#sometimes i wanna find her
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gonna add a new emotion in my bullet journal key and call it wet anger
#xenon screams#someone's inability to tale a fucking hint is why i have avpd now#well i shouldn't phrase it like that#she knew I didn't like her#she told me she knew i hated her#she permanently ruined my social skills and then moved away#she's probably living a normal life right now#i haven't been able to make and keep a single friend after i met her#imagine being do annoying you give someone a lifelong mental illness#vent#my life would have been so much better if she had just died before we started 5th grade#that sounds mean but i never felt homicidal in my life before i met her#imagine teaching a ten year old the true meaning of hate and then leaving him to deal with that#sometimes i wanna find her#but i know that would be a bad idea#i'm just glad i never have to talk to her again#if i do meet her again it is on sight
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ERMM.... trollsona posting.... Firefly my absolute beloved. She is me fr. Cant believe I haven't shared her here yet
#trolls oc#trolls band together#trollsona#rainyart#dreamworks trolls#trolls#errr..... thats all i wanna tag todayHAHDJXHAH#I mostly just post here for myself :3 interactions are a fun bonus#UGH theyre playing my least favorite song in the lobby of the optometrist#anyways i still wanna put together a little compilation of my folk troll headcanons like different subgenre tribes and where they live#and different features they have and the culture around their antlers/horns/buggy wings#also fun fact i didnt like the name Rainy for them so when i was finding replacements#i found firefly and i was like WAIT.... i can make her braid glowy sometimes like a firefly and i still did a poll but yeah that cinched it#other contenders were River‚ Sparrow‚ and Spider!#enough yapping HIT POST
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 4 ]
{☆} characters arlecchino, furina, lyney {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 3.7k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]
Fontaine was bathed in darkness, not even the moon daring to illuminate where the common man fears to walk. The streets were bleak and empty save for the constant, rhythmic ticking and clanking of machines marching on endlessly, dauntlessly wading where even the bravest dared not to venture. Not even the sharp click of the Gardes boots followed the occasional hisses of steam as they walked the barren streets.
It was haunting, and it'd been like that for days now. It showed little signs of stalling in the slightest, too. Every inch of Fontaine was practically crawling with Gardemeks– like a swarm of rats skittering about.
Arlecchino had secluded herself in the Hotel Bouffes d'ete for days at this point, waiting– biding her time. Her nails clicked against the wood as she tapped at the table in a stilted rhythm, the subtle click of the clock mixing into the clanking outside, weaving in and out of earshot as the patrols slipped by. She reached forward after a moment of thought, reaching for the white king.
She leaned back against the chaise, tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of a patrol of Gardemeks as they vanished behind the rows and rows of buildings. It wasn't enough to keep her attention for long, however, her features twisting in disinterest as she glanced back to the chessboard– and the letter neatly resting beside it. The seal was unmistakable and a sobering sight, demanding her attention– the soft hues of blue etched into the shape of a dragon stared back at her in a way that almost unsettled her.
She had already parsed through it's contents hundreds of times, but she was met with only vague, flowing script that only served to irritate her more then anything– it filled the page top to bottom yet managed to say nothing at all. Her hand reached out again, but instead of reaching for the letter she plucked the black rook from the board, setting it down with a soft click.
Arlecchino had all the time in the world to sit back and observe her prey, but all that time would be useless if she lacked the information to act.
And he was quite tight fisted about it, evidentially. None of her inquiries or attempts to decipher any potential codes in the letter left her empty handed. She could not act without even knowing the reason for his summons– it was almost worded like a personal affair rather then one would expect for a foreign diplomat. In truth, she'd expected a scalding report on her operatives, but it lacked any mention of anything of the sort.
She was no stranger to people masking hostility behind pretty words and compliments, not that it was ever unwarranted per se– the Fatui did not create connections through honesty and genuine kindness. They have strong armed more then their fair share of people into cooperation to the point distrust is all the Fatui are met with outside of Snezhnaya. Every word was meant to conceal the deceit, every action meant to conceal the price later paid.
So she had been..skeptical of the letter, to put it lightly. She doubted the Iudex of all people would offer a hand to the Fatui without a price attached– a trap, perhaps, meant to lure in the most powerful piece left on the board. Her eyes narrowed, reaching for a white rook and moving it to the right.
Or he was hiding something. Something that he simply couldn't risk getting out to anyone, not even the Divine themself. A tempting prize, whatever it was.
..A dangerous prize, too.
She'd considered burning the letter and forgetting it all together– the risk was great, and she couldn't risk getting caught up by whoever else the Iudex may have on his side of the board. But she could hardly pass up the challenge and the prize that he fought so hard to keep from prying eyes and ears. Even her agents came back empty handed each time. She lazily picked up a black rook, sliding the white pawn aside.
