#sometimes i get sad that i‘m being left out a little from meet-ups because i can’t spontaneously come around bc i have to take a bus

[kameyyy]

why are my friends such haters

[softjaehyvn]

memories of him, last winter | j.jh

— slight angst & fluff

∞

last winter was the last time he was yours.

you would always go and spend your winter break together in a cabin, somewhere up in the mountains and would turn your phones off and lock them away, so you could relax from all the stress. you would watch movies, eat dinner together, give each other christmas presents and have the time of your life. they were always great memories — always full of showing each other how much you loved each other after you couldn‘t do that when both of you were busy with your working lives.

jung yoonoh was the love of your life. he still is the love of your life. after a long, content relationship, everything slowly started going downhill. starting with that he couldn‘t take those two weeks off last winter to go to your yearly trip to the cabin. he was so busy, that he simply wasn‘t able to take a break. so, you went there all by yourself. you felt so lonely there, everything you saw there reminded you of him.

sometimes you simply missed him.

those two weeks were the cause of a lot of your fights and uncomfortable moments with him. you were constantly complaining about things he did, just the way he would complain about everything you did that wasn‘t

after your break-up with him, you had moved out of his place and moved to your friend for a while until you had found your own place.

slowly, you had gotten used to the fact that he was gone now. yet, you felt lonely all by yourself at home. you missed him, you missed the way he would just hug you from behind when you‘d be cooking something and he had been able to come home earlier than planned. you missed the way his lips on your skin would feel when he‘d just press a light kiss on your jaw.

you didn‘t know if it was the alcohol in your system that made you call him or if it was just your heart still wanting to be with him.

“helloooo“, you babbled into the microphone of your phone. “i missed you.“ you added and waited patiently for him to reply. he didn‘t for a few seconds though.

“what do you want?“

the coldness in his voice made your skin shiver and you looked at your phone to make sure that it was yoonoh you called. when you saw his name on the screen, you were surprised at the way he talked to you. what was going on that his voice was so cold and without any kind of emotion?

“i missed you, yoonoh“, you repeated, this time your voice was a lot more clearer than before. “even if i first drunk called you, i miss you. can we maybe… meet up and talk?“

there was nothing. when you once again checked your phone, you saw that the call ended. you weren‘t sure whether he hung up himself or if there was a problem with the connection. you didn‘t check again either and also didn‘t call him again. the way his voice sounded so cold and like he simply didn‘t care about anything related to you, made you sip a little water so you could sober up a little. when you finally had a slightly clearer mind, you checked your phone again. you then saw a message there:

“sorry, the connection broke off, i‘ll call you later when i‘m back home.“

he never called back.

—

you did expect him to call back, though. it slightly made you sad that he didn‘t care about you as much as you still did about him. at least that was how you thought he was feeling about you.

because you didn‘t know that he was holding his phone in his hand so many times, yet not calling you ever back.

yoonoh was in his office and was waiting for you to maybe call so he could excuse himself with his workload. he felt dumb for being weak like this — it wasn‘t a secret that he was still missing you, everyone around him knew about his feelings for you. the breakup a few months ago was still something he regret deeply and he would never really stop thinking about that very moment you left him for good.

he wanted to call you, yet didn‘t have the courage to do so because he wasn‘t sure how you would take it.

you slowly had gotten tired of waiting for him, which is why you decided to call him one more time. you needed to hear his voice for some reason, you didn‘t really know what was going on with you in that moment. you just had to.

“hello?“

a light smile appeared on your lips when you heard his soft, yet deep voice over your phone‘s speaker.

“i missed you“, you blurted out, not even caring about anything anymore. you just needed to see him, at least talk everything out. even if you wouldn‘t manage to solve your problems, you just wanted to see him and talk out everything you couldn‘t a few months ago. maybe it would lead to you two managing to solve your problems slowly.

when you broke up with yoonoh, you didn‘t talk. you simply didn‘t try to communicate or try to understand the other one. you constantly had yelled at each other, didn‘t try to hear each other out.

you regret so many things you had told him back then.

“i missed you, too. i‘m sorry for treating you so badly back when we broke up. can we maybe try to talk this out?“, he asked you. “i‘d love to see you again.“

you smiled a little at his shaky voice and then finally replied with a soft ‘yes. let‘s meet up’ before you finally set up a time and a place to meet.

maybe this time you would manage to speak about both your feelings and this time without the screaming and yelling at each other. you were happy that he offered himself to meet up and talk. there were so many things you were happy about in that moment.

maybe this time, you wouldn‘t have to get lost in the memories of him from last winter. maybe this time, you would be able to go and do all the things you used to do once again with him.

—

main taglist | @n8dlesoupguk @wownajaemin @loviehyuck @winniet

[seungmoroll]

Heather | Lee Felix

Word count: 5.3k

Genre: fluff, realization of feelings, friends to lovers, baker Felix, slight angst(?)

A/N: the next part of the Heather series is finally up! you can read the other parts here.

    As you open the door, the sweet smell of pastries fills up your nose. Every time this place reminds you of the precious moments of when you were a child watching your grandmother bake some sweets that you would then have to hide from your mother. Inside, beautiful freshly made sweets are on display for others to enjoy, and as you walk around, making your way to pick out the treats that you needed, you can’t help but be in awe with the craftsmanship that was put into every single dessert. You have to remember to compliment the baker. Speaking of the baker, once you’ve made your way to the front displays by the cash register, his warm smile greets you.

    “Good morning Y/n, beautiful day isn’t it?” Just like his freshly baked goods and the bright sun, his voice brings you a sense of warmth.

    “Morning Felix. It’s a wonderful day today. I’m sure the kids are going to love being outside.” The kids that you mentioned were the kids that you took care of at the daycare you worked at. It wasn’t a big daycare or anything. At most there were 8 kids, but you enjoyed that there wasn’t a lot of kids because you really got to know them. Plus, you don’t think you and your coworker Jeongin could handle any more kids.

    “Oh I bet they will. Wait, that reminds me, let me grab something from the back.” He leaves, leaving you wondering what he could possibly be getting. When he returns, he comes out holding a box and places it on the display counter.

    “Here, this is for you to take.” It was common for Felix to make special treats for the kids. At first you tried to refuse his offers, but he came up with excuses such as saying that he owed Jeongin or that they were just extra. You didn’t believe those excuses though, but it was kind of hard to say no to Felix. Besides, it’s not like the kids were opposed to the treats.

    “Ah, thank you Felix. I’m sure the kids will love it. What’s in here?”

    “Actually, it’s for you. It’s a cheesecake that I made.”

    “Oh? I can’t take this for free, let me pay for this.” You know Felix put all his hard work into everything that he made, and you refused to not pay for it.

    Shaking his head, “No, no. I made it specifically for you, so I’m refusing to take your money, and don’t you dare slip in some extra cash to Nakyung at the cash register.” Dang it, he knew exactly you were planning on doing.

    “Fine, but I have to pay you back somehow.”

    “Another drawing from one of the kids is good enough for me.” Sometimes the kids liked to draw the treats that Felix gave them, and so on day you brought the drawing in to let Felix see and according to Nakyung, he puts them up on the wall in the kitchen.

    “I’ll make sure that they’ll get delivered to you safely the next time I visit.” Felix smiles at your response, but your conversation is interrupted when another customer comes up and asks for help. After realizing that you were going to be late if you stayed here any longer, you head towards the cash register, where Nakyung stood there waiting for you.

    “Hi Y/n, will this be all for you?” She kindly greeted you. You actually knew Nakyung from high school. The two of you weren’t necessarily friends back then, being that you were a part of two different circles, but she was a kind person to everyone.

    “Yes, this is it for me.” Today you grabbed two blueberry muffins and a brownie (Jeongin’s favorite thing at the bakery).  

    “I see that Felix has given you another dessert. Is it for the kids?”

    “No, uh, it’s actually for me, but of course I’m going to share some with the kids.”

    “Oh, I see. I think it’s sweet that he makes you something special.” You could tell from the tone of her voice that there was something that was slightly off, but you didn’t have time to question it because you had to make your way to the daycare. However, you had a feeling you knew what the reason for her tone to be like that. You might have to talk to her about it later though.

    Grabbing your newly bought goods, you make your way towards the exit, but not before you bid Nakyung and Felix a goodbye, “Bye guys, hope you have a good day!”

    When you finally arrive at the daycare, you are met with the sound of gentle music playing and the sight of Jeongin swaying along to the music as he tidies up the play area. Not wanting to interrupt his flow, you lean against the doorway, waiting for him notice your presence. When he finally turns around, he slightly jumps at the sight of you. You chuckle in amusement. Clutching his chest, he asks you, “How long have you been there?”

    Walking up to him, and presenting him his brownie, you say, “Oh not that long, I just wanted to enjoy my view. Here’s your brownie by the way.” Jeongin gladly takes the brownie in your hand and questions the box in your hand.

    “Oh, this? Felix made me a cheesecake.” You miss the way Jeongin cocks his eyebrow at you as you make your way to your office to put your things up. Following you, Jeongin jokingly asks, “Did he now?” You could tell by the tone of Jeongin’s voice that he was trying to instigate something,

    “Whatever ever you’re thinking of, just stop it right now.”

    Feigning innocence, he says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You knew he knew exactly what you were talking about. For some reason, Jeongin thinks that Felix has a crush on you, and you find the idea ridiculous because everyone who goes to the bakery knows the Felix likes Nakyung.

    Shoving your free cheesecake into the mini fridge, “I still don’t get why you think Felix likes me.” When you turn back around, you see Jeongin pointing at the fridge, “Because he gives you things like cheesecake and other sweets for free because he specifically makes them only for you.” Rolling your eyes at his explanation, you push past him and go back towards the front of the daycare to wait for the arrival of the children.

    “He knows I share them with the kids, so he just says that he makes it for me to hide the real fact that it’s for the kids.” From where the two of you stand by the front entrance, you can see the first child making their way to the daycare with their father. Ending the conversation for now, Jeongin says, “Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.”

    Later on in the week, you knew you were forgetting something when you left your house this morning. Mentally reprimanding yourself for forgetting your umbrella, you do your best to quickly make your way home. Usually you never stay at the day care so late, but Daisy, a sweet little seven-year-old girl, wasn’t able to be picked up until 6 today because her mother had an important meeting, and of course you and Jeongin didn’t mind staying back. After Daisy was picked up by her mom, you and Jeongin had to put up new decorations for the daycare which took you guys about an hour and a half. Once you were both done decorating, you had deemed yourself too tired to cook yourself dinner that night, so you had gone out and got yourself some Korean chicken. Unfortunately for you, the wait time took forever and by the time you left the restaurant it was already pouring.

    In situations like this, this is why your parents told you to take your car to work, but you didn’t mind the 15-minute walk, except currently you did mind. You thought to yourself that you might’ve looked a bit crazy running in the pouring rain, soaked from head to toe, but at this point, you didn’t care about how you looked, you just wanted to get home. Just as you were about to pass the very familiar bakery, an also very familiar figure comes out the door causing for you to come to an abrupt halt.

    “Y/n? Is that you?” It was Felix. He must’ve been getting ready to close the bakery since it was already almost 9. Quickly dodging the rain by going under the awning, you greet Felix.

    “Oh, hey Felix.” You try your best to act casual, but it’s a bit for you to do since your quivering from the cold.

    “Gosh, you’re drenched. Here come on inside.” Before you could object, Felix is ushering you inside the bakery and you let out a relieved sigh as you feel some sort of warmth. As soon as Felix had walked back in, he immediately went towards the back of the bakery, leaving you to awkwardly stand in the middle of the bakery. A small puddle of water has begun to form on the floor because of you. When Felix returns to the front, he is carrying a towel and what you believe is extra clothing. Silently, he wraps the towel around you and hands you another one for you to use to wipe your face.

    As you pat your face dry, Felix offers the extra clothes to you, “Here go change into these.” Not wanting to be more of a nuisance to him, you kindly reject his offer, “Thank you, but I‘m fine.”

    “Y/n,” he sternly says, “your clothes are soaking wet, if you don’t change out of them soon, you’re going to catch a cold.”

    “No seriously Felix, it’s fine. You know my house is only 7 minutes from here. I can survive 7 more minutes in these clothes and in the rain.”

    “Are you crazy? You can’t go back in the rain.” He motions out the window, and you can see that the rain has started to come down harder. You pause and take a moment to think about your current situation: on one hand, you could run all the way back home and take a nice warm shower, but on the other hand, you’re enjoying the warmth of the bakery too much and you really don’t want to go back in the rain. However, the look that Felix is giving you right now makes you feel like the first option is not a viable one for you. Reluctantly, you take the clothes that Felix is offering to you and make your way towards the restroom to go change. Once you’ve finished getting change, you look at yourself in the mirror. Your hair was a complete sad mess, but you have to say that the clothes Felix gave you makes you look somewhat decent. Looking down at the design displayed on your chest, you realize that you were wearing the t-shirt that all the workers at the bakery wore.

    Exiting the restroom, you see Felix mopping the floor, “Sorry about that by the way.”

    Finishing up, he says to you, “It’s no problem really, now the floor is extra clean.” That was something you liked about Felix, he always made it seem like you or any other person was never a bother.

    Looking outside the window, you see that the rain hasn’t let up, “Wow, it’s really raining hard.”

    “Yeah, looks like you may be here a while.” Accepting your fate, you pull down a chair that was stacked on one of the tables and set it down, grabbing the bag that you had with you and opening it up. The aroma of Korean chicken fills your nostrils, and you make a gesture to the spot in front of you to Felix, who kindly accepts.

    “Nice dinner you got there.”

    Pointing towards the box, “Would you like some?”

    “I would love some.” He happily grabs a wing and starts munching on it.

    For the next few minutes, the two of you silently enjoy your food.

    “Y’know,” Felix starts, “I think this is the first time me and you have hung out by ourselves.” Taking a moment to think, you realize that he’s right. Usually Nakyung or Jeongin would be with you guys, but due to circumstances they’re not.

    “It’s not weird is it?”

    Quickly shaking his head, he says, “No, no, not at all. I actually quite like this. I feel like I can get to know you better now.” It’s not like you and Felix didn’t know anything about each other. You had come to the bakery so often, so of course you’d get to know one another. Using this as your chance to get to know each other better, you ask Felix, “Is there anything you want to ask me?”

    Taking a second to think, he asks you, “Why’d you start working at the daycare?” You go on to explain to him that you always wanted to work with children, but being an actual teacher was too much for you. So when you saw online that there was an open position at the daycare, you went to visit for an interview, and basically fell in love with all the children who were there. And now here you were, a year later, still loving your job. “Okay, my turn. How’d you get into baking?”

    “It was just a hobby; something to do in my free time, and at first, I was horrible at it. The first thing I ever baked were a batch of brownies, and they ended up being rock solid. Instead of stopping because I failed, I attempted to make them again until I made the best brownies. Everyone fell in love with them, just like Jeongin, and then I started branching out into other desserts and pastries. Now I’m here, living my best life where I get to bake whatever I want, and see people enjoy my creations.” You could tell that Felix really enjoyed being a baker with the way he joyful answered your question.

    The night continued on like this, with each of you throwing questions back and forth getting to know one another, the rain seeming like it would never lighten. Eventually the questions stop, but instead the pair of you told stories about your pasts.

    “You know, back in high school, Nakyung was so popular.” You had no idea what prompted you to bring this up to Felix, but you couldn’t stop yourself from continuing.

    “That’s not surprising.” Felix responds.

    “Yeah, she was so popular that every girl wanted to be her, and every guy wanted to be with her, including every single one of my crushes.” That last part slipped out on accident, but now that it’s been said, you couldn’t take it back.

    “Oh.”

    Quickly, to not ruin the mood, you say, “It’s not like I hated her for that or anything. I couldn’t possibly hate her for something like that. I’m not that petty, but I’m sure it was nice to have so many guys falling for you.”

    In attempt to make you feel better, Felix says, “I’m sure there were plenty of people that liked you too. They were probably just too shy to say or do anything.” Felix’s comment makes you laugh, “Please, no one liked me the way they did Nakyung.”

    “If it makes you feel any better, I can say that I do.” You don’t understand what Felix means by that, so you tilt your head in confusion.

    “What do you mean?”

    Watching Felix take a deep breath, he confesses, “I like you Y/n.” It takes you a moment to process what Felix has said to you. This didn’t seem very real to you at all. You’ve never had someone confess to you. You were just so used to everyone liking all the prettier girls like Nakyung. It almost seemed hysterical to you.

    “No you don’t.” You’re quick to turn down Felix’s confession.

    “I-what?”

    “You don’t like me Felix, you say firmly.

    The look on Felix’s face shows you that he’s not understanding what’s currently happening. “Why are you saying that?”

    “Because you have liked Nakyung for so long, and she likes you back. I just happened to pique your interest for the moment because you may have gotten tired from your regular routine, but when it comes down to it Lix, Nakyung is the one for you.” Every word that you said was how you truly felt about things.

    “Maybe that was true in the beginning when you first started to visit the bakery because I was interested in finding out what type of person you were, but then something shifted when you became a regular and we truly started to get to know each other.” Felix’s confession is too much for you. When you thought of Felix, you thought of Nakyung. In your mind they were a package; you couldn’t have one without the other. And you didn’t want to be the person that got in the middle of something perfect and ruin it.

    “I’m sorry Felix,” you gently say. You felt bad for rejecting him, but you didn’t reciprocate his feelings, nor did you truly think that he had actual feeling for you. Quickly getting up, you thank him for his kindness and rush out the bakery door, not caring that it was still pouring outside.

    “Wait! Y/n!” Felix calls after you, however, you don’t bother to turn around, ignoring his calls.

    It had been a couple of weeks since you rejected Felix, and you were currently on your way to the market to pick up some groceries, when you heard a voice calling out your name, “Y/n!” Looking around to see who it was, you see Nakyung approaching you. “Hey Nakyung.”

    “Hey you, I haven’t seen you at the bakery in a while.” You thought it was best to avoid the bakery ever since you rejected Felix’s confession.

    “Oh, yeah, I’ve just been busy recently that I couldn’t stop by.” Which was totally false, you just weren’t that close to Nakyung to tell her the true reason why.

    “Are you busy? We can go get a drink at the bakery.” The bakery was the last place you wanted to be right now.

    “Actually, why don’t we go to Starbucks? I needed to get a gift card anyways.” No you didn’t, but it seemed like a good excuse.

    “That works for me.”

    Once the two of you arrived at Starbucks and ordered your drinks, plus the gift card that you were just going to use on yourself, you had sat down at a table in the corner.

    “So how have you been recently?” You ask Nakyung to startup a conversation.

    “Oh me? I’ve been doing good, and you? How have you been doing?”

    “I’m doing good as well.”

    “Quit the crap Y/n, there’s something going on in that little head of yours.” You weren’t sure if Nakyung was just good at reading people or if she knew about you and Felix.

    “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She gives you a look, that means that she doesn’t believe what you’re saying, “Okay, fine. I’ve been…distracted by something.”

    “And does this something have to do with a light-haired baker?” Now you were definitely sure that she knew. Felix probably told her everything. Maybe he didn’t have to tell her anything and she just could tell that something was off with him.

    Hesitantly, you ask her, “Okay, what do you know?”

    “I don’t know a lot, but I do know that Felix likes you and that you rejected him. So why? Why’d you reject him?” So she did know about Felix’s supposed feelings for you. Instead of replying to her questions, you say, “I’m sorry.” Not expecting that to be your response, Nakyung is a little taken back, but relaxes within a second.

    “Please don’t do that. Don’t apologize for something that you couldn’t have prevented.” Nakyung was handling this situation better than you would have. You know you would have either been yelling or crying to both you and Felix.

    “You know, I kind of figured he…that what we had was disappearing when his smile started becoming wider whenever he saw you. Then I really confirmed it when he started giving you special baked goods because that’s what he used to do for me.” By the end of her sentence, her tone became very somber and you just wanted to reach across the table and hug her.

    In attempt to make her feel better, you say, “I’m sure that what Felix is feeling for me right now will pass. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and no one can look at a person like that and say that they don’t like you.” Nakyung takes a moment to collect her thoughts before saying to you,

    “You’re right. Which is why I can say that I too have seen the way he looks at you, and it’s a look I’ve never seen him give me.” Unable to find any words to say back to her, you watch as she looks down sadly at the drink in her hands. Reaching across the table, you gently lay a hand on top of hers as a gesture to let her know that it’s okay and that you’re right there for her.

    “Y’know,” she laughs to herself before continuing, “I think the tables have finally turned.” Your head tilts to the side as you try to figure out what she meant. Sensing your confusion, she goes on to say, “Back in high school, I knew about your crushes on Eric, Hwiyoung and Jaemin.” Surprised, you drop your hand from hers and lean back in your chair, looking at her with a stunned expression, wondering how she could’ve possibly known.

    “You were obvious Y/n. You basically followed them around like a lost puppy, and I only figured it out because they followed me around like a lost puppy.” You were unable to deny her claim. Looking back on it now, that’s exactly how it was in high school.

    “But now, like I said, the tables have turned, and the guy that I like likes you.” Taking in her words, you realize that she’s finally feeling the pain you felt in the past, except for it’s worse for her because their feelings went both ways unlike your one-sided crushes.

    “But you know I don’t like him, right?” You never saw Felix in that way. To you, he was just the sweet, bright guy who baked amazing pastries. He was the guy that knew how to brighten up the room. He was also the guy that you forward to seeing every morning you planned to visit the bakery.

    “Lost in thought there?” Nakyung’s voice brings you out of your thoughts about Felix. Once you’ve focused your attention back onto Nakyung, she’s giving you this expression that you can’t quite describe. “Oh, I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

    “I asked you if you were sure about that because you know, I wouldn’t blame you if you did like Felix. He’s an amazing guy; a total sweetheart. He listens to all your concerns and makes you cute little treats. He gives the best hugs. His smile makes you want to smile. Honestly, I could go on and on about him, and I think you could too.”  With the way Nakyung spoke of Felix, you could tell that her feelings for Felix were deep, which made you feel worse because you unintentionally ruined something that was great.

    Nakyung looks down at the time on her phone and starts to get ready to leave. “I have to go soon, my shift is about to start, but look Y/n,” she pauses to look you in the eyes, “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. You can’t help it when someone’s feelings change. It’s not your fault. And I know that you don’t like Felix, but maybe just give him a chance. The two of you both deserve to be happy, and I can tell that you already make him happy, and I can guarantee that he’ll make you happy too. Just think about it, yeah? Don’t think about me, think about yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, you know where you can find me.” With that, she bids you a goodbye, leaving you alone to think about her words and Felix.

