#sometimes i gotta attempt the pose without the use of my right leg‚ to see where his weight would actually be

[whumpsical]

(ty @figuwhump for the pose! 💕)

Jian is an insomnia baker <3 welcome to 3am floor cookies, sponsored by The Horrors

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 13 “When She Finally Leaves” [Episode List] Dana spends the whole day at Dave’s place. When the girl leaves, Tim, who’s now Dave’s roommate, finds out how much gas a man can hold in just to not look gross in front of a girl.

When She Finally Leaves

In the last few weeks I’ve been spending more and more nights at Dave’s place, whether because I needed a place to work, write my essays, or simply to spend some quality time watching bad films and drinking beer. It was Dave himself to ask me to “marry him” (as he jokingly put it), basically becoming official roommates, which also meant dividing our tasks and obviously splitting the rent.

And honestly we were having a great time. We both had jobs, fortunately, which were not much but they did pay taxes for now and it was overall a great experience. Friend or not, Dave is an excellent roommate, being pretty good at cooking and organising chores; the same could be said for me actually, though in some cases we have our own preferences; for example Dave prefers cooking (the fact that I’m bad at it it’s purely coincidental) so we agreed I’ll be the one doing the dishes.

We also had our buds crashing over what is now *our* place a couple of times, which resulted in more bad films and beer, or even nerd stuff such as gaming together. Of course however, the person who most often came over is obviously Dana, Dave’s girlfriend. She’s pretty cool though we don’t really hang out with her when Dave’s not around, though as I said she’s pretty easy-going.

Tonight we’ve been watching a trash movie. Yes, the three of us. Don’t worry, I was a welcome addition today. Dave would usually just tell me to leave for a few hours if sex was on the table (sometimes literally on the table, the one where we eat our food…) as we respect each others enough to just be straightforward whenever we needed some privacy. Tonight however it was just chilling like three friends hanging out together (knowing however that Dave would just give me a signal should things get more heated up you know).

We were in the living room. I was on an armchair, working on my laptop, despite the poor wi-fi. On the long wide couch beside me, Dave and Dana chilling and watching the movie with more attention than me, my bud’s left arm around his girlfriend, sometimes making remarks on how bad it was. We all had a can of beer, because of course we did.

The couple brought some takeouts for dinner, some fast-food a few blocks from here (Dana’s idea, actually, which we were both thankful for). Dave, chilling next to Dana, was wearing his signature casual outfit: a grey shirt and pair of dark blue loose jeans, details that my gay-ass eyes immediately noticed and more than once stared at.

“Oh wow the helicopter just blew up I’m speechless.” Dave said, sarcastically.

“A Subversive Masterpiece: that’s what they were going for when they wrote this.” Dana added, and they both chuckled.

I also did my fair share of sarcastic remarks though work got most of my attention, even though it was nothing urgent, just me trying to get some stuff done as fast as possible.

“Did the shark just wink at him?” my bro commented.

“They’re best friends now.” his girlfriend explained. What a great film.

After 15 more minutes the movie ended with the three of us clapping at a shot of a man and a shark exchanging a look of gratitude to each other, as the Sun set into the never-ending ocean. Drugs played a big role into the making of this move I’m 100% sure.

“Well, that was enlightening, but I gotta head back home. The Uber’s almost here.” Dana said, as she got up and reached for her purse and some other stuff.

“You’re really sure about that? Come on, stay here for the night.” Dave suggested. “I taught Tim to play dead. We can throw food at him.” he then joked.

“I can also bring you the newspaper upstairs, tomorrow morning.” I played along.

Dana chuckled in response. “I’m sure you’ll win the next contest you two, but I gotta wake up super early tomorrow.”

The couple walked towards the front door. The entrance was next to the living room, a few steps behind the couch. Dave and I sometimes darkly joked that any assassin could easily ambush us because whenever we’re on the couch anyone could sneak into the house behind us, with enough care (we then prefer to drink about it).

“Call me when you get home.” Dave said and the two shared a quick kiss.

In the meantime I moved on the bigger (and more comfortable) couch, more or less in Dana’s spot, as I also have better wi-fi reception there. I left my laptop on the small table in front of me because apparently all of my laptops have to be shitty and take some time to even the most basic stuff. As I inspected the wi-fi icon flashing on the screen, I heard Dave shutting the door and walking back to the couch. After a few steps his tall figure was already towering over me.

“Yeah the reception is pretty bad lately.” he commented, and then collapsed next to me.

Only a few seconds and he already had that well-known smirk drawn on his face; he then quickly adjusted his position. He completely laid down, extended his demin-clad legs, with his left one resting on the back of the couch, ending right behind my neck. In a moment, Dave ended up showing off his loose, almost-sagging jeans-clad ass directly next to me, as his legs trapped me into a gentle yet strong grip. Seeing both that “wall” made of jeans and my bro’s smirk at the same time was a sight I never truly got used to. He was just lying there, next to me, with his ass pointed at me, as if it was one big prank, even though he knew exactly how much I enjoyed that.

“Bro you’re ready?” he asked, still sporting that smirk.

When even Dave goes as far as asking me if I’m ready, then I knew that the fart was going to be gargantuan. And I realized why: Dana has been with us and my bro the entire day, so it’s possible that Dave just held all of his gas in for hours. We all experienced this, then when the girl leaves, men get to “relax”. Other than that, Dave had tons of beer and junk food. I stared at that denim butt, for the first time almost scared of what my bud was capable of; I knew a fart was coming, and I knew it was going to be big.

But what Dave said next really once again confirmed how chill he is around me.

“Believe me: you might want to get closer for this one.” he said, laughing a bit.

He sported weirdly reassuring smile, Dave’s millionth attempt at saying “It’s ok, Tim.” as he probably noticed now nervous I became when he assumed that pose.

The teasing bastard then went full bully on me and simply reached for my head with his long right arm and gently pulled me down, as if I was bowing to that still silent denim-clad ass. I just heard him laugh like an idiot, as it usually happens. Despite my head being down and in front of that ass, I could still see Dave’s face and that smirk. He raised his eyebrows and half-closed his eyes as he started pushing, but he didn’t need to put all that effort into ripping that blast.

It’s like the fart was barely contained in the first place: it immediately exploded with a loud sound right into my face. Dave closed his eyes and kept his smirk as the blast probably surprised him as well. It was low-pitched and dry, a completely natural gas-eruption that sounded like an engine. The stench was unbearable, a mixture of beer and junk food, surprise to no one.

While farting, Dave adjusted his position as bit, spreading his legs bit more, with my face getting almost planted into that denim-clad butt as he effortlessly kept ripping that immense flatulence. Hours and hours of gas being erupted as if I was in front of a dormant volcano that just woke up. And I feared that “hours” was what he was going for ‘cause after 20 seconds the fart didn’t even lose power.

Dave still had this smirk drawn on his face and occasionally stared down at me as he completely destroyed my face and nose with his incredible farting skills, skills that constantly let me speechless, fetish or not. He was the fart master, a showoff with a manly talent that I could only bow to and endure in the hop-

“Sorry, I forgot my house keys.”

The fart immediately stopped and it all went silent: It was Dana.

Dave turned his head to his girlfriend, greeting her with the stupidest smile you can think of.

“Oh stay there no worries, they’re right here.” I heard Dana say as she reached for keys, probably hanging right next to the door, my face still almost planted in my friend’s denim ass. That felt surreal.

I completely froze (not that I could move) but I knew that she couldn’t see me (just like I couldn’t see her) as I was lying down. All she could see from where she was standing was Dave’s head and his right leg resting on the back of the couch, since the entrance was behind our couch.

I was terrified, while Dave was doing his best not laugh like an idiot.

“What’s so funny?” Dana asked, laughing a bit herself, definitely noticing her boyfriend being weird.

My teasing bro quickly glanced down at me, almost losing it (and still holding holding the fart in, which didn’t stop the smell from burning my nostrils).

“N-nothing’” he stuttered. That’s it, he was gonna laugh like an idiot.

“Okay” I heard Dana, not really convinced of the boyfriend’s answer though.

There was a moment of awkward silence and then we heard a car honk, thank goodness.

“Oh… it’s my Uber. Bye!” the girl said, quickly leaving the house and shutting the door behind her.

Another moment of silence followed, Dave still staring at the entrance. I was shaking, I was legitimately scared that someone was gonna find out, which was weird given the hotness I was experiencing in that moment, even without the fart being ripped.

“Ok… where were we?” Dave asked, turning back to me, with a smirk. “Oh yeah!”

And he effortlessly resumed farting, just as loud, proud and powerful as it was before the interruption, directly into my face. The terror I experienced moments before was blown away by that incredibly blast and me being rock-hard, as it usually happens when Dave showoffs his gassy talent around me, or on me.

Dozens of seconds passed and at this point Dave just played along. He nodded at me, faking a serious expression, as if he was listening to something actually interesting instead of his own loud fart still going on strong; after about ten more seconds he checked the time on his wrist-watch and acted surprised, then stared down at me as if he wanted to say “damn that is long!”. We both however actually lost the track of time and he simply relaxed as if I wasn’t even in front of his ass, all while the fart was still being blasted in my face.

Dave then reached for my head again and gently pushed it inches closer to his roaring ass, and I felt the vibrations of his rip all over my face: it was literally an earthquake.

How long was it lasting? More than 1 minute perhaps? How much gas can a man hold in? Dave certainly was pushing for a record. All I knew is that I felt privileged witnessing that, even though I was beyond being a mere witness since no particle of gas missed my eyes and nostrils.

However (finally, actually), the fart seemingly started to lose power, the once-continuous sound starting to “stutter” and turning more into a fast series of loud farts, fired back-to-back. The show (because that’s what it was: a show) ended with a loud, 5 seconds blast, and Dave’s laughter.

I slowly got up, sweaty, my nose burning, with a startled look to which my bro reacted with another immature cackle. I was now sitting next to him as I was before, and looked back at my bud, who in the meantime re-adjusted his pose. He was still lying down, still kind of showing off his loose-sagging ass, but in a less “menacing” way: now he was just chilling.

“When’s Dana coming over again?” I joked. I mustered all the courage I had left to say that. I was impressed by the fact that I could still speak considering that all of my blood probably flooded my boner at that point.

Dave laughed at that lame joke, thank goodness. “As if I need Dana to blast you like this.”

He raised one leg, again showing off his sagging denim ass in my direction. He quickly sucked some air in and after a few moments and weird noises a loud 6 seconds fart erupted. For his standards, that’s basically a weak one.

My friend just casually joking and bragging about facefarting me and then farting on command to prove it made me lose it, as I felt my boner… dampening. He didn’t notice it but he knew that I had a hard-on, that’s for sure.

I didn’t want to just rush into the bathroom so I just stared at my laptop, still on the table, in front of me: the wi-fi signal was stronger than ever. I jokingly like to think that Dave’s blast was so powerful it actually influenced the signal somehow and improved it.

I turned to my bud, still lying on his side of the couch, just checking his phone and being… casually hot.

“Thanks man.” I said, not for the wi-fi though.

He lowered his phone, revealing a blank reaction “Really?” he said, rolling his eyes, with a bored expression. “Stop being cringe and do the dishes.”

Fuck, I totally forgot about those. We had takeout food but we still used some of our dishes. I immediately got up and rushed to the kitchen, hoping that Dave was distracted by his phone enough to not notice by boner through my sweatpants.

Once in the kitchen, a place that wasn’t tainted by Dave’s gas, my nostrils could still feel my bro’s fart-stench. That’s how soaked up in his gas I was. Even my ears needed some time to adjust to the silence, now that I didn’t have a deafening fart being ripped right into my skull. 

And I just knew that this wasn’t the last time this was gonna happen. I’m Dave’s roommate, and being roomies means we have to divide our tasks: he’s the farter, I’m the sniffer.

End of Episode 13

[melioramercy]

i didn’t mean to, but i know it still hurts

spencer reid x nonbinary partner (afab) (they/them/theirs)

in which spencer accidentally misgenders his partner

this is my first fic ! how groovy is that ?

note: misgendering is defined as the following: [to] refer to (someone, especially a transgender person) using a word, especially a pronoun or form of address, that does not correctly reflect the gender with which they identify.

if you’d like to chat about gender (respectfully) my asks are open xx ruby

dating spencer reid was wonderful. truly, you had no idea how you’d gotten so lucky. he was kind without trying, attentive to your needs, and would never do anything to hurt your feelings. not on purpose, anyway. but when he did, he was quick to apologise, curling up on the couch with you and kissing your head. he knew you typically brooded in silence, choosing to let what was bothering you wash over you in full before attempting to sort anything out. this way, you didn’t say anything you didn’t mean. you two always sorted out conflicts peacefully, and only ended up crying because you loved each other so much and you never wanted to be mad at the other. because of this, he was more than happy to sit with you in silence, weathering your storm together.

spencer didn’t know you were nonbinary when you first met. that was ten months ago, back when you only knew him as the cute, clumsy guy who frequented the same park as you. he liked to play chess, you learned, while he noticed you practicing complex yoga poses just a stone’s throw past him. the two of you maintained a respectful distance from one another, though you snuck glances at him, admiring the way his tongue poked out between his lips, and how quickly his hands darted around the board. he never noticed you staring, the same way you didn’t notice his eyes bashfully skating over your figure, sucking in a breath as your shirt rode up, revealing your colourful sports bra and soft tummy.  

you’d existed in the same space, bearing witness to one another’s leisure activities for nearly four months before you interacted beyond a slight smile or shy wave. some days, he sat propped against a tree, reading a thick book or sketching. you were physically closer than ever when he sat under the tree, but you couldn’t have felt further apart. on the days he had a notebook in front of him, pencil sliding across the paper, his gaze never wavered, and you couldn't help but secretly hope he was drawing a portrait of you. spurred on by your daydream, you decided to try out more skillful poses, subconsciously trying to break his concentration, but no dice.  

it wasn’t until you fell out of a handstand and face-planted that the force field between you two broke. he jumped up from his spot under the tree and ran over to you, wiping dirt off your forehead and holding your face as he checked for any scrapes or bruises. you hoped his warm hands couldn’t feel the way your cheeks burned as he scrutinized you. you let out a breathy laugh mixed with a gasp as you realized how close he was. from here, you could see the green around his pupils, blooming into a gorgeous hazel. the wind teased the curls you’d longed to run your hands through. as if jolted by an unseen presence, he realized how close he was to you, quickly dropping his hands from your face and pulling away.

“uh, sorry,” he said, brushing off his pants as he stood.

“no, no, really, it’s okay. thank you. i usually practice my handstands at home, with lots of cushions around.” damn, he was so cute. you tugged your shirt down, suddenly feeling self-conscious in your tight, printed leggings, toes wriggling into the grass.

you stared at each other, unsure of what to say. was it wrong to want his hands back on your face, kissing you like his life depended on it?

“i’m y/n,” you offered.

“spencer.”

“well, it’s lovely to meet you, spencer. thank you again.” shit, was this really going to end here?

“yeah, uhm, you too. y/n.” the words brought a smile to your face, and you loved the way your name fit in his mouth.

he rocked on his feet, as if he were working up the courage to say something.

“okay... bye.” and just like that, he turned to leave. no, no no no no. fuck, think, y/n, think!

“hey!” you shouted, loud enough to startle him. as soon as he turned around, you were blurting out, “do you wanna go out sometime?”

***

you told spencer about your pronouns, along with your gender identity, on the date you’d scheduled for the following weekend, pending his schedule didn’t change. he didn’t offer up any information about his job, or what made his schedule so wonky, and you didn’t ask. you wanted to know anything you could about the man you’d seen at the park so many times, but you didn't want to push him.

you’d agreed to take a walk in the park before heading to a nearby restaurant for dinner. you wanted to give him an easy out, in case he changed his mind about you. you wore a simple top with linen pants and sandals, while he wore a more casual version of what you’d seen him wearing before. slacks, a button-down sans sweater vest, and converse. you met up at the tree you’d seen him reading under before, savouring the way he complimented you. beginning to walk the path, you worked up the nerve to confess your truth.

“so,” you began. “i’ve gotta get something out of the way.” you saw a flash of panic in his eyes, opting to continue before he could ask any questions.

“i’m nonbinary.”

he stopped walking, letting out a breath before turning to you. fuck, you thought. this is it. he’s gonna be scared off just like everyone else before him. considering how long you'd hoped for this moment, this would be the hardest loss of them all. but you couldn't compromise yourself, in the same way you wouldn't be able to change his mind if he thought your gender identity was too much baggage.

you were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t see the smile on his face. you also realized neither of you had said anything since your initial admission.

“spencer?” his name sounded like a plea, with a tinge of hope lining your voice.

“okay.”

“okay?” that’s it?

“what pronouns would you like me to refer to you with?”

the question was one you’d heard before, but it sounded so much... better coming from him. you felt a flutter in your heart, a smile budding on your face as he slipped his hand into yours.

“y/n," you reintroduced yourself. "they/them/theirs.”

he nodded at that, beginning to walk again. you didn’t expect him to speak again, and you definitely weren't expecting what he said next.

“spencer,” he said. “he/him/his.”

you squeezed his hand, the flutter in your heart replaced with something different, something... warm. you really hoped this would last.

***  

ten months later, you were sat at the kitchen table, having breakfast for dinner, with your boyfriend recalling some conversation he’d had with the team.

“and i told morgan, y/n always stays up waiting for me on the couch, but sometimes she falls asleep and-”

he immediately froze, not missing the way you flinched behind your coffee mug. for a second, he thought he should’ve just kept talking, quickly correcting himself and continuing with the story. he knew you disliked when people made a big deal out of messing up your pronouns, but he couldn’t help himself.

“y/n, i-”

you were quick to cut him off.

“spence, it’s okay. it was an accident.” your voice didn’t reveal your hurt, but spencer didn't miss the look in your eyes, the way your brow furrowed as you tried to keep his slip up from getting to you. it wasn't personal. it was an accident. but it still hurt.

“y/n, i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” he started rambling, leaving you no room to interrupt. “i’m sorry, i know your pronouns. i would never misgender you on purpose or do anything to hurt you.” he reached across the table, grabbing your hands and squeezing them tightly. “you’re my y/n/n, my beanie. i love you so much. i’m sorry.”

he'd started weeping at the initial mess up, but now he was fully crying, harder than you'd ever seen. it scared you more than it confused you. why was he so upset?  

“spence, baby, it’s okay,” you begged him to believe you, but he only dropped his head against your hands, his tears wetting your skin. “spencer,” you said, more insistently. 

you sighed, realizing he wasn’t letting up. you pulled your hands out from under his head, hoping he’d look up at you, but he dropped his head onto the table instead. what was up with him? seriously, people called you “she” all the time, and it was rarely malicious. you were used to it, but he was always bothered, correcting people so you didn’t have to. he really was the perfect boyfriend.  

abruptly, you stood up, grabbing his arm and pulling with all your weight. he gave in, letting you drag him to the couch. you sat down, the worn leather squeaking as you tucked your feet under yourself. you tugged him down to sit next to you, cradling his head against your chest like he'd done with you so many times before when you were upset. you kissed his forehead and stroked his hair until his breathing slowed down.

“you okay, baby?” your words were met with a murmur, but it was better than nothing. “spence?”

you tilted his head so you could look each other in the eye.

“what’s going on, lovey?”

it was his turn to sigh, his nostrils flaring as his big ole brain searched for the right words.

“i’m sorry.”

you didn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean it, but i know it still hurts. your pronouns are part of you, and i’ve seen first-hand how much it bugs you when someone refers to you as ‘she’ or ‘her.’ i know you take it personally, and i don't blame you. i know i'll never understand how much it affects you, or why, and i never, ever, want to be the person who makes you feel that way.”

“i know, spence, it’s okay.”

“but it’s not, y/n!” his words were frantic, but he took a deep breath to try and calm himself. “i’m sorry. i just, i’ve never messed up before.”

so that’s what is was. god, on the one hand, you were grateful he took it so... personally? no. you couldn’t put your finger on it, but the fact that he cared so much made you feel loved, and seen. he knew how much it hurt you, and it hurt him just as much.

“baby, thank you.”

he looked you right in the eye, confused as to why you were thanking him.

“thank you, for loving me. for being you. spence, i... i’ve never had anyone who’s cared so much. you’re right, it does hurt, but i love you. i know you didn’t mean any harm, and i know you would never do it on purpose. you don’t have to beat yourself up, okay?”

he still seemed upset, so you reached around, hooking your pinky with his. his lip quirked up at that, and he adjusted so he could press his palm to yours, entwining your fingers.

“i love you, beanie.”

“i love you, too, baby. so so much.”

[dangerousconnoisseurdonut]

Curse of Loki preview (F/F/m)

On AO3, I have a request for a Tickle Fic, something I have toyed with for years, but never had the guts to do until now. I realize tickling isn’t everyone’s kink, but please be kind as this is my first attempt. I am posting a preview here to get a feel if I’m doing this right.

Now, context! Bruce has been sent a horn with Norwegian Runes all over it. What he doesn’t know is that this is the Horn of Loki, the Trickster God and causes... interesting results between the recipient and their enemies. In this case, Bruce and the Rogues of Gotham. After he has blown the horn, he gets the urge to go into the city and winds up at Selina’s flat, not realizing that she has a guest at the minute and... well, here goes nothing.

“Relax, Bruce, I just wanted to lounge around for a change; Tabitha and Barbara got me this on my last birthday. Do you like it?” Selina gave a little pose and Bruce did his best to keep his eyes on her face where they belonged and not drawn to her cleavage which he had never seemed to notice before. It was darker than magenta, somewhere between sangria and mulberry, with pink cherry blossoms scattered on it; it was indeed beautiful, but Bruce was wishing at the moment she had something on underneath as he could see her breasts, including her perky nipples.

“Bruce?” Selina asked with a shit-eating grin as though she had a damn good idea why he hadn’t answered her, causing his blush to deepen as he responded,

“Nice! It’s very, uh, very nice!”

“I think the naughty boy was eyeing your tits, Cat.” Bruce whirled around at the sound of another female, only to find Bridgit Pike waltzing into the room in another bathrobe, this one somewhere between navy and indigo, with white orchids. He was struck by how attractive she was, even with the scars on her face and what he could see of her body; her hair was long, though there was none where her face had been burned, and her smile was one of the, pardon the pun, cat who got the canary. He felt himself harden as he suddenly felt very much like a canary.

“Uh, I’m uh, sorry for interrupting you two, I’ll just, um, I’ll just -” Bruce was shocked when Bridgit grabs the lapel of his jacket and pulls him to her so she can kiss him. As he and Bridgit make-out, he feels Selina grab his jacket and pull it off of him. Bruce however gets a moment of clarity and pulls away as Selina pulls his button up partially off, ripping a few of the buttons off and trapping his arms in the sleeves.

“W-wait a minute, what are y-you -?” Bruce just about jumped out of his skin when Selina dug her fingers into his underarms, causing him to almost bite his tongue off as he fought not to laugh.

“Naughty boys need to be punished, but we don’t want to hurt you so, Selina and I think you need a good laugh; not to sound like Jerome, but you are way too serious.” Bridgit explains as she lightly runs her fingers over his ribs. Bruce doesn’t say anything, knowing the minute he opens his mouth he’ll start laughing and won’t be able to stop. He hadn’t been tickled since he was seven, and he had forgotten how much he hated it. Selina and Bridgit start leading him to Selina’s bed, digging their fingers into his ribs or underarms when he tries to struggle. Bruce is almost crying from the exertion it’s taking to not laugh. When it comes time to get him on the bed, they move quickly to get Bruce’s arms out from the shirt, and tied down using some scarves. For his legs, Bridgit sits on Bruce’s stomach and switches between his underarms and stomach, not letting him get used to either sensation as Selina wrestles him out of his shoes, pants, underwear, and socks before tying his legs down. Bridgit stopped for a moment, enjoying seeing Bruce struggle to contain his laughter, as Selina went to get something.

“P-please Bridgit, I, I’m sorry I looked at Selina’s breasts; you’re both so pretty I couldn’t help it, but I’m so sorry for being a pervert and -mmph!” Bruce was cut off as Bridgit again kissed him, and he moaned a little as she played with his nipples before Selina came back.

“Starting without me?”

“I’ve never seen a guy apologize so much for sneaking a peak at a boob before.” Bridgit explained as she petted Bruce’s locks, something he actually seemed to enjoy.

“I told you; he’s an odd one but can actually be kind of sweet, like a puppy.” Selina said as she resumed her position at his feet, making him worry about what she planned to do.

“Well, even cute puppies have to be disciplined when they do something naughty, but since he seems so sincere with his apology, I think we can give him a little reward afterwards.” Bruce went to beg again, only for Bridgit to lightly trail her fingers up to his underarms, prompting him to keep his mouth shut and bite his lips.

