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puckinginsane · 4 years ago

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What Am I?

Jamie Benn one shot

Warningsish : Smuttyish language. A curse? I think just one.

Words : 7.8K

I really hope y’all like it. I worked really hard on this.

🎵 Tell me, have you seen a sunset Turn into a sunrise? Kiss right through the night? 'Cause we should try that sometime Hold you 'til the mornin' And if I said I'm fallin' Would you just reply "I know you are, but what am I?"🎵

I usually don't go to bars or clubs with the intent of picking up a guy. Sometimes it happens, but most of the time I'm there to have a good time with my friends and get a little tipsy. Not tonight. Tonight I am here to get drunk and to get laid. It's one of those nights where the only way I'm going to escape life for a while is to get hammered and make bad decisions. Lately life has given me one punch in the gut after the other so I need a win.

I've already spotted my target. I've been watching him on and off for the last 45 minutes. He's tall, tatted, handsome. Built like an ox but hasn't said much all night. The guys he's with have all the energy and he's the observer. We've locked eyes a few times throughout the night but he'd always just look away. I'm not sure it's me he even saw. It's a bit busy in here tonight.

I watch as his friends try to convince him to go to the club with them but he insists they go on without him. He's nursing the rest of his beer so if I'm going to make a move it's gotta be now. I push any thoughts of doubt out of my mind. I need to just go for it. No more waiting for something to happen. If I want it to happen I’m going to have to make it happen myself. And what I want is for him to take me home and make me forget all of my problems, something I thought the alcohol was going to do but it’s done a shitty job so far.

I sit on the open stool next to him and lean on my elbow on the bar. "You should have gone with them. They look like fun."

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow, intensity in his eyes, then just looks down at the bar and shakes his head. "I'm not interested in the fun they're looking for tonight."

I inch closer to him. "What kind of fun are you looking for? I'm looking for some fun myself." I place my hand delicately on his forearm, not sure of how he's going to react to it. He flexes under my touch but doesn't pull away. "Some anonymous fun just for tonight. To escape life for a while." I give him my best I want to fuck you eyes and hope he feels the same way about me.

"I'm looking for the kind where I finish this beer and head home."

"That doesn't sound very fun at all, unless you're taking me with you."

"That is the fun I'm trying to avoid."

"Shame." I drink the last bit of my drink and call the bartender over. I'm not going to be taking no for an answer tonight and he's the one I want, I need, to take my mind off of everything. I order us a few rounds of shots. "You need something stronger." I hope he doesn't reject me. My experience with men is that most of the time they can't resist shots with an attractive woman, no matter how hard they want to fight it.

To my surprise, he picks up the shot glass and looks me dead in the eyes as he takes it. Suddenly it's about fifty degrees hotter in here and I think you could hear my heart beating from across the bar. "Aren't you going to have yours?" He has a cheeky tone in his voice, knowing that my panties have disintegrated into nothing simply by the way he's looking at me.

I almost forgot. I can barely remember my own name as he continues to look at me with those eyes. "Of course." I take my shot while keeping eye contact with him, the same as he did with me. "Another?"

"Why do you want to escape so badly?"

"Rough week, month, year. I just wanna feel good tonight, for once." Does he really want to know? I want to skip the life stories and get right to being naked.

He picks up a shot glass and hands it to me before picking one up for himself. "I hear that."

We do a few more shots and I'm trying to study him, but I can't get a read on him. I can't tell if this is going somewhere or if he just wants to get drunk with me and leave. He's not exactly flirting, but he's not rejecting my advances either. He's a bit mysterious how he sits there not saying much with his mouth, but saying everything with his eyes. He needs this as much as I do, whatever this turns out to be. I can tell.

“We can continue to do this or we can get out of here for some fun. I know you want fun. Why deny yourself? Let’s get out of here.”

He stares me down, pursing his lips together. Is he actually thinking or does he just want to watch me squirm? “One more drink then I’ll get us an Uber.”

“You’re serious?” I was almost expecting for him to turn me down again.

“I’m serious. You wore me down.”

“Don’t act like I’m forcing you.”

“You are.” The ends of his mouth curl up into a smirk.

He wants to act all innocent but he’s got a bad side to him and it comes through more and more as the night goes on. He’s not fooling me. We each have one more drink before closing out the tab and heading outside to wait for our Uber. I am still surprised that we are about to go back to his place. I’m not nervous. I thought I’d be nervous. I look up at him and he’s staring at his phone, jaw clenched. I can’t help thinking about all of the things I want to do with him. I can’t wait to kiss those pillowy lips of his.

He leans in close to talk to me. “He’s almost here.” He awkwardly places his hand on my back, almost wrapping his arm around me but changing his mind halfway through. I feel him relax a few seconds later. The last thing I want is for him to feel awkward around me. The whole point of leaving together is to feel good and have some meaningless sex.

When we get in the car I lean up against him and to my surprise he doesn’t tense up when I do. It’s nice. The one thing I notice is that he is so warm. He must be nice to snuggle up against on a cold day. That is something I definitely should not be thinking about right now. This is going to be a one night stand. Anonymous sex. One and done. A no sleepover situation. The walk of shame. All of those cliché phrases that means I will never see him or think about him again.

The ride is quiet, but not awkward. The alcohol is really starting to hit me, now that we’ve left the bar. I can feel myself smiling like a dopey idiot. I’ve accomplished what I set out to do tonight. I just hope it’s worth it. I hope that it does help me escape the way I need it to.

“You’re quiet all of a sudden,” he mutters in my ear, sending chills down my spine, making me wish this guy would drive 50 miles per hour faster than he is right now.

“I’m good. You good?”

“I’m great.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. “Good.”

For some reason this doesn’t feel like I’m about to go home with some random guy and have sloppy drunk sex. My limited experience has been that we are all over each other from the bar to wherever we’re going. Kissing, touching, flirting. There’s really been none of that here. I wonder if I’m making a mistake, that I was too eager, that I’m going to be left wanting more.

I quickly learn that not only are we not on the same page, but that he’s also full of surprises when the car pulls up to Top Golf and stops, not his house, where I thought we were going. We get out of the car. I can’t believe I thought he was taking me home with him. I should have known. I should have listened to my instincts. Maybe I should have been more specific.

“You know this isn’t the kind of fun I was talking about, right?”

“It’s not?”

I have no idea if he’s being serious or if he’s messing with me. “No. It’s not.”

“Oops. We might as well go in, we’re here.”

“This is really what you want to do?”

“You want fun. This is fun.”

“If you say so.”

He places both hands on my shoulders. “I promise you’ll have a good time.”

"Allriiiiiight. I'm counting on you."

"Mini golf or driving range?"

I can't believe he's serious. "I'm feeling adventurous tonight so driving range. I've never done it before."

He grins. "This should be interesting."

We head inside, choose a bay, order drinks and food, and get started on whatever is happening right now. At this point I'm just going with the flow.

He sits down in front of the scoring screen. "We have to put our names in for the scoring. What's yours? I'll put them in."

"This is supposed to be anonymous fun."

He rolls his eyes. "Fine. Nicknames?"

"Perfect."

"What should I put for you?"

"My friends call me Bunny."

"That's cute. Bunny it is."

I watch as he enters my name, then his. "Why are you Chubbs?"

"Just a nickname that stuck. Why are you Bunny?"

"Because I have endless energy. I go go go."

He raises an eyebrow and looks back over his shoulder at me. "Not other reasons?"

I smile. “There might be.”

He smirks before standing up. “The clubs are over there. We each are going to get ten turns to hit the targets. The harder the target, the more points you get.”

“Wait. Hold up. I thought I was just gonna be hitting a bunch of balls. There’s points involved?”

“Yeah. It’s a game. It’s just for fun, though.”

“Alright.”

“You take your club, wave it over here like this, and a ball will pop out.” He shrugs. “Then you just hit it. Don’t let go of the club, though.”

“I won’t. What do you think I am?”

He gets all in my face. “Drunk.” He belly laughs and I can’t help laughing too. “Do you want me to show you how to hold the club, how to swing well?”

“As tempting as that offer is I think I can handle it. Thank you.” I start to step up to take my turn, but then look back at him. “If you get that close to me, touch me, then golf is the last thing I’m going to want to do.”

"Don't you wanna go hard and deep, though?" Putting purposeful emphasis on hard and deep, obviously to drive me crazy..

Unexpected. I almost drop my club “Ok, yeah, let’s just get out of here.”

“Go. Hit the ball. It’ll make you feel better.”

He's actually torturing me now. And enjoying it. How can he flirt like that and act like it's nothing? I normally hate games, but I like this game he's playing. One look from him and I am a puddle of goo. Each word out of his mouth is carefully selected and has a purpose. He knows exactly what he's doing and it only makes me want him more.

The waitress comes over and drops off our drinks and food so I take a long sip of my drink before going back to the tee to take my shot. I try to focus on the ball as I can feel his eyes burning a hole in me. I don’t dare look at him because I will lose my concentration. I’ve only ever played mini golf and never actually driven a ball before so this should be interesting. I will be happy with any kind of contact with the ball.

I’ve seen this done a billion times, ok maybe not that much, but enough for it not to be impossible to do. Sure, I’m feeling a little loose but it’s not like I’m trying to perform brain surgery. All I have to do is hit the ball out there somewhere. I grip the club the way I think I should and I swing back and hit the ball. It is not graceful and I barely touch it and the ball weakly goes off to the side. How embarrassing.

He stands up and walks towards me. "What was that?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Not everyone can be professional golfers like you apparently are."

"I'm not, but my two year old niece has a better swing than that."

"I'm in heels and I'm drunk."

"Excuses. I’m drunk too."

"I don't know you well enough to have to take this abuse from you, you know."

"You should take your heels off "

"If you wanted me to get undressed, you should have just taken me back to your place."

“It’ll be way easier but go ahead and be stubborn if you want.”

I take my heels off and my feet feel a hundred percent better. I also feel significantly shorter standing in front of him now. "Now I can be Tiger Woods."

He laughs. "I wouldn't go that far. At least better than a two year old I hope."

“Let’s see what you got, Chubbs.” I sit down and lean back on the couch and watch as he grabs a club and steps up to the machine. He is one beautiful sight of a man.

“Watch closely.”

“Believe me, I am, there is nothing that could make me take my eyes off of you.”

He bashfully smiles and looks at the ground before moving his ball to where he wants it. He explains to me how and why he grips the club the way that he is, tells me the proper way to swing the club, what to do with my hips, everything I need to know to do better in my next turn. He hits the ball and looks way more graceful than I did. There’s a satisfying tink sound when the club hits the ball. It lands close to the target but doesn’t hit it. He mutters under his breath at himself. How could he be angry at that? To me it looked perfect. He turns towards me. “You think you got it now?”

“I think so.”

I feel a lot more sturdy without my heels on. I am feeling more confident in myself this time. I am going to crush this ball. I try to remember everything he was saying to me but it was hard to concentrate on the words when there are so many other things to focus on. His perfectly kissable lips, those dark brown eyes that I just can't get enough of, the nicest ass I've ever seen on a man or a woman. I could go on. I take a swing and this time I can feel the contact with the ball. It goes flying and I jump up and down. "I did it! I did it!" I could not be more proud of myself.

He darts up from the chair. "That was great! Way to go, Bunny!" He holds his hand up for a high five and I smack it. "Felt good, didn't it?" He hugs me.

"Felt really good." I look up at him smiling and he's looking down at me. "This feels good too."

He smiles and licks his lower lip. "You're gonna be harder competition than I thought."

“You said it’s just for fun.”

“Mhmm. Winning is fun.” He nudges me a few times with the cutest smile on his face. I can’t help giggling. I love that he’s starting to let go and be happy. He looked so sad in the bar and here he seems to be in his element.

I pick up the menu. “I’m going to order myself a drink. Want one?”

“Don’t you think you should go easy on the drinks?”

“I’ll be fiiiiiine. It’ll just be one. Maybe two. Want one? Oh my god orange dream sounds amazing. I’m ordering two and you can have one if you want.”

He grins. “We’ll see.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll pay for them.”

“Nonsense. Order whatever you want. I got it.”

“You sure? I don’t mind. I’m not trying to play games or anything.”

“I’m sure. I wanted to come here and I’d never let a woman pay. It was nice of you to offer, though.”

“Ok. If you change your mind let me know.”

He steps up to his ball and hits it so, so far. “I won’t.” He smiles. “Your turn.”

I get up and grab my club. "If the waitress comes by can you order those two orange dreams for me?"

"Yeah. I can. Still think you should go easy."

"They water the drinks down at these places. I'll be fine. It's cute that you're so worried, though.”

“You’re cute.” He says it low and bashful and has made himself blush, but he has the most adorable smile on his face that he couldn’t fight even though he is trying his hardest.

I think I’m blushing too. I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t sure he was even into me. “Thanks.” I can’t fight this dumb smile on my face either. He’s got me all flustered now. The first time I swing at the ball I miss it entirely. “Fuck!” I look back to see that he’s busy ordering from the waitress and didn’t see my epic fail so I play it off and go again like it was my first time. I try to concentrate on the ball but I can’t help looking back and watching him. He’s so damn attractive that it hurts not to be close to him. I actually connect with my second attempt and I actually hit one of the targets. I wasn’t even trying. “I hit it! Did you see? I hit the target!”

He looks up on the screen and sees the score. “Sweet! I saw! I ordered drinks and some more food. Are you cool with nachos and chips and guac?”

“I am very ok with those things. Thank you.”

He walks very close to me on the way to take his shot and stops while he’s right next to me and leans down. “I saw you miss, by the way.”

“Maybe I need you to show me how to swing after all.”

“I thought you couldn’t handle it.” He’s still talking directly into my ear, which is making me weak in the knees.

“I want it anyway.”

“Too bad it’s my turn.” He leans against me for a second before walking away. I watch that perfect ass walk all the way to the tee. I’ve decided that watching him play is way more fun than getting up there and making a fool out of myself every time.

I step up to take my turn. “I’d like that help now, if you’re still offering.”

He smiles. “Yeah, I’m still offering.” He starts to position himself behind me and just as he is about to get right up against me and hold onto my hands his phone rings. He mutters several curses under his breath and steps back. “It’s my brother. I gotta take this. I won’t be long. Just go ahead and take your turn.”

I sigh. Of course his brother would call. He was close enough for me to feel the heat off of his body and the anticipation of his hands on me has gotten my heart racing. I don’t want to go. I want to wait, but I don’t want to seem desperate so I take my turn and it’s ok. I am not going to be a golf master any time soon.

He ends his phone call rather quickly, but not before our food and drinks get brought to us. I sit down and wait for him to join me before digging in. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be. Family's important."

He nods. "Yeah. Very."

"Is….. everything ok?"

"Yup. He just got out of work and wanted to talk. I'll catch up with him later."

"Or tomorrow."

He blushes. "We'll see."

We eat our food and have our drinks before he takes his next shot. For this being an anonymous night we sure are learning a lot about each other and having great conversation. No names, though, we have both agreed that it would be more fun that way. We are going to stick with Bunny and Chubbs. I am having one of the best nights of my life. This has been so unexpected and fun and taking my mind off of everything that’s been getting me down lately. Chubbs might just be my new hero.

“I was wrong about those drinks, they were not as watered down as I thought they’d be. I’m cool, though. Ice cold.”

He chuckles. “Is that so?”

“It’s soooo so.”

“Alright then, ice queen, I believe it’s my turn.”

“Kick that ball’s ass, Chubbs!”

“I will. Just for you, Bunny.”

I get all giddy when he says my name, well, my nickname. I’ll never look at it the same way again. My friends call me it as a goof almost, but to him that’s who I am. I didn’t think I could have this much fun with a stranger. Talking with him at the bar, I would have never thought this is how my night would end up. I really thought I was going to be leaving alone. He has a cocky swagger as he walks up to take his turn. He looks back at me before he goes, perhaps to make sure that I’m watching him.

I never thought I would ever have this much fun doing anything golf related. I am going to have to come back here with my friends. Chubbs and I continue on with our game and of course he gets more points than me. That was never a question. Golf is obviously something he loves and this was my first time and it doesn’t help that I’m drunk. I wonder if I would do any better while sober. I’ll have to find out at some point.

As our number of rounds start to wind down I start to wonder what comes next. I want to keep hanging out with him. My initial intentions are still there, maybe even stronger than before. I wonder if he will want to continue the night or just go home. We have been flirting the whole time, but I still can’t get a great read on him when it comes to his intentions.

He shakes my hand. “Good game.” He looks at the floor and then all around. “There’s other things we can do here if you want.”

I smile. He wants to keep hanging out, that’s a good sign. I really want to get him alone, though. “Did you wanna get out of here? We can go to my place or your place...if that’s something you want to do.”

“Your place is good.”

My whole face lights up. I was kind of expecting him to turn me down. “It is?”

“Yeah.”

I immediately take my phone out and open Uber to get us a ride to my place. “We should wait outside.”

“In a hurry?” he asks in that asmused at himself tone that I’ve gotten used to. He loves to tease. It’s annoying how much I like it.

“Maybe a little.” I start to walk away.

“You’re gonna leave your shoes here?”

I stop and turn around. He has the biggest grin on his face. I am so happy I amuse him so much. “Oops.” I put them back on. “Now we can go.” He is close behind me, not touching, but close enough that it feels like he is.

It feels as if life is going in slow motion as I watch the little car on the Uber app inch through the map on its way to us. I wasn’t sure this moment was actually going to happen and I really don’t want to give him time to change his mind. No matter what happens when we get to my place doesn’t matter anymore. I just don’t want this night to end. I’m not ready to say goodbye forever to him just yet.

“You’re impatient.” I can hear the amusement in his voice as he looks over my shoulder at my screen.

“I always watch the map.”

“You like to be in control.”

I shrug. “Depends.”

He leans in close. “I do.”

I feel that in all of the right places and it takes everything in me not to jump on him right here and now. “Where is this fucking car?”

He points at my screen. “Right there.” I look at him in almost disbelief. Who is this man and why is he drawing me in like this? His shoulders shake as he chuckles to himself.

I bite my lower lip. He’s charming without even trying. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to kiss anyone so badly in my entire life. The car pulls up in front of us. “And here it is.”

The vibe in this Uber is way different than the vibe in the Uber on the way here. I can tell he wants me. His body language is the polar opposite. On the way here he was so tense and standoffish, now he is more relaxed and he couldn’t be closer to me. Our legs rub up against each other and I smile. Any contact with him sends electricity through my veins. He very confidently places his hand on my thigh and leaves it there. He wouldn't dare think about touching me on the way here. I rub his hand with mine, then move it back to my lap.

I continue to watch the map as we get on our way, purely out of habit. “Should be there in about fifteen minutes,” I mutter to him, as if I don’t want the driver to hear me. I have no idea why. It’s not like he doesn’t know. I rest my head on his arm. I guess I’m feeling more comfortable too, no longer worried about scaring him away. He agreed to come home with me and we both know where this is headed. I feel the weight of his head on mine and can't help smiling. It's been entirely too long since I've been this close to anyone. It feels nice. It doesn't matter that I don't know his name, this is exactly what I needed.

When we get up to my door I have a bit of a difficult time finding my keys in my purse. I can feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of my face as I continue to struggle. I finally grab them and fumble with them as I try to get my key in the lock.

He chuckles. “Are you sure you live here?”

“Yes I live here. I’m just…” I finally get the key in the keyhole.

“Drunk.”

“I got it in, didn’t I?” I open the door and we step in. “Here we are.”

He looks around. “This is nice. Bigger than I thought it would be.”

“It’s a great space. I lucked out on getting it. There were a few people interested. Do you want the grand tour?”

“Sure.”

I take him all around my place, unsure if he actually wants to know about any of this stuff. I walk through as fast as I can so I don’t bore him to death. Of course I save my bedroom for the end of the tour, that’s the most important room.

"This is my bedroom, ya know, where the magic happens."

"Magic, eh? Full of yourself."

"I practice my card tricks in here. What are youuuuu referring to?"

"You can do card tricks? Show me."

I laugh entirely too hard. Of course he called me on my bluff. "I can't! I don't know any." I go into a fit of giggles. “I was just joking. Ever hear of one?”

He smiles. "You're so drunk."

"Takes one to know one, bud." I poke his chest and he watches my finger as I do it. “Besides, I’m not that drunk anymore.”

“Still pretty drunk.”

“I blame all of those extra Top Golf drinks.”

“You mean the ones I told you to go easy on?”

“Mhmm. Yup. Those would be the ones.”

He takes a quick look around. “Cozy.”

“Maybe you’ll find out just how cozy later.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Later?”

“Yeah, I saved the best for last. Wanna see the roof?”

“You’re not going to push me off, are you?”

I laugh. “Nah. Too messy.”

The rooftop terrace is the main reason why I bought this condo. Situations like this is why I wanted a rooftop terrace. I bring a good looking guy home and get to say the line, wanna go up to the roof? And the roof is actually the best part of the whole place. It’s private, cozy, romantic, and all mine. I keep telling myself I am going to start a garden up here, but it’s probably never going to happen.

“I only moved in a month ago so I haven’t finished decorating up here.” Right now all I have is seating and a few tables. Some are single seats and some can seat two or more people.

“You should put an outdoor chess table over there.”

“A chess table? On no. You’re a nerd, aren’t you? I brought a nerd home with me. What have I done? How did this happen?”

