#sometimes love is inventing new words to describe your pets

[angelyuji]

ford pines dating headcanons

18+!!! minors dni!!

cw // sexual content under the cut

cutie patootie

FIT AS FUCKKKKK

writes about you in his journal like first time he sees you, first date, every single thought about you? journaled!!

he wanted to ask you out but he was sooo nervous you would reject him, especially considering how young and pretty you are

he was scared you would laugh at him for trying

so he didn’t try :(

so when you showed up at the mystery shack and asked him out to dinner, he would’ve jumped for joy

“you-you’re asking me? on a date?” ford stares at you, mouth open. you tilt your head in confusion and ford almost melts. he clears his throat, “i-i would love to, (y/n). thank you.” ford blushes.

your first date was cute, he was so flustered and so nervous

i feel like he calls you by your name, sometimes by your last name, sometimes like ms/mr. last name. idk he’s silly like that

HE loves pet names tho, he lovessss pet names

when you call him love, baby, sweetheart, anythingggg he loves it

he especially loves when you call him sir like in any context

idk he’s silly like that :)

literally the sweetest man in the world

constantly thinking about you and talking about you

constantly creating new things/inventions for you

he would start writing up the mock-up of a project or an experiment and start thinking about you and then end up making something he thinks you’d like

sooo down bad for u dude, would give you the world if you asked

i feel like bill would find his love for you either fascinating or be so insanely jealous that you’ve got ford wrapped around your finger like that’s his man

imo the only solution is a threesome

WHAATTT WHO SAID THAT…. some of these artists draw bill so fine that i cant help it

he loves when you’re passionate about something! it doesn’t have to be mysteries and monsters, but just something that makes you yap (but he also loves when you listen to him talk, he’s more of a talker than a listener but he will listen to you)

yk that scene in those cliché romcoms… idk how to describe it so ill just put it into dialogue

‘gorgeous’ ford hums as you talk, the way your lips move, your expressions, everything hypnotizes him. ‘gorgeous’ he can’t help, but be enamored with you. you’re smart, kind, and passionate. “gorgeous” you stop and look at him.

“thank you?” you tilt your head at his words and his eyes went wide. he sputters as you laugh.

can have moments of smooth talk and flirting but the moment you reciprocate, he’s red in the face and stuttering

need him carnally, need him ways that even god will not allow me into heaven

switch!!!

he can do both i fear

he’s okay with you on top or him, definitely depends on his mood

like i said, FIT AS FUCK, whatever he’s been doing in that portal has treated him well

not insecure about his body more insecure about his lack of experience

he never talks about it about the stuff from before

he did a lot of research in positions, toys, and stuff like that

you had to tell him to calm down and take it slow

he’s more into giving pleasure than receiving

he wants you to feel good more than he wants to feel good

if you feel good, he feels good ykwim?

hes sooo pathetic tbh like begging, pleading, to eat you out like he wants it so bad

his glasses would fog up as you guys make out and he whips them off like sung-hoon does in business proposal

honestly that entire scene in business proposal?? ford.

hgnhhghghgngngnhgn i need him i feel ill

[petergabrielyuri]

do you ever get so overcome with how much you love your pets? like fuck man i'd do anything for these stinky lil guys i want more than anything for them to be safe and happy

[meteor752]

Dsmp Hogwarts AU, except it’s all the characters and I go into why they are what they are, please reblog this took a long ass time

Man, what a title Huh? Anyways, this will obviously go over the characters and not the content creators, because in some cases those are vastly different

Also, before we start, I will go over an important thing that I will mention probably a few times, and that is the difference between Hufflepuff Loyalty and Slytherin Loyalty.

Both of these houses value loyalty, but in very different ways. Take for example that you’re a spy who has their best friend as their partner, and you’re out on some super important mission. Let’s also say that your partner got shot and is close to death, and the only way to save them would be to abandon the mission entirely.

A Hufflepuff would try to complete the mission because it would be the best for all, while the Slytherin would abandon the mission despite the fact that it could result in countless deaths, just to save their friend.

See it as Selfish Loyalty vs Selfless loyalty. Both are great things to have, but are still different.

Anyways, on with the show

Tomathy Danger Kraken Careful Innit

I have seen people try to argue that this boy is a Hufflepuff because of his loyalty and such, but gosh darnit everyone this child is a god damn Gryffindor. I mean, one of his main character traits is that he’s brash and too brave for his own good. The reason he got fucking exiled is because he burned down George’s house without thinking of the consequences, and then just screamed at Dream without thinking of the consequences. The same goes for Ghostbur’s “death”, it was because he had no real plan except Stab Dream with an axe. So yeah, Gryffindor

Wilbur Soot

Slytherin, 100%. This man has created one and a half nation, one entirely out of spite, he was both a general and a president, he’s a smart lil fella, and he managed to hold his own against the god of the server. I don’t even thing you guys wanna argue with me here

Tuberculosis Underscore

This one is tricky, because it’s really between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw for me. Like, he does possess the Hufflepuff loyalty™ plus he is very kind, but he’s also one of the more logical and observant characters we have in this server (The bar is very low let me tell ya). But I think I will have to go with Ravenclaw, just because like, the boy invented nukes. He built fucking nukes. So yeah, a very chaotic Ravenclaw that will spout bee facts at you, be prepared

Technoblade

My man is a Ravenclaw, no doubt about it. I mean, he started talking about an old greek myth in the middle of a war? Just Ravenclaw things amiright?

Philza Minecraft

I will have to go with Slytherin on this one, simply because of the large amount of Slytherin Loyalty, but also because of his cunningness and resourcefulness, but for real this was very tricky, simply because I don’t like to think about c!Phil too much because as some of you may know, I kinda hate him (Not the cc though, obvs, he’s awesome)

Ranboo My Beloved

Hufflepuff. This boy’s ideology is literally “Choose people, not sides”, he’s an honest and compassionate boy who works hard, and has a very open mind. He’s literally the by the book Hufflepuff

Eret

Honestly, Slytherin. I mean, they are ambitious as fuck, both shown by them betraying L’Manburg for the throne, but also by working hard towards their redemption arc. They are also a good leader of the smp, and in general a great role model to have

Nikki Nihachu

This one is actually difficult, simply because Nikki has gone through quite the character arc the past couple of months. She started out kind, sweet and loyal, a classic Hufflepuff. Then she joined the syndicate and straight up tried to kill a child, which is less Hufflepuff but who am I to judge. But in her core, as seen through her discussion with Jack about Tommy’s revival, she is still a good person that works hard for what she believes in, wants the best for everyone (Despite sometimes working in her best self interest) remains kind through it all. So yeah, Nikki is a Hufflepuff, just a bit of a sadistic one. But we can’t all be perfect ya know?

Fun Jonathan Michael Vincent Georgina James Sus Dy Soot

Ah, my favorite character, and also one of the best examples of a Ravenclaw. And I ain’t saying that just cuz I’m a Ravenclaw, Fundy is one of the most Ravenclaw characters out there. He’s creative, Clever, Spontaneous, Witty, Curious, Sharp, and a real trickster. The idea of Ravenclaws being the goody two shoes kids that always does their school work is just false, we never do our Homework and instead sit and read about things we find interesting, and Fundy is a good example of that. Also he was quite the eager learner during the Dreamon Hunters arc, which again is a good example of a Ravenclaw. So if Ranboo is the by the book Hufflepuff, then Fundy is the by the book Ravenclaw.

Dreamwastaken

I’m pretty sure it’s confirmed that Dream is actually a Slytherin, and I ain’t arguing with that. This boy is cunning, sly, a leader, traditional, Self-Preserving, and a master with words. There is not much more to say here, apart from the fact that Slytherins main colour is literally green, so it all checks out, this boy is a snake.

George Lore

Mr not found over here really is hard to pinpoint down, simply because his main character trait is his apathy, which isn’t really a trait for any of the houses. I was discussing this one with my girlfriend, and both of us were pretty clueless of what to do with him. I was thinking if Hufflepuff since they take the ones that don’t fit anywhere else, but then I was reminded of the most recent Dream XD stream, which showed us one thing, and that is that George is clever, observant, and Sharp Minded, all the traits of a Ravenclaw. Sure, he could also be Slytherin as he was both cunning and sly as well, but I think Ravenclaw fits him more personally.

Sappitus Nappitus Boyhalo

Finally we have another Gryffindor, there’s been a serious lack of them on the list. My man is a fighter, he’s bold, he’s brave, he’s passionate, he’s confident, and he doesn’t really think that much of the consequences of his actions (Cough the pet war cough), so yeah this boy a lion.

Punz

Ah, Punzie, the mercenary themself. Tbh, I know very little about them because Punz don’t get involved that much in lore unless they are hired for something. I mean, they were in the eggpire, but even then they were barely involved, which is sad cuz I like Punz. But what we have seen of Punz is that they are someone who does not care about you or what you want, as long as you pay them. They are power hungry and self preserving, which means that I have to put them in Slytherin.

Jack Thunder1408 TV Manifold

The boy who I can’t help but be sympathetic towards. Jack is also a hard character to pin point because of the reason that he’s gone through quite the development. Jackie boy is a very broken character that has literally been through hell, so it’s hard to properly sort him. He’s quite confident and clever, yet cunning and resourceful, so for me it’s either Slytherin or Gryffindor. But I do lean towards Gryffindor more, partly because of his stubbornness and gullibility, and part because of all the fire imagery that’s associated with him. I mean, the cc described him as burning inside, he’s been through the scape of fire and death, and he burnt his nation to the ground. In case you didn’t know, Fire is the element of Gryffindor, so yeah, another red and gold boy.

JSchlatt

Schlatt is as both charming, charismatic and calm in the early days, using subtle manipulation tactics to get his way and achieve ultimate power. He’s ambitious, narcissistic, cunning, and tyrannical, while still hiding it all behind a facade of smiles and waves. He could also be both cruel and irresponsible at times, aka the time he had an underage child drink during an event, but ya know, mistakes. So all in all, I think it’s pretty clear that he’s a Snakey boy.

QuackityHQ

As much as I love CC!Quackity, I also fucking hate him because of the many, many different directions he’s taken this character which makes it possible for him to fit in literally any of the houses. The duckie is both Chaotic and lawful, he’s both friendly and hostile, he’s a smart cookie and a fucking dumbass, so like bruh. But, I’m gonna have to go with how he is now, which is manipulative, power hungry, cruel, and strong willed. Aka, another Slytherin.

Karl Jacobs

Finally, a character that is not broken down to the point of barely making out a readable personality. Karl is a kind and funny person, who is very open to new people considering how often he gives tours to visitors and new people, and he is quite literally loosing himself traveling through time in an attempt to help people. Hufflepuff

Awesamdude

This one I know will be controversial, but I’m saying Hufflepuff on him. Sam is one of the best cases of the Hufflepuff loyalty, literally letting both Tommy and Ghostbur be stuck and ultimately die in the prison just so he wouldn’t risk Dream breaking out. Before that point he was very kind and gentle towards Tommy, literally building a robot to keep him safe and take care of him. Sam nook is a reflection of Sam’s feelings towards Tommy, and they are kind and gentle.

Dropsbyponk

Ughhhh, another tough one. Ponk is a chaotic being who is mostly neutral in conflicts, but is shown to be very open about their feelings towards those they care about, like Sam or Foolish. They seem to be have strong feelings in what they believe in, and can be a bit brash sometimes, not really caring about the consequences of their actions, which is what makes me say Gryffindor for them.

Badboyhalo

Our favorite muffin demon. I assume, I don’t know what life you live. Anyways, Bad is like the stereotypical Hufflepuff. The kindhearted, well meaning, sweet, responsible Hufflepuff. The Hufflepuff that’s like in all of those incorrect quotes blogs and “Slytherin and Hufflepuff friendships uwu” posts. But for real, Bad is very Hufflepuff. He does however have Slytherin Loyalty, considering he pretty much sacrificed the entire server for Skeppy, but if you would try to convince me that Bad is a Slytherin I will just laugh at you

Skeppy

It was at this point I realized what I’ve gotten myself into with this post, which you know, not fun. Skeppy is both cocky and filled with energy, with a real ambition to cause chaos. He’s also shown to be willing to sacrifice himself for the person he loves, Bad, when he gave himself up to the egg. I’ve seen some people say Slytherin, but I’m kinda getting Gryffindor from the lad, so yeah, another lion.

Antfrost

Frosty here is a kind hearted person that for the most part seem to be along for the ride. He reminds me a bit of a parent of toddlers, with his patience and serenity towards the more chaotic people on the server, so of course my natural instinct is Hufflepuff. Buuuuut, then there’s again the issue with the egg and the Slytherin loyalty, this time towards his boyfriend Velvet who he was willing to join a cult for (relationship goals) but again, you can’t really say Ant is a Slytherin considering how wrecked he was about what he did while in the eggpire when he was released from it’s grasp. So yeah, Puffle boy

Captain Puffy

Oh captain my captain, you are such a Gryffindor. And some of you may disagree on that, stating that she’s a Hufflepuff or something (I did research before this to check what other people think, I know) but naaah, she a lion. Puffy is very motherly and protective towards other people on the server, especially the minors, but in the way that a Bear is protective towards its cub, which is gentle towards them but fierce towards others. Puffy also falls natural in the role of a leader as seen with Pro-Omelette, but that is kinda expected since she’s a past Pirate Captain. But she wasn’t the leader she was supposed to be, as she waited quite a while to act against the eggpire out of fear of hurting her friends, which lead to quite the damage towards the rest of the server. She’s also been shown to act on impulse, killing Antfrost and taking one of his lives after he killed her son. Idk if this is a good explanation of why I believe Puffy to be a Gryffindor, it sounds more like I’m claiming her to be a Slytherin or Hufflepuff, but she is a Gryffindor I promise!

