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cattles-bians · 4 years ago

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Damie Vibecca exes AU part 4

post directory

[em note: this one is LONG i had to split it!!!]

obsetress: deflecting to viola protecting becs

obsetress: once they are dating

obsetress: and thinkin thoughts

em: viola asks rebecca if she wants to put a hit out on peter and rebestiecca is like????

em: that’s hot but

em: u can do that? also maybe don’t. but mostly that’s hot

obsetress: i was literally gonna say peter is still her ex and he's a persistent fucker even though it's been a year at least and viola's response is... not far off from canon!

obsetress: becca just stares at her for a minute and then she's cupping viola's cheek and murmuring "come here" and pulling her down

obsetress: they're like kissing or whatever and rebecca's murmuring "that was hot, you know" between kisses and viola's like "oh?" and becca's like "don't be cheeky, you know it was" and vi just grins against her mouth

em: I’m Really Invested In This Crack Ship

obsetress: ok but rebecca tells jamie and dani about vi offering to put a hit on peter and they're both understandably and reasonably aghast and rebecca's just like (takes a sip of wine, ducks head, smiles to self) i think it's sweet

obsetress: dani and jamie look at each other out of the corners of their eyes

obsetress: (later, dani agrees how absolutely out of line it is but also admits that it sure does feel nice to be so taken care of sometimes)

obsetress: (jamie throws a pillow at her)

obsetress: also thinking about secret soft vibecca are sometimes and how horrified dani and jamie are the first time they see it with their own eyes

em: jamie and dani excessive PDA queens get a taste of their own medicine

em: it’s so funny that i’m like. always on the verge of viola horny posting but as soon as it’s vibecca i’m like look at these babies. these beautiful babies

obsetress: viola and rebecca kissing one (1) time at brunch and jamie, arm slung around dani’s shoulders, is like “oi, no one wants to see that” and dani, leaning into jamie, one hand in her lap, crinkles her nose and rebecca’s like “y— you’re kidding, right?”

obsetress: also like. we talk a lot about what vi does for rebecca but also like

obsetress: vi massive abandonment issues and rebecca just

obsetress: she just stays

em: ur gonna Kill me here lies em

obsetress: i know i didn’t mean to and then i just

obsetress: i can’t think too hard abt them or i will Melt Down but just like

em: look if rebecca can see the best in someone as awful as peter

em: viola isnt nearly as terrible

obsetress: esp vi post dani like

obsetress: she’s obnoxious and haughty and neoliberal but

obsetress: radical love goes a long way!

obsetress: rebecca grounding her thru touch and rebecca slipping her hands around vi’s and easing them loose when vi’s hands start to clench and rebecca just pressing a kiss to viola’s temple and murmuring “i’m here, yeah? with you. not going anywhere”

em: like i just think after eddie dani wouldnt like, just go w the flw any more. like i think abt her challenging viola occasionally

em: lovingly! gently

but like, holding her accountable

em: also violas absolutely little spoon

em: like i know blah blah viola top rebecca top leaning switch but viola little spoon

obsetress: “actually viola” (vi always knows she’s in trouble when dani calls her viola) “that was really hurtful” “i’m sorry you feel that way, dani, but—“ “i don’t need you to be sorry for how i feel. i need you to show me you’re sorry for what you did”

em: dani calls vi the Full Name and viola knows shes in trouble bc thats at least 4 extra vowels w danis midwest accent

em: it is always v surprising how much like, working w kids equips you to work w adults. b/c at least w kids you dont have layers and layers of social nuance to work through. u can just say 'hey. that was hurtful and your apology sucks'

obsetress: meanwhile dani’s over here trying to explain to vi intent vs impact and how no, it’s not semantics or nuance, it’s actually kind of a chasm

em: i kind of love like um. look viola is terrible but she wasnt born terrible

obsetress: she just has a lot to unlearn

em: and id belive that even if i wasnt a ghostfucker thats just rogers theory of self actualisation babyeee

obsetress: dani viola big fight n dani's like

obsetress: "i'm sorry and i love you but it's not my job to fix you, vi" and she just breaks down and she's like "it's not"

obsetress: jesus why did my brain take THAT turn

em: wrow

em: its ok i was gonna be like 'so they obvs break up at some point....'

obsetress: anyway viola just stares at her for a second and then she's like "you put the 'i'm sorry' before the 'i love you'"

obsetress: and dani just stares at her for a long time and she's like "yeah. i guess i did"

em: HANNAH

em: BESTIE

obsetress: i KNOW what the FUCK

obsetress: anyway dani's like "i guess i did" and vi's like "is that it then?" and dani just looks at her with her puffy eyes and is like "i think so"

obsetress: dani clayton queen of saying "i love you" over and over in the midst of breaking up w someone

em: well! she has a lot of love to give but, she also has to love herself sometimes!

em: i was thinking abt scenarios n i just remembered that. whole video rental shop thing so i think that slots in nicely

[em edit: u can read here]

obsetress: god i love that lil scene

em: dani sends viola a tentative little meme peace offering and they get back to talking and its nice but maybe a bit awkward and viola mentions like, going to therapy and seeing someone for help n its

obsetress: vi's stewing on "i can't fix you" for weeks and then she's begrudgingly. BEGRUDGINGLY calling a therapist

em: like its still awkward and dani is still nursing some wounds but she can ALSO be happy for someone she used to care about

em: still cares about!

obsetress: she's always gonna love her in some way or another

obsetress: but yeah also like. smth to viola being too stubborn to do anything she doesn't wanna do except suddenly when dani clayton gets involved and that feels p canon in its own way too

em: 'i cant fix u' weird bc every time i see viola im like 'i can fix her'

obsetress: it's like ur in my head bestie

em: how do u think viola and rebestiecca met

em: not that u think abt it or anything

obsetress: MAN i was just thnking

obsetress: in this universe how did dani and jamie meet but i guess it can still just be bly tbh

obsetress: as for vi and bestiecca hmmm

em: am so caught up in the joy of fucked up interpersnal dynamics i forgot a meet cute

obsetress: honestly part of me wants to be like

obsetress: on some dating app but a dating app for posh people yk

obsetress: but then i'm like

obsetress: that takes all the meet cute fun out of it

obsetress: oh GOD

obsetress: i got it

obsetress: ready

obsetress: so like viola landlord we know this

obsetress: and then i was watching whatever ep three the other day and bex mentions wanting to do public law right

em: oooooh

obsetress: bex public housing attorney

em: OOH

obsetress: they meet at some conference

obsetress: hit it off prob fuck lbr

obsetress: and then

obsetress: comedy of errors

obsetress: whoever stays the night, they sleep together again in the morning, breakfast in bed, bex is like "so what do you do, anyway"

em: hjgbjshmdnfbmngbmhnbgs,hndg m,shndgds

em: YES

obsetress: and then they just

em: WHEEZES

obsetress: also i like to think rebecca invites vi back to her hotel room and vi is so charmed by her taking charge ("""taking charge""") that she lets her

obsetress: and then like

obsetress: god for a while what if they just like

obsetress: they're so mortified and morally and fundamentally at odds but like

obsetress: the sex is so good???????

obsetress: that they keep just meeting up and then

em: romeo and juliet situation

obsetress: yk how it goes

obsetress: the sex is good and they see each other as like

em: thats so fucking good thank u hannah

obsetress: super rare intellectual equals whatever

obsetress: thank u i am exceedingly proud rn

obsetress: honestly at this point i'm

obsetress: rebecca and vi uhaul change my mind

obsetress: like not too quick because isabel but, quick enough to be considered

em: so the joke is like. obviously 'extremely pda damie' but when rebecca and vi are alone they Also cannot get their hands off each other

obsetress: they both just. worry about appearances too much meanwhile

obsetress: tweedle dee and tweedle dum in the overalls and mom jeans dgaf

em: accidentally seeing ur friends compromised is just part of the package of being friends w damie. however jamie accidentally catches vibecca in the act and shes Horrified

em: hypocrits

em: danis like yeah what do u. think theyre doing

em: dani is nonchallant bc shes dated viola of all people

obsetress: i mean could you imagine

obsetress: between vi and dani's just

obsetress: insatiable libido

em: HADNT IMAGINED UNTIL NOW BUT YEAH

obsetress: dani, very seriously: jamie, when two women love each other––

em: dani likes dating jamie bc it means she can top occasionally :) maybe even more than occasionally

em: jamies like ooh my god i knw i know how are u so casual about... rebecca... and ... viola... (dani just pulls her in fr a smooch)

obsetress: they have each other's clothes half off and dani's like "i'm so casual because i dated her too, babe" and jamie's like "can we not have this conversation right n"

obsetress: also i still have this on my clipboard from earlier we bopped around so fast but

obsetress: vi and bex hooking up early on:

obsetress: rebecca knocks on vi's door at, like, 6:00 pm after work, vi opens it, rebecca just grabs her and kisses her, vi pulls her in, becca kicks it closed behind her, vi shoves her against the door and they're kissing against it, then vi's ducking her head to kiss along rebecca's neck and rebecca's like "how many people did you evict today" as she angles her head and then viola's finding her lips again and tugging at her lower lip with her teeth "probably not as many landlords as you shortchanged today" and rebecca's laughing and pushing her backwards down the hall as viola tugs at her blouse

em: GOD. viola is probably like

em: ok, disclaimer: fuck all landlords

em: but at least in this fantasy world perhaps viola is 'fairly' 'reasonable' n shes absolutely playing it up for the hate sex angle n rebecca Maybe Assumes shes lying but

em: stupid morons in love

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: i think i've mentioned this before but like

obsetress: now that it's more fleshed out

obsetress: then they're at drinks one night (and when did it go from just sex to drinks? neither of them could tell you) and viola's kinda quiet n moody (n rebecca already knows she Gets Like This sometimes and that she'll usually say whatever she's thinking eventually) and finally she's like

obsetress: "i have... a daughter" and rebecca's just like "tell me about her" like it's the easiest thing in the world

obsetress: and viola's head snaps over and she stares because she was.... not expecting that

obsetress: and so viola does

obsetress: and rebecca's just like "i'd love to meet her one day"

em: soft.....

