#maybe a human cultist witch is like “i want to have the devils baby and become a fucked up virgin mary” so she sleeps with lestat

[eyestrain-addict]

As much as I do not gaf about Lestat in a vacuum, if in s3 louis is still a major character, and we get to see louis being insane and unhinged in ways he was to embarrassed to describe in s1&2 and we see Lestats thought process of "my beautiful princess with a disorder", if all that happens, I WILL be seated

[poisonouswritings]

M4 and Horror Movies

GN!reader, fluff, mentions of potentially upsetting movies, imagine trying to Netflix and Chill with someone who has no idea what Netflix is

(This takes place in the Good End AU, where MC and Co. can travel between Earth and Astraea at will)

Felix

I would say,, ghost or witch movies. I think you'd want to go with movies that are like, horror/drama types. Something with more emotions than scares. Also just anything Weird. I think he'd really enjoy movies that don't have a clear story because he can make up his own interpretation.

My suggestions would be IT Chapters 1 & 2 (2017 & 2019), The VVitch (2015), Annihilation (2018), Black Swan (2010), Color Out Of Space (2019) etc.

You guys have A Blanket Lasagna, in the sense that there are layers of different types. Fleece, satin, cotton, flannel, a crocheted throw. Felix gets cold easy. Leave him alone. If you're hot then you can just shove all the blankets onto him. He Will Thrive.

Stella is lurking in the shadows. She keeps randomly hopping onto things or knocking things over. She has insane dramatic timing and basically keeps jumpscaring you guys.

You Will Not be able to talk much. He's really focused on what's happening. Keeps crying at the sad parts. Will hold your hands and be blubbering because in his head he's managed to come with a Significantly Sadder Twist than what actually happens. I hope you have several boxes of tissues at the ready.

Anisa

I'm evil for this but,, Anisa is fascinated with Earth and the amazing things humans here have done?? Show her tales of human horror.

She wouldn't really like much gore, so I'm gonna suggest movies like The Lodge (2019), Platform (2019), The Purge series (2013-present), Candyman (either 1992 or 2021), Midsommar (2019), Silence of the Lambs (1991), etc.

I think it would both depress and fascinate her! The amount of creativity the people of Earth have to torture each other (or depict torture at least) is,, disturbing. But amazing.

Maybe don't let Ayanna find out or else she's gonna continue to distrust you

You guys are definitely cuddling. You're the smol spoon. She's squeezing the hell out of you and hiding her face in your shoulder during the scary parts, but still peeks at the screen.

Her hands are wrapped around your waist,, pick one of her hands up and kiss the inside of her wrist,,, it calms her down

Sage

Definitely horror/comedies or horror/action. Something fast paced to keep his attention a bit!! But he's still not gonna make it through the movie.

I would suggest stuff like Mandy (2018), Funny Games (1997), Jennifer's Body (2009), Rubber (2010), Shaun of the Dead (2004), etc. You could try showing him the Firefly Saga (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, 3 From Hell) but honestly I think he's gonna like,, zone out except for when Baby is doing stuff. And then get grossed out at the weirder stuff.

Y'know how,, being scared makes your adrenaline go wild and you tend to fall in love/get turned on a lot easier? Yeah so Sage is definitely nuzzling up to you and getting a little handsy.

Although some of the jumpscares actually do startle him, and then he's making a little squeak noise and hiding in your chest and his tail is wrapping around you and the tip is flicking around like crazy. He recovers very quickly and tries to play it off like nothing but for a few minutes after he's gripping you a lot tighter.

If you let him pick the movies then be prepared for him to just choose whatever's title screen looks the brightest/most chaotic

Rime

Am I saying he would like zombie movies? No. Am I saying you should show him zombie movies and be like 'dats you' every time? Yes. But for what he would actually enjoy, I'd say,, anything cultist/religious. I think he'd find the faith aspect both familiar and really really interesting. He'd like getting in the characters heads and understanding why they did what they did

I'd recommend,, Saint Maud (2019), Carrie (1976), The Lodge (2019), The Wicker Man (1973), Rosemary's Baby (1968), The Invitation (2015), Children of the Corn (1984), etc.

Does not get startled by jumpscares. I particularly good one might make him flinch very slightly but overall he's more focused on the story than the scares.

I think it'd be a little weird for him. He worked with cultists so he definitely recognizes a lot of the behaviors and fanaticism. Seeing it from this perspective, it kinda helps him realize how disturbing all that stuff was. It's a long period of introspection.

If he gets a little too deep in his thoughts, try to touch his tail. It surprises him of course but it also kinda shocks him out of his spiral. Being playful and casual with him definitely helps.

Remind him he's no longer like that. Smooch his cheek. Call him Bambi. He rolls his eyes and (affectionately and jokingly) threatens you to knock it off but really he loves it.

[trashmenace]

Devil’s Kiss by William W. Johnstone

"We're entering the age of Liberalism, Sam, and it's going to be awful!"

1958.  Whitfield, Nebraska population 2500.

Something strange is happening in Whitfield.  Church attendance is down.  Folks don't seem as friendly.  Rumors are swirling around about incest behind closed doors.  Townsfolk are wearing strange medallions.  Bodies are disappearing from the graveyard.  And it all started after an archaeological dig began, led by Black Wilder, the head of a cult called the Church of the Fifteen le Diable.

