#sometimes a post is so funny that it gives you that transcendent experience that art does

[scaredgirlsilly]

yes i do consider posting an artform. im not good at it but some people are so good at it that i get the same feeling of when i read a good story where im like "i wanna do that someday,,,,"

[comeandreadawhile]

Clone Social Media : Hobbies

The phenomenon starts with the intention to show the civilians of the Republic the men behind the armor, as well as an encouragement for the men to do the things they enjoy when they have the time to in lieu of sitting around cleaning weapons for a third time that day.

Scratch that—the phenomenon starts with High General Kenobi, on a rare day of leave, teaching his Marshal Commander how to bake. Said Commander’s men were happy to taste test the flurry of experimental confections that pervaded their leave days in the following months. News spread fast of Marshal Commander Cody having a knack for baking, and so followed the spread of troopers attempting to make their own treats and/or branching off into other things the civilians called “hobbies” whenever what they could get their hands on afforded them.

The phenomenon kicked off when Padawan Commander Tano began a social media account with the intention of using it as a public diary, her first post was a picture taken of some of the 501st—with permission, her caption says—as they went about retouching paint scuffed in their most recent battle. The men are relaxed, some with paint smeared on their hands and cheeks and seemingly reacting to some joke or story told outside the threshold of the camera, and it’s an almost startling difference from the image of rigid lines of men, faceless in their full kits of white plastoid, that the civilians are used to. Tano’s second post is a video clip of one Captain Rex, with one General Skywalker sitting on his back counting reps, doing push-ups; the video was captioned “Another day in the G.A.R., restless in hyperspace.”

The digital diary continues from there, videos and pictures of specific locations posted only after reaching a safe distance to do so, never sharing anything mission critical—past, current, or hypothetical future. Eventually she shows the men under her how to make their own accounts, and other Jedi and their own troops follow suit. The 212th then takes it upon themselves to post pictures of the little cakes their Marshal Commander has gotten so proficient at making, and, when General Kenobi creates a joint account titled “command_212”, convince Cody to post pictures of things he bakes before they are distributed—even in the process of baking, if the fancy strikes him.

So Marshal Commander Cody shares pictures of his experiments, of recipes he finds that turned out well, of recipes that didn’t because of some error or other that he’s determined to give another go, with the occasional cryptid picture of General Kenobi taking his tea in the barrack’s kitchen. As time goes on those pictures shift to Obi-Wan covered in flour, or a shot taken from several feet away of Cody sneaking batter captioned “caught red-handed in the red velvet”.

As Marshal Commander of the 212th has taken to baking to relieve stress, the Commander of the 104th has turned to needlecraft and yarnwork.

The 104th retaliate the populatrity of the 212th’s command account with the domesticity of their own, despite the vaguely threatening possibilities of knitting and sewing needles. Boost and Sinker run the majority of the account, although all OG members of the 104th have access to it; they post pictures of the things Wolffe makes them, of General Plo covered in the lengths of scarves he’s received, of Comet in the ever-growing swath the gifted blankets with the current tally in the caption (his toes were off the floor by blanket burrito 6). The holonet at large loves Plo almost as much as his men, and once a week they post him saying some piece of sage wisdom—or utter nonsense, as the mood strikes—as the war goes on. After months of asking for a face reveal and requests for the patterns people are sure Wolffe uses, they make the most Force-forsaken tutorial videos as an all-in-one series.

“HOLY **** HE’S CASTING ON 12 TO START—“ “WHAT A MAD MAN!”

“So when you get to this row here you’re going to knit 3, purl 3–“ “TRANSCENDENT!” “—yes, thank you, and then keep doing that until you reach the end of the row...”

“Oh, OH MAN HE’S GONNA DO IT!” “HE’S GONNA CHANGE COLORS!” “Holy **** man he’s gonNA YOOOOOOOOOO!”

Cody is then issued a challenge by the holonet to learn to knit. He learns to crochet. Because Obi-Wan knows how to crochet. The holonet loves video snippets of them progressing on projects together. They also love the videos Ahsoka posts of Cody attempting to teach Rex, and praise the absolutely completely unrelated hat she later posts a picture of; it covers her Montrals with enough room for a few years’ growth. Anakin gets yarn stuck in his mechanical hand because he forgot to put his glove on before attempting to craft.

The real throwdown happens when the account for the Coruscant Guard posts videos of Fox aggressively tatting while venting about the lack of funding for proper security and surveillance tech.

Each posts sees a comical increase in the surfaces covered in lace doilies and runners, as well as a new topic for Fox’s venting.

A picture of an pillow embroidered with “Kriff the Seppies” is briefly posted to the 104th’s account before being taken down and replaced with a censor bar. Rumors begin to circulate when Senator Chuchi posts a picture wearing a gifted lace shawl; Senator Amidala comments on her confusion being resolved as to why Riyo kept bringing little baskets of crochet thread with her before a senate meetings.

A competition for ship nose art starts up, many votes going to the 501st, and the holonet’s heart once again melting at “Plo’s Bros”. Personal art begins popping up soon after. Fives starts posting spray paint tutorials, Rex and Hardcase become popular for clean graphic art. Bly gets his hands on metallic paint and the crowds go wild. Kix has taken his clean haircut game to the next level.

And then Colt and Shaak Ti make an account to post art the Littles make, most of them representations of their older brothers with wishes of safety and good luck, and of the only Jedi they’ve ever known, sometimes creatures they studied in their preparation for worlds outside of Kamino. Of batches passing their final tests with a congratulatory post.

Suggestions and instructions are sent out for clones who want to take and sell commissions, allowing them to finally make some money; most Jedi are more than happy to help make sure the finished work mails out properly to the buyers.

Ships of the non-nose art kind surface on the holonet. It’s generally agreed upon that command_212 is run by husbands, and Aayla is the protector of the 327th and Bly’s heart, even if she’s a clumsy menace around his artwork (caf spilled over a drying watercolor can be interesting or terrible depending on the circumstance). No one can agree whether Skywalker is married to his captain or Senator Amidala, but everyone agrees that Ahsoka is their baby. The holonet declares Plo to have Big Dad Energy. Shaak Ti’s Big Mom Energy is a friendly rival. The Jedi council has made no official statement denying or denouncing these attachments.

Public interest begins to shift from producing more soldiers to making sure the ones the Republic has stay alive, when the realization hits that within a couple of years the children posting art and losing teeth would probably be losing blood and brothers on some far away planet. Of making sure the men are eating well instead of just surviving. Well certain account-holders don’t post for a while, grieving a loss, posting again to reassure their followers they’re alright, the public questions what’s being done to keep the men emotionally and mentally well outside of the hobbies the public knows them for. “Born to handle any stress” is very much the wrong answer.

Pressure is put on the Chancellor to let the Separatists sucede, no one quite sure anymore why allowing them to would be harmful when at worst new trade agreements would need to be brokered; if they want to leave so badly, let them. And let the men have their hobbies.

(Sad thoughts ahead)

Sometimes commissioners never receive their orders, simply a refund with a letter from that clone’s Jedi after the latest battle ends. Any money they’d made would be split however their closest brothers decide.

The channel that always posts pranks and spray paint tutorials makes a post saying they’d be away to look after their sick little brother. It’s the last post they make.

The Coruscant Guard’s account stops posting a few nights later.

After Order 66 goes out, a new account goes up posting any pictures and cute videos of Aayla. Reposting old ones that the public is sure they’d seen somewhere before, posting new ones of funny faces and ridiculous videos of silly dances. The last one is the only one captioned, “she wasn’t a traitor.”

The account is deleted the same night, and the one of the 327th’s adventures never posts again.

Wolfpack_104 does not post, but is still there.

Command_212 is deleted almost immediately the night of the order.

Years go by, almost sixteen, and only after Vader already knows she’s alive does Ahsoka post again. It’s a picture of her, and Rex and Wolffe onboard the Ghost in hyperspace captioned “Was never a traitor. Always the little sister even if I’m four years older. In case you’re wondering, Rex still draws and Wolffe still knits when we can nab the string and flimsi.”

[filmstruck]

Time to Play FUNNY GAMES by Nathaniel Thompson

Something a lot of moviegoers have to struggle with is deciding how they feel about a film that absolutely, positively doesn’t want to be loved. The term “feel bad movie” was even coined to describe films that are deliberately alienating, infuriating, depressing or even boring. Of course, everyone’s mileage will vary; for example, some people felt an elevated transcendence watching REQUIEM FOR A DREAM (‘00), while others hated it with every fiber of their being. There’s no right or wrong response here; it’s all part of the complicated and fascinating process of how we consume art.

For me, I can’t think of a director who gives me a tougher time than Michael Haneke. The German-born filmmaker has built his career out of regarding humanity like specimens under glass, including his audience. He finds a stimulus, gets a response and then finds a way to jab deeper to get a more intense reaction from his characters and his audience, often pushing them to the breaking point. Sometimes I love the results he gets from this approach, especially his post-2000 work like THE PIANO TEACHER (‘01), THE WHITE RIBBON (‘09) and AMOUR (‘12). Others leave me feeling annoyed or scratching my head, though that isn’t to say that a repeated viewing might not change things.

And then there’s FUNNY GAMES (‘97). Oh, FUNNY GAMES. Is it possible to greatly admire a film, find it fascinating and have it linger in your memory for years, and yet deeply resent it at the same time? If so, this one is at the top of the heap for me. Here Haneke takes aim at the way people watch and process violent entertainment, with an unspoken but very clear allusion to horror movies. The film feels like a reaction against films like HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER (‘86), STRAW DOGS (‘71) and LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (‘72) with its harrowing chronicle of a nice, normal nuclear family invaded and gradually torn apart by a couple of sadistic sickos in tennis clothes. Haneke has no interest in generating pulpy thrills here, but then again, the film’s predecessors had more on their mind as well than just torturing their characters. It’s the torture part, both physical and emotional, that Haneke is really examining here with his two villains addressing the camera directly and trying to implicate the viewer by questioning why they would watch something like this… and why they won’t do something to help the victims. It’s an interesting gambit, or a stunt if you want to view it that way, that clearly means to flatter the more critically-oriented people out there in the theater seats, but it also makes assumptions about genre cinema that become a huge problem if you’re more than passingly familiar with horror films.

I’ll try to avoid spoilers here for those who haven’t seen the film, but it’s difficult to discuss without at least hinting at two of the most infamous moments in this film. The first is a tragic, brutal event that occurs at the end of the second act, with Haneke’s camera lingering on the static aftermath in excruciatingly long detail, making Tarkovsky seem like a case of A.D.D. by comparison. My interpretation is that we’re supposed to be parsing out our feelings in what amounts to a very dark sort of meditation; as the characters try to process what’s happened with the camera refusing to move and the actors staying in the same spot, it turns into a Rorschach test where we’re meant to project our own responses onto the screen. It’s an interesting concept, but it also treads that fine line between artistic exploration and viewer exploitation as it essentially batters our emotions for a reaction; if you don’t respond like the event clearly wants you to, the effect can be distancing and somewhat distasteful. Then again, maybe that’s what he was going for. Haneke’s a tricky fellow sometimes. A similar tactic is used near the end of the notorious French horror film MARTYRS (‘08), which locks the camera down for a pitiless wide view of a central character being tortured at length, basically beating the viewer down as well until we’re pulverized enough to accept the truly daring and, for me at least, remarkable terrain the story treads into for its final stretch. If you tried to watch both films back to back, you might need to go into therapy for months just to get over it.

Then there’s the fact that the two psychopaths are all too aware that they’re in a film, repeatedly breaking the fourth wall and referencing things like genre conventions and running time. This hits a highpoint during an action at the climax that’s become something of a make or break moment for many viewers, a deliberate sabotaging of what the audience wants and expects done in the most sadistic way possible. (Hint: it involves a piece of TV equipment.) I’ve seen people actually give a middle finger to the film at this point, and with good reason. Whether this statement (or nose tweak, depending on your perspective) on how we root on violence under certain circumstances is a valid one is a tantalizing idea. However, if it’s supposed to be a scolding against people who watch violent horror and action films, that’s where things get sticky. Any sane viewer knows the difference between simulated and real violence; no one watching a slasher film or a shoot ‘em up wants real people to feel pain, let alone die, and the thrill of seeing a bad guy dispatched at the end of a story is something that goes back to the very dawn of storytelling. If this film deliberately sets itself up to be as naturalistic as possible and sets up its evildoers to be as reprehensible as possible, it’s pretty disingenuous to wag your finger at the viewer for wanting to see some payback.

So, did Haneke’s experiment achieve anything in the long run? I still honestly don’t know. The shot-for-shot English remake with Naomi Watts from 2007 was fine, albeit completely unnecessary apart from the way it showed how much its shock value had diminished in the ensuing decade of home invasion and European extreme horror films. Haneke’s film was considered shocking and even dangerous when it opened, though now in the wake of some of his thematically related films (especially 2005’s CACHÉ, a significant entry in between his two versions of the story), it’s easier to assess as a key entry in his cinematic looks at how society can twist and distort what we think of as the secure family unit and normal behavior. The violence may not be quite as harrowing now, but the central thesis of this film is still an uncomfortable one. So all that said, this movie still makes me a bit angry. And that’s not only a good thing, but probably a necessary one.

[izastar]

Mental Health Month

Hello there bright beautiful stars! I hope you’re having a very good day and remember to take good care of yourself. If not, take a deep breath for 4, hold it for 4 and exhale for 4. Unclench your fists and jaw, drop your shoulders, and lay back!