"Lyney," Arlecchino drawled, crossing one leg over the other and turning her gaze to the door as it slowly creaked open. The pale visage of Lyney stepped through, though his siblings were noticeably absent. The weariness that weighed down on his shoulders was apparent in the slightest furrow of his brows and the subtle creak of leather as he clenched his fists behind his back. "Father." He choked out, the title dragged out by the sharp inhale and shaky exhale.
He looked out of breath, she noted.
The silence that lingered after the small exchange was punctuated only by the click of another chess piece being moved. She sets aside the black rook, letting it sit among the dozen other pieces that had been wiped off the board. She can see the conviction glinting beneath the fog of exhaustion, but if he would utilize it was another matter all together.
He had seemed to make his choice quickly, at the very least.
"Our contacts and operatives within the Fortress of Meropide have gone silent– all we have is their final confirmed missive.." His voice is confident, but it is rigid as the words spill from his lips. He takes a sharp step forward, unfolding his arms from behind his back and opening his hands– the small, water stained and messily folded note catches her eye, plucking it from his palms with a half hearted interest. "They believe the Duke left the Fortress of Meropide..and that he may be coming to the Court of Fontaine."
Her eyes narrow dangerously, nearly crumpling the thin paper in her hands– yet just as quickly, she collects herself.
But she cannot get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue, lingering as she sets down the note and slides it to the side, her lips pursed into a thin line.
So the Iudex had shown one of his pieces..she tightly grasps a black rook, tipping over the white rook, letting it roll against the board.
If the Duke was involved, things were much more complicated then she expected– he would be a problem, she was certain. She couldn't blame the lamb for fearing the wolf, either. Whether her agents had been killed or captured by the man mattered little. He had his ways, and he was a force that could instill fear in even them.
Which meant the possibility that her operation was already compromised was far too real.
What had the Iudex so concerned he had gone through the trouble of bringing in the Duke and herself? The Fatui was one thing, but to specifically request one of it's Harbingers..
The Prophecy? The thought had her clenching her fist, but..no. If it were to rear it's head now, the Iudex could simply not afford to waste time on his contacts deciphering his nonsensical script– If the prophecy were to be the issue, there time would be limited to mere minutes in the worst of cases. Which meant it was worth biding his time in order to ensure absolute secrecy.
So if not the prophecy, then what?
Her next moves were..limited. She was already walking on eggshells considering her position and the reputations of the Fatui– especially with a Harbinger in the midst. If they caught wind of her operations, they'd weed out her operatives and be on guards for any snakes that lingered in their garden.
She reached for the chessboard again, picking up one of the white rooks from the board with a scowl. The sharp click as she sets down the white rook and sets aside the black pawn draws a shaky inhale from Lyney as she moves another black pawn, the dull click of the pieces drowning out the distant clinking of machines.
..A draw, perhaps.
The pieces were all falling into place– the players of this game were slowly being revealed. Whether she could secure her victory..she was unsure.
She wasn't even sure who her opponent was. Only that the Iudex himself was but another piece in their game.
Arlecchino reached for the board again, yet this time she hesitated. Perhaps she could still swipe the win from beneath them, if she played her cards right.
She would simply have to capture the king– or, if need be, let it end on a draw. Either way, she would not concede. She could not afford to concede. Down to the last piece, she would drag out this match until she was in a position to force their hand into the outcome she desired.
She stood slowly, picking up the king piece and observing it for only the briefest of moments before she set it down on the table, taking measured steps around the table and across the room. She was hunting a much more dangerous quarry today– it would be no simple runaway traitor this time.
"Do you remember the directive?" She inquired coldly, her hand lingering on the door for that long, tense moment. "..Yes, Father." Lyney faltered, taking a hesitant step back and bowing at the waist. "Then do not stray."
All that was left was the silence and click of the door shutting behind her as she disappeared down the hall, her boots clicking harshly against the floorboards. The rest of the agents knew better then to linger in her path as she stepped down into the lobby, adjusting the cuffs of her sleeves. She barely even acknowledged the Fatui agent standing at the ready by the heavyset doors, their gloves hands held out with her cloak held loosely in their palms. She quickly snagged it from them, tugging it over her board shoulders and clasping it around her throat.
With a quick tug, she brought the hood up over her head to conceal her sharp features, lifting her hand and placing a neatly folded note within their waiting hands. She had only one chance to make the right moves and secure her victory– no matter the cost.
Each piece had it's purpose.
Oft, that purpose was a bloody and horrible end– but for the grand goal of the Fatui built on the backs of the dead, it was an honor.
She didn't bother speaking a word as she dismissed them with a wave of her hand, pushing open the heavyset doors and stepping out into the barren, damp streets. The rhythmic clink and whir of Gardemeks was still distant– she needed to move. Her boots clicked and splashed in the rain soaked stone of the streets as she slithered between the buildings, ducking through the openings in the patrols.
