#sometimes there isnt even a solution sometimes its 'well the game just doesnt like your cpu. sucks to suck'

[devotedlystrangewizard]

pc gaming seems like such a difficult thing to get into like i have never really experienced getting into it consciously (i was raised on it) but it feels so inaccessible? pc parts are expensive and you have to make your own build if you want something good and some parts dont work well with others and some games dont work well with some parts (i know ive had trouble with mass effect glitching because of my modern nvidia gpu which required a mod to fix) and even if you get prebuilt or a laptop youre not safe from the troubleshooting. the "can my pc run [game]". the bad pc ports.

and you know the worst part. most pc people are so removed from reality that they dont even realize you probably have no idea what amd and nvidia and intel even are. you dont know the difference between an ssd or a hdd. "how much ram do you want" when you dont know what that means. they start talking about the difference between a 4070 and a 3090 and all you can see is the fucking price tags.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Ticci Toby trying to understand a s/o with Chronic Pain

Ticci Toby w/ a reader with chronic pain! (platonic)

no hate to you but im still not quite comfortable with writing romantic for toby!/nm wooo first creepypasta request of this batch lets go we're returning to this blogs roots yipee! this post may be a little blugh since i only just started allowing myself to write for toby and im still trying to get a hold on how i want to write his personality

one of the first ideas that came to my head when i first read this when it was sent in a few hours ago is that theres some level of disconnect... for lack of a better word. i mean toby himself doesnt feel pain, and he has mixed feelngs about it. on one hand he knows it makes him different and that often makes him feel like an outsider. on the other hand, he uses it as an advantage to power through things. the topic is complicated with him, and when it comes to you he doesnt fully understand why you're so careful with yourself; its not as if youre made out of glass

lack of being able to relate, you know?

not to say that he completely invalidates your pains. no, i think the opposite would be true. he cares about you a lot and hes going to hold onto you, and not let go. he is clingy and he is going to be obnoxious about it

i think he makes little notes to remember what helps with you (the admin totally isnt self projecting and giving toby horrible memory, definitely not), as well as leaves little notes for you to find throughout the day. cute ones, encouraging ones.. a little clunky and awkward but hey its the thought that counts!

^usually does the little notes for you on days where hes not going to be available for whatever reason, be it he needs to be put to work or what. honestly i dont think its uncommon for him to go MIA for a few days at a time given the nature of his work as a proxy

totally doesnt shoplift things that you like/will ease your pain. meds, snacks, stuff like that. that he paid for, obviously! nooo its not weird that hes asking to hide out at your house for a few hours he didnt do nothing!

offers to do your chores and stuff (with varying success) so you can lay down and rest. tends to only really offer them on your worse days, again in part to him not fully being able to grasp the level of pain youre in every day. hes trying his best!

gets you movies and games.. sometimes books, heating pads/blankets, things like that as well

less of a comfort guy and more of a distraction guy, definitely not a solutions guy; asides from getting (stealing) things for you, thats about where a lot of his comfort/solutions end, hes more so better prepared to keep your mind off of the pain with conversation and jokes and the aforementioned movies/books/games

definitely helps him to understand if you explain whats going on with you, be it simply saying whats hurting and why or even explaining your diagnosis, gives him something more solid to digest and work off of instead of just basic labels

[mummer]

one day we might all grasp that none of the roys are good ceos because it turns out logan roys strategy of swing your dick around and dump money on the problem is a bad solution when youre in a dying industry, no one likes you, and you're running out of money. Much less when youre his children trying to pull that stunt on people who aren't as afraid of you as your father

People take it so personally when you suggest their favorite isnt good at this like babes....its a good thing to be bad at being a billionaire CEO those things shouldnt exist

yeah like obviously genuinely trying to buy into the question of which one would make the "best ceo" is a total losing game just like sincerely trying to discourse about "who should win the iron throne" like thematically that is so beyond the point and has nothing to do with their moral virtue and perhaps it's even the inverse blah blah blah. but i do think as a viewer you cant really help but engage with it anyway if you turn off your feelings and themes brain and turn on your annoying strategy logic brain for fun and profit. like kendall has actual knowledge of how business shit actually works for real and ran a wing of the company for a decade. he just has no likeability and insanely bad luck and no integrity or coherent vision and also is mildly unstable. roman is very stupid and evil but has good luck and is willing to make wild moves and connects a bit better with people because of his low charm (sometimes backfires). poor shiv has bad luck and isnt very likeable and also doesnt know business (through little fault of her own of course). well at least she has principles. *puts hand to ear* okay i'm getting word that she also does not have principles

[we8comic]

i was the anon who sent the eyeroll dream thing and genuinely actually do you have any feelings about like dream and by extension sapnap trying to assert themselves into pop off trio streams

because i’m not gonna lie as much as i love dream and sapnap and yeah the going dark thing was funny, they do have this problem where they show up and get confrontational about not being invited and when they do that shit and put everyone on the spot about “being left out” it’s very weird to me you should just accept they want to have a stream alone right..? i was wondering what you thought about that and whether you think they genuinely feel threatened about being left out

like let george hang out with his other friends maybe i doubt they’d do this if it was quackity and karl with anyone else or even just them alone

also i’m too much of a coward to discuss this on my own main idk if you know who this is but i have a feeling it’s smth you agree with and it’s veryyy nice to see someone calling sapnap and dream out for their occasional annoying and stream ruining behaviour

sorry this is so long!! you also totally don’t have to answer btw lmao i just notice the same frustration sometimes through your liveblogging whenever sapnap and dream crash a stream

anonymous: wait wait to add onto my last ask it was the biggest power move for karl to announce that the sex havers only consists of george karl and quackity and i really felt like that was a hint drop from him, i think jokingly adding that anyone else is “a friend of sex havers” was to lessen the impact but i still enjoy the fact that he asserted (and has been asserting) that their group when they’re together is an exclusive trio

i felt it that time he was like yeah well. we were the original sex havers groupchat and i feel like sapnap and dream kinda wriggled themselves into being included like i hope none of this sounds mean i just really want dream and sapnap to understand it’s okay to not be included in everything

oh MAN do i have feelings 😩 dream and sapnap are almost comically emasculated by any little thing that makes them feel inferior and that includes being excluded from things. and i personally feel they have no right to get angry about being left out and to then show up onto their streams to express that theyre upset in front of an audience of thousands. i say this because the other three ALWAYS mention that they dm'd them and invited them to the activity or otherwise said they had reason to believe dream or sapnap wouldnt be available (and even outside of that, theyre not required to tell the other about every single one of their plans lol)

i think getting confrontational about it on stream in the middle of planned activities is childish. take a look at bad for example, who also isnt a part of the trio but doesnt get confrontational about having been left out. the trio is full of lighthearted people, bad came into the call and they asked him if he wanted to join in the game they were playing and he did and that was it. compare that to dream or sapnap and when they join calls. theyre consistently immediately accusatory. the trio will take it in stride (cus again. an audience of over 100k is watching. its really not the time and place to whine and get mad about feeling left out, those are convos to have in private), theyll throw some facts like "we invited you" "you said you were busy" "we already had this planned for a while" etc., then theyll offer an invitation to join. this invitation is usually met w quite frankly STUPID debate about "well why wasnt i included in the first place" like dude. read the room, youre streamers for a living, talk about these things off stream like an adult. plus they literally already said you could join if you still wanted to, whats the problem, why drag it out for longer than it needs to be. it just stalls the stream and their plans and shifts the lighthearted tone into somethin a little more careful (however briefly it might be, it didnt need to happen)

i LOVE karl for saying that theyre their own group and joking that their attitude is why theyre friends of sex havers. it felt like a lighthearted way to lift the mood again and kinda say "hey, we do our own things sometimes, chill"

i cant speak for whether i think they genuinely feel threatened about being left out cus not only do i not know them personally, theyre also not ccs i focus energy on (thats for quackity and george 😌) i DO think that with all the times theyve brought it up when crashing the trio streams, they should really by this point have talked about it off screen. it feels almost like they use the audience as a safety net to avoid the consequence of intruding/being mean cus whoever theyre talking to has to keep a certain face and therefore cant say certain things (might even hazard a guess that off screen they probably still dont REALLY talk about it)

i dont blame them for wanting to be a part of things their friends are doing but i blame them for the way they express that. it makes the atmosphere tense by making it far too personal for something thats visible to a live public audience.

i know theyre around the same age, but the way dream an sapnap handle conflict on screen IS immature vs the way quackity and karl do. quackity and karl have been entertainers for A WHILE and understand how to stay entertaining and theyre far more aware of their audience and the overall mood and how to handle problems and conflict without things getting too tense. dream and sapnap (sapnap moreso) have a habit of being confrontational and not lightening the mood and instead continuing to be mad, making everyone else in the call responsible for the energy of the stream instead of them themselves dealing with the tenseness theyve caused. it makes things awkward and im always hoping itll end fast and that theyd please for the love of god talk about it off stream

thats worded a little dramatically cus its rarely ever THAT bad, but it would be SO much better if it just didnt happen yknow. if they understood that they dont have to be a part of everything their other friends do AND if they understood that getting mad on stream and stalling their plans and souring the vibe isnt the best way to handle it.

tl;dr: theyre their own group who do their own things and arent required to share their plans w the rest of their friends (and usually they dm in advance anyway asking if they wanna be a part of their plans). dream and sapnap feeling excluded isnt something they should get overly heated about on stream (its an immature way to bring up the issue especially without ever offering a solution). these are problems they should talk about off stream where the trio dont have to be so conscious about their audience and its perception. i love karl and quackity for emphasizing that theyre their own group with their own plans and joking that the way they act is WHY theyre not part of the group. i think they deal w it as well as they can and i think dream and sapnap need to learn just a little more spacial awareness and how to handle conflict

edit: quackity/karl/george should be fully able to have their own stream together without anyone else intruding. dream and sapnap arent their bosses, they dont need to run all their plans by them first. if they want to have streams with just their own established group, they should be able to have that.

[tumblunni]

Rambling about my new watchholder oc Mallory

* absolute gremlin child. Eats dirt. Probably more of a monster than most of the yokai.

* at the same time tho, she is like super sunshine friend! She looks kinda gloomy ominous but her personality is actually super bubbly and her biggest priority in life is making new yokai friends and loving them forever. Like, creepy in a wholesome way? She does indeed love horror movies and creepy crawlies and could probably fistfight god, but that doesnt mean she's evil!

* kinda always bored but also easily exciteable? One of her biggest recurring jokes is just ignoring the normal or sane solution to a thing and doing something more fun even if its more difficult or dangerous. Actually i guess its more "fearless" than bored? Or bored of fear, lol. Fearless and doesnt really give a shit about any rules. But again not in a mean way, she doesnt break rules because she wants to piss people off, just like "im not gonna believe this if nobody bothers explaining why its supposed to be so important". But not exactly phrased like that cos that would be rude, lol. So uhh more like just relateable autism feel of not grasping social cues but mixed with a personality thats quite outgoing and uncaring of being judged poorly for not being normal, as opposed to me who's always worried about what people think.

* oh wait thats the word for it!! Free-spirited! Trickster! Like a peter pan type of trickster tho, more than loki. Like just "i am naturally outside the obligations of normalcy" rather than "i am intentionally trying to prank/illusion/manipulate people cos its funny". Or uhh i guess "manic pixie dream girl" but without all the stupid shit that trope has got associated with.

* pretty much just wish fullfillment of "what if i was confident enough to not care what people think and just act like myself no matter what"

* anyway in summary she likes to climb trees n stuff and her reaction to yokai being real is "yay" and her reaction to seeing an undefeatable giant kaiju is to run at it and try and suplex it with her bare hands. She's kind of a badass! Tho lol also her biggest character flaw is her badassness, cos she can be reckless due to the lack of fear. But then also sometimes when everyone is hopeless she really does manage to save the day no matter what, and help inspire everyone else to be brave too!

* though i'm thinking of maybe a character arc where she starts off seeing this as just a fun adventure with no stakes, and it doesnt matter if you take risks cos nobody's gonna get hurt anyway. Like a "this isnt really real, its just my hero's story" sort of thing? When things start getting more dark and she faces things she cant just defeat with simple optimism, it kinda stops being fun anymore. And she has to realize that even if she doesnt care about her own self preservation there's consequences that could happen to her friends and family. And maybe she's already made mistakes that she can't take back, and now she's neck deep in a conflict thats a lot bigger and more insurmountable than she thought. You can't just fistfight something like the abstract concept of hatred for humanity which will continue to be perpetuated as long as the idea keeps taking root. And maybe even yokai you befriended could start to believe it too, after all you've kinda been treating them as just fun toys and sidekicks on a story that's all about you, and dragging them into danger with your recklessness. Even though you're fighting the villains, are you really doing it because you actually care about saving the day? Do you even know what you're saving it from...?

* and similar to her unflappable victoryness being shaken, i think her fearlessness and confidence could also be deeper than they look on the surface. I feel like maybe as the story goes on it could be revealed that its less being fearless and more just not caring about her own safety. You start to see her get more actual consequences from her fights, and it starts to become sort of concerning that she keeps brushing it off as no big deal. Laughing it off. Wondering why her friends are even sad that she got hurt. And maybe she isnt really happy all the time and 100% secure in who she is, she just tries to hide any signs of doubt because she feels like nobody would care. And that she has to always be the funny class clown or else nobody would want to be her friend. And like.. She doesnt even really believe that she's great, believe that she's fine as she is. She's more aware of her weirdness than she lets on. She's constantly, paralyzingly aware that everyone thinks she's a freak. She did use to try and change herself to fit in, but she kept failing at it and it never helped her get any friends. Or when she did think she made a friend they'd turn on her whenever she slipped up and showed a crack in her mask of the perfect normal person. The perfect normal person they wanted her to be.. Constantly changing into WHATEVER anyone wanted her to be. The only reason she doesnt do that anymore is that she lost all hope in it working, not that she actually gained confidence in her true self. And even when she's npt conciously doing it she's still subconciously trying to be what people want her to be. She has to always be funny, always be fearless, she has to cling to the few parts of her weirdness that people dont seem to hate. And now she has to be the hero. She has to carry all the dreams of everyone she's met along the way, while never letting them know when she's scared she wont be able to help make them come true. She's always just laughing it off and never being fully open with any of her friends, because she's scared they'll hate her. ..

* so uhh.. Yeah. Personal experience of that. Personal experience of trying to fit into negative stereotypes of autism because thats what everyone saw me as no matter how hard i tried, and also it was the only form of autism theyd treat positively, somehow. Like just be the "funny one" and dont challenge any of their assumptions ans they'll leave you in relative peace. Put up with some degree of degredation to avoid the even worse version. And i was doing all of this at a very youbg age before i even knew i was autistic or what autism was, but i could still feel how people treated me differently and how i had to friggin agree with it or else they'd never let it go. Gahhh.. It was all way too complicated and dark for a kid to understand!

* so yeah anyway her story arc is going from being a badass funny to being a funny badass? Like she just becomes more genuinely tough and cool when she's not always winning and the stakes dont seem so low and comical AND most importantly you know her real feelings and see that she will indeed continue fighting even when she's scared. And she doesnt try so hard to be cool all the time so it just lets her be more genuine. And form actual relationships with everyone with genuine feelings. So its less "she is badass because its funny" and more "she is a badass because she's a badass". But she's still funny, just in more varied ways than simply "the only reason she won this fight so fast is because jokes". Fighting legit threatening enemies in fights that arent over in five seconds. So they can contain... SEVERAL joke..!!! And also some actual fighting for once!!

* hhh i dunno i am very tired im probably not explaining this well

* oh and i think possibly she has a bit of a complex of feeling she's nothing without her yokai watch? Like the yokai are her first friends who never abandoned her. And she always felt like she was useless and it was her own fault that she didnt have any friends. She first started off being all irreverent and goofy when she got the yokai watch cos she was well into her "i dont care anymore" phase of depression and felt certain these new friends would all realise she was awful eventually and leave, so like.. Why get attatched? Just have fun while it lasts. So maybe actually she shows early signs of her depression by trying harder to be normal whenever anyone shows her friendship. Maybe something where she starts straigjtening her hair or dressing more feminine and then you just see this look on her face like her heart has shattered when someone agrees that she does look better now. (Maybe a new yokai she recently caught who was like super cool and she wanted to impress them?) And she gets compulsively obsessed with it, exaggerating it to a ridiculous degree and starting to change other parts of her appearance and everyone goes from giggling about this weird circumstance to getting REALLY DAMN CONCERNED! And in the end something something the yokai who was an asshole abput her needing to be more feminine slips up and shows his true assy colours to the other yokai and theyre like IT WAS YOU and he's like "what? You should be thanking me for fixing your shitty trainer!" And Then Everyone Beats Him Up Forever. Etc etc moral that real friends accept you for who you are and anyone who tells you you have to change to impress them is not worth impressing. Also maybe some aspect where the yokai dude thinks that mallory is trying to impress him cos she has a crush on him, and thats the moment that manages to snap her out of her depressive funk. Self hate overrided by sheer EWW NO IM A LESBIAN, DUDE i just liked ur cool hat, geez. (Wait was that entire plot idea just an excuse to find a way to foreshadow her getting a crush on hailey in yw3...?)

* and maybe i dunno some sort of dramatic episode where she loses the ability to use the yokai watch and is faced with her self worth issues all at once and its super fuckin sad and we all know eventually she will get to see all her yokai friends again cos the plots not gonna end before finishing all the games but still MEGA SUPER SAD MOMENT ANYWAY (also tearful reunions!)

* also i just heard theres a yokai called furgus thats a big adorable hairball that gives people big hair. So maybe that could be one of the comically easy victory episodes? He uses his power on mallory but her hair is already too fluffy to be floofed! Maybe it backfires and turns his own hair into a boring bowl cut, lol? And then maybe a sequel where he returns for revenge a million episodes later but it just so happens to be during the maddiman boss fight and he accidentally cures his balding. "Noooo dont thank me nooooo" *is forced against his will to become a popular advertosing mascot for hair cream* *like straight up just gets sucked into the nearest bottle and sealed like a genie* *cursed forever to fame and fortune and a million dollar salary*

* lol i dont think im as funny as the actual yokai watch writers but i have a few ideas at least. This will be fun to draw!

[actualbird]

yo you totally made me think about low empathy michael and it like totally makes sense and i think about it a lot when i listen to two player game bc ye like he OBVIOUSLY cares a lot about jeremy and he loves him and like jeremy's stating his problem and michael keeps saying the same solution cause like "that's the answer bro, don't be down" bc he cant wrap his head around the emotions and connect w them that well so in his mind he's just saying this completely fool proof solution i love this hc

yo i got this ask while balls deep in three books of discourse analysis i could only understand by like 10% but because of that was in the mood to just. keep thinking my brain in circles.

so heres a stupidly long answer cataloging canon instances of michael being low empathy af/exhibiting other traits related to this. along with like, characterization to extrapolate from that (at least by my own personal interpretation. obligatory disclaimer that how i see characters is not law, this is just My Take). 

but before that, im gonna define some terms outright so we’re all on the same page. empathy is a person’s capability to understand and feel what others are feeling. basically how well you can put yourself in somebody else’s shoes. this shouldnt be confused with sympathy, which is feeling compassion, pity, sorrow etc. for another. empathy is recognition/replication while sympathy is more on the caring about it. here i focus on empathy and the lack of it. 

im not an expert on Anything but speaking from experience as somebody who has very low empathy, this causes some complications. when you dont feel what others are feeling, sometimes you dont notice other people’s feelings at all. this results in stuff like bluntness, trouble reading social cues, insensitivity, etc. all things that 1) may happen unintentionally, 2) can be worked through via healthy communication, 3) are not inherently bad, just a result of how one reacts to external emotions and 4) things i totally think michael exhibits because hes a low empathy goblin i love with my whole heart. 

let’s get right into it. in more than survive, right after jeremy and michael discover their boyf riend backpacks, this exchange occurs

this seems pretty normal at first glance but it is the first instance of what seems to be michael’s go-to pattern for when he notices his best friend is feeling down, which, at least, kudos to michael, he very obviously noticed jeremy’s feelings. hurrah! so his process for how to fix this goes a little like “step 1: notice jeremy is upset. step 2: cheer jeremy up! step 3: unknowingly kinda mess up step 2“

jeremy is upset about the backpacks but then jeremy provides an out with something supposedly positive. michael latches on to it. it turns out to be negative. michael tries to salvage the situation by cheering jeremy up! by giving him a cool science fact! hell yeah! except it’s a shaky save at best because he does call the both of them losers but in an “it’s okay :D” way. 

all in all this is nothing really, just some friendly fast paced banter between best friends. whats important here is the 3 step pattern aforementioned because it 1) shows that michael Cares about his best friend and tries to make things better and 2) is BASICALLY the entirety of two player game

TWO PLAYER GAME is such a BOP and, at its core, is a song about how michael has got jeremy’s back and vice versa. but tpg is also textbook the 3 step pattern with added sprinkle of unintended invalidation. ive briefly spoken about tpg before so this might look a lil familiar but at its gist:

like you said anon, in tpg jeremy tells michael a problem he has, and throughout the course of the song, he continually makes it known that hes upset and has a lot of issues. step 1 has been achieved: michael knows jeremy is not doing too hot. time to do step 2: cheer him up!! and what better way to do that than to think positive with his trademark line “guys like us are cool in college” like, over and over again. because….it makes sense for michael. things might suck now, but just keep swimming yeah? it’ll be better later.

but it’s not better now and thats what jeremy actually needed validation on. michael thinks the solution is to look to the future but jeremy has his problems bothering him in the present. for all that michael says this is a two player game, he’s unintentionally dismissive because he doesnt understand that this isnt something that can be fixed with a simple “look forward to two years from now” mentality. neither of them are in the wrong, really. theyre just not on the same page.

onwards we go to something else entirely. the chili fries

this is a RIDICULOUSLY SMALL MOMENT but it stuck out to me because imo it is pretty obvious that jeremy says “leave me alone” because hes bummed and is being dramatic, but michael takes it literally and uses the opportunity to skedaddle and get his sweet sweet discontinued soda. im aware michael had to be gone for plot reasons and also the discontinued soda is foreshadowing for the mtn dew red, but taken at face value, this is something that happens a lot w/ low empathy: things are taken literally. 

jeremy is upset. jeremy said to give him some space. thats cool, i’ll go for a bit and come back with something neat that might cheer him up—hey, where’d he go?

and now let’s jump to something everybody and their dog knows about. michael in the bathroom. except not really. because mitb isnt what interests me so much as what happens before.

pre mitb is very, very interesting. before i say anything i’ll be clear in saying that literally nobody had even remotely a nice halloween night, it’s a disaster for everybody involved, but keep in mind that jeremy goes into the pre mitb scene immediately after the clusterfuck that is do you wanna hang and also getting chased down by a sloshed but aggressive jake. many people have said this before me but i’ll say it again: jeremy was not doing well. at all. 

and this is where michael fails step 1 of his pattern. he doesnt pick up on this at all. michael is kinda stuck in his own head right now. hes pissed. hes confused. hes betrayed. he cant understand other people’s feelings and now he has to deal with his own too. his head is a melting pot of AGH and he takes it out on jeremy. yeah, he tries to help jeremy, but he doesnt do it very well. it’s all very accusatory, and jeremy just had a terrible night, so jeremy lashes out.

teenagers are bad at emotions but theyre not bad people for it.  //cue mitb notes, we know the drill

to the play!!! 

recap for maximum contextualization: jeremy realizes the squip is bad fucking news and wants it gone. michael makes an entrance with the one thing that can kill it. and then this happens

AIGHT okay so the whole “i need an apology” scene is obviously played for comedy, and it does a good job at suddenly diffusing the end of the world stakes with some more down to earth teen friend drama but that aside, this scene is a good candidate to be listed under the definition of the phrase “bad timing” because michael, holy shit. BAD TIMING. like great timing for humor but bad timing as a human being. 

here we have jeremy clearly in possessed distress and michael has the antidote but he only wants to give it on a condition. it is absolutely a dick move. yeah, michael is is valid for wanting an apology, but not at this moment with the current stakes. this is michael thinking pretty selfishly. hes stuck in his own head and his own thoughts. he cares about jeremy and wants to help but…this apology important to him. it’s easy to get stuck on things like this when you cant empathize with others. the low empathy means that the only feelings you really get to really interact with are your own, so theres a tendency to focus on them. sometimes even at inopportune moments.

unintentional asshole-ery behold. in fact, this can be pushed even harder by this snippet in the score of be more chill that had some lines from an earlier draft. 

the fetus version of michael makes an entrance is hilariously low empathy, oh my god. this happens while jeremy is rolling around on the floor fighting an invisible-to-everybody-else squip and this is the first thing michael says. it’s positively dickish. 

SO with that done, a little bit can be extrapolated in terms of characterization. i think michael is low empathy so the dominos fall. michael is terrible at feelings. hes got a tendency to get stuck in his own head and not see what others are going through. his emotional periphery is abysmal, hes like a horse with those things that stop horses from looking to the side. in spite of all this, he still has a lot of love and good in his heart and he tries his best to show that in the ways that make sense to him. post-canon, the rift between his brain and jeremy’s brain can only be bridged by a big healthy heap of communication where michael learns that what makes sense to him isnt always what makes sense to other people. hes a good kid. he can do it. 

of course this is, again, all my take. the fun thing about transformative work and fandom is that all interpretations are valid and there will always be somebody out there who agrees. or disagrees. but on this blog, this is my michael. or at least one aspect of my michael. //shrug

ANYWAY im glad you like the hc anon!! ive obviously got a lot of feelings about it since i used your ask as an excuse to aimlessly ramble for, holy shit, 1.6 k words lmao. i hope you have a good day!!!

