#sometimes even I feel hopeless when it comes to my own skills

[starsofdarknebula]

It's ok if sometimes you feel as if your not "good enough" in your practice and with your gifts/talents when it comes to witchcraft and spirituality. Your still valid. Just don't give up.

[thedevotionaltour]

anyone else ever remember how they are gonna end up in some dead end soul sucking job instead of the actual career they wanna pursue because they are far too unskilled for it. just me. awesome.

[girlboypersonthingy]

Would it be ok to request Vox with an affectionate s/o?

More than okay, nonnie! I’ve been getting so many requests bro, literally every time I post one, I get like 2 more in its place. IM LIVING FOR IT, KEEP IT COMING YALL! But also plz be patient with me 🥺 been waiting for a request for my flat-faced prince. Tbh the first time I watched Hazbin, my immediate reaction to Vox was ‘OH NO HES HOT!!!’ So, enjoy these headcanons 😘

Notes: gn!reader, maybe a little ooc Vox?

Vox x reader- Affection 💋

Also oh my fucking godddddd the vest, him in a vest. I need more Vox in a vest PRONTO…🥵

Okay so like…bro is more dirty minded.

He’s genuinely confused when you kiss his cheek or hold his hand like ???

Oh….you’re not just trying to fuck him and get famous?

Cuteee~

Sure, he’s fucked and made out with ppl and probably done some other crazy shit but his experience with sappy romance and affection like you show him is very limited.

He’s pretty dense, he’s got a tough shell and doesn’t really understand love languages and stuff like that.

His love language is most definitely gift giving and I just know he’s terrible at actually showing his feeling through words or romantic gestures or physical affection.

It’s usually just like “Hey! I love ya! I got you this.” *insert item you’d flip your lid over*

At least he’s a good gift giver! He really does try to give you cool stuff he knows you’ll like but he’s still learning how to actually speak about his feelings and show it physically.

He tries to match your energy the best he can

Get him gifts!!! Plz he loves homemade gifts too- gift him art, sing him an original song, sew him something, whatever your skills or talents may be, use them and he’ll adore it and also praise tf out of you

You took time to make this just for him? ‘Marry me’

Besides fucking around with Val, Vox doesn’t get much affection so he very quickly falls in love with all the sweet affectionate touches you frequently show him.

It’s all so different than Val, so sensitive and genuine. It really makes him swoon~

Melts when you kiss the corners of his screen- there’s something about non mouth kisses that really gets to him

He gets a huge dorky love stuck grin when you sit in his lap and hug him close, also hugs you back super tight

Absolutely loves kissing you and then noticing the lingering smudges/lipstick marks on his screen later

Fix his bow tie while giving him a sneaky wink in front of his crew and he’ll huff and look away while trying to hold back a smile

Invites you on his nightly broadcast as a guest one time and quickly learned how embarrassed he becomes when you flirt and call him pet names on live TV in front of tons of viewers

After only 10 minutes of talking, giggling and giving him bedroom eyes, Vox was struggling to maintain his composure- you’re so fucking cute.

All you had to do was laugh loudly at one of his crude jokes about Alastor and call him your “honey bunny” and suddenly the entire V tower lost power.

Poor man literally short circuits over your darling voice calling him such soft names- he’s so down bad for you he can’t even hide it

Val and Velvette have that specific episode downloaded and saved to every device they own bc there’s no way they are letting this go, he’s never living this down

If you pause the video right before it cuts out, just before the power goes out, Vox has literal hearts for eyes and his entire screen briefly becomes this bright blushy pink color- that’s a color no one has ever seen on him

Just keep doing your thing, you little hopeless romantic, and you’ll see that color more often.

But Vox might have to leave you at home when filming bc he can’t control himself around you sometimes and you obviously can’t either 🖤

[borderlinereminders]

Losing someone can be so beyond words. Here is some advice for losing a FP but it can probably be applied to losing someone in general!

Some things I like to remind myself are:

The feelings are temporary. They will pass. No matter how crushing they may be, you won't feel like this forever. Sometimes it can help to remember that what we're feeling is temporary because when we forget that and think it's how we're going to feel forever, it can make us feel so hopeless. So here's your reminder. This isn't forever.

You survived without them before, and you can do it again. I promise. It doesn't mean it'll be easy but it can help to have the reminder that we existed before then, and survived before them and we can do both of those things again.

Be kind to yourself. You are valid and you are allowed your emotions.

Healing is not linear. Grief isn't linear. And for a lot of us, when we lose our FP, it is something we need to heal from. It is something we grieve about. And it's okay if we feel ourselves doing better for a bit and then falling back. It doesn't mean you've failed or anything like that.

Some things I do:

Note that these are all personal things I do and aren't rules for how you should cope. I'm sure your own list will differ! But maybe my list will inspire you to think of ideas for your own list!

Focus on myself. Even when it's uncomfortable and I don't want to, I focus on my hobbies. I focus on finding new hobbies. Sometimes I make a list of different hobbies I've never tried, and then I go through it and try them at least once to see if I enjoy something. If not, it gets scratched off. These could be new shows, books, activities, etc.

Feel the emotions. Usually not all at once because it's too much, but my instinct is to bury the emotions. To turn my emotions off entirely ((I'm sure others relate to the turning them off thing. It's like a switch I can use). And it's uncomfortable, but sometimes I force myself to feel them. In bits as I can handle it. Allow yourself time to grieve.

Focus on my DBT skills like Urge Surfing for any urges that arise or Radical Acceptance for accepting my feelings.

Come up with a Crisis Plan in case I start to spiral. Here’s my walk through on that.

I diversified my relationships. I think this is an important thing to do. Even if you have a FP currently. Diversifying your relationships to have other people in your support system can be really good.

This is a personal choice, but I cut off all ties. I used to keep screenshots of messages they wrote assuring me they cared and stuff like that. I deleted all screenshots. I also made sure I couldn't look at their profiles and check on them. I made sure their numbers were deleted and anything else.

I like to do nice things for someone else. It's hard sometimes to get there, but there's a feeling I get when I make someone smile or help someone out that makes me feel a bit lighter. It reminds me that I am valuable as I am. This is actually a part of the ACCEPTS skill if you're interested in reading more about that.

Work on forgiving myself. Maybe you don't feel you need this, and that's valid. But I did. I had to learn to forgive myself for not knowing better, for making mistakes, and I always remind myself that I am human. In connection with this, I work on letting go of any regrets I have. It's easier said than done, I know. It's important for me to remember that I can't change the past, so dwelling on any regrets doesn't help me. What I can do is learn from them and do better.

I know it's hard. But it really does get better. I have lost FP's and thought the entire world was ending and that I would never recover. I still think about them sometimes, but it's such a dull ache that I barely notice it. It might always hurt a little, but it will be manageable.

Here are some other coping ideas.

You can do this.

[juunobox]

── it means everything. (pinocchio x gn! reader)

summary: reader is a writer, feeling sad about the state of krat and their hobby. mulling in their own thoughts, P returns and comforts reader. p is sweet and supportive<3 fluffy moments warnings: very subtly implied passive suicide ideation, mc feeling hopeless and crying a little note: first time writing p x reader. sorry if it isnt the best i genuinely just needed to feed myself bcs there is an urgent lack of p x reader out there. i tried to make this cute-

You stretch your upper torso in your seat, staring at the pile of papers in front of you. You've just finished writing the second chapter of your book, as well as rewriting the prologue—an effort that consumed your entire day. You glanced at the nearby clock, checking the time. You thought about your puppet partner Pinocchio, it's about time he'd return from a day of stalking. It's getting late at night, the usual time he would come back.

