#something you created with a loved one even

[luxet0bscuritas-blog]

This!! Always, always support your local bookstore! Seriously, every time you walk through their door, you’re bringing a little extra light into their day. There’s something special about the way their faces brighten when they see a familiar face wandering the aisles, or the genuine conversations about the books you’ve picked out and the ones they’re excited to recommend. They truly care about what you choose, sometimes even thinking about adding a few extra copies to the shelves, just in case someone else might love it too. You’re not just a customer to them - you’re a fellow book lover, sharing a passion and helping create a space that thrives because of you.

Here's your daily reminder that bookstores keep the love of reading alive — but they also keep neighborhoods beautiful. They are places to gather, to celebrate stories, to find community.

Please do your holiday shopping at your local independent bookstore, if you are lucky enough to still have one.

[fishnapple]

What new skill should you learn

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

CARNELIAN

The most prominent one that I get is public speaking skills. Your usual way of speaking might not get you enough attention when you are in front of a crowd or talking to a large audience, even online one. May be your voice is too soft or sounds quite young or bubbly, or you don't like to share too much about yourself, your opinions. It can make you seem more approachable, but in situations that you need to assert yourself, to be taken seriously, then it can become a disadvantage. And when you are in those situations, you might over compensate by being defensive or rigid, trying to assert yourself more than necessary.

You need to develop a firmer tone, and the words you say, your body language should also convey a sense of authority. But it's not a battle for power and domination, you just need to make yourself more visible, to make your energy more solid and grounded. This will help you in situations that require exchanging ideas in a large group, delivering your message to many people, rallying, persuading, teaching, or simply telling a story.

Research more about social skills in a group setting, observe the people that you feel are popular or well respected, observe their body language, their posture, their tones in different kinds of conversations, their choices of words, their silence, etc. This may sound mechanical but if you treat this skill just like math or painting, instead of thinking that social skill is something innate, you will see that with appropriate observations and enough practice, you can achieve a certain level of proficiency. This will open more opportunities for you and raise your confidence.

CLEAR QUARTZ

The stone of Pluto, South node and North node, all are "standing up", they are trying to make a statement (each side of the crystal is very narrow, it can fall over with just a gust of wind, I normally couldn't replicate the same position). The theme is about changing the old and embracing a new mindset. I think it has to do with how you take care of your appearance, your style.

Right now, you seem to be staying in the safe zone when it comes to styling yourself, making yourself more beautiful. This might be due to restrictions in early childhood, traditional values, what society deems appropriate or trendy. You might not want to focus too much on appearance because it seems superficial or vain, or takes too much of your time and energy.

But doing so will rope you the chance to express yourself more truthfully. Beautify yourself not because of how you will be perceived, but because it's a way to show love for yourself. You look into a mirror, you feel happy, you want to compliment yourself, you feel that silly stray strand of hair is adorable, not thinking about how will everyone say, how you are not like someone.

So the advice for you here is to be more adventurous in styling, expand your knowledge about fashion and styling, explore yourself more , give yourself the freedom to experiment more, to rebel more. Creating a unique image, a "public persona" is not just for some celebrities, everyone can benefit from that. Because behind that seemingly surface action, is the journey of discovering your deeper self. As within so without.

The theme of transformation is also applied to learning new languages. The languages should be totally different from your mother tongue, giving you more chance to connect with people from various parts of the world.

OBSIDIAN

The phrase "navigating the world" appeared in my mind. I got several meanings from this. One is in the literal sense as driving a vehicle, going around, navigating the roads, so learning to drive a new kind of vehicle might be the skill you should learn, or even learn to swim or row a boat. There are lots of movements, travelling and moving around. You should be more active in the physical sense. But this is not really about exercise or going to the gym, it's about moving your body, being in various places, experiencing different things. Your life in this period needs lots of expansion and movements. You might feel that you don't have enough resources or energy to go on trips, or you're simply someone who doesn't like travelling. But it will make your life stagnant. Travelling might not seem like a skill, but it is, all the planning, packing, preparation and the ability to adapt to the new place, all or these take skills.

Another one is navigating the complicated social construct. Maybe you feel it's hard to connect to people, there might be walls and the feeling of solitude and not fitting in, that there is something fundamentally different about you. The people that you managed to get closer to (it's likely that they approached you first) will stay close to you for a long time, you have no trouble maintaining a connection. The trouble lies in initiating or forming the connection. There might be an ego here that doesn't want to show their vulnerable side. Silly jokes and banters might seem childish to you. But learning to have fun in a social setting is much more rewarding than you think. Allow yourself to be a child, learn how to tell a story. Debating skills might also be worthwhile for you to learn, learn how to state your opinions clearly and defend your stance.

This group is strangely hard to read, I feel a certain resistance. You might feel that your personality isn't suitable for these kinds of things or you think it would take too much effort and work. You also don't want to imitate what other people are doing. Another reason might be that you haven't figured out what you like to do yet. But that's okay, everything takes time, trials and errors are normal, don't give up on the first try.

TIGER'S EYE

This one is an anti-consumerism movement. You might want to learn how to mend and sew clothes. And not just learn for yourself, but later will you spread the awareness to everyone, or even open workshops related to this.

Running after trends, constantly being bombarded by ads about shiny things that we don't actually need. Basic clothes with good quality cost too much while trendy ones don't last for more than a year. Maybe it's time for you to take matters in your own hands. Learning how to sew clothes might take time and effort, and sometimes, the cost is not small either. But you will be more free to explore styles that you like, create things that you're actually comfortable in. Not many people can proudly display their achievements like someone who makes their own clothes. This is also a great activity to relieve stress and help you practice being patient, especially if you're someone who is quick to get irritated or not very meticulous. It can soften your energy more and make it more focused.

Another way to practice is martial art or self-defense. You have lots of energy that needs to be channelled into various activities, those that keep your body busy.

You might also want to research more about the traditional spiritual and occult practices of your culture, or some traditional crafts in your family, learning about the legacy of our ancestors. There will be surprising knowledge hidden in them that you didn't notice before. You could feel resistant or disagree with many traditional teachings but don't disregard them completely. We can always learn something new from the old and the new always contain the old.

LABRADORITE

This is something that you feel out of your depth and uncomfortable doing, or something that you like but want to keep it a secret, for fear of judgement or obstruction.

I heard dancing and singing. But there's a feeling of gatekeeping. Some people consider these kinds of activities only for those who are gifted and have the resources to pursue them. These skills are put on a pedestal that stops people from approaching them in a more casual way.

Why should you learn these skills? It's to let your inner child be free and out into the open. It's also a way to learn how to control your body, discipline it so it can flow freely, it helps you connect more with your sensuality. Our body is an instrument of life, capable of many miracles, you won't know it unless you let it interact and move with the world around it.

There are various genres for you to explore, but I see traditional instruments or movements combined with modern ones.

Nurturing life such as gardening is another skill you should learn. It helps you be more in sync with nature, you will need to observe the natural cycle of life, to care for each individual and to form a bond with them. If you don't have the space or resources for gardening, maybe try to study more about nature, subjects about biology and chemistry, the ecosystem of forests, oceans, deserts etc. You will be more appreciative of the nature world.

CITRINE

Your energy right now seems to be rigid and doesn't flow properly. There's stress about your health, it's hard to relax, you don't feel comfortable in your body. Maybe you've been too busy lately, your mind is overloaded and your movement is restricted. So you need to learn something that can help you destress, loosen up the hard restrictions around you, and connect more with a softer, more gentle energy. You could call it your feminine energy, regardless of your gender. The feminine energy is within all of us, in your case, it's more hidden. Your loving, more nurturing side could be considered as weaknesses by the people around you. Or, on the contrary, those traits are expected of you forcefully, to the point that your own interpretation of them are buried deep within, you haven't had a chance to actually understand and connect with it.

I think meditation or any form of practice that can quiet the mind and put you in the flow will be good for you. Making art could be one form of it, yoga, intuitive dancing, Qigong, roller skating. Slow, mindful movements or wild, frantic ones just like a child running around, all the while maintaining your balance. You can temporarily forget about yourself, your worries, your responsibilities for a while with these kinds of activities.

Learning to play an instrument can also achieve the same kind of effects. A flute or a lyre.

You should be around children more, learn how to take care of them, how to teach them. Working, being with children can have a totally different energy and requires a different set of skills. I think you would make a great teacher because you have a very protective energy that children would feel safe around you. And in turn, they help you soften up and bring out your compassionate side more.

[solavellan--hell]

Another reason that I find appeal in the dynamic of Solavellan:

Ever since Solas took a body, he has never really had the chance to be a person.

He has been a soldier, a traitor, a leader, a symbol, a liberator, a scary story you tell to little elven children so that they don’t misbehave, the list goes on. He has always been the means to some sort of end, both for other people and for his own self (evident by the way he constantly disregards his own wants and needs). Once the mask of Fen’Harel is on, he becomes an idea. This is something he enforces himself, because this is all he has known to be, and it is the only way he knows to achieve his duty.

And then Inquisition comes around. This time, to achieve his duty, he is forced to pretend the mask does not exist. He is just some random lowly apostate who knows a lot about the Fade. And after some time, as an unintended consequence of having to conceal the persona of the Dread Wolf, he gets to see what it would be like to live without it. He has found companionship amongst spirits before, but that aligns with his nature as a spirit, not his nature as a person. As part of the Inquisition, he gets his first taste of not having to be something greater than himself, but simply exist in his body.

Of course, it’s not enough. The mask is still there and so is his responsibility to fix his mistake. He does not allow himself to forget fully. When he is with Lavellan, however, his resolve falters dangerously, which is why he ultimately has to leave her behind. But for that limited time, she is the one person that has been the closest to what he would have been as a person, simply existing in the context of himself.

Lavellan relies on him, but doesn’t push him or use him. She lets him help as much as he is willing. She gives him agency over his position. She is the first person that he lets close to him who does so. Even in their love life, she makes her feelings known, but lets him make the final decision. She kisses him, and immediately pulls away so that he can retract if he wishes. She asks him not to go by gently holding his arm. She tells him she is willing to give their relationship a try, and lets him take his time. She is firm with her love for him, but never holds him down.

The only exception to this, in my opinion, is Felassan. Though Felassan views Solas as friend first and leader second, he ultimately tells Solas that he has to keep up the mask of the Dread Wolf if he intends to be victorious, as we read in this codex entry.

This is paralleled by Lavellan telling Rook that the world may know him as the Dread Wolf, but she knows him as her heart. An identity that he created as a manifestation of his love for her. She ends up being the only person (besides from Varric) that separates Fen’Harel, the idea, from Solas, the person. A flawed person, but a person nonetheless.

And this is what I imagine for them post-ending. He has a task, yes, but one he chose with his newfound sense of agency. And with Lavellan beside him, he can finally freely exist as simply a person, love and be loved as simply a person. Not an idea.

[cool-fancier]

Bitter Devotion

Karina(Yu Jimin) x Female Reader

Synopsis: When love blossoms between two women, one finds salvation while the other hides a sinister agenda. Lies unravel, hearts break, and a single betrayal threatens to destroy everything.

Word Count:2.2k

— — — — — — —

The first time you met Karina, it was as if the universe had finally decided to show you mercy. You were drowning in the suffocating world your parents had created—a world where love was measured in favors and worth was tied to success. The charity gala was one of many events you'd been forced to attend, another chance for your mother to parade you like an accessory. You'd perfected your role over the years: polite smiles, graceful nods, the right words at the right times. But inside, you felt like a hollow shell.

Karina shattered that the moment she walked into your life.

It was a fleeting interaction at first. She'd introduced herself with an easy confidence, her voice like silk against the din of polite chatter around you.

"You look like someone who's good at pretending to care about all this," she'd said, smirking as she tilted her head toward the ballroom full of polished guests. "But I can tell you don't."

You'd blinked at her, startled. It wasn't often someone saw through you so quickly.

"And you're different?" you asked, your voice teasing but cautious.

"Completely," she said without missing a beat, her eyes locking onto yours. "I'm here for the wine and maybe one interesting conversation. Looks like I just found it."

It was bold, unexpected, and utterly disarming. For the first time in years, you felt the weight on your chest lighten, if only slightly. That night, you laughed more than you had in years. Karina's humor was sharp but never cruel, her insights revealing a depth that left you wanting more.

And more you got.

— — — — —

Karina became a fixture in your life almost overnight. She texted you after the gala, her messages casual but consistent, like she'd known you for years. Lunch dates turned into late-night phone calls, and before you knew it, you were spending nearly every waking moment with her. She was warm in a way no one else had ever been. She remembered the little things—how you liked your coffee, the books you loved but never had time to read, the way you hated the rain but loved the sound of it against the windows.

When you told her about your family—how your mother's cold ambition had shaped your entire life, how your father followed her lead with quiet detachment—Karina listened without judgment. She didn't try to fix anything or offer hollow platitudes. Instead, she gave you something you'd never had before: a safe space to just be.

"I don't know how you survived growing up like that," she'd said one evening, her voice soft as you lay tangled together on the couch. "But I'm glad you did. I'm glad I found you."

Those words had stayed with you, burrowing deep into your heart. For the first time, you felt like someone saw you—not the polished version your parents had crafted, but the raw, unguarded you. Karina made you feel special in a way you didn't think was possible.

— — — — —

The proposal came a year later, under a canopy of stars. Karina had taken you on a surprise trip to a secluded cabin, the kind of place where the world seemed to fall away. You'd spent the evening by the fire, sipping wine and sharing dreams for the future. When she knelt in front of you, holding out a delicate ring, your breath caught.

"I love you," she said, her voice trembling. "More than I ever thought I could love anyone. You've given me a reason to believe in happiness, and I want to spend the rest of my life making you feel as loved as you've made me feel."

Tears blurred your vision as you nodded, barely able to get the word "yes" past the lump in your throat. That night, you felt like you'd finally found the family you'd always longed for.

— — — — —

A year into your marriage, Karina suggested a dinner with your parents. It had been a while since the four of you sat down together, and you hoped it was a sign that things were improving. Karina had been distant lately—her once-effortless affection replaced with brief, almost obligatory gestures. You told yourself it was work stress. She'd been expanding her business, taking on larger clients and more demanding projects.

The dinner started well enough. Your mother was in high spirits, no doubt pleased to have such an impressive daughter-in-law to show off. Karina played her role perfectly, charming your parents with her wit and business acumen. Even your father, typically reserved, seemed taken with her.

"So, Karina," your mother said, swirling her wine. "What's next for you? Surely someone as ambitious as you has a grand plan."

Karina smiled, the picture of grace. "Oh, always," she said lightly. "But right now, I'm focused on building something lasting. Both in business and in life."

Your mother nodded approvingly, clearly pleased with the answer. You felt a swell of pride, convinced once again that Karina was the best thing that had ever happened to you.

— — — — —

Later, as the conversation continued, Karina excused herself to use the bathroom. It wasn't unusual, but something about the way she glanced toward your father's office before leaving the table stuck with you. You brushed it off, focusing instead on your parents' rare moment of warmth.

It wasn't until much later, after dinner had ended and your parents had retired for the night, that you noticed something strange. Passing by your father's office on the way to the kitchen, you saw the light was on. Curious, you pushed the door open slightly and froze.

Karina was at the desk, rifling through papers. She looked up sharply at the sound of the door, her expression unreadable.

"What are you doing?" you asked, your voice low and uncertain.

She straightened, closing the drawer she'd been searching. "I was just looking for a pen," she said smoothly. "Your father mentioned needing to sign something earlier, and I thought I'd save him the trouble."

It was a plausible excuse, but something about it felt off. You wanted to ask more, but the exhaustion of the evening weighed on you, and you let it slide.

— — — — —

Unbeknownst to you, Karina had found exactly what she was looking for. Among the neatly organized files were documents that confirmed her suspicions: years ago, your mother had manipulated Karina's family out of their fortune. Karina's mother had been left destitute, forced to rebuild from nothing while your mother profited from her downfall.

Karina had spent years climbing her way to the top, meticulously crafting the perfect façade to get close to your family. And now, she had everything she needed. Bank statements, contracts, correspondences—proof of your mother's deceit. With this, she could destroy your mother's empire, just as her mother's had been destroyed.

But as she stood there, holding the evidence in her hands, a pang of something unexpected twisted in her chest. She thought of you—your smile, your laugh, the way you'd looked at her when she proposed. For the first time, she hesitated.

— — — — —

Her hesitation didn't last. A week later, your mother was arrested for fraud, her assets seized, her reputation ruined. Karina had orchestrated it all, her plan unfolding flawlessly. But her triumph was hollow. No matter how much she tried to justify her actions, she couldn't shake the image of your tear-streaked face when you learned the truth.

And you would. Because secrets like this never stayed buried for long.

— — — — —

After your mother's arrest, everything changed. Karina didn't seem triumphant or even relieved—she just seemed different. The warmth she once radiated, the way she would reach for your hand without thinking, the lingering kisses that used to make you feel cherished—all of it vanished. She became distant, like a ghost of the woman who had promised to love you forever.

At first, you tried to rationalize it. The stress of the past few weeks, the pressure of running her business—surely those things were taking a toll. But as days turned into weeks, her coldness only grew. She was no longer the Karina who brought you coffee in bed or whispered sweet nothings in the quiet hours of the night. Instead, she snapped at you over small things, ignored your attempts to connect, and retreated into her office for hours at a time.

— — — — —

One evening, after another strained dinner, you tried to confront her.

"Karina, what's going on?" you asked, your voice trembling with a mixture of frustration and sadness. "You've been so... distant. Did I do something wrong?"

She didn't even look up from her phone. "You're imagining things," she said flatly, scrolling through emails.

"I'm not imagining it," you pressed, your chest tightening. "You barely talk to me anymore. You don't even look at me the same way."

Her eyes flicked to you, cold and unreadable. "Not everything is about you, you know. Maybe I'm just tired."

Her words hit like a slap, leaving you momentarily speechless. Tired? That was her excuse for the growing chasm between you?

"Karina, I love you," you said softly, desperately. "I just want to help. Please talk to me."

She sighed, setting her phone down with deliberate slowness. "Maybe I don't need help. Maybe you should stop trying to fix things that aren't broken."

The words were like daggers, and you felt tears prick your eyes. She had never spoken to you like this before, and the pain of her indifference was almost unbearable.

— — — — —

The weeks that followed were no better. Karina became colder, her dismissive tone and distant attitude leaving you reeling. She started staying out late without explanation, her phone glued to her hand whenever she was home. The intimacy you'd once shared was gone, replaced by a suffocating silence that made your heart ache.

One night, unable to sleep, you wandered into the kitchen to get some water. As you passed Karina's office, you heard her voice through the slightly ajar door. Curious, and more than a little desperate for answers, you paused.

"No, everything went according to plan," she was saying, her tone sharp and businesslike. "Her mother's assets were seized, and the old woman's in prison where she belongs."

Your blood turned to ice.

"She never saw it coming," Karina continued, her voice tinged with something cruel. "It was almost too easy. Playing the devoted wife was the perfect cover."

Your stomach dropped as you clung to the doorframe for support, your mind racing to make sense of what you were hearing. Playing the devoted wife? What was she talking about?

"Yes, I used her," Karina said, her voice colder than you'd ever heard. "She was just a means to an end. The perfect way to get close to her family."

Your heart shattered as the full weight of her words sank in. Every tender moment, every whispered promise—it had all been a lie. Tears streamed down your face as you stood frozen, unable to move or speak.

Karina's next words cut through you like a knife: "No, I don't regret it. Her family got what they deserved. And she... she was just collateral damage."

That was it. The world seemed to tilt on its axis, your breath hitching as a sob escaped your throat. Before you could stop yourself, you pushed the door open, your voice trembling with pain and fury.

"Tell me it's not true," you demanded, your tears falling freely. "Tell me I didn't just hear you say that."

Karina's head snapped up, her face a mask of shock and guilt. For a moment, she seemed at a loss for words, but the coldness quickly returned to her expression.

"You shouldn't eavesdrop," she said, her voice devoid of emotion.

Her dismissiveness made something inside you snap. "Eavesdrop?" you repeated, your voice rising. "Karina, you used me! You lied to me, to my face! Was any of it real? Any of it at all?"

For a brief moment, you saw something flicker in her eyes—regret, sorrow, maybe even love. But it was gone as quickly as it came, replaced by the icy mask you'd come to dread.

"It doesn't matter," she said quietly. "What's done is done."

You stared at her, your chest heaving as the weight of her betrayal crushed you. "You promised me forever," you whispered, your voice breaking. "I loved you. I trusted you. And you used me like I was nothing."

Karina looked away, her jaw tightening. "You were never nothing," she said, almost too softly to hear.

But it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

— — — — —

You turned and stumbled out of the room, your vision blurred by tears. Karina didn't follow you, didn't call your name. You made it to your bedroom before collapsing onto the floor, your sobs echoing in the empty space.

In the silence that followed, one thought consumed you: Was this love ever real, or had it always been a beautifully crafted lie?

And in her office, Karina sat alone, her phone still in her hand, staring at the door you'd just walked through. For the first time in her life, she felt the weight of her choices—but pride kept her rooted in place. Even if she wanted to chase after you, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Not yet.

[illogicallylogicalthoughts]

"But what about-" See above.

"But what if-" Aye, that as well.

"Okay, but-" You're not getting me.

It doesn't matter if it's obscene fetish with a grocery list's worth of squick warnings hacksawed onto it. It doesn't matter if it's so so so so incredibly niche that maybe one in 1.3 million people MIGHT have a CHANCE to get it. It doesn't matter if it's problematic, poorly written, objectively horrible, good, bad, Oscar worthy, non-oscar worthy, literally pig swill distilled into written word or whatever. I cannot even BEGIN to tell you just how much it literally absolutely does not fucking matter.

You have the ability to write. Contained within this ability is the ability to think, do, say, want, need, see, and experience ANYTHING, EVER, WHENEVER, HOWEVER, WHYEVER.

Do you want to write a story about some guy reincarnating as Jesus Christ in space and going back in time to punch god in the face? Sure, go for it. Run with it, even. Get even more obscene with it. Throw Buddha in there somewhere.

Want to write something so honestly revolting to even glance at that I can't provide examples on pain of a slow death at the hands of an angry mob? Go right on ahead. The only people judging here are the people that aren't reading it, and if they still read it to judge, well, that says something more about them than it does you.

Dost thou wish-eh to-eth write-eth a story-eth where it's just a fish flopping around on the ground for three pages and dying in needlessly graphic detail? Shit, man, sure thing, absolutely. Evocative piscine agony for three pages and change in a row sounds right up somebody's alley somewhere.

It doesn't matter.

Write.

Please. For the love of God. Put yourself out there. Make something. Let the walls down. Write. Create. Exist. Take up space. I'm begging you.

Judging voices only have so much power as you're willing to give them. Write what you want to write why you want to write it how you want to write it when you want to write it for your own bloody reasons and justify yourself to nobody, ever.

Write.

That is all.

If u want to write a story about a character that’s just you but hotter with a dark twisted backstory and magical powers and a pet falcon or something, I think u should just go ahead and do that. Who’s gonna stop you? The government?? Fuck the police.

[beloveds-embrace]

(even more designationless!reader…)

The idea had clung to you like a ghost, silent and persistent. A whisper of possibility, a gnawing what if that refused to let go, lurking in the quiet spaces between your thoughts.

It started as an offhanded remark- just a passing suggestion from an Omega medic flipping through your file, his frown deepening at the blank space where a designation should be. He’d leaned in closer, like he was sharing a deep secret even though you’d heard of it before.

“You know, there’s a new procedure. A way to synthesize a scent, balance your hormones. Might help you fit in better.”

At the time, you’d laughed it off, a dry, hollow sound. You were fine. You had learned to live without instincts, without scent cues. You had a pack now- wasn’t that such a wonderful thought? You, of all people, with a pack- and they never made you feel lesser for it.

But still…

Still, you would never stop noticing the way strangers hesitated when they got too close, noses twitching as they tried to find something that wasn’t there. The way some looked at you like you were an anomaly, a hollow space where something vital should be.

The pack never made you feel wrong. But the rest of the world did before and after them.

So, you started actually looking into it. Quietly; and what you found was terrifying.

The procedure wasn’t just some simple injection or pill, wasn’t like the time you got yourself a pheromone perfume. It was invasive- gene therapy, hormone treatments, scent gland augmentation. Synthetic pheromones would be forced into your system, rewriting the very foundation of your body’s chemistry. The risks of rejection and infections were high. The list of potential side effects was even higher- neurological damage, sensory overload, organ stress. Death.

It wasn’t just expensive. It wasn’t just painful. It was dangerous.

And yet, the thought had taken a root far too deep to be simply pulled out.

What would it be like to walk into a room and be known? To have a scent that soothed your pack, something that would mark them the way they marked you with touches and borrowed clothes and lingering words? The pheromone perfume had been temporary, but this- it could be permanent. A cure.

It took weeks before you built up the courage to bring it up to your pack; weeks of staring at catalogues and brochures, google searches all on the costs, the risks, the very, very few who had tried it.

Sitting in the nest one evening, curled between them, you hesitated before you gathered enough courage and spoke. “I found a way to get a scent.”

The reaction was immediate, though you weren’t surprised. They’ve likely heard of the procedure before.

Johnny turned his head sharply from where he had been sprawled beside you, brow furrowing. Kyle, who had been playing absently with your fingers, froze. John, seated at the edge of the nest with a book in his lap, went still. And Simon- Simon growled. A low, rumbling thing that vibrated through your ribs, curling up inside your chest like a warning.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Your throat went dry. “You know about that procedure, right?” your words were careful, hesitant. “It’s… expensive. But it can create a scent for me. A real one.”

Silence. Then-

“No.”

John’s voice was sharp, absolute. Not angry, not yet. But firm in a way that brooked no argument. A command all on its own.

Your stomach twisted, and a deep frown etched itself onto your face. “I just thought-”

“No,” Simon repeated, harsher this time, sitting up straight. His eyes burned into yours, dark and furious. “Who the fuck put that idea in your head?”

You faltered, the hesitant hope in your chest slowly fanning out. “It’s not- I wasn’t—”

“You dinnae need fixing, hen.”

“It’s not about fixing,” you argued, pulse quickening. Why weren’t they giving you a chance to explain? “It’s about- I don’t know, being normal? Being able to-”

“You are normal,” Kyle interrupted, his voice thick, pain threaded around each word. “Christ, love, what made you think you weren’t?”

Frustration bubbled up, clogging your thoughts. “You don’t get it,” you snapped, and the words poured out, raw and aching. “None of you do. You’ve never had to live without it. Never had to wonder if you belonged because you don’t have the one thing that ties you to everyone else!”

John’s exhale was sharp, scrubbing a hand over his face and beard. He looked at you- really looked at you, and his face tensed even further. “And you think putting yourself through hell to force a scent into your system is the answer?”

You hesitated, exposed under their scrutiny, laid bare even in spite of the layers you were wearing.

“You’d risk your life for this?”

“People go through hormone therapy all the time-”

“Not like this,” Kyle shook his head, immediately cutting that line of thought off. “This isn’t just hormone theraph. This is gene-altering shit. You read the side effects, love? The risks?”

You had. And now, under their gazes, the weight of it pressed heavy on your chest.

Ghost shifted closer, holding your arm, face tight. “You’re not doing this.”

“You can’t just tell me what I can and can’t do with my own body!”

Price’s jaw tightened, eyes dark with something unreadable, something heavy. When he finally spoke, it was rough, edged with the kind of steel that only came from deep, unwavering conviction.

“You’re right.”

For a second, your breath caught, because you hadn’t expected him to say that. Did you-?

“We can’t tell you what to do with your body,” he continued, low but firm. “But we can stop you from hurting yourself. I will not allow you to go through that damn procedure.”

The words hit like a fist to the gut.

Simon exhaled sharply, tilting his head like he couldn’t believe you had even considered it. “You’d put yourself through that- all that danger, all that risk- just to what? Smell a little different?”

You swallowed, and then, after a heavy moment, nodded.

Kyle leaned in, wrapping himself around you, protective. “You,” he hissed. “You think some synthetic, lab-made scent could ever be worth you getting hurt?”

Your throat felt tight, and you looked away, only for Johnny to let out a rough, disbelieving laugh. “Jesus, lass. You think we’d ever want some artificial shite over you?”

You opened your mouth, but no words came. “I just thought… maybe it would make things easier.” You admitted eventually, voice small and weak, avoiding their eyes. You’d thought… it might even make your family care.

Gaz inhaled sharply, like your words had hurt. “Easier for who?”

The question left you hollow, because you knew the answer.

Not for them.

Never for them.

John sighed, rubbing his temples before reaching out, cupping your cheek with one calloused hand and forcing you to look at him. “Love,” he murmured, and his voice had softened now, rough edges worn down to something gentler, something aching. “We don’t need you to smell like us to know you’re ours. We don’t need a scent to claim you, or to carry your scent.” His thumb brushed against your cheek, touch warm. “You’re already part of this pack.”

The weight of his words settled deep in your chest, curling around your ribs, something painful and good all at once.

For so long, you had felt other. Like something was missing. But here, surrounded by them, their warmth pressing into you, their hands grounding you-

You could almost convince yourself you were whole.

Simon let out a slow breath and reached for you, pulling you into his lap with a kind of desperate, hungry care, his arms curling around you like he could somehow shield you from your own thoughts. Johnny pressed against your side, warm and solid, his grip firm where he held onto your wrist. Kyle leaned in, his forehead pressing against your shoulder, and Price wrapped an arm around all of you, anchoring you to them.

And you let yourself believe them.

Omegaverse masterlist

[seosracha]

⸻ SAINT MATTHEW'S ACADEMY II

SYNOPSIS ⸻ heeseung feels helpless as you continue to deny him love, and give it to the one person he can't come to accept- park sunghoon.

PAIRING ⸻ sunghoon x fem!reader x heeseung

GENRE ⸻ rich kids au, smut, fluff, angst

TAGS ⸻ love triangle, cursing, foul language, underage drinking, degrading names, smoking, partying, gaslighting, religious themes, obsessive behavior/thoughts, unrequited love, fighting (verbally), mention of physical abuse and blood, desperate sunghoon :D, making out, penetration, unprotected sex,

WORDCOUNT ⸻ 15.2k

PART ONE

MDNI. This is a work is meant for entertainment purposes only. References to products and brands are imaginary and not meant to deprecate their image.

You close your eyes, repeating the words, painting the scene and your back in that room. Those words spoken with so much collapsed indifference by a person that didn’t care to see or talk to you again. There was no point in burdening your memory with the idea of him, the idea of a Lee Heeseung that in this universe, didn’t quite exist. 

Yes- he carried his father’s surname, his name Heeseung- meaning bright and successful. Those were the things that would never change, the things he could never replace or hide. He would always and forever be remembered as Lee Heeseung, son of the hotel giants, and brother of Lee Haejun, the family heir. 

For all his miserable and lonely life he struggled to create a name for himself. For all the 19 years he managed to wrestle with life, the fate stayed the same. He wanted his parents to think of him in any way, even if it was bad, even if it meant he’d be a failure in their eyes. He craved to be something more, something beyond the body he was born in. 

Winter wasn’t his favourite season. He hated wearing a puffer jacket, long socks and heavy boots. He hated the additional weight of all these things with the already pre existing heaviness of his being itself.  

You liked winter- he knew that. He knew how happy it made you to catch a snowflake that’d melt away within seconds of meeting your warm hand. Heeseung also knew he probably ruined it for you on that night- 22 of December, the day that welcomed winter. 

He hasn’t really spoken to his friends since that night- his phone’s been on silent mode and his house, abandoned by him for now. Usually he’d enjoy this, maybe even have a friend join him, but this winter break, the vacation felt insufferable. 

Warm Sydney, Australia, the colour of the inside of his hand almost as light and soft as the skin of his neck and the underside of his forearms, which were rarely exposed to the sun. He remembers how 2 years ago, just a month or two later he was here with Sunghoon, lounging around and sleeping off the scorching heat until one of them finally suggested they should go to the rocks to swim. 

Well this year, he couldn’t quite find himself leaving the white sheets. Heeseung had left so many things unsolved back home, and he feared that by the time he’s back- it’d be too late. He’d leave the air conditioner blasting all day and night, his thoughts running off to all the things he did wrong. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have told you, maybe he shouldn’t have asked his friend for help, maybe he should’ve just left you alone. But how could he- it was stronger than him. 

While the summer in Australia left an unquenchable thirst for more, winter in his hometown was as quiet as ever. 

The inexplicable  animosity hung heavy in the air as you, and everyone else went about their life, trying to forget yesterday, and live with the thought of tomorrow. 

You spent most of your days alone. Sometimes, Jake would drop by. Or Jay. It depended on who made an excuse that day. 

In the midst of a fiery conflict, you found comfort in them. The same people who encouraged behaviour that led you here. It was all broken anyway, so was there really a point in finding the lesser evil? 

Neither of them have spoken to the two boys. Maybe they didn’t want to take sides or maybe, just maybe all of them were waiting for the right moment to end this. This wasn’t friendship, not in the slightest. It was jealousy and competition. 

Trying not to think about it came out to be much easier. Only the countless texts reminded you. The unanswered calls, disconnected lines and unspoken words. 

No more words, you said no more words after his confession. You stayed silent, and that pain flooded you today. The silence stayed with you. Every night you’d spend on a phone call with him, laughing because no matter how hard you begged him, he wouldn’t hang up first, was now filled with heavy breaths and drowning darkness. 

Sunghoon hadn’t gone anywhere this winter. He was supposed to- the first class tickets to Sri Lanka already booked by his mother. When she knocked on his door, 12 hours before they were supposed to leave, he told her he'd fallen ill. Very ill. 

Before Heeseung blocked his number, he sent him a short message. Sunghoon sat in a cold corner on the white bathroom tiles, reading the message. It was enough to let him know that it was over. And even though the unyielding pain in his stomach grew stronger, a small smile twitched at the corner of his bloody lips. He tried to reply, but the text went green. 

When Heeseung first asked him for that favour, he assumed it was just another sick way for him to assert his dominance over you. Another way to make sure you knew Heeseung created what you are today, and no matter what, you’ll always have a piece of him. Sunghoon never thought the boy would tell you the truth in the end. 

Two days before New Years Eve, Jake texted you. 

“Is your brother home?” 

He also attached a photo, indicating that he was already in the area. 

“No” 

The simple reply quickly sent through, and without even checking for another response you flip the phone over. 

Each sound, each notification, you hoped it was from one of them. Heeseung never turned off his location sharing, so you already knew he wasn't around. Sunghoon, well, you had no idea. 

You didn't really know anything about him. How he went about his day, before and after school or on vacation or just on a simple Saturday. You didn't know his favorite color, his favorite food or his favorite song. 

It was never easy to talk to him- he didn't share much or make space for new people in his life. You rarely saw him enjoy things or even crack a smile at the jokes his friends made. That’s exactly what made it hard to figure out if he really meant the things he said and did. 

Your doorbell rings. You turn your phone and see another message from Jake, indicating he’s here. It didn't take him longer than 5 minutes to get here. 

“Hey” you scratch the back of your head, welcoming him in. He’s not awkward in the slightest, kissing your cheek as he enters. 

Jake hasn't been the same since. You can’t quite remember if he’s always been like this or did his friendship with the boys actually influence him that badly. 

Something you always noticed about Jake is how easily influenced he really was. It took one word, one word and he’d be at Heeseung’s feet just waiting to do whatever the boy wanted. He tried so hard to impress them, he fell through with everything in his life- his grades faltered, his relationship with his parents started to rot, and his self respect declined with every passing day. He ruined himself for them. 

Jay wasn’t like that. He never really listened to Heeseung in the first place. And Heeseung realized that pretty quickly. They weren’t particularly close either. Jay had legions of friends outside of school. He didn’t need Heeseung, Sunghoon or Jake but in a way, they needed him. He stuck around because loneliness wasn’t a good look on him, and his peers at school, well, they weren’t quite fond of him. 

“I brought wine” he announces and hands you the bottle of red wine that’s gotten quite cold by now. 

“You know I don’t drink” you look away from the label, now focusing on the boy who’s fixing his hair in the mirror. He doesn’t seem to register what you said as a piece of his brown hair keeps falling onto his forehead. 

He wiggles out of his leather jacket, hanging it on the clothing rack before taking the wine back into his hands “It’s only 12%. You won’t feel it” he ultimately replies. 

He wanders off into the kitchen while you sit down on the grey couch. Jake doesn’t really ask, he never does. It doesn’t bother you, not as much as it used to at least. He searches your cabinets looking for wine glasses which after a short moment, can’t be found in any of them. He settles down for something less extravagant. 

You wouldn’t even dare inviting any of them just a couple months back. You were embarrassed, their houses the size of your whole street. A lot of things have changed since then. 

"Jungwon is hosting for New Years” he started, handing the glass to you. He sat down, his body facing you “Do you want to come?” 

Yang Jungwon was in your grade. His father was a software engineer who developed his own app but also helped countless companies start theirs. Jungwon was the one who helped Jay start his long abandoned website. He always watched his father doing big things, he wanted that too. His mother was a divorce attorney, specializing in family law, charging around $500  per hour. She was the go-to of every miserable wife and all the tired husbands. Jungwon was a pretty normal boy- he grew up with two loving parents that got lucky enough in life to spoil him from the moment he was born. 

“Who else is coming?” you ask, and he shrugs, gulping down almost half  of his glass. 

You look down at yours, uninterested. But before he manages to reply, you copy his action. It doesn't taste good. 

“Probably the same people as always” he leans his head on his hand looking over at you “But from the people you’ll know, uh, Niki and Wonyoung are going to be there for sure. Sunoo probably has nothing better to do and Jay already told me he’s coming” Jake added after a moment and you nodded understandingly. 

“Niki and Wonyoung, huh?” you laugh mockingly, downing the other half of your drink. You wonder how in the world this could be a pleasure to middle aged women “Sunoo told me she went over to Sunghoon’s house two days ago” 

“Jealous?” Jake laughs and you raise your eyebrows. 

“No” he repeats your action and you can tell that he doesn't really buy it. Neither do you. “I’m not jealous, Jake. They can do whatever they want” 

His lips turn into a downwards smile “Sure, sure” he nods, and you playfully kick his leg. He winces at the action in a joking manner, before continuing “Heeseung and Sunghoon might be there too. So if you don't feel comfortable with that, you don't have to go. But me and Jay want you to be there” his tone softens. 

How would it end up this time? Which one of them would say something this time? Do something this time? Or would they ignore you, just like they are now. 

All you wanted was an answer. Nothing more, nothing less. You could even go by without a ‘sorry’. 

“I don’t care. I’d have to face them at school anyways” you answer with a straight smile. 

“Didn’t you hear?” he asks, painting your face with confusion at the statement. You shake your head, and he sits up straight “Karina’s parents are close with Heeseung’s, and she’s been saying some about him changing school’s mid February” 

You are even more confused now. It didn’t make sense. Where would he go? It’s probably just a rumor. 

“But you guys are graduating this year. That can’t be right” he shrugs, just as curious and confused as you. 

“Yeah, I doubt it” you nod with a small sigh, looking outside the window. 

The sun set so much quicker in winter. You barely got to enjoy the day before darkness settled. It  was setting pink today. 

“I’ll go with you guys. On New Years. Just, pick me up if you can” you say and he nods with a small smile. 

______

On that same day, Heeseung landed back in town. His father  asked him to come back in time for the New Years event he was hosting, once again. 

“What a fabulous suit, truly!” a middle aged woman comments, amused. She has a wide, bright smile on her face as she eyes Haejun “Let me guess, Canali?” she coos, a smirk creeping at the corner of her lips. 

Heeseung’s brother chuckles, the forced elegance lacing his  fake smile “Both the suit and overcoat. It’s nothing special though” he smiles, and soothes down the cashmere mantle. 

Lee Haejun runs a hand through his dark, silky hair, his posture relaxed in a ‘cool’ way.

Heeseung thinks it’s pretty humorous, the way Haejun is flirting with a 40 year old woman, whose hair is visibly turning gray. Her husband is probably somewhere in this crowd, trying to get closer to his father, just like all the other men who were lucky enough to even be invited. 

The lady has been ogling his brother for the past 5 minutes, not even noticing Heeseung who stood right next to him. 

He scoffs. 

“Oh, Heeseung. I didn’t notice you” she smiles faintly, but her eyes don’t even linger on him for a second longer, already back in conversation with Haejun “Oh and this scarf! Haejun, you have such phenomenal taste!” she celebrates him again, and he just chuckles at her excitement. 

Heeseung doesn't feel like standing there, looking like a fucking idiot that’s just waiting to get complimented on his Saint Laurent overcoat that quite frankly, was more expensive than Haejun’s. 

He doesn’t feel like being here at all. 

He thinks about everything; how these annual New Year’s dinners have ruined the holiday for him all together, how the man at the table in front of him has a giant bald spot on his head, how the hardbody on his right has pretty fuckable tits even though she’s probably in her mid 40s, how his mother is obviously having an affair with the hotels revenue manager, and most importantly, about you. 

He hasn’t felt anything since that unlucky Sunday night. It was suffocating, to be so conscious of his own decisions. But just like he’d been a coward that time, he still was too afraid to reach out and apologize. 

Maybe soon enough he’d find himself at your front porch, knocking on the door softly, a nice gift in hand, the smile you adore plastered all over his condescending face. 

That’s how it usually worked in his life; even the worst of heartbreaks and fights could be resolved with a pretty bag, new sports car or nice jewelry. That’d work on you too, wouldn’t it? He’d ask one of the maids that looked after his home to pick out something she’d like to recieve, and you’d probably be satisfied with that, maybe even suck him off later. 

Seeing you with Sunghoon enlightened something deep in his soul, something he’d never admit to himself. Heeseung didn't know if it was Sunghoon he was jealous of or you. 

Sunghoon had experienced love in many forms throughout his life. A gentle  and mannerly boy cherished by the women in his life. His kind, youthful energy seemed effortless—something completely out of reach for someone as weathered and unsteady as Lee Heeseung.

You loved him, he already knew that much. So why was it so hard for him to give that back to you, show you that he feels the same? 

He was such a selfish person-he didn't want to see you surviving on your own, or not needing him just as much as he needs you.  

Heeseung understood he could never give you the love you deserved. Yet, the idea of being replaced by Sunghoon was something he refused to accept. 