    The following day after your impromptu hangout with Nakyung and after a long night of thinking, you were at the daycare getting ready for story time. While you were busy trying to round up the kids for story time, you hear a knock off in the distance, and then all of a sudden, all of the kids started to run off in one direction. Turning around to see who could possibly have caused the kids to get this excited, you are met with the sight of Felix holding a pastry box. He manages to send you a wave, while some of the kids try to get him to carry them. Awkwardly standing in your position, you wave back at him and contemplate whether or not you should help him or not. Being the good person that you are, you choose to help him.

    “Kids, I know you guys are happy to see Felix and he’s happy to see you, but I don’t think he appreciates you guys bombarding him. I’m sure that if you guys give him a little bit of space that he’ll share his lovely treats with you guys.” At the sound of your last sentence, the kids relax and back away from him. Felix gives you a thankful smile, and then goes to squat down to speak to the kids.

    “You guys want to see what I brought you guys today?” Cheers of yes’s sound off, and you can’t help but let out a soft chuckle. Suddenly you sense a presence next to you, “Oh? Felix is here?”

    Slightly turning to Jeongin, “Yeah, I wonder why.” Jeongin does his best to avoid your gaze, “I don’t know, why don’t you go and ask him.” He gently shoves you towards the direction of Felix, which catches Felix’s attention.

    He smiles up at you as you slowly approach him. He’s still handing out the cake pops that he’s brought for the kids. After he’s given the last child their cake pop, he rises back up, giving you the same smile he gave the kids.

    “Hey.”

    “Hi.” The awkwardness is killing you.

    “Heyy.” The last hey comes from Jeongin, and the glare you send him makes him back off. Though you do appreciate his effort of trying to make this less awkward than it already was.

    “Hey Jeongin.” Jeongin then goes off to wrangle the kids together again, leaving you and Felix by yourselves in awkward silence.

    “Soo…what made you stop by?” This was the first time Felix had come down to the daycare, so you really weren’t sure why he was here, especially with everything that’s happened between the two of you.

    “Oh, today’s my day off and to keep myself busy I thought I’d try out this new cake pop recipe and thought that the kids would like to try them.” Of course Felix was still baking on his day off.

    “And I thought that you would like these.” Felix hands you a small container. Curious, you open it up to see your favorite macarons.

    “How’d you know these were my favorite?”

    “Y/n, you buy at least two of them every time they’re available.” You didn’t realize that Felix noticed that about you, but then again you didn’t realize a lot of things about Felix.

    “Oh, um thank you.”

    “You’re welcome, I just thought that since you haven’t been by Sunshine’s recently that you might be missing them, so I made some for you this morning.” The smile he gives you gives you a warm feeling on the inside, and you do your best to ignore it.

    “You made them this morning? Felix you really didn’t have to.”

    “No, it’s alright, I wanted to…and I wanted to see you.” That’s why he was truly here. It’s been about a week since you’ve rejected him, which has been enough time for you to think.

    “Ah, I see.” Before you could say anything else, Daisy walks up to the two of you and grabs at Felix’s hand.

    “Felix, will you sit with me during story time?”

    “Daisy, I’m sure Felix would love to, but he’s probably very busy today.”

    “Actually, I’m not, so yes Daisy, I’d love to sit with you during story time.” He gives you a cheeky grin before letting the little girl guide him to the reading circle.

    For the entirety of story time, you and Jeongin had to deal with little children with sugar rushes and you could say that you were slightly thankful for the fact that Felix was there to help the two of you. Even though he was the reason as to why they were like this. You had also done you best to ignore the longing stares Felix gave you as you read The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Once story time finish, it was time for the children to pack up and get ready to be picked up. Fortunately for you, this meant that Felix didn’t have a chance to talk to you, but unfortunately for you, once the last child left, Felix was still at the daycare.

    “I got to go check something in the office, be right back.” Jeongin excuses himself from the room, leaving you alone with Felix. You mentally curse Jeongin because you knew he left so Felix could talk to you.

    “Y/n-“ Before Felix could finish what he was saying, you cut him off. “Could you hand me that?” Pointing at the doll that needed to be put up. Handing you the doll, Felix catches your wrist when you turn around to put it up. “Y/n, can we just talk for a minute?”

    Slowly turning around, you say to him, “There’s nothing to talk about.” You knew you were being rude to Felix, but you thought you were doing what was right.

    “Okay fine, just listen okay? If you don’t have anything to say to me afterwards then I’ll get out of your hair.” Instead of responding, you continue to pick up the toys the kids left on the ground.

    You hear Felix take a deep breath before he goes on to say, “I know that it was sudden when I confessed to you, but I truly meant it Y/n. And I know that you think that I like Nakyung still, but I don’t, and I haven’t for a while now. Before you can say that I was playing with her feelings while liking you, I know, and I feel horrible, but she was a safe place for me and then you came in like a tornado and ruined that for me. I just want you to know that we talked about it, and she’s okay with us. If there’s even a chance for us. I just hope that you’ll give me a chance to show you my true feelings.”

    Stopping your actions, you take a moment to process Felix’s words. You felt bad for Nakyung, but you couldn’t help but feel a small yearning for Felix. After everything that’s happened, you’ve come to the conclusion that you may have feelings for Felix. He was everything you wanted in a partner, and here he was trying his best to be with you.

    “You won’t be giving away special desserts to other people, right?” At the sound of your sentence, a smile starts to grow on Felix’s face.

    Chuckling, he says, “No, I won’t. Except for the kids.”

    “And me!” Jeongin yells out from the back. The two of you can’t help but laugh at him. Instead of directly responding to Felix, you walk closer to him, and slightly bump him with your waist. “Good.”

A/N: im so sorry this took so long to come out; I had so many ideas for this and didn’t know which direction to go in, but I hope you guys liked it. feel free to let me know what you guys think!

[fullsunalicia]

can you write a royal au with any of the dreamies?? thank you and your writing is really good!

a true love‘s kiss — NJM

as the youngest of four daughters, you are the least of all expected to ascend the throne. sure, you can marry, but with your father‘s reputation and the land he possesses, no one‘s going to fight for the daughter that is going to inherit nothing. that is, until one particular beautiful prince sets eyes on you and never wants to look anywhere else ever again.

prince!na jaemin x princess!reader

thank you so much for the request, and your kind words! 🤍 honestly i thought of jaemin right away and the idea made me really giddy. i hope you enjoy!

Na Jaemin is famous for his beauty and his power. It‘s no wonder that someday, he comes knocking at your father‘s doors, asking for his daughter‘s hand in marriage.

Everyone hopes to marry Soyeon. She‘s the eldest, and most beautiful one of you. Because there are no brothers in this family, she is going to take the throne someday and be called Queen, while you and your elder sisters will remain princesses. Maybe after her coronation, someone will have pity on you and make you their queen.

But as long as Soyeon is unwed, no one‘s eyes will ever sway to you.

You have come to like living in her shadow. The attention is never on you, and you essentially get to be the troublemaker without being punished too much. Soyeon may be the eldest, but you‘re the favorite, the baby of the family. You are spoiled rotten, and everybody knows. Despite that, you still treat everyone with respect, thank the servants for even the littlest things and like to spend time with the people in the castle, no matter what social standing they are of.

So when a servant of yours informs you that Prince Jaemin is to come visit, you shrug and turn your attention back to the flowers again.

Most times, the servants forbid you from helping them. Most times, you just ignore them and do it anyways. That‘s why you’re sitting next to Haseul (your gardner) right now, knees deep in the mud, even though your dress was more expensive than imaginable.

„Are you not excited to meet him, princess?“ Haseul hands you a particularly beautiful tulip, and you set it aside. Later, you‘d put it into a vase in your chamber. „I heard he‘s very charming. He‘s got it from his father, no doubt - he‘s a good king, but it took the man some time to settle down.“

„How do you know?“ You‘ve heard much about the rumoured Na king, and you even remember an encounter when you were really young. He had gifted you a very nice necklace, still well-kept of in one of your drawers. He‘s nice, but you don‘t know what kind of king that makes him. Politics is not your forte.

Being a troublemaker is.

„Servant‘s gossip.“ Haseul tears open a bag of planting seeds, and she holds it open for you so you can scoop out a a handful. Where you‘re kneeling right now would soon be a field of roses, in just a few weeks. „Information spreads fast, especially when it‘s being spread by the people working in the castle. I‘ve heard their servants are being treated exceptionally well. Maybe as nice as ours, but they don‘t have a princess like we do.“

That makes you smile.

There‘s one amazing key factor to being the youngest. The rules don‘t apply to you as much. You are not expected to be the picture-perfect daughter who has to satisfy the entire world, and you are not expected to mingle with the right crowd. No one is fazed when you hug the maiden who helped you put on your corsage. Nobody minds it when you pop into the kitchen and thank all the cooks for the nice food.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Thankfully, you‘ll never have to.

Haseul helps you up and sighs at the many stains the flower bed has left on your dress, but she only shoos you away and tells you to get changed before your mother sees.

The castle is enormous. If you hadn‘t been raised here, you‘d gest lost often. The hallways are like a maze, leading god knows where and sometimes, most parts of the castle are inhabited. Countless times have people lost their way in here, and every time they are lead back by an awkward grinning servant or the princesses who come looking for them. Your chamber isn‘t the biggest one, but in your opinion the prettiest - through the windows, you have a perfect view of the garden, watching the sun set and rise on your favorite flowers.

„We must get you ready quickly, princess,“ the girl who‘s helping you step out of the dress says. She‘s new, you notice it immediately. Even if it seems impossible, you try and remember every face of everyone who works here, even if you catch a glimpse of your sisters‘ servants only once a year. This maiden is new, maybe even younger than you are. „Prince Jaemin is already on his way.“

„Are you new here? What‘s your name?“

She smiles. „I‘ve heard of your kindness towards the people who work for you,“ the unknown lady mumbles, and you watch as she turns you around to tie your corsage. Her fingers are nimble, rough at the tips. „Thank you. But we mustn‘t be late, so we‘ll have to wait for afterwards with the introductions.“

„Will you tell me your name then?“

Someone opens the door to your room, carrying in a monstrosity of a dress. Of course it‘s breathtakingly beautiful, but it‘s practically a star. Jewels blink at every fold of the garment, thin, barely there, but still shining bightly. A little bit like you.

Your new friend giggles as she waves the person who carried the gown in closer so they can help. „Sure,“ the respond comes several seconds later. „If you promise me to shine just as bright as your sisters tonight. Don‘t let them steal the spotlight all the time - there‘s a reason you‘re the favorite.“

❀ ❀ ❀

Na Jaemin is so beautiful, you almost want to cry.

Well, not like you‘d waste your tears on men. For a silly reason, atleast. But you‘d make an exception for this prince, who seems more angel than human, because his smile makes everyone in the room breathless and he doesn‘t seem to notice. Or maybe he does, and he enjoys it.

For the first time in long, you‘re sad that suitors only look for Soyeon.

Of course you wish the best for your sister. She‘s strict towards you, but she still loves you. She was the first person to see you walk, because she taught you how. Soyeon taught you how to tie your own corsage, because any proper woman should be able to. Every now and then, she forces you to sit down and study, even though it‘s not expected of princesses to be highly educated. But Soyeon expects it. She knows every corner of your razor-sharp intellect and she wants you to use it.

You want her to marry someone who treasures her. But you also want someone to look at you like everyone seems to look at her.

The promise you had given to the new girl rings in your head, but you can‘t seem to bring yourself to do it. Na Jaemin hasn‘t looked at you once. So you lower your head, and wait for it to be over.

„Dear Jaemin,“ your father speaks, voice carrying through the entire room. „We are so glad you made it. Tell me, young friend, how was your voyage? Pleasant, I hope?“

Even his voice sounds dreamy. „It was, thank you! Your country is as beautiful as always. I‘m glad to be welcome as a guest.“

Your mother laughs that. „You‘re always welcome,“ she says, and to an untrained ear, it would sound normal. Only her daughters hear the nervous undertone in her regal voice: the slight worry that Jaemin wouldn‘t want any of the princess, only paying a visit for friendship‘s sake...

Your father‘s kingdom has always bordered to the kingdowm of the Na‘s. To others, that would be a reason to fight. To your families, it was a chance at friendship over generations. The Na clan and the (l/n) clan have always supported each other, lending a hand when the other was in need and treating the other like family. Marriages are unusual, though. There was no need to join the two kingdoms together, but maybe it was time for change since for the first time in long, there are no sons in the lineage of your clan.

Maybe Jaemin has come to use that chance.

Everybody in the room is staring at him. How could they not? It was like an angel had walked into the room, even though his unusual blue hair stuck out like a sore thumb. Maybe he‘s going through a rebellious phase. The color suits him really well, anyways.

All eyes are on Jaemin, but the prince‘s eyes are on you. Past Soyeon and your sisters, Jaemin‘s gaze has wandered to the littlest princess, and he tips his head to the side in curiousity. Like this, he looks like a puppy. Sohye, your third-oldest sister, steps aside to reveal your hiding place, hand landing on your back to push you forward. Your alarmed gaze is met by her own stern one. The meaning is clear. Get out there.

„Who are you?“ Jaemin asks. Your heart stops.

Your father looks at you. His eyes are filled with pride, but also worry. He‘s not used to someone paying attention to his youngest. „This is (y/n),“ he introduces you, and Jaemin steps closer to take your hand. As his lips meet the back of your hand, you notice how he enjoys the way that you‘re blushing.

So he does know how good-looking he is! Kind of attractive, to be honest.

You bow your head in respect. „Pleased to meet you, Prince Jaemin,“ you greet him, and the smile he gifts you with makes you dizzy. It‘s like looking at the sun for too long. Your mother‘s gaze burns on your back. „Oh, the pleasure‘s all mine, I assure you,“ he responds seconds later, sun meeting his ocean locks and making them glimmer in the light.

His beauty is off the scales. Literally. There‘s not a way to measure how fast your heart is racing right now because of it.

When the young prince lets you go, your hand still feels warm. Your father grins and claps a hand on Jaemin‘s back, leading him away from the women with the promise of good alcohol waiting outside. The second they are out of sight, your sisters rush to you, curiousity painted on their faces.

„Do you think he likes you?“

„Do you like him?“

„Isn‘t he sooo pretty?“

„Girls,“ the queen sighs. She‘s the last one to approach you, arms crossed in front of her chest. She‘s trying really hard to seem composed, but you can see the excitement in her eyes, the silent hope of giving away a daughter. Any mother would be blessed to have a son-in-law like Na Jaemin. „He was just asking for her name, not her hand in marriage. Let‘s not get our hopes up. Things like these take time.“ Your mother hums. She can‘t keep up the act for long, though. „But do you think he likes (y/n)? Just out of curiousity.“

Curiousity. You, too, would like to know if he‘s as curious about you as you are about him.

❀ ❀ ❀

The servants come rushing into your room in the middle of the night and for a split second, you think the castle is under attack. But who in their right mind would smile while they’re being attacked? No one. Not your servants, atleast. They giggle and cheer as they lock your door and sit on your bed, tapping rhythms onto your blankets. “We bear good news, princess!” Jina, the youngest out of the bunch, speaks up.

You rub your eyes, still hazy from sleep. The moon is the only thing casting light into the chamber, giving everyone in it the appearance of a ghost. “What news would be so amazing that you’d cheer around like this?” you mutter, but you don’t want to spoil their fun. They’re in an exceptionally happy mood.

Haseul, who’s still wearing her work attire, inches closer. “I was the first one to know, princess,” she whispers, as if it was a state affair she’d be exposing. Her eyes look like jade stones when the light hits them just right. “The king and the foreign prince, Jaemin, they were walking in the garden and speaking rather loudly. I couldn’t help but overhear... and I’m very sorry for listening in, that was rather rude of me...”

“Haseul!” Jina cuts in, begging the older one to get to the point. The gardner clears her throat. “Right,” she laughs. “I couldn’t help but overhear the prince asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage... if she’d like to have him. He said, and I quote, ‘If she’d want to be mine as much as I want to be hers, there would be nothing more that’d be making me happier’.”

Your shoulders drop.

Of course he’d want to marry Soyeon. Really, it was a silly daydream to think that anyone would cast away your father’s precious kingdom at the low cost of one marriage. Any second now, they’ll tell you that your sister’s getting married and someone will finally come looking for you, and not the crown...

“And the king asked him, ‘Has Soyeon gotten into your head already?’, to which the young prince replied ‘My king, I know this must be rather ungrateful of me and if you want to reprimand me then please go ahead, but I’m asking for youngest, for sweet (y/n). If (y/n) feels the same. Otherwise, I’ll stay as planned for the next few days and then return to my father’.”

All servants look you in the face, waiting, hoping you would be as happy as them. You can barely register the news. Slowly, very slowly, you raise your hands and pinch your own cheeks. Once, twice. When nothing happens, your mouth falls open.

Jaemin wants to marry you. Someone actually looked you in the eyes and liked what they saw.

“Oh my god,” you whisper. Then, louder: “Oh my god! He wants me to marry him!”

The words work like a charm; the entire room fills with squeals and laughter, and you grab your girls to pull them onto the bed with you and hug them close. To any other princess, that would be unacceptable. But you’re not any other princess. You’re (y/n), with nothing to inherit but the kindness of your father and the loyalty of your mother, the stars in your eyes, Jaemin’s heart in your palms.

And if he wants it, you’ll give him your own on a silver platter.

❀ ❀ ❀

For once, you’re actually nervous about your appearance.

You tug at your hair, pull at the dress you’re wearing. Is your jewelry too much? Is the perfume annoying? Maybe lavender doesn’t look good on you. Yeah. Maybe changing into something nicer would be better...

“What are you doing?”

You turn around. It’s the new girl - the pretty face without a name. She smiles at you, hands pulling you away from the mirror to sit you down on a stool. You watch her reach for a comb and lean your head back as she starts untangling the knots in your hair. “I’ll braid it for you,” she says, voice as smooth as silk, “if you tell me what’s gotten you so nervous.”

You hum. “You haven’t given me your name yet. If this keeps up, I’ll just have to call you ‘friend’ instead of your name, and that gets rather confusing.”

“I feel like I’m being blackmailed.” The woman snickers. She divides your hair and starts braiding it into a side bun. Her touch is careful, soft. It takes her a few moments before she speaks again. “My name is Soojin. I was born and raised not far from the castle, and I’ve always dreamt of working here. There was this nice little princess everyone admired...” She moves to grab some fixing needles. “.. and I heard we were close in age. Naturally, my interest was piqued.” Carefully, they’re inserted into your hair. It looks really pretty, if your mirror isn’t fooling you. “And here I am.”

“Soojin.” You test the name, letting it roll off your tongue. “I like that.”

“And I’d like to hear about your fidgeting now.”

“Now who’s being blackmailed?”

Soojin giggles again. It sounds really cute when she does it, and you turn around to face her. The name fits, weirdly. You can’t explain why, but it just does. “I think the prince is going to propose to me,” you explain, heart racing again. The back of your hand tingles at the memory of his lips. “Haseul overheard him asking for my father’s blessing to marry me.”

“Leaving so soon?” She pouts, but it turns into a smile. You reach out to hold her hand. For a second, she’s taken aback by the physical affection, but gets used to it rather quickly. “I’m joking. I’m very happy for you, princess. Prince Jaemin is a good man. He’ll court you properly.”

“Thank you, Soojin.” You stand up, previous insecurities forgotten. Somehow, talking to Soojin had helped, and you’re calm now, the excitement making your heart flutter like a hummingbird. Other than that, you’re pretty tranquil. “And if you think I’d leave you behind like that, you must not have heard enough about me. If he .. really proposes, you’re moving with me. If he wants it or not.”

Soojin tips her head back to laugh heartily. “That sounds like a good plan.”

Your father had asked you to meet him in the garden, so with a last hug to Soojin, you depart from your room and begin rushing towards your favorite place in the entire castle. You spent your entire childhood prancing around inbetween the many plants and flower beds, even sitting down often to receive botany lessons from the gardners who worked there to keep your favorite flowers alive. You love the idea of planting something and helping it bloom by caring for it, just like your parents did with you. With their love and support, you grew into a confident woman that knows what she wants, and how to get it.

Flowers were your first love, in a sense. Maybe, if you‘d be lucky, the relationship between you and Jaemin could bloom into your last love.

The garden is unexpectedly empty. Your father is never late, unlike you, getting distracted by every pretty thing. The colored glass in the many hallways. The carnations displayed in the throne room. But there‘s another thing that‘s catching your eye right now: Na Jaemin, standing a few feet away from you, lots of gardenias in his hand.

„You‘re here,“ the prince speaks, heavenly smile spreading on his lips. You nod, heart skipping faster. Was it possible for a human person to look so beautiful? How come a single look from someone can make your knees feel so weak? It takes all your strength to walk to him, and a little bit more to look into his eyes. His gaze is warm, full of adoration.

It makes you giddy.

Jaemin lets his eyes wander over your face before he plucks a single flower out of his bouquet to put it behind your ear. The giggle you let out at that makes him laugh, aswell. Being with Jaemin feels so ... natural. Perhaps if you get to know each other better, this silent admiration could grow into something more. „I heard you like flowers,“ he speaks. „So I went and bought some for you. I hope you like them.“

„They‘re beautiful,“ you tell him, accepting them with the biggest grin on your lips. You‘d bet all your money your father told him about your infatuation with everything that blooms.

The wind tousles Jaemin‘s blueberry-colored hair. „They don‘t match your beauty, though.“ When his fingers brush past your cheek to put your own locks behind your ear, it sends electric currents down your skin. It‘s a pleasant feeling. „If you‘ll allow me, I‘d like to get to know you a little better, princess. For example, did I get your favorite flower right? What‘s your favorite time of the day? How is it that you‘re so cute?“

A heavy blush settles on your cheeks the second he compliments you, and Jaemin has the audacity to laugh at that. When he offers you his arm, you take it without hesitation, clutching the flowers in one arm and him with the other. „You did get it right,“ you admit. „The rest you‘ll have to find out over a cup of tea.“

❀ ❀ ❀

Days stretch into weeks as Jaemin spends every single minute he can spare with you.

You know now that Jaemin has a sugar tooth, and he kisses you on the cheek everytime you bring him candy to a meeting. The first time he did, the servants who were secretly spying almost passed out, which led to the king finding out about it. It was funny watching Jaemin apologize to him, but as soon as your father had turned around, his lips were on your skin again. He lives for the affection; it‘s easy to wrap him around your little finger by disheveling his hair or locking pinkies with him. You even do it in front of your parents and siblings, even though you still sometimes hide your hands behind the expensive material of your dresses. Jaemin grins at your sneakiness.