"Takes one to know one." He smiles, so proud of himself.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. So funny. A game isn’t a bad idea, but not chess.” We sit down on one of the couches. For outdoor furniture, it is pretty comfortable.

“This is pretty nice. Do you spend a lot of time up here?”

“Yeah, most of my time. I love being outside and I could do a lot of things on my iPad. I want to get a fire pit, I just haven’t decided on which one yet. It’s gonna be awesome.”

“If you can’t have a backyard this is the next best thing, for sure.”

"Yeah. I want a house eventually, but this will do for now. I love it."

Something in the corner catches his eye and I follow his eyes to try to figure out what he's so fascinated with. "What's in there?"

I finally realize he's looking at the cabinet. "Oh! Come with me. I'll show you." I love showing off everything I've bought for up here. I think my friends are a little sick of it so I'm glad I have someone new to show. I open the cabinet to reveal all of the goodies I have stored in there. "I may have gone a little crazy. There's the hammock. I don't like to have it out all of the time since it takes up so much room. I have extra blankets and pillows for when I wanna get snuggled up out here so I don't have to go back inside to get any."

"Smart."

"Thank you. I have these little heaters for when it gets cold, and I plan to get one of those tall ones eventually. A broom and some other boring stuff and that's about it."

"Looks like you're prepared for any situation."

"I try to be. It's also a bit of laziness because once I'm out here I don't want to have to go in and out to get stuff."

"And yet you don't have a fridge or cooler out here."

"It's a work in progress. It's on the list, believe me. I still have a lot of plans for this place. It’s my chance at a fresh start.”

“Seems like a good place to start to me.”

I nod. “I hope so.”

"So, who are you trying to forget tonight?"

"I never said it was a who."

"It's always a who."

"Who is your who then?"

He shakes his head. "Mmmno. I asked you first."

"It's a lot of different things, not just a guy."

"But there is a guy."

"Was a guy. What about you?"

"No guy for me."

"Who's the girl, smartass?"

"I never said I was trying to forget anyone."

"But you are. That's why you're here."

"I'm here because you're persistent."

"Is that all?"

"That's all."

I could bring up the fact he has a tattoo on his bicep that's a heart with KT in the middle, but I don't want to scare him off. He obviously doesn't want to talk about it. I've made it this far, it's better to just drop it and move on.

I take a deep breath. "We were in bed one night. Nothing crazy or unusual. We were just on our phones, about to go to sleep. He turns to me and says 'remember when we were happy?' which confused the hell out of me because I thought we were happy. I thought things were perfect. Looking back on it now I know they weren't perfect but they seemed like it at the time. I was happy, though. I didn't need perfect. I just needed us. I still...I miss him?" I figure if I open up maybe he will too.

"You don't sound sure."

"Maybe I just miss what we had. That's never coming back whether we're together or not. He wasn't happy and there was nothing I could do to change that."

"And you think tonight is gonna help."

"It has already."

He grins. "Told you."

"You know what? I'm tired of your smug and cocky attitude."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am." I go to playfully push him but he grabs my wrists and stops me.

"You're blushing." I try to pull away but he's got a good grip on me. Not hurting me, but way stronger than I am. "Not so fast."

I'm too drunk to even attempt to hide the giddy smile on my face. He smiles back at me with those dimples and crinkle eyes that I've been falling for all night. "It'll be way more fun if you let go."

He hesitates but then slowly lets go and I try to tickle him but he stops me again. "What are you doing?" He's amused. He continues smiling and stumbles a bit.

I laugh as I try to hold him up, as if I'm doing anything. If he were to actually fall we'd both be on the floor. "You ok there, wobbles?"

He looks me in the eyes and sways a little bit. "Fine."

"Are you gonna tell me about your who?"

He shakes his head. "No." He runs his fingers through my hair. We haven't broken eye contact this whole time. All I want is for him to kiss me, although I could look into his eyes all night and be perfectly fine with that.

He slowly leans in and kisses me. I'm a little in shock at first. I was beginning to think it wasn't going to happen. He holds onto the back of my head and I kiss him back. I never want it to end. We deepen the kiss and it becomes more passionate. It’s very intimate for two people who just met, who don’t even know each other’s names. We become more and more desperate for each other and our hands begin to wander and explore each other’s bodies.

He runs his hands up and down my back, his fingertips just graze my ass and start to wander back up. I almost whimper and his hands stray further and further away from my ass. I want him to grab it, push me up against a wall, and have his way with me. I slip my hands under his shirt to touch the skin on his back. I am craving skin contact and need to touch more. He’s taking his time with his hands exploring my body and normally I would get impatient and want to get right to the action, but kissing him and feeling his hands all over me is a new form of heaven I didn’t know existed.

He finally caresses my ass as he moves from my lips to my neck and I swear my pants evaporate from the heat my body is generating. His hands mirror mine and go under my shirt and it’s electricity through my veins when he makes contact. I kiss around his ear. “Just take it off,” I say, almost in a whisper, in his ear.

He kisses up my neck and to my ear as he messes with my bra. I’d be impressed if he could unclasp it like this. “Can people see us?”

“I don’t know, but we can go inside if you want.” His ass has been calling my name all night so I take this opportunity to grab it and it’s so much nicer than I thought. I don’t move my hands, I am going to be touching this all damn night.

He makes a noise in my ear and nibbles on my earlobe. It seems as if he’s enjoying it as much as I am. “Yes. Inside. Now.”

I smile and kiss him nice and long before grabbing his hand and taking him inside. Somehow he had gotten my bra unclasped so I take it off from under my shirt and leave it on the chair in my office, which is what leads out to the roof. Before we get any further he stops us, holds onto my hips, and kisses me. His lips are perfect and I wish I could kiss him all night. I know I’m drunk so I’m trying not to be a drunken, sloppy mess about it. I want him to want to kiss me all night as well.

We get to my bedroom and he kicks his sneakers off right away, then he takes his hat off and places it on my dresser. His hair flops down into his face and he runs his fingers through it to push it back on his head and out of his eyes. How have I spent all of this time with him and not known that he has the greatest hair known to man. It’s like porn. It just falls right back into his face. I run my fingers through it for him this time and he smiles as he leans down to kiss me again. He hovers in front of my lips, just out of reach, and rubs his nose along mine. The tease. I palm him through his jeans and he bucks his hips towards my hand. I don’t mind taking our time, but I am not going to be teased. I fucking want him and want him right now.

When I set out tonight I was hoping to have some sloppy, drunk, meaningless sex. I did not expect to meet a guy, go out on a date, take him back to my place, and have some of the best sex of my life but that is exactly what has happened. I thought it needed to be anonymous and a one night thing and I’d never have to see him again, but how can I let this guy walk out of my life forever after tonight? I can’t. I have a feeling he feels the same way. I hope he does anyway. As we lie in my bed catching our breath I wonder if these same thoughts are going through his head. It’s still so hard to read him. All I know is that he definitely had as good of a time as I did.

"You should stay. There’s a great view of the sunrise from the roof." This is going against everything I thought tonight was going to be, not like the rest of it has gone to plan. I don't even know what's happening anymore. "Unless you have somewhere to be in the morning."

"Nowhere to be. I can stay." His voice is soft. I don't think he's believing tonight was real either.

“I can get a blanket from the cabinet. They’re nice and fluffy.”

“Do you want to go back up there now? It’s a nice night.”

“Are you sick of seeing me naked already? Alright, I get the hint.” I nudge him and laugh. We probably should get out of bed, though, I don’t want to get too used to him being here.

He laughs and nudges me back. “If we stay here longer I’ll wind up falling asleep and I’ll miss it.”

“You’re right.” I sit up and he runs his hand up and down my back. I can’t help smiling. “I’m gonna put sweats and a shirt on if that’s ok with you.”

“Whatever you want.”

We clean ourselves up in my bathroom before getting dressed. I grab some water from my fridge before we head outside just in case we get thirsty. It’s the perfect night to stay up and watch the sunrise. It’s not too cold, there really isn’t any kind of breeze even. The sky is clear so if I didn’t live in the middle of a big city I bet we’d see a sky full of stars. He sits on the couch and I get a blanket from the cabinet. I hate to admit that I am really looking forward to snuggling with him. I sit next to him and we get all cuddled up under the blanket.

We talk a little bit about my other plans for the deck and he tells me about his first apartment he lived in when he moved to Dallas. I love talking to him, nothing is awkward. The conversation is flowing and I feel like we have a nice connection. No matter what happens after he leaves tonight, this has been pretty special. We might also be doing a little bit of kissing in between talking and that doesn’t hurt either.

“I do have a who.” We hadn’t spoken in a few minutes but it wasn’t an awkward silence. It was a silence that let us enjoy the night sky and gave us time to think about what’s gone on tonight so far.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“It’s ok. I want to.” He sighs and pulls me closer to him and mindlessly traces circles on my arm. “We were starting to grow apart. We had our own careers, our own goals. We did the long distance thing for a while but it wasn’t working out so we took a break. I think it hit me way harder than it hit her and I probably should have taken that as a sign that it was time to move on, but I didn’t. We tried again but it just wasn’t the same. It was hard to admit but it just wasn’t working anymore.”

“That sucks. You think you’re with the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with and then you gotta start all over again.”

“I wasn’t looking to just yet. I don’t know what I want right now.”

“You don’t have to know yet.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know what I want either. Tonight was not something I regularly do.”

“Same goes for me.”

“The one night stand part or the taking a random stranger on a date part?”

He grins, showing those irresistible dimples. “Both.”

“Well, it was a pretty great night, so thank you.”

“You came up to me and wouldn’t give up so I should be thanking you too.”

“You thanked me a few times already.”

He blushes and buries his face in my hair. “That was fun.”

“I told you.”

He belly laughs and pulls my head to rest on his shoulder. We still have a little while until the sun rises but we find ways to occupy ourselves until then. When I first saw this rooftop deck this is exactly what I imagined I’d be doing on it, I just never thought it would actually come true. I couldn’t have asked for a better night escaping all of my problems. I know they’ll be there to deal with tomorrow, but it was great to escape them for one night. I hope I helped him escape for a little while too.

By the time the sun starts to rise we are both sober and struggling to stay awake, but we manage to see the whole thing and it does not disappoint. The sky is covered with yellow and orange as the sun says good morning. I am happy I asked him to stay and that he agreed to. I always feel that when I start my day off with a beautiful sunrise, that it’s going to be a good day. I would normally take a picture of it, but I’m too busy watching him be in awe. I never knew that when I bought this place that I would have the best view in the city.

I sigh, knowing that he’s probably going to be leaving soon and not knowing what the future holds for us. I could offer to make breakfast. He said he didn’t have anywhere to be today. I think I’m too tired to move, though. We do have to sleep at some point. I could ask him to come back inside and sleep the day away with me but I think that’s a little too ambitious. I try to study his face and get some kind of idea what he’s thinking. I see joy in his eyes so maybe there’s a chance.

He looks at me smiling. “This is amazing. I’m glad I stayed.”

“Me too.”

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome. I am exhausted and should probably go home and get some sleep.”

My heart sinks a little. “I’d offer to drive you but I’d never make it back. I’m pretty tired myself.”

“I’ll take an Uber.”

We stand up and I fold up my blanket and put it back in the cabinet. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

“Thanks.”

We make it to the door and I decide that I’m going to let this be what it was supposed to be, a one night thing. Although, it’s pretty much killing me that I don’t even know his name. I should not have made that stupid rule. He hugs me before opening the door. I hug him back and don’t want to let go, but I know I have to so I do.

It’s a struggle to keep my eyes open at this point but I look up at him just to get one last look before he goes. “I know we agreed no names, but I would really like to know yours.”

He shrugs. “That’s what next time is for.”

#jamie benn #puckingwrites #one shot #fan fiction #hockey fan fiction #jamie benn fan fiction #jamie benn imagine #nhl fan fiction #nhl fanfiction #jamie benn fic

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katsidhe · 4 years ago

Note

7.02 final thoughts? (Idk if this one has been requested yet)

7.02 Final Thoughts

*rubs hands* Ah, yes, the episode that got me into SPN. I could talk forever about season 7.

Fun drinking game: take a shot every time someone makes a different colorful idiom about Sam being insane. Hint: you’ll die, because I counted 25.

(I WONDER WHY Sam didn’t want to tell Bobby or Dean about his active symptoms of psychosis. Truly, a mystery for the ages.)

Even setting Hallucifer aside, this episode highlights so many of the things I high-key LOVE about season 7: the erosion of Sam and Dean’s support network (as tenuous as that already was)—take away Bobby’s house, take away angelic healing, take away the Impala, make them vulnerable and alone and crumbling under the weight of the trauma they’ve accumulated. The broken leg, Sam’s head injury and seizure in the ambulance? Strapped down, badly injured, the fates of their friends uncertain, headed into the belly of the beast? ICONIC. Over the top. Amazing.

It’s a similar kinda thing to Jody’s predicament—sure, she’s capable enough ordinarily, but if you give her surgery and drug her and leave her alone in a hospital with a liver-eating monster on the prowl, the stakes look a lot different, don’t they? I’ve seen this episode approximately one gazillion times but every time I get tense for her.

Quick thoughts on the Leviathans, which have a reputation as an underwhelming SPN villain. Perhaps because of how unsubtle and half-baked they are as metaphor for corporate greed/capitalistic consumption, perhaps because of how their promise of truly terrifying Old Ones, Cthulu-esque devourers, never quite came true (except for a bit in 7.01 and 7.02, yikes!). But honestly I’ve always liked them—I like how their organization and assimilation of knowledge drives the Winchesters deeper underground than even the Apocalypse did; I like how they made the Winchesters’ entire world into something mundanely unsafe and miserable; I like how they showcase the horror of a enemy composed of lockstep drones, the way that Heaven (and Hell, sometimes) tries to be, but never truly manages; I like Dick Roman’s gleeful ravenousness; I like their spooky mouths; hell, I even like the Dick jokes.

Bobby’s solicitousness towards Dean, and how awkwardly he talks to Sam a little later in the episode, is very emblematic of how bone-deep uncomfortable he is around an honest-to-God mental illness, and, well, around Sam’s issues in general. Which doesn’t make him a bad person, or unsupportive, necessarily. But it’s very evident that he’s got no clue what to say to Sam or how to handle him, that he’s leagues more comfortable dealing with Dean’s problems (as has often been the case regardless of Sam’s mental health).

A related, but separate point: the lengths the show goes to to emphasize “look, Dean’s not okay,” while Sam’s in the middle of a psychotic break… It baffles me a little every time I see this episode, when Bobby walks away from Sam all “yyyyeah I gotta go do some work” and then is immediately all “ok but Dean, how are YOU feeling?” It’d be one thing if Dean weren’t emotionally demonstrative, and if Sam were—if Sam, at this point in the episode, was so obviously struggling to such a painful degree that Bobby wants to make sure Dean’s not overlooking his own reactions. But that’s not really the case. Apart from some flinching, Sam’s been very matter-of-fact about the whole thing so far.

This is our first deep-dive into Sam post-Cage, a full season about he returned. And I love it to pieces, you guys. I love how these inescapable, soul-deep consequences are the inevitable answer to the moral of Sam’s story, where he interred himself with his worst nightmare, forever.

Dean after Hell is clawing for moral high ground. Dean focuses on this bleak kind of virtue, this idea of martyrdom and righteous struggle that eventually unspools and reveals itself to be fundamentally unmoored. He needs some kind of redemption for himself after what he was forced to do in Hell; he needs to own his destiny, and he needs that destiny to be meaningful and good, and he channels his violence outward in that cause.

Sam does not take any kind of high ground. He hurts... himself. He gnaws inward. No illusions about how “messed up” he is—he sidelines himself before Dean or Bobby can say a single word; he figures he needs to be on top of it, needs to get out ahead of the danger he could represent and reassure his family that he knows he’s a hazard. Sam has learned to repress and downplay and hide his traumas and his freakishness both to avoid feeling stigmatized and to avoid being a burden on the people he loves, especially on his brother. So when Dean reacts with fear (understandable) and anger (less so), Sam takes it in stride.

Hallucifer is probably my favorite thing this show has ever done. I could probably write another thousand words on Hallucifer alone—on how Sam’s using this face for coping, for compartmentalizing; both to hurt himself and to keep himself company, to sort through his pain and arrive at a place where it’s at all tenable for him to exist.

Sam’s skepticism about professional mental health treatment—his idea that this is a problem he can handle himself, that a doctor would "just stuff [him] full of pills”—is clearly one born of the family mold. This is his dismissive response to Hallucifer!Dean’s accusation that Sam won’t be able to cut it on his own. This denial, this idea that Sam knows he needs to get a handle on this, and therefore that he MUST do it himself, make a science of it, is fascinating.

On the subject of denial: Hallucifer poses a simple question to Sam: are you sure you got out? And Sam’s NOT sure. Faith that he’s free is yet another maybe-lie that Sam must tell himself with maniacal intensity this season, for the sake of his own sanity, to avoid the voice in his head telling him to shoot himself.

That Scene in the warehouse. Dean’s advice to Sam is to trust in Dean as the cornerstone of his reality. Asks him to build his whole world on his trust in Dean. What choice does Sam have? Who else can Sam rely on? What else can he do? There is no one else, nothing else. There’s only Dean, or Lucifer. It’s a dichotomy. It’s so CHILLING.

Especially in the context of what we know comes next—7.03, where Dean lies to Sam’s face, murders Amy, and uses Sam’s ~insanity~ to defuse Sam’s (justified) anger. And then, season 8, and 9, and 10, and, y’know what, the entire show.

Sam drives his thumb into his bleeding hand, and it’s SPN in a nutshell—forever choosing the claustrophobia of the path of slightly less resistance, forever clinging to the misery of a life that’s only just this side of bearable, burying yourself in the toxic fallout because the alternative is unimaginably nightmarish—using the trappings of free will, of defiance, to choose to claw holes in yourself so that someone else won’t. There is no escape.

Dean’s threat of murder-suicide on the phone is so clearly meant to be sympathetic. And yes, on a certain level it absolutely is; and then on another level, it’s, y’know, MURDER-suicide, where Dean’s taking explicit responsibility for and ownership of Sam’s life, even though Sam’s pretty clearly lucid. Dean’s assuming as a matter of course his ability and right to make that decision for Sam. How Dean views and deals with Sam’s instability in season 7 lays major groundwork for Dean’s willingness to let in Gadreel in 9.01.

#final thoughts #7.02 #sam and lucifer #sam and hallucinations #sam and dean #sam and self-harm #sam and hell #sam and trauma #sam and mental illness #sam and abuse #dean critical #sam and suicide #season 7 more like season HEAVEN #(except that spn heaven sucks ofc and s7 emphatically does not)

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nahimjustfeelingit-writes · 5 years ago

Text

Imagine

Erik and Reader are best friends and Reader is the best freaky love for Erik but he doesn’t know how freaky she is. He finds out when he sees her at a heels class dancing to Beyoncé- Rocket.

“Deep down, everyone doubts themselves. Sometimes, I think I’m not good enough but at the end of the day I know I’m the fucking shit. I pray you quit overthinking, replaying failed scenarios, feeding self doubt & seeing the good in everyone but yourself you deserve more, ma.”

He passes Y/N the blunt, licking his full lips with a quick swipe of his tongue, and showing off his gold canines. Taking a puff of weed, Y/N watches Erik scratch the side of his defined torso over a tattoo that says Fuck Reality in that cursive lettering she loved to see. He yawns, blinking his sleepy eyes a few times before looking over at Y/N. She couldn’t help but look at his face.

“Make yourself a priority, Y/N. For real. Stop settling for these toxic lame ass niggas. When you meet a real nigga you gon’ realize you was never asking for too much.”

Y/N passed the blunt back to Erik while staring out of his bedroom window from his king sized bed. She knew her worth, she really did, but she always ended up going back to the same fuck boys.

“You’re too fine to be giving all your time and energy into him. Too fine. My bestfriend needs to know her worth. You looking at me like that but I’m being honest, shit, when was the last time you felt appreciated? When was the last time a nigga did something for you and didn’t expect something in return? Called to check up on you? Texted you back? Ate your pussy because he knows you had a rough week and you just need your pussy ate? Some good sex? When?”

Her carefree bestfriend with his tapered dreads and full beard and mustache. His sincere whiskey colored eyes and messy brows that he always talked with. Raising them, creasing them. He smooths a hand down his solid and sculpted chest before resting that hand over his abs. The gold rings on his fingers against his brown skin was just as beautiful as the sun setting before them.

“I can’t remember. I’m embarrassed to say,” Y/N finally speaks. She heaved a sigh, unzipping her velour pink hoodie, a white form-fitting shirt underneath, “I know I deserve more. Ugh, now I’m going to be single and lonely for Valentine’s.”

Erik sat up on his elbows, the hue of the sunset against his russet skin, “I’m your valentine now. i’ll be there at 10pm climbing through your bedroom window with flowers. Dahlias right? Cool, I’ll see you later tonight?” Erik gave Y/N a teasing smile. She knew he was trying to make her feel better but it didn’t change the fact that it sounded so...honest? Like he wanted to do and say that.

“Scary movies and chill? That romantic movie shit is played out. We can snuggle close with some popcorn with Freddy Kruger on the screen.”

“Your obsession with 80s slasher movies is amazing,” Y/N laughs, “Why must you mix Valentine’s with blood and gore, Erik?”

“Why not? Instead of bleeding your heart out because you’re heart broken, you can watch a heart actually bleeding out,” Erik chuckles before he ashes out the blunt in his ceramic ashtray that Y/N made for him with 4/20 carved into it.

