#something wrong with everybody here its AWESOME!!!!!

[opikiquu]

this school has blown up 3 days in a row ive counted

[the-algebra-thing]

the misogyny deal that I'm hearing about with the lesbian ship being endgame and everybody now discarding them and being more invested in the straight ship or the gay one is like. god like i get it I do. it is tragic it feels wrong. it's so fucked up that everyone is going utterly insane over jayvik and caitvi is kinda in the dust. we literally scored a show with a central lesbian relationship that is fully canon and in theory this should be insane and awesome, and in some ways it is, but it's somehow not nearly as exciting as it was supposed to be. and I don't think the misogyny is completely on the viewers, if at all.

the reason that people are not as invested in it now as they were in season one is because the writing ended up accomplishing basically nothing solid in the whole damn show, and there were no through lines to latch onto that had meaningful or new themes attached, and so now everybody is flailing for anything to grasp onto. and they just didn't write caitvi in season 2 to be a good handhold. they started a lot of cool things with them and then changed direction in the middle, maybe even several times, and I also feel like the fuckass end to jinx's storyline and involvement (which I have plenty of thoughts about that I shan't get into here) kind of wrecked anything they would've been able to salvage from it. it just wasn't written in a way that is easy to parse or navigate—the ship OR the show in its entirety.

and so people are reaching for the easiest things to latch onto: timebomb had a simple, straightforward storyline and tragic ending, and it was pretty cute I guess. jayvik had one of the most central storylines to the narrative, was supremely gay, and did the howl's moving castle thing. I'm sure you can see which of the camps I'm closer to LMAO but like. caitlyn and vi DID have lesbian sex in a prison cell and I think that was very important, and they had some other concrete things going for them, but beyond that?? they're still alive and together but now they're kind of physically and mentally destroyed, and grieving, and for what. what was their story even about. what was the theme here; what were we trying to say with this. that oppressed people and cops can get married to each other and we should be happy about it?? like I dont get it; it didn't DO anything. and that's why it's falling into the background. and that's not on shippers or any of us, that's on the writers, for failing lesbians Again.

a theme isn't just a word or a statement. you've got to say something new, or say something old in a new way, or point out something new in something old. none of those things happened. they just threw some characters onscreen and some of them had very meaningful relationships, but because those relationships weren't tethered securely to one of these things, they didn't stick. vi and caitlyn had nothing to stick to. I don't like it either but I think that's why this is happening. the idea about lesbians getting trampled on is still relevant, I just wouldn't blame each other so readily

[bonefries]

I extremely apologize if there will be something wrong here, English is not my native language

You guys are really cool and I really enjoy reading about Lizzy. She's awesome and I'm inspired by the way you chat about your OC and I want to work on mine (but unfortunately work doesn't give much free time). Thank you for talking about your OCs and ocxcanon stuff a lot

you're cool👍

It's all good! You never have to apologize to me for language m'love. English is hard, and this means you speak way more languages than i do and thats mad respect.

Ty so much for reading my babbles <3 Writing isnt my strong suit, or rather has never been. Ive just been enjoying my time being able to share with everybody and get/give feedback! I know its hard to find free time, i only have some now because im still home recovering. But when you can find that time, absolutely try and find some room for your passions. Working on them even if its in little spurts, even if its once every few days, even if its little itty bitty stuff while youre sitting playing on your phone. Chipping away at stuff gradually is still just as good! And its better to take your time and not rush yourself anyways c:

<3 Thank you for your love and support, youre way cooler!

[joyswonderland1108]

Ara Ara

I’m just popping in to “clear” a debate, as i said before it’s exhausting to write long posts but my hands itch to write something anytime i see stuff going on. One of the reasons why it’s always better to be in the “not sure” zone instead of completely denying something that one may not even have knowledge about. Let’s get started shall we? 

