#sometimes it results in both of us hitting up the grocery store on the way home lol

[clever-and-unique-name]

One thing I find very cute about our marriage is that whoever gets out of work first on Friday scrambles to do nice things for the other person before they get home. Make a fresh pot of coffee the way they like, get dinner situated, take care of house chores, little things like that. Domestic love. It's the little things <3

[sexygaywizard]

So as the person who created the Miku/Vriska poll and thus saw everyone's tags and comments about it I thought I would do a little write-up about it bc I thought that that it was pretty interesting.

A lot of people have accused me of rigging the poll (no idea how I would do this) or having biased followers-- however I did blaze the post specifically so that it would get outside my own circle of followers and thus be more fair.

For the first two or so hours of the poll, there was about a 60/30 Miku/Vriska split which was a lot heavier than I expected. After the blaze got approved (on the 3rd hour) the gap started to close, and the 4th and 5th hour were probably the closest it ever got, with the results at one point being 54/46, an 8 point lead for Miku. However, as the post started get more and more popular, around the time of it hitting 5k notes, Miku went back farther into the lead as the post spread around people farther and farther away from my own circle.

The poll ended at having around 6k notes (I was asleep so I'm not sure exactly, but I'm judging based on what it was when I fell asleep and when I woke up). The poll received 29,882 votes with 59% (~17,630 votes) for Miku and 41%(~12,251) for Vriska. For reference, the official poll run by @lutzlig for Vriska/Bayonetta that was happening at the same time received 33,249 votes and had around 5k notes at time of finishing. The Miku/Bayonetta poll where Miku lost 46% to 54% received 46,172 votes and had somewhere under 4k notes at time of finishing.

From what I saw in the tags and comments, the motivations for voting for either character were generally: • The character was more nostalgic to them (they had known of the character longer than the other one) • They felt the character had more personal influence on their life • They liked/identified with the character more • They liked/identified more strongly with the character's fandom

The reasons people voted for Vriska specifically were: • They felt her popularity/iconic-ness was more specific to Tumblr • They felt Homestuck/Vriska had a greater cultural impact on Tumblr • They felt Miku was a more recent occurrence in Tumblr culture • They felt that her level of controversy was more accurate to Tumblr's reputation and identity • They felt Miku didn't have a personality • They incorrectly identified the poll as a "sexywoman" poll and did not think Miku was sexy

The reasons people voted for Miku specifically were: • They felt she was overall more "iconic" and well-known worldwide • They recalled more specific memes about her (Miku at the grocery store, Thomas Jefferson Miku Binder, "Miku made Minecraft," etc) • Miku has an older internet presence • They did not know who Vriska was • They disliked Vriska as a character • They disliked Homestuck as a whole • They felt as if she had been wronged in the Bayonetta poll (sometimes specifically by Vriska fans sabotage)

Overall I felt the thing that had the strongest amount of impact on Miku winning the poll was simply that Miku was popular, well-liked, and well-known. I saw many tags of "I don't know who this grey bitch is" or "idk who that is but it's clearly homestuck and I hate homestuck" or even "I had heard of Vriska but this is the first time I've seen what she looks like-- so she clearly can't be that iconic." Whereas I got literally two comments out of the thousands of tags and comments that didn't know who Miku was. By virtue of Miku being basically whoever and whatever you want her to be, she's entirely uncontroversial. And well, any of us who've been here long enough know about vriskourse.

Personally I felt that they were both deserving in their own ways-- Miku was the tumblr woman we needed but Vriska is probably the tumblr woman we deserve.

[mariacallous]

I’m a sucker for almost any novelty food on the market. Pickle soda? You bet. Cotton candy grapes? Sign me up. Balsamic ice cream? I’ll take three scoops. So, last month, when I heard that Pringles was releasing an everything bagel flavor, I knew it was my duty to try and secure the snack. 

According to the Pringles website , the chip is supposed to have “flavor notes of sesame and poppy seeds followed by hints of cream cheese that perfectly blend with toasted onion and garlic.” Which, to my wrecked palate, is a pretty tame combination of flavors, especially given the everything bagel craze of the past few years (partially thanks to the Trader Joe’s seasoning that lets you make practically anything taste like a morning deli run).  

Since the snack was declared a limited edition item, I knew in order to test out the chips, time was of the essence. However, when I looked around at my local grocery store, there weren’t any everything bagel Pringles to be found. 

At first, I wasn’t too thrown off. After all, I live in New York, the bagel aficionado’s natural habitat — maybe they just sold out. 

To widen my search, I went to the official Pringles site where they have a handy function that tells you if a product is stocked in your area. But, as soon as I put in my search address, I got this crushing result: There was no product to be found. No chips anywhere near Brooklyn? An alleged Metropolitan area? It seemed too strange to me. 

I then asked my coworkers in Florida and New Jersey to try locating the chips near them, but no luck. I even messaged my friend on the West Coast to search for the chips in the carb-starved southern California area and we still drew a blank. 

How could this be? From Cuban sandwiches to Korean barbecue, I see a chip lover’s darkest and wildest fantasies populating the shelves daily. Are everything bagel Pringles really that in demand? Did some shadowy collector swipe all of them as soon as they hit the market in order to upsell, like an Eras Tour ticket? 

I began to feel defeated, unworthy of my self-proclaimed status of  “novelty chip sucker.” Then it occurred to me: What if this is all a hoax?

When looking up the chips online, almost zero reviews come up, just basic announcements of their supposed existence. On the Pringles site, there are actually only two customer reviews: one from a user named “Pringles Fan” and the other named “Popcorn” who both demand that we should “buy the chips immediately.” Sounds a little suspicious, no? If only we could, Popcorn!

I promise I’m not your everyday conspiracy theorist, but I’ll be honest, I’m at a loss. It just doesn’t feel right. Why would Pringles do this to us? Everything bagels have been enjoyed by New York Jews since the 80s. A bagel-flavored chip just isn’t clickbait-y enough to warrant the theatrics of a full fake marketing campaign. Or the scarcity supply-and-demand technique used on elusive popular products like the McRib. So what exactly is going on here?

I reached out to the big wigs at Pringles HQ directly about this debacle, and a customer service representative explained it this way: 

“This [product] was available for a limited time only. Special packs are very popular and sometimes stores run out of stock quickly.” 

 For now, I’ll guess I’ll just have to accept the fact that maybe me and everything bagel Pringles weren’t meant to meet. 

Like Bigfoot, the loch ness monster and the boogeyman, people can claim that these chips exist all they want. However, I’ll only believe it when I see it.

[thedaveandkimmershow]

The photo above was taken by our friend Dolly whose idea it was for all of us to scootch our feet close to the fire like this. Our moment around the campfire represents the end of Saturday, our last full day of adventure. The way it started, though, was something completely different from this little moment of community.

So to begin at the beginning...

Yesterday. Was lazy morning day.

Breakfast leftovers for me... and a haircut.

No joke. Kimmer took one look at the shaggy hair dangling down from under my hat over my forehead... and declared it to be hair cutting time.

Did not. See that coming.

As a result of Friday's travels, we're at Moro Campground now, overlooking Crystal Cove, and we're coming to grips with the fact that we don't have a hookup here so...

No power.

As in got no electricity.

So now there are the logistics of recharging our phones and laptops. Which is funny 'cause technically...

We're camping.

What can I say?

Call it the best of both worlds. 😉

Derek's got a solar panel, though, and it's charging a battery we can all tap.

Only our phones, though.

Because if we wanna charge our laptops, well...

That's gonna involve Starbucks.

Before we get to that, though, let's quickly review lazy morning day in which we take roughly four hours to accomplish what we normally get done in under an hour at home.

Yup.

We're taking everything, every minute of the morning in the slowest way possible because we are in no rush. We're not motivated to hit the gas. We can take our time. And we can choose to be distracted by nothing in particular. Sometimes several nothings.

We can take in the scenery. We can fully appreciate the view, the breeze, the sun, the Pacific Ocean, the horizon that travels forever, the sailboats lined up between the horizon and the shore.

And we do. We indulge all that. We allow Time to flow around us until, basically, it's one in the afternoon when, for no particular reason, no agenda to follow, we actually feel inclined to do something.

So finally we drive the mile to that Starbucks at Crystal Cove Shopping Center and camp there, inside, to power up my battery pack, charge up Kimmer's laptop, continue the business planning from the day before that delved into a lot of lessons we learned through professional experience over the years touching on multiple businesses, different leaderships, both good and bad decisions, and both sustainable and unsustainable courses of action.

Around this time, Kimmer also figures out our next day's logistics. I took a crack at it a coupla days earlier to no avail. With her laptop, though, Kimmer hits on something that's largely the reverse of what we've already done... with one addition.

What we're gonna do is... on the morning we leave camp, we're gonna drive straight to the Escape Campervan location in Inglewood to return Big Foot the campervan. After that, we Uber or Lyft to LAX to pick up the rental we'll need for maybe six hours. After that, we'll drive to SNA and check in our four largest bags. Then we drive to Irvine for the afternoon and, at the end of the afternoon, we drive back to SNA, turn in the car. BAM. Done.

By the time we wrap up business planning and travel planning, it's 330 and, after a quick bit of shopping at Trader Joe's, we head back to camp, only then realizing we forgot to pick up the ice we promised Derek.

So back at camp I drop off Kimmer, pick up the boys, and head down the Pacific Coast Highway on our way to Ralph's grocery store to score us some twenty pounds of crushed ice.

The ride down is chatty, believe it or not, covering reddit, acts of congress, q-anon, and learning hacks when your teacher's not making any sense to you. After the ice, we're back at camp around 430 to join Kimmer on a beach walk that involves a bunch of walking and even more taking of photographs. Because hey. There's a lot of nature down there along the shore, on the beach, and at the base of the cliff.

Five forty-five we're back at camp to keep an eye on Cookie the Chihuahua whilst Derek drives off to pick up close family friends.

Why?

Because we're gonna do another round of celebrating Kyle's upcoming birthday!

Whooohoooo!!!!!

The close family friends, Don & Dolly, arrive around 630 bearing a home cooked pasta dinner, red wine (for the adults), crackers 'n white fish and, of course, CAKE.

Delicious.

Chocolate.

Cake.

We have a fantastic time as conversations break out all over the place as day turns into evening turns into night. There's some catching up, right off the bat. There's some news of the day. Some topics about which we're individually passionate. And other random stuff progressing straight through dinner all the way to cake which means it's time for all of us to sing the Happy Birthday song followed by the other Happy Birthday song that goes

Happy happy birthday

From all of us to you

We wish it was our birthday

So we could party too

HEY!!!

The song involves thunderous clapping on the beat and a big finish.

So it really can get quite loud. 😁

After that, we all take chairs around the propane-fueled campfire. We're close enough that our feet are almost touching the fire so Dolly tells us to put our feet up close and she snaps a picture.

This one. Right here...

Afterward, I'm struck by the thought that, because it is cold outside tonight, we're all better off being closer to the fire together. We're better off sharing stories and opinions and personal history and just stuff. Random stuff. Family stuff. Health stuff. A little past, a lot of present. Even sometimes about the future.

And it's in this space, this tiny community, with human beings connected to each other through family and friendship, it's in this social space, this relational vibe where our pre-celebration ends, where our Saturday comes to its conclusion: around the campfire with well wishes and fare-thee-wells, and a deep conviction that this experience is good for the soul.

As the night comes to a close, fog continues to roll in from the ocean and I wander over to stand on a perch above the shore where I can see the fog's beginning to wrap around all the campfires along the cliff. In a way, instead of obscuring those fires, the fog serves to highlight, contour each family, each group of friends, huddled around their campfires. It places emphasis around all these little groups. These tiny communities.

And the flames that bring them warmth.

😊

[vannybarber]

The Prenup: Part Two

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part One

Walking down the isle, you grab everything that looks remotely pleasing in sight. After you left the house, you were just driving nowhere. Having to refill your tank because you wasted all the gas, the crackhead at the station kept singing Mambo Number 5 and it made you feel slightly better. Now you were in the convenience store spending your feelings away.

You get to the pain pills and grab some Aleve. Your head has been thumping for hours now. You see a pink box and knock a couple of those in the basket too just because they're pink. Whipping over to the candy isle, you grab multiple bags of Starburst jelly beans just to spite Chris because you know he loves them. Moments later, your basket it full and you head to the front.

Tipping the basket, you dump all the contents on the counter. The cashier gives you this look and you don't blame her. You had 3 bags of jellybeans, 5 random candy bars, 2 pink boxes you still can't read out, a blue Mountain Dew, a dog toy and some Doritos. Absolutely random. The cashier scans all the junk food, but when she gets to the pink boxes, she look up at you and at your left hand.

You're in a daze, so you don't see her looking at you. Your mind was all over the place and frankly, you didn't want to think about any of the latest events. Not the prenup. Not the engagement. Not Chris. Snapping into reality, you pay for your groceries and take all the bags and walk out the store.

On the drive to the hotel, you pass the park where you and Chris met. That didn't help with your predicament at all.

Dodger had gotten off his leash because he was so excited to finally have a home. You were with your niece. She is so obsessed with dogs and wanted to meet every one. Dodger spotted her and pounced on her, giving infinite kisses.

Chris was freaking out. His dog just pounced on a two year old child.

You, on the other hand, were laughing your ass off. Your niece wasn't complaining either because she kissed him back.

He apologized profusely and you guaranteed him it was okay. You guys hung out for the rest of the day and decided to go on another date, without the kids. One date lead to many others and soon enough you'd met his whole family, vice versa, and started living with him. It was unreal.

And here you are infront of a hotel, with no ring or engagement and your fianceé almost an hour away. Oh, how the tables have turned.

You get out and receive your room key. You head up to your room and set everything down. You were so tired and worn out. Getting comfortable in the bed, you knock out almost immediately.

Meanwhile, back at your house, it's pure chaos.

"Chris do you realize what the fuck you just did?"

Scott is practically screaming at his brother, pacing around the room.

"Scott can you fucking chill? You're not helping the situation" Chris snapped back at him. Scott stops and stares at him like he's an idiot.

"We wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for your stupid choices. Tell him Ma!" He looks at her to back him up. Lisa stands up from her seat and walks over to Chris.

"Now Scott, Chris is a grown man. He can handle this situation, right honey?" Her hands are on both his shoulders, looking for him to respond.

"There you go. You always do this! You always baby him up whenever he's in trouble." He rolls his eyes. Lisa draws back from Chris.

"No, I do not. I let all of you sort out your own issues, with my advice of course. Shanna, Carly, do I baby your brother?" Chris throws his head back in annoyance.

"Um, yeah kinda.."

"Sometimes...Ma, but not all the time of course"

They say at the same time. They hated to admit it but when it came to Chris, she mostly got him out his problems. He's not used to solving them on his own. Lisa utters incoherent words in disbelief.

"That's not important right now. My fianceé just called off our engagement and I don't know where she is!" Chris interrupts, getting everyone back into focus.

"Technically she's not your fianceé if she called the engagement off, but it's whatever..." Scott mumbles with his hands up. Chris shoots him a 'fuck off look'.

"Well have you tried calling her?" Carly asks him.

"Yes, but she's not picking up. She can hold quite the grudge when it comes to her feelings." And he was right. You were very protective of your feelings and anything to harm that will be shut down ASAP.

"Well we just have to hope that she is trusting her better judgment and will come back, unlike someone in the room" Scott says sarcastically turning and sitting on the couch. Chris smacks his lips.

"Scott that's enough!" Lisa snaps.

"Well he deserves everything he's getting! He put himself in this situation. Now he doesn't have a wife and he's miserable. Could never be me."

Chris had enough. He moved quickly put his chair and into the bedroom, slamming the door shut. He sat at the edge of the bed and cried.

You had finally woken up and check your phone.

26 missed calls | 63 messages.

You text Lisa and tell her you're fine. Closing the app, you look at your homescreen. It's a picture of Chris laying on your chest asleep. His lips are parted and you're grinning in the screen. He looks like an adorable puppy. You grab your charger out your bag and plug it up.

Remembering the stuff you bought, you grab the jellybeans and open them. Seeing the assortment of colors, you go straight for the red ones. Chris' favorite. You were gonna milk this to the bone. You reach in the bag and feel one of the pink boxes you bought. Still not knowing what it was, you pull it out and read it.

First Response Pregnancy

You bought a damn pregnancy test. 2 to be exact. You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or to smack yourself for wasting your money. Many thoughts went through your mind. Should you take the tests? Should you throw it away? What if you were pregnant? That last thought gave you shivers. Pregnant at a time like this? Were you even ready?

Looking down at the test, you decide to take it. Just for the hell of it. You knew you weren't gonna be pregnant because you take birth control. Not to mention you and Chris use condoms for extra measure. Nothing wrong with being safe.

You get up, pad to the bathroom and get down to business. You do all the steps and clean up after yourself. Now you just had to wait.

You were nervous as hell. You don't know why though. There isn't a chance you could be pregnant because you didn't allow there be one. You have been beyond careful. There would be zero possibility. Or so you thought.

After what felt like 5 minutes, your shakey hand grab the test and flip it over.

| |

You freeze and your eyes dart to the information section.

Not Pregnant- |

Pregnant- | |

You look back at the results. There were two lines. Absentmindedly, you shake your head and back up until your back hits the wall. You can't be pregnant. There's literally no freaking way. It's got to be false.

You grab the other test and take it. After 5 more minutes, you check it and there's two lines also. Now you were freaking the fuck out. Both tests are positive. You rush back in the room and dig through the bag for the other box. You grab it and take both tests at the same time. Don't ask.

After another 5 minutes, you stare at the back of the two tests. Moment of truth. You flip both the tests at the same time.

| | on each test.

This is where you fall on the floor in shock and fear. You were pregnant. With Chris' child. And you guys just had a huge fall out and you're all alone. You're not ready for a kid. Especially not now.

You bury your head in your hands and let the tears fall. How in the hell were you gonna tell him?

taglist:

@flattykawa1 @mayafatimakhan @attitude-times @shawn-youth @traceyaudette @fantasticinternetpizza @kyraroseficreblogs33 @radi0active-thoughts @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl @ohbarracuda @katelyneannxo @jennamarieee623 @nicochantez @craycraycraic @ilikeurdad @ppal3 @captainson-of-coul @joanne-stan @ilovetheeagles @cristinagronk16 @kelbabyblue @onyourgoddamnleft @jessyballet @misz-adrii @geminievans1 @saltyflowermakertaco @a-moment-captured @harrysthiccthighss @greatbatprofessordragon

i hope this part kept you guys' intrest like the first part😭 i felt the pressure today lmao

if you're bolded, i couldn't tag you. i'll personally message you ❤ thank you guys for your support. it means so much to me 🤧

[sunnypogue]

coho!rafe takes care of his sick girlfriend

some coho!rafe for you kind humans.

sometimes you gotta write some sappy, self indulgent shit.

aka this is what i need when i’m sick bc i am the most pathetic person ever when sick.

enjoy xoxo

--

You knew it when you woke up.

Seven hours earlier, when you were collapsing into bed after a full day of class and work, you had felt fine. Tired, maybe, but overall, you were good, lucid enough to wash your face and brush your teeth before spooning your boyfriend, already dead to the world.

Now, you were awake in an empty bed, head too heavy to move, wondering how the fuck you were going to get through three classes and a four-hour work shift without passing out.

You swallowed – and then immediately groaned, your dry, sore throat lighting up with a quick flash of pain.

Yeah. There was no way today was going to be anything less than horrible.

You willed yourself to a seated position, head spinning at the sudden pressure change. Your hands flew to your head, audibly moaning as you felt your brain throb, your eyebrows knit together in result of the pain.

