#sometimes you get on with people sometimes not lol but if it flows it flows so whatever right? idk I’m high but yes
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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not to be about opera again but to be about opera again. as an art form it has the reputation of being super stuffy and something for snobs who don't know how to have fun only but honestly this was one of, perhaps even THE main theatrical entertainment for centuries. i wish people knew how hard these things can go and how engaging they can be. like characters kill and die and fight wars and (almost) commit human sacrifice left and right. characters fall in love they mourn they're ecstatic they cry they're furious it's an extremely dramatic and emotional art form! and i understand that opera does not appear approachable bc of the general conventions of the art form but i promise old works can be fun and engaging if you go watch them with some preparation beforehand (reading the libretto helps) - not to mention not all operas are old bc there are so many modern operas which engage with topical events! also the music slaps.
#le triomphe de trajan (1807) out here calling for a man's execution with this banger:#point de grace pour ce perfide; que tout sons sang coule sur un autel#(no grace for this treacherous man; let all his blood flow on an altar)#this is also annoying to me when people write historical fic and the characters treat the opera as this elitist thing#that they don't know anything about.#you know when they go to the opera reluctantly and then they have no idea what's going on on stage or who the composer is.#which is. very unlikely for anyone with the money to attend an opera in certain opera houses in the 19th c. tbqh#like im more of an expert on paris and vienna idk what it was like in london#but if you were decently (upper) middle class or nobility (esp in paris) you went regularly. this was like a whole social space too#i recently read a fanfic and one of the characters was like 'oh it's in italian. i don't know that' and the other character went like#'it's by a man called donizetti what did you expect'#(this was situated in 19th century london)#like first of all. donizetti was NOT a librettist he was a composer he did not write the text#and second of all. he worked on french operas ?? so did rossini. and spontini.#opera was an incredibly international art form. also bc productions would be performed in different countries all the time#(sometimes changed and/or translated but not necessarily)#and again like i said. this was one of THE main forms of entertainment. people were familiar with its conventions! it was well-liked!#ofc bc of the seating prices it was not very accessible to lower classes most of the time#but lbr most characters that get written into an opera scene in fiction are at the very least decently bourgeois lol#i wish people knew how to properly historicise forms of entertainment whose reputation has changed in the modern era#from what it was a century or more ago#very adjacent to people 'cancelling' old lit bc of 'bad takes' like idk how to tell you this but people thought different back then#completely different world view from what we have today. that does not make lit from that era irredeemable it is just from a diff. time#acknowledging that and reading the text critically but also still enjoying it are things that go tgt here#ok rant over (it is never over)#curry rambles
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Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,
I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.
#speculation nation#this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off.#to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one#but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time.#my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here.#the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years#my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most.#im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession.#it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous.#but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole.#maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth.#that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing.#idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death#to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole?#i dont fucking think so!#yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight#even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death#whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life.#it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!!#and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this#bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about.#but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger...#and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol#anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes.#but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen...#negative/#i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.
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as a huge batjokes shipper i want batman and joker to hate each other in the sense they dont really hate each other, they just have really different goals and see their own version of potential in the other and right now hate is the best word for their situationship. they both love the other for what they could be but neither of them wants to be what the other one wants, and that's equally as frustrating as it is necessary for them to keep existing in their current roles. they're deadlocked and that fate surrounding each other is kind of the point -- we both have to be like this, the opposite of what the other wants, for us to keep existing at all, and for giving me that gift i both love and hate you. it's an agreement. i think the hate that's there now is born from an intense underlying love.
i think batman "hates" joker for being so amazing and smart and cunning, for being able to create grand gestures and schemes, to pull people together under his charisma and make them all believe in something, for being as extraordinary as he is but batman hates that he uses it to hurt people. he hates that joker can't channel his energy into doing something good for the world, that he hurts himself and others just because he wants to be batman's greatest enemy. i think batman wants to help joker but also hates him at this point for joker exhausting him, constantly getting hurt both emotionally and physically by him, joker never trying to improve his situation, throwing away other people's lives, showing batman he loves him by lashing out and hurting him. batman hates joker because he loves his rogues, he wants to help them, and he knows they can do better. he wants to live in a gotham that doesn't need batman but he still needs to be needed, because when there's no batman, what is bruce going to be? without joker, he will continue being batman, but it's an empty crusade. some of my favorite interactions between harvey and bruce are the ones where harvey thanks bruce for "always being there for me, never giving up on me, my very best friend." even with someone like harvey, bruce can still hold onto that hope for his rogues, never give up on them, keep going for them, even if it puts them through the cycle one more time.
i think joker hates batman in the most toxic way possible, but it's still love. i just think he's selfish and doesn't want batman to think about anyone else but him, the same way he operates for batman, but if he must think about other people then joker will make it as amazing as possible! i think he hates batman for wasting his time on ordinary people, people who are so boring that batman claims he has to protect and serve and love them but joker thinks it's all surface-level. batman won't kill joker but he'll leave room for people dying in his crusade. it's a choice he allows, and even if joker knows that's a morally fucked up way to put someone in a box, he doesn't care. batman is the type of person to train himself mentally and physically for decades and dress up in a half-silly-half-menacing costume so that everyone can have an idea about him. batman himself is not normal, and joker knows that and loves that! why is he wasting his time trying to save people that use him, abuse him, don't want him to be the best he can be? i think joker's motivations for loving batman and lashing out as if he hates him lie somewhere in between extreme admiration -- like i truly believe in your cause and that you're the right person to do it, but i'm so angry at you for wasting your time on other people and i'm so hurt and jealous that you choose them over me, just so you can be a hypocrite and let them die if i want them to anyways -- and anger at his hypocrisy -- like it's easy for joker to dedicate himself to chaos and just being in batman's life by putting batman in situations that force him to be a better and better hero, but how can batman sit there and choose and pick what morals he'll uphold and who gets to live and who gets to die?
i want to be your greatest enemy because you are the greatest hero ever, and the only way you and i can keep being the best at what we do is if we do it together, because of what we both believe in.
#does this make sense. they love each other because theyre perfect for each other#but in order to create that perfection they have to do things that build resentment#and in order to ebb that resentment they have to be in constant flux. back and forth. ebb and flow. good and evil. chaos and order.#obsession and indifference.... the two themes i think we miss out on the most bc it hurts when indifference is the opposite of love#and obviously these two cannot be indifferent toward the otther#but when they have plots that do they really fucking hurt!#like when lex luthor comes into the picture and helps joker and joker starts to make batman a little jealous#like okay maybe i dont need you to obsess over maybe any strong ideals can overtake me if u lnow what i mean#and then suddenly batmans gotta prove how well he knows joker and has to be on top of him at all times#um anyways i hope these kind of! made sense!!!!!!!!! djhdkjghijsdfhksdfh#like ideally i think joker just wishes he had batman all to himself but knows he has to share#and hes such a jealous baby that he makes it hard for batman bc of it#and batman is like yes joker jesus fucking christ i love you too but you have to let me have friends#and u have to stop killing people#and jokers like why are you friends with murderers and liars and thieves but IM BAD?#and batmans like bc i actually love everyone and want to help you all and that includes u#and jokers like jo fuck you hypocrtie hahaha see at least in my loneliness i have no laurels to rest on#and bruce is like i may struggle with my morals often but that is only because im always figuring out the best way to keep helping everyone#and if i lose sight of that ill go blind and be like you and then u wont have me anymore#lol sometimes funny tag convos get the dynamic better than the meaty posts#long post#anyways sorry i just havee 2937973957273 thoughts about them and so does everyone and i wanna throw my hat in
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rip i did it, 5 fcking lynels, that was terrible. and now im not even going to wear it much bc im too attached to looking like a little gremlin (even tho rupee padding sure is terrible when you’re trying to farm rupees oops). if only i could wear the mask on top of the blupee headgear...
