#sometimes its fine bc its like well i was inspired by this thing i actually experienced or how i live my life

[recallback-art]

Day 19: Inspiration! Wanted to do someone else or something else, but had really bad brain disease and wanted to bang out a super easy pic.

While the Shibuya gang take more cues from other places of inspiration, Lucero's jinx form was visually inspired by Chainsaw Man before I got into the series, so here's a Chainsaw Shark.

Bonus Oren and Pochita. He's not CSM inspired, I just wanted to draw a little guy and a danger puppy for fun :)

[thewhumpcaretaker]

HENLLOO ✨️💖

I have this idea for some time, and it's something I wanna write one day, BUT I think you'd really like this idea bc it's hurt/comfort and Santino at the beach! I'm curious about your thoughts or if it's inspiring yk 👀

Santino having a wound, that's not fully healed, or not healed at all and he wants to go to the sea to feel that salt kinda "bite" his wound, he wants to feel that pain because he thinks he deserves it or whatever other reason.

John tried to talk him out of it just because he knew it would hurt, but then again, sea water could help the wound heal faster. So, John insists for Santino's own safety that he goes with him. And eventually Santino agrees. Of course it hurt and burned, it's salt on the wound and Santino maybe thought it would be easier but it hurt a lot.

Santino wants to make himself suffer even more 😞

AAAAAAAA this one cut DEEP for me!! Your asks are so good lately (well, always, but especially this one). It's so dark but honestly this is a topic that I love to write about and I think it says a lot about Santino and what he's going through. What a brutal scenario, Santino is really suffering. But John is there to make sure he's safe and build up his self-esteem, as always.

Also, as a note: the ocean is not recommended as a source of salt water to put on a wound even if it does help sometimes, because there's bacteria in the ocean! So don't try this at home.

🖤💙Salt in the Wound💙🖤

TW: self harm via salt water, attempted self harm via breaking and punching things, blaming himself for abuse, concerns over potential suicidal behavior (there is none actually attempted), Dead Dove Do Not Eat

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“I am not leaving you alone like this!”

The bedroom was wrecked in every way that wouldn’t be permanent. Pillows and blankets thrown around the room, the desk overturned, even the curtains torn down. John had stepped in to stop Santino from tearing up his own poetry, but he’d let him flip the chair and splinter its legs against the floor. And why was all of this happening? Because Santino had been punished by a High Table emissary. The Adjudicator and company had approached them in the middle of the Continental lobby, informed Santino that he had broken some inscrutable rule John didn’t even know about, and then slashed him across the gut in front of the whole room of people.

After the wound was patched up he had just sort of…gone quiet. It was obvious he blamed himself. He brooded all the rest of the day, until finally John pressed him about what was wrong and he exploded.

“Fuck off, John! Get your hands off of me!” He had Santino’s arms pinned behind his back so he wouldn’t punch the walls. Reluctantly, he let go, and just as he’d expected, Santino lunged towards the wall. John was too fast and put himself in front of Santino’s fist before he could make contact. Santino stopped short, flushing even harder at the frustration of having to restrain himself in that state.

“Get out of my way.”

“No.”

Santino stared at him for a long moment, his jaw set hatefully. Then he turned to walk out.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Through clenched teeth, “The beach.”

Their home was only a short walk from the ocean, and in this mood, Santino could make it there in five minutes. Horrifying scenarios flashed through John’s mind, of Santino walking out into the ocean and never coming back. His heart did a sickening sort of drop. “Why?”

Santino whirled back to him with his chin in the air, the picture of passive aggression and mock innocence. “Salt water is good for healing wounds. You want me to take care of myself so badly? Fine. Maybe I want to go for a swim.”

“That will burn like hell.”

“GOOD. But it’s healthy, so you can’t stop me.”

John practically growled in frustration. He couldn’t argue with that. He just grabbed his coat. “I’m coming with you.”

“You’re not invited.”

“I don’t care. I’m going to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

Santino’s scowl softened for a fraction of a second, replaced by something miserable and touched. But then he just growled back, grabbed his swim trunks, and marched out the door without another word.

They were silent on the walk to the beach, with the sun sinking down against the waves in reds and oranges as fiery as Santino’s expression. John began to hope that he’d cool down by the time they got there, but he had no such luck. Santino stripped down immediately and threw his clothes in John’s face. He would have laughed at the pettiness of it if he didn’t know how much pain was raging inside of Santino right now. So he just caught them and folded them neatly over his arm so they wouldn’t get covered with sand. Then he crossed his arms and watched from the edge of the water.

With his shirt off, and then his dressing thrown to the ground as well, John could see the red blooming across the slash on Santino’s side. The wound wasn’t deep at all, but it looked awful. It was long – an arc from the top of his ribcage on the right side to below the navel on the left. And it was still bleeding.

Santino took a first step into the water and already flinched. The evening wind was picking up and it was ice cold. “Maybe you should do this tomorrow,” John suggested. “Like noon? When it’s warmer?”

The very idea of sparing himself any pain seemed to just make Santino even more furious. He only turned back long enough to glare at John and then suddenly dashed forward, until the waves were up to his stomach.

Based on the sound he made, it couldn’t have felt good. It was a kind of yelping scream that he bit off with a long stream of swearing in Italian. John frowned hard. He knew what that felt like – he’d been in the ocean after a job before, by necessity, and it stung something awful. But all he could do was watch helplessly. At least Santino was standing still now, and seemed to be reconsidering. He even took a few steps back until the cut was mostly above the water line again.

But irritation with his own weakness seemed to give him a second wind. He plunged back in, up to his chest this time, and screamed again. This time, John couldn’t tell if it was pain or frustration or self-hatred, because it gave out into sobbing. He was crying so badly that John was worried he was going to double over into the waves. “That’s enough. I’m coming out.” He kicked off his shoes and trousers, set down their things, and waded into the frigid water.

He wasn’t sure if Santino heard him or not, because he didn’t move at all until John’s arms were around him.

“Come on, love. Let’s go back to shore, yeah?”

“No. I-I deserve this.” Santino didn’t hug him back. He just stood there shivering terribly.

“Why?”

“Because I fucked up! They had to punish me. And I’m so angry, John. I’m so angry, and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t even be angry at them. I just have to play nice because I’m powerless and it’s all my fault.”

“No you don’t. You’re allowed to hate them. You don’t have to hate yourself.” He realized they weren’t just talking about The Adjudicator, but about everyone who had hurt Santino. Especially those who he didn’t couldn’t bring himself to hate. His own father. The water swirling around their bodies was deathly cold and John felt himself starting to shake too, but he ignored it and held Santino as close as he could.

For a second, Santino cried harder against him, but it seemed to bring some kind of cathartic release. Finally, he went calm and hugged John back. He seemed drained. “Okay. This hurts too fucking much anyway. Cazzo, I didn’t expect it to be this bad.” His heart was still racing against John’s chest, probably from sheer pain.

“Yeah…I’m not surprised. Let’s go get the salt out, I brought stuff to take care of it so it doesn't hurt as much on the walk home.”

So Santino allowed himself to be led back to shore. John wrapped him in a towel and poured a fresh water bottle over the cut to rinse it. That stung too, and he was already back to whining about the pain, but John didn’t mind. As long as Santino didn’t want to make himself suffer. He kissed him hard. “You didn’t deserve that.”

He melted into the kiss and stayed curled up against his lover, trying to regain some body heat, but he couldn’t bring himself to reply.

“You didn’t, Santino. They did this to you because they’re on a power trip. Because the whole organization runs by making people feel trapped and small, and it pisses me off.”

His answer was slow and very quiet. “Honestly…I don’t want that to be true. If that’s true, then I have to do something about it.”

“Yeah.” John wove his fingers through Santino’s curls and studied his face. He was so precious, so fierce, so full of life. A world in which a person like Santino could be hurt over and over again until he wanted to hurt himself too wasn’t one that John could stand for. “We have to do something about it.”

