#sometimes in life you have to do things that aren't extremely easy but i promise you this will not be the hardest thing you ever do

[evilkitten3]

kinda fascinating how many people in the notes immediately saw this and decided this post was pro-israel. i've said this before and i'll say it again - criticism of israel is not antisemitic, but a lot of you are.

i keep seeing the increasing amount of antisemitism in leftist circles and as a jewish leftist i don't really like it. i don't like when people refuse to listen to jews when they speak about antisemitism.

nobody is immune to bigotry. just because you are a leftist (or claim to be one) it doesn't mean it's impossible for you to show microaggression.

[ofdirtandbones]

I have no idea who to ask and seeing as you seem to be similar to me in some aspects, i thought u would be the best choice

Do you have any recommendations on how to stop being on the internet so much and connect more with nature? I love nature I love being in it but I'm constantly stuck either to my phone or computer, never fully appreciating it. I have no idea what to do

Long post ahead ! Sorry lol Man I've deleted all social media except tumblr. I use it on my computer mostly and I've put a thirty minutes time limit, only usuable between 6pm and 11pm on my phone. That way I can still see art, pretty pictures, funny posts... But I don't spend much time on my phone. It took me SO LONG to get to this point. I had to build up so much anger towards social media, the way they are made to steal all your time and ruin your attention span, and how much of a negative impact they had in my life. I use to spend just so much time on instagram,,, The first thing I did was put a lock on it. It was sooo hard at first but eventually I started barely using it when it was unlocked for the day. I managed to start reading again. And I mean reading multiple hours a day. Sometimes the whole day when I felt really bad and couldn't leave the house. Traded my screen time for when I was like,,, in the bathroom or waiting for something etc,,, for duolingo ! Since I still had the urge to pick up my phone and duolingo takes so much energy haha Doing something that isn't really enjoyable (and is actually useful) everytime I picked up my phone eventually made it much less interesting. You will not miss out on anything ! I know how scary it is but I promise, you won't be disconnected from the world. It's really the contrary tbh. You won't be disconnected from your friends either ! Ask them to contact you through whatsapp or whatever. That was my main fear and it turned out fine, so so so so fine. There are still ways to get news, without being constantly bombarded by them. Healthy ways that your body can actually handle. For the connecting to nature more part, it's very easy in my city but I don't know what it's like in yours,,, If you can access nature easily and can walk for a while then I say go explore ! Take pictures of bugs, plants, mushrooms,,, Can you take a friend with you ? If nature isn't accessible for you, good news ! It's everywhere. You'll find plant growing through cracks on the sidewalk, birds everywhere, bugs wherever it's possible for them to live,,, You'll start noticing them quickly ! Can you identify them ? If you don't have books that can help you or field guides, there are ones in public libraries. Once you id something, read about it ! And the pure joy once you've identified something, read about it, and you see it again ! The feeling is incredibly similar to friendship ! It became familiar, it became a friend, you feel warm inside everytime you two meet. See what naturalist non profit associations are near you ! Do they offer free acitvities ? Can you join them, volunteer,,, Yesterday I participated to an activity at night where we went to a spot with a lot of bats, learned about them, and then listened to them with a batbox ! All for free. I do activities like that a few times a week and learn a lot ! Another tip is touch grass, literally. Put your fingers in the dirt, smell it eat it, go lay down under a tree, no phone allowed. Hear the wind go through it. You aren't very different from it. You're both nature, both alive, aware of your surroundings, breathing, eating, and a whole ecosystem just by yourself. Your tree can also becoma a friend. Keep plants inside if possible ! Take care of them, learn about them. If only you knew how many plants I've killed before understanding how to take care of them,,, Now I have over thirty plants,,, hard ones to keep too ! It's also extremely easy to keep pill bugs as pets and takes up very very little space. So rewarding to see them eat and multiply ! Read books about nature ! I know this can be hard,,, I don't mean just informative books ! Anything will help you feel closer to it. I love poetry for example ! Very short, impactful emotionally ! I hope my rambles will be able to help you in some way ksgfqgq I just woke up.

[reidslovely]

Second round of mob!peter questions that are more general in nature:

How do you see mob!peter growing and changing? He lives in a world of violence and sees Reader as his safe haven in your other mob!peter fics. How would he view a Reader who was also capable of violence or who was having difficulty with that aspect (depending upon if Reader was born into it vs. it's all new)

What are mob!peters weaknesses aside from concern regarding the safety of his loved ones and associates?

What happens if Reader is a partner in the business and has an objective with which Peter disagrees and Reader is adamant that this is right and proper and he is just being stubborn? Does he take the same tactic with her?

What happens when they have a child and Reader wants to take the child out and about? How does Peter handle the 'dangers' of freedom when he has enemies who would stop at nothing to go after his loved ones? How does Reader react if Peter grows anxious or has other emotions and actions about their safety?

Also: this was a lot and you have a life. A very busy life. No rush. Just some thoughts for you to consider. Take care friend and write when you want to write and don't when you don't. We'll be here, ready to welcome you!

Alright boys, let's go.

Peter has had to adapt and grow a lot in his life. It isn't something he's unfamiliar with, in fact it's something he is really good at. He's a chameleon, but there are also spiders who adapt to their surroundings. He got pulled into the mafia at a young age, he grew and shockingly it grew with him and the people closest to him. At first he's a bit reckless doesn't really know what he's doing he's following his friends footsteps and is working out of pain and grief. However the older he gets, the better at shielding that grief and anger he is. He promises to only use this business for good, and sometimes that does get away from him. He's only human. Which is how he looks at Reader when she has her moments of violence. Just like him, she hasn't had an easy life. And she does get carried away to sometimes depending on the situation and people they're dealing with. He's supportive though and knows when to remove her when she doesn't know how to remove herself. There are times where she struggles with the idea of what Peter does and herself on occasion. Peter knows when she needs that switch of his hard external self and the soft side she knows that reminds her there is good.

Outside of his worry for family and friends. Peter is his own biggest hater. If anyone brings up anything Peter has done rightfully or not he's gonna spiral the quickest way to get him to doubt himself and how he is- question him, bring up his past.

I think of Reader and Peter as two opposite ends of a coin most of the time. It takes a lot to make Reader get violent or upset, but Peter who has been in the business for years learned that your most extreme emotion and gut reaction is going to give you the best option. Which means he can be more ready to jump to extremes than reader is. She rationalizes with him. Saying he needs to anonymously report his findings, or knock the dudes ass out and drop him off at the station like he would in his spider-man days. Peter does try to rationalize where he can. He'll leave things to other people if she convinces him that him directly handling it isn't going to help. But they usually find a middle ground or talk over the 'why' of why it has to be this extreme.

Peter, no matter how big and scary, has the anxiety levels of a small dog. He wants his wife kids to be able to go out and about, and encourages it. Because he knows that he can't control them like that, that would be wrong. He has eyes everywhere if there's nothing big going on. A few other hitman or 'business partners" in the area that he knows he can trust he lets them know to just keep an eye out. body guards he lets you know there are gonna be guys watching but not to worry about it they aren't watching reader specifically just checking in. He also calls every hour at the top of the hour. And even though reader wouldn't have to be asked she sends him fun updates over text about what her and the babies are doing. Most of the time though if he can go out and about with them he does. He loves every moment of it. If he can't go but you know something big just went down he won't even have to ask somebody to go with them. Most of the time it is Felicia or Gwen jumping up and offering to go to the store or to the park with them. Peters associates and friends ar this family. They all protect and watch out for each other. Also when they first started dating Peter knew Reader could defend herself if worse came to worse, however he did pay and attend self defense classes with her. When he does get anxious Reader will calm him down, talk him down let him know that his feelings are valid because she gets scared but knows she's safe, and he should have that same confidence in himself, herself, and those around them to protect them.

This was sososososo fun!!! Thank you for all your questions I genuinely loved doing this.

[acourtofthought]

Hello! all good?

English is not my native language, so I apologize in advance.

I've been following the acotar fandom for the past two years. I had just finished reading acofas when acosf was announced (I didn't use social media).

I didn't think E/riel was a couple like Nessian, it was already clear to me, I always felt that something was missing from them.

I came to like the idea of ​​Elucien, when I read acofas all my hopes were gone until the arrival of acosf.

I've read all of SJM's books, and I've come to the conclusion that forbidden (hidden) romances aren't right and the author doesn't like to work, as well as a love triangle.

(SPOILER from SJM books)

I find it curious that as e/riel is so sure that Elucien won't happen because the bond will be refused. SJM has not placed any conversations between Elucien that are significant other than what they retain.

Ruhn and Hypaxia met and there was even a flirtation, they were promised, but we saw the side of the two (pov).

Celastina married an angel. SJM said on the page that they didn't work out, but they got married and had interactions.

Bryce and Cormac get along well, are in love with each other and were VERY CLEARLY uninterested in each other through their pov and interaction.

Now Elucien hasn't even had 1% of anything similar other than a conversation they actually saw each other for the first time and other quick interactions with others around.

Elucien NEVER had the space and their pov to know what actually happened. Lucien looked anxious for Elain. She took that step. She smiled and asked if he was okay.

What a surprise it would be if she turned down a bond she NEVER sat down and talked with Lucien. If she had had moments alone getting to know each other I would understand.

SJM keeps the two away, which to me is a good sign. And to you?

Hello there!!

I agree with you that it seems very purposeful that we have never had the chance to witness a conversation between Elain and Lucien happening.

If two characters are not meant to work out then we as the reader need to understand WHY they aren't meant to work out because a mating bond isn't something that's to be carelessly tossed aside for no real reason.

As a fated mates author, you don't make two of your main characters mates (the most sacred of all unions), have them never interact then deny their bond on the sole grounds that they didn't ask for their bond.

In all of SJMs books, we are shown why two characters are not meant to be together. We witnessed why Tamlin and Feyre weren't right for one another. In the TOG series, it's clear why her FMC did not end up with certain love interests. We are told that the reason Rhys's parents bond didn't work was because the father was cold and vicious, something Lucien is not, while the mother was soft and fiery). So if we're to believe that fate chose poorly by making Elain and Lucien mates, it's not enough to say, "she just doesn't want a bond". Rhys also tells us mated pairs TRY to make it work because they believe they were given a gift and it's not until later that they realize it's sometimes a poor match.

Elain and Lucien to date have not tried and Elain has not yet let her guard down.

She doesn't want a bond because she lost her fiance. She doesn't want a bond because she had never met Lucien before that. She doesn't want a bond because she's been through traumatic experiences and therefore can't even fathom dealing with what it means to have a life long attachment to another.

But those things can change once she heals. And the only way it's going to be believable that she and Lucien aren't meant to be together is if we see they are a poor match and to date, we have never been given that opportunity.

