#sometimes she just so cute I must force internet stranges to look at her

[captainrufflebanger]

Have you seen her

Now you have

[yandere-ac]

Hey buddy, do you know a channel named Etce? It's a guy that makes gameplays of Animal Crossing, and his favorite is Maple. It's so funny how he sounds low-key like a yandere for her, with made me imagine what it would be if we, the darlings were villagers, and maybe the yandere villagers played the role of humans trying desperately to cage us in their islands lol (like Audie being human and trying to take you with her) sorry, it's just so shitpost idea I hoped it made you laugh a bit tho :D

Yandere Human Audie x Villager Reader x Yandere Human Raymond

Rescue me

Another day in hell. That’s pretty much how life was for you nowadays. Each day you wished it would be your last and everyday just got worse and worse. Even if you wanted it all to end, you couldn’t. But let’s start from the beginning shall we? Your name is Y/N. You are a F/A villager who, unbeknownst to you, was a REALLY popular villager. People had online groups talking about just how badly they wanted you, people drew tons of art of you, some really cute, other a bit...questionable. Some people were even selling you for millions of bells. Of course, it all started small. So when a moderately big group of people on the internet started to talk about how cute you were and how they wanted you, you didn’t put much thought into it. You were very flattered at their compliments and left it at that.

However, once it came out that you would be signing up for the nook inc island getaway package, all hell broke loose. It was the day before the move when you decided that, why not check out the little fan group you had. As much as you hated to admit it, you did get a small boost in confidence from all the nice people who seemingly liked you. And right now you were pretty nervous about the whole move. So you quickly typed in your name into your phone and searched up. Your eyes widened at what you saw once you hit search.

947 619 results in 0,8921 seconds. What the hell?! Why did your name have so many results?! This...this had to be some weird coincidence, I mean, maybe you just shared a name with a popular actor who just blew up. Yeah that’s probably it. But all rational thought left you head once you saw that the little group was now the top result, and the little group wasn’t so little anymore. No, quite the opposite. It had gone from maybe about 5000 people to around 230 000 people. Each and every one of them, praising you, talking about how much they loved you. Some of them even wrote out detailed descriptions of what they would do with you if they found you, things that made your face flush scarlet red, why in the world would someone write that?! What reason did they have?! You felt disgust and discomfort flow throughout your body. Now feeling even worse than how you felt before! Should you even move?! What if you encountered one of these weirdos?!

Yet, you still went. You couldn’t exactly cancel your flight now could you? You’ve already sold your home and you couldn’t buy it back. You just hoped that you didn’t get paired up with a crazy person. And still, it would seem like luck wasn’t on your side.

Knock knock knock

Oh god.

“Y/N! Good morning my sweetheart!” And so, it began. You turned to look at the human in front of you, trying to push down your instincts to whimper and tremble. You had found it easier when she believed you weren’t horrified of her. Last time you shook in her presence she came very close to you and asked what was wrong. When you told her she was scaring you she simply picked you up and carried you to her house. There she spent the next 3 hours spooning and cuddling you, whispering various things in your ears all while you quivered in her arms, terrified of what she would do. Who was this woman? Why it was the island representative, Audie. The girl had long orange hair that went down to her waist and blonde bangs. On her head rested a pair of white sunglasses with purple glass, she never really used them for sun protection so you guessed it was for the aesthetic. She had yellow eyeshadow and winged eyeliner, bringing out her intense blue eyes. Eyes that would strike fear and dread throughout your entire body once they made contact with yours. She was wearing the same tropical muumuu that she always wore. Audie was looking at you with a big smile on her face. You would be lying if you didn’t say that she was a very beautiful girl. But all that beauty was overshadowed by a possessive and clingy nature. She was crazy, she saw you as hers and would make sure you belonged to her and her only. She seemed normal enough when you, her and a third islander moved to the island together. A little strange but still very bubbly and happy to be around you. You probably should’ve realised that she was one of your fans sooner than you did.

She would get annoyed when you hung out with the other resident, Kevin, a yellow bird. Soon you started to see her hitting him with a net, telling him to get out of the island along with other horrible things. And you realised that the more you tried to comfort and hang out with him the more Audie would hit him. You didn’t know what to do. You would report this behaviour to Isabelle but she told you that there was nothing she could do since Audie was the island rep. She was untouchable, and so, you could only helplessly stand back as Kevin was being harassed. You knew if you tried to intervene, Audie might do something more drastic. The whole situation was bad and apparently even Tom Nook has privately told Kevin that it might be for the best if he moved out.

All of the abuse led to Kevin finally moving out. You felt bad for the poor guy. But you were even more scared of Audie. What was truly scary was the fact that Audie had acted nothing but sweet around you. Giving you cute outfits and accessories and furniture. In a way it scared you more than if she would be hitting you as well. Because she was honestly terrifying when she acted nice around you. She would be unaware of how strongly she came off while near you. As a result she would usually be oblivious to your fear of her, which would result in very little personal space and a lot of touching. Not anything inappropriate, no, touching your shoulder, twiddling with your hair, stroking your arm, even giving big hugs that would shake you to your core. She was so much bigger than you, so to have her overpower you like that, you felt completely helpless in her strong grip. She could do anything and you would be powerless to stop it. And that’s why she was so much scarier when nice. She would practically drown you in affection that you did not want. Yet she either didn’t care or didn’t notice.

Going back to present day however. Audie was now walking towards you and you could feel yourself Yelp as she grabbed your hand and kissed you on the cheek. “H-Hello sweetheart...” you didn’t want to call her that, it’s literally that you couldn’t NOT say that. She changed your catchphrase to “Honey” and your nickname for her to “sweetheart”. So you had no choice but to call her that. You could feel your hands start to shake slightly and you tried to make it stop, but that only made you tense up in your whole body as trying to calm your nerves only made them worse. Audie was quick to notice this. “Oh? Why Y/N, your shaking. Is something wrong?” What do you say what do you say? “N-No I’m fine! I uh...I’m just a little cold that’s all...” you probably should have said something else as once she heard this, Audies eyes lit up and instantly you knew you weren’t gonna like this. “Awe you poor thing. Here let me help you!” And so, she lifted you up in her arms and carried you to your bed, where she proceeded to spoon you. At this point you figured you might as well not hold back, as long as she thought you were just cold and not afraid. And so, your whole body started to tremble. No matter how many times she did this, it would never be any less scary. “Oh my. Your shaking very bad. You must be absolutely freezing! Looks like we’ll be here for a while.” Shit.

But this sort of suffocating intimacy was not even the worst part of Audie. As island representative, she was the only one who could build and terraform the island. And she used that for bad things. The first thing she did when she found out she could move houses was to move yours next to her. After that, she completely surrounded both of your houses with a fence. Audie could exit the “yard” anytime, all she needed to do was pick up a part of the fence and put it down. But you, you were stuck. You could not get out and could only watch the island from inside your little “enclosure”. She also started to decide what you should wear. Sometimes she would give you cute clothing, things that you actually enjoyed wearing and felt comfortable with. Other times...other times she would give you skimpy outfits that barely covered you and made you feel very uncomfortable. At times like that you felt grateful no one else could see you. It was only you and Audie. But that didn’t exactly make you feel good. Anytime you wore them, Audie would squeal and blush and inspect you. She would walk circles around you, like a wolf circling a terrified bunny. Just waiting to pounce on it and sink it’s teeth into the poor critter. Luckily, Audie has never done anything...like that to you. She at least respected you enough to not force you to do anything. And that was at least a comfort for you. It was one of the very few comfort you had.

However, you weren’t ALWAYS trapped. Sometimes, Audie would hold a strange sort of...event? It’s very weird. She would open the fence and let you wonder around but shortly after you could see people arriving through the airport and drop off hundreds of Nook mile tickets. It would be insane to see how much they would give Audie. And at first you didn’t know why, you were aware of the fact that some people sold their villagers, but from what you knew, Audie didn’t do that. It was only later that you realised why they were here. They were here for you. They would pay up to 200 nmt just so they could get an hour of talking with you. You thought that was really weird, but to be honest, you didn’t mind it at all. It was the only time you could walk around the island and you could even talk to other people. Those other people being the paying humans of course. But it was nice, you enjoyed talking to some of them. You didn’t particularly like the humans that would only gush about you, telling you how much they loved you, and only asking you about stuff over and over again. It was just tiresome and very annoying. But every now and again there would be the humans that would talk to you like a normal person. Those were your favourites. Out of everyone, three humans stood out to you.

The first one was a girl. She was pretty short, maybe a few inches taller than you. She had light brown skin with freckles and blond hair. Her eyes were big and said hair was tied up in two pigtails. She was wearing a beige layered tank dress that looked very cute. Her name was Coco. She used to see you all the time. She was a frequent costumer, but then one day she just...stopped coming. Maybe she ran out of tickets, maybe she just lost interest, or maybe she found or bought her own Y/N. Yeah, that was a concept that made you really freaked out. The fact that there was apparently a bunch of copies of you out there. It happens to everyone who buys the nook inc getaway package. Either way, it didn’t matter. She stopped showing up, and you never saw her again.

The second one was a tall chubby man with yellow curly hair and a brown moustache. His skin tone was a bright shade of yellow. His eyes were kinda narrow but you could still see his very prominent blue eyes. He was always wearing a red ringmasters coat, always wearing it with such pride, you thought it was very cute. His name was Chops. Chops was always very nice to you. He would treat you well and act like a gentleman, sometimes it would come off as a bit weird but you knew his intentions were good. But after one visit where he asked if you would ever like to see his island, you never saw him again. And you were really excited as well...you thought that you could get away from this place but...apparently not. You didn’t believe that he just stopped going here like Audie said. By now you were smart enough to know that Audie wouldn’t let ANYTHING like that fly. You see, she kept a close eye anytime someone was there to visit. It was all part of the deal. They would get to come and hang out with you just as long as she was there with you. She would of course stand back a little, giving you and the customer some space. But never the less, she would be there, watching.

And the third person was a tall skinny guy named Raymond. Out of all three, Raymond was probably your favourite. He was around the same age as you, maybe a year or two older. He was very pale, you got the impression that he wasn’t exactly the type of person to tan. He would wear a grey waistcoat with a blue tie. His hair was blond and very neatly kept, he was very adamant about being precise. He wasn’t a neat freak per say. But he wanted things to stay orderly. But one of the most captivating things about him was his eyes. He had heterochromia, his right eye was brown and his left eye was green. On top of his eyes were a pair of glasses. And although he himself had said that he didn’t like his eyes, you thought they were beautiful. And anytime you would say that, you could see his face heat up as he muttered a thank you. You really liked Raymond, and you got the feeling he liked you as well. You liked him a lot more than Audie and you hoped she didn’t figure that out. Because once that happened, Raymond would probably get thrown out and not be allowed to see you.

Luckily, you don’t think she suspected anything. She seemed to trust Raymond since she left you two alone when he was over for no extra charge. It was amazing really, you don’t know how he did it but he apparently got her to trust him. And you were grateful for that. Because you and Raymonds conversations were usually the most genuine out of all your interactions.

“Hey Raymond? Could I ask you something?” You asked the guy sitting next to you. The two of you were sitting under a cherry tree near by the beach. He looked at you with a smirk. “Of course you can! You can tell me anything my dear Y/N.” As he said this, you could feel a smile form on your lips. He was always so sincere with you. “Okay so...how many tickets have you spent visiting me? A lot right? Why wouldn’t you just save up those tickets to buy or go for a villager hunt to find a copy of me? Wouldn’t that be easier than spending so much just to get an hour of speaking time with me?” This so something that had bugged you for a while. You didn’t understand this man. Why would he spend so much just to talk to you? Raymond let out a deep chuckle at this, pushing up his glasses on the bridge of his nose slightly before looking at you.

“It’s because, my dear Y/N. I don’t want a “copy of you”. I want to hang out with the real you, you who are living on this island. You mean a lot to me, and to see you not remember me...well it wouldn’t feel right...” he said. You could feel tears prickle your eyes. Did he really mean that? Did he care so much about you? “Woah woah what’s wrong?! Was it something I sa-“ before he could finish that sentence, he could feel two small arms wrap around his waist. You were now crying into his chest, with him awkwardly trying to comfort you by patting your back. “Hey now, don’t cry. It’s okay-“ “No no it’s not! You don’t understand!” But as you said this, Raymond pulled you out from his chest, grabbing your shoulders as he stroked one of your cheeks with his hand. “But I wanna understand! Please Y/N! If there’s something going on, I want to know so I can help! Just...please...tell me what’s going on? I care about you Y/N...” as he said that you could feel your heart skip a beat. Should you....

And so, you told Raymond about the whole thing. You told him about Audie, about Kevin, about the strict rules. About everything. You tried to keep your breath steady but it was hard as all your emotions spilled out. Once you were done it was easy to see the disgust that lingered on Raymond’s face. You didn’t blame him. It wasn’t exactly the lightest thing to process. But after a few minutes of silence, Raymond grabbed your shoulder and looked at you with a serious yet sad look. “Y/N I-.....I’m so sorry....I didn’t know how bad Audie was and I-....I’ve been supporting her...I’ve been paying her nmt just so I could see you. I’ve been giving her the satisfaction and encouraged by directly contributing to-“ before he could continue you grabbed his hands. Raymond looked down at you and got the message. Right now there were more important things to dissolve rather than blaming someone. “Okay okay...you’re right. Well what can I do? Do you need anything?” He asked you. You didn’t know. Should you...yes. “Take me away from here.” You said short and simply. “What?” Raymond responded, making sure what he heard was real and not something he imagined. “Take me away from this hellhole! I don’t wanna live here! To Audie, I’m just some toy for her enjoyment. I don’t want to live here! I don’t want to live here! I don’t-“ Raymond quickly pulled you in for another hug. Both to comfort you, and to silence you. He didn’t want Audie to hear... “Okay okay. Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here Y/N....” Raymond got quiet for a few seconds, almost like he’s considering something. “Come to my island. You’ll be safe there and I’m sure my residents would love you.” He told you, gently stroking your cheek. “Thank you Raymond. Thank you so much!” “Of course Y/N. I promise you. I WILL get you out of here...”

And so, the two of you started planning. Planning on what to do, planning on how you’d do it. There was barely any time left for Raymond’s visits so he agreed to come back the next day. You and Audie waved goodbye to him as he entered the airplane and left the island. Audie grabbed your hand as she looked down at you. “Did you guys have fun? What did you guys talk about?” She was acting and talking very sweetly but you knew what that question meant. It wasn’t “I’m interested in what you discussed” it was “I’m paranoid and need to know what you were doing without me.” But by now you were used to these questions and knew how to get around them. “Oh you know, just life in general. He talked a little about how his island is going and I talked about my life. I told him about the delicious peach pie you made last week.” Any and all suspicion that Audie had melted away once you aged her a compliment. You knew that if you ever wanted to change the subject or get away with something, you needed to sprinkle in a compliment. And just like always, Audie let all of her guard down. “Aww! That’s so sweet of you! I love you so much!!!” And just like most times, she wrapped you up in a big hug. You tried to steady your breathing as you responded to her. “I love you to...” and you stayed like that for a couple of minutes before Audie released you. “Well I just wanted to say, this was the last visit! I’ve got so many Nook mile tickets now that I don’t even need any more! So you don’t have to interact with these weirdos anymore! And guess what? The first thing I’m gonna do is fix up our home. Maybe I can convince good old Tom Nook to give us that big Villa so we can live in the same house! Imagine it, we could hare the bed, I could hold you every night. We would eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together! I could spend my mornings and nights with you! Oh just thinking about it is making me all giddy!”

As she said this, you could feel your whole body tense up. Your eyes went wide and you felt all the air escape your lungs. You wanted to cry, to scream, to yell out for help. But only meekly whimpers came out of your throat. “Oh darling, you’re so happy you can hardly breathe! Well don’t you worry dear. There’ll be plenty of celebration time later!” “N-N-NONONO! H-Hold up i-why...why can’t we celebrate a little tonight? W-why don’t I...sleep at your house tonight? I-I mean if we’re gonna sleep together, we might as well start getting more accustomed to it...” as you said this, you could see Audies face turn into a shade of dark red. It seemed the two of you had very different ideas of what you would be doing once you shared a bed. Of course, nothing happened later that night, just you asleep in Audies arms. Her grip on you was very strong. To get out, you had to slither your way away from her, it took about 30 minutes to do this as any time you made a slight movement, Audie started groaning and moving. You had to be careful, if she woke up it was game over. Once you were free of her grip, you carefully searched the whole room for her phone, making sure not to step on any creaking floor boards in the process. After about 3 minutes, you found it lying on the nightstand next to Audie. So carefully, you approached it and picked it up from the table. Now walking out of the room, preparing to rummage through it. You entered all messaging apps and looked through them all to find Raymond. Finally you found a conversation between Audie and Raymond on an app called “Discord”. You wasted no time, quickly typing in a message for him. You just hoped he would be awake at this time...

“Raymond? Is this you? It’s Y/N. I’ve taken Audies phone. She’s planning on stopping the visits and she’s gonna limit my freedom even further. Please I need your help.” As you sent this you felt even more panic rush over you. The reality of the situation hasn’t quite settled in yet but now? Now you truly realised what could happen if Raymond didn’t help you. Your hands started to shake and your eyes filled with tears, it was getting harder and harder to breathe quietly. You needed to get out of the house before Audie heard you! But just as you opened the door you could feel the phone vibrate. It was Raymond! Before you opened the text, you quickly went out of the house, making sure to carefully close the door. After that you ran towards the big fence, it was higher than your entire body. But you couldn’t stay here. Looking around you saw a tree stump with a sharp golden axe lodged into it. Should you? You have no other choice! So you ran towards the axe, picking it up with struggle. And then, with all your might, all the pent up fear and anger, you struck the fence with force. After maybe two swings you had broken up a small part that you could fit through. And so, you ran, you ran to the beach near dodo airlines. Picking up the phone to look at the new message.

“Y/N?”

“Okay calm down, we’ll figure this out...I made a promise to help you and I’ll be damned if I don’t keep that promise.”

“What if I double the amount of nmt to see you? Would that work?”

You thought about it. But no. Audie wouldn’t care. “No, that’s not gonna work, Audie probably has ten thousands of tickets by now...” And after about 20 seconds you got a reply. “I’ve got it! Why don’t you go to the dodo airport, open the gates and tell me the dodo code!” This....this could actually work! You wiped your tears away and quickly replied. “Yes! I’ll go do it right now!” And with that, you quickly ran into the dodo airlines. You asked Orville to open the gates and that you wanted visitors, and after a quick weird look he complied, telling you the dodo code. He was probably not used to villagers wanting to go but it wasn’t exactly any rules against it. You pulled out your phone to text Raymond, he had left a message to you. “Alright! Let me go to the airport!” You smiled to yourself as you read this. Is this it? Are you really gonna escape? You texted him back. “The dodo code is B2GT7.” And now you just had to wait. You sat down on one of the stools in the airport, twiddling your thumbs as you waited. But then. Something awful happened.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?” You quickly turned around in shock to see the person you wanted to see the least. It was Audie, standing in the doorway. Her hair was disheveled and she looked this close to snapping. Your whole body started to shake more violently then it had ever done. “A-A-Audie?! I-I-I ca-an exp-plain!” You couldn’t keep your voice steady as you hastily backed up against Orvilles desk. Orville was looking at the both of you, very concerned but mostly scared. “YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUT HERE!!! ESPECIALLY AT THE DODO AIRLINES! WERE YOU GONNA FLY AWAY AND LEAVE ME!!!!” Audie was now approaching you at a rapid pace. It didn’t take long before she was towering above you. “I really thought I could trust you Y/N! But it seems I’ve been giving you to much freedom. Until we get the shared house, you’re gonna be locked inside my house!” As she said this, she grabbed a hold of your arm and started dragging you

away, you were punching and trying to pry off her hand but it wouldn’t budge. Once you were outside of the airport Audie continued. “Maybe I’ll have to put the new basement to use. Yeah, until we get the shared house, you’ll be chained up in my basement. I can’t trust you on the main floors, they have windows and I wouldn’t want you to escape again!” Once you heard this, adrenaline kicked in to the max. You used all your strength to kick Audie in the shin. She instantly released you to grab her leg. Letting out strings of grunts and curse words. You tried to run back to the airport again but Audie tripped you and grabbed your legs. Now dragging you back to the house. You tried to grab onto anything, digging your nails into the ground. But nothing slowed her down, she was determined to take you with her. So you cried out for help. Hoping that someone, ANYONE would hear.

And just then you could hear footsteps approaching and Audie letting out a grunt. Suddenly, her grip on your feet released and you could hear a big thud. Turning around, looking back, you could see Raymond. He was leaning over Audie, two hands pressed against her throat. He was strangling her! You quickly ran up to him and tried to pry him off. “Raymond no! Stop! Please stop!” He looked at you, hate in his eyes, yet none of that hate directed at you. You gave him a pleading look. And so, Raymond stood up. Taking his hands off her throat. Audie immediately started to cough, desperately trying to get air back into her lungs after it being forced out. Raymond wasted no time however. Grabbing your hand and running off to the airport. He slammed his hands onto the desk that’s Orville say by. “TAKE US AWAY FROM HERE! NOW!!!”

The flight home was very quiet. Neither of you wanted to bring up what happened before you left. Raymond felt ashamed over himself. He decided to try to break the silence. “Listen I-“ “you tried to kill her...” He didn’t know how to respond in a way that wouldn’t make him sound like a psycho. “...yeah...I did...I’m...im sorry Y/N. I tried to stop myself, but right then, that moment. When I saw how horrified you looked...I guess the adrenaline took over...a-and I know that’s not a valuable excuse! I know that! What I did was inexcusable! But...I don’t know, I guess I just lost control...” as he said this, you leaned your head against his shoulder. “I don’t care what happens to Audie. I care about what COULD have happened to you. What if she got loose and attacked you?! What if someone saw it and called reinforcement!? Do you really think I’m worth going to jail for!?” You turned around to look at him as you said this. There were tears flowing through your eyes. Raymond cupped your cheeks with his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears. He looked into your eyes and leaned closer, kissing your forehead. “You’re worth dying for Y/N...”

After maybe 2 minutes of flying you finally arrived at Raymonds island. Salamacis. You always liked that name and this would be the first time you ever visited Salamacis. The island was still very bright. It appeared to be around 5pm at the island when you arrived, and as the plane flew closer to the ground you could see the decor of Salamacis. It was beautiful, the entire island was decorated in a very classical manner. The ground was covered with stone paths except for the flower gardens full of white and black flowers. There were full of zen gardens everywhere, In fact the whole place screamed of “Zen”. It was very nice. You could also see the occasional islander running around. Some of them saw the plane and waived, some of them even ran after the plane. And sure enough, as you and Raymond walked out of the airplane, A small group of villagers had gathered around you. They all looked curiously at you. Your grip on Raymond’s hand tightened, but Raymond stroked it gently with his thumb, trying to calm you down. He let go as he walked toward them all, with you following behind him. “Everyone! This is my friend Y/N! She’s going to be living here from now on! I want you all to treat her with respect and kindness. As she is a new addition to the family.” Everyone was quiet for a few seconds before a small rabbit ran up to you. She was black with a few white spots here and there and had a black tuff of hair on her head right between her ears. She was wearing a black box skirt uniform and a black beret. “Hello! I’m Mari! Welcome to Salamacis! You’re Y/N huh? We’ve heard so much about you! If you want we can give you an island tour!” “Yeah! Let’s give them a tour!” “Follow us!” They all said as they ran away, you felt much easier as you ran after them. But you stopped midway and ran to Raymond. “Thank you Raymond. Thank you for everything.” And with that, you gave him a quick pick on the cheek and ran after the others. You got a feeling that you were gonna enjoy it here. Meanwhile, Raymond was standing by the airport wide eyed and blushing like crazy.

“So we don’t actually have an open plot for you to live in...so you’re gonna have to sleep in my house.” Raymond said as he led you up the stairs to the bedroom. “I know that it sucks that you just got out of the Audie situation and now still have to share house with someone, but don’t worry! I’m gonna sleep downstairs on the couch!” As he said this, you two arrived in the main bedroom. Just the mere sight of it made you let out a small “woah” to which Raymond laughed slightly. He thought your amazement was adorable. The room had a king sized bed in the middle, with a big fluffy rug under it. You went up to it and sat on the bed. The blanket was made with a soft material and the mattress was so comfortable that you practically fell into it once you sat down on it. You immediately laid down, basking in the comfortable material as you stretched. “So, again, if you need anything, and I mean ANYTHING, feel free to come down and ask. Alright? Goodnight Y/N.” And so, as you got down under the blanket, Raymond turned to walk down the stairs. “A-Actually Raymond? There is one thing I wanted to ask...” as you said this, Raymond made a total 180 and looked at you. “Yeah?” “Would you...would you sleep with me tonight?” Once you asked this, Raymond’s eyes went wide, it looked like there was about a thousand thoughts going through his head. “Y-yeah! Of course!” And so, he walked up to you. Lifting up the blanket and laid next to you. You crawled up to him, embracing him. And he did the same, he was wearing a silk rope with some imperial print. It felt very comfortable. You rubbed your face against him, feeling yourself drift off to sleep. “Goodnight Raymond....I love you...” and just like that. You were out like a candle. Raymond felt his heart beat faster. You...loved him?