Foolish Gamers

Foolish is a kind and friendly being, if not a bit naive and easily distracted. He’s also not the brightest person, in fact I’d go as far as to call the guy a Himbo, and he can be a bit skittish sometimes if he’s stressed or haven’t taken a break in a while. But despite it all, the guy is someone who’s creative and hard working, with a brilliant mind for his building. The man is an artist who can get grumpy if you suppress his creative aura, and put his heart and soul into his works. He also has a habit of getting wrapped up in big projects, and ignoring sleep or personal care until he’s finished them. This all leads me to say that Mr Gamers is a Ravenclaw, just not the smartest one. But hey, we can’t all be geniuses, can we.

Slimecicle

Slime is very naive and very trusting towards people around him, taking every word they say as a fact. He can also be a bit dark and ominous at times, but quickly shakes it off as nothing important. This all makes him quite childish, which is very hard to sort, so I’m gonna say Hufflepuff for his friendliness and move on.

Purpled Bedwars

I actually started loving this guy the minute I saw him, purely because Purple is my favorite colour, like my man has taste. Purpled, like Punz, is a guy who helps whoever pays him the most. He’s not interested in most things on the server, too busy looking out for number one (And Dogchamp of course). He’s very self reliant and resourceful, but still quite passive. He may not be the most ambitious guy, but Purpled is definitely a Slytherin (It also brings me and my girlfriend Serotonin knowing that the mercenary siblings are both in the same house, we love those two)

Hannahxxrose

I don’t watch Hannah that much, but god I love her voice, it makes my lesbian little heart happy. Hannah is a friendly person who is very naive about the conflicts on the server, thinking it all can can be solved by placing a rose (God I wish). She’s a good decorator and a good hearted person, who unfortunately fell victim to the egg’s influence. I’m going with Hufflepuff on her, but I’m honestly not entirely sure as I don’t know that much about her.

HBomb94

H is a very well meaning person that only really wants people to be friendly towards each other. He had a strict moral code and he keeps to it, as shown where Fundy tried to get his help with blowing shit up. He’s very helpful to those who ask and is willing to back up his friends when it’s needed, which makes me say that the friendly totally not dirty cat maid is a Hufflepuff.

Connoreatspants

I just want you all to know that I’m writing this before Connor’s lore stream that surely will just go against everything I say because fate hates me, just so ya know. Connor is not a person that does stuff on the server with lore and he for the most part keeps to himself, so this is a bit hard. Connor also has this thing where he likes to say things just to confuse him, and also making a bit of cursed lore, but he’s still a fairly humble person. He does lie and steal a bit, and has this habit of moving into other people’s houses, but I digress. I’m actually leaning towards Ravenclaw on him, for some reason, so that’s what I’m going with until I have more of an established character.

ItsAlyssa

I know she has left the server and stuff, but she was one of the original members so it would be a crime not to include her. Alyssa is a bit chaotic, often going on killing sprees, or burning down the trees outside of L’Manburg. So I’m placing Alyssa in Gryffindor, but to be honest I don’t really know at this point.

Callahan

How do you sort a person who does not speak, stream, or show like anything of his personality? The answer is, you don’t. Hufflepuff is the house of those who don’t fit in anywhere else, and that’s where I’m placing him.

Vikkstar123

Please log onto the server I’m begging you, I didn’t watch you as a kid and honestly know nothing about you. From what I’ve seen of Vik he’s a very humble person that tries to stay out of it all, instead forming a land together with his bro Lazar. Honestly my instincts say Ravenclaw and I trust my instincts, so I’m putting him in Ravenclaw

Lazarbeam

Lazar was actually a big part of the exile arc which I realized after already have written his, so now I gotta rewrite it. Lazar is fairly ambitious on the server, and has the goal to obtain the most powerful objects on the server just to rival the other strong members of the smp. He’s especially against Tommy, and aims to do a lot to be the opposite of him, aka well respected and not a war criminal that got exiled (Totally fair goal). Despite that, he was able to show some empathy to the British child, even going as far as to give him a disk during his exile. This all makes me say Slytherin on him.

Michaelmcchill

Newest boy. Michael is a very apathetic person, showing little to no empathy towards most people’s trauma on the server. The person he does feel empathy for however is Dream, who of course did nothing wrong and is locked up in the prison which is just horrible oh no. Michael just truly does not care about what you’ve been through (as of now) which is why I’m gonna say Slytherin, because he does have Slytherin loyalty towards Mr Was Taken.

TL;DR

Tommy-Lion

Wilbur-Snake

Tubbo-Eagle

Techno-Eagle

Philza-Snake

Ranboo-Badger

Eret-Snake

Nikki-Badger

Fundy-Eagle

Dream-Snake

George-Eagle

Sapnap-Lion

Punz-Snake

Jack-Lion

Schlatt-Snake

Quackity-Snake

Karl-Badger

Sam-Badger

Ponk-Lion

Bad-Badger

Skeppy-Lion

Antfrost-Badger

Puffy-Lion

Foolish-Eagle

Slime-Badger

Purpled-Snake

Hannah-Badger

HBomb-Badger

Connor-Eagle

Alyssa-Lion

Callahan-Badger

Vik-Eagle

Lazar-Snake

Michael-Snake

So all together we have Seven lions, Ten Snakes, Seven Eagles and Ten Badgers. I think that’s fair tbh

[cacoetheswriting]

fluff alphabet - valerio montesinos

A = Attractive (what do they find attractive about the other?)

His smile. When Valerio smiles, it effortlessly brights up each and every room he walks into. You especially love the little dimple in his cheek that appears as he smirks.

Valerio on the other hand adores your eyes. Their size, their colour, the way they glisten in the sunlight. He could look into your eyes for hours on end.    

B = Baby (do they want a family? why/why not?)

Possibly some time in the future. He's not ready just yet, although you know given everything he’s been through with his own family he would make a great and always present dad. 

C = Cuddle (how do they cuddle?)

He’s usually the big spoon. Arms wrapped tightly around you. His chest pressed up against your back, his lips at your ear. Sometimes, although if you told anyone he’d deny it, Valerio likes to be the little spoon. 

D = Dates (what are dates with them like?)

If you had to use one word to describe your dates with Valerio it would be ‘spontaneous’. He is one of the most adventurous people you have ever met, not scared of anything. The two of you could be going out for a simple meal and end up on a rooftop of some abandoned building stargazing. 

E = Everything (“you are my ____” (e.g my life, my world…))

“You’re my best friend.” Valerio said with a grin. “I thought we were something more.” You teased, fingers tangled in his hair. “Amongst other things.” Valerio replied pressing his lips against yours.

F = Feelings (when did they know they were falling in love?)

Valerio knew the day you first introduced him to your family. If he was important enough to meet the people closest to you, than he knew you guys had something special. 

G = Gentle (are they gentle? If so, how?)

He is one of the most gentle people you have ever been with. He is a big fan of PDA, always holding your hand or wrapping his arm around you and kissing you on the cheek. He likes to make sure you’re okay, comfortable, and makes a habit of lending you his jacket whenever you’re out on dates or with friends.

H = Hand/Hold (how do they like to hold? how do they like to hold hands?)

Being a big fan of public displays of affection, Valerio certainly loves to hold your hand every chance he got. Fingers tightly intertwined with yours. His thumb caressing circles into your wrist. 

I = Impression (first impression/s)

You found him intimidating. Valerio is extremely confident, one could even say nothing scares him. He’s charming, a tease, seemingly unfazed, and always positive. Upon your first meeting he flirted with you straight away - not afraid of being shot down.

J = Joker (are they into pulling pranks?)

Definitely. He loves to laugh, especially with you. 

K = Kisses (how do they kiss?)

Passionately. With a sort of urge, as if every kiss was the last one. His breath is always minty fresh. His hands holding your face, pulling you in as close as he possibly can. His fingertips tangling in your hair. You can feel his racing heartbeat against your chest every time his lips are pressed against yours. 

L = Love (who says I love you first?)

You do. Completely lost in the moment, laughing uncontrollably at a joke Valerio just said. The words slipped off your tongue with such ease that you knew it was right - especially since he replied almost as soon as you said them.  

M = Memory (their favourite moment together)

Possibly your first trip together as a couple - a weekend getaway. From site seeing to eating out at various restaurant, relaxing at the hotel spa and going out for drinks in the evening. It was a magical trip that you will certainly cherish forever.

N = Nickel (do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?)

Valerio doesn’t spoil you with material things because you’ve made it clear pretty early on that you don’t need expensive gifts - although flowers are an exception. 

O = Orange (what colour reminds them of their other half?)

Lavender - the colour that symbolises grace and elegance. Those two words are exactly how Valerio would describe you if anyone were to ask. Additionally, lavender is the scent of your shampoo which he can smell every single time you hug or kiss or lay in bed together. 

P = Pet names (what pet names do they use?)

Most often, apart from “baby”, Valerio calls you “princess”. What started as an inside joke ended up being your favourite endearment which is why you began to call him “prince”.

Q = Questions (what are the questions they’re always asking?)

Valerio would often find himself watching you inventively and asking himself, how the hell did he get so lucky? The two of you were complete opposites, plus Valerio didn't exactly have the cleanest dating record. Yet despite your differences and his past you fell in love with him so he couldn't help but wonder; “How am I so lucky?”.

R = Rainy Day (what do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Swim. As odd as that may sound, swimming in the rain has become your favourite activity to do together. Water drops silently falling from the sky, hitting the tiled pavement surrounding the pool. There is something you both find soothing about the sound. As if the world around you was completely still. 

S = Sad (how do they cheer themselves/each other up)

Whenever he’s feeling down, Valerio likes to listen to you ramble. He adores the way you tell stories; adding random facts, using wild hand gestures, and lastly completely going around the point you were trying to make in the first place. It never fails to make him smile. 

T = Talking (what do they love to talk about?)

He likes to tease you a lot. He likes to tell you how you’ve changed his life. He likes to talk about the future, especially one that involves you. He likes to talk about travelling, cars, his new favourite songs - the list goes on. But most importantly he likes to listen to you talk. He’s a great listener.

U = Unencumbered (what helps them relax?)

If he is ever on edge, Valerio will pick you up in his car and the two of you will drive around for hours on end. Wind in your hair. Music blaring through the speakers, you singing along at the top of your lungs.

V = Vaunt (what do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

As confident and cocky as Valerio can be, he’s not one to show off or brag about anything. Although he is quite proud of fixing up his grades thanks to you.  

W = Wedding (when, how, where do they propose?)

There is no denying the thought had crossed your mind, his too on more than one occasion, but you are too young to think about marriage right now. Maybe in a few years time, right now you’re just enjoying every moment with him. 

X = Xylophone (what’s their song?)

Azul by J. Balvin. It was the song playing at one of the first parties you went to before you officially became a couple. It was the song playing while the two of you were dirty dancing at said party. It was the song playing you shared your first drunken kiss. 

Y = You’re the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

“You’re the rhythm to my blues.” Valerio exclaimed with a grin. “That’s really corny.” You blurted out as laughter escaped your lips. “What? You don’t think it’s romantic?” The curly haired teen teased. “Romantically corny.” You responded. “I’ll take it.”

Z = Zebra (if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?)

For Valerio’s birthday, you got him a turtle. He named it Lavender. 

--

Requested By: @scentedhoagiedeputyweasel​

[missnoirr]

I want the low down on your Tasmanian beef

Maybe you sent this and thought I’d go “haha they suck babe.” Maybe you don't know me very well. Maybe I wrote an essay length dissertation on why I hate them. That's how it goes sometimes, babe!

Australia is the land of “sunburnt country,” “it’s beauty rich and rare,” where you can find “a home among the gumtrees” as it is, after all “a place that I adore.” However, Tasmania was most famously described as a land of “dregs, bogans and third-generation morons” by Leo Schofield - and you can take his word for it, because Schofield lived in Tasmania for a decade.

You may think “Tiana, if he lived there for ten years surely he actually liked it” Nope! When asked what it was like to live there and Schofield said “I think I came very close to either a nervous breakdown or suicide.”

That’s right, Tasmania = so shit it literally almost killed a man

Of course, its understandable why its so fucking shit! While the rest of Australia moved on from the whole “sending convicts to die” thing pretty quickly and instead saw the growth of towns like Melbourne (sexy bitch) and Sydney (boo we hate your pussy), Tasmania was established later (1803 compared to 1788) and just never fucking developed. Other cities banned penal transportation in the mid 1800s but Tazzie just... didn't. Which means that 40% of ALL convicts sent to Australia were - you guessed it - sent to Tasmania.