obsetress: they always turn back to soft

obsetress: like they have a fuckin mind of their own

em: rapidly oscillate between horny and soft

obsetress: that's the mood

em: violas probably like. yknow, rebecca's young and up and cming n she probably assumes rebesticca isnt interested as something as full on as a kid but shes like 'do you have any photos'

obsetress: fuck!!!!!!!!!

em: rebeccas like do u think i didnt. see the photos at ur apartment lmao

em: theres a childs drawing on the fridge

obsetress: rebecca has known almost from the jump but was

obsetress: giving viola her time

obsetress: also smth smth giving her time instead of time wearing her away etc etc we're all in hell

em: cracks knuckles

em: bestie....

obsetress: pls

obsetress: it's what i deserve

obsetress: first tho

obsetress: consider

obsetress: the way viola's face lights up when she's talking about isabel and showing rebecca all the pictures

obsetress: hold pls

em: soft......

obsetress: this one chief

obsetress: right here

#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #i have some old ones i wanna get through so bad just for the joy of #jamie: actually viola i DONT think cocaine is vega #vegan i meant vegan #but tumblr user obsetress mentioned the break up so! so. a recent convo

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voidselfshipp · 4 years ago

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Tender heart

Ok to rb

Cw:violence, underwater scene and food ment.

Jerico yawned stretching on the bed,her foot hits someones legs and she quickly snaps around.

Luckily wamai hasnt woken up yet.

She sighed figuring she must of have Fallen asleep while talking to him.

She couldnt quite place it,bit when talking to the kenyan Man there was something about his voice that was just so comforting, and it felt like home.

She stood up out of bed, a familiar sensation of claws appeared on her shoulder signaling that sunshine was awake.

Jeri opens the blinds, the perks of working here is that she gets a beautiful view of the sea.

Hearing the bed rustling she smiles as the Man Turned to face her still asleep.

"Cute"she thinks to herself as she walks to her closet,trying to make the smallest ammount of noise possible as to not wake up the Man.

She takes her trusty turtle neck sweater and some other clothes and pair of combat boots to then sneak out the door and walk to the showers.

She took maybe an hour in the shower,figuring by now that ngugi would be awake and gone.

Nope,hes still asleep.

Jer found it both amusing and cute, she sat besides him softly stroking his curly hair.

--hey ngugi, wake up--she said softly,the Man grunts and opens his eyes.

Her hand retreats from his hair and she smiles.

--morning--his voice is deep and raspy, he sits up stretching and making his neck pop--what hour is it?

--Its like...six am , why?

The Man quickly jumps out of bed--Ive got to go quickly! Kali is going to kick my ass if I dont get there right now

Jerico stood up giggling at the sudden informalness of wamai, putting a hand on his shoulder--First you need a shower and some food,hurry your ass up and meet me at the cafeteria--the Man stutters an excuse- ah-ah no ifs and or buts, shower and food first

She pats his chest playfully and walks outside with her eagle flying behind her.

The kenyan Man looks away and chuckles to himself, she surely was interesting.

While jerico waited for ngugi she sat there on the cafeteria with a couple of books and some paperwork.

--¿en que estamos trabajando?--(what are we working on?) She smiled at the familiar accent.

--Nada boludeces del trabajo(nothing just some silly work things).

Flores chuckles,resting his head on his hand-- tenes una pinta de cansada (you look tired)

Jeri nodded stretching-- odio tener que levantarme temprano boludo--(I hate having to wake up early dude)

He nodds in agreement, And they talk for a bit, shed laugh at his jokes and he would at hers, with the ocasional flirting in between.

Wamai however did not find this amusing as the second he entered the cafeteria he heard jeris laughs,his blood seemed to boil as he noticed who was with her.

--Im sorry but this spot Is taken--he said slamming a hand on the table.

--Hey Man--santiago said--we just talkin' a Man cant talk with his friend?

Another stern look forced the Argentine Man to leave,not before winking at jerico and patting her arm--bueno me rajan, me voy preciosa--(aight,theyre throwing me out, goodbye beautiful) he said walking away.

She giggles turning to wamai--Jeez jealous much ngugi?

Wamai sighs--My apologies I.. I dont know what took over me

Jeri shakes her head with a soft smile-- its okay, it was rather cute, but go get your food come on

After eating breakfast both went to their responsabilities.

--Bueenas!--(hello!)she said walking to Zero who was happy to see her.

--Hey, youre here what took ya so long?

She shrugged pulling her fluffy jacket closer,it was a rather windy day.

--Come here--he opened his jacket and she hid under it.

--Thanks

--Dont mention it

At one point jerico herself had to train, under her sweater was a sports top.

Now maybe it was the fact that she didnt sleep that well, maybe the fact that she had her mind in the clouds,but she was getting her ass handed to her in hand to hand combat.

This came with the sassy remarks of kali as jeri called it a day and was putting her sweater and blazer back on.

--If thats how her father trained her, I cant imagine how himself must be, a miracle he didnt die on the Battlefield

Jers hearing was somewhat supernatural, because for starters she wasnt one-hundred percent human.

She grunted trying to Keep her composture picking up her bag with sunshine perched on her shoulder.

Another sassy remark came as she Walked past jaimini--all those medals her father has? They are worthless,how did he let his daughter go into the military?, she inst built for this.

She Turned around walking to kali--the fuck you said to me?

Wamai who was running on the threadmill approached both women.

The other operators, specially smoke and mute took a look at what was happening.

--Im just saying that you and your father arent military material--jamini said-- you got your ass handed to you,If this is how the von-terras fight then its a miracle you made it this F--

She didnt finish because jerico punched her right on the nose, smoke and mute jump in keeping her from kicking kalis ass.

Wamai holds back his boss who looks at jerico in surprise.

--talking shit about me? I dont mind, but dont you ever, EVER talk about my father like that,Next time I wont be too kind,sushine nos vamos (we're leaving)

The eagle flied behind her owner, she should probably get her bloody knuckles checked,but that didnt matter at the moment.

Harry would totally hear about that fight one way or another, but that wasnt important right now.

She sat there in her Office looking at the painting of her dad and her when she was young.

How old was she?,she cant recall the exact number but she does remember that painting.

She smiled as the sunrays hit the painting.

--i hope im not interrupting anything-- Zero said.

--Not at all Sam, what happened?

The Man sat infront of her--Harry got Word of what happened during training, hes letting this one pass because you were justified, he'll talk with kali and he recomended you take the Next two days off

--And you came all this way for that?

Fisher stood up and Walked over to her giving her a quick hug.

She hugged back--Thanks..I really needed it

--And another thing, youre Burning up

Jer nodds lifting her hands from her desk in order to not literally set it ablaze.

The only three people that knew about jericos "identity" were Harry,Sam and ash.

She did as she was told and at night she went for a swim in the beach.

The water sizzled as she entered all the rage dissipated in the water as she quietly sings to herself.

She felt a pair of arms hugging her from behind--may I join you?

She chuckled and softly elbowed wamai on the stomach --Yeah you May

Both talk quietly,trying to avoid the topic of todays fight, even then they were still Friends.

--Hey wanna see something cool?--She asked

--uh...sure?

--follow me!-- she dived under the water and he did the same, they were far off the shore, walking on the sand.

Wamai was puzzled at the fact that she wasnt holding her breath but rather...breathing underwater.

Its the same thing that always catched his attention, she seemed to be super human almost

Hes about to say something but then a soft glow catched his attention what ngugi saw he couldnt Belive.

Massive fishes of every color,they glowed Giant octopi casually swiming above them.

And a song, he couldnt hear the words,but It came from the sea, he felt the beat in his whole body, as if the Ocean was speaking to him

Jerico let him walk around the fish for a bit, finding the cuteness of his Curiosity endearing.

But eventually they had to leave.

They Swim back to the shore.

--Wasnt that cool?

--How did you knew about that? How come i never saw any of that while diving?

Jer giggled putting a hand on his shoulder--Sometimes things dont want to be seen

She offered her hand and he took it walking close to her with her head on his shoulder..

They arrived to the dormitories--And...wamai one thing..

--Yeah?

--Nor kali, or anyone can know about what you saw, got it?

He nodded, and softly stopped jerico from leaving, taking her hand--Thanks for showing me that...its nothing like I ever seen..

He took some steps forward, and so did she.

He leaned in and she did the same.

Jerico cups his cheeks and kisses him, he kissed back tilting his head, leaning a bit.

They press their foreheads togheter.

--Ill see you later then?

He nodds kissing her again--sweet dreams jerico

--Sweet dreams ngugi

When she got to her room she collapsed on the bed sighing like a fool in love.

Sunshine curled besides her,looking at her owner with a smug smile.

Jer rolled her eyes softly passing out minutes after.