The doorhandle rattled. You kept your head pressed into your hands, not ready to deal with whatever was on the other side.

“Baby?” Rafe’s voice entered the room first, the sound of the door hitting the wall exploding in your ears. “You’ve got class in 30.”

You groaned. “I know, I’m coming, just give me a second.”

Eyes still shut, you jumped when you felt the mattress sink next to you, shivered when Rafe’s hand pressed firmly against your forehead.

“Nope.”

Your eyes flew open. “What do you mean, nope?” You moved to swing your legs off the bed. “I’m fine, just tired.”

Rafe stood, planting his hands on your shoulders, keeping your weak body seated on the bed. “I meant no, you’re not going anywhere today. You’re burning up.”

You rolled your eyes. “Rafe, that’s really not an option. I’ve got three classes today, one of which is on literature theory, and I really can’t miss it, so if you could please move, that would be great.”

You gave a feeble attempt at moving his hand. He didn’t budge.

You tried again. “Rafe, I’ve got work tonight, and you know how hard it is to find last minute coverage for basketball games so it’s fine, I’ll push through it today and use tomorrow to rest.”

Rafe ignored you, reaching for your laptop instead. “I’ll email your professors and boss. Just go back to sleep.”

You squawked, reaching for your laptop. “Rafe!”

He glared at you. “Don’t fight with me. You’re sick, you’re staying home.” He rolled his eyes at your tired pout. “Now, I’m going to email whoever you’re indebted to or whatever, and then I’m gonna run to the grocery store. You’re gonna sleep. Got it?”

You sunk back into the bed, sheets pulled up over your chest. “Got it.” You offered, voice meek.

Rafe turned to leave, laptop in hand, when you squeaked out, “Rafe?”

He paused. “Yeah, baby?”

“Can you bring me some water?”

He offered you a smile. “Sure. Now go to sleep.”

When he returned, water in hand, you were passed out, completely burrowed in the duvet, lights still on.

He set the glass on a coaster, dropped a quick kiss to your warm forehead, and flicked the light off.

-

Hours later, you woke up with a start, mouth dry, eyes bleary. Somehow, you felt even worse than before. Your throat was screaming for water, your entire body was aching, and the pressure behind your eyes had become even worse. Confused and upset, you felt tears welling up in your eyes, frustrated that your nap hadn’t solved all your problems.

Rafe came in as you were wiggling to a seated position, hands reaching out for the water on your nightstand.

“Afternoon.” He smiled. “How you feeling?”

You just looked at him, eyes wet and cheeks red.

His face fell, moving to sit by your side. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Planting your face in his neck, you sobbed, delusional from the fever and still so fucking tired, despite your five hour nap. You curled yourself into his side and let him rub your hot back, not caring that his hands felt like ice, sniffling and choking into his shirt sleeve.

Rafe tugged you into his lap when you started to calm down, your breathing less ragged and your sobs less violent. “Did something happen?”

You shook your head, not removing it from his neck. “Just hate feeling like this.”

Rafe nodded, hand moving to cup the back of your head as you continued sniffling. He knew how much you hated being sick and the setbacks it brought with it. He knew you hated the idea of being behind in classes, or letting your boss down, or simply feeling useless – which is why you pushed yourself to the point of near incapacitation, your body completely shutting down after months of constant work.

“I know.” He offered, voice low. “You gotta take care of yourself though, you know? Happens to everyone.”

You just choked on a sob.

Rafe maneuvered you around, seating you so your back was pressed against his chest. “Look,” He gestured towards the dresser. “Brought you some stuff. Doctor said you can take Advil to help with the fever and throat pain. Also said you were probably dehydrated, so you should drink some stuff with electrolytes.” He glanced down at you, registering your glazed gaze. “You should drink some of that now, actually. I don’t think you’ve had anything in your body since dinner.”

You shrugged, visibly exhausted. “You called my doctor?”

Rafe blushed. “I called your mom, who called your doctor. She just relayed the information back to me – and told me to tell you to call her when you’re feeling up to it.”

You nodded. “Okay. Maybe later. I’m tired.”

“I know you are.”

Rafe moved from behind you, helping you lean back onto your propped-up pillows. Grabbing the Advil and the Gatorade, he cracked both bottles, tapping the pills out into his hand before handing you the bottle.

“You can take three more in four hours.” He reminded, pushing your sweaty hair out of your face as you took the medicine. “Should help with the fever.”

You grimaced, pills feeling like bowling balls as they moved down your throat. “Thanks.” You rasped out.

He smiled, face soft as he looked down at you. “Of course, baby. Need anything else?”

You shook your head, nestling back into the bed, eyes fluttering from exhaustion. “No. Gon’ sleep.”

You were barely hanging onto consciousness when he pulled your duvet cover up to your chin, the pad of his thumb running over the heated, soft skin under your eye.

He leaned down to press a kiss into your hair, murmuring,

“I’ll be here when you wake up.”

[thinkingaboutyoungroyals]

Falling For You But You Are Worlds Away: Chapter 1

Summary: After a close call with a reporter that resulted in Simon getting hurt, Linda makes a difficult and heartbreaking decision. Meanwhile, Wilhelm returns to Hillerska, hoping to at least rekindle his friendship with Simon, only to find that even that was no longer possible.

Title inspired by Taylor Swift's "Come Back, Be Here."

Note: So... after several weeks of obsessing... I finally did it... I finally wrote Young Royals fanfic. And, I really shouldn't because I have Grad school and a part-time job and I barely have time to breathe.Speaking of that, I probably won't have a consistent update. There might be times when I disappear for several weeks. Please be patient and understanding with me, I'm still trying to balance school and work.

AO3 link

It was supposed to be a normal day of running errands – a trip to the grocery store, dropping off mail at the post office, and maybe getting ice creams as a treat on the way home. But, no, Simon should have known better than to think that his life would somehow go back to normal during Christmas. After all, the prince had denied his involvement in the viral video and Simon had broken up with him to give both of them some space. This all happened only a week ago.

But, even after all that trouble and heartbreak, here he and his family were, being chased down their own street by paparazzi with their stupid cameras and fake sympathy.

“Simon, won’t you tell us your side of the story?”

“Is Prince Wilhelm lying? Are you in a relationship?”

“Mrs. Erikkson, how did you react when you found out your son may have been involved with the prince?”

“Don’t say anything,” his mother hissed in Spanish, clutching Simon and Sara’s arms tighter against her side.

The plastic bag of groceries was digging into Simon’s skin and he wished he could adjust his grip but he didn’t dare slow down. Those hyenas at his heels could catch them and he didn’t want to give them that satisfaction.

But, then, Sara let out a startled scream. A reporter had grabbed her arm, making her drop the groceries. Clementines rolled out of the bag and onto the pavement.

And, just like that, Simon saw red.

“Let go of her!”

He ripped his arm from his mother’s hold and lunged at the reporter, pushing him away from his shaking sister. The reporter, a middle-aged man who had probably been doing this for a long time, released Sara. But, before Simon could pull her away to safety, searing pain exploded at his cheek. He tasted the blood before he even realized what had happened.

His mom and Sara screamed.

The other reporters began to yell at the first one. Things like “What is wrong with you?!” and “Fuck, you can’t touch our sources like that! We’re gonna get sued!”

His name was being called. It sounded like Sara.

But, Simon, feeling dazed and tired, just stared up at the bright blue sky. He didn't even realize he had fallen to the ground. It was a nice day, though.

It should have been an ordinary nice day.

 .....

“Thank you, officer, we really appreciate your help.”

“Just doing our job, ma’am. Please don’t hesitate to call us over if you see any more suspicious individuals around your home. We’ll send someone over, immediately.”

“Thank you.”

Linda bid the police officers a good day and shut the door. With them gone, she finally lowered her mask and allowed the weariness of the day to manifest in her bones. She leaned back against the closed door, letting out the breath she had been holding.

No matter how many times she had dealt with the police, it never failed to make her exhausted. She should be used to this by now.

When she and the kids still lived with Micke, it wasn’t uncommon for neighbors to call the cops to complain about her ex-husband disturbing the peace. Mostly because he was yelling at her and the children. Sometimes, even hurting her. (He never touched the children. Linda never let him. The one and only time he almost laid a hand on Sara was finally when Linda finally gathered her children, important documents, and a few meager possessions and fled into the night.)

Linda believed that they were past all that. That in this new life she built for herself and her children, they would never have to call the police to their home or worry about their safety ever again. But, after what happened to Simon today, she could no longer hold on to that dream. Not for the time being.

She knew what she had to do to keep her son safe, even if it hurt her. Even if Simon would resent her. She hoped he wouldn’t. That he would see that she was doing this for him.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, Linda straightened her shoulders, lifted her head, and began to make her way back to the living room, where she could clearly hear her children bickering on the couch.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sara asked her brother.

“I’m fine,” Simon answered, sounding annoyed. “He didn’t even hit me that hard.”

“You could have hit your head!”

“But, I didn’t.”

“You should have left him alone.”

“He touched you!”

Sara pressed her lips together and looked away as she dabbed ointment to her brother’s bruised lip. Simon flinched, which made his sister’s lips quirk to an amused smile.

But, despite her children looking seemingly okay, joking around and teasing each other the way they always did, Linda couldn't stop looking at that dark mark marring her son’s handsome face. 

Clearing her throat, she stepped into the living room.

“Mi amor, how are you feeling?” she asked, sitting on Simon’s other side.

“I’m fine, mama,” he replied, immediately. “It’s just a scratch, it will heal in a few days.” He grinned. “It makes me look badass though, right?”

Sara snorted. “More like reckless.”

“A reckless badass.”

“Mi amor,” Linda interrupted, gently, not wanting them to start bickering again. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Simon straightened up, looking serious. Linda’s chest felt heavy as she took his hand in hers and stroked it. Sometimes, she wished her children were still small and had no other care in the world except for what candy they could get at the grocery store that week.

“It’s about school,” she began.

“I’ll transfer back to Marieberg,” Simon said, misunderstanding where the conversation was going. “I don’t mind. Sara can stay at Hillerska, she has friends there now, I’m sure she’ll be fine. Besides, Rosh and Ayub are excited to have me back.”

Linda shook her head. “I don’t think you should go back to Marieberg either.”

At that, Simon’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean? I should go to another school? There aren’t any others close by.”

Linda sighed as she looked her son in the eye. “When the… video… first came out...”

Simon flinched and looked down at his feet.

“... I thought about how to… protect you. Especially after what happened today-.”

“Mama, I can handle it,” he interrupted, still unable to look at her. “I was fine today.”

“No, you weren’t,” Sara interjected. “You got punched.”

Simon glared at her. “They’re just reporters, I can handle them.”

Linda squeezed his hand. “It’s not just the reporters, Simon. It’s also… the others. Remember that boy from the other day? He followed you home! He could have hurt you!”

Simon's eyes flashed in anger at the memory. “But, he didn’t, you drove him away. And I would have been fine, I could take him.”

“That doesn’t stop me from worrying!”

Linda ran a hand through her hair, frustrated and cursing her son’s stubbornness. Unfortunately, that was one thing he inherited from Micke.

“Anything could have happened and I can’t protect you! Not at school, not at the grocery store, not even here at home! And do you know what that does to me?! I worry about you every time you’re out of my sight, Simon!” 

Unbidden tears brimmed at Linda’s eyes but she refused to let them fall. She had to be strong. She was making the right decision.

“A few weeks ago, I called your Tia Elena. She already knew what happened, the news reached them...”

“Oh, God!” Closing his eyes, Simon groaned and fell back against the couch.

“… and she actually suggested that… you go to live with her for a while.”

Almost immediately, Simon’s eyes snapped open and he sat up. “What?”

“I wasn’t sure, before, because I don’t want you to be away from us. But, after what happened with that boy from the other day and the reporters today… I think this is the best thing for you.”

“To send me to America?! That’s the best thing for me?!”

Simon pulled his hand away from her hold and stood up, presumably to stalk off to his room.

Linda tried to blink away the tears. “Simon, mi amor, please! This is the only way to keep you safe!”

“You’re sending me away! From you and Sara and my friends! My whole life is here!”

“It’s only until this all dies down, I promise. You can transfer back to Marieberg next school year. But, just for this term. Please, Simon.”

She watched Simon’s stiff back as he processed her pleas.

“W-What about a visa?” he asked and the hope in it broke her heart. “Don’t I need one of those? And they take time, don’t they? By the time they process it, school’s gonna start and I still have to travel and-.”

“You have an appointment with the U.S. Embassy the day after tomorrow,” Linda interrupted. “Your Tia Elena took care of everything. She even sent some money along to help with the fees.”

“Oh.” Simon’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “W-Would they even have room for me?”

“There’s only her and Ana now ever since Ricardo left them. And she says you can work at her store to earn some extra money, if you want.”

From the corner of her eye, Linda spotted Sara, who was unusually quiet. Her daughter was staring at her brother, her face unreadable. It was difficult to read Sara these days. But, Linda hoped that her daughter understood why she was doing this.

Sara didn’t want to leave Hillerska and that was fine, she had gone ahead and applied for that Grant to be a resident. But, even if Simon applied for a Grant too and became a resident, he would still get chased by reporters. He would still get recognized and followed by creeps and people who wanted to do him harm in Bjarstard. But, in America, with Linda’s older sister, he could be safe from the scandal.  

“Is there really no other way?” Simon asked, softly.

Getting to her feet, Linda moved towards her son and wrapped him in her arms.

“Mi amor, I know this is difficult for you. It is for me, too. I want nothing more than for you to stay here in Sweden with me and your sister. But, I want you to be safe. I want people to stop stalking you and bothering you about something so… traumatic. You don’t deserve that. You deserve to go to school and live your life in peace. In America, no one knows who you are. You can live normally again, go to school, and even… date someone new.”

Simon flinched in her arms and she regretted her words.

What Simon had with Wilhelm was truly special, something for the books, the kind of love story you often watch on T.V. and read about in books. She had never seen Simon as happy as he had been when he was with the prince, even if they thought Linda didn’t know. (Of course, she knew! She was his mother!) It was only a shame that their story ended in a tragedy that not only broke her son’s heart but also brought negative and unwanted attention onto his life.

“Simon, please,” she begged. “Just for a few months, I promise, mi amor. And, then, you can come home and life will be back to normal, I’m sure. Please.”

Time felt like it was slowing down as they stood there in the middle of the living room, Simon slowly breaking in her arms and Sara only watching helplessly.

Finally, her son let out a breath. “Okay,” he said in a soft voice. “I’ll go.”

Linda burst into tears and buried her face against the fabric of Simon’s orange sweatshirt.

Despite her own heart breaking into pieces at the thought of being away from her son, she was also so incredibly relieved.

 ......... 

The Christmas break was too long, in Wilhelm’s opinion.

He spent most of it making required public appearances, sitting in on council meetings, and attending royal parties. He went about his duties like a robot, his emotions numb and something in him broken. His mother thought he would get over it if she threw enough things at him to keep him busy enough to not think of Simon. But, obviously, it didn’t work.

Simon was the first thing on his mind when he woke up in the mornings and the last thing he thought of before he slept at night. He had tried texting but his texts went unanswered. His calls would result in just ring after ring after ring until voicemail picked up. He spent many hours just scrolling through Simon’s Instagram, not seeing any new posts. Rosh, Ayub, and Sara had all blocked him so he couldn’t even see any posts of Simon, if there were any.

During the yearly Christmas party hosted by the Royal family, it was normally Erik who had to socialize and make nice with all the nobility and distant relatives who came. But, this year, Wilhelm had to do it. And it was fine, at first. He managed to remember some names and those he didn’t remember, he managed to sidestep with a polite “sir” or “ma’am.” But, then… But, then!

His mother introduced to him the daughter of a Duke whose name he couldn’t remember. With the way his mother smiled and practically pushed the girl to his side, Wilhelm knew exactly what she was doing. It ruined the rest of the party for him, as well as that poor girl’s Christmas. Wilhelm was so annoyed that he ignored her when she tried to make conversation. Eventually, he caused her to break into tears when he bluntly said that he didn’t care who designed her dress.

The Queen tried to scold him, called him a disgrace, and demanded that he get himself together. Wilhelm only shot her a blank look, excused himself, and left the party.

There were no more attempts at setting him up after that.

So, when Christmas break ended and it was time to return to Hillerska, he was relieved. He dutifully packed his things, including the small Christmas gift he got for Simon. He was hoping that even if they couldn’t restart their relationship, they could still be friends. Wilhelm would take anything Simon was able to offer him right now, even if it wasn’t what he wanted.

“Your Royal Highness,” Malin called through the door. “You’re supposed to be at the church in ten minutes.”

“Thanks, Malin!” Wilhelm called back to her.

The prince looked over his appearance in the mirror one last time, making sure his school tie was tied properly and his jacket free of lint. Not that Simon would care about those, but Wilhelm wanted to look his best, for once. He even got a haircut over break. He wondered if Simon did, too. He couldn’t wait to see him.

Feeling the anticipation brimming inside him, Wilhelm made his way out of his room. He joined the others in leaving Forest Ridge to head to the church. Ahead of him, Henry and Walter waved, pausing to let him catch up to them.

Despite their initial impression on Wilhelm, they really did mellow out the more he got to know them. And when the video came out, they were the only ones who didn’t look at him weirdly (at least, not blatantly to his face) and never once asked about the video. They even texted him a Merry Christmas over break. He would take their company over August’s.

And, speaking of the devil, there was his traitor of a cousin now, pushing through the other boys to get to him. Wilhelm quickened his steps, not wanting to get caught in a conversation. He had successfully avoided him during the Christmas party at the palace after giving firm instructions to Malin and Johan to ensure that he didn’t get close to Wilhelm.

Luckily, his bodyguards were most likely doing exactly that as Wilhelm made it to the church and slipped into a pew without August catching up to him. Henry and Walter slid in after him, chatting about their holidays.

“Wonder what they’re singing this time,” Walter wondered aloud.

“Hope it’s something good,” Henry added.

Wilhelm only smiled, his annoyance at August finally melting away and replaced by excitement to see Simon and hear him sing again. Christmas break was too long.

Finally, the whole church had filled up and the Headmaster signaled for everyone to be quiet.

The choir entered.

Wilhelm spotted Felice and gave her a small wave. She had remained a great friend to him throughout the break.

As the choir began their song, Wilhelm scanned the heads, looking for that familiar head of curls. Someone else was doing a solo this time, a girl he didn’t know and her voice was nice but it wasn’t Simon. Why wasn’t Simon doing the solo?

Wilhelm couldn’t even hear the song or decipher the lyrics. His eyes desperately scanned all three rows but he couldn’t spot Simon.

Where was Simon?!?! Did he miss the first day of school?!?!

But, Sara was just a few pews ahead. She wouldn’t leave home without her brother.

The excitement that had earlier filled him turned into fear.

Did Simon quit the choir?!

Not caring about how it looked, Wilhelm scanned the pews across from them and the pews behind him, trying to spot those curls. But… he couldn’t see them. Not one strand.

The choir had finished singing now and the Headmaster had stood up to welcome them to another semester, go over the rules of the dorms, and list the school administration’s expectations from their students.

All of it went over Wilhelm’s head.

And, finally, they were dismissed to go to their first class of the day.

Wilhelm shot up and, muttering apologies to Henry and Walter, made his way out of the pew. He ignored the “hello’s” sent his way and hurried to the front.

Sara and Maddie were chatting with each other as they made their way down the aisle, all excited smiles and talking about how wonderfully Felice sang.

“Sara!”

The girl slowed down and froze upon seeing him. He saw the anger flash in those normally calm eyes. Then, she turned her gaze away and walked past him.

Wilhelm was not giving up.