His eyes wander across the dimly lit space, desperately looking for someone who could give him a reason to leave his table. But he couldn’t stand any of them. He hated their fake pleasantries, their overblown gestures, and the emptiness behind their eyes.

They weren’t here to celebrate the passing year, spread joy and excitement for the coming days. 

All these lost, desperate people were here, hoping, praying to God that maybe this is the day his father notices them, gives them a chance to become as wealthy and glorious as him. 

“I was thinking about Oxford, possibly this upcoming September” he picks up on Haejun’s words and if not for the people and photographers that seemed to be on every possible side, he would’ve punched the shit out of his brother. 

Oxford, Harvard, Princeton, who gave a fuck? 

He sighs again but this time neither Haejun or the lady in front of him pick up on his mannerisms. 

He feels a sudden tap on his shoulder, the feeling making him jump back a bit.He groans under his breath, the sound inaudible for the one behind him, and turns around slowly. 

He didn't expect to see Park Sunghoon here. 

… 

“They don’t have a nice bathroom to do coke in” Heeseung shrugs, nibbling at his bottom lip as Sunghoon breathes out a laugh at his inquiry. 

He looks around the tiled, black bathroom, which is surprisingly empty. The light above the sink flickers in a weird way, and Heeseung wonders if it’s supposed to be like that. 

“We don’t do that anymore” Sunghoon mutters, leaning against the cold, slippery surface of the wall, his head slightly slumped. 

He looks up at Heeseung, his reflection much more familiar in the mirror. They are much closer than he thinks, the same worn out expression all over their faces.  

“Yeah… Guess those days are over” he smiles weakly, although the growing pit in his stomach makes him feel uneasy. 

He’s avoiding the topic, throwing random words in the air as his heart speeds up. Sunghoon’s avoiding it too. The words linger on their tongues but it feels like they're stuck. He can’t stomach starting a serious topic with his friend who's never been there for him in an emotional way. 

“I remember that party so vividly” Heeseung chuckles lightly, watching Sunghoon intently through the mirror. The boy is avoiding eye contact. 

“When Jay took a line and we thought we’d lost him, huh? I remember, yeah” he forces a smile although the memory is definitely not a sweet one.

Heeseung chuckles softly, his thoughts drifting to when they were actually good friends to each other. It wasn’t even that long ago, but so much has happened since that Heeseung almost forgot those times.  

He felt it with you again. In a way you brought that comfort back to him with your soft spoken voice and tender smile. But with you, he was on the brink of inescapable change. Heeseung knew that everyday he was teetering closer to the end. 

He looks back up at Sunghoon, and although his vision is slightly blurred, he notices that the wounds are completely healed now. The only tangible evidence of that night is now gone. 

“Did it leave a scar?” he asks, his voice cracking. He clears his throat, turning to face Sunghoon, who touches the corner of his lip softly. 

He shakes his head “No”. His tone is stony. He suddenly reminds himself to garbage the white button up in his wardrobe. 

“That’s good” Heeseung hums and the silence overcomes them again. It’s uncomfortable and the awkwardness between them bears so much unfamiliarity. It’s such a foreign experience. 

The tension grows thicker as Sunghoon speaks up “You know we can’t avoid it, right?” 

Heeseung feels a bead of sweat trickle down his spine as he ponders the suggestion. What could he possibly say to make it better, to make it disappear? He nods and meets Sunghoon’s unrelenting expression. 

“I don’t really think we could ever be friends again” Sunghoon says, his lip twitching slightly as the words finally roll off his tongue, the admission much more painful than he thought it’d be “Not when we both want the same thing” 

“What?” The words sink into his bones, his flesh shivering as he searches for at least an ounce of discomfort on Sunghoon’s face. 

“No matter what you told me that night, no matter how much you begged me to tell her because you didn't want to know how she’ll react, I know you feel it too. You said you didn't care, but you do, Heeseung. I care too” he explains, his voice stable. It’s almost as if he’s rehearsed this. 

It came to him during that long awaited shower. As the water came over him, so did the realization. 

“If you like it or not, I will keep on trying even if it doesn't work out. But either way, I think this is where it ends between us. I don’t want to be stuck on the idea that it could ever be the same” the air felt heavier with the tension that separated them. 

The weight of his words hung heavy in the air. Heeseung never thought it’d come to this. 

“You like her, right? It wasn't something to make her feel better..?” he asked, glossing over the fact that this exact spot set the end of their friendship. 

Glossing over the fact that the relationship between you and him complicated his whole life. Yet a part of him still yearned for you. 

“I’m not like you, Heeseung. I don’t tell girls I like them to make them feel better” he chuckled lowly as Heeseung's expression darkened, taking offense to his words. 

Heeseung scoffed, not quite enjoying the cutting reminder of his bad habits. 

“Do as you please, I don’t give a fuck. But I also don’t plan on making it easy for you. I don't give up what’s mine just like that” Heeseung’s words carry a playful edge, but there’s an undercurrent of expectation, a reminder of the shared history and intimacy. 

Sunghoon turns his head to the side, a stubby chuckle slipping past his parted lips. His gaze falls onto Heeseung after a moment, the boy leaning against the counter with an indifferent expression. 

“What, do you think she forgot? You think a couple racks can erase what you did? Bet you're not the one she calls everyday” a smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, as he looks at Heeseung’s changing face. 

“You think that just because I wasn't here I don’t know what goes on? She couldn't give two fucks about you. You don’t intimidate me, Sunghoon” he retorts, his eyes dark as he pushes himself off the sink and shortens the distance between him and Sunghoon “Couldn’t even get past her underwear, fucking pussy” he whispers. 

He nudges Sunghoon’s shoulder during his exit, scoffing angrily as he slams the door shut, leaving his once best-friend alone with the afterthought of his words. 

Sunghoon doesn't regret it. He feels good. He feels the weight drop from his heart, his blood flowing calmly as his eyebrows don’t furrow in annoyance anymore. 

He watches the door for a moment before turning to the mirror, adjusting his jacket and hair, smiling as he takes in his reflection. 

_____ 

On New Year's Eve a car parks in your driveway. Your brother wasn’t home, and by the looks of it, he wasn't going to be any time soon. 

You don’t really remember the last time you sat down for a meal with Eunseok. You couldn't blame him though. Your parents always repeated that saving another human's life will always be more important than spending time with family. Your brother would always stay your brother even if you started to forget the sound of his voice. 

Jay enters your house first. You can notice Jake sinking his head into the trunk, looking for something. 

The last time Jay was here his hair was still blond. He seems to have gotten a new haircut and dyed it back to black. He looked much softer now. 

“Back to black?” you smile and reach out to grab his coat. It feels illegal to hold and hang his black Prada corduroy jacket. It looked so out of place next to your own coats that were all bought at basic chain stores at the mall. 

“You like it?” he asks, quickly turning his head to check on Jake. Jay’s gaze falls back onto you, a soft glimmer in his eyes. 

He changed. He wasn't the same misogynistic narcissist that you were initially introduced to. He became much kinder- a person you actually found yourself getting along with. 

Jay came home extremely drunk on the 22nd of December. Screw walking a straight line when the boy couldn't even walk at all. Just like it had been unlucky for his friends, he too was met with his demise as his father sat in the living room with a girl Jay didn't recognize. 

Probably his new girlfriend. 

He was furious. He went through Jay’s phone that night- every photo of his son with girls in more or less intimate situations, every message between Jay and his dealers, every single bank transaction at the liquor store. He saw it all that night. 

One word too much on Jay’s behalf, and suddenly, there’s a stinging pain on his left cheek. And before he can react, his father slaps him again. And again, harder than the last. 

He saw himself in his son for the first time. He realized what he had done to his own, precious child. The look in his eyes, pure fear and disgust. They weren't much different after all. 

“Yeah, it’s nice. You look good” you nod with a straight smile, and he looks a bit embarrassed at the compliment. 

Jake finally runs into the home, a smile on his face. Without saying a word, you nod your head towards the now closed trunk. 

“We thought the bottles shattered” he explained and you looked over at Jay, confused. 

“I thought you were done with drinking” you asked, and he grinned sheepishly. 

“Today is the last time, I promise. New year, new me, let’s say” 

They walked around your home, visiting every room, every bathroom, checking every picture. You couldn't care less, focusing on getting yourself ready. 

“You used to be emo?” Jake laughs, walking back to your room. You roll your eyes at him, knowing exactly what picture he was talking about. 

“Your brother is really hot,” Jay says, leaning his hands against the backrest of your chair. He looks at himself and you through the mirror “You look hot too” he adds with a sly smirk. 

Your only reply is a smile, not being the best at receiving compliments. His eyes stay on you for a little longer than they should. 

“Jungwon just texted me,” Jake announces, his body turning in your fresh sheets. His dirty shoes have left marks on the white fabric, but he doesn't seem to notice. “Heeseung just arrived. He’s with fuckass Seora” he laughs along with Jay, while you try to process his statement.

It didn’t take him long to find your replacement. You remember the girl, having been paired up with her for a science project at the beginning of the semester. She was so beautiful. 

“That fucking nerd? What’s wrong with him” Jay comments, and you realize how you too were once like Seora. Heeseung hasn't changed, not at all. 

Jake’s phone rings, his eyes darting to the screen. He excuses himself, the call seemingly important as he leaves the room swiftly. 

You are left alone with Jay who mindlessly scrolls through his Instagram homepage, liking and commenting on his friends posts. 

“Can you help me?” you ask, and his reaction to your voice is almost immediate. He sets his phone aside, his full attention once again falling onto you. A hint of concern flashes over his eyes as your expression seems troubled. 

“Mhm?” he hums, walking over to your figure. 

“Can you zip this up for me?” you ask, turning around. 

He stays silent for a moment, before brushing his fingers against the bare skin of your back, grasping at the slippery zipper. He carefully brings the fabric together, taking care not to pull too tight or snag the delicate material. 

He steps back, looking at you, smiling warmly “There” 

Whenever his sister would ask him, he’d flip her off and tell her to leave his room. 

Jay’s eyes take in your figure, the way he’s never really gotten to see your nice body under all the baggy clothes you’d wear. It feels wrong to think about you like this, but it’s not like this is the first time either. 

He may have changed, even in the slightest, but there was always that one person who was too late. 

…

Shot after shot of vodka find themselves appearing in your hand as you down each one with a twisted expression. The people around you seem much more cheerful than you, and you wonder how long it’ll take for this alcohol to finally start doing its thing. 

You turn to Jake, who’s been gripping your hand tightly, at least that’s what you thought. Instead of a smiley Jake, it’s Kim Sunoo who has been apparently keeping you safe. That would be all for ‘we want you to be there’. 

“Going already?” Sunoo perks up, loosening his grip on you as he sees you trying to squeeze through the crowd. 

“I just need some fresh air” you offer him a small smile “I’ll be back” 

It’s 10:37. Only an hour and 23 minutes until midnight. By that time, half the guests won’t even be awake to witness it. You wonder what fireworks look like on this side of town. 

Jungwon’s house isn’t that hard to navigate. It was big, but you imagined bigger. It’s mid-sized, maybe. You note how his parents have good taste- the mediterranean estate very much to your liking. 

You find yourself on one of his acacia armchairs in the backyard terrace. Most people are inside. It  wasn’t the warmest day.   

There’s no wind today, not even snow. The temperature hasn't dropped below zero celsius this season. You really wanted the snow to fall soon. 

You can tell from the corner of your eye that someone has accompanied you on the chair next to yours. You assume it’s someone just as tired as you, someone who's just counting down the minutes  until midnight so they can get out of here. 

Maybe it’s Jake. But you swore you saw him hitting up some girls on your way out. 

“Want one?” you almost don’t recognize the voice. It’s been so long. 

The person extends a pack of cigarettes in your direction, and that’s when you decide to face them. 

You haven't spoken to Nishimura Riki in a long time. He doesn't even look the same. But it’s only been 4 months? 

“I don’t smoke” you reply, and he nods, lighting the stick in his mouth, protecting the flame with the palm of his hand. 

He hisses, exhaling the smoke. It blows in your direction, and you scrunch your nose at the smell. 

“Where’s your sweet boy, Heeseung?” he asks, his tone mocking. You roll your eyes, exhaling deeply. 

He laughs at your silence, but still waits for you to respond, taking another puff. 

“We don’t talk anymore” you could lie but honestly, it seemed meaningless now. It didn't matter what you’d say, things wouldn't change. 

“Lasted the longest. Can’t say I’m not impressed” he replied with a chuckle. Only God knew how much you wanted to slap the boy next to you right now. 

“Fuck off, Niki” you groan, and he puts up his hands, laughing. He’s slightly taken aback by your candidness- he didn't meet this version of you. 

Niki remembers you as the sweet, innocent and most certainly lost girl that had no idea what she was getting herself into. Now it seemed as if Heeseung had drained all that life out of you. 

“I’m not here to make fun of you” there’s a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes as he still gauge's your reaction to his jab. 

You hum, unamused “Sure” 

He sighs, trying to hide the annoyance caused by your stubbornness. Niki throws what's left of his cigarette on the ground, crushing it with his shoe. Rick Owens, you note. 

“I know you and Wony aren’t on the best terms but she cares about you. I do to” his tone softens “I just want you to live on your own now. Don’t let him take over your life again” 

Niki follows all the patterns the stars are forming with his eyes, while you notice the sincerity in his face. Today the moon is barely visible. There was a New Moon yesterday, so tonight, not  even 3% of the orb is visible. 

“Why are you telling me this?” you ask, and he shrugs. 

The air seems to vibrate with unspoken tension. Niki stays silent for a moment, because he doesn't really know if he has an answer. 

He shouldn't care. He doesn't know you, and you don't know anything about him either. Jesus, if Wonyoung saw him here, he’d be on probation until February. But he saw this happen countless times and every single one stung just as bad. 

“I don’t know. I guess I wanted you to know” he finally answers, a genuine glimmer in his eyes as they fall on yours for just a second. 

You can’t muster up a smile. It’d be too forced anyway. You hope that the nod is enough for him to understand that you do in fact appreciate his words. 

He doesn't say anything and neither do you. It’s mostly noiseless, apart from the faintest melody that flows through the cracks in the window. The only people out here with you are either smoking themselves or talking to someone on the phone. 

You hadn't really told anyone what happened. Of course, you could probably tell Niki, he wouldn't forward it to Wonyoung or anyone else. You could call the boy many names, some better than others, but you knew you couldn't call him untrustworthy. He always kept his word, no matter what. 

But you bite back your tongue. 

“Nice chat, huh? Can I steal her for a moment?” 

Lee Heeseung. 

You’d be lying if you said you didn't want to see him tonight. You weren't wondering if you’d see him, rather when and how. He couldn't run away from talking to you, and well, it appears that he didn't want to anyway.  

With what feeling would you look back on this moment? With sadness? With shame? Indifference, you hoped. 

Would you regret it? Because maybe some things are better left unsolved, right? Sometimes it’s okay to not have an answer. You’ve already learned that firsthand. 

It was too late, Niki already letting the older boy replace him on the armchair, his face filled with remorse, maybe even guilt as he walked back into the house. He only hoped that you were smarter this time. 

You turned your gaze away, because he was looking at you, and it obviously flustered you. He saw your expression, and even though your face twisted in annoyance, you still wanted him to look at you. 

It wasn’t him you hated, but what the two of you did. 

The secret was forever meant to stay between the two of you. And as long as that’s true, it's always casting a shadow over everything good in you. 

“How was Australia? Did you have fun?” you sounded unimpressed, and he noticed. 

Heeseung felt oddly embarrassed to be here with you. He left you with no explanation, and yet you're still asking how his vacation was. Honest or not, he feels like half the man he was before. 

“How did you know?” he asks, a glint of playfulness in his voice. 

“You still share your location with me” you stated, and he nodded. He knew. You were the only person he shared it with in the first place. 

“You check my location?” he chuckles, trying to alleviate the charged atmosphere. His attempts brought no fruit as your expression stayed the same- cold and uninterested. 

“No” he can’t figure out what to say next. It used to be so easy to talk to you. 

But you were the same when he first met you- stand-offish and unwilling. It won’t take him long to figure the right words out, he’s sure of it. 

Heeseung doesn't know why he’s trying this hard. Maybe it’s because now he knows his friend wants it just as much. In what universe did Park Sunghoon have something Heeseung didn’t? Not in this one, and the latter was continuously making sure of it. 

“Can we talk about us?” he finally speaks up after the prolonged moment of uncomfortable silence. He doesn't really know what ‘us’ was. Definitely not a relationship. He doesn't do that, never has. He just prays that you actually had something smart to say. 

“Us?” you bark back a laugh, and he leans against the beige pillow with a sigh. 

Heeseung had been willingly ignoring the messages he saw you sending. He could always disguise that as not wanting to talk about it over text. But in reality, he didn't want to talk about it at all. He just hoped that a ‘sorry’ would be enough. 

“You know what I mean. Don’t be stupid” his voice is laced with a twinge of irritation. He didn't expect it to take this long for you to break. 

“What the fuck are you even talking about, Heeseung?” you turn to face him fully now. 

His hair is no longer dark red. It’s brown, almost black. And he has a completely different haircut. It compliments his tan skin. He’s also dressed differently. You can’t quite recall seeing him like this. 

“Seriously, what do you want to talk about? It wasn’t real, not to you at least. So please, tell me what exactly it is that you want to talk about” his expression is a mix of annoyance and anger now. His jaw clenches as his eyes narrow. You surely allowed yourself to say too much, didn’t you? 

“Careful, Y/n. Watch your tone” he laughs menacingly, standing up from his seat. His hands grip the sides of your chair, as he stares down at you, his face too close for comfort. 

“Downplay what we had, and what’s still between us all you want. But you know it’s real. You might be wiser now, but you haven’t really changed. You still want it just as much” his expression darkens, a defensiveness to his voice. 

All he did was see the potential in you, the spark hidden beneath your innocent surface. He fed that fire, helped it grow until it burned through them both. Heeseung taught you to be a woman. He didn't wrong you, he helped you. 

Leaning in, he nuzzles your neck, his breath hot on your skin “So how about you quit acting all tough and just let me have you again, yeah?” 

He no longer knew how to control himself. No one did. 

When he was younger he believed in God. Even when he started at Saint Matthew’s, he considered himself religious. Maybe he liked it because it made his nights just a little less lonely, or maybe because it filled him with a sense of identity. He knew that no matter what, there’s always that one person, an otherworldly figure that will love him endlessly, have control over him. 

And when he felt himself drift away from his faith, it became a saga of bad decisions after bad decisions. Not because he stopped believing, but because there was no longer anyone to control him. 

“You must be out of your fucking mind if you think I’d do that” your lips are parted as he continues to brush his past your neck, jawline and mouth. 

“Keep talking to me like that and you’ll regret it” he whispers with a sinful grin, his fingers reaching up to caress your cheek “Let’s just forget about what happened. You know I meant what I said” 

“That you love me?” you laugh, and you can notice him bite down on the inside of his cheek. “Just leave me alone, Heeseung. Go find someone else and I’ll do the same” you try to be as calm as possible. He can’t know it’s affecting you. 

Someone else? No, that can’t be possible. You are the only one who listens to him, you are the only one that’s there for every one of his requests. He can’t just let you go like that. It wouldn't be that easy to replace you. 

“Sunghoon, right? That fucking prick, seriously?” he straightens his figure, letting out a frustrated sigh. 

“I never brought him up” you mutter, and he scoffs. 

Heeseung’s  eyes slightly narrow, while his lips press into a thin line. 

The silence that follows is heavy, filled only by the quiet chatter of other people that were out here with you. 

“Please, Y/n. You can’t do this” his tone becomes softer as a pleading look decorates his features. 

You don’t really know what else there is to say. 

His words- louder and longer, were given a physical form and longevity as if they had a life of their own now. 

It almost made you think you forgive him. 

____ 

During morning prayer you saw him again. 

He still had that lifeless look on his face, as if nothing had really changed at all. As if nothing ever happened in the first place. He was two rows in front of you, next to Niki and Sunoo. 

You wanted to catch him looking at you, to have his eyes on you. 

All the students gathered in the chapel next to the school at 7:30. Punctuality was key. Under no circumstances was tardiness allowed- those who dared to come in a minute late were not allowed to participate and got punished with after-school detention. 

Heeseung knelt down next to you. You hoped Sunghoon wouldn't see it. 

‘In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen’

He signs the cross and so do you. “I missed you” Heeseung whispers, his hand softly brushing against your thigh. 

“Don’t” you mutter back, swatting his hand away. 

One of the students was leading today's Morning Offering. 

You tried to focus on Sunghoon. Maybe his hair changed, or maybe his skin got tanner. He got a little skinnier, you note. Sunoo whispers something to him but he doesn't seem to listen. 

“Stop,” Heeseung whispers into your ear, his breath hot on your skin. You move away from him, watching how amusing this is for him. 

“What?” His presence is strong, the pull almost working involuntarily. 

‘...Or does so much bad feeling accumulate within us that we learn to mold it into a big lump of emotions, with amnesties and pardons? Or does the presence of the other, who yesterday morning was almost like an intruder to us, become more and more necessary, because it protects us from our own hell?’ 

You can’t listen, you can’t comprehend. No matter where, there's something pulling your attention. 

“Don’t look at him” Heeseung’s voice is firm, his eyes on you. He’s always watching. 

After a short reflection is spoken, a brief moment of silence follows. You close your eyes, leaning forward. 

"We pray for our community, that we may learn and grow together in love and wisdom,"  the intention is spoken, and after reciting a prayer together, the students start rising from their spots slowly. 

Sunghoon’s gaze doesn't even wander in your direction. He doesn't look at anyone, speeding out of the chapel as soon as the prayer commences. You want to go after him, but Heeseung stops you before you could even fully decide on it. 

“Don’t go” 

You turn around, watching his eyes that are full of amusement. 

Is he enjoying himself this much? Does this entertain him? 

“Heeseung, stop it. It’s over between us, remember? Leave me alone, seriously” you don’t sound heated or outraged. Not even resentful. Simply tired. 

He doesn't react to your words. He knows you don't mean it. 

You knew he wouldn't stop. You knew that as long as he was here, it’d never stop. He was obsessed and giving up wasn't really an option. 

There were exceptions though. During study break, or lunch you wouldn't see him much. Maybe because the repugnance towards Jay and Jake was stronger than his willingness to see you. It didn't really matter though. 

The part of you that liked the attention made you sick. It was hard to admit, and you most definitely wouldn't tell anyone. After everything, you still couldn't resent him. The hate continued to only bring you closer. 

“When is New York?” Jake asked, his fingers tapping away on his laptop. 

Jake was failing in most of his classes and he was slowly running out of time. What he had already learned stayed with him, but now, he had to catch up on a whole semester worth of material. 

“Next week? I think” you reply and he mutters something under his breath. You don't catch it. 

“Such a boring destination” Jay comments and you breathe out a chuckle in response. What an out of touch thing to say. 

“We know, Jongseong. You’ve been there, have an apartment in SoHo and plan on going to NYU” he knows it’s a joke, he’s learned to not take offense to such silly things by now. But no one really calls him Jongseong. 

Only his mother does. He hates it just as much as he hates her. But this time- he savors the sound, how easily it slips past your lips and how satisfyingly it rings in his ears. 

A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. 

“I’ve never been” Jake piques, and you murmur a ‘Me too’ in response. He doesn't lift his eyes from the screen- it’s almost like he’s glued in place. It’s only the occasional loud sound or cramp in his leg that makes him move. 

The trip was only for juniors and seniors. It wasn't the cheapest, but Eunseok didn't comment when you asked him for the money. His worn-out figure just scribbled out a check and handed it to you. 

The main point was supposed to be St. Patrick’s Cathedral. You didn't really care for the building. Jake didn't either. You two had already planned to sneak out for dinner and shopping while the tour went on. 

“I’m rooming with Heeseung” Jake sighed, taking off his glasses to wipe them with his blazer “That fucking dickhead signed us up last week. Didn't even know until Mrs. Kim told me” 

Jay laughed. He passed Jake wet wipes, noticing how the boy can’t get his glasses clean. 

“I’m rooming with Sunghoon. Haven't really talked to him, though” Jay says, and you both nod. 

A small smile creeps onto your lips “I’m alone” 

You didn't mind at all. You could do whatever you wished without an annoying bitch telling you to go to sleep because ‘your phone screen is keeping her awake’. 

“Can I stay with you? Please” Jake pleads and you shake your head almost instantly. The boy frowns upon seeing your reaction. 

______ 

New York felt oddly familiar. 

These faces- they didn't carry that sense of foreignness. Everyone went about their day without interest in what the person next to them is up to. You felt a good kind of loneliness even though you were never truly alone. 

Little Italy and Chinatown were fun.  

You, Jay and Jake managed to slip out for a second, sharing a meal at a Cantonese restaurant. The food was quite enjoyable and the ambience was great. Jay did complain a bit though. 

That same night you went out for drinks. When all the guardians fell asleep, on cue,  everyone sneaked out of their rooms. Heeseung, rooming with Jake, found out about the plans that he wasn't included in. Of course he still tagged along. 

Jay mentioned that Sunghoon has been so quiet, it almost feels like suicide everytime they are in the room together. 

“I ask him if he wants to shower first, right? And you know what this decadent bum does? Nothing. He won’t even reply to me” 

He wanted to complain more, but Heeseung’s angered and ostentatious sigh forced him to stop. He only looked over at Jake confused before switching to a different topic. 

The next day you saw almost all the museums in Manhattan. 

Your feet were in so much pain by the time you reached The Museum of Modern Art. While Jay and Jungwon walked around pretending to care for the artwork, you and Jake sat in a corner talking and recording dumb vlogs. 

“Say hello to Jake’s vlog” he laughed, shoving the camera into your face. Jake’s stupid smile could be heard from behind the screen, his amusement making the video much more adorable. 

With an annoyed grimace, you shoved the camera away from your face. Jake was unrelenting and it made napping nearly impossible. 

“We’re in some shitty museum” he said sadly, the tone complimenting his mock expression of misery “You know what boggles me? That my dear friend Jay is pretending he likes this. No one likes this. It’s all just ugly paintings that have a forced meaning attached to them” 

“Boggles me? What are you, fucking 50?” you laugh, looking over to him. “What else am I supposed to say” his lips twist in a downwards smile.

“Just say ‘Hello’ to my vlog” he pleads again. 

Rubbing your temples, a sigh escapes your lips again. You looked up at Jake before staring right into his phone camera. 

“Hello” your unenthusiastic tone was menacing to Jake. 

He gave you a playful shove “Happier” Jake commanded. 

You look over at  him wide eyed. After a moment of his unchanging stare, you plaster a forced smile on your face that doesn't quite reach your eyes. 

“Hi” you even attempt a wave. 

Jake laughed, and turned the camera to face him again. “That’s my stripper friend Y/n. Call me to book a lap dance. It’s real” he whispered, the camera too close to his face. 

He turned the camera back to you. You shook your head as a  lighthearted laugh slipped past your parted lips “Turn this off, Jake. You’re wasting storage, you fucking idiot” 

Later that day the two of them offered to go out again since Jay had actually brought the keys to his fathers apartment. You declined. 

Maybe you’d try to call your brother, share some photos with him. It surprised you to actually get an answer. It didn't last long though- 5 minutes in he had to hang up because of an emergency surgery. 

You think about Heeseung. You think about everything, really. In the evening waiting for him becomes much more annoying. The thought of him becomes unbearable, because you’re not supposed to think about him. 

Rejecting him was almost an immediate reaction. The idea of him was much nicer than having him there, so raw and real in front of you. 

It was strange to him too- fearing the days where you were away and he had no idea where you’d gone. 

Thinking about Sunghoon was much more grounding. Much more humanly and justified. His blank stare and cold demeanor, unchanging. Nothing brought you the answer you needed. You wished he’d look at you long enough to see that same thirst for life he noticed back in December. 

A knock at the door sounds through your hotel room. It’s soft, barely audible. 

It’s probably Jake, or Jay. You look down at the time and note that it’s a reasonable time for them to be back. They’ve been out for a good 3 hours now. 

You open the door, and it doesn't really hit you at first. Sunghoon must've gotten the wrong room. 

Your attempts to look calm are futile as your voice cracks “What are you doing here..?” he stands there for a moment, his lips parted. It’s almost like he doesn't really know either.

As you step back to let him enter, he hesitates briefly “You’re alone?” His voice is mellow. The dim light in the room casts a shadow on his face making him appear much more gloomy than usual. 

You nod reluctantly. Your gaze is on him, searching, as if asking for permission to speak, continue. 

There's a moment of deep silence. It isn't uncomfortable or awkward. He's in your presence and you're in his. That seems to be enough to console the immediate tranquility. 

“Do you like it here?” he asks and it seems to strike you as unusual. He never really bothered to converse with others unless they initiated it. 

The scene is oddly familiar. He sits next to you on the bed, propping his body up on his hands. Just like you were immensely aware of each other's closeness that night, it's the same today. 

This time though it seems like it's Sunghoon's turn to find excuses to avoid the topic. And you let it happen.

“Yeah. It’s fun” you nod, and so does he. Against your will you ask a question that in different circumstances, wouldn't even make it past your throat- “Are you hiding from me?” 

Sunghoon’s heart skips a beat as he looks down at your hand. It’s dangerously close to his thigh “No, not from you” his answer is hesitant. 

“It feels like it” he bites the inside of his cheek at your words. 

His fingers play with the fabric of your white sheets “Maybe in a way I was” his voice softens, his eyes scared to look at you.  

“In what way?” you mutter. The air feels ominous, as if you're both threatening the unchangeable. 

“You know” he starts, his hand reaching closer “I was afraid to be denied” 

Sunghoon saw you call, his finger hovering over the answer button many times as he wondered what he’d even tell you. There were so many things he wanted to say. So he’d just flip the phone over. 

Today he was braver. Or at least that’s what he thought. Because being eye to eye with you again, stripped him of it all. 

“I thought you knew I wouldn't. I called you. And texted, a lot” you answered, and his lips pressed into a straight line. 

His touch is tentative. Eventually,  he reaches out towards you, his warm hand takes yours, interlacing your fingers “And I should’ve answered. I’m sorry. For not being more” he looks at you again, the warmth in his eyes genuine “Because I know you wanted me to be more” 

Tears prick at the corner of your eyes. You laugh “This is so stupid” 

You halt the tears from spilling down your cheeks. Sunghoon’s lips form into a small smile “It’s not” 

You look down at your fingers intertwined. He’s looking too. 

You can hear some girls stumble their way into the room next to yours. Judging by the voice, you think  it’s Minjeong. She says something about a 45 year old man coming to see her soon. She also seems to be begging her friend for one more drink ‘Last one, promise! I’m not drunk enough, Ning!’ 

Sunghoon doesn't say anything until the commotion dies down. Neither do you. 

“Sloshed at 11. Crazy work” he chuckles, and so do you. You nod, thinking that Jake is probably somewhere in a corner, throwing up. He was definitely not the drinker everyone made him out to be. 

He leans in closer, his eyes just for a moment searching yours for acceptance. His head falls down on your shoulder. 

“Hoon?” your voice is just above a whisper. 

He hears it again. It’s just as nice as it was back then. The sound is almost natural. He thinks you were made to call out to him. In contrast to last time, he’s much more optimistic. 

He hums, ushering you to continue “Did you mean it?” He doesn't need you to explain, because he knows exactly what you're referring to. 

A small laugh slips past his lips “I think me being here right now answers that one for you” he rises from the softness of your shoulder slowly, savoring the intimacy. A small smile forms on your lips at his words. 

Pulling back, your eyes fall onto him again. Being with Sunghoon was so easy. 

He pats his lap gently. His eyes are soft, almost begging “Come here” he whispers. The words are heavy with longing. They mingle in the air for just a second longer.

You nod after a moment of hesitation. As you settle onto him, his arms weave around your waist. He draws you into his warmth with his delicate touch. His face nestles into the hollow of your neck as he breathes softly, melting into the comfort of your presence. 

Something seemed to have removed the distance between you and Sunghoon, and for a moment you had the impression that there was absolutely no difference in wealth, age or anything else between you. It was a wonderfully free and unleashing moment where you weren’t really expected to be anything.   

“I’m sorry” he sounds shy, almost embarrassed. 

Sunghoon was never the type to apologize. He’d rather let the conflict simmer down on its own without any further interference. Yet here he was- being vulnerable and honest. 

“You already apologized” you smile, your fingers tangled in his hair. 

He chuckles lightly “Once is not enough” he mutters into your skin, the sound muffled. You feel his wet lips move against your neck. 

He raises his head, looking down at you again. “Can I kiss you?”

A sense of contentment washes over you. You nod, lips parted, waiting for him.

He gently tilts your chin up, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips. A soft breath escapes you before he finally captures your lips in a deep, consuming kiss. It quickly grows messy, his hand sliding to the back of your neck. You grasp the neckline of his shirt as his tongue teases the seam of your mouth—seeking, almost begging for entrance.

Sunghoon pulls back, his breathing heavy, his lovesick eyes locked onto you. His lips glisten, slick with your desire.

He presses a trail of open-mouthed kisses along your neck, working his way down to your chest. You watch him through heavy lids, a teasing smile playing on his lips.

“So pretty,” he murmurs, his voice low and rough. His hands slide beneath your shirt, fingers caressing your smooth skin. “Undress for me, please.” There’s a hint of desperation in his words as he tugs at the fabric.

You smile, cupping his cheek. Your thumb glides over his lips, gently parting them. “I don’t know…”

He whimpers quietly, grinding his clothed erection against you. “Don’t tease me. I need to see you.” His movements grow more frantic, his hands grasping at you like he’s desperate to feel every inch.

His face flushes with excitement as you hook your fingers under the hem of your shirt. “Want me to take this off?”

“Fuck, yes.” He nods eagerly, eyes devouring your every movement. One hand drifts down, palming himself through his pants as he watches, entranced.

With slow, deliberate motions, you peel the fabric from your body and toss it onto a nearby chair. His eyes widen with each inch of skin revealed.

“You’re desperate,” you tease, replacing his hand with your own. A feathery moan slips from his lips.

He throws his head back. “Is it obvious?” he breathes, and you confirm with a hum.

“I don’t care,” he admits, his eyes slipping shut as he pushes into your palm, eager for more.

Sunghoon thought about this all the time. He felt like such a pervert, but God, it was finally happening—and it was so much better than he ever imagined.

Last time, he was so close. Ten more minutes and a locked door, and he would’ve had you. Heeseung might have been the first to have you, but Sunghoon planned to be the one who had you best. He’d make you come over and over again until you forgot all about Lee Heeseung.

And judging by the way you were looking at him, it was already starting to work.

“I really need to fuck you,” he groans, biting his lower lip. His breathing is uneven. “So bad.” His fingers trail up your thigh, his touch light, pleading.

“Yeah?” You let out a small laugh, climbing off his lap. Your hands find the soft material of his pants.

He lifts his hips immediately, watching intently as your fingers slide the fabric down his legs.

Sunghoon can feel his heartbeat quickening, his whole body trembling with anticipation. You didn’t know he could get like this. You also didn’t know you’d like it so much.

His breath hitches when you toy with the waistband of his boxers, his legs spreading involuntarily. “Take them off, pretty,” he rasps, his voice cracking. “See how hard I am for you.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, slipping his underwear down. He groans as the fabric slides along his length, his cock springing free.

You prop yourself up on one hand, the other lingering around his thick, leaking length. “Want me to touch you?”

He exhales sharply, his cock twitching against his lower abdomen. “Mhm.” He props himself up on his elbows, eyes dark with need. “Please.”

You press your palm against his tip, moving in slow, circular motions. His breath turns ragged as he throws his head back, surrendering to the feeling.

As your confidence grows, so does your pace. Your hand strokes him, faster, firmer. He pants lightly, looking down at you through half-lidded eyes. “Ride me.”

You smirk and nod, slipping out of your shorts, fingers teasing the waistband of your underwear. He bites his lip, eyes smoldering with lust as his legs spread wider in invitation.

“Take them off me,” you whisper.

He looks up at you, almost as if seeking permission, before ripping the material away.

He’s so desperate to feel you, to touch you, that he wastes no time pulling you back onto his lap.

Sunghoon is mesmerized. He’s been with other girls before, but this is the first time he’s had to work for it. He usually just got what he wanted, no effort required. But now, with you, it feels like a reward. And he plans to cherish every second.

You’ve waited for this moment, savoring every touch, every lingering glance. Each look from him feels like a compliment and promise of something more.

He grips his throbbing length, aligning himself with your entrance. His other hand rests on your hip, steadying you. You can feel his tip pressing against you, and a low moan slips from your lips. He gazes up at you one more time, and you nod.

Slowly, you sink down onto him, your walls stretching to accommodate his thick length. A sharp gasp escapes you as you adjust, his fingers digging into your skin.

“Fuck, Hoon…” He keeps his hold firm, guiding you. “Like this? Is this what you wanted?”

“So fucking good,” he groans. His cock throbs inside you, hitting all the right spots with each downward roll of your hips. “Don’t stop.” His voice is raw with need.

He thrusts up to meet you, his whole body trembling as the wet heat of your cunt envelopes him completely. His self-control is slipping fast. If he had known it would feel this good, he never would have let Heeseung have you first. He would have taken you from the beginning.

You start to move faster, rocking your hips, pleasure building between you both. The sounds of your moans mix with the rhythmic slap of skin against skin.

“So perfect,” he mutters through heavy breaths. “You’re so perfect.”

Your head falls back as Sunghoon presses a hand against your stomach, feeling himself inside you. He grits his teeth, trying to hold back, trying to make it last. But he can already feel it—the tightening coil deep in his core.

“I can’t,” you pant, your walls fluttering around him. The need for release is overwhelming.

With those words, he loses it. He pulls you flush against his chest, thrusting up into you at a frantic pace. “Fuck—gonna cum so deep inside you.”

His teeth sink into your shoulder, leaving red marks in their wake.

“So close, Hoon,” you whimper, and it pushes him to the edge.

He buries himself to the hilt, a guttural moan tearing from his throat as he spills inside you, thick and hot, filling you completely. His eyes roll back as he comes, shuddering beneath you.

You’re right behind him, your climax crashing over you in waves. Your body quivers, collapsing onto his sweaty chest. His cum seeps from your still-clenching walls as he slowly slips out, savoring every second of your tight heat around him.

He watches his seed leak from your fucked-out hole, a satisfied smile tugging at his lips. “So pretty,” he murmurs, his voice hoarse.

With a sigh, he falls onto his back, pulling you down with him.

Sunghoon feels completely content, his fingers lazily tracing patterns along your spine. He can feel your breath against his neck, warm and steady, making him smile.

Today feels like the first day of his life.

….

The rest of the trip was unparalleled. For you and Sunghoon at least. Others could wish to say the same thing. 

Everyday he'd attempt to sneak into your room at night. He even created a special sequence of knocks just so you'd be sure it's him. Jay didn't seem to suspect anything. 

On Wednesday night while using the bathroom he said he wants to film a Get Ready With Me. Just like the ones he'd seen on social media. You laughed, and agreed. This was so unlike him. In a good way though. 

You think about the unrecorded parts- how he stood in between your legs, his face twisted in discomfort as you clear his skin. 

 “Your lipstick choice is fucking terrible. Coral is not your color, Hoon” you smile widely. 

His lips were terribly overlined. The brown pigment reached high beyond his actual mouth. Sunghoon looked so stupid, but to you, it was adorable. 

“Do it for me next time” a fond smile spreads across his face. He holds your hand, his thumb tenderly rubbing your soft skin. 

You look at him with a raised eyebrow “Next time? Didn’t know my princess liked getting her makeup done” he playfully rolls his eyes at you. 

“Too far” he tries to hold back a smile, but his twitching lip gives it away “Keep going” he looks at the cotton pad in your other hand. 

You nod, scooting just a little closer to him. 

Sunghoon stood there silently, eyes closed. His body twitches involuntarily as your fingers graze against his skin. He feels your soft breathing against his neck. The warmth mixed with the soothing swipe of the cotton pad against his face, sends a shiver down his spine, as his body naturally relaxes against you. 

“Gone” you smile and his eyes flush open. His reflection stares back at him in the mirror. 

His skin is irritated, he can tell. And usually he’d freak out. But now, he doesn't seem to really care. 

The doting look in his eyes searched your expression, his hands sliding up and down your bare thighs. 

“You’re so hot,” he says. A small smirk creeps up on his lips as he keeps inching closer. 

“Sunghoon” you glare at him, attempting to look serious. His soft laughter breaks the facade pretty quickly. 

Without another word he presses his slightly stained lips against yours. He smiles against you, his mouth opening faintly. He reaches up to hold your cheek, chest pressing against yours. A moan escapes your mouth as he deepens the kiss. His tongue swipes your bottom lip before slipping past it. 

During field trips he’d find himself drifting closer to you. And when free time came around, he'd run off with you to different parts of the city he once fell in love with. 

With his arm around your shoulders, he’d point to cafes, restaurants,  street art and even benches. He was truly happy. And even if you weren't paying attention to his stories, the genuine smile on his face was enough. 

“No way” you gasp, the amusement evident on your face as you peel away his sleeve slightly “I swear Jake and Jay have the same one” 

Sunghoon laughs, watching you analyze the ‘4’ tattoo on his wrist. 

“They do,” he smiles weakly. “Heeseung has it too” you never noticed. 

You always knew about Jay’s- it was on his right palm. Just recently you saw Jake had it too, hidden on the back of his neck. 

“He does?” Sunghoon nods and points to his ankle. 

It's almost been a year since they got it, but the ink has already started fading away. In a way, Sunghoon was relieved. 

“We were so fucking out of it that night” he starts, and you turn to face him. “It was in Tokyo, I think? This girl we met, she was a tattoo artist” he looks down at it too and his eyes seem to light up “We thought it'd be funny “ 

You grab onto his wrist as he speaks again “My mom was so mad when she found out. She wanted it removed but I was such a fucking asshole to her back then, so I didn't listen” you don’t let go, moving your fingers upwards to hold onto his hand. He smiles. 

“You look badass. Sort of” he chuckles, shaking his head. 

“It looks bad and ass. And I swear her ink was from Aliexpress” he pulls you into his chest. 

It was getting dark outside, but the city was only becoming livelier. Everyone was in a rush, but their ambition and passion was almost tangible. 