[ezrazone]

your portraits are really amazing and i find your ability to capture likeness + control of value super inspiring…do you think you can talk about your thought process and beginning stages behind your drawings?

yes yippee!!!!!!! these asks helped me remember to actually photograph some process steps which i usually.... Dont do bc im using my phone for reference images lol (my work setup is in a "transitional phase" rn....... im working in the kitchen. its fine) i downloaded one of these lestat gifs made by @fearwakes ! then first thing i've been doing recently with portraits is lifting something that works from my comics process and applying it to these pencil drawings. i love having borders. i almost invariably will draw outside them but it gives me something to build on top of/inside/around rather than floating to the edges of the page. i used to be really envious of people who could spontaneously produce "sketch pages" from blank sheets but my spatial eye just does not generate those pleasing distances automatically. i need boxes lol GOOD THING I DO COMICS!!!!!

i did not actually measure this box or even make sure it's straight bc i'm just turning my brain off and doing a portrait. ok step one of capturing a likeness is just eyeballing distances for facial features. like i mentioned before with spatial reasoning it's a weak point for me as an artist so i do not give myself a hard time if i cannot immediately correctly guess the distance between a subject's chin and hairline. i start with shorter distances -- chin to mouth, mouth to under-nose-shadow, then often fill in either cheek before i take a shot at laying the eyes in relation to the nose. i'm always thinking of my pencil portraits as a kind of heatmap for dark/light values, so i'm laying down the scaffolding that's going to allow me to emphasize where all those shapes ultimately bleed together as a 3D object.

there is always a stage (left drawing) where i'm kind of peripherally going oh my god. oh my god i lost it. i can't draw faces anymore. this looks like fucking garbage. oh my god. i need to kill myself. and i think it's partly just being a human person like the demons never completely shut up for anyone as far as i know LOL. but it's also sometimes coming from thinking i'm supposed to be simplifying the shapes. like if i took those guesstimates on lestat's proportions on the left and just went right to representing his features with solid black ink on top of these guidelines, it's true, he wouldn't really look like lestat even if the proportions are alright. it's important for me to remember that my sketches look very different depending on my medium and priority; if i was ONLY representing lestat in exaggerated shapes, lol, i might actually..... exaggerate those shapes. this is a sketch that is gonna work best as the preliminary stage for a fully rendered pencil drawing, not a line drawing. i just don't think drawing a subject precisely how he actually looks is gonna get you the best results for cartooning and striking that balance is a whole other thought. but for straight portraiture with an eye for value like this, it's perfectly fucking fine, cuz the thing that's gonna make him Look Like Lestat is actually how light connects over this 3D object.

like ok i no longer want to kill myself. i have successfully guessed the distances between his features "well enough" and tricked the eye into seeing something Lestat Shaped because enough of those shadows connect in ways they 1) do in this particular reference image and 2) just Do on his face in general from my broader observations of this face. this particular portrait is building on all my previous understandings of how sam reid's face is put together. so i'm able to correct a lot of the assumptions i made before i drew him enough times to start figuring him out. like Ok, his forehead is always taller than i think it is and his nose is broader (esp his nostrils). the lack of buccal fat is essential but he can also start looking too gaunt if his jaw is not wide enough. his mouth is made up of so many complex and delicate shapes and is imo his most prominent feature lol i never quite feel like i've fully captured it and idk if i ever will bc the thing that makes it so lestat is the way it actually moves. and just from Character Knowledge i'm always inclined to emphasize how heavy lestat's under-eyes are, i feel like that's an essential emotional component of his expression. sooooo i am satisfied enough with this sketch lol. this took around 45 minutes which is longer than some of my portraits of similar detail-level bc i was distracted by on-and-off sexting. many such cases. more thoughts re: pencil on paper. the next bump up from this has gotta be going BACK IN with white oil paints which i just do not care enough about this drawing to do. but when i'm working with pencil i really know the only highlights im gonna be able to bring out are the ones with much darker areas surrounding them, and the bits i miraculously do not smudge by total accident (i'm a serial smudger. fat hand. someone's gotta be endeared to this). anyway i fucking love white oils. they are everything i previously wanted out of, like, white-out and white jelly roll pens lol. it can do so much and when you're working with paint you simply have so much of it. paint rocks. like in this portrait there are a bunch of blond flyaway hairs that i simply cannot capture at this distance by carving out "blank space" either bc i do not have the skill or space to make the strands not look wildly overblown. but if i wanted to go in with paint, i'd darken up the background and just delicately go over strands until they glowed. portraiture like this is a very meditative process to me lol. i'm just falling into an image i feel is representative of something abt a face i like looking at. simple as. i do not have a concrete strategy for where my pencil goes next most of the time when i'm just feeling out shadows and translating them into pencil pressure. i know i don't wanna do the VERY darkest areas first just bc that makes the portrait pretty inflexible if i lay something down wrong (happens often) or the aforementioned smudging problem.

anyway i should probably scan this lestat but like i said i'm working in my kitchen and im disabled and do not want to walk upstairs LOL. imagine this example portrait looks good and not bad. very good

[amethystfairy1]

hi I'm back again already lol, bc u really ought to know all the great things about ttsbc that I was too lazy to write out last time lmao.

Also! totally fine that ur not doing skizzpulse, you should write what inspires/motivates you (personally very motivated by them xD I've written ~90k words of skizzpulse myself rip)

Anyways, good things! You! you're the good things! I honestly can't remember when I last sent an ask in for the lil guys, so I'm just gonna say something I loved about each of their recent arcs.

First, Treebark. There's been so many identity reveals but I think this has been my favorite thus far. Ren going all protective boyfriend and fighting over Martyn was SO GOOD, plus soft kisses and they can just hold hands now without Ren being afraid he'll figure it out. Also loved Martyn seducing his entire family while being terrified out of his mind by big dog people with knives, like, I'd be a little out of it too. but the fam doesn't even notice but Ren did and is all supportive and comforts him, offers to take him home. I love how well they can read each other, like they're just in tune. they're soulmates, your honor. and, AND this means we can have double dates where they all know now! so excited :)))))

Zedango. this is what started me reading your stuff (the first fic I ever wrote was actually my own tt zedango ficlet, btw. that feels like an eternity ago now) I love how they've simultaneously progressed and devolved into slightly unhealthy relationship territory. something about not everything being perfect all the time just adds so much depth and realism to their relationship, as well as keeping the plot tense without feeling like you're making up problems just to have something to write about. AND THEN Tango doing the blazeborn courtship rituals was just so aaaaaaaa (THEY"RE SO ADORBSABLEEE) Tango setting aside his disgust with his claws to take care of Zed even tho its uncomfortable for him, and then Zed recognizing that and having all the warm fuzzy fondness for his bf was so sweet. Doc's notes about the rituals were on point, with how he reassures Tango that they're normal, healthy things and saying he's always open to having a conversation about it. (tho, i doubt Tango's ever taken him up on that offer lmao)

The other fic that's been in my head is ur most recent one, Handshakes and Headaches. I highly doubt we'll get a cub reveal in this next chapter, but ig we'll see soon enough. I loved how Cub just knew instantly that Grian was a hybrid and was just going in spirals putting it together that he was cuteguy, then him coming to the wrong conclusion about whether Scar knew, too, was just perfect. Tho, if he did think Scar knew and was cool with it, I wonder what he'd do first? Tell Scar his own secret, guess Grian's secret in front of them? I feel like he would think the safe thing would be to confront Scar about Grian being Cuteguy, and then if/when Scar admits it and says he's cool with it, Cub would feel safe(r) revealing his own identity. Maybe not right away, but sometime. Also, that would mean everyone in Hot Cave knows about hybrids and undercity, so he wouldn't have to glamor while he works (tho, that would also require revealing to Zed... they don't seem super close, but it's kinda obvious that Zed's chill w/ the undercity people, considering he's dating Tango and Cub knows that).