“Should I dress up?” Y/N played along.

“Just keep those same straight backs in your hair and wear those little stripe linen shorts that make your ass look nice. Oh, and that mini white T-shirt that says Daddy on it in pink letters. Can’t forget the mix match ankle socks either.”

“You can wear a durag with a pair of grey sweatpants and a black T-shirt. The ones you wear that’s all loose fitting on you because you refuse to wear a tighter one? Yeah, and a pair of Vans.”

“What time for our little date, ma?”

“8. And don’t be late either.”

“To a date with you? Never.”

“Okay, I have a question,” Y/N turns towards him, “what’s your idea of a perfect night with your girl?”

“Hmm,” Erik rolled his moistened lips in deep thought, “Dick rubs and intellectual conversations. Head in a comfortable bed. Falling asleep with my head laying on her crotch so I can just pull her panties to the side and eat her pussy. Honestly, give pleasure by just being there. We don’t even have to talk or fuck. Presence is just comforting.”

“That sounds amazing,” Y/N never had those things but that’s what her bestfriend likes? She wished she had that same treatment.

“Those chill, nice nights with someone you feel comfortable with.” Erik spoke in a low tone while twirling a single loc, “I crave that.”

“I know, ugh, me too, Erik,” Y/N laid back against the bed, “I have to go to class today.”

Erik gave her a questioning look, “What class?”

Y/N turned around to lay on her belly, “A heels class. Remember I was telling you that I started doing this like a month ago?”

“Shorty, I have other things going on with me right now I didn’t focus on that,” Erik gives her a sad look, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’ve been working on a routine. I think I have it down. It’s gonna be real sexy.”

“Sexy? Who you tryna impress with this class?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Y/N teased.

“Ah, man. That ain’t fair, ma. I’m your bestie.”

“You are but I don’t need to tell you my business,” Y/N rolls her eyes into her head.

“It’s cool, cuz I’m coming there with you.”

Y/N’s face flushed.

“What? I can’t come-“

“NO.”

She didn’t want Erik to watch her dance. Being surrounded by those women made her feel like she was in her room dancing in the mirror. They all connected because they related to each other. If Erik came there she would probably mess up her routine since he would definitely be watching her move. It was a heels choreography class and Erik is a man, he’s going to watch. Y/N wore either a pair of black high crotch panties with fishnets and a cropped t shirt or a form fitting leotard with black sheer stockings. Six inch heels on her feet with a skinny heel since she’s gotten better. Popping her ass and hitting splits to the music. Erik never saw her like that. What would he say and do when he did?

“It really ain’t that deep, ma,” Erik jokes because Y/N was spaced out, “I promise I won’t laugh at you. I don’t have shit else to do but sit around so let me come with you.”

Y/N pondered while staring down at her hands before heaving a sigh of defeat, “okay. You can come.”

“I knew you would say yes,” Erik gave her a half smirk, “You can’t tell me no even if you tried.”

“Don’t embarrass me in there, Erik,” Y/N spoke to him with a warning in her voice. She knew he could be silly and fuck with her but when she danced, it was her time to shine.

“Teh, girl, you really think I would do that?”

Erik got closer to Y/N, leaning on his elbows while his face got closer to hers, “I’ll be on the side lines cheering you on. I promise, okay?”

Y/N looked up into his eyes, giving Erik a weird look before turning away from him, “Okay.”

He was acting very...strange. Not like his usual self but Y/N could be overthinking it. She sat up on her knees, lifting off the bed to put her sneakers back on before picking up her velour jacket and her PINK gym bag that carried all of the things she needed for class.

“Put on a shirt and come on, Erik.” She picked up a shirt that was wrinkled and balled up on the floor before throwing it at him, “I’m not trying to be late!”

“Calm that shit the fuck down, Y/N. Don’t give me attitude before I really make you late for this class.”

—————————-

“You calm down yet?” Erik asks Y/N while following behind her to the dance studio that held her heels class. The closer they walked, the more Erik could hear the deep base to the sensual music that vibrates the walls. He’d sit back and watch a bunch of women shake their ass in heels. Erik looked at his bestfriend walking ahead of him as she lead the way with a sway of her hips. Those tantalizing hips. Erik looked up at the back of her head as if she had eyes back their and could see him checking her out. He couldn’t help himself. Like he said back in his room, she’s too fine.

“Are you going to behave?” She looked back at him over her shoulder with a brow raised, “Well? Are you?”

“Yes ma’am,” Erik said with a husky voice, “whatever you say.”

Y/N rolled her eyes before making a left turn, opening the double doors to a dimly lit studio with a pink neon sign of a woman in heels that read dance. A few chairs rested in the corner of the room, mirrors were placed on one side of the wall so that the ladies could watch themselves. A guy stood off to the side in deep conversation with a short plump girl about 5’ 3 dressed in a mesh leotard with red fishnets and heels. He was fumbling with a camcorder that Erik assumes is used to record the ladies do their routines. On the polished hardwood floor, directly in the middle, were all the ladies doing stretches. Some were down in a split stretching out their legs, others were bending over to touch their toes, stretching out their backs. Erik recognized the music. It sounded like Teyana Taylor & Kehlani- Morning.

“Okay, I gotta get myself changed, I’ll be back, alright?” Y/N spoke with a whisper to him.

“Yeah, I’ll be over here,” Erik pointed to a black chair with a leather cushion to sit on.

“Cool,” Y/N gave Erik a silly smile before walking away, waving to a few ladies as she made her way over to the dressing room. Erik rested his hands in the pockets of his black cargo pants that he wore. The wrinkled shirt wasn’t the shirt he had on. He was wearing a muscle tee with the sides cut really low, giving you a view of his muscles and scars along his ribs down to his hips. Black boots on his feet and gold around his neck and on his fingers. Erik scratches his scruffy facial hair while looking around the class. When he did this, eyes were on him, wondering who this handsome guy was that came with Y/N. He entertained their looks for a minute before taking his phone out of his pocket to scroll through pointless apps.

“Oooo, Y/N, what routine are we gonna start out with today, honey?” A tall mocha skinned girl with a large curly bush and a black catsuit on asked. Erik looked up at the mention of her name. His eyes seemed to widen and gawk at Y/N. Erik was in a state of stupor. Stupefied but mesmerized at the same time.

“I have something I’ve been working on all week but that can wait for tomorrow. I gotta have a guy to do the lap dance with. When is Montell coming back?”

“Girl, why use Montell when you can use him?” The tall chick pointed at Erik. Erik looks over at Y/N, watching her eyes grow wide.

“Erik? No,” Y/N laughs, “He’s just here to watch until I’m done.”

The chubby chick that was talking to the camera guy came over to intrude, “Isn’t that your boyfriend though?”

“No. He’s my bestfriend and he’s just going to watch.”

“Well, can I use him for my routine then? I put a little something something together to Ciara- Body Party and I need a nigga to pop this ass on. He so cute, Y/N. Hi bestfriend!” The pretty chubby girl waved at Erik who returned the wave with a smile on his full lips.

“He is cute. How can you just be friends with that?”

“Dominique,” Y/N was referring to the taller chick, “Erica,” She looked over at the short plump girl, “I’m using him for my routine.” Y/N spoke with finality. Wasn’t no chick in that class gonna put ass on him if it wasn’t her.

“Oh? Why the change of heart?” Dominique folded her arms while giving Y/N a sassy smile. Y/N didn’t say a word as she walked away, looking over at Erik before sticking her tongue out at him. He was in a fit of laughter, clutching his chest and everything.

Y/N was dressed in a black thong with sheer black stockings that had tiny rhinestones on it, a tiny black and gold wrap top that made her breast sit high and black stilettos on her feet. All that ass out and bouncing each time she walked. Erik knew his bestfriend has body but damn, he never saw her like this. Y/N was fumbling with a wall audio system that was installed to play throughout the studio. She found the song she wanted, pausing it, then grabbing a chair to bring in the center of the dance floor. The other ladies crowded around and the camera guy set up so that it was facing her. Y/N then walked over to Erik, a roll of her eyes while trying to fight a smile. She got down in front of him in a squat, talking closely with him. Erik leaned forward on his elbows to hear her.

“Okay, so I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that but,” She sighed, “I’m gonna need you for my routine.”

“Hmm,” Erik smirked, “What I gotta do?”

Y/N licked her lips, “All you gotta do is sit in that chair for me. You’ll be in that chair while I do all the work, alright?”

“Let me ask you something,” Erik narrowed his eyes, “Why did you change your mind so quick?”

Y/N rolled her eyes away from him before kissing her teeth, “You gonna do that for me, or what?”

“You ain’t off the hook, ma,” Erik stood up, while looking down at Y/N who was still in a squat position while staring up the valley of his body to connect with his eyes, “You gon’ tell me after this class.”

“Whatever,” Y/N finally got up, grabbing Erik’s hand with force, walking him to the middle of the dance floor. He wasn’t nervous one bit. He wanted to see what his bestie could do.

“Sit.” She instructed, earning oooo’s and ahhhh’s from the ladies around them. Erik raises his brows at her before taking his seat real slow, legs wide and one arm stretched over the back of the chair. He motioned with his head for Y/N to get started, his eyes intense and heated. Y/N motioned for one of the girls she started the class with to play her song.

Beyoncé- Rocket began to play.

Let me sit this ass

On you

Y/N sat down real slow on Erik while looking back at him. She wound her hips, back arching and ass moving up the length of his crotch nice and gently. She did a spin on his lap, her leg going up and over his head so she could straddle him. Her hands grabbed at his shoulders before pulling on his shirt to bring him closer to her. She made him watch her while her hips moved over him. Erik has to hold onto the sides of the chair.

Show you how I feel

Let me take this off

Will you watch me

Yes, mass appeal

Don't take your eyes

Don't take your eyes off it

Watch it, babe

If you like

You can touch me baby

Do you

Do you wanna touch me baby, ooh

Grab a hold, don't let go

Let me know

That you

Ready (ready)

Erik looked at her with eyes so deeply filled with desire there was no denying his attraction to his bestfriend. Y/N held those eyes with her low ones, before grabbing his jaw to tease him. She almost touched his lips with hers but she pulled away before Erik could even get a taste.

I just wanna show you now

Slow it down

Go around

You rock hard

Y/N stood up, getting down on her knees in front of Erik while running a hand from his chest down to his crotch that was indeed rock hard.

I rock steady

She bounced up and down in a squat to demonstrate how steady she would rock on that hard dick. A few chicks wolf whistled at that, cheering her on.

And rock right up to the side of my mountain

Climb until you reach my peak baby, peak babe, peak

And reach right into the bottom of my fountain

Y/N pats her kitty kat to indicate where that fountain he needed to find was.

I wanna play in your deep baby, your deep baby, deep

Then dip me under where you can feel my river flowing and flow

Y/N went back on the floor, her legs coming all the way up to rest on each side of her head. She was open like the peace sign. Her hands ran up her body, eyes still on Erik to show him that she was nothing to play with. He gave her a sly smirk that showed off a single dimple. So this how she got down? She danced all freaky like this? Showing him where she wanted him to go with his hardness?

Hold me 'til I scream for air to breathe

She grabs her neck, body arching from the floor. Erik could feel his dick growing stiffer.

And wash me over until my well runs dry

Send all your sins all over me, babe, me baby, me

Rock it…

Y/N got up from the floor, swaying her hips. She stared into the camera, moving in those heels like she was wearing a pair of sneakers. Erik didn’t know she was this flexible. When she arched her back to pop her ass, getting into a split stance while running her hand on her crotch he wanted to lift from that chair, pick her up, and hold the back of her neck while making her pop her ass on his hard crotch. He had to have restraint because this is her routine but FUCKKK, was it hard.

Rock it 'til waterfalls

Bathe in these waterfalls

She grinned her hips into the floor before bringing her legs up from behind, her heels almost touching the back of her head before rolling over to lift a single leg in the air, grinding her hips forward. She was showing him what that body could do. She was showing him exactly how freaky his bestfriend could be.

I do it like it's my profession

I gotta make a confession

I'm proud of all this bass

When you put it in your face

She stood, arching forward, and grabbing her ankles while looking back at Erik. Her ass popped and swayed from side to side.

By the way, if you need a personal trainer or a therapist

I can be a piece of sunshine, inner peace, entertainer

Anything else that you may read between the lines

You and I create rockets and waterfalls

“YES HUNTY!” One of them yelled out while snapping their fingers.

“THATS IT Y/N!”

Erik nods his head in approval. He found himself rocking to the beat while tapping a single foot and grinding his hips in the chair. She rode that song with so much ease. Beyoncé’s voice mixed with her sensual moves had everyone in that room watching in complete silence now. The song played on and then that’s when it became really intense...

I can't help but love the way we make love

Daddy, daddy

Ooh child, ooh now

Yes, Lord, damn baby

She was going crazy. Popping her ass, arching her back, looking at Erik with her mouth hanging open. Swinging her head from side to side, running her hands over her breasts before jiggling them. That continuous Daddy, Daddy, has Erik losing his mind. The self control was unraveling.

You driving me cray, cray, yeah

You ain't right for doing it to me like that daddy

Y/N crawled towards him. She was staring at him like she wanted to rip his clothes off and show some attention to the hard dick that she felt growing in his pants. When she made it over to him, she got into a handstand, her legs widening into a split, before descending back on him, her legs wrapping around his waist while Erik pulled her forward with his hands on her hips.

Even though

I've been a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad girl

Y/N bends her body back while grinding on him so hard and forceful that Erik couldn’t help but to grind up into her on that chair. His hips were lifting from the chair.

Tell me what you're gonna do about that

He wanted to do something right fucking now. Y/N was driving him crazy. His growls and moans were trapped in his throat because of everyone surrounding him.

Punish me please

Daddy what you're going to do with all of this

Ass

Y/N turns around, her ass rubbing along his chest. Erik moves his hands down her back before slapping her ass, causing Y/N to gasp and everyone around them to cheer and clap.

All up in your face, yeah

Hell yeah

Love me so deep

Ooh my shit's so good it ain't even right

This shit wasn’t fair. She bounced on his lap in a continuous rhythm to the freaky beat. Since she wanted to give him a little lap dance to this beat she was definitely going to fuck him to this song. Bestie or not.

I know I'm right

Hell yeah you the shit

That's why you're my equivalent

So sexy

To Erik’s disappointment, Y/N got up from his lap, circling him in the chair before standing behind him. She lowered her arms over his shoulders from behind, taking her fingers to drag his muscle tee up to reveal his chiseled body. Abs flexed, skin so smooth even with the raised scars, her nails clawing lightly at his ripped abs all the way up to his chest. Her lips lightly touched the side of neck, giving him a lick there while the song faded out. The room erupted with applause at her routine. Y/N wrapped her arms around Erik’s neck, rocking him back and forth with a big smile on her face. Erik grabs her arms, holding them with a grin on his lips. Y/N did her thing.

“Girllllllllllll,” Dominique shouted while coming over to hug Y/N, “You had your bestfriend ready to hop off this chair and handle you, girl.”

“Oh? Really?” Y/N spoke into Erik’s ear before giving him a quick peck on the cheek, “I’m sorry I put this ass on you and you couldn’t do anything about it.”

Erik clenched his jaw. She only fueled him more.

“Nothing to say? Hmm?” She dragged on.

Erik looked up at her with a tilt of his head. She knew those hard domineering eyes meant one thing and one thing only: she was going to get it for sure. He had something for her after this class.

#killmonger imagine #killmonger x reader #killmonger fanfiction #nahimjustfeelingit-writes #erik killmonger

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sunflowersunshinevol6 · 4 years ago

Text

Punkinhead (spooky mini series)

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Warnings: horror, drug usage

Summary: On a camping trip with their friends, Harry and Y/N awaken an evil unlike any other.

Friends to lovers, spooky series

Part One

1963

Hellen jumped, woken by the sound of her Father's drunken screams. She tip toed to the door of her bedroom.

"Bout as smart as them cows you're supposed to bring in! An' ya couldn't even do that!" Hellen winced, hearing her father's hand come down across her brother's cheek. Hellen watched her brother stumble, only to be yanked back up by her father.

"I'm sorry Pa." He whimpered.

"Know wha? You're gonna keep watch over them cows tonight. Give that scarecrow a break." Hellen heard her brother take in a sharp breath, struggling against their father's hold.

"No Pa! Please-"

"An' maybe Punkinhead'll take ya off my hands! Only need one Scarecrow right?!" Hellen watched her father grab a lamp and some rope, dragging her brother behind him.

Hellen put her boots and coat on quickly. Surely he was kidding about Punkinhead. Punkinhead wasn't a real thing. He didn't exist. Twenty minutes later she heard her Pa come back inside, slumping into his chair. She waited until she heard his soft snores before sneaking out into the night after her brother.

It was windy, the pumpkin patch was eerie at night, like little goblins waiting around, ready to strike at any moment. She shined her flashlight up where the scarecrow should have been. In it's place her brother, shivering in the cold.

"Abel!" Hellen shouted. She held the light between her legs, reaching up to try and untie him.

"He….he's coming." Able wheezed. His eyes were wide, staring at something in the distance. "He's coming for me."

"What?!" Hellen shouted, but she could feel it, the chill on the back of her neck. She looked up, Abel's eyes were red rimmed and filled with fear. He looked down at her.

"Leave." Abel gasped. "Go Hellen!" Hellen kissed her brother's cheek before turning away.

The wind howled and as she ran a piercing scream, blood curdling and filled with agony shook the night. Hellen glanced over her shoulder. What she saw would haunt her for the rest of her days.

Present Day

“I can’t believe you invited her to go with us.” Kennedi rolled her eyes as she hoisted her gym bag over her shoulder. She stood in the lobby with her boyfriend and their friends. Her dig was aimed at him though, Harry, her boyfriend, who had a female roommate she was not fond of.

It wasn’t that she was afraid Harry would sleep with Y/N. No, that would never happen. It was more so the fact that they were so close and she was so weird, yet Harry fawned over everything she did. Like she was the greatest person ever….it was annoying.

“Y/N is my best friend Ken. I can’t exactly leave her behind.”

“Yes you can,” Kennedi hissed. “You’re not joined at the hip.”

“I think Y/N’s cool,” Niall interjected before Harry could say anything. “She looks like she could kick my ass.” Niall had liked Y/N from the moment Harry introduced them. She was more on the punk alternative side with ripped leggings, diy vests and a plethora of band t-shirts. Let’s not forget her Doc Martens that were entirely kick ass by themselves. Kennedi rolled her eyes.

“Whatever Niall, you would.” Kennedi turned her attention back to Harry. “You live with her. You see her everyday. Do you have to invite her everywhere? That’s all I’m asking.” she wrapped her arms around Harry’s waist. “Don’t you want to be alone with me?” Niall rolled his eyes when she bat her lashes at Harry. God she was annoying.

“We will be alone baby,” he kissed the tip of her nose. Niall smirked at the way Kennedi’s face fell, annoyance furrowing her brows. “She’s my best mate. I can’t leave her behind.”

“You can, you just choose not to.” Kennedi pouted. Harry sighed, dropping his arms. “I’m sorry.” she said quickly. “I just...I worry sometimes.” Niall wanted to be sick. She played Harry so easily. He knew the real reason Kennedi hated Y/N was because she knew Harry. Y/N was first, all the time, and that pissed her off. Harry could deny it all he wanted. But everyone knew.

“Look. I gotta go home, but Y/N and I will meet you guys here bright and early in the morning so...be ready to go.” Harry kissed Kennedi once more before leaving the gym.

Harry skipped steps as he made his way up to the flat he shared with Y/N. They had met three years ago when Harry had moved to the states for school. She needed a roommate and he needed a place to stay. Though it had taken a couple months for them to get used to each other, it was true, they were practically joined at the hip at this point.

“Y/N!” he shouted, kicking the door shut with his foot. Their dog, Scrappy, bounded up to him. They weren’t sure what he was, he had been a stray, living outside of their building when they found him. Maybe it was weird for friends that lived together to have a pet. But they did.

“Hey boy,” Harry knelt down, scratching behind Scrappy’s ear. He could smell food cooking in the kitchen and hear what sounded like Iron Maiden, from the kitchen.

Y/N was cooking something Thai, a red bandana around her head, keeping her bangs out of her face. “Hello love,” Harry said, sneaking around her towards the cupboard. He pressed a kiss to her cheek. Anyone watching them would think they were a couple, but they knew better.

“Hey. I’m making chicken teriyaki. Know you’re not much for meat but-”

“No, no,” Harry interrupted. “It’s good.” He filled a cup with tap water, leaning against the counter. “You ready for tomorrow?” he asked, knowing full well that the answer was no.

“You sure I can’t just stay here? I mean, then my mom won’t have to come take care of Scrappy and I won’t embarrass you in front of your friends.” Harry studied her. Y/N was gorgeous, her humor was dark, but she was such a good and caring person. He hated that people judged her for the way she looked, especially his friends.

“Y/N you don’t embarrass me,” he said, grabbing two plates for her and another glass for her to drink out of. “You’re always home. You never go out….I think you could have fun. Kennedi is...tricky,” he said, unable to find the right way to say it, “but Niall is great. You’ll love Elenore and Gigi. Maya and you could get along really well...Louis , Liam and Zayn, they’re fun.” He took her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “I want them to get to know you. To like you as much as I do.”