“Gotta warn you handsome; we won’t stop until we hear you laugh. Why not make it easy on yourself and just let it out?” Bruce shook his head, causing Bridgit to sigh before smirking as she dug her fingers into his underarms and Selina tickled his thighs, a place he didn’t even think was ticklish but Selina just had to prove him wrong. He giggled, chortled, and snorted behind closed lips, but still refused to out and out laugh, even when Bridgit switched to his stomach and Selina tickled his knees (seriously, knees could be a ticklish spot?). Though, when one of Bridgit’s fingers got close to his navel, he almost lost control, though sadly he knew Bridgit had seen it for what it was when she got a wicked gleam in her eyes before saying,

“He’s a tough nut to crack, Cat; I think we better up our game.” Selina released a very put-upon sigh as she responded,

“You asked for this Bruce.” Bridgit leaned over as Selina also stopped to get something, though just what Bruce could not see. When Bridgit pulled back, she held what appeared to be a makeup brush, making Bruce wander just what was she going to do with that. He wasn’t allowed to worry about it however as Selina grabbed the toes of his right foot and stretched them back as far as they would go, leaving his arch taut. He got the uneasy feeling he was about to face his Waterloo. Bridgit then leaned down and placed the brush on his stomach and started a slow spiral edging closer and closer to his navel. Soon, it was tracing the navel itself, and Bruce was shaking so bad with suppressed laughter, he thought he was going to pass out. Those soft, silky bristles felt like dragons teeth on his sensitive stomach. Bridget looked him straight in the eye, amber into green, and asked,

“Does our naughty pretty boy have a ticklish belly button?” Before Bruce could confirm or deny, Bridgit dug the makeup brush right into his navel to swirl it around same time as Selina lightly ran her nails up his foot. Actually, to Bruce’s horror, he realized Selina was wearing her gloves with the claws on them, and they were what she was lightly dragging up and down his foot. At the twin sensations, Bruce didn’t stand a chance and finally burst out,

“Hahahaha! P-please s-s-stop! I, I c-can’t t-t-take this!” Bruce hated how he was reduced to stuttering, but the girls were just too good. Selina kept her touch light to make sure her claws didn’t accidentally pierce the skin, but that didn’t make it any less intense as she used one claw to draw nonsensical patterns along his sole, first lines going up and down, then spirals on the ball and heel of his foot, then zig-zags across his arches. Bridgit meanwhile kept switching between the brush and her her finger digging into his navel. Sometimes, just to spice things up, she would use the brush on his navel while digging her fingers into his underarm. Her dual sensations of sharp and soft were driving him up the wall. Once, she even ran the brush over his nipple and as the silky smooth bristles ran along his slightly swollen nub, he didn’t know if he wanted to moan or bite his tongue off.

“You know, Bruce, for a guy who runs around as much as you do, you have really soft feet.” Selina casually remarked before she gave into temptation and ran her tongue up the sole in front of her, enjoying Bruce’s bucking as he almost screamed,

“S-Selina! P-pl-please s-stop! Hahahaha!” Bridgit then found a similar urge over taking her so she leaned down and ran her tongue along Bruce’s underarm, relishing in the squeal Bruce couldn’t hold back as she licked and nipped at the smooth skin there.

“Isn’t Bridgit beautiful, Bruce?” Selina asked before she nipped at his arch and soothed it with her tongue.

“V-v-very b-b-beautiful!” Bruce had started laughing so hard, he was actually crying a bit.

“Why don’t you show her how beautiful you think she is by eating her out?” As though convincing him of the idea, she tickled one sole with her claws and licked the other one, going so far as to take his pinky toe into her mouth and run her tongue all around it.

“A-anything y-you w-w-want!” Bruce was almost convinced he was having an out of body experience from the sensations. He took in a huge breath when they stopped while Bridgit moved to sit on his face, though he was surprised when she turned around so she would be facing Selina.

“If you think I’m going to stop tickling you and making you do that cute little laugh of yours, you’re as nuts as Selina says you are. Besides, this gives me better access to your cute little belly button.” Bruce whimpered before leaning forward to her center; he hadn’t had much practice with this, but he remembered a few drunken fumblings with Grace, and she directed him to what she liked and didn’t like, though this time he was hindered by only having his tongue and he was at the wrong angle to reach her clit. Still, he started by gently licking her inner lips with little nips here and there, and he heard her give a little moan.

“Looks like you haven’t been training your puppy enough Selina; he’s very shy, but seems like he’s -ah!- trying.” Bridgit stroked his hip as she spoke, and Selina smirked as she responded,

“Maybe we should encourage his tongue a bit more by way of example?” ‘Oh no, what now?’ Bruce whimpered before almost dislodging Bridgit when he bucked like a bronco at the feeling of tongues on his most ticklish spots. Selina repeated the action of putting his toes in her mouth and running her tongue and now teeth around them as she dragged her claws along the arch. Bridgit meanwhile leaned down and used her fingers to spider up and down his stomach as she stuck her tongue in his navel and swirled it around before nipping at the skin around it. As he laughed at such intense sensations, Bridgit moaned at the vibrations, causing her own tongue to vibrate in his navel, which made it tickle even more. He wondered about the heat that had started bubbling up in his stomach from all this; was he becoming aroused from being these powerful girls little tickle and sex toy?

[immortalcoelacanth]

HLVRAI Oneshot: Blankets and Burritos

I am weak, I crave gay fluff and family fluff...

Word count: 3428

Summary: Sometimes, Benrey has nightmares. It's a good thing Joshua has a plan to help out!

Gordon had long since accepted that Benrey was a naturally disruptive being. Between how absolutely chaotic he could be at times to his naturally blunt and occasionally abrasive attitude, the second he had moved in Gordon knew that his home would never be peaceful again. 

Granted, he had been surprised when Benrey began showing restraint when interacting with people, especially Joshua as the last thing he wanted was to upset the young boy. His jokes also lacked the more intimidating edge they held while they were in Black Mesa. Overall, his more destructive qualities had been toned down and he seemed to be far more at peace than the last time Gordon had seen the ex-guard. 

It was… nice, and while he had been hesitant at first to welcome Benrey into his home, he did not find himself regretting that decision. 

This did not mean that things were perfectly fine, of course. 

Benrey was… not the best at acting human, and it showed. There had already been several instances of Gordon getting up for a midnight snack and seeing at least two glowing eyes staring down at him from the ceiling. 

Absolutely horrifying. 

Plus, he had been forced to give Benrey a crash course on how humans acted and that no, he could not try and swallow the milk carton whole and please don’t walk up the side of a building and lean into a window to ask someone to play Smash Bros with you. 

Y’know, pretty simple things. Things that honestly would have made Gordon’s life a living hell if it was not for how accepting and understanding his neighbors were. 

Marguerite, a lovely, partially deaf old lady, had been especially happy to learn that Benrey had moved in with him, although Gordon was pretty sure that this was simply because she thought they were dating. She had been a huge source of help after his divorce, especially during some rather rough days. 

She had constantly pushed him to find something, or someone, that he could be happy with. Whether that was a hobby or a partner. 

He would never forget how scandalized he had felt when she first visited and saw Benrey. How she had looked the ex-guard up and down before turning to Gordon and winking at him. Her words forever burned into his mind. 

“This one will keep you busy, hands and mind.”

It had been one of the few times he had heard Benrey genuinely laugh, too. A loud, somewhat wheezing noise that made him curl up in a ball as he tried to control his laughter. It sounded nice and was something he wanted to hear more often.

And then... there were the nightmares. 

Moments where Benny's joy was smothered by something else, something he never expressed a desire to discuss. Gordon honestly had no clue what their source might be, whether caused some traumatic moment in Benrey’s past, or even the final fight between them, but whatever it was it could get bad.

Fortunately, these instances of nightmares were fairly quiet with Joshua never having woken up during them. Less fortunately, Gordon tended to be the one being startled awake since the ex-guard often slipped into his bed after he went to sleep, not that he cared all that much. In the beginning it had been a bit annoying to wake up and find Benrey downright spooning him, getting all into his personal space, and it had been a source of combat for several days until he and Benrey managed to sort things out. 

… Not that there was much of a conversation or anything like that. It was more so him listening to Benrey quietly insisting that he “needed someone”, and the gamer body pillow he purchased after that conversation had not helped in this regard. 

He loathed to think about it now, the wide eyes and flirtatious pose. Every so often it would move locations, going from being stuffed away in a closet to ominously being attached to the back of a door, and he was fairly certain Benrey was the one responsible for such a thing. 

Especially since Joshua claimed to have never seen it before, and he knew for a fact that the ex-guard was diligent in preventing Joshua from being exposed to more… mature jokes. 

Anyways, with Benrey continuing to seek out Gordon as a cuddle buddy and Gordon accepting his fate, and enjoying it, a solution to the nightmare problem still needed to be found. Aside from the growling, hissing, thrashing, and mutterings in some other language, Gordon had also nearly been crushed at one point after Benrey had, without warning, grown larger at some point during the night. 

He was thankful that the bed had not broken due to the sudden increase in weight. 

Currently, the physicist was seated in the living room, trying to put together some sort of solution that might help Benrey. Notepad in hand as he absent-mindedly chewed at the end of his pencil, thankfully lacking an eraser, he wrote down all the methods he had tried so far and what he might try next. 

Lists had always helped him keep his thoughts organized, and this was especially helpful given the mild chaos going on beside him. 

Otherwise known as Joshua and Benrey playing a racing game. 

Naturally, Joshua was currently speeding ahead of the ex-guard, throwing the occasional item back in an attempt to increase the distance between them. Unfortunately, with some quick maneuvers and calculated tricks, Benrey was able to dodge the attacks. 

“vroom, vroom, better watch out.”

“Nooooo!” 

“beep, beep!” 

“NOOOOOOOOOO!”

“you... you gotta go fast little dude, it’s the only way.”

“I am!” 

“gotta go faster.” 

“Faster?”

“faster, faster!” 

Gordon chuckled to himself as he listened to the pair break out in song, reciting the lyrics to some cartoon that they both watched. Saturday mornings were Benrey and Joshua’s designated bonding time as Benrey “educated josh bro on some pro gamer cartoons.”

As the race reached its conclusion, Joshua winning overall, the young boy carefully placed his controller down and then scrambled over to his father. He flung himself onto the sofa and leaned against Gordon’s side. Wide, eager eyes took in the notes. 

“Is this some work stuff?” Joshua asked, his eyes lighting up upon seeing the mention of blankets and pillows. “Are you guys gonna have a sleepover?! I can show you how to make an awesome pillow fort!”

“naaaaah,” Benrey casually slid into the conversation, both literally and figuratively. He perched on the armrest of the sofa, a smug grin on his face as he poked at the notepad. “he-he’s just writing ‘bout his crush.”

“Ooooh, so he’s writing about you?” 

“ya.” 

Gordon snorted and lightly thwacked one of Benrey’s fingers with the pencil, causing the ex-guard to let out a yelp before nursing the wounded digit. The exaggerated pout on his face made the physicist chuckle. 

“C’mon, don’t tell me that hurt you-”

“You gotta kiss it better, dad!” Joshua interrupted, placing his hands on Gordon’s leg and pushing himself up into his father’s face, eyes wide and pleading. “Like you did when I hurt my arm! Kisses make everything better!”

“yeah, feeman you-you gotta give me a biiiiiig old smoocher.” The smug grin had returned to Benrey’s face, and it grew wider at the exasperated look Gordon sent towards him. “it’s... it’s a joshie law, feetman, you gotta.”

After rolling his eyes, Gordon ultimately relented. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss against Benrey’s wounded finger. Despite how smug he had been about the entire situation, there was no denying the heat that took over his face. 

Was Benrey flustered? Yes, but he would never admit to it!

“u-uh…. nice smooch there, feetman. g-gotta give it a perfect score.”

Joshua giggled at the look on Benrey’s face, from the happy smile to the warm glow in his eyes, it was good to see the ex-guard so happy. When Benrey was happy, his dad was happy, and that made him happy! It was perfect!

However, speaking of his dad…

“So, what’s those notes for, then?” He asked, poking at the notes once again. “Benrey’s definitely wrong-”

“owie, ouch, your-your words hurt my bones, little joshie dude.”

The young boy stuck his tongue out at Benrey before he focused on his father and continued speaking. “Is it for work stuff? Or something else?”

It was impossible to miss the look the two adults exchanged upon hearing Joshua’s question, and it made him suspicious. Was this some adult thing he was not supposed to know? Oh, like that thing his classmate Danielle had mentioned-

“Erm, Benrey has been having some trouble sleeping at night and I’m trying to figure out how to help him.” Gordon explained, snapping Joshua out of his thoughts. “These are just some of the ideas I had that might help him relax.”

Joshua blinked, understanding what his father was saying but also wanting confirmation from Benrey. “So, you have nightmares and stuff?”

“uh... yeah.” The ex-guard shrugged as his hands twitched and knit themselves together, an expression of the general anxiety he felt towards the situation. Talking about himself, something he was always uncomfortable with despite the problems it caused. “like... i got some rank e dreams, little bro. i... i keep getting t-posed on and… stuff.”

“Oh!” Joshua lightly clapped his hands together, an idea immediately coming to mind on what he could do to help. “Stay right here, I’ll be back!”

As the young boy rushed to his room, Gordon and Benrey exchanged a confused look. 

“you... you, uh, know what joshie’s doing?”

“Nope, no idea.” Gordon shrugged before sending a smile Benrey’s way. “It’s nice to see him helping us out with this.”

Benrey looked down towards the ground, casting more of his face and the associated blush in shadows. “yeah. h-he’s a good kiddo, feetman.” 

“Damn right he is.”

Not long after this short conversation reached its conclusion, the sound of approaching footsteps could be heard and Joshua rushed back into the room with something rather large and bulky held in his arms, the ends of it dragging across the ground. 

It was his blanket, his weighted blanket to be specific. 

From a young age, Joshua had suffered through many bouts of nightmares and periods where he struggled to feel comfortable when going to sleep. This ultimately culminated in both his parents, who had been separated at this point, agreeing to take him to a sleep therapist and figure out what they could do to help. One of the methods they had been recommended to try was getting Joshua to use a weighted blanket to help him feel more secure and relaxed. 

While not solving all of his problems, he still occasionally visited the same therapist when dealing with a particularly bad bout of nightmares, the blanket, and the other coping methods he had been taught, had certainly helped. 

But the blanket continued to remain his primary source of comfort and seeing Joshua rush over to Benrey and hold the blanket out for the ex-guard to take made Gordon’s heart feel like mush. 

It was such a wholesome sight, and even if Benrey did not know the details behind why Joshua had this blanket, he was honored to see that Joshua wanted to use something of his to try and help. 

“awwww, little dude, you didn’t have to get this for me.” Benrey said, voice strangely soft and quiet. “you-you really didn’t need to.”

Joshua swiftly shook his head and once again thrust the blanket towards him. “This helped me a bunch, and now I want it to help you! Try it!” 

After sending an uncertain glance Gordon’s way, and being met with a reassuring thumbs up, he reached out and carefully took the blanket. He studied it for a moment, unaware of Joshua rocking back and forth in front of him and rubbed the material between his fingers. 

It felt… nice. Soft, but not too soft. 

The blanket was quickly wrapped around Benrey, and the ex-guard closed his eyes for a moment as he took in the sensation. It felt… comfortable. The added pressure of the blanket as it was draped across his shoulders did help him feel a bit more relaxed, reminding him of that.

That which he would never speak of. Old memories and forgotten places, a history that he never wanted to come to light, a name before Benrey. 

He quite liked the name Benrey, anyways. 

“Oh, oh dad!” Joshua suddenly shouted as he turned to look at his father, eyes shining with excitement. “How about you make a Benrrito!”

“... a wha?”

“Y’know!” Joshua spun to face Benrey as he made a rolling motion with his hands. “Burritoing! Dad does it to me a bunch!” 

Upon seeing the somewhat panicked look on Benrey’s face, Gordon quickly stepped in. He stood up, the action helping to calm the other two down, and gestured towards the floor. 

“If you wanna try it, we’re gonna need space.”

“you... you coming on to me, feetman?”

“NO, I AM NOT!”

Joshua giggled at the banter, not quite getting it but happy to see that his father had managed to get Benrey to relax a bit. He watched as the blanket was spread on the ground, patted out so there were no wrinkles before Benrey laid down on top of it. 

… Actually, Benrey looked a bit smaller than he normally did! Joshua knew most people would find such a thing strange, but he had long since gotten used to the occasional shape shifting that the ex-guard tended to do. 

Be it helping him reach food that was too high on the shelves or giving him piggyback rides, Joshua instinctively associated Benrey’s shape shifting with fun, unlike his father. 

Perhaps it was quite fortunate that Gordon was unaware of the shenanigans that these two sometimes got into. 

Regardless, as soon as Benrey was set up and ready to go, Gordon got to work. He flipped the edge of the blanket, so it was covering Benrey, and slowly started to roll the other man up. As he was turned over and over, the ex-guard’s smile began to grow larger and larger. 

Oh yes, he could just feel the potential chaotic energy. 

Once the burritoing process was complete, Gordon stepped back to admire his handiwork. At this point, only Benrey’s head and feet were sticking out of the burrito, and the constant glowing of his eyes seemed a bit duller than usual. A stream of pink to red sweet voice floated into the air. 

Joshua giggled and immediately started playing with the bubbles while Gordon lifted a brow and crossed his arms. “What’s that mean?”

“bbbbbbbb,” The string of noises made Gordon smile as he patiently waited for Benrey’s response.

“pink’n red means… i’m gonna bed.” Benrey yawned. Okay, chaotic energy replaced by exhaustion, which was… strange to say the least. 

And clearly Gordon agreed with that thought as his brow lifted higher in surprise. “Really? A burrito did you in?”

“ya.” Benrey bluntly replied as he wiggled around a bit, smushing his face into the blanket. “s’nice, cozy… me likey.”

“Operation Benrrito is a success!” Joshua cheered, high-fiving his father in victory. He then let out a sudden gasp and started bouncing in excitement.

“Dad, this means we gotta help him get a blanket! Can we go shopping tomorrow? Please? Pretty please? I can show Benrey all the super cool patterns they have, and the special stuffed animals too!”

Gordon spared a glance at the absolutely blissed out Benrey, who was currently radiating the energies of a content cat going for a nap, before smiling at his son and nodding. “Looks like we’re going to need to.”

“Yay!” Joshua exclaimed and crouched down in front of the ex-guard. “There’s a whole buncha space patterns and stuff like that one! There’s also ones that’re swirls of colours and they look super cool!”

“bbbbbbbbbb.” Benrey grinned, sharp teeth glinting in the light. “Alright then, little dude. let’s... let’s goooooooooo.”

And with that, Benrey slowly started inching towards the door as Gordon and Joshua watched on. The young boy took a step forward, thoroughly intending to join him before his dad placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled him back. 

“No way we’re going out now.” He frowned. “It’s busy, and-”

“the karens are out?” Benrey cheekily added. 

“... Yeah, the last thing I want to deal with.” Gordon sighed, placing his face in his hands as he recalled the various interesting encounters he had at that specific mall. It was located in the more affluent section of the neighborhood, and the customers tended to reflect that. 

Ugh, with his luck he would probably end up running into her there-

“Joshie, I know you’re excited, so we’ll go tomorrow as soon as the store opens.” He exhaled as he lifted his face out of his hands and opened his eyes. To his surprise, Joshua did not seem disappointed in the slightest despite how enthusiastic he had been earlier. 

Granted, it definitely helped that Joshua had been the one to suggest going shopping tomorrow. It was not unusual for his father to forget minor details after experiencing some stress and recalling those lovely interactions has certainly been stressful. 

But the young boy felt there was no point in mentioning it, so he didn’t. 

“It’s okay, dad!” Joshua chirped. “But you should probably stop Benrey from escaping.”

“Wha?!” Gordon whirled around and noticed that Benrey had continued to inch towards the door and was now pressed up against it. Probably trying to clip through it since his arms were stuck at his sides. 

The physicist sighed once more, this time in annoyance, before striding over to the door and looking down at Benrey. “What’re you doing?”

“uhhhhhhhh.... y-yo mama.”

“I...there’s no words to describe how disappointed I feel, and you can’t go out like that anyways.”

“i’mma worm off the string, man. look at me gooooooo.”

“You’re not a worm! You’re a burrito!” Joshua chimed in, leaning around his father and smiling at Benrey. 

“noooooo, m-my evil plot… has been foiled.” Benrey dramatically, and somewhat lazily, wailed. He started rolling over to emphasize his apparent defeat. “i’m worming, woooooorming.”

At this point, Joshua had broken down into a fit of laughter and even Gordon had a small smile on his face. Deciding to play along with Benrey’s shenanigans, the physicist made his move. 

Now, it goes without saying that Gordon was not a weak man. Even without the added benefits of the HEV suit, he was no stranger to some forms of exercise. 

Primarily lifting Joshua up into the air as his son loved to feel like he was flying. 

In other words, without warning Gordon crouched down and scooped Benrey, in all his burrito’d glory, up. Rather than being slung over his shoulder, as the ex-guard was still heavier than Joshua and the last thing Gordon wanted was to potentially hurt his shoulder or back, he opted for an easier carry. 

Bridal style. 

Of course, he had not completely thought his plan through, so when he suddenly found Benrey’s face very close to his, his response was immediately and instinctive. 

He blushed, badly. 

Upon seeing this blush, and realizing his sudden proximity to Gordon’s face, Benrey smirked and made a move of his own. 

By leaning forward and quickly kissing the tip of Gordon’s nose. 

Needless to say, at this point both men were blushing. 

Joshua could be heard happily clapping his hands together in the background, and it was this noise that snapped Gordon out of his stunned state. He, somewhat awkwardly, shuffled over to the sofa and plopped Benrey down on it. The, still blushing, ex-guard did nothing except try to sink into the blanket burrito further. 

It was obvious he had no intention of being unburrito’d, for now. 

Gordon sighed and looked over at Joshua. “You okay with using your other blanket tonight?”

“The cowboy one?”

“Yeah.”

“Mhm!” The young boy quickly nodded. “Can you wash it first, please? I don’t want it to be smelly and gross.”

“You got it.” Gordon replied with a thumbs up. As he left to go and fix up Joshua’s other blanket, Joshua could be seen joining Benrey on the sofa and huddling beside him, quietly discussing the different kinds of blankets he had seen and how comfy some of them were. It was quite an adorable sight, and one that held potential. 

The potential for Gordon to make two burritos today, that is. 

                                        xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was actually kind of a struggle to finish this oneshot off, it kept getting longer and longer and my muse keeps spitting more ideas at me XD

Also, 10 bonus points to whoever gets the cartoon reference I added in!

I hope you all enjoyed reading!

- ImmortalCoelacanth

[pineappuu-pineappley]

Forest Secrets (Yokai AU Hiroji)

A oneshot self-ship fic becasue I drew one (1) smol art and I,, honestly couldn’t get enough;;; I haven’t written anything for more or less 10 years and this is the first thing I made kkjskfs

I just wanted to put this somewhere without yeeting a gdocs link so here I guess

The leaves crunched beneath my feet as I reached a small clearing within the forest. I breathed in the scent of damp soil a little too hard and sneezed, still not used to how strong my sense of smell has become. It has been a few years since papa's seal had worn off, along with its expiry came a furry set of ears and a tail I never knew I was supposed to have. 

Living with Rei jiejie made it a tiny bit easier to come to terms with not being fully human, even though it was a total disaster when we both found out that my weird eyes and sharp fangs were supposed to be normal. I hummed a little song to myself as I paced around, stepping on leaves that looked extra crunchy before stretching towards the sky and yelling. Some startled birds weaved through the trees and flew off. I giggled, yelling felt great, especially in the forest where I could be as loud as I wanted.

A few times a week, I would come to this clearing in the forest to talk to a few of papa's old friends. We met at the mountain side once and they had recognised me. Since it was still dangerous to wander around in the open, being a yokai-human hybrid, they told me to look for them in the forest right by jiejie’s home. So far, I had met them again a few times to learn more about papa and the yokai realm. They have also been a huge help to my understanding of their kind. Jiejie has taught me much too, but only the general bits.

I sat on a stump and waited for them to arrive, long enough to almost doze off. They were never late so this was...unusual. 

Ah, I forgot, they were busy with something in the yokai realm today. I huffed, kicking a rock over. Oh well, at least the forest is calming. 

Suddenly, my ears twitched, picking up faint rustling of leaves. I turned my head towards the sound, sniffing as I pulled out the kanzashi that was holding my bun up and brandished it towards the source of the noise. Narrowing my eyes, I listened harder as the rustling stopped. It started again, a little louder this time. I smell, something, someone familiar…

"Oi! I can smell you, you know," I called out, still not relaxing my stance. It may smell familiar but I still do not fully trust my sense of smell. A soft "poof" sounded behind me, followed by the crunch of leaves. I whipped back, kanzashi still firm in my grip, and growled.

"Hoo, so fierce," he cooed, holding his hands up in mock surrender, "now, now, Hiro-chan, no mischief from me today, I promise!" I cocked an eyebrow and hesitantly lowered my kanzashi. It was just Tanuki. I could have accidentally stabbed him again since he kept appearing like that.

"My, my," he continued, "your senses have gotten stronger since the last time I've seen you. How have you been?"

I pouted, shaking the hairstick in his direction and mumbled something about him being lucky I never stab him for constantly scaring me like that. He always appears out of nowhere and he really likes stealing my kanzashi right off my head. I had only recently managed to make this prankster promise not to touch my kanzashi, but sometimes it feels like he lied about it, a stinky one he is.

I put my hair back up in a bun, sighing a little, "Just normal I guess. Today I learnt how much I can shed. Imagine how much more if I could turn full wolf!" I picked a stray piece of hair off my sleeve. Was it head hair or tail hair? I can't tell anymore.

"Hm, hm, shedding really is a big deal alright. Did you brush your tail?" He asked, picking a leaf off my head and studying it, before placing it on the stump.

"Just about a hundred times. Is it shedding season or something? I wouldn't know, I forgot to ask." A few years didn't feel so long, everything was still new to me. I felt my ears droop a little, that still felt kind of weird. "Hey, Tanuki, tell me how it feels like to be a full yokai."

"Hmm," he drawled, placing his hand on his chin, "I would tell you, but you gotta call me by name," he smirked, eyeing me as I sat back down on the stump, chin in my hands. 

I raised an eyebrow, "Why? Can't I just call you tanuki?" I tilted my head, stifling a giggle when he pouted. "Hey, come on now. I told you what it was right? Unless, you forgot?" He squatted in front of me, copying my pose somewhat.

"Hm, maybe I did forget your name, Mr. Tanuki," I lied, hiding my smile behind my hands. 