Also! now that Hypno knows G and Scar are safe, I really wanna see him revealing to Scar and Scar being all supportive and stuff :)))) Hypno wasn't someone I knew I needed in this world, but I'd die for him now. (ALSO the casual mention that his scales are dry and flaky rather than smooth and taken care of??? Hello?????? Someone get him some proper self-care ASAP, maybe take him swimming at a private pool or something idk. I feel like the moment Scar knows, he's going to be on it with the cookies and love and support. so excited hehehe)

anyways, I'm probably forgetting something, but whatever. I'll be back with more art soon (maybe I draw Hypno, since I've never done that before and electric eel hybrid sounds cool. Actually, I've decided, I'm gonna do it now. remind me what that looks like pls? or I go reread, whichever happens faster lol)

Ok that's all, have a good day!

I LOVE THE RAMBLESSSSS

Petition to get Hypno a private pool 😆

I'm so glad you love the slightly unhealthy but also very loving Zedango situation we have going on!

I LOVED YOUR TT ZEDANGO FIC! I'M STILL WAITING FOR THE SEQUEL!!!! 😭 /j you don't have to write one if you don't wanna BUT KNOW THAT I LOVED IT!

Ren being a protective boyfriend is all I need sometimes! It's just good fun! Thank you so much for telling all about everything!!!

I would actually LOVE to see how you would design Hypno if you do feel like drawing him! That sounds amazing! Electric Eel hybrid time!!!! 💖

[lunadreamscaper]

VT/P.I.E. Headcanon list!!

This is all my personal takes and opinions, I guess also are canon in my “au”/spin off.

If there’s any you like from this you can take inspiration or adopt any of these if you like them I will not mind <3

But if you don’t like some of these (which is fine bc you don’t have to), please be kind, especially since some of these are based off/inspired by personal experiences as well as some of my Headmates experiences (that I got permission to use as headcanons 🙏🏻) I just hope people won’t find some of these upsetting? I don’t think they are upsetting but sometimes difference of opinions can be distressing so I understand 🫂

Anyways here goes:

Toast and Ghost have a queer platonic relationship (this one might be a hot take but also we need more rep like this Imo 🙏🏻)

The Level 25 demon from Spooker’s debut video is the one that turned Ghost into the Puppet. (And was probably the one who put those FNAF ghosts in Swift Taylor’s house lol)

Another lvl 25 demon one: I like to think it pulled “a Bipper” (Gravity Falls reference yes) and used Spooker’s body, that’s why you see Spooker as a “ghost” but then later on was normal/living again. Also why we see Spooker in the dimension where Housekeeper is trapped and later towards the end of the Puppet arc in the crypt where Ghost sees him. (Also watch the Haunted by Pennywise video 😭) I don’t think the demon lives in Spooker’s body like how people think demon!Jimmy does though.

Speaking of Jimmy, he’s a very traumatized alter (I’m a system in case anyone is concerned by that 😭🙏🏻 )

Ghost has some supernatural abilities? And is sensitive to dimensional shifts that happen (which happens a lot considering how unstable their world is) as well as understanding lower level paranormal entities, and sometimes visions of specific events (reference to Spooker’s debut video and “Johnny Ghost meets Freddy the dinosaur” video) and a few others that Jimmy also takes advantage of. Also dreams. He gets weird dreams sometimes.

Gavin Toast speaks in an American Accent sometimes, originally to separate himself from his twin.

I’ve already mentioned Ghost being intersex and demisexual I think but still adding it.

Dark Pit’s disappearance after joining P.I.E. In its early days has something to with Darth Calculus…

Ghost had a fear of umbrellas as a kid.

The Lvl 25 Demon and Stardust Sprinkleshine are a divorced couple/hsrs

Toast paid Josh to keep an eye on Ghost during his retirement arc (reference to my comic Heart Attack xD)

Timothy Casket and Chakalata Soup may have been business partners… before ending in disagreement.

Gavin maybe an Acalacam experiment that was only found out later by Darth Calculus (Gavin and Johnny T.’s father never learning that it actually sort of worked.)

Toast’s mother hates Ghost, except nowadays tries to hire people to kill him so he stops spending time with her son but ofc he keeps coming back like a damn revenant lmao

Spooker and Colon are boyfriends (sorry this is a ship but like they literally kissed in the 5 yr anniversary stream and I dreamt about it so I have to acknowledge it)

Spooker did used to have a crush on boyfailure Johnny Ghost though

The reason the VT world is so scuffed and has so many dimensions is bc they all live in the shattered remnants of a broken world.

My fan comic Supernatural Crossover, and Sherlock crossover on wattpad are technically canon to my spin off (except for the Gravity Falls one that one is retconned but fun fact Timothy Casket is in that one and I’m reusing the ideas from it for other things)

Timothy Casket totally wasn’t a serial killer and also totally didn’t get his kid(s) involved traumatizing them and changing the course of their lives forever.

Ghost has a twin brother but that’s mostly for Strive SMP shenanigans

Cardboard Friend is made up of many souls of children that possessed a cardboard toy creation made by Gregory…

There’s a cult out there somewhere with significant importance.

Johnny Ghost also has lead poisoning and some other issues bc of the old mansion’s condition (the one from the first Cardboard Friend video)

Johnny Ghost is also really pale because Cardboard Friend ate off his life force and sanity but got away probably in the Nick of time probably bc of some permanent effects?? (probably why that video made no fucking sense bc it was from Ghost/Gregory’s perspective)

It’s actually really traumatizing to separate twins from each other while they’re young. So if you take into consideration that Johnny Toast and Gavin were probably not allowed to interact and Ghost being separated from his twin too, that makes Ghost and Toast two twinless twins that trauma bonded to each other which is probably why they have a lot of separation issues.

Colon is a witchcraft practitioner (reference to “Moving didn’t go as Johnny planned” video)

I also used to believe Colon is a retired undercover cop or detective but also like ACAB and I barely remember why I came up with that so idk if I’ll keep it but I definitely need more Colon headcanons

Josh is also hired to babysit Woah for Spooker and Colon from time to time :3

Josh also makes really good pumpkin pie (since she was a pumpkin farmer) Ghost also really likes this pie.

Also Spooker is trans and pan while Colon is gay (these ones are special bc it was from a dream)

I’ll also add the universally accepted hc that Toast is bisexual (and demiromantic??)

Josh is also bi and polyamorous (maybe a demi girl but not sure yet)

Ghost is on the Spectrum, (most of pie probably is but the one I’m confident on is Ghost at least)

Sometimes paranormal entities can sort of fuse and/or mesh together to sometimes become stronger (but can separate… sometimes) *cough cough the paranormal tornado cough cough and CBF cough cough*

And lastly Ghost is 5’4, Toast is 6’6, Spooker is 5’7, and Colon is 6’1 (Gavin is the same height as J. Toast and Josh is either 5’3 or 5’5 I haven’t decided yet 😭)

Okay I’m gonna stop there for now but if I remember anything that’s important to me I’ll add them in like a reblog to this post.

Sorry it’s so long! Also had to keep some of these vague to avoid… spoilers ig?

If you’re curious about any of these tho feel free to ask and I can talk more about ‘em!! :3 <3

Maybe I’ll share some more Acachalla related headcanons but not today

[justabackroundcharacter]

Thoughts while watching Wish:

- base princess personality trope

- Never getting over the face that the goat is named Valentino

- 7 dwarfs vibes with the friends

- Hans type character

- Weird ass love song to wishes

- Evil Chris Pratt went from 1-100 really fast

- The wife was 1000000% the kings wish and he used magic to get it

- Angry guy is played by GIZMO MY BELOVED

- 100 year old man move like a 60 year old fr

- Asha also goes from 50-100 real fast

- My favorite song was a little disappointing:(

- What she’s singing and what the animation gives dosent match

- Wifey is CLUELESS

- We could’ve had A STAR BOY INSTEAD WE GET THIS THING

- Star is still cute

- When you are a Star and accidentally make a devils trap in the tree lol

- IM A STAR ⭐️

- thanks for not eating me John

- Throwing books like your cramming for a test

- King is bipolar like actually tho

- EVERYTHING IS FINE

- What are you five ?