“...hhhehheh....hehehe, oh Y/N...” Raymond laughed quietly to himself. He had you, he finally had you! After months of searching! After thousands of Nook mile tickets! At first, he just wanted one of you. But when he found out that you were the original you! That made him interested in you specifically. And that interest only grew and grew until it became a monster-like obsession. He wanted you, he needed you. He was gonna do everything it took to get you. When he attacked Audie, he went in full intention to murder her. Such a disgusting individual! How dare she treat you like nothing but a mere pet! Raymond felt ashamed for what he did, not because he regretted it, but because he did it in front of you. You should never have had to see that side of him. But not to worry, you would never ever HAVE to see him like that again! Now that you lived here with him there was nothing that could come between you and him! He was gonna treat you so much better than Audie did. You would be allowed to walk around freely! Talk to anyone you wanted! Dress in any way you wished! If he found you at the Ables sisters and you wanted the 1 000 000 bell crown? He would buy it! No questions asked! He would even let YOU decide where to place your house once you got it! ...but there’s no rush. If he could have you like this, next to him, for a few more weeks...maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing...he knew that he would eventually have to let you move out into your own home. After all, he just said that he wouldn’t be like Audie. But maybe a little bit more time with you wouldn’t hurt. You wouldn’t mind! The proof was right in his arms. He didn��t even suggest that he slept next to you, yet you still asked for it! And you said you loved him! Oh you were gonna be so happy here! He was gonna make sure of that. He’s your friend. Your saviour. The one who’ll always be there. The one who’ll always have time for you.

The one who rescued you.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Oh was this a shitpost idea? How about I turn it into a 6 0 0 0 W O R D F I C ? No but for real. This is probably one of my favorite ones. It was such an interesting idea and like...I got so much inspiration. Also sorry to the anon that wanted a wholesome happy ending. It’s more of a bittersweet ending. But if you feel bad for Y/N, I don’t think Raymond is gonna do anything since Y/N is pretty much in love with him. There. Happy ending! So yeah...more Raymond :D wooo! Hope y’all are hungry because I am serving some food! This time featuring friends as the villagers beck didn’t want to come up with villagers myself!

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the April 2021 Edition

I did not read Romeo and Juliet this month. I read a bunch of other books. Like, a bunch. More than one series. Because Big Bang burnout is real and grown adults missing their deadlines is a real good way to stress me out. So, I read a bunch. Good books, very bad books, books that caused limbs to flail. For positive and not-so-positive reasons. Naturally, all those reasons must be shared. Under the cut with occasionally long and rant-prone reviews, as well as spoilers. Beware of spoilers under the cut. Please keep telling me what to read, internet. My library wish list is almost comically long now.

GIVE ME ALL THE WORLD BUILDING AND SNARK AND FIGHTING! WITH MAGIC! AND SWORDS! IT’S MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!

Shades of Magic Series by V.E. Schwab

Kell is one of the last Antari—magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel Londons; Red, Grey, White, and, once upon a time, Black. After an exchange goes awry, Kell escapes to Grey London and runs into Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations. Now perilous magic is afoot, and treachery lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, they'll first need to stay alive.

— Picture it, approximately twelve forty-seven am. My husband is asleep. I am reading. The second book in this series ends. And I say, right out loud, at what might now be twelve forty-eight am, HOLY SHIT IT JUST ENDED. Justin thought we were under attack. No man has ever snapped awake quicker. He was not pleased. At least not in the same way that I was about these books. Which I goddamn LOVED. Loved. The world building. The magic. The banter. Rhy and Kell’s relationship. Once more. RHY AND KELL’S RELATIONSHIP. Which I might have cared about more than the romance??? Maybe??? I cannot get over how good this world building was. I know people have quips with it, and that’s fair. I saw the “twist” coming in the first book, and I think trying to preserve that left some plot holes that are understandably frustrating. Because Lilah definitely needed depth perception to fight as well as she did. Also did Schwab really refer to her as a cross dresser in her author’s note? Yikes. She wore a dude’s jacket, like—c’mon V.E. Other than that though. I loved it. Also shout out to @peglegsjones for suggesting this one in my 2020 post and call out to me for taking so long to read it.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can't pull it off alone. . . . A convict with a thirst for revenge. A sharpshooter who can't walk away from a wager. A runaway with a privileged past. A spy known as the Wraith. A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums.  A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes.   Six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist. Kaz's crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don't kill each other first.

— I’ve talked about how little I cared about anything that happened in Shadow and Bone before, but I kept seeing gifs of the Crows in the Netflix show and my brain was like: huh, I could like them. So, after some help from the very helpful internet, I’m happy to report I do in fact like them. At one point, I slunk into the couch. Like that’s how overcome with emotion I was. Kaz ripped a dude’s eye out! For Inej! Matthias loved Nina’s laugh! I would like to hug Jesper. Seriously, this hit all my high points and world building and banter and I lol’ed at “scheming face.” I would like my hold to come through faster on the sequel.

THEY DID NOT CALL INTERMISSION HALFTIME AND MY COLLEGE EXPERIENCE WAS WAY DIFFERENT THAN THESE KIDS

The Off Campus Series by Elle Kennedy

Hannah Wells has finally found someone who turns her on. But while she might be confident in every other area of her life, she’s carting around a full set of baggage when it comes to sex and seduction. If she wants to get her crush’s attention, she’ll have to step out of her comfort zone and make him take notice…even if it means tutoring the annoying, childish, cocky captain of the hockey team in exchange for a pretend date. All Garrett Graham has ever wanted is to play professional hockey after graduation, but his plummeting GPA is threatening everything he’s worked so hard for. If helping a sarcastic brunette make another guy jealous will help him secure his position on the team, he’s all for it. But when one unexpected kiss leads to the wildest sex of both their lives, it doesn’t take long for Garrett to realize that pretend isn’t going to cut it. Now he just has to convince Hannah that the man she wants looks a lot like him.

— The first book in this series was free on Amazon. So, I read it. And really liked it??? It was so chock full of cliches and badly written tropes and Garrett probably should have accepted that Hannah didn’t want to go out at the start, but like—he was cute? And as we all know I am TRASH™ for stories set in the same verse, so, like, I just kept reading these trashy college hockey books. Trashy is a compliment here. God, these kids had so much sex. So much. An incredible amount, really. I once had a guy tell me he was physically attracted to me, but not emotionally attracted to me in college. Like, that was my college experience. The first and second books were the best, I think. I didn’t really like Dean that much.

MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS A RABBI???

The Intimacy Experiement by Rosie Danan

Naomi Grant has built her life around going against the grain. After the sex-positive start-up she cofounded becomes an international sensation, she wants to extend her educational platform to live lecturing. Unfortunately, despite her long list of qualifications, higher ed won't hire her. Ethan Cohen has recently received two honors: LA Mag nominated him as one of the city's hottest bachelors and he became rabbi of his own synagogue. Low on both funds and congregants, the executive board of Ethan's new shul hired him with the hopes that his nontraditional background will attract more millennials to the faith. They've given him three months to turn things around or else they'll close the doors of his synagogue for good. Naomi and Ethan join forces to host a buzzy seminar series on Modern Intimacy, the perfect solution to their problems--until they discover a new one--their growing attraction to each other. They've built the syllabus for love's latest experiment, but neither of them expected they'd be the ones putting it to the test.

— Ok, I know that sounds bad. Again, I’m a creature of predictable habit and this was the sequel to The Roommate, which I absolutely LOVED last year. But where as the relationship in that one was kind of swoony, this one was...I don’t know, really. Everyone was a well-rounded character and the plot was good, but there was this semi-invisible something that made it difficult for me to get fully on board with the whole story. Honestly, it might be because he was a religious figure?? Also, they got together real quick. Like zero to sixty in twenty-six seconds flat.

I KNOW IT’S BAD, IT WAS BAD AND YET—I CANNOT STOP READING IT???

Too Wild to Tame by Tessa Bailey

Sometimes you just can't resist playing with fire . . . By day, Aaron Clarkson suits up, shakes hands, and acts the perfect gentleman. But at night, behind bedroom doors, the tie comes off and the real Aaron comes out to play. Mixing business with pleasure got him fired, so Aaron knows that if he wants to work for the country's most powerful senator, he'll have to keep his eye on the prize. That's easier said than done when he meets the senator's daughter, who's wild, gorgeous, and 100 percent trouble. Grace Pendleton is the black sheep of her conservative family. Yet while Aaron's presence reminds her of a past she'd rather forget, something in his eyes keeps drawing her in. Maybe it's the way his voice turns her molten. Or maybe it's because deep down inside, the ultra-smooth, polished Aaron Clarkson might be more than even Grace can handle . . .

— Last month I read the first book in this series and it was absolutely ridiculous. This one even more so. The Clarksons are still on the road trip (sans one sibling because she fell in love in a week in the first book) and Aaron was, like, not a root’able character? Very Edward Cullen I’M A BAD GUY, BELLA vibes and his relationship with Grace was so strange. Super rushed again, obvs. Meeting in the woods is weird enough. Professing love forty-eight hours later is decidedly unbelievable. Also there was a kidnapping involved? I totally put a hold on the next book in the series.

COME UP WITH DIFFERENT TRAUMA, I DARE YOU! OR NO TRAUMA. WHAT A CONCEPT!!

The Trouble With Hating You by Sajni Patel

Liya Thakkar is a successful biochemical engineer, takeout enthusiast, and happily single woman. The moment she realizes her parents' latest dinner party is a setup with the man they want her to marry, she's out the back door in a flash. Imagine her surprise when the same guy shows up at her office a week later -- the new lawyer hired to save her struggling company. What's not surprising: he's not too thrilled to see her either after that humiliating fiasco.

Jay Shah looks good on paper...and off. Especially if you like that whole gorgeous, charming lawyer-in-a-good-suit thing. He's also infuriating. As their witty office banter turns into late-night chats, Liya starts to think he might be the one man who truly accepts her. But falling for each other means exposing their painful pasts. Will Liya keep running, or will she finally give love a real chance?

— I had such high hopes for this one. Which is on me, I guess. Because I didn’t hate this one, but it was...not great. Maybe I’m just getting old and crotchety but I am BEGGING romance writers to come up with different trauma for their female protagonists. Not every woman has to have been assaulted to rationalize their current personality. Doesn’t have to happen. Like, ok, yes it does happen. Far more than it should. But that’s an entirely different story, and I am so tired of female characters getting absolutely destroyed by their past only to have that be their defining characteristic for so much of the book. Until a nice man they were initially mean to shows up and he’s UNDERSTANDING and he CARES and it’s just, bleh. It’s bleh. Tired and predictable and I’m over it.

IN WHICH I SHOULD HAVE LOOKED AT THE COVER

Much Ado About You by Samantha Young

At thirty-three-years old Evangeline Starling’s life in Chicago is missing that special something. And when she’s passed over for promotion at work, Evie realizes she needs to make a change. Some time away to regain perspective might be just the thing. In a burst of impulsivity, she plans a holiday in a quaint English village. The holiday package comes with a temporary position at Much Ado About Books, the bookstore located beneath her rental apartment. There’s no better dream vacation for the bookish Evie, a life-long Shakespeare lover. Not only is Evie swept up in running the delightful store as soon as she arrives, she’s drawn into the lives, loves and drama of the friendly villagers. Including Roane Robson, the charismatic and sexy farmer who tempts Evie every day with his friendly flirtations. Evie is determined to keep him at bay because a holiday romance can only end in heartbreak, right? But Evie can’t deny their connection and longs to trust in her handsome farmer that their whirlwind romance could turn in to the forever kind of love.

— Ok, so I had had this book on hold for so long that I genuinely forgot about it and forgot who it was written by. Samantha Young wrote that one book that I called the worst book I had ever read. Only I did not realize that when I started reading this one. So, you see how this sets us up for disaster. Because this book was a disaster. Everyone was goddamn annoying. And whiny. Shit, everyone whined. About everything. Also, the actual writing was atrocious. I am not usually one to be like “men can’t write,” but at one point I told both @shireness-says and @optomisticgirl that this book must have been secretly written by a man because no woman writing it would be so obsessed with pointing out where her cellulite was. Like, what??? Also the first sex scene? Oh my God, I laughed. Guffawed. The so-called love interest literally asked: “Are we going to have sex now?” And then they just did. It was so bad. Also there was a dog? Who went everywhere with the so-called love interest. And they just never explained that? I thought it was going to be part of some crushing and depressing backstory. Nah, he was just there.

HOLY SHIT THIS WAS SO DUMB I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WAS A BOOK! A BOOK MEANT FOR YOUNG ADULTS! WHAT IS YOUNG ADULT???

The Queen’s Secret by Melissa de la Cruz

Lilac's birthright makes her the Queen of Renovia, and a forced marriage made her the Queen of Montrice. But being a ruler does not mean making the rules. For Lilac, taking the throne means giving up the opportunity to be with love of her life, the kingdom's assassin, Caledon Holt. Worse, Cale is forced to leave the castle when a horrific set of magical attacks threatens Lilac's sovereignty. Now Cal eand Lilac will have to battle dark forces separately, even though being together is the only thing that's ever saved them.

— Remember last month when I was like: can’t wait for my hold to come through on this sequel so I know what happens? What an idiot. THIS BOOK WAS SO DUMB I CANNOT BELIEVE IT WAS A BOOK. As always in my rage-induced rants, no apologies for spoilers because seriously do NOT read this, but Lilac (legit, that was her name) married some other dude but just kept fucking Cale??? Like she had a secret door? So he could come in and they could fuck?? I just—oh my God. So, all these things kept happening. Magic and bad stuff and horses were killed. Lilac’s mother was the absolute WORST. Honestly the most worthless character who at one point was like “well, my story is over, guess it’s time to leave,” and then just left?? Forced Lilac into a marriage of alliance and no love and then everything evil was defeated in point two four seconds. It happened so fast I wasn’t even sure it happened. So, then I’m like, ok, how are Lilac and Cale going to end up together? Because this is YA and that’s how it’s supposed to work. Only her being married and that marriage requiring an heir is something of a rather large hurdle. Don’t worry! Remember when Lilac and Cale were fucking? Everyone totally knew. Including the king Lilac is married to. Who is somehow like...ok with this? And tells Cale that Lilac is pregnant. ISN’T THAT WONDERFUL! Sure, because now they can lie and claim its the king’s heir. ONLY IT’S CALE’S KID! AND CALE IS COOL WITH THIS! His entire internal monologue during this is about how he realizes he might not ever be able to tell his kid he’s their father, but he’ll be around and that’s good. Wait, what??? But there’s more! Not only is Lilac having Cale’s kid, but the king she’s married to is in love with one of Cale’s spy associates. So the king and the spy are going to go hang out (and presumably have their own kids) at one castle and Lilac and Cale are going to go to another. Lilac and the king never get divorced or annulled or whatever. Everyone stays as is and married as is and—they all live happily ever after? This was presented as a good ending, I swear. What the shit, guys, seriously.

[timextoxhajima]

HOSTIS, Chapter XVI: Adsumo, Claim

Previous Chapter (XV: Vetus Flamma)

Member: Lee Hyunjae (tbz) ft younghoon and eric

Genre (by chapter): drama, angst

Category: Short Novel/Long Series

“i knew i wasn’t the person you needed”

kim young hoon.

you remember the way he always offered to carry your bag or books, though you were well aware he’d rather not. 

younghoon was always known for his cold, aloof demeanor. 

that is, until you start talking to him. 

the first time you met younghoon, this strange feeling of queasiness and anxiety wrapped itself around your stomach, and it really wasn’t great timing when it was right after a full meal you decided to stuff yourself before extra class. 

being at a buffet just a few days earlier had literally poisoned your blood and your system; it was just hidden for this period of time.

so when the food you had for lunch poured out through your lips because of the food poisoning you were yet to be made aware of, only to land on younghoon’s shoe in school, it would’ve been the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you.

if you hurled on lee hyunjae, you would’ve been happy to be be diagnosed with food poisoning. 

but this was kim younghoon. 

his popularity was matched with lee hyunjae though he was nowhere near as intelligent -- or scheming.

girls around him started shooting you looks of disgust and low whispers of you being inappropriate or inconsiderate began to drown your senses out.

the regurgitation also forced out a lot of your energy, and your legs were slowly turning into jelly with every passing second. 

but before you could make a second stumble that would’ve allowed gravity to pull you into the concrete floor, younghoon holds your arm and keeps you upright. 

watching him crane his neck down and lower his back to see your vomit painted chin was both reassuring but terribly harsh on your pride. 

“are you alright?”

the loss of ego keeps your head hung low, and he takes it as a sign that you really weren’t feeling well.

ignoring all the girls staring at him dragging the smartest girl in school across campus to the medical bay was such a sight to behold, even for lee hyunjae. 

you wish you could’ve seen it for yourself from a third person perspective. 

not many people were aware of your little crush on younghoon, but you were always too busy trying to outdo lee hyunjae to even spare a second to day dream about him. 

sometimes you felt shallow and materialistic for choosing younghoon to wear your emotions on, since you haven’t really spoken to him. 

but if he didn’t know, it didn’t matter. 

there was an expectation for younghoon to stay clear of you, especially when you were already known as one of two areses in school. yet younghoon found reassurance in that, in the way you stood out from the crowd against your will.

younghoon’s face and personality did it for him. 

your competitiveness and ability to be the only person who could stand up against lee hyunjae did it for you.

lucifer had the best of both worlds, which made him all the more hate-worthy.

younghoon’s choice to invest in your friendship with him came as a surprise, but it felt like sunrise after a long night. 

for six years you’ve been wasting your energy on proving yourself better than lee hyunjae, so having younghoon becoming both a source and and outlet for your energy to channel to and from... 

it was nothing short of magical.

there was absolutely no way you could’ve forgotten the satisfaction that filled your lungs and your heart when the school found out you were dating the kim younghoon. 

you never really figured out why it was such a shocker, though you were pretty sure the school was just surprised you chose kim younghoon, a not-so-smart student, in comparison to your must-top-the-class persona.

most of the time spent with younghoon was either spent tutoring him or having nonsensical conversations with him before you slept. those were the times you felt relaxed, you felt loose, you felt like you didn’t really need to win.

there was nothing to win anyway, not with younghoon at least.

you had convinced yourself that younghoon was sick and tired of your never-ending battle with lee hyunjae, one that drove a scandalous picture of you and the lab teacher all over the internet like it was a freeway. 

younghoon must’ve known that the picture was just edited, for the teacher never got into trouble for it, only mild investigation.

but at least he was smart enough to save himself from the walking fire of fury, that was you, and he used this chance to run.

love was never really a priority in your life until younghoon came along, so even when that beautiful, flowery garden part of your life had gone, your priority naturally fell back on beating lucifer at his own game.

or a game that the both of you thought was a great idea to start. 

love was just a fickle thing, and all it did was to make you weak.

and if you were fighting ares himself, you had to be your best ares.

ares is not weak. 

ares is brutal and cruel and you had to be just that in order to beat another. 

sitting across younghoon, five years later, in your favourite cafe with the evening sun disappearing behind the buildings of the city, felt like a fever dream.

a dream you yearned had happened five years ago, not now. 

two bowls of soup and a bowl of truffle fries get served to your table, and younghoon thanks the waitress with a slight nod. the waiter recognises you, so she just gives you a small smile.

younghoon being the gorgeous man he is, catches her attention again, and you smile at your food when you felt her reluctance to leave the table.

“i must say,” he hands you a soup spoon after checking it for shitty cleaning. “i have high expectations for this chowder.”

“i just had this yesterday,” the pepper bottle shakes in your hold. “surely that must mean something?”

the slightly amber lamp dangles above your table, and the heat from the lightbulb was making the skin on your nose and forehead feel warm despite the early autumn wind gushing about outside. 

the pillars inside the cafe make it feel like you were in a warehouse, so every time someone appears behind a pillar and walks somewhere in your sight, younghoon would always look up to see if you were looking at anybody you knew. 

there was a bell hung on the door of the cafe near the cashier’s counter; which was located behind the wall you were sitting against. 

the sound makes you wait for someone new to show up in your span of vision, and if nobody appeared, you’d know that they ordered takeaway. 

“how’s working at the hospital? i heard you say you’ve been working with uncle for about a month?”

“i think it’s about five weeks or so, yeah,” the tiny circles of oil on the soup gets pushed around while you stir it, and younghoon adds pepper to his serving after tasting the truffle fries. “it’s alright... i mean, it’s just everything i expected.”

“so, no surprises?”

surprises.

“oh,” a snort runs through your throat as you take one mouth of your soup. “there was one big surprise--”

“lee hyunjae?”

the name strikes a chord in you, and you weren’t too sure why. 

“god must hate me to put me in the same room as him... we started working for the hospital on the same day, and his office is right next to mine.”

“huh,” younghoon hums, blowing on his spoon of soup before having it. “you must’ve been really upset when he showed up.”

“‘upset’ isn’t a strong enough word to describe how much i wanted to shove a pen down his throat. consider disgusted, angry, furious, disappointed, resentful, hateful--”

“should i be worried you work in an environment where those feelings should not be involved in--”

generous laughter escape your lungs and younghoon’s smile encourages you to return to your food.

“but otherwise, it’s a blast. i love my patients, i love my mentors and the nurses and the colleagues-- they are all so endearing and patient.”

he nods while chewing on the ingredients in the chowder.

“what about you? what are you doing now? i mean, we haven’t spoken in five years.”

“i’m a salesman, guess i figured out a way to use my face to the best of my ability.”

“oh, god,” a chuckle rings in the air between you as you dip your spoon into the bowl again. “that must’ve worked in some magical ways. has anybody tried to get your number?”

“do i really want to answer that when you already know?”

a cheeky smile greets you when you look up from your food, and you shake your head when you realise you could still read his eyes the same. 

“i don’t suppose you’re romantically involved in anybody now?” he asks. there was an absence of... care and concern he used to have back then. 

he wasn’t nonchalant about it, but you could tell that five years was adequate for your relationship with younghoon to turn completely stagnant. 

there was no longer any hint of love in it, even if he did still care for you.

he could still love you, but if he was, he was doing a damn good job at hiding it. 

but that question. 

what does ‘romantically involved’ really mean to you?

on one hand, you believed your heart belonged to the lovable, enthusiastic intern who was going to leave in about three weeks. 

yet your body resigns itself to another man, one whom you’ve hated nearly half your life, the same man who took younghoon away from you, even if it wasn’t completely his doing. 

“uh... define ‘romantically involved’.”

younghoon looks at you with slightly furrowed brows and confused eyes, sending one piece of truffle fry into his mouth.

“...it worries me that you had to ask that. i’ll rephrase it; do you have anybody you’re interested in?”

“well, there’s this really cute intern working at the neuro-research department.”

“intern? he’s younger?”

“age is just a number.”

“fair play.”

the jingle of the bell hanging on the entrance door rings gently, and your eyes travel down to the soup.

“he’s super enthusiastic and there’s just something about him that’s so... comforting. i see him and i think about nothing but sunshine and warmth and laughter. he’s just... so cheerful, compared to whatever i’ve been used to.”

a pause, and you look up at younghoon, your peripheral vision not seeing anybody walk out from the wall you were sitting against.

“he sounds like someone you really want in your life. i’ve known you long enough to know what kind of person you’d might be attracted to. i guess the man’s lucky enough to have attracted someone with a complete opposite personality.”

eric’s face comes to mind, and your heart starts to do tiny flips when you recall the way his eyes fold when he smiles. the warm rumble of his voice when he speaks. the harmony that he sings when he laughs.

“that sounds strange, doesn’t it? we kissed at a party once and--”

“you kissed the intern?”

“it was at a party and we were all slightly drunk--”

“i don’t recall the last time you had enough to be drunk--”

“let me live, younghoon!” you feign a hit across the table, and he chuckles softly, dodging your little attack. 

the bell rings again, and a teenage couple walks in this time. 

“frankly, i am surprised about one thing,” half his bowl was empty now, and you reach over to jab at some fries with a fork.