#tw//violence #tw:violence #thalasophobia cw #cw thalassophobia #food ment #ngugi/wamai #💙me traes loco💙#sam/zero #🦉💙shot straight to my heart💙🦉

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daisydukes68-blog · 5 years ago

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The Arcana main 6, really tired days. 😴😴😴

We all have those very tired days, and we do tend to act different towards our lovers (unlike me don't have one sksksk, just really cranky). But how would the main 6 act upon the apprentice???

Asra🔮🔮🔮-

Asra. A hard working dude. Most likely the reason they would be tired is because he had to go to a magical relm to find herbs that took days to find. He never realized it was night due to the fact it's always day in that realm.

Okay so, they seems sluggish. When they gets home, theyre so happy to see the apprentice, they hug them so tight.

However, you noticed after minutes they slowly starts to doze off. "Asra?" You ask.

They suddenly catches himself, rubs their eyes, "hahaha... sorry..." and offers to make tea to tell you about their trip

When yall both start drinking, Asra gets close to you, and slowly lays their head on your shoulder.

You don't mind of course and continues to drink some tea.

Then slowly, they hold your arm and snuggles they cheek on you.

You smile and let sleepy Asra lay on your lap and play with their fluffy hair.

He mumbles in his sleep your name softly. Rubs his soft hands around your legs.

Then after a while, you get up and lay him on the couch. Kiss him on his cheek, and lays a blanket on them.

"Sweet dreams Asra"~♡

Not long after, you head to sleep yourself. When morning comes, you find yourself in Asras arms. Tugging you softly and closer to them.

Nadia👑👑👑-

An elegant lady must always do her duties in the palace, even if she must lose hours of sleep. She does try whenever she can to relax with you. Have great times of excitement.

But today, she seems very worn out.

As you comeback too the palace, you find Nadia leaving the library. Before you say hi, you see her rubing the sides of her head from stress and headaches.

You find her also taking a long yawn of being drowsy.

She spots you, hides all that away and waves to you.

You walk to her and you rub her cheek softly. She relaxes and lays her fully cheek on your hand. Almost falling asleep.

"I belive i should go off to slumber due to my duties being accomplished. Won't you join me MC?"

Thus y'all both go to her bedroom. As your in the restroom washing your face from a long day of work, you come back to find Nadia already asleep.

She's not even under the covers, dress is still on including her make up. Her hair is still up as well.

You slightly giggle on how adorable she looks. You go to her and help her to her night gown. She doesn't mind due to the fact you have seen her naked multiple times hehe. Then you tuck her in slowly and rub her head.

Soon when you lay down next to her, she scoots very closer to you and with her graceful hand, she touches your bottom lip softly with her thumb.

She still is drowsy, but milligrams of energy is there. She uses it to softly kiss your lips, her hand on the side of your face, the other rubbing your chest.

Then she whispers, "thank you my dear mc," and slowly falls asleep holding your hand.

Julian🍺🍺🍺-

After all night research being done for plague diseases, Julian frequently yawns from exhaustion.

He doesn't stop until you and Mazelinka literally pull him from his studies. He's very very tired but he won't admit it. "Im fine, im fine! Honestly!!!"

But Mazelinka tells me to lay him down. And if he resists to sit on him or knock him out. Julian acts like he doesn't want to go but doesn't protest me from taking him.

When we go down to his bed, he is already very delirious. "Hehe, you're so cute mc," he'll mumble.

He just lays on the bed. "Julian, you can't sleep in your doctors uniform," you remind, "it will get all wrinkly."

He just looks at you.

"Then take it off for me," he smirks.

He is not serious.

Nope, he is.

You playfully roll your eyes and gets on the bed with him. You slowly unbutton his shirt, revealing his firm chest. You slowly kiss his collar bone and starts to bite down.

He blushes, "m-my dear..." is all he can spit out. You bite hard and leave a mark on him.

He bites his lip and is all flustered with desire as you remove more clothing and digs your nails on his shoulders. Until he yawns.

You giggle, and get under the covers with him. He blushes from embarrassment, "I, uh, I suppose i turned off the mood didn't I?"

Then he has his smirk on his face. "Ah well, i suppose we can continue tomorrow."

You smile and you cuddle him from behind. He kisses your hand, "have a lovely slumber mc~♡" and goes off to sleep. You smile, "goodnight Julian."

Muriel⛰⛰⛰-

Mr. Moutain man does a lot of hunting and protects the forrest. And ever since you started living with him, he doesn't sleep at night, worrying if your okay.

One day he is very very wearie and drained from exhaustion. You know he's being odd due to the fact he keeps bumping into things.

"I'm fine," he mumbles. Until he hits his head on a branch. You can't help but to giggle.

You notice the sun going down. "Muri, it's getting late," you inform. He only goes in the hut with you thinking you are tired. But really, you want him to rest instead.

he unpacks the food and feeds the chickens, he goes inside, with dark circles in his eyes.

He's surprised though, when he sees you helping him take off his cloak and boots. He blushes hard and stops you from stripping him down completely.

"W-What are y-you doing?!?!" He mumbles a lil high pitch. You can't help but to smile again. "I just want you to be comfortable. You're sleeping with me tonight."

He blushes super hard but tries to put on a grumpy face. "No im not," he softly says and tries to go anywear else to not face his flusterdness.

"But please Muri," you say softly, "i need someone to help me, i can't sleep fully at night."

Which isn't totally a lie. You sometimes can't sleep knowing he's out there working hard.

He turns to you, "...fine" he says. You smile big and hug him. You can feel his heart pounding and all he does is just pat your head.

When you both lay on the bed, you scoot up to where your slightly more up then him. You look down on him and slowly corress his hair out of his face.

"...what are you doing?" he asks, but doesn't stop you.

"Shhhh." You kiss his forehead softly. Muriel relaxes and feels protected by you. He slowly falls asleep.

Then out of nowhere you feel him grab you softly, and lays you on top of him. Your his lil blanket ~♡

Usually he's shy about this sort of stuff, but he's snoring softly. It seems he's more cuddly in his sleep.

You can't help but to kiss his lips softly. And lay your head on his pecks. Then soon, he's the one corressing your hair.

Y'all both have a wonderful full nights rest.

Portia😽😽😽-

Of course we all know Portia is the most energetic of all of the main 6. However she's been doing a lot of duties for the countess and has been awfully sleepy.

Nadia sees her passed out on the floor next to Mercedes and Melchior. She slowly wakes her up and insits she takes a day off.

In the garden, you use magic to help keep the plants healthy. When you see Portia coming, you smile and greet her. But you notice her hair is a lil frizzy and her eyes are heavy.

You ask if she's okay.

"Pfff, what me? Oh don't worry mc, im fine!"

"Just a long day of work i suppose..."

You realize she hadn't went back home last night. You just assumed she came home after you slept and left early this morning.

Portia rubs her eyes. "Mmm... don't worry mc." She smiles, "i have brought some bread for the both of us from the palace. Shall we eat?"

You both sit outdoors and enjoyed the comfort of the soft grass around y'all.

Y'all both hear something rattaling until you see Pepi pop out to greet Portia.

She giggles, "Ah Pepi!!! How's my sweet kitty doing?" Pepi meows and purrs on Portias lap. You can see the drowsyness in her eyes. Then she slowly lays down of the comfort of the grass.

You lay down with her, and she starts to cuddles you away tight. She gives you cute kisses on your cheek. She seems a lil hyper flirty.

"I love you mc" she says giggly. You smile big. "I love you more Portia."

Her eyes lit up and giggles. "Nuh-uh, i love you more!" Y'all both get playful and debate who loves each other more.

"Well... i love you... a trillion times... more..." she passes out. You smile, "you win."

Lucio🐐🐐🐐-

Lucio. Probably is most likely tired from being glamorous. No but seriously, one day he stayed up all night from sword practice with Morga.

When he comes back, he's exhausted. But when he sees you, he just has to show you all that he has learned!

He air attacks and defends while saying, "BACK YOU FOWL BEAST!" or "HAHA, I WON'T LET YOU LAY A HAND ON MC!" You clap and cheer along, "Go Lucio!!!"

Before he makes his "final" move he yawns loud as his eyes gets watery.

"Don't think this is over!" He says. He acts like he stabs the opponent but yawns once more.

You can't help but tease. "Tired already Lucio?" "What?! ME?! Tired?! Ha! Unlikely." But he continues to yawn once more. This time rubbing his eyes.

You get up to comfort him. And bring him to bed. He seems so sluggish despite the show of his.

As he sits on the bed, he pulls you towards him, laying you on his lap.

"Lucio!" You exclaimed, but he just lays his forehead on your chest. He's very drowsy. He smirks at you. "Couldn't help it, but i needed something to lay on."

He realises you. But holds onto your arm, bringing you onto his bed.

"Mc, my sweet lover, please, you seem so... so delicious." He brings you closer, snuggling his chin on your shoulder.

"You smell so so good..." he continues, sniffing your neck softly. Soon nibbling your ear lobe. You just stay there, breathing heavily.

Soon he lays down, you on his side, as he just cuddles you tight, slowly kissing your chin up to your cheek.

You softly kiss his forehead, until you hear him snore loud.

You just pause there for a moment...

....

Then cant help but to laugh.

You both fall asleep together.

Request are still open!!!! Hope y'all enjoyed!!!