- DANCING CHICKENS

- Best friends help each other commit crimes against the kingdom

- King really is evil he made everyone go to an assembly and they aren’t even in school

- WAIT WAS KING SUPPOSED TO BE AN ALIEN

- how old is the king ? Do we know at all ?

- Casually dooms yourself to an eternity of pain because you got insecure

- HE HAS A SECRET LAIR LIKE HAWKMOTH

- ok how do wishes work again ? Was gramps not free to still inspire people

- Not the mom pleading for her daughter to only get her wish trampled on (definitely don’t need to look at how accurate that is)

- Star said SQUARE TF UP

- He’s literally just your king hit him with your bookshelf

- Returns to your stable if anyone asks pLaY dUmB

- when you have to speed run the 5 stages of grief bc you are the main character damnit

- I know what your thinking- WELL I DONT girl that star doesn’t have an expression on his face

- I can not swim *proceeds to jump into the water with reckless abandon *

- You’ve been hit by, you’ve been stuck by LOSS OF YOUR WISH

- ‘AMYIA darling your just in time come meet my new TOY’ why would you WRITE IT LIKE THAT

- Hot take anyone who calls their partner darling is on THIN FUCKING ICE

- King man went insane that is fun

- HANS KNOCK OFF BETRAYED THEM I FUCKING KNEW IT

- Dont worry im a talking mouse but very clean

- When you only want to be a loyal knight but you end up betraying your friends- happens to the best of us dude

- Good find Valentino - my butt found it

- introverts deserve sanctuary— louder for the people in the back

- STRIKE, STRIKE newsies vibes

- YES fulfill your Sabos wish

- doc and dopey slayed

- They all did

- They are like any queer friend group fr

- the chase scene is cool

- YAZ QUEEN GET YOUR HUSBAND

- I was fooled by the love I felt- Its ok queen you were definitely manipulated not your fault

- Don’t destroy never land you bastard

- A stick ? What am I supposed to do with this ?

- The MUSHROOMS 🍄

- Poor gizmo can’t catch a break no matter what universe he’s in

- a dress on a tree more likely than you think

- Dude bro dear got into the mushrooms fr

- Sometimes a plan is just you and your six friends jumping from a high place

- FUCKING HANS GOT ME AGAIN

- thanks John

- Your so right bunnies are terrifying

- Nope nope nope nope nope

- StAr GeT aWaY fRoM tHeRe

- WAIT IS HE MAGIC MIRRIR GUY

- Yay singing again

- THE power of collective singing will always save the day

- GREEN SMOKE

- MyWiShEs dude get a grip

- Simon and queen should be besties now

- LONG LIVE THE QUEEN

- Peter Pan origin story 👀👀

- ZOOTOPIA ?!?

- bippty boppty boo the magic wand is fixed

- Give GIZMO THE WAND 😭he deserves it

- Fireworks yay

- 5/10 movie

[yan-lorkai]

Tips for someone who wants to start their writing blog? 👉👈

Helllllllllllo darling! (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ~

-- First of all:

Sometimes you're going to write a lot and sometimes you won't even want to open your drafts because you'll be tired from it. And that's ok, always know your pace or else you're going overwhelm yourself wanting to write everything. Also don't ever delete your drafts, yes, even the ones you don't want to write anymore. Ideas and concepts can be reused later!

-- Grammar!

I'm not yet fluent in english so sometimes I write with the dictionary open in another tab lol, thing is this is very important. To better your grammar you can practice writing drabble and prompts, you don't even have to post it if you don't like it. I also recommend to read a lot as reading works to inspire you and to analyse how different every writer writes. Like, I love writing dialogues so sometimes I have a hard time writing descriptions bcs I can't focus on them. When this happens I just skip it and put a () for when I'm proofreading to edit it.

Though commiting little errors are common and totally fine, darling! You're allowed to commit them. Don't ever "omg, there's so many typos on my fics people must hate them and me" or smth, is normal to make typos actually :)

-- Rules

It's your blog, darling. You have the final say on every matter. Don't ever feel pressured to write something just because people ask you to. Though be prepared because sometimes people won't read it so you have to be patient. Put the rules on somewhere visible, change their color, PUT THEM ON ALL CAPS!

Be very specific. Like, what fandoms do you write for? How many characters can people send in? What are you comfortable writing and what are you willing to try? Is there something that you won't tolerate being sent in your inbox? Things like that!

-- Ramble, share, talk

Let us hear what you have to say. Your ideas, even if they seem silly to you, are very interesting to the audience. Also let your followers to connect and interact with you <- I say this as if I wasn't so shy and awkard that eveytime I want to share sometimes I'm hit with ah well nobody will care anyway. This is the devil speaking, do not the same I do, darling!

-- Aesthetic and tags

I like this part hehe. As I said, this is your blog darling. It's almost like your second home. And people like their home being pretty and comfy. So try making your blog look like that! Choose an aesthetic, a character or something that speaks to you. And don't be afraid to change.

Also about tags. Everyone has its own. Tag everything: fics, characters, fandoms! They're so important, darling, you can search for them on your blog later and a tagged fic has a higher chance of showing up in the main feed. Besides it'll be easier for people to navigate through your blog (also make a masterlist, yes, even if it's a hassle to maintain it).

-- Don't be afraid

Writing is hard, is true. Motivation can come and go, sometimes time won't allign it with your want to write, y'know just mundane things. If you have writer block then don't force yourself to write, you won't like it what you read when you're done and if you feel afraid to write something new then do it afraid. Do it afraid even if it's bad, do it afraid because otherwise you won't do it. Though if is something you don't know about then please search about it and talk with other people.

-- Have fun

The whole purpose of writing is to have fun. Do not anyone spoil your fun, babe. Have fun, laugh and cry writing, make friends along the way. If a story is loved by its writer then certainly everyone will feel it and love it just as much as love! :)

Hope this all helps. If you still have any questions then ask away and I'II try my best answering it!

[strawbubbysugar]

Hi there, I have a few questions!

-What is the name of Matt’s shop? Any details on what it kinda looks like/where it is in town?

-Also I’m guessing the house and shop are in Stewart, Minnesota, right? The little town of like ~500 people?

-What is the house/property layout that Bryn’s family gave to Matt? Who has which bedrooms, do they all have a similar schedule and eat breakfast together or anything? Do Wibble and Cammie help out around the house?

-Do Hello and Goodbye try to have approximately equal time controlling the body? What times do they have?

-Are there any “traditions” that June, Hello, and Goodbye have, like Taco Tuesday or Sunday Movie Night or Friday Game Night or anything like that?

-Does June interact with customers at the shop, or is that mostly a Matt thing? Does the shop do well in town, or is it kinda hard to stay afloat?

-Out of everyone living in the house, does anyone have any kind of allergy?

-Does June ever go out into town for fun in his free time, or does he mostly stay in cuz it’s hard to hide Hello and Goodbye in public?

