#sometimes i wanna talk to them again just to yell abt all the stuff i had yet to realise was their fault | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zoekrystall · 1 year ago

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Added more in my pinned post and accidentally talked too much in the tags to hit the limit whoops. Added that txt yesterday bc I saw people primarily (some only) sharing donation links. Can you tell when I wrote stuff was I just ever so slightly irritated by all the emotions talk. Which yknow I get feeling angry and whatnot but I am specifically talking abt the stuff w "how can you not feel _". Idk if I already talked abt it or deleted it before hitting post some other time I think I did. Also was irritated by all the people yelling at people for being triggered like if you don't know the difference between discomfort and triggered do I not want you near me. That difference is very significant.

Idk man I am just tired of people equating empathy w humanity the most. I'm really glad I hardened up more bc I just think abt 2020 where I think I got first truly radicalized or/and learned a fuck ton but also all that guilt tripping and all made the already bad mental health further nosedive and that is just not sustainable neither for the cause or us. Like yes sharing and all actions that do help are important but it's also important to step away and do anything else to not burn out in like a day or two. Luckily the people that get followed got shaken up a bit and dash and rbs get focused more on positivity in general since then and that def helped long term (was gen "would _ rb that" "would _ scold if I would rb that" until it became a no brainer when my lifeline wasn't there. not the time to gush but fuck do I think I would still be in the same mud without him). Still not the best but better than then so sharing is easier on the mental health.

I feel. So weird for not being able to feel empathy for others but def feel it when others irritate me. Yeah I feel bad when I don't feel anything but what does it bring to force myself to feel something. I already knew in 2020 that the trying to force myself was empty I only felt like I have to try to feel awful bc of all the guilt tripping. It's hard to explain how it feels I think it's such a strange feeling. Anyways I'm at least aware enough to know if I get irritated around this I shouldn't constantly be vocal abt it bc it really does not matter in the grand scheme of things this is the only post and if further will I just on private bc no-one needs to see that but sometimes venting is needed.

I'm only really talking abt that bc reg the trigger stuff like ffs people still need to be able to function and there are things to do without getting triggered if the heavy topics are what do it. Also the people that want to help through sharing those can look at that if they know what they'll see and can get prepared first. I got ptsd doesn't mean I never ever look at any triggering stuff ever again I just need to be in the headspace and a heads up would always be very good. Really wish twt would do it like here w not completely not showing the tweet (minus in replies where you can click to show) if it has smth muted but saying "yo this post got this muted thing ya wanna see it". Like. People getting triggered are absolutely not the same people bitching bc they're just uncomfortable. The latter are the bad ones I do agree but know the fucking difference. Feeling uncomfortable just living happens like daily for the most standard reason so feeling that abt a horrendous situation should be a given. You however shouldn't get triggered daily. Also yes we can admire the people there but not everyone is as strong you shouldn't guilt them into dealing w more than they can. I'm gen (starting to consider, already did a few though) immediately blocking everyone posting that stuff esp the aggressive ones. I do not care if you have x or y not everyone experiences things the exact same way. I am being so good abt holding back insults.

And reg the emotions thing like people learn not everyone feels empathy and that it doesn't make people anything bad and that actions count challenge. Not everyone w aspd for example is automatically a evil person. What matters is if they talk abt things and if they genuinely stand behind them. Idk if I speak for most or if just past self but writing in all caps "how can you not feel bad/sad/angry/etc at seeing [atrocity, usually as video attached]" will make people not magically care if they didn't prior it'll just irritate them and scroll away. Factual information is what can make people turn around more (like, literally just share without that commentary for example). So many "both sides bad" focus on emotions afaik. Compassion, empathy, etc for both. There are people that see and feel bad abt what happens to them but still say both sides bad.

I'm tired I'll likely sleep now but yeah I just. Wanted to write abt it and get it out ig. Rb disabled and I won't bad faith argument idc if any of this sounded privileged to you. I can prob write all this way more eloquent but man idc this isn't a post that is supposed to spread and I wrote this while being sleepy. I also think there is, for individual people that aren't big names, some nuance reg having to talk abt something and being allowed to not engage in every important topic but 1 that is too complex to just kinda ramble about 2 this current event is less nuanced reg that I def think try to share as much as you can even if just occasionally. I think I only don't like it bc not saying anything online doesn't equal not doing anything. Someone could go to every protest they can and write and call but just not using their socials bc that takes their energy enough or smth. And some have multiple accs and only focus spreading it on their main (and/or w the biggest following, which should be used). I think that is what specifically gets me. But yeah didn't think abt it enough to form enough abt it and also maybe talking more abt it when this is over bc how I said it is less complicated rn. And. Yknow. When I am not tired as hell.

#a wild lux appears #I'm primarily on twt active reg all this and man would I love to pin other people's posts esp the info threads there #But alas I do not have the energy and I know anxiety would skyrocket if a own thread would be made to pin #Why can you pin posts from others on here but not on twt man #If I ever want to rant further will I do it on the other blog that can't be searched bc I am aware that's not the most important thing #I rather just avoid. maybe rb someone who said it way more eloquent than I could. and rather share other posts directly abt this #Kinda trying to avoid words bc I don't want this to be thrown into searches #We all know abt what country I talk abt but this post is irrelevant if someone searches the name #Hate how searches include the whole post and not just the damn tags #'that' 'this' and all it sounds so ridiculous but alas. I do not want this searchable

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magnoliamyrrh · 2 years ago

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just in case i don’t want to talk abt this any more tw incest u could just delete this

horrific n downright wrong. i wanna say u n everyone else includin that anon did not deserve this n the collective u deserves so much more but i am so grateful seein people talk abt this. i was raised w the extreme pressure that my gen was goin to break the cycle of that type of abuse n i have to come to terms that we didn’t n that’s ok at least to me. it’s so hard to admit to n so impactful to say out loud but it’s what has to b done. it a type of trauma that’s been in my fam for many many yrs n i gaslight myself into believin that we broke it. i stayed in denial n tbh still am in denial bcuz it’s so hard to blame a fam member. esp for me a girl n a teenage girl at that. this isn’t always the universal reaction so there is no guilt if this isn’t the case or if it is but u still luv them no matter what they did it’s so hard to blame them. but sexual abuse is sexual abuse. i hope to god every day that when i have children that will b when the cycle is broken n it all stops but i will never put the verbal pressure on them the way my parents did. one of them was a victim of smthn v extreme so i do not blame them (there it is again) but it’s torture to feel like u let them down when u did nothin wrong. admitting is always the first step to healin. i’m so proud of u for talkin abt this n that anon n everyone else.

ya! i think even though its uncomfortable as hell and disturbing its important that we talk about it. thank you <3 im proud of everyone who pitched in too, and of you, thank u for sharing; its really not easy. i dont think this is the sort of thing we can heal from individually, you know? especially when its a cultural thing. theres so much shame and fear and repression surrounding this kind of stuff, and the only way were gonna heal from it is if, like u said, well start accepting it and talking about it

and yea youre right it is really hard. like my father crossed any possible line with what he did and he abuses his wife too and. i really just want him dead like i dont give a damn, i have to try to calm myself bc i get too focused sometimes on how much i actually want him to suffer. but even with him at times im like,,,, ,, eh but i still care abt him? i went through a whole phase where i felt like it was my responsabilites to help him or like heal him from how deranged he is lmao. but it doesnt last long. but with everyone else its different. (?) like. i realized like idk a year ago that uh yea my grandma did lowkey molest me and it actually made me feel fucking insane. i had no idea what do with it and i still dont?? and its fucked and definitely not ok but like...,,, we all pretend like its fine or just didnt happen i guess bc its,, normal? acceptable??? its weird as all hell, most of the time i just kinda try to not think abt it because i have no idea how to even feel abt the woman when i do. if anything as much as it definitely kinda fucked me up, im frankly way more pissed abt the physical abuse/beatings and endless insults and yelling and shit - like that actually probably did more damage to me. but still like idk yea i .. idk if i excuse it but i definitely explain it like oh she didnt know better etc etc etc. but that doesnt.. ugh it doesnt excuse it?? but i still love her and care for her?? its a fucking nightmare to try to detangle all that. and the shit w my mom too and other family members like uh yea it grosses me out and definitely got to me, this combination of being raised as property + controlling parents + sexualized + actually being whored out by father has k.o.d whatever mental sanity i could have had and it took me many years to.... idk. even start remotely working through all that. but. i still care abt them...?? i think the fact that its no longer happening and dont rly consider it on the same level as the shit w my dad makes it kinda different in my head but its still not fucking ok

and yea. definitely one of the hardest parts of it is being blamed for being uncomfortable/grossed out or even punished for being so when rly thats such a normal reaction to have to this shit. it is psychologically torturous and it is gaslighting and it rly fucks u up in the head..... and its really hard to get to the point where u dont feel like u did anything wrong or you werent to blame. i do presume that w this particular kind of shit tho a lot of it is that they probably went through similar stuff, internalized and repressed it, never dealt w it, and then just proceed to do the same

i hope to god too ill be different. i want to believe in both of us and this new generation that we'll do a better job. i think the fact that were even talking abt it shows some progress u kno. my mother and grandmother told me for many years that i wont do a better job than them and its just normal for kids to be raised w beatings and yelling and insults and controlling behavior and all that shit,,,, but. ive always been terrified of that. since i was little i knew if i ever had a kid i wouldnt want to put them through any of this. if i cant break the cycle id rather not raise a kid at all. at least for the past like year or two my mother has actually accepted that some of the shit she did wasnt okay and that she was abused by my grandmother too and..... apologized??? which was insane. so. idk. its been a long and weird fucking process. but. i dont think its hopeless

#lmao speaking of mommy issues #god so many of us are so fucked up huh

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 4 years ago

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idk how many people would even want to see this BUT i wanna yell about Leela and Brax so here's a list of all their scenes togethr/scenes pertainng to them that i can recall (pLEASE add on if i missed anything/ you have any additional thoughts!! i could talk about these two all day!)

right off the bat in Weapon of Choice when Leela is on the outskirts of the Citadel and Brax goes to bring her back (which is interesting in and of itself, bc usually i would imagine a chancellery guard would go do that so what made Brax decide to instead??), Leela kinda goes off at him bc she's hurting and instead of trying to actually explain what's going on Brax doesn't even try to argue he just says "we need you" which is great bc Leela has that instinctive desire to be needed and to help people and he's speaking right to that -- also as far as we know, this is Leela and Brax's first actual meeting in canon? it's implied that they know of each other, which makes sense, but it doesn't seem like they've ever directly interacted before: Brax seems almost slightly uncertain, and Leela is combative, but when he's gentle with her she's actually quite receptive

the literal next scene after that, where the OT4 is all in one room for the first time (they still kinda hate each other at this point but still !!!). Narvin explaining Gryben and being a real jerk about it and Leela (understandibly!) questions if Gryben is a prison world, and Brax (who to this point has been mostly quiet as Narvin and Romana brief Leela) jumps in to both clarify Narvin's previous xenophobic statements while also maintaining the inherent questionable/negative connotations

(btw it's actually pretty important to note that Romana self-edits herself a lot when talking to Leela, especially in the earlier seasons; you can actually hear her revising the things she says to put it in terms that she thinks Leela will better understand. and i mean she does it out of genuine consideration for her friend associate but it often comes across as varying levels of patronizing. Narvin also obviously "dumbs things down" when dealing with Leela early on, but like... Brax never does that on any level. the only difference i can tell in how he addresses Leela vs how he talks to anybody else is that he seems much more kind with her than almost anyone else???)

their conversation about the Matrix in The Inquiry: this is REALLY important (and if you've ever talked to me on ao3 i've probably gone off to you about it lol) because it's layered. they're talking about the Matrix but they're also not because in answering Leela's question Brax is making a very thinly veiled allegory (which he outright states a minute later) to Time Lord society/politicians/most importantly HIMSELF -- he's actually strangely open about his morals/beliefs in this scene and i'm living for it tbh -- and i find it very interesting that even though he does directly explain what he means ("how do you know all this?" / "because i am a politician.") he also leaves it for Leela to work out the implications. like it's a very nuanced conversation bc there's double meaning in it and most people on Gallifrey seem to think that Leela is tone-deaf and can't pick up on that stuff (even Romana sometimes oversimplifies things to her) but Brax totally just lets her take from it what she will bc he believes her intelligent enough to understand. he doesn't think her any lesser because she's human.