If SJM truly plans on Elucien being the rejected bond then why hasn't she had them interact to demonstrate how they are very different people and don't connect on the important levels? As an author, it would be extremely easy to do and she could have started building her case at any point since ACOWAR. It would make their rejection of their bond more believable if it were to happen in their book.

Instead, we have Elain refusing to actually get to know Lucien therefore she doesn't actually know who it is she's currently "rejecting". We have Lucien giving Elain time and space to explore her new world and new body though he has remained faithful to her. We have him being nothing but understanding and never lashing out even when she pushes him away. We have the author continually dropping hints as to their compatibility (same sense of humor, dislike of violence, neither is aggressive or argumentative, both love nature, she craves the sun and he's the heir to Day).

If Elucien's are supposed to believe that Elain and Lucien aren't absolutely perfect for one another than why exactly has the author done nothing to convince us of this other than having Elain avoid him (something that ever single Archeron has done with their mate before accepting their bonds)?

[bobateaboo]

“Well I can tell you where this body came from! Or the one before that, dozens more if I really feel like it! But me? Ha! Who has the time?”

oh boy oh boy do I have a lot to say about this, lore under the cut

okay SO. Cinnabon has been skipping around bodies for centuries. there was a time when he didn't have one, and sometimes the stretches of time between the destruction of one vessel and the finding of another can last years, but he never isn't

when he doesn't have a vessel, things are... weird. it'd be wrong to call him a ghost because a ghost has some sort of form, intangible as it may be. without a being, he's less of a person and more of a force, there but unfocused. if he wants to be a "person", he needs a container to keep all of himself nearly in one(ish) place

he's still dangerous when he's unfocused, but in a very different way. as a force, he, or in those times, more accurately it, is more of a case of extreme bad luck. comical misfortune that can ruin someones life if you're not careful. when he has a body though, it's very different

one of his little rituals for after he's gotten a new body is to drive whoever is closest to it insane before killing them. example; his most recent form is a puppet carved out of wood, so he spent a good few months making the life of the old man who carved him absolute hell before dismembering him and leaving what was left for his family to find

the closest anyone's ever got to destroying him is a little someone I can't name because of spoilers, but they're the one who keeps him and Onyx on a leash, and that's less destroying him and more binding him to his current vessel. he can't destroy it himself and until it's broken, he's stuck

in theory it should be easy enough for Cinnabon to trick some poor sod into burning the wood and plastic that makes him up and then taking their body for his own, but due to some magical agreements our mystery person is the only one who can do that. they've promised to free him, but only after the goal they hired him for is fulfilled

but yeah Cinnabon, or at least the thing that calls itself that, has been around for as long as anything has had a life to ruin and intends to stay around until there aren't any more. He lives for his own entertainment and he's found that, 9 times out of 10, the best entertainment is making someone truly and completely despise their own existence

anyway tha's it :]

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group C Round 1: #C2 vs #C7

#C2: High social anxiety girl has to befriend her whole class

Hitori Bocchi suffers from extreme social anxiety: she faints when overwhelmed, vomits when nervous, and draws up ridiculously convoluted plans to avoid social contact. As she graduated from elementary school into middle school, her best and only friend, Yawara Kai, will be attending a different school. On top of that, Kai gives her an ultimatum: she’ll stop being Bocchi’s friend and sever all ties with her until Bocchi befriends all of her classmates in her new class. Will Bocchi make it!?

#C7: Comedy with high school girls with unique personalities

It’s the first year of high school in an all-girls’ school. All the girls in class 1-A have different expectations for their high school careers: some want to study hard, some want to hone their skills in drawing manga, some want to become biologists, some want to be popular with boys (…that last one might prove a bit challenging in an all-girls’ school…) The story revolves around the unique personalities of the girls in this class - not just the main trio, but the others classmates too - and their relationships with each other, in school and outside of it. So many shenanigans ensue.

Titles, propagandas, trailers, and poll under the cut!

#C2: Hitori Bocchi’s ○○ Lifestyle (HitoriBocchi no MaruMaru Seikatsu)

Propaganda:

This is a fun and lighthearted show. Watch it if you need something cute to chill out! The art is cute and colorful, the music lively, and the animation fine enough.

As it's adapted from a four-panel gag manga, the story is simple and focuses on the various characters. They all have pun-based names related to their main personality trait, so they're easy to remember if you know some basic Japanese (Hitori Bocchi means all alone, for example). The girls are all adorable and fun in their own quirky ways, and I loved seeing the heroine doing her utmost best to overcome her fears -and other challenges- to befriend them in the hope of fulfilling her promise. That's the power of the Do-Your-Best Fairy! They all care for each other (despite some teasing) and help Bocchi with her monumental task, never pulling her down for her struggles but gently pushing her in the back when needed.

But most importantly, Hitori Bocchi is a very relatable character. As someone suffering the same trouble, I related a lot with Bocchi, from her silliest worries to her escalating panic and weird schemes in an attempt to prevent anything wrong. Anxiety is faithfully represented, mixed with the right amount of laughing to how far Bocchi can get to avoid fearful situations in her very cute ways. It feels good to see a character like me in a such positive light! The struggles are real and acknowledged, and it’s really moving to see our heroine overcome them little by little in a very humanizing way.

This series has become one of my comfort materials, and I come back to it when I need hope and inspiration in everyday social interactions! If you need one last thing to be convinced, listen to that most adorable and silly song that will give you the Power of Motivation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGoGwlNmZUQ 

Trigger Warnings: None.

#C7: Wasteful Days of High School Girls (Joshikousei no Mudazukai)

Propaganda:

Wasteful Days of High School Girls is fast-paced and genre-savvy, subverting a lot of high school anime tropes in ways that are really delightful even if you yourself aren't that familiar with high school animes. But most of all it is cool in a way that only awkward, weird, realistic teenagers can be. It probably won't make you long for your own high school days (if they are in the past), but that is a good thing, because sometimes only a good comedy can really lay bare what life is really like when you're a teenager.

The thing that makes this show so amazing is the characters. These are anime characters with some real Character with a capital C. Everyone is such a real and unique human personality; not just the main trio but all their classmates too AND the teacher and even the nurse that only appears in like one episode!

This is a show with the lowest of stakes and it still manages to feel like something incredibly significant has happened when you get to the end of it. And something incredibly significant has happened! Life happened! An entire year of it!

Trigger Warnings: Unknown.

If you’re reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

[numberonesnarkfan]

I've been around the Discord block for a few years, so here's a non-exhaustive list of red flags for Discord servers.

keep in mind that, just like in dating, a red flag is not necessarily the only deciding factor on whether you should leave the server. Your own judgement is key.

a "no disrespecting mods" rule. A rule stating that you can't argue with mods' decisions is fair enough, but if the rule states that the offending action is "disrespect", the mods are more than likely not great people and want to develop a cultlike server.

a huge age range. Sometimes this can be good, but other times this can be bad. This one is more down to your own judgement.

members under 13. If the server is willing to break ToS in one way, they are likely willing to break it in other ways, too.

the OWNER is under 13. Get out of there as quickly as possible.

a notable number of members hold political views that are opposite to yours. You're going to have a really bad time and be a really big problem in their lives.

a high number of schizoposters and shitposters. Unless you're one of them, they generally make things worse for everyone.

a lot of arguments and drama. This seems obvious, but it can be easy to overlook if you've already formed an emotional attachment to the server members.

there's a "problem" member who hasn't been removed. If the majority or all of the other members dislike or fear this member, but the mods won't remove them (or if they are a mod), they are just going to continue their behaviour unchecked.

open NSFW channels. These channels should be marked as NSFW through the server settings. If they aren't, and there are minors who can access them, even if they currently aren't, that's not great.

It has a trigger list with 100 or more entries. This tends to be extremely mentally taxing.

it has under 30-50 members and has no trigger list. Sometimes this can be fine, as servers run by cis men usually don't include trigger lists, but if a server is actively refusing to add one, that's no good.

the mods refuse to add pluralkit. Staying in a server in which I was openly a system but the mods repeatedly refused my requests to add pluralkit was one of the worst mistakes of my life.

slurs are openly allowed to be said by those who can't reclaim them. Servers where slurs are allowed to be said by those who can reclaim them are usually fine, but if members are allowed and encouraged to use ones that they can't, even as a joke, that's a breeding ground for all sorts of nasty shit.

breaking of rules goes unpunished. If you or someone else, even a mod, breaks a rule and doesn't receive a warning or punishment, that's a sign that the rules are empty promises. This is usually because the mods are very empathetic and gentle and feel bad about enforcing them, but members can wreak havoc if they're not reigned in by anything.

there is a trigger list, but some members don't add their triggers. If a server has a trigger list, but there are some members who expect others to keep up with triggers that aren't stated anywhere for new users, pandemonium will ensue.

using tone tags is shunned. If you're shunned or made fun of for using tone tags, the other server members are dickheads.

the server has over 1000 members. Not necessarily a bad thing, but keep your guard up until you're comfortable.

the mods or members are often passive-aggressive. They will make everything difficult for you.

the server has over 100 members and includes a vent channel. If members are encouraged to essentially tell their problems to the town, that can also be pandemonium.

members communicate almost exclusively through VC, but still expect non participants to keep up with what's going on. you're going to be lost and confused and there will be a lot of anger on both sides.

there is no vent channel and members vent about serious topics in the general chats. I will admit I was guilty of this when I was 14. But in that scenario, I was the problem. It is usually 14 year olds doing that, too.

[blunt-force-therapy]

Saw your post about seeing tags on self-harm. As someone who has done it and seem multiple people do it ( one of which attempted suicide several times ) I just want to say I don't think reading that kind of stuff is gonna help anyone. Self-harm is something that feels terrible and feels good, and sometimes it feels right. I only have one scar. I know some people are far worse. Please don't do it, ok ? You are already being a great person just by caring about other people, especially people in vulnerable situations like those. I know life is hard, and giving up is easy, but I care. I don't want to see any more people harming themselves. Not me, and not anyone else. And especially, not you.