Though the prince learnt very quickly that gardenias were your favorite flowers, he suprises you with new bouquets often. Tulips, daisies, roses - every flower he sets eyes on makes him think of you, and he can‘t stop himself from buying them. You once spent an entire afternoon making flower crowns out of the many bouquets he buys you, and the second you set it on his head and call him „your king“, he drops anything and everything to cradle your face in his warm hands and kiss you all over.

It‘s no suprise to anyone that the first time your lips meet his, it‘s under the dreamy moonlight in the royal garden.

Jaemin‘s kisses get addicting. Despite being taught to act accordingly as a princess, you find yourself reaching out for him too many times than you can count, and it ends with you ressembling a cherry and both of your lips being swollen. (Soojin spends many hours covering up the many marks on your neck. Really, you should be grateful she‘s so talented with powder and paint!)

It finally happens when Jaemin takes you to see the ocean.

He helps you climb down the rocky path towards the beach, your dress always raised as to not rip the precious garment. „Maybe I should‘ve told you not to wear such a long gown before secretly taking you here,“ Jaemin snickers, arms curled around your waist. He presses you against his side while he carries you like someone would a baby, and you try to fight the embarrassment of his arms being just below your rear. Not like you don‘t like them there.

„That would‘ve been quite helpful,“ you grumble. Jaemin leans his head on yours when you hide your face in the crook of his neck, the cold wind of the ocean making your cheeks freeze up despite the warm weather. The sun is sending its‘ last rays of light over the horizon, but it’s still hot. Jaemin is dressed plainly, while you‘re parading around in what could be considered a ball gown. Well, not really. It‘s a thin, pretty dress that exposes your collarbones, but it has a train.

Obviously, you‘re very excited about all the sand that‘s going to ruin it.

Finally, you reach the beach, but Jaemin‘s neck is so warm. You‘d fall asleep like this, if it weren‘t for said man disturbing your slumber. „Look up, princess,“ your lover mumbles into your ear, the sound making goosebumps appear on your skin. He just has that effect on you. You raise your head and gasp, and the man in your arms laughs at the reaction.

„Do you like it?“

„I love it! Jaemin, it‘s wonderful!“

When you were smaller, your father had taken you and your sisters to the ocean. You remember splashing around in the shallow water, ruining the clothes you were wearing and making your parents burst into laughter. The many sandcastles you built. Your first swimming lessons, the first time you were taken into deeper water. You remember it all.

But this takes the cake.

Jaemin‘s scent mingling with the ocean breeze. Warm hands that hold you up for you to see everything. Miles and miles of water stretching out infront of you, the sun setting and painting the waves pink, red and orange. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

You don‘t even notice Jaemin setting you down, even though his lips on the sweet spot below your ear are a very good distraction from the sight in front of you. „What‘s hindering you, love?“ he asks, hands letting you go so you can bunch your skirts and walk towards the ocean. You leave him behind, adoration evident in your eyes.

This is perfect, you think. What you don‘t know is that it‘s going to get even better.

When you turn around to point out a ship leaving the port to Jaemin, you‘re greeted by the sight of the man of your dreams on one knee. He looks at you like you were the most beautiful view around here, and your knees almost buckle at the love and admiration you find in his eyes. He‘s so honest. When you look Jaemin in the eyes, you see every corner, nothing hidden. Because he trusts you. He wants you to have it all.

You‘re the one holding the keys to his heart. It only needs to be made official.

„(y/n),“ he says, voice trembling. Never has he been this nervous before. „My princess, my love. Whatever you‘d like to be called. In my eyes, you‘re already my queen. I was blessed by the universe the day I met you, and it only got better when I got to know the person behind those pretty eyes. Your heartwrenching laugh. The glimmer in your eyes when something makes you excited. The never-ending kindness that you treat the people around you with, no matter who it is. The first time I set eyes on you, your adorable face and the curiousity in your eyes as you hid behind Princess Sohye, I already knew I was head over heels. My heart has belonged to you for a long time, (y/n), without you even knowing it.“

You let him take your hand, squeezing it tightly as the tears run over your face. Here he is, holding a speech about his feelings for you, when you‘re about to drop to your knees yourself and spend the next few years about the love you hold for him in your entire body. He kisses the tips of your fingers, the back of your hand and lastly, your ring finger, lips lingering there for a few seconds.

„I want you to take it,“ Jaemin admits then. „I want to be called yours. I don‘t want to be king if it doesn‘t mean you at my side as the queen. I don‘t want to be Jaemin if it doesn‘t mean belonging to you, soul and body. I‘m asking you, (l/n) (y/n), emperor of my heart, would you like to marry me and make me the happiest man alive, for the rest of my life and beyond?“

You don‘t even answer. You fall head-first into his arms and lay him down on the sand so you can kiss his gorgeous face, and you accept the kiss he delivers to your lips without hesitation. All your feelings and your gratitude, you pour it into this kiss and straight into his heart.

„Of course I want to marry you, Na Jaemin,“ you whisper against his lips, turning the key in its‘ lock, sealing the deal forever. „I was getting rather impatient waiting for you to ask.“

[91percentpynch]

jean moreau + dogs

i‘m combining my two favourite things like ever: jean „the loml“ moreau and d o g s,,, it‘s a mess and kinda long but this made me so emotional and happy

jean gets his first dog when he‘s at the trojans. as he can never be alone and has a lot of issues for obvious reasons his therapist said he should get a dog for emotional support

it‘s a dachshund, her name is chérie which means darling in french

jeremy is quite jealous cause he wants jean to call him that (but that‘s a different post)

okay so jean takes chéreie everywhere - classes, training, nights out with the team

chérie brings back exy balls, jean‘s new favouirte hobby is playing exy with her

jean talks to her when he‘s upset/ sad/ lonely

he will just sit on the floor, softly stroking her, tears running down his cheeks and tell her what bothers him

„chérie, you‘re my only friend. i love you. i just wish someone would hug me and hold my hand. but i don‘t need these assholes, i got you right?“, he mumbles in french, his voice soft, sometimes through a sob. chérie will lick his tears off his hands. jeremy watches from the kitchen and his heart b r e a k s

so with chérie he is doing way better, he makes friends, he opens up, she helps him with his trauma and anxiety and his countless issues

the second dog is his graduation gift from kevin. it‘s an irish red setter. he calls him flamme (which is fire in french)

chérie and flamme are the most important things in his life - besides perhaps his boyfriend jeremy knox

he takes his pups everywhere and every morning he takes them on his morning run with jeremy, each of them holding a dog, soft laughter in the early morning hours and it‘s the happiest moment in jean‘s day

flamme always sleeps on jean‘s torso, he just jumps on the bed and sleeps on his human. chérie sleeps on his feet, as she did since he got her. jeremy just wants to cuddle his boyfriend but the dogs said no and he can‘t hide but smile everytime he sees it. his lockscreen is jean sleeping with the two dogs on him, a soft smile on his lips, hair messy, scarred hands on the dogs

the third dog comes quite shortly after flamme. it‘s a tiny black and white shi tzu. she might look innocent but she‘s like a little tornado, licking everyone‘s feet and hiding under furniture because she is just a tiny little bit scared of this gigantic human and the other dude who comes and goes at what seems random times

jeremy goes pro, jean doesn‘t but that‘s again another post

so jean just sits on the floor for h ou r s calling the tiny dog and he remembers the days in evermore and he u n d e r s t a n d s the tiny little girl

so he calls her lune cause that‘s what jeremy calls him and it makes him think of how strong he is and he get e m o t i o n a l

anygays so he sits at the floor for h o u r s for like three weeks and lune got more and more couragous and eventually she comes out of whatever furniture she would hide under and carefully come to him and he pets her and she lays on her back so he can scratch her tiny little stomach and he does and flamme and chérie come and he‘s surrounded by dogs who lick his face and arms and legs and he gives them so much love and just pets them and they‘re all so in love and he just talks to them

so when jeremy came back that day lune was about to run away but jeremy talked to her in french, very softly and she slowly came back to him and sat next to him and jean told jeremy to carefully come to him and sit down and let her smell his hand and then stroke her and he did and lune stopped being scared

„she reminds me of you mi amor“, jeremy says softly to jean. „that‘s what i thought. that‘s why i called her lune. you used to call me that and it made me feel as if i made it“

jerejean weren‘t lunes‘ first humans, she was with another man before and he used to hit her. that‘s why she hides when your hand comes from a certain angle (my dog does that, lune is basically my dog)

she never loses that habit, even though she knows nothing will happen to her with jerejean and the other dogs

so chérie adopts lune and she‘s really protective of her and so is flamme. on their morning runs jean would hold lune and chérie and jermey would run with flamme, which is funny cuz just imagine 6“5 jean moreau with these tiny little dogs and his boyfriend (5“3 in my head) with this big ass dog and i‘m getting too emotionally attached to that now

so to jean and jeremy‘s one/ two year annivarsary jeremy comes back home form training with this gigantic puppy. and jean looks at him with heart eyes.

„you got another dog?“ jean would say with so much love in his voice.

„look i know they make you happy and i love your smile more than anything and i thought ‚why don‘t we ge the most beautiful man in the entire universe a dog for our anniverssary‘ and just got him. well actually getting him took m o n t h s did you know you have interviews for puppies? apparently this dude here is a very special little snowflake. anyways it‘s an irish wolfhound and those dogs are gigantic, i think they‘re getting 3 feet high? okay i‘m talking too much i‘m sorry i hope you like him because i kind can‘t bring him back“, jeremy started to scratch the back of his head somewhere in the middle of his rant

„i love him, almost as much as i love you“ jean got on his feet and he runs to his boyfriend and he bends down and kisses him and then he takes the dog from him and lune follows him every step he takes and behind her are flamme and chérie and it just makes jeremy feel so much love and happiness

„i only got you this“, jean said, handing jeremy a little portrait of him with a poem on the back. „i made it for you“, jean said, blushing. „jean i love this, i love you and i feel so honored that you d r e w me. oh lord i love you so much“, jeremy starts to cry

anygays jean sits on the floor and introduces the new puppy to the other dogs. he calls him géant (which means giant in french).

so the sleeping arrangments change: flamme still sleeps on jean‘s torso, he‘s just taller and it may or may not become a bit uncomfortable to sleep on his human but he won‘t stop. like ever. and chérie still sleeps on his feet. lune sleeps on his side, always touching him somewhere, his hand on her sides, they are like spooning. and géant sleeps on either above or under lune, as well always touching jean somewhere. jeremy almost doesn‘t fit in the bed anymore.

so the next day they‘re getting a bigger bed. for the dog‘s sack. yes.

so jean spends his days drawing and playing the piano. talking to his dogs. going for walks with his songs. meeting friends, with his dogs. he won‘t leave the house without at least one dog. actually he won‘t leave without all of his dogs.

one day jeremy walked in on him sitting on the floor, the dogs and him sitting in a perfect circle, a tiny tea cup in front of each dogs. they were having tea. on the floor. jeremy took a picture of it and sent it to kevin and andrew. this was his family and he felt so many emotions and he started to cry because it was just so c u t e. there was his tall ass boyfriend, who looked quite scary, on the floor, talking softly in french with his four dogs. and he was just about to leave them be when he said a bit louder „you can join us darling. i left a cup for you on here“ and jeremy just went to his boyfriend and their four dogs and they had tea on the floor in front of the tall windows watching the moon replace the sun

it became kind of an tradition

just like the dogs sleeping in their beds

i like to think that each dogs represents a part of them: chérie is jeremy in college, lune is jean in colllege, flamme is jeremy now and géante is jean now

okay so jean gave up exy in my head BUT he still plays exy with the dogs

jean makes jeremy and him matching jumpers with the dogs in winter

the apartment is full and i mean FULL with pictures of the dogs and jean with the dogs and jeremy with the dogs and jerejean of the dogs, like every wall is full with pictures, every shelf that doesn‘t have drawings of jean is full with pictures of them with the dogs, the piano jean plays on each day when jeremy comes back from training is full of dog pictures, they are literally everywhere. there is even one on the toilet

sometimes when their friends over it gets just Too Much and he has to leave the room and the dogs follow him and he just has to sit on the floor and talk to them and stroke them and everything gets better

jean loves his dogs so much, they are like his best friends, they understand him, they make sure he is never alone, even when jeremy has to leave for away games or interviews and comes home late

jeremy might have put his pieces together but the dogs are like the glue that keeps them together

it also became tradition that jeremy always takes the tall dogs on their morning runs and jean runs with the small ones. when lune and chérie are tired he will carry them

sometimes you will find jean moreau with jeremy knox on his back, lune and chérie in each hand and flamme and géante on each side

people sometimes look funny at him, but he doesn‘t care

the dogs saved his life, made it something happy and bright, like jeremy knox. never did he dare to think jean could be that happy. but now he is in this bright apartement, sitting on the floor, painting a portrait of jeremy, dogs all around him sleeping and he just can‘t help but smile

[catboymingi]

if you’re reading this...

navi/masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: fluff, some crack maybe?; best friends to lovers

word count: 2.6k

warnings: literally not a single one. implied frozen hate (i‘m joking)

for evigt / måske for evigt / skal vi sammen samme vej / og når i morgen får øjne og natten hviler sig / skal vi for evigt måske den samme vej - forever / maybe forever / we’ll take the same road together / and when tomorrow comes and the night goes to rest / we’ll maybe take the same road forever

it had become a routine that after your classes you’d walk to the café mingi was working at, getting a hot chocolate (to which he added an extra large amount of whipped cream while giving you a wink) and settling on whatever chair was free in order to study some until he got off work. sometimes you’d spice it up and get a different drink, and sometimes he’d spice it up and bring you a mystery drink to wherever you were studying. today, however, you just got the regular while you waited for your best friend to have time to entertain you. you’d had an exam today and really just wanted to yell about the phonetic inconsistencies you’d had to deal with, but you knew no one but mingi was willing to listen. so you had to wait for him, sighing in annoyance every couple minutes as you looked through your study materials.

when his shift was finally over you grabbed your stuff, throwing away the receipt and napkins that he insisted on giving you even though you told him time and time again you didn’t need them. then you rushed over to him, an exaggerated sigh of annoyance leaving your lips in order to make him ask you what was up. the boy wrapped his arms around you and laughed when you dropped your bag from the sudden embrace.

“you had an exam today. how’d it go?” this was what you loved about him - he always remembered these details about you and your life, he knew your schedule well enough to get worried when you were late, and he genuinely wanted to hear about things that were on your mind.

“don’t ask. how can a single language have this many rules that literally no one cares about? studying for this was just like this is the rule. yes we use it. no we don’t. you’re welcome.” you said the last sentences with a fake cheery voice, making your contempt for the exceptions that seemed to be more than the words that adhered to the rules obvious. then you kept on ranting while mingi grabbed his stuff, and while you left the café, and you first got done when you were already halfway to your place, glad that you got to let out some frustration.

“that sounds… hard”, he said, unsure of what else to say since he had no idea what exactly you were talking about. languages were your thing while maths was his, but you both still supported the incomprehensible monologues of the other whenever one of you got either really excited or really frustrated about their subject.

“if it were me, i would simply make the language follow the rules.” you laughed at that - he said exactly what you’d thought countless times before.

“mingi for language council president”, you joked and he looked at you with big, excited eyes.

“that’s a thing? would you vote me in?” now you had to laugh even more. he really didn’t know anything at all about your subject, but the excitement was adorable.

“sorry to disappoint, i don’t think that’d work. you can be the ceo of choosing the movie though, if that mends your broken heart even a little bit.” you were at your place now, and you could feel mingi vibrate with excitement next to you at the prospect of getting to choose the movie. he acted like a giant baby sometimes, but that only made you like him more. this was much better than someone who never got excited about anything.

you let both of you in, getting out your laptop and placing it on your desk chair next to the bed (you were a student, so you had neither a sofa nor a decent table, your desk being cluttered to a point where it was an act of mental gymnastics to even figure out it was a desk at all), joining the boy who’d already settled on your bed.

“what’s the choice?”, you asked, cursor hovering over the search bar.

“frozen.”

“of course.” you laughed but complied with his request, sitting back and leaning into his chest as the movie started playing. you loved movie nights with him - when you were spending time with him like this you were able to relax, and knowing he enjoyed it just as much only made it better. by now you’d seen several movies upwards of five times because they were your go-to choices, but it didn’t matter. it was less about the plot than it was about being close to him and enjoying each other’s presence even when you didn’t say much.

the night continued like this, your best friend choosing silly movies only and the both of you trying to one-up each other with bad jokes until you got tired and went to bed. this was how it usually went, and you wouldn’t want to miss this for anything in the world. going to bed together, waking up together, making early mornings a little easier to stand.

days went on like this, meeting mingi at work, spending evenings and nights together, and to you everything was as usual. you continued to not pay attention to your receipt when you ordered from your best friend, which resulted in him sending his coworker to you one day when you were again studying while waiting for him to get off. you looked up surprised when it wasn’t your personal delivery guy bringing you your drink, and were even more confused when you were handed a plastic cup instead of the regular porcelain one. then you noticed that there was something written on it with a sharpie.

if you’re reading this i’m in love with you.

you looked up at yeosang in shock - you barely even knew him! but he grinned at you and pointed at where mingi was unsuccessfully trying to hide behind the counter, making you realise just who had written the little note. you didn’t really know how to react - his shift wasn’t over yet and surrounded by customers wasn’t exactly the best situation for a serious conversation. but, once more to your surprise, the boy who’d delivered the cup to you went up to your best friend and told him to end early.

“it’s only like half an hour left anyway, i’ll deal.” you smiled at him with gratitude in your eyes as the tall boy slowly made his way towards you.

“do you want a reply right away or do you want to go home first?” from what you knew about him you knew his anxiety was probably eating him alive right now, but you also didn’t really want to talk about this in the middle of the street.

“let’s just go”, he replied, though he was still avoiding your gaze. you wanted to grab his hand, but you had to carry your stuff in one and the other was holding on to the cup with his confession; no way in hell were you going to throw that away. but then you realised he had his bag hanging over his shoulder, which left both his hands empty, made obvious by his nervous fiddling.

“can you carry my bag for me?”, you asked, and he immediately did. this gave you the chance to grab his hand and you smiled up at him as you gave it a reassuring squeeze. for the first time since you left he looked at you, and you could see the fear in his eyes. so you decided to hurry, not wanting him to have to deal with the anxiety by himself much longer.

you finally reached your place, and you didn’t even bother to take off your shoes when you got in before you asked him: “you confessed on a cup?” you tried to give him an appreciative smile, but to him it seemed more like a teasing one.

“well, i tried on your receipts, but you always threw them away without looking, so i just… didn’t know how else to.” he sounded so nervous, his deep voice trembling slightly, and you felt so bad.

“i didn’t know you’d written something there! i’m sorry”, you apologised, remorse apparent in your words, and this time it was his turn to smile at you reassuringly, though it wasn’t very convincing, his own anxiety making it hard for him to have any expression other than one of heart-crushing fear of your reaction.

“it’s fine. i could’ve just said something, too.”

you looked at the cup again, and you could see he’d tried his best to write prettily, which was why you hadn’t even recognised the handwriting as his at first. he’d really put in effort. and you were about to cry at how cute he was and how long he’d probably been trying to get your attention with his little notes and at all the cute confessions that were now in the trash and never to be seen again. but you stopped yourself before you got too sad at that thought, eyes focusing back on the message he’d left you.

“you mean this?”

“mm. i thought i should tell you.” his gaze was glued to the floor. “sorry i did it stupid like this though.”

you stared at him in shock. “take that back right now.”

“huh?” this wasn’t what he’d expected. he’d thought you’d turn him down or laugh at him or something, but not that you’d tell him to take it back.

“this is the sweetest thing ever and if you say it’s stupid one more time i’ll have to reconsider my feelings.”

this day was just full of surprises for him.

“your feelings?”

you smiled, holding the cup in front of his face with the message clearly readable to him. if you’re reading this i’m in love with you. and even though this technically confirmed that you reciprocated his feelings, he wanted to be sure.

“you mean it?” you nodded, looking him right in the eyes as you did so, hoping he could see that you were serious.

“pinky promise?” now you couldn’t help but laugh - this was such a mingi thing to do, making you pinky promise everything that held some importance to him. but it was another thing about him that made you fall in love with this idiot.

“pinky promise. silly.” the insult was more of a pet name, your voice almost as soft as your expression as you linked your pinky with his. after this he wrapped his arms around your waist, picking you up with a lot more energy than you’d expected him to have after having just worked a full shift. but here he was, all but jumping up and down with you in his arms, and as much as you liked it you had to stop him.

“mingi! the cup!” too late. the rest of your hot chocolate had been emptied over him, serving as a rather unconventional hair treatment. you were both laughing as he let you down and you dragged him to your bathroom, insisting on washing his hair right there.

“it’s gonna get sticky if i don’t” was the reason you gave him, but really you just felt soft and affectionate and happy and wanted to be emotional without him being able to look at you while you said sappy things. so you had him take off his shirt (which had received some of the chocolate treatment as well) and kneel down in front of the shower while you rinsed his hair with warm water.

“is this temperature fine?” you’d checked it on your hand, but you knew that the scalp was always a different story.

“it’s nice. this is nice.” even though you couldn’t see it you knew he was smiling, and you smiled as well.

“you were actually scared i didn’t like you?”

“mm.” you laughed in disbelief.

“you’re incredible. i all but moved in at the café just to see you!”

“mm.”

“i let you choose the movies even though i know you’re gonna choose frozen for the fourth time this week!”

“it’s a good movie!”, he defended himself. but you weren’t done.

“i’ve had you over so much i might as well have you join me in the rent contract, you’ve become more essential for a good night’s sleep than my blanket, i regularly steal your clothes, i-”

he interrupted you, laughing. he knew that if you weren’t washing his hair right now, you’d be using your fingers to count just how many things you thought had been dead giveaways.

“okay, i get it. but you didn’t realise either, so we’re even.”

“mm.” you turned off the water and yelled at him not to move when he tried to get out the shower before you’d put a towel on his head.

“now you can move.”

“how generous”, he teased you before sitting up, making sure his shoulders were dry enough to not drip on the floor either.

“if you can’t appreciate this i don’t think you deserve the honour of dating me.” this time it was your turn to tease him, but you hadn’t anticipated the reaction you got. he turned around so quick that he almost fell on his butt, staring at you wide-eyed.

“dating you?” he sounded so shocked that you weren’t sure if he liked the idea or hated it. so you decided to keep joking just so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself if he didn’t want to.

“i was thinking about it, but now i don’t think i want to”, you said, pretending to be sulky. but it seemed like he was still so in shock that he didn’t catch on to the fact that you were joking.