In the meantime- you reach for your cup of tea, sipping it carefully before setting it down on the desk as your gaze drifts to the pile of freshly written papers. Sometimes you wonder why you continue writing your book. Krat is falling apart, after all. It's not the city it once was, the city you had known. What's the meaning?

You were lucky to be saved by Geppetto's puppet amidst the chaos and fortunate not to have contracted the petrification disease. Your near-total lack of self-defense skills makes your survival among the frenzied puppets seem like a miracle. You were hiding beneath a carriage in Elysion Boulevard when P found you and brought you to the refuge known as Hotel Krat, the only safe place left in the decaying city.

As you read through your own writing, paragraph by paragraph, you realize something isn't quite right— the prologue chapter. You think the writing isn't as good as how it was written the first time. You remember losing it while running for your life through Krat, barely managing to stay alive. Maybe that was the cost of being saved by P.

You set the papers aside, feeling an invisible weight settle in your chest. Why do you still write? Why are you still here? You've lost everything—friends, family— all to the petrification disease or the frenzied puppets. Maybe surviving is a curse, to grapple with the guilt of being the only one left.

If Pinocchio hadn’t found you that day, maybe it'd be better off that way. You don't know how much longer you can live like this...

Knock knock.

The soft noise snaps you out of your musing. You quickly run to the door, only to realize tears have been rolling down your cheeks. You hadn't noticed them amidst your thoughts and what-ifs. Quickly wiping them away, you compose yourself. You wouldn't want your puppet partner to see you like this. Despite being a puppet, you treat him as a real boy, even though he's still learning about human emotions. He ventures out daily on errands— navigating the dangerous streets of Krat. While he may not comprehend exhaustion nor fully grasp human feelings just yet, you empathize with his efforts. Despite these differences, you find comfort, sincerity and a sense of belonging in his presence.

You swing the door open, meeting Pinocchio's blue eyes with a forced smile. You try to remain casual, despite the turmoil inside you. "P! You've returned. How was today for you?" you ask, not expecting any verbal response. Pinocchio is a puppet of few words, usually replying with a nod, a shake of his head, or one and two words. Today is no exception, either. He nods with a slight smile, a way of telling you that it was fine. His head soon slightly tilts while pointing his index finger at you, that you interpret as- "What about you?"

"My day was okay. I spent it writing some of my book again," you say. To your surprise, P remains still instead of giving you another nod or smile- now looking at you with what appears to be a small frown.

You rose a brow, "What is it, P?" you ask, not quite understanding his intent. His eyes widen momentarily before he fidgets, struggling to express himself. He points at your eyes, pleading for you to understand. You glance at him, puzzled.

"…My eyes?" you murmur.

P nods almost hesitantly.

"Tired?" he finally speaks, his voice gentle.

"Your eyes… tired?"

You blink slowly, not expecting such a question. Your mind races, searching for a response. The way P's blue eyes implore you only increases your nervousness. "Oh! Yes, must be because I haven't been able to sleep much lately… but don’t worry. I plan on sleeping earlier tonight, though, so don’t you worry!" You laugh lightly, trying to sound casual and lighthearted.

P doesn't appear convinced. He stays motionless, his eyes silently urging you to say more. For a moment, you wonder if he can see through your lie—he's a puppet capable of lying himself, after all.

Before you could say something more, P steps forward and enfolds you in his arms. He pulls you into his embrace. Despite his wooden and steel body, his embrace brings you immense comfort. The weight that has burdened you for weeks—no, months—seems to melt away, at least a little bit of it.

You linger in his embrace for a moment longer before P gently withdraws, yet his grip remains on your shoulders. His expression is filled with genuine concern as he gazes at you.

"You hugged me..? Why?" you ask, feeling a bit self-conscious under his intense scrutiny.

P fidgets, clearly searching for the right words to convey his thoughts. He gestures towards the pile of papers on your desk and then back at you, his eyes brimming with curiosity and hopefulness. "Your writing... important," he says slowly, as if trying out the words to see how they fit.

You blink in surprise. "You think my writing is important?"

He nods. "Yes. It… gives meaning."

A lump forms in your throat as you realize he's trying to tell you that your work, your words, still hold value, even in a crumbling city like Krat. How can he tell? Is your distress so obvious that those around you can easily notice? You feel a little embarrassed at this realization, but P's simple affirmation fills you with a warmth you haven't felt in a long time. Your cheeks warm slightly at his words, and you nod, offering him a gentle smile.

"Thank you, P. That means a lot to me," you whisper, your voice cracking slightly.

P smiles, a rare and genuine expression that lights up his usually stoic face. You know he still struggles to emote, so his smile looks a little awkward, but the effort warms your heart. He gestures towards the pile of papers again and then back at himself, silently asking if he could hear your story.

"You want me… to read it to you?" you ask, a bit taken aback.

He nods again, his eyes bright with anticipation.

"Alright," you say, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Let's sit over there."

You both move to the small couch in your room. You pick up the papers and sit down, P settling in beside you. The close proximity is comforting, and you feel a sense of calmness wash over you in his presence. As you start reading, P listens intently, his eyes constantly switching from your face to the writing in your hand.

You read aloud, the prologue and chapter one unfolding in the quiet room. P's attention never wavers, and his expressions shift subtly with the spoken narrative. It's endearing to see how engrossed he seems to be at your little story, even though it doesn't feel that much interesting to you. Paragraph by paragraph, the story eventually reaches a tender moment between your characters- a kiss shared under the moonlight. P's eyes lit up with a spark of curiosity flickering in them as you read aloud the scene for him. As you’re about to turn the page, he places a hand on the paper, stopping you.

“Is something the matter, P?” you ask, trying to understand his concern. His index finger points at the word 'kiss' on the paper, looking at you with a curious expression.

"You're asking what a kiss is?" you clarify, trying to make sense of his question. P nods, confirming it.

You pause, taken aback by his curiosity. "A kiss is… well, it's a way to show affection. It's something humans do to express their love and care for each other," you explain, feeling a bit flustered. “And there are various kinds of kisses—romantic and platonic, depending on the context. The kiss shared between my characters here is more like a romantic kiss. It’s shared between lovers, while platonic ones are shared with friends and family…” You speak slowly, hoping he’d understand the explanation.

P nods slowly, processing your words. You can hear his gears ticking a little faster than usual, indicating he's processing all this new information. He seems satisfied with your explanation, treating it with the same seriousness he applies to everything he learns.

Taking his nod as encouragement, you continue reading to him, pausing and slowing down whenever you notice P needing further explanation of certain phrases or sentences. Sometimes, he gently stops you from turning the page if you miss a cue.

As time passes, fatigue catches up with you. Your eyelids grow heavy, and before you know it, you find yourself leaning against P's shoulder, your voice trailing off as sleepiness overtakes you. P notices immediately, glancing down to see you asleep. Gently, he sets the pile of papers aside, ensuring not to disturb you. Leaning back, he gazes down at you sleeping soundly against him while sensing an unfamiliar warmth spreading through his chest. His gears and springs tick a little faster, a new sensation that he finds oddly pleasant.

P watches you sleep, observing how relaxed you look. His human hand gently caresses your cheek, moving a stray strand of hair away from your face. The puppet leans closer, hesitating as his gaze drifts to your forehead. The memory of your explanation about kisses comes to mind. After a brief pause, he cups your cheek in his hand and finally presses a little kiss to your forehead.

