#sometimes i'm a sap
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It's New Year's Eve!!
I just wanted to take a little time to reflect on the year and celebrate it and say a ginormous thank you to everyone who has taken the time to drop by around here!! It's been a blast getting to share the Thunderbirds love and I love writing for TAG so much!!
This year had some major highs and lows for me which we're not going to dwell on, because the most important and fun thing is the spreadsheet I set up at the beginning of the year has had it's final update and I have numbers and graphs to happily geek out about!!! Naturally there's some skew - particularly with anything pertaining to AO3 since fics published earlier have had more time in circulation but still, I think it's made for a pretty good overview :D
Numbers and sappy feelings and reflections and things under the cut (there's even some pretty pie charts)
I published 45 separate works this year - many were short ficlets and subsequently gathered into the Thunderbirds Snippets collection which was the "fic" that overall had the most engagement (pretty impressive when you consider the collection only has AO3 stats!). This came to a total of 43,456 published words for complete stories (plus a whole slew for wips! At least another 20,000 is languishing in other documents :D We'll see those come out to play soonish, I'm sure)
As is usual for me, the overwhelming majority of fic this year was short oneshot stories. In fact I didn't finish any multichapter stories this year! Just didn't have the time for that kind of commitment for most of the year :D I also relied a lot on people giving me prompts and I'm endlessly grateful to them (especially @janetm74 and @katblu42 who sent me prompts nearly every time I asked!). I would have spent a lot more time feeling sorry for myself and languishing in writer's block without them bolstering me along <3
As you can see, I did make a fic genre graph, but I'll be honest - this is something I need to tweak for next year because I don't feel the genres well reflect what I actually wrote. This is partially because I only made space for each fic to have one genre, and partially because I dont think the genres I picked well described the writing I did. But looking it over, there's a clear emphasis on family dynamics and the ups and downs that go along with them and I do think that's my favourite part of writing.
When looking over the characters that called to me the most this year - Virgil's our clear winner! Which I think is hilarious because I feel like I wrote with a large Scott emphasis at the start of the year and a large John emphasis towards the end. But the numbers don't lie!! I think partially guiding this is that I wrote a lot more drabbles for Virgil (and Gordon.... lots of them two together!), but Scott and John got more substantial stories on the whole. Maybe. I'd need to check the raw data :D
In terms of people - I am totally blown away by how generous people have been reading my work <3 I see you and it's an absolutely humbling thing to see the same names cropping up over and over again, returning to read my stories which I don't often have a lot of confidence in (fake it 'til you make it, right?). Somehow getting an overview of the whole year only reinforces that and across AO3 and Tumblr I have nearly 4000 thank yous to say; one for every like, kudos, comment, hit, reblog, reply, whatever <3 Many many of which are being given to the same people over and over again, you guys literally rock hardcore and when I think about that number I'm literally so overwhelmed. It's easy to post something that only gets a couple of notes or kudos or whatever and feel discouraged, but when you look at the whole picture? Unreal <3
Now for the fun part; I've gone and taken all that data and figured out what my top 5 most popular fics of the year have been (excluding the snippet/prompt collections :D) so here goes!
Consequences [tumblr] | [AO3]
Cave In [tumblr] | [AO3]
But Not Forgotten [tumblr] | [AO3]
Roommates [tumblr] | [AO3]
The First Time [tumblr] | [AO3] and Hard Places [tumblr] | [AO3] (tied!)
Hey did you know typing [ tumblr ] did that? New things learnt every day lol...