“Harry,” Y/N said, turning to look at him. Harry was extremely close. Their noses almost brushing as she looked up at him. She’d had feelings for him for a long time, but she knew he would never date her. Guys like him didn’t date girls like her. She was lucky just to be his friend. “I don’t want you to think you always have to invite me.”

“I don’t. I’m asking you.” he poked his lip out, giving her puppy dog eyes. “Please.”

“Harry.” Y/N said, trying not to smile. “Don’t.” he wrapped his arms around her, placing his chin on her shoulder. “Don’t give me that look.” he fake whimpered, giggling at the end and hiding his face in her shoulder. “Okay. Okay.” she laughed, tugging at his arms. “Get off me.” she smirked. “Like I could say no to you anyway.”

That night Y/N crawled into bed, burrowing into the blankets.

It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried to be friends with his friends. She was a loner, granted she had a couple of friends of her own, she preferred her own company. That was until Harry entered her life. He was sweet and fun to be around, he didn’t care how much she liked horror films or if she preferred the pit at a rock concert to front row tickets to see Ariana Grande (she’d gone, much to Kennedi’s dismay.) Harry just fit. He was her one ‘normal.’ Her one piece of consistency. But she hated feeling like she was holding him back.

“I’m going to have fun tomorrow.” she sighed, looking at the ceiling. “I’m going to have fun on this trip.”

It was a grave. Six feet deep, already laid out in front of her. The cemetery was dark, wind howling around her. The headstone was blank. She stepped forward, fear gripping her belly, she looked down into the grave-

Beep. Beep.

Y/N’s eyes snapped open. Her body drenched with sweat. She threw her hand over her face, groaning. Why did she agree to get up at six am. Why did she agree to this.

Harry was already awake when Y/N came out of her room. Dressed in sweats and an oversized Meat Puppets t shirt, her hair tossed into a messy bun. Harry was in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, phone in one hand, cup of coffee in the other. He was shirtless, his basketball shorts hanging low on his hips. He smiled up at Y/N, pointing at a plate of eggs and toast on the table.

“Made you breakfast.”

“Thanks.” Y/N smiled, sitting down. Harry watched her as she scratched her head, stretching her arms up before digging in. He smiled to himself. He thought she was always prettiest like this. No makeup, baggy, comfy clothes, hair out of her face. He could watch her all day. It was moments like this, when he was alone with her here, he would pretend they were more. He would pretend she was his wife and this was their home. He would never tell her that, he didn’t think she could ever like him as much as he liked her. That’s why he was with Kennedi. He needed to get over it. Y/N was his friend. Only his friend.

Y/N could feel Harry’s eyes on her. She cleared her throat, looking up at him. He was watching her with such intensity, she shifted in her seat uncomfortably. “Harry?” he blinked, looking at her. “Might want to get dressed. We gotta leave in like an hour.” she smiled softly, watching his cheeks go red.

“R-right.” he stuttered. Y/N watched as he downed the rest of his coffee.

“You know, you could have gotten into the back seat after we picked everyone up.” Harry said as he pulled the van up to the gym. His friends were waiting outside. Y/N rolled her eyes, tapping away on her phone.

“And let the princess see me sitting next to you? God forbid.” Harry’s jaw twitched but he didn’t say anything. He knew she was right. If Y/N was sat up front by him, Kennedi would blow a gasket. That wasn’t something Harry was looking forward to. He had hoped maybe on this trip they’d get to know each other. Maybe get along. But he was doubting that seriously.

“Harry!” Kennedi squealed, she hopped into the front seat, pressing her lips to Harry’s. Her eyes flickered to the backseat, disappointed to find Y/N wasn’t watching. She would get it through her head this weekend though. Harry was hers. And she wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way of that.

Y/N took her head phones out as the back door opened and Harry’s friends clammerd in. The one named Niall sat beside her. “Hi,” she did her best to smile at him.

“Hey,” he gestured to her phone. “What are you listening to?” he asked.

“Oh,” she held out an earbud. “Black Flag.”

“No shit.” Niall sounded impressed. “Lemme listen yeah?”

Harry couldn’t stop glancing into the rearview mirror. Niall and Y/N sat closely together, talking and whispering to each other. He felt the weight of Kennedi’s hand in his but also the raging jealousy. He wanted to be back there with Y/N.

About an hour into their trip Harry pulled up to a rundown gas station. As he pulled in an old man and his son came out of the building.

“Everybody out! Stretch ya legs!” Harry shouted. Niall let Y/N go first, before hopping down out of the van after her. He stumbled slightly, reaching for her hand as he righted himself.

“Careful there,” Y/N smiled. Niall reached out, gently grabbing her waist. Y/N felt herself leaning up, eyes closing softly-

“Y/N!” Y/N’s head turned sharply. Harry was glaring at her and Niall. “Can I talk to you?” Niall smirked, letting her go.

He was gonna get through to both of them by the end of this trip. It amazed Niall how blind the two of them could be. I mean, he didn’t even know Y/N but could tell she had some major feelings for Harry.

“What’s up?” Y/N asked as Harry pumped the gas. Harry looked down at her, trying not to let his irritation at Niall show.

“What’re you and Niall doing?” Y/N raised her eyebrows.

“Excuse me?”

“Just….just be careful please. I love Ni but-”

“Harry.” Y/N cut him off. “Harry this is what you wanted. For me to get along with your friends. That’s what I’m doing right?” Harry huffed, looking away. “Harry you’re not my boyfriend….you can’t tell me you want me to be friends with your friends and then two seconds later get mad when I do.” she glanced over his shoulder. “And Kennedi’s watching….Look I don’t want any drama okay.” Y/N turned away quickly. Just as Kennedi was walking up on him. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You alright babe?" She asked. Harry nodded.

They got in the van and continued on their way. Louis and Zayn passed around a joint. Y/N talked with Gigi and Maya. They were sweet and Liam was adorable with Maya. Harry stayed up front with Kennedi. He hated hearing Y/N's laugh and not knowing what she was laughing at. He hated that she was having fun without him.

"Hey! Hey!" Gigi crawled over Y/N's lap, pointing out the window. A sign reading 'Grover's Pumpkin Patch' was passing them by. "Come on Harry! Let's stop!"

"We haven't even gotten to the cabin yet." Kennedi complained. Gigi rolled her eyes.

"So? We can take some with us to carve." Kennedi huffed, crossing her arms as Harry made the turn towards the pumpkin patch. Y/N took Niall's hand as they made their way down the dirt path. An old house sat at the top of the hill, the wood rotted and flung apart. An old woman came out to the porch as Harry parked in front of the house, everyone filing out of the van.

"Welcome to Grover's Pumpkin Patch. How can I help ya'll?" She had thin white hair and coke bottle glasses, crows feet withered around her watery blue eyes. Her gingham dress blew gently in the breeze. Harry stepped up, shaking her hand.

"Hi! 'm Harry. We were wonderin' if we could get some pumpkins?" She smiled, her eyes meeting Y/N's, there was something about the woman that put Y/N off though. She wasn't comfortable.

"10 dollars. You each can pick one." Harry grinned, reaching into his pocket. "Just stay away from the Scarecrow." She pointed over their shoulder. A scarecrow stood in the middle of the field, with a jack o lantern head. Kennedi snorted.

"What's that supposed to be?" Harry pinched her side and the woman narrowed her eyes.

"That is the alter to Punkinhead."

"Punkinhead?" Y/N repeated. "Who's that?"

"He's a demon. He fetches souls for the Underworld. If you done someone wrong they can summon him, and he won't rest until you're dead." Y/N's blood ran cold, the dream the night before flashing once more in her mind.

"Sounds scary." Kennedi said sarcastically, "lets go Harry. Get the stupid pumpkin so we can get to the cabin." She tugged on his arm as the group followed them. Y/N lingered by the old woman.

"It's true you know….you seem like you have sense." Y/N nodded.

"I should….I should go."

"Godspeed."

"Kennedi." Y/N said, her voice shaking with unease. "I don't think you should do that." She looked to Harry, hoping he would say something to his girlfriend, but he only glanced at Y/N and pursed his lips.

Kennedi had made her way straight to the Scarecrow. The old woman had annoyed her and she was gonna show her. She wasn't afraid of anything, especially not some stupid story.

"Kennedi." Her eyes flickered towards Y/N, she looked genuinely terrified. "Don't."

"Ooh." Kennedi said, her tone mocking as she grabbed the scarecrow's head. "Is Punkinhead gonna get me?" She yanked the head off the scarecrow, throwing it to the ground. Y/N shivered at the noise it made on impact, squishy as it split apart. Kennedi hopped down from the post, wiping her hands.

"Kennedi." Niall scolded. She rolled her eyes.

"Come on. I don't believe in stupid horror stories. Punkinhead is about as real as the Boogeyman." She nudged Niall hard in the shoulder as she yanked Harry back towards the car.

Y/N stood rooted to the spot, staring at the smashed pumpkin. A chilly breeze swept over her and her stomach was churning.

"She shouldn't have done that." She finally said, turning to look at Niall. "I have a really bad feeling." Niall shook his head, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, turning them back to the car.

"I don't like her either Y/N but you shouldn't worry. Punkinhead is just a story....an urban legend." Y/N looked back at the house as they got into the car. The old woman stood on her porch, still watching them. As they made eye contact the feelings grew. Y/N didn't know what it was, but something bad was on the horizon.

Hellen went back into her house. She went into her bedroom, kneeling down she ripped up the floorboard and pulled out an old book. She brought it to the kitchen, slamming it on the table.

"Stupid kids. They'll learn." She growled, flipping through the pages. "Here it is." She said, stopping suddenly.

"Cross my heart and hope to die, please keep me blinded from the sight. When Punkinhead appears tonight. Appease the soul, save the right, bad blood will feed this patch tonight."

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #solo harry #hs fandom #hs imagine #hs fanfic #hs2 #hs1

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ghostyprince · 5 years ago

Note

your pantherverse au is beautiful and now im obsessed with ryan sneaking round trying to surprise and prod “mrrrps” outta shane. fic would be adorable if your still open to pantherverse requests 💖

i hope you like this, thank you for the prompt, it’s so hecking cute❤ also it’s mostly my friend’s @josemorningstar‘s au tbh, i just help in with it. (he’s happy to answer asks about it too!)

read on AO3

Ryan puts a finger to his lips, twisted into a grin, in a shushing motion, and then he taps the flip camera icon on his phone. Shane’s frame from behind pops up on the screen, sitting on his office chair, legs crossed. He’s editing a photo, probably for a thumbnail, and it’s one of those rare occasions when he’s so focused he doesn’t even hear Ryan walk up behind him.

Ryan is moving slowly, putting one foot after the other with the ease of a predator, skilled in sneaking up on his prey. That is Shane and he does not suspect a thing. Perfect.

The footage shows Ryan reaching out, just as carefully, before going in quick, making contact with Shane’s back, splaying out over the thin fabric of his shirt.

Ryan holds his breath as he does so and a heartbeat later—

Yeah, there it is. Shane jumps, a little sound escaping his lips, a sound that makes Ryan’s grin grow impossibly big. It’s one of his favorites, he’d die happily hearing it.

It’s a mrrp, a sound plenty of cats make when touched unexpectedly, but Ryan’s favorite is the one Shane does. So, of course, he tries to scare or surprise him as often as he possibly can.

He only puts it on Instagram because the whole experience of Shane making that noise is a blessing upon this world that needs to be shared. Well, not too often, Ryan would still like to keep most of the occasions he actually managed to surprise Shane into a mrrp to himself.

He stops recording after he zooms in on Shane’s very much unamused expression, accompanied by Ryan’s belly laugh. He barely had time to pull his phone down and duck out of the way of one of the smaller Paddington plushes flying towards him. Another set of giggles bubble up from his chest before he realizes what Shane actually threw at him.

“Hey, I got that from a fan, asshole!” He scoffs, going to pick poor little Paddington up and set him back on his desk carefully.

“That’s what you get for being a dick,” Shane says, chin propped up in his palm, focusing on his laptop again. There is a flush high on his cheeks and Ryan, once again, can’t contain his satisfied grin. Shane is blushing! He’s blushing and he’s fucking sulking, at that!

Easily the best thing he’s seen all day and it’s only 10 AM.

“But it’s so cute, Shane. Gotta share it with the fans!”

“It’s not fucking cute.” Shane murmurs. He sounds like he’s mad but Ryan catches a glimpse at the hint of a smile behind his fingers.

He knew he won immediately.

“I won’t post it if you don’t want me to.” Ryan offers because he’s a good friend. And he also knows how sensitive Shane is about the sounds he makes, due to having broken meows in his cat form. Ryan personally thinks it’s the sweetest thing ever, but Shane is stubborn as hell.

“Go ahead,” Shane says, letting out an exasperated sigh as if he’d be doing a huge sacrifice. What a drama queen. “I suppose at the very least people will see just how gone you are over me.”

He adds, with a smug drawl to his voice, and it had the desired effect because Ryan’s stomach does a little flip. The one specific flip it got used to doing ever since they’ve started playfully flirting with each other, just tethering on the edge of too much or too dangerous. On the edge of their friendship, before it evolves into something more. More serious, romantic, sexual, just more.

Ryan is still trying to catch his breath after that whole interaction as he settles back in his chair, to edit and post the video on Instagram.

He wonders when they will finally say fuck it, and jump over that line between friendship and something more together.

Or, because it’s them, the Ghoulboys, when will one of them finally drag the other over that line?

The next time Ryan gets the urge to make Shane do that wonderful little noise is when they’re filming the newest season of True Crime.

They’re about thirty minutes in and Ryan is reading his script, then coming to a pause to look at Shane and give him an opportunity to react. But Shane isn’t really looking at him. In fact, he’s just staring right in front of him, so deep in thought, Ryan isn’t sure he’s even in his body anymore.

Normally, Ryan would be concerned, and he is, to a degree, but he knows how hard Watcher has them working at the moment, the anxiety, that their whole company might be a flop. It had a toll on both theirs and Steven’s mental health. Not to mention their sleep schedules.

So it’s not unusual Shane is zoning out, especially while Ryan is trying to talk about some pretty heavy murder case. Ryan does see an opportunity, however, to have a little fun with Shane not paying attention to him.

Everyone kind of just stopped, including TJ, but before he could say anything, ask Shane if he’s okay, Ryan is reaching out, pointer finger extended. He holds his breath, the corner of his lips already lifting into a huge grin and then his finger makes contact with the side of Shane’s face.

And Shane jumps. He flinches more than Ryan had ever seen him, and he’d feel a little bad if it weren’t for that ‘mrrp’. It’s so loud, is the thing and it makes Ryan’s heart sing in happiness.

He bursts out laughing, head thrown back and his whole body bowing into it. There is some laughter from the crew too, but Ryan is too busy looking at Shane, all bright smile and shining eyes, despite Shane’s expression being pissed.

Ryan knows it’s not too serious, he has gotten used to that expression, with how much he’s been a brat lately, at every opportunity he gets, to get a reaction, anything out of Shane.

“Very funny, can we go back to the murked guy now?” Shane asks, trying and failing at covering up his embarrassment.

And well, Ryan could point out how he’s been the one zoning out, but it has no use, Shane is annoyed already, and Ryan does know not to go too far sometimes. He’ll make it up to him later by buying him lunch or something.

“Sure thing, big guy.” He says instead, shooting him one last smile, full of warmth and fondness and it might improve Shane’s mood just a little.

It’s going to be another story for Instagram, and then it will remain a video on Ryan’s phone, sitting there for ages, for him to hit up sometimes and smile about, ear to ear. Show Shane, maybe, as they’re chilling together at Ryan’s, or Shane’s, maybe their own apartment together at that point.

Fuck, they’ve only been officially a Thing for a few days and Ryan is already daydreaming about their future, years down the line. Well, can anyone put the blame on him, really? When Shane is sleeping next to him like that, so unbothered, beautiful in the setting sun that filters through the plane’s tiny window.

His face is smooth, and Ryan has the weirdest urge to kiss his nose, or the small cluster of freckles right above his right eyelashes, or Shane’s slightly parted lips, huffing little breaths of air. He thinks it may be the honeymoon phase of their relationship, all of it being so new. Ryan is simply overwhelmed with the fact that he could do all of that now, and more if he so pleases. On the other hand, he doesn’t think he will ever stop being giddy about that. Or how soft Shane looks when he’s sleeping.

Ryan took a picture of him before he started recording too, it’s easily one of his favorite photos of Shane. And then, because Ryan Bergara is an insufferable little shit who has to entertain himself on the boring plane ride, he figured he might as well try to make Shane do that sound again.

The very first time he shared it with the internet in the form of that office video everyone loved it. So, Shane’s little cat noise had been high demand, people kept tweeting and commenting and yelling at him absolutely everywhere to upload another one of those videos.

And well, who is Ryan Bergara to deny them?

He raises the phone higher, to frame Shane perfectly, and carefully removes his hand from where it was resting, on top of Shane’s. Luckily, he didn’t react to that.

Ryan takes a few minutes, to think about how he’d like to approach it. Simply touching Shane has been done, he should do something more original.

He could poke his nose. Or tickle his neck. Ryan hums and his gaze happens to drift over to Shane’s hair. He could just bury his hand in his hair like he would with a cat’s fur.

He starts recording again, and the mic picks up his amused little chuckle.

“Part two for you folks, here we go.” He announces in a hushed tone before carefully reaching out to bury his fingers into Shane’s oh so soft locks, carding through it, maybe way too lovingly for it to be taken as a friendly gesture.

And then, there it is.

Shane lets out Ryan’s favorite noise and Ryan is fucking overjoyed. Up until Shane full-on tilts his head into Ryan’s hand as he lets out an enthusiastic purr, and Ryan forgets to breathe.

“Ohmygod.”

The words are punched out of his lung, in one breath, smushed together, and when Ryan would listen back to his voice later he would realize how in awe and disgustingly in love he sounded just then.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

He ends the video, almost abruptly. His other is still brushing through Shane’s hair, subconsciously, scratching at his scalp with gentle fingers. He feels Shane shudder and then brown, sleepy eyes are blinking back at him. Shane’s purrs go quiet but it reverberates through his chest ever so slightly. Ryan can feel it when his hand drops onto Shane’s nape, tangling into the long strands of hair there too, pulling just a bit, just to feel Shane shudder again, hear the soft growl coming from the back of his throat.

“Stop it, you’re gonna make me horny.” He murmurs and Ryan wheezes, but complies. Reluctantly.

“Did you just take a video of me, by the way?” Shane asks, rubbing a hand down his face, tired. Ryan feels it too, the exhaustion as he looks at his friend, business partner, boyfriend. They’ve really been through an awful lot these months, with Watcher, currently shooting the new season of Supernatural.

But they could always take a nap together.

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it. We’ll talk about it later. Go back to sleep, big guy.” Ryan tells him quietly, pocketing his phone and well, who is Shane to say no to that?

So he does, slipping as far down his seat as his Sasquatch legs would allow him, so he can rest his cheek against Ryan’s shoulder, using him as an impromptu pillow. Ryan does not complain at all.

They would talk about the video, later, when they would be in their hotel room.

Well, it isn’t much of a talk at all, it’s more of Shane watching the video while Ryan worries his bottom lip between his teeth. He shouldn’t even be nervous. He’d understand if the video would end up in his drafts for a few months still, years even.

Then Shane looked up at him, with that incredibly annoying, unreadable expression on his face, before leaning in to press a kiss to Ryan’s cheek. “It’s cute, you should post it.”

That’s all he says, in the most nonchalant way possible and Ryan would like to hit him a little bit for that.

Regardless, the video ends up uploaded onto his feed instead, because it deserves to be there, not just for a day, but for a good while, to mark the beginning of a new chapter of sorts.

It deserves a caption just as monumental, so there are no misunderstandings or a flood of questions later on.

ryanbergara: Part 2 of annoying the boyfriend 💖

Ryan wakes to the sunshine burning his eyes, still feeling as sleepy when he and Shane went to bed last night as he checks his phone. It’s way too early in the morning for either of them to be awake.

And yet, here they are. Here is Shane, turned in a way that Ryan can see the expanse of his back Ryan loves to admire. He sweeps his gaze over his favorite freckles on Shane’s back and the dip of his waist disappearing under the covers. The sunlight drapes over Shane’s back invitingly, making it seem warm, soft and kissable.

He kissed all those freckles many times, and he still can’t get enough of the sight of them, not even so many years later.

He still can’t get enough of waking up next to Shane, seeing him first thing in the morning. Ryan’s heart flutters every time, he simply cannot help it.

There is a faint light coming from the other side of Shane, bouncing off of his hair, suggesting he’s on his phone.

And that won’t do, Ryan is awake and he needs attention.

He moves, swiftly fitting himself behind Shane, with one strong arm wrapping around his waist under the covers securely.

“Mrrp!”

The sound lets something loose in Ryan and he melts behind Shane, his hold tightening around him has Shane complaining in the form of a groan.

Ryan doesn’t care one bit though, he’s purring loudly now, much deeper and powerful than Shane’s purrs normally are, considering he’s a panther. It must reverberate through Shane’s whole body because he relaxes, pressed into Ryan’s chest and head falling back on Ryan’s shoulder.

His hand finds Ryan’s, long fingers curling around his, lacing together and knocking their matching silver rings together in the process.

“You’re crushing me, dumbass.” Shane laughs, quietly, fondly, in contrast to his words.