As he pulls away, he could feel his mechanical heart's beat slowing down. He hadn't realized they had been ticking a little faster up until then. The now familiar warmth settles in his chest again as he takes in the sight of you sleeping peacefully against him, not fully understanding the gesture yet but liking the feeling of giving you a tender kiss like so.

The chestnut-haired puppet then wraps his arms around you in a protective embrace, holding you close to him as you sleep. In this quiet moment, he feels like he had gained a deeper understanding of human emotions and the connections that bind people together.

Though Krat may be falling apart, in this small, intimate space, there is still peace and comfort.

For now, that's enough—for both you and P.

[bytmm]

003

Pivot.

In my favorite sport, football, a pivot is the player who is there between the defense and the midfield; the job being to distribute the ball to the midfield to whichever side (left, right or middle) they feel the opposition's defense is weak or their own team's attack is strong. The player is the initiator of the attack. Another major job for pivot is to shield the defense and stop the opposition's attacks in the midfield. In layman’s terms, they provide the balance their team needs between defense and offense.

In life, pivot, according to Merriam-Webster, is a transitive verb that means to adapt or improve by adjusting or modifying. Moving to America in August of 2001, at the time, I hated it. I was happy, comfortable and enjoying London, that's all I knew. It was the start of my pivoting. 

23 years later, I am still pivoting and finding my way. Earlier in the year, I was let go from a job; I was part of a team that shaped one of the biggest football brands in the world. It hurt badly. It still does. I am human after all. Learning everyday how to deal with it, I had to pivot. Being an immigrant and working in a country that sells the idea of the American dream is a lot tougher than you can imagine but that’s a story for another time. These experiences build a lot of character, tough skin and skills that you cannot learn in a classroom.

As my freelance contract ends, I have had to sit down with my thoughts, fears, insecurities and reality. Reentering the job market, it is scary. Going from a full time job with a semblance of security, having health and dental benefits, to freelancing, hustling, sending hundreds of job apps, texts and emails a week, it is daunting. You don’t know where the next check is coming from or where  the next opportunity will come from, it puts fear into you. Especially when you keep getting rejected for jobs, opportunities and things you believe were for you.

I have never been one to share my current state with the world, maybe it's pride or the Nigerian mentality ingrained in me. I can take on the world, I don't need help. It's why I barely use LinkedIn. However, no man is an island. We all need help, we need an olive branch. Typing this even feels uncomfortable.

But there is always beauty in the madness. I am sure there is someone reading this feeling similar, trying to find hope in a hopeless world. Hold on. Keep fighting.

If you told me at 13, I would be able to work on the brands I have worked on, with the people I have worked with, I would laugh. But that is what we call life, a journey with varying routes to a destination.

We are more than numbers, we are more than our resumes, we have our stories, our talents, our strengths balanced by our flaws, paranoias and insecurity, that is the beauty of humanity.

Progress is not linear. Rejection is not bad. Some doors are closed for reasons. That opportunity wasn’t for you. That person was there for you to grow. Sometimes you need to step backwards, sideways and not always go forward to get to where you want.

Life is about pivoting and adapting.

Here’s to finding a job/opportunity soon. 🥂

[featherandferns]

Here's a snippet from my latest 18k fic!

“Hey, you’re Kie’s friend, right? That chick in the band?”

Assuming somebody’s talking to you, you look up, to the right, and come eye to eye with JJ. Your mouth instantly goes dry like the Sahara.

“Yeah,” you say. You’re trying to smile but it’s like the muscles in your face have gone lax. Why are you so Goddamn inept sometimes?

“I’m JJ,” he says, fixing his cap. “We met at The Wreck?”

“No, I know,” you tell him. You don’t mean for it to sound rude – merely stating a fact that of course you know who he is – but through your nerves, it sounds clipped. Like he’s bothering you.

JJ nods, a little awkward himself now. “No, yeah, of course.”

Just as you’re willing up the guts to apologise for your hopeless social skills, JJ’s filling the silence once more.

“You fish?”

“What?”

“Do you like fishing?”

What a weird question. “No.”

“Oh,” he says. He glances around. “Then…Why are you in a fishing shop?”

Oh. Yeah, duh.

“Oh, my dad does,” you say, lifting the list to show him. JJ’s eyes skim it briefly and he nods, quietly letting out an ‘ah’. “Asked me to pick some stuff up for him.”

Oh God, shut up.

“Well, this place is a pretty good spot to go for your gear,” he tells you.

“Do you fish?”

And, good job, you’ve managed to ask a normal question.

JJ smiles and it seems as if he’s relaxing into himself again. It makes you feel easier too; it’s always painful when your awkwardness rubs off on others, like the spreading of a disease.

“Yeah, I do. My whole family were fishermen and stuff. Can’t remember a time when I wasn’t fishing,” JJ says.

Whilst you prepare yourself to ask more about his family, and what sort of fishing he does, JJ’s flashing you a friendly grin and nodding down to your list.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to it. Hope you find everything.”

“Oh. Yeah, thanks. Um, you too,” you reply.

You final have enough control of yourself to smile at him. It might be your delusions contorting your perception, but you’re sure JJ’s smile grows a bit brighter when you do.

Turning away, you go back to staring hopelessly at the box in your hand. The front is raving about the benefits of this style of hook, reeling of jargon as if trying to impress a university professor. It’s useless. Not only are your thoughts now hijacked by overthinking everything you said in that conversation, and the fact that JJ Maybank spoke to you on his own agenda; you still haven’t learnt anything about fishing in the last five minutes. You’ll just get a receipt and your dad can come back and fix whatever mess you make of this seemingly easy errand.

“You gonna buy those?”

JJ’s still there, stood at your side. He’s looking at the box from over your shoulder. You look up to him.

“Yeah?”

“Those ones are pure crap. No, no, you want the good stuff,” JJ tells you, shaking his head.

He takes the box from your hand and replaces it with another, from a higher shelf. Tapping on the cover, he begins to read off some of the hooks’ perks (who knew there could be so many?).

“I mean, they’re a little more expensive but you get more bang for your buck, you know? Those other ones’ll snap after like four days on the water.”

When he looks back into your eyes, he must see the blank look behind them. He laughs. “Just trust me on this.”

“Okay,” you say, finding a laugh.

“Here, what else’s on your list?” JJ asks, taking the scrap of paper from you.

You don’t complain. Being in his orbit feels like you’re seeing the earth from space; even if it’s just him helping you buy fishing gear, there’s no way you’re going to pass up this opportunity.

Here's the fic here!

[hiiroamagisbestfriend]

oh my goodness a new writing blog! it looks like you specialize in angst, so could I maybe get some 2nd lead Mao?? does that make sense aklsdjalksj

A Star's Light that forever remains Unseen

w/ Mao Isara x GN! Reader

no need to worry! i think i got what you're trying to say! and it seems like mao will be my first angst fic here! i hope this is to your liking! also this is like, p long so yeah

Warnings: Angst, Unrequited Love, Lots of self loathing

Mao had always felt like there was something that other people had that he didn't.

Talent? Passion? Determination? Drive? Appearnce? Charm? Skills?

Objectively speaking, he had all of these, and a copious amount of it actually. But just because something is true doesn't mean it'll be seen that way.

Mao acknowledges it, he had to from the start. Almost everyone around him were just... so much better. Compared to the others, he might as well have been an ordinary boy with just a smidge of training.