Please remember that Tazzie is the SMALLEST state in Australia by a long fucking shot. The only thing that comes close to how small Tasmania is would be the ACT, which is not a state (it’s a territory we’re real weird about the difference it’s a whole thing) and was literally only invented because Sydney (bitch) and Melbourne (bitch <3) almost started a civil war over who got to be the capital of Australia. 40% is an absolutely insane number for it to be.

Penal transportation wasn’t abolished until 1853 and even then it was almost entirely due to Victorians complaining about reoffenders from Tazzie coming in and drinking their espresso martinis.

Tasmania is also widely mocked for being inbred bigots.

Where did this joke come from? Maybe from a story of Tasmanian soldiers requesting two pillows for their bunks instead of one during WW1. Possibly because of a lack of iodine in Tazzie in the 1800s which led to goitre - which induced large mumps like deformities on the neck and sprouted jokes about “the two headed Tasmanian’s,” which are pretty funny actually. Maybe just because the gene pool in Tasmania is weirdly small - 60% of Tasmanians can trace their roots back to the first 10,000 families to live in Tazzie.

And the bigotry thing? Tazzie refused to decriminalise homosexuality up until 1997, making it the last Australian jurisdiction to do so. The impetus for decriminalisation? The United Nations told them they had to. and the High Court basically said “bro you’ve gotta.” All of which came after the world's news media quite literally referred to them as “bigots island,” which was also my pet name for them! Love that.

They had the highest rate of imprisonment for gay sex for 100 years (one has to imagine that it at least somewhat backfired on them) and were the last British colony to repeal the death penalty for sodomy.

In the 80s Tasmania’s premier stated on the record that homosexuals were “unwelcome” (no one wants to come to your shitty island anyway, Robin) and in the 90s a local politician said they should be “tracked down and wiped out "which they achieved by having the police tag number plates seen at gay events and arresting 120 people at a gay market.

(I’m not a total asshole so I will give them the credit that the criminal records of those who were arrested for homosexuality have been expunged and something like 60% of Tasmanians voted in favour of gay marriage during the 2017 plebiscite. Fair game, full credit. Go fuck yourselves tho)

also: its cold as shit. they killed all the tigers but not the tasmanian devils which, yes, are real and yes, are awful. when i was two my mum accidentally pushed dropped me in the ocean in tasmania. my least favourite uncle lives there. the spirit of tasmania is just a boat. like its literally just a boat. grow up. it isn't even attached. what, are we gonna claim new zealand next? no. throw them back to the sea and let them fend for themselves. my brother split his head open on a pier in tasmania when he was a kid and we didn't get to have ice cream bc they took him to the hospital. did i mention that its cold. like its really cold.

And to close, my favourite quote of all time

“I sensed that here was a society haunted by ghosts from the past... I sensed then some contradiction between that gaiety in the very air, and some darkness in men’s minds.” - Manning Clark on Tasmania

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #317

i’m tired as a motherfucker and don’t feel like thinking up some lyrics, so here, jus have the survey.

Have you volunteered in the past 6 months? No. French fries or onion rings? French fries. I don't like onion rings. Do you suffer from anxiety? Very badly. Favorite healthy snack? "Apples and peanut butter are one of them." <<<< Same, actually. Good shit. Favorite Disney movie? Forever and always The Lion King. If you see a bee in your house.. are you going to kill it? I hate to say it, but I'm killing it. Do you normally take a shower in the morning or at night? Morning. Do you have a cat? Yeah. What is your favorite animal? It will always be meerkats. Always. Do you know what time you were born? 10:30 AM, I believe. Do you like McDonalds? I'm gonna be real: I've never understood the McDonald's hate. I enjoy it perfectly fine. I mean it's certainly not gourmet, but I'll choose it over other fast food places sometimes. It's cheap and decent food, imo. What's your favorite flower? Orchids. Have you thought about joining the military? FUCK no. Who is the person that has impacted your life the most? Given my PTSD, I think it's pretty obviously Jason. Have you ever had a pet fish? Yeah, but not a lot. I never enjoyed them much. Have you ever wanted to be on a game show? Not seriously, no. I wouldn't want to be on television. Have you ever vaped? Nah. Who was the last person to give you a hug? Either my niece or nephew. Have you ever been on TV? I don't think so, no. What's your favorite store in the mall? Hot Topic, ugggghhhhh take me there. Has anyone ever told you that you have an accent? Yeah, especially when I was younger when I definitely did have a clear Southern accent. Do you have any piercings? Yeah, six. I have been DYING for a new one lately... How did your parents meet? Work. What was your first word? "Dada." Do you eat more healthy food or junk food? Somewhere in the middle, I'd say. What do you spend too much money on? When it's my own money, tattoos. I think I'll be perfectly capable of doing it, but when I'm employed, I'm going to have to watch how much I invest into those. What is a disturbing episode of an otherwise non-disturbing show? What is a disturbing show (or one you would describe as one) is enjoyable to you? Meeeh I don't watch enough for this. What is the most memorable song in a movie? How about a show? Oh wow, I dunno. "Circle of Life" from TLK is a beauty, as is "Strangers Like Me" from Tarzan. There really are a lot. As for shows, "Carry On My Wayward Son" from Supernatural will immediately get fans screaming the lyrics, haha. However, I don't know if that song properly counts since it wasn't written just for the show, but whatever. What is something you’re grateful for that humans have made/have continued to make exist? What about something that you wish that humans didn’t destroy? The Internet, whew. I wish humans would stop destroying the fucking environment. It's heartbreaking how many woods are wiped away here for construction, only to never be built on... While evil men are commonly talked about, what woman would you consider the most evil? I don't know, but it would probably be a rapist or pedophile. Those are probably the people I abhor most. Do you believe children can be evil? If so, what child from history do you believe to have been the most evil? I don't really think children are born evil, no. I've never heard of a diabolical baby or anything. I think the environment they are raised in molds them as they age. I don't know about the last question. Name one way that music can be bad for humans. It can be depressing sometimes, actually dragging your mood down, especially if you already feel low. What has been one of the most blatant advertising in a movie, show, or music video? Some of these questions are hard man, idfk lol. What book have you read/listened to that “messed you up” (or made you have a lot of negative feelings afterward)? Johnny Got His Gun left me feeling so spiteful towards and disappointed in the world. It definitely made me feel down for a while. If you have a pet, what is the best thing that you have for them (either a toy, a highly rated food, etc)? If you don’t have one but would like one, have you thought about what you would get your pet? We definitely don't have the money for "high quality" stuff. What works, works. Did you ever know anyone who was (previously) a part of a cult? What cult? Were you ever a part of one? No. What is something that is legal right now that really shouldn’t be? I'm stealing the previous person's answer by saying fireworks. They have a horrible effect on animals and PTSD victims and is just litter and a fire hazard. What is a movie you consider successful/good that did not have high reviews? I'm not educated enough on movie rankings. When you met the person you now like, what happened? We hugged and cried a bit lmao. Did you realize anything today? No. What do you want to do today? It'd be nice to get off my ass and get Emerson's birthday pictures into Lightroom so Ashley can finally have them... Can you honestly say you’d risk your life for someone else? I know with certainty I would for some people. Could you forgive a boyfriend or friend who physically hurt you? Ha, nope, byyyyeee~ What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? Ugh... So one night when I was lying down to go to bed but also texting Jason, I was being playful and joked for him to sing me to sleep. He sent me a video for "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides (one of his favorite bands) and just pasted the lyrics, and I thought it was the cutest fucking thing ever. I went to bed listening to it and just smiling. It's why I just don't listen to it anymore. I shouldn't have even talked about it, soooo next question. What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die? Ummm South Africa, Yellowstone National Park, Germany, Alaska, and the Bahamas, maybe. How many tattoos would you like to have? I'm gonna be a fuckin mural. I want tats pretty much everywhere. What question do you hate to answer? "What do you like to do for fun?" What's your favourite animated or cartoon program? Fullmetal Alchemist. What do you think the greatest invention has been? Electricity. What's your favourite movie quote? I dunno, I don't really have one. Do you prefer digital or analogue clocks? Analogue clocks are way more elegant and can be beautifully decorated. Who is your favorite foreign singer/musician? Do you translate his or her lyrics? If you exclude English-speaking foreign bands, like from the UK, Rammstein for sure. I can translate some of them. Say something in a foreign language? "Liebe" means "love" in German. What is a weather-type that you like that not many others do? Snow, for sure. I've never understood the "ew, snow" type of people. It's so pretty. Granted, it's rare here, so it's more of a treat down here, but still. Who do you know personally that has a nice singing voice? Sara has a beautiful voice. What was the last word you learned? I have no clue, given how bad my memory is becoming... It's hard for me to learn anything nowadays, because it doesn't stick. What is your favorite culture? (that you find most interesting): I'll be honest, I'm not very well-informed on foreign cultures. Due to taking so many classes though, I do find German culture to be quite appealing. They are very serious about honesty (for example, telling someone you're okay when you're not is frowned upon in small talk, even), as well as manners. I would love to experience their lifestyle. Have you ever watched anime porn? I've never watched porn to begin with. If you got paid $3 million to smoke meth one time would you do it? Nope. I'm not risking addiction or death. Are ladybugs cute? Yesssss. Will you leave the house without fragrance on? Yeah, I usually do. Do you make good money doing what you do? I'm unemployed. I've only ever worked minimum wage jobs. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries, yum. And kiwi. What do you think of horses? I love them! Are you doing something with your life that matters? Ugh, I don't feel like it. Do you like gravy on your mashed potatoes? I hate gravy. What is the dirtiest rap song you have ever heard? Nicole played "WAP" once when I was in the car and I wanted to die. What about a dirty song in any other genre? "Bitches" by Hollywood Undead MIGHT be rap, but idk? What even is their genre???? But anyway, as much as I love the song, it's dirty as shit. What is a genre of music you simply can't stand? Rap, generally. What is, in your opinion, the best way of dealing with a break up? Lots and lots of self-care and focusing on loving yourself and realizing your worth lies in yourself and not another person. What flavor of Doritos do you like best? Cool Ranch, of course. Would you ever go to a comedy club? Yeah, sure. Why is it that photography is becoming a trend? Because it's art, and people enjoy art???????? What is the funniest movie you have ever seen? White Chicks gets me way harder than it should lmao. Would you ever consider dating someone who lived across the country? I guess, so long it was the plan that we'd eventually move in together, and effort was being made to achieve that once we got pretty serious. Do you have a tattoo? If you do, describe the pain you went through when getting it done. Well, I have six, so I'll just talk about my first one, which was on my wrist. It really isn't bad, especially once you've adjusted to the pain. I think the best metaphor would be that it's like lightly pinching a cat scratch. Outlining is the worst part, imo. What is your favorite bookstore? I don't have one. Who was the last person to tell you that you were cute? I have no idea. When was the last time you had a fever? How high did it go? Oh, I couldn't tell you. Those are very rare for me. How many times do you think that you’ve truly been in love before? With who? Twice, with Jason and Sara. Do you prefer French kissing, or regular kissing more, and why? I mean, this depends on the mood as well as how serious we are. Have you ever been married before? How many times? No. Who do you know that gives the best hugs? Summer has always been a big, strong hugger like I am. Have you ever dated someone of the same gender before? Yeah. Who do you consider to be your hero? My mom. Who is your best friend? Tell us about them. Sara. She's a very caring, strong, creative, just overall amazing person who stands firmly for what she feels is right, and we can't forget about her incredible loyalty, nor her absolute adoration for animals, reptiles especially. How much did your car cost? I don't have my own car. What is the last picture you received on your phone of? Sara sent me a photo of Martha, her ball python. Do you have any friends that actually model? No. Do you keep condoms in your room? No, considering I have no reason to. Do you follow any special diet? (dairy free, vegetarian, gluten free etc.) No, but I desperately want to return to being vegetarian. Vegan would be even better, but I know I'm absolutely not capable of that. What is an appliance you don’t have, but would love to have? uhhhhh Which keys on your keyboard are worn out the most? My "a," "s," and "d" from gaming. If you could be any supervillain, which would you be? Ha, I could probably pull off Harley Quinn pretty easily. Though "super"villain sounds a bit strong for her. What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? Either Covid or 9/11, probably. What’s the scariest non-horror movie? I personally think the idea behind Johnny Got His Gun is fucking terrifying. What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? More beautiful than "amazing," but whatever. I can't think of anything else. Jason's mother actually left his father to go back home to New York when he cheated on her, but he followed her all the way there, and they wound up reconciling and were very happily married since. They were a spectacular couple, and I miss them a lot. What brand are you most loyal to? I have no idea. It's hard to be loyal to any when you're not the one buying products. Where are you not welcome anymore? Well, speaking of him, probably Jason's house, haha... I feel that if I just showed up there, his parents would honestly be super happy to see me and want to catch up, but Jason, not so much. I doubt Colleen would welcome me into her house, either. What’s the most recent show you’ve binge-watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Just... adult stuff. Paying bills. Having a stable job. Passing their driver's test. What are some misconceptions about your hobby? We'll use forum roleplay here, in which case I know a very common misconception is that it's sexual in nature and is a kink. It's never been that for me. It's about building unique, complex characters in a vast universe of your creativity, meshing with other's. It's a beautiful thing to me. What’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Oh, I'm sure something with Mom... because she is absolutely never wrong. What’s the longest rabbit hole you’ve been down? Conspiracy theories on YouTube, aha... What odd smell do you really enjoy? I really enjoy the smell of lilacs, though I know people who think they smell too strong and/or just stink. If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show? Hm, interesting question. Maybe approachability, moral alignment, and mood. What is your favorite flavor of pop tart? I really like the chocolate sundae ones. Gum? I really like fruit-flavored gums, especially watermelon or strawberry. Last song you sang along to? I sang a bit to "Second Chance" by Shinedown. Are you fascinated by rivers? Yeah, sure. Streams, more specifically, because you can see the bottom and walk more safely in them. I love exploring those. Do you live near a volcano? No, and I plan on keeping it that way, haha. How big is the screen on your digital camera? I dunno, the normal size for a Canon? Do you find train whistles comforting? No. What bird is the cutest? Oh, that's so hard. I love the pastel-colored ones, and hummingbirds are like, universally cute. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that's actually really cool. Do big eyes freak you out? On people? Generally, no. I tend to find them cute, actually, especially on girls, but I've definitely seen people with big eyes that instead look kinda creepy. Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? Hm, I'm actually not sure. I don't believe so, though. Have you ever held a real sword? No. Have you ever seen a tree over 100 years old? Uh, realistically, probably? That's not that old in the grand scheme of trees, is it? Do you feel uncomfortable at fancy restaurants? I can sometimes, yes. I feel very out-of-place.