It’s the month for Mental Health and my stars do I have a master list for you. I am currently a second, onto my third year, college student.  Before college my self care was pretty much everyday because of the low intensity of high school. Now.. I admit I do some pretty down spiraling things and have had my share of breakdowns. BUT NOW I’m not saying it’s gone, I still have my days. I just wanted to share a couple of things that have given me a more healthy way of dealing with the stress, homesickness, sadness, etc. I am a very passionate person on advocating for self-care, mental health and well-being. So here’s a couple of things that have definitely lifted my spirits and how many little things can make a difference.  

Apps: As a generation based on technology, figured it could be useful!

Aloe Bud

Aloe Bud is an all-in-one, self-care pocket companion. It gently brings awareness to self-care activities, using encouraging push notifications, rather than guilt or shame. Helpful reminders from yourself, to yourself; saved within Aloe Bud so you can keep doing you. I kid you not, I am so busy and forget that I never to remember to eat on time but this app helps me track that along with taking my birth control on time too!

Eternal Sunshine

Daily inspiration, meditation exercise and inspiration podcast. This app is the cutest, most wonderful app I have current. The quotes I post from time to time are from this app. Every quote, mantra, affirmation is beautiful. It brightens up my day every day. ALSO! Some of these quotes, and stuff have actually inspired some of my work and I hope it can too for you poets, writers, artists, etc.

Flo

This is for my lovely stars that have to deal with periods!! This is a period tracker and ovulation calendar. It’s has pregnancy and post pregnancy mode where you can track your baby’s development and learn the essentials of being a parent with special visuals and articles!! They also have daily insights, timely reminders and a community. I just love this because I never track her & I actually like to read the articles they have and the insights they do based on my symptoms etc.

Oak

Oak helps you decompress by transforming meditation practices from experiments into habits. They support you from your first session to your 500th, with mindful, loving-kindness, and sleep meditations as well as unguided sessions and breathing exercises. Individualize your meditations by duration, and customize with silence or calming background sounds. Oak tracks your progress and encourages you to continue building a healthy meditation practice. They include meditation, breathing, sleep, meditation timer, and progress tracking. Truth be told I have a hard time sleeping so I use this app for breathing exercise before going to bed and it helps a tremendous amount.

Simple Habit 

Another meditation app!! Simple Habit is the best meditation app for busy people. Meditate for just 5 minutes/day to reduce stress, improve focus, sleep better, relax faster, breathe easier, and more. I use this app for when I really don’t have anything BUT 5 mins and I actually really enjoy the meditation.

#SelfCare

This app is just where you can interact with things within the room, e.g. plants, the cat, clothes on the floor, anything in the room. If for those who are staying home for the day, your space, our shelter. It’s really cute I saw. I love the colors and the art and the activities.

Books: They can always be useful, whether for coloring, writing in a journal, or reading!

Creative Haven Spring Scenes Coloring Book 

An effective and fun-filled way to relax and reduce stress. This version specifically is beautiful. I love Spring and I love flower and anything and everything nature and green so this is a LOVELY purchase! 

The have other themes too;  Summer Scenes, Celtic Mandalas, Sea Life, etc.

How to Be a Wildflower: A Field Guide

A fresh perspective, an outdoor exploration, a new adventure about to begin—How to Be a Wildflower is the book to celebrate these and other wide-open occasions. Encouraging self-discovery through encounters with nature, beloved artist Katie Daisy brings her beautiful paintings and lettering to this collection of things to do and make, quotes, meditations, natural history, and more. OKAY SO I JUST BOUGHT THIS BUT IT’S SO CUTE :(

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

Milk and Honey is a collection of poetry and prose about survival. About the experience of violence, abuse, love, loss, and femininity. Okay listen I’m sure many are tired of these books but I truly love this book. I love the collection of poems. I love how some make you cry, some give you hope and other inspire you. For me seeing how others grow, glow, sometimes fall, but come up is beautiful.

The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur

This is Rupi Kaur’s second collection of poetry book. This one is vibrant, transcendent journey about growth and healing. Again I know most are tired of these or feel as if they are overrated but I just love the little pictures/doodles and how some are long and short yet so meaningful.

The Wildflower's Workbook: A Journal for Self-Discovery in Nature

Brimming with gorgeous artwork from New York Times bestselling author and artist Katie Daisy, this fresh-as-a-daisy guided journal features thoughtful prompts to encourage engagement with the natural world. From bird-spotting advice to camping checklists, each exercise is executed in the artist's lovely signature style. AGAIN this is so pretty and I just bought it but I KNOW I’m gonna love it so much.

Hobbies To Pick Up: Here mare some that I picked up or am in the process, it’s fun to learn something new and you never know how good you could be at something!

Baking/Cooking

I’m not the best baker but I always feel so warm and fuzzy when other people bake for me. Don’t you love that happiness you give to others? Doesn’t that make you happy? This might be a little hard to start off with if you’re scared of burning something down or ruining food. But don’t fret my little stars, failure is only a part of success and who knows even a funny story to tell!!

Creative writing

Short stories, prompts, even just a sentence or two could really make a difference! I do a lot of creative writing, give yourself even ten minutes just to write whatever you’d like, it’s a nice feeling

Drawing/doodling/sketching

Listen I’m not one who strays from stick figures but every ONCE in a while I like to sketch something that I just can’t find online for my stories or prompts, etc. Practice makes perfect and give yourself patience.

Dancing 

Who says people with 2 left feet can’t dance?? I don’t have 2 left feet and not to toot my horn but I have good rhythm.. but STILL don’t let comments like those discourage you. Dancing can be something fun.

Exercising/hiking/biking  

Believe it or not exercising can be a hobby and it can be fun! Spice it up and sign up for a class! Enjoy the great outdoors! Nature to me is the best stress relief!

Gardening

I currently own 18 plants in my dorm room... it’s a LITTLE bad. I breath so much better with them in my room and they are so cute to look at and take care of! Start off with something small like succulents or bamboo!

Journaling

I promise it will make you feel better if you’re someone who likes to do things like this. You can make so many lists like for gratitude, places you want to travel, people who are currently crushing on etc!!! You can make it as you go and this is something you can truly personalize for you!

Painting

Watercolor is the prettiest thing I have ever seen in my life. Of course you can use other types of paint and paint on what whatever you liked like some pants you want to spice up or a canvas or even your wall!     

Poetry

It doesn’t have to an acrostic poem or one that rhymes, just whatever comes to you! you’ll be surprised at how good you could be!

Photography 

Even if it’s just with your iPhone camera on portrait mode along with VSCO, trust me you might find it interesting messing with filters and how you can make it look more sunny or more spooky to fit what you’d like!

Pick up an instrument 

I brought a UKULELE! It’s fun and cute and it makes me very happy! I also own a violin but that’s a little harder.. but it’s lovely. Learning to play a new instrument takes patience but in the end it’s worth it when you’re able to produce a sound so beautiful and lovely.

Reading 

Even if it’s a fic from ao3 or wattpad, reading something is better than nothing! I read a lot and have many books and series I need to finish. If you’d like a recommendation don’t hesitate to reach out!

Singing

You ever had a song come on shuffle and you just HAVE to sing? Doesn’t it feel good? Why not make it a regular thing? My shower is my STAGE!

Video games

I love animal crossing it’s so cute and it’s my life. I also have nintendogs & a bunch of Legend of Zelda, Pokemon, & Mario games. It’s a nice break away from reality and some of the plots are cute!

Volunteering  

Giving back is the best type of stress relief and it makes me so happy to see I can help others. Make it a hobby/habit of yours, maybe you’ll find something you’re really passionate about. I try to volunteering once a week and even if I’m exhausted it still makes me feel better doing something so small yet meaningful.

Daily Reminders: just daily activities good for your mental health and well-being

Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner

Of course with snacks included!

Drink water, juice, lemonade, a venti strawberry acai from starbucks

anything drink that’s your favorite!

Sleep at a reasonable time

Listen as a college student.. I don’t follow this but I TRY to the best of my ability and that’s what matters!

Skin care routine!

Listen a face mask feels so good, yes it may burn here and there but your skin looks soft and cute and is thanking you for giving the time in your day to do something nice.

Some of my favorites are Shea Moisture Raw Butter Hydrating Mud Mask, ANY of the Freeman Mask, Laneige Water Sleeping Mask, Fresh Lotus Youth Preserve Rescue Mask

Thoughts to Remember: just things I think you should know and remember and at my worst days and bad breakdowns I tell myself

Remember that: things out of your control are NOT your fault. 

I know we are so quick to place blame on ourselves and get so upset when what we planned out doesn’t follow the script. But listen to me when I say this, if it is out of your control it is NOT your fault and you had NO part in that. 

The aim of life is not perfection, but happiness 

Try not to dwell on the bad for long, instead use that time to do something else that makes you happy

The little things matter

Even if you skipped all your classes or decided to cancel plans and not leave your bed, I’m happy that you woke up

Try not to be so harsh on yourself 

It’s hard I know it is. When someone goes bad in my day I spend time blaming myself and telling myself I deserve it but truth be told it was totally out of my control.

Uncertainty is an aspect of life we must accept

It’s okay not to know. This gives us an opportunity to dream & write our own stories

You are important!

Your hard work and effort does NOT go unnoticed and I am so proud of you.

Your feelings are valid

In any situation, context, etc. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. Don’t be harsh on yourself and say you’re overreacting, or you’re being dramatic. Be genuine in how you feel because you’re feelings are valid.

Your mental health is important

Don’t let others comments tell you otherwise, if you need to remove yourself from a situation for your mental health, DO IT!

I hope this post helps you on your journey of either self-discovery, healing, adventure, etc. I hope you all remember to take care of yourselves and how much you matter. Life gets hard, and I understand that not everyone has the same background and culture growing up but I do hope regardless of that you are able to take care of your mental health and your overall well-being.

If you need anything from me, I’m always open for a chat. If that makes you nervous then you can also send me an ask!

with lots of love and stars,

stargirl

[infiniteglitterfall]

I was wondering if you had any queer and/or social justice books you could recommend? (Also completely different topic but what does "Don't be a dick, Alan" mean? Is it a quote or reference or something?)

excellent question! it is an in-joke with myself. someone was being a passive-aggressive racist douchebag on Nextdoor, and I replied with “Don’t be a dick, Alan.” which i think we all know is surprisingly pithy for me. I thought it would be a good thing to use to replace the default text people see when they write an ask. I didn’t realize at first that I had actually replaced the text of the “ask me anything” link on my blog. But it didn’t seem to stop people from sending asks, so I left it there. I can’t say it STOPS people from being dicks, but most people who send me asks are very nice either way. Queer/social justice is kind of a broad topic (two broad topics really) so I’ll just give you a sampling of my favorites and my to-reads: Boys Like Her: Transfictions - I don’t know how it would hold up today, but it was amazing in 1998. IIRC, at least one of the authors is intersex and trans, and writes about that, and there are a lot of pieces about being genderqueer and/or queer in general. (The book is “a provocative collection of fiction and images from Taste This, a queer performance group including Anna Camilleri, Ivan Coyote, Zoe Eakle and Lyndell Mongomery.”) 

I really need to read For Colored Boys Who Speak Softly, by “undocuqueer” poet Yosimar Reyes. He wrote A Poem So That The Weight Of This Country Does Not Crush You. He is an amazing author/activist; I follow him on Facebook, and even his Facebook posts are perfect: 

“My art is for my Undocumented people I could care less if the average American doesn’t know why I can’t become legal and I am no longer going to answer that question. They can go on google. My priority is making sure my people don’t despair. My audience is my own and I’m unapologetic about that!”

“You think it’s just about a social security number but just imagine how much that number gives you access. There are so many young people of color that give up cause this country tells them it’s not their home and they were born here. I know this country is not mine to claim according to some people but when is this country going to acknowledge that they uprooted me from my home? When are y'all going to start facing the violence of your history?” 

Sunnybrook: A True Story With Lies, by Persimmon Blackbridge is short and colorful, and groundbreaking for me in exposing the ableism in the mental health industry, and helping me understand disability rights around mental health in general. It’s “he hilarious and angry story of a young woman who fakes her way into a job that changes her life. One cover-up follows another as Diane hides her learning disabilities from her new employer, the ‘Sunnybrook Institution for the Mentally Handicapped’ and her girlfriend. But her dreams of becoming ‘a professional’ are threatened by her identification with the inmates at Sunnybrook. And when Diane meets Shirley-Butch at the bar, her lesbian identity and her psychiatric history become irrevocably intertwined. Moving back and forth between Diane’s job and her personal life, Sunnybrook is by turns funny, tragic and sexy. It is a riveting and visually arresting story about a group of people whose lives are made up of small acts of resistance, who steal moments of joy whenever possible.” Very Tumblr. Persimmon Blackbridge’s entire body of work is amazing, lots of radical queer working-class mentally-ill fiction. I loved Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman, which is sort of a combination of a memoir and a stroll through people who transcended gender norms throughout history. It’s not a well-sourced historical text arguing that each person was trans, it’s basically a trans person going “look at this, these people’s experiences were similar to ours.” 