But the worst part of it all, is that the people Mao had surrounded himself with were lightyears ahead of him. If his unitmates were the shining stars in the night sky, then he was simply nothing more than a stargazer trying to capture even a fragment of their beauty.

Hokuto, Subaru, and Makoto are supposed to be his closest friends, but why... why is it that they always seem to be so out of reach? No matter how hard he tries, it's like he can never ever catch up to them.

To really hammer things home, the other three seem to genuinely love and care for him as much as he does them. They only mean well when they acknowledge his insecurities, but they'll never truly understand.

How could they? No matter how hard they try to sympathize, their experiences are just too... different. Mao isn't a special pedigree like them, nor is he as insanely talented, the only thing they have in common is that they work hard.

But even then, they're worlds apart. What Mao has to practice for hours to get right they can get down in a few tries. Their faces and charms are something he can never hope to replicate.

It doesn't helpt that being told by a person who already has everything you wanted, that you can get what they have if you just work hard isn't as encouraging when Mao really thinks about it. Sure, they're just trying to encourage him, but all he can do is work hard.

Which he already does, but he's still only a fraction of the others. Is he just doomed to continue practicing for the rest of his life then? Just to try and scale a mountain with a peak he'll never get to stand on?

Did they even really need him? Was he just there to round out the numbers? Whatever it was that he could do, the others could do better. The three of them were blessed with that kind of luck after all. Mao doesn't hate his life, but sometimes, he really just wishes he too could see just what it is they can see from their views at the top.

He had resigned himself to that kind of life, being Trickstar's glue and support doesn't sound so bad, right? In the end, he'll still get to be an idol with his best friends, and he can stand proud as a person that can support them from the back.

As long as he can stand with his friends on stage and enjoy his youth, it doesn't really matter if he's not as good as them, right? He's still delivering smiles to the audience all the same, even if only a small portion of them come for him alone.

I'm supposed to be happy...

Sometimes, Mao would have these horrible thoughts. Like imagining what Trickstar would be like if one of the other three weren't there. Would he become more important? Would more people pay attention to him? Would he find the gap between him and the others as uncrossable as it is now?

Whenever he has these thoughts, he just feels absolutely awful. Trickstar is supposed to be the four of them. That was the promise they made that fateful night, but he was out here thinking that maybe his life would be better if one or two of them weren't around.

Hahhh... I really am hopeless.

Mao could only resign to his own patheticness. Would he still be like this even if he somehow catches up with them? Just cursed to always see himself as lesser? He hates it so much. He hates himself so much.

If only he could be as carefree as Subaru and Makoto, or as naive as Hokuto, maybe, just maybe, he would have had a chance to be happy the way they were. Yet here he was, cursed with the knowledge of his own inferiority.

Things changed when he met you, though. Like him, you were just another ordinary person. You weren't even an idol, yes, you were none other than Trickstar's appointed producer.

Seeing you, stand side by side with the people he's always considered forever out of his reach, it was like you were the bridge between a stargazer and his fellow stars.

Just your existence was enough to show Mao that he doesn't want to just stay behind them for the rest of his life. The things they'll experience, the sights they'll get to see, he can one day be just like them!

You were the one that showed him this light. This warm, gentle, light that made him feel like anything was possible. You were his guiding star. The one that would help him finally join his fellow stars for real.

Mao understood that this wasn't a coincidence. He wasn't one to really believe in things like fate, and destiny, but he just knows that meeting you was the most important moment of his life. Even though you probably didn't do it on purpose, you saved him from himself.

It didn't take long for Mao's admiration for you to blossom into full-blown love. It was because of you that he found the strength to keep trying. You were the reason that he can stand up everyday no matter how tired he gets, because he has to prove to you just how grateful he is for what you've done for him.

With just a small change in perspective, it was like the whole world around him changed. His future that always looked so bleak and depressing is now bursting full of light and opportunities. He could finally start laughing and enjoying life with his fellow unitmates as their equals; just as they've always seen him.

Things weren't going great with just his unitmates and friends though, he was also getting along quite well with you! There were a lot of things you had in common, and you always seemed to look out and care for him more than the others.

It was because of that kindness that Mao thought that maybe you felt the same way he did. Even though he still had his occasional moments of darkness, you were always there to hold his hand and lead him back into the light.

Gosh, if you keep treating me like this, I'll just fall even harder...

His life really was turning around wasn't it? Mao spends so much of his time nowadays just genuinely enjoying his youth, goofing off with the other Trickstar boys, facing the hardships of school life, things that seemed so monotonous and boring have now become his daily highlights.

Because of that, if there was one thing Mao wanted to do, it was to thank you.

Thank you, for saving me. Thank you, for giving me the strength to work towards my goal. Thank you, for giving me someone to devote my all to.

He decided that the greatest thanks he could give to you is just by being the best idol he can be everyday. He can have those moments where he trips and falls, but as long as he can stand up and hold his head high again, then he knows he can face you with a smile.

"Hey, (Y/N)... Is there anyone you like?" Mao asked you one day, when the two of you were alone in the practice room while waiting for the others.

"Hmm..." He watched you ponder on it for a few seconds, noting just how cute you looked when you were focused. "I guess I'd say I like you, Mao."

Huh?

Mao could feel the tips of his ears burn red, his mouth forming a small 'o' as he struggles to think of what to say. "Oh, but of course I also like Hokuto, Subaru, and Makoto! When I'm with you guys, it feels like everyday is so fun!"

Ah, so that's what you meant.

Mao feels a bit stupid for getting his hopes up, but he's honestly happy that he can have these kinds of silly moments rather than how he was before. You not liking anyone in particular also worked in his favor.

"Sari! (Y/N)! We're here!" Subaru burst into the room along with the others, the three of them quickly crowding to you as they always do. Mao aptly joins them, not wanting your attention to be placed solely on them.

It was while the five of you were talking that Subaru signalled Mao for them to have a little chat, away from the rest of you. Mao thought that it'd just be one of Subaru's silly shenanigans again, but decided to humor him this time.

When the two of them exited the room, Subaru quickly ushered Mao into a secluded corner. "Come on Sari, hurry up! They might get suspicious!" When Subaru determined that they were finally far enough, he took a deep breath, his face flaring up a bit. "I love (Y/N)!" He whisper-shouted.

Huh?

Subaru must have found the look on Mao's face funny, seeing as he was holding back his laughter. "Hellooo? Earth to Sari!! Did you hear me? Were you even listening?" Subaru was waving his hands across Mao's unresponsive eyes, snapping his fingers every now and then to try and get his attention.

"A-ah... Yeah! It was just a bit surprising, is all." Mao stammered out, his mind going haywire at what he just heard.

This is no good. No good at all. If Subaru confesses to them first, I'll have a snowball's chance in hell! What should I do? Should I tell Subaru? Do I tell him to lay off? But (Y/N) and him are friends too...

"Yeah, yeah! It was a shock to me too! I was just walking home yesterday when it suddenly came to me like... Bam!" Subaru was acting his usual cartoony self but Mao couldn't bring himself to even laugh at his friend's antics. "Still though, (Y/N) really is amazing! They've got us all, hook, line, and sinker!"

Mao's face darkened at that, it's not just Subaru, but Hokuto and Makoto too?! This can't be happening. Just when I was finally starting to get the courage to confess...

"W-why are you telling me this?"

"Because Sari is our friend! Of course we all have to start at even ground, right!"

"Even ground? What do you mean by that?"