It was almost too easy.
She tilted her head back, taking in the towering Palais Mermonia with a scowl, her hands clenched into fists. The final moves were being played– the king was within her reach, yet she felt no more confident then when she began.
The air carried a sense of unease, thick and heavy, filling her lungs until she felt her breath still in her chest– listening to the empty, bleak night that seemed so..quiet.
She'd done her fair share of research, had more then her fair share of her agents try to peer into the Iudex's office or the Archon's supposedly hidden chambers, but every attempt was a failure. She had to give them credit, they were quite elusive when they wished to be. Though now she only thought about it bitterly– this was all a risky gamble, in the end, and only time would tell if it paid off.
With minimal effort, she'd managed to pull herself to the flat, tiled roof, eyeing the massive tower peaking out of the center cautiously. At least here the wandering patrols down below weren't likely to notice her..she could hear them passing by the spot she'd been in only a few minutes ago, just beneath her. She pulled the hood further over her face, peering through the sheer darkness of the night for any oddities, but it was almost impossible to see in the dark.
Her boots clicked softly against the tiles as she approached the tower jutting out from the Palais, her hand gliding along the smooth stone, pressing against odd indents or crevices. If it was for the Archon's chambers, she doubted they made it very difficult– she'd only met the woman once, but she doubted the Iudex make it all that complex just from a brief glance. And it surprised her little when one of the stones sunk into the wall, gears whirring as the walls split open to reveal a stairwell straight into an inky black hall. Only the barest hint of light peaked under the door at the bottom, but it's occupants must have heard her, considering it went out not a moment later.
She cautiously stepped down into the small crevice, her breath visible in the bitter cold air– her shoulders tensed at the subtle sound of muffled footsteps behind the door, her vision flaring with a molten heat between her shoulder blades as she reached for the worn handle of the door. The heat of her vision was enough to just barely heat the metal, her vision flaring like a quickly building inferno.
Arlecchino was prepared for a fight, if it came down to it.
The door creaked as she pressed against it, shoving it open with a grunt of effort and surveying the room with narrowed eyes and a biting remark on the tip of her tongue– the lavish opulence was expected, she supposed, but the lack of the towering figure of the Iudex was not.
Yet before she could get a word in or even take in her surroundings properly, the light flickered back on and she had to squeeze her eyes shut with a hiss at the sudden brightness. She could hear the door being shoved closed behind her, the hurried footsteps retreating just as quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light.
..This was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be.
She'd expected the Iudex, perhaps even the Duke if she'd been unlucky, not the Hydro Archon. She had half the mind to test her worth as an Archon then and there, her temper flaring like an uncontrollable blaze, barely kept at bay. It took all her self control to force herself to smile politely at the woman rather then snarl.
"Miss Furina," She sneered beneath her hood, x shaped pupils locked onto the startled, trembling Archon with thinly veiled contempt. "What a..pleasant surprise. You'll have to forgive my manners, I assumed I was meeting with the Iudex." She observed her body language carefully– the way her eyes darted about like a frightened rabbit seeking escape, the slightest tremble of her lips..
Arlecchino opened her mouth to offer another scathing remark, but her jaw audibly clicked shut as her entire body seemed to lock up. Even her vision went cold against her back, a chilling feeling creeping up her spine as someone, or something, crept up behind her. Their footsteps were almost silent, the slight rustling of their clothes the only thing she could hear over her heart pounding against her ribcage.
Arlecchino had always prided herself on being on the other end of that sensation– she was the monster, and her target was the prey frozen like a deer between the hunters crosshair.
It was a chilling feeling to have the dynamic shifted on it's head.
She couldn't even swallow, her jaw clenched so hard she could hear it creak as she tried to reason with her quickly splintering mind– a futile effort, her joints locking up almost painfully. Black spots were quickly swallowing her vision from the lack of air in her lungs, the sound of shuffling behind her barely audible over the ringing in her ears.
For a moment – a moment too long to have only lasted the seconds that it did, yet so quick it gave her whiplash – she thought she would hit the floor dead before she could even glimpse her assailant.
And then it was gone. She came crashing back into reality with a startled inhale, her lungs burning and her knees nearly buckling under her. The instinct to lash out and kill whoever had done it was intense, yet she couldn't bring herself to move even a finger– it would be so easy to twist around and ignite them with searing flames, but her feet were rooted in place.
She almost didn't notice the surprisingly gentle hands unclasping her cloak, tugging it off her shoulders, if not for the sheer intensity of the presence still lingering behind her. Her mind was still fractured, struggling to right itself after the ordeal, and it had her seething.
"..Are you certain you held back enough?" Furina croaked, the normally soft lilt raspy and almost hoarse. "Not– not that I doubt your capability, most Divine!"
