#sometimes you DO have to move and leave everything behind
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
[ID: 1. Text reading: i look in the mirror, i lost my mind a little, i cry on public transport, i walk through a flourescent supermarket, i have slow and confusing dreams at night. you know how it is
2. Text reading: "time wasn't right. it was moving too fast. i was 19, and then i was 20, and then i was 21. like chapters skipped over in a dvd. i told myself 'this isn't normal. this isn't normal. this isn't how life is supposed to feel."
3. A clock hangs off a wall. It glows yellow from an internal light. White text reads, "how is time able to move so fast yet I am not?"
4. Text reading: Suddenly it's December and you're not 17 anymore. And you haven't been 17 for a very long time, but sometimes you need to remind yourself.
5. An empty booth table. A menu rests on either side of the table facing both booth seats. Behind the table is large window with vertical blinds that are mostly pulled shut. It's dark, save for a slight glow off some LED signs to the side. All caps pink text over top the window reads: I AM MY OWN GHOST HAUNTING THE MEMORIES I LOVE THE MOST
6. A white candle that has been melted to the point that the entire middle has been hollowed out. White text over the center of the candle reads: you still crave summer, but you crave summer five years ago
7. A bicycle has fallen over in a field of grass. White text reads: you can go back to the past but no one will be waiting for you there
8. Text reading: It's mortifying to be the one who remembers.
9. Text reading: I DREAM OF THE PAST AS IF IT WERE YET TO COME
10. Text reading: in another universe, me and my friends stay teenagers for a little while longer
11. Four panel comic that reads "I miss my old rituals. But I always miss everything." The first panel is shaded black. The second panel is also shaded black with two white circles that contain text reading, "I miss my old rituals." The word "rituals" is in the second bubble. The third panel shows two white figures. One holds a glass. The second is turned away from the view, but neither have visible faces or features. The final panel is shaded black once more with one white circle that reads, "But I always miss everything."
12. Text reading: It is impossible to say good-bye to the past. (...) Better to leave it alone. Better to let it drift there, at the end edge of sight,
13. Text reading: Memories do not always soften with time; some grow edges like knives.
14. A light-skinned hand reaches up throw extended branches. On the horizon the sun shines bright. Text on the palm reads: it's not the same and it never will be
15. A drawing of a rabbit running. Text reads: KEEP RUNNING COMRADE THE PAST IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU
16. Drawing of a large road. A single car drives along. Two people approach it from the front. Someone further ahead walks across. Another person even further ahead stands on a small grassy strip splitting the road. Text reads: all the places i run to have no room for me
17. Simplistic drawing of a cityscape. The buildings are all in blue with small dots to indicate windows. Text above the buildings read: You'll say "Talks soon?" and I'll know that we won't.
18. A red-haired girl looks at herself in an ornate golden hand mirror.
19. Text reading: You watched your face change in the mirror and you watched your face become ugly and uncertain. You felt alone and sad being you.
20: Text reading: I thought by now I'd feel better.
21. A person walks down a dirt road. Grass mountains and hills surround them. The sky is clear but foggy. Text reads: you haven't been you in a long time
22. Text reading: "I am by myself. The trees are not trees the birds are not birds and I am not me but just something that has been walking for a very long time..."
23. Text reading: I'm nothing but nausea, nothing but reverie, nothing but longing. I'm something very far removed, and I keep going
24. Text reading: I exist, that is all, and I find it nauseating.
25. A figure, drawn in black scribbles, hovers in the air. A gray shadow is beneath them. They say, "I did not expect to be me for an entire lifetime."
26. Text reading: You're always haunted by the idea you're wasting your life.
27. An empty road surrounded by trees. The road is clear but the ground and sidewalk are covered in fallen leaves. Text on top of the road reads: I see my life passing by and i'm standing in the middle of it
28. Text reading: I watched life and wanted to be part of it but found it painfully difficult.
29. A letter that reads:
For: My chest feels hollow and heavy
From: Is this the curse of the clock? Longing for the comfort of the past, and erasing away my present?
30. Text reading: ...and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, 'That was fine.' And your life is a long line of fine. /end ID]
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9024d7fde9854545dad686cdb6d002e5/e1e0452e32a0caa9-88/s540x810/6401a22cd3f92e919793128130866e857ad358b6.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dfe72033841943c205abe6165894c649/e1e0452e32a0caa9-e5/s540x810/fe6235bb119114cc4973ad75be3fc3433314a551.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5526815840335ee89735566dcc1aec44/e1e0452e32a0caa9-49/s540x810/b44b07e71e4bc975e8da9dce5204d5f22bbc3343.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5a1a881634127a4ed618275e391c0954/e1e0452e32a0caa9-bf/s540x810/38c99d6ceba821a0b4292761db2fba3ad03b1d52.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7561b36ddb171de052f89f17ea147d45/e1e0452e32a0caa9-a2/s500x750/93a6227ebb59340e264bbc8b4adeaafc7c2c3f69.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/679af500e8ac7db040b00ab5b7f7e7ae/e1e0452e32a0caa9-84/s540x810/1c7d22cd827cbe6f00bd1140412b166c712d4773.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8faac5843a3173cc684b44b9bd1b3f0f/e1e0452e32a0caa9-3f/s540x810/e516f73b3d5ddf201a550005364f76b8c2113784.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f76883d1fbdeab0f669f71ba3409d902/e1e0452e32a0caa9-37/s540x810/09440a61a66a81435709170ad92fa0649498f376.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d54ae2f78b3b93eb970e79d6abcb8e38/e1e0452e32a0caa9-cf/s540x810/46ecb84fe057cac1efbdba78b4f60f3a674e6c40.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2f53cd5a5b3648467bdd3e41114afdbe/e1e0452e32a0caa9-8c/s540x810/8916501822e325075fa7232a7d58aba0c9b50660.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1b36cce19131e67c79decfcb8fdc9366/e1e0452e32a0caa9-c4/s540x810/0ddf60fa39d5471f5742b8ac417df277ed48e62e.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/52f0f073fdc0ea4a62a103f8ff2dc44a/e1e0452e32a0caa9-0b/s540x810/5a79d72b081e69b2e04a85f244ab013b582bb25c.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7b0a1adb8ed072543cb03115786dc1c6/e1e0452e32a0caa9-cf/s540x810/fc91ff651a6e7edc69c5ee98fe8c231739a28328.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/deedc373ed482b572bbe42a1a04f4e05/e1e0452e32a0caa9-7f/s540x810/6cd5463a1df00e1fe1aa4c5c45e631ab538f9e96.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/62e3256176064f98055c9055eb93595c/e1e0452e32a0caa9-c1/s540x810/f36a37222f2dc335c7c6a14cd10cc432f9edbdbe.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a64abc6871cdfbfbba021df564a9209e/e1e0452e32a0caa9-0d/s540x810/143a2c60b97b70a2ecf5000f935bc8c568b8484f.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ddaed21513f1ca4badde70b7dc9768f5/e1e0452e32a0caa9-41/s540x810/c2e4bc95f04d3f175a024930a0bad5085872a927.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/26eeb74aefc6e855e501edb0d0315058/e1e0452e32a0caa9-a1/s540x810/c29f715d4903235fe565f1934df819aa1cbbf7da.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d03d94a32760705c99441c382d1ea36b/e1e0452e32a0caa9-51/s540x810/9840e9d346312f7e1f26e95994e4770d1dccf30c.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d2ad42016c9d6b81384c9465113012dd/e1e0452e32a0caa9-50/s540x810/99778af74b3209d55a330a2580d2acd5e9c2bbf4.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/24da9cc41ff389846a35c63c1a764472/e1e0452e32a0caa9-f0/s540x810/dd50bf1fb275f5e9744321d55cadf14132d39103.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b4b447ff82c7dac3f947413f9b4aebd7/e1e0452e32a0caa9-cf/s540x810/fce7b8283ecc4ad57afbaa9b2d8650dcd2e5f8bd.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c9a050ec9d6ea26b536b4ba54a734403/e1e0452e32a0caa9-3c/s540x810/f003b150f2abc9484afbed031af1cd888185da75.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c5f2438a8530ef432163e0f6e48eece1/e1e0452e32a0caa9-ab/s540x810/16fa913f15c09c5e1c850ebe5264c1c790188e70.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b115b2d8d4576bbecbb09b15389f7cd4/e1e0452e32a0caa9-e3/s500x750/4010c4b1236993acd8eebeabf3b49ea2bf13453d.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fd7b1b6b66b38f6ed40553eb74389ef6/e1e0452e32a0caa9-4f/s540x810/082faa891efe455d2828e940a92d379803d87acf.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/08a464ed1cbe77027de4e721f3cf37c4/e1e0452e32a0caa9-c2/s540x810/0504981532805b78c6e9d9fe02d475458cd1589d.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5286cf407d6b6d1548bbc4283975c28e/e1e0452e32a0caa9-1b/s540x810/f95ab93527ef83d97c8114ac170272557fc95890.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1512f47b2d778df2fb926f3c5fe06c21/e1e0452e32a0caa9-bc/s540x810/a51f9897e19160bb6127fe5bd790c3fcfe469cf2.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2faa724119a4b72a7b6c0fba1121ea18/e1e0452e32a0caa9-8b/s540x810/539010705e8b84a94810d11173381de1aa30a7bf.jpg)
This isn't how life is supposed to feel
irsshawty on Pinterest / I Saw The TV Glow / internetfavorite on Pinterest / kiyogakukai on Pinterest / Spotify on Pinterest / ladycranes on Pinterest / micheallasboard on Pinterest / Ryan O'Connell / norhanelhadry474 on Pinterest / @inanotherunivrse on Tumblr / ??? / Charles Wright, Scar Tissue in "Scar Tissue" / Barbara Kingsolver, The Lacuna / Priyer on Pinterest / vangore on X / perfumebathing on Instagram / marvinandrea89 on Pinterest / @hannahlockillustration on Tumblr / stickybaby on We Heart It / lesedimorapeli25 on Pinterest / Jnkskxm on Pinterest / Jeff Vandermeer, Annihilation / Fernando Pessoa, "English Song", A Little Larger Than the Entire Universe: Selected Poems / Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness / MrsandMrStyles on Pinterest / Chuck Palahniuk / justgiveittime on Pinterest / Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 6: 1955-1966 / Mary Macdonald, romanticizeaquietlife on Pinterest / Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl /
I accidentally deleted my credits while creating this & struggled to find the original creators again as I had already downloaded all of this content. Some of the credits are towards the original creators, but some are just references to where I was able to find the content after deleting my original credits. Please feel free to correct any of my credits if you see one that is incorrect 🫶🏼
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ MY VALENTINE KIM SEUNGMIN
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ synopsis your 17-year-old dog, who had survived chocolate poisoning, a bicycle accident, and a raccoon fight, finally passed away peacefully—proving that even the most legendary warriors must one day retire. in your grief, you completely fell apart, only to realize your usually sarcastic boyfriend might actually be capable of being soft and supportive—something even more shocking than your dog’s immortality finally running out.
pairings: menace!seungmin x menace!reader warnings: death of a pet, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, seungmin is a sweetheart i need a seungmin for valentines day thank you very much, they're in love your honour
before seungmin was your boyfriend, he was your best friend. there was no messy talking stage, no drawn-out situationship—just years of friendship that seamlessly shifted into something more. it happened on prom night, after one unexpectedly deep conversation that peeled back layers neither of you had ever touched before. from that moment on, everything changed.
your friends had seen it coming long before you did. they used to roll their eyes and exchange knowing glances whenever you and seungmin bickered, convinced that it was only a matter of time before one of you caved. it wasn’t hard to see why. your friendship with seungmin was filled with smacking, bullying, and calling each other mean names. naturally, that dynamic carried over into your relationship as well.
but sometimes, you wondered if seungmin ever really took you seriously. saying serious things—things that mattered—never came easy for either of you. the words always got tangled in sarcasm, deflected by jokes. even kissing was often a game, a teasing challenge where he’d lean in just to pull away at the last second, smirking as you huffed in frustration. it wasn’t that he didn’t care. it wasn’t that you didn’t care. it was just easier to dance around the depth of your feelings than to dive straight in.
one evening, after seungmin had spent nearly an hour tormenting you with relentless tickles, leaving you breathless from laughter and weak from squirming, you huffed in exasperation.
“why do you always have to be such a menace?” you asked, still catching your breath.
he grinned, eyes crinkling at the corners as he leaned back. “because i only act like this with you.” his voice was quieter now, softer, like a secret he was finally ready to share. “you’re special to me.”
for once, you didn’t have a comeback.
the city lights blurred outside the bus window, distorted by the tears welling in your eyes. you blinked rapidly, willing them away, but the tightness in your throat only grew stronger. with every stop, every jerk of the bus, your composure cracked a little more. you clenched your jaw, staring hard at your reflection in the dark glass. just a little longer. just until you got home.
finally, your stop came. you shuffled off the bus, stepping into the cool night air. the walk to your apartment felt longer than usual, each step heavier than the last. your breaths were shallow, uneven, as you swallowed back the lump in your throat. the world around you moved as if nothing had changed—cars rushing by, a couple laughing in the distance, a stray cat darting across the sidewalk—but inside, you were unraveling.
by the time you reached your door, your hands were trembling. you fumbled with the keys, cursing under your breath when they slipped from your fingers. picking them up, you took a shaky inhale and forced yourself to steady your grip. just get inside.
the lock clicked. the door swung open. and the moment it shut behind you, the weight of it all crashed down.
a broken sob slipped from your lips before you could stop it. your legs gave out, and you sank to the floor, pressing your back against the door. tears spilled over, hot and relentless, as you buried your face in your knees. your shoulders shook with every quiet sob, the sound muffled in the empty apartment.
you had held it together for so long. but now, there was no one to see. no one to hear.
you had known this day would come. you had prepared yourself for it—at least, you thought you had. but no amount of knowing could have made it hurt any less.
seventeen years. that was how long he had been by your side. longer than some of your friendships, longer than any relationship you'd ever had. he had been there for every scraped knee, every heartbreak, every lonely night you spent crying into his fur. you had practically grown up with him—your childhood, your teenage years.
he was ancient. seventeen, as a reminder. practically immortal by dog standards. he had outlived all expectations, defied every vet’s cautious prognosis. he was ancient, crusty, and had the worst breath imaginable—like a mix of old socks and something you didn’t even want to identify. his teeth were a disaster, barely hanging on in his later years, and he had been blind in one eye for the past three birthdays. and yet, somehow, he had powered through everything.
there had been that one time he ate an entire bag of chocolate chips when he was seven and walked it off like it was nothing. then, at twelve, he somehow got hit by a bicycle and bounced back as if he had merely tripped. at fourteen, he got into a fight with a raccoon over a slice of pizza (and won). he had survived stomach bugs, a tumble down the stairs, and countless other incidents that should have been his undoing. but no—he had refused to go out in some dramatic, action-packed way.
instead, he had peacefully fallen asleep like the stubborn little shit he was.
he was gone.
you let out a shaky breath, a tear-streaked chuckle slipping past your lips. of course, that’s how he would go. no theatrics, no grand exit. just quietly, in his sleep.
it wasn’t fair, though. he had survived so much—how was he not invincible?
you wiped at your face, but the tears kept coming. you had always known this day would come, but losing him felt like losing a piece of your childhood.
you hadn’t been there for his last moments. that was what made it worse.
moving out for university had meant leaving him behind, but at the time, it hadn’t felt like a real goodbye. it never even crossed your mind that one day, you’d walk out that door and never see him again. it was impossible to imagine a world where he wasn’t waiting by the door when you came home, tail thumping lazily against the floor, his cloudy old-man eyes lighting up at the sound of your voice.
but time had finally caught up with him, and instead of being there to hold him one last time, instead of pressing your forehead to his like you always did, whispering, you stink, you had gotten the news over the phone.
you hadn’t heard the footsteps. hadn’t noticed the faint creak of the floorboards or the quiet rustle of movement in the room. you had been too lost in your own wreckage, sobs wracking your body as you sat crumpled against the door, drowning in the weight of it all.
but then—something made you look up.
seungmin was standing there, just a few feet away. his eyes were wide, his expression frozen somewhere between confusion and alarm. his lips were parted slightly, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t figure out where to start.
you hadn’t expected him to be here. but of course, he had a spare key. and from the way he was standing there, it was obvious—he had been in the apartment the whole time, long before you walked through the door and completely fell apart.
the realization sent a fresh wave of humiliation crashing over you. you weren’t sure how much he had seen, but judging by the way he was looking at you—like he was seeing you for the first time—you knew it was enough.
seungmin had never seen you like this before.
he had seen you annoyed, frustrated, even stressed to the point of snapping. but never this. never crumpled and shaking on the floor, barely able to catch your breath between sobs. never so completely wrecked that you couldn’t even find it in yourself to throw out a sarcastic remark or tell him to get lost.
and you knew what was about to come.
like the absolute asshole he was, he was going to crack a joke. probably something about how ugly you looked when you cried, or how your face was so red it could stop traffic. any second now, he was going to open his mouth and say the exact wrong thing, because that was just who he was. that was how he dealt with anything remotely emotional—sarcasm first, actual feelings second.
you almost wished he wasn’t there. right now, you had nothing in you to deal with a seungmin-style remark. not today. not when everything already felt like too much.
you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself, but nothing came.
no snarky comment. no teasing jab.
but instead, seungmin walked over to you and he sank to the floor.
he didn’t fidget, didn’t sigh like he was uncomfortable. he just sat there, his body close but not overwhelming, his presence solid and steady. his eyes never left you, his usual sharp, mischievous gaze replaced with something softer, something that made your throat tighten even more.
another sob tore through you, and you curled in on yourself, burying your face in your knees. you felt exposed, raw in a way you had never been before. you weren’t used to this—falling apart in front of someone, letting yourself be seen like this. and seungmin… he wasn’t used to it either.
to him, you were always either a ray of sunshine or a little menace who pinched his cheeks just to annoy him. you were the one who smacked his arm when he teased you, who gave as good as you got. but now? now you were shaking, struggling to catch your breath between broken sobs, completely undone in a way he had never witnessed before.
seungmin hesitated for only a second before reaching out, his hand barely brushing against your back at first—like he was testing the waters, making sure you wouldn’t flinch away. when you didn’t, his touch grew firmer, his palm pressing against the fabric of your shirt as he slowly rubbed circles between your shoulder blades.
your sobs didn’t stop right away. they came in waves—some stronger, some weaker, but always there, shaking through you, making it impossible to catch a steady breath. you tried to quiet them, tried to swallow them down, but your body refused to cooperate.
at some point, you lifted your head, your cheeks damp, your lashes clumped together from tears. seungmin’s hand stilled, but he didn’t pull away.
and then—his eyes met yours.
there was no teasing glint, no smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. just seungmin, staring at you like he was seeing every crack, every broken piece, and accepting them without hesitation.
he didn’t say anything. he didn’t need to.
instead, he gave you the smallest smile—soft, quiet, a silent i’m here.
seungmin let out a slow breath, his fingers pressing just a little firmer against your back, grounding you. his other hand hovered for a second before he reached up, brushing his knuckles gently against your cheek. his touch was warm, deliberate—like he was trying to memorize the shape of you, trying to let you know in the only way he could that you weren’t alone in this.