[rosedavid]

thank you for the tag @thaliagrase!!

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? honestly it differs depending on the day lol

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? maybe learn another instrument or learn how to draw/paint better.

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? don’t drink tea, but for coffee i use creamer

5. what was your favourite book as a child? percy jackson!! it was my first real fandom, too

6. do you prefer baths or showers? showers

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? a sorcerer (does that count? lol)

8. paper or electronic books? paper

9. what is your favourite item of clothing? depends, but i have a pair of ripped mom jeans that i love so much. but for being at home? pjs 100%

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? i like it and probably wouldn’t change it

11. who is a mentor to you? my mom and some teachers

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? a famous writer!! or artist.

13. are you a restless sleeper? yes lol i talk in my sleep sometimes and move a lot

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? i’m not sure

15. which element best represents you? honestly have no idea! maybe earth? idk though

16. who do you want to be closer to? my colleagues and people at my college 

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my childhood best friends

18. tell us about an early childhood memory i remember rolling down a big grassy hill in preschool because we didn’t have any playground equipment 

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? nothing really lol. i’m not super adventurous in my food.

20. what are you most thankful for? my parents because they’re always so supportive

21. do you like spicy food? i like foods that are a little spicy, but not too much

22. have you ever met someone famous? j.k. simmons

23. do you keep a diary or journal? ii used to keep one as a kid, but i never wrote in it much

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen for notes (if it works well), pencil for everything else

25. what is your star sign? aries i think

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? crunchy at the beginning and then i like some pieces to get softer as i eat it! lol

27. what would you want your legacy to be? honestly, anything, as long as i am remembered for something good. 

28. do you like reading? what was the last book you read? i do, but i don’t read books as much as i’d like to. i mostly read textbooks and fanfic haha

29. how do you show someone you love them? i’ve never been in a romantic relationship, but for other relationships, I will tell them I love them, hug them, and do things with them.

30. do you like ice in your drinks? only if the drink needs it to be cold

31. what are you afraid of? being alone, being forgotten, new things, the list goes on and on...

32. what is your favourite scent? vanilla maybe?

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? depends on the person

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? nice house, lots of pets, traveling, going out to eat a lot

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pool

36. what would you do if you found $50 on the ground? take it, but make sure that no one is looking for it first. 

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? nope, i haven’t seen one

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? loving yourself/staying true to yourself, kindness

39. if you had to have one tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? idk 

40. what can you hear now? my parents talking, birds outside

41. where do you feel the safest? at home in my bed, with my mom

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? social anxiety!!

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? early 2000s lol i’m boring

44. what is your most used emoji? 🥺

45. describe yourself using one word careful

46. what do you regret the most? not being adventurous/outgoing enough

47. last movie you saw? shirley 

48. last tv show you wached? the simpsons i think

49. invent a word and its meaning i would invent a word that represents that feeling of being happy but knowing it won’t last.

tagging: @meteorjam @fairygclds @tyrus-is-canon @uglyballerina @sweetheartandi :)

[mccoys-killer-queen]

@axelandriab​ thank you so much for tagging me in this bc seeing brand new questions I’ve never answered before is like a breath of fresh air

Do you prefer writing in black or blue pen? black

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city? I think about this often and I always used to say city but I’m feeling more country now

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be? guitar... please... if not that then I’d like to speak German fluently...

Do you drink tea/ coffee with sugar? nope (unless you count honey as sugar for tea, then yes)

What was you favourite book as a child? I honestly don’t remember reading books/having books read to me but it was probably Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

Do you prefer baths or showers? I haven’t taken a bath in a good 6 years so I forget what it feels like (I don’t fit in my bathtub anymore... I’m too long) so I gotta say showers by default

If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? either some sort of fairy, nymph, or shapeshifter 

Paper or electronic books? Paper

What is your favourite item of clothing? my denim jacket with all my patches on it

Do you like your name? nope :3) I think Rachel is a very boring, generic, uncreative White Girl name and if I ever get famous (which ain’t gonna happen) I’d totally go by a pen/stage name

Who is a mentor to you? pssh just any of my Rock and Roll Dads (i.e. Joe Elliott, Brian May, Kevin Cronin, Nikki Sixx, etc), I feel like They guide me somehow

Would you like to be famous? famous for something good? Yes. I’m such an extrovert like 60% of the time and I love oversharing and sometimes feel like I’d be good at handling fame. Plus honestly I don’t feel like I’ll be able to survive long in life unless I somehow get famous bc let’s face it I’m never gonna have a “real career” or be satisfied with any job or be able to make a living by constantly working (but then again I don’t have any talent that can make me famous either oops)

Are you a restless sleeper? yeah more often than never :3)

Do you consider yourself a romantic person? aesthetically romantic, sometimes, but I identify as aro. Romance irl just feels wrong, like it doesn’t mix well with me, like when you put a certain metal in water and it explodes

Which element best represents you? Earth? Either earth or water

Who do you want to be closer to? “My favourite musicians ;(” <<stealing this too :c just all the Leppard bois pls

Do you miss someone at the moment? Nope

Tell us about an early childhood memory? I had a computer class in kindergarten, and I remember on the very first day of it, the teacher taught us what a floppy disc was when introducing us to all the parts of a computer. This was in 2006, and I still have yet to use one.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten? Probably chicken and waffle pringles, but dipped in chili (GOOD)

What are you most thankful for? the money I have in the bank (even tho I try not to touch it), my driver’s license, not having a job right now, my therapist, my music, my hamster, being surrounded by green

Have you ever met anyone famous? Yes, Rick Ray of Sunshine Allen :3 that’s it :’3

Do you keep a diary or journal? Nope, even tho my therapist told me that journaling my thoughts is a big help, I kinda don’t wanna go back to doing that

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? Pen bc it flows easier

What is your star sign? Pisces

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy all the way, soggy cereal is a HUGE pet peeve of mine

What would you want your legacy to be? someone who was very interesting and did a lot of things

Do you like reading? What was the last book you read? honestly, reading is overrated. Even if the book is good, reading isn’t as hyped up as everyone on this site thinks it is. I do like reading sometimes, but I barely do. I read a lot in high school bc I had so much free time on my hands in class, but outside of school I can’t do it. The last book I read was a reread of The Princess Bride by William Goldman

How do you show someone you love them? *Lisa Simpson staring at plate* ??? Error 405??

Do you like ice in your drinks? yeah but not a lot. Maybe just one or two cubes to keep it cold but not to dilute it a lot

What are you afraid of? being stuck where I am forever, never escaping my family, never finding my path in life, whatever the hell is wrong with my mentality getting worse and impacting my life in a huge way, any health related problems, I could go on :3)

What is your favourite scent? Old Spice

Do you address older people by their name or surname? ...what exactly is this question asking? Depends on how casual I am with them/how well I know them

If money was not a factor, how would your life be different? I would NOT be living here that’s for damn sure :3) I would’ve been to so many different places by now and maybe I’d actually have a real life and actually BE an interesting person

Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools, bc the ocean is too salty and choppy and doesn’t smell as good as chlorine imo

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? “I’d pick it up, and if I saw the person who dropped it, I’d give it back to them” << true but then if i couldn’t find them then I’d probably go buy some records with it and put the change aside into my Concert Fund

What is one thing you’d want to teach your children? honestly I don’t think I’m ever gonna have kids, but I’d want them to understand that gender roles don’t exist, and neither do the opinions of society

If you had to get a tattoo right now, what and where would it be? ...I’m actually getting a tattoo next week... it’s going to be on the side of my right shoulder, a silhouette of a pine tree with an outline of a crescent moon above it

What can you hear now? The sound of the fridge runnin in the room behind me, my mom getting something out of a drawer

Where do you feel the safest? in my bedroom

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? whatever’s fucked up in my head like anxiety and trauma, etc

If you could travel back to any era in time, what would it be? if I had to travel back anywhere and stay there for the rest of my life, I’d probably go back 1979 to see the dawn of the 80s and live through them. If I had to go for a day then I’d probably pick the summer of 1988 or something

What is your most used emoji? probably 🤙

Describe yourself using one word? tough

What do you regret most? not going to see Def Leppard and Journey when they were less than an hour away 2 years ago. Yes, I couldn’t drive back then, so there was really no way I could’ve gotten there and back (and I could’ve BARELY gotten a floor ticket to begin with, it would’ve cost like half the money I had to my name), but with the Stadium Tour being delayed ANOTHER year I feel like 2 years ago was the only chance I’ll ever have had to see my favorite band :c so even though it was basically impossible for me to go, and a lot of the factors of that were out of my control, I still feel like I blew it, and wish I tried literally everything I possibly could’ve done (like just buy the ticket and figure out how to get there later, call everyone I could think of to try and hitch a ride). Even if I did so, there was still a VERY, VERY slim chance that I could’ve ended up going by some goddamned MIRACLE okay I’ll shut up now sorry I’m just still very upset even so much time later

Last movie you saw? in theaters? Rocketman last summer. In general? Uhhhhh I really don’t know, I think it was Love, Simon

Last TV show you watched? on tv? Rick and Morty. In general? I was watching The Young Ones on youtube today

Invent a word and it’s meaning? Scress (we actually made this up like 2 years ago)- it’s a game where you play chess on a Scrabble board while also playing Scrabble

[abri-chan]

dropping some curiouscat answers here...

What worries you the most about your future?

Entropy.

*

What have you done lately that is worth remembering?

I finally found the courage to do multiple things. I've always been a bit of a generalist, but thought I have to focus on science and nothing else. But recently I started writing as a hobby. The endgoal is still a career in science/engineering as the main focus. But I want to write publishable sci-fi on the side.

*

Does it really matter what others think about you?

Yes and no. Ultimately you are being perceived, so that will affect how others treat you. But you shouldn't care what others think to the point of not being true to yourself.

*

Which is worse: failing or never trying?

Never trying.

*

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

To quote Akane-PP, "the law doesn't protect people, people protect the law". So yes, laws are not natural fundamentals (and those can be broken too); sometimes the right thing to do is break them

*

What small act of kindness have you seen that you will never forget?

My advisor and dearest adult to me makes tea for students hanging around the hallways, or anyone that drops by for advice.

*

When did you last push the boundaries of your comfort zone?

That's everyday for me.

*

What's your biggest priority right now?

Solving general AI.

*

If you die today, will you be happy with how you spent the day?

Definitely not. IMO people that don't fear death lead fulfilling lives, or their pain is so great-anything to make it stop. While in mental anguish a lot, I still "have miles to go before I 'sleep'"...

*

What daily questions might you start asking yourself?

"did you have fun?". Learning new things can be hard and challenging, but you need to step back and ask why you wanted to learn this in the first place. After you cross that steep learning curve, I hope you realized you had fun.

*

How old are you when you became mature?

I was future years old.

*

If you are given a chance to go to a different planet, where will it be?

Somewhere beyond our visible universe. We may never know what lies beyond the boundaries because the universe keeps expanding; so I want a chance to actually see what's on the other end.

*

What would be your ideal way of seeking discomfort?

Learning new things.

*

What do you want to happen on your birthdate?

Become immortal!

*

What is the best thing you can do for a person?

Trust and patience.

*

Have you ever dreamed of being idolized?

Yes, a lot. But tbh my real critic is my inner self; if I was proud of what I do or create it wouldn't matter.

*

If you are to describe yourself using a hashtag, what's your hashtag?

#WeCanDoIt

*

What is something you wish you were better at?

Believing in myself.

*

What do you prefer - to love or be loved?

With regards to people, to be loved.

*

What do you dream about?

Artificial Intelligence and Immortality.

*

What is missing in your life that would make you very happy?

Confidence.

*

Would you prefer a party with a few friends or lots of friends?