“Mhm, don’t care.” Ryan hums, pressing a chaste kiss on Shane’s shoulder and hugging him even closer, to prove a point.

“Sure you don’t. Go on, suffocate your poor husband if that’s what I deserve! For being your faithful lover for years and—” Shane cuts himself off with another groan of complaint, attempting to turn out of Ryan’s arms when he has the audacity to wheeze into Shane’s neck.

Yeah, Ryan wouldn’t have it any other way.

#shyan #shyan fic #shyan fanfiction #skeptic believer #pantherverse #prompt fill #fanfiction #fanfictions #answered #asks #anon #anonymus #thank you so much for the prompt

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rareficsnstuff · 5 years ago

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Good Morning! [Iwaizumi, Bokuto]

Summary: Iwaizumi was invited to work out with Bokuto at one of the best gyms around and it’s honestly a great deal. The only problem is… He prefers a peaceful morning routine – a good breakfast, some stretches, and a jog followed by some core and arm strengthening with a little music maybe – but Bokuto was adamantly just not that kind of person. The actual opposite of peaceful. And, unfortunately, this becomes more and more apparent as time goes on.

Words: 1,832

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Damn, it was early. The sun wasn’t even awake yet. Iwaizumi didn’t have a problem with being up early, per say, but now that the time had come, he was kind of regretting the agreement he had made with a certain someone to get together and work out at such an ungodly hour. He wasn’t sure he could handle all that energy before he was fully awake. But he had agreed and dammed if he wasn’t a man of his word.

So here he was, out in the chill of early morning, waiting for his workout partner to show up to let him in with his platinum-member gym pass. And all this before coffee. Dear lord, this was gonna be exhausting…

“Good morning!” A bracing voice broke though the darkness behind him, making him jolt and grunt in surprise before turning quickly to see the speaker. With nose and cheeks pink, and eyes glassy from the cold, his face-splitting grin was almost offensive to Iwaizumi.

“Why the hell are you so cheerful this early in the morning? It’s cold out here; can we go inside?” he grumbled. Unaffected by the less-than-warm greeting he got in return, Bokuto turned to the door, fishing his wallet out of his pocket to retrieve his gym pass before stepping inside and holding the door for Iwaizumi.

“Sorry if I made you wait a long time. I tried to get here as fast as I could,” Bokuto said after they had checked in and went to settle in at what Bokuto had called his favorite spot – a far-off corner of the gym, almost completely secluded by a dividing wall. He had mentioned in passing that the only way to get it was to arrive really early like this. And aside from the employee managing the front desk in the other room, they were the only ones here.

“It’s fine. I only got here a minute or two before you,” said Iwaizumi, bluntly.

“Good!” Bokuto chirped, grinning brightly again. “So, do you have a specific routine? I thought we could coordinate so that one of us could spot for the other when we need to.”

“Sounds good.”

They spent the next few minutes working out that they would both start on the treadmill before moving on to core and lower-body exercises. They decided once they finished everything they could do together, Bokuto would be first to spot the other. About a half hour later, they had finished the majority of their routine and only Iwaizumi had pull-ups left to do while Bokuto took a water break.

Throughout the whole process, Bokuto had not. Stopped. TaLkINg. And it was really starting to get on Iwaizumi’s nerves. Most of his topics were just random occurrences he had experienced which he recalled with extreme enthusiasm at volumes the brunet was not ready to handle at this time of day. He’d like to believe that he was managing his temper pretty well; he had only snapped at Bokuto a handful of times and he hadn’t even fully raised his voice. But Bokuto was really toeing the line.

“So… are you always this grumpy when you work out?” the taller was saying, giving Iwaizumi a calculating look. “’Cause I think that might affect your blood pressure, which isn’t good when you’re working out,” he said idly.

“I know that!” Iwaizumi snapped. “And I am not always like this; I’m just not used to getting up this early and having to deal with loudasses like you!”

“You’re the one who’s yelling…” the taller replied calmly before taking another sip of water. This made Iwaizumi growl.

“Do not just pretend you haven’t been bouncing off the walls since we got here! And stop distracting me, I… Dammit!” he roared. “I lost count.”

“Fifty-seven,” Bokuto supplied, making Iwaizumi grumble as he continued on. “Honestly though, you gotta chill, bud. I really don’t know what you’re so uptight about. Doesn’t it feel great to work up a sweat like this?! It’s so fulfilling, right?!”

“Shut up.”

“Aww, don’t be like that! You gotta have fun with this!” Bokuto grinned.

“I’m having a blast, trust me,” Iwaizumi said flatly. Bokuto’s own face fell at the other’s lack of enthusiasm. If he was being honest, the grouch was kinda starting to get on his nerves. He stared at him quietly for a moment as he continued his pull-ups, almost scowling. He just didn’t understand; what’s not to love about all this! You get a head start on the day and you wake yourself up in the most productive way possible, and there was just something about the crispness and the smell of the morning air that made him so glad to be alive. And it was even better now with a friend here to keep him company! As Bokuto continued to watch, and Iwaizumi was reaching seventy in his pull-ups, an idea came to mind.

One corner of his mouth twitched upwards and he made his way to stand behind Iwaizumi. After considering him for a moment longer, Bokuto brought his hands up to the shorter man’s torso and quickly skittered them along his exposed sides.

“Seventy-eight, seventy-niAAHAha! H-hey! The hell!?” The second he felt the teasing sensations running up his sensitive sides, Iwaizumi spammed, immediately letting go of the pull-up bar to protect himself.

“Oh, no, please; don’t let me stop you,” Bokuto said as his fingers continued their skittering and moved up to his ribs. “By all means, carry on. Finnish your pull-ups.”

“Bo-whahA! NO! Stohop thaaahahat! B-bokuhutooo!” Iwaizumi chuckled, just shy of full-on laughter as he desperately grappled for a hold on Bokuto’s wrists and twisted in place.

“Now see, that’s much better, Yeah?!” said Bokuto, cheerfully. As the sensations progressively got worse, Iwaizumi began to fold in on himself, both from the force of his laughter and in an attempt to create some kind of protection.

Although he had a vice grip on Bokuto’s wrists, Iwaizumi couldn’t seem to summon the strength or concentration to pry the offending hands away. Bokuto’s fingers were relentless! He’d only changed spots twice since the attack started – at one point he’d gone to claw at his belly, but quickly found that his ribs warranted a much better reaction, so he decided to stay there. Bokuto had been pinching, nibbling, and massaging the lower sides of his ribs for so long now that Iwaizumi could feel himself starting to tear up. What the hell! He wasn’t even that ticklish there! It was just the relentlessness of it!

“Doesn’t it feel good to get rid of all those grumpies?!” Bokuto asked, teasingly.

“Shuhut it, you weihirdoho!” Iwaizumi growled through his laughter, bouncing and stomping his feet adorably in a useless attempt to alleviate the torture.

“Oops! Still a trace of grump in there~ Nah, don’t worry, I got it.” Before he had the chance to even think of reacting, the juggernaut of a man behind him had knocked Iwaizumi’s legs out from under him, grabbed one of the brunet’s wrists after breaking out of his victim’s hold, and used his free hand to push him down to the ground by his shoulder. Bokuto was usually pretty even-tempered and friendly (outside of when he was playing volleyball, of course), so sometimes it was easy to forget just what an absolute behemoth he really was. And now, suddenly, Iwaizumi found himself looking up at the sparkling eyes and child-like grinning face of Bokuto as he hovered over him, pinning his hips between his knees. Iwaizumi’s eyes widened in terror.

“Bokuto, wait-“ he pleaded.

“Here we goooo ~”

“No, wait! Bo-hhaHAHAHAAAaa!” Shit. There it was. Bokuto got his worst spot. By pure stroke of luck, but still… Back arched, head thrown back, and legs kicking frantically, Iwaizumi was straight up cackling now and his hands could only weakly, uselessly tug at the white haired man’s wrists. “AAAAaaahahahahaaaAAA! Naha-! Nahat theeehehere!”

“Oh, wow. Bad spot?” Bokuto asked bluntly. He grinned. “Hey, hey, hey, looks like I gotcha ~!” Although the attack on Iwaizumi’s death spot already had him in hysterics, now that Bokuto knew what he was dealing with, it was downright unbearable. His finger’s torturing movements were hyper focused, implementing the most insufferable tactics on his upper ribs near his underarms and- oh, there were the tears he had been worried about earlier.

“NaaahahahaaAAAA! Y-youhu Bastahahard! Stahapit! StahapstapstahahahAHAAAA!” He really needed Bokuto to stop. He was gonna pass out. It tickled sooo bad.

“Gotta work that cardio, dude,” Bokuto said, grinning. “Oh, god. You’re turnin’ kinda purple. Alright, alright, I guess I’m done…” he said passively, finally ceasing his torture and releasing Iwaizumi to stand to his feet. The shorter was left grinning and breathless on the floor, curling in on himself as he recovered. Bokuto chuckled.

“You have a great laugh, dude! So warm and full! You really should use it more often,” he said, placing his hands on his hips and grinning brightly down at his companion.

“Uh-haha… T-thanks… I guess,” Iwaizumi said, bashfully. Having finally regained some energy, he sat up, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, a small, crooked smile stuck on his face.

“Sure! Can you stand up?”

“Y-yeah. I’m good,” he said, climbing laboriously to his feet and grinning all the while.

“You need some water?” said Bokuto, almost apologetically as he handed him his water bottle.

“Thanks.” Iwaizumi s accepted the bottle with a shaky hand and took a few swigs. “Listen, Bokuto… I-I know I’ve been kind of a pill… You were totally right and I’m-…I’m really sorry.”

“No worries, man! No worries! It’s all good! I-I totally get it, though. I know I can be a lot to handle sometimes… All the time depending on who you are. Heh… Sorry about that.” Iwaizumi scoffed good-naturedly. “So how about this? I’ll try to rein it in a little, and you ~” Bokuto accented with a vibrating claw at Iwaizumi’s belly – at which the brunet jumped back with a snigger and a half-hearted swat at the offending hand. “Try ta lighten up a little, huh ~?”

“Y-yeah… I think I can do that. Sounds like a deal,” he agreed.

“AWSOME!- Oops… Sorry,” Bokuto finished in a sheepish whisper when he caught Iwaizumi’s deadpanned expression. “So! You’ve still got some pull-ups to finish, yeah?” Iwaizumi gave a sarcastic bark of laughter.

“You really think I’m gonna stick my arms up with you anywhere near me? I don’t think so. Why don’t we just move on…” Bokuto laughed exuberantly, giving him a friendly slap on the back.

“Sure, sure, whatever you want, Iwaizumi!” Bokuto said as he turned to prepare for their next exercise. “I think someone’s afraid of the tickle monster ~.” Bokuto teased, smirking at Iwaizumi over his shoulder. The brunette was still facing away from him, but Bokuto could see that his neck and ears had turned red and Bokuto chuckled, earning a slap on the arm from Iwaizumi. Bokuto grinned wider.

“Shut up.”

#haikyuu!!#iwaizumi hajime #Bokuto Koutarou #tickle fic

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headoverhiddles · 5 years ago

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Spookshow Baby - Rob Zombie x Reader [Smut]

Synopsis: By good luck or connections, you find yourself backstage at a Zombie show, and Rob can’t take his eyes off you.

Requested by @plagued-rat! “Rob and a younger fan meeting at a show and sleeping together or something along those lines.” Hope you like it, hun :)

Notes: The personalities depicted are fictional-- I don’t know them, even though I wish I did.

Is it really that hard to get a beer in this place?

You try to navigate your way through the crowd of people getting their seconds and thirds at the bar when you haven't even had one. You finally get up to the bar, and order your drink. You get a bit of a look from the bartender-- you can't tell if he's judging you, or in awe of you, and honestly? You're okay with either. You'd worn a pretty striking outfit tonight, your favorite that you'd had in the closet lying around for something like this.

It had been an event you'd been looking forward to for months. Your friend Ash has a band, a sort of side project from her main group, called The Haxans. She'd promised you'd be the first to get tickets when they had their first show, and five years later, here you are. Maybe if you had told the bartender you knew the singer, you could've at least gotten your beer faster.

Not only are you excited to support your friend, but her fellow band mate and guitarist, Matt Montgomery, is the current bassist of your favourite rock band. Rob Zombie had been a huge part of your life, since Hellbilly all the way up til now with Celebration Dispenser and the new album coming out sometime this year. You'd never been able to make it to a concert of his yet, as he hadn't played anywhere near you, but you had made no secret of your strong feelings for the front man.

---

You hang back near the tech at the Viper Room, and look around as the band starts their set. This place was said to be a hotspot for ghosts.

"Sweet venue, huh?" a voice behind you asks. You turn, and see a guy in a big straw hat. You feel like the voice is familiar, but you can't really tell with the loud noise.

"Yeah. It's haunted, you know."

The guy laughs. "No kidding." He glances up at the band performing. "That's... kinda fitting."

"Right?" you smile. "Somebody's apparently buried in the basement."

"Jesus. Guess that's why Johnny Depp sold it."

“Or maybe he did it," you laugh, sipping your drink.

"That’s sure a theory. So, what brings you here?" the guy goes on. You're used to the line that guys use on you to flirt, but this guy's still keeping his distance. It's interesting.

"I like their music," you say, "And I'm supporting my friend, Ash."

"Ah, cool. I'm here supporting the other guy, Piggy D. I dig their sound, he's got a great fucking gig here."

"Yeah, totally. Along with working for Rob? Super rad."

"Hm. Yeah." The guy gives a little smile, which you don't see. "See you around, maybe."

"Yeah!" you smile, and when you turn back, the guy's gone. You wish you could place that voice.

---

After the show, you head up to the stage to congratulate your friend. "You were awesome!" you say, giving Ash a hug. She kisses your cheek.

"Yeah?"

"For sure.You guys were both amazing." Piggy D comes over, lifting his guitar strap over his head.

"Hey. Who's this?"

"This is my friend who I said would be coming, (y/n)?"

"Oh yeah." Matt gives a lopsided grin, shaking your hand. "Great to finally meet you. How'd we do?"

"You were great," you assure him. Ash nudges him.

"She's a big fan of Zombie."

Matt's black shadowed eyes light up. "Yeah? Here, I'll send you a pass to come say hi to us backstage. We're playing the area in a couple weeks!"

"Oh god," you blush, "That'd be awesome. Thank you so much."

"No problem." He gives you another smile, then sets his guitar down. "Gotta dash." His eyes ascend over you and Ash. "John, Rita! Thanks for coming!"

Ash pulls you to the side. "Oh my god. You're gonna get to meet him."

"I know." You fan yourself.

"He's really chill, don't worry. He'll love you."

"You think so?"

"Look at you! You're hot as fuck girl, I'd sleep with you if I wasn't taken. He'll go crazy for you."

“Ah. I’m too young for him...”

“You could use a daddy. He’s daddy material. Spookshow daddy for a spookshow baby.”

You smile, and ignore the unlikelihood of that happening. Still-- you've never been so excited.

---

The next Friday night, you find yourself enjoying tickets to the Zombie mosh pit in your home town, backstage pass tucked safely in your back pocket. You're currently waiting for Rob to come out on stage, and are watching the opening band, Palaye Royale.

After the last song of the opener's set, the stage lights begin going crazy, and you hear Rob begin to shout out the beginning of Dead City Radio.

The show is amazing, as you knew it would be. You've never actually heard him talk before, only sing, and when he speaks to the crowd between songs, you can't help but notice how attractive his voice is too. During Get High, Matt notices you, points to you with his pick, and winks.

As everyone cheers after the encore of Dragula and gives the band a good send-off, you slip backstage, coming up to the guards. You show your pass shakily, and they let you through.

"Hey!" Matt calls, and you turn down a long hallway to see the boys coming offstage.

"Best show I've ever seen, hands down," you say, "Other than the Haxans, of course."

Matt laughs, and fist bumps you. Ginger and John walk past you, shooting you friendly smiles. For a metal band, these are a bunch of really good guys. Then Rob comes out, dragging a towel over his face and dreads.

"Fucking high energy crowd!" he exclaims, punching the air as he comes over to you and Matt. "Great night."

"Crowd was on fire. Hey man, this is (y/n)." Matt introduces you.

Rob looks at you for a second, and tilts his head. "Oh yeah. You're the girl I met at the Haxans show, huh?"

You go to say yes, then start to realize how he knows. "You're the guy I talked to!"

"That would be me." He nods, then remembers how much he enjoyed talking to you. It’d be dangerous to see where this went, so after that stunted exchange, he goes to leave. You think of something to turn him around.

"Is that a Creepshow patch?" you ask, finally close enough to his patch jacket to decipher each one. He stops, and looks back.

"Hell yeah. You like Creepshow?"

"Love it!"

"Best one?"

"The Crate."

"Oh, fucking right!" He nods, "I like that crazy hitchhiker one too from the second one..."

"Thanks for the ride lady!" you quote, and he gives a loud belly laugh.

"Damn. You're pretty cool." He rubs his makeup with the towel. "I'm, uh... chilling a bit later tonight at a little after party. Sorry to be a big fuckin' drag, but I'm not one for lots of drinking or anything like Danzig or Manson are. I'll probably bore you to death."

"Then we can be a couple dead people together," you smile, and he smirks down at you.

"Sounds like a plan." He bites his lip, and gives you a once over again. "Follow me."

---

When you get to the party, it's pretty much like he said. He immediately wanders off around the outskirts of the crowd, stopping only to shake a few hands and greet a few people. It's a cool venue-- better than any you'd been to. It's dark, black-lit and monster-themed, with all kinds of pop art and horror memorabilia around the place. It's fitting for the band, and the people who hang out with them.

"Hey, man. Who's the lady?" John whispers in his ear. "Saw her backstage."

"Someone I met the other day. Piggy brought her back."

"She's pretty, huh?"

Rob shrugs, trying as usual to appear noncommittal when in fact he was feeling very committal. "I like her. Figured she may be some fun. Could definitely save me from this party." John shakes his head with a smile, going back over to Rita.

You try and crane your neck to see where Rob went, and are startled by a voice behind you. "Hey, you're the girl from the show, right?" You turn to see that it's Rob's drummer, Ginger.

"Yeah," you smile, "Ginger, right?" He shakes your hand heartily, nearly bruising your fingers with a drummer's grip.

"You can call me Kenny! Hey uh, long shot, do you happen to have a shower curtain anywhere accessible?" You frown, and are about to say no, but Ginger's already sensed your answer by your look of alarm. "No worries, I know who to call for one." He gets out his phone, and starts texting his old boss.

There's Rob. He's hiding in the corner like Dracula, away from the bright lights and people. You walk towards him through the crowd, toward where he's taken a seat on a red couch shaped like psychedelic lips. Rob watches you walk over to him, furrowing his brow. You look fucking good. His breath gets heavier as blood rushes down south. He hasn't wanted a girl this bad in years... much less a fan. Play it cool. She’s young enough to be your daughter, or some shit.

"Dumb party, huh?" he mutters, burying his feelings down deep. You smirk, sitting down beside him and crossing your legs.

"Seems like you really don't wanna be here."

"Well, it's all about the show, you know? What happens afterward is all bullshit, catering to TMZ who peddles articles about stupid shit like drugs and trashing hotel rooms to 15 year olds who read their articles and think that's what being a rock star is all about." You blink. He's not wrong. "But it's uh... it's a lot better with you here." Come on, Zombie. At least try not to be a black hole of negativity for once?

"Don't worry. I'm not really one for parties either. I mean, they're fun sometimes. But sometimes you just wanna be by yourself, you know?"

"Exactly!"

"Or... with someone you'd have a lot more fun with." He glances up. "Wanna get out of here?" you ask, eyes conveying your intentions.

"Let's do it." As you walk toward the exit though, Rob pulls you down a hallway, then out the back door to the alley behind the club.

"You pulling a Lugosi on me, Zombie?" you joke. He smirks.

"You want me to?"

"Are you a vampire?"

He runs a hand through his dreads. "I'm more of a werewolf."

"It's a full moon," you tease, pulling him closer to you. He walks you back against the graffiti'd brick wall, and you part your legs to make room for him.

"You sure you wanna do this?" he murmurs, eyes already falling down to your lips behind his sunglasses. By way of reply, you take his sunglasses off, reach around to stuff them in his back pocket, and bring your lips to his.

Fuck it. His eyes close, and he reaches up to support you properly, urging your to wrap your legs around him as he holds you up. You moan as his ratty jeans provide the perfect grind for you, grazing your inner thighs and grazing where you need him most. His fingers dig into your ass as you reach forward and unzip those jeans, taking out the chunky belt with Svengoolie's face on the buckle.

His head tilts back as you take him in your hand, and fuck, he has to be inside you. You sink your face into his shoulder as he pushes in, and his face twists up. The way he's glaring at you in pure concentration is driving you wild, and the intense eye contact is turning him on too. He bares his teeth, gnashing as he fucks in again rough, making you gasp.

"Ro-ob..." you manage out.

"Whatdya need?"

"That's... ohmygod,that's so good, fuck, that's so good, faster--"

He gets even more rough, almost animalistic as he drops the cool guy act and just goes ape on your body. One of his hands shoves up your top, unhooking your bra with the precision of a master, and dips down to roll the tips of your nipples with his tongue. You cry out, neither of you caring who can hear you. It's as if he's become the demon he performs as, and it's fucking hot.

"Feelin' good, babe?" he growls.

