#sometimes you have to draw something so insanely self indulgent-

[mossy-rat]

scars

click for better quality | id in alt

[astrow1zar6]

Astro Observations- 38

Aries suns with Scorpio moons can be big adrenaline junkies. They need to do something dangerous that makes them feel alive. They can be extreme sometimes such as fast driving, mixing substances ect. They don’t feel like they’re living if they aren’t experiencing enough intensity. They should learn to focus this energy in healthier ways such as maybe exercising and sports.

Pisces Mercury’s often did art to express their emotions when younger. I’ve seen Pisces Mercurys who struggled to logically explain how they feel so they would draw or make crafts to show what they were feeling. Their emotions a lot of the times are too complex and intense to explain with only words. They work better with visuals. They could’ve also been better visual learners compared to people giving straightforward instructions when in a classroom setting (they are usually very imaginative).

Mars in Scorpios can have a hard time keeping friends and partners because of how intense they can be. When hurt they can say some really scary fucked up things that can make people want to distance themselves away. ESPECIALLY when they get jealous. They can be super cut throat with their words.

Taurus Venus’s usually came from households where they were exposed to really good food. Either they had enough money in their childhoods to afford high quality ingredients or they came from a family who cooked a lot. This can cause them to be natural cooks themselves. Usually indulged a lot as a child.

Aquarius suns either give IT girl/boy too cool for you vibes or they’re complete weirdos with a school shooter vibe no in between.

I believe Taurus suns are way more jealous than Scorpio suns

Leo moons tend to be the most awkward Leo placement. They have this dorkiness about them which most people don’t expect but I’ve seen it a lot. They can also be very childishly dramatic about very minor problems. Any little inconvenience is seen as a tragedy. However they usually are extremely talented in one area (usually art related) I’ve seen a lot of musicians and drama kids have this placement.

I’d love to have a Sagittarius moon yall seem like you generally don’t give a f*ck what people think and I’m here for it. Such a happy moon sign. However your good vibes 24/7 attitude can make others believe you’re insensitive or shallow.

I notice a lack of fire in the chart can cause a person to go into depression easier. It’s harder to be optimistic.

Venus in 2nd house isn’t just about being rich it also has to do with self esteem as well! When these people are really on the right path they can live such a favorable life! These are the girls you see on YouTube who’s morning routine is waking up at 6, eating a balanced breakfast, moisturize and exfoliate and exercise all before 8 lmao. Usually they don’t start making good money until they fix their self worth but once they do it’s like they flow with the universe without much obstacles. But when struggling with your self esteem you can become bad with your money and be very greedy and jealous of others success so be careful!

Venus in 7th house people are so lucky with relationships. It’s like they just slide into romantic relationships so easily & naturally. So many people want to cuff them up it’s insane. They tend to get along with a lot of different personalities. Very diverse people which attracts people to them like magnets. However, they can be very codependent and do poorly when alone.

Pisces suns are either extremely wise or super foolish and immature. They also always look like they don’t know what’s going on whether they actually do or really don’t😭 even if they are listening to everything your saying it looks like they have nothing going on in their minds like they got a lobotomy lmao (sometimes tho they really don’t know what’s going on, especially Pisces mercs)

Mercury in Capricorns are normally super smart. Street wise and book wise. They can come off as intimidating tho sometimes because of how intelligent they come off. They also have a vibe that can lowkey make people feel unwelcome like you’re too dumb to talk to them💀 (similar to cap risings). They tend to surround themselves with people older/more mature than them they can really get put off but younger acting energies.

Sag risings can be SOOO loud. Especially when they get excited or drunk.

Having a Sun in Aries and a Cancer moon seems like the most difficult sun/moon placements to have together. You have this tough exterior and such a vulnerable interior that no one knows about so people usually treat you harshly not knowing it’s really hard for you to take that☹️ also struggles a lot with being vulnerable to anyone.

Every Pisces Mars woman I’ve ever met was so dazzling to look at. They have such an ultra feminine nature that’s almost ethereal.

[rayvedd]

INTRODUCTION !!!!!!

heya you can call me ez or spencer !! im a trans fag and an artist

my pronouns are he/they

im a minor . so if youre my friend or mutual feel free to be goofy with me..i dont mind suggestive humour but if i dont know you dont be weird

im super confused and dysphoric about my gender so dont come after me if you see me wearing a skirt or something auagahuagahgh

im an everything kisser but i prefer men and i also can involve in some polyamory ..heh…heh

im very very hyperfixated with my chemical romance and have been for a long time GOD I LOVE GERARD WAY AND FRANK IERO!!! GONNA FUCKIN KILL THAT GUY

DNI WAYCEST PEOPLE!!! (ive kind of just decided that band member ships are just weird in general. dont try to talk about them with me but im not shaming anyone straight up especially frerard i used to read fanfics of that shit it was DIABOLICAL..sigh)

I POST LKE EVERY SECOND THAT I HAVE MY PHONE WITH ME

ASK IF YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS OR MUTUALS DONT BE AFRAID TO TALK TO ME OR ASK ME ANYTHING!! I LOOOOOVVEE GETTING ASKS AND DMS

im gonna post my art and probably a ton of random rants on whats on my mind and a lot of other random shit idek .. me oversharing about my insecurities and issues on the internet is a canon event. sorey 

I POST ART DAILY !! most of the time stupid stuff

some artists and bands i listen to !! my chemical romance, pierce the veil, brokencyde, dazey and the scouts, the millionaires, destroy boys, gerard way, leathermouth, insane clown posse, tv girl, lemon demon, the cure, mindless self indulgence (i do NOT support jimmy), nirvana, weezer, paramore, radiohead, pencey prep, sleeping with sirens, the dresden dolls, the smiths, the neighborhood, the cardigans, the used, alex g, fall out boy, panic! at the disco, breaking benjamin, mommy long legs, slipknot and a LOT more!!!!!!  I listen to a ton of genres also

i also used to be REALLY hyperfixated and obsessed with the game regretevator on roblox but im taking a break from playing it after i lost my AUAGHAUAGGHH MY 57 DAY STREAK. IM SO FRUSTRATED ABOUT THAT but yeah if youre my online friend then i know i met you because of that silly game but if you want to talk about that game with me or want to know anything about it, I KNOW ALL THE LORE!!! COME TO ME!!

I LOVE MY FRIENDS OUGHFGHUUGJJGHJ

please feel free to interact ask questions about literally anything PLEASE!!! IM STARVING FOR ASKS 

i WILL NOT do an age reveal or face reveal any time soon but sometimes ill draw myself and post it

i might make a youtube video if anyone would watch that … maybe like a video of me drawing + q&a or something ask questions if you have any plz

if youre my friend or close mutual watch out. this says everything

also i will edit this post a lot probably

[dirtyoldmanhole]

this is gonna be sappy (my bad, sorry) but when i first stumbled across your blog i was very deep in my own shame for? self-indulgence i guess is the best word for it something about purity culture and all that jazz

and seeing you post so shamelessly about gunter was? enlightening? i remember spending an hour just scrolling through all the tags in your pinned and feeling some sort embarassed curiosity about everything

the love you have for gunter was so oddly infectious in both suddenly wanting to go insane over my own interests and in wanting to crack gunter open like a nut and not being ashamed about finding the sleazier parts about him just so downright interesting

this blog and the gunter posting has helped me start unlearning a lot of shame so please keep horny grandpa posting and thank you for making a space like this horny grandpa posting can be so special

gently takes your hand; anon this is so moving..... ;u; thank you.

you know, there's a tumblr post out there that basically reiterates how important is it to have a genuinely unironic, balls-to-the-wall horny space for yourself (i believe it was from the perspective of a single mom but goes for everyone). in a similar way, personally don't get a lot of IRL privacy for various unavoidable life-circumstances reasons and the older i get the more i genuinely think this is one of those uncompromising spaces that everyone should have.

not just a physical space, but a mental space too. powerfully important, especially in this day and age where there's powers that be that wants to strip that last refuge.

like not gonna lie, in the last few years i was getting better at the whole less-shame-with-drawing-horny (working with JD Riley and my doujin circle broskis was and is a world of good <3), but, man, it's not often you find a character out of the blue that absolutely matches one's freak in regards to private kink specific stuff and then some, quite ferociously so.

it makes me blink in surprise when i war-game some fic or comic type of scripts with my mental conception of him and there's plenty of sleazy as hell depths that haven't even touched yet. there's a quiet relief to it all, for me - and probably for anyone reading this - a strange camaraderie but relief all the same - that one's own id isn't the only one filled with strange, sometimes embarrassing, and sometimes frightening wonders.

wouldn't be an id without that, you know? that shit's special, as you said.

anyway, all that to say i completely understand, and appreciate you right back. <3

