basically a character study of every single episode of the first 5 seasons, with a wincest twist. Slow burn. Holy shit, is it a slow burn. 

Just Say My Name. 3K Words

Dean turns into a complete and utter nympho. It takes Sam a while to notice the difference.

Funny, lighthearted and porny

Hush. 2K Words

Motel walls are thin...

Discovery!kink. Sam and Dean try to have quiet sex while John is in the other room. At least, Dean is trying

Sam Winchester and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. 15K Words

Sometimes, you just shouldn't get out of bed in the morning ...

Fics by fleshflutter

Dark Side of the Moon. 20K Words

Cursed!Dean is deaf and blind. Sam deals.

The incestuous courtship of the antichrist's bride. 48K Words

Sam is trying to become the Antichrist in order to save the world. He has a small army of angels and demons, he has an adoring cult, he has a work of prophecy by Jack Kerouac, and he has Dean. Things are going pretty well until he accidentally signs Dean up as his Beloved Consort, a role that requires sex with the Antichrist on an altar. And that's when things stop going pretty well. Also, the soundtrack to the Apocalypse sucks.

I don’t like crack fics, but goddamn this one is FUNNY. You can tell a lot of thought was put into this freaking masterpiece

Captured by the Game by rivkat. 54K Words

AU. Azazel has given his favorite son a task: worm his way into the confidence of a hunter. It sounds simple, but Dean Winchester just might be more than Sam can handle.

It wasn’t real by NaughtyPastryChef. 1K Words

Sam is trying to explain to Dean where he was when Dean was stuck in purgatory. It starts with "I hit a dog" and then, suddenly, inexplicably, they both know exactly where Sam was.

Wonderful explanation for that arc in season 8 nobody can stand. Plus, time travel, which I’m always a sucker for

Backseat of My Brother's 67 Chevy by NaughtyPastryChef. 1K Words

Extended scene from "Baby". Dean's feeling proud of Sam's hookup until he hears that Sam tried to give that waitress his number. Uncharacteristically, he lets Sam force him to talk about it. 

Bury My Old Soul, and Dance on its Grave by  dreamlittleyo. 2K Words

Dean knows how far he can push Sam.

Antichrist!Sam and Consort!Dean. Codependent winchesters. Yeah

Graveside Blues by hunenka. 3K Words

He uses his body like a blanket, like a shield.

I like how protective Sam is of Dean here, and it deals with something I don’t see a lot such as the jealousy he would have of Dean’s bond with Amara

own it by orphan_account. 6K Words

But he's never going to be able to burn the image of Sam cradling one hand around the perfect curve of Dean's face, dropping the other to the cut of Dean's hip (made for fingers and tongues to trail down, to taste), walking Dean backward until Dean is flush against the wall and Sam is flush against him. This is something that can't be denied.

John finds out. Explores the wonderful trope of both Sam and his father being possessive of Dean, and being very antagonistical to each other. Dysfunctional family yay. Also very porny

Fics by astolat

Punxsutawney. 9K Words

* astolat thinks any plot worth doing is worth doing TWICE

This is the Mistery Spot plot, but a little different. Sam AND Dean wake up to the same day over and over again. So they talk.

Kings and Queens and Jokers, Too. 4K Words

"Yeah, you boys nailed that trickster real good," Bobby said, dry as dust.

People are acting weird around the brothers. Can’t really say anything else without spoiling it. Listen just do yourself a favor and read it. 

options. 500 Words

Decisions, decisions. 

Short and funny. Little bit porny

Desired. 2K Words

He hadn't even known about any of this himself until Sam found it, figured it out for him. He hadn't known how it was going to be.

So, smut. They have a better time when Dean is the one who asks for it

Rockabye Sammy... by  AnotherWorld3111. 1K Words

Sam can’t sleep, so Dean tries to help.

Sam keeps hallucinating Lucifer. Dean is worried and protective of him. Porny

We Know Each Other As We Always Were by mickeym. 45K Words

In 1941, while the world is at war, Sam Winchester falls in love with his brother. They're young, they're in love, and in spite of the hardships of life around them, the world is a pretty good one for them. Until Dec. 7th, 1941, when Japan launches an air attack on Pearl Harbor, sending the US to war against Japan. Dean Winchester feels he needs to join the Army; needs to help fight the good fight and help save lives. He promises he'll return, but can he keep that promise?

GAH this is so romantic! It’s an AU, but I feel like they’re very in character. It feels like a novel

For The End of My Broken Heart by Wickedtruth. 59K Words

Dad's disappeared and Sam's left to pick up the pieces of his broken brother. Post Devil's Trap AU.

Very codependent Winchesters. Also John finds out. 

here at the end of all things by  remy (iamremy). 40K Words

AU from Season 12 onwards. The British Men of Letters win in the USA, and slowly manage to establish their bases and authority over the whole country. They also capture Sam Winchester and keep him prisoner for eleven months, experimenting on him regularly before wiping his memories so that he has no idea what has been done to him.

Even after Dean rescues him and they begin planning to get revenge once and for all, the niggling doubt at the back of Sam's head remains -- what did they do to him? Why won't his anxiety get better? And what is it that he's missing?

Ok you got me, this is gen. But the whole fic feels like a (good) Supernatural episode, it’s so realistic and canon-like. The relationship between the brothers is just like the one we see on the show, meaning desperately codependent and wincest in every subtext.

Fics by deadlybride / zmediaoutlet

What I like about @zmediaoutlet is that she takes the time to write everyone in character. It’s always as canonical as possible and it feels real

femme. 4K Words

Rummaging around the internet, Dean finds a kink he hadn't seen before; Sam explains, and demonstrates.

I love feminization, but unfourtunately there’s only one fic that does it right, and it’s this one

gratification. 2K Words

It's not a compulsion. Dean just likes it.

breña. 1K Words

Sam and Dean wait, knowing what's coming.

The night before Sam jumps in the box

not the good things, nor the bad. 20K

Dean wavers in a grey area between being taken and giving in.

Part of it started with the kinks series, but you can read this just fine without the other parts. It deals very beautifully with Dean’s thoughts regarding his bond with Amara and his sexuality

DeMille Has Nothing On Us by  HandsAcrossTheSea. 13K Words

"Hey Dean - wanna film it?"

This is part of the Those Hazy Days I Do Remember series, but you can 100% read it as a stand-alone, no problem. Sam and Dean film each other and this has that season 1 vibe, of just two brothers on the road. It’s slightly OOC, just because of how touchy-feely they are. But that’s something I sometimes wish we could have on the show, anyway

How many floors to realize by Lazy Daze. 26K Words

AU from the end of It’s A Terrible Life, in which Zachariah decides to keep stringing them along a little while longer, because damn if they aren’t somewhat entertaining, right?”

Rabid by i-am-therefore-i-fight 

Beautiful!! I love @i-am-therefore-i-fight‘s take on demon!dean. It’s different to what we’re used to. This fic is very angsty but has a happy ending

Bitten by a True Believer by kermiethefrog. 3K Words

“C’mon, Sammy,” Dean says. Flashes him a wicked grin, charcoal-eyes. The way he spreads out on Sam’s mattress, bare and offering himself up like Holy fucking Communion, drums heat under Sam’s skin, and he’s never sure if it’s arousal or anger when he’s faced with the demon. “Show me a good time, big guy.”