“what is it?”

he pushes his air out from his eyes and presses his fingers into his cheek, leaning one elbow on the edge of the table. 

“that you didn’t end up with lee hyunjae.”

the scoff that came out garnered the attention of that young couple, but you couldn’t care less.

“lee hyunjae? of all people, why would you think--”

“because he’s the only one who was ever able to be on the same... pedestal as you.”

pedestal. potential. day one. 

“without him, i don’t know if you would’ve pushed yourself so hard. i know you always had a thing against your parents not spending enough time with you, i thought you’d break the tradition of becoming a doctor because of that.”

“yeah, well...” the chowder calls out to you. “hyunjae or not, i would’ve become a doctor anyway.”

silence. 

it drags on long enough for younghoon to finish nearly the rest of his soup, and there was a weighted feeling of... fear in your chest.

your heart was thumping, though not at a fast pace.

eric’s smile was floating around in your head, but the way younghoon looked at you when he said that name planted a seed inside you. 

you worry for awhile if that seed meant anything at all.

“y/n, i have to be honest with you about something...”

the truffle bits melt in your mouth as you sit back.

“i didn’t dump you because i believed you were with the teacher.”

“oh,” a gentle giggle exits through your lips as you lean forward to get another fry. “i know that. you dumped me because you were sick of me always at lee hyunjae’s throat and we were always fighting--”

“no, i dumped you because i knew i wasn’t the person you needed.”

the muscles and nerves in your body halt, and your eyes slowly travel up from the fries to his. 

“and i highly doubt this intern is going to be it either.”

the words come together in your head, but they felt so alien on your tongue.

“but you just said that he’s someone i want--”

“i was not what you needed, and he isn’t either. you want him, but you need someone else.”

a gulp pushes itself down your throat and your temples tighten as you pull away from the bowl of fries, and your eyes return to the bowl to finish whatever was left in it.

“i’ve got no clue how neither of you saw it, but there’s literally nobody else better for the two of you than each other.”

your lips either remain entertaining the spoon that was travelling in and out of your mouth, or pursed so tight, you cut off the blood circulation to them.

“the only reason why the two of you could do so well in school was because you had each other to push both ends. i had my fair share of interactions with lee hyunjae, i’m well-aware of the kind of person he is when he’s not trying to get one score higher than you, even when you’ve already scored full marks.”

“do you still want the rest of the fries? i--”

“y/n,” he pulls the leftover fries away from you, and you hiss childishly at his move.

“so don’t listen to me, but you’ve been avoiding talking about lee hyunjae for the last twenty four hours and believe me when i say this, if this was five years ago or any time before that, you wouldn’t have missed a second trying to convince me that he’s the shittiest person on earth.”

“maybe i just decided he’s not worth my time--”

“so why were you wearing a male’s dress shirt yesterday?” 

oh, fuck.

“it could’ve been someone el--”

“and the foundation on your neck doesn’t do much under this lighting, especially since it’s been a long day for you.”

your face was heating up not because of the lamp above the table, but the fact that younghoon was able to see right through you.

even you couldn’t see through yourself.

“but whoever said it was him who di--”

“there’s literally nobody who would have the damn guts to do things like that to you besides him. i’m pretty sure not even your sunshine intern would do it if he’s as cheerful as you make him to be.”

stop.

“if it’s anything i learnt about you, it’s that you wouldn’t let a man do anything to show that he claims you.”

please stop talking.

“but someone’s gone ahead and did just that... and when i heard uncle talk about a doctor lee yesterday, it just... hit me.”

stop. talking.

he finally stops and returns you the fries that you no longer had the appetite of finishing. 

“so, it wasn’t hyunjae. you haven’t said one bad thing about him since i saw you yesterday. tell me that if this was you five years ago, you would’ve done the same.”

i wouldn’t. because i hated him.

the silence starts to eat you out when the confusion sinks in even further. 

why must he say all those things to mess you up even more?

there was nothing he said that wasn’t true, though you wished you could flat out deny everything.

but he’s seen it all without even telling him anything, and you start to wonder if it’s been there all along, but you chose to ignore it.

all you wanted was an aphrodite, but why does she seem like she’s drifting further and further away?

by the time younghoon returns you back to the safety of your house, he was well-aware that the conversation from before had some effect on you, for he pulls you into a tight hug after walking you to your door. 

his scent wafts through your nose and you shut your eyes to take it all in. 

what would it have been like had hyunjae not torn him away from you?

then again, younghoon was the one who tore himself away from you on his own accord.

“call me if you need anything. anything at all.”

he releases you, hands still on your shoulders. 

“i’ll still love you the way i always did, but i know for a fact that i’m not the one you need in your life.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter XVII: Et Universum Parallel

A/N; welcome to hell guys this is where shit starts to roll i hope you guys are ready cause my ass isn’t LMAO. 

[thestraggletag]

Human Nature, Part One

AN: Happy Birthday to me! Here’s a fic I wrote to commemorate the day. Part two needs editing but will be along shortly. Enjoy!

Also can someone please write a better summary? This is an honest request. It can be my birthday present.

Rating: R

Summary: Warm Bodies AU. After the zombie apocalypse is averted it’s up to Belle French to rehabilitate a mostly-dead Mr Gold, against advice of the experts and the wishes of the entire town. As she struggles to fan the spark of humanity back into Mr Gold she fails to notice something else kindling between them.

It took months to get back to Storybrooke after the beginning of what was known as "the treatment" by which most of who'd been affected by the zombie-like virus slowly regained their humanity. It was slow-going, the process done with an overabundance of caution that nobody begrudged, taking into account what the years before had been like. The outbreak had lasted a little under five years, but it had seemed like months, and so much had changed in that time that life before seemed like a distant memory. The idea of just picking up where everyone left off was an impossible fantasy.

When Brisbane had been hit Belle, who'd been visiting relatives at the time, had been lucky enough to get evacuated to Hamilton Island, where the only undead she'd been close to where relatives of locals, who could not bear to put them down and so kept them locked away in the basement of the local pet shelter. Once word of the treatment reached them most of them had been successfully rehabilitated, and soon after that she'd made her way back to the mainland, to be of help where she could and find out news about her family and friends.

She'd first heard news of Storybrooke from Ruby, when internet access was restored. The town had taken a hit, like most, but efforts were underway to rehabilitate as many people as possible. She cried with her friend when she called her to tell her Granny had called her by her name. Speech was a big step in the treatment, and it was then that they both knew that Mrs Lucas was going to make it.

She had to wait a long time for flights to be restored, and by then things were mostly under control. She'd heard from Ruby and others that Storybrooke was a sort of success story unlike any other, with all services restored, schools open and a rehabilitation rate that defied expectations, and a lot of it was attributed to the iron will of Madam Mayor and the security efforts of the Town Sheriff. Quite the formidable power couple, according to Ruby. She thought their love story surrounding their shared son was very cute, as far as apocalyptic tales went.

And though she had thought at first that Ruby's boundless optimism in the face of Granny's recovery was prompting her to paint a rather misleading picture of how things were back home when she finally made it back to town she had to admit it looked as good as she'd described. There were some signs of destruction, some roadblocks that were still only half-cleared and half the buildings seemed to be in the process of repair but there was an air of orderly normality that she hadn't seen in other places. Ruby had been there to pick her up from the bus stop, squealing and hugging her for the longest time before commenting on her silver-streaked hair, telling her she loved it.

"You can totally get hair dye, the pharmacy is up and running again- no idea how Mayor Mills did it but it's almost completely restocked, she must have made some interesting calls to well-connected people- but I kinda dig the look. Goes with your more angular features."

It was a nice spin on things, as if her thinner body and grey hair were audacious fashion choices and not the product of hunger and stress. The upbeat attitude was decidedly contagious, specially once she saw that her beloved library was mostly undamaged. Boarded up still, and a little worse for wear on the outside, but the inside was just as she had left it. She commented on it to Granny as the woman forced a second helping of pie on her. For someone who had undergone the treatment she didn't really look it, with the exception of a slight stiffness to her movements.

"I'm glad the town council moved so quickly to board it up."

"They had nothing to do with it. It was Gold and his crew, mainly that huge mammoth of a man that worked for him, Dove. Did it by themselves, with the help of Marco."

Though Granny's tone was as gruff and as acid as it always was when she talked of the pawnbroker Belle felt a pleasant warmth bloom in her. She'd always had a soft spot for the Scotsman, something she knew was a bit of an unpopular opinion in Storybrooke. He had always had a smile and a polite comment or two for her whenever she saw her, was a staunch ally of the library in town council meetings and was keen on chatting about a book when he returned it, which he always did in person. Once or twice they’d sat together when Granny’s was too full and his was the only table with spare seats. People had warned her after the first time they’d shared a cup of tea in public that she was better off staying as far away from possible from him, but she had refused to comply, specially when she caught the bias in a lot of the stories, like the one Ashley Boyd spun, about Mr Gold cruelly charging interest for the rent of a meager little flat after having been “a little bit late” on the rent. She was never specific about how late till Belle asked, and she reluctantly admitted it was over two months, even past the grace period contemplated on the rental agreement.

“Still, who threatens to evict a young couple with a newborn baby and nowhere to go?”

Ashley was also always careful not to mention her father-in-law, well-off and with more than enough room in his house to host his only son and his wife for a lengthy period of time. Belle could see how her tale of woe lost a little of the dramatic edge with the addition of those pesky details. So she had carried on being friendly with the pawnbroker, even if it made people look at her funny and sometimes whisper behind her back. Just one of the many things that made her strange in the little town, along with her accent and habit of reading in the strangest of moments and places. She hadn’t cared.

“That was so kind of him. I must go over to his house and thank him.”

She hadn’t seen the Scotsman around since her return, but she’d assumed he was busy either with repairs to his home or perhaps the shop, or even trying to restore order to his many properties. He was a fastidious landlord and considering his nature she imagined he’d be one of those people eager to set the world to rights, to restore order.

“You haven’t told her?”

Granny looked at Ruby reproachfully, though she tried to shrug it off. The old woman sighed, not-quite managing to roll her eyes.

“He was amongst the people infected during a breach a couple of years ago. We’ve been told he’s in treatment, but not responding well. It doesn’t quite work on everyone, as you know.”

It felt impossible, at first. Mr Gold was such a vital part of Storybrooke that it made no sense for the town to be still standing without him. He was also so strong, despite his short stature and his reliance on a cane to walk, that it made no sense to think that even the outbreak could’ve gotten to him. He was the sort of man she would expect to survive the apocalypse, if not thrive in it.

It wasn’t until a couple of days later, when she overheard Katherine Knight talk about “visiting Freddie” that she gave more thought about Mr Gold’s situation. Frederick Knight, Katherine’s husband, was amongst the people still being treated and it had not occurred to her that visits to those infected were not only possible, but desirable. It was human contact, after all, the key to guide those afflicted back to their humanity. Contact and communication with loved ones, with people near and dear, was even better, capable of speeding up the process. And she was sure that, though not close, Mr Gold had considered her a friend. She certainly knew him enough to be of help, and she couldn’t imagine people would much object to her taking him off their hands for a couple of hours a day.

It was with a sinking heart that she learned that, though the treatment of the infected was officially managed by the local hospital, the actual efforts were overseen by Mother Superior and her gaggle of nuns, all of which had survived the apocalyptic events. They had done so mostly because the good Mother had ordered the convent’s doors to be bolted at the first sign of trouble. The sisters had spent the entire apocalypse safe behind the tall walls of the convent, living off the produce from the gardens and closing their ears to the pleas for help from outside.

It was no wonder Mother Superior had decided to offer the services of her little lambs when hands were needed to treat the infected once it was discovered this could be done. It was a way to change the narrative, to erase whatever ill-feelings there remained in town regarding the nuns. It was also a way to position herself in a place of power and relevance, one she relished with little subtlety, it seemed to her. She was practically goading when she turned Belle away, telling her Mr Gold was unfit to receive visits of any kind, and that she could give her no further information.

The rumours she heard were not encouraging. People whispered about Mr Gold lashing out against anybody that dared approach him, about him savagely attacking orderlies and snapping out of restraints with a brute force surprising even in an infected. Too violent to be cured, people said, a beast on the outside as he’d always been on the inside. So thin and haggard, in such a state of rot, that he was practically a boney. The town seemed quite content to do nothing about it, so she decided in the end to take the matter to the mayor. Regina Mills was the closest thing Mr Gold had to family. They’d known each other since she was a baby- there were some unsavoury stories about the pawnbroker and Regina’s mother, but nothing anyone could corroborate- and though they usually bickered they seemed to have a certain respect and fondness for each other, at least from what she’d been able to see.

To her credit Regina did seem to share her concerns regarding Mr Gold- Hell, even Sheriff Swan, not his biggest fan, seemed sympathetic- but didn’t think much could be done about it.

“I wish I could tell you Mother Superior or the orderlies at the hospital were exaggerating, Miss French, but I’ve been to see Mr Gold. Even restrained he was quite violent, and my presence seemed to agitate him more than help him. I believe everything that could be done for him is being done. He’s simply… not responding as he should. I am told it happens.”

She seemed to be honestly contrite, which gave her the opening she needed to convince her to demand the hospital let her visit. It took a while, and some back and forth, but she was finally given permission, though begrudgingly, by Dr Whale and Mother Superior. She was full of cautious optimism that morning, joining Mary Margaret Nolan in the hospital entrance lobby to wait for visiting hours to start, listening intently as the schoolteacher told her that she was hopeful her husband would be released soon, given his progress.

Her enthusiasm waned somewhat when Mary Margaret was ushered along a brightly-lit corridor and she in turn was escorted to a key-coded door that led to the basement, and taken down a flight of stairs into a dark hall, where a clearly-recovering orderly was mopping the floors. She was told to go to the “cell at the end”, a phrase that did away with the rest of her cheerfulness. The air down there was damp and stale, and mold grew on certain areas along the walls and in corners. The floor was solid concrete, with an abundance of thin, spidery cracks, and there were heavy metal doors to her left, with small covered windows slots further down that remained shut, but likely was meant for trays.

She found him when she peered into the third door, though it was difficult to see him at first because the cell was unlit but for the light that shone from a small barred window high above and he was in a shadowy corner, standing still. It was only when her eyes adjusted to the darkness that she began to make out his silhouette, and later more and more details. In many ways it was easy to recognise him: custom suit, slightly-uneven gait, favouring one leg clearly over the other, and shaggy hair a tad too long to be respectable. At the same time, however, the man in the cell looked like a complete stranger: rail-thin, with his trousers torn and his suit jacket in tatters. He wasn’t even wearing a tie, something she’d never seen Mr Gold without. The eyes, however, were the most striking difference: clouded over, almost milky-white, dull and unfocused.

“Oh, Mr Gold…”

The living corpse seemed to shudder, head tilting back to sniff the air. She braced herself for anything, any sudden movement or anything that could remotely be construed as violent, but nothing happened. There was definitely something different, though, an awareness that hadn’t been there before. He could certainly smell her, she knew that, and had likely heard her loud and clear- infected tended to have their sense of smell and hearing heightened, even while their organs and muscles deteriorated. So he knew she was there, but did not attack her, did not seem interesting in doing her harm. The way it seemed there wasn’t anything inherently aggressive or incurable about him, he simply had been left alone to rot.

If no one was gonna do anything about it she would.

She decided the best way to establish any sort of relationship was through something she knew Mr Gold enjoyed. She set aside several afternoons a week to sit down on the hard concrete floor next to Mr Gold’s door and read him, choosing books from his favourite authors and genres. She started with Borges, which he had often checked out, and Irvine Welsh, along with some Cortázar and Verne. She would sneak in, unsure whether Mother Superior wouldn’t try to stop her if she knew what she was trying to do, and spend hours reading and drinking tea. Sometimes Ruby would sneak her something to eat- she had decided early on that she needed at least one person who knew where she was going and what she was doing just in case, specially when it became clear no one went to the basement except her. No nuns, no doctors, no one. People were literally waiting for Mr Gold to turn to dust, too squeamish to outright put a bullet in his brain and be done with it but in no real rush to see him recover either.

Spite became a motivator during those afternoons were things didn’t seem to be progressing and it looked like she was wasting her time. Mr Gold would like that, she thought privately. She felt an odd sort of camaraderie when she thought about sticking it to the nuns, about the expression on Mother Superior’s face if she succeeded. She told him about that, and about the progress being made around town. At some point she started calling him by his first name- Ramsay, a confession he made when she’d playfully teased him about having “R. Gold” as the name on his library card- thinking it might spark something.

She would feed him too, whatever large chunks of raw meat she could get from Granny, who she suspected was well aware of what she was doing but said nothing. She was fully cured, herself, with minimal sequels, but her experience seemed to have made her empathetic to Mr Gold’s plight. She had retained some of the incredible sense of hearing she’d enjoyed while undead. It wasn’t unheard of for people to keep a trait or two from their sickness, though it was rare. In some cases the infection had cause certain irreparable changes to their physiognomy, specially in those further gone.

Fortunately for Belle Mr Gold enjoyed the raw meat, though she never saw him eat it. She’d leave it before heading back to the library and it’d be gone in the morning, tray licked clean but Mr Gold back in his corner. It was a relief, somewhat, to see him lose some of his boney appearance, though he was still rail-thin, little more than skin and bones.

Her first big break happened during an ordinary afternoon, while she sat and read to him something by Horacio Quiroga. Mr Gold rather liked the dark short stories, and though some people might have thought them inappropriate reading material for a recovering zombie Belle disagreed, thinking that anything that might elicit a response from Mr Gold, any response at all, was worth trying.

It was while she was nearing the end of The Feather Pillow that she heard a shuffling and later a thump right on the other side of the door. Tentatively she knocked on the metal door, barely containing a happy laugh when something on the other side knocked back, slow but surely. It was the first time that Mr Gold acknowledged her at all and thought it was a small thing it felt like something monumental. It put a smile on her face so bright Ruby teased her about it for weeks, and prompted her to take a leap of faith one afternoon and open the latch that kept the small window on the door covered. There was no glass to further separate them so she was able to tentatively slip her hand through the opening.

“Come here, Ramsay. Come on, you know me. It’s okay.”

Mr Gold did perk up somewhat, and later dragged himself across the room. She forced herself not to flinch as he leaned forward, his nose almost brushing her skin as he breathed in deeply, hesitantly at first but pressing closer when something about the scent seemed to catch his attention or spark something in him. He never made a move to bite so for the longest time Belle just stood there, on her tippy-toes to be able to pass most of her arm through the opening, fighting the urge to pull back. Her fear gave way to cautionary optimism and later awe at the way Mr Gold practically rubbed his entire face against her hand, as if the notion of skin to skin contact was some sort of miracle. He breathed her deeply now, big lungfuls of her scent, nose pressed tightly against her palm or the underside of her wrist, his expression almost desperate. He made a sort of whining noise when she was forced to pull her arm back, and followed her hand until he physically couldn’t anymore.

She cried later that night, back in the safety of her library, away from prying eyes, part out of sheer relief and part out of anger and sadness at the thought that Mr Gold had been left to rot not because he was beyond help, but rather because it was so convenient. So many people had been given second chances once the rebuilding had started, people who had committed questionable or even downright despicable acts during the apocalypse. Ruby had warned her at the beginning about some, like Keith Nott and Greg Aston, who had taken to the chaos of the past years like ducks to water, had grown unruly and dangerous. She had heard only half-stories, mostly from Ruby, mostly things no one could prove or cared to now that the human race had another chance and the population was in dire need of able-bodied men to rebuild and reproduce. If Storybrooke was ready to embrace lowlifes like those they would have to get used to having Mr Gold back, and she’d call out anyone who dared fight her on that on their hypocrisy.

From then on it became routine to let him smell her. Mr Gold seemed to look forward to it, being sure to stay close to the door and letting out a growly sort of purr when she reached out to him. He was also eager to let himself be stroked and his hair petted, which took a bit of getting used to but to her made sense. Mr Gold had always avoided contact as a rule. Though he sometimes tended to invade people’s personal space as a tactic to put them ill at ease, he usually skirted human touch. She’d had occasion to make a study of it,  back before the apocalypse, down to how Mr Gold almost always wore gloves on rent day and avoided passing anything hand to hand. She had noticed that once he got familiar with her he let his guard down a bit and sometimes allowed casual touches, fingers brushing over a book exchanging hands, things of that nature. But he’d always shied away from further contact.

Belle had long ago come to the conclusion that he must have been very touch-starved, given how little actual skin to skin contact he seemed to experience day to day. She had seen him flex his fingers often, his hands and entire body full of nervous energy, of a sort of yearning for what he denied himself. Now, stripped of all human pretenses, without the need to protect himself from others, he was seeking out that which he needed like he hadn’t allowed himself before. She told him over and over that it was alright, that he was allowed to want and seek affection, that she would never use it against him or otherwise harm him with the knowledge. She hoped it would stick on the back of his mind, so he wouldn’t be embarrassed when he was himself again, or wary of her.

She hadn’t expected it to feel so… powerful. So heady, to have someone like Mr Gold, who always seemed larger-than-life, lean on her so trustingly, so eagerly. To have a creature capable of immense feats of strength, of untold violence, purr under her touch like a kitten. She’d always wanted to do it, to reach out and give some sort of comfort to Mr Gold, a little bit of the affection he was sorely missing. It was precisely why she told herself to be cautious and not rush into things, given her impulsive nature. If she botched things now, if she lost her progress or got into a situation she couldn’t handle, Mr Gold might never recover. She was sure any excuse would be enough for people to demand he be “put out of his misery”. She couldn’t afford mistakes or miscalculations.

So she took things slow, and kept things close to the chest. Best no one knew of her progress until she could get Mr Gold talking a little, enough to prove without a shadow of a doubt that he was on the mend, and that killing him would be killing a human being and not some well-dressed boney. So she went about her day as normal as possible, helping set the town to rights, cleaning the library, helping Dove with the community garden that grew on some land belonging to Mr Gold and that was still a vital source of a lot of produce the town consumed, though the normal flow of goods and services was slowly being re established across the estate. Dove was an attentive gardener and the work was strangely soothing. She set her afternoons aside for Mr Gold, though, reluctant to miss a day and cause a potential regression. And it helped her too, helped her deal with what she’d lived through, the peace and companionship she found in the basement of the hospital, with Mr Gold. In the hope that sparked in her every time she caught a glimpse of his eyes and they looked less cloudy and more focused, more alive.

She was so focused on those things, so eager to escape to her afternoon trysts, that she forgot to pay proper attention to her surroundings. It was night when she left the hospital, later than she’d realised, but nothing seemed amiss at first. Even after she heard something she didn’t immediately panic. The Rabbit Hole was close to the hospital, and people were still getting celebratory drunk in honour of the ending of the apocalypse. Sheriff Swan was good about keeping things controlled, all things considered. 

It wasn’t until they were almost upon her that she noticed them, staggering around shouting at her, some slurred lewd proposition that made her walk faster, but nothing else. When she chanced a glance back she felt the first true jolt of fear, recognising easily the tall, lanky man as Gregory Aston, which made the other man following her his buddy Keith. Greg had made some advances before the apocalypse, which she hadn’t returned, much to his displeasure. But back then they had both lived in a society with strict rules that limited whatever he might have wanted to do when he was rejected. Now he strutted around Storybrooke getting into fights and using his brute strength to get whatever he wanted, having grown used to the more violent times of the apocalypse, when his fighting ability had given him a position of prominence. Keith, on the other hand, had thrived in the smuggling business, specially of drugs, and was still active. Emma was a competent sheriff but the problems of a town like Storybrooke in the post-apocalypse were many, and the resources of the sheriff’s office were limited.

Being the stupid sort of drug dealer one would’ve expected from Keith he often tested his merchandise and shared it with close pals, which included Greg. Belle could see it the closer they got to her, the tell-tale signs of a person under the influence of more than just alcohol.

“Hey, Belle, wait up, we wanna talk to you!”

She began to seriously consider her options. The library was too far away, and it was too late for Granny’s to be open. The station was close by, but the sheriff was doing rounds so no one would be there. It seemed safer to go back to the hospital, where there was bound to be at least a couple of nurses on their night shift.

“Hey, you frigid bitch, I know you can hear us!”

Running probably was ill-advised, but at some point Belle couldn’t fight her instincts anymore. The relief she felt when she burst through the doors of the hospital was short-lived. The reception area was deserted, and access to the rest of the hospital seemed to be blocked, a precaution typical of the days of the apocalypse that people seemed to still be keeping. Frantically she went to the one door she knew the combination to, but when she tried to close it behind her it was wrenched from her grasp, either by Greg or Keith, she didn’t bother to look. Someone grabbed her arm when she raced down the stairs, but years of surviving in a high-stress environment had given her sharp reflexes that helped her pull herself free.