Thank you!!

havent decided yet!! But I Imagine itd be in the next (bigger) town over, like a half hour drive, since there would be more people to actually be able to make enough money to survive

the loose inspiration is stewart, BC actually! :D Canada! but funnily enough yes the same amount of people!

havent decided much about it yet besides the fact that its a bigger house but very old, so lots of repairs are needed. Bryn is very uncomfortable around hello/goodbye at first so june/hello/goodbye stay on the other side of the house. Wibble and Cammie have their own shared room & yes they do help around the house! Cammie has found she enjoys folding laundry (warm, kitty tendencies) and Wibble likes sweeping (witch with her broom teehee)!

approximately equal time, but they no longer portion it out. if hello wants a turn he gets it, if goodbye wants one he gets it. I imagine its a lot more fluid now than it was before, with both of them able to take control of one part of the body to do things. ie) Hello is in control, and goodbye uses an arm to wave to someone passing by or grab something he wants to look at. If they get into an argument, June got them to start doing rock paper scissors to see who gets a turn. Goodbye tends to win more often (hello just wont stop picking scissors)

Oh absolutely. June was an only child and he is so excited to have a big family all under one roof. He and bryn are def the ones organizing a lot of that kind of stuff

June is the one interacting with customers, since matt isnt much of a people person. the shop struggled at first until they got enough good reviews that people started coming to them more often, now its doing fine! Not super super well, but livable! Bryn is a dentist so her income is def helping, and june does odd jobs on the side as well. Hello keeps begging to open a daycare (with june also begging) but its a firm no from matt. too risky.

Matt is allergic to pollen, and Piper has a bad peanut allergy

He does! While all 3 of them are a bit clingy, june is trying very hard to not spend all of his time at home. He takes trips to the nearby other towns to go to the mall, grab lunch, just hang out etc. Sometimes he'll take one of the animatronics, but only ever in the winter when theyre able to hide them easier. Other times if the animatronics are getting antsy june will facetime them while hes out so they can see. Cammie especially though is very bitter about needing to remain hidden, same with hello (though hello is more whiny about it rather than mad) - bonus: June really likes taking piper on "field trips" to the park, and piper brings the robots the little presents she finds (rocks, leaves etc. Goodbye has a collection of everything shes ever given him) - astro cadet is Piper's BEST friend

[nuancefem]

something they don't tell you about being a writer (literally my gender identity at this point /s) is that you can be pregnant

with, like, story ideas and characters and concepts.

they become your kids/pets and you gotta tamagochi lvl them up before they can be fully formed and ready to be published

but the thing is it's so easy to be neglectful bc you're easily distracted and maybe have a touch of the 'tism or the adhd or are just very reluctant person when it comes to doing tasks. disgusted by tasks. so sometimes the ideas/characters/concepts you were harboring end up being unfed neopets. and it's not horrible like how tamagochis just fucking die, it's not that bad, but it's still like seeing your neopet be in a miserable mood bc of you. and you're like... damn kiddo. i'm sowwy. i'm so bad at being consistent. y'know, we're like that with ourselves too, self-neglect. the thing is, you can always pick it up again. you can always start treating yourself well and feeding your muse & hobbies. your muse will be annoyed but you'll patch things up real healthily and actually realize all your wacky story ideas

maybe we all need to shamelessly become eccentric writers

maybe it's okay to neglect your writing ideas maybe you can parent ideas the way that shitty men do it. be your own muse's deadbeat dad. it's fine. you can just focus on yourself and then pick it up again in a few years when you're bored and got nothing to do.

beat up your shame abt never writing but still identifying as a writer

writerkin

just fucking write honestly. even after years

do weed maybe

relax

pick your creative hobby up again. it's like a stray dog, but like one of those proud strays in cartoon movies. so it'll just do its own thing when you're busy with stuff or weren't in the mood for it. and it'll come back for food and attention. i think we need to make sure to constantly feed our inspirations like hungry furbies. you start feeling upset and restless if you don't write for weeks and weeks. writing is like one of the needs bars your sim was born with. the lovely hobbies meter. except writing can be even more than a hobby, it can be a whole ass career even if it's not profitable. if we hadn't felt so ashamed of ourselves, if we didn't carry the burden of shame about how long it's been since we did a thing, and tormented ourselves about it and ruined our moods, how much would we have written by now? how many books? comics? smutty fics? essays? thinkpieces?

goddess knows i would've written a terrible amount...

whatever. picks myself up by my armpits. let's go do it now kiddo. over time i'll learn more discipline. it's only getting easier and easier

[pumpkinsy0]

Tim Shepard (Tv series) Head Cannons

🟦 ▅ ▆ ▇ █ 🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷█ ▇ ▆ ▅ 🟦

This is if you seen the Tv show or not its fine :P

***he really is a good artist (DID YOU SEE THE DRAWING OF CALIFORNIA HE DID LOL,,,,,HE EVEN GAVE IT TO PONY HOW SWEET OF HIM😭🙏🏻)***

🟦 ▅ ▆ ▇ █ 🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷█ ▇ ▆ ▅ 🟦

***I wanna see what you come up wit! I LOVE YOUR HCS THERE AMAZING! AND INTERESTING YOU MAKE ME LIKE THE CHARACTERS MORE JUST BY THE HCS LOL***

But take your time!! NO RUSH THANK YOU🙏🏻♥

🟦 ▅ ▆ ▇ █ 🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷█ ▇ ▆ ▅ 🟦

Sorry to ask this! Its just over seen the show and in my opinion i was a great show I loved it! I LOVES IT EVEN MORE CAUSE OF TIM. HE REALLY IS MY FAVE!🙏🏻😭 (IM OBSESSED WITH HIM! NOT IN A WEIRD WAY GOD NO😭) I KIN WITH HIM SO MUCH I RELATE WIT HIM SO MUCH🙏🏻🙏🏻😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Also your my favorite "OUTSIDERS" fanpage! Your my favorite person! (Love'ya :D )

🟦 ▅ ▆ ▇ █ 🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷█ ▇ ▆ ▅ 🟦

i havent seen the show in a while so what i remember is rusty and i dont think tim was rlly there a bunch so i only have like 3 hcs im srry BUT to make up for it i will go into depth about them kinda sorta, and by hcs i mean aspects of his character i liked in the show and just went “yea thats tim im including that in my tim most definitely” but i do have like 2 hcs

•hes a good artist

loved this part of his character in the show, i feel like he was one of those kids who would doodle on like desk n stuff like that, and maybe he was one of those kids who was into graffiti and he just liked designing things but had no real outlet, sometimes at night when he cant sleep or somethin or hes thinking of like idk gang stuff he draws cause it helps clear his mind, he also just thinks its funny to draw a lot of weiners, hes still a teen hes a lil immature, but i also hc that his artistic abilities kinda inspired angela and curly as well and they become artist in their own right

•hes close to pony

OK LOOK I LOVE THIS AS A FOIL RELATIONSHIP TO DARRY AND CURLY ITS GREAT, but HOW did they get close??? most likely after johnny and dallys deaths, pony spends more time w curly which means more time at curlys house which means seeing tim a lot more as well, at first tim would just pop in and go like “do yall want somethin to eat” and ofc pony was afraid at first but l as time went on, they just kinda clicked, maybe over art, bc each other using creativity as an outlet, or something or bc tim was like “o he is a bit fucked up actually” and took him under his wing

•hes somewhat involved w the curtis gang

mostly based off that one rumble episode, BUT i hc that after dallys death, tim became not close but definitely not a stranger to the curtis gang, he doesnt rlly hang out w them or anything like that, but he does see them quite a bit and talks to them, and especially teams up w them when they need it, think of tim as what dally was to the gang, the guy who came n went but was down w them, but in his own “yall cool but i got a gang to lead so ill help darry a bit when it comes to handlin yall” way if that makes any lick of sense

BUT FOR ACTUAL HCS OF MINE

•i hc that angela and curly werent there bc they were off w their grandma, y u ask??? man idk they love their grandma i guess who r we to judge

•perhaps it was around that time that angela and curly was gone that tim started getting closer to pony cause he kinda missed up and wanted someone to look after, he just got that “damn i need to b a guardian to a fucked up kid or else im gonna go insane my damn self” thing goin on and pony was there so

•i said it before but idc ill say it again, tims art is influenced by haitian art, maybe not like the style exactly, but the idea of it being vibrant, black ppl being shown using the actual color black, yknow that thing

•tim mostly draws ppl and landscapes, maybe he goes out of his way and draws like anatomy stuff wether its normal things or like horror

•he would never actually show his drawings to anyone, he rlly only shows pony it cause he knows pony wont judge, ofc angela and curly knows and have seen it but thats bc theyre nosey and poke around his things, he knows about it but they havent said anything so it’s whatever

thats all i could think of mb</33

and thank u im glad my acc beings some sorta joy, luv ya 2 anon🙏🏽🙏🏽

[lightyakami]

weird writing asks 8, 11, & 29?

hello!!! thank you!! :D these are really fun questions.