#legend of zelda tears of the kingdom#loz totk#sammy liveblogs about totk#going to the final boss room for fun without having completed the main quest (aside from getting the master sword)#was kinda fun#but by the time i got to 4th boss i was running low on shit bc i didn't come prepared#and at half hp it was like lol what if you do this fight but now with adds#and i said ok fck this im done i dont even know what the fuck im supposed to do with the shit you put in the arena im leaving#honestly smoke bombs are a little busted#and then i had to fight 5 fucking lynels to get majora's mask and none of that shit works on them so#the funniest thing about wearing the mystic headpiece#aside from it flowing in the wind#is that the intro cutscene for the zora boss costed me 10 rupees#like BRO WHAT U MAKING ME PAY TO WATCH THIS CUTSCENE#DO PEOPLE START THAT FIGHT HAVING TAKEN DAMAGE?#IT LITERALLY HAPPENED TWICE (i reloaded bc i accidentally threw a weapon off the fucking map like an idiot)#sammy be quiet#sammy no#i do like the ember armor headgear tho so i wear that sometimes#i dont want to fight gleeoks for the final upgrade on them rip#i forgot to mention in the tags last night so im adding them now#the hylian shield did a lot of work for when i missed my dodges#i knew my dodging wasnt going to be perfect so i had to make sure to spam b after rushing when i was using a claymore#hylian shield is fucking crazy#i mean in botw i used it to surf... like a lot... and it never broke#i know where to rebuy it if i have to in totk#but i can also just throw it at rock octorocks so#and the last time i had thrown it#it got durability up +#like the fckinng second tier durability
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Do you ever listen to someone speak and marvel at how smooth, free-flowing, and free of pauses it is?
Because I sure do. I can’t do that.
Maybe that’s why I feel like most people’s speech is insincere even when it isn’t… because it sounds like how I would recite or read a script. That explains why I view people who aren’t native English speakers, have a heavy accent, and take long pauses to think of the words they need to say as being more trustworthy… because my cadence is similar to theirs; and we both stumble over words.
#I feel like that little kid “If you ever had a dream where— you want— you wish— if you could— you want….”#I���m not that bad; but I come very close to sounding like that sometimes LOL#I feel like I spoke more smoothly as a little kid…#but that’s probably because my verbal communication is almost at the same level it was at when I was eight years old#Like those people who have a growth spurt but end up being on the short side as adults because they stop growing immediately after#I figuratively shot up to 5’0” in third grade and never grew past that point#(with regard to clarity and flow specifically; not vocabulary… my vocabulary has definitely grown a LOT#but that’s only because I get sick of writing or talking in the same way for longer than a year… which is why I currently sound#like a pretentious 20th century englishman whenever I write fiction)#I have no “real” vernacular because I don’t feel comfortable with having a personal vernacular…#because using the same patterns of words over and over again for the same situations counts as para-scripting and feels fake#(to me)#sometimes I hear someone use a new word I’ve never heard in conversation; and I say “Cool! I’ll use that word myself.” But I later realize#it’s not just a fun one-time usage of a word; but it’s a catchphrase they say all the time and forsake any common synonyms of the word#— I assume — solely for the purpose of sounding smart to others (their behavior usually justifies my assumption; because these people#act like they’re better than everyone else)#And sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing; and I switch to a different word or format than I’ve been using; out of nothing#but embarrassment and twisted perfectionism#Or sometimes I come off the high of using lofty words and want to speak in a more commonplace way#and after awhile of that I start thinking “Wait a minute wait a minute…. Now I’m just trying to sound cool and normal.#This isn’t how I talk.”#But the truth is I really feel spoken language is an insufficient medium for communication.#I want a language in which the speakers pry open each others’ chests#rip out each others’ hearts; and rub them together#But at the same time it kills me that I cannot do the same amount of tonal shapeshifting when speaking#especially when my default (socially-acceptable) speaking voice sounds extremely airheaded#I’ve been trying to use larger words and more archaic sentence structures in speech lately and it feels good#but also like I’m trying to show off (even though I’m not and that’s just how I’d prefer to speak)#even then… all my speech patterns are copied from somewhere#It’s been a years-long identity crisis and I want it to end
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Be proud of me y'all, I'm standing up for myself
#talked with a friend last night about my passiveness and honestly i kinda needed that talk lol#didnt... address the thing we were talking about but#ive built the courage to address OTHER things that have been bothering me (mainly at my workplace)#confronting people is hard but goshhhhh#you gotta do it sometimes#u rlly rlly do#ill get to the bigger issue eventually but for now ill take small steps and get the confidence flowing
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#it's really hard sometimes to feel like what i do is enough#and that it isnt trash#i know i always tell people not to compare myself with others and to just create for the sake of creating because it makes you happy#but i'm finding myself falling deeper into self-loathing at my own creations#i'm not going to stop#it just sucks#i have no idea how to inprove or where to start to do so#i feel like simply creating and learning through trial and error isnt fast enough and i fall behind#or more realistically i was never ahead to begin with#anyways thats my rant#just wamted to say it without saying it to a person in particular because i dont care to burden anyone with my feelings#so if you saw this no you didnt lol please ignore#it also doesnt help when i was going into SUCH a good flow but then my husbamd comes home early because a wrestler he loves just died#and he can't handle it. but i dont want to be an asshole and leave him alone during this time.#but i feel like i NEVER get time away from him and just- do what i want to fucking DO unabashedly and without hiding#idk i sound and feel like an asshole but like... he's SO dependant on me it drives me insane and all i want is to be in my house that i pay#for alone for once... literally fuck my life#i can never have just ONE full day away from LITTERALLY anyone to just. be. ME.#and it's killing me
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☆ he got that in him
shy bf jungwon ! (18+) 🪽 🦢 ☀️ 🫧
a/n: i feel like this isn't rlly jungwon :( !! but it's all just fiction 🙄 and i just love this man sooo much. please do let me know if there are typos! i do go over before i publish but i sometimes miss it 😢 reqs are open !! don't be afraid to ask :)
✧ pairing: idol!jungwon x influencer!reader + warnings: smut with plot YAYYY. dom!jungwon x subfem!reader, unprotected sex (don't do that), jungwon hits it from the back lol, riding, ass slapping, degradation (use of the words whore, slut, etc), pet names (baby, won, wonnie, etc), size kink, orgasm denial (so mean jungwon), rough sex, jungwon is such a shy guy wrapped around your finger in public, but is such a freak in bed it’s insane.
word count: [2.8K]
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you quite literally needed jungwon every second in your life. your attachment to him was so strong it was sometimes concerning.
"are you sure you don't want to just go with me in my car?" your boyfriend asks, walking out of your bathroom with a towel wrapped around his lower waist.
you didn't respond but instead stared at the muscles on his stomach, watching how his lower abdomen sucked in a little bit and you were so entranced by the sight infront of you, mouth watering slightly. your whole world stopped for a bit to just simply admire yang jungwon.
you're finishing up some assignments for class. you decided that you're joining jungwon at his group's house gathering an hour or two later than the time he's arriving. you didn't have to worry about missing out too much, the gathering will be going on for a while.
it was jake who decided to throw a mini gathering, including all of the members, and a few other people including you. the gathering including your favorite, an outdoor barbecue and bonfire.
