#sometimes i wonder if id actually like that kinda thing irl but i dont think so. i didnt enjoy yhe few times its happened to me

[grossillygirl]

i have an obsession with public groping fantasies recently. i just want my tits to be grabbed, my nipples pinched and pulled and played with. someone to rub their cock on my ass, taking my hand and making me stroke them until they cum, walking around with their cum on me uhdhdbdbdb

[conceptkin]

# trauma dream

had a weird and kinda fucked up dream about my grandma who was my most significant/active/longstanding abuser in childhood.

the dream felt so… distilled?… distinctly symbolic; simplified as much as possible, seemingly without losing (almost any of) the essence.

my brain fog has been getting better since i started taking L-theanine, and apparently we (the system) are taking the opportunity to unpack the complex effects that being left in the "care" of someone clearly two-faced and cruel had on me as a child. my dreams have always been affected by those experiences (90-99% of them are about / involve an element of being hunted / on the run), tho usually its just left unclear why im running or what from.

but this time, my brain produced something akin to a slice-of-life psychological horror game, with an antagonist that acts differently based on whether you've got eyes on her. and like, at first i didnt really pay much mind to her presence, tho i took it into account, since im used to that element of threat in dreams and thats not the focus most of the time. but this time it somehow became the explicit focus. maybe because it was also explicitly her.

it worked on video game logic - if you fuck up, you can start again. (i did experience the relevant traumas in very similar ways many times, often trying different tactics, so this kinda makes sense.)

the game mechanics were as follows:

1. grandma will scout for weaknesses at all times and think of fucked up little schemes whenever her brain is not occupied with planning and doing chores.

2. sometimes she will (seemingly) randomly take destructive actions when not being observed.

3. she has an invisible annoyance→aggro meter that, once filled, drives her to be destructive in plain sight. i could easily contribute to filling this meter, and it couldn't be unfilled without her making some kind of attack on something. her destructive acts are often nonphysical.

4. she is bigger and stronger than me and will restrain or lock me in a room if she gets to me. (irl this didnt happen all too often, i usually got away, because-)

5. im faster than her.

6. other people will not interfere in the game. (tbf technically i could've maybe walked off and changed the entire context, but it would've been a different dream then. maybe next time tho.)

7. the smallest, softest, most gentle and defenseless dog is somewhere, roaming the property. grandma finds it very annoying and is likely to kill it. (not a real thing that happened at all, tho we did have a dog and she wasnt a fan, i dont remember irl physical violence in that direction. tho this is emotionally reminiscent of an incident where she immolated a toy of mine. waking assessment indicates that the dream dog (which was also much smaller and a different color from the actual irl dogs i remember, it was tiiiny & so fragile) represents my naive assumptions that my family is normal and is there to keep me safe. we will learn that it was all really about this dog.)

she would only aggro like 10% of the time, usually with a tiny bit of warning too, so i wasnt exactly Comfortable going up to her or entering the house, but it wasn't unthinkable.

i would idly talk to her abt stuff, like, i think there was smth abt watering the garden, and also, strangely, i saw she had cast a spell on her bed linens/duvet, so that they were just floating, suspended in space, to air them out? and i saw this and i said "oh id just been wondering if magic was offline or it was just me", which???… as if magic was supplied similarly to wifi or phone service or something?

its weird, but the way i felt abt it closely paralleled irl feelings ive had abt skills i failed to attain due to neglect. because like, in-dream, i had to be so vigilant, constantly on guard, that i couldn't have taken the time to practice my magic, i just accepted the loss. at least for the duration of this godforsaken “game”. the whole thing was clearly out of my control.

i remember feeling the same hopelessness/helplessness irl about being left alone for long periods of time, being abandoned by adults who were supposed to watch me, dismissing my attempts to build connection / show affection, etc. they were emotionally, intellectually, and often even physically unreachable at times when it was crucial for me.

in the dream, there was smth i felt here abt being glad that she did have access to magic, so that maybe i could still learn those skills from her, or at least exploit her access. (in waking life im aware that she unfortunately does actually lack a significant amount of critical thinking, social and self-regulation skills to this day, and never had much of anything wholesome to teach me. it was all drenched in trauma the whole time, bc she obviously had a bad time growing up too. she grew up with 6(?) siblings and no electricity. and im pretty sure shes autistic too.)

anyway, so i remember the dog being around in the first loops. but i noticed some weird shit going on with the dog, like i couldnt discern the pattern of where to find it, and i started to worry about it, bc like despite the video-game-like format, this whole thing was also semi-real, so i was like “i wonder if this actual dog is safe” lol. (and its kinda fucked up that its a dog. that says something about my relationship to my own innocence, if thats what it represents, because i am not a dog person at all. i perceive them as helpless and possessing of many traits that displease me, such as noisiness, stinkiness, clumsiness, drooliness, and of course, the sin of being uncritically and unconditionally adored by innumerable people despite all of these flaws. its mostly the noisiness tho lol, im very sensitive to noise.)

so im trying to survive / not lose the game by getting caught/restrained, but im also kinda looking for this dog.

the last scene i remember before waking up was finding the dog in a small room, but getting cornered by grandma… and for some reason (i guess i was looking for a way out, like a window or smth) i turned my back for a moment before i thought to close the door between me and her, but then… the fucking dog was gone? and im pretty sure she just like, poofed it. made it disappear without a trace, a sanitized children's game/cartoon style death. (kinda ironic.)

some part of me considered if the dog couldve escaped. its so small, and i didnt think it was her main target, but after some analysis, ive concluded that it was. (this is backed by some things i learned about her mindset as an adult.) so she either killed it, my innocence, or otherwise made it disappear / be uncontactable to me, and left me alone, because that was the goal. to make me cynical and paranoid and reclusive, hypervigilant and aggressive and impatient. just like her! she did this on purpose.

realising this was what woke me up.

concepts illustrated (to me, not necessarily communicated in what i described but just trust me bro) by this dream that i learned in childhood & more clearly now recognize to have formed the bedrock of my worldview:

1. i alone am responsible for my safety and wellbeing, nobody else can or will protect me. (made pretty good progress on this overall, but i def still have issues asking for help etc.)

2. everyone is untrustworthy in some significant way – liable to catastrophically fail/betray me at unexpected times in various creative ways and with little warning. (classic.)

3. justice is unattainable. (i hate this one the most. this is the one that locked me in for way too long & i still haven't fully escaped it. tbf, this is afaict a widespread belief around here.)

4. despite all of the above, i still need to make the best of these opportunities to interface with people, because otherwise i will die. (this one makes me want to give my child self a hug forever. what a nightmare environment; except yeah, actually the case in real life. well, they probably wouldn't have let me die, but in my head, the other option was to like, escape to the woods and just live alone in the wild. or i guess maybe i couldve been institutionalised also, if i really refused to cooperate, but i didnt know abt that back then. either way, i didnt have any options much better than to just try to adapt to being mistreated.)

my mom had to work and she didnt always have a choice about leaving me in the "care" of my grandma. she looked for other opportunities when she could; she made a decent effort to be kind to me, even if she didnt always succeed.

she grew up with an even worse version of what i experienced, after all. that's her mom. her dad is an alcoholic, the mellow and permissive kind, thus neglectful. this pair has always been verbally aggro at each other literally almost all of the time whenever ive seen them interact (and i lived w them between ages 2-11.). they still live together, so its been >50 years of that. its sad, they are probably autistic and certainly grew up neglected af too. & not to get political but i just cant help it: im convinced a lottt of these issues stem from cultural trauma. and ive never heard anyone talk abt the effects our history has had on our culturally-inherited mindset!!! its terrifying.

in conclusion: fuck that shit. im so glad im not talking to gma anymore. staying in touch w her was an incredible injustice i was doing upon myself for years. i tried talking to her abt those events a couple of times and she could barely admit any fault at all. i think being free of her irl is a significant part of why i could even face the things this dream brought up. im proud of myself for how far ive come. yay for me and fuck colonialism.