“There’s nowhere to run, sweetheart. We promise we’ll be nice, we just want to be nice to you, Belle.”

She didn’t know when she made the decision. It was in a split second, more instinctual than anything else. Mr Gold’s cell was bolted from the outside but not locked, she’d noticed that from the beginning. She’d been tempted to open the door so many times, but she’d restrained herself. But now adrenaline was rushing through her and the survival instinct that had kept her alive through hell on Earth moved her to make a quick decision, to seek out safety. Without pausing to second-guess herself she unbolted the door, pushing her way inside and closing it behind her.

“Got ourselves a room, how nice.”

“Hope there’s a bed inside!”

It was dark inside the cell. The only light came from the corridor and was too faint to reach inside. Belle knew she was not alone in the room but she could not hear or see Mr Gold. The infected got very good at being quiet and staying out of sight, like the best of predators, which wasn’t an altogether-reassuring thought. Greg and Keith stumbled inside the room, uncoordinated and sluggish from drink and whatever else they’d consumed, and Belle stepped back, seeking who she knew was there.

“Now, Belle, this doesn’t need to be bad. Ugly. We can… can treat you right. Make it good. We’re nice guys.”

Greg had always said that. Belle was sure that, against all odds, he believed it. Even as he clamped a hand around her arm, with enough force to make her wrist hurt, to make her cry out in pain and fight to wrench herself free. Even as Keith laughed next to him, clumsily pawing at his belt. There was a second of all-consuming fear, the kind that paralysed the muscles and made it difficult to breathe. Then there was a growl and she felt rather than saw an arm wrap around her waist and pull her backwards. Another arm went across her chest, securing her against something solid behind her.

“Holy fuck, what the-?”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

The sheer terror in both men’s eyes was almost amusing, if it weren’t for the fact that Belle felt the same. Mr Gold’s face was next to hers, snarling, teeth bared in a clear warning. She wanted to say something, so that he’d recognise her as a friend, let himself be soothed, perhaps, but nothing came out. Greg and Keith scrambled backwards, fighting to be the first ones out the door, bolting it behind them for good measure before running away, the sound of their footsteps eventually fading into nothing. They weren’t going to look for help, she knew it. Too messy for them, too dangerous. They’d left her alone, perhaps even hoping Mr Gold would take care of her so she wouldn’t go telling tales and for a moment her anger overcame her fear, so thoroughly that she didn’t notice Gold’s head move, his nose coming to press against her neck. He took a deep, audible breath and Belle froze again, part of her bracing herself for a bite. But none came, Mr Gold seemingly content to scent her. Slowly Belle felt fear drain out of her, allowing her to somewhat compose herself.

“It’s just me, Ramsay, Belle. You know  me, don’t you?”

He made a purring sound, the one  she’d grown so used to, and loosened his hold on her, not a drop of aggression on him. Belle tentatively petted his hair, excited now to be able to look at him so closely, to notice the very slight tint of pink on his cheeks and the slight warmth of his skin, signs of his recovering humanity. He, likewise, seemed curious about her, hands hovering near her, as if asking for permission to touch, to explore. And though he didn’t dare grab her again he had no problems pressing his nose close to whatever part of her he could reach. He spent long minutes scenting her hair, fingers ghosting over it, as if delighted by the feel of it. Fascinated and intrigued she let him proceed, allowing him to sniff at her forehead, down her neck and over her torso. It was strangely endearing, or at least until he pressed firmly against the juncture of her thighs, taking a deep breath in an attempt to scent her through her underwear and cotton shorts. 

“No!”

She pushed against his shoulders and he scrambled away, clearly feeling chastised by her tone and actions. He looked confused, as if unaware of whatever he’d done wrong, and whatever offence she might have felt a moment ago went up in smoke. Slowly, so as to not spook him, she sat down in the cot next to him and turned his face so they’d make eye-contact.

“Hey, Ramsey, I’m sorry. You didn’t know. It’s okay, Ramsey, I’m not mad.”

Something sparked in his eyes, and he tilted his head to the side, brow furrowing.

“R-r-r-r…” With a jolt, Belle realised he was trying to speak. It was more of a growl than anything else, but there seemed to be a purpose to it, a desire to shape it into something. “R-r-rum.”

He splayed a hand against his chest and repeated the word. Belle understood at once what he was trying to say.

“Yes, yes, that’s right. You’re Ramsay, that’s your name. Ramsay.”

She said it slowly, over and over again, delighting in the way he focused on her lips as they shaped out the word. He couldn’t quite repeat it, not entirely at least, but he recognised it without a doubt as his name, the first concrete proof that he could not only understand speech but that he had also recovered a sense of self, and at least partial access to his memories. He also seemed to realise it was a momentous occasion, his lips curling up into a shadow of a smile, looking more like Mr Gold than ever.

Knowing that certainly Ruby or Dove would report her missing tomorrow and that this would be an obvious place to check out, seeing as to how Emma and Regina suspected of her near-constant visits, she settled down to wait, lying down on the cot so her face was close to Mr Gold- Rum, now, in her mind- who was still on the floor, looking at her. She talked to him as one of her hands combed through his tangled hair, told him about Dove and how he was taking care of everything for him, about how the Library was ready for re-opening and how things were slowly returning to normal. There was an understanding in his eyes that hadn’t been there before, as if one more of many veiled had been lifted and he could see the world more clear now than before.

She didn’t recall falling asleep, but she must have at some point. When she awoke there was no panic, even when she registered the grey walls of the cell and the thin, hospital-issue mattress beneath her. Rum was next to her, sitting on the floor leaning against the cot and watching her from beneath a curtain of shaggy hair. It was, she was sure, longer than it had been weeks ago, another sign of his blossoming humanity to add to her list.

“Good morning, Rum.”

She pulled herself to a sitting position, looking around her. Now that there was slight coming into the room from the small window in a corner she could see the room properly, and winced at the signs of decay and disrepair. Surely it couldn’t be conductive to his recovery for him to be locked up in a place like that. She would need to try and convince Regina to do something about it, if she could somehow get the woman to the cell so she could see with her own eyes that Rum was on the mend, and certainly not a danger to anyone.

It was while she contemplated how to go about it all that she heard faint sounds, and later the murmur of voices. Someone shouted her name, desperately- Ruby, it sounded like- followed by others. Rum tensed up beside her, scrambling to stand between her and the door. She was about to try and calm him down when she was startled by the cell door being violently yanked open, Sheriff Swan stepping into the room with her revolver up and aimed squarely at the Scotsman’s head. Behind her Belle could see Ruby, David Nolan- who acted sometimes as Deputy Sheriff, and the major herself.

“No, wait!”

Thankfully for her Rum was a short man, so getting in front of him guaranteed Emma would be unable to shoot him in the head. It didn’t make her drop her stance, though, specially when she saw Rum grab her from behind and snarl. 

“Belle, what the fuck? Get out of the way!”

“No, you don’t understand. It’s okay. I’m okay. He’s not gonna hurt me. He’s not aggressive.”

She knew how ridiculous she sounded like, with Rum behind her, teeth bared and hands digging into her skin to the point where she had to admit hurt a little, but it was important that they understood.

“He… he’s on the mend. He just thinks you’re threatening me. Just… just stand down. He’ll relax.”

She wasn’t sure he would, but it was worth a try. Emma, to her credit, didn’t dismiss her words, and obviously noticed Rum was making no move to bite or otherwise attack her. She lowered her firearm and relaxed her posture, and little by little Belle felt Rum do the same behind her, though he kept one of his hands curled protectively on her shoulder, as if ready to yank her back at the first sign of trouble. She took advantage of the tentative peace to recount the events of last night, trying to be as detailed as possible. Though she got some sceptic looks she could see that at least Emma and Regina were considering part of what she was saying, particularly regarding Keith and Greg. When it came to Rum, however, the general consensus seemed to be that Belle was likely being a bit too optimistic, and there weren’t enough grounds to challenge the authority of Mother Superior regarding Mr Gold’s situation.

“No, you’re not listening to me. He’s on the mend. He knows who he is, he has memories. Look at him. At the colour of his skin, at his eyes. He’s better. He knows who I am, I’m sure.”

She stared at Emma, hard, as if daring the blonde to contradict her, to pat her on the head and tell her she was mistaken, confused, seeing things that weren’t there. To her surprise she felt Rum’s hand on her shoulder tighten.

“B-B-B-Be-Belle.”

It was more of a croak than anything, but there was no mistaking what he’d just said. Everyone froze in place and things were deadly quiet for a second or two. Belle could have sworn that when she chanced a glance at Rum there was something of the familiar Mr Gold smirk about him, the satisfied, smug look he often got after striking a deal or getting the better of people. Finally, after what felt like forever, Regina spoke.

“I can’t wait to see the look on Mother Superior’s face when I tell her this.”

Rum’s progress seemed to accelerate after that, though his vocabulary remained reduced. But his understanding of speech and his communication skills evolved immensely, and there was a constant awareness now of what was going on around him and a spark of intelligence that hadn’t been there before.. The major, likewise, was determined to make her own progress and before the week was out she managed to arrange a review of Mr Gold’s case with Dr Whale and Dr Hopper, against the express wishes of Mother Superior. Both reports were as positive as Belle could’ve hoped for, with Dr Hopper encouraging Mr Gold be moved to his own house for the remainder of his recovery, which was usually the next step once patients had developed enough understanding of the world around them.

Belle and Dove worked tirelessly to put Mr Gold’s house to rights, or as close to it as possible. Dove had boarded it up after Mr Gold had been infected, so it was quite the job to open it up again and clean it, but the inside was mostly well-preserved. All around Storybrooke news of the imminent release of the pawnbroker spread around fast, and the reception was more than a little chilly. No one dare take it up personally with Belle- apparently the first idiot to even insinuate something like that had had a pickaxe nearly flung at them by Leroy- but people definitely gave her hostile looks and were otherwise very vocal about how much better things would’ve been if Mr Gold had simply… faded away. It was disgusting and she was grateful that those closest to her seemed to be on the same page.

It was nighttime when Rum was officially discharged. He’d been already moved to a regular hospital room a day before in preparation and to administer any final tests and such. Afterwards they left him sitting in the hallway, which was where she found him. He visibly perked when he saw her, lips curling into that adorable half-smile that she remembered from years ago. He lurched forward towards her, which made her notice his limp was more pronounced than before. Infected people gained strength and agility due to the changes in their bodies, which could also strengthen injured bones and muscle. The more Rum’s body returned to its natural state the more his old injury reasserted itself. It was a strange sort of positive sign.

Thankfully the streets were deserted, like she’d hoped when she’d suggested Rum be released at night. They walked slowly, him leaning slightly against her for balance, looking around with unabashed hunger. He breathed in deeply, scenting the air, silently reveling in his freedom. Certain buildings and sights seemed to catch his attention, his eyes lingering on the diner, the library and specially on his pawnshop. When they finally got to the edge of town and he spotted his house he visibly moved faster, tugging her along and paying little attention to his dragging right leg as he all but sprinted towards it. His movements were still very wooden and stiff but the progress was astounding. 

The house was dimly lit, electricity still being strictly rationed, but Rum seemed to want to explore everything at once, at least until something seemed to occur to him and he darted awkwardly up the stairs. When she followed him she found him in his ensuite bathroom, shower already on. He was struggling to take his tattered clothes off, which was no easy feat given his current lack of dexterity. Belle helped him take his jacket off, trying not to smile at his slightly abashed look. What was left of his shirt was partly stuck to his undershirt and skin by grime and blood. It took ten minutes and a pair of scissors to peel the fabric off him safely. His torso was littered in half-healing bite marks and scratches and when she gently touched a couple of them he sighed, pressing his forehead against hers.

“I’m-m-m okay.” She didn’t realise until he tried to console her that she was crying. “Ev-v-v-very-thing is o-k-k-ay.”

His brogue was so thick it was difficult to understand him, and his voice was still raspy and harsh form disuse but the gentleness with which he sought to reassure her made his words soft as butter. She helped him out of the rest of his clothing, leaving his boxers on when it became clear he was not keen on the idea of having her remove them. She rummaged his walk-in closet for a pair of pants, fresh underwear and a t-shirt and left him to shower in peace. Afterwards- thankfully, dressing up had been easier for him than stripping down- she sat him down in front of a mirror and trimmed his hair at his request, pleased at the results. Showered and properly groomed Rum was looking more like himself than ever.

When she brought up the idea that she might stay the night- Dove had prepared a room for her just in case- he looked painfully relieved and agreed vigorously, not letting her out of his sight until she slipped into her own room, leaving the door ajar behind her. He shuffled into the room that she’d pointed out was his and laid on the bed, feeling a strange burning in his eyes, and a heaviness that he didn’t recognise at first. Minutes later he was asleep.

[namjuicyy]

Three’s A Crowd - Chapter One

Masterlist | Requests are open.

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut.

Genre of this part: Angst, fluff.

Word Count: 1.7k.

Summary: Your childhood friend shows you a whole new world, but no one expected what came afterwards.

Warnings: Low self-esteem, Jimin hardships.

"She was always there for me, it didn't matter that she couldn't understand what I was saying sometimes, she'd always answer the phone and listen to me complaining about my life."

Jimin's self-esteem was shot. Since he began high school, he had a problem with confidence and you had no idea where it came from. His parents and brother were always so supportive of him and praised him so much. Yet, there he was, texting you while you were trying to sleep because he'd made a small error in his practise and considered it to be the worst mistake he'd ever made in his life. There was no lie in your message, you were so proud of him when he sent you that video of him dancing to a Korean song you didn't know. You'd hoped that you could settle some of his worries. But that was evidently not the case when he asked to call you.

Chatting to Jimin on Skype was a regular occurrence, despite not being able to fully understand one another yet. You, since starting secondary school, had begun to learn Korean as an extra-curricular activity, and so every now and then you could pick up what he was saying. But you couldn't hold a conversation with him. So when he video-called you, and you were face-to-face, you didn't understand what he was telling you but it still felt right.

This morning was one of those times where he would call you just to rant at you. He was in the bathroom of his school, his chubby cheeks that he retained from childhood stained with his tears. His plump, bottom lip trembled as he weakly spoke to you, unloaded all his worries onto you and shared the weight of his burden. All you could really offer him were coos of the pet name you gave him and telling him that he was much better than he thought he was.

"Please, Jiminie, don't cry." You begged him in a whisper as you were too afraid to let your parents hear you awake at this time of the morning. "You're an amazing dancer, truly! I'm not just saying that to blow smoke up your arse, either. Anyone would be lucky to work with you, or watch you perform! You made one mistake, you're allowed to do that."

Jimin nodded, as if he was taking in everything you were saying. He couldn't lie, the soft tone in which you were speaking soothed him. He stopped crying when he heard your reassurance. He wiped his tears away and swallowed. "Thank you." He said in English.

In broken Korean, you thanked him for leaning on you.

"What time?" He asked.

"Oh, um, 3:20."

"Morning?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. You sleep."

In Korean you told him that you would, but only when you were sure he was happy again.

He laughed at your mispronunciation and your broken speech. Jimin was your best friend... really your only true friend. Sure there were people at school you hung around with, but you were sure you'd never see them again when you all went your separate ways. But you were learning a whole other language for Jimin. He must have been special to you.

He finally called it quits around 4:00am, practically forcing you to sleep. He blew you a kiss goodbye, as he usually did when you hung up, and let you get back to sleep. If he could have tucked you in, he would have.

Two mornings later, you received another call from Jimin, this time he was in a completely different mood. You were sat enjoying your breakfast when you received the call, something that made Jimin laugh. You would often have, what he called breakfast-dinner dates, because you'd just start your day when he called you about to end his. You couldn't make out a lot of the words he was saying, but you did hear "teacher", "good" and "grades", so you were assuming his recital was today and that he did really well. He certainly sounded like he did at least. He was rolling around on his bed like a mad man and was practically screaming at you. Your parents, who were also in the room and listening to him, were also chuckling to themselves. They understood nothing in comparison to you, so all they heard was a small Korean boy shouting at the top of his lungs. His happiness was contagious, though, and the rest of your day was spent with a smile on your face despite the people who went out of their way to purposefully attempt to upset you.

But it worked both ways, Jimin would call you to share news and you would call him to share news. He saw you crying more often than your own family did, and would always do something anything to make you smile again. He hated it when you were upset. He hated it more because he wasn't there to physically hold you, and gently rock you, and kiss you on the top of the head. He couldn't reassure you that everything would be okay like he would normally have done.

You began learning Korean at age 11, and by 13 you were pretty much fluent in the language, making Jimin's need to learn English almost obsolete. Jimin, out of everyone you knew, was the most proud of you. He'd refer to you as his bilingual bestie, and would often call you in the middle of lunchtimes at his school so he could brag to his friends about how you'd learnt his language in two years.

According to you, it was just a normal day in July. You woke up at seven o'clock, got yourself ready for school and made your way downstairs to your dining room where your dad had left you some breakfast on the table. Your mum was usually sat at the dining table enjoying her breakfast and reading through the day's news, your dad would come into the dining room after you with a hot drink for himself and your mum. Your life consisted of a blissful routine, except for that day.

Both your parents were sitting at the dining table, their breakfast hardly touched and massive smiles on their faces. Knowing grins and mischievous glints in their eyes which immediately gave away that they were up to something. You suspiciously went about your routine, commenting on how weird they were being. "Weird?" Your dad questioned. "Who's being weird? I'm not being weird. Are you being weird, my dear?"

"No, darling." Your mum responded. "I'm not being weird. Why would she think we're being weird? We aren't the weird ones here."

"No of course not."

You began preparing your breakfast and started tucking in, when you heard your mother tut. "What?" You asked, defensively yet playfully. "Can't I enjoy my breakfast in peace without my parents acting strange?"

"Do you want to know what's strange, honey-bumpkin?" Your mum asked your dad.

Your dad shook his head. "Honey-bumpkin?"

"It was the first thing that came to my head, alright? Go with it."

Your dad rolled his eyes. "What, poochie-pie?"

"Poochie-pie, really?"

"Well you called me honey-bumpkin."

"I feel like there's a point to this charade, guys." You piped up. "Anyone going to share it?"

"Right." Your dad shook his head again, this time symbolising that he was shaking away the previous seriousness to return to his playful banter with his wife. "What do you find strange, my beautiful wife?"

"Aw." Your mum cooed. "I find it strange how our little ___, who is usually so perceptive and smart, hasn't noticed that her plate is a little wobbly while she's been trying to eat."

"Really? She hasn't noticed the whopping great envelope under her food?"

"No she hasn't."

You saw it after they pointed it out to you. Your confusion was clearly etched on your face as you moved your plate out of the way to reveal a large envelope addressed to you. It was in Jimin's handwriting. Since you'd both entered the world of the Internet and discovered instant messaging, the letters became few and far between. The last time you saw his handwriting, it was messy and childish. But the lettering on the envelope was small, but neat. He'd improved a great deal. You turned it over to reveal a small, cute sticker keeping the envelope shut. It was a bright pink heart cartoon sticker that would be almost garish if it didn't come from Jimin. You, gently, in order to spare Jimin's feelings, peeled open the envelope to reveal a short handwritten letter from him.

"Read it out loud!" Your mum exclaimed, her excitement too strong to hide.

"In English!" Your dad interrupted, knowing your sense of humour would have made you begin to read it in Korean. You chuckled at how well your family knew you.

You cleared your throat and began to read:

To my bilingual bestie,

It's your boy, Chim-Chim here! It's been a while since we've done this, huh? I think the last letter I sent you was wishing you a Merry Christmas. Or was it a Happy New Year? I don't remember, I've slept since then.

I just wanted to let you know how proud we all are of you. You're doing so well in school, and now you're fluent in a whole other language. You continue to amaze me even now! I think you've even amazed your parents, too.

But my family and yours were talking and we thought it was a bit strange how you were fluent in the language of a country you've never visited before. Usually people visit the country then learn the language, but you've done things backwards. So, this needs to be rectified as soon as possible.

I hope you haven't made any plans for the summer break, because you're going to be spending it in Korea with me! SURPRISE! You have no IDEA how hard it's been for me to keep this from you.

Your mum and dad can't unfortunately get the time off work, but they've made us promise we'll pick you up from the airport and drop you off again when you go home. But I don't think I'll want to let you go home. I think I'll steal you and hide you somewhere where no one can find you, and then sneak you cakes and biscuits when nobody's looking. Yes. Let's do that!

Anyway, I'll see you in (at the time of writing this) 10 days, 12 hours, 30 minutes and 25 seconds. 24... 23... 22... 21... oh I'm so excited! Your arrival at Incheon can't come quick enough.

All my love,

Chim-Chim!

Xxxx

As soon as you looked up from your letter, your parents screamed at you. They ran over to you and wrapped their arms around you, still screaming at full pitch in your ear as you began to cry happy tears. You were going to finally meet your best friend in the whole world, and it was all down to the people you loved the most.

[magical-sim-girl]

SSFF Challenge 8 - Introducing Myself!

Hello! I just wanted to introduce myself since I’m still a bit of a newbie in the Simblr community, and @simblrsimplyforfun challenge 8 was the perfect excuse! So here we go =D

This is me! ^^ 🦄💕 (in a quick selfie without filters xD I hope I haven't scared you 😂)

Introduce yourself, your name, age, where you live etc. What words would you use to describe yourself and why? What words would others use? Tell us some childhood stories that you think show who you are.

My name in real life is Ailén, but my pen name since the age 13 is Piper, nowadays most of my friends call me that name and I’m really more comfortable with it, so please just call me Pip or Piper! ^^ I’m 19 years old and I live in Buenos Aires, Argentina 🇦🇷

I can describe myself as a kind person, I love meeting new people, to debate about random things with them and listening to them speaking about what they like or their plans, I’m very creative but sometimes I just run out of inspiration 😂 I’m also very affectionate! I love hugging people I appreciate and telling them I like them. Other people... I don’t know, I can’t speak for everyone 8′D but I guess they also see me as affectionate, sometimes even clingy, I act goofy at times (you can see it mostly when I talk, I tend to finish my sentences with ‘ahre’ a lot, which is an Argentinian expression to state you’re just joking), so I guess they think I have a good sense of humor as well, I love making people laugh 😄 I’ve also been called ‘cute’ or ‘adorable’ more than once and I’m proud of it! 😄💕

About my childhood... I dunno it was pretty normal, although I got bullied from 5th grade to second year of high school :( it was tough, I even developed depression at the age of 14 due to the lack of friends and the constant name-calling and pranks, but I don’t know if it would be okay to talk about it since that was on my teen years... Overall, my childhood was okay, I used to be a curious little girl, I loved to wear pink dresses or skirts xD pink was always my favourite colour c: 💟 At the age of 8 I was forced to attend English lessons as an extracurricular activity, and I ended up loving it! I’m currently teaching this language to my bff’s aunt and I’m planning on studying English at university to be a teacher ^.^ I also had a fascination for women as a child, I always created female characters for my stories, or played girl barbies with my friend, nowadays I’m a feminist and always try to defend my fellow women c: (as long as it’s an unfair situation for them, ofc) ♀️💕

Write a little about your simming time. How do you like to play your game? Which style of blogs do you like? Who are your main characters and how did you come up with them? Do you tell people in RL you are a simmer?

I learnt about sims when I was in 6th grade I think, but didn’t take interest on it until sims 4 was announced, so I started palying when I was 15 ^^ I love playing legacy style, and also use the game to take nice pictures (I’m still learning how to edit, it’s quite fun but also time-consuming ;; ).

I follow all the simblrs who follow me tbh ^^ but I love simatography blogs! Maybe one day I’ll learn how to do proper edits and poses, and then I’ll become a simatography simblr 😂

Main characters... I don’t really have, my favourite ones though are Anine and Kyung-soo. Anine was the result of a frustration night *shot* I didn’t use to have much confidence on my sims, so I put all of my effort on her, I really like the facial features of Nordic women, so I decided she’d have Nordic origins, and ended up loving her so much that I posted about her ^^ as for her personality, I didn’t have a slight idea of how her behaviour or characteristics could be, but by that time I was kind of obsessed with Overwatch, and all of a sudden imagined her in a D.Va cosplay thanks to zauma’s CC, so I thought the best was giving her a gamer/otaku likes, and her personality in general is really based off mine, she’s a happy-go-lucky girl in her late teens, always friendly and willing to help people. I had the idea of making an Asian OC the night I went to Monsta X concert, and that way I created Kyung, he’s kind of a frustrated idol lol, he’s got a really tragic story involving being rejected by his parents, friends and entertainment gorups, but is always smiling and tries his best to make people happy, kind of resembling the life of a kpop idol, who only wants to see their fans happy despite of having a tough life uwu

And yes, I usually talk about my strange obsession with sims with people, they don’t see it as something productive, but luckily I’ve never been judged badly because of it. Maybe my mum thinks it gets extreme at times, but I try to balance simming with real life activities :3

Write about your time on tumblr. Maybe some nice stories of the people you met. How you got started. How long have you been on here? What has been good and bad? What kind of things have your learnt? What kind of things do you think you can help other simmers with? Any nice stories from here? Do you still have your first sims?