[thataspdfeel]

i really hope this isnt too intrusive but i was wondering if you have any tips on keeping up a good relationship/friendship as someone with aspd? ive gone through so many friends and partners over the years and i always end up alone like i am right now and im honestly lonely and my therapist doesnt really understand because he just said its for the best because abusive behaviour is common w aspd which made me scream and i dont know anyone who actually has aspd either :/

long answer so under a cut

ive kept this in the inbox and stared at it over and over again because of that fucking last bit like

fuck your therapist like deck him in the face. aspd etc people arent inherently fucking abusive thats not how that works. we have a really hard time connecting with people due to low empathy and have low tolerance for bullshit at least imo

oh also dont worry i dont find many things too intrusive. frankly, if anybody wanted to know how to keep a sex life nice, id answer that shit. like i have 0 concept of too intrusive lmao

also if youre lonely id honestly start out with a pet or two. that sounds really weird but if you get used to some asshole who cant communicate living with you, you start to tolerate others more. plus less lonely so win-win

THIS IS GOING TO SOUND HELLISHLY BIZARRE BUT TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS: try dating sim games. this isnt to make you less lonely but to help you get better at communicating with others. like this is an actual scientifically studied thing. i cant remember where i found this out cause my memory is bullshit but hubs pointed me to it. its how he managed to keep my attention for so long. he knew how to properly engage with me and keep my interest through practice via dating sims. and when things are stale, he goes back to the dating sim textbook. like brings me flowers or goes back to wooing me AND IT WORKS

thats not to say his feelings arent genuine cause they absolutely are. these dating games just let him interact with me romantically easier for him. especially because hes like the human embodiment of golden retriever puppy with sunshine out its ass and he can EASILY come across as waaaaaay too much and these sims taught him how to tone himself down. whereas for people like us, theyd help us to play ourselves up so to speak. or just generally interact with partners easier

now if actual interaction isnt your problem, that you make friends or get partners easily but have a hard time with the maintenance, now thats a different problem and requires a different solution

first, find people you find interesting. it's so much easier to pretend to give a shit about people when you find them interesting because you actually listen to them when they talk to you. and this sounds like bullshit like ugh why do i have to pretend. well you do. you have to with everybody until you make a connection. the key is to find somebody interesting you dont mind listening to

make sure they dont mind listening to you either or they at least pretend to this is because relationships whether romantic or otherwise all rely on communication and listening to each others problems. ive had a few "friends" who expected all kinds of emotional labor from me but would turn tail or come up with excuses if i needed them. those arent friends tbh. those are leeches and dont keep those people around. also dont be one of those people cause emotional labor should go both ways

communicate. communicate. COMMUNICATE!!! ALWAYS!!! EVEN IF ITS PAINFUL!!! even if opening up is the last goddamn thing you want to do. in order to connect with people and to keep connection alive, you need to open yourself up and be vulnerable. and it can suck! it really can! but you dont have to cut yourself open just for a connection. basically share what youre comfortable with at first

later, once youve established honesty (and honesty is the key here) later, if youve got an issue with them? you can bring it up and be like hey it bothers me that you leave your socks everywhere. or i hate that you seem to only need me when your mom is being shitty. this lets them confront you too about things that make them uncomfortable. and, yknow, change when they mention something (so long as its not ridiculous like you drink too much coke or i hate that you have blue eyes)

AND ON THE HONESTY THING be honest about your dishonesty. what that means is letting the other person know you lie if youre a chronic liar like me. you have to be like ok so i lie a lot and usually its about stupid stuff and heres how you can tell. anybody who gives an actual shit about you will be like oh ok thats irritating but ok. just dont EVER EVER lie about big shit EVER like cheating or something like that (i mean dont cheat in the first place but you get my point) 

ive had like an empty bag of chips in my hand and hubs will be like "did you eat the chips" and i'll be like "no?" and it kinda goes back and forth like "i see the bag in your hand right there!" "no you dont" until about half an hour or so later im like "sorry i lied about the chips" and hes like oh its fine i get it. but he knows that while id lie about that or brushing my hair, etc i wont lie about if i took my meds or not etc etc. like be honest about your dishonesty dont hide it or itll create problems for later

let the other person know when you need space. because we all need space at some time or another. be like hey imma need to flake for like a day or so my life is a clusterfuck and i need some time to myself. or, like with one of my partners, im like do you mind if i just chill in the other room with video games/books/netflix/whatever for roughly x amount of time. i let them know its not them (even if it sometimes is at which point, i do let them know later what the problem was) and that i just need to be by myself. and yknow what? its made us all so fucking close when we've told each other when we need space

be honest about needing connection too. sometimes your life just goes all to hell and you need a cuddle buddy or somebody to go to coffee with. its scary making yourself so vulnerable and admitting that but honestly? the payoff is awesome because you have somebody there for you who will hold you through those times. and if they wont? walk the other way

and if it werent already clear, YOU HAVE TO MAKE A RECIPROCAL EFFORT because its not fun to be on anything one-sided. you dont have to magically develop empathy or wanting to be around people 24/7. you just have to make the same effort you expect with others

anyway those are the basics to making things work imo. IF NONE OF THIS IS HELPFUL or not the case for how to make things work for you, message again with specifics and i’ll do my best on the advice thing. just your ask was kind of broad so i answered it broadly

i hope this helps!!

[themoneybuff-blog]

Questions About Child Rearing Costs, Laundry Services, Unused Media, Aldi, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. $250K to raise a kid? 2. Long term care? 3. $20 bill budgeting 4. Expense of laundry service 5. Backlog of unused media 6. 403(b) risky? 7. Cheap or expensive bag? 8. Thoughts on Aldi 9. Is renters insurance necessary? 10. Appliance repair or replace? 11. Saying no to parent 12. Getting value from self-improvement books Spring usually begins with a mix of rainy days and dry days, warm days and cold days. Sometimes, its a warm, dry day and all I want to do is go outside. Other days are wet and cold and I want to stay in out of the rain. The hardest part are the beautiful days when I need to stay inside and work. I want to go outside on a long, long walk through the countryside and through the woods, looking for mushrooms and enjoying the fresh air. Spring is wonderful. On with the questions. Q1: $250K to raise a kid? My husband and I are in our early thirties and were starting to think about having a couple of children in the next few years. We started to look into the costs and the most common figure we found was $250K to raise a child. That cant even be right as there are families that raise kid that barely bring in that in total in 18 years. What is the actual cost of raising a child in your experience? Marion When you see numbers like $250K, youre seeing the total long term cost over a period of at least twenty years, and that often includes paying for college and other such large expenses. Its also an average and includes families who are paying for things like private school. My experience has been that the cost of raising a child is often connected directly to the financial means of the parent. You can raise a child perfectly well on a low income my parents were never, ever very well off when I was growing up and they raised three children. My father worked in a factory (when he wasnt laid off) and had side gigs (most notably commercial fishing) for a living and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. There wasnt a ton of money there. We are most certainly spending more per child on our children than my parents did on me, but the truth is that a lot of the extra expense is on optional things like a band instrument or sports fees or an extra ticket to an event that were going to as a family. We could not spend those things and our child would be perfectly fine. In other words, those $250K estimates are numbers that summarize what parents are choosing to spend on children, not what they have to spend. Outside of some basic things like food, shelter, clothing, public education, and medical care, most expenses related to raising a child are very optional, and many of those required expenses can be incredibly low out of pocket. Q2: Long term care? Read this article: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/10/health/assisted-living-costs-elderly.html What are ordinary people supposed to do when they need long term care? The wealthy can pay for insurance or higher care, but thats not an option for a poor person or even a middle class person. If me or my wife needed long term care I dont know what wed do. Alex This is one of many issues that have radically changed in society during the 20th century and that we havent really figured out how to handle as a society. At the start of the 20th century, people who needed this kind of care usually didnt have the medical care necessary to continue to live. They perished. Thus, it was fairly uncommon for someone to need this kind of care for an extended period of time, and when it did occur, there were typically large families and even whole communities who stepped up to provide that care. Today, much of that has changed. In many situations, medical advancements enable people to live through things that they would not have survived 100 years ago. This means that more people who are in a long term care situation are surviving when they previously would not have done so. At the same time, nuclear families are smaller and communities are less tight-knit, for various reasons. The truth is that as a society, we have not figured out how to handle this yet. We havent figured out how to handle a lot of the advancements of the 20th century yet as a society. One only needs to look at the cruelty of many internet forums as further evidence of this. The problem, of course, is that there is no ready-made solution. Long term care insurance is definitely one step many people can take to gain peace of mind about future situations, but its expensive for many. The honest truth is that many families, when faced with long term care situations, just have to deal with it moment by moment to the best of their ability. Some families struggle to provide that care at home, particularly when theres a larger pool of family members that can help, while others go into debt. Many families rely on some form of government assistance to make it work. If you can easily afford it, long term care insurance is a great idea. If not well, society doesnt have a robust solution for you. The solutions vary widely from situation to situation. Q3: $20 bill budgeting Was reading an internet forum that reminded me of how I used to budget in college. Back then, I used to have an envelope with $10 bills in it. Each month, Id put $300 in $10s in there and each day I would take one out. Aside from rent, I had to live on that $10 each day. It paid for the bus and for food. Strategy I saw used $20 bills today which would be roughly the same. Mary Lets spell out this system a little bit. Aside from scheduled bills like rent, electricity, and so on, a person would aim to live on $20 a day in cash. Each month, a person would withdraw $600 cash from savings in the form of 30 $20 bills and put them in an envelope somewhere secure. Each day, that person would take a $20 bill out of the envelope and put it in their pocket. They would have to live off of that $20 bill and change from the previous months. This gives you room to splurge if you want to, but to do so would involve eating beans and rice for a while. In other words, lean days would directly help with expensive days. It would also be needed to help you make up front purchases like a bus pass, which would ease daily expenses a little going forward. I mentioned this idea to a friend and she said that she would probably try to have days where she could get by without pulling a $20 out of the envelope and then at the end of the month thered be some $20s left over, which shed use for bigger goals or big expenses or emergencies. That seems like a strong idea to me. I think this system would work very well for anyone who is trying to make ends meet on a very tight budget. Q4: Expense of laundry service There is a service in our town that just started that will take your laundry off of your front step and bring it back within 24 hours washed, dried, and folded. The cost is $2 per pound of clothes (rounded up to nearest pound), paid up front. I am trying to do the math on whether this makes sense or not for us. Amy A typical large load of laundry weighs somewhere between 7 and 10 pounds, but that really varies depending on how much you stuff in your washer with a typical load. I actually weighed a load of laundry that I just pulled out of our dryer on a kitchen scale and it weighed about 9.5 pounds. So, youre paying somewhere between $15 and $20 per load of laundry to be done for you. What is that saving you? The big savings is the time. You arent carrying your clothes to the washer and filling it up. Youre not moving clothes to the dryer. Youre not folding those clothes, either. Thats all done for you. In terms of cost, the cost of a load of laundry at home, including all materials, energy, and equipment depreciation, is around $1. So, in essence, youre paying someone between $14 and $19 to put a load of clothes into the washer, transferring them to the dryer when done, then folding them for you when the drying is done. Thats at most half an hour of effort, and probably less than that. Thus, unless you are very strapped for time and can extract a lot more than $30 of value per hour out of an extra freed-up hour, then this isnt a cost-effective move. It essentially adds up to paying $15 or a little more for an extra 20 minutes or half an hour of free time. Q5: Backlog of unused media What are your thoughts on people who have large unused media collections and keep buying more without using what they have? Why does that happen? Is there a fix? I noticed this myself with my collection of Kindle books recently. My son is home from college and he piped up and said that he actually has a lot of computer games unplayed as we often buy him Steam gift cards. He has a ton of computer games left unplayed yet he will often seek out new ones. I want to be less into getting new stuff and more into using what I have. Mike The reasons actually pretty simple: buying and acquiring and getting and collecting new items for your collection scratches a much different itch than actually enjoying the items in that collection. I have the same issue in some areas of my life (far fewer than I used to, thankfully). The feeling that acquisition and discovery gives you is much different and I think more addictive than the feeling that diving deep gives you. This is particularly true when you dont have as much time as youd like to dive deep, but thats not the sole cause of it. The only solution Ive found that works is to put moratoriums on new acquisitions. Give yourself a 30 day or a 90 day challenge to simply not buy any new Kindle books. Suggest the same for your son with his Steam games. If you have the urge, ignore it or, if you must take action, put that item on a wishlist. This does a great job of strongly curtailing that desire to acquire, but its a desire that can easily grow if youre not being conscious about it. I find that doing these kinds of moratoriums regularly does a pretty good job of slowing down my collecting nature. As for actually using those backlogs, the best thing Ive ever done is to consciously block off time in my schedule for that kind of exploration. I block off an hour a day for reading, and that has caused my book backlog to evaporate. I block off time on many weekends to play board games and that means the games in my collection are getting much more play. Q6: 403(b) risky? I work at [a public university]. One of my coworkers claims that people shouldnt put money into a 403(b) because politicians will eventually target that money for extra taxation or reclamation because it is public funds. He thinks that because we are government employees our 403(b) money will eventually get reclaimed by the government so saving in a 403(b) is a waste. Is this even possible? Ana Well, anythings possible, I suppose. However, if youre running your life in response to what you think its possible that the government might do, youre walking by a ton of opportunity. I mean, I think its possible that the government might outlaw certain classes of opioids. Does that mean I should start hoarding them, just in case, even though theyre very likely to just sit in my cupboard and go bad? Of course not, and I consider new opioid restrictions to be far more likely than any changes to 403(b) taxation. Let me put it to you this way: if the United States government starts retroactively taxing the retirement savings of a large class of citizenry in a way that invalidates the entire reason for putting money in there in the first place, we will already be in an extremely ugly situation that will get much uglier. 401(k) and 403(b) plans are already big wins for the federal government because its a way to pump tons and tons of money into investments and thus helping the economy in exchange for merely delaying taxes for a while. The government makes far more money leaving 401(k) and 403(b) plans just as they are than if they were to tinker with them in a way that would drive people away from them. It is possible that the government would do something like that, but if theyre doing things like that, then we have much bigger fish to fry, like a rapidly devaluing dollar. In fact, most financial conspiracy theories that people use to justify weird financial choices are ones that, if they came to fruition, would be completely overshadowed by a collapsing economy and a hyperinflated dollar. In my opinion, a 403(b) is about as safe as you can get, and the risks you are taking by having one are overshadowed by the risk of having your money in the form of American dollars, and I dont consider that much of a risk either. The only realistic change I can see to a 403(b) is that they might change how the program works in the future, and that would probably involve sunsetting the current 403(b) program and letting the current accounts continue to exist without further contributions while introducing some form of replacement account. They absolutely would not want to risk any mass withdrawals from 403(b) plans if they abruptly taxed them, Wall Street would lay an egg and the value of the dollar would plummet. The government will bend over backwards to avoid that, not encourage it. Q7: Cheap or expensive bag? I need a messenger bag or backpack for work. I have been looking at the options and it seems like you can either get a cheap one for like $20 that will last for a year maybe before the straps start breaking or you can get one for like $200 that will last for several years maybe five or ten, maybe twenty. Cheap bag does the job now for only $20 but I will be replacing it before long if I use it every day. Expensive bag will do it practically for life but its really expensive right now and I have a hard time justifying spending $200 on a bag. I know you lean toward buying things for life and I can see that the long term cost might be lower with the expensive bag, but I cant justify $200 on a bag right now. Duane To me, the deciding factor in these situations is the cost of failure. What exactly happens when a bag fails on you? In my own experience, thats usually the moment when its time to get a new bag the old one failed in some way. A strap breaks or the bottom rips out or something like that. Whats the consequences of that kind of failure? What happens if youre actively using your bag and suddenly a strap breaks on your or the bottom rips out? If the consequences arent too disastrous, thats a mark toward a cheaper bag. If the consequences are dire, thats a mark toward a more expensive bag. Personally, one of the things I strongly consider when buying an item is the consequence of failure. If it causes a potentially major career or life hardship or an enormous mess, Im going to get the reliable version. If its something small, like an overcooked or undercooked meal, the cheaper version seems much more acceptable to me. For me, this was what drew me to getting a buy it for life kind of bag for daily use. Q8: Thoughts on Aldi Aldi just opened up in my community. We shopped there and thought it was okay and that the prices were great but there were weird little annoyances with layout and selection and the carts. Then I saw on CNN about how Aldi is expanding fast. What are your thoughts on Aldi? Good place to shop? Alice Im guessing that this is the CNN story that Alice is referring to. That article describes it well: they strip down the shopping experience as much as possible to make the prices low. What Ive found is that it means that their selection is kind of limited and some of their items arent particularly healthy, but their prices on what they do have are amazing. There are two different Aldi stores within about fifteen minutes of my house. Aldi is probably the cheapest grocer available to me, though Fareway isnt too far behind them and has a somewhat better selection. I basically find that the cheaper a grocery stores prices are, the weaker the selection is and the more bare-bones the shopping experience is. I generally dont mind the bare-bones shopping experience, but I do find that it restricts what I can cook if I only use Aldi (or, to a much lesser extent, Fareway). I find that if I shop at Aldi, I usually have to make a second stop for some items; occasionally, I have to do the same with Fareway, but not too often. Other grocers, like Hy-Vee, will have everything I need, but the prices are higher. Thus, it comes down to a convenience thing and a meal planning thing. If I plan very simple meals, I can get everything I need at Aldi, but our meals arent very varied. Theyre certainly cheap, but not varied. If I add more variety, I either need to make multiple stops when grocery shopping, adding significant time to my shopping trip, or shop at Fareway or even Hy-Vee. Honestly, I still mostly shop at Fareway. The prices are very good and they generally have almost everything I need. Aldi is lower on the items that overlap with Fareway, but I usually dont have to make a second stop if I shop at Fareway, its closer to my home, and the prices arent really that different for a typical weeks grocery list. Aldi is great if your list is entirely common food staples, and I do shop there sometimes. Q9: Is renters insurance necessary? Is it always necessary to get renters insurance? Just moved out from parents and my apartment has a bunch of Goodwill stuff and family hand me downs. If its gone I dont lose much. Matt First of all, its very possible that your landlord requires you to have some sort of renters insurance policy. Youll need to look carefully at your lease; if you dont have it, you might be in violation of your lease. Many leases require the renter to have a $100,000 (or more) liability policy. Honestly, the big reason that many first time renters need renters insurance is for the liability coverage. If you accidentally burn down the building and its clear youre at fault, the landlords insurance may cover some of it, but you also have a legal liability too. If you dont have insurance, that can be a huge problem. Renters insurance is pretty cheap, though. You can get a policy that includes $30,000 in property coverage (covering your stuff in event of theft or disaster) and $100,000 in liability for around $15 a month. I think its a good idea, even for people without much stuff, to get this kind of insurance if theyre renting, just because the cost is so low compared to the downside. Q10: Appliance repair or replace? Our washing machine has broken down twice in the last six months. A family friend has fixed it both times but he says that to really fix the problem will cost about $200 in parts and that we should get someone else to fix it as hes more of a handyman. Time to replace? Noelle Absolutely. I dont even hesitate to say yes to this. When a repair bill is going to be a large portion of the cost of replacing an older item, its time to replace the item, as there are likely other points of failure coming in the future. There are exceptions to this, of course. If you are familiar with repairing the item yourself or have an interest in figuring it out, then you should by all means give it a shot. If you can find the parts for cheap and want to tackle the repair on your own, maybe with the help of that friend, then its probably worth it. My guess is, given the price, that electronic components are involved, but the actual procedure shouldnt be too difficult. However, thats not something that necessarily appeals to everyone or works with everyones life. In that situation, I think a replacement is very justified. The nice part is that your current washer should last long enough to allow you to shop around. Q11: Saying no to parent Im 31 years old and single. My father passed away about six years ago. My mom didnt handle it well and has become an alcoholic and possibly a drug user. She comes to me and my brother regularly to borrow money. She does manage to keep her job at a grocery store that shes had since I was a kid but I have heard that the manager keeps her on out of loyalty and she shows up to work drunk sometimes. She was so wonderful raising me and to see her like this tears me apart but I dont know how to say no when she asks. She asks frequently enough that it does put some financial strain on my situation, though I am still making progress on my student loans. Do you have any advice for me? Megan If I were you, the absolute first step I would take is to find an Al-Anon group for you. The purpose of Al-Anon is to support people in your exact situation, those that have loved ones with alcohol abuse issues. It sounds like your mother is a good person who was broken in some way by the death of your father and she doesnt know what to do so she uses alcohol to self-medicate, and that is causing difficulties in your own life. Al-Anon can help you deal with things on your own end and perhaps help you figure out how to help your mother. There will probably come a point where you will have to tell her no, but I cant really offer specific advice on that because I dont know the specific situation. I can simply recommend Al-Anon as a great next step. Q12: Getting value from self-improvement books A lot of times when I read a book about personal finance or getting organized, the ideas make a lot of sense but then I close the cover and none of it seems to matter or take hold in my life and before long Ive forgotten everything other than a few main points. Do you have any tips for making personal finance books or organizing books more sticky in my head? Mary There are two key elements that I think make the difference for me. The first is that I take a lot of notes as Im reading it. If its on the Kindle or a copy I dont mind abusing, Ill do a ton of highlighting as I go. If its a library book, Ill put in bookmarks as I go. Then, when Im done, I wait a few days, then go back through the highlights and take actual handwritten notes on the book. This impresses the ideas into my mind. The other part is that, from those notes, if I have positive thoughts about the book at all, I try to put some of those notes into practice immediately. I usually do a thirty day challenge with some of the suggestions in the book, meaning I try to apply them as well as I can for thirty days in my life. If it seems like the trial run will actually be a net positive change, Ill keep going with it, doing a ninety day challenge with perhaps some revisions. The goal here is to try to set those changes as a habit in my life. Rolling back a bit, I find that Im more successful with this kind of change if Im already strongly interested in the type of change that the book is targeting before I ever start reading it. If its not a change thats compelling to you, its probably not worth your time to read a book on any self-improvement topic. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-child-rearing-costs-laundry-services-unused-media-aldi-and-more/

[wildlyhardphilosopher-blog]

puppy training near me | potty training older dogs

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puppy training near me | potty training older dogs

5. Stop Excessive Barking Mat & Crate Covers Owning a new puppy can be a very rewarding time in your life, but, it can be difficult and challenging as well. When you get a new puppy, expectations, can sometimes be unrealistic. That Is where Gahanna Animal Hospital comes into both of your lives. Your puppy will love you for making its crate into a nice place. Leave their favorite toys in there and reward them with a treat or two. Provide lots of praise for going into the crate and staying there. This helps provide a safe place for your puppy that will be useful for many years, even long after your dog is potty trained. Tap the cushion and instruct “Up.” Featured content People + $5.12 shipping 10 Signs Your Cat Might Be Stressed Richard Wolfson The best dog food 4500 West Wisconsin Avenue SecondNature® Mixed Breed Dogs Not Helpful 12 Helpful 20 Bathing Equipment A puppy expert in your home Level 2 Boulder Good Dog Club Mobile App Family Owned San Diego Dog Training Business 2. Start using a crate the day you bring him home. Crate training is the easiest way to teach a dog bladder and bowel control because dogs don’t like to soil their sleeping and eating areas. A Hungarian dog training group called Népszigeti Kutyaiskola use a variation of model-rival training which they describe as the Mirror Method. The mirror method philosophy is that dogs instinctively learn by following the example of others in their social sphere. Core to the program is including the dog in all aspects of the owner’s life and positive reinforcement of copying behaviors. Mirror method dog training relies on using a dog’s natural instincts and inclinations rather than working against them.[67] We all know barking is a part of a puppy’s language; however, sounds like howling, whining, barking and crying can drive … If your puppy does have an accident when you’re not looking, just clean it up calmly. If you catch your puppy in the middle of going, quietly pick them up and pop them outside to see if they can finish what they started in the right place – if they do, then praise them gently. If they don’t, just be extra vigilant in the house next time. Walking Your Puppy When It’s Too Hot Outside intermediate training: ‘Did Not Rise To Level’ Of Cruelty: SnoCo Auditor On Dog Beating AKC Humane Fund Reptile & Amphibian How to Potty Train a Puppy Fast: The Fundamentals Adult Dog Complete Package Dog Training is about creating a good relationship with your dog, How long they took to potty after being taken to the potty spot 2-oz bottle July 3, 2018 Wednesday, July 4 letters: Oil production, pets, wildfire This is vital to housetraining success. Puppies have tiny bladders, and water just runs right through them. The same holds true for solid matter. Goes in. Goes out. You have to make sure you are giving your puppy ample opportunity to do the right thing. Most Popular Dog Breeds November 20, 2016 7 Steps To Puppy Obedience Training How do I potty train my new dog when they are older? Make sure you know as much as possible about how your new dog has been trained before. This is important, as it is your way to know what to expect. For example, if they were trained on a potty pad, you can’t expect your new dog to suddenly start going out to pee. If you don’t know about their history, try crate training, but be patient. You are changing a habit, which can be hard but not impossible. It will just take more time, observation, rewards, praise and patience on your part. Sammamish-Issaquah RSS Feed Any time you are putting your dog in their crate — be it for a crate training session or when putting them in there before leaving the house — make sure they’ve had a good opportunity to go out to potty and to get in some good play and exercise, too. Trupanion Copyright Dr. Becker Discusses Water with Paul Barattiero What to do if you catch him in the act Having raised and trained various dog breeds for many years, I must state that the content within these pages represents some of the best Labrador information I have ever seen or read. Get a monthly sample of helpful information, tips, and discounts for your dog or cat Whatever happened to the days when collecting signitures for a ballot initiative was a grassroots effort undertaken by volunteers? Now it seems like all these groups end up hiring professional signiture gatherers, literally buying their way onto the ballot. Fleas and Ticks Teach your puppy to be gentle when interacting with people. He must not nip or chew on people’s hands. Learning Comments Our Global History Avoid playing exciting games in the garden before your puppy has toileted, as this is likely to distract them from the main purpose of going outside. If they want to come back inside straight away, or look confused, patiently walk up and down slowly to encourage them to move about and sniff the ground. Stay outside with your puppy until they have done their business at which point you can give gentle praise. Avoid leaving your puppy outside in the hope that they will eventually go to the toilet, as most puppies will not want to be left alone and will instead concentrate on getting back to you, rather than learning to go to the toilet outside. You might also miss the opportunity to praise your puppy if they do go, or if they don’t go, they may then be ‘caught short’ once back in the house! It’s hardly surprising many people have barking problems with their dogs, since most dogs have no idea whether barking is something good or bad. That’s because our reaction to his barking is confusing to the dog. In his eyes, when he barks, he is sometimes ignored, while at other times he is shouted at to stop, and then again he may be encouraged to bark if, for example, there’s a suspicious stranger nearby. Removing Pet Stains in Your Home BREED INFO Can Dogs Have Strokes And What Are The Signs?