Take care

Kind regards, anonymous worrier

After getting 30-something extremely offensive asks it's a relief to find this buried amongst them. Honestly, I [still] don't know what to say (as if I ever do), I'm very glad that you are OK ❤️ thanks for taking the time of day to write and I am very, very sorry for being too much of an idiot to reply in a reasonable time

I can promise you that I'll continue avoiding these things as much as possible in the future, although things aren't always great. I hope you can stay safe as well 💜

[dustvoid]

11.01.24

well, another new year. wild to think my last post on here was the end of 2022. however my main focus last year was to write more in my journal and less on here. feels more therapeutic and somewhat reduces screen time. however there's some thoughts I just want to get out. last year was a pile of dog shit to be honest. I felt like it started off strong, I was dating this guy Liam who I really liked, sort of got a new job that seemed promising, but then it just turned to crap. the guy decided I wasn't doing it for him anymore and the job was a let down too. feel like I did nothing the whole year. waiting for it to end. of course I had some good times, like I always do. but for some reason I just didn't do anything. didn't travel, didn't accomplish much. which really is okay I guess. some years are just like that. but I really hit a wall. I felt so restless and that I was just not getting anywhere. applied for job after job, went through quite a few interviews to still get rejected and felt even more defeated. dating life was very average. the dates weren't bad, but they weren't great either. I did start seeing this guy Aaron who I really liked hanging out with, but it just never seems to exceed anything further than that. I don't know why. I feel like we both enjoy each others company and we always have a nice time. but I'm starting to realise that the dating culture is extremely low effort here. it has been for years. no one really wants to make the effort in both platonic and romantic relationships. if I'm being honest sometimes I'm the same but if I really like someone or see potential I will at least try. I went on a date recently with this guy and I was not keen at all, I wanted to cancel but it was too late so I just went anyway. but it was still very average. it is never a good sign if they want to call it a night. To be fair I didn't feel any sort of connection or sparks, but it was still a bit disheartening.

Maybe I'm just noticing it more but it seems everywhere I look someone has someone. I have no idea what's wrong with me. maybe it is my lack of effort? you obviously have to put in to get something in return, but sometimes it is just so tiring, especially if it is online. I really hate talking online. I don't mind it at the beginning but with online dating there is a small window to meet in person and if it doesn't happen it won't ever happen. so it feels like an endless chat. I don't really know what the problem with me is. I feel like I'm so picky, and usually who the guys I'm attracted to are probably not attracted to me, or they never seem to want anything more serious. But again that kind of feels like my own doing. I feel like sometimes I'm just too easy.

I sort of decided to go over to the UK with Mum in May when she goes. and maybe see if I can hack living there. the thought fucking scares me and I don't know if I will be able to survive it alone. but I cannot think of what else to do. I can't get a different job, I don't like my living situation as there is just no social aspect at all to the house, we aren't friends and hardly talk. I think it is fine for the others as they have lives outside of the house, whereas I don't, and I was kind of hoping to form some new friendships when I moved out again. I either move overseas or id have to leave the house. but really moving makes more sense, because I just need to get out of the city. I love Melbourne, and I don't fully want to go because I will miss my family and I'll miss Emma and not being able to see them whenever I want scares me. I will have my grandma and Lucy and family friends when I go, but no immediate family. I'm scared that I will go over and things will be the exact same, but I know I'll have to put in the work to make sure they aren't. my second main concern is that I wont be able to handle it, and I think that would hurt the most. everyone says you need to give it at least 12 months to settle in, which just seems like such a long time. but I guess 12 months just flew by and that could've been time spent somewhere else. I need to commit and buy the ticket. I just know that when I do there wont be any turning back, and I need to 100 percent sure. I think I will end up doing it, I just never thought I would be doing this until now. the idea of moving overseas always seemed out of reach.

my main goals for the year:

Bite the fucking bullet and make the move O/S.

work out consistently even if its 30 mins a day.

be realistic with my expectations re working out etc.

focus on drinking more water, eating more fresh food, less sugar

hopefully meet someone. experience something more long term

make some new friends in the UK

be less afraid of what other people think. be less judgemental. be kinder to myself

less screen time. find some more hobbies.

Will see what happens and will update.

-H

[tarotchariotpickyourcard]

Pick a card reading: What you should like more about yourself!

This one is for the ones on that self love journey, the ones that need a pick me up or have a hard time with self confidence/esteem especially.

So I'm sure it's quite clear. The cards that you pick will reflect why you deserve to be more loving to yourself, what wonderful qualities you have, and maybe help convince you to lessen your negative inner language.

----------------------------------------------------------

Please pick one of the groups ( 1, 2, 3 or 4.)

You might be drawn to an item, the card itself, or a number. Please calm your mind and meditate for a minute.

-------------------------------------------------------

Side note: If you have a hard time choosing, or nothing seems strong to you, perhaps you could come back later on and try. Do not pressure yourself, darling.

Number one is the badge saying "yup"

Number 2 is the wing

Number 3 is the little bird

Number 4 is the chain saying "BE MINE"

GROUP 1 : (Yup badge)

Morning affirmations, Joy, Strength

6 of wands, 4 of pentacles, Mother of swords

What an interesting blend of character you are!

With the owl, this is a strong suggestion that you are able to see through deep into situations and understand "in between the lines". A great communicator, the queen of swords can be straight to the point, brilliant and not to be messed with. Your ability to say it like it is might be perceived as a little harsh to very sensitive or younger people, however it is a strong and much needed trait in the world. We need people with the organisational skills and know how of the mother of swords! The queen always reminds me of someone who is a good teacher, and a fair person.

With the 6 of wands and the 4 of pentacles, the combination hits in a way of potentially dulling that light. The traits I list may be some that you are aware of in a way, but perhaps have a lesser opinion of. The interesting mix of you is in the way of you being so strong, able to endure and be positive, yet a wonderful balance of being able to have boundaries. Again, I'm seeing the strong ability to recognise when someone is being a "rat" as the animal is right next to the owl. I can't help but get the idea that it is direct experience. I would be surprised if you haven't recently come to a revelation about a person in your social circle, or cut someone out/created more boundaries.

Strength mentions having resilience, coming through things more compassionate, stronger and brighter. Brighter being strong in focus to me, as it is next to joy. Your ability to have fun *despite* issues or obstacles is an enviable trait! I really feel that while you might have your difficulties, you never let them suck you in for too long mentally. You seem to try and stay positive through things, and not everyone can do that. You are also much more smart/knowledgeable than you give yourself credit for. Don't let anyone put you down, because you're being shown that if you go for what you've been studying/working at, with strong persistence you can succeed. I feel like the branches signify people who have acted as obstacles, or your troubles in life. This is confirmation you can rise above them, and if you're stuck right now, please accept my confirmation that things can and will change. Life can't help but flow, no matter how people may try and resist. So if anyone is putting you down, or getting in your way - know that their resistance to your future and well being is futile.

You keep having those boundaries. Keep on keeping on. You're sharp, you're witty, and of all things you have kept your kind heart. One day the joy you try to find in the little things will come to you effortlessly and in x100.

I got the need to call you cherub. Chin up, Cherub.

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GROUP 2 (the wing)

Wait, generosity, magic, peacefulness

The hermit, Ace of swords, Son of swords.

eYou're an extremely thoughtful person, aren't you? I get social activist vibes, the kind of person who thinks about bigger issues than just in their personal world, and could debate very well. The ability to get to the kernel of truth within an argument or bigger pattern in the world seems equal to none. If you have a hard time accepting that your opinions mean something, or you would be able to be persuasive, this is confirmation for you that actually - yes - you do have something meaningful to share with others.

In this pile I'm seeing a more peaceful, patient character. Someone who simply tries to be good, and do good for others. You create magic for other people. My heart swells at this, as I'm seeing reciprocity of kindnesses between you and others over time.

While The son of swords on it's own could potentially be quick to intervene or make a judgement, with the hermit and wait, I'm feeling more that you take the time to think things over. For example, if asked to make a decision, you would want to take your time and really think. If you were asked what your thoughts were on a political stand point, you would think in depth and make no judgements from the surface. This is so helpful, as there's less chance of misunderstanding/unkindness as well as the ability to make better long term decisions for yourself.

Very introspective, and the ace of swords suggests you have great clarity of mind. I can imagine you would be a wonderful person for explaining complicated matters to a wide group of people.

Generosity is what it says on the tin: You are a generous human. That is so, so important. There are many people out there who might feel like no one thinks about them or cares, and you come in and surprise them with something, or offer them help without them asking. It makes people feel valued, and like they are important or have a place in someone's life.

Peacefulness suggests not inviting drama, and I get 2 things. You might be described as grounded, or "chill". As well as this likely suggests your lack of interest in being within a dramatic situation. You are likely very good at looking at others drama, and seeing where it truly stems from, as well as having a good idea of advice for them. If you have friends right now, it's likely they feel peaceful being around you and that they can truly calm down or get your advice on their *own* drama.

You are so important to the people around you, and if there are people that can't appreciate you, I promise you they have *no* idea how lucky they are. You offer so much as a friend, confidant, and as a person who cares for the worlds well being. I appreciate you.

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GROUP 3: ( Little bird

Blessed change, gratitude, engagement, follow your heart, father of pentacles, the empress, the star

You're cool.

Right off the bat, I see your ability to see the silver lining, to take changes as they come (and I don't mean you happily drudge through hard changes, I mean more like you accept them more easily than others). Do you know, it really helps a persons resilience in life if they can have gratitude for things in general, as well as seeing the positive affects of life changes. You have an ability to notice the opportunities in said silver lining. An example I've read in the past involved a man who lost his job, but an opportunity came up for something he was passionate regarding his hobby. He would not have been free to do it unless he was let go of.

You're my free flowing group. Very adaptable. You're able to take time out to really think about what you truly desire in life. When themes like this come up, I really get the idea of authenticity. To put a focus on following your heart, being grateful for what you've taken part in and even quirky circumstances is a massive strength. Do you have any idea how scary that is to people? To wake up and think "My heart wants this, I'm going to actually aim for it because I need to be myself." That's terrifying to many!

Note: If you are finding it hard to be upfront or true to yourself due to fear, this is confirmation that you will be able to in the future. Take your time, as this will come naturally to you.

I know you might be shrugging thinking, but sometimes I get really negative or scared too. I won't say that's not a thing humans experience. What I am saying however, is that you have that strength of character to say actually, nothing would be worse than to answer to my fear. Fear of self expression, fear of being judged. Fear of not having your project liked. These kinds of things.

I feel like you're a fun person who is very interesting to people/has had at least one very interesting or unusual experience. I want you to know the cards are showing that people really enjoy speaking with you, and hearing your stories. So no negative self talk of being boring, or disliked.

Your flexibility, and your ability to be sociable, yet able to pull back appropriately is wonderful. The world needs those who can be more easy going as this can help people de-stress and stop thinking about their worries.

I'm seeing wonderful creativity, and again, being able to be social and talk to many people very well. You're a shining star, and you're supposed to be!

I wonder if sometimes you feel like you need to be "more" productive, but let me tell you... Networking with people is half the job.

I'm also wondering (as a rainbow stands out) if some here are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. It would make sense with the authenticity. If you have a social media presence, or a creative project you want to get out, or expressing your personal experiences to the world - this is confirmation to keep standing tall, stand proud because yes, you do have a lot to offer! King of pentacles next to the empress also suggests you might be on to something that can bring in some income for you. Again, even sharing your experiences is very valued and may well be it. The world itself wants to see you, or whatever you desire to create.