“o-of course i appreciate this, and you! and you. i’m-” you hadn’t expected him to actually take you seriously, so it took a moment to realise that he did, but as soon as you did you interrupted him.

“i’m joking! i’m joking”, and as if to convince him you smiled at him, the smile you usually gave him when he’d forgotten to bring something you’d asked him to and felt guilty. the ‘it’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong, don’t worry’ smile.

“oh. so you’ll date me?”

“mm. but can you ask again? this isn’t very, like… romantic.” this time your smile was apologetic, but his was so bright you were sure that if you turned off the light right now you’d still be able to see perfectly.

he was still on the floor and made use of that as he shifted to be on one knee, looking up at you who was looking at him with a mix of shock, adoration and a held back laugh at his silliness on your face.

“y/n, will you be my girlfriend, wash my hair whenever someone spills their beverage on it, be there to remind me to not make a mess, and make me smile for as long as you can stand me?” mingi was being goofy to make it less awkward for the two of you, but you knew he meant it anyway, and even though you almost burst out laughing at his proposal your heart was beating faster than it should, your stomach feeling tingly and weird but in a good way.

“yes. now get up, you’ll get cold.” and with that you grabbed his hand, dragging him to your bed as you set up your laptop. it was time to watch frozen for the fifth time this week, but as you settled against your now-boyfriends warm chest and felt him kiss the top of your head with water dripping from his still wet hair onto your nose, you realised that you’d watch frozen every day for the rest of your life if that meant you’d get these situations for the rest of your life.

[juminsmysticmc]

Hey Hey~ In order for something cute and fluffy, What do you think an orphan MC's Speech at one of the RFA parties looks like?maybe after she get married or before So you can choose if she is with one of the boys or not, think it would be so emotional and overwhelming! if it's too much for you please ignore it. Thank you!

RFA with an orphan Mc who has a speech at her first official RFA Party 

Sorry that it took so long, I hope you enjoy the HC. Please give me feedback

Jumin

After learning that you were an orphan, your husband Jumin Han tried to give you even more love than before.

He was really surprised that you, such a lovable person, was raised without any love.

In an orphanage, lonely, without people you could go to.

But he was lucky that the two of you found each other.

,,Ohh it’s my first party as leader and wife of the big Jumin Han…“ you giggled happily as your husband let you into the car.

Like a gentleman, he opened the car door and gave you his hand in order to make sure that you wouldn’t stumble.

His smile made you feel loved.

Once again, he approved that he was just the perfect husband.

A few seconds passed until Driver Kim opened the door for Jumin and seated him next to you.  

As soon as he sat down, he took your trembling hand and stroked it as a sign that he was there, ready to support you.

The party went perfectly, the guards did an amazing job, the media wasn’t too curious and the decorations were amazing.

A lot of guests arrived and a lot of money was raised.

,,Once again, our Mc did an amazing job!“ Yoosung praised and hugged you.

You hugged him back and looked at Jumin, your smile filled with happiness.

Even through Yoosung was a man he wasn’t jealous.

Jumin knew that you had no one in the past and that you looked at him like a brother.

,,Okay, it’s time for my speech…“ you mumbled, nervous, and waved to the others.

You slowly went up the stairs and took the microphone.

,,Okay, just the way you studied it!“ you mumbled to yourself.

And so your speech began:,, I‘m thankful to everyone who came today. But I‘m especially thankful to my husband, Jumin. Thanks to you, I found a family. A younger brother, an older sister, three big brothers, and you... a best friend and husband. To this day, I never thought that I would be so happy. It’s amazing and I‘m very thankful. I love you all…“ you finally finished, of course not without crying.

As soon as you stepped down, the RFA and Jumin waited for you with open arms.

Zen

He didn’t know and you didn’t tell him either that you actually were an orphan and grew up in an orphanage.

You also kept it a secret that you got out of the orphanage as soon as you were allowed to.

You didn’t have a lot of friends too, so when you entered the RFA, you felt truly loved.

Jumin, who made sure that someone would catch you and bring you safely to Zen.

Seven, who made sure that the apartment you were staying at was secure, even though he failed. And Yoosung, who made you always smile with his silliness.

Jaehee was just as caring as a big sister, and so having Zen as your boyfriend made you feel complete.

The life you kept living in sorrow without a proper family wasn’t in vain at all.

Today, at your first party with Zen as your boyfriend, you wanted to tell him that you were actually an orphan.

One of the reasons for this confession was that you didn’t want to have secrets between the both of you.

The second reason was that Zen was jealous and you wanted to show him with this confession that there was no need to be jealous.

As soon as both of you arrived Seven approached you, hugging you and running with you in his arms through the hall.

,,Oi, put her down! She‘s my girlfriend!“ Zen hissed again, making Seven out you down.

,,Oppa, Seven is like my brother,“ you then told him.

,,He‘s still not blood related to you…“ Zen mumbled.

You slightly smiled and thought about what he just said.

If he knew that there was no one blood related, how would he react?

But this was a topic you could talk about later.

You first greeted all your guests and then said hello to the other members of the RFA.

,,Now, the host of our party will have a few words,“ Jumin said and then clapped.

You approached the stairs to get on the stage.

But suddenly, you saw a hand that was there, ready to help you up - Jumin‘s.  

This gesture already made you tear up.

As soon as you were placed in front of the microphone, you began your speech. 

,,It all began after I escaped from the place I hated the most, the orphanage I lived in.

I don’t know why I ended up there. Do I have a family? Did they give me up? Did they die? Whatever the reason was, I never tried to find them or learn what a family really is. I escaped that place and found myself lost in this big, cold world. A lot has happened to me since I left that place, but the best thing that happened to me was that I was suddenly in the RFA. In a group with a lot of strangers that wanted me to host this party. I was unsure at first, but the more I came to know this group, the more I learned that I wasn’t the only one who had a bad time. Other people didn’t feel good either. But these people went on living and they could, because they had each other. I want to tell you all that I’m grateful. Thank you to all the guests who are here today and thank you to the RFA who accepted me and finally gave me a family. I now know what being loved means.’’

You nodded and when you stepped back from the microphone, you finally let go of your sobs.

Suddenly, a lot of flashlights took pictures of you but a strong chest hid your face and saved you from the media.

,,I’m sorry that I didn’t know, princess…’’ he whispered and stroked your back.

Yoosung

This little detail was something which made your husband think even more that you were just like Rika.

But of course, he finally understood that you weren’t her and that you were a totally different person.

You, perhaps, were just as nice as her and as caring as her.

You also did the same work and you also didn’t have a family, but you were different and he knew that.

Besides, you weren’t adopted by anyone.

His favorite thing to do was to watch you be happy with your new family.

It was either his family or the RFA who you loved just as much as you would love your own blood related family.

Today, you wanted to thank the RFA for everything they did. They kept you safe, had faith in you, and never lost hope in you.

,,Okay. I will go up now,’’ you said and nodded to Yoosung.

,,You will be okay. I know, Mc.’’ he assured you and then watched you leave.

Jaehee, who was currently talking, just saw you and then announced that you would take over.

And so it was.  

Your hands were trembling. 

The amount of people below you scared you and the flashing lights of the people who were taking pictures of you made you more scared.

But in the right moment, Jaehee placed her hand on your back, giving you the sign that she was with you and that she was by your side.

,,Hello…’’ you began and already knew that you were totally unprofessional.

But then you saw Seven who was giving you a thumbs up, showing you that you were doing great.

,,Thank you for coming. I am the host of this Party, MC Kim. I would like to thank you for the funds we gathered until now. It means a lot to me and the RFA.

I would also like to thank them, the RFA. Since I met them, a lot of things have happened. As an orphan, I am really happy being able to donate this money to children that were unlucky like me.

I want people who don’t know a family’s warmth and to feel blessed even if there’s something missing. Who knows if they will be lucky enough to find someone to love as quickly as I did? I don’t want these people to fall into despair before they do.

I am endlessly thankful to the RFA and to my husband, a member of the RFA. He kept having faith in me and even saved me, just like a hero would do.

I would like to say that this isn’t the end of this amazing family, because soon the RFA will have a new family member,’’ you smiled.

You could clearly see that Yoosung understood and had tears in his eyes.

Jaehee

You and Jaehee never talked about your families.

You knew that her family died, and that her aunt and uncle took her in, and she knew that you grew up in an orphanage.

But the both of you never spoke a word more.

The both of you thought that talking about sad things wouldn’t help you guys, and so you just went on thinking about the future instead of the past.

And besides, both of you thought that you were a family now, so thinking about your past wasn’t important anymore.

Today was the first party after you and Jaehee became an official couple.

You both were pretty excited.

One of the reasons was that you both would see Jumin again, who still was disappointed that Jaehee left, and the second reason was that you would give a speech.

Last time the members did it for you, but now you were the official host so it was your job.

But you knew that you were perfectly prepared for that job.

When the both of you arrived at the location, you first welcomed the other RFA members and then you welcomed the guests.

Just like the first party, plenty of guests attended the party, making you feel very proud of yourself.

,,Thank you for coming,’’ you began, looking around and meeting Jaehee’s smiling face.

,,I’m very happy today to welcome you all. It’s amazing that this party has, once again, so many guests. I hope you all can enjoy yourselves!’’

You hawked and then took the cold microphone.

,,I want to also thank the RFA because they’re the reason why I’m up here today. And I want to thank my girlfriend who accepted me in her dream even though we only knew each other for eleven days.

The RFA maybe doesn’t know, but I’m actually an orphan. And thanks to the RFA, I feel as if I’ve found a real, caring family.

Once again, thank you. I don’t know what my life would be like now if I never met you all. And so I want to beg everyone, even though sometimes you are angry or disappointed at people, please forgive them because there are other people who would like to forgive those people but can’t,’’ you said, looking to Jumin, hoping that he understood your words.

You placed the microphone on it’s place again and then walked down, immediately falling into Yoosung’s arm, who waited with tears for you at the stair cases.

A few days later, Jumin visited the shop and met Jaehee to talk about the past. Maybe your family would be completed once again?  

Saeyoung

The two of you were a perfect duo.

Together, with Saeran, you could understand each other’s pain.

Birthdays weren’t as happy as everyone else’s.

Christmases were much colder than they were for others.

Searching for eggs on Easter was more like a game of hiding before something terrible could catch you, and all the other festivities which were held in the world were just annoying.

But now, just three years later you all could enjoy these days like normal people.

But it first took an immense amount of time for the three of you.

For Saeran, it was hard to get used to his new lifestyle.

For Saeyoung, instead, it was a long process to first stop being angry at Jihyun and then grieving over the person that was like a dad to him.

And you were the one who had to first get used to all this love.

When the RFA found out that you life wasn’t the easiest either, they began to be even more caring than they were in the past, even though you all were grieving over Jihyun.

Especially Jumin, who lost his best friend, was the one who was the nicest to you.

,,If you want, I can hire a detective to search for your family, Mc.’’ he said one day.

But you shook your head, declining.

,,There was surely a reason, Jumin. I don’t want to be the only one who looks back into the past. I want to be happy and look forward. But, thank you.’’ you sincerely said and patted his back.

,,So, the first party after V’s death will be held tomorrow?’’ Zen asked the group. 

Everyone nodded.

,,I hope it will be a good party. A lot of people accepted my invitation.’’ you said and sipped your drink.

Everyone gave you a warm smile.

,,My fiancé gave her best, so whatever happens, let’s have fun!’’ your future husband said and made you smile.

But luckily, you were right.

The party went just alright.

A lot of money was raised and new contacts were established.

,,Good evening,’’ you said in the middle of the Party and looked around.

Everyone stayed silent the moment you spoke and looked at you.

,,I would like to thank you all for your coming. It makes me really happy to see that this party was a success.’’ you nodded and inhaled.

,,I would like to say thank you to the RFA who supported me and my new family in these hard three years, even though they were grieving over their leader. A lot has happened to us all, and even though it was hard for them, they were right behind us. Thank you.

I finally know the meaning of supporting the person you like.

I didn’t know what to do until I met all these different people.

They simply entered my life and made me the luckiest person alive.

In the past, I used to be arrogant. I just looked out for myself. What other people did didn’t matter.

If someone was hurt, my first thought was to keep walking because I kept telling myself that no one would help me either. 

But thanks to you all I realised, if I think like that, no one will ever help me for real.

You made me change my way of thinking and I would like to thank you. I hope that in the future, we will all stay as good of friends as we are now, and please know, whatever happens to you, I won’t look away. I will act. For the sake of you and all human beings in need,’’ you ended your speech and earned a loud cheer from the crowd.

MASTERLIST 1MASTERLIST 2MASTERLIST 3

12.11.2019// 22:52 MEST

Tagged:

@foreversunshine-love @giulia2372 @sailormoonrocks666

@widya345 @remiliadacalde @r-f-a-journalists 

[waiting-for-motivation]

black and white | part one

summary: In a world where you see everything black and white until you meet your soulmate, (Y/n) and Steve Rogers are dating because there was a small incident during their first meeting. The truth is that Thor is (Y/n)s soulmate but he doesn‘t tell her because he sees how happy she is around Steve. What he doesn‘t know is that she is even happier around him.

request: Thor request?? Reader and Steve have been dating. Yet reader isn’t sure she loves him. When everyone was drinking and trying to lift Thor’s hammer, reader is the only one to succeed. Thor knows that not only is she worthy, but also his soulmate. So he starts acting odd around the couple and even a tad flirty with reader. it is a sticky situation since she is dating Steve, but she knows she and Thor are meant to be. (Pre endgame please?) :)

pairings: Thor x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader, Avengers x Reader

warnings: soulmate au, cheating, fluff, angst

words: 1979

a/n: This idea is soooo good! Thank you @thoringaround! Oh and please don‘t get me wrong I LOVE MY GOLDEN STEVIE ps: sorry that this lasted soooo long :(

MASTERLIST REQUEST RULES PART TWO

Being together with your soulmate should feel overwhelming but still (Y/n) has this gut feeling that Steve and her aren‘t meant to be. Sometimes the way he talks towards her when he is angry feels the wrong way. Sometimes she is happy when he is away on a mission. Sometimes she doesn‘t like the way his lips feel on her own. Sometimes she doesn‘t feel completely happy around him, like something is missing. Something important.

They can‘t never be hundred percent sure if they are meant to be together because Steve found his soulmate back in the 40s. Peggy was the first person that let him see colors.

Nevertheless it‘s possible to have two soulmates if your first one died. So it could be that they are each other’s soulmate but this unsuspectingness unsettles (Y/n). Steve on the contrary is happy to have a second soulmate because after Peggy‘s death he felt like never being happy again. And here he is, in his arms his second soulmate.

In those moments like now when his arms are around her waist and she feels his warmth she is for once happy. And those moments let (Y/n) forget her bad gut feeling and believe that Steve is her one and only.

For a few seconds (Y/n) enjoys his warmth but then decides to do something good for both of them. Slowly she sits up and puts Steve‘s arms on the bed, always careful not to wake him up. As she leaves the room she grabs one of Steve‘s pullovers and puts it over her short pajamas so that she wont get cold.

With a smile on her lips she enters the hallway and walks towards the kitchen where she wants to prepare a breakfast planning to share it with Steve in their bed. To her surprise someone is in the kitchen making coffee. Thor stands with his broad back to her and waits for his coffee to be ready. In the moment he hears someone entering the kitchen he slowly turns around and smiles welcoming at the young woman.

„Morning Thor.“ (Y/n) returns the smile and opens the fridge to take some jam, butter and the strawberries she brought yesterday out of it. „Why are you awake? Couldn‘t sleep?“ She puts the strawberries into a bowl and places it together with the jam and butter on a small tray.

„Sleep is for mortals. I‘m a god.“ Thor grabs a spoon out of one of the drawers to mix the milk with his coffee and in his movement he slightly touches (Y/n)s hand. Both of them feel a tingling but ignore it. (Y/n) keeps telling herself that it‘s nothing, while Thor knows the truth.

Still they look into each other’s eyes and right then and there (Y/n) realizes that Thor is flexing his biceps. Is he trying to impress (Y/n)? Probably.

„How could I forget that.“ A small giggle leaves (Y/n)s mouth and in that moment Thor can‘t ignore the engaging happiness he feels in every part of his body. For a few seconds he is completely happy but that must get destroyed by a certain super soldier who is entering the kitchen.

Immediately Thor turns towards his coffee and stares at the brown brew.

(Y/n) puts two toast into the toaster and smiles at her boyfriend who is walking right towards her and as he reaches her, embraces her in his arms. Only then (Y/n) realizes that Steve isn‘t wearing a shirt which makes her a little bit flustered.

In the moment they kiss, Thor decides to leave the room because he can‘t stand watching someone kiss what is actually supposed to be his. Unintentionally he slams the door behind himself with a loud sound that brings Steve and (Y/n) to interrupt their kiss.

„Is he okay?“ (Y/n) stares at the door through which Thor left. Her boyfriend only shrugs his shoulders and eats a strawberry.

„He is Thor. He will be fine.“ He kisses (Y/n) once again but this time on one of her cheeks before he puts the tray with their breakfast on the table. With a sad expression (Y/n) stares for a little longer at the closed door, thinking about Thor‘s behavior and then joining Steve for breakfast.

A week later all of the Avengers are having a small party in their common room to celebrate their last mission. Everyone is a little bit tipsy so they are all having the time of their lives. While (Y/n) sits right next to Steve and plays with his big hands, everyone tries lifting Thor‘s hammer Mjolnir to see if they are worthy. It‘s kind of a ritual now for the Avengers because every time they have a party at least Tony tries lifting it.

„Why don‘t you try it, honey?“ Steve looks up from their entangled hands and into (Y/n)s beautiful eyes. For a moment (Y/n) truly thinks about standing up and try lifting Mjolnir but then she shakes her head.

„I don‘t want to make a fool out of myself.“ The Avengers that sit next to (Y/n) and Steve laugh because right now Tony tries lifting the hammer in his Ironman suit. „Like Tony.“ A small giggle leaves (Y/n)s mouth and turn Thor‘s attention from Stark to the smiling (Y/n) who has her head on Steve‘s chest.

„If anyone could be worthy enough to lift Mjolnir it‘s you, Lady (Y/n).“ Everyone looks at Thor who is grinning at a rather unwell and kind of ashamed (Y/n). Her boyfriend looks a little bit angry at the god of thunder because his words sound like flirting in Steve‘s ears.

„Well, if you say so, Thor.“ Slowly (Y/n) stands up and walks over to the hammer. At first she stares at it because she is unsure how to grab it. Then she grabs it and as she takes a deep breath the hammer rises from the table. It‘s like no one even breathes in the common room because it‘s so silent (Y/n) is afraid everyone can hear her heartbeat.

A small smile creeps on (Y/n)s lips. Only she does know if it‘s because of the impact the hammer has on her or because she is proud of herself.

„Now you are welcome to come to Asgard whenever you desire.“ Thor is the first one to speak again and he stands up to get his hammer back. „But this is mine.“ As their fingers brush against one another they both feel a weird feeling deep in their stomachs. Like a week before they ignore it.

„Should we call you queen now?“ Tony grins over his beer bottle and relaxes the mood with his words. Everyone laughs, except for Steve. He looks with a jealous expression towards Thor and (Y/n) who are staring into each other’s eyes as if they were alone in the common room. This makes Steve so angry that he stands up, puts his empty beer bottle on the table and walks out of the room.

„Steven!?“ (Y/n) watches her soulmate leave in worry and follows him.

The problem is that she breaks the heart of her real soulmate with her actions. Thor thought that maybe (Y/n) would realize that they are supposed to be together after lifting the hammer and seeing that she is worthy but that was just a hopeless thought.

The next morning everyone sleeps in because most of the Avengers drunk to much the night before. Thor is the first one to enter the kitchen. Because he is a god and can take much alcohol before getting drunk he feels physically good. Psychologically not. His heart is aching and it yearns after his soulmate. It‘s even worse that his soulmate is close enough to touch but he wont allow himself to do it. Thor can‘t take the happiness away (Y/n) has with Steve.

Thinking of (Y/n) she must of course come through the door and walk into the kitchen. She looks to her feet. As she hears that someone else is in the kitchen she looks up and Thor is greeted with a tired face. Not that (Y/n) looks tired, no, she also looks sad and exhausted. The bags under her eyes look like she cried through the night instead of sleeping.

„Hey, is everything okay?“ The young woman doesn‘t answer which is an answer to Thor. He thinks about asking her more questions but then he realizes that if (Y/n) would want to talk to him then she would.

(Y/n) opens the fridge and grabs herself a yogurt which she eats at the big table in the middle of the kitchen. Bored and with an depressed expression (Y/n) stares at the table and leads her spoon towards her mouth.

Thor who prepared himself a tea also makes one for the woman because that may be one thing that relaxes her. After the teas are ready he puts one in front of (Y/n) and sits right next to her.

This small gesture breaks the ice and (Y/n) starts talking.

„Steve and I had a fight last night. He said things that hurt me really hard. I can‘t tell you but they were really…bad.“ Tears begin to form in (Y/n)s eyes as she speaks of the fight with her supposed soulmate. Thor shifts next to her. He thinks about telling her and ending his and above all her pain. She can‘t live her life with a person that is not her soulmate.

„Can I ask you something?“ After Thor spoke his question out loud he swallows hard and closes his eyes for a second. (Y/n) looks confused into his blue eyes but then nods her head. One more time Thor takes a deep breath. „Do you really think Steve is your soulmate?“

Silence.

(Y/n) stares shocked into Thor‘s eyes.

„Yes, of course. I mean, he is the reason I can see colors so why wouldn‘t he be my soulmate?“ She raises her eyebrows and watches Thor who seems to fight with himself. He wants so desperately to tell her the truth but what if that makes everything worse? What if she doesn‘t want him after she gets to know he lied to her all those years?

„I need to tell you something important, (Y/n), and it‘s okay if you hate me afterwards.“ A small giggle leaves (Y/n)s mouth as she shakes her head. She could never hate Thor. „You remember the day we first met? It was the same day you discovered Steve was your soulmate. I stood right behind him and as you saw him you also saw me. What I‘m trying to tell you is…that I‘m your soulmate. The day you first saw colors was also my first day seeing colors.“

The spoon (Y/n) held in her hands falls onto the table and interrupts the silence. The young woman opens her mouth but she can‘t find the right words.

„I didn‘t tell you because you seemed so happy around Steve and I didn‘t want to take the happiness away from you.“ Thoughtlessly Thor grabs one of her small hands and looks into her tearfully (e/c) eyes. To his surprise (Y/n) puts her other hand onto his cheek and looks so deep into his eyes that he could swear she can see his soul.