ALSO on a secondary note to the above: the fact that Leela has a question/needed clarification (sorry, haven't listened to this in a while i forget how it actually happened) and actively sought out Brax to talk to about it?? like she knows Romana better she could have gone to her but i feel like Leela kinda imprinted on Brax and someone she can go to for help if she needs it; maybe it's partly bc she knows he's under marginally less pressure than Romana is but also the truth of the matter is that Brax was the most genuinely helpful person to her in the previous stories and that probably means a lot to her (esp. bc he acts like the essence of everything she hates about Gallifrey but he doesn't treat her the way she would expect from that). btw this topic is gonna come up again in a hot minute

that part where Brax gives her that information that might help her re: the Andred thing, even though he really probably shouldn't have done that -- it kinda makes me think about what he must have been like with Theta tbh???

actually this is mostly my own conjecture but there's some neat stuff in Spirit bc during the *waves hand vaguely* bodyswap dream sequence thing, Romana is very "!!!! Brax can help us !!!" which is tecnically Leela brain talking, so like there's the implications of the stuff i've said above about Leela having this idea of Brax where she knows he's someone she can go to for help

can u tell i'm soft for them

Leela sounding really sad/distracted when she talks about how Brax isn't there YES i'm grasping at straws but a lot of this relationship really is conveyed through the voice acting bc of how little direct focus there is on the characters. there's actually several scenes in Mindbomb where she mentions him and she outright says that she misses him during her discussion with Matthias

that implied scene with them in Mindbomb!! i have a Lot of thoughts about that!!! it's all conjecture and fanfic fodder!!! but the reason i mention this is because it seems pretty meta that out of the whole Gally Gang, it's Leela who first sees Brax when he comes back to Gallifrey and in turn she's the first person (besides Matthias, i guess) that he sees upon his return?? idk i just feel like that's somehow a meaningful detail??? also her reaction of utter shock after spending the entire episode missing him and how worked up she is when she tries to tell Romana, like I desperately need to know what happened in this missing scene MR RICHARDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

Leela insisting on going with Brax when Pandora starts hurting him and their whole conversation there is just. so good. like they're both just so soft and then when Darkel comes in Leela instantly goes into protective mode. like they just have such an open relationship bc Brax doesn't even try to be all pretentious with her, like he doesn't even try to keep up any facades when he's with her he's just very genuine and it really says a lot about both of them -- Leela is so good at seeing people, like getting down to the core of who people are and what makes them them (which is why she's good for Romana, btw, bc Romana has a lot of identity issues) and Brax is so tangled up in who he presents himself as that he barely knows who he actually is anymore but Leela can see that and she makes it so he can truly be himself and he doesn't have to hide. also she's so gentle with him when they talk about Pandora, she's very caring and empathetic and wants to make sure he's okay and i am WEAK

it's been a hot while since i listened to Panacea but I think i remember Brax being really soft with Leela when he first brings the gang to the Axis, like just sounding really glad to see her

ok other than the fact that Brax is lowkey relatable in Reborn (daydreaming fanfic about yourself/people you know? simping for Mary Tamm Romana? yeah mood, my man) there's that scene where they're first appraoching the Citadel on the alt!Gallifrey and it seems like none of them, and Brax specifically, have seen it from the outside in a good long while bc he's very in awe and he tells Leela that he wishes she could see it and he sounds sO hEcKiNg sOFT oh my word-

and once again with Leela thinking of Brax as someone she trusts for help: in Dissassembled when everything is going to crap she straight-up says that she wants to go find Brax bc he'll know what to do/be able to help

at the beginning of Annihilation when Romana is depressed and questioning if Brax truly was her friend and Leela INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION assures her that he was; i lost where i had her exact lines written down but she actually kinda goes off to make sure Romana gets the point

literally forcing myself to talk about this bc it makes my brain stall out but like,,, the Brax Hound in Annihilation,,, Leela being like "goodbye, Braxiatel... again" she sounds so sad and like UGH i always kinda forget how sad it actually is for them to lose Brax in Dissassembled bc like, it was so sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and Leela is always losing people and i have many many feels about this scene and how all that emotion is made very clear in how they each respond to the Hound (might make a separate post abt this later if anyone is interested ::eyes::)

Enemy Lines is utter bullcrap about these two and I will never stop being salty about how they not only sidelined the very good, very subtle friendship they had in s1-4, but they??? made Leela acutally not trust Brax??? when literally this entire time she's been the one person who probably genuinely trusts him the most?? what the heck, David

I haven't heard TW3 or 4 yet but i'm assuming there's nothing worthwhile in those with regards to this duo (correct me if i'm wrong tho lol, i would love to be mistaken in this assumption)

TL;DR Leela and Brax mututally imprinted on each other and have probably the most open and healthy relationship within the OT4 and it is an absolute CRIME that nobody besides Gary Russell and Justin Richards cared enough to actually build on it in canon

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omegawolverine · 4 years ago

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I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

#shit self #asks #boku no hero academia #long post #bakugou katsuki #yes i am a bakugou kinnie shut the fuck up /lh #this is all /nm btw its just so much easier to make my long posts aggressive yk #this is just how i talk irl but Better Formatted #info dump #kinz #anti mitsuki #discourse #bangerz

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blxetsi · 4 years ago

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Hello! I love your blog and writing so much! May I please request modern au dating hcs for Mikasa?

tysm for requesting ilysm 🙈💥

i also went a bit overboard i hope thats okay !!

modern mikasa ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!mikasa ackerman x gn!reader

- eren finds out abt her crush on you. idc idc

- mf may be dense sometimes but he isnt stupid, he KNOWS what mikasa acts like when shes in the presence of her crush,, he would know bc he was one ;)

- anyways, maybe your like, going up to ask mikasa for her notes from last class, or just chatting with them to be friendly

- either way mikasa goes from 😳 to 😐 real quick

- shes very quiet which youre used to so you dont really think too long abt her lack of communication. its literally just you and eren talking at this point

- after you leave to,,, idk sit under a tree ?? erens immediately turning to mikasa being like "okay tell me everything"

- she denies the crush on u 😔💔

- but then eren tells armin.

- and eren has a big mouth so who knows who else he told ??

- so finally, after beating up eren for spilling the beans she tells her two closest friends EVERYTHING

- like from how nice your hair smells to how pretty she finds your eyes. how she loves your sense of style. she just likes everything about you

- erens like "i mean yeah theyre rlly cute but like,,, what do you like about them that isnt physical 😐"

- mikasa starts blushing HARD. and slowly goes to her bedroom in their shared apartment, before slinking back out holding a crinkly folded piece of paper.

- its something you wrote and it says "thanks for studying with me mikasa !! let me treat you to boba as a thanks. youre so sweet, ill see you next class babie"

- erens looking at the note like 😐 mf is this it ??

- armins flipping it back and forth and reading it over and over again

- mikasa just says "theyre kind to everyone. and theyre funny. i just like them a lot."

- erens like 🙄 k but armins all for it

- then they start coming up with a plan to get you to like mikasa back (even though mikasa doesnt want that)

- erens an asshole and says "mikasa i love you and you will always be my number one, HOWEVER. they might just see you as a friend, OR WORSE. an aquaintance. we gotta make u so cool that youre irresistable"

- now mikasa is a bit worried

- HOWEVER. what none of those idiots know is that YOU have had a fat crush on mikasa since you asked her for a pencil at the beginning of the semester 😍 she stared at u like 😐✏️ and u were like "omg thanks 😊" w a little blush on ur cheeks bc mikasa's hot

- i mean,, if you didnt like mikasa WHY would you have invited her out for boba ?? one, who doesnt like boba ?? and two,, doesnt that count as a date ? u didnt know but u just wanted to like ✨subtly✨ shoot your shot

- but that was almost a month ago and she hasnt said yes. so you assume she didnt wanna go

- a few days go by after mikasa tells her friends all about her crush. and like,,, they do nothing ?? what happened to the big plan of making mikasa seem like the coolest person around ?

- it turns out eren doesnt know enough about you to know what you like. and ur dumbass friends aint help either.

- so one day he finds you and mikasa coming out of your shared class, your talking about something and mikasa is just nodding with a blush on her cheeks.

- he runs up to both of you before saying "hey just to let you know mikasa has a big crush on you. and she'd love to go get boba with you 😁👍"

- mikasa gets so red in the face and starts smacking him with her binder. you couldnt stop it even if you tried

- after literally YELLING at them for their attention you just turn to mikasa like "please get boba with me 🥺" and she cant resist

- and then the rest is history 😌✨

- after the boba date you learned so much about her and vice versa. you guys were like,, closer than ever. always going to her apartment or her coming to your dorm

- you guys would have sleepovers very frequently. nothing ever happens but you two like being so close with each other

- and you guys do a lot together when you arent busy with school or work or friends

- mikasa takes you to cool museums and art galleries

- you take her to cool shops downtown and parks

- its so fun

- but you cant help but wonder if youre dating or not ?? like do you have the right to call mikasa your gf ?? you guys havent kissed on the lips but she always kisses your head when you cuddle, and you always take each other out on dates

- on the day you finally bring it up during one of your sleepovers. shes on her back and youre almost on top of her with your arms around her shoulders and your face smushed into her chest

- u just kinda mumble "are you my girlfriend ?"

- and its SILENT.

- u start freaking out bc "omg she doesnt like me 😁👍 im gonna cry"

- until she just quietly says. "yes."

- OFNWIDNKWSMWKKWKALSMQLSME

- ur gonna marry this girl 😐

- her love language ?? definitely acts of service. idc idc.

- when u sleep over shes making you tea without u asking. (u said u liked lavender tea ONCE and this bith got a whole container 😭😭)

- when you have movie nights with her, eren, and armin she always chooses a movie you like ("no we arent watching the florida project again armin cried last time" "yeah but y/n loves it so" "this feels like oppression mikasa" "okay and ?")

- is also very protective. she hears mfs in the halls talking shit about you ?? shes shutting them up with her glare

- also u know how isayama made her goth in his like, highschool thingy ?? yeah 😍

- #gothmikasasupremacy

- she makes her eyeliner and shadow messy on purpose.

- you love just laying her down on her bed and straddling her, just leaning over and doing her makeup for her (jules and anna tease 🙈✨)

- sometimes you guys go to thrift stores and pick out outfits for each other

- one time you found this GORGEOUS floral sundress and she physically shivered from the thought of wearing

- tried it on and looked SO BEAUTIFUL, but it wasnt her style 😐

- also doesnt tell her parents about you ?? not bc shes embarassed or anything but just because she knows her dad is gonna be like "who are they ? what are they like ? where do they live ? whats their major ? where are they from ? whats their zodiac sign ?"

- he doesnt do it to play the "overprotective dad" role but because hes genuinely curious and excited

- she brings you home for the first time and youre so surprised because this tall blond man is her FATHER ?? she looks so much like her mom though its not even funny

- for dinner her mom and dad made traditional japanese food 😭😭 it was so good omfg

- also this has nothing to do with dating headcanons but mikasa used to live off of lunchables as a kid. was literally addicted to the rubber like ham 😍

- her mom is so sweet, and she shows you all of the stuff she's embroidered all these years

- her dad is so extroverted, he loves telling dad jokes. you find them HILARIOUS but mikasa sits there like 😐👍

- he DEMANDS you guys play scrabble. he says it help him figure out who you are as a person. now youre scared 😁👍

- anyways

- you love giving her little kisses on her lips because one, you get some of her moisturizing lip gloss on your lips and two, she blushes SO HARD

- one time you two were on a date and you ran into her ex. whos literally so scary

- her name is annie and shes blonde and muscular and rlly hot but has that same blank stare as mikasa

- you feel kinda weird bc how did she go from being with ANNIE to you ??

- you ask her abt it and shes like "oh yeah we dated in our last year of high school. im much happier with you" and now youre feeling all giggly and happy bc mikasa doesnt lie 😭😭

- u roll around on her bed with your cheeks squished together to hide your blush bc you feel so good that she said that

- she just rolls her eyes before getting on top of you and taking your hands away from your face

- she gives u kisses all over before putting the final one on your lips. its such a soft and sweet moment with just the two of you, you cant help but confirm what youve already thought:

youre gonna marry her one day.

a/n

i REAAALLLLYYYY enjoyed making this oml. i hope u all enjoyed this !! remember: requests r open for anything aot OR u can give me ideas for other fandoms to write for

kk goodbye friends 🤩🤩🤩

#attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #mikasa ackerman #mikasa ackerman x reader #eren jaeger #eren yeager #armin arlert #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin imagine

139 notes · View notes

meltwonu · 5 years ago

Text

s n a k e | e y e s [chapter 7]

pairing; snakehybrid!woozi x female!reader

this chapter’s notes; SWITCH!WOOZI, jihoon being a bit of a brat, mutual masturbation, blindfolds, cockwarming, some dirty talk 🥺💕 thank you to everyone for being so patient with me! Some new minor characters in this one too!! 💕💕 Also this chapter is abt 4k+ so strap in for the ride~

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - x - x - x

The first thing Jihoon notices when he wakes up is that he feels cold despite being wrapped up in a ton of blankets.