A teenage couple sneak into the closed property around the dig and are attacked by wolf-like creatures.  The boy is eaten, the marrow sucked from his bones.  The girl escapes, is picked up by the Sheriff's department, gangraped by deputies, and tossed back over the fence for the beasts to mate with.

Meet Minister Sam Balon, a drinking, smoking, cussing Korean War Special Forces veteran.  His wife Michelle has been stepping out on him, while he has his eye on sweet Jane Ann Burke.  He's concerned about the changes in town, and has surrounded himself with the few remaining decent folk, including Father Dubois, Miles and Doris Lansky (the town's only Jews), newspaper owner Wade Thomas and his wife Anita, and a few more.

The chief of police is mysteriously killed and it becomes clear that something is going on.  Father Dubois airs his suspicions.  Every few centuries, Satan tries to take over an entire town, where he is opposed by an agent of God.  One such agent buried a magic tablet in Whitfield over a century ago, a tablet that Black Wilder has recovered.

Not sure what the tablet does or what's going on with the people being recruited to the cult.  People join willingly, are maybe possessed, are changed after being raped or bitten, are brainwashed by subliminal messages in radio music, or just plain aren't Christian enough.  The point that is made regularly is that they all, on some level, chose to be evil.

Bolan kills several beasts and his mission becomes clear.  Gather up the remaining virtuous of Whitfield to defeat Satan.

The beasts are like stripped down werewolves - tall, hulking, hairy brutes with half-human faces.  They are God's mistakes, from his failed first attempt at creation who have made a pact with Satan.  They are long lived but vulnerable to conventional harm, hibernating for centuries at a time.  If they bite or "mate" with a human, they turn into a beast.

Balon gathers his forces, while the only roads out of town are closed for a week.  The majority of the town has succumbed to the forces of evil and spend all day molesting each other.  There are a few folks inbetween, mostly the elderly.  Christians, but somehow not Christian enough.

Balon isn't taken seriously when he makes a joking aside about the Devil being in Whitfield, and his remaining parishioners laugh him off.  Well, he tried.  He's had enough of his wife and punches her out, leaving her tied up for an exorcism.

Father Dubois attempts an exorcism but it doesn't work - turns out that Michelle is no longer human at all but a centuries old witch with powers given to her by Satan.  And as everyone knows, the only way to kill a witch is by a stake through the heart.

Now that his wife is out of the way, he proceeds to bang Jane Ann.  There's a little known five-minute rule for fornication, and he marries himself to her right afterwards.  At this point Balon just starts knowing things.  He knows that there will be a seven day battle, and that the cult will not attack until the beginning of the seven days.  And he knows that he has to kill the entire population of Whitfield.

Balon and the faithful head for the woods, living rough in the back country, raiding outlying ranches with Tommy guns and sticks of dynamite.  In addition to the beasts they also face the undead, kind of stripped down vampires.  Animalistic reanimated corpses vulnerable to holy water and stakes through the heart, though they can be shot down in cow form.  They can turn into cows, by the way.

Witches are also kinda vampires - they drink blood and can turn their victims into undead or cultists.  Not enough?  Turns out there is a secret mental asylum in the county for radioactive mutants, victims of a failed Manhattan Project style experiment.  Sounds cool, but for us all it means is that Balon and company drive past a clump of lumpy people waving clubs at them at shoot them down.

They don't get a ton of resistance from the cultists - I think they get off one shot the whole book, and it helps that there are convoluted rules of engagement.  Nobody can attack Balon, and on Sunday nobody can fight back at all.  Except for the beasts.  And cultists if it's within the city limits, but not in the outlying county.  It gets pretty complicated, but luckily Balon just knows these things as one of God's warriors, so he doesn't have to keep track as Johnstone pulls this stuff out of his butt.

The town itself gets wiped out in a fireball from an exploding gas station, thanks to gusts of winds courtesy of the man upstairs.  This kills most of the rest of the town, presumably including the rest of the Christians hiding in their cellars from rape gangs.  And the children - I'm guessing this town had children.

Meanwhile, Black Wilder is being usurped by his witchy companion Nydia, who wants to have a baby with Balon.  Balon basically surrenders in a pact - he'll let himself get raped to death by Nydia if they let the rest of his crew live, especially his now-pregnant wife Jane Ann.

"Make our son a man, Janey, a real man.  Instill in him virtue, but don't make him a pansy."

This happens and the fighting is over.  There are still a few surviving cult members, but that fight isn't for another twenty years.

Epilogue:

1980, Nelson College NY.  Sam Black Williams and Sam Balon King are college roommates.  King admires a photo of Black's twin sister.  Duh duh duhhhhh.

Highlights: montage sequences of cultists violating each other: murder, sodomy, incest, all the good stuff.

Lowlights: For a book with a body county in the low quadruple digits, there's surprisingly little violence or action.  I'll admit it would get a little monotonous, but not as monotonous as the endless dialogue.

Devil's Kiss is directly followed by Devil's Heart, Devil's Touch, and Devil's Cat.  Devil's Laughter is in the same continuity but with different characters, and the Cat books (Cat's Eye and Cat's Cradle) are arguably as well.

Available from Amazon for Kindle.

Click here to read a sample.