"yeah won." you frown, "have to finish this thesis or else professor jeong will not give me the end of it." scoffing at the mention of your professor. you turn around and your eyes nearly pop out of your socket at what you see. "actually.. are you sure we even have to go..?" you tease, now standing infront of your boyfriend and teasing the sides of the towel that could be down with one small tug, wanting to pull it off your boyfriend.
"quit it perv!" jungwon jokes, "you'll get what's under this towel later tonight." he winks, wrapping a hand around your waist to give you a kiss, you whined when he pulled his soft lips away. "now be a good girl and finish your assignments, i'll see you there in couple hours." patting the back off your ass playfully. going to the closet and picking out an outfit.
you curiously watch your boyfriend style his hair, focus completely shifted from the work you had left with school. "don't you have some assignments to finish?" eyebrows raising at your eyes not blinking once.
"yeahyeah your right." you respond a little flustered, a slight tint flowing on your cheeks. jungwon walks over to your desk, placing a kiss on the top of your head. "see you later baby." then he walked out of your room.
you sigh, already missing the presence of your jungwon. it takes another hour and a half before you're finished with all of your assignments for the week. closing your laptop aggressively, victory filling in your head as you don't have to worry about completing your work this weekend.
you're quick to change out of jungwon's t-shirt, putting on a pair of dark green cargo shorts that hugged your thighs perfectly, and a simple white baby tee with the brands cute logo on the back. grabbing your keys on the counter by the door, dashing out the door, to your car. you had a feeling that you wouldn't be returning home tonight, instead staying over at enhypen's house.
"what's that look on your face jungwon? missing y/n huh?" jake teases him. "she's got him wrapped around her finger! see how she always initiates everything!" jay adds on. "she probably controls ALL the shit that goes on in bed!" someone else says.
"i am NOT talking to you guys about my bed activities." the members laughing at jungwon's quick defense. knowing they're right, atleast they think so.
arriving at the house, you might've underestimated the weather, feeling a little bit cold as you welcomed yourself in, kicking your shoes off at the entrance, carrying them with you to the backyard to put them on again.
"look who's here! we were just talking about you!" ni-ki greets you. "nothing bad i hope." you respond, "don't worry it wasn't anything bad! just talked about how you've practically got jungwon wrapped around your finger." sunoo says, maybe he ran his mouth a little too much, sunghoon glaring at him as sunoo placed both of his hands over his mouth.
you laugh in response to that, "jungwon's just such a loving boyfriend. i really hit the jackpot with this one." beaming at jungwon, you were being held with one arm around your waist. jay started the barbecue and the rest of the members went to help with setting up everything.
jungwon noticed your body slightly shivering. "are you cold sweetheart?" "mm, just a little bit" murmuring that as a reply. your boyfriend taking off his sweatshirt that he was wearing and putting it on you. "i'm not that cold anyways. gotta go help set up stuff, karina's by the pool chairs." he gives you a kiss on your cheek.
"nice arms" you tease, moving one of your hands to squeeze his now bare biceps. you were definitely going to thank heesung later for urging jungwon to frequent the gym more. that white t-shirt was hugging all the right parts of jungwon's upper half.
"not right now baby." he speaks in a low voice to you, "can't help it you look so hot right now." whining and looking up to your boyfriend. jungwon leans down to give you a quick kiss on your lips. karina's waving over to you as you walk towards the poolside, giving a quick turn to see your boyfriend immediately jump in to help with setting up the table.
"girl you have been oogling and staring at your boyfriend for the past five minutes now, without saying anything!" karina says, waving her hand in front of you, making you finally blink again for the first time in a few minutes. "seriously thank your brother for me. he's been taking jungwon to the gym more often." your best friend just scoffs at you in amusement.
"dude, y/n has not looked one second away from you." sunghoon points out, nudging jungwon with his elbow. the members snicker at jungwon's flustered reaction, going back to setting up the table.
"jungwon!" you call out, jungwon jumps at the sudden sound of your voice. "yeah babe what's up!" he exclaims, nearly stuttering at every word. "were you guys bullying my boyfriend." you frown at his fellow members, "because he only gets like this when someone's been teasing him."
"no definitely did NOT!"
"sure, sure." you roll your eyes jokingly, turning to jungwon with a mischievous glint. now he knew that you were up to something.
"won, i think i left something in your room when i was staying with you a few days ago, can i go look for it?" "yeah i'll help you find it pretty." the other members not noticing you and jungwon disappearing, too focused on the food grilling on the barbecue and setting up the table.
walking into the house, your eyes are set on the entrance of jungwon's room, looking behind you and throwing a smirk at jungwon, quickening your pace to his room door. but you felt yourself being tugged into the bathroom.
"do you enjoy teasing me infront of everybody?" he growls, using a hand to hold both your cheeks and turn you to face the bathroom mirror infront of the counter, his other hand gripping your asscheek. you don't respond, eager for jungwon to bend you over the counter and just fuck the shit out of you.
"i asked you a question baby." jungwon says, staring directly at you on the mirror. hand gripping your asscheek a little tighter. you whine and push your hips back, feeling his bulge rub against your clothed ass, shorts rising up and you continued your movements. "need you so bad wonnie please." your boyfriend laughs at your neediness. using both of his hands to grip your waist and hold you in place.
"i don't know sweetheart. you've been teasing the fuck out of me since you've got here." jungwon murmurs, unbuttoning your cargos shorts, sliding your panties down to your knees and moving two of his digits to collect your wetness. "please jungwon! i can't help it that you feel so good everytime!" you babble attempting to wiggle your hips side to side. jungwon finds you so desperate for him to be so amusing.
"you enjoy being a needy whore for me don't you? the way you're dripping around my fingers show me that you do." humiliation tints on your face as you look at yourself on the mirror. it's thrown away when you feel two of jungwon's digits enter you all of a sudden.
you let out a gasp at the intrusion, the stretch of his two fingers hitting you so deep as jungwon already sets a relentless pace, his other hand moving up to push your hair to the side, trailing soft kisses on your exposed collarbone.
"oh shit wonnie, feels so good!" you moan, shutting your eyes as you revel in the feeling of jungwon's fingers working wonders deep inside your cunt. your small noises spurring jungwon to add a third finger.
the feeling of him scissoring and hitting your g spot repeatedly made the pleasure feel so overwhelming. "you gonna close baby?" jungwon noticing the way your pussy tighten and swirled around his fingers. in response, you nodded.
feeling jungwon's pace fasten, your pussy clenches around his digits so tightly, you felt that knot in your stomach about to be undone, but wait… that feeling fades when jungwon pulls his fingers out abruptly, laughing at your pathetic attempt to grind back against him.
"two more hours until i fuck the absolute shit out of you." your eyes widen as you whine at your boyfriend's words. jungwon helped you pull your panties back up, along with your cargo shorts. he gives your ass a playful smack, making you turn around and throw a pout at him.
"you're so mean." your lips curl into a frown looking at the way jungwon has no remorse.
. ✦ · .
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀˚ ⊹ ˚
⠀⠀ ⊹
the sounds of your and jungwon's lips smacking against each other filled the room. everyone else being long asleep, as it was pretty late in the night and the gathering ending a couple hours ago.
all that was left on your was your bra, thin material barely holding together your tits that jungwon adored and worshipped so much. the straps slid off your shoulders, being pulled down and showing your lucious tits. with your bra not even being properly off, jungwon's hands grabbing at your boobs, nipples in between his fingers as he twisted and fondled at them.
you let out low sighs of pleasure, feeling like jelly from your standing position, you would've fell down if it wasn't for jungwon's tight hold. "fuck baby, i would have you blow me right now but i need to fuck that sweet pussy of yours." your boyfriend manhandles you onto your front, onto the bed.