"So good," you sigh, working down on him. He holds you up with one flexing arm as he keeps your wrists pinned with the other, dipping his head down a little again to leave hickies along the juncture of your neck. "I'm close--"

"Come on, baby, come on," he snarls, "Yeah..." You gasp out his name as his heavy thrusts rock you against the wall, tipping you off the edge and ripping you apart.

He watches you cum with the intense gaze of a hellish predator, and pounds you even harder until you're done. When he's sure you're satisfied, he lets you down, and cums against the wall, bracing himself against it with one hand.

You run a hand through your hair, and lean back. "Christ. There are so many puns I could make right now."

"I like puns," he pants, slipping his sunglasses back on, and with them, into his awkward, chilled out self.

"You fuck like a Superbeast." There's silence as you hold in your giggles, and he stares at you, completely deadpan.

"I fuckin’ regret all of this." You let the giggles burst free, and he takes you under his arm, leading you toward the street. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"My torture chamber, for special fans like you."

"I'm not surprised."

"Then maybe, after the torture, we can throw on a movie. Maybe..."

"You got Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine?"

"...Okay, maybe I don't regret this."

He calls his driver, and excitement fills you at the prospect of seeing what his house looks like. Probably as eclectic as the man himself. As the two of you get in, you open your phone to see a text from Ash.

So?????? watchu up to sex kitty

You grin to yourself as you type out a response that's sure to make your friend screech.

Is it necrophilia if I fucked a Zombie...? ;)

#rob zombie #rob zombie x reader #reader x rob zombie #heavy metal #heavy metal fanfiction #bandom #bandom fanfiction #bandom fanfic #rob zombie fanfiction #rob cummings #rob cummings x reader #reader x rob cummings #rob zombie band #john 5 #piggy d #the haxans #ginger fish #not enough fic love on here for the dirty devil man

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thepilgrimofwar · 4 years ago

Text

Bad Influence

Whistling a jaunty tune, Vissehn hip-bumped his way into Stenden’s office. Despite the late hour, he knew the young Lord would be awake. “Goooood evenin’ my fine friend, how is th’Lord of the Emberglades after sucha fine war-meetin?” He waggled a pair of bottles towards Stenden.

Having changed out of the stiff formal wear, he wore a loose grey tunic with the sleeves torn free, exposing the pale copper of his arms and the multitude of freckles, and the musculature that had been gained in the Phoenix Wars. His feet were bare and his hair wild as he closed the distance. Sliding onto Stenden’s desk, he flopped onto his back. “Celebrate wiv me!”

Stenden squinted at his friend, and then sniffed his friend to check exactly how much of his bottle had already been emptied without him. “You’re drunk,” he said, almost redundantly as Vissehn slid across his desk, knocking over miscellaneous papers and stationery of no great importance.

The Lord of the Emberglades considered chiding him for a moment but chose to lean back into his chair instead. “But I suppose today’s proceedings are worthy of some celebrations,” the boy reached out for the other bottle. He had enjoyed his fair share of alcohol in his time, just never straight from the bottle and never unsupervised. But this week had been full of many firsts for him as Lord of the Emberglades. Why stop there?

“I’m not yet piss drunk, so I’ve got aways to go!” He laughed and pushed off another stack of envelopes, cat-like in his destruction. When the bottle was taken from him, though, he crowed and sat up, lifting his own in victory. “Yeah! Yer a Lord now, sometimes ye gotta take the wins when you gottem!”

Taking another pull, he bounced his leg. “There’s gonna be more’n a fair share of moments where there’s naught to celebrate, so we’ll enjoy this one.” He clinked his bottle against Stenden’s. “So, hows a Lordling celebrate wivout his friend Fish around normally?”

Stenden initially takes a sip, then, once that initiation was passed, he took a swig and wiped his mouth on his arm in a manner that he thought what rougher men would do. The look did not fit the soft spoken boy, but it did not stop his enthusiasm. “I don’t, typically.”

He does a small elbow pump at his waist and did a small jig of success, “that’s about it really. Apart from- you know- smiling the rest of the day.” The boy shrugged. “But this is good, an appropriately bigger celebration for a big win.”

Once Judereth came in to meet with him on the morrow, it would be likely that the rebellion would be down to just Arenias himself. Forced to fight on two fronts with Muroco Rockhoof, an esteemed warrior by reputation alone, causing as much chaos as physically possible on one of them. The war had turned in his favour and for the first time in a week, he breathed easy. Anxiety in his chest had begun to loosen its grip on him.

Vissehn grinned at the boyish victory dance, and a laugh poured from him. “D’aww, yer grandmarm’d be proud, you such an unstandin’ young lad as all that.” He snorted and sat up straight, even though it caused the room to spin. “Near enough I reckon, though, yer old enough to be livin’ life the way us -adults- do.”

He waggled his brows, knowing how short the stretch of years between them was. Nevertheless, he made a show of pulling himself to his full height.

“Now, as yer agent I am here for -you- in all ways, so, how’s our Lord of the Emberglades wanna spend his evenin’ of victory?” He laughed delightedly at the sound of the words. “Say it, and it shall be done, assumin’ it don’t require sobriety.”

“Well,” Stenden began, putting in some pre-alcohol induced thought before his senses fully left him. “You climbed through the window here. Think you could make it onto the roof?” The boy paused. “Do you think I could make it onto the roof?” Based on his tumble and shove from a few days prior, he certainly had the training for it. But perhaps not the lack of restraint that had stopped him in the past.

The youths eyes grew wide with delight, pupils blown wide. “Lookie there! Ye do have somethin’ yer age behind those eyes.” He leaned forward and stage whispered. “I have climbed all these roofs, an’ if yer as light an’ quick on yer feet as that shove says you are, well, you too can be King of the Mountain on this here manor.”

Flinging himself off the desk, he almost started for the window before sticking one hand straight up. “Ah!” Turning his back to Stenden so the other youth wouldn’t see exactly where it came from, Vissehn reached between the slim space at the front of his binder and withdrew a small, wrapped object. Traipsing to one of the candles, he lit the end of it and let it hang off his lips as he then bowed to Stenden.

“Lords first, afterall, yer the victor tonight.”

Stenden took another swig from his bottle and then with a small amount of flair, he tucked the drink into the band of his belt and climbed onto the window sill. He reached up, felt a grip at the upper end of the frame, and pulled, clumsily at first.

“How’d you make it look so easy?” His legs dangled at the window, kicking as he lifted himself and got a better grip on the wooden supports of the roof above.

“Practice!” Vissehn stepped in behind Stenden, and offered his shoulder for a boost. “Just put yer hips an’ arse into it, ye’ll get it!” He took a puff of the bloodthistle.

When it seemed the young lord had a good grip, Vissehn slipped under his legs and put one on each of his shoulders, pushing Stenden up higher. “There ye go, just haul yerself up right nice, and we’ll have our victory on the roofs!” He patted Stenden’s thigh as the other moved up.

Once Stenden was most of the way up, Vissehn scrambled after, all ungainly elbows and knees. He was quicker at it, from practice, though the liquor in his veins made him less graceful and more squirmy.

With Vissehn’s help, the boy scampers onto the roof, flopping forward on his belly until he finally lay flat. Stenden then rolled on his back, uncorked the bottle once more and took a big swig while watching the skies above. It was a cloudless night, and though there was a chill of midnight breeze rushing by him, the alcohol kept him warm.

“Victory,” he muttered as he raised his bottle towards the stars.

Vissehn reached to the back of Stenden’s head just as the lad was flopping over, and pulled free the tie holding back his hair. “Come on, yer on a roof with a good bottle and a fair friend, let this go.” He twined the ribbon around his fingers, about to toss it into the wind… before thinking better of it. He slipped the small cloth into his pocket instead and took a swig of his own bottle as well.

Staring up at the stars, he sighed happily. “Now this is the life. Big open sky, good booze, good friend, nothin’ but endless tomorrows an’ new things to come.” He lipped the joint briefly, before plucking it up and offering it towards Stenden.

He squinted at it, then took a deep breath and almost immediately started hacking like a cat with a hairball. It burned at his throat, and reflexively attempted to wash it down with alcohol that simply made the sensation worse. Stenden laughed, coughed, laughed, and hacked again as the alcohol began setting in.

“Indeed!-” he exclaimed between heaves. “This is the life.” Stenden’s hair whipped about him in the wind, and he tucked it over one shoulder to keep it tame. “The future used to scare me. Endless tomorrows had always meant endless dangerous, endless challenges, and endless duty. But this? I could never have predicted this lay in my future. And this isn’t so bad.”

Vissehn snickered at the youths attempt. “Not bad-- your first try?” He took a puff, letting the smoke curl away after a moment, pursing his lips so it made a pretty trail in the air. “Ain’t no reason to fear tomorrow. It’ll come, fear or not, and it only carries promise. You fucked up bad today? You got tomorrow to fix it up. There’ll be challenges, but somethings are wonderful an’ they’re just a moment, somethin’ you’d miss if nothin’ changed.”

Glancing at the younger boy, Vissehn’s gaze softened and he took a long slow drag, letting the bloodthistle burn in his lungs. “And this ain’t so bad at all.”

Humming the tune he’d created, he washed away the burn with the liquor, smacking his lips. “So, Stenden, if this ain’t what you predicted, tell me what future ye saw for yerself the moment Sederis kicked it an’ you were given the Emberglades-- what endless tomorrows did you see afore you that made you so scared of ‘em?”

“With how the war was going at the very start of the Phoenix Wars?” He took a more relaxed breath of the joint, letting it in and then exhaling sharply. “The Alliance marching down the passes, and the Glades arming every man-woman-and-child to resist. Dame Everleigh would not have wanted to cause a massacre, but we’d force one on her. Then, Nelio Goodember possibly ceding to those blue flags in exchange of occupation for peace.”

“That hung over my head for the opening months, until their attention was pulled elsewhere. Then tomorrow brought the risk of famine, as the crops failed from winter. Then the risk of the population growing weary of the war, and rising up in arms.”

“Then after the War ended, tomorrow brought the risk of the war we’re fighting right now. Arenias was always going to move once the war was done. I just had never expected him to be stupid enough to attempt such a thing during my Uncle’s funeral- With all his friends from the Guard present.”

“Hey, tomorrow brought th’worst it could-- grandpap tried to smother ye in the cradle while yer uncle went to th’grave. An’ look how its going for him!” Vissehn jabbed at the air, shifting on the roof as though he were in a boxing match. “Fuckin’ with th’best-- and me-- The Sunguard had to offer, losin’ allies, losin’ neutralities. He’s on the backfoot, an’ you’re pressing the advantage!

His voice changed as he cupped a hand around it, growing higher but threadier-- a goblin announcer voice. “Look, Stenden’s goin’ in for a hook! Arenias takes it like a stiff, and oh Light lookit that footwork from the boy-Lord, by gold, he’s goin’ in for a takedown! Arenias won’t have seen that coming, and there he goes down, down!”

Reaching over, he grabbed Stenden’s arm and made him lift into the air while he slapped the tile roof with his other hand. “One-- Two-- Three!” He crowed, and mimicked a roaring crowd. “And that’s the match, folks, our new Lord of the Emberglades, the golden boy with a heart of fire, pretty as a picture an’ twice as heartless, the one, the only, STENDEN EMBERHEART!”

He roared the name to the night, and then dropped Stenden’s arm as he was wracked with giggles.

Stenden laughed into the night, letting it rise into the night sky without a care in the world. His friend was right of course. So far, his tomorrows have meant new challenges to rise to. New ways to prove himself. At every turn he had been undermined and underestimated. No doubt because they thought he was weak- the boy who’d hide behind his mother’s skirts as a child. But when given the chance to stand on his own two feet- Without Solendis guiding his every move- Without Relriah to shield him from the world- authority seemed to suit him. Though, perhaps not the bloodshed done in his name.

“Viss,” he cut his friend’s name short, as the concoction of alcohol and bloodthistle began to mix and muddle. “You’ll be sticking round after this is over aren’t you? You said you’ll give a pass to a parcel of land when I first asked for your help.”

The youth looked over at Stenden, shaggy hair falling in his eyes as he watched his friend laugh. In the light of moons and stars, Vissehn was written in softer lines, the curve of his smile less biting, the lean length of him rendered young and unfinished rather than the slim assurance of him.

Propping himself up on an elbow, he snorted. “Ye can’t be rid of me that fast, a war ain’t enough to scare the likes of me away. I might have short ears an’ blue eyes but I know a friend when I see one.” He punched Stenden’s shoulder affectionately. “I’m a rover by nature, but I said I could sit a spell here, didn’t I? I meant it.”

He grabbed the bottleneck and shook the remains. “With such a staunch pal as yer ol’ Fish friend, I think I’ve earned the last of this bottle.” Vissehn downed it rapidly, trying to soak in the cool night, the warm burn of liquor in his belly, the presence of Stenden and the chill of the roof beneath.

A life always changed, he knew, and he wouldn’t stop it-- but this moment, he knew, would be precious someday. In the way a sculptor can feel the shape of the masterpiece in the marble, he felt the nostalgia blossom from his thoughts, making the night hazy and gilded while at once being so stark as to cut through all thoughts of anything like tomorrows or the future.

“So long as ye got a space for me, I think I’ll linger on.” Vissehn drawled low and slow. “Just don’t be forgettin to make a space, else you’ll be losing me.”

Stenden watched as his friend downed the last of the bottle, then staring out into the stars. “I will,” he promised- he wished. Not knowing if life would accommodate it. “You’re the first real friend I’ve had Viss. I’d spend the holidays in Dawnveil, playing with the other children of the servants there. But they were always distant the way that acquaintances are since I came and went with the seasons.”

He rolled over to his side and gave a wry smile. “Thank you,” said the Lord of the Emberglades, who had been reminded what it was like to be his age. “You’ve kept me sane in these wild times- and I’m not sure if the manor would be as tolerable without you around to spruce up the place with your spirits.”

After he had said his peace, Stenden finally began to relax again, letting the sombre lows turn back into a contented high as he watched the clouds begin to roll through the night sky. Committing the moment to memory as well. A small respite from the decorum of nobility. A chance to be a boy, even for just a moment.

@retributionpriest @stormandozone @thanidiel

#Epilogue #Stenden

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beerecordings · 5 years ago

Note

ok the box jj bein mean to jackie hc? okay. listen. jameson finally being comfortable around jackie but not realizing that jackie doesn’t own him, he’s not “his.” so at first jameson is like, all over him. jackie says “god i’m so thirsty-“ and jameson is RACING to the kitchen getting him a glass of water. jackie says “i’m so tired” and jameson is hushing everyone and double checking the locks and helping him put his things down. jackie says ANYTHING and jamie is jumping to follow his orders. 1/2

okay i. i have been thinking about this for literal hours i’m. yes. yes. this is so - yeah. yeah. okay let’s do this.

okay so this turned into a damn essay hahaha

Jameson for sure feels like Jackie is just the new Anti. a better Anti, maybe, because Anti used to hit him and yell at him and never loved him like this, yeah, but still the new Anti in the sense that he is in charge, he should take care of Jameson, and Jameson belongs to him. And if he belongs to him, it’s his job to obey him and to try and make him happy.

So Jackie’s like “yayyyy new little brother, new friend! :DD!!!!” and Jameson’s staring up at him like “i’d kill for you, ride or die, tell me to fuck someone up - NO INSINUATE that you want someone fucked up and I’ll DO IT MAN DON’T TEST ME - ”

so right off the bat there’s a lil miscommunication.

and here’s the thing, Jameson’s a clingy little guy with all the others at first, so Jackie doesn’t think much of it when Jameson starts spending a lot of time sitting near to him (guarding) and making most of his requests for things he needs to Jackie (trusting master to caretake) and being a little over-affection with Jackie (trying to make him happy), he’s just a little weirded out by it. but you know you always gotta learn how to love people as they are and Jackie’s willing to let JJ figure this out and help him set boundaries and stuff and he’s not worried or anything.

and then it starts to get obsessive.

Jameson’s losing interest in his other brothers because in his experience another person for Anti to take care of is just a competitor. He starts getting upset when he sees Jackie spending time with the others but not him, and then one day he and Marvin go out for lunch together and Jameson spends the rest of the day in complete panic, terrified that he’s going to starve because he’s not the favorite and there won’t be enough food left for him. Once a cute girl even asks Jameson out, but he tells her no because he’s like... “wait, I belong to Jackie. I don’t think I’m allowed to do that?” Love to him has never been anything but ownership, selling his soul for a full belly and enough affection to keep him alive.

And there’s a part of him that knows it’s stupid!! there is!! there’s a part of him that still thinks Marvin and Chase and Henrik are really cool and great to him and he wants to just chill out and relax and trust that nobody’s going to abandon him on the side of the road or let him starve!! but the part of his brain that’s chanting “survive, survive, survive” has been the hardest-working part for a long time, and it’s strong now, it overrides everything else. so yeah, Jackie sneezes and Jameson’s bringing him a tissue, Jackie trips and Jameson’s giving the floor dirty looks, and Jackie gets hurt?? Jameson still remembers how to be an attack dog. Big brother can’t always be strong, and when he isn’t, you protect him, no matter the cost, no matter the threat to yourself, you protect him. He snaps at Stacy for telling Jackie to watch over Chase (don’t order him around!!) and gets jealous when Jackie kisses his boyfriend (he could take him away!!) and YANKS a scalpel right out of Henrik’s hand when he makes Jackie cry out as he stitches him up (don’t!! hurt!! him!!)

And at that point there’s no more denying that there’s a problem here, and Jackie is mad, because Jameson nearly hurt Henrik, and that’s not how they do things in this house, and Henrik’s not a threat, and then before he knows what he’s doing, he’s shouting, standing tall while Jameson shrinks, and cornering him in the back of the room, and Jameson crumples to the ground and goes right into a panic attack -

Oh, fuck, he’s sorry. Jameson, don’t cry!! ahhhh shit, he’s sorry, he just - “you just - you don’t have to do this!! you don’t have to do any of this!! i’m not trying to own you or control you, I don’t understand why you’re acting like this?? don’t cry, buddy, here, um, your kangaroo puppet! sweetie, just calm down.”

And Jameson is swallowing back sobs, trying desperately to stop, because he upset Jackie, he upset master, and he didn’t mean to, and he was told to calm down, so he needs to calm down, but he can’t, because he’s bad, he’s bad, he’s bad and Jackie isn’t going to want him anymore because he prefers Henrik and he could have hurt Henrik and - and -

He just doesn’t get it.

Shouldn’t Jackie be happy he’s his pet now? Shouldn’t Jackie want that? Can’t he make himself in-disposable if he’s a good little whore and does whatever Jackie needs, without complaint, without protest? Isn’t that how he came out of being Anti’s with his body mostly whole and parts of his sanity still intact? With his heart shattered but pounding, pounding, pounding in his aching chest?

Survive, survive, survive.

It was easy with everybody else, he thinks, almost bitterly. He had Henrik and Marvin and Chase wrapped around his fingers in minutes of coming here. He learned exactly how to get their affection and anything else he needed. He watched the way every single one of them interacted with each other and he took what he needed. Learned to cry like Chase, to put on a tough face like Marvin, to chide like Henrik, so he could, as he chose, make them pay attention to him, laugh at him, feed him, hold him, advise him, protect him, and on, and on. Anything he needed. People are just input = output, and once you learn the buttons to press, you can get anything you want.

That’s all this is supposed to be. Isn’t that what happiness is? Finding people whose buttons you can press, so they keep you safe and whole?

And Jackie’s here looking at him, realizing, “Fuck, Jamie, you don’t even know how to be who you are anymore.”

It sounds harsh as it comes out of his mouth, but maybe it’s true. Jameson puts on personalities the same way he puts on outfits these days. He can no longer tell the difference between real distress and crocodile tears for attention. He didn’t mean to use anybody, it’s just… that’s what you do. That’s what people are for. That’s how you survive, survive, survive.

“James,” says Jackie, and he’s never called him that before, it’s only ever been Jamie. “James, you gotta start trusting that I’m not going to throw you out if you show me who you are. If you aren’t convenient to me all the time. If you have more complex needs than a hug and enough to eat. You’re not my pet, Jameson. You’re my brother. My friend. My equal. You don’t have to earn my love, do you know that? You have it. You’ve always had it. When Anti had you, and you were all alone in the world, and your hands had already done horrible things, you had my love then. That has never changed and never will.”

And Jameson’s sitting there crying and apologizing, over and over again, and fuck, he realizes he’s holding the kangaroo stuffy in front of his face to remind Jackie that he belongs to him, instead of holding it for comfort, and Jackie just gets down on his knees with him and hugs him tight, tight, tight, and pushes that kangaroo to his chest, and holds Jameson for as long as it takes, cause “you’re not a toy or a pet and I’m never going to hurt you, do you understand, I am NEVER going to hurt you, break my heart and I will still be here waiting to keep you safe, just like that time Henrik broke my favorite headphones and I still made him breakfast the next day - ”

and Henrik goes “HEY” and Jameson snorts and hides his face in Jackie’s shirt. and for once it doesn’t actually feel like “hell yes I’ve earned some affection!! hell yes I’m in his good books so he’ll take care of me!!” it’s kind of just like “this is Jackie and he loves me.”

it’s a start, you know? he has a lot to learn and sometimes the world still feels like a board game where survival is the goal and everybody else is just a card you can play. but he doesn’t want to use anyone. love is better when it’s real.

and damn, but Jackie really does love him.