[askuemki]

So I have no idea if I’ll keep this post up, but…

A little rant abt re8?? (And cod.. kinda) maybe venting (just a mess :,)

Disclaimer, take my opinions with a grain of salt I just wanna ramble lmao

Also spoilers, maybe (update, definitely)

So I’ve been having fun dipping my toes into Donna Beneviento (god her last name is hard to spell) content. After watching the gameplays and to at least have a basic understanding for the game, I find myself really drawn to her, maybe more than Alcina tbh

By no means i’m a diehard fan or anything, recently it’s been hard to find a new fandom to get attached towards. As much as I adore cod, there isnt really much to get attached too… like sure, task 141 is a fun group and the there is some GREAT art about the ships- but I only got attached because of Valeria, I won’t deny it at all. I’m a diehard lesbian, but there isn’t really much cannon content of her?? It’s really damn disappointing sometimes, man… same with Laswell. I appreciate all of the fanartists out there though, I adore all of the content here, fanfics or fan art. With Farah, she’s a diffrent story.. personally I never really got attached to her, but as a character she’s pretty neat. Her story sort of brings to light the horrors happening today which is a bit of a benefit…?? But ever since I found out things about both Valeria’s and Farah’s actors I’ve been a little off about things here and there. I don’t think I’ll stop posting Valeria content at all, it just might be a little less offen to indulge in different things.

Some personal things have been happening to make me feel really disconnected from like.. fucking everything for some reason?? Like I’m drifting away from fandoms, I’m drifting away from people and I’m like alone again.. I’m lost in a damn dumpster fire. AI art doesn’t help with this at all.. like why do I draw?? I’ve been drawing since I was in kindergarten like I never really thought of the specifics of perusing art, more or so just that I want to. Like hey, I wanna make a game or movie series, and something in me doesn’t realize I need to put in the effort to learn shit with just ends up in me doing nothing but self pitting on something I can change and ugh.. wish I can slap myself to get out of it.

So I think I’ve been kind of finding myself relating to Donna. Not in her extreme way, more or so just her aspect of being isolated, and just being known primarily for one thing. Like.. our side of art? Damn. Shit. I think I’m worth nothing.. and with Donna we don’t really know much about her besides her being a cursed Dollmaker, and the bare bones of her past. And we both barely fucking speak man… both hide our faces too !! maybe I kin this woman or something I don’t know

But as I was looking through her tumblr tag, I saw a rant about how headcannons and stuff has been stripping away the interesting stuff about the re8 villains… and with the things I’ve seen so far?? I can kinda agree, honestly.

Don’t get me wrong, if it’s not too.. insane? (I know those boundaries are hard to define at times, but maybe REALLY immoral shit for our “normal” world) and people aren’t forcing these headcannons into other people? I don’t mind headcannons. You do you, boo!

But the fan content I’ve seen, people reduce Donna and Alcina (I’m surprised it was pronounced as AlCHIna and not AlSIna, but side tangent over) from the potential they really have. Yeah it’s definitely nice to see Donna more, especially in those intimate moments.. but sometimes I feel like people just depict her as some shy, easily gullible, girl, and not really the mentally deprived woman she is. Like I’d love to see ideas of the different dolls Donna could create, or unique imagery of her mental state outside of having porcelain skin. What about the kinds of plants she takes care of? Or the dolls she makes? I’d love to see more of it, whether she has favorites, or if it’s a situation where she has doll replicas of her deceased family. Man, I really wanna see Donna do more creepy shit, basically.

With Alcina however? She’s kind of reduced to that (I’m going to cringe at these words so terribly, god help me) “hot vampire mommy”.. I’ll take fault for not looking into her content as much, I’m sure there’s great content out there !! (I’m not sure if anyone would do this but.. feel free to send me any fic recommendations or art) With what I want to see for her? I’ve heard from the rant post as a man-hating woman she had primarily female statues in her castle, it would be fun to see what else she has cause of this worldview, as well as more whitty remarks from her; I really enjoy her throwback with Heisenberg. Just in general.. her being a comical villain.

Okay so, the reason why I made this post in the first place before all of this shit threw up from my brain. Belladonna. At first, this ship really interested me, I like the character dynamics, the art was neat. But then something came up in my mind.. (as well as another rant post on the ship..) isn’t the Dimitrescu bloodline related with Donna? Both are failed experiments from Mother Miranda, and technically adopted by her. Though from what I know, Donna is the only one officially adopted. So would that be family..? I’ve seen a few places where Alcina called Donna her sister, and it makes me feel really off.

And I’ve seen in a few fanarts, Donna technically older than the Dimitrescu sisters posed next to them like another sibling??

I would like to endorse the ship, but just the morality of everything is off centered for me. I rather not support weird incest…

So please if people could maybe clarify for me whether it would technically be okay for support this ship.. I’d appreciate it. If it isn’t okay, I have plans on making a fan character anyways, or I can take current characters and make a resident evil au or something, and ship them when Donna. (I have a character that honestly looks like a mix of Alcina and Bela, but by no means she’s relates to the franchise, lmao)

By no means I’m experienced in resident evil lore or the fandom, this is just coming from a newer fan of the series, and what I’ve seen so far.

If you read all of this.. thank you?? I apologize if I sound ridiculous here, this is like the only place I can rant abt things without being brushed off for other shit

Good night now!!! I need to stop pushing my sleep boundaries ugh

[b0ne-merchant]

Hii, I get it so much to be back in the undertale trenches I guess you can never leave it XD

Anywayyyy, I wanted to ask what your favorite AU Sans is and if you got any headcanons for him?

Hope you have a nice day/night and take your time while writing :D

You really can never leave the undertale trenches lol. That shits been doinkin around in my head for nearly a decade now, and for one reason or another it decided to push itself front and center in my mind <3

I had think long and hard about this one. There are so many, and I love them all to pieces, so how could I choose??? But I have come to a decision.

I LOVE INK!!!!! I need him. I hate him. I wanna hold him close and kiss him. I wanna beat him with a frying pan. I need to have a toxic situationship with him. He's so goddamn silly and a dumbass and a bitch and I love him.

And he is also insanely hard to write for on account of the whole soulless and unfeeling thing LOL so suspend your disbelief just a tad for this one while I self indulge 🤭

Ink!Sans Dating Headcanons

Please be patient with this boy he really is trying 🙏

Ink has several sketchbooks filled with drawings of just you. He keeps one with him at all times so he can remember what you look like when he starts to forget.

When Ink realized he could draw you and him kissing he was like:

Ink loves to just doodle on you. Give him a pen, and he'll start sketching on your fingers, over your hand, up your arm, and further if you'll let him.

He just always has to be doing something with his hands. If it's not making your skin his canvas, it's braiding tiny sections of your hair or fidgeting with the hems of your clothes.

He has lots of reminders scribbled inside his scarf. Your birthday, your anniversary (and other important dates), your allergies, your favorites, etc.

He makes Dream quiz him periodically on these things. Dream is just excited that his friend seems happy a lot more often now.

Ink doesn't necessarily HAVE to sleep, but I think the second he starts feeling calm and getting cozy, it's lights out.

He falls asleep with his head in your lap more times than you can count.

Sometimes you swear he's more cat than skeleton. Curling up on top of you, butting his head against your hands to get you to pet him, and he even purrs!

Ink's first kiss with you had him so overjoyed that he threw up ink all over you and then proceeded to entirely forget that he even kissed you. He was much calmer for his second first kiss.

He loves kisses so damn much. Like, little pecks all over his face and on his hands and fingers. Your lips tickle and he's a giggling, rainbow-blushing mess by the time you're done.

He doesn't really have a solid grasp on relationships and their stages (everything he learned was just from observing others) so expect a few confusing actions and some mixed signals.

Like if he saw a couple in an AU giving each other the cold shoulder, he's just like "oh ok couples just do that I guess" and he'll ignore you for a few days. If only there were some sort of dating manual he could read.

After a while, he'll just start calling you his spouse. What, isn't that the next step after partner? What do you mean there's more to it than that????

Ink is such a freeloader. He'll pop in to be with you, then he'll raid your pantry and eat all your good snacks. He also takes up an impossible amount of room on the bed for such a small guy.

Oh he looooves to mess with you. Stealing all the towels from the bathroom while you shower. Rearranging your entire kitchen. Mismatching all your socks.

You can always tell when he's done something, because he'll stare at you with a massive grin and follow you around, asking "are you suuureeee everything is normal??" until you figure it out.

Being a nuisance is Ink's love language. Get used to it.

Me 🤝 the three other Ink lovers out there

[valencrime]

Pinned post!

I'm Dottie, They/She/He are fine, I'm an adult.