"Well, the other guys really like (Y/N) too, so we thought that we might as well play it fair. No sabotaging or anything, that way, (Y/N) will happily pick who it is they truly love!"

Mao felt his knees get wobbly at Subaru's words. A pit formed in his stomach and he was finding it hard to breathe.

I can't... There's no way... I can compete... with them.

His hands started shaking as sweat dripped down his forehead. There has to be something he can do, anything! Losing you right now is the one thing he doesn't want to happen!

"The three of us agreed to seriously start courting them come tomorrow morning, so you better not pull anything sneaky, Sari! Hahaha!" Subaru laughed out loud as he skipped his way back to the practice room, leaving Mao all alone.

Mao was still just processing everything when his legs finally gave out under him. Dropping down to his knees with a thud. He really felt like he could start crying right about now, with how hot and stingy his eyes feel.

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

His mind became like that of a broken record, incessantly asking himself what he could possibly do in this situation.

For now, return to practice? Go home? Talk to (Y/N) in private? Ask the others to give up on you? Plead with you to not accept their feelings?

His mind was swarming with options, none of them seeming like the right one. Mao felt like his head was about to split when he felt someone's hand on his head.

"Mao, are you okay?"

Oh God, of all people he didn't want to see him like this. Of course you'd be the one to come around.

"Come on, Mao. You can talk to me, if you want?" Your voice is always so soothing. It almost made Mao forget the predicament he currently found himself in.

I can't afford to look pathetic now. But there's... nothing else I can do... Is there..?

Everything after that was a blur. The next thing Mao knew, it was already tomorrow and he was lying down in his bed. His alarm was blaring but he couldn't bring himself to stop it, just waiting for it to snooze itself eventually.

"Yeah, I'm fine! Sorry you had to come get me, I was just spacing out for a bit!" Mao could tell you didn't believe him one bit, but you still decided to accept that answer. "Let's go back, (Y/N)! The others... must be waiting for you!"

He stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours, not even moving an inch since he woke up.

By now, the other guys are probably talking to (Y/N). Yet here I am. I really am no good, am I...?

Mao felt the hot tears stream from his eyes down his face.

Nothing changed at all! I'm still the same pathetic loser who could never, ever catch up to those guys! Even when... Even when the person I love is at stake, I still can't do a single thing about it!

I was stupid to think that I actually changed! That I actually had a chance! You went and saved me, but I still can't do anything to pay you back!

Eventually, his eyes became incapable of crying. Only the sound of soft hics filling his darkening room.

I'm sorry.

WHAHAHAHAH did I do good? Once I started writing I just felt like I couldn't stop! It kind of deviated from the original prompt but I tried my best! I hope it's to your liking!

Likes and Reblogs are GREATLY appreciated!

[socialworkerbee]

4.30.23

I am struggling to come to terms with the fact that I will never be able to be as easily efficient at my work than most. I will always require more support (either from my own systems or others) than most of my peers. I will always have to work twice as hard at what I do to even meet the level of proficiency as my peers.

I want to be proud of myself for taking the steps to better myself, but at the same time, I can feel the exhaustion in my bones. I don't know how long I will be able to sustain myself in my profession.

Social work has been such an important field to me for the last few years and I am so passionate about the work I do and especially the diverse population I serve. But I don't know how long I can keep this up. And the knowledge that my career in social work is most likely going to be much shorter than I anticipated breaks my heart in a way I never even considered.

The onset of my epilepsy symptoms has changed my life and not necessarily for the better. It has made work and school much more difficult. It has robbed me of the late nights I loved. Mornings are sometimes easier and other times so much more challenging. I am dependent on medication and have to revolve my schedule around it. And some days, I will do everything right, and it still won't be enough.

I have been encouraged to reach out to an old professor of mine who has a TBI now. This wasn't something she had when I was a student. She has, apparently, had to readjust and make accommodations for herself in order to do the work that she does and has done the majority of her life.

I want to cry at how hopeless I feel sometimes. Maybe, if I just remind myself this is burnout, that it's temporary and fixable, and that I have the support of those around me, and the knowledge that I am doing what I can to help myself, maybe I can get through this. I have to believe things will get better.

Things have to get better.

But, I am also looking at other career paths. "I'm considering leaving this field," is pretty cheap talk for someone who has no other options. So, I looked at what I can do.

Writing has been a long standing passion of mine and I could stay in social work but focus more on the macro side of things. I am finding the more I engage in data clean up with my current job, the more I love it. Perhaps this is something I can get into. It is more straightforward than case management.

My therapist says no one likes case management because it is so hard. But, despite the challenges, despite the nightmares and unconquerable barriers, I love what I do. And I can't imagine doing much else.

I am finding I am also very interested in staff and client safety. I pushed to become a MANDT instructor. Perhaps, this is something I could propose to the University I graduated from. Perhaps, this could be offered as a rolling enrollment class. This could be something the students can earn and add to their resume, as well as providing them the tools and safety skills before going into their practicums.

Food for thought!

When I first started this blog, specifically the study diary, I never knew how helpful it would be. But I am finding that having a way to journal like this is an incredible way to vent and document my frustrations. I also feel like it can give a more realistic view of university life. So many blogs on here seem so polished and perfect for perfect students that it can be intimidating. I hope this little grungey blog of mine has helped ease some of the pressure.

[daviddshiki]

The Adventures of David Dashiki- Stories of an African American Hero-The CHARISMATIC MAN

Daddy Dashiki Has the Last Word for Black History Month

I speak to educate and uplift young Black men and... in America. I speak with a love you will understand. MY WORDS, I HOPE WILL TOUCH YOUR HEART, PRICK YOUR BRAIN AND MOTIVATE YOUR BODY TOWARD ACTION. My desire is that you will transform your mind, change your existence and improve your current condition I want you to excel. I want you to live extraordinary lives. I want you to be in command of your own destiny. I want you to be proud of your heritage. I want you to know how smart you are and that you can use that brilliance to move the Earth. I want...I want... I want...But, you are the ones who must do the work The fruit is here, eat of it.

IT'S YOU!... Are you

Are you in your twenties, late twenties, and still living at home? It's You. Are you unhappy at work? It's You. Do you have a vision that doesn't include you? It's You !!! Broke, sad, and feeling hopeless? It's You! Got an idea for a book or film, but, after several years, it is still in the idea stage? It's You! Do you have the sensation nothing changes around and about you? It's You! Won several Karaoke contests, however that is where it ends? It's You !

You can do better. Look and attack that problem of inactivity. Here come the insights for which you were hoping. Learn, the same way I was taught by J. J. Here is the fruit. Eat of it.

CHARISMATIC...

MANAGERIAL: You cannot provide leadership for others when you are not in control your own affairs. You must manage things. You must be able to see things in order. If they are not, put them into a system or formula. If you have little talent in this area of your life, GET SOME. Otherwise , you are just blowing smoke up someone's armpit. A friend constantly needs assistance. You try often to help with whatever the problem might be. Then, you discover that your problemed colleague can 't lift the toilet seat to ...sgffe . Start there. Explain what it is and how it functions.. THEN , You are half way there. I would love to be more graphic, but, I have the sensation that you are getting the message. Believe me, no matter how much you try to help, if you do not explain that it is a toilet bowl and you siuyiy in it, your friend will end up in it. Johnny always believed in organizing things. It was amazing how even his friends who were as thick as leftover beans endured the message, embarrassing as it was. All left the talk renewed. You are charismatic when you can help others manage their life in a manner that is clear, sometimes painful but meaningful. This was Johnny's most outstanding trait...making the managerial discussion palatable.