[tommybaholland]

Heya c !! I saw you opened a request so,, 💃💨 anyways can i request a headcanon bnha? With a fem s/o who has like, a deep voice for a female range? With bakugo/todoroki 👀 i kind of deal with this irl ngl, like my friend would always mock my tone 💀💀 (kinda funny tbh-) That's all if you want to :,D Alsoo have a noice day/ night!! (P.s i friggin love your writings, they're all cheff kith 😚👌

fem s/o with a deep voice

featuring: bakugo and todoroki (x fem!reader)

hey, this is an awesome idea! and i can relate, as i also have a lower pitched voice for a female. but it doesn’t bother me much, i love seeing what kinds of impressions i can do with it! anyway, thanks for reading and enjoy :) 

bakugo

before you started dating, it alarmed him at how low your voice could be 

he would mistake you for todoroki or shoji at times 

almost blew you up when you startled him accidentally 

“watch it, IDIOT or you and that deep ass voice will get blown straight TO HELL!” 

over time, he finds himself thinking about how attractive your voice is to him

as much as he wants to deny it 

but there’s just something about the way you sound so stern and threatening sometimes, especially in the heat of a battle 

he’d let you order him around with that voice 

secretly hopes to get any chance he can to fight you so he can hear that low voice of yours work 

when you did eventually start dating, he admitted to you that he thought your voice was one of the most attractive things about you 

but he does find it annoying when you try to impersonate other people 

(even though your kiri impression is pretty spot on)

goes ballistic when he overhears you doing an impression of him for the rest of the bakusquad and they’re howling over it 

“what THE HELL do you think you’RE DOING?!?! i oughta tape your mouth SHUT”

“you better watch out bakugo or she’ll replace you!” chimes denki

“DONT ENCOURAGE HER, IDIOT”

his favorite thing that you do with your voice is when you sing 

he loves to lay on top of you after a long day, snuggling into your neck or shoulder, listening to you softly sing to him 

you don’t think you’re that great of a singer but you can’t deny him the affection

he likes feeling the vibrations from your vocal chords on his cheek and from your chest on his 

that’s like level 100 comfort for him 

be prepared for him to be out like a light afterwards though, snoring and all

overall has a love-hate relationship with your voice

mostly love, but he’d never admit it 

todoroki 

your voice sounds kind of like his own, except not as deep

that never stopped you from trying to get it to be as low as his 

but of course it never matched up to his lovely voice 

“do i really sound like that?”

“no, sho, i’m just doing a bad impression of you. i really like your voice.”

he likes your voice a lot too

it’s just a very soothing and calming sound to his ears 

but because it’s a bit lower than most other female voices, you have trouble speaking up 

sometimes people will tell you that your voice is so low that they can’t hear you when you talk 

when you actually try to talk louder, you feel like you’re essentially yelling like bakugo 

it embarrasses you quite a bit so there are times when you just don’t feel like talking 

he picks up on it pretty quick and knows when something’s off

it hurts him to you see so down about your voice 

because he likes listening to your voice 

“i love hearing you talk and with the interesting things that you have to say-- it’s wonderful.” 

he could listen to you read the most boring book ever, like moby dick, just to hear your voice

“you should do-- what is it called? hang on, let me look it up.”

he pulls up an asmr video, “you should do this.”

“ah, i don’t know, shoto. hearing my voice through a microphone is weird to me.”

he can’t disagree, he had to get used to hearing your voice through the phone

he thought that he wasn’t actually talking to you and would check the caller id because you sound different over the phone for some reason 

but that’s just another unique thing about you and your voice

he still thinks you’d be good at asmr and that a lot of other people would find your voice just as soothing as he does

until one day when you’re cuddling and talking with him 

“wait, sho, listen. i think i have you down pretty good.”

you try your hand at impersonating him again

at first he almost doesn’t want to hear it but you make him sound so much more at ease than he thinks his voice can be 

so overall, he can’t complain about your voice

in fact he loves it a lot <3

back with another bnha night! send some requests here..

[yrbutchgf]

I’m the anon who said I’m having trouble letting go of calling myself butch and I’m still really struggling. I’m sorry to be annoying because I know there’s nothing really you can do but it help to just let it out to someone. I never really knew it would hurt like this but I’m not enjoying being bi at all. It’s kinda made worse by the one person I talked about it with irl telling me that I should just call myself a lesbian because if I want to be something I probably am but I still know deep down that I’m somewhat attracted to men even if it doesn’t feel full. I don’t want to go back to calling myself a lesbian and feeling guilty every other day but this doesn’t feel any better

internalized biphobia is a really difficult thing to deal with. when i was first experimenting with calling myself bi, i really struggled with it. i had a friend tell me a similar thing -- that we'd been through this, i wasn't bi, i just liked butches and in the absence of butches in my hometown, id begun to project onto men. i can't really blame her for saying that; it was the same logic that i'd used before when backing out of identifying as bi. i think i said before, but i actually went back several times before i felt comfortable with it, and at that point i was only comfortable with it because i had a group of bi people i could talk to that made it feel normal. because id been talking with them and experimenting with the word and fitting into it for about a month at that point, i had started to feel more secure, and so i was actually able to shoot that logic down pretty firmly, because i had stable footing in what i was and was even starting to feel normal about it.

i know you didn't really come to me for advice, but i do have to recommend to you again to try and find a bi group, maybe a discord (or something in-person if one exists nearby and you're comfortable with that), and hang out in there a while. having other bi people around really did wonders to help normalize it as an identity i could actually hold. i really do empathize with where you're coming from though. i'm sorry, anon. not every realization you have about yourself is going to feel perfect immediately. sometimes it has to hurt before it feels alright again. i dont know about you, but when i was first identifying as a lesbian, it wasn't easy for me at first then either. try and be patient with the process and handle yourself as gently as you can manage, and when you can, find yourself a group of people who will do the same

[totiredtowrite]

sorry, the power went out and also this is a long one

!!!tw/cw!!! the dream has violence, gore, attempted murder, hospitals, plotholes, and also some swearing on my part so beware

ok so i was like, college age in the dream and it was in first person. i was walking out the house to buy something from the store, probably instant noodles for dinner ig, and i stopped in front of this house whose door was opened, i knew the house bc a family just moved out and the family had a kid that often talked to me despite me hating kids, and like the nosy bitch i am i look inside the house

obviously i was scared and instant regret and before i could run away i was pulled inside the house and now IM the one being choked to death and this bitch said, "You think you could escape me the second time?!"

then i saw this female child holding up a grown man by his neck and cackling wildly while shit flew around, obvious possession and then the child's head snapped towards me and just changed from a smile to an angered face and said "You."

then the man started throwing shit at the child and i was let go and i grabbed simone mugs and also started to throw stuff at her, but my aim was shit bc my arms will not work and the child got a hold of a spoon i threw and said somethn about gauging my insides open and idk what happened but another neighbor barged in the house right before i was murdered and got me out the house, the other adult ran to get cops and i locked myself in my house and the childs deranged voice echoed arnd and fuckin haunted the house and everything went black

when i woke up i was like in a hospital that was a mix of a normal hospital but also a mental hospital? and like after being nursed back to health i was interviewed for what had happened to me and stuff and i remembered that this wasnt the first time i encountered the murderer and it tried to kill me before but my mind blocked it out of my memories or somthn? i went back into my hospital room and this nurse who had pink hair and black tattoos was the one taking care of me bc this hospital assigned nurses to patients or somthn idk why

i was cleared for physical actions that werent as straining but i was having trouble doing somthn idk what it was but the nurse helped me and said something about how "puny humans couldnt even do one thing right" in a joking and lighthearted tone then i was sent into a spiral and flashback bc that quote unlocked something from hidden away memories and the curse spirit thing who attempted to unalive me said that the first time and i started to shriek, fell over and backed into the bathroom behind me and the nurse was obvs confused and worried and tried to get closer and help me up and ask what happened but i locked the bathroom door and he kept asking what was wrong and started to try and open the lock with his id card? and i dont know how hes supposed to open a door with a card but yeah

i saw his name and like, spiralled further down bc his name was Sukuna Ryomen and the dude who attempted murder me introduced himself to me as Sukuna Ryomen, King of Curses and yeah

i swiped his id card away and he went away to grab the therapist psychiatrist? who interviewed me at the beginning and i opened the door and just cried while pointing at the name on the id card

after that i was in the psychiatrist dudes office and the locked away memories came flooding back so i told him this kinda apaethically bc irl just stop having emotions after crying so that went in the dream too

idk what happened next but sukuna was not my nurse anymore and id sometimes see him in the halls kinda sheepish and guilt-ridden bc he tried murdering me two times in a row and who then nursed me back into health

thats it bc i woke up for school, idk why sukuna was a nurse, all i knew was the hospital has humans and curses working alongside each other and shit so

its a rare moment when i do have actual dreams so its likely that there wont be a pt 2 of the dream but i do be wondering how my mind came up with this whole thing