His tired eyes scan the room, noticing he’s now in your shared bedroom and that the heaters and humidifiers had been moved into the space to help bring his temperature back up. A whimper escapes his lips as he shifts slightly, tiredly nuzzling into the soft sheets. He also picks up on familiar scents; eyes fixated on the door while not making any movements to get up.

And almost like he wills it, the door slams open, Mingyu on the other side with a worried face.

“Jihoon-hyung!! I’m here!!” The tall puppy hybrid bounds towards the bed, a fistfull of flowers in his grip as he kneels next to it. “I knew you were awake! Are you okay? Do you wanna eat?” Mingyu’s ears flatten atop his head in worry, tail swishing behind him as he leans closer into Jihoon’s face.

“You wanna cuddle?”

“...No.” Jihoon’s voice is hoarse, tugging the bed sheets up to cover his face. “Where is Seungcheol-hyung? I assume he’s here with you.” The puppy hybrid sits back, crossing his legs as he sits next to the bed on the floor.

“I think he’s still talkin’ to Wonwoo-hyung.” A lightbulb goes off in Jihoon’s head; that must’ve been the other hybrid that he had picked up on other than Mingyu. Wonwoo was a red panda hybrid and also a doctor on staff at Seungcheol’s. Jihoon never really saw him since he usually only came around when there was a medical issue, but he did remember Wonwoo from the few checkups he had while at Seungcheol’s.

“How long have you guys been here?” Mingyu sets his, clearly, stolen flowers on the nightstand, a pout on his lips as he stares at the ceiling.

“Well, you’ve been asleep for like 13 hours? I think we’ve been here since last night…”

“Wait… last night!?”

Mingyu quickly relays the info to him; letting Jihoon know what exactly happened while he was knocked out.

You had called Seungcheol immediately, letting him know that Jihoon had passed out in your arms and that he was colder than usual but breathing fine. Seungcheol had shown up with Mingyu in tow 20 minutes later, phone pressed up to his ear talking to Wonwoo when they had arrived.

Mingyu had helped transfer Jihoon into your bed while you and Seungcheol moved all the heaters and humidifiers to the bedroom and Wonwoo had shown up soon after to assess the situation.

“And?”

“Well, then Seungcheol-hyung and I slept in the living room on an air mattress but Wonwoo-hyung had to leave and just came back this morning. Hyung said we should stay overnight just in case, so we did! Um, I think one of the night shift nurses from the adoption home came by at some point?? It might’ve been Joshua-hyung but I was asleep so I’m not sure.” Jihoon asks about you; guilt washing over him almost immediately when he thought of how worried you must’ve been.

“Oh yeah, she was really worried! She slept on the floor in here if I remember correctly. But she’s out there talkin’ to ‘Cheol-hyung and Wonwoo-hyung. Did you want me to get them?”

“Yes, please, Mingyu.” The puppy hybrid gets up and leaves, yelling down the hallway that Jihoon was awake. The snake hybrid chuckles softly, sitting up as best as he can while he waits for you. His head feels fuzzy and a little lightheaded but when you cross the threshold of the bedroom he can’t help but break into a small smile.

“Jihoon! You’re awake!” You all but launch yourself at the bed, pulling him into a comforting hug as he nuzzles into your neck. He takes in your scent; something he had come to love so much. “I was so worried about you!”

“I know, I’m sorry...”

“Silly, don’t be sorry!” The two of you stay in each other’s embrace for a little longer as the other three males stand by the door, watching with fond eyes. But Wonwoo clears his throat, stepping closer towards the two of you. “Um, I hate to be that guy but I need to check how Jihoon’s doing…”

You nod, pulling away and letting Wonwoo do his job. His ears perk up as he gets closer to Jihoon, fluffy tail swishing behind him. You thought Wonwoo was a very cute hybrid. “Hey, bud.”

“Don’t call me that please…”

“Okay, sorry. Anyway, do you know what happened to you? Were you feeling ill or did you have any weird symptoms? Did you know you were getting sick?” Confusion paints Jihoon’s features as he listens to Wonwoo speak. Sick? He hadn’t even felt anything different.

“No… not at all. I mean, I--I was kinda sleepy so I went to lay down and I--I forgot to, um, turn on my heaters and stuff...”

“Is that all? Do you know how long you were asleep like that?”

“I g-guess a couple hours?” Wonwoo hums, “You didn’t feel weird? Like your temperature was dropping?” Jihoon shakes his head no, fingers playing with the sheets as Wonwoo checks his vitals again. “I was just… really tired I guess. I was feeling okay when I went in, and I didn’t--I wasn’t thinking straight. I guess I was distracted.” Wonwoo checks his temperature and heartbeat once more before he pulls away.

“Okay, I mean… your vitals were stable last night, this morning when Vernon came to check and right now. Your temperature is still kind of on the lower side though. You’ll probably feel a low-grade human cold, so sniffles, a bit of a cough, sore throat. Basic stuff. It’s nothing serious but you should probably keep all the heaters and humidifiers on through the night to help bring your temperature up. It’s still raining outside so avoid going outside too. You should be okay in a day or two, realistically.”

Nodding, you take a seat on the edge of the bed. “Is there any medication he can take?”

“I have some cold medication I can give Jihoon. It’ll just help with the sore throat and runny nose but his temperature is strictly based on how quickly his body stabilizes itself.” Wonwoo fixes his stare on Jihoon, making sure he understands.

Jihoon nods in return.

Wonwoo leaves a small prescription of medication on the nightstand and gives you his direct number just in case you need it. You thank him, getting ready to walk the three males to the door but not before Mingyu stops you all in your places.

“Wait!! I wanna hug Jihoon-hyung if it’s okay?” Mingyu shoots Wonwoo a questioning look, the red panda hybrid nodding silently before he and Seungcheol start down the hall to the door. “Jihoon-hyung may I hug you?”

“...fine…” The puppy hybrid beams before walking over with open arms, slightly lifting the smaller male into his arms as he squeezes. “You need to come visit us sometime!! Seokmin misses you too, y’know!” Jihoon nods, gently returning the hug as he pats Mingyu on the back.

“I know, I’ve been meaning to, I just haven’t found the time. But I will.” Mingyu leans in closer, his lips close to Jihoon’s ear; his canines peeking out when he smirks.

“You should be careful about fuckin’ on the sofa too, y’know. I made Seungcheol-hyung sleep on it but imagine if he knew? Wonwoo-hyung and I could smell it from a mile away.”

“Good, you should know to keep your hands to yourself around here then?”

The three leave soon after and you decide to order in some food so the two of you could properly get some more rest; Jihoon settling back against the pillows as you lay next to him.

“How are you feelin’, Ji?”

“M’okay… A ‘lil sleepy but I think I slept a lot already. Might be itching for a nap in a bit or something.” You nod, intertwining your hand with his. “We can wait for the food to get in and then you can eat and maybe take some of your medicine. We can cuddle ‘til then though.” Not waiting for a reply, you scoot over, wrapping your arms around Jihoon from the side as he adjusts to accommodate you, tugging you into his arms. You nuzzle into his chest; a tiny frown on your face when you can feel the chill radiating off of his skin.

But Jihoon immediately relaxes in your touch, loving the warmth radiating from your body as he wraps his arms tighter around you. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure?”

“Mingyu said you slept on the floor? How come you didn’t sleep next to me?” There’s an underlying hurt in Jihoon’s voice that you catch, leaning in closer to press a soft kiss to his exposed collarbone. “I would’ve but we didn’t know what was wrong or how sick you were. Wonwoo was worried it was more than a cold so he asked that we all kind of keep our distance, just in case. I had to beg him to let me even sleep in here, to be honest. He’s a pretty strict doctor, huh?” Jihoon smiles, pulling you closer until he can lay a kiss on your forehead.

“Yeah, he is. But he’s a good doctor. And as a hybrid he really understands how to take care of other hybrids. Joshua-hyung and Vernon are good nurses too. It’s pretty interesting that the doctor is a hybrid and the nurses are humans, right?”

“Mmm.. it’s a good thing though! Wonwoo would know best and the others are probably good at following his lead since he does. He’s also got a really fluffy tail, s’pretty cute.”

“Are you crushing on my doctor now? The same one that knows we fucked on the sofa?”

You break into a blush, ears burning red when you remember that hybrids had a better sense of smell than humans did.

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, only getting up when the doorbell rings to let you know your delivery is in. You slide out of bed, giving Jihoon one last kiss before you exit the room.

Jihoon takes the time to think. He really did want to go visit the adoption home again; if only to visit the only other friends he’d come to know and like. And even though he always happily accompanied you on grocery runs and even a few times when you had to pop into the office, he figured a trip back was due sometime soon, for himself.

“Okay! I got the food~ Did you wanna eat now or later?” On cue, his stomach grumbles, a sheepish smile on his face as he sits up in bed. “I think now would be good.”

You set up on the nightstand, moving his medicine and Mingyu’s stolen flowers to your vanity. “Where did Mingyu even get these?”

“Trust me, none of us ever know. Back at the adoption home he always came back from walks with the weirdest stuff. One time he found a whisk outside and brought it back in. We still don’t know where he got it.”

“I mean his heart is in the right place, at least?” Jihoon nods, watching as you grab the bowl of rice porridge and the spoon, sitting at the edge of the bed next to him.

“Are you gonna feed me too?”

“Shouldn’t I? My sick ‘lil baby needs some lovin’.” Jihoon rolls his eyes jokingly but lets you; secretly loving being pampered. The two of you soon fall into idle chatter, enjoying each other’s company while you feed the sick male.

“Oh, by the way…”

“Mm?”

“Mingyu mentioned me visiting them sometime soon so… I was thinking about doing that.”

“That’s fine with me! Maybe you can take Chan with you and introduce him to the others. I don’t know if he has that many friends either. He might like it?” Jihoon nods, asking you to ask Minghao what days were okay for Chan to come visit at some point within the next week. You promise to text Minghao soon, finishing up feeding Jihoon before you set down the bowl and get up to grab his medicine.

“I thought you didn’t like Chan, but I’m glad the two of you seem to hit it off.”

“What? When did I say that?”

“Well… you didn’t say it necessarily but need I remind you what you did to my panties last time?” Jihoon chuckles, a smirk gracing his features as he leans back. “No, I think the kid is nice. Just needs to know his place, y’know?”

“Okay well Mr. Possessive, Wonwoo said it’d be best for you to take these after you eat so I guess now’s a good time!” You pass him the medicine and a glass of water, making sure he takes it before you start to clean up around him.

“Aren’t you gonna eat?”

“In a bit. You’re probably gonna start feeling the effects of the medicine soon, so it’s okay if you want to sleep, Ji. You probably need it so that you can get better quicker.” He watches you tidy up for a little while before his eyelids start to feel heavy, a yawn on his lips as he starts to settle back under the covers.

“Mm… ‘m jus… gonna nap a bit…”

When Jihoon comes to, 2 hours later, you’re in bed next to him working on your laptop. The drowsiness from his medicine was still apparent as he whines slightly to get your attention.

“Everything okay, Ji?”

“Just.. a ‘lil cold… can you cuddle with me?” You set your things aside on the nightstand, adjusting yourself until you’re spooning him from the side. “Still feeling sleepy?”

“Mmm… kinda… usually I’d eat you out by now or somethin’ though. I wish I wasn’t so weak, right now.” You snort. Of course Jihoon always had that in mind. “Is that all you think about? Eating me out?”

“I mean… it makes you extra warm. It feels good for me and for you too.” Ok, not wrong. An idea pops into your head and you bite the inside of your cheek wondering if it was too out of pocket to ask or not. But Jihoon can feel you tense up behind him, his body shifting in your arms until he’s facing you.

“Penny for your thoughts? I could feel your body going stiff.”

“Well… I have an idea… But I don’t know if you’ll be into it or not…” You blush, already kind of regretting even bringing it up, but you’ve already started so you decide to not hold back. “What if we tried… me being the dom?”

Jihoon can’t stop the thrum of arousal that shoots down his spine, already curious about what that entailed.

“I… yeah, let’s try it.”

You can’t help the way your throat feels dry as you rummage through your things; grabbing a silk ribbon and a vibrator from inside your dresser before you strip down to just your panties and bra.