Moderate amount of friends. Something in the style of firechats; some snacks and tea/coffee and we cluster in small groups as the night goes on.

*

What are the benefits of being famous?

Instant validation.

*

Is it wrong to not follow the trend?

The world exists in your own mind; you decide what's wrong or right and live with that decision.

*

How can you tell if a watch is smart or stupid?

A smart watch plays that test on you.

*

What two animals should breed and make a new animal?

Humans and octopuses.

*

What do you think people should do more often?

Be kind.

*

When was the last time you screamed?

I scream daily into the void.

*

What magazine cover would you like to get on?

Nature.

*

What would you change in this World?

You should not be required to work to have your basic needs met.

*

If you were granted an autograph from anyone, who would it be?

Ville Valo!

*

Do you believe in soulmates?

Yes and no. It's untestable as of right now if some hypercosmic force destines people to be together. However love is also something you build; through communicating, supporting each other to become better, etc.

*

How can you live till the age of ?

Freeze yourself if minduploading doesn't become a thing in your lifetime.

*

What is the meaning of the life in one word?

Learn.

*

What's your dream job? 👩‍🌾👨🏻‍🚀

Scientist-engineer and sci-fi writer. ;)

*

What's your favorite Disney movie? 🐭

Not counting Pixar movies, Treasure Planet.

*

What's your biggest fear?

Failure.

*

Would you change any aspect of your personality? Which?

Thinking I'm not good enough.

*

Would you like to be famous?

Yes!

*

What's your favorite video-game?

Contra!

*

Would you like to be able to see into your own future? 👀

That's what full dna sequencing is for!

*

If you met a magic genie, what would your three wishes be?

Genius, Immortality, Entropy to be reversible

*

If you could change one event in history, which would it be?

Dark Ages

*

If you could have a conversation with a single celebrity or historical character who has already passed away, who would it be?

Stanislaw Lem!

*

In your opinion, which is the most relevant event in history, to this day?

Invention of writing!

*

Share a photo of your favorite pet.

*

What do you value the most in a friend?

Loyalty.

*

What do you value the most, the past, the present or the future?

It would be wise to value the present more, but the future bc I can only dream of better days.

[voidgremlin]

An Oath to Hope (Chapter 6)

Chapter 6: Dear Diary, Today I think the stars went out.

Dear Diary,

Today I told my parents that I didn’t liked the sheep. They are smelly, they are loud and they annoy me. [Drawings of flowers]

Dear Diary,

Today I prepared my bag and re-told my parents that I didn’t liked the sheep, I called mean auntie Sharon to ask if she was ok with me being at Leadworth with her. She said nothing. But that’s not a no. [Drawing of Amy with orange hair inside a car passing by a sign named Leadworth]

Dear Diary,

Mom and Dad don’t like the idea of letting me go to town, they say they don’t mind driving me to school for hours. But I mind a lot ! I HATE THE SHEEPS !!!! [Drawings of sheep being crossed out]. 

Amelia Jessica “Amy” Pond is a kid that would make most parent proud. Bright mind under layer of passion and anger and at the core: poetry but of course no parents would be able to describe their own children with such clarity. To them, she is a kid that never caused much trouble and was helpful at the farm and slaughterhouse that the Ponds owned. Despite her many many attempts to tell them she hated it here, or the fact that all she wanted was to leave and her tantrums. To Augustus and Tabetha Pond, all is well in the best of the world. Parenthood is a difficult thing to be, but the Ponds were not trying that hard.

Amy is small kid who rather be close to friends than isolated and she understood that very quickly: she didn’t wanted to be alone and her family wasn’t good enough expect the sheep, they were good but smelly. So she provoked her transfer to Leadworth, it was long and difficult, she didn’t even liked her aunt. She wasn’t … Evil but had the special brand of Pond’s care. But in her head she will be close to school, close to friends and she won’t be alone anymore. So it was worth the argument. In the end it was the call of Sharon who begged her parents to make her stop calling her home and be done with it that changed their mind. If Amy could hear the tone of her aunt she would understand why the hell, the next day, her baggage’s were packed and she was off the Pond’s property.

The goodbye were short and curt, they told her that she could come back any time, even for tea.

The Hellos were as well, curt and short. Her aunt gave her a nod before showing an empty and bare room. Letting her installing herself on her own.

She was 9 years old.

And more maturity than her pairs.

First, she tried to go back to her parents each weekend but they never could go pick her up so she found alternative ways that required many buses. It was tiring but more than that was the fact that home was still awful. Her parents were busy, the cattle loud and her alone.

After a few weeks the going didn’t make any sense anymore. She stopped, and through the daily calls it didn’t seemed like they noticed her absence. But her aunt noticed her presence in the house.

“Is there nothing to keep you occupied those days ?” she said during the first holidays they had together clearly annoyed of someone being in her space during her little free time. Amelia doesn’t think she answered that day but it didn’t stopped her aunt to take action about it.

She hired a babysitter.

Well she hired the neighbor’s kid and asked him if for a few bucks he would like to play with her Amelia. The floppy haired kid who is dressed like Sharon’s grandpa, didn’t knew any better and wanted the money to do crazy and stupid stuff to his moms’ demise. He accepted and showed up the next day in front of Amelia’s door.

Which led to a lot of screaming because one, he showed up in front of Amy’s bedroom door at 6 a.m. on a rainy Sunday where all Amy’s wished was to sleep in peace. Two, he is a weirdo. Three, he was two years younger than her.

“Aunt Sharon ! What do you mean a babysitter !! He is seven ! I could be his big sister ! What the hell auntie !”

“Language young lady and he is your babysitter because I said so. You better not bother me anymore, I have a paper to write.” She snapped back closing the door in front of the two kids. Who awkwardly stayed still in silence before the door open again and aunt Sharon showed up, money in her hand addressing herself to kid in suspenders. “Here Alexander, watch over her would you. And you Amelia do not call me auntie again, it’s silly.”

Before the kid could answer a thanks, the door closed again with force and Alexander turned himself to Amelia who was shaking in anger.

“You… You can call me auntie if you want.” He said smiling at her.

She doesn’t know if it was because it was kind, or because he was the kid next door who keeps waving at her hello, but she didn’t snapped back. Instead she asked him to come to the kitchen, she wanted a good breakfast and he told her that he knew the recipes for the most greatest one, his words.

The breakfast he proposed, gave the young girl fear for her and the kid’s sake. Who eats fish fingers and custard in this world ?

“Are you from this world ?” Amy asked.

“Nope ! My mothers got me from somewhere else. I don’t where though.” He said thoughtful before beaming up “They told me they would tell me at my next birthday if I want ! I’m just not sure to want to know. What if they say I’m from the moon ?”

She smiles “ Alright moon boy, what do you mean by that ?”

“I’m adopted.”

“Oh !”

“But I am totally able to babysit you ! I already know how to read already and algebra !”

“Algebra… Wow. Doesn’t make you able to guard me.”

“Your ‘auntie’ thought it does.”

Amy let out a groan before digging back to her toast.

The ‘babysitting’ was meant to be for only a few days, the holidays, Amy said so, and it was nice to have someone to talk to and have fun with. Even if it a weirdo whose holiday project was to built a jiggily timey, aka a toaster that wake you with breakfast ready. It never worked but it was funny to try. Amy’s project was to write more in her diary but it was difficult with Alexander who was always requiring her time.

The holidays over, the kid kept showing up, after school showing her what he did and telling her how bored he was. He told her about nightmares he sometimes have, his stupid fear of being afraid that she couldn’t see him anymore.

How could she forget such a good and wonderful boy.

He listened to Amy’s calls and offered her cake for his mom when she was sad. Gradually Amy found herself into the boy’s home more often than not. The Songs where lovely, making a place for Amy’s at each dinner, if she ever needed to crash in there. Listened to her story and displayed her drawings in the kitchen. The Ponds got quickly the knowledge of the young boy who was all over their child’s life.  And their only reaction was to ask the size of the little one to knit him a sweater.

Also there’s sheep named Amy in farm. Family’s pet.

Amelia hearing the news took it very well, spreading the news with a grin.

“I got a little sister !” She says under the worried eyes of the Songs. She was hurt of course, she was hurt. She felt like she needed to be a sheep to be accepted in this crazy family. But she chose to not care to much. She was here. She was happy and she got her moon boy.

Dear Diary,

Today, Rory stayed with me all night for the studying. He stayed to read my writing. I think he liked my stories I have written. Even told me I should publish it. I think I am gonna marry this man.

She met Rory. Beautiful and smiling Rory, who wanted to help people. Wonderful and kind Rory, who despise it all was here.  Childhood was long over and she didn’t even saw him, in all her weirdness. She knew in retrospect that Rory did followed her around since the beginning but … She didn’t saw. It didn’t made her a bad person. Does it ?

Rory gave some stability, because to be honest Moon Boy was anything but stable, he gave up very early school and kept doing odds job, even introduced Amy to the job of kissogram. His house was a mess of trinkets and half assed invention and way too many times the fire alarm went on.

Rory was showing up everyday with a smile and asking the question of how she was doing. Rory was making sure she had a meal and a kiss on the cheek every day. He helped her with sending letters to different publishers for her books, helped her rewrite when needed through sleepless nights, he rewrote for her even when she gave up with his stale, matter of fact style of writing and... He didn’t stopped even when he started to be a nurse.

She loved him.

Amy was blessed she thought, maybe it was the sheep, maybe it was luck.

But even as an author, she didn’t think of a lot of things to say when went down on one knee showing him the ring that Alexander begged to make. He looked at her with those sweet eyes. And all she said was:

“Hey wanna spend the rest of your silly life with me ?”

The gasp that moon boy made was enough for both of them to watch him being all emotional about their moment, it made her add.

“And him, because Alex and I we are a weird package deal.”

He only laugh before kneeling in front of her and kissing her.

I guess that was yes.

[thelifestyleeditor]

CREATIVE CONVERSATIONS

Who are you: Silvana de Soissons

What is your work: I am the founder and product maker at Farm Soap Co.

Where can we find you:

Website: www.farmsoapco.com

Twitter: @silvanades

Instagram: @farmsoapco

Facebook: Farm Soap Co.

Describe your work in 5 words: Handmade, small-batch, botanical skincare.

Can you tell us a little about what you do? I grow and produce botanical skincare products - I have just recently launched my business with eight different plant-based soaps, and will be launching bath salts, body oils, toners, mists and creams soon. I aim to grow the botanicals which are distilled and turned into the hydrosols, macerations and essential oils that go into the products. I am working on a section of the walled garden at Deans Court in Wimborne - hopefully we will be able to harvest the first plants in the autumn of this year.

Can you tell us about your career journey and how you got to where you are today? Well, I have certainly had a circuitous career, starting with a degree in Economics from the University of Bath and then moving to London. I have worked in finance, sales, marketing and retailing and have also owned my own food and lifestyle business in Bath. For a long time I have been a buyer of artisan toiletries and skincare products – both as a consumer and also as a retailer. I believe in the healing, nourishing and medicinal power of plants, and in putting the very best ingredients on my skin in the same way I would only put the best, seasonal, local ingredients on my plate. I wanted to create a skincare brand that was completely plant based, vegan, zero chemical and zero plastic, with trustworthy and transparent sourcing, and production with a sense of place. That’s how Farm Soap Co. was born.

Where is your office/studio, and what is the view out of your window? I am very fortunate, especially since the Coronavirus lock-down was announced, that my workshop is in the back of my home, so I have no commute. I live on a Dorset dairy farm and my workshop used to be a cheese room - the right temperature and size to create a soap making workshop. My view out of the window is the garden.

What is the first thing you do when you get to work? I come down to my kitchen at around 6.30am to let my Fox Terrier dog Gumdrop out. I then make coffee, listen to the news on BBC Radio 4, and then I make my ‘To Do’ list for the day - amount of soaps that need to be produced, check on the cured soaps, answer emails, send out samples to potential stockists, order new supplies etc.

What are the tools of your trade? There are so many! The soaps are made from olive oil, coconut oil, shea butter, almond oil, essential oils, lye and in some cases sea salt and seaweed from Dorset’s Jurassic coast. I use weighing scales, pouring jugs, bowls, spoons, knives, thermometers, pots, spatulas, moulds, trays, steel racks, the list goes on!

What can’t you work without? My Roberts radio – I have it on for most of the day, a bit of Radio 3, a bit of Radio 4. Always accompanied by Italian coffee or British tea, with a cheeky biscuit or two.

Why do you love what you do? I love working for myself; I love the artisan, handmade process; I love creating a product that is pure, natural and simple; I love growing and producing; I love not having to manage people (is it OK to say that?!).

Who or what inspires you? There are so many excellent independent, small-batch botanical skincare producers all over the world, and I am inspired and informed by them every day. It is fascinating to see how producers and formulators from many different countries use their culture, heritage, flora and customs to create skincare, toiletries and well-being products with a sense of place and pride. I love to follow the work of: Bamford, L.A Bruket, Sphaera Soap, Seed to Skin, Primally Pure, Rawbatch Soap, Pai Skincare, Votary, Vintner’s Daughter, Wild Sage, Wildsmith Skin, Wilder Botanics, A.S. Apothecary, Enchanted Plants, Yellow Gorse, Saint Iris Adriatica, Honest Skincare, Haeckels, so many!