I don’t know how it would hold up today, but there are two books that do a more “real”, rigorous, intentional historical exploration of trans people that I really want to read: Transgender History, by Susan Stryker (a bi trans historian) and um… 

Ok, and that’s the only one, because I thought the other one was an updating of Transgender Warriors, but it’s actually a collection of trans writing and art from people all around the world: Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation. One review says, “The editors have made selections representative of the diversity to be found in the global trans* community - those sharing their thoughts and experiences express a range of gender identities - and some decline gender identification all together. While many of the voices come from North America, there are contributors from all around the world - Spain, Singapore, Mexico, Argentina, Kenya among others - and from a multitude of ethnic backgrounds. The contributions range from the deeply personal to the highly theoretical, from formal essay to autobiographical narrative to poetry to visual art.” 

I need to read Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution, by Shiri Eisner; River read it last year and the bits I glimpsed (or got to hear out loud) were too good. 

Ditto Queer And Trans Artists of Color: Stories of Some Of Our Lives, where Nia King “discusses fat burlesque with Magnoliah Black, queer fashion with Kiam Marcelo Junio, interning at Playboy with Janet Mock, dating gay Latino Republicans with Julio Salgado, intellectual hazing with Kortney Ryan Ziegler, gay gentrification with Van Binfa, getting a book deal with Virgie Tovar, the politics of black drag with Micia Mosely, evading deportation with Yosimar Reyes,” [oh hey!] “weird science with Ryka Aoki, gay public sex in Africa with Nick Mwaluko, thin privilege with Fabian Romero, the tyranny of "self-care” with Lovemme Corazon, “selling out” with Miss Persia and Daddie$ Pla$tik, the self-employed art activist hustle with Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarsinha, and much, much more.” On the “bi trans author” topic, I really want to read Excluded: Making Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive, by Julia Serano. She is a very clear and well-reasoned writer, and it also seems like a “very Tumblr book”: “Among LGBTQ activists, there is a long history of lesbians and gay men dismissing bisexuals, transgender people, and other gender and sexual minorities. In each case, exclusion is based on the premise that certain ways of being gendered or sexual are more legitimate, natural, or righteous than others…. Serano advocates for a new approach to fighting sexism that avoids these pitfalls and offers new ways of thinking about gender, sexuality, and sexism that foster inclusivity rather than exclusivity.” I have a lot of concerns tho because at least one reviewer noted that she totally leaves race out of it, which ?????W HYYYYYYYY???? why would you do that when talking about feminism OR inclusivity?????????? It’s possible that Whipping Girl would be a better read; it’s certainly an extremely highly recommended one. This Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color is old but is still fucking amazing, and was ground-breaking as hell. I can’t do it justice, click through and read the reviews. As one of them says, it’s a must-read. 

Back on to-reads, “Born on the Edge of Race and Gender: A Voice for Cultural Competency “ by Willy Wilkinson is one I’ve only flipped through in the bookstore but it looked really good and fun. “This poetic, journalistic memoir shines an intersectional beacon on the ambiguity and complexity of mixed heritage, transgender, and disability experience, and offers an intimate window into how current legislative and policy battles impact the lives of transgender people. Whether navigating the men’s locker room like a “stealth trans Houdini,” accessing lifesaving health care, or appreciating his son’s recognition of him as a “transformer,” Wilkinson compellingly illustrates the unique, difficult, and sometimes comical experiences of transgender life.”

ok, i think that is a good start! 

[humansofhds]

Heather Rick, MDiv ’19

“I think Divinity School is the best place to be as a writer because this is where you really learn how to ask the questions that are at the heart of the human experience and the human-divine relationship.”

Living in Two Different Worlds

I grew up in Worcester, Massachusetts, which is about an hour west of Boston. It’s a medium-sized, working-class city. I have a working-class background, so growing up I never thought that I would end up at Harvard. Neither of my parents went to college, so it was always, for my mom especially, important that her kids go to college.

That’s the weird thing about coming from a working-class background—there’s an expectation that your parents want you to do better than they did, but they don’t want you to do so much better that you completely transcend your background.

That’s sort of a rift I’m feeling between myself and my family now that I’m at HDS. There’s this idea that people like us don’t go to Harvard, and therefore I’m going to think I’m better than my family because I go to Harvard or I’m using all these big words that aren’t part of their vocabulary. So, part of what I’m struggling with is figuring out how to hold on to the family values that they taught me while being embedded in a rigorous academic setting like HDS. It’s kind of like living in two different worlds, and I feel like the generation that’s in transit between classes.

The Road to Divinity School

Initially, I went to an art school in Chicago for creative writing. I’ve always been a reader and a writer, and I knew I wanted to get out of New England. But being a working-class student, it was really hard being in a school that had very little support for people from working-class backgrounds.

Even socially, people didn’t understand why my parents couldn’t pay my rent or tuition. I did three semesters there and then I had to drop out. I think that was when I realized that although I had been taught that education was my key out of poverty, education is still very much a class privilege.

After I had to drop out and I came back to Massachusetts after being on my own far away, I became really disillusioned and very depressed. I felt like I would never become a writer because I believed in the gatekeeping function of the institute and that I needed a BFA and eventually an MFA to be a writer.

Eventually, I went back to community college in Central Massachusetts, and, of all places, that was where I really started writing again. Some of the best professors I’ve ever had I met there—professors who really understood the background I was coming from, who really understood what it meant to try to be a working-class artist and the struggles I was facing. After being in community college I ended up getting a scholarship to Smith College to finish my bachelor’s degree.

I had initially thought I was going to finish my degree in writing or English, but I ended up switching to religion. At that point I had realized that the questions and issues I was asking in my writing were fundamentally issues of being, and I ended up coming back to God. I felt I already had the tools to write, but what I needed was the ability to ask the kinds of questions that my writing was getting at and the time and the space to do soul searching, as corny as that sounds—that’s really what being a writer is about.

I like to write from my own life, and I often find myself in this weird place between fiction and nonfiction. Emotional truth is what I try to get at in my writing, regardless of the facts. Sometimes friends will read something I wrote and be like, “It didn’t happen exactly like this.” And I’m like, “Yeah, but this is how it felt. This is the truth of how this felt.”

So, I like to write on this margin of playing with facts and reality and to get to emotional truths. I think Divinity School is the best place to be as a writer because this is where you really learn how to ask the questions that are at the heart of the human experience and the human-divine relationship.

Writing in the Election Aftermath

In the Boston area, we tend to think about Trump country as being in the Midwest or the South, but that’s not the case. The town where I went to community college, Gardner, Massachusetts, is the kind of place where people feel they have been left behind.

I hated it when I lived there, but one of the last things I remember saying to my creative writing professor at community college before I left was: “I think I’m beginning to owe a debt of compassion to this place.” When I was in Gardner, a very small, depressed, conservative area, I felt like I was in exile, but I now feel that’s the kind of place that gave birth to me.

In the election aftermath, a lot of what I’m hearing is “How could those people have voted against their own economic interests?” What people don’t understand is that a lot of these working-class white people don’t see themselves as being poor, because there’s such a stigma of shame around being poor. There’s a stigma that that if you are wealthy, it means you are good and that you did the right things. Therefore, to them Trump isn’t just a billionaire who’s going to screw them over. To them, it’s: “He’s a rich person, so he did things right.”

The urge is to blame others because you don’t want to accept that there’s something wrong with you morally that prevented you from attaining success. That’s when the classism and the racism gets all blurred up together. It’s so easy to prey on the racism of those people who refuse to see themselves as victims of a classist system. Instead someone tells them, "You are poor because these immigrants are taking your jobs."

In a lot of analyses, I’m not seeing an awareness of how these people actually view themselves. There seems to be quite a willingness to just write off that demographic altogether, which I can understand, but at the same time that’s where I come from. I feel like I can’t do that. There’s so much talk about regarding the role of the white working class in getting Trump elected, and I feel like it’s important for people like me, who came from that background, to be able to describe how those people really see themselves and to say what it’s like being in those towns.

How do I have the conversations that we have so easily and so openly at HDS with people who don’t talk about things like classism, who don’t recognize their own racism, who don’t recognize themselves as victims of a classist system? I think for people like me who are here in academia coming from those sorts of backgrounds, we need to figure out how to bring these conversations that we’re having here back to those communities.

The big question here is, “What’s my role as a writer?” Writing is what I’m good at. That’s what I know how to do, and I know whatever I’m going to do, I have to use that.

Storytelling is a political act, and it is really important to tell the stories of these places that we’re from, especially the places that are misunderstood, forgotten, or left behind. Post-election, the urge many of us have is to get out there in the world and start doing things, but I think the first step is introspection, to connect with ourselves and ask, “What resources do I have within myself? What is my connection with the divine right now, and how am I going to use that connection as my strength, as my way to move forward with this work?”

It’s draining to try to be so active in this climate, but I think storytelling is something that gives me strength and that will allow me to bring these conversations out into the world.

From Catholicism to Riot Grrrl, Feminist Punk Rock to Islam

I didn’t grow up with any kind of religious education. I had a lot of antagonism towards Christianity and rejected it at a very young age, mostly because my mother’s family is indigenous, from the Ojibwe Nation, in what’s now Canada. After a certain point I realized that the only reason her family was Catholic was because it was imposed on them when that area was colonized by French Catholic immigrants.

Growing up, I had this idea of a profound lack of compassion on the part of the Catholic Church. Not only was this a religion that was forced on my mother’s people, but it eventually led to a spiritual trauma because people like my grandfather were just cast-offs. So, I turned away from religion altogether for a long time.

Punk rock was the closest thing that I had to any kind of system or ethical community. That was really where I learned about radical politics, and I learned how to assert my voice and find self-esteem and self-confidence, especially through riot grrrl feminist punk rock.

That was what I had for a long time, and it was through punk rock that I got interested in taqwacore, which is Muslim punk rock, specifically Michael Muhammad Knight. He wrote this book imagining what a Muslim punk community would look like. Then people started picking up this book and actually doing it. Reading his book was really the first time I saw people like myself reflected in religion—kids with tattoos and funny hair who came from broken families and who felt like they were on the outskirts of multiple communities, not just a religious community. That was the first time I felt like Islam was big enough for all the weird, broken people like me and my family, and the first time I felt a sense of compassion that was just not there in the Catholicism that I knew growing up. So that really attracted me to Islam; it felt like coming home.

I feel like I’ve been writing my way through this whole journey. Writing has been a form of prayer for me and a form of self-discovery. Even if I’m bad about doing my five daily prayers, as long as I’m writing, I’m still praying and I’m still in communication.

I want people to think about Islams, not Islam. I think one of the reasons Muslims are feared and misunderstood is because people assume that Islam is somehow this monolithic entity—that all Muslims do this, all Muslims are this, all Muslims are from a certain place.

I think it’s really important to remember that Islam, like any other religious tradition, has constantly been in flux since its inception and is hugely diverse in terms of where Muslims are coming from, who’s converting to Islam, the cultural practices that we bring with us, the things we believe, and the things we do.

There is no one average Muslim. It always strikes me as funny when people are surprised when they find out that I’m Muslim. They’re surprised that I have tattoos or that I’m queer. I’m like “No. Muslims are just like everybody else. We bring so much to our religion. We’re not just this one, monolithic entity.”

I think it’s really important to remember and to embrace that openness. That was really what drew me to Islam first. I was like, “This is something that’s big enough and dynamic enough to have room for somebody like me.” And that’s why one of my big academic interests is Muslim youth subculture, like hip-hop and punk rock, because I think that brings a side of American Islam that your average non-Muslim does not know about, and it shows the kind of the dynamism of the American Muslim community.

[aikainkauna]

Just tried to go through a friend's blog because she reblogs tons of beautiful artwork, but the self-belittling, self-hating and self-sabotaging captions from the original artists just ruined the whole experience a half a dozen posts in.

Dear Tumblr artists: every time you shit on yourself in the caption, you slap the viewer in the face. All they see when scrolling down is beauty; they feel awed and feel pleasure.

And then you come in and scream, "FUCK YOU! You didn't! What a fucking stupid cunt you were to feel pleasure at this piece of shit. Fuck off, you shitstain."

When if you'd just keep that hate of yours to yourself and didn't smear it all over your artwork, people would never know. Imagine it. These thousands of people would only see you as someone talented, giving them a gift, making them feel something pleasurable. It's a crazy power, making people happy and giving them pleasure. It doesn't actually *matter* if you think you aren't somehow qualified to do that (funny, you still posted that pic on the Internet anyhow). These people could be completely oblivious to your misery--isn't that amazing? Yes, maybe that's being a con artist, but all great artists and performers believe they're bullshitting, sometimes.

It's only that they don't show it--they offer only the pure experience that's their art and that's *it.* The neuroses can be revealed by the tabloids later, but what matters is that people don't come to art to have their faces rubbed in someone's littleness and misery--they come to escape the misery of depression, traumas, whatnot; they are drawn to art that transcends it, is better than real life and its constant pain.

And you, you who could be the alchemist turning shit into gold and making people happy, insist on selfishly dragging people into your shit anyway. Yes, you are being selfish; monstrously selfish. Even if that self-deprecating caption is there exactly to deflect accusations of conceit, there to criticise you before someone else does it, it's still selfish as fuck. It's to give a starving person a warm, nourishing meal and then vomit all over it.

If you really want to not feel so shit about yourself as an artist and really do want to bring something beautiful or just meaningful out into the world, and if you really want to not be seen as selfish, do the most unselfish act of all: give people only the good parts of yourself, accentuate them, and don't ruin that little hope you've just given them. It's so fucking empowering! I promise. Give it a shot. Depression is a terrible beast and it's ok to feel like shit and talk about it, but there's a time and a place. And during a moment of someone's happiness (which your art, yes, your messy art where you fucked up that shadow there IS to a random person on the Internet) is not it.