Arlecchino felt her nails dig harshly into her palms, heat swelling beneath her skin– Divine? Had she lost her mind? The Divine was..
The Divine was upon their throne where they belonged. She'd seen them!
"Hm. Well, maybe? Sorry, I didn't think it'd affect you too." Their voice was sickeningly soft as they stepped around her like she wasn't even there, focusing their attention on the Archon who seemed more then delighted about it. "What gave you that impression, most Divine? Aha, I..was completely unaffected, as you can see! Perfectly fine."
Furina let out a small squeak when they pinched her cheek, but the almost affectionate smile that tugged at their lips revealed the lack of malice behind the action.
"You're a bad liar, Furina. You might want to sit down..please?" They didn't take her protests for an answer, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before abruptly turning to face Arlecchino once more, a forced smile on their lips. "Oh, good, you're..uh, not dead. That's good. I thought I fried your brain. Sorry?"
..Had she hit her head on the way here? The Divine should still be on their throne, yet she couldn't shake the weight of their stare– it felt tangible. She felt like she was standing face to face with the stars– galaxies and constellations bearing down upon her.
She grit her teeth and clenched her hands until she felt the sting of her nails against her palms, grounding herself in the pain through the sheer overwhelming nature of their existence.
"You.." She croaks, reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, lifting them up until their feet left the floor– she pays no mind to the startled protests of the Archon. Arlecchino would crush her like a bug before she even got the chance to intervene and they both knew it. "You shouldn't exist– you aren't them, and yet you..you're the imposter, aren't you?" Her grip tightens yet they face her without an ounce of fear, meeting her unyielding glare with a pondering look.
Arlecchino wanted to make them bleed just to see if she could, the urge to sink her teeth into skin welling up in her chest to the point she visibly snarled, her mask of politeness long . "You're the imposter." Her expression falls for a moment before she schools it into one of apathy, setting them back down and holding them there for a moment, finally releasing them after a tense moment. "Or you were supposed to be."
Hers brows furrow– she wants to demand answers, to throttle them for damning them to being nothing more then dolls for the supposed Divine to break at their whim, but none of the words come to her.
"..Why now? The current Divine has been in power for years, yet you descend now?" Her shoulders tensed, lips pursed into a thin line– it's impossible to ignore the truth that lay before her. The Divine is a fraud and this..imposter is the true Divine. How many years had they been in power, now? How many years were they waiting? Why did they wait? Was the suffering of Teyvat not enough? Was the blood that painted the steps of their stolen throne not enough?
She'd personally been on the wrong end of the Divine's wrath– she wonders..had they watched? Had they seen the cruel hand of their imposter and turned their back on Teyvat?
"I.." They hesitated. It made her seethe, her hands clenching into fists at her sides– her vision flickered, flames swelling within it's casing just to be smothered by the presence of the Divine. But once that spark had been lit, she refused to let it go out. "I didn't know."
The answer does not satisfy her. There is an itch beneath her skin that she cannot scratch, a fire that burns in her chest so hot it scorches even herself.
"And what about now? Are you content to cower like prey in the safety of the Palais Mermonia?" She snapped, taking a step forward, her brows furrowed and her glare intense– she can see the slightest bit of worry in their eyes. She revels in it. "Will you let them use your acolytes like pawns? How many more need to be broken on the steps to your throne before you act?"
Again, her vision flares and dims– it refuses to be used against the Divine that created it.
"Have you no answer?"
The room is silent. They do not speak and neither does she.
Even the world itself seems to quiet in the face of her accusations, fury boiling to the surface so hot it incinerated all it touched.
"I will kill them myself."
Their words are quiet, but they are not soft– there is a vindictive, searing anger that explodes out like dying stars within their eyes. The sight of constellations replaced by a void that would not be . The smell of ichor grows stronger– to the point she feels almost lightheaded.
"..I am aware that I have failed in preventing this, but I had no choice in the matter. Still," They muse, their voice like the tolling of bells. A solemn melody that stills the swelling fury burning in her chest, if only for a moment. "I will rectify it– I will tear down their throne of lies and let not even the earth tarnish itself by burying their corpse among it's soil."
They pause for a moment, holding out their hand– scarred and bandaged by the weapons of the devout, yet still they take upon the burden of dirtying their hands to save those who did not save them.
"Do you trust me, Arlecchino?"
Did she?
"Will you help me?"
She exhales heavily, meeting the starry iris' of the Divine with a scowl still tugging at her lips. Arlecchino trusted no one but herself.