"arch that back for me pretty." jungwon says cursing at the slight of your slick dripping out of your spent pussy, down your legs. if only his fellow members knew he had you wrapped around his finger like this. the way you begged for him to fill you up with his thick cock that sent you into an overdrive of pleasure, fat tears streaming down your face as you go thru an intense orgasm.
and you didn't care to conceal or cover your sounds. jungwon completely forgot about that.. only focused on ruining you tonight.
but before all of this, he gave you a prior orgasm by eating you out. the sight of your needy hole throbbing, practically looking like it was ready to pull his cock in made jungwon let out a long groan.
loosing all of his patience to tease you any further. jungwon's hands are on the side of your hips guiding you to the position. you turn your head, tears slightly fogging your vision, seeing how jungwon slid off his boxers and gave his cock a few harsh strokes, you admired the veins that were decorated along his length, his pre-cum oozing out of his mushroom tip. you were entranced by the sight, mouth watering as you watch jungwon align his tip with your entrance.
circling his tip around your wetness, collecting it on his tip to use as lube. he pushes into you, one hand on your hip, and the other pushing your face into the pillow to try to suppress your loud shrieks and moans of his name. it didn't really help much because the walls were quite thin.. and the sounds of his hips smacking against the the soft plush skin of your ass echoing around the room.
you really tried to contain your sounds, hips pushing back to feel more of jungwon's cock stuffed deep into you. a hard smack lands on your left ass cheek. "naughty girl, is this not enough for you?" you mouth shapes into an 'o' as you felt jungwon increase his pace, relentless strokes hitting all parts of your body so so good.
"oh shit." you groan, eyes rolling head spinning at the sensation. it was nearly impossible with the speed jungwon's cock kept sliding in and out of you. "such a fucking pretty cockslut for me." jungwon groans, the feeling of your walls tightening around him from his words. he moves his hands to spread your asscheeks to see the way your tight walls you envelop his dick over and over again.
you let out a particularly loud moan when you feel your orgasm approaching, jungwon stopping his movements briefly to pull your head up, "shush baby, you don't want everyone hearing you like the cockwhore you are do you?"
"ngh no! too good wonnie i'm close pleaseplease?" you beg, attempting to move your hips back, jungwon's grip was too tight, just simply laughing at your state. he goes back to his moment, one hand pushing your face into the pillows, but the sounds were still quite loud, your muffled moans only spurred jungwon on more.
you lift your face up from the pillow telling jungwon that you're close, he knows by the way your body is tensing up, cunt clenching around his length so impossibly tight.
his fingers moving to your clit and rubbing your pearl as your release approaches, the coil in your stomach finally snapping around jungwon as you drop your body back onto the mattress, arms giving out and just leaving your whole upper body to rest on the sheets.
a laugh falls out of jungwon's mouth as he look at the state of you, slowing down his pace as he finishes inside of you, pulling out and seeing his cum dripping down the insides of your thighs. patting your ass softly, jungwon leans over you mumbling against your ear, "just one more pretty. i want you to ride me."
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀˚ ⊹ ˚
"oh shit" you moan as jungwon finally bottoms out in you, your walls flutter around his walls causing him to throw his head back and groan at the feeling of you. hands placed on both of your hips in a tight grip, moving you up and down on his cock. another moan escapes your lips when one of his hands move to slap one of your ass cheeks, his hand easing the sight pain afterwards. "ride me like you mean it pretty."
jungwon's hands leaving your hips and rests behind his head, enjoying the sight in front of you, your eyebrows furrowed as you try to find a good pace, soft moans of his name repeating like a prayer over and over, it was all just too good.
finally finding a good pace, you feel tired as your pace slows, jungwon groans at the feeling of his cock practically splitting you open. finally giving you some help and moving his hands back to your hips as he moves you up and down.
"mmph jungwon! m' close!" your hands find placement on both sides of his shoulders, velvety walls tightening around his length again.
"come for me y/n." was all it took for you as your eyes rolled back, nails digging into his shoulder as jungwon finishes at the same time as you, stilling his movements and painting your walls white.
⠀⠀ ⊹
your body is sprawled on the sheets, eyes half lidded as your boyfriend brings you up to help you redress yourself in a new set of clothes.
"you're insane." you sigh, knowing the next morning that your legs will be limp. jungwon laughs at you, giving you a small kiss and lays himself beside you.
as the morning comes, jungwon greets the other members a good morning, but an awkward silence is met. jungwon raises and eyebrow at the silence and the way his fellow members looked at him.
"holy shit jungwon! we didn't know you got that in you!"
#lee writes ! ‧₊˚ ୨ ୧ ˚₊#jungwon smut#jungwon x reader#jungwon enhypen#enhypen smut#yang jungwon#yang jungwon smut#yang jungwon scenarios#yang jungwon imagines#jungwon imagines
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astro thoughts - short n sweet <3 pluto in the house
Pluto in the 1st house - Very strong auras. Could deliberately see through bs a mile away. Not gifted in being friendly, lol just kidding. Their not 'nice' though. And they don't have to be. They don't like faking the funk so this pretty much gives them an interesting outlook on people and they way they see themselves. Can shift the whole room with just their magic. Can be very intimidating to some, but very inspiring to others.
Pluto in the 2nd house - Could have financial issues from time to time. Not likely to say the same thing twice, if they said it once they meant it. Dont bother them again about it. These individuals can use their psychic senses to make money if that is what they wish, they could be very therapeutic to say the least. Give em a chance, they really wouldn't hurt a fly.
Pluto in the 3rd house - There speech is very compelling. They could hold a room with just their words and it could open the minds of a few listening to them. They have a gift in impacting you with just the way that they think, making you beg for more each day at a time.
Pluto in the 4th house - Could of had a transformative experience at home and I don't mean that nicely. There are somethings that should be left unsaid but sometimes things need a reawakening. They don't seem to let things go here.. but why would they? There past is like a haunting story awaiting to be unraveled just so you can piece together the puzzles that we're left unfinished. They are quiet when it comes to their personal life and hide themselves from the world so that you won't get an inkling of what truly is masked behind the bushes.
Pluto in the 5th house - Very deep bonds with their art work and can do a performance like no other. They will have you feeling every bit of emotion in their vibration just to help you feel what the character is feeling. I noticed there are a lot of good actors with this placement. Anywho, they have a powerful presence and when it comes to dating them or even just experiencing them for a little while it can be a transformative, healing experience for people involved with them.
Pluto in the 6th house - Like their martians mates in the 6th house, these people can have a pretty interesting experience here. They have a tendency to be obsessive over what they want so they work as much as they can until the wheels falls off. This could become a problem if they don't think to chill out on working and sacrificing their well being for something out side of themself.
Pluto in the 7th house - Deep, penetrating raw auras. Could be self-reflective on the way they see things, themselves , others and just the world at large. They have a gift of discernment but most of them never use the gift and can get caught up into the wrong things sometimes. There is more than what meets the eye with these individuals. They never let others in so easily, sometimes they're worth the wait. ;)
Pluto in the 8th house - Really good at seeing through things that others just can't seem to pick up on. Really gifted in occult sciences. Have issues with commitment and could have trouble with individuals because of traumatic experiences in past lives or current one. Could have people who want to be around them just to unravel them, but not really want to be with them. Have a very mysterious presence, hard to read.