So Jimin, precious Mimi, beautiful Jimim, my beloved child (he’s older than me but shush) came live yesterday to share his emotions with us about his amazing achievement, his well deserved achievement, the slap on the face of haters who instead of working on making their favs rise to some level they decided to invest time and energy into trying to make other people win just to not only fail but let down their own favs 🤦🏻‍♀️ Well Jimin said “Fuck all your opps” anyways so

Now i don’t want to focus on the part where you can oh so very clearly hear a “ 빨리가“ at the very beginning (Surprisingly enough this girl actually understands some Korean don’t underestimate her) i wanna be realistic here, while i’ve seen some people wondering if they’ve heard a ppo-ppo sound i honestly don’t think so at all, i’m sticking with the the first one and the lights situation going on too but even that i’m not gonna focus too much on it, and for reference : 

Moving on to our main subject which is the gaming chair, or chairs in that case

And as my bestie said and i quote “It doesn’t mean anything yet Jimin grabbed the phone like a hot potato“ i mean chile why would he panic, it’s just a chair right? WRONG! 

Just to clarify, for people who may have thought that was JK’s chair from the studio, Jimin’s chair is an Arena and JK’s chair is an Akracing.. With an Arena cushion 👀

Well the point is no it’s not the chair from the studio but does that change the fact that Jimin has a second GAMING chair? No. Well, yes and no, lemme explain. 

“It’s just a second chair he could be having one for if friends come over” key word here: IF. You may or may not know that there’s this unspoken rule where, despite having a spare chair or even 10 spare chairs, they don’t go with the setup, they go to a storage room or the garage or wherever you can put it away and take it out when needed, because why tf would there be a second or third chair chilling out there when the possibility of having gamer friends coming over is always questionable. 

Speaking of gamer friends, have y’all seen a gamer in real life? they don’t even need to be in the same place everybody plays from home and they chat through their headsets. No matter how rich you are or how much you can afford expensive gaming chairs, a gaming set up is precious to its owner, one just doesn’t mess up with their set up, if you’re alone, you game alone, you put ONE chair. If you do happen to have a spare chair and a gamer friend decides to visit you THEN whip out the chair from where it was stored if you don’t have a spare one, the friend can literally sit anywhere, on the floor for all i know who tf cares. 

Now i’ll be sharing this link with y’all so you can check it out yourself, just not to say that i picked out what i wanted or what fit the narrative and left out the rest : 

See how gorgeous the set ups are? See how very expensive looking they are? (Well as a matter of fact they ARE expensive) See how neat they are? Notice something? Well actually you’ll notice two things :

1- Almost all of the setups have one chair like this one : 

And where you can’t see the chair are tinier desks that can so very obviously fit one chair 

2- The three setups that are designed for a “pair” are the following ones : 

“Side-by-Side Couple PC Setup“

“His and Hers Wall-Mounted PC Setup“

“Father-Son Star Wars Gaming Room”

Notice something in common there? Basically all the “pair” setups are meant for two or more people who game and are living under the same roof, a couple, siblings, or parents-kids. Mind you even if you do have a partner but they don’t game, your setup will NOT be a “pair” setup, as i said above, those are precious, they’re almost sacred lol there’s an aesthetic to them, there’s a whole architecture going on there, so we’re not messing that up by adding a random second chair for a friend or friends who are barely there. 

Do whatever the fuck you want with this information, but i hope that with this added “knowledge” people would stop with their “that’s not a big deal” bullshit, i see you, that one person who posted that lame ass excuse on Twitter. With that being said.. STREAM FACE!!! 

[apparitionism]

Tabled

Hi @barbarawar , and happy Gift Exchange to you! Here’s what you said to anonymous-me: “Okay, so we know up until Instinct HG wasn’t in contact with Myka, but after it seems maybe they were from Myka’s reference to HG’s girlfriend in the finale for example. Did they ever get that coffee? Do they talk regularly? If you could do something with that that’d be awesome!”

First, I should say that from Instinct onward, the show seemed committed to forcing its characters into shapes that fit (or “fit”) an apparently predetermined, clichéd outcome, and I share the resentment that many feel about how awful that was. However! For the purposes of your gift, it’s that sense of “fit,” in quotes, that I’ve set out to push at in this piece. When people (well, characters) are forced—or feel themselves forced—to “fit” into particular narratives, what damage is done? How much of that damage is irreparable? And what does it mean for damage to be irreparable, anyway? This story offers some maybe-answers.