(Y/n) knows that this isn‘t a thing everyone would do in this situation, especially because she actually has a boyfriend, but she can‘t resist and kisses Thor. They both feel overwhelmed and Thor can‘t stop grinning. The tickling in their stomachs gets more dominant but one feeling that describes this moment the best is: happiness.

Both of them never felt that fulfilled. It‘s like they can see the colors around them even clearer.

„I found you.“ None of them thinks of Steve and the problems their relationship will cause in the Avengers compound because all they want to feel right now is each other.

Taglist: @xmarveled

[xjamlessparkx]

divorce | myg | 13

summary: in which you have to go through a painful process of your own family shattering

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: angst

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 |12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

“What are you doing?” You heard you mom approaching you. She put the glass of coffee next to the laptop on the table while she bends down slightly. You were scrolling through the page as you felt her narrowing her eyes next to your face.

“What does that mean?” She asked, pointing at the screen. You stopped and turned your head to her.

“I think it’s the best if I and the children move out and start newly.” You clarified and put on a weak smile.

It’s been already a week since the last time you saw Yoongi and had the serious conversation with him. After that, you deeply rethought about your life decisions and the way you acted through this whole process. Sometimes you could really act like a freaking idiot but other times it was him being the douchebag.

You searched for a new job, this time everywhere since you considered about moving your house. You didn’t want to get reminded about Yoongi anymore. First, the house and then a good job if possible. You looked for apartments with a low rent monthly which was pretty hard to doubt you still kept searching every day and every night.

“You will move out?” She asked calmly, pointing at the monitor. You nodded as she turned her face to you again.

Suddenly, she hit the table with her palm, making you wince in your place as some of the liquid dropped out of the glass.

“Are out of your mind? You start talking nonsense. You, you don’t even have a proper job and you start searching for a new home?! Who will pay the rent? The electricity? Your children have their needs and so do you! You can’t get your life together if you think that way!” she yelled, furrowing her eyebrow. You cleared your throat and stepped back.

“Mom… it’s not that I haven’t thought about all of this-” she cut you off, fidgeting with her fingers in front of your face.

“Cleary, you’re using your mind irrationally. Stop that nonsense now and come back to your senses!” She took a deep breath and shut her eyes, massaging her temple. You stood up and examined her face, trying to distinguish her expressions.

“Mom” you heard a thin and feminine voice calling out for you. You turned around to face your little daughter, “are we really moving?” she asked out of blue.

Your eyes widened as you gave your mother a narrowing gaze. If she hadn’t yell then your daughter wouldn’t hear the two of you. You shook your head as you went up to her, “No, no, no- we aren’t” you kneeled down on her level and cupped her cheeks, “Well, not now. Mommy is just looking for a better home for us-” Ahran furrowed her eyebrows and pouted slightly.

“No mom, I don’t wanna move out of here. This is our home.” You licked your lips as you sighed and slid your hair behind your ear.

“Look sweety, this will be much better for all of us-”

“No! If we move out, we won’t be able to see dad frequently anymore…” she pouted and you sighed again.

“Look, I haven’t even found a new home and for now-” you were cut off by the doorbell ringing non-stop and someone hitting the door loudly. Your eyes widened as you turned around to your mother. “Mom, take the kids,”, taking Ahran’s hands in yours your guided her to your mother and she stood up, leaving you to go and get Junsun. The rude person behind the door didn’t stop to bang on the door.

As soon as you opened the door you were met by two pairs of eyes, looking furiously at yours. Yuna. As if the problems who had to deal with weren’t enough, you just had to endure her. It was a nice and chill Sunday until she had to butt in.

“Where is Yoongi?” Just as she wanted to come in your put your arms on the doorframe, preventing her from coming in.

“Who are you to disturb my peace? Plus trying to enter my home without my permission-” You had your hands firmly on the frames as you narrowed your eyes and stared into her eyes which were really red and puffy as if she cried.

“I know that he is in here! Let me in!” She suddenly started yelling and tried to push past you while you stopped her, closing the door shut. She started hitting the door even louder which made you sigh deeply and extremely annoyed with her.

Your hand reached the doorknob and you pulled it forcefully, making her stumble forward. She cleared her throat.

“Listen Yuna,” you started, crossing your arms over your chest as you started into her eyes, “Min Yoongi isn’t here and if you don’t stop bothering me I will surely think about calling the cops for disturbing my peace in my home!” You snapped, making her wince in shock.

“Don’t act innocent Y/N! You know the reason of my presence-” you cut her off, clearly annoyed about her voice and the way she assumed that her way of thinking was right.

“I have no idea why you’re in front of me. Clearly, you’re not leaving, right? Okay, I‘m sorry, but I have to call the cops-” just as you reached out for your phone, she took it away and hid it behind her back.

“Don’t act like you don’t know anything because hell you know what’s going on right now. Because of you, Yoongi broke up with me!” She yelled, taking a deep breath afterward. You furrowed your eyebrows, not sure how to react in this situation. Your feelings were mixed and you couldn’t tell them apart, unsure if they were expressing euphoria or just confusion.

“What?” Perfect! That was literally all you could think of? Just answering in a confused way.

She let out a fake chuckle as she pulled out her hand, handing you your phone back.

“I won’t let you take over us! Believe me. I won’t let you have Yoongi because-”

“I don’t care.”

Indeed, she was surprised about you not talking back. You let your mouth say the words which your mind repeated over and over again. Sometimes it’s getting more real and one is accepting it when it’s said out loud. You didn’t want to fight anymore because you weren’t sure if it is worth, consuming your energy for his unfaithful love.

“Now please leave-” again you wanted to close the door, but she held her arm in front of you, stopping you.

“Yoongi can’t get back to you….” she shook her head, her eyes getting teary as you furrowed your eyebrows. At that moment the postman came up to you, handing you a letter. You rolled your eyes and ignored her presence while opening the letter. She was still mumbling words and you just hoped for her to realize that you gave her an answer already. Your furrowed eyebrows relaxed as your eyes were reading the words, written on the letter.

It was your official date in court for the process of the divorce.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you shut your eyes.

“Here!” You yelled, turning the paper and showing in front of her face. “It’s our official lawsuit. One week. Only one week until we are done, you understood?!” you gritted your teeth, surprised about the sudden anger and the penetrating voice of yours. “Now leave my freaking house!” Without saying anything further, you pushed her and shut the door close.  Throwing the papers on the small commode, you stomped off into your room and slammed the door shut. You were angry but you didn’t know why.

With your hands you went through your face and hair, going from one corner to the other. Slowly, you started biting your nails and you really didn’t know why. You couldn’t figure out why you were in the state of hysteria. It was cruel and kind of humiliating how your heart got ripped off and was cut into pieces. Your heart was full but your mind was empty. It was strange and yet so hurtful. You sat down on the edge of your bed and looked up, your gaze meeting the pictures, which were hanging on the wall in front of you. You chuckled about your stupidity, for not hanging them down. In that time, you couldn’t raise your hand and put them down. It was just wrong.

It felt like your mind woke up as it was sending an impulse to your feet, dragging you to stand up and walk to the pictures where the beautiful memories were plastered on. You smiled to yourself as you were looking at one and each of them. Hesitantly, you reached out for the pictures. Your hands slowly and gently caressing them with your hands. When the realization hit you, you grabbed them and threw them on the ground, causing a loud mess.

Suddenly, the door opened. Your mother ran up to you.

“Y/N!” She had a worry written all over her face. Her arms wrapped around your body and pulled you tighter to herself.

You were in the state of crying but no tear left your eyes. Your body, heart, and soul felt that it was the last step before releasing your new life after the lawsuit. It was so complicated and you didn’t know how to react because of the different feelings your whole body expressed.

Indeed, your mother was worried and wanted to give you a helping hand. At some point, she thought that her help wouldn’t be enough. You have to go through professional therapy for recovering but her saying that would make you even angrier. Of course, you wouldn’t agree. You weren’t insane, just a mother who is going through difficult times. Surely, you hoped for recovering and you were sure to be a new person as soon as you start changing and decorating your own life differently.

You stood up and took the pictures, throwing them all into the trashcan in your room. Meanwhile, your mother followed your actions and watched you pitiful and sad for not being able to help you properly.

“Mom… I’m ok!” You said, leaving the room and going up to the laptop. You were going through the same websites all over again, trying to find a good job and a new home with a payable rent.

It was already getting darker and you were still sitting in front of your screen, writing many online applications and calling some estate agents for a new home. Luckily, you made some appointments for good apartments which you will be looking at this whole week. They weren’t too small and in a bad area, you hoped for good news.

“Y/N, wake up…” a warm hand touched your shoulder and shook you awake, slowly and gently.

You lifted your head from the hard ground which obviously was your table. Going through your hair, you tried to familiarize yourself with your surroundings.

“Mom? What time is it?” you mumbled, your voice coming out low and raspy.

“You were in front of the screen the whole night. I made sure that Junsun and Ahran get their bus. You should wake up now…” She smiled weakly at you as she put her hand on your shoulder. “How about you take a nice shower while I clean the house? Let’s go out together, get some fresh air, gossip around and get different thoughts, huh?”

You smiled at your mother’s suggestion and nodded slowly. But how could you know that going out would make you feel even more miserable?

[thewriterofkpop]

How Y/ N would (have) support(ed) Takuya during his leave from CG

I‘m one of the Takuya Terada International on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. After we found out that Takuya decided to leave the group we decided to form this group to inform other CandYs and Takuya biased how he‘s doing. So, now I thought about it-how would we support him during that time? Please enjoy the story! 

You were a CandY since ever, you just loved the group. When you then got the chance to meet the boys in a fan meeting, you were the most happiest girl.  But you didn’t expect Takuya to fall in love with you! And now the two of you were a happy couple for almost four years.  You quickly noticed that the boys got nervous after Casper left but you did your best to support them and cheer them up.  ,,Guys! I will cook for you! So stop being so sad! Let’s be happy for Casper and hope that he will be well in the future!“ you smiled.  Takuya looked at you and you sent him an air kiss.  His lips formed a little smile which made your heart jump. 

After this their Comeback was there in 2018. You were so happy and couldn’t wait to hear their beautiful voice because even through you were Takuya’s girlfriend, you never asked them for a personal concert or to listen to the music before it went out and they didn’t offer you either.  But you soon noticed that Takuya was somehow down. You observed it for a long time. His smiles seemed fake, he sometimes didn’t laugh at all. He didn’t even talk much.  Was he unhappy because of the relationship or was it the band? Were the boys bad with him? But it seemed fine.... This troubled you a lot until you asked him someday.  ,,Takuya anata...~“ you called his name and looked at him.  ,,Hai?“ he asked you. Gosh you loved his Japanese accent.  ,,Would you tell me what’s wrong with you?“ you asked him.  His eyes grew bigger as he looked at you with a shocked expression.  ,,N....nothing....“ he mumbled.  This was your confirmation that something was wrong.  ,,Well. I won’t force you to tell me but I would be happy if you would. I want to be able to help you and support you. Not only as your girlfriend but also as your fan.“ you told him.  His lips began to tremble, your heart was crushing at the sight, what was wrong?!  ,,Takuya?!“ you snapped and immediately hugged him, pressing his body against yours.  ,,Don’t...!“ you mumbled.  ,,I cannot take it anymore...“ he mumbled which scared you. What couldn’t he take anymore?!  But before you could even ask him he answered your unspoken question.  ,,I love the boys and the fans but I cannot stand it anymore...if feel so empty....I feel like this isn’t what I really want to do. But I don’t know what to say to them....I don’t want to disappoint everyone....“ he confessed, his head still pressed against you.

,,Takuya...you feel like that for a long time, right?“ you asked him.  He nodded and you stroked his trembling back.  ,,Please don’t cry...don‘t be upset please...“ you begged.  You wanted him to feel happy again...why didn’t you see it sooner?  That day the boys had a practice but you called them, begging them to do a break. Shin was on the phone.  ,,Why, Y/N?“ he asked you.  You looked at Takuya who was on the couch in your apartment.  ,,I‘m coming up with a flue and you know, I‘m also about to have my period oh oh oh my cramps-"  ,,Oh Y/N! Please get better soon!!"  You had to chuckle in your mind. You knew that he was embarrassed.  But right now you couldn’t laugh.  You cut the call and approached Takuya again. You hugged him and let him tell everything. Everything he wanted to tell you, you tried to figure out his feelings and tried to support him.  Te two of you talked until evening. Then you decided to cook something good and afterwards you talked more.  ,,Takuya...“ you mumbled after you sobbed for three hours together with him.  ,,I think you should leave the band...“ you mumbled.  He looked at you, his eyes were red, you thought you could hear his heart breaking apart.  ,,Your contract....don’t do it. Stop it if it doesn’t make you happy....real fans will keep supporting you and the members will stay by your side for sure.“ you told him.  And that’s what he did.  He didn’t sign the new contract, told the other members about how he felt and made a Vlive. The notice of his Vlive was a happy notice for the fans. Unfortunately they soon found out that this was his last Vlive. At least his last as Cross Gene‘s Takuya. 

,,Thank you for your support, Y/N...“ he mumbled after you gave him a spam like on his new Instagram Page.  ,,I love you, Takuya. I‘m happy that you feel better and that we could overcome this crisis together.“ you confessed and kissed him once more. 

Masterlist

[fakehappyme]

Only Want You C.H.

A/N: Hi! Since I‘m a loser and no one requested anything, I decided to just request something myself (lmao). While I‘m writing this imagine I will be listening to the song „Only Want You“ by Rita Ora and I‘ll see what happens.

Idk what to think about it, it‘s pretty cheesy and all but I hope you like it :)

Summary: you and calum broke up and have a sad life after the break up and andy makes you two meet again

Word count: 3.078

Warning: cheesy and bad grammar

MASTERLIST

It's been about six months since Calum and you have broken up. You're living in different parts of LA now and slowly build up a new life without each other again. The break up has been a messy one and both of you suffered terribly from it. You needed a lot of time to recover, but neither of you have forgotten the other yet, since you've had something really special. Everybody knew that what you had was nothing ordinary, but something that destiny must've planed. You looked at each other more intense than other couples did and everyone noticed. When you entered the room there was something like a tension in the air that no one could deny.

It all started when you met at Calum's friend Andy's birthday party. You were a close friend of Andy and for a short amount of time you even worked together. Calum and you were standing at the bar ordering a beer at the same time.

„A beer, please!", Calum and you shout at the same time to make the bartender hear your order over the loud music.

„Oh sorry, I didn't want to push in.", you say, giving Calum an apologetic smile.

„How dare you?", he glances at you just to see your surprised face, breaking into laughter shortly after. „I'm joking, it's all good."

„You scared me for a second. I thought you were one of these arrogant people that walk around this party. Like, I haven't met just one nice person yet, that's why I needed this beer real quick. I love Andy but most of his friends are assholes.", you tell Calum, making him laugh even more.

„Well, I just came so I can't relate but I like you, so we could hang out if you like.", he offers.

„Sounds good.", you gladly accept. „I'm (Y/N), by the way."

„Calum.", he answers, shaking your hand.

And this exact moment, was when you first touched the love of your life. For strangers it may seems just like another stupid love story, but for you it was life changing.

You were together for three years. The three best years of your lifes, followed by the worst six months after the break up. There were times when both of you didn't even know why you broke up in the first place and you just wanted to call each other to make up. But one characteristic that your kids would surely have is subbornness, because both of you have it in masses. So you never called each other after that one night, that changed your lifes again.

„What do you mean? I didn't cheat on you, Calum. You know as well as everyone else in this world that I could never cheat on you. Not even if I wanted to. And I don't see why I would want that.", you defend yourself once again. As much as you love each other, as heated are the fights. Fights aren't a rarity in your flat since the jealousy often takes over both of you. It was almost pathetic how often you would fight over something so simple just because you couldn't stand seeing the other one with another person.

„Yeah sure, (Y/N), I'm not stupid. Why would you spend a whole night at Crystal's house after a party and don't even think about calling me? And then Derek posts a pic of you hugging him on instagram? I can count one and one.", Calum hisses. He would never scream at you, even when you fought about stuff like this, you still had the biggest respect for each other.

„You're being ridiculous, Calum. I can't believe you can't trust me and have to accuse me of something like that. I'm sorry that he posted that pic, but we're not even that close on it.", you argue, pointing at the big space between yourself and Derek on the picture to proof your point. „I don't understand what kind of drug makes you fantasize shit like this, but I recommend you to stop taking it. You can call Crystal and Derek and ask them about last night, but I'm out."

„Maybe you should.", he says as calm as you had never heared his voice. Your fights were always intense, but it has never been this bad. This time it fully escalated.

„Okay, I'm packing my bags and I'll be gone in a few hours, don't worry, you'll probably never have to see my cheater-face again."

These were one of the last words said in your relationship. This time he didn't stop you. This time you didn't exaggerate.

None of your friends could believe it when you were telling them. It was Calum and (Y/N), you got through the worst of times together and now you were breaking up over something so stupid. Nobody could tell what was different this time. Maybe you were just exhausted from the many fights you've had over the last few weeks. It was always the same. You couldn't stand seeing each other with someone else. But how could this obsession break you apart, when you should be glued to each other? When you couldn't live without each other? Maybe that was the point. You couldn't live without each other.

For weeks after the break up you didn't leave your apartments. Calum went to the Studio and back home again, he skipped every party he was invited to and called in sick every single day he wasn't desperately needed on. You even quit your job, where you worked with Andy. You couldn't take being reminded of Calum through his friend and Andy constantly trying to cheer you up. But it wasn't so easy thinking about something else when you need to edit photos of your ex-boyfriend. You knew he had the best intentions, but working on 5sos stuff with Andy after the break-up was simply impossible for you. Before the break-up it seemed like a hobby, editing posters, pictures and videos of your boyfriend and his band with your best friend, but now seeing Calum hurt your eyes. Not because you hated him, but because you missed him so much and seeing and not being able to talk to him caused you endless pain.

It took you a few weeks to find a new job in a little photo-shop a few blocks from her apartment. At first you were living with Crystal, but you didn't want to disturb Michael and her living there, even though she said it was okay. But it was better for everyone. Michael reminded you of Calum, too. Everything did. Even breathing sometimes reminded you of Calum, so you were in desperate need to cut everything out of your life that really reminded you of him, even though it broke your heart. You loved Crystal, the band, Andy and everything around them. But Calum and you was history. A sad beautiful tragic love story.

The hurt soon was unbearable so the both of you tried everything to mend it by looking for someone else. You tried everything. Partying and wearing the shortest dresses, even sleeping with others, but none of it worked. They weren't Calum and none of them could ever replace him. Little did you know the girls Calum slept with couldn't replace you either.

The photo-shop you worked at now was really small and barely anyone knew about it. Sometimes you had to take passport photos or application photos of people or you advised people on what camera or what lenses to buy. It wasn't that you minded working there, but you just didn't feel like you belonged there. It was almost like you didn't belong into the life you were living. Without your dream job, without your friends, without Calum. They took your life with them and you needed to get it back.

After two months of working there you were on a good way. You made friends with your new co-worker, Sandra, and you actually managed to not think about your past life as much as you did before. You even unpacked some of the boxes in your apartment, that you hadn't touched since you moved out of your apartment with Calum.

It was almost like you got a piece of your life back and you could finally breathe again.

You could breathe, until one day, after these long six months of trying to recover, when you were working your shift in the shop and suddenly Andy walked in. You felt your body tense up and you felt like crying again. It was like everything you worked so hard for was gone.

He looked at you and froze. Did he not know that you worked here? At the same time he looked like something would finally make sense to him. „(Y/N)?", Andy asked. „Is that really you? I haven't seen you in like.. two months?"

You just nodded. You felt like your voice would break if you tried to speak, so you didn't.

„How are you?", he spoke softly as he came closer to you and saw how much you were fighting the tears.

„I..", you started. „I think I am okay.", you said but it sounded more like a question. „You?"

You didn't really want to talk about yourself, because you felt like crying while you did and something told you he noticed, cause he just nodded.

„A little stressed out. I'm planning my birthday party next week and I was actually looking for a lens for my photo-box camera. I was told this shop here had an very professional advisor so I thought coming here was worth a try. They even mentioned your name but I didn't know it was you, but know that I know it's you I'm surprised I didn't think about it."

You smiled, you felt pretty honored that someone would talk about you like that. It didn't appear to you as if people were really thrilled about the shop when they left, but apparently they were good actors.

„You should come.", he said.

„What? Oh, I don't know if that's a good idea..", you tried to stop him.

„(Y/N), please. All of us are missing you so much. We know you and Calum both had a rough time in the last months but it would mean a lot to me. And I know that the other's would love to see you again. We feel like we lost you.", he tries to persuade you while picking out a lens out of the cupboard and placing it on the counter.

„I miss you too, it's just.. it's just that I'm scared to see Calum. It's been so hard and sometimes I really don't know how I can live another day without Calum or any of you guys. But Calum probably doesn't feel the same way, so I need to distance myself or I will be stuck in this misery forever. It's too hard, I'm sorry.", you said a tear rolling down your face, quickly wiping it away with the back of your hand.

„You two are unbelievable, honestly. Instead of calling each other you two would rather suffer in pain forever. How can loving people be so blind?", he asked, handing you the money for the lens after you packed it into a bag. „I know it's hard but you really should come. Maybe you will be able to finish with all of this drama. I'm not going to force you, it's your decision but I really want you to come. Friday, 8pm, my flat.", he told you just before he left the shop. „See ya."

You couldn't think about anything else all week. Your head hurt from constantly thinking the same shit over and over again. „Should I go or not?"

On Friday you felt as if you were in a trance. The hours just passed by and suddenly you found herself in front of Andy's door. You put on you favorite dress, but you didn't feel as good in it as you usually do. The occasion made you feel insecure and weak.

You swallowed the lump in her throat and opened the door.

Loads of people were already there and you felt like everyone was staring at you when you entered, even though no one was even looking at you. You made your way through the crowd and tried to find Andy but you couldn't spot him anywhere, so you decided to get a much needed drink at the bar. „A beer.", you heard herself say and smiled a little at the thought of when you first met Calum at this exact spot, just to find the knife in your heart, knowing he's not yours anymore.

You turned around to see Andy and already want to go over to him when you see Calum standing right next to him. You held on to the beer in your hand when your feet were carrying her to the door, trying to sneak out without anyone seeing you.

„(Y/N),", you heard Andy calling after you but you didn't stop walking towards the door. You couldn't stop. You needed to get away. How could you even think about coming here? What did you even think? You thought it wouldn't hurt?

You slammed the door behind your back and ran down the stairs, hearing how someone opened the door again. „(Y/N), wait!", you heard someone call, but this time it wasn't Andy. It was Calum. Your motions instantly froze and you had to try hard not to fall down the stairs. You felt drunk even though the beer in your hand was still full.