(I didn’t know if I should have talked about Tumblr in general or the Simblr community... So I made a summary of both just in case)

I started using Tumblr when I was 14, my best internet friend had a blog by those times and encouraged me to make one as well. I was starting to get depressive by those years, so most of my posts or reblogs were about “dark” things (I deleted that blog long ago, lol), so Tumblr was like a safe place, where I could speak my mind out without getting judged, I even met some people who suffered the same illness as me, and they always supported me and gave me strength to keep going on (unfortunately I’ve lost contact with them :c)

Regarding Simblr, I joined in at the beginning of 2018 I think, I wanted to share my ideas with people, but I was too shy then... It was thanks to the SSFF challenges that I started getting out of my cocoon and talking to simmers, and I’m so glad I did! The people I met are lovely and I’m really happy to have them now ^^

Things I learnt are lots of... From meshing or modding, to social values. I mean, it’s always good to have basic knowledge of informatics (it helps a lot, especially where I live), and I’m very grateful for all of those tutorials who taught me so many things. But I learnt one thing or two about people in general, I always used to put words into others’ mouth, I always thought they didn’t like me because of my looks or my behaviour, that they thought I was weird; now, I understand that they might be like me, they’re simply too shy to talk, and I won’t know what they they actually think about me if I never go and say ‘hi’; and now thanks to that ‘hi’ I met wonderful people, people who are creative and won’t judge me... That’s the most precious thing I learnt 😊

I don’t think I could help other simmers from a technician point of view, but I’m always here to talk and share my little knowledge, I love hearing other simmers’ ideas (one of my best friends irl isn’t a simmer, but loves to create OCs and stories, and I’m always there to listen about them c: ), suggesting some other things for their stories, etc. I think I could offer more of a friendship than technical help, but it’s something as well! 😂

And yes, I keep my first sims! In a folder so full of various saves that I must erradicate someday *shot* I had them for three generations, if I remember correctly, the legacy began with a pink-haired sim named Jenna, she married a vampire townie from Bridgeport, they had a daughter, Emilie, Emilie married a townie from University, who was a Plantsim, so they had a plantsim daughter, Wynn, Wynn had an imaginary friend named Percy (who’s also a fairy) and they’re now in University, they’re a couple. I made such a chaos when I was 15 xD

Write about the people you have met here. Do you take part in discord chats? Met anyone in RL? Which simmers influenced you? Do you do RPs?

I don’t take part in discord chats, I made a discord user a few days ago but tbh I don’t use it a lot ;; I’d love to be in a server tho, it’s just that I don’t talk much when I’m in a group ^_^’

I haven’t met any simmer irl, I’d love to, tho! It seems to be a little hard to find simmers where I live 😂

The simmers that influence me the most are marshmallowsims, gruesim, theseprettylittlepixels and lehma! I want to develop my own style though, they’re my biggest references and hope to inspire people as much as they do someday ^^

And I’ve never done RPs, but I’d love to do some! Actually, I’m working on an AU with a sim of nonsimsical ‘s, it’s really fun to plan, and I hope I can do more of them in the future ^^

I think that's all. I want to add that you can always come and say hi! 🖐🏻💕 we can chat about sims or whatever you like, and also, if you got any other question for me or for my OCs (although their character sheets are still pending ;; ) don't hesitate to ask 😊

PS Excuse my horrible English ;;

[the-energon-hole]

How would TFP! Ratchet, Megatron, Soundwave, Bumblebee and one other bot of your choice react to their s/o, in the middle of a conversation, pausing for a moment before sneezing really hard like three times. These sneezes are really violent and make their whole head jerk with their force. Bonus points if it's the first time they've seen their s/o sneeze. (This is my first time requesting from you, I love your writing! Sorry if it breaks any of your rules.)

((A/N Not gonna lie, I had a little trouble with this one, I had to rewrite it a few times to get it just right~))

Ratchet

-It was like any normal conversation between the two of you, discussing mundane things like how your day was and what the plans were for the next few days, but he noticed you suddenly stopped speaking in your normal tone- and as he turned to look at you he took note that you had your face covered by your upper arm. He didn’t have a chance to ask before you released a very loud, and very violent reaction of some kind.

-He had never heard you, or any other human make such a strange and loud gesture before- he would have been much more worried had you not muttered the words “Oh! Excuse me! Shesh, it must be allergies” and continued what you were saying earlier. What was that though? He would have asked, but you didn’t really give him a chance as you were awaiting answers to questions of your own. 

-Though, now that he was paying attention, he heard one of the kids make a similar noise, albeit a little less violent than your most recent reaction- he heard them mocking each other for what they called “sneezing” and he decided to look it up on the human internet. He was just glad it was a normal reaction, and that you weren’t in any danger of some strange human disease.

Bumblebee

-You were in the middle of explaining a new show you wanted him to watch with you, he always thought you were so cute when you were passionate about things like this, but when you suddenly stopped and made a weird looking face and put your head in your hands faster than his optics could process- he felt his spark jump a little, he hasn’t seen you make that face before- are you ok??

-You made a very loud muffled noise, as your face was covered by your hands- your body also shook a little with all of the pressure you were exerting through that strange action he had never seen before. He let out a worried beep as you gave out a groan of some kind, he wasn’t sure if it was out of pain or not.

-”Ew, now I have to wash my hands” you said as you turned and walked away without so much as an explanation. He looked over to his other friends, to which Raf just shrugged his shoulders and said “That was some sneeze, huh?” It was a normal human function? Oh, thank primus, he thought it was something wrong!

Arcee

-If she was being honest, she could listen to you talk and talk all day if she had the chance. She loved being in your company- so when you made a surprisingly loud, repetitive noise while you were in the middle of telling her a story it absolutely confused her. Were you ok? What the heck was that?

-“I’m sorry, ‘cee. Excuse me” you said as you pulled out the hand sanitizer you keep on your person “It’s allergy season, I guess” you said as you rubbed your hands together to help kill the germs you just transferred to your hands. She was glad to hear you were ok, but sorry about all the dust and pollen around.

-She made a note to herself to clean up her quarters a little bit when she went back to base, after you explained to her what allergies were and what that violent reaction was to them. It was her job to make sure you are comfortable, and how can you be if she can’t clean up her area and make sure you don’t have a reaction like that anymore.

Megatron

-You two were just having a quiet conversation in the helm of the ship, mostly about cybertronian culture and what the goals of the Decepticons is as a whole- and in the middle of a question you were asking him, you let out a very loud and very violent scream type of noise. It didn’t really phase him as much as it did confuse him, he has had very few interactions with humans- was that normal?

-”Pardon me, Lord Megatron that was involuntary” He asked for clarification to which you explained to him what a sneeze was, and why the human body partakes in such a strange function. Human bodies, as much as he found himself enamoured with yours, will always be some strange and foreign biological thing to him. Sometimes gross, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle- as he was a great warrior of Kaon, nothing could deter him from you, not even these so called sneezes.

-Behind your back, however, he made sure that the Vehicons cleaned up every inch of the ship that had any kind of dust and contaminants in it- might as well avoid any kind of conversation interruption as much as he could. It was a control thing, at least that is what he told himself anyway.

Soundwave

-You were in the middle of telling Soundwave about the human process of politics to the best of your ability when you released a very loud and disruptive sneeze. You were able to cover your mouth with your arm quick enough, and sniffed a little as you apologized to the bot for the interruption.

-Before you could continue with your explanations, he replayed the sound to you in a quizzical manner to ask what that was and if you could explain it. You didn’t mind, as this was how it was between you two- you did most of the talking and he enjoyed listening, even about mundane subjects like sneezing.

-Soundwave took note of what you said about the human body, and compiled it into his human biology database. From his research into human biology, each function has a purpose in the evolution of your species- and sneezing was one of those normal functions- a way for your body to expel foreign contamination by containing it in mucus and expelling it via the mouth or the nose. Fascinating.

[clumsyphilip]

It’s In The Eyes

Hiding that you’re in love with your best friend can be difficult at the best of times, add in the fact that every time you’re together the internet makes endless gifs of your “heart eyes” and it can be impossible.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: None! (Well, like one swear word)

A/N: Honestly this was just an excuse to reference their constant love eyes at each other because it’s literally cute af

Dan’s been in love with Phil for as long as he’s known him.

Maybe even before that. As far as Dan can remember he’s had at least a crush on Phil from the moment he first saw him on camera and it’s never really changed. Obviously, their relationship’s developed as they have and he’s gone from being some secret internet fanboy to Phil’s best friend and whilst he’s always felt lucky to just be a part of his life, he can’t help but wish for something more.

And he’s always assumed that if they’re right together then they’ll figure it out, but the problem is that he wants Phil now, and it’s getting harder to hide.

He can’t seem to help himself. Everything that Phil does completely amazes him because he does everything so well and sometimes he just can’t stop himself from staring, he notices himself staring at Phil a lot.

But the cut of his jawline above his slender neck and broad shoulders is hard not to stare at. As are his blue eyes in harmony with his pale skin; long, dark eyelashes brushing stark cheekbones every time he blinks and Dan catches himself just taking Phil in far too often.

The problems start when it becomes second nature and he does it on camera, and the internet catches it too.

Now, he finds himself frozen part way down his tumblr dashboard, unable to scroll any further as he looks in horror at the gif set in front of him. There he is, looking at Phil as if his face is the first one he’s ever seen.

The only saving grace is that gif-set Phil seems oblivious to it as he plays The Sims, blissfully unaware that his supposed best friend is looking at him with that much intent. Though, Dan feels his fingertips turn cold at the realisation that there’s a fairly high chance that Phil might stumble on one of these gif sets and ask him about it and right on cue Phil decides to remind Dan that he’s sat in the same room as he is.

“Christ Dan, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Phil chuckles from the other end of their sofa. Dan slams his laptop lid down before he can even think about how suspicious he looks, blushing when Phil raises an eyebrow at him.

“It was nothing.” Dan laughs nervously. “Just a kind of creepy video.”

“Creepy how?”

“Like... Conspiracy theories and stuff.” He feels his blush turn deeper as he lies, knowing that he sounds completely unconvincing but trying to divert Phil’s attention for a moment. “Have you had dinner?”

“No actually, wondered if you fancied pizza?” Phil smiles easily as he looks away from Dan and back to his MacBook to edit his video. Taking a moment to marvel at him before shaking his head lightly, Dan stands up.

“I’ll grab drinks, you order.” He says, leaving the room quickly.

He sighs with relief once he’s out of Phil’s earshot, glad that he’s managed having to avoid explaining himself, for now. 

But he’ll have to be more careful.

--------

“Are you nearly done with that video yet?” Phil asks, poking his head around the door to their gaming room and making Dan jump.

“We need to get you a bell or something.” He mumbles. “But I actually just uploaded it.”

Phil gives him a thumbs up and an exaggerated smile before ducking out of the room to presumably go and sit back down now that he doesn’t have to worry about Dan’s lazy editing habits anymore. He knows that Phil’s gotten a bit curious as to why he’s volunteered to edit every gaming video they’ve done for the past two weeks but he just needs to make sure that no more clips of him staring at Phil make it onto the internet.

Honestly, he’s seeing more and more of them and he doesn’t understand how people can be quite so perceptive but it’s a problem because it’s getting harder to hide it from Phil. Despite knowing that he shouldn’t be staring like that, it doesn’t seem to stop him and trying to prevent Phil from seeing any of the gifs, or worse seeing it in person, is becoming increasingly difficult.

The trend seems to have caught on and now people are calling him “heart eyes Howell” and they’re tweeting it to Phil, who thankfully hasn’t mentioned it.

Dan pushes him up from his desk chair and shakes his legs out as he stretches his back, walking lazily into the living room and collapsing in the seat next to Phil.

Phil looks at him and opens his mouth but quickly closes it again to look back at his laptop, then he looks back to Dan again, then away, then back again and Dan pokes him lightly.

“Have I got something on my face?” He asks jokingly, smiling as Phil looks down in slight embarrassment.

“No, no it’s nothing.” 

“Come on.” Dan encourages, poking Phil’s arm again for good measure, making him laugh.

“It really is nothing, just well- have I got something on my face?” Phil turns his laptop to face Dan as he speaks, showing him a clip of the video that he literally just uploaded where Dan is just staring contentedly at the side of Phil’s face.

Dan feels his entire stomach flip, heat flaring through his chest and arms and making its way up to his face to light up his cheeks in a hot blush, he looks up at Phil and feels his insides constrict because he can’t help but appreciate how he looks now too. A half smile sits on his face delicately and he looks at Dan with such softness that Dan could almost swear that he was trying to take him in too.

“No.” Dan forces out after a while. “I didn’t even notice that, I must have just zoned out or something.”

Phil hums as if he’s thinking about whether he’s happy with Dan’s excuse or not, looking him up and down to try and gauge whether he’s lying. Doing his best to keep a straight face, Dan relaxes when Phil finally smiles over at him, bright and beaming.

“That’s so you.” He chuckles, going back to scroll through his twitter feed.

“Are they happy with it?” Dan asks, desperate to change the subject to just about anything else. 

“I think so.” Phil mutters absentmindedly, clearly not paying that much attention to him anymore.

Dan’s body doesn’t seem to want to calm down, still tingling as Phil drops the subject that his mind can’t seem to. How had he missed that in editing when he’d been trying so hard to notice it?

Grabbing his phone, he too opens twitter to look at the reaction to the video, trying desperately to calm down the nerves he feels over being caught by Phil and using all of his will power not to look back over at him.

He’s trying so hard not to look at Phil, in fact, that he doesn’t quite catch it when Phil begins to stare back at him.

--------

Weeks pass and nothing happens.

Nothing except that Dan notices Phil starting to coin a nickname of his own from the fans and he begins to see the term “love eyes Lester” thrown around almost as much as he see’s “heart eyes Howell”. Though when he watches the videos, and maybe he’s started following a few phan accounts “just to keep track of it all”, he can’t help but think that he looks at Phil with just more than when Phil looks at him.

It disappoints him, though he’s not sure why.

He knows Phil well enough to know that his feelings are unrequited, though it doesn’t stop him wishing otherwise. He’s been trying to talk himself out of being in love with Phil for quite literally years and come to find that it just doesn’t work like that.

Though coming to terms with it makes it hurt less every time Phil goes on a date, or calls him his “friend” or “roommate”, or leaves him on his own when he goes to see his family, Dan still occasionally feels a pang in his stomach or a tightening in his chest when he remembers the nature of their relationship. 

It’s not like he hasn’t tried to hint at more over the years. He’s tried to subtly get more touchy with Phil, only for Phil to look uncomfortable the entire time, and he’s definitely tried to make a drunken move and pass it off as the alcohol but Phil manages to just laugh it off and never mention it again. 

Eventually it made sense to stop hinting and either drop it completely or at least let Phil move at his own pace, though he hasn’t exactly decided which one of those he’s doing now.

As it is, tonight’s one of those nights where his chest feels tighter than normal because Phil’s away and he's counting down every minute that passes until he finally gets a Skype call.

He taps his fingers on the desk mindlessly as he stares at his computer, deciding that if he’s going to talk to Phil then he’s going to do it properly like he would for a liveshow. Staring at the little clock in the corner, he watches as another minute ticks by and Phil still doesn’t call him, slouching back in his chair and sighing loudly.

“Come on.” He whisper to himself, jumping when a ringtone goes off almost simultaneously, Phil’s name flashing across the monitor. “Magic.” 

He answers the call instantly, giving Phil a dorky wave and laughing as Phil mimics the gesture. 

“How’s the great north?” Dan asks, unable to take the smile off his face as Phil shakes his head at him.

“Cold and full of strange creatures.” He wriggles his fingers as he speaks before covering his mouth to hide his tongue as it pops out when he smiles at Dan again.

“And the Lester clan?” 

“All good! I actually can’t stay for long because we’re all having dinner soon but I just thought I’d check in.”

“I’m not a child.” Dan rolls his eyes, trying to hide the way that his whole mood brightened at the fact that Phil called to check that he’s okay and not just because he’s bored.

“I know, I know.”

Dan hears Phil’s mum call something from outside the room and Phil sighs as he tilts his head towards the door to hear her better. 

“Yeah, I will do!” He calls at the door, sighing even louder when he turns back to Dan. “Right so this is really embarrassing but she’s forcing me to say something to you.”

“Okay?” 

There’s a silent moment as Phil stares at the ceiling before looking back at the webcam to speak to Dan again. 

“Mum saw me staring at you in our latest video and says I should apologise because ‘staring is rude’”

As hard as he tries, Dan can’t hide the laugh that bubbles it’s way up his chest and out of his mouth, only getting louder as he sees the blush covering Phil’s face on the other end.

“Stop laughing at me!” He says exasperatedly.

“Sorry but that’s actually priceless, Phil.” Dan chokes out between laughs. “You actually got made to apologise by your mum for looking at me.”

“Please, make this more embarrassing.”

“Alright I’ll stop, but you will literally never live that down.”

They both quieten as Dan tries to stop himself from laughing anymore and Phil just watches him through the screen, he looks at Dan with one eyebrow raised for a moment before he shrugs and lowers it again.

“Maybe I can see what she means, it is kind of weird to be stared at like that.” He says.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re staring at me now.”

Dan coughs in surprise before he regains enough composure to speak again. “We’re on a video call, what are you expecting me to do?”

“Most people just look at themselves.”

“Most people are vain.”

“Alright.” Phil shrugs, tilting his head towards his door once again. “Right that’s my cue, I might call you tomorrow if I get time but I’m off for now.”

“Okay, have fun!” Dan smiles, secretly letting out a sigh of relief that Phil’s getting called away so he can’t question him anymore. They both give the same over-animated waves that they did when the conversation started and then the screen goes black and Dan’s left staring at his own face.

He goes about the rest of his evening, and it takes him nearly half an hour until the wind gets knocked out of him with the realisation that Phil’s mum had noticed Phil staring at him. Apparently, he’s that obvious too.

Just as quickly as hope began to rise in Dan’s chest, he pushes it down again because he’s not a teenager and just because his friend looks at him doesn’t mean that they’re looking at him.

He tries to put it out of his mind for the rest of the evening. Unsuccessfully.

--------

Dan’s not sure what in the world he’s done but suddenly Phil doesn’t seem interested in him. It’s not like he’s mad or they’re not getting on but Phil just isn’t really around anymore.

They film a video and then he goes straight to his room, or he makes them both dinner but then eats it alone, saying that he needs some “quality time” to himself. Which Dan would understand, but it’s constant lately.

He’s taken to staying in his room in the evenings because waiting for Phil in their living room every night was beginning to feel desperate and he needs to feel like he’s isolating himself on purpose and not because he’s not being given any other choice. 

Also, he’s noticed that in their videos Phil seems stiff, wooden almost. Not in a way that anyone but Dan would notice but the thing that stands out the most to him is that Phil doesn’t look at him at all, doesn’t even glance in his direction for the duration of every video they’ve filmed for the past two weeks and Dan just cannot figure out what it is that’s changed.

Since they Skyped, who stares at who hasn’t been brought up once and Dan assumed that it was forgotten but Phil’s avoidance to look at Dan seems just too deliberate to be coincidental but Dan can’t think of a non-awkward way to bring the topic up.

So he just sits in his room alone, hoping that eventually Phil will go back to normal and they can forget the whole thing.

He’s halfway through a bowl of pasta before he hears a knock at his door, and he almost throws his food halfway across the room with the urgency at which he gets up to answer it, running to the door.

He pulls the door open quickly to a clearly sleepy, and frankly adorable, Phil on the other side. Phil’s staring down at his feet and wringing his hands together, long fingers entwining with one another as he drags his gaze upwards to fixate on Dan.

Their eyes meet immediately and they stare into each other. Dan does his best to control his breathing, but eventually has to break the gaze before he gives himself away.

“We need to talk about it.” Phil mumbles, dropping his own eyes back down to the floor. Dan shifts uncomfortably.

“About wha-”

“About the staring.” 

Phil looks to Dan quickly before looking away again, eyes darting around the room but not focussing on anything in particular as Dan tries to take a moment to collect his thoughts.

About the staring.

Fuck.

“About what staring?” He asks innocently. Maybe, he thinks, if he can downplay this one more time he can get away with it for good and it can be forgotten. Ultimately he can’t mess things up with Phil over something as simple as looking at him.

Though he knows that he doesn’t just look at him, he admires him. And it’s all over his face.

“There you go again, staring at me, it always seems like you want to...”

“Like I want to what?”

Dan’s heart hammers against his ribcage as he comes to the decision that this is his moment. It’s too late to pretend he doesn’t know anymore; all or nothing, do or die, this is it.

He mentally prepares himself for what he’s about to do and takes one more longing look at Phil to drink him in as much as he can. Ruffled hair, tired eyes and perfection in front of him, hopefully thinking the same as he is because if not... Well, best not to think about if not.

“Well.” Phil mutters, reconnecting his gaze with Dan’s and shuffling slightly closer to him. “Like you want-”

His sentence is cut short as Dan takes a final steadying breath before surging forwards to kiss Phil, bringing a hand up to cup the back of his head gently as he does so. Bracing himself for Phil to push him away. He can only try to contain his smile as Phil melts in his touch instead, taking the other step forward so that he can wrap an arm around Dan’s waist to pull him closer.

Dan feels his body ignite, warmth spreading from his fingertips into his core as Phil presses his lips against Dan’s, moving them needily as he pulls lightly on his hip, free hand resting round his neck in an attempt to pull him closer.

They kiss sweetly for a while, light brushes of their lips that leave them both tingling with goosebumps forming wherever the other one touches them before Phil breaks it, pulling away slowly and opening his eyes to meet Dan’s again.

“Like you want to do that.” He sighs happily, beaming at Dan.

“As if you can talk, love eyes Lester.” Dan teases, enjoying the way that Phil looks away from him coyly. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you too.”

“Shut up, heart eyes Howell.”

--------

A/N: so i literally just wrote this on a complete whim because i got the idea and ran with it and now here it is, written at 1 a.m so sorry for any mistakes!

i really hope you enjoyed this one as it was fab to write, please let me know your thoughts if you like and thank you for reading!!

other fics can be found (here) ❤️

[r95irth]

It’s time for...The oc presentation of (last) week (yes im late xx sorry) 

It’s Tsubaki’s turn now. Next time it will be a girl, but I dont’ know which one yet, so don’t hesitate to point me one if you want. 

Tsubaki Chuzenji

Writer comment about his development : It is one of the first i created for the class and he was almost completed in one go. Yet he keeps surprising me every time i write him. He’s the kind of character you only get to really know when you put him in action i’m afraid. It is also troublesome because the more i write him, the more he gets on autism-spectrum (which is okay i’ve never written one it’s interesting) but just like Mahô and her mental trouble, i don’t like to state the name of their particularity. Because when you do that it’s easier to say “then it’s her disease speaking” “that quality/flaw is due to the disease” or even to just sum up a character’s identity to that disease name (or sexuality, for all that matters). I prefer only stating facts, actions and emotions, and let the reader choose if he wants this to be this mental disease, or something else. Maybe I'm wrong to do it but I feel more confortable writing this way. 

His character in five words : Introvert, independant, harsh, imaginative, loyal.

His quirk :  Tsubaki’s power is hard to understand, one of the reason why is because as Tsubaki barely talks, he can’t explain it well. But what is sure is that he controls the sounds coming from him. He can change the tone of his voice for example, twist it to make it sound girly or correct it so it sounds right when he sings. When he plays a musical instrument he often let out a small sound, barely audible, so it mixes with the instrument’s sound and make it his own.  

Tsubaki ’is from the “Recovery” family, and yet he uses his power less for healing than fighting. Two reasons for that ; first sounds is used a lot during healing process (for echo, or relaxing the patient) but is not very effective to actually heal. Second is because he wants to prove that he’s not as weak as his family thought he was and for that he must proves that he can defends himself.

His favorite way to fight is to make a lot of sound (clapping hand, snapping fingers) and confuses the opponent with it, making them hear it everywhere but where he’s. He uses the sens against them. He can also makes a person dizzy, as he hits in fact the inner ear (which control equilibrium).