I beg of you. End this fucked-up, medieval-religious game of pleasure given only with punishment, this tainting of beauty and pleasure and hope when those are the most precious things we have--art can be what keeps someone alive on the brink of an abyss, and they don't need you to scream at them to jump.

Because you can be more than that, even if you don't feel like it, and nobody will ever have to suffer. You have the keys to withholding the pain--you have the responsibility of withholding pain if you're a beauty-creator, even.

Don't beat up the people whose souls you've just fucking fed. For crying out loud.

Please tell me I’m not the only one on this website who, upon seeing a post with some great artwork, already turns her face aside and winces as she scrolls down in a kind of “Ouch, I can only look with one eye” way, bracing herself for the inevitable self-hating and/or giggly, flaily caption that’s massively dissonant with the really harmonious, beautiful and talented and *deep* artwork?

[Here’s an amazing composition of deep emerald and peacock greens in a gorgeous, dreamlike vision of the nightly forest and a dark fairy queen manifesting herself from within the shadows, holding a bleeding heart in her hands and wearing antlers and a garland of wilted flowers, showing deep insight into the subconscio–]

MY PRECUOUS CINNAMOM BB lol spammin ur dash with my trash oc’s ッ/*~~*~~*uwuッ

@taurocoprosexualsteve, @tardisimpalalockedslytherins, @midwestlesbianfarmergemstone

pls dont dlete my captions!!!

*^follow for more dark&wierd and womderful^*

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[psychotherapyconsultants]

12 Ways to Keep Going with Depression

About once a week I hear the same question from a reader, “What keeps you going?” The short answer is lots of things. I use a variety of tools to persevere through my struggle with depression because what works on one day doesn’t the next. I have to break some hours into 15-minute intervals and simply put one foot in front of another, doing the thing that is right in front of me and nothing else.

I write this post for the person who is experiencing debilitating symptoms of depression. The following are some things that help me fight for sanity and keep me going, when the gravity of my mood disorder threatens to stop all forward movement.

Find a good doctor and therapist.

I have tried to beat my depression without the help of mental health professionals and discovered just how life-threatening the illness can be. Not only do you need to get help, you need to get the RIGHT help.

A reporter once referred to me as the Depression Goldilocks of Annapolis because I have seen practically all of the psychiatrists in my town. Call me picky, but I am glad I didn’t stop my search after the third or fourth or fifth physician because I did not get better until I found the right one at Johns Hopkins Mood Disorders Center. If you have a severe, complicated mood disorder, it is worth going to a teaching hospital to get a consultation.

Be just as choosy with your therapist. I have sat on therapy couches on and off for 30 years, and while the cognitive behavioral exercises were helpful, I didn’t begin making real progress until I started working with my current therapist.

Rely on your faith — or some higher power.

When everything else has failed, my faith sustains me. In my hours of desperation, I will read from the Book of Psalms, listen to inspirational music, or simply yell at God. I look to the saints for courage and resolve since many of them have experienced dark nights of the soul — Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Mother Teresa. It is of great consolation to know that God knows each hair on my head and loves me unconditionally despite my imperfections, that He is with me in my anguish and confusion.

A substantial amount of research points to the benefits of faith to mitigate symptoms of depression. In a 2013 study, for example, researchers at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts, found that belief in God was associated with better treatment outcomes.

Be kind and gentle with yourself.

The stigma attached to depression is still, unfortunately, very thick. Maybe you have one or two people in your life who can offer you the kind of compassion that you deserve. However, until the general public offers persons with mood disorders the same compassion that is conferred on people with breast cancer or any other socially acceptable illness, it is your job to be kind and gentle with yourself. Instead of pushing yourself harder and telling yourself it’s all in your head, you need to speak to yourself as a sensitive, fragile child with a painful wound that is invisible to the world. You need to put your arms around her and love her. Most importantly, you need to believe her suffering and give it validation. In her book Self-Compassion, Kristin Neff, Ph.D., documents some of the research that demonstrates that self-compassion is a powerful way to achieve emotional well-being.

Reduce your stress.

You don’t want to give into your depression, I get that. You want to do everything on your to-do list and part of tomorrow’s. But pushing yourself is going to worsen your condition. Saying no to responsibilities because your symptoms are flaring up isn’t a defeat. It is act of empowerment.

Stress mucks up all your biological systems, from your thyroid to your digestive tract, making you more vulnerable to mood swings. Rat studies show that stress reduces the brain’s ability to keep itself healthy. In particular, the hippocampus shrinks, impacting short-term memory and learning abilities. Try your best to minimize stress with deep-breathing exercises, muscle-relaxation meditations, and simply saying no to anything you don’t absolutely have to do.

Get regular sleep.

Businessman and author E. Joseph Cossman once said, “The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.” It is one of the most critical pieces to emotional resiliency. Practicing good sleep hygiene — going to bed at the same time at night and waking up at a regular hour — can be challenging for persons with depression because, according to J. Raymond DePaulo, Jr., M.D., co-director of the Johns Hopkins Mood Disorders Center, that’s when people often feel better. They want to stay up and write or listen to music or work. Do that too many nights, and your lack of sleep becomes the Brussels sprout on the floor of the produce aisle that you trip over. Before you know it, you’re on your back, incapable of doing much of anything.

Although pleasing our circadian rhythm — our body’s internal clock — can feel really boring, remember that consistent, regular sleep is one of the strongest allies in the fight against depression.

Serve others.

Five years ago, I read Man’s Search for Meaning by Holocaust survivor and Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl and was profoundly moved by his message that suffering has meaning, especially when we can turn our pain into service of others.

Frankl’s “logotherapy” is based on the belief that human nature is motivated by the search for a life purpose. If we devote our time and energy toward finding and pursuing the ultimate meaning of our life, we are able to transcend some of our suffering. It doesn’t mean that we don’t feel it. However, the meaning holds our hurt in a context that gives us peace. His chapters expound on Friedrich Nietzsche’s words, “He who has a why can bear almost any how.” I have found this to be true in my life. When I turn my gaze outward, I see that suffering is universal, and that relieves some of the sting. The seeds of hope and healing are found in the shared experience of pain.

Look backwards.

Our perspective is, without doubt, skewed during a depressive episode. We view the world from a dark basement of human emotions, interpreting events through the lens of that experience. We are certain that we have always been depressed and are convinced that our future will be chock full of more misery. By looking backwards, I am reminded that my track record for getting through depressive episodes is 100 percent. Sometimes the symptoms didn’t wane for 18 months or more, but I did eventually make my way into the light. I call to mind all those times I persevered through difficulty and emerged to the other side. Sometimes I’ll take out old photos as proof that I wasn’t always sad and panicked.

Take a moment to recall the moments that you are most proud of, where you triumphed over obstacles. Because you will do it again. And then again.

Plan something fun.

Filling my calendar with meaningful events forces me to move forward when I’m stuck in a negative groove. It can be as simple as having coffee with a friend or calling my sister. Maybe it’s signing up for a pottery or cooking class.

If you’re feeling ambitious, plan an adventure that takes you out of your comfort zone. In May, I’m walking Camino de Santiago, or The Way of Saint James, a famous pilgrimage that stretches 778 kilometers from St. Jean Port de Pied in France to Santiago de Compostela in Spain. The anticipation of the trip has fueled me with energy and excitement during a hard stretch of my life.

You need not backpack through Europe, of course, to keep moving forward. Organizing a day trip to a museum or some local art exhibit could serve the same purpose. Just be sure to have something on your calendar other than therapy and work meetings.

Be in nature.

According to Elaine Aron, Ph.D., in her bestseller The Highly Sensitive Person, approximately 15 to 20 percent of the population is easily overwhelmed by loud noises, crowds, smells, bright lights, and other stimulation. These types have rich interior lives, but tend to feel things very deeply and absorb people’s emotions. Many people who struggle with chronic depression are highly sensitive. They need a pacifier. Nature serves that purpose.

The water and woods are mine. When I get overstimulated by this Chuck E. Cheese world of ours, I retreat to either the creek down the street or the hiking trail a few miles away. Among the gentle waves of the water or the strong oak trees in the woods, I touch ground and access a stillness that is needed to navigate difficult emotions. Even a few minutes a day provide a sense of calm that helps me to harness panic and depression when they arise.

Connect with other warriors.

Rarely can a person battle chronic depression on her own. She needs a tribe of fellow warriors on the frontline of sanity, remembering her that she is not alone and equipping her with insights with which to persevere.

Five years ago, I felt very discouraged by the lack of understanding and compassion associated with depression so I created two forums: Group Beyond Blue on Facebook and Project Hope & Beyond. I have been humbled by the level of intimacy formed between members of the group. There is power in shared experience. There is hope and healing in knowing we are in this together.

Laugh

You may think there’s nothing funny about your depression or wanting to die. After all, this is a serious, life-threatening condition. However, if you can manage to add a dose of levity to your situation, you’ll find that humor is one of the most powerful tools to fight off hopelessness. G.K. Chesterton once said, “Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.” That’s what laughter does. It lightens the burden of suffering. That’s why nurses use comedy skits in small group sessions in inpatient psychiatric units as part of their healing efforts. Humor forces some much-needed space between you and your pain, providing you a truer perspective of your struggle.

Dance in the rain.

Vivian Greene once said, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

When I was first diagnosed with depression, I was sure that the right medication or supplement or acupuncture session would cure my condition. Ten years ago, when nothing seemed to work, I shifted to a philosophy of managing my symptoms versus curing them. Although nothing substantial changed in my recovery, this new attitude made all the difference in the world. I was no longer stuck in the waiting room of my life. I was living to the fullest, as best I could. I was dancing in the rain.

References

Rosmarin, D.H., Bigda-Peyton, J.S., Kertz, S.J., Smith, N., Rauch, S.L., & Björgvinsson, T. (2013). A test of faith in God and treatment: The relationship of belief in God to psychiatric treatment outcomes. Journal of Affective Disorders, 146(3): 441-446. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S016503271200599X

Hildebrandt, S. (2012, February 6). How stress can cause depression [blog post]. Retrieved from http://sciencenordic.com/how-stress-can-cause-depression

Frankl, V.E. (1959). Man’s Search for Meaning. Cutchogue, NY: Buccaneer Books.

Aron, E. (1996). The Highly Sensitive Person. New York, NY: Carol Publishing.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/12-ways-to-keep-going-with-depression/

[howtothenow]

Introverts, Instagram and the new curation culture

It may seem shallow to invest thought in people’s social media habits, especially when these apps can indeed breed superficiality. However, noticing the ways that particular types of people are behaving online may reveal things about the way our culture is evolving. i’ve considered the patterns of social media behaviour in young people and the curation-centric approach that I believe is characteristic of them.

First of all if you look at the Instagram profiles of current young people in their teens and early 20s and compare that to those of the same age group from 4 years ago, you may observe that the current youth are much more sophisticated in their visual expression. Part of this can be attributed to better editing opportunities and camera qualities but that’s not the fundamental factor at play. In my view, this is a meta-social phenomena rather than a purely technological one. We might then, examine how different people have adapted to the new social/technological environment. Perhaps we might consider this in terms of introversion and extraversion.

We have, in many ways, been developing into a personality-centric culture; where one of the most valuable aspects of a public Figure, wether they be a singer, an actor, an artist is their personality. Perhaps this is even the most valuable aspect. Take the success of Cardi B for example, who first found fame on Reality Show ‘Love and Hip Hop’, before the success of her single ‘Bodak Yellow’. it is clear that a large part of what people find alluring about Cardi B is her funny, slightly unpredictable personality; her interviews garner view counts that rival the performance of most people’s actual songs. This speaks of a change in marketing approach pioneered by Tyler, The Creator and his manager Christian Clancy, whereby you needn’t “market” an artist, but in the case of Tyler and the Odd Future’ Collective, simply “expose” them. This is an extravert suited approach and while it does still work for introverts, it doesn’t work nearly as well ( it may even arguably work in terms of success, but it’s often not too comfortable for the introverts themselves ). We live in an extroversion-centric culture anyway, where we value people who are “outgoing”, social and “well adjusted”. And for good reason too: We are social creatures who inevitably produce hierarchies (e.g a family, a friend group, a scene) which will often reward pro-social, open, people. Though perhaps the most fundamental ones, these are not the only hierarchies; Western Society is particularly extravert-centric, valuing the “heroic” “going and seeing” (or even better “seeing and doing” ) to the more introspective “sitting and thinking” approach more prevalent in Buddhist and Hindu cultures etc.

Going to back to Social Media, we might ask, where does this extraverted climate leave introverts? It’s clear that a thriving internet presence is (sometimes literally) a useful currency. We might observe introverts now being somewhat forced into incorporating a consumable outward expression of themselves into their lives or risk damaging their social standing. The introverted youth, less suited to the “exposing” approach, must utilise their reflecting abilities to develop a sophisticated visual identity, hence the rise of the word “aesthetic” being used to describe a certain approach to visual expression that is both coherent and pleasing. Here we arrive at Curation: Introverts must display expert curation skills, portraying indirectly a characterisation that’s less a reflection of who they are (in the outward sense) but more of how they see the world. To some extent this has always been the role of Artists: to help others to see things differently through an experience generated by their creative abilities. However, the crucial difference is that there is now a particular focus on curation rather than creation. Perhaps this is also reflective of the difficulty of success in a creative domain: You must be the best at what you do and do it at exactly the right time and have the means to get it to the right people and monetise it. Also remains the problem of being original but not too original as there would be no Market or opportunity for something so outside the status quo. Curation is slightly less risky, it’s taking things that already exist and presenting them in a unique combination, giving them new meaning and placing them within a larger context of association. It’s a good way for creative Introverts to communicate; i.e “Here’s some things I like, i’ve intuitively found their commonalities and am presenting that to you”. I don’t mean to devalue curation with this, after all, all creation is curation, though not all curation is necessarily creative.  