What is the best advice you have received? This is a quote by Benjamin Franklin, so obviously it’s not advice received but it’s the advice I always give to those who want to be cheap, do sloppy work and cut corners: “The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.” The best advice always comes from my husband John-Paul, and my 24 year old daughter Mariella. Whenever I have had problems dealing with certain people in my career, managing difficult members of staff, or handling a supplier who wasn’t behaving in a professional manner, I tell them the whole issue and they talk me through sensible solutions bit-by-bit. They really should set up an “Agony Aunt Advice” column, they’re so good at getting to the heart of the matter and nailing the solution on the head. Sometimes when the going gets tough in business (and when is the going not tough in business?!), you need to be strong and detach yourself from situations - you can’t see the solution clearly if you’re too close.

One moment in your career you will always remember? Err, launching Farm Soap Co. at the time of the Coronavirus epidemic has got to be right up there as memorable. I have never launched a lock-down business before – any helpful hints and tips?! Still, soap saves lives! We will always need soap, remember that.

What is the best part of your job? The best part of my job is working with fantastic botanical ingredients – coconut oil, shea butter, essential oils, herbs and flowers.

And the worst? The washing up! You would not believe the amount of washing up there is after you have made a batch of soap. Endless washing, drying, putting away and repeat!

What’s your proudest career achievement? Still being in the world of business and making and selling products thirty two years after graduating - I love making, creating, learning and developing and I think that it’s an achievement in life to never lose the gift of wonder, the thirst for knowledge and the drive to explore and invent. I am proud to be a dinosaur and still alive - that’s an achievement.

What are you working on at the moment? Formulations for botanical bath salts, body oils, toners, tonics and creams.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life? Please can someone find a vaccine for Coronavirus. Please could someone come and help me do the washing up. Also, please could someone come on a daily basis and tire Gumdrop out!

Can you share a favourite websites or Instagram feed? I love The Shopkeepers @the_shopkeepers https://www.theshopkeepers.com/ - they are such a wonderful resource for learning about and celebrating small, independent shops all over the world

I love The Botanical Candle Company in Shaftesbury - @thebotanicalcandleco https://www.thebotanicalcandleco.co.uk/ – such a beautiful shop selling wonderful homewares, lifestyle goods and the world’s best smelling scented candles made of soy wax. The owner Amalia Pothecary (what a wonderful name!) and her husband James, also have a lovely home and pets and her personal account @_apothecary_ is a hilarious peek at her life at home.

One of the most beautiful feeds on Instagram belongs to No 56 Penzance @no.56penzance and the artisan makers account @no.56makers https://no-56.com/ - I want to buy every single thing in that shop. The owner Carole has exquisite taste.

As does @thehambledon and @objectsofuse and @gonzalezygonzalezstore and @march.sf and @levestiairedejeanne and @rennes._ and @bontucson and @cinq.kyoko and @cloveandcreek and @avidaportuguesa and @veritecoeur_shop and @veritecoeur_atelier and @plaingoods and @tiinathestore...I could go on and on!

What have you learned the hard way? It takes a great deal of patience and commitment to formulate a good soap, or any skincare product. There are no shortcuts - you need to commit the time, resources, focus and energy. There are lots of failed attempts. You will end up using A LOT of soap yourself.

If you could do another job what would you like to do and why? I am a fair weather person - during the Summer I would like to work in a herb garden and look after plants all day long - being surrounded by nature, with a straw hat on my head, a Thermos flask of tea and a picnic lunch in my basket. Then in Winter you would find me in front of the fire - looking through all the seed catalogues and gardening books, planning the fair weather days.

What advice would you give to someone wanting to do what you are doing? You will need to learn a great deal, go on workshops and courses, follow all the professional makers, buy good books on the subject, practice, practice, practice, and develop your own distinctive products. The toiletries and skincare market is very crowded - you will need your own USP (unique selling proposition) and good branding and packaging too. I would say, go and work for others for a few years first and watch and learn all the sides of the business - from finance to sourcing, origination, production, sales, distribution etc. With every job comes an apprenticeship period that will stand you in good stead for the future.

If you could be someone for a day who would it be? I would like to be Jo Malone - she has such a wonderful sense of smell, ability to create new fragrances and market them in an extremely overcrowded market. She sold her eponymous business to Estée Lauder and then created Jo Loves. She has overcome huge personal adversity without losing her enthusiasm and smile - what a brilliant entrepreneur and positive, engaging role model to all who follow.

Do you have a secret ambition still to achieve? So many - I would love for Farm Soap Co. to grow as a business and be stocked in my favourite lifestyle stores and boutique hotels and B&Bs. My ambition is to keep learning and developing, producing really good botanical skincare products and toiletries for all my customers to enjoy.

What is your personal motto? Keep your head and hopes high.

If you had an extra hour each day what would you do with it? Enjoy a really long, hot bath with essential oils and bath salts, a glass of cold Prosecco in hand, woody, scented candles flickering, a warm, white fluffy towel on the radiator and clean flannel pyjamas. I am totally rock & roll!

How would you like to be remembered? She came. She saw. She made it happen. Then she had a bath.

Thank you Silvana for talking to The Lifestyle Editor.

[stratsandwhiskeywritestuff]

Q+A With Strats and Whiskey!

We held a brief Q+A over on our Twitter, and had some awesome questions come in! We’ll post em here too for everyone to see. Have questions for us too? Hit us up on Twitter or in our ask box :D we’d love to hear from you!

Questions include asking us about the collaborative process, about writing kink together, the trust that takes, what characters we love writing most and our thoughts on writing in general!

PaleGlimmer: I asked about collab writing because I have no idea how you make it work.

WHISKEY: I’ve been collaborating on stories since I got into Hannibal. For me, it started as an offshoot of online RP. If you go back far enough you can see that, because the writing is stilted and jumpy, and you can tell that two people are writing. I’ve had three major collab partners in my fandom life and after a time our “voices” and styles start to gel and it becomes more seamless. That, for me, means that’s the right partner to write with, because you start taking on their mannerisms and descriptions, and they take on yours, and people can’t tell (or can tell very vaguely) that two people wrote a story.

As for technicalities, we just “tag” each other with part of the story for the other to continue it. Sometimes it’s short tags, dialogue, or brief descriptions, other times we get carried away (in the best way possible) and end up writing 6k a day. With Strats and I, we started with preferential characters and usually tagged for just them, but now we cover everything and everyone in our tags.

STRATS: Whiskey covered this pretty well. With Whiskey, We share characters pretty evenly now, and just write about 200-300 word chunks back and forth, but there are definitely characters we each feel more comfortable with. And scenarios we both excel at! Even if I haven’t written much, I’ll tag Whiskey in if we are coming up on something Whiskey is better at, and vice versa. (For example, Whiskey is much better at pretentious Hannibal speeches than I am, and I have a particular fondness for writing emotional breakdowns. This doesn’t mean we are the only person to write those, of course, just that we tag each other in more often.)

If I’m writing with anyone else, I usually write the same way. There’s only one person I’ll still do RP-style writing with. Usually I try to match my partner’s style, so for example, when I wrote with YAMD I focused a lot more on detailed descriptions than I usually do. I can’t really describe it, I just try to align with how my partner writes. 

I’M NOT VERY HELPFUL, SORRY :D

Cuttlefishcatfish:

1. What do you love about writing?

STRATS: When you finally get to that moment, that scene you’ve been thinking about for AGES, the one you have entirely plotted for weeks. 

Also, writing emotional breakdowns. Give me a sobbing panic attack any day. 

WHISKEY: The moment you hit the flow point and everything just makes sense; either an idea just CLICKS or you finally get over that plot point you were worried about and you are racing through.

2. What do you hate about writing?

STRATS: god why haven’t we yet invented a way for me to think words onto the page? I’M SO TIRED. 

WHISKEY: That meme? The one that goes like “I need this very specific fic and I need it immediately… which means I need to write it… but I just wanna read it, not write it”. That.

3. One writing tip that you could give to other writers.

STRATS: When I was a teenager I came across some writing advice from an author I loved (I want to say Steven King, but it’s been years). The advice was “sit down and actually write.” And I was PISSED. As a teenager struggling with motivation, I hated that advice. 

Now I’m almost 27 and I can safely say that the best writing advice I can give you is JUST FUCKING WRITE THE THING. Even on days I feel like my writing is garbage, I force out a bit of garbage. Force your way through the shitty parts so you can get to the fun parts. You can always go back and edit the shitty parts later (and often it turns out they weren’t as shitty as you thought they were). 

WHISKEY: Practice. I’m sorry, I’m trite and boring but honestly that’s the only way you will get better, get into a habit of writing all the time, and start to find your own voice. Practice even just 100 words a day, coz that’s 100 words more than you had yesterday.

4. One overused word in fanfics?

WHISKEY: Oh god our beta actually points these out now haha! I’m terrible for teeth/tongue/lip action (he tongued the corner of his mouth, flashed his teeth, bit his lip)

STRATS: any time someone’s smile “quirks up at the corners” or you read the words “fluttering/thrumming pulse,” that’s me. It’s always me. I have been called out on the hummingbird pulse before. 

5. Have you guys disagreed on a story direction? If yes, how do you resolve that?

WHISKEY: I don’t think we have *disagreed* really, once in a while we find that a story doesn’t flow how it should, and we start over, or a character we had planned in our head ends up written differently on a tag. In that case we usually just ping the other and explain what we were after (we have a chat always open alongside writing) and figure out what works best for the story. I can think of a couple times that’s happened and it’s always a super chill and fair affair; both of us have “won” those kinds of things before.

STRATS: We gel really well together, and often our stories are at least loosely planned out from the beginning, so it doesn’t come up much. Every once in a while one of us says “so I don’t think this is working” and we usually do our best to find a way to change it around. It’s not really “fun” to write together if you’re making your partner write something they aren’t happy with, so we try to take each other’s opinions into account. 

6. How did you guys manage to let the other into your thought process? Writing is intimate. With a writing partner, that person knows what your kinks, opinions about things, etc. are. Was it scary to let that person in and see you being vulnerable with your works? This is assuming that you let your personality bleed through your stories.

So, this is an awesome question actually, thanks for asking it, and the answer might sound a bit weird so bear with us! We both get a bit of a (major) crush on our writing partners when we write, and after. Not in a way that would be considered cheating or manipulative but in a way that is… intimate. You said it right that it’s intimate. Neither of us want to date the other (besides, Strats is married) but we love each other and spend a lot of time together with our writing.

There is a lot of trust there, and opening up is a process. I think with Strats and I, we started talking about a kink we shared (human furniture) and it sort of bled out from there. “Oh, I also like bondage! And I’m a huge fan of cock and ball torture, you into that?” and it grew from there.

There were some kinks that we came across that we’d both agree were not our jam and we’d just put them away, and there were some kinks that at one point were not one of our kinks but now we share them. These are interesting ones because it happened absolutely organically; neither of us ever push the other into kinks we know make the other uncomfortable, but we do offer the chance, if one of us is so inclined.

For Whiskey this was ABO and feminization, for Strats it’s underage. Once in a while we’ll push a little to see how we feel about those things, but there’s always a carte blanche to back out if anything makes us uncomfortable. It’s honestly such a safe place to explore these things that we really love it. Also both of us are super kinky and very open about it so there’s usually VERY little (if any) filter when we talk sex/kink.

Blue Posey: Where do you get the ideas from? Your stories are so varied.

WHISKEY: We shamelessly pluck ideas from the Hannigram Kinkmeme on Discord, we have about 150 saved in a spreadsheet that we random number generate from when we want a new idea. Sometimes it’s AUs of movies or other shows that we like, sometimes it’s just an idea that we’ve had that we put out into the void and one of us will freak out and connect it to something.

STRATS: we also both keep track of twitter and tumblr and will send each other prompts based on those. We are following quite a few non-fandom porn accounts… 

and of course, sometimes I wake up at four am and text whiskey absolute gibberish and in the morning we write a fic.

Christina Shinn: I always like knowing about what gets writers really excited about their own fics. How writers overcome their writer's block. What motivates writers. What are some pet peeves of writers. YAY! Love your fics!

WHISKEY: 1. I get excited about fics I know people are excited about. If Strats pings me with a story idea and she’s stoked about it, I’ll catch that fever and be entirely into exploring that story. Likewise if someone commissions us or requests a story that really digs its heels in.

STRATS: 1) I’ve gotten a LITTLE less vain now that I do commissions and gifts for other people, but generally, every single thing I have written is something I’ve wanted to read, and so I love rereading it. Sometimes I’ll cringe at a typo or a mistake or an awkward line, but overall, I love everything I write. I have spent hours retreading my own fics before. Write the kind of story you want to read!

WHISKEY: 2. Writer’s block is an asshole and honestly I have no actual “fix it” for you; collab writing definitely helps because you have someone to soundboard off of, but even then sometimes we find ourselves just stuck. That’s when we start yet another original story XD

STRATS: 2) Writer's block occasionally eats me alive. If it’s REALLY hitting you, take a day off. It’s okay. Take a break. Do something fun. 