"Oh? Then I'll just teach you again until you know it. It's Ko. To. Bu. Ki. Say it with me, dear," he tilted his head, waiting for me to repeat it.

"Okay, Koto-stinky, got it," I smiled innocently, watching him sink onto the ground. 

“Aw, I didn’t teach you my name just for you to butcher it,” he whined, voice muffled in his sleeve. He’s so pouty today, I wonder if he's really as old as he says he is.

"Alright fine, Kotobuki onii-san, happy now?" He shot up from the ground so fast, startling me, with a stupid grin plastered on his face. 

"Atta girl," he praised, tapping my nose. I felt my cheeks burn a little and I tried to cover them a little more in my palms.

"Hehe, you even tacked on an ‘onii-san’, how lucky am I," he teased, his grin turning into a little smirk. Suddenly, I am unable to look him in the eye. “Oho?” he mused, gaze focused at something… behind me? 

Oh.

"Looks like your tail has been wagging ever since I got here. Am I seeing things or did it get faster? Hiro-chan must be really happy to see me, huh?" He pointed out, tapping his chin and shifting his gaze back to me, seemingly amused when I scrambled to grab that cursed thing. It is way too hard to lie about being excited now because of it, and even worse, I didn't even notice it wagging so hard. 

"Don't look!" I whined, cheeks burning hotter. It only made him laugh more. I swear I heard him mumble something about me being cute as I used my tail to cover my face. I could feel my heart race and my breath hitch slightly. I always looked forward to seeing the tanuki spirit but hearing him say that he knew was just so embarrassing.

"Enough about the tail, tell me how it is being a full yokai," I blurted out clumsily, brushing my fur with my fingers in an attempt to calm down. I stared down at it as I brushed, waiting for a reply.

"Well, about that," he started, my eyes snapping back up to watch him carefully, "I don't know how to explain it to ya," a nervous laugh escaped as he scratched the back of his head. He probably sensed my disappointment since he scrambled to add on, "but y'know it's just a part of you. I’ve only ever been a tanuki spirit and I wouldn’t be able to describe it fully. You just gotta experience it yourself! What's more special is that you're half a human too, so you make your own definition of what it means to be a yokai," He smiled gently, raising his hand towards my head.

My disappointment at his vague answer and weird advice disappeared as soon as I noticed his smile. My cheeks flushed and my heart rate quickened again, I haven’t seen him smile like that before. I snapped out of it when he patted my head. Unconsciously, I nuzzled against his hand. It feels so warm... I accidentally let out a contented sigh when he started stroking my hair. Tanuki is patting me and it makes me so wiggly inside. 

He suddenly stopped patting my head and I opened my eyes again, pouting and whining softly. Instead, he held my hands and pulled on them gently to get me to stand up. 

"Actually, I came by today to ask you something important." I blinked, looking down at our hands then back up at him. He was looking directly at me with a serious look on his face. I felt a small shiver down my spine. It was so unusual to see Tanuki like this. I couldn’t look directly at him, nor could I hide the growing blush on my cheeks. “Hiro-chan,” he spoke, his voice sounding a little deeper than usual. I jumped, squeaking out a soft “yes?”. To think that I was able to wield my weapon against him earlier but yet be able to be reduced to a quaking mess just because Tanuki decided to get serious for once was embarrassing. He hesitated. I waited, heart pounding hard in my chest, trying to think of what he was going to say next.

“Do you like me?” he asked, keeping the same intense gaze.

Nothing could have prepared me for that.

“Y-yes, of course, we’re friends, right?” I answered shakily. What kind of question was that? Tanuki knows he is my friend, doesn’t he? Why did he have to ask? For some reason, I knew it wasn't the answer he wanted, nor was it the answer I wanted to give. My breath too was shaky, I don’t want him to know what I really thought. I don’t want us to not be friends anymore because he might think that a weird kid like me has a cru-, taken a liking to him. After all, he had been around for quite a long time, I'm sure he would have known better yokais, or humans. 

"No, I mean, do you like me." Ah, I knew it.

I shifted my weight from one leg to the other, trying to avoid his eyes as much as possible. He waited patiently as I racked my brain to come up with an excuse. With the way I have been acting around him lately, it was hard to deny anything. Even my brain refused to conjure up a denial that sounded convincing enough. Not to mention, he had already figured out that much just from looking at my tail. A furless, tailless life was so much easier back then...

'You know what, maybe I'll just tell him. He might just stop teasing me so much.' I thought to myself. However, the possibility of not getting teased anymore hung heavy on my heart. I really liked it when he fools around. I think I just like Tanuki, a whole lot.

I took a deep, shaky breath, and finally opened my mouth, "yes, Kotobuki-san, I r-really like you," I half-whispered, staring holes into the ground, accidentally gripping his hands because I was shaking so much.

A sigh escaped his lips. It startled me, but it sounded like relief?

I felt my hands rise, soft lips pressed against them. I looked up shyly to watch him, as I did so, I felt him smile against my knuckles.

"Ah, I'm so glad," he spoke softly, letting go of one of my hands to brush a stray hair out of my face. His gentle smile once again adorned his face, the sight of it warms my heart immensely. "That means I can give you my little present now, hm?" he smiled wider. I tilted my head, confused. 

He cupped my cheek, stroking it lightly. I nuzzled his hand again, it just feels so nice. "Stay still and close your eyes if you trust me," he said, gently tilting my face up. I know this, I think. I’ve seen Ran-nii do it with jiejie many times. I am not sure why they kept doing it though.  

I stopped nuzzling him and squeezed my eyes shut, then decided to peek. He chuckled, “no peeking, that’s not playing fair.” I pouted and closed my eyes again, feeling my heart thump loudly in my chest. I hope he can’t hear it, it’s so loud that I can’t even hear the forest anymore. 

I felt him shift closer and I tensed up. Gosh, everything sounds and feels so loud now. I could feel his face hovering so close, hesitating slightly before his lips pressed gently against mine. Then, I felt him smile against them before he pulled back, and my eyes fluttered open. 

“Again,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. I am well aware of how wildly my tail is wagging and it probably looks ridiculous but I feel like my heart is about to explode. My face is on fire and I'm about to die, but… I wanted to do it again.

I pressed my hands against his on my cheek and nuzzled, pouting. If Tanuki gave me a kiss, it meant he liked me back, right? Would he give me another one? 

He laughed, grinning widely, “Oh? Hiro-chan really likes the little kissy, shall I give her another?" he teased, closing the distance between us again. If I could catch fire right now, I probably would have done so. 

Tanuki is back to normal, he's teasing me again, watching me shift uncomfortably under his gaze as he hovered close. I pulled on my sleeves, trying my best to look him in the eye. He tilted my chin up again and I accidentally whined. He only chuckled again, "so cute," he whispered, before placing another soft kiss on my lips. This time, I shyly kissed back, hearing the soft smack of our lips made me giggle. I covered my mouth with my sleeves as we parted, wiggling hard and giggling uncontrollably. He just watched, looking with such a soft expression that could make me melt. 

The sun started to set, and I suddenly realised how late it was becoming. 

"Ah shoot, I have to go home now!" I paced around frantically, but I really didn't want to go just yet. I grabbed Tanuki's hand, "Kotobuki onii-," 

"Onii-san? Hm, I thought I would be your boyfriend already," he interrupted cheekily, holding my hand in his. Ah, the wiggles are back. 

"B-boyfriend?" I asked, trying to hide behind my sleeve again, but I couldn't stop giggling. 

"You don't want that? Aw, but I thought you liked me," he pouted, at the same time he laced his fingers between mine. I slapped his arm softly. "You didn't ask. I thought you had to ask, I don't know. You're onii-san right, tell me!" I spoke too fast, my tail wagging wildly again. 

"Asking huh, well then. Hiro-chan," my ears perked up, "do you want to be my girlf-," I nodded before he finished his sentence. He laughed, stroking my head and placed a kiss on the top of it. This side of Tanuki is so gentle...

"See, I didn't really need to ask, did I?" He grinned, pulling me along as he started walking towards home. "You need to go home now, right? I'll walk you." Oh, I forgot about going home again. 

"About that," 

"Hm?"

"I don't know if jiejie or Ran-nii would let me, um," I held his hand tighter, "d-date."

"Ah, so this will be our little secret then," he answered, "at least until I'm sure they won't make me into soup." 

A secret, huh. Our little secret… The thought of it makes my heart speed up again. 

"I don't know how long I can keep it, Ran-nii is very sharp," I pouted, slowing down when I could see the edge of the forest. 

"I can handle it just fine, don't worry," he assured me, "after all, you'll be by my side, right?" We stopped walking and he let go of my hand. My ears drooped a little again, I still wanted to stay just a little longer. He noticed it and pinched my cheek softly. "Hey, I'll see you again tomorrow, okay? I'll show you a pretty little spot I found. Don't miss me too much," he chuckled, pulling me into a quick hug. I sniffed his chest. He smells good, not stinky at all. I gave a quick nuzzle and perked up immediately, "okay." 

My ears twitched, I can hear jiejie calling for me. I hesitantly let go of him and walked towards the house, waving him goodbye as he winked and disappeared back into the forest. I thought back to the things he said and did and blushed again, then decided to run the rest of the way to the house. A cover-up for my racing heart and pink cheeks, I thought, as the leaves crunched loudly at every step I took. 

I returned home safely but I can't wait to get back out and see him in our forest again...

[mysticsparklewings]

Ziggy Crossing

Still not quite sure I'm 100% back into the swing of things (posting regularly and being more present) yet, but time will tell. For now I'm testing the waters. Anyway. In the time I've been away, I ended up talking to some friends about (to the surprise of absolutely no one) Animal Crossing, and in that conversation, the idea of drawing my cat, Ziggy, as an Animal Crossing villager came up. I'd toyed with it before after seeing some other people draw their pets as villagers, and that conversation more or less sealed the deal for me to at least try it, even if my attempt didn't pan out and see the light of day. Obviously, things went pretty well because here I am posting this. The first step, as it is 90% of the time for me, was to come up with a sketch and go from there. I primarily used Olivia and Lolly [pre-existing Animal Crossing cat villagers] as my references--Olivia for the pose and eyes, Lolly for the stripes and some details regarding the ears and face--but I also checked certain things across the various cat villager models so that details could be consistent where they needed to be. I think if I missed the mark anywhere, it's probably in the proportions. Namely the size of the head and length of the body. But I think it's close enough that unless you compare it directly to Olivia's model that I referenced for the pose, the proportions aren't so off that it's distracting or off-putting. I did originally have trouble figuring out what pattern to put on her shirt though because the real Ziggy doesn't really have anything I could pull a pattern from. These days she does wear a white and silver collar, but that's not a whole lot to work with. So I left that alone while I pondered how I wanted to go about coloring the whole thing. My plan at the beginning was to use this sketch as a test piece for some acrylic paint markers I recently acquired (which you will be seeing me talk about in the future), but once the sketch was finished and I went back to check the colors I had (you know me; gotta have a swatch chart for everything), it was pretty obvious that if I want this to be my dear Ziggy and not just a random tabby cat, I needed to figure out a different coloring method. I could have just done regular acrylic paint, but that sounded like a chore and thus I was not interested. Same with gouache. Colored pencils were on the table, but the main problem I have with those is that they can be pretty slow and personally I think their texture really lends them better to replicating the 3DS/Animal Crossing: New Leaf style, as opposed to the look of New Horizons, and that's not what I was going for here. That left me with two main options: Watercolor, which was a hard pass for this kind of art (at least for Ziggy herself), and alcohol markers, which I did use quite a bit on the last Animal Crossing artwork I made, and they had worked out fairly well. Alcohol markers it was! Of course, even after that decision was made, there was the issue of how to handle the lines of the drawing. When I was planning on using the paint pens/acrylic markers/whatever, that seemed a lot simpler because, in theory, I could just use the same pen I wanted to color with to do the outlines and then fill them in. And because that would be using mostly opaque paint, if I needed to I could just cover up any overlap with relative ease. Alcohol markers don't play by the same rules though, so I had to re-think all that. In the end, I pulled out a pale warm gray Polychromos pencil close to the main color of alcohol marker that I had picked out that I figured would also be light enough to blend in everywhere else. That way I could have the defining lines that I needed without having to worry too much about them being visible in the final product. [For clarification: I picked a Polychromos because once sharpened they tend to hold a point longer and better than the other colored pencils at my disposal and I really needed to keep a sharp point as long as possible to do the lines here.] In retrospect, I do think it might have been to my benefit to pick out a pink for doing the inner ear lines, but the end result there isn't so awful that it single-handedly (paw-ed-ly?) ruins the drawing for me. It's just something to take note of for next time if there is a "next time." Once I had my lines (including doing the eyelashes and mouth with one of my usual black fineliners), the next challenge was the actual coloring. Mostly because I had to be very careful around the edges so that the marker ink didn't feather out too far (as alcohol markers do on any paper that isn't marketed as "bleed proof" because that's what bleed proof in paper actually means--not that it won't bleed through to the other side, though that is less common with that kind of paper, but that it won't "bleed" across the page), and I also had to be a little careful and choosy about how I did any blending or shading. Again, my blending and shading plan was going to be different had I used the acrylic markers. The main thing I ended up doing here was trying to find areas that needed to be layered so that the one-color shading could act as a line/barrier between sections. Best example: Where the ears meet the head, I shaded the bottom portion of the ears. You can also see this a little bit where Ziggy's tail meets her body and where the legs intersect at a few different points. By no means did this turn out perfectly, considering that I really wanted to stick to use as few colors as possible (which means pretty much all the shading is just layers of one color to darken it) which means there isn't as much distinction or variation as there could be. And I feel it necessary to note here that I was worried when I first finished the lines that the eyes looked wonky, but after coloring pretty much everything else in that concern dissolved because 1. It's harder to tell and 2. Even if they aren't exactly the same, it makes visual sense because it looks like her head is slightly turned, meaning the eyes wouldn't be identical anyway. Never underestimate the power of coloring your work in! Speaking of which, you might be wondering about her shirt by now. Well, after toying around with some ideas I got it in my head that a good way to tackle that problem might be with washi tape, as I've used it in this manner before and worked out pretty nicely. Even though it wasn't a lot to work with, I did like the idea of the base color for her top being white like the real Ziggy's collar, and that narrowed down my tape options considerably. Of the options I had that I thought would be suitable, I ended up having a choice between one with small rainbow-colored polka dots and the decidedly less vibrant small triangles that you see here. The polka dots seemed a little too peppy for Ziggy, so I went with the triangles. And this, I must say, is one of those artistic decisions that I feel even better about the longer that I see the end product.   The main issue I have with using washi tape, and thus why I don't use it in this way that often, is because cutting the washi tape to fit a specific shape is a process that doesn't get much easier even with practice.  And even if it did, that wouldn't eliminate the very real possibility of cutting or indenting the paper underneath while you're cutting the tape. Of which, I have not yet figured out how to totally avoid short of forming the washi tape on a separate piece of paper, cutting it there, and then moving it to the final piece. But that method comes with its own problems too, so... Still, I made the decision to go through with it here and just accept the rough edges/lack of precision and all that. Before I put the tape down though, I did do a little shading with some light gray markers that I was counting on showing through the tape to give it a little more dimension. Seeing it now, I do think I could've stood to go a little darker, but again this isn't something that totally ruins the end result for me. Just something worth noting. After all of the above, I was left with one lingering problem: The background. Which I've noticed seems to normally be a "problem" area for me in that I don't always have a solid idea for what to do with it. I did consider what exactly I wanted to do earlier on in the process, before I started on Ziggy on the final paper, even. Briefly, I thought I might cut her out and put her on a separate background as is sort of a go-to background method for me. Something just didn't feel right about doing that here though and it feels like I've done that a lot lately (you know, when I've not been drowning in mandalas for NaPoWriMo...). So it was at this early stage that I locked in the idea of adding in the background in later, probably doing something kind of loose to give a general idea that hopefully wouldn't take too much time or effort. We've already established that I wasn't super keen on the idea of using acrylic paints or gouache for this drawing, and that remained true for the background too. Although, I don't really like using alcohol markers for backgrounds either because it can be tricky to keep things smooth and consistent. That left me with colored pencils and watercolor. Colored pencils are usually hard pass for backgrounds for me for a number of reasons. So! Watercolor, hmm... I drew Ziggy here on my darling Strathmore 400 series mixed media paper because I love how it handles markers and it has enough weight and texture to it that it handles a lot of my other go-to options with little fuss. Watercolor is really the only thing I have trouble using on it, the main problem being that sometimes (not always) the paint doesn't like to blend out super smoothly and certain watercolor techniques don't work the same on it. This doesn't mean it's useless for watercolor (at least not for me), that just means I have to be more careful about how I choose to work with watercolor on it. In this case, the blending issues lined up with the idea I had of letting the background have more texture since Ziggy came out a lot smoother by the very nature of alcohol markers. Somewhere in all this, the idea struck me to use my Gelatos to leave behind some crayon-like texture. That idea seemed fitting to me since Animal Crossing is a fairly light-hearted and child-friendly game, themes that crayons go along with. The gelatos are water-soluble but not every color dissolves completely when activated with water. This should be pretty evident here because I didn't try to hide it. I wanted quick and easy, and without a doubt just letting the texture do whatever it wants is the quick n' easiest method to use with the gelatos. Once I'd done a bit of back and forth with two greens and two blues to give me the solid suggestions of a sky and ground, it still felt like it was missing something. Ultimately, it seemed like a good idea to me to try and mimic the triangle pattern/texture that New Horizons features. (In past games you could get squares or circles for a grass pattern at random.) And while I as per usual I had to think on how to go about this, in the end, the best solution I could come up with turned out to be drawing the triangles in with alcohol markers. Truly, I'm surprised to be reporting this because I fully expected the creamy nature of the gelatos to make using alcohol markers on top feel disguising and unproductive. But not so! At least not with the limited gelato use here. The creamier areas do soften the color of the marker, but I think that worked to my advantage. Although, I did end up using a little bit of my yellow Moonlight gel pen because I felt like I needed some yellow triangles for balance and I knew transparent yellow markers wouldn't do what I wanted. But that brings us to the final product. I'm happy with it. And I do really like how the grass ties in with Ziggy's green eyes. It's just a nice little touch of visual cohesion in my book. As I always say, I'm sure it's not perfect and there are some missteps here and there or things that could be improved. Nevertheless, it was a fun experiment and serves as good encouragement for me to continue playing with the lineless look, among other things. I do have to note though that it feels super weird to just leave the eyes like this with no indication of shine on them! I made the choice not to since it's not a common trait with the official character models (at least not for eyes in this same style) but part of me still feels like it's incomplete. As I've said before recently and I'll probably say again, I can't promise I'll be getting back to a regular upload schedule now, but it's on my mind. I want to get to that point soon. I do have the acrylic markers I mentioned to talk about and another supply in the mail, and some other art in my backlog. So if you can be patient with me a while longer, there will be more from me to look forward to. In the meantime, please be kind to yourself and others. ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram 

[tasharii]

Your Colors: Ch.1.

A/N: I was hoping for this to be a oneshot, but it got out of hand very quickly, and became a full, multi-chapter fic. This is for @writingcroissant ‘s 2k challenge. I picked the Artist AU, and ran with it. 

I also couldn’t help but create the mood board that you see. Gotta love visual inspiration! I might make one themed for every chapter, not sure yet. This is my first fanfiction ever, so please let me know what you think. I’ll update the warnings with every chapter if something changes.

Summary:  Art was the one good thing between college, work, and the grey minutes in-between. Sometimes, it felt like she wasn’t alive at all. Just drifting. When she joined her new art class, she never expected to start experiencing everything in an entirely new light. All thanks to him. Or: Where Bucky Barnes gets more than he bargained from his new drawing partner.

Pairing: Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 11.5K

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language, violence, attempted assault

Masterlist

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11  Chapter 12  Chapter 13

****

A cool draft of air pricked goosebumps up across her skin, and she suppressed the urge to shiver. One wrong movement would break her pose. The floral duvet under her was soft, but her knees were starting to ache from holding the position for so long. Her hands were curled against the tops of her thighs, as if she just rose up to kneel on her bed. Y/N’s head was tilted just a little, her hair pulled over one shoulder, facial expression calm. It was hard to stay that way, though. She could feel his eyes on her like blinding sunshine.

The lighting was controlled by mismatched lamps, keeping it consistent and gentle, almost intimate. Three lights were situated around her bed. One by the headboard behind her, another standalone closer, above her head to the left, and the last was further away on a chair in front of her. All the ceiling lights were switched off, and the windows were covered. It was just enough light to keep her bedroom area illuminated, but the rest of the apartment was coated in inky shadows.

Even with the heat on high, the loose, sheer long sleeve blouse she wore wasn’t quite warm enough. Goosebumps crawled up her bare thighs, disappearing underneath her jean shorts. Y/N’s studio apartment always ran on the edge of nippy. The stained tan carpet couldn’t block out the chill. The mass of tall windows on her back wall, across from the door, loved to let the fall air creep in. At least the windows gave a beautiful view of New York’s sparkling skyline. Being on the 14th floor did have some perks.

“You’re frowning again.” His voice broke through her train of thought. It made her shoulders tense up to her ears before she forced them back down. Subtly she flexed her fingers in and out of fists, trying to shake the anxiety. “Do you need a break?”

Y/N let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding “No, I’m alright.” She peaked at him from just within her peripheral vision. He was drawing her from a 3-quarter view, a little lower rather than straight on. A chair had been pulled over from her living-room area, and he lounged back in it. One foot propped up on a stool; other on his knee. His large sketchpad rested on his lap, and tucked up close to his face. Pale blue eyes focused on her with such intensity she felt another flush crawl from her chest down to her toes and up to her ears. This was one part of life drawing that she could never quite get used to.

His eyes drifted over her body, taking in every single detail. First trailing across the waves in her hair, then he paused on her lips, passed down to her torso, arms, legs, and lastly he focused on the paper. Bottom lip tucked underneath his teeth, he scraped against the page in small fluid strokes. The rasping of charcoal eased some of the heat that sparked across her skin. Then he looked up again, loose strands of hair falling across his forehead.

Bucky met her eyes for a couple seconds. Her heartbeat picked up again at being caught staring. Then he dropped his charcoal back down into its open case on the end table beside his chair. He let his socked feet down. Placed his sketchpad on the stool and rubbed at the black smudges on his fingers “I think I’m done anyway. I wanna get a drink real quick, then I’ll pose for you.” He wiped the smudges on his jeans as he stood up.

‘Oh thank god’  Y/N thought, then fell back onto her butt, rolling into a sitting position. Stretching her arms above her head, she cracked her back. As she rolled her stiff joints, she listened for Bucky’s footsteps. The light flicked on for her corned off kitchen area. It was all the way on the other side of the apartment, but she heard the fridge door open without one single footstep. He was so damn quiet. Like a ghost. Maybe it was just because of the carpet.

“Can you get me a coke?” She called, scooting to sit on the edge of the bed and then standing. Tingles trailed down her legs, feet asleep, and she awkwardly shook them off. With a couple bouncing steps she went over to the stool. Y/N didn’t dare touch it, didn’t want to smear any of his strokes. Instead, she just moved over so she could peer down at his latest masterpiece.

It had taken him a little over 30 minutes to draw her. Bucky always, somehow, made her look far more beautiful than any mirror had ever done for her. Her hair looked wavy and graceful as it framed her face, and she appeared to be deep in thought. As if she was captured in the moment between deciding to do something and moving into action. Y/N wished she could say that he drew her wrong, made her look like someone else. A girl far more elegant and pretty than her, but it would be an insult to his skill. Bucky captured her truer to herself than anyone else in the world. It was like he saw inside of her. Saw what she was made of and brought it to the surface.

Somehow, he did it every single time.

This was the fourth time he had been over for an art homework session. Probably drawn her upwards of thirty times now between all the impression sketches, and various timed drawings. Always in charcoal. Always with beautiful accuracy.

“What do you think?” Y/N felt something cold and damp brush her arm. She jumped a little bit and whipped around to glare at Bucky for spooking her. He was standing a good foot away, but his arm had stretched out to offer her the canned soda.

Snatching the drink from him, she took a couple calming breaths, and ignored his small smirk “I think this one’s your best so far. You’re getting better with the lighting.”

Now that she was aware of him, he took another step closer. Unconsciously, his right arm brushed hers as he tilted his head, eyeing the drawing critically “Still can’t get your damn nose right.”

“Got a problem with it?” She teased, sipping on her drink and studying the illustration. Honestly, she didn’t notice anything wrong with it. Her 2D nose looked about as accurate as the rest of her. Curling her bare toes into the carpet, she noticed the feeling had finally come back to them.

Bucky glanced up at her and scowled accusingly “Ya, it’s disproportionate to your face.” The light from the lamp on the chair accented his pout, deepening the dimple under his lip.

Y/N couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that came out of her. It was such an absurd, random comment. Still, she pressed her lips and eyebrows down. Tried to be offended. After all, he was insulting her “Excuse me. I think my nose is the best part of my face! You’re the one with a butt chin!” Her voice trembled over her own words. Then she giggled a little harder as his sulking deepened and he rubbed at his chin, shaking his head.

“Now who’s being rude?” His pout finally lifted to a small smile, and he brought his coke to his mouth, swallowing. “I think next time I want you laying on the bed. Think you can let your head hang upside down for 30 minutes?” He caught her gaze, eyebrows raised. She tried to ignore him saying anything about laying on a bed. There was a mischievous spark in his eye that made her stomach flip.

“If I pass out it’s your fault.” She warned, jabbing a finger at him threateningly. He smiled a smidge more at her before backing up and going to sit his drink down on her desk. Every smile he gave her felt like a surprise, and she couldn’t quite believe how much had changed in such a short period of time.