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training a puppy

how to potty train a dog

fbq('track', 'ViewContent', content_ids: 'dogtraining.dknol', ); Hill’s® Prescription Diet® k/d® Canine Beef & Vegetable Stew 17.59 Whether you’re looking for an all-inclusive Board & Train program to a group puppy socialization class, we have what you need!  Part 12: How To House Train An Adult Dog – And Solving Common Issues How did you hear about us? Comment: * If you are feeding, exercising, training and playing with your puppy to a schedule, and when you look at your diary there seems to be no pattern to the times they need to potty, you should seek the advice of your vet. — Ken Ramirez, Executive VP & Chief Training Officer, Karen Pryor Clicker Training  Navigation Delivery Worldwide Box Office Mojo What is the best way to train and discipline your dog? CLAWGUARD (2) Going Home Article Index REALTREE Puppy Vaccinations This guide has taken me many weeks to put together so I’m hoping it will prove useful to people. When taking your dog out of the crate, you should immediately take it outside. Until potty trained, confining your puppy will make keeping a close eye on it and training it much easier. It will limit the possible mess as well.[17] Dog Rocks Storage & Scoops I have written an in-depth article that covers all the common puppy training problems that new puppy owners experience. Yorkshire Terrier Aggressive toward other dogs This post may contain affiliate links. We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post. Monday – Friday, 9 am – 5 pm Sponsored by Purina® Pro Plan®. Stand Rite No Bite® Dog Safety Program Bus Stop Benny via flickr/wildstray Never leave children unattended and unsupervised with dogs, even ones that seem “safe”. You may need to isolate the dog and/or crate him when a knowledgeable adult cannot be present. 952-914-0292 See also[edit] Dog Rocks Lawn Burn Patch Preventative, 2 months 7 weeks ago Work on supervised separation Puppy Management and Training College Some people recommend to stay out there for 10, 15, 20 minutes, whatever it takes until they go, then praise profusely when they do. Although this advice may be sound, personally I’d rather not. Belgian Tervuren Find a Doctor Angels’ Eyes Why Does My Dog Poop in the House? Campbell You can also switch to other games like fetch or tug of war. With fetch, it’s important to teach your dog to “let go” or “leave it” on command, so you can remove something from his mouth without him getting aggressive. Likewise, with tug of war, you want to make sure the game doesn’t get too rough, as this can encourage aggressive behavior and also isn’t good for your dog’s mouth. AKC Registered Handler Program May 29, 2018 10:05 am The best flea treatments for dogs Potty Bells Housetraining D… Jackson Galaxy (7) Arizona’s Premier Training Facility Yesterday’s News Screen Reader: Supported Rent or hire a carpet cleaner with special pet-urine enzymatic cleaner or use an enzymatic cleaner, such as Nature’s Miracle or Simple Solution, found in most pet supply stores or online. Consultation Alex March 19, 2018 at 9:30 pm Surviving the Night with Your New Puppy View All Events Labrador Facts & Fun Find a formula for your dog’s unique needs & preferences. As soon as you get your new puppy, love on him and let him hear the sound of your voice. What is a typical day like? Biscuits & Snacks Feline fitness: Tips for exercising your cat The good news is that this behavior usually decreases naturally as your new puppy starts to understand that you will always come back. In the meantime, tools like interactive pet cameras or crates can ensure that your furry friend stays out of trouble while you’re gone. Choose Your Training Path Pregnancy Q&A: Travel Forum: Introduce Yourself Posted By: Sheppard wolf Post Time: 04-26-2018 at 09:44 PM Make A Payment To Ahimsa Part 2: Basic Need To Know Facts Before You Start Special Promotions! Diabetes A huge benefit to this is a puppy learns while very young that just because they have an urge to wee or poop, they don’t have to and can actually hold it. With other methods a puppy doesn’t learn this fact while so young. clare power Never punish your puppy if he has an accident in the house. This only teaches the dog to fear the idea of going to the bathroom when people are around, and he will likely still go in the house — just not when his owner is looking. Instead, if you catch your puppy in the act, you can interrupt him with an “oops,” and immediately take him to his proper elimination area outside. puppy training classes prices | puppies barking puppy training classes prices | how to train a puppy not to bark puppy training classes prices | barking puppies Legal | Sitemap

[infernumequinomin]

Hi there... I’m sorry if this is too personal, but I saw your recent post mentioning that menstrual cups are such a lifesaver, and for the most part I agree, but it seems like I can never get the position right and it still leaks often... do you have any advice beyond the directions that come with the cup? Again, I’m sorry if this is too invasive to ask, you don’t have to respond if you’re uncomfortable with it. ;;;;

Yeah absolutely not a problem my friend menstrual cups can have kind of a learning curve!My tips and such are gonna be geared pretty primarily towards reusable menstrual cups and not the disposable kind because I just havent ever used them. Also pardon the lack of ref images or anything am on mobile.

Cup Hacks:

If you are having consistent leaks you maybe don’t have a big enough cup, this was my first issue because I used to use the much smaller tampons when I used them then was leaking like nuts, no fun. Get a bigger sized cup (Diva Cup does a small-medium and a large, I used to use a slim tampon and heavy duty pad and need to use the large cup, MoonCups I have been told are slightly larger, so your sizing may vary) If the leaks are kind of sporadic then you may be having some issues getting the cup seating and sealed properly.

Inserting tips, a lot of the guides say to insert the cup kind of folded in half on itself, this can sometimes keep the cup from springing back into shape in the way you need it to upon insertion. I tend to dip the edge into the rounded portion of the cup in a sort of U shape rather than a folded over sandwich shape (I literally can't think of another way to describe this pardon my brain) because it retains its shape on insertion better. When you insert the guide is like “hey shove that bad boy allllll the way up to your cervix” its actually easier to get a solid seal by getting the cup into yourself and then gently pushing up and tilting the opening of the cup towards your bellybutton region. This allows the cup to settle out into being open again and pressing it up after prevents weird suction directly on your cervix which can cause cramps to worsen, can be concerning for folx with IUDs, and is generally not super comfy overall, do not recommend.So simple layman’s instruction: dip one edge of the cup into the center of the cup and squeeze it to hold in place. Insert into your vagina until just the edge of the cup is sitting in your opening, twist and adjust as needed to get the cup to open back up if releasing it did not already. Push the cup into yourself in a sort of parallel to your vagina angle, aiming the opening of the cup up towards your cervix. Wipe any excess blood from your parts, there may be light spotting on heavier days just from blood that was shed while cleaning/emptying your cup so maybe also wear a light pantiliner. If youre noticing more than like a teaspoon of blood on your pantiliner in a few hours, you may not have seated the cup correctly, or you’re bleeding more than the cup can handle and should empty it. A good sign youve not got the suction youre looking for is If you empty the cup and its only slightly full but you've been spotting, the seal isnt good and ya need to adjust. ALSO, sometimes specific strenuous activity like running, riding roller coasters or horses, and swimming can mess up your seal a bit, and you should adjust accordingly.

Removing/cleaning your menstrual cup:Hey that things WAY up there now, how ya gonna get it out? Sittin on a toilet with some leg spread is generally enough for the cup to lower itself towards your entrance, you shouldn’t really have to go fishing for it unless it is way too small for your bod. I’ve had to reach maybe a half inch at most but generally a soft push like youre trying to make yourself pee is enough to force it lower and make it easier to grab. (FUN TIP: PEE BEFORE TRYING THIS SO YOU DONT PEE ON YOUR DANG HAND) Use a bit of toilet paper to reduce grossness factor a bit, grab the ridges or tail on the cup and GENTLY lower it out. Pulling too fast makes one hell of a mess and I defo made that mistake of pulling it out like a tampon at first and had to frantically wipe down the toilet cause I got blood all over and honestly friends… It just isn't worth it. Be gentle. Cradle it and empty it backwards towards your butt to avoid potential UTI issues and then pull it out of your crotch/toilet area. (I’m not actually sure what the rate of UTIs among folx who use a cup are but I know I havent had one since I started using mine but be safe either way!)

In any given bathroom, public or private, ya got a couple options for cleaning the thing out. If you have a sink close enough to where your toilet is, a little rinse in generally fine if you’re reinserting it immediately, and you can use soap if you want it to be a little more sanitary (I recommend this unless youre getting rushed out the door by your girlfriend to go get burgers). You can also, if sinks are out of reach or just gonna cause you to hobble your way over with your pants around your ankle (don’t do this, its not worth the potential for drippage since you just opened the floodgates so to speak), do a wipe down with some tp or a damp paper towel if you remember to do that when you walk into the bathroom like a person better than me would. I generally ball up a little bit of tp, slide it inside, give everything a good wipe down, and then flush the evidence away (don’t flush that paper towel though, rude). This is honestly not preferred for me, I’d rather rinse it every time, but you really never know if youre gonna have to empty your cup in a public stall bathroom so, ces la vie, gotta live your life.

Cup comparisons:

I used to use 2-3 overnight or super pads a day for the heaviest days of my flow (which was generally the 3-4 days in the middle of my gottdang 7 day period). With my cup I generally use 1 or 2 pantiliners a day on heavy days, none at the beginning of my period or towards the end when I’m lighter, and maybe a regular pad overnight if I’m especially heavy, so I am still occasionally wearing a few disposable items but honestly, a pantiliner is a game changer from wearing big heavy overnight pads to WORK ugh. On average I personally wear my cup for 4-6 hours before emptying it, longer towards the beginning and end of my period, but usually don’t wear it for longer than 10 hours at a time. This is my experience and I honest to god dont know if TSS is a thing that can happen with a cup, but listen to your body and if you start feeling sick at all, definitely remove it and wear a pad for a bit. You can defo use a cup with reusable pads but I dont own any and haven’t really looked at the literature on whether they’re better/worse bacterial infection or whatever wise so I can’t give a good recommendation despite a few folx I know having good experiences with them.

Care and cleaning: I generally wash my cup with a mild vinegar and water solution right after my period ends, this cuts down a lot on bacteria growth and the general funk that a cup can get over time. Its medical grade silicone but its spending most of its time in a moist, nutrient rich environment for bacteria, and like, ngl, the thing is gonna just have a blood smell. It just is. Right after the first week you use it. Its gonna smell kinda weird. Faint, but kinda gross blood/general vagina smell. Nothing wrong with a little vagina smell. I soak my cup overnight after the initial wash in a combo of water and antibacterial soap, dry it, and put it away with my period junk. Once every few months you can do a boil out but you have to be careful not to let your cup melt on the bottom of the pot. Just a mix of water and vinegar (like ¼ cup vin to 2 to 3 cups water) boiled on the stove and drop the cup in there. Use a spoon to make sure it doesn’t touch the bottom and melt or warp, and stay with it. Maybe boil like 10 minutes or so and drain it out and set it somewhere to air dry that isn’t gonna freak out your roommates (don’t dry it with the dishes, big mistake) or have it sitting in water, the point is to let it dry out and breathe. Diva Cup says to replace your cup every year or something which I honestly think is a good way for them to make a crapton of money off people who are super scared of their hygiene being bad and gross or something. You should get rid of your cup around the time that the silicone starts to degrade or start looking rough. I kept my first Diva Cup for 3 years before it started to really show signs of wear and tear in the silicone. Signs your cup may need to hit the streets include: creases or crimps in the cup, persistent discoloration of the silicone (washing, soaking, boiling doesnt do anything and there’s just a grossness to the thing that washing it isn’t helping), a persistent musty sort of smell (this may imply you weren’t washing/caring for your cup as much as it needed and if you’re starting to get that a solid overnight to 2 day soak in a vinegar solution may help a lot. Do it as a 2 stage soak, soak, empty, soak again. Warm water works best and towel dry it off really really well after.) tearing in the silicone period! Its not gonna be effective if there’s a rip, especially on the rim cause that suction is what you want!, and if there are defects or scratches in the silicone overall. So bubbles, scratches, warping, ect.

Storing your cup in a clean, dry place is also important to keeping it from getting damaged or gross to the point you need to get rid of it.

Also, fun fact, you can have sex using a cup. It isn’t a replacement for birth control if that’s a thing you need, but it can make the uncomfortable oozing parts of period sex less… Oozy. PIV Intercourse can be a bit more of a challenge with a silicone cup because of the tail but is definitely possible. Other sex acts (outercourse, oral, frotting) are a lot easier (or even possible depending on your partners feelings on period sex at all) and due to the way self lubrication works in a vagina the cup wont prevent things from getting wet, just keep the blood from making everything a vaguely pink mess.

Anyway so that’s my essay on menstrual cups, I hope this helps ya out with loving your cup and makes it a lot easier to prevent leaks!

Go out and live your fullest life!

[tumblunni]

Bunni continues to play Richard And Alice! Random thoughts and stuff!

* I’m really not good at point and click advantures, so i dunno if my opinion is very valuable, but this one just seems... not good, gameplay-wise. The sections are all different lengths and difficulty levels in each chapter, and not in a fitting way. Like so far the only one where I had to combine two items was the first chapter, it took me ages to figure out what the game wanted me to do with the bedsheets. And then the second chapter had like zero point and click at all, you just had to find one toy brick and stick it to block one hole, then it was just story cutscenes. And now in chapter three we have a suddenly huge snowfield to explore with your painfully slow walk speed, yet there’s only like one thing you need to find and just... I’m getting surprisingly anxious worrying if I missed something cos i only found that one thing! There was a whole section i didnt explore cos i didnt realise you couldnt go back outside after you managed to open the door. And what was with the misdirect of Alice saying ‘maybe i can reach this window if i have something to stand on’ and then instead she just shot off the lock on the door? Does that mean there were multiple solutions to this puzzle and thats why the place was so huge?

* Anyway, the story continues to be intriguingly good! I continue to be really engaged in poor Alice’s journey through this post apocolyptic snow world with her lil son, and I continue to be really worried what happened to that son, since this is a flashback and Alice met Richard alone... Also I like the continuity that Barney is continuing to talk about the close call they had last time with a monsterous bastard who kidnapped them. This poor lil 7 year old is struggling to keep up and struggling to keep smiling so his mum won’t be sad, and its just SO COLD and he doesnt understand why they left ‘the safe house’ because he doesnt understand they were prisoners there. And god, its so sad cos you can understand how Alice might be getting frustrated with him, and you can understand that she KNOWS she’s being irrational, but she’s just so scared that she sucks at keeping up a brave face for her kid. But I think she’s doing a great job, she’s way more of a badass survivor than anyone else would have been in this situation! And Barney is being incredibly good too, he’s being really patient and obedient to his mum and he’s a really considerate kid, he gave his mum his toy car cos she was getting sad remembering when her husband was alive and they used to ‘go on adventures’. (”But we’re on an adventure now, mummy!”)

* And MAN I am REALLY WORRIED for this poor kid, he’s been showing signs of getting sick as they were travelling the snowy wasteland and I hope they can at least get a break now they’ve found this abandoned house to sleep in. BUT NOPE! Alice finds mysterious scary notes with some sort of log of... people...? It definately doesnt feel like just someone recording visitors or survivors they met, its got a weird sort of... priorities, to what was written down. ‘Fem. caucasian. 20s. Compliant. 65lbs.’ And then what struck me as especially weird was that someone would classify a kid as ‘Female. age 7. 21 lbs’ instead of like.. actually writing that it was a kid. This is someone seeing these people as.. merchandise. You never really get an answer in this chapter but I think it’s someone who was offering survivors fake shelter and then cannibalising them T_T The chapter just ends with Alice finding an ambiguously scary room with a bloodstain, but this is the only shelter they have, so all she can do is lock the door again so her kid doesn’t see, and barricade the front door in case this cannibal cult comes back for their home base... *shudder*

* But also seriously, why did I collect like five other red herring letters as well as the cannibal one? And a rusty saw and ammo for a different gun. Was that JUST red herrings or did I miss an optional puzzle?

* Its actually a weird relief to get back out of the flashback and back to our slightly-less-horrible horrible situation in present times. Sure, Alice and Richard are locked in prison, but in this apocolyptic scenario its a relief to be somewhere where you get daily food and working electricity. There’s even a tv that only sometimes doesnt work! And they have each other, and they’re building up a nice friendship now, and it just feels quite optimistic. Richard’s even getting a bit of a crush on Alice, even though the attempts at flirting between the two of them are failing horribly cos they’re both total goobers. i dunno, if they do get together in the end, I totally wouldnt mind it! I dont think its really necessary though.

* Aww but the more we learn about everyone’s backstory, the more I really wanna hug em! We still dont know very much about Richard, but we’ve learned now that he had an ‘average childhood’, at least, by his definition. And he lived in some sort of small country town, and he joined the army in order to see more of the world. But it went really badly and he got sent to prison for rebelling against a superior officer who made a clearly immoral order. JUSTICE FOR RICHARD, GRARR!! And then Alice continues to be way more well developed and interesting, even though I do still feel sympathetic for richard, yknow. Just a lil frustrated that it took us so long to even hear that lil bit about him, when he’s supposed to be the ‘main character’. Seriously he seems like just a framing device for us to talk to alice and see her flashbacks! Anyway, now we’ve learned that Alice didn’t have much of a childhood, because she was hospitalized for a long time. And she talks about how she felt like a burden and felt suicidal and how she never even got to make any friends til she grew up and became a lil more healthy, and then she sorta ended up in an unplanned pregnancy with the first man she ever dated, and never had a chance to pursue her dream career and just... wow Alice dear god, someone up there in the heavens hates you! God, I hope this game has an actual happy ending, please! And also it makes me EVEN MORE WORRIED about what happened to her kid, now im starting to worry if maybe he inherited her childhood disease and like.. it only first started manifesting during the apocolypse and she wasnt able to find a doctor in time.. or something... MAN THIS GAME IS GIVING ME A MILLION WAYS THIS SWEET BOY COULD DIE

* Oh but one random complaint... much as I care about Barney, he kinda isnt a very well written character. They fall into a lot of super outdated ‘fake movieverse child’ cliches instead of like.. bothering to listen to what actual kids talk like. He’s always using that fake cutesy talk like ‘i made you a waffle but i eated it’. Its rather jarring! ...but still I WILL DEFEND MY VIRTUAL SON FOREVER dont you dare kill him off just because his dialogue is poorly informalized!

* The next chapter is kinda boring, its not really even a chapter but just an intermission to show us some more gameplay and nothing else. Richard and Alice do nothing but have an awkward fetch quest to find enough stuff to make a pole to reach the termostat outside the jail cell, and then after all that it ends up failing anyway. I guess at least we do get a bit of character development cos we get to see them both frustrated and having a bit of an argument, then making up again, and etc. But meh, bring on the next actual plot flashback!

* “Why does Daddy live in the ground?”

* thats it im done this is how bunni is slain fucking hell

* god, I dunno if I made the right choice but I chose to be honest with the kid and try and explain what death is. I got to hear the backstory of how the dad died, so i THINk that was the right choice? It seems he died back when barney was too young to even really know him. It was at the start of the apocolypse and the family was doing semi okay living in a shared shelter with a bunch of other people. But then it was the start of government aid breaking down and society crumbling, and a gang stole the last food ration pack from them and the dad thought he could reason with them. And its just so sad cos Alice is thinking of all the ways it could have been prevented! ‘We’ve gotten used to surviving with less now, what if we’d just let that food go? we could have lasted’ And what if they’d shot first and asked questions later, instead of trying to be diplomatic. And apparantly back then things were a little less abd so there actually was a trader they could have got more food from, but resources were limited so they decided it wasnt worth it at the time. And the after the gang killed the dad and some of the other leaders of the shelter group, it seems like things just collapsed in a power struggle and thats how Alice ended up alone... And you just have this sad sidequest to gather flowers for his grave and then Barney is all ‘i dont really know him and i dont understand so i feel bad that i cant cry’ and then he’s asking if dead people can hear you from down in the ground. And I picked being honest again, and Alice didnt say yes or no, she just admitted that nobody really knows what happens after you die, and you have to choose what you want to believe. So Barney chooses to try and tell his dad about how they’re having a good day playing in the snow on this adventure, and Alice tells him that Barney’s grown up so big and strong, and Barney says ‘Yeah! Strong like a lion! Or you, daddy!’ and BUNNI’S SOUL SHATTERS INTO A MILLION PIECES

* i am gone i am deceased at this deceaseness aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

* And there’s like an optional note you can find that tells the story about some unnamed kid who was living alone with their friend Lucy and they were trying to survive without any adults to help, and its all SCARILY VAGUE and I hope we get to learn more about them later cos it just says how the same gang who killed the dad was just.. ominously circling around the area and Lucy was acting weird and then dissappeared, with a letter saying she chose to leave for [insert name of far away settlement here] but it was really suspicious and the unnamed kid thinks that the gang was threatening lucy and they must have kidnapped her and faked this note and then the diary just ENDS it just ends with the kid talking about how much they love lucy and cant live without her and we dont know if they found her or if she even really was kidnapped?? ITS SO VAGUE! its so vague that honestly im only just assuming the diary writer was a kid too, i mean maybe they were lucy’s parent or sibling or something? or maybe both them and lucy are older? but the way it was written sounded like they were like early high schoolers or something (then again this game is bad at writing kid characters so maybe not) I MOURN FOR YOU, UNNAMED DIARY PERSON AND LUCY OF MYSTERY

* OH GOD DOOM when it went back to modern day, now its got all mysterious and weird and sad too, AAAARRRGH the heroes are still in prison, but the guards have stopped coming to their cell and theyre stuck here scared and worrying and you dont know if the obvious has actually happened... i mean maybe the prison has been abandoned or everyone died and now they’re stuck here locked in their cell and AAAA eventually the cold will start seeping in and kill them too and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

* okay im gonna go get back to playing this game

[trendingnewsb]

The Problem Isnt Just Trump. Its Our Ignorant Electorate.

For many of us, mornings have taken on a certain nauseating sameness. We roll out from beneath the blankets and, before the scent of coffee has reached our nostrils, we are checking the news feeds for the latest semi-literate tweet coughed up by the ranting, traitorous squatter occupying the Oval Office.

The rest of the day is spent in a kind of horrified suspension, holding our breath, waiting for whatever outrage will inevitably belch forth from the White Houseonce a bastion of seriousness and decorum, now ground zero for the demise of western democracy. How many lies will Trump spew today? Which dictators will he suck up to? Will he smear a Gold Star family? Attack a woman who dares to call out his smarmy predations? Unveil a puerile, racist nickname for a Senator or member of his own cabinet?

As much as we loathe it, however sickening it might have become, every day seems all about him, a former game show host and real estate failure, a hawker of rot-gut vodka and bullshit degrees from a fraudulent University who once styled himself as the Donald. The cable news shows lead with his most recent flatulence, the op-ed pages brim with intimations of doom, late night comedians are having a field day.

He is the president and, thus, bears watching. But we would be mistaken to think that he is truly the center of our universe, a man with a plan, commanding the heights, directing the action.

Virulent as he may be, Donald J. Trump is a symptom not the disease. Without us, he would amount to nothing more than what he had always been before the bizzaro presidential election of 2016: a foppish narcissist desperate for any measure of affirmation; a joke; a nothing. He did not create his voters. They have been there all along, seething with sometimes justifiable anger and suffering their various insecurities. They created and enabled Trump. And make no mistake, in all their vulnerable humanity, they are us: Gullible, compliant, distracted, marinating in irony.

At root, we the people are the problem.

We are understandably reluctant to impugn the intelligence and integrity of our fellow citizens. It is arrogant, uncivil, bad form. Who are we, any of us, to hold ourselves superior? When Hillary Clinton referred to some Trump supporters as deplorables, she was roundly castigated on all sides. How dare she? Yet it is an uncomfortable reality that anywhere from a fifth to a third of our electorate can be fairly (if gently) described as low-information voters. If the results of numerous polls and questionnaires are to be trusted, they know very little about the world they inhabit and what they do know is often woefully incorrect.

Surveys conducted every two years by the National Science Foundation consistently demonstrate that slightly more than half of Americans reject the settled science concerning human evolution. They are not unaware that virtually all credible scientists accept the overwhelming evidence that we evolved from earlier species. They simply choose not to accept that consensus because it doesnt comport with their deeply held beliefs. Many also embrace the absurd notion that the earth is only six thousand years old. Astonishingly, in the early 21st century, around a quarter of our citizenry seems unaware that said earth revolves around the sun.

It is a mistake to regard concern about such ignorance as effete snobbery or elitist condescension. While misapprehensions about basic astronomy, earth science and biology may have little impact on these folks daily lives, does anyone actually believe that similarly uninformed views arent likely to affect their grasp of policies regarding, say, climate change? Income inequality? Gun violence? Immigration?

Profound knowledge gaps like the aforementioned reveal an inability to think critically and leave a person vulnerable to all manner of chicanery. We are all ignorant about many things. Dont get me started on my dismal grasp of mathematics! But the hallmark of a sound education is not glorying in what you think you know, but, instead, appreciating the vastness of what you dont know.

If ignorance is the key that opens the door for charlatans like Trump, improved education, whether in school or in the public square, would seem to provide an obvious solution. But here we confront the perverse Dunning-Kruger Effect identified by psychologistsessentially, the less we know, the more certain we become of our superior knowledge. We have also discovered that exposure to facts and evidence does not always have the expected impact. Many people, when confronted by irrefutable proof that some core belief is incorrect, dont change their minds but dig in their heels. What feels right to them must be right and no amount logic and reasoning will dissuade them. Emotion trumps evidence.

Not too long ago, I fell into conversation with a woman aboard an airplane. Our chat somehow turned to health care. She offered the opinion that people who couldnt afford health insurance didnt deserve medical services. Why should she pay for someones care when they were obviously too lazy to earn their own money?

Because Im my own kind of fool, I rose to the bait. Did that mean they should be allowed to die in the street? I wondered. Well, no, she said. That would be inhumane. They could always go to an emergency room. So she was willing to pay for their care, I observed, but only in the least efficient, most expensive manner. This gave her momentary pause, but she quickly regrouped, simply repeating her prior assertion: Why should she pay? I didnt ask who she planned to vote for in the then-upcoming presidential election, but given that she had also voiced the opinion that women were, by virtue of their gender, unqualified to be news anchors, Im guessing it wasnt Hillary Clinton or Jill Stein.

She is hardly the worst example of an unthinking voter. Bill Maher once invited onto his show former GM Executive Bob Lutz. One supposes that such a fellow has benefited from an adequate education and that hes open to reason. Yet, when the subject of climate change arose, Lutz denied it was happening. A bunch of nonsense as far as he was concerned.

As it happened, Maher had also invited Neil deGrasse Tyson, an astrophysicist, educator and Director of the Hayden Planetarium. Tyson patiently explained why Lutz was misinformed. The planet was warming. Humans were largely to blame. This is how we know.

You might expect an educated person to respond by at least engaging on the topic. Tyson was, after all, vastly more knowledgeable on the subject at hand. Had their roles been reversed, with the topic being cars, I have no doubt he would have deferred to the automaker, asking questions, trying to improve the state of his own knowledge. Not Lutz. You could see him shutting down before Tyson had even warmed to the topic (no pun intended). As Upton Sinclair famously put it, Its hard to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on him not understanding it.

Anyone who has watched the focus groups of Trump voters has seen this sorry dynamic played out again and again. Everything, no matter how tawdry or malicious, is excused or minimized. You get the feeling these folks would accept the sexual molestation of teenage girls as a trade-off for Neil Gorsuch. In fact, many did in supporting Roy Moore.

Welcome to the Post-Truth Era.

Much has been written about the impact social media and the internet in general have had on how people receive and absorb information. By now, we are all familiar with bots, trolls, phony scandals and the tendency of folks to hunker down in their own info-silos. The old adage that a lie is halfway round the world before the truth gets its socks on has never been more salient.

Consider the recent attacks on one of the young Parkland shooting survivors. A teenager who had just witnessed classmates being gunned down at his own school quickly discovered that speaking up for common-sense gun regulation resulted in vicious trolling and the viral lie that he was a paid crisis actor. This was similar to what befell the grieving families of the small children murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012. Imagine waking one morning in a state of searing grief over the violent death of your baby to discover that some odious prankster like Alex Jones is telling his gullible audience that the whole tragic incident was staged, that your child was actually a paid performer doused in artificial gore and posed in a gruesome tableaux of death.

That Jones and his ilk have not been thoroughly shamed and driven from the public sphere says a lot about our growing tolerance for vile nonsense.

Trump did not invent Fake News. The Big Lie has been the stock in trade of con men and tyrants since time immemorial. But he understands its value. Alternative facts as his lickspittle factotum, Kellyanne Conway infamously put it, has long been his metier. Hes a bullshitter, a phony and now hes our president.

This shouldnt have happened. But we let it happen, though Trump did have plenty of help

Unsurprisingly, the Fox propaganda machine and any number of right-wing radio ranters enthusiastically clambered aboard the Trump Train. They were abetted by many in the mainstream media who, mindful that Trump lured eyeballs to advertisers and too timid to call him out as the carnival barker he so obviously was, went along for the ride. A number of Republicans in Congress dismissed him at first. But when it became clear he had a shot at winning and that his devotees comprised at least half of their party, they scurried to adopt him as their useful idiot.