He turned around and gave chase. “Sara! Sara, wait! I just need to ask you something.”

“I have nothing to say to you, Prince,” she seethed, not stopping.

He hated to do it but he gently grasped the arm of her school jacket. “Please, I need to ask you. Where’s Simon?”

Sara pulled her arm away, glaring at him. “Why do you ask?”

Wilhelm swallowed. “He didn’t sing with the choir. And I can’t find him anywhere and I just-.”

“He doesn’t go to Hillerska anymore.”

Wilhelm’s heart stopped. “What?”

Sara shrugged, turned on her heels, and walked away. Maddie shot Wilhelm a pitying look before hurrying off after her.  

His chest felt tight. And it seemed like there wasn’t enough air for him to breathe.

Simon... left?

[rusticreid]

watch the evening glow (across idaho)

Summary: Spencer and y/n take a much-needed vacation after a tough case, and find exactly the type of distraction that they need. Spencer x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,482

Warnings: oral sex (both receiving), PIV sex, mentions of history of drug abuse

A/N: Don’t ask me how boats work, I don’t know. I don’t even know what kind of boat it is. In the words of Harry Styles, “it’s just a boat”. Honestly this picture made my hick heart soar and I had to write this so ... that’s how we ended up here. 

While it contrasted his lively Las Vegas upbringing, Spencer Reid felt his calmest in the sleepy monotony of Idaho. As often as possible, he and y/n would hop on a plane for a vacation at their cabin on Lake Coeur d’Alene. They enjoyed lazy days on the lake, sipping beers and laughing as the stresses of life in the BAU melted away. Sometimes, they would take one of their trips following a case that hit one or the other of them particularly hard, needing a reminder that life could slow down, be free and easy too. 

This particular time, it was Spencer who needed to take a breather after a case where the unsub had been dosing captives with narcotics to keep them subdued, which had hit far too close to home for his comfort. After they had gotten home from that case, he had turned to y/n, “That case was a lot, baby. I need a fucking break.” 

Y/n nodded sympathetically, pulling him into a hug. Spencer had been sober for years now, but still struggled with urges to use Dilaudid again. “Do you want to go to the cabin? We haven’t used vacation time in forever.”

He nodded, forehead against her shoulder before he pulled away. “Did you know that one of the primary factors when considering the likelihood of a relapse is the recovering addict’s environment? Those who have risk factors like a high-stress lifestyle, who witness trauma or violence are significantly more likely to experience a relapse? That combined with my coexisting risk factors of mental illness and ADHD means that it’s statistically surprising that I haven’t had a relapse.” 

Y/n smiled at him, reaching up and ruffling his hair, “I’m proud of you, baby. But even if you did relapse, I would be here with you to help out, no matter what you needed. I love you, I’m here for you, and I am so proud of you. Now, let’s get some sleep and then put in requests to take a few days off.” 

---

The one thing endlessly annoying about traveling to Idaho, was that it was severely lacking in airports. To get to Coeur d’Alene, they needed to either fly into Boise, which was a 7 hour drive from their destination, or fly into Spokane, which required a layover in Seattle, but was only a 40 minute drive from their destination. Y/n and Spencer had greatly favored the second option, as the Seattle layovers weren’t usually too long. 

Upon landing in Spokane, Spencer and y/n had packed into a rental car and began the drive to Coeur d’Alene. “So,” y/n began, turning to Spencer “What do you want to do this time? I was thinking we could take the boat out, do a little exploring. Maybe I could find some ways to distract you from the case…” 

Gripping the steering wheel tightly, he turned to y/n with a smile on his face, “Oh yeah? And how would you do that?” 

Y/n smirked, reaching out to rest her hand on his thigh, “I’m sure we can work something out.” 

---

As they neared their destination, Spencer pulled into the parking lot of a convenience store so that they could stock up on groceries for the week.  Y/n had always enjoyed the casual intimacy of grocery shopping with Spencer, who never failed to make endless comments about anything and everything they picked up. 

They picked up a case of beer, knowing that that cold beer would pair well with their days on the lake. Grabbing a few other items, they made their way through the checkout, hands intertwined. 

The drive to the cabin was short, but that didn’t stop y/n from palming at Spencer’s cock through his pants. He whined, looking away from the road for a second to glare at y/n, “Baby, if you don’t stop that, I’m going to end up crashing the car.” 

Y/n giggled, slowing her motions only slightly. “Then you’d better hurry up and get us to the cabin.” 

Spencer let out a shaky breath, keeping his eyes on the road as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel, “You know, according to the CDC, 9 people die every day as a result of distracted driving. That adds up to approximately 3,500 each year.”

“Well,” said y/n, smirking as she looked out the window, “it’s a good thing we’re here then, isn’t it?” 

---

Y/n headed to the bedroom, stripping off her clothes as she went. Spencer, on the other hand, took his time unpacking the groceries. He smirked, knowing that y/n would already be on the bed waiting for him, likely very impatient. 

Spencer was right, of course. When he pushed open the bedroom door, he was rewarded with the sight of a fully naked y/n touching herself. She looked over at him with hooded eyes, “Took you long enough. I almost finished off without you.”

He let out a laugh, rolling his eyes good-naturedly, “Oh and what, you’d stop at just one orgasm? Just over ⅓ of people with vaginas are able to have multiple orgasms within a single session, and we both know that you’re one of those.” 

Y/n whined, “God damn it, Spencer Reid, just come over and fuck me.” 

He didn’t need to be told again. He stripped down, situating himself in front of her. He smirked up at her as he grabbed her by the calves, throwing her legs over his shoulders as he leaned in to suck a bruise on to her thigh. Y/n reached down, tangling her fingers into his curls in an attempt to guide him to where she wanted him most. He smiled as he moved to kiss and suck at the other thigh, knowing he was driving her crazy. He licked his lips, contemplating for a second before diving in, face first. His tongue flicked at her clit, eliciting a moan from her. His hands gently stroked her hips as his mouth went to work, alternating between sucking her clit and lapping at the growing wetness inside her. 

Having neared the edge before Spencer had even entered the room, y/n was quick to find release, thighs tightening around Spencer’s head and neck as she rode out her orgasm on his tongue. With a heavy breath, and shaky legs, she reclined fully on the bed, “Fuck, Spence. You’re going to kill me one of these days.”

He stood up, smirking as he wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, “The risk of death during sex is significantly higher in men, especially those with a preexisting heart condition. There was a study done over 20 years, which showed that 0.19% of natural deaths in that time period were caused by sexual activity, and only two of them were women.” 

“You really do have a statistic about everything, don’t you?” y/n said, grinning at him, “Come here, I need to get you off too.” 

He leaned down to kiss her before laying next to her on the bed, “Well, I won’t say no to that.” 

“What are you in the mood for?” y/n asked, kissing up the side of his neck. 

“I’m not really in the mood to fuck, but I’d take a blowjob or a handjob. Whatever you’re up for is good for me.” 

“I can make that happen. Can you sit back against the headboard for me?” 

Spencer happily obliged, stroking himself with slightly hooded eyes. Y/n straddled his thighs and leaned in, kissing him forcefully. She reached down, grabbing his cock with her hand stroking at him slowly. He closed his eyes with a groan, “That’s it, baby.”

Y/n leaned over, rummaging through the drawer of the bedside table until she found a small bottle of lube. She uncapped it, drizzling some over Spencer’s cock, knowing that he liked wet, sloppy handjobs. She tangled one hand in his hair, kissing him as she stroked at his cock with the other hand. She got herself into a good rhythm, stroking and twisting in a way that had him moaning into her mouth. He bucked into her hand once, twice, three times before spilling over with a grunt.  He let his head fall back against the headboard, panting. 

Y/n got up from the bed, padding into the bathroom to wash his traces off her hands. Once she was done, she wet a washcloth for Spencer to clean himself off with. Returning from the bathroom, she found Spencer thumbing through a book, still breathing heavily. 

“Do you want to take a nap and then make dinner in about an hour?” y/n asked as she wiped him down. 

He smiled, nodding sleepily, “That sounds good.”

---

Y/n and Spencer giggled as they attempted to cook dinner, fumbling around each other in the tiny kitchen. Neither of them were much of a cook, so they generally stuck to simple meals when eating at home. Y/n sat on the counter as she waited for the pasta to boil, watching Spencer as he carefully measured the ingredients for a simple alfredo sauce. She smiled as he whispered to himself, ever-cautious about getting it exactly right.

When the sauce was done and the pasta was boiled, Spencer and y/n piled their bowls high and made their way over to the couch. Spencer grabbed the remote, turning the TV on for background noise as they ate. 

“So what do you want to do this week?” y/n asked between bites, “I’m thinking maybe a hike or two, a couple days on the lake and a stop at the farmers market for sure.” 

Spencer nodded, “I have a couple of books I want to read, but I can definitely do that when we’re at the lake.”

They chatted idly as they finished their dinner and then left their dishes in the sink to deal with at a later time. Y/n went to the bathroom, beginning her nighttime routine, as Spencer went around the cabin, locking the doors and windows, and turning off the unnecessary lights before crawling into bed to wait for the bathroom. 

---

Y/n and Spencer had decided to spend their first full day at the lake. The first time they traveled to Idaho, Spencer had read every book he could find regarding the details of boating, learning the intricacies pretty quickly and deciding on the type of boat that he and y/n wanted to purchase. In the subsequent trips, he had picked up fishing too, but wasn’t always in the mood for that. 

That particular boat outing, Spencer and y/n just intended to eat sandwiches on the lake and lay out in the sun, pretending that the outside world didn’t exist. Y/n scanned the scenery as Spencer dealt with maneuvering the boat. 

They made idle small talk as they made their way around the lake. Spencer found a place to stop the boat, so they could eat their lunch while enjoying the scenery. Y/n dug through the cooler, pulling out their sandwiches and a beer for each of them. Spencer accepted his lunch gratefully, leaning back in his seat to put his feet up. 

They ate in comfortable silence, enjoying the view and the peace provided by the lack of other people. “I’m always surprised by how quiet it is here,” remarked y/n, “It’s like nobody lives here.” 

Spencer raised his eyebrows, “You’re technically right. Idaho has a population density of approximately 19.8 people per square mile, as opposed to the 202.6 people per square mile that we’re used to.” 

Y/n smiled, humming in agreement and taking a swig of beer in favor of responding verbally. 

“You know what,” Spencer said suddenly, turning to y/n. 

She turned to him, expectantly, “What’s up, baby?” 

“We have had sex in every other possible location I can think of, our apartment, our cars, the BAU office, the jet… everything except for here.”

Y/n giggled, setting her beer down and pulling her dress over her head, leaving her in just a bikini, “We can change that. Nobody’s around” she said, looking around to confirm her statement. When she was satisfied that nobody was going to catch them immediately, she knelt before him, toying with the waistband of his swim trunks. He looked down at her through hooded eyes, lacing one of his hands into her hair. 

She noticed with a bit of a start that he still held his beer in the other hand, and something about that made her wet. She palmed at his cock through the thin material of his shorts, smirking at his quiet groan. 

She stuck her hands into the waistband, maneuvering his shorts off his body. She grabbed his cock, jerking it a few times to get it to full hardness. When she was satisfied, she leaned down to tongue at the head, lapping at the drops of precum leaking out. Spencer’s groan was more audible this time, his hand tightening in y/n’s hair. She plunged down, sucking the head into her mouth. She bobbed up and down, and when she looked up, she was treated to the sight of Spencer taking a swig of his beer, his long fingers curled elegantly around the neck of the bottle. She watched his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed. Something about the nonchalance of drinking beer while receiving a blowjob made her even more desperate. 

Spencer was panting, pulling at y/n’s hair. She reached down, pulling her bikini bottoms aside to run a finger through her growing wetness. Spencer reached for her chin, breathing heavily “I’m getting close.” 

Y/n nodded, “Are you in the mood to cum in me?”

Spencer bit down on his lip, flushing, “Yeah, turn around and bend over.” 

Y/n did just that, bracing herself against the side of the boat. Spencer pulled her bikini bottoms to the side, and lined his cock up with her entrance. Grabbing her by the hips, he thrust inside her, hissing as he bottomed out. She clenched around him the way she knew he liked. He got into a rhythm, faltering as he neared his climax. He stuttered against her as his vision whited out, moaning louder than he should have, considering that they weren’t really that far from civilization. He pulled out, watching his cum drip down her legs, getting her swimsuit irreparably dirty. 

He pulled her bikini bottoms all the way down, he trailed his fingers up her legs, towards her pussy, gathering drips of cum on the way to her entrance. His cum-slick fingers trailed over her entrance, teasing at it lightly. He grabbed her arm, turning her to face him so that he had easier access. 

She whined as he teased her, fingers running through her folds as he pointedly avoided her clit. She shifted her hips in an attempt to get his fingers where she wanted them, but he remained intent. “Please, baby I need -” y/n whimpered, gasping as one of his fingers ghosted past her clit. 

“What do you need?” Spencer asked, smiling devilishly, “All you need to do is ask.” 

Y/n whined, both frustrated and incredibly aroused, “Please let me cum, Spence, please.” 

Spencer let out a laugh, but finally caved, circling her clit with his index and middle fingers. She gasped, pressing into him, “Yeah baby, just like that, don’t stop.” 

Spencer sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, only concentrating on pleasing her. She breathed heavily, the occasional “fuck” escaping her lips. Eventually, she reached her climax with a gasp, shaky legs threatening to give out under her. Spencer helped her to sit down, pushing her hair out of the way so that he could press a kiss to her sweaty forehead. 

Y/n drew in a shaky breath, “This is going to be a fucking shitshow to clean up.” 

Spencer let out a laugh, “I think I have some baby wipes in my bag”. With a grunt, he stood up to rifle through his bag, pulling his shorts back up as he stood. When he found what he was looking for, he crouched next to y/n, spreading her legs to clean her up with the wipe. He got to his feet again, holding out a hand to help her up, “I do think you’ll probably have to wear the dress without the bikini bottoms, though” he said with a smirk, “They’re pretty dirty. Tragic, truly.” 

Y/n swatted playfully at him, then walked over to slip the dress back over her head. “Are you ready to head back, or do you want to stay out for a bit longer?”

Spencer pondered for a second, cracking open another beer, “I think I’m ready to go. We can take a walk later tonight if you’re in the mood.” 

Y/n smiled, taking a drink out of her own beer, “Sounds perfect to me.”

---

[incorrectqus]

Sibling Things

To help writers who don’t have them or just for siblings to go: THATS SO TRUE!

Btw this is a long list so I added a keep reading to it

Also feel free to add to it

When bringing food to your siblings you make sure you have the largest portion no matter what

When you measure out the food so the portions are exactly equal, sometimes even bringing out measuring tools to make sure of it

Running to the car so you can have the front seat

Running to the car so you can have the front seat only for your parents to say it’s your siblings turn, but it’s not fair because before that your sibling got to be in the front for 3 hours while even though you were in the front last time it was only for a grocery run

Hitting your siblings because they’re just breathing

“I’m not touching you.” “Yes you are! Mom/Dad, (name) is touching me!” “No I’m not! See my finger is right here it’s not even touching you!”

When you hit your siblings too hard and they actually start to cry so you beg them not to tell your parents about it with the “Please don’t tell mom/dad,” or the “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it!” Not because you feel bad but because you don’t want to get in trouble

Seeing your siblings just standing there so you run up to them and smack their butt as hard as you can because it’s fun to see them in pain

Laughing when your siblings fall or do something embarrassing then your sibling yelling and pointing “(name)’s laughing at me!” Your parent replying “(name) don’t laugh at them,” and now you’re in trouble

Seeing your sibling break something or do something their not supposed to and going “Oooooooh I’m telling mom/dad!” and then them chasing you so you don’t tell

Leaving the door open when they leave your room

Leaving their door open when you leave their room

Coming into your room for no reason other than to annoy them by doing absurdly weird stuff

Going into their room for no reason other than to annoy them by doing absurdly weird stuff

Racing to finish your food so you can have seconds and so your sibling can’t

Fighting over the TV remote

Fighting over who’s Player 1 (that title belongs to the older sibling! And that’s a fact!)

Seeing the dishes need to be cleaned or put away but leaving them so your sibling will be told to do them

Picking out your siblings laundry from your own because you ain’t gonna wash/fold their stuff too that’s their job

Taking pieces from the others food, not because you want it, but because you know it annoys them

Your siblings chasing you because their fed up with you so you scream bloody murder and your parents name to come and save you

Being nice and considerate towards you siblings when their sad and offering to help or do their hw when their down

Insulting your siblings

Threatening or fighting anyone who insults your siblings

“Mom/Dad (name) hit me!” “That’s a like I didn’t hit you” “Quit hitting each other!”

“You’re adopted!” “Well at least they wanted me!”

“Why are you looking at me? Stop it; it’s annoying!” “Why do you care if I look at you?” “Mom/Dad (name) won’t stop looking at me!” “One of you looks that way and the other looks that way! Now quit arguing!”

Each one of your siblings having a preferred cousin

Being embarrassing when your siblings friend(s) or s/o comes over

Your siblings running away from you into their room and them pushing on one side of the door while you push on the other to get to them whilst your parent(s) yells “Quit slamming the door!”

Your parent(s) to you and your siblings before going to any sort of formal or public place/event: “Now when we go in there your going to behave. No fighting. If you do misbehave when we get home I’ll whoop your asses. Do you understand?”

If you share a room with your siblings you split the room in the middle and complain when the other comes to your side do the room

Hiding your siblings toys/things because you can and you like seeing them in distress

Blaming your siblings anytime you can’t find anything, “Did you take it?” “What?” “I know you took it give it back.” “I didn’t take anything!” “Yes you did where did you hide it?”

“I’m mom’s/dad’s favorite” “No you’re not I am” “No I am” “Mom/Dad who do you love more?!”

Hitting your siblings at the mall or grocery stores and running away from them because it’s harder for them to get back at you in public

Everything is a competition

“Dibs!” “Shotgun!” “I get the top bunk!”

Getting into mischief together and giggling evilly the whole time you do it

Stealing your siblings Halloween candy

Trading Halloween candy with one another 

Stealing something of your siblings when they stole something from you to use as a bargaining chip

“I’m older than you!” “Well I’m taller than you!”

“Ew, you’re so ugly don’t look at me!” “People say we look alike so you just insulted yourself, stupid.”

People either thinking you’re twins or dating when out in public alone with your sibling

Actually behaving when it’s just you and your sibling(s) our in public

Barely hitting them and them screaming “Mom/Dad (name) hit me!” “I barely touched you!” 

The hardest thing to do is when your parent(s) make you apologize to one another and to hug it out or shake on it

“Who broke it?” automatically ends up with siblings arguing why it’s not them, but their sibling(s)

Standing in front of the TV screen to annoy your siblings

Annoying them by messing around with their keyboard/controller/phone

Putting your leg on them or laying on them on the couch to just annoy them usually this ends up with “Get your nasty feet off of me!”