I write, and draw, and cross stitch, and sometimes I even remember to post those things to the internet. Art tag is #dottie doodles!

Fanfiction masterpost under the cut, in order of most recently updated.

In Between Days - 62,473 words - published 2025 Inanimate Insanity - Incomplete - (14/17+?) - "If my death helps them survive, I wouldn't have any regrets." And then he woke up. (Time Loop AU)

Born Sexy Yesterday - The Ethics of Crushing on MePad - 1,021 words - published 2025 - Inanimate Insanity - Complete - (1/1) - An in-character blog entry from Fan himself on the ever important topic: is crushing on MePad unethical?

UNDO UNDO - 19,856 words - published 2024, finished 2025 Inanimate Insanity - Complete - (5/5) - MePad is dead. Test Tube doesn't think he should stay that way.

End of the Line - 1,261 words - published 2024 Great God Grove - Complete - (1/1) - King's perspective, at the top of the spire.

Heart in a Headlock - 10995 words - published 2024 Undertale - Incomplete (3/?) - I'm enamored with timeloops, and wanted to write something self-indulgent about Frisk and Chara. Maybe you'll like it too

Between the Between the Scenes (More Between, More Scene) - 14037 words - published 2022, last updated 2023 Dungeons and Dragons - (11/?) My DND drabbles all compiled into one, easy for my friends to find fic. AUs and in-character letters and lost scenes, oh my! Gordon in Breen's Office, What Propaganda Will He Make? - 54569 words - published 2020, last updated 2023 Half-Life - Hiatus - (24/?) Do you wanna read a story where nice things happen to the cast of Half-Life 2? A story where Gordon gets put in Doctor Breen's Office instead of on the train to City 17? I'm giving everyone a happy ending, dang it!

Project "FREEMAN" - 11448 words - published 2020, last updated 2021 Half-Life but the AI are Self-Aware - Incomplete and LIKELY abandoned - (4/?) (1/1) Gordon is the only AI AU.

Beast Synonyms - 1911 words - published 2021 Half-Life - Hiatus - (1/?) Cool dragon AU

Half-Life Mermaid AU - 9811 words - published 2020, last updated 2021 Half-Life - (1/1) (1/1) (2/3) - What if Half-Life characters got to be HAPPY? Also mermaids are real. Three stories in collection.

Love (to) Spoon - 4459 words - published 2020 Half-Life - Complete - (1/1) - A Secret Santa that is technically part of a series, but can standalone. Gordon Freeman and Barney Calhoun give each other heartfelt gifts, Post-Half-Life 2 Episode 2 (except Eli isn't dead)

Bomb Rush Blush - 1681 words - published 2020 Splatoon 2 Octo Expansion - Complete - (1/1) - Callie's here to help with the rescue at the subway! Unfortunately, she's gotten a bit lost.

remember when malls existed - 1753 words - published 2020 Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Complete - (1/1) Gordon Freeman needs to get presents for his son at the mall!

Couch Time - 3069 words - published 2020 Ducktales 2017 - Complete - (1/1) Della's having a rough time on Earth, so she calls up one of her favorite cousins to help out!

Observe, Think, React - 704 words - published 2019 Inanimate Insanity - Complete - (1/1) MePad thinks about the rare feelings he has, and what causes the worst ones.

[le01zk00l]

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES 2012 ..BUT THEY GET TO BE ACTUAL TEENAGERS (let them be happy please..)

RAPH LORE !!! (From a person that has never really written a cool story before)

-Raph used to prove himself to others, he feels like he will never be enough for those around him, causing him to overachieve (which he mostly fails to do) and is often trying to get splinter to think he is the best. His siblings caught onto this quickly, and Raph began to try and like himself more, stopped trying to prove himself as much, and instead tries to lift his brothers up with him (after a long history of bringing his brothers down)

For a long time (12-14 yrs old) Raph would bring his brothers down for his own gain, like downplaying their achievements and getting jealous whenever they outshined him. Thankfully Raph realized that wasn’t the way to go, and after many apologies decided to try and help his brothers out, if they four weren’t the best, then he’d rather not be.

LIKES !! : wrestling, boxing, art (painting, drawing, writing, etc) rollerblading, drums, his Brothers ^_^!

DISLIKES.. : Extremely loud people, bugs (mostly grasshoppers or roaches) , people crossing his boundaries.

SILLAY FACTS BOUT HIM ^_^! : 

Raph began to draw and do art on an attempt to outshine his siblings, and ended up liking it enough to keep doing it for fun

Began to invite Mikey to rollerblade with him! Tho Mikey preferred skateboarding instead

He is the Go to whenever you want to move something heavy

Is “OKAY” with Leo..(it’s a bit rocky)

Has broken 3 bones so far, and there are WAY more to come

Treats Mikey extra nicely on April fools day, just so he does get pranked as hard

He and Donnie have this middle child energy, they can agree on things without even talking..mind reading communication..whoaa..

Really wants to be emo/punk/scene/scenemo (I think that’s how u write it..) and goes around trying to find cool things that fell down the sewers, or just steals B-Grade stuff from hot topic and hopes for the best 

Mikey goes with him sometimes ^_^

His favorite sibling is Donnie, Donnie creates the most dangerous things, and he LOVES trying them out

*secretly* watches old anime with Leo..mostly sailor moon

His favorite bands/singers are : Tyler, the creator, ICP (insane clown posse) , babymetal, Weezer, Mindless self indulgence, Rebzyyx, 6arelyhuman, some other Rap/punk artist out there somewhere..

He and April are besties, they sometimes just sit down to talk about the most underground music/ strangest topics or gossips they know..and could spent hours

Secretly listens to MORE MORE JUMP! (Self insert in there)

Appreciates J-pop, he likes the *sometimes* strong instrumentals !

Listens to ADO, he loves the way she puts her whole soul onto her covers/songs, finds it very satisfying to listen to

HAS bought stuff from VampireFreaks ^_^

Wants to play Guilty gear SO BAD..but can’t (Would be an A.B.A main)

has played skullgirls, he is a Fukua main, or would play Beowulf OR Squigly (mostly on mobile), he plays characters he considers have “Fast gameplay” since characters that attack “slowly” stress him out

Has a teddy bear named “Skully” Mikey crocheted for him..

[stormyoceans]

Now I want to know about your favorite things in BL. Share your top, Monica🥺

THIS IS GONNA BE SO SELF-INDULGENT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ANON 💜💜💜

unfortunately when it comes to list any kind of favorite things, my mind tends to draw a blank ;;;;;; so im pretty sure im missing some major ones here, but still. here are a bunch of things i enjoy the most in BLs and need to see more of!!!!!!

in no particular order:

1. slow dancing. this is what being exposed to pride & prejudice (2005) dir. joe wright in her formative years will do to a woman: any kind of scene with two characters dancing together has me spinning counterclockwise on the floor foaming at the mouth now. im glad we're seeing more of it in BLs these days, although i do think sometimes it's a bit too staged. i don't necessarily need the characters to perform a perfectly executed choreography, having them just moving in circle and swaying in place is more than enough. my favorite example of this is still palmnueng in never let me go

2. snuggles in bed. maybe it's because im very affectionate with the people i love, but nothing screams intimacy to me more than two characters holding each other as they fall asleep or wake up. it can easily become awkward if the actors aren't comfortable with it (and it's easy to tell because their arms are around each other but the rest of their body is leaving room for jesus), but if it's done right it just melts my entire stupid heart. it's one of the many things that made me fall in love with puentalay in vice versa (everyone act surprised please)

3. lift-ups. i don't really like bridal carries, but lift-ups (i have no idea how it's actually called and google wasn't really helpful ;;;;;;;; reverse piggyback ride? piggyfront???? idk ;;;;;;;;) are SO HOT to me, ESPECIALLY!!!!!! if the actors are the same size. don't get me wrong, i still like it if there is an height difference, but knowing a person is strong enough to carry someone of their same build? as i said, HOT. aouboom are basically pro at it at this point

4. pull him in. im not particularly fond of arm pulling because it often feels more forceful than sensual to me, but waist pulling???? tie pulling???? belt pulling???? especially when it's slow and deliberate and full of flirty intent????? [FEMALE HYSTERIA] everybody went insane over the honey scene in top form (which. fair enough!!!!!!), meanwhile this is actually what made me scream the most about jinakin

5. breast play. TIDDIES. ARE. EROGENOUS. ZONES. FOR. MEN. TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROPE THEM!!!!!!!!! FONDLE THEM!!!!!!!!! PUT THEM IN YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH CONSENT. idk, maybe it's because that's something i like to do (sorry for the tmi ;;;;;;;), but nothing is quite as exhilarating as reducing a man to an incoherent mess without even touching his dick. and look, i do have my issues with p'jojo's series (mostly about the storytelling), but when it comes to what i want to see in BL shows, if nobody got me i know that man got me. shout out to fadelstyle, they will always be famous to me