“you know,” he murmured, his voice quiet but steady, “boyfriends are supposed to help with things like this.”
you blinked at him, your chest still rising and falling unevenly, your throat tight.
“this whole… carrying everything by yourself thing?” he shook his head slightly, his thumb smoothing over your cheekbone. “yeah, i’m not letting you do that.”
your lip trembled.
as if reading your mind, seungmin exhaled, his thumb brushing against your cheek again, slower this time. “you’re allowed to let me be here for you. you know that, right?”
something in you cracked at that.
a fresh wave of tears welled up, and seungmin didn’t even flinch. he just shifted closer, his hand finding yours, threading his fingers through yours, squeezing lightly.
“i’m not going anywhere,” he promised. “so cry, tell me to shut up—whatever you need. but don’t shut me out.”
seungmin’s fingers tightened around yours, firm but careful, like he was anchoring you to him without holding on too tight. his eyes never left your face, searching, waiting—until finally, he spoke again.
“come here?”
it wasn’t a command. it wasn’t even a suggestion. just a question, soft and open, giving you the choice.
your breath hitched.
you weren’t used to this. him, like this. and maybe that was what made your throat tighten even more.
you nodded, barely a movement, barely a breath. but it was all he needed.
seungmin let go of your hand only to wrap his arms around you, pulling you in like it was second nature. you barely had time to react before your face was pressed against his shoulder, the warmth of his hoodie soft against your cheek. his arms settled around your back, firm and unyielding, his fingers curling against the fabric of your shirt.
your hands hovered for a second before you clutched at the fabric of his hoodie, gripping tightly, your body still shaking with uneven breaths. seungmin only held you closer, his chin resting lightly against the top of your head.
seungmin didn’t say anything for a long time. he just held you, his fingers tracing absentminded circles against your back, like he was letting you take your time, like he wasn’t in any rush to hear whatever was weighing you down.
but eventually, he shifted slightly, just enough to glance down at you. his voice was quieter now, softer, like he was trying not to break whatever fragile thread was holding you together.
“do you… wanna tell me what happened?”
your throat was tight with the weight of it, and when you swallowed, it felt like trying to force down something solid. you wanted to tell him. you had to tell him. but how were you supposed to say it? how were you supposed to explain why you had completely fallen apart, why your entire body had given out the second you walked through that door?
your heart pounded, your throat burned, and for a moment, you considered lying. saying it was stress, a fight with a friend, anything that made more sense than the truth. you were afraid that he would find it stupid that you were sobbing over your dog who was always on the brink of death.
but you couldn’t keep it in.
your vision blurred again, fresh tears rising as you forced yourself to swallow the lump in your throat.
“my mom called,” you said, barely above a whisper. “after my lecture.”
seungmin said nothing, but you could feel the way his grip on you tightened ever so slightly. he was listening. he was bracing. his jaw tensed. you could see it, the quiet dread settling behind his eyes.
and then, with everything in you screaming to keep it in, you let it out.
“my dog.”
two words. that was all you could get out.
but seungmin understood right away.
his breath hitched—so slight, so subtle, but you caught it. his fingers stopped moving against your back, and when he blinked, it was slow, like the weight of what you had just said was pressing into him, too.
“oh.” his voice was quieter now.
you knew what he was thinking.
this was stupid. it was just a dog. people lost pets all the time. you weren’t supposed to cry like this, to feel like something inside you had been ripped away.
frustration bubbled up through the grief, your throat tightening even more. you pulled back slightly, your fingers curling into the fabric of his sleeve as you forced out, “i know it’s dumb.” your voice was thick, shaking. “but i grew up with him, seungmin. what am i supposed to do—just smile and move on?”
his brows furrowed instantly. “no—”
“i mean, it’s just a dog, right?” you let out a bitter, shaky laugh, but it barely even sounded like you. “that’s what you think. that i’m being dramatic, that it shouldn’t hurt this bad—”
“no, no, no—what?” his hands tightened around yours, his voice firm now, almost urgent. “y/n, don’t even—”
you froze.
his expression had shifted completely—no teasing, no softness diluted by hesitation. just pure, unwavering certainty.
“you have every right to feel like this,” he said, his voice steady, his grip grounding. “this isn’t stupid. you aren’t stupid.” his brows pulled together slightly, and for a second, he looked almost upset—not at you, but for you. “you loved him. of course it hurts.”
your breath hitched.
seungmin was looking at you like your grief mattered, like it was valid.
you didn’t know what to do with that.
a fresh wave of emotion crashed over you, tangled and overwhelming, pressing into your ribs until you could barely breathe. your fingers curled against his wrist, gripping onto him like he was the only thing keeping you from unraveling completely.
“i don’t know, seungmin,” you whispered, your voice barely holding together. “i just—” your throat tightened. “i don’t know.”
his face softened, but he didn’t rush to fill the silence. he just waited, his presence steady, unwavering.
your chest ached. everything ached.
your next breath came out shakier than the last. “i’m sorry,” you murmured, your voice breaking. “i—”
“hey.” his hands shifted, firm but gentle, like he could hold you together if he just held on tight enough. “none of that.”
you swallowed hard, but the lump in your throat refused to go away.
“don’t be sorry,” he said, quieter this time.
you sniffled, shaking your head as you wiped at your face with the sleeve of his hoodie. “i don’t even know why i’m crying so much,” you mumbled, voice thick and uneven. “it’s just—he was so old, you know? like, ancient. i should’ve been ready for this.”
seungmin didn’t say anything right away. he just watched you, his expression unreadable but steady.
“i mean, seventeen years? that’s… that’s insane for a dog,” you continued, half-laughing through your tears. “he was supposed to go out dramatically—choking on something stupid or picking a fight with another raccoon, not just…” your breath hitched. “not just fall asleep and never wake up.”
“i used to joke about this all the time.” you sniffled, rubbing at your nose. “like, literally all the time. i’d always say ‘on my dog’s life’ like it wasn’t a big deal, and now—” your voice wavered, and you took a shaky breath. “now i can’t say that anymore.”
seungmin exhaled sharply and nodded. “yeah. you did say that a lot.”
you groaned, leaning back against the door and covering your face with your hands. “god, that’s so messed up.” you exhaled sharply, rubbing your temples. “i don’t know, seungmin. i don’t even know why i’m crying this much. i really really knew this was coming.”
seungmin tilted his head slightly, his eyes scanning your face like he was trying to read between the lines. “so what?”
you blinked at him. “what?”
“so what if you knew it was coming?” he shrugged, shifting so that he was leaning a little closer. “that doesn’t mean it’s supposed to hurt any less.”
you let out another wobbly breath, staring down at your hands. your fingers still trembled slightly, the weight of everything pressing down on your chest.
seungmin sighed and reached out, hesitating for just a second before tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “you don’t have to justify why you’re sad,” he said quietly. “you loved him. of course this sucks.”
you swallowed, your throat tight again. “yeah, but it’s not like he was—” you paused, exhaling. “it’s not like he was a person.”
seungmin’s lips pressed together, and for a second, he just looked at you. then, shaking his head slightly, he said, “so what?”
you huffed. “you keep saying that.”
“because you keep acting like you need a reason to be upset.” he gave you a pointed look. “you don’t. he was family. that’s all the reason you need.”
your breath caught.
family.
you hadn’t said it yourself, but hearing seungmin say it so plainly—like it wasn’t even up for debate—made your chest ache even more.
you bit your lip, trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, but it was useless. your vision blurred again, and before you could stop yourself, you were crying all over again.
“gosh, i hate this,” you choked out, your voice barely above a whisper. “i hate crying this much.”
seungmin exhaled through his nose, then—before you could react—he reached out and flicked your forehead.
you yelped, your hands flying up to rub the spot where he’d hit you. “ow! what the hell, seungmin?”
he just raised an eyebrow at you. “you hate crying, but you’re crying anyway. so what’s the point of hating it?”
you glared at him through your tears. “what kind of messed-up logic is that?”
“the kind that makes you stop talking nonsense.” he leaned back against the wall, stretching his arms behind his head. “look, if you’re gonna cry, then cry. don’t fight it.”
you sniffled, pouting. “easy for you to say. you don’t cry.”
seungmin scoffed. “that’s not true. you think just ‘cause i’m a boy, i don’t cry?” he shot you a fake offended look, crossing his arms. “that’s kinda sexist, don’t you think?”
you rolled your eyes, sniffling. “no, that’s not i meant. you’re just… seungmin. that’s why”
seungmin tilted his head, lips pressing together. for a moment, he didn’t say anything, just stared at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place. “well, i���ll tell you right now… looking at you like this is making me kinda—”
but he stopped.
your breath hitched. “what?”
“nothing.”
“seungmin.”
“drop it.” he huffed, looking away so fast it was almost comical.
and that’s when you saw it—the telltale redness creeping up his ears, the way his eyes looked just a little too glossy, like he was barely holding it together.
your mouth parted slightly. “wait, seriously?”
seungmin exhaled sharply through his nose. “don’t push it.”
but you weren’t even teasing anymore. you just stared at him, chest tightening, because somehow, knowing that he was feeling this with you—that this was hurting him, too—made the grief just a little more bearable.
you exhaled softly, the last of your resistance slipping away as you leaned against him, your head resting against his shoulder. seungmin didn’t move at first, but then—slowly, almost hesitantly—he turned back to look at you.
for a moment, neither of you spoke. you just sat there, breathing, the weight of everything settling between you. then, without a word, he shifted slightly and rested his head against yours, his warmth pressing into you in a way that made your throat tighten all over again.
you felt him move, just barely, and when you glanced up, you caught the way he wiped at his eye with the sleeve of his hoodie—like he was trying to be discreet about it. like he wasn’t supposed to be feeling this much either.
the realization hit you all at once: you and seungmin, two of the world’s most unserious people, were sitting here—silent, exhausted, crying into each other.
and somehow… it didn’t feel sad. at least, not just sad.
it felt real.
it felt like something deeper than grief, something bigger than just missing your dog.
it felt like you weren’t alone.
"please never leave me," you whispered, your voice barely a thread, fragile, like you're afraid if you speak too loudly it might shatter something between you two.
he tilted his head, his expression gentle, but there’s an edge of confusion in his eyes. “why would you ever think i’d leave you?” he asked, his voice calm and steady.
but you couldn’t stop the words that rush out next. they spilled from you in a torrent, raw and vulnerable, as if you were confessing something you’ve been holding inside for too long. "it’s only a matter of time before you die too. everyone is going to leave. i don’t want—” your voice cracked. “i don’t want anyone to leave.”
seungmin didn’t say anything. his silence wasn’t empty—it was heavy, filled with something unspoken, something that lingered between you like the last notes of a song fading into quiet.
“can i just… go first? like—die.”
seungmin stilled beside you. his head turned, his gaze sharp, his expression unreadable. for a second, he didn’t say anything—just studied you, like he was trying to figure out if you were joking.
then, he scoffed. “no.”
you blinked, startled by how immediate and certain he sounded. “what do you mean, ‘no’?”
“i mean no. that’s dumb. don’t say stuff like that.”
your chest tightened, and your fingers curled harder into the fabric of your sleeves. “but i wouldn’t be able to handle it if i didn’t,” you murmured. “if i had to be the one left behind. i just—” you took a shaky breath. “i don’t want to be the one who has to keep going without everyone else.”
seungmin’s jaw tensed, and for a moment, he didn’t respond. he just sat there, letting your words settle in the quiet between you.
then, with a sigh, he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “do you think i would?” he asked, his voice low but firm.
you hesitated. “…what?”
he turned his head slightly, glancing at you. “do you think i’d be fine if you went first?”
the question caught you off guard. you stared at him, struggling to process the idea, the weight of it pressing against your ribs.
seungmin let out a soft, humorless laugh. “you’re not special, you know.” his voice wasn’t harsh, but there was something sharp underneath it. “you think you’re the only one who’d be wrecked? you think i’d just—what, move on?”
your breath caught.
“don’t be stupid,” he muttered, shaking his head. “i’d be pissed. and sad. and probably really, really pissed at everyone around me.” he huffed. “so no, you can’t go first. because i don’t want to deal with that.”
you stared at him, your throat tight. “seungmin—”
“too bad,” he interrupted, like that was the end of the discussion. then, softer, “you’re not leaving me either.”
you let out a small, breathy laugh against his hoodie. “god,” you mumbled, voice still thick with the remnants of your crying. “how are you so bad at comforting, ” you sniffled, shifting slightly against him. “but… somehow, i feel better anyway.”
there was a beat of silence before you felt his chest rise with a quiet sigh. “sounds like a you problem.”
your lips parted in disbelief. “are you serious right now?”
he hummed, completely unfazed. “you’ve just got bad taste in comfort.”
you pulled back slightly, just enough to glare up at him. “that’s not a thing, you ass.”
he raised an eyebrow. “then explain why you’re still clinging to me.”
your face heated, but you refused to let him win. “because i need it. and you just—” you swallowed, your fingers tightening slightly around the fabric of his hoodie. “happen to be here.”
you exhaled softly and, without thinking, slumped forward, resting your head against seungmin’s chest. his hoodie was warm, the fabric slightly worn, and beneath it, you could hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in. his chin rested lightly on top of your head, and his hand found the small of your back.
seungmin blinked at you, then—without warning—let out a quiet laugh. it wasn’t mocking, not really, just a small, breathy chuckle. “why are we like this?” he asked, shaking his head slightly, amusement flickering in his eyes.
you frowned. “like what?”
“like…” he gestured vaguely between the two of you. “this. one second, we’re crying, and the next, you’re calling me an ass. it’s weird.”
you huffed. “it’s not weird.”
seungmin gave you a pointed look.
“…okay, maybe a little,” you admitted, sniffling. “but i don’t know. it just works.” you hesitated for a moment, your fingers still curled into the fabric of his hoodie. then, softer this time, you murmured, “and i don’t want that to change.”
seungmin stilled slightly, his head tilting just enough for him to look down at you. his expression wasn’t teasing anymore—just calm, steady. “it won’t.” then, without any hesitation, seungmin added, “as long as you know i love you.”
your breath caught, warmth spreading through your chest. you looked up at him, surprised but not really, because of course he’d say it like that—so casual, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
and maybe it was.
you exhaled softly smiling slightly, then leaned up just enough to bump your forehead lightly against his. “i love you too.”
then, before you could process it, he leaned in and kissed you.
it wasn’t rushed or urgent—just slow, steady, like he had all the time in the world. like this was something he’d thought about before but never quite let himself do until now. his hand found your cheek, fingers warm against your skin, tilting your face just enough to deepen the kiss.
you melted into him without thinking, your hands gripping the front of his hoodie to keep yourself grounded. the warmth of him, the quiet steadiness of the moment—it made your chest ache.
when he finally pulled back, just enough to rest his forehead against yours, you let out a soft, shaky breath.