Taking up as much space as possible so your siblings can’t sit down

ADDITIONS:

putting food you don’t want on your siblings plate while they’re not looking so you don’t have to eat it

kicking your siblings under the table

addition by @sandbigender when your in the car for a long time or somewhere you’re bored, you play dumb games or fight

addition by @poepoe-thebunny Having that one REALLY STUPID thing you two will never agree on, in which at least 1/3 is disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing

addition by @goldenbadass Never calling each other by your name, but instead using insults to address the other

addition by @goldenbadass Using random terms to address each other and expecting the other to reply anyway

addition by @goldenbadass entering each others rooms just to call the other ugly before dashing off to your own room

addition by @thundermegood When you are soo bored that you would Start a fight over the teeniest things JUST for something to do

addition by @thundermegood Fighting over who gets to play the game console turns into a conspiracy theory over the console

addition by @thundermegood Fighting over who gets to pet or cuddle the house pet when all the pet wants to do just effing sleep

addition by @ultimatemoisturebodylotion4 The Look™️ you both give each other when your parents act toxic or over share in front of people

addition by @ultimatemoisturebodylotion4 That same look when you both hatch a plan to get your parent to pay for something using blackmail

addition by @ultimatemoisturebodylotion4 Asking them to tutor you which only results in them getting impatient and just doing it for you

addition by @ultimatemoisturebodylotion4 Hiding stuff in each other’s rooms when you know your parents are gonna go through your stuff

addition by @ultimatemoisturebodylotion4 Being the only ones you can talk about your s/o to because they a) don’t care if you’re gay and/or b) don’t care if you have a s/o

addition by @midnightbreezes Terrorizing your younger siblings while you're parents are gone, because "mom out me in charge."

addition by @rosesandlavendertea Have an argument but still be sitting next to eachother, sharing memes 5 minutes later like nothing happened

addition by @thundermegood When your sibling tells you are not the favourite.

addition by @thundermegood When you watch your siblings make a huge mess while mom is having a nap, then they frantically try to clean up the mess as fast and as quietly as possible.

[lordkambe]

🚬   title, type: karasuno old boys: the setter and the cheerleader, chapter one fic, +2k word count.

🚬  short summary:  y/n was a miyagi girl, born and raised, until she decided to move to the states after graduation. after several years, y/n is back in miyagi after unexpected unemployment. now she is running her parents old dumpling shop where runs into old friends from her alma mater: karasuno high.

in this chapter, y/n is invited to karasuno’s practice game by shimada and takinoue. they decide to have some fun and sneak into the stock room where they find their old uniforms. on a dare, you try on your old cheer-leading uniform (now a size too small) and run into your old friend, the coach, keishin ukai.

🚬   character, fandom, type of reader: keishin ukai, haikyuu!!, woman reader.

🚬   genre, rating: angst, eventual smut. 

🚬   themes, triggers: cursing, smoking, slight body image. 

🚬   author’s note:  hey everyone this is a fic that’s been on my brain for a while. i have to admit that coach ukai is just ... everything to me and i’m curious to know more about him. i hope you enjoy this chapter and possibly look forward to the next. your thoughts and feedback is always appreciated. 

Miyagi has always been your home, born and raised. The love you had for Miyagi ran deep but you knew you were destined for more. The second the high school diploma hit your palm and the farewell pictures were taken, you were gone. Instead of seeking refuge in Tokyo, you took it a step further and entered university in the U.S and while that was a temporary settlement for academics; you ended up spending time there longer than intended. It resulted in you loosing contact with the people closest to you in Miyagi including your own parents. So the phone call that you’d been laid off from a seemingly cozy job didn’t sit well with your parents. But with no other choice, you returned home.

Your parents had owned and ran a dumpling shop in Miyagi. It was a staple of the small town and it hosted memories you cherished. With you back in town, your parents decided to consider an early retirement in order for you to became responsible for the shop. For the first few weeks of your arrival back home went to work and went back home. It was to deflect from running into familiar faces, you were too big for Miyagi, remember? After a good few weeks of deflecting your parents encouraged you to find independence. So you leased a home only a mile or two from your parents and in close enough distance to the dumpling shop. Your new home was empty of groceries so you decided to swing by the local market at an odd hour at night. Entering the grocery store you immediately were overwhelmed. Despite its small size it was difficult to navigate. You approached an employee from behind and as he turned to greet you the memory of an old friend resurfaced, “Shimada?” You let out a breathy chuckle. “Y/N!” His throat filled up with such joy. You hugged immediately and it caused a few stares from the other patrons, neither of you payed it any mind. Shimada adjusted his glasses, “you should come to Karasuno tomorrow—-“ You cut him off and said you’re not so sure. Shimada sighed, “relax. Takinoue will be there, Keishin is coaching the new team. It really is a sight. They have this kid that can jump crazy heights.” He continued to gush over the team but you’re fixated on one detail, Keishin Ukai is a coach. “So you’re coming?” Shimada asked and you agree without realizing you did. The night prior to returning to Karusuno, you swung by your parents place and found your old yearbook. You took it back to your place and poured yourself a glass of wine. You flipped through the old pages, finger tracing down the signatures and heartfelt notes. Leaving Miyagi wasn’t something you regretted but it wasn’t because you had resentment against it. You loved the small town but your ambition the future outweighed your nostalgia for the past. The next day Shimada and Takinoue picked you up around 3 PM. Your outfit, much like theirs is casual. It was weird pulling up to Karasuno not in uniform. Skipping the main building, Shimada and Takinoue lead you to the club room. From outside you can hear the squeaking of shoes, the sound of volleyballs hitting the hard wood, the cheers and screams. You’re filled with nostalgia that burns into anxiety, you’re nervous. You stared at the pillars in front of the club room. You remembered standing there while Keishin leaned against one of the pillars. Sometimes his hand would reach out towards you to move a strand of hair from your cheek. He took breaks from practice not to eat or relax like the other boys, but to see you. Keishin and you never dated but you were known to be good friends. You regretted never doing anything more with that title and you weren’t sure if he felt the same. You were opposites anyways. Your dreams to be big extended to your studies. You’d always been top of your class while Keishin struggled to keep up. He had his passions, you had yours. You we’re brought back to life when Shimada dragged you inside. You stepped in and the smell of salon pas filled your nostrils. Oddly enough, it made you smile. Everyone was too caught up in their actions to give any attention to you three. Takinoue called for Keishin’s name but it was met with a dismissive wave of his hand. You couldn’t help but to stare at Keishin even if he couldn’t give you the decency of eye contact. As you observed him your voice was empty. You can’t believe his new look. Bleached hair? Hair? He had a buzz cut last time you saw him. Shimada spoke in hopes to introduce your presence but Keishin is caught up in the play. His eyes are fixed on the players, “we’re training for the inter-high premlis. Take a seat upstairs. I’ll catch up later.” His tone is harsh. Neither of you three wish to argue. As you made way to the upper seating, you’re greeted with a younger girl. She’s beautiful you think. She introduced herself as Kiyoko and you greeted her with the same kindness she shared. Takinoue then asked permission to look in the stock room, to which Kiyoko agreed. Knowing Takinoue was up to something, you followed through anyways. Feeling mischievous the three of you rummage through the stock room and shared memories of your time at Karasuno. The stock room was dimly lit but you could easily navigate through the old boxes. It was like going through time capsules; each box held so much history of Karasuno’s glory days. You ripped open another box and inside it you found the old volleyball uniforms. Jokingly you dared the two boys to change but they had found something for you too, your old cheering uniform. “Absolutely not.” You say before they even suggest you wear it. “Come on,” Shimada started “we’ll wear the uniforms if you wear yours.” Takinoue agreed but you can sense his hesitance. “I got taller, so these shorts will fit like booty shorts.” Takinoue complained. You felt that was a fair enough punishment. So the three you you agreed.  Takinoue and Shimada changed in the other room. After they did, they informed you and stood guard outside the stock room while you changed. The cheer-leading uniform fit but it didn’t slip onto your figure perfectly; it awakened your insecurities. The top of the uniform fit tight and your breasts seemed to push up as a result of your improper bra. Your thighs had grown wider forcing the skirt to look smaller than you remember it being. While you analyzed your suit, you hear Takinoue call for you. “Guys, I’m not sure about this.” You complain. To which Takinoue and Shimada groan. You then walk out with your arms covering your chest. The two of them step back. Both their cheeks flushed red, just as yours are. “Keishin is gonna jizz his pants.” Takinoue jokes. You slap his arm but a part of you hope he’s right. You always wanted Keishin to view you as more than just a friend. You saw how he looked at your former classmates back in the day, the girls he had crushes on. His eyes sparkled at the sight of them and you wished he looked at you the same. The three of you step back onto the court Shimada reinforces your confidence with a “you look great” Takinoue agreed and you smile. “Yeah unlike us.”  Takinoue followed. The three of you laughed. Now on the sidelines of the court, the players are scattered this time. It looks like they are on break and you silently curse because each of their eyes is on you three. The boys gleam at Takinoue and Shimada. An orange-haired boy let out an excited shout. You were surprised how such a tiny frame could fit such a loud voice. “Wow! You guys can so pass as 3rd years!” The orange-haired boy encouraged. Takinoue and Shimada were full of themselves now: wrapped up in their missed youth. You felt a set of eyes on you. In particular you notice two players. One has a buzz cut and looked very similar to how Keishin did when you were kids, the other was much shorter with a bleached strand of hair in the middle of his head. Both of their jaws were unhinged as they stared at you. It caused the other boys to stare as well. The once loud orange-haired boy is now silent. You can hear a faint “who’s that? She’s hot!” But can’t put a face to the voice. The whispers are interrupted with a hurdling volleyball bouncing off buzzcut and bleached strand’s heads. You wince knowing it hurt. “What are you boys gawking at, huh? Breaks over!” Keishin howled at them. It was a teacher, you assumed, beside him that tugged at his sleeve. Finally Keishin looks at you three. But you? You’re now standing behind T you fit perfectly behind his tall stature. You hear Keishin’s rough chuckle and it fills you with so much joy. “You boys look dumb as hell.” “Same as you did when you bleach-dyed your hair.” Takinoue clapped back which earned a laugh from you. Shimada took your arm and pulled you forward. You protest but to no avail. And now there you were standing a few inches from Ukai Keishin in a slutty version of your old cheerleading uniform. Keishin coughed, loudly. On the brink of choking the smaller teacher had brought him water. The teacher had introduced himself while Keishin collected himself, it fed your ego. “It’s nice to meet you Takkeda. I’m Y/N. I was a student here with Shimada, Takinoue and Keishin.” The boys seem to gather around in a group not too far. They were curious and you couldn’t blame them. You continue, “sorry for the distraction. We were in the stockroom and we found these and decided to try them on.” Your cheeks flushed and you hoped your voice sounded as confident as you presented it to be. “Don’t be sorry.” You heard one of the boys say, to which Keishin greeted with a scoff. Takkeda cleared the air by asking the boys to continue their practices. Despite their collective groan they complied and returned to their practice. The awkwardness of your actions settled in completely and you didn’t say a word. You watch Keishin as he removed his jacket. Unexpectedly he handed the jacket to you, “here.” “Thank you.” You bowed to him slightly and took the jacket. You slipped the larger fabric onto your figure and it consumed you. The smell of his cologne was mixed with cigarettes lingered on the fabric. “Just like old times.” Shimada said in a weak attempt to cut the tension in the room. Keishin’s expression was hard to decipher. He looked upset but flustered, excited even. You mustered up the courage to speak. “We’re sorry if we caused any trouble.” Shimada and  Takinoue spoke over you in order to take the blame. Keishin isn’t even looking at you at this point. “Takkeda, take over practice while we talk outside.” Keishin asked to which Takkeda agreed. You walked in front of Keishin and you could feel his eyes on you. Instinctively you pulled the jacket down farther to cover your behind. Now outside you, Shimada, Takinoue, and Keishin stood in a circle. It was oddly reminiscent of the old days but the energy between you four wasn’t nostalgic or happy. It was brutally awkward and you wanted to run. “It’s my fault, Keishin.” Shimada broke the silence and you looked up at him. Keishin fiddled around his pockets and cursed. He looked at you and you looked back at him. Your eyes were wide and your mouth was sealed shut. “My cigarettes and lighter are in my jacket pocket. Left side.” You nod your head and reach to grab them. While you hand them to Keishin you gave a warning, “smoking isn’t good for you.” Keishin shook the cigarette box with a scoff. “I don’t think someone who left without a trace is in a position to tell me what’s good for me. — Shimada,  Takinoue give us some privacy. Yeah?” He pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. The lighter switched and lit his cigarette. He inhaled a heavy swig before exhaling the smoke in the other direction, it spared you from directly inhaling the fumes. Shimada and Takinoue leave. No, you think. Don’t leave. The two men were your safety net. You can’t bring yourself to protest against Keishin’s request. He was already upset and there was no joy in exploiting his anger. The men returned to the gym leaving you and Keishin alone. The silence between you is prolonged he’s occupied with his cigarette and looking across the horizon. You break the silence, “So—“ He grunted in disdain. He doesn’t want you to speak but you don’t take the hint. “Ukai, I understand that you’re upset.” You have more to say but Keishin interrupted. “You have time to meet up with those two dumbasses but not for me?” He clicked his tongue. You rolled your eyes and a scoff left your lips while doing so. “Don’t jump to conclusions. I ran into Shimada yesterday when I was picking up groceries. I moved back not to long ago. I’m still settling in.” “Okay then.” He started. You took a step backward upset that he was greeting you with such hostility. “Okay then?” You breathed out. Annoyance riddled in your voice. “Ukai. I wanted — you know? No. I’m not. I’m not going to do this with you.” “What exactly? You left. You showed no interest of staying here and now you’re back? What do you want me to do Y/N? Throw you a parade?” You must have misread his jealousy or maybe he was upset about something else. You felt your chest tighten and confused as to where this conversation may lead. The frustration that build up inside of you was beginning to rush to the surface. You were happy to back in your hometown, but it wasn’t intentional. You hadn’t accepted your failure yet until now. In front of him. You looked off someplace anywhere except looking at him. You choked as you battled not to cry but you succumbed to your tears. You began to cry. Ukai shifted and you heard his feet shuffle. It was quiet now. “Y/N...” he broke the silence by saying your name. His voice was soft and filled with so much heart. It made you choke out another cry. Completely clueless on what to do Ukai stood there and as much as you appreciated the space he was giving you. You wanted him to wrap you in his arms you felt deprived of his touch. Wiping your eyes with the sleeve of his jacket you turned to him. Your eyes were swollen and red. “Are you alright?” Ukai’s expression was filled with concern mixed with a twinge of guilt. Unknown to you, Ukai missed you and each time he entered the gym to coach he was reminded of you. To see you again after all these years—- after that heartbreak he didn’t know how to process it. With both your feelings lost in translation the two of you stood there. Before finally, you spoke: “I came back because my plan to be this great thing fell apart. I was supposed to come back here successful. I was supposed to be that girl who made it big from a small shitty village.” Your confession was honest and true much like how it always was around Ukai. Though the moment was sad it was reminiscent of the past when the two of you confided your thoughts and hopes for the future. “So I’m sorry” there’s anger in your voice. “ that I didn’t give you a fucking phone call. Announcing my great return.” “God I feel so fucking stupid!” You turned on your heels and buried your face into your hands. Still in uniform the humiliation of your confession hit ten times harder. Ukai stepped toward you. You felt his hand on your back. It had such familiarity you could crumble. Despite how humiliated you felt, there was an odd sense of comfort that Ukai brought you. Even after all this time of no contact you could trust him. The hand he had on your back finds itself on your arm. He uses it to turn you around. You’re facing him now but unable to look up at his expression your eyes bore into the middle of his chest. He hugs you and you muffle yet another cry. “I’m sorry.” He whispered gently. He holds you tighter. “Get changed. I’ll end practice early, we could go for some drinks.” You tear yourself away from Ukai. “Okay.” You agreed weakly. You had nothing to loose from accepting the invitation. PART TWO HERE.

[carrionxcamille]

A Year into Life | self para

Who: Camille... And a few margaritas Timing: Current Summary:  As the 1 year anniversary of her resurrection approaches, Camille reflects, researches, and rages. Content warning: references to alcoholism and domestic abuse 

Camille used to be the type of person who knew the expiry date of everything in her fridge. Mostly because she was worried that Jace would eat something off and somehow it would be her fault. But now, with her brain pulled back together by magic and other things on her mind, sometimes she forgot something at the back of the shelf. The lid on the yogurt pot told her it had expired on April 23rd. Which was… How long ago? Just a few days, she thought.

As Camille glances at the date on the calendar a memory hits her like a sack of bricks. A newspaper on a bench on a cold early morning, birds tweeting, a couple of joggers going past in the distance. Camille stumbling out of a church in someone else’s clothes with no idea where she is or what the fuck is going on.

“A year.” She whispers, horrified as the fact registers. “It’s been almost a year.” A cold shiver tingles down her spine and shakes her hands, rattling the yogurt pot she’s still holding. She sets it down on the counter and forgets about it instantly. 

A year of not knowing, of near catatonia, of waking up in a cold sweat frantically feeling for her pulse, of living in a town that gets stranger and scarier by the day, of feeling like her body doesn’t belong to her anymore.

A year since she came back from the dead.

Should she… Celebrate? No. No, that was weird. Maybe a bottle of wine though. Or some margaritas, she had been looking for a good excuse to try that recipe Marley taught her. First birthday seemed like it fit the bill. 

Suddenly, everything felt surreal again. Like it did when she sat in that internet cafe staring at a picture of her face and an article saying they’d found her body. Was everyone in the grocery store staring at her, or was she just paranoid? Did they know? Well, arguably, some of them probably did. Because of the mark on the back of her hand. Camille narrowed her eyes at it as she reached up to grab tequila. That stupid thing. Did it have to be on her hand? She didn’t take issue with the idea of magic- especially something as drastic as had been done to her- leaving a mark, but it was just so visible. Reminded her every time she saw it. 

So she returned home and made margaritas and tried not to think about where her life had been three years ago or wonder how much her sisters still thought about her. She thought about calling someone and inviting them to join her in this evening of absurdity, but Camille didn’t really know who she would call. She really had to work on that- a whole year and no friends? That was a bit pathetic. And okay so she was out of practice because with Jace it had become easier to not have friends than to try and hold those friends far enough away that they never saw the fractures in the marriage, but still. She used to be an excellent hostess, once upon a time. Dinners and parties and gatherings and what have you. She loved floating about a room thanking all her friends for coming, chattering away about inconsequential things. Now she was alone. 

After the first two margaritas that stopped mattering quite as much, and after four Camille was dancing around the living room to the Beach Boys.

Eventually, as tended to happen, the buzz of elation twisted into a drone and Camille found herself lounging on the couch staring at her hands. She could feel her heartbeat in her ears. A year, and who was she? What had she done? No one, nothing. She felt… Well, she sure as hell didn’t feel alive, for all the effort she put into behaving that way. For all the perfume she bought because she was always paranoid about smelling like a corpse. 

Camille Dugar was a ghost. A sad slip of nothing throwing herself against the wall and trying to stick. There had to be a way over this funk. What was holding her back? Why was she still tiptoeing around like there was a drunk man in the next room who’d go mad if she woke him up? 

The first time she’d threatened to leave him, Camille had been angry as all hell.

He hadn’t moved the laundry to the dryer. It was a Friday, she always spent Saturday ironing and putting away the clothes that were washed and dried on Friday. Couldn’t do that if they hadn’t been dried, and it was just another thing to add to her list of the shit she had to do after she got home from work and before she could actually sit down. Move laundry to the dryer, put empty beer bottles in recycling, make dinner, grade homework, check lesson plans, put empty beer bottles in recycling. 

(This was, she acknowledged, not a big deal on its own. The problem arose when this was a battle they had to have every Friday, of course it would turn into a war eventually.) 

So things had gotten heated, and when Jace had turned to walk out Camille had threatened to do the very same. Maybe I should storm out this time. She’d said. Maybe I won’t ever come back. She’d meant it, in the moment. It was the first time she’d said it out loud but certainly not the first time she’d thought it. 

She’d been so mad she was shaking. For a moment there was a terse silence and she thought she’d won. Jace laughed and it made her angrier, and she grabbed her keys and made for the door. He’d apologized then, grabbed her arm and begged her not to leave. For three days after that he was the perfect husband. The balance shifted because Jace realized he needed her. Eventually that had made her feel too guilty, too sad and scared to leave. But for a while that shift made her feel powerful.