6. scent kink. considering that i don't quite get this one in rl, it's honestly insane how much i actually LOVE it in fiction. i can't explain why but it's just..the intent the urgency the desperation the attraction. the desire becoming so overwhelming that it spills out in the uncharacteristic action of smelling used clothes (or whatever carries the scent of the one the character loves) as if they’re a lush bath bomb. it's such a visceral symbol of erotic thrill. my man teh knows something about it

7. media references. this feels very random (and possibly kinda snobbish ;;;;;;;), however i love when (mostly contemporary) BLs don't exist in a vacuum. im not sure why, because i also think it can easily get a bit cringey, but i experience such a boost of serotonin every time a show mentions a book/movie/song i already know or that i can look up. it just makes me feel a little bit more involved in the story, and it's also a GREAT way to enrich storytelling or build a character's personality. my obsession with poddpapang's aside, im actually SO DELIGHTED to see boys in love use this kind of allusions

[diamondstripe1]

Ways To Be The >:3 Thing Personified

okayokay i LOVE those aesthetic pink posts, the ones with the "tips for being an angel/princess/whatever", the ones with the life improvement stuff,,, but also like. they're all so calm. where's the chaos. the rabidness of femininity. we need it. i need it

SO i decided to make my own!! as of now im calling this 'chaotic pink tips', but if you have a better name please share sjjsjd

⁺ ﹒　 ♡　﹒　　﹒

-incorporate some cryptid ass things into your outfit. the one with the frilly white skirt and tank top? wear a necklace of teeth with it. those stockings looking a bit too plain? splatter some fake blood. got a duplicate of a long skirt you ordered? rip it up, see what you can do with it. bonus points if your outfit's a bit vintage-ish, though that's not a requirement!! ^^

-you know those plushies with two heads and a bunch of eyes? learn to make those. i haven't done this yet, but it looks really fun!! OR if you don't wanna make a whole new plushie and have some money to spare, go on etsy and support some plushie artists. :D

-incorporate it into your personality. really LEARN what it means to be a batshit insane doll. still be a sweetheart- be sickly sweet, even- if you ain't nice, you're not >:3, you're just >:). but have that unnerviness about you that just sorta draws people in. are you interested in various torture methods? learn those, and share them to anyone who's interested!! found something funky on the side of the road? collect it, incorporate it into your life!! of course, do whatever makes you happy- those are just examples <3 oh also, swear when people least expect it, that shit's hilarious ueueu

-scrolling through various pink tips, i noticed quite a few of them include poetry- read poetry, write poetry, share it with the moon... SO how about we put our own spin on that? do all that, but with horror!! specifically, horror with overly cutesy characters. be as creative as you want with the characters, the storyline, whatever. if we're going with the whole "share it with the moon" thing, well, do it!! it's gonna send a shiver down its cold spine. >:D

-create a nest. get a bunch of floral blankets, satin pillows, various plushies, and whatever cozy thing you can think of, and just sort of mix it however would be most comfortable for you. go against the whole 'neat bed' thing- it's called a nest for a reason!!

-indulge yourself!! sometimes, self care doesn't feel like face masks and picture-perfect diets and walks at the ass crack of dawn. sometimes, self care feels like aggressive snoozing in silk pajamas with a chili dog stain, and waking up twelve hours later to rummage through an ice cream tub. and there's no shame!! live your life in the way that's most comfortable to you. ^^

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AAAAND that's all i got jsjsjdj if you have any, feel free to tag me!! <3

[jaggybot3000]

Dude asking, for a friend but how the hell do you find the motivation to finish animatics/comics/interactions and stuff .!?! Your art’s so cool and very tasty i wish i could absorb the way you draw mouths specifically

helloo:3 oo thats such a good question lol bc a lot of the time i DO give up on many art pieces/ideas, most of which never even make it to a sketching phase...i have so many little blurbs from my notes app that just. stayed as little notes and blurbs. (it's also extra tricky bc i don't have as much free time as i used to as a teen lol, thems the breaks when ur a working college student...i gain better art knowledge but at the cost of money and free time...AUHG)

BUT as for motivation? hm, it's different for everyone, but some advice that helps me: break things down, set up a semi-deadline, and also be self indulgent as hell with your work.

for my post-juno incident comic- i almost gave up halfway on it! i'll share the fully process on it eventually, but long story short the second half was in a sketch/lineart phase for a longggg time (december-february...). i would just stare at it in my drafts. eventually, i came back to it one day and was like...let me at least clean up the lineart. so i did that. then i was like, okay let me at least color Mind. did that. okay let me color Soul...okay im just fixing their color palettes...okay just add that to every panel...okay let me get the background colors....slowly and surely, the comic was getting finished! i tried to tackle it one part at a time. it sounds simple, but i find it's very easy to get overwhelmed with how much you have to Get Done. breaking it down into phases and working through each one really helped keep me from burning out and staying motivated!

another thing that helps is deadlines! self imposed ones, to be exact. and those can be as soft or as serious as you choose, for any time you make art. say an anniversary is coming up, and you want to make something for it! that's massive motivation right there. and sometimes it's something you really to have to push yourself to make. i started my little spree week of posting on a specific day to end on the CCCC 2nd anniversary, and some of my drafts (like the comic and anniversary piece itself) weren't finished yet! insane motivation to finally lock in and finish. but of course, don't break yourself trying to make it either, a date is just a date, and you can meet the deadline as you please (reference). if you would be less stressed being a day or week or so late, by all means! sometimes it's just nice to have your own personal projects to work on in the background of whatever else u have going on.

finally, be self indulgent as hell in your work. find whatever you like to see/make in your art, and do it as much as you want! personally, nothing motivates me in making art more than wanting to see my own art. im pretty egotistical, pretty much all of my shared pieces are stuff i personally thought was cool and had fun making. my favorite things to work on are sketches or lineart, mainly revolving around character interactions, be it comedic or insane. i genuinely just love drawing it so much, i go crazy without it, sometimes it's not so much motivation as much as it is a compelling. which works too. and on the flipside, if you don't want to do something, you don't have to do it! for example, i dislike rendering, so i avoid it as much as possible. free will baybe!!

one final note, don't be afraid to walk away from ideas or pieces...you can always come back to them when the time comes! i make a lot of sketches, but it takes weeks or even months for them to get finished into digital works. and that's not a bad thing, in fact, it even helps you decide what ideas truly intrigue you enough to want to go back to, thus making motivation to keep working on them much more easier.

i ramble a lot, but mostly this is just some advice that helps me personally! follow it as much or as little as you wish, and good luck!! (and tysm for the compliment btw, feel free to absorb the way i draw mouths!!:3 ive studied it from other artists and implemented it in my art, and of course anyone can study from me and implement into their own works!! yippee!!!)

[fitzrove]

Now that I'm talking about history sklslsldldld here's another post...

Historical accuracy in fanworks - why?

A recurring thing w me is that people get annoyed with how obsessed I am with historical accuracy 😭😅 Like people have had to physically restrain me from doing 5 hours of research for a throwaway line in a fanfic, and one friend and I once had an hour long argument about word choice... But unfortunately I am just Like This lmao.

The thing is though, it's not because of any inherent sense of superiority or anything like that lol, I just have preferences. Also, I'm not the kind of person that needs everything to be 100% accurate all the time, I can still have fun JAPFLDPGPF. Basically, for me it comes down to a few things:

1. Suspension of disbelief / immersion

With historical fiction, the "he would not fucking say that" kicks in w dialogue easier than w something set in the modern day. Sometimes it's because of glaringly modern language (a 19th century guy going "sup" or something xD) but other times it's because a character is way too familiar with people of a different class, or acts/dresses/speaks too casually in general.

My hugest pet peeve with this are character names for side characters that the author made up 😭😭😭😭😭 As a non-native English speaker I don't really get the urge to insert random English names into my stories even when the stories are in English, I always look up the historical context and try to use names that a parent would give their child in that context. I'm sorry for naming and shaming but in one tdv fic Alfred's surname was Smith and I had to put down my phone because it broke my immersion so badly xD

2. Enjoyment

Historical accuracy can also be a characterisation thing!!! With crown prince rudolf of austria specifically his whole appeal as a character comes from his neuroses, and his neuroses are the specific way they are because of his specific position and status, and all that those entail in his historical context. It makes a story so much more interesting if these are properly taken into account 👀

3. What's the purpose of fanfic?

To me personally the purpose of writing and posting FANfic, as opposed to writing other stories, is threefold:

Making a point about the original story (is it a fix-it fic? An AU reimagining? A canon-compliant elaboration on something I think could expand upon a character's personality or two characters' relationship? These approaches all comment on the original work and its themes and characters.)

