#something’s wrong w me fr
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VERY long Ramble incoming
honestly now that I'm looking at the auraboa lore situation, I'm just disappointed. There was such POTENTIAL in the idea of the Loop and the horror of a new generation inexplicably being disconnected from it, forcing the newly hatched children into a world totally separate from that perceived by their parents (I mean, hell, they perceive TIME differently!).... but then the writer(s?) just fell ass backwards into Icky Tropes.
I feel like I can see what the idea was, especially with the recent alterations to the Encyclopedia entry... It seems like staff fundamentally understands the true Horror potential here, but... Instead, through the short story, they proposed it through the lens of a condescending outsider character, turning the fears of the older generation into something trivial. And also weirdly demeaning the Auroboa's situation by portraying them as overreacting.
Why... why would you do that? Like, from a storytelling perspective? What's gained from that? Why not embrace the true horror and even Emotional significance of that disruption? Why instead go for "ohh we NEED outsider help we NEED to be saved because we are so helpless and it is so Silly that we, creatures who have never experienced such things, do not know what sleep is"????
And if they WANTED to have a condescending outsider, I feel like they COULD have done that, but it would have to have that character realize the horror at some point. And make it obvious that their attitude towards distressed parents and children facing Eldritch Shit and the Sudden Deconstruction of it was not cool!
(or at the very least be a bit more...idk. Consistent with said outsider character? Juniper just goes from "omg I am so honored that the fascinating creatures of the behemoth have chosen me to speak to" to "oh their wasting my time because they don't know what sleep is. I'd rather be sleeping!! 🙄" like girl... c'mon now. Why are we trivializing it like this. Do you want me as the reader to be invested in their plight or not.)
I mean come on. They're beings connected through one networked hivemind-like system, yet each still maintains a silver of individuality that allows them to move freely throughout the Behemoth that they care for. And they've got an eldritch understanding of time that no other dragon could understand. They're seeing the future, past, and present unfold simultaneously. They're witnessing the birth and death of the world at the same time, and have no way to communicate it to other dragons. The best they can do is maintain their home, and even then, they see its roots spread and decay all at once.
And then the newest generation is suddenly disconnected. An inherent link between parent and child and all dragons in-between, that has existed since the creation of their species, is just suddenly GONE for the newest births. With NO explanation for it. The children have no easy way of communicating with their parents. The children are experiencing time in a way that was not meant for their species. They've forcefully been shoved into a circadian rhythm that they are Not! Built for!
The only way a parent could communicate properly with their child would be when the latter is sleeping, something that is also completely foreign to this species. It would be terrifying for all involved!!!
They are literally experiencing eldritch horror from the perspective of the eldritch being forced into the mortal.
Like why WOULDN'T there be panic!!! And why would that panic be trivialized! Why are we only shown the perspective of an outsider who looks at this situation and goes "Oh the silly tree beasts are being so silly over nothing, it's no big deal!"
That and the way the auraboas talk to outsiders. Like. There was such potential there. Real opportunity to explore how ancient, time-bending beings would communicate to someone who couldn't even BEGIN to understand the intricacies of it.
Instead we got what feels more like baby talk (even described as though they were hatchlings enunciating their first words, which... I dunno man, maybe we don't want to compare them to children like That) and less like... Beings that experience all of time at once. I mean, the hatchlings and the adults speak the exact same way, and that doesn't make any sense given the literal time barrier going on.
I totally get why people thought there was just a language barrier and that auraboas had their own language, thus causing the disjointed speak, and not that it was because They Do Not Experience Time Like We Do. And I feel it would've been far easier to get it across by just... I dunno. Do anything else?? I saw someone on here suggest they speak in the "wrong" tenses, or using multiple tenses in the same sentence, which I think would've been far more clear.
Like, as opposed to "saplings wilt! saplings silent!" just "the saplings will wilt in silence, they've wilted in silence, they are wilting silently." Said all at once like all things are true simultaneously. And if we're going for hivemind, have each auraboa speak in a different tense, all at the same time, and have them switch it up every time. Have our outsider get confused and be like "which is it? are they wilting now, or have they already wilted?" and the cluster of auraboas respond in a cacophony of yes's, no's, and maybe's all at once.
Would've probably gotten across the "alien" vibe they were supposedly going for far better than wide-eyed desperation for an outsider's guidance conveyed through disjointed, in-world described as baby speech.