Maybe she needed to shift the balance again. Maybe she needed to get mad.

As far as she knew, he’d never outright admitted to killing her, but whatever else Jace had done he sure hadn’t tried to save her life. 

Camille didn’t know. She didn’t know the story, and for a long time she’d told herself it was because reading about her own death was too macabre, too depressing. She had a new life and thinking about the old one was wasting energy. But she was doing that regardless, every day. Maybe knowing nothing except the fact that they’d found her and put Jace behind bars was not enough. 

It was her life, damit. Her death. Her story. 

There was a chance knowing the finer details would actually just make things worse- but honestly, how much worse could things get? She was alone and scared and lost already. Would she stop wondering, if she knew? Would the sound of her skull hitting the bottom step stop echoing in her nightmares if she could put together those final moments for real, and understand what had happened in the months following before she was found?

Five margaritas in, Camille wanted to know. She wanted to be angry. It had to be better than apathy. Knowing the sordid details of how terribly he’d treated her even in death would probably make that happen. Yes, even if it was an anger she could never confront him about, Jace Hawkins deserved for her to be mad at him.

Her laptop sat on the coffee table, the little light blinking, daring her. She grabbed it, booted it up, and sat with it on her lap for a while just wondering if she could handle the potential upset having all this information would cause. It wasn’t like she didn’t already know the most damning thing, right? She’d died at the bottom of her staircase, trying to leave her husband. Didn’t get much more devastating.

There were pages and pages of articles, a lot of them the same story from different news outlets. The publications detailing the trail were at the top of the results, and Camille tabbed a few of them to look at later. First, she wanted to know what the initial response had been. How Jace had behaved before they’d found her, what the public opinion had been.

It was… Surreal, to say the least, and Camille knew it was vain but she kept fixating on which photos of her the article had chosen to use. Very few opted for photos of her with Jace- not that there had ever been many, thank god- and the ones that really insulted her were those that just used her drivers license pic (no one looked good in those!). There was one that had dug up a photo of her at a school fete, laughing as a couple of students tried to drag her onto the bouncy castle. It made her want to cry.

One article in particular focused heavily on how Jace spoke to the press, and Camille scoured youtube for uploads of those moments. His face was hauntingly familiar, and while most people at the time had chalked his bloodshot eyes and sallow complexion up to heartbreak and neglecting himself in the wake of losing his wife, Camille knew the truth. He’d looked rough as hell for years. He denied any and all accusations that their marriage had been less than perfect, until some journalist managed to dig up the report from that one time a neighbor had to call the police because of all their yelling. Then his tune changed, but not by much. A rough patch they’d long since gotten over, he claimed.

“Lying prick.” Camille scoffed, listening to him prattle on while she made another drink. 

Of course, family on both sides did solidify this image by insisting their marriage had always been happy… And how could they not, it was what Camille had always insisted on presenting to them. Perhaps she’d had some part in orchestrating her own downfall after all.

He looked into the camera and pleaded for her to come home, for whoever might have taken her to let her go. His tone was gentle and sweet, his lower lip wobbled every time he said please. Oh, he was pulling out all the charming stops. Yeah, this was a charade she’d seen before. Camille, baby. Please, I love you. Please come home.

“Shutup.” She sneered, slamming her glass down on the table and standing to pace a circle around the sofa. “Shutup Jace. Shut the fuck up!” He stared back at her, unresponsive. The reporter asked how long they’d been married, and he got it wrong. She made a noise of indignation, “there was a photo on the mantle of us on our wedding day and the frame had the fucking date engraved on it you asshole!” 

Apparently the police's favorite theory at first had been that she had run off- with another man, or just to start a new life alone- owing to the fact that some of her clothes were missing and as far as Jace claimed she’d never come home from work that night. The suitcase, what the hell had he done with it? Clearly he hadn’t put her stuff back.

They found it in the attic, not long after finding her body. Clothes still neatly folded inside. 

He hid it. For some reason, that effort broke Camille’s heart all over again. “You son of a bitch.” He hadn’t just watched her fall down the stairs and buried her in a panic. He’d taken the time to hide the suitcase, thought far enough ahead before calling the police about how it would allow for theories that she’d run off. They went through the computer and dug up a deleted file, a letter supposedly typed up by Camille. (But obviously not typed up by Camille.) A letter that said she was leaving and not coming back. “You son of a bitch!” 

There were more youtube videos. Teenagers in their bedrooms discussing her case, putting the timeline together.  Camille was slightly horrified that this seemed to be such a trend, but also morbidly fascinated with watching the coverage of her death. People found video footage of him being interrogated and she delighted in watching him squirm. 

In clips from the trail he looked antsy but exhausted. Right, if they’d kept him locked up he probably couldn’t drink. Cold turkey. She hoped it made him miserable.

In the end, the only thing they couldn’t definitively prove was that he’d pushed her. But they could place her in the house that night, they could prove she was in the trunk of the car. He spent the entire trail claiming she’d fallen. “Then you call an ambulance!” Camille exclaimed, arms thrown out wide as if he was there in-front of her for real, the last argument they could never have. “If your wife falls down the stairs you call an ambulance! You don’t watch her die!” 

Her breath came fast, her pulse was thudding. Camille felt a little unhinged, maybe, but also more real and alive than she had in months. “I hope he fucking rots in that cell.” She muttered as she drained her glass again, echoing the sentiment of one of the comments she’d seen under a video. 

Camille grabbed a glass of water and some leftover stir fry, shut down her laptop, and found some corny lifetime movie to watch. It was late, and she was going to be hungover as shit tomorrow. But her whole body felt like it was humming with an energy she’d been lacking. Okay, so maybe year one hadn’t been perfect, but that shouldn’t be a surprise right? Year two, though. Year two was going to be better. 

[fangirl-on-bitches]

Bittersweet

Javier Peña x Female!Reader.

Word Count: 4k approximately.

Summary: You and Javier have a particular way of saying goodbye, so particular you get a surprise when you get back to the US.

Warning: a lot of cursing, a bit of pregnancy shenanigans, a lot of dialogue and a little messy plot and timelines lol.

A/N: Okay, listen before you continue. When I was younger I used to write, maybe not with the best grammar or the best plot, but sure as hell with a lot of creativity. Now I just can’t be that creative to write a complete fic or hc, so if you find this boring or a waste of time I’m really sorry. If you like this, I appreciate it as I really made an effort to finish it (a crapy ending anyways). I’ll be sincere, I had this idea and couldn’t get it out of my head so I wrote it. I feel like the scenarios aren’t realistic to what could happen in real life (I feel like they are forced or way too dramatic) I really hope I don’t waste your time. (and yes, I chose the name in honor of Pedro’s role in triple frontier)

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You were cursed. Definitely.

You were back in the states, had been for a few weeks, enjoying the warmest sun Miami had to offer along with Connie. You loved relaxing by a peaceful beach after years of chasing after Escobar with your life on the line every hour of every day.

That day you were really excited to wake up and meet Connie to go to the beach, it had been so long since you saw her and little Olivia. You felt at the same time a little uncomfortable with your body that day, bloated and kind of heavy, like there was extra gravity, but the excitement overwhelmed whatever other feeling you might be having.

The beach had some people because it was a nice day, so you lounged along Connie and baby Olivia, eating fried fish with chips as it was beach food. You were laughing at something Connie said about Steve, something about being a pain in the ass, which you agreed with. It was all fun and games until you felt horrible nausea and a pushing need to vomit. Connie, being observant noticed immediately.

“What’s wrong?” before you could answer you ran to the restaurant’s bathroom, puking whatever food you had that day. Connie came close behind you. She gave you a paper towel so you could wipe your mouth.

“Okay, I might be sick.” you admitted flushing the toilet.

Of course, your mood just plummeted to the ground when you were sitting in a private room in the hospital. Connie couldn’t check you, but she was looking for her friend on-call, meanwhile, you looked as baby Liv (as you called Olivia) slept peacefully by your side.

You didn’t like hospitals. They reminded you of your time in Colombia, and although you weren’t shot, your compañeros might have been shot multiple times. There had been too many close calls and so many lives lost, you just got the creeps whenever you heard a gurney moving.

Soon, Connie came back and carried Olivia outside, leaving you with her friend. She presented herself, and asked routine questions. How are you feeling? What happened? Does something hurt? Is your period late? Did you fall and hit your head? Do you have any diseases? Or do you take any medication?

“I do have nausea and I threw up after eating.” She nodded as she took your blood pressure. Then you started thinking. You were thinking really hard.

Your period was late, you didn’t remember how late, but it was late. Two months ago, Steve and you caught Escobar. Steve went straight back home and you had to stay, to finish completing paperwork. Then Javier was back in Colombia to follow the Cali Cartel, but you were assigned back to Miami and couldn’t stay.

To be fair, you were glad to be back home, but you really missed Javier. When shit went down with Los Pepes you were pissed off at Javier. You knew he usually overstepped the line to get intel, but this time he had stepped so far off the line, he wouldn’t be able to see the line.

The night before he left you decided you would drink your consciousness off because you hated to even think that Javier Peña was living in Colombia; after a glass of a really strong Rum and Cola you decided against it and knocked on Javier’s door.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, suggesting that he wasn’t up to listening to more of your nagging. Your head had a million thoughts racing, you wanted to tell him so many things varying from ‘you are an idiot’ to ‘why the fuck did you do this?’ but the only thing you articulate was something like ‘I don’t want you to go’

Javier’s face softened, although you cast down eyes couldn’t actually look at his face, he had stepped aside and invited you inside. “Do you want something to drink?” you shook your head, looking around the apartment. It was almost empty, but it has been pretty empty since the beginning. You sat on the floor, Javier following with a beer in his hand.

“Will you come back?” you asked him, but you already knew the answer.

“I don’t think so, it depends on the higher ups in the states” you nodded, looking at him. You were really going to miss him. “Look, it’s not like we won’t see each other anymore, when you guys catch Escobar-” you laughed humorlessly. How long would that be? Months, another year perhaps? 

Both of you stayed in silence for a while. “I should go.” you told him, standing up, he stood up as well.

“You shouldn’t go.” He told you, squeezing your shoulder tenderly, a familiar touch. You looked at his sweet dark brown eyes, a silly small smile playing on the corners of your lips.

“What do you mean? You have a plane to catch tomorrow.” you remind him, wondering if he was drunk, he clearly wasn’t. His hand, which was still on your shoulder, moved to cup your face. For a second, you were lost and didn’t understand what was happening, until you looked at his eyes again and understood. You didn’t wait for him to lean down, you just wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

You would lie if you have never felt curious as to why every informant in Colombia gave Javier the intel he wanted. After that night you understood why. He was passionate, attentive and a really generous lover. You might have even believed him if he had blurted out an ‘I love you’.

The only reason why you let this happen was because Javier was supposed to stay in the US, officially he wasn’t your (or Steve’s) compañero anymore. And that was true, even when he came back.

“Okay, so your results are in. After you told me you’ve been missing your period for quite a while, I drew some blood to analyze it.”

“Yeah, it must be stress. You know, I worked in Colombia with Connie’s husband and moving back here plus all the work I have to do was really stressful. Also, I had a UTI back in Colombia, I wasn’t drinking enough water and I read that the strain might move my period a little.” you started rambling. For some reason, you felt jittery, almost anxious at the look on the Doctor’s face. She had a grin in her face, really big and excited.

“That may delay your period for two weeks, but it won't magically make it disappear, dear.” She read the results once more and nodded to herself. “As I suspected, you are pregnant.”

“W-w-what?” you mumbled. “But I didn’t pee on the stick.” clearly, your brain had short-circuited.

“I have some pregnancy tests if you wish to take them yourself, but the blood analysis is pretty accurate.” she offered with a nice smile. You nodded and took the box going to the bathroom, trying to focus on reading the instructions.

The stick said you were pregnant. And you knew exactly who was the father.

You sighed at the papers you were reading, the office already empty, way past dinner time. Since catching Escobar, hours were cut short, but to you they were really slow. Steve wasn’t there, he had left a few weeks ago, Javier obviously wasn’t there. It was just you, some files and occasionally some booze to help you relax before sleeping. Thankfully, you would be leaving shortly.

On your way back to the apartment complex you stopped by a grocery store. You needed ice cream, and lots of chocolate, and some chips. Probably some booze too. You had bought a flask of whisky that reminded you of Javier, although whisky might not be your first choice of booze.

That same flask almost fell to the ground when you saw goddam Javier Peña entering his apartment, a big suitcase by his side.

He also noticed you, the dark bags under your eyes and messy hair evidence of your hard work. 

“Oh my god” you whispered, unbelieving. You walked and hugged him, relieved to see him again. “You are back?” you stupidly asked.

“Yeah, they want my intel and help to track down the Cali Cartel.” he answered.

“Well, that’s weird.”

“What?”

“My orders are to finish paperwork and return to Miami. They didn’t tell me to stay to help.”

“Well, it’s a different operation this time, more discreet.” he tried to hint you that it wasn’t just DEA business anymore, it was more a CIA kind of work. You invited him to your apartment, that had two boxes of things you were going to give to charity, you didn’t need all this stuff back home, you already had them.

He explained his situation while you shared the flask of whisky and bid good night like the old times, no kisses or sex, or nothing like that. Which was fine.

Everything was fine for the next few days. Javier even helped you pack your stuff and sort it out. The night before returning home he offered to go to the bar you always went to with Steve and him on Friday’s or Saturday’s (sometimes even a Monday)

Both of you drank like you always had, but instead of bidding goodnight and going to bed separately, you both had sex. Again. It was probably a coping mechanism, the way both of you said goodbye to each other. Such a complicated method.

So, so complex that now you were pregnant.

With a child.

Javier's child.

It had to be his, you only had sex with him within the last 3 months. Since Colombia you hadn’t have sex.

This was bad. It was complicated. You didn’t plan for a child; working at the DEA (chasing after Escobar) left you almost no time to think about dating, much more less building a fucking family. 

Could you do this? Hell yeah, you are an awesome strong woman.

What you couldn’t do was tell Javier.

When you came out the private room, you were fidgeting with your hands, Connie came and took them. “I’m pregnant.” you blurted out. Connie looked at you shocked; then you noticed little baby Olivia wasn’t on her arms.

Steve, in all his blonde mustache glory stood with his daughter on his arms, looking as shocked as Connie. “What?” he asked.

“Who is the father?” Connie inquired.

“What are you doing here?” You asked Steve.

“I came to pick up my wife and daughter for dinner. Why don’t you come with us and tell us more about this?” You nodded out of inertia, but you looked at your hands while walking, Connie hooking her arm with one of yours.

As you sat on traffic, you tentatively touched your belly. It was... normal. No kicking, no large or really hard belly. It was like there was nothing there.

You would have declined dinner if you knew the questionnaire that would come from the Murphy’s. Well, questionnaire would be an exaggeration, but you didn’t really like the single question they were asking.

“Who’s the father?” 

“I- I can’t tell you.”

“Why? We don’t know him?” you sighed and reassigned. You knew they would ask forever.

“Please, please, please you have to promise me you won’t tell anybody. Both of you.” you looked pointedly at Steve. He nodded but held your gaze, trying to figure out what you were really trying to say. A second later he muttered something.

“Jesus fucking christ.”

“What?” Connie asked but soon realized. “Oh, no way. Javier?”

“It’s Javier.” you confirm their suspicions.

“Are you certain?” Connie asked.

“Of course.” you paused and then added. “You can’t tell him Steve.”

“What? Why?” he sounded slightly offended.

“I should tell him first. He should hear it from me.”

“I can’t believe this. The minute I come back home you two just pound at each other.”

“It wasn’t like that, and technically you were still in Colombia the first time.”

“The first time?” he asked with a chuckle, he looked very happy.

“The second time I was the one leaving!” you paused, moving the food around your plate. “How the fuck am I going to tell him? I can’t just call him and be like, ‘hey I’m pregnant and you are the father. How’s the Cali stuff going?’. This kind of news aren’t told over a call.”

“But it’s different, it’s not a normal situation. Javier could be in Colombia for years.” Steve reminded you.

“It wouldn’t make a difference. He can’t come back until his work is done.” You rolled your eyes, there was no good alternative.

“So you plan to just hide this from him?” Connie asked, her look full of pity, if it was for you or Javier, you didn't know.

“Only until I know he’s coming back. I’ll check on him every once in a while. I’ll need you to call him too, Steve. I don’t want him to suspect me.” He sighed but nodded nonetheless. You sighed as well, a million thoughts racing through your head.

You called Javier that same week. Of course, it was unexpected for him but really welcome. Colombia was not rainbows and sunshine. “So how’s the Cartel treating you?”

“It’s a fucking nightmare, but hopefully it won’t take long. I can't talk too much over the phone about this, who knows who might be listening.” he sighed, sounding really 

“Yeah, you are right.” for a minute, you thought about telling him. Then you decided. “Please take care and be careful.”

“Of course compañera.” he assured, you could practically hear the smirk in his lips. After ending the call, you pressed the heels of your palms in your eyes. How in the world were you going to tell him?

–––––– 

A month turned into two, and then five months flew by in the blink of an eye. Javier was not coming back for the time being and your belly was starting to pop. Your head was still working on how in the world were you going to tell Javier, which was the only problem you had right now. It wasn’t even a big problem, if Javier wanted an out of fatherhood he was free to go, but you had been so happy since day two (day one was a full shock) that you honestly didn’t care.

You were getting way too ahead of yourself. Maybe Javi wanted to be a father and he would be really happy with the little baby. But that wasn’t the Javier you knew, and that’s why you were so afraid to tell him. 

Today looked like the best day to tell him. You were going to probably get to know if the little baby was a girl or a boy. You were waiting patiently for him to pick up the call in the hospital public phone. After a while, he picked up.

“Hello?” his voice sounded gruff and stressed.

“Hi, compañero. How are you?” you asked, a hand on your belly.

“As fine as I can be here,” he answered. “What did you want?” he asked abruptly, almost tired of talking to you. It stinged a little.

“I just called to check in…” you lied, maybe it wasn’t the best time to tell him after all.

“I’m going to be as clear as I can. Don’t call me, unless you are fucking dying.” you felt a piercing pain in your throat, a tight knot forming, making it really difficult to talk.

“Fine.” you hissed and hanged the phone, tears slipping down your cheeks. Fucking hormones. Fucking Javier. 

Connie, who was waiting for you anxiously to come back, hugged you. “It’s okay sweetie, it’s okay.” you nodded and wiped your tears.

“I’m okay. I just need to focus on my baby and myself right now.” you told her and rubbed your belly.

“Of course honey.”

––––––– 

It had been a really smooth and sweet pregnancy, you were really happy with your 5th month old baby boy Francisco. He was really sweet, but he had so, so much of his father, the resemblance was uncanny. Deep brown sweet eyes, and a mop of soft brown hair.

Javier had not called you since that horrible last call. You knew he called Steve every once in a while, but you asked Steve please not to tell you anything about him. Both Murphy’s just assumed you had told Javier about the pregnancy and that he had not taken it well.

This was a lie. Javier had no idea you were pregnant, much more less with his child. But he was still in Colombia, so unless you told him he would not hear it from anyone. 

It hurted you deeply, not being able to tell your son who his father was. However, all around your house there were pictures of Steve, Javi and yourself from Colombia. Connie and Olivia were there too, even Carillo. 

Anyways, the baby was too young to notice the absence of his father. Maybe by the time Francisco starts wondering about daddy, Javier would be around the USA to talk.