You turned around to find Calum standing directly behind you. His scent already filling your nose, his presence fully hypnotizing you. „I.. I am so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I am leaving now.", you said, handing him the beer, turning around again but he grabbed you by the hand.

„No, please. I've been waiting too long for this to happen. To see you. I can't believe what a dumb fucker I was to let you go and not even trying to get you back. My life was so empty without you and I could barely live a second without thinking about you. I know it sounds stupid and maybe you don't believe me, but it's true. I love you, (Y/N), still and I always will. I'm so sorry for everything."

You felt your heart break at the thought of Calum feeling the same way you did all along. That's probably what Andy meant when he said that both of you were blind. Blind and stubborn.

„I am sorry too. I could've called you, but I was too hurt that you could think I would cheat on you, when you're the only one I could ever love, Calum. I can't love anyone else but you, can you please believe me this time?", you choked on your own words, crying. You didn't know that the fact, that Calum didn't believe you how much you loved him, hurt you so much. You could never actually proof him how much you loved him. You had to trust, that he believes and he didn't. But now that would hopefully change.

„I'm so sorry that I made you believe that it was your fault. It was me who ruined everything. I believe you now. I should have all along, (Y/N). I was so scared you could love someone else, that I forgot how much you love me. And when you were gone I was going insane. I slept with other girls that looked like you just to leave them alone in their beds in the morning to walk to your little shop that your working at. I know how that sounds, it's like I'm a psychopath but I couldn't help it. I just needed to see you, but after you even quit your job with Andy I was scared you didn't want to see me again. But being away from you only taught me that I don't want somebody like you, I only want you, (Y/N).", he said, a tear rolling down his face.

You looked at him in shock. How often have you dreamed about seeing Calum outside of your shop, when it was a quiet day, hoping he would come in and talk to you. The fact that he probably was the one to tell Andy about the shop blew your mind. Even though he kind of was a creepy stalker you couldn't help but laugh hysterically at how absolutely stupid the both of you were.

„Why are you laughing?", he asked a little confused.

„We are so stupid, Calum.", you said wiping the tear from his cheeks, leaning a little closer to him. „I did the same shit.", you admit. „Well, except the creepy stalking. But there wasn't a day where I wasn't hoping you'd call me or come into the shop. I was so sick of wearing these mini-dresses to impress all of these boys who just caused me problems and I hated every number I had in my phone when the one number I wanted to blow up my phone was yours. I don't want to spend another night trying to find another you. Never again.", you said closing your eyes to let the past weeks flash back through your head. All of the pain you had been in, all of these boys that meant absolutely nothing to you were now history. You guessed you had to leave him just to know how much you needed him. As you opened your eyes you couldn't hold yourself back anymore and kiss his plump lips that you missed for so long.

After the kiss and a following make out session you two decided to leave the party you barely attended. Calum still holding the beer in his hands, taking a sip. „Man I could need something stronger after that conversation.", he laughed.

„Me too. But I'm scared the stalker I'm with will kidnap me, I gotta be careful.", you said very happy you two could tease each other already again. It was almost like you were never apart.

„Well, watch me.", he laughed and lifted you up off the ground, carrying you home to the apartment you belong to. The one that you and Calum live in from now on.

[creativecandyarmy-blog]

It’s Okay, We’re Young

Every year in the middle of summer my mom organized a huge banquet to which she invited all our family, her friends and the whole neighbourhood. There was always a huge barbeque and more kinds of salad than bones in a human body. It was always fun and since I missed the party last year because I moved to South Korea and didn’t manage to come l was super excited this year especially because I got to introduce my boyfriend Jiyong to my family. We’d been in a relantionship for about half a year but my family hadn’t had the chance to meet him, well, since I was living on the other side of the globe. Luckily he had to travel near my home town for a performance in a city four hours away from my parents home and was fine with driving me there and bringing me back in the middle of the night if necessary. I was sure they would love him because they always asked if I finally found someone that makes me happy. Oh boy, was I wrong.

„Tell him to leave.“

„Mom!“, I protested. „I told you I would bring my boyfriend with me! At least give him a chance. He brought me the four hours drive here and he‘s willing bring me back home in the middle of the night if I don’t want to stay here. You never met him before and you haven’t even talked to him. What has he done to you that you‘re acting like this?“

„You shouldn’t have brought him, he doesn’t belong here.“

I scoffed. „Just because he’s a rapper and not a lawyer or a doctor like you and your friends? You gotta be kidding me! Who always told me to do what I want and to follow my dreams? Like this is what he’s doing and what I am doing, still you’re judging him. And I thought you would be happy if I find someone that cares about me and makes me happy!“

„You’re mom’s right.“, my father chipped in. „He looks suspicious and not decent at all with all the tattoos and his baggy clothes. You’re too good for him. You’re going to work as a programmer in a decent company and all he is going to do is get drunk, high and cheat on you while he is on tour and taking advantage of the money you worked so hard for.“

I shook my head in disbelief. „If you’re really acting like this and if you really want him to leave than fine, he’s going to leave. But I will leave with him.“

„Fine.“, my mom gave in – obviously just because she didn’t want her daughter to miss her summer party. „He can stay but sure as hell he is not going to stay over night.“ She was about to walk away as she turned around an added „And make sure he behaves.“

„He’s not an animal, Mom!“

With that she walked away, my dad following her. I felt like crying. My parents were always open minded and never judged too fast. Well, at least that’s what I thought before I visited my mom and brought my boyfriend Jiyong with me. As soon as they opened the door they eyed him up and asked who he was with voice full of wariness and when I introduced him as my boyfriend they didn’t even try to hide their disgust before telling me five minutes later to kick him out. I sighed and whiped away the single tear that escaped the corner of my eye.

„Seems like Mom and Dad don’t like him.“ I glanced up at my older brother Ryder with darting eyes. „I’m not helpful, I know and I’m sorry. But I’m pretty sure he‘s a nice guy. I mean, he‘s your boyfriend after all and I’m sure you’re able to make the right decisions. Just remember why you decided to date him. And you know that Dale, Kyle and I will always have your back, right?“ He ruffled through my hair slightly.

I nodded. „Thanks, Ryder. This means a lot to me. Oh, what about your girlfriend? Where is Amanda by the way?

„She is on duty, you know the struggle with dating a nurse. But she is happy, she isn’t complaining and she got the next few days off so we will spent some time together. I booked a small trip to New York as a surprise for her. Oh, I gotta go, seems like Uncle Terry is about to burn all the meat – can’t he at least burn the corncobs?“ He gave me an encouraging pat on my shoulder and jogged over to our uncle who was trying to turn down the grill.

I laughed a little at the scene as two arms wrapped around my waist and a chin rested on my shoulder. „They hate me, don’t they?“ I looked over my shoulder at my boyfriend Jiyong, guilt written all over my face. „It’s okay, it’s not your fault. I’m used to it, pretty much all parents of all my exes didn’t approve of me. All of them said I wasn’t trustworthy, I would cheat on them and I had no manners and no future. In the beginning it hurt but now I don’t let things like this bother me anymore.“

„I’m sorry to hear that.“ Even though he seemed to be serious about him not caring anymore I felt sad for him. He was so nice and despite his tough image and outer appearence he was so warm and caring on the inside.

„Nah, as long as I have you everything is fine by me.“

He laughed as I rolled my eyes in response to his cheesiness.“You really are a slimeball sometimes.“

„Yes, but I’m your slimeball. How about I get us some food and you save us two seats on the terrace?“

I couldn’t help the smile that spread on my lips. „Cheeseball. But yeah, sure.“ He gave me a light kiss on the cheek and left. Shyly I covered my burning cheeks. Little things like this still made me blush, even after six month being in a relationship with him.

Outside the terrace was covered in small round tables each with five chairs to make it easy to talk. Luckily all the tables outside were empty so I chose two seats at a table as far from the door away as possible because I didn’t want to sit in the entrance where all the people would walk past me. It seemed as I would stay here alone for a few more minutes so I decided to grab a drink for Jiyong  and me. I was taking a sip from my pinacolada as my other older brother Kyle took a seat at the same table. Two minutes later Jiyong and Ryder walked to our table. Jiyong walked around the table, past the empty seat Kyle left between him and me, as Kyle started talking.

„Hey! Where do you think you are going?“ His voice sounded serious like the big brother examing the little sister‘s boyfriend (well, that’s practically what it was).

Jiyong jumped a little as Kyle called him out. He turned around to him and looked at my older brother pretty confused. „Sorry?“, he asked a little cowed. Considering that Kyle was pretty tall and muscular and what had happened before it was understandable that he stayed quiet and didn’t shout at him like he would normally at people who talked to him like this.

Suddenly Kyle started grinnig. „I’m just kidding, sorry. It’s just I wanted you to take the seat next to me. I‘m interested on talking to you – on a matey base. I don’t bite, I just enjoy frighten my little sisters new boyfriend sometimes.“

„Kyle“, I interrupted him in a warning tone while Jiyong dared to take the seat between us and Ryder sat next to me. „That’s not funny. Well, not this time. Mom and Dad hate him. And no, this is no payback joke. They told me to kick him out before.“

His jay dropped in disbelief. „You’re not kidding?“ I shook my head. „Why? They just met him, I guess he hasn’t even had the chance to talk to them and introduce himself in a proper way, right?“ Once again I shook my head. „I can’t believe this. Why?“

„Mom and Dad said he doesn’t belong here and that he looks suspicious. Mom even told me to make sure he behaves! I don’t think you can talk to them.“

 The hourse went by and as it got darker and darker most of the guests left until only my brothers, my parents, Jiyong and I were left. My older brothers, Jiyong and I sat outside on the sofas in the garden and Dale helped Mom and Dad out in the kitchen. The three sofas stood in a triangle with one corner a little open and a small coffee table in the middle to make it easier to talk to each other. It was truely a relief that at least my older brothers got along with Jiyong so well. Within the last few hours it was kinda hard for me to talk to my own boyfriend because they were constantly hogging him. It made me happy to see them laugh together especially because my parents treated him so repellently. And at least they let me cuddle with him what helped at least a bit keeping me from freezing. But apparently not enough.

A few minutes ago Dale joined us and we were listening to Ryder telling a story from his last vacation with his girlfriend as Jiyong’s fingers were grazing absent over my forearm when he suddenly paused and stood up. A few minutes later he came back with the blanket he always kept in his car and put it around my shoulders and over my legs. „You know you can talk to me when you’re cold, right?“, he mumbled on my temple before giving me a light kiss after he setteld himself back next to me putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer to him.

„I didn’t want to interrupt your conversation.“, I mumbled a little tired. „I’m happy that you get along with them so well.“

I heard Kyle snorting from the other sofa. „I’m going to puke if you two are going to be like this.“ But it was obvious that he was just joking because he could hold back the smile on his face for a long time. „This makes me wonder. How did you two met and when did you know you like each other?“

I laughed. „Are you sure you want to hear it? You’re going to puke because it’s so slushy.“ As he shrugged his shoulders I began to tell. „Okay, so you know my friend Matt, right? He is a good friend of Jiyong’s best friend and one day Matt invited me to a performance Jiyong and his friends were giving at a club in our neighbourhood. It was really nice and there was this one guy that caught my ey–“

„Seriously?!“ Kyle chipped in. „Don’t you think this is too cliche?“

„Shut up.“ Ryder said with a big smile on his face. „I feel like she’s not talking about him.“

I couldn’t hold back the little laugh. „Well, honestly indeed it wasn’t Jiyong who caught my eye.“

Jiyong gasped. „Are you telling me originally you were interested in one of my friends?“ I nodded. „Okay, I’m fine with everyone as long as it wasn’t Dongheon. Please tell me you’re not talking about him.“ As he smiled at him apologetic he whinced. „Really? That douchebag? Make sure he never get’s to know you noticed him first.“, he snarled.

„I’m sorry.“ I smiled at him and took his hand in mine to draw small circles on the back of his hand. „Anyways. After the performance I stayed a little longer at the club to grab a few drinks and keep Matt up to date about my life since we hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks. Unfortunately he had to leave pretty soon apologizing a thounsand times and asking me another thousand times if it was really fine by me if I had to go home alone because he couldn’t bring me. But it wasn’t my lucky day. Even though I walked home so many times on my own and never anything happened I didn’t expect something to happen this night. But as soon as I left the club and walked a few meters a drunk man with a broken bottle grabbed my arm and tried to pull me into a dark alleyway. I tried to escape him but he managed to cut my arm with the bottle. It was deep and hurt like hell so I wasn’t strong enough to free myself. I screamed and apparently Jiyong heard it because a few seconds later he came around the corner and pulled that guy away from me. He saw the blood streaming out of the wound and brought me into his appartement which happened to be above the club. And as he took care of my wound I got to observe him a little closer. His eyes were big, round and the dark brown fascinated me. He seemed familiar but I coulnd’t pinpoint why at first until it clicked. I remembered seeing him performing on the stage with Matt’s friend. He insisted on bringing me home and as a thank you I offered him drinking a coffee with him. He accepted but suggested some drinks instead of coffee. That’s how we started seeing each other more often and finally dating.“ I really couldn’t help the smile that crept on my lips while telling this story.

„Wow!“, my older brothers echoed. „This is freaking cheesy.“, Ryder added, what made us all laugh.

„Jiyong?“, my younger brother spoke up timidly after a moment of silence. He spent most the whole time with the other guests seemingly trying to keep a distance from him so he hadn’t talked to him yet. He was the youngest and six years younger than me and eleven or rather thirteen years younger than my other brothers what made it sometimes a little complicated to connect on a mental level. Or maybe my mom even told him to stay away from Jiyong. „Can I ask you something as well?“ He was obviously insecure but at least he talked to Jiyong which meant the impression Jiyong made couldn’t be that bad.

He smiled at him. „You already did.“ As soon as he noticed the irritated look on his face he turned serious. „I’m sorry. Yeah, sure, go ahead.“

„When did you know what you wanted to do in your life? Like when did you know you wanted to become a rapper?“

He sighed lightly. „Hard to tell. I always enjoyed music and especially rapping and I wanted to get a job in this business but my chances were low so I decided to go to university and get a major to have an assureance in case I wouldn’t get to be a rapper. I majored in math and computer science and built up a reputation as an underground rapper besides. Fortunately my dream came true and I became a rapper. Why do you ask?“

„I started studying math, I’m in the second semester now and I’m not sure if I made the right decision. Honestly I feel like I failed, my big brothers and my big sister all knew what they wanted to study and they didn’t doubt it once but I’m struggeling.“

He smiled at him encouragingly. „It’s okay to struggle, it’s okay to make the wrong decisions and it’s okay to fail. You’re ninteen years old, right?“ Dale nodded. „Nobody can expect you to know what you want to do for the rest of your life. Even your siblings or I might change our minds someday and might wanna do something totally different. It’s okay, we’re still young. And if you need help with studying you can call me and maybe I can help you.“ He laughed a little.

 We talked until the next morning and as the hours passed by I noticed my younger brother growing warmer and warmer towards Jiyong as well. The sun was already rising when Jiyong went to get the car to bring us home. I stood in the doorframe talking to my mom as I waited for him. He drove infront of my parents‘ ramp and took the blanket out of my hands to place it bank in the trunk as we heard Kyle calling from the inside. „Jiyong! Is that your beer left on the table?“

„No, I didn’t drink. I’m the driver, you remember?“, he answered.

„I’m sorry, honey.“, my mom said. „I guess we misjudged him. He’s nice and he truly cares about you.“ She smiled warmly. „And he looks the same way at you, your dad looks at me.“

I smiled at her. „Thanks, Mom. This means a lot to me.“

[goldennstyles]

Life Without You (Part Two)

Summary: In which Harry doesn’t think before he speaks, and (Y/N) is tired.

Warnings: angst, cursing

Word Count: 4.6k

Part One 

Masterlist

As Harry and Niall sat across from each other in Harry’s living room, there was an uncomfortable silence. The tension could be felt by both and was only growing as time passed. From the moment that Harry had called, Niall knew that something was up, and he had wished that he was better at hiding his emotions. His eyes darted everywhere around the room, completely avoiding meeting Harry’s intense gaze. Niall’s leg bounced up and down as a way for him to calm his nerves. He could tell that Harry was upset; he was fuming. Niall couldn’t help but to notice the way that Harry’s breathing was uneven, how he kept clenching his fists, clear indications of his mood. It was obvious Niall already knew why Harry had demanded he come over so urgently- he had kept a very big secret hidden from him.

“When were you going to tell me?” Harry asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Tell you what, mate?” Niall responded, trying to play it cool.

“Don’t play stupid with me, Niall. You know exactly what I‘m talking about. When were you going to tell me that (Y/N) moved to America?” Harry was losing his patience, and Niall knew that it wouldn’t be smart to keep pressing the matter.

“It wasn’t my place to say anything. She made it clear that she wasn’t changing her mind on leaving. Plus, you were still wit Megan when she moved, didn’t think you would care to be honest.”

“Are you being serious right now? You know more than anyone that I will always care about (Y/N), doesn’t matter who I‘m with.” Harry growled, gritting his teeth as he tried to contain his anger.

“I‘m sorry, Harry, but I only did it because she said she didn’t want you to know. I couldn’t go behind her back like that, you understand that right?” Harry felt his heart nearly stop when he had heard this. She didn’t want him to know? It was now clear as day that (Y/N) wanted nothing to do with him, when all he wanted to do was to have her back in his life.

“Yeah, I get it. Would‘ve done the same thing. It‘s just weird how she didn’t tell me you know? I thought she wanted to be friends or something.” Harry admitted. His anger had dissolved, and now all he had felt was sadness. He had hoped that one day maybe you and him could start over and be friends or at least civil with each other.

“Who knows. Maybe she doesn’t wan’ to talk to you right now. Or maybe she doesn’t want to be friends.” Niall told Harry, trying not to sound too harsh about the possibility of (Y/N) not wanting to speak to him again.

“Suppose so.” Harry said, sounding completely defeated. He was done talking about you, and he wanted to get off his mind, “Man, It‘s trip is going be a disaster, innit?”

“It won’t be. Don’t worry, Harry, it’ll be fine.” As much as Harry wanted to believe Niall, he could shake the bad feeling he had in his stomach.

-

San Francisco was absolutely amazing. You felt like an entirely new person. No stress, no worries, and most importantly, no Harry. Life was easy here. You enjoyed living alone in a small apartment not too far from the beach. You enjoyed the beautiful weather as opposed to the cold you were used to living in London for a large majority of your adult life. You enjoyed that there was enough to distract you from thinking about Harry.

You’d asked Niall to let him know that you were moving away, hoping that he would want to at least say goodbye. However, you were only given disappointment as Niall told you Harry said he didn’t care that you were leaving.

At first, you were hurt by what Harry told Niall. It hurt that he didn’t even want to see or talk to you again, but you could understand. You weren’t even talking to each other. Of course he wouldn’t care if you were moving away. You decided to stop trying to fix something that was broken beyond repair and to finally let Harry go. Although, he was acting totally out of character for the Harry that you once knew and loved, and you couldn’t help but to think that something wasn’t right.

-

It had been about four months since your move, and you were really enjoying your new life. You’d made sure to keep in touch with Niall and the other boys. It was nice to know that they still cared about you despite everything that had happened, and they were adamant on making sure you knew that they were here for you. A gesture that was greatly appreciated but entirely unnecessary.

As great as life was, it all changed when the boys had told you that they were coming to visit in two weeks. They said that they missed spending time with you, and they were in need of a holiday. Whenever you had asked if Harry would be coming too, they would completely avoid the question and change the subject. That was enough of an answer for you.

You began to lose your mind upon learning that Harry would also be in attendance while the boys were visiting. You were coming up with a thousand different questions that were all left unanswered. Was he married now? Was he going to bring Megan with him?

As the days came and gone, it got closer to the day where the boys were supposed to fly in. And as the day neared, your anxiety about facing Harry only grew with it.

-

“Don’t worry, (Y/N). Everything will be fine, promise.”  You were currently one the phone with Louis, telling him all about your worries surrounding their visit. You weren’t sure how to act around Harry or how he would act around you. You didn’t know if you should pretend nothing happened and be friendly or if you should ignore him.

“I can’t help it, Lou. I mean, Harry’s always been so nice. I just thought that he would at least want to say bye to me. It didn’t even have to be in person, a text would’ve been fine. He’s completely changed from when we were together, it’s weird.” You were still bothered at the fact that Harry didn’t care that you were moving. It was just something that you never thought would happen. He’s always been the person who was mature, polite, and kind beyond belief. So the fact that he felt that he didn’t have to say bye to someone who he once considered a lover, and before that a friend, was peculiar.

“People change, love. And sometimes it isn’t the best, but maybe he just thinks it‘s awkward between you two? I mean there‘s a lot of history there. I bet it‘s hard for him to pretend it isn’t there.”

“That’s exactly my point though. Shouldn’t he want to get some closure because of our history? We haven’t really had a decent conversation since I came to get my things from his apartment. Even then, that was almost three years ago, and that definitely didn’t go as planned.”

“I don’t know, (Y/N). I really wish I did, but I haven’t got a clue what’s going through his mind.”

-

It had been a week since you had officially called things off between you and Harry, and you thought that it was time to come and get the rest of the things you had at his place. Because you’d purposely given him a couple days to think everything over and to calm down, you hoped that this entire situation would be more civil than your last encounter with him.

You had shot him a quick text telling him that you were coming over, only to receive a notification showing that he had seen your message, but there was no reply. 

Over the course of the last week, you had slowly built the courage to face him and to talk again, which landed you where you were right now. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t even a little nervous, but you shook the feeling aside, and put on your bravest face. As you opened the front door with your key, you wanted nothing more than for Harry not to be home. If this were the case, you would be able to avoid having another screaming match with him, the last thing you wanted.

However, this hope was broken once you saw Harry standing in the middle of his kitchen, fully dressed, looking like he was just about to leave. 

“Didn’t think you’d be home.” You admitted, hoping that this conversation would be kept to a bare minimum, “I’ll be quick, don’t worry.” You began to walk out of the kitchen, making your way towards the stairs and into his bedroom, realizing quickly that you were still not ready to face Harry. 

Before you even started to walk up the stairs, Harry had stopped you, “Wait, (Y/N). Can we talk about it? I think I need some closure.” Harry stated, lightly grasping your wrist to keep you from walking away from him for the second time.