Things were getting easier with him. It had taken a good two weeks, seeing each other twice a week in their mutual art class, and then twice outside of class to work on the homework. Y/N knew he would be tough. She could tell that from ‘Hello’. Just hadn’t properly estimated how difficult.

 In the beginning, he barely talked beyond adjustments to her pose, and comments on her anatomical errors. Never rudely. Definitely blunt, but his voice was soft, and he helped her after critiquing her. She had thought he was irritated every time he came to her apartment to work. Thought she annoyed him whenever she sat next to him in class. It made her anxiety relentlessly torment her like the devil it was.

Last Friday, though, she finally started to pick up on his dry humor. It was only small comments here and there. Little quips about the poses she made him do, or her obnoxiously loud neighbors. When she fed into it, he made more. Now he was beginning to smile easier. She eventually asked him about his brooding, while sketching him sitting in a chair. Bucky had cracked up. A full body laugh that took up her entire apartment. Between snorts he explained that his friends said he had a ‘killer resting bitch face’. It was one of their inside jokes. He was sorry if he gave her the wrong idea. All his waving hands, gesturing as he spoke, completely ruined her sketch. There was no getting him back into the same position. It was worth it.

These days, she wondered why she ever thought he was scary.

“Got any plans for Halloween?” Y/N asked, turning her drink in her hands. The holiday fell on a Wednesday this year, so most parties were scheduled the Saturday after. That was only a week away.

Bucky smeared the condensation of his can across his right fingers, rubbing at the leftover charcoal dust. The small of his back leaned against her desk as he thought about it. Charcoal had managed to get all the way down to his wrist. His thumb brushed over his fingertips and then he rubbed them again on his jeans. There were smudged stains on the faded blue now, next to his side pocket. He didn’t seem to care.

She tried to stop staring, looking back down at his drawing right as he glanced back up to answer. “Probably gonna go to my friend’s party. Maybe scare the kids that dare ring his doorbell.” He gave a wicked smirk. Then clapped his hands together, rubbing them conspiratorially. The sound was muted by his glove and had a dull ring from the metal underneath.

“Like you need to give more poor people nightmares from your ugly mug.” She teased. Well that answered her question. She thought maybe she could invite him to go with her and her friends to club Hydra. Obviously, he would be spending time with his friends. Friends she didn’t have any idea about.

“Oh ha ha.” Bucky rolled his eyes with exaggerated, sarcastic laughter. “So! Where do you want me and my ugly mug?” He asked, arms spread wide in mock invitation.

“Don’t pout. At least you don’t have to buy a costume.” Y/N continued. He didn’t even bless her with a response. Just pinned his grey eyes at her a bit more.

Slowly, she walked over to sit her own drink down beside his, lips pressed together. Peering around the room, she crossed her arms in thought. Finally, she nodded her chin towards the window sill. It was her middle, largest window. The one that opened to her fire escape. The sill doubled as a seat and had a couple cushions already laid out on it.

“Open the blinds and lean against it.” It was getting to be later afternoon, so the light should be pouring in the window without the blinds blocking it. As he pushed off from the desk, Bucky knocked his shoulder playfully against hers. She hesitated back for just a second, watching him stroll easily across her apartment. Honestly, she hadn’t realized that he never touched her before until he started to. It wasn’t like he touched her all the time now, but something told her it was significant that he did at all.

With a shake of her head, Y/N followed Bucky over to the window and let him push aside the pale blue curtains. Then he tugged the blinds up, turned and rested back against the window, arms crossed. He didn’t completely sit down onto the sill. Instead he sat on the very edge, using his legs to support him. It wasn’t a very comfortable position, but it was visually dynamic.

“This good?” He tilted his head and studied her curiously. He was wearing a black hoodie, left hand covered with a glove. His hair was easily brushed back from his face, shorter on the sides. Stubble covered his cheeks, but he still had a boyish charm to him, even with the small smudges of rings under his stark blue eyes.

She knew what was under his glove. It wasn’t like Bucky insisted on hiding his metal arm, but he did go out of his way to keep it covered as much as possible. Sometimes in class he would shed his jacket, long sleeves underneath it, but then he would roll up the sleeves to wash his right hand. He would remove the glove to keep it from getting wet. Didn’t usually even flinch whenever anyone looked, surprised, but no one asked. Prosthetics were rare, but not unheard of considering the war. Metal prosthetics were rarer, only Stark Industries made them, and they were ungodly expensive.

However, in all the sessions they had drawing each other, she hadn’t drawn him without his arm covered in some way. He had drawn her in various stages of undress: dresses, skirts, shorts, jackets, and even a sports bra once. Y/N had a feeling that this would be what she would use for her final Figure Drawing project. If he just didn’t have his jacket on. Maybe she could finally capture the essence of him that she had missed every time.

“One second.” She stated quickly, stepping back and flitting around her apartment. First, she turned off all the lamps over near her bed. Then she walked around the wide bookshelf that separated her bed from the living-room area and turned off the kitchen light beyond that. There was enough light pouring in from the window for her to draw by. Plus, having only one light source made the shadows he created deeper.

Having all that done, she steeled herself, debating a moment longer. It wouldn’t hurt to ask would it? She picked at the edges of her sheer sleeves, they covered down to her fingers. Bucky tracked the movement with his eyes. He really did have artist habits. Sometimes she wondered if he ever missed anything. Any small detail.

“Do you think you could take off your hoodie?” She quickly asked, a little hesitantly. Just throw it out there. Despite the anxiety, she tried to be as casual about it as she could.

Bucky’s eyes widened just a fraction before he gave a smooth smile and furrowed his eyebrows “You trying to defile my honor?” He chuckled teasingly, giving her an obvious once-over, then tutted with a click of his tongue “I didn’t take you for that kinda girl!” He tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket and reclined back a bit more. The light made pieces of his hair shine copper.

She scoffed “Oh you wish Barnes.” Then she shook her head, staring up at the high vaulted ceiling. Why did this difficult man had to be her muse?

“I just think the lighting and pose would look better without your dark ass jacket casting one big mass of shadows.” She jabbed a finger at it and stared at him stubbornly. She didn’t mention that his metallic arm would also look beautiful in the golden light of the sunset, but she figured he would come to that conclusion on his own.

“I’m wearing a tank top underneath this.” He stated, joking demeanor becoming subdued with his statement, voice softening. Bucky didn’t turn his gaze away from her. Slouched down like he was, she managed to stand at his height. Her bare toes were nearly touching his. The length of his stretched legs kept her a good arm’s length away. Bucky always seemed to have a bubble that he rarely let anyone in. People walked around him with a wide breadth. Y/N supposed he could be intimidating. Especially in moments like this. Where his eyes unwaveringly bore into hers, and he dropped his charming, dry humor. A joke wasn’t anywhere to be found.

“That’s fine by me.” She finally replied, clearing her throat from where it had become filled with sand. Honestly, she didn’t know Bucky all that well. They spent upwards of 10 hours a week together, working on the same class, bonding over art, but she still didn’t really know him. She knew he was a veteran, he was casually vague about that if the arm didn’t tip anyone off. Their art teacher, Ramsey, was also a veteran, and liked to talk about it with Bucky. Probably a sense of comradery. She knew his favorite medium was acrylic, and he worked at The Rosalie Bakery. That was about it, though, and all that stuff was pretty damn superficial.

As he kept his stare locked with hers for a few heartbeats longer than comfortable, she began to wonder if maybe she pushed too far. It was obvious he was a private guy. Maybe he was embarrassed about it. Maybe he didn’t want it captured forever down on paper. She was just about to back off when his right hand moved up to the zipper of his hoodie. Her eyes immediately tracked the movement. It rested below his chest, already partially down. The sound of the zipper broke the silence, louder than the clunking of her apartments central air.

“Alright, but good fucking luck drawing this hunk of metal. I swear shading it is gonna be a bitch for you.” Bucky groused, and she took a soft breath before smiling encouragingly with a flash of teeth.

“I think I can handle it.”

He tossed the jacket to the floor, and then rolled his shoulder a little. The wife beater didn’t hide much of anything. Y/N could see the thick jagged scars from where the metal ended, and his skin began. There was intricate paneling and the plates hissed a little as they shifted in response to him moving. His flesh fingers plucked the ends of the glove off, and then dropped it down on top of his jacket.

It only took two seconds for her trained eyes to devour every detail before she hurried to grab her sketchpad and standing easel. She wanted to draw him at eye level, just from the side closer to his metal arm. The light refracted, multicolored, across the silver. It was just as stunning as she thought it would be. “Can you just prop your left elbow up above your head? Ya like that. Now tilt your head towards me. Good. And relax.” She spoke quickly, already starting to block in shapes.

“Whatever you say Picasso.” Bucky rolled his eyes before relaxing his face, and he watched her draw.

Normally, she would tell him to look somewhere else. Maybe down, or up above her, but not this time. This time it was perfect that he was challenging her. Challenging the viewer. Daring them to look at him. Daring them to stare.

Y/N felt her heartbeat pick up, and she brushed the charcoal across her page, suddenly caught in a drawing fever. She could feel excitement sparking her fingers as she drew him. This was why she wanted him to be her partner.

When Ramsey told them that they would have a partner for the length of their class, she had panicked at first. Their partner was supposed to critic them, help them, and work their projects together. It was a lot to ask from someone, especially when most people in the class didn’t have a degree hanging on their performance. This was an extracurricular class for her, outside of her college, hosted by the Brooklyn Museum. It was meant for wanna-be-artists, but most of them weren’t being graded like her. At the end of the class their work would be hosted in an exhibit at the museum.

All her teachers would be coming to that show, and Ramsey was supposed to write weekly updates about her. Y/N didn’t like group projects to begin with. Most people just didn’t work well together, and she had high standards for herself. Besides, she only recognized a couple other people in the class from her college, but she didn’t truly know anyone.

As everyone started to pair off, being smart and probably taking the class with a friend, she glanced around the room. Twisted in her chair, observing as people laughed and started mulling over the syllabus together. She finally spotted him. He hadn’t moved from his drafting desk, hadn’t even looked up from his worn sketchbook. She noticed how people glanced at him, but then kept moving, looking for other options. He was beautiful. Intimidating. She wanted to draw him right then and there. It wasn’t anything new. Sometimes people just inspired her. Something about them made her itch to draw them. To capture their being onto a page.

So, she approached him. He slowly glanced up at her. Took in her position beside his desk with nothing else than a glare. Stubbornly not letting that deter her, she gave a small wave and the best smile she could muster under such uncomfortable circumstances “Hey I’m Y/N.”

“James.”

“You still have 20 minutes left. You can take your time.” Bucky chuckled, watching as her hand slowed for the first time since she started “I’m not going anywhere Y/N.”

It had taken the entire first week for her to make him laugh. Another week after that before the smiles came easier. The sad part was she had actively been trying. Of course, when he did laugh, she hadn’t tried. In the middle of rearranging the still life they were working with, she fumbled. She accidentally knocked her hip into the edge of her cheap end table when turning away. Managed to catch the flower vase, but at the cost of it spilling down the front of her shirt. At least it was on her, and not her camera. That same day, he had told her to call him Bucky instead of James.

He laughed a lot more since then.

Hearing her name made her fully give him her attention. Cars honked from far down below, and the shuffle of New York played like subdued background music. “You’ve got charcoal on your face.” He informed her. A smirk curled up one side of his lips, and his eyes danced in the fading auburn light behind him.

She wiped at her forehead, brushing back her hair. From the grin on his face, she probably only made it worse. She sent eye daggers at him “Shut up and get back to brooding.”

He pressed his lips together, trying to contain his smile. “Yes ma’am.” After that, she noticed that his shoulders were a little more relaxed. His breathing was deeper, and his gaze had softened. However, his eyes never stopped daring her to look.

**** 

Halloween was one of her favorite holidays. It was thrilling to get to pretend to be someone else. To have the opportunity to dress in whatever made her feel good without getting slut shamed for it. She had very few chances to act like a kid anymore, being in college, and having the adult responsibilities of a young woman living on her own. So, when her friends invited her to a Halloween party at the club Hydra she didn’t hesitate to agree. It wasn’t often that she drank, even less often that she partied.

The press of bodies made it difficult to get off the dance floor. She slowly weaved her way, slipping under arms and sliding through all the usual grinding. Her hair stuck to the nap of her neck, and she felt damp sweat on the small of her back. Leather was not a breathable fabric. It clung like a second jet black skin down her limbs and stretched across her breasts. As she stumbled, at last, out of the crowd, near the bar, she took in a muggy breath. The air tasted like various perfumes, and sweet smoke. Fog machines curled smoke around her feet and made the air hazy. Desperate, she unzipped her clingy jacket down a bit. Now she was showing an indecent amount of cleavage, only a pushup bra under the jacket, but at least it was cooler.

Time was drifting past 1 a.m., and she wanted to try to be home by 3. That way she could still be coherent when Bucky came over to work at 11. Multicolored strobe lights flashed overhead, giving everything a heady, surreal atmosphere. The music was so loud that she could feel it vibrating in her bones, across her heart. It mixed well with the slight buzz of alcohol making her skin tingle, and muscles loose. Her feet hurt from dancing so much, and she still had a throbbing bite mark on her neck. A gift from a guy dressed as a vampire who got a little too in character.

Finally, she made it into the bathroom, there wasn’t a line. The club was huge, and expensive. It managed to surprisingly be equipped with enough bathrooms to serve all its drunk, debauched guests. She leaned heavily against the porcelain sink, splashing some cool water onto the back of her neck. After a couple of calm breaths, she felt the last of the artificial fog leave her lungs. Peering up she stretched her neck to the side, checking to see if the vampire managed to bruise her. Thank god he didn’t.

Y/N’s makeup was smudged, making her sharp Black Widow look a little dirty. Her lipstick smeared around her mouth, and her smoky eyeliner ringed her bright eyes. Somehow, she got glitter across her cheekbones and chest. She hadn’t even worn glitter. Still, it managed to work with the leather, so she didn’t mind too much. Standing up straight, she dampened a paper towel and dabbed it under her eyes. Wanted to clean herself up just a little bit before she faced anyone again. Grabbing her lipstick from one of her many pockets she reapplied the scarlet, and then, satisfied, pulled out her phone.

Back facing the mirror, she leaned against the sink. Focused on her phone, she enjoyed the slight draft of cool air that dried the sweat on her chest. The music still crept in from outside, but it was the first minute in a solid 5 hours that she could hear her own thoughts.

First, she tried to call Gabby, who had drove them there. Gabby was always nailed to her phone and very reliable. It rang a few times, but eventually went to voicemail. Y/N left a quick message. Let her know that she wanted to head out soon, and to get back to her. They had agreed that they would stay no later than 1:30 a.m. at most. It was creeping towards that time.

Then she called Whitney, but the call was instantly rejected. She raised her eyebrows and hung up without leaving a message. Instead she went to text her. The buzzing of the florescent lights was starting to give her a headache. She jumped a little when a group of girls came into the bathroom, talking way too loudly. Probably still deaf from the base. The music followed in after them until the door swung closed again. Some remix of This Is Halloween. They barely glanced at her as they went about doing their business, checking their makeup and going into the stalls.

Y/N stepped back and out of the way of the sinks. She leaned against the other wall beside the trashcan. Her feet were starting to ache in her knee-high boots; so, she shifted her weight from one to the other, easing some of the pressure.

Y/N: Hey! Just wanted to knw if you’ve seen Gabs?

It took Whitney a couple minutes to text back. Minutes that went by gruelingly slow. The girls had all left by the time her phone vibrated in her hands.

Whitney: No idea! Srry about the call. I met a guy!  She followed that up with several winky faces and hearts.

Whitney: Let her know I don’t need a ride tho. Probably won’t make it home. Thnx!

That one was emphasized with some kisses and winky faces.

Y/N could tell when a conversation was over, so she tried to call Gabby again. It ended with the same result. She sent her a couple texts, but to no avail. Just more radio silence.

Buzz sufficiently tampered, she let Gabby know she was getting a cab. She stared up at the glass dome light about her head and groaned loudly in frustration. Then she pocketed her phone back in the pouch attached to her utility belt. She patted at her thigh pocket where she had her wallet, only to come up with nothing. Y/N patted down her hip pockets, and then back pockets. A bubble of panic started to rise from her stomach. She frowned, going for her bra, and then rechecking every single pocket she had.

Twice.

Then a third time.

No wallet. No goddamn wallet. She tried to think of where she could have left it, but it had been an hour since her last drink. There was no way she had left it at the bar.

Then she had gone to dance some more, and finally ended up here in the bathroom.

Somewhere between then and now her wallet had escaped.

Son of a bitch. She raked a rough hand through her hair. It probably looked wild in a crazy witch sort of way now. The mirror across from her confirmed her theory. Wild hair aside; ok, she could handle this. Maybe they had it at the bar. Maybe she dropped it, and someone gave it to the bartender. People were still nice like that.

With a rush of adrenaline fueling her steps, she shoved out of the bathroom and hurried to the bar. This couldn’t be happening.

It wasn’t at the bar.

The bartender helpfully informed her that they had been having a pick-pocket problem. Followed that up with a shrug and infuriating expression of pity.

Gave her a free shot of vodka for her troubles.

Dejected, it took her another 10 minutes to wind her way through the crowd. 10 long minutes to make it out of the maze of the outrageously huge club. She couldn’t help but feel pissed. All around abandoned by her friends. Robbed. She just wanted to do was go home, take a shower, and then collapse into her warm bed.

The frigid November wind only aided in agitating her more. The club was on a corner lot, and she walked a few paces away from the entrance. There were throngs of people still going into the club, and then stumbling masses making their way out of it. She waited on the edge of the sidewalk, watching as the headlights of the cars flashed by in blurs of color. She could see her breath in the wind and cursed her skin-tight leather jacket for not being warmer. The heat from the club abandoned her more every single time a gust of air pushed her to the side.

Luckily, she could feel the vodka coiling in her stomach, spreading numb warmth through her veins. It also managed to calm her down, guiding her from the edge of crying. She bit her lip and slumped against a lamp post.

A taxi started to pull over for her, and she let out a groan of frustration as she waved them on. No point in wasting the poor guy’s time. Renewed tears of frustration pricked her eyes as she tried to figure out who she could call. Her two best friends with cars had already outright deserted her ass. She pulled out her phone and started clicking through all her contacts. Rubbing at her fingers against the phone as she went. The light of her phone made her wince, and the harsh street light reflected white off her leather sleeves. No one else she knew drove.

No one except…

She hovered her thumb over Bucky’s name. He was probably still at his friend’s right now. If not there, likely passed out in some corner. They weren’t that close, and this would seriously be putting him out.

But she was desperate.

Y/N pressed the phone to her ear as it started to ring. Again, and again… and oh god he wouldn’t answer and he was going to wake up to a random call from an indecent hour and no explanation…

“Hello?”

“Bucky!” She uttered his name with an embarrassing amount of relief. Immediately she took a step away from the post, too nervous to stand still.

“Hey uh… are you alright?” He asked slowly, voice deeper over the phone. At least he sounded like he hadn’t been sleeping, or drunk. What if he was actually busy? What if he was _busy _with someone? She could just make out the sound of music over the line, and laughter.

“I’m not interrupting anything am I?” She ignored his question in favor of asking one of her own. What if she just interrupted a hookup? Accidentally cock blocked him? The thought made her a little queasy, and her free arm crossed protectively over herself.

“Oh no, um just at Steve’s party.” She pursed her lips, looking up at the sky.  Couldn’t make out any of the stars thanks to the city that never sleeps. Steve. He had never mentioned Steve before. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. She didn’t even know the names of his real friends.

He seemed hesitant when she didn’t say anything right away. Vodka was making its way through her. Her brain felt a bit slow “Is there anything that I can do for ya? Not that I don’t appreciate random calls or anything, but…” Bucky trailed off, waiting for her to finish the sentence for him.

The question made her straighten back up and scrub a hand over her face, suddenly remembering her awkward situation “I don’t want to put you out but… Well I’m kinda stuck at club Hydra. Without money, or a ride. Do ya think maybe you could give me a lift home? If you can’t it’s ok I can figure something else out. Promise I’ll pay you back though!” Her lipstick had smeared over her palm. She wiped it off on her thigh distractedly.

There were a few long beats of silence. The only way she knew he was still on the line was by the intermittent bursts of background laughter. Finally, she heard Bucky let out a sigh that made the speaker crackle “I’m not even going to ask. I can be there in 10 if you don’t mind riding on my bike.”

“No that’s fine!” No, she didn’t mind the idea of riding on the back of his bike at all. It sounded like the best thing ever. A great way to pick up her shitty night. “Are you sure though? I don’t want to make you leave your party.”

She could hear some shuffling, and it sounded like Bucky was talking to someone, but she couldn’t make out any of his words. When his voice came back he was a bit louder “Nah it’s alright. Starting to die out anyway.”

“You’re not drunk, are you?” Y/N suddenly asked, a bit concerned. Mostly not even for herself.

Bucky snorted a laugh “No I’m not drunk. Would never dream of risking my bike like that.” A screen door slammed over the phone, and he cursed. Something about stupid weather and stupid damsels in distress. She opted to ignore him.

“I was more worried about you than the bike, but I’ll take what I can get.” She paced around her small bit of sidewalk. It felt like there might be snow in the air. Above the buildings she wondered if the clouds were gearing up for it, thick and heavy.

“Shouldn’t worry ‘bout me, but thanks anyway.” There was a jingling of keys, and then a roaring crackle over the speaker that made her jerk the phone away from her ear. He must have started his bike.

To compensate she spoke up a bit louder “Thank you so much. I’m already outside. Can’t miss me. I’m in all leather.”

Bucky laughed a little, but it was distorted from the motorcycle “It’s Halloween weekend. I don’t think you’re the only girl out there sportin’ all leather.” Before she could defend her entirely unique leather get-up, he finished “But I’m sure you’ll stand out anyway. See ya in a bit.” Then he hung up.

The next 5 minutes passed agonizingly slow. She huddled herself up against a rough brick wall, thankful that she was wearing pants. Even if the leather was thin. She didn’t want to go back into the club, and chance missing Bucky. Besides, it was only 10 minutes. She could handle that. Her phone stayed pressed close to her face as she flipped through Tumblr, attempting to keep her mind off the howling wind. It bit at her fingers, and pink nose.

At first, she didn’t notice. There was always a background rush of voices on the streets, along with cars, and horns. City noises. A lot of the louder voices were guys, shouting obscenities at no one in particular. Even when she had been cat called a few times, it never amounted to anything.  Usually she just kept walking or flipped them off, then kept walking.

“Hey sweetheart why you all by yourself?” She glanced up from her phone, wondering what poor girl was getting harassed and if maybe she should do something.

Then she realized that poor girl was her.

Too stunned to say anything, she kept quiet. The guys were leering at her from down the sidewalk. Probably coming from the club. There were five, all in various costumes, and all likely in various states of intoxication. The ringleader stood in the front, backed up by two other big guys, the fatter one was in a basketball jersey, the other a pirate’s hat with a ruby feather. They were all tall, but not quite as tall as Bucky. Not many guys were.

When she didn’t respond, the ringleader stepped closer to her little ball of light. She stood underneath a streetlamp light. The post was positioned on the other side of the sidewalk, next to the street, but its illumination reached her against the wall. It felt like the safest place. Not that Hydra was located on a shady street, but it was late at night, or early in the morning. She was a girl. It was also Halloween. Now she was starting to wonder if the light was more like a beacon for all the goddamn scumbags of the world.

“Wanna keep us company?” He continued, a wide smirk making his teeth flash in the headlights of a car “We can warm you up real nice.”

Discount Jack Sparrow chuckled from beside him “You make one damn hot Black Widow. I’d love to see what’s under your leather.” She felt his eyes on her cleavage even if she couldn’t see him clearly in the shadows. Suddenly she wanted to zip her top back up, but she didn’t dare give him the goddamn satisfaction of appearing embarrassed.

Up to this point she was far too amazed at the blatant sexual harassment heading her way to say anything. That comment jarred her into standing up straighter, trying to appear bigger than she was. Then she glared at them “Fat chance asshole. Leave me alone.” She bristled more when they just laughed at her and felt her stomach drop. This wasn’t good.

If she screamed it wouldn’t do much. It was Halloween. People were screaming everywhere. Plus, in a city, one scream just disappeared like smoke among all the other noises. There wasn’t anyone around paying any attention. The main bustle was over at the club, but she was far away from it now. Went to wait next to a parking garage a distance away so Bucky would have an easier time spotting her. A huge building filled with cars, not people. Sure, there were cars going by, but no one gave a shit what happened outside the nice tinted glass of their ride.

To her left, yards away, the fluorescent lights of Hydra’s sign flashed mockingly at her. To her right the street was deserted, the parking garage was huge enough that it took up the sidewalk till it hooked around the other corner several yards away. In front of her the street flowed like an impassable, steady river of cars. The neanderthals blocked her from heading back to the safety of Hydra.

It would be a lucky day if anyone paid her any attention at all.

“Aw you even talk like her. Why don’t we play a little?” The ringleader stepped into her circle of light now. Contaminating it. She pressed further back against the brick behind her “I’ll be the Hulk, and you can be my little Widow.” He had greasy dark hair, pushed back from his long pale face, the brim of a scuffed top hat hooded his dark eyes. He was toned underneath his circus coat, she could tell by the way it hugged his chest. A literal evil ringmaster. How ironic. Probably not even all that ugly when that sneer didn’t stretch his face. Probably one of those guys that didn’t take no for an answer, even in a setting much nicer than this.

As they crowded closer in, she could smell the alcohol on them. Alcohol, and pot. Not that substances are any excuse, but it made her spine tingle with adrenaline. Substances just made people get angrier faster and hit harder.