“i’m glad you found me like this,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.
seungmin didn’t hesitate. “i’ll always find you.”
your chest tightened, something deep and aching curling in your ribs. you opened your eyes to meet his, and for once, there was no teasing, no playful sarcasm—just him, just seungmin, looking at you like you were something worth holding onto.
“i mean it,” he continued, his thumb tracing the curve of your cheek. “no matter what. no matter where. i’ll always be with you.”
you let out a quiet breath before he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead. then, he pulled you in again, arms wrapping around you like he could shield you from the world, like he wasn’t planning on letting go anytime soon.
and for the first time in what felt like forever, you believed him.
epilogue.
the scent of vanilla lingered in seungmin’s room at the dorm, mingling with the faint chill of february air slipping in through the window. the soft glow of fairy lights bathed everything in a golden hue, casting flickering shadows against the walls. it should’ve felt like any other night. but it didn’t.
because you were here with him.
seungmin turned the baseball cap over in his hands, his fingers tracing the stitching of a little heart next to his name. it was his present for valentine’s day, simple and classic—just his style. you’d been nervous about whether he’d actually like it, but judging by the way he kept admiring it, you had nothing to worry about.
“this is so nice,” he murmured, more to himself than to you. his thumb brushed over the small embroidered heart hidden on the inside, and a slow, satisfied smile tugged at his lips. “really nice.”
your stomach did an embarrassing little flip. “you like it?”
seungmin scoffed, glancing up at you with a look that made your breath catch. “obviously.”
and then, with that effortless ease of his, he slipped it onto his head—backwards, of course. like he knew exactly what he was doing to you. like he knew that the casual way he ran a hand through his dark hair, adjusting the fit, was going to make your heart trip over itself.
you swallowed. hard.
“that’s not how you’re supposed to wear it,” you muttered, if only to distract yourself.
seungmin let out a soft laugh, adjusting the cap one more time before pushing off his desk.
you barely had time to process the way he closed the space between you before he was kissing you—soft, sure, like it was second nature. his hands found your waist, tugging you just a little closer, and you barely managed to catch your breath before melting into him.
when he pulled back, his lips still ghosting over yours, he murmured, “thank you, y/n.”
your heart squeezed at the sincerity in his voice. you met his gaze, your hands still gripping the fabric of his sweater. “of course,” you whispered.
his lips curled into a smile. “you ready for yours?” seungmin took a step back, tilting his head toward the door. “come on,” he said, nodding for you to follow.
you frowned. “where are we going?”
he didn’t answer, just grabbed your wrist gently and tugged you along. his grip was warm, steady, and despite your confusion, you let him lead you out of your room and into the dimly lit hallway.
before you could ask again, from felix’s room, you heard a hushed, “shh.”
you blinked, confused, and turned to seungmin. without a word, he nudged the door open, and the sight inside made your breath catch. felix was crouched on the floor, his hands cradling the tiniest, cutest puppy you had ever seen.
a soft golden ball of fur with round eyes blinked up at felix, its tiny nose twitching as it snuggled closer into him. the moment it spotted movement, its little tail wagged.
your heart squeezed, and you gasped, stepping forward on instinct. “oh my goodness.”
felix grinned while walking over to you, then carefully—almost reverently—placed the tiny puppy in your arms. you barely processed the movement, too busy marveling at the warmth and softness of the small body now curled against your chest.
“oh my goodness,” you whispered again, cradling the little thing like it was made of glass. the puppy let out a tiny sigh, its nose nudging your sweater, already settling into you like it belonged there. you tore your gaze away just long enough to look up at him. “he’s perfect. he looks just like—”
felix nodded. “seungmin made sure of that.” he glanced over at seungmin, who was standing beside you with his hands in his pockets, watching your reaction with a satisfied smirk. “i don’t think you realize how picky he was about this whole thing.”
you blinked, looking at seungmin in surprise. “really?”
felix scoffed. “oh, absolutely. he made me visit like five different places with him just to find one that looked exactly like your old dog.”
your heart squeezed. you looked back down at the puppy, feeling an overwhelming rush of emotion. you turned to him, eyes soft. “you did that?”
seungmin rolled his eyes, like he was trying to play it off, but his ears were tinged pink. “well, yeah. i wasn’t gonna get you just any dog.”
you let out a soft laugh, still in awe. “i can’t believe you.”
felix then chimed in. “he’s got a ton of energy, you’re gonna have your hands full.”
you glanced down at the puppy, who was now settled in your arms, and smiled. “i don’t mind.”
felix grinned. “didn’t think you would.” he patted seungmin on the shoulder before stepping toward the door. “alright, i’ll leave you to it.”
you looked up. “felix, seriously. thank you.”
felix waved a hand. “yeah, yeah, just make sure seungmin doesn’t pretend he did all the work.” he shot seungmin a pointed look before slipping out of the room, leaving you alone with him—and your new puppy.
overwhelmed, you looked up at seungmin, your heart racing. he was watching you with that familiar, amused expression, lips twitching before he rolled his eyes.
“happy valentine’s day, you freak.”
you made a sound that wasn’t quite human, still in shock. “thank you, thank you, thank you! i love him!”
seungmin barely had time to react before you surged forward, wrapping your arm around him—careful not to squish the tiny dog between you. you pressed a quick, eager kiss to his lips, catching him slightly off guard, but he recovered fast, letting out a small laugh against your mouth.
“you’re so welcome,” he murmured, his hands finding your waist.
still buzzing with excitement, you pulled back just enough to nuzzle into the crook of his neck, breathing him in. he smelled warm and familiar—like fresh laundry and something unmistakably him.
“i can’t believe you did this,” you whispered against his skin, voice thick with emotion. “you’re actually the best.”
seungmin scoffed, though his grip on you tightened. “obviously.”
“i don’t know how to thank you,” you murmured.
he shrugged, his fingers slipping under the hem of your sweater, just barely grazing your skin. “just don’t forget who your favorite is.”
you blinked, then smirked. “between you and the dog?” seungmin gave you a warning look, but you only hummed playfully, tapping your chin like you were seriously debating it. “i mean… he’s really cute, seungmin.”
seungmin narrowed his eyes, pulling back slightly. “alright, that’s it. i’m returning him.”
your jaw dropped. “what? no!” you clutched the tiny puppy closer to your chest protectively, like seungmin was actually about to pry him from your arms.
“take it back,” he demanded, arms crossing over his chest.
you blinked at him, tilting your head slightly, all wide eyes and innocence. “take what back?”
seungmin inhaled sharply, as if willing himself to be patient. “don’t play with me, y/n.”
you barely held back a grin, feigning confusion. “i’m sorry minnie, i really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
he exhaled through his nose, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe you were doing this. “last chance,” he muttered, stepping closer.
you bit your lip, letting the anticipation build. then, just to push your luck a little further, you whispered, “never.” you giggled, reaching out to poke his cheek.
seungmin swatted your hand away. “i surprised you with the cutest valentine’s day gift ever, and you’re over here debating whether the dog is better than me.”
still cradling the sleepy puppy, you tilted your head, grinning. “you’re really worked up over this, huh?”
“i am not—” seungmin cut himself off, exhaling sharply before dragging a hand down his face. then, quieter, he muttered, “i just want to hear you say it.”
your heart clenched at how utterly serious he sounded, despite the dramatic display.
softening, you reached out, wrapping your free arm around his beck and pulling him close. “you are, you idiot,” you murmured against his chest.
seungmin stilled against you for a moment before pulling back just enough to look at you, his expression unreadable. “i’m what?”
you blinked up at him, already biting back a smile. “my favorite.”
his eyes narrowed slightly, as if trying to decide whether you were messing with him again. “say it again.”
you rolled your eyes but indulged him anyway, pressing a hand against his chest. “you’re my favorite, seungmin.”
a slow, satisfied smirk tugged at his lips. “damn right, i am.”
you huffed, laughing softly. “god, you’re so annoying.”
seungmin rolled his eyes like you were being slow on purpose. “i love you too, idiot.”
you opened your mouth to argue—just out of sheer principle—but he kissed you before you could, effectively shutting you up.
and, really, you weren’t complaining
#skz#stray kids#stray kids headcanons#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#stray kids scenarios#skz au#stray kids fluff#skz angst#skz hurt/comfort#skz seungmin#seungmin x reader#seungmin scenarios#seungmin imagines#seungmin fluff#seungmin angst#seungmin hurt/comfort#skz x reader#kim seungmin x reader#kim seungmin fanfic#seungmin imagine#kim seungmin angst#kim seungmin x you#skz fluff#skz x you#stray kids angst#stray kids hurt/comfort#skz imagines#skz scenarios#kpop
321 notes
·
View notes
Text
Shameless
3k1 | Lucien de Leon x fem reader | ao3 | masterlist
Summary: you ask Lucien to come over and he does exactly what you need him to Warnings: 18+ mdni. Oral (f/m), size kink, cigarettes, rimming, ass play, piv, creampie, pet names (baby, baby girl), reader has no specific physical descriptions but wears a dress
a/n: Thank you for the inspo @gothcsz 🙏❤️ (tumblr free Kat FFS§§§) Thank you @aurorawritestoescape for beta-ing and for everything, ily so, so much 🥹💕 @/saradika-graphics for the dividers 🙏
“Come on baby, don't play like this now,” he said, full of self-confidence, leaning against the wall in front of your door in his stupid shirt. The mountain of shit he had been dragging behind him for years had never damage his self-esteem.
“I don’t know why I keep calling you,” you said, bitter and unfair towards him. “Every time I regret it. Before or after I fuck you.”
“Mmmm… So you regret it now? You want me to leave? Ok,” he added, turning around, before you could even answer.
“Fuck, wait, Lucien!”
He didn't hide his smile as he turned around.
“See, baby? That's your problem, you always push people away. You're scared to be loved. And that's why you always call me.”
“Yeah, right. And you’re perfect for that, because love’s not your thing.”
He leaned against the wall again, a soft smile on his lips.
“You think that? But who's gonna love you like I do, baby?”
“And how do you love me?”
“My way,” he said, coming closer to you, a cigarette resting behind his ear. This motherfucker was the hottest man you knew. The biggest red flag you’d ever met.
“You always say you wanna be good but you keep begging me to come over,” he said, moving closer to you, his face only a few inches away from yours. Damn, you just wanted to kiss him. To fuck him.
“Because no one can touch you like me, that deep,” he added, brushing your lips with his before pulling away.
“I’m not just talking about here,” he said, pointing at your heart with his finger. “But also here,” he added, grabbing your pussy. “You need me. No one can fuck you like me. That deep, right?”
You swallowed loudly. Fuck, you needed him, deep and rough. He probably saw it in your eyes, but instead of leaning in and kissing you, he grabbed his cigarette and lit it. He smiled as he let the smoke out.
“Come on baby, don't give me that ‘piss off’ look. I’m gonna give you what you want,” he said, pressing his hard cock against the fabric of his black pants and pushing himself against you. He turned the cigarette over to offer it to you, and you took a drag.
“Yeah, whatever,” you said.
“Had some good dicks in the last few weeks?”
“Fucked a few. Can’t say they were that good, though.”
“Awww,” he said dramatically, before adding, “you fucked them raw? Do I have to use a condom, baby?”
“No. You’re the only dick that I fuck raw.”
He chuckled and threw his cigarette on the ground. You rolled your eyes and in two seconds he was fully against you, crushing his lips against yours, his hands cupping your cheeks.
He was never aggressive or possessive, always beautifully sensual and free. No strings attached, and that's exactly what you needed. Someone who wouldn't ask you something you couldn't or wouldn't want to give.
Each time he’d kiss you, each time you’d fuck, you never knew if it was the last time. Didn't know if you'd end up getting bored with him like with everyone else.
You doubted he would, on the other hand. He was always patient, never seemed to take your mood swings badly. He never said ’no’ to you, even if he knew you just needed to use him, somehow. Even if you were sometimes hard on him.
He was probably right: he loved you in his own, unconventional way, and that twisted relationship was oddly the most stable part of your life.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked as he kissed your neck, your eyes already rolling to the back of your head just at the feeling of his soft mustache brushing your skin, then his rougher beard that he loved to rub against the soft skin of your neck. Just like he loved to graze it against your inner thighs each time he ate you out.
He straightened up to look at you then licked your lips with the tip of his tongue, your mind suddenly blank.
“Need it bad, huh,” he chuckled. It wasn’t a question. Yeah, you needed it bad, but still, you shrugged.
“Come on baby, let me in,” he said against your lips, his familiar tobacco breath invading your nostrils a little more. “And I'm not talking about your cunt, she’s already droolin’, right?”
You didn’t answer and just pulled away from him to lead the way inside your house, to the dining room. You could feel his eyes fixed on your ass. You didn't even have to sway your hips to know he'd follow you anywhere at that moment.
He pushed the front door behind him, quickening his pace to be right behind you and caress the roundness of your ass before seizing your hips to make you stop.
“Mmmm, baby… I never get enough of this body,” he murmured in your ear, his hard cock against you. You wanted to say something clever, or at least something with your usual “whatever” attitude, but his touch was overwhelming you.
He slid his hands up to your breasts and cupped them sensually, his nose against your hair, he breathed it in as he said, “damn you’re so hot,” almost to himself.
He squeezed your breasts slightly, perfectly, then pulled down your neckline, freeing your nipples swollen by desire. His hand slithered down your spine to your ass and then he grabbed his bulge.
“Shit, I’m so fucking hard,” he said, his voice not as playful as usual. “Turn around baby,” he added. You did as he asked, trying to get your composure back as you looked up at him.
He cupped your tits again and took a nipple in his mouth. He sucked and licked it, making you whine “shit” softly, as you ran your fingers in his hair and pressed his face against your skin. He chuckled, so sure of himself, that he was even hotter than a second before, and sucked your other nipple. He coated it with his saliva then peppered your chest with kisses, up towards your neck and finally your lips, his tongue quickly pushed through yours, while he grabbed the hem of your short dress then pulled it over your head. He was in a rush and your head was dizzy.
His hands were rubbing your body as if he didn't know what to touch or where to stop, but he finally covered your pussy with his full hand, his fingers brushing the wet garment.
“Mmm yeah…” he said, and you didn’t take your eyes off him as he unbuttoned his shirt then freed his hard cock from his pants. The most gorgeous cock you'd ever seen, with a fat tip and a large vein that you loved to roll under your tongue.
“Come on, baby. I’ve been thinking about fucking your mouth since you called me,” he said, slowly jacking his thick cock with his fist, his stare full of lust.
He was insanely beautiful and hot as hell, with his shirt open over his broad chest, two chains resting at the bottom of his neck.
“Yeah? Well I’ve been thinking about cumming in yours since I called you,” you replied.
“Damn, you’re gonna kill me one day, you know that?” he smiled.
“Mmm… clothes off, red flag guy,” you told him, then sat on the couch, feet firmly planted on the ground, legs spread. Shameless.
Panties still on, you knew he loved to remove them himself.
“And light me a cigarette, big boy, will you?”
You were in charge again. He was letting you be.
A silent game between the two of you with rules that never needed to be stated.
He took his pack out of his shirt pocket and lit a cigarette then handed it to you, letting the smoke escape from him towards you. Then he undressed, slowly and sensually.
You watched him getting naked in front of you, dragging on your cigarette from time to time, arm resting along the backrest. He always made you feel safe, free, powerful.
He remained standing for a few moments, looking at you like you were the most beautiful woman in the world. His hard cock pointed towards the ceiling, slowly jacking off again after spitting into his palm. Even though the precum was flowing from his reddened slit.
He knelt down and placed his hands on your knees before moving up the inside of your thighs, the soft rub making you shiver. When he grabbed the hem of your panties, you lifted your hips to help him to pull them down slowly, revealing your glistening pussy and the butt plug you had inserted just before he arrived.
“Shit, baby…” his husky voice and eyes full of desire made you drool a little more. He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.
“Fuck… Take a drag, baby,” he asked, unable to take his eyes off your two holes. He spread your thighs wider by pushing on them with his shoulders. You exhaled the blue smoke slowly, looking down at him, kneeling between your thighs. So broad, so strong, but still at your knees, leaving you in full control of your femininity. It made him even more beautiful, even more attractive, even more sensual. He grabbed one of your thighs and kissed the sensitive skin, then placed it on his shoulder.
“Fuck you're so hot. A true free spirit, aren't you?”
He didn't let you answer and leaned down, running his nose up your folds. He growled as he licked them with the tip of his tongue, then moved away slightly to look at your cunt and ass.
He seized the plug and pulled on it slightly, until the widest part reached your ring, making you moan.
“Shit,” he said, unable to say more as he watched your muscle tighten every time the metal spread it apart.
“You always let them go down on you?” he asked, moving the plug deliciously back and forth, before sticking his tongue into your wet cunt. You let your head fall back against the back of the couch. He had always been a really good fuck, but he always ate you out divinely well, leaving you breathless as soon as he dived in.