Your son cooed and asked to be held up, it was time for his nap. Just in time, you thought, Steve was coming over to pick him up as you were going to meet your best friend in an hour or so. Your baby boy soon fell asleep, you held him in against your chest, rocking him gently.

Then the doorbell rang.

“Steve, you are early. Fran just fell asleep.” you told Steve. But it wasn’t Steve. Javier fucking Peña stood in the door way, his eyes looking at your son. You frowned and tried to hide Francisco’s face sneakily from him. “What are you doing here?”

“Hello to you too, compañera.” he said, but his mind was not entirely focused on whatever he was saying. His mind was in the baby, and about how quickly you had moved on.

“Don’t compañera me.” you hissed, in a hushed tone, the baby in your arms sleeping soundly. “Come in.” you told him, as you turned around to leave your baby on his cradle. 

Javier looked around, looking for any sign of the baby’s father. But he only found pictures of you, Steve, Connie, baby Olivia and other people he knew. Then he started thinking, what if the baby was his child?

No, that’s not possible. 

“So?” you asked, really anxious. You had no idea he would be here. You were not prepared for this. But really, would you ever be prepared?

“I came to apologize.�� Javier simply said, his hands on his hips.

“Took you a little long.” you said, rubbing your hands together. “If you apologized sooner I could have…”

“Could have what?” you exhaled and sighed, trying not to cry. 

“You are not supposed to be here.” you whisper, your voice cracking softly as you sit on your sofa. Javier sat by your side and you felt the weight of your decisions constrict your chest, making it harder to breath.

You were a horrible, horrible person. How could you deny him knowing he was a father? That he had a child? It didn’t matter how angry you felt, or how much of an asshole he had been. The baby was made by both of you. He had the right to know.

“I’m sorry.” he was not sure why, but he really was sorry. You shook your head, and started to tell him that you were sorry, repeating like a prayer. “Hey, hey” he tried to calm you down, rubbing his hands up and down your back. “Breath, baby. Breath.” you complied, breathing deeply. After a minute of silence you took his rough big hand and held it, squeezing it slightly.

“Javier, I got news for you.” you started, and felt his hand tense. “The baby boy, Francisco, he’s your son, our son.” He looked at you, his eyes wide, looking like a deer in the headlights. “That time I called you, I was pregnant, and I wanted to tell you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me after?”

“You told me not to call you unless I was fucking dying.” you exhaled and stood up. “Look you don’t have to be involved if you don’t want to, I had Francisco because I wanted to, but I didn't expect anything from you.”

“Not getting involved? What are you talking about?” he asked offended.

“I’m sorry, and I mean no offense, but you don't strike as the kind of guy who would want a family, or children.”

“And what the fuck do you know?” he raised his voice a little, making you cringe a little.

“I’m sorry, and I can’t do anything to return back time.” you told him sincerely. A loud whine was heard from your room, where the crib was. You sighed and went to your room, to calm Francisco down. Unbeknownst to you, Javier followed you looking how you delicately held him and rocked him. The baby’s eyes were still closed, he was just a little disturbed.

You looked at the door frame, Javier stood there, looking at the child. You walked to him, your intentions clear. “Do you want to hold him?” you asked your voice soft and soothing. Javier gulped, feeling suddenly nervous, he didn’t know how to hold a baby, what if he dropped him? “Don’t worry, I’ll help.” you offered, a kind smile in your face.

Javier extended his arms and you walked closer, softly passing your son to Javier’s big arms. Francisco whined a little and Javier’s face cringed, making you smile. “Hold him against you,” you helped, gently pushing his arms, closer to his chest. Francisco was fast asleep again. Javier just looked at him, marveled. You guide him to the sofa, making him sit there with your son. “I’ll be right back.” you tell him, and at the panicked face he made, you had to quiet your laugh. “You’ll be fine.”

You called your best friend, telling her you wouldn’t be able to meet her. When you stepped back on the living room, someone knocked on the door, it must be Steve. You opened the door and gestured to him to be quiet, pointing at the couch, were Javi sat (finally) relaxed.

Steve did not enter the house as you promised to call later. You returned to the living room and sat beside them, contemplating how peaceful they looked. Javier had moved your son, laying him against his broad chest. You caressed the baby’s hair, looking at him with doe eyes.

“Want to stay for dinner?” you asked standing up. Javier nodded and then lay his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes. You smiled and entered your bedroom to change your clothes into something more comfortable.

You had nothing figured out, but you were happy knowing your son had a loving father to grow up with. You’ll figure your relationship out (if there was going to be one).

After some minutes, you heard some gurgles coming from the living room. Javi fell asleep, and Francisco was wide awake, looking at his father curiously, moving his little hands. You took the baby from him, kissing his chubby face. “Your daddy is sleeping, baby. C’mon, let’s give you some mashed banana.” you told him, caressing Javier’s hair back.

You spent some long 20 minutes feeding and nursing your baby boy while you also checked dinner. Javier, still fast asleep on the couch, woke up with a start, touching his chest, as if missing something. “Where’s the baby?” he asked, looking around.

“He’s here, Javier.” you told him from the kitchen, a silly smile on your face. Javier sat by the table, feeling self conscious at the baby’s gaze over him. His son’s arms moved up and down, talking unintelligible gibberish. “He likes you.” you commented, cleaning his chubby face. Javier held his hand out and Francisco took one of his fingers, squeezing with his baby strength. Javi’s heart skipped a beat.

Eating together was really weird, but at the same time it felt right. You noticed Javier’s tired face and wondered if he came straight from the airport. So you asked, sparking some conversation. You talked about what finally happened with the Cali Cartel.

“You got a place to stay?” you asked, but you knew the answer. “You can stay here if you want. Hotel’s are really expensive right now.”

“You sure?” you nodded. You forgot how well you clicked with Javier, it was a nice reminder.

He helped you with the dishes, and then went to shower, getting his suitcase for clean clothes. You prepared Francisco for bed, giving him his formula bottle after changing his diapers.

You saw Javier getting out of the bathroom, and thankfully had the decency to wear full pajamas, you would have fainted at the view of his bare chest.

“So, I’ll go to the couch, do you have a blanket?”

“What are you talking about?” you asked. “I was going to tell you to sleep in the bed with me. We already shared a bed before, so I don’t see a problem. Plus, I could use the help if Francisco wakes up.” you commented with a cocky smirk. You usually wore just a t-shirt to bed, but today you had to use full pajamas, like Javi did.

“Okay.” Javier said, not really convinced. Francisco was asleep already, his father caressed his little hand with his finger. You were already under the covers, ready to hit the bed, Javier looked tired too.

He laid down, under the covers as well, looking at the ceiling. He moved looking at you, you were both face to face, generous space between both of you. “I’m sorry.” You shook your head, and took his hands on yours.

“Sleep Javi, you look tired.” you kissed the back of his hands and closed your eyes, sleep getting the best of you. Javi smiled, his face soft, getting a little closer, leaving his hand on yours, then he shut his eyes. He had never felt more at home. 

[riofann]

Meet The Parents

GIF by: @leelakoiwolff​

A/N: Part of The Spooky Series

Warnings: some violence, cursing, mentions of smut, 18+ crowd

Things between you and your boyfriend Oscar were not going so great. The honeymoon phase was over and now it just seemed like all you two did was argue over dumb shit. You actually hadn’t talked or texted him in over a week after your last blow up, both of you had too much pride to back down. However today was ‘Santos Day’ and there was going to be a big party at Spooky’s house. All the Santos would be in attendance.

You and Letti had decided to bake a cake in celebration

“What type of cake should we bake?” she asked

“We should make it like the Santos sign, the cross and all”

“Oh yea! We should, good idea!” 

You both rush to the grocery store to grab all the ingredients you simply didn’t have enough at home. 

“How are things between you and Spook?” Letti asked

You shrug “I don’t know haven’t heard from him”

“Well hopefully with ‘Santos Day’ being today it will break the ice and we can double date again!” She was Sad Eyes' girlfriend. Very sweet young lady cared for Sad Eyes and Santos like they were her family. 

“Yea...” you said agreeing but deep down you weren’t so sure. The argument you had was so stupid you couldn’t even remember how it started, but it did, and one thing led to another which resulted in Oscar grabbing his things and leaving slamming your condo door behind him. 

~~~~As the time approaches you both get ready. You didn’t put much effort into your outfit, black jeans white top, and converse, you weren’t planning on staying anyway. You had a back up plan texting your cousin Sasha earlier in the day making plans to hang out with her and her boo. Even if it was third wheeling, you’re positive it would be better than having to pretend all was okay between you and Oscar. 

As you both arrive there are cars all over the street so finding parking was quite difficult. You had to walk a bit before you got to the house carrying cake in hand. 

“HHHEEEYYY!” Letti greets as she enters “Look what we brought!”

“Damn thats a cake?” Cesar asked 

“Yup we made it for ‘Santos Day’”

“Damn!”  

“Yo Spook!” Lucky one of his men called him to “Get in here!” 

Oscar slowly rose from his chair in the back of the house and walked in

“Look at the cake!” Lucky speaks to him pulling him in the direction of the cake 

(A/N:The cake is a replica of Cesar’s back tattoo, with cupcakes spelling out Happy Santos Day) 

“We made you a cake for ‘Santos Day’!” Letti says exited

“Hope you like it!” you added 

“Looks good, before we eat it call everybody into the house” Oscar said

You stood next to Letti and watched him give a speech, thanking The Santos for being his make up family and watching over his little brother Cesar. Afterwards it took you and Letti some time to cut and distribute either cupcakes or cake pieces to everyone, by the time you were done both Oscar and Sad Eyes had migrated back to their chairs in the back of the house and were just relaxing listening to conversations. Letti left to be by Sad Eyes before you did. You were doing a little bit more cleaning there were beer bottles and cans everywhere, red solo cups all over. You just wanted the place to be a little bit neater. 

When you step out to find the crew there's a couple girls sitting close to Oscar, flirting with him this was normal you had gotten used to it by now. 

All the ‘important’ Santos sat in the circle, as you approached the group a few attempted to offer you their seat but you declined and made your way to Oscar.

You bent over next to him putting your hand on his shoulder. “Hey!” he gave you that notorious mug and you quickly removed your arm, so much for breaking the ice he was still mad at you, “I'm gonna go, I’ll see you later okay?” He didn't respond, just give you a look you couldn’t read besides anger and irritation. “bye babe” you say before kissing his cheek

“Bye guys Happy ‘Santos Day’ drink up be merry yea?”  you speak to the group

“Where you going?” Letti asked 

“Yea what's up with that?” Sad Eyes chimed in

“Come on you can’t leave” someone else spoke up

“Sorry guys, my cousin Sasha and I made plans. I'll see you guys later.” you wave goodbye and quickly make your way down the driveway. Everyone knew there was bad blood between you two but nobody knew exactly what.

All eyes turned back to Oscar, who you feel boring a hole into your back

“Watch out” Letti said to Sad Eyes as she stood from his lap. “Y/N!” she called to you by this time you were walking down the street to your car. When she caught up you were wiping away your tears

“Yea!”

“You can’t leave, talk to him”

“I’m tired of being the one who always surrenders Aletticia!” you vent

“Y/N come on you guys are good together”

“Maybe we aren't suppo...”

Before you can finish Oscar had caught up with you two and was standing a few feet back “What’chu guys talking about?”

You turned to look the other way while wiping away your tears 

“Nothing Spooky we’ll be in soon” Letti answers

“I gotta go” you say hugging Letti “I’ll talk to you later” 

“Vamos” Oscar called tilting his head backwards

Letti begun to walk towards him 

“Not’chu,” he points at you “You, Y/N vamos” “Oscar I have...” you protest 

He interrupts once again “Cancel them”  he said stepping closer 

“Fine” you said walking towards your boyfriend, you had given up and you knew if you made this an issue things might get worse 

“AAAYYEE you came back!” Sad Eyes celebrates

“Have a seat” Oscar says to you as you approach his chair 

“Yea!”  you say forcing a smile 

You text your cousin canceling movie night plans it worked out for her anyway, she was getting hot and heavy with her boo thing. 

When Oscar returns he has another beer bottle in hand and a red solo cup “Here” he said handing you the drink. “Taste it”  He knew beer wasn’t your thing, you hated it, you would rather go for the liquor. 

You take a sip and smile. He made it just how you like, sweet. “It's good thanks”

He pulls you to stand up before sitting down on the chair and pulling you on his lap. He adjusts a bit and you sit still, your back is straight up you haven’t relaxed into him yet, your body is tense against his. 

“You comfy?” he asks close to your ear

“Mhmm” you nod taking a sip 

“Ven aquí”  he says pulling you closer to him practically forcing you to lay on him wrapping one arm around you resting his hand on your thigh

You don’t make a noise but just sit and sip on your drink. You didn’t do well with confrontation let alone a full blown in your face argument. You always needed verbal confirmation that things were good between you two before you felt at ease again. 

Your phone vibrates and it's a text from Letti

Letti: TALK. TO. HIM

You look up at her scolding you. You know Oscar has seen the text because he chuckles out of nowhere. 

You sigh and run your fingers through your hair. 

“Changed your hair?” 

“Yea” you had made it lighter and added a few highlights “you like it?” 

“It's cool,” he could care less you could be bald and he would still think you were the baddest in the group “what’chu been up to?” 

“Just work” you answer curtly

He nods and takes a pull from his blunt. He blows out the smoke. 

Out of nowhere you squeal from the sensation that just hit you causing the group to look at you “Oscar!” You say smiling now trying to get out of his lap, he was pinching your sides knowing they are your ticklish spots

“What?” he asks smiling while he pinches your side again causing you to squeal 

“Stop” you squirming around his lap

“Talk to me then, like Letti said”

“About what?” you ask looking in his eyes 

“Anything”

“Okay what happened to your hand?” you ask the obvious

“Don’t worry about it”

You shrug “I have no other questions”

“I got a question”

“Okay”

It takes him a moment before he finally speaks “How come i ain’t never met any of your family only your grandma who used to live down the street”

You turn to look at him and hold a puzzling look

“What cat got your tongue?”

“No,” you were putting two and two together  “is that why you're mad at me?”

“Answer the question.” he responds calmly before taking another pull from his blunt

“You answer the question!” you could really be difficult to deal with sometimes. 

“I mean we been dating what six, seven months you’ve met my entire Santos crew i don’t  even know your moms first name”

“I don’t know” you shrug “we have never really talked about it, i didn't think you cared”

“You embarrassed of me or something?” his facial expression changed to a serious one

“No! I am not”

“So whats up then?”

“We literally haven’t talked about meeting my parents i didn't think it mattered but i am not embarrassed of you! Don't think that!” 

“So when can i meet them?” he asks challenging you

“Uh” you hesitate before answering “I can text them and find out when would be a good time”

“Do it then”

“Now?” 

He nods “Yea”

“Its one in the morning”

“So? When they wake up they’ll see it”

“Okay” you say pulling out your phone and type the message “happy?” you ask showing him the text 

He raises his brow and shakes his head looking away 

“Hey” you say, making him look at you. “I am not embarrassed of you and I’m sorry if i made you feel that way.” 

“It’s cool, give me a kiss”

You leaned in to plant kisses on his lips. You two always did 3 meaningful kisses followed by an eskimo kiss

“There we go there we go!” Baldie, another one of his men, claps “WHOO that’s what we want to see!” You both flick him off before returning to the conversation. 

~~~~~A date was finally set for Friday night. Oscar was to pick you up from your condo and you were both to arrive by 7PM.

“Come on Y/N we are late!” he fusses, he was so anal about time

“It’s fine i guarantee you my mom is waiting for me to help her cook”

“Yea but i don't want my first impression to be bad i already got strikes against me”

“Like what?”

He counts on his fingers “Like my tattoos, my occupation, my record”

You shrug “I dont care about those”

“But your parents will”

“Are you dating them or me?” you challenge 

“Ay! Esta mujer! Vamos!”

“Okay! okay! im done sheesh!”

You both don't say much during your ride there. Truth be told you were both nervous. When you pull up to the affluent community, Oscar feels his nerves raging he didn’t care about them not liking him but what if they influenced you to feel the same?

He parks the car looking at the houses around him 

“DAMN you lived like this?” He asked 

“Yea” you shrug it was nothing special to you but for someone who grew up like Oscar it was something

“Ready?” you ask as you hold his hand pulling him towards the house

You open the door and call out, “Mom?” the dogs start barking, two Samoyeds run up, “Hi Tweety, Hi Sylvester, how are you I missed you!”  you greet them, Oscar does the same bending down to rub their heads, “Mom? Dad?”

You hear talking further into the house “they must be in the kitchen come on” 

You walk through the house and find them deep in conversation, in the kitchen 

“Hey mom, hi dad”

“Ahh Y/N you finally made it!” your dad comments he stands up and  glances at his watch. Oscar could pinch you right there “right on time!” He walks up and gives you a hug

“Hi sweety” your mom chimes in, giving you a hug too

“Hi mom this is Oscar, my boyfriend, Oscar my mom and dad Jennifer and Nicolas” 

“Nice to meet you son, come here” your dad said pulling him in for a hug

“Hi give me a hug too” 

“Nice to meet you guys”

“You guys got here right on time, dinner is almost ready! Y/N why don’t you help your mom finish up” he speaks to you before turning to Oscar  “let's go for a chat shall we? What's your poison?” your dad asked

“I'm good with anything sir,” this was his first time meeting parents. “Oh no, Call me Nicolas”

The two men walk away and your mom’s smile drops

“Really Y/N?”

“What mom?”  you say preparing yourself 

“Him? Of all people Him?” 

“Yes HIM” 

“What about Brett”

“Oh you mean the piece of shit who cheated on me repeatedly?”

She huffed handing you the salad bowl “what do you think is gonna happen, hmm? That you two can live happily ever after?”

“Why can't we live happily in the moment?” you argue 

“How long have you been dating?”

“Almost 7 months”  you mumble 

“7 MONTHS!” 

On the patio Oscar and your dad’s head snap at the direction of the scream

“Don’t mind them so tell me about yourself Oscar,” he motions to his cheek indicating the same spot as Oscar’s tattoo “is that tattoo real?”

“Yes” 

“Killed someone? That's what that means right?”

Oscar adjusts in his seat “Something like that?” he wasn’t sure how much he should reveal of himself. 

“Well did you?”

“No, attempted, self defense” he takes a sip of his whiskey

“When did you get out?”

“Bout a year ago”

Your dad nodded as he analyzed his outfit. You had told Oscar to be his true self and not change a thing, so he was dressed in his Cholo garb

“The other tattoo?” He turns so your dad can see all of it “Santos” “Your gang?”

“Yea”

Your dad adjusts in his seat “So what plans do you have for yourself Oscar? Do you plan on being in a gang your whole life?”

“Honestly?” he was going to reveal his true feelings to another person, that would make two, you and your dad. 

“Yea honestly”

“Honestly im kinda tired of it, trying to figure out how to get out but things are kind of complex”

“How’d you get involved?” 

Oscar tells him the family history all of it, might as well tell him now and hold nothing back 

“Wow i'm sorry to hear that must have been rough”

He shrugs “I made it through”

“How long have you been dating my daughter”

“7 months”

“Wow! She kept you hidden for 7 months, we didn’t even know, as much as she came over we would have never known.”

“Yea it was my idea, for us to meet” 

Your dad nodded, “I know you know my concern is my daughter’s safety at all times” 

“She's safe with me”

“I don’t question her being safe with you. It's been 7 months and she hasn’t come back with a scratch on her. My concern is how involved she is in your gang life”

“She's not” 

“She's not?”

“No she knows what we do but i’ve never asked her to step in and do something on behalf of the gang”

“Okay good because my concern is not so much that you two are dating more or don't throw your life away because of loyalty to..”