Another demon!dean fic. I like how even as he is a demon, he is still desperate for Sam’s attention

The Time Traveler's Brother by  AmyPond45. 54K Words

Dean's life is turned upside down the night his mother dies. But that's also the night a mysterious grown-up version of Dean's brother first appears in his life. While Dean grows up, "Old Sam" is often there, especially when Dean's father isn't. As Dean learns what the future holds, he begins to question everything his father has taught him about who he is and what he is supposed to become. Can Dean find a way to save his little brother from his own future?

This is based on The Time Traveler’s Wife, which is my favorite book. Don’t worry, you don’t have to have read it to understand this fic

need against need against need by dollylux. 5K Words

Jack spends his first night in the bunker with Sam and Dean. (Jack POV)

Don’t worry, Jack just watches and ponders about the Winchester’ realationship

the centre cannot hold by orphan_account. 6K Words

Sam does not remember; Dean does. All Dean can do is watch, and mourn.

But then Castiel becomes God, and the world starts to break at the edges (and maybe that isn't a bad thing.)

It kinda becomes a character study, while the brothers deal with what happened during the Soulless!Sam period

The Last Temptation by bccalling. 1K Words

When Sam tells Mary about all the things he and Dean get up to in the dark, Mary wants in, and Sam sees his opportunity to make Dean’s every fantasy come true.

Mary shows up. Porny and very sweet

Angels and Demons by  OhWilloTheWisp. 9K Words

AU angels and demons are animals. Sam was not happy when his owner, Ruby, left him boarded at a kennel. He was even less happy when he discovered an angel in the same facility. But his encounter with the angel will end much differently than anyone would have guessed. He may have never expected his mate to be angel, but now that's found him he won't let anyone keep them apart.

Sam and Dean are kinda like animals here but there’s nothing sexual. It’s very sweet and romantic. Anna/Ruby in here as well

[fleetofshippyships-archive]

Fanfic Author Meme

Tagged by @diligent-thunder and @rockmarina​ =)

Okay, so I’m me, and I talked way too much, so I’m putting this under a cut to save your dashes. You’re welcome 😘

Please do not reblog this post.

Author Name: 

Fleetofshippyships + Knowyourincantations + Legendaryroar

Fandoms You Write For: 

(in order of decreasing # of fics) Harry Potter, Voltron, Merlin, Yuri on Ice, Star Trek, Star Wars and then a few one-offs that aren’t really worth mentioning.

Where You Post: 

AO3 primarily, Tumblr, trying to post more on Pillowfort, I also post on a couple of sites for knowyourincantations

Most Popular One-Shot: 

Fleetofshippyships: Potter’s Insatiable Cock (Drarry, Explicit (duh XD), 20k (viewable only for logged-in AO3 users)).

Knowyourincantations: A Decent Start to Things (Pansmione, Teen, 7k)

Legendaryroar: Finding Time for Rest (Sheith (Voltron), Teen, 3k)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: 

RestraintNone of my old multi-chapter fics are available to read at this time and I don’t really write multi-chapter fics anymore.

If oneshot/drabble collections or two-shots count, then:

Fleetofshippyships: Vanilla and Sweet Spices (Drarry, Explicit, 2 chapters, 20k)

and this really doesn’t count, but technically it has multiple ‘chapters’ soooooooooo

Legendaryroar: Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships (Voltron), Explicit (duh), 31 ‘chapters’, 26k)

Favourite Story You Wrote: 

I don’t think I ever have a static favourite, I’ve just written too many things, I too quickly move on to the next (and frequently forget some of my own fics exist XD), but recently I re-read In Pursuit of Red Wine (Dreville, Teen, 29k) and really enjoyed that again, and I am really attached to it cos it was my first longish rarepair fic, kind of proving to myself that I can write longer rarepair stuff. 

I also recently re-read Unburdened (Merthur (BBC Merlin), Explicit, 2k) and really enjoyed that too, had a total disconnect from having written it since it’s been so long, so I was able to read it without self-judging, and oh boy that was nice. 

I’m also quite proud of Healing What’s Left (Parkgrass, Teen, 2k) for some reason, I dunno, maybe the dark political backdrop of the fic, or maybe just cos it’s the first time I’ve written Daphne as the main character and I’m happy with the result and now have some headcanons about her rather than her being an unknown blank character to me. 

I also binge read a lot of my Voltron stuff recently and had big feels over that so....I also specifically enjoyed re-reading The Perks of Skincare (Klance (Voltron), Explicit, 3k) again cos I dunno, I like how I wrote Lance XD and also the Sheith fic I linked earlier is a fav for sure. Shiro/Rest is the ultimate OTP.

It really depends how soon after I write something or when I go back to re-read it as to what my fav is at any given time (or people commenting on it and hyping me up for it again).

Story You Were Nervous to Post: 

Everything. But most recently I was terrified out of my mind before posting: 

Friday Night by the Fire (Harry/Neville, Teen, 583 words) because I have a lot of fears about screwing up trying to write ace characters and somehow not even making that a focal point of the drabble made it even more terrifying,  No More Waiting (TianShan (19 Days), Teen, 2k) because it was a new fandom to write in, Harry Potter and the Maudlin Merman series (Drarry, Teen+ Mature, 3k +6k) due to my feelings of inadequacy because it would be better as long fic but I struggle too much with writing these days to write long fics and can only manage short things. I’d rather write this as a long fic, but then I’d never finish it so connected oneshots are the best I can do right now, but I still feel it’s not good enough and have a meltdown whenever I post one. And speaking of which, I’ve been sitting on the next one for months and should probably just fucking post it already.

Actually, most recently: Minding One’s Limits (Cho/Ginny, G rated, 1.5k), because I gave Cho a disability modeled off my fibromyalgia and wrote a scenario similar to something I’d dealt with myself, it was incredibly uncomfortable to write in the first place, and then terrifying to post, even though it’s so short. But in the end I’m proud I finally wrote about it a bit? I dunno, might take me a while to work up the nerve again though XD (also was my first time writing that ship, so there was a lot of nervousness over that too)

Oh, and I was a super ball of anxiety posting  Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships, Explicit, 31 ‘chapters’, 26k) because for almost all of those it was the first time I was writing those kinks (and some were kind of squicks for me but I wanted to see if I could write them anyway cos I’m dumb like that) and in a lot of cases those ships were completely new for me to write too, in addition to trying to write and post 1 a day, so...yeah. Also that was my first time writing tentacle and human/werewolf smut so...yeah. I was an absolute mess that month and not in a fun way. But I’m still really glad I did it, it was fun =D

In summary, I’m always an anxious mess posting anything, but most especially if it’s something I’ve not written before or is personal to me XD

How Do You Choose Your Titles: 

Most of the time I’m staring down the empty title field in AO3 cursing like a fucking sailor when I choose titles XD Sometimes it’s a line/theme/feeling from the fic. Sometimes it’s totally random and just comes to me. Sometimes I just grasp the first thing that I can no matter how stupid it sounds cos it’s been three days and I still don’t have a title and I’m over it and ready to post before I lose my nerve.