"..Yes."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#imposter au#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#arlecchino#lyney#furina#you do NOT wanna know what i got put thru writing this fic#trying 2 find out where arle was in the few times we DO see her and going down a rabbit hole of fuck fontaine and its layout actually!#I spent like 3 hours looking it up and checking in game it gives me a migraine thinking abt it. ew#anyway trying to write a really smart character is surprisingly difficult when ur as dumb as rocks#also used an actual chess match for this and gave myself an even worse migraine trying 2 make sure i didnt repeat moves or smth#furina doesnt get a spotlight yet just imagine her sitting in the corner trembling like a wet kitten you found on the side of the road#arlecchino goes thru a crisis more at 11#shes a tired single dad shes isnt getting paid enough for this okay#hands u a fic over half the length of the other THREE PARTS#ehe :]#is arle actually on ur side??? is she gonna double cross u???? who knows!!!!!#shes unpredictable she might stab u for funsies#anyway im gonna go nap in a ditch now this took SO LONGGGGG OH MY G-D#also just think acolytes who arent buddy buddy w reader and even resent them is so tasty#bc how r they supposed 2 know reader was a human vibing 5 minutes before their got eebied 2 teyvat..#reader gotta roll up their sleeves and get 2 WORK sometimes murder IS okay#they gotta fix some shit around here and that means committing several crimes all at once. sometimes more#a group can be g-d (just got here) their dragon (neuvi) their cat (archon) their dog (wrio) and their wolf (arle)
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Updates on me! Still doing alright and still trying to figure out a new tablet I'd like. Haven't even found time to doodle much between all the running around I'm doing but still! I'll hopefully be able to draw again soon! Here, have a recent messy trad doodle I did for someone!
Also been going golfing! Okay maybe I'm not the one golfing, but im keeping scores while driving the golf cart! Definitely super good at score keeping and don't get distracted at all!
#my art#sketches#just rambling#WAVING AT YALL!#Im not used to being so busy but its been nice to be up and around!#even started going to the gym!#its been a blast!#im doing well even if Im not able to draw much#i miss art tho#i wanna draw Wally again sometime#or even doodle Gangle! Gangle beloved I love her augh#Shit some sun and moon doodles sound fun rn#oh but i digress! Im doing very well still!!! hopefully will find a balance eventually where I can run around and still draw#I really need a portable tablet. ipad mayhaps. i found a wacom one i was looking at too
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just saw there's going to be a magneto x rogue thing in savage lands and i'm ready to kms with that because wtf this shipp or whatever this is, it's gross af 😐
another reason why i have to throw hands with 97 thems the reason why people even remember this pairing
#snap chats#im so sorry to the few fans of this ship that might follow me vjELVKEJVLAJ#i legit wouldnt even mind if it wasnt such a Who Asked For This pairing#like i do not mind if erik or charles get paired with others like i do have a soft spot for charles + lilandra or even moira sometimes#xmen 92 got me cackling at him getting divorced before the wedding but they were sweet in the proteus episodes ..#like maybe im just close minded and yaoipilled but i cant find the appeal with erik and rogue specifically#i mena i always like erik or charles being able to help other mutants cope with their mutations and the loneliness that comes with it#i love that !!! if thats what was going on from a mentor perspective thatd be neat#but its not not them two ..... every time i see that pairing i wanna spritz erik with a spray bottle it turns me into a hater#i should spritz the writers but oh well .... he's getting the lemon-juice-in-a-bottle treatment GET AWAY FROM HER#also rogue and gambit is peak idk why youd want it any other way ..... but w/e rock on i suppose ... no ones dying ig#just me internally but we live on externally
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something that is like the baseline of amys entire character to me is that shes lonely. shes clingy and physically affectionate in a way none of her friends really are, shes always getting pushed aside and left behind. yeah, she helps out people she doesnt know because shes a nice person, but also, she sees part of herself in them. she wont leave someone else behind because she knows the feeling —and more importantly, hates the feeling. if she doesnt have somebody to stand by her and be there for her, then shes going to be that person for everybody else. something something her obsession with sonic is really just like a manifestation of that desire for closeness with someone, and she thinks that romance is the only way to get that. idk... this hedgehog can have so many abandonment issues.