“I’m jealous then. Matching tattoos, that's serious dedication” you smile and he laughs at the comment. 

His chin rests on the top of your head, his breathing slow and steady. He watches the orange haze that falls onto the landscape. 

“I’ll get your name tattooed” you hum and it almost sounds like you're judging him. He chuckles “Swear to God” 

“You’re insane” 

The next day he’d find a new spot to take you to. He was a better tour guide than your English teacher, you’d tell him. 

And Heeseung knew about it all. To say he was angry would be an understatement. 

He passed by St. Marks Place with Karina. The girl told him something about her sister being interested in him. He didn't really listen to her though.

 So many people passed by him- maybe 40 in the span of 5 seconds. A lot of them looked similar. New York fashion is diverse, but it really just comes down to the same thing, he notes. 

Yet he pays attention to them all, especially the two oddly familiar faces that stand in front of him, playing with a passerbys dog. 

Until now, Heeseung was pretty sure he had the situation under control. He was giving you the distance he deemed necessary. Still, his eyes never left you. And when they did, once, but for a period longer than ever, you manage to find yourself in the arms of Park Sunghoon again. 

Karina notices it too. He told her all about it, the whole story. She knew he was short-tempered so she never really told him that this wasn't healthy. It’d be on the tip of her tongue every time, lingering far too long for comfort. By the time she was ready, he’d change the topic. 

“She’s being unreasonable, right? Tell me I’m not insane” he asked. His eyes focused on the last sip of whiskey in his glass. 

You are, she thinks. 

“You can’t just expect her to move on because you said so” she wants to laugh, but judging by his worn-out expression, he’s not in the mood for humor. 

He scoffs. Why not? You never had an issue listening to him.

“I didn’t say so” he replies, and she looks at him with her eyebrow raised “I said sorry, Rina. What the fuck else is there to say?” 

“Nothing” Karina’s reply is almost automatic “That’s really the thing, you know? Sometimes sorry isn’t enough” her attempts at ‘comfort’ are fruitless- his head falls on the table after he finishes whatever was left of his drink. 

“Does this haircut make my face look weird?” 

Karina would laugh it off. She’d just let him go on about his haircut, the shoes he bought today, Jake’s glasses that he accidentally stepped on and the stray cat that almost bit him. 

She knew that it was a matter of time until he’d bring you up again. It was a cycle that never ended. 

While you deny him love, you give it to the same person he’s been trying to erase. And in a way it’s his fault- he left the cage open and you walked out. 

____

“Are you fucking serious right now? Two parents but still can’t slice up a tomato” Jay scolds the younger boy that was forced to help him in the kitchen. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Jake retorts, his expression tired as he gives up on the job completely. The massacred tomato lies on the cutting board which Jay swiftly takes over. 

“Everything, Jake. Literally everything” he sighs, sending Jake away with his hand. 

Dinners, hangouts, parties and suddenly everything fell into place. There no longer was the inexplicable animosity hanging in the air. It felt strange at first- the conversations and acts of kindness turned into something a lot more authentic and domestic. This is what you missed the most, it seems. 

“You’re not getting into Harvard, fucking dumbass” Sunghoon laughed, digging his fork into the food prepared by Jay (and as he himself argued, Jake, who waited for the water to boil before dumping in the pasta). 

“My grades are better now” Jake asserted “You’ll see, I’ll have the last laugh. Just wait” the threat and seriousness in his expression makes you chuckle. 

“I’m gonna stay here” Sunghoon smiles. You look at him confused. You well remember him mentioning Princeton. 

“What about Princeton?” Jay brings it up before you manage to do so. Sunghoon shakes his head, setting down his utensils. 

“My step-mom is sick,” he reveals. You grab his hand under the table, and he squeezes hard “She’ll be fine, don’t worry. I just want to be with my family for now. Maybe in the future I’ll transfer” he adds with a smile. 

Sunghoon has never been particularly close to his mother or his step-mother. It was a choice for him. 

Jeongja, his mothers girlfriend, came into his life when he was 5 years old. She took care of him like he was her own. “Blood is not a requirement when it comes to family. I’ll always love you like a son, Sunghoon. Will you remember that?” she told him one day. He always thinks about that time. Sunghoon has always been so loved and he wishes he gave it back sooner, not when he was on the brink of losing her. 

Jay feels a pang of guilt in his chest at his words. Maybe one day he could learn to love his mother again. Not today, not tomorrow but one day. He wants that, more than anything. 

The day comes to a close soon enough, leaving you and Sunghoon to bask in each other's embrace. 

His head is on your stomach, as you play with his hair. It’s grown quite long, especially in the back. 

“Two days before New Year's I was at the event hosted by Heeseung’s father” he starts. You don’t say anything, allowing him to continue “I talked to Heeseung then. That was the last time, actually” he chuckles lightly. There’s a hint of sadness in his tone, but he can't quite tell why. 

“You know he actually likes you?” it doesn't shock you like he expected it to. He doesn't comment on it though, letting you find the right words in reply. 

“I know” you say, and he sits up abruptly, looking at you. 

“You do?” He seems puzzled. It has been so long since he’s seen or even talked to Heeseung. He wouldn't know. 

Maybe there is a part of him that misses the boy. He was his first friend at Saint Matthew’s Academy. He welcomed him like they’d been friends since forever. Heeseung put up with his initial shyness even when it seemed like everyone else couldn't anymore. 

Sunghoon always smiles when he thinks about his first day. Lee Heeseung spotted him in the crowd, and without an introduction, swung his arm around his shoulder, talking to him like an old friend. 

He introduced him to Wonyoung, his first actual girlfriend. Even though he wasn't on the best terms with her right now, even though he was with her out of convenience, the memory of their time shared together makes his heart just a little warmer. 

Heeseung was the one who gave him a life. And he loved him, which made leaving 10 times harder. 

Even so, he doesn't regret the decision. He knew it was pointless to live with the idea of his once best friend that wasn't really accurate anymore. They both deserved better than each other. 

“He’s made it pretty clear” your lips form into a downwards smile.

Sunghoon looks away from you for a brief moment as he speaks up “And it doesn't change anything?” 

“What do you mean?” you tilt your head in question. 

Sunghoon exhales sharply. Even though he knows what answer to expect, there’s still that ounce of fear in him. Fear that stems from being second, being the ‘afterparty’. 

“You still choose this? Even if you know it wasn't necessarily fake after all?” he asks even though he knows he shouldn't. 

You smile, and pull him back into your chest “I should've chosen this from the beginning” he feels his heart grow bigger, a heat rising to his face “It doesn't matter what it was, not really. Didn’t you know I’d come back to you?” he chuckles and shakes his head. 

“I’m happy you did” he murmurs, his eyes shutting. Your hand slips under his shirt, caressing the soft skin on his back “You know, if he ever made you feel worse than us, I hope you know it’s not true. You’re a good girl, and I always knew it. You deserve more, and I’ll make sure you get it, okay?” 

You smile lightly, and nod. 

You look over at the dirty dishes in the sink, messy dinner table, and sigh softly as you think about all the work that’ll have to be conquered soon. 

But you let him fall asleep on your chest, and it feels good. Even if there's things left undone. 

____

 It was Jungwon’s birthday dinner today. 

After the school trip you two have grown much closer. He would visit you during breaks or sometimes join you in the study hall. He’d even given up his seat next to Jay (who was surprisingly really good at the subject) in French class to sit with you. 

Jungwon would talk a lot about his girlfriend, Binna. She went to a public school not far from here and met Jungwon during a student exchange program to Sweden. She’d always tell him what people at her school thought about the well renowned, enclosed community of St. Matthew’s. It wasn’t entirely positive, and since Binna was dating one of the ‘stuck-up dickheads that probably wipes his ass with $100 bills’, they wouldn’t really include her in the conversations anymore. 

But you enjoyed hearing about her. Jungwon would ask for advice regarding gifts, places he should take her and things he could do to make her feel loved. And you’d always give it to him. 

He showed you countless pictures of her,  always struggling with choosing one  “She looks pretty in all of these, I swear!” 

Her  brown hair covered her face slightly but you could still see her beautiful face. Big, doe eyes, plump lips that were rosewood pink. She had a scar under her right eye. You thought it made her look so stunning. Jungwon did too. 

During his birthday dinner, you saw them together for the first time. It was almost like he forgot what he was here for in the first place, his attention on her only. 

You sat next to Sunghoon and Jake. Jay sat next to Jake with Niki on his right. Heeseung sat across from you, Karina next to him on the left, Sunoo on his other side. The other people there you didn’t really recognize. 

The relationship between you and Jungwon wasn’t the only thing that changed. A lot of things did. 

“Let’s go back to my house after this” he leaned in closer to you. He didn’t have to even whisper, the conversations that surrounded you ringing in your ears. The music was loud too. You think Sade is playing, but you're not sure. 

Jake, although currently arguing with Jay about baseball clubs, notices. He caught on pretty early. During a walk after school, he brought it up. “Back in the game, huh? How did you even get him to talk?”. He knew you wouldn’t admit to anything, but it was funny to watch you get flustered at his comments. 

“Won’t you be tired?” you ask, and he laughs softly. Tired after eating a free dinner, and cracking a few fake smiles? This was like a day job for him. Countless dinners with his biological father, whom he truly despised, or CEO’s of other successful companies, or with Wonyoung and her parents (he hated those one’s the most). He’s used to it by now. 

He shakes his head ‘no’ which causes you to smile. His hand lingers next to your thigh. He’s tempted to touch you, but Heeseung’s piercing gaze prevents him. He doesn’t know why. It’ll end soon, surely. 

You look over at Jay who's now in conversation with Niki. It’s a little shocking to see them like this. 

Niki never liked Jay, and Jay didn’t like him either. Even if he was meant to marry his sister one day (which he saw maybe four times in his life, but truly wasn’t opposed to- she was so beautiful), Niki just couldn’t care less about Park Jongseong. They seem to be laughing at something now and it doesn't look forced, not at all. It’s a rare view and you almost take a photo. You could tease him with it later. 

Jake turns to you and Sunghoon, noting how the boy is much more talkative when he’s with you. 

“I’ll be back” you say, and Sunghoon nods, watching you stand up. He wants to say ‘I’ll miss you’, but thinks it’s incredibly corny. 

The restaurant is crowded tonight. You seem to be the only big group of people there. You smile while passing an older couple that’s celebrating the wife’s birthday, a small cake  and a big bouquet in a glass vase on the table. 

Warm water slides down your fingers, drips down your wrist as you watch your reflection in the mirror.

January seeped into February while you became better. That's what you want to believe at least. While the hair dye keeps fading away, you think about how Heeseung suggested the color. When you touch what's left of your lip piercing (only a healed  scar), you remember how he picked it out for you. It’s not inherently bad to change yourself for someone, but you wish you hadn't become everything you never wanted to be. 

The door opens, the creak sounding through the bathroom. You don't look up, instead shaking the wetness off your hands. 

“Still scared of the hand-dryer?” he leans against the wall. His tone is almost mocking, and usually you’d laugh with him. But today, just like yesterday and the day before that too, you don't feel like talking to Lee Heeseung. 

“Heeseung, I’m not in the mood” Your tone is flat and his expression- unchanging. “I already told you everything I had to say” 

“Do I make you feel sick? Do you think about what happened between us and feel sick?” You're taken aback by his sudden question. 

There's a moment of painful silence as he gauges your reaction. You look at him with utter confusion, but his expression doesn't seem to falter- he's calm, almost too calm. 

For the weeks after New York, Heeseung went back to ignoring you. You wouldn't see him much either, as he spent most of his time with Karina or a group of guys from your grade. Sometimes, he’d look at you for a moment longer than intended. His lips would part, as if he wanted to say something, but he never did. 

Heeseung started ignoring you, and for the first time since you met him, it was okay. 

“What?” you choke out, and he doesn't repeat. You heard him the first time, didn't you? “N- No. What are you even talking about?” 

He scoffs, his eyes on the floor. Your back is pressed against the sink as you wait for him to continue. 

“Then why him? We were good together” he doesn't sound sad, or resentful. It's almost like the question comes out automatically, like it's standard procedure. 

You want to laugh. He sounds robotic, his ‘apology’ most likely rehearsed. No matter how much time passes, no matter what happens and what doesn't, Heeseung doesn't quite get it. Not at all. 

“I want someone who doesn't see me as a game” you speak and he doesn't fire back- instead he nods. “And honestly, I really don't give a fuck what changed in the middle. You should've told me then, not after we had sex” he cringes at the reminder. 

Was sorry really not enough? He needs a breakthrough, but nothing seems to work. 

The last time he felt like this was when his first real girlfriend broke up with him to be with his brother. They're still together- a stinging reminder of what Heeseung couldn't be. 

He remembers begging her to stay, standing in front of her, a desperate look on his face “I’ll be better” . She just laughed in his face. He felt like such an idiot. 

And it happens yet again- it's just never enough. He's never enough. 

He sighs, his expression changing “Do I have to kill him to get my fucking life back?” 

You look at him confused “I- I don't understand” he shakes his head. His body peels off the wall, as he comes closer to you. 

“That dickhead has it. He stole my life” his voice is just above a whisper, his eyes darkening. You don’t reply, a look of hesitancy on your features. 

His friends, his almost girlfriend, his social status- Sunghoon took it away. He stole his identity, everything he's ever worked for. Heeseung had nothing left. 

His hand lands on your shoulder, his touch tentative at first “I’ll be better” 

He watches you sigh, a twinge of sadness in your eyes that can't look at him. A flash of hope crosses his face, but Heeseung knows it's pointless- he already lost. A long time ago. 

“It doesn't matter anymore, really” you finally speak “And I don't think I’ll ever be over the person you were before, Heeseung” 

Heeseung looked like he knew this was coming. Probably because he did. 

He could say some cliche shit like “You know I’ll always love you?” or “Can you kiss me for the last time?”, but he doesn't. He nods. Maybe because he knew this far longer than he'd like to admit. 

Heeseung recalls the moment he first saw you like it was yesterday. He was being a douche, wasn't he? It always went the same- he showers you with compliments, makes you think he’s emotionally intelligent, and eventually he’d have some fun with you. He never knew it’d go this far, no. 

Now, he hates himself for being so fucking stupid, so reckless. But again, he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret long. They knew, they all did. And time already showed him that they wouldn't wait with the truth. They just would, they all would. 

He’s glad to be leaving soon. Changing schools was never his plan- but it no longer made sense for him to be here. He’s sure there’s nicer things waiting for him in Kyoto. 

He’s sure there’s a better version of him there.

Heeseung wants to tell you that this stupid birthday dinner for silly, little Yang Jungwon is most likely the last time he’ll see you. He wants to tell you that those rumors about him moving are true, but he bites his tongue. You probably knew anyway, and you probably didn't care. 

He hugs you, and you let him. You let him hold you, and you pretend not to hear his quiet sniffles. He wouldn't want you to see him like this. Deep down he hopes that maybe eternal return is real, and he’ll get to have you in the exact same way again at one time. 

Heeseung moves away from you, his glossy eyes glazing over your figure. He moves for the door handle, opening the door. The world becomes much louder again, as the line of tables spreads out in the distance.

“After you” he smiles weakly, his eyes avoiding you. 

You reciprocate the same weak, apologetic smile. Stepping out of the bathroom you don't look back, heading straight for the table you came from. 

You could've kept avoiding it, ignoring the growing pain in your chest whenever he crossed you. But you owed it to him. 

There's a flash of guilt on your features as you approach everyone. But seeing Sunghoon laughing so effortlessly and purely with Jake and Jay again makes your lips curve into a small, genuine smile again. 

“Are you okay?” his wide smile doesn't falter as Sunghoon turns to look at you. There’s a bit of concern in his tone as speaks, though. You nod. 

“Where’s Karina?” you ask, noticing the two empty seats. 

They think it’s weird- you asking about Karina of all people. But no one bothers to really make a comment about it. 

“She left with Heeseung like 10 minutes ago. Didn't you see them leaving?” Jake questions. 

“No” your gaze falls onto Sunghoon again. He looks so happy, and free. It didn't use to be like this. “Let’s get out of here” you lean down, your face at level with his. 

He nods, moving swiftly as he collects his belongings “Yeah. Let’s go. If you’re not tired” he grins. You roll your eyes playfully, shoving him softly. 

He holds your hand, his skin so delicate and smooth against yours. His grip is tight, as if he’s scared something might take you away from him. 

“Let’s go be tired together, yeah?” he nods with a smile, looking down at you. 

And the bittersweetness of February 9th stains you like the blood of a plump cherry on a summer day. But it was always meant to be this way, you think. 

[akhmenos]

I was doing a setting for a DnD campaign where gods are made by faith, and my players might a true Elder Being, the spirit of Volcanoes, and his (? we're gonna go with his because the players read the speaker as male and what is a god but how they are perceived?) speech went a little like this:

"Do you know from where we come, mortal? The first time a living thing attempted to predict the world, it made something that never was and yet is And on and on it grew, until the first of your kind rose, blinking in the light, and it named that light. And the light was More. And the fire was More and the water was More, and all creation was More because you named them and tried to understand them.

But you couldn't. Your eyes are too small, your knowledge too shallow, and the world too vast. And so you created us. You made the world make sense by forcing it to exist as you do. No more was the storm just a collection of pressure zones and humidity, moved and powered by the sun and the sea, it was the wrath of an angry God. Death was not the inevitable result of temporary processes ending, it was a monster that came in the night to steal you away. Mountains bursting with fire and destruction was not the pressure of a molten and moving core, it was Me.

And we loved you. How could we not? You made us to help you, to make the world better, to make it make sense. You made us to love you, and we did. I taught you the words that you had already made, that would ignite my fires and birth land from the water, and together we made a world. We were nothing but tools, I guess, but we were tools that could serve our purpose. Can you imagine it, little one? Can you imagine being born out of nothing but your creator's desire for you, and being used to make something wonderful? You always imagined us loving you paternally, but that is because you made us to do so.

And then you left us. You forgot us. You made better tools, better words, better magic, and at first we rejoiced - look at the things you made with those new tools. Shining cities and vast farmlands. More of your kind growing from the land that we had made together than had ever been born before. And then the wars started, and you tore at each other and at the world. You tore at the magic of the world, and you killed us in the name of victory. The seas are dry, the greenery nearly gone. The desert so omnipresent that you've ceased naming it, and so my people have faded. We are made Less by what you've done. I am an echo of a memory, and even that fades.

We are born because you long for us, and we die because you forget us. And after all these years, I wonder if that is not a kind of mercy."

For the past few years I've been enchanted by the idea of the divine as intrinsically horrific and dehumanizing, but not in the usual assumption (pun intended), where the intrinsic dehumanization and horror comes from something like "A god looked at me and I turned into stone" or "I, a mortal, looked at a god and got turned into a laurel tree".

I've been thinking about it in the opposite direction. Where being a god is intrinsically horrific and dehumanizing.

To put it another way: I've been writing a lot from the perspective of divinity where the god experiences godhood in the way a haunted house experiences househood. You were created by mortals for comfort, for condolence, for safety, for sympathy. You were built with all the care and special attention to ensure that you would last a long time--longer than your inhabitants would live, but that's fine, because they'll leave you descendants.

Except you, unlike the average house, have a brain. Have hands. Have a stomach which can hunger but never starve. You cannot die, but you know what death is. You see humans and raccoons and spiders and trees and rocks and everything else in this whole world die all the time, but it will not touch you.

How many years do you think it takes before your mouth starts to salivate like your gut's gone sour? How many endings do you have to witness before you begin to stop caring when things you paid attention to die? How many times do you hear your name contort and twist under the weight of different empires' languages before you stop recognizing it as yours anymore, and cease answering when they call?

How long does it take before you stop being capable of interacting with the rest of the world in a way that a person can understand, can safely comprehend, would ever want to experience?

And how much of that, do you think, do you let happen on purpose, because the alternatives were all too much to even begin to imagine after one too many mountains turned to sand before your eyes?

[omgfangirlland]

The Shadows That Nurture 3

I'm on a roll- don't expect it to last :)) but as of right now, Chapter 4 is done, Chapter 5 will be started, and I feel like each one will be longer and longer than the last- hope ch4 was just a one in a trillion thing

First || previous<< Chapter 3 >>next

Sleeping that night seemed to be a struggle on its own, nightmares plaguing your mind left and right. You’d fall asleep for 30 minutes and wake up, fall asleep for another 30 minutes and wake up again, and again, and again, giving up once you woke up at 03:33 am. No use in trying to sleep if you’re just going to wake up crying and gasping for air, heart pumping so hard you could hear the blood running through your veins.

You needed air, wanted something less stuffing than the four walls that seemed to close in around your shaking form. With bare feet, you made your way across the manor towards the garden. May as well try and do something productive.

The garden was loved and taken care of, once upon a time. The plants were dead, the trees dried beyond help, and the dirt may need to be changed as well if the roots have gone putrid and rotten, just to be sure. It’ll take years to bring the space to its glory, to how it looked in the painting, but you could feel it in your bones that it will be worth it.

Diverting your attention from the nightmares to the garden helped ease the shaking, the fear. The more you thought about the nightmares, the more you didn’t know which one scared you the most. Between relieving your mom’s death, accepting she was dead, that you’ll never see her again, that you didn’t even know where they buried her- and seeing Bruce as the one holding the gun, firing it at your mom, at you, and then laughing with glee, saying something you didn’t quite remember…  You couldn’t decide which one you hated the most.

Your eyes trailed the walls of the manor, up to the roof, and back down. You wanted to call him dad, hug him, have him come to your recitals and activities, and have him love you like Officer Gordon said he would. And yet, no matter how close he seemed to you, he was farther away than the moon. You hoped it was just your awkward self, that maybe your anxieties were putting ideas where there shouldn’t be any. Today’s breakfast only seemed to fortify said anxieties.

“When will I go back to school?” The question fell from your lips so quietly, and the silence it created made you sink into yourself. Bruce’s eyes had been glancing at you non-stop, but now they were fixated on you, non-blinking. He hummed, low and thoughtful. “You’ll be moved to online schooling. After what happened to your mom, I feel it will be safer for you to stay inside the manor for a while”

“For forever.” The shadows hissed in his ear, but Bruce simply cleared his throat, checked his watch, and left, Richard following soon after at the man’s nudging. Bruce will drive Dick to school. Your eyes remained on your plate as they left, remaining quiet for a while.

“Mama said I should make friends.” Your teary eyes met Alfred’s again as your lip trembled. “How will I make friends if I can’t go outside?” The older man’s hands were rubbing together behind his back. He felt as inexperienced as when Bruce was a toddler, as unsure of what to do as when he was with his father. That was a rare feeling for the man.

With a soft sigh and a shaky hand placed on the young kid’s shoulder, Alfred did what he did best. “I am sure you will have many opportunities to make friends, young miss.” He lied. You knew he was, and yet you held onto the hope. Bruce said it’ll only be for a while- so maybe, just maybe, in high school, you’ll have tons of friends.

You finished your plate, eyes still wet, but at least you didn’t cry. Your insistence to help Alfred was only met with a soft smile and a shake of his head, the man insisting on you enjoying the free time you have, telling you that perhaps you should go and buy some clothes, some decorations for your room.

Again, you mentioned the insanity of leaving a kid to buy whatever they wanted, but Alfred only laughed. “Can- is there a laptop I can use? Mama always let me on hers when we ordered something online. It’ll be easier for me…” You asked so softly, almost going into rambling as anxiety of sounding like a brat, like you were ungrateful for the phone, settled in.

Alfred didn’t even blink, no muscle on his face twitched as he only nodded, saying he’ll bring one to your room straight away. That was easier than expected. You were so used to your mom saying no, or bargaining with her for new shoes, and you understood- you didn’t have that much money, could barely scrap by… But the way the Waynes threw money around felt irresponsible. Does Bruce truly make that much money that he doesn’t have to worry about losing his home? What if he loses it all one day? Does he have a savings account? Your tummy didn’t feel good worrying about all that, mama always said that only adults should worry about money.

You don’t think your mom would like Bruce very much. That thought filtered through your brain for quite a while as you looked up how to take care of a garden and specific plants you wanted to see bloom. He was so cold, distant, creepy, and secretive. Your mother always dreamed of a loving man, strong but gentle. You never understood why she put up with the men she hung out with considering they were exactly like Bruce.

Alfred interrupted your musing as he knocked, opening the door only when he heard your voice. He left the laptop and its charger on the desk, and his only words were to inform you of the timetable for eating.  “But, of course, if you get hungry before then, you’re more than welcome to the kitchen, young miss.” And he left just as fast as he came, barely having the time to ask where your mother would be buried. You doubted Bruce would hold a funeral for her. Alfred just said he’ll look into it.

With a small huff, you went and plugged the charger into the wall and laptop before opening it. Bruce gave you the card to use, and if he can’t be bothered to go with you to stores, you can surely get whatever you want. He’s so rich, you can bleed him dry a bit.

In the end, you didn’t. You felt too guilty about buying clothes and things for the garden, so your desires for those shiny metallic watercolors and 360 markers were exchanged for a few sketchbooks and graphite pens. Your mother is rolling in her grave at how much you spent, you were sure, so you rationalized the guilt to simply wanting to perfect your skills before buying those fancy things.

You got the clothes a size or two bigger, just like mami did, so they’ll fit you for longer. Simple things, pajamas, socks, underwear, and a few pairs of jeans and T-shirts, things she’d buy for you since you were unsure of what you were supposed to get.

You hoped Bruce wouldn’t be too angry, he was a scary man now, and you dreaded to see him angry. On the garden side of things, you may have overindulged. From all the tools you got, to the kind of soil, to the types of flowers, to making sure you got beds for the plants. The soil outside truly looked beyond saving. But if he was okay with Richard’s desire for more gymnastics equipment, surely he'd be fine with this.

At lunch, you were informed by Alfred that Bruce and Dick won’t attend dinner. It didn’t surprise you, however, it still felt like they were avoiding you, and it still hurt. Perhaps this will be the new normal, the everyday occurrence. Maybe this was normal for them, you were sure high school and work kept them both busy… Will they ever have time for you?

Tag list: @bat1212 @trashlanternfish360 @shycreatorreview @syrooo @a-lurking-fae Forgot the tags D: my bad

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Catch me when I fall (1)

THIS IS PART ONE BCS TUMBLR IS AGAIN ACTING LIKE SHIT SO IT WILL BE DIVIDED INTO TWO PARTS!

pairing: hyunjin x afab!reader

genre: fluff, angst, smut

wc: 21.2k (30.6k both parts)

synopsis: An artist finds inspiration in a dancer, and the dancer finds hope inside the artist's paintings.

warnings: alcohol, mentions of death

nsfw warnings: multiple sex scenes, making out, mutual masturbation, grinding, oral (f and m), blindfolds, fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, creampies

a/n: i am sorry this is so long and detailed!!! i just love soft artist hyunjin sm😭🫶🏻 also can you tell i suck at french hahaha

~ masterlist

~ divider by @strangergraphics

The sky had darkened, snowflakes silently falling down and catching onto Hyunjin's hair that was peaking out of his beanie. He could see his breath as he exhaled, disappearing into the cold air like a puff of smoke.

He shivered, his hands digging further into the pockets of his coat as he stared at the huge building before him. Usually, he wouldn't be out when it's this cold, but something had pulled him out of the comfort of his bed and dragged him out into the night.

There was a show in the theater, a performer he saw many times before but would come to see again in the blink of an eye any time he got the chance.

Tonight was that chance as Hyunjin took a few long strides after playing around with the puffs of air, the snowflakes around him gently grazing his rosy cheeks.

He finally walked into the building, standing in line to get his ticket checked. The air inside was warm, like a hug from a loved one inviting him closer. The lady at the entrance smiled at him as she looked at his ticket.

"Good evening, Hyunjin." she said, already acquainted with the young man.

"Good evening, ma'am." Hyunjin greeted politely before he finally walked into the theater, looking for his spot. He always liked to sit in the gallery as it gave him the best view of the stage.

Hyunjin sat comfortably, biting his lip in anticipation for what's to come. The murmur of the audience ceased as the lights in the room dimmed, a single spotlight shining onto the curtains.

Hyunjin gulped, leaning at the edge of his seat.

Soft music started playing and the curtain finally opened, revealing you standing in front of the silk that was secured on the ceiling.

His eyes started shining immediately as your performance began. You gave an elegant wave, your smile brighter than any spotlight, shining right onto the audience.

As soon as you started climbing up, Hyunjin's heart fluttered because he knew what was next. You wrapped the silk skilfully around yourself and Hyunjin tried, as always, to follow every small movement, to learn your routines, to understand how you did all those beautiful tricks that had captured his heart.

He stopped breathing for a moment as you let yourself fall, your body rolling against the silk as you caught yourself, bending and stretching yourself into all sorts of shapes. In Hyunjin's eyes you were art, your body was art, your hard work was art, your beauty was nothing but pure art.

He was infatuated and inspired by you, watching you move and command the stage so gracefully, like it was nothing.

When you finished and bowed to the audience, Hyunjin's ears filled with the sound of clapping and he stood up, weaving through the bodies of onlookers and disappearing into the black night.

He didn't want to accidentally run into you as he couldn't express into words the way you touched his heart with your dancing. You shined so brightly from afar that he was afraid he'd be blinded if he came any closer to you.

Hyunjin would later paint a scene inspired by your performance, but never display it in his gallery.

It was created only to give him comfort.

-

The cold morning air seemed to bite at your cheeks as you strolled through the city, trying to bury your face into your scarf as much as you could. The streets were mostly cleaned, the snow that had fallen last night was swept aside.

Your steps were hurried and purposeful, you had a goal in your mind. You woke up this morning with an urge to visit the gallery. One of many, but this one was your favorite.

You had no idea who owned it or who the artist was as they insisted on staying anonymous but you felt connected to them. It's as if they were painting for you, sending you a direct message that said 'hey, I'm here, I care, I understand.' You felt comforted and welcomed every time you walked into that gallery, every time you were surrounded by those paintings it was like a loving touch, telling you you're not alone.

As soon as you walked into the gallery, the world became quiet and contemplative, all the overstimulating noises and lights of the city disappearing.

A new exhibition of paintings decorated the walls and you made sure to stop in front of every single one, taking your time to revel in each detail the artist put onto the canvas. It seemed that they were feeling nostalgic and even a bit dark, judging by the paintings of lonely city views and lonely looking people.

You understood. Of course you did. After all, it had been three years since the accident and even though you healed on the outside, the wound on your heart still stung. Subconsciously, you rubbed your ring finger with your thumb as you continued looking at the paintings.

And there it was again, that comforting feeling, like this person knew exactly what you were going through, like they could read your mind and feel your emotions. A signature adorned every painting, the initials H.H. When you closed your eyes you could almost see the hand that put them there.

-

Hyunjin wasn't supposed to come to the gallery this morning, as the official opening wasn't happening until the evening, but he wanted to check if everything was in order.

At first, he didn't recognize you as you had your back turned to him but once you moved onto the next painting, Hyunjin saw the side of your face and stopped in his tracks.

His throat went dry immediately, his heart pounding against his chest as warmness spread through his body. There is no way you are actually here. He stared for some time and you must've sensed eyes on you as you turned to look right at him.

Hyunjin thought his world had stopped in that moment. You could say the same thing.

Your heart skipped a beat and you gave the handsome stranger a polite smile before tearing your eyes away from him reluctantly.

Hyunjin contemplated if he should approach you and how to actually do it without sounding like a creep. Saying 'hey, I watch you perform!' would probably be weird and chase you away and Hyunjin couldn't have that.

This was his one chance. What are the odds you'd come into his gallery?

He bit on his lip nervously as he slowly approached you. You were standing in front of a painting of an older couple walking hand in hand in the snow, everything around them fading away as they looked at each other. It was the only hopeful painting in this particular exhibition.

"You seem to like that painting a lot." a voice broke you out of your thoughts, scaring you a little as you turned abruptly only to be met with a pair of warm eyes belonging to the handsome stranger.

"I do. It makes me feel secure. And warm. Even though it is cold around them and everything looks dead and abandoned, they are smiling at each other, their cheeks are rosy. It's like they don't even notice the snow, only each other."

Hyunjin's heart started beating fast, his stomach felt weird and he knew what the feeling was even though he hasn't felt it in a long time.

"Yeah, they're too infatuated that they wouldn't even notice the world falling apart around them." Hyunjin smiled as he stared at your face.

You kept looking at the painting as he studied you. He'd never seen you up close like this, only far away on stage where you shined like the sun, and now up close you were still warm but Hyunjin could see the worry and melancholy in your eyes.

There was an aura of sadness around you, like you were carrying something heavy, but Hyunjin knew what it was like to carry a burden that weighs you down every single day.

"They are. I think this is my favorite painting of this exhibition." you said and Hyunjin beamed.

"Really? It is? I'm so glad!" he got too excited and you looked at him with a confused smile.

"I mean, it's my favorite too." Hyunjin chuckled awkwardly. "How did you find out about this gallery?"

The handsome stranger persisted and even though you felt a bit awkward with him practically interrogating you, something pulled you to stay and talk to him.

"I come here a lot. I check out every new exhibition." you said and Hyunjin almost started hyperventilating.

"Really?!" Hyunjin wondered how he's never seen you at the openings.

You looked at him, wondering why he was so excited about someone else's paintings.

"Yeah. It's like this artist understands the way I feel, like we are connected somehow."

Hyunjin's heart skipped a beat as he stared at you with wide eyes. He couldn't believe you admired his paintings so much; and not just that, you had found yourself inside him.

"Yeah? I feel the same." he said as you chuckled at him, still feeling a little awkward.

"Well, it was nice talking to you but I should go now."

Hyunjin opened his mouth to say something, anything to make you stay but you were already walking away, giving him a timid and polite wave, unlike the grandiose one you give on stage.

He didn't even manage to wave back before you walked out of the door. He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he watched the door, his heart beating fast against his chest.

A part of him hoped you'd come back in but a part of him was relieved you left because you made him want to bounce off the walls and squeal like some school girl with a crush and that scared him. He turned to look at his painting again, the old couple so entwined in each other.

Hyunjin started to reminisce.

Two years ago

It was another cold winter morning, when Hyunjin woke up to an empty bed. The side where his lover laid was cold as his hand landed there, searching for the familiar warmth. When he found nothing but a void, his heart dropped in his stomach.

He had been fighting with his partner for the last few months, the ugly words they both said breaking them apart more and more each day.

Hyunjin knew it was inevitable, who he once considered the love of his life was just a passerby in the journey he was on, just a lesson to learn from; it was over even before it officially ended.

As he stood up, he saw it; the empty drawers and empty side of the closet. With an ugly heaviness weighing down on his chest, he slowly made his way to the kitchen. To his surprise, his partner was sitting there drinking coffee with a sullen look on their face.

Hyunjin then noticed the suitcase by the door.

"I thought you already left." Hyunjin's voice wavered as he swallowed the tears threatening to come out.

"I think it's only fair to at least say goodbye after four years of being together." his partner said, putting the cup down.

"So, you're really leaving?"

"I'm sorry. It's just not the same as it was. I don't- I don't love you anymore." they whispered and in the silence around them, Hyunjin heard his heart shattering into million pieces.

"Y-you don't mean that." he whispered, hands rolling into fists as he dug his nails into his skin.

"I do, I'm really sorry. I tried to make it work, but we haven't been us in such a long time that I don't know how to get back to that." his partner sighed.

"Yeah, since you started acting cold and distant." Hyunjin said bitterly, clenching his teeth and willing himself not to start crying.

"I'm sorry again. I really hope you find happiness, Hyunjin. You deserve it." with that, his now ex partner turned around, leaving out the door and out of his life forever.

It was as if everything collapsed around him and he was left alone in the cold. There was nothing stopping the tears from falling now.

Ever since that day, Hyunjin built a wall around his heart, the love he once saw as comforting, carefree and safe was now a frightening gamble.

He couldn't see himself falling in love again until there was you. Maybe, just maybe it was possible to open up his heart once again, even though it scared him deeply he was determined to get to know you more.

-

Another wonderfully executed performance was finished and you reveled in the well-deserved cheers and claps of the satisfied audience.

The curtain closed and you let out a breath full of excitement and relief. You were hugged and praised before you could escape from everyone, change into your clothes and just have a moment to yourself.

You decided to walk through the corridor of the gallery since most of the audience left and if they were walking out you'd blend into them in your big coat and make your escape.

As you strolled, you noticed a familiar figure in the distance. It was the handsome stranger you met at the gallery the other day. You stopped for a moment, your heart picking up speed as your lips parted. He noticed you, his eyes wide, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

Both of you just stood there for a moment, before he smiled and slowly made his way to you.

You also started walking, a small smile spreading on your lips as he kept his eyes on you.

Hyunjin couldn't be more excited to be running into you, thinking you'd left through the backdoor after the performance only to find you here.

In his excitement, Hyunjin miscalculated a step and before he could catch himself, he was falling.

You gasped, rushing towards him but it was too late, he was sprawled on the soft carpet of the theater, a grunt escaping his lips.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" you quickly reached your hands towards him and he grabbed them, getting up.

His face was red and he looked breathless, avoiding your eyes.

"M'fine. My dignity is not." he said with a frown, dusting off his jeans with his hands.

"It's okay, it happens to the best of us." you giggled and he finally looked up at you, his face becoming even more red.

Even though he was dying of embarrassment, Hyunjin's stomach was full of butterflies, swirling around his insides and making him nauseous.

"Or just to me." he shook his head, making you chuckle again.

"You saw me perform?" you asked curiously and he nodded, biting on his lip as a nervous habit.

"I hope you enjoyed." you smiled and warmness spread around Hyunjin's heart.

"Enjoyed?" he chuckled. "It was breathtaking as always." his smile dropped when he realized what he said.

"As always?" you looked at him confusedly, tilting your head.

"I mean... last time... well. Ughhh... I come here often to watch you perform. Not like in a weird way! Oh my god I'm so sorry, I probably sound like a creep. I just admire your dancing, that's all, please don't kick me." he flailed his arms with a funny look on his face.

"I'm not gonna kick you." you laughed. "I'm very honored to have people tell me they come back to watch my performances. And by people, I mean you since you're the first person to tell me that." you added, your own cheeks becoming rosy.

"Oh. Thanks for not kicking me." he chuckled. "I'm Hyunjin, by the way."

"Y/n. Though you probably know that." you said, remembering your name is on all your performances. "You didn't tell me you knew who I was yesterday." you added and Hyunjin sputtered.

"I- well... I didn't want to sound like a weirdo though I probably do right now." he smiled awkwardly.

"It's fine." you chuckled with a shrug.

The sound of lights being turned off on stage made you jolt a little.

"We need to leave, they're closing up the theater." you said.

"Oh, right." Hyunjin turned as both of you started walking towards the entrance.

"Are you tired?" he asked as you neared the door.

"Not particularly." you said, stuffing your hands into your pockets.

"You wanna grab something to eat?" Hyunjin's heart was jumping around in fear and excitement as he asked that question, but in his mind it was now or never.

You looked at him for a moment before you gave him a smile. Something about him pulled you like a magnet and you couldn't resist.

"Sure. Why not." you said and Hyunjin sighed in relief.

"Good night Y/n, Hyunjin." the lady at the door greeted and both of you chuckled, wishing her a good night too.

The cold air hit you like a sharp slap to the face and you pulled your beanie down, adjusting your coat to keep your neck warm. Hyunjin buried his face in his scarf as you rounded the corner onto the busy street.

"Wanna get some street food?" you asked, not being in the mood to sit at a fancy restaurant and wait for a meal to be cooked. You wanted to be outside in the fresh air, not minding the coldness of it.

"Sure, I feel like walking anyways." Hyunjin nodded and you smiled, making your way towards a hot dog stand.

"Not the healthiest option but I really don't care tonight." you chuckled and Hyunjin agreed, insisting on paying for both of your hot dogs.

The two of you kept walking through the streets, the Christmas lights were everywhere still adding to the atmosphere of coziness even though the actual holiday had passed.

"So, what do you do, Hyunjin?"

"I'm an artist. I know that probably sounds pretentious but I am lucky enough to live from my art." he chuckled before taking a big bite out of his hot dog.

"Oh, that sounds wonderful! What kind of artist?" you asked, your eyes sparkling with all the lights, making Hyunjin's stomach swarm with more butterflies.

"I paint mostly. But I do dabble in other media." he answered. "Right now I'm trying my hand at ceramics. It's just a bunch of weird and failed shapes for now but I think I can get there." he added with a chuckle.

"Sounds fun. I've never tried it."

"You should some time." Hyunjin said, wiping his lips with a napkin and throwing it in the trash. "What do you do when you don't perform?" he added with a curious smile.

"Oh, I teach classes to other dancers. Beginner and advanced, but mostly I deal with beginners. I've been told I'm very patient so I'm usually the one to teach people from scratch."

"Is it fun?" Hyunjin asked as you finished eating too, now ready to wash it down with a drink.

"Some days it is very fun. Some days it's frustrating. But I think it's like that with any job." you shrugged.

"It is, I feel like that too. Sometimes I wake up and just paint the entire day like I'm in some kind of trance whereas some days I can't even hold a brush in my hand." Hyunjin admitted.

"Oh yeah, I've fallen out of the silk many times on bad days. Luckily, we have safety mats so it wasn't too scary. Though I did bruise a few times. I'm used to it." you said, looking around and spotting a bar that looked decent.

"I guess people get used to the hardships." Hyunjin said and you nodded with a small smile.

"Do you wanna grab a drink?" you asked and Hyunjin beamed at you.

"Of course!" neither of you wanted the night to end yet when it was so promising, something sweet hanging in the air above you, making you feel at ease with someone you had practically just met.

The bar was almost completely full and the sound of people chattering was almost louder than the music yet you had managed to find two available spots at the counter.

The last time you were at a place like this brought up some unpleasant memories. But you put them aside, instead focusing on Hyunjin who got redder in the face the more the night went on and the more drinks you shared.

He was more talkative then earlier, giggling and hiccuping from time to time as the two of you talked about any random topic that came to mind.

You couldn't remember the last time you were so at ease with someone as you were in his presence, even though he was basically a stranger.

Well, maybe you couldn't call Hyunjin a stranger anymore, not after sharing a nice evening like this one with him.

But as he got more cheery with each drink, you sank down lower against your own will. Too many memories that were still haunting your dreams were surfacing now, especially in your intoxicated state.