Its true that we are not all equally culpable. Roughly three million more people voted for Trumps chief opponent. But the right-minded among us didnt do enough to forestall the plainly looming disaster. The proof of that is the Trump presidency itself.

So, if we in our various incarnations are the problem, then what is the solution? Is there any way out? Wed better hope so. Whats certain is that its on us. We made a wreck of our government and its up to us to fix it.

There are positive signs:

A once compliant media has begun to take the gloves off. Genuine conservatives, outraged that their movement has been hijacked by philistines, are sounding the alarm. People are rising up and calling BS. For every Sean Hannity there is a Rachel Maddow, Jake Tapper or even Shepard Smith (at Fox News, no less!). For every Paul Ryan, there is a David Frum or Max Boot. Frothing crowds at CPAC are countered by the #MeToo movement and impressively eloquent teenagers fed up with politicians of any stripe who cower before the gun industry. On a good day, a John McCain or Jeff Flake will stand up to the cringing accommodationists in their own party. And, of course, Donald Trump himself, along with his corrupt lackeys, face a formidable foe in the person of Robert Mueller.

NSA Director Admiral Mike Rogers recent testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee should mark a turning point, though he merely confirmed what has been apparent for some time: that even as our nation is under attack from a Russia determined to subvert our democracy, the president has not directed any relevant agencies to defend the country. This is a violation of the oath Trump swore on inauguration day and smacks of treason. We have entered uncharted waters.

Whats clear is that we need to use all non-violent resources at our disposal to rid ourselves and our country of the dangerous infection spreading from the White House into our body politic. These are not normal times and our usual reflexes will no longer suffice.

Trump is a problem of our own creation. We must become the solution.

Ron Reagan is an author and political commentator who lives in Seattle and Arezzo, Tuscany.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-problem-isnt-just-trump-its-our-ignorant-electorate

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2Daf3yw via Viral News HQ

[samanthasroberts]

12 more things in Fallout 4 they don’t tell you, but advanced players need to know

More tips on how to survive in the radioactive wasteland, including how to fight Legendary enemies, hide goodies and carry more stuff

Fallout 4s rich and varied landscape is built for lackadaisical roaming the player characters nicknamed the Wanderer for a reason. The experience isnt about just racing through the main questline or finding the best gear, but assembling your own story from all of Bethesdas tiny interlocking parts.

The Commonwealth is a harsh mistress, however, so we could all use some help and none other than our grizzled survivor Corbyn has heeded your call. Weve already covered the 12 key tips for beginners, so now its time for some more advanced instruction. Lets really get those Super Mutants quaking in their boots.

1. VATS tricks

Fallout 4s Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System (VATS) mechanic slows time down to a crawl, and allows you to target specific body parts of enemies and displaying the chance of hitting them in a percentage. This is all many players use it for but there are several kinks to the way VATS operates that can make all the difference in a tight spot.

Our Fallout 4 character Corbyn is probably overdoing it by Crit-ing a bloodbug. Photograph: Bethesda

The obvious ones first: use VATS when your guns empty and, for the AP cost of that shot, youll get both the shot and a free reload. Critical hits build up over time in VATS and can then be stored until you want to use them yes these do great damage, but much more importantly theyre guaranteed to hit even if your normal shot only has a 1% chance. This is useful but in fights against enemies with specific weak points, such as the fusion core on power armour, save that Crit and zoom into VATS the second their model turns sideways 1% chance is all you need for the shot that ends the fight.

Crits are also useful for taking out the combat inhibitors on the back of mechanical enemies.

But it doesnt end there! One of the most useful functions of VATS is that your aim will be centred on any enemy you shot at after youve exited VATS. Think of this as at least one free shot and, thanks to the shonky enemy AI, usually many more if theyre still alive after using VATS, just spam that trigger.

2. Fraggle Rock!

Messed up that grenade toss? Always throwing it just a second too late as the Raiders scarper? Worry ye not my wasteland friend, for there are two magnificent tricks to frags that will turn your throwing arm into the envy of Shane Warne.

First one is obvious when you think about it: a well-placed bullet will prematurely detonate your grenade. Hit the VATS button as soon as you throw and youll find you can target the grenade, though depending on its location your shot chance will be different (this is another great opportunity for using the guarantee of a Crit.) And boom no more legs for your luckless foes.

As you can see, no enemies have yet noticed my explosive presence. Timing grenades is especially useful against crowds of weaker enemies.

The second trick, however, is even sneakier. A glitch in Fallout 4s way of slowing down game time during VATS means that, if your grenade has landed and you then target and shoot an enemy using VATS, the grenade will explode during the VATS shots. That is, you dont need to target the grenade at all if its in the right place, just target the enemy in VATS and it will explode near-instantaneously.

3. Getting legless

This one can be a lifesaver for when youre just out on a relaxing stroll and run into a randomly generated tough-as-nails Legendary enemy. Many of these enemies, after taking roughly half damage, will mutate into a tougher form and regain their lost health. What a joke.

This is how I like my Legendary enemies legless and toothless. Now cough up that loot! Photograph: Bethesda

The one thing that doesnt regenerate, however, is limb damage. When fighting Fallout 4s normal enemies you dont really need to target limbs so much so its easy to forget about this tactic, but it is absolutely the core part of my strategy against Legendaries. If its a Legendary Super Mutant, where were worried about their weapon, focus on the arms if they mutate, youve crippled the arm by that point and their accuracys dived. If its a Legendary Ghoul, blow off the legs, and then the mutated second stage can only look up in abject apology as you line up the combat shotgun.

4. Radical Stags

The greatest enemy in Fallout 4, the bane of every player, the most despicable sentence in the Commonwealth: Youre carrying too much and cant run!

God I hate it. There are several common workarounds: load up your companion, use the Solo Wanderer/Dogmeat glitch and so on. But when youre stuck in a lovely loot zone and just need that bit extra to get outdoors and fast-travel home, you want Grilled Radstag.

OK it doesnt LOOK very appetising, but when your other options are mole rats or Spam …

You see Radstags everywhere, usually in groups of two or three. Make a rule of slaughtering these defenceless creatures, and grilling them up at a cooking station because it adds +25 carry weight. Eat that and youll feel the benefit for an hour, but why not wash it down with a bottle of alcohol (+10 carry weight) and have an extra 35 on your weight limit. Because no trinket should be left behind.

5. Sleep well

What do you mean you never sleep? True, you dont really need to but occasionally a nice rest is just whats needed to heal up and see the sun again. One aspect of sleeping that is possible to overlook, however, is where the bed is.

If you really want to maximise XP gain, do this before handing in quests youve already completed. Photograph: Bethesda

Sleep in a bed that you own (in a settlement for example), or rent a room for the night and your character not only heals but gains a Well Rested bonus that gives 10% extra XP for eight in-game hours.

6. Sticky business

You could write a whole article about Fallout 4s crafting system, but one thing everyone needs more of is adhesive. Luckily theres a simple solution waiting in the cookery pot: have your settlements farm corn, mutfruit and tatos for subsistence. Perfectly respectable foods, but you can use these stores to pick the bottom option at a cooking stove and make Vegetable Starch each one worth a whopping five adhesive.

Vegetable starch goes into your junk inventory, so always remember to transfer it to storage before taking off.

7. Pick up named junk

This ones simple to the point of obvious: youll sometimes come across otherwise standard loot that has a modifier in the name, for example Rich Stantons beer. This means it is an exceptional beer for an exceptional man or, in other words, a key item for a quest you havent yet picked up. So pick it up and, down the road, youll be able to hand in that quest immediately.

The jazzy Hubris Comics office has plenty of interesting stuff, and make sure you take a close look at the props.

You may not actually make it through youor birthday if you eat this revolting morsel. However, it has a special name which means it could well be part of a later quest. Grab that sucker.

8. Hazmat and Hat

Two items of clothing I keep on me permanently are a Hazmat suit and a hat that grants +3 Charisma. The utility of the first is obvious: everywhere in Fallout 4 is more or less radioactive, and youll find some nasty spots. Its not convenient to fetch Power Armour for every little cubbyhole, so a Hazmat suit just always makes life easier.

Among the games weather effects are radiation storms which, if they catch you in the open, can be trouble but not with the humble Hazmat. Photograph: Bethesda

Hazmats are around theres one on sale in Diamond City but this is where I stumbled across mine relatively early on. Photograph: Bethesda

The hat I combine with some Grape Mentats (make at any cooking station) for when I need to sell a lot of gear or buy something big. Why not get your moneys worth?

9. Use it, dont lose it

Advice from bitter experience: dont just jump into the water willy nilly while wearing power armour. It sinks and, while most bodies of water in the game have a way out, some of them dont and youll have to abandon it there. Also, dont ever get rid of a companion wearing power armour by sending them back to a settlement my snazzy Flames set is still out there somewhere.

You can repair damaged power armour with steel but even without it the basic frame provides some protection and the suits usual abilities.

Finally, dont get out of it in a non-settlement area without removing the fusion core. Even if you cant see any enemies. Theres nothing so humiliating as getting out to stretch your legs, waking up a nest of raiders, and watching open-mouthed as they hijack your beautiful suit.

10. Mystery Meat

OK, I said I wouldnt be too specific but this is too good to pass up. On the far east of the Commonwealth (shown in the image) you can find Longneck Lukowskis cannery. On entering youll see a short exchange between two characters and can then offer to help with a pest problem in the building.

Looks delicious though, as ever in Bethesdas post-apocalyptic worlds, no-ones cleaned up for 200 years.

This kicks off a short-but-sweet mission, but the reason its great to visit here is that theres an office at the top of the building containing both the Barter bobblehead which permanently decreases buying prices by 5% and an issue of Tales of A Junktown Jerky Vendor, which applies its own discount depending on how many copies you have. Basically youre walking out of there after a 10-minute mission with everything in the Commonwealth 10% cheaper.

This is where youll find Longneck Lukowskis cannery, an essential visit for the savvy scavenger.

Bonus points: in the final confrontation, you can make your opponent surrender if you get them low enough, and make a very … interesting choice. Oh, and do apply the earlier tips about Legendaries and frags when youre exploring. Wouldnt want to end up in a can now, would we?

11. Give them a Minute, man

The Minutemen are rather worthy and dull sorts, all about helping out ones neighbour and looking out for each other. Blah blah blah, point me to the bad guys right?

Some people like Preston, but he constantly moans when youre hoovering up junk so I think hes a circle button. Photograph: Bethesda

The Castles replaced Sanctuary as my main settlement, because a half-destroyed castle looks cooler than half-destroyed bungalows.

Me too. But its worth zooming through the early Minutemen quests, which are all very easy, just to reach the point where you re-take a location called the Castle. First of all, when youre doing the quests beforehand, take Preston as your companion because completing each one depends on reporting back to him.

Take the Castle, go off and do something else, and soon enough someone will turn up looking for you. Go to see her and within 10 minutes youll bag a Fat Man portable nuke launcher, an absolute ton of ammo and a great armour set, and unlock artillery positions for every settlement.

12. And … smile

Though Ive loved much of my time with Fallout 4, it is a game filled with bugs and glitches that can on occasion really ruin your day. Ive lost hours of progress through annoying problems with the save system, seen my companions fly into the sky and disappear, even failed a mission because of an NPC that decided to walk to the bottom of a lake.

But its worth remembering that, for all the frustrations it brings, the janky side of Bethesda games can have real charm too. Use Corbyns tips wisely, comrades, and enjoy these dancing Mirelurks.

12 things in Fallout 4 they dont tell you but you really need to know

Fallout 4 review spectacular, messy and familiar

Fallout 4: the first 10 things to do in the apocalyptic wasteland

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/07/12-more-things-in-fallout-4-they-dont-tell-you-but-advanced-players-need-to-know/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/07/12-more-things-in-fallout-4-they-dont-tell-you-but-advanced-players-need-to-know/

[elliotthezubat]

DEATH CITY DAYS CHAPTER 78

from perfect crimes to trips oversees

[[cont from part 77]]