And tbh, it’s only getting harder to think of titles as my number of fics increases, and I’ve now started thinking of the perfect titles only to realise I already have a published fic by that title so....TITLES CAN DIE A FIERY DEATH

Sometimes, not so much anymore, it would turn out that I would give a wip doc a name just so I’d know what it was, sometimes as a joke with whoever was reading it and cheerleading while I wrote it, and then I would refer to it by that and think of it as that so much that when it came time to actually give the fic a title, it was too late and I could not think past that stupid file name, and that’s how Potter’s Insatiable Cock happened, and how I very nearly called a Merthur fic Arthur’s Wanking Tower (saved that one at the last moment thank god cos the tone of that fic is actually really serious and emotional and wtf was I even thinking with that file name and actually I linked to that fic above XD it ended up being called Unburdened). 

Potter’s Insatiable Cock slipped through cos it’s actually relevant to the fic content and I could live with it.

But needless to say, I don’t give my wip docs joke names anymore XD

Do You Outline: 

Only if I never want to actually write the idea...once I outline, it’s over. I can’t write to a detailed plan. It stifles me. I’ll always get stuck having to try and think ahead to the plan, and then I lose the flow and nothing works because I’m a pantser/intuitive/instinctive writer not a planner. Sometimes I jot down ideas but in like, the vaguest of ways, usually more focused on emotional development than actual scenes or events or anything because then I won’t be able to write it (and I rarely stick to those vague ideas anyway). 

I can really only write when I’m staring down a blank doc with no idea where it’s going and discover it as I go (which is why writing is so fun for me). I can only finish a fic if I don’t think too hard about what’s going to happen next and just let it happen as I write. 

This of course means that editing is a fucking bitch when I finish anything, beginnings often get totally re-written, but if I plan, it just doesn't happen at all, so I’ll take the extra editing if it means I manage to write something.

I do have a lot of detailed plotty fic idea outlines...and I mourn them cos I’m never going to write them now, but they’re so goooooooooood XD

Complete: 

Online (across all 3 accounts): 381 (incl. my hidden drarry fics as they are technically online just hidden, not incl. individual oneshots/drabbles in collection ‘fics’, of which there are ridiculously many). Offline: 20 (I have the worst habit of just sitting on completed fics and I really need to stop)

In-Progress: 

Too many to name, last time I counted it was ~60 but that wasn’t even including my vld wips so...I don’t actually know. I hoard wips and just switch up what I work on all the time depending on mood/interest levels/effort required. 

Current main focuses are a 50k+ plotty Drarry (*fingerscrossed* cos this is my first time seriously attempting something long (will probably reach 80k at least) in a very long time and I put it down for a few months and thought that was it but then I picked it up again recently, yay!), and re-writing some hidden fics I can’t put them back up in the quality they’re in, I just can’t guys, they’re awful.

I’ve been thinking a lot about working on the longish 8th year Pansmione fic I started for the wlw big bang before I had to pull out of cos stupid life stuff. I might pick that up again for a bit too, couldn’t be more different from the Drarry one so it’d make a nice focus break =)

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: 

I don’t even plan fics I’m writing, I sure don’t plan ahead to stuff I haven’t even started XD The only think I can think of for this category would be me re-writing my hidden long Drarry fics.

Oh, and there will be a Merthur oneshot coming (hopefully) soon, because @april-thelightfury115​ won my custom fic giveaway with a merthur idea. Just waiting for my brain to cooperate so I can start that and not suck XD but I’m so fucking excited to write some Merthur again, you have no idea.

Oh, and lots more Sapphic September drabbles coming too, I’m way behind and only just posted day 11 cos this month is literal hell for me, but I am still planning on finishing the prompt list, no matter how long it takes, but no plan for those, not even which ships, I just sit down with the next prompt and a blank doc and see what happens.

Do You Accept Prompts: 

Yes, I love writing to prompts, I’m take them via google form here, but I’m in such a bad space with my health I’ve been really struggling with writing lately, managed to do a bit of editing (fuck knows how), but writing new stuff is so hard, so there’s a long wait while I wait for my fibro fog to ease off to the point I can write new stuff with more regularity (and less stupid errors I have to edit out later).

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: 

Again, I so don’t plan. But I really want to be making more progress on the long plotty drarry wip I’m trying to write. I’m still not sure I’ll have the guts to post it even if I do finish it, given its subject matter (it would make a great careers or consent fest fic tbh), but damn I’m really excited by it. Not sure I can maintain it being plotty and not revert to focusing on the relationship (which is easier for me), but I can only try and see what happens. (trying to write a non-relationship plot without planning is a nightmare but I don’t have a choice if I want to write it at all XD)

I’m also now excited for my longish pansmione wip too actually, just because it’s already longer than my Dreville long-ish fic and it’s exciting and scary to do longer rarepair stuff. I’m way out of my comfort zone with the fic itself, but I dunno, I re-read some recently and fell in love with it all over again, like, flustered lesbian-awakening, disaster for Pansy (but sure she still hates her) Hermione? YES PLEASE! and also, I am guilty of not writing female characters as much as I should because, well, canonically, they don’t have much depth and I’m very meh about them, but in this there’s a huge focus on them because they’re all determined to band together for 8th year and Hermione is making friends with them (Parvati is like, dragging her along all the time XD) where she once dismissed them so it’s scary but exciting =D I’m getting more practice with all the sapphic I do over on knowyourincantations, so I feel more confident working on this wip now =D

I’m also kind of excited about re-writing my old long fics, because they’re all 3 years old now, and my writing tastes (and skill, yikes) have totally changed, so it’s like I’m writing the story again but how I would write it now while maintaining the overall same plot, so it’s really interesting, like discovering the story all over again. Like in one (Making Malfoy Blush) I’ve gone as far as introducing a new side character to replace another’s parts because I no longer feel those parts are in character for them. It’s super terrifying, but it’s fun at the same time =) it’ll take me forever to do these though, so I dunno about ‘upcoming’ really, I only chip away every now and then when I’m unable to write new stuff but am still coherent enough to do something.

Eh, it is what it is, I can’t write like I used to, hence me being inactive more than active these days, but I’m trying to work within my new limitations instead of getting frustrated with them and just giving up entirely =)

---

Now, who to tag....I think anyone I would tag has already done it, and if not..I blame the fog if I’m forgetting someone obvious, if you wanna do it just say I tagged you so I can be nosy and take a look =)

Again, please do not reblog this post

[mermaidsonships]

Best Friends and Barely There Clothing

Helloooo lovies! So this is my first imagine on this blog, and I do hope you enjoy it! I will be posting lots of imagines and blurbs etc. regarding Harry, and most will contain smut! But I will of course have writings that are just pure fluff as well! Enjoy this one!

Warnings: Smut & Language

Word Count: 3k

"Don' tell me you haven't thought about it."

"Having a baby with you?" You asked breathlessly, your eyes falling closed as Harry began to move your hips over his bulge, causing you to let out a quiet whimper as the fabric of his jeans rubbed through the thin lace material covering your clit.

"No love," he let out a throaty laugh, his eyes moving down to where you two were currently grinding against one another, "Don' know why I was thinkin' of havin' a baby, really... was mainly just thinking about sinking my cock inside of ya, pet."