8. if you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

hands-down no dialogue. i love stories without dialogue!! it feels like putting together a very tiny puzzle.

i have actually done this several times to imo varying degrees of success! my dialogue-free death note stories are beetles, 14:40 and equations. animal games originally had no dialogue but it made the whole thing feel too muddy so i ended up adding some in. it started off with exclusively indirect speech & that’s probably how i’d handle it if i tried to write a dialogue-free story of that length, which i would very much like to do. it seems like a fun challenge!

11. do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” are you a ruthless darling assassin? what happens to the darlings you murder? do you have a darling graveyard? do you grieve?

oh omg sorry i have so many opinions on this. 

i feel like the principle behind kill your darlings (remove things if they don’t contribute to the story) is fine, but it almost always gets taught as ‘cut anything you are attached to,’ which imo is truly terrible advice. sometimes you’re attached to things because they’re good! it’s part of this whole mode of thinking where anything one enjoys writing is somehow pretentious and embarrassing. i genuinely think that this is one of the most toxic parts of writing culture(tm) and plays into the frustratingly prevalent idea that the process of writing has to be boring and painful if it’s going to result in anything good. 

even in its best possible application, though, i think it’s geared primarily towards american modernism? i love american modernism, but it’s definitely not the only genre out there. imo fanfiction should really be considered its own literary genre with its own stylistic conventions & those conventions include playfulness, earnestness and asides that don’t have much purpose other than being interesting in and of themselves. imo fic is best when it’s got some rough edges that would typically be polished out of mainstream/literary fiction. i could go on about this for ages dfgjgdfj but i’ll cut myself off here. 29. where do you draw your inspiration? what do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

i get most of my idea from trying to entertain myself while doing really mindless and boring tasks which is probably why i’m constantly writing about mundane things haha. also i listen to a slightly ridiculous quantity of podcasts & i feel they often spark things!

honestly i never really have the issue of running out of ideas bc i have a backlog of like, 17 years worth of things i want to write dhdhhd. whenever i’m like, oh i want to write about something but i don’t know what, i just nab something off the list. procrastination pays off if you let it ferment long enough gfjkgdkjg. when i first started writing dn fic, though, i ran into this a lot & i got a lot of ideas by asking friends what they wanted to read about or from those livejournal prompt memes which sadly don’t really seem to exist anymore (although please please please correct me if i’m wrong)

weird writing asks

[revasserium]

as a response to this ask: https://revasserium.tumblr.com/post/729580466551799808/but-in-the-meantime-i-love-love-love-childhood

(omg sorry this is so messy ahahah)

i get what you mean about reading being one of the biggest inspirations for writing. whenever i'm in a writing slump, i just pull out a fanfic or a book and i'll suddenly feel the urge to write again XD

and our planning process is surprisingly rather similar? i still like planning bc i like to be specific for foreshadowing and symbolism, but i agree that the story is sometimes... a thing of its own. i'll plan for things to be this way and while writing it just gets snatched out of my hands to become it's own things. it's struggle for me i suppose there's a lot of back and forth: i like my plans, but i can't deny that the story just wants to go elsewhere.

i also normally always start at the start of the story! just like you, i have the words play out in my head word for word, but i normally don't pen down these thoughts because i feel they're not refined. i will repeat them though, and when i sit down i use them as reference or a guide on the angle of my story. it's really nice to compare and see similarities in writing processes! i guess the charm of your work is the story's flow, and that is from how you write unrestrained by a plan. i like that style! >:3c

-- @anonymilk

in response to this ask: https://www.tumblr.com/revasserium/732542620437463040/how-have-you-been-anonymilk i’m doing fine!! i have gotten busier because of work. the most festive the holiday season, the more work for me :/ hahaha. but it’s been good!! although i might not have lots of energy to keep track of replies and reply myself, i do enjoy seeing u on my dash uwu this is soooo overdue, but how was your travels? did you mention where you went? are u comfortable sharing? i would love to travel… but it costs a lot too so :’) gotta work more first ahahahh. — @anonymilk !

cutting for length! :)

i wish i could still write like i used to -- and a part of me thinks i can, bc if i rly tried to force myself, i could just pick a rando prompt and like... write it. but the thing is -- i've got so little mental energy left after most days at work that i can barely work on the fics i DO wanna write u know?

and it's strange bc for the first time in my life, i feel my work literally impeding upon the things i like to do to a degree that im like ??? bruh wut.

not to the point where i'm tryna quit, bc like work pays, and it pays decently well, and for all i complain about it, i actually do love what i do u__u and that's rare enough as it is. but yeah, i really do wish it weren't so mentally taxing so i could have a bit more energy to write.

but yes! :) it's always nice to find someone who has a similar-ish writing process!!! to be like yEAH OMG!!! I DO THAT TOO! :D

now!! for the travel q!! i went to australia and new zealand, about a week in each, and it was so, so lovely!!!! it was so breathtakingly beautiful -- like truly, i didn't know the sky could be that blue or the water could be that clear.

and the wedding that we went to attend was beautiful -- there was drama (bc isn't there always) but it was nothing compared to all the good things that happened :). i was just so fucking tired after i got back LOL i needed vacay from my vacay ukno????

next year, i promised myself that i would travel more for myself, bc this year, i ended up traveling for a bunch of different weddings and engagements, and not !!! that i don't love that and am super happy for my friends!!! but like. it's different traveling for JUST urself vs traveling for someone else's wedding/engagement, ykno? so yeah u__u i think im gonna plan a trip to italy w/ my bf, and maybe one to japan with my mom :D we'll see!!!!

[ritzcuit]

klavier is such aaaaa. ? character. i cant place it. i don't like him HELP Ok it's like

canon klavier- i don't like him (joking) (i do actually like him kind of but he inspires a rage inside of me that was my entire inspiration for writing daryan) (he makes me feel unhinged in a bad way) (i understand ema intimately) (His guitars are like ... his lovers.) (worst character ever i hope he dies)

fanon klavier though i just dont like him. like a lot of ppl just suckkkk at doing anything fun with him. Which tbh so does canon. but idk. And it's fanon so can it be wrong? and canon is SO ............ about klavier that i cant even say any of it is wrong from that angle. but it's so. ummm. Like when ppl make him a genuine slut or something im like ....? Huh? Huh? or theyre like. Yasss my glitterfemme lipstick klavier. Like huh? okay. i mean. it's allowed. insofar as im not the cops. But like it's a different world you're living in and i hope you know that@#($@(#$

but then i only care about klavier as a prop to explore daryan, like a crazy backwards person who is very lost, so i'm not like. Better. and even then i do like his canon bitchiness ... his diva. Idk i know canonically he's a diva glimmerous fop but i think, MAYBE,

it's because canon klav is like very obviously feigning Probably 100% of it and when ppl just portray it as like...How he seriously is.............IDK UGH THERE'S A DISCREPCANCY THERE AND YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE ME. But no one's wrong. Obviously. ive just been thinking abt it.

cus klavier pisses me off and i do NOTTTT like him but he's fun and such a funny character to play with and capcom flopped with him so it's a free space. but it's only abt half the time that i see ppl actually do anything. otherwise they just want a ken doll bimbo. and it's like. Well that's fine but you know he's a cop righ#)(@#$(@#$LIKE HE RUNS A COP BAND ABOUT THE LAW LIKE HE;S A LOSER LIKE HE'S A STICKLER. THAT OLD ASS COMIC WHERE HE BUSTS A CLUB FOR DRUG DEALS IS THE REALEST ANYONE EVER GOT IT. BTW

Like i like it when klavier is very obviously like, consciously trying to be different from kristoph but it's really only in tone more or less, like he's a perfectionist control freak sometimes bc that's what he Knows more or less and he's a very insecure unstable "faking it so fucking hard" character that its like. it's fun! it can be fun!!!!! a klavier who is almost entirely composed of things he learned from kristoph vs daryan and also a touch of his own self, somewhere in there, and it's a mess and it's fun and it can be Fun. like he is a good person. it's a good person trying very hard to Perform Goodness and that's fun......

i wish capcom did that LOL HELP. WHATEVER where's daryan idc about klavier enough to type all this about him

[raccoon0001]

November 20th, Monday 20:38

So, first of all, hello, Im Raccoon, well at least i would like to be one. Im 17 years old and i frequently write down my thoughts when i feel sad or angry in a pink notebook by my bed, for the past four maybe three years.