Personal enjoyment/self indulgence (I write what I would like to read)

Hopefully connecting with other fans (persuading them to see my Vision re specific characters/relationships, the setting, or the work as a whole; keeping the fandom alive; inspiring other people to make fanwork; providing entertainment; finding people who are the same kind of insane as you and making friends)

To me, putting historical accuracy into my fic or drawing inspiration from history fulfills all of these goals. With the first one: the original work usually comments on its era in some way as well, so drawing inspiration for the fic from that era complements it and keeps them grounded together. IRL history can also give you fun ideas to put in. W the second one: I love late 19th century history specifically and historical accuracy is my kink KSLFPEPDOFO. W the third one: I like sharing weird/funny/interesting historical facts w people so we can enjoy them together 😌 I also like Informing people of things that happened in history so hopefully they can have as much fun w the knowledge as I do. I try not to do this unsolicitedly and in general try to avoid criticising anyone for historical inaccuracies without being asked to because that's boring, I'm not trying to be cinema sins here

4. Exceptions

Sometimes historical inaccuracy is more fun than historical accuracy, though this is highly personal - you just have to do what you think is best and accept that something you enjoy might be something that breaks another person's suspension of disbelief (and hence makes them not enjoy the story). My personal metrics are roughly:

Sojblfpldlpf fun fact an unnamed person and I had a conversation about rudolf's probably not existing [redacted] register last night and while writing a fic about it would be historically inaccurate, the conclusions we arrived at about it were pretty funmy and interesting. With gay and homosexual implications

One of my favourite pastimes is to comb over crown prince rudolf's life and purposefully misinterpret random things as gay KSOGODPFOTK 😌😌😌 it's a good way to get fic ideas. So um yeah idk where I was going with this post haha

[avitus-ostrander]

5 comfort characters & 5 tags

Thank you @sonderlativ​ for the tag

#1 - Varis zos Galvus (Final Fantasy XIV) 

Many of my favorite characters are not necessarily comforting. I do not handle character death exceptionally well. After being brutally emotionally tortured by Blizzard for years as they slowly and agonizingly character assassinated and killed off a character I loved (who at the time was a comfort character, helping me recover from another character death), I was left unable to get attached to anyone. 

Enter Varis.

I remember finishing the ARR MSQ and seeing him show up and thinking “ooh the new emperor is really attractive…” and that was kind of fun. I hadn’t experienced that sort of instant pull to a character in quite some time. It still took an act of will to allow myself to actually get attached to him. And then, after some agonizing, I decided to ship my player character, Aurelien, with him. This was the most self-indulgent thing I had ever allowed myself to do. 

He also got me back into drawing after a multi-year hiatus. If anyone wants to see some random shipping pics, they can be found here. 

He’s a serious, dedicated, deeply flawed person, and I love him immensely. Also, his relationship with my OC is possibly the only ‘healthy’ relationship I have ever written. 

#2 - Millions Knives (Trigun)

This will come as a surprise to (probably) no one who is following me here. 

So I’d been having a pretty difficult time and was struggling a lot. I’d pretty much given up on being alive and was just mindlessly counting down the days. 

Then my best friend suggested we give Trigun Stampede a try. I was skeptical, because reboots often burn me and Trigun was something I loved from my childhood, but I figured if it sucked we could hit the bricks. 

When Knives showed up and announced his presence by playing the piano, I completely lost my mind. I instantly felt something I had not felt in SO LONG. I regained the will to live. I felt EXCITED to be alive again. 

I really tried to fight it for a few days, but I couldn’t. I gave myself an undercut. I smiled uncontrollably at any mention of anything even tangentially related to him. Hearing a single note from a piano made me feel like I was going to faint from joy. Finally, I confessed to my best friend that I was deeply obsessed. 

The reason he does not make the number 1 spot is because this fixation has come with some serious emotional upheaval, as I evaluate some of my unresolved issues that I see reflected in him. And also, Varis is such a minor character that I just didn’t see that much negativity about him. Knives is in the spotlight a lot more, so it can be more challenging to just casually indulge without running into people who hate him. 

No one has to like him and I can see why some people wouldn’t, but he brought me back to life and sometimes I just want to be able to feel happy about that.

[Honorable mention here goes to Legato for helping me through my Knives-based angst when it comes around. He was my favorite from Trigun in my youth and one of two characters I built a character shrine for (if anyone remembers those).]

# 3 - Erwin Smith (Attack on Titan)

This one is a bit more obscure in its reasoning. Levi was actually my favorite character in Attack on Titan, but I wrote this figure skating/hockey AU where Erwin is arguably the best figure skater in the world and, just before he can prove this in competition, he gets injured and has to give up his dream. 

Years later, a bitter and aimless Erwin discovers Levi, who is participating in underground murder hockey tournaments, and decides to take him under his wing. Erwin regains his sense of purpose. Levi stops risking life and limb on a daily basis. And I got insanely attached to Erwin while working on this crazy AU. 

There was a comic I was working on for the prologue for it, but I only got 3 and a half pages in, because I couldn’t figure out how to render the climactic scene. (for those interested: pg 1, pg 2, pg 3) 

#4 - Yuri Plisetsky (Yuri!!! on Ice)

I swear I don’t exclusively like angry blondes… 

But I might (almost) exclusively have them as comfort characters. 

Yuri on Ice is in general one of my comfort shows. I’ve loved figure skating since forever, so an anime about figure skating was a dream come true! It doesn’t hurt that the main characters are adorable. 

But this mega grouch was my favorite. He is angry and standoffish, but really soft on the inside. And he’s an incredible skater. What more could I ask for? 

(Everyone should brace themselves for the potential that everyone on this list will be drawn skating at some point, if they haven’t been already) 

#5 - Malokh Skullsplitter & Auralion Duskwither (World of Warcraft)

So these two are OCs. As such, I don’t have any great color pictures of them. I started coloring this one, but it’s stuck on a tablet that needs fixing. All of my other pictures of these two are even more outdated, so this will have to do.

I haven’t played WoW in ages and am not sure I ever will again, but I still love my characters dearly. 

Aura is a Blood Elf shadow priest. Malokh is an Orc warrior. 

Anyway, Auralion has been my absolute favorite OC for about… 13+ years now? Like everyone else on this list, he is an angry blonde. He’s also a (very slightly) older twin. When I don’t have a current obsession, I draw/write stuff about him. This is not his proper hair. This is his hair growing back after he was nearly incinerated. Here is a picture of how his hair normally looks. 

While Aura embodies a lot of my struggles and I channel a lot of my angst into him, Malokh embodies a lot of the things I feel like I need. It’s about to get kind of personal here so feel free to skip to the end… 

As a little kid, I had the misfortune of simultaneously finding out that death was a thing and that it could be violent and terrible, and I never felt safe again. My parents comforted me by telling me that I was not important enough to murder, and my takeaway was “these people won’t and can’t defend me.” So I decided I would be the person to defend the family. I became a very aggressive, very cruel person because I didn’t feel safe unless I was the worst person in the room. 

But really, all I wanted was for someone to say they would protect me. 

Malokh embodies all the things I wanted as a kid. He is fiercely loyal, compassionate, intelligent, patient, and he would absolutely wreck anyone who threatened the people he loves. 

I have loved orcs since I was a little kid and first played the original Warcraft RTS game. There was something very comforting to me about being so big and strong that you didn’t really have to be afraid of humans. 

I ship him and Aura in the red quadrant (because I do Homestuck style shipping for some of my OCs). 

And Malokh has black hair, so he breaks the pattern!

Anyway, tagging: @skuppycake​, @dragonofeternal​, @evilgeometry​, @setsuntamew​, @arahith​

No pressure if anyone does not want to do this or doesn’t have time! I tried to message everyone to make sure it was okay, but I am not sure if all of the messages got through. I was getting a lot of ‘message not sent’ errors and lately when I try to comment on posts it takes multiple tries for anything to show up.

[cummodus]

Treading the weird line here on like wow all of this is public do I want to be oversharing my whole life out here but yo let's cut

yesss sharing things is already so hard

and to do it publicly like this feels insane but whatever nobody's going to find this or read this it's whatever!!!! feels insane especially because these are things I'm extremely ashamed about in my self so yeah feels odd sharing but somehow also safe enough because I've already shared so much in my other posts and comments and everything something that I've never shared with people in my life

I know it's probably something that's really hard to take credit for or hear about, and because of that, I hope what we already said about Geta above packs a punch because it is so important to also hear that: that what you're doing is admirable, that it is good, and that showing love like that is the single most human thing a person can do.

yeah it is idk I don't know how to deal with compliments in general I never really process them anyway and this especially is not something I see as admirable because well I wouldn't want to live without my sister she and her existence is more important and valuable and essential to me and my wellbeing than I am to her so I guess I just don't see anything admirable about me loving her and taking care of her but I do thank you for your words!