Shockingly, Jihoon had been interested in your ideas, letting you take the reins as he got comfortable, soft pillows tucked underneath his head as he watched you. He couldn’t deny the way his cock throbbed in his sweatpants, already anticipating what you had in store for him. “Ji? Wanna use the same safeword?”

“O-oh? Yeah, sure…”

You make your way back to the bed, instead sitting at the foot of the bed across from Jihoon. The room already feels warm with the humidifiers and the heaters going; a bead of sweat trickling down your temple as you set your things down next to you. There was no denying that you were already a little wet; the thought of Jihoon being a sub was always something you were curious about but unsure if he’d even let you have that much control.

“I want you to watch me first…”

Jihoon gulps, eyes trained on you as you spread your legs slightly. You grab the vibrator, setting it to its lowest setting before you start to drag it across your body, up your torso and towards your lips, licking the silicone before sending him a smile.

“You can touch yourself too, if you wanna. But no cumming.”

Jihoon processes your words but doesn’t move, too fixated on you to even care about himself.

He watches you drag the toy back down, running it across your thighs before you press it against your clothed slit, a mewl on your lips as soon as soon as you feel the vibrations. “Mmh, Jihoon…” Jihoon licks his lips, eyes focused on the way your toes curl against the sheets and your legs only spread open wider.

“C--can you take off your p-panties…”

“Hmm? Do you think you deserve it?”

“Y-yes…” You shoot him a sultry smile, setting the vibrator down for a second before you unhook your bra, tossing the material to the floor before you shimmy your panties down your legs. This time, you throw the material towards Jihoon, letting it hit him in the chest as you giggle.

You return to what you were doing, picking up the vibrator as you bring it to your folds again, slowly bringing the toy towards your clit. Jihoon’s mouth opens in a quiet moan the same time yours does, his fingertips gripping the sheets tightly. “Fuck, I wanna touch you so bad…”

“I know you do, but that’s not how we’re playing right now, baby boy.”

The nickname sends a shiver up his spine almost instantaneously.

Jihoon keeps his eyes trained on you as he moves the bed sheets off himself, hesitating for a second before he takes his clothes off as well. “Shit, it’s c-cold…”

“Oh, I know, baby. Don’t worry though. I’ll warm you up soon, okay?” He nods as he takes the panties you’d throw at him and grips the material in his hand. His cock is already half hard, curving towards his abdomen as he brings the material towards it. You watch as he wraps your panties around his cock, using the material to get off on while he watches you too.

The room is undeniably hot; only getting worse when you turn the vibrations higher, a wrecked moan cutting through the air when you press the toy harder against your clit. You can feel the wetness starting to gather on the toy as you drag it down your folds; spreading your legs as wide as you can to give Jihoon a show.

“Wanna fuck me yet, Ji?”

Jihoon’s jaw clenches at your words, his grip on his cock tightening ever so slightly.

“Just as much as I know you wanna sit on my cock.”

Touché.

Jihoon is slightly hesitant when you clamber into his lap, silk ribbon in between your fingertips.

“You gotta trust me, baby. I let you tie me up with my ripped up panties, I’m sure you can be blindfolded for a bit, can’t you?” He nods, licking his lips out of nervousness. “You can always use our safeword if you feel uncomfortable, okay?”

“Okay… I trust you.”

You lean over, wrapping the silk ribbon around his head until his eyes are covered with the soft material.

“Everything okay so far? Not too tight?” He shakes his head no, giving you the okay to continue as you tie a pretty bow to finish it off.

And despite Jihoon’s initial hesitation, he can’t deny the way his body already feels so much warmer with your skin touching his; the sensation heightened now that his vision was diminished. He feels your hands snaking down his torso, your lips on his collarbone leaving soft kisses, and he can’t help but think that he can get used to this.

But the part that Jihoon loves is when you finally sit on his cock, lowering yourself onto him until he’s fully sheathed inside your warmth. Goosebumps are all over your skin when you do; Jihoon’s temperature still colder than usual.

“How are you feeling, baby boy?”

“Fuh--feels g--good…”

Without saying anything, Jihoon keeps his hands to himself, sliding them underneath the pillows as he digs his hands into the soft material. “Fuck, you’re so hot and w-wet around me…” He finishes with a moan, just wanting to plant his feet on the bed and thrust up into you. But Jihoon knows his limits and knows his body is still weak so he lets you sit on his cock, clenching around him every so often. And if Jihoon is being completely honest, just having you do this much was already doing wonders for his body.

“Ngh, I could live like this, y’know.”

“Oh? Just me sitting on your cock?”

“Mmhmm, I’d make you sit on it all day. Then I’d make you beg me to let you cum.” There’s a cocky smirk on his lips and you can almost see the smolder in his eyes through the blindfold.

“Yeah? Just like the way I’m going to make you beg me to let you cum?” Jihoon suddenly hears the vibrator come back to life, hearing it come closer as you press the silicone toy against his torso. He swallows thickly, his head suddenly feeling insanely hot as you bring the toy to a nipple, letting the vibrations assault his skin.

“Fuck! Fuck, please, okay, okay!” He whimpers right after, unable to decide if he wants to arch into the feeling or away from it from how ticklish he was. “Fu--fuck, you’re a demon. You really are.” You turn the toy off, tossing it next to him as you lean in close.

“Oh, I am. But you are too. It’s why we’re so compatible.”

Time passes slowly for Jihoon as you run your hands all over his skin. The urge to cum is undeniable as he tries to stave it off for what feels like the 8th time.

However, you can already notice a difference in his body temperature which makes you happy, despite the interesting situation.

“I can’t believe you got sick. And that one of the ways to get your temperature up is… this.”

“Honestly? No complaints.” You clench around him for effect, a mewl cutting through the air from the snake hybrid. “Ugh, please… please f-fuck me…” A cherry blush coats Jihoon’s skin as he mutters.

“Can’t take it anymore?”

“N--no, I can’t I--I want to cum, please. I need you to do something, I’m fucking going crazy...”

“Okay, but you can only cum after I have.”

You grab the toy again, letting it buzz to life in your hand before you press it to your clit. Simultaneously, you start to bounce on his cock, alternating between that and grinding down onto his lap as Jihoon fights the urge to push you over and take control.

The room smells of sex; moans bouncing off the walls as you chase your orgasm. “Can you take off the blindfold, I wanna see you…” You figure Jihoon’s been good enough, so you oblige, tugging the bow undone as he pulls the material down. And once his eyes adjust to the light, he takes in your body, watching as his cock disappears into your pussy as you hold the vibrator to your clit. “Fuck yes, make yourself cum on my cock.” Jihoon can feel you getting tighter around him, urging you with pretty praise to fall apart on his cock.

“C’mon, cum for me. I can feel your ‘lil cunt getting so tight around me.” You moan in response, setting the toy to a higher setting before you cry out Jihoon’s name, thighs trembling as you feel yourself cumming.

Jihoon feels a twinge of electricity go through his body as he sees red for a second, pushing you onto your back in the midst of your orgasm. And you have no time to figure out what’s going on before he’s pounding into you; thrusts erratic as he chases his own orgasm.

“Fuck, you’re insane. It took me everything to not pin you down to the bed and just fuck you senseless. And don’t get me wrong, it felt nice to be pampered and doted on but… Fuck, I love fucking you just like this too.”

Jihoon keeps your hand that still has the vibrator in it, pinned to your clit, making you whimper. “Aww, cute ‘lil baby still cumming?” You nod shakily, the overstimulation biting into you slowly as you squirm underneath him. “S’okay, I’m gonna cum inside your pussy now that you’ve had your fun.” He starts grinding against you, growling slightly when he starts to feel himself cum. And he can’t tell if it’s because he had already been feeling lightheaded, but his orgasm feels ten times as intense; tingles spreading all the way down to his fingertips as he cums inside of you.

You moan at the feeling of being filled, your shaky legs wrapping around his waist to pull him in closer. Jihoon pulls your hand away, the vibrator falling to the sheets as he pins your arms down to the bed instead. He watches as you catch your breath, your post-orgasmic face cute to him.

“God, you’re so perfect for me baby.” He leans down, kissing you on the lips gently as he comes down from his high. You lay underneath him completely exhausted, letting him keep you pressed into the sheets as he enjoys your warmth.

“Fu--ck, Ji, I... how are you even?? Where?? The energy???” You words are jumbled, confusion painted across your features as he smirks down at you.

“Maybe you took home an incubus and you didn’t know.”

#snakehybrid!woozi #woozi smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #woozi scenarios #woozi imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #svt imagines #woozi #lee jihoon

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mono-dot-jpeg · 4 years ago

Text

tower of mistakes [pt.2] - o. tooru & k. kyotani

summary; i had to use you to make me feel strong.

genre; angst with no happy ending, angst, sad, there is no happy here, regrets were made

word count; 1.3k

warnings; dark themes, mentions of scooter ankle [su*cide], mentions of bullying

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ part 1

a/n; so people actually want a part two of my dumbass lowkey venting with a song? litty, this is gonna be following oikawa more than it will follow y/n and kyotani so yeah. take this sequel that will never top the first part

this one will be based off the song, “my time” by bo en. the translations might not be accurate so forgive me. i know the song isn’t abt scooter ankle but it fits well with the story.

Close you eyes, you’ll be here soon.

Oikawa didn’t think much after you left the team. One less person that could ruin the team right? He thought.

At first.

He saw you in the halls once in a while. You looked so dull...almost dead. It nearly scared him. What had happened after you left? Why did you look like that now?

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 minutes

As time passed by, he watched you from afar as others hurt you with words more than actions. Is this what happened even before you joined? He had wondered. He had noticed how the new manager got too close to his teammates. He can remember how you were too scared to get close to anyone. Yet, you were somewhat close to Kyotani. Why?

I really want to sleep. But I cannot.

But he realized, you saw him as a form of protection from the world. Even with how rough and rude Kyotani was, you found a safe place with him though it wasn’t much. It meant a lot to Oikawa when he noticed how you preferred the angry male over him at first but now that he looked back at it, it made sense. Kyotani kept people away, you just wanted a safe place away from others. He was that safe place.

The rumors and everything took that away from you. He took that away from you. Oikawa couldn’t imagine the pain you felt after you were forced to quit. He took away something you found safety in. The only safe place you had was taken away from you.

Goodnight.

The new manager seemed rather lazy as the days went by. Oikawa noticed it, Iwazumi noticed it, and even Kyotani noticed it. She did the bare minimum of her manager work. y/n would always do the most. Oikawa thought subconsciously. When the new manager finished the minimum of the work, she would be on her phone.

Goodnight.

y/n wouldn’t do that. He thought again. He can remember when you were so generous with helping the others. Iwazumi often had to scold you and tell you to take a break. Kyotani would even urge you to take a break. The new manager took a lot of breaks, it was questionable to the entire team if she really did her job as manager or not.

Goodnight.

Oikawa often used to find the girl snickers with others and pointing at someone. That someone was you but Oikawa never had a chance to find out.

Goodnight.

Oikawa was restless, what more did he take away from you? What more bad did he do before you went up and left without a trace? The rumors.

Goodnight, goodnight. Close your eyes and you’ll leave this dream.

He knew how bad rumors could get. He was popular after all. He can think about a few of those rumors that made you and Kyotani uncomfortable. Sometimes you were assumed to be a couple but you knew it was far from being that.

That’s strike one.

Somebody had framed you for hurting someone. Everyone believed the rumor. Unfortunately, the team did too because all the evidence had pointed to you despite you knowing you never did it (and the mere fact that no one let you defend yourself).

That’s strike two.

You paid your way into the team. People had claimed. They thought you weren’t worthy enough to be a manager. Oikawa sometimes felt like that when it came to volleyball. He wondered how often you felt that way when you were in the team.

That’s strike three.

Goodnight, goodnight. I know that it’s hard to do.

Why couldn’t he realize it sooner? Maybe this wouldn’t have happened then. The dread that hung along every member of the team everytime your name would be uttered. People would talk about you as if you were an old friend but it was far from the truth. You were a victim. The team realized that. Fellow classmates didn’t want to acknowledge the truth. They were the cause of your demise.

Days go by. Oh, well. Moments passed, shattered glass.

The team lived with the guilt, the misery, the suffering of knowing that they could’ve done something but they didn’t. Oikawa watched the life get sucked out of the team as news of your death spread. It hit him rather hard but not as hard as it hit Kyotani. While Kyotani didn’t talk much to you, he liked your presence.