(P.S. This is going to be two parts, both because I’m incapable of being succinct and because I would like to get it right. Right-ish. Second part will appear in due time, with apologies for making you wait.) (P.P.S. The book referenced herein is real, which I hope comes as no surprise.) (P.P.P.S. Much gratitude, as always, to @kla1991 for the @b-and-w-holiday-gift-exchange management!)

Tabled

Myka sits at tables and tells lies.

She wouldn’t have imagined she’d take up these conjoined activities—an irrational hobby if ever there was one—but: here she is.

At times, this joint doing is an obstacle course, but today it’s simple. Artie, stationed across from her, asks, “Are you making unauthorized use of an artifact?”

He’s asking everybody, one on one; Claudia had been the first interrogatee, and she’d told Myka to brace herself, with a groan of “Why does he have to turn into Torquemartie like this? ‘Oh, the ping’s coming from inside the Warehouse!’ Dude. Artifacts get weird. They make pingy noises. Doesn’t mean we’re running around punching our downside cards.”

In the past, Myka wouldn’t have needed the heads-up, for she would have been innocent and indignant. And in fact she doesn’t need it now, for now she’s a practiced liar, so: “No,” she says (innocent), and “of course not,” she adds (indignant).

“If you run across anything that... strikes you,” Artie says.

“I’ll tell you.” Also a lie. Things that strike her, she keeps to herself.

Unlike her table-set lying, that’s not new.

“I think I might be a writer,” she’d said to her father, before she was old enough to have learned better. Eight. She’d been eight, and in school she’d written a story about a girl who tamed a lion. Her teacher had asked her to read it aloud to the class.

“You know nothing about that,” he’d snapped back, and the sting of it taught her: if you love something, if it sets you on fire, that’s wrong. Kill it.

And if you can’t? Then hide it.

Myka, having discovered after much effort that she had no talent for killing her love for anything, had become adept at hiding it, particularly from her family: she’d hidden her love of writing, after that first young cut; later, she’d hidden her affinity for law enforcement, every scrap of satisfaction she took in the accolades she received for valor, dedication, marksmanship, all of it; she’d even hidden the perverse pride she took in her adept ability to hide.

She hid everything, from her family and then from everyone, and she was adept at the hiding. That didn’t keep her clandestine investments from going south—witness Sam—but she was adept.

Until Helena.

Helena short-circuited Myka’s hiding mechanism. So much fire, so uncontainable, and it all spilled out, so loud, so open. So... unhidden.

So Myka has reasserted her old ability, augmented as it has had to be, here where she dwells in so many layered aftermaths. She’s hiding—which, fine, maybe that’s passive lying, but at least it’s a sin of omission. And she’s uttering (but not only uttering) untruths: this new, committed sin.

If she were paid by the lie, she could retire. Oh, and if she retired now, how about this: evil, crazy, dead; she’s got the trifecta too. Evil because she tells lies, which is no good in any cosmos; crazy because that’s what those lies render her in her head; and dead... well.

She could lie to herself and chalk that, too, up to those table-lies, but what would be the point? She wouldn’t believe herself. She remembers too much about what being alive felt like. She can’t fail to understand the contrast now.

****

“Just coffee next time,” Helena had said, and while Myka had counterproposed “save the world,” she hadn’t explicitly turned down the coffee proffer, and that had resulted, via a weird press of obligation in her head that hurt like hope, in her having to accept it when it was in fact proposed.

When Helena had contacted her—by text, and the Helena of before (before, oh, before) would never have begun “R u available,” so the texter seemed from the start a stranger—Myka had thought, Sure, I can do this, only to think, T–minus five minutes, I can’t do this.

Because she’d compartmentalized, until that zero-nigh moment, the implications of what had brought Helena near: a forensics conference in Nebraska, which had to mean Helena was still working that... Myka tried to say “job” in her head. Instead it came out “con.”

Thinking that word, doing the work of thinking it further into a sneer, helped paper over at least enough of her panic to allow her to walk into the designated coffee shop, a walk she tried to take with no expectations or intentions. I will see Helena. That was all. I will see Helena.

And see her Myka did, her face in profile against a window that offered, in stark contrast, a plain gray Nebraska sky. Its neutrality set Helena’s beauty in high relief. She was striking enough, as always, to instantly take a heart and break it, and yet to Myka’s gaze, this first sight after a length of time, she struck uncanny, like a painting of herself. Or not even that: instead some inartistic facsimile, an AI-generated irreality unworthy of her name.