I also know someone who has a disabled sister too and has talked over the years about how hard it can be to love someone so much and want the best for them but the rages and the violence and the shouting and the inability to reason with someone who's throwing tantrums over meals or clothing is just so hard sometimes.

my sister is developmentally disabled, her mental age is somewhere around 6months and she has severe epilepsy, so it's a bit different from that, I personally do not know anyone who has disabled siblings so I've never had that kind of support, but I've also never sought it out so I blame myself for that, I just never thought I could relate to anyone who doesn't have the exact same kind of sibling and exact same situation that we have

so actually seeing Geta experience the same fears and anxities and helplessness and also the love he has for his brother was very weird to see for me, it was very odd that I related to him so. hard. never would've thought I'd get that experience and !!! from a gladiator movie!!!?!! it's so stupid but also why would it be stupid

And like. Our system's structured in a very strict family dynamic, because that gives us what we didn't have in our actual history:

this is not at all the same like in any way but I have always been very taken with family dynamics, strict protective parents and siblings, because indeed they are such comforting dynamics, so safe and just incredibly comforting, so like I get it but I obviously don't, having not experienced that and I am sorry that you have, and I'm glad you guys feel comfortable enough to share with me, and just so you know if I ever say something that's not correct or is hurtful or I sound like an idiot or anything please don't hesitate to bring it up

It's like. I don't know. There's a lot in the dynamic between the twins that we desperately missed/miss in our own life and that our psyche is trying so very hard to patch up for, where some parts of us relate to the other and some the other more strongly for their own reasons.

edit: yeah looking back at this I feel like a fucking idiot and like yeah I don't have to spell it out that that I understand none of this is comparable because your situation was so bad your mind hand to build itself like that to literally survive and I'm like taken with those things and can seek them out in fiction to idk indulge myself?? it's so not at all comparable I'm so sorry but like I guess what I was getting at was that you don't have to feel alone with drawing comfort from those dynamics in your story for example?? but like also just I understand that your mind working like it does is something it Had to do to survive your childhood and I also don't want to make you feel awkward because it must be exhausting having people not know how to talk to you guys I get it and I'm not trying to be like that and I don't want to make you feel like I'm some simpering idiot pitying you or treating you like some kind of interesting case study because I don't I'm just saying like please tell me if I come off that way and like idk virtually give me a lashing or something it's allowed I can take it

When we first watched the film, Geta was immediately the one we attached to, too. Not only for the parts that were present but because in our own life - we've always been protectors. But ironically because that activated those parts, our focus immediately shifted to Caracalla, because the drive to protect is so much stronger than the drive to be protected.

I think by now we've fully earned ourselves a reputation as a Caracalla stan from hell but that's so much because also of how much we relate to Geta, it's just in the weirdest pretzel of a way.

very very interesting to get to know how you see the twins and relate to them and this, that you feel so protective of Caracalla for these reasons and what you wrote before of him, how you relate and how you feel protective of him and how you relate to both of them in different ways

it's so fascinating because the way we see the twins and relate to them and view parts of ourselves in them it vastly different and yet there is something so similar in it as well! I feel like we've understood eachother so well in all our analysis and me reading your story and just all of it!

for me, like we've discussed so many times already that the twins are split as characters and that's why they get to be more broken and that they're the inner and outer voice of one person, for me I really feel like they are indeed just that! the way I relate to them, my inner and outer self

Caracalla for me is very much my inner voice, aspects of me that never get spoken out loud and have almost never been explored except in my mind, not in a way that I could share with people in my life, the many parts of him and all these fucked up broken parts of him, to get to relate to a character like that, it makes it very cathartic to see and read about him, to get to relate someone who is such an inner part of me

Geta is my outer self, something that I'm not as afraid and ashamed about showing and being, a character I relate to more on a base level, his character is parts cathartic but also for some reason more devastating to see and read about, I guess because there is parts of him that I do feel great shame about showing or telling anyone about and also because having him interact with Caracalla, to fill that role and to have that bond which I have with my sister, that same debilitating fear, it's hard to see

and like obviously I also love the twins as themselves too like not only because I see myself in them 😭 it just I guess makes them such compelling characters that I'm obsessed with because I understand them and myself better because of them but even as just themselves they're such amazing characters and they mean so much to me

like I want to be their caretaker like a parent or something despite being the same age as them and also their lover and also just observe as this third person through a lense and I just want them in every way I want to consume them they're my favourite type of fictive characters, just fucked up guys who I want to heal and keep safe and I also want to enable them to continue doing horrible things

as a sidenote - watching Stranger Things with Eddie is the weirdest experience, because "fucked up" in our case also involved an actual witch hunt because our shitty rural town labeled us a satanist and decided we were luring this girl into evil and abusing her somehow (including an invented child sex trafficking ring her grandmother decided we were taking her to?)

i'm so sorry that happened to you guys what the absolute fuck seriously, gotta love rural towns

weird kid who plays World of Warcraft = satanism

factssss tho! obviously every weird child is part of satanistic cult it's just part of the weird child experience and should be normalised!

BACK TO GLADIATOR AND OTHER PERSONAL TRAUMA I'm so sorry you have to read this I got going and now I can't stop basically

do not be sorry! at any point you do not have to be sorry and you have nothing to be sorry for! though apologies constantly is very relatable like idk you probably know already lol

genuinely, we keep making fun of the dudebro audiences every time we go to the movies because this BOTHERS us. The wrong audience is watching this movie. The dudebros hate it because it's historically inaccurate and the characters are weird and it just isn't giving them the machismo hard enough. What the movie seems to be actually looking for is the traumatised and emotionally baggaged young adult audience who has SIGNIFICANT overlap with their freak cast of characters.

yeah this seriously

like sorry I don't relate to the strength and honor!! solidarity between men!! vibe but actually to the freaky and broken ones who are very flawed as people but I just relate to that

and people keep saying the twins didn't have any depth to them and that they felt hard to start to like enough to feel sorry for their deaths?? how is that possible??? I guess by the power of not relating to them at all a person would not feel for them at all maybe?? if they just see them as these store brand versions of Commodus, which they are not even close like they are such different characters from him, so so different

and then didn't look up a single other review because we're that aversed to spoilers - if we had, we would have probably skipped the film.

oh I spoiled the entire for myself before seeing it lmao I don't mind spoilers at all and I just had to know everything about the twins immediately when I found out that they're going to be these freaky tyrants who are actually crybabies, I just couldn't help myself I was like real shit? and looked everything up and became obsessed without even seeing the movie I had to hold myself back from spoiling everything to my best friend too who was like seriously? when I told her yeah I've seen everything already when we finally went to the cinema

the way that they are about each other is so... can I say pure? Like do you know what I mean if I say pure? It is selfless. It's undiluted. Their love and care for one another in their world that is so unsafe is everything to us, and that's the line of rope we've been using to climb down into the places that hurt so fucking much to explore. And we need that help to get there, it's not just going to happen on its own.

I do know what you mean and I agree it is pure and selfless and undiluted and so unconditional

and because their sibling dynamic is pure yes and also lacking boundaries, and they're so I don't know the words so close like children or like animals and yeah see that? my mind immediately goes to comparing them to animals not humans/especially adult humans because I'm so conditioned into thinking that humans are not supposed to seek comfort from other humans, not like that, by being very affectionate and close, it's not normal it's not what stable normal people do, it's animalistic and fucked up

but is it even?? maybe it is?? yet another way I relate to the twins is how separated I am from the outside world and from other people and from an experience of humanness, I just have no real concept of what is normal and acceptable by other people's standards and what is not

I've always thought that clinging to another person and like idk nuzzling them and piling on them etc that's animal behaviour not something that is appropriate for humans, not something that people are supposed to want, it's weird and wrong but maybe I'm completely wrong and it is actually very normal and something pretty much everyone wants and behaves like

I guess it's my intimacy issues too because the adults in my life have not behaved like that and haven't been affectionate to me but I've always been very affectionate with my sister and haven't grown out of it and after becoming aware of myself I've kind of thought that I'm weird and acting like a child or a dog or something because I find comfort in it and I shouldn't? but I've never stopped because I just don't care I've accepted that I'm weird and that it's not harmful to be weird

(Which is also why our therapist is obsessed with us being obsessed. She caught onto this immediately and we've just been exploring everything through the film since, and it's been so like. God the things we're unlocking)

i'm so happy that this movie exists and it's helping you and also others ah this movie is a blessing it really is

when you're hoping for Geta to give his twin the roughing up that he truly deserves, you're not hoping to beat up your sister, but probably more something along the lines of seeing Geta experience the kind of release and relief that he can in his circumstances afford which is both safe and harmless and they both come out of it knowing they love each other.