Pluto in the 9th house - Very interesting and their thoughts can penetrate the mind in so many ways. They will leave you speechless when its all over. They travel to different places all the time but they are pretty good at finding places that match their flow, and love ot bring anyone along for the ride. There just a different layer to them that no one really knows how to explain, but its a gift that keeps giving.
Pluto in the 10th house - Woah. Thats the word to describe em. Its their touch and raw auras that keep you on your knees. VERY strong personas and do not like being talked down on. Could use their experiences/circumstances to their advantage. Gifted and seeing beyond what no one wants to believe is true. They can have the world if they know they got it in them already. Hard headed but gets to the bag with just their two feet. No one else can beat them at their own game.
Pluto in the 11th house - Whew. These people have a spell on the people that no other pluto house placement can compete with. The issue is these people don't know how to use that power but thats not all that bad. They can have people do things for them because something about them just makes people want to do things for them.
Pluto in the 12th house - very odd things comes out of the mind with these individuals. The subconscious/dream world is the most important part of their day to day because it rules the present in a way that cant be controlled but must be felt. How are you doing living a life that no one seems to live? It seems like they are all alone, but the world is calling for them to give them all the answers.
Talk to me in the comments, let me know how yall feelin! <3
#astrology thoughts#astrology theories#astrology#tropical astrology#astrology observations#spirituality#astro observations#astro knowledge#short n sweet astro#deja's astro observations
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thinking about konig asking to eat you out and you being like “lol no i’m on my period.” and he’s all “ohhhh idc idc i wanna eat it so bad 🥺” and you need to be like no. buddy. you clearly do not get it. i am not a 2-3 day period, “who needs pads i’ll just freebleed” girlie. i am a 7-8 day, heavy flow, bleed through the pad girlie, lmfao.
and then he eats it anyways because not only has he been around so much more blood than you could ever imagine but also he’s lowkey highkey into it teeeheeeeeeee ;P
"Schatzen, I kill people for money. You really think I'm scared of a little blood?" You wasn't nervous of the fact he wasn't scared of a bit of blood - even though it was not, in fact, just a little. Even though it was, in fact, a lot and made you ask him to bring you newer pads. You didn't really think he would be scared of a bit of period blood - but you were fucking terrified at the fact that he seemed to adore it. To cherish every drop, till the last one - to press his face between your thighs and look at you like a kitten who wants a bit of cream. The thing is, Konig missed you. Returning from a two month contract only meant he was ready to destroy your pelvis and fuck you for every hour he is on leave - unfortunately, he can't quite do that, you're too fragile to take his cock four times per day...but you can take his tongue. Even if that means having the metallic taste cling to his tongue for days on end, he would gladly spend the whole week buried in your cunt, relishing in your taste. It's a nice way to deal with cramps, he might think. Konig literally read one article about how orgasms can sometimes help some people with their cramps, and he'd use this for the rest of his life. Oh, your stomach is hurting and you feel like your womb is trying to eat you from the inside? Just let him eat you out! No matter how many times you push him away and beg for him to stop, he'd still laugh and push his tongue deeper, over and over. He is a mercenary, he is getting paid tons of money to cover himself in blood of his victims - having his pretty girlfriend cry and cum on his tongue is a nice addition. You don't even question it when he starts to track your periods, knowing you'd have it even when you forget - you don't question the dates he literally keeps posted on your shared calendar, don't care that the amount of heating pads in the house had largely diminished - and he won't buy you a new one because he is much better at being a heating pad anyway!
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Your future spouse/partner: Pick a pile Tarot reading
*************
Pile one - Amethyst
Who are they?
This seems like someone who likes to be in control. There’s certain structure and order to things that they like to maintain and anything that happens that they didn’t anticipate they tend to panic but they also don’t like to show it. This need for control and power and staying stuck in a very masculine energy is from a need to work on their self-esteem. I think deep down they know they don’t “fit in” which is what makes them overcompensate in other areas of their life. They could mirror your energy a lot as well. Deep down they’re emotional beings and all they need is love and comfort, though again they might not say it out loud. they’re sensitive too but cover it up with a hard exterior. They may not like to show their emotions easily to others. They’re probably very creative and intelligent as well, though they may be hesitant to take any risks. They also value their solo time or are in desperate need for it. They probably have a lot to unleash creatively and may be working on it. Their feminine energy is begging to be released, to create some sort of balance and again they may be working on that right now. They’re very protective over people they love and might share a very close relationship with their mother or a maternal figure in their lives. In a relationship they’re receptive and nurturing and there’s a quiet tenderness to them that draws people in.
* Capricorn, Pisces and Virgo or Taurus might be significant placements
What the relationship will be like?
I think that this person might be used to surface level relationships because they’re so scared of opening up but with you there’s a sense of familiarity and it forces them the reckon with their old ways of thinking and communicating and overall how they go about their relationships. There might be some time for them to open up and share their feelings candidly with you but once they do, the flow of communication between you two will be loving and understanding. You’ll slowly bring them out of their shell. You’ll bring about a sense of balance in their lives and they probably will be able to show a lot more of their creative and sensitive side to you eventually because of the trust that’s been built between you two. They might initially want something casual or not that serious at first but because of the connection they feel with you, they’re going to be forced to face things they’ve been pushing away for a long time. It’s very tender and sweet between you two and your love language might be words of affirmation or acts of service
Pile two - Rose Quartz
Who are they?
They’re hard workers and very loyal but there’s a playful and passionate side to them as well. They’re the type of person that everyone is happy to be around and there’s a sense of childlike wonder to them that makes them intriguing. They could lowkey be players but they are very loyal once they’re in a relationship. They love to have fun and they could also be weird in an endearing way. I heard “match my freak” lol. They could be sensitive to other people’s energies and they don’t like seeing or making other people upset. They’re unconventional in a lot of ways. They’re intelligent and open minded though they could be moody sometimes. Especially if they get burnt out from work. They don’t get pissed off easily but once they do … they could be quite harsh with their words especially. The energy is delightful and quirky. They could be geeky as well.
* Gemini, Aries, Sagittarius and Libra energy coming through strongly.
What the relationship will be like?
Okay firstly words of affirmation might be a bit love language between the two of you. They value you. They could put you on a bit of a pedestal actually, lol. They’re very thoughtful as well and I heard that things are easy between you two right off the bat. Like conversations flow easily and banter. They’re soooo loving. Like they love to express their love to you and they find you hella attractive. They may think you’re out of their league. I’m picturing Leonard and penny from big bang theory. That might be a show you both love as well. You love to make each other laugh and the intimacy between you is otherworldly. They notice the small things about you and you both value each other. They may the first ones to say “I love you”
Pile three - opalite
Who are they?
They’re fiercely loyal and protective and they’ve been through a lot in the past. Lots of heartbreak that may have caused a sense of insecurity within them. But they love like no other. They’re protective and trustworthy and are big on building trust in a relationship first, no matter what kind of relationship it is. I sense that they might be spiritual as well.hard to grasp too much about them so they might be mysterious too. Their souls are beautiful and they might have gone through a major spiritual transformation or awakening recently. They might be working on healing their heart chakra due to the trauma from previous relationships that they’ve faced. But I get such a strong energy from them either way. Like when they love someone they love HARD.
*Leo energy is super strong in this reading as well as Libra and Gemini
What the relationship is like?