-∞

crying WHAT

[acespec-ed]

hi!! I was wondering if u could help me? I’m alloaro and I just discovered the term aromid… and it makes me question myself. I’m very unsure if I’m on the asexual spectrum or if I just experience sex repulsion sometimes? I’ve looked at so many acespec labels and cannot find one that actually fits me. literally I’ve seen them all. I haven’t really felt comfortable calling myself ace and I do enjoy saying I’m alloaro but I wonder if I’m actually on the ace spectrum as well… how do I differentiate between sex repulsion and asexuality? For one, I’m hypersexual and feel the need/pressure to be sexual or I’m not good enough… and I do want sex I think? I fantasize about it and I enjoy smut and some art .. but when I visually see nakedness or irl sex… it makes me feel very uncomfortable and I don’t enjoy that. I enjoy the thoughts and fiction and when people are only partially clothed…. but I just have this feeling of repulsion and fear of actually doing it irl (what if I hate it and it makes me uncomfortable?) and when I think about it I do imagine myself and this other person but it’s also hard to actually see us and not just faceless non existing people… and idk how much of me wanting sex is just pressure from hypersexuality or me genuinely having sexual attraction … idk if I really have much of a libido or want for sex?? would I be able to call myself alloaro AND aromid.. as in I’m alloaro but possibly SOMEWHERE on the ace spectrum?.. or maybe I’m just sex repulsed and fully not ace at all? I feel like my situation here makes me unable to call myself alloaro but I AM alloaro and I love being alloaro… I don’t wanna stop saying I am but it also feels like there’s more to it?

same anon from before! I read a post of yours about the umm “allos see ‘cake’ and immediately know they want to eat it” and it confuses me … idk what I experience? I see fictional characters and I can go “they look sexy I am attracted to them maybe if want to have sex with them?” I see people and ??? idk sometimes I get unwanted thoughts of having sex with friends when I don’t actually want to or find attractive…I can see people and think they’re sexy/attractive .. but idk if I’d think “yeah I’d have sex with them” I mean it depends bc I think someone can imagine having sex with someone and enjoy it and want it but would they actually wanna seriously have sex with that stranger without having any connection with them…? Sex is scary so I’d need to know and trust them maybe… be scared to show my body..but I don’t think I’d be comfortable calling myself demi? Idk I don’t get this .. do I look at someone and immediately think whether I’d want to have sex with them or not? I really don’t know … also.. so…. Libido is just wanting sex in general and sexual attraction is wanting specific people?… how do I differentiate all of this it’s so confusing! I guess MAYBE I do look at peopl and go “wow they’re pretty/sexy id want sex” BUT I DONT KNOW LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT… am I not allo WHATS going on here .. can you explain what it would be like to be sex repulsed AND allo instead of ace? and the difference between that and being ace and sex repulsed? thank u

~~

I’m so sorry I’m saying so much I just have no one to talk to :C … but um… someone told me “if you’re sex repulsed .. you’re still allo unless you feel like u don’t relate to being allo anymore” and I’m honestly so confused because…. do my weird feelings towards sex influence my sexuality? do I still feel connected to being allo? personally I feel like these feelings are ones allo people don’t typically have ..plus I’ve always felt bad for not being sexual enough or feeling the same sexual feelings as people/ (also why do I have sex repulsion I don’t think I rlly had much sexual trauma going on.. some little incidents but still??) and if I told allo people these feelings… they would not relate and would think I’m weird for it ..but an ace person might relate and would understand … I feel like it does influence how I see my sexuality/attraction and complicates things…however.. I feel like I can’t call myself acespec bc often I want sex (even with a specific person.. although they look different when I imagine them and also don’t exactly have a Look/face/body in my head..same with me) often and I’m hypersexual so I like over sexualizing myself …plus I like saying I’m alloaro and don’t want to let go of it… nor do I want to ID with a specific ace spec label.. I’d like to just say I’m ace (just like how I call myself aromantic even when I’m specifically gray romantic) why can’t I just be ace and not ace at the same time or in between I don’t know 😭…. what do allos experience how is their life like with sexual attraction and how is someone’s life like without sexual attraction … I don’t get it at alllllll

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I saw you sent three asks and decided to combine them all in this post to make answering this easier. Just reading these asks are making my head spin, so I can only imagine how confused you must feel. And it's fine that you're sending so many asks- I know what it's like to have no one to talk to about things.

I'll start this off by saying you can call yourself whatever you feel most comfortable calling yourself. And if it's alloaro, then of course you can keep calling yourself alloaro. You do sound like you could fit somewhere on the ace spectrum, but I couldn't tell you where.

A lot of what I'm about to say you might already know, since it sounds like you've been doing your own bit of research, but here I go.

Whether or not you desire sex on its own doesn't determine if you're asexual. If you've never felt any urges to have sex with anyone specific, then you haven't experienced sexual attraction. So it's helpful to remove your interest in sex itself, along with libido, when questioning. Focus it all on if you've wanted sex with anyone in particular. If the answer is no, or very rarely, it's likely you could be on the asexual spectrum. You mentioned you've experienced it towards someone specific, so it sounds to me like you'd be in the gray area, if on it at all.

I will say, it is totally normal to be nervous, and even scared, of having sex at first. A lot of allos are able to get over this fear- possibly because of sexual attraction. I first felt sexual attraction towards my boyfriend, and though I was repulsed, I wanted to do sexual things with him so bad I was able to get over the fear and disgust through slow exposure. So I think sexual attraction on its own is a huge motivator to "get over" sex repulsion and go for it.

Of course, you should never do anything you are not comfortable doing. And never force yourself into doing any sexual activities. A lot of aces have ended up with trauma over that sort of thing. The reason I went for it was because I naturally became comfortable with things escalating as time went on. Kinda like exposure therapy, I guess.

I'm not sure if you already saw it, but I did write this post on an experience I had where I was sex-repulsed by someone I was sexually attracted to. So it is possible to be sex-repulsed and sexually attracted to a person, but I understand how hard it can be to tell for sure.

I can't tell you what it's like to be allo. But other than the few times I've experienced sexual attraction, I lived my life with a libido directed towards no one, fluctuating between being sex-indifferent and repulsed, and occasionally getting a crush I had no sexual attraction towards. 

As for what it’s like being sex-repulsed and ace: I can’t imagine having sex with anyone. I just can’t. Every time I get a crush, I try to imagine sex with them, and my brain just shuts that off. It wants nothing to do with those thoughts. Sex-repulsed with sexual attraction: It’s only happened twice and the first time (with my bf) I had no idea wtf was going on and it was 10 years ago so I can’t remember enough to tell you aside from what I’ve already said. The other time though, I wasn’t 100% sure if it was sexual attraction at first- but my body became aroused at the sight of him, and the arousal went away when he left. But when I thought of sex with him, I was grossed out. But I kept forcing myself to think of sex with him, and grew more comfortable with the idea. And the more I thought about it, the more I figured, “hey, maybe I am sexually attracted to him.” 

Every person is different though.

I can totally understand your confusion because some of your experiences sound like you’re allo and some sound like you could be acespec. I honestly don’t know what else to say or what answers to give. I will say this though: I strongly doubt any allo has had to question their allosexuality as much as you are.

But circling back to what I first said: you can label yourself as whatever you feel most comfortable with. It’s okay if you don’t fit the exact definitions of an identity 100%. Every person is different, even those sharing the same label. And if you decide your experiences are just too complicated for a label, you don’t need one either. 

Sorry if this was all over the place, but I hope it was somewhat helpful!