AWARE/ALERT: I want you David, to learn from Johnny that the world is constantly changing. A charismatic person/leader is aware of that and is continuously adapting to the those changes so that he does not become lost in himself and the prospects and possibilities of his own ego. It is the world to which we must adapt. Johhny always seemed to be ahead of the curve. His keenness in this area helped him avoid many disasters. Losing his scholarship could have been a catastrophe. However, when the rumor mill started about the termination of the football team, all of his friends rushed to tell him. They soon discovered that Johnny already had his ear to the ground. He was in conversation with alumni, friends and professors about his future. It was his determination and personality that secured a place for him in the same university that dissolved his team. Stay alert. It will save you much agony.

TIME: Use it wisely. Employ every second of your life in skill enhancement. Time lost is rarely if ever retrieved. Time waits for no man. Never leave for tomorrow...You know the drill. Build for what you want. Let not the day and time catch you wanting. Press on. Seize the time. Grow your skills. Then you can help others.

INVESTED: Set a goal that you will be totally involved. You are putting all your chips into the effort to change yourself so that you can better serve others. You will use all your assets and your efforts to serve. We don't need pretenders to the throne, We need doers. Make the declaration and then the dedication. You will be completely and fully invested in making yourself the fully charismatic man.

CHEAP/CRUSH: Neither lender or borrower be. Do not lend anyone any DINERO. Encourage him to seek employment. Direct him to a bank. Invite him to seek a loan but not from you. You, the charismatic man, has to be the cheapest man on the planet. You never want to be in the 'When am I going to get my money back contest' .People avoid those to whom they are in debt. You, charismatic man, begin to hate your protege. In short, the relationship fails because you did not have the courage to say that you are not a loan shark. Trust your Daddy, Do not borrow or lend. It turns to feces in the end.

CRUSH: Enter the arena of skill enhancement willingly and joyfully. Your goal is to not merely start it, but to CRUSH IT. Let the world know that you are in it to win it. There is no middle ground...Just CRUSH IT !

[bonbon-bonny]

^_^ Happy Chinese new year everyone! :D Today is Year of the Dragon! Chinese new year is one of my favorite holidays, and back when I was in my home country I used to either dance or do judo demonstrations for the festival they held for it. (back when I took Judo. ^_^; unfortunately on one such festival I needed to break a board, and I accidently knocked my sensei over because I didn't do it right. Boy THAT was a very embarrassing day.) Anyway since it is new years I thought it would be a good time to reflect on everything that has happened this year from where I started then to where I am now. Last year, before the new year started, I was in a very hard place. I was stuck in a job that constantly overworked me, and stressed me out only to barely make any money worth saving. I felt hopeless, lonely, and inadequate in every conceivable way. In order to try and cope I had started writing a story because I had always wanted to be a writer but never had any inspiration to write anything meaningful. So I said fine, whatever, I will write stories I enjoy, even if no one else does because at least at the end of the day whenever I was feeling down I could go back and read them and feel better because they'd definately be the kind of stories I enjoyed XD I had poured so much time and effort into this story and after I finished I felt much better, but also a bit sad. It still felt like my life lacked meaning because I was certainly too shy to show anyone my work. Still, I decided it might be nice to make it a picture book and put it out there so at the very least I could say one day I did something. ^_^; I tried on my own at first because I am used to asking for help and not receiving it, but I quickly realized I just couldn't do it on my own and so I set about connecting with people who had the skills I didn't, and with the very little money I had my writing began to turn into a storybook. But the most amazing part is that when I did reach out to people about my project, about what I cared so deeply about, people reciprocated. They didn't make fun of me, they didn't judge me or tell me that I was silly for wasting their time on my story. ^_^; even if i was paying them to provide a service, it still felt very nice to feel valued and seen. These people helped me out in more ways they could possibly ever know. They showed me kindness and compassion during a time in my life where I didn't feel as if anyone else did. Because of them I started to change my perspective. Throughout the year I had come across many valuable lessons that showed me that my thoughts and feelings mattered, my voice mattered, I mattered. Honestly there is simply too much to write to express all the lessons I have learned but perhaps the biggest, at least from my perspective, is that it's always important to express compassion and kindness as much as you can with others. You don't know what someone else is going through, even if they smile at you or hurt your feelings. So today on this New Years I might be in the middle of trying to move back to my home country, wondering about how I'll have to start working from the very bottom just to start my life all over when I'd rather spend my time volunteering, I am surprisingly much much more happy than I was last year. I'm not scared to look towards my future, because even if I'm not sure what exactly will happen next in my life, I know it'll be full of pastels and colors no matter how grey the world around me might seem sometimes. And of course I wouldn't be here today if it hadn't been for the help of those who grabbed my hand when I was desperately reaching out. Thank you so much everyone <3 Happy Chinese New Year!

[gambitedge]

So I’m not old by any standard other than my kids’, and probably other small people, but the more I think I grow and think I learn, the more inadequate I feel.

In fact, I’m confident I know less than I did yesterday, so most of the things I think or say have very little to do with my strengths and almost everything to do with simply noticing patterns of what works and what doesn’t.

That in itself even is a stretch, because often, I am only successful at living out what doesn’t work. In complete transparency, I don’t view myself as a failure. I have made enough mistakes for the population of an entire state, but I can occasionally do some things right.

I guess my point with all of this is that you probably shouldn’t put too much weight into my thoughts or ideas. Either way, I can’t stop you from adulting your own choices, so carry on.

Some things I notice or observe at an almost subconscious level, subtle nuances that I wouldn’t be able to name or list, even if I recognized what I was seeing. Fortunately, I have my moments, and there are rare instances where I can help a friend or someone I care for to see their world in a new way.

After that point of being shown an alternate path, the responsibility wishes heaviest on the searcher to coming to and grow in the process of modifying their world is you choose.

Hopefully I don’t sound full of my own ego. This concept, topic, and conversations have run scenarios in my close circle of friends recently.

I always want to know that I’m helping even if it’s only a small amount. I feel seep meaning and purpose when I have the opportunity and privilege to offer new directions and insight that might allow this person to grow into areas of life and themselves that they beforehand had only fantasized able.

In my opinion, everyone has a unique skill combined with vision and character to contribute to amazing creation and impact in the world. Sometimes we get stuck in a drain spiral fighting against where we don’t want to be, in order to more closely fit ourselves into where our contribution matters most.

Most of us simply give up on anything big and risky despite the passion and skill that person has. I’ve fought against the safe route my whole life, but I still can spin on ice about what it is specifically I do well to have the largest contribution in improving life for others.

All of this is like thoughts about a dream where the dream was a movie about thinking. I want to find that ability for myself that both provides financially to survive, but more importantly feeds my desire to have unique positive impact in the lives of others, especially when they feel lost or hopeless to get out of the pit they feel in.

Practical hope negotiator. Respond with a comment if you have any thoughts or questions. Do you agree or disagree with my soapbox fairy tails? Let me know as I’d love to understand with anyone else what drives you or what hopes you have for your or your family’s lives.

Until next time, toodles.