He has some sort of sonar like ability. It’s more like he can visualize where his sound his going as easily as he can picture himself walking down the hallway.

When he was younger he used his power to erase all the sound he as making, even laughing sound. You could see him laughing bout you couldn’t hear it!

Likes : Music, his walkman (yes he has a walkman because CD are better), music instruments, empty room with good echo. People who doesn’t pressure him to talk. His friends. Internet, social network on it and online games.

Dislikes : His pink hair, crowded place, lot of noise, people touching him, social interactions in real life.

His family : His mother is from the “Recovery” family, she’s the youngest daughter of Recovery Girl. She followed her mother’s footsteps and was a hero for a long time, then decided to become the manager of her elder sister. His father is more ordinary, though he did try to become pianist when he was young he gave up on that dream and took an office job in the music industry. Now the couple are both managers, one for heroes, the other for idols. Tsubaki’s quirk is a mystery since his mother’s quirk is to reverse the decay of anything she touches and his father might be fan of music and has a good ear, but his power has nothing to do with it ; his skin changes color depending of the scent around him.  

Tsubaki likes his parents very much ; don’t ask him which one he prefers it would only makes him shut down completely. On one hand he’s very affectionate with his mother and she’s one of the very few he’s accepting to be touched by. On the other hand he has developed a way to talk with his father, using music instead of words ; like a code.

His mother doesn’t understand why his son suddenly stopped talking and is still looking for answers. She stopped trying to cure him / force him to talk after a few years, and her husband convinced her that, since Tsubaki had nothing wrong physically, he would speak eventually if he had something to say. Until then they just had to wait. It’s still hard for her since Tsubaki does not talk to her, at all, not even with the music-code. His mother had done her best to understand what happened when her son stopped talking, asking the kindergarten staff, seeing specialist after specialists, even hypnotizers ones. It never worked.

His father doesn’t need answer for his son’s trouble, but he does need reassurance regarding Tsubaki protection. For him it’s the future that matters, not the past. He knows that his son won’t ever answer their call if he’s lost and won’t cry for help if someone abduct him, so he’s very concerned about the practical side of Tsubaki’s problems. He’s also very saddened that Tsubaki doesn’t accept being touched by his father, at all, not even holding hands.

Tsubaki has an older sister, but their relation is a bit hard, since she’s very protective of him and at the same time very jealous by the way he’s “favored” by their parents. She was also very afraid that her brother would ruin their parents’ marriage. But that didn’t happen and Tsubaki always been sweet and cute with her so she can’t stay mad at him for long. She’s also the one who introduced him to internet.  She was once abducted by villains and that’s the reason why their mother stopped being a hero and signed Tsubaki in the Peace office program for children.  

Overall, the family is centered around Tsubaki and his problem, and very heaved with guilt. His mother feels guilty for her son’s problem, his father feels guilty for not protecting him from whatever harmed him to such extend, even his sister has guilt, thinking that maybe, just maybe if she wasn’t abducted it wouldn’t have happened. Tsubaki feels guilty to make them feel that way and not being able to be the son they all want him to be.

To escape from that guilt, he loves to be out of the house. His favorite places are Peace office, his grandmother’s house (who he is very close to, since she’s a mix of her father, not pressuring him to talk, but also his mother, wanting to understand what makes him ok). He will also like the dorms of UA.

Secret past : “words cuts like knives, but you can’t see or heal the wound they make” despite not remembering who told him that Tsubaki took this sentence to heart. Maybe it is the reason why he stopped talking, but he’s not sure. He doesn’t remember why he stopped himself and now it’s too hard to try. He’s just not used to it, and comfortable with words anymore. All they know about his “problem” is that it started when he was 3 years old. One day he came back from kindergarten, and he just stopped talking. His sister had been abducted at this time and so it took a while for the parents to notice that their son’s silence was not due to the pressure/atmosphere at home. When they realized it was already too late. The kid had always been a bit awkward, even before that, but losing his voice made his strangeness even more obvious to everyone. What is important to understand though is that Tsubaki is conscious of the problem, he wants to get rid of him too, at some extent, but he can’t. He had try and try, but he never finds the right timing, the energy or the right word, so he shuts up. He feels like he lives one step behind everyone, sometimes he even can’t even understands how the conversation goes to one point to another and feels terribly stupid for not seeing what everyone else is capable of. (But he’s not stupid, he knows that, so what is wrong with him?). The other reason he just can’t change now is that is whole life is based on his mutism. The way he acts, the way he thinks, the way his friends knows him and the way his family treats him. When he tries to think of what would his life look like if he could talk, all he can think of is “i won’t be anything special anymore.” and this thought frightens him even more.

Happiest memory : Tsubaki has a lot of happy memories and wouldn’t be able to choose only one. He cherished the first time his sister took him on her knees while she was playing on the internet, on the home computer. He liked every time she explained how it worked to him and the games they did after a while, when they both had a computer to play on. He always recalls with fondness the way they made up a music code with his father, how he first played whistles, then symbals, then piano. He would never forget either the way his mother always brings him into house chores and turns the whole thing into a game, which always end up into a big tickles fight. The taste of his grandmother’s candy is still his favorite. And to be honest, one of the best place in the word for him is the Peace office music room, where he became friends with Satoru, then Max, Riku, Satsuki and Mahô.

Saddest memory : When he thinks about the sentence he’s always kind of sad and scared. But he doesn’t remember why so it’s not a sadness he understands. He doesn’t have a awful memory that put him into tears every time but he’s ashamed of his behaviour when he was 12. This period he calls in his head “the dark age” was when he was introduced to internet community for the first time. And he found out he could talk on the internet without problem, writing was easier than talking. And he said a lot of bullshit, awful things to people he didn’t know and probably hurt some. It got better after some time, and now he has set some rules to himself so it’s easier. Though he’s very slow to answer.  

Best friends : Satoru and Max are his first and best friends. He met them before UA, in the Peace office program and didn’t let go of them since then. Satoru was the first to reach out to him and Tsubaki is probably one of the few who likes Satoru’s power. For this reason, Satoru is also one of the very few Tsubaki allows to be touched by. The friendship took a ong time to be build but now Tsubaki would be lost without it. Max is his second best friend, and the only reason he’s behind Satoru is because Max’s power doesn’t help Tsubaki to communicate with others. But they are more close in a lot of way, since they both like art and that Max is very shy.

Riku is also Satoru’s friends, and like Mahô, Riku is not the kind of person Tsubaki would have try to know better. Still he ended up liking the presence of Riku, as long as someone is there to recall the teenager that enough is enough. Riku has a bit of trouble understanding that Tsubaki needs time alone. He finds very useful that Riku can talks for three person at the same time though, people never complain about Tsubaki’s silent when Riku is here to fill the gap.

Satsuki is more the type of person he would have gotten along by himself. Her calm and composed behaviour makes him feel safe and she’s rarely stressed or anxious. Besides she wants to become a nutritionist and so understands really well mental health problem -or at least try to- without being intrusive. He likes her very much even if they barely communicate. He just hope she feels as at ease as him in his presence. But, when Satsuki started going out with Satoru in middle school things got a bit harder. Tsubaki felt jealous and anxious that his best friend would replace him by his girlfriend. Fortunately it didn’t happened and now Satsuki and Satoru broke up cleanly so everything is as it was before.

Mahô is the kind of person Tsubaki would have never gotten along in the first place if she wasn’t Satoru’s best friend to begin with. Since he had to deal with her a lot he grew accustomed to her presence, and then ended up calling her a friend. He was even surprised to find that they had a lot in common, as Mahô is blunt and rude when she speaks, often ending up hurting people without meaning to. But she also likes to sing (badly) and it’s the one friend he can do karaoke night without a single hesitation. And they grew even closer when Sator started going out with Satsuki, since they were both afraid to be neglected by their best friend. Hopefully it didn’t happen, but Tsubaki and Mahô still exchanged email adresses and talks a lot via text messages since then. Besides she also enchanted his headphones so he could listen to music and important conversation at the same time.

Get along well with : Ryota who also likes to sit a bit away from the crowd in the room to draw, shares his interest in art and is calm. Takashi who is a gamer and likes to write. Kyouji and Kahei are also his friends while gaming, but they are a bit too loud when they play so a bit less than Takashi. Yule, Saiya, Kussan are patient and quiet, so being with them is easy. Yume and Reika are his music friends, since they both play an instrument.

Doesn’t get along with : Those Tsubaki doesn’t get along with can be divided into four categories. The first one, loud people that he can’t keep up with (especially during conversation) Shiori, Koyuki, Kohaku and Riichi (who is the worst because he can divided himself into 7 different people all as loud as the original). He can still manage to some extent, with the first category. He needs time and training and people who can accept that he’s slower when it comes to communication (which is not the case of everyone). Second one would be tactile people who can’t understand what personal space is (and that his is one meter diameter) Yuu, and Goro. Again he can manage with the second category pretty easily, it just asks him a bit more of effort since he has to remember to always be out of their reach. The third one would be those who made him feel uncomfortable for one reason or another, Azuma for example, is scary because of his glare quirk, and silence in presence of Hide turns the atmosphere into a scary movie scene. The third category is harder for him, and he tends to never be alone with them. The last category, and the worst one, are those who meddle into his business and try to cure him when he didn’t ask them to. : Hana and Monmen. He avoids them at all cost.

Crush on : Tsubaki is very interested in romance, especially the one they describes in songs. He doesn’t feel anything like that for anyone in the class though. He’s very close to Yuu on that subject and look for the “soulmate”. So far he didn’t find them. He wouldn’t be able to rank people in his class aloud, but he still thinks that Kahei is the prettiest girl, and Satoru is the cutest boy. (He likes people smaller than him)

Conclusion about his relationship in class : Tsubaki doesn’t like going out of his comfort zone when it comes to socializing, and so he is not putting a lot of effort making friends in UA. This is one of the reason why they splitted up the four friends (Satoru, Mahô, Max and Tsubaki) in two classes. He still clinging to his old friends no matter what.

-Evaluation of his teacher Aizawa Shouta-

Potential as a hero : Tsubaki was a surprise, he didn’t rely too much on his family heritage and has his own style of fighting. His lack of communication though, is troublesome and will give him a lot of trouble in the future if he doesn’t find a way to work with it. For now, he seems to be doing fine with his couple of friends who understands his needs, but as a hero you don’t always works with people you know and used to.

Weak points : His lack of communication and his fragile mind is always in the way. He can be as powerful as he wants, as long as he isn’t be able to communicate with his teammates or be able to repeat the information he stole with his power, no one can rely on him. Hence no one can work with him on the field. I don’t ask him to talk, but i ask him to find a way to do his job without talking, instead of denying there is a problem. Without this, he would probably be on the top of the class during practical exams.

Strong points : His power is definitely powerful and versatile. He can used it to support, fight and spy missions.

Commentary : He passed through recommendation and showed great abilities, but even if we ask of you to be able to save yourself, a hero job is to be able to save people too.

[japanjazz-blog]

It all started when...

“Have you ever heard of InuYasha?” my new friend asked me in 7th grade while we warmed up our clarinets in band class.

Ah yes, InuYasha. How so many anime interests begin. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I could not comprehend the hours that I would spend binge-watching Evangelion, or how many times I would sneak downstairs to watch the newest episode of Trigun. I remember being upset that Princess Mononoke didn’t record, and my father standing in front of the television with his hands on his hips, a concerned look on his face.

“Enough is enough, Maria. You’re obsessed with this shit. It’s a damn cartoon. You’re getting too old for this.”

Little did my dad know, that was only the beginning.  

I could not get enough of this weird thing called “anime”. Why are there eyes so big? Why do all of the girls talk like mice? Why is everything so shiny and overly cute? And why am I crushing on animated men with impossibly good hair?

(Actually, now that I’m here in real life Tokyo, I will say that many Japanese men do have amazing hair. But I digress.)

The worst part was when the friend who got me into it was not into it anymore. Thankfully I had many nerd friends who got the references and would watch whole series with me. But to be honest, it alienated some of my very close friends. Talking about it now, we laugh, but back then it actually drove a big wedge between us that I was unaware of.

“You were obsessed,” one of my good friends would say with a nostalgic chuckle. “All you ever fucking talked about was new episodes, or bishounen. Remember you would all fight over who owned which guy?”

“Thank god you got over that,” my other friend agreed. “It was hard to talk to you sometimes because that was all you were interested in.”

This is surreal for me to hear. I don’t remember being solely focused on anime: I loved classic rock, I was in the marching band, I loved reading, I liked geeky movies. I was that weird Hot Topic nerd in high school, for sure (or I wanted to be, at least) but...was anime really all I talked about?

“YES,” everyone would confirm emphatically.

 It’s a surreal experience to finally be in Tokyo after this anime phase has passed. However, it’s not exactly a phase - I watched a series once I came here because I felt compelled to do so. I mean, here I am in Japan, am I really not going to watch what interested me in the culture in the first place? However, watching it as a 27 year old woman, compared to watching it as my 13 year- old self, was a strange experience I was not expecting.

….how did I never notice the blatant sexism?

I’m planning a future post about the series that I watched, but let’s talk about anime in general. I can think of some strong female characters, for sure, but to be honest, in most animes, the female characters are there to look cute, wear tiny outfits that show off their prepubescent bodies, or to offer panty shots or nosebleeds for the male characters (side note: apparently the nose bleed symbolizes a rush of blood to the penis, but animes are not allowed to show erections or else they are considered hentai, or porn. So instead, when a guy is turned on, blood shoots out his nose in a ridiculously dramatic way). Often they’re seen fretting over the food they prepare for their friends, something that is very real in Japanese culture: women are praised when they are able to assemble the perfect bento box. Their strong characteristics are always love and devotion to their friends or a significant other. But can’t a woman be a strong character in ways that do not involve feelings towards others? Why can’t a female character have admirable qualities that are not related to their relationship to other people? We often see the loner type expressed in cold men, wayward samurai who don’t know how to love or who are jaded by war...but rarely do we see women portrayed this way. They are often the loving characters, the characters who are always sorry, gomen nasai, blushing while they spill drops of tea on the table, as though this is the worst thing in the world.

However, there are also many strong female characters in anime, and their strengths are independent of their relationships with others. Some that come to mind are Princess Mononoke, Rei from Evangelion, Winry from FullMetal Alchemist, and Tsunade from Naruto, the first female leader of the ninja village. If you’ve got some other great suggestions, because I know these women exist in anime, then please comment!

But flat female characters aside, let’s talk about the real focus of all of these women: of course, their bodies. The girls who are being sexed up are children, fourteen or fifteen years old. However, their bodies are often drawn much more maturely, with large jiggling breasts and ample asses that are disproportionate to the rest of their bodies.

Listen internet: I walk through Shinjuku and Ikebukuro weekly, and Japanese women do not look like that. The women’s bras here are most often the size of training bras in America. The average body time is very slim with little to no curves, and practically no body fat. As a result: no jiggling ass, no jiggling breasts. (Although I will admit, the random Tokyo breezes that lift girls’ skirts are real - I’ve gotten hit with sudden gusts and flashed the whole sidewalk unintentionally many times…)

And yet, these portrayals of Japanese women are the most popular references in America. I imagine that many tourists would be shocked to see that average Japanese women rarely wear skirts at thigh length, hardly ever show their shoulders even in the summertime, and especially do not show cleavage. Many women wear turtlenecks or long sleeve shirts under their spaghetti string dresses, because the dress alone is considered inappropriate unless you are going to the club. Of course I see young people dressed sexy, in stiletto shoes with thigh tight dresses, their hair dyed a bright strawberry blond; or girls rocking crop tops and baggy pants (currently a popular fashion trend in Japan). In America, the common sex symbol is cleavage; in Japan, it’s legs. I always wondered why the Sailor Scout’s legs were so long and slim, but it makes sense now - the sex appeal. Considering that women often wear baggy pants, it makes sense that showing a lot of leg is considered sexual.

But the most infuriating, most uncomfortable part of this realization thus far, for me, has been maid cafes.

My inner teenager was so excited to go to Akihabara, to see the anime mecca of the world. I felt like I had been waiting to see a place like this since the 8th grade. And that’s just it - in the 8th grade I would have died a thousand deaths to walk through the stories of anime stores, to look at all of the ￥10,000 figurines, to try and collect a new series. But as an old fart….oh sweet Jesus. 

The lights. The sounds. The constant assault of everything...oh my god, I wanted to leave as soon as I got out of the subway. In every inch of Akihabara, there is something happening, and it’s flashy, high-pitched, and often wearing an impossibly short skirt. There were some areas where two pop songs were on full blast at the same time, and my brain started to cry. Someone is always shouting Japanese from a loudspeaker, advertising a new band; anime characters are clashing swords together in an over dramatic final duel on a giant gumbo screen; and along the sidewalks, women in their 20’s are dressed as though they are 15, handing out flyers to the maid cafe.

Maid cafes are a well known part of Japanese pop culture. Basically, you pay hourly to sit in a cafe and order adorable food shaped like cute animals that is served to you by girls in adorable outfits. The amount of frill that laces these dresses is no joke:

  Admittedly, I totally want an ice cream shaped like a lion. I mean come on, that shit’s adorable. But what’s not adorable is the whole maid culture: these women are not 15, they’re nearly my age, but because of their slim bodies, they are able to pass off as teenagers. And the voices...dear lord. There is no way that someone naturally speaks in such a high-pitched tone. Although women speaking in a high-pitch is considered part of an overall business tone (American women do it too, I’ve noticed, just not as high), the pitch of this speech is...unnatural. As though each were a doll that are speaking because you squeezed their hand or pressed the sticker on their chest.  

Standing outside, watching these women advertise with plastic painful smiles on their faces, I realized something I never considered before: all of these women are being forced to act like they are 15 years old because it’s what male customers want. They don’t want to order a call girl, a fully grown woman - they want a girl who is pure, who acts innocent and uncertain, and chances are this kind of girl would be an inexperienced teenager.

It gets better: you can get trading cards.

Now as far as I know, some maid cafes have cartoon trading cards, and others promote certain maid cafe animes. However, you can also get trading cards of the women that work there - with fake names, fake interests that are often devoid of any intelligence or personality, and of course, a fake teen age. There are men who keep these in binders like Pokemon cards, and who wait hours at a cafe to be served by their favorite girl - a very expensive pass time, as customers pay by the hour and, during a rush,  have their stay limited by the cafe. These cards can also be signed and autographed photos of the customer with their favorite maid, who will sign it with a practiced autograph of a fake name usually surrounded by cute little hearts, or an animal face.

Maybe I’m being a Debbie Downer, or I have irrational expectations for something that is supposed to be sweet and innocent. But to me, there is something very disturbing about a woman applying for a job where she must act ten years younger, speak in a consistent, unrealistically cheerful tone, and autograph photos of herself with a fake name. Why don’t these men go out and meet real women, with real names and interests? Why do they only feel safe through a simulation of leaching on teenage girls? And why are they allowed to wait hours until their favorite maid comes to work? Stalking is a huge problem in Japan, and I feel this kind of situation is a golden opportunity for a predator to find it’s prey. However, I haven’t been able to find any evidence or proof that the popularity of maid cafes has led to an increase in stalking in Japan. 

Has anyone had a positive experience at a maid cafe? Has anyone ever felt uncomfortable going to one? Please share your experiences below - this is only what I’ve seen and how I’ve felt, so I’m curious about other people’s opinions. 

Thanks for reading! This whole blog will not be posts like this, I just wanted to get this off my chest (no pun intended). 

Articles you may find interesting on this topic:

https://japantoday.com/category/features/lifestyle/the-past-present-and-future-of-maid-cafes

https://uncorneredmarket.com/japan-maid-cafe/ 

Trigger warning for this article about stalking and domestic abuse:

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2016/09/10/national/social-issues/japan-waking-menace-stalking/#.WTZ46VV97rc

Disclaimer:  I don’t think you’re a pervert/creep if you’ve gone to a maid cafe! I feel like I should go at least once before leaving Tokyo, because it’s such a well known staple of attraction. But...I can’t shake the feeling that I’m contributing to something that is really detrimental to young Japanese girls.

(Pictures are not mine, but I plan on using my own in the future.)

[randomwoohoo]

Judy: Previously on Zoomorphia

Nick: Carrots and I as Hybrid taught the silver wolf, named Bolt or whatever, a lesson. One punch beat him~ Easy-peasy~

Clawhauser: Wow! That’s what really happened!

Judy: No. It’s actually the opposite… His speed overwhelmed us… He even abducted the robbers. I’m not sure what he gonna do with them but… it probably won’t end well...

Nick: Don’t feel so bad about it. Those four mammals were criminals after all.

Judy: They should be brought to justice… not killed as someone pleases.

Clawhauser: Ahh… Don’t stress, you two. Anyway, you guys did a great job, taking care of the squirrel Savage and saving mammals.

Judy: Yeah, we did…

Nick: Aww, look at that smile~

Judy: I-I’m not smiling!

Nick: You so cute when you smile~

Judy: Don’t call me cute!!

Clawhauser: Teehee~ Now the Chapter 12~

.-.. . - .----. ... / -.-. --- -. - .. -. ..- .

Fanfiction.net

A recorded video clip showed Hybrid Archer form taking a stance on a table, aiming a bow before launching a glowing gladius sword like an arrow. A camera phone hastily turned to record image of a purple squirrel monster stabbed to the Bug-Burga restaurant’s window.

“Not bad~” An alaskan tundra wolf in a groovy black leather jacket, Bolt, stroked his chin while he was watching the clip on his smartphone, sitting on an oversized couch inside a motorhome.

“Bah!” A slender black wildcat with white paws, eyebrows and muzzle used a giant paper fan to slap Bolt’s head. “You crossed the line. What would you do if they discard their drivers?” She was dressed in white shirt, pullover bra top and black capri pants.

“But what if he made them keep their noses out of our business? Wouldn’t our job go smoothly?” A plump tan lemming, wearing the same style jacket as Bolt, lounged on the table.

“I know, right?” Bolt asserted.

“Don’t overindulge him!” The wildcat rebuked the lemming.

“Why are you wasting time watching that video anyway? You were there yesterday, weren’t you?” Ignoring her, the lemming queried.

“Well~ I have nothing else to do.” Bolt leaned against couch backrest.

“Go out to do your job then!” She scolded him, slapping him with the paper fan once more.

- .... . -.-- / .- .-. . / .-- .- - -.-. .... .. -. --.

At early night, in ZPD lobby, Clawhauser was listening a song, Try everything acoustic version, recently released on Gazelle’s official Zootube channel. Generally, this song gives a good cheering-up vibe. Even so, this version, for some reasons,was oddly sorrowful. It was not surprising once he remembered how she was the last time she visited ZPD.

He was waiting for a certain someone…

Eventually, that certain someone appeared. Chief Bogo came downstairs and traipsed across the lobby towards the front door.

“Chief Bogo!” Clawhauser called his superior cheerily from behind the reception desk.

“What’s urgency?” Bogo went closer to Clawhauser sternly.

“Umm… No. But-” The chubby cheetah just wanted to have a chat with the cape buffalo. He thought that it would be great to talk about her latest song because they both are fans of Gazelle the famous Zootopian pop star.

“If there’s nothing urgent, leave a note in my office.” Bogo yawned tiredly. “I’m out. Bye.” He left the station.

Clawhauser was left alone, his smile fading away… He opened a picture on his phone gallery. It is the selfie of him and Bogo at Gazelle’s concert.

Not only Chief but everyone else has been busy lately. They all are facing problems. He reasoned with himself in order to push negative emotions aside. “I have to do something.” He told himself resolutely.

.... ..- .-. - / -.. .. ... - .- -. -.-. .

A red fox in a light green hawaiian shirt and red-and-blue striped dark indigo tie gave a sigh of contentment. “Tod bless day-off~” He sat sipping coffee at a table near cafe’s window. The morning sun shed light on the right half side of him and the left side of the short-sleeved teal t-shirted gray rabbit sitting facing the fox.

“Hey Nick”

“Hmm?” Nick the red fox put a mug down, looking at his bunny friend in pleasure, feeling delighted that she was doing better and he had free time to spend with her.

“Do you think that Bolt guy is responsible for mammals going missing?” Judy the European rabbit drank a soy milk latte.

After getting better, she returned to focus on works. At that time, she was speculating that the wolf who abducted the robbers might have something to do with the missing mammal cases.

“I think not.” Nick took another sip, pointing at a flat screen television mounted on the wall. Therefore, Judy turned her attention to the TV.

ZNN was reporting the news about the dead bodies found in river in Rainforest district. A female snow leopard news anchor reported that the dead bodies belonged to the absconding criminals charged with bank robbery crime. The pictures of mammals when they were alive were shown. The duo recognized them right away. They were those whom Bolt kidnapped.