[rouge-the-bat]

OOPS I HAD STARTED THIS THEN SAVED AS A DRAFT TO FINISH LATER BUT THEN FORGOT SO ITS. BEEN A BIT SINCE I WAS ACTUALLY TAGGED FOR THIS LMAO

ANYWAYS i was tagged by @skayforrest :'33

Rules: Please make your own text post when answering these to avoid long posts. Highlight/bold what applies to you!

for me to make it easier for me to read im going for:

bold: definitely me :3

italics: kinda me!

strikethrough: not me at All

(subscript parenthesis): my comments! (bc im very rambly lol)

also changing // between different phrases to ♡♡ to make it easier for me to distinguish between phrases too owo

♡  Appearance ♡

I am over 5’5 ♡♡ I wear glasses/contacts ♡♡ I have blonde hair ♡♡ I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing ♡♡ I have one or more piercings (my ears!) ♡♡ I have at least one tattoo (i want to get one of a drawing ive made soon tho!) ♡♡ I have blue eyes ♡♡ I have dyed or highlighted my hair (its p much back to normal now tho- and i want to dye it pink someday) ♡♡ I have gotten plastic surgery ♡♡ I have or had braces ♡♡ I sunburn easily ♡♡ I have freckles ♡♡ I paint my nails (not super often but i have fun doing it occasionally owo!) ♡♡ I typically wear makeup (i rarely do and usually its just lispstick, with maybe eyshadow and/or eyeliner) ♡♡ I don’t often smile (i can be really smiley sometimes but i dont interact with others much (esp irl) so i tend to not emote a whole lot) ♡♡ I am pleased with how I look (im cute round n chubby!!) ♡♡ I prefer nike to adidas (i literally dont care) ♡♡ I wear baseball caps backwards

♡ Hobbies & Interests ♡

I play a sport (i play... wii sports and real life bowling sometimes at most :'3) ♡♡ I can play an instrument (its been a really long time but i learned clarinet from school band) ♡♡ I am artistic ♡♡ I know more than one language (id like to learn some tho, like japanese, french, and/or korean maybe?) ♡♡ I have won a trophy in some sort of competition (never a Literal trophy :O) ♡♡ I can cook or bake without a recipe ♡♡ I know how to swim ♡♡ I enjoy writing (i like to but school has made me anxious anytime i try now ;w;) ♡♡ I can do origami ♡♡ I prefer movies to tv shows ♡♡ I can execute a perfect somersault ♡♡ I enjoy singing (exclusively for singing along, i dont really ever sing on my own lol) ♡♡ I could survive in the wild on my own ♡♡ I have read a new book series this year ♡♡ I enjoy spending time with my friends (who wouldnt!! esp with my friends, theyre amazing :'3) ♡♡ I travel during school or work breaks (id like to travel more..) ♡♡ I can do a handstand

♡ Relationships ♡

I am in a relationship (my girlfriend is so wonderful 🥰) ♡♡ I have been single for over a year (been dating my gf for almost 2 full years now!) ♡♡ I have a crush (fictional crushes count right? bc i have a million of those lol) ♡♡ I have a best friend I have known for ten years ♡♡ My parents are together ♡♡ I have hooked up with my best friend (thats meaning sexual right? bc im sex repulsed and so is my gf whos my best friend so, absolutely not lol) ♡♡ I am adopted ♡♡ My crush has confessed to me (im p much always the first to confess lol) ♡♡ I have had a long-distance relationship (hopefully someday tho it wont be long distance :'3) ♡♡ I am an only child (dear god no i have. 1 full brother, 3 half brothers, 1 half sister, and 2 or 3 step brothers gjkxjfk) ♡♡ I give advice to my friends (im not the best with advice but i try when i can!!) ♡♡ I have made an online friend (all of my current friends are online!) ♡♡ I met up with someone I have met online (GOD I WISH)

♡ Aesthetics ♡

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell ♡♡ I have watched the sunrise (many times, after being awake all night bc im p mych nocturnal lol) ♡♡ I enjoy rainy days (god i love rain so much) ♡♡ I have slept under the stars (iirc im p sure ive slept in a tent for going camping before ??? but my memory sucks so im not sure if that happened or i just always wanted to gjkdjg) ♡♡ I meditate outside (maybe i should try that sometime..) ♡♡ The sound of chirping calms me ♡♡ I enjoy the smell of the beach (ive been to a beach just a couple times.. i dont remember what it smelled like) ♡♡ I know what snow tastes like (i eat snow EVERY time it snows here, esp to make snow cream) ♡♡ I listen to music to fall asleep (on occasion! always instrumental stuff, sometimes meant for relaxing or sometimes just a comfort song from a game i love) ♡♡ I enjoy thunderstorms ♡♡ I enjoy cloud watching ♡♡ I have attended a bonfire ♡♡ I pay close attention to colors (ofc ! i love colors and graphic design is my passion- but like Actually, im not quoting the meme lol) ♡♡ I find mystery in the ocean ♡♡ I enjoy hiking on nature paths (would REALLY need to be in the mood for it) ♡♡ Autumn is my favourite season (close ! i love the chilly air and aesthetic of autumn as well, but winter is my ultimate comfort season <3)

♡ Miscellaneous ♡

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles ♡♡ I am the mom friend (mom friend mode can activate on Occasion, but usually im silly bastard friend) ♡♡ I am involved in extracurricular activities (im not in school) ♡♡ I enjoy mexican food ♡♡ I can drive a stick-shift (i still havent learned how to drive yet owo;;) ♡♡ I believe in true love (probably not in a typical sense?) ♡♡ I make up scenarios to fall asleep (oh no, i make up scenarios constantly in my head throughout the day, i get way too invested in them so they usually keep me up if i think about them when trying to sleep) ♡♡ I sing in the shower ♡♡ I wish I lived in a superhero movie (i def wanna live in some fictional worlds, but superhero movies arent things im usually into) ♡♡ I have a canopy above my bed ♡♡ I am multiracial (im not super familiar with my ancestry rn, so idk. would like to know sometime tho) ♡♡ I am a redhead ♡♡ I own at least 3 dogs/cats (rn i have 2 dogs and 3 cats!)

and uhhh ill tag @spiiderbiites @miphelda @kipokin @queerplyke @ameila if yall wanna do it :3? (if yalld like i can go thru n supply a version of this without all of my font edits and comments!) AH WHOOPS I GOT A URL MESSED UP BUT XENOLEAF U CAN DO TOO IF U WANT

[red-sterling]

thanks for answering!! i hope you don't mind if i send more charas...how about green and/or lillie?

fhgjkfdg aw yea thank u!! hopefully this doesn’t publish before i’m done typing lol

also this definitely needs a readmore bc i got emotional abt Green oops

Green

favorite thing about them

first of all: the fact that Green canonically has a rivals to best friends arc with Red fills me with so much joy and YES they are on their alolan honeymoon you cannot convince me otherwise

okay like. gen 1 Green just perfectly encompasses what it’s like to be a ten year old in a way? like ofc he’s written like a kid bc he is a kid, but i feel like the writing on him just feels so genuine as compared to some of the other 10 yr old rivals you get in other regions. even though he’s kinda a brat at the start, he kinda eases up a bit as you go along your journey and starts giving you progressively nicer/more praise-y end lines when you beat him (going from “i picked the wrong pokémon!” to “so, you are ready for boss rocket!”) but still retains this childlike rivalry and competitiveness and i love that about him

and like. fucking beating him at the Indigo League still completely breaks my heart because even after he did become the champion at age 10 the first thing that happens is you beat him and Prof Oak just yells at him for being bad at things and like. ow. 

this is why i headcanon that Red actually took awhile longer to get to Green like please. please give my boy a chance to be happy and proud

also Red was caught up with Team Rocket anyway so i imagine he must’ve fallen a little behind at some point? anyway

the development on him across regions is so choice!!! he’s so much more mellow and even kinda melancholic when you find him in gsc/hgss, like he’s calmed down over a few years and he obviously misses Red so much but like, it’s clear that Red is kinda the reason Green does settle down and he seems to have worked on his character and become a nicer person - and he still has that sassy flair to him! he’s just got that gradual slope from asshole rival to kinda aloof gym leader to friendly/sassy battle legend and aaaaa i love my boy so MUCH

also huge point: he’s so fucking driven??? he’s got the most drive and the most passion for battles/pokémon in general out of all the rivals i feel. he’s only closely matched by Silver, but Silver seems to be more aggressive than passionate, and somewhat out of necessity too (like, Giovanni abandoned him what was he to do), whereas Green just really like. he genuinely just cares so much about battles and about pokémon in general! he literally calls you in hgss and just rants about how many different kinds of pokémon there are in the world!!!