And also maybe would've had less accidental connotations. Because as it stands, I completely see why people have made the connections to the real world where they have. This doesn't read like eldritch timey-wimey intrigue, or even a respectful look at how younger generations can become detached from their families' cultures over time and the struggles that come with it. It reads like a culture being perceived by an ignorant outsider who (despite supposedly respecting these dragons) scoffs and rolls their eyes because the tree beasts with their funny words are being silly again, and that Hey, isn't it actually a great thing that the children are fundamentally different in all manners now? Because now they can join the rest of us in the "real world."
Yknow. Ick.
(I Personally think it would've been better to have the perspective be one of the Auraboas themselves, especially one of the children, to really understand what was going on here. Give us the full brunt of the mind of a creature experiencing all of time interwoven as one shape. The waters fall and the oceans crash with waves. They've now fallen to drought. The ocean has yet to be born. Caves have been carved out through the waters' currents. And when I break from this timeline, I open my eyes to see a child, the child not yet born, the child born now, the child born yesterday. Why can't I hear it? Why couldn't I hear it? Why won't I ever hear it?)
I dunno. People more qualified than me to speak on this matter have already torn the lore apart, I'm just... dropping my own two cents. Potential got weirdly squandered and we ended up instead with unfortunate implications and tropes that could be connected a liiiittle too awkwardly to irl situations.
*Also, before anyone points out: Yes, I know the hatchlings aren't COMPLETELY detached from the Loop and can join it when they sleep. But the fact is, these thangs never had to sleep before. That wasn't in their species' nature. So that's still weird and foreign for them on both sides. And since the hatchlings now have a circadian rhythm, they can't stay connected to the loop permanently. And also Also, seeing as the previous generations aren't experiencing time linearly, who's to say they even recognize when their child joins the loop? They'll speak with an echo of their child when that child was last asleep ages ago, not knowing that it's not them presently, because there is no 'present' for the older generations.
#i also really really do not understand the ''word count'' explanation given by staff.#I'm honestly rather lenient with ignorance happenings like this so long as they're remedied but.#cutting out important details of lore Fundamental to the understanding of it? For? ''Word count''?#Like firstly. Surely someone on the team is skilled enough to pull that off right? To get all that needs to be said in a short story?#but secondly. w. why is there a word count limit to begin with. This is Your House. Why are you limiting yourself unless this is like#a paid-by-word situation and they don't have the money to afford something longer#but like it feels like shooting yourself in the foot if you're going to write something that leaves a ton of information vague instead of#properly explaining your lore so there's no unfortunate misunderstandings. But I dunno. I'm just rambling#flight rising#fr auraboa#I'll probably be incorporating my Own version of the lore regardless of what the staff decides to do with this presentation of it#or just ignoring it outright hskdgjhskjh we shall See#Also if anything I've said here is Wrong in some way or comes across ignorant in and of itself. Let me know
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it happens every now and then but it's always such a pleasant surprise when i realize i'm actually rly happy with my art and where i am skill-wise
#hina.txt#i think i mentioned in passing that doing art fr this au has reinvented my art process and completely shifted my style#and i honestly couldnt be happier w it :'>#it reflects in my output too like. i have not skipped a day of drawing since *checks calendar* may 28#which is insane and will never not be insane 2 say out loud#i love u creative high i love u recognizing progress and personal growth#poses and angles that wld have put up a fight a month ago r coming so much easier#same with visual storytelling n body language#knock on wood but i think im starting to Get it ?? my expressions n concepts r slowly getting more and more dynamic and i am. :'D !!!#kinda crazy what a muse can do#like dont get me wrong i never Disliked creating art fr jjk canon#but something abt this au has flipped a switch and i dont feel Stuck like i sometimes wld creating fr canon
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will y'all still love me when this fic drops
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its so mindboggling that people can go “how can you say free palestine if you’re queer” as if the opinions a person has changes the validity of their life??? yall sound real similar to the people saying trans people are a danger to society
#like how can you seperate that#mass murder of a group based on something they habe zero control over is wrong full stop#stg though i see this So Much and it makes zero sense#yeah ok i dont like the values the far right holds but i dont think they should all die?#and like also completely disregards even the *possibility* that there are queer ppl in palestine?#So Interesting to me bc as soon as you can depersonalize ot suddenly you side with the oppressors#i just actually cant stop thinking abt this#like how can you say ‘trans rights’ and then turn around and ignore the bombing of hospitals#how can you say ‘equal rights’ for any marginalized community while not seeing this as a genocide#whats different?#genuinely what is different#yall literally sound like the transphobes trying to say most people regret transitioning when there’s overwhelming evidence this isnt true#like holy texts didnt matter when they were used against gay ppl but now you use it as justification for the mass slaughter of palestinians#obviously not to say the bible actually said any shit against gay people but like. yall fr#since when have we let people’s *interpretation* of holy texts validate murder#what is different#i know im prolly preaching to the choir and also im lowkey terrified of this reaching an audience that disagrees#bc i am not prepared to come up w evidence based arguments#i do not have time for that#rambles
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thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.