Without even responding, she bolted, or tried. Lunged to the right. Maybe if she made it to the end of the block she could go across the crosswalk. Across the street there were restaurants, and people. She made it all of five steps before a hand caught her wrist and wrenched her back. Involuntarily, she stumbled into Ringleader’s chest. His other arm snaked around her waist, crushing her there as she tried to wiggle away.

She screamed then.

Whether she believed it would help or not. It was just a natural damn response. Fear sliced down her spine and beat the wail out of her.

His hand left her wrist and covered her mouth. Circus Freak’s palm tasted dirty when she tried to bite, but he just pressed harder. His thumb wrapped over her nose. She could barely breathe.

“Shut the fuck up.” He tugged her back, making her stumble with him, and then took her out of the light all together. The lamp flickered and hummed, above her head. She watched it get smaller. He dragged her over towards the opening of the car garage. It gaped at her like the ominous jaws of a monster. If she went in there, she might never come out.

Even if she did, she might not be able to put herself back together. Not for a second time.

Y/N tried letting herself go dead weight, but he just grunted and pulled her harder. Ringleader’s arm was an iron bar. It dug into and bruised her ribs. Her jacket hiked up from the squirming, and suddenly his grimy hand was squeezing her bare side. Heartbeat spiking, she scratched at his arms, kicked at his legs, started to buck back. Her feet didn’t connect with more than his shins, but at least he cursed. Blood welled up under her nails, and as she squirmed his hand started to slip. She fought with everything she had in her. Finally, he let go of her mouth to contain her arms.

“Grab the goddamn slut’s legs!” He demanded, voice rough from too many smokes. Hands caught her wrists in a bruising vice. He tugged them up above her head.

Fatty in the ball jersey did as ordered. He bent over and grabbed her thighs, lifting them off the ground. Couldn’t get a solid hold with her bucking. He managed to keep her calves lifted, and she used his support to push off. With all her strength, she brought up one foot when he pushed closer to her. She got in one good, hard kick into his snarling face. The heel of her boot cracked him right in the nose. Snapped his head back and he let out a surprised wail. A wave of gratification swept her chest. She even smiled a little, past the tears that smeared her mascara.

It didn’t last long. Jersey held his flooding nose with his left hand and stammered “You bitch!” The rage in his voice tremored through his muscles. He brought back his big meaty hand and landed a stinging backhand across her face. Bastard had a hulking ring on his finger. The jewel caught on her cheekbone and tore into her skin. Her ears started to ring, and glowing halos of light danced in her eyes when she blinked. The force split her lip and she tasted blood.

At least his nose looked broken, blood splattering across his stupid purple jersey. She hoped the stain never came out.

In slapping her, he let go of her feet, so she started trying to kick again. She kicked despite the throbbing through her skull. Kicked despite the ringing in her ears. Despite the hands that constricted her. Bruised her.

Still, it wasn’t really going anywhere. She pegged another guy with devil horns in the middle of his chest. He caught her feet, wrapped them under one of his arms, and constrained her. They started shuffling closer to the entrance, and she started to scream again. Her shoulders ached from bearing all her weight, and she stared up at Ringleader. His breath stank of alcohol when he stared down at her with a chilling grin.

That was when she heard a distinctive skid of tires on the sidewalk.

“What the fuck?” One of the others, he had on a very ironic Superman getup, muttered as headlights blinded her. The guys were circled around the front of her, Ringleader binding her arms above her head from behind, Devil Horns holding her feet in front of her. Dirty Superman and Pirate Hat flanked her sides. All of them turned to gape as the lights turned off, and the sound of boots against sidewalk stalked towards them.

Somehow, Y/N knew who it was before she even heard him speak or saw his face. Her entire body sagged in relief, and she strained her neck to try and see.

“Bucky!” She screamed, but then Ringleader cut her off. He jostled her to hold her wrists in one hand, covering her mouth with the other. Devil horns dropped her feet, and she barely kept from falling like a stone. Ringleader tugged her up and back against him.

The others huddled away from Bucky when he got closer. She could just make out his face in the street lights, and his expression made her freeze. His eyes were as cold as winter. Face stony to match. He stood up at all his height, more menacing than ever before, and had yet to utter a single word.

Didn’t really have to. His body language said it all.

Ringleader must have been too stupid to listen “Hey buddy. I suggest you move along. Nothin’ to see here. Our friend was just about to show us a good time. Weren’t ya?” He spoke down to her, shaking her a little. Y/N let out a shriek of rage, clawing at his arm, ripping up more skin beneath his sleeve. He squeezed her mouth tighter, cutting off her air all together. Tears blurred her vision, streaks already staining her cheeks. She couldn’t remember when exactly she started crying. Her lungs burned as she fought to breathe through his skin.

Bucky’s fists clenched at his sides, one covered by a glove. Sporting a leather jacket, white t-shirt, black jeans, and heavy boots he looked almost like John Travolta from Grease. Styled hair and everything. Would have made her weak in the knees in any other situation. Currently, she was struggling to breathe for entirely different reasons.

When he took a threatening step forward, her band of assholes stepped back. A gust of wind ruffled everyone’s hair, and she noticed little white flakes reflecting in the street lamp behind Bucky. Crystals caught in his hair, and she wondered why the universe made tonight the first snow fall.

A heavy silence hung thick in the air. She slapped progressively harder at Ringleader’s hand until he let her breathe again. By then her head was getting light. He still insisted on keeping his hand over her mouth. She sucked air in through her nose. The smell of cigarettes encased her, clogging the air.

Bucky’s eyes met hers across the tense darkness, and she could feel his worry without any words. It reflected in his blue eyes. Spoke through the small crease in his brow, and tense set of his mouth. Finally, though, he did speak up. His words dominated over the cars in the street and boomed across the sidewalk. Slowly, he stared down every single person with a deadly sort of calm.

“I suggest you douchebags let her go. Right now. If you want to walk away from here tonight.” His voice wavered just a bit in pent up rage. She tracked that rage across the stiffness of his shoulders and the clenching of his fists. Distantly she wondered how much damage he could do with a metal fist helping him. How many people had he made bleed with it during the war.

She watched a shudder pass through the spines of everyone standing there. The frost coming off him even made the tips of her fingers prickle. She squeezed her captor’s hand tighter, trying to pry it back off her mouth. He didn’t budge.

Stupidity, and pride always prevail. Ringleader laughed, and the movement jostled her. Her shoes scraped against the side walk as he tugged her up, making her stand on her tiptoes. The position strained her neck, and made her thighs burn. She arched her back to keep from pressing against him more than he made her. “Again, you should really leave before you piss me off. It’s five against one pal, can’t you count?”

Bucky smirked, but it was a bitter, piercing expression “I think you should count again.” Confusion passed through her for only a half of a second.

Then he charged. So fast she almost missed it. Pulling back his flesh hand he decked the nearest guy straight in the nose. It was Ironic Superman. The blow was so vicious she heard the crack from where she was a yard away. Superman’s head violently snapped to the left. His body followed it all the way to the ground. He didn’t move.  

“Four.” It made her heart jump in her throat when Bucky’s voice rang over the scuffle.

Bucky didn’t stop there. He spun just in time for Pirate to throw a wide fist towards his head. It was like he knew the blow was coming. Bucky ducked down. Dipped to the left. Then he stood straight, so damn light on his feet. Pirate stumbled past him, having displaced too much of his weight. Then he sloppily caught himself and faced Bucky angrily. Didn’t waste a second to attack again. Bucky was waiting. He slid just far enough to the right to let the blow go over his shoulder.

Pirate fell against his chest, and Bucky used the momentum to his favor. He caught his shoulders. Then used the downward momentum to drive his knee straight up into the guy’s chest. The feather fell from his hat as he let out all the air in his lungs. Bucky then drove his elbow into the back of his head before dropping him like a stone. The pirate hat landed in the gutter off the sidewalk.

“Three.”

Y/N held her breath. All of Bucky’s movements were so precise. No energy was wasted. He was proficient in every step. It was terrifying. He was beautifully deadly.

Devil Horns charged at Bucky with a roar. He was shorter, but stout as a rock. His fists flew fast enough that Bucky had to block them with his arms. One of the punches thrust straight for Bucky’s nose. He caught the blow with his left hand. Devil Horns tried to yank back and grunted at the strain. She thought she saw Bucky smirk, but then he blurred again. With a wide swing, he spun Devil and drove him face first into the awaiting concrete. The man’s forehead hit it with a hard thud. He stumbled back three steps. Bucky grabbed the back of his head and smacked it against the brick wall a second time.

He slumped to the ground after that. Horns all askew. Blood dripped down from his hairline, mouth slack.

“Two.”

Bucky turned on fatty, who already had a shirt soaked in blood from her. He was holding onto his nose and panting loudly through his mouth in terror. All Buck had to do was take one challenging step forward. Jersey immediately booked it. He passed Bucky and ran straight into traffic. Seemed like he would much rather be hit by a car. Cars honked at him and skidded to a stop to keep from killing his ass. He just kept going. Skipped past the cars, and then disappeared around a corner across the street.

“One.”

She could feel the rage trembling through Circus Freak. A span of silence stretched between them as her captor debated on what to do.

With a whip, he flung her to the side, making fall hard onto the sidewalk. Her elbow smarted when it caught her deadweight, making her cry out in pain. Then she scuffled up as quick as she could, scooting back and out of the way. Y/N felt small down on the side walk, pressed back against the wall. Two goliaths fought it out in front of her.

Bucky dodged back as her attacker threw a fist. He dipped to the left. Weaved out of the way to the right. He narrowly avoided Ringleader’s punches. She wondered why he was being on the defensive more now. At least, she wondered until she caught the glint of the butterfly knife in Ringleader’s hand.

He knocked the knife out of the way and landed a solid punch on the guy’s jaw. It didn’t stop him, though. He just swung harder, faster. Fueled by rage and hurt pride. He crowded Bucky back until he was a step from the street. Cars whizzed by, and it seemed Ringleader wanted to shove Bucky under one of them. A semi-truck barreled down towards them, and she saw the heel of his shoe slip.

“Bucky!” She screamed in warning and his head whipped towards her. He stepped forward, towards her and away from the street. Distracted, she saw the flash of the blade before he did. Ringleader finally landed a sharp slice across his chest. She let out a sharp scream. Blood stained his white shirt. Bucky didn’t even wince. In fact, he didn’t react at all.

As Ringleader swung for a second swipe, he caught the guy’s arm in his left hand. His face carefully blank. Like he hadn’t been cut at all. He forced Ringleader back two steps and loomed over him. His mouth was set hard, and his silver eyes were the embodiment of winter.

Ringleader tugged, trying to get free. He swung loosely with his non-dominant hand, but Bucky caught that fist too. Then he squeezed. Only with his left hand. She watched at the man’s knees started to wobble under him. He dropped the blade with a clatter. Then he screamed.

“What the fuck?! Let me go you psycho! You’re gonna break­—” She luckily didn’t hear the crack of his bones. It was obvious in his wail, though. He kept going down until he was on his knees. Bucky let go of his non-dominant hand. Still kept his agonizing hold with his left.

Ringleader clawed at Bucky’s gloved hand with his free one. He tried to get free like a fox caught in a bear trap. Yanked so hard that she was surprised he didn’t dislocate his shoulder. The snow came down harder now. It caught on the brim of his top hat where it had fallen near his legs, making it almost grey. Bucky’s hair had come free from its pomade. It fell in his face as he stooped down to glare at the squirming man.

He wasn’t speaking. Wasn’t flinching when the man tried to pry the metal fingers off him. It was like he wasn’t there at all. Like his mind had checked out, and left behind a ghost.

“I’m sorry! Please man! Let me go!” His voice broke as he started to sob.

Y/N scrambled to her feet. Bucky wasn’t stopping. He already broke the guy’s hand. Yet he kept squeezing. The man was howling now, begging. Seemed like he might have even pissed himself. She took a couple steps towards them, hesitant at first. Bucky didn’t even seem to notice her anymore. He scared her like this. Terrified her to her very bones. She reached out a hand, but her feet were lead. Then Bucky brought back his flesh hand, ready to punch Ringleader again.

“Bucky!” She shouted, forcing herself to move. It took her just three easy steps to get beside him. She grabbed his fist in the air. Wasn’t strong enough to make it come down from its position, but she tugged anyway. Practically draped herself against him, holding his arm where it hung in the air next to her head “Stop! Stop it.” She spoke louder at first, but then softened her tone when she felt him freeze. He didn’t look at her. Just glared down at her attacker. “I’m ok. I’m alright now. Let him go. Please.” The muscles in his arm eased up just enough. She gently guided his flesh hand down, uncurling his fist. She pried at his fingers until his fist relaxed minutely.

“Y-ya man. L-listen to your girl you should j-just- Fuck!!” Bucky had started releasing his grip on the guy’s wrist, but the moment he started blabbering he squeezed again. A growl rumbled in his throat, like the guy personally offended him by breathing.

“Buck!” Y/N chastised him, reaching over and touching his metal hand. Probably for the very first time if she thought about it. She could feel it underneath the glove, harder than bone, and cold even through the material. “Please, let’s just go. He can’t hurt me anymore.” Probably wouldn’t hurt anyone anymore for a long time.

Bucky finally let go at her touch. He shoved Ringleader’s arm away like it disgusted him. Didn’t stop glowering at him, though. Still wouldn’t look at her. The man collapsed into a heap onto the sidewalk. His broken wrist was already blue, swollen, and bent wrong. It made her nauseous, so she stared back at Bucky’s face instead.

Ringleader scraped himself up after a minute and started to run away. Scrambled past the parking garage, down the snow dusted sidewalk. Shoes skidded a couple times, and his pants leg did have a noticeable damp spot. His arm was cradled to his chest. Only a yard away, he turned his head, coat bustling in the wind “Your dog’s a fucking psycho! Should keep him on a goddamn leash!” Then he jogged faster, letting his words disappear behind him. Like the coward he was.

Bucky tried to lunge after him. His muscles bunched under her hand as he snarled. She stepped in front of him just a second before he could start the chase. Y/N pressed herself to him, hands flat on his chest. The blood from his wound was hot against her hands, but she barely noticed. Too focused on blocking his path. Peering up at him, she realized that her eye had started to swell shut. He didn’t shove her out of the way. In fact, he finally looked down at her. It was like her action had finally broken him out of the fog he was in.

As they stared at each other for several long minutes, the defeated attackers slowly roused. One by one the other members of the group scraped themselves off the sidewalk. None of them were dead thank god. They quickly fled too. Silently, though. She barely paid them any attention. It was still snowing hard, and she watched as flakes caught in his eyelashes. Headlights cast shifting shadows around them. Wrestling like demons at their feet. She couldn’t help but question what demons Bucky kept locked inside of his head. Only demons could make someone fight as desperately as he just did.

Slowly, afraid of startling him, she reached up and touched his cheek. She cupped his face in her hands and studied him seriously “Are you alright?” Her thumb brushed over his bruised jaw. It did dawn on her that it was ironic for her to be asking him if he was alright. After everything that had happened. She did it anyway. He seemed to have lost himself during the fight. His eyes were focusing from somewhere far away. She couldn’t believe she just watched him break someone’s hand without flinching. With the adrenaline wearing off, she wanted to cry all over again.

Bucky blinked once. Then twice. He swallowed and grimaced. His flesh hand gently touched her left. His longer fingers cupped over hers. It was so warm. She could feel the calluses on his palms as he slowly guided her hand away. He didn’t touch her with his metal one, but she dropped her hand anyway. It was obvious he was uncomfortable with her touching him like that. She left small smudges of blood on his cheek.

“I’m fine. Are you ok?” He brought his right hand up and touched the side of her face. She winced, realizing that her cheek was still on fire. Her lip felt tender too when her tongue tested the dried blood.

“Why do guys always managed to hit a girl right across the cheekbone?” She asked, trying to make a joke but it landed flat. He didn’t even try to smile. His thumb brushed across her lip, and she grimaced, looking away. Ringleader’s hat was still on the ground right by her foot. She stepped on it, grinding it into the snow. When she moved her foot away, it inflated like a crumbled accordion. She thought maybe Bucky did snort at that. It was too quiet for her to be sure.

“God I’m a mess.” The words babbled out of her past the buzzing in her ears. She glanced down at herself. One knee was ripped open and so was her elbow, both were bleeding. Her jacket had come unzipped down to her ribs, leaving everything showing. Y/N brought her hand up to zip it back, but her fingers were shaking too much to get a good grip. Her breaths started to come in faster as she got more, and more frustrated. Her fingers were numb and clumsy.

Bucky’s hand came up and he covered her own, taking the damned thing. He slowly closed her jacket back up to her collarbones. She had never in her life been more grateful for such a simple action. His thumb stroked her collar just once, leaving a hot trail behind. Then his hands fell away.

Before she could find the words to thank him, her eyes caught the sheen of red on his chest “Y-You’re hurt, and b-bleeding a lot and you’re asking me if I’m ok?” She gave a hysterical laugh, tears already escaping her eyes again. They stung the cut the guy left on her cheekbone. Her hands shook as she brought them up. She wanted to get a better look at the cut. What if he needed stitches? What if he got a scar cause of her? Cause she distracted him like an idiot?

“I-I’m so sorry. I sh-shouldn’t have yelled. I was just so scared and—"

Bucky’s eyes widened, and he quickly brought up his arms. The motion cut off her babbling, uncontrollable apology. He tugged her into an enveloping, hard hug. She tried to protest as he pressed her against his wound, but then his chest rumbled as he started to talk. Her ear was trapped against his collarbone above the wound. It was the most comforting sound she had ever heard “I’m ok doll. Promise. It doesn’t hurt that much. Trust me, I’ve had worse.” He shushed her when she tried to speak “Believe me. Much worse.” Then he squeezed her shoulder lightly and rubbed. The metal hand he just used to crush someone’s arm rubbed hers with more tenderness than she had experienced in a very long time.

Somehow, it didn’t bother her at all.

Finally, once her shoulders stopped shaking and her gross sniffling died down, he pulled back. Bucky held her just a bit away, his hands still rubbing her shoulders. He reached up and wiped at her chin, grimacing. He gave a very weak, sheepish smile “Sorry, I got blood on your…” He trailed off, gesturing to her face. She just shrugged, too tired to care. There were a lot of things smeared on her face. Besides, she got blood on his too. Just didn’t even have the energy to tell him. When he noticed his left hand was still touching her, he dropped it down.

Y/N sniffed, trying to clear her nose. The cold snowy air hurt her lungs. Then she rubbed at her face as much as she could stand. Her eye felt tender and wouldn’t stop blurring.  Probably smudging tears, blood, and makeup all together. Then she spoke up, voice a bit rough “I don’t mind it.”

He raised his eyebrows at her, tilting his head a little. Confused. She shivered as a gust of wind caught her. Now that the adrenaline had passed, she was so frosty her teeth were starting to chatter. Still, she tried to elaborate “Y-Your metal arm doesn’t bother me.”

Bucky stared at her critically and then shook his head, as if she were ridiculous “Let’s get you home.” He sighed, wrapping an arm over her shoulders, his right one. The snow had covered any traces of a fight taking place at all. It was already sticking to the street, forming muddy tracks from the tires. He tucked her into his side where it was warm, under his jacket. Now that she had a calm minute, she enjoyed the way his smell enveloped her.

“I’m s-serious!” She still couldn’t stop shivering “It’s just another p-part of you. A-And I like y-you.” She glared up at him, trying to drill in her honesty with her eyes.

Bucky only stopped to consider at her after they reached his bike. He let her go and dusted the snow off the seat. Then he grabbed a helmet, offering it to her quietly. She was just about to speak up again when he finally whispered, “Thank you.” If she hadn’t been looking at him, she thought the words might have been stolen by the loud gust of wind.

There wasn’t much else she could say to that. So, she put on her silver helmet, and climbed onto the bike behind him. He shrugged out of his leather jacket, revealing a black unzipped hoodie underneath. He shoved his jacket into her hands, and she shrugged it on quietly, grateful. Everything ached too much for her to argue.

Bucky clasped on his own helmet and revved up the bike. When it jumped to life underneath her, she quickly wrapped her arms around his waist, stuffing them into the pockets of his jacket when the wind bit at her fingers. At least the helmet kept her ears warm. She thought she felt Bucky chuckle underneath her when she gripped tighter. He pulled on a second glove, zipped up his jacket, and then smoothly merged into the nighttime traffic.

The drive home wasn’t as wonderful as she thought it would be. Not after everything that just happened. Still, it was beautiful. He weaved through the cars with a precise control, that was definitely dangerous. It reminded her a little of how he fought. Daring, and proficient.

At lot of the time he passed cars without any legal right-of-way at all. Bucky went as fast as he could, and she wondered if he was running from something. Running from the demons she couldn’t see that nipped at his heels. Y/N never felt in harms way, though. If anything, he made her feel like they were flying. Like the bike was gliding up off the ground whenever she wasn’t looking. Colors blurred past her. Paint smudges on a canvas, outlined in charcoal. She bunched the fabric of Bucky’s jacket in her hands and turned her forehead to press against the broad of his back.

He covered her hand with his right one. Slipped it into the pocket and laced them together. His skin was warm on top of hers. Wistfully, she imagined he still had charcoal on his fingers. That the charcoal would smudged across her skin and stain it forever. Leaving a mark that would remind her he was there. Even when he wasn’t.

Next Chapter

[hazinhoodies]

October part 11

A/N: This is nearly it guys. This will be one of the last parts of october. Most likely second last (excluding an epilogue if i do one)

Warnings: emotions?

Word count: 2.3k (holy fuck longest thing ive ever written)

The rest of the summer went by much faster than anyone would have liked. Emma, Harrison, Sam, Tom, Z. None of them wanted Emma to leave. Tom had even tried convincing her to come to Croatia with them.

20 days

“Tom you know I can’t” Emma laughed. Tom was relentless.

“But you totally could! Just don’t go back. You can come on the private jet with me, Haz, Sam and Harry!” Tom followed Emma as they walked to her trailer.

“And then what about my studies?” Emma stopped, looking at tom with her eyebrows raised, a playful smile on her lips

“Your studies? Pshh, who needs school?” Emma let out a loud laugh

“I do! Tom I adore you and everyone on set but I need to finish school. I really wish I could stay” Emma smiled at Tom. He pulled her into a hug, his arms wrapped tight around her torso

“Nope. You’re staying. Not letting you leave.”

Her and Tony had figured things out. Kinda?

16 days

“Okay so that’s all for today. Thanks Tony” Emma started to pack up her laptop.

“Hey Em. I really wanted to apologize” Tony’s voice grabbed her attention. “I used you. And that wasn’t cool. It was a stupid reason and I’m really sorry about it” He sounded so sincere.

“Its fine. It happened. Just” Emma sighed “For future reference, don’t fuck girls to get back at someone for a bet. It’s a stupid reason” Tony looked up from his hands to see a small smile tugging at her lips.

“So.. were cool?”

“Well. Not exactly. I’m still upset with you. I’m not gonna be a total dick about it though”

“I can respect that” Tony laughed “Thanks Em.” Emma nodded as she stepped out of the trailer.

Or the first time Emma had gone over to the boys’ suite

11 days

The five of them stepped out of the elevator. Harry first, then Tom, Sam, Emma and Harrison. Harry had been roasting Tom since they got out of the car, Tom hadn’t been so pleased with t but the rest of the group were red-faced from laughter. Iris had slowly driven Emma less and less, Harrison usually ended up taking her out and then back to her hotel. They’d done all the touristy stuff that Emma had never done, and Harrison was fully aware was over priced and over hyped, but he took her anyways.

Harrisons arm was wrapped gently around Emma’s shoulders as they exited the elevator, the group gathered around the kitchen island as they continued to talk, Harrison standing behind Emma, both his arms wrapped around her waist, on of her hands rested on top of his. They stayed there for about half an hour, just talking. Harrison placed a quick kiss to Emma’s cheek and placed his head on her shoulder.

“Wanna go watch a movie or something?” Harrison whispered. Emma turned her head slightly to look at him.

“Yeah sure” Harrison stood up, lifting his head off her shoulder as he took her hand in his and they headed up the stairs. Of course not without some comments from Tom or Harry.

“Hey don’t be too loud guys” Harry laughed as tom just whistled.

Emma felt her cheeks go bright red as they entered Harrisons room. He turned around placing both his hands on her hips.

“Hey Em” she looked up at him and he moved his hands to her jaw “Just ignore them. They’re being divs” Emma nodded and he placed a kiss on her forehead. Emma sat on the bed and looked at her phone for a moment until her vision was blocked by a sweater Harrison had thrown at her.

“Figure that might be comfier” Emma pulled the sweater off her head, a wide smile on her lips as she stood.

“Wanna see me in your clothes Osterfield?” Emma took off her jacket, tossing it on the ground nearby.

“Maybe” Harrison shrugged.

“Well you gotta turn around” Emma’s fingers fiddled with the bottom of her shirt.

“Not like it’s anything I haven’t seen before” Harrison turned around as he spoke

“That’s different.” Emma pulled off her shirt and put her arms through the sweater sleeves. “I was posing for those. And I was prepared for them. And they were taken in an actual studio. You’re a model, you should understand” Emma pulled the sweater over her head “You’re good now” Emma sat on the bed.

“No trust me I get it darling” Harrison sat down on the bed next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “Brooklyn nine-nine?” He looked at her as he spoke.

“Not a movie” Emma looked up at him. Harrison kissed her gently.

“I did say a movie or something. And it’s something.” TheI lips brushed together.

“Well in that case” Harrison pressed play as Emma tried to get closer to him, the space between them had already been non-existent.

It’d been around an hour since Emma and Harrison had gone upstairs. Sam had finished cooking and had texted both of them telling them to come down, only to receive no response. He had even called Harrison at one point, still no answer.