But once that day is over WRITE THE THING. Write something terrible. Just do it. You can always fix it later

WHISKEY: 3. Collab writing is hugely motivating for me, it’s an immediate and awesome feedback loop of love. You tag, you send it off, and someone FINDS THAT IDEA COOL ENOUGH TO CONTINUE and ping you back, and you have new material to work with that didn’t come out of your head and… it’s great, it really is. Also feedback from readers. Even if it’s critique (note: not “I hated this” but “this could have been done differently imo”) it’s a great way to keep growing and moving as a writer.

STRATS: 3) collab writing is really motivating for me because I am a Guilt Monster and other people are relying on me. For my own stuff, I’m motivated because I’m writing something I like. Something I want to reread later. 

If a story isn’t working for you (and it isn’t required for some sort of work or whatever), stop writing it. Go write something you like. It’s okay to say “actually, I don’t want to write this one anymore.”

WHISKEY: 4. I think every writer has a pet peeve regarding their own headcanons. Some people hate endearments with a pairing, but have their own pet names that work for them in their personal headcanon. In others’ work? There are certain things that irk me, but they’re also entirely personal. If I feel that a character has been written really OOC in a fic that is marked as canon for instance, it grinds my gears. THAT SAID that’s also the writer’s own prerogative.

STRATS: 4) I have too many pet peeves to mention because I am a snob, but I still have relatively low standards for what I’ll read, so I’ve read a vast variety of things. 

Besides what Whiskey said about characterization, I have a few aspects of life that I’m somewhat knowledgeable about, and I can’t stand when people get it WRONG. Special mention goes to people writing children badly, which is the entire reason Family of Choice exists. If you don’t have children or know children, PLEASE do some research into child development before you write them. It drives me up the wall when kids are doing things they shouldn’t be at that age. NEWBORNS. DON’T. GIGGLE.

[vaguelygeiszlerian]

1 to 50

ok i just saw this existed, i live on tumblr mobile where i ignore the activity tab and scroll endlessly, bear w me

Animated character that was your gay awakening? uhhhhhhh,,,....,,,.. if i remembered anything abt my childhood i would tell u, im gonna say rukia from bleach because i want gorgeous short people to step on me

Grilled cheese or PB&J? peanut butter Always... tho if it was a fancy grilled cheese (there is a special preparation).... i would be torn

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? it really depends! i bounce around, i watch a lot of baumgartner restorations, i watch a LOT of nyx fears video essays on horror movies i would never watch, i watch longplays of, like, nier automata bc im still delighted by cryaotic?

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? i dont really get to order a lot of drinks at bars, itll depend, if im with friends ill order as many things off the cocktail menu as my money allows, if im with my parents ill order long island iced teas or whiskey and lemonade

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? i literally own like 3 pairs of shoes, one of which being the only pair i can actually safely wear haha.... but my favorite pair is the black red and gold converse that dont fit anymore but still remind me of high school

Top three cuisines? mexican, italian, whomever the fuck invented kasoundi

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? yeah as said above i have no clue about anything about my childhood so idk i think mum said once that my first proper word was just ‘no’ which sounds abt right

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? idk if my last job counts? i mean i used to do all round garden labor stuff until my pain got worse and i literally couldnt anymore so i got relegated to desk work

Look up. What’s directly across from you? oh a container of pesto i didnt like the flavour of and just... forgot to throw out.... i will do that tomorrow

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a rwby poster signed by ray and jack? its p cool

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? preferred right now? wrapped in a metric fuckton of blankets w my partner

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? i..... dont like bagels

Brunch or midnight snacks? i live a weirdly scheduled life, midnight snacks and brunch are interchangeable to me now, so both

Favorite mug you own i..... dont really have one? all of my actual mugs that are mine have my deadname on them haha

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? overbrewed black coffee that someone left to go cold before dumping six packs of sugar in

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) ‘ And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me ‘ bc we all love a bit of mitski when we are feeling the self isolation creeping in

Fruity or herbal teas? fruity teas only! or rather i drink fruit tisanes! but if you mean actual tea then herbal, i only drink peppermint tea

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? fruits basket! everyone watch the reboot

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? all the books i read for class sucked but medea wasnt so bad

Do you match your socks? only when theyre very fun patterned socks, and even then sometimes i will match them to the wrong pair but the same pattern, aka my double watermelon combo (i have a pair of green socks w watermelons and a pair of black socks w watermelons so)

Have you ever been horseback riding? no and i never will because i am fucking terrified of horses

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) uh.... uh i mean im not sure if it counts as a phase but i was stupid into vampires (to the point of me and my friends constructing the intricate theory that our teacher was a vampire and we had to kill her by the time we graduated (she was not and we did not and i hate all of those people now) i was just the weird conspiracy kid i guess, we used to spend every lunch staring across the oval at a house we were SURE an alien lived in (it was just a plastic bag being rustled by a fan)

Have you ever been to jail? bkdnbrb god no

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? im a lazy susan

Puzzles? i cant solve a rubiks cube but give me a 2000 piece jigsaw and ill sit there for 6 hours trying to solve it

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? oh this is tough..... orange juice, the fancy kind but with no bits in it, i used to like the bits but these days i just want a clean juice experience

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? ,,,,,,the ya fiction section, i never buy anything from there but i like to see if series i read as a teenager ever got new instalments after i stopped liking them

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? how to sleep like a normal person

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? uh, it depends! lizzo or my playlist of musicals! (which is literally just starkid/tcb stuff)

Where could someone find you in a museum? i could literally be anywhere, probably in front of some old piece though, just staring for an hour bc im struck by the majesty of it (and my legs probably locked up so i couldnt move anyway)

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? so i have a nice white button up and some really nice jeans i just got, and my suspenders, and my cool blue heels that i know i cant wear bc my legs cant handle walking in heels anymore, but it would look cool am i right

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? i look up at my roof which is almost entirely covered in glow in the dark stars and then stare into the camera (i wish every day that my roof was like the roof of the healthy harold van, i still have fucking dreams of that beautiful ceiling)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? non traditional? id want a lizard that could curl round my shoulders like a leathery scarf

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? i dont have any photos on my wall so art by default

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i just want the pensive emoji tattooed in the small of my back so if i wear a crop top everyone has to suffer with me

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with fuck superheroes they suck, can i hang out with jason todd red hood style

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? oceans, i want to go to the beach so fucking bad

Favorite mid-2000s song i dont really have a Big Favorite but like..... i constantly thank god for esteban

How do you dress when you’re home alone? ive been in the same sweatpants and old paint shirt i got from my painting and decorating course for three days

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? armchair closest to the kitchen, perfect to make a quick escape if dad comes in

Knives or swords? knives, i dont have the upper body strength for swords

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving? oh uh run away with me by crj, *bwoooooooo buhnuhnuuuuuu buhnuhnuuuuuhhh buhnuhnuuuuhhhhh*

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BUT SPECIFICALLY ONLY CERTAIN PARTS FROM EACH OF THEM BC COLLECTIVELY THEY SUCK BUT PARTS OF THEM ARE PERFECT

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? no caption i dont want people to really acknowledge that i post things

Name a classic Vine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anQds9PQ7CA

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? hash browns hash browns hash browns ONLY

How do you top your ice cream? god its been so long since ive been able to eat ice cream.... with the reeses peanut butter ice cream shell topping

Do you like Jello? jelly is the pinnacle of our society and i wish i were eating it right now

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? i wish i had a picture of myself and my partner so i could set it as my phone lock screen (that or i wish i had a picture of me and a friend i really dearly miss bc i have pics of her in my phone but not of us together and i want some but i cant bring myself to say so)

How are you at climbing trees? theres a tree in my front yard i used to be able to hang off but nowadays i think id hurt myself just trying to lift my nasty meat sack off the ground trying

[galadrieljones]

11 Questions

tagged by @buttsonthebeach. thanks so much!! ^_^

1. What image or images do you come back to over and over again in your writing?

Birds, orchards, night sky.

2. Which character’s point of view do you most enjoy writing? (OC or canon)

Not sure? I have really grown fond of writing men. I like writing the male POV. I think it’s an interesting study and use of empathy. 

3. What is the first piece of inspiration that led to the project you are working on now?

For that he may hold me by the hand, which is my BRAND new project--I have always liked the Arthur/Albert ship. I’ve always liked the bisexual Arthur headcanon. Rockstar has written a bisexual male protagonist before, so this headcanon is very arguable. Arthur, as a character, seems very emotionally unavailable throughout most of the game. I feel like all the times he comes closest to *actually* flirting with any character in-game, the times he seems most open and easy-going, most confident and in-control of his own domain, are spent with Albert. With Albert, Arthur comes alive a little bit, like he’s got some blood flowing through his veins. I guess I wanted to explore that further, and of course it’s mostly planned out, and it is looking like probably the most straight-up romantic love story I’ve ever written. I mean, Arthur offers to protect Albert multiple times. He uses those literal words: “I’ll protect you.” Albert flails. He calls Arthur a gentleman. “You, sir, are a gentleman,” he says. “You don’t know me very well,” says Arthur. “Well, you’re a gentleman to me,” says Albert. Arthur legit is blushing. Arthur carries his bag for him. ???? Arthur worries about him. Albert is genuinely in awe of Arthur’s relationship to and knowledge of nature. To me, Arthur feels genuinely under-appreciated by nearly every member of the gang. There are really no other characters who fawn over and admire Arthur the way Albert does. I think...I think Arthur could get into that.

4. What is one fic you have always wanted to write but haven’t gotten a chance to yet?

My Arlathan AU! I always talked about going back and writing the story of my Arlathan and the Great War--Solas and Mythal’s love story, what happened with Solas’s mother Leanathy, the love triangle with Solas, Ghilan’nain, and Mythal, Ghil’s betrayal, Solas smoking elfroot in the kitchens with Abelas and flirting with the servant girls, etc. etc. I want to write it! But I don’t! Think! I ever will! Wah.

5. What project has been the toughest for you to work on?

Probably my art! Ugh. With the new baby, it’s really fallen away. I still draw, but definitely not every day. With drawing, I really have to like, focus and try so hard. It’s not easy, and I get very fixated and it’s hard for me to move in and out of the space at a moment’s notice, which I sort of need to be able to do right now. But writing for me is easy. I can be writing while doing anything. I can be writing one minute and then tending to my kids in the next, and vice versa. It’s just an experience thing. So I’ve just been writing a lot. That’s been my main creative outlet, which is okay. It’s normal for me. But I miss drawing!! Of course starting another chapter fic probably isn’t going to help with that much lmfao.

6. Do you have any routines or habits for writing?

Probably just my new need to have my phone drafts. I so rarely just sit down to an empty page without prepared material anymore. I write so many scenes on my phone before I start typing in word. It’s like the lynchpin of my writing process lately.

7. How do you get to know more about each of your characters? Do their personalities and backstories tend to come to you immediately, or do you have to “spend some time” with them to figure that out?

Hmm. I think I need to spend some time with them. There are certain things that come to me immediately, and a lot of the time, it’s because those things just fit my aesthetic tendencies. So like, Arthur being able to count cards and cheat at blackjack, and his ability to do sleight of hand at the poker table--these things came to me immediately, just like they did with Solas (who also does sleight of hand and magic tricks and is very good at cards). That stuff all just comes from my husband, who is a good mathematician and super good at games like poker and blackjack. So like, most of my male characters are...that way lol.

Other things, like backstory-wise, it’s usually a mixture of spur of the moment and then well-thought-out stories. So for Mary Beth, she just seems like she’d be from Kansas. So, she’s from Kansas. Then I go searching for a good town for her to be from in like the 1870s when she would have been born. And I find a good town, and then that leads to something else about the backstory of the entire gang, etc. With Sene Lavellan, it took me a long time to invent her whole backstory and to realize she was a rich Dalish elf, and that this was central to her identity. BUT, I knew she was a loner and a hothead right away. So. Yeah. It’s a mix.

8. If you could only write one for the rest of your life - smut, angst, or fluff - what would you choose?

Probably fluff? I need joy.

9. What trope do you love to include in your writing?

I like characters who are protective of each other (it’s not a gendered thing--I like protective women as well as protective men). I like hurt/comfort a LOT. I like touch-starved characters easing themselves back into the throes of intimacy with partners who are patient. I like secret relationships. Fake relationships. Sorry this is multiple tropes I just realized the question didn’t include the plural lmfao

10. Do you write original works in additional to fandom works?

Yes? Theoretically? Lol. I have original stories that I work on from time to time. It used to be all I wrote. I wrote and published original stories before I got here. I miss it sometimes, but to be honest, the transition from fanfiction to original work is not simple. It’s very complicated. That’s not because fanfiction is easier. It’s because it’s a different genre. It’s an entirely different rhetorical situation. The conventions do not match up. Despite the common purpose of “storytelling,” the way you get there is another animal and it takes time and focus to make the change. If I make the change it will most likely be a longterm change.

11. What author’s style do you admire the most?

Probably Hemingway. I love a lot of different styles, but his particular brand of minimalism is, I think, the most taut and the most stylistically interesting to me.