-elsewhere- Stein: <--and we're doing additional follow-ups.> *adjusts his tie* <We will send you more information once forensics finishes, Inspector.> inspector: <thank you, doctor.> soul: ... Stein: *nods* "Come along. We got to get something to eat..." -elsewhere- Kepuri: *collapses onto bed* T~T akaderu:....*lazy hug* rough day? Kepuri: *nod nod* "Just...can you hold me?" akaderu: can do, babe....*kisses her neck* Kepuri: "Ah~" =\\\\\\= " *cuddles* akaderu: feel good? Kepuri: "Getting better..." *cheek smooch, hug* akaderu: *kiss* Kepuri: "Mmm..." *leans her chest against him* akaderu:....*smirks and slides his hand down her....* Kepuri: "!!!" *shivers* "Oh, is that how--ah!--it-it is~?" akaderu: you tell me...*rub rub* Kepuri: "Ah!" >\\\\O "D-Don't stop...R-Right there~" *reaches his neck--licks* akaderu: ngh....you like that? *rubs the bud* Kepuri: *biting her lip...arches her back* "M-More..." akaderu: *slides his fingers in as he bites her ear* Kepuri: "Aa-ah! Fuuuuuck..." *grabs onto him, thrusting slightly* "Faster--harder." akaderu: god, you feel good.... *pumping harder* Kepuri: *puts a hand over her mouth, struggling to contain herself* "Mmmm!" *she's so wet already--* akaderu: *kisses her, rubbing her breast with one hand and fingering hard with the other* Kepuri: O\\\\\\\O *moans loudly before* "AAAAAH!" >\\\\\< *she climaxes, her back arching as she squirts* akaderu: ah....damn...*pulls out, sticking the finger into her mouth* Kepuri: *stares at him* .\\\\\. "Th-Thanks..." *takes his hand, kisses* "You're s-s-so fucking hot..." akaderu:....round 2? Kepuri: "..." *lifts her shirt up and tosses it, pulls down her shorts until she's naked* "Payback~?" akaderu:..... .//////. hell yes. -morning- Steinbeck: "--and no pausing for 'bird watching.' Got it?" twain: yes sir. .w.; Steinbeck: *sigh* "Baum, get us going." baum: *driving* Steinbeck: "..." *glances at Baum* "You sure you got this?" baum: of course. ^^ Steinbeck: "I just mean...you drive much?” baum: sometimes. i've only been in two accidents....that other people have caused. =_=# Steinbeck: "...Sorry." baum: but i survived. isnt that right dorothy~? ^^ dorothy: =A=; baum: ^u^ Steinbeck: "???" -elsewhere- Arthur: *sorting a box* tamaki: ?? Arthur: *pulls out a hobby horse* "..." tamaki: cute... Arthur: "From my dad." tamaki: oh...i've never met him. Arthur: "He's abroad with Mother." tamaki: oh, where are they? Arthur: "He's abroad with Mother." tamaki: oh, where are they? Arthur: *nods* "It's good of them to do so." tamaki:....*small hug* Arthur: "??? What's that for?" tamaki: just....love ya... Arthur: "..." *forehead smooch* "Love you, too." -elsewhere- izumo:....*looking at a photo* Rin: *rambling* >3< "--and then he says I don't take things seriously! Siblings can just be such a pain sometimes..." izumo: ...... shut up. Rin: "??? Oh, sorry--you were thinking about something--" izumo: be glad he's alive and ok. dont take your brother for granted. Rin: "??? Where'd that come from? I mean, Yukio's fine...right? Did he tell you something?" izumo:..n-nevermind... *takes the photo and walks off* shiemi:... konekomaru: do you think she's alright? Rin: "I don't know...What you know about Izumo?" shiemi: not much... Bon: "Her tamer training was obviously hardcore." shiemi: ._.; *gulp* nee: niii..... Shima: "She's probably just being emotional--" -punch- stocking: pay attention you. Shima: *head stuck in the table* Bon + Rin: ._.;;; konekomaru: i-im sure he's fine....maybe.... ._.; takara's puppet: he's just a moron. -elsewhere- Yohei: "Only a little while before Big Man here [Toru] is off at preschool." *picks him up* toru: ^o^ chie: *smiles* Yohei: "Hee hee..." *sets Toru in his bouncy* "...What you think he'll be when he grows up?" chie: he's got a lot of possibilities ahead of him. Yohei: "True..." *pushes bouncy lightly* toru: *laughs* chie: aw, you a happy baby? toru: babu! Yohei: "Hee hee...You smiling at Mommy, Toru?" -elsewhere- Hyde: "Thank you for your business." *hands the change* -break time- Hyde: *grabs a bag of chips and a soda* ochako: so, you really know licht todoroki? Hyde: "Yeppers. And he's as much of a meanie as you've heard." ochako: i havent heard that part. say...he's not related to shouto todoroki, is he? *Bell rings, as the door opens, with someone entering* Hyde: "Don't think so. I mean, Licht is as cold as Shouto..." ochako: but shouto does have a warm side, once you get to know him more. ^^ Hyde: "...I saw it. He nearly fried Midoriya to a crisp." *Aoyama has entered--and sneaks up to the counter* ochako: t-thats not what i meant. i think, shouto is actually pretty nice under that cold exterior. *small smile* Hyde: "If you say so. But I think--" Aoyama: *pushing Hyde's face away* "Bonjour." Hyde: *smushed face* "?!!!" ochako: O-O; aoyama! what the hey?! Aoyama: "So sorry. You are on your break, yes?" ochako: actually i was just getting back to work, nice chat. *exits* Hyde: *muffled voice* "MOVE YOUR HAND, YOU FAKE-FRENCH JERK!" Aoyama: "Moi? I am as French as escargot, Jerry Lewis, and mimes." Hyde: "...Your accent is totally off, and you butcher the language--" Aoyama: *deadly serious without an accent* "WATCH. IT." Hyde: .________.;;;;; -elsewhere- Mikuni: -_-; "Johannes is getting on my last nerve..." metsu: what did he do this time? Mikuni: "He's being very curt." >3< "I asked him a question, and he nearly bit my head off." metsu: shall i speak with him? Mikuni: "Please do. I have important work to do." *brushing Abel's hair* metsu: *heads down to where johannes' office is* *Muttering is heard inside* metsu: *listening* Johannes: "--then the solution is...get the three...find him before...need to--" metsu: ?? Johannes: "...Just a matter of time. Then we'll take care of all of them, neutralize threats--and maybe find--" *his voice is unintelligible* metsu:..... -knock knock- Johannes: *non-Johannes-esque* "What?!" metsu: !!!... d-doctor? Johannes: "...What is it?" metsu: are you...alright? Johannes: "...Fine. Busy." metsu: ....are you su- Johannes: "Sure. Certain. Fine. Good. Goodbye." metsu:......... Johannes: *has a bulletin board--with seven photos and strings going to one photo* -it's collected photos of the servamps...- Johannes: *taps the photo of Mr. Tsubaki* "Just got to ask one more person...and that key will unlock..." *pauses--the grimaces and holds his head* "Oh, darn it! I forgot his name again!" -there is another photo.....of a younger johannes and a slightly older girl- Johannes: *tearing at his hair--before looking at that photo* "..." *sniff* -elsewhere- otogiri: ........ Sakuya: "...Otogiri? Hello?" otogiri: !! the door's open. Sakuya: *pokes his head in* "Yo. Tsubaki's got some cookies done." otogiri: thank you. Sakuya: "...Feeling alright?" otogiri:...yes... Sakuya: "...Want me to bring them to you?" otogiri: i would appreciate that. Sakuya: *nods, exits* otogiri:.....*sigh* <damn...> {???: <Put on a smile!> :D } {####: *griiiiins* } {????: <alright, now say 'cheese!'>} otogiri:...... Sakuya: *in the kitchen, whispers* "I think she's upset..." belkia: i didnt do anything this time! Sakuya: ._. "...Not implying you did. She's not 'angry' upset. She's...sad?" belkia:...oh..... naho:..... *idea* hey tsubaki, we should give her a girl's night out! tsubaki: oh? Sakuya: "Sounds good--give her some time to kick back." Belkia: *whispers to Sakuya* "Like mani-pedis, gentlemen's clubs, and robbing banks?" Sakuya: -_-# naho: it's gonna be awesome! we can check out chibuya crossing too! Sakuya: "Maybe ask her when she steps out?" naho: *nod nod* Sakuya: "And we'll need a babysitter for some of the most difficult boys--" Belkia: D:< -elsewhere- Gopher: *tapping game controller buttons* kotone: .... Gopher: "..." *holds up the controller* "Want to?" kotone:...how do i....? Gopher: "Well, if you push the right pad it'll move your character right...and if you push the A button, your character jumps." kotone: *testing it* oh. *shiny eyes* Gopher: *smiles* "Try the B button to push the blocks..." -morning- Black Star: "Figure out your itinerary for the night out?" naho: yep. chibuya crossing is a must. then we're probably going to check out a few cafes and shops nearby. then we're gonna take photos at yamashita park, then we're gonna check out the ferris wheel. Black Star: "Nice!" -elsewhere- Hemingway: *asleep in a makeshift hammock tied to two trees* emily: .... Hemingway: *yawns, sits up* "...Miss Emily?" emily: yeah? Hemingway: "You feeling okay?" emily: yeah...just uncomfortable. ^-^; Hemingway: "??? Did I do something wrong?" emily: o-oh its nothing you did. it's just i cant sleep on the dirt like this. im uncomfortable _physically_ ^^;; Hemingway: "Darn...You didn't pack a sleeping bag?" emily: i mean i did, but im not sure if i can be comfortable on the ground.....where there are bugs....and snakes..... ._.;;; Hemingway: "...Well, I don't pay no mind to that. Want to switch?" emily: are you sure about that? Hemingway: "Fine by me." *gets out of the hammock* "Can't have you worrying about the ground." emily:...thanks.... -elsewhere- Mori: "Zzz..." fukuzawa: *making breakfast* {Rintarou: *pouts* "Daddy won't be here for breakfast?"} {tomoe:.......*she doesnt even look at him*} {Rintarou: "..." *silently scoops up cereal in a spoon, eats the soggy mess*} Mori: *sniffs...smells food cooking* *lifts his head* "M-Mom?" fukuzawa: *didnt hear him* Mori: "...Oh..." *gets out of bed...walks outside* "...Food?" fukuzawa: good morning. ranpo: yo. Mori: "...May I have some?" fukuzawa: *already has a plate set up* Mori: "...Thanks." *sits next to Ranpo* ranpo:. *nom nom* Mori: "I never got to eat breakfast with him much..." ranpo: ?? Mori: "Value the time you get to have breakfast with you father, detective man-child." ranpo: ...yeah.. *sad nom* -elsewhere- lana: edgar?....edgaaar. *pokes his cheek* Poe: *whimper, kitten paws in the air* "Five more minutes..." lana: *rolls eyes with a smile and brushes his hair back, kissing his forehead* Poe: *yawns, opens his eyes* "..." .\\\. "...Hello." lana: morning. you got a busy day ahead of you. Poe: "...!!! Oh, you're right!" *scrambles* "I have to sign the check..." lana: *smiles* -elsewhere- nurse: mr kunikida? Kunikida: *whimpering* nurse:...mr kunikida? you have a visitor. -there is a person in a bear suit- Kunikida: Q_Q "...I'm still hallucinating..." -the bear takes its head off, revealing...- ranpo: jeez kunikida, you look like shit. Kunikida: "!!!" "Ranpo? What the devil are you doing? Why are you in a bear suit?” ranpo: still being punished for disobeying orders and fighting the mafia. ...so you got transferred into psychiatric, huh? Kunikida: "..." *nods* ranpo: ...you know you're not at fault, here. the rats are the ones who set you up to take the fall. i know it's been over a month, but we're doing all we can to prove you innocent. Kunikida: "Not fast enough..." ranpo:....we're gonna get you out soon. i promise. Kunikida: "...Ranpo...He's already killed. Again." ranpo:....then lets make sure he doesnt kill anyone else. -later- karl: *chitter* Poe: *holding an envelope* =w= ranpo: ooooi. poe. whats up? *waving* Poe: "Eep! R-R-Ranpo? What are you doing here?" ranpo: business stuff. wanna come with? Poe: OwO "Are we going to solve a mystery?" ranpo: oh you bet your sweet bippins we are. -and so- Poe: " 'Cleaner'? Evidence tampering?" ranpo: yeah. one of dostoyevsky's best recruits. an expert at manipulating information. that fake police data was also masterminded by him. i wont fall for the same trick twice. Poe: *nods* "...But what if they change the narrative? And do you even know what this person looks like?" ranpo: just his face....looks kinda slimy, but like a fancy slimy, y'know? Poe: "...Like a slug in a nice suit?" ranpo: sure, lets go with that. Poe: *pulls out an old-fashion pocket watch* "Yet the time has passed and no sign of your suspect..." ranpo: .....so atsushi told me your sister told him you're reading this mystery novel. Poe: .w. "IT'S THE MOST AMAZING MYSTERY NOVEL I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE--" ranpo: hey, did you know there was a pizza place across the street from here? ....sorry, got distracted, you were saying? Poe: *wicked smile* "Oh, but you are missing what truly makes this mystery story simply delicious..." ranpo: ? Poe: "The author...was murdered." ranpo: !! Poe: "...by the same method he wrote in his book." ranpo: ...bruh. Poe: "Three chapters were serialized. After he wrote the final chapter's manuscript, he died--but the killer stole the chapter from the crime scene. I anticipate the final chapter truly reveals how the author was killed--" *tears up* "BUT IT'S SO CHALLENGING!" ranpo:...you got a lot of free time, dont you? Poe: *nod nod nod* "It helps with writing." *weak smile* ranpo: can i see? Poe: *pulls out the magazine* "Here you go." ranpo: ......i think i know who did it. Poe: D: "ALREADY?!" ranpo: yeah. our killer has two motives. money and resentment. our culprit knew the 4th chapter's contents before it was released, meaning they must have been close with the writer. they waited for it to be finished, and with the chapter finished, it would fetch a hefty price. Poe: "B-But how would the killer know the chapter will sell?" ranpo: because they already sold it to someone. Poe: "Who?" ranpo: *points to...* you. Poe: "Karl, please." ranpo: you brought an animal into the building, one that isnt a typical service animal. a unique factor like that implies you werent acquainted with the seller. also a few days ago you mentioned winning something at an auction right? Poe: "Stop...Okay. I wanted to solve this mystery first--and if the police bought the manuscript, they would have figured it out first." ranpo: well, since we already figured it out, why not give it to the police, im sure you'll be given a great reward for it. Poe: *sighs* "I suppose so. After all, it only cost 175 thousand." ranpo:...................................................................................................... ???: brother! ranpo: ?? *turns to see…* -rowena is there with another girl.- Poe: "Oh, hello!" *waves* girl: .... rowena: what brings you two here? ranpo: business stuff. you? rowena: official mystery and occult club business. ^^ Poe: "Ah. Who is this?" rowena: oh! she's one of the new members of the club. *smiles at her* go on, say hello. ^^ girl:.................alice arisugawa. hi. -cold awkward silence- Poe: "...Oh. That's a unique name." arisugawa:......thanks. ranpo: ... soooo, what brings you guys here? rowena: ufufu..well, you see....there's been reports of a shadowy cryptid in the area!! <3 Poe: "??? Really? Does it have a size, shape, or distinctive odor?" rowena: that's the thing, it seems to have changed its appearance depending on who's seen it. some say it was a stag, others say it was a large dog. how fascinating! Poe: "??? Really? Does it have a size, shape, or distinctive odor?" rowena: that's the thing, it seems to have changed its appearance depending on who's seen it. some say it was a stag, others say it was a large dog. how fascinating! ranpo: (she gets all excited over paranormal stuff just like poe gets all excited over mysteries. i guess the apple doesnt fall too far away from the other apples.) arisugawa:....what are you here for? ranpo: *looks at poe* Poe: "Solving a mystery." arisugawa:....what kind? Poe: "Oh! Well, it involves murder--" ranpo: and we're looking for an envelope. arisugawa: might we help? Poe: *shiny eyes* "Ranpo? My sister and I are excellent at this line of work..." ranpo: alright. arisugawa: then....i will....use it..... Poe: owo;;; " 'It'? L-Like the clown?" arisugawa: *undoes her neck ribbon and ties her hair up into a ponytail. she then removes her eyepatch to reveal....a silver eye* *dramatic hand pose* the mysteries unsolved by my silver eye are next to none. ranpo:... rowena:... ranpo + rowena: OwO;; (she's a chuunibyou...) arisugawa:...*glance* the envelope thou seeks out, tis by window yonder. ranpo: ?? oh, sweet. -ranpo takes the envelope....there is an arrow on the window pointing up- rowena: ?? *she looks up....* !!!!!!! *A body is seen outside...falling...* ranpo: !!!! (that's-) -crunch- -screams are heard- Poe: ._____. "...That was the person in the photo." -and so- lydia: *observing the scene from a rooftop* Ivan: <Status report.> lydia: <the detective is investigating now.> Ivan: <Oh? You are monitoring him?> lydia: <yes. here's hoping oguri doesnt fuck this up.> Ivan: <Have some faith in him. Besides, we have our contingency...> lydia: hmm.... Ivan: <Would you like me to send backup?> lydia: <not just yet...> Ivan: <Then proceed.> -back on the ground- ranpo: *examining* oguri: *in the crowd* ... *griiiin* (all according to plan.) -ghost like creatures appear around him- oguri: (alright mr detective. bear witness to the ability even feared by the northen demon. PERFECT CRIME!) -the entities spread out, devouring evidence, but no one seems to bear notice to them.- Poe: "Instant death...Tragic." rowena: .... ranpo:.................................... Poe: "With this, you lost the person to clear your colleague?" ranpo: *still examining....hands shaking* officer: sir, please let the detective work. -_-; Poe: Q_Q "Sorry..." ranpo:..............dont know...... Poe: "Well...I mean, maybe he was suicide, or the Rats got to them?" oguri: *griiiin* (MUSHISHISHISHISHI~ you wont ever catch me, mr detective~! the ethereal gate is closed and will not open! i am the absolute detective killer! the false charges wont be cleared! and you wont ever find out.....) ranpo: *looks at them, with a look of utter despair* Poe: Q~Q "C-Come on, Ranpo! Let's look at the evidence..." *picks up the victim's shoe* "Maybe this has something?" ranpo: no..nononononono.... oguri: (and you wont ever find out.....why dostoyevsky let himself be caught on purpose!) {-two months ago-} {oguri: *in a cell*........ ?? } {???: "A pleasure to meet you."} {oguri: ??? w-who are you? how did you get past-.... !!!! } {-the two guards lay dead on the floor-} {oguri: w-w-what the hell did you do?! s-stay back!} {???: "I'm sorry for this inconvenience--but I came to free you."} {oguri: .....} {???: "Such untapped potential...confined by four walls. But freedom has a price."} {oguri:.....what do you want?} {???: "I want you to use your ability for a task I have."} {oguri:.....very well. but i have a list of conditions.} {???: "Oh?"} {oguri: i wont be on the front lines, i will only be using my ability. also i will need a bookshelf, preferably with books on the occult and ancient alchemy. also i will need 20 medium sized chest binders, 35 bottles of hair mousse, purple satin bedsheets, and a phonograph. also all communication will be done via text messages, i hate phone calls, they're too noisy. my room will be an elegant european styled room with armoire and walk in closet. tablewear will be either silver or white china and all my clothes will be starched.} {???: "..." “Very well. Anything else?"} {oguri: when this is all done, you'll help me escape the country. but it _MUST_ be at the very least, a month or so.} {???: "Why not the same day?"} {oguri: there is something that i need to do. there is someone whom i need to kill...} -...- oguri:............. *walking away* arisugawa: ??....*walks over to ranpo, trying to talk to him* ranpo: ....... Poe: Q~Q "He's so quiet..." rowena: do you think he's alright? Poe: "Ranpo prides himself as a master detective. If he cannot solve this crime, I am afraid it will shake him to his very core..." ranpo:...im tired, im gonna go home. rowena: e-eh?? arisugawa:... Poe: "R-Ranpo? Do you want us to walk with you?" ranpo: im good....im gonna sleep it off.... rowena:............ arisugawa: fret not, mr poe. i feel things will turn out alright....my silver eye has forseen so. Poe: "I sure hope so..." -in the alley- oguri: *giggles* (I AN INVINCIBLE! AGAIN! WEEP WITH DESPAIR, DETECTIVES! YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT THE KING OF CRIME! I WILL-) ???: "Hola." oguri: *SCREEEEEEEAM* *covers his mouth* QxQ (OH GOD THAT WAS SO HIGH PITCHED IT WAS DISGUSTING!) Ranpo: "??? Hey, not to bother you or anything, but you know where the taxi stand is?" oguri: *cough cough AHEM* um... well. (keep it together, oguri. he didnt see you, it's a coincidence! that's right, a coincidence!) sorry, but im afraid i cant help you there. Ranpo: "...Boo. I'll just wait here." oguri:..... *sweats* (FUUUUUUUCK HE'S GOING TO SEE THE EXTRACTOR'S VEHICLE! THINK OGURI, THINK!) well, there is a subway station not far from here. i can show you a map if you'd like- Ranpo: "BUT WALKING IS SOOOOOOOO ANNOYING!" >3< oguri: ^-^# well, maybe try taking the bus- Ranpo: "BUSES ARE ANNOYING, TOO! LIKE, HOW DO YOU PAY?! WHO CARRIES CRISP SINGLE DOLLAR BILLS UNLESS IT'S FOR THE SNACK MACHINE?!" oguri: ... (how does this man even function?) Ranpo: "Usually, someone from work picks me up, but one's in jail, another's probably drowning in the river, another doesn't have a license--" oguri: *INTERNALLY SCREAMING* Ranpo: *light bulb* "I know! Since walking is annoying, I'll just ride on your back home!" oguri: I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! AND HOW CAN YOU ASK SOMETHING SO ASANINE FROM A COMPLETE STRANGER?!?! Ranpo: "??? But I make my subordinates do that all the time for me?" oguri: ...................................... (WHAT) *A car is heard pulling up* oguri: TTvTT (OH THANK FUCK) well, my ride is here. so i must cut the conversation short. cheers~ Driver: "I am sorry for the delay, sir." oguri: to my stop please. (this will drive me to city outskirts, then i'll hop a truck all the way to california, and i'll be out scott fr-) Ranpo: *already in the back seat, arms crossed* "..." oguri: (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!) GET OUT! THIS IS A PRIVATE VEHICLE! Ranpo: "It's hot in here--turn up the A/C!" Driver: "Very good, sir." *does so as he starts driving* oguri: IT'S THE MIDDLE OF WINTER! D8< Ranpo: "Well, I need the cool breeze to go with the snacks in this fancy vehicle's snack bar." *pulls out a bag of chips* "Want some? They're nacho." oguri: NO! *glances up in front* Ranpo: "I really need to thank you." oguri: ?? for what? Ranpo: "For this ride in your motor vehicle! One day, I shall repay you. When you end up unemployed, destitute, homeless, and starving, I'll get you hired at the Agency!" oguri: *vein-pop* (why you little-)..... ^^# so, what brings you to the observation tower then? Ranpo: "Sleuthing." oguri: oh? are you in a school detective club then? Ranpo: "Nah, I'm trying to exonerate one of my coworkers. The one in prison who usually picks me up in the company car." oguri:.......i...see..... Ranpo: "Yeah, really bloody, too. Someone fell from the roof, and they murdered someone, and they probably were involved in framing my friend--" oguri: gross. im not really a fan of murder mysteries. i prefer more occultic writings to be frank. Ranpo: *opens bag of chips* "Yeah, mystery stories are so easy to solve. But this one puzzles me." oguri: oh? Ranpo: "I noticed the victim's shoes were too big for them--which means the murderer swapped shoes with them--" oguri: OwO;;; <w<;;;;;; Ranpo: "And that was one trick the suspect used--because they had to make the case just that more difficult, in addition to their reality-warping ability--" oguri: oh? an interesting theory. Ranpo: "Those reality-warpers can defy, well, reality, so my deductions aren't going to compete against them." oguri: (no shit.) Ranpo: "Good thing I solved it." *munches on a chip* oguri: ??!! wait what? Ranpo: "Exciting, huh? Well, as an additional thank you, not only will get your poor self a job, I'll tell you how I solved it! The key was the red envelope." oguri: !! Ranpo: "The 'cleaner' got information from some rats about ability users like my friend Poe, enticing him to seek the manuscript. When he grabbed the enveloped, the scapegoat was timed to fall." oguri: .... Ranpo: "And how did the cleaner get that envelope--with a manuscript in it? Easy: the cleaner killed the author and stole it from him." oguri: *his stomach drops* -meanwhile- yana:.......*walking back to the alley* .......... rowena:....find anything yet, brother? Poe: *shakes his head* "I've been reading as fast as I can with nothing..." *takes the last page--* "!!!" rowena: ??.... !!! arisugawa:....look at the quality of the paper. it was photocopied... Poe: "Yes...with a...spot of water?" rowena: but why photocopy the last pa- -CAW CAW! CAW CAW!- arisugawa: O-O rowena: o.o Poe: "EEEP!" *grabs his phone* arisugawa: that was his phone? rowena: oh, i see you got a ringtone now. ^^ Poe: "Y-Yes...Just surprised by the sound...and anyone contacting me?" *pulls up the message* yana:...... *walking away* ???: "Yana?" yana: !!!.... Anya: "...Is that you?" yana:...*sprints* Anya: "Come back!" *runs* -elsewhere- oguri: you're saying kindaichi's murderer and the cleaner are the same person? what proof do you have? Ranpo: "..." *reaches into his pocket--and opens up a sheet of paper to show--* oguri: !!!!!! Ranpo: *smirks* "Familiar?" oguri: b-but...but how- Ranpo: "I found it folded up and hidden in the flower shop. Trippy, yes?" oguri: .....*shaking* Ranpo: "Yet you'll notice this page is photocopied. And--well, I won't bore you with the details, but I determined the photocopy was the same paper in texture as used in the office supply shop next door." oguri: tch- that's stupid! why only photocopy one page? Ranpo: *smiles* "Why, indeed. Tell me, what was your name?" oguri: !!! i-i dont have to answer you! Ranpo: "??? Then how am I supposed to name the culprit in both the theft and the murder?" oguri: !!!!!!!! -the car screeches to a halt- *A gun is pointed at Ranpo's head* oguri: NOT IN THE CAR! Driver: "Cannot have the 'luggage' making a mess." *aims at Ranpo* "Out." Ranpo: "..." *smiles* "Well, that's all I needed." officer: PUT THE GUN DOWN! oguri: !!!!!!!! h-how- ???: "Ranpo! I did what you asked!" oguri: !!!!!! motherfucker... minoura: edogawa, get out of the car, these two are under arrest. Driver: "...Just try." *opens his wallet, showing a badge* oguri:...*grins* Driver: "I am Russian diplomatic staff." minoura: damn. rowena: you're not really going to let them go, are you?? Poe: "Diplomacy does not excuse attempted murder!" rowena: exactly! Driver: "..." *smirks, opens his gun to reveal--* "No bullets." rowena: !! Driver: "We'll drive off, then..." Ranpo: "...Dostoyevsky's plan, I'm sure." oguri: we bid you adieu..........*text message* ??....... -a light shines- oguri: w-what the- ???: "As I said, against a reality-warper, I'm hardly a challenge..." oguri: (w-what? where.....is this....i cant....i cant breathe...) ???: "How could you?!" oguri: !!!! (y-yoko....mizo?) Yokomizo: "How could you kill me?! You bastard!" oguri: y-yokomizo i swear its not like that!! Yokomizo: *grips tighter around Oguri's neck* "MURDERER!" oguri: YOKOMIZO STOP IT PLEASE! Yokomizo: "YOU KILLED ME!" oguri: I ONLY DID WHAT YOU ASKED ME TO! *he's crying* ???: "Exactly." oguri: ??!! w-wha-.... *Snap...and Oguri is watching...himself?* oguri?: *strangling yokomizo* oguri:...this is.....that former guild member's ability...poe...right? Ranpo: *behind Oguri* *nods* " 'I only did what you asked me to'...I knew the how, but not the why..." oguri:............ like you'd understand. Ranpo: "I think I already do...The key is that you put off your escape. A week? Or a month later? Who would wait after killing someone?" oguri: ....what are you getting at? Ranpo: "You're either crazy...or you felt obligated." oguri:.... {oguri: hey yokomizo, which is a better method? stabbing? strangulation? poison? blunt force trauma?} {Yokomizo: "Hmmm...Stabbing. Can't expect the audience to know the chemical composition to poisons."} {oguri: *pout* laaame. so who told you about your latest story, the murder one?} {Yokomizo: "My, my, that wounds me~...Tell me about the murder. I need an idea for writing--deadline's coming."} {oguri: -.-; that again? *wraps arms around his waist* mystery novels are bound by internal rules. the dying message trick in a locked room? it's old as dirt. if you want a puzzle solve it with a numerical formula, dummy. =3=} {Yokomizo: "..." *smiles* "You never change."} {oguri: *pouts* here's an idea. the police detective in reality switches places with the detective in the novel? the real life detective cant keep up with novel logic, and the novel detective is paralyzed by the real life case!} {Yokomizo: "It exists. It's called 'meta.'"} {oguri:..................... w-well then how about this! the detective and criminal battle it out, and the criminal has killed using magic, and the detective in turn uses magic to find the solution! there's no way that's commonplace!} {Yokomizo: "It's called 'Anti-Mystery.'"} {oguri:......uuuugh, then make a mystery about a poisonous insect! >n<# } {Yokomizo: *laughs...then gets quiet* "...It's hard not to get pigeonholed into some subgenre..."} {oguri:....yokomizo...} {Yokomizo: "Heh heh...Nevermind. Just thinking aloud, since I'm so happy you're here..."} {oguri:....*blush* tch-, still the same as when we were students....} {Yokomizo: =w= "You're one to talk~"} {oguri: =///n///= i could kill you, jerk.} oguri: right...i....i killed him...im a sick, twisted murderer. there, i confessed, alright??! Ranpo: "...No. You lied." oguri: ?! Ranpo: "First, if you had given the true solution, we wouldn't still be stuck here. Second...'sick'? 'Twisted'?" *yawns* "That's so cliche that the author might as well have been writing it off as just a joke...Because that's what they wrote: a farce. And a farce in which they were...the murder victim." oguri: .......... Ranpo: "...He killed himself." oguri:.................... {oguri: a-a year?} {Yokomizo: *nods* "So, I have a lot of work ahead of me." *weak smile*} {oguri: ............i-isnt there a surgery you can get? anything?} {Yokomizo: *small laugh* "Yes, of course...I consider all 'mysteries' from all angles, don't I?" *frowns* "There are no other solutions."} {oguri: ...........} {Yokomizo: "So, that leaves getting everything in order--including writing my ultimate mystery."} {oguri:....heh, even when you're dying, you're still on about your mysteries, huh?} {Yokomizo: *smiles...* "...I have the last one planned out. You know, except for the final key."} {oguri: and what is that?} {Yokomizo: "The criminal. And it has to be one who cannot be discerned halfway into the story..."} {oguri: ......who did you have in mind?} {Yokomizo: "...A friend."} {oguri: ......} oguri: ha...HAHAHAHHAHA.....alright! i was the one to play the murderer! of course i agreed! kill the man who annoyed me to the core _and_ get paid for it? why would i ever pass that up?! Ranpo: "Then why did you hide the manuscript?" oguri: eh- Ranpo: "See the water drop that smudges the ink? Well, when you write with quick-drying ink, like a professional would, no water drops. Therefore, the drops must have been long after the writing was finished...such as when the killer departed with the manuscript...and the last page would have been at the top of the stack of pages..." oguri: shut up. Ranpo: "When the murderer and the murdered are in cohoots, is that 'the ultimate mystery'? Hardly. You swapped the photocopy so that no one would analyze the water and determine that it was..” {oguri: *strangling yokomizo...tears falling* y-you're an idiot, yokomizo. y-you're the stupidest idiot i-i've ever met in my life!} {Yokomizo: *coughing* "J-just l-Like when we were s-st-students..."} {oguri: s-shut up....at least....tell me one thing....w-what is it you see...when you look at me?} {Yokomizo: *gasping...shuddering* "What I see is...the man I love..."} {oguri:.....*bites his lip, shutting eyes tightly* i love you too....} oguri:........................*eyes wide, tears falling* Ranpo: "I think we have an understanding...You know I could destroy your beloved's final mystery. And I want my friend back." oguri:....there's....no proof..... Ranpo: "There's circumstantial evidence--enough to poke enough holes in the accepted story, start up gossip, and turn this perfect mystery into nothing more than a second-rate dime-store novel." oguri: y...you wouldnt....... Ranpo: *opens his eyes* "I told you...I want my friend back. And there is something I've learned from this experience, from facing a madman like Dostoyevsky..." *sneers* "If I have to become a demon to make sure no one is ever hurt by Dostoyevsky or another of you rotten rodents, I'll gladly do it." oguri: *trembling* no........ -a shadow of dostoyevsky appears in place of ranpo- oguri: .....*terrified* Ranpo: "SURRENDER! Or I will publicly announce Yokomizo's farce and destroy his legacy!" oguri: ALRIGHT!!! *tears falling* alright...as...as much as i wanted to hate him....i loved yokomizo more than anyone...i'll turn myself in..... Ranpo: "..." *A hand touches Oguri's head* ???: "Bring back the evidence. Exonerate him. Now." oguri: ..................... -he looks up and sees....- "Dostoyevsky*: "..." *smiles* oguri:........... -and so- oguri:....*in the cop car* Poe: "So...What did the cops find?" rowena: apparently the agency's grenades were stolen during shipping. Poe: "!!! Then that should help in the case for Kunikida?" rowena: it should. *smiles* alice, we're glad you noticed that man walking off. arisugawa:....just thought......he was suspicious.... -cold silence- Poe: ._. "..." *looks around* Ranpo: "..." *approaches Oguri* oguri: ...............................................*glances up*....what do you want now? Ranpo: "I'm just tossing something I don't need--" *it's a business card* oguri:....whats this for? Ranpo: "I was bored and was researching secret organizations that could use someone to help them keep their cover." oguri: .... why give this to me? Ranpo: "Help them. The investigator recruits newcomers for Abilities Services--and if they learned the strength of your ability, they'd walk through Hell to recruit you." *turns and starts walking* "I said I'd get you a job..." oguri: ........thank you..... {-some years ago, at a junior high school-} {-a girl with dark hair is eating by herself on the roof-} {student: isnt that mushimi oguri? from class C?} {Student 2: "What 'bout them?"} {student: she never really talks to people, does she?} {mushimi: ......} {student 3: yeah, she acts like a jerk to everyone who talks to her. what a freak. lol} {???: "Excuse me."} {mushimi:...*glances up*} {???: "Is this seat taken?"} {mushimi: why do _you_ care?} {???: "I thought it's best to be polite and ask first--" *sits down* "--before taking action that could make others uncomfortable."} {mushimi: !!! *she glares* i didnt say you could sit here. get lost.} {???: "Too bad. I asked, you didn't give an answer--" *shimmies in the seat* "--and I'm comfortable now. Weird how people get comfortable in one spot, isn't it?" *smiles*} {mushimi: didnt you hear me? i said get lost!} {???: "Nope." ^^} {mushimi: ?! what are you, an idiot? *she gets up* i've just lost my appetite. thanks for nothing.} {-for weeks, you kept trying to talk to me. it never got to anything perverted, mind. but you were persistent in trying to know me...-} {mushimi: what's even your deal? why do you follow me around like a duckling? dont you have anything better to do with your life?} {???: "I wanted to get to know you."} {mushimi: tch-, thats a riot. trying to know a girl like me? who has no friends or social life? who's not even in any clubs or the like. a complete social outcast. do you really want to know someone like that?} {???: "Yes. I don't get to talk to many people..." *holds his notebook close to him*} {mushimi: ? what's that?} {???: .\\\. "...My writing?"} {mushimi: is it for an assignment?} {???: "Just...for free time." *hugs the notebook closer*} {mushimi: ....i see....} {-i remember thinking, i dont understand this boy at all...even when others would ruin my desk, throw things at me, shove me, you still stayed by my side...you even let them beat you up-} {mushimi: i dont....i dont get it.....why would you do that?} {???: *coughs, spits up blood* "...Because someone should...Because I wanted to..."} {mushimi: YOU'RE AN IDIOT, YOKOMIZO! YOU'RE THE STUPIDEST IDIOT I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE! *she's crying* i cant understand you at all! why would you throw your life on the line for me?!} {Yokomizo: "..." *hug*} {mushimi: ???!!!!! w-w-what-} {Yokomizo: "I didn't...want you hurt." *sniff* "I'm sorry...I just..."} {mushimi:....why? why do you persist so much with me? after all the times i insulted you and said i hated you, you never leave....i dont understand...} {Yokomizo: "...Love makes people act in unexpected ways...That is one of life's mysteries."} {mushimi: *pink in the face* y-you really are stupid....saying you love me? who could.....love a nobody like me?} {Yokomizo: "Because...you're so full of life. You're funny--intentionally. You have spirit. You don't back down..."} {mushimi: ..... } {-you were so difficult. it pissed me off so much....but i suppose you grew on me over time....-} {Yokomizo: "Feel okay?"} {mushimi:....fine...just been sick is all...} {-it was before we started senior high school...-} {mushimi:......} {Yokomizo: "So..."} {mushimi: i hate this...i hate looking at myself in the mirror......i feel all wrong! my body's all wrong, yokomizo and im going crazy! *tears falling*} {Yokomizo: "..." *holds Mushimi* "You're fine. And if you feel this way...maybe this isn't your body?"} {mushimi: i was born all wrong...i dont fit in this body....maybe if i were the son mother always wanted to have...maybe i wouldnt be so miserable?....you'd...probably not want to date me for that...huh?} {Yokomizo: "I want to date _you_."} {mushimi: i...y...yo....uu....*cries into his shoulder*} {Yokomizo: "I love you. And I want you to be who you want to be..." *strokes Mushimi's head*} {mushimi:.................yokomizo?} {*SNIP*} {-you cut my hair shorter than it was…-} {mushimi: ah-} {Yokomizo: "I think that may be a small first step?"} {mushimi: .....i...i think so..........hey.....can i ask something from you?} {Yokomizo: "Sure."} {mushimi: can you....call me 'mushitaro' from now on?} {Yokomizo: *nods* "Mushitaro."} {mushitaro:...*hugs him* thanks....} oguri:.......(i know, you'd want me to move on after you died....i've tried, believe me....but i think there's always a part of me that loves you....) -smoke billows from ahead- driver: ??? what the heck? oguri: ??? *An officer waves down the car* driver: was there an accident? Officer: "What do you think? Yes, there was. A murder." driver: a murder? Officer: "Yes. And do you know who was murdered?" driver: who? oguri: ??? *BANG* oguri: !!!!!!....... !!!!!!!!!!!!!! -with ranpo- -the cop car walkie talkie is going off- Radio: *static* "--gone--" officer: ?? rowena: ??? oguri: -npo! ranpo can you hear me?! the agency's going to get a big mission soon, DO NOT TAKE IT! IF YOU DO THE AGENCY WILL BE- -BANG BANG- rowena: ??!! -the line goes silent- ranpo: what.....what the hell? -elsewhere- yana: *pant, pant*.... *she had made it to an alley* (come on, gonch, get here soon....) Anya: "Yana!" yana: *tenses and looks back* oh....hello princess.....been a while, huh? Anya: *pouting...and looking enraged* "Don't you 'Princess' me!" yana:.....you seem mad.....is it because i didnt give you a proper goodbye? Anya: "And then you run off when I see you?! What the devil was that about?! I had to run--in these shoes--in this dress--just to catch up to you?! What the hell?!!" yana:....its pretty complicated....but i doubt we'll meet again after this, so i'll tell you......*whispers in her ear* the rats in the house of the dead......im one of them. Anya: *her eyes widen* yana:....*glances*....my ride's here.......just forget seeing me today.........