“Do you think I should go upstairs and get them?” Sam refreshed his notifications.

“You might be walking into something you don’t want to see but if you want” Harry spoke from the couch. “I’m hungry dude. Can’t we just eat without them?” Sam glared at Harry. He always tried to keep some aspect of them being a family while they were on our. Usually they ate together.

“I’m going to get them” Sam headed towards the stairs. He stopped in front of the door and listened for a moment, only to be met with a very awkward sounding rendition of ‘I want it that way’. He knocked gently. No response. A little louder, still nothing. He gently opened the door and peeked his head in.

Emma and Harrison were both fast asleep. Emma’s leg was over both of Harrisons, her hand placed on his stomach underneath his shirt, pushing it up slightly. Harrisons arms were wrapped around her, holding her close, his head rested on top on hers.

Sam stood there for a moment before shutting the door as quietly as possible and making his way down the stairs.

“We’re eating without them. Grab a plate”

Or when Harrison had finally asked her to be his girlfriend, properly.

7 days

Harrison and Emma sat in her trailer. She had one earbud in as she continued on her piece, which was now nearing four minutes in length. She held Harrisons hand and fiddled with his rings as she listened back to it. Harrison caught himself admiring her again. She bit her lip gently, focused on her work in front of her, her expressions changing slightly as she reacted to her own work.

He squeezed her hand gently, getting her attention. “Hey Em?”

“Yeah?” She paused the music and pulled out the earbud, her attention now solely on him. Harrison had no idea what to say from here. His jaw was slack and he stuttered out small syllables, but couldn’t form his thoughts enough to speak.

“You alright?” Emma squeezed his hand reassuringly. Harrison nodded.

“I just” He wet his lips “I want this to be real. Not that it isn’t real right now. I don’t know I guess. I just want-”

“You want it to be official?” Emma cut him off, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah. Title and all. I want to be official. Maybe not public because fans can be insane sometimes but, official” His heart pounded against his sternum.

“Harrison.” Emma sighed. “You know I leave in a week right? I go back to Canada, and back to school” she trailed off, her eyes were sad but her grip on his hand tightened.

“I know. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything” Harrison looked down into his lap, attempting to pull his hand away, only to have it held tighter.

“That being said. I’m willing to do the distance if you are?” Emma smiled sheepishly. A grin spread across Harrisons features as he crashed his lips into hers.

“I’ll take that as a yes?” Emma laughed as they pulled apart.

“A million times”

Then there was all the moments on set. Stolen kisses between her and Harrison, everytime he hugged her from behind as they watched the scene, or every time she somehow ended up wearing his jacket, certainly much too large for her.

Here they were now. The three Holland boys, plus Haz, Emma, Michael and Iris all at the airport. Emma had gone with Michael and Iris. She had already said goodbye to everyone once, but Tom wasn’t about to not see her off at the airport.

“It was wonderful working with you this summer Emma. I hope we cross paths again one day. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you, because from what i’ve seen you create, I know it’ll be amazing” Michael pulled Emma into a side hug. “If you ever want some feedback, you can send me whatever you’re working on. Or if you ever want something published, that also applies”

“Thank you Michael. I appreciate it a lot. It’s been an amazing summer” Emma looked towards Iris. “And thank you for putting up with me this summer”

“You were a handful, that’s for sure” Iris replied. Emma had never heard her talk sarcastically, but she did this time. A smile crossed Iris’ lips “I’ll miss you though kiddo” She took Emma’s hand in hers, squeezing it gently.

“We’ll leave you guys be. Stay safe Emma.” Michael spoke. Emma nodded in response as they turned, walking towards the exit of the airport. Emma turned towards the four boys sighing as tears already filled her eyes.

The four boys all hugged her at once. All of them muttering something along the lines of ‘Don’t cry’. Emma laughed quietly. A hand ran up and down her back, she didn't know whose. Tom? Maybe?

“You guys really didn’t have to come” Emma pulled out of the hug

“Yes we did” Sam articulated “You’re our friend we’re not going to go without saying goodbye”

“Well I did already say goodbye to all of you on set”

“Doesn’t count” Tom shakes his head “Its not real until it’s last minute”

Emma laughed as she wiped a tear off her cheek, shoving her hands back into her sweatpants pockets.

Harry opened his arms for Emma. He pulled her into a tight hug “I’m gonna miss you Emma”

“I’ll miss you too Harry. You and your stupid bandanas” Emma pulled away, chuckling at Harrys reaction. He started to speak only to be cut off by the intercom informing them she had 20 minutes until boarding.

“Looks like we better speed this process up a little bit” Tom stepped towards Emma, pulling her into his arms.

“It’s fine. They call first class first anyways so we should be fine” Emma felt Tom laugh

“Check your ticket again” Emma pulled away and looked at her ticket, glaring back up at Tom.

“I would’ve been fine in business class Tom” She crossed her arms

“Hey. Consider it a goodbye present. For my favourite intern on set. I’m gonna miss you Em” He rubbed her shoulders.

“I wasn’t an intern. I got payed. But I’ll miss you too Tom” She looked towards Sam and smiled, stepping towards him. Harrison still had yet to say anything besides ‘hello’ when they’d shown up.

“You can’t leave me alone with these divs Em” Sam chuckled as Emma hugged him “You’re abandoning me and that’s not nice”

“I promise you. You’re stuck with me now whether you like it or not”

“Oh great” Sam pulled away. “Stay in touch yeah? I’m gonna miss you too much”

Emma nodded, sniffling back her tears. Tom spoke up.

“Let’s walk back to the car. Haz you know where we parked?” Tom looked towards Harrison. He had tears in his eyes and his cheeks and ears were red, he nodded “Yeah. I’ll text if I can’t find you guys” Harrison spoke quietly, not fully trusting his voice

The brothers headed towards the exit, leaving Harrison and Emma alone, other than the busy airport around them. They couldn’t care less about that right now though. Harrison immediately wrapped one arm around Emma’s waist and the other around her shoulders, pulling her to his chest. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes.

“I don’t wanna go. I want to stay on set. And go to Croatia” Her words were muffled by his chest. “I want to stay here with you, Haz”

“I know I wish you could stay too but you have to go Em. You have school. I’m always only a text or a phone call away.” A tear fell from his eye and he wiped it away quickly. He pulled away from the hug reluctantly, still keeping her close.

“You promise?” Emma wiped her eyes, trying to stop the tears. Harrison smiled sadly.

“I promise” He leaned down to press their lips together. The kiss was filled with passion and longing. Neither of them knowing when the next time they’re going to see each other. Hopefully soon. But neither can be sure.

The intercom called for her to board as they pulled away from each other. Emma muttered a sarcastic ‘fucking great’ under her breath.

“Text me when you land okay, love?” Harrison rested his forehead against hers as she nodded. Emma pressed her lips together, more tears on the verge of falling. She was almost certainly going to cry on the plane. “Thank you” Harrison whispered, kissing her softly one final time before they separated. Harrison watched as she boarded the plane, she turned around and waved right before she was out of sight. He stood there for a moment more before heading towards the exit.

She finally let the tears fall when she was seated on the plane, Harrison did as well once in the back of the car. All four boys evidently sad, but Harrison certainly the most.

Taglist: @rainbow-marvel @pumpkinravingparker @notimeforthemessenger @ap93mcu 

Blogs i admire who let me tag them: @avastarrrs @starksparker @starksmile @h-osterfield @marvelellie @hollandroos @upsidedownparker

[stillthewordgirl]

LOT/CC fic: Chances Are (Ch. 1)

What if Leonard had been stuck in the 1950s with Sara, Ray, and Kendra in season 1? And how the hell did they survive, anyway?

I was working on "Time & Tide" and got sidetracked by the whole "what if Leonard had been stop in the '50s in season 1 too?" question.

So I wrote it.

This is my Valentine to the CC/Legends fandom. Enjoy! (Five chapters planned.) Thanks to @larielromeniel for the beta. Can also be read here at AO3 or here at FF.net.

Later, she'll ask Len why he decided to come meet them, to leave the Waverider and cross the field toward them, his expression closed off in the way it'd been since they'd left Mick, but just a little bit of…something…glimmering in his eyes as he looks at her.

He'll shrug, when she asks, eyes holding hers again for a moment, then slipping away.

"Not sure," he'll say, studying the wall of the motel room intently. "Needed some fresh air, I guess."

She'll ask again, sometime later. That time, the answer will be different.

But that's still in the future.

At any rate, for whatever reason, he's by her side when they hear the ship's engines fire, when they all watch incredulously as it starts to rise. As she starts to run, he keeps pace, and when she stops after only a few steps, he's there too.

Ray gapes at the sky as the Waverider vanishes. Kendra's eyes are wide. Sara looks at Len and sees a fleeting flash of surprise there before his walls slam back up.

"Where did they go?" Ray asks out loud, his tone baffled.

"Better question: Why did they leave us?" Sara retorts as they stare at the sky.

"Gotta feeling they didn't want to." They all look at Snart, who's frowning at nothing in particular. After a second, he shakes his head roughly and focuses on them.

"Whatever happened, we need to get out of here," he growls, turning and casting around. For what, Sara's not sure.

Ray shakes his head in response. "We just need to stay calm. They'll be back."

"They're not coming back." Sara's responded before she even realizes she's going to say the words. She shrugs as Ray and Kendra look at her, trying to fight down an unpleasant surge of panic and hurt. "Snart's right. Let's go."

Ray's chin goes up. "Look, as a former Eagle Scout with over 100 merit badges... no big deal... the first rule of getting lost is to stay in the same place," he insists. "That way, you can be found."

Sara starts to respond, but Len's hiss interrupts her.

"Survivor, Raymond, remember?" he says in a low tone, staring at the other man a moment before flicking his eyes back to Sara. "Sara?"

There's both a note of apology for the interruption and a request for backup in the one-word question, and Sara spares just a second to wonder how they read each other so well before she complies with the latter.

"As a former member of the League of Assassins," she tells Ray, just a touch acerbically, "the first rule when you've been attacked is to keep moving."

"I sort of think League wisdom trumps the Eagle Scouts here," Kendra cuts in, with a glance of apology at Ray. "Plus, Savage is still out there."

Ray keeps protesting, but Leonard's already moving, heading for a nearby lot, and Sara catches up to him, leaving Kendra to deal with the sputtering scientist.

"Car?" she asks in a low tone.

"Mmhmm." He glances at her. "Whatever happened, I don't think it's a good idea to stay where Savage is. Especially not with Kendra with us. We've seen what he'll do to get his hands on her. And he seems to be able to sense her."

"True." Sara bites her lip, thinking. "Just get outta Harmony Falls, then figure out where else?"

"Yeah. Got some thoughts on that." He shrugs as she glances at him. "You think I wouldn't get the lay of the land before we got here?"

I think you've been the next best thing to a ghost since…whatever happened with Mick. But she doesn't say it. And she's still trying to keep her mind on the problem at hand so she doesn't think too hard about why the Waverider left, when it'll be back, if it'll ever be back…

"Right," is all she says as they zero in on a lonely red Dodge at the edge of the lot. "I got this."

Len looks duly impressed at her ability to hotwire a car, and Sara tries not to look at the delinquent watching her avidly as she makes a quip about dating delinquents to Kendra. She waves him into the driver's seat –he's the one who's studied the maps, after all, and it is 1958—and claims shotgun, both of them ignoring Ray's protests.

Although Sara knows that Harmony Falls is no worse than many other areas at this time—and probably better than some—she feels her shoulders relax just a tiny bit when they cross the city limits. Gazing out the window, she silently wishes Lindsay luck, even as a tiny part of her is glad to have the temptation posed by the other woman removed.

Ray and Kendra argue quietly in the back seat. Leonard drives on, in silence.

He stops only four times that day: once while they're cutting through another nearby city, only to vanish into a general store with only a terse command to "wait." Sara watches as he emerges a few moments later, holding a small bag, just in perfect time to bump into a self-important-looking man in a suit who's walking by. They both carry on with apologies, but Sara's smirking as he slides into the driver's seat again, tossing both the bag and a black leather wallet into her lap.

"You didn't." Ray sounds horrified.

"Multitasking, Raymond." Leonard starts the car again, pulling away from the curb smoothly. "We need to ditch this car, get one that's legit, and we need money. He was heading for the bank down the street. It was a decent bet."

Sara checks the wallet and nods in satisfaction at the cash in it. Between the four of them, they actually have a decent sum on them—between the money of the time Rip makes them carry "just in case" and a little money Len had apparently "acquired" in Harmony Falls, to the surprise of no one. (Just to keep his hand in, he says.) But it's going to go fast, and he's also right about the car.

"But…but…what if he needed that money? To pay for his mortgage or something? What if he has kids? What…"

"Him or us, Raymond." Len's voice is terse. "Got a better idea?"

Ray doesn't, although Sara can see the hangdog expression in his eyes via the rearview mirror. She glances at Leonard and sees the lines of tension around his own eyes, the straight line of his mouth. He's not precisely happy with this either, she thinks, but he's right. What else are they going to do?

The panic starts to rise again and she pushes it down, ruthlessly.

Next, they stop again at a small-town car dealership that's pretty much in the middle of nowhere, and Leonard promptly vanishes into the office with the burly man who approaches the vehicle. Sara recognizes his attempt to keep the rest of them out of the man's view and nods to herself. After a moment's thought, she turns in her seat to hold a low conversation with Kendra as Ray sulks just a bit in his seat.

She can't blame him, in some ways. The lack of control of this whole situation is infuriating, frustrating. But the Boy Scout worldview isn't going to help them here. Well, maybe it would help Ray…just not the rest of them.

By the time Len and the salesman emerge, Sara reads their gestures (she's pretty sure Len's telegraphing his for their benefit) and judges that he's traded their Dodge for an even more nondescript sedan parked nearby. Not a fair trade, and she's pretty sure he's given the man a bit more cash for his silence, but since the salesman comes out of it ahead, it should be as safe as it can be.

Still. After a moment, Sara gets out of the car and saunters toward the salesman, drawing his eyes to her as Kendra drags Ray from the old car and into the new one. She catches a flicker of approval in Leonard's eyes and a smirk on his face as he registers her distraction. He takes her arm in an almost proprietary fashion, giving the salesman something else to focus on and a story to extrapolate from the whole situation.

And people tend to stick to the stories they make up for themselves. The crook and the assassin know that.

As they pull away in the new car, Sara sees the salesman pulling the old license plates off the Dodge. Good.

In the next larger town, they stop a third time, with Len telling/asking Ray to run into a drug store to grab sandwiches for them all.

"We can't get something more substantial?" the other man asks a bit plaintively. "There's a diner over there…"

But Len cuts in again as the scientist's voice trails off.

"You do realize, Raymond, that, in this era, there are places that might not…look kindly…on the four of us eating a meal together on the premises." His tone is as dry as dust. "And since we don't know what's safe and what isn't—and Savage, if he tries to track us, will be looking for a unique group such as ourselves—it's better if we stay out of the public eye."

Ray blinks, but Kendra's nodding, a certain wry twist to her mouth.

"I remember," she says simply. "Ray, Harmony Falls really wasn't that bad, in many ways. There were looks, and comments, but…" She shakes her head. "And we're trying to stay more under the radar, now, just in case Savage tracks us. Snart's right."

Ray gets the sandwiches. Len doesn't even rub it in.

When they stop again, it's late, well past sunset. Even Sara, used to going without sleep, is exhausted, and she's pretty sure Ray and Kendra have pretty much nodded off in the back seat. She glances at Len again as he parks the car in a motel parking lot, noting the tell-tales of weariness in his expression

"I know we need to conserve cash, but get two rooms if you can, Raymond," he says, leaning his head back against the seat and closing his eyes. "We need to sleep and that ain't gonna work well if all four of us are crammed in one room."

Ray, still blinking drowsiness out of his eyes, opens his mouth, then closes it, nodding. He heads for the lit-up office without another word. After a moment, Kendra murmurs that she's going to stretch her legs and climbs out of the car herself.

Sara draws in a deep breath, holds it a few seconds, then lets it out, trying to send some tension with it. She'd been a little worried Len meant to drive all night, and she could have understood why.

The silence stretches, there in the car, and Sara tries rather desperately not to think about their situation. About her increasing conviction that the ship isn't coming back, about what sort of place she can find for herself in 1958, about…

"How you holdin' up?"

Sara blinks as the quiet words tear into the frantic circle of her thoughts…which is, she realizes, precisely why he'd spoken. She glances over at Leonard again and sees the understanding there before he conceals it behind his usual walls.

"OK," she says finally. "Well…that's probably an overstatement. I'm…trying not to think too hard about it."

And there's the understanding again.

"Same," he admits, and she knows Leonard well enough at this point to realize how rare that sort of admission is. She's even more surprised when he continues. "Right now, it's still survival mode. Food, transportation, sleep…someplace safe for all of us to go to ground…" Sara watches his fingers flex on the steering wheel. "Eh. One thing at a time."

Sara nods, studying his face in the shadows. "Don't take this the wrong way," she says suddenly, "but I'm glad you're here."

His eyes, gray in the darkness, dart to hers, but after a second, the honest surprise in them is buried in amusement, and a slight edge of cynicism.

"Raymond may be a genius," he drawls, "but he's not that practical. And far too honest. My skill set…and yours, I'm sure…work better with the whole subterfuge thing."

That's not quite what she'd meant…or at least, not all she'd meant, but Sara lets it go. She peers around Leonard, watching Ray step out of the motel office and head back toward them. He's smiling.

"Looks like he has two keys," she points out, then glances back at Len, making a decision.

"Wanna let the lovebirds have a room?" she asks lightly. "They've gotten used to playing house, and I don't think I want to deal with it."

Len leans his head back against the seat, eyeing her, the corner of his mouth ticking up.

"Thank god," he mutters after a few beats. "I was worried you might make me bunk with the Boy Scout."

Sara snorts at him, perfectly willing to take refuge in snark for the moment. "I really don't want you taking the car and heading for the hills in the middle of the night because you've had enough of the Ray Palmer approach to life," she tells him. "I'm not sure what I'd do if you left me alone with the lovebirds. Lose my mind, probably."

Again, they're joking but not joking. And both of them know it.

Len stares at her in the shadows. "I'd ask you to go with me," he says suddenly, tone split between the sardonic sort of humor they've both been using and utter sincerity. "If I did."

Sara swallows. "Promise?" she asks, again, lightly.

He doesn't get a chance to respond, though, because Ray's tapping on the car window, looking pleased with himself. Leonard sighs and gives Sara a speaking glance before popping the door and getting out. Smiling a little, Sara follows suit.

Kendra, who's been walking through the lot and looking out at the lights of the nearby city, walks back over too, smiling at Ray, who beams at her.

"I got two rooms!" he says, holding up the keys. "But…"

Leonard's snatched one from his hand before he even finishes speaking, noting the number on the fob and turning for the motel. "Excellent," he drawls. "Go get some sleep. We have to keep moving tomorrow and I'm not waiting around because you and Bird Girl got frisky and aren't rested."

Ray sputters behind him, protesting, but Sara just winks at the grinning Kendra and follows Len as he strolls down the row of rooms. She glances over her shoulder just in time to see Ray and Kendra vanishing into another one of them, but nearly bumps into Len, who's opened No. 9 and stopped in his tracks in the doorway. Shaking her head, she peers around him.

The room seems clean enough, if spartan.

And there's just one king bed in it.

Sara makes a small, amused noise at the sight and Len's reaction, then worms her way around him, walking in to the room to drop with a sigh on the edge of the bed and kick off her heels. Weariness overtakes her and she closes her eyes for a moment, letting herself relax a little as she ponders what to say.

After a moment, she decides to go with pure matter-of-factness.

"Can you keep your hands to yourself?" she asks Len, opening her eyes to see the no-shit look he levels at her and then smiling at it. "Then we're fine. We're both adults."

He looks like he's not quite convinced, but he also looks like he's very nearly ready to pass out. After a moment, he shrugs, dropping down onto the bed himself, then stretching out with a sigh and throwing an arm over his eyes.

"Want the bathroom first?" he asks, voice muffled.

Sara considers. "Yeah. Thanks." She glances around, then grabs the small bag from their earlier stop, the store Len had used as a blind of sorts from which to pick a target. Practical as always, he'd also purchased toothbrushes, toothpaste, combs, and some soap. She'd passed Ray and Kendra theirs earlier. "And thanks for this, too."

"No problem." His arm is still over his face. "Being trapped in a car with Raymond is bad enough. I don't need morning breath times four, too."

But however snarky the words are, the gesture was a true one…and it's appreciated. Sara turns for the bathroom with a smile on her face, allowing him his subterfuge.

By the time she emerges, breathing a sigh of relief at the feeling of having been able to scrub up, he's waiting for the bathroom himself, slipping inside without a word of acknowledgement.

Sara shrugs, then efficiently strips out of her skirt and blouse, peeling the stockings and accompanying garters off with another sigh of relief and pondering the best way to sleep comfortably and not potentially freak out the notoriously body-shy Snart. Not that it's her body he seems to be shy of—he hasn't precisely hidden his admiration of it, and in another time and place she'd consider laying across the bed in her underwear and the stockings just to see his reaction. But they're both on edge, and he's become too good a friend to mess with in such a gratuitous way, especially now that they're relying on each other in a way they've never had to rely on each other before.

Fifties women's undergarments are pretty voluminous, and Gideon tends to scold them about maintaining authenticity, just in case one of them is injured and, well, stuck in another time. So Sara's wearing the rather—extensive-underwear the AI had recommended, as well as a full slip that she's actually quite fond of. She'd gone against authenticity and kept her sports bra, which is in itself reasonably modest, and decides it's comfortable enough to stay.

Yawning, she crawls under the bedspread, glad the room is relatively warm, and waits for Len. She could use the conversation, even if it's just a few minutes of their habitual snark and innuendo.

He emerges after few more minutes, pausing only a moment as he sees her curled up under the covers. She can see him drag in a breath before he stoops to remove his shoes, after which he crosses the room to make sure the door is locked and flick off the light.

Then he drops onto the far side of the bed—still wearing jeans and black sweater and more, pretty much every layer he has except his coat.

Sara stares at him a moment, eyes growing accustomed to the darkness that's barely illuminated by the faint light coming in from the parking lot.

"Don't be an idiot," she says finally. "You can't sleep in that."

The silence from his side of the bed is mutinous.

"I'm serious, Snart." Sara sighs. "Look. At least take off some of those layers. T-shirt and boxers?" Even as she speaks, she realizes there's no damned way he wears boxers. Not underneath those skinny jeans. (And OK, so maybe she's guilty of watching his ass, too.)

After a pause, she continues. "Keep the lights off, I'm not going to be a jerk about it. Take a sheet and wrap up in it if you want. OK? You spent the whole damned day driving. Get comfortable."

She keeps her tone matter of fact, and after a moment, she hears a sigh from the far side of the bed. Len rises and pads back into the bathroom. After a few minutes, he returns, and in the faint light she can see the skin he keeps so diligently covered, forearms and shins and knees, although he's still somewhat covered by a T-shirt and, apparently, briefs.

He pauses a moment, then slips under the covers himself, murmuring a quiet "night" and rolling over to face away from her.

He trusts her enough to do that. Doesn't matter than the lights are off. Doesn't matter that they're both covered. He trusts her.

Sara sighs again, and then closes her eyes, letting her exhaustion carry her off to sleep.

Unfortunately, she dreams.

Despite his unease with his current state of undress—and to be frank, his unease in a completely different way with the state of undress he's pretty sure Sara's in—Len falls asleep nearly immediately. He's just too damned tired, and he's been in too much of a hyperaware state ever since he realized the Waverider was lifting off without them.

Longer than that, probably. But he's not going to think about that.

He's not sure how long he sleeps before he finds himself awake again, groggily staring at the ceiling while his brain decides to present him with everything he should be thinking about and everything he doesn't want to think about.

He doesn't want to think about how he's lost his cold gun, left behind on the Waverider when he'd decided to walk out to meet Sara…the others.

He doesn't want to think about how now he has no way to go back for Mick. Something he swore to himself he'd find a way to do. (Mick will cool down. He always does. He just needs time. Right?)

He doesn't want to think about never seeing Lisa again.

He doesn't want to think about why he feels so stupidly responsible for Raymond and Kendra and…well, not precisely Sara, who's a survivor every bit as much as he is, but he won't, can't turn his back on her. And he doesn't want to think about why he feels that way, either, he thinks uneasily.

He even doesn't want to think about the others on the ship, the kid and the professor and even the Brit, doesn't want to wonder if they've alive or dead.

About how they might never be back.

His thoughts are chasing themselves in circles so much that it takes a minute or two, maybe longer, for him to realize what else he's hearing, there in the quiet of the room, outside the turmoil in his own head.

Sara is crying. Nearly silently, trying desperately to conceal it, but she's weeping, breath ragged and desperate.

Why? Because she's been trying not to think about all these things too? Because she's let herself acknowledge she might never see her sister, her parents, again? Because this time hates nearly everything about who she is and what she's made of herself?

And then, lying there in the dark, Leonard Snart realizes with a good deal of bemusement that he can let Sara Lance cry herself out alone about as much as he could have abandoned her back in Harmony Falls. Or about as much as he could have taken a side that didn't include her, back on the ship, when Mick blew everything to pieces.

Which is to say, he can't.

Trying not to think about it too hard, he rolls over, facing her across the expanse of the bed, and tentatively reaches out a hand, clearing his throat in warning before he lets his fingertips brush against her shoulder.

"Sara?" he whispers. "Sara."

Sara lets out a strangled breath, tensing, then relaxes, deliberately. He listens to her breathe for another moment, then she sighs.

"M'OK," she whispers. "Sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't."

It shouldn't take much to realize he's having trouble sleeping, too, and she does, he's pretty sure, turning to look at him, expression unreadable in the dim light.