#me posts#amy rose#sth#sonic the hedgehog#and this is not to say at all that romance is the only way to have 'real' love or anything#just that yknow part of her breaking free of that would also be realizing that she just wants closeness with someone and it doesnt-#-have to be romantic#aroace amy could fit this i suppose and she just doesnt know it yknow. thats not my hc but i support their beliefs if that makes sense#she wants to be loved and she wants to love and she doesnt really get a big outlet for that so she shares it with everyone she sees#also i didnt wanna jam up the post but GAMMA!! this is partially abt gamma she helps him find out how to love and how to find joy in it-#-bc its what she wants for herself. she sees him and sees how completely alone he is and she wants to help him. idk idk something something#-when she was locked in the cell she saw part of herself staring back at her#gamma parallels to amy is SLEPT ON i stg i could make a whole other post about it#idk.. whenever im writing amy or just thinking abt how shed interact with others its always from the lens that she craves closeness with-#-others. she wants people to just stay for once.#does this make any sense. idk man im rambling here#my worst nightmare is characterizing her wrong its such a fine line and sometimes the words do not come out of my brain right#btw this is NOT me dissing amy i love amy. she is like top three favorite character.#important context: im typing this with amy firefox theme rn ok. ok im an amy fan.#she points at the minimize button like shes telling me to log off#jesus christ i just scrolled back up i love to put a whole other post in the notes dont i
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eeep !! good morning friendz and happy happy monday ! it’s a brand new day !!! and a brand new week !! i’m waving my lil wand and spreading a lil magic in hopes that everyone has a good one ^_^ ♥︎
#^ i am so obsessed with her hair i wanna cut my bangs like this T^T#but !!! i am so excited guys !!#i am setting good intentions for the days ahead and ready to get everything back on track !#there’s prob sm to catch up at work today but that’s ok !! im ready to get a lot accomplished ^_^#was feelin super bummed out lately and i’m sorry for the negativity i brought on here but !!! sometimes it just has to be that way yk ?#things are turning around tho and i can feel the buzz of excitement in the air ❤︎#hoping that everyone can find something to lift their spirits <3 even the tiny things will build up and suddenly things won’t seem so bad#okay let me quit yappin and scurry into work !!#mihawk fic is queued and i’m SO EXCITED !!!! i went a lil nutty but that’s what kinktober is about !!#enjoy the day !!! make yummy choices !!! mwaaah iluuuu !#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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NAWW, randomly realized how kaneki apologized to touka for not being able to help her with missing yoriko and how him taking touka to yorikos wedding is his way of making up for that/helping her. Probably the subject came up again the morning after.
I like imagining shenanigans they get into trying to find out on which day yoriko gets married because kaneki shouldve only known the location akdbwjd
#usually I only post my silly random touken thoughts on twt#but why not here as well#i cant really tell if that is an obvious observation LMAO#sometimes im slow uwu#one funny idea i have is touken going to the church and pretending to be a couple that wants to get married#so they can find out which day is unavailable due to yorikos wedding#and the pastor wants to chastise them for wanting to plan it so quickly and how it takes time#and touka blurts out 'm-my fiance is dying soon. thats why'#kaneki and pastor look at her with shock WJDBWJWD#pastor awkwardly gives their condolences and kaneki just nods and murmurs a thank you#anyway they find out the date lmao#oh hmm i dont wanna put this in the main tag but... organisation on the blog....
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Watched the new episode and after seeing her dad at the trial on tv, then listening to her mother, then reading all the craziest rumours and news on her dad, I'd like for Via to go full wrath, let all the anguish out, break out of her confused and insecure shell, go wreck some shit, steal the grimoire (again), explore the human world (again), wreak by accident other shit, explore the demon world, piss other shits off, give her mother a heart attack of the century, (Stolas is already having a heart and panic attack), find a friend, laugh a lot, take some other grimoires, hell even steal some from other nobles, cry more, take a break, have a Loona episode of wrecking shit, make her uncle Andy loose a lot of feathers. C'mon let her be a problem kid, let her have tons of fun, let her wrath consume her to the point Satan's starting to have doubts, questions and maybe suggest an anger management imp. She's got talent, even Stolas said she was too young to use the grimoire, let her do some girly things like test out lots of spells, destroy a district and Andy's precious wine cellar, throw out her dad's stuff then get it back and cry more. Let her moodiness show, her anger simmer and when all's out, just crash on a random street corner like she's been having the high time of her life.