Amazingly, these didn't line up with MY favourites nearly at all! So I've listed my personal top 5 stories below <3
Capture Comfort [tumblr] | [AO3]
The Scare Floor [tumblr] | [AO3]
Consequences [tumblr] | [AO3]
"Prompt Generator #5" [tumblr] | [AO3]
Different Universes [tumblr] | [AO3]
I'm not much for goal setting; it reminds me too much of school and sitting in stupid form classes with zero ideas as to what to say because apparently writing "I want to do my best and enjoy myself" wasn't a good enough goal. So instead I have some ~~intentions~~ that I'd like to carry into 2023 <3
Get better at replying to comments >///< I don't mean to ignore people and I know most of you know that but I do think replying to comments is! an important aspect of community building in fandom and I've neglected my part in that :P I love you all I swear and there's a lot of people I'd like to get to know better <3
Deep breaths here because this one does scare me - I want to write and finish Where Parallel Lines Meet. The scope of this fic scares me but I do love it and I know that it's going to push me a lot. It's going to be great though <3
ARCHIVE AS I GO LIKE WHY DO I NOT DO THAT (it's the titles rip)
This one isn't writing - I just want to rewatch Thunderbirds :D
Finally I've got some specific people to thank. You've all been amazing and kind to me this year and I'm giving you all the giant-est hug. You're also all incredible storytellers and writers and artists in your own right and I am genuinely so thankful to know you all <3
@gumnut-logic - I know I say this constantly but I LOVE getting to geek out about all sorts of different things and I have to say thank you for reading over so many of my fics and picking me up when I think that they're terrible <3 You're the bestest friend and I'm very lucky to have met you :D
@katblu42 - I love your very cheery chats that we've gotten to have, lots of laughter and fun and you always have such sensible advice it's great. Thank you for diving in and not missing a beat when I get randomly dramatic about whatever I'm writing because even when I've completely failed to explain the context you always seem to know exactly what's what :D
@janetm74 - you've been such an incredible cheerleader and every time (because you've done it multiple times!!) that you go through my AO3 and read stuff and comment in quick succession is always so exciting and overwhelming because what the heck?? Remember those 4000 thank yous I have to give - I'm pretty sure at least a thousand of them are yours <3 Thank you as well for sending me all the fun space things you think I'll enjoy and also for egging me on when I'm spouting off silly ideas in response :D I'll need to give them all a proper go someday!!
@gaviiadastra, @the-original-sineater, @godsliltippy, @mariashades, @amistrio - I've so enjoyed getting to know you all this year - you're all amazing writers and totally inspiring and very kind to boot :D I love how unique you all are and how you all bring such amazing ideas to life and I have to say thank you for both chatting with me but also for sharing all your wonderful work <3
@squiddokiddo thank you for be a very consistent source of encouragement and fountain of kindness when I'm having down days in my personal life. You didn't know me at all but that never stopped you from reaching out and checking in and given that this year was beyond shitty in many various different ways it meant the world in ways that I didn't always know how to express <3
oh and there's so many more people - I've had the good fortune to make some amazing friends and I love you all very much.
I don't think I'll get the current chapter I'm working on done today, so this will likely be my final post of the year (although lol I'm sure I'll still be mucking around on my main) and I KNOW this is sappy and you're not meant to put emotion into the data, but it's pretty damn difficult when the numbers are made up out of friendship and people reaching out from across the globe to say "hey, me too <3"
So see you all in 2023!! I can't wait :D
#sometimes i'm a sap#that's all there is to this post#numbers and sap#in case you choose not to read this (bc fair enough it's long)#allow me to wave from here and say thank you thank you thank you to everyone who's read any of my fic this year I see you and I love you#have a great end of the year <3
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c'mon, deku
#mha spoilers#sometimes a moment calls for a hug and the source material fails to deliver#that's where i come in#and maybe it's too sappy for canon but not for me i'm a sap i love friendship i love self-sacrificing devotion i love hugs#i drew bakugou's gear wrong and i think we as a society need to move past that#bnha#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku
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#blabbering#blehh#nothing serious I'm just being whiny rn#feeling so much tanked confidence in my art and OC stuff recently#shriveling up into a crunchy leaf#I wish I was better at being more presentable with this stuff#I just have a different process and it's too fragmented to share things easily until I can fill in the gaps or make it more cohesive first#but all my time and energy keeps being sapped away and I'm head empty most days so it's hard to engage like I want to (also it's so lonely)#and it's making me so slow at finishing anything. I also just feel very uninteresting rn too ugh#sometimes I feel I just don't have the same kind of personality and speech vibe/interactions as everyone else and it makes me boring#so that just makes me feel like i'm not cool enough either I guess haha#i'm like the quiet kid in class again
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Thinking how "i must be someone new" has rewired my brain chemistry. At a first glance, this isn't a revolutionary statement by itself, but given the context in the band's entire discography and the time frame of my life when this song was released, i am so, so, SO fucking grateful for it. My life has been fundamentally changed by a few certain events around two years before it was released, but due to Some Extremely Stressful Events that happened afterwards, i was in a constant state of survival, so my brain didn't quite catch up with the magnitude of the change. Fast forward to the beginning of 2023 and Some More Stressful Events (This Time Emotionally) and i have been. Well. Not fine. And overthinking everything 24/7. But then Euclid was released and it hit me hard. It keeps hitting me hard every time i hear it. It made me realise that the tragedies and traumas of the past few years have fundametally changed me and it doesn't sit well with some people, but it is not my fault the new me is not what they expect of me. Hell, it made me figure that out about myself quicker than my therapist told me about the exact same thing (tho she was more hardcore, she straight up told me that i died. I love her, btw). This line played at a perfect moment at a cemetery once, when i was turning away from my family grave after a particularly overthinking-prone visit (a. it was a bit creepy tbh, the timing was eerily accurate and b. yeah, yeah, i was listening to some music at a cemetery, because i just can't sit in silence for even a few minutes when i am alone, ok?). I am someone new even here, on tumblr dot fucking com. 10+ years of being here and i was avoiding any interactions, any fandoms. Look at me now!! I truly must be someone new. And it's a damn good feeling.
#we're being emotional at this chilli's tonight friends#but. i just. i just love euclid okay#i love what this song has done for me#and i will always cherish it#i'm sorry for being a sap it happens sometimes#i will be back to my usual goofy self soon
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y'all I am soooo tired I think the rest of the fics are going to be very much late 😔
#this morning I was like 'yeah! I can do this!'#and then I went out and had an appointment and I've basically been exhausted ever since#had a brief perk up when my nephew was here but besides that??? nope#I'm just not keeping up with these like I usually do ough#how dare like three things go wrong this month that sap my writing energy rather than fuel it 😤#maybe I need another depressive episode sometimes those actually kick me into writer gear for some reason#...I'm kidding dw#but it did kinda work last october...#KIDDING#rambles from the floor
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I've been extremely happy with my clown dog progress so far considering the last time I """paused""" working on them they were loose unpainted faces and disassembled pelts (and stayed that way for.... months), BUT I find myself really itching to make my own Little Creature from scratch again........ I think once I finish Cotton Candy's outfit I'll pause that project again and finally try making a little poseable doll 🤔 if I can get a base body pattern figured out for that, I could change out the head/tail shape and fabric color/pattern as much as I want and make all sorts of different little dress-up-able creatures.
#I try really hard not to look at any of these endeavors exclusively with an eye for ''could I turn this into a money-making opportunity''#because that immediately saps a lot of the joy out of it for me. I'd much rather just make things that I'm personally excited to make#and then if someone expresses an interest in it and is willing to pay fairly. maybe I sell them what I made/make one custom for them#BUT at the same time... I only have so much space in my home LOL#I really DO enjoy making these things but I also simply cannot keep and treasure every single one#so I do sometimes think more like... ''I wonder if anyone would buy this after I'm done creating it''#I feel like that still preserves the ~joy of creation~ for me at least#and also like. I haven't made ANYthing in enough volume to actually even try selling them yet lmao#I'm certainly never gonna sell Grub
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I mentioned last week that Pumpkin went to the vets and that he's been unwell recently - he's been so just, Not Himself while he's not been well and it's hurt me so much to see.
I've bought him special food, special paste, a calm diffuser thingy, the vet visits - I have tried my very best to care for him. And taken on the extra shifts at work to afford it RIP.