You avoided keeping eye contact with Harry and instead kept your gaze locked onto where he held your wrist in his much larger hand. You thought that a week was enough time apart, and you believed that you would be ready to talk to Harry. Although, you now know that you were definitely wrong. The moment you had set your eyes onto him, everything from that night had came rushing back. Seeing Harry this soon and having him touch you only added salt to the still very fresh wound.  

”You can talk while I pack up.” You say, practically in a whisper, “I don’t have anything to say to you at the moment.”  You wished that you had the courage to look at him while you talked, but it was just too hard to face the reality of the situation. This was the end of a chapter that you’d both hoped would never end.

”What do you mean you don’t have anything to say?” 

”What I mean is, there is nothing left for me to say to you, Harry. I said everything I wanted to say that night, and it changed nothing. So why would me repeating the same thing over again change anything now?” Your emotions were getting the best of you. Your voice cracked, and you tried your hardest to keep your emotions at bay. You felt weak, not even attempting to get Harry’s grip off of your wrist. All you felt was sadness, but under that sadness you felt anger. Pent up anger that was finally coming out.  

 “We‘ve both had time to think things over, and this time I really am ready to listen to you. Had some time to calm down too, yeah? If you don’t want to talk to me then that‘s fine. I just want to say what’s been on my mind.” The desperation in his voice was obvious. Even though you weren’t looking at his eyes, you knew that they were pleading you to at least hear him out. 

With a sigh in defeat, you agreed, “Fine, but don’t expect anything else except for talking. I’m not going to get back with you just because you suddenly want to talk about our relationship.”  You retorted, finally looking him in the eyes. His face fell slightly at your response, but he reluctantly nodded his head in agreement.

 As you both made your way to his bedroom, it was silent. Harry was obviously hesitant to talk to you, but you couldn’t figure out why. You weren’t sure if it was because he was still gathering his thoughts or if it was because he genuinely didn’t know what to say despite telling you that he had a lot he wanted to tell. However, you chose to ignore it, enjoying the silence because you knew that it wouldn’t last once you both started to talk.

The first few minutes of you packing up the remainder of your clothes and other belongings remained the same. Silence. All Harry seemed to be able to do was watch you gather your things from his position seated at the end of his bed. He wanted to tell you everything that had been on his mind for the last couple of months, especially the last week, but he had no clue how or where to start. His mind was working a million miles a second, and Harry couldn’t even process the whole situation. 

“Look, I know it‘s hard to be talking to each other right now, but I just wanted to say that I‘m sorry for being a proper dickhead to you that night.” He felt that the best way to start was to apologize because he knew that the most important thing was for you to understand how sorry he was for putting you in this position.

”Harry, I’m just confused. I thought that marriage would be a topic we could talk about, but apparently, I was being delusional and presumptuous.” 

”I know, love. I know. I still don’t quite know what I was thinking that night. Should’ve told you how I felt about marriage in the beginning, but I didn’t and I‘m sorry for leading you on like that.” There was a long pause after Harry had finished apologizing to you. You had thought that he had more to say than just that he was sorry. An explanation maybe?

”Is that all you have to say? You told me that you wanted to tell me everything that was on your mind, so all you were thinking about was a half assed apology?” You were seething at him. Yet again he had failed to explain his feelings to you, even when you had given him the chance to do so. His eyes dropped to the floor, unable to keep eye contact with you. He was ashamed that this was all he had to say to you. Even when there were thousands of things running through his head about what he could say, none of them came out.

“I’ve got to go, but if you want to talk about this when you’ve had more time to think, call me, okay?” You softly spoke, calming yourself as you got closer to him. Harry still couldn’t meet your eyes as you talked to him. You stood there for a little while just staring at him, wanting nothing more than for him to stop you from leaving and to give you an explanation. That, however, did not happen. With yet another sigh, you said goodbye and left. 

That day you walked out of Harry’s house hoping that one day he would call to tell you that he was finally ready to talk about your relationship, but he never did. 

-

The day that the boys were supposed to arrive in California had finally come. You had told them your address as they were eager to see you the moment that they landed. There was still an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach, knowing that you had to see Harry again in mere hours.

You spent the entire day trying to occupying your mind. You vacuumed your house, cleaned all your bathrooms, mopped the floors, and dusted nearly every surface in your apartment. Unfortunately for you, nothing you did seemed to work. All you could seem to think about was Harry. He was making you a ball of nerves, and you hated that he still had control over you.

After all of your pointless cleaning, you plopped down onto your couch and relaxed for a little while before the boys arrived. It was odd to think that Harry would even want to come when he knew that the boys wanted to spend time with you. You had come to the conclusion that he would be spending his time elsewhere, with his other friends in and around the area. That would mean that you would only have to see him for one day, when they arrived. You just wished that day wasn’t this one.

Sometimes you wished that you and Harry never dated in the first place.

-

You didn’t realized that you had fallen asleep until you were awoken by pounding on your front door. As you made your way to the door, you rubbed your eyes, trying to wake yourself up.

“(Y/N), love, we’re here! Open the door before I break it down.” Niall yelled, sounding slightly muffled as a result of the door. You could hear the other boys giggling at Niall’s comment, and you couldn’t help but to roll your eyes at them.

The moment you opened the door, you were engulfed into a hug by Niall. “Good to see you, lovely.” Niall said, as he gave you a tight squeeze.

“I’m glad you guys are here. I missed you.”

You could feel a pair of eyes practically burning holes in your head with their intense stare. It was obvious who this was, and you did everything you could to avoid making eye contact. However, you couldn’t help but to notice that a certain girl was not present. She wasn’t holding his hand or cuddling into his side, so where was she? Pulling away from your embrace with Niall, you continued to hug each of the boys one by one, inviting them inside.

Harry stood behind the rest of boys, looking awkwardly at the floor, shifting from one foot to another, suddenly stopping his gaze on you. When it was finally just him standing outside of your apartment, he looked up at you and gave a shy smile. A wave of relief rushed over your body as you realized that he was being friendly. Deciding to return the favor, you gave a genuine smile back and motioned for him to come inside.

You led the boys to your living room where you were previously taking a nap. “Are you guys hungry? Thirsty? I can get you something if you want.” You offered, trying to make them as comfortable as possible.

“Just a couple of waters will do, love. Anything you want to give to us is fine.” Niall said, giving you a smile.

“I’ll help you.” Harry spoke, swiftly arising from his spot situated on the couch. You didn’t feel like being rude to him, so you simply gave a short nod of your head and made your way into the kitchen, Harry following closely behind.

“How’ve you been?” Harry started, as he helped you gather a variety of different snacks and water bottles for all the boys.

“Good, stressed, but good. What about you?”

“It‘s good. I‘m doing well, thank you.” After that, there was a bit of awkward silence as both of you didn’t know what to say. All you could do was pass Harry the food while he made a pile of everything you had given to him on your counter.

Gathering all of the food and water bottles, you started to make your way back to the other boys. However, Harry had other plans as he began to speak again. “Hey, can we talk?” Harry asked you, a slight nervousness detected in his voice.

“We can talk in the living room.” You responding, already feeling the nerves and anxiety start to build up.

“Boys, could you give Harry and I a minute, please?” You requested once you both had gotten to the living room and placed everything on the table.. The boys nodded their heads and got up to give you and Harry the space you asked for. As they left, they gave you reassuring smiles and gave your hand a quick squeeze.

“We’ll go for a walk around the block. Text one of us when you’re done, alright?” Louis softly spoke to you. You shook your head at him, not feeling like talking. The boys gave you both one last look before they shut the door and left.

And once again, you were left alone with Harry.

-

You and Harry sat at opposite ends of the couch, staring straight ahead at the wall in front of the two of you. The tension in the room was quite prominent, and it was making you both fairly uncomfortable. There were so many words that could have and needed to be spoken between the two of you, yet all you could do was sit there in silence as you did all those years before.

“Where’s Megan?” You started off, trying to refrain the inevitable conversation.

“Doesn’t matter where she is.” Harry quietly replied. He seemed to be out of it, as if he had no energy at all, and this wasn’t because he had just gotten off a series of long plane rides. No, this was an emotional toll that Harry held with him on his back. One much bigger than you could ever understand. His response, although, confused you beyond belief. Why didn’t he want you to know where she was? “I won’t tell you considering we aren’t friends.”

“Oh,” you say, a little surprised at his quick change of mood, “Well, I thought we could start over some day, but if that’s what you want then okay.”

“You wanted to start over?” Harry let out a humorous laugh, “I doubt that, (Y/N). If you wanted to start over with me, you would’ve told me you were moving away.”

“Harry, that doesn’t make any sense. Me telling you about me moving would not signify us starting over. It’s more like us ending.” You were so upset at the tone he was using with you that you didn’t actually think about what he was saying. If you did, you would’ve realized that what he was saying was entirely wrong. You did tell him about your move.

If you had taken a second to stop and process everything Harry was telling you, you would’ve realized that there was something wrong. You would’ve gotten answers to why he didn’t say goodbye to you before you left London. You would’ve learned that none of this was his fault, that he wasn’t as bad as you had cut him out to be, and that he was still the same Harry you knew. You would’ve learned that you had both been lied to, played, by one of your closest friends. But of course, you didn’t. You didn’t stop to think about anything but your anger towards him that had been building up inside you for years.

“No, you’ve got it all wrong. It would’ve done something for our relationship, our friendship, but no you were so eager to get away from me you didn’t even think about your actions before you did it.” By now, you were both standing on opposite sides of the room, facing each other. Your voices had turned as loud as they did that night as you both desperately tried to get your point across to the other.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You know what’s funny? All those years ago you told me that I had lost my mind for thinking that you would want to get married, but now, you’re the one that has lost their mind. Let me ask you this, Harry. What would you have done had you known about me leaving? Would you have came running to my apartment, begging me to stay? Would you have come over to congratulate me and helped me pack my things? Would you have tried to fix something that can’t be fixed with one simple conversation? What would you have done that was so monumental that you’re so upset about this?” You rambled, throwing up your hands to make ridiculous gestures out of pure frustration and irritation.

“I’d would‘ve tried, (Y/N), but you didn’t even let me do that. Sometimes you can be so fucking reckless. All you seem to care about is yourself, and you don’t care what happens in the process. You try to pretend that you are caring, but I know the real person you are.” Harry had turned into the exact same person he had been on the night you stormed out. He was saying the first thing that came to his head, and his filter was gone. Of course he didn’t actually mean all the things he was saying to you nor did he believe that any of it was true. He was just completely fed up with the way that your relationship had taken such a negative turn so abruptly.

“Fine, Harry. If that’s the way that you really see me, as some sort of toxic, deceiving, manipulative bitch, then so be it. You don’t know me anymore, and I don’t the validation from someone I never talk to. I can’t change the way you think about me, and frankly, I don’t care. If you want to hate me the rest of your life, go ahead, no one’s stopping you. I just hope that one day you can learn to move passed all of this.“ You put in your last word, done with this conversation and Harry.

“I don’t hate you, love. I‘m just confused, and I want to start over.” Harry was trying his best to try to calm himself down because he knew that if he didn’t, you would run off again. “I know it‘s hard for both of us to pretend that nothing happened between the two of us, but you’re too important to me to just let you go.”

You had both stopped yelling at each other, and the conversation had turned into one with soft whispers that could barely be heard by the other.

“I don’t think that’s true. If you really wanted me to be in your life, you wouldn’t have said that you think I’m fake or that all I seem to care about is myself. You sure do have a weird way of showing people that they’re important to you, and I’m not sure that I want that. I’m sorry, Harry, but I think that it’s best if we don’t talk to each other. There’s always going to be that tension and resentment, and that’s something that can’t be brushed under the carpet only to pretend it isn’t there.”

“(Y/N), that‘s not true. I can promise you that. I would never do that to you. I would never hold a grudge against you. The tension will go away some day, just needs time. I mean sure it’ll be difficult for us to get passed this bump in the road, but I really want to try again. As friends.”

“Harry, I’m sorry. I just can’t. Seeing you and talking to you is too much for me to handle, even now after all those years of us not talking to each other.” By now, you were crying as all the emotions you had been holding in had finally come out. You brushed passed Harry to get away from him as quickly as possible.

“(Y/N), wa-” Harry tried to stop you, however you were already gone. He wanted nothing more than explain everything to you.

But it didn’t matter what Harry said to you in order to try to change your mind. Because Niall had gotten what he wanted and he won.

-

Hello, my loves! There’s part two! I really hope you all liked this, and I’m so sorry that I made you wait an extra day to read it. This is the final part of the series because I quite like how it ended. Thanks for reading, and your feedback is always welcome. :) Much love- Emily xx

[roslinadama-sinequanon]

Major Crimes Re-Watch- Out of Bounds

“Uh, what, no. Glasses go---” “On the top. Sorry. I remember.” I love this scene with Rusty clearing the table and Sharon teaching him how to use the dishwasher. Since the scene where Rusty’s mother didn’t show up on the bus, we have seen a real change in him. He has accepted that not only is his mother not coming back for him, she is staying away of her own free will. Even when she was given help and money to return to him, she chose to steal the money and not come back . I think that really made him face some facts and instead of trying to push Sharon away, he knows that she is now all he has and he is making an effort to make a new life with her, for however it lasts. Now with this new threat brought on by the discovery of his biological father it seems even more imperative that he prove to Sharon that he can do the things that she asks and fit into her life without being the trouble that he was before.

“My biological father.” “Who comes with biological grandparents, aunts, uncles…” In this scene, I think it becomes very apparent that Sharon and Rusty have completely different views of family. Sharon is trying to make Rusty open to the possibility that meeting his father may also bring other family members into his life, grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. For Sharon O’Dwyer Raydor that is a GOOD thing. While we don’t know a lot about Sharon’s family we do know that she is close to her parents and her kids, that they do things like go away for ski vacations together at Christmas. For Sharon family is comfort and warmth, love and connection…happiness. That has simply not been Rusty’s experience. The only family he has ever known is his abusive, neglectful, drug addicted mother. For Rusty family is chaos, pain, fear and hurt. So, for him the idea that he may have more relatives out there bringing that dysfunction and stress back into his life is hardly a good thing.  The fact that Dunn’s brother is a coke addict hardly alleviates Rusty’s fear and wariness about the whole situation.

“Now that you know you have family, you may enjoy meeting them.” “And living with them?” And here is the crux of it all. Yes, Rusty has negative feelings about his father and is not interested in meeting other family members but most of all he is afraid that in meeting Dunn, he will be forced to leave Sharon---and that Sharon wants that to happen. You can hear the hurt in his voice when he says this. He’s already been dumped by one mother and now it seems like his surrogate mother might be looking to do the same. Also, by now, Rusty has found a stable home with a caring woman and is settling down into his new life at school and at home and he doesn’t want to lose that.

The little sort of gasp Sharon makes when he says this to her seems like she hadn’t realized that by trying to do the right thing and keep an open mind about his biological father that he might misconstrue this as her trying to get rid of him--because that is not how she feels at all.

“Rusty, I’m not trying to get rid of you. In fact if you weren’t here I’d miss you.” It is important that Rusty hear that from her. Sharon doesn’t lie--and he is coming to know that about her. By letting him know that she’d miss him she is telling that she truly cares about him.

I think Sharon really would miss Rusty. Sharon is a nurturer. I feel like she probably really struggled with the empty nest when both Emily and Ricky left for college, especially having been a single mom, but had built a comfortable life for herself with work and friends (I‘m sure she has them though we‘ve never met one). Then Rusty came along and while he was a pain in the ass and exhausted her in the beginning, I think she actually thrives and gains emotional fulfillment with helping him and nurturing him along. Though Sharon comes off as emotionally reserved, she actually has a very big and open heart--probably why she has to kind of keep a shield around it.

“Is that it? Now that I’m out of emergency care you’re going out every night? Is that it?” “To a murder.” LOL---as if Sharon is going out clubbing every night with different guy. In some ways, Rusty is a typical teenager. He doesn’t really want her to go out but there is no way he is going to say THAT to her, thus the sarcastic comment. And I love Sharon’s “Do your homework before you watch TV” and the little smirk. She knows exactly what he is saying and is happy Rusty wants her around.

“Madison High is not going to become a shooting gallery on my watch.” Taylor isn’t completely wrong here but I can’t help but wonder how interested Taylor would be about this school if his son didn’t go to school there. Taylor only seems to get involved in cases when they are personal to him or have the chance to reflect poorly on him. It is always about him.

“Say what you will about her, the woman knows the rules.” Love the way Sharon struts out of the room after the Taylor confrontation and Provenza makes this comment. Sharon is always smarter than Taylor is; he is always several steps behind her. It makes me wonder if Sharon plays chess with Rusty and if she’s good at it or not. And now that I say that, Rusty plays chess with Andy--the board was set up in hospital room--I wonder if Andy is any good. My speculation is that if she plays, Sharon is a good player; she is patient and able to think several steps ahead. I don’t think Andy would be very good, he is too impatient to play a game like chess--and is usually in the here and now. Okay, so I went off on a tangent there.

“I can make breakfast for you every morning.” Sharon comes home exhausted after a night at work and Rusty has an omelet ready for her. This is actually sweet but kind of sad at the same time. He really is scared that she is going to hand him off to Dunn. He knows he has treated her like crap and has made her life really difficult and that she has no real reason to want to keep him around so he is trying now to ingratiate himself with her--to show her that if she keeps him around he can make life easier for her--he can do better. It’s kind of sad that he feels he has to earn his place in Sharon’s life and home in ways a biological child who would be used to a parent’s unconditional love would never feel.

“I can’t deal with anymore adults and drugs and if he were into that sort of thing you guys could find out, right?” “Well, technically it’s against the law for me to run a background check on someone who’s not under criminal investigation.” “Well, then how am I supposed to decide if I want to meet him?” “I’ll have to think about how we might proceed.” This is Sharon in a nutshell. She knows the law but in knowing the law she also knows there has to be a legal way around it. She doesn’t jump into anything, does not make promises she cannot keep, she just tells him she is going to mull it over and see what she can do to help. Of course, this leads to her consulting Flynn and Provenza for their advice--I love how she now turns to them as allies rather than as adversaries.

“Thank you for the find job you do, you’re an American hero and I don’t tell that to you nearly enough.” Of course, it is Andy the rule bender that immediately comes up with this idea of the phone call--and I do love me some smartass Andy Flynn. I liked this part of the phone conversation because it seemed very real. I am sure that all the members of the team feel unappreciated for the work they do, putting their lives on the line to keep the public safe and not always getting the credit they deserve for that. I read once that the friction between police officers and firefighters often stems from the fact that the police are disgruntled that firefighters are always seen as heroes without any negativity, while police officers are sometimes viewed negatively because they have to use force and at times their guns.  Police sometimes have to kill, firefighters don’t. Wow. I’m really going off on tangents today.

Ultimately, it is also Andy who comes up with the idea of calling DCYS to have them run a check on Dunn. He mentions there is a woman there he has been meaning to call anyway. Andy was quite the player on the Closer but if memory serves me correctly this is the last time we have Andy talk about dating or trying to date another woman.

“Holding Lamar Lewis any longer could leave us vulnerable to a lawsuit and since I need to let him go I’m making the best of a situation and if you are taking over this investigation please let me know.” “If this blows up it is not Sanchez’s job on the line, it’s yours.” I love that Sharon is not taking any of Taylor’s crap. Rather than supporting her and trying to help with the investigation he is behaving like a jerk, throwing his weight around, not trusting Sharon and threatening her job--in front of the squad. I love Buzz’s little smirk when Sharon asks if Taylor is taking over the investigation. Sharon may be new to the job but she is NO pushover.

“We have overwhelming presence at the school.” It is a pretty ballsy move for Sharon to allow Lamar to go to that school. It shows she is not afraid to make those kinds of tough controversial decisions--and to stick to it even when Taylor has a hissy.

“Officer down!” Amy gets the pulp beat out of her; her face is a bloody mess. Okay. Sharon gets one punch in the face and the fandom erupts for days LOL. We do love our Sharon. I like how we got the reaction of the team while she was being beaten--especially Sharon because you know she was beating herself up over this.

Interesting that Provenza ,who had the hardest time accepting Amy onto the squad, is the first to hop in the car to get to the hospital. While Amy might irritate him, she has guts, and Provenza admires guts. Also, Provenza is the grumpy grandpa of the group, he is going to give you loads of crap, he is going gripe and pick on you, but when push comes to shove, he will be the first one at your side to help you.

“Any word on Amy?” Sharon completely ignores Taylor when he interrupts Provenza’s answer to her question by going on about a press conference. Instead of responded to Taylor she simply asks Provenza again “How is detective Sykes?” She wants her answer and also shames Taylor because he was not interested in the answer.

“Concussion, cuts and bruises, dislocated jaw.” “Good God.” “This is one of the big differences from running internal affairs and working in homicide.” Provenza the veteran is trying to comfort Sharon whom he can see is riddled with guilt. She feels responsible for Amy getting hurt. It’s the first time someone she has sent into harms way has been hurt and he uses this as a way to mentor his superior, who in this case has less experience.

“But what did I miss?” I LOVE THIS. I love that Sharon is smart, confident, and decisive. But I also love that she is always looking at ways she could improve. That she is willing to take advice and possibly criticism if it means she can learn from it and can do her job better. I think the team really respects this about her. Sharon did not walk into that position thinking she knew everything and that it was going to be her way or the highway, which is what I think they probably expected.

“Sharon there is no defense against bad luck.” Provenza uses her name for the first time to purposely personalize this--letting her know that she didn’t do anything wrong and that no matter how prepared you are sometimes people get hurt.

“We can’t even take the time right now to properly consider Amy’s misfortune because we have a murder to solve which is what I’m sure Chief Taylor has come to remind us of.” Everyone forgot Taylor was there and this is Provenza’s way of digging at Taylor for not being interested in Amy’s well being. Taylor never once asks how she is. Again, poor quality of leadership. Are you going to walk through fire for a leader who cares about you as person or one who does not really give a rat’s ass about you?

“Maybe I should have kicked the bastard harder.” God love Julio--and Andy’s smirk of agreement. Andy and Julio really share that same sense of outrage over people who harm others--and they both have hotheaded tempers.

“Do you know how important being a quarterback is to someone from that neighborhood?” We learn something new about Sharon. This is the first time we get a slight inkling into Sharon’s knowledge of football--a passion she shares with Mary and that will later lead her to turning down her dream job as head of security for the NFL because as much as she‘d love it, she loves Andy and Rusty more.

“I can turn this into a win.” “Chief, may I say how touched we all are at the concern you’ve demonstrated for Amy Sykes.” Provenza calls Taylor out again. Taylor had nothing to do with getting a “win”. Amy was beaten up for it, but Taylor is sure willing to take the credit for it.