#octavia goetia#basically i wanna via to have some fun without her parents and process all her emotions in a colourful way#also then Stolas and Blitz find her and get her home to sleep off the adrenaline#helluva boss#sometimes puberty is getting in touch with your inner wrath and breaking the psyche of everyone around including satan#helluva boss octavia
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As much as I do not gaf about Lestat in a vacuum, if in s3 louis is still a major character, and we get to see louis being insane and unhinged in ways he was to embarrassed to describe in s1&2 and we see Lestats thought process of "my beautiful princess with a disorder", if all that happens, I WILL be seated
#dont click read more tags if u dont wanna see my horror louis headcanon#what i really want to happen is *************#iwtv#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#what i really wanna see is maybe they take the 'lestat bio child viktor' plotline from the book at make it way more horrifying#maybe a human cultist witch is like “i want to have the devils baby and become a fucked up virgin mary” so she sleeps with lestat#while louis and him are being 'just friends'#and louis finds out shes preggo and murks her but before shes fully dead he cuts out the baby and just. cuts himself open and puts it inside#cus its a weird demon vampire baby it survives. and thats how we get viktor. by louis being insane#i really just love the idea of louis' body dysmorphia leading him to in moments of weakness doing dissections and vivisections#louis matches lestats freak sometimes
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another request from cohost! my friend asked for traditional inuk hairstyle like qilliqti, which is what i ended up going with! looking up the hairstyles sent me on a sidequest of looking at a bunch of fashion designers with modern takes on traditional clothes, so i also used some of those! so credits for that under the cut vv
jacket- https://www.instagram.com/p/C3QiKIdO0Jp/?img_index=5 jacket 2 (full fashion show with more angles, and a lot of super cool designs, also really cool music)- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp_eAzDu8xU patch- https://www.bradorfabrics.com/products/inukchic-iron-on-patches-celestial-narwhal hair originally from the film atanarjuat the fast runner, but the specific screenshot is here https://www.pinterest.com/pin/53480314313400875/
#originally i was going to give her specific earrings too but they were covered by her hair so i couldnt get it to look quite right#of course for the hair specifically it was hard to find a reference that didnt link back to avatar somehow#but the pictures themselves are real so thats fine#i honestly dont think i fully did the hairstyle justice because braids are not my strong suit#even though i gave her braids in her regular design too#anyway i also was like if im putting her in modern clothes lets make it the modern au. and im signifying that by having her play geoguesser#its actually openguesser tho bc geoguesser makes you pay now???#i wanted to play a round to use for the screenshot but i wasnt about to pay money for it so i played openguesser instead lol#also i kinda just wanted to play it too. not gonna lie#but yeah i really hope i portrayed everything well esp since im taking direct inspo from real designers#i wanna make sure everything is credited. so many of those designs are gorgeous and you guys should go look#and while i went with a more casual everyday look here i would love to draw her in something more intricate sometime too#so yeah i hope it all came out well enough 👍 and that i did the req justice even if im not great at braids#its good practice right?#finn's art#finn's ocs
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think my main issue with Sharon Rainsworth is idk what Mochijun was trying to do with her and she feels very out of place in the cast
Her thing is that she feels weak specifically because she relies on her chain a lot but it’s kind of just stated and then done with and she’s like “I was arrogant about it” but this wasn’t shown so I’m just like ???? Her main role in the story is a support to Break similar to Reim and like that’s fine but it’s so distracting how out of place she is because sometimes I feel like I’m reading a separate story when there’s a scene about her specific insecurity and I’m just like “oh ok” I think the idea of Sharon being reliant upon her chain and constantly being cuddled and sheltered and seen as weak especially with the state her body is in of not aging causing a lot of crisis within her because she’s in this weird stage of not feeling exactly like an adult but not entirely like a child is interesting but it doesn’t feel like that at all tbh it's not explored despite how it's adding to her insecurity. And then there’s the whole her acting “arrogant thing” and my response to that is when? The only time she was mean is once to Gilbert like literally only one panel, she was joining in on teasing him with Break. It's very light hearted and comedic to and frankly who in the manga doesn't bully Gil? It's not enough. I wish they made her messier and that she was a spoiled princess with unchecked privileged who was overcompensating and trying to hold the power of her family after feeling coddled and sheltered throughout her life and feeling like she needs to live up to the image of her mom and grandma but doesn't know how to so she's all talk and relies heavily upon her chain and acts haughty about it. Not realizing she's further indulging in her ignorance of the world. I think she could’ve been interesting in PH classism and exploitation themes. That she wants to be "strong" but is just furthering her ignorant just in a different way. And real strength and maturity would come in her recognizing the flaws in royal society and how they hurt and exploit the people below them. And her having to look inwards on her own flaws and unchecked privilege. (It also just adds to pandora heart's toxic codependency theme where obsession and reliance on something is harmful and denies you of growth and identity) And I just think about that one line she says to Lottie “selfishness runs in my blood” or smth it was a good line but it really doesn't feel earned because we never see Sharon being selfish or arrogant or cocky or anything. I don’t mind Sharon not being that angsty of a character she didn't need to have a sob story and a breather character like her would be good for more diversity esp when a lot of characters in pandora hearts can be quite intense with their conflicts. But her entire arc is incredibly lacking. The manga tells me *this* is her arc without actually showing it. And her development is someone calling her weak once and gets over it