But his last words to you were, “Stop getting in my way!” He yelled at you before you got kicked off the team and that was the last time he talked to you. He regrets it now. He wished he didn’t push you away when you were only trying to care for him. His last words to you were burning in his mind. He hated it because he knew he was one of the reasons you were now gone.

Hands of time. Where’s that chime?

He never said anything but he knew that you found a safe place with him. He was your safe place and he managed to mess it up when it was so easy to not mess it up. He knew a lot about your situation back then, he told you to ignore it. That he would take care of it. But he didn’t. That’s what made it hurt more.

He was supposed to keep you safe. But he didn’t.

In my head. I’ll just...I’ll just...I’ll just...I’ll just...

It was the day. More like the anniversary. It was the day you died. Oikawa swallowed the lump in his throat. It was his last year in Aoba Johsai, it would’ve been yours too. It was time to pay you a visit. The third years and second years stayed behind as the first years left the gym. There’s a dead silence. Everyone knew what was gonna happen.

The walk is short. Or maybe they were too fast. They all stood in front of the gravestone.

y/n l/n

Your name was engraved with the usual stuff that would be on a grave.

Hands of time will wring my neck. Every little moment spells regret.

Oikawa’s hands shake as he places the flowers the ground. He starts to talk as if you were still there. Still there and able to be their manager. Still there and alive. It doesn’t take long for the other to join in. They seemed to understand that Oikawa did this to cope easier. Iwazumi knew he did this every time they visited you. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t do it either.

But I don’t have to feel this way. As a voice inside my head.

“I’m sorry.”

Goodnight.

“We hurt you.”

Goodnight.

“You didn’t deserve it at all.”

Goodnight.

“I hope you will live peacefully in another life.”

Goodnight.

Kyotani was the first one to leave. He didn’t want to face you even in you were in a grave. He thought he didn’t deserve it. To see you. To even face you. That this was his fault. He walked. And walked.

Goodnight, goodnight. Close your eyes and you’ll leave this dream.

He stopped by the convenience store, walking right in to grab a drink and a snack. More specifically your favorites. It had become routine for him and you to go here and buy stuff. It was still routine for him. Maybe it was because it left so many memories for him. He didn’t wanna leave the memories. He wished he cherished them more.

Goodnight, goodnight. I know that it’s hard to do.

He arrived home, waving off his mother and father and going straight to his room. He was greeted by the corkboard that hung on his room. It was filled with memories. Memories that he wished that he was happier in.

Goodnight, goodnight. Close your eyes and you’ll leave this dream.

Goodnight, goodnight. I know that it’s hard to do.

He sat on his bed, face buried in his hands. His shoulders trembling and before he knew it, he was crying.

Goodnight, goodnight. Close your eyes and you’ll leave this dream.

Goodnight, goodnight. I know that it’s hard to do.

“Goodnight y/n. I wish I was there for you more.”

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cattles-bians · 4 years ago

Text

exes au part 11

post directory

obsetress: i'm about to fully fall asleep but i have been thinking about exes au danvi and like the isabel of it all and dani dating a single mom and how just like

obsetress: vi is so protective of isabel and as much as she loves dani like

obsetress: she took SO LONG before introducing her and then like

obsetress: when they broke up dani left and dani wasnt in isabels life anymore and dani was so good for isabel and viola just feels so fuckin shitty and blames herself and

obsetress: but i'm also thinkin bout soft fluffy stuff too like how much dani loves isabel and how much vi loves watching isabel w dani and

em: hey hannah what the fuck

obsetress: isabel has a nightmare one night and goes to her mom's room and dani's there too and she just curls up between them

em: do you think when they finally reconnected dani was like hey um. does isabel remember me. would it be weird if

obsetress: FUCK

obsetress: this absolutely happens

em: viola is VERY apprehensive at first

obsetress: god yeah esp after getting so hurt by it but

obsetress: viola sure cannot say no to dani!

em: i love some dani with kids tho

em: maybe too soft but do u think for at least a couple years dani would like. send isabel a bday card

em: like dead air otherwise

em: hmm idk i am chewing that one over more

obsetress: god it's hard i think dani wants to but she doesn't

obsetress: i could see dani writing them and holding onto them

em: oh that’s even worse

obsetress: even tho she really doesnt think she'll ever talk to vi again

em: what a soft and depressing thought. thank u. i resent u.

obsetress: yeah it hurts!

obsetress: but then she does! and she gives them all to isabel when she's older maybe

em: hold on i’m gonna bawl

em: sometimes my parents will be like um. do u remember this person and i’m like uh i don’t remember people i worked w two years ago let alone

em: but i think isabel does

em: i will be thinking about this all afternoon bestie have a wonderful slumber

[em note: em yells in hannahs DMs while she's asleep dot png]

em: no um. mate im still furious about the isabel of it all wtf

em: thinking about um. like ok i dont wanna use isabel as a prop but this is certainly one of those times where

em: violas been hurt before and viola's hurt other people before because she's deeply troubled and i feel like that would be one of the first times she sorta. sure she licks her wounds and feels miserable for herself but its also like uh

em: really sobering to realise This Hurts Isabel Too

em: because yknow violas very gatekeep gaslight girlboss i think shes got a strong enough sense of self that nothing really shakes that. maybe even to a deluded degree. i dont think she goes to therapy because shes like wow im fucked up i gotta get help, she's more like

em: shes really driven by her love for isabel!! gestures WILDLY

em: realised this is an au where parents get therapy and dont pass their traumas onto their kids and i want OFF this WILD RIDE im so tired of discovering things about myself through the realm of fiction

obsetress: yeah same i kept thinking about it too alfkadlsfkjdasf

obsetress: i want to reply to every single line of the isabel thing but i'm not gonna do that so let me just say: YEAH

obsetress: like isabel is her cornerstone full stop everything comes down to isabel

em: dani's probably so nervous reconnecting w isabel again. absolutely spinning her lil wheels

em: they set up a lil date and time and dani's doing her gay nervous babble abt if isabel even remembers her or god forbid resents her n jamies like...

em: im pursing my lips as i draw a line on the whiteboard between jamie's whole childhood and isabels and shaking my head Goddamn It

em: jamie lets dani babble it out n pauses and reflects on what she's saying n then jamie's like. the fact ur nervous means u care. n kids are v good at picking up when ppl care. you'll be alright.

obsetress: god yeah this bit i can just. hear it

obsetress: it's so visceral

---

em: viola

obsetress: god my favorite taurus hedonist

[em note: hannah yells in em's DMs while em is asleep dot png]

obsetress: god fuck what was i thinking about isabel this morning like

obsetress: that's what i get for daydreamin between snoozes and not writing it down alas

obsetress: but just like how excited isabel is to see dani again when she does and also like, isabel and rebecca

obsetress: then i started thinking about

obsetress: rebecca and vi getting married and vi's always like i'm not gonna get married again it's bullshit and rebecca's like it's not for me but then they just

obsetress: like they live together and they share everything and rebecca looks out for isabel just as much and they get to a point and it's like

obsetress: oh. oh

obsetress: like they're both like it's the logical thing to do. it's logical and it's safe and we should have this extra layer of protection but also it's like

obsetress: they find themselves more and more excited a lil you know? and just thinking about how isabel's there and how excited isabel is and

obsetress: but god yeah what i was thinking about this morning like. one day vi has to tell isabel dani's not gonna be coming around anymore and like

obsetress: isabel doesn't really understand and she's so sad and then vi feels even shittier

obsetress: and she's like "we'll be okay. it's you and me, remember? moving mountains"

obsetress: "you me us, right?"

obsetress: the first time rebecca meets her she brings her a book as a gift and is like "this was one of my favorites" and

obsetress: OH I REMEMBERED

obsetress: so like when dani sees isabel again finally (and yknow as nervous as dani was vi was even more on edge because it's so inconsistent and is she gonna understand yknow? and the two of them just spiral––which is also another thing about the two of them in a relationship! i think they push each other down spirals)

obsetress: jamie's there too and dani's like "this is... this is, uh, jamie" and it's like you said jamie isabel parallels and so jamie's like a lil tender

obsetress: spoiler: isabel and jamie end up bonding the most

obsetress: jamie's like running around with isabel on her shoulders and then showing her all these plants and taking her to gardens and

obsetress: another tentative jamie vi alliance

em: isabel mikey hangout When

obsetress: isabel mikey hangout!

obsetress: they're hanging with isabel and she and jamie have a very spirited discussion where isabel's like "i wanna be a princess" and dani's like "why not a knight?" and jamie's like "why not opt out of the feudalistic hierarchy entirely and ditch the kingdom for the high seas?" and convinces isabel to go full pirate

obsetress: and then isabel kinda passes out with her head in jamie's lap and jamie's just kinda idly playing with her hair (vi is already like "am i... attracted to jamie in this moment?")

obsetress: and jamie's like "y'know, i should bring mikey round next time isabel's here" and viola's like "......who?" and jamie's like "my little brother? mikey?" and viola's like "right.... right"

obsetress: cut to later, when dani and jamie have retired to vi and becca's guest room: "since when does jamie have a little brother?" "she always has, babe"

em: kinda obsessed w like. violas love for isabel means her wires get crossed when the surly gardener is Good With Kids

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: mikey and isabel immediately hit it off i think

obsetress: a bit of an odd couple because i think isabel is definitely, like, her mother's daughter and mikey is............. mikey

obsetress: but i think they meet in the middle and help each other grow and play pirates together

em: viola is like. of course mikey and isabel will get along. isabel is wonderful. but jamie is quietly Sweating about the whole thing

em: so damvibecca are having their afternoon tea and their little cakes and jamie is Quietly sweating and she’s like ‘quiet is good, right? like they’re not tryna k-‘ and then there’s the sound of two 8 year olds (idk how old they are tbh) YELLING as they chase each other down the hall w wrapping paper tubes

obsetress: nervous babbling dani x quietly sweating jamie, an otp

em: isabel has gotten into the make up n given them both black eyes n scars and moustaches n everyone’s like oh no how’s viola gonna feel about this but viola is DELIGHTED

obsetress: dani's like "chill you all she's gonna––" and then viola is getting up and asking them to do her face too

em: made a parrot outta a sock and newspaper

obsetress: viola playing pirates w isabel and mikey

em: kids w their endless creativity n absolute disregard for personal property is truly a thing of dreams

obsetress: mikey gives her a paper tube and she disarms isabel, takes hers, and offers it very seriously to jamie

em: cuteeee

obsetress: rebecca's giving dani a look and dani is completely unfazed and reaching for another tea cake

em: absolutely unflappable dani clayton

em: dani and rebecca sharing a Look like hey have you ever seen her this gleeful

obsetress: there is something very tasty about jamie taylor having a direct hand in making viola so gleeful

em: takes a village!

obsetress: when viola's two big loves are sitting five feet away from them both

em: everyone changes everyone for the better

em: fucken soft ass chat over here

obsetress: everyone changes everyone for the better

obsetress: soft as hell

em: thesis statement everyone likes each other so much (jamie pretends she doesn’t)

obsetress: (jamie pretends she doesn't) (jamie might like everyone the most)

obsetress: viola registers mikey for isabel's school n pays full tuition

em: oh my god

obsetress: jamie is horrified and refuses to accept it and viola waves a hand and is like "too late, deposit's non-refundable"

em: (they carpool)

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: oh god and like

obsetress: flora and miles go there too

obsetress: full circle complete

em: broke: highschool au woke: guardians of primary schoolers au

obsetress: dani jamie in bed jamie's like "you don't...... think it's weird?" "hmm?" "mikey going to.... school with our boss' kids?" "why would that be weird" "i dunno" "he also goes to school with my ex's kid" "he's best friends with your ex's kid" "and that's not weird, is it?" (grumbles) "not anymore" "so why would this be?"

em: jamie’s ribbing mikey for his silly tie and straw hat but she teaches him how to tie a tie and also she keeps crying for some reason???

obsetress: oh fuck

em: mikey: can’t i just get a fake tie >:/

jamie: no because when u have a real tie you can leave it untied a little as an act of rebellion

obsetress: god it's jamie crying for me

em: i love that big baby

obsetress: so much!