*kisses her on the lips* it's our little secret, ok? Anya: *too stunned* "No..." yana: <farewell, princess.> *drops flash grenade and escapes* Anya: "W-Wait!" *tries to re-adjust her eyes, running blindly--into the street* -grab- tsugumi: anya! there you are! Anya: "Ts-Tsugumi? Where did she go..." tsugumi: what do you mean? *worried* Anya: "..." *covers her face* "I can't even see which way to go..." tsugumi: anya anya are you ok?? -elsewhere- yana:....<come on, let's go.> Ivan: <Of course.> *starts driving...glances in the rear-view mirror* "?!!" <Are you injured?!> yana: ?? <what do you mean?> Ivan: <You're crying.> yana: eh?.....*she touches her cheek. it's wet* so i am.....huh.....weird.... Ivan: "...But you're not hurt?" yana: i dont....think so.... -later, after reopening kunikida's case, he was declared innocent and released- -pop pop- -confetti all over- aya: welcome home, kunikida!! ^u^ Kunikida: "..." *nods* "Thank you." naomi: we wanted to make a notebook cake, but this was all we could make. *it's a simple round cake with a notebook crudely drawn with frosting on it* Kunikida: "...It's the thought that counts." atsushi: *smiles* fukuzawa:..... Kunikida: "..." *sits* "...May I have some water?" fukuzawa: of course....after you're all rested up, we have a new mission. ranpo: *tenses* Kunikida: "...So soon?" *his hand shakes slightly along the glass* fukuzawa: but first, i want you to get rest, kunikida. you could use it. Kunikida: "Of course." *sips the water* "..." ("It's so different from what I've been drinking...") yosano: i'll need to check vitals later. so come see me when you're ready. Kunikida: "Of course. Later this afternoon." *sets the glass down, sits upright* "Parameters for the mission, sir?" fukuzawa: alright. but first, i'll need to explain something to everyone. this may come off as a shock, so i want you all in a good mindset. Dazai: "..." Kunikida: "Sir?" ranpo: ..... {oguri: ranpo can you hear me?! the agency's going to get a big mission soon, DO NOT TAKE IT! IF YOU DO THE AGENCY WILL BE-} (will be what?) Tanizaki: "Was this the mission you had talked about before...before?" fukuzawa: *he nods* yes. you will be traveling abroad for this mission. Tanizaki: "Well, we have most passports in order. I'm still working on Kyoka's..." Kyoka: "...I could expedite the process. Which post office do I need to visit--" atsushi: kyouka.. ._.; Tanizaki: "No need for that--I'll just visit the post office myself." ^^; "Without knives, tasers--" Kyoka: "A pen is also a deadly weapon." Dazai: "I can confirm~" kirako: ^^;; Kunikida: *stares at Dazai and Kyoka* "NO KNIVES. NO TASERS. NO PENS. LET TANIZAKI HANDLE THIS, OR I SWEAR I WILL PUT DEMERITS IN BOTH OF YOUR FILES." *stares at Atsushi* "Have you not been keeping a tighter leash on these two?" atsushi: we've been doing our best. Kunikida: "..." *sighs* "I know. Just...keep an eye on them." aya: ...... -elsewhere- Anya: *curled up in bed* "..." tsugumi: anya? we brought you some snacks. Anya: "..." *grunts* "Thank you." tsugumi:....we're here for you, ok? Anya: "..." *sniff* "O-Okay..." tsugumi:....*hug* Anya: *starts crying, shivering* tsugumi: it's alright.... -elsewhere- yana: .......... Ivan: "..." <You've been quiet.> yana: hm? oh....sorry.....been feeling kinda sick..... Ivan: <Let's get you some chicken soup.> yana: thanks.......you mentioned something about a new recruit showing up soon? lydia:..............*excalibur face* we'll need to stock up on alcohol. yana: why, they a heavy drinker? lydia:............no. Ivan: <We...just have to do our best through this for Master and Mini Master~> ^^;;;;;;; yana: ?? *There is a small explosion between the three of them* ???: "GUESS WHO'S BACK?!" lydia:................*long sigh* yana: <what the fuck?!> ???: "It's me! Go-Go-Gogol!!!" yana:........*gives ivan a weird look as if to ask 'why'?* Ivan: owo; "Just...part of Master's brilliant plan. I think. I hope. I don't know anymore..." yana:....lydia, get as much booze as humanly possible. lydia: <already on it.> Gogol: *dancing...to no music* Q: oh boy, is the circus here? *shiny eyes* Gogol: "I ask the questions here, okay?" *takes off his hat, pulls out a chocolate bunny* "You like candy?" Q: *nom* ^u^ thaaanks. 💗 zoey: ??? Gogol: "??? Who's she?" lydia: <our new medic. the child's foster mother> Gogol: <Is she any good?> lydia:.... <as a medic or as a mother?> -elsewhere- Vulcan: *adjusting wires* "Just a bit more--" *zap* "Ouch!" karin: you ok? Vulcan: "Gah...Yeah, just attached to the wrong wire." *attaches two others* "Okay. That should start it. Put it on without weapons engaged?" karin: alrighty! *putting it on* Vulcan: *checking a tablet* "Okay, looking good...Try the flamethrower?" -FWOOOOM- karin: looking good! Vulcan: "Alright! That's what I'm talking about--" *Fire alarm goes off* karin:...*sweatdrop* -elsewhere- higuchi: *hands in paperwork* here, those should be the forms. all filled out. Hirotsu: "You're sure about this?" higuchi: *she nods* this is for the good of the mafia. Hirotsu: "Quite a team you picked..." *signs off* "You got a pilot?" higuchi: *she nods* Hirotsu: "And you're sure about...the Russian?" higuchi: she has a name, sir. -_-; but she seems to be trustworthy. Hirotsu: "Very well. Keep an eye on her, though. When do you leave?" higuchi: in a few days. Hirotsu: "Understood. You will need to get a cover while overseas." -elsewhere- Belkia: "You up for a girls' night?" naho: yep! it's gonna be lit! Belkia: "Well, it's going to be dull here. Sham will probably make 'boys night' into charades and bonsai pruning." Shamrock: X_-; lavender: you can watch scary movies if you want. Belkia: "And see how quickly we make Sham pee himself!" Shamrock: x_-### -elsewhere- katya: -and after we pull the wrench out from his eye socket, i said 'i thought wrenches were supposed to _fix_ things!' *cackling* pushkin: hahaha! XD tachihara: ._______o;;;;;;; Chuuya: -_-;;; miura:...how is that even remotely funny? katya: *shrug* what can i say? when you've been in the rats as long as we have, you kind of develop a fucked-up sense of humor. Chuuya: "I motion that we limit them to knock-knock jokes." katya: alright. knock knock. Chuuya: "Who's there?" katya: so. Chuuya: "So who?" katya: so who's going to dig the hole for the body? HAHAHAHAH!!! naoya:..... >->;;; Chuuya: *sigh* "Still not as awful as before..." katya: oh? well then, i accept your challenge. -elsewhere- Daisy: *asleep on couch* Fitzgerald: ._.;; "...What do we pay her for?" mary: i think she has a fever. eckleburg: D8> i'll call a doctor. Fitzgerald: "??? We don't have one working in this building?" louisa: *checking the files* *Someone enters the room* ???: "Hello. I'm the company physician..." Fitzgerald: "Ah, Owl Eyes, come in." Owl Eyes: ( - ) _ ( - ) ;;;; "Of course..." *walks up to Daisy* "I'll check the patient..." -elsewhere- Kunikida: "..." *slow inhale* -knocking- Kunikida: "..." *waits* "...Yes?" aya: hey, katai's here! Kunikida: "Oh, well, I should greet--" *HUG* Kunikida: "..." Katai: Q____Q "I'M SORRY!" aya: *leg hug* Kunikida: "...For...what?" Katai: "I should have gotten you out sooner! I kept going down rabbit holes--but it all kept disappearing!" Kunikida: "...I'm out now. It's past. Thank you." aya: *tiny smile* Katai: Q_____Q *still hugging Kunikida* "...You've gotten thin..." Kunikida: -_-; "Enough." aya: well, we're gonna make you the best dinner of all time! Kunikida: "...I'm sure it'll be good. What were you thinking?" aya: let's see what we got! Katai: *looking in the cupboards* "Pasta?" aya: heck yes!! -elsewhere- Akutagawa: *shivers in the cold outside* rashomon: *sad growl* Akutagawa: "..." *awkward pet* "Let's get inside already..." *turns into a random building* -elsewhere- Ted: *humming lightly* ???: <there you are. the boss has been meaning to speak with you.> Ted: "???" <Where to?> -elsewhere- Kid: *reviewing files...yawns* lord death: long day? Kid: *nods* "The recent crimes had me trying to find patterns...But it's all a jumble now." homura: so strange. it could take a month to get it all in order.... Kid: *looks at Homura* "Good thing we have people quick at bringing order to chaos..." homura: hmm..... -elsewhere- pushkin: *singing* what ever happened to predictability? the milkman, the paperboy, evening tv~ *whistling* Gin: -______________- pushkin: Owo;;;;;; heeeeeeyyyyy giiiin.... you're not still mad at me about the whole 'poisoning your bro' thing....right? ^-^;;;;;;;; Gin: "It's how I think of you." pushkin: QuQ;;;;;;;; Gin: "You should be aware that anyone in the Mafia is obligated to stop their peer should they be a threat to the organization..." pushkin: noted. .w.;;;;;; but i can understand why you're pissed off at me about your bro. hell, if something like that happened to my siblings, i'd be pissed too. Gin: "Your parents had more of you?" pushkin: i come from a pretty big family. Gin: "Hmm. Doubt you speak with them as much as you want." pushkin: no kidding. and given my line of work... ^-^;;; Gin: "...Yes." *looks out the window* pushkin:....i got photos. ^^ Gin: "Oh?" pushkin: ^u^ -he wasnt kidding when he said he was from a big family- tachihara:... .________________________.; Gin: "...I thought it would be your face PhotoShopped onto multiple babies." pushkin: hardee har......*making mental note to do that as a joke* Gin: "What's the age difference?" pushkin: im one of the older kids, and most of them are in their teens, with some in the single digits. Tachihara: it’s like the Russian Duggars. -elsewhere- Tanizaki: *packing his suitcase* naomi: *squeeeee* im so excited!!! >u< Tanizaki: ^^;;; "You figure out which tourist stops to visit?" naomi: still looking online. Tanizaki: "Like a museum or a play?" naomi: *nod nod* Tanizaki: "Hmm..." *checks his phone* "This one might be good--but I'll have to pack a suit." -elsewhere- Gogol: <Who's the best dancer? I'm the best dancer! Who's the best dancer? I'M THE BES--> lydia: <please go to sleep already.> Gogol: <Did I wake you?> lydia: <how can you wake me if i wasnt even sleeping?> -_-# Gogol: <Have you tried warm milk and a bedtime story? I got a great one!> lydia: -____- (the things i do for love...) Gogol: <How about 'The Frozen Woman of the Lake'? That one helps me sleep!> -elsewhere- Dazai: "I'm back." *carrying in groceries* kirako: *smiles* mii: *mreow* Dazai: *pets Mii* "I can start up dinner--even got some of the fancy lettuce." kirako: thanks. Dazai: "How you feeling?" kirako: alright. *rubs her stomach* Dazai: "...How's the little one?" kirako: coming along.....want to listen? Dazai: "...Y-Yeah..." *approaches...presses his head against her belly* "...!!!" kirako: ?? what is it? Dazai: "Just...listening." kirako:....*pets his head* Dazai: =///= kirako: *smiles* Dazai: "Next doctor's appointment coming up?" -elsewhere- Lucy: "That's a big trip." atsushi: yeah. im kind of nervous. Lucy: "You haven't traveled that far, have you?" atsushi: no. i've never left the country. Lucy: "I hardly think crossing the border from Canada counts as much travel..." *shudders* "Not after reports of rampaging starving wild men tearing through local waffle houses..." atsushi:...oook then? Lucy: "...!!!" *shiny eyes* "They have fancy chocolate in Germany, right?!" atsushi: i think so. i'll be sure to bring some back for you. Lucy: *glomp* atsushi: O/////////O *tiger tail sticks straight up* Lucy: *cheek smooch, hug* -elsewhere- yana: and _that_, Q, is where babies come from. Q: O___________________________________.;;;;;;; Ivan: O-O; <Maybe that was a mistake?> Q: QAQ I THOUGHT MY THINGY WAS ONLY FOR PEEING!! Ivan: >_< "This is going to backfire..." Q: how do i switch between pee and c-men? yana: DONT...say it out loud. ._.;;; Ivan: *looks around* zoey: oh, sweetie. it's natural... ^^ *hug* Ivan: >_> Q: so then im _not_ supposed to pee in them? Ivan: >_____< zoey: *smiles* your papa....put his semen inside me....and soon....you're little sibling will be born~<3 Ivan: *covers his face* <Such awful parenting...> yana: <think _you_ could do better?> Ivan: "Hmph." <Why would I?> yana:....*shrug* <just thinking out loud...> Ivan: "..." *stares at Q* <I could always mold him into Master's image~> yana:..... >->;;;; <forget i even asked.> lydia: <ivan no> Ivan: "Young child! I will make you into the man that will earn your father the pride and acclaim he deserves!" Q: QuQ~? zoey: *HISSSSSS* Ivan: " *HISSSSSS* yourself!" *smiles at Q* "Let's get you a better outfit than the one that makes you look like a nightmarish ventriloquist dummy sent to haunt the innocent and drive the wicked into despair~" zoey: mommy will pick out a nice little outfit for you! Ivan: " 'Mommy' can't even dress herself without looking like a gigantic <slut>!" zoey: at least _i_ dont wrap bandages around my head like an idiot! Ivan: "IT'S MY AESTHETIC! What's your aesthetic--early 21-century skank?!" zoey: i happen to enjoy the leather! it makes me feel....as though master is punishing me all the time <3 yana:......................*facepalm* Ivan: "..." <I was letting leather rub against my nethers long before your whorish backside was brought into this organization, you psychopath.> yana: <stop them before they hurt themselves.> lydia: <vanyushka, i think you've made your point.> *sweatdrop* Ivan: "I weep for poor Master, to have such a woman incapable of caring for a child, now carrying his child. Her womb is not fit for garbage!" lydia: *grabs him by the throat and glares* Ivan: "!!!" lydia: <behave.> Ivan: "..." >_> <I was just saying...> lydia: *STAAAAARE* Ivan: ._.;;;; <...Okay.> yana: looks like it was a stalemate, then. Ivan: >_< -elsewhere- Kid: *sits back* stocking: *snuggle* hehe~ Kid: *hug* =\\\\w\\\\= "So nice..." stocking: hmhm~<3 *nuzzle* im so lucky. Kid: "???" stocking: to have such a wonderful husband~<3 Kid: "D'aw..." *hugs* "You're too good to be true." stocking: *giggles and kisses his jaw* Kid: ^\\\^ "Aaaa~" stocking: *sits down on his laps and snuggles* u///u Kid: *strokes her hair, holding her close* "I love you." -elsewhere- Chuuya: *reading* mito: *asleep on his lap* Chuuya: *strokes her back* mito: =w= Chuuya: *keeps petting as he reads--* ("This is a weird mission...Why that far overseas for them?") {Chuuya: "Why there?"} {higuchi: according to reports, mori was raised there. if we investigate his home, we could potentially find hints as to his whereabouts.} {Chuuya: "...You think he traveled that far?"} {higuchi: cant say for sure....} {Chuuya: "Well, I'm guessing Motojiro can help with that--maybe trace some of Mori's usual scents..."} {higuchi: perhaps.} {Chuuya: "...I guess I'm keeping an eye on Akutagawa, then?"} {higuchi: *she nods*} Chuuya: *sighs* "Maybe a meal would work..." -elsewhere- Kunikida: *sitting up in bed* "..." -the apartment is silent, aya is asleep in her room- Kunikida: "..." *shudders* {Kunikida: *strapped to his bed*} nobuko: *laying next to him* i love you...doppo...*smiling* Kunikida: "You're not real...You're not..." nobuko: dont you....want me? Kunikida: "...I don't want fantasies. I want...my ideal." nobuko: even after we made love in this same bed so long ago?.....you felt so good... Kunikida: "Stop..." *crying* "Just stop..." nobuko: *undressing.....revealing her body is falling apart, with patches of skin missing, revealing bones under* Kunikida: "!!!" *backs up* nobuko: i want you....i miss you so much its so cold its so cold its so cold.... Kunikida: "NO!" *swings his arm* aya: *slams the door, holding a hammer* WHATS GOING ON IN HERE?! Kunikida: *backed up to the wall* Q_Q aya: kunikida what the heck happened? i heard a noise and i thought someone broke in! Kunikida: "...Just a nightmare. I am sorry to have woken you. ...AND WHY DO YOU HAVE THE HAMMER?!" aya: in case of an intruder. Kunikida: "..." *sigh* "A hammer is ineffective without proper aim. Tomorrow, we train you on projectiles." aya: neato! Kunikida: "...Try to go back to sleep." aya: ok. niiight. -morning- Kouyou: "Nervous leaving again?" leo: *nods* Kouyou: "Understandable. Go you even know German?" leo: ....not...much.... 7.7; Kouyou: "The Mafia will find a way to provide a translator--" *THUMP* leo: *jumps slightly* ah! *Motojiro is pressed against the window--having crashed into it* leo: ._.; *opens the window* are you alright? Motojiro: *lifts his head, his nose bruised* "PEACHY!" *he's hanging onto a rope he swung on--and holds up a translation book* leo: ah. so then you're our translator? Kouyou: -_-; "Well, he is a polygot, but his German is rather poor..." Motojiro: ^^; "I'm working on that!" *suddenly speaking fluent German* <You have nothing to fear when I'm on the job!> leo: ^^ Kouyou: "...You're still getting the vowels wrong." leo: at least it's better than nothing, right? Motojiro: *shiny eyes* Kouyou: *sighs* "Very well. Proceed with the mission." leo: understood. Motojiro: "Yay!" >w< -elsewhere- Takehisa: *removes his glasses, rubs his eyes* komori: *asleep at her desk* Takehisa: "..." *grabs a blanket, places it over her shoulders* komori: zzzz .... *her mouth slit scars are partially visible* Takehisa: "???" komori: zzzz Takehisa: "..." *he turns away, walks away slowly* ( -elsewhere- Todoroki: "Where are you going?" fuyumi: just running errands. Todoroki: "Ah. Need help?" fuyumi: can you watch the apartment while im out? Todoroki: "Yes. Expecting anything? Deliveries?" fuyumi: not at the top of my head. -elsewhere- Daisy: *groans, opens her eyes* "My head..." louisa: are you alright? Daisy: "What happened? I had a fever and...I blacked out?" louisa: i think so, but you were treated by doctor- Fitzgerald: "Owl Eyes! This bill is obscene! How dare you charge this much!" Owl Eyes: ( - ) _ ( - )# louisa: *she looks* *The bill is for $100* louisa: ._.; Owl Eyes: ( - ) _ ( - ) "Sir, you spent $100 on that gaudy sweater for your pet fox." Mr. Tsubaki: *scratching* >_< -elsewhere- Mori: "...They're going?" fukuzawa: yes. Mori: "Hmm...That way leads to death." fukuzawa: ? Mori: "Looking into my past...That has not worked out well for many." fukuzawa: ..... Mori: *sighs* "I thought that trap in the clinic would be enough." fukuzawa: ....yeah... Mori: "...You better have some good people there. I just got a bad feeling...After Father, there was a power vacuum." fukuzawa: oh? Mori: "Just imagine...people like us. Do you think, ever for a second, that us--the Agency, the Mafia, the Guild, now the Rats--are the only Ability organizations?" fukuzawa:.....i have heard of 'order of the clock tower' in passing.... Mori: "...My father was not an Ability user. And the vacuum he left...you'd need an _army_ of Ability users to fill it..." fukuzawa: ..... Mori: "..." *lets out a small laugh* fukuzawa:...what's so funny? Mori: "Just thinking...if not for the power balance, your Agency and my Mafia would've wiped each other out. What do you do when you're somewhere where your treaty doesn't mean a damn?" fukuzawa: .....we find a way to make things work. Mori: "Hmph. I'd like to see that..." -elsewhere- Gogol: *curled up asleep--on the floor* barkova: OwO~? Gogol: *dog sleep kick* barkova: *nuzzle* =w= *puppy growl* Gogol: *small dog purr* lydia:....(not even going to question it…fyodor, what is your plan, exactly?) Gogol: *yawns, opens his eyes* "... ??? You got a dog?" lydia: <gogol, you remember barkova. she's one of our members? =_=;> yana: <to be fair, we havent seen much of her recently...> Gogol: <Do you think I remember everything I see...um...> *holds a hand up to Yana's head* <...What was your name? Anya?> yana:.........................................................................................yana. im new. more or less....... -after filling him in on all that has been going on- Gogol: <When we busting him out?> yana: <for now, we're awaiting orders. could take a long time, mind you...but thats just how things are.> Gogol: <How unpredictable can you get?> yana:......*shrug* -elsewhere- Emine: =________= *yawns* mono: *walking to the bathroom to take a shower* Emine: *walks by* mono:....what? Emine: "...You're off to shower?" mono: yeah, so? Emine: "...Nothing. Nothing at all." *keeps walking* mono:....hm.... *opens the door* Assi: *just stepped out of the shower* "..." mono:..... .///. Assi: "..." *can't see at all--grabs his glasses, puts them on* "..." O\\\\\\\O mono: EXCUSE ME! *shoves him out of the way and slams the door behind her* Assi: D: "H-Hey!" *slams on the door* "At least give me my towel!" -TOWEL TOSS- Assi: *towel over his eyes* "...Thank you!" ^\\\\^ -elsewhere- Anya: "..." *takes a shirt--and tears it in half* rowena: miss hepburn? Anya: "Hmm?" *has a sewing kit* rowena: is everything alright? Anya: "...I just...want to try something new..." *starts sewing some cloth scraps* rowena: hmm, well it's good to take up a hobby. ^^ Anya: "I-I hope..." *her eyes look wet* rowena:...miss hepburn? *worried* Anya: "I-I'm fine..." *puts on a smile* tsugumi:.... -elsewhere- Katai: *staring at his laptop* "So much new information...It's pouring in, like a firehose..." keek: no kidding.....*tenses* Katai: "..." *rubs his eyes* "Too much. Need a break..." *looks at her* "...What's wrong?" keek: no-nothing. *closes out window* Katai: "...I'll make some ramen..." *opens the microwave* "Want some?" keek: sure.... -elsewhere- Chuuya: *splashes water on his face* mito: *mewl* Chuuya: *dries his face, looks at Mito* "Still awake, huh?" mito: *mreow* Chuuya: "And probably hungry..." *pets* mito: *purr* -elsewhere- Iida: "--then Sero unfortunately got taped to the wall by this hothead, egotistical, obnoxious, supercilious--" Bakugo: "WHO ARE YOU CALLING 'SUPERCILIOUS'?!" Iida: "--reprobate." sero: please help me. Aizawa: "..." *grabs one bit of the tape* mina: you lost me at super-silly-us. Todoroki: "He's saying that Bakugo is under the false assumption that he is superior to everyone else--" Bakugo: "I AM BETTER THAN ALL Y'ALL!" mina: oh. Mineta: -_- "I don't think Bakugo is super-licious. I'm super-licious for all the ladies." jirou:..... *SLAM DUNK INTO THE TRASHCAN* where's the paper shredder? Izuku: ._.; "Um, here?" *hands the shredder* -elsewhere- Kyoka: "More. I want all the make-up work I will have to do while overseas." *has a wheelbarrow full of tests, worksheets, and textbooks* atsushi: ._.; Sid: "I appreciate your dedication--but stop. This is killing me." Kyoka: "..." atsushi:...*awkward cough* Sid: "...Y-You know what I meant..." T~T -elsewhere- Magaki: *sets down empty teacup* <Now what?> tsubaki: <perhaps some more english lessons?> Magaki: *nods* <I would like that.> *takes out notebook and textbook* tsubaki: *taking out some flashcards* Magaki: <That is a...um...> "--cat?" tsubaki: *she nods* <that's right.> cat. ^^ Magaki: *small smile* <G-Good...Do you have a> "cat" <at your home?> tsubaki: <not exactly.> Magaki: <Ah. No pets?> tsubaki:.... ^-^; *holds up another card* Magaki: "???" ("Did I say something wrong?") <That's...a> "house"? -elsewhere- Daisy: -_-# "I'm fine. You can stop worrying." eckleburg: just want to make sure you arent over exerting yourself. Daisy: *stands up* "Do I look like I'm over-exer--" *starts to wobble* eckleburg: !!! *nice catch* Daisy: "..." >\\\\> "Just set me down." eckleburg: .////.;;; r-r-right. sorry. Daisy: *sits down* >\\\\\> Fitzgerald: *walks by* "Oh, you still look like you have a fever--" Daisy: *punches Fitzgerald in the jaw* fitzgerald: *not even phased*....did she get any sleep last night? -elsewhere- Poe: "--and turned out to be quite a bizarre tale." lana: sounds like it. Poe: "I had considered writing it--but Ranpo was adamant." lana:....and that 'cleaner'. do you think he's really....? Poe: "..." *lowers his head, shakes his head* lana: ..... Poe: "...Ranpo has changed since." lana:...do you think he's alright? Poe: "He seems distracted, worried." lana:....and how are you holding up? Poe: "..." *sighs* "I wish I had figured out the mystery." lana: well, all we can do now is move forwards, right? Poe: "..." *moves his hand to hers* lana:....*kiss* Poe: =\\\\= "Mmm." -elsewhere- higuchi: *in the private jet* ... Motojiro: OwO leo: this is a lot more comfortable than my last flight... Motojiro: "...O-Only the best here..." leo: ...*small smile* higuchi: *checking map* Motojiro: *clear his throat* "Where do we begin the search?" higuchi: we'll be landing at berlin airport. so there's a good place as any to start. Motojiro: "I'll have to get my tech set up...I am fascinated by the tunnels." leo: ^^....*checking her passport* -elsewhere- Kunikida: "..." *sits at his desk* "..." *adjusts his chair* "..." *shifts a pencil on his desk* "..." *inhales--it sounds slightly hallow, wavering* ???: kunikida? Kunikida: "!!!" *turns, his hand opening his book* kenji: are you ok? Kunikida: "..." *he had opened the book to the 'gun' page* "...Uneasy." kenji: ?? Kunikida: "I-I just need...water." *shuts his book, sets it on the desk, walks to the kitchen* kenji: .... Kunikida: *opens the cupboard* "...These aren't the same glasses. What happened to the ones from before?" yosano: ?? Kunikida: "These aren't the same glasses? What, did Dazai smash them in another failed suicide attempt? Why did this change while I was gone?" *shaking* yosano: kunikida, kunikida take it easy......what happened to you in that prison.....t-they didnt....did they? Kunikida: "Wh-What? Do what to me?" yosano: did anything happen there? if so, what was it? Kunikida: "...It was nothing. Just...nothing." yosano:....if you need to talk, im here to listen... Kunikida: "..." *nods, grabs a glass, fills it with water* -later- Tanizaki: "...He's not doing well, is he?" yosano: *shakes head* Tanizaki: "...Is this mission going to help him, or make it worse?" yosano: for his sake and the sake of the agency, im hoping its the former. Tanizaki: "Not likely the boss will let him refuse--or that Kunikida _would_ refuse. I promise, we'll keep an eye on him." -elsewhere- emily: so, remind me again what exactly we're looking for? Steinbeck: "There is a hidden treasure in one of these mines. We find it, and we have it all--jewels, gold--" ebie: what then? Steinbeck: "Then we split the money to fund what we need, and save enough of it for the next treasure hunt." oscar: sounds lovely~ -elsewhere- Vulcan: "Better?" lisa:....*nod*.... Vulcan: "..." *holds her hand* "I'm here." lisa:.....*holds onto him* Vulcan: *strokes her head* "You're here..." -morning- Kunikida: *splashes water on his face...his razor is there* "..." *looks at the razor, reaches for it--his hand still shaking* "..." *inhales slowly* -later, at the airport- Kyouka: "Well, we're off." kenji: good luck everyone! yosano: we'll hold down the fort while you're gone! Lucy: "Come back safely." atsushi: we will! ^^ Kunikida: "..." naomi: ok, our flight is on terminal 5 Tanizaki: "Last check--everyone has passports?" -yep- Tanizaki: *nods* "Well, we'll see you when we return." kirako: do your best! ranpo: ... Dazai: "??? Ranpo?" ranpo: ??? Dazai: "..." *smiles* "Keep an eye on Kirako?" ranpo: will do. Kunikida: "...Goodbye." -and so, on the plane- Tanizaki: "Quite different being the passenger than the pilot." ^^; naomi: *checking brochures* Kyoka: "What's our first stop?" atsushi: lets see.... *checking map and agenda* Kunikida: "It'll be to check into the hotel first." atsushi: right. so where are we staying? Kunikida: "Wurzburg Hotel." Dazai: "Ah, the one with the nun's ghost?" *silent* Tanizaki: "..." Q_Q naomi: ._.; Kunikida: "Look, I had to find something on short notice--hotels book far in advance--" Kyoka: "I already have anti-ghost measures. Now, where did I pack my taser--" -meanwhile- leo: *looking in store windows* Motojiro: owo "...F-Fancy clothing shops, huh?" leo: *she nods* Motojiro: "Did you want to go inside?" leo: um... well, im still figuring out the currency... Motojiro: *pulls out an abacus* "Well, we can solve the exchange rate here..." higuchi: ^^; Motojiro: "And we can exchange right over there-" -elsewhere- Akitaru: "Super!" *turns on the sink faucet* "Just give it a moment..." -elsewhere- tamaki: *SCREAM* maki: ??! Akitaru: "...I thought I had said not to use the water for a few minutes?" maki: *runs to tamaki's room*... O-O; tamaki: *she's holding a broom....with a bird perched on the end of it* Arthur: *walks in* "...A griffin?" tamaki: shhh.. please dont fly, come on. just stay still, easy does it... *trying to get it to the window* bird: *staring* Arthur: "..." tamaki: *sticks the broom tip out the window, and the bird flies away as tamaki yells and slams the window shut*... *phew* Arthur: "..." *pats her head* shinra: between arthur and that bird. seems she's a magnet for bird brains. iris: *chuckle* shinra! Arthur: -_-; "I will have you know my brain is far larger than that tiny griffin's." maki: at least you survived. tamaki: -A-; i dont even remember leaving the window open... Victor: .________. Vulcan: T_T "That poor bird..." maki: ^-^;.... commander? what's with that smile? Akitaru: "Just...thinking." *sniffs* shinra: .... -elsewhere- Hyde: "And that's the last of the ice cream--all stocked!" ochako: *phew* Hyde: *grabs two sodas* "So, what you up to this weekend?" ochako: going to be cramming mostly. i heard licht's going to be doing a show soon? Hyde: -_-# "So that's why he's so irritated...Yeah, should be a big showing." ochako: sounds fun. ^^ -elsewhere- Lucy: "..." *sigh* aya: lonely? Lucy: "Yeah..." *looks at her phone* "Not one message..." -ping- atsushi: [we're here ^o^] Lucy: OwO *texting fast* [oh good to hear] atsushi: *smiling* *sends a pic of himself, kyouka, and dazai posing in front of a sign* Lucy: >w< [looks great. u heading to your hotel?] atsushi: [yeah.] Lucy: [check in before you get to bed--although i'll probably be asleep by then] atsushi: [will do. love you. <3 ] Lucy: .\\\\. [love u 2] aya: awww. ^^ -meanwhile- atsushi: .///////////////////////////////////////////////////. Dazai: "How we splitting the rooms?" naomi: i call dibs on bro's room~<3 Kyoka: "???" Tanizaki: -\\\\-;;; Kunikida: -_-; "I'm rooming with Dazai to keep him out of trouble." Dazai: owo "Little old me~?" atsushi: so, how many rooms do we have? Kyoka: "Two." atsushi: ah. so then we'll have to choose to either be with dazai and kunikida or the tanizakis. Kyoka: *staaaaaaaaaaaaaare* atsushi: ...rock paper scissors? Dazai: "Dibs on Atsushi!!!" atsushi: 0-0; erm- naomi: that means kyouka's rooming with us. yay! ^u^ *HUUUUUG* Kyoka: "...Uuuuuuuuum--" Dazai: *grabs Atsushi* "Let's get our beds picked!" Tanizaki: ._. naomi: we're gonna have great girl bonding time and it's gonna be the best! atsushi: ._.; Kyoka: "..." *whispers to Atsushi* "Help me." ???:.....*walking away* -meanwhile tachihara:...akutagawa? you ok- Akutagawa: *violently shaking* "Fine." tachihara:.... >->;;; pushkin: <-<;;;;;;;;;;;; tachihara: hey, why not have some quality guy time? check the arcades and shit. Akutagawa: "...I don't think my agreement said I cannot kill video game characters in a video game. That should exorcise some frustrations." tachihara: there ya go. *pat pat* -elsewhere- ???:.....hm? who let you in here? girl: um....m....m-mr goethe? goethe: ah, so you know me, little lady? girl: i-i heard something y-you might want to know.... goethe: well get to it. girl: there's these people from the states. the 'armed detective agency'...t-they were sent here to eliminate you. goethe: hnn?....so the authorities are resorting to such means? what a pain....thanks kid, now get outta here. girl: *she exits*.......*enters a phone booth and calls someone* <miss yana, i told them!> yana: good job, elizaveta. elizaveta: hehe... yana: two birds...one stone... -elsewhere- Katai: Q___Q Poe: *looking around* "Why did you call us in?" rowena: did something happen? blair: lenore! so glad to see you again! lenore: 7///7; you as well. Katai: "I-I-I had thought wi-without the Agency here, they might need...backup?" *shivers under blanket...while he's standing* Poe: Q_Q;;; rowena: ah, i see. we'll gladly help out then. ^^ Katai: "Th-Thank you!" *pulls out a file* "I received this one from the boss--Bl-Blair? Where is it?" blair: here you go~<3 Katai: ^\\\\^ Poe: "???" *looks at the file* "Rowena, isn't this near the school?" lenore: *sigh* classic her. rowena: hmm. i believe so. fukuzawa:... *small smile* (it's only temporary, but they feel right at home here... maybe when the others return, i should consider hiring them...poe will have to take the entrance exam, however...) Poe: " 'Her'?" lenore: blair was one of my fellow familiars once upon a time ago. rowena: oh, i see. -elsewhere- chie: *rocking toru and humming* Yohei: *finishes setting the sheets back on Toru's crib...smiles* toru: zzzz Yohei: *walks over quietly, looks at Toru* toru: zzzz *he looks so peaceful* Yohei: *whispers to Chie* "He's so calm..." -elsewhere- leo: *brushing her hair* Motojiro: *in his room, fiddling with a translator app* leo: *finishing* motoji-.... o/////o Motojiro: "??? Yes?" *he was wearing his glasses* leo:.....hello. *her hair antennae pops back out from having been brushed down* Motojiro: "...Hello." ^w^ "Settling well into the hotel?" leo: y-yes....mind if i sit down? 7////7; Motojiro: "Of course!" *bounces in the seat* "They're comfy!" leo: r-right... *sits next to him*....so your ability.....it protects you from lemon shaped bombs? Motojiro: *notices her sitting next to him* o\\\\w\\\\o *nod nod nod* "I tried limes. It didn't go well." leo: pardon if this sounds rude, but the conditions to your ability are....oddly specific. ^^; Motojiro: "N-Not rude at all! I guess it's...just my luck?" ^^;; leo: i suppose.....*sad smile* Motojiro: "??? I-I'm sorry..." leo: i-it's fine. you dont have to apologize for anything..... Motojiro: "...I've looked into how abilities came to be--but it's still confusing." *scratches his cheek* leo: do you think....the book is the origin for those abilities? Motojiro: *sighs* "I would love to know. But without getting to examine the book, I can't make a good hypothesis." leo:.....one of the reasons i had joined the rats was to find the book and get rid of my ability...that way, i could die. Motojiro: "!!!" leo:...*wipes a tear* s-sorry. just...missing my family still, i guess..... Motojiro: "...I'm so sorry..." leo: its fine...it was long ago.... Motojiro: "..." *nods* "..." *pats her hand* leo:...*small blush* t-thank you....*lean* Motojiro: .\\\\\. *puts a hand on her shoulder* leo:....*small smile* Motojiro: "..." *smiles* -morning- Dazai: =w= "Zzz..." Kunikida: *slight snore* atsushi: *on the couch* zzzz *leg twitch* Dazai: *snuggles close* Kunikida: *wrinkles his nose...then falls back asleep* atsushi:.... *yawwwn* Dazai: *cuddles* Kunikida: *yawns loudly* Dazai: =3= atsushi: *brushing teeth* Dazai: *puts a leg over Kunikida--* Kunikida: *eyes break open* "..." *slow head turn* Dazai: =w= "Zzz..." *CRASH* atsushi: ?! *spits out toothpaste and runs over* WHAT HAP-.....um... ._.; Kunikida: *smacking Dazai with a pillow* "I. TOLD. YOU. TO. STAY. ON. YOUR. SIDE!" Dazai: "Oh, daddy--harder~" ^w^ atsushi:....................................i'll just....go make breakfast. *closes the door* odasaku: learn not to ask. ._.; Tanizaki: *exiting his room* "Wh-What was that?" naomi: *speed walks over to where kunikida and dazai are*.....hello gentlemen. dont mind me. Tanizaki: -_-; -elsewhere- boy: hey jakob. did you hear? Boy 2: "Hear what?" boy: those agency guys should be around here today. what do you say we play a few jokes, on them~? *he grins, revealing a row of shark teeth* Jakob: "Sounds fun! But, um...Wilhelm? Watch the smile?" wilhelm: ^u^; Jakob: *looks around* "Where's best to wait..." wilhelm: how about there? *points to a small shop* Jakob: "Ah, splendid!" wilhelm: fufufufu, this is gonna be great. -elsewhere- Stein: "..." *looking at a registry of older houses* soul: so what's today's game plan? Stein: "...I'm going to take a trip. Investigate the neighborhood." soul: right. Stein: *grabs a photo, puts it in his pocket* soul: *looking around* *Outside the street is already busy...Looks like some colorful characters* soul: *watching them* *One kid points to the shop* soul:...*stomach growls* *enters the shop* *One boy is giggling at something the other boy said* boy: *chuckles* um...excuse me, mr? soul: ?? boy: *griiiins* soul: huh...small world, i guess. Boy 2: *smiles* "My brother has awesome chompers, doesn't he?" soul: he sure does. boy: i'm really good a biting stuff. especially sweets. i can prove it to you too! Boy 2: ^w^ soul: oh? boy: but we dont have much money to buy any... soul:....<i'd like to buy some snacks for the kids?> Clerk: <Okay. What would you like, sir?> boy: *already has a few sweets picked out* soul:... .-.; <all this im guessing.> Clerk: <Very well. That'll be 15 euros.> -and so- boy: thank you mister~ fufufufu~ ^u^ Boy 2: *nom nom nom* <Uh huh...> soul: TT~TT; no problem..... (they got me, goddamit. they got me.) -elsewhere- Ted: *humming* girl: ....... Ted: "...You're awfully quiet." girl: ........ Ted: "Hmm. Well, we have our work ahead of us. That DWMA visitor is a nuisance..." *smiles* "I think he should have a small accident." girl:....*shaking* Ted: *texting* [location of the screw and his shark boy?] ???: [attending the show tomorrow <3 ] Ted: [good. i want u to take care of them] -elsewhere- Motojiro: *examining the subway system* ._.;;;; "Um...?" higuchi: ?? Motojiro: "Just having some difficulty tracing our path to our destination..." *tracing a finger* higuchi:....was that a joke? leo: *small laugh* Motojiro: OwO;;; "I...don't think I was?" higuchi: *checks map* Motojiro: "So, what do you know about this place we're visiting?" *looking over her shoulder* higuchi: only that it's a small town. Motojiro: "Hmm...And if it's that small, easier to hide something people don't want found..." -elsewhere- Fitzgerald: "--and they have _left_ this city? Why's that?" louisa: we're still looking into it. seems to be an oversees investigation, based on what we heard. Fitzgerald: "..." *smiles* "Useful." louisa: sir? Fitzgerald: "We won't have them looking over our shoulders for a bit. I think we should try some new opportunities..." -elsewhere- Gogol: =w= lydia: <he's still sleeping?> Ivan: <He partied so hard that he hasn't been up since dawn.> lydia: *siiiiiigh* yana: <let him sleep it off.> Ivan: <Very good. Now, onto the next problems: I don't recommend introducing Gogol to the priest--> yana: <good call. he might startle him.> Ivan: *chuckles* <He'd probably think Gogol was a demon...> yana: <but in theory, it'd be hilarious.> Ivan: <Yes! Good thing that hasn't--> *There's now an empty spot where Gogol had been sleeping* Ivan: OwO "...Where the fuck did he go?" lydia: *already going after him* Gogol: *yawns, turns the corner, walking to a room* oguri: *unconscious* Gogol: "??? ..." *yawns* <So not fun...> lydia: ... Gogol: *walks to another door* <Is this the bathroom?> lydia: no, that's nothing important. Gogol: "..." >w> lydia: do not. Gogol: *opens the door* lydia: <KOLYA I SWEAR-> Gogol: OwO "..." <What's with the chains?> yana: dont ask. Gogol: "..." *calmly closes the door...shudders* <Creepy.> -elsewhere- Kid: "No new reports from Stein..." nygus: hmm.. Sid: "Well, we got enough other problems to deal with." -elsewhere- Meme: "How's she doing?" rowena: she's....still stressed. Meme: "...I think I know that feeling..." ao: the poor dear.... Meme: "Are hobbies helping her?" ao: i think so. she spends a lot of time training... Anya: *punching and kicking the boxing punching bag* Meme: "...Is she taking breaks?" ao: ....i cant say. tsugumi: *worried* Meme: "Then someone better tell her to take a break..." *pushes Tsugumi forward* tsugumi: anyaaaaaa!!!! *TACKLES* Anya: "UMPH! tsugumi: *shaking her* take a break! get some sleep! Anya: "Ts-Tsugumi! Get off of me!" tsugumi: *pulls her up* you cant overwork yourself to death! we're worried about you. >3< Anya: "Let go of me!" *trying to press off* "I know! I just have to keep going!"