Hyunjin noticed you were getting quieter and less attentive, wondering what has got you feeling like this. His eyes fell to your hand, where you kept rubbing at your ring finger, obviously doing it subconsciously.

"You wanna get out of here?" he leaned closer towards you, his hand sliding on the bar, his fingertips almost touching your elbow where you had leaned on it.

"Yeah." you said with a breath of relief.

After paying for the drinks (you had decided to split the bill), Hyunjin and you made your way outside.

You realized it was past midnight as you made it out, the quietness of the night a welcoming change after the loud bar, the emptiness of the streets like a reward after being surrounded by the crowd of people inside.

"Are you okay?" Hyunjin asked cautiously, swaying on his feet a little.

"I'm fine, just got lost in my thoughts. Sorry about that." you gave him a smile.

What you wanted to say was 'I don't wanna be alone tonight', but for some reason you didn't have to say anything. It's like Hyunjin could read your mind.

"We could take a walk?" he suggested and you nodded quickly, burying your hands in your pockets once again.

The walk was quiet at first, Hyunjin sobered up a little and you felt much better being out of the bar, just walking next to him.

"It's really cold." you shivered.

"It is. I'd suggest we drive around but we've both been drinking so I don't think that's a good idea." Hyunjin shivered too, realizing he almost couldn't feel his face from the cold.

"Nope, definitely not." you said.

Hyunjin contemplated inviting you to his apartment, but it felt too soon. Then he remembered he had the keys to his gallery.

"There's a place we can warm up."

"Oh? Where?" you asked, noticing how Hyunjin stepped closer to you, the warmth of his body radiating towards yours.

"The gallery you come to." he took out a set of keys out of his pocket, dangling them in front of your face with a smile. "I know the owner."

Your brows furrowed but against your better judgement, you went with it.

The gallery wasn't far so the walk was short and mostly silent, the only moment where silence was broken was an abrupt shout from a drunken passerby yelling 'Happy New Year!' to the two of you.

You yelled the good wishes back, chuckling as the man stumbled and his friend caught him, leading him away from your sight, mumbling about him being a lightweight.

You stood in front of the building and Hyunjin took the key out again.

"Are you sure the owner won't be mad we're here after hours?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest and hugging yourself in an attempt to keep warm.

Hyunjin giggled at you as he unlocked the door.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"If you say so." you said quietly as the two of you walked in.

Hyunjin closed and locked the door, grabbing his phone so he can turn on the flashlight.

"There's an office in the back." he led the way, not wanting to turn on the lights lest people think the gallery was open and try to walk in.

"Okay." you said, somehow trusting this man you barely knew.

The office was more cozy than you had expected, full of paintings and knick-knacks, looking more like an art studio than an actual office.

It was spacious and had a nice view on the park outside and a comfortable looking couch.

Hyunjin maneuvered through the multiple empty and half-empty canvases, picking up papers and brushes here and there.

"Sorry about the mess. Make yourself at home, I'll go find some wine." he said and you nodded as you took your coat off. You hung it on a rack where Hyunjin hung his before sitting down and sinking into the couch. Hyunjin had turned the heating on, as well as some low music before coming to join you as he carried a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"You're still shivering." he noticed and you shrugged.

"Until the heating does it's thing, I guess." you chuckled with a shrug.

"I'll bring you a blanket." he offered and you wanted to protest but he was already skipping away.

A few moments later both of you were tucked under the warm blanket after kicking your shoes off. The wine was unlike any you had tried before, it woke up your taste buds and slid easily down your throat. Hyunjin even brought some snacks to go with it and you felt relaxed even when your knees brushed against his slightly.

Hyunjin's cheeks became rosy at the contact as he was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you were sitting here with him, sharing a bottle of wine and talking like you were just some old friends catching up.

"This wine is exquisite." you commented.

"I would hope so, I bought it in Paris and paid a pretty penny for it. I was waiting for a good opportunity to open the bottle." Hyunjin smiled, taking a sip and savoring it.

"And this is a good opportunity?" you chuckled as warmth spread through your body, you were definitely becoming tipsy.

"I deemed it as one." he smiled at you, scooting closer and you got a whiff of his cologne. It was intoxicating and the way he was looking at you felt intimate, like you were two lovers who already knew each other.

"So, Paris. I've never been there." you said.

"I've been multiple times. It's a charming city, though it's not all they make it out to be." Hyunjin said.

"How so?" you asked, not noticing how Hyunjin was now even closer to you, both of you leaning on your elbows. You placed your hand down and Hyunjin's followed yours, right behind it, his fingertips playing with the soft material of your sweater.

"It really shines from afar, as many things do. Once you get there though, the reality slaps you in the face. Lots of streets are really dirty, trash everywhere, lots of rude people. It's just a working, bustling big city like any other. But there is history in its buildings, in its monuments. There's art. The more you go back, the more you crave to be there." Hyunjin explained as you downed your glass, noticing how he was getting dangerously closer to you, his fingers caressing your arm just under your bicep.

"I'd like to see it from my own eyes too, experience the city in its entirety." you tilted your head as your eyes got droopy, a nice buzz appearing inside your head.

"You should go some time. You gotta see Paris at least once in your life." Hyunjin's fingers ran up your bicep slowly.

The air between you became heavier as he stared into your eyes while his fingertips slowly traveled to your shoulder. The tension was palpable as you set your glass aside, inviting him to do the same.

After one last sip, Hyunjin put the glass on the coffee table too, next to the almost empty bottle.

Your breathing got deeper as he touched the side of your neck gently, timidly like he was asking for permission to touch you further.

Your own hand inched closer to his free one, your fingertips touching his. Hyunjin took your hand in his and you noticed just how much bigger his hand was than yours as it almost disappeared inside his. He gently swiped his thumb over your skin as he leaned closer to you.

Your heart was beating hard, on the verge of jumping out, your brain yelling at you and asking you what are you doing, but your body betrayed you as you felt shivers run up your spine and a familiar burning between your legs that you haven't felt in a long time.

Hyunjin was falling apart just the same, a small piece of the stone around his heart breaking and rolling away as you looked at him so sweetly, your eyes giving away your longing and your fear.

He understood. He understood the fear you carried within you as he himself lived with it constantly. So, Hyunjin wanted to savor every second with you, slowly, gently and quietly.

He brought your hand to his lips, gently kissing your knuckles, one by one as you let out a little gasp. He then kissed the top of your hand gently before leaning closer to you again, pressing your palm against his cheek and holding it there.

His other hand held the side of your neck, his fingertips reaching the back of it as he scratched your nape gently.

You wanted to tear away from him and run but he gave you such a feeling of safety, one you almost forgot exists. Hyunjin sensed that you were like a scared animal so he approached you slowly, not wanting to scare you away.

He leaned in, his hot breath hitting your skin before he pressed his lips on your cheek. It was enough to send a wave through your body, one that crashed right in your core.

Hyunjin pressed another kiss into your cheek, then another, and another. You didn't know what to do with yourself as you haven't been this close to someone in a long time so you let your hand fall from his face to his shoulder where you gripped at him.

Hyunjin's lips traveled to your jaw, leaving soft kisses along the line of it towards your ear before coming back to your lips. He looked at you for a moment, fingers tangling in your hair and playing with the strands. You were tongue tied and struggling to breathe as he stared at you intently but softly at the same time.

You didn't say anything so he leaned in again, kissing the corner of your lips before finally pressing his soft lips into yours. You didn't react right away, too shocked while you registered what was happening.

Hyunjin kissed you again so you shut your eyes, moving your lips against his. He tasted of wine and alcohol from the bar and his lips were the softest you'd ever felt against yours. You found yourself hypnotized as you kissed slowly, your warm breaths mingling together as you kept breathing each other in, sharing your air.

Hyunjin's hand on the back of your neck gripped you more firmly as he pressed his lips against yours harder and you grabbed at his sweater with both of your hands, trying to ground yourself somehow, before your body floated away completely.

The slow music, the buzz from the wine and the warmth from Hyunjin's body under the blanket made you feel like you were running a fever. You fell into a rhythm, kissing him and tasting his lips, alternating between having his upper and bottom lip between yours.

Hyunjin felt the heat equally as you did, a rush of blood to his core, making his head spin even faster than it was before. He felt as if he needed you in that moment, just like he needed the air to breathe. Hyunjin's free hand landed on your waist as he licked at your bottom lip, asking for entrance.

You wanted to fight against it but you couldn't, melting into him as you parted your lips. He pushed his tongue in, lapping at yours and tasting you. You were intoxicatingly sweet even though you tasted like alcohol, you had him under your spell and he didn't want to stop.

You bunched his sweater in your hands as he leaned in closer, kissing you harder as his tongue explored your mouth, his hand gripping your waist.

What are you doing?, a voice rang out in your head.

You ignored it and continued kissing Hyunjin, this beautiful and gentle man who had quite literally fallen in front of you tonight, whose name you hadn't known until a few moments after that.

Hyunjin grabbed your face as he kissed you fervently, both of you were now swallowing each other's moans as you had become more desperate with each passing moment.

What are you doing?, the voice asked you again and panic started seeping inside you.

Again, you tried ignoring it as Hyunjin bit on your bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth, his large hands holding your head as his thumbs caressed your cheeks.

He pecked you once, twice, again before he kissed you softly again, his lips slick with spit.

Something nagged at you and you could feel the all consuming fear inside you, almost bringing tears to your eyes.

Quickly, you teared your lips away from Hyunjin's, pushing at his chest as he didn't realize you were pulling away.

"Stop!" you said, your voice breaking as your eyes filled with tears that you tried to blink away.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Hyunjin looked concerned as he gently caressed your cheek.

"No, I need to leave." you said, shaking your head.

"Leave? Now?" he looked confused.

"I'm sorry, it's very late and I just remembered I have something in the morning." you talked as you scrambled to get up and put your shoes on.

Hyunjin knew what you said was a bullshit excuse.

"It's late, stay here. We don't have to kiss if you don't want to. Just... Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." he looked genuinely concerned as you grabbed your coat.

Oh, this sweet man.

"No, no, you didn't. Really. I just have to go." you said, hurriedly making your way out. Hyunjin followed after you as he grabbed the keys.

"Are you sure? I can walk you home at least." he said.

"Don't worry, I'll call a cab." you forced a smile as he unlocked the door reluctantly.

"Will I see you again?" Hyunjin asked, his hand on the door handle.

"Maybe." you whispered as he opened the door.

You didn't even button your coat when you ran out into the snowy night as Hyunjin watched your figure disappear, his fingertips pressed against his lips where he could still taste you.

What did he do wrong? He had no idea why you would suddenly run out on him. The melancholy he felt earlier was back, eating away at him as once again he was left alone.

It's been three weeks since you had seen Hyunjin. You felt stupid and embarrassed for running out like that as soon as you sobered up, wanting the earth to swallow you up after you realized how dumb your excuse sounded.

What bugged you the most was the look on Hyunjin's face as you left. He looked so blue but at the same time, it seemed like there was a flicker of something familiar, like it happened before.

You couldn't wipe that look of his out of your mind. So, you decided to finally go to the gallery, hoping to run into him or someone who knows where he is.

You had no performances scheduled for these past few weeks so you knew you wouldn't run into him at the theater, though you weren't even sure that he'd come see you after the way you left things last time.

It was snowing outside again so you hurried up, almost slipping on the ice that had formed on the sidewalk as you gripped at the door handle.

A new exhibition was adorning the walls and you looked around, seeing no one but a few people just looking at the paintings. As your eyes scanned the room, you noticed all the paintings had something in common.

They were all scratched with angry black circles. No matter what the actual painting underneath showed, the black void was covering it. You gulped as you went from painting to painting, the beautiful colors and brush strokes were all drowned under the the ugly scribbles.

There was one single painting in the corner that wasn't scribbled on and as soon as you saw what it was, your heart stopped.

It was a bottle of wine, and not just any wine, it was the one Hyunjin and you had shared that night coupled with half empty glasses on the table. There was a quote scribbled next to the bottle on the table and it said 'Les étoiles ne peuvent briller sans l'obscurité'. You stared at it as your eyes watered, quickly turning around and leaving out of the gallery with hurried steps as you yanked the door open.

You had just missed Hyunjin as he walked out of the office, his head lifting up from the papers he was looking at only to see the doors closing as you already rounded the street.

-

It has been four weeks since Hyunjin had last seen you, not that he counted. You had a performance at the theater and he stood in front of the poster, seeing you with your bright smile and sparkly clothes, shaping yourself together with the silk. Thoughts started swirling in his mind.

Two years ago

When his partner left him, Hyunjin moped around his apartment, not eating, not sleeping. Everything seemed dull and dark, even painting didn't lift his spirits up. Any time he picked up a piece of paper, it would end up crumpled and thrown wherever. The entire apartment was a mess, but Hyunjin's heart was even a bigger mess.

Something nagged at him to get out of the apartment, the place filled with memories of them laughing together, sharing kisses, being happy. Of the cold look his former lover had on their face as they left him.

Hyunjin dressed warm, burying himself in his coat as he left the apartment. He walked around aimlessly, all the couples holding hands and smiling at each other just adding to his loneliness.

Then he saw it, a poster on the theater wall.

'Aerial silk goddess, y/n! Tonight at 8pm.'

Something pulled him to the beautiful shape he saw in the picture so he randomly walked into the theater and bought the ticket.

Hyunjin had never seen something like this live and seeing you perform had him at the edge of his seat. You were ethereal and breathtaking, moving so beautifully that he wished he didn't have to blink so he didn't miss even a milisecond of watching you. There was something in your movement that had mesmerized him, the way you controlled your body and the silk, how brave you must be to lift yourself up so high and know how to twist and turn so you don't fall.

That night, Hyunjin had finally painted.

Present time

Hyunjin didn't want to let you slip away. Maybe you had shared but one evening together, but there was something untangible between you. Hyunjin had never kissed someone he just met, usually he'd take his time due to his shyness and his cautiousness, but you were an exception. It's like he couldn't help his lips gravitating towards yours.

It seemed that his heart was beating in his stomach as he rushed into the theater, almost knocking someone over and apologizing quickly.

"Good evening, Hyunjin." the older lady at the entrance smiled.

"Evening, Lena." Hyunjin greeted back.

"Here's your ticket." she said.

"Thank you." he paid and rushed upstairs to the gallery.

His leg was bouncing up and down as he waited for the performance to start and as soon as the curtain opened and his eyes fell on you, it was as if his soul was at peace. All the worries and difficulties would disappear ever since that first time he saw you dance until now, even after you walked out. It didn't matter. Hyunjin wasn't going to give up easily, he never did, he was a fighter.

When you finished, Hyunjin quickly got up and rounded the building, waiting for you at the back door and hoping this time you'd come out there and not the front door.

His intuition was right as the door opened and you walked out, stopping in your tracks when you saw him.

"Hyunjin!" you exclaimed, your eyes wide.

"Hey. Came to see you perform, I couldn't miss it." he said as the two of you walked closer to each other.

"Oh." your face softened. "Thank you." you paused. "Look, I'm really sorry for last time, I shouldn't have run out like that in the middle of everything."

"It's okay, maybe you can make it up to me tonight? I mean, we don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. We can take a walk?" Hyunjin suggested, playing with the end of his scarf nervously.

"Sure, I'd like that." you smiled and just like that everything was falling into place. The two of you started walking the same path as you did the last time.

"I went to see the last exhibition in the gallery." you broke the comfortable silence between you.

"Oh... you did?" Hyunjin swallowed with a nervous smile.

"H.H. The initials. It's you, you're the painter and the owner of the gallery." you said, turning to look at him.

"I am. Sorry for not telling you earlier." he gave you a small smile.

"I understand, you want to stay anonymous." you chuckled. "But the paintings...They were very dark. Except the one with the wine bottle..." you trailed off.

"Ugh, don't mind it. Painting is a way to get my thoughts and emotions out. I'm fine, really." Hyunjin smiled though it didn't reach his eyes completely.

"Stars can't shine without darkness." you quoted the french writing that was on his painting, and Hyunjin looked at you wistfully.

"But aren't the stars so beautiful and worth it?" he asked.

"They are." you said as both of you stopped walking, shivers running up your spine.

"Are you cold?" Hyunjin asked and you nodded.

"Wanna go for a drive?"

"Yeah, let's do it." you said and Hyunjin led you to his car that was parked near the gallery.

After unlocking the car, Hyunjin opened the door for you and you got into the passenger seat, buckling up as he got in too. Hyunjin turned the heating on and blasted some music for the atmosphere as he pulled out of the parking lot.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence as Hyunjin drove the half-empty roads and you stared out the window at the city passing you by, your thumb rubbing at your ring finger again.

As he pulled up to a red light, Hyunjin noticed the movement and wondered again why you were doing that.

"I'm kinda hungry. Are you?" he asked after turning the music down.

"Yeah. We can go to a drive through?" you suggested, noticing it was getting really late and everything was probably closed by now.

He agreed and you ended up getting some junk food, with Hyunjin finding a nice quiet spot to park at with the view of the city and the stars.

"We can get in the backseat." he had suggested and your heart skipped a beat.

"Sure." you nodded, noticing the redness of his cheeks.

Both of you had shed your coats, leaving them up front as you got cozy, Hyunjin turned a light on and the car was heated up enough for the two of you to relax and enjoy your meal.

"I didn't think I'd be eating junk food in the back of a car on a Friday night but here we are." you chuckled, making Hyunjin giggle too.

"I mean, it's a new experience for me too." he said.

"You must be such a forgiving person." you said after a moment of silence.

"Why do you say that?" Hyunjin asked, taking a bite out of his cheeseburger.

"Well, I feel like I insulted you with the way I acted last time. It's just... it's been a while for me. I panicked and overreacted." you explained.

"I figured as much. Actually, it's been a long time for me too." Hyunjin smiled understandingly. "Two years to be exact."

"Three for me." you added with a chuckle.

"Okay, so we're both a bit rusty and it's okay to make mistakes. There's more than one chance, right?" Hyunjin looked at you, his eyes sparkling with a hopeful glint.

"There is." you said quietly.

It dawned on you just then that you were sitting in the backseat of his car in the middle of nowhere and your stomach did somersaults.

Hyunjin felt the same, he was sweating from nerves, having you in his car, so close to him where no one could bother the two of you.

When you finished with your food and drinks, Hyunjin put all the trash in the big bag, getting out of the car to throw it in the can.

The whiff of cold air that reached you in that moment was refreshing as you took a deep breath and waited for him to come back.

"Woo, cold!" Hyunjin practically slid back in, closing the door loudly behind him and you chuckled at his antics.

"It's warm in here." you scooted closer to him.

"Yeah, it is. It can get even warmer." he gave you a little smirk, his hand reaching to touch yours.

"I bet." you whispered as the two of you leaned in.

"Just before we do anything, don't feel pressured. Stop me any time and I'll drive you home instantly." Hyunjin said as he grabbed your hand, entwining your fingers and playing with them.

"Okay." you nodded, squeezing his hand.

Hyunjin used his free hand to guide your face towards his. You melted instantly and even though you had tasted him only once before, you missed the feeling of his lips against yours. You got as close to him as you could and Hyunjin put his hands on your waist, holding you gently.

You placed your hands on his neck, pushing him harder against you, making him gasp into your mouth. Your fingers played with the hair on the back of his neck as he pushed his tongue into your mouth, and you welcomed him. His kisses were getting desperate, as were his hands, moving up and down your waist, lifting your sweater up a little.

When you broke apart for air, you noticed a pretty mole on the side of his neck so you pressed your lips into it and Hyunjin gripped at you, a gasp escaping his lips. His neck was sensitive, you noted in your head, so you started pressing more kisses above the mole, up towards his jaw.

Hyunjin's breathing got deeper, his fingertips sliding under your shirt. You leaned back to look at him, his eyes were hooded with lust, probably mirroring yours. You threw your leg over his thighs, sitting in his lap and Hyunjin moaned quietly when you pressed yourself closer to him.

"Please. Kiss my neck more." he begged, throwing his head back as he squeezed your hips.

How could you deny him when he looked so pretty giving himself to you?

You let your lips wander all over his neck, Hyunjin moaned and gasped as you kissed and nipped at his skin. His hands slid under your shirt and you pressed your core into his, making both of you moan. Even under the layers of warm winter clothes you could feel him straining against his jeans.

You kept kissing and biting at his neck as Hyunjin moaned quietly, his hips moving up into yours. You felt like some school girl making out with your crush, almost chuckling at yourself.

The fears and doubts you felt last time were still gnawing at you but you knew you weren't doing anything wrong. Though a piece of your heart would always remain taken, you could give the rest of it.

"Hey, fun trick." Hyunjin smirked as he caressed your lower back, fingertips dipping down to the swell of your ass.

"What?" you looked at him confusedly.

"The seats go down." he said, still smirking as he reached somewhere under the seat, and they fell down quickly making both of you topple over as you squealed in surprise.

Hyunjin started to laugh and you couldn't help but laugh with him. He looked at you with sparkly eyes and the sweetest smile ever and your heart skipped a beat.

"I don't usually do this." you said, needing to clarify that.

"Me neither." he breathed out as his big hands roamed all over your back.

"I'm nervous." you admitted and Hyunjin giggled.

"If it helps, I'm a nervous wreck too." he said before turning you over slowly, so he was on top.

"It helps." you whispered as your breath got knocked out of your lungs.

Hyunjin looked at you for a moment, his hand caressing your head and playing with your hair before he leaned in and kissed you gently, playing with your tongue.

The kiss was sloppy and messy, your teeth collided a few times but neither of you gave a damn. Hyunjin's hands became more curious, dipping under your shirt to touch your stomach and your waist.

You arched into him and he took that as a sign to continue, his hands sliding up to cup your breasts.

"Mm." he whined against your lips as he started massaging them, his thumbs rolling over your sensitive nipples. You were glad you put on only a flimsy bra you usually wore after a performance.

Hyunjin seemed to appreciate it too, his fingers dipping into it to touch your skin directly. He detached his lips from yours and you chased them, making him chuckle lowly as he leaned in and started kissing your jaw.

His lips traveled down to your neck as he kissed you hungrily just like you had kissed him. His tongue lapped at your skin, his hands still playing with your chest and you couldn't help the little moans escaping your lips.

You got so wet just from kissing him, touch starved and longing for more. Your legs fell open and Hyunjin noticed, his cock twitching painfully inside his pants.

"Can I mark you?" he asked, his eyes darkened as he stared at you, fingertips caressing your neck.

"Yes." you said breathlessly and Hyunjin licked at your skin before sinking his teeth into your sensitive spot.

"Ah!" you gasped, gripping at his upper back, digging your nails into him. Hyunjin's hand slowly slid towards your pants as he sucked a love bite into your skin.

His hand stopped at your navel as he kissed your collarbone, his fingers dipping a bit under your pants.

"Can I, please?" he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours.

"Yes, yes." you nodded quickly and Hyunjin pecked your lips softly a few times as he unbuttoned your pants.

He nosed your cheek before leaving gentle kisses everywhere on your face as his hand slid lower towards your warmth. He kissed your neck again as his fingers inched closer to where you needed him the most. Hyunjin leaned back to look at your face when he pressed his finger into your clit.

You gasped, arching into his touch, your eyes fluttering. He bit on his lip as he watched your reaction, drinking in your pretty face, flushed with arousal and want. He circled the bud with his fingertips while you moaned quietly, your hands pushing under his sweater and the shirt he had underneath it.

His skin was hot under your palms, the softness of it inviting you to touch him more. Hyunjin reveled in your touch, melting as his fingertips dipped between your clothed folds.

"You're so wet." Hyunjin licked at his lips as he touched you gently, coaxing more arousal out of you.

You looked at him as your face burned, embarrassment seeping in but you ignored it, letting your hands slide on his body, exploring his firm abs. You could feel his stomach quivering as soon as you ran your hands there, playing with his happy trail that lead to his core.

Hyunjin cupped your breast with his free hand, pulling your bra down and playing with your nipple as he pushed his hand into your panties, touching your pussy without anything covering it. You clenched around nothing immediately, your hands working to unbutton his pants.

You looked at him, his eyes were narrowed and full of lust but there was something soft still inside them.

"Touch me, darling." he breathed out as you hesitated. You pushed your hand in his underwear, clenching around nothing again when you felt just how big and hard he was, dripping pre cum in your palm, throbbing to be touched by you.

Hyunjin whined at the restricted movements, pulling his hand out of your pants just to slide them down. Your face instantly flushed in embarrassment when you remembered the panties you wore today.

Hyunjin looked down and giggled at your pink panties that said 'Finally Friday!'.

"That's so cute." he laughed and you smacked his arm.

"Shut up." you whined, covering your face. "I didn't think you'd be stripping me tonight." your voice was muffled behind your palms.

"I was hoping I would." he teased and you smacked his arm again, making him chuckle.

"It's okay, I'm wearing pjs under my sweater." Hyunjin took his sweater off, revealing a short sleeved shirt with a cartoon dog sleeping on it.

You started giggling and Hyunjin's face flushed like yours.

"Laugh all you want, it's the most comfortable t-shirt that I own."

"It's cute." you said, grabbing the back of his neck, your fingertips caressing him and playing with his hair.

Hyunjin smiled as he leaned in to kiss you, his hands sliding on your stomach and lifting your sweater up. You let him take it off, your hands tugging at his cute pjs. He chuckled and took it off too and you almost had a heart attack.

You knew he was handsome but you had no idea his body was this perfect. You had an urge to kiss and worship every inch of his skin. Hyunjin's heart started beating fast under your mesmerized gaze.

"What?" he chuckled nervously.

"You're beautiful." you said and he chuckled again.

"Says you." he smirked, his hands on your shoulders as he slowly slid your bra straps down. You unhooked it and took it off, watching Hyunjin's reaction as he licked his lips, staring at your chest with blown pupils.

He leaned in and started kissing your collarbone, your skin hot against his lips as he reveled in the softness and sweet scent of you. He kissed the swell of your breasts before licking at your nipple and taking it in his mouth.

You whimpered, arching into him instantly and he closed his eyes while he sucked on your breast, his hand sliding down to your panties again. Hyunjin hooked his fingers into the end of them and you lifted your middle so he could take them off.

As soon as they were off, your hands were back on his pants and Hyunjin moaned around you as he looked up at you. He leaned back and took his jeans off together with his boxers, making you drool instantly.

"Oh."

"I hope that was a good 'oh'." he said with a cute smile gracing his face, his eyes filling up with innocence for a moment.

"More than good." you smirked, wrapping your hand around his heavy cock. Hyunjin exhaled loudly, his brows furrowing and his body shivering when you slid your thumb against his slit.

"Fuck. I'm probably gonna cum fast, I'm sorry." he chuckled awkwardly, shutting his eyes tightly.

"Me too." you giggled and he looked at you, his face softening.

"Oh, I know darling. I'll make sure you do." Hyunjin said lowly, his hands sliding on your inner thighs, making you open your legs more. Being flexible came in handy as you were spread completely for him and Hyunjin's cock twitched at the sight.

Hyunjin's fingers slid against your wet folds, teasing you with his fingertips dipping between and then coming back up to play with your clit. You felt like you were burning up slowly as you teased his slit, smearing the beads of pre cum on his tip.

He took in shaky breaths as you touched him, sliding your hand down to grip him, making his hips jolt into your hand.

"Y/n." he breathed out as he massaged your clit in circles, pressing his fingers harder into it.

"Hyunjin." you moaned, slowly moving your hand and he bit on his lip as he closed his eyes and threw his head back.

"Say my name again." he groaned and you whimpered out his name as he pressed his finger against your folds.

He looked down at you, needing to see your face when he pushed it inside you. You gasped, moaning at the feeling of his long finger touching you where you hadn't been touched in so long other than by yourself.

Hyunjin fucked you slowly, in the same rhythm as you moved your hand around his cock, watching every twitch of your lips, every flicker of fire inside your eyes, every time your brows furrowed, every time your lips parted in a gasp.

His other hand was on your breast, playing with your nipple and squeezing as your free hand landed on his bicep, gripping onto it for purchase.

You leaned up to kiss his collarbone as you flicked your wrist and moved your hand faster and Hyunjin melted, moaning as he slid his finger out.

"One more?" he pressed two of his fingers against you and you nodded quickly.

"Please." you whimpered and he pushed in, eliciting another gasp out of you.

Hyunjin matched your pace, driving you crazy and making your hand stutter for a moment before you regained control of it. You were determined to make him feel good as he was determined to satisfy you. He found your sweet spot when you moaned loudly, saying 'right there!' so he fucked you faster as you gripped the back of his neck and pulled him in closer, kissing him desperately.

Your tongues entwined in a passionate kiss, as you brought each other closer to ecstasy. The air inside Hyunjin's car became so hot that it was hard to breathe, as both of you moaned and kissed, not caring about spit and the sweat forming on your bodies. Hyunjin couldn't help himself as he rutted into your hand all the while driving you insane with his pretty fingers. The wet sounds of your pussy and his cock were making you feel even more aroused, your legs shaking as you felt your orgasm building up.

"I'm close!" you whimpered.

"Me too. Cum for me, darling." Hyunjin groaned, leaning his forehead against yours and kissing your face as he fucked your brains out with just his fingers.

"Mm, yes!" you whimpered, twitching against his hand as you came and squirted all over your thighs and the seat.

Hyunjin gasped, quickly pulling his fingers out so he could grab his cock, letting your hand rest for a moment as he tugged on it a few times only to explode on your clenching pussy, his cum landing in spurts all over your core, inner thighs and navel.

"Fuck." he groaned, collapsing on top of you, neither of you caring about all the stickiness.

Hyunjin buried his face in your neck as you wrapped your arms and legs around him, one of your hands buried in his hair and the other gently caressing his back. His hand was resting on your breast, squeezing occasionally as the two of you slowly came down from your high.

You were so wrapped up in him, the weight of his body on yours, his warmth, his soft skin, his spent cock resting on your inner thigh, his breath tickling your neck. You hadn't felt this close to someone in years and your eyes welled up with tears. Hyunjin laid blissfully against you, his heart beating fast in tandem with yours, he smiled as he pressed his lips gently into one of the marks he had left on your skin.

When you sniffled, Hyunjin was alarmed and looked up at you instantly to find you crying.

"Y/n, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?" he panicked immediately and you shook your head.

"No, it's just... This is embarrassing. But I think I was really touch starved." you admitted and Hyunjin smiled at you softly as he wiped your tears away.

"Well, I am too. It's okay." he said, kissing your cheeks.

You held him tighter against your body, your lips sliding down his neck again where you found his sensitive spot and sank your teeth into it. Hyunjin whimpered, his limp cock twitching against you.

You sucked until a pretty purple bruise appeared on his soft skin, kissing it a few times as he breathed deeply.

"I'm sorry if I ruined the mood with my crying."

"You didn't ruin anything." he smiled, this sweet, beautiful and gentle man and your heart kept fluttering as you gently touched each other everywhere, curiously exploring each other's bodies.

"I just..." you started and Hyunjin could see you were struggling.

"You don't have to explain anything. Just tell me when you're ready." he said, kissing your forehead.

"Are you even real?" you asked with a smile and he laughed, his face becoming so red and adorable.

"I am." he smirked and kissed you hard to prove the point.

You didn't think you could love again but now a flicker of hope was starting to burn within you. Hyunjin held you in his arms like you were his entire world, caressing you gently as you kept touching his soft skin. Somehow, you dosed off while he kept you warm.

"Y/n."

"Huh?" you blinked confusedly until Hyunjin's face materialized in front of you, realizing he had pulled his coat over your body, his arms still wrapped around you and your legs tangled together.

"The sun will be up soon. You wanna get dressed and watch the sunrise?" he whispered and you smiled tiredly at him.

"Yeah." you nodded.

The two of you spent a few minutes trying to find all your clothing and Hyunjin found a water bottle so you could get hydrated.

As soon as you were wrapped up in your coats, you finally left the car and walked outside.

The crisp morning air was very much welcomed after the stuffy atmosphere inside the car that you had created. You took in a deep breath as Hyunjin left the doors open and came closer to you, leading you to the front of his car.

He leaned on the hood, pulling your body into his and holding you flush against him, your back pressed into his front. The first rays of sunshine were brightening up the sky as he held you tightly.

His lips brushed against your ear before he spoke.

"Si tu pouvais lire dans mon coeur, tu verrais la place où je t'ai mise." Hyunjin whispered and you giggled as his breath tickled your skin.

"I don't know what you just said but it sounds romantic." you said and he chuckled.

"It is." he smirked as you looked back at him.

"You're not gonna tell me what it means, are you?"

"Nope." he answered, his cheeks rosy.

"I had to google translate that quote on the painting." you shook your head and Hyunjin chuckled.

"Look at it this way; you're learning a new language." he said with a smug smirk, making you giggle.

The next few moments you enjoyed the comfortable silence and the warmth of his body pressed against yours as the sun slowly came out. You couldn't believe you had welcomed the dawn with Hyunjin, the images of the two of you in his car stuck in your mind, making your body react instantly as your face heated up, your heart beating fast and your core throbbing.

"I don't wanna go home yet." Hyunjin said, pressing a kiss to your jaw.

"Me neither. We could get breakfast?" you suggested and Hyunjin smiled, his eyes warm and hypnotizing as he looked at you sweetly, the sun adding to his shine.

"I like the way you think." he said with a smile as you turned around in his arms.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he pressed your body into his, staring into your eyes. You leaned in and kissed him as the sun warmed up your back. Hyunjin kissed you like his life depended on it and when you tried to pull away, he cradled your head in his hands and kept kissing you until you were breathless.

"Let's go, I'm starving." he said when you parted and you agreed.

Hyunjin drove and put some music on, singing along at first absentmindedly until you giggled so he turned to you occasionally and sang dramatically, making a show of it.

"You know it's like not even 7am?" you laughed at him.

"I know but I didn't sleep so I'm wired." he chuckled, turning the music down.

"What did you do while I slept?" you asked as he pulled up to a red light.

"I enjoyed your presence." he smirked, grabbing your hand and kissing it. "Give me a kiss before it turns on." he motioned to the light and you leaned in with a chuckle, pecking his lips before he kept driving.

Hyunjin found the closest diner and the two of you spent the early morning hours together, a warm cup of coffee and a stack of pancakes being the perfect ending to a beautiful outing.

Somehow, Hyunjin made it easy to forget about everything, to just have a good time and enjoy the moment you were in. You didn't want to part from him but you had work in the afternoon and you needed some sleep so you don't fall and injure yourself while instructing the other dancers.

It was close to 9am when you walked out of the diner.

"I'll drive you home if you want." Hyunjin said with a little sigh and a sweet smile still etched on his face.

"Sure." you nodded.

You were crashing by then, really wanting to catch up on some sleep, not even the coffee helped wake you up.

"This is where I live." you pointed to Hyunjin as he pulled up in front of your building.

He leaned back on his seat, his head resting on it as he looked at you with a look of pure infatuation, the lovesick look you recognized very well.

"Well, this was wonderful. I don't remember the last time I did something like this." Hyunjin said.

"Probably high school." you said and he giggled.

"Definitely." he shivered thinking of those times. "When can I see you again?" he asked with a hopeful look in his eyes.

"I'm free on Sunday." you said and he smiled, relief flashing in his eyes.

"You wanna come to my place?" he bit on his lip, looking you up and down, making your heart skip a beat. "I kinda suck at cooking but it would be fun to make dinner together?"

"Sure. I'd like that." you said, your cheeks warming up.

"I live above the gallery so you know where to find me." Hyunjin's hand found yours, playing with your fingers as he looked at you sweetly.

"6pm sound good?" you asked.

"Perfect." he whispered and leaned in.

You met him in the middle, kissing gently and softly as the world melted away around you.

"See you Sunday." you said as you walked out of his car, giving him a little wave.

"À bientôt, ma chérie." Hyunjin whispered to himself as he watched you enter your building.

Sunday couldn't come soon enough for Hyunjin. He was practically vibrating the entire night on Saturday, tossing and turning in his bed as he kept thinking about you, flipping image after image in his mind, of the last time and how it will be this time.

You weren't any better, a kind of excitement building up inside you and making you squeal into your pillow. You never thought you'd feel like this again, not after what happened three years ago. You pushed all those thoughts in the back of your mind and focused on Hyunjin, his kisses and touches, his warm eyes and cute smile.

Both of you had sweet dreams that night.

-

It was a colder evening as it snowed again and Hyunjin waited next to his window so he can see you come out of the cab and come get you.

He played some slow melancholy music that was creating a warm mood inside his apartment and with his heart beating fast in anticipation to see you, Hyunjin thought the city never looked as romantic as it did tonight.

He observed the falling snowflakes melting into the ground around all the people who walked hurriedly on the street. Yes, it was cold and dark but to Hyunjin every little snowflake danced beautifully just like you did, twirling in your silk like you were some ethereal being.

As soon as the cab pulled up, Hyunjin ran off to grab his jacket and meet you downstairs, almost tripping over his own feet on the way there.

You lifted your head when you heard a door opening and a breathless Hyunjin appeared in front of you, a toothy smile spreading on his face instantly.

"Hey, handso-" you were about to compliment him, but Hyunjin had already gripped the back of your neck and crashed his lips on yours, knocking the breath out of your lungs.

You grabbed at his jacket, pulling him closer as he kissed you like his life depended on it.

"Oh." you inhaled the cold air when you parted.

"Missed you." Hyunjin pressed his forehead against yours and your face started burning like a forest fire.

"Already?" you chuckled.

"Didn't you miss me?" he pouted cutely as he held your face.

"I missed you too." you said and he smiled, kissing you again.

"Let's get inside." he shivered as he grabbed your hand and led you inside the building.

You were interested to see how he decorated his apartment, being an artist and all and you were not surprised to see that it was a creative mess.

"Sorry if it's messy, I'm always painting or doing something so everything ends up everywhere." Hyunjin noticed you were looking around.

"No, I like it. It's... eccentric." you smirked and he laughed shyly.

"Thank you." he said.

"What happened to that wall?" you pointed at one of the walls in his kitchen that had messy paint streaks on it.

"Well. That was a few years ago when I was frustrated because I didn't have any inspiration to paint so the wall was the victim of my frustrations." Hyunjin explained as he grabbed a bottle of wine.

"Did it get you out of the slump?" you asked curiously.

"Not really. Something else did." he smiled, his eyes sparkly. "Wanna start with some wine?"

"Sure." you nodded.

"This is Muscat d'Alsace, it goes perfectly with what I planned out for dinner." Hyunjin smiled as he poured the wine. "I fell in love with it when I traveled to the Alsace region in France. It's a wonderful blend of German and French culture and food." he added before swirling the liquid and smelling it, prompting you to do the same.

He took a sip and you followed, the fruity taste and the subtle floral note landing nicely on your tongue.

"It's wonderful." you said and Hyunjin chuckled.

"I'm glad you like it." he said.

"What are we cooking?" you asked.

"To go with the theme of Alsace I wanted us to make tarte flambée but it's not the same if you don't have a wood-burning oven with a stone floor which I obviously don't own. So we can make bacon, cheddar and onion quiche as a substitute."

"Sounds good to me." you smiled and Hyunjin came closer to you.

"Are you hungry, ma chérie?" he smirked, his eyes narrowing. "Cause I'm very very hungry." he pulled his lip between his teeth as he looked at you like you were the most delicious meal ever.

"Oh, I'm hungry too. I'll even have room for dessert." you smirked back at him, your hand sliding from his wrist slowly up to his shoulder.

Hyunjin's eyes fluttered for a moment as he sucked in a breath. It was obvious that even the littlest touch drove him insane. He was drawn to you like a moth to a flame and you felt him pulling you in more and more with every second you spent with him.

He kissed you slowly, sensually as his hands landed on your waist, fingers splayed and tickling you lightly. You caressed his face, melting into his sweet lips.

"We better get started if we want to get to that dessert quickly." he winked at you and you chuckled, your face becoming red.

Hyunjin pulled up the recipe on the internet and sifted through his kitchen to take out everything you'll need. You put your hair up so it doesn't annoy you while you cook and Hyunjin stopped in his tracks immediately as you organized the groceries.

"Ah!" you squealed in surprise when you felt his arms wrapping around your middle. His lips followed, pressing on the back of your neck gently, his hot breath making goosebumps rise on your skin.

"Qui t'a donc fait si jolie, tu me rends fou..." he whispered before kissing you again, right where you were most sensitive.

You turned putty immediately, grabbing at his hands that were holding you tightly.

"Hyunjin..." you had no idea what he said but it could've been a love spell as you kept falling deeper into him, becoming a fool with a crush or maybe something more.

"Sorry, I'll stop distracting you." he pressed a little kiss to your shoulder and you giggled, almost telling him that no, he shouldn't stop and he should keep distracting you.

The two of you then fell into small talk as you cooked together, taking sips of the sweet wine, the sound of laughter filling up the space. Both of you hadn't felt like this in a long time and Hyunjin was happy that his apartment seemed brighter the moment you walked in.

"Now we wait for it to bake." Hyunjin put the quiche into the oven as you leaned on the counter, taking another sip of the Alsace wine.

"How long?"

"10 minutes." Hyunjin came to you, wrapping around you again. His lips were on your face instantly, kissing your cheeks and jaw. You chuckled as he pressed his body into yours, your hands tangling in his hair while your lips attached to his.

"I love this music." Hyunjin whispered, swaying a little and pulling you with him.

"Is this John Coltrane?" you asked and Hyunjin chuckled in delight.

"It is. From his album Ballads, first song." he smiled as he leaned his cheek on yours and the two of you started slow dancing. Something stirred up in your stomach and your chest, you almost felt like throwing up or screaming with excitement while the two of you enjoyed the slow, intimate moment.

The world quite literally disappeared and nothing mattered but the two of you. You could love again, you were becoming more and more sure of it.

Hyunjin kept kissing you and holding you during the 10 minutes before you had to take out the quiche. His hands never left you even while you waited for it too cool down a little.

"Oh. This is amazing." you said after tasting it.

"We did it together." he smiled. "It's very close to tarte flambée, but one day hopefully you can try the original thing."

"I hope so too." you said and the two of you continued eating.

After dinner, you helped clean up and Hyunjin took you to his room where he had a working space for painting.

"When I said earlier that something else got me out of that slump... it was you." Hyunjin admitted, his cheeks red.