Oscar cuts him off knowing where the conversation was going. “I get it. I would never ask her to do that. I actually want my brother to leave the gang life too”

“Well good i’m glad we have an understanding”

“Honey!” your mom calls from the patio door

“Perfect timing again! Come on Oscar let's go eat! I hope you like italian” 

They both stood up and begin to walk slowly towards the kitchen

“If you ever need anything, in regards to your exit from your uh ‘club’ let me know and i will see what i can do”

“Thank you, I appreciate that”

“No problem anytime my friend, anytime”

Dinner was awkward between you and your mom.  There was a huge argument over you dating Oscar, but otherwise the conversation was kept light. Afterwards you both hang around, allowing mostly your mom to get to know him better before you leave. 

You both get in and say nothing for a few minutes until you hit the highway. 

“What did you and my dad talk about?” you ask 

“Don't worry about it” he says looking over at you flashing a smile

You knew that was good news you didn’t need to know the details

“What was that screaming we heard?” he asks you 

“Oh uh my mom was upset that i kept you hidden for almost 7 months”

“Did you tell her it was your fault?”

“YES” you roll your eyes

“What did she say?”

“She wasn’t happy” 

“And?” he knew that wasn’t all of it

“And said other things you know typical mom stuff” 

“She doesn’t like me huh?” he says knowing the truth you were hiding

“Yet, doesn't like you yet”

Your mind drifts off to the conversation in the kitchen

“7 MONTHS!”

“Mom!” you didn’t want Oscar to hear you two

“What? 7 fucking months you’ve been dating that!....that!...” 

“Human being” you cut her off before she said something else more degrading

“Why would you throw your life away?” she now stands across from you 

“I am not throwing my life away I still work at the firm, my behavior hasn’t changed, He hasn't asked me to do anything”

“Yet”

“Oh my god of course”

“Yet Y/N! What if you are in danger?” “He will protect me!”

“How? By brandishing a gun and shooting it? Then what about you huh? If you get shot?”

“I won't”

“Yet”

“Mom!”

“Yet Y/N do not mom me! I knew i shouldn’t have allowed you to go visit your grandmother”

“He is not that type of person!”

“YET!”

“Are you serious right now?”

She moves to stand closer to you “Riddle me this. Are you willing to pull out a gun and shoot?”

“IF I HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF YES”

“What about him? Huh? Are you willing to shoot someone on his behalf?”

You shrug “Yes why not?” 

“So you're just gonna throw your life away like that?”

“Mom, dad has guns, are you telling me if some person came to hurt you guys you wouldn't defend yourself and dad?”

“I'm not saying that, what I'm saying is when you associate yourself with people like him it's hard for society to see your true intentions, you will be reduced to nothing but a gang banger girlfriend.”

“Mom can you give him a chance, please!” 

“And he has a teardrop tattoo! So that means he has done time in prison?”

“Yea so what?” you shrug She stood back shocked by your nonchalant attitude“Y/N i honestly don’t know who you are anymore!” 

“I was the same daughter who came to visit last week. You didn’t have concerns about my person then!” 

“Because you were hiding him from me!” 

“Because I knew you would react like this!”

She threw her hands up in frustration “Y/N I can’t do this with you!” “Mom, I don't want to date rich guys. I want to date regular people. All the money we had and i still ended up depressed with anxiety and all the boys and men I have dated they didn't care about me the way he does. So can you please just give him a chance?” you beg

She scoffed “and you think you’re so special huh?” “Yes!” 

“I can't believe you. I am very disappointed in you. I raised you better!”

“This is why i kept him a secret”

She scoffs “don’t put this on me!”

“Fine it's my fault i'm a shitty daughter i’m a big disappointment. Sorry i couldn’t find a rich guy to fuck like you did” you argue back

You feel a sting across your face, “typical” you say as you hold your cheek. This was part of the reason you moved out. You two just couldn’t seem to get along. 

“You watch your tone!” she threatens now squaring up with you, waving her finger in your face

You take a deep breath and move back “You seem to easily forget where you grew up.” You wipe away the tears. Your voice breaks as you speak “I don’t need your approval. I don't need dad's approval. I really care about him, mother, he makes me happy, he takes care of me, he keeps me safe, isn't that all that matters?”

“What if he gets locked up?”

You shrug “Then he gets locked up!” 

“Are you gonna wait 10 years? Waste your life away waiting for some thug to get out of jail before you live life?”

You take in a deep breath before you speak “He wouldn't let me do that. We already discussed this. As soon as he goes to jail we are done. And that's part of the reason why he is trying so hard to NOT go back”

“I don't know what to say”

“Just give him a chance. I tried it your way I really did. But the men of today aren’t like dad, the rich spoiled men aren’t like dad they don’t care and they all treated me like shit. Oscar has never done that to me”

“When all of this comes crashing down don’t ever say, i never warned you”

“That's okay i know dad has my back even though you don’t” you say as you walk away 

“Y/N!” she huffed as you walked away. 

“Y/N!” Oscar calls your name 

“Hmm!?” you say turning to face him  He rubs on your thigh “You okay bebita?” 

“Mhmm!” you hum taking his hand into yours

“I asked what you want to do? My place or yours?”

You shrug “doesn’t matter to me.”

He nods heading over to your place. 

The rest of the night goes smoothly but you can’t seem to get your mind off of the conversation you and your mom had. You don’t really sleep but listen to him snore lightly. Maybe your mom is right. Were you being that naive?  It was easier to pretend when your parents didn’t know anything but now it felt like reality was hitting you hard. And you start to remember the run-ins with The Prophets and how things were fine one second and the next it was war. You think about the gun he gifted you to protect yourself, it stayed in the night stand drawer.  He has shown you how to shoot it, how to load it, how to clean it, unjam it, all of that. What about your safety? You lived in a condo downtown with parking underneath the building, you started to wonder if he had been followed to your place, What about you? Had you been followed? Do his enemies know where you live? Do they know the car you drive? Should you get another car? What about your job? Your friends? Now your parents.  It was all too overwhelming and you didn’t have concrete answers for all it. 

When morning arrives you ease your way out of bed careful to not wake him up, you sit in the living room staring at the walls drinking tea, deep in thought. When you hear him wake up you rush to the kitchen pretending to make something for breakfast, so you pull out eggs, bacon, and fruit. 

“Morning” he greets you with sleep laced in his voice, you loved his sleepy voice 

“Hey good morning”

“Kiss” he states leaning down for your 3 kisses and Eskimo kiss “mmm making me breakfast?”

“Yes!”

He smacks your ass 

“Hey!” You say holding onto it

He smirks and you know that look all too well “what if i only want you for breakfast?” he asks picking you up placing you on the counter

“I’m not food”

“Speak for yourself”

You giggle as he bombards your neck and lips with kisses “baabbee” you whine

“Hmm?” he hums paying you no mind, he was preoccupied

“I have to cook”

“My meal is hot and ready” he says cupping your pussy

You erupt in laughter

“No seriously” you say pushing him away

“Why you being stingy?” he pouts playfully

You lean down to kiss his lips “I am not!” “You know i need it at least 3 times a week!”

“You got it 4 times this week” you counter back

“I can’t help myself it's so good, you got me feenin”

“Really Oscar”

“Plus 1 of them was a quickie so it didn’t count” 

“You came! So it actually does count” 

“Okay how ‘bout we go for the record do it all 7 days?” 

You laugh at his proposal, but you’re becoming weak to the temptation, he knows what buttons to push to get you going. The spatula you're holding drops to the floor, a result of you wanting to pull him in closer. He pulls you forward so your bottom half is hanging off the edge, he gently pushes you down on the cold counter. With one swift move he removes your shorts and underwear. You wrap your legs around his body so you don’t feel like you’re going to fall. He rubs up and down your thighs lightly, he knows you're anticipating  his next move. You roll your hips against his growing hardness. He reaches down and flicks your clit  with this thumb causing you to jolt away from him.

He grabs you holding you in place “don't run, i’m flicking the bean over here”

You can’t help but laugh, sex with him was just as goofy as it was intimate 

You watch as he returns his thumb to its place right on your clit and starts rubbing it in circular motions 

“I think i’m in love” he comments

“Are you talking to me or it?” you ask now curious 

“Shit i don’t know” he answers not looking up at you, he was mesmerized 

Before things get going his phone rings he groans in frustration but he is on a mission. It stops ringing and you hear it chiming meaning someone was texting him before it rings again this time you grab his wrist

“It could be important.”  It is important, phone calls signaled trouble

“Fuck men i can’t win!” he complains as he walks away from you. He picks up the phone and closes the door. You can’t hear much but after a few minutes he exits fully dressed. Gotta go

“Okay be safe” 

“I need my kisses,”  he says leaning in to give you a kiss. It didn’t matter how bad things were, he wasn't going to leave without getting his 3 kisses and nose kiss. You two actually argued about it once. He called them his ‘good luck kisses.’

A/N: as always please let me know what you think

[memory-hoarder]

WARNING (LONG POST AHEAD)

I turn off the lights, scrolled my phone and clicked the Spotify app currently listening to (calming acoustic) 10: 05 PM, best time to unleashed all emotions that piled up from nowhere. I covered myself with a huge blanket and placed the laptop on my lap and decided to visit my page. I know, I'm being inactive lately but I'm doing my best to update my journal publicly to remind me of my long absences.

Tonight, I decided to post the questions I received a night before my birthday celebrated. I kept this on my file for a month now. Admittedly, this is the huge decision I made on my birthday. So, I asked a random people on my messenger lists - some are my work colleagues while others are acquaintances. At first, I am hesitant to ask for favor to anyone but I did. Well, I guess it was successful though I received different reactions - some confused and thought I was making fun while others are game on to sent their questions. Obviously, it took days for me to answered cos it turns out that I wasn't prepared myself for few questions that somehow affects me literally.

The twist here is I am not allow to send my answer to their questions. However, I can answer it through this journal. Which I described as bravery.

Here are some of the questions:

How’s Life? How’s Life?

A question that been asked me twice. Well, this year was the great sadness of my life that challenged me mentally, emotionally and drained me physically. Sometimes a mere struggle on financially. I’m doing fine but lots of times I seriously breaking down especially the trauma of what happened 8 months ago. But today, I accepted the fact and slowly healing me and appreciate what really God’s intention and plan for my life.

Are you happy right now?

Not sure how to put it into words but there is no reason not to be happy. Right? If you just appreciate the life you are living right now or even the smallest thing that makes you smile or giggle I guess there is no reason to be sad at all. Although, lots of times I felt happy, sad, angry or lost. But there are still lots of reasons to celebrate or be joyful too. I juts let myself felt all the emotions that life wanted me to experienced to remind me that I indeed exist. There are people who could bring me joy and sadness at the same time but all I know they are all part of my journey.

Have you ever missed me before we lost our communication? Do you consider me as true friend?

Of course, I do. I miss the old you the person who I genuinely treasured during my college days. And, you are one of the reasons why I indeed survived college. I just don’t understand why we both let this friendship died. Was it because we no longer catch up? But, how I hope building friendship again will no longer hard as I imagined. But, please know that you became part of my story. I always count on you whenever I am sad and confused. I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts because I know you will never judge me. Hope to see you again soon. Take care of yourself!

Why there are times you don’t have the mood to talk?

Because, I read my surroundings and I feel comfortable being alone not to isolate but to process my own thoughts with myself which my normal thing growing up and I choose this way - became aloof at times not wanted to talk to anyone or go out. It makes me sad to think only few understand my personality. However, I can't just normalize this because of extrovert people I knew. I don’t have mood to talk and I push away people closed to me because I find a happy place being alone. Its not sad or dark what it gives me is peace of mind that no on can offer.

Would you like to change your past or stay on your present path? Why and why not?

I believed majority will choose the past, we all wanted to change one thing that we regret of doing - apologies, goodbye's, places to travel, opportunities we must have and other important things we slip away that is why I choose the past over my present. One thing I am eager to experience all over again is my mom's precious life, only if I had the power to bring her back. I was just 16 years old when she died, and I think the years of her being a mother to us will never be enough. However, her life is a blessing and all the valuable teachings that she imparted on me and to my siblings will remain on us forever. How I wish for her to at least see as growing up especially my brother that she spoiled a lot, and for us to give back all the things she deserved. I imagined date her on a restaurant, buy her clothes, treat her to the salon or accompany her on the grocery store. I also wanted to visit the past to catch up with my high school friends – Mira and Jeno, I will never forget how they literally brings me deep joy and the reason I am early bird during junior high because of the dare. I just missed the sound of Jeno's sense of humor, I treated her more than a friend rather a sister and it broke me when I received the news that he's gone. I was not there for him nor visit his and mom's grave for years now. I wanted to comfort Mira, but I am too far away and impossible to have my own money for my flight expenses. What I did is to cried and prayed for his soul. All of the good memories flashed back once more yet I realized God might took away two beautiful souls in my life but I am confident they watching over and guiding me through life.

I am or was curious regarding James situation, did it ever cross your mind you regret James being your boyfriend?

In all of the questions I received this one hits me hard to the core. For everyone’s knowledge James and I are in a relationship for over 4 years now. Just like other couples we did fight over little things yet we matured and grow together. One thing I really loved about James Charlie is how kind and pure his heart. He helps people as long as he can even himself are struggling to live. Not to mention his over confidence that I am jealous of. I guess, because of how friendly and inviting his amour. Also, a talented one he knows how to dance, sing and imitate different kinds of sounds, He’s grammar and vocabulary are lit. He can also play guitar very well, draw portrait’s and even writing a poems. He knew, he won my heart through his creative abilities. I was also surprised how he interested over history of aliens, bermuda triangle, mermaids and what I consistently heard of the Pyramid of Giza, life documentaries and other related history of it. I find him sexy whenever he talked about some of it. Our age gap is never an issue on our relationship and I am lucky that he guided me on everything, considered my opinions or thoughts and when I freaked out badly which occasionally happened he handle me perfectly and I appreciated his temperament level during my anxiety attacks or whenever I choose to isolate myself him being shut off. He understood me in my own terms and be myself. Yet relationship will test your loved from one another, there were also things that I don’t like of him doing however James does listened to me. He listens to advises either coming from me or from other people that cared for him. He is a vocal person, that one thing that I fall for him is his sense of humor. I guess talkative and being clingy towards person is his nature especially growing up in a broken family. Consistent communication is a key. I remembered he told me that I was different to all the girls she dated on his past life. That I am out of his league, he doesn’t know that he is of out my league too but when I know him deeply he taught me lessons in life and felt his warm love. Over the course of our relationship he respect the limitless of our love language and he accepted and understood the love without intimacy is a different level of love and respect and from his perspective I wanted everyone to know that James has a huge respect towards me, my beliefs and reasons. How someone could wait for something that he can easily took away something on his past relationship. Our relationship is somehow changed us individually into a better person. Getting older, he became dreamer and goal oriented. I witnessed all his hard work, that he celebrated through silence. He wanted to build home and think of small business that will be our retirement in the future. How many kids we wanted or how many dogs we will going to breed. I guess, some people misunderstood James for so long, how miserable life that no one to talk and curse during your victories or failures? Friends and addiction in alcohol and other stuff are his way of escaped, escape from the reality that lead him to take his own precious life once. I know how difficult life for him way back on his early 20’s that he fought all his battle alone and how he overcome his depression and addiction without someone to lean on. And nowadays, everything makes sense to me that I realize being independent sometimes is not a choice but more on a decision. decision and accepting no one will guide you through your journey so you have to do it alone either it brings you sadness or happiness in a process, not to count living alone and make money all by yourself. I agreed he might do bad decision in life but that doesn’t mean his life has no purpose at all. Instead, God is confident that he will win this battle not for everyone, not for the sake of me or our relationship but for himself. As for our current situation, I know being with him and fight through the end will inspired him a lot. Yes, he currently working on his self and will prove to everyone when the time comes that he will be able to regain his new

life and continue living.

We introverts, tend to think a lot, like really overthink a lot. What do you mostly overthink and how deep? Deep, like does it leads you to think more negatively resulting to depression? (mild depression, maybe).

I overthink some scenarios on my head when it really affects my whole being and when every time I think of it, obviously it trigger my anxiety not depression I guess. I can recall one or two hard situations that happened to me, and I know it wasn’t me trying to act that way. I even punished myself and literally breakdown trying to hurt myself, call me freak or whatever cos now I asked myself too how I even allowed myself to did terrible things, because anxiety creeping on me and telling me to do it. But, mostly I think of is my future and myself – deep that it scared me a lot. I have lot of questions of this world that I keep on searching by myself until now.

Why it took for you to share your problems?

Honestly, when I’m having a serious problem I am not confident to share to anybody except to my family who already knew. It took too long because advises no longer work for me, I listened because it was normal people do – advise and advise. Maybe, it was me who are picky to share my problem with, sometimes people listened but never in heart. Not all people deserve to know your struggle and during your lowest times, I have my own terms of coping so you do.

How do you maintain your petite body? If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Wow! I never see this coming. Well, I guess being fit is what I inherited on my father's side. They not so fat unlike on my mother's side. I have no limit on foods I intake in other words not your discipline person to look up to. I do eat carbs, junk foods and sodas is always on my list. I never worried if I am physically fit aside from walking Maxine during days off. I don't know how do I maintain this body I guess I'm never. Being fit actually is my insecurity. However, I do loved my body whatever what happen.

Well, if I had 3 wishes in life - first, to end this pandemic so that everything will back to normal. second, for James to have peace of mind and good health while waiting for the process of his case. And, lastly, for me to be strong, lasting patience and strong faith.

How would you solve your problems?

Problems is always part of lives. But, I believed it is always about the degree of the problem. Whenever, I had problem sometimes I resolved it in time but other times I need more time and space to think what will be the resort of it. And, pray for some guidance.

As independent being, how do you handle depression and anxiety?

Good thing to end all of this questions, I became independent when I graduated from college. I have to commute 131 kilometers back and forth from another city just to apply on my first job and the process is never easy at all. When you sent all of your applications form on each companies but never accepted It brought so much sadness, one point of my life I am eager to seek job because I used it as my coping mechanism to walked away from home which I did now, I walked away to protect my peace of mind especially having anxiety growing up and having this thing is hard as people imagined. You might only see darkness and feel of losing but for me, I guess for a year now I handled myself perfectly I never allow this condition to swallow me whole and affect my way of living. I reminded myself to keep strong and remain optimist and always protect my peace of mind at all cost.

.

I am 24 now strong and happy and leaving Haruki Murakami quote: "And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what storms all about"

[satsuki2406]

OPEN SKY  Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

"...And never, ever forget that, your dreams are the wings that'll help you fly."

(L/N)(Y/N) has always been forced to live according to others' expectations. As a member of the powerful and influential (L/N) Family, she has had to live with the heavy weight of seeing others write her destiny with no choice but just obey. But when (Y/N) finally decides to risk it all to take the only opportunity to regain the control of her own life, everything ends up going horribly wrong. Surrendered and disappointed, she receives one last chance to prove to herself and to U.A, along with some unexpected help that this was not a crazy and meaningless waste of time.

Maybe this plan could work after all...

PAIRING: (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)

GENRE/WARNINGS: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Mentions of sex, My poor attempt of comedy, family dysfunctionality, Strong language (Courtesy of Lord Explosion Murder 💥), Manga Spoilers.

STATUS: On going

Chapter 1: Failure

Chapter 3: Her Start

2-Sometimes the Greatest Hero of All is a Good Friend

“The person you’ve called is unavailable, please leave a-”

“Still no answering…. You said you’ll call me right after the exam (Y/N), I hope everything is ok. What should I do now? Oh! I got it!” Swiftly, slender fingers moved over the tactile screen of her phone, anxious eyes looking for a specific contact. “Found it!” After a few rings, the other end of the line was answered.