also in Alola he’s like???? just so sweet?????? he congratulates you and is like hey you’re really strong lets battle like!!!!!!!!! supportive boy!!!!! he has come so far over so many generations and i cry

also on Four Island when you play frlg he legitimately says “Be smelling ya!” when he leaves and how do you not love this idiot

least favorite thing about them

i mean. while i get that you beat Green right after he becomes the champion in the kanto games i feel like there should’ve been more pomp and circumstance for him and i’ll never forgive gamefreak for giving this boy his dream, then making you rip it away from him, and then watching his own gramps yell at him for fucking up like. again it’s that drive, i get why Red keeps such good pace w Green but i just feel like he worked so hard and he deserved so much better than that

also while i’m very biased towards him bc Big Emotions, i feel like if i knew this boy irl who was constantly i’m so great and you’re a loser i would probably punch him eventually lmao. in theory it’s kinda endearing but as a real person that’d be grating 

favorite line

on one hand, “smell ya later” is so fucking iconic, but on the other - 

“I’m Blue. Man, this guy called Red brought me down in a heartbeat. I haven’t seen him in a long time…I wonder where he is and what he’s up to… Come to think of it, you look a little bit like Red. Yeah, you do. Just…Just a little bit. Whatever…”

my namelessshipping heart

ALSO NOT CANON BUT GREEN RANTING TO YOU ABOUT RED AND GETTING SO DISTRACTED THAT HE FORGETS TO GIVE YOU THE POKÉDEX????? BIG GAY

brOTP

for long elaborate headcanon reasons, i see him as being a good brotp with Kris - i headcanon her as also being really driven the way Green is, but more quiet about it, she’s kinda a good balance to him and they probably do pokemon research together. i also feel like she kept him sane while Red was still missing/before they found him on a fuckin mountain

OTP

do i really need to tell you that i’m 100% namelessshipping

like they perfectly balance each other. Green has all this energy and all this spunk and Red is just like… so opposite of him y'know? he’s quiet and he’s more measured in his behavior i feel, he doesn’t really rush into things as much, and yet they both really just took Kanto by storm when they were kids, and i like how they have this foil dynamic and are both still so successful? they’re so different and they complement each other in that way, and they both find success in their own ways

like one of the reasons i hate that Green’s championship gets undersold so much is that he did beat you to the punch, and he has been one step ahead of you, and there’s so much passion there and it’s so loud - and yet you as Red are just as driven, you take down Team Rocket, you’re always right on his tail, so close but not quite there, you’re the only one who can keep up with him and you’re the only one he cares enough about to slow down for

so like. idk with even all my headcanons about namelessshipping aside (and i can infodump those another day lol), i feel like the in-game representation of them just works. they just work so well together, they balance each other without ever holding each other back, and there’s something really beautiful about that in a relationship y'know

…..i feel bad abt not putting as much infodump about isshushipping now but oh well

nOTP

i don’t really have a notp with him? i kinda like. i basically just do namelessshipping, but i don’t get a visceral eugh when i see other ships with him, just kinda a well it’s not nameless so i’ll be on my way. idek what other ships w him are popular?? i’ve been in nameless hell since 2012 so 

random headcanon

while Red is still living on Mount Silver, Green is not coping well with having him so far away, and so Green massively overworks himself to the point that he keeps just not being in his gym sometimes bc he’s bouncing between the gym, training multiple teams, pokémon research, and ofc going to visit Red whenever he can. this leads him to be kinda temperamental after he’s been working on 2 hours of sleep a day for like a week until he just has an emotional meltdown and crashes, and then he gets right back into it because he has no self preservation

…….. nicer headcanon; Red can only cook two (2) foods, so Green cooks all the food for them when they move in together. he has attempted to teach Red how to cook, but Red pretends not to understand so Green will keep making him food. Green knows Red is faking it and doesn’t call him out bc he thinks it’s cute

unpopular opinion

look i’ve played through classic red version a few times and when i say he wasn’t that much of a jerk, i do genuinely mean he was not that much of a jerk. he’s like ten. ten year olds are just Like That. i guess this isn’t too unpopular anymore but it was Back In The Day and in some parts of the fandom he’s still seen as a jerk and like Bro He Is Ten In RGB/FRLG cut him some slack

also genuinely unpopular - Green is taller than Red. i know namelessshipping has fallen into the bara Red and twink Green trope but i refuse to let go of tall Green/short Red fuckin fight me why dont you

song i associate with them

a lot of the Pray For The Wicked album by Panic! at the Disco gives me Green vibes, more for the sound than for lyrics necessarily, but for some reason Roaring 20s just like. has the sound of Green to me. it’s somewhere between flamboyant pride and underlying insecurity that i think really encapsulates Green (or at least his subtext)

favorite picture of them

i genuinely love his let’s go concept art he’s such a sweet good boy?? 

and for the life of me i cannot find the op source on this but this is my fave pic of Green/namelessshipping in general that i’ve had saved since like 2012 maybe???

yeah if anyone can help me source that i’d appreciate it bc reverse image search only brings me to pinterest and random wattpad links :/

update: source seems to be the artist くる (pixiv id=982894) on pixiv, even though the original post got taken down (ty anon!)

Lillie

favorite thing about them

by now i guess you know im a sucker for character development, but i think they did a really good job with her!! i feel like her turn is a bit more in moments than it is with Green, who gradually evolves (lol) over the course of Kanto/all the gens overall. you see more discrete moments where Lillie starts to shift and gain confidence in herself and i am so proud of her ???? like the way she gets excited when she sees Olivia doin’ her z-move stuff, she starts buying her own clothes and getting ahead of you, etc etc

and like, she still has moments where she’s scared, there’s still some fundamental Lillie in there yknow? you don’t lose any of that softness that characterizes Lillie, she just like… she gets better, she develops without losing her Lillie vibe and i love that abt her. she overcomes a lot of the shit she had to deal with when she was stuck with Lusamine, she stands up to Lusamine eventually, and ghfdkjsg gah she’s a sweet gorl i love and appreciate her

also like. the writing on her backstory is so subtle in-universe. like yeah she literally looks like Lusamine’s daughter and you see her in the opening cutscene leaving Aether, but as the protagonist - like as Selene lets say, there’s little hints about where Lillie came from, and if you suspend your disbelief and put yourself in the pc’s shoes, there’s subtly to her character arc that i like 

also like. when she changes her outfit and starts being more protagonist-y, like more confident and kinda bubbly instead of shy??? love that shit it’s so cute can i have custody of this child pls

least favorite thing about them

i like. sometimes feel like she’s too soft of a character for me to really get into? like i love her and Hau, they’re sweet good friends, but i tend to personally gravitate towards characters that create a little more tension (ie Green and N)

(though on that note, Hau can be kinda savage. he just calls Faba out and sarcastically calls Gladion “a ray of sunshine” at some point i think?? Lillie is just very tender and i will support her forever, but i think that also makes her almost too soft to keep me fixated on her yknow. it’s not even a flaw in her character but just not something i fawn over as much)

favorite line

“I’m so glad I got to meet everyone. I’m so glad I got to meet you.”

like that ending kills me but that line almost feels like. I Feel That So Much like i feel so happy to have met all these new characters and to have played these games, and i feel like some of the player’s energy and enjoyment of the game is channeled into this last line of hers 

also GET IN THE BAG

brOTP

probably her and Hau?? idk, i don’t have a specific brotp for her but i like her just hangin around w the other Alola kids, so like her, Hau, Gladion, and the protag kids. they’d raise hell together and Lillie continues to be the only one with some impulse control

(Gladion also has some impulse control but keeps getting annoyed by Hau and so he gets dragged into their nonsense anyway)

OTP

Selene and Lillie is. Good. idk what the ship name is but it’s canon

nOTP

i dont even know if people ship her with Gladion but incest is a big no-no in my house

random headcanon

when she goes to Kanto, i bet she’d pick Bulbasaur as a starter if she was given the opportunity - and if not, she’d probably catch a wild Vulpix 

unpopular opinion

idk if have any unpopular opinions for her?? 