Your eyes snapped open as the words left his mouth as you pressed your clit down against him to gain even more friction as his words literally caused you to throb at the thought, "Harry..." you whimpered quietly, your fingers now gripping onto his tshirt tightly.

"Do you wan' tha'?" His accent was thicker than you had ever heard before as you stared into his darkening eyes, and all you could do was nod your head and let out a breathy sigh of agreement along with it. Somewhere among your exchange of words, Harry's hand had slipped into your panties and his finger was slowly moving around your clit, but not quite applying the pressure you were currently craving; he was going to make you beg for it.

OR the one where Harry really can’t stop thinking about the act of making babies with his best friend, and he’s tired of her slinking around his house wearing barely anything.

"Would ya ever have a baby with me?" The words slipped past his lips casually, his eyes trained on you as he brought the wine glass that was in his hands to a rest on the coffee table in front of you two.

"Excuse me?" You all but choked as the words registered, the wine that was gracefully slipping down your throat coming to an abrupt stop and getting stuck in your vocal pipes, causing you to cough for a few seconds as you worked it out. Your sea green eyes flicked up to his emerald ones, squinting as he watched you with amusement, a small smirk playing on his lips as he captured his bottom one between his thumb and forefinger.

Harry was your best friend. Harry had been your best friend for almost 6 years now, and you had been by his side almost every step of his career, cheering him on and encouraging him to take leaps he was too afraid of. But you were only best friends... why would a baby together ever cross his mind? You two may have shared one or two (or ten or twenty) drunken kisses on nights when you stumbled into one another's flat, coats being haphazardly thrown to the floor and lips meeting in a sloppy goodnight as you both fell onto whomevers bed you had chosen for the night before passing out, but that was it.

"What? Not weird to think about having a baby with ya best friend, is it?" His smirk was only getting wider as you let out an exasperated breath, your eyes narrowing to slits as you decided to place your wine glass on the table next to his.

"S'just...." he continued, refusing to break eye contact, "What if m'not married by the time I'm 30. Ya know more than anyone I wanna have kids... so if m'not married and you're not... would ya have a baby with me?"

"You'll be married," you replied instantly, finally moving your eyes away from him. There was no doubt in your mind that the boy sitting in front of you would most definitely be married by the time he was 30, and you had to look away to stop the unnerving feeling of dread from settling in your stomach as you realized it wouldn't be you. Yes, you and Harry were best friends, but being just friends with someone like Harry wasn't as easy as some would think. Not when Harry was obsessed with affection, especially when it came to you, and you weren't one to shy away from it. It had been a problem in past relationships, for both of you, how close and comfortable you were with each other. You didn't think twice about cuddling into one another on the couch, your fingers intertwined and his lips dropping to the soft skin of your neck every now and then, sometimes just resting there, feeling your skin against his lips. On many occasions you could be found walking around his flat in nothing but a pair of barely there lace panties and a white t-shirt so tight and sheer your perky nipples were on complete display; Harry didn't mind, he didn't mind whatsoever, but his past girlfriends were a different story. Eventually, and you weren't quite sure when, you both stopped dating. Harry stopping bringing home girls, and you stopped bringing home guys. It wasn't something you had discussed, it wasn't something that needed to be discussed; you were simply best friends. Not friends with benefits, just best friends who enjoyed each other's company.

"Ya don't know that, pet." He sent you a smile before moving closer to you, his hands reaching out towards your hips before firmly grasping onto them and maneuvering you so you were now straddling his lap as he rested his back against the couch. You were only wearing a pair of black lace panties that didn't leave much to the imagination and one of Harry's old band tshirts, tied into a knot at the bottom so the skin of your stomach was exposed and the shirt didn't completely swallow you up. It was baffling to him how comfortable you two were with each other, and every time you slinked around his flat in barely there clothing, like right now, it got increasingly harder for him to not bend you over his kitchen counter or couch or really whatever surface he could get you on and finally sink his aching cock into your heat. He wasn't sure where the question about babies even came from, to be honest. He just knows he was once again imagining you withering underneath him, your body draped in his as he pounded into you and you cried out his name, and suddenly he was picturing getting you pregnant and raising a child with you. His hands slipped under your shirt and rested just under your breast bones, his cold fingertips digging into the warm flesh as his eyes fluttered up to meet yours, "Think we would have some pretty great sex in the process as well, love."

"Shut up," you let out a breathy laugh passing his words off as joking; he was taking the piss out of you, that's what it was, but you couldn't control the way your heart started racing at his words and your stomach began to twist itself into knots. His lips began trailing down your jawline, his grip on your hips becoming tighter as he pushed you down onto his hips even more than before and you became increasingly aware of the bulge in his pants that was pressing against your now wet, clothed core. You had absolutely no idea what was happening or how you two had ended up in this position, but you weren't going to complain.

"Don' tell me you haven't thought about it."

"Having a baby with you?" You asked breathlessly, your eyes falling closed as Harry began to move your hips over his bulge, causing you to let out a quiet whimper as the fabric of his jeans rubbed through the thin lace material covering your clit.

"No love," he let out a throaty laugh, his eyes moving down to where you two were currently grinding against one another, "Don' know why I was thinkin' of havin' a baby, really... was mainly just thinking about sinking my cock inside of ya, pet."

Your eyes snapped open as the words left his mouth as you pressed your clit down against him to gain even more friction as his words literally caused you to throb at the thought, "Harry..." you whimpered quietly, your fingers now gripping onto his tshirt tightly.

"Do you wan' tha'?" His accent was thicker than you had ever heard before as you stared into his darkening eyes, and all you could do was nod your head and let out a breathy sigh of agreement along with it. Somewhere among your exchange of words, Harry's hand had slipped into your panties and his finger was slowly moving around your clit, but not quite applying the pressure you were currently craving; he was going to make you beg for it.

"Harry, please..." you sighed, your fingers messily working to unbutton the top he was currently wearing, which, to be fair, wasn't too much of a task since most of the buttons were undone anyway. Your mind was reeling and you had no idea how you two had ended up in this position; you hadn't even kissed yet and somehow his hand was down your panties. His finger immediately pressed into your clit after you whimpered another pitiful please, his fingers rubbing against the small button with force.

"Think I could make ya cum with just my fingers?" His eyes were now glued to your face, watching as your mouth dropped open slightly as he applied more pressure to the sensitive bundle of nerves and began working it with two fingers, picking up the pace as your breathing increased.

"Yes," you whimpered out quickly, your hands pushing the sleeves of his shirt down as you leaned forward, placing a soft kiss at the base of his throat before sucking the skin inbetween your lips and nipping on it softly, causing Harry to let out a moan. Your lips trailed up to the shell of his ear as your hands shakily made their way down to the waistband of his pants "But I'd rather you make me cum with your cock."

Harry's fingers stalled for a moment as the words left your mouth, his cock twitching as you moved your face directly in front of his. It was a split second descion, but soon his lips were on yours as he pulled his hand out of your panties and quickly hoisted you up even furthuer on his hips as he stood, his arms wrapping under your ass to make sure you didn't fall. This kiss was nothing like the ones you'd shared before; it was passionate and raw and you swore you could see stars behind your eyelids as his tongue trailed over your bottom lip, fighting its way into your mouth and against your own.

Neither of you were sure how you managed to stumble into his bedrooom, but soon you were being thrown onto his bed and he was stood at the foot of it, quickly throwing off the clothing that still draped over his body.