I’ll tag @morgan-arthur @pikapeppa @a-shakespearean-in-paris @ellstersmash @idrelle-miocovani @thevikingwoman @bearly-tolerable @gentle-outlaw @goldenentertainment @jarbaje and @nyoom-bum. Your questions are under the cut <3

What is your favorite character from a video game and why?

When you look back at your middle/junior high school years, what is the first album, band, or musical act that comes to mind?

What makes you nostalgic?

What is your biggest pet peeve when it comes to tumblr, fandom, and/or publishing at AO3?

Describe the place where you are from in three sentences.

Which fandom(s) are you most active in right now? What is your current favorite ship from that fandom?

Where/to whom do you turn when you seek wisdom? 

Do you like sports? If you do, what’s your favorite sport to watch and/or play?

Have you ever been to Las Vegas?

What is your guilty pleasure TV show and why?

Do you believe in ghosts?

[ltjlily17]

Oh, can we call it a night?

What’s the most played song on your iPod? I don’t iPod anymore these days, but theres a site that will aggregate your Spotify listening, and the song I’ve listened to the most all time on Spotify is In Your Atmosphere by John Mayer. What is one quality you admire most in others? People who know what they want to do with themselves. What would you do with a million dollars? Invest it, maybe? Buy a new car. Start a non-profit that will save the world. Or just a small part of it. What’s your favorite song to dance to? All of them. What would your ideal birthday party be like?

No idea.This year I went to my favorite pizza place with a couple of friends, my mom and husband. Was pretty good.

If you could be reincarnated into anything you wanted, what would it be? I’m not sure I believe in any of that. What talent would you like to have? I wish I was ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC at something. I’m good at most things, and can get by, but I’m not outstanding at any singular thing.  Are you ticklish? Nah. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep? 3 days or so. I basically had the flu and felt like I was dying. Not like the real flu either, theres this illness you get when your body hasn’t slept in too long. What New Year’s resolutions did you make? None. What are three songs that mean the most to you? Mayonaise by the Smashing Pumpkins, Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton and Bornand Raised by John Mayer. Someone else used these italics and I’m just running with it.

Who is the one person you miss the most? No one? What do you think of your parents? They are flawed people. I make the best out of my relationship with my mom, but I’m just not sure I want to bother with my dad. What is one thing you would do to make the world better? Instill a sense of community. People would be so much better off if we all gave a shit about the other people we are on this planet with. What is your favorite kind of sandwich? Hot, cheesy, some kind of sauce. Other than that, I’m flexible. If you had a puppy, what would you name it? I got a puppy 2 years ago and his name is Finn. We wanted a Star Wars name and Supreme Leader was the runner up name. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? I can’t think of anything I’d wanna see. What people do behind closed doors is their business lol. How much cash do you have on you right now? None. I’m in pjs, but beyond that, I rarely use cash. What do you think makes you attractive to other people? Humor or personality? Would more money make you happier? I don’t know. We have a comfortable amount now, minus paying for healthcare. Steve may have a job offer that would cover the healthcare, but would I be happy not working? Would I just turn into a loser slug? What is one of your favorite memories as a child? I really don’t know. My parents pretty much screamed and threw things all the time until my dad moved out. Then they played horrible games with me in the middle. There’s a lot of stuff I don’t even remember about being a child. I’d say the good stuff started happening when I was a teen and could seek refuge in my friends and their stable houses. I had one friend in particular, Andrew, whose mom and dad were super nice and he had a fun little sister- every time I was over there, which was VERY often, it was like a slice of the good life. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in your life? This was on another survey and I didn’t know how to answer it. I think once it’s done I just move on, I’m really a dweller. How do you measure intelligence? Unsure. I guess you just get a feeling for someones intelligence as you’re interacting with them.

What cartoons do you watch? None at the moment. I did just get Disney+, so that may change, but there aren’t really any cartoons I’m planning on watching. Have you ever used drugs? Nope. If you were a Skittle, what flavor would it be? The purple one. Sleeper hit. How would you describe your style? Hmmm. Casual indie bohemian with a side of lazy fat person. If you had to spend $1,000 in one hour, how would you spend it? The internet. Generally, my money goes to clothes or Halloween decorations. I really wanna buy some regular decor for the house though, so maybe that. What’s your favorite smell and why? I don’t have one. Something not flowery or overbearing. Something fresh and natural. Where do you buy your clothes? Anthropologie, ModCloth, Target, Gap, Old Navy, Loft. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Birthday cake? Funfetti? Does intelligent life exist elsewhere in the universe? I have absolutely no idea. I used to think that it was just statistically impossible that there wasn’t, but fuck I don’t even know how any of this got here, so I no longer have an opinion. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? MilkBar birthday cake. Are you into tattoos? I guess so? I like the art of them, I follow a lot of tattoo people on instagram and keep up with their work. I just got my first tattoo a week ago and I’m 35, so it’s not like something I do a lot, ha ha. Do you like photography? I do. I have illusions that I’m a photographer sometimes. I should be currently editing a wedding right now, but here I am. I’m just not sure I’ll ever be the kind of photographer I’d like to be, so I don’t know what I wanna do with it going forward. If you were a holiday, which one would you be? Halloween 100% Do you have any siblings? Nope. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be of? I just got one. It’s a bat pusheen. I really wanted a bat of some sort and pusheen is my favorite so I just went for it. I always thought my bat tattoo would be a little more dark, but it is what it is lol. What’s the biggest celebrity you’ve ever seen in real life? I hid behind a dumpster when I was like 14 and 3 of the Backstreet Noys walked right by me, ha ha. I have some photos with me and the guys from Good Charlotte from when I was a wee teenybopper. How many pushups can you do? Absolutely zero. What person in history do you admire most? None? I don’t think I admire anyone. These surveys are quickly informing me that I don’t believe in anything or look up to anyone. Am I inert? Who is your favorite actor? I don’t have one. Ha ha, see above. I like most of the stuff Chris Pratt is in. Robery Downey Jr as Iron Man is iconic, but I’ve never seen any of his other movies. I like Adam Driver in Girls and Star Wars. What is the most daring thing that you have done in public? Spoke. Have you ever lied about your age? I don’t think I’ve ever had cause to. Have you ever cried while watching a movie? If so, what movie? For sure. Everything makes me tear up in my old age. Last movie was probably Endgame, though. Are you afraid of anything that most people are not afraid of? Not like huge, life changing fears, but I’m always afraid a bug will get caught in my hair and I can’t touch drains because they freak me out. Where do you see yourself five years from now? I’ve never been one to make plans. Hopefully happy with more direction. What is your favorite candy? Fun Dip, Nerds, Starburst. Have you ever watched someone struggle with addiction? Not someone suer close, but there are lots of auxillary people I know that have and do. Who do you look up to for your style? No one in particular. I see things on the internet I like and try to incorporate that, but its always varied sources. Who is your favorite sports team? I don’t follow sports. How often do you drink alcohol? Once every two weeks? Even then, its usually just one drink with dinner. I don’t much care about drinking. It seems like a lot of work to fill myself up with something I don’t really like the taste of just so I can potentially feel bad later.  What is your life in three words? Evolving yet bland. If you could be anything in the world, what would you be? I knew that, I’d be working towards it. Would you have a pet dragon? If so what color would it be? Sure. Whatever color dragon is fine with me. What’s your favorite sport? The only one I even kind of pretend to care about is baseball. Do you believe that homeless people are dangerous? No.  If you could be skinny and miserable or fat and happy, which would you be? I’d always pick happy. If your life flashed before you, what do you wish you would have done? Hmmm, I don’t know. I don’t have like any huge regret at the moment so probably just wish I’d have enjoyed myself more. If you were to invent something, what would it be? Hopefully something that makes the world better. Some kind of climate change related thing?  Who would you like to get to know better? This wholesaler real estate guy that has been selling us properties. Maybe if we knew him better, he would give us better deals, lol. Have you ever had a near-death experience? Near drowning when I was seven. Do you fear death? Yep.  What is the strangest food you ever ate? Hmmm. I like food with interesting combinations. Like smelly cheese or beet pesto or something, but I’m not on board with weird meat and I don’t eat seafood. Do you think you’re cool? Nah. What reality show would you like to be on? None. I don’t watch any of them. The only show like that I ever watched was the Osbournes, ah aha. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? Whatever is gluten free. Ususally no choices for me at most chinese places. PF Changs has pad thai and general tsos I can have and another place nearby has general tsos too, but thats about it.

I loved lo mein and crab rangoon in my former life, though. Are you happy with your life? For the most part. If you could name your own planet, what would you call it? I’d need some plantary details before coming up with a name. If you could live another 200 years. What would you hope to see? People learning that we need to work together. Would you rather be hot or cold? Well, I’m cold like 90% of the time and that sucks, but at least you can do something about it and layer up and get blankets and such- if you’re hot, you’re just stuck. How would you rate yourself? What am I rating here? I’m like a 0 at makeup skills, but like an 11 if you need someone to pick you up in an emergency. 10 at playlist making. 1 at doing the dishes. Would you ever move to a different country in an attempt to start over? Maybe not to “start over”, but I would definitely consider a dream job in another country if all the details worked out. If you could be a character from any book, who would you be? No idea. I read a lot of Stephen King and none of those characters are alright.  Do you prefer taking baths or showers? I’d love to take a bath, but I’m a little big for the tub. Do you still collect toys from Happy Meals? Nope. I never ate happy meals even as a kid, so I never did. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? I drove two states over for a sandwich once. It was like a 15 hour round trip. In your opinion what is the greatest challenge the world faces today? People being willing to fuck over every one else if they think it will benefit them in any tiny, miniscule way. You are destroying everything by being an asshole and letting the people that really have all the money get away with it. Do you like dogs or cats better? I was 100% cat until I got a dog 2 years ago. I’m mostly dog at this point. Don’t tell my cat. What have you achieved that you once thought was impossible? Hmm, I don’t know. I’m a lot better off than my parents were. I just kind of thought the constant worrying about the car breaking down or the bills being paid was grown up life, so its nice to get here and know that I worked hard to not have those problems. If an ex texted you out of the blue, how would you respond? I don’t think I would. I’ve been with Steven for a decade, so theres def nothing that needs to be said to anyone that far back. Do you have a favorite poet? I don’t. I really like some poems I’ve read randomly in my internet travels, but I’ve never really been able to sit down and read a book of poetry. What have you tried to quit, but weren’t able to? Eating too much food? Would you rather go on a shopping spree with $200 or put it in the bank? I’d rather go shopping. I might save it, though. What was the last rumor that you heard? No idea. I don’t really have rumors around me at this point in my life. My friends aren’t like that and I’m not working anywhere at the moment. What country star would you most like to meet and why? I don’t really know who any of them are. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. One of them happened when I was like 15 and it pinched a nerve in my neck and half of my left hand went numb. My mom didn’t believe me for a really long time that there was something wrong until she watched me try to pick up a glass of milk with my left hand and it just fell to the floor. Are you an organ donor? Yes! What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done? Unsure. I’m fairly adventurous, but I don’t do super dangerous things. I guess just trespassing in old abandoned buildings when I was younger could have been dangerous. What is the meaning of life? Moments of joy. For you and others. What word do you like the sound of? Nothing in particular jumps out to me. Isn’t Cellar Door supposed to be lovely? What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Hmmm. I don’t know. Its more about the brand I think. I usually get Jeni’s or the other fancy ice cream brand when I get the chance. 

I always get the cake flavored froyo, though.  Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? Cupcakes. Are you an athlete? Ha ha, no. What did the last text message on your phone say? From my brother in law. He’s doing the work on the house we just bought, getting it ready for a renter. He wants more money, lol. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen in your whole entire lifetime? Man, I don’t know. I think maybe Grandma’s Boy was the funniest I had seen at the time. I usually don’t even like movies like that. What’s the worst nightmare you’ve ever had? I had this dream when I was a kid that I left the scissors out and they flew up and cut my moms fingers off and the whole dream was dark and black and white because it was night, but at the end, she picked up the phone (landline, because cell phones weren’t a thing then) and the only color was the green light coming from the phone that illuminated the numbers and she was trying to dial 911 with her fingers that weren’t there. 

I probably had that dream close to 30 years ago now and it’s still clear in my mind. 

What do you know how to cook? Lots of things. I’m especially good at carbonara or alfredo. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had, and what was it from? I fell down the stairs and broke several bones, severely sprained both ankles and ended up getting surgery to fix the cartilage in one ankle. What’s your favorite amusement park ride? Any that my fat ass can fit on. What do you wish you were doing right now? Well i’m doing this instead of things I should be doing. Who are your musical influences? I don’t play music, so I’m not really influenced? What was your favorite band or musician when you were 12? The Smashing Pumpkins, Bush, Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson and the Back Street Boys, ha ha. What’s the best pick-up line that’s ever been tried on you? I don’t think anyone has ever given me one. How many drinks can you handle? I don’t really know at this point. Getting older changes things. I know that if I have one drink and then stop, I get a headache, lol. What was the longest phone conversation you’ve ever had? Hours and hours. Like 7 or 8 probably? Back in my day you could only talk to boys on the phone because we didn’t have cell phones or text messaging and you only had dial up internet. What’s your favorite candle scent? I got one from Anthropologie called Riviera that was my favorite candle scent ever. I bought two, but they are sold out now and I am very sad.