song i associate with them

i have no reason to associate this with her but the Rainy Day theme from acgc just. has a vibe about it. i think a lot of ac music feels like it suits her

favorite picture of them

i found this art of her through a lofi remix of her theme awhile back and it’s so pleasing to look at? her hair is nice and the colors are so warm n happy gjhkfdgf

if you read this far, congratulations!!! and i’m sorry

[unleashed-salt]

To clarify

Hi im [insert nickname i havent picked yet that wont lead people to finding my main as im hoplessly new and not open about being aroace] and i suffer from the Need To Overexplain Myself So That I Will Never Be Misunderstood Despite Having No Followers lmao

When i say something along the line of "im aro and get fucking lonely sometimes" im specefically venting to people i see both online and irl that seems to think im 100% fine with being alone and left out of things and be left behind as friends leave for romantic partners as some sort of permanent third wheel. Like ive said it before i dont experince alterous attraction (im slightly romance repulsed as well), honestly idk where i even classify, but i get lonely very easily (but guess what im also an introvert, which yes means i also need alone time and space these two things dosent cancell each other out ffs). Ive always struggled with making new friends im very aware i just dont get what i need from casual friends and anqiuatances and that i viscerally crave some form of deeper emotional connection with people yet I DONT EXPERIENCE QPR AND ALTEROUS ATTRACTION and that fucks with me in so many hurtful ways. Partially why i dident id as aro for so long was this deep fear that i would never be truly happy in my relations with other people and that i was to easily attention starved to be aro. And when i do try to deepen friendships i feel like im constately stepping over a line beacuse what i want Is What A Large Part Of Society Tell Me Is Wrong And Wierd. Also for the record im not american, or english for that matter i come from a rather closed of culture where unconventional socializing can be very fuckin hard. Things are so easy in the sense that if youre allo theres all these systems set up for you, dating has like a million apps. But hell am i gonna do? Go to the "serious friendship bar"? And then i hear shit like "it gets harder making friends as you grow older" i feel no hope for my future, all my highschool and college friends will leave eventually and theres nothing i can do about it. i cant even imagine it. Ive never in my life ever meet another irl aro (and then aros arent all the same what i want isent what others always want) , hell sometimes i wonder if there even are any in my country. I attend pride and all i see is ace flags and nothing else. And sure i can read a million posts on how "friendships can be as deep as you like" and yeah i agree 100% but actually finding someone else that think that is not as easy honestly makes most of these posts just useless to me on bad days.

So to round things off sometimes id just whis it was aknowledged with all these posetivety posts floating around just how being aro fucks you up when youre like me and how you can crave this kind human companionship youre pretty sure youll never actually get beacuse theres nowhere to seek it (also i still dont experince qp attraction even with these feelings, sometimes i feel like even the aro relationships that come up is something i cant use). Beacuse "you can totally have qpr's! (some other form of platonic partnership)" posts, wont take the hurt away and just makes me feel more alone tbh. And im not attacking posetivety, its great to have, but sometimes it feels like it kinda overshadows everything else and also i know this wont apply to all aros and thats okey, please tell me if i overgenralize im only speaking of my own experinces in this.

(for the record im not an english native speaker if i get something wrong or just word things in an hard to read way i apologize and feel free to correct me)

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[himbosims]

The Simself Challenge? Is that what this is called? I have no idea. . .

The challenge is basically to make a simself then answer a fuck ton of question so here we are. Thanks @willowbomb and @sim-borg for tagging me. I’ll tag: whoever wants to do this because idk who hasn't done this yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Taylor

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? My childhood nickname was Tot. My friends call me d*ke and slut though so hey

3. BIRTHDAY? July 23, 2001

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? Series definitely The Mortal Instruments or the Infernal Artifacts by Cassandra Clare

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Both i think, definitely aliens. I don't fuck with ghosts and all that because I don't want to die

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? Right now my favs are Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? Where I live we have five stations, one that plays music from the 30’s all the time, three country, and one that says it plays pop but ends up playing country anyways. So, none.

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? Idk man, thats a loaded question. Probably vanilla

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? ??? lit… idk dude I was trying to think of something that's weird but I can't think of anything

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Be My Mistake by The 1975 or Not Warriors by Waterparks

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Serious answer, lunacy (there's a reason its my username) not as serious, I just heard someone outside yell for the chillin’s and I started laughing because that word is great

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?  I’m currently listening to From Eden by Hozier

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Shameless, Glee, Shadowhunters, Grey’s. I could go on.

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN?Love, Simon, Call Me By Your Name, or The Perks of Being a Wallflower

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? Obviously

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Spiders and needles

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? nothing

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? Everything, in seriousness, my selfishness or narcissism,  

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? Cats are my favorites but dogs are cool

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? Never have been

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? NOT AS MUCH STRESS

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Irl- my friend EJ. Online- @hallowiamshebsims

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Green

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? Read 23

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? Read 23

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? Read 23

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? I don't remember the last time I was excited for something

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? Writing I think

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? Hannah Montana, Ned Declassified, Drake and Josh, Flapjack, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Chowder, Rugrats. I'm a true early Gen Z kid

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? My girl best friend, I dont tell him everything because i'm a secretive bitch

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? Nah

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? Read 16

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? Both

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? Writing, reading, creating imaginary worlds to live in

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? I am almost done with History Is All You Left me by Adam Silvera and oh boy that book

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Paranorman: “You’re gonna love my boyfriend, he’s like a total chick flick nut.”

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? N/A

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Cats

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? @hallowiamshebsims @simmerberlin @willowbomb @pollinationqueen @gunthermnch

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? The ability to always have the money to pay for things

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? My room probably

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? People falling down, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJq4jWSQNd

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? That’s cute

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? Coffee

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? I have two teachers that are really weird about phones and talking in class so we pass notes instead

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? Nah

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? LOUD EATERS

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? I went to a christian concert when I was like 5 so there's that

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? Nope, I live in the south how do you expect me to not eat meat

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? Teacher since I live in the south and that's the only jobs beside retail or waitress in my town

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? The Shadow World, but I wanna be a warlock, not a dumb shadowhunter lol

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? Everything

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? I’m afraid of what's in the dark, which is a hard ass way to say yes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? All the time but im tone deaf so its bad

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? If I was sick, yeah. Other than that, I did twice. Once because I had a really bad panic attack right before the bus got to my house and I called my mom claiming I was really sick, and once a few weeks ago because my dog got sprayed by a skunk therefore making me smell like a skunk

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? uhhhhhhh

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? New York City, LA, San Francisco, Toronto, Portland, London. Any big city to be honest

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? A dog and three cats

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? Both. I sometimes stay up super late and sometimes i'm up really early. And if I can actually force myself out of bed I can get a lot done in either of those times

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Sunrises

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? Yeah but im gay so its not good driving l

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? Everything that wont break in a week

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Nah

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I don't really have a favorite, I listen to all kinds of stuff

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Uhhhhh, Deadpool, or Spiderman

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? Nope

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? It takes a lot to make me angry but when im angry it's bad and I forget what i do when i was angry so i don't really know

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? Real

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? English and Creative Writing

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? Younger sister, younger step brother

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? A starbucks coffee last night

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5’7 or something

75. CAN YOU COOK? Depends on what i'm cooking

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? Books, music, friends

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? Racists, homophobes, sexists- so basically most the people in my town (hell what am i kidding, this side of the Mason-Dixon line)

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? One of each

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? I am on the ace spectrum and I am panromantic

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? ‘Merica the brave

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Sheb

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Like, yesterday

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? CallMeKevin RTGame The Shane Dawson squad

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? sometimes

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP?I guess this hell site

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE?My mom and I are kinda close, i don't really talk to my dad much (even though I live with him half the week)

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? Aussie, British, Scottish, Irish… all of them

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Everywhere that’s not my state and the ones touching it

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 23

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? notta

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? Yes, but not crazy religious. I just believe in fate and that there is some type of higher power

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? Nasa bitch

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? I have an issue with adrenaline. As in, although i am an anxious person with too much adrenaline anyways I like to do things that give me a rush of adrenaline

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? I can't have my eyes pierced because I'm allergic to metal in the sense of having it in my body

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Yep

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? Nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Next question

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? I mean netiehr, but i'm not a huge fan of sand

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? You’ve made it through your worst day before, you can do it again

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? I think so

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Sytherlin, not surprise

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? I’m talking to myself right now

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? Introvert

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? Nah, my writing is kind alike my diary

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give people too many chances

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Check the ID, maybe take the money and leave it in a bush or something. I don’t know

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? For sure

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? Please don’t  tickle me

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Nope

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? Read question 94

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Alec Lightwood or Magnus Bane, but young Alec because I can't be friends with 27 year old Alec

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? Scared of needles, remember?