There’s so much of Leo energy here id be surprised if they didn’t have Leo placements of fifth house placements. This relationship is sooo supportive. You guys are each others biggest cheerleaders. I said “aww” so many times for this part of the reading. You make each other super happy and you’re both willing to work hard on the relationship. Like there’s mutual effort here and understanding. You might have manifested this person into your life. I heard “long time coming”. You may already feel this persons energy strongly. You have a way of helping each other through any anxieties or doubts easily. For some of you** there could be babies that come in very early and the relationship might move quite quickly. But it’s because there’s like no doubt about each at all. You both know you’re each others person right off the bat.
Pile four - Aquamarine
Who are they?
They’re very blunt lol. But they have a way with words. They’re extremely charming and intelligent. And they value family a lot. They’re highly intuitive too. They’re very self assured and they’re loyal too, to everyone they love. They’re very direct to people about how they feel and they may come across strange to some. But there’s still something super intriguing about them because their energy is very high vibrational. They might not like beating around the bush and are good at observing others. I feel like it would be hard to lie to this person too. Like they immediately pick up that you’re speaking shit lol. They’re very spiritual and creative. They could be big on being very healthy and like fitness freaks too. They’re the types to love studying even if they don’t always need it. They love learning about new things all the time and the way to their heart is probably through their minds first. They could have psychic abilities as well and can be hypersensitive. They’re very sure about what they want in their lives too.
Strong Gemini, Aquarius, Libra and Leo
What is the relationship like?
Pile four this might be your divine counterpart. The energy is very strong and this relationship is extremely important in your lives. They might have taken a while to come into your life and vice versa but patience is virtue! And trust me it’ll be worth it. They feel very lucky to have you in their life. They love you so unconditionally and you guys get a long like a house on fire. There’s beautiful energy flow between you two and you’re very supportive of each other. You accept each other wholeheartedly and I hear that it’s not something you’re used to. You might have been in very difficult relationships before. You two have a lot in common and can relate to each other in a lot of different ways. They expose you to new ways of loving and spirituality and sexuality. It might be scary to go into this relationship heart first but something about them makes both of you embrace the unfamiliar. Beautiful energy again. Air signs coming through strongly again.
#tarot guidance#daily tarot#tarot reading#pick a pile#future spouse#love readings#tarot cards#pick a card#astro notes#astrology
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I’d really like something like billie and reader are together for a while now, everybody supports them but ONE friend of billie. they managed the situation but when billie surprisingly proposes this friend decides to talk to billie and declare her feelings, while doing it reader arrives in the room and shit hit the fan lol billie being the good fiancée we know she’ll be gets on reader side ofcccc
am i crazy? you can say so
The Confession That Almost Broke Us
Word Count: 1,130 words
Warnings: Angst, jealousy, unrequited love, emotional confrontation
a/n: okay so this is interestinggggg i love drama bro and if i was lana maaann, i would be crashing out 😭😭
You and Billie had been together for almost two years now, and life was good. You fit into her world like you’d been meant to be there all along. Billie’s friends and family had embraced you with open arms, thrilled to see her so happy and grounded. But there was always one person who seemed a little distant—Lana. She was one of Billie’s oldest friends, always hanging around on the periphery, smiling politely and keeping her comments to herself. You’d tried to shake off the weirdness between you, but sometimes, when she’d look at Billie, you couldn’t help but feel a chill of something… off.
Whenever you’d bring it up to Billie, she’d just laugh and brush it aside. “That’s just Lana being Lana,” she’d say. “She’s always been a little intense.”
You trusted Billie, so you didn’t push it. After all, no relationship is perfect, and if one friend wasn’t thrilled, you’d manage. Still, there were times when you felt Lana’s eyes on you, something guarded and closed-off, like she was holding onto a secret.
It all came to a head one night, when Billie planned a small gathering at your place to celebrate the anniversary of her first album release. Friends, family, a few close people from the industry—it was an intimate, warm night, with laughter and drinks flowing. Everyone crowded into your living room, sharing memories, laughing over stories from Billie’s early touring days, and just soaking up the celebration.
As the night wore on, Billie got quiet. She held your hand tightly, glancing around the room with a smile that seemed… different, more nervous than you were used to. Then, without warning, she stood up and faced you, holding your hand tightly. She took a deep breath, and your heart stopped as she dropped down on one knee.
The room fell silent. You could see wide-eyed smiles and gasps all around you, but all you could focus on was Billie. She looked up at you with a mix of nervousness and warmth, her fingers gently squeezing yours.
“Y/N,” she said, her voice shaky but steady. “You have made me happier than I ever thought I could be. Being with you… it’s like, every day, I’m the luckiest person in the world. And I can’t imagine my life without you.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small velvet box, popping it open to reveal a beautiful, sparkling ring. “Will you marry me?”
The room burst into cheers and applause, but for you, it all faded into the background. With tears in your eyes, you nodded, overwhelmed with joy. “Yes! Of course, yes!”
Billie stood up and kissed you, pulling you close as your friends and family gathered around, congratulating you both, hugging and laughing and celebrating.
Everyone, that is, except Lana. She stood off to the side, her expression a mixture of shock and something else… pain, maybe? Her face was tight, and she didn’t join in the celebration. Billie seemed to notice, too, glancing her way with a slight frown before shaking it off and pulling you back into the moment.
The rest of the evening flew by in a blur of laughter, toasts, and shared joy. You tried to shake off the moment with Lana, chalking it up to shock or maybe just jealousy. But later that night, when Billie left the room to get something from the kitchen, Lana slipped away, following her.
Curious, you hung back, deciding to give them a moment. But then you heard hushed voices coming from the other room. Lana’s voice, choked with emotion, drifted toward you.
“Billie, I need to talk to you,” she was saying. “Please, just… listen. I’ve been holding this in for so long, and I can’t anymore. I have feelings for you. I’ve always had feelings for you. I thought, maybe… one day, you’d see that I was the one who was supposed to be by your side. And now, seeing you with her, seeing you propose… I can’t take it anymore.”
There was a long, painful silence before Billie spoke, her voice low but resolute. “Lana… I’m sorry. I love you, but not in that way. You’re my friend, and you’ve always been special to me. But Y/N is the one I’m in love with. She’s the one I want to spend my life with.”
You couldn’t hold back any longer. You walked into the room, your heart pounding as Lana turned, startled to see you there. Her face flushed, and she looked away, clearly mortified. Billie’s eyes met yours, filled with concern and apology.
“Y/N,” Billie said softly, moving to your side. She took your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You know I’m with you. I’ll always be with you.”
Lana stammered, looking down at the floor, realizing the weight of what she’d just done. “I… I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I just… I thought maybe…”
You took a deep breath, trying to find words that would hold the peace but also express your hurt. “Lana, I understand this might be hard for you. But Billie chose me. We’re building a life together.”
Lana nodded, eyes downcast, her shoulders slumping. “I know. I’m sorry. I just… I’ll go.”
Without another word, she left the room, leaving you and Billie alone. Billie turned to you, her hands gentle on your face, her eyes filled with love. “You’re my everything, Y/N. No one could ever come between us.”
You wrapped your arms around her, pulling her close, feeling the security and warmth in her embrace. In that moment, you knew that whatever challenges might come your way, Billie was yours—and you were hers.
#billie eilish blurb#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish fic#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x you#billie eilish fluff#billie eilish imagine#wlw blog#wlw post#sapphic#lesbian
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|| A Heart Left Behind. || Wind Breaker Reactions ||
*smacks lips* it was getting a little too fluffy around here lol
please read PART 1 first before this one!
CW: angst. mentions of violence, injury, blood, suicide, hallucinations. character death.
: Sakura Haruka. Suo Hayato. Nirei Akihito. Umemiya Hajime. Kaji Ren. Endo Yamato.