[multistoty]

@piratetrevelyan​

The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human.Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections. But there's something about the darkness, the stillness of this hour, I think, that creates a language of its own. There's a strange kind of freedom in the dark; a terrifying vulnerability we allow ourselves at exactly the wrong moment, tricked by the darkness into thinking it will keep our secrets. Hope couldn’t help a slight relenting of her facial expression at the dangers they could probably face though her sheepish smile didn’t fall from her upturned lips. Invite the lie to play until you become so comfortable with it that it feels like the truth. They could very easily die, but they also could get answers. And she was getting a bit tired of being stuck on the shelf. Why did he teach her sword work so heavily? And she had magic! That put the auburn haired mikealson princess apart from the others on this moral and physical fight for liberty among the supernatural world. She was certain the warrior was tired of playing babysitter to the heir to the throne when his strength with the sword was an undeniable fact proven by evidence. Every person has the power to change their fate if they are brave enough to fight for what they desire more than anything. Every story has four parts - the beginning, the middle, the almost ending, and the true ending. Not everyone gets a true ending. There are two types of endings because most people give up at the part of the story where things are the worst, where the situation feels hopeless. But that’s when hope is needed most. only those who persevere can find their true ending. Dreams that come true can be beautiful, but they can also turn into nightmares when people won't wake up. Her heart was still a little heavy, but she'd decided carrying it around would only make her stronger. The future knows what things we desire, unless there is something greater in our path that chases us away. He smelled of magic and heartbreak, and something about the combination made her think that despite what he claimed, he wanted to be her personal hero. She remembered her first impression of him, tall, roughly handsome, and dangerous, like poison dressed up in an attractive bottle. Invite the lie to play until you become so comfortable with it that it feels like the truth.She loved the feeling of doing something bold enough to make her future hold its breath while she closed her eyes and reveled in the sensation that she’d made a choice with the power to alter the course of her life. The air tasted like wonder. Like candied butterfly wings caught in sugared spiderwebs, and drunken peaches coated in luck. Magic awaiting the princess and her companion sword. The blood red dress in the latest court fashion lay in binding fashion against the exspanse of her waist and the curve of her breast in both modesty and seduction. Soft to the touch and slightly dark like a blush against the delicate ivory skin of someone’s cheek. “Can we investigate if I promise not to die? I mean really, for some one who is such a skilled warrior and proud of his training, you are as much like my father attempting to keep me up in a castle like some pricelss dish placed on a shelf. He can’t kill you if I come back and plead the case. If we suceed you will be even more of a hero for our realm and my father will have nothing to say. He shouldn’t have anything right now. You didn’t save my mother, but you got me out of there. And paranoia driven or not, he adores me which puts you as the front lines of my form against attack in a certain amount of favor. If you don’t think your star pupil who I heard you call by her actual name the other day can handle this, maybe I should search after a duke or a squire. I wouldn’t have kept such a gentleman all this time even if he is a lot less sufferable then most.”

[askaborderline]

hello, i'm looking for some advice. i've been struggling to get over a previous fp (we were very close friends for 6 years and they were my fp the entire time) and was wondering if you guys would have any tips on how to cope. i'm sorry if this is a little vague, i don't feel very up to talking about my past with them

Hi anon,

This sounds really hard, and I am sorry. Losing a FP can be so beyond words.

Some things I like to remind myself are:

The feelings are temporary. They will pass. No matter how crushing they may be, you won't feel like this forever. Sometimes it can help to remember that what we're feeling is temporary because when we forget that and think it's how we're going to feel forever, it can make us feel so hopeless. So here's your reminder. This isn't forever,.

You survived without them before, and you can do it again. I promise. It doesn't mean it'll be easy but it can help to have the reminder that we existed before then, and survived before them and we can do both of those things again.

Be kind to yourself. You are valid and you are allowed your emotions.

Healing is not linear. Grief isn't linear. And for a lot of us, when we lose our FP, it is something we need to heal from. It is something we grieve about. And it's okay if we feel ourselves doing better for a bit and then falling back. It doesn't mean you've failed or anything like that.

Some things I do:

Note that these are all personal things I do and aren't rules for how you should cope. I'm sure your own list will differ!

Focus on myself. Even when it's uncomfortable and I don't want to, I focus on my hobbies. I focus on finding new hobbies. Sometimes I make a list of different hobbies I've never tried, and then I go through it and try them at least once to see if I enjoy something. If not, it gets scratched off. These could be new shows, books, activities, etc.

Feel the emotions. Usually not all at once because it's too much, but my instinct is to bury the emotions. To turn my emotions off entirely ((I'm sure others relate to the turning them off thing. It's like a switch I can use). And it's uncomfortable, but sometimes I force myself to feel them. In bits as I can handle it. Allow yourself time to grieve.

Focus on my DBT skills like Urge Surfing for any urges that arise or Radical Acceptance for accepting my feelings.

Come up with a Crisis Plan in case I start to spiral.

I diversified my relationships. I think this is an important thing to do. Even if you have a FP currently. Diversifying your relationships to have other people in your support system can be really good.

This is a personal choice, but I cut off all ties. I kept screenshots of messages they wrote assuring me they cared and stuff like that. I deleted all screenshots. I also made sure I couldn't look at their profiles and check on them. I made sure their numbers were deleted and anything else.

I like to do nice things for someone else. It's hard sometimes to get there, but there's a feeling I get when I make someone smile or help someone out that makes me feel a bit lighter. It reminds me that I am valuable as I am. This is actually a part of the ACCEPTS skill if you're interested in reading more about that.

Work on forgiving myself. Maybe you don't feel you need this, and that's valid. But I did. I had to learn to forgive myself for not knowing better, for making mistakes, and I always remind myself that I am human. In connection with this, I work on letting go of any regrets I have. It's easier said than done, I know. It's important for me to remember that I can't change the past, so dwelling on any regrets doesn't help me. What I can do is learn from them and do better.

I know it's hard, anon. But it really does get better. I have lost FP's and thought the entire world was ending and that I would never recover. I still think about them sometimes, but it's such a dull ache that I barely notice it. It might always hurt a little, but it will be manageable.

Here are some other coping ideas for you.

You can do this anon,

April

[punkpandapatrixk]

Romance, self-development, spiritual awakening; what have you—your Higher Self is here to reorient your compass~🧭This PAC is relaying a sense of Love towards yourself (first and foremost), which subsequently assists you to become a vibrational match to the person destined to share a harmonious, soulmate type romantic connection with you~💖

[Back to Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

Pile 1 - Get Ready to Get Busy, and Happy~!

10 of Cups, 4 of Wands, 7 of Wands & Priestess of Shine

Don't they say we must be patient as everything works out in Divine Timing? This is it! The time for you to Shine has come. You now have all the necessary skills to impress and make your breakthrough🤩Had this chance come about earlier, you wouldn't have done as wonderfully—trust that! For such a long time now, you've been so emotionally unfulfilled. Seems like you've been struggling and working and improving yourself—including going through shadow work and healing yourself spiritually—but true emotional satisfaction was still nowhere to be felt. You've wondered if there would ever be an end to this desolate feeling.

Here it is. The Gate of Happiness is opening up! All you've worked for ain't for naught. FYI, sometimes people become a coward before the gate towards happiness; maybe because they've been let down so many times throughout their period of struggles. Can't blame that, right? It's not your fault that you're scared. But here's a message from your HS to remind you to not cower when the chance arises. Haven't you been wanting this for a long time? For the sake of your own happiness, don't sabotage this chance!

Down this road, you're gonna get so busy with new preoccupations and some things may be a little troublesome. But it's worth all of the troubles because this endeavour: 1. is in alignment with your Soul's Purpose, or 2. is something temporary that gets you closer to your Destined Life Path anyway. At any rate, you're gonna get so busy, but also happy! This is the kind of busyness that's worth your Life Force~🫀Oh, and... if you're not there yet, this is the road that's gonna lead towards meeting your Destined Person. So~don't cower before the Gate of Happiness💖Kick that fucking door open if you must!