em: jamies like idk what’s gotten into me i never cry n danis like. raises one eye brow and mentally checks off all the times jamie has absolutely bawled watching a movie

em: not even a sad movie

em: dani plays along

em: maybe ur getting soft in ur old age jamie

obsetress: jamie i cry three four times a day five if i'm being honest taylor

em: thinking about their weekly weekend lunch w damvibecca and hannah and owen and miles and flora and

obsetress: dfjsldkfjslfslfj

obsetress: god big found family

obsetress: you know viola doesn't like

obsetress: dani and jamie respectfully toe around whatever the fuck owen and hannah have going on but viola just does not suffer it. she's so blunt to them

em: big viola grin and all ‘owen, hannah, i assume you will be each other’s dates?’ (owen chokes on his tiny egg sandwich)

em: hannah grose is serene and unreadable as she dabs a bit off yolk off owens moustache

em: maybe even a bit pleased

obsetress: everyone is always so tense when viola and hannah get together because neither of them take shit yknow

obsetress: and everyone's like "which way is this gonna go"

em: god. peak snarky broads

obsetress: but usually they end up good. two apex predators where one is a lil vicious but the other is so confident in its status that it just chills

em: they have the Best gossip

obsetress: would love to sit in and listen as they drink tea and gossip tbh

em: viola presses owen on hannah and he goes red and viola presses hannah on owen and she does a little wouldnt-you-like-to-know into her tea

em: viola nee willoughby and hannah grose friendship is. truly something i never knew i needed until now

em: they’re both just that lil bit older than the rest of the gang too

obsetress: an important coalition

obsetress: hannah grose! hannah looking out for rebecca and that's the couple times she gets a lil testy w vi

obsetress: mikey and isabel besties but flora and mikey get along really well and isabel and miles do too i think

em: the sheer chaos of a taylor-lloyd-windgrave story time

obsetress: LDKFjKLSDJF HELP

obsetress: taylor lloyd wingrave story time

obsetress: jamie suddenly very invested in story time

obsetress: dani's like "i know this is the first time you've actually cared about story time, babe, so let me give you some pointers"

em: i was just in my head thinking fondly about like. jamie is a drop out and plays a lil dumb sometimes for fun but also prolly reads a lot especially to mikey and now i’m like. wait i’m talking to Ms Floras Two Moms herself

em: idk if i had that headcanon before i read she taught me a lesson alright but yknow what! doesn’t matter it’s a beautiful one

obsetress: thank youuuu i love it a lot

obsetress: jamie big reader is generally one of my fave headcanons tbh i'm glad it seems to be widely accepted. can't even explain why it's just nice

em: sometimes i will talk 2 ppl about my passionate drop out jamie taylor belief n then they’re like but she’s smart (it’s only happened a couple times hahsj) and i’m like these aren’t mutually exclusive!! this is my very biased experience but my friends who do manual labor for a living seem to read so much more than my friends who don’t

em: your brain wants to chew over things while the hands are workin i reckon

obsetress: yes yes yes yes yes

obsetress: i think that's also like (sighs heavily)

obsetress: symptomatic of hegemonic perceptions of the working class

em: i love when u sigh heavily it’s always a fun take

obsetress: i think jamie is v clever and reflective and like if there's one thing i've learned getting older it's

obsetress: smart doesn't matter i think the most insightful most thoughtful people are the most reflective ones

obsetress: like none of it fuckin matters just be a nice person

#in which hannah says hegemonic perceptions of the working class and i pretend its foreshadowing vampire au #the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #LONG one its like #2500 words which is #yknow! some pages #idk what counts as long all writing is witchcraft to meajhfjbnk #ik i should be pacing these a lil better but #i just wanna get up to vibeccas wedding im IMPATIENT

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schrijverr · 4 years ago

Text

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 6 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: brief mention of trauma in regards to water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 6: Garden Daisy Means ‘I Share Your Sentiments’

Alex and Philip played in the park the next day. He pushed Philip on the swings, they tossed a ball back and forth, making Alex feel very stereotypical, so he taught Philip how to make flower crowns from the little daisies in the grass.

Philip was especially excited about making the daisy chains, telling Alex animatedly about making one at school tomorrow: “Yeah, Theo loves flowers, so I’ll make her one, because she is my bestest friend.”

“I’m sure, she’ll appreciate that,” Alex smiled.

“Are you going to make one for Mr. Thomas?” Philip asked.

Alex shook his head: “Probably not, buddy. I don’t think Thomas is much of a flower crown person, but it’s a sweet thought of you.”

“Why?”

“What? I’m going to need more context than that, Pip.”

“Why doesn’t Mr. Thomas want a flower crown?” Philip asked, looking heartbroken about it as he then also asked, “Is a flower crown not a fun gift for your bestest friends?”

“No, no, Pip, it’s a wonderful gift for Theo tomorrow, but are Theo and Thomas really the same?” he tried to do damage control.

Philip thought about it, then said: “No, but they both think my art is the coolest and they like hearing about dinos and Uncle Laf said Mr. Thomas really liked the flowers you gave him and that he was adorable over them, so he must like the flowers. Don’t you think, so Papa?”

“Uncle Laf said what?” Alex was unable to help himself, immediately backtracking, not wanting to involve his kid in that, “Never mind, not important. You make some really good points, Pip,” he had to acknowledge that, but he wasn’t giving Thomas a flower crown.

“I do?” Pip sounded excited about it.

“Yes, you do,” building up self esteem was good, “But Papa is probably not going to do that, because there are no flowers around the office and they will wilt if I make it now,” he wasn’t going to make Philip sad, so hopefully that would be enough.

Philip hummed thoughtfully, then shook off the entire thing: “I suppose you’re right.”

They went home soon after, eating dinner, before Alex read Philip a bedtime story. When Philip had drifted off, he gave him a kiss on the forehead: “Sleep tight, Pip. You’re going places.”

In return Philip snuggled closer into his pillow with a soft sigh. Alex smiled at the sleeping kid, before retreating downstairs, planning to work a bit on his essay about biphobia within the queer community.

He had written a few good paragraphs when his phone buzzed. He picked it up and smiled when he saw it was a message from Thomas: ‘Since you told me that if I wanted to pay so bad, I would have to ask you out and because I said I would, here is me formally asking if you have time next Saturday?

Alex giggled at the wording, before shooting back: ‘dork’

‘me and pip usually hang out on saturdays, but i think hercs free to babysit’

Thomas replied: ‘I was hoping to take you on a picnic, if Philip wants to come and you don’t mind, he’s more than welcome’

That was something Alex hadn’t seen coming. He would love if Thomas and Pip got along and it seemed Thomas was willing to spend time with his son, but he worried that the man had only offered out of guilt.

He took a quick screenshot and send it to Angelic, asking: ‘is this thomas being nice and awkward abt it even though he doesnt mean it?’

After a few seconds, she replied: ‘He wouldn’t lie about shit like that, now reply before he gets anxious about your silence’

‘yes, ma’am’

Alex quickly went back to the chat with Thomas and send: ‘ill ask if he wants to come, but iwould love to take you up on the invitation :D’

‘Good’

‘Talk to you tomorrow?’

‘yeah, see you then’

‘goodnight’

‘Sleep tight, Alex’

Alex sat for a moment smiling dumbly at his phone, looking forwards to tomorrow to see Thomas again as he got up to get ready for bed.

The next day, he quickly put his stuff in his office, before going to the break room, knowing that Thomas would be in soon and meet him there. It always took a few minutes, so Alex busied himself with making coffee, trying not to look at the door.

He was just taking his first sip when Thomas came in. Almost choking he managed to wave as he greeted: “Hi.”

“Hello, be careful there,” Thomas smirked, noticing Alex struggle with the coffee.

“Shove off,” Alex told him, finally swallowing the sip that had betrayed him.

“Nah, don’t wanna,” Thomas shrugged, making himself coffee, “How was your weekend? Did you get terrorized by Lafayette as well?”

“God, he got you too?” Alex asked.

“Naturally,” Thomas replied, “He was at my house first thing in the morning on Saturday, I think he had a notepad.”

“He is such an idiot,” Alex facepalmed.

“You’re telling me,” Thomas laughed.

“But no, my weekend was good,” Alex said after a pause, “I was over at Eliza’s on Saturday, she and Maria were watching Pip and on Sunday me and Pip went to the park. You?”

“Well, on Saturday I hosted Laf, unprepared, but it was alright,” he was not telling Alex he had been draped over the couch, dramatically recounting the entire night like a teenager, “Then on Sunday I read a bit,” and botheredJames about date ideas, which he did not appreciate, before bothering him about what would bea good message to send, which he also didn’t appreciate; he added mentally.

“Are you reading anything interesting?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, I’m reading Frankenstein, just a classic I never got around to,” Thomas answered.

Alex lit up and their conversation went on, discussing the want for bodily autonomy that Mary Shelley as a woman in that era must have had and how that was integrated into the book and how the story of being otheredcould be applied to other minorities today.

The rest of the week sped by like usual. Their lunches together had felt a bit odd at first like it had gained a deeper meaning after the date, but then Thomas had spilled his coffee and Alex had snorted and inhaled a few crumbs, so that had worn off quite quickly.

When Alex had asked Philip if he wanted to come with him and Thomas on a picnic the boy had been beyond excited, which made that easy for Alex.

Now was just the issue of making sure that they had a kite for Pip, the drawing of Mr. Thomas he had made and wanted to give to the man, and sunscreen on as well as a jacket with them, because the weather was mostly good, but there might be winds later on.

Thomas came to pick them up in his car, it was a bit flashy, but the normal amount of flashy for Thomas. Still Alex said: “Hi there, show off.”

“And proud of it,” Thomas just grinned back, before he could say anything more though, Philip came running out of the house, yelling: “Mr. Thomas, Mr. Thomas, do you know how to fly a kite? Will you fly it with me?”

“Wow, calm down, kiddo,” Thomas said to the kid clinging to his waist.

“Sorry, Mr. Thomas.”

“It’s okay, and you can call me Thomas if you want to, you know that, right?”

“But it’s rude to not call people Mister,” Philip frowned.

“Well, it’s okay with me, I am hereby giving you permission to call me Thomas,” Thomas told the kid gently, the whole Mr. Thomas made him feel old.

Philip nodded, then said: “Okay, Uncle Thomas. Do you know how to fly a kite?”

Okay, that was- that was an upgrade that Thomas was unsure of how to deal with, so he just ignored it: “Yeah, I know how to fly a kite. Do you have one?”

“Yes, it’s the bestest one, it gots all the colors of the rainbow on it!” the kid was clearly beyond excited about it.

“Wow, that sounds super awesome, kiddo.”

“What is also super awesome, is car safety,” Alex interrupted them, “I got Pip’s booster seat, do you mind if I put that on the backseat?”

“Of course not, need help?” Thomas answered.

“Nah, I’ve done this before,” Alex grinned.

With Philip’s booster seat firmly in place and the kid buckled in, they got into the car. Thomas holding Alex’s door open with a flourish, making Alex blush as he called him a dork.

“Not a dork, darlin’, just Southern hospitality,” Thomas winked at him, letting his accent coat his words heavily.

And with that he closed Alex’s door and got into the car, driving off in the direction of the nearby park Alex often visited with Pip.

After they arrived Alex got Philip out of the car, while Thomas grabbed Alex’s bag andan actual basket out of the back. When he noticed Alex staring with a raised brow, he shrugged: “You were cliché, so I thought why not.”

“It’s very picturesque.”

“Papa, what is pictuu- pictuu- that word?” Philip asked.

Breaking the eyecontact with Thomas, Alex explained: “Well, sometimes things look just like a picture, they’re put in on purpose to be pretty, like with a drawing. So, we call it picturesque.”

Philip hummed thoughtfully, before he said: “Okay, can I go on the swings?”

“Sure, buddy, but first we go find a spot to sit and maybe eat something, okay?” Alex said, taking Pip’s hand, holding his other out to Thomas with a raised eyebrow.

Thomas took it with a smile, leading them to a spot near the little pond in the park, where a tree provided both shade and an easy marker to find it again if Philip wandered off on his own, which Alex was grateful for.

Out of the basket came a checkered blanket, which made Alex laugh as he and Thomas struggled to lay in down in the wind. But there were also sandwiches, orange juice, brownies, fruit salad and a thermos with coffee.

“Wow, you thought of everything, didn’t you,” Alex whistled.

He got an eye crinkle smile in return as Thomas said: “I try,” before turning to Philip and asking, “What sort of sandwich do you want, kiddo? I got PB and J, ham and cheese and one with chicken and eggplant.”

“May I please have a PB and J sandwich?”

“So, polite,” Thomas commented, handing him the sandwich, “Here you go. Alex?”

“Uhm, can I have one with chicken?”

“Of course, there you are,” Thomas handed him a sandwich, before taking a chicken one as well, nodding a cheers to the others before eating it.

It wasn’t really quiet while they ate, neither Alex nor Philip had a talent for keeping their mouths shut while Thomas was comfortable enough to mix himself into the conversation, either to argue fondly with Alex or to encourage Philip to keep going.

When most of the food was gone, Philip asked: “Can I go on the swings now, Papa?”