“Mmm?” he insisted.
“Shit… you’re the jealous type now?” you pantered.
“No. It turns me on to think about it,” he answered, grabbing one of your breasts with his hands.
“Damn, Lucien you're twisted…” you whimpered. “Not always… shit… I… not all men are good at it,” you stammered.
He chuckled, so sure of himself, pushing a finger into your cunt already stuffed by his tongue. It was like he was all over your body, boobs, pussy and ass, and it was intoxicating.
“I think you forgot about your cig, baby,” he said, teasing. He wasn't one of those men. Of course he wasn't. He was so good at this.
You crushed the cigarette in the ashtray by the armrest. He was so good that sometimes he would make you come in less time than it took you to finish your cig. Then he’d grab it from your trembling fingers to take a drag while you were still trying to catch your breath.
His hand left your tit to press your hip against the sofa and he pushed his tongue into your drooling hole.
“Gonna come for me? Yeah, you're gonna come for me. Soak my face, baby girl.”
You used him to get off, rubbing yourself against his nose, hands tight on his head, thighs spread as wide as possible, giving him full access to your core. You were so aroused that some of your wetness was leaking down to the plug, making it even easier for him to fuck you with it.
“Lucien,” you whined. His hand tightened on your flesh, letting you use him like you needed until you came in his mouth.
He pushed two fingers in your cunt and looked the way your body was squeezing his thick digits pumping your cunt and the plug, until it finally stopped.
He pushed the metal all the way in then stood up and brushed your cheek as you looked up at him and straightened up, his cock inches from your lips. He held it tightly and you licked his shaft from his fingers to his tip, unable to tease him more. He growled when you took him in your mouth, focusing on the tip at first then deeper and deeper, getting your throat used to his width, and your saliva started to flow down his shaft to his fingers. Your hand caressed his balls full of cum.
“Fuck yeah, just like that,” he murmured.
You pushed his hand from his shaft and jerked him off slowly, licking his balls that you could never resist for long. He whimpered when you took one of them in your mouth, the thin skin rolling between your lips.
“You're so easy, Lucien,” you chuckled. It was your turn to make him fall apart, and you loved it.
“Shit, yeah, I'm easy with this damn mouth,” he agreed. “That’s it baby. Keep licking them.”
You pulled them up then tasted the skin behind them, gaze looking up at him but his eyes were closed, his hands resting on your head.
“You don’t want a cigarette, Lucien?” you bantered, then licked him again from his scrotum to his ass that you teased with the tip of your tongue.
“Fuck… I can barely breathe, no I can’t smoke right now, you little minx,” he whimpered as you took a ball in your mouth. You finally released it with a needy moan. Your core was already filled with warmth again and begging for release.
“Shit, you need it deep, right? Wanna ride it?” he asked as he held your elbow to get you up.
“No, want you to fuck me.”
“Come here then, baby. All fours. Lemme see that ass.”
You settled and he knelt behind you, rubbing his cock against your soaked folds, before grabbing the plug and pulling on it slightly, making your ring contract instinctively as it was stretching you.
He chuckled, then mocked gently, “that’s cute. As if he doesn’t want to get fucked.” He nestled his fat tip at your sloppy pussy then pushed in, and you stopped breathing for a minute under the feeling of his cock splitting you in two.
“How do you need me, baby? Need me to fix you up for a while, until next time?”
You moaned, feeling him push in your two holes.
“Tell me,” he insisted, filling you with his whole length and brushing against your cervix.
“Yeah, fuck…. Yeah, I need you to fix me.”
“Damn, baby,” he said, pulling out to eat your pussy from behind, and he removed the plug to press his nose against your ass before coming up to lick it.
“Oh god,” you whined, eyes rolling in the back of your head and fists squeezing the sofa cushions. He spat on your ass and watched the saliva run down and slide inside before licking at it, pressing his tongue against it then pushing in. Your ass opened up to let him reach inside and you couldn’t hold back a loud moan as he was lapping at your hole.
He spanked you and focused his tongue on your most private place before grabbing your ass with his two hands. You wanted to beg him to stuff you until he’d fill you with his seed.
“Lucien, please… Fuck me.”
He straightened up and pressed his tip against your cunt, pushing in slowly to let you feel all of him sliding in.
“Oh, fuck,” you whined.
Leaning on your forearms, you didn't move, letting him thrust into you, filling you so slowly that you could feel the vein of his cock brushing your insides.
“Oh, god, that’s good Lucien, fuck…”
“Yeah? Always takin’ me so good, baby…”
He started to fuck you, his thumb pressed against your ass, growls and moans escaping from his lips. He was watching you contract on his digit as he was filling your two holes.
“Mmm,” you hummed. “Harder, please,” you whined.
You knew he would do it for you, in the way you needed, even though you knew he would want to take his time, to get you used to him. But he had quickly understood why you called him. Because he would answer your needs, because you were safe with him. Because his cock was so big it was perfect for what you were looking for, to forget everything else. He knew you were scared to be loved, or to love, and didn't want that kind of relationship. That this way of fucking was what you needed. For now anyway, and maybe forever. He always smiled when you called him a red flag, unaware of that game he was still playing for you. He could find it funny, how wrapped he was around your finger, although you didn't even know it. Or maybe you just didn't want to see it.
He was rolling into you, faster than he wanted. Harder than he wanted. Because if it was the only way he could have you, he would never say no. Because he knew you wouldn’t fall for him, and it was probably for the best.
“Fuck, baby… your little cunt is squeezing me so hard… You know I can never say no to you, right?” he asked, sliding his hand down to your clit, eager to make you come. His entire length was pushing in and out, fucking your insides like no one else could. Not as deep, not as wide.
“Make me come, Lucien, please,” you whimpered.
His balls squeezed him painfully, waiting to give you what you wanted. When you came, tightening on his cock so fucking hard, it was enough for him to spit his cum deep into your core while he panted even louder than you, mouth crushed against your shoulder, nibling at it, his weight pushing on your back. You leaned forward and felt his length leave your cunt and his cum flowed when you lay down on the couch, under him. Already feeling so desperately empty.
He leaned towards you and kissed you. He knew you didn't want more, and wouldn't allow more. Didn't want some bullshit proximity.
He sat on the couch, putting your calves on his lap, while you stayed lying there. He lit up a cigarette for you, then another one for him. You smoked them silently until he got up and put his clothes on.
“Till next time?” he asked.
“Till next time,” you replied.
Thank you for reading 🙏
Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated ❤️
Follow @millafics and turn notifications on for fics updates
@littlemisspascal @pascalsanctuary
npt: tagging those who showed interest in the wip wednesday post, love you ❤️
@iamasaddie @itwasntimethatdidit40 @iknowisoundcrazy @thundermartini @sawymredfox
@yxtkiwiyxt @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 @baronessvonglitter @casa-boiardi @joelmillerisapunk
@tateypots @schnarfer @itsafullmoon @magpiepills @604to647
@ace-turned-confused @ghoulettesinspace @toxicanonymity
#pedro pascal#lucien de leon#lucien flores#lucien flores x reader#lucien de leon x reader#the uninvited#pedro pascal characters#lucien de leon smut#lucien flores smut#lucien flores x you#lucien de leon x you#the uninvited fic
147 notes
·
View notes
Text
ㅤ✴ㅤ𝖲𝖮 𝗂𝖭 𝖫𝖮𝖵𝖤ㅤ:ㅤ𝖧𝖨𝖱𝖮𝖳𝖠 𝖱𝖨𝖪𝖨
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a31210d23fdbb01c0d77df66d5b63cc3/de7afb39dda61228-3b/s540x810/046802cf70169a3b0c0c8588d56ce4fe814071f4.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ae3370935d5cbc36293d45e871fb5190/de7afb39dda61228-fd/s540x810/e27acb781169a9079b7d761207f52787c3174199.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a736900d8f8e1d8621edb69762da58f2/de7afb39dda61228-39/s540x810/b4466d7a0a9c485da63a7ecfd113a44053955c96.jpg)
❪ 𝖯𝖱𝖤𝖢𝗂𝖲 ❫ 宏田力 𝖺𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ 600 ✧ 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 ⸝⸝ 𝗐. ──── 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 🗯ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖻𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗁𝖽𝖺𝗒 𝖻𝗈𝗒 :𝗉
he randomly wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder and swaying slightly. he doesn’t say anything—just holds you like he needs to recharge. if you try to move, his grip tightens just a little. “don’t leave just yet,” he murmurs close to your ear, voice soft enough to make your heart melt.
he swears he’s not the jealous type, but the moment someone else makes you laugh a little too hard, he’s suddenly right next to you, head resting on your shoulder, a stupidly adorable pout on his lips. he just stares at you like a kicked puppy until you finally give him all your attention. and when you do, he gets oddly sassy, lips twitching into a smirk. “oh, now you wanna talk to me?”
he loves kissing you so much. slow, lazy kisses when you're tangled on the couch without a care in the world. rushed, breathless kisses when he’s missed you too much to be patient. teasing kisses where he pulls away just as you lean in for more, grinning at your frustration before finally giving in.
you’re his personal pillow. he never misses a chance to lay his head on your shoulder, lap, tummy—anywhere. whether you're on the bed, the couch, or lying on the floor just because, he’ll crawl over and settle his head on your stomach, arms wrapped around your waist. sometimes he just listens to your breathing, other times he absentmindedly presses soft kisses to your skin. if you run your fingers through his hair, he’ll sigh in contentment, nuzzling closer.
his closet is basically yours. he doesn’t even pretend to be annoyed when you steal his hoodies, just grins when he sees you drowning in the fabric after he gets home from work. “you know, you could just ask me to hug you instead.” but the moment you wear one of his shirts to bed? it’s over for him. he stares at you like you hung the stars before pulling you into his arms, lips brushing against your forehead. “yeah, you’re never giving this back.”
the second he sees you upset, everything else fades into the background. whatever he was doing—texting, cooking, playing a game—forgotten in an instant. he pulls you onto his lap without a word, arms wrapping around you tightly as he presses soft kisses along your temple, your cheek, the corner of your lips. “what’s wrong, baby?” his voice is low, gentle, laced with concern. but before you can even answer, he’s already on a mission to cheer you up—peppering kisses all over your face, nuzzling into your neck, whispering silly things just to hear you laugh. and when you finally do—when that giggle slips out despite yourself—he grins, triumphant, holding you even closer. “there it is,” he murmurs, kissing the corner of your mouth. “my favorite sound.”
he always needs to have you close, no matter where you are. his hand resting on your thigh absentmindedly when you're sitting together, thumb tracing soft circles against your skin. his fingers brushing against yours under the table, hooking your pinkies together. if you're walking side by side, his hand naturally finds the small of your back, guiding you gently through crowds.
when you're with friends, he’s just as clingy—an arm draped over your shoulders, pulling you close as he leans in to whisper something just for you. if you tease him about it, he just smirks, squeezing your waist. “what? can’t help it,” he shrugs, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. and to him, it is.
• 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝖽𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄 🗯 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 ───── 𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗅𝗒 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 ˆᗜˆ
tags @voikiraz , @coquettejunnie , @hanninova , @aloe-7 , @rizzkisworld , @lune-net , @k-films , @sgz-net , @kstrucknet
#⠀ ˊᯅˋ★net.com#lune-net#kstrucknet#k-films#&team#&team fluff#&team imagines#&team smau#&team x reader#&team headcanons#&team maki#&team maki fluff#&team maki headcanons#&team k#&team fuma#&team ej#&team nicholas#&team jo#&team yuma#&team harua#&team taki#&team smut#&team k fluff#&team ej fluff#&team fuma fluff#&team nicholas fluff#&team jo fluff#&team yuma fluff#&team harua fluff
110 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Wobbly Third Wheel
Summary: You and Steven have been going strong for a couple of months now. The only bump in the road is Marc, who for some reason, can't even seem to be cordial with you...
Marc Spector x Reader-centric, fluff and a lot of angst, mostly just a look at Marc's character
Note: I'm finally branching out past Twilight someone take a picture omg. But this is my first try writing for something different, so hopefully it goes well. I saw a Moon Knight edit on TikTok and now I'm back in my MK phase so... Anyways Enjoy!
In the beginning, you told yourself it was just him getting used to you.
Steven already told you all about Marc's past. His history with his mom which led to Steven's creation, the whole situation with Layla, Khonshu, being Moon Knight, basically everything.
So you weren't all that surprised when the grumpy American didn't exactly want to be your best friend. That's fair after all. You never asked to be best friends.
What you did ask, though, was for something like a mutual respect. A peaceful coexistence where you could both exist in your own spaces and interact in a kind way if you needed to.
Only, Marc seemed hellbent on, well, giving you hell.
He would go out of his way to order food for himself and not you, even if you were sitting on the couch right across from him. There have been a couple of times where you and Steven were out on a date, and Marc suddenly fronted. He would walk off, leaving you stranded and frantically searching for your boyfriend without any explanation or apology later on.
But the worst were the nights.
You had spent the night at Steven's place again, and it was currently the middle of the night. The moon was high in the sky, and London was quiet. You two were intertwined like vines, one of your legs between Steven's, his arms wrapped around your body in turn. It was hard to distinguish where you ended and he began.
It was nice, everything was peaceful.
Until Marc woke up.
He slowly blinked his eyes open, scanning their bedroom for anything that might have caused him to wake up. Finding none, he looked down at you.
And promptly got up.
That was always one of the worst things he did. Whenever you and Steven would be cuddling, or hanging out, or even just talking, if Marc fronted, he would always leave like there was a fire. Never an explanation, never a warning, just a complete tonal shift.
You know the boys can't necessarily control who comes forward, when they do, or how long they stay out. You know they have some level of control over it, but not a whole lot. And the way Marc looks at you when he suddenly fronts definitely leads you to believe that he's not the one behind the switch.
The surprise, followed by annoyance and slight disgust. His signature look whenever he saw you.
Marc roughly twisted out of your hold, not really paying any mind to if it woke you up or not. He sat up on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his hair and sighing as if he just got off a long shift.
Truth be told, he doesn't really know why he pushes you away like he does. He thinks you're nice enough. And clearly you love Steven. But there's just something about it, about even entertaining the idea of holding someone else close just like how he used to hold Layla.
Steven sometimes catches him fidgeting with his bare ring finger, running his fingertips over the indent left by his wedding band from all those years ago.
Layla moved on a long time ago, so why can't he? He doesn't know, and he doesn't really want to look too far deep into himself to figure it out.
You moved on the bed, groaning softly as you reached out for him. No, not him- Steven. You were reaching out for Steven. And he doesn't really want to think about the way his heart clenched when he thought of that.
"Steven," you groaned, your eyes blinking open sleepily as you turned to face him on the bed. His back was to you, but you recognized the tense line of his shoulders. The way his head was perpetually hung low like he was always guilty. Always a poor puppy waiting for another kick to land.
"Not Steven," he responded, his voice low and quiet. He wanted to be gruffer, to make himself sound tougher than he really did in that moment. But his body betrayed him, something it's been doing for years now.
"Marc," you whispered. He could hear you shuffling around on the bed, and when he glanced over his shoulder, he saw that you were now sitting up. No closer to him than before, still giving him the space he needed. He appreciated that.
"Just... just go back to bed," he sighed, running his hand over his face tirelessly. It was too late for this bullshit. Too late to be having a late night conversation with his alternate personality's partner who he's slowly starting to develop feelings for too.
"Are you alright?" you asked, your voice infinitely caring. So caring and kind and understanding that it grated on him.
"I'm fine. Go back to bed," he grumbled, moving to stand up.
"Wait," you called, grabbing his arm before he could go too far. "Please, can we just talk?"
"We have nothing to talk about. I'm not your boyfriend," he gritted, his voice tight.
He could hear your tired sigh, and he felt his heart clench at being the source of your sadness.
"I know you're not, but you're a part of him. A big part of him. Please, can't we just talk for a little bit? I'm tired of this passive-aggressive act you've had going on for weeks now," you pleaded. When he turned back to look at you, he was met with those sincere, loving eyes. The same ones he's seen through Steven's. A patient, caring gaze that you save only for those you love most. And he's part of that.
He huffs, trying his best to play the part of the annoyed, grumpy man he's always portrayed himself to be. "Fine. Talk," he grits, sitting back down on the bed and facing you.
You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. You realized this might be the only chance you have to change things, to at least convince Marc to be civil.
"Okay. Look, Marc, I'm not asking you to cuddle with me, or to kiss me or dote on me like Steven does. You're not him, we're not dating, I know that," you started, looking deep into his eyes. Marc hates to admit how his chest tightened at that, how he had to fight back the urge to do exactly that.
"All I'm asking is that we can coexist. I love Steven, and I want to be able to spend time with him without feeling like I'm intruding on your space," you continued.
"You are intruding on my space. This is my apartment, this is my bed, you're wearing my clothes," Marc grits before he can stop himself. The way you sigh and bow your head afterward makes him want to hurt someone. Mostly himself.