And just when it started to feel like its all been too much, just in the last couple of days he's been himself again - he wants to play, he's been purring, he's been drinking his water, looking out the window. He got the zoomies earlier, where he just dashes from room to room, and played with a silly balled up piece of paper I threw for him, and I'm just feeling like a total idiot because I'm crying in my hallway because my big doofus (affectionate) cat is back to normal. I live alone except for him - he's my best buddy and roommate and all that work and effort feels like it was worth it to see him like this again
Sorry this was boring personal stuff, but if I tell anyone I actually know that Pumpkin is so much better and more himself again and it made me cry they'll look at me like they think I need help
#anyway! tldr - my cat is feeling better! I cried about it! I'm a big sap!#just some personal lifey stuff about my cat if anyone was wondering how he's been#I forget sometimes that tumblr is also a blogging website and I shouldnt feel bad if I want to do the occasional blog kind of post#pie says personal stuff
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Is torial and asgore still together in the fell!handplates au? Is that the divergence from Canon? that instead of torial disagreeing with asgore about war and leaving she instead agreed and encouraged vengeance for their children?
If that is the case who do you think ends up living in the ruins? I know what probably happened with gaster but if he chooses to leave with the boys would he live In the ruins as an escape?
Haha, that was what I thought as well! I don't really know much about fanon-agreed-upon Fellplates tbqh, but when it came up in conversation, we talked about how since they're both on the same page vis a vis killing humans, they probably would still be together haha - or that Toriel still lives in the Ruins and only comes out to beat up Gaster lol
Personally I like her being in the castle with Asgore, murder power couple <3 And she'd have very direct access to bully Gaster! I see this as an absolute win
I'm not sure, Gaster escaping with the boys isn't something I'd considered before :0 I think the Ghosts definitely still hang around the Ruins, so I don't know how dangerous it would be for them to live there if they were hostile. There's also something? weird? about Fell!Mercyplates that I can't quite put my finger on haha
And remember, this is still Zarla's AU! I just it like a bunch ♥
#UT#Handplates#Fellplates#Fellplates!Ghoster's dialogue about Toriel really makes it seem like her treatment of him is recent doesn't it ♪#That's what lead me to that conclusion anyhow :)#I'm still something of a sap even in this intentionally edgy set of circumstances lol - I like when they're all together!#Even if sometimes that means Certain Somebodies are being tossed around lol#I also think that if anyone would have the ability to move between the Ruins and the rest of the Underground it would be Toriel#Basically calls dibs on it lol#As long as whatever makes the exit impassable stays in her control I think she'd make the most sense to have it#I think it's at least implied to be magic? Like not just a key or other similar object#And Gaster couldn't break into it when Toriel disappeared so *shrug*#I suppose I could see him trying to make a mad dash for the Ruins but I don't think he'd actually be any safer there than anywhere else#If that was something he even thought to do or wanted to do haha#I dunno! I kinda just like him following the same self-destructive path he's always been on ♫#Which involves him being the worst hehe <3
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#it always upsets me when people belittle or mock children for not being rational when they're experiencing emotion#for so many reasons but mostly because. we all feel the same#whether we are 7 or 20 or 56 or wherever we may be#i still feel small out of nowhere for things i didn't realize i was feeling until a certain point#sometimes it's for the same reasons and sometimes it's not#but i had a moment like “i had a nice day? i feel like i've been going and going along just fine”#but i live under subtle pressure constantly and forget it's there sometimes. but usually i like to pretend like it isn't there#i have been confined to boxes my whole life in so many different ways and i'm aching to break from them#i'm being patient and understanding but. christ shdkghgk#i need to disappear for a while#float in a lake. hide in the mountains. lay in a field. idk idk#liminal cravings#sap says
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I hope this isn't weird but earlier I was thinking about how much good artists do in the world, and so many artists don't recognize it. You bring a lot of joy to a lot of people. I've gotten a few commissions from you at this point, and every time I look at them I get so happy because, man, there was someone who took time to create something for me (I know I payed, but still!) Beyond that, I have seen when you draw little doodles just because people inspire you to eith their asks. You practiced your skill and you use it to make others happy and that's so valuable. You contribute a lot to this world just by bringing people's moods up, and I hope you recognize that. You're pretty awesome :)
t thank yuou ,....