Alex checked if the swings were in sight, they were actually quite close and since he was trying to let Pip be more independent, he nodded: “Yeah, just be sure to stay in sight and to come tell me if you’re going somewhere else, okay?”

“Okay, Papa.”

“Can you pinky promise me?” he might be trying to let Pip be more independent, but he still worried about his son.

“Pinky promise,” it was adorable how serious Philip looked while making the pinky promise.

Then Philip skipped off to the swings to play. Alex watched him closely until he got there, then a few moments more just to be sure.

“It’s incredible to see how much you love him,” the comment startled Alex for a moment and he asked: “Wha?”

“Just- you love Philip so much and you can see it every time you two interact,” Thomas explained, “It’s kinda amazing to see. You know, with a big family it wasn’t all that one on one, so seeing how much attention you give him is weird – in the best way of course.”

Alex blushed, no one really every complimented his parenting much, with the trans thing and the single parent and the busy job, most of the PTA moms looked down on him, so it was refreshing to hear: “Oh, uhm, thanks, really means a lot.”

“No problem,” Thomas smiled, “Coffee?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Alex held out his cup and watched it get filled, nodding to Thomas gratefully as he took a sip.

It was quiet for a moment, then a thought popped into Thomas’s head, making him a bit unsure and he asked: “Philip is calling me Uncle Thomas, you okay with that?”

“As long as you are. Pip’s never had a conventional family, I’m not sure he knows exactly what the word is supposed to mean, so he just calls adults he knows well that,” Alex explained, before quickly adding, “If you want him to stop, I can talk to him.”

“Oh, no, I don’t mind – honored, actually – just, you know,checking in.”

“Okay.”

Then it was quiet again. They both stared at the little playground where Philip was now playing tag with a few other kids, obviously done with swinging on the swings.

The sun was out and there were birds in the trees that were chirping, they were sitting on a checkered blanket, nearly completely leaning on one another and Alex was enamored by how picturesque this actually was, even if it had been teasing before.

He remembered Thomas complimenting his date and how relieved and excited that had made him, so he leaned more into Thomas’s side and softly said: “This is pretty amazing, thanks for asking me out again.”

Alex couldn't see it, but Thomas grinned as he replied: “Well, I am glad for inviting you, the company makes it much better.”

“How romantic,” Alex told him, trying, and failing, not to be touched by the comment.

“I try,” Thomas merely replied.

“So,” Alex looked around for something to talk about when he spotted the daisies in the grass and was reminded of his trip to the park with Pip last week, “opinions on flower crowns?”

“What?” Thomas sounded very confused.

He sat up straighter and plucked a few flowers, making a chain and holding it up: “Opinions on flower crowns?”

Thomas laughed for a second, then saw Alex’s face andexclaimed: “Oh my God, you’re being serious.”

Alex laughed too, before schooling his face into a more serious expression: “A trustworthy source told me these are very great gifts.”

“Oh, and who might that source be?” Thomas challenge.

“Well that would be my very own flesh and blood, Philip Hamilton, UncleThomas,” Alex emphasized the title teasingly.

Thomas grinned: “Oh, you should have said so, can’t argue with such an esteemed member of society.”

They both laughed again as Alex plucked more daisies and made a flower crown. It might have been a bit of a joke, but he had never known when to stop and he wasn’t going to start now, so he concentrated on braiding the flowers together while Thomas watched with an amused smile.

“Here, a pretty flower crown, for a pretty boy,” Alex said, handing Thomas the flower crown, taking much delight in how he had a front row seat to a blush blooming over Thomas’s entire face.

Mutely Thomas took the flower crown, mentally trying not to die at Alex’s face and words, which was really hard.

“Well, aren’t you going to put it on?” Alex asked, it was kinda mean to tease at this point, but he couldn't help it when Thomas looked like that.

“Ye- yeah, naturally,” Thomas managed, putting the flower crown on as he regained his bearings, “So, how do I look?” his voice was still a bit squeaky.

“Ah, just like I thought,” Alex smiled, “beautiful.”

“You can’t just say things like that, Alex,” Thomas tried to hide his face.

“Yes, yes, I can. I don’t know if you know this, but I’m kind of known for always speaking my mind and being honest. Can’t help it if it’s true.”

“I hate you.”

“I sure hope that’s not true or this is going to be awkward.”

It was a teasing reply, but both stilled for a moment, before Thomas slowly and softly said: “No, I- I didn’t mean that, you’re- you’re pretty alright.”

“Pretty alright… Hm, I’ll take it,” Alex was smirking, trying to play off the fact that his heart was beating like a marathon runner’s as relief flooded through his veins.

Thomas shoved him over and said: “You’re an idiot.”

“Now that- that I already knew,” Alex grinned, before getting up and looking back to the playground to check in on Philip.

He didn’t have to search much, because the boy was just running their way, yelling: “Papa, Papa, I slayed the dragon.”

“Wow, really buddy? That’s so cool,” Alex caught him as the kid practically tripped into his arms as he gestured wildly while recounting his epic encounter with a dragon and a witch and some fairies who were ‘the coolest, Papa, you should have seen then, they went pow pow and it was so cool.’

Then he spotted Thomas with the flower crown perched on his head and he smiled widely: “Did you give Uncle Thomas a flower crown like I said, Papa?”

“Yeah, I did, Pip. You were right, it was a great gift.”

“I have to agree, you have way better ideas than your Papa,” Thomas budded in.

Philip’s smile widened: “Really? I think so, but Papa is an adult and people always say adults know better.”

“Well, in some instances, adults have more experiences so they can make better decisions, but that doesn’t mean they’re always right,” Thomas said, “Kids can have interesting ideas too. Think of it like painting, experiences are different colors, but you don’t need every color, you can just make a more elaborate picture with more.”

Alex watched as Philip took a moment to think about it, before he nodded in understanding and saying: “So, I may not have all the colors yet, but I can make a good picture?”

“Yeah, exactly,” Thomas was grinning so broadly that Alex was going to loose his mind with how much he adored Thomas and Philip interacting and how fucking cute it was.

Suddenly Philip’s eyes lit up and he said: “Papa, I forgot to give Uncle Thomas his picture.”

“You can give it now, buddy,” Alex told him, reaching over to the bag he brought himself and digging through it.

“My what?” Thomas asked in the background.

“I made you a picture,” Philip was bouncing in place waiting for Alex to find it. When he did, he handed it to Pip, who in turn handed it to Thomas.

“It’s you,” he said, “You’re all purple, because you like purple like me and you have big hair like Uncle Laf and Uncle Herc do, though Uncle Herc’s is smaller and I gave you a book and a laptop ad then I thought planes would be cool, so I added those.”

“Wow, Philip, this is amazing,” Thomas said, “I feel like I should donate it to a museum, but something is missing for that.”

“What?” Philip’s face fell slightly.

“I need it signed, can’t have a masterpiece and forget who made it. What if you get famous? I want to be able to brag that I got an original Philip Hamilton drawing,” he dug around in his pocket and got out the purple pen he used to sign things when he was annoyed at Washington.

Philip took it excitedly, messily scrawling his name at the bottom, before handing it back: “Here, for you.”

“Truly, I’m speechless,” Thomas said, “I’m going to have to frame this.”

“You will?” Philip’s eyes were as big as plates.

“I am a man of my word and I promise,” Thomas told him, holding up a pinky. He had alreadyfigured out that promise meant the most to Philip at this age.

Philip happily interlocked their fingers, before Thomas carefully put the drawing away. Once it was gone, Philip asked: “Can we go kiting now?”

“We first have to put it together if you want to do that, so while I do that why don’t you drink some more juice,” Alex said, already pouring juice in a cup for Pip.

“Thank you, Papa,” Philip started drinking happily.

He struggled with putting the kite together, but luckily Thomas had more experience in putting together kites, citing his big family. So, they had it assembled by the time Philip had finished his juice.

Alex forced Philip to eat a brownie too. It might not be the healthiest, but he wouldn’t let Philip run around on an empty stomach if he could help it.

“I have no clue how to do this,” Alex confessed holding the kite. He had bought it on a whim in the supermarket about twoweeksago. However, he had no childhood memories to draw from on how to do this.

“Fortunately for you, I do,” Thomas said, taking the kite from him, “Here, let me take this.”

Alex gladly gave the task away and watched as Thomas gave Philip the handle of the kite and instructed him on what to do as he threw the kite into the air.

Philip whooped when it stayed up and Thomas cheered as well. Alex took out his phone and sneakily took a picture of the two, before cheering as well.

He flew the kite for half an hour before it went wrong. It was nothing big, just a sudden gust of wind that ripped the kite from Philip’s small hands and carried the kite away from them until it dropped into the water.

They looked at the kite for a second, before Philip turned to Alex with big eyes: “Papa, we have to save the kite.”

Looking at the water, Alex shuddered before he replied: “I’m sorry, Pip, but I can’t retrieve it for you. I think you’re going to have to say goodbye to the kite.”

“I can go get it, please, Papa,” there were tears gathering in Philip’s eyes.

In his mind images of Philip drowning flashed and quite harshly he said: “No!” cringing as Philip startled slightly. In a softer tone, he repeated: “No, Pip. You can’t swim, I’m not letting you in the water, because it’s dangerous and your clothes will get wet.”

“But- but the kite,” Philip argued.

“It was an accident, but we lost the kite,” Alex tried to break the news gently.

They were distracted by Thomas, who said: “I can go get the kite.”

“What?” “Will you do that, Uncle Thomas!”

“No, I can’t ask that of you,” Alex said, “You’ll ruin your clothes and it’s in the water and it might get cold later, it’s too much to ask.”

“I’ll be fine, Alex. Unlike Philip here, I can swim, so it’s fine if I fall. And this isn’t a natural pond anyway,” Thomas explained, “It’s made to trap rainwater so the neighborhood doesn’t get flooded, but because it’s in a kids park, it’s shallower. I don’t think my shorts will get wet.”

“You really don’t have to do this,” Alex pressed again, making sure that Thomas didn’t feel obligated just because Philip would be mildly upset about it.

“I know,” Thomas smiled as he sat down to toe off his shoes and socks.

Before he stepped into the water, he looked at Pip and seriously said: “Can you watch over our spot and your Papa for me while I go rescue the kite?”

Philip nodded, equally serious: “With my life.”

“Good,” Thomas chuckled, then set his first step.

He had been right about the depth of the pond and got to the kite without any difficulties. More onlookers had turned their attention to the water, but Thomas tried to ignore them as he saved the kite.

Returning to the shore he handed it to Philip, who beamed: “Thank you so somuch, Uncle Thomas.”

“No problem, kiddo, though I don’t think we can kite any more with the kite all wet,” he replied.

“That’s okay, I can still swing,” Philip said.

As the kid ran off again to play, Alex turned to Thomas: “Really, thank you, you didn’t have to do it, but thanks.”

“Did you see Philip’s smile? Worth it, really,” Thomas assured him.

Alex smiled, he didn’t think his heart could contain all the affection he had for Thomas in that moment, so he just hugged the man and gave him a peck on the cheek.

Thomas gently touched the spot Alex had kissed before smiling like he was the happiest man on earth, which only made Alex scream more internally.

They returned to their blanket and watched Philip play. After a few minutes of silence, Thomas lightly said: “So, water. Not a fan?”

“Ah, no, not really,” Alex replied, not sure on what to say.

“You don’t have to tell me, just good to keep in mind,” Thomas told him gently.

“Oh, no, it’s okay, just not something I talk about much,” Alex shrugged.

Thomas repeated: “You don’t have to tell me, really.”

“I know,” Alex assured him, “You know how I’m an immigrant, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I come from the Caribbean and uhm- You see, there was this hurricane that hit my island when I was seventeen. It’s- uh, it’s not something I’d recommend living through,” he told Thomas.

“Oh wow, I remember that being on the news,” Thomas felt like he had maneuvered himself into an awkward position. He was bad at comfort, with John he could relate, but here he was way out of his depths.

“It’s okay now, I got over it- mostly,” Alex shrugged, trying to move on, “Just don’t like water or storms that much.”

Thomas nodded, staying quiet. Instead he slung an arm over Alex’s shoulders and let the man snuggle close as he stared off in the direction Philip was in, though Thomas wasn’t sure if he was seeing much, so he kept an eye on the kid just in case.

After a moment, Alex asked: “Do you have one of those brownies left?”

“What? Huh, oh yeah. Here.”

“Thank you, these are amazing.”

“Why thank you, I made them.”

“You did?”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

“I’m not,” a beat, then Alex said, “Well, I am, but it’s more pleasantly surprised than anything else. I didn’t know you baked.”