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? Doing things for me

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? YES

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? Both

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? Not really but if my future partner wants some i’d be open to talk about it

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? My ex-best friend. I used to hate how she never had to try to get good grades or be good at things, she just was

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? All my memories are embarrassing if you look close enough

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? At least twice a month

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? Nutruels and black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? Sure

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? I think I wa son the news once

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 17

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? I have a lot, “Words have the power to change us.” “perhaps it is because of time that we suffer.” “I remain a work in progress until I die.” “The thing you are most afraid to write, write that.” I could go on

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? Sweet

[rqs902]

Yet another tag game

Thanks @jiu-jiemei​ for tagging me!! :)

Last

Drink: almond milk

Phone call: my mom

Text message: my friend whose birthday is today!

Song you listened to: I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight - MR-X

Time you cried: I don’t remember... hahaha that’s a good thing, right? 

Ever

Dated someone twice: no..? (as in broke up and started dating again?)

Kissed someone and regretted it: kinda... it didn’t end up working out

Been cheated on: i dont think so LOL

Lost someone special: yes

Been depressed: I don’t think so, but I wonder sometimes if I just didn’t acknowledge it

Gotten drunk and threw up: nope

Fave Colors

Pastels - purple, pink, green, blue

the color of the sky on a sunny day

In the last year, have you…

Made new friends: of course

Fallen out of love: no

Laughed until you cried: i dont cry when i laugh hard, but i just sound like im choking LOL

Found out someone was talking about you: i don’t believe so

Met someone who changed you: yes

Found out who your friends are: yes, the ones who watch movies with you randomly even when you’re living miles away and the ones who come together for important life events

Kissed someone on your FaceBook friends list: yes 

General

How many FaceBook friends do you know irl? all of them

Do you have any pets? nope

Do you want to change your name? not really

What did you do for your last bday? i was volunteering at a summer camp

What time did you wake up today? 7:45am

What were you doing at midnight last night? fell asleep LOL

What is something you can’t wait for? to go home

What are you listening to right now? uhh i just finished watching this week’s guten guten banana!!! and Tangram’s “Radiant” was playing through the whole thing :’) 

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yeah, classmates

Something that gets on your nerves: ignorance, arrogance (i agree, emma!) 

Most visited website: youtube, facebook, tumblr, weibo (lol thanks ip)

Hair color: dark brown

Hair long or short: medium-long

Do you have a crush on someone? nope

What do you like about yourself? my self-awareness

Want any piercings? nope

Blood type: O

Nicknames: annie

Relationship status: single

Zodiac: gemini

Pronouns: she/her

Fave TV shows: currently im watching guten guten banana, Idol Hits (the actual music show and the ip boys’ commentary show), Fantasy Restaurant, and I’m excited for Perfect Restaurant to start!! 

Tattoos: nope

Dominant hand: right

Ever had surgery: uhh I’ve gotten stitches for injuries before

Piercings: none

Sports: none 

Vacations: i want to go to seattle lol

Trainers: what? (LOL SAME EMMA)

More General

Eating: i had dumplings today (heheh fcc) 

Drinking: i had a blueberry, banana, pineapple and strawberry smoothie! would recommend! (with yogurt) 

I’m about to watch: uhhh i may start regularly watching the Super Nova Games show to support the ip and mrzz boys, and I’m also considering watching The Next Top Bang bc @tanqram​‘s been telling me about it! 

Waiting: to meet a nice boy 

Want: a new phone 

Get married: maybe one day, but id need a boyfriend first LOL

Career: making a difference in people’s lives

Which is better

Hugs or kisses: hugs!!

Lips or eyes: eyes

Shorter or taller: taller

Older or younger: probably older

Nice stomach or stomach: lol what

Hookup or relationship: relationship 

Troublemaker or hesitant: a healthy mix of both (i agree emma!) 

Have you ever…

Kissed a stranger: no

Drank hard liquor: nope

Lost glasses: nope

Turned someone down: yeaa

Sex on the first date: nope

Broken someone’s heart: yeaa.....

Had your heart broken: yes, but I wasn’t devastated

Been arrested: no

Cried when someone died: yes

Fallen for a friend: yep

Do you believe in…

Yourself: sometimes

Miracles: occasionally

Love at first sight: it may be possible

Santa Claus: no

Kiss on a first date: yes

Angels: maybe

Other

Best friend’s name: on this site, itd be Nini :)) 

Eye color: brown

Favorite movie: zootopia or big hero 6

Favorite actor/actress: Constance Wu

[drashleighreid]

ALLLLLL 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

oooo snap dude! 

1. Who did you first come out to, if anyone?

the first time i remember having an actual *+*+ coming out moment with was probably my host mom. i mean id been like actively out in certain circles before that for a while but it was the first time i was genuinely nervous about it and felt like i was doing the whole*+*+ thing 

2. Favorite LGBT singer/instrumentalist?

i actually really love mary lambert bc she covers my childhood faves but makes em GAY 

3. What’s your gender + orientation?

f lesbian 

4. Who’s the best Gay Icon™?

hmmm idk ! can i say britney spears lmao 

5. Do you have a partner?

no : (

6. How long did your questioning process take (if you’re not still going through it)?

oh worm ! lol i dont know an exact amount of time. i kinda went like .... oh im straight ...... ohhh ok maybe im bi ....... im pan i love everyone !!! now im like wow women are iconic ! (even tho i identify as lesbian i still dont know what the fuck is going on ?? i still stand by the fact that sexuality is fluid n this could change at some point !! but women rock and men make me uncomfortable so lol ! thats where im at and its valid ! )

7. What movie/video game/TV shows have you stolen from the straights?

hmm ! i dont really know what this means tbh ??? like ?? a straight thing that i like or one that i wish was gay or wat ? :s

8. What’s your favorite color?

orange ! 

9. Do you go to a support/pride group?

no i dont! i always think about joining the university one in O week but then im always too nervous to go up to them and i stupidly i dont like joining groups n going to events by myself lol even tho i know thats how u meet people ! anyway ! disaster lesbian here 

10. Have you ever been to a pride event?

i actually havent ! fake 

11. What’s your favorite thing about your flag(s)?

its pretty & sof ! it makes me wanna eat raspberries 

12. Favorite LGBT artist/writer?

oo i actually have no idea ! i havent read much in a looong ass time nd dont really follow artists that much 

13. How often do you get tired of The Straights?

every damn day my pal 

14. How do you express your sexuality/gender?

im more confident in expressing it online through my shitposting lol. irl im not as open about my sexuality. ive tried to be a little more this year but it left me feeling a little uncomfortable because of the situation. i dont really think about //expressing// my sexuality or gender that much. i dont dress in a certain way or anything that is explicitly +*+*+gay lol

15. Has Tumblr been more harmful of beneficial to you when it comes to discussing LGBT issues or figuring yourself out?

more beneficial. its a space where i actually feel comfortable and confident to be gay. im super proud of my sexuality but like ?? sometimes even when u feel that love n passion toward it some RL circumstances can lowkey drag u thru the mud so its a nice place to come and be unapologetically gay tbh ! fandom has been good for this too. like coming on here and reading fic and seeing art etc abt beautiful wonderful wlw is so lovely and makes my heart feel so nice and soft ! and sharing this experience with other people on here has been all around a pretty wholesome nurturing experience and im pretty grateful for that. 