#fave#snap chats#HIDING BEING THE BIGGEST SAPPIEST SAPPY SAP IN THE TAGS#PLEAAASSSEE BRO I CAN'T ALMOST BE CRYIN AT 11AM THATS SO EMBARRASSINGGGG#BUT REAL THANK YOU SO MUCHH 😭😭 i say it a lot but i really cant stress how happy i get making other people happy#and thank you for commissioning me !! it's helped me out a lot so thank you for the support you've given me in the past :')#i hope i can continue to make you happy whether its through a future commission or the lil drawings i do everyday#i keep re reading this byyyyeeeeeee im a big ol blubbering BABY this is really sweet#i say a lot that i draw for myself and i do but i also have you guys as motivation to get better#cause sometimes i just wanna hang up a drawing or idea but then i just think like 'there'll be at least ONE other person who'd like this'#and if i can make one other person happy then i'm more than glad to put in the extra work and get that pay off#so i have to thank you guys a whole lot too for giving me motivation to draw everyday and help nurture that passion#cause sure i love drawing and i love the things i draw but it's always nice to h ave other people cheering for you too#it's nice that i can get other people interested in the stuff i like..#didnt really get that growing up so im glad i can have that with yall now and have fun :]#so again thank yall so much for bein lovelies and chattin with me and leaving tags and just supporting me#CANNOT stress how much it means to me so again. Thank You. i hope me drawins can show a fraction of my gratitude
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if you ever put nice things in the tags when u reblog my art i'm giving you a lil kiss :]
#sap says#txt#if u say nice things about my art i'm taking ur hands n dancing w you and giving u a lil twirl#sometimes i don't “finish” things due to lack of time or energy or motivation but i still post 2 archive it#n people like it anyways!! it's like when u cook smth and it doesn't come out how u expected#but people still wanna eat it n even like it and say it's their favorite meal like.#i would fight for u. do u understand?#i would fall in battle and die smiling thinking of you#anyways
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we all have soulmates (we walk past them every day) 1/2
Dream/George || Dream & George || Post-Dethronement, Angst & Fluff, Fix-It of Sorts, Protective George, Soft Dream & George, DNF Being DNF (Derogatory) & DNF Being DNF (Complimentary), Gentle Bullying, George’s Love Is Stored In His Desire To Crush Dream’s Enemies, Sapnap Is Here (In Spirit), Oops! I Panacea’d :(
8k || 1/2 || pt. III of unlucky ones || it’s so easy from above...
Summary: George has managed to achieve the impossible: with a king’s conviction and a tender heart, he brought Dream home and then, the morning after, convinced Dream to stay.
Even while he greedily hoards Dream’s love, he cannot forget that there is a world outside, too. One which would try to take Dream from him again. And it will come calling sooner than he wants.
But George does not need a crown or a throne to be a king. In pursuit of keeping Dream at his side, he is willing to do whatever he must and remind the server that he is the true threat.
Dream has always, since that very first moment, looked at him as if no one else in all the realms existed. As if George was indeed everything that should be worshiped: the sun, the moon, the stars, the world, an embodiment of the universe itself made of flesh and blood and yet divine.
As if George is Dream’s heart given life in a separate body only so that he might better hold it in two devout, careful hands.
Read on ao3. ++ [series theme song!]
#dream smp#dreamsmp#dsmp#c!dnf#c!george#c!dream#cdnf#cgeorge#cdream#vm writes sometimes#was this originally supposed to be all one chapter like the rest and it isn't because it exploded in size and took up more time?#yes.#i am so sorry c!sap you are relegated to being in george's thoughts and the next chapter...whenever THAT comes out#(i didn't want to rush through it though! so i think it's better to give the sapnap section room to breathe! :D)#ANYWAY#pt3 of heartbeats like eighty years late as usual i'm sorryyyyy#dreblr#(since this is a c!dre positive fic series :))#('panacea'd?' you might ask. well. it means i introspected all over the place sorry!)#vm.fic#vm.fic: heartbeats
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why do brains have to be so mean to creativity. you're a sponge that developed electrical impulse based thought, the fact you can string together a series of symbols to make words at all is incomprehensibly impressive.
rude ass electric sponge.