tsugumi:....*looks at meme....nods* Meme: *nods--and picks up Anya over her shoulder* Anya: o\\\\o "H-Hey!" Meme: "This is for your own good--time you go to bed and sleep." ao: it's best not to gripe. it's bad for your image~ rowena: ._.; does this happen...often? mio: this is pretty much one of our normal weekdays. Anya: "YOU'RE BAD FOR YOUR OWN IMAGE!" Meme: ._.; "???" *drops Anya onto bed* "Now sleep." -elsewhere- {???: "...What is this place?"} {???: beats me. i just thought the bathroom would be here.} {???: "Well, let's find it to make this quick--"} {???: and who are you two?} {???: Q_Q "N-Nobody?"} {????: what do we do with them? shall we cut them open and drain their blood?} {???: NOOOO PLEASE DONT DO THAT!} {???: "WHY WOULD THAT EVEN BE A PLAN?!"} {???: what do yoooou think mr rodigy~?} {Rodigy: *only his glasses shine in the shadow*} {???: "R-Rodigy? Is-Isn't he the President of Happy Factory?"} {Rodigy: "..._Vice_ President."} {???: PLEASE DONT KILL US WE'LL DO ANYTHING!} {Rodigy: *smirks* "Even...submit to a few tests?"} Assi: *wakes up with a start* -knock- Assi: "C-Come in?" setsuna: is everything alright? Assi: "...Bad dream." setsuna: do you need anything? Assi: "..." *gets out of bed--he's in a shirt and pajama bottoms* "Just need some water...I-I'll get it." *smiles before he puts on his glasses* setsuna: ... Assi: *walks by her...wipes his nose* -elsewhere- Wes: *tapping in time to the music* liz: *singing along* Wes: *smiles, begins his accompaniment on the violin* lord death: ^^ Patty: *shiny eyes, leaning forward* -elsewhere- Kyoka: *nom nom nom on chocolate* atsushi: so where to look next? Kunikida: "I have made a map of--" Dazai: "We dig under rocks!" naomi: ... -_-; Kunikida: *chop* "No. Atsushi, take him to the southwestern part of town, check with area physicians." atsushi: right. Dazai: >3> Kunikida: "Tanizaki, you're on surveillance in the town center. Naomi--" naomi: on it~ Kyoka: "...I suppose I'll go with Naomi. Don't you want company, Kunikida?" Kunikida: "No." atsushi:....*nods as if to say 'go with him anyway'* Kyoka: *nods* "I'll go with you anyway." *grabs his hand* Kunikida: -_-;;; wilhelm: hey jakob, why dont we prank them? Jakob: "Just wait for the right moment...But to find it, we have to follow, right?" wilhelm: indeed. im sure hansel and gretel are bored too. Jakob: "Indeed. I worry--do we need to split up to follow them all, or just pursue one group?" wilhelm: we'll follow the smaller girl and the ponytail man. Jakob: *nods* "Okay." wilhelm: *pulls out a small flute and plays* -a small rabbit runs up to kyouka- Kyoka: *shiny eyes* "Ooooooo..." rabbit: there's a party~ there's a party~ come and join the fun with us~ Kyoka: "Yes..." Kunikida: "??? Yes what?" rabbit: *dancing away to an alley* Kyoka: *smiles, giggles, runs* Kunikida: "???! Hey!" *follows* wilhelm: and now the show... Jakob: "...can really start." wilhelm: fufufu -with the tanizakis- Tanizaki: "Um...Naomi? It's hard to stay incognito when--" naomi: but you look so cute in your shirt <3 passerby: ah, a young couple touring from the states? how cute. Tanizaki: ._________. *screaming internally* "L-Let's just keep walking and 'sight-seeing'..." -with atsushi and dazai- atsushi: um excuse me, sir? ???: "Hm?" atsushi: *checks book* <does the name 'ougai mori' ring any bells?> *PUNCH* Dazai: *down on the floor* atsushi: ._.;;;; Person: <DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT NAME TO ME, YOU NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY BOY!> atsushi: ._.; <why....not?> Person: <Why not?! Have you not heard how horrifying that crazy old man was?!> atsushi: <well...> *looks at dazai* Dazai: *pops up* <We heard really creepy ghost stories about him--> *PUNCHED AGAIN* atsushi: <well, we heard the name in passing, and figured we could use him as a basis for our assignment! we're university students.> Person: *leans closer* <Beware...That man's house is haunted...> atsushi: <really?> Person: <Really...There is a reason the police closed off access to that madman's laboratory of death.> atsushi: <thank you then. we'll be on our way> Dazai: XwX atsushi:.....*drags him along* odasaku: ._.; -meanwhile- Stein: *walking down the street* soul: *grumbling* cant believe i got jipped by those little conboys =~=; Stein: "You need to learn how to deal with children, especially if you're going to be teaching them." soul: i guess.... Stein: "..." *nudge* "You screwed up. It happens with kids." soul:...i cant tell if that was a pun or not... Stein: *raises a brow* soul:......aaand im shutting up. Stein: -_-# "Just...no." *clears his throat* "Will you be ready for the play?" soul: yeah. and that's...tonight? Stein: *nods* -with the tanizakis- Tanizakis: *snapping pics...for surveillance* naomi: *selfie with a wink and peace sign, while simultaneously doing surveillance* Tanizaki: "???" *points behind her* naomi: ??..... ._.; what the hell. man: *with a human sized doll* hehe~ <3 Tanizaki: .___________.;;;; "...Don't stare at the weirdo, Naomi." man: ... ?? oh? why hello~ are you tourists? Tanizaki: "Yes." ^^; man: well, i would like to recommend the theater tonight. an acquaintance of ours is preforming, isnt that right, dearest~? *the doll doesnt say anything* hehehe~ so sweet~<3 *kiss* Tanizaki: *protective stance in front of Naomi* "Oh? Which theater?" man: *hands them 6 tickets* consider it a gift. <come along, christine~> *walking away* Tanizaki: ._______.;;; *looks down at the ticket* -it's a showing of the nutcracker for that night- naomi: *counting*....wait how did you- -the man has vanished- Tanizaki: "...Spooky..." *flips open the phone, texts Kunikida* -in the alley- Kunikida: "Kyoka! Stop!" -the bunny has vanished- Kyoka: *looking around* "Where did it go?" ???: fufufufu~ Kunikida: "???!" *opens his book* wilhelm: well well well, what will we do with these two, jakob? Jakob: "Two lost souls, Wilhelm?" wilhelm: indeed, indeed~ now, how are we going to mess with them? Kyoka: *glares, opens her flip-phone* wilhelm: maybe they want to play with our friends, do you think? Jakob: *smiles* "Oh, I hope so." *Something shadowy appears at Kunikida's feet* Kunikida: "!!!" gretel: hehehe~ *A hand grabs Kyoka's wrist* hansel: lets play, yeah? -the two toss them into a wall- Kunikida: "GAH!" Kyoka: *hits the wall--her finger hitting a button on her phone* hansel: eh? -...- atsushi: ??.....!!! dazai, come on! Dazai: "???" *follows* "What is it?" atsushi: kyouka and kunikida are in trouble. seems we have enemies here. Dazai: "Hmm...Those two should've been able to handle that..." *follows to the spot* gretel: boo, these two are dull, so dull. wilhelm: yeah, at least entertain us! Kunikida: *trying to reach for his book* *manages to flip a page with his foot* "Come on, come on…" gretel: *grabs his foot and throws him* Kunikida: *crashes into the grabage cans* "--Poet! Fl--" Jakob: *covers Kunikida's mouth* "A-Ah! Can't have you--" Kunikida: *bites Jakob's hand* Jakob: Q_____Q *loud wail* wilhelm: D8< HEY!*aims his slingshot at kunikida* Kyoka: *pressing buttons on the phone* "Come on--come on--work!" Kunikida: *glares at Wilhelm* wilhelm: *fires a pebble at him* Kunikida: *right above his eye* "AH!" *lets go* Jakob: Q_Q *clutching his hand* "M-Meanie! Stupidhead!" wilhelm: <KICK HIM IN THE BALLS!> Jakob: <Right!> *pulls back his leg--* *Something grabs Jakob by the ankle--and swings him up in the air* Jakob: Q______Q <WHY MEEEEEEEEEEEE...> *disappears into the sky* Kyoka: "..." *smirks at Wilhelm* wilhelm: D8> Kyoka: "Demon Snow...Discipline this brat." demon snow: ~understood~ -CLANG- hansel: *defending wilhelm* Kyoka: "...So, you have one of those, then...Demon Snow, get through the child." -SLASH- hansel: *in half* gretel: !!! why you-! ???: "Hello." gretel: OwO;; Dazai: ^w^ "Are you a good child?" wilhelm: OwO;;;;;;; *gulp and tries to run* Dazai: *picks up the kid by the collar--as Wilhelm keeps running in place in the air* gretel: *charges at him* Dazai: "Atsushi~" -CRASH- -a tiger stands in the center, holding jakob like a small kitten- wilhelm: O_O;;;;;; Jakob: Q_____Q *he's urinated on himself* wilhelm: <brother why.> Jakob: <I FELL FROM 50 FEET IN THE AIR--THAT'S WHY!> Dazai: "And now, to eliminate the ability--" *puts Wilhelm over his knee* gretel: *still attacking* Dazai: *pulls back his hand* -one change of pants and punishment later- wilhelm: Q~Q Jakob: Q__________Q "How mortifying..." wilhelm: he's not human. Kyoka: "..." *leans forward* "Which of you created the rabbit?" wilhelm: that was me. i can create illusions to lure people. but they can only see if if they're 16 or younger....IM NOT GONNA USE IT FOR ANYTHING WEIRD LATER! >3< Kyoka: "???" wilhelm: n-nevermind. >3<;; Jakob: "Brother, please..." -_-; Kyoka: "..." *deadly serious* "Bring back the rabbit. Now." bunny: *appears* Kyoka: ^u^ *watches the rabbit* Dazai: "Okay, Thing 1 and Thing 2--who you working for?" atsushi:.....??? wilhelm: we'll gladly....NOT tell you! Dazai: "..." *claps his hands* Kunikida: -_-# "Please. You're going to be a parent. Try other tactics than corporal punishment. Atsushi, talk to them." atsushi: um....hey kids. why did you decide to pick on us? ^^; Jakob: " 'CAUSE YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF ABILITY USERS AND WE HATE YOU!" wilhelm: ...bro, _we're_ ability users too, remember? so are the other- *covers his mouth* O-O;;; Jakob: "!!! Why did you have to say that?!!" wilhelm: I PANICKED! DX> ???: there you two are. atsushi: ?? -a young lady with short lavender hair appears- lady: honestly you two... wilhelm: QuQ miss hans! we're saved! Jakob: *holds out his arms* "Get us out of here!" Dazai: "???" Kunikida: "...I'm afraid we are not letting these two ability users leave with you..." hans: im sorry for my students, they can be a bit....rowdy. wilhelm, jakob, over here. Jakob: *inches over to Hans* wilhelm: *already hiding behind her* HISSSSSS Jakob: *sticking out his tongue at Atsushi* Kunikida: "!!! Now hold on! I just said that these two are in our custody on account of--" Dazai: *takes Hans's hand* hans: e-eh? atsushi: (oh. oh no.) Dazai: *smiling, with a smooth voice* "Tell me...Have you ever considered drowning in the sea alongside a beautiful man~?" Jakob: "EW!" >_< "This mummy wants to do pervy things!" hans: ...... -SLAP- Kyoka: *shame-face at Dazai* hans: HOW DARE YOU!! DX< Kunikida: ._. Dazai: XwX "Yes, please, harder~" hans: *disgusted* atsushi: we are so sorry about him ma'am. he's- um.... Kunikida: "An embarrassment to all humanity." Kyoka: "A cyst on the backside of our society." Jakob: "A pervy mummy!" wilhelm: monster hands! *The comments are word balloons stabbed into Dazai's back* odasaku: if i were alive still, i'd probably die right now of second hand embarrassment. hans: in any case, we'll be taking our leave. *the three exit* atsushi: you really are shameless, dazai. Dazai: *bolts upright--his face has steam coming off the slap-mark* atsushi: *wince* ouch. Dazai: "..." *pats lightly* "Ah! ..." *winces* =w= "Such warm hands..." atsushi: -__-; dazai, please, never get married. Kyoka: *grabs one cheek* Dazai: "!!!" Kunikida: *grabs the other* Dazai: Q_Q Kyoka and Kunikida: "YOU WERE WRECKLESS, PERVERTED, UNSATISFYING, HORRIFYING, BELLIGERENT--" Dazai: "Atsushi, help! It's in stereo now!" atsushi: you brought this on yourself. Dazai: D8> *Kunikida's phone alarm goes off* atsushi: ?? Kunikida: "Oh, right--have to check in with the siblings. Kyoka, take over." *lets go, dials Tanizaki* atsushi: ... Kyoka: "Of course." *grabs Dazai by both cheeks, pulls him down* "--PEOPLE ARE TO BE TREATED AS PEOPLE, NOT AS FLESHY PLEASURE-BOTS FOR YOUR INNATE SICKENING DESIRES TO EJACUL--" atsushi: *covers her mouth* ssshhhhh. not here. Kunikida: *waiting for someone to pick up* naomi: yello~ Kyoka: *mummer mutter grunt annoyed glare* Dazai: Q_Q "That second muttering hurt, Kyoka..." Kunikida: "Status report." naomi: seems some guy gave us tickets for a show tonight. 6 in total...seems kind of suspicious, given he only spoke to bro and i. Kunikida: *sigh* "Obviously a trap. Still, if we want to uncover what is happening, we will have to pursue with caution." naomi: welp, plot as plot demands, i guess. Tanizaki: "???" naomi: n-nevermind. dress formal, ok? Kunikida: "Yes. We'll see you at the theater, if not beforehand at the hotel." *looks* "Which of you did not pack something formal to wear?" Kyoka: "..." *gestures, as if to say 'What, this isn't?'" Dazai: *standing there, scratching his behind* atsushi: .... is this considered 'formal'? Kunikida: "..." *Excalibur face* "J-Just...Just follow me..." -elsewhere- higuchi: *looks out window of the bus* Motojiro: "How much further?" higuchi: not too far. just a few kilometers away. Motojiro: "...Should we have brought more, um, 'protection'?" higuchi: >->;;;;; that's your business, not mine! leo: ... ?? Motojiro: -_-;;; "I meant the g-u-n-s and w-e-a-p-o-n-s?" higuchi: oh.....ehehehe... of course... ^^; Motojiro: *sighs, looks at Leo* "How are your shoes?" leo: they're fine. Motojiro: "Okay. There could be rough terrain..." leo: *nods* right. Motojiro: "And we'll need refreshments..." *pulls out lemonades* "...They confiscated my lemons." TTwTT higuchi: *sweatdrop* Motojiro: *saddest sip of lemonade ever* leo: *pat pat* -elsewhere- Kyoka: "What was any of this? Illusions..." atsushi: probably. *helping her with her hair* Kyoka: "Thank you...Good work catching that child after he got flung up." atsushi: yeah. if he had fallen....*shakes head* nevermind..... Kyoka: "...I went overboard." atsushi: *pat pat* Kyoka: "..." *nods* "...They were creepy, though." atsushi:....if what fukuzawa told us  is true, we should be careful. Kyoka: "Right..." *looks at Atsushi* "I think we wouldn't have had the same problems if Kunikida had been more prepared." atsushi:....yeah..... -elsewhere- Kunikida: *reading* dazai: kuuunikiiiidaaaa. Kunikida: -_-# "What?" dazai: you still mad? Kunikida: *turns, stares* dazai:......something's bothering you, and not my usual bullshit. Kunikida: "I'm fine..." *stares closer at his book* dazai: ...hey, i know that look. it's a look i've worn all my life. Kunikida: "...You're misreading." dazai:....its that child still, isnt it? Kunikida: *slams the book shut with a load CLAP* dazai:..... Kunikida: *turns slowly, tears in his eyes* dazai:....*hugs* it's not your fault. fyodor pulled a fast one on all of us... Kunikida: *pushing him off* "L-Let go...It's not just..." dazai:....you're a good man, kunikida. dont forget that. Kunikida: "...What good man watches people die and does nothing?" dazai: we're not perfect. we make mistakes... Kunikida: "..." *holds up his book, without looking* "It's called an 'ideal' because it is perfect, without mistakes. I want to learn from these mistakes...and I don't know how when the same mistake keep happening..." dazai: hey, look at me. i make mistakes all the time. but i guess its just stubbornness that keeps you going, because that's just who you are. Kunikida: *sudden annoyed face* " 'Stubborn'?!" dazai: even with how cruel the world is, you never stop going. Kunikida: "..." >\\\> "What other choice?" dazai:...*small smile and hug* you remind me a lot of him... Kunikida: "???" dazai:...just thinking out loud... Kunikida: "..." *pat pat* dazai:.... -elsewhere- Jakob: TT~TT hans: honestly, you two... ???: so what did you find out about our little visitors? Jakob: "THEY'RE JERKS!" wilhelm: they're scary! Jakob: "The one with the weird samurai woman threw me into the air! It wasn't fun!" wilhelm: and there was a tiger and a pervy mummy! Jakob: "And this ugly four-eye guy and some little girl!" ???: and their abilities? -hans explains what all she knows- ???: so the infamous weretiger has shown up here? how curious... Jakob: ._. "??? We should know him?" ???: apparently he's the talk of the town in the states and with the order. Jakob: Q_Q "Should we have killed him?" ???: no no. im curious to see what the fuss is all about. i'll send a call in to kafka. Jakob: "...Heeeeeee...seems kinda stressed?" -briiing. briiiiiing. briiiiiiing- ???: *answering* "WHAT?!" ???: oh good, you're there. we need you and walter to look into some things. be a dear and do that, ok~? Phone: Q_Q "THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER! It-It doesn't add up--Then I'm told one thing, then do another--No consistency--NO CONSISTENCY! Why can’t it just be phrased clearly, directly, on time--COULD SOMEONE TELL THEM TO STOP HAMMERING SO LOUDLY! I can’t think!” ???: too loud, so annoying. put walter on the phone, he's easier to deal with. Phone: "?! F-Fine! If that's how you feel..." *starts to twitch, rub his cheek* "H-Here, you talk to them..." ???: *whistling*....he's doing that badly again, huh? Walter: *doing yoga poses while holding the phone* "Sad, huh?" ???: yes. honestly, that boy's going to get hemorrhoids. oh, and also i need you to look into the history of our little agency friends. Walter: *standing on his head* "Oh, they came? Sweet!" *puts the call on speaker, looks up info on his phone* "Yeah, I've had a file on them for a few weeks--" Kafka: "SHOW OFF!" T~T Walter: *smiles* "It's a hobby..." ^^; ???: since leroux gave them the tickets for tonights show, let miss hoffman know to make it a performance they wont soon be forgetting~ Walter: "Totes. Any strategy help she needs?" *projects a map of the theater* "I had some ideas how to contain the Ability Nullifier Mummy..." ???: make sure she's fighting at least two people maximum. have leroux handle the others. Walter: *typing the parameters* " 'Kay, 'kay, that's do-able...Hmm...Etta does well with some close-in fighting, so the long-range fighters aren't the best plan..." -meanwhile- Stein: *adjusts his tie* soul: *checks phone* Stein: "Waiting for something?" soul: just checking to see when the show starts... Stein: "Hmm. Any reason to arrive too early?" soul: *shrug* Stein: "The correct answer is we spy around the location..." soul: *nods and looks around* ???: "STOP. USING. YOUR. TIE. AS. A. NOOSE!" soul: ??? Dazai: "I wasn't! I was simply tightening it--" *his face is purple* soul: hold still sir. *cuts it* there.... Dazai: *inhales* *breathes more calmly* "..." *slight glare* "I liked that tie..." soul: you looked like you were choking, just helping you out. Dazai: "..." *takes off his jacket* "Atsushi, hold my jacket--" atsushi: ._.;; um.... soul: ?? sir? Dazai: *grabs Soul by the collar* soul: h-hey! ._.;; Dazai: "How'd you like it if someone took away something from your outfit, you little shark-toothed thing-a-ma-bob?" soul: h-hey, lets just calm down- atsushi: dazai. not now. Dazai: =3= "I just have to make a show before the show..." Kunikida: -_-# Tanizaki: ._.; atsushi: *ear tug* no. i am so sorry sir. soul: it's fine... 7-7;; Stein: "??? Atsushi?" atsushi: ?? !! mr stein! fancy seeing you here, sir! owo; Stein: "Same...I don't remember you putting in a request for a mid-semester vacation." atsushi: it's a work thing. ^^;; naomi: so this is one of you and kyouka's teachers? Stein: "Franken Stein, yes." naomi:....*small chuckle* Kunikida: "...We had taken Atsushi out for this trip." Stein: "???" atsushi:....so....who's this? soul: just call me 'soul'. Dazai: *whispers* "The fight of the glasses..." atsushi: dazai shush. huh, interesting name. soul: seems to be a frequent thing. *side glance* atsushi: *awkward laugh* naomi: ??? what's he looking at? Tanizaki: *glances* "Beats me..." atsushi: try not to worry about it. -elsewhere- leo: *shiny eyes* Motojiro: ^^; leo: thank you again for this, motojiro. Motojiro: "Happy to...Anything..." leo: ...*smiles* r-right. Motojiro: "..." *awkward cough* "C-Comfy seats, yes?" leo: *she nods* Motojiro: "Can you see well?" leo: yes. -elsewhere- Lucy: *yawns, washing plates* "..." *looks outside* -quiet out today- Lucy: *puts away the plates* ("Guess that's it for today...") *The door rings as it opens* lucy: welcome to the vo- Akutagawa: "..." lucy: oh...hello. *SCREAMING INTERNALLY* Akutagawa: "...This was the first place I saw, I'm hungry, it's cold outside, and I have money." *sits down* lucy: pleeeease take all the time you need sir. (FUCK) -later- lucy: -_-; *siiiiigh* Akutagawa: "...I think a 5 percent tip is fair." lucy: thank you for your patronage. Akutagawa: "...Has he called you?" lucy: *she nods* Akutagawa: "...He is alive?" lucy: of course he's alive. Akutagawa: "No need to be snippy...Did he mention me?" lucy: no, he hasnt. Akutagawa: "..." *quiet* "Oh." lucy:.... -after her shift ended- lucy:....do you _have_ to follow me? Akutagawa: "...If something happened to you (that I didn't do), the Tiger would never forgive me." lucy: ...ok, _why_ are you so obsessed with him, huh? Akutagawa: "...He's powerful." lucy: is that all? Akutagawa: "Power is a challenge to get better. To do more. He's an example, isn't he?" lucy: i guess....but is that the only reason? Akutagawa: "...I am attracted to him." lucy: .... Akutagawa: "His...personality is not...awful, I suppose." lucy: yeah. even if he's not 'prince charming material', im happy with him. *smiles* Akutagawa: >\\\\> "..." *nods* lucy: he's doing his best, and i appreciate it... i do worry im a bit pushy with him. *sigh* im a real doofus, huh? Akutagawa: *too fast* "Yes." lucy: ... 'why no lucy, you're not too pushy' or 'your not a doofus at all!'..... thaaaaanks. Akutagawa: "...I'm not good with small talk. And I don't think you're pushy. I think you're stubborn." lucy: ..... Akutagawa: "You don't seem to shake off what you seek. That's not so different from the Tiger hunting his prey...or an assassin after a target." lucy: that's....an interesting analogy. >->; Akutagawa: "What, have you gone soft since leaving that guild of yours?" lucy: watch it, dip dye. Akutagawa: *narrows his eyes* "...You're fortunate I promised the Tiger." lucy: ^u^ Akutagawa: "Hmph. Might as well get you to your residence before weirdos come out this night." lucy: i can make the last block myself. (if he sees the mafia boss there....) Akutagawa: "I insist. ...Or are you afraid?" lucy: im fine, really. im not helpless. Akutagawa: *walks ahead* "The Tiger would kill me if you were injured, so just take the damn offer." lucy: D8 HEY! Akutagawa: *keeps walking* lucy: *chasing after him* Akutagawa: "Pick up the pace, Doll Girl." *sees the apartments* "There they are." lucy: yes, now i can be on my wa- Akutagawa: *turns around* "Yes, I suppose you can." *The curtains open--and Mori looks out the window* Lucy: O-O;; Akutagawa: *not facing the window* "I suppose this is good night." Mori: O_____o lucy: YESINDEEDGOODNIGHT *makes a 'get back' motion with her hands* Mori: *hides down* Akutagawa: *raises an eyebrow* "...Is that a new way of saying 'good night'?" lucy: im telling you to skedaddle. shoo shoo. *heads on in* Akutagawa: "...Well, good night." *turns* lucy:.... *phew* -elsewhere-