#the arcana #the arcane game #the arcana muriel #the arcana julian #the arcana Nadia #the arcana Asra #the Arcana portia #the arcana Lucio #muriel #Julian #Lucio #Nadia #Asra #Portia #the arcana main 6

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sgnjongin · 5 years ago

Note

all the texts~~

😟 a worried text-

[ jolie fille –> ] did u get my text last night??[ jolie fille –> ] u havent answered[ jolie fille –> ] yoori gdi fucking answer me its important i gotta know if ur coming tonight or if im gonna be able to actually have some fun[ jolie fille –> ] YOORI

🤡 a goofy text-

[ jolie fille –> ] just a thought but like[ jolie fille –> ] what if we made[ jolie fille –> ] like a suicide pact lol[ jolie fille –> ] u can go first

💖 a loving text-

[ jolie fille –> ] u handled that convo with mr baldy well, nice diplomacy[ jolie fille –> ] i was just gonna punch him in his pretty gold suit[ jolie fille –> ] what a fucktard[ jolie fille –> ] poor doesnt mean stupid what the fuck planet is he on

🤐 an awkward text-

[ jolie fille –> ] this is a bit far fetched but,,,,,,[ jolie fille –> ] did i leave my pants over in the hallway outside ur door??[ jolie fille –> ] can u check for me

💤 a half-asleep text-

[ jolie fille –> ] did u survive ur walk back from the library[ jolie fille –> ] did the ghosts get u[ jolie fille –> ] no????[ jolie fille –> ] see i told u shits not real dumbass

😊 a happy text-

[ jolie fille –> ] my mother just called to let us know that dinner tonight will be canceled, no need to show up[ jolie fille –> ] ur free for another couple of hours at least[ jolie fille –> ] and so am i

🤔 a nonsensical text-

[ jolie fille –> ] did u know the chemical they used to make teflon steel is now found in the blood of every single human on the fucking planet?????[ jolie fille –> ] like wtf[ jolie fille –> ] this some hiroshima shit fuck america honestly

🙏 an apologetic text-

[ jolie fille –> ] i’m sorry i was late getting back to the room ok i didnt know u were alone in here with my father did he do something to you did he touch you[ jolie fille –> ] i got distracted i didnt realize[ jolie fille –> ] yoori i see u looking at ur phone, fucking answer me

❎ a text meant for someone else-

[ jolie fille –> ] {attachment opened: dick pic}[ jolie fille –> ] oops that wasn’t meant for u[ jolie fille –> ] that’s for my ~~~~~mistress~~~~~ lol

🕰️ an early morning text-

[ jolie fille –> ] if ur getting coffee, pick me up one too[ jolie fille –> ] just do it i’ll pay u[ jolie fille –> ] isn’t that all u want anyway???? money?????

🌑 a late night text-

[ jolie fille –> ] why are u texting me from 2 rooms away we are literally 2 rooms away yoori[ jolie fille –> ] I’M NOT ABANDONING U IN A HAUNTED HOUSE IM LITERALLY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HALLWAY WTF

🥴 a drunk text-

[ jolie fille –> ] youve ee ruinedd everything[ jolie fille –> ] everythtuing[ jolie fille –> ] myy hwole life what why do u think im fuckcign ilike tis yoori[ jolie fille –> ] becausee of u[ jolie fille –> ] u bithc

🗑️ a text that wasn’t sent-

[ jolie fille –> ] i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate the way you hate me i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you[ jolie fille –> ] one of these days he’s gonna try to make me kill you[ jolie fille –> ] what will i do then[ jolie fille –> ] what would you look like with my hands around that pretty porcelain neck?

👀 a dirty text-

[ jolie fille –> ] idk u look like the kind of girl who likes getting her hair pulled[ jolie fille –> ] if u weren’t such a fucking virgin tho ofc[ jolie fille –> ] like even if ur not a virgin, you put out Strong Virgin Vibes, it messes with my zen honestly[ jolie fille –> ] if u begged nicely enough i could help u with that tho

⚠️ a scared text-

[ jolie fille –> ] can u phone my mom[ jolie fille –> ] she’s not answering me[ jolie fille –> ] maybe she’ll answer u[ jolie fille –> ] i just need her to pick up[ jolie fille –> ] she doesn’t usually not have her phone, u know how she gets[ jolie fille –> ] and i know how my father can get[ jolie fille –> ] with her[ jolie fille –> ] sometimes[ jolie fille –> ] just fucking call her[ jolie fille –> ] now

🚨 an urgent text-

[ jolie fille –> ] do me a solid and turn in my chem homework, its on my desk, clearly marked, dokki is probs sitting on it[ jolie fille –> ] cant do it myself, family emergency

👯‍♀️ a supportive text-

[ jolie fille –> ] look i know ur studying for ur exam tonight so i took the liberty of filling up ur room with clocks![ jolie fille –> ] alarm clocks[ jolie fille –> ] 256 of them ticking~~~~[ jolie fille –> ] so you can find the time~~~~[ jolie fille –> ] to get a fucking life~~~~[ jolie fille –> ] at least u wont miss ur exam[ jolie fille –> ] ur welcome

🔪 a hateful text-

[ jolie fille –> ] you think im weak but at least i wouldnt sell my soul and my pride to the devil for some fucking social standing[ jolie fille –> ] you would never get anywhere on your own without me[ jolie fille –> ] you think you’re so clean but your family sold you to us and you agreed to it, youre still fitting yourself into this role[ jolie fille –> ] i was born here, i dont have a choice, but you? you fucking chose this[ jolie fille –> ] what a gold-digging slut you are[ jolie fille –> ] you and my father deserve each other

😢 a sad text-

[ jolie fille –> ] all these pictures theyre taking of us…..[ jolie fille –> ] i cant belive im here looking like a whole snack and u look like the trash the maid just took out[ jolie fille –> ] all these pics are gonna have to be burned, im so sad

😡 an angry text-

[ jolie fille –> ] WHY ARE U TELLING KAI TO DITCH ME[ jolie fille –> ] HE TOLD ME WHAT U SAID WTF[ jolie fille –> ] MY SON WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME HE’S LOYAL UNLIKE SOME BITCHES OUT HERE

👋 a goodbye text-

[ jolie fille –> ] i doubt we have to spend the holidays together[ jolie fille –> ] so glad i won’t have to hear ur whiny-ass voice for a full couple of weeks it’s gonna be GLORIOUS

🔎 a revealing text-

[ jolie fille –> ] do u remember when we first met??[ jolie fille –> ] i doubt u remember it the way i remember it

❓ for me to choose randomly- 😡 an angry text-

[ jolie fille –> ] put a fucking leash on ur family[ jolie fille –> ] they’re fucking embarrassing themselves[ jolie fille –> ] like apes[ jolie fille –> ] u ppl wouldnt know decorum or class if they hit u in the face

#yoori-sgn | texts #me: k im gonna go to bed #me 2 hours later: im gonna eat sleep and breathe jongoori drama bullshit oh my god #im sorry tho if this is pathetic i feel like its not my best but i also feel like its 2:30am lmaoooo

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destielshippingnews · 3 years ago

Text

@imnotofuckingkay20 Exactly! But we're just turds living in Dean's butt, so what do we know XD

#parental mindest#not to hate on sam of couse#he's had his reasons and deep trauma issues. i couldn't blame him if i tried.#the characters on this show qre extremely complex and we cant sort them in boxes of good evil#dean is no angel. he's done EXTREMELY questionable things. most which can be explained by understanding who he is and what he has gone thru#same with sam#but the thing that ive figured out is that dean is quite dependent on sam and has made bad choices because of that BUT#he also has that or so to speak and tries to do what would be good for sam. but he's a bit (extremely) misguided there#which we can blame on how his own childhood was. and what was practically drilled into him for the majority of his life#all of dean's questionable decisions are made on this basis. they aren't for the better good or whatever#they are the decisions which will keep his loved ones or more specifically sam safe. and i cant blame him for that seeing the way john was#this also applies to cas situations#dean constantly does what he does with cas because he has a very clear mindset#its not even internalized homophobia its just he KNOWS (thinks) that nobody would willingly want to love him/be his friend etc#which is basically confirmed by sam sometimes#but of course sam is looking out for himself and being rational (maybe) and i cant blame him#anyway that's why dean is the way he is with cas. he belives that it cant be possible for a person to like the real him unless they HAVE TO#like john had to because he was dean's father. sam has to put up with him because theyre brothers.#does any of this make sense?

dean surrendering any and all autonomy to his father for the first twenty seven years of his life & dean being insulted when sam feels betrayed that his boundaries are ignored. dean damning himself for his brother and expecting sam to view it as a gift. dean who half-hates his mother for her decision to break off on her own. dean believing that the self is an affront to family.

#dean!love #deancrits be nuts

2K notes · View notes

comicteaparty · 7 years ago

Text

August 31st, 2017 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on August 31st, 2017, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Alec in Wunderland by mintycanoodles.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning. Today we are discussing Alec in Wunderland by mintycanoodles~! (https://tapas.io/series/Alec-in-Wunderland) For those new to CTP, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer so pay them no mind if you wish~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! Each chat a top comment will be picked and featured on an ad for this chat, so let’s have a great discussion~! With that said, let us begin with this first question~!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

Tenor

Not fair that's hard to pick xD

RebelVampire

ironically while i usually struggle with that one, this time i know. its the scene where hattie is talking to the dormouse about alec. cause i liked the end to it where the dormouse is like "bro you gonna have to pick one or the other" and then hattie was like "i know"

that was randomly kind of dark

Tenor

Legit tho, there's a lot of scenes I really liked for various reasons. The opening scene for example was an excellent start, really pulled me in and still was well written enough you know there's going to be more and it was less 'random' based based off Lulu's questions about making sure this kid who will be abducted won't be missed.