People can use media like instagram to share their creative practices to great effect, but if they do, they better stick to doing that and better stick to one particular kind of expression lest they confuse their followers. People generally follow four main types of accounts: 1. their friends and family, 2. personalities, 3. Socialites and 4. Art-grams for people who “make stuff”, showcasing particular works operating within a well branded niche. However these categories do blur and Socialites can often double as friends or personalities. Somewhere in that intersection is the young introvert, probably going back and forth between posting carefully chosen snapshots of their lives and other’s content that they deem exquisite.

Above: Lorde’s newly cleared out, 3 post Instagram featuring: a message reading “trust me”, someone else’s artwork and a deliberately blurry photo of her performing. 

New Zealand Pop-Artist extrodinaire, Lorde could be considered the Figure-Head for this behaviour; everything she has ever shared or expressed visually has been very particular and hyper-intentional. Her resume as an image maker (as well as musician) is an expert lesson in curation and there is a certain particular-ness, a focus on boldness and on capturing something “just so”, behind all of her visual presence. While being a creator herself, she came from a generational culture of budding introverted curators and is in many ways a prime example of this phenomena embodied. Now you may ask, but shouldn’t Lorde be in the category of “making stuff”? Well yes she is in that category, she’s also a celebrated personality (though she’s seemingly quite careful about what she makes available about her self), she also lives a life quite unlike most introverted young people and could be a socialite if she wanted to. However we can’t ignore the focus on bored suburban youth holding the truth, that characterised her early work and thrust her into the limelight. For musicians the model is particularly weird, especially for musicians who are also artists who wish to depict themselves in a particular way. They’re to be known for their skills, but also their personality, their status and their “message”. They also face the problem that what they do doesn’t translate so well to a platform like Instagram, where images and other videos may thrive. So it’s no doubt that someone who walks this line with poise would be celebrated. Again, perhaps the most important factor is how extraverted they are, for if they are out-going and loud then there’s their “image” right there, otherwise they must to turn to images instead. That said, music is basically one of the more extraverted art forms, at least when the musicians are being musicians and especially if they are also “performers” (though maybe only when they’re being performers). The quieter art forms, the literally quieter ones, lend themselves more easily to an introverted visual expression.

In a sense, the introverted curator has the most freedom to be off-brand or change brand; as long as there is a coherent sense of intentionality, there is scope for freedom. They are also free to touch a variety of subjects and media. As stated above, this type of expression transcends the main four categories, allowing them to show their social lives, things they like and things they’ve made and to some extent, even their personalities. in fact they are often applauded for this kind of variety, providing that they can do it in a way that’s coherent and meaningful. This task is no mean feat; it isn’t easy to take disparate phenomena, find their commonalities in subject and style and present those to others with some degree of assuredness.  

All of this speaks of an emergent culture of refinement as well as the more general one of attempting to simplify our complex experience. Taste-making has always been at the heart of certain social circles, perhaps it’s just more visible now and perhaps for some, it’s more pressing than ever that they make it visible.

[weareliminal-blog]

In Cantonese “Sifu” is a title given to a master of a trade, according to Wikipedia. Whether you trust Wikipedia or not, it’s only fitting that Livingston Matthews decided to adopt the name Pink Siifu (yes, double i) as his musical persona. Siifu treads the threshold between conscious-activist rap, and pure love poetry; a guru of cloud rap, weaving through ethereal vocals and experimental jazz. At 25 he recognizes the masters of his craft, designing “something like if N*E*R*D’s Seeing Sounds and The Love Below by André 3000 had an album baby, with a little of Erykah Badu’s Mama’s Gun” for his next piece of work. It’s a bold statement for the young rapper, but I don’t doubt his dexterity and ability to finesse his way to the top.

I first met Pink Siifu at Back Beat LA, a monthly event that caters to the underground jazz and experimental hip-hop scene in Los Angeles. He slid across the back, skateboard at his side, and asked if he could grab something off the vegetable platter. Unbeknownst to me, he was part of the lineup. He approached the mic and let his raspy vocals and entrancing sing-rap reverberate throughout the Grand Star Jazz Club; a lo-fi dream, sobering and transcending at the same time.

We agreed to meet outside of Space 15 Twenty in Los Angeles for the interview – post Tape Meet LA, where independent labels like Stones Throw, Paxico Records, and Akashik Records gathered for a cassette exhibition. It’s not everyday I get to be among some of my favorite producers and DJs, but I digress. Pink Siifu greeted me with a big grin and arms wide-open before we talked about his move from Birmingham, to Cincinnati, and now LA; the effects of the internet on hip-hop; and his musical odyssey.

Did you already have connections out in LA?

Nah, I knew like a couple of niggas. I started going to shows and parties, and I went to Ringgo’s (Mndsgn) – one of Ringgo’s after parties. This was when him, Zeroh, Low Leaf, and Alima (Jennings) were staying in the same crib. I met Ahwlee there, and I even met Swarvy at Ringgo’s. I met mad niggas at Ringgo’s crib.

Yeah, I moved out here to do that. I moved out here with my ex, just because we fucked with the artists and production out here.

When you were younger did you see yourself moving out here?

Hell nah, I just thought I would go back to Alabama, or Atlanta, or Florida. I still want to go back, but it’s boring as fuck.

The art scene (in Atlanta) is tight. It feels like Brooklyn. Everybody knows everybody. There’s so many different types of art. I went there, and the niggas that threw a gallery show, threw a rap show after. That shit was just tight as fuck. They made early SpaceGhostPurrp type of shit. It was super southern. It was dope.

Do you get the same feeling as you do at home?

It ain’t nothing like LA. LA has no season change. It’s neither hot nor cold. There’s no fall or spring. It’s either summer or a lazy winter. I need fall and spring for my sanity. That shit is weird. That’s the only thing I don’t fuck with.

I feel like Los Angeles is a bubble in that way. Do you agree?

Word. Maybe that’s true. Yeah, actually Cali has a lot of shit going. Cali just stays with Cali. I feel like y’all focus on London and New York. I know a lot of cats that know cats from London and NY. It’s tight. A lot of cats I fuck with are either from Philly or New York, so maybe that’s why.

Is it because of the type of hip-hop prevalent out here? I feel like East coast hip-hop and rap are more conscious, though. What is it about those artists that resonates with you more, as opposed to artists from Los Angeles?

Nah, nah. I fuck with artists from here. I fuck with both. Honestly, New York niggas sound like Atlanta niggas, ‘cause of the internet probably. I miss when I used to go down south and visit my family. Like the south would be playing certain types of music. Before everybody started fucking with Young Jeezy, only Atlanta and Alabama were playing Young Jeezy and Lil Boosie. We’d hear all the new music in the south first.

I fuck with artists from here though. Conscious niggas are definitely in Cali. Zeroh is one of my favorite rappers. Zeroh is from Long Beach; Kendrick from Compton.

I fuck with Brooklyn too, though. There ain’t nothing like a Brooklyn woman. A black Brooklyn woman is just so direct with your ass. I fuck with Brooklyn woman heavy – not even to date – like just admire them. Like a dude will do some shit on the train, and they’ll be like “what the fuck is wrong with you?” That shit is tight. I be on the train and I’m like “Yeah, you shouldn’t fuck with her dog.” Laughs. “She ain’t the one dog. Fuck around and get jawed.”

Do you think because you’re from the South your take on music is very unique or do you think you have a blended sound as well?

Blended, definitely, because I was raised in Ohio.

Then what genres do you think your music is a mix of? Hip-hop, obviously, but you definitely have some jazz influence.

It’s crazy, my jazz influence. I’m realizing this more as I grow up. I already knew that my pops used to play the Saxophone, and everyone told me he was a monster. My grandfather, his pops, he wasn’t the best dad but he was an artist, a jazz nigga. They say he was a big reason for the jazz movement in Nigeria. They say he used to play with Charlie Parker.

Hold up, you’re going on tour?

Me and Ahwlee are going on short, short tour. It’s not like these big nigga tours. We’re going to Oakland, Chicago, Brooklyn, and then Pennsylvania. I’m grateful! But I definitely want more dates. I wanted to hit Atlanta.

Did you see yourself going on tour 5 years ago?

Well, kind of. Hold up. He loses his train of thought. Shout out to Shoes for fucking this up. Laughs. Wait, I started doing music in 2011 seriously, but the jazz influence is from my pops and grandfather. Dungeon Family, Badu, Temptations, Jill Scott, Eddie Kendricks – bless his soul. I used to love Frank Sinatra.

Were they your inspiration for twothousandnine?

D’Angelo and Dwele were, sonically. We would listen to a lot of Slum Village, D’Angele, Dwele, and Dilla. We was watching D’Angelo live shows before we recorded some tracks. The title of it was because 2009 was lit. It was lit musically for me. I started listening to N*E*R*D heavy, Kid Cudi, and a lot of other indie rap shit – not just Lil’ Wayne and Outkast. I started listening to Blackstar too.

I told Swarvy we should name it that, and he said it was crazy because that’s when he started making music seriously and getting weird with it. We had the same view on 2009. Shit just started sonically changing for us.

It’s funny you mention Outkast. After the photo shoot, Julian (Essink) and I kept thinking that you remind us of André 3000. Do you get that a lot?

That’s my favorite artist of all time, like how Tyler loves Pharrell. That’s how I feel about André. I feel like he’s guiding a nigga every time I listen to him. The Love Below is the best album. There is no other album, especially rap album, that’s like that.

Is 3 Stacks your ideal end goal as a rapper?

No, because the game fucked him up. I feel like I know him; it’s super weird. The industry fucked him up, like he’s cool with the legacy he left.

Is that disappointing for you?

It’s not disappointing for me, but it’s disappointing for the rest of his fans that don’t get that he already gave us everything. We don’t even realize how good it was. He really doesn’t want to put up with the shit that goes with putting out an album. I support him in everything. As soon as he stopped making music, and started putting out movies. I was like, “Alright, fuck it! That’s my favorite actor now.”

He sounds like your favorite uncle.

Deadass. I love him. He can do whatever. If he puts out shoes I’m gonna buy them. I swear. 3 Stacks is my favorite rapper. Dungeon Family is what I’m trying to make for myself, like Soulquarious. I also love rock shit. I love N*E*R*D.

In terms of rock, do you pull inspiration from your favorite bands? I’m asking mainly, because your music isn’t very mainstream. It’s not what you would typically hear on the radio, especially for a rapper. I feel like I appreciate your music more because of that.

I feel that. Well, with the rock shit I do have a lot of music that’s not out yet that’s inspired a lot by rock. I have a lot of music that niggas won’t expect, mostly because I haven’t put out my own album yet. I’ve got several different styles. I’ve only put out what people have produced for me.

So are you producing your own music?

Yeah, but I kind of don’t like making my own beats. I like working with other musicians. When I write, I’m kind of just like letting it flow.

Is it like stream of consciousness?

It’s mostly conversations I’ve had in my relationships and thoughts that I’ve had; things that have actually happened. Sometimes I make up shit, or I’ll combine different events in my life into one story.

How do you know when you have a finished product?

It’s just a feeling.

When you finish a track do you get overly excited to put it out or do you wait until you have a couple of songs ready, and then pick and choose?

I used to be super excited. When I’m working on an album, I’m never that excited, though. I just want to keep building, making it fire. But like now, I don’t give a fuck. I’m trying to get D’Angelo with it, like put an album out every five years.

I kind of just want to hold it. With BRWN, I was talking to three different women. I first started talking to a girl from Brooklyn, and then we ended. Then I was single and talking to different women, and then I ended up dating a girl for 8 months. After that, I started having a sexual relationship with one of my homegirls until I finished BRWN. I was living through this shit while making the album. It was weird and dope. It’s a woman appreciation album, especially a black woman. There are only female features in it.

There were dope life experiences in that album. That’s how the best albums get made.

When do you think you’re going to release your next album or EP?

Me and Ahwlee are working heavy. I can’t say when we’ll drop some new shit. The next thing I drop will probably be a B. Cool-Aid thing.

Should your listeners expect a similar outcome from you based on your previous work?

You should just watch my Instagram stories. My album is gonna be full of music like that. It’s gonna have the Blues, rap, jazz, rock. I want something like if N*E*R*D Seeing Sounds and The Love Below by André 3000 had an album baby, with a little of Erykah Badu’s Mama’s Gun. Sprinkle everything in there.

Niggas definitely might not fuck with it, but there are so many things I want to try. If they don’t fuck with that, then they’ll fuck with the next one. I want to be able to have different types of people that enjoy different genres of music at my show.

If there was one artist that you’d want to collaborate with, who would it be?

I’d want to work with Static Major or Dilla. If I had either of their beats on an album, that would be crazy. I would love to get some guitar from Hendrix, too, but only if he was still alive. Also Matt Martians, Homeshake, and that’s about it.

[mdellertdotcom]

Last week (September 11-17) was the Brooklyn Book Festival, one of the premiere book festivals in the US, and the largest free literary event in New York City.