Little sparkles of Shine~🔻🧡

If, and if, you find yourself scared of even trying your luck in whatever endeavour is on your mind, think it this way:

Whatever the result may be, at least you took action, and that's proof enough of your not betraying your Soul's desires.

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 - Transform; Don't Look Back Anymore!

6 of Cups, XVI The Tower, 2 of Pentacles Rx & Priestess of Inspiration

As I was turning the cards and finishing taking their pic, the song Ready For Your Love by Gorgon City came up on my shuffled playlist. There's this part of the lyrics that resonated like a bomb even before I began channeling:

I'm ready for the start of something new/I'm ready to depart from what make me blue/I'm ready for my heart to let you through/But most of all, most of all/I'm ready for your Love~ do woop do woop

The lyrics in bold, my friend, is the reason The Tower card sits in the middle of your pile. Since you're ready anyway (you've been ready for a while now) this is more of a message of encouragement from your HS. That lil boost of confidence by acknowledging you're down the right path. You're gonna change your Life, right? Don't let reminiscence of the past hinder your progress. Plus, this PAC being the last part of this whole... Destined Person series(?) wants to let you know that you're only getting closer to them the further you go down this path🎉

The Tower card traditionally brings a sense of hopelessness for its message of destruction, but in your case, you can literally use the power of lightning to your advantage. Be that magician and power up your engine with the force of nature!⚡️Basically, this means you can work harmoniously with the benevolent will of the Cosmos, made clear through your connection with your HS🌞So long as you don't resist, your process should be easy...er.

It's only natural that you lose some people during the process of transformation, but who's to say you're gonna end up alone? In fact, you're making space for your Soul Fam members to come into your Life. I see a lot of cheer ahead of you! I think there's a quote that says something like, butterflies don't chill with caterpillars anymore. It's okay, you're turning into a butterfly, let the caterpillars blossom at their own pace, too. This pile's message is quite short, but an additional message can certainly be found in this PAC: ♥︎How You’ll Recognise Your Soul Fam

Little sparkles of Inspiration🔻💜

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 - Keep to Yourself and Build Your Kingdom!

5 of Pentacles Rx, Ace of Pentacles Rx, Knight of Pentacles & Priestess of Energy

-To think you've got all Pentacles (earth energy) and here's a hardworking Capricorn girl, Winter, in the picture🤯-

Whatever your dominant sign may be, I think this pile attracts people with strong Water placements. Maybe something like a lot of (or a few but important) planets in the 12th House, and the like. Basically, you have so much spiritual energy which you're still learning to manage. If you identify with being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), even an empath, even more a Starseed, you may have this natural attractiveness to terrifyingly parasitic human beings. Something about your Watery energy is needed by those zombies who can't do anything to help themselves. And being so kind, you give and give of yourself until you run dry.

Your HS wants you to start taking responsibility of your own Life Force and keep to yourself! As you learn to take responsibility for your own capabilities and limitations, so will you learn that other people are JUST equally responsible for their own life choices. You can't save anybody, each one of us saves ourselves by the choices we make. Other people, at best, can only inspire us to take action! Remember that well. It's necessary to start implementing this mindset now because your HS is urging you to manifest your highest possible Destiny.

Destiny may sound like a destination, but contrary to popular understanding, your Destiny is not a place you arrive to after a great struggle. Destiny is essentially constantly created and recreated, reorientated, recalibrated as you make daily choices. Of course, if you somewhat stray or decelerate, your HS and team of Spirit Guides are gonna help you return to balance, so you can manifest the highest possible good in your Reality. If you continue to entertain other people's demands and expectations and sacrifice your own authenticity, that affects your manifestation. But the problem here is that you're always manifesting (you're simply too powerful not to manifest instantly), so in effect, other people's low-quality emanation of energy helps you manifest low-quality everyday reality.

Right now, your HS wants you to really think about this!🍱

Little sparkles of Conviction!🔻❤️

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[bobbys-naughty-corner]

Braiding your hair

Bokuto, ushijima, tendou, x poc!f!Reader

(I have 4c hair. So you can imagine how hard it would be for anyone to even attempt to style it.)

“How long does it take?” Ushijima stares at the back of your head as you braid your hair. He’s been dying to touch your curly afro. He knows how much you doesn’t like when people touch your hair so he keeps his hands to himself. He doesn’t understand that he’s an exception because he respects your boundaries. “I don’t know maybe a hour or two.” You tell him and you finish your small braid, starting another part in your scalp. “Do you ever tangle your fingers?” He asks you. Braiding is hard and braiding your own hair is even harder. But why go to a salon when you could do it on your bedroom floor for free and in the comfort of your own home. Despite the trail and error of a perfect part you have not tangled your fingers. “No babe, Would you like to try?” You ask him. He shakes his head, he doesn’t want to ruin your hard work in anyway. It looks so hard and he’s sure he couldn’t do it like you. He’s scared he might pull to hard or even knot your hair. So many errors can happen with his big hands he doesn’t want to risk it. He just truly enjoys watching the process.

Bokuto knows how to braid. He’s learned from his mom and sisters at a young age. But when he sees you braiding your hair it was a whole new ball game. Of course he offers to help. Confident in his own small skill. Unprepared for what’s to come. He didn’t know about stretching, he was so unfamiliar with your hair texture. Your thick hard was so confusing to him he had knotted your hair a few times. Inevitably he was defeated by you curls. He lost so bad he sulked in bed while you picked out the knotted braid he made. He felt useless, dumb, ignorant. Obviously he was none of those things. You taught him as carefully as you could. “Take your time and look at what you’re doing.” You watched his reflection in the mirror to make sure he’s doing it right. “A good grip is key.” Each tip you gave him made him work harder. “Don’t pull so hard, my head isn’t going anywhere.” “Sorry.” He apologizes with a laugh. He was so cute. Completely in the zone. Trying his best to make it look as good as yours. Sometimes he was pouty when he couldn’t finish one without you taking over but he smiled proudly every time you congratulate him on a full braid. “Yeah, just like that!” After multiple braiding sessions he was above beginner level. Able to even part your hair too. He’d beg to braid your hair after you washed it. He loved feeling your soft curls and was fascinated in how it could shrink so much just from water. He wished his hair was like yours, he’d never stop touching it.

Tendou gets his fingers tangled, all the time. He’ll beg to help you, countless times. No matter how much you tell him no. Sometimes he’ll just get started. Sitting behind you and grabbing the comb right out of your hand and pretending he knows exactly what he’s doing. Makes a random part that isn’t even clean or straight. He always curves for an unknown reason. And what can you do? He just wants to be helpful, honest to God. He has no ill intention and really wants to learn. Unfortunately braiding hair isn’t for everyone. His long fingers just couldn’t get the hang of it. They get in the way, he doesn’t know where to twist, his method is flawed and as much as you tried to fix it it was hopeless. You have to help him out of his mess and tell him to wash his hands. When he comes back he just sits around you, getting closer every two minutes of so. Finally seated right in front of you, talking to you as you do your hair. It’s not like you were able to do your hair properly at first. Everyone starts somewhere and some people just have to practice harder. ((Question: would you continue to teach him every time? I have patience but to a certain extent and if he kept trying to do my hair and messing up I’d probably yell at him (and feel terrible about it).))