“Here’s a receipt with a time stamp.” Not too bright buddy, you were too eager with that receipt. If he’d had to fumble around to find it and not known if the time was on it, he might not have raised Sharon’s suspicion. But he did…and he paid the price.

“Good work today Captain.” Sharon nearly spits her coffee out at the unexpected compliment from Taylor. About time! Love the shared look between Julio and Sharon.

“You don’t get to pick your parents.” “No, you don’t.” Except in the end, Rusty does. He chooses Sharon to be his parent.

“Um, I just wanted to say that was really good work with the receipt.” Julio is now expressing his admiration for his new Captain. The whole team is coming around.

“Is Detective Sykes okay?” Even self-involved Rusty thinks to ask, where Taylor did not. Rusty even asks to go see Amy when Sharon says she is on her way to the hospital.

“What’s in the file that Lt.Flynn put together about your father?” Again, it is Andy doing all the legwork on Rusty’s family. First his mom and then his dad. Andy has been so involved with Rusty right from the beginning--he’s going to be a great step-dad.

“Do you want me to meet him so I can leave here and live with him?” “Of course not, unless that’s what you wanted to do.” There is such vulnerability in the way Rusty asks that question and Sharon is trying so hard to do the right thing and let it be his decision completely. Rusty then opens up to her about how he made a friend, wants to join the chess club, likes his history teacher…and then the little boy in him comes out with “I thought we were getting along, aren‘t we?” There is such hurt and vulnerability in that statement. He is so afraid that she doesn’t want him anymore. And Sharon’s “Yes we are, really well,” is said so eagerly. She doesn’t want to lose him anymore than he wants to lose her.

“I think I’m happy where I am.” Sharon has presented him with all the facts and has allowed him to use her as a sounding board for all his fears then let him make the decision over whether to meet Dunn or not without any judgment. This is an important trust builder in their relationship.

Overall, I liked this episode a lot. Great personal interaction between the characters, great mother ship moments and an interesting case that ended with some excitement.

[fwdthinker]

THE DREAM OF MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND AS A BULL (2014)

Photograph: Erzherzog-Johann-Brücke, Graz

I dreamt one night that I was about to fight in an arena with my best friend who became a bull in the ring. I really envisioned him as an animal in the dream. It's hard to remember all the details of a dream you had ages ago, but I remember fractions, small pieces of what happened in that dream, and when I woke up, I remember the feeling of betrayal. This state, the state of feeling betrayed changes a man and goes unbelievably far, making you more caucious, makes you doubt people more in general, twists your perspective on even your closest friends. You begin looking at them as your enemeies, like they mean you harm, sometimes you despise what makes them different from you, what essentialy makes them, them, but thats probably the side-effect of any low in your life. Naturally, the most malicious hatered and disgust goes to the person who betrayed you. Back when I was a kid I hated when I made friends with someone and that someone just goes off and plays with some other kid made extremely jealous and yes, betrayed. Kidish stuff, I cried a lot when somebody didn't call me to play. Nowdays I don’t think much of that, it’s kinda wierd, it’s kinda cute but I'm a wierd kid with wierd dreams, and the dream I'm trying to wrap my mind arround still bothers me. By the time the dream was over, something gained a real influence on my decisions. It binded with my naked consciousness.  After these dream sequences i felt like changed forever. When that dream came to mind, I felt like my body was filled with this cold gooey green liquid, which spread from my lungs and my heart to the brain and the rest of the body. I felt this emptiness overcoming me, and at the same time feeling kinda thirsty. Something inside me shut off, it was as if this matter was killing my emotions and inserting this blankness inside me, like somebody inserted corrupted floppy disk in my brain. It transfered itself into the reality and I was left with this feeling of a dream, that became more powerful as more i thought of it. I acessed it knowingly from time to time to process it, to be intentionally sad, and other times it just came to me. Years later it would come to me whilst I was stimulating my senses with music or movies from the TV or my Sony Walkman. Suddenly, as if a huge low hit me, and i would leave this world and float into the sun. And It was the same feeling of emptyness, but this time it had a visual manifestation of a sunset which was very warm. If you would paint half of the paper blue, the other half of the paper reddish orange, and a yellow sun in the middle, that is how I felt. I know it sounds weird, but imagine: firstly, not feeling anything arround you, your vision is overtaken by this picture of a sunset in which you get so absorbed that you see nothing more(it is like somebody inserted something in your brain a foil for a retro projector), and feeling empty and overtaken by this feeling that you know lacks something bigger, but is just so mesmerising that you cannot move at all untill it passes. Afterwards I usually felt that my stomach was missing or something else in my torso area. I just felt this massive hole inside me. I would usually drink a lot of water in order to fix myself. I drank enormous ammounts of water afterwards, sometimes I drank so much water that I felt like I was going to pass out. 

The original dream sequence didin't go on for just one night, it just kinda stuck and i dreamt the same thing three or more nights in a row. Knowing i was stuck in this dream chain, i got very scared that i will never dream anything else. This was a really dark dream that i didn't want to go back to. Back then I was in elementary school. And being a nine year old kid in an industrial city, where i moved to at the age of 6, because of the good-hearted intention of my parents judgement that this dirty town would be the place where i would recieve a proper education, friends and overall a better enviroment. But the decision wasn't based on my future alone, thats just a story to make things sounds sweeter than they actually are. In truth, there were many much more practical, believable and overall more realistic reasons why my parents chose to move. My mom worked in Zenica for a very long time. She would take the bus every day to go to work, sometimes my dad would drive her, but the bus is as she likes to say "more convinient and it doesn't cost gas or your fathers time" My father, back then, was busy with leading the political scene in my Birthtown, he was the Canton president and a local representative of the BDP party. He was very absent during my childhood, i remember him always working and mumbling at the table, i once caused a short circuit to go off and he said "What are you doing? Stop that." but didn't get up from the table and just continued to mumble and look at the imense papers he stacked at his office table, which was by the way in the same room as the living room was, where basically everything was. But as the poles sank, and as the top dog went down as a breeze, his efforts fell into the water of a stream which carried them away into underwater cave where they were left unpraised, undone and worthless.. He basically got very angry with politics in general and chose to never mess with it again, so we moved. He didn't vote from that day on.

I gained a couple of friends here, some of them for life, some of them for a year, some chose to change schools later, whether for practical reasons like moving to a different part of town or for thinking the school didn't appriciate them enough as students or something. I was a grade B student, my whole life. I was always a grade B student. My first grade was a B. I was always far from perfect. Maybe I had two or three times in my life a complete visual representation of what i was talking about in my head. My friends were grade A students, mostly. This one kid that lived down the street for me, his parents were very strict, so i mean, he had to get it right all the time. This other kid which i went to play with on the first day of school and we played from then on often was horrible at writing and reading and stuff, but very good at everything else. What bothered me about these people is that they weren't very eager to play with me, all of the time. I guess I wanted attention all the time. Maybe it wasn't that they weren't eager. I think i saw them back then as a little bit cold-hearted. I was a very warm "little person" if you may call it, i was naive, fat and a little bit slow at times. But everybody reffered to me as "good person Ned" instead of just ned. I said my feelings all the time, and most of the time got hurt. I was very polite, and all the grannies said that. I really liked being polite to older people. They are so easy to accomodatte and impress.  I didn't meet somebody who behaved in a similar way, or posessed the same manners i did. Untill I met, Marco.

The same events continiued to occur every time closed my eyes at night. There are three elements of this dream, the audience/the sequenced surroundings where there were the people, cheering for the bull. And then in the middle of it all, there was me and Marco. We used to be really good friends friends but he had this really crazy grandmother, who was very caring of him, but in a very exaggerating kind of way, i can't explain. For me it always felt wierd when she showed up. I could find many examples of her unusual behaviour, but luckily she wasn't in this dream. This dream represented everything Marco isn't. Marco was a nice guy, a really nice guy, he wasn't very clean though, he didn't clean his fingernails and he cut them once in a month or less. There was this black filth, which was made up of mud and germs beneath his fingernails. He didn't shower or bathe much, and he only ate one brand of chocolate, which is kinda wierd, I guess. It's like he based everything upon feeling like it or not. In guess you could say he is mildly authistic, if you were a regular kid you would've think of him as a bit retarded and look down upon him constantly. That guy could drink a tower of sparkling water in a day, because he loved the stuff, Marco didn't do much except study when his grandparents forced him to, and play videogames all day. His mother left him to live with her parents to move to Germany, and I don't know if thats the only reason for it, but I can say this woman looked very coquette and my guess is she went there to become a prostitute or something. -  Even though I am talking about real people here I won’t abstain from bashing them, everybody gets what they deserve. There were rumours about that, I don't know how i managed to hear them, since I was a kid and I didn't take interest in gossip Also, I am not stating this to be true, I‘m just saying the woman looks like your average hooker. Even though I played a huge role in Marcos life back then I was a pawn to them and they didn’t really appreciate me as a person or marco’s friend even, they just looked at me as this toy that comes to their door and plays with him. The golden example of his grandmothers uncanny behaviour is when she would come into the room bring a whole bag of chips for us, and say to me; "Could you let Marco sit on that chair, that one is more comfortable for him" The chair I was sitting on was a black fake leather office chair with armbands that were padded with some kind of soft material which was really satisfying to touch.I didn’t understand why I had to get up for Marco to sit, if he wanted to sit he would ask me to sit there, or just take the damn chair like all kids do. I immediately said “OK no problem”, but as i was standing up, Marco said, "Granny please get out of my room" and she said "But he is already standing up, go sit down" and then he would start  screaming at her and when the screams got really loud she would say "Ok ok I'm leaving, I'm leaving" as she exits the room. Such events would happen very often, I mean, those two had a really wierd dynamic. I suppouse it was always like that. I mean it is weird, nobody wants to be in my place hearing all that. -That is private made public right here on this blog, Extra! Extra! Read all about it!- Grandmother, Bianca took him in when he was little and he had problems with breathing, he had a bunch of problems, and has them still. His teeth are crooked and black, his nose is slimey and goo comes out of it all the time. He is a very heavy breather, he makes wierd noises with his mouth and never closes it fully because he needs it to breathe, he only likes one kind of bread and which is like a white baguette that you need to bake in the oven. He doesn't eat any other type of bread, serriously. He is very closed to the outter world, i mean, everything he still does is play video games. I can't say if his grandmother spoiled him, or that he is retarded or even autistic, because i don't hang out with him anymore and ruining the fun we had and talking about him badly would be a shame honestly. We used to be close. You can’t really talk badly about him, nobody talked badly. That was one of the prime rules in our class. You could pick on any of the kids, start fights, hit them with pieces of chalk or even throw a rock at them but dont pull that shit on Marco. We would hang out and play video games and do kids stuff, he had a playstation two, which for todays standards is garbage. I don't play video games nowdays, cause i'm fairly busy and i can't afford it anyways. My parents never let me do that, because I had “epilepsy” which is another wierd story for another time. Marco was a good human,call him autistic,but he was good in his heart. I would bet anybody a million dollars that he never had a bad thought in his head. He was just there, existing, in this tiny microspace his grandmother constructed to be is eternal playground. It is pretty sad when i look back on it now. Once i went to his profile page on facebook which we created for him together and saw the same face expression he had when he was a kid( he didn’t change his profile picture) the one with the open mouth hanging. Maybe if it wasn’t for his obnoxious grandmother i would’t stop hanging out with him, who knows. not because of him but because of his grandmother who was bossing you arround where and how to sit all the time. And I don't blame her for ruining Marco, i mean who is to blame, he wouldn't have a home if she didn't take him in, and Marco had his own conciousness, he could try to go outside more and meet new people and be a lad, but he didn't feel up to the task, so he picked the cozy office chair and a Play Station 2, or it was picked out for him. I don’t know There is no one to blame in the end. It is just how it is.

In the dream I was sitting in a room with Marco. He was talking about how he is training hard to win this match in the arena tomorrow, which is completely the opposite of the real life Marco i hung out with. This Marco was so pumped to win, he talked about all of his moves, everything, his strategy, his game plan, how he managed to get ready in such a short time(i don't remember how it was really a long time ago that dream) and I fought opponents too, I think. In the previous battles when the opponent was down you had to finish him, exactly like the gladiator. The fighting stage looked a lot like the Roman Colloseum but at night and there were huge lights shining with blinding intensity. Maybe at this time i was acknowledging death, so that acknowledgement crossed over to my dreams, i'm not sure. The next day Marco was battling me in the arena, and he didn't hold back. He didn't hold back at all. We didn’t even shake hands at the beginning of the fight. It was like this thing that I felt superior next to got injected with some kind of advanced strength serum and it backfired making him an evil monster, destroying everything in his path. I felt betrayed cause I was begging him to stop and i didn't. I was fighting back ofcourse but for some reason he had this immense power and I couldn’t land one hit. I became afraid of him, and my hands were missing strength. In the end, I didn't want to hit him because i knew that this wasn't Marco that was hitting me. In other words, i was trying to summon Marco back, I was trying to make him realise that this was wrong. It was like this bond between us was being broken and I was the one trying to hold it all together.  At the same time i was realising that he was going to kill me and that he had no intention of holding back. Pure pain took over my heart as I saw that. I respected him, I knew how good of a person he was, but in that dream, knowing how much more pain that metamorphosis caused me, i felt truely betrayed and in a sense I was shattered. 

In the final moments when I woke up Marco's horn pierced my abdomen and swung me across the air. There was a green goo from Marco's eyelids and horns. It seemed like i was infected with this madness that changed him. I woke up feeling sick, and I screamed in pain. My parents came into the room and they comforted me, asked me if i need to vomit. I tried that but nothing came out. It just hurt badly.  The next day I didn't go to Marcos, i stayed home. I didn't feel good. I was having slight nausea all day and couldn't eat anything during this period. Me and Marco took different paths that day. After a while i couldn't look at marco with the same interest as before. I felt disgust. I didn't feel like talking to him, at all. Nothing he said was interesting to me, whenever he tried to make a joke i was feeling slightly sorry for him so i laughed a fake laugh and added something onto his joke while looking far from his eyes as possible. It was obvious we won’t hang out anymore. One day I went out with some other kids and we never talked again. I eventually made new friends and moved on. Marco stayed the same forever.

I guess why this dream has a meaning to me is that it was my first morally conciouss dream. Even though it was one of the strangest most alien experiences in my life and words are futile to describe it. It transnformed me through a very wierd metaphysical bodily experience into an unpure child, running the streets with the other unpure children. I got the twist I needed. 

[juminsmysticmc]

RFA + Minor Duo with a Mc who had breast cancer/ someone who is dear to her has breast cancer

Anonymous said: Ok because it's getting closer to October, which is breast cancer awareness month, how would the RFA+V+Saeran would react if MC or someone close to MC has breast cancer. This just popped in my head and I'm not even sure if request are open...

Hey fony! I was a bit concerned if I could finish this so I wrote this first. Request weren’t open but since I work in a medical house and this is practically my task to provide them with bras and mammary prosthesis I thought to still write it. So, I hope you enjoy it, have a nice day! 

Jumin

A few days after the both of you returned from your honeymoon you got a call. 

Your husband didn’t know what it was about but he knew that it certainly wasn’t something happy. 

Your face turned pale, your hands began to tremble and you suddenly began to sob. 

It was like a nightmare for you. 

Jumin was supposed to go to work but seeing you like that made him hesitate. 

,,O-okay...Don’t worry...I will be right there...“ you sobbed into the phone and cut the call. 

Your eyes fell on Jumin who stood in front of you. 

Before he could even ask you what happened you fell into his embrace, crying loudly into his chest. 

Jumin didn‘t know how to handle the situation and so he just rubbed your back. 

,,My mother...!“ you sobbed. 

Your husband looked down on you, your head was still buried into his chest and so your words were a bit muffled but he tried his best to understand you. 

,,My mom....the breast cancer.....again....!“ you sobbed. 

You said only a few key words but Jumin knew what you meant. 

,,I need to go to her....“ you hiccuped and turned around. 

You stumbled a bit, you were unsure what you should do but luckily you had Jumin who supported you. 

,,Here, your coat.“ with that he helped you to put on your coat and then led you to the car to drive to your mom. 

,,Don’t worry....“ he whispered in your ear. 

,,I will give my best to make sure that she will get better. There’s nothing I can’t archive. 

I will call the best doctors to make sure that she will stay by your side a bit longer.“ he assured and kissed your cold, trembling hand, focusing only on you while Driver Kim hurried to the hospital. 

Zen 

It was an old, uncomfortable day. 

Fear was in the air. 

None knew what would happen. 

Zen was holding your hand while the both of you waited for the professor. 

Something which began in the most beautiful way ended in a deadly fight. 

How ironic-you thought. 

Your hand laid on your breast, a few weeks ago, while sex Zen one day felt a knot in your breast. 

The moment got interrupted immediately. 

Almost immediately you got an appointment and underwent a check up. 

Today the results would be out.

,,I‘m sorry to tell you that you have breast cancer.“ the professor said. 

He stayed silent for a few seconds which was good, you first needed to digest the notice. 

But then he kept on talking but his words were numb for you....

,,I wrote down everything. Don’t worry, I will study well, this fight, let’s win it together....“ he whispered while a few tears left your eyes. 

You slowly nodded. 

Your boyfriend teared up as well but he still tried to stay strong for you. 

This would be a hard fight but to god he sweared that he would keep you alive. 

Yoosung

,,Sister-in-law, hello!“ you answered the phone. 

It was funny, sometimes Yoosung thought that you loved his sister more than him. 

But deep inside he was really really happy that you and his sister were such good friends. 

But suddenly you became silent. 

When Yoosung looked at you, your eyes seemed to be filled with fear. 

,,R-really...?“ you asked her. 

A hiccup escaped while you looked up to Yoosung. 

Yoosung was concerned. 

Did something happen? 

A few seconds later you cut the call. 

You were devastated. 

Yoosung hurried to you and took you in his arms. 

Whatever happened, he knew that everything would be fine again. 

,,She...has breast cancer, Yoosung. Your sister is ill....“ you could finally confess. 

Abruptly he let go of you. 

These were the moments he wished he would have become something else other than a vet. 

A medical for humans for example. 

The fight was hard but in the end everything turned out for the best. 

The both of you visited her regularly and supported her. 

,,From what I understood this mammary prosthesis is lighter but costs more...“ you tried to explain. 

,,Look, try to touch them...“ you tried to persuade her. 

She still couldn’t stand to touch them but you were sure that one day she could do it. 

And Yoosung was immensely thankful to you for helping his sister. 

,,Thank you. Not only for saving me but also for supporting my family.“ 

Jaehee 

You lived well. 

You felt blessed, you laughed a lot and had a wonderful relationship with Jaehee. 

You didn’t have any worries until one day your best friend visited your shop. 

You thought that it would be another happy moment to finally meet her after such a long time but you were so wrong.

The moment you saw her you knew that something was odd. 

She lost weight, a lot of weight. 

And her hair weren’t the same either. 

You decided to not ask her why she was wearing a wig. 

But soon you found out the reason. 

Jaehee kept observing you. 

Your sad look hurt her, she didn’t want to see you like that. 

,,I will call you tomorrow...I will go to rest now...“ your friend whispered and left. 

And finally you could stop acting strong. 

There were only a few customers in the shop, people who visited your shop regularly. 

Jaehee quickly approached you and hugged you, who kneeled on the floor. 

Jaehee never stopped supporting you. 

She even once escorted you to the hospital to meet your friend. 

Her strong arms always held you in her embrace when you needed them the most and her soft breast always had a place for your head when you just couldn’t stand it anymore. 

Saeyoung  

Saeyoung knew about your illness. 

He hated it to keep you somehow imprisoned in the apartment. 

And it got worse when both of you had to go to save his brother. 

You were weak, hurt and scared. 

Saeyoung also regretted for being mean to you but this was something he couldn’t change now. 

You often laid in bed, he next to you, stroking your back. 

You felt even worse these days, what made him worry a lot. 

,,Shouldn’t we go to the hospital....?“ he asked you. 

But you shook your head. 

Some days were better, other days were hell. 

But one thing was for sure, Saeyoung loved you. 

,,No, I don’t love you because of your looks but because you are you!“ he kept assuring you before the operation. 

Today your breast would disappear forever. 

It scared you but you also felt assured. 

,,I will see you later, my 606....“ he whispered and kissed you softly. 

Saeran 

,,I‘m so sorry....“ Saeran whispered with an apologetic face when the both of you stood in front of the hospital. 

Your tears couldn’t stop to flow. 

These short eleven days managed to take your mother’s femininity. 

And you, her only daughter couldn’t even support her. 

You couldn’t help yourself but hate the situation you were in. 

,,Don’t worry...“ you tried to assure him. 

,,It was Rika‘s fault after all...“ you whispered and took his hand before you entered the building. 

The hospital had an odd smell. 

You shivered, you somehow were scared to see your mom but Saeran was by your side, holding your hand and supporting you in silent. 

,,Hello, my daughter!“ your mother exclaimed. 

In that very moment your hand let go of your boyfriend‘s and instead patted your mother’s back. 

Her chest felt vacant but she still could smile. 

Saeran in that moment felt a bit jealous. 

You could be like that with your mother. 

He never was. 

But he was happy that he got welcomed and accepted from your mother who liked him right away for supporting you in the hardest time. 

Jihyun

,,We‘re going, Daddy!“ Lucy called. 

Jihyun observed how you walked out of the apartment and went into your neighbors garden. 

Jihyun honestly hated when you walked through the hedge. 

There was way too little space and besides roots could make you stumble. 

And especially now where you were pregnant he wanted you to look out. 

Jihyun kept observing you. 

How you hugged your best friend, send Lucy to play with your neighbor‘s children and took one of her baby twins. 

You ate a few cookies, drank something and then put the baby away. 

Your neighbor stopped you from taking the second baby, what made your husband be suspicious for a bit. 

He saw how you sat back and then put your hand in front of your mouth. 

How you shook your head and began to sob. 

Whatever she told you, Jihyun knew that he should wait until you were back. 

And so, when you came back the first thing he did was taking you in his embrace. 

His hand stroked your back while hiccups left your mouth. 

At moments like these Lucy luckily knew what to do - going straight in her room. 

,,So he left her because he didn’t want her? Because she would get rid of her breasts soon...?“ Jihyun couldn’t believe your words. 

,,He first gave her three children, let her endure pain and now at a moment like this he just leaves!“ you gossiped about your neighbor‘s husband. 

You hated it. 

Jihyun knew what to do now, he simply supported you and your friend and tried his best to make you feel better due to the circumstances.

Vanderwood’s One Shot Version Fight by my side here 

MASTERLIST 1 MASTERLIST 2 MASTERLIST 3

  08.10.2019// 21:19 MEST

Tagged:

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