"Ya wearin' too many clothes, love..." he rasped, and you couldn't help but watch his now swollen lips as he spoke. The second his boxers slid off, though, your eyes had quickly forgotten about his lips. You weren't surprised that he was huge; you had seen him running around in his boxers after many shows, the hard outline of his cock on display for whomever decided to wander into his dressing room to ever doubt his size, but you were surprised at how pretty it was. You were no virgin, you'd see your fair share of cocks, but none of them made your mouth water and want to beg to suck it off. The tip was red and already leaking precum, and your hands twitched, wanting to reach out and feel the weight of him in your hand as you worked him to his release, but you had one goal for tonight; to get him inside of you.

Your eyes moved up to his finally, and he raised an eyebrow at you, obviously having caught you admiring his cock, but you only smiled sweetly and quickly tossed of your (his) shirt, finally revealing your breasts to Harry, and now it was his turn to stare. He had never seen them before, despite how bad he wanted to and the little amount of clothing you wore around him; every now and then he would get a peak of side boob, but you were always careful to keep them well covered. His pupils seemed to take over his entire irises and before you could even blink, he was crawling on top of you and his lips had made a home on your perky and erect nipples.

"Fuck," you cried as he sunk his teeth down on the sensitive nub, your eyes rolling back slightly as you felt his cock slap against your thigh. You let out a quiet whine as he moved onto your other nipple, your hand sliding between the two of you and finally wrapping your small fingers around his length.

"Don' do tha', pet.." he looked up at you as his hips instinctively snapped forward searching for more friction, but you only tightened your hold and ran your thumb over the head of his cock, slowly swirling the precum that had built up around him. He closed his eyes, taking in a sharp breath and just breathing for a moment before he quickly moved up your body so his face was hovering over yours, his cock now lingering over your still clothed, wet heat, "Need ya t' get ya hand off o' me, love, so I can get inside of ya."

Your hand stalled for a moment before finally giving in, but you were quick to bring your hand up to your lips and lick the precum that was now on your thumb off, your tongue swirling around it as you smirked up at Harry. He said nothing, only smirked before quickly pulling your panties off and throwing them across the room.

"Like to play dirty huh?" At this point he was now sitting up in between your legs, his eyes glued to your dripping center as he wrapped his own hand around his cock, slowly dragging the head of it through your walls. You pushed your hips up as he neared your entrance, letting out a quiet gasp as he pushed just the tip inside of your warm walls.

"Please Harry.." you whined, your fingers wrapping around the sheets on either side of you as you spread your legs even further, your hips snapping up in hopes of getting him fully inside of you. But he was quick, and his hands came to rest on your hips and hold you down on the bed so he could go at his own pace.

Slowly, he began to inch inside of you, his eyes fluttering closed as he felt how fucking tight you were and he swore he would never find someone as good as you, and he wasn't even fully in. Your eyes were glued to the spot you two were connecting, your jaw dropping slightly as he stretched and filled you in a way no one had ever done before. Neither of you mentioned a condom, which was something you both were usually very adamant about. But you both knew you were clean, and Harry had spent so many nights with you he knew the exact time you would take your birth control at this point; if you were going to finally fuck, it was going to be bare.

Once he finally bottomed out, he leaned over you and quickly intertwined your fingers, placing them on either side of your head as he rested his forehead against yours, letting both of you adjust to the feeling of one another.

"So fuckin' tight 'nd warm," his voice was strained and his grip on your hands was rough, and you knew he was trying to hold back, but that wasn't what you wanted.

"Move Harry, please... wan' you.. wan' you to fuck me till I can't walk," your legs wound up and around his waist, the heels of your feet pushing into his asscheeks and trying to propel him forward even more. Your words caused him to let out a loud groan which was soon followed by him dragging his cock until it was just the tip inside of you before quickly thrusting his hips into yours as hard as he could muster.

Your quiet moans and whimpers and the way you moved your hips up against him, matching his pace only seemed to spur him on, and soon he was back on his knees, his hands gripping your hips so tightly you knew there would be bruises in their wake tomorrow and you could tell he was determined to absolutely ruin you. He was snapping his hips into yours harder than you ever thought possible and you swore it would hurt if it didn't feel so fucking good, and you knew part of it was just the fact that it was Harry who was the one burying himself inside of you as if this was his one and only chance.

"Harry... fuck... please..." you weren't sure what you were begging for; your eyes were rolling into the back of your head and your hands were propped against the headboard, holding you in place so he didn't push your head against the wood every time he slammed his cock inside of your wet cunt. He was a moaning mess on top of you, his eyes glued to where you two were connecting, his knuckles turning white from the grip he had on your hips.

"Gonna... fuck... gonna make ya' cum all over my cock, kitten. S'that what you wan'? Wanna make a mess o' these sheets with me? Wan' me t' smell ya' on my sheets weeks from now?" The head of his cock was now massaging that one special spot inside of you with each thrust of his hips, and you could barely form your own words after hearing his filthy mouth, all you could do was nod your head and try to catch your breath as one of his hands released your hip and he quickly began to move your clit under his thumb in fast and hard circles.

"Jesus Christ Harry," you all but screamed, your toes curling at the feeling and you could see the faint ghost of a smirk on his lips as he continued fucking into you at a steady pace, his own grunts mingling with your breathless whimpers.

You were close, you were so close and the way Harry was ruthlessly pounding into you and creating the perfect pressure on your clit had your back arching and your pussy clenching around his dick in no time, leaving your mouth hanging open in a wordless cry as he fucked you through one of the most intense orgasms you'd experienced. Your entire body felt like it was on a cloud as your walls throbbed around him and your legs shook, your fingernails digging into the surface of the wood headboard you were clutching onto for dear life. It wasn't long before Harry's body was collapsing forward onto yours as he began to scream profanities and emptied himself inside of you, the feeling of his warm cum coating the inside of your walls causing you to whimper out his name quietly and dig your hands into the short curls atop his head as he buried his face into your now sweaty neck. He was completely buried to the hilt inside of you and he just wouldn't stop, and soon you could feel him starting to leak outside of you from the sheer amount he was cumming.

Needless to say, you were both completely and utterly fucked out. Harry slowly slid out of you, and you ignored the feeling of both of your finishes slipping outside of you for a moment as he stayed cuddling into your neck. His lips were slowly dragging across your skin, placing soft kisses on random areas every now and then. Your hands were busy playing with the tufts of hair on top of his head and the back of his neck, admiring how the short length was slowly growing out as you tried to catch your breath.

You laid like that for a few more moments before Harry gained the strength to push himself up on his hands and hover over you once again, a small smile on his lips as he looked down at your tired face.

"Gotta clean ya up, baby. Then we can sleep," your heart absolutely burst out of your chest as the name baby slipped from his lips; he called you every pet name in the book, but baby had never been one. You only smiled up at him and one of his hands came to rest on your cheek, his thumb softly stroking over your cheekbone as he watched you closely, "So beautiful. Ya' know tha'?" You let out a quiet laugh and swatted his chest, which was now on display due to his position over you.

"Only saying that because I just let you fuck me," you had a smile on your face so Harry could tell you were kidding, but you saw his eyebrows furrow and his head begin to shake quickly.