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aaronhart93-archive · 5 years ago

Text

discord II text Roman & Aaron

Discord thread featuring: Aaron and @romanbeckett

Mentions: @davieslandon @malakhai-ozera @jayceelynd @alison-haynes

Where: Aaron is at his house and Roman is at his house.

When: evening of May 26th-monrning of May 27th, 11:30p-2:30a

Description: Roman texts Aaron and they talk all night until they both fall asleep

Trigger Warnings: smut, what I would imagine harry’s peen to look like, really cute shit

Roman.

Hey.

Aaron.

Roman.

Khai broke up with me, so. With us.

with Jay and I. And he left.

Aaron.

oh my god...im sorry Ro

Roman.

Can’t say I didn’t see it coming.

Aaron.

what did he say? Like why...?

Roman.

He told us that he loved us but needed time to work on himself or whatever.

Aaron.

I don’t know Khai that well but it does seem like he’s got a lot of shit to figure out

how are you doing with it?

and jayc? Should I reach out to her or....does she not know we’re talking

Roman.

you can talk to her if you want. I think we both just don’t really know how to feel to be honest.

Aaron.

im sorry

i hope he's okay

and i hope you and Jayc are okay too

Roman.

don’t be lol honestly Aaron, I set myself up for it the second I agreed to close myself off, knowing all of the issues I need to work through as well

contrary to popular belief, I’m far from having it all figured out.

Aaron.

that makes two of us

that was quick tbh

Roman.

Yeah. I just feel like an idiot.

Aaron.

what no....thats not what i meant

Roman.

anyway.

how are you

Aaron.

okay....no please dont feel like an idiot. its his fault not yours

im....okay....getting better than i was last week

miss you though not gonna lie

Roman.

I miss you, too. A lot.

Aaron

im sorry

idk why i am i just feel like i need to apologize

Roman.

you have nothing to be sorry for lol at all

if anything, I’m sorry.

for bringing you into all this drama

and making you eat at a Chinese buffet lol

Aaron.

making me eat at a Chinese buffet is the only thing you have to be sorry for

also

i inserted myself into this mess as well. and didn't pull out once i realized who you were to landon

Roman.

does it make me immature if I laugh at you saying you didn’t pull out once?

Aaron.

YES BUT IM HERE FOR IT

Roman.

I might just be high, but now I can’t stop laughing lol

Aaron.

sksjks

im sober and laughing so

well not sober

i had a few drinks

Roman.

everyone knows you’re a lightweight Aaron, stop tryin’ to be sly lol

Aaron.

who you callin a lightweight, lightweight?

Roman.

only when I haven’t eaten anything LIGHTWEIGHT

Aaron.

https://tenor.com/view/uncalled-gif-5394176

michelle tanner voice

Roman.

You miss me. Just a reminder.

Aaron.

you miss me

another reminder

Roman.

I’m not the one calling you rude lol

Aaron.

you called me out for being a lightweight and i retaliated

forgive me

Roman.

you’re in denial is what you are :fingerguns2:

but I’ll forgive you.

Aaron.

idk you'd think for how much i drink i'd have a higher tolerance

i need therapy

Roman.

probably lol I’ll go with you

Aaron.

lol couples counseling?

Roman.

I actually think it would be quite funny to see what they have to say about US

Aaron.

i need a therapist to tell it like it is

then again i do have ali

that woman calls me out on my shit literally daily

maybe shes just a free therapist

Roman.

LMAO that’s...amazing. I like her already.

Aaron.

she do be driving me up a wall

but

shes family

Roman.

Ah, family. I’ve been trying to get my sister here, but she’s being an ass lol

Aaron.

asshat

who wouldn’t want to move to New York

Roman.

satans demons.

Aaron.

exactly

whats keeping her from coming?

Roman.

she’s not as hellbent on big cities as I am lol

Aaron.

weird

city life has always been for me

arent you from manchester? is that not a big city?

Roman.

it’s not New York lol

she lives in the country now though.

Aaron.

no city is new york

Roman.

exactly lol

Aaron.

what are you doing

besides getting high

Roman.

I’m naked on the couch eating cherry gilato while watching good mythical morning on YouTube

Aaron.

i would very much like to be naked on a couch with you

Roman.

I painted my nails and did a facial first lol i could do yours as well

Aaron.

ill take the facial

i couldn't pull off the nails though

Roman.

you’d look so kickass with some black nails

Aaron.

you think?

Roman.

hell yes. Even a sky blue, like those eyes

Aaron.

i blush

maybe we can try the toe nails first

in case I end up hating them

Roman.

OH, I’m also trained in Swedish massage, head to toe. If you want a personal spa day

Aaron.

that would just give me a boner

Roman.

well, it’s a FULL body massage after all.

Aaron.

sksjsks

dont tempt me

Roman.

Aaron. I just.

is it bad that I don’t want to stay away from you anymore?

that’s a dumb question

I know it’s bad.

Aaron.

its not dumb

I don’t want to stay away from you either

but I promised Landon

Roman.

I know. So did I.

You’re right, I’m sorry.

Aaron.

he’s my best friend

dont be sorry

im glad you’re being honest with me

I just don’t see Landon being okay with this anytime soon

Roman.

I know! I know. He’s mine too, and I care about him more than I care to admit. I shouldn’t be like this.

Aaron.

damn this is fucked up

Roman.

I shouldn’t have said anything

Aaron.

I wish this could be easier

im the one that started with the boner references

Roman.

Not really. I offered you a massage

Aaron.

okay yes but

I told you I wanted to be naked with you

Roman.

because I said I was naked

Aaron.

I just don’t want you blaming yourself that’s all

Roman.

I know, but it is what it is. I made a mess of everything, and now everything I had is ruined lol I deserve it.

Aaron.

I’m sad you think so little of yourself

Roman.

I don’t. It’s just consequences. I made bad decisions, and now I have to deal with the consequences. That’s all. It’ll all be okay.

Aaron.

I wish I could make you feel better

Roman.

you already do. I promise.

Aaron.

I just smiled

Roman.

show me?

Aaron.

sure

Roman.

omg bad idea my heart

Aaron.

oop

Roman.

you’re so fucking jahshsbzjdndjendj

Aaron.

AKDJDJAKALhdja

Roman.

I’m mad at you

for looking like that

Aaron.

Well i can’t stop thinking about u

Roman.

let me just

Aaron.

yeah I kept drinking

and as we’ve established I’m a lightweight

okay I showed you a selfie now you should be a selfie

Roman.

oh yeah? Trying to boss me around again are ya?

Aaron.

do what daddy says

Roman.BOTToday at 2:02 AM

yes daddy.

Aaron.

brb gotta go jack off

Roman.

stoppppp

Aaron.

not kidding

Roman.

you don’t need a better picture than that to do the deed

??? Lolll

Aaron.

I mean....you could send me some

Roman.BOTToday at 2:09 AM

Does this help?

Aaron.

holy fuck

ugh I wanna fuck you so bad

and put all of you in my mouth

Roman.

I want it too. I shouldn’t, but I do. I want you to fuck me with my hands tied behind my back, and you pulling on my collar from behind.

Aaron.

fuck don’t put those thoughts in my head or I’ll act up

I wanna tie you up so bad

and punish you for being so naughty

Roman.

I’d want to call out your name so loud, but you’d have to let me.

Aaron.

you can’t do anything without my permission

Roman.

I’ll do my best daddy. You know I like to make you proud.

Aaron.

Ro I just came into a sock so hard

I want you so bad but the fact I can’t have you makes that even hotter to me

Roman.

forbidden fruit, hm?

Aaron.

you’re my forbidden fruit for sure

Roman.

wish I could have been there to help

Aaron.

you did enough helping trust me

Roman.

are we terrible people lol

Aaron.

I know

we are

im trying though

so that’s gotta count for something

Roman.

I hope it does, for both our sakes lol

Aaron.

if this doesn’t work out we can always be together in hell

Roman.

that sounds like a rightful ending

at least I’ll be tan.

Aaron.

we’ll both be hot and tan chilling in hell together

and we can fuck all we want

Roman.

sounds like the next big Netflix series.

Aaron.

could you imagine a Netflix series about us

Roman.

no, I’m scared to lol it would be more insane than Tiger King

Aaron.

you think our lives are more insane than Tiger King?!?

Roman.

scary, right??

Aaron.

thats definitely...quite the comparison

Roman.

I would have loved to have seen your face watching it for the first time

Aaron.

watching that together would have been so fun

I can picture us watching that and freaking out together

Roman.

maybe one night we’ll trip acid and watch it again

Aaron.

confession I’ve never tripped before

Roman.

whaaaaaa

do it with me!

Aaron.

I mean yeah I used to do a lot of coke when I got drunk and sometimes still do but that been the extent of my drug use

hahaha I will trip with you, Roman Beckett

Roman.

aces! Just tell me when and where, and it’s a plan!

Aaron.

”aces”

but yeah let’s do it this weekend

Roman.

I’m British you knob. Shut up lol

Aaron.

I know MATE I was making fun of you

Roman.

sends long audio clip making fun of Aaron’s New York accent

Aaron

brooooo

I do say that though

Roman.

I know, I’ve listened to you talk enough

it’s cute though

ready for bed?

Aaron.

just about

I was gonna go to bed a while ago but wanted to keep texting you

Roman.

same.

tuck me in lol

Aaron.

do u want me to tell you a bedtime story

Roman.

yes, but make it snappy

and I want warm milk

Aaron.

damn

so bossy

but okay

Roman.

you know I’m spoiled.

Aaron.

that must’ve been my fault

okay Des like this one:

By the African river, know as the Nile The sun fell away and it rested a while The rhinos had braved all the smoldering heat They lay down to sleep as they wiped off their feet The elephants marched to their elephant beds And gently they rested their elephant heads Slowly the hippos sank into the river The water so cold that it gave them a shiver (Hippos can't swim, like the pelicans think They also can't float, they could easily sink) The hippos went bathing in cool, shallow pools Thinking the rhinos and elephants fools Underwater, they fell to the soft river bed On darkish green plants with a smidgen of red They strolled on the bottom, then bounced up for air They did it for hours, without any care The fish followed closely, and wove in an out Under their belly, and up to their snout Each of the hippos came up to the shore To feed on the grass by the river once more They dried off their bodies by shaking and stomping And took bites of grass, chewing and chomping With night fading fast, they were full from the feast The sun returned back, rising up form the east The hippos crept off to collapse for the day While rhinos and elephants got up to play Enjoying the warmth of the sun and its light Never knowing the story of hippos at night

just read it in my New York accent you’re so good at

goodnight Lois

Roman.

that was perfect. Goodnight Clark.

#discord #roman #text

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nomorevanillabeanicecream · 5 years ago

Text

no more vanilla bean ice cream

they were out of vanilla bean ice cream, they had vanilla, french vanilla, sweet cream vanilla and cheesecake vanilla, but not vanilla bean, when did everyone all of a sudden get into vanilla bean, everyone was a pig they could not care less about the bean in the vanilla or not, but now apparently everyone was into vanilla bean ice cream because last week there was a full row of umpqua vanilla bean ice cream and now there was none

so I’m waiting in line at safeway with my subpar vanilla ice cream after I had gone on a much needed quarantine run right after spending two hours texting my friend and she was telling me about how google owns all the data in the world and not only has enough data to know me better than myself, but since they know everyone else’s data too, they know my friends data so they know me in context, the whole thing was very depressing so depressing i didnt even want to use a period in my writing anymore because what the fuck was the point of punctuation anyway in this world, i would still be nice and use commas, just to give my fingers a break and be able to get a thought in or so.

i guess i could also accommodate for paragraphs break at visually appropriate times, it didn't matter if it was contextually appropriate or not, i was going to drop a paragraph break because i know people like paragraphs, charles dickens and dostoevsky and jane austen and leo tolstoy never made paragraph breaks that's why no one ever read their books, people just say they read them to seem smart but they never really read them they just knew it was the right thing to say that they were literary geniuses because their books were so long, see people like to lie and say they know the work of a great author even though they only read a few quotes by them, but that was enough to say good and bad things about writers without ever knowing what the hell they did, few understand the theory of relativity but everyone calls einstein a genius.

the thing about quarantine was that at this point i had gotten used to seeing very few people in my life and i was enjoying it so whenever i had to go to the supermarket i had to see all these people and boy were they gross, maybe i would not have seen them as so gross if had gotten my vanilla bean ice cream but i had not so, they were gross, they were all getting so fat, and fat in like weird ways, not like fat on the sides like the michelin tire guy or a cute belly like the pillsbury dough boy or like that kinda funny superfat like homer simpson or peter griffin they were just gross fat, like it looked like they had just been eating garbage and watching netflix fat, like this one guy seemed like if you got a pillowcase filled it up with hot lard and then poked two pool cues on the bottom of it, this other lady looked like a minifridge emptied into a potato sack.

the asses were the worst part, it was kinda hot so everyone was wearing shorts and it was not appropriate when they wear shorts always have that like red line right under the shorts and it does not look that great, the oddest one was the skinny ass but with fat legs, i did not get that one, the person would have no ass mass at all but then the legs were super fat i did not understand what they were doing to get their bodies to look this way, a lot of people were also walking around with wedgies, a lot of people were also walking around in pajamas covered in animal hair and it was gross, its like you have nowhere to go, you are all complaining about not having the right to go out, so when you do go out why not maybe spruce things up, honour life, honour your fellow human, no, screw that we are all going to behave like the whole entire public sphere is a big ass pijama party,

the whole facemask thing, wait before, i start talking about the facemask thing, everytime i start a new paragraph, google is trying to force me into capitalizing the first letter, it doesn't even ask me if i want to capitalize it, it just goes ahead and does it, google is such an presumptuous douche sometimes, now when i write in gmail, it autocompletes all my sentences, great so we can all sound like robots, and it does it like automatically, so i ending having to erase the lame sentence it wrote, i mean i would have probably come up with something similar or exactly the same too, after all there are only so many ways to say goodbye, but id like to think it was my idea, these engineers had no savoir faire, just so you know, so now i hope that everytime you start to read a new paragraph you imagine me hitting the backspace button to delete their fascist capital letters, and its frustrating because im really trying to write as fast as i can, i bet you can tell

see it happened again, and its not that i just have to hit the delete, i have to get my mouse and put my cursor there so it like detects its not just on mistake i am trying to delete their smartass capital letter, so yeah to the facemask thing, the whole facemask thing was pretty dumb, i mean if the facemask was the windshield to the coronavirus i didnt get how casual people were being about, they would just pull it right down under their noise, oh great now you have all your coronavirus on your nostrils, what the hell, i didnt get it, im pretty sure noone in that safeway store had coronavirus, and it was coronavirus not covid19, what is it about us having to find dandy little names for things, it was the coronavirus and thats that, so yeah we were all carrying about these facemasks that if they were really protecting us from the coronavirus lingering in the air then we were being flagrantly irresponsible in our use, but deep down we all felt it wasnt, but we just had to wear one because it was the rule, but we all knew noone in the store had coronavirus

it may sound weird, but i think you know when someone has coronavirus, its like you can just tell, you know like other things you can just tell about a person, i remember i once went up to san francisco about a month ago, and i saw this guy on the muni line headed to the bayview that for sure had coronavirus, he wasnt coughing or anything, but i saw him and i knew he definitely had coronavirus, it wasnt because he was black or chinese or anything, this isnt like a hidden racist joke, i could just tell, i freaked out , and i havent gone up to the city since then, and then, lo and behold they announced that a muni driver got the corona and that the bayview district had the most corona cases in the cities, see sometimes you can just tell

im pretty sure that day i even had the corona on me, i mean i didnt get it, but im pretty sure it landed on my hand, but i washed it before i touched any of my mucous parts, but it was there with me, i dont think it was from the guy on the bus thought, i think it landed from this other guy, i went to a deli to buy water, bananas, coca cola and chocolate and this guy was kinda drunk and talking real loud and coming real close and i could feel the air get really moist when he passed by me and my hand was exposed and i know that at that moment some of it got on my hand, but i didnt panic, i knew i couldnt lose my cool, i had to just play it smooth, and wait till i could get to the studio and wash my hand and everything else, i was really thorough i walked the whole way back to the studio with my hand outstretched so it wouldnt touch my jacket or anything, i could feel it was there, it was for sure there, but i played it cool and washed it and nothing happen, but i was that close

and thats why you have to wash your hands because you could be that close too to having coronavirus, so see im not that crazy, that the reason they recommend us all to wash our hands, because at some point it could be that close to you, and if you don't wash your hand before your touch your eye, boom you got coronavirus, crazy to think that you too could have had coronavirus on you, and you could have, but now i think there isnt that much coronavirus on things anywhere, i think the coronavirus is like hiding or something, i think the coronavirus are like finding their niches and stuff, like if you ask me i think the coronavirus right now is probably somewhere where the sun dont shine, i bet it like flew to a a dirty dive bar that was totally shut down windows boarded and everything, but its there just chilling on the sticky counter, waiting to come back in the summer, i also think it might be at like some nasty to-go food place, like there is this wing place open till midnite around my house, i bet there is a little coronavirus there, but only a little bit, and its like one of the lazy ones, so i dont think it feels like jumping on anyone

at work i have to tell the staff how to wash their hands, i tell them they have to wash on top of their hand, palm of their hand, each finger, in between fingers, under the finger nails, and up to the elbow, but i mean if they have coronavirus, and their touching my food, i think its going to get on the to go box anyway, but its the rules so i play along, i even translated the rules, and told them to sign a paper, the paper also said that they had to wear a facemask, its not like they have multiple facemasks, i mean we are going to give them a few, but its up to them to wash it, one guy asked me if he could use the same one for a few days, i told him no, but i mean even if he washes his facemask before work and then lets say he puts it in his pocket, what if his jacket has corona but his facemask doesnt, itd be a real shame if his corona jacket infected his noncorona facemask, but i saw him and i dont think he had corona anyway

im repeating the same point and the rant is losing steam, so i gotta ramp it back up, or maybe no, maybe its not all just about ranting, maybe i should tell you some good things, like ill tell you about my run, the day was so nice, it was bright and sunny, and thats really all i gotta say, the point that i have more to say about right now is that i feel like im writing like that kid from catcher in the rye, that kid was a real case, i cant say i disliked the kid, but i wouldnt hang out with him, i mean in general i wouldnt be hanging out with high schoolers, but i might hang out with him after he grows up, i think we were all like that kid at some point, and the ones that arent, are soul dead and just go to work and drink craft beer and probably become those engineers without savoir faire that figure out the code to finish my email sentences

but i also feel that i am writing likes james joyce in ulysses, those are two books that i read from cover to cover ulysses and catcher in the rye, all it takes is a good fucked up guy to write something honest and you can get me to finish it, james joyce was all about stream of consciousness, crazy to think that ulysses is regularly named the best book of the century, and it wasnt even that bad of a century for books, it was a crazy book, and it was daring and new to just expose how he felt a person thought, and i mean it was pretty smart, because that is how we think, we jump around and we get nervous and self conscious and horny and we think in simple letters, and our memories associate things weirdly, i mean dante was the best writer of all the time, but i dont know anyone that thinks inside their brain in metered stanzas, if there was such a person, i dont know if id like to meet him, it would be a lot to handle good novels have taught me a lot, they've confused me too, but overall taught me things, see life is a grey thing, like there arent absolute values,

for us human beings, its easy to think of things as black and white, good and bad, yes or no, but thats not how it goes, there is a lot of grey area, and thats why i guess i liked ulysses, see the whole book is about this guy that is roaming around dublin, while he knows his wife is cheating on him, the last chapter is a stream of consciousness from his wifes mind, in which she just goes through her mind thinking about her past lovers and this guy she is cheating on her husband with, and ultimately she feels bad and when her husband climbs back into bed with her, shes like thinking oh there he is again, old leopold, but hes my leopold and she i guess kinda does admit to loving him, life hurts like that sometimes, a woman can still love you but cheat on you, a man can do it too, anyone can cheat on you, but still love you, anyone can hurt you and still love you, its a rough reality, remember i wrote an essay on this book, and the teacher said that i should save it and give it to the woman i marry it was so good, i didnt save it so i guess that wont ever happen, i cant even remember what i said, probably something about forgiveness and the abstract beauty of love, i was only twenty, i could have said anything

i wish i could remember what i wrote though, nowadays a lot of people are walking around with fear of intimacy issues, they are scared to open up to people, you know a lot of people are saying that they have intimacy issues, so i wanted to figure out more, i looked it up on wikipedia and it said there were four types of people, normal people that love themselves and can share intimacy with others, people that think themselves unworthy of intimacy but seek it, people that are scared of being intimate with others out of fear of rejection, and people that have self worth but think others are undeserving of intimacy, i think the whole thing probably comes from parental stuff, that's always the freudian way of looking at things, its kind of a shame because i think people really do like laying in bed and talking comfortably with someone after a wild fuck, when i wrote the essay i didnt have intimacy issues, but i might now, i dont know, and even if i did i dont know what type of of person i am, i guess sometimes people do say some stupid things, and stupid things out of a naked person are the worst kind of stupid things, whatever its wikipedia, anyone could have written, just like the original science study it supposedly based on,

ok this all getting too gooey and it lost its sharp vibe, i think that we were on a roll, when we were on the coronavirus landing places part, but then i get too serious and stuff, i do still want to talk about books i like, you know like thats one of the favorite things english teachers like to do, they like to analyze all the references that an authour made to other books, normally its the bible or the odyssey or some other greek or roman classic, like ulysses was modeled after the odyssey, i remember the teacher always talked about that, ive never read the odyssey or the iliad, ive heard they are great books, but i try not to say it myself, i do say that homer was a great poet though, but i never read his stuff, i mean ive read the first line, but i dont know the whole story or anything, i guess we are all hypocrites at some point or another, i do know however that ulysses was in one of dantes circles of hell, because he was advisor to deceit, the deceit of having that big horse full of soldiers go into to troy, so he ended up in hell, talking about hell that was another book they loved to reference, the bible, the bible doesnt see things grey, they see it black or white, this morning i woke up at four in the morning, and i couldnt get back to bed, so i pulled to a random spot and started reading proverbs, they make it seem so simple, this is good, that is is bad, i wish it were that simple, it used to be that simple like that when i was little kid, maybe it still is but, i just refuse to see it that way

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crazyrandomfucker · 5 years ago

Text

Adrien Augreste: Kitty

"Dude, you've gotta calm down" said Nino putting a hand on his shoulder.