#alyx rambles#just. in the throes of struggling with writing again#doing prep work has been so fun#and i'm excited to write a bunch come november (maybe)#but. that thought of 'who are you even doing this for' comes to me and saps the joy away#and that's a silly thought--really#i should be doing it for me--and usually that's the case#but brains are brains and they always crave just a little bit more of something#even if they don't know what that something is sometimes
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I should be writing shadow au oops, I'm sorry I am working on it slowly but these guys possessed me I wanted Syn to menace May and them chat about aus my brain is bouncing around XD enjoy! (Syn belongs to @seasidemew)
More multiverse shenanigans
May should've been working. May HAD been working, until the larger mewtwo decided to descend upon her. She could feel the warmth of his chest on her back as he leant over and into her body, arms wrapped around her his tail lightly hitting the floor as he purred quietly.
"Can I help you Syn?" She asked slightly amused by this sudden affection but also it was rather inconvenient.
"Mm…" He hummed softly, "No, I'm just glad you're so small and cuddly here." She sighed softly, feeling him give her a little squeeze like she was some plush teddiursa.
"Which world did you find out about then? Perfect or Poached?" She asked simply already aware of the many vast variations of herself and knowing those were the most recent and the only ones so far that played with her height. His tail stopped lightly thumping.
"What's poached.." She could tell by his tone he didn't know what it was and felt a bit of panic settle in.
"...oh you know..like with eggs…" May deflected keeping her eyes on the very interesting tiles on the floor.
"May. What happens in Poached." Syns arms shifted subtly to more restrain her preventing her from trying to duck or wiggle away but still remaining quite cuddly. She made a bit of a whine bringing a hand to cover her mouth as she mumbled.
"Ikindamaybegetcaughtinadarkball," she mumbles unintelligibly into her palm, his weight leans down more into her making her exhale softly in an oof.
"Careful big fella I can't support your whole weight!"
"Well I can't hear you when you're mumbling so I gotta lean closer," more of his weight presses down and she makes a slightly panicked 'ack' in response to his antics as he simply chuckled.
"Who the hell let you watch lilo and stitch alright give give a bit I can't talk like this," his weight lessens on her back as she sighs exaggeratedly before awkwardly fiddling with her hands.
"I get caught by poachers, caught in a dark ball..hence the name.."
"A, dark ball?" She audibly sucked air through her teeth at his question, hesitating on telling him.
"it's uh..type of pokeball poachers use…Darkness says the technology used is quite impressive actually, has a similar function to a master ball can capture any Pokemon instantly," she felt his weight shift, "hey I'm getting there!"
"You're stalling," His voice was a playful singsong.
"I know I'm stalling!" She emptily shouted back, "it's, not fun to talk about," her voice awkwardly quietened and she felt his weight lessen and heard a soft apology, she sighed, "the dark ball…it can enhance a pokemons original ability bringing it to it's highest possible level augmenting them to be even better than they were originally.."
"Why would that make you bigger?"
"Because I'm, not," she struggled for words, "apparently I have potential and I was meant to be tall and powerful and the dark ball artificial unlocks and forces that version of me into my most powerful state.." She didn't want to talk about the how it did that though. She felt him gently squeezing her body again but more as a hug.
He hung his head down a little besides her eyes screwed tight and she gently put her hand to his head rubbing the side of it comfortingly as he experienced new memories from across the multiverse.
"You're, yea, I see it, you're brutal.." He mumbles a bit as the new memory of the fighting ring enters her head.
"I guess so…guess being forced to max level does that..sorry about knocking you about so much." Memories of a fight began to form in both their heads as the new world grew and they became aware of it.
"Oh it's fine, it's kinda hot actually you're efficient," He chuckles, lifting his head up a bit to smirk at her playfully moving to gently bonk his head against hers to which she made a mock 'ow'.
"How come you hesitate on landing the match ending blow?" He furrows his brows at his memory.
"Because I don't want to hurt another mewtwo, not really, guess seeing your bloody bruised face was enough to get past the dark balls influence. Must have a thing for bloodied up pretty boys. Well gives you enough time to strike and then kick my ass." She laughed softly as he guiltily chuckled.
"Yeah I'm sorry, I really saw an opportunity and took it."
"Hey we were in a fight, i'd rather you won especially with your history." He hums above her gently squeezing her again.
"You, escape all that right? I don't recall seeing you again."
"Yea, I get out.. Thanks for asking, nice to know you care." He chuckled softly.