"No, always thought you were beautiful. Think I always will," his voice had taken on a more serious tone and all you could do was swallow the lump in your throat and nod your head, watching his eyes as they refused to look away from yours. You stayed like that for a moment before he leaned down once more and placed a sweet kiss on your lips; it wasn't like the one before, this one was holding a lot more emotion than just lust as he captured your bottom lip between his and tugged on it lightly, his hand keeping a firm hold on your neck as he moved his lips in sync with yours before you both needed to come up for air.

He was quick to pull you up and lead you to the bathroom, letting you clean yourself up and himself too before he slipped on a new pair of boxers and let you slip into one of his many shirts. Your legs were sore and he couldn't hide the wide smirk as he saw you struggling to walk to the bed, but he quickly picked you up bridal style and then laid you on the bed (he had quickly changed the sheets while you were in the bathroom). He crawled in beside you and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling your small frame into his large one and he placed a loving kiss on your forehead. The only sound that could be heard was the quiet hum of the air con and your breathing mingling, and you were slowly falling asleep to the feeling of Harry's fingers trailing pointless patterns against your hand.

"Ya know wha' ya said earlier? 'Bout me bein' married by the time I'm 30?" His voice snapped you out of your almost dream like state, causing you to wrack your brain for the off hand comment you had made in response to his silly baby proposition.

"I do indeed," you responded moments later, your voice laced with sleep as Harry moved even closer to you, his fingers intertwining with yours as he rested his head on your shoulder.

"Think you're right," he whispered quietly, his fingers squeezing yours lightly, "think I'm gonna be married to you, love."

[floralbfs]

WIP Ask Game!

thank u anon!!!!

1: Summarize your WIP in 10 words or less.

orphan gains powers, gets adopted by alien, saves the world.

2: Post a line from your WIP with no context.

'There's a whoosh of air, and Leo suddenly hears a voice he never thought he'd ever be able to hear again.'

3: Does your WIP have a title? If so, explain its significance. If not, what are you calling it for now?

Okay so I have been calling it the Youtuber Superhero AU (because it started as a fandom au but then i made it an original!!) but I thought maybe it could be "Thicker than Water", since my MC, Leo, is an orphan and he lives alone for most of his life (most of his life lmao at least until canon point? read also: around 9-11 years when in canon he's like 19?) in a remote, lowkey magical place/dimension?, but ultimately he comes back to his hometown and creates a family for himself!!!! i won't give spoilers but, since i already said this, part of his found family is his adoptive dad, an alien who is also a superhero!! If not TtW, I would call it maybe,,,,, Moonstone???? at least the first book!!! (ooh, maybe TtW can be the series name and Moonstone the first book's name?) because Leo kind of gets his powers through a moon stone????? it's not actually moon stone; it was a strange rock he found in the magical dimension that seeked out a champion for the god Huitzilopochtli??? and the closest word Leo could get for it was Moonstone, because of its uhhhhh singular qualities!

4: Describe the setting of your WIP.

OKAY, this is a fun one!!! Leo's hometown is named Star Nova, idk why it just seemed cool, and it is a futuristic city!!! They don't follow capitalism Because I Said So, and they're really into, like, environmental stuff!!! So you'd see SO much flora all over the city kshdsjfh like those???? idk what they're called but like the towns overridden with plants? but controlled!!! There's a tiny percentage of the population (tho I still haven't decided if this is worldwide?? I have a way to make it worldwide but idk) who have superpowers, either due to "individual" factors (e.g Leo's powers are bc of the moonstone, and Matthew(his dad)'s powers are due to him being an alien!) or were affected by a weird experiment an Evil Corporation™ were doing; ECtm was trying out an illegal experiment that could alter living beings' genetics to their will, but it went wrong and their substance exploded and went airborne. Those who were working on it knew about its risks and toxicity, ergo they were wearing a special suit and weren't affected, but the gas contaminated and ??mixed?? with the air and spread to the nearest city, Star Nova (the unofficial capital of the Joint Pacific Nations) and affected a Whole Lot Of People!!! this all happened a while before canon, and the corporation got away with it bc they were filthy rich basically. Anyway, a lot of the people who were affected to the "virus" reacted negatively and died, some were uhhh """immune"""???, and a few Seemed to be immune but had actually had a successful celular-level bonding with the substance! It didn't do anything to them, but their children/grandchildren were born with physical or mental anomalies, also known as super powers (gasps)!!!! BUT!!! a lot of the story happens in the magical city of Coatl (it means serpent!), located within a pocket dimension somewhere inside the Mexican southern forest, where Leo finds himself when he's four years old, recently orphaned, guided by a magical ....bird....being....? he lives there for around eleven years, and he's granted Huitzilopochtli's Champion's power once he's like. Not A Baby lmao. Coatl is.... kind of like,,,,, an Olympus, I guess? Only those with like the destiny to find it know where it is, and they can lead other people there if it's for good causes! It's almost like a sentient city, and the Aztec gods kinda. chilled there???? my theory is that a lot of religious mythologies exist, at least in this universe, and they all co-exist on earth, or pocket dimensions inside of it!!! anyway, Leo lived there and was basically raised by gods???? and an AI???? bc i love AIs???? and uhhhh i think that got away from me ajdhsjdhsj does all of this even count as setting??? am i missing anything????

5: Search for the word “knife” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

no knives sadly :( i guess i haven't reached Those Scenes yet???? tho there should be one in the first chapter….. my wip document is just kind of very messy ajdhsjdjsjdh i might just have to make a new document????

6: Search for the word “dream” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

???????????? why am i not using any words?????????? sorry :/

7: What are you most proud of?

probably the worldbuilding and characters (at least those with superpowers? maybe i should say superpowers period)!!!!! they're very complex and thought-out????? and i THINK they're original!!!!! so!!!!! ＼(￣▽￣)／

8: What is your biggest challenge?

oooooof,,,,,,,, probably..... getting an actual plot lmao????? like i have an overall view of my would-be first and second books, but i don't know if they actually have enough to them to be written as they are?????? like… idk if the conflict is really like??? worthy to be a Main Conflict™????

9: How would you describe your writing style?

oooooooh uhhhhh maybe….. flowery prose???? i'm a poet at heart, so if i don't use loads of metaphors and language uhhhh idk their name in english but language variators??? i will literally die. but seriously nsjdhsjdhsjfh nothing too serious!!!! most of my “”””angst”””” scenes are….. not so sad, i think skfjsjfj

10: How would you describe your WIP’s narrative style? (1st person, 3rd person, multiple POVs, single POV, alternating chapters, etc.)

oh!!!! well, i think it'd be multiple povs, alternating chapters, third person???? i'm still not sure whether to use 1st or if i already have??? p sure that's a different wip i'm thinking about tho

11: Which character do you have the most in common with?

uhhhhhhhhhhhh seeing how underdeveloped she is right now??? probably Persephone???? bc she's genderfluid skfjsjfjdjfh or uhhhh Scott??? bc i too love leo with my heart and would die for him and stay with him in the afterlife. (hypothetically, of course….)

12: Which character do you have the least in common with?

Maeve, probably!!!! she's, uh…. Something.

13: Your characters are stranded on a deserted island. What happens?