"Me?" your eyes widened.

"Please, don't be creeped out." Hyunjin sighed as he took out a few canvases, all of them having one thing in common - you and your silk.

"Wow." you let out a chuckle.

"You inspired me a lot. You're my muse." he said, his hand on your cheek.

"I am?" you asked and he nodded as the two of you sat down on his bed, still holding yout glasses of wine, the last drops left from the bottle.

"Two years ago I went through a bad breakup. It left my heart completely shattered, so much so I thought I'd never paint or love again. But then I accidentally went to the theater and saw you perform. You looked unreal, you still do whenever you dance, even when you just sit here in front of me, y/n." Hyunjin said and your heart started beating faster. "I started painting again after seeing you performing, showing your art to the world."

"Hyunjin, that's so sweet." you swooned and he giggled.

"It is?" his brows shot up and you nodded quickly.

"Mhm. Adorable." you smirked, putting your glass on the nightstand as well as Hyunjin's. His lips parted as you turned back around to look at him, your eyes filling up with lust and hunger.

You grabbed his face, kissing him as you sat in his lap. Hyunjin's hands landed on your hips immediately as he pulled you closer to his body, hands sliding to your ass as he gripped at you.

You kissed until you had to part for breath all the while Hyunjin grabbed at your ass and hips.

"You're so addicting, darling." he looked at you with hooded eyelids.

"You are too." you said, placing your palms against his chest and pushing him down.

Hyunjin gasped as he let himself fall, his hands on either side of his head as he looked up at you sweetly. You leaned over him, moving some hair out of his face as he blinked at you.

"So pretty." you praised him and he reveled in your words and your touch as you slid your hand on his neck down to his chest and navel then back up again, brushing against his nipples.

Hyunjin started breathing harder the more you touched him, your hands dipping under his shirt. He kept looking at you as your hands explored his soft skin, his abs, his waist to his chest as you started playing with his nipples. Hyunjin whimpered quietly, his hands clenched into fists as he lifted his hips into yours. You could feel he was getting excited already.

You slowly started grinding against him as you pinched his nipples, making Hyunjin groan while he matched your pace.

"Y/n." he whimpered, his hands gripping at your thighs.

"Hyunjin." you placed your hands on his neck and his eyes fluttered as he leaned into your touch.

It was incredibly sexy to see such a beautiful man giving himself to you so eagerly.

You stopped your movements just to leave kisses on his neck and collarbone, taking your time to press your lips into every beauty mark you could find. You took his shirt off and continued kissing his chest as he wrapped his arms around you and closed his eyes.

He opened them when you brushed your lips against his nipple before pressing your tongue against it and playing with him.

"Mm, darling." Hyunjin whined, arching into you, his hands going up and down on your back, moving more desperately with each swipe of your tongue.

You kissed down to his stomach as he kept shivering against you, his hand caressing your head. You looked up at him as you placed your lips on his happy trail and Hyunjin gasped a little, his dick twitching in his pants.

"Oh god." he groaned when you licked at the happy trail before pressing a kiss to his clothed tip. "Please."

You smirked, leaning back and unbuttoning his pants. You slid them down, looking at his cock almost bursting out of his boxers. Hyunjin watched your hand as you gripped him through his underwear before palming him shortly.

"Fuck." he cursed, pushing into your hand as he tried desperately to get any kind of friction.

"Don't worry, I'll make you feel good." you whispered, hooking your fingers in his boxers and pulling them down. Hyunjin whined as his cock slapped his stomach, shutting his eyes tightly when you giggled in delight.

"Mm, do what you want darling." he groaned.

You pressed your finger into his slit, smearing the pre cum and teasing him as he opened his eyes and whined. You slid between his legs, leaning down and pressing your lips to his inner thighs, your free hand gently fondling his balls as your other massaged his tip.

"Ah, fuck!" Hyunjin's hips jerked, his thighs trembling while you stimulated him. "Keep going." he begged, his hand tangling in your hair, the other gripping at the sheet beneath him.

Your lips came closer to his cock and his breath hitched as you pressed them on the base of it. He leaned up a little to look at you and you smirked at him, wanting to worship him and tease him all at once. He looked so adorable with his face flushed and his eyebrows furrowed, lips swollen and his legs spread. You pressed gentle kisses into his cock, following the vein to the tip as you slowly traveled up, making him twitch every time you touched him. Hyunjin gasped quietly as you licked at the vein before dipping your tongue into his slit, tasting the salty pre cum and then swirling your tongue around the head.

"Oh god." Hyunjin groaned again as he gripped at your hair. You whimpered quietly, your eyes fluttering as you wrapped your lips around his tip. "Sweet girl." he moaned, ruining the little makeshift bun you had from when the two of you were cooking.

That spurred you on so you slid down, taking more of him in and enjoying his taste and the heaviness of him on your tongue. You gripped the base as you squeezed his balls lightly, sucking on him harder and Hyunjin's hips jerked up involuntarily.

A string of curses left his lips as he pulled on your hair. You moaned around him, sucking on him faster and enjoying the pretty moans that were falling out of his mouth. You wanted to hear more of him, you wanted to drive him crazy, have him shiver against your face while you milked him dry.

Hyunjin started shivering the faster you went, using your hands, your lips and tongue to bring him to the edge. He thrashed against the bed, hips lifting up into you and making you gag around him as he fisted the sheets.

"I- I can't!" he moaned out but you didn't stop.

Hyunjin moaned desperately as he exploded, filling your mouth up with his warm cum as you swallowed every last drop, overstimulating him a little until you were sure he was completely limp.

"Fucking hell." he let out a chuckle of disbelief. "You did so well." he added as you hovered over him with a cheeky smile. Before you could answer he pulled you in for a kiss, tasting himself on your tongue and moaning into your mouth. He stripped you slowly as he still came down from his high, his lips pressed into every inch of exposed skin they could find. He rolled over so he was on top, detaching from your lips to take a good look at you.

You were ready this time, wearing a nice set of black and red lacy lingerie and Hyunjin chuckled.

"No 'Finally Sunday' panties?" he teased and you laughed, smacking his arm as your face warmed up.

"Shut up, oh my god." the two of you laughed as he scooped you up on his arms, hugging you tightly.

You held each other for a few moments before he gently laid you down again. You let him take off your bra and his hands caressed your body softly.

"Thank you for dressing up for me but I like you much more when you're all natural." Hyunjin smirked, sliding your panties off.

"Well, here I am." you said nervously, his room being brighter than the car.

"Gorgeous." he licked at his lips as he looked at you. "Do you trust me?" he reached towards his nightstand, opening the drawer.

Your lips parted as you stared into his warm, sweet eyes.

"I do." you whispered and Hyunjin smiled.

"Close your eyes, ma chérie." he said and you did so, anticipation building in your stomach. Hyunjin's spent cock twitched at your compliance. He watched your chest rise and fall with every breath you took as he grabbed the blindfold in the drawer. You felt the soft fabric on your face and gasped as he wrapped it around your eyes and tied it.

"Stop me any time, okay?" he said, his thumb swiping over your lips slowly.

"Mhm." you nodded.

You had no idea what he was going to do, where he was going to touch you but you knew he was searching for something as you heard him rummage through the drawer.

"Relax, my sweet." Hyunjin smirked as you wriggled around, gripping at the pillow under your head.

You waited with bated breath and then you felt it pressed against your nipple. You gasped when your mind registered it, Hyunjin had found a clean soft brush to tease you with. A whimper escaped your lips as he moved the soft bristles up and down your sensitive nipple, changing it to left and right movement as you shivered.

He leaned in closer, his warm breath hitting your face as he continued slowly torturing your nipples, the touch was so gentle that it left you craving more, driving you completely insane as you gushed arousal from your core.

Hyunjin smirked, enjoying seeing you like this as he nosed at your cheek before kissing you softly. He leaned back and took one of your hands in his, pressing a kiss to your wrist and you moaned as he sped up the movements on your nipples.

Hyunjin's lips danced on your skin as they traveled up your arm and you were becoming breathless. Hyunjin could see and smell your arousal and it was making him feel intoxicated, his cock reacting to you right away. Suddenly, all the stimulation was taken away and you whined.

"Shh. I got you." Hyunjin shushed you, before you felt his tongue against your nipple. A little moan escaped your lips as he played with you, taking your nipple in his mouth and sucking on it. You wished so badly you could see his face and his lips wrapped around your bud.

Hyunjin's hands slid up your inner thighs to your throbbing pussy and he spread you apart, his thumb finding your clit immediately.

"Ah!" you moaned, jolting as he slid his thumb against your sensitive clit. "H-Hyunjin!"

He sucked on your breast harder, one of his hands holding your pussy open to expose your clit as he grabbed the brush again, moving it in circles against your bud.

"Oh!" you whimpered, shaking as he attacked your clit with fast movements, now giving your other breast attention too. "Please!" you begged as he dipped the brush into your wetness, gathering it and bringing it to your clit again.

"Tell me what you need, chérie." he whispered, kissing your nipple.

"More." you groaned as he smirked.

"Patience, my darling." he chuckled before continuing his ministrations. You were a whimpering, shaking mess with just the little stimulation he was giving you. Hyunjin noticed the goosebumps rising on your skin so he pressed into you harder, moving the brush faster as your slick coated it completely.

"Hyunjin!" you grabbed at his arm, digging your nails into his biceps.

"Let go for me." he kissed your neck gently a few times before pecking your lips. You moved your hips in tandem with his hand, bringing yourself to ecstasy as you came, moaning his name. Hyunjin played with your clit until you were whimpering and closing your legs around his hand.

He finally threw the brush aside before taking off the blindfold. You blinked a few times while your eyes adjusted to the light.

"I need to taste you." Hyunjin looked almost crazed with lust and a wave of warmness passed through your body.

"Yes." you whispered breathlessly. He kissed all the way down to your pussy before spreading it apart again and pushing his tongue inside instantly, making you whimper and jolt.

"Oh wow!" you exclaimed as he started eating you out immediately, his tongue fucking in and out of your wet hole, lips slurping at your essence and nose brushing against your clit.

Hyunjin gripped at the back of your thighs, pushing your legs down to spread them more as he continued making out with your pussy, moaning into you as you whimpered loudly, gripping at his hair and pressing his head against you.

"F-fuck, Hyunjin!" you whimpered as tears of pleasure gathered in your eyes.

"You taste the sweetest, ma chérie." he said lustfully before sucking on your clit, his fingers pressing against your folds. You urged him on with your moans and the way you pulled on his hair, giving him just enough pain that made him hard. Hyunjin couldn't help pressing his cock against the mattress to feel some kind of relief. He pushed his two of fingers inside you, fucking you as his tongue lapped at your swollen clit.

Your moaning got louder and Hyunjin almost came on the spot just from your taste and the sounds you were making for him. He scissored his fingers inside you, his other hang gripping your thigh. You looked down at him and the image of him rutting against the mattress while he pleased you made you come undone as you exploded, squirting on him and gasping in shock.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" you felt embarrassed when you saw his face covered in you.

"For what, darling? That was so hot." he wiped at his face before leaning down to give you a few more kitten licks and a few kisses to your clit.

"It was?" you shook a little.

"Yes, I can't get enough of you. Will you let me have you completely?" Hyunjin looked at you with eyes full of lust as he hovered over you, his tip pressing against your wet folds.

"Please, I need you." you whimpered and Hyunjin smiled before grabbing his cock and running the tip all over your entrance, giving attention to your clit and slapping it a few times with his tip.

You moaned, arching into him as he leaned over you, kissing you passionately while he pushed in.

"Slowly, please, it's been a while." you whispered, hiding your face in the crook of his neck and looking down at where he was disappearing inside you.

"Of course." his voice was strained as he held back, spreading you open slowly like a delicate flower blossoming. You wrapped around him snuggly and perfectly, sucking him in as he kept pushing further.

He made you look at him as he bottomed out, both of you moaning. Hyunjin wrapped his arms around you as you clung onto him like a koala, inhaling his scent and kissing his ear and neck. He giggled as he played with your hair and caressed the back of your neck.

"You can move." you whispered as you kissed his cheek.

"Mm, darling." Hyunjin groaned as he started moving his hips languidly, making you feel every inch of his hardness inside your warm core.

"You feel perfect around me, my angel, my muse." he praised you, fucking you slowly. You opened up your legs completely and he grabbed one of them, putting it over his shoulder as he leaned down to kiss you.

"You feel perfect inside me, too." you groaned as his tip pressed into your sweet spot. "T-there!" you whimpered, trying to grab at him.

Hyunjin fucked you a little harder but still slowly, taking his time as he leaned back a little to kiss the side of your leg, down to your ankle, the gentle kisses driving you insane as he spread you open with his cock. You were almost making some kind of half split and you were thankful that you were flexible so you could feel Hyunjin buried deep inside you.

He gripped your foot, kissing the side of it as he looked at you hungrily.

"Darling." he whined, pushing your knees to your shoulders. "I wanna be inside you forever." Hyunjin groaned, fucking you harder as his hips slapped against your ass.

"Ah, please Hyunjin!" you cried out, your mind almost completely gone as he brought you pleasure like you've never felt before.

"Please what?" he smirked a little his hands grabbing at your breasts and massaging them.

"Harder, please!" you whimpered.

"Harder, huh?" he kept smirking as he pressed you down as started fucking harder into you, bringing his entire weight onto your core. You shook as you moaned his name loudly, exploding around his cock and Hyunjin twitched inside you.

"Gonna cum too." he whimpered, scrunching his face up in pleasure.

"Inside me." you breathed out, eyes rolling back from pleasure.

"Are you sure?" his eyes widened a little as he looked at you, all spread out for him.

"I'm sure." you wrapped your legs around him, bringing him closer, your hands on his back. Hyunjin gripped at your hips and buried his face in your neck, fucking harder into you as his teeth sank into your skin.

"A-ah!" you moaned louder and louder, Hyunjin's hips stuttering as he started moaning into your ear before he gripped at you tightly and exploded, burying his warm cum deep inside you, riding his high as he kept fucking into you.

"My darling." he said it so sweetly as you held onto each other, both of you sweaty, wet and breathless. Your ears were ringing, your legs cramping and it took you a moment to even realize that music was playing from his living room this entire time.

"Stay with me. Sleep here, I wanna hold you in my arms." he said as he kissed you.

"I'll stay." you smiled, caressing his face and moving the hair that stuck to his sweaty forehead. Hyunjin looked at you cutely, that lovesick look on his face again before he slid out of you and laid his cheek on your breast.

"Let's just stay like this for a moment." he whispered.

"Okay." you said, carding your fingers though his hair.

He was like a comfort blanket on top of you and despite all the stickiness between you, you almost fell asleep.

"Hey, don't fall asleep yet, chérie." Hyunjin lifted his head up to look at you. "We still have dessert left."

"I thought this was the dessert." you giggled and he smirked.

"It was. Special kind of dessert." he wiggled his eyebrows. "But no, I bought crème brûlée for us. I wanted to make it but I don't think they'd taste very good so..." he trailed off and you chuckled.

"You're so sweet, Hyun." you whispered, caressing his head.

"I think that's you, especially after tasting you." Hyunjin smirked, tickling your sides and making you laugh.

"Shut up." you groaned in embarrassment, covering your face.

"We should clean up, pretty." he said, kissing your wrists and hands.

"Yeah, um, I didn't bring anything for a sleepover." you uncovered your face as Hyunjin sat up and pulled you up with him.

"You didn't want to spend the night?" he pouted and you shook your head.

"I didn't want to impose on you." you played with your fingers as Hyunjin gently placed his hand on your knee, caressing you with his thumb.

"I invited you over, you're not imposing at all. I'm looking forward to having you next to me all night."

"Well then, I'm looking forward to being here with you." you whispered as he pressed his lips against yours.

"I'll give you some clothes to sleep in. And I definitely have a spare toothbrush somewhere." he said as the two of you made your way to his bathroom. You chuckled as you walked in and saw different paintings on the walls, most of them chipped and unrecognizable.

"Ignore that." Hyunjin's cheeks got rosy as he led you to the shower.

He adjusted the temperature of the water and kept turning to look at you. You were rubbing your ring finger subconsciously again before you noticed he was looking at you.

"What?" you smiled, your face heating up.

"You're so gorgeous." he said, pulling you towards his body.

You had barely managed to shower with both of your wandering hands as you kept touching each other and kissing, after years of being touch starved it felt right to be skin against skin.

Hyunjin brought you a clean pair of his boxers and the shirt with the sleeping doggy.

"Here." he smirked and you chuckled, smacking his ass with the shirt as he laughed, trying to dodge and run into the kitchen. You got dressed and followed him, feeling so relaxed and cozy.

"I'm ready for a snack actually." you said and he agreed, taking out the sweet crème brûlée. "I have chocolate milk." he said and you giggled.

"Sure, why not." you shrugged and the two of you sat down to eat.

"These are good." you commented. "Not as good as the real thing probably." you added and Hyunjin shook his head.

"Nowhere near." he spoke with his mouth full, his lips pouty and you giggled, putting your hand on his face and wiping the creme off his lips before licking it off of your thumb.

Hyunjin's face flushed as he looked at you, pinching your cheek quickly to tease you and you swatted your hand at him, letting out a noise of protest. He laughed, enjoying the simple and sweet moment you shared.

"Are you sleepy?" he asked after you got ready for bed.

"Yes and no." you shrugged.

"Me too. I kinda don't wanna go to sleep yet because morning will come faster and you'll have to leave." Hyunjin pouted.

"I don't want to leave yet." you shook your head.

Hyunjin suggested watching a movie, so the two of you got comfy in his bed, him wrapping all his limbs around you and pressing his cheek against your breast. It was sweet, having him so close and caressing his head, back and arm as he touched your waist and tummy. You had changed the sheets earlier, everything was fresh, the place was warmed up and the tv was playing some random movie that neither of you really paid attention to.

Hyunjin felt so blissfully happy in that moment and he wanted to have you impossibly closer, he wished he could crawl inside your heart and sleep in there. He did actually almost fall asleep in your arms as you comforted him with your touches. The voices on the tv seemed louder and his eyes snapped open.

"Y/n?" he called out, nuzzling into your chest.

"Yes?" you whispered.

"I'm glad you're here." he kissed your collarbone before looking up at you sweetly.

"Me too." you smiled.

Hyunjin got cozy again and you looked back at the tv but he was suddenly awake so he started talking. For some reason, you weren't too sleepy either so Hyunjin and you spent hours just talking about random things, your high school days, funny accidents while you danced, how he had managed to hide his identity as a painter... There was always something new to talk about, from the most useless debates to the most profound thoughts about life. You enjoyed talking to Hyunjin as much as you enjoyed kissing him and having him inside you.

It was almost 4am when your eyelids got heavy but Hyunjin sat up.

"I just remembered a song." he said.

"A song?" you asked and Hyunjin scrambled to get up before playing I Melt With You.

"Come on, dance with me!" he urged you on and you started laughing.

"Hyunjin, it's like 4am." you kept chuckling as he started dancing around.

"I know, just the right time to do this! Come on, get up baby!" he grabbed your hands, moving them up and down.

"Oh god." you couldn't stop laughing as Hyunjin pulled you out of the bed.

You danced like idiots, spinning and spinning without a care in the world and almost bumping into furniture as you squealed and laughed. The world spun around you and you toppled over together, with you on top of him.

Then the world seemed to stop as the song faded away and was replaced with a silence. Hyunjin reached up to put your hair behind your ear.

"Kiss me, chérie." he said and you giggled, pressing your lips into his.

"We should sleep now at least." you said when you parted.

"Okay, I guess we need to. Are you gonna stay for breakfast?" Hyunjin asked.

"I will." you smiled.

"Sweet." he chuckled.

The two of you got comfortable under the blankets as Hyunjin spooned you, pressing himself against your body and sneaking his hand into your shirt to hold your breast.

"Bonne nuit, mon cœur." he whispered against your hair as you drifted off into dreamland.

-

You haven't slept this well in so long that you woke up wondering what year it was. Feeling Hyunjin pressed up against you, being wrapped up in his warmth and his scent made you feel so cozy. You laid there for a moment, just waking up and enjoying the slow morning. You had an urge to look at Hyunjin so you turned around in his arms carefully, your eyes landing on his sleeping face.

He looked so peaceful and cute, his pouty lips parted as he nuzzled closer to you. Your heart swelled at the sight of him and you started caressing his head. Hyunjin's eyes fluttered open after some time and as soon as he saw you, he smiled, closing his eyes again in delight.

"Good morning, angel." he muttered and you chuckled quietly.

"Good morning." you said.

"Slept well?" he asked, pushing his face into your neck, his breath tickling you.

"Yes, you?" you held him tighter.

"So good." Hyunjin pressed his lips to your neck, giving you small kisses, his lips brushing against the sore spot where he had sucked a mark last night.

Your lips pressed against his forehead and you felt him smile against your skin. You enjoyed the quiet moment, almost falling back asleep until Hyunjin's stomach growled. You leaned back to look at him and his eyes widened before he laughed cutely, his cheeks red.

"I think someone's hungry." you poked his stomach and he swatted at your hand and then grabbed your wrist pulling you on top of him as he laid on his back.

"Hungry for you, ma chérie." he grabbed your face and kissed you as you giggled into his mouth.

"Cheesy." you commented and he rolled his eyes playfully, kissing you again.

Eventually you did get out of bed and made some toast and a cup of coffee.

"It snowed all night." you noticed as you stood up and looked out the window, holding your cup. Hyunjin came up behind you immediately wrapping his arms around your middle as he leaned his chin on your shoulder.

"Yeah, it's probably really cold outside. So you can just stay here." he said, inhaling your scent and closing his eyes.

"I wish I could but I have rehearsals all afternoon." you sighed, caressing his hand.

"Mm let's cancel everything and just be together." Hyunjin kissed you neck with a smile.

"That's not how life works." you chuckled, putting your cup down and wiggling to turn around so you can look at him.

"Blah." Hyunjin faked disgust as you laughed at his scrunched up face. You grabbed his cheeks and kissed him.

"We can see each other again soon." you said.

"How soon?" he asked and you chuckled.

"Soon." you said as he huffed.

You changed into your clothes and Hyunjin barely let you leave out the door, hugging you and kissing you until you were out on the street. You had also finally exchanged numbers, something you had forgotten to do earlier and promised each other that you'll call.

Hyunjin waited until the cab you called drove you away and when he came back up to his apartment, he couldn't wipe the smile from his face. The entire place was full of you, your laughter, your voice, your touches. The bed was unmade and it smelled like you. Hyunjin wanted to drown in it. He couldn't wait to see you again.

It was here. The day you had dreaded and avoided to think about. You felt the impending doom as it approached but you tried to ignore the gnawing feeling inside your guts making it's way up slowly and wrapping around your heart.

You had locked yourself in your apartment for the last three days, calling the dance studio and telling them you're sick. The curtains were pulled over your windows completely, drowning you in darkness. You had no will to get up or answer to any of the calls and texts you've been getting. You saw that they were mostly from Hyunjin but you couldn't face him right now, if you did you'd fall apart completely.

It had been exactly four years since your life stopped, four years since you quit believing, since you lost all hope. Hyunjin had been the only person to awaken something inside you since then but in your darkest moments, you thought he's better off without you. The baggage you were dragging around was like shackles around your ankles, making it hard to climb out of the pit you had long made home in. The tears wouldn't stop coming as you thought about your past and the pain you felt that still teared you apart, albeit less than before but you were convinced it would never go away entirely.

You thought about Hyunjin and how sweet he is, how loving he seems to be, how much he apparently likes you. It scared you more than anything, the thought of what could be something beautiful, only to be lost one day, taken away from you like it already was once before.

You sank deeper into the darkness.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin was scared too. You haven't been answering his messages or returning his calls for a few days now. He kept replaying that night you spent at his place, trying to find a hint that would let him know why you were avoiding him. But, he couldn't find a reason other than maybe you just didn't want to see him again, maybe when you got home you realized you only wanted it to be a one time thing. Maybe you didn't want him like he wanted you. But still, some kind of gut feeling was telling him something else was wrong.

Hyunjin mentally prepared himself for your rejection as he got dressed, deciding to go look for you at your place.

You were lying on your couch, absentmindedly staring through the tv, not even looking at what was happening on the screen when you heard your bell ringing. You groaned quietly, burying your nose further into your blankets. The ringing persisted, followed by a series of knocks.

"Go away." you muttered quietly.

"Y/n, it's me. Please open the door." you heard a muffled voice, recognizing it instantly. Your eyes went wide for a moment as you contemplated.

You didn't want Hyunjin to see you at your worst but something pulled at your heartstrings as you heard the desperation in his voice. Your legs led you to the door. You needed him, you really needed him.

The door opened just as Hyunjin was about to knock again, his hand lifted up mid-air. He gasped when he saw you looking pale and tired. You looked at him wordlessly as you gently grabbed his wrist and pulled him in, pushing the door closed at the same time.

"Hyunjin." you fell into his arms, your face buried in his chest instantly as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

"Shh." Hyunjin soothed you as you gripped at him, your hands grabbing at his winter coat. You stood like that, just melting into each other for a few moments as Hyunjin looked around, seeing your curtains pulled all the way together, your apartment a mess.

"Mon cœur, what's wrong?" he asked as he leaned back, taking your face in his arms and making you look at him.

You shook your head as tears gathered in your eyes. Hyunjin took his coat off quickly and led you to your couch so the two of you could sit down. As soon as you got there, Hyunjin's eyes fell on the coffee table. He tilted his head as he picked up the framed picture, examining it. His eyes widened when he noticed it was you with another man, the picture obviously being a wedding photo, you in a white dress and the man in a suit as the two of you smiled at each other while holding hands.

"You're married?" Hyunjin's brows furrowed.

"I was. My husband... he passed away four years ago." you swallowed as Hyunjin looked up at you, sadness in his eyes.

"Y/n. I'm so sorry, I had no idea." Hyunjin grabbed your hand quickly, wanting to soothe you. That's why you always rubbed your ring finger subconsciously, he thought, you were probably self-soothing, a habit you had playing with your ring when you used to wear it.

"It happened so suddenly. Everything was so quick, we had no time to react. We had been drinking that night with friends. Of course we had a stupid argument on the way home and the last things I said to him were hateful. He yelled, I yelled back. He lost control of the wheel and we swerved, it happened in a matter of seconds, so fast that I didn't even realize what was going on. Not until the car stopped spinning and I laid there and just saw him all... bloody and lifeless. I'll never forget that, he took his last breath and he was gone, ripped away from me just like that. I always blamed myself, why didn't I suggest taking a cab? Why did I pick a fight over him not washing some dirty dishes, something so insignificant in hindsight. Why didn't I die with him?" you sobbed as you told Hyunjin everything, finally letting it out after holding your thoughts back for years.

"Y/n, I can't even imagine the pain you went through and I'm so sorry but you have to know that it was an accident, it is not your fault. Sadly, these things happen and we have no control over them." Hyunjin held your hands in his, caressing your skin with his thumbs.

"I know and that scares me. What if it happens again?" you swallowed, looking at him.

"What if it doesn't? We can't live in fear like that, we'd never get out of the house and do anything. You have to take a leap of faith in life. Otherwise you'll just be stuck in the same rut over and over again. Take a chance. With me." he smiled a little, wiping your tears away gently.

"I come with so much baggage, Hyunjin. I have loved so much once that a piece of my heart will always be his."

"I'm okay with that." Hyunjin nodded. "I've loved and lost before too. Not that I can compare it to what you went through but a piece of my heart was taken away when my ex left me too. But we have a whole lot of heart left to feel again, don't we?"

"I guess we do." you sniffled. "What now?"

"Now, we open up the curtains and let the sun in."

Tears brimmed in your eyes again as you threw your arms around Hyunjin and hugged him tightly, a choked sob escaping your lips.

"It's okay, I'm here." he held the back of your head with his hand, his other hand moving in soothing circles on your upper back. Having him in your presence was like you had taken a happy pill, the fear, worry and sadness slowly traveling further and further away from your aching heart.

When you parted, Hyunjin stood up and pulled the curtains open slowly, making you whine a little.

"Come see." he beckoned you to come closer and you reluctantly stood up to join him, your eyes still adjusting to the brightness.

"What am I looking at?" you asked as he grabbed your hand, bringing it to his face and pressing a sweet kiss into your skin.

"The snow is almost melted." he whispered, his lips lingering on your skin. You chuckled and he smiled, pulling you into a hug.

Hyunjin was sweet and gentle with you, helping you clean up your apartment and cook a nice warm meal. He distracted you with all the funny stories he could remember just to lift up your spirits.

"You know what always helps me relax? A nice, warm bath." he smiled.

"Are you sure you're not just trying to get me naked?" you smirked, your mood better than before.

"Oh my sweet, I could get you naked any time I want." he winked and you laughed as your face heated up, your stomach fluttering.

"Mhm." you mumbled with an embarrassed smile.

"Tell me I'm wrong." he leaned in closer to your face, his hands on your thighs as he looked up at you after you tried to hide away from him.

"You're not." you said and he smirked playfully, giggling and pecking your lips.

Together, you prepared the bath and the mood in the bathroom as you lit up some scented candles and dimmed the lights.

"Fancy." Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows, making you laugh.

You checked the temperature of the water and Hyunjin stood behind you, pushing his hands under your shirt and caressing your back.

"Ah! Cold hands!" you jumped a little but still leaned into his touch.

"I'm trying to warm them up." he smirked, his hands running over your stomach to your breasts as he cupped them, massaging them lightly.

"Mhm, right." you shivered against him. "Let's get undressed."

"Don't need to tell me twice." Hyunjin kissed your jaw before he leaned back, getting rid of his clothes. You did the same as Hyunjin watched you, his eyes filling up with hunger. He got in first and then spread his legs to make room for you.

"Lean against me." he reached his hand out to you and you got in slowly, sitting between his legs and leaning your back on his chest.

"You know how you said my dancing inspired you to paint?" you said quietly and Hyunjin hummed, tracing patterns into your waist and stomach with his fingers.

"Your paintings gave me hope to keep going." you whispered as you leaned your head on Hyunjin's shoulder and looked up at him. The meaning of your confession made Hyunjin squeeze you tighter against him.

"Y/n..." he whispered as you sat up, finding it hard to look at his face all of a sudden. Hyunjin leaned in closer and brushed his lips on your shoulder as you kept talking.

"It was really hard to find an ounce of strength to even get up in the morning. I was wondering why should I even keep going, you know. Nothing made sense anymore, it's like that person is there and you're so used to it that you forget to appreciate the fact that you have them in your life. But once they're gone you realize just how much you had, and then suddenly your life is completely different than it was before. I couldn't even recognize myself anymore, anything that brought me happiness until then just became bleak." you stopped to take a breath and wipe your tears as Hyunjin held you and listened, his chin on your shoulder.

"I walked past your gallery many times but for some reason I never really paid much attention to it. And then one day I went for a walk just to escape how I was feeling inside the apartment. Something pulled me to go inside suddenly, I just had to see. I remember the name of the exhibition too, it was called 'On the wings of love' and all the paintings were just so uplifting and gave a feeling of pure love, something I had in my palms but it slipped through my fingers. It hurt to look at the paintings but it hurt in a good way because it gave me hope that it still exists and that someone out there has what I had." you explained. "And now after meeting you, I realized I saw you in the gallery that night but you never noticed me. You were standing there with someone, looking at the paintings as the two of you laughed. You passed by me before leaving out the door and I remember being slightly jealous of what you seemed to have."

Hyunjin's breath tickled your skin as he kissed your shoulder and neck gently.

"Doesn't it seem like fate?" he said. "Like we were meant to find each other. I think everything happens for a reason as shitty as that seems sometimes. You found hope inside the exhibition I painted for my ex, you saw me there with... him. Life is kind of ironic like that, it seems. I thought I had it all too but then he just left me like I was nothing." you grabbed Hyunjin's hands, caressing them.

"I met him in Paris. He was there for a modeling job and I happened to attend fashion week. I saw him on the runway and thought I was hallucinating an angel. But he was far from that. Of course everything was wonderful in the beginning but the more time that passed the more he started to neglect me. He always found some excuse, mostly it was his job. He worked all the time, long hours and trips. I asked to join him on his trips since I can literally paint from anywhere but he'd find some new excuse saying he wouldn't have free time to spend with me since he'd be working the entire trip. And then there'd be pictures of him out drinking and stuff, being handsy with other people. I don't know if he ever actually cheated on me and I don't want to know but it hurt so bad. I watched him fall out of love and it was my worst fear coming to life right in front of my eyes. I knew he was going to leave and yet when he actually did it, I felt like my world had crumbled into pieces."

You turned a little to look at Hyunjin, seeing his eyes filling up with tears and your heart hurt.

"How could someone fall out of love with you?" you whispered and Hyunjin stopped talking, his eyes widened slightly as he searched your face. You leaned in and kissed the tears that slid down his cheeks. His lips broke into a smile as his eyes fluttered shut and he leaned his forehead against yours.

"Kiss me." he said quietly and you grabbed his face, kissing him with everything you have. Hyunjin pulled you closer, the water sloshing around you as you grabbed at each other.

When you parted, you were breathless, your hands squeezing at his shoulders and his wrapped around your waist.

"I'm glad we talked about this." you said and he nodded.

"Me too." Hyunjin smiled as you played with his hair, leaning in to peck his lips a few times before leaving sweet kisses all over his face. Hyunjin started giggling at your attack of affection as your lips found his cheek, his nose, his eyelids.

"Let me wash your hair." you whispered against his lips.

"Okay." he whispered back, kissing the corner of your lips.

You turned completely so you were facing him, wrapping your legs around his waist as he pulled you closer. You grabbed your shampoo as his hair was already wet and Hyunjin looked at you with a soft smile on his face. With your hands tangled in his hair, you started massaging his head.

Hyunjin hummed, closing his eyes, his hands traveling up towards your chest. He opened his eyes and grabbed your breasts, squeezing them and you chuckled.

"Hyunjin." you warned him playfully.

"What? They're there." he teased with a smirk, his thumbs rubbing your nipples as he cupped your breasts. Your hands stuttered a little as arousal built within you. Hyunjin decided to stop distracting you and just relax while your gentle hands massaged his head. The intimate and quiet moment between you felt like a dream, like you had to pinch yourself to see if it was really happening.

Hyunjin couldn't stay still for too long as he started teasing you and playing with the bubbles, making you laugh at him as you rinsed his hair.

"Quit squirming, you'll get shampoo in your eyes." you chuckled.

"Sorry." Hyunjin pouted, staying still for another moment as you finished up.

"There. All done." you said, caressing his head.

"Thank you for that." Hyunjin said, gently kissing your lips.

"Of course." you whispered, the two of you exchanging kisses until you were almost breathless. You turned around in his arms as he offered to wash your back, wanting to soothe you more. He was definitely getting excited as were you and the gentle touch on your back as well as him kissing your neck and shoulder whenever he could kept making you more needy for him.

"Hyunjin." his name felt like a prayer as he pulled you flush against him and you felt him pressing against your backside.

"My darling." he breathed out, grabbing your legs and pulling them over his so you were spread open for him. A whimper escaped your lips as you leaned back on his shoulder, your neck exposed. He kissed the side of it, licking at the droplets of water before sinking his teeth into your flesh. You moaned while his hands kneaded your breasts and pinched your sensitive nipples.

"I need you." you moaned as he licked at the love bite he created on your skin.

"I got you, pretty." he whispered in your ear, hand sliding between your legs. Anticipation bubbled up inside you as Hyunjin gently touched your inner thighs. He squeezed your flesh a little before his hand cupped your pussy, making you whine. He shushed you, kissing your jaw and pressing at your clit, playing with it gently. His other hand was busy on your chest, pinching and pulling at your nipples. Your eyes were closed as you let go completely, leaving everything in Hyunjin's hands. His lips never left your neck as he slowly slid his fingertips between your folds.

Your breath hitched as soon as he pushed in, spreading you open with his pretty fingers.

"Ah!" you moaned, pulling your legs up more so you could grab at his thighs. Hyunjin pressed you closer to him as he slowly started moving his fingers inside you, his other hand now on your clit.

"Hyunjin." you moaned, your nails digging into him.

"Say my name, mon cœur. Let me hear you." he whispered against your ear as he kept kissing your neck, fingers moving faster and harder.

"Hyunjin!" you kept moaning his name like it was the only word you knew in that moment and he kept fucking into you faster, his other hand flicking your clit quickly, all of the commotion making the water slosh around and splash on your floor. You didn't give a damn in that moment, all you cared about was Hyunjin.

Sweet Hyunjin who did everything tonight to make you feel better, to lift you out of the slump you were in, to make you forget about the pain.

Your legs trembled, almost closing around his hand as you whimpered loudly and came, arching your chest while Hyunjin watched you trembling against him, thinking how fucking beautiful you looked in that moment, completely and utterly his.

"Oh." you gasped when he pulled his fingers out, still playing with your clit gently and Hyunjin chuckled at your cute habit of gasping like that.

"I think we should get out of this water now." you scrunched your face up and Hyunjin laughed, jostling your body a little.

"It's getting cold anyways." he agreed.

The two of you got in the shower and the water ran down your bodies as you held each other.

"What about you?" you whispered while Hyunjin caressed your back.

"Don't worry about me tonight." he said.

"But I want to make you feel good." you looked up at him and he smiled.

"You're already doing that." he kissed you passionately, his tongue dancing inside your mouth, exploring and tasting. The two of you kept kissing and touching the entire time as you showered. You didn't even notice how tired and exhausted you were from being sad for days but Hyunjin noticed and that's why he didn't want you to worry about him tonight. After finally getting dry and warm, Hyunjin ordered some food for the two of you, cuddling you while you waited.

"Hey, don't fall asleep just yet." he giggled as you were practically already sleeping on his chest.

"Sorry." you mumbled sleepily.

You ate in a daze and when you finally got comfortable in your bed, Hyunjin wrapped his body around you.

"Sleep, my sweet. I'll be here in the morning." he whispered sweetly, kissing your cheek.

Everything will be okay.

~ part 2

taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun @scarlet789 @skzdust @schniti-is-in-the-house @eastjonowhere @sona1800 @channiesrightasscheek @justwonder113 @yvettemint @inaribu00 @httpdwaekki @possum-playground @ria-april @yn-x-them @mariahxrrera @0omillo0 @halfwinterhalfuniverse @cooldeermagazine @delulkpopstan143 @todorokiskitten @compersian @azxulskz

[loveemagicpeace]

💗Astro Notes💗

The fire signs tend to be confident of finding light at the end of the tunnel. The earth signs are focused in the present - staying busy with practical arrangements can bring security. With planets in air, your key asset is objectivity - conversely, with planets in water you need to give due importance to deep feelings.

The cardinal signs tend to deal with difficuity by taking control and trying to make headway. In the fixed signs, there is natural resilience and staying power. If you have mutable signs strong on the other hand, running away might be your preferred option - but if not, you can use your versatility and capacity to adapt.

The 6th house is a good place to begin. Your daily health plan belongs here and so it is wise to create one which reflects your 6th house planets (and/or the sign on the cusp).

Sometimes there will be contradictions, such as having both Jupiter and Saturn in this house, but this simply means that you must pay attention to both and get them to work in tandem in this area of your life.

Even if you have Chiron or Uranus here, you can devise a way to honour these principles. With Chiron in the 6th, you might be interested in investigating complementary health practices; with Uranus, it might help to exercise in short bursts, and also to find ways to discharge the high-voltage nervous energy this planet exudes. Mercury in 6th house you can have a very exciting lifestyle, and you can also be distracted by many things during the day.  Sun in 6th house you like to be productive during the day itself.

The 12th house Traditionally this was regarded as the house of sickness, a place where planets lose vitality and are "weak" in their expression. Other astrologers speak of karma and "past lives" in respect of this house. A psychological approach can shed light on this.

Planets in the 12th are hidden from view - thus our motivations and behaviour patterns around them tend to be unconscious. In addition, the "past lives" can be seen as those of our ancestors; planets here can hint at complexes or traumas experenced by past generations, which we have somehow inherited.

These hidden feelings often make themselves known to us in psychosomatic form, as physica. symptoms. An example of this might be the Moon here suggesting an experience of lack of nourishment or care, which might emerge as a longing to be looked after; with  Mercury here you can experience of not being allowed to speak out, which emerges as illnesses or conditions connected to the voice.

People with a lot of neptune, 12th house energy are more prone to daydreaming and have a more relaxed outlook on life.You are not so inclined to be able to do something immediately or to be organized, you are often more inclined to do things when you feel like it. You do a lot of things by feeling.

Sun -your indentity and purpose can emerge from a life dedicated to service. Mercury- you have ability to manifest a lot of things. You have a wild imagination. Pluto- You have a very strong intuition and often feel things before they happen.

Pluto can be very powerful in this position.

Based on your venus u can see what type of love u want and where u feel the most loved. Venus is also your pleasure and desire. Where you find your value. Your beauty, art , music, things you love to do. Sagittarius venus you find beauty while traveling. The love you have for places is very big. You love people with whom you can share adventures, fun things, passion. Virgo venus for you grandness of love is shown through everyday acts of affection and care.

Virgo Rising -they have trouble finding true love. They attract many partners who don't suit them in the way they would like them to be. They are also quite individualistic. They like to be with people they can connect with as part of their routine, they usually look for someone who has a similar lifestyle to them.But many times they attract people who are the opposite of who they are, especially since they have Pisces in the 7th house. At least once in their lives, they attract someone who betrays them or has a false identity. They often have a thinner physique and have a harder time gaining weight.

Cancer Rising-they tend to find the right partner later in life.Usually when they have a Saturn return. Before that, they can attract many karmic partners.

Capricorn Rising-they are very independent and can do many things on their own. They also have a lot of luck in love, often find partners, are caring, and create a beautiful home with them.They have a lot of self-respect and will never let you humiliate them.

Libra Rising -They flirt a lot and always need love, but because this is the house of Mars, it is sometimes very difficult for them to regulate their energy. Your personality is naturally passive aggressive at times. You don't like conflicts.. You see the beauty in everything and always want to be kind to people. But there is one side of you that doesn't show as much. That is, people always think you are very open because of your friendly energy, but you are actually quite a closed person. You don't really share your privacy with others.