Brooklyn BookFest is a unique kind of festival. Rather than being centralized in a particular convention hall (such as Book Expo America in the Javits Center), the whole literary community in Brooklyn gets involved, and so “BookEnd Events” have cropped up—some officially, some unofficially—all around New York City.

The BookEnds are events before and after the official Festival weekend, ranging from a kick-off party at a Brooklyn watering hole (King’s Beer Hall, this year) to author events such as:

The HarperCollins book launch party for Catherine Mayer’s Attack of the Fifty Foot Women at Laurel Touby‘s swank East Village apartment, and

Tor’s Malka Older Presents Null States book reading/signing at the Kinokuniya Bookstore.

There are also more esoteric events simply for the love of literature, like Transcending Spaces: A Literary & Aerial Spectacular at The Muse, sponsored by HIP Lit, VIDA: Women in Literary Arts, The Rumpus, and WORD Brooklyn.

This was a riveting night of readings showcasing new work from a diverse cast of writers, including: Hala Alyan, Alana Massey, Alissa Nutting, Tea Obreht, and Camille Rankine, emceed by writer and Rumpus Funny Women Editor Elissa Bassist.

In collaboration with Brooklyn’s home for circus and immersive shows, this event also featured a stellar set of aerial performances from Chriselle Tidrick and Mara Hsiung, creating a powerful intersection between page and sky for what was truly a memorable celebration of creativity and community.

Festival Day

But for me, the highlight of Brooklyn BookFest is always the Festival Day. Vendors line the walk-ways from the beautiful Brooklyn Borough Hall to the Korean War Veterans Memorial, and panel discussions are held in open air pavilions as well as in rooms at the Borough Hall, the Law School, and other surrounding venues.

Since I attend the festival more as a publisher and a writer than as a reader, the panel discussions always draw my particular attention.

Panels I Attended at Brooklyn BookFest

Telling Her Own Story

Girls were center stage at this panel discussion with Tracey Baptiste  (Rise of the Jumbies), Meg Medina (Burn Baby Burn), and Renée Watson (Piecing Me Together) as they discussed how their writing explores the complexities of girlhood and why it’s important for them to create bold, brave girls. Moderated by Dhonielle Clayton (Tiny Pretty Things).

Perhaps ironically, as these terrific writers discussed the challenges they faced as writers, girls, women, and people-of-color, I found myself often thinking, “that’s not a girl/woman/POC-problem, that’s a human-problem,” a problem that I myself (privileged white male that I am) could relate to in my own way.

But it also left me kicking myself over missed opportunities in The Wedding of Eithne, where I might have addressed some of the topics raised in the panel, such as the effect on women and girls of socio-cultural attitudes like “boys will be boys” as a deplorable hand-waving of harassment and violence against women.

My own male privilege kept me from seeing this problem in quite the way that these women described their approach to the same issues in their own work. It leaves me wondering if I did my protagonist (and by extension, my readers) a disservice by not finding this space in Lady Eithne’s experience? I’ll have to give the book another reading with this in mind, and a thought toward a revised future edition.

So for me, this was a great panel discussion with a wonderful take-away for me as a writer, and an opportunity for growth. This is what I mean when I say that literature is a discussion, each author to the others, through the medium of writing.

Structures of Power: Politics, Science Fiction, and Fantasy presented by the Center for Fiction

It’s a common conceit that the science fiction and fantasy genres are uniquely positioned to explore structures of power.

In this panel discussion, four authors examined:

how power struggles impact individuals and collectives;

intersections between technology and politics; and

methods of resistance to oppressive governments and technologies.

N.K. Jemisin (The Stone Sky), Eugene Lim (Dear Cyborgs), Malka Older (Null States), and Deji Bryce Olukotun (After the Flare) discussed how science fiction and fantasy responds to our hopes and fears for the future, offers alternatives to conventional politics, and examines how technology affects freedom. Moderated by Rosie Clarke.

But I have to admit, I was a little disappointed with this panel at first.

The discussion promised to be a high-level look at power structures in genre fiction, and I studied Post-Colonial Metaphysics with Leela Gandhi at Cornell University’s School of Criticism & Theory, so when the moderator opened up by asking the authors to describe how their own fantasy and science fiction worlds were affected by real life hegemonic power structures, I was right in step with her.

And then N.K. Jemisin took up the mic as the first respondent, and we all got totally Philip K. Dick’d.

Science fiction writers, I am sorry to say, really do not know anything. We can’t talk about science, because our knowledge of it is limited and unofficial, and usually our fiction is dreadful. — Philip K. Dick

Ms. Jemisin’s initial response was, “Uhm… I’m not really sure what you mean by ‘hegemonic power,’ uh, but…”

To be fair, these four writers are not by any means dreadful, and the panel quickly turned around. Despite the academic jargon that might have flown over some heads, the discussion went on to look at the place of technology (particularly information and communications tech) in our own political environment, how it’s changed the political and social discourse of our times, and how these writers have used technology in their own works.

Overall, I was pleased with the discussion, and it raised questions for my own Fantasy work. Though it’s been a fairly minor plot-point, changes in medieval technology have played a part in the socio-political milieu of my Matter of Manred series.

When a backward gang of bandits gains access to advanced weapons technology (the crossbow), it affects the balance of power in the Kingdom of Droma and threatens the authority of the State’s military force to police and protect its citizens. Comparisons and contrasts to the recent events on the Korean peninsula, the influence of military technology and training on criminal gangs and the American police force from Prohibition to the present, and the rise of radical terrorist groups around the world, are all easily enough drawn. So I’m looking forward to bringing more of this sort of technological conflict into my work in the future.

And for those in the cheap seats, I promise not to use the phrase “hegemonic power-structures” in casual discourse.

How to Reach Your Readers

The event description for this panel promised the following:

Join a publicist, marketing director, SEO specialist and audio expert for practical tips on reaching your readers via mobile, audio, thought leader placement, email marketing, and social media platforms (including Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn). Authors, agents, publishers should attend for the latest news you can use from industry pros Rich Kelley, Anne Kostick, Jennifer Maguire, and YEN founder Bridget Marmion.

I attended this panel with my own friend and publicist, Kira Citron. Right away, she wrote me a note: “Very basic, but good to be reminded of the fundamentals…” A few minutes later, she circled another event in the program and made it clear she was leaving.

And I didn’t blame her. By no means do I consider myself a publicist, a marketing expert, an SEO specialist, or anything else of the sort, yet even I found this panel to be a very “101-level” look at marketing, with very little in the first 20 minutes that I hadn’t gleaned from a hundred other marketing and publicity “gurus” and blogs over the last three years.

But the discussion did allow me to sign up for a free 30-minute consult with the well-meaning folks at Your Expert Nation. Perhaps if I open that session with a quick overview of where I’m at, we can skip the “social media marketing is all about engagement” and get into the real nitty-gritty of finding the most effective ways for a writer on a time-budget to engage with readers. More on this when I follow up with the free consultation.

Writers Watching, Listening and Writing

After ducking out early from the marketing panel, I went to check this out.

I know that I myself listen to music, watch TV, and generally enjoy pop culture in my downtime, just like anyone else. I recently binge-watched the entire first season of American Vandal (surprisingly awesome, given the premise), and caught the opening episode of The Defenders (looking forward to the rest) on NetFlix. My friend and collaborator Jean Lee has an entire series of blog posts about how music influences her work.

Well, as it turns out, many great writers and authors do the same (who knew?!)—and sometimes they even write about their watching and listening experiences. Caroline Casey (Little Boxes) has edited a book of authors writing about the TV shows they watched, and Andrew Blauner (In Their Lives: Great Writers On Great Beatles Songs) has a playlist of authors writing about songs the Beatles wrote!

This was an enjoyable panel discussion. I’ve worked in non-fiction the majority of my publishing career, and the idea of editing together a multi-author anthology of my own has occurred to me. The insights from Ms. Casey and Mr. Blauner highlighted one thing for sure: organizing and editing an anthology is a bloody lot of work. So maybe not for me, not in the immediate future…

Working with Amazon Publishing: Author and Editor Perspectives

Maybe I didn’t read the description correctly, or maybe I projected onto it what I wanted to see.

Global bestselling author Marc Levy (P.S. from Paris), bestselling author Kimberly Rae Miller (Coming Clean and Beautiful Bodies), author Jimin Han (A Small Revolution), discuss their experiences working with Amazon Publishing and how they create a community of readers through Amazon, social media, and events, in a conversation moderated by an Amazon Publishing Editorial Director, Carmen Johnson.

Within moments of starting, it became clear this panel was going to be a self-congratulatory, mutual-admiration circle-jerk to promote Amazon Publishing, rather than any kind of meaningful discussion from various perspectives (good, bad, and ugly) about working with Amazon Publishing. Not at all what I was looking for, and I left immediately.

The Madding Crowd

As always, whether as a reader, a writer, an editor, or a publisher, I enjoy walking the vendor booths at Brooklyn BookFest. For one thing, the park at Borough Hall is beautiful, and BookFest almost always has nice weather in September (though a little hot).

Most of the major traditional publishers (HarperCollins, Random Penguin, etc) were represented, as well as academic publishers with a presence in and about New York (I saw the Oxford, Columbia, and Princeton University Press teams, among others).

But the Brooklyn Literary Scene is a vibrant one, benefiting from its place in the shadow of Manhattan’s traditional publishing giants, and the plethora of indie book stores, and the talented writers (published and aspiring) who live and work in the area. As such, many more indie presses were in evidence, and no few indie authors as well, not to mention a number of booksellers, writing programs, and author services.

Altogether, it created an exciting tapestry of readers, writers, and all things literary. If you’re a lover of books, definitely make a date for next year’s Brooklyn Book Festival. I’ve already decided, I’m getting a table next year, so stop by and see me!

—33—

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Brooklyn BookFest: A Retrospective Last week (September 11-17) was the Brooklyn Book Festival, one of the premiere book festivals in the US, and the largest free literary event in New York City.

[joshuazev]

On everything must go:

I feel like now I need to put a disclaimer before every post that says, “It’s possible that I might completely go over the same topic on accident.”  I have a pretty good idea of what I’ve written, but like I said before, a lot of the same thoughts might be written on the paper.

Now that we’ve cleared that up I want to talk about my new way of critiquing comedy films.  I’m sure it’s far from revolutionary, but I think the best way to take a step back and answer the question, “What is your favorite comedy of all time?” is by trying to remember the movie that made you laugh the most and that you thought was funniest your first time watching it; in theaters, at home, on a plane, whatever.  For example, I can remember the first time I saw “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”  I rented it with my mom and over the course of three days had seen it three times and thought it was funnier and funnier each time.  It was a bit of an anomaly, but I think my age had a lot to do with it too.  I was so young.  I can also remember the first time I saw “40 Year Old Virgin” and “Knocked Up”—both in theaters—and I thought both of those movies were hilarious.  Recently, when I’ve revisited those movies I’ve found them to be less funny throughout their entirety, but I’ve appreciated them more as just overall really good movies that also just happen to be really funny.  Last week I saw “The Big Sick,” and it was very much in the same vein as the more contemporary “Apatow comedy” that’s around a lot, lately.  I thought it was very very funny.  If I saw it again at home, do I think I would feel the same way?  Probably not.  So much of comedies have to do with the unknown.  You have no idea what the joke will be or when it’ll happen, which makes the first time you see a comedy much like the experience of watching someone do stand-up.  The first time is great.  When a stand-up act is good, it’s amazing!  The flow, the energy, the jokes, the laughter.  It’s all one continuous stream that is constantly building you up and then breaking you down.  A comedy is the same: unknown, new, mysterious, etc.  Have you ever been to a comedy club and seen the same comedian do the same set?  It’s kind of shocking.  Granted, the majority of the audience probably hasn’t seen the comedian before, but to the person that has…the jokes are stale.  You know what’s coming.  You know how it’s going to be prepared and then subsequently delivered to you.   I saw Kevin Tate perform twice at Chocolate Sundaes in Los Angeles.  Unbeknownst to me he was a regular.  The first time I saw his set he came on with the jealous boyfriend persona.  It was hilarious.  He had one specific thing about stalking his girl’s photos on Facebook and scrolling through the likes that absolutely brought the house down.  I saw him again at a later date and was excited to see his new material.  Sadly, it was exactly the same, word for word almost, with the exception of some singling out different members of a new audience.  I’ve seen Kevin Hart twice.  I saw him perform, “Let Me Explain” and “What Now?”  Electric.  Both times.  And both of the shows were filmed and later released in theaters and you can guess it, when I saw them on the TV, it was not the same.  It was a present whose contents I already knew.  So, back to movies.  At the end of the day the studios are banking on people seeing the film in theaters.  And I think lately there hasn’t been as much of a trend to buy films on DVD or Blu-Ray.  Maybe that’s to be expected or maybe I’m speaking from my own experience.  When I was really young I might see a comedy twice in the theaters, buy it on DVD, and then watch it a couple times at home.  Oddly enough, when I used to go to the video store with my Mom or Dad and we needed a new movie to see it was always so hard to select a comedy.  We had seen all the good ones already and trying to find the right one to watch was always so difficult.  So, does this change the criteria for a comedy?  Should it have more to do with how you felt the first time you watched it or are there only a few transcendent comedies that stand the test of time?  Like all types of art the answer is purely subjective.  There is no universal opinion.  A lot of people might agree, but no comedy is liked by everyone.  With that being said, if I were to answer what are my five favorite comedies of all time based on the first criteria (how funny was it the first time you saw it) and the second (comedy that lasts) I would say (in no particular order), “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, American Pie, Road Trip, 40 Year Old Virgin, and (Unknown title).”  Just for good measure the funniest stand up set I’ve ever seen live was probably either Dave Chapelle at the Neptune or JB Smoove at the Comedy Parlor in Bellevue (I know I mentioned that in my comedy post earlier in the year).  Funniest person I know?  Danny Schmidt.  Hands down.  That dude is walking, talking stand-up.  And I sound like a broken record, but the longer he doesn’t do stand up the longer we all have to wait to see natural greatness on stage.  My man.