"But what if something goes wrong Nino? I wouldn't know what to do!" said Adrien as he began once more to walk up and down in the hall.

"Man, you seriously need to chill" said Alen. "The same goes for you Mar".

"I've never been an uncle before! I don't know what to do! It's not my fault!" said Marin.

"Good grief, get a hold you two!" said Cleón. "Thank kwamis that the girls aren't here because you're being ridiculous, seriously ridiculous".

"Says the one who spent nine hours yesterday to research about babies" pointed Sebastián. "You can't precisely tell them that Honey".

"Oh but I agree with our so loved Honey bun" said Alen teasing the newly wed couple.

"Shut it Césaire, you still haven't told us what does the fox say" replied Cleón.

"Everybody, please, let's calm down a bit" said Nino trying calm the rest.

"But I can't be there for her! I'm her brother for Tekke's sake!" said Marin.

"And I'm her husband! You can't be there if I'm not!" replied Adrien.

"Does anyone remember that she specifically told us, the boys, to leave the room?" pointed Sebastián.

"But what if something happens to her? Or to the baby? Or worse!" panicked the former model.

"The girls are with her, don't worry about that" remembered him Nino.

"But why can the kwamis be there but not us? Some of them are also boys!" complained Marin as he realized that fact.

"They are also all powerful beings with some milenias of experience" pointed Alen.

"Bro, Mar-man, you two have to chill down a bit seriously" said Nino.

"Easy to say when it's not your wife who is about to give birth! What if she has already given birth?! I can't stand this uncertainity!" said Adrien freaking out.

"Calm down tiger, she is giving birth right now" said Plagg as he and the other male kwamis phased through the door.

"How is she? Is she doing well?" asked Adrien worried.

"Yes, I can feel that she and the baby are perfectly fine. Well, apart from the pain of giving birth, everything is good" informed Pellet.

"Why are you here now little dudes?" asked Nino.

"Marinette asked us to leave the room as well. She seemed worried that you would probably cause a ruckus" explained Wayzz.

"Wait, where's Tekke?" asked Marin.

"He's inside, Marinette asked him to stay. Probably because he's the kwami of creation. Maybe because ladybugs are supposed to represent good luck" said Plague as she phased through the door.

"Is that why you're here?" asked Cleón.

"Nah, I was done with the drama" said Plague nonchallantly.

"Then you probably won't like it here either. I didn't knew they were such drama queens" said Trixx laughing.

"We're not that bad" complained the boys.

"Ugh, foxy's right, I'm leaving" said Plague and phased again through the door.

The hall fell into silence. Adrien and Mari had already been married for a whole year now, and that baby was like a treasure for them. Despite how unusual was to be an only child, they weren't expecting twins like it was normal, but they were very happy and excieted to the new addition to the family. And let's face it, their friends and siblings were also excited for the baby. They already had like twenty babysitting offers and Adrienne was likely to stole their child in a regular basis. Eventhough, noone knew the gender of the baby as the couple had decided it to be a surprise for eveyone, including themselves. Though, the kwamis were awfully close to Mari's belly and they probably had phased at least once to see the baby.

With each minute that passed, the boys grew more nervous in the silent hall. The kwamis, used to expierence this kind of things, were smiling at the sight of their distressed holders, who were no longer the young teenagers they had first met, but they sometimes still acted like they were fifteen again, specially when they all were together like this. But they couldn't help it, after all, even the kwamis acted as if they hadn't changed after all those millenias when they were together.

Some minutes laters, the doctors finally came out of the room with a gentle smile on their faces, as if they had just seen something precious. They told the boys that they had to wait a bit more until the nurses finished cleaning and checking up the baby before they were told to enter, but the kwamis entered the room regardless, filled with curiosity. Minutes later, the nurses came, told the boys that they could enter and warned them not to stress the baby or Mari too much. Once the nurses were gone, the boys looked at each other nervously and entered the room.

"Hello" said Adrien awkwardly as he knocked on the door.

"Come in sunshine, you have to see this cute, adorable, precious little cinnamom roll" said Alya as she opened the door.

Inside the room, the girls were surrounding Mari and oogling and fawning over the baby Mari was holding in her arms. Marinette looked a bit tired, but aside from that, she looked as radiant and beautyful as always. The boys quietly approached to get a better view of the baby and Adrien sat in a chair next to Mari, smiling as he finally accepted the fact that he was now a parent. He leaned and kiss Marinette's forehead, gazing at her and their baby with a lovefull gaze.

"Hey there Buggaboo. Are you alright?" asked Adrien now calmer than before.

"Everything's okay mon minou. Do you want to know your kitty?" asked MRinette as she passed the baby to him.

Adrien held the baby carefully, as if it was made of glass. "Wow... This is..."

"Miraculous. Isn't it Chaton?" said Marinette with a smile.

"Yeah" said Adrien, not looking away from the baby.

"Congrats man, you're officially a father. Now you can make dad jokes for real" teased Alen.

"Please don't encourage him" begged Marin. "He's been doing them for years already" said the bugboy, making everybody laugh.

"Now I need to know. Is it a boy, or a girl?" asked Cleón.

"It's a boy" answered Nina. "The most precious boy I've evere seen".

"Have you thought a name for him already?" asked Nino.

"I could very much answer that one" said Alya with pride.

"Mari has had the name since Lyceé, but I also love the name" said Adrien. "Isn't it, our little Hugo?"

"You realize how much are we going to spoil him right?" said Alya.

"I wouldn't expect anything else Alya" said Mari laughing.

"I'm going to bake him so many treats" said Adrienne.

"I'll make sure she doesn't end up overfeeding him" assured Marin.

"Very well, I think it's time now" said Chloe, getting curious looks. "It's time to let them some privacy and rest. They surely have to talk, or at least, open all the baby's presents".

" I totally forgot about those" said Adrien.

"We'll leave for today then, but tomorrow we're so going to kidnap little Hugo" said Nina.

Everybody left the room and Adrie looked at Mari smiling. She gave him a smile and told him to give her the baby and open the presents for their kitten. Their friends have been very thoughtful when choosing the presents. Most of them were things like baby bottles, plushies for the baby, baby toys, stuff they would need, ... But Adrien burst into laughs when he saw Nino's and Alya's present. They had given them a full set of cat-themed baby clothes, including a onesie that had a hoodie with cat ears in it. He laughed, thinking that indeed, Hugo was their kitten, their so loved kitty.

#miraculous au #miraculous fanfic #miraculous ladybug #twins!au #adrien augreste

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thefandomlesbian · 6 years ago

Note

I’m your fan girl gal. And even if you’ve changed your mind about getting married, I understand.. But a 26 off the latest prompt list of some foxxay would surely ease my pain. 😉

Meet me at the chapel Sunday morning 9 am sharp. I'll bring the minister if you bring the rings.

This is the crackiest, most scattered, OOC thing I think I have ever written. It wound up getting derailed from the original prompt. Oh well. Prompt 26: Jealous kiss.

(Some scenes featured were shifted forms of a conversation from the coven Discord with @druish--princess @its-a-goode-day ad @gaia-ki)

Misty should have known better than to take advice from Madison. In fact, she did know better. Regarding any other subject, and even regarding this if Nan wouldn’t have seen fit to tell everyone what was going on inside her head, she would have stuck her fingers in her ears and kept right on walking.

“Who’s the best fuck you ever had?” Madison asked, after Misty had answered the question truth or dare.

Rolling her eyes, she amended, “Dare.”

Queenie waved her off. “Hey, hey, hey! You can’t change it! Answer the truth!”

“Tell me, Swampie. Best fuck. It’s okay if it was an animal. We all need a good dicking sometimes.”

Swallowing hard, Misty tried to think of a good lie, but before she could produce anything, Nan said, “Leave her alone, Madison! She hasn’t been with anyone.”

Face flaming, Misty whirled on Nan. “Can you not?” she hissed.

The damage was done. It was too late. Madison knew her secret, and Madison wanted to fix it--where “fixing it” entailed getting her laid. Two days later, she found herself fixed to the toilet seat with magic as Madison jerked her hands through her curly hair. “Let me up! Let me go!” She wriggled until the scorching flat iron came close enough to her face for her to feel the heat waves radiating off of it. She pinched her eyes closed tight, nearly expecting Madison to lay the whole iron across her face.

“Chill. This is step one in a multi-faceted plan. I’ve got a black dress with your name on it. Tonight, we’re going clubbing, and you’re leaving with a man.”

Her hair sizzled as it fell away from her face. “Did Nan tell you everything?” she asked, lip curled with annoyance, “or did she just tell you half of it?”

“I don’t know. What’s the rest of it?”

Rolling her eyes skyward, Misty curled her toes into the bath mat. “I ain’t even certain I like men,” she mumbled.”

“Oh. Well, that simplifies things.”

“It does? ‘Cause it seems to me it makes them a lot more difficult, personally.”

A few hours later, when she walked into her bedroom wearing nothing but a towel after her shower and found Kyle sitting on her bed equally naked, she should have known Madison was at the root of the problem. “Kyle? What in the hell are you doing in here?” He stood up and walked to her, towering like a serial killer in one of those movies, and she turned to leave the room at a brisk trot. “Madison!” The door slammed shut and locked. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Maddie! Maddie!” She rattled the door in its frame, but the lock had wedged itself shut, pinned by magic. “I didn’t agree to live at Hogwarts! For the love of god! Zoe! Queenie! Nan! Somebody come let us outta here!”

Kyle settled a warm hand on her bare shoulder and turned her around. “It’s okay,” he said. “I won’t hurt you.”

“Oh, like hell you will.” Her back struck the wall, and her eyes flared wide. Kyle leaned down and kissed her. His erect penis poked her in the stomach. It made her belly flip--not in a pleasant way, but in a nauseating way which made her fear she would vomit. She put a hand on his chest, and he stopped. “Kyle,” she said in a low, husky voice, “I care about you as my friend, but if you touch me with that thing again, I will cut. It. Off.”

The lock popped and swung open to reveal Zoe. “Misty? Are you okay? I heard you--”

Her screaming filled the entire house at the sight of Kyle holding Misty against the wall, both of them naked as jaybirds. Misty fumbled for her towel at the sound of footsteps on the stairs racing upstairs. “What are you doing? Get away from my boyfriend!” Zoe shrieked. The window vibrated with the force of her magic, and then it shattered, spilling glass everywhere and allowing the breeze to sail through Misty’s room.

“Zoe--it ain’t what it looks like--” Misty slipped out from under Kyle’s arm and stepped behind him, using him as a human shield between herself and Zoe. He was tough. He could take it.

Madison’s head was the next to appear at the door. “Awesome! It worked!”

She turned back to give Nan a high five, but Nan shook her head. “I told you it was a bad idea.”

“It didn’t work!” Misty snapped. “I was right! Will somebody get this naked man out of my room?”

“So you know you like girls!” Madison’s satisfaction with the situation did not abate.

“What on earth is going on in here?” Her heart sank at the sound of Cordelia’s voice. Misty rocked back onto her heels, muttering a prayer under her breath. How many people were going to wind up in her room, staring at her in her towel and Kyle in nothing? “Zoe?”

“Misty likes girls!” Zoe snarled.

Cordelia’s eyebrows knitted together. “That only sounds mildly homophobic--” She cut herself off as she spotted Kyle, and in a sharper voice, she asked him, “Where are your clothes?”

“I can explain--”

Misty shouldered past Kyle, lips twisted downward into a snarl as she clasped her towel tightly around her middle. She had never wanted anyone to see this much of her body, especially not Cordelia. At the last thought, Nan peered past her Supreme, giving Misty a knowing look. “Maddie decided she was gonna help me figure out whether or not I liked men, so she tricked me and Kyle and locked us both in here, and he was naked when I got here and I definitely don’t want any of his body to ever touch any of my body ever again, so will everybody let me get dressed?” This certainly wasn’t how she had planned to come out to anyone, let alone the entire coven. Her face burned with shame.

Zoe made another shrill cry of anger and whirled on Madison. Cordelia pinched the bridge of her nose. “Everyone, go downstairs. Go--get started on dinner.” The other girls waited, watching her for another sign or suggestion. “Go!”

They scampered down the stairs, leaving Cordelia alone in her door frame. She entered the room and closed the creaking door behind her. “I’m sorry, Miss Cordelia--I didn’t mean for none of this--I swear it, it was all Maddie’s idea.” The cold wind hit her back again, cutting through her wet hair which was still sodden from the shower. “And Zoe broke the window, but I don’t think she meant to. I’d probably break something, too, if it were me.”

“It’s okay.” Cordelia held up her hands. “Are you okay?”

Misty shrugged. “I mean… Everybody was gonna find out somehow. Wasn’t how I planned it, but ain’t no sense fussing.” She turned away. “Least now Maddie oughta leave me alone about hooking up with somebody.”

Cordelia’s soft hand rested on her shoulder. It was the same shoulder that Kyle had touched, but her palm was so very different. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest. “I’m sorry.” Misty’s pulse throbbed in her tongue with anxiety. She could smell Cordelia’s intoxicating perfume. “If anyone bothers you, I want you to come to me. Do you promise me that? I won’t accept any bullying.” Misty nodded. She didn’t expect anyone to bully her. Cordelia hugged her. Her heart skipped a beat, and she hugged back even though it made her towel slip. A tender kiss pressed to her cheek. Misty nearly swooned. “So… Do you like anyone?”

Her voice emerged in a panicked squeak, betraying the lie before it ever touched her lips. “Nope.”

Chuckling, Cordelia withdrew. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. But I do like to keep up with the gossip.” She tucked a cold, wet curl behind Misty’s ear. “You can stay in my room tonight. I’ll have someone come fix the window tomorrow.”

That night, lying in bed still as a corpse beside Cordelia, Misty kept stealing sideways glances at her Supreme, who slept peacefully on her side with the moonlight streaming through the window highlighting all of her curves in silver. The sheer nightgown clung to her frame. “Yeah, this ain’t happening,” Misty breathed to herself. She tiptoed out of bed and out of the room, downstairs. “I need a bagel.”

The kitchen light was on. “I was waiting for you,” Nan said. “Are you going to tell her?”

“Like hell I am!” Misty plopped herself onto the kitchen stool beside Nan. “I can’t believe Maddie did that to me. Or to Kyle, actually.”

“She likes Zoe. She wanted to break up her and Kyle.”

“She--you--what?”

Nan shrugged. “It was a good plan, I guess. But I could’ve told you it wouldn’t work. You’ve been dreaming about Cordelia since always.” She slid the bagel down the counter. “Here. Strawberry cream cheese, like you like.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“Cordelia only buys that cream cheese because you like it.” Misty couldn’t reply with her mouth full of bagel. “Did you at least tell her about your type?” What’s my type? Misty asked in her mind, chewing through the tough bread and wiping her mouth. “You know, older women.” That’s not my type. “Are you sure? ‘Cause, I mean, Stevie Nicks…”

Misty coughed, choking herself on the bagel. “You leave Stevie outta this.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Okay, so maybe I got a type, and maybe I would like Cordelia to--”

“Ew, stop! Stop thinking!”

“Oh, please. What do you think I should do?”

“You don’t want Madison’s advice, but you want mine?”

“You gotta have a better plan than locking me and Cordelia into a room naked together.”

Nan cackled. “I think you should just talk to her. Or at least tell her your type.”

Sighing, Misty drew her finger through the trail of cream cheese left on the plate, licking it up. “What will she say? What does she really think?” Nan gave her a familiar, knowing smile. “Oh, c’mon, Nan! Don’t look at me like that! I need to know!”

Nan shook her head. “I don’t interfere.”

“Of course you don’t.”

Footsteps headed down the stairs. Nan and Misty fell silent, both looking up to see Cordelia headed down the stairs, her nightgown flapping around her beautiful legs. Misty hitched a breath at the sight of her. Nan plunged an elbow into her ribs to make her remember to breathe. “Misty? Nan? Are you alright?” Misty nodded, unable to speak. Cordelia muffled a yawn with the palm of her hand. “Okay.” She headed down the staircase and got a glass of water. “Get some sleep, girls.”

Nan expected her involvement in the situation to go no further, but instead, she found herself in the kitchen with Cordelia the next day, trying her best to block out all of the whispers in her head while she grilled a cheese sandwich. She barely had a warning--perceiving a thought of, I should ask Nan--before Cordelia appeared beside her, and she slipped her headphones off of her ears at the sight of her Supreme. “It ain’t me,” Nan said. Cordelia blinked. “I’m not the one Misty likes.”

“But you know who it is.”

“Yep.”

“Can you--”

“Nope. It’s none of your business.” Nan pressed the sandwich into the pan and watched it sizzle. “What has she told you?”

Cordelia leaned against the counter. “Nothing! It’s like she’s avoiding me.” She drummed the toes of her shoes on the tile floor. “Am I making her feel weird? I don’t want her to be uncomfortable. I know that what happened--couldn’t have been pleasant for her, and I just--”

“You don’t need to give me the spiel. I know you like her.”

“I do not--” Nan arched an eyebrow, and Cordelia cut herself off, averting her eyes. “Fine. But that’s not why I care. I want her to feel safe here. And she deserves to feel loved. I’d like to help her find someone.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “This isn’t very easy. You won’t even give me a hint?”

Nan shrugged. “Misty told me she has a thing for older women.”

Cordelia’s mind buzzed with a bold, Of course! and Nan thought she had it, but she stood up straight, muttering, “It’s Myrtle! No wonder she was embarrassed!” as she fled the kitchen. Nan laughed so long that she burned her sandwich.

Cordelia headed outside into the yard. Through the windows of the greenhouse, she spotted Misty and Madison, the former snipping at the leaves of a plant and pointing out the parts of the flower to the latter, who stared greedily at Misty’s lips and bobbed her head in agreement to whatever Misty was saying. As Cordelia rounded the corner and entered the greenhouse, Madison spun Misty around and kissed her. Why does this keep happening? Jealousy flushed through Cordelia for a second time in the week at the sight of someone standing over Misty--and just like before, Misty didn’t want it. Misty’s hands flurried into visible panic. Cordelia grabbed Madison by the back of her shirt and tugged her away. “It's polite to ask first.”

“Goddamn, Cordy, you're always ruining the fun.” Madison wiped the dirt off of her hands. “I hate it out here. It's gross.” She stormed out of the greenhouse.

Misty blushed. “Thanks.” She smiled at Cordelia. “That time wasn't so bad. Least she had all of her clothes on.”

The envy burned inside of Cordelia. She struggled to squash it back down. “Would you have preferred me not to interrupt?”

“Oh, hell no. You're a lifesaver, Miss Cordelia.” Misty began to roll up her books. “I'm sorry. I'll get out of your way.”

Misty was trying to run again. Cordelia touched her forearm. “Wait. I was just talking to Nan.” Her eyes stretched wide with fear. “She told me that you were--”

“I'm sorry!” Misty blurted. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean nothing by it, swear it!”

“No, don't worry, it's fine--”

“I do like you, but I don't expect nothing--”

“Me?”

Misty stopped talking. “What did Nan say?”

“She said you had a thing for Myrtle.”

Her jaw hung slack. “Were those her exact words?”

Cordelia shrugged. “She said you liked older women, and it makes sense that you and Myrtle are close--” Misty pursed her lips, her eyes squinting with some thought running through them, before she dipped down and planted a quick kiss to Cordelia's lips.

The blush crawled all over her. “Does it make sense now?” she asked in a soft voice. Cordelia's voice had vanished somewhere inside of her throat, and the search party kept returning empty handed. “I'm sorry,” Misty said again, softer, and she collected her books and began to leave the greenhouse.

Grabbing her by the elbow again, Cordelia dragged her back and kissed her. She clung to the front of Misty's clothing. The envy which had followed her for days scalded through her veins, but she ignored it as she ground her lips against Misty's and found hers returning the favor with arms strung around her neck, books discarded in a heap on the table. Misty's gentle, dirty hands combed through her hair, pushing her back until she collided with a table. Cordelia sprang herself up onto the table. “It made me so jealous, seeing you like that with Kyle--”

“I can't believe you thought I liked Myrtle--”

“Nan misled me--” Misty laughed and kissed her again, leaning over her on the table, flowers and greenery framing her on either side.

The door to the greenhouse creaked. They both froze. “That's a lie,” Nan called. “She's just oblivious!” She turned and retreated from the floral house, leaving both of them in peace.

#foxxay #sarah paulson #lily rabe #misty day #cordelia goode #cordelia foxx

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