Sagittarius Rising- Your personality is very optimistic and you try to look at life from a positive perspective. Many times you can  have certain beliefs that you don't deviate from. You are also a very resourceful person. You can quickly get out of situations that are not pleasant

Rebekah🌙🧜🏻‍♀️

[jestiree]

Doodle idea! Shadow milk and pure vanilla cooking together ^0^

I love them so much ....

Decided to begin reqs with something wholesome! You know...before all the steamy things

I really like how this silly comic turned out, especially because this was my first time using stabilization in procreate, and suddenly my shaky hands literally got posessed by Da Vinci himself otherwise WHY IT TURNED OUT SO GOOD....

Also my headcanon bonus!!

I imagine that Pure Vanilla is very good at cooking (especially baking) and does it very simply, despite not following the measures of ingredients in recipies and even not knowing some of them

Shadow Milk on the other hand, is VERY knowlegable about literally EVERY recipie and dish of the world, but even before corruption he couldn't cook like

At all

It either burned to ashes or turned into a failed experiment

And Smilk to this day struggles with it so much that at one point he started to mesh everything into a bowl once he got to cooking, just so he could create some silly (probably) edible abomination

[https-lvesick]

RUNAWAY BRIDE ★ huang renjun

summary . . ♡ Just weeks before your wedding, doubts begin to creep in, and on the big day, you panic and make a break for it. Desperate and still in your bridal gown, you flag down a passing car driven by a friendly stranger. He offers to take you to safety, but what starts as a temporary stop turns into something much more. As you hide from the life you left behind, feelings grow, and the lovely stranger finds he doesn’t want you to leave.

pairing . . ♡ renjun x rich girl!reader

word count . . ♡ 23k

genre . . ♡ fluff, angst, smut, strangers to friends to lovers, love at first sight

content . . ♡ family issues, renjun is downbad since day one, reader used to be a good girl, but now she's a big girl, mentions of jeno x reader (briefly), minhyuk and hajoon are assholes the whole time, jealous renjun, other nct members and idols make appearance.

smut content . . ♡ a lot of kissing, unprotected sex, masturbation (both), fingering, cum eating, cunnilingus, humping, fellatio, reader compares renjun with minhyuk but in a good way, (mentions of) multiple rounds.

You stared at yourself in the mirror for the thousandth time. Your eyes traced every detail—the flawless hairstyle, the delicate diamond tiara, the long white dress with intricate lace sleeves, and the impeccable makeup. Pride swelled within you for reaching this milestone, for taking the first step in building your future family. But why? Why did you feel so heavy with dread? Why did every thought of a future with your fiancé fill you with unease instead of joy?

The door creaked open, and one of your bridesmaids—your best friend—entered the room. Her radiant smile was contagious, filled with pride and warmth. It almost made you believe in the illusion of a blissful future. Because this was the right thing to do.

Wasn’t it?

"Here’s your bouquet..." she said, placing the bundle of crimson roses in your hands. Red roses, the ultimate symbol of love, carefully adorned with tiny diamonds nestled between the blooms. Joy beamed with excitement, far more emotional than you felt. Her eyes drifted to your trembling hands, interpreting it as a case of perfectly reasonable wedding jitters.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, taking your hands in hers. You inhaled deeply, letting out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

"Nervous," you admitted with a weak, insincere smile. Everything about this moment felt like a facade. "My heart’s racing faster than one of Sung’s monologues."

She chuckled, and for a fleeting second, the tension eased. Was the rapid beat of your heart merely pre-wedding anxiety? Or was it doubt?

"That’s perfectly normal," Joy reassured, her tone as light as if describing a fairytale. "I felt exactly the same on my wedding day. Trust me, the nerves disappear the moment you say ‘I do’ and seal it with a kiss."

For her, this was magic. It was supposed to be for you, too. You had always dreamed of this moment—finding the perfect man, getting married, building a life together, a house filled with love, children, the happiness you grew up surrounded by. You had always wanted to create that for yourself.

While Joy hums your favorite song, her voice light and soothing as she glides—almost dances—around the room, tidying up stray objects, you glance at the mirror once more. A deep breath fills your lungs as you close your eyes, trying to conjure a vision of a happy future with Minhyuk. But it’s the same as before: not the image of a fulfilled life, but of an unhappy woman trapped in her own story. Now, though, even that vision is gone. It’s as if... there is nothing after the ‘I do.’

Your eyes flutter open. Joy, still twirling around the room with a smile on her face, sings in that melodic voice that always brings you peace. You stare at your reflection again, knowing there’s still a chance—one fleeting chance—to make the right choice.

"Joy?" you call softly. Her attention snaps to you instantly, her warmth as comforting as always. "Could you get me some water? I think these nerves are really getting to me..." Your voice trembles just enough, sounding perfectly fragile—exactly like the version of yourself everyone expects. Joy giggles at your tone, unaware of anything unusual.

"Of course," she says cheerfully, excusing herself before slipping out the door.

You draw another deep breath, your heart thudding in your chest.

Better to regret doing too much than to regret doing nothing at all.

The words echo in your mind as you pull off your heels and set them aside. You remove the diamond tiara, placing it on the chair with care. Then, with your pulse racing, you open the door that leads to the garden where the celebration waits.

The moment your bare feet touch the grass, you run.

You run as fast as you can, ignoring the weight of the dress pulling you down, ignoring the stinging thoughts of what people will think, ignoring the consequences that tomorrow will bring. All that matters is getting out—escaping the cage before it locks you in forever.

When Joy returns to find the door ajar, the tiara and heels abandoned, the crystal glass slips from her fingers, shattering on the floor. Fear flashes across her face—fear of the uproar your family will unleash when they realize what’s happened. But she doesn’t chase after you. She lets you go.

"I hope you know what you’re doing..." Joy whispers to herself. She laughs in disbelief, shaking her head. She waits a moment, giving herself just enough time before putting on the perfect mask of panic for when the news breaks—the bride is gone.

It takes longer than you'd like to escape the mansion grounds, and even longer before anyone realizes the bride is missing. Minhyuk stands in stunned silence at first, refusing to believe it’s true. Then anger overtakes him, his fury mirrored by your father, whose mind is already racing with ways to punish you for disgracing the family.

When you finally reach the street, your legs burn and your lungs ache. You stop to catch your breath, heart pounding in your chest, knowing that by now, everyone is searching for you. The security team must already be mobilized. Finding you will be easy—too easy. After all, a bride running through the streets of Los Angeles isn’t exactly inconspicuous.

You take off again, pushing your legs to move faster, weaving through traffic, not waiting for the light to turn. The inevitable happens—a car screeches to a halt, clipping your side just enough to send you stumbling. The driver’s face is as terrified as yours.

“Help me,” you murmur, voice trembling as your eyes lock with his.

For a moment, he hesitates, his eyes darting between you and the road as horns blare and angry drivers shout behind him. His decision comes fast.

"Get in!" he shouts, leaning out of the window.

Without thinking, you yank open the door of the white car and slide into the back seat. The man wastes no time—the car surges forward as he presses the gas.

You finally exhale, eyes closing as a rush of emotions floods you. Tears begin to fall, quiet and unstoppable. The adrenaline still courses through your veins, but your mind clears just enough to fill with the images you’ve been running from—the glares of your parents, the disappointment of your former in-laws, the fury in Minhyuk’s eyes, and even the hurt expression of your brother.

You might be disowned. You might be cast out and cut off from your family forever.

But you refused to surrender your life to anyone else’s plans.

“Miss?” you hear the man call softly. Your eyes flutter open, and for a brief second, you meet his gaze in the rearview mirror. Then, you catch sight of your own reflection—your makeup mostly intact, though streaked with tears. You wipe them away with trembling hands, but they keep falling.

“Yes?” you respond, voice barely above a whisper. His eyes linger on you, filled with concern.

“Do you have somewhere I can take you?”

You pause, thinking. A hotel is out of the question—you have no money on you. Going back home is impossible—it’s ground zero for everyone you’re running from. And all of your friends? They’re at the wedding.

“No…” you mumble, shame creeping into your voice. Your eyes drop to your lap, fingers fidgeting nervously. “Just… please, get me far away from here. Anywhere. I’ll figure it out.”

You can feel his pity, an emotion so palpable it wraps around you like a heavy blanket. You don’t want to meet his gaze again—you already know what’s written in it. But how could you blame him? How could anyone leave a distraught woman in a wedding dress stranded in the middle of nowhere?

He sighs quietly, his voice careful but resolute. “Alright. How about this—I’ll take you to my place. You can shower, calm down, and maybe… call someone. Does that sound okay?”

Relief washes over you, and with no better options in mind, you nod. “Okay.”

He glances at you in the mirror again, a gentle smile tugging at his lips. “I’m Renjun, by the way.”

Despite everything, you manage a weak smile in return. “I’m…” You introduce yourself, your name feeling strange on your tongue, like a part of a life you just left behind.

The thought of making that call, of confronting the fallout from your grand escape, churns your stomach. But you push it aside. You can’t afford to think about it now. Instead, you stay quiet, unsure if Renjun wants to talk. You clutch your hands tightly together, focusing on the blur of the city outside, each passing streetlight pulling you further from a life you no longer wanted.

The drive felt agonizingly slow, each second stretching like an eternity. The upbeat song playing on the radio only made the suffocating tension worse. Renjun tried changing the station a few times, but nothing seemed to fit the mood, so he turned it off altogether—which only made the silence heavier. He wrestled with indecision, unsure whether to break the quiet and attempt a conversation to ease your discomfort or leave you alone with your tears. Never in his life did he imagine finding himself in this situation: a bride in distress, heartbroken and crying, in the backseat of his car.

As his car turned into a quiet suburban street, your teary gaze lifted. You took in the picturesque neighborhood with wide eyes. The houses stood in perfect uniformity, a row of identical designs—slate-gray siding, black-shingled roofs, and bright white doors and windows. It was nothing like what you were used to. The garage door opened with a soft hum, and Renjun pulled into the driveway, parking with precision.

“We’re here,” he said gently, turning the key to cut the engine. His eyes flicked back to you. “Shall we?”

You nodded, wordlessly stepping out of the car, feeling the cool pavement under your bare feet as you followed him inside.

With every step into his house, a sharp pain flared in your left foot. You ignored it. After all, you had just sprinted a marathon barefoot to escape a nightmare.

The scent of clean linen and fresh pine filled the air, wrapping you in an unexpected calm. The place was spotless, impeccably organized—a serene contrast to the storm inside you.

“I’ll grab something for you to wear,” Renjun offered kindly. “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Thank you,” you whispered. You sat on the pale, plush sofa, your feet dangling as you swayed them back and forth. But as the stillness settled over you once more, the weight of everything returned. The tears you had momentarily paused came rushing back, and the sorrow sat heavy in your chest, pressing down like an unforgiving hand.

Back at the mansion where the wedding was supposed to take place, chaos reigned. Tension hung thick in the air as your father stormed through the grand hall, his fury palpable. The rest of your family shared in his anger, but your brother remained the calmest, quietly observing the fallout. Your friends stood uncertain, hopeful that there might be a rational explanation for your sudden disappearance.

The guests had long departed, murmuring whispers of scandal and speculation as they left. Even Minhyuk and his family were gone, their pride wounded. Your phone had rung incessantly until one of your bridesmaids, Arin, noticed it—along with all your personal belongings—left behind in the bridal suite. The search for you began in earnest: through the garden, under the canopy of the gazebo, even into the winding hedges of the labyrinth. But there was no trace of you. Frustrated, your father ordered the security team to comb the streets.

“I will not rest until that ungrateful girl is back in this house!” he roared, his face red with rage as he shoved aside anyone offering comfort.

“Dad, blowing up like this isn’t going to help anything,” your brother Jungwoo said, folding his arms with a resigned sigh. He had seen this spectacle before and was already half out the door.

“If you’re not going to help, Jungwoo, then leave,” their father snapped, gesturing dismissively.

“As if I haven’t thought of that already,” Jungwoo muttered under his breath. Turning to face him fully, he added, “And don’t bother calling the police. She wasn’t kidnapped. She’s a grown woman making her own choices. The police won’t do anything about it.” He walked out, his steps steady, leaving behind a trail of truth no one wanted to hear.

“Uncle Kim, maybe you should sit down, take a breath, and think things through before making any rash decisions,” Joy ventured gently, her hands raised in a placating gesture.

Her words were met with a glare sharp enough to cut glass. “And you, Sooyoung,” he spat, pointing an accusatory finger at her, “aren’t you supposed to be her best friend? Why don’t you know where she is? Or are you hiding her from us?”

“Of course not!” Joy retorted, her eyes flashing with defiance. “And you know what? Even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell you!” She grabbed her purse, slinging it over her shoulder. Her voice grew stronger, her conviction unshakable. “If she ran, it’s because she was unhappy with this whole charade of a wedding. I stand with her.” Without waiting for a response, she stormed out.

The silence left in her wake simmered with rage. In one swift, furious motion, Kim Hajoon seized a large vase of flowers and hurled it to the floor, the porcelain shattering into jagged fragments. “When I find that girl…” His voice dropped to a venomous whisper, his jaw clenched so tight it trembled. “She will be punished for disgracing this family.”

You had already taken a bath. The clothes Renjun lent you fit perfectly—a pair of black sweatpants that hugged you comfortably and a loose yellow T-shirt sporting the logo of a band you didn’t recognize. He had even provided a pair of slippers, slightly oversized but perfectly serviceable. During your shower, you discovered a shallow cut on your left foot from a shard of glass. Fortunately, a quick rummage through the bathroom drawers revealed tweezers, allowing you to carefully remove the fragments. The injury made walking painful, causing you to limp as you descended the stairs, using the walls and furniture for support.

In the living room, Renjun sat on the sofa, eyes focused on a movie playing on the TV. He seemed to be waiting for you. Two glass mugs rested on the coffee table, the rising steam hinting at freshly brewed tea. When he noticed your presence, his face lit up with a warm smile.

“I see the clothes fit.” His brows furrowed as he took in your posture, leaning heavily against the wall. “Did something happen?” he asked, his voice laced with concern. “I mean… aside from… well, you know…”

“Do you have a first-aid kit?” You interrupted his fumbling words before he could tie himself into further knots.

“Uh… wait a second!” Renjun shot up and disappeared into the kitchen, returning moments later with a small white medical kit. He placed it on the coffee table, and when he saw you hobbling toward the couch, he quickly came to your side.

He wrapped one arm around you, his other hand lightly supporting the small of your back as he guided you to sit down effortlessly.

“What happened?” he asked as he settled beside you.

You lifted your leg, resting your ankle on your other knee. Gently peeling away a makeshift paper bandage, you revealed the small wound. “Glass cut. Guess running around barefoot isn’t the best idea…” you remarked with a soft laugh, prompting a smile from him.

“Were there shards?” Renjun opened the kit, pulling out gauze, antiseptic, and iodine. He was already puzzling over why you hadn’t mentioned the injury sooner—perhaps you hadn’t realized at first.

“There were, but I got them out. I cleaned your tweezers properly, I promise! They’re back where I found them.”

He chuckled, brushing the concern aside.

“All right. May I?” He gestured toward your foot, waiting for permission.

You nodded shyly and adjusted your posture, resting your foot across his legs.

Renjun dampened a piece of gauze with antiseptic, handling your foot with a tenderness that made your breath hitch. The sting of the solution made you hiss softly, drawing air between your teeth. He glanced at your expression, careful to remain as gentle as possible. After thoroughly cleaning the cut, he applied the iodine and secured a fresh gauze with adhesive tape.

“There we go,” he said, his tone light and reassuring. “Take it easy, okay? No more wandering the streets barefoot.” He closed the kit and set it aside. “I made tea for us. Hope… it’s to your taste…” His voice softened as he handed you a warm mug.

You accepted it with a grateful smile. “I’m sure it’ll be perfect. Thank you, Renjun.” You took a tentative sip, inhaling the aromatic steam. It wasn’t exactly your favorite flavor, but knowing the care behind it made it sweeter.

Your gaze began to drift across the room. Every detail—from the cozy furniture to the tasteful decor, the paintings, and even the muted tones of the walls—spoke of simplicity and warmth. It was all so different from the lavish grandeur you had grown up with. Renjun caught your curious exploration.

“Like the decor?” he asked, a playful lilt in his voice.

Your eyes widened, startled, as if you’d been caught peeking into a forbidden room.

“Uh, yes,” you murmured, taking another sip of tea to hide your embarrassment. “It’s beautiful. Different from what I’m used to…”

He raised an eyebrow, amused. You immediately regretted your words, worried they had sounded snobbish. You rushed to clarify, stumbling over your explanation.

“A good kind of different! It’s… lovely, really!”

Renjun burst into laughter, his eyes crinkling with delight as his head tipped back. His laughter filled the room, infectious and genuine. He nearly dropped his mug but recovered just in time. The sound of it, so full of life, made your heart flutter.

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” he said, wiping away the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “But now you’ve got me curious. What’s so different? Do you live in a castle or something?”

His teasing tone made you smile, the tension melting away like morning fog.

“Almost… it was a mansion.” You used the past tense without thinking. You weren’t sure if you’d still be living there, but honestly, it wasn’t as though you wanted to. “It had two floors and covered… about six of your houses in size…” You let the memory linger for a moment. “The décor was extravagant. My mother always loved flaunting the family’s wealth. She made a smart choice marrying my father.”

Renjun took a small sip of tea, his fingers lightly brushing the warm glass. “Well, my humble little house definitely doesn’t compete with… that.” His voice carried a faint laugh, but his eyes flicked downward. Embarrassment? Insecurity? Even he didn’t quite know.

“Please, don’t think I’m bragging or rubbing it in,” you said quickly, your words tripping over themselves. “It’s just… I don’t even like it. All that luxury… it’s too much to look at, too much to keep up with, and in the end, none of it really matters. It’s all just… stuff.”

He murmured agreement, nodding thoughtfully. “Yeah, you have a point.”

With the conversation trailing off, your attention returned to the TV. You weren’t sure what movie was playing, couldn’t tell who the characters were or what the plot was about. But you kept your eyes fixed on the screen, pretending you were following along. Renjun finished his tea first, setting his mug on the table. You did the same soon after, inhaling deeply as you placed it down.

“Feeling better?” he asked, stretching out to grab his phone from the side table.

You rubbed your palms nervously over your thighs, nodding.

“Do you want to call a friend? Or family?”

Your heart skipped. A rush of panic swelled in your chest, making your breath come shallow and quick. You didn’t want to leave. Not yet. Here, in this small, cozy space, you felt safe—a world away from the consequences waiting for you outside. The mere thought of facing your parents made your skin crawl, the weight of their judgment already pressing on your shoulders.

He noticed your change in demeanor immediately. His eyes darkened with concern as he set his phone down. Leaning toward you, his hand found the small of your back while the other wrapped gently around your trembling fingers.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay,” he whispered soothingly. “You don’t have to do anything right now. You’re not being forced. I’m not going to pressure you. Not at all.”

You clenched your jaw, fighting the tears burning behind your eyes. You had to say it. You had to ask.

“I can’t go home, Renjun.”

He stiffened at the desperation in your voice, the way your words trembled on the edge of breaking.

“Why? What happened?” His eyes searched yours, wide and worried. “Do you need the police? Is that why you ran from your wedding?”

The shock on your face was answer enough. You shook your head fervently, gripping his hand tighter.

“No, no, no police, please,” you whispered. “I’ve already made enough trouble. I don’t want more.” You lowered your head, your voice growing small, fragile. “I’m… sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

He watched you in silence, trying to piece together your story, to understand the fear etched into every word.

“Then…” He paused, hesitant but sincere. “Stay the night. You’re welcome here. But you need to tell me what’s going on. I can’t help you if I don’t know.”

His eyes held nothing but kindness, a warmth that radiated safety and trust. How could you not believe in someone who carried protection in every glance, in every gentle movement?

You hesitated, the words locked behind a wall of doubt. Could you really open up? Could you share what had brought you to this moment? You knew once you began, you wouldn’t be able to stop. But wasn’t that the least you owed him?

Sitting in his home, seeking refuge under his roof, didn’t he deserve to know?

You took a deep breath, still hoping—just maybe—that trusting a stranger could be the right thing after all.

There, you told him everything. From the very beginning of your relationship with Minhyuk to the complicated dynamics with your parents. You explained how, ever since your father learned that your ex-fiancé's family wanted to partner with his company, the engagement—and eventual wedding—felt more like a business deal than a union of love. The pressure to marry had crushed the affection you once felt. You also shared how, despite your parents being loving, they valued the family’s public image above all else. To outsiders, you were the picture-perfect family, even if you and your brother Jungwoo avoided media attention. You feared what facing them now would mean. After all, you had dishonored them, and the news had likely already hit the headlines.

After all, it wasn’t just any wedding that collapsed. It was a high-profile merger between two of the most powerful families across Asia and North America. Walking away from Minhyuk at the altar would surely be seen as more than a scandal—it would be a public humiliation and the collapse of a strategic alliance.

Renjun listened intently, his expression never wavering from one of understanding. He offered his home for as long as you needed, reassuring you that there was no rush to face your parents until you were ready. To break the tension that had thickened the air, he proposed a change of subject—something lighter.

“How about we get to know each other a little more?” he suggested with a smile. “Since we’ll be under the same roof for who knows how long.”

The hours melted away as you both shared pieces of your lives.

You learned he worked as a bridal gown designer for a renowned fashion house, dressing celebrities and socialites. His eyes sparkled with pride as he scrolled through pictures of his creations on his phone, and you fell in love with each one.

“When I get married… for real this time…” You laughed, your cheeks warming with a mix of nerves and humor. “Can I wear one of your dresses?”

“It would be an honor to dress you, Miss Kim,” he teased, bowing like a courtly gentleman presenting himself to royalty.

You also learned he was eager to adopt a dog, ever since falling in love with Daegal, a friend’s fluffy white puppy. Speaking of friends, he warned you that they would be visiting tomorrow.

The conversation meandered into trivial, delightful corners—how you both liked your eggs in the morning, and which way the toilet paper should hang (an intense debate you both thoroughly enjoyed). By the time the night stretched into the early morning, you found a friend in Renjun.

Somewhere between the stories and the laughter, sleep claimed you both. You woke hours later, still on opposite sides of the couch.

A delicious aroma drifted into the room, stirring you. Blinking, you took in the faint morning light seeping through curtains drawn closed for your comfort. Stretching, you inhaled deeply, savoring the scent of breakfast. You rubbed your eyes and rose to your feet, following the inviting smell into the kitchen.

Stopping in the doorway, you watched your new friend setting the table, carefully arranging two plates and pouring juice into glasses.

He noticed you immediately and broke into a grin. “Good morning!” he greeted cheerfully. “I set up the guest room for you. Fresh sheets, stocked the bathroom, even put a new toothbrush there.” He gestured at the plates. “Now, go wash your face, or I’m eating without you!”

A laugh bubbled up before you could stop it.

“Good morning, Renjun,” you said with warmth before turning away, a rare calm settling over you.

And for the first time in a long while, you felt like you were exactly where you needed to be.

At their parents' home, Jungwoo had come to check in on them. His father, as expected, was as implacable as ever. He hadn't even offered a polite good morning—just the same grim scowl that seemed carved into his face. His mother, on the other hand, at least acknowledged him with a nod. Though her fury matched her husband’s, she knew there was no point in unleashing it on her son.

“Have you heard from her, my son?” Katherine asked, dabbing at her mouth with a linen napkin.

“No, Mother. I came to see how you’re holding up. I don’t have any news.” He reached across the table, his hand covering hers as he traced small, soothing circles with his thumb. “But I would like to talk about what happened…” His words hung cautiously in the air. He knew this was treacherous ground—too soon, too raw. And if the news wasn’t already plastered across every major outlet, it was only a matter of time before it flooded every screen and headline.

“What’s there to talk about, Jungwoo?” His father’s voice sliced through the room, hard and cold. “You’ve made your choice. You sided with your sister—the irresponsible, selfish girl that she is.”

“What side, dad?” Jungwoo shot back, meeting his father’s tone head-on. “There are no sides. We’re a family!”

“A family?” Hajoon stood abruptly, his chair scraping harshly against the floor as he towered over his son. His eyes burned with rage. “She is not my family. That girl had everything. I gave her everything, and how does she repay me? She destroyed it all, Jungwoo! She is the shame of this family!”

Jungwoo rose to meet his father’s glare, his own anger boiling just beneath the surface. “And what will you do? Disown her? Cast her out because she didn’t follow your script?” His voice sharpened like steel. “Don’t forget, everything you gave her was your choice. You had children because you wanted to. Don’t act as if she owes you her life for that, Kim Hajoon.”

Between them stood Katherine. She remained seated, her eyes shifting between husband and son. Despite her own anger, the woman could not ignore the fierce pull of her maternal heart. Her daughter was still her child, a piece of her soul—a part of her that she could never abandon.

“Watch your tone, boy,” Hajoon growled, his voice rising to a full roar. “I am your father! And yes, that’s exactly what I’ll do. When you find your sister, you tell her she’s no longer part of this family.”

Jungwoo’s lips curled into a bitter smile. His next words came slowly, each syllable dripping with disdain. “Then be my guest. You don’t have children anymore.” He took a step back, chest heaving. “Find yourself another heir to fill your shoes when you’re gone. Maybe Minhyuk—your perfect son-in-law—can step in.”

He turned away, his steps heavy with hurt and defiance. He felt his father’s furious gaze searing into his back, but he didn’t look back.

“Get out of my house!” Hajoon bellowed after him, his voice thundering like a storm.

Jungwoo kept walking. The words, no matter how harsh or cutting, could not pierce the armor of truth he carried within him. Yet, deep down, each cruel utterance still weighed on his heart.

Because no matter how righteous the fight, no matter how strong his resolve, nothing cut quite as deeply as hearing those words from his own father.

“I’m here to collect my sister’s belongings,” Jungwoo said, his voice cold and clipped. “Don’t worry, Hajoon. Just documents—what she’s entitled to. Rest assured, when she comes back, I won’t let you lay so much as a finger on her.”

With that, he turned and strode toward the staircase, urgency propelling him forward. He didn’t need much—only her phone and papers—but the weight of his father’s presence made each step feel heavier.

Behind him, Katherine watched her son disappear up the stairs before fixing her gaze on her husband.

“You didn’t mean a word of that,” she said, her voice a knife hidden in silk.

“I did,” Hajoon snapped, though the crack in his voice betrayed him.

“No, you didn’t.” Her eyes darkened with resolve. “Hajoon, let me make one thing crystal clear—if any harm comes to our children because of one of your outbursts, I swear I’ll destroy you.”

The silence that followed was as sharp as broken glass. She wasn’t bluffing. He knew Katherine’s word was as unyielding as steel.

Moments later, Jungwoo descended the stairs, a small bag in hand. His jaw was set, his eyes stormy as he marched past his parents.

“Jungwoo—”

Her hand reached for his arm, a desperate attempt to keep him from leaving.

“Let me go, mom.”

“Please, my son—”

“Let me go,” he repeated, firmer this time, his patience fraying at the edges.

Reluctantly, her fingers loosened. She stood in silence as he walked out the front door without a backward glance. No goodbye. No hesitation.

Outside, the cool air bit at his skin. Jungwoo crossed the street to where his car waited, pulling out his phone and scrolling for a familiar number.

When Joy answered, he didn’t waste time with pleasantries. “Any news?”

“None,” she sighed.

“When she reaches out,” he said, his tone sharp with urgency, “don’t let her go home. Don’t let her call them—don’t even think about letting her contact our parents. I don’t care if she avoids me too, just let me know she’s safe. I’m bringing her things over. You’ll probably be the first person she tries to find.”

Before she could respond, he ended the call, gripping the phone tightly in his hand.

He slumped against the steering wheel, his breath heavy with frustration.

I hope you know what you’re doing, little sister…

After breakfast, Renjun stretched his arms, gathering the dishes to take them to the sink.

“I’m heading to the market,” he announced, turning on the faucet as water began to flow over the plates. “I need to grab a few things and get ready for my friends coming over later.”

You sat silently for a moment, your fingers absentmindedly rubbing your palms together.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” He glanced over his shoulder, water running between his fingers as he scrubbed a dish.

“I’m sure.” Rising to your feet, you picked up a dish towel and began drying the plates as he handed them over. “I don’t want to risk being seen.”

Renjun shrugged, exhaling softly in understanding. The silence that followed was calm, broken only by the steady sound of water and the gentle swipes of fabric against ceramic.

“I…” Your voice faltered, hesitant. “I think I want to call Joy.”

He raised an eyebrow, curious but patient.

“Or maybe not,” you added quickly, averting your gaze. “Forget it. It doesn’t matter.”

He turned off the faucet and leaned back against the sink, watching you. “Your best friend?” When you nodded, his lips curved into a small smile. “Of course it matters. You should call her. Even if it’s just to let her know you’re safe… and maybe to find out what’s going on with your family. It might help.”

Your teeth worried your lower lip as you hesitated.

“You don’t have to tell her everything,” he continued. “Just enough.”

Your heartbeat quickened. It’s only Joy, you told yourself. She’s your best friend.

You inhaled deeply, steadying yourself. “Alright…”

“Great.” He handed you his phone with an easy grin. “Use mine. The passcode is 2303.”

He started to leave but paused at the doorway, glancing back with a playful wink. “I’m just going to change clothes. Holler if you need anything.”

Alone with the phone in your hand, you stared at it as if it carried a weight far beyond its physical form. Why? Why this hesitation to reach out to the one person who always had your back?

Just breathe.

Your fingers trembled slightly as you keyed in the passcode.

Moments later, the dial tone buzzed in your ear. You held your breath, the world shrinking to this single connection, until…

“Hello?”

The tension in your chest melted at the familiar voice, and a smile crept onto your face before you realized it.

“Joy.”

Relief poured into your words.

“Oh my God, it’s you!” Her voice burst with a mix of panic and joy. “Where have you been? Are you okay? Are you safe? Are you staying with someone? In a hotel? Do you even know what’s happening out here?”

Her rapid-fire questions shot out like arrows, sharp with urgency, but each one wrapped around you like a warm embrace—reassuring, grounding, reminding you that you had a refuge in her.

And for the first time in what felt like an eternity, you no longer felt alone.

“Joy, I’m fine. I’m safe, staying at a… friend’s place. He’s taking good care of me, so don’t worry.” You hear her let out a heavy sigh of relief before you continue. “I called just to let you know I’m okay and, well… to find out how things are going over there.”

There’s a pause on her end, a hesitation that tells you everything you need to know: things aren’t going well. Which, honestly, was to be expected after yesterday’s spectacle.

“Your dad’s absolutely furious, but I’m sure you figured that out already,” Joy says, her voice lowering into a somber murmur. You hum in acknowledgment, anxiety building in your chest. “Jungwoo had it out with him. Told him they weren’t even part of the same family anymore.”

Your eyes widen. What? Jungwoo fought with dad? What does your brother have to do with this?

“I didn’t get all the details since he didn’t explain much, but…”

You barely catch her words as you notice Renjun descending the stairs. You murmur, “Hold on a sec, Joy,” then turn your attention to him.

“You’re talking to your friend?” he asks with a smile, and you nod, unable to stop a small grin from forming despite the tense conversation.

“Yeah.”

“Well… I won’t be too long. I should be back in about 40 minutes, give or take, depending on lines and traffic. Do you want anything from the market? Ask for anything you like!” His warm smile makes you feel at ease.

“Could you get some granola bars? I love snacking on those…” You ask timidly, feeling a bit shy about requesting something. But honestly, with everything going on, they’ve become your comfort food.

“Of course, silly.” You smile, telling him your favorite flavors and thanking him before he heads out.

When you return to the phone, Joy’s teasing voice immediately greets you.

“So… is he cute? That voice of his sounded dreamy.”

You nearly choke. Coughing a few times, you hear her giggle on the other end.

“Joy! That’s not something you ask!”

“Oh, come on! Just because you ran from a wedding doesn’t mean you can’t notice a handsome guy. So? Spill. Is he hot?”

You can’t help but laugh.

“Um… yeah, he’s pretty hot. And sweet! He’s honestly amazing, Joy,” you say, feeling warm as memories of the night before and this morning flood your mind. Renjun really was a gem. “But enough about him for now. Tell me what happened next!”

“Right, sorry!” Her tone shifts again. “Jungwoo came by earlier. He dropped off your documents, your phone, and a few clothes you left at his place. He knew you’d reach out to me first.”

You bite your lip, grateful for your brother’s intuition.

“But…” Her voice lowers, turning serious. “He said not to let you talk to your parents under any circumstances. Whatever’s going on, it’s bad. So please, don’t reach out to them until I figure out what’s really happening.”

Your stomach twists at her warning.

“Okay… If you find out more, tell me.” A thought occurs, and you add quickly, “Oh, and save this number! It’s Renjun’s phone—this is how we’ll keep in touch.”

“Got it,” she replies.

“And Minhyuk and his family… well, I haven’t heard much about them, but it’s safe to assume they’re just as furious as your father. Jooheon said Minhyuk didn’t say much after the wedding. He just left and hasn’t really kept in touch. He thinks Minhyuk is still processing everything, probably feeling disappointed. I just hope he doesn’t do anything stupid… You know how he can be—bitter and vengeful,” Joy says, her voice full of concern.

“Yeah… What I did to him was so unfair. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he retaliated. I even thought about talking to him, explaining what made me do it, but… I don’t have the courage.” You exhale a soft, humorless laugh.

“And that’s totally understandable. I’ll reach out to the guys, see if anyone knows how he’s doing, and I’ll keep you updated on whatever I find out, okay?” Sooyoung’s tone turns lighter. “But now, tell me more about this Renjun guy I’ve never heard of! Come on, spill!”

“Well, actually, I just met him yesterday while… running away. I almost got hit by his car.” You chuckle at the memory, even though it was a close call.

“You’re staying at a guy’s house you met yesterday? And he almost ran you over? Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” Her tone shifts from curious to stern. And she has every right to be concerned — what are you thinking, spending the night with a total stranger?

“Joy, I told you, it’s fine. He’s been nothing but kind to me. He didn’t push boundaries or make me feel uncomfortable. If he had, I wouldn’t still be here.” You try to justify your actions, but she scoffs in response.

“I still don’t like the sound of this,” she mutters.

The conversation flows from there, stretching into a good few minutes. You talk about everything — from the chaos of the wedding to what happened after your escape and your scattered thoughts about what comes next.

After more than half an hour on the call, you and Joy say your goodbyes. With nothing else to do, you decide to explore the house. Hopefully, there might be a task to keep you occupied until the Chinese boy returns. You get up, leaving your phone on the coffee table, and start with the living room console. There are a few picture frames there, each holding a photo.

You pick up the first one, which shows Renjun and a friend, seemingly on a climbing trip. The two are posing playfully on a massive rock, making you smile. You vividly recall what he told you about that day and how he recommended trying it—well, at least with someone experienced. The second frame holds a picture of him with three kittens, probably belonging to his friend. Two of the three fluffy white furballs are gazing at him adorably, as if mesmerized by the young man. The third frame contains a photo of him alone, with a brightly lit city at night as the backdrop. He’s leaning over what seems to be a bridge railing, wearing a brown trench coat and glasses, accompanied by that beautiful smile of his—the one that suits him so perfectly. You could swear that the first time you saw him smile, especially when he laughed, your world became a little more colorful.

You hear the sound of keys, and moments later, the door opens. Renjun steps in, carrying a few shopping bags. Instinctively, you go to meet him and help.

“Thanks. Wow, I think I took longer than I planned—jeez!” he complains, closing the door as the two of you head to the kitchen.

“Just a little…” you tease, glancing at the clock. The time he estimated had been exceeded by… about an hour and nine minutes.

“A guy’s car broke down in the middle of the avenue. A few of us had to help push it to the shoulder. That little adventure took about twenty minutes,” he explains, washing his hands at the sink. “Oh, and there were some new, unusual flavors of snack bars, so I got a few for you too. Hope you like them,” he adds shyly, glancing at the bags.

You offer him a sweet smile and a shy "thank you." He pulls the little boxes out of the bag, showing them to you. You examine each one with enthusiasm. Truly, you'd never seen them before—not even in advertisements. You felt happy that Renjun had thought about you and even happier knowing you’d get to try all those treats.

“I didn’t ask earlier—how’s your foot?” he asks, unloading the groceries and placing them on the counter.

“Oh, it’s fine. It still hurts a bit, and I definitely can’t put too much weight on it, but I think I’ll survive,” you joke with a smile.

“If you need me to clean it again, just let me know. The last thing I want is to have to take you to the hospital because your wound got infected, Miss Kim.” His shoulders drop slightly as he speaks. How is it that even his scolding sounds so gentle?

“Yes, Sir Huang!” you reply with a mock salute, making him laugh.

“How was your conversation with your friend?” he asks as you sit down on the stool with a sigh.

“The conversation was good, but the situation could be better…” He watches you with a worried expression, walking over and gently holding one of your hands. Your gaze drops to where your hands touch, and you can’t help but feel a warm, comforting sensation.

“What happened?” Renjun’s thumb strokes the back of your hand, his eyes locked on your face. You don’t think he’s doing it on purpose—making you feel this way. This sense of safety, of being cared for. He’s just so naturally good at it.

“Uh… Well… Joy said Jungwoo had a fight with our father, and apparently, they’re no longer on speaking terms… And about Minhyuk, she hasn’t heard from him. I think he’s still shaken, you know? Being left at the altar… I feel a little guilty about it. I mean, he was so good to me…” You sigh, memories of happy times with your ex-fiancé flooding your mind.

“But you didn’t feel the same anymore. And that’s okay. You shouldn’t blame yourself for that. He might be hurt, maybe even angry, but if he truly loves you, I’m sure he’ll give you the chance to explain why you did what you did,” Renjun says, his voice calm and reassuring. You give him a faint smile in response.

“Thank you, Renjun. I think I’ll go back tomorrow. I’ll talk to Joy, Jungwoo, and, of course, try to speak with Minhyuk,” you say. Renjun’s soft smile makes your heart race. Silly heart, why are you doing this? Calm down!

“That’s a good idea. Joy might have already told them you’re okay, but there’s nothing like hearing it directly from you, right?” he says with a playful tone. “If you don’t want to do it alone, I can go with you,” he offers.

You’re tempted to accept—partly out of fear, especially of facing your parents and the Lee family, but also because you’ve come to love Huang’s company. Still, none of this has anything to do with him. The messy family drama, the unresolved emotions, the impulsive decisions—none of it should affect Renjun, even though being with him is already a conflict in itself.

“No need, Renjun. I think it’ll be better if I handle this on my own…” you say. He nods, still gazing intently at you. You smile awkwardly, noticing he hasn’t realized he’s still caressing your hand. “So… what’s for lunch? Can I help you?” you ask, pulling your hand away quickly to change the subject.

Renjun seems to snap back to reality, blinking a few times and clearing his throat before returning to what he was doing. “Ah, yeah… I was thinking of making jjamppong. And, of course, you can help! Just don’t stand up—stay seated right there, exactly as you are,” he responds, a bit shy.

You comply, staying seated as you watch him. Renjun washes the vegetables and hands them to you to chop. As you prepare the meal together, you chat about various things, mostly his friends, who are coming to visit in a few hours. He shares bits about them, wanting you to feel comfortable around them.

“Renjun, how am I supposed to meet your friends looking like this?” you exclaim, gesturing at yourself as you turn to him. He chuckles at your reaction.

“What’s wrong? My clothes fit you perfectly. It’s like a feminine, much prettier version of me,” he jokes, letting the compliment slip naturally, leaving you flustered and shy.

“W-what’s wrong is, have you seen how I usually dress casually?” you ask, exasperated.

“Of course not. I just met you yesterday, and I’m pretty sure your casual wardrobe doesn’t include a wedding dress,” he teases, leaning casually against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching you fuss.

“Nothing like an oversized men’s shirt or jersey shorts, seriously, Renjun?” you protest, trying to fix your hair at the very least.

He watches you, utterly captivated, a small smile lingering on his face. You had just come out of the shower, wearing his fresh clothes—a plain white shirt and gray jersey shorts. Renjun didn’t have anything remotely feminine in his wardrobe, which made sense since it wasn’t his style, nor did he have a sister to help out. This was the best he could manage. You tried folding the shirt and tying it to look more “presentable,” as you put it. He listened as you muttered complaints like, “I’d never go out in public like this” or “A slightly tighter, shorter shirt would make a huge difference.” But he couldn’t care less. You looked so effortlessly beautiful in his clothes.

“Well, I guess this will do,” you finally declare, snapping him out of his little reverie. You had done a simple half-up hairstyle and managed to adjust the shirt to your liking, tying it into a makeshift crop top. “Do you have any makeup around here?” you ask with a playful flutter of your eyelashes, and he obliges.

Renjun retrieves the kit he uses daily and hands it to you, resuming his quiet admiration.

“Some of it might not match your skin tone, so just stick with the eyeshadows, blush, and this brand-new lip balm,” he says, placing the products in front of you, along with a serum. “And can I ask why you’re going to all this trouble to get ready for my friends? You’d look fine to me, messy hair, no makeup, and wearing my clothes just the way they are.” Everything about his words radiates comfort and domesticity.

You can’t help but think of Minhyuk. He used to love you just as you were—completely disheveled, makeup-free, in wrinkled clothes, even with a bit of drool after a night’s sleep. A small, warm smile creeps onto your face at the comforting memory.

“Who said I’m getting ready for your friends?” you retort, raising an eyebrow mockingly. “For your information, I always have to look presentable, even when I’m sleeping. You never know when an emergency might happen in the middle of the night! What if I have to run out because the house catches fire? Or worse, what if I die in my sleep? My ghost is not going to wander around wearing a stained band T-shirt, ripped shorts, and ankle socks.” You explain this while applying the lip balm, your logic making Renjun burst out laughing. Once again, his laughter warms your heart, setting it beating in a way you’re all too familiar with.

The doorbell rings, and your eyes widen. Despite coming from a wealthy, famous, and highly sociable family, you’ve never been a social butterfly—that was always your brother’s role. You’ve preferred to stay in the background, keeping your social circle as small as possible. When necessary, you’d interact politely, of course—your upbringing wouldn’t allow rudeness. But the thought of meeting six new people, all men no less, was nerve-wracking.