If you have a hard time focusing or being practical, darling, you get along well with others for a reason. Ask for help, whether it's family, friends online, a teacher, anyone. There's help to steer you further in the right direction. You're a beautiful person and you matter to people. You are loved, so please love yourself.

There's something here that seems upset, and I just have the biggest urge to hug you! So if you will, accept my many energetic and virtual hugs!

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GROUP 4: "Be mine"

Worthiness, Ups and downs, courage

Ace of pentacles, Ace of wands, daughter of wands (reversed)

Daughter of wands reversed suggests to me, that you have the traits such as this, but perhaps not the confidence in yourself right now about those things. The book describes her as passionate, visionary, cares more for career and starts a family later; stubborn, strong (i take this as physically actually) and may be going through a spiritual breakthrough or a big change. With this I get the thought that you probably don't recognise just *how* passionate you truly are. You might be finding it hard to go a certain way in your career and studies. There might even be some worries that you might not stick at it. But what you are not realising is your actions have magic in them.

If you are interested in LOA: Your actions manifest not only in a practical sense, but *that's* what truly gets the energy moving. You need physical expression of some kind.

I'm getting such practical, but passionate energy. The ace of wands with courage? That's amazing. Fire sign or not, you have classic fire energy. Even when you lack confidence, you have a strange inner ability to be brave even at your worst times.

Oh, if only you had the confidence to aim!

Your energy and action are seriously magnificent. You have a *lot* of inner energy, spiritual energy, physical vitality. If you have health issues this might sound strange to you - but I get the idea your body was built with a lot of vitality available. You might have really struggled in life with ups and downs here, but I'm seeing you crash right through all the barriers and try to do life the best way you know how. No matter your struggles, you are a warrior here.

The 2 aces here (that is so interesting to have seen) show that you are probably quite good at beginning new things, and when you're motivated, you're MOTIVATED. I'm getting the idea that when you *do* take action on a goal, you go at it with everything and it can surprise people.

I'm seeing creative ability. It's an ability that I have seen myself. An example would be.... A mistake is made in a piece of art. It didn't go the way you wanted originally. But, wait a minute... that's starting to look like something, so I'm going to change it all up and create something completely different than intended.

It's seeing potential in a small detail. I'm seeing original thinking.

I just see a bulls eye, and such great energy and ability, but the lack of confidence. And so, I feel like you're at a time where you're stopping yourself, or won't aim for something out of fear of failing. I also got the sentence biting your tongue. I'm sorry if you're in a situation where you can't speak up for yourself, as this is not aligned with your character.

Overall I believe your a creative but practical person, and have the ability to really pull through and create wonderful things. You can be *very* brave as well as motivated and so I feel you inspire others, as well as surprise them.

I really do feel that with worthiness, it is hinting to confidence/self esteem issues as it says "know that you deserve to receive good in all ways".

You deserve to be successful. You deserve to take the career path that you have been thinking about. You deserve people to treat you well. You deserve to have that hobby, whether you're "good" or not.

Deep down somewhere you know you are bigger than this. I am wishing for a healthy full confidence boost for you and some new energy to help push you.

Please have the courage to aim, as bob ross says:

"we don't make mistakes, we make happy little accidents"

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And that's the last of them! I hope you enjoyed, and I hoped this help you feel a little better about yourself. We need to cheer ourselves up sometimes and let ourselves think good things. We attract more honey with sugar after all!

Until the next pick a card!

Thank you!

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[manslaught]

it's a good thing tai did like this option better, because despite being willing to go through with it, mikayla wasn't all that excited by the other one—not just because she would have to stress about what the rest of tai's team thought of them, whether they would say anything or not, but because she really didn't want to spend the entire time trying to decide which of them had also been with tai before, especially while they were off in a secluded area. (not that mikayla would do anything, but if the thought got too tempting, it would only be made easier.) mikayla says nothing about how it feels like it's always hard to think around tai, like her thoughts no longer belong to only her anymore. “i just don't want you to think i'm fucking with your head on purpose.” while that's something she usually does on purpose, it's not what she means to do with tai—but she also knows that she probably is anyway, with how often she changes her mind about everything. she'd had to make a promise not to change her mind about this weekend, which isn't exactly a good sign. she stills when tai calls her out for what she said, but instead of pulling back this time, she moves closer, groaning in feigned annoyance as she buries her face in tai's neck to hide the way her face burns. “you're so fucking annoying sometimes,” she says in deflection, but she doesn't bother arguing against it, because she had admitted it—and even if she hadn't, it's obvious in the way she's still here.

mikayla's brows knit together, pride getting the best of her, despite having absolutely no desire to play at all. “maybe i could've been better, if i bothered to try.” despite her habitual need to be better than everyone else, she realizes she actually likes knowing there are things tai is better at, because it's exhausting constantly trying to act better than everyone else. she's somewhat surprised when tai doesn't seem to be fazed by such casual violence, especially given that she was only a child when she'd done it—mikayla's used to receiving judgmental glances in response, because most people aren't as desensitized to violence as she is, having grown up with it her entire life. “yeah, no. she didn't try to get back at me or anything, though. i think i scared everyone, even back then.” another thing she's gotten used to, to the point where she prefers it, because at least she's left alone. “i did have my first kiss with someone else on that team, though. like, months later.” she's hesitant to even bring it up, because her thoughts are plagued with what happened immediately after, when her father caught them together—mikayla has to stop herself from reaching for the scar on her eyebrow, pulling herself close to tai instead, clearing her throat to make the joke she'd been setting up for in the first place, “so you're not the first one to get my attention. except, she kind of sucked.” from what she'd gathered during her extremely short time on the team, at least.

getting kicked off had been easy, because violence has always come naturally to her, like it's what she was born to do, but the aftermath of it had been hard—nothing she wasn't used to, but still something she wished didn't have to happen at all. mikayla moves her head back to look at her when she mentions breaking someone's leg, propping her head up on her hand. “that's kind of hot, honestly.” any normal person wouldn't think so, she's sure, but again—she's completely desensitized. “if you did, i get it—it would suck, getting that far and then losing it because one person fucked up.” she regrets the words almost as soon as they leave her mouth, because they'd lost it anyway, for entirely different reasons. so quickly, she adds, “so i would've done the same thing. on purpose.” she has done the same thing, and worse, having lost track of how many other campers she's injured just to make a point. “i wouldn't have hurt you—if we were on the same team or whatever. it might have ruined my chances of sleeping with you, so—you know. priorities.”

she doesn't believe that -- not in the way either of them would really want, anyway. but there's something about mikayla saying that at all that makes her feel good, so she'll take it. ❝  maybe. but-- i liked this option better, ❞ she reminds her. she definitely doesn't need a fancy hotel, but she did want to be alone with her this weekend, if only just to feel completely comfortable. and mikayla has done well with distracting her from everything else, which means mikayla really did save the weekend -- even if things may be weird right now. the awkwardness is still not resolved, but when mikayla comes closer, she doesn't much care. her arm quickly moves around her, pulling her in close as a small smile tugs at her lips. ❝  you didn't fuck anything up. i'm used to you being weird, ❞ she points out, this time speaking lightheartedly about it. ❝  i usually like when i make it hard for you to think . . . ❞ she taunts, but she lets the joke linger only for a moment before getting serious. ❝  it's fine. really. i know it's easy to just -- say shit sometimes. ❞ they might not have resolved the 'girlfriend' issue -- but she catches what she says now, admitting she has a thing for her, and it only makes her smile more. ❝  i don't know what's better, ❞ she says, deciding she doesn't want to brush it off -- for better or worse. ❝  you calling me the best --- or admitting you have a thing for me, ❞ she teases.      

she scoffs immediately and rolls her eyes. ❝  absolutely not, ❞ she teases. she's not above a rivalry, though -- even with the girl she likes. she's not surprised when she begins to explain, though, because she's paid enough attention to her and to everything she's said about soccer now to know that it must have been intentional. she's not caught off guard by her explanation, either -- because she's been there, her first big act of violence breaking allie's leg, something she always wondered if was what led to her being more and more comfortable with it in the wilderness. so she's not afraid by the confession, her fingers still gently moving across mikayla's back as she explains. ❝  wow, ❞ she says quietly, her hand sliding up to her hair, lightly twirling the strands around her fingers. ❝  guessing the two of you never became best friends? ❞ she wonders sometimes if she and allie would have talked after that day, had she not been torn away --- but she knows better, too, because she was never going to utter an apology herself.

❝  i'm glad you got off the team, then. sorry it wasn't easier than that, ❞ she says sincerely, debating for a moment whether or not to share her own history --- but she decides to, because when mikayla gives a little, she always wants to give as much as she can, too. there's still plenty to leave out, but it's a start. ❝  i broke a girl's leg once. she was a freshman. the only one on the varsity team, but she kind of sucked. or she didn't, she was just choking, and it pissed me off because it was right after states. ❞ before nationals, but she avoids saying it that way. ❝  i don't know. everyone thought i crashed into her on purpose to fuck her over. ❞ she pauses, because this is where she would typically brush it off, but being around mikayla makes her want to be honest. ❝  maybe i did, ❞ she says quietly. ❝  so--- i get it. ❞  she's quiet for a moment before she goes on. ❝ guess it's a good thing you and i weren't competing. ❞                

[shirophantomvox]

Leorio, Hisoka, Illumi, and Chrollo Head Canons #2

What’s up y’all! Thank you so much to the people who have given me feedback about what posts you all would like to see! This post will be about the “Adult Trio��� and Leorio about how they would help their significant other with a subject in college. This one is a good suggestion! I’m going to incorporate fluff in this, as I am a sucker for fluff. I hope you all enjoy this! I most certainly do. This post is about 2687 words but don't worry, it's worth the read! These head canons came from my mind its a coincidence that some of these pictures match the thoughts. Portentous (old English) means wonderful or marvelous (in modern English) FYI: I am thinking about creating a discord server for both Voltron and Hunter x Hunter fans. I don’t know how to use the fancy perks of discord yet, so if you know how to and can help me out, send me a message! Alright, let’s get to it! Obviously these images are from Pinterest.

Discord Server for Voltron and HxH fans!

Leorio

“Mr. Leorio”, as we all know, is a sharp guy. He dresses in a suit, carries a suitcase, and wants to be a doctor. This man knows everything about academics, especially math and science. He will need to know these subjects to be a successful medical doctor.

Leorio received an A- in Calculus II and a B+ in Organic Chemistry. He was the only one that passed with flying colors while everyone else barely made it. He didn’t gloat in their faces but as soon as he got into the hallway he jumped for joy.

He was extremely happy about his progress and counted the days until graduation even though that was in 5 years. Wow! Don’t we love graduate school?!

He deserved the high grades because he spent countless nights studying missing parties, football games, and being with you just to make sure he was on the right track to graduating on time.