He hesitates, then reaches out to touch her shoulder again, feeling like he's dreaming, and in a dream, this is OK, right? It's not a big deal to drag his fingertips down her arm, to tentatively, cautiously, wrap his hand around hers, to tug her gently toward him.

"C'mere," he whispers. "I mean…if you want to."

His grip is barely worthy of the name, really, and it would be the easiest thing in the world for her to break it, to stay where she is, if his comfort, his presence, aren't something she wants or welcomes. He still can't quite believe he's doing this, actually, and he's already regretting being so…so damned soft… and…

And with a sigh like she's laying down a burden, Sara moves into his arms with a stifled sob, her own arms going around his shoulders, hands gripping the soft fabric of his T-shirt like she's never going to let him go. She buries her face in his collarbone and he can feel the heat of her tears on his skin even as his arms go around her, one hand buried in her hair, the other arm wrapped around her waist.

It's too much contact. And yet…it's not. It's oddly OK, here in the dark, where they can both almost pretend they're dreaming, that this whole damn thing is just a nightmare and they can chase each other's demons away just by their presence, by being there for each other in the night.

But it's not a dream. They're going to have to get up in the morning, and keep surviving, keep moving. Keep adapting to a time neither one of them ever really wanted any part of. Keeping hoping that somehow, the ship will come back for them.

Neither of them wants to think about it.

But at least, Len thinks, gently, combing his fingers through Sara's hair as her breathing evens out and he finally starts to drift off himself, at least they're not alone.

[jaku-the-askblog]

Aku Headcanon: Powers/Origin

((so im gunna geek out a little bit here about my personal ideas of Aku’s powers/what exactly he is and how that ties into the series, ok? Ok

Prepare for the long haul on this one guys

(Small disclaimer: this isnt a scientific/psychological thing, and im pretty sure this ain’t even close to what Genndy wanted to be canon. These are my ideas, pertaining to the askblog and a certain fic universe, based on canon, of my Aku. Lets move on)

I. So what is Aku according to Abby?

Firstly, despite whatever canonically or fanon-wise in my own series’ Jack and Aku himself (and others) call him, Aku isn’t a demon/wizard/etc. We already know, pretty much canonically, that Aku is one of a kind. Which means beings like Demongo, his minions, others, aren’t even close to what Aku is.

^A babby Aku leaves his nest to fend for himself in the harsh and unforgiving wild

Unless you wanna go on the theory that Aku’s minions are also him but lets not right now

I refuse to accept that Aku is “pure evil” unless you want to get into moral debate and the theories on what constitutes “evil,” because perhaps in the perspective of that universe he is the Worst Evil Ever but comparatively to our own world and especially my own perspective he really...isn’t. Which isn’t to say he’s done downright vile and awful and evil things, because he really has! He’s just not “pure evil.” I firmly believe that it’s just what we’re being fed, because all that we know about Aku is really from the perspective of other characters (ie, Jack’s father being the one that created Aku and immediately assuming that he’s something to be destroyed). And Aku seems to run with this because, realistically, it’s all he’s ever known/tried.

(I have additional input on Aku’s birth and his “starting” personality, but I will save that for another time)

(“But the gods said—” you start.

“FUCK the gods,” I spit back, punching Odin in his remaining eye, “Theyre fuckin useless as shit anyway”)

HOWEVER, I think Aku is something more like a conscious controlling what’s essentially pure magic from that universe in physical form, with magic being like a manipulatable energy source according to that universe’s rules. I think that, much like in the Avatar (the animated series not the atrocious live action one) series, the way this magic/energy can be used varies from person to person, from being to being. And a being like Aku, who’s made up of the stuff, is going to inherently be more powerful and more versatile than anyone else that just uses magic but wasn’t born from it. AND his magic is more wild and free and flexible than the contained/inherited forms of it that other mortals have.

And from there it only gets more fun.

You see, we never really hear/see Aku mention his time spent as the Black Goop, which likely infers he either couldn’t form into something that could speak/move around or he just doesn’t remember in the way a human might. Either way means he had no control over himself. Which only feeds my theory that Aku’s just a brain constantly controlling what are really just mindless drones with power to do his bidding much like his/the entity’s former shape.

I also theorize that, if he didn’t have the same kind of consciousness, the Black Goop was absorbing anyone/thing that came into contact because that was the only thing the mindless, physical manifest of magic knew to do. It can’t think to express itself! It can’t think to grow legs and walk around!

But on the other hand, if he was...some kind of mind in there, but couldn’t form into a shape, perhaps he was latching onto living things, trying to learn about them, trying to find some form of escape. I haven’t worked out which he was in the goop form as of yet, but either works really.

I do think that’s why the gods were trying to destroy the entity, because they knew that if it started wandering around the universe in a semi-tangible form, especially with the power it originally had, wild and free, then it would cause effortless and wide-spread chaos.

And somehow Jack’s father’s fire gave him/the magic the power to form a brain, buuuut it has its limitations from Aku.

Let’s take a closer look.

II. Aku’s Essence vs Aku Infection

In episodes like the Ultrabots, the final episode, and even in the comics, we see that when Aku has his essence control/power others, he retains some level of control over the individual to do his bidding. They also sometimes gain his powers, but I think that’s also under his control.

So what’s the difference between this and the Aku Infection?

I don’t think Aku knew about Jack getting infected. And instead, Jack was the one that made himself into Aku.

This really boils down to semantics and me wanting to go completely off my rocker here, so bear with me.

^Accurate depiction of abby now

First, though it is typical of Aku, we never see him attempt this again. If you want to include the IDW comics, he doesn’t even consider it in issue 10. Instead, he uses his time in Jack’s mind to eat his memories.

HOWEVER within the episode itself, we see an interesting progression of things:

Jack steals jewels from the explorers without realizing it

Argues with himself (!!) about rescuing a stranded sightseer and the reward if he does so (which he demands for money) yet doesn’t seem to notice the fact he’s doing so

Begins to feel irritated and twitchy as well as itchy (likely as his skin changes)

STILL SOMEHOW FAILS TO NOTICE HIS BODY CHANGING

Begins to speak/look more like Aku as time goes on

(Also, a minor, tiny detail but: no beard. Hmmmmm)

NOW let’s consider something here: normally Aku controls his essence to do as he wishes. In fact, he typically immediately controls his subjects. But Aku wasn’t in good shape when we see him first in this episode, nor is his state brought up again.

What (or shall I say who) is typically on the forefront of Jack’s mind, and he associates with darkness?

Thaaat’s right! Aku!

^This is what happens when you jack off too often kids

So I think, at this point, however subconsciously, Aku’s essence/that magic latched onto what Jack associated with that start of darkness and became what he thought it would be.

It became his idea of Aku. And it simply ran with it, because that is the first and most powerful thing Jack thought of. After all, Jack has no experience in controlling magic, and especially not one as powerful as Aku’s. And that magic, now detached from the main consciousness, is basically just trying to find it’s way out in him, so it was mindlessly searching for the easiest way to be “expressed.”

By examining Jack-Aku’s behavior and wording more closely, I’d like to point out something. Right after Jack FINALLY realizes what’s happening, we have this exchange:

Jack: “This cannot be happening!”

“Aku:” “Oh yes it can!”

Jack: “Must…keep…control!”

“Aku:” “Yeah! Gotta get a grip.”

Jack: “Need help. The monks—!”

“Aku:” “I got to find those accursed monks!”

Now, does this actually sound like something Aku would say, or like someone who’s imitating Aku would say?

Hm. Let’s look at another example.

It’s close, I’ll give Jack-Aku that! But it’s a little…too close. Again, like someone’s doing an impression of Aku.

It is close to things Aku has said before, but it still feels just off to me.

Jack-Aku certainly fights a little differently, but there’s still more touches of Jack than Aku in there. Sure his swings are more brutal, but then there’s stuff like this:

^SUPERHERO LANDING

That doesn’t look like an Aku pose to me. That’s a Jack one.

Now I do realize, as I said, most of this is just semantics and most of it could be explained away with “Aku was just fucking with Jack.” But I dunno, that just seems like it’s not what’s really going on, especially since we don’t see the original Aku trying to control Jack, much like how we got a hint of that in the Ultrabots and even in Mad Jack.

Interestingly, season 5 seems to support this!

You see, I think the priestess wanted to bear Aku’s children, so that’s what his magic did for her. There was probably something in her head that thought seven was a good number, so that’s what happened for her. As for why the essence didn’t overwhelm Ashi and her sisters before, I suspect that it became combined with their DNA in order to sustain them (as the priestess wished; at least until they “lived” until she was done with them) and became dormant until Aku “reactivated” it.

And then, Ashi is initially overwhelmed by Aku’s essence, but once she takes it for her own—

^THATS MY GIRL

It becomes her own. She’s owning Aku’s powers, Aku’s essence, Aku’s magic for her own use. It becomes what she wants it to be.

Jack never did that because he never took it. He allowed himself to be overwhelmed by it, letting it do it’s own thing inside him, and it nearly transformed him into his own Grand Theft Me nightmare.

III. Aku’s Powers (and the actual powers of the sword)

Ok ok, so what does this all have to do with Aku’s powers? Well, like I mentioned earlier, Aku is made up of pure energy that can be made into (almost) anything he wants to do with it.

“So why doesn’t he just do _ to kill Jack?!?!?!”

That’s actually quite simple: Because Aku has no idea what he is either.

^Aku voice: AWHUA

He has literally no frame of reference, no concept or comparison. All he’s ever really gotten is from others, who call him “evil,” “demon,” “wizard,” etc. He knows he’s more powerful than any being in the mortal world, but he doesn’t know how or why. He simply is.

(This feeds back into that linked post from the beginning about Aku being something of a narcissist, because he makes himself into whatever others think of him in order to be “accepted.” But I have more words on that idea at a later point when I can get all these thoughts about his powers out of the way, though I firmly emphasize that I’m not even close to a major in psychology so I’m not fit to diagnose him with anything, really. This is all just for funsies)

It’s how I explain his ability to pop random powers out without notice or mention of them again, ie creating a dark clone of Jack, encasing a living man in stone while also making him immortal?, telepathically manipulating objects from afar, RAISING THE FUCKING DEAD, etc etc. He knows he has tremendous powers, but does he explore their limits? Find out what all he can do? No! And why would he, if he’s already immortal and immune to everything? He only seeks out to use these powers like that when it conveniences him.

And yea, that would be his own fault. But it’s his life, and he’ll do as he pleases.

Now, let’s get to the sword.

It’s heavily implied (if not outright stated) that the sword is made from Jack’s father’s spirit/soul. The gods insist that only the strength of such a thing, combined with the virtue of “human righteousness” can destroy Aku. This is where they say he’s a “force of ultimate evil” and all that, but I already don’t like that the gods are entrusting this “duty,” which they started but didn’t finish, onto a mortal. Mighty suspicious.

So how exactly does the sword work if Aku isn’t made of evil, but instead pure magic? Easy. The sword destroys that magic from Aku’s physical form. It’s literally cutting away his control and his power, in a harsher and far worse way than if Aku were to be using his energy on his own. And the gods basically made a soul contract with Jack’s father to give it that power without there being serious repercussions on the wielder of the weapon. Because technically destroying a magic/energy like that should totally backfire and act more like splitting an atom than a cool firey-burning effect.

^( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So Aku and his powers are in a constant state of decay-recovery, because he’s using his own body to do all these powers and abilities, but the sword speeds up the decay process faster than Aku can recover. And yes, Aku using massive amounts of magic quickly with little or no recovery period would do a similar thing, but the sword will always take longer and threaten to do more permanent damage for that than Aku using his magic himself, because it destroys instead of frees. And since magic is energy, Aku recovers through time and reabsorption of magic from…well, anything. Typically just the energy of the universe, I suppose.

So why couldn’t/didn’t Jack’s father destroy Aku the first time?

Because he didn’t make a final strike. Instead he allowed even the smallest sliver of Aku to persist. And if you do that, then you give Aku ability to reform.

(“But what about in season five when—“ you try again.

“It was bullshit and you know it,” I say as I firmly curb-stomp that “final fight” scene.)

So why did Aku get turned into a tree and was imprisoned?

….Yeah I haven’t worked that one out yet either, I’ll give you that. I’m thinking it may have something to do with cutting away so much of Aku that his mind is locked away and stripped of its power over his body, but I haven’t worked out all the fine points yet.

Aku makes his choices to do evil things, to follow his own will (whatever his will may be) but he’s still limited by his own mind and what he believes he’s capable of, due to mainly just being too lazy/unwilling to try anything else. Yes, of course like I said outside forces only contributed to this, effectively helping him make his own box to put himself in, but it only explains why he’s like that. It doesn’t excuse him, and ultimately his choices were still his own.

PHEW well I think that’s about all for now! Hope I made sense and you enjoyed reading! I’ve been stewing on this one for a long, long while, but only recently got half a mind to coherently jot it all down and explain it, so there’s probably a few holes here and there, forgive me... :,D

Thanks necessary for:

@strawberry-smilodon, for reading my draft!! and then i kept adding more...and more... and more.....

Obv @teacupballerina, for basically doing most of the theorizing waaaaay before i even got back into this fandom and inspiring my own mind to start thinking harder about Aku and canon :3

all my friends that tolerated me geeking out about this before i wrote it all down...i love yall 😙

And thank YOU for reading!!!

[rosesforkl]

A Christmas in Space (ft. The Holt Siblings)

Merry Christmas @hattmolt !! I was your secret santa, and this is my piece! I hope you like it as i very much tried!

(p.s. I swear I was going to write some autistic Matt, but I ended up failing and didn’t want to offend anyone)

It was strange that Lance had convinced Allura and Coran to help him at least try to decorate for Christmas. But it had been a fun day for the paladins.

Everyone was helping set up for the small party they were going to have. It was last minute, but it was still going to be fun. So far they had found something put as the tree, and Hunk had already made some cookies.

Sometime during what seemed to be the afternoon, Matt came into Pidge's room, dragging many wires of what seemed to be Christmas lights. "Hey Pidge, what're you doing in here? Aren't you going to come out and join us?"

"Already came out, so that's not possible," Pidge joked. She added a wink for effect.

Matt snorted, dropping the lights in the doorway and going for the bed. "Very funny, Pidge. But seriously, come join us. Right now, Lance challenged Keith to see who can decorate cookies the best."

"Sounds like something he would do, and with Keith nonetheless," Pidge chuckled. She thought about it and came to the conclusion that Lance, would in fact, win this. She closed her laptop and put it to side. "So, what's with the lights?"

"I was put to decorate the halls, because apparently I've done nothing but eat cookies all day." Matt laughed, glancing at the bundle of lights in the middle of the doorway. He smirked and grabbed Pidge's hand, tugging it as he got up. "How about you help me put them up? Y'know, Sister-Brother Bonding Time?"

She snorted, but got up along with her brother nonetheless. It had been a while since she got some proper time with her brother. By a while, she means since they had been reunited.

"Do you want some lights in your room, like I know you already have the white ones, but these are colorful." He picks up the bundle and holds them to Pidge.

"Yeah, no thanks, I'm good with the ones I have."

"Hey Matt! What do you think?" Pidge holds up the plate with her decorated Christmas cookie. Her smile is big as she waits for her brother.

Matt, who was attempting to decorate his own cookie, looks over at his sister. On her cookie was a blue blob with two white dots. "It's...great," Matt says, attempting to be enthusiastic even though he had no idea what the blob was supposed to be.

"Really?" Pidge asks, taking her cookie and putting it on Matt's plate. "You can have it, it's for you!"

"Oh, okay, thanks." Matt offers a smile and waits for his sister to do something else before he continues decorating his own cookie. But instead, he just stared at Pidge, who just watched him. "OH, did you... did you want me to eat it now?"

"I mean, you don't have to! But it'd be totally cool if you did!" Pidge playfully punches her brother and laughs. She reaches over to the middle of the table and grabs another cookie.

Matt's smile becomes bigger and he looks at everyone else. He shares a look with Shiro, who simply smiles and shrugs.

As much fun as it had been to get to celebrate the holiday, the day seemed to drag on forever.

Everyone was either in the kitchen, or passed out somewhere close by. Except for Matt, who was aimlessly wandering the castle in search of his little sister. She had disappeared after a while without saying where she was going.

He was very much past the point of giving up, that he simply walked around. Pidge was good at hiding, she was.

"You look dead inside."

Turning around, Matt saw his sister with her mouth with cookies. "Where have you been?"

"The kitchen? With everyone else?" Pidge seemed almost as confused as Matt. "I left so I could follow you wherever you're going."

Matt gave her a blank expression. It couldn't have been possible that she was in the kitchen. Matt had made himself look like a fool when he searched everywhere in the room.

"Where exactly were you in the kitchen?" Matt asked, furrowing his brows in a mix of confusion and fascination.

"Lance dared me to hide in the oven, and I did. But then I couldn't breathe, so I moved under to sink," Pidge explained. She smirked as she watched her brother grow even more confused. "Surprised, aren't ya?"

"To think I actually got worried!" Matt exclaimed. He laughed though.

"Worried? Puh-lease! I'm a paladin of Voltron, Matt! If I can defend the universe, I can most definitely defend myself!" Pidge made the most heroic pose she was able to think of, feeling mighty and proud of herself. But she laughed the moment Matt did.

"You're so weird, I like it!" Matt ruffled Pidge's hair, smiling the biggest smile he could. "A defender of the universe, huh? I'm so proud of you, lil sis! Mom and dad would be too!"

Pidge smiled. "Hey, I gotta show you something, yeah?"

"Yeah."

It didn't take long for Pidge to drag her brother to her room. She had him sit on the bed and close his eyes. She even threatened him if he dared to open them.

After a minute, Matt was allowed to open his eyes. He was met with a box in front of him. It was wrapped... as best as possible, and there was a note on it reading To Matt, From Pidge.

"For me?" He asked, flipping the note over.

"Well, duh! It has your name on it!" Pidge exclaimed. She playfully kicked Matt's leg, who pretended to be hurt.

"It also has your name on it." He holds up the piece of paper to show her.

"Aside from the obvious To and From, touché. Now open it!"

He glanced up at his sister, who stood proudly in front of him. He chuckled and took off the note, putting it on the bed. He looked up again at Pidge, who seemed nervous.

After taking off the wrapping paper, Matt stared the the small brown box in front of him. He picked it up and gave it a little shake, "is there even anything in here?"

"Of course there is! I'm not selfish, Matt!" Pidge rolled her eyes and waited for Matt to take off the kid.

"Alright, alright!" Matt, carefully, took off the lid, bracing himself for whatever was in it. When nothing happened, he looked down, eyes widening.

"So, what do ya think?" Pidge asked, playing with hem of her shirt.

"Pidge..." Matt took out one of the pictures. He stared at it as if he didn't recognize the people that stood in it. "Where did you get here?"

"I kept them! Yeah, I kind of had to take them from the photo album, but I kept them!" Pidge sat next to Matt, grabbing another photo from he box.

"Is this why you've been weird all day? 'Cause you were going to give these to me?" Matt asked, looking at the rest of the photos.

"Well, yeah! At first it was because I couldn't think of a good gift to give you, but when I did... I thought you might not like it," Pidge explained. She looked down, focusing on the pictures instead of how Matt was staring at her.

"Pidge..." Matt made a sound, that Pidge would describe as a dying animal, as he hugged his sister with pure happiness. "Ah, Katie, I love it! Thank you so much!"

Pidge took a deep breath, "idiot! You're crushing me!"

"This means you have to give me something in return, ya know.”

[randomfandomimagine]

Sunshine in the Moonlight. Chapter 11: Stronger

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV

Pairing: Prompto x Alexandria (OC)

Previous Chapter - Chapter Index - Next Chapter

Wattpad - AO3

The first day in Hammerhead was long and insufferable.

I felt too apathetic to accomplish any of my goals, even if they were as simple as analyzing myself and my feelings. Yet the emptiness that their absence left was too notable.

As a result, all I did that day was merely wander around Hammerhead, idly studying the hunt possibilities and helping Cindy and Cid with the garage. Other than that, I did spend a lot of time lying down in the caravan’s bed with no luck as to understanding my own feelings or finding a solution for my struggles. It wouldn’t be so simple.

The morning of the second day was even worse, as I woke up realizing it was the first night I went to sleep completely alone. I missed Prompto’s presence next to me, Ignis’ good mornings, even Gladio’s snoring and Noctis being sprawled out still fast asleep. However, I forced myself to get up and actually do something worthwhile. Because what was the point in leaving the party if I would spend every moment missing them and not doing what I came to do on the first place? With a new found determination, I left the caravan and headed for the diner. I ordered a coffee for takeout and caught notice of a certain blond girl when I walked outside, so I approached her seeking some sort of interaction.

“Good morning, Cindy” I internally resolved to call a truce about my jealousy towards her. Cindy Aurum was a sweet, friendly girl despite my irrational enmity with her. I merely envied her, and getting over such childish mindset was a step towards improving myself.

“Mornin’ there!” She slightly distanced herself from the car she was fixing and dedicated me a grin. “Slept well?”

I shrugged, not really wanting to admit that I didn’t rest properly as my mind kept drifting off to varied subjects.

“Well, if there’s anything ya need ya ain’t even have t’ask, ‘right?” She absently got back to the engine of the car.

“Actually…” Restless, I tapped my nails against the coffee mug. “Can I ask you something?”

“Course!” Very patiently, Cindy stood up straight and glanced at me attentively. “What can I do ya for?”

“I was just wondering… What do you think about my friends?”

“Those boys? They’re sweeter’n moogle with a lollipop!”

I chuckled, endeared by such an inventive response, and nodded.

“What about… Prompto?” I bit my lip in anticipation, remembering how they made such a great couple.

“The cute little blonde?” Cindy smirked a little, crossing her arms and tilting her head to the side. “Such a nice fella!”

“That’s all?”

“What else would there be?”

“I don’t know…” I sighed, feeling stupid for needing a straight answer as to make sure I had a chance with him. Even if I wasn’t sure if I should make a move. “Do you like him? As in to go out with him sometime? Eat something together?”

“Don’t have the time, gotta stay here with Paw Paw and give ‘im a hand”

I remembered those moments in which Gladio mindlessly flirted with her, and how she rejected him without realizing what he was doing. Cindy wasn’t truly interested in boys, she was too busy with the garage and with helping her grandfather.

No matter how foolish it sounded, I was relieved by her answer.

Cindy then looked strangely at me, even if her green eyes were still glowing with friendliness and that smile never faded from her lips.

“Why do ya ask?”

“Just… making conversation…”

“If that’s everything, I’d need to get back to work”

“Of course, sorry to have kept you”

“No worries!”

I smiled at her before she got back to fixing the car and drank the last of my coffee, suddenly feeling energized. Perhaps because of the caffeine of my beverage, perhaps thanks to the spark of hope that talking to Cindy ignited in me. Whatever the case, I was determined to do some work that day.

I went back to the dinner and returned the mug, as well as studying the hunts again. There was one about sabertusks that offered a reward of seven hundred gil that sounded especially appealing. I nodded to myself and headed back outside, directly for the shop to take a look at the wares.

I still had some potions, elixirs and phoenix downs that I had been carrying around on our journey, yet I wanted to perhaps obtain a new weapon. I purchased a hand gun, being reminded of Prompto’s lessons, and assuming it would be the perfect occasion for some target practice.

Thinking of it as an investment as it would help me earn the reward from the bounty, I loaded my gun as Prompto had taught me and started walking to where the sabertusks had been spotted, close to Hammerhead. I missed the Regalia and travelling in that wonderful car with my friends. They were always in my mind.

Just as I evoked those memories, my phone vibrated in my pocket and so I picked it up to open the text message. It was from Prompto. My heart skipped a beat when I read his name in the screen and proceeded to read the message.

I know it’s been only a day since you left but… we already miss you, Xanders! =( TOT

I smiled at the adorable text followed by those many different emoticons, which were so like him. I was about to answer when another message came through, and it happened to be a photo.

I laughed because Prompto couldn’t text me photos through his camera and had to resign himself to using his phone instead. And I chuckled again when I saw that it was a selfie in which he appeared posing with a beautiful smile. The rest of the boys were with him too, probably after he told them he would send me a photograph. Gladiolus was winking an eye, Noctis showing that small smirk that he posed with for photos so often, and Ignis waving softly with a small smile. It warmed my heart to see such a picture and I didn’t think twice to save it as my phone background.

I miss you all too!  I replied simply, not truly knowing how to further express myself.

Iggy asks if you’re doing okay =P  Prompto send yet another message.

Tell him not to worry, I’m alright

‘Kay, take care out there! =D And say hi to Cid and Cindy for us! ;)

Sure =)

I waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t. I assumed he also didn’t want to bother me and I appreciated that despite the fact that I partly wanted him to keep talking.

As I continued walking under the hot sun, trudging through the rocky and sandy ground of the desert area, he lingered on my mind. I distracted myself with the possible outcomes and scenarios of my interactions with him, balancing whether I should act one way or the other.

  It took me a long time to finally find the sabertusks, and by then I had decided a provisional solution for my problem with Prompto. I was too scared that acting on my infatuation resulted in the end of our friendship, and I didn’t want to lose him. So I resolved to staying friends with him for the time being, at least until I could be one hundred percent positive that he reciprocated my feelings.

It didn’t solve my problem, nor put the butterflies that awoke inside my stomach at the thought of him at rest. But at least it was the first step. For the moment, I focused in my other goal: becoming stronger.

I conjured my sword and kept my new handgun in mind in case I felt like I needed it. I took a deep breath as I prepared for the battle, letting my instinct guide me while I also concentrated on everything I knew about fighting.