And lately i have been thinking of just trying to write down my thoughts everyday, about how i feel, to know what i am even feeling, and that I'm not just overwhelmed and impulsive at the moment. So i don't ruin my next week or day by obsessing over that one boy that smiled that one time at me or was funny. Because in reality he doesn't like me and i need to step down and realise that, but maybe he does and everything is not a big fat lie, but it is. At least for me, mostly. Everything, almost, everything is fine in my life, except for being kinda fat and not having a real, single boyfriend in my 17 years of living. I know that is not that much and what i am even worrying about, because i have the whole life ahead of me(i dont see myself living past 20). Well could kind of imagine it, but because of one thing and another i always thought i would not live past 18, but now i am 17 so its quite possible i will live past 18, dont really know what will happen afterwards.

Its kind of a dilemma i know to love someone u need to first love yourself and shit, but i really hate myself most of the time, i hate how i look, i hate how lazy i am, i hate stressful i am, i hate how sick i am...yada yada yada. I know there are physical things i am able to fix, but how do i know i just wont regress? Even now im imagining how this blog or whatever this is, is gonna get popular, and be turned into inspiration for poems or people, but after all this text is just my personal feelings, about myself, for myself, that dont really make sense sometimes, because my native language is not english lol and im typing in a hurry and then gonna prob put a pretty background or something and post it if i get the courage, well its a very big probability nobody is going to read this ever, bcs lets honest who reads blogs these days..

always the artist never the muse" i have been very attached to this quote(dont know who is the author) i even begun last year attending professional art school, so i will probably never be the muse even how much i want to be one. Its almost the same with taking pictures, im always taking pictures of others and there are almost never anyone taking picture of me without asking. Well i dont really like people specially taking pictures of me, because of how ugly i look, but still, i dont know. Theres this one friend who takes pictures of me, because that of other things that that person does makes me think im gay or that she likes me, because shes gay. I think im not gay. Like i would prefer a guy fucking my brains out not a girl, but i could never imagine anyone fucking me, mby i can.. hmm not rly, maybe because i have never been fucked, or my imagination is kinda weak. Well i am in art school so i thought it should be good, but lately, well after that thing in 2018 april, I think i have been in this one giant art block. Maybe i need to go to a therapist, to sort things out, not really sure.

I wish sometimes i was a boy. And i think i stink right now, fully emotionally and physically. Whats up with that.

I must have too many dreams and too little motivation.

I dont think i should have continued art, its too much, im not even good at painting, if i actually started practicing more maybe i would, but i think im still worse than most of my peers. And in this school there are mostly girls here and i know almost nobody outside the school and town bcs i didnt even live here two years ago, the ppl who have lived here their whole childhood dont even know where to turn to get a shortcut!

My goal this evening was to paint something, but somehow i started writing a blog..

I think i should have been better of dying that day in 2018. Im not good of a person and i dont really know if ill ever change. What does actually happen after death? Has anyone thought of that? I kind of think after you die its just all pitch black and then u suddenly open your eyes and there you are as your first memory u can think of at 10 years old or whatever, like 'snap' and there you are, but dont know who you were or who you will be. I kind of want to get into biology, but idk if a have the commitment for it.

Two days ago when i was a home visiting my family, after sauna, I was sitting by the table with some other cousins at my grandmas house and one of the older cousins, who was kinda drunk btw, asked me if i had a boyfriend, i thinking already of crying and just jumping down a building calmly said: "no, do i need one?". i want one.

I think my mom is homophobic, but. i also think that im not gay, but i will probably never get a bf, because ppl these days are very obsessed by how other ppl look from the outside mostly or i just dont know a lot of ppl and real life is not like the movies or manga that i read in my free time, that i should stop reading, maybe that would solve everything.

Also by wishing that i was a male, because it really seems to be bit easier to be a boy, how the world looks at you, and how theres a lot more chance of no rejection. Maybe im just living in my small minded world and have not that many ppl with different opinions on life that would make me understand that the world works differently. A lot of ppl around me also believe we are born to fulfil our one mission here on earth, i still dont see mine here, like ppl would be fine if i went and died and go on with they're life normally, because im just this one little spec of dust besides other 7 billion dust pieces, that separately are a nobody. Maybe my family would be devastated, but prob would be prepared for this kind of event about me and i think it would be much easier for my mum if i died, she worries too much about me.



Im just lonely.

A selfish bitch.

[baekhvuns]

HEEEEYYYY i am finally FREE from spring quarter EVERYONE CHEER !!! but then i am going to have summer classes starting from next monday so crying and laughing T^T so i hope you do not mind that i will talk about school rq

i just turned in my art final last thursday after i flew in to washington ... jfc i was going through it honestly ... the art final was like a "art history" final. i had to answer 43 questions for multiple choice, do 4 short answer prompts and then a whole essay like what is wrong with this professor ... mind you not, this class is an online, lower-division ge so like why am i putting my whole ass into this

also my ochem prof released grades for the class overall and let me tell you i seriously was gonna cry bc i was so scared if i was gonna pass the class or not ... but ... I GOT A C yk what i am fine with that bc i did horrible on two exams (below avg) and pretty decent on the other (above avg) ... but i feel disappointed that i have been getting Cs on my chem classes so far :( but i think i will be getting my first ever A in the bio class tho !!! which is like kinda bad but i am proud of myself at the same time :")

ok now ... we talk about exo and ateez hehehe (the most important stuff duh) honestly speaking ... took me like 3 listens to fully get bouncy, like i was ok with it on the first listen but yk what i mean? like you just need to listen to it more in order to fully get it ... i also really like this album, like i am so excited to be getting the albums in store when i go back to california YEAAHHH but my faves are dune, django and wake up !!! wbu bff ??? exo is making me CRY with let me in and the fact that they are gonna release ANOTHER mv is crazy like ... ik 2018-2021 me would be CRYING bc exo didn't release that much group stuff back then :(( but i am so happy that they are having a comeback like i need to prepare myself ... i just KNOW i will be SOBBING when i watch the last mv as their like "title track"

anyways i hope you are doing well bff <3 i sometimes read your works whenever i need a pick me up (or i just wanna cry ahem the one inspired my moon lovers i will forever be scarred) and that you are taking care of yourself !!! love ya lots :D

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HELLO !!!! AAAAAA wait omg ur spring quarter just ended??? i thought it was the summer one 😭😭😭

no bc i DONT GET WHAT ART HISTORY PROFESSORS PROBLEMS ARE I HAD THIS EXACT EXAM AND I FLUNKED IT WHFJQHDKWSH & iTS ONLINE???? 🤨🤨

u know what getting a C is underrated relief, like what matters is that we made it 🫡 A & B are overrated grades atp,,, BUT LESSGOOO??? U MADE IT !!!!! it’s not sad that it’s ur first one!! it’s so hard to get A’s in uni and like for what im still waiting for mine but i know that A looks so good on ur transcript 🫡 u should be proud!!!!! u did great!!