As we all know, Leorio wanted to pursue this career because he witnessed his best friend dying in front of him powerless to save him. The care for his friend would have been too expensive. Obtaining his degree was in honor of his friend; he’d save countless children, women, and men who’d all thank him for his hard work.

Leorio didn’t socialize much, but he did find himself hanging around a group of classmates that were a part of a co-ed fraternity that provided information on scholarship money for graduate school and job opportunities. This is where he met you. You didn’t want to be a doctor but instead wanted to be a computer scientist and decided to volunteer for this fraternity job fair.

As he rejoiced, his smile faded when he saw you walking down the hallway; tears falling from your face not caring who stared at you. He quickly walked up to you, put his arm around your back, and gave you a soft hug.

“What’s the matter,” he asks.

You were failing Calculus, a class you’ve been taking since the 12th grade but for some reason, you couldn’t pass it. Everyone else had A’s and B’s, while you had a D. D’s aren't accaetable in college; most make you retake the class.

“Don’t worry. I’ve just passed my midterm. I can help you study. You’ll pass; trust me.”

Later on that evening, he kept his promise but gave it a unique twist. He kept the lights off and lit 4 Yankee-sized candles in the room that smelled like Lavender. In the background, he had piano jazz playing on his speaker. You felt confused for a moment. You and Leorio weren’t necessarily dating but you both flirted with each other here and there. He wasn’t a social butterfly, but he felt comfortable talking to you.

“Um...what’s the music for?”

“It helps me concentrate. Believe it or not, it helps my brain flow. You like it don’t you?”

“No, actually I don’t.” Truth be told you loved it but you wanted to pull his strings a little. He looked up with a confused look.

“Ok. I’ll turn it off.”

“I'm kidding! It’s great!”

Whenever he cannot solve a Calculus question, he reviews similar problems from Algebra II. He applies this knowledge to your problem.

“Perform the indicated function evaluations for f(x)=3−5x−2x^2 . I’ll solve the first part for an example: f(6+t) simply means you will exchange “x” for 6+t. It will look like f(6+t)=3-5(6+t)-2(6+t)^2=-49 . You’d distribute -5 and -2 to the numbers inside of the brackets in which they are next to.”

Wow, that was easy! Wait, not he must think you’re stupid.

“You must think I’m stupid, don’t you?”

“Of course not! It took me a while to understand it too. You’ll apply the same knowledge for the rest.”

After what seemed like 4 hours (which was 2), you finally finished your homework! It was probably wrong but at least you made it past the 1st question! As you blew out the candles and turned on your LED lights instead, you see Leorio sleeping on your couch. Something about his soft face made you smile and place your hand over your heart.

“My little doctor,” you whispered to yourself.

“Well, come give this doctor some company then. I’m freezing over here!”

The throw blanket was large enough for you both. Snuggling on the couch was a great end to a stressful day.

Chrollo

To everyone else Chrollo was “Boss” or “Boss Man” but to you, he was Chrollo. Big C was known for his love for poetry and language.

He read poetry any chance he had at lunch and even dinner. It had gotten so bad that you had to tell him for the millionth time “No books at the table!”

Given his past, he always read at least 2 hours a day or one book a week. Reading is what got him through the day.

He was staying in your dorm for the day to relax because he had taken and passed his midterms to. The young thief thought about hiding in the closet but he didn’t because he sensed that you’d be tense because of midterms.

As you walked through the door, you looked angry, so angry that you could punch a wall. He immediately rose to his feet, threw his arms straight out in front of him, and motioned for you to stop. You just stared at him blankly.

“Come here,” he said like you, on cue, melted in his arms. He was warm and the deepness of his cooing voice vibrated against your neck. “What’s the problem?”

“I’m failing this stupid Shakespeare class!”

“Really?”

“Yes and if I don’t pass this midterm I’m going to fail the class for the 3rd time. I want to drop out! Who needs this scam anyway?!”

Chrollo held you a bit longer until you were ready to sit down and get to business. You pulled out your college’s book about Shakespeare plays and how he used Old English. Chrollo was the perfect man for the job! He’s read Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet several times!

Chrollo read a few stanzas and explained them. He then had you read some on your own and explain them...still you can’t.

He notices the problem immediately. He catches you snuggling comfortably against his toned arm, nearly falling asleep.

Chrollo laid at the very corner of the couch as you lay horizontally placing your head against his chest. You were comfortable but you weren’t able to focus. He notices this and slightly demands that you go sit at the table. When it came to academics, he was serious.

For as long as he had been reading, he has an arsenal of vocabulary words ready to be of use. He created flashcards for you and had you flip them over for nearly an hour. You start to memorize the words!

But you’re not done yet.

“Say the word ‘portentous’.”

“Por-ten-trious…?”

“No. Por-ten-tas.”

“Tias…?”

He moved his chair next to you, just an inch away from your face. He cups your mouth and moves it as he speaks again. This wasn’t a hard clutch, it was soft and he wasn’t irritated but he could sense that you were becoming irritated.

“Por-ten-tas,” he said again.

Instead of letting your cheeks go, his eyes diverted to your lips. They were moist and plump, ready to be met by his.

“Your lips are gorgeous. Kisseth me quite quaint.”

Oh no. Look at the monster you’ve created.

Chrollo created a reward system. Whenever he did things right as a child, he was rewarded with money and jewels. For every word you pronounced and defined correctly, he kissed you once. For each word you got correct in a row, he’d kiss you twice.

Soon enough he had kissed you so much that you couldn’t see straight!

The kisses worked because you passed your midterm! Each kiss placed a stain in your brain that made you remember the definition and how to pronounce it.

You and Chrollo celebrated by drinking champagne and listened to him read Sonnet 23 and 57.

Hisoka

As unusual as it seems, Hisoka is gifted when it comes to Chemistry specifically. That is why you two work well together...there is some chemistry going on between you two.

His hair down and his glasses were his alter ego, it was something that made him act completely different than what you were used to.

When you all were freshmen, he would skip class, attend parties, and would be hungover almost every week but once he was called into the Dean’s office, he changed.

You slightly missed that edgy side of him, but you enjoyed having a serious beau.

Hisoka is a social butterfly and is the life of the conversation and you loved him for it but sometimes it was awkward.

While he was chatting away about Calcium (Ca) and Iron (Fe), you stood there nodding like an idiot. You had NO IDEA about what he was talking about and that is why you were going to drop your chemistry class.

“I saw an imbecile put aluminum foil in the microwave and it burst into flames. How did they not know that Microwaves are the radio waves falling under frequency around 2500 megahertz? Any metallic object detected by radio waves inside the microwave acts as a reflector of radio waves.”

You shove his arm hard. He was acting arrogant in front of his friends. You were used to this but it got on your nerves. You made mistakes, everyone does!...even those that almost burn down the entire dorm room.

You two leave the party and head to his dorm room. Once you were settled, you released a can of anger and threw it all over your boyfriend.

“Hisoka? You just humiliated me.”

“Oh? No one knows that I was talking about you, my dear.”

“Don’t ‘my dear’ me! I asked for your help and you’re ignoring me. I don’t appreciate that. I didn’t ignore you when you sprained your ankle, did I?”

“No, you didn’t, dear. I supposed I have a few hours to kill. What do you need help with?”

Hisoka’s way of studying was much different from other students. He exercises like crazy before he opens his textbook.

He listens to EDM instrumentals while on the treadmill and when he lifts weights. You weren’t standing there like a trophy, he made you lift too.

“Being healthy will help your brain flow more easily. Lift this dumbbell as heavy as you can.”

He ran a mile on the track upstairs. Sweat dripped from his face like he had been standing outside in the rain.

By the time you returned to his dorm, you were beyond tired. You laid your head on his pillow but just as you closed your eyes, he pulled you up on your feet.”

“Not on my watch,” he tutted. “It’s chemistry time.”

You were having trouble memorizing Chemical Formulas and this by far was the most difficult concept you had come across.

To make you stay awake, he turned on a bright LED light and faced it towards the table. The bright light nearly made your head fall off from the pain it reflected in your eyes.

Hisoka grabbed his book and began to write down the major chemicals on the periodic table and their charges.

“Pay attention to the following abbreviations and charges: Calcium is Ca, Chloride is Cl+2, Carbide is C+2, and Carbon Dioxide is CO+2. Read these over and I’ll test you again.”

He did just that but you still weren’t understanding. You were ready to give up.

Stupid scam. Why do I need a piece of paper to determine what I can do? You thought to yourself. Well, it’s obvious. If you can’t do the work now, what makes you think you can do it at a job? Harsh, I know.

“Let me try this,” He said. He carried you to his bedroom and gently placed you on it. He took off his shirt and removed his glasses. “Aluminum has a charge of +3 and Oxygen has -2. If there were three of me and two of my clones disappeared, how many of me are left?”

“Just you, right? One”

“Correct! Excellent.”

Wow, everything started making sense once he took his shirt off.

From then, he just inserted himself into the equation and then it started to make sense! He apologized for running his mouth earlier and promised to keep any more secrets between you two. The night ended with you sleeping in his bed wrapped in a cotton blanket just cuddling and that was it. And bam! You slept as sound.

Illumi

Dating the “hot” quiet history buff was a flex of its own. Sure Illumi didn’t talk to anyone besides you, but it didn’t matter. People swooned if he looked in their direction.

History was a popular major during your era. People were not like their grandparents; they wanted to learn about other cultures besides their own. Illumi’s specialty was in world history and civilizations. The class was very interesting to you but there was so much information, you could barely process it.

Illumi often wrote his essays in one day proofread and all! He often charged people to look their essays over.

One time he made $500 in one year!

Glancing at your transcripts, he notices that you have a C- and offers to help.

“Why are you looking through my stuff?”

Hey, he’s your boyfriend! But still, he should ask.

“Sorry. It was up on the screen,” he said, throwing his hands in the air.

You began to blush in embarrassment. The hottest smartest man in the building now knew that you were failing one of the easiest classes on campus.

Placing his thumb under your chin, he lifted your head to meet his gaze. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I can help you.”

“How? I am so behind! I zoned out after chapter 2!”

“We’ll watch a movie.”

“Oh, God! Not one from PBS is it?!”

“Yes. How else are you supposed to learn?”

He turns on the movie and allows you to lay your head on his shoulder but not too much. He is aware of your tricks and he wants you to pay attention.

Every 15 minutes, he pauses the movie and asks you checkpoint questions. If you got them wrong, you had to stand up with your underclothes on (t-shirt and shorts) in the cool room for 10 minutes. If you got the questions right, he allows you to lay more comfortably. You were already in your underclothes but you were under the blanket.

He made you write down key definitions and the embarrassment of each section.

After the movie, he blindfolds you and reads out a term. Surprisingly, you got them all correct!

As a reward for your past midterm, he takes you to dinner at a restaurant where he slips a promise ring on your finger containing your birthstone.