Renjun helps you down the stairs, as he’s been adamant about minimizing the strain on your injured foot. One hand supports yours, while the other rests on your waist—now slightly exposed thanks to your tied-up shirt. His firm grip steadies you, and it’s only sheer willpower that stops him from carrying you straight to the sofa. He couldn’t quite understand why he felt so protective of you, but he knew he’d do anything to prevent you from getting hurt again.

“Sit here,” he says, guiding you toward the sofa, but you shake your head in refusal. “Don’t be stubborn.”

“I’m not being stubborn, Huang. But you don’t greet people while sitting down. I’m fine standing for a few minutes,” you explain, resolute. He sighs in defeat, though a soft smile soon tugs at his lips as he lets you be.

The doorbell rings again, this time more impatiently. Renjun strides toward the door, muttering, “Learn to wait, Chenle!” as he unlocks it. Three men come into view, and the one who seems to be Chenle strides in first, grumbling.

“If you were just a bit more efficient... It’s just a door,” he says with a dramatic roll of his eyes. He looks like he has more to say, but his gaze lands on you, standing beside the sofa, and he stops mid-sentence. “Oh, hello, gorgeous,” he says with a grin, stepping closer and extending his hand. “I’m Chenle.”

Shy, you shake his hand and introduce yourself.

“Renjun! You didn’t mention your friend was this pretty,” says the freckled boy—Haechan, apparently. His words make you duck your head, shyness spreading over you as you glance down.

“Shut up, Haechan, and behave, or I’ll throw you out,” Renjun warns, glaring at him. Haechan raises his hands in mock surrender before stepping closer to you and repeating Chenle’s greeting.

“That antisocial guy over there is Jisung,” Renjun says, gesturing toward a tall boy dressed entirely in black. You offer him a polite wave, and Jisung returns a friendly smile.

“And the others?” Renjun asks, watching as Haechan sprawls out on the sofa.

“Mark went to pick up Jeno and Jaemin, but one of his cats wasn’t feeling well, so he’s checking on it. Worst case, he’s bringing the three little troublemakers with him,” Chenle explains, flipping through TV channels. You gasp audibly at the mention of three kittens, and suddenly all eyes are on you. You shrink back slightly.

“Sorry, I just really like cats,” you mumble, which only makes the group chuckle in amusement. Renjun steps closer to you, gently touching your arm.

“You can sit down now. They’re going to take a while, and I don’t want you straining your foot,” he says softly, his tone full of care. It’s obvious he’s trying to divert your attention from the slightly overwhelming presence of the three men, having noticed your discomfort.

Meanwhile, Chenle, Haechan, and Jisung exchange knowing looks, their expressions oozing mischief. Haechan is the first to grab his phone and start typing furiously in their group chat, announcing “renjunnie’s girlfriend :(”. Predictably, the three absent members of the group explode with curiosity and excitement in the chat.

It’s not like Renjun hadn’t already told them what had happened yesterday afternoon. The issue was that he conveniently left out a few crucial details: the girl he almost ran over was now staying at his place, wearing his clothes, and about to have lunch with his friends.

Was this normal behavior for someone who’d just met another person yesterday?

“So, what’s for lunch, huh?” Chenle asks with a cheerful grin.

“Jjamppong. And be nice—she helped me make it,” Renjun replies as he sits beside you, carefully placing a cushion under your leg to keep your foot elevated.

“What’s the story there?” Haechan asks, eyes glinting with curiosity. Renjun shoots him a less-than-friendly look.

“Well, I was…” You hesitate, unsure if Renjun had already filled them in about your situation. You also don’t feel like telling complete strangers that you ran away from your own wedding, so you opt to downplay the story. “...running barefoot on the street and ended up cutting my foot. Definitely not my smartest idea.” You laugh lightly, trying to ease the awkwardness, though the three men exchange puzzled glances.

Once again, the doorbell rings, and Renjun gets up to answer it. He wasn’t expecting Mark, Jeno, and Jaemin to show up so soon—especially since Jaemin is famously attached to his cats and tends to hover over them when they’re unwell. What he wasn’t expecting even more was the sight of each of them carrying one of the cats in their arms.

“Weren’t they supposed to be sick?” Renjun whispers to Jeno as they step inside, visibly confused.

"Yeah, but he just gave them their medication and brought them along. Out of all of us, he’s definitely the most excited to meet your girlfriend." After Jeno’s comment, Renjun could almost swear he saw a question mark floating above his own head, like in a cartoon. But soon enough, he let out a sigh, already knowing who had spread the rumor.

As he closed the door and turned around, he noticed Jaemin standing right next to you, holding Luna in his arms. You looked absolutely delighted. Your love for cats was unmistakable, evident in the way your eyes sparkled as you gazed at the three of them together.

"Our dad never let us have a pet," you shared as Jaemin moved closer, stroking Luna and Luke gently.

“‘Us’?” Mark asked, curious.

"My older brother. When we were kids, he once tried to steal the neighbor’s puppy, but as you can imagine, it didn’t end well. She called the police on him, accusing him of theft, and he denied it to the bitter end, crying his eyes out, begging the officer not to arrest him." You all burst into laughter at the story. The memory was vivid in your mind. You could still picture Jungwoo trembling with fear, even wetting his pants at the thought of being arrested at the tender age of eight—but that part of the story didn’t need to be shared.

"And… how did you two meet?" Jaemin asked, his curiosity piqued. Renjun had given a brief explanation earlier, but Jaemin wanted to hear it from you. He found it hard to believe his friend could start dating someone in just a day. That was more of a Haechan move. Still, who was he to judge love? If Renjun felt it was right, then it was.

You glanced at Renjun, hesitant about how much to share, but he gave you a reassuring nod and a thumbs-up, silently encouraging you to continue. "Well, I was running down the street… barefoot..." you said with a laugh, lifting your injured foot as evidence. "I was so desperate that I didn’t notice the light was green and ended up throwing myself in front of Renjun’s car." You turned to him with a smile, which he returned.

"Good thing I’m an excellent driver with great reflexes," he said smugly, flashing a proud grin—until he noticed your expression.

"But isn’t that just the bare minimum for a driver?" you replied, arching an eyebrow. The room filled with laughter, and all the teasing eyes turned to Renjun, who sighed in defeat. Apparently, you had already joined the club.

"Looks like she got you there," Jeno quipped, laughing as he stretched his legs out on the coffee table. A habit Renjun absolutely despised but had long given up trying to correct after countless ignored requests.

"I refuse to let you join the ‘Renjun Hate Club’ with these degenerates," Renjun muttered, heading toward the kitchen while the others chuckled behind him. "Jisung, come help me!" he called out to the youngest, who groaned as he reluctantly followed.

"I can help—" you started to offer, but Renjun shot you a look that made you pause and blink, lowering your head sheepishly. "Never mind, I guess I can’t…" you murmured, and he gave you a soft, affectionate smile before disappearing into the kitchen.

During lunch, everything went smoothly. The boys made an effort to make you feel more comfortable by bringing up lighthearted topics, giving you plenty of opportunities to join in on the conversations. Even Jisung opened up and shared a few words, and you realized he was simply shy—much like you. He felt more at ease in the presence of close friends.

You also learned that Jeno was once part of the same world of media and wealth but had given it all up to live in anonymity, free from his family’s expectations and pressure. And he was absolutely right to do so; you were sure you’d follow his example after the whole wedding fiasco.

Amid the laughter and chatter, lunch came to an end. The meal was excessively praised which made you feel bashful, though in a good way. After all, if Renjun had been solely responsible for the meal, he would’ve been endlessly teased.

Now, everyone was debating what to watch. Renjun and Mark were voting for comedy, while Jeno and Jisung leaned toward action. Haechan and Chenle argued for suspense, and you threw in a random vote for romantic comedy, aligning with Jaemin. Honestly, you didn’t think the choice of movie mattered much since, from what little you’d seen of Renjun’s friends, they seemed like the type to talk over the whole thing anyway.

“It’s a tie…” Jisung stated the obvious.

“Why doesn’t Renjun decide? It’s his house, isn’t it?” you suggested, and everyone turned to you, though only two of them looked pleased.

“No,” Haechan shot back, making you laugh. “Let’s settle this with a wheel spin.” He pulled out an app on his phone and entered the genres into a digital roulette. Clearly, these disagreements happened often.

The TV was still tuned to a random news channel. Jeno had turned it on, thinking the guys might behave a bit better with you around. He was wrong.

You were completely distracted, stroking Luke, who was napping peacefully in your lap. You almost didn’t notice Minhyuk’s face appear on the screen. But when your eyes caught the image on the TV, you froze.

“Jeno, turn it up, please,” you asked, your tone suddenly serious, your gaze glued to the screen.

“Come on, are you seriously gonna watch the news—” Jeno joked, not giving it much thought.

“Jeno. Turn the damn volume up.” This time, you looked at him directly, and he swore a chill ran down his spine. He had never encountered a woman so… commanding, except maybe his mother. There was something in your expression and tone that left no room for argument.

“[...] And as I stood at the altar, waiting for the woman I thought was the love of my life, she abandoned me.” Your eyes widened. Something deep inside you told you this press conference would spell disaster for your reputation. “She ran away from the wedding, leaving everyone waiting and worried, while she ran off with her lover. And she hasn’t even shown up to explain herself.” Minhyuk’s voice was dripping with hatred. You could almost see the venom in his words.

Your jaw dropped instantly, and the boys around you exchanged worried glances. No, he’s not doing this.

“Do you know him?” Renjun, sitting beside you, asked cautiously. But you didn’t answer. Your focus remained entirely on the screen.

“That’s why I’m saying this here and now, to finally end this charade. Y/N Kim is not who you think she is. She’s manipulative, deceitful, and cruel. She fooled me for years without a shred of remorse…” At that moment, you stopped listening.

You couldn’t believe the man you once loved was capable of doing this to you—spreading lies just to ruin your reputation. Sure, your heart still carried guilt for leaving him at the altar, but this? This was too much.

Yet, you could feel the guilt and regret fading, replaced by anger and a thirst for vengeance. If he wanted an ex-fiancée who was manipulative and cruel, then that’s exactly what he would get.

“Renjun, give me your phone, please,” you said, extending your hand toward him, your voice calm but firm. Your gaze quickly flickered to the others in the room, taking note of the shock on each of their faces. But you weren’t intimidated. Taking the already-unlocked phone, you searched through the call history and dialed Joy.

The phone rang three times before Sooyoung’s voice came through. You didn’t even need to say anything before she spoke. “I’m watching the show too. Jooheon just told me about it—apparently, Minhyuk gathered everyone at the last minute, and even he didn’t know.”

You let out a dry laugh, your tongue pressing against the inside of your cheek as you kept your eyes fixed on the nonsense your ex-fiancé was spewing on TV. “I need you to come pick me up. Now,” you said curtly before hanging up.

You asked Renjun for the address, which he immediately provided. Typing it into a text, you sent it to your best friend.

Without missing a beat, Jeno turned off the TV, sparing you from any further torment. The room fell into an awkward silence. While Renjun watched you with concern, the other boys seemed more curious than anything else.

“Is it okay to ask?” Chenle finally muttered, only to receive a light smack from Mark, who promptly silenced him.

“You all asked how I hurt my foot…” you began, your voice carrying the weight of suppressed emotion. “I was running away from my wedding to that…” you paused, closing your eyes as anger surged through you. Words failed to capture just how furious you felt toward Lee Minhyuk. “Idiot. And no, I didn’t cheat on him—least of all with Renjun. I’ve only known him for a day,” you clarified quickly, eager to dispel any lingering doubts.

“I just… I wasn’t feeling right. It wasn’t what I wanted, and without thinking, I ran.” Your expression softened, tinged with melancholy. You felt truly disheartened, betrayed by someone you thought you knew so well. Years of what had seemed like a happy relationship had come crashing down, leaving behind a bitter taste you couldn’t ignore.

A familiar warmth enveloped you as Renjun pulled you into a hug. You looked up at him, offering a small, grateful smile, before leaning further into his embrace. He held you with care and kindness, making you feel secure in a way you hadn’t expected.

Tilting your head back to keep the tears at bay proved futile as emotion overwhelmed you. They spilled over, your fragile heart breaking under the weight of everything.

“And I don’t even want to think about how my dad’s feeling—if he’s watching this,” you choked out, your voice quivering with restrained sobs. A comforting hand rested on your shoulder, this time from Jaemin. “God, he’s going to kill me…” you murmured to yourself, curling further into Renjun’s chest for solace.

Part of you felt pathetic for crying in front of seven men you barely knew—especially over someone who hadn’t even given you the chance to explain your side before painting you as the villain. You knew your actions hadn’t been the most rational and that you should’ve at least talked to Minhyuk. But you’d been too desperate to think straight.

On the other hand, you couldn’t deny how comforted you felt in Renjun’s arms. You never thought you’d find solace in a stranger, but here you were. Feeling something so deep and reassuring, you dared to think that Minhyuk had never made you feel this way.

“I’m sorry, guys…” you mumbled, your voice muffled against Renjun’s chest but still loud enough for the others to hear.

"You don’t have to apologize. He was a complete jerk; it’s not your fault," Mark reassured you, sitting down on the floor beside you.

“It kind of is. I left him at the altar…” you lamented, sniffing as your eyes began to burn again, threatening another wave of relentless tears. Unable to hold it back, you buried your face in Renjun’s chest once more.

“Like you said yourself, you weren’t feeling good about it. You just did what you thought was best for you at the time. And you did the right thing. You don’t have to blame yourself for anything,” Jeno’s calm voice chimed in as he walked closer.

“Exactly. If he had any sense, he would’ve listened to you. Seriously, it’s been, what, a day? And he’s already pulling this ridiculous stunt?” Haechan added, placing a comforting hand on your back and rubbing it gently.

“Yeah… It’s almost like he’s trying to gain something out of all this…” Chenle speculated, suspicion evident in his tone.

Before you realized it, you were surrounded by all of them, each radiating care and concern.

“I’ve already told her she’s not to blame, but does she listen to me? Nope,” Renjun teased lightly, his fingers running through your hair. “Can we all agree now that he’s not worth it? Look at you—here you are, crying your heart out over a guy who doesn’t even deserve it.” His hand slipped down to cup your cheek, gently tilting your face up so he could meet your eyes. His gaze held you captive, and gradually, your tears began to subside.

“Yep. Men are trash,” Jisung quipped with a disdainful shrug.

“Hey, let’s not get carried away,” Jeno protested, feigning offense.

“What? I’m a man who doesn’t like men. And I’ll say this—I always support women in their rights and wrongs!” Jisung’s dramatic declaration earned a genuine laugh from you, breaking the trance Renjun’s gaze had put you in. Smiling, you buried your face back into his chest, feeling a little lighter.

“Are you rooting against your own team, you idiot?” Mark tossed a pillow at Jisung, who dodged it effortlessly.

“Oh, as if you don’t use that same line to flirt with girls,” Jisung shot back, smirking. Mark’s expression turned red, especially with you in the room. Without a word, he began chasing Jisung around the living room, carefully avoiding the cats scattered on the floor.

“Hey, I have a genuine question,” Jaemin called out, grabbing your attention. “Is it true that women like pathetic men?”

You burst out laughing at his so-called “genuine” question. “Not all, but yeah, a lot of them do,” you replied, resting your head against Renjun’s shoulder while glancing around. Mark had paused his pursuit of Jisung, looking intrigued by the conversation.

“Hmm… are you one of them?” Haechan asked slyly, clearly attempting to flirt. His comment made Renjun visibly flustered, prompting him to swat at Haechan in irritation.

“Alright, alright, my bad! Forgot she’s yours,” Haechan teased with a mischievous grin. The comment made Renjun’s eyes widen, his cheeks flushing a deep red.

“Yours?” you repeated, sitting up straight as you smirked. You weren’t offended at all; in fact, you found it amusing. Of course, you didn’t take the comment seriously, but you couldn’t resist playing along. “Am I yours?” you asked again, leaning closer to Renjun, watching as he became even more flustered.

The other boys were barely holding in their laughter, enjoying the sight of their friend practically melting into the couch.

“You know they’re just… messing around,” Renjun mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper, clearly embarrassed. Mentally, he vowed to get back at Donghyuck as soon as you left the room.

You turned your attention to Haechan, who still wore a mischievous smirk. Whatever comeback he was planning was cut short by the sound of the doorbell.

Startled, you stood up quickly, inadvertently putting too much pressure on your injured foot. Pain shot through your sole, causing you to wince sharply. The boys immediately noticed, their expressions shifting to concern. Before your legs could give out entirely, Jaemin stepped in, wrapping an arm around your waist to steady you.

The doorbell rings again, and Mark is the one who goes to answer it. He barely has time to register who’s at the door before the man barges in, pushing the door—and whoever was behind it—aside, frantically looking for his younger sister, desperate for news about her. He scans the room, and the relief on his face is almost tangible.

“Oh my God, you’re okay!” he exclaims with a smile but quickly notices her pained expression. Jungwoo swiftly moves to kneel in front of you. His eyes catch Jaemin’s hand still resting on your waist, and he shoots him a deadly glare, making the younger man withdraw immediately. “What happened?” His tone and demeanor shift dramatically.

“I hurt my foot while running away from the wedding,” you explain quickly.

“Sorry about him; he was just worried,” Joy apologizes, still standing by the door. Mark invites her in, and she thanks him, stepping closer to the group. “I had to bring him. He was with me when you called,” she explains, feeling the need to clarify since she’d never intended to reveal your location to anyone.

“It’s fine, better here than… causing trouble,” you mutter, referring to someone who shouldn’t be mentioned now.

“I wasn’t going to cause trouble,” Jungwoo defends himself, stroking Lucy, who has found comfort resting against his legs. “I just wanted to have an honest conversation, you know, man-to-man.” Both Joy and you exchange tired looks.

“Even you don’t believe that,” she counters, shaking her head. “Anyway, I’m Joy, and this is Jungwoo. It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” she introduces herself warmly. Behind you, you hear a sigh and turn to see the smitten faces of Chenle and Haechan.

“You better not even get it started; she’s married,” you whisper, and their attention snaps back to you.

“To your brother?” Haechan asks curiously, still unable to take his eyes off the older woman. He doesn’t notice the disgusted face you make at the absurd suggestion.

“Who cares? It’s better to compete with one than with a hundred,” Chenle quips but quickly glances at his friend with mild disdain. “Or two…” Hearing this nonsense, you toss a pillow at the Chinese boy, though the older one is smart enough to dodge your attack.

“I’m Renjun,” Huang says, standing up and offering a handshake to both Joy and Jungwoo.

“Wow, you were right…” Joy glances at you but then focuses on the younger man in front of her. She studies his delicate and attractive features, smiling, which flusters Renjun.

Her comment makes you nervous too. Thank goodness she didn’t give any context!

“Well, I hope you don’t mind if we don’t stick around,” Jungwoo announces, getting to his feet. “We need to take you to the hospital, and missy, you’re staying at my place.” He helps you stand up.

“Hospital?” you ask, alarmed. You’ve always hated hospitals—they smell bad, are full of sick people, and worst of all, they hurt you more before they heal you.

“Yes, ma’am. Who knows what you stepped on?” Jungwoo says in a firm tone, making you pout. You always feel like a naughty child when he talks to you like that. It takes you back to the days when your father would scold you for every little thing you did as a child.

“Fine,” you agree reluctantly, though it’s not like you have much of a choice.

Before leaving, you grabbed the dress. You needed to return it to the designer. You weren’t going to wear that piece again—not when you were no longer marrying the man you once thought was right for you. As you looked at the dress, anger surged within you. Anger at having almost entrusted your life to someone who, at the first opportunity, threw you to the wolves. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what people were saying, what your family was thinking, and honestly, you didn’t want to. You had already punished yourself enough in the span of one day—you needed a break.

You said goodbye to Renjun, the boys, and, of course, the kittens, with a promise to return and spend much more time with them. They seemed to like you so much.

At the moment, Jungwoo was driving to Joy’s house because you refused to go to the hospital before changing clothes. Renjun’s clothes were comfortable, and you loved them, but they weren’t exactly suitable for being out in public. Joy sat beside you, scrolling through social media, looking for reactions to Minhyuk’s important statement. Her expression was unreadable, which only made you more uneasy.

Noticing your agitation, she spoke up: “Jungwoo, why don’t you explain to your sister why she can’t go back home?” Her attention shifted, now interested in what your older brother had to say.

“Earlier, I went to our parents’ house, and Hajoon was impossible.” His words startled you—not so much because of the situation, which you’d already expected, but because he referred to your father by his name.

“Hajoon…” you murmured, and Jungwoo glanced at you through the rearview mirror. “Why?”

Your father had always been stern and struggled to show affection to you and your brother, especially you. For some reason, you had always been very attached to him. You wanted him to host tea parties, play with your dolls, and even help you choose outfits on special occasions. But this often irritated him, as he came home exhausted from long days at work. You would still pester him, asking him to sit on the floor and pretend that the sink water was tea and that your dolls could talk.

Most times, he’d refuse, but after your insistence, he would grow even more irritated, leading to shouting matches. That’s when Jungwoo would step in—your protector, your knight in shining armor. Time and again, he argued with your father on your behalf. He had long ago accepted that your father wasn’t interested in spending time with you both. But you didn’t understand that and kept going back, hoping for more. Jungwoo was never particularly close to Hajoon, but he still respected him and always called him “Dad.”

Now, hearing Jungwoo refer to him by his name felt like a punch in the gut. What have I done…?

“He said he was going to disown you and kick you out of the family, so I disowned myself too,” Jungwoo said, smiling faintly as if to soften the blow.

“Jungwoo, this has nothing to do with you, for God’s sake,” you scolded, watching him pull a face.

“Of course it does. You’re my sister—I’ll stand by you anywhere, anytime.” You gave him a small smile, squeezing his shoulder. “And honestly, who even wants to be that man’s son? Let’s be real. If it weren’t for mom, we’d have spent our childhood in a boarding school. I couldn’t care less about giving up being a Kim,” he finished, turning his face away in a huff.

“You know you can’t change your brother’s mind,” Joy chimed in, still focused on her phone.

“Yeah… but it makes me think that in twenty-one years, he’s finally stopped pretending to care. He’s not even trying to fake it anymore…” You felt the tears welling up again. “I guess you were right—Minhyuk and Dad really do think the same way.”

Jungwoo’s heart clenched painfully. Why did you have to be so attached to a man who had never valued you? Why did you have to love him so deeply when he hadn’t returned even a fraction of that pure, boundless affection?

Joy wrapped her arms around you in a warm embrace, comforting you. She glanced forward, trying to read Jungwoo’s expression as he clenched his jaw and gripped the steering wheel tightly. If letting him near your father before was risky, now that Hajoon had made you cry, there was no way the two of them could be in the same room.

Against your brother’s protests about freshening up, the first thing you did upon arriving at his house was grab your phone and hurry to the bedroom—or at least move as quickly as you could with your injured foot. You had already asked Joy for Renjun’s number, and she gave it to you without hesitation.

And now, here you are: sitting on the bed, talking to Renjun.

“And how are you doing? I mean, with the whole situation, you know?”

“I’m still processing everything and… planning my revenge.”

“Revenge? Look, I know what he did was awful, and I’d definitely want to punch his face in, but revenge?”

“Renjun, in this world—even though I’m not exactly ‘public’—reputation still matters. And he destroyed mine. Of course, I’m going to get even! Now, enjoy yourself with the boys. I have to convince Jungwoo that I don’t need to go to the hospital. Take care.”

Without waiting for his response, you lock your phone and toss it onto the bed before standing. Just as you were about to leave the room, your brother appeared, knocking twice to announce himself before opening the door. You sighed and sat back down on the bed.

“Don’t be like that, little doll. I only want what’s best for you,” he said, crouching in front of you.

“I know, but I’m fine now. The cut isn’t deep, and Renjun took great care of it,” you explained, crossing your arms and watching as your brother’s expression turned curious.

“Why don’t you tell me more about this Renjun, huh?” Jungwoo stood, plopping down on the bed next to you and pulling you down to lie beside him. “You two seemed close. I mean, all of them did…” His gaze fell on you, eyebrows furrowed. “Was it them you—”

“No! Shut up, Jungwoo!” You slapped a hand over his mouth to silence him. “Actually, I only met him yesterday. He almost ran me over…” you said, smiling fondly at the memory of meeting the Chinese boy. You predicted your brother’s reaction and cut him off before he could begin a lecture, just like Joy had tried. “Save your breath. Renjun was incredibly kind and respectful to me. I know it was reckless… going to a stranger’s house, but I was desperate, and he seemed trustworthy.”

Jungwoo opened his mouth again, only for you to interrupt him once more. “And I was right! Don’t start with that either. I think I’m old enough to have learned my lesson, Woo.” You fixed your gaze on a spot on the ceiling.

“How do you do that?” he asked, horrified, looking at you strangely.

“I know you too well. And it’s not just that—you and Joy are like the same person. Seriously,” you teased, making him laugh as he folded his arms behind his head.

The room fell into silence, with both of you staring at the gray ceiling. You were both thinking about the same thing, though in different ways. You wanted to take down Minhyuk—subtly, little by little. This public fallout had already gone too far, and the last thing you wanted was to worsen the situation for your family. You couldn’t even bring yourself to check social media, too afraid of what people might be saying.

Jungwoo, on the other hand, had already asked Joy about it and knew things weren’t looking good. While a fair number of people were on your side, others were saying cruel things. He preferred to shield you from it. As for Minhyuk, it was best to keep him far away. If Jungwoo had the chance, he might send him to the hospital—and that would only escalate everything, especially for you.

“So… what do you plan to do now? About the… situation…” he asked gently, turning his head to look at you. He was trying to tread carefully, unsure of how much this had hurt you.

“I don’t know yet, but I’m dying to give him what he deserves,” you said, still staring at the same spot on the ceiling. “I just need some time and to see how much traction his idiotic speech is getting.” You sighed, sitting up and looking back at him. “I hope you brought my clothes.”

“There are some you left here. I didn’t grab anything from Mom’s house because Hajoon already blew up when I took your documents. Imagine if I walked out with a suitcase.” He sighed, mirroring yours. “But if you want, I can ask Joy to buy some more for you.”

“No, that’s fine, Woo. Thanks.” You stood, and so did he.

“Tomorrow, I’m going to talk to our parents, whether they like it or not,” you declared, heading to the bathroom. “I just need this foot to heal so I can wear my heels again. I hope I left a few pairs here,” you muttered to yourself, making your brother laugh at your priorities.

Soon after, he left the room to give you some privacy.

Downstairs, Jungwoo found Joy on the phone. The moment she noticed him, she abruptly ended the call, making him narrow his eyes in suspicion.

“What was that about?” he asked, his tone laced with curiosity.

“Nothing for you to worry about,” she replied quickly, locking her phone and crossing her arms. “How is she?” Joy asked, clearly trying to change the subject.

Jungwoo hesitated, still suspicious of her sudden behavior.

“Come on, Jungwoo, it was just an unnecessary call. Don’t stress over it,” she pressed, raising a brow as if daring him to challenge her.

“Huh. She’s doing fine. And if I know her well, she’s already plotting something against that jerk. Honestly, I don’t blame her.” Jungwoo walked to the kitchen, grabbed a glass, and filled it with water. He offered it to Joy, but she declined. “Oh, and she said she’s planning to go to mom and Hajoon’s place tomorrow.” He caught himself mid-sentence, quickly correcting how he addressed his father, and took a big gulp of water, visibly restless.

“Jungwoo, you really need to stop worrying so much about her. She’s a grown woman now,” Joy said, her voice calm but firm.

“She might be grown, but she’s still, and always will be, my little sister, Joy. I’ll never stop worrying. I just need... to figure out how to adjust.” He refilled his glass and exhaled deeply.

It wasn’t that he thought Hajoon would harm you physically, but he couldn’t guarantee there wouldn’t be yelling or some harsh words thrown your way.

“Missing her already, lover boy?” Haechan’s teasing voice cut through the air, immediately getting under Renjun’s skin. He sighed loudly, scrubbing a plate with more force than necessary.

“Shut your mouth, Donghyuck, or I’ll throw this plate at your face,” Renjun snapped, making Haechan raise his hands in mock surrender while laughing. He went back to organizing the kitchen counter, but the grin never left his face.

Ever since you left, Renjun’s mood had noticeably shifted. He had grown quieter, barely engaging in conversations or reacting to jokes. It was obvious that something was bothering him, and Haechan, of course, couldn’t resist poking fun at it.

The only time Renjun seemed even remotely himself was when he looked at his phone. He had even smiled for a brief moment earlier. Jisung, ever the observer, caught a glimpse and quietly told the others that it was you he was texting. That small revelation earned knowing smiles from the group. However, as soon as the conversation ended, Renjun returned to his sulky demeanor.

“Come on, just admit it—you’re smitten with her, aren’t you?” Mark asked casually while drying the dishes.

“Is this what love at first sight looks like?” Jaemin chimed in from the living room, his voice dripping with mock curiosity.

“Oh, you’re one to talk about love, huh, Jaemin?” Renjun shot back irritably, referencing his friend’s own complicated situation. Jaemin muttered something inaudible, clearly embarrassed. “And no, I’m not smitten with her. I’m just worried. I’ve only known her for a day, but she’s my friend.”

“Damn, calling her ‘just a friend’ even stung me,” Haechan muttered under his breath, loud enough for Renjun to hear. In response, Renjun splashed water in his direction, silencing him.

“I’m serious. I’m just worried,” Renjun insisted. But even as he said it, his thoughts drifted to you. He couldn’t help but think about you, replaying every interaction in his mind. Was it possible to fall for someone so quickly? It didn’t make sense.

“Look at that—he’s thinking about her again,” Mark whispered to Haechan, both of them chuckling under their breath.

Renjun spun around, his patience wearing thin. “Why is my love life suddenly your favorite topic? Shouldn’t you two be more worried about your own, Haechan and Jaemin?”

“Oh, mine’s doing just fine, thanks for asking,” Jaemin quipped as he strutted into the kitchen, one of the kittens trailing behind him. “I’m handling things like a pro.” He crossed his arms smugly, flashing a self-satisfied grin.

Everyone exchanged skeptical looks.

“What? Why are you all looking at me like that?” Jaemin asked, confused, as the kitten let out a soft meow — almost as if it, too, was judging him.

“Seriously? ‘Handling it well?’ You break up with your girlfriend, and the first thing you do is go after her best friend?” Chenle asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

“The girl’s cool, and honestly, it’s just an unfortunate coincidence that she happens to be my ex’s best friend. Everything’s fine, though, guys,” Jaemin replied smoothly, but his laid-back attitude only earned more mocking looks from his friends.

“When Lyla finds out, she’ll probably cut the girl’s throat,” Jeno chimed in, joining the conversation.

“That’s the thing—she already knows, and she’s fine with it,” Jaemin explained confidently. Jeno raised a skeptical brow.

“I’m serious. Everything’s good,” Jaemin added with a casual shrug.

“Anyway, what about you, Haechan? Hooking up with your ex’s enemy?” The attention shifted to the younger Lee after Renjun pointed at him.

“Okay, I admit it wasn’t my most mature decision,” Haechan conceded, almost giving Renjun a point. “But she’s hot, and we’re having a lot of fun,” he added with a mischievous laugh, causing Mark, Jeno, Renjun, and Jisung to sigh in unison. The others, however, couldn’t help but laugh along, clearly enjoying the chaos.

“You’re all a bunch of idiots,” Renjun muttered under his breath, turning back to finish washing the dishes.

Standing in front of the mansion, you hesitated. You mentally replayed everything you planned to say, going over every possible reaction your parents might have when they saw you. It had been a day since Minhyuk’s infamous press conference, and, as promised, here you were—at your parents’ residence.

Taking a deep breath, you called out to the security guard.

“Miss Kim,” he greeted politely, and you gave him a brief, tight smile. You weren’t in the mood for pleasantries, but you weren’t going to be rude either. Making your way to the front door, you raised a hand to knock, but before you could, the door opened, revealing your mother.

You braced yourself. You expected her to yell, to reprimand you, and only then to offer comfort. But to your surprise, the moment her eyes landed on you, she pulled you into a warm embrace.

Katherine seemed eerily calm, and that unnerved you.

“Come in, sweetheart,” she said gently, guiding you into the house with a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “When we didn’t hear from you yesterday, I was worried sick. I feared the worst,” she confessed, stopping in front of you to cradle your face in her hands. “You can’t imagine the relief I felt when Joy told me you were okay.”

Joy. Of course, she had called your mother. You wanted to be annoyed, or at least curious, but deep down, you knew she had done it out of concern for your well-being.

“I thought you’d be angry,” you murmured softly, sadness lacing your voice. Katherine smiled faintly.

“Oh, my darling, I was,” she admitted, her tone firm for a moment, making you glance at her warily. But then it softened again, washing away your anxiety. “But when Joy explained what happened... I understood. And I’m so sorry, Peanut,” she said, using your childhood nickname and brushing your cheek with the back of her hand. “I admit, when Minhyuk’s parents proposed the idea, I agreed without much thought. I didn’t think you’d feel pressured, especially since Minhyuk seemed to agree so readily. I thought you two were on the same page.”

You frowned, confusion clouding your expression.

“What do you mean? He knew about it from the start?” you asked, shocked. You had only found out about the whole arrangement—the merger of families and businesses—after the wedding.

“Yes…?” Your mother looked just as confused. “He was at the meeting. He said he’d discussed it with you and that you only weren’t there because you had plans with your friends.”

That was the last straw. Anger surged through you, your expression hardening.

“It’s fine, Mom,” you said curtly, ending the topic. “Thanks for worrying, but as you can see, I’m fine. I didn’t come here to talk about this. I’m guessing you already know what I want to discuss.”

Katherine sighed, straightening her posture and nodding.

“Is dad home?”

“In his office.” You turned to leave, but she grabbed your wrist, stopping you.

“Sweetheart, your father is furious, especially after Minhyuk’s press conference. Are you sure you want to do this today?” she asked, her eyes searching yours.

“Before I share my side of the story, I need to talk to both of you. I’m not putting this off. My image is being destroyed because of your ‘golden boy,’ and I don’t care if dad’s mad. Believe me, I’m much angrier.”

You pulled your arm free from her grasp and marched toward your father’s office, determination blazing in your every step.

The dark doors burst open with a sudden force, cutting Hajoon's phone call short. He immediately ended the call as soon as his ungrateful daughter appeared in his office. Behind you was your mother, following closely, though she didn’t seem angry at all—her calm demeanor puzzled Hajoon.

“What are you doing in this house? You are not welcome here,” he snapped, rising from his seat. Your father was an imposing figure—his height, stern face, and booming voice could intimidate anyone. But you didn’t flinch. You were tired.

Katherine quickly moved to his side, trying to calm him down. She could see his rage building and wanted to prevent things from escalating.

“I just came to grab a few things and ask your opinion, dear father, about that sleazy Lee’s speech. And, of course, I’d like to know how you manage to be so… miserable, rejecting your children the way you do,” you retorted, your tone dripping with mockery. The bitter taste of rejection filled your mouth. You wanted to say more, to hurl years’ worth of pain at him, but you restrained yourself. Being painted as the traitor was bad enough; you didn’t need to be the hysterical one too.

“Reject? My behavior is proportional to yours!” His voice grew louder. “I gave you everything, girl. To you and your brother! And this is how you repay me? First, you run away from the marriage I invested money, partnerships, and countless hours planning, only to have you throw it all away. Then, I find out—on national television—that you’ve been cheating on Minhyuk all along?” His tone was mocking, incredulous at the allegations. “And your brother? He made his choice when he sided with you. You are the disgrace of this family, Kim Y/N!” he roared, the final sentence echoing like a thunderclap.

“Disgrace? Because we didn’t bend to your whims?” you shouted back, matching his intensity. Both your father and mother looked stunned.

It wasn’t like you to yell or confront him. That role was usually reserved for Jungwoo. You had always been the obedient daughter—the good girl who caused no trouble, accepted everything without complaint, and kept her head down. But not anymore. Being the perfect daughter had gotten you nowhere.

“I’ve had enough,” you said, your voice calmer but no less firm. You stood tall, meeting his glare. “I’m done being the good little girl you always wanted me to be. You’re not worth it.”

He opened his mouth to respond, furious, but you cut him off.

“Shut up. I’m not finished,” you snapped, and both your parents’ eyes widened at your audacity. Hajoon’s fury only deepened.

“I’m done chasing after you, begging for scraps of love from the father I once adored. Look at me—where did being the perfect daughter, always silent, always obedient, get me? I said shut up!” You were beyond caring now. To hell with hysteria, to hell with family unity, to hell with Hajoon and his oppressive control.

“When have I ever done something for myself? Ballet, friendships, schools, even college—it was all for you. I’ve always obeyed, and this is how you treat me? My happiness has never mattered to you, Hajoon. To you, Jungwoo and I were never more than heirs to your empire. And now, the moment I do something for myself—fight for my happiness—I’m suddenly the disgrace of the family?” You laughed bitterly, running a hand through your hair, your blood boiling with rage.

“And you think, because you gave me ‘everything,’ including an amazing mother—one of the only things I can thank you for—you know me so well? You should know I’d never betray someone.”

“Funny you say that. That argument died the moment you walked out of this house two days ago. What guarantee do I have that you’re not just a slut who’ll sleep with anyone?”

The sharp crack of your hand across his face echoed through the room. His eyes widened in disbelief at what just happened.

“You will never speak to her like that again, Hajoon,” your mother’s voice broke the tense silence. Her eyes burned with a fury you had never seen, not even when Jungwoo and you accidentally ruined her expensive painting. Katherine’s breathing was ragged, her anger barely contained.

“Not only are you questioning my daughter’s character, but you’re also insulting my worth as a mother. If you ever say something like that again, I swear I’ll do something I’ll regret,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Enough. You are not my father. You never were. Jungwoo was right to abandon you at the first opportunity. You’re lucky to still have Mom, because as far as your children are concerned, you have none,” you declared, turning your back on him. “Not that you wanted us anyway, right?” you added bitterly, storming out of the room.

Your mother called after you, her voice pleading, but you ignored her, quickening your pace to leave the house. You had even given up on retrieving your belongings. You wanted nothing from that man—not his money, not his name, not his legacy.

It had been hours since you left your parents’ house, and the sun was beginning to set.

Since walking out, you had wandered the streets, lost in thought. Memories flooded your mind—everything that had happened before the wedding, during the preparations, and everything that had led to your current situation.

A soft knock on your bedroom door broke your reverie. You were finishing getting ready, spritzing on perfume and checking your bag one last time.

Katherine entered after you gave her permission, stepping inside with a proud smile.

“Minhyuk is waiting for you in the living room,” she announced warmly. She was proud of you, proud that you were taking steps to focus on your life and find clarity—even in your relationships.

Unlike Jungwoo, who buried himself in work and showed no interest in any of the daughters of the family’s business partners, you had decided to give Minhyuk a chance. You had met him at one of the many charity events his father hosted. As usual, you and Jungwoo were dragged to these events to present the image of a happy, business-minded family, destined to inherit the empire.

At the start of the evening, you and Jungwoo greeted the hosts before being promptly abandoned by your parents, who left to socialize and discuss business with other guests. Jungwoo wanted to catch up with a friend but hesitated to leave you alone. Only after you assured him it was fine did he finally leave, while you wandered off to distract yourself with the appetizers at the party since you weren’t allowed to drink yet.

“You might like this one; the dough is made from potatoes,” a male voice interrupted your thoughts. You turned to see who it was. You recognized him—he was the son of one of your father’s friends.

“Thank you...” you murmured shyly, feeling slightly uneasy under his persistent gaze.

“I’m Minhyuk. It’s a pleasure,” he introduced himself, extending his hand. When you hesitantly offered yours, he brought it to his lips, leaving a soft kiss on your delicate skin.

Later, you asked your mother to clasp the necklace around your neck, and she happily obliged. As you looked up from your purse to the mirror, you caught sight of her face beaming with pride.

“I’m so proud of you, you know?” she said, resting her chin on your shoulder and gently adjusting your hair. “It makes me happy to see you giving someone from our circle a chance. Do you think he can make you happy?”

You hesitated for a moment. It was too soon to tell—after all, you had only met him two weeks ago, and tonight was your first official date. But if he continued behaving as he had been, you were sure the answer would be yes.

“I think so, mom…” you replied, smiling.

“Good. That’s all that matters,” she said, brushing your arms affectionately. “Now go, don’t keep him waiting!” Katherine encouraged you, handing you your purse before ushering you out.

As you descended the stairs, you could hear two male voices, which you quickly identified as your father and Minhyuk. The moment they noticed your presence, both turned to face you with smiles. Lee Minhyuk always had a certain sparkle in his eyes whenever you were the center of his attention, but tonight... it felt even more intense. His gaze glimmered like that of a tiger.

But you weren’t happy. Far from it.

You couldn’t believe you had trusted that man. Fury surged through you as you abruptly stood from the bench, slinging your purse over your shoulder. With purposeful strides, your heels clicked loudly against the floor, echoing your growing anger.

“Y/N?” A familiar male voice called out. Turning around, you saw Jeno approaching, his smile widening as he recognized you. “Oh, wow, you look… different,” he remarked, gesturing to your outfit.

You were wearing a sleeveless white dress with a V-neckline, paired with white high heels, a light blue purse, and a matching headband that swept your hair back. It was nothing like the casual clothes you had worn the day you first met.

“Yeah, I look less... Renjun,” you said with a smile. Though the mention of the Chinese boy brought a genuine smile to your face, the scowl on your features remained evident, prompting Jeno to frown slightly.

“Is everything okay? You seem upset. Is this about your... ex-fiancé?” he asked cautiously. But the mere mention of Minhyuk made you roll your eyes.

“I think so...” you muttered with a pout before resuming your stride, expecting him to follow.

“It’s just... the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced this was Minhyuk’s plan all along,” you whispered. With every passing thought, the pieces fell into place.

“Jeno!” you suddenly stopped, startling the boy as you grabbed his shoulders and locked eyes with him. “Will you help me?” Your gaze was full of hope, but Jeno averted his eyes, sighing.

“Why is it always me...” he muttered in defeat.

You squealed, throwing your arms around his neck. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around your waist, silently agreeing to assist you. For a fleeting moment, Jeno thought he heard the faint click of a camera shutter, but he dismissed it.