#love love love pandora hearts to death tho i do think one of my main issues with the manga is the female characters are a bit underwritten#it's A LOT better then other shounen. Esp since all of them are given respect and have their own things going on. Theyre good characters#but not many of them meet the same character deph as a lot of the boys and I do find myself thinking a handful of them are a bit undercooke#in some regards or more couldve been done with them#also more messy women please !!!#It's not malicious tho. Manga literally written by a sapphic lmao#that being said Lacie is the best thing since sliced bread and im absolutely obsessed with her she's one of the characters ever#Sometimes I don't know if her or Oz is my favorite PH character#pandora hearts#sharon rainsworth#mochijun#I criticized her writing a lot in this post but there is actually one Sharon scene I really love for her character and I wanna talk about i#sometime
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Day 127 | id in alt
They hangin out on a building fr.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#itadori yuji#fushiguro megumi#tokyo trio#PEEP THE NAILS YALL#i had to draw Kugisaki with a watermelon sometime it's a thing of its plus i just wanted to state the obvious of where i stand again#i got into an argument with the politician major again yall#i dont wanna say anything out of context but they just said something extremely tasteless and it pissed me off a bit#thinking about the fact i watched a fucked up rose bush strangle another plant and thinking about Kugisaki like a freak#all plants can be a little weird#i enjoy drawing Kugisaki with scars. she deserves them#a friend drew Kugisaki earlier and i had never felt so much joy before.#everyday i am taken aback because i think of Kugisaki in lost beloved one movie scenes its dumb as shit#I DO NOT WANT KUGISAKI TO JUST SHOW UP OUT THE DAMN BLUE I WANT HER TO DO SOMETHING INSANE AND THEN SHOW UP#i cant elaborate because idk soul cannibalism for some reason idk ifk#Kugisaki's fit is like just a different colored fit of what i saw megan thee stallion wearing#famous people can rock shit if you find the right ones#im trying to do backgrounds more and i do refrence but what i do is called “getting references and then fucking it up”#i dont get down yall i fuck up#Nanami cameo because i just wanted to draw him looking technologically incompetent when it comes to face timing#ive just been tweaking as of late#ive been reading too much where people think Kugisaki barely knows anything due to her origin#YALL THINK SHE WOULDN'T DO A BUNCH OF SHIT OR LEARN SHIT JUST FOR FUMI??? WILDING OUT HERE#just realized why i can't do backgrounds in a certain way. its bc i dont do lineart.....
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Alfonse calling Lif a Bastard in the same way a sibling who holds an extreme level of resentment towards another sibling might
NOT a sibling coded interaction between them, despite the example. It's more about one denying the other of that shared family of origin due to feeling personally slighted and as a consequence of the other's personal failures. Your stupid ass ways have hurt both the family I feel a level of responsibility for (no matter how conflicted I am about that it's MY burden to bear ESPECIALLY because you fucked up as severely as you did) AND ME. Bonus points when directed at a full blooded sibling, legitimacy REVOKED you are NOTHING to me
... Writing all that out, initially starting out as an elaborate self-hatred bit (will never NOT be hilarious to me as a concept, and this one in particular has LAYERS to it) and having the dawning Realization. The core feeling this is coming from, maybe would be WAY more effective as a concept between SHARENA and Lif. Then getting achingly conflicted because that's just. NEVER the angle I take with them. I think she ABSOLUTELY has valid reasons to potentially get to that point but I. I want her to love him no matter what. Plus the unmatched comedy of her just accepting she has two older brothers now and she's going to subject BOTH of them to immense psychic damage through The Power of Love. Then I run a tumblr discourse simulation through my head like okay Misogynistic???? To expect the girl to "fix" a broken man through 💖 Love 💖 no matter what?????? A sentiment you do ideologically agree with (to specify -- it is a misogynistic trope and absolute fucking bullshit dogshit in real life), it should never be a woman's job to "fix" a man. You acknowledge the cisnormativity of that statement and take shrimp color damage from the fact that you're a trans man. Someone who was raised with this sentiment being a widely understood way of life especially from your mom's side in particular, and someone who, despite the epic new (not at all new at this point) gender identity, is often still bound by the expectations enforced upon you. Also what are you, still Christian???? You hear your mother's voice. "Family Forgiveness is Important -- I hope that one day you can see that. Like I Did 😇💖"
You have died. Badly.
#my notes#i tricked you. you thought i was gonna give you enriching askr family thoughts and fun headcanons.#instead i give you a recreation of what happens in real time for me. when i think about them#also editing this augh. like. i don't wanna get too into the details of the 'like i did' bit bc#like. despite everything. i want to have some level of privacy and respect about it.#but her situation was. bad. far worse than mine. and even acknowledging that like i make a huge fuss esp lately#but like. that's just how it goes. traumatized people will sometimes go on to traumatize others#like in all of this all of my shit talking i feel the need to acknowledge her humanity. okay.#all that said all my bullshit about the askr family unit as a whole. you could psychoanalyze me for days.#i would prefer if you didn't. instead you should find amusement in my post and take anything that sparks a vision#okay. i love you.
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Just a couple of Yin sketches :3
#sometimes i do a art#my main is where i usually post art#this one just happens to be fanfic relevant :P#kookydoesstuff is my main btw if you wanna see more op art wink#first pic is how i imagine she looks right after killing the commodore after the boys first find her#with them shrimp eyes#a couple people already asked but i absolutely give permission to draw her! just please tag me so i can see 💖#also since shes reader insert feel free to change her skin colour!#her outfit is also changeable except her mask and jacket#wavelengths art
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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