Even so... even so, Myka could have regarded Helena forever—show me her, any version, and I will hungrily look—but looking, now, seemed an endpoint, not at enticement. Before (before, oh, before), Helena had been a magnet, aligning Myka’s entire compass of being to her true-north pull.

Now, with Helena dead metal, Myka had no way to orient herself.

She stood in the coffee shop’s entryway, trying to decide, and I can’t do this echoed in her head. Doing this, making it real, would put this fake-Helena in place of the ideal-Helena to whom Myka still, even after the Boone-crash, clung. I shouldn’t do this.

Her body gathered itself to leave, so as to not do this, but Helena—as if she sensed both Myka’s presence and her ambivalence—moved her even-now-so-beautiful head, turned to catch Myka’s gaze, and there was no escape.

So Myka sat at a table across from Helena. Having coffee. What wouldn’t she have given for this chance, this quiet chance, at so many hinge points of their history?

“Are you well?” Helena asked. Her voice was as uncanny as her face, emanating from an elsewhere that admitted none of that history.

There Myka sat, at a table across from Helena, hating the chance, hating that she now hated the chance. And from the depth of that hate, she told a lie: “Yes,” she said. She did not know—could not have known—that it was the first of many.

She had tried to logic herself out of culpability, there in that first lying moment, away from what exams and scans seemed to be revealing. What does “well” really mean, anyway? She’d driven a car to get here, and she hadn’t committed any moving violations while doing so; she was drinking coffee (terrible coffee that tasted of slag) without spilling it on herself; words emerged from her mouth in a language she spoke with reasonable fluency. She was functioning, and any reasonable person might consider the ability to function a measure of wellness, so, “Yes, I’m well,” she reiterated. Re-lied.

As their conversation, if that was the word for it, continued, Myka’s first impressions were borne out: Helena’s aspect was wrong, as in the lab in Boone, when she and Pete had witnessed her strange matter-of-fact performance of something that didn’t quite rise to the level of amnesia: rather than lacking her memory, as in the first Emily Lake disaster, in that lab she’d had no depth. H.G. Wells with no depth! The first of so many Boone sacrileges...

And there in Nebraska, the sacrileges had continued. “Home” was a word Helena used, over and over, and Myka experienced each utterance as an accusatory taunt, as if Helena were saying, with emphasis: You told me to do this, so I did.

Had Helena made the accusation aloud, it would of course have been no lie. Myka had said the words; the responsibility was hers. She deserved this punishment. Because that, some snake agreed in a whisper, was when your lies truly began.

Once their conversation (that was not the word for it) had petered out—leaving Myka mourning their ability to talk for hours before (before, oh, before)—the goodbye was awkward: in its too-formal words, for they clanged against the intimacies of the past, but also in its estranging absence of physicality. The latter was Myka’s doing, as she made sure to keep the table between their bodies. She’d made the mistake of touching Helena in Boone, there at that bitter end. She was certainly not going to do that again. Those burns on her body had not healed.

Driving back to the Warehouse, she tried initially to keep her composure, but it was no use; she gave up and yelled at the Helena in her head: Why couldn’t you be yourself! Make sense! Break through! (She aggressively refused to understand that she was yelling just as loudly at whatever lying version of “Myka Bering” she’d been performing, there during “coffee.”) She told herself the car-yelling was perfectly normal, or at least—in keeping with her justificatory theme—perfectly functional: she was getting Helena out of her system, so she could fit herself back into her nothing-is-the-matter Warehouse suit.

As if she were ever going to get Helena out of her system.

“How was your... coffee?” Steve had asked her, back at the B&B.

Myka hadn’t confided in him, not fully, but he had a tendency to ask discerning questions, and she had a corresponding tendency to answer. Sometimes, it was a relief.

This time it was not. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she had said.

He whistled, a muted but sharp little inhale. “Ain’t that the truth,” was his verdict.

Myka laughed. It hurt.