Later that day, you were getting ready to visit Arin’s house. You needed to explain everything to her. After Joy, she was your closest friend. Following your conversation with Jeno and the partial formulation of your plan, you felt a glimmer of hope. Jeno would gather evidence against Minhyuk, you would hold a press conference to clear your name, and everything would fall into place. You’d prove your innocence to everyone—including your parents, though you hardly cared about their opinion—and finally, this ordeal would end.

Or so you thought, until the intercom buzzed.

Picking up the receiver, you heard the doorman’s voice. “Miss Kim, the young man from yesterday is here again. Shall I let him up?” You immediately agreed, knowing the only “young man” from yesterday was Jeno. Placing the receiver back down, you headed to the living room. A few moments later, a knock sounded at the door. Opening it, you found Jeno, looking flustered and out of breath.

“Oh no, what happened?” you asked, equal parts concerned and irritated.

“Have you seen the news?” he asked, pulling his phone from his pocket and scrolling to find what he wanted to show you.

“No, I don’t use social media, and I turned off my phone after leaving my parents’ house,” you admitted, your tone laced with anxiety. You rushed to retrieve your phone from the apartment.

When the screen lit up, it displayed a barrage of missed calls and messages—from your mother, father, Joy, Jungwoo, Jisung, Changbin, Arin, Minhyuk, and... Renjun? Ignoring the others, you opened Renjun’s chat, the crease between your brows deepening.

“You never told me you knew Jeno... or that you were with him after that day. I just hope your ex-fiancé isn’t right about you. If he is... I’ll hate myself for helping a traitor, especially with one of my best friends. What a mess...”

It was clear he was upset. Not that he had any right to meddle in your life, but still, you had considered him a friend. Didn’t he feel the same? And what was he even talking about?

Swallowing hard, you turned to Jeno, who sighed and handed you his phone.

“It seems the heiress of the Kim Group—the cosmetics giant—was indeed having an affair during her engagement to Minhyuk Lee. And the alleged lover? None other than Jeno Lee, the former heir to another enormous brand—”

You stopped reading. Your head throbbed. You couldn’t believe this was happening. The barrage of calls and messages from your parents and Minhyuk already worried you, but now, knowing the potential cause, you were furious. You hadn’t even realized the article was from yesterday, shortly after you had hugged Jeno to solidify your plan.

“I knew I shouldn’t have ignored that sound…” Jeno muttered, running a hand down his face in frustration. “Even my parents called me. My parents, who haven’t spoken to me since I gave up the inheritance,” he added bitterly. “And they congratulated me...” He continued ranting, oblivious to your simmering rage.

All you could feel was hatred. The world around you blurred, and Jeno’s words became distant noise. Nothing mattered except resolving this mess. You weren’t going to wait any longer. If Minhyuk wanted a showdown, you’d give him one.

“Forget the plan. Forget everything. I’ll handle this myself,” you declared, your voice trembling with anger. You didn’t even bother finishing your makeup or applying perfume. Instead, you grabbed your bag and keys, storming out, with Jeno scrambling to keep up.

“What are you planning to do? Hey, slow down!” he called, squeezing into the elevator beside you.

“I’m going straight to Minhyuk. If his goal was to infuriate me, congratulations to him—he succeeded. I’m not going to let him destroy what’s left of my reputation. One question, Jeno—do you have your car?” He nods hesitantly, swallowing hard. As the elevator doors open, you stride into the parking lot with determined, forceful steps, not even knowing which car belongs to Jeno.

“Over here,” he calls from the opposite direction. “God… please don’t let this woman make me crash my car…” he mutters under his breath, eyes closed, opening the passenger door for you.

At the bridal shop where Renjun worked, his melancholic mood was impossible to miss, even for Hyunjin, his coworker and friend. Renjun had been so out of sorts that he couldn’t even tend to customers properly and was relegated to handling the cash register.

“All right, what’s going on?” Hyunjin asked directly, taking advantage of the quiet lull in the shop, where it was just the two of them for the moment.

“Nothing.” Renjun kept his response short, still scribbling idly in his sketchbook. Hyunjin let out an incredulous laugh and snatched the notebook from his hands.

“Listen here, Huang Renjun. Your sulking is dragging down your energy and the whole vibe of the shop. You’re supposed to be the charming designer who makes brides feel excited about their special day, but instead, you’re spreading your dark cloud of misery everywhere.” He wagged a finger in mock reprimand, while Renjun pouted in annoyance. “Look at this!” Hyunjin gestured dramatically at the small flower pot on the counter. “Even the flowers are wilting!”

“It’s just a bad day, Hyunjin. Leave me alone,” Renjun muttered, stretching his hand out to retrieve the sketchbook, but Hyunjin held it out of reach.

“Give it back, Hyunjin.”

“Nope,” Hyunjin replied smugly, tilting his head as he kept the notebook away.

Just as Renjun moved to chase after his friend, the door to the shop opened. He froze in surprise as Mark and Jaemin walked in, both holding coffee cups.

“What are you two doing here?” Renjun asked, perplexed.

“We were nearby and decided to check on you,” Jaemin explained, handing an extra coffee to Renjun, while Mark offered his to Hyunjin.

“You guys really need to stop treating me like some kid who needs constant babysitting,” Renjun grumbled as he sipped his drink.

“So, you’re not upset about the news involving her?” Mark asked, raising an eyebrow. Hyunjin’s eyes lit up with curiosity.

“Ooh, who’s ‘her’?” he teased, earning a deadly glare from Renjun as he snatched his notebook back. “Rude,” Hyunjin muttered.

“She’s Renjun’s girlfriend,” Jaemin announced with a grin, making Renjun’s face flush instantly.

“You never told me you had a girlfriend!” Hyunjin gasped in mock offense.

“She’s not my girlfriend! She’s just a friend—I’ve told you a thousand times,” Renjun snapped, clearly irritated, not just with their intrusion into his workplace but with the reminder of the tabloid article showing you and Jeno hugging. That photo. The way Jeno’s hands rested on your waist. Almost as if he were holding you in a way that was… intimate. Just thinking about it made Renjun’s blood boil. And the worst part? He didn’t even know why.

“Renjun,” Mark began, “you got upset when you saw her with Jeno. You were down when she left your house.”

“And, out of twenty thoughts you have a day, twenty of them are about her,” Jaemin chimed in. “You think we didn’t notice how soft and caring you were with her? Just admit it—love at first sight is real, and you miss her because you like her.”

Renjun blinked, the words hitting him harder than he expected, but he shook his head. “I refuse to take relationship advice from either of you… or Haechan.” He sighed, grabbing his coffee and notebook as he stood. “Hyunjin, take over the register—I’m taking my lunch break.”

“Hey! Of all of us, I had the longest relationship!” Jaemin shouted after him.

“That doesn’t count if she was crazy!” Renjun retorted. “And I’ve said it before—you two have the most messed-up love lives of all seven of us.”

Jaemin turned to Mark and Hyunjin, offended. “Did you hear that? I don’t have a messed-up love life…”

“Oh sure,” Mark smirked. “Breaking up with your girlfriend so you could date her best friend? Totally healthy.”

“I broke up with her,” Jaemin said as if it were obvious. “Better than cheating—I still have my principles!”

“Sure, Jaemin. We’ll revisit this tomorrow.” Mark sighed, turning to leave.

“And no one’s going to tell me about Renjun’s girl?” Hyunjin complained.

Mark and Jaemin exchanged a glance and grinned.

“Mind your own business, Hyunjin,” Mark said, walking out.

“A man with too much time on his hands…” Jaemin muttered, chuckling as Hyunjin’s grumbled curses followed them out.

After navigating Jeno’s car with hurried directions and nearly causing a crash, you both arrived at your family’s company. Predictably, Minhyuk was with Hajoon.

The guards blocked you at the entrance.

“Excuse me?” you asked, incredulous.

“Apologies, ma’am. We have explicit orders not to let you in,” one of them said firmly.

Jeno placed a hand on your shoulder. “Y/N, we should leave.”

You shook him off. “If you don’t let me in, I’ll cause a scene that’ll cost both of you your jobs. I may be disinherited, but my mother—who owns half of this company—would love to hear about this.”

The guards hesitated, fear flashing in their eyes, but they held their ground. Just as you inhaled to raise your voice, a familiar voice cut in.

“Stop this nonsense. Let them through.”

Amy—your father’s assistant—had always been kind. Like your mother, she never bought into Minhyuk’s lies.

“But, ma’am—” one guard began, but she silenced him.

“Do as I said. Mr. Kim is expecting them.”

As the guards stepped aside, you hurried to Amy’s side.

“You’re here for Minhyuk, aren’t you?” she asked as you moved toward the elevator.

“‘Here for’ is putting it lightly,” you muttered.

“She’s joking,” Jeno cut in quickly. “No hitting anyone today.”

Amy chuckled. “A good choice in company,” she teased, making both of you flush.

“We’re just—”

“Friends,” you both said simultaneously.

Ah, young love, Amy thought, smiling knowingly.

The silence between you was almost deafening, broken only by the soft background music that played in the room. As soon as the doors opened, Amy spoke up, her eyes wide with disbelief.

“He’s in your brother’s old office.”

“What?” Your frustration with Minhyuk had already been simmering from everything happening in your life, but now… your anger extended to your father as well.

“After your brother stepped down, he gave the office to... him. I’m sorry…” Amy trailed off. You didn’t respond, simply reached into your bag for your phone and marched straight toward the office.

Throwing the doors open with force, you startled Minhyuk, causing a few papers to flutter to the ground. He was reading over some contracts.

“Are you out of your mind?” he snapped, hurriedly gathering the documents before standing up.

“No, but you must be, testing the limits of my patience like this.” You weren’t one to raise your voice or pick fights. Confrontations had never been your style—until you rebelled against your father. And if you could go head-to-head with him, dealing with someone like Minhyuk was child’s play.

“Quite the audacity, don’t you think?” Minhyuk sneered, circling his desk to approach you, but Jeno swiftly stepped in front of him. “Ah, so now you’ve got a guard dog too?” He laughed mockingly. “You barge into my office with your little lover in tow... truly lacking decorum.”

The room fell into a heavy silence. You needed a moment to process his words. The tension between Jeno and Minhyuk thickened, the air practically vibrating with animosity. Then your laughter rang out, shattering the quiet. Both men turned to you, confused.

“Do you really think slandering me will get you what you want, Minhyuk? The company? Hajoon’s share? Because, let me assure you, my mother’s portion isn’t up for grabs.” Your smile didn’t waver. “I’ve figured out your plan, ever since my mother told me you attended the family meeting about the marriage and claimed I was on board with everything. Frankly, Minhyuk…” you sighed. “But this smear campaign? I’m curious—what’s your angle? Surely you’re not trying to turn the public against me for no reason… or are you?” You tilted your head, your eyes sparkling with amusement as they locked onto his. “Are you really that pathetic, trying to ruin a woman’s reputation just because she didn’t marry you?”

Jeno watched, perplexed, as you calmly dismantled Minhyuk’s facade. He didn’t fully understand your tactics, but one thing was certain—he wasn’t leaving you alone with this man. He barely knew him and wasn’t about to take chances.

“You think I’d let you walk away, all radiant and triumphant, after humiliating me like that?” Minhyuk’s voice quivered with barely controlled rage, his smirk gone. “You destroyed my career, my carefully laid plans. But if I destroy your reputation—turn everyone, even your parents, against you—I’ll get what I want. Your brother abandoned his post. You’d be disowned. It was the perfect plan. I didn’t expect you’d actually be cheating, though. Points for me—just look at who’s here.” He gestured at Jeno, who stood with arms crossed.

“Hey, jerk, keep running your mouth and I’ll make sure you end up in a hospital,” Jeno growled for the first time since entering the room. Minhyuk’s response was another derisive chuckle.

“Minhyuk,” you interrupted before the tension escalated further. A fight could wait — Jeno could send him to the hospital later if needed. “It doesn’t matter what you do. My mother controls most of the business, and guess what? She’s on my side.” You grabbed Jeno’s arm, leading him out. With a playful smirk, you blew Minhyuk a kiss. “I’d brace for a headline-worthy scandal this week!” you teased, winking before walking out.

“Care to explain?” Jeno asked as the elevator arrived.

You pulled your phone from your open bag, stopping the recording. “This, Jeno, is how I clean my name.” Your sly smile deepened as you bit your lower lip. The elevator doors closed, and you pressed the button for the ground floor. “A few months ago, I would have done nothing. I’d have waited for my mother or Jungwoo to handle it, as always.” You sighed, weariness weighing your voice. “But I’m done living like that. After this, I’m walking away. I’ll give up my inheritance, finish my degree, and leave this mess behind.” Bitterness lingered on your tongue as you spoke. The decision had barely settled in your mind, and already regret nipped at the edges of your resolve. How could you stay? How could you leave?

The car ride back was quiet until you reached for your phone, dialing Arin’s number.

“Finally, you’re alive! I had to call Joy to check if you were okay!” Her voice was a mix of relief and irritation, and you couldn’t blame her.

“Sorry, Arin. Everything exploded after the wedding. I’ve barely talked to anyone—just family, and now Minhyuk…” You rolled your eyes at the mention of his name.

“I saw his press conference online. What a psycho. Good thing you escaped. When I see him, though, I swear—”

You cut her off with a laugh. “I’m fine now. More than fine. But I called for a reason. I have an audio clip I need you to release. An article would be better, but a leak will do. Just make sure it hits the internet.” You sent her the file. “It’ll need some editing.”

Arin, a dedicated journalist for a respected firm, specialized in professional reporting. She’d climbed the ranks with sheer determination, earning her own column. Still, bending the rules for a friend didn’t hurt, right?

You heard her sharp intake of breath before she spoke again. “I can’t believe that scumbag.”

“And he won’t get away with it. Can you release it by the end of the week?” You knew it was a lot to ask—she was busy, and this wasn’t exactly her beat—but desperation called for boldness.

“Girl, I’ll get it out today!” The sound of furious typing reached your ears, filling you with hope. “I’m on it. But don’t think you’re getting away—I want the whole story later!” She hung up before you could even say goodbye. Honestly, how wasn’t she working for a gossip column?

Jeno glanced at your radiant smile. “I take it things went well?”

“They did,” you said, satisfaction lacing your voice as the car sped down the road.

"Yes! Arin is my friend, a journalist. She’s going to publish the audio along with a story. She said it might be out by today." Your enthusiasm was contagious.

"So, in the end, you didn’t even need me." He murmured playfully, feigning offense. His light-heartedness made you laugh as you squeezed his shoulder in gratitude.

"Oh, stop it. You were a huge help. If it weren’t for you, I might not have seen the article. And how else would I have confronted that weasel?" You smiled warmly at him, your eyes full of sincerity.

Night had fallen, bringing with it a weight of worry for Renjun. You hadn’t answered his messages, which was understandable given the accusations he had thrown at you—but Jeno wasn’t responding either. None of the guys, for that matter, and that only heightened his concern. The last update they had about Jeno was from that disastrous article, and it wasn’t like him to simply vanish.

A knock on the door made Renjun’s heart leap with hope, silently praying it was his friend. But nothing could have prepared him for what came next.

"I… came to return your clothes…" you murmured, lifting the bag. "And… maybe talk." You sounded far more timid than usual.

Renjun’s eyes didn’t leave you. Your style perfectly suited your figure, matching your personality in ways that had always mesmerized him. A smile tugged at his lips, and he stepped aside to invite you in.

"Look, I was a jerk in that message. I want to apologize." He closed the door behind you, his words rushed with guilt. "I didn’t mean to offend you like that. I was just… frustrated. I don’t even know why..."

You set the bag on a nearby shelf and approached him, a gentle smile on your face.

"I think I know why..." Your hand cupped his cheek in a soft, tender touch filled with warmth. "But… let me show you something first."

Reaching into your bag, you retrieved your phone, unlocked it, and turned it toward him.

It was Arin’s article. Published barely an hour ago, it was already going viral. Of course, your name, Jeno’s, and Minhyuk’s were at the heart of the buzz. Your lips curved into a proud smile—not just for yourself, but for your friend, who had pulled off this exposé in record time.

"See? He was lying. I’m not a traitor. I never even met Jeno before that day here."

Renjun’s gaze shifted from the screen to meet your eyes.

"I needed to show you, I—"

You were cut off as he pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms circling you with fierce protectiveness.

"I believe you," he murmured against your neck, his voice low and muffled. "I just got so upset because..." He pulled back, his eyes searching yours. "The thought of you with him… with anyone else, it tore me apart. And it’s crazy. I’m falling for you after only a day. I’m sorry." His voice cracked, tears pooling in his eyes. "I’ve never been a romantic, but… Jaemin said something about love at first sight. And now I feel like a fool."

You cupped his face, your thumbs brushing gently over his cheekbones. Drawing closer, you rubbed your nose affectionately against his cheek.

"Jun…" you whispered, his name dripping with tenderness, making his heart swell. "Jeno talked to me, too. I think he and Jaemin might be on the same wavelength." You giggled softly, running your fingers through his soft hair. "He told me about love at first sight, too. Opened my eyes. And he said a certain someone got all pouty after I left..."

You sang the words with teasing delight as you pulled away.

Renjun watched you with wonder, his lips curling into a shy, almost bashful smile as his cheeks flushed pink. That timid grin made your heart flutter, a sigh escaping your lips.

Unable to hold back any longer, you threw your arms around him once more, drawing his delicate face toward yours and pressing your lips against his.

For a moment, he was too stunned to react, but when it finally hit him, he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, pulling you closer until your bodies were flush together. The kiss was delicate, deliberate. Your fingers caressed the back of his neck as your lips moved in slow, perfect harmony with his. His hands slid beneath the hem of your short top, finding your bare skin. The warmth of his touch made you gasp softly.

"Jun..." you breathed his name, your voice trembling as his lips grazed your neck in slow, lingering kisses, each touch igniting a deeper burn beneath your skin. Your eyes remained shut, surrendering to the heat spreading through your body. Your fingers dug into his shoulders, desperate for something to anchor you as your knees turned weak beneath the onslaught of sensation.

"Don’t make me stop... please," he whispered against your skin, his breath hot and uneven as he inhaled your intoxicating scent. You tugged at his hair, and a groan rumbled low in his throat, sending a shiver straight to your core.

"Then take me to bed... your windows aren’t covered," you teased, your voice low and dripping with playful temptation. His lips curved into a wicked smile as his teeth grazed your pulse point, making your body shudder.

Renjun didn’t wait. He guided you with unsteady steps toward the guest bedroom—his own was too far, and he wouldn’t risk losing another moment. His hands roamed freely over you, sliding your blazer from your shoulders with unrestrained hunger, letting it fall forgotten to the floor. Your fingers traced the hard planes of his chest, reveling in the heat of his skin, before tugging impatiently at his shirt. He tore it off in one swift motion, baring himself to you, his gaze dark and full of desire.

You melted into the mattress beneath him as he lowered you down, his lips claiming yours again in a kiss that was raw, urgent, and unrelenting. His hand slipped beneath your skirt, gliding up your thigh with deliberate slowness, teasing you until his fingers brushed the damp heat between your legs.

"Are you sure I can?" His voice was hoarse, trembling with restraint as his eyes searched yours, wide and vulnerable, his lips swollen from your kisses. His hair fell messily across his forehead, making him heartbreakingly beautiful.

"Yes, Jun... I want you," you whispered without hesitation, your voice trembling with longing as your eyes stayed locked on his.

A soft curse fell from his lips as he slid his fingers beneath your panties, his touch finding you already slick with need. A groan of satisfaction escaped him as he felt your wetness, his fingers circling your swollen clit before slipping inside with aching precision. You gasped, arching into him, your fingers tangling in his hair as he worked you with practiced care, his hand moving with a rhythm designed to unravel you.

You rocked your hips into his hand, your body begging for more. He understood—oh, he understood perfectly—and his pace quickened, thrusting his fingers deeper, curling them just right. Pleasure coiled low in your belly, sharp and consuming, as your moans filled the room, each one pushing him higher with pride and lust.

The sound of your pleasure was everything. He had never felt so intoxicated, so lost in the power of making someone fall apart for him. You were his, and he would prove it over and over again, all night if he had to—until there was nothing left but the sound of his name on your lips.

Just as your orgasm hovered at the edge, his fingers withdrew. The sudden emptiness made you whimper in frustration, your body trembling, your eyes heavy with need. Renjun grinned, wicked and full of mischief, as he brought his glistening fingers to his mouth. His eyes never left yours as he tasted you, his tongue swirling around his fingertips with a hum of pure pleasure.

"Perfect," he murmured, his voice thick with reverence. You were his perfect indulgence, the sweetest addiction he’d ever known.

He made quick work of your shirt and panties, his gaze darkening as he took in your bare body. Heat crept into your cheeks, a flicker of shyness in your chest, but Renjun left no room for shame. His touch worshiped you, his eyes devoured you like you were a vision made for him alone.

He knelt between your thighs, spreading them gently but firmly. A sigh escaped him—deep, reverent—as he pressed a kiss to your pubic bone, savoring the moment before lowering himself further.

Then his mouth was on you.

His tongue licked a long, slow path through your folds, tasting every inch of you as though you were the rarest, most exquisite thing he had ever had the privilege of devouring. Your breath caught, and your fingers twitched in his hair, but you were too weak to hold on.

When he sucked your clit, just hard enough, your back arched, a cry ripping from your throat as your body convulsed. His name spilled from your lips, again and again, a chant, a prayer, a plea.

Renjun was relentless. The world faded. There was no time, no thought—only him, only pleasure, only the stars bursting behind your eyes as he unraveled you completely, again and again.

Your body trembled as the pressure within you built higher, the crest of your orgasm drawing nearer with every flick and swirl of his tongue. A desperate prayer echoed in your mind—please don’t stop, not again. He seemed to hear your unspoken plea. His tongue thrust deep inside you, curling, stroking with languid, deliberate intensity that made you whimper and moan in pure abandon.

The tension shattered, a wave of release crashing over you as bliss and calmness flooded every nerve. You cried out softly, your body melting into the mattress as the world dissolved into sensation. Renjun groaned against you, his tongue savoring the sweet, sticky essence of your pleasure. His lips and tongue worked meticulously, devouring you until there wasn’t a trace left, kissing the delicate skin of your thighs like a man utterly intoxicated.

He kissed his way upward, his mouth mapping a trail of reverent worship—across your trembling stomach, the curve of your breasts, until finally capturing your lips in a kiss so deep it stole your breath. The taste of yourself on his tongue only heightened the heat between you, making the kiss more intimate, more forbidden, more perfect.

“I don’t think I can live like before now that I’ve tasted you,” he murmured, his voice rough with desire.

A weak, breathless giggle escaped you as you basked in the afterglow. “You’ve made me your addiction.”

He chuckled, nipping at your neck, his lips brushing over your shoulders, leaving trails of warmth in his wake.

Your hands, still trembling, rested on his chest, feeling the rapid thrum of his heartbeat. With a playful push, you rolled him beneath you, straddling him. The spark in his eyes ignited, a mixture of amusement and pure, unfiltered desire lighting his face. The sight made your heart race—Renjun, so beautiful, so vulnerable, so yours.

You let your body tease you both, dragging your sore, sensitive core slowly over the hard ridge of his clothed arousal. The friction was electric, drawing a shared, shuddering moan from your lips as his hips bucked instinctively beneath you.

“God, you’re perfect,” he groaned, his voice heavy with need as his hands gripped your hips. He held you firmly but reverently, as if you were both fragile and the only thing keeping him tethered to earth.

Every movement of your body sent shockwaves through him, yet he refused to close his eyes. He couldn’t bear to miss a single second—the sight of your flushed, glowing skin, your parted lips still swollen from his kisses, and the way you writhed above him, utterly lost in your shared pleasure.

You moved together, lost in each other, and the world beyond you ceased to exist. There was only this—only him, only you, only the endless rhythm of need and passion and love.

When your movements stilled, Renjun let out a soft, frustrated whimper, his brows furrowing in need. But as he realized what you intended, his expression shifted—desire darkened his eyes as he lifted his hips to help you strip away the last barrier between you. His pants and underwear hit the floor with a soft thud, leaving him gloriously bare before you.

Your breath caught.

Renjun lay there, his chest heaving with shallow breaths, his skin glistening with a sheen of sweat that only heightened his beauty. Your gaze drifted lower, following the lines of his stomach until it settled on him—his cock, flushed and needy, the swollen tip already glistening with arousal. A bead of it pooled just above his navel, and the sight alone made your mouth water.

A soft sigh escaped your lips, part awe, part hunger.

You climbed onto the bed, your hands trembling slightly as they wrapped around his length, feeling the heat of him against your palm. He twitched at your touch, a strangled gasp leaving his mouth. Slowly, reverently, you leaned down, your tongue darting out to catch the trail of arousal that had dripped onto his skin. The taste of him sent a shiver down your spine—salty, heady, intoxicating.

You flicked your gaze upward, watching his face as you took him into your mouth. His eyes fluttered closed, his lips parting in a silent gasp. His fists clenched the sheets beneath him, his knuckles whitening as he fought to keep still when the tip of his cock brushed the back of your throat. The restraint, the tenderness, the pure, unselfish desire to never cause you harm made your heart thud wildly.

And then, unbidden, thoughts of Minhyuk crept into your mind—how selfish he had been, how little he had cared for your pleasure. The contrast was stark, almost cruel. Renjun’s passion, his overwhelming affection, his every action was a testament to how deeply he cherished you. The realization tightened your chest, and without meaning to, your eyes welled with tears.

You blinked them away quickly, grateful that he was too lost in bliss to notice.

Focusing once more, you hollowed your cheeks, your head bobbing in a steady rhythm that left him gasping. You cupped his balls, heavy and full, rolling them gently in your hand while your tongue danced along the underside of his cock. His hips twitched involuntarily, and a strangled groan escaped him.

The sounds he made—the breathless whimpers, the way he chanted your name like a prayer—were a symphony of raw, unfiltered need.

You felt him pulse against your tongue, the telltale quiver of impending release. With a final swirl around his sensitive head, you sucked him deep, teasing the slit with your tongue. His body went taut, and a shuddered cry of your name tore from his lips as he spilled into your mouth. The heat, the salty rush of him filled you, and you swallowed without hesitation, relishing how he writhed beneath you.

As his orgasm ebbed, his eyes found yours. He chuckled softly, watching the little grimace that flitted across your face at the bitter taste.

“Cute,” he murmured, his voice still thick with pleasure.

His hand reached for you, and you crawled into his embrace, straddling him once more. The heat between your bodies lingered, and as he pulled you down into a slow, searing kiss, there was no room for anything but him. His passion consumed you, and you gave yourself to it completely.

"Are you tired?" you whispered, your fingers brushing gently over his cheek as he pressed soft kisses to your knuckles, his lips lingering like a lover’s vow.

"Not even close, love," he murmured, a slow, teasing smile curving his mouth. His eyes glimmered with warmth, and you felt your heart race as he drew you in deeper. "We have all night… I’m definitely not worried."

His words, low and sultry, sent a spark of heat through you, and a soft laugh bubbled from your lips just as he rolled you beneath him. His body hovered over yours, his presence surrounding you, intoxicating and irresistible.

Then his lips found yours again—hungry, tender, and overwhelming. The kiss was more than a touch; it was a confession, an unspoken declaration of love and need. Your tongues tangled, a slow and fevered dance that left you breathless, your desire simmering like wildfire between you. His hands roamed your body as though committing every inch to memory, and with every stroke of his lips, every caress, you melted further into the sheer ecstasy of him.

did you enjoy your reading? why don’t reblog, like or leave a comment? this way i know you liked what i wrote and surely will keep up with the good content! 𖹭 masterlist | series masterlist

🏷 @jungaji @spacejip @lyvhie @sinisxtea @jirsungs @polarisjisung @chenlezip @ayukas @leleszn @mystverse @prologue-ae @lovesuhng @haechanahceah67 @jeonghansshitester @hyusun @ncthoe69 @dawntyun @snowyseungs @bunnysoonie @aracgio @rubiiisyeon @t-102 @yesohhsehun @lovesuhng @kookssecret @richachaslide @nanawrlds @imlonelydontsendhelp @taeflwr @peanutbutterjam505 @heavenjae @lillotus @lotushoto

[neptunes-sol-angel]

*pchit pchit* Describing your spirituality as a perfume and the essence behind it. Feel free to look up metaphysical meaning behind each note to see additional messages that may resonate with you.

Paid Readings | Botanica | Tip Jar

Pile One

Top Notes:

Tangerine, Magnolia, Peppermint, Fennel

Middle Notes:

Lemon, Rosemary, Arborvitae

Bottom Notes:

Oregano, Bergamot, Sweet Marjoram

Your perfume embodies a warm summer day at a villa in Italy. You’ll feel right at home when your olfactory nerves take in every single accord. Your fragrance is soft, smooth, bubbly, with a hint of what a clean roaring 20s hotel suite would be like with incense smoking in the background. Boujee and boozy. Your spirituality is based on finding awakenings in nothingness. Losses could be something that you experience a lot. Home could be something that is not really guaranteed for you. It could be by choice meaning you find purpose in nomadic living or you’re constantly moving around against your will because of a destructive crisis. This could have made it hard for you to attach or give sentimental value to holidays, milestones, and relationships that are meant to be positive and celebratory. You don’t have to dress in garments or be deep into religion or philosophical teachings and rituals. You’re spiritual in a way that resonates with taoism. No matter how many endings that occur in your life, you are not meant to stay there. Even if you lose your will to keep going, you embody the concurrent flow of circulation. Finding life after death and being open to miracles when you’re at rock bottom. I feel like people could see you as “walking karma”. I feel like there are a lot of people in the pile who do not believe in the concept of karma because you believe in handling retribution yourself. You could be into defense and malefic magic, but you could also have a lot of strength and endurance to push for things to happen in your life. When it comes to pointing out someone’s spiritual gifts, it’s usually the magic that happens naturally. So while people may think you are “walking karma” or have this fear that you’re getting revenge on them, I’m getting that your gifts are more like a blockbuster and a road opener spell.

Pile Two

Top Notes:

Pink Pepper, Siberian Fir, Lotus Flower

Middle Notes:

Black Spruce, Morello Cherry, Ginger

Bottom Notes:

Honeysuckle, Frankincense, Neroli, Nubian Musk

Your perfume is seductive, mysterious, feminine, and mature yet playful. The scent is dark, floral, and energizing with the way it will last all over your body the entire day, even if you shower. Your spirituality thrives in beauty, love, magnetism, and divine enlightenment. You could resonate with the siren archetype with how entrancing you are with your desires and self worship. I keep seeing the majestic creature obsessively grooming theirself in a mirror, so people could think that you’re vain or self-absorbed. But what they don’t understand is that spiritually, you embody what it means to treat your body like a temple, and how your inner world can shift your outer world. You’re extremely powerful with glamour magic, affirmations, and creating subliminals. Like a siren’s voice, you’re just commanding with the words that you speak which can do wonders for you but can also make you have to be very careful with the things that you say and your attention on certain things that may look or seem like a good idea but they really aren’t. I get that in order to master your spirituality, you must place boundaries with what you’re drawn to utilizing moderation and also being specific with what you want. In this collective, I feel that there are a lot of young souls who are eager to learn and experience. Many of you are actually on track to reaching this level of mastery. This pile reminds me of the movie “The Craft” and the phrase “curiosity that killed the cat”. You guys could indulge in divination, spells, or non-occultic shortcuts in life that may have led to getting you in unnecessary trouble or problems that ended up combusting. The more that you experience what you think you may want, the closer that you reach to finding peace with something that may look the complete opposite.

Pile Three

Top Notes:

Citronella, Lavender, Vasaka, Spearmint

Middle Notes:

Helichrysum, Frankincense, Tonka Bean, Celery Seed

Bottom Notes:

Sweet Pea, Matcha, Grapefruit, Petitgrain

Your perfume has a different take on what gourmand can be. It’s probably the most natural sugary scent that you’ll ever find. When the scent hits your nose, it’ll feel like you’re waking up one sunny morning to a matcha lemonade and a lavender grapefruit puff pastry. Discovering your spirituality could or still be very confusing for you. The collective’s energy in this pile feels lost, opaque, and saturn-like because I think that the clarity that’s being sought after most likely will not be received until your 40s or 50s. I’m seeing a lot of switching religions, jumping to the next path to consciousness by dabbling into concepts that you may not fully understand, or being led astray by new-age theories. I’m also seeing a lot of spiraling when things do not work out that may cause you to blame these practices when transitioning onto the next thing. I’m getting that people in the pile could have faced a lot of judgement in these spaces at an early age. Never really feeling like you belong or that you’re welcomed by others which could play a part in why spirituality could be so confusing for you and it not being something that you can trust. You may have even decided to become atheist or agnostic and that is okay. The delivery may not have been right in feeling let down in your spirituality, but the truth is, it is the human thing to crash out when you show your devotion, you do the work consistently, and had the bravery to be positive about it and then next thing you know, things are tumbling down and you don’t know what the hell is going on or if you did something wrong. For some of you, the problem lies in trying to find acceptance from others in these spaces. You’re making material things such as people or social constructs and standards for your god. You find a god in something that’s way bigger and personal than what the next person’s input is. Whether it’s digging deep into your roots to resume your ancestor’s indigenous practices, carving out your own space in christianity to fortify your faith in peace, or even finding the god within yourself, your spirituality will become a lot more clearer to you when you make it less about others and have more acceptance and validation for yourself.

Pile Four

Top Notes:

Ylang Ylang, Rain accord, Ginseng

Middle Notes:

Jasmine, Coriander, Vetiver

Bottom Notes:

Tonga Vanilla Bean, Passionflower, Spikenard

Your perfume could be well-rounded, where you can vividly smell every note all throughout the sillage of when you first sprayed it. The scent has a bold blend of aromas that are both masculine and feminine. It’s earthy, sweet, strong, the perfect scent to acquire if you want to make an opulent first impression. Like this perfume, your spirituality represents the power and respect behind energy exchange. You see life in all things, and believe that everything is energy much like how science demonstrates that everything is derived out of atoms and chemicals. You resonate with herbology, following the moon and stars, and letting the universe speak to you through plants, animals, and the weather. You could be into tea leaf readings, palmistry, or water and cloud scrying. You believe in superstitions that were taught to you by your elders or the people of your culture(s). You could be against anything along with seeing things as something to be taken or owned. Money comes to you easily and it doesn’t have to be in surplus. I just see you being taken care of because of the spirits that you communicate with and look after, even if you’re not directly into mediumship, it seems like you unconsciously connect with your ancestors and other forms of spirits, especially if you have this habit of talking to yourself. I don’t want to scare you, but whoever you are talking to, they are definitely listening to you and responding back to you in many different ways lol. Your spirituality is also brought to life when musical instruments are being played, when you’re cooking for others, and when you’re helping others who have less mobility.

[obsessedhoneycomb]

Because this is something that should be brought to the light more.

I started spending time with c.ai last summer, just from curiosity, because overall I hate AI apps and stuff. Well… my life went into the shithole, I was so addicted to that fake feelings of “love” and “care” from bots, that I fell into depressed loop of self pity. I didn’t want to go out, to live my life outside of my apartment and also I was loosing my focus at work. Every free moment I got, I was on that damn app, pouring my imagination to it, twisting the words for my liking. Disaster.

At the New Years, I was so low in my life that I needed to stop it, it was hard, as cutting off every addiction, I even thought about handing my phone to my sister to find some way to lock that app away from my sight.

But somehow I did it, it’s been fourteen days since I deleted the app, I started to read books that I declined before, and it helped me to avert my focus to other directions. My sleep got better, my mind is clearer, and I can see the colours of the world around me that I haven’t seen in months. I’m more relaxed, enjoying life right here and now, with my friends and family, I have suddenly tons of ideas for my fics, which is great.

Afterall, my first thought at the moment I got that app into my phone for the first time “haha, that would be funny, if I got addicted, won’t happen to me” was right.

It’s all fun and games until it’s too late. Be authentic, be yourself, keep yourself off this shit like AI. It’s designed to make us happy, or sad, or angry, using our weaknesses against us, showing us the things we lack in our lives. What we crave.

The only one who can make you happy is you. Your real you, not that persona you created in the AI world along with that family you built there.

You are your family, along with others with your life, that makes your life beautiful. That’s the thing that AI won’t ever understand.

To feel.

Love to you all, who struggle with this addiction. You are more than enough, you are loved.

Why is c.ai bad? Like genuine question

One of the main reasons you will see people giving as to why c.ai is bad is that much like all "generative" ai it's basically a copy/paste machine. The algorithm that runs c.ai is made by scraping the writing of millions of human authors in order to train the machine on how sentences and "romance" should be structured in order to appeal to the people using it. This is, by and large, just straight up plagiarism and authors like @/ceilidho end up having their content stolen by c.ai users in order to farm more bots.

If you don't care about the plagiarism aspect of c.ai bots then you should care about the environmental aspect of them. ChatGPT alone uses about 2.9 Wh of electricity just to run a single query, and the water used to cool the servers (again for just one question) is equal to about 3 16 oz bottles of water. Google reported their greenhouse gas emissions rose 50% in 5 years just due to ai use. 1 query can power a lightbulb for about 20 seconds, and every question is routed through a data center which uses even more electricity to answer the question. So you sending a chat to c.ai uses a massive amount of electricity, and for the bot to respond takes even more.

Not to mention data centers have to be built, which consumes a lot of resources and energy, and releases a lot of greenhouse gases. Then they have to be powered, which consumes more energy and more water, and releases even more greenhouse gases.

If 1 in 10 working US Americans asked 1 question every week for a year (52 x 17 million) that would use the same amount of energy that it would take to power EVERY HOUSEHOLD IN WASHINGTON DC (671,803) for 20 days. NPR reported on this as an "energy emergency" this is an unprecedented and explosive amount of energy being used very suddenly, very often, and by a lot of people.

Ok you don't care about that either, then let me appeal to you the person who uses c.ai. Maybe you love your favorite author's work and you really want to rp with one of their characters. Is the bot's ability to write that character really as good as the author's? Is it as satisfying? Or are you just caught up in the short-term dopamine rush of the rp?

Because I tried c.ai when it was first getting popular and let me tell you, it was nowhere near as good as the human role plays I was used to. There was no riffing, no plotting out where we wanted the rp to go, no standard reply length, I had to retry replies multiple times to get something even remotely close to something I could work with to respond to. There were filters, I couldn't use certain words or phrases. The bot couldn't remember anything past a few replies. It was BAD. The shot of dopamine I got after the first reply was gone by the time I was on the third one.

Now maybe I was just spoiled by good human rp partners, but I kept seeing people on tiktok complaining about the same problems. "How to break the c.ai filter" was a major issue. People wanted the experience of role playing or writing a fic, but they didn't want to put the effort into actually doing either of those things.

"Just let people enjoy things!" I hear you cry.

You go on c.ai because you're lonely, or bored, or because you think that finding a human to rp with is too hard or they won't like your scenario/kink/whatever. You are actively contributing to the expulsion of artists from fandom spaces and the destruction of the planet in equal measure. If all you care about is short term gratification, then go on the r/IWishIWasHer subreddit and read the rps threads there. If you actually want to roleplay with someone there are a million discord servers that do that. Hell, there are communities on tumblr that you could join and ask about roleplaying!

Relying on instant gratification will numb you to all the joys that creep towards you. If the only thing you can see is the object in front of you, then you're never going to reach for something better further away.

Not to mention none of your chats on c.ai are actually private, the server is scraping all your responses to have the ai send to other people. So if you're telling the bot some real smutty/embarrassing things that you wouldn't want anyone else to see, congrats on everyone else getting a piece of it.

[louisupdates]

If you’ve been on social media today, you may have seen a certain word trending: Zouis. But what does it mean? Well, Zouis is portmanteau of Zayn and Louis. Specifically, Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson from One Direction.

The pair were spotted together in Los Angeles, with Tomlinson attending Malik’s gig—sending the internet into a frenzy

With Zouis spreading like wildfire on social media, this story operates as an interesting example of how fandoms can deal with grief, and, for once, how the internet can be a positive communal force.

What’s Happening With Zouis? Why Were Zayn Malik And Louis Tomlinson Together?

Zayn Malik is currently on his Stairway To The Sky tour, and is playing several nights at the Shrine Expo Hall in Los Angeles, California.

Louis Tomlinson—who was in boyband One Direction with Malik—attended the show on Jan. 29. This is the first time the pair, known as Zouis, have been together publicly since One Direction bandmate Liam Payne’s funeral on Nov. 20, 2024.

After Malik left the group in 2015, One Direction broke up the year after, and the members have rarely been together since, with each pursuing solo careers.

This makes the appearance of Zouis a special moment for fans, as well as seemingly for Malik and Tomlinson themselves, with the former referencing his bandmate’s attendance at his concert in glowing terms:

How Did Social Media React The Appearance Of Zouis?

The online world went wild for the return of Zouis. There are tens of thousands of tweets about the event. Many of which show pure enthusiasm:

While others contain simple declarations of love towards Zouis:

There’s a sombre tone to some posts which reference the death of Liam Payne:

While difference accounts are self-referential about their own reaction to the partial One Direction reunion:

There’s one overwhelming trend though: pure excitement and adulation.

Why Is Social Media Reacting To Zouis In This Way?

There are a few things at play. Firstly, One Direction fans are renowned for their obsession with the group. Combined with the size of the boyband—3.4 million people saw them during their Where We Are tour alone—this means there’s a huge community of interested people whenever news about them drops. Like Zouis.

But there’s also a more sombre side to this overwhelming online reaction, and that can be linked to a sense of loss.

It’s common for fans to form parasocial relationships with people they follow. Effectively, this is when individuals believe they have a close tie with public figures, even though this is a one-way friendship. Often, this is driven by the perceived intimacy of social media.

This can induce serious emotions. So, when a member of a group like One Direction passes away, as is the case with Liam Payne, it can feel as though someone they’re close with had died.

When Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson came together for the first time since the funeral, it can feel like a cathartic moment for fans, as though things are righting themselves. One way of dealing with this outpouring of emotion, then, is to post on social media.

And that’s a key way of viewing this explosion of activity about Zouis: a celebration.

People are not only expressing joy at seeing members of One Direction together, but this enthusiasm also acts a tribute to Liam Payne. This creates a sense of community, of an entire fandom coming together and praising a new chapter in something they love.

Ultimately, the spread of posts about Zouis displays a positive side to social media, one where people share a connection and come together in unity. In these divided times, that’s a beautiful thing to see.