The creatures –there were three of them –growled as they noticed me and moved quickly to approach and attack me. I started with a simple swing of my sword, which hit one of them and made it stand back. The adrenaline started building up inside of me, speeding my heart up and accelerating my movements and thoughts. I felt frantic, rushed and energetic.

I tried to remember what Gladiolus told me when he first started teaching me how to fight. The lessons he taught me as I began to wield my sword: stay alert, never lose focus, don’t attack mindlessly, sometimes the best attack is a good defense. Those were the main lessons as this happened so long ago that it was hard separating the theory from the practical part. And I was used to the latter, basing my attacks on muscular memory and instinct. They still played a big part, but I had realized lately that it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t attack mindlessly and hope for success.

Fearing that the other two sabertusks in the distance would catch up to me and attack me while I was busy with the closest one, I pulled out my new gun. It was the perfect weapon for long distance combat.

Here was where my new knowledge came in handy, where I was to recall all that Prompto taught me. I wielded my handgun with both hands, arms straight and legs slightly apart yet firmly planted on the ground. I held my breath as I fired the weapon, trying to flex my arms to lessen the impact of the recoil. It worked.

I smirked, thinking that a certain blond would be proud of me, when I realized it had been a precise shoot and it hit directly in its head, bringing the sabertusk down. I jumped back to avoid the claw that the closest creature swung at me and carelessly fired at it to buy myself some time while I took the other sabertusk down, the one far away from me, before it could reach me. Even though I was positive that my stance was correct, my aim was still lacking. It took me three attempts to hit the creature until it was dead, and by then the other one was already back on its feet.

I saved my gun as fast as I could and wielded my sword again instead, yet the sabertusk had tackled me to the ground and threatened to bite me. If it weren’t because my reflexes had saved me by using my arm as a shield, pushing it against the creature’s neck to establish a distance between its jaws and my face, it would have probably killed me in one blow. My training wasn’t as useless as I first thought, it gave me instinct and reflexes even if the problem probably was the lack of practice and strategy.

I pushed my feet against the sabertusk as hard as I could, which achieved to throw it back and give me some room to breathe. Even if it did scratch my arm as it tried to cling onto to me. I could have sworn its fangs also scratched my cheek as we struggled, because my skin burned in that very spot.

As it was further away now, I wished I hadn’t saved my pistol. However, I didn’t have the time to wield it again. Already carrying the sword in my hand, I prepared to defend myself with it instead, letting the sabertusk get closer to me and preparing to retaliate.

My breath hitched in my throat as it pounced at me, but I forced to send an order to my arms so they would stab it before it could get to me. They did, and the blade sunk into the sabertusk’s body before it could harm me.

They had been only three sabertusks, which weren’t too powerful. Yet those enemies offered quite the fight for me, leaving me lying on the ground breathing heavily and appreciating life much more. I couldn’t help but to wonder what my friends would think about it if they were there with me.

Forgetting about everything else and remembering I had successfully completed a bounty hunt on my own, I pushed myself to my feet. I had also realized the flaws in my technique, and once I worked on the strategy and practice, I would improve.

I had a few bruises here and there, and I was definitely drained and exhausted. However, I headed back to Hammerhead with a smile plastered on my face.

  I felt a great satisfaction when I received my reward, feeling for the first time like I absolutely earned it. Like the victory was all thanks to me since I had been the only one there. That time I didn’t have my friends with me yet I handled it on my own quite well.

“There ya are!” Cindy’s voice startled me, as I wasn’t expecting her to leave the garage and enter the diner.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her, noticing how she was frowning and seemed upset.

“Been lookin’ all over for ya!” The girl made a face and placed her hands on her hips in clear annoyance. “Where you been, gurl?”

“Hunting…” I was greatly surprised by her apparent concern. “I just got back”

“And you got hurt” Cindy sighed, taking my wrist and making me walk with her. “I’ll fix ya up in no time!”

We both headed to the garage, where she sweetly smiled at me encouragingly and sat me down in a small pile of boxes as she went to gather the first aid kit. I chuckled a little when I realized I was somehow like a car, since the grease-monkey girl would fix me like she did all those vehicles.

“Gotta tell me ‘fore you run off like that!” Her thick accent announced that she was already coming back. “If Paw-Paw found out I let one of the prince’s friend get hurt…”

“You are under no obligation of looking after me”

“I wanna! Gotta take care of a pal like ya”

I observed her, surprised yet delighted by her endearing kindness. Completely selfless and honest concern for my wellbeing.

Cindy tended to the cut in my cheek and the scratch in my arm, which were bleeding a little, and easily covered it with gentle yet determined hands. She was no expert like Ignis, but it did the trick.

“There ya go” She smiled when she was finished. “Lookin’ better”

“I will tell you before I leave the garage next time, Cindy” I mumbled, still shocked by her generosity. “I wouldn’t want you and Cid to worry”

“That’d be swell” She nodded, agreeing with my idea. “And don’t go runnin’ off now and doin’ anything dangerous”

“I won’t” I smiled back, promising myself I would be sensible about my hunts.

Once done, I stood up and awkwardly smiled at her before going back to the caravan. I was too dazed by such unexpected interaction to say anything else to her. So I just spent the rest of the day training and excitedly checking my phone for more messages, yet there came none from the busy boys.

  The third day I decided to take it easy. All the straining from the battle with the sabertusks had left me sore and tired, to the point that I was almost as drained as when I trained with Gladio.

I wouldn’t waste the day, however. I would train –both to improve my stamina and my combating skills –and try to figure myself out, as well as perhaps chat with Cindy. I never truly thanked her for being so caring and attentive towards me the other day, even if I knew it was partly due to the fact that I was Noctis’ friend. Yet it was a sweet gesture nonetheless.

I left the caravan and looked for her around the garage, even if Prompto was the one on my mind. I had dreamt with him again last night, definitely triggered by the adorable text that he sent me. And this dream shared similarities with the other dream regarding their adorable and intimate nature.

As I walked to the garage where they kept all the cars, I tried to mentally answer all the questions that piled up inside my mind concerning Prompto. I wondered if my brief and provisional decision of staying friends was the right one. I wondered whether I would regret it as soon as I saw him in person again, strongly craving his affection. I tried to imagine myself actually dating him, picture myself being embraced by his arms and kissed by his lips. A pleasant chill overcame me, as well as those well-known butterflies that were starting to feel familiar and welcoming, inviting almost. How could I reject all of that when I craved it so much? Yet again, how could I risk ruining the relationship we currently had and obtain nothing in return? Love was such a complicated subject!

“Hey, kid” Cid was sitting there, even if I didn’t notice as I passed him by until he announced his presence.

“Good morning” I greeted him, stopping to see if he wanted to say something.

“I see Cindy was right, you got hurt yesterday” His eyes fixed on my cheek, there where a band-aid covered my superficial wound. Self-conscious about it, I timidly covered my cheek with my hand.

“It is nothing of importance” I pursed my lips together as I held his stern glance.

“Better watch out, don’t do anything dangerous” The man stubbornly shook his index finger as he pointed at me with it. “And don’t be scared to ask for help either”

“I wouldn’t want to impose or bother you” I tilted my head at the thought of troubling them, especially considering we weren’t that close.

“Nonsense” He huffed, shaking his head. “That’s what friends are for”

“To annoy them?”

“Yeah, you’re not bothering if you ask a friend for help, it’s a friend’s duty”

Cid’s words caused my eyebrows to shot up in surprise and realization. He might not have realized it, but I found them to be extremely wise and true.

“You’re right”

“Course I’m right!”

“Have you seen Cindy?” I changed the subject, even if smiling widely.

“She’s in there” He pointed at the garage where I was headed to in the first place. “Go say hello”

“Thank you” I politely nodded my head before walking in that direction, immersing myself in the dark garage. “Cindy?”

“Here!” Came her response, just as I spotted her sticking her head over the hood of a car.

“I… never really thanked you for yesterday” I began to say, quite embarrassed about it. “It was very sweet of you to look after me like that”

She chuckled at my comment, firmly closing the hood of the car and cleaning her hands in a rag that hung nearby.

“No need to thank me!” She walked over to me, her heels clicking against the ground.

“Guess that’s what friends are for” I shrugged my shoulders, still smiling at her.

“Right! Was about to say just that”

“Still, I appreciate it”

“Didn’t need to come all the way here just to say that, gurl” Cindy smirked a little, sweetly.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You’re a curious lil cat, aren’t ya?”

“I just want your opinion” Seeing as she was the only girl I talked to other than Iris, and without having the boys around to hear us, I truly wanted to ask. It might seem irrational to be exposing such personal thoughts to someone I wasn’t so close to, yet that was precisely the point. Cindy wouldn’t exactly know the context and had no compromise in answering, yet her responses would prove to be useful.

“Shoot then”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“Can’t say I have” Cindy tapped her finger against her bottom lip, thoughtful. “Maybe in love with my work”

“Right…”

“They do say love is the most wonderful thing, so I wouldn’t let it go if I found it”

That left me astounded because of how important and true that statement was. Yet it didn’t assure that Prompto reciprocated my feelings, in which case I would embrace my love for him. But it wasn’t that easy, was it?

“I will try to keep that in mind” I said as I waved goodbye at her and left the garage. “I will be back in a while, don’t worry too much”

I started to walk into the distance, looking for some shade so I could train, perhaps under a big tree. My phone rang as I walked, so I nimbly pulled it out and hoped it was a text from who I thought it would be. I was right.

Mornin’, buddy! Hope I didn’t wake you up! Here’s a smiling me so hopefully I pass it on to you and then it’ll be a smiling you! =DDDD

Right under that completely adorable text he sent a picture of himself, alone, posing with an adorable and broad grin. How I missed that boy.

I rolled my eyes, silently scolding myself for becoming so stupidly happy over something like that. I opened the camera in my phone and took a selfie –something I never thought I would end up doing as I found it so silly, but it was for Prompto and so I resigned myself just to make him happy –posing with a big smile and making a peace sign with my fingers.

I took a good look at the photo in my screen before sending it. I was squinting my eyes because of the sun, but other than that I didn’t look too awful. I just hit sent before I could change my mind and wrote a small text after it.

Here’s a clumsy attempt at a selfie, hope to make you proud!

I observed the dots in the screen restlessly, waiting until he was done typing. His response came soon afterwards.

Hahahah that’s awesome! You look great, Alex!

I pursed my lips not to grin widely as I pictured Prompto excitedly and proudly showing my selfie to Noct, Iggy and Gladio. If I knew him as well as I thought I did, he would definitely be doing that at the moment.

I decided to say something else, wanting to keep the conversation going before I immersed myself in some arduous training.

Thanks! I hope you’re all doing okay =)

The dots appeared again as Prompto typed, and I was surprised by how quickly he finished and sent the text back.

Been a couple of hectic days, but we’re a-okay! Hbu?

‘Hbu’?

Sorry! How about you? =P

Oh, Prompto, such a lovable nerd. I bit my lip when I realized he was doing it again, without even being there. He was bringing out a much more relaxed and casual side of me, one that mirrored him and I was starting to enjoy and embrace.

I’m alright, hopefully I’ll be able to get back to you all very soon

Can’t wait! Are you still in Hammerhead? How are Cid and Cindy treating ya?

They’re lovely! They take good care of me (make sure to tell Ignis, so he doesn’t worry)

Will do! So… did Cindy say anything about me?

I froze for a moment, wondering whether I should tell him we spoke about him or not. Testing my friendship approach, I decided to admit it and analyze his reaction. I hesitated for a moment as my thumbs hovered over the keys, but I soon made up my mind and started typing. It made me wonder if seeing those dots was making Prompto anxious.

She did! Cindy said you’re cute and very nice =D

I awaited his response, wishing I was there to see his actual expression and reaction. He must have been excited by the revelation, because he made a few typos next.

OMG, forreal?! Wow! I wouf.nt have expected to hearthat!

I smiled sadly, slightly disappointed by his excitement about it. But for the moment I was his friend, and I was happy for him.

I know! Was all I came up with as a response, quite plain and snippy.

Oh! Iggy is asking me to tell you this: ‘please reach us some time, merely to update on your current status’ are his exact words. The man’s worried, Alex! XD

I smiled in spite of myself, charmed even by his goofy banter.

I promise I will call soon, for now I have to go train.

K! Ttyl! I deciphered those abbreviations and realized he meant to say ‘okay, I will talk to you later’. It made me smile again.

Have a nice day, and please be careful!

You too, take care!

With a permanent smile on my face and the feeling that my day was made, I saved my phone on my pocket and proceeded to do some target training and some sword wielding. I needed to keep in shape.

  The fourth day I was starting to find the sudden routine a bit tedious. After being exposed to a new adventure every day for so long, I found myself missing it.

After that day, everything started mixing together as I did the same thing every day. I woke up in the same place, wandered around Hammerhead, chatted with Cindy and went to the diner for some food and hunts. Then I completed said hunts, I trained –at least focusing in different types of training to have some variety –and went to sleep, just to get back to the start again the next day.

Luckily, my fighting skills had greatly improved and I was quite proud of that achievement. Unfortunately, I couldn’t quite make my mind up about Prompto.

He hadn’t texted me for almost two days, and while I imagined they were busy, I truly missed his daily texts as well as his selfies with the others. I found that they made my day and I was left slightly sad and incomplete without them.

I was positive that what I felt for him was love, an intense and strong emotion. And that I wanted to be beside him, no matter how. Perhaps merely as friends if things didn’t work out between us, I would have to look into it to discover whether he liked me back or not and when I did I would act on it. Yes, that sounded like a smart plan. For the time being, I had started to get used to the butterflies and chills that evoking him caused me and they didn’t alarm me as much. Yet it was still to be seen how these effects would evolve once he was next to me again. If the mere thought of his existence while being apart from him caused chaos inside of me, those would only multiply in his presence. Even if I had tried to control them or calm my giddiness these days.

  One day I was at the diner, looking for a challenging hunt that would prove worthy of my time, that would make me stronger and defy my skills. Just then, my phone rang with an incoming call. I smiled when I saw Prompto’s name on screen as well as the photo I had established as his contact picture, the one that he sent me of him smiling.

“Hello?” I replied, eager to hear his lovely and upbeat voice.

“Alex!” His cheerful tone replied. “Can you talk? Is this a good time?”

“Absolutely! I’m not doing anything at the moment!”

“Cool, heh” How I had missed that small chuckle as well. “We all wanted to talk to you, check on ya”

“I’m doing okay” I started to narrate, delighted to be talking to him.

“Aha” He uttered to let me know he intently listened.

“I’ve been working hard these days and I honestly feel achieved and-“

“Hey!” Prompto complained of a sudden, his voice becoming distant as though he was separating himself from the phone. “Noct!”

“Alex, what’s up?” There came Noctis’ voice, who I supposed had snatched the phone away from Prompto’s hands. “You’re taking your time out there”

“A work well done needs time” I laughed a bit, realizing how much I yearned for his playfulness as well, for our friendly teasing.

“Really? What are you doing anyway?”

“Training, mostly”

“Way to be boring…” Noctis sighed for a moment, pausing, before speaking up again. “Wait, Specs wants to talk to you”

I heard the phone being moved around, as well as Prompto’s complaints in the background while he asked for his phone back to talk to me. I giggled picturing the scene of the four of them travelling in the car fighting to take Prompto’s phone.

“Alexandria” Hearing Ignis’ calm voice brought me an unexpected comfort that I didn’t know I needed. “Is everything alright? Are you making some progress in your endeavor?”

“Quite so” I grinned proudly, even if he couldn’t see me. “I intend to reunite with you guys soon”

“I’m glad to hear that, we’ve been missing your presence”

“Is that so?”

“Certainly, we’re lacking that elegant feminine presence on our side”

“I see” I chuckled, amused by his usual charming personality.

“Hang on, Gladio would like to speak to you as well”

“Okay” As he passed the phone yet again, I felt extremely important and tiny at the same time, like a child that’s left the nest and has their family checking on them.

“Hey, Alex” Came Gladiolus’ deep voice. “Gotta ask you something”

“What is it?”

“You didn’t leave because of me, right?”

“What… do you mean, Gladiol… Gladio?”

“Iggy told me that you felt helpless after our fight with Titan, and I remember the things I said to you that day”

“Gladio…” I tried to interrupt him before he could dwell on that. It was nearly a week ago, I had forgotten about it. I wasn’t bitter about that anymore, I had become stronger and more capable. And although with a slightly aggressive and harsh approach, Gladiolus had spoken but the truth.

“I’m sorry, kid, I never meant to belittle you”

“It’s okay, no harm done”

“You sure?”

“Positive”

He didn’t speak at first, forcing an uncomfortable silence on the line. Until he eventually piped up again.

“Don’t go doing something stupid now, you hear?”

“Of course not”

“I’m putting you on speaker now” Gladio said after a short pause. “So we can all hear you”

“Hello, boys” I said to them all, smiling fondly. “I should meet you again soon, I can’t wait to see you”

“Us too!” Prompto exclaimed quickly, before they could all talk over each other.

“See you soon!” Noct said too.

“Please be prudent, Alexandria”

“Yeah, take care, kid!”

“You too!” I realized then they were my family, they had become like siblings and I loved them as such. I was hit with a wave of affection toward them four. “I… I love you guys!”

“Aw!” All of them chorused in response, varying in tones and volume. Feeling mortified by such a cheesy line, I grimaced to myself and shook my head.

“I have to go, bye!” I hurried to hung up and forget I ever said that. Not that I didn’t meant it, but it was the first time I ever announced my affections so openly to anyone. It felt embarrassing and almost uncomfortable.

In an attempt to get my mind off such occurrence, I kept looking at the hunt posters. And I soon found one that caught my eye.

Behemoth. It was risky, yet the reward was abundant and it would be the perfect challenge to exhibit how ultimately strong I had become. The last test before I could rejoin the party.

After all those hunts, despite having gone after all kind of creatures and having earned a humble hunter fame, I wasn’t completely satisfied. Even after acquiring a decent skill level both with my sword and my gun and improving my stamina and strength. Hopefully, the Behemoth hunt would give me that feeling of satisfaction I was seeking.

I merely warned Cindy about my leaving for a hunt, like I did every time, and prepared for the definite battle.

  What was I thinking? I must have been out of my mind to think facing a Behemoth alone was a good idea! Even after taking the precaution of replenishing my curatives and ammunition.

I had lost track of time, wondering how long I had been fighting for. Or walking ever since the behemoth was finally defeated. It felt like hours and hours on end, but I had no way to confirm that my perception was correct. Only by the low height of the sun I could tell that at least three hours had passed.

My body shook with the effort, adrenaline and tiredness. My muscles screamed in pain because of the immense strain I had put them through. I knew I was bruised and injured, yet my body felt so numb and sensitive at the same time that I couldn’t tell where. I was also too frantic and agitated, far too much to remember where the behemoth had reached me when it attacked back.

My phone had started ringing at some point during the battle, and I was just hearing it now that the behemoth was defeated. I felt too exhausted to even pick it up.

I had been forcing myself to keep on walking, to put one foot in front of the other on my way back to Hammerhead, there where I would be safe again. I was solely moved by the paranoia that some other monster could attack me if I rested.

However, I plopped down on the ground, worn out and drained from all vitality, after several minutes of exhausting walking. Even if I did with such force that I wondered whether I had fallen or not.

I waited to give my weary body a rest, but the sound of my accelerated breathing and the pulsations of my heart against my skull were making me squeamish. I wondered if there was something wrong with me when I tried to stand up and found I couldn’t.

I closed my eyes and leaned my back against a big boulder that happened to be behind me as I focused on slowing down my quick breathing. It didn’t work.

My phone kept ringing, and the constant noise was starting to irritate me. But I didn’t have the strength to get it out of my pocket and answer the call even if I wanted to. Neither did I want to talk with anyone, honestly. I merely let it ring, not bothering to end the call to silence the noise either.

I frantically turned around, however, when I heard footsteps. Perhaps the sound of my phone had attracted someone’s curiosity. If they were to attack me, I wouldn’t be able to defend myself.

“Found her!!” Prompto’s voice was very loud and urgent.

Wait…

Wait, Prompto? What was he doing there? Did Cindy have anything to do with this? Did I take too long to come back and she had worried? Perhaps called them?

My exhausted brain didn’t give it too much thought, I was just content with having someone to get me to safety. To a comfortable place, hopefully a bed where I could rest and sleep.

I didn’t really know why, but Prompto’s hollering annoyed me. It felt like my whole body was sensitive and alert, probably due to the adrenaline produced during the fight.

Noctis was the first one to appear by my side, making great use of his warping powers. He placed a hand on my shoulder and examined me carefully.

“You okay?” He asked, his pale blue eyes piercing me in concern. I nodded, too exhausted to speak up. Truth was, I didn’t feel so good. It was probably just the tiredness catching up to my body after the danger was gone, but I felt numb. I felt feverish and light-headed, I felt weak and faint.

“Let’s go with Gladio and Ignis” The two of them grunted as they pulled me to my feet and supported my weight. Prompto’s eyes didn’t leave me as the three of us began walking.

We could see the other two running our direction, quickly separating the distance between us.

I felt the blond’s hand in my back as we moved, almost making sure I stood on my feet. Perhaps I was wobbling and not aware of it.

“Alexandria!” Like a protective father, Ignis took me by the shoulders and looked me up and down. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?!”

“I’m fine” My voice gave me away, it sounded hoarse and raspy. An unpleasant sound. “Just tired”

I noticed the glances the four of them exchanged. Or should I say the three of them, since Ignis’ green eyes were focused on me still.

“Did you actually face a behemoth?” Ignis uttered in shock.

“Dude, you fought a freaking behemoth?!” Prompto exclaimed in my ear. I grimaced and shrunk into Noctis’ body to get away from his loudness.

“I never thought you could be so reckless!” Just with that first sentence Ignis uttered, disappointed and gravely, I could tell yet another lecture was coming my way. I hung my head low, too tired to talk back or to even pay attention. “You should be clever enough to know your limitations, to be aware of your skills and not act foolishly. You shouldn’t have gone alone!”

Because I was weak, because I was not strong enough, right? Because I wouldn’t be able to protect myself without their backup and hold my own. That was exactly why I did it, because I wanted to change it. And I did! I defeated the behemoth on my own!

“Iggy, ease up” Noctis intervened to my surprise, trying to calm him down.

Our friend was definitely worried, even if he wasn’t yelling or losing his temper. But there was a hint of nervousness in his calm speech. He became silent, but didn’t let go of my shoulders at first. Until he sighed and cautiously let go of me, taking a step back. The sudden silence unsettled me, only more when I grew aware of the sound of my own loud heartbeat resounding in my ears. Of my ragged breaths that I wasn’t aware of.

“That was a pretty stupid thing to do, Alex” Gladio told me, in what I thought was an attempt to keep Ignis at ease. It worked.

“She’s fine” Noctis spoke up again, motioning with his arm. “Let’s go back”

I glanced at Prompto, noticing how quiet he had been. His thin brows were furrowed but his expression relaxed when he locked eyes with me and noticed I was staring. Then he forced out a tiny smile that couldn’t compete with his usual genuine ones.

His hand lingered on my back as we continued our way. I suddenly wished he was holding an arm around me instead, because my legs buckled under my own weight. I gasped when my vision blurred and I was suddenly drained from all my remaining energies, so much so that I couldn’t stand. My hands flew to the side of my stomach as an intense pang of pain arrived to that area, making me cry out.

“Guys!” Prompto shouted in my ear, scared, as he held me up clumsily. Luckily, his lean arms were fast enough to stop me from falling when I was unable to hold my stance anymore. His intention was to use his torso as my support point, but the inertia was causing me to slowly fall to the floor anyway.

Prompto resolved to sit down in the floor with me, letting me lean on him. At least my head on his shoulder helped a little when everything started spinning around me, even if the thump of his heart against my ear and his quick breaths upset me.

“You’re bleeding!” Noctis exclaimed in horror.

I looked down to my hands to confirm that, indeed, they were covered in crimson blood. The sight made me queasy, so I closed my eyes tight. I hadn’t even realized I had such a deep wound.

“Noct, bring the car!” Ignis instructed hurriedly. I immediately heard the sound of my friend warping away as he obliged.

“We need to get her somewhere safe” Without thinking twice, Gladio tore me away from a very shocked Prompto and carried me in his arms instead. His big and muscular arms made me feel safe and comfortable, the touch of a friend.

The four of us moved in the direction where Noctis would bring the car so we’d met halfway there. I wondered if I could stay awake until that happened, because a sudden drowsiness was taking over me.

“Eyes open, Alex” It had been a long time since I heard Ignis’ voice so gentle and tender, like he was talking to a child. He didn’t call me Alex often either.

I smiled a little at the memory of being looked after by him when I was younger, when he used that exact tone with me. And paternally stroke my hair and give me gentle smiles.

It all probably had to do with the fact that I was a bit delirious.

“Did you fight the freaking thing alone?” Gladio demanded to know, outraged.

“I thought you had retreated!”

“I didn’t” I whispered, too weak to speak louder. “I confronted it”

“Why would you do that?!” Prompto shouted, panicking.

“To make myself stronger”

“But you’re hurt!”

“But I killed it” I grinned stupidly, closing my eyes in exhaustion. “That makes me stronger, right?”

“R-Right…” His voice softened a tad, just to be replaced with a strange sadness.

“She’s losing a lot of blood…” Ignis uttered, probably to the others. But I heard him. “Stay awake, darling!”

I wanted to oblige, but I just couldn’t. I felt myself drifting into a deep slumber that I had no way of escaping from.

Someone’s hand held my own, but I did not know whether it was Prompto’s or Ignis’. Judging by how badly they shook, I thought it was Prompto’s. I didn’t mind, his touch brought me great comfort, and I embraced that thought as I gave in to the exhaustion.

Tagging list: @prince-of-wind, @toranyx, @ghadah1421