Thomas was glad for the change in topic and that the atmosphere hadn’t been ruined by his comment. So he replied: “It’s calming, repetitive and you have something nice at the end.”

“Never pegged you to be a stress baker,” Alex commented.

“According to Jemmy it’s one of my more redeeming qualities,” Thomas joked.

Alex laughed: “James is good in pinning people, I’ll take his word.”

“He thought you to be annoying and a dick, so I don’t think you wanna do that,” Thomas raised a brow at him.

“Schematics,” Alex waved his hand, “And in my defense, I was annoying back then, maybe even a bit of a dick, butI just aged like fine wine.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“I thought you were supposed to be on my side.”

“What can I say, I’m a man of many faces.”

“You’re a dork, that’s what you are.”

“Maybe so,” Thomas smirked, before looking over to the playground again. Philip was going down the slide, before running around with another kid. Thomas said: “He looks like he’s having fun.”

“Yeah, yeah, he does,” Alex agreed, snuggling closer into Thomas’s side.

Thomas planted a kiss on the top of his head and Alex was pretty sure he was one day going to melt out of affection.

Philip stopped running for a moment, to turn to them and wave excitedly. Alex waved back and so did Thomas. Alex couldn't stop the smile on his face, this was nice, so much nicer than he ever thought he was going to get after John’s death.

He send a quick look to the sky, slightly wistful, before fully draping himself over Thomas, earning a not-that-offended offended squawk that he ignored in favor of draping even more until Thomas gave in and let them both topple over.

Alex vowed that he was going to try to hold on to this for as long as possible.

I am not a parent btw, I feel like I should have stated that early, also don’t take this fic as parenting advise. I try to write Good Parent!Alex, but that doesn’t mean it will be entirely, bc, again, no experience in this field.

Btw, Philip not understanding Uncle and Auntie and being over at the other’s houses so much is a concept I love, bc it’s a very queer way to raise a kid. Sure, Alex is his primary care giver and dad and stuff, but a village raises a kid and- ugh, I love found family dynamics.

Also this is getting incredibly fluffy, I was worried this was going to be too dark for me with my other fics, but no within a few chapters the angst has made place for this. Love that for me *gay peace sign*

#RR writing #tw: trauma mention #Hamilton #Hamilton AU #alexander hamilton #thomas jefferson #philip hamilton #Jamilton #'Till Death Do Us Part #'Till Death Do Us Part Part 6 #'Till Death Do Us Part AU

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qui-02 · 4 years ago

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hiii im backkkkkkkkkkk

i just wanna say i love ur writing so much

also can i request an oikawa and suga x f!reader (separately) with a songwriter gf? she would write songs for them and then the team doesnt know that she sing and write songs and there was some kind of talent show for the school and she performed and the teams like 🙀

thank u very much -hugs-

💖💖💖💖

Ok firstly 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank you I am glad that you like my writing!! Thx for requesting I think this is my first HQ request but I am very excited about it!! Anyways hope you like it! Also sry for the wait I had a big ass Spanish test.

You sang sunkissed in the talent show Bc I mean Suga is the sweetest bf ever like he shows you so much love that you can’t help to fall for him even more!

Thinks you have a very very nice hobby.

He will keep your secret since you don’t want everyone to know.

He loves your voice he thinks you have a very angelic voice

Loves when you sing while cuddling, it helps him fall asleep.

When you studie together likes when you start mumbling random lyrics.

When he is stressed he likes to hear your voice.

Has maybe recorded you singing secretly but he will never admit.

Supportive boyfriend right here.

Misses your voice when he has to leave for volleyball stuff.

Feels honored to be your inspiration for your music.

When he saw you standing on the stage ready to sing he was shocked.

No wonder he couldn’t find you.

You start singing and he tells himself “I am so lucky”

Want to cry of happiness he never thought someone would write a song about him.

The team just stares at suga happily knowing that you really love him

Tanaka and Noya are extremely jealous.

Kiyoko and Yachi rooting for you.

Hinata is just amazed thinks you are so cool and kags was just like what?

Yamaguchi is just smiling and tsukki likes your song.

After the song everyone gives you a big round of applause!

Suga runs and finds you to give you the biggest bear hug and gives you so much kisses.

Compliments you and your music so much! He really loves you!

You sang to Oikawa Sofia! I thought abt this song Bc the fan girls are all over him a and Bc he takes a lot of time for volleyball so the whole thing is a tad complicated.

Likes how hard you work on your songs.

He likes to sing with you.

Thinks your voice is the most beautiful thing ever (apart from him ofc)

He thinks you look so pretty when you sing.

Tells you to write more abt him since he is just marvelous and beautiful.

You write a song abt his flat ass you will never tell him though.

Misses you a hell lot when he is away.

That’s why he has recorded you singing.

Brags to the whole team about you.

He really has a lot to say about you since you understand him so well.

Iwa-Chan gets annoyed.

Fan girls want to destroy your life.

You complain to the tall brunette so he go’s and brag about you in front of them sometimes he gets carried away and flirts with them but you love him after all.

Want you to participate in the talent show but you say no wanting it to be a surprise for him.

When in the talent show he spots you... on stage?

Tells Iwa-Chan that you are going to sing something for him! Iwa had to shut him up.

You start singing and he fell in love with you all over again.

You looks so mesmerizing on stage!

The team is just so happy for their captain! He finally found someone who truly loves him.

Fan girls realize that you are the heather in the school.... they still hate you though.

After that he is yelling so much Bc you did such a good job!

Spins you around and kisses you so much and hugs and more hugs.

The team now understands why he talks so much abt you, you are an amazing musician!

He made a promise that day that he will never let you go.

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lilyhoshikawa · 4 years ago

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🎥🎶💕🏳‍🌈💎 for hunters perhaps? >:3c

Oh golly! Ok fndkfnfn let me do this then. This may be difficult-

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

This is hard bc I have a lot of scenes I like and good scenes keep happening dhdjfn.

There are a lot of stand-outs so far. Among them is definitely like, the confrontation in the car between Blake and Sakio, and the recent social link scene with Blake and Lena on the boat.

Scenes that DON’T involve my own character that I adore include. The scene with Sakio and Camellia at the graveyard. The scene with with Lena and Twitch outside the store. The Sammy’s scene where they read Tango’s letter. Also the scene with Sammy and Masumi bc it was just extremely funny.

🎶: If your hyperfixation has songs / an OST, what is your favorite song from it?

Hm. Well time once again to advertise my Blake playlist, which I’m constantly putting a lot of work and thought into tbh dhjddb, I’ve deleted a fair number of songs from it when I feel they don’t fit, and I’m constantly messing with the order of the songs in relation to Blake’s prospective characters arc, and adding more as I find them fndkfnf I’m always on the lookout.

Also, vane is constantly updating the official playlist with some real bangers, and I appreciate that. Amil’s and Twitch’s themes are real good.

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Everybody has really really good characters, heck. One thing that strikes me is that even with taking the backseat and having to be on autopilot for several sessions, Camellia still has such a strong and distinct personality, to the point where everyone is on the same page abt them, and I think that’s just really amazing dhdjfjf, that’s how strong an impression they make every time they’re around.

Lena is also so good, she’s like… I think abt her frequently. Sometimes I just start giggling when I think abt Lena, bc she is a national treasure, and I hope she knows I care abt her. She’s great in this way that she’s both very funny/cute and also has a lot of depth and nuance to her arc, and I’m so excited for more.

In the same vein, Sammy. No one character has made me go from giggling to sobbing as fast as this green goat. One moment Sammy is making their cat do a little greeting and I’m rolling on the floor from the cuteness, and then the next second they’re crying and saying they don’t want to be left behind, and then I am also crying. How do they do it. The absolute range.

I also really appreciate Ilse like, particularly in contrast to Blake sometimes, in that Ilse is very smart in a way that’s quiet, self-conscious and careful, while Blake is at times recklessly arrogant, and those two bounce off each other well. Ilse feels mature at times but every time they quietly like, try to be the bigger person, or to not make a problem of themselves, I wanna give them a hug and be like “u deserve to be recognized and acknowledged and u deserve better” dhdjdndjdn. When u have big personalities like Sakio and Lena and Blake in the party there’s something compelling abt Ilse being with them and not asserting themselves as they try to do their best, if that makes sense, and I want them to know I see and appreciate them.

Sakio is also so good and I’ve talked abt this to vane plenty before but holy shit. There’s so much obvious care and love and effort and skill that went into writing a character who is both wrong in many ways, and who many player characters antagonize for good reason, and yet still so incredibly sympathetic, so likable and so compelling. The fact that both Blake and Lena have this relationship with Sakio where they don’t like or trust her, necessarily, but also can’t deal with her not being there, is so fucking good, it creates such powerful conflict in the smallest of ways. Sakio is great bc I love her and I understand her and I appreciate her, but I also wanna yell at her and think she is absolutely horribly wrong about incredibly crucial things and u can FEEL that turmoil in her as well, with her knowing on some level that her actions are going to cause harm, and she’s just waiting and hoping to take the fall, thinking, maybe foolishly, that she can, and that doing so will save everyone else.

I also fucking love so many minor characters we haven’t seen much of so far. I absolutely love Bee and I’ve told vane abt this but she’s just a total icon. Theo is also great, he is the only valid he/him in the entire campaign djdkfj. I love Twitch as well and I’m very excited for some of the interesting stuff in Twitch’s arc that has been hinted at coming to fruition later on, that’s very exciting. I’m also very excited to learn more abt Amil’s whole deal, I appreciate them a lot and I feel bad every time I have to make Blake come pester them fndkfnf. Oh also Prim, how did I forget Prim… what’s going on with her, I have no idea, but she’s a mean lady and my love for mean ladies is well-documented. Also her look is iconic. Also also Puck, the fact that he’s a child and I didn’t know it for several months shocked me to my core but it has made his brand of Shakespearean mischief that much more endearing, and now I seek only to give him snacks and let him sit in his funny garbage throne. I forgot abt Puck earlier so I’ll say he is the second valid he/him in the campaign but frankly I think Puck should take some neopronouns for a spin, he deserves it.

🏳️‍🌈: Do you have any headcanons (LGBT, race, neuro, etc.) that are important to you?

(*throws neurological disorders at Blake*) jdkdnfkf no but jokes aside. I love that this party is like, 5 player characters, 4 of whom use they/them. Just. The raw power of a persona series written by LGBT+ ppl…

I can’t speak on other ppl’s characters too much but as for Blake, they’re a closeted transfem and also too much of a disaster for a coherent sexuality but probably bi. Autistic, and an abuse survivor who experiences paranoid delusions and self-destructive tendencies. Probably more, but specifics are messy, they’re a fucking mess, what’s going on with them, they don’t even know.

Masumi is a binary trans lesbian, also an abuse survivor and manages quite a bit of paranoia of her own, dealing with mood swings and occasional delusions of grandeur, most of it she keeps internally managed which isn’t great for her mental health.

💎: Are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

Blake’s original characterization was thought up prior to the campaign and was very different from their finished characterization. They lived on a farm with their parents and were pretty quiet and passive before being arrested for a murder they didn’t commit (this part is the same) and their personality was way more quiet, reserved and passive, with the whole celebrity aspect completely absent. They were still going to be the sort of clever leader type character but leaned far more into the background. Their design was also different, with their hair in a low ponytail rather than high and scars on their face from scrapes and accidents working on the farm.

I realized that, even though this character was more of an original idea than Masumi (who I was playing in another campaign at the time and who was characterized somewhat differently as well) I didn’t find myself excited to write them, couldn’t get invested in them in the same way, and as I kept workshopping them I decided to be more self-indulgent and lean more into shamelessly making them an Akechi expy in more ways.

And what resulted from that, ironically, is what I feel is a better character in the end. Blake feels more dynamic, lively and interesting now than the old iteration I first thought up, back when I was intent on making them My Own Creation with their own arc. At this point I’m comfortable saying that Blake, for all their similarities to Akechi, has evolved over the course of the campaign into a more interesting character, into someone I recognize as distinctly different and who stands out. They feel unique to me, and feel like my own character. And I think that only could’ve happened through playing them in a TTRPG like this, in developing them along with others, and having to adapt, and I think that’s the beautiful thing about developing characters with other people. The Blake I’ve ended up with is one I’m really happy with, who I feel is more interesting and dynamic to me than if I had just tried to force something unique just to not feel cringe about making an expy. And maybe I need to learn that lesson before I go through the same thing with Zee fjdkfnf.

#meme response #myosotis horizon #rambles #the hunters

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