[8uggestionamplifie6]

I've been thinking. Would Anakin and Padme actually be good parents?????

Like, think about this realistically.

Anakin already has a kark ton of problems. For one, he does NOT know how to love unpossessively. Two, he is already super controlling and kinda toxic(?).

If he leaves the Jedi Order to be with Padme and the twins, he would never learn the difference between attachment and love.

(And yes there is a freaking difference. Love is when you care about someone to the point where you want them to be happy, even if it's not with you. Attachment is when you 'love' someone so much that you can't stand the thought of that person being with someone else that isn't you. There is a very clear difference. Even George Lucas said it in a few interviews.)

Like, I'm pretty sure Obi-Wan tried to teach Anakin the difference, but Anakin just never understood it or didn't want to accept it. Anakin wasn't raised in the Temple. He wasn't taught Jedi beliefs and the difference between love and attachment on a daily basis by the creche masters. Instead, he had been freed from slavery, separated from his mother, Qui-Gon got killed, and he experienced a MASSIVE culture shock once he was accepted into the Temple, and he had been paired with an (although good) unwilling master AKA Obi-Wan who only accepted Anakin as his student because of Qui-Gon's final words.

Yes, I know, they do eventually develop an actual strong relationship, but the main reason Obi-Wan fought for Anakin to become his padawan in the first place was because of Qui-Gon. The only reason why Anakin was even accepted into the Order was because of Qui-Gon and later, Obi-Wan's insistence to keep his promise to Qui-Gon.

(Also? Really Qui-Gon? You had nothing to say to your Padawan who was basically your son? Even when you appeared in the Clone Wars, you hardly even cared about Obi-Wan, you just obsessing over Anakin. Like, I get that he's the 'Chosen One' or whatever, but I don't care. You don't treat your apprentice/son like that. And then you had the audacity to force a guilty and crying Obi-Wan who was holding your dying body to promise to train Anakin Skywalker, who Obi-Wan didn't even like for that matter? Like? Bish, you ungrateful nerfherder.)

As I said, Anakin doesn't understand how to love like securely and non-possessively. He was probably taught it by Obi-Wan and the rest of the Jedi, but that information clearly went through one ear and straight out the other.

Maybe Anakin would be a good parent for the first few years of Leia and Luke's lives, but the moment puberty hits? BAM! Helicopter parent right there!

This mainly concerns Leia because in Anakin's mind, she's a girl, she's not a trained force-sensitive, so she can't protect herself, and she's HIS daughter, she shouldn't do this or that, she can't have this or that. She can't have male friends, she can't hang out with any guys, etc. Because Anakin doesn't want Leia to not spend time with him or not be there constantly. He's controlling and he wants to control her life. Like I said, she is HIS daughter, not her own person (scroll all the way to the bottom for an explanation). He'd likely refuse to let Leia go to any parties, talk to any boys, or even have a basic social life.

Things might be a little different for Luke. Anakin might not be as controlling but will still be controlling to some degree.

Moreover, Padme would NOT reign him in or even stop him. She's already shown in AOTC and ROTS that she is perfectly willing to make excuses for any and all of Anakin's bad terrible decisions even though the evidence is right there in front of her face.

Like, she seriously tryna make me believe that killing a ton of innocent people in the Tusken village is good? Sure, maybe SOME of them might have deserved it, but all of them? No, they didn't, especially not the poor innocent kids. Like, Padme, is you good in thy head or not? You ain't see no red flags?🚩🚩🚩 anybody?

Also, in ROTS, she knows that Anakin is fully capable and willing to kill innocent people if he believes someone he loves is in danger/dead, but when Obi-Wan tells her what Anakin did in the Temple to the Younglings, she tryna act all slick like, "I don't be knowing what you talkin about", even though she clearly does. She seen Anakin confess what he did to the Tuskens and now she tryna lie? And on her death bed, she tryna convince me and Obi-Wan that Darth Vader is still good, like, did the dude NOT just strangle you and kill a bunch of innocent people?

I may be dumb, but I'm not THAT dumb, okay? I understand what murder is. Anakin just straight up shanked all of the Jedi in the Temple with the 501st.

Like, bruh, I get you smart and all, Padme, and you a senator and all, but I don't know if have any more brain cells than I do money when it comes to Anakin. And I have 0 dollars right now.

So, like, no, I don't think Padme would stop Anakin in the slightest. She'd probably make more excuses for him, like "that's how he shows his love for you" or "just get over it, Leia" or even "he's your father, let him do what he wants".

In short, the freaking helicopter parenting would continue and Luke and Leia are gonna be trapped because they ain't no trained Jedi. They can't do shit and they are still minors.

Leia/Luke might even run away from home or even Fall (*extreme case**very extreme and unlikely but still possible*) 'cause they are force-sensitive y'know.

Freaking Court might even get involved. Some lawyers might also be called up. Luke and Leia better make sure to dial the numbers of some therapists for their parents, too, and also maybe a mind healer. Neither of your parents are straight in their heads.

Anyways, none of yall gotta agree with me 'cause this is just my opinion, but at least look at it from my point of view first before you hate on me in the comments. Like, I really hope that Anakin and Padme would be good parents but I just don't see it working out (????).

I hghly recommend this fanfic for any interested reader. It explains the problems of helicopter parenting from Anakin very nicely, so please read it. Also, please read some of the comments.

There's more!!! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Let me share something:

"A desperate parent hovers; a good parent guides."

Every parent needs to learn to let go of their kids eventually. The kids are going to leave the nest sooner or later and the parent needs to understand this.

Maybe, during the first 15 years or so, the parent can hover, but once that kid starts wanting to be independent, you gotta start giving that kid some space.

Like a bird, they gotta spread their wings and they can't do that if they stay cooped up in the nest for the rest of their lives. No baby bird is gonna fly immediately after they gain their wings and feathers. They gotta stretch them out first, do a few practice runs, and then they'll finally know how to fly.

Same thing for your kids. If they want independence but you know that they can't handle it yet, just give it to them. They gotta learn somehow. They gotta practice. And you just gotta be there to catch them if they fall.

You can stop hovering and instead start guiding. Because your son/daughter isn't just YOUR child anymore—they're becoming their own person and you need to realize and accept that. They're becoming an adult and your equal, so you gotta stop treating them like they're just your kid. Bc they're both your kid and their own person and you gotta realize that.

You can't keep your kids in the nest forever. Sooner or later, they're gonna rebel against your hovering and they'll cut you out of their lives bc you're being a toxic influence on them and they know it. Then, despite all your desperate hovering to keep your kids safe and in the nest, YOU are going to be the reason why your kids don't want you in their lives anymore.

You just gotta let go.

Yes, you can hover like a desperate parent for the first ten and a half years of your kids' lives, but eventually you're gonna have to stop doing that. Because they aren't dumb ten year olds anymore that need your constant hovering. Now they're teens and now they're adults who are experiencing the real world.

And the only thing you can do is accept that your kid has grown up. Or they will grow up. Or they are growing up.

You just need to cross the line from hovering to guiding.

You gotta let go of the bike sometime and let your kid ride on their own without the training wheels.

You just gotta cross that line. Maybe it'll be a little hard, but when was parenting ever easy? I know that it'll hurt to have to let your kids go, but you just gotta trust them.

You have already spent the last nearly two decades loving them, caring for them, and teaching them all you know. You just have to hope that they'll keep your lessons and teachings close to their hearts and that they'll listen to the occasional advice or two.

You just gotta trust your kid and your parenting skills, and cross that line.

Your son/daughter has become their own person. And the only thing you can do is be there for them, be ready to support them, be ready to give some of your wisdom, and trust that they'll succeed.

For helicopter parents, however, they never cross that line between hovering and guiding, and I'm not sure Anakin would be able to either.

[seacottons]

— uni with atz pt. two

notes: swearing, fluff, mildly suggestive dialogue. tags: @latte-fairytaekwoon

seonghwa — [ early edu. + developmental psych. ]

extremely organized in all aspects of his life

your bookshelf at home consists of books on developmental studies in children.

if he isn't in class or volunteering, he's either cuddling with you or reading.

stressed 24/7.

takes very pretty and neat notes.

randomly spits out facts throughout the day.

sometimes, you join him during his volunteer hours at various daycares and schools.

is all the children's favorite teacher.

extremely patient and soft-spoken when it comes to working with even the most difficult child.

also loves being called 'teacher hwa'.

"i don't know, if i were you, i would make the students call me king san."

"they'll probably end up bullying you," seonghwa replies back.

you don't know how he has the patience for the amount of children he has to take care of.

takes you picture-book shopping with him for his students.

finds himself singing nursery rhymes while cooking or cleaning.

has polaroids of you two stuck on the fridge.

brings lint rollers to work.

gets worked up in public if a parent seems too neglectful in any way.

"y/n!" he tugs at your elbow and points with his jaw to the right, "look! his kid is just spilled all that paint on the floor, and he didn't even bat an eyelash!?"

"don't intervene again, please."

"okay, but-"

the whining of metal and steel cut him off, and the two of you jump in fright at the sound of a shelf falling apart.

"some people really shouldn't have kids."

whines when he comes back home that the paint stain and glitter just won't come off his clothes no matter how many times he rubs the spots with warm water.

or how he has mulch stuck in his socks and shoes from taking the kids outdoors to play.

you somehow always end up finding a googly eye or specks of glitter under the couch.

sometimes brings home finger-paintings with numerous colorful hearts and two stick figures in the middle.

"today's assignment was to paint what makes you happy."

you also help him stitch up little felt and cotton dolls for the kids to keep.

often gets sick from working with children.

and passes it onto you by accident.

you know he's had a bad day when you ask him how it went, and his face scrunches up in pain.

stormed into your shared apartment one day and made a beeline to the bathroom.

forty minutes later, he comes out, towel wrapped around his hips, face and chest flushed, and explains that a child accidentally peed on him.

gets flustered when you laugh at his demise.

sometimes uses his teacher voice when scolding you or your mutual friends.

and you all end up teasing him more anyway.

"do you use that tone in bed too, hwa?" yeosang asks one day. mingi and yunho splutter out in disbelief, followed by loud laughter.

you choked on your bite of cake at the sudden remark.

"what did i ever do to deserve this slander," seonghwa grumbles whilst patting your back.

he often stays up late making lesson plans for both his classes and ones to implement at work as well.

takes full advantage of his teacher's discount at shops and restaurants.

sometimes brags about it to his friends to get under their skin.

"you have it easy. just watching kids and getting free food," san says one day in the middle of their game of jenga.

"it's not easy at all," you hear seonghwa reprimand the younger, and laughter rings out from the other four guests.

"you're learning about children! what's so hard-"

you had a hunch that seonghwa purposely tilted the wooden tower to tumble over an unsuspecting san.