They Are All A Mess. akfhajfjajfj Matthew would probably become the leader and like. establish order and shit???? but he's also the hugest nerd so he'd just give the leader role to someone else (probably seph staine?) and goes exploring and cataloging shit skfhsjfhdjf Leo is probably the most resourceful one of the bunch, so he would immediately like. start planning for huts and food and stuff???? also idk if they would have their powers in this situation cause it'd be too easy to get them all out of there????? but let's just say they do but the island is inescapable by flight?? he can talk to animals, so he could communicate with the local fauna and like form alliances???? Seph is a good leader, so he'd probably like….. keep everything in check???? and Leo's friends are all good and resourceful, so they'd make a good team!!!! tldr they basically create order immediately and do their best to not struggle??? after a few days/weeks, some of them start to like. break down? but the adults are like. wise and shit??? and i'm pretty sure at least one of them is like a licensed therapist??? so they help each other out uwu

14: Have you chosen birthdays for any of your characters? If so, when are they?

oh!!!! only for a few!!!! Leo and Maeve's birthday is on March 25, Scott's birthday is on August 27, Matthew doesn't really have a birthday??? because time is different in his planet????, Percy and Persephone's birthday is somewhere in November, and uhhhh im p sure that's all i got akfjsjfjsj i suck at birth dates

15: Do you know your characters’ MBTI personalities?

GOD, no. maybe i should do their tests???👀

16: What would your characters be for Halloween?

Leo… doesn't believe in/care for Halloween, as he didn't grow up around it, but it's totally Scott's jam!!! they are dirt poor in a good first half of the book, though, so they can't really dress up :( they met in the library, and after (spoiler alert!!!) scotty's death, Leo feels it appropriate to dress up as Scott's fave characters every year. Percy and Persephone are (very weak) shapeshifters, so their costumes ROCK!!!!! they always do matching costumes, so they get cliché pair costumes!! Matthew….. uh. he is… way too old for that. he was literally alive before Halloween was even a thing, so it's not really his thing. Leah just……. does her own thing??? she can see ghosts, so she sometimes does like historical costumes and stuff with their help!!! and Ben…. oof tbh that depends on what his fave song/album/whatev is at the moment??? he kinda creates like a story/aesthetic for them and dresses up that way!!!!

17: Does your WIP have any themes or motifs?

uhhhh found family, definitely!!!! i really can't think of any bc i'm an idiot, but uhhhh intelligence??? if that's a thing??? like,,, they're all powerful and shit but it's also like. brains over brawns????

18: What’s easier, dialogue or description?

i think description!!!! neither of them are… hard??? but!!! description is like…… where i can go hog wild akfjskfjsjfb

19: Post a picture or gif that describes your WIP.

20: Post a brief excerpt.

Leo @Leoberry

You asked, I answered. New Q&A video is now up!

[3k retweets, 10k likes, 9k replies] 20 min. ago

[My First Q&A- video transcription excerpt]

[Leo Berry, a nineteen-year-old brunette guy with green eyes, wearing a red shirt with a lightning symbol on it that's loose on his muscular form, waves at the camera and smiles widely, dimples showing up on his cheeks.]

Leo: Hey, guys. You've been asking me to do a Q&A for a while, and the day has finally arrived! I told you to ask me questions on Twitter with the hashtag #AskBerry, and I've picked a few!

[Leo smiles brightly and lifts up his cellphone.]

Leo: First off, here's one by @razzberry- nice username, by the way-: “what's your cat's name? Do you have more than one?”

[The video shifts, and there's suddenly two cats sitting on Leo's arms: a large, orange cat quickly falling asleep on his shoulder, and a black kitten hugged in his arms.]

Leo: I do! This little fella-

[He gasps as the kitten in his arms struggles to get free and runs off-camera.]

Leo: Don't leave me! Okay, that little fella is Onyx, and, as you can see, he doesn't like me very much. Anyway, this little gal asleep over here…

[He points toward a small orange cat sleeping on his shoulder.]

Leo: ...is Tigress! She's my little baby. You've probably seen her around a lot on my vlogs, since she really likes to hang out on my bed.

Leo: Next! @Honeybats asked: ‘“is it true your dad is Jade?”

[Leo smiles and, after a few seconds of trying to school his features, bursts out laughing.]

Leo: You mean to ask whether my dad is Matlal Jade, the greatest superhero of our era?

Leo: ...Well, yeah! My dad- [more laughs] my dad is totally my Jade. His name is Matthew, and I keep asking him to fly me to school. He says it's not funny!

[He sobers up for a second.]

Leo: Jokes aside, he adopted me a few years ago and he'll always be a superhero in my eyes. I was in a really dark place when he found me, and I can't thank him enough for all that he's done for me.

[Leo looks away for a second and loses his smile. The video cuts and skips again, and Leo appears once again, this time sporting an easy smile and a blue shirt, this one tighter around his shoulders.]

Leo: things got a bit too deep! This one was sent by @shazhangs: “are you dating anyone at the moment?”

[Leo laughs.]

Leo: God, no. I mean, I'm not really a people person, you know? And I’ve been so focused on work, vlogging, and, uh, extracurriculars, that I really haven't had any time to socialise.

[Leo laughs again.]

Leo: This one comes from @perspartone: will you collab with any other youtubers anytime soon?

Leo: Yeah, sure! I don't think I have done any videos with other people in the past, so it'd be a fun thing to do! I just have to find a friend first.

[Leo laughs loudly.]

[End of excerpt. For viewing of the video, refer to Leo Berry on Youtube, and find the full transcription here at DailyBerries in a few hours.]

[canaryatlaw]