"I know... I'm... I'm sorry. I promise, I don't want to make you uncomfortable. That's what I'm trying to get at. But I can't work with you if you don't work with me," you pleaded.
He wants to scream. He wants to tell you that you're always welcome, that you don't need to work around him. But he can't. His pride is too fragile, his ego too small. To turn around now would be to wound himself.
"Well I don't know what you want me to do," he settled on instead. A non-answer he always gave Layla when they argued. It had the same effectiveness now as it did back then, which is not much.
"All I want is some communication. I'm not very good at picking up the differences between you two yet. And sometimes it happens so quickly I can't catch it. It's jarring, you know? To be cuddling your boyfriend one minute and then the next minute he just gets up and leaves with no explanation," you said, your voice dripping with worry and sorrow.
"So what do you want me to say?" he gritted. He needs to backpedal, he needs to go back, but he can't stop himself. "'Hey, it's not Steven anymore, so fuck off,'? Is that what you want me to say? 'Hey, it's Marc, get out of my goddamn apartment, I don't want you here and have never wanted you here'? Do you want me to tell you that you're a nuisance? That you take away from my limited alone time because you're always fucking here? That I can't get a moment's peace?"
The look on your face told him everything he needed to know. The lines between your brows, the slight purse of your lips, the wobble of your chin.
"If... if that's what you want to say, then go for it," you whispered, barely hiding the hurt in your voice. No, no, no. He doesn't want you to cry, he's never wanted you to cry.
But this is just who he is.
He's Marc Spector. Moon Knight. The guy who always manages to fuck up everything good that comes his way. The guy who ruined not only his life, but has managed to fuck up Steven's too. The one his broken brain made to be the good one, the one who was supposed to be happy and live a good life away from all of their trauma, he pulled him into it too. And now they're both broken. Everything he touches breaks, and clearly, you're no exception.
Your hand on his shoulder that pulled him back down into the bed, the one that urged him to keep talking, that was when fate was set. And the proof is right in front of him.
The love of his life, his second chance at happiness, crumbling to pieces in front of his eyes.
And yet all he could do was watch.
A tear slipped down your cheek, falling from those eyes that hold so much love, so much patience. He knows if he watched long enough, all the love that you held in there for him would disappear too, so he looked away.
He didn't say anything after that, he just got back up off the bed and stalked out to the kitchen. You were left to tremble silently, to reel and mull over what he just said.
The next day, Steven told you that he didn't mean it. He reassured you that Marc doesn't hate you, but you don't believe it. From your eyes, Marc has only ever pushed you away.
This is what always happens. Marc breaks your heart over and over again, constantly proving that he doesn't love you.
But when it's the dead of night, you don't notice your boyfriend's arms tightening around you. You don't hear the whispered confessions of love that slip from his mouth, missing that signature British accent. You don't feel the hesitant kisses he places on your cheeks and forehead, ghosts of affection that he believes aren't supposed to be there.
Marc thrives here, in the shroud of darkness where no one, not even Khonshu, can see the love in his eyes. No one can hear the vulnerability in his voice. No one sees the tremble of his hands or the reverence they hold. And no one, not even Steven, can feel the longing for love inside of him.
#fluff#angst#marc spector#moon knight#steven grant#marc spector x reader#steven grant x reader#moon knight system
79 notes
·
View notes
Note
sorry if this is too dark but if MC did die, how do you think each of them would react/the severity of the reaction? Obviously all of them would be crushed but I think Caleb would definitely either 1) end everything 2) end himself
Oh, I've written plenty of dark stuff before in other fandoms so...
So…do you guys have your tissues ready? Guys’ reactions to losing both you and the baby. For the sake of continuity, it follows the previous ask someone wondered about an MC with a risky pregnancy. I will be writing two other alternate “endings” another time (losing you, but baby lives & both you and the baby live. I won’t be doing a miscarriage/stillbirth one since no one asked.). These ficlets will also be available on AO3 in my fic collection, and we’ll chase after shooting stars.
(I actually do have a series with the guys grieving your death, but I am way behind on it. I have Zayne and Rafayel’s stories up if anyone’s interested in reading them.)
life moved on
Zayne would struggle internally, his logical side at war with his own emotional state.
He was a doctor. He knew there would always be a risk of loss. He himself sometimes had to be the one to deliver this type of unfortunate news to families.
Only, he just never imagined he would be on the receiving end one day.
He had monitored you throughout your pregnancy, learning more, and taking precautions wherever necessary. He knew the risk, he knew there was always that chance. But he had hoped. He had prayed. He had believed.
And it was all in vain.
He had been letting work consumed him. Life still moved on. The world would not stop for him, and there were still lives that he could save. There was not a moment to waste.
Sometimes, though, the world did slow down, everything pausing, such as now as he sat down at his desk lined with a row of photographs in frames. The snapshots of the life he had lost, of the future that should have been his, seemed to stare back at him in cruel mockery.
For just this moment, alone in his office, Zayne let his grief poured out, the heavy sobs filled the former silence in the room. In an hour, he would compose himself again, returned to being Doctor Zayne, and he would resume his duty, because life moved on.
But his heart stayed buried, resting with you and the child he lost.
no rest for the wicked
Rafayel falls into a deep depression, riddled with guilt, because he believes he is being punished for what he had said previously.
There was no rest for the wicked.
Rafayel couldn’t recall the last time he had slept peacefully, or even at all. Surely, this must be a punishment, right?
He had said such horrible words, so he was being punished for them, right? He didn’t deserve the baby, and he didn’t deserve you, so he was punished with the loss of both. That was a fair punishment, right?
He laughed, the sound so hollow and mirthless, his chest tightening with pain as tears trickled down his face.
Right. He didn’t deserve this.
So why should he deserve anything?
He grabbed an empty canvas and hurled it at the wall, destroying it instantly.
He didn’t deserve any of this.
He grabbed another, and another, and another. He incinerated several art pieces at various stages of completion, feeling nothing as they turned to ashes. He vandalized most of his studio, destroying his tools and everything he had ever created. There was no meaning to any of this anymore.
Heaving heavily and with a dagger in his hand, he turned to the grand canvas that filled the space of a wall. He plunged the weapon into it, dragging it down over and over again, his mind filled with a cacophony of his own voice and yours.
My fishie…I won’t leave you…
“Don’t lie to me…” he kept attacking the canvas, his words growing more frenzied, “Don’t leave me…I’m yours…I’m yours…you promised to stay…”
He dropped the dagger and fell to his knee, his forehead resting against the canvas as he sobbed. He was so exhausted, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep again in your arms.
“I’m sorry…”
forever would be nice
Xavier would feel so much guilt, almost as if he didn’t do enough to help you.
He felt so incompetent.
He should have done more. Should have done something.
Xavier could hear you scolding him, telling him it wasn’t his fault. Deep down, he knew it was true, but he wanted a reason, wanted an explanation for why that day happened. If he at least shouldered the blame, then maybe he could make sense of why he lost not only you but the baby as well.
Lately, it seemed like it was harder to wake up. He had not changed the bedsheet or pillowcases in a while, the scent of you still lingered, helping him sleep most nights. In these sweet dreams, he lived another life, his world completed with both you and the baby.
He wished he could dream just a little longer. Forever would be nice.
just enough
Sylus reverts to who he used to be, cold and distrusting.
There wasn’t enough alcohol in the world to numb this pain, but maybe if he drank enough, he could begin to forget.
Forget the you who had fearlessly took his hand no matter how dangerous he was, the you who had wanted to bring light into his dark world, the you who accepted him for who he was, loved him just as he was.
Sylus’ hand tightened around his glass, the force enough that it shattered and shards pierced his skin. He stared emotionlessly at his cut hand, the blood dripping profusely to the floor not even registering in his mind that it was his.
As his wounds healed on their own, his eyes glazed over, and he remembered another day when there was so much more blood than this. There was just so much blood on that hospital bed, and he remembered how his voice was completely raw as he screamed at the panicked doctor and nurses, and then the chaos subsided, an eerie silence had followed, his whole world gone in an instance.
There was no noise. There was no warmth. There was no joy. There was only this sudden void in his life again, one that he had tried to fill for so long.
Not enough alcohol to numb the pain, not enough punching bags for him to take his rage out on, and not enough money to bring back what was.
If he could trade away his riches, his power, his glory, he would in a heartbeat for a chance to have you back, because with you, everything was just enough. He desired nothing else but you, the love and happiness you had brought into his life was enough.
always by your side
Caleb wouldn’t be able to bear living in a world without you, since his whole life since childhood had revolved around you.
There were hushed whispers throughout the Farspace Fleet, all quieted in an instance whenever Caleb passed by. The Colonel was always a strict man, his presence demanding respect for his authority, but recently, there had been a change, his demeanor hardening, his violet eyes dulled, a despair hidden beneath his icy façade.
One night in warm June, he left Skyhaven in the dead of night, catching a late train to Linkon. He disembarked, empty-handed, his feet automatically moving, his mind muddled with memories of a little girl who came into his life so long ago, of his promise to always be by her side, their lives always intertwined until that one awful day he was taken from her.
However, nothing could ever keep him from you. He would always find his way home to you, and no matter the storms in your lives, he would find a way to right things.
You were both going to be happy. There was nothing make-believe about the life you two were going to have.
You had worn a white dress, him in his colonel uniform, and with your hand in his, he had vowed his life to you once more, his joy boundless when you echoed back to him similar words. After marriage came the baby carriage, and you were all going to be a family of three.
He had always taken care of you, and he still took care of you even when there were concerns about the pregnancy. He had done everything right, made sure you were safe throughout, so how could things have gone wrong in the eleventh hour?
The moment you slipped from his life, his whole world stopped, the nightmares he had thought were gone returned with a vengeance, haunting him with dreams of that day over and over again. He had failed you, the hospital had failed you, everyone had failed you, because he would rather believe this than ever think he was always meant to lose you over and over again until you were ripped from his life for good.
It wasn’t fair.
He wondered what sin he carried to be punished with the loss of both you and the baby. A baby conceived from love, an innocent being, never once taken breath but only knowing death. Caleb wondered what kind of God would be so cruel, wanting to scream his anger out, wanting to demand answers to all of the questions that had been haunting him.
He stopped walking, seeing a locked gate blocking his path. He stared at it dully before he pulled out a gun, shooting the lock once with perfect precision. He continued walking, the path he was taking lined with rows of gravestones of those long departed from this world.
The one he wished to see was secluded, in its own area and hidden away, just like how he had always wished when you were alive. The world had never deserved you, and now he was even more convinced, you were always too good for this Hell on earth.
A grave among bushes of hydrangeas, his breathing suddenly became ragged. The air was heavy and he was pulled to his knees, his lungs tightening as he struggled to breathe, but for this brief instance, there was a smile on his face as he let go of his control over his Evol.
The gun he used earlier levitated ominously.
He started laughing, tears in the corners of his eyes. He could hear your voice again. You were calling for him.
Caleb! Caleb!
“I’m here,” he whispered, “I’ll always be by your side.”
Caleb always kept his promises to you. Always.
Among the dead, a deafening noise resounded, startling the wild creatures that lurked around the area.
Surrounded by the pink and blue and white of the hydrangeas, the summer seemed so endless now as the ground was dyed in crimson.
#x — 💌#anonymous#love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace caleb#love and deepspace x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#xavier x reader#sylus x reader#caleb x reader#lads scenarios#love and deepspace fanfiction#lnds fanfics#THIS WAS ASKED FOR#DON'T BLAME ME FOR OBLIGING#GO READ THE 5 BFS FIC IF YOU WANT TO HEAL
102 notes
·
View notes
Note
Taking Quinn home to meet your parents for the first time? Could the reader have a little brother who knows who Quinn is? Pretty please? 🎀
"Oh, be warned, mom is probably going to give you a kiss."
From the driver's seat, Quinn gave you a peculiar look as he rounded the last corner before finally arriving at your parent's house. He didn't know what to do with the tidbit of information you had given him, which prompted you to elaborate. You knew you should have probably declared that a lot earlier, but it had simply slipped your mind. It had been quite sometime since you had brought anyone home since moving away.
"Just on the cheek! She's...just really affectionate!"
Returning his eyes to the road, Quinn's tone dropped, "Is there anything else I need to know?"
"Daddy will look at you like he wants to shoot you...but only for a few minutes."
It was a nervous laugh that came out of Quinn's mouth. "Yeah, that's uh-- that's good to know. Thanks-- babe."
"Oh, stop! You'll be fine!"
It was obvious Quinn was nervous, and while you tried to reassure him that everything was okay, he still looked at you with unease after parking the car. This was supposed to be a fun day, and you felt responsible for the sudden shift in the overall mood.
"I promise they'll love you!" You reached over and touched his hand. "I promise."
Quinn gave you the softest smile before following you out of the car. He shuffled silently behind you, up the sidewalk and to the front door where after a short moment, your mother answered your knocking.
"Oh, you finally made it!" She hugged you first before zeroing in on Quinn, who still was lingering on the porch. "You too, Quinn! Come on!"
While he got the mother treatment, you made your way over to your dad, who was getting up from his chair.
"So this is the guy, huh?" He wasn't the most affectionate man, nor the most chipper when it came to who his daughter was involved with, so you didn't take his lack of warmth too personally.
"Be nice! He's sweet, you'll like him. And I'm happy to see you, too!"
His grumble was to be expected. He had yet to "like" any of your boyfriends; his standards just seemed too high. "Mhm, you've said that before."
You'd roll your eyes before leaving him to go rescue Quinn. "Mom! Let him breathe!"
"Oh, he's fine! It's good to finally meet you! Y|N has told us quite a bit about you, but I'm sure she's been holding back!"
Yours and Quinn's cheeks flushed with pink; yours because your mom had just revealed how often you talked about him, and Quinn's because he was being talked about... Before either of you could open your mouths to say anything in objection, your little brother came running from his room upstairs. The sounds of his rapid footfalls made everyone turn towards the thuds. He had just turned fourteen and was loving being the only child in the house since you had moved out.
"Whoa, what is Quinn Hughes doing in our living room?" He had come to a stop in the middle of the staircase, and was staring at Quinn, mouth slightly open at the sight of the hockey player standing there.
"How do you know who he is?" Questioned your mother, confused by the sudden change of events. She looked from your brother, to you, and then finally at Quinn. He was smiling, hands in his pockets as he hated being the center of attention for anything.
"He's the captain for the Vancouver Canucks, mom!"
"The who?"
Your brother threw his head back as he sighed, still the drama queen you realized. "Hockey, mom! C'mon!"
"Attitude," barked your dad, growing more annoyed with the back-and-forth. Now was about the time that he took his afternoon nap, and like a toddler, he was getting grumpy. Your brother, ignored the fact that he was being reprimanded, an made short work of the rest of the stairs to stop right in front of Quinn. He had yet to even acknowledge you were standing there!
"You're like the best defenseman in the league! I can't believe you're in my house!"
"Meet your biggest fan, Quinn," you teased as your brother eyed you like he had caught you in the act of theft.
"You're dating my sister? What the heck?"
Quinn smirked despite the family dynamic being a little chaotic at the moment, "Yeah, for about a year now."
Your brother didn't know how to respond to what Quinn had said, and opted to give you another judgmental stare instead. He had been around ten when you moved out, and neither of you had been real close whenever you had lived together. Now, however, you felt like complete strangers; he only seemed interested that you were home because of who you had brought along.
"Gross! You could do better!"
"Parker!" Hissed both of your parents in unison. You stifled a snort at him getting double-teamed; poor Quinn, however, looked lost at sea.
"What? It's true!" He snickered, looking back at Quinn like he was going to somehow agree with the childish statement. "Hey, do you think you could sign one of my sticks?"
Breaking up your brother trying to be the center of attention, she turned back to Quinn, "Y|N said you played hockey, but we didn't realize you played professionally! You're so young! And Parker, leave him be, alright? There will be plenty of time for all of that later. They've not even taken their coats off! Come on, you two. Let me make you both something to eat. I'm sure you're hungry."
Parker couldn't get over the fact that he had just met his sports idol, your boyfriend no less. He couldn't wait to tell the team at practice. They weren't going to believe him!
#🗣 hockey mom daydreams#quinn hughes#vancouver canucks#quinn hughes x y/n#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes fic
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
Noah Thots🥰
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b0be0940711cd6625aafe8a20e4a7b24/94dbb0ef8f1eb7bc-07/s540x810/707596ca337c570ffe4b485ff61d6d73835cbb17.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/47cc37e5c3bcfff0278503b9c0e0df7d/94dbb0ef8f1eb7bc-0e/s540x810/f7e92f3d86d19ea2382622ba18c1374721c60d76.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f9b55b3f70e97087888541aa2e4ed640/94dbb0ef8f1eb7bc-84/s400x600/099fd1224d27595bc89bab3a4da31de95b6d3780.jpg)
Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader
CW: fluffy sub!Noah, a whole cutie patootie, obsessively in love with you
Author’s Note: I always see smut of sub Noah but rarely see the life outside of it. Imagine what this tall, strong, tattooed man is like when he’s at home, feeling safe and sound with his partner.