#toy txt post#i love to make an alloaro oc whos a woman navigating a usually masculine role in society far before we ever coined aromanticism#whos Aromanticism informs so much about her but with no language to adequately describe it she doesnt really know how#and so she does kinda blow up her relationships by accident bc she does Want human connection#and what she Wants is to fuck someone whos friends with her and chill about it who will just be fucking Normal about it#and Not Make It A Big Thing and also for other people to not make it a big thing and they can hang out and be friends#but never fucking domesticize her. and its in part a rejection of the misogynistic role of Wife in historic (and even modern) society of#course but its also a rejection of the relationship hierarchy of Wife. of the romanticization. bc of her circumstances the only role on#offer of course has been Wife. but in the hypothetical situation where she was offered the role of Husband? she would at first probably#accept that. in theory. it sounds fine. sure. but if she tried to LIVE like that. to Live even as a Husband. it would Also be Wrong. to put#any of her relationships into that framework is to fundamentally ruin them forever. and she is living in a society that wants that to be#the only framework. anyway its crazy how ive made a character like that exactly Twice at least#(Bytte and Lucille. Bytte is a bit more genderfucky than Lucille. Lucilles gender is also ugly violent scary woman. for reasons)#both of these characters rn are cis. well. not /cis/ cis but theyre afab and women bc i want to explore that but i am thinking lately about#a transfem take. to explore. ive considered it and i dont think i want that for Bytte? all that means is watch out for future ocs#i could do a character very similar to Bytte as transfem and it would be really good but theres something about#and honestly it would probably make more SENSE for Bytte? due to gender roles in like ancient sparta or whatever?#but if shes transfem in sparta i think there would be subtle nuanced differences in how ppl interact w her that i dont necessarily want for#her? if that makes sense. i know this reasoning sounds weak in a vacuum but i Promise i have way more characters than this and i do want to#explore things differently. i promise there are complex transfem characters in witchverse and also complex characters whos asab im not#decided on yet. there are some im not sure i ever want to be decided on? the downside of being incredibly specific about fictional#characters is that it doesnt leave you all room for headcanons#sorry. good news is you can go make your own ocs about it 👍 idk. much to explore. much to think about#also sometimes a ''''cis'''' character CAN have a fun gender to play with honestly its just that mainstream media Never does#so theres no good way to be like no but listenn i swear its fun#anyway this is all moot cos im not a fucking writer im just making up little guys and doing nothing#also anyway. i think my gender is also aro and a little ace. personally. also before u get mad at me about these 2 ocs being like#probelmatic aro rep or smth: 1) aforementioned its moot anyway im not even a writer 2) these arent the only alloaro ocs i have its just#funny that i made this one twice lmao 3) my brain is huge. my ocs are rad. suck my ass. ♡#if only i Was a writer tho god. thered be sooooo many aro characters fr fr
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i juyst typed something on here an d i have no idea what it said or who it was to or what
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also I ended up at my friends boyfriends place today and they have the most sopping wet cat. like it's literally Her. the poor little meow meow
#i fell in love w her and i genuinely now feel compelled to get to know my friends bf on a level#where its not weird to ask to hang out w his cat. there is something wrong w me fr#personal
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pos: i have written 1100 words today, meaning i have broken 1k for the first time in months
neg: it is rpf smut
#win some lose some#i'm still gonna publish it so lmao#mer rambles#if you are fundamentally opposed to rpf perhaps you should reconsider following me and also look at my ao3 handle#it's halfwheeze. which is a reference. to buzzfeed unsolved. because i made a new ao3 to write buzzfeed unsolved rpf#they're not even buzzfeed unsolved anymore. it's wild. i feel very strange thinking about how long i've known those boys#it's not shyan fic to be clear. i'm hyperfixating on DIFFERENT youtubers now#something wrong w me fr
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#thhehhrrrresss something wrong w me. like fr#like the only person who did this to me was myself#ive never stared at this many pics of assna giroud at once before. Cringe#théo talking