today was...a lot. idk, just going to the courthouse after being gone for so long just makes me anxious, because it’s flooded with people and you’re getting bombarded with questions about if you work there (yes) and a bunch of other things. okay but, from the beginning. I woke up to my alarm at 10, got ready and ubered to the courthouse (I really need to talk to the people who handle reimbursement about ubers because they usually refund like $25 for parking when people drive down, but I don’t have that option and my ubers end up being more than that- let my check right now what today’s were- yeah getting there was $21 and going home was $23...and they obviously don’t want us on public transit but I can’t just eat the cost like that every week) then made my way through everything to get to my office and end up just chilling there for a bit, because last time I was here I went to search for the orders to pick up earlier in the day and they were all like “come back at like, 2″ so I wasn’t in a rush to take care of those. working from my work computer now is harder than from my laptop, because I can remote access my work computer from my laptop but can’t get to my laptop from the work computer, so I can’t access half of the stuff I was working on. It’s honestly a giant mess regarding what served where and I know at some point I’ll have to deal with that but right now it’s too unimportant for me to waste time taking care of it. but I did okay, then ended up going on a more or less wild goose case for three different things for three different cases and kept getting bounced from one office to another (either physically or on the phone....so many damn phone calls. and it’s so annoying because I know exactly what happened to cause this mess but if I tried to explain it I know it would make zero sense to anyone else and just further confuse people.....there was this whole big thing about a case last week where like, my coworker and boss were on the phone about like all day trying to fix it, and then I realized this had all happened because I had typed a “2″ as part of a courtroom number instead of “1.” that literally caused so much confusion, and of course my survival instinct knows that they would never actually be able to figure it out, so I just kept my mouth shut, and I did not feel bad at all when it got blamed on the court and the clerk’s office because they’re constantly doing shit like this to make our job’s so much more difficult so th anger would’ve been there anyway. I was thinking while I was at the courthouse that while dealing with courthouse staff (generally either clerks or sheriffs) you have to manage to be somewhere between being polite and not being a pushover. because if you’re just rude AF you’re just going to piss them off and make things worse for yourself, but you can’t be a pushover when forcing them to actually do their job sometimes and have to give some pushback or you would get literally nothing done. I try to balance this by being pleasant but firm during the interaction, then giving a very sweet thank you and assurance that you very much appreciate their help, and that seems to work pretty well. it’s easy to get frustrated in the back and forth though so I have to make sure I don’t display my frustration too much. Sigh. anyway. it was a whole thing and just all over made me feel really stressed. it was nice that I got to see the one sheriff who really likes me, I feel kinda bad because she’s so mean to everyone else but like adores me for some reason haha and she wanted to make sure I got everything I needed, so that was nice to see. while I was alone in the office though I did end up calling the neurologist about the referral to the neurologist who specifies with movement disorders because I’m trying soooooooooooo hard not to be paranoid about this but like......something is wrong in my brain right now. like even beyond the leg shaking and blurry eyesight the cognitive issues have just become really bad. like all the time when Im typing and not thinking about it I can type the word just fine but if I hit the wrong key or something and need to go back and correct it, it’s like my brain is suddenly blank and I have no idea how to actually spell it and giving it my best shot and hoping spell check with save me, and it took me like 3 minutes to write out the last few lines because I kept getting lost on what I was saying and how to word things...and it’s like I can see the correct spelling of the word in my mind but when I go to type it out my fingers just won’t spell it right and I just cannot type out the correct spelling and it’s just....this isn’t fucking normal and if this gets worse and like ends up affecting my work ability I would be absolutely devastated because I really, really don’t need to be dealing with this right now on top of everything and I already have a $3K hospital bill (post insurance, it was $17K originally) from just two nights there and it’s not like I have loaded pockets here to pay out for a ton of healthcare bills.....I just can’t. I forgot if I said this on here already or not, but one night in the hospital, I think it was the second one I got woken up at like 3 am with some nurses in the room that said I was screaming in my sleep.....so that makes it 3 times that’s happened over the last few months, at least that I can recall, anyway. I’m so off topic right now so I need to finish this now. I left the courthouse around 4 so I could finish up some things and ubered home. the rest of the night was pretty normal, ate food and watched Veronica Mars which I actually finished tonight and (BIG SPOILER WARNING) I was SOOOOOOOO FUCKING MAD about how they ended it, like what the actual fuck???? one of the people on twitter that are/were really into the show who found me in the hashtag showed me all this stuff that one of the guys who was running it had made all of these decisions to set up a season 5 that involved canning pretty much the entire cast except Kristen Bell and change the whole tone of the show so there could be raunchy sex seasons and they just couldn’t work with a PI who came home to a husband so OBVIOUSLY they had to kill Logan, and then here we are with no season 5 and hulu has stated they have plans to continue it at this point so all of that bullshit was for nothing and Logan had such a good character arc and he was doing so great in season 4 and for them to just kill him off at the end for literally no reason whatsoever is !!! so fucking maddening!!! Ugh. I’m definitely not at a place where I’m gonna go start looking up fanfic, but I will have my little headcanon where that didn’t happen and they both live happy lives together in Neptune and everything’s great. again, ugh. and after that I started getting ready for bed and now it’s 2:30 in the fucking morning and I’m crashing hard for good reason, so I’m going to take my leave here. Goodnight babes. I can’t believe it’s still Monday because I have no context of days right now, but I hope yours didn’t suck.

[mrsmon]

Ok first of all, I call dibs on being that tree! (Talk about things you never imagine saying…) Secondly, yay!! You’re alive! And back in full force - WOOOOO! I love all your new works, but I love fluff, so I won’t lie, Spring Night was my fave :D It’s so great that you’re back to writing (a 10,000 word piece - are you crazy?!) I can’t wait to see what else you come out with next (no pressure lol). I’m still alive (barely, haha). I just have to make it through this week [1]

and then my manager is back and that means I won’t be the only sucker dealing with random curveballs being thrown from everywhere (seriously, the past week was batshit crazy, and this week is looking only mildly better. Kids, adulting is HARD). How are things going for you at work? Better, I hope? Aww, for some reason it feels a little sad that you’re leaving Japan, but at the same time, I completely understand why you would want to go back home and work normal hours and have proper [2]

workers’ entitlements that you can actually use! I sometimes think I work long hours, but honestly places like Japan and SK put other countries to shame (not necessarily in a good way). At least you’re not leaving till the end of the year, so you can savour the remainder of your time in Japan (hopefully). I’m actually hoping I can organise a trip there for myself at some point but it all depends on work, sigh. Did you end up deciding whether to go to the WINGS concert? [3]

I get what you mean about the set list (I would die to see that NMD performance from the Epilogue concerts live), but as you said, its Bangtan, haha. Ah! I’m so excited to see Yoongimon and Rapmonmon are back too (that Kumamon song is adorable and hilarious). Anyway, this has turned into a really long post, so I’m going to stop here (but since you reminded me about those Sugamon head canons, I will be back with one, *evil laugh*). BTS text anon

Ahahaha okay tree woman! I hope you enjoy your new existence. I may or may not be a little jealous, I wish my entire thing was just to stand around and canoodle with gorgeous boys. Sigh.

Thank you so much :’) I had a burst of creativity, thank god. I’m a sucker for fluff, too, tbh. I feel like I hadn’t written a mindless fluffy piece of nonsense since KNJ so Spring Night was so fun to write. I will definitely do more of those in the future. 10k words though - I can’t guarantee that will ever happen again, I am most comfortable in the 3k ballpark lol

God, I hope things have calmed down for you a little bit. Adulting is seriously the worst. I’m a little scared of grad school, but I know I will enjoy not having to drag my ass out of bed at 5:30am. Do you work a lot of overtime at your job?

It is a little sad, but I just can’t live like this for the next 40 years, especially since it doesn’t seem like Japan is going to change anytime soon, in so many respects. This culture has a way of wearing you down. It is great for travel and short-term stays, though! If you come here while I’m still here, you have to let me know so we can meet up. It is non-negotiable. IT IS LAW.

I caved and got tickets for the Wings tour because I suck lol I think I would regret not going, especially since they will be performing Cypher 4 and First Love. That alone is reason enough for me to go. I’ll just try to enjoy the songs I don’t like. NMD was…gawd. Michelle and I saw it live twice and I brought the DVD when I went to the states and we watched it again, and it still killed. The whole concert was perfection. It’s crazy to think that Bangtan are probably going to surpass themselves in the future and just keep getting better. I don’t think my heart can take it. 

lol I really need to take more photos of the mons. Most of the time they’re just lazy and chilling in my bed. I should take them on more adventures outside of my apartment. OH GOD NOT THE HEADCANONS ;___; You are so evil ;___; I just had two pretty disappointing dates last week, I am so weak for hypothetical relationships right now lol Anyway, I hope your weekend was fun and relaxing and that Monday won’t ruin your week from the get-go