Tags: @theanarchymuse95 @dontwantthemoney @chey-h @badomensgoodomens @bloody-spades @blade-dressed-in-red @xmads-omensx @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @thatchickwiththecamera @tosoundlessdarkistare @lacy1986 @follow-me-down-to-wonderland
Living with Noah is like living with the most adorable and attention seeking pup. Once he steps in through the door and leaves his whole stage persona behind, he’s instantly by your side, every second of the day.
As you make dinner for the two of you, he’s walking around the kitchen with you like an oversized shadow, either keeping his hand attached to your waist as you move around, or burying his face in your hair or neck when you’re standing over the counter or stove.
Many times, you had to politely ask him to sit down, and like the good boy he is, he happily follows your orders, circling the island and sitting there, watching you with his chin on his palm, staring with eyes that you could swear turned into hearts.
And every time you glanced over at him with a sweet smile, his eyes would light up and a giant grin would form on his lips. There’s times you can almost see an imaginary tail wagging as you gave him the slightest bit of attention.
Sometimes, when you’re on the opposite side of the island, either cutting vegetables or preparing your plates, he stretches his arms out over the countertop towards you, chin resting against the cool granite with an expectant smile on his face as he silently begs you to spare him another glance, even if you were just talking to him seconds before.
When the two of you are hanging out in the living room, either watching a movie or an anime you’ve both seen a million times, he has to be touching you at all times. Most of the time, he curls his large lanky body around yours, causing you to wrap your arms around him tight to counter his weight, or else he’d pull you both down.
But his favorite position is when he can sprawl out with his head on your lap. You always rest one hand on either his arm or chest, giving him a warm feeling inside, while the other plays with his hair. Sometimes it becomes so routine that you just gently run your fingers through it, which he does adore, but what he loves even more is when you give him extra attention, chatting with him as you graze your fingers against his scalp, trailing down his temples and the nape of his neck. Softly massaging at his tight neck or jaw muscles while your other hand lovingly scratches circles against his chest.
He’s the kind of boy who instantly drops everything he’s doing when you call for him. Even when you don’t realize he was busy practicing or working on a song, he’s instantly popping his head into the doorway of whatever room you’re in and greeting you like a creature come from heaven.
He is always willing to do whatever you ask, even if you don’t outright ask it. If you mentioned something under your breath, like saying you were thirsty or that you hadn’t had a certain food in a while, the second he can allow himself to leave your side, he returns with a proud smile on his face and whatever you needed.
And he absolutely melts when you try and get his attention. His name leaving your lips is like a melody he wish he could recreate and listen to every second of every day, and the nicknames you give him almost short circuit his brain.
‘Darling’ has him willing to wait on you hand and foot. When he hears that name, he’s by your side before you can even blink, ready to hear whatever you have to say next.
‘My love’ has him melting into your touch. Every time you call him that, he’s instantly wrapping his arms around you, no matter what position you’re in. One time, you called him that while on the phone, and thankfully he had only run to the store, because he almost left the groceries as he rushed out to get back home to you, desperately needing you in his arms before he felt like he was going to explode.
And the first time, and every time since, that you called him ‘Baby Boy,’ his knees buckled and he stared at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen, the gorgeous chocolate brown locked on you, barely hearing a word you said because all that’s running through his head was how lucky he was to have you and how the love he feels for you is almost painful, because it consumes every cell of his being.
His obsession with you has lead to him begging on his knees to get you to join him on a 3 month long tour, knowing he’d never survive away from you for that long. It has lead to you learning what you could and couldn’t say to him in certain environments, once calling him ‘the sweetest boy’ when he got you a drink while you were hanging out with friends and he almost climbed into your lap just to prove to you how sweet he was.
Everyday, you start off your day reminding him how perfect he is and how he was yours, because you did it once and now, if he goes without it, he will actually start whining until you give him the validation he needs.
And you loved every second of every day with your needy boy, just knowing that someone loves and adores you so much that they couldn’t get enough of you.
#noah sebastian#bad omens#bad omens fanfiction#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian fic#noah sebastian reader insert#noah sebastion thots#bad omens thots#garbitch thots
67 notes
·
View notes
Note
Swapped sugar daddy anon crawling back into ur inbox, (I am continuing to write the beginning of their relationship, and ngl my respect for fic writers has tripled. I have no idea how you do this I feel like a 5 yr old smacking 2 barbies together and yelling kiss) and apologies for how long this is but I’ve been thinking about how everything eventually blows up in their faces and I kinda want it to be a pregnancy scare in her final year? They’ve been seeing each other for a few years now, and they get a little relaxed about things, they’re exclusive and she’s on the pill so they don’t have to worry about it. Until her period is several weeks late so she takes a test just in case and suddenly they really do. And oh god she wants kids, especially Emmrich’s kids, but not right now??? She doesn’t want to have to juggle pregnancy/a baby while writing and defending her thesis. They haven’t even talked about kids yet even if she’s pretty sure he wants them? He hasn’t acknowledged her hints about marriage, is it because he doesn’t want to marry her? She’s so scared about what this means and she needs Emmrich’s support and why is he being so weird and cagey about this? Does he think she’s trying to baby trap him? (She doesn’t know but he wouldn’t mind, he’d probably say thank you)
And Emmrich is in crisis mode. Now, he is a pro choice king so whatever rook wants is what happens, but also oh god he wants this child sooo bad. He’s always wanted kids but he’d kinda given up on it at this point and add in that it’s Rooks baby? a little piece of their love made physical (Don’t think too hard about how she doesn’t really love you Emmrich). An excuse to still see her sometimes, even if it means watching her eventually move on and marry and start a family with someone else. Even if she doesn’t want to be involved he could keep this little part of her (its only for a second, but he thinks he’d give her anything she asked for, he’d pay off her student loans, he’d buy her a fucking house, if she let him have this even if she walks away from it) but she can’t know that. He’d never forgive himself if he pressured her into this no matter how much he wants it. And he realises how completely and utterly fucked he is. Rook is the love of his life but he isn’t hers and there’s no way that this can continue as it is. If she keeps the baby she’ll never really be able to leave him behind, and is he selfish enough to ruin her life like that? He’s already bought the last three years with fancy restaurants and expensive gifts, what can he possibly offer her that’s worth the rest of her life?
I’m still not 100% sure about how it all comes out but I imagine that it's probably a fight, their first big real fight, about how rook feels like Emmrich’s being avoidant and unsupportive and Emmrich is fighting for his life bc internally he’s hanging on by a thread, like why is she treating this like their relationship is actually real? He’s trying to build up some emotional distance bc no matter how this goes he’s kinda fucked and he wants to make sure that he makes it through this at least somewhat emotionally intact. I think rook eventually calls him out on this, saying something about how she thought he was serious about this, about her, how she thought they were gonna get married but how he’s acting is making her rethink that bc it doesn’t seem like he is very serious about her right now. And he says something about how of course he wants to marry her but he wouldn’t put her in that position bc he knows it would be unfair to ask her for that. And rook is like what the actual fuck are you talking about Emmrich? And Emmrich is crying at this point, quietly and very prettily but he is crying. And this is when the misunderstanding comes out, where Emmrich is like “I know you don’t actually love me and I don’t expect you to, but I would appreciate it if we could discuss this situation without pretending that you do.” and this is when rook starts to put the pieces together and is like “wait do u think i'm only with you for your money” and Emmrich’s like “yes? Why else would you be dating me?”
I have absolutely zero ideas on how this is actually resolved but i know that emmrich 100% ugly sobs at some point. And realistically he’s probably still quite insecure about whether or not rook actually does love him but i feel like they work it out eventually and get married and are disgustingly happy together.
Also idk if they keep the baby or not, but they absolutely have at least 1 kid at some point.
BABYYYYYY I am ON MY KNEES begging you to publish this because I have read and re-read it so many times that I’m basically in a parasocial relationship with your asks. At this point, just reading your ideas is activating my primal hunger instincts. I’m starving. I am THIS CLOSE to organizing a fandom-wide intervention where we collectively cyberbully you into dropping this holy manuscript.
The way I flatlined at "pro-choice king"—like, I ascended. I left my body. LMAO
Listen, I am normally violently allergic to the "and they lived happily ever after with 2.5 kids and a suburban mortgage" trope. I break out in hives. I see it, and suddenly the book I loved turns into a mid-tier Hallmark movie where the protagonist goes from slaying demons to clutching her stomach and whispering “oh my god.” Like, girl. GIRL. No. Keep that away from me. Anyway, thanks for attending my TED Talk.
BUT. FUCKING. EMMRICH VOLKARIN. This man was engineered in a lab to be a father. He was born for it. I go absolutely rabid over the idea of him having a daughter. He is so girl-dad-coded that it’s spiritual. Rook so much as mentions her period is late, and this man is weeping.
He’s already drafting a will.
He's calling his lawyer.
He’s distributing his gold bars.
He’s making her his sole life insurance beneficiary.
"And rook is like what the actual fuck are you talking about Emmrich?" — lmfao nah for real. What did you think these last three years were? And Emmrich does that Gob face from Arrested Development, you know the one:
I want him to cry and then I want them to fuck and then I want him to cry while they fuck. That's it, your honor.
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
In the Back of My Mind
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/942e0b47618b0fd407ab09932124bead/73be9c4b1b1bcbcd-b2/s540x810/57763a066d52f476e0d8abd9d6ebe889ebc1fc7b.jpg)
Rhysand x Reader
Summary: She was his past, and you were his present—but in the quiet moments, when his gaze lingered too long or his touch felt too careful, you couldn't shake the feeling that some ghosts never truly leave.
Based on the song: WILDFLOWER by Billie Eilish
───────────────────────────────
Things fall apart And time breaks your heart I wasn't there, but I know She was your girl You showed her the world But fell out of love and you both let go
There were nights when you could almost forget. When Rhysand’s hands mapped every inch of your skin with reverence, when his laughter echoed through the town house, dark and intoxicating, filling the space between your ribs with warmth. Nights when his love wrapped around you like the starlit sky, infinite, undeniable.
But then there were nights like this.
You weren’t sure what triggered it. Maybe it was the way he had hesitated when he mentioned Velaris earlier, his lips barely forming the name before his voice tapered off like he had suddenly lost the words. Maybe it was the way his fingers had brushed over a certain page in a book—a page you hadn’t seen, but something in his expression had shifted, just for a second.
Or maybe it was the fact that, no matter how many times he told you he loved you, a whisper of doubt always lingered in the back of your mind.
She had been here first. Feyre.
And you were the one who came after.
She was cryin’ on my shoulder All I could do was hold her Only made us closer until July Now, I know that you love me You don't need to remind me I should put it all behind me, shouldn't I?
You curled your fingers around the edge of the silk sheets, your back pressed against the headboard as Rhys sat on the other side of the bed, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion. You should have left it alone. He had been nothing but patient with you, had never once made you feel like you were anything less than his equal. His mate.
But the words clawed their way out of your throat before you could stop them.
“Do you ever think about her?”
Rhys stilled. His breathing barely changed, but you felt it. The shift in his energy, the careful way he lifted his gaze to meet yours. The High Lord of the Night Court, with all his power, all his control—hesitating.
You swallowed, wishing you could take it back. But the damage was already done.
He sighed, rubbing a hand over his jaw before answering. “Y/n—”
“Just tell me.” Your voice was quieter than you intended, but it didn’t waver. “I don’t need you to lie to me, Rhys.”
For a long moment, he didn’t speak. Then, finally, “Yes.”
The word landed like a weight in your chest.
“I see her in the back of my mind sometimes,” he admitted. “Not because I love her. Not because I wish things were different. But because…” His voice softened. “She was a part of me. For a long time.”
You nodded, lips pressed together, ignoring the way your throat burned. “I know.”
Well, good things don't last And life moves so fast I'd never ask who was better 'Cause she couldn't be More different from me Happy and free in leather
Feyre was everything you weren’t. She had been a warrior, a queen in her own right. A beacon of strength and fire. You… you weren’t sure what you were. A woman in love? A second love?
You pulled the blankets tighter around yourself. “Do you think about what it would’ve been like if things had worked out?”
Rhys turned then, fully facing you. His expression was unreadable, shadows flickering in the violet depths of his eyes. “No.”
You exhaled. “You don’t have to—”
“I don’t.” His voice was firm. “Because things didn’t work out. And they weren’t supposed to.”
You bit your lip, looking down at your hands. “But you were meant to be mates.”
His silence was deafening.
You already knew what he was thinking. The bond between mates was rare—rare and sacred. And yet, here you were, bound to him, despite the one he had once shared with Feyre.
What did that mean?
You say no one knows you so well But every time you touch me, I just wonder how she felt Valentine's Day, cryin’ in the hotel I know you didn't mean to hurt me, so I kept it to myself
The worst part wasn’t the memories he had. It was the ones you didn’t.
It was the fact that he had once known her body as well as he knew yours. That his fingers had once traced someone else’s lips, his voice had once whispered devotion to someone else in the dark. That there were moments—small, seemingly insignificant moments—where you wondered if she had ever felt the same way you did now.
You thought about the way he held you at night, the way his fingers tangled in your hair, the way he kissed you like you were the only thing tethering him to this world. Had he held her that way? Had he ever made her feel like she was his universe?
You hated yourself for wondering.
Rhys moved closer then, his palm cupping your cheek. “I know what you’re thinking.”
You forced a laugh. “Doubt it.”
“I do.” His thumb traced a slow line along your jaw. “You’re wondering if you were the second choice.”
The words sent a sharp ache through your ribs. You hadn’t meant to be so transparent.
He tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. “You weren’t.”
You swallowed. “Rhys…”
“I loved her,” he admitted, voice low. “But I love you differently. I love you more.”
You blinked up at him, your heartbeat hammering in your ears.
“Feyre and I…” He sighed. “We were never meant to last. We held onto something that had already faded, because we were too afraid to admit that we had outgrown each other.” His fingers brushed against your collarbone. “But you? You are my future. You are the one I wake up for, the one I fight for, the one I dream of.”
Tears burned at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall.
“I need you to believe that,” he murmured, pressing his forehead against yours. “Because I do.”
And I wonder Do you see her in the back of your mind in my eyes?
You inhaled shakily, letting his warmth sink into you, letting his words settle into the cracks of your doubts.
Maybe she would always exist in the back of his mind, just as the people you had loved and lost existed in yours. Maybe there would always be echoes of the past.
But they did not define the present.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
Want to join my tag list? Drop a comment or check out this link to submit a specific series you would like tagged in! (Or if you just don't want to comment, that's okay too)
#fluff#reader insert#x reader#oneshot#acotarxreader#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#acotar series#acosf#rhysandxreader#rhys acotar#rhysand#acotar fanart#rhysand acotar#fem reader#female reader#oneshots#imagine#one shot#imagines#x you fluff#Spotify
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
pov: you are dating oikawa tooru
[oikawa tooru+fluff+dating+headcanon]
words count: 754
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2875c11f62b78ac1cbe229451abdce03/4de6481016b3d059-49/s540x810/8404013fbd1dddff66fa3dd854269b1e11bfb8c5.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4070a9d061fbdc4de0af30e3ae9f2bd1/4de6481016b3d059-8c/s400x600/a31b4f792ec0137d5fd220e5c9242fbf88a8ba44.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c971abd1368f6c1255d39e6c1010eff6/4de6481016b3d059-b1/s540x810/c5747ecd2b48152064bf608471ef8c1fbbcfb454.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fe17e7bdbb05560bc98aac297c719785/4de6481016b3d059-6d/s540x810/deafb59c1f560f510b421cb855f1b6358aba0b7b.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1f539f2c697d239fd42f7a90d73b4822/4de6481016b3d059-6c/s540x810/3f626660e8edfe48350fd9d61a3106b9fea2d83b.jpg)
dating oikawa tooru is basically like dating someone who is both your biggest headache and your biggest fan. he’s dramatic, he’s affectionate, he’s confident—except when he’s not, and that’s when you see the real him. the one that’s overworked, constantly trying to prove himself, and secretly a little insecure. but if there’s one thing that never changes, it’s how much he adores you. he’s also one of the most devoted boyfriends you could ever have. he loves loudly. he makes sure you know exactly how much he adores you, whether it’s through grand gestures, teasing texts, or random compliments that leave you speechless.
he is so proud to be with you. it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating, he still acts like he’s trying to impress you. one time, he played an entire practice match better than usual just because you were watching. iwaizumi literally dragged him by the collar afterward like, “stop showing off, trashykawa.” he’s so in love with you, and he makes sure you and everyone else knows it.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ea3c9957c9364435c46bfc2ce84e7cdb/4de6481016b3d059-00/s540x810/adeb658d4b6b74ac74c254a49f2602cf3ae65e8b.jpg)
𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 things he does:
- sends you soooo many selfies. sometimes he looks good, sometimes he’s making the ugliest face possible. usually with captions like "thinking about u~" or "this is the face of a man in love with u (lucky u!)" either way, he expects compliments.