"I can care a bit!" She laughed a squeal as he squeezed her again, picking her up a bit before putting her down as he sighed softly in guilt, "I, actually learnt about the other one, Perfect was it? I'm, sorry for how I act there..I hear you saying you don't want to fight. I can see you dodging and avoiding fighting back and." He signed again, "all I can think about is how good it'll feel and how loud the audience will cheer when I take down such a big powerful opponent." She felt him squeeze her in guilt and moved her hand again to carefully hold the side of his face.
"Hey..its okay I get it I understand why, maybe I don't understand there at first but here I understand and I've hit you pretty hard and brutally before myself, I can't hold a grudge."
"You always fight like that to protect others or as a last ditch self preservation thing, it's not the same."
"What would've happened had you lost?" He went quiet in thought, turning his head away at the new suggested memories of losing and the fall out of it.
May was quiet as her hand moved once more to hold his face as he pressed into her touch knowing without him having to say that it would've been bad and although he did it for himself there was also a level of survival to it. She felt him purr softly against her hand.
"Feeling better now huh?" He hummed softly against her, "can I get back to work now ya great lug? I can feel something hard and pointy jabbing into me and I hope its that crystal." He howled an abrupt startled laugh at her joke moving instead to scoop her up into his arms ignoring her protesting.
"Oh no I think I'm going to steal you away for myself for a bit actually," He turned his head towards the general direction of the kitchen, "I'm stealing May for a bit, deal with it!" before turning to carry her out the restaurant leaving the owner quite confused.
"You put me down, this is kidnapping!" She couldn't hide the excited giggling in her tone as he carried her away.
"I just figured we should get some privacy if I'm gonna jab you with something hard and pointy." She squeal laughed into her hands as he carried her away kicking her feet in too much energy as his tail wagged behind him chuckling at her joy.
#My writing#May the mewtwo#@seasidemew oc#@seasidemew syn#cw mature humor#Tw mention of blood#The Perfect thing is in reference to my A little different fic but basically May there doesn't get the darkness megastone#So ends up a big big powerful girl because I've kinda started hc the synergy corruption in that megastone sapped Mays energy#Which stunted her so Perfect refers to her being 'perfect' because she's big and has powers but like also wow all trauma#Multiverse Syn really sees a tall powerful version of May and goes “THAT'S HOT” only to learn the version of him in that world absolutely#Beats the shit outta her in the battle ring because due to trauma May doesn't wanna fight back or hurt him and goes NOOOOOO#So goes to cuddle his tiny May because ough no stay tiny and perfect like this I don't wanna think about the sad :c#Multiverse Syn definitely has more empathy and cares more because hmm sometimes my wife yes lmao#Also you heard it here first folks bloody pretty boys are Mays type™️ XD probably why she helps him when he's injured#Not immune to a pretty boy bleeding out XD and yes she calls him a pretty boy he probably loves it like yes I AM pretty#I've not actually talked about poached before it's an au in my head so dw no ones missed anything#Her getting big is a reference to the tyranitar in the 4ever movie!! I'm allowed to bullshit cause that fucker gets big so may get big too!
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I wasn't very close to a person I met on tumblr, but I really cared about them. Thinking about them still gets me sad because I just enjoyed how they treated ppl. Its one of many reasons why I hesitate to develop friendships with ppl. I don't want to miss ppl. But I've had to "rewire" my mind to find the happy memories & be glad I had interractions with certain ppl.
RIP my friend. I miss you.
#sorry for being a sap#I just care too much sometimes#which aint a bad thing#I just dont the fact that I can sense when ppl I'm really close to die#it bothers me
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I'm very lucky.
I wake up in the morning to his touch. There's breakfast and coffee on the table for me. The coffee's warm and made exactly how I like it. The chores are done with me, if I'm having a difficult time doing them myself.
He holds me willingly. He looks at me with respect. He looks at me with lust, when the situation calls for it. He listens to me. He engages with me and my interests.
What did I do to deserve this? All I've known is abuse. It feels good, but it also feels strange.
#foxglove saps.#I accept it openly. I truly do. But sometimes I feel an ache of “I don't deserve this kindness.” I won't push it away though.#Sometimes I just feel...unworthy I guess. But I know it's from those that made me feel like I'm unworthy before -- nothing to do with him.#���
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