16. What LGBT charities/organizations do you support?

there aren’t really any i follow specifically and i dont have a lot of money so its hard to give to things but i do appreciate the organisations trying to help lgbt ppl ! i know there are a lot out there. ive bought things from love is louder before because im a fuckin slut for britt snow and i really appreciate what she’s doing with that does that count lmao 

17. Distinguished, functional, or disaster?

im somewhere between functional and disaster depending on the day. 

18. Favorite LGBT film or actor?

i really enjoyed love, simon... also i liked below her mouth even tho its kinda mostly porn lol. my favorite film of all time is Frida which i mean? counts right. and actor omg there are sOOOO many ! i friggin love stephanie beatriz tbh but there are a lot of badass lgbt ppl out there 

19. Is your current environment supportive?

i mean... yeah... i live with a rly queer nb gay af person who literally writes and performs theatre shows abt being queer so being gay is something we really celebrate here! id really like to have more gay friends here who i can hang out with tho it would make it a lot more enjoyable ! 

20. What are your plans for this June?

nothing too exciting or gay sadly lol. im going home to qld to visit my family for a while so nothing super gay will be occurring lol. 3thank you so much my dear xx i hope you’re having a fabulous pride time.��

[dateamonster]

Jules and Aiden for the oc meme you just reblogged? :>

nice aight im gonna start with this nervous little punk boy

Full Name: Julian McKinley

Gender and Sexuality: bi boyyy

Pronouns: he/him

Ethnicity/Species: mixed, sephardic jewish + irish

Birthplace and Birthdate: born in pennsylvania in september 1978 (17 yrs old)

Guilty Pleasures: greasy food, sleeping until noon, usual teen stuff tbh he doesnt actually feel that guilty about it

Phobias: spiders and general creepy crawlies, needles

What They Would Be Famous For: ideally, starting a super cool band but more realistically, riding a shopping cart over the edge of a multistory car park and living

What They Would Get Arrested For: see above, or else some other kind of tomfoolery

OC You Ship Them With: WILL

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: i feel like his biggest danger is probably himself

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: he’s a comic book nerd, loves superheroes and scifi-action

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: honestly this guy eats up cliches with a spoon

Talents and/or Powers: reckless passion, can play the piano a little bit, a deep and powerful compassion that makes him likeable to those around despite bein kind of a doofus

Why Someone Might Love Them: he’s pure lovable goof material. he’s not always the brightest bulb but he always only wants the best for people around him. he’s enthusiastic about the stuff he loves and does his best to spread that enthusiasm around. he’s a 110% kinda dude and i cherish him.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: he’s definitely a dumbass sometimes, and his ignorance and occasionally naivete gets him and the people around him in trouble. he’s prone to align himself with the wrong sides and the wrong people because he wants to see the best in them. he’s also, ya know, a teenage boy. he makes mistakes and doesn’t always know how to fix them. his carelessness could def rub someone the wrong way.

How They Change: gettin involved in the baker family’s shenanigans forces him out of his sort-of suburban understanding of the world and he’s forced to question a lot of stuff about himself and the people he interacts with. mostly i think he realizes that there aren’t always gonna be easy answers and sometimes no matter how good your intentions, people get hurt. part of growing up for him is learning how to deal with that fallout.

Why You Love Them: he’s a dork and a devoted friend and even though he makes mistakes and fucks things up at his heart jules is just this warm and wonderful kid who tries so much even when he’s wildly out of his depth.

aand now

Full Name: Aiden Eaker

Gender and Sexuality: straight...ish dude

Pronouns: he/him

Ethnicity/Species: white

Birthplace and Birthdate: pennsylvania, february 1978

Guilty Pleasures: conspiracy documentaries and watching cheesy horror movies just to point out the flaws

Phobias: bats and vermin, feeling cornered

What They Would Be Famous For: interrupting a live news report in 1999 to talk about preparing for the apocalypse while the anchor person desperately tries to make him leave

What They Would Get Arrested For: starting some kind of fight, illegally distributing some kind of conspiracy related newsletter, the two might be related somehow

OC You Ship Them With: no ships for this guy til he gets his shit together

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: becca becca becca becca becca

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: speculative nonfiction, horror-scifi if he’s just chillin

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: just anything he deems too unrealistic, though his criteria might be skewed

Talents and/or Powers: inquisitive, determined, owns a computer, and his dads a cop

Why Someone Might Love Them: he’s.. fun. entertaining. he gets better too i guess. might be relatable to cryptid enthusiasts.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: HOOO BOY. he is obnoxious, obsessive, and just plain mean sometimes. again, he’s a teenager and makes teenager mistakes. while he’s not exactly actively malicious or anything he is just a real frustrating guy.

How They Change: he does mellow out and improve as a person, thanks to jules mostly. he’s still kind of fundamentally a dick but he re assesses his shit and stops making his issues everyone else’s problem. it’s good.

Why You Love Them: like ive said, i love shitty dudes. i def have more of a love-hate relationship with this one but i dont think all characters should be 100% likeable. i think he’s a fun character even tho id probably wanna kick his ass irl. and as you can probably guess i enjoy givin him his comeuppance in-story and forcing him to get his shit together.

[incendavery]

gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕

on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.

as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!

yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕

i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!

thank you!!!💕

thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕

ok, my tips are!!:

draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills

BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again

draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing

look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work

read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt

ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy

good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!

ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!

thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!

that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!

thank you!!

peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.

wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>

dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!

thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul

thank you!!!!!!!💕

i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!

i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕

honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?

youre welcome!!!! :>

huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!

hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕

i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨

thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!

hey, right back atcha!!!

:0

ty!!!

hey. thank YOU

you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!

!!!!!!!!!!

hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!

gosh thanks?!?!

she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!

aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!

this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!

that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can

i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds

i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!

i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way

so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?

real BAD

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗

not yet haha THANK YOU

hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!

that IS a fun fact!! thank you!

it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)

hoo gosh, thank you!!

glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???

i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation

if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.

im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 

:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0

HA 

aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;

i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;

this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0

yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0

i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)

oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!

HUGS

i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?

also good to know!?

i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!

the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!

i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 

heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:

hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖

ive never heard of that!! wow

what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!

oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;

hahahaha omg thank u

i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.

thank you!!!

youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!

aaa gosh thank you!!!

hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 

thanks for the info!!! :0

no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.

i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?

aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;

aw thank you???!!

nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!

thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!

of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight

aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???

hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?

wow!!

(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!

hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!

aaaa ty! 

hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!

thank you!!

one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)

yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!

awww, gosh! thank you!?

AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;

:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!

i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!

pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;

aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;

nice nice nice ty!!

>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 

those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!

i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!

@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!

that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!

hello to you too!

aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3

thank you! thank YOU for existing!

:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!

thank you!!!!!!💕

its literally my pleasure!!!

aaa ty!!! 💕💕

hehe im glad! 

sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh

yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 

ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!

aww thank you so much!!

:0 :) :0 !!!!!!

ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!

thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!

i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day

you dont mean......

?!?!?!?!?!?!

awwww ty!!!

HEY WOW

aaa gosh thank you!💕

DOUBLE FOLLOW

gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;

aaa what a lovely message! ty💕

3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!

huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!

ah im really glad? tysm!!💕

my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 

hell yeah!!!! 

gosh!!!!!

hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez

delicious!!

i havent!! i really want to though!

oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!

i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 

i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!

hey, thank you!!!

oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?

i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?

thank you!! 👍

that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!

:0 :0 :0

ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>

omg,,,, nope, just me!

thank you!!!!!!

honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine

always!!!!! go for it!!!

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

omg, thats so great! thank you!

im so glad; thank you!!!

thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)

aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa

aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!

its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 

its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao

LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 

THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!

aaa ty!!💖

aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)

awww thank you💖

i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )

aaaaa ty!! 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????

hey, neat! crow high-five!

aw, thank you!!! 💖

im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;

gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?

thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!

i am..... one of those things!

well thank you!!

ohoho~✨

thank you! and honestly im sure it does??

hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!

aw gosh thank you!💖

hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!

(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)

aaaah, thank you so much!!

almost???

i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!

i am!!!! thank you!!

aw, ty!!! 💖

hee hee, thank you! 

my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.

thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)

how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????

hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 

when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’

i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!

now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao

!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!

maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?

thank you!!!

its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,

thank you so much!!!

WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????

all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;

[liinos]

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