Oh yes, the dramatic orchestra suddenly played a lower key there lol.

So far anything with Dormouse has been just pure gold for me, I'm absolutely sold with that character I can't stand it.

mathtans

I iz here! My fave scene is when they're arguing and that one guard is running by and pauses like, wait, what's going on? So they say "We're lost" and guard dumps instructions on them. Felt true to the world and characters and all and I found it funny too.(edited)

Tenor

Oh yes, the comedy scenes have been great, too! xD

But I think maybe utmost favorite just because 'why not' would be Dormouse stabbing the rocks from the collapsed tunnel. Just, BABY WHY THAT ISN'T HOW THAT WORKS

mathtans

I'm a Lulu fan myself. ^^ I also like when she just pushed Alec into the hole after making sure he wouldn't be missed.

Tenor

Lulu's ears are so precious. I love how emotive she is.

RebelVampire

i like the little touch of how because Lulu is young she doesnt have the hang of portals yet. that struck me as a little nice character detail that works for the plot. because often i feel stories forget young people are not rando good at everything

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

oh it started and i read this week

RebelVampire

good job delta

Tenor

I think the pressure TO be good at a young age doesn't help, either, in those cases too.

mathtans

Yeah, that's true. There's a nice mix of ages with Hattie being older too.

Tenor

/ Waves

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i think my favorite scene would be when alec questions wether the orphanige is the better place to go back too

Tenor

It was a good question. /nod

RebelVampire

honestly cannot read that scene without picturing the caterpillar getting sassy

Tenor

Sadly I only know of Alice in Wonderland from Disney, I'm not versed in the books, or the other versions the creator is pulling from. So I don't know a lot of the references they may be pulling from so I'm curious how different everything is.

mathtans

Yeah - makes me wonder a bit if time is passing at the same rate in Wunderland? Like, the Alice thing supposedly didn't take much time at all when she returned.

Tenor

I picture the blue caterpillar with the Fairy Godmother's voice from the old Cinderella film <_< Not gunna lie.

mathtans

I read the "Alice" books but it was, like, 20 years ago. x.x

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

same Tenor

mathtans

Do we think there's a caterpillar for each region? I feel like that's a thing?

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

yeah i belive they said that

Tenor

There's concept for a green one I saw so I think so, yeah.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i think there 5 in all

RebelVampire

maybe? i mean theyre certainly all in diff regions but idk if theres only five regions

mathtans

Yeah, the green one is huge. I guess they're all kind of different.... maybe by the end one is a butterfly? ^.^

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i mean 5 catapillars

mathtans

Oh, I think there's 7 regions. (They were on postcards near the start... and I think on wallpaper that was linked to....)

RebelVampire

i know you meant the caterpillars. but im saying you cant have a caterpillar in every region if there are technically more regions

FONCreator the pun king

Fuck I can't remember uhhhhh.....

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

sup zac

FONCreator the pun king

Probably the whole introduction of it

Generic yes, but I like how it was handled

Tenor

Redd also lists the areas.

(I think it was Redd)

(Campfire scene -yanks open the comic-)

mathtans

Rebel - Yeah, I get what you're saying. Maybe there's 5 caterpillars and a couple butterflies. Or maybe some regions are kind of inhospitable (one's a desert).

Tenor

(Yes Redd, 7 total so eeey)

RebelVampire

two regions are just too cool to have caterpillars

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

or hot

Tenor

I'm curious what the roles the caterpillars play. And the Otherlander plays tbh. Since apparently they keep yanking those into this realm to see if they'll live or die /shot

RebelVampire

they gotta continue that alec/alice cycle yo(edited)

mathtans

Maybe it's a bit like chess, you just have to hit all of them in order to be crowned at the end.

RebelVampire

but i also wonder how canon those queen alice the first pics are

mathtans

Oooh yeah, the history! Like, previous people who weren't found worthy or who fled and such.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

yeah that looked like a staute straight out of the time burton version(edited)

Tenor

I'm curious on Alice, too.

Too much curious HNNNG need more updates xD

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

even had the vorpal blade in her hand

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

loves the fact that the creator puts hidden mickeys in the pages

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

WAIT REALLY(edited)

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

LOL

Tenor

I didn't even notice those until I read a comment that called it out.

mathtans

You got slipped a mickey.

Tenor

Then I had to go back- LOL

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

mat please

mathtans

Here's a thought, I wonder if there was someone before Alec who just kind of gave up, and is still living in the world now, and they meet him/her.

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

I keep messing up the time and now I am ehre

RebelVampire

oh thatd be an interesting plot point

Tenor

Eyy~

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

i noticed that the catepillar said "i hope this one makes it" and automatically made me think "o no is there dead kids before him"

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

I want to see a sea of dead kids but I think it's too lighthearted for that

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

LOL

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

Or at least a graveyard

Tenor

I'm curious on the foreshadowing/call out about Redd not liking leaving people behind. <_< Curious what's happened there. /dundun dunnnn.

mathtans

Cali - Yeah, I had a similar thought, but then I figured maybe they didn't die they just gave up. Or went native or something.

Tenor

Oh lord.

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

a kid that fell into despair

Tenor

or insanity.

FONCreator the pun king

Yo this is a Wonderland story

Somehow

Tenor

Lets be honest you gotta come to terms with this place LOL

FONCreator the pun king

Someway

It'll get dark

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

Good

RebelVampire

@math they couldve faked their death too. been like "haha now i can quit the trial" and then realized they couldnt leave

mathtans

Maybe Redd was left behind sometime. That's how he hooked up with Dormouse.

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

plot twist; previous kid is an antagonist

FONCreator the pun king

Zero to a hundred real fast I bet

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

And then all the callipillars bring out their hoookas and are like "Damm son, this again."

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

only just begun reading it lol

mathtans

Rebel: Oooh, that's an interesting prospect!

Tenor

GO CALI GO

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

omg redd and dormouse is adorable

Tenor

Dormouse is best captain.

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

I also have an idea that the Hattie character has something to do with the previous children or even Alice

I wonder if Alice is the current queen

mathtans

I don't think she's current because didn't someone else take over? And put Ace in charge of where they're at now?

Hattie could be though. There were pictures of young Hattie at one point.

RebelVampire

do we even know if alice is canon tho? they could just be for funsies images

canon in the sense alice herself is semi in the story

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i don't think they ever hinted that the original story was canon(edited)

Tenor

No clue. I'd like her to be a more throwback, personally, rather than current queen but that's me.

FONCreator the pun king

I think Alice is canon from the Alec in Doodle land stuff

Gotta double chck

mathtans

We don't know. Could be the last person subjected to the trials was an artist and did paintings.

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

Hmm plot twist, Hattie is the actual queen running from their job and someone else took their job and is making everything crazy

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

well her flashback did show her childhood was a wealthy one

FONCreator the pun king

That twist

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i was dissaponited she didn't have a hat when a child

Tenor

She had to grow into it I'm sure xD

AWH BUT BABY HATTIE IN AN UPSIDEDOWN TOPHAT

Babycarrier/crib lets go.

FONCreator the pun king

Yessss

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

more smol hattie is always good

Tenor

like 99% hair

all sticking out from the brim of the hat

mathtans

I feel like Hattie's too responsible to just up and leave if she was supposed to be in charge.

RebelVampire

maybe the magic is in the hat hence why she couldnt have it as a kid. cant let kids just play around with infinite hat powers

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

I would laugh if the hat actually grew from her head

Like no hat, and then a hat sprouted from the head like poof, hat

mathtans

Seems kind of old hat to me.

Tenor

Go home LOL

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

I'm so drunk but not drunk becuase Wonderland don't drink the potion

mathtans

Wunderland you mean?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. Throughout the comic it’s hinted that Alec has a larger purpose for being in Wunderland and is participating in some sort of trial. What do you think Alec is meant to do while in Wunderland? What does it have to do with finding the other Caterpillars? What happened to those who came before Alec?

mathtans

Maybe they'll eventually have a trial scene, like they did with the Queen of Hearts accusing the Knave of stealing the tarts in the original.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i think hes meant to bring proper choas, not this orderly crap handed out by royals

RebelVampire

if i assume alice being the queen at some point in the history is a thing, maybe these trials are so alec can become king of wunderland

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

that may be

RebelVampire

cause biological inheritance not crazy enough for wunderland

gotta decide rulers by trial

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

well its a better way than being born into it(edited)

Tenor

I kinda think the same? I do feel maybe Alice might be a hint that the royalty are otherlanders and the first can't leave until the next takes its place.

Which if you pull the Queen of Hearts into the idea from what I remember, Alice being a threat bc noooo I want to keep the throne /shot.

mathtans

So Alec marries Alice? This is a test to find the Queen a King?

Tenor

Oh I'm thinking replacements.

Though that could, too, work.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

maybe?

Tenor

Mine's a bit more dark in the idea that Wunderland doesn't have the same time-span as earth (or maybe Otherlanders are age-lessly immortal here) and Alice can't leave to go home until someone worthy can take her spot.

mathtans

Be interesting if Alice just went mad or something, so they need to get her help. The trials are to make sure her replacement doesn't go mad.