[ralphmorgan-blog1]

The difference between smartphone gimmick and game changer

Its hard to find a legitimately bad flagship phone these days. Sure, one peeks its head out from time to time, but on a whole most phones are pretty good. The screens, the cameras, the internals. There are always a few bits that could use improving (see: battery and durability), but the gulf between good and bad isnt any near where it once was.

And for the past several generations, most flagship devices even more or less look the same. Sure, the fingerprint reader/home button gets moved around here or there, but most casual observers probably couldnt pick a non-iPhone/Galaxy out of a lineup. Perhaps its a matter of copied intellectual property, or maybe there really is an ideal form factor for a pocket-sized communication device thats mostly screen.

Its tough to distinguish yourself when youre not a top-tier smartphone company a qualifier that, in the States at least, seems to apply to pretty much everyone who isnt a Samsung or Apple. Given how cut throat the overcrowded industry can be when youre not in the two top (and, lets be honest, even if you are), its no surprise that the many companies seem to be looking increasingly toward distinguishing factors.

Gimmicks arent bad in and of themselves. After all, once it hits mainstream acceptance, its not really a gimmick anymore. Its a standard feature. Take waterproofing. When a handful of manufacturers started dipping their phones in aquariums at trade shows, it initially seemed like a cry for attention. But we kind of all secretly wantedone. A few years later, its a no-brainer for flagships because its not just about going snorkeling, its about getting caught in a downpour and, yes, accidentally dunking the thing in the toilet.

Sometimes a bag full of dry rice just isnt enough.

The flipside of that is the Alcatels A5 LED. Its the phone equivalent of those L.A. Lights shoes from the 90s, with heels that flashed every time they hitthe ground. Its a hail Mary pass of sorts and a tacit acknowledgement that maybe smartphones arent much more than big, expensive toys.

A good gimmick, on the other hand, is one that actually brings something to the experience of owning a phone. Its a rare moment of thinking outside the box that, if pulled off successfully, can actually be a cause to rethink things. LGs own numbers have stumbled a bit, but thats not for lack of interesting ideas. The company was among the first to introduce a dual-lens camera (the V20) and to offer a taller form-factor (G6), both of which are becoming standard features in flagships.

Of course, those handsets are also great examples of how a good gimmick alone isnt enough to make a phone a success. An even more obvious example comes in the form of the G5. The handset was released at what seemed the height of interest in modular phones. But the result was downright disastrous, with the phone shouldering much of the blame of the companys resulting financial straits. That didnt, however, mean that modularity is doomed to failure. Announced not all that long after the G5, Motorola/Lenovos Moto Z line has been a marked success for the company. Its already announced millions sold an accomplishment for a line many simply wrote off at launch.

The differences between the execution of the phones is pretty stark. For starters, the Z is a solid piece of hardware, an object lesson in that fact that you cant rest on gimmick alone. The magnetic power system is also the best modular execution to date. And then theres the fact that the phone launched with multiple useful mods. Like a game console needs games, a modularity phone without mods is a pretty usefulness proposition.

Of course, singular success for Motorola does not translate to a game changer in this case. Other companies are likely flirting more with the idea of modularity, but its not like several other companies rushed out to launch their own modular solution in the past year.

The jury is still out on the HTC U11. Even more so, really, as the phone hasnt even hit the market. For now, though, Edge Sense seems like little more than a gimmick. The actual functionality it brings to the handset is limited at best. The company has promised more uses for the squeezable sides moving forward, but the ability to launch apps isnt the sort of compelling feature that drives users to buy phones.

Theres nothing wrong with a gimmick, so long as it isnt a gimmick for its own sake. To be successful, it needs to bea meaningful feature that adds usefulfunctionality to a device, executed in a way that doesnt detract from the rest of the phone experience. And its important not to be myopic. Manufacturers cant rest on its laurels and skimp on the rest of the hardware and software.

Otherwise, you might as well be selling light up sneakers.

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[viralhottopics]

Six-month-long stretches of seven-day work weeks and looming deadlines: What it takes to be a strategy guide author

Image: Christopher Mineses/mashable

Ancient map-making required mastery over the disciplines of mathematics and astronomy, the means and courage to venture into dangerous uncharted territories, inhuman patience, artistry and attention to detail, and the ability to perch on the cutting edge of every new technological advancement your cultures most talented minds could muster. David Hodgsons job is arguably more difficult and certainly more tedious.

Hodgson makes video game strategy guides which, much like ancient cartography, is a lost art of primitive methods and painstaking processes.

Not that Hodgson would complain. He started working at gaming magazines in the 90s, but was always drawn back to the world of strategy guides. Currently working on contract for Prima Games, the largest strategy guide publisher in the US, he gets access to some of the biggest games in the world months before the public. And he slaves over their every detail, spending months and months gorging on each new obsession.

I think it’s one of those jobs that you kind of have to pinch yourself, he told me in his workshop a converted guest house behind his Spanish-style Southern California home. The room is equipped with comfortable seating, a large wraparound desk housing three monitors, countless books most of them strategy guides lining floor to ceiling shelves on one wall, and various macabre knick-knacks, from Lovecraftian posters to the crown jewel: Two replica Egyptian sarcophagi flanking the flatscreen like golden guardian deities.

It’s one of those jobs that you kind of have to pinch yourself.

Exact statistics about strategy guide sales are closely guarded info, Douglas Walsh, another longtime strategy guide author, told me over Twitter. As you can imagine, the sales today have consolidated around a few big hits: Skyrim, Grand Theft Auto, things like that, he said. [Sales] have also dropped off considerably, especially for shooters. The Call of Duty and Gears of War books sell a fraction of the copies they used to. But a big hit, especially as a Limited Edition hardcover, can crack Amazon’s top 25. Fighting game books in particular (and Skyrim, GTA, etc.) have even cracked the top five.

Despite those isolated successes, the number of guides produced each year is down along with sales to about 60 every year, half of what the figure was in the PS2 era, Walsh said.

Like vinyl records, the strategy guide as we once knew it all but died as a medium with the internets rise, transforming by necessity into a niche market for hardcore collectors and hobbyists. Hodgson said hes one of around a dozen remaining strategy guide authors.

In the middle of the afternoon, the rays of golden California sunlight barely grazed the exposed rafters of Hodgsons lair. He wore a black t-shirt with the words Who are you a ghost of? a reference to his brother Ian Hodgsons experimental musical act, Moon Wiring Club, described on its own labels website as confusing English electronic music. Hodgson often speaks wistfully of his succulents, and hes frequently sarcastic, though in the dry English way that you barely register after a while.

Each guide Hodgson authors is a massive undertaking involving a six-month-long stretch of seven-day work weeks and looming deadlines, gargantuan organizational conundrums, word counts and page limits, two-week spans of 12-hour days spent hunched over monitors far from home in a game studios back room, trying to beat every quest in a 100-hour RPG. Hes been doing this long and well enough with somewhere over 100 guides to his name (he lost count around 80) that he gets to pick what games he tackles. He mostly chooses massive role-playing games like The Witcher 3 and Fallout 4, simply because he loves diving deep into overwhelmingly huge projects. These are the types of games that seem to get more complex with every release. Each new feature Hodgson must chronicle and quadruple-check is another grey hair in his tangled beard.

I have a very understanding wife, Hodgson said.

***

The process of creating a video game strategy guide is shockingly complex. Look, for example, at what it takes just to make the hundreds of maps that go into the average guide on which Hodgson works.

In the old days the 90s hed draw maps freehand on graph paper and hand them over to a designer. But the games back then were significantly smaller than the ones he writes guides for now.

He starts by doing fly-overs in a special debug version of the game that still contains developer tools, taking screenshots of every single inch of the games exterior locations. In the case of Fallout 4, that included 3.82 square miles of irradiated wilderness and crumbling city streets.

What I’ve done is I’ve flown over the entire tiles of the map, multiple times, inch by inch. I do a north-south pass, I do an east-west pass, over the course of a week, he said. This isn’t playing the game. This is me floating above each sector in the game and plotting it out.

This isn’t playing the game. This is me floating above each sector in the game and plotting it out.

The game wont be out for several months, and its still very much in development, which unfortunately means that dozens of the points he and his assistants and co-authors have plotted in these exteriors could change.

Then you have 500 maps that need to be drawn of all of the different interiors in the game, he continued. You have to figure out first how many interiors there are in the game. So you go to every location in the game, and you see how big it is, then you estimate it, then you tell [strategy guide maker] Prima, ‘It’s going to be about this big. Find more mappers please.

At this point, hes still far from done. I’ve figured out how many primary locations there are. I’ve then figured out how many secondary locations there are that don’t appear on your worldmap. Those are just like, Oh, it’s a shed. Does it appear as an icon on the world map? No. Shit. Well, it has to go in the guide, he said. I’m talking about stuff that isn’t even a quest-related location. I’m talking about a pond with some barrels in it. Maybe he doesnt have to be that thorough not all strategy guides take inventory of every nonessential part of the environment the author can find. But thats just his personality, and its part of the reason hes so good at this job.

With the exterior and interior maps more or less complete, the rough versions based on screenshots are sent to a team of around 20 designers. Its now been weeks since Hodgson first received the early build of the game, and he hasnt even written anything yet.

He hasnt catalogued, sorted and described every single gun, sword, helmet, potion, blueprint, material, artifact, food, enemy, character, spell and skill in the game; he hasnt completed every possible branch of each and every quest, mission, side-quest, bounty, treasure hunt and optional objective; he hasnt compiled strategies for every mini-game, tactics for every boss, solutions to every puzzle and tricks for every fight; and he hasnt taken the hundreds screenshots that need to accompany it all.

A lot of it isnt playing a game necessarily its just checking something in a game and then checking it against an Excel document or a map or something like that, he said. If Im playing Skyrim for 6,000 hours over ten months with a co-author, Im not Woohoo! playing Skyrim; Im going here and checking to make sure that the guides accurate at that location.

The part of my brain that says ‘You don’t need to be this meticulous’ doesn’t work.

The games change in sometimes major ways, even after the guide goes to print. In that case all they can do is update the guides online component and point readers to the web should anything in the final book prove inaccurate. Whenever possible, though, Hodgson redoes a lot of work every time he gets a new build. For 2001s 007: Agent Under Fire, for example, he had to retake all of the screenshots two days before the game was going to go to print because they changed the color of one of the lasers, he said.

The part of my brain that says ‘You don’t need to be this meticulous’ doesn’t work, Hodgson told me.

***

Hodgson began working in the video game industry in the mid 90s after graduating with a history degree from the University of Sheffield in South Yorkshire, England. Hed wanted to become a history teacher, but instead used a PlayStation fan zine hed started called PlayStation Frenzy to get a job at Maximum, a new gaming magazine from a media company called EMAP.

He wrote massive 40-page features on individual games a precursor of things to come in his career while living on a disused German fishing trawler called the St. Michael that he says was moored illegally on the River Thames in London. They had to siphon power from a nearby car scrapyard.

It sounds quite idyllic, but it wasn’t, he remembered. It was dripping with different weird poisonous acid from roofs that hadn’t been sealed, and it was sort of slowly dissolving.

I kept my PlayStation, but not my sanity, he continued.

Maximum folded after seven issues, and Hodgson went on to a brief stint at Official Nintendo Magazine before receiving a call from Dave Halverson, publisher of the popular GameFan magazine.

Hodgson moved to LA and worked on his first strategy guides at GameFan for games like Super Mario 64, Soul Blade and Doom 64 under the magazines GameFan Books division. He flitted among various publishers and magazines until 2000. He called Prima, at the time one of the biggest strategy guide companies (its main competitor, BradyGames, would later be bought by publisher Penguin Random House and folded into Prima). He sent Prima his Metal Gear Solid guide, and they assigned him Armored Core.

That was 16 years ago and I’m still doing it right now, he said.

***

Hodgson flipped lovingly through his creations as we chatted, pointing out where hed embellished a simple description with some flowery joke, or where hed really gotten into it and written entire sections in the voice of a character from the game.

That love goes both ways CD Projekt Red, developers of The Witcher 3, built Hodgson his own tribute in the form of book merchant Marcus T.K. Hodgson, a character in the games Free City of Novigrad.

We just wanted to honor David for all the awesome work he does, CD Projekt PR Manager Radek Grabowski told me over email. This is just a tribute.

The Witcher 3 tributes Hodgson in the form of book merchant Marcus T.K. Hodgson

Hodgson seems to always go above and beyond. His humor is often self-deprecating, but hes also proud when he talks about some of the things hes accomplished within the limited medium of strategy guides, like the note he received from Hideo Kojima about his Metal Gear Solid guide in 1998.

Strategy guides were usually just go here, do this, go here, do that. I wanted it to be a bit more of an ‘official mission handbook.'”

He loved the guide. He liked the fact that I’d put box-outs for the history of the forklift truck in the first level, Hodgson said. Strategy guides were usually just go here, do this, go here, do that. I wanted it to be a bit more of an ‘official mission handbook,’ we called it. Kojima said hed shown the guide to his mother, who didnt really understand video games but of course knew what a book was.

For 2004s Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II Hodgson planned and orchestrated an easter egg on the strategy guides DVD pack-in: Pressing a secret combination on your DVD player remote results in a special menu where you can access videos in which the voice actor for HK-47, a popular droid from the games, quotes other famous fictional robots and AI. Hodgson was excited to get the voice actor involved for a secret he deemed so obscure although his assertion that Nobody A) cares or B) has ever found that, because we never published the easter egg code is more self-deprecating than accurate, based on the above YouTube video and this forum thread.

But he nevertheless lit up when he talked about it, or about the more creative work hes gotten to do, like A Fractured Land: Tales of the Northern Realms, a 96-page lore book that came with the hardcover edition of the official The Witcher 3 guide, or The Improved Emperor’s Guide to Tamriel, a 224-page illustrated guide to the lands of Bethesdas The Elder Scrolls Online that was packed in with the games Imperial collectors edition.

Hodgson wrote the Emperors Guide in character as the scholar Flaccus Terentius, conjuring the characters imagined journal entries as he walked the games fictional lands. It has annotations like Strange to find such Daedra worship among the devout, nestled next to detailed sketches, diagrams and paintings.

I studied history. Its sort of finding the evidence for something and then writing about it, and that was my transferrable skill, Hodgson said. If I wasn’t going to become a history teacher, I was going to maybe become a travel writer or something like that. And in a sense I am, except the places that I write about don’t really exist.

But travel writers dont go to Paris and painstakingly catalog every street sign and boulangerie.

Though travel writers much like strategy guide authors have been made obsolete. Why read a book about a place when you can simply search for photos of it on Instagram? Likewise, why buy an expensive book when everything you could want to know about every game ever made is a Google search away?

For one thing, you only have to look at one of Hodgsons guides to see the value for collectors and hardcore fans. And while the internet is always playing catch-up to catalog new releases in YouTube guides and Wikis, the official strategy guide arrives on day one (or earlier). That makes the physical strategy guide, ironically, the first choice for players who want instant, day one gratification.

“There’s a nice archaic nature to strategy guides that I enjoy. I can write about something that’s cutting edge, like Fallout 4, but I can publish it using 16th century technology.

Hodgson has his own reasons. I can’t show you the writings I’ve done for Maxim.com and Gamespy, because those sites aren’t there anymore, he said. Stuff disappears when you’re on the net. But this Akuji the Heartless strategy guide on paper, or in fact the Fallout 3 strategy guide that’s in the Library of Congress. So even after the bombs drop and we’re in the future apocalypse, you can go to the bunker down below the Library of Congress or even now, if you’d like to do it properly [and] you can search my books out. I think I’m the only person who will ever do that, but there’s a nice archaic nature to strategy guides that I enjoy. I can write about something that’s cutting edge, like Fallout 4, but I can publish it using 16th century technology.

***

Hodgson works on guides ten months out of every twelve, and he rarely plays video games for fun anymore. At the end of a long stretch, Im just sick of staring at screens, so I just go outside or I go and buy another aloe tree or an agave or a different type of succulent, he said. I maybe go on Facebook, but just to see what some of the people that I never get to see do. Friends.

You are suffering from extreme fatigue, and the dogs looking at you going I need to be fed and walked. Immediately, he said.

But if he quit tomorrow, hed still play games after a six-month sabbatical, at least. After your first week [off] youre just like Ah, sort of semi-retirement, this is great. This is fantastic, he said. And then another week goes by and youre sort of starting to get an itchy feeling. Cabin fever sets in. Youre like, whats next?

Hodgson recently wrapped up work on the Complete edition guide to The Witcher 3 and the official Watch Dogs 2 strategy guide, and at the time of writing hes putting the finishing touches on his Ghost Recon Wildlands guide. You can find his work wherever strategy guides are sold.

Mike Rougeau is a freelance journalist who lives in Los Angeles with his girlfriend and two dogs.

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from Six-month-long stretches of seven-day work weeks and looming deadlines: What it takes to be a strategy guide author