i get what you mean completely,, i also don’t mind it now?? like the slow it down make it bouncy is the only part that’s stuck in my mind, it’s a nice song but it has its moments! the album is nice! i just wish ateez do different genres bc this one felt like a guerrilla album dupe to me 😭😭😭 OOO OKAY MY FAVOURITE IS OUTLAW BC THAT BEAT IS NAASSTYY

EXO LAND FINALLY GETTING THE THINGS WE DESERVE????? let me in was so good, their vocals is what was missing 😭😭 AND ANOTHER MV AND ANOTHER MAIN MV FOR THE CB??? 19 VERSIONS OF A GOD DAMN ALBUM???? hoping the sales for it actually goes to the members 😭😭

i hope you’re doing well tooo!!! hope u have time to rest after ur semester <333 AND 😭😭😭😭 UR STILL READING MY FICS THANK U SO MUCH FOR THAT SCREAMING I LOVE U FBWKDJWK

[hwanswerland]

hello! rbing this to reply bc i fear i might get long and its not like im doing anything on this blog these days except share my unsolicited opinion on ateez related things lmao.

first of all idk what i was on when i sent that ask because i might not hate work, the song and the album, i certainly wasn't impressed by it and i don't think any of the songs made it into my playlist 😭 basically what you said "im worried theyre exhausted, not physically but their inspiration well." and "im worried that this is not a matter of "being genius creative tanks" but the need to be able to stay afloat in the trend, in the industry" yeah. that's exactly what i fear too, and also the inspiration of kq's creative department. although i have to say, the two concepts for gh pt 2 look promising so far to me. now they better be related to the actual album/tt/mv haha 🥲

apart from what seems to be a popular opinion on twtatiny, that one is not allowed to criticise their concept/music/etc, i think as a fan one is very much allowed to do that, otherwise it's just blind worship with no constructive feedback and literally what good has that done anyone ever? lmao. as you said, i won't gaslight myself into liking things that i don't. i'm allowed to be disappointed in the turn their creativity and quality seems (to me) to be negative, and since the internet is a place of free speech i can share this opinion if i want to. that being said, i REALLY hope gh pt 1 was a one off low effort comeback, and that they listened to feedback, and put some more thoughts into the following ones. i want so badly to be actually in the fandom again, not just lurking on the sidelines, knowing that the next album(s) are going to either make me come back or turn me away to casual fan at best.

i'm with you in only listening instead of expecting anything. i'm happy ateez and their lore provided comfort for you when you needed it, and i'm sorry that idk. corporate greed, capitalism and the commodification of everything got in the way of that now. 💀 because yeah it's like...where IS the lore now? idk, sometimes it feels like you can connect some dots (the loretinys, not me bc idk shit lol), but also are there really dots to be connected these days or is everyone searching for clues where there are none (that are intended by the creator) like some crazy conspiracy theorists? if that makes sense 😖

i'm dong alright currently, and the cold is fine but the days getting shorter and darker is just not it 😭 hope you're doing good too, whatever may be going on in your life rn ♥️

hello! I saw we are talking about kq and their rushed schedule for ateez and well if that isn't something I always want to rant (a bit) about. I have to admit though I've never been much into the lore. My first cb with them was fever pt 2, so I can't comment on things before then, but somehow it felt to me like they were putting quality over quantity then? ESPECIALLY compared to the work/golden hour 1 cb. I'm sorry but that was so rushed and kinda generic, the concept pics had nothing to do with the mv, the mv was fun but extremely random after the vibe the concept pics set, the outfits were generic, the background even more so, and why were there 27 pic per member. Fireworks had 1 pic per member per version (minus diary), and I'm biased bc it was my first cb and arguably the best hwa concept pic ever to be released, but that had IMPACT. It felt like they had a vision and then that was more than "hot men in suits/slutty clothes". and then the promo shows, I don't think they recycled an outfit even once, and overall it just seemed like everything had a bit more time to breathe? Pretty sure salary lupin was on at the time, but not 5000 other things all ot once. Sure covid was still a thing then, but why do they need a tour, a Korean cb, a Japanese cb, some random collab, and god knows what other things all at the same time? that's too much for them, but also for us as fans. Sorry I really disliked the work comeback because of everything that wasn't the music or ateez themselves and I really fucking hope that was a one off thing, and didn't set the standard for future cbs

HI FIO! forgive me for the super late reply 😭 i actually read briefly your msg and decided that this topic required more attention bcs i did have a super serious, lengthy talk with an atiny bff abt atz's creative direction lately and we shared the same idea. i just dont want to respond to your rant halfheartedly, thus.

And with the sneak peek of the next cb, I HIGHKEY THINK your little rant, just, hits too close to home 😔

OKAY, WHEW this gon be long. personally, what you felt about work cb (and the chilling, ominous vision of the future cbs' direction) is super valid. i feel the same thing too, except you're also very detail abt their outfits and concepts. sometimes i question myself if im being... too annoying about their music, esp work cb.

there's a reason i stop commenting [on their music] and it's bcs i don't want to appear... know-it-all, annoying, or other adjectives associated with these words. i got into the fandom just last year, i cant really say much, knowing im also not a certified music critic. but also i've been listening to them "blindly" since answer til halazia until i officially jumped in so, do i or do i not have the capacity to throw my opinion like this 😂

and even without looking at their visuals, to me, their music quality was already proven undoubtedly top notch, unique, quite ahead of their, well, competitors. had a little difficulty digesting the batshit futuristic instruments going behind their vocals at first (and the freaking remixes asksjkf) but overall, their songs always sound like they're crafted with heart and passion for the lore. for the journey. and im glad that they're not a headless worm going just anywhere with their music. or even worse, to achieve tiktok success. just like.... most artists... in the industry all over the world.

i think because i found them at the time i lost myself the most and their lore and storytelling have a certain goal to achieve. even if it's breaking the norms, even if you have to believe in yourself. i think i become so attached with the kids bcs of their bold music and even bolder message. you know,,, the psychological connection in this paragraph.

so, when they keep insisting that working during holidays are their choice, i just, sigh. knowing that a lot of fans would still defend them (esp twttiny bcs they always seem excited for the boys which is good but girlypops u dont have to gaslight urself if ur not liking it now). i dont even want to sugarcoat this anymore im worried that this is not a matter of "being genius creative tanks" but the need to be able to stay afloat in the trend, in the industry, cus theyre coming fr a relatively small company. and im really not sure how to feel abt that crying laughing rn. im worried theyre exhausted, not physically but their inspiration well.

i really wish they could engage in some other activity, or at least, brought wanteez back as the easy days. they dont have to be an all rounder really. just have fun in more original contents ig. not gonna touch the fashion weeks thingy cus im the least fashionable person in the clerb 😂

on the other side, foolish me to believe strongly and tell myself that kq would follow the lore, put the lore as the backbone of their creative direction for their music and expand from there. anything. music, short movies, random clips, visual diary, whatev. i didnt realize, they have the authority to bend the lore itself. like... what happened to, not sure, thunder, or halateez, in the latest diary log. if u felt that work was rushed, i agree. i am still confused til now tho i accepted that cb p well aljdlasjda

but yeah, i think i will stop expecting from now on and just listen. im too tired to analyze the lore, too tired to criticize and/or sugarcoat my opinion. if i like it, then i like it, if i don't then i don't. im open to discussion but i will definitely refrain from commenting. don't wanna spoil other people's fun ofc ofc. but this one we share fio, yeah i think i need to let out a little 😂 sorry this is getting a bit out of control fio. But like you said, hope that this is a one off thing too.

last but most importantly, i hope that you're doing great now, with whatever that's going on in your life. tis getting colder these days so take care, bestie 💚💚💚