I don't see how the caterpillars fit though.

RebelVampire

yeah regardless of theories on the what im really confused about the caterpillars and what the point of visiting them is

like are they just gonna say hey thanks for stopping by

Tenor

Could still fit alongside it: Like, maaaaybe they want the system to end? Or, darker, they want Alice to stay, Alec to be king with her? Never leave gotta stay.

RebelVampire

its possible alice had a king sadly cause one of the pics she was in a portrait with some guy

mathtans

The caterpillars seem to be evaluating Alec? Like the blue one tried to make sure he really wanted to be there... the green one might wonder if he... eats his veggies...?

Tenor

LOL

Rebel: True, I forgot that!

RebelVampire

https://tapas.io/episode/336206

oh LOL

title is even literally her consort

i have killed a theory

rip

im so sorry

Tenor

-hand over mouth-

That looks like Hattie relative.

mathtans

It's just "Portrait of a Queen" not "Portrait of Alice".

Could be the Queen of Hearts.

RebelVampire

but that is definitely alice cause of a different picture XD

Tenor

There's a picture later that's called Alice the First

mathtans

Ahh, okay.

Tenor

or earlier -looks-

https://tapas.io/episode/381442 Queen Alice the First

mathtans

Too many Queens! (That's a thing in the original, because you get the Chess Queens too.)

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

huh

RebelVampire

unless the queen of hearts and alice are related

or alice is the queen of hearts in this version

Tenor

Could be.

mathtans

The White Queen!

Tenor

Either way can't unsee the consort looking like Hattie now so I'm doomed.

RebelVampire

OH YEAH i forgot that was a character

mathtans

Who lives backwards!

Tenor

Especially since the photos of who may be mom looks less like Hattie <_<

RebelVampire

nah i thought that too. that the consort looks like hattie so i assume its the "original" mad hatter(edited)

mathtans

Oh, that's clever.

Tenor

Alice/Hatter ships are pretty common too so maybe. <<

RebelVampire

plot twist: not even. just some random dude

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

fuckin randy

Tenor

I'll cry LOL

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

is caught up now

Tenor

My heart's set now xD

EYY

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

I REALLY LIKE THIS COMIC SO FAR

RebelVampire

good job cali

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

ITS SO CUTE

i have mixed feelings on the "PROTECT IMPORTANT PERSON VS SAVE FRIEND" thing

mathtans

Lulu for the cute!

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

Wait the queen and the consort.....

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

lulu is adorable

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

HATTIE BEING NEXT QUEEEN THEORY MIGHT BE TRUE

Tenor

Depending on why the important person needs protected, I can understand why but yeah, not an easy choice. THEN AGAIN THEM LITERALLY GOING TO GET LULU WOULD HAVE FIT THE FAKE PRISONER PLAN A LOT BETTER JUST SAYIN xD

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

i can totally see the 'alec becomes king' thing

Tenor

But, y'know, one of their main tacticians stabs rocks with a scimitar so /shot

mathtans

I like the little explanations put in too, like how Lulu can't do her portal thing unless she's on ground.

FONCreator the pun king

Yee I can see that thing happening too cal

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

everytime i see the name alec my brain keeps wanting to say alex

RebelVampire

to be fair to their strategy/tactician skills, a guard did question nothing and was like "oh here let me tell you how to get to everywhere in this place"

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

well her portals are rabbit holes

Tenor

Every time I see Alec I see Mandy from Billy and Mandy now thanks to the Halloween special so, fff.

mathtans

Maybe Alec doesn't become King, but he has to be the one to choose the ruler? Like, between Hattie and someone else? They need to test for heart purity to make the decision.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i see that too Tenor

Tenor

Rebel: Yeah but they didn't know that when they built their plan that a guard was a jabberjaw. xD

FONCreator the pun king

True true

Tenor

(Presh button guard too hnnn)

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

alec also totally looks as if he'd be a sibling of rose lalone/dave strider

of homestuck

too

Tenor

Never read it so no idea but I know some comments mentioned it so eeey

Skeleton Honey

I love homestuck

mathtans

I liked how it was totally lucky that they talked to the guard though. Like, he was just running by and "wait, what?".

Skeleton Honey

Excited for hiveswap this september

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

haha i really like that guard they ran into too

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

skelly please this is about a different comic

Tenor

YEAAAH I Screamed at the girls arguing in that panel, too

Deity Cali of BISHIES OF SPEEDS

"OH YOU GUYS LOOK TOTALLY TRUSTWORTHY HERES ALL THE DIRECTIONS"

Tenor

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME GIRLS"

Skeleton Honey

Sorry

Tenor

"LADIES - PLEASE"

RebelVampire

now is always the time for arguing

its part of the masterplan

Tenor

Apparently lmao.

mathtans

They did have to knock him out in the end.

RebelVampire

cause if they get arrested for real theyre sure to find Lulu!

Tenor

TRUE.

mathtans

Rebel: Truth.

Tenor

Well sorta, apparently she's in process of getting moved.

mathtans

But they might miss the caterpillar.

Tenor

Omg that would blow tho - get caught, tossed in the cell, as your friend is getting dragged off

... if her teleporting only works when she's on the ground she has to be carried omg.

mathtans

Well, I figured "ground" was like "earth" so if she's on wood or stones it wouldn't work.

Tenor

That'd explain why she hasn't poofed in the cell actually, good point <_<

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

maybe there needs to be a set ammout of matearil below where the portal has to appear for it to work

FONCreator the pun king

good point

mathtans

If she was upside down with earth above her, would it work?

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

so many questions

RebelVampire

since were on the topic of Lulu, i noticed the ace of spades mentioned that they didnt "think there were anymore white rabbits." does that mean there was a white rabbit genocide? O_O

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

seems like it

or maybe they just left

Tenor

Well if people keep wanting a pocket rabbit for teleporting for world domination, yeah they'd probably die out.

FONCreator the pun king

Probably yeah

The white bun must be protected at all costs

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

yes

mathtans

Wow. Hum. I missed that. Maybe I thought it just meant they all dyed their hare?

Tenor

FFF-

RebelVampire

math plz

thatd be really high maintenance

FONCreator the pun king

XDD

I mean they could've

mathtans

Srlsy though, maybe they're undercover.

Tenor

that would suuuuuuuuck

at the same time imagine an old one in a wagon

traveling sloooowly across the lands

bitching the entire time because he can't teleport or he'll get found out.

mathtans

Maybe they're all in the Otherland looking for recruits.

Tenor

Or just having said "F-Wunderland"

RebelVampire

i think you mean looking for children to kidnap

FONCreator the pun king

Tenor

FFF-

mathtans

That too.

In her time off, Lulu likes to find Lemons.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

kidnap recriut, its all semantics

FONCreator the pun king

RebelVampire

but now i just picture some rabbit standing on the corner being like "Sir, sir! How would you like to experience a land of adventure, magic, and should I say....wunder? Our location is actively looking for recruits to try out our new activities!"

FONCreator the pun king

xDD

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

no they take kids

"hey wanna go a magic adventure"

Tenor

Omg.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

"just hop down the hole"

mathtans

With discounts at Lulu Lemon.

Tenor

Comes off a like a peddling con man.

RebelVampire

"Hey kid get in the portal thats not a white van"

QUESTION 3. Wunderland is not only large, but seems to have its own complicated political system in place (example: the Queen of Diamonds installing her own tyrannical Ace to rule the Land of Rain). Do you think this sort of political conflict will play into the plot? If so, how? Do you think the other suits have their own rulers and various subordinates? Do you have any other thoughts about the world itself?

FONCreator the pun king

Depending on the author's skill I'd say its highly possible

Its a very interesting take on Wonderland so far, it ain't as dark as it has been adapted as most of the time

mathtans

It's all a ploy by the Jokers.

FONCreator the pun king

Its rather cutesy/lineless artstyle helps it stand distinct

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

I like the artstyle a lot as well

and also I need to head off to get to work so I hope you guys have fun with the rest of the CTP

FONCreator the pun king

Its very much similar to Samurai Jack and The X's

Tenor

I think it's already potentially showing in the plot. They've taken over a location important to the green caterpillar based off the information in chapter 2. I DO hope there's other rulers, as I like to imagine the 'cards' as houses in particular - gotta follow who holds the seat but everyone wants theirs in head.

RebelVampire

thanks for coming feather~!

FONCreator the pun king

And alrighty Duke

Tenor

Bai Feather~!

mathtans

I didn't even really notice the lineless thing. It's subtle.

FONCreator the pun king

Yeah looking more into it, its not THAT lineless, but it gives the feeling of it

Tenor

The amount of lineless reminds me of papercraft

FONCreator the pun king

It also helps fit with the background, but not be too bleneded in

Tenor

Lineless where it would be 'cut' but otherwise lines to give depth, and I really like that feeling

Yeeees

FONCreator the pun king

Once again like Samurai JAck, but with more lines that are darker shades of their colors

Tenor

I haven't seen Samurai Jack in so long I honestly wouldn't be able to picture it unless I look it up lol

OTL

FONCreator the pun king

But SJ's lines mainly came from helping seperate things like fingers, heads and such

So its not just an abstract mess

Tenor

-Nod-

mathtans

There must be some order to it. The spades were designated green. (Wait, why does the Ace of Diamond have spades working for him? There must be a hierarchy then?)