I’ve always been super intrigued by comedic actors in serious roles.  Jim Carrey in “Eternal Sunshine.”  Adam Sandler in “Punch Drunk Love.”  Jamie Foxx in “Ray.”  Monique in “Precious.”  Robin Williams in half of his catalogue.  Will Ferrell in “Everything Must Go.”  Whoopie in “Color Purple.”  I only wish it wasn’t the way of Hollywood to allow most of them one opportunity to showcase their dramatic talents.  

…

I just had a conversation about creativity with one of my brothers and it’s so refreshing to hear the ideas that he had and his plans to bring them to fruition.  I think the opportunity to think creatively; to be able to allow enough space and time in one’s schedule and daily lives to express themselves is one of the most important aspects of human life.  Money is obviously a primary motivation and why wouldn’t it be?  It’s a blessing to be able to profit off of your own ideas.  Anyway, I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise or reveal the idea because it’s not mine to reveal, but this particular dude has a pretty straightforward plan that has some real strong possibilities.  One thing that I think we’ve trained ourselves to do is to think of an idea, hear that it’s been done before, and immediately go on to the next idea instead of spending more time to say, “Yeah, that has been done before, but I think I can add my own flavor to the mix, to make it even more attractive or survive in its own niche.”  Our example was LimeBike in Seattle.  I can’t remember everything that existed before LimeBike, but I think there was a period of CitiBikes and Alaska Airline bikes or something?  My memory fails me.  LimeBike appears to be enjoying some good success (it’s obviously subject to change because of fall and winter coming up).  I couldn’t help but think to myself, “How has no one thought of this before?”  It seems like a simple enough idea.  Put bikes around the city and let people ride them for cheap.  Allow people to set up payment plans and put a balance on their account, so they don’t need to worry about paying every time.  Simple ideas.  Effective ones, too.  I’ve let our conversation be a lesson that every idea can be built on to become more original.  So much of it is a matter of consolidation.  Take the idea of a physical grocery list.  Sometimes we forget to put stuff on there.  Then I heard there are refrigerators that give you an inventory of what’s inside and how much of everything there is.  Then there are grocery list apps.  Not great, but serviceable ones.  Since phones are the status quo there has to be a grocery list app that performs the functions of those special fridges, does what the bad apps do, and can answer the questions of, “Am I running out of milk?  What ingredients do I have to make this curry that I saw online and which ones do I need?  If I’m going vegan, what foods should I buy?”  On that you can probably implement an app that gives you a store inventory depending on where you are and so on.  See?  The blocks have no limit no many you can stack.  If there is already something that does everything I just expressed?  So be it.  We can always add more.  

…

To be seen and not to be seen.  To need space, but to feel alone.  To enjoy attention, but prefer your privacy.  To feel energetic, but remain lethargic.  To love to walk, but to feel paralyzed.  To run along the bridge, but to check the drop.  To be fair, but to be an opportunist.  To be optimistic, but prefer lamenting.  To see the lightbulb turn on, but to let it burn out.  

…

In the midst of getting rid of all these things and being the main means of transportation for taking all of our unneeded shit to Goodwill I have had an epiphany.  Can you have a recurring epiphany?  We have so much unnecessary stuff.  I do.  We do.  We all do.  Sometimes I think of what my house will look like.  I look at my dad’s place as an example, my mom’s place and then my hopeful place.  Am I boring if I have a couple things inside?  Am I too much if I have too many things?  A long time ago I spoke of this vision I have sometimes right before I go to bed.  It’s this idea of a warehouse that is way down the road, but is vast and big and huge and seems to get bigger and bigger.  Well I also have a vision of a white space that just has random things dispersed throughout but in an organized fashion.  I don’t know if this is my vision for my home, but I think it could be similar.  Rooms for specific uses.  Creative zones.  A couple floors.  It’s like a museum exhibit meets any of those really minimal music videos where there is just the artist front and center against a one color background.  Maybe it’s too bougie.  Maybe.  Then again, what house am I getting any time soon?  Ha!

[vileart]

Tricknological Dramaturgy: B Dolan @ Edfringe 2017

Sage Francis & B Dolan present

TRICKNOLOGY

The Show That Promises To Fix Your Life In One Hour

**SNAPCHAT (BDolanSFR) or INSTAGRAM (BDolanSFR) message for a free Physic Reading**

6:35pm 4th -27th August @New Town Theatre Tickets: http://bit.ly/Tricknology

Following their award winning and smash success 2016 Fringe debut show ‘Strange Speech/Famous Development’, Sage Francis & B.Dolan are back to bring us ‘TRICKNOLOGY’. 

In this hour-long demonstration of patented spoken word, freestyle techniques, motivational daredevils, freestyle psychic readings the legendary Epic Beard Men expose the diabolical trickery

of slam poets, battle rappers, improv comics, sh*t mentalists, self-help gurus, li(f)e coaches, faith healers and reality TV presidents. This is what ‘The Secret’ would be if it actually worked. And if it was funny. 

'Think it, see it, feel it, know it, smell it, stop it!' 

It's time to violently open your chakras and get your squad goals realigned by these two monsters of the stage.

What was the inspiration for this performance?

Many people report feeling as if they’ve shifted into a simulation or an ‘alternate universe' in the past year.  It’s almost as if we are living in some kind of worst-case-scenario timeline where Prince, David Bowie and Charlie Murphy have died, democracy is being hacked, social media is collecting detailed analytics about us while basic facts are in hotly contested dispute, and our global fate is being manipulated daily via Reality TV production tactics.  

This performance was conceived to investigate why and how that shift could possibly have happened.  We approached this as two writers who wanted to investigate and monetize your ability to hack those glitches in the human mind, and talk about how charlatans, demagogues, slam poets, and even we as rappers rely on things like “Confirmation Bias” and bait-and-switch to manipulate a captive audience.  

Is performance still a good space for the public discussion of ideas?

I think it may be more important now than ever, for many reasons.  Everything about our modern life encourages us to consume media and sound off about it on our timelines in isolation.  Just being together in a physical space and experiencing the same thing can feel like an inherently political act, even if the subject-matter isn’t.   

The ability to look at each other and talk about ideas with no screens in between feels very vital to me.  Shows have a new feeling this year, and people have a different look in their eye when you talk to them.  That look lets me know people need to be here. 

How did you become interested in making performance?

I don’t ever remember making a conscious choice to be a performer.  For as long as I can remember, I was commanding people’s attention.  Even when I had no idea what to do with it.  So I tried a lot of things.  Sage Francis and I have both performed in a lot of ways.  

We met as spoken word artists, work together as rappers, have both performed with or without a DJ or a band... in a thousand different settings and crowd-sizes.  With crowds who sometimes don't speak our language.    At this year’s Fringe I’ll be attempting, for the first time, to perform as a cold-reading psychic.  It’s been a continual process of developing through those different modes and shows and fleshing out who I am / can be onstage over the years I think.   So my continuing interest and passion comes from pursuing and developing that always.    

Is there any particular approach to the making of the show?

With this show, Sage Francis & I started by assembling scraps of ideas we were inspired or struck by.  Documentaries, books, Youtube videos, instrumentals, and ideas we wanted to riff on.  We’re in constant contact throughout the year due to our music work, so for awhile we were just passing ideas back and forth and adding them to a google doc. 

Then at a certain point we started drawing connections between modes of performance and ideas to perform, and making an outline.  Bits of writing started to come together and sections started to get fleshed out and attached to musical ideas.   

We are going to be leaving a hopefully manageable amount of room in the show for improvisation however, and I expect the show to be ‘written’ live in some sense.  

I think Francis also is planning on bringing some of the interactions together as we go and trying different things, as our aim is to give the show a "Self-Help Seminar" feel and flow.  In a few sections I’ve written a couple different variations on the ’script' that I can move about within, or tailor to an audience member I’m talking to…  I expect both of us to experiment with deliveries and beats like a stand-up comedian would, throughout.  

Does the show fit with your usual productions?

Not at all.  Haha.  Not at fucking all.  Which I think we’re both excited about.   The usual for both of us is an hour long rap show with bits of spoken word mixed in, or performing time-trusted songs and pieces that people know and like on record.  

We will incorporate some of that this go around, but we’re both also attempting to do a lot of new and experimental material.  

What do you hope that the audience will experience?

Anything short of a psychotic break is fine.  Transcendent moments and spontaneous emotional release may occur.  During the show we will aim to provide moments of hope, despair, anxiety, bewilderment, confusion and delight.  

We will paint a dark picture with bright colors.  We intend to act like we are absolutely positive this shit is going to change your life, and if it doesn’t then we can’t be held responsible and it’s on YOU.  We send the positive energy out into the universe, collect our guarantee, and go back to our awesome lives.  I can't jumpstart your battery if you're not gonna put the clamp on the lead, you dig?

What strategies did you consider towards shaping this audience experience?

As mentioned, we mined a couple modes of performance that have been dominating our attention lately in regard to the state of the world.  First, we watched Donald Trump perform at his stump speeches for a year.  We watched Tony Robbins and Deepak Chopra documentaries and perceived their modes of performance and performative personal narratives.  

We also consulted both of our own back catalogues for some themes and performances that could be repurposed or brought into the show.  From there Francis went nuts procuring costumes and props.  I started giving freestyle psychic rap readings to fans one at a time via Snapchat to try and figure out how that part of the show could go.  

I also researched cold-reading and received a number of psychic readings. With other parts of the show that are more like monologues, songs or poems it’s been a more traditional memorization / rehearsal process.  

So it’s been a very unusual prep process, which is still underway heading into our first show.  

FINGERS CROSSED.  FRINGE FESTIVAL. EPIC BEARD MEN.  ADVANCED PLAYER MODE.  TRICKNOLOGY.

SAGE FRANCIS and B. DOLAN are two internationally renowned hip-hop lyricists & spoken word poets. Born and raised in Rhode Island, the duo share over 30 years collective touring history. 

Both dynamos - respectively touted for their lyricism, activism, humour & performance art - are represented in the UK by Scroobius Pip’s Speech Development label.

Each moved to New York City in search of the art-form, stumbled into the spoken word scene & developed a knack for razor sharp lyricism & stagecraft. Sage became an internet hit & received wide media critique in 2001 for his powerful, post 9/11 song ‘Makeshift Patriot’ & later formed Strange Famous Records. B Dolan has been releasing records on SFR since 2008. The performer enjoyed wide-spread attention for his activism in addressing homophobia in Hip-Hop and notably for his video single/campaign “Film The Police” which Russell Brand learns about in a highly entertaining episode of ‘The Trews’ In 2016, Dolan launched the ‘Make Racists Afraid Again’ hat campaign to counter-act not just President Trump’s ‘Make America Great Again’ merchandise line but to express solidarity with those opposing racism, homophobia and fascism worldwide. Make Racists Afraid went viral. It was adopted by protests far and wide, from Germany to USA. It even found it’s way onto USA Open golfer Andrew Johnston’s wardrobe.  A Synergy Concerts & One Inch Badge presentation @SynergyConcerts / @OneInchBadge / @BDolanSFR / @SageFrancis / @New_TownTheatre / @TheStandComedyClub

from the vileblog http://ift.tt/2u0oX2k

[lolyouthoughtidiot-blog]

An excerpt .