"We are sorry to inform you, but the patient has unfortunately passed away."
❥ Sakura could feel his entire world crumbling, with each fragment a piece of you. The voices of the doctor, the people around him fading away like distant noise. His vision blurs, confused; Sakura reaches to lightly brush over his surprisingly wet cheek. Oh, they're tears. The doctor could only look at the poor boy sympathetically, before being jerked forward in surprise. As tears flow endlessly, Sakura grabs a fist full of the doctor's pristine white coat. He shouts in confusion and anger - unbelieving of the words just uttered. You couldn't possibly be gone. You promised that you'd take him to the aquarium next week, you promised him you'd let him taste the cookies you tried to bake. Despite all the promises made you’re gone now; forever out of his reach and it was all his fault. With realization, regrets start bubbling within him as his arms fall limply to his side. Thinking about all the times he could have spent with you. He should have hugged you more, told you that you were truly beautiful and kissed you each time like it was going to be the last. It should have been him. Just as you’ve given him a reason to live, now you’ve gone and taken it with you.
“T-Tell me, how am I supposed to live w-without you...?”
❥ Suo remembers the vivid moment, when the doctor told him the news that changed everything. He remembers smiling and thanking the doctor for trying their best, even though his heart felt like it had just been ripped out and his mind sank into darkness. He also remembers when he stood amongst a sea of blood and bodies as the darkness fully consumed him. Sakura and Nirei look onwards with shock and despair, powerless in trying to stop him. The ones who've hurt you in a state of near death but why didn't he feel satisfied? Only when Nirei screamed that you'd never be happy seeing him like this, does the realization hit. When you've left, you've left a hole in his chest where his heart was supposed to be that could never be filled again. Now, he stands in front of your grave - a bouquet of flowers he arranged personally for you. A bouquet of purple lilies, anemones and white chrysanthemums which symbolizes grief and eternal love. He promises for as long as he still lives, he'll atone for the fact he couldn't save you. When he sees you again, does he still deserve to be hugged like you used to?
"Until we meet again, my love."
❥ Nirei doesn't remember the last time he left his room. A room filled with mountains of rubbish, discarded ramen cups, empty water bottles and other miscellaneous trash and he sits in the middle of it. His precious notebook is forgotten beneath everything. Ever since you died, Nirei couldn't find the passion nor the will to live. Suo, Sakura and all his classmates tried their best to pull him back up but it was all worthless. If it isn't your hand that pulls him back up. Your memory haunts him in this empty room, with each one bringing him to tears - his chest unbearably tight. He rocks himself from side to side as tears flood his eyes, clutching his head in his hands whispering assurances to himself. The weight of your death prevented him from rising, after all it was his fault it happened. Sometimes he swears he could hear you in this very room, belittling him and spitting insults. Most of all blaming him for the reason behind your death. It's unbearable, when will it stop? A thought flashes in his mind that has him briefly smiling. Maybe there is a solution to forever escape from the pain.
"I-If I die, will you forgive me...?"
❥ Umemiya smiles as he looks down at his work. A patch of broccolis growing big and green, he reaches over and lightly touches them. Imagine the look of excitement you'd have at seeing your favorite vegetables. Until a grim thought crosses his mind that sets a frown on his face. You’ve passed away. The memory has his fists clenched and eyes burning in trying to hold back tears that threaten to spill. Only when he hears Hiragi clear his throat from behind him, does Umemiya snap out of his thoughts. Pulling himself together, he brightly smiles at his trusted friend - thanking him for coming but what he says next has Hiragi in utter shock. With his eyes fixed on your favorite vegetables and a sad smile on his face. Umemiya states that he will no longer hold the position of Bofurin's leader and the position will be passed onto Hiragi instead. Shocked and enraged Hiragi pulls Umemiya forward with a fist full of his white shirt, demanding he take back his words but the longer Hiragi stares at his friend he realizes. That the once bright eyes no longer shined, only reflecting emptiness back to him.
"I couldn't protect (Y/N), I can longer be trusted to protect everyone."
❥ Kaji stands, leaning casually against a chain fence with his usual headphones to his ears, a song playing - a blank stare on his face. Enomoto comes running panting with Kusumi following close behind. Enomoto's eyes widen in shock at the scene in front of him. His class leader sitting, his fists bloodied - a spread of unconscious bodies surrounding him. Kaji doesn't even look at his friends, ignoring them as he properly stands - brushing past them to walk away until Enomoto stops him with a hand to his shoulder. As the hand touches Kaji's shoulder, a switch happens - he angrily swats his friend's hand away. Enomoto and Kusumi stood in shock, the look on Kaji's face was the same face he used to have years ago. His usual blue eyes swirling with sadness and rage. A deep emptiness infixed within him. Ever since you died, he no longer knew he was or who to be anymore. Your guiding hand no longer extended towards him. Enomoto tries talk some sense into his friend that what he was doing was wrong but Kaji answers back with only shouts colored in anger. The sudden movement knocks Kaji's headphones from his head. A familiar song played from the device, Enomoto and Kasumi knew it well. It was your favorite song.
"Don't you get it?! T-This is the only way I can feel something!"
❥ Endo stares up into the bright full moon, as he sits on a swing. The deserted playground he's at is quiet, with only the whispers of the wind. He looks to a swing beside him. He can see the ghost of your figure sitting on it, asking him if he could push you. At the vision, a smile creeps upon Endo's face - you look so happy and beautiful calling out to him. Unconsciously, he reaches a hand out towards you, only to brush against nothing. The image of you disappearing like sand to the wind. It often happens, a memory of you attached to everything around him - that's how much he sees you even when you’re gone. He believes that he sees you but only to meet with disappointment and a blank space where you used to be. On nights where he's left to his own thoughts, the image of you becomes clearer as if you were really there. He swears you spoke to him with your usual sweet voice and he happily replied back. He doesn't want to accept that you're gone, his entire being rejecting the notion but deep down inside he knows that you’re truly gone from this world. Even if he knows that they're only illusions created by his own mind, it's the only way he won't succumb to the loneliness of your absence. Maybe one day, when he reaches out to you he’ll actually get to touch your soft skin again. Until then he’ll keep reaching out to you.
"When will you come to see me again, (Y/N)?"
#wind breaker#wind breaker satoru nii#wind breaker x reader#wind breaker x you#sakura haruka#suo hayato#nirei akihiko#umemiya hajime#kaji ren#endo yamato#sakura haruka x reader#suo hayato x reader#nirei akihiko x reader#kaji ren x reader#umemiya hajime x reader#endo yamato x reader#wind breaker angst#wind breaker imagines#skipps writes
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What compliments do people say behind your back? | PICK A PILE
₊˚๑ How to choose: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the image that caught your attention. ₊˚๑ Disclaimer: All readings are done for entertainment only, don't use my readings as a replacement for legitimate advice. This is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
₊‧ʚ・︵︵ ₊˚๑ masterist | tip jar ₊ ︵︵・₊﹆ɞ‧₊
🥐 ⊹ ꒱ PILE ONE ᨦ ♡
⊹ ︶⏝⭒ ⊹ ⭒⏝︶ ⊹
Hey, pile one! You’ve got this unforgettable presence that makes people remember you, even if they usually struggle with faces or names – but with you, it’s different. When people meet you, they can’t seem to forget your face or who you are. If they were in a crowded room full of people, they wouldn’t waste time talking to anyone else – they’d be drawn to you. Even if they don’t know much about you, there’s this mystery around you that keeps them intrigued and wanting to know more. You’re genuinely one-of-a-kind, almost like a muse in people’s eyes, and some might even say you’re the type of person an artist would write songs about.