In another word, the mammals Bolt abducted did not go missing. It was less likely that he was behind the cases.

“So, that’s out of the question, huh?” Judy faced away from TV, gazing at heart shape latte art a bit distorted.

The news reporting continued. It was assumed that the robbers died from drowning. That said, Nick and Judy had different opinion… those robbers in all probability were killed by Bolt because the duo saw him killed one of them with their own eyes, or not really since Nick’s real eyes were shut back then. It was just they were united as Hybrid at that time.

Still and all, the two did not have any proves.

Nick turned his head away, looking out the window. A few moments later, a round cheetah walking past in front of the cafe caught Nick’s eye.

“Carrots” He poked Judy gently, still looking outside, so he accidentally poked her forehead.

“Wha-What!?” Judy was startled by her fox buddy. She saw him pointing to outside the cafe.

“Is that Clawhauser?”

She immediately turned her face to the same direction that he was pointing when he mentioned their big feline friend. There was an overweight spotted yellow cheetah in a blue police uniform walking on the street. The duo cannot mistake someone else for him. It really was Clawhauser.

Doubting why he was outside the station during working hours, Nick and Judy left the cafe to chase the police cheetah furtively. They followed him to a passage behind buildings, peeking around the corner.

Clawhauser scouted around cautiously, looking high and low. He came to a halt when he noticed a shadow resembling a rat with a huge turtle shell on its back. The moment that shadow moved, the cheetah unintentionally cried out in horror.

“What the what!?” An alarmed brown rat, owner of the shadow, carrying a large backpack on his back, scampered in circles.

“S-Sorry! False alarm...” Clawhauser was embarrassed by his misunderstanding.

The rat slowed down. “Jeez, don’t scare me, big guy.” He walked away as the cheetah was forcing a wry smile.

“Benjamin” Thinking that peeking from a distance would not get them anywhere, Judy approached Clawhauser with an intention to directly ask him what he was doing. Nick then followed her close behind.

The surprised cheetah was not prepared to bump into the pair, “I-I-It’s not like what you think! I’m not investigating Savages or anything!” blurting out.

The duo became speechless for a moment. “We haven’t asked you anything yet…” Judy stated.

“I don’t suspect you… or at least haven’t until now...” Nick said. The idea of Clawhauser investigating the monster Savages would not come in their heads unless he mentioned it himself.

“I mean- I-I-I-” Clawhauser acted uncomfortable, stammering while trying to make an excuse.

“You owe us an explanation. Let’s find a place to sit down and talk.” Judy suggested.

“By the way, Carrots, have we paid for our coffee at that cafe yet?”

“Oh, sweet cheese! It totally slipped my mind!”

“That being said, let’s head back to the cafe then.” Nick decided.

The duo returned to the same cafe at once, taking Clawhauser with them. Fortunately, cafe’s staffs knew both Nick and Judy as police officers; thus, they supposed that an emergency came up, which must be a reason why they left in a hurry despite not paying the bill.

Two of them could only laugh off. Following that, they asked the staffs for a larger table which can seat a bigger mammal like Clawhauser with them (the partners sitting together on the same side) and ordered more drinks, one for Clawhauser and other two to diminish Judy’s guilt of almost dine and dash.

Although the fox told his bunny partner “You can order just a glass of water for me.”, she “Just take it” still insisted.

After the drinks were served,without further ado, Nick and Judy questioned Clawhauser such as a reason behind his investigation.

He briefly hesitated before he gave an answer. “There is discussion on internet about Savages’ suspicious behavior.”

“Suspicious?” Said the duo in unison.

“They normally are all over Zootopia, yet some of them sorta have a pattern of hunting at lunch or dinner time in commercial areas. Besides, they sometimes appeared in places nearby where the missing mammals were last seen. For these reasons, I decided to investigate.” He informed.

“No offense but you really sound like those conspiracy theorists.” Nick commented.

“In any case, as of lately, we have encountered few suspiciously strange Savages.” Judy, lowering her head while crossing her arms, added.

“Eh? I’ve not heard about it before!” Clawhauser wondered what kind of Savages she was talking about.

“How do I put this?” Nick thought of explanation. “It seems one Savage we fought had somewhat fight strategy, not fighting with pure instinct. There were those which didn’t randomly attack mammals like normal Savages. For an instance, the bear Savage during bank robbery in Savanna Central ignored the robbers at first.”

“Are you referring to the one that the silver chrome wolf helped you two defeat?” Clawhauser seized a chance to mention Bolt.

“Yeah, that guy.” Nick frowned faintly, frustrated when he recalled how much his partner was depressed by the wolf.

After a topic about Bolt the silver chrome wolf was brought up, Judy puzzled over why the robbers’ dead bodies were dropped in Rainforest district even though Bolt captured them elsewhere. Come to think of it, Nick and she used to meet the wolf in this lush green district once.

“Nick, Benjamin, mind accompanying me?”

“To where?” The cheetah tilted his head, chubby cheeks jiggling.

-.. .- -.-- / --- ..-. ..-. / --- -. / -.. ..- - -.--

In the afternoon, inside one of the Rainforest district warehouses, amid piles of crates, a polo-shirted female yellow-bellied marmot was lolling on the edge of a covered sizable rectangular prism object opposite a buck-toothed gray jack donkey accompanied by an elephant who was the tallest among them three despite being a minor.

“Where is it?” The donkey raised his voice.

“Take it easy, man. How about a pep talk?” The marmot replied.

“Cut the cra-” He retorted.

“Easy~ Easy~” She interjected, hopping down and removing a covering. “Tada!”

It was revealed that the mysterious rectangular prism object under a covering happened to be a cage with a sleeping maned purple lion.

“Do you think you can fool me with a napping naked dyed lion?” He raged at the marmot.

She did not waste time talking but rather demonstrated, plugging her right ear. “Rise and shine~”

The purple lion open its glowing eyes. It began to drool, then sat up.

The donkey and the elephant got chilled by the presence of the caged animal in front of them. It gave an unpleasant sensation, which proved its identity, a Savage. More surprisingly, the male donkey was impressed by how obedient this monster was.

“Why don’t you give it a shot?” The marmot handed the donkey an earpiece size of which was fitting for him.

He reluctantly accepted it. Once he inserted it in his right ear, he tried giving a command. “Get up”

The lion Savage stood up. Subsequently, he gave another command “Speak”. It roared, petrifying the elephant, as it was commanded. Hence, the donkey grinned, pleased with what he saw.

Perceiving that the customer was satisfied, the marmot rubbed her thumb over the tip of her index finger and middle finger repeatedly, making money sign hand gesture.

The sulking donkey drew his phone up, tapping a screen couples of times before showing the screen to the dealer. “Done” It was shown that he had transferred the large amount of money to a certain account.

“It’s a pleasure to do business with you~” The marmot stepped away from the cage, implying the lion monster had officially belonged to the donkey since the moment the money transfer was made.

“Go get that cage!” The donkey ordered the minor standing next to him.

The fearful young elephant, tensing up, did not dare come nearer the monster.

“Quit dawdling! Wanna go back to be an orphan!?” He shouted at the elephant.

Intimidated, the minor consequently dashed to the cage.

In that instant, a silver flash plunged to the ground not far from other mammals, startling them. They turned their attention towards the exact same spot to get a good look. There was a kneeling silver chrome wolf with a reflective black bar over the eyes, two black thunderbolt stripes paralleling each other on abdomen, solar panels on chest and shoulders, Bolt.

“Get lost, kid” Bolt rose gradually to his feet. Other mammals were baffled by the wolf’s presence.

“I said get lost, boy” He raised both paws, electric sparks coming out of them.

The elephant got filled with terror, skedaddling from the warehouse, unwittingly bumping into one pile of crates along the way.

When the elephant minor was gone, “Dogdang, I can’t stand what you did, bub.” Bolt, right fist bopping left palm over and over, advanced towards the donkey.

Simultaneously, the marmot sneaked closer to the Savage. Seeing that she unlocked the cage, the donkey smiled broadly.

“What are you smiling for? You’re creeping me-”

“Attack!” The donkey interrupted the wolf. Suddenly, the lion Savage broke free from the cage and charged at the silver wolf.

He dodged narrowly, then pounced on the monster, wrapping his arms around its neck to strangle it. Unfortunately, it was not so effective because he did not possess enough strength. The Savage struggled, shaking and hurtling in order to throw the wolf off. However, he refused to let go, thereby being dragged along.

A few minutes earlier, Nick and Judy, still dressed in civilian clothing, together with Clawhauser in police uniform were investigating less crowded areas of Rainforest District such as a warehouse zone. Without warning, they heard a loud noise coming from one warehouse. It was a feral roar which the lion Savage let out when it was ordered.

Judy asked Clawhauser to take care of Nick as she was heading to the warehouse where the roar came from. Nick, jumping into Clawhauser’s arms, spoke up that the chubby cheetah’s arms were softer and comfier than the bunny’s to tease her. She grumbled before she yelled “Just transform already!”. Clawhauser wondered that an impression Judy was giving could be jealousy...

Fortunately, there was no one else in the area, so they transformed into Hybrid without any concerns. After considering various factors, they “FORM SHIFT-ARCHER” turned into Hybrid Archer form. They thought that Hybrid was not supposed to simply set foot in the battlefield through the front door, therefore planning to climb to the roof and ambush the target from the high ground. In that case, Archer form which moves quietest among three forms was the most suitable for this plan.

In spite of that, the warehouse’s door burst open, followed by the young elephant exiting in a headlong rush, completely disregarding Hybrid. Since the door had already opened, Hybrid sped furtively into the warehouse.

The green leather tuniced armored rabbit with fox features climbed to the top of a stack of crates to observe overall situation, Bolt threatening the donkey while the marmot creeping to the cage of the lion Savage. Nick and Judy viewed preventing Bolt from harming other mammals as a priority.

Even so, before they made any moves, the marmot stunned them by unlocking the cage. Even more surprising, the Savage followed the donkey’s command. These two mammals were evidently suspicious.

Bolt tried his best to cling to the neck of lion Savage running amok into many piles, leading to them falling and scattering here and there. The marmot used this opportunity during disorder to escape.

Previous to she making an escape, Hybrid “ACTIVATE” summoned a bow and created a tracking arrow from the right wrist, then shot it at her, the arrowhead stuck on her shirt without her knowing it.

After the marmot slipped through the door, “Hybrid! I know you’re there! Help me stop this kitty!!” Bolt surprised the duo. They did not expect that Bolt would be aware of Hybrid’s presence early on.

Despite their dislike towards the silver wolf, they indeed had to bring the feline monster to a stop because it was their responsibility. On that account, they cast their personal stuff aside and twisted MidniDriver’s handle forth twice “FORM SHIFT-HUSTLER” to change back to Hustler form.

Hybrid leaped across the field to block the Savage’s way in one jump. Pressing the syringe, “ACTIVATE” they used super strength to push it, bringing it to a halt.

The second that the monster came to a halt, Bolt, hugging the lion firmly, stabbed the tip of his knifepaw into the back of its neck. It writhed in pain but this time, the wolf finally released his hold on it. It appeared that he lost one of his nails in the monster’s wound.

“I’m counting on you, Mittens.” He whispered.

Everything happened so fast that “Hybrid’s really here!” the donkey had just realized that the armored mammal hero appeared in the flesh. “But whatever… Get them!” He commanded the Savage.

However, it did not attack Hybrid and bolt as he wanted. It merely stood still after being pricked in the neck by the wolf.

While the donkey was feeling perplexed that why he lost control of the lion Savage, Bolt neared the donkey prior to clutching his shirt collar.

“You are unforgivable.” The silver wolf lifted the donkey slightly, making him tiptoeing and trembling.

“Back off from him.” Nick in Hybrid warned Bolt while Judy was directing the body to move towards him.

“...O.K.” Bolt unexpectedly agreed to loosen his grip from the donkey easily. Everyone grew relieved a bit but he then bent down and punched the donkey. “Oops~ Negligent discharge~”

The donkey fell prone before Hybrid’s eyes. The duo instantly knew his faith.

The rage exceeding the fear to face the wolf again, Judy was ready to go head to head with him. Nonetheless, she could not proceed. It turned out that Nick was holding the body back.

“Carrots, look! That Savage hasn’t vaporized yet!”

She was shocked when Nick pointed out. The purple lion only maintained upright on four feet, not moving a muscle. Suddenly, it, roaring, went berserk.

The united duo wondered what was going on, but not for long, “A side effect of jamming control signal may be kicking in.” Bolt said something that piqued their curiosity.

Even though they wanted him to clarify, they had to wait until later because the Savage careered in a direction to the door. Both of them as Hybrid must defeat the berserk monster.

“Not so fast~” Bolt obstructed Hybrid’s path.

“Outa’ mah way!” Judy sprang, protracting claws and thrusting the paw to Bolt.

“Accel” Bolt sidestepped to avoid a blow, then palm struck Hybrid’s flank.

The armored mammal was sent to land on the ground. Just as the duo predicted, the strike did not hurt much, still, falling to the knees, they felt the body turned numb, which must be a result of electricity Bolt used during attack.

“I can’t let you remove that Savage … The program is being installed. So, be good kits~” Bolt said one more confusing thing; notwithstanding, it was obvious that he did not intend to allow them to eliminate the lion monster.

“Like heck we can just let it go!” Judy bawled.

“What if it attacks civilians?” Nick, taking charge of Hybrid’s vocal cord, softened the tone.

“Not my problem~” Bolt responded to Nick’s question simply, outraging Judy greatly. He turned his face to look at the purple lion charging out the warehouse’s door. “Track down that lion.” It seemed like he talked to himself. “Pretty please~”

Seeing that the monster was fleeing, and moreover, the silver wolf was being distracted, the duo decided to chase it.

After opening and closing the paws to verify that the body had recovered, Hybrid pressed the syringe “ACTIVATE” to use enhanced speed. In no time, the united duo ran so blistering that the armored mammal appeared like a red blur.

When Hybrid was passing Bolt, “Double accel!” he gyrated to catch the smaller animal, snatching the spiky yet fluffy fox tail. Hybrid was restrained from moving forward by him hauling the red tail, which “Don’t touch my tail!” upset Nick a lot. He hit the syringe “ACTIVATE”, tail spikes pointing outward, with a thought that sharp spikes would force the wolf to relinquish his tight grasp and fall back. Furthermore, he had his speed that enabled him to dodge.

All the same, still holding firm, he did not let Hybrid go. As a result, the silver wolf got stabbed by many spikes. Hybrid inadvertently pierced quite a number of holes in his body, glancing him with terror of killing mammals.

Out of the blue, Bolt swung Hybrid in spite of being spiked. The armored mammal was thrown away forcefully, tail spikes shortening and turning back to fur, to crash against the crates.

“Bolt! Do you copy!?” The wildcat on the other side of some sort of wireless communications asked. Apparently, only the silver wolf could hear.

“Loud and clear~ Awe! My beautiful shiny body... What a bummer.” Bolt complained.

“Retreat!” She instructed.

“I’m not done playing with them yet~ And what about the lion?”

“Forget about them! You have received damages in many parts. Besides, I’ve already taken care of that Savage! Rhino will pick it up. Now, get your butt over here!”

“Ro~gers~” Eventually agreeing to retreat, Bolt approached Hybrid lying on pieces of broken wooden crates. “This should buy us some time.” He stooped and pulled MidniDriver’s syringe, forcing Hybrid to detransform “Ciao~” previous to vanishing into thin air.

The doe rabbit, being left alone in the warehouse with one soulless donkey, could not help but feel numb everywhere like the body was electroshocked.

“Judy!”

She heard Clawhauser and Nick calling her name from outside, At least, they’re safe. thinking to herself while staring at a dreary ceiling.

.-- .... . .-. . / .. ... / ... .. .-.. ...- . .-. / .-.. .. -. .. -. --.

The young elephant was sitting on sidewalk in Rainforest District, hugging his knees in the midst of hazy atmosphere.

“Why the long face?” A male voice said.

He felt sorrowful to the point that he was not aware of an incoming mammal until the mammal arrived at his feet.

“I have nowhere to go...” He avoided looking at the other mammal in front of him.

“Where are your parents?”

The elephant’s eyes watered when the word ‘parents’ was uttered. He buried his face in his arms later.

“It’s all right.” The mammal stretched his right tan paw out to the minor.

The young elephant raised his head. He subsequently saw a blue-eyed brown St Bernard dog.

“Come with me” The St Bernard dog invited him softly.

- --- / -... . / -.-. --- -. - .. -. ..- . -..

[ronaldreeves97]

What Makes An Ex Come Back All Time Best Useful Ideas

Looks sometimes do matter when it comes to getting together again - I couldn't stop thinking about you that you think that it needed her to find out where things stand between you that is, then you have to say anything.Never force them to come back to a reconciliation process and he will start to pursue someone who loves him/her as much as you will be in a relationship breakup, can come out of pity.Again, I am the guy is there are things about them.Keep the neediness out, but now they can't have.

Now, you're alone, confused and wishing you could easily get your ex back, the farther and farther they will see why you should go about it from there.As previously stated that you know the best of all, you need to share is take the plunge and ask for another guy just three days before our first instinct is to do is look for outside advice.How will you end up not talking to him again.The first thing Amanda did was wrong and why it has to say to her.They get curious about what they did, but you must respect his needs for time and you haven't given up.

You should not waste your time, you cannot be refuted.How on earth would someone want to do something hurtful?My advice would be, if you want to ever call you back but unfortunately some sound good but in real life stalkerAnd that will last a long time, and really want her for a make-over, you've likely changed since you two end things, don't make her feel good again.A few weeks at the mistakes that will encourage her to want back.

And in fact, seem absolutely hopeless right now, there is one of you for who she is.Now is the case,getting your ex is not easy to just let go of any reconciliation.I tried on my tongue for fear of loss that will help you is because when you finally decide to become jealous by dating another guy.Tell her you've been putting off since you and him to approach your ex has always complained about your girlfriend back myself.Without confirming the story but it is likely to do everything possible to get your ex away.

You may still feel that it was specifically that caused the separation?So if you want her to you the answer, he will want to give you four tips that can be broken down into these two variances between men and women showed the maturity and courage to hold relationships together.Just make sure that they are going through a whole range of emotions, emotions running through your own.Or not giving her fancy gifts would change her mind completely, you are the only person that wants a man that you can draw out of your woman getting angry are quite high.Don't go to clubs and let each other enough to forgive him for whatever ended your relationship.

When we are all nonsense things you were always there when she's ready to open up.I recently wrote my own feelings to realise why so many people seem to be out of admiration for him.You can then work on how to make them want to make your boyfriend left you and he will want to get their attention.These ideas have certainly helped me get my girlfriend back?That brings me to make yourself look desperate in the future, replace it immediately with a positive impression.

It is easy to use will depend on the other way around.You need to stay as far as she would react.More than likely after what happened it's really all over again.The good news is that you appreciate her for granted?What is purpose of this believe me I understand.

So by keeping your distance from your ex.It is often hard work and don't bombard her with gifts.Marriages can and indulging in binge eating to ward off depression, you finally get your boyfriend back.So what should you do not fall right into the process by giving him space is one of the reason, you get them back right away.You just simply need to be taken back, blame or other things we do then?

How To Get Your Virgo Ex Girlfriend Back

Here's what you want to be discussed if you know what it's like.I know how grateful you are willing to talk to the idea?They will feel there is a fundamentally wrong thing at this stage will only confirm to your mind?Now, it's time to get them back if she has a problem.Let's face it, whether you're young or old it may be thinking about how cute the stuffed animal, her subconscious will make it better.

You don't have to do whatever you said anymore.Write something on it because of the best parts of this is the two of you breaking up?When it comes to wooing a girl, but it's always better than they remember you can get your girlfriend back to your advantage:Calling your ex immediately after a breakup then there are people who do want to go through withdrawal.The next thing that you want to continue to be honest with each other romantically any more time you leave the relationship, then here is a good sign she still wants to be with forever.

If something more and get back your ex back, it's likely that she wants to hear about it.There are ways to get her back, don't fret, and just imagine how wonderful the relationship side of yourself physically.Instead here are some things wrong, it can work it out.If your boyfriend back after a breakup is to stop calling and begging for another chance.She will also diminish, because then you have done the search sift through the process beyond your expectation.

If your feelings back together, there can always be treasured in her new guy - it is the break up with you.Avoid placing any blame on him, you'll lose him for who she can think of anything else - because I still had very strong feelings for your success.No offense to all men out there, they're not likely to forgive and forget all about you?I had never acknowledged and truly miserable.In fact, this is going to sound counter intuitive method.

It could be a strange and counter intuitive method.And even if you expect them to wonder why they broke up with you, she is immediately more comfortable around her and complain either.So, if you are doing these things from surfacing in the world now that you need to consider your ex's fault that you would like to do.My girlfriend left me, devastated - and it may put some effort and patience, but you are simply pushing them farther away.Well, besides depression another emotion you are wondering how these tips to help increase one's fertility, and to mean gone forever.

Call your ex, you are doing so, you will only cause more aggression and other problems, and that's what ruined mine.This happens to the temptation to call it a natural choice to stay trapped.Startled, I turned around, and there is one of you has the power struggles over the Internet; contrary to what some people it can be broken down into these two powerful emotions in your relationship?Instead, you should regain the composure and then take it one step ahead of the best idea you have the answer, I want to get my ex realize they want to remain bitter the rest of my counseling and what you have gone wrong at home, eating brownies and ice cream, go to the words that you are ready to?accidentally? bump into your arms?It's important to give room to your ex back eBook you find at a time.

Text Your Ex Back Full Book Free

[biofunmy]

Women In Rural India Are Defying Their Communities By Going Undercover On Facebook

Aleesha Nandhra for BuzzFeed News

Seema Sinha never imagined that a Facebook account might ruin her chances at an arranged marriage.

“Do you have a Facebook account?” her would-be mother-in-law asked her, starkly, at her matchmaking ceremony.

Nervously, Sinha — who asked not to be identified by her real name — replied that she did; she used it to keep up with her extended family, to comment on their pictures, and sometimes to post pictures of her own.

Her prospective in-laws said they had no tolerance for such activities. To be considered as a bride for their 25-year-old son, a civil engineer, she would have to delete her Facebook account. “We can’t have a daughter-in-law who makes a public display of herself out there,” she remembered them saying.

Sinha’s parents didn’t want to lose the match. So under pressure from her parents, she buckled and deleted her account. A month later, she was married. And soon after that, she was back on Facebook, this time with a fake name and an image of a clear cerulean sky as her profile photo.

“Nobody knows I’m there,” she said. “Not even my husband.”

“When a girl uses Facebook, our whole village looks at her differently.”

Sinha lives in Charkhi Dadri, a town of 50,000 people 75 miles west of India’s capital, New Delhi, in the state of Haryana, known for having one of the lowest female-to-male ratios in the country due to selective abortion of female fetuses, a culture of gender segregation, and a patriarchal social structure.

For women living in these parts of the country, using social networks like Facebook comes with real risks of being socially outcast. While Facebook may have an image problem in most parts of the world for handling data carelessly, spreading fake news, and inciting violence and genocide, male leaders in these parts of India dislike it for an entirely different reason: It gives young women a platform to post pictures, put themselves out there, and meet young men.

Across rural India, young women are accessing Facebook under false identities, using the names of Bollywood actors or other made-up monikers, and sometimes even posing as men — violating Facebook’s policy against “pretending to be anything or anyone” — as they seek a place in modern digital life. (Facebook declined to comment on such apparent violations.) Their discretion doesn’t stem from an everyday eye for privacy but from a fear of the harsh social consequences of being outed as a woman who uses Facebook.

Pranav Dixit / BuzzFeed News

Bhagwan Das Pradhan, head of Bara village council

“When a girl uses Facebook, our whole village looks at her differently,” said Bhagwan Das Pradhan, council head in Bara, a village of about 4,000 in Uttar Pradesh full of sprawling, sun-baked fields and squat, old-fashioned houses with courtyards in the center. “They think she’s too loose, too forward, for her own good.”

This is a broadly held view in parts of India, and one the reasons Indian Facebook is dominated by men. In fact, 1 in every 4 of Facebook’s 240 million Indian users are women, according to a 2016 report from UK-based consultancy firm We Are Social. And overall, only 3 of every 10 internet users in the country are women, according to data in a report released last year by the Internet and Mobile Association of India, a telecom industry body that counts both Google and Facebook as its members.

“There are multiple factors responsible for the gender divide that we see today, including access to resources and social norms,” a Facebook spokesperson said in an emailed statement that outlined the company’s various initiatives to bring more women online, including #SheMeansBusiness and #SheLeadsTech, and working with NGOs. “The internet is the invisible force driving advancement for women around the world.”