- keeps a picture of you in his volleyball bag. not just on his phone, but physically. when makki and mattsun found out, they would not shut up about it.
- walks you home after practice, even if his legs are dead tired, because “what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you go alone?”
- insists on braiding your hair if it’s long enough, “trust me, i have an older sister, i know what i’m doing.” if it’s short, he just plays with it absentmindedly when you sit next to him!
- sometimes steals your hoodies, your hair ties, your snacks—anything that belongs to you, he will claim.
- insists on calling you his [y/n], like it’s a title. “sorry, i have plans with my [y/n] today,” he’ll say dramatically, hand over his chest like he’s the most devoted boyfriend in the world.
- very touchy. a hand on your waist, fingers brushing against yours, a kiss on your forehead before a match—absolutely demands a good luck kiss before every game. even if it’s just a forehead tap or a quick peck on the cheek, he won’t step on the court without it.
- loves taking couple pictures. like, a ridiculous amount. “wait, wait, the lighting is good here—one more!!”
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ea3c9957c9364435c46bfc2ce84e7cdb/4de6481016b3d059-00/s540x810/adeb658d4b6b74ac74c254a49f2602cf3ae65e8b.jpg)
𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 how he handles arguments:
- oikawa is stubborn. and sometimes, his pride gets the better of him. when you two argue, he tends to react on instinct, maybe gets a little defensive at first, a little whiny “but that’s not what i meant—”. but once he cools down, he really cools down. he’s self-aware enough to know when he’s being immature, and even if it takes him a few hours, he will come back and apologize properly.
- step one: pout dramatically somewhere nearby, making it obvious he’s sulking.
step two: rethink everything he said, realize he was kind of dumb, groan into his hands.
step three: find you, hug you from behind, and sigh deeply “okay, okay, i get it. i was wrong.”
step four: bury his face into your shoulder and dramatically whine about how much he missed you in the last three hours of not talking.
- he’s not afraid to admit when he messes up because he hates being on bad terms with you. he’d rather swallow his pride than stay upset, but he also makes sure to explain how he feels, too. he wants you to understand why he acted a certain way, not just say sorry and move on.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ea3c9957c9364435c46bfc2ce84e7cdb/4de6481016b3d059-00/s540x810/adeb658d4b6b74ac74c254a49f2602cf3ae65e8b.jpg)
𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 how things is with his fans..?:
- you definitely get some side-eyes from his fangirls, but oikawa is surprisingly firm about it. he likes that people admire him, but he loves you. and he makes that clear.
- oikawa, to his credit, is never dismissive about your feelings. if you ever feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, he takes it seriously. he reassures you constantly, never giving you a reason to doubt his feelings.
- whenever someone crosses the line—like leaving mean comments about you, he doesn’t hesitate to shut it down, “if you respect me, you should respect my relationship, too.”
- he also makes it obvious he’s taken. posting pictures with you, walking you home, literally introducing you as his girlfriend, it’s impossible to mistake it.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2deb2c055b028e517621fafe94b898c3/4de6481016b3d059-5f/s540x810/b63de18c55659c2eb45a0ce4d2307d7abefab187.jpg)
also, i kinda want to talk about this:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/65078b9b3c46e4e3bd07ce30821a8500/4de6481016b3d059-3b/s540x810/5a4f8493d980de79397568ebcdebb8bad653733d.jpg)
i saw some people on tt talking about this n someone said "she probably dumped him because he's flirty with his fans" hmmm i don't think so 😊 i feel like it was probably more about his obsession with volleyball. we've literally see how intense he is with vb, his entire life revolves around the sport. i wouldn’t be surprised if he neglected his relationship without realizing it, which would obviously a much bigger issue. so yeah, i doubt it was because of the fangirls. but like, it hasn't been confirmed so..
i apologize if there's any mischaracterization!
#oikawa tooru#oikawa x reader#haikyuu oikawa#tooru oikawa#haikyu x reader#haikyuu#headcanon#x reader#x you#x you fluff#x y/n#x y/n fluff#aoba jōsai#aoba johsai#idk how to tag this#haikyū!!#for fun#we love him#timeskip#oikawa x you#hq oikawa
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Maybe this is me being bitter because of 10+ moves in my childhood but I'm always a bit disappointed and see it as a cop-out when children's shows tease the main family moving and then don't follow through
#wren rambles#this is mostly about bluey i think#havent seen the new episodes so im not sure if theyre actually following through with it#but it just feels like a bit of a slap in the face to me#girl meets world did this as well#idk man there's just something about seeing characters be afraid of leaving everything behind#and then not facing that fear#the general message is 'its best for the kids to stay behind with their friends'#but. is it?#does that mean i didnt have the best childhood i could have?#idk man. i think it would be interesting to see them commit#like yeah it would mess up the entire status quo of the show and have to introduce new characters and all#but like. i think it would mean a lot to kids like me who never stayed in one place for long to see their struggles addressed#sometimes you DO have to move and leave everything behind#and sometimes it IS good.#and sometimes its horrible and sucks but thats still life
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some Tips for writing internal conflict
Wanting Two Things at Once Imagine your character really wants to chase after something big, like a dream school, a major opportunity, or maybe even moving to a new city. But at the same time, they’re terrified of leaving behind everything they’ve ever known. Or maybe they’re in a relationship that’s holding them back, but they can’t bring themselves to let go. Show them getting pulled in two directions, torn between their ambition and their fear of losing the people or places that ground them.
Right vs. Wrong Sometimes, your character will know deep down what the right choice is, but it’s the most difficult one to make. Like, maybe they see someone getting bullied and know they should stand up, but doing so could make them a target. Or maybe they have to decide between helping a friend and doing something that could ruin their own future. These moral dilemmas create intense internal conflict because it forces them to question who they are and what they stand for.
Doubting Themselves We all have moments where we wonder if we’re enough, smart enough, strong enough, brave enough. Let your character wrestle with that same doubt. Maybe they’re the kid who has always been told they’re special, but now they’re in a place where everyone is just as good, and they start to wonder if they even belong. Or maybe they’ve been through something tough, and they’re not sure if they can bounce back. These moments of insecurity make your character feel human, like they’re trying to figure it all out, just like everyone else.
Dreams vs. Fears Show your character dreaming big but getting frozen by their own fears. It’s like wanting to ask someone out but being terrified of rejection, or wanting to move away for college but being scared to leave home. Let them imagine all the things that could go wrong , that moment when fear makes them doubt if they should even try. But also show their desire burning just as strong, making it impossible to ignore. That’s the heart of internal conflict: they’re stuck between wanting something so bad and being afraid of what it’ll cost to go after it.
Beliefs Being Challenged As your character grows, the world will start challenging their beliefs. Maybe they grew up in a family that drilled certain values into them, and now they’re meeting people who see things differently. Or maybe they’re experiencing something new, and it’s changing their perspective. It’s like when you think you have everything figured out, and then life throws something at you that makes you go, "Wait, maybe I’ve been wrong this whole time." This kind of internal conflict is powerful because it forces the character to question who they’ve always been.
Keeping Secrets If your character is hiding something, like a mistake they made, feelings they’re afraid to admit, or a truth they don’t want to face, that secret becomes a huge part of their internal conflict. The fear of being found out or of dealing with the consequences can create a constant pressure in their mind. Maybe they’re scared they’ll lose their friends if the truth comes out, or maybe they’re dealing with guilt they can’t shake. The tension comes from their battle to keep it hidden while knowing they can’t keep it locked away forever.
Pressure from Everyone Your character might feel like they’re trapped between what they want for themselves and what everyone else wants from them. It could be pressure from parents, who have their whole future planned out, or pressure from friends to fit in or follow the crowd. Maybe your character wants to be true to themselves, but they’re scared of disappointing people or standing out too much. This kind of internal conflict is super relatable because, at some point, everyone feels like they’re stuck between living for themselves and living for others.
Fear of Failing Sometimes the biggest obstacle isn’t the external challenge but the internal fear of failure. Your character might have big dreams, but they’re paralyzed by the thought of messing up. Whether it’s competing in a sport, performing on stage, or just trying something new, the fear of not being good enough can be overwhelming. Maybe they’re afraid that if they fail, everyone will see them differently, or worse, that they’ll see themselves differently. The internal conflict comes from their desire to succeed battling against their crippling fear of failure.
#writing#writerscommunity#writer on tumblr#writing tips#character development#writing advice#oc character#writing help#writer tumblr#writblr#writing prompt#novel writing#creating ocs
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬, 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬, 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬 ✧ Feat. JJK MEN
𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ── Jjk Men in their -real- Daddy era. (Am I secretly having a baby fever LMAOO)
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 ── fluffy stuff, pure wholesomeness and affectionate dads.
𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢
It's safe to say that sometimes you're raising two babies - only one of them is a big buff pouty one.
Daddy Toji sneaks to the kitchen in the middle of the night, leaving you both sleeping in your shared bedroom and then slowly closes the door. He promised himself he'd only take one *unnoticeable* spoon of your newborn's baby formula but ends up stuffing his face with the forbidden powder in the heat of the moment. He tries his best to hide his tracks by shoving the tin somewhere far in the cupboard.
He *oddly* always makes sure to be the one preparing his baby's bottle the next day - 'Oh darling, don'tcha move a muscle...I'll be right back with our baby's breakfast!'
You smile and raise a brow, already suspecting something. Daddy Toji is not much of a morning person. much less when it comes to baby chores...
𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮
Gojo is always there whenever you change your baby's diaper. He keeps laughing and giggling like a 6 year old, curiously learning from his baby momma how to take care of his little child. His sky blue eyes are staring at your skilled hands, handling your precious little one with infinte care. He keeps smiling in awe, chuckling every time your baby farts and making the funniest faces just to make them giggle.
He takes a million pictures of his baby every day; we're talking his whole camera roll is just his baby's face, cutesy hands, tiny feet, smiling, eating, sleeping on daddy's chest, drooling on his shoulder...the list never ends.
His baby looks so smol when he holds it in his huge hands. He has to bend all the way down just so he could pick them up cause obviously my dude is the tallest man ever.
𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢
He'd take full care of your newborn just to see you rest and relax. He told you to teach him everything he needs to know so that he'd be perfectly fit for his new -and best ever- occupation; your baby father. He's got however only one pet peeve; getting his little one to burp after feeding them.
The reason? He was doing it once, holding the baby while gently patting its back...until he suddenly felt a warm liquid slithering down his shirt - the expensive one you dearly gifted him on your wedding anniversary- and to his surprise it was none other than his little one's vomit dripping down his shoulder...
Now he makes sure you hold a napkin behind him whenever he does it.
𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨
He's by far the chillest Daddy EVER. Carries his little one whenever he goes. Gets super jealous when your baby starts calling for you, or wants you to hold them instead of him. He's determined to make them say 'daddy' first, but deep down knows it'd melt his heart when he sees the little version of him utter mommy's name for the first time.
Staying awake at night putting his baby to sleep just so you can get your full nightly rest is something he'd never miss out on. He hates seeing you tired or sleepy and puts both of your needs before anything else.
Daddy Geto is always calm and smiley, no matter how much mess his baby makes or how long it'd take for him to clean it up - sometimes makes you seriously wonder how he manages to be so damn chill all the time.
𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚
For a husband twice your size with four arms and eyes he sure should take most care of your little offspring - He does tbf - His baby is always laying somewhere on his body or at least near him; sleeping against his chest, nibbling on his thumb, drooling on the side of his shoulder or sitting on his huge lap.
He's got a 6th sense whenever it comes to his baby being hungry, thirsty, sleepy or needing anything at all. Instantly knows the reason why his little one is crying and most of the time is very quick to make them happy again.
Absolutely hates poopie smell and calls them a brat whenever he senses their diaper getting heavier. 'Aggh you little runt!' You can't help laughing at him getting overwhelmed with such a tiny thing and start teasing him over it.
𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐘𝐮𝐮𝐭𝐚
There's nothing that Yuuta loves more than children. He has always wanted to have kids and couldn't wait to create his very first and own one with you. He's in LOVE with seeing you taking care of them; almost admiring every move and every word you say. He smiles like an idiot whenever he sees you holding your baby, breastfeeding them, playing with them or even laying next to them.
His favorite game is to hide somewhere in the house and let his little one look for him. He does it so suddenly and quickly, leaving them puzzled with big round eyes - comes out of his hideaway when they start sobbing and laughs at their little red nose and pouty cheeks.
'Aww why is my little cupcake cryiiing?...Daddy's right here!'
#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk imagines#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#toji x reader#toji x you#jjk smut#toji imagine#jjk toji#toji smut#toji fushiguro#fushiguro toji#jujutsu kaisen#nanami headcanons#nanami kento x reader#nanami x reader#nanami kento#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x you#gojo satoru#gojo imagine#gojo satoru smut#suguru geto#geto suguru smut#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#geto suguru
13K notes
·
View notes
Note
A multi-headcanon request please. How the boys react when they discover their s/o has been hiding a wound from them because she had it under control and didn't want to give them something else to worry about
Hi! Thanks so much for the request and all the support! Have written a little fic for each of the guys, starring... - Xavier, Deepspace Hunter extraordinaire ✨ - Linkon's worst best baking partner, Zayne 🍪 - Drama queen Rafayel 👑 - King of self-care, Sylus 💅
Putting On A Brave Face
L&DS Boys x Reader
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/60c1abb3404fefb6bb154e3039a2555a/8970572f5d4a0769-2e/s540x810/368493824f7c9fcd0b75bebe0266fb2d77c1b4c4.jpg)
Summary: Sometimes, a certain hunter likes to say things are fine when they definitely aren't...
Genre: A lil bit of angst, mostly fluff + comfort!
Warnings/Additional tags: female reader, established relationship, swearing, canon pet names, some injury details/blood mentioned, teeeeency bit of suggestion (I'm looking at YOU, Sylus...)
| Word count: 4k (1k each!) | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e581613fb2547be17c8cb3c02b0d49a2/8970572f5d4a0769-db/s540x810/e00d45597eb9c9682678a460d8ffb665fca2f906.jpg)
Xavier ⭐
This is bad. Not ‘end of everything as we know it’ bad, but definitely ‘an obscene amount of paperwork’ bad.
You clutch one of your pistols to your chest— deep breath— and you listen carefully, your head leant back against the rock you’re using as cover. Your mind latches on to every sound: each growl, each rumble of earth that marks the movements of the Wanderers that have trapped you here.
You’ve fought worse odds, but then again, you don’t usually have to do it with a broken leg.
Or maybe just sprained? You shift a little, trying to move, and the pain that sears through you settles the debate in an instant. Your teeth sink into the back of your hand to keep you from crying out.
You hope Xavier’s ok. You sent him your co-ordinates minutes ago, and the lack of response has worry gnawing away at the deepest parts of you. You check your hunter’s watch.
Still nothing.
Another deep breath, and you readjust your position as much as you can. Balancing on your good leg, you manage to peer over the top of the rock to get a visual of your surroundings.
There’s four, no— five Wanderers. Stupid no-hunt zone; you’re never not outnumbered.
You can see your second pistol, abandoned in the middle of the clearing where you’d dropped it. There’s flickers of movement, too: further in the woods. More Wanderers. Shit.
You duck behind the rock you’re starting to think might be your new home. Then your watch flickers, broadcasting a map of the area, and there’s the co-ordinates of another hunter, closing in fast.
Something flashes in the clearing, lighting the dark of the forest like a stutter of lightning. Then again. Then again. There’s a blood-curdling roar, and it ends— abrupt— with another flash.
Everything goes silent, save for a familiar voice calling your name.
“Xavier!” you call back.
You peek over the rock to see your partner jogging towards you, dead Wanderers littered behind him. “Are you alright?” he asks, his voice soft as always, but his sword is still dripping blood.
“I’m ok.” You clamber up, using the rock as a seat when the small effort almost breaks you. “You?”
Xavier draws close— his gloved hands on your face, cupping your cheeks. His thumb grazes over a shallow scrape on your brow. “Yeah,” he answers.
“Did you find that weird Wanderer?”
He shakes his head: no. Steps back to check his watch. “It’s probably moved on to a different zone by now.”
“Then we should look for it,” you say, standing up. All of your weight is on one leg.
“Ah,” Xavier ponders, rubbing his neck, “really? I thought we should maybe head back.”
“No need.” And what’s the plan here, exactly? You can’t walk. You definitely can’t fight. Maybe you can wait here while he— no. He’s never going to leave you. “I told you I’m ok.”
“But you’re not.”
“I am,” you assert. You’re determined to convince him and your own, useless body. It’s just a sprain. It is just a sprain. You take a step forwards and stumble, your bad leg crumpling beneath you.
Xavier catches you, strong and solid, and he's holding you like you’re something delicate. He sets you down on the rock again. The pain is making your vision swim.