"y/n! your boyfriend is trying to murder me!"

seonghwa paces in circles around your apartment whilst studying for an upcoming exam.

asks you to quiz him on certain materials.

"correct! okay, can you define the preoperational stag-"

"how many kids do you want to have in the future?"

"..what?"

"kids. how many do you want to have with me?" he presses further, eyes trained on your face rather intently.

"can't this conversation wait until you finish studying?"

"no. i'm too curious," he licks at his chapped lips and leans in to poke your forehead, "i need to know. this is important information. please."

yeosang — [ biology pre-med ]

met you through your mutual friend, wooyoung, who invited him to live in your shared dorm.

"you didn't tell me you have a dog?" yeosang turns to wooyoung, brow quirked up whilst pointing to the 'beware of dog' sign on one of the bedroom doors.

"oh, i don't. i just put that up to mess with y/n," wooyoung dismissively explained while making a sandwich.

is the reason why you and wooyoung haven't killed each other yet.

asked you out after five months of moving with you and wooyoung.

designated one of the kitchen's shelves as a medical supply closet.

"because wooyoung always ends up hurting himself without doing anything."

"i do not."

stress is his middle name.

constantly contemplates his life decisions.

"wooyoung! shut up! i can't finish my essay with you blabbering every damn second!"

you had to get used to the sight of a full sized anatomical skeleton in his room.

"okay, but i'm not letting you fuck me with that thing in here."

later that night, wooyoung's heart nearly burst in his chest from fright.

"yeosang! why the fuck is your skeleton in my room!?"

some nights, during dinner, yeosang slams his obnoxiously large textbooks onto the table, and insists for the two of you to quiet down while he skims over the pages a few times.

"can't you just enjoy your meal for five-"

"no. now hush."

not only does he have labs, presentations, and essays to worry about, but he also got accepted for a pre-med internship at a local hospital.

hardly goes out anymore during his free time.

most dates include cuddling on the couch or baking something in the kitchen.

stays up late at night to complete assignments.

towers of thick books decorate his nightstand.

"no, yeosang. i really don't want to see you dissecting a cat," you grimace, turning quickly and shielding your eyes from his phone.

"why not?" yeosang whines softly, hand tugging the hem of your shirt with a frown, "it's not that bad, i promise-"

he's cut off when wooyoung snatches the phone from him with a loud cry, "gross! y/n, you're letting him touch you after he touched that?! and fuck- what is that smell?"

"that's formaldehyde. now give me back my phone before i dissect you next."

you join him at the lab when he has extra work piled up.

"you look so cute with a white coat and goggles."

you prod and poke him repeatedly, asking him numerous questions about the specimens in the lab.

"y/n! don't touch that!"

one day, wooyoung comes home sick.

you insist on taking him to see a doctor, only for him to emit a haughty laugh at you.

"why would i waste my time and money when i have yeosang here?"

"but woo, he didn't even get into med-school yet-"

wooyoung insists he doesn't need to see a professional, "yeosang is practically our live-in doctor! why do you think i begged him to move in?"

you roll your eyes, calling for yeosang to persuade the younger male.

"alright, tell me your symptoms," your boyfriend sighs, plopping down onto the couch beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

after wooyoung explains everything and takes his own temperature, he peers at yeosang for an answer, "well?"

"you're dying," yeosang nods simply.

wooyoung's visage pales, and he scrambles to sit up on the couch with a disturbed expression.

"what?"

yeosang is always studying.

always.

studying.

you insist for him to take a break sometimes.

"i can't. i have lab tomorrow. oh, and a paper."

"but you always say that!"

you attempt to tug him out of his seat.

"come on! just for an hour, and we'll be back. promise."

he's always reluctant at first, but finds himself agreeing later anyway.

enjoys the small dates at the nearby lake probably more than you do.

mingi — [ accounting ]

a gifted genius when it comes to numbers.

is your very own math tutor.

jokingly asks you to pay him back.

he accepts kisses and hugs. baked pastries are also a bonus.

"y/n? are you okay?" a hand waves in front of your face.

you blink at him wordlessly, mind fogged from the bombardment of information you just received, "sorry- you lost me. can you repeat the process again?"

he playfully smacks your shoulder with the ruler and stomps his bare feet onto the tiled floor, "this is the third time!"

"i'm sorry! you know how i am with math!"

he begs you to take classes with him as electives.

"sorry, baby. i love you, but there's no way i'll ever take statistics."

"okay, what about economics?"

"no."

"management? business administration!?"

"no and no."

"but y/n! it'll be fun! you'll be with me!"

always whines about how much he hates having to take 'stupid management classes' and the group projects that come along with them.

"they never take the assignments seriously!"

said group visits your apartment to work on projects with mingi.

"aren't you supposed to be working on that project?"

you watch as mingi and his friends suddenly erupt in an explosive argument about the game they were currently playing.

"yeosang! what the fuck!?"

"it's y/n's fault mingi was distracted!"

you let out an indignant squawk and glare at yeosang.

"that round didn't count."

"stop being a sore loser, san!"

"so.. i take it you didn't even start?" you grimace, peering over to the untouched books and papers on the coffee table.

"it's just management class. no big deal," san explains quickly with a dismissive wave of his hand before nudging your boyfriend with a glare, "you better not make us lose this time, or i'll kidnap y/n."

stays up late to finish other work that's due.

loves to wear big spectacles when studying.

it 'helps him focus'.

writes notes on his calculator and slides it towards you while you're both home studying.

'n-3^07-!'

"mingi, what is that?"

"read it upside down, you bum."

has a coffee mug with 'i love π' in big, bold, red letters.

refuses to throw it away even though the rim is chipped.

always bugs you about how you should have a budget plan.

insists on teaching you how to make spreadsheets on excel.

"i can't do this, mingi. too much numbers give me a headache."

"do you want my lucky glasses?"

rambles on about things related to his field, and you can only nod in confusion every time.

"how does your brain keep up with all of this?"

"easy. just be one with the numbers."

"that was a bad pun.."

"you're supposed to laugh!"

mingi was that typical student who complained about studying, but is always the one acing everything with the highest score.

"i should just quit university and become a stripper."

"you say that every exam week, and yet, you always pass with the highest grades," you mumble from the other side of the couch, absentmindedly highlighting a few sentences in your book.

"yeah, but studying is a pain in the ass," he exhaled with a loud groan, head thrown back against the back of the couch, "why me, y/n?"

you roll your eyes while reaching over to pat the side of his face in comfort.

"everything will work out just fine."

later that week, he joyfully bounces into your apartment with a large grin plastered on his face, "guess what?"

you snort in amusement.

"let me take a wild guess. you aced your exam."

"and guess who has the highest score?" he tugged you forward by your cheeks with a bright grin.

"yeosang?" the cheery expression on his features suddenly vanished, causing you to laugh, "i'm kidding."

likes to study while attached to your side, wearing comfortable pajamas and warm socks.

sulks whenever his stock investments drop further than he expects.

and is always in a good mood whenever the prices spike back up.

always has a horrible math pun up his sleeve.

sends you accounting memes and becomes a gloomy mess when you don't laugh or understand the joke.

"what if i propose to you with a math problem? and we have pie instead of cake?"

"please don't bring math into our love life."

yunho — [ broadcasting journalism ]

roommates with you, hongjoong, and jongho.

is called 'newspaper boy' by hongjoong.

is well-known around campus for being one of the student journalists for the university's newspaper.

you have the very first published paper, with his full name printed on the front, framed in the hallway of your dorm.

has the prettiest hands.

and longest fingers you've ever seen.

can put them to good use.

especially when typing out essays. they're practically blurred from how swift he is.

likes to ramble about current international events to jongho early in the morning. the latter pretends to understand, giving the other false hope.

jongho always sends you a pleading look to save you from your lover.

always carries a notebook.

article deadlines = stressed yunho.

complains that his friends are 'uncultured'.

helps you with your essays.

if he has enough time, he'll actually re-write it for you.

"was it really that bad?"

"it's okay, baby. you're good at other things."

"how come you don't re-write my papers?" jongho huffs from across the living room.

"you're not y/n."

interviews you and your other roommates for his projects.

you smile from behind him as he zooms in obnoxiously close to hongjoong's disgruntled expression.

"he zoomed in on my nose again, didn't he?" the blue haired male asks you.

"sorry, but that tomato sauce stain is really distracting me."

hongjoong nearly drops his fork.

"what stain!?" he furiously rubs his face with the back of his hand, "see! i told you that you always interview us at the most inconvenient time!"

is constantly writing.

can be very unorganized.

"who took my ap stylebook!?"

"can you stop shouting? it's 6 a.m., yunho!" hongjoong growls from his bedroom.

mingi and seonghwa often visit your dorm because they're usually partnered with yunho for an assignment.

it somehow always winds up with mingi and yunho fooling around, whilst seonghwa struggles to persuade them to help him with the work.

sometimes, you tag along to help film his public social experiment projects.

is a social-bug, so people are instantly drawn to him.

likes to cuddle with you while watching the films for his assignments.

you think most of them are pretty boring, but being in his lap and tucked against his chest makes up for it.

you like to add glittery stickers onto his video camera and tripod.

is very much infatuated with you, so he doesn't mind one bit.

applied for a paid broadcasting radio station/tv internship over the summer and was quickly accepted.

asks you to help him style his hair for his first day at work.

"but it's just a radio station. no one's going to see you?" jongho questions with a perplexed expression.

"i still need to look presentable!"

and later that day you quickly hush the two males beside you once the clock strikes 2 p.m.

"quiet! yunho should be on any second now!"

"i was just breathing?" hongjoong whispers weakly.

over dinner, jongho often mimics yunho's reporting voice.

"y/n, do i really sound like that?" yunho pouts as you and hongjoong burst into fits of laughter.

"aw, don't be sad. i love your reporter voice, baby."

will wake everyone up early the next morning by yelling at the top of his lungs with his reporter voice just to get back at you three for laughing at him.

[laurs-visionboard]

I owe you an apology

Saying sorry isn't always easy, especially when you think you couldn't have possibly done anything wrong. But I have done something wrong and I've been beating you up emotionally and verbally over it. I haven't loved and appreciated you properly. And every time it hits me that I need an attitude adjustment, I tell myself to be kinder -- but that doesn't always work.

You're my body and you do everything for me. I know I do my best to give you well balanced meals, new adventurous foods we haven't tried yet, lots of rest and exercise at our favorite classes. It's after that, when it's just you and me alone, when I get a really close look at you that I start to get judgmental. I start to get rude. I start to say things to you that would crush me if other people said to me. That simply helps no one.

I look at our face and think "if only it was slimmer," "I need to put makeup on to even bear looking at myself." That face is the reason I can smile at cute dogs on the street; take in the beauty of springtime in its prime; stare into my boyfriend's eyes when he tells me for the millionth time how much he loves me.