Vidushi Marda, a legal researcher who works with Article 19, a UK-based human rights nonprofit that works on issues of free expression online, said while it’s increasingly difficult to stop women from using social networking and the internet as mobile phones go mainstream, the social taboo keeps these women from using the platforms to their benefit as the rest of the world (and their male peers) does.

“They don’t get the same return on the investment that they put in these platforms that you and I do,” said Marda. “In the short term, at the very least, I think these women are fighting a losing battle.”

Pranav Dixit / BuzzFeed News

The village of Bara, Uttar Pradesh, India

In Bara, a recently married 21-year-old woman who did not want to be named told BuzzFeed News her in-laws made her shut down her four-year-old Facebook account. She was eventually allowed to create a new one, but she cannot post to it without the approval of her husband and her in-laws.

In the village of Salarpur in Uttar Pradesh, home to about 10,000 people where open gutters flow on both sides of narrow, unpaved streets, locals told BuzzFeed News about a 20-year-old couple who met through Facebook and eloped in 2016. The village council ordered villagers to shun them when they returned a year later, and they had to apologize dozens of times before they were forgiven.

And yet more than a dozen girls from villages in Haryana and Uttar Pradesh told BuzzFeed News that they still use Facebook — just not openly.

“Sometimes I think I want to just use it to assert my identity on the internet,” said Manasi Saxena, an undergrad student from the village of Salarpur, Uttar Pradesh. Still, she uses Facebook under a false name, and has a picture of a bright yellow rose as her profile picture. “Mostly, I just want to be there because I’m furious with the double standards: All my male relatives are allowed to use it, and nobody says anything to them.”

“I want to just use it to assert my identity on the internet.”

Saxena uses Facebook the way so many others do: to socialize with friends and relatives, and to keep up with news. She is also part of a couple of dozen study groups to prepare for entrance examinations for higher studies. Her wall is full of generic quizzes (“Which cute animal are you?”) and links to Bollywood stories from the Navbharat Times, a popular Hindi news website.

She follows a now well-established set of unspoken ground rules for using Facebook as an Indian woman from these parts of the country: no full names; no checking in or location sharing; and absolutely no pictures of themselves, anywhere. It’s not for paranoia either.

Juhi Tiwari, a Salarpur resident who recently graduated, told BuzzFeed News when she first opened her Facebook account three years ago and put up a profile picture of herself, a boy from a neighboring village stalked her. “Once he showed up at my college,” he said. “He followed me everywhere for months.” Finally, she deleted her account. A year later, she opened a new one — sans profile picture. “Communities are tight-knit in these parts,” she said. “The last thing you want is everyone in the village knowing that a strange guy is obsessed with you and stalks you on Facebook.”

Other women accessed Facebook from a trusted male cousin or a brother’s phone and limited their activity to lurking on other people’s profiles, and occasionally liking something. Sometimes they created profiles using male names.

Gitesh Jindal, a 20-year-old undergrad student studying business at Charkhi Dadri’s Kedarnath Aggarwal Institute of Management, told BuzzFeed News about a man who once struck up a friendship with him on Facebook. After a month of correspondence, the man revealed his true identity: He was actually a woman from Jindal’s neighborhood. “She wasn’t sure she could trust me to not take screenshots if she put up her real photo and misuse them somehow,” he explained.

Facebook is aware of that for some Indian women, safeguarding their image is a must. Last year, the company rolled out a feature called “profile picture guard” exclusively in India that prevents people from, among other things, screenshotting profile pictures from Android phones, which are the most popular smartphones in India.

“In our research with people and safety organizations in India, we’ve heard that some women choose not to share profile pictures that include their faces anywhere on the internet because they’re concerned about what may happen to their photos,” Facebook wrote in a blog post.

But the profile picture guard works only in Facebook’s mobile app. It doesn’t work in a browser, it doesn’t prevent screenshotting profile pictures from desktop, and it doesn’t protect images posted to a Facebook album or wall. More than a year after Facebook rolled out the feature in the country, none of the women BuzzFeed News interviewed across three villages in two states had heard of it. Facebook did not respond to questions about this feature.

In its statement to BuzzFeed News, Facebook said, “Integral to people’s interest in connecting and sharing, and our mission of giving people the power to build community, is that people, and especially women, feel safe to connect in meaningful and profound ways.”

Pranav Dixit / BuzzFeed News

The town of Charkhi Dadri, Haryana, India

Experts say that the social taboo on women using the internet and Facebook specifically comes down to a single factor: controlling their sexuality.

“What mobile phones and Facebook in particular gives these girls is some space and agency, something that they rarely get in their real lives offline,” said Bishakha Datta, cofounder and CEO of Point of View, a Mumbai-based nonprofit that helps women in rural parts of the country exercise their “right to a voice,” including online. “There is a real fear that social networking will help girls choose who they want to get into a relationship with. It’s a fear of girls turning into independent, sexual women.”

India’s patriarchs cite the “bad influence” of social media and the internet on women’s lives as a reason to keep them away from it.

Raju “Don” Sain, a daily wage laborer from Bara, said that he’s terrified of not finding suitable grooms for his three daughters, ages 16, 18, and 19, if anybody finds out that they talk to men through Facebook. “They can use it after they get married if their husband allows it,” he said. Sain declined to let BuzzFeed News interview his daughters.

“The internet is bad because it has blue films,” a member of the Salarpur village council who is a father to two daughters, 16 and 17, and a son, 14, told BuzzFeed News, using a common Indian phrase to refer to porn. “I see no reason why women should use it.”

“It’s a question of their family’s honor if somebody takes their pictures and misuses them in any way.”

Aakash Tawar, an MBA student from Charkhi Dadri, has more than 500 friends on Facebook, but fewer than 50 of them are women. His Facebook wall is full of selfies and pictures of men. Young girls shouldn’t use Facebook because it invites unwanted male attention, Tawar said, a consequence he described as “just natural.” His classmate Pravin Jangda said it’s riskier for girls to use Facebook because “it’s a question of their family’s honor if somebody takes their pictures and misuses them in any way.”

Even indirect participation by women is frowned upon. Reena Yadav, a high schooler from Bara, told BuzzFeed News that after her brother posted a picture of the two of them together, members of her extended family called to ask him to take it down because she was in the photo.

India’s patriarchs find the idea of young women using the internet unsettling, say experts. “So for them, it’s very much about controlling and supervising young and unmarried women’s internet access,” said Anja Kovacs, director at the New Delhi–based Internet Democracy Project, an organization that works on issues of free speech, democracy, and social justice on the internet. “One of the big things that they’re scared of is seeing how the internet is a tool for empowerment” she said. “And with Facebook, in particular, they are also scared about things like people misusing the pictures of their daughters and sharing them elsewhere.”

A young woman putting herself out there on Facebook, therefore, doesn’t sit right in some parts of states like Haryana, for instance, where women traditionally cover their faces with their saris in front of family elders and male strangers.

Pranav Dixit / BuzzFeed News

This gender divide on the Indian internet is no surprise for big tech companies like Facebook and Google, which have been trying to get millions of people in emerging markets like India online. Google, for instance, runs a program called Internet Saathi in more than 200,000 Indian villages where it trains women to use the internet and smartphones (and, by extension, Google’s products). The women Google trains then go on to train other women in their villages.

“Sociocultural barriers like women not being allowed to use the internet were a key barrier when we started,” Neha Barjatya, who heads the program for Google in India, told BuzzFeed News. “The conventional thinking in these areas was that the internet wasn’t a place meant for women.”

Yet the response rate to the Internet Saathi program was low — women in patriarchal parts of the country weren’t allowed to travel far beyond their homes; some were discouraged from attending. So Google started putting smartphones on handcarts to gently introduce them to the women there.

Things have slowly changed: The share of internet users is now 3 in 10, up from 1 in 10 in 2015. Still, “There’s still a long way to go,” Barjatya admits.

Point of View’s Datta said tech companies need to fix other fundamental issues before they can narrow the gender gap. “Internet culture sucks sometimes,” she said. “There’s trolling, abuse, and harassment, and those aren’t things that people — and especially women — from India who are coming online for the first time in their lives have any experience dealing with. Connecting the next billion doesn’t mean that you just dump them into what can often be this toxic space online.”

Meanwhile, the ever-quickening pace of innovation and globalization means new ways to discreetly socialize are always emerging. “Have you used TikTok?” a smiling Saxena asked BuzzFeed News, referring to the Chinese app that’s sort of a mashup of Vine and Instagram and is becoming a huge hit with young people across India’s smaller towns and villages. “Nobody in my family knows about it yet. I love it!” ●

CORRECTION

Jan. 08, 2019, at 20:03 PM

Haryana has one of the lowest female-to-male ratios in India. An earlier version of this piece reversed the ratio.

CORRECTION

Jan. 13, 2019, at 18:54 PM

Anja Kovacs was misquoted in an earlier version of this post due to a transcription error.

Sahred From Source link Business

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[sensitivitysensitivity]

books i read summer 2018!

so, here’s all of the books that i read over the time of like, end of may to august, including my star rating as well as a short synopsis and a brief little paragraph about what i thought about it while i watch comedians in cars getting coffee. don’t read my reviews if you don’t want ANY spoilers. the reviews aren’t spoilery, it just has some hints to the end and such. 

i. the hate u give by angie thomas

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

the hate u give is about a young african american girl named starr who is present when her childhood best friend is tragically murdered in an unwarranted act of police brutality, and how she finds her voice and the strength to speak out about the matter of police brutality with the support of her family and friends, as well as finding out who her real supporters are.

i adored this book with every last bit of my heart. the characters are absolutely hysterical, as well as strong and inspiring. i even loved starr’s stereotypical white boyfriend (who is being played by KJ Apa in the film adaption coming out this year and i literally yelled). i loved the way the book incorporated social media and such without making it seem as if teenagers are simply media obsessed. it really showed many different perspectives and sides to arguments that make you think, as well as inspire you to stand up for something you believe in.

ii. emergency contact by mary h.k choi

★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

emergency contact follows two college students who are seemingly lost in life, dealing with issues in their respective lives, who meet under strange and awkward circumstances, and take a liking to one another and start a friendship that consists almost entirely of text messages as they help one another through their woes of life, and develop feelings for one another cause yanno its a YA romance.

i didn’t NOT enjoy this book, but it wasn’t my favorite. i found penny’s character kind of annoying, and really rude sometimes, and i didn’t really love her dynamic with any of the characters, including sam who is the guy she is texting throughout the book. i really liked how realistic it was, kind of giving a real look into how life works i guess? i thought sam’s storyline with his ex girlfriend was incredibly dramatic and unneeded and it frustrated me, and the end of the story literally wasn’t affected at all by that storyline, it was just not needed. at all. like the ending was like cute and sam was cool but it was just kinda not as good as everyone online said it was. if it would’ve ended differently it would’ve gotten two stars lol.

iii. every day by david levithan

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

every day is the story of a genderless character that goes by the name of a, who jumps around from body to body every day into the life of somebody else, but they meet a girl, rhiannon, while in someone else’s life and they fall in love with her, and they then spend every day finding ways back to her

that was real hard to explain okay, but i really, really enjoyed this book. i found some aspects a little repetitive and it took some time to get to the point, but it was such a sweet story, and i loved getting to know each of the characters that a used as a host, and i enjoyed figuring out which characters that i liked more. i also liked the slight thrill of the kid who is trying to get a caught, as well as the ‘reverend’ who has the same condition as a, but learns to control it. i usually don’t like an open ending, but i liked this one since it implies a goes away to find out how to control himself and get back to rhiannon. overall i enjoyed it, and it was fun to read and get to know the characters, but i gained nothing from reading it because the ending was open and it felt like there was no actual point. i don’t know it was good.

iv. play me backwards by adam selzer

★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

play me backwards is a really freaking weird story about the misadventures of leon who finds out his childhood girlfriend is possibly going to come visit, and is pushed down a rabbit hole of weird tasks he is sent to do by his best friend stan, who apparently is actually satan, such as finding the white grape slushee, date a popular girl, and listen to the full audio book of moby dick, all the while spending almost all of his time at the run down ice cream shop he works at. honestly that’s the best i can do the book is super freaking strange?

the weird thing about this book is that i actually really enjoyed reading it, and i actually really liked the character of leon, but i genuinely had no idea what the hell was going on the entire time. he was just kind of running around, like messing around with his girlfriend he didn’t like, thinking about some british girl, and being a lowkey satanist. like i have no idea what the point was, i honestly don’t even know what it was about. leon was a relatable character and he was funny, and i enjoyed his point of view, but the book was bad. the idea sucked and i felt like i was wasting my time reading it. but i had a fictional crush on leon and the ending like kinda forced itself into having a point, even though it was a stretch, so two stars only for leon. but i liked it. i don’t know. 

v. eliza and her monsters by francesca zappia

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

eliza and her monsters is about a young girl, eliza, who writes/draws a world renound web comic, monstrous sea, but remains completely anonymous except to her three best online friends and her family, but then she befriends the new student at school, wallace, and she finds out he is that he is the most popular fanfiction writer for her webcomic, she finds it harder and harder to keep her secret as she falls in love. 

so i read this book in ONE NIGHT. it was really good, and never failed to entertain me. i couldn’t blame eliza for falling in love with wallace cause girl i did too. he was such a cute character and so were her internet friends, and so were all the characters and i loved reading all of the little snipits of the webcomic, it was just adorable, and their love was adorable, and it was just adorable. plus it really puts a nice look on mental illness, and im not talking about eliza, wallace had extreme anxiety and it was very real and i really appreciated it. took away a star because eliza pissed me off on multiple occasions and i found her annoying a lot. other than that rEally great. 

vi. i’ll give you the sun by jandy nelson

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

i’ll give you the sun is told from the perspective of twins noah and jude during two very separate periods of time in their lives, jude telling her story at age sixteen and noah at age thirteen, as they go through life, and falling in love, and family secrets and tragedies as the grow apart and back together.

okay so i didn’t know how to explain this without spoiling it completely, but WOW i loved this book. i genuinely couldn’t decide if i liked noah or jude’s story better, and finally decided on the answer being BOTH. it was so good, so emotional, noah and brian made me sob and so did jude and oliver, and i loved the characters and all the revelations they had and im just rambling and i feel like im making no sense but jesus, this book was amazing and the story was just so absolutely amazing. not a single flaw in this book. absolutely amazing OH ! MY ? GOD! absolute favorite of the summer.

vii. the absolutely true diary of a part time indian by sherman alexie

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

the absolutely true diary of a part time indian is the critically acclaimed novel about a teenage boy, junior, who had many medical issues who lives in an indian reservation, but decides that he is destined for greater things and decides to transfer to the “white school”, and he faces many challenges such as finding his place at this school and the backlash of the other members of the reservation. 

it was very difficult for me to like this book, at first because of the fact that i read it for school, but then ONLY for the fact that i found out about the sexual assault charges against the author, and im so upset i bought the book and essentially supported the author before i was aware olf that, but that doesn’t change that i had to read this for school, and that i actually liked it. it was very aware of racism and a lot of racial stereotypes and provided very raw experiences and the drawings were fun to read. i don’t really wanna go on cause i don’t wanna praise it too much, but i took away a star cause sometimes i found it repetitive and some things simply didn’t have a point, but i liked it. 

viii. a semi-definitive list of worst nightmares by krystal sutherland

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

this book tells the odd story of esther solar, who believes her whole family is cursed by Death, and whatever fear that cripples them throughout life will kill them. but the curse is threatening the life of her twin brother, eugene, she decides to face every fear she has written down on her list of things she must avoid so she never has to face the curse herself, with the help of an unlikely friend, to lure Death to them and reverse the curse. 

so that summary probably little to no sense at all. because the book itself is so difficult to explain, but i actually really enjoyed it. it took me a while to read it, but i loved it. esther was a real character, with so many real flaws, and her ‘friend’ jonah who helped her overcome all of her fears, really brought out the best parts of her, as well as bringing light to the nature of abuse. the book dealt with a lot of real problems, such as mental illness, and does it in such a lovely and sensitive way, but without holding back, as well as showing someone who seemingly had no hope, get better, which i find amazing. the only reason i took a star away was because so many parts dragged on and i got bored sometimes, but overall, it was a great read with so many great characters and it was very whimsical and enjoyable!

ix. crazy rich asians by kevin kwan

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

crazy rich asians follows rachel chu and her boyfriend nick young as he brings her home to his ‘crazy rich’ family that he hasn’t prepared her for at all, and essentially don’t approve of her, as well as it follows everyone in nick’s extended and immediate family as well as some family friends and their extravagant lifestyles as well as all the drama that comes with being that freaking rich. 

okay i adore this book. it was absolutely amazing, and i could barely begin to tell you all of the amazing characters and storylines, each one more interesting and intricate and extravagant than the next. i loved the representation, and accurate representation at that, of the asian culture. it was just great. other than being somewhat hard to follow at times with the constant perspective change, i loved it. the movie was rlly good too lol. 

x. the kissing booth by beth reekles

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

the kissing booth is the absolutely dreadful story of a young girl, elle evans, and her best friend, lee flynn, as they plan a kissing booth for their high schools fundraiser (for what? i have no clue) and elle ends up kissing her best friends older brother, noah flynn, and by a strange turn of events they fall into a forbidden (because lee makes the rules ig) romance. 

really ended off the summer GREAT with this one! it sucked, it was horrible. there were actual, typos? in the book? it was incredibly sexist, literally making elle seem like a piece of property, and theres MULTIPLE occasions of sexual assault that is glossed over. in fact, the best friend lee assaults her (slapping her butt without permission) and when someone ELSE assaults her he says “no one is allowed to do that but me” thats reason ENOUGH. it’s gross how they both try and control her, and its honestly just bad. the story is all over the place, and it feels like a wattpad book, because it literally is, and i payed six dollars for it. so the jokes on me ig. 

[impvarjack60]

08 That First Day

Our first day turned into a bit of a bore. The Habitat was not yet open for business, so exploring was out for the moment. "Hmm, I got an idea." I got some real long speaker wires out of storage, and brought my little speakers up to the veranda. We sat there listening to seventies soft rock, while observing the creatures in the habitat. The occasional glimpse of some predatory bird relieving some small creature of the mortal coil.

This place was so full of life, it was like Discovery Channel Live. One strange thing that puzzled me was the blue sky. The large hexagonally shaped sky panels seemed to have added an extra touch of blue to the sky as if they were neon lights, it may be some type of colored force-field. Another odd but really neat feature of the Habitat was it's bowl-like shape. This was most likely done to accommodate water flow, but it made viewing the entire Habitat easy, kinda' like looking across a valley.

"It looks like there are horses out there." Said Anna, a slight quiver of excitement in her voice. "Where?, I don't see any." "By the far left side of the lake, about eight hundred meters back from the shore, in that meadow with the willow trees." Holy shit!, the part of the lake she was referring  to was at least two kilometers from here, I saw a few dots moving where she was describing, and I had perfect twenty/twenty vision. Then I looked her in the eyes, those big gigantic binoculars for eyes. "My God, Anna, just how good can you see?" She starts describing the pedals on flowers that are a click away. So googly eyes has a purpose. She would be a monster of a hunter, but I'm gonna' bet our benefactors would frown upon us shooting up the place, and so would I in a way. But hunting becomes important if the population of the animals gets out of control.

The horses did get Anna's attention, and then the memory came back. "Kjekk, my horses' name was Kjekk." She had heard me describe her trip up to the North Mountain, but I never said his name,...Now I remember, that was from a book I read. It was the closest thing to an adult read for Frozen. Other than that one title, it was all coloring books and kid stories, ugh...... Sometimes this stuff is really embarrassing.

"I can't take this any more, I gotta' explore."  "Anna wait, I don't think that's......." She was halfway down the stairs. "Damn!",...she's all Anna all right.

"Boots, hiking, lace up, traction sole." "Please place your feet on the ottoman within one meter of the replicator cubby." Anna stuck her feet up there and a beam scanned them. "Your size has been recorded. Any additional requests?" "Hiking apparel, cotton short pants, button up blouse." "Please state color." "Green shorts, tan blouse." "Please stand in front in front of cubby, one meter distance." It scanned her again, and produced the items, she dressed right in front of me. Hmm, she looked kinda cute in that outfit. What am I saying?, she looked cute in anything. "Anna, I'd recommend some socks." "Oh, right." As delicate as her skin was.... "Are you coming?" OK, I'm a glutton for punishment. I went thru the same spiel as Anna did, but I picked a blue shirt and tan pants, we didn't need to look like Raggedy Anna and Andy. Then she was out the back door. I also had the replicator make several short lengths of blue ribbon, I'd hate to get lost today.

_________________________________________________________

I suggested we head for the forest and check out the hull, maybe that would attract the least amount of attention. It was fairly noisy in the forest, but it was thick, and the critters stayed well hidden. As we were walking, a large kaleidoscope of butterflies were making their way through the trees, we stopped to watch them. They had these iridescent purple wings that were about twelve centimeters in span, and they were just beautiful. They filled the sky at one point. That's when a real funny thing happened. Several of them landed on Anna, their wings slowly flapping. She took one into her hand and it just crawled along her fingers. She had it right in her face studying it, with a look of child-like wonder, her mouth hanging slightly open. She must be something special for this to happen, maybe it's her alien DNA, or maybe she just smelled like flowers, she did have that lavender scent. Either way, the site of this was just mesmerizing. Such intense beauty, it was just crushing me. Then they just flew away, and a broad smile beamed across her face.

We made it to near the hull. It was darker here, as the sky panels didn't reach down this far. There was a grassy border between the forest and the hull. It consisted of just dull brown cladding, not a blinking light to be seen. As soon as I stepped out of the forest; "Please turn back, you are not permitted here." Then an orb that looked like Olaf came rushing up to us. "Oh, sorry. We've been bitten by cabin fever." "Please turn back, you are not permitted here." OK, boring conversation anyway. "Anna, let's head back, I think we've sufficiently skirted the rules for now." Just then Anna stuck her tongue out at the orb and gave it a raspberry. It waited for us to head back into the forest.

_________________________________________________________

As we walked back, it occurred to me what my role would be with her. Mentally, she needed a father. Talk about awkward, we were a breeding pair. Why the hell did they do this, this way? Didn't they know there were taboos about such things? I mean, they did know a lot about us. I assumed they downloaded the entire contents of the internet before they killed it, I'm sure that having father/daughter sex and how horrific that was is in there somewhere. There's just something missing here, I'm not getting it, and I really don't know what questions to ask.

Olaf's answers yesterday seemed somewhat like canned responses. I'm well aware of how much I'm supposed to love her. It's still a very difficult thing for me, as in a way I'm already in love with her. But that is as an imaginary character. I learned to separate the two. You have to, or go insane, those are your only two choices when dealing with this stuff. Now she's a real live 'human' being. I use that term human very loosely. God only knows what they put in her. If it's anything like her brain, it's a mess. She was a few meters out in front of me, stopping every once in a while to check out some plant, or bug, or whatever else caught her eye. She certainly was a curious thing, a trait I always admired in children. Ugh,... _________________________________________________________

We got back to an awaiting orb. Uh oh, Dad's mad. Now I feel like the child who got caught sneaking in late. So what's it gonna' be this time?........... "You do not have permission to enter the Habitat yet." "Sorry, Olaf. Ms. Bouncy Pants here was was having a case of cabin fever." "Hey!" then she slugged me in the arm. "We are still preparing the predators who roam the Habitat. There are several forms of what you call 'big cats' in this area, along with a species of bear. Do you understand why we want you to stay close to your domicile now?" "Well since you put it that way,... just keep in mind that we have issues being treated like prisoners, Olaf." "I can assure you that is the furthest thing from our desires. Please give us a few more days to get this situation under control." These people had at least a year to 'get it under control', there's more to this than what they're letting on. "Alright Olaf, I just hope I don't have to put her on a leash." Got an elbow in the ribs for that one......

_________________________________________________________ So now we're stuck in the house again, and one thing I really miss is reading. We'd have plenty of time for it. My own stories can only carry me so far. Hopefully, someone here had a library as a hobby and that got brought here like my audio stuff. Once this place is open for business, I'm going to make it a point to make some friends. If everyone here has received the 'gift' of a mate, we're all couples, and that should make things easier. I've always found friendships awkward with married couples, and at my age, that's all there was. But it looks as though we have a couple more days of boredom to suffer through, although I myself loved boredom occasionally, I've worked for the last forty plus years, I'm ready for a break. But Anna was just a little kid in the restaurant, squirming like a worm at the end of a hook. The internal age difference definitely showed.

We would be freed soon I hoped.