♕❦∞ I fucking love Mary Jane, I fucking love music, and I fucking love people. It's so funny to me that people give weed such a negative stigma but honestly it gives you strength. It opens up a compartment inside your brain that would otherwise be shut. Which is probably why it's illegal if you thought about it. Yet alcohol, which has caused many more issues and problems than weed, is normalized in our society 🤔 Is the government trying to disparage millions of its citizens everyday? Anyone can smoke, but not everyone trips in the same way. I believe not everyone is equipped with the mindset to transcend into a parallel and that's okay. Read up on marijuana and how the Native Americans made use of them in their time. It's no surprise to me as to why they were so fucking dope. Not everyone will experience the same feelings I have, or the same feelings he or she had, or the next person, which makes it understandable as to why some folks shy away from marijuana. They simply don't understand it. With that being said, the human psyche is so fucking beautiful and fragile to not be explored. I wish everyone could experience what I have experienced; I'm sure we would all coexist with each other because everything makes sense and everything is so much more beautiful. The world becomes vibrant and colorful. Not just visually but the dormant energy inside of you awakens. It will start moving, buzzing and tingle inside of you. Energy that could be used physically and/or mentally. Energy which will make you stay up all night where you find yourself having knotty conversations with yourself, questioning this so called thing we call "life" and your own fucking sanity. And again, that is okay. As I smoke more often, I realize smoking is just simply a pathway to expand your mind and horizons, to train that part of your brain that is so rigidly closed to be just a little more flexible. So that one day, that part of your brain can be naturally and easily accessible. Side note: I volunteer at the Psych ward where people have mental illnesses (I can talk about mental illnesses, the human mind and essentially Psych all day {trying to major in it} but that's a story for another time) and I thought about how if they received medicinal marijuana treatment, I know for a fact they would see and feel things differently. Things their mind usually doesn't let them. Though that probably can't be generalized and obviously each case is different, in layman's terms, weed mends a muddled mind, just like it mends mine. When you're high, it's not just for the sake of getting high. To me, it's getting to know myself more and more. Each time I get high, I get excited because I'm left anticipating what new idea or concept I'm going to learn about myself that trip. Or discover new ways my senses get amplified and how that's going to feel. I swear sometimes the best trips lead to the wildest epiphanies and those feelings and revelations stay with you forever--even when your sober yet those thoughts and ideas still seem to make sense. For example, it's like an idea was stored and tucked away inside of me for the longest time but it took me a trip to finally retrieve it. Once I bring that specific idea into light, it helps me use that information about myself that I didn't know before to grow into the person I'm going to be in the future. Which is what eventually made me realize: weed is so much more than we think. It's art. Music talks. Paintings move. Feelings become tangible. Life becomes alive. It's no surprise to me when I hear real artists reference weed or getting high in their work. Whether that is music, writing, drawing, having sex, whatever it is, it seems that true craft is always fostered through these outlets. And it's fucking graceful. So go ahead, make your grimace and judgments whenever I mention that "I smoked [am going to smoke] weed." or even with this post. Some people stay thinking they are far superior or that they are reaping benefits because they stay away from hard drugs like weed. They might judge me, they might judge my friends. They might not say shit to your face but boy are they thinking it. Maybe call you guys "stoners" or "potheads" jokingly here and there but guess what? It is so much more serious than that. They are the ones who sit locked up in a world that has so much more to offer than what they're experiencing right now. And the sad part is, they will ban themselves from it every fucking time by misdirecting their own inner trepidation from trying anything that is remotely different than the norm simply based on stereotypical reasoning. Honestly, you can pride yourself on that but it really gets you the other way. Closing your mind when you should really be opening it. To me, if you have a curious and eager mind that is supplied with the right framework to travel into a different dimension or even just to explore more about your soul, perhaps to just question our existence or is prepared to feel things you haven't before...for you to deliberately deprive yourself for whatever reason you have, then that my friend is on you. I won't understand it. I'll just tell you about all the experiences I had later in life when we're all settled down I guess. The experiences that I was able to have in college, that I took the initiate of having, as any free and wild young adult should, a time where they are about to enter their twenties, a time where journeys and explorations are at its peak because we have nothing to lose and only to gain, quests that may or may not be taken with the help drugs all with the true goal of understanding who you really are. Don't be so quick to plan out your picture perfect life, you are not even 21. It's not cute. Just don't sit there and regret that you had to miss out on those opportunities because you thought you had it all at the time, a time where you thought you were content with life but what happens if it shatters? Nothing in this world is permanent except your memories (under the right circumstances, fuck memory loss). "Nothing is forever. Value and color your current experiences because the world around you is temporary but the memories you make from them aren't." A quote by me ! :) I don't judge you for having sex and drinking as your way of having fun and discovering yourself, because yes I'm all for that too, but don't judge anyone for smoking weed then 🐸☕️ I truly do feel as though I am a better individual because of Marijuana. At the end of the day, whenever your high--the mind, heart and senses are in harmony with one another--and to me, that is true bliss. ♕❦∞ live luv Mary J bitches PS- I still really love my alcohol tho -RK

[lolyouthoughtidiot-blog]

♕❦∞ I fucking love Mary Jane, I fucking love music, and I fucking love people. It's so funny to me that people give weed such a negative stigma but honestly it gives you strength. It opens up a compartment inside your brain that would otherwise be shut. Which is probably why it's illegal if you thought about it. Yet alcohol, which has caused many more issues and problems than weed, is normalized in our society 🤔 Is the government trying to disparage millions of its citizens everyday? Anyone can smoke, but not everyone trips in the same way. I believe not everyone is equipped with the mindset to transcend into a parallel and that's okay. Read up on marijuana and how the Native Americans made use of them in their time. It's no surprise to me as to why they were so fucking dope. Not everyone will experience the same feelings I have, or the same feelings he or she had, or the next person, which makes it understandable as to why some folks shy away from marijuana. They simply don't understand it. With that being said, the human psyche is so fucking beautiful and fragile to not be explored. I wish everyone could experience what I have experienced; I'm sure we would all coexist with each other because everything makes sense and everything is so much more beautiful. The world becomes vibrant and colorful. Not just visually but the dormant energy inside of you awakens. It will start moving, buzzing and tingle inside of you. Energy that could be used physically and/or mentally. Energy which will make you stay up all night where you find yourself having knotty conversations with yourself, questioning this so called thing we call "life" and your own fucking sanity. And again, that is okay. As I smoke more often, I realize smoking is just simply a pathway to expand your mind and horizons, to train that part of your brain that is so rigidly closed to be just a little more flexible. So that one day, that part of your brain can be naturally and easily accessible. Side note: I volunteer at the Psych ward where people have mental illnesses (I can talk about mental illnesses, the human mind and essentially Psych all day {trying to major in it} but that's a story for another time) and I thought about how if they received medicinal marijuana treatment, I know for a fact they would see and feel things differently. Things their mind usually doesn't let them. Though that probably can't be generalized and obviously each case is different, in layman's terms, weed mends a muddled mind, just like it mends mine. When you're high, it's not just for the sake of getting high. To me, it's getting to know myself more and more. Each time I get high, I get excited because I'm left anticipating what new idea or concept I'm going to learn about myself that trip. Or discover new ways my senses get amplified and how that's going to feel. I swear sometimes the best trips lead to the wildest epiphanies and those feelings and revelations stay with you forever--even when your sober yet those thoughts and ideas still seem to make sense. For example, it's like an idea was stored and tucked away inside of me for the longest time but it took me a trip to finally retrieve it. Once I bring that specific idea into light, it helps me use that information about myself that I didn't know before to grow into the person I'm going to be in the future. Which is what eventually made me realize: weed is so much more than we think. It's art. Music talks. Paintings move. Feelings become tangible. Life becomes alive. It's no surprise to me when I hear real artists reference weed or getting high in their work. Whether that is music, writing, drawing, having sex, whatever it is, it seems that true craft is always fostered through these outlets. And it's fucking graceful. So go ahead, make your grimace and judgments whenever I mention that "I smoked [am going to smoke] weed." or even with this post. Some people stay thinking they are far superior or that they are reaping benefits because they stay away from hard drugs like weed. They might judge me, they might judge my friends. They might not say shit to your face but boy are they thinking it. Maybe call you guys "stoners" or "potheads" jokingly here and there but guess what? It is so much more serious than that. They are the ones who sit locked up in a world that has so much more to offer than what they're experiencing right now. And the sad part is, they will ban themselves from it every fucking time by misdirecting their own inner trepidation from trying anything that is remotely different than the norm simply based on stereotypical reasoning. Honestly, you can pride yourself on that but it really gets you the other way. Closing your mind when you should really be opening it. To me, if you have a curious and eager mind that is supplied with the right framework to travel into a different dimension or even just to explore more about your soul, perhaps to just question our existence or is prepared to feel things you haven't before...for you to deliberately deprive yourself for whatever reason you have, then that my friend is on you. I won't understand it. I'll just tell you about all the experiences I had later in life when we're all settled down I guess. The experiences that I was able to have in college, that I took the initiate of having, as any free and wild young adult should, a time where they are about to enter their twenties, a time where journeys and explorations are at its peak because we have nothing to lose and only to gain, quests that may or may not be taken with the help drugs all with the true goal of understanding who you really are. Don't be so quick to plan out your picture perfect life, you are not even 21. It's not cute. Just don't sit there and regret that you had to miss out on those opportunities because you thought you had it all at the time, a time where you thought you were content with life but what happens if it shatters? Nothing in this world is permanent except your memories (under the right circumstances, fuck memory loss). "Nothing is forever. Value and color your current experiences because the world around you is temporary but the memories you make from them aren't." A quote by me ! :) I don't judge you for having sex and drinking as your way of having fun and discovering yourself, because yes I'm all for that too, but don't judge anyone for smoking weed then 🐸☕️ I truly do feel as though I am a better individual because of Marijuana. At the end of the day, whenever your high--the mind, heart and senses are in harmony with one another--and to me, that is true bliss. ♕❦∞ live luv Mary J bitches PS- I still really love my alcohol tho

[lolyouthoughtidiot-blog]

An excerpt .

♕❦∞ I fucking love Mary Jane, I fucking love music, and I fucking love people. It's so funny to me that people give weed such a negative stigma but honestly it gives you strength. It opens up a compartment inside your brain that would otherwise be shut. Which is probably why it's illegal if you thought about it. Yet alcohol, which has caused many more issues and problems than weed, is normalized in our society 🤔 Is the government trying to disparage millions of its citizens everyday? Anyone can smoke, but not everyone trips in the same way. I believe not everyone is equipped with the mindset to transcend into a parallel and that's okay. Read up on marijuana and how the Native Americans made use of them in their time. It's no surprise to me as to why they were so fucking dope. Not everyone will experience the same feelings I have, or the same feelings he or she had, or the next person, which makes it understandable as to why some folks shy away from marijuana. They simply don't understand it. With that being said, the human psyche is so fucking beautiful and fragile to not be explored. I wish everyone could experience what I have experienced; I'm sure we would all coexist with each other because everything makes sense and everything is so much more beautiful. The world becomes vibrant and colorful. Not just visually but the dormant energy inside of you awakens. It will start moving, buzzing and tingle inside of you. Energy that could be used physically and/or mentally. Energy which will make you stay up all night where you find yourself having knotty conversations with yourself, questioning this so called thing we call "life" and your own fucking sanity. And again, that is okay. As I smoke more often, I realize smoking is just simply a pathway to expand your mind and horizons, to train that part of your brain that is so rigidly closed to be just a little more flexible. So that one day, that part of your brain can be naturally and easily accessible. Side note: I volunteer at the Psych ward where people have mental illnesses (I can talk about mental illnesses, the human mind and essentially Psych all day {trying to major in it} but that's a story for another time) and I thought about how if they received medicinal marijuana treatment, I know for a fact they would see and feel things differently. Things their mind usually doesn't let them. Though that probably can't be generalized and obviously each case is different, in layman's terms, weed mends a muddled mind, just like it mends mine. When you're high, it's not just for the sake of getting high. To me, it's getting to know myself more and more. Each time I get high, I get excited because I'm left anticipating what new idea or concept I'm going to learn about myself that trip. Or discover new ways my senses get amplified and how that's going to feel. I swear sometimes the best trips lead to the wildest epiphanies and those feelings and revelations stay with you forever--even when your sober yet those thoughts and ideas still seem to make sense. For example, it's like an idea was stored and tucked away inside of me for the longest time but it took me a trip to finally retrieve it. Once I bring that specific idea into light, it helps me use that information about myself that I didn't know before to grow into the person I'm going to be in the future. Which is what eventually made me realize: weed is so much more than we think. It's art. Music talks. Paintings move. Feelings become tangible. Life becomes alive. It's no surprise to me when I hear real artists reference weed or getting high in their work. Whether that is music, writing, drawing, having sex, whatever it is, it seems that true craft is always fostered through these outlets. And it's fucking graceful. So go ahead, make your grimace and judgments whenever I mention that "I smoked [am going to smoke] weed." or even with this post. Some people stay thinking they are far superior or that they are reaping benefits because they stay away from hard drugs like weed. They might judge me, they might judge my friends. They might not say shit to your face but boy are they thinking it. Maybe call you guys "stoners" or "potheads" jokingly here and there but guess what? It is so much more serious than that. They are the ones who sit locked up in a world that has so much more to offer than what they're experiencing right now. And the sad part is, they will ban themselves from it every fucking time by misdirecting their own inner trepidation from trying anything that is remotely different than the norm simply based on stereotypical reasoning. Honestly, you can pride yourself on that but it really gets you the other way. Closing your mind when you should really be opening it. To me, if you have a curious and eager mind that is supplied with the right framework to travel into a different dimension or even just to explore more about your soul, perhaps to just question our existence or is prepared to feel things you haven't before...for you to deliberately deprive yourself for whatever reason you have, then that my friend is on you. I won't understand it. I'll just tell you about all the experiences I had later in life when we're all settled down I guess. The experiences that I was able to have in college, that I took the initiate of having, as any free and wild young adult should, a time where they are about to enter their twenties, a time where journeys and explorations are at its peak because we have nothing to lose and only to gain, quests that may or may not be taken with the help drugs all with the true goal of understanding who you really are. Don't be so quick to plan out your picture perfect life, you are not even 21. It's not cute. Just don't sit there and regret that you had to miss out on those opportunities because you thought you had it all at the time, a time where you thought you were content with life but what happens if it shatters? Nothing in this world is permanent except your memories (under the right circumstances, fuck memory loss). "Nothing is forever. Value and color your current experiences because the world around you is temporary but the memories you make from them aren't." A quote by me ! :) I don't judge you for having sex and drinking as your way of having fun and discovering yourself, because yes I'm all for that too, but don't judge anyone for smoking weed then 🐸☕️ I truly do feel as though I am a better individual because of Marijuana. At the end of the day, whenever your high--the mind, heart and senses are in harmony with one another--and to me, that is true bliss. ♕❦∞ live luv Mary J bitches PS- I still really love my alcohol tho