People also talk about your hair, how soft it looks and how it flows perfectly in the wind. On top of that, they think you’re super photogenic – you always seem to come out looking great in photos. A lot of people assume you’ve got a good, stable life going on – even if you don’t always feel that way, from the outside, it seems like you’re chasing your dreams and achieving your goals. But there’s another side to this – if you’ve ever let an opportunity slip through your fingers, people might say, "you had your chance, and it’s on you for not taking it." They see you as someone who’s tough, knows their worth, and usually gets what they want.
People think you follow your heart, maybe even a bit too much sometimes, but they know you’re reliable and that they can count on you. Lately, though, some have noticed you might be going through something, even if you’re not saying it out loud. They see you as ambitious, always striving for more – sometimes even to the point of overindulging, like spending too much on clothes or accessories. You’re someone who doesn’t like hearing “no” and keeps pushing until you get that “yes.” That’s a strength, no doubt, because you’re persistent and don’t give up easily. But at the same time, some people might see it as a downside, viewing you as a bit selfish or spoiled because of how hard you push for what you want.
🥐 ⊹ ꒱ PILE TWO ᨦ ♡
⊹ ︶⏝⭒ ⊹ ⭒⏝︶ ⊹
Hello, pile two! So, one of the first things people say about you behind your back is how sweet-hearted you are, and they absolutely love that about you. They also talk about how much stronger you are than you think, even though you might feel totally wrecked inside sometimes, lol. People see so much potential in you, like you’re capable of achieving everything you want and living the life you dream of. But here’s the catch — sometimes you might end up just talking about it or daydreaming without actually taking action, and yeah, that’s not helping you much.
Another thing people admire is how well you hide your emotions, especially when you’re going through tough times. It’s like no one around you can really tell when you’re down, which can actually be a huge advantage if you’re surrounded by toxic people. Not giving them the chance to use your insecurities against you? That’s a power move. People also respect how you don’t just let anyone into your life to mess things up. You set boundaries, and they see that. Some might take it the wrong way though — like, they could think you’re arrogant or selfish just because you don’t bend to their will or things didn’t go their way. But honestly, don’t even worry about them, lol.
Another thing people admire about you is your independence. You handle your own problems, and it’s not like you’re out there looking for comfort or validation from others. You’ve got this "I can handle it myself" energy, and that’s something people definitely notice. On top of all that, they also see how you know how to chill and have fun after a long day, whether it’s at work, school, or whatever. You’ve got that perfect balance of working hard and knowing when to relax.
🥐 ⊹ ꒱ PILE THREE ᨦ ♡
⊹ ︶⏝⭒ ⊹ ⭒⏝︶ ⊹
Hello, pile three! One of the first things they compliment is that you’re an amazing friend to those around you. You have this way of calming people down when they’re nervous, making them feel better, helping them take a deep breath, and just relax. Even though you're great at being there for others and supporting them when they need it, people have noticed that you’re not the type to ask for comfort when you’re feeling low. When you're down, people really miss your positive, high-energy vibe — some of you in this pile are even a little sassy and people love that about you, lol.
They also admire your "I don’t need anyone" vibe, but little do they know, you act that way because you’re afraid of being vulnerable and getting hurt in relationships. Still, when you do get close to someone — whether it’s a friendship or something more — you’re all in. You want them to be there for you just like you’re there for them, but you don’t let on about your fear of being abandoned. You’ve got this energy of "you’re either with me or you’re not."
Another thing people say is that you’ve got the potential to be brilliant. You don’t give up easily, no matter how tough things get, and that inspires the people around you to do the same. People also really respect how much you care about justice and equality – it seriously bothers you to see unfairness in the world, like people going hungry on the streets or religious hypocrisy. Some of you reading this are atheists, and it drives you nuts when people use religion to justify their shady actions. You’ve got a way of surprising people, whether it’s through your actions, your thoughts, or just how you handle things – people honestly never know what to expect from you, but in a good way.
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#daily tarot#tarot cards#free readings#free tarot#divination#tarotblr#future spouse reading#tarotcommunity#tarot readings#lenormand#tarot tips#tarot reading#future spouse tarot#future spouse pick a card#future spouse pac#future spouse#tarot deck#tarot#pac reading#tarot pac#pac tarot#pap ideas#baralhocigano#paid readings#paid tarot reading#paid astrology#paid services#self love#oracle#shufflemancy readings
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Pick a pile
Future spouses physical appearance
1. 2. 3.
Pile 1
Your future spouse has really nice glowy skin. They are confident they know they look good. this person looks younger than you or could be younger then. they have very youthful skin, eyes, body they take care of themselves. This person has dark hair brown or black. They could look like they have their life together even if they don’t but when people see them in public they will definitely think they have it all. They may always be in their work clothes. This person may look stressed a lot I see them putting their hand on their head and sighing. They have really straight white teeth. Someone’s future spouse may be Asian. Your future spouse has nice hands I feel like you will think they are really attractive. They could like wearing cowboy boots. This person may have a scar on their arm from when they were younger. Your future spouse is like slim muscular, you can definitely see those muscles with no clothes tho lol. Your going to really like there legs and thighs aswell. They have cat/ fox eyes they have like Kendall Jenner eyes. I feel you will really like this persons hair and if they’re a male they will have a beard. I see them having straight hair. They also may color their hair.
Thank you for reading loves! 🤍
Pile 2
Your future spouse may raise there eyebrows a lot. They have small facial features small eyes, mouth, nose, eyes. Their face may get red a lot when they smile or laugh. This person likes to keep their hair simple they don’t like to really mess with it. You and your future spouse will look differently from each other you know how some people look like there spouse sometimes y’all will not but will definitely compliment each other well. Their skin could be fair to Olive. Your person if definitely good looking. They have a very masculine and fatherly energy. They look like they get things done and they take care of their family and kids. They are Definitely the bread winner in the family. Your future spouse looks really friendly and trusting like if they’re in public and someone needs directions there asking your future spouse. They definitely talk to strangers a lot just starting up a whole conversation with a stranger and you just standing there like can you stop yapping so we can go lol. This person has a really nice jaw line they look very strong they may work out or just care about their heath in general. This person may have a really long neck. This person could have lighter hair I feel Ike your really going to like playing with there hair it’s really soft and flows nice.
Thank you for reading loves! 🤍
Pile 3
your future spouse likes to change their appearance a lot they get bored by the way they look so they change little things like the way they dress here and there. This person may dislike something about there face all the cards I pulled they’re all covering there face with there Hands or hair. I don’t get that there’s anything wrong with their face they personally just don’t like it. This person would have very long eyelashes or just nice bright eyes. I feel like you know what your future spouse looks you don’t know them but you “know them” I feel like you watch and read a lot of pac about them so when you meet your going to be like “yup your mine lol”. I feel like you’re going to love taking pictures of them. They may wear a suit and tie for work. Your person has light features lights hair, light skin and light eyes. I feel like it may be there nose they don’t like about themselves they think it’s to big but it honestly looks like a normal man’s nose lol. your gong to be very attractive to your future spouse like when you see them you’re going to be like “yup put a ring on it”. I feel like this person is going to be or look older than you. I also see them being much taller than you.
Thank you for reading loves! 🤍
#pick a card#pick a photo#pick a picture#pick a pile#pick an image#tarot cards#tarot deck#tarot reading#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#pick a reading#pick a deck#pick a crystal#pick a number#pick one#free tarot#daily tarot#tarot
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