but if you sit back and watch Geta pin Cara to the wall by his hair, you know he still loves him, and you also know everything about how Cara feels about that at every moment of it, and come out with the certainty that they both understand.

lmaoooo thank you for these images yes that's exactly it and like also because I feel like it would make their relationship more equal more fair, even though fundamentally it is not it's not like their relationship is ever going to be completely healthy and equal etc and no that's not what I want/need from them I don't need them to be "cured" and healthy I just think Caracalla could perhaps handle Geta roughing him up a bit

like I've wondered if it would make Caracalla think of their father, like Geta was abusing him the same way, but - and granted I don't have nearly enough insight into Caracalla's mind to make this assesment - I feel like in a clear moment it would not? like in a clear moment Caracalla could handle it and would maybe even like it? because Geta would not be his "superior" and "stronger than him" which yes he finds safety in those aspects of Geta when he's feeling vulnerable and needs to be taken care of and protected by Geta but when he's not perhaps it would be good for them and they could fight again like they did as kids

It's just a safe way to show the extremes of emotion. Which, uh, reminded me of the whole "why do I want to eat my baby" article and now I'm going to leave this massive autobiography at that with a link:

JDJSKSBDJSDKDKJDJDJD I definitely want to eat and bite and squeeze and pinch Caracalla he's so adorable it's not fair and it's not possible for me to even describe how adorable he is yes he makes me feel extreme emotions

Today's fun research task for Boys and Wolves has involved a lot of extremely depressing case studies of general paresis and dementia, and devolved from there into that guy pinning things at a wall with an insane look on his face meme trying to figure out again what the fuck kind of a disease Caracalla's even trying to have.

Starting to form a solid (as sieves are solid) theory that fits smack in the middle of the historical accuracy of canon. I don't want a PhD in syphilis studies but from all that we've been able to gather there's two prevalent theories of the origin of the disease that then split into rooms of individuals divining tea leaves:

1. it came from the Muricas.

2. it didn't entirely come from the Muricas.

First is simple, there's plenty enough evidence of syphilis existing in the Americas, and the timeline of when it started divine retributioning the European population coincides perfectly. But it wasn't doing that in the Americas, isn't that just fucking weird. There's a lot of talk about how devastating smallpox was to the populations, but nobody ever talks how everyone was already dying en masse from syphilis because that wasn't happening.

Meanwhile, Europeans got exposed to that and suddenly you have a few hundred years of people dying absolutely horribly all over and a whole moral and spiritual panic about it. Reverse theory included in the category of 2: then the Europeans brought it the fuck back to Americas but worse so everyone got to start dying from this version equally. The origins wank is evidently never-ending because when syphilis got out of hand as an epidemic, every single country named it after their least favourite neighbour and blamed them for it.

But then you have archaeological evidence in gravesites of the kinds of bone changes children with congenital syphilis would have from eons before the disease supposedly arrived from the Americas. And you have adult bones with evidence of advanced disease on them. They're rare but they exist and have been found and continue to be found. But if it had been killing people the way it started killing people after the 15th century, you'd think someone would have noticed.

So theories about whether x or y historical figure had syphilis (Caracalla has been theorised, and he definitely had something he was trying to cure by going to every temple he could find on the map to pray for healing, but the only source that illuminates this doesn't care about elaborating on it one bit further and so we don't know) aside due to unproveability, IF they did, was it anything similar to what came to be after the strains mixed with the American ones?

And if not, and we don't know any better, this could be our personal saving grace on the question of how to fix-it a universe where the real last boss encounter is an undefeatable and absolutely horrifying terminal illness hitting one of our mains EXTREMELY too early in full force.

Word of god has said Caracalla has it and that's why he's like that and sure enough, he has the symptoms to back that up. It NOT being syphilis isn't really on the table, and I mean, there's also the direct reference with Geta spilling some truly enlightened beans with the whole "the disease that infects his loins has spread to his brain" like boy do you want like a nobel price for your medical theory because that shit is advanced and you can barely read. (Actually there is no evidence whatsoever to conclusively state that Geta can read, but that's another post.)

Our point being, when it's clear that he has it so in this universe it must then be possible FOR him to have it, if Caracalla's fantasy syphilis was a strain that existed before the disease mixed with the American strain and became the fucking worst thing on earth, then that would conveniently explain his symptoms being all over the place. Guess what else it could do? It'd allow us to draw the convenient conclusion that it isn't nearly as terminal or aggressive as our modern day strain would be, because again if it was, it would be WELL documented in history. Once this thing became mainstream people were fucking horrified and for a good reason because everyone was dying of it left and right. If it had been like that in Roman times, well known for their prolific writers and texts still preserved to date and all the theory and advancements in medicine that originated in that era, you BET it would be recorded.

Is this our Apollo? Can we just whole-hog into inventing our own disease like they clearly did for the movie? That'd be so convenient. So simple. It'd make perfect sense of the whole nonsensical nature of what we were handed to work with in the first place. And it'd allow us to do literally whatever the fuck we want with the timeline, which is the part that is destroying us emotionally at the moment by the sheer graces of being so unforgiving bleak.

I have no idea if any of that made sense because honestly I'm asleep in every sense except the physical, but I think this might be our Apollo.

(Imagine how easy it would be if we weren't autistic in this extremely specific way where everything has to make sense and be realistic and real and backed up by facts or it's a CoNtInUiTy ErRoR or uNrEaLiStIc like bitch you're writing fanfic about a movie where Geta and Caracalla are twink twins who evidently never received any form of training in any subject, don't know what the fuck an Aeneid is, spawned from thin air because their parents aren't even in the timeline, and also are pasty redheads and love each other more than anything. Like if this movie looked at a history book it did not do it to follow the rules. Take a note already holy shit)

[tired-biscuit]

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: odontophilia (teeth fetish), oral fixation. biting, lots of kissing, mentions of oral sex (f!receiving), very self-indulgent stuff. // 18+ mdni, fem!reader

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 0.8k

masterlist

Thinking about Kiba, well, his teeth, specifically.

Besides his keen sense of smell, they are Kiba's pride and joy - his teeth. Are a part of him that makes him visually unique, when compared to other cute boys you know. Are something he tends to show off, which can be expected if you take his rather complacent personality into account.

To be honest, it's all fair and justified. Being blessed with a pretty set like that, who wouldn't grin as wide as he does whenever he doesn't feel like wearing his signature scowl? Who wouldn't show them off a little? He can't even be blamed for it.

And as for you, well, you also love Kiba's teeth. Perhaps even more than he does.

His mouth moves constantly after all, always doing something - anything, tugging at your attention. You just can't help but love how his pearly whites light up his entire face when his smile becomes almost too big for it, and two adorable dimples form in his cheeks as a result.

Love how he has a tendency to drag his tongue along the front of them whenever he's thinking really hard - which is rare, but surprisingly possible if he actually tries. Love how he uses them to chew on those hard candies he likes so much with zero effort whatsoever, making his entire mouth taste like strawberries and tinting it bright red just like the fruit, too.

And besides all of that, you also love how his teeth sometimes click against your own whenever he pulls you in for a hasty kiss. Love how they make a thrill surge through your center whenever your own tongue traces the pointy ends of the fangs he's always been so proud of, and your kisses turn way more feverish because of it.

Love how your body grows hot as he sinks them into your bottom lip every once in a while; sometimes even drawing blood if he gets too eager and impatient during the long make out sessions you make him have with you. All of that.

And you swear that they grow even bigger whenever you play with him and test his already thin line of patience during those sessions; kissing him and grinding against him as you sit on his lap, turning him absolutely insatiable.

His canines start glistening with drool, flashing you their sharpness each time he pulls back to part his lips and take a deep breath. And they look so fucking appealing; those wretched fangs of his. They draw you right in, make you force him to open his mouth a fraction wider, so that you can slip your tongue inside and just lick them whilst your hands caress his face to keep him still; fingers tangling into his thick chestnut hair to try and turn him docile for a change.

And he groans as you do it - as you lick his teeth. He groans, and curses, and bucks his hips into yours like an animal, especially when your lips purse slightly and you start to suck on his incisor. As you turn so messy, multiple thin strings of saliva connecting your panting mouths that you simply refuse to allow to part. As you glide your tongue over and over across the damn fang; until you're so delirious that you cut yourself against it and the taste of iron pools into his mouth and drives him completely insane.

He flips you both around then, because enough is fucking enough, and pins you against the mattress in a matter of seconds. He uses his weight to keep you still, starts covering you in bite marks and lewd hickeys that only stop paving their prominent paths down your body when he feels the need to scold you for fucking around by whispering the dirtiest of things only he could come up with into your ear.