RebelVampire

yeah there has to be a hierarchy going on. which we can at least assume that the aces are under the royal cards albeit idk where jacks would fall

FONCreator the pun king

Perhaps

If there is a hierarchy, then hearts/diamonds must be on the higher up scale

Clubs and spades being the lackeys

mathtans

It's usually jack-queen-king.

Tenor

Considering the power shift from Hearts to Diamonds in that case would imply lots have changed.

FONCreator the pun king

yeah

mathtans

If we're playing bridge, the order is clubs-diamonds-hearts-spades-noTrump.

Diamond uprising?

FONCreator the pun king

Once again depends

We don't know the full story yet

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

always political upheaval in these settings

RebelVampire

it could just be the suits trade around tho. so the the kings and queens just trade around the lesser cards regardless of suit.

FONCreator the pun king

True

mathtans

They have draft picks.

Tenor

FFF-

mathtans

(Daft picks?)

(Daft punk picks?)

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

yes

thats where you pick your favorite songs from them(edited)

RebelVampire

but maybe in the case of the queen of diamonds installing her own maybe its implied that this ace is a spade but in the queen of diamonds' pocket and the king and/or queen of spades is none the wiser

mathtans

I like the idea of trading around though, it's possible. There's also Anchors and Crowns in the extended card decks.

Or maybe they are the wiser but don't care.

RebelVampire

are like eh

just the forest ppl

they suck

mathtans

There is that underlying thread of darkness, so it's hard to say for a lot of things, could go either way. ^^

RebelVampire

i still dont understand what the caterpillars' role is tho @_@

Tenor

To hide their hookahs from the rest of the world.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

maybe the catapillars are like sages here...kinda like the original

mathtans

I think it's some sort of evaluation? Like they're the judges somehow? They test willingness and strength and stuff like that.

FONCreator the pun king

Give it time

mathtans

Green seems very large. I wonder if Green was always like that or if it was something they ate.

Tenor

Considering the concept I saw I thought the green caterpillar was just using magic to summon a golem type of thing.

But if they can transform that's cool too

mathtans

Ohh, that could be.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i feel like the size has to do with the ace fucking up the forest

mathtans

I admit I'm not that into politics, real or imagined.

RebelVampire

thats okay math

there is a question i want to pose but i need to find the scene to verify

Tenor

I believe in you

mathtans

There was the robbing of that stagecoach. So again, implies people in power and people not.

RebelVampire

ok so the question i want to pose is that when alec sees the blue caterpillar he gets told that if he stays hell find what hes looking for. alec asks what is it hes looking for and just gets told he has to figure that out. so what is alec looking for and why is finding the caterpillars supposed to help with that?

FONCreator the pun king

Because plot convience

Tenor

Caterpillars may be a goal post. Could be a metaphor of "you'll find yourself" through going through these trials, and by finding himself he'll be able to find WHAT it is he wants in life - assuming the caterpillar doesn't already know ofc.

Random option, Alice adopts him rather than he becomes king because he's an orphan and most orphans want families.

FONCreator the pun king

But really I think its because it could be parraleling the actual Alice with Alec having to findhimself like Tenor said

Tenor

(typically)

mathtans

What we're all looking for, a purpose? I'm not sure the caterpillars will necessarily help but the journey might, and I still think they're testing his suitability somehow.

FONCreator the pun king

And finding the caterpillers could be something they told him to do to kick his self discovery journey into gear

mathtans

Or a family, true.

RebelVampire

maybe hattie adopts him instead

mathtans

There's possibly a metaphor in that too. Using caterpillars. Who grow up to be butterflies.

RebelVampire

and alec, hattie, and lulu live a happy family life together(edited)

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

that would be nice rebel

FONCreator the pun king

yee

Tenor

That'd be cute too, Rebel.

Much potential for cute. :D

mathtans

Until the dark times came upon them all.

RebelVampire

part of me feels like telling him that was more just a ploy to get him to stay. cause him passing this trial seems important to them so i highly doubt if he self discovers anything itll matter to them

mathtans

He may discover the power to rule them was in him all along.

Or something. RebelVampire

the way you worded that made me think he becomes a tyrannical dictator XD

QUESTION 4. Given this comic is a retelling of Alice in Wonderland, which characters are you interested in seeing in this version? What role do you think some of these yet to be seen characters will play (assuming they do appear of course)?

FONCreator the pun king

Jabberwocky, Queen of Hearts, and Dee and Dum

mathtans

I saw someone mention the Cheshire Cat in comments and the author was vague about it. I played the CCat once in a play. ^^

FONCreator the pun king

Forgot if Dee and Dum were already introduced or not

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i'm curious to see when the cheshire cats comes out

Tenor

Cheshire Cat for me, too, as he was the only prevalent one I remember growing up.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i don't there were introduced zac

mathtans

Funny thing is how the White Rabbit and the March Hare have kinda been rolled into one character in Lulu? There could be hybrids also.

FONCreator the pun king

True true

Chesire Cat might be a baddie merged with somethig else RebelVampire

i have another vote for cheshire cat. got have the creepy teleporting with a smile going on.

FONCreator the pun king

Could be a great rival to Lulu

If they teleportation is kept

*the RebelVampire

the cheshire cat may at least be a neutral baddie cause generally depictions have the cheshire cat never pick sides. is just there to cause chaos

FONCreator the pun king

true

Even still

with the chesire cat potentially being brought in

maybe certain colored animals can teleport or have dimensional abilities

They did specifically mention they didn't think "White Rabbits" were still around

So maybe Chesire Cats are the only cats who can teleport

again, if chesire cat comes into play

Tenor

I don't think the Chesire Cat can teleport others versus just itself tho? Then again it being a being of nuetral chaos who knows it's potential abilities. <_<;

mathtans

Maybe it's a Kitty. Smol Cheshire.

Tenor

So long as I get to see it fade with random body parts around I'll be happy tbh lol

FONCreator the pun king

yee

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i wonder if the jabberwock is still around, cuase the staute of the queen had her with the vorpal blade

RebelVampire

i want there to be a plot point where lulu messes up the portal again and all alone alec bumps into the cheshire cat. cause then alec is helpless to the chaos. but then hattie and lulu come to save the day and lulu lectures CC

Tenor

I'm sure it'll be an alone-meet up at first, for sure.

Everyone probably thinks Alec is crazy bc that thing should be dead due to age or something but it's really alive and well driving people batty

FONCreator the pun king

yee

mathtans

The Mock Turtle could be fun. Maybe instead of being a fake turtle he mocks people.

RebelVampire

thatd actually be kind of interesting if the cheshire cat was just super immortal

FONCreator the pun king

oh yee

mathtans

Our school put on "Wonderland" a couple years ago. The guy playing the Mock Turtle somehow nailed the inflection. Didn't really talk slow, but you kinda felt like he was.

Tenor

I can't remember any of these characters xD

mathtans

The puns are good with that character.

Tenor

OH LORD

mathtans

"How many hours a day did you do lessons?" "Ten hours the first, nine the next and so on." "How curious." "That's the reason they're called lessons, they lessen from day to day."

RebelVampire

no omg LOL

it hurts

Tenor

kajshdklJAHS

BAD. LOL

mathtans

Most of the Mock Turtle dialogue is like that.

RebelVampire

and its okay Tenor im only really familiar with the disney alice in wonderland and i actually dont even like that movie.

mathtans

Would drive Alec nuts.

FONCreator the pun king

xDDD

I wanna be the mock turtle

Tenor

I can't remember it enough

mathtans

You'd be good at it, FON.

Tenor

I remember liking the Hatter and especially cheshire cat.

And the uhm, dark Alice game's cheshire cat

(Never played it but I had the script read to me and I really liked that version too)

So yeah, really eager to see Alec's translation of the character

mathtans

"If a fish came to me and said he was going on a journey, I'd say 'with what porpoise?'." "Do you mean purpose?" "I mean what I say."

Anyway.

RebelVampire

so do all fish in wonderland have to take journeys with porpoises? important question here

mathtans

I feel like we might get chessboard action too from "Through the Looking Glass", I seem to recall reading an author comment there somewhere.

Rebel: I don't know. Seems fishy to me.

RebelVampire

math no. the chat so saturated with puns now its going to leak

FONCreator the pun king

xDD

Come on, there never be tuna much

RebelVampire

so as a random insert, i like that alec is really practical in a sense compared to other renditions of alice ive seen

Tenor

I think it's a reflection of how times have changed too/their backstory.

mathtans

That's true! Well, also a bit stubborn for walking around on that path and nearly falling off a cliff.

Tenor

Like the Disney Alice was just a well todoish girl bored with her studies.

Screw going around the puddle we'll walk through it LOL

mathtans

Alec follows the rules.

RebelVampire

yeah and disney alice was also....just kind of innocently accepting. whereas alec meets the first caterpillar is like "ummm i was kidnapped wtf is going on"

FONCreator the pun king

Hmmm, maybe this story is about Alec learning that sometimes rules need to be broken and things need to be questioned

mathtans

Oooh, I like that FON.

I don't recall the Disney all that well. I mostly remember the one our school put on those few years back. ^^

Do you think we'll leave Redd and Dormouse behind after this part of the quest is done? New characters every setting?

RebelVampire

i hope redd stays a perma member to be honest

redd a good bro

and cause i could see dormouse being like "redd youre fired"

mathtans

Yeah, he seems to have a good attitude and a past it would be good to learn more about...

He did run off with Alec without permission!

(...someone's probably on board with that ship.)