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I was meant for something bigger I was meant for something bigger I was meant for something bigger *does Greek and calm down and stops doing it* I was meant for something bigger I was meant for something bigger I was meant for something bigger
#personal#=(#it will be my second fall fr#something bigger and 3 years later I am still not doing it ugh#something bigger and I failed my first attempt at it ugh#does anyone else feel like they're meant for smth bigger or is there smth deeply wrong w me be honest
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cannot function without headphones
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On the one hand please reblog your stuff because it's good and you deserve self-promotion; on the other hand I keep going "ooh my God a new halfwheeze fi- oh wait"
UYGFTDRGTHYJUKIJUYG i have so many half done fics rn that the promotion of my old stuff save me
promotion of my old stuff
save me promotion of my old stuff
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The way my ankles are so so very weak and feeble and fr feel like they're gonna disintegrate after standing for like a few hours
#not that I'm saying I'm the problem bc fuck jobs that insist you stand as long as you're on the clock#but like. bruh this is inconvenient#i just want to make money but i fr feel like my ankles are gonna snap if i stay longer than 4 hours#like is there something wrong w me. no one else seems to be at this level of pain there and they all regularly stay much longer than me wtf
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very seriously considering launching an art patreon. Lmk if this is smth u guys would be into 🫣
#it’d be cheap asf too like $1 tier and maybe a $5 tier altho idk what ppl would be interested in#I was thinking maybe early access to the comic (it won’t be paywalled it’d just be early looks before I’d post it wherever I end up posting#and maybe videos/tutorials/livestreams if I could figure out how tf to do that#and coloring pages??? monthly art giveaways for patrons?? stuff like that#🤔#sanchoyorambles#I could also just do it on kofi so u can buy whichever Thing ur interested in as a one time purchase ofc?#anyone who’d be interested lmk I will actually look into it if multiple ppl are seriously interested 😭👍#I’m honestly so Tired in general of It All this might be the year I snap and look into going to college for art#or something idk I’m kinda at my limit 😂 if I’m being fr 😂#I’m unfit to work public jobs 😂🫶 but if I quit with no backup plan No insurance in debt I’m gonna have a lot of ppl (my family) pissed!!#yeehaw 🤠#I wish I still had my van so I could just live in it and drive away!!!! instead I’m driving to my job in 5 mins 🏃🏻 okie tag rant over goodby#there’s nothing wrong w the job btw it’s entirely a me problem they’re flexible abt part time hours and it has insurance 🙃 and everyone was#very nice it’s entirely Me#erm the pay is kinda ass tho I will say that#maybe my own fault for asking for part time but just the hourly rate is ass
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I'm so mentally ill about Shidou Ryusei
#Kaneshiro. Drop Episode Shidou. For me<3#I really want to know what's up with him#Like does he have a backstory that explains his behavior or did he come out of the womb like that#Is his family normal. Are they not normal. Does he have a family.#Does he have friends.#I don't think so.#He's lower on my list of favorites but he's so. Fascinating#So is whatever he has going on with Sae#Although I want to know what Sae's point of view is#Something tells me that if they share screentime again#There's a nonzero chance Sae will pull a post-Spain-moment-with-Rin on him#But w/e#Pxg match dreams 4 shidou: I want him to fight Kaiser#I want him to get along w the team (incl. or excl. Rin idk)#I want him and Loki to get along#txt#+ the mental illness part is fr I can't stand people who don't like him#He has never done anything wrong!! (Apart from the atrocities)#It's ok though I can stand it I'm just dramatic🫶
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cant and wont break patient confidentiality, but just wanna say whoever makes people feel as if their sexuality is a mental disorder deserves to go to hell
#the amount of times i had to explain to patients that their sexuality has NOTHING to do w if they do or dont have a mental disorder. ugh#or hearing patients talk about tbeir experiences as part of the lgbtq hurts me my dude#i will never ever ever let one of my patients feel like their sexuality is something wrong w them#ofc it impacts their experiences in the world unfortunately but they should never feel its something wrong#>:(#delete later#anyway guess whose at work w a migraine and on the verge of vomiting#but cant leave bc my senior doc left on urgent buisness so im here dealing w shit alone :-)#im gonna finish my urgent buisness then peace out fr i cant deal right now
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