I look at our arms and think "I wonder if the skinny girl next to me is thanking God her arms don't look like mine." "They didn't used to be this way." My arms are just weeks away from holding my brand new god-daughter who will be the most beautiful, tiny miracle to grace my family's life.

I look at our stomach, with uninvited stretch marks and think "how did I get to be like this?" "Summer is coming and bathing suits have never intimidated me more." My midsection is proof that bodies change as life does. It's proof that 5-year old articles of clothing aren't forever and it's okay to give your closet a makeover.

Insecurities are crushing. You know that, since I continue to take mine out on you. You don't deserve that. You're beautiful and everyone in our life feels that way. I'm so extremely sorry it's hard for me to see sometimes. You have never let me down. You've shown me I'm stronger than undiagnosed disordered eating, stronger than mom's intense diet culture being forced on us since elementary school, stronger than comparing myself to everyone I wished I looked like, stronger than crash dieting, stronger than being scared to participate in crucial life events because I thought you looked "too fat."

We're here now. We're killing it in our daily lives and I'm so fucking proud of us. We've gotten to a place we've always dreamed of and I couldn't have done it without you. You and I are a team and we always will be. I promise to look at you like I look at everyone else I love because anything else would be unfair and unkind.

I know you will, but I do hope you will forgive me. The next leg of my journey toward self-acceptance starts now.

[bored-storyteller]

Okay, I humbly apologize. I had a bad time - and unfortunately it's not over 😩- but here's the second part with three other leaders. I know I know I know! Malleus is missing! I'll try to post Mal today too- tomorrow, it depends on where you are - I promise.

Please I know you love him so much but love me anyway 🥺

14- Dorm leaders x down!s/o pt.2

Kalim Al-Asim

· Kalim is magical and exhausting at the same time. Yes, s/o love him from the bottom of their hearts, but dealing with him in times of stress is exhausting.

· The young nobleman does not really know the stress, at least, for what s/o can see, and this leads him to overcome any worries. It's not that he doesn't want to see other people's problems, it's just that he can't think of them.

· S/o as the days go by they feel worse and worse. The head often hurts and tiredness brings them into a state of almost half asleep. If Kalim saw this he would be very worried about them, but their presence for him is a fact. He is convinced that if something went wrong s/o would tell him, right?

· But no. How could they say no to his requests? That is, actually there is not even time to refuse.

·  Jamil is worried. He sees what is going on and tries to marginalize the problems. S/o should rest, they could ask him for help - as if he wasn't already doing everything in the dormitory-. But s/o know that the vice leader is already very busy, burdening him with their study problems and their worries is not the case.

Having to deal with Kalim really means having almost never breath. Even his affection can sometimes be a problem.

Yes, s/o certainly love him, but three days before the start of the test session, the thing more than making them happy is shaking them.

They have studied practically nothing and really feel their strength failing. While everyone is studying carefully, they are struggling to finish their homework for the next day.

The nights for s/o are now nothing more than a staring at the ceiling in desperate search for information that does not exist in their head. And the lessons are so heavy in the morning that their hope of getting through the year is almost zero.

Sometimes the idea of dropping out of school even went through their mind. They would certainly be freer.

Right now, s/o they are hiding in the bedroom, surrounded by study books.

It doesn't matter how much they read and reread those words, their overfull mind wanders over their fears, not making them memorize anything.

There is no way they can overcome this. They curl up on the bed, clutching their knees to their chests and doing everything they can to keep from crying.

Suddenly the door swings open. Kalim comes in with his cheer, filling the room with his happy voice.

It seems that he is excited about something, but s/o can’t help but look at him with wide eyes without understanding.

His exclamations echo in their heads as if it were empty, breaking the delicate crystal walls.

"Stop!" They cry when even the last fragile column of their sanity is brought down.

"Stop!" They repeat, bringing their hands to their faces and collapsing supine on the bed.

"Stop it! I can't take it any more! If I continue like this I will go crazy!"

The arms cover the face wet with tears. They are not really shouting at Kalim.

He stops suddenly, a little frightened by that reaction.

What happened? Where did he go wrong this time?

When the silence weighs too much, they still speak: "I ... I need to get out of here, I... don't want to be in this school anymore. "

Kalim listens in silence for a few moments to their sobs, then slowly, shyly, sits beside them on the bed.

"No ..." he murmurs, "I will help you, whatever your problem is." His voice is that of an injured child, but his arms raise s/o to his chest, to hold them against him and protect them.

"Everything will pass, I promise you. But I can't be without you."

The fingers pass slowly through the hair of s/o while his crimson eyes scan the books around them.

Kalim's arms hold them desperately. Right, how could they leave him alone? In short, who would help Jamil then?

That thought makes them smile, and while s/o get up seated they give to the boy a simple and light "ok", and then they resume the study with a quieter mind.

Kalim no longer talks, but neither does he leave, he simply remains close to them a little to comfort them, a little for the fear that they will move away from him, until he ends up falling asleep on their lap.

Vil Schoenheit

· Here, another guy who made stress his life. Some type of stress. Obviously, he must meet expectations.

· This also applies to those around him, or rather, to those who are close to his heart. If he demands so much from someone, it means that he cares about them. In a sense, even his insult when it is constructive is flattering.

· But for an already stressed s/o, dealing with him is extremely anxiety-provoking. You have to be perfect, everything has to be in order, and for an already fragile mind, well, the step to break is not far away.

· Still, he bears a great deal of stress on his shoulders without showing it, but he doesn't notice that others can sometimes be overwhelmed, and his manners aren't exactly delicate when it comes to appearances.

·  S/o are almost afraid of him every time his eyes meet them. What will he say? What's wrong with them?

Yes, they know how important the smile is, but they can't do it. In the library they leaf through the book they hold in their hands with empty and dull eyes.

They don't have to look good, on the other hand disappointment for themselves keeps them up all night.

There is no way they can get through this period, not for how they are.

They sigh, placing the book on the shelves and giving up. They fold their arms on the table as they sit, and there they hide their tired faces.

S/o  would like to go into hibernation, everything would be easier. No commitment, no judging eye ...

"S/o, my dear." The firm voice of the Poemfiore leader makes itself heard. It is firm, severe even if placid.

What's up now? Oh sure. They are not sitting upright with their backs. Hair is probably a mess and their eyes have been ruined for days. They already know to suck, there is no need for him to say it. They already hate each other, and there is no need for him to see how ugly their sticky face is with tears.

S/o do not move, as if he were not there, they remain closed inside themselves, in such a state of surrender that not even Vil can grasp immediately. But he understands that something is wrong. It never happened that they ignored him.

 “S/o.” the name is repeated again, but this time it is accompanied by the delicate hand of the leader who touches the hair of s/o.

As soon as the fingertips touch the head, as if they were of fire, s/o spring back, scared as if they had a ferocious beast in front of them.

Vil stares at those eyes so full of fear. Afraid of him.

In their dark circles he sees all the suffering of those days, all the dozing sadness. And in that situation of desolation, they feared him as if he were their enemy, the one who wants to harm them.

"No… Please..."

A prayer comes out of their fragile lips as if he is ready to kill them. He's not sure if they're clear-headed... no, they seem to be in another world. A dark and lonely world.

Vil's white fingers caress s/o's chin. They do not retreat, but tremble as if they were blades.

"I won't hurt you. I'm just worried about you."

His words are clear, as always, but a little sweeter than usual. He patiently sits in front of them, without losing contact.

"You can tell me what troubles you."

Finally the gaze of s/o meets the beautiful eyes of the boy. Eyes so beautiful, admired, and at this moment sincere.

S/o they bend down again, resting their forehead on Vil's hand while holding it with theirs. There they cry, for once without the weight of the angry gaze, but only surrounded by affection, while Vil gently caresses their head.

Idia Shroud

·  Ok, how to say, this guy is made of stress.

· Idia fears the social relationship, people stress him, what is not his room and his computer stresses him. He is not an easy person to manage.

· S/o are practically elected. They are fortunate to be admitted to his. In short, they can remain curled up on his bed without him saying anything.

· Usually are s/o who take care of him, who try to support him and calm him down, but sometimes of course they are the ones who need support ... but well, Idia practically doesn't exist.

· It is not his fault, but even if he cares about s/o in a way that even he did not believe possible, he is not good at social relationships. Very often he will limit himself and stay next to them, still connected to the internet. They don't mind, usually.

But this time the boy's body isn't even close to them. He is far away, in the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the screens. Yes, they are not even totally sure that he is aware of their presence.

Ortho, to their disappointment, is not present.

S/o don't need to be there, but for some time now they have felt a lump in their throat that they can't swallow. They have failed a test, and there is no way to recover it, or so they believe.

The truth is that they are nothingness.

They have to study, but loneliness echoes in their head. Nobody wants them.

So they slipped from the leader of Ignihyde to find comfort. It would have been fine even if he had been silently beside them, but no, he was elsewhere. They had seen an excited light in his eyes when they arrived. Maybe chat with someone online? Of course, those friends are better than them.

A failure, a weight, that's s/o.

Small tears wet the already dimly lit page.

In the darkness in which they find themselves, they sink into the anxiety and fear that they have been holding inside for weeks.

That horrible feeling of emptiness that causes the brain to tilt.

Idia does not notice the sobs. S/o are hidden, curled up into a ball on the boy's bed. Nothing makes sense to them anymore. More they cry, more they lose consciousness of their surroundings, and everything disappears.

Idia is too caught up in his game. He does not really notice that s/o are not well.

Only when he turns enthusiastically to communicate something to them does he hear them.

Sobs are louder now, but they don't know it.

Heart breaks in Idia. How long have they been crying? Two hours will have passed since they arrived. Why didn't they speak?

Oh God, it's his fault ... he sucks with people so badly, and he always ends up hurting them.

Maybe they came to him because somehow they believed he made them feel good, didn't they?

He gets up from his chair, unsure of what to do. Embarrassed he approaches them.

God, they seem so fragile. Will he break them if he touches them?

Slowly, as if he were dealing with a kitten, he places his sweatshirt on them, and then, a little scared, he sits next to them.

They seem lost, s/o don't react.

Idia feels the butterflies in his stomach from agitation. Suddenly, it seems to him that the figure of s/o is fading away in the dark of the room. It's scary.

Shyly he stretches his arms around the small figure and carefully pulls them into his chest.

He feels their sobs freeze for a moment, almost frightened, and then finally the muscles relax, while they abandon themselves to him.

"Sorry, I'm a delusion..." They murmur, clinging to him.

So is this what they think?

"No ... you ... I ... find you beautiful ..."

He speaks shyly. He's not exactly that these words are what they need, but that's what he really thinks.

His cheek is warm against their head. Maybe he's blushing.

How can they not smile at this?