RebelVampire

gets on board the ship even tho i wasnt but why not sail all the ships create an armada

but yeah im gonna be sad if redd going off with alec doesnt have further significance

Tenor

Redd seems to really care about Alec/the situation so who knows.

mathtans

Oooh, maybe Redd was a former person subjected to the trials? That's why he doens't like leaving people behind.

Tenor

I hope Dormouse sticks around even if it's for selflish reasons.

mathtans

Couldn't have been recruited by Lulu though, or Hattie would know him.

RebelVampire

yes i accept this as headcanon for redd now.

well to be fair

hattie mentions the last trial was like 10 years ago

so even hattie wouldve only be 20 i believe

mathtans

Ahh, possible.

Tenor

And depending on Lulu's age she might not have been involved.

RebelVampire

i think one of the things said lulu is 17?

FONCreator the pun king

Yeah Lulu's like 17-18

RebelVampire

and alec is 14 i remember that

mathtans

Yip. In human years anyway.

Tenor

-NOd-

RebelVampire

but yeah it could work cause hattie and lulu couldve just been too young to recruit

mathtans

Maybe things were less dire back then.

(I mean, I guess so, Green was easier to get to.)

FONCreator the pun king

Alrighty ^^

Can't wait for the next one

Tenor

THIS WAS FUN :D

RebelVampire

yeah that could be

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party is now complete~! Thank you everyone so much for joining this week’s chat~! That being said, if you would like to continue discussing the comic, we encourage you to do so~! We want to give a big thank you to mintycanoodles, as well, for volunteering Alec in Wunderland for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support mintycanoodles’ efforts. If you have questions, concerns, or suggestions about CTP, please feel free to PM me, or e-mail me at [email protected]. Please also check out the current pinned suggestion thread on the channel.

With that said, next week’s Comic Tea Party will focus on Shades of Men by Jrej. Please use this week to read as much of the comic as you would like. Hope to see you next Thursday (September 7th) from 5PM to 7PM PDT~! Until then~! Comic: https://tapas.io/series/ShadesOfMen-Pages

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic tea party #ctp #comicteaparty #start faire #comic chat #comic discussion #comic club #book club #bookclub #alec in wunderland #mintycanoodles

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not-tryin-2-have-a-debate · 7 years ago

Text

part 2 poetic waxing

i keep getting really mad at my ex the second i realize i was thinking something thats not real

because to the best of my knowledge she read this blog and heard me talk about my expiriences for so long and then she,,,,completely misunderstood them and tried to replicate them in a way that doesnt. make sense. and isnt what this is. and im still hoenstly really offended by that because wow. and i just wanna say like. especially since this blog is pretty much entirely Unseen now

im still terrified to recognize myself as psychotic

i dont want to be psychotic

im afraid to talk about it with my doctor or even touch on the symptoms and eps of it and im terrified to get put on pills for it and its a shit show

i think with the people im closest to i try to normalize the idea of being that way with myself

and i pretend the idea of being psychotic doesnt terrify me and say it freely because its not going away and im scared and i need to learn to not be so scared if im going to deal with it in any capacity i need to be able to recognize it

it was a long process.

i didnt start being that way overnight and i didnt recognize it until way after it started

and its not just 1 thing

to me the embodiment of it and the whole problem is that youre just constantly trying to figure out whats real and whats going on like your being hit on all sides

id describe my perception of and ability to perceive reality as a wall thats always being eroded down but can also have parts break off or have holes blown in it at any second...and im constantly trying to build the wall back up and reinforce it and repair it. but i usually dont have a fully formed wall and even if i got there id only be able to maintain it for so long until half of it got blown up again. etc etc wall metaphor if i leave it itll just fuckin collapse entirely

but yeah yknow like.

a delusion isnt just ‘when you think something that isn’t real.’

and like not to dip a bit too much into tumblr vocab and context or whatever but like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,the way Neurotypicals take symptom descriptions at total face value is...tiring. idk how else to describe it. theres so much context missing.

these symptoms for me started up when i was a kid and got worse.

it was because i have so much family history with this shit that i finally noticed it and compared and recognized the beginning to get worse problem

because ive seen it in my brother and my uncle and my grandma and my family for years and i know it up close and personally

i dont just have some kind of kooky thoughts that i recognize arent real while im having them. my ability to do that at all came with practice and time and repitition.

i dont know when im not dreaming.i see and feel things that arent there.

i think thoughts that i cant recognize as mine and are usually a bunch of nonsense word salad shit.

i have real prolonged trouble recognizing myself as a human being thats physical and has human limits.

i have toruble percieving the present. i have trouble remembering the past.

i constantly really for real feel like ive seen this before.

every time i have deja vu i like have a whoel fuckign Moment lmao

i assume people think the worst of me and want to hurt me.

i assume the end of the world is happening out of nowhere and i really think its happening.

i think God is trying to punish me.

I think spirits are coming after me.

I really believe it.

I spend my day crying and panicking and hiding from shit that isnt real.

i convince myself my whole life is some kind of divine punishment.

its on top of that and

its after years of that

and years of seeing family members older than me and farther into it than me degrading at the same time

that i think some dumb shit and immediately catch myself

or that i think im getting psychic messages and can immediately be like ‘ok calm down’

its because im trying to convince myself im NOT like a psychic prophet and ive been able to recognize it before that i can see a message for what it is and recognize what im doing

its bc ive corroborated the expirience with my brother after doing it for years and years already

i didnt wake up one day and start thinking i was a prophet but also recognizing thats crazy yknow

i thought i was a prophet and then as i grew up i started realizing that it was crazy because i found resources and saw what my family was going through and got so sick of the worst parts and thought something had to be wrong with that picture

and even then the messages arent a delusion

having dejavu and being suspicious of it isnt a delusion

wishing something was true isnt a delusion

believing in gods and spirits and weird reincarnation stuff isnt a delusion

they’re parts of a whole and thats only a few of the parts

like an example of levels

really liking a celebrity isnt psychotic

wishing you were married isnt psychoticdaydreaming about being married to them isnt psychotic

imagining they’re talking to you or they’re addressing something in an interview to you isn’t psychotic, in and of itself (imagining the message but also kind of beliving it also isn’t )

actually beliving they’re addressing you in an interview or something isn’t a delusion, and though its like Psychotically-associated isnt An Automatic Sticker Of Psychosis slapped on your forehead

forgetting you aren’t acutally married sometimes isn’t a delusion.actually beliving you’re married to them is a delusion.

you won’t be able to recognize it as that until later.

the other behaviors, for you, since youre having a delusion, will come off of that.

someone non-delusional who really loved to dream about it might convince themselves into some magical thinking about the celebrity.

for you though, its because you’re married. you’re literally actually married so of course they’re leaving little hints for you! you never get to see each other!

you rationalize it.

because you believe it and having someone put a crack in things you believe in is scary for anyone.

i mean especially wow if someone told you were werent actually married to your spouse and didn’t even know them? they didn’t even know youre name or that you existed? that would be horrifying. of course youd come up with rationalizations.

and that delusion probably started because you really liked them and because you were lonely. but also because youve been having some issues and either are psychotic, were developing psychotic symptoms, or like Had The Propensity To Be Psychotic in general yknow like. the seeds were there or you were already living life as a psychotic tree and this was just a new branch.

after a while they might start to get it.

they might start poking holes in there own reasoning and being brave enough to follow that path.

and hopefully from there theyll get to the still-beleving-it-but-also-recognizing-its-’fake’ stage.

there are a lot of reasons i dont want to be psychotic.

no one should want to be.

anyone who says they want to be is either someone who’s a disgusting creep thinking other peoples crisises are some hot edgy mysterious shit OR theyre a psychotic person trying to humor themselves and be okay with themselves.

and you should be ok with yourself but that shouldnt replace wanting to improve and manage that really scary world-ending parts of shit.thats a whole other topic though

i dont want to be psychotic because im terrified of slowly loosing my mind. thats a freaky prospect that no one should really want. i only want that when im suicidal and wish i just didnt have a mind to think with at all kind of shit.

i dont want to be psychotic because i dont want to keep having these episodes and seeing this shit and thinking this shit. a lot of it is absolutely terrifying. other things are less active but like...i wish i could trust anyone ever. i wish i could trust my own judgement. i wish i didn’t get obsessive and weird about contamination and not be able to eat food or need to contain myself from freaking out if certain people touch me. that shit isnt cowering from God under a desk but its annoying and i don’t want to be doing it. i wish i could stop doing it.

i don’t want to be psychotic because once youve had it confirmed that you believe things that arent real that makes it just that much harder to trust literally anything you think.i have to check everything with people because what if im wrong or assuming or jsut being crazy or i thought something up that isnt true.and we all seem to have an amazing knack for like doign that whenever we were actually with reality, and forgetting to do it when we do actually have something a little confused lol. maybe thats subconscious.

i dont wanna be psychotic because i want some things to be true!! you know!! and learnign they arent is, again, confusing and really scary. no matter what it is. but if its something that you like or that brings you some kinda positive shit then thats even worse to have taken away and have be a lie. and even worse a Crazy Lie.

i don’t know how much of my religious views to trust and thinking that anything i believe in or think is up for questioning brings up a whole lot of good things that i dont want to be up for questioning.part of the reason im scared to go on meds is because im really worried some good things will turn out fake and go away.

im worried about what all could just like...dissappear. what if the whole world changed. what if im wrong about more than i thought or something that id never even considered.

like.....im out of steam now but.

yeah. idk

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