And then his head winds up between your legs, your hands fisting his hair again, and you're squirming on top of the bed; crying because it hurts whenever he bites and nips at the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs, but it hurts so good.

He eases the ache by licking it and blowing cool air onto it, repeating the same painful process over and over again, until you promise that you won't drive him up the wall like that ever again, that you just can't help it, that his teeth are just too pretty.

And when your waterline is burning because of the constant tears, and your mouth is running on never-ending apologies and compliments, legs shaking from the occasional languid swipe of tongue he gives to your sticky little cunt that's so needy you might just burst, he laughs.

"Are you gonna cum for me if I give you a big smile, pretty?" he says, sinking two of his thick fingers inside you; stretching your tiny, drenched hole. "Mm? Are ya gonna spill if I grin just for you?"

You're nodding frantically, your hands pressed against your tits as you're trying to calm down your sobbing and quick-paced breaths.

And the moment he obliges, finally gifting you the grin; you're done for.

[totiredtowrite]

Oblivious

Warnings - Reader has glasses but they're mentioned like twice so feel free to gloss over it if you don't, reader is shorter than oikawa, cursing, reader has good grades & eye bags so if you don't/didn't gloss over that too, also its mentioned that reader has long eyelashes, hate-kissing? (ig that's a thing), sorta risque slightly, not proof read

Note: Uh, self indulgent af, so some of the personality traits are definitely personalized. (Just the high marks, glasses, not being over 6' 1", eyelash thing). Havent written in a while so have this ig, the end might be rushed bc i need to put more content out smh 🤕. Do you know how long this was sitting in my drafts?

FEM ALIGNED READERS (SHE/HER, SHE/THEY), DO NOT INTERACT

the dni is getting both bigger and longer

Oikawa Tooru got jealous easily.

It's not like he won't admit it. Sure he acts whiny sometimes, maybe even childish. That doesn't negate the fact that he's extremely smart though. He understands his own feelings, and he understands that he thrives off of validation from other people. (Not like he's proud of it, but he's working on crawling out of that hole).

And as selfish or narcissistic as it may seem, he doesn't know how to handle it when attention is on someone else. Or, in this case, when he can't seem to get someones attention.

Seriously! With as much shit as he's pulled, not one reaction comes out of you. And that's saying something, as he can weasel something out of anyone.

He isn't sure just where this desire actually came from. Maybe it was the day you were elected as the student council president. Before then, he hadn't even known you existed. If he did note you, it was brief and then he forgot about it. Hell, he didn't even know you ran for president until you were elected! You sat in the middle of the class, ate in the library, and went home. Literally nothing stood out about you to him.

Around that time was when other peoples attention started drifting to you too. Where you were previously some random guy, some student, now people were talking about you all the time. All of a sudden it was all 'the new council president' and 'I talked to him once!'

Now people were saying that you were handsome. That you were 'mysterious.' He hated it. Mostly because even he was starting to see the draw in you. His tunnel vision for your focus was starting to raise some questionable desires too. He won't even deny it, fuck, he wanted to know more.

He wanted to know why you didn't eat with other people. He wanted to know why you were so focused, so diligent, with your work. He wanted to know what you thought about him. For fucks sake, he saw how attractive you were. The bags under your eyes, that tired expression, it was all taking up his head space.

That frustration manifested itself in foolish antics, and, attraction. Embarrassing fucking attraction.

Oikawa was starting to lose his mind.

Only slightly, but he still felt insane.

Waking up this morning was a chore. He jolted out of bed from yet another dream about you. Well, he couldn't see your face, but he knew it was you. He could just tell, with how your skin felt underneath his hands.

It irked him how badly he wanted to cup your face in his hands in real life. He thinks, much to his own displeasure, that you'd look cute with your face all scrunched up. An unnatural growl-like noise emitted from his throat. Iwaizumi tossed him a confused look. Matsukawa and Hanamaki continued with their inane conversation about school budgets.

"If you're thinking about (l/n)-San again," Iwaizumi sighed mid-sentence, "you can stop."

Oikawa huffed dramatically. "I wasn't."

"Yes, you were," Iwaizumi said.

Tooru furrowed his brows. In truth, thinking about you was starting to become a habit. A bad habit, sure, an addicting habit, maybe. Almost like you were a drug. An addictive, pretty drug.

And by god was it hard to quit.

"Just don't do anything stupid," Matsukawa said casually. "You wouldn't want to scare him off."

Hanamaki snickered.

"I don't even talk to him," Oikawa snarled, "And I wasn't thinking about him!"

No one said anything else, arriving to the front gates of the school. Oikawa understood why morning practice was important, he works overtime almost every day, though it always left him slightly sore.

Going about his day sore wasn't fun by any means. Still though, he can deal. Especially since today he devised a plan to get your attention now. Every other plan he had failed to another degree. He went through practically girls in the school, getting a different girlfriend every week, all in the hopes that it would impress you. Make you jealous. Almost as if to say 'Ha, they like me better than you. I bet you're jealous you don't have a girlfriend!'

No surprise, it didn't work. You just continued doing what you always did. Oikawa could get girlfriend after girlfriend, maybe even a boyfriend, and you wouldn't give a shit. He even tried to make it obvious to you, standing near your locker with whoever he was dating at the time and being all lovey with them.

Still nothing.

It was honestly getting infuriating, at this point. Perhaps you were just playing some game, toying with him back because you knew it would make him mad. Because you knew he'd break first. No, today he had a plan.

That's probably how you ended up like this, with his hand by your head and a dark glare on his face. You nervously shuffled, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.

"Uh, Oikawa-san?" You looked up at him, voice soft as always. "What was this about, again?" Truly, you had no clue what he was doing or why he was doing it. All you know is that he was always being weirdly loud with his newest partners near your locker and staring at you from across the room. Your words, however, didn't seem to diffuse the situation.

His other large, pretty hand slammed by the side of your head. "Sorry?" He forced a civil looking smile at you. "Are you playing dumb with me, (l/n)?"

You shook your head so hard you thought your glasses were going to crack.

Oikawa opened his mouth to finally confront you, then stopped. What exactly was he going to say? 'I've been watching you for months and you haven't given me attention?' After he didn't respond, standing there dumbly with his mouth open for a few minutes, your nervous gaze faded. "Are you playing with me?" You asked. "Because I have to get to class."

"No, no, if anything you're playing with me." Oikawa moved his face down and closer to yours, purposely letting his cool breath fan on your lips.

You shook slightly. "I don't- what are you talking about?"

He sneered at you, only slightly. "You know. Parading around being all smart, and not giving a shit when some people try to get your attention, acting like you don't know how infuriating you are!"

You bit your lip, hyper aware of how his eyes tracked the movement. "Was I- uh, was I annoying you somehow? I'm sorry if I was," you said.

Oikawa stopped. This wasn't what he had expected? You looked genuinely worried that you had offended him somehow. Not like an evil boy who knew how to get under peoples skin. Every detail from your face, from the bags under your tired looking eyes to your weirdly long eyelashes, seemed very...innocent. Like you weren't the heinous criminal he made you out to be. (Secretly, he knew you couldn't be that bad).

All at once he was flooded with his old dreams about you and his random fantasies. You were about to say something, though only a choked squeak left your throat as he leaned down to roughly push his lips to yours.

His lips were cool, like his skin. You hardly had the chance to breath with just how aggressive he was, pushing you further back into the wall and cupping your face in his hands. A couple more surprised noises left you before you relaxed into it, deciding that this wasn't all that bad. He was a good kisser, though it's not like that was a surprise. You closed your eyes and leaned into him, basking in this new, extremely odd feeling that just washed over your stomach. It was like you were taking a test, or about to speak in front of the class. It made you feel nervous, excited.

You jolted back suddenly, breaking the kiss when you feel his tongue pushing against your lips.

Shakily, you brought a hand up to wipe off any saliva left. "Sorry," you practically squeaked out, "I'm just- I don't know you like at all! This is the first time we've actually talked and I don't think I'm ready to make out with a stranger-"

Tooru shushed you. "I probably shouldn't have kissed you like that anyways," he shuddered. He was supposed to be giving you a piece of his mind, but here he is, almost shoving his tongue down your throat. Almost shoving his tongue down the throat of some boy.

His senses further returning to him, Oikawa quickly took his hands away from your face and stepped away, masking his disappointment at no longer feeling your warmth. "Just- don't tell anyone about this!" He said pathetically, turning to bolt away into the hallway.

As the classes started to let out, you wondered if anyone could tell how swollen your lips were.

Do not repost, translate, or copy my work on to other platforms.