“Good afternoon,Mizaki talking. How may I help you today?”

“Hello, may I please speak to (L/N) Xiù-san?”

“I’m sorry. (L/N)-san is busy right now. Would you like to leave a message?”

“Sure, please let her know I’m calling in regard of (Y/N), I would like to know about her.”

“Alright miss, and your name please?”

 “Yaoyorozu Momo.”

Three days have passed since the whole U.A fiasco, you were of course grounded, with no phone, no internet and completely insolated in your room. Your fever was already gone, just leaving behind a really mild sore throat. Although your body didn’t hurt anymore, your heart did, over and over again you replayed the whole thing in your mind beating your head to find out what you could have changed, what you could have done differently. It was eating you inside out. You felt like a failure and so unfortunate. How could you fail over something so silly?!

You’ve been in your bed since you arrived home that day, already numbed by all the crying you did that night, your mom’s complains, and had barely eaten. You knew that in a couple of days the response from U.A will arrive to already tell you what you knew. And after that, you’ll have no choice but go to class again for the last week of school. Thankfully there’s surely nothing you’ll have to catch up with.

But before you could sail deeper in your personal sea of self-petty, a knock on your door took you out of your rambling thoughts.

“Come in,” you said boringly.

“Sorry to disturb you (Y/N)-sama but Yaoyorozu-sama had come to visit you, do you want me to let her in or you prefer to rest a little-”

“Momo?! Oh, yes please, tell her to come in!”

“As you wish, (Y/N)-sama”

A couple of minutes later Momo entered your room escorted by the same maid. She was wearing your school uniform, by her side were two of her bodyguards, on her left, one was caring several paper grocery bags full of what looked like tons of snacks and junk food, on her right another tall and bulky man held a white cake box and some pastel-colored paper bags. You threw yourself to her and hugged her fondly. She gasped surprised by your sudden show of affection, but she immediately returned it with one of her own, melting with you in a tight embrace. “Momoo! *SNIFF* I missed you so much! I’m sorry for not answering your texts and calls but my mom took my phone away.”

“Oh, (Y/N) don’t worry I imagined something like that, I’m so sorry I couldn’t come before, but when I tried to come visit, one of the maids said your mother had prohibited it.”

“Of course she did, she feeds on my suffering” you mumbled sourly.

“Oh, don’t be like that, I know she can be-uhm…”

“Harsh? Insufferable? Unreasonable? A hag-?”

*AHEM! * Strict, she can be strict-yes! But I’m sure that she is doing it all with your best interest in mind, or I hope so…”

“Aha… not even you believe that, by the way, what’s up with all the shopping bags?” At the mention of them, she beamed, star-eyed, cheeks flushed with excitement, recalling her little adventure of the day.  

“Today I went to one of these really incredible, advantageous little stores where you can find anything, anywhere and have a wide variety of products for a fair price.

“You mean a konbini?”

“Yes! They are great, aren’t they? So convenient!”

“I bet they are.”

“They really are! To think that all of this only cost me ¥10 000!*”

“You spent how much?!”

“Oh, it’s nothing! I made sure to get an ample array of different products to enjoy together and, I thought some yummy snacks would cheer you up.”

You felt your heart clench at such sweet declaration from your dearest and oldest friend, she really was the most selfless and caring being you’ve ever met.

“Momo~! Have I ever told you that I’ll be nothing without you~?”

“Yes, and is nice to hear that you value my efforts, even if I can’t do anything to revert the past and change what happened, I can act now, in the present and do as best as I can to make you feel better and let you know that anything that occurred is not your fault, so please don’t think less of you. Sometimes life acts in mysterious ways that maybe we don’t understand, but someday it will make sense and we will know, comprehend and accept why our plans do not always go as we wish. 

And even if it’s hard to accept at first, there are better things waiting for us than we even expected or asked for since the beginning. What I’m trying to say is, please don’t let this unpleasant ordeal take you down, I know that you’re more than capable to be a hero, even more than me, so keep fighting no matter how many times they knock you down, I’m sure you’ll still rise every time. Don’t give up.” Your friend looked at you while she held both of her hands over her chest, her eyes bright, sweet and sincere made her words hit you with more intensity.

“Momo…” you said moved.

“Oh, don’t mind me, I think I got a little sentimental, but anyway! I hope you like what I brought for this occasion-Oh! Kaji-san, Sasaki-san please leave the bags here.” Momo instructed the bodyguards to put them over the center table of the seating area inside your spacious room. After that, they were dismissed and exited the room alongside the same maid that let them in.

Immediately after they left, another one entered your room with a golden vintage-looking bar cart full of all the musts for a proper tea party. A shiny silver tea set was put in the center of the cart, besides it a couple of white golden rimmed China teacups seated cutely surrounded by all kinds of sweet and savory goodies. Under the same cart, a large collection of the most exquisite teas and coffees could be found, most of them brought by your mother herself from her several trips around the globe. As an enthusiast of these drinks, she always made sure to visit the most renowned tea crafter countries to bring the best of the best with her.

“Good afternoon ladies, what would you like to drink?”

“I’ll have tea, that new black tea my mother got last month,” You said.

“Sure! And for you Yaoyorozu-sama?”

“I’ll drink the same, you talked to me about this tea before, right? It sounded so good that I’ve been wanted to try it since then.”

“I’m positive you’ll enjoy it as much as I did! It has a fruity undertone; it goes really well with everything.” You said excitedly.

Once the hot drinks were set and served the maid left the room with the snacks Momo brought to place them in the kitchen for later consuming. Once alone, you could talk more comfortably and privately.

“So… what in heaven you did or said to make my flexible as a rock mother to let you enter into my fortress of loneliness?”

“That’s easy…”

“School Work”

“That’s it?! And what school work?! Next week is the last week of classes, and we already had our final tests. What else could you do that we haven’t already done last week?”

“A lot actually, we still had to receive our final lessons and they gave back our tests’ results and you mother specify clearly and I quote: ‘Although (Y/N) is sick it doesn’t mean I’ll allow her under any circumstances to get delayed on her studies even if the school year is basically over, she must learn discipline and obedience, put in practice what she’s been taught all this time, she evidently hasn’t been taught properly.’

“Why it doesn’t surprise me she said that? Do you-”

“-Have your tests with me right now? Of course, they are part of the reason your mother let me trespass your ‘fortress of loneliness’ Pretty impressive as always, but I guess you couldn’t beat me in math, again.” She smiled.

“Aw! I studied really hard for that exact reason!”

“Don’t worry it was only 5 points-Wow! you were pretty right! This tea is delectable!” Momo said after taking a sip of her cup.

“But still!-I know! Right?”

“Don’t worry though, you’ll have plenty of times in high school”

After Momo’s comment everything came back to your mind, it really felt like a distant memory, at some point you question yourself if it was real, to begin with, it was hard to believe that one single person could have such bad luck in less than 12 hours, every single thing that could go possibly wrong went horrible. And now it was over, you once in a lifetime opportunity slipped from your fingers as soon as it came. And now with your mother aware of your intentions it could be nearly impossible to escape the path that was already set for you.

It's useless now, isn’t it?’

“(Y/N)?”

“Huh?”

Without you knowing, countless tears started rolling down your cheeks, the sadness and frustration scaping out of your body against your will.

“I’m sorry for touching that topic so aggressively, it was so tactless of me to don’t have your feelings on the account.” Said Momo a bit dejected.

“Don’t worry about that Momo, you are already doing so much to make me feel better and I’m so grateful you are here with me right now and, I’ll have to get over it eventually.” Momo frowned, she knew you really well and although she knew your words to her were genuine, you were not ok or dealing well with it at all, maybe if you…

“Do you want to talk about it? You know, vent your frustrations with me? You know you can trust me.” She said while she took your hand reassuringly.

“I know I can trust in you Mocchan, you are my best friend…”

“But?”

“I don’t even know how to put into words how I feel, it’s overwhelming at so many levels! Everything crumbled down so fast than before I could understand what was going on, I blacked out in the middle of battle center trying to save some guy form a 3 pointer, at the end I was the one who needed to be saved. I lost my only chance to make my dreams come true in such a foolish way and I couldn’t do anything about it! I went through so much! I had to wake up at 4:30 every day to train without my mother noticing, I stayed up until 2 am to study and be prepared for the exam, and all of that for nothing! I don’t even know what to do Momo, I feel I going crazy! I’m losing my mind inside these four walls! I feel trapped, hopeless, I just, I just want to disappear…”

An ominous silence invaded the room, you finally could say all that you have been bottling in out all this time. Momo debated what she could say in a situation like this, you really were screwed. But even having knowledge of your situation and its implications, something told her that, even if it was small there is still some hope. Trying to collect her thoughts she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, after a few seconds she opened them again and looked at you with a mix of confidence and faith.

“You know, since we met, I always thought you were the most courageous and aspiring person I’ve ever known. You never gave up, never let the limitations given by your family stopped you from being who you truly were, like a bird who didn’t know about frontiers or bounds, always focused at the horizon, what laid ahead, in the future, your future. Although you knew it was risky, you did it anyway, you took a leap of faith, and even though things didn’t come out as you wanted, you did it, you dared. Failure means that you’ve tried, don’t let failures and errors stop you, but make you stronger. So please, raise your head, stand proudly because a hero can always-”

“-break out of a tough spot, I know. Thank you, Momo.” You looked at your spread palm and closed your eyes for a moment. “It’s true that there’s nothing I can do, It already happened, is in the past and I can’t change it, but, as you said I have the present, the one that matters, the one that’ll help me shape my future, there’s no point on sulking over something that already happened, but I do have control over what’s happening and will happen. The only thing I can do now is wait for my letter, get over it, get a closure. And after that happens, I’ll just try it again, I learned my lesson, if I want to be a strong hero, I have to think in my wellbeing first, If I can’t save myself, I won’t be able to save anybody. I’ll do it at my own pace.” You closed your fist and opened your eyes full of renewed energy and conviction, you looked up at your always trusty friend and gave her your most sincere smile.“I don’t know how but I’ll keep trying, I’ll definitely do it.” Momo smiled back at you sharing your same emotions, grateful to see the same flame invade your eyes and spirit. 

“I know you will.”  

 “…But first, we’ll have some melon pan.*”

“…” 

*¥10,000 are approximately $91,35.

*Melon pan [ メロンパン ] (meronpan): They are sweet buns made with an enriched dough covered in a thin layer of crisp cookie dough. Their appearance resembles a melon (cantaloupe). Ironically they are not usually melon flavored but it can vary from caramel, maple syrup, chocolate, sometimes with syrup, whipped cream, flavored cream or custard as a filling. In the case of such variations, the name may drop the word 'melon' (maple pan) or may keep it despite the lack of melon favor (chocolate melon pan).

[heclingmuzik]

TIMELINE OF PAST AND CURRENT EVENTS

Some dates are inaccurate from the posted date and some don’t have dates, BUT I’ll be changing dates around just to fit her story a bit better and hopefully make sure things are more easier to understand. If I’ve forgotten to add any importantance between your muse and mine, please shoot me an IM!

-----

Arrived in Isola on January 24th, 2021. 

Upon arrival these are things that Ismael has gone through

On her first day arriving, Spirale was covered in sheets of snow with diamond creatures and diamond anything that would block the way. 

She was rescued by someone from those diamond yetis!

She found out that you can actually break diamond with diamond, and also FOUND KYRIE!

On January 26th, 2021

Curious about the hole, she decides to revisit it. 

This is where she meets the unpleasantries of the shadowy figure. She never got his name, BUT that shadowy figure looking thing is the cause of her first death. He pushed her into the hole.  to this day, no one knows. To this day, Kyrie does not know that Ismael has a tiny fear of heights now. 

{CAN’T FIND DATE} Was hired to work at Lovelyloaves by Mizi

On February 21st, 2021 she joined Big Dipper Talent!

Ismael has met and befriended plenty of people!

On April 1st, 2021

Game time? It’s weird and Ismael still doesn’t entirely understand what was going on, but it was fun. On her birthday, as part of the game, Ismael and Kyrie went diving....from the sky. Certainly a big step in that little fear of her’s!

She got a present afterwards! She hasn’t taken them off since!

She met someone shortly after. Nero. 

He’s looking for a way out, and despite hearing that it is impossible he seems extremely hellbent in returning home. Says he’s got someone waiting for him. Someone waiting for him shares the same name as her friend Kyrie. WHAT are the odds, huh! She has been searching for answers since to help aid him in this quest.

On April 6-20, 2021

On her way in search for parts for Nero, she decides to expand her searching by going to Yesteryear, attempt at Mistwood, and going through Fibonacci’s Shadier sides. 

 April 6 - In Yesteryear, she didn’t find anything, but instead met a man with a strange looking bird. Is it a crow or a raven? She still doesn’t know, but she’s beginning to think the bird is....pretty cool. 

April 10 - In Mistwood she didn’t even go in to check it out. This place will have to wait until she’s either with someone who can get them out in a pinch or just...when she feels she’s ready. Badou says there’s Deatheater? Deadeaters? Whatever the fuck. She’s not about to be eaten by no eatereaters. 

April 18 (Afternoon close to Eveningish) - Ismael tells Nero she wants to fight alongside him when he brings up that he might actually have to change his plan a bit. Says he’ll have to face the Stars first in order to prevent being brought back here. He won’t let her fight and that upsets her. They have a small argument about it. She’ll have to check up on him. Make sure he got home safe and make sure he’s okay. 

April 18 (Nighttime) - Ismael miscalculated the time and got overly cocky. If that’s what you can call it. She got stuck in the crowd and was rescued by a rather tall and scary man. He showed kindness, despite her screaming and lashing out because of fear. Same man decided to show her who he truly is by taking her to some building. 

IN an attempt to save the three men that were unlucky enough to meet Yamazaki in the same building for some shady business???? Ismael may have failed and may have actually been the result in them dying. 

During the time she is captured and held captive, forced to watch whatever unfolds before her eyes with Yamazaki and these poor unfortunate men, Nero sends in a text about finding someone who is willing to make his arm. She’s unable to get to the message until 2 days after in the evening. 

On April 21st, 2021

She finally steps out of her lone house to finally go grocery shopping that she’s been trying to avoid for the past couple of days since she got back from that night. A lot of stuff that she’d suppose to get done neglected.

In her attempt to be quick, in and out of grocery store, she meets Grimm. Someone she’s spent a lot of time with talking about music, playing, and listening.  .....If Grimm can see that something is wrong.... She’s really going to have to avoid seeing everyone else. 

On April 24th, 2021

It’s proving difficult to be at the house, let alone just the ward entirely. She used to actually enjoy being in Fibonnaci. Some of the people there are nice, but...Well, now she just wants out. No where is technically safe, but man, she really wants out of Fibonacci.

She’s been crashing at....one of the Branches. Yesteryear is one of them. She’s beenn sleeping outside in her makeshift camp for a little over two days. She will stop by her home to get more supplies and the things she needs, but only then. 

She’s more than likely going to check with the Stars. See if they will let her move houses.

She wants to ask the stars to move her, but again, the thought of ‘nowhere is really safe’ lingers at the back of her mind. She can move anywhere in the Wards or branches if that’s the case, but....HE will be there....Even if he isn’t. 

On April 27th, 2021

Ismael finally gaining the courage after talking to Dune, decides to text Grimm and Nero.

She tells them what happened that night with Yamazaki. She’s not ready to talk to Kyrie about the event and isn’t quite sure when she will be ready. 

Currently she is crashing at Grimm’s. Occasionally will crash at Nero’s, because she doesn’t want to just burden the one. Sometimes, she’ll be outside, in one of the branches. Sometimes she’ll tell the two where she’s going and other times she will not.

Kyrie remains to be in the dark about the whole situation, as through text, Ismael can pretend that everything IS fine to a perfect T. 

On April 30th, 2021

She hits V up in hopes that he and his friend would be available to help her with a task. She’s been working on her archery skill and decided that in order to work on the small fear of heights, she’d pick up parkouring. Makes sense, right? Let’s see how this all goes.

On May 1, 2021

Ismael was once again debating on if she should venture into Mistwood or not. Only this time, instead of it being Badou to stop her in her tracks, it is none other than V. Where did he even come from? And will she ever actually check the woods out?

Don’t remember exact date

Ismael’s purchase of her Bow and fire elemental fragmentation were delivered to her. She’s been practicing more often. She also received her hoverboard as well.

On  May 2nd, 2021

Ismael has once again come across Yamazaki. This time nothing happened and weirdly enough, it...was as if he was trying to help her get rid of that fear? Too bad he’s extremely unpredictable and what’s done is done. Though, she can’t deny that she hopes that ONE day she can actually look at him without fearing. That one day she can say his name without the memories of what happened...Or even if the memories are still there, she’s able to hold her ground and stay strong. 

Until then, she’s practicing. She’s working on bettering herself, strengthen herself both mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

She is getting a little better. Still nightmares plague her during the night, but she’s able to talk about what happened. May not be in full details, but it’s enough to understand ‘ah, so that’s what Ismael went through.’ 

Trying to face her fears is a lot harder than she thought. BUT she’s working on it. She’s hoping that even through fear she will be brave. 

And every day, Ismael is reminded that she does have people here who cares for her and her them. It just makes these little horrible moments just a tad bit more bearable. She has so many people to thank!

And yes, this very same day she’s made her way into the woods. It may have been because she wasn’t thinking where she was running until it was too late. Whoops. Here, she’s met Mew. The pink cat that Nero helped. 

On May 4th, 2021

Ismael decides to ask Nero a favor. She asks him if he would be okay in going to that building where she had been held captive and check for those bodies that she had left behind. 

Nero ended up sent to the hospital when an unexpected turn of event led him and another guy there. 

She feels guilt and blames herself for Nero’s injuries. 

At the hospital on the same day while waiting for Nero, she meets Yamazaki again. 

On May 8th, 2021

Ismael takes Nero’s words to heart from before when he got injured. When they were at the park he had said something along the lines of not holding something from someone. That being honest was more better. She decides to tell Kyrie of the things that she had suffered through. 

Ismael is significantly getting better at not just archery, but handling things that has been happening in her life. The nightmares are still there. Sometime she catches herself in tears when she wakes, or a yelp in the middle of her sleep. Still, Ismael is doing her best!

On June 4th, 2021

There was an art museum that Ismael decided to attend to. Upon seeing a portrait, she finds out from Kyrie that the art is Yaira. 

That very same day, everything in the museum comes to life and starts attacking people, including there being monsters added onto the chaos. 

Ismael does not make it through. She ends up being injured fairly badly and passes away from said injury by the very hands of Yaira (an evil portrait.)

In the moment of her passing, she gets to meet Yaira (The good portrait that Kyrie made.)

On July 10th, 2021

Ismael undergoes a extremely life-changing situation. The stars manages to throw Ismael back into her world but reverse time with Ismael’s memories of Isola intact and was told that she’d remember bits and pieces and the more she continued onward the more memories she’d remember.

With the option to leave at any time, Ismael continued through her memory to the end and found out that Yaira was her sister all along. 

Currently Ismael suffers from guilt, anger, self-hate, and so much more. She hasn’t been taking care of herself but still continues on with music, training,  and her faith....If only to try and push through. 

On July 21st

Ismael decides to contact Kyrie after a few days of just sending them texts to ask them about Yaira. She has a lot of questions and hopes that Kyrie can help her with them. She’s not entirely sure how she’s going to take any information if it turns out that Kyrie knew something and kept it from her. 

MORE TO BE ADDED

will be updated accordingly!