“You’re hurt,” he reasons gently, even though the truth of it is a knife that’s twisting in your heart. He seems to sense your reluctance: “There’s no shame in admitting that. It happens. Let’s go back.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m slowing you down, Xavier!” you gush. Your heart is split open and it has to bleed somewhere. “You have no idea what it’s like… being your partner.”
He’s looking at you with so much guilt and gods, you wish that somewhere was anywhere but his hands. “What do you mean?” he asks on a shaky breath.
“I love working with you.” Soften the blow. “I love being with you, but you don’t need me. You’re this incredible hunter. This figure of legend, of everyone’s stories. You can do so much on your own and I just don’t know how to keep up. I mean, look at me— I can’t.”
You feel sick. Empty. “You shouldn’t have to hang back for me,” you finish limply. “You’re you, Xavier. You can fight like a hundred Wanderers and still come out unscathed.”
The blue of Xavier’s eyes has grown understandably more turbulent, though it settles a little. He seems to relax. “Yeah… about that,” he mumbles hesitantly.
He turns around and your mouth drops. A savage cut drapes like a crimson sash down his back, splitting the white of his uniform. It’s not deep enough to be fatal, but it’s not good, either.
“Wha— Xavier!” you exclaim, trying to surge forwards, but your pain keeps you rooted. “You said you were ok!”
“So did you,” he frowns, bewildered. “Can we get out of—”
“Yeah, yeah.” You let him take your arm and help you to your feet.
He leads you through the clearing and into the forest, supporting your weight as you hop along beside him. There’s a murmur about how he should carry you, but you’re quick to reassure him he’s doing enough. You’re both hurting; you both just need to survive the short walk out of the no-hunt zone, where a med team can take over.
“You don’t slow me down, you know,” Xavier says quietly, after a minute of silence. “You’re the reason I can keep going.”
You squeeze his arm affectionately, mustering a smile even though you’re nauseous with pain and the idea that he’s been dwelling on your speech this whole time. “Well,” you chuckle through gritted teeth, “you’re gonna have to learn how to get by without me.”
“Huh?” He gives you a curious look.
You glance down at your leg. “Zayne’s gonna kill me...”
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4e597fb23a76490734cb05175d486a87/8970572f5d4a0769-e4/s540x810/6d5ca3860f7318045903265ac5b68f6ccba81556.jpg)
Zayne ❄
“I’m a doctor.”
You stop what you’re doing to fix Zayne with a questioning stare. “Ok…?”
“I’ve published dozens of research papers. Pioneered new surgical techniques. My work on Evol-based regenerative properties still has lasting implications for my field, and I’ve the accolades to show for it. The Starcatcher Award. The Linde Award, too— I was the youngest ever recipient.”
None of this is news to you, and you can’t help chuckling at this change in your usually-humble physician. You humour him: “The youngest ever recipient, huh?” There’s a crack as you split an egg on the side of the bowl in front of you. “That’s very impressive.”
“Is it?”
Zayne stands from his seat at your kitchen table: you hear the chair draw back. You feel his presence arrive behind you as you continue to stir your soon-to-be cookie dough. “Yeah,” you lilt with a smile.
“Really?” he pushes again, and his arms wrap around you as he bends to speak into your ear. “Because someone seems to think I can’t even recognise a—” he nips at it— “sprained ankle.”
His breath is warm on your neck and you let out a giggle. “Keep speaking to me like that and these cookies are never making it into the oven. Or your stomach.”
The man relents. He releases you, not returning to his seat but opting to lean against the kitchen counter instead. You glance up at him; he stares back, waiting for an actual answer.
“My ankle is fine, Zayne.”
There’s a sigh as he crosses his arms.
“It is,” you insist, even though you did sprain your ankle at work today, it does hurt like hell, and you do just want to sit down. You reach for the flour you’d measured out previously, tipping it into the larger bowl. “If it wasn’t, would I really be here— making you cookies?”
“Yes,” he says plainly.
“You’re delusional.”
“Ok.”
Well, that was a little too easy. Don’t overthink it, and definitely don’t read into the fact that he’s standing there oh-so-smugly, like he knows something you don’t. You finish stirring the flour into the mixture, then add the last of the ingredients. Just a pinch of salt, and then…
Where did you put the chocolate chips? You glance about yourself but they’re nowhere in sight. “Hey, Zayne? Have you seen the—”
“This cupboard,” he indicates with an upwards nod of his head. His eyes are relentless. “Top shelf.”
Ah. That’s ok. You’ve totally got this. You move beneath the cupboard, opening it and gazing up into the contents. You can see the pack of chocolate chips. You can get up there somehow, right?
“Would you like me to—” Zayne starts, but you cut him off:
“Nope.” You put your hands on your hips. “Please— if I can climb the back of an alive, awake, and very angry deluge wyrmlord to put a sword through its skull, I think I can make it onto the kitchen counter in one piece. Lemme just…”
Your knee lifts. You make it about a centimetre from the floor before Zayne’s hands are on your waist, grounding you. “Stop,” he instructs, and it's not a tone that allows for any rebuttal. Satisfied by your silence, he brings the chocolate chips down to you.
“Thanks,” you say quietly as they’re placed on the counter.
“You’re welcome."
Sheepishly, you spill a generous amount of chocolate chips into the cookie mixture. Your throat hurts in the way that keeps you from saying anything more. You already feel like an idiot, and your eyes are watering, threatening to make you look like even more of one.
Zayne’s hand appears in front of you, hovering over the bowl. You laugh in understanding: giving the half-empty bag another shake so chocolate chips fall into his palm.
“You… don’t have to explain yourself,” he says as he lifts them to his mouth. His next words are muffled: “But you can tell me anything, my love. I never want you to feel as though you can’t.”
You chuckle again; you can’t help yourself. Look at him: your oh-so-serious doctor shovelling chocolate into his mouth. He raises an eyebrow at you, his lips still on his palm.
“I know I can tell you anything,” you smile, the ache in your throat receding, however much the rest of you hurts. “I did sprain my ankle. It’s not that I wanted to hide it from you, it’s just—” you stop stirring the mixture— “it’s just that your whole life is taking care of people at the hospital. You should get a break from it. You should get to be Zayne, here… at home. Just Zayne, not Doctor Zayne.”
Zayne’s hazel eyes have taken on a hue of regret. He pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, buying himself a few seconds as he contemplates. “Are you a doctor?” he asks after a moment.
“No?”
“And yet, here you are, taking care of me.” He reaches for the abandoned packet of chocolate chips. “Tell me, does it feel like work to you?”
“Yeah,” you tease, drawing the packet away from his stretching fingers in explanation; you’re both grinning.
“Well, it never feels like work to me. Just Zayne likes taking care of you. And right now? He wants to bundle you up on the sofa and finish these cookies for you.”
You purse your lips: that’s some dubious wording. “Zayne, hell will freeze over before I leave you and this cookie dough unsupervised.”
He shushes you, pulling on the cord of your apron until the bow at your back comes loose. Before you can protest, he’s wearing the apron himself.
“Zayne, I’m not kidding. I know what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna get rid of me, and then you’ll—”
“Shh,” he coos again, whisking you carefully off your feet, because it’s time for a taste of your own medicine. “You’re delusional.”
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/71b89243d32b87bd859afe56e5f7bdca/8970572f5d4a0769-76/s540x810/96729238e441f55abfe71363ce2e04c34da78aac.jpg)
Rafayel 🔥
“Mmhmm. Mmhmm.”
“Raf, who are you—”
He holds out a finger to shush you. “Mmhmm.”
You cross your arms impatiently. Who is he even talking to, anyway? His lilac eyes are locked on you as he continues humming away, apparently very invested in whatever the person on the phone is saying; you’ve never seen him go this long without talking.
He narrows his eyes at you. You narrow your eyes right back.
All around you, guests of the exhibition are milling about, all dressed to the nines and minding their business, however much they want the attention of the man in front of you. A few of them linger as they pass him, like they want to say something, like they’re going to say something…
But they don’t.
It’s a wonder that Rafayel stands out in the crowd as much as he does. You’d seamlessly located him, back from your third trip to the bathroom to check on the bandages you’ve managed to conceal beneath this dress. He’s still holding your purse for you, his phone in his other hand, except—
That’s your phone. That’s your phone! “Rafayel!”
He shushes you again. “I understand,” he says solemnly, notably not to you, “thanks for letting me know.” The call is ended. He takes a deep, collected breath, then looks at you. “I knew it!”
“Knew what? Who was that?”
“Zayne.”
“You called Zayne?”
“Like I had a choice!” Rafayel retaliates. It is true; he’s spent the entire evening trying to get you to admit something was wrong, and you had no intention of giving him that pleasure. “You’re supposed to be in the hospital! What kind of idiot breaks out of the hospital?”
The lack of irony in the question almost breaks you. “Umm… you?! Like every other week?!”
He shrugs. “That’s different.”
“Rafayel, I swear, I’m gonna— ah!” you gasp in pain. You’d stepped forwards too quickly— maybe to strangle him, but that’s neither here nor there— and the wound on your side is clearly on his side. It stings like hell: punishing you, and you know the pain is self-inflicted.
Rafayel frowns in concern, maybe even guilt, and that’s why you didn’t tell him. “C’mon, we should go,” he insists gravely.
“It’s fine, Raf. It doesn’t even—”
“Stop lying! You said you wouldn’t hide stuff like this from me. You promised, remember?”
You’re losing track of all the promises you’ve made to the Lemurian, but you do remember that one. Guilt has its teeth in you, too. “I know,” you grumble, “I’m sorry, ok? I just knew—”
“What?”
“That you’d act like this! You’ve been working on this exhibition for months, Raf. Tonight is supposed to be about you. Not me— you. And I want it to stay that way. Everyone’s here to celebrate you and your work, and that’s how it should be. That’s what I want. To support you. To be here for you.”
Your voice has gone timid. You finish meekly: “Can’t you let me do this for you? Please?”
Rafayel’s eyes are wide and still the prettiest things you’ve ever seen, even in a room full of masterpieces and jewels you could never afford. They shine with uncertainty, but soften as he smiles, full of fondness and affection. “That’s sweet. But also? Really dumb.”
“Raf—”
“The only— and I mean only— reason I’m here tonight is because you are. I don’t care about what anyone thinks about me or my paintings. Just you. And you can see this?” He gestures around the gallery. “Anytime. My life’s your private exhibition, cutie. Exclusive access, 24/7, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
He steps closer to you: close enough that he can see the tear that’s made it halfway down your cheek. He wipes it away with a chuckle. “Plus,” he adds, “I know you know I’m amazing. You don’t need these old sourpusses to tell you that, do you?”
You laugh tentatively. “No, I don’t.”
Your injury protests as you use the lapels on Rafayel’s blazer to pull him closer; you have to stand on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He’s still grinning as he draws away, a light blush on his cheeks, but the sweetness of the moment vanishes as his gaze drifts lower.
“My eyes are up here, Rafayel.”
“Yeah…” he concedes mindlessly, but then he points: “you know you’re like, bleeding, right?”
You glance downwards to where the red of your dress is turning darker. There’s just a small splotch, but it’s growing. Shit. You must have reopened the wound.
“Thomas?” you hear Rafayel call, and then he’s stuffing a silk handkerchief into your hands— helping you apply pressure. “We have to get out of here,” he explains as a figure joins you.
His agent folds his arms; this is not dissimilar to stunts you and Rafayel have pulled before. “Fake blood, guys? Really?” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “You can’t leave, Rafayel. I can just see the headlines tomorrow…”
“Dashing artist selflessly flees exhibition to save devoted bodyguard,” Rafayel concurs with a nod.
Thomas groans. “That’s not what they’re going to—”
“Help me out with this, cutie?”
“Yes, sir,” you mock salute.
A moment later, Rafayel has scooped you up into his arms. Your hero; he gives you a conspiratorial wink before glancing about frantically. “Quickly!” he cries out. “Everyone out of the way, please!”
“For the love of—” Thomas starts.
“Oh, gods!” you shout in agony. “It hurts. It hurts!”
Heads turn. Cameras flash.
Tomorrow morning, half of Linkon will be talking about one of their favourite celebrities and his long-envied bodyguard. A news article will pop-up on her doctor’s phone, and he’ll see the pictures and sigh.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/304bd4e4968a0c023b915848812ab1c2/8970572f5d4a0769-e4/s540x810/9086c905f65b5fa09560002c494a34f123978503.jpg)
Sylus 🩸
“It’s not too late to back down, sweetie,” Sylus sneers.
“Aw, but you got all dressed up for the occasion.”
Your eyes rake over the outline of the man’s abs, courtesy of the tank top he’s wearing, and it does take the sting out of the fact that he’ll be trying to hit you. He holds his wrapped hands before him, ready to defend, ready to attack. He’ll probably attack, right?
“Last chance,” he growls.
“Is it, though?” This is the third ‘last chance’ you’ve been given in the five minutes you’ve been teetering on combat. You beckon him with a curl of your fingers. “Come on, Sylus. This is getting old.”
He scoffs: “How do you think I feel?”
“Like you’re about to get your ass kicked?”
“Alright, enough.” His hands drop and it feels like you’re back at the academy, about to be scolded for not taking something seriously. Sylus turns his back on you. Moves to the edge of the boxing ring so he can retrieve a stool from outside of it and sit down in a huff. He starts peeling the wraps from his knuckles, and— wait, is he mad? Like, actually mad?
“What’s wrong, Sy?”
He laughs as though you’re missing something dreadfully obvious. Maybe irony.
“Sylus?”
“You really are heartless, sweetie. You know that?”
The words steal your breath away, if only for a moment. Yours is a relationship of pulled punches, but he won’t meet your gaze and that one was real, wasn’t it? He wanted it to sting. “Why—”
“I could have hurt you,” he snaps, his dishevelled, snowy hair falling to cover his eyes. His discarded wraps slide from his hands, pooling by his feet like blood. “You were going to let me hurt you.”
He looks at you, finally, but it’s not in the way you want. His gaze is cast low, trailing over your body and making you feel every bruise, every closed cut that wants to reopen and every ache, rooted almost to bone. You’d done your best to hide it, even going so far as to press make-up hastily over your purpled skin.
That Wanderer really did a number on you yesterday.
“You should have told me,” Sylus says, since you’ve made it onto the same page. “Honestly, kitten. Why would you—”
“Because Luke and Kieran told me, ok?”
Oh, they’re going to kill you. It was supposed to be a secret, and here you are, spilling like a fresh wound because you can’t stand the thought of Sylus being upset with you. You step closer, scrambling to dissect what you’ve done right in front of his eyes— holding it out to him: this is why. This is why. “They said you had a rough week. Some deals of yours had fallen through or something. And I’ve been too busy. I haven’t called, I haven’t even texted, and…”
You need him to understand, but the truth is a mess in your hands and how do you even start to explain it to him?
“You wanted to do something for me,” he finishes for you, and you don’t have to explain a thing.
“Yeah…” you confirm, bittersweet and still sad. “You do so much for me, Sylus. I just wanted to do what you wanted, for a change.”
Maybe it’s a round of boxing. Maybe it’s a dozen illicit dealings where he needs you to play enforcer— it doesn’t matter. As long as he’s happy.
“Come here,” he orders gently.
You close the rest of the rift between you, letting him reach for you and pull you closer. His knees have spread so you can slot against him, and his arms circle around you— trapping you— as he nuzzles into the warmth of your stomach.
“I’m sorry I called you heartless,” he speaks into you, his voice muffled as he gives you a chaste kiss. He then cranes his head upwards, resting his chin against you so he can profess more clearly: “I do worry about you, kitten.”
“I know—” your hands move to his head— “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have lied to you.”
“Mmm,” he hums in accordance, maybe even forgiveness, and his eyes close as your fingers card through the soft of his hair. “I lied too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he confesses on a contented sigh. “I didn’t want to spend today… boxing.”
“What do you want to do today, Sy?”
His eyes flicker open and his hands find your hips. “What I really want…” he contemplates, as his thumbs slip under the hem of your shirt to rub circles on your skin, “is to take care of you.”
There are lifetimes of need in his gaze.
“Won’t you let me take care of you, sweetie?”
…
“If he finds the terms so disagreeable, then he’s more than welcome to take his business elsewhere. Although—” Sylus’s voice is cold— “he might find his other options less… amenable than when he saw them last. Less communicative, too. You can tell him I said so.”
He ends the phone call. Smiles. “Sorry about that, sweetie.”
“Are the boys ok?”
The smile widens, even though you can’t see it. “They’re fine.”
Phone set aside, Sylus carries on with the important business Kieran’s call had distracted him from. You’re half asleep, your head in his lap as he brushes your hair: rose-scented and soft from the bath he’d drawn for you, hours ago. Every bandage is fresh and clean. Every ache has been dulled with a lazy massage and more chaste kisses, for good measure.
“Perfect day,” you mumble blissfully.
“Perfect day,” Sylus agrees.
#🖋rach is actually writing#xavier x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#love and deepspace#lads x reader#lads x mc#shen xinghui#li shen#qi yu#qin che#lads#lnds#l&ds
2K notes
·
View notes