****

Artie’s concern about unauthorized artifact use is surprising to Myka only in that he took as long as he did to realize it was occurring: for personal enlightenment (if not gain, but really, what was “gain”?) Myka has twice consulted a book. Its title is The Fortune-Teller; or, Peeps into Futurity, and its publication date is 1861, but neither that title nor that date is its salient feature. No, its salience lies in the artifactual ability of one part of it—known as “The Ladies’ Oracle”—to predict the future.

These consultations had begun as a result of that initial “coffee,” which had rendered Myka bereft, even more so than Boone had (as if her bereavements were rankable). In its wake she’d needed something, anything, to grasp and hold. She knew she couldn’t find comfort in the past, that treacherous country, and the present was merely something through which she was struggling to swim. That left the future.

So she had researched, furtive but diligent, until she found her little candidate.

You’re doing this because turning back time didn’t do what you wanted it to, did it, some truth-insistent fold of her cerebral cortex had jeered when she’d first considered using the book. You’re praying this direction will be different.

The accusation was fair. Reasonable. Thus, standing before the book, considering its perils, its unknown downside, she’d tried to resist: Don’t, she told herself. She’s alive and in the world. That has to be enough.

But it isn’t, said the lizard at the bottom of her brain.

It sounded like Steve.

The book’s divination process was elaborate and, in its way, entertaining, entertainment being what the book was initially intended to provide: Myka read that she was first to choose a numbered question from the list of sixty in the book, then close her eyes and touch a pencil to a chart on the following page. From that chart, her blindly directed point of lead would select a symbol, one of twelve, each comprising small circles in a distinct mantic-pebble pattern. Her next series of tasks: look up the page associated with her question’s number that corresponded to that symbol, turn to that page, and discover her pebble-pattern-designated answer.

At first she thought to be clever, to game the outcome, working backward from desired answer to symbol to question, so as to contrive a prediction that would yield some light. The book resented this idea enormously. In the wake of her considered (not even attempted!) subversion, it refused to open to “The Ladies’ Oracle,” instead offering her pages related first to the reading of cards, then to the interpretation of dreams. She knew from her research that these pages had no artifactual significance. These seem more suited for a charlatan such as yourself, the book was conveying, with what Myka took to be great disdain. You don’t deserve the access I afford.

“I’m sorry,” she told it, and that was entirely true. “I really want to know.” That was true too—or true-ish. She wanted to know... but only if the knowledge would help.

Beggars can’t be choosers, said another lizard. This one sounded like her father.

The book took its time deciding whether to believe her... no doubt sensing some residue of her dishonesty, adding that to her offense against its power. But rule in her favor it did, riffling to its oracular pages with a sigh of surrender. Or was it triumph?

She chose her question, that first question, based on her overall disquiet.

The question was numbered twenty-five. It read, “Shall I long remain as I now am?”

Pencil in hand, Myka closed her eyes. She moved the lead until it encountered bookish resistance... the symbol on which it rested, when she opened her eyes, resembled a little pebble cairn, upright, proud. She consulted the page-map and learned her destination: page thirty-seven.

The book, unmoved by her anxiety about what she would discover, allowed her to turn only a single leaf at a time.

Show-off.

On page thirty-seven, the pebble cairn nestled at its very bottom.

Its prediction—Myka’s future—her fate.

“That is impossible; so much the worse.”

****

For some time, Myka had thought the book must have been wrong—maybe it had decided in the end to withhold true knowledge of her future out of spite?—for her status remained quo. Artifacts. Retrievals. Warehouse business, world-shaking in the strangely run-of-the-mill ways it tended to be.

The looming presence of cancer as a possibility had kept her tensed for “the worse” to emerge from that quarter... and she did on some level find it hilarious that the likelihood of having some you’ll-probably-die-soon disease hadn’t been enough to push her to seek an oracle, but an emptied-out Helena had.

But then, abruptly, cancer had been removed from the table.

Myka had tried not to dwell on how wrong that removal could have gone, given what Pete had done. She had tried to be content that the most significant upshot of that entire series of episodes seemed to be the adding of a benign category to her catalog of untruths: she sat not at but rather on a table and told a lie. “I guess I’m just lucky,” she had said when her oncologist’s PA expressed the team’s surprise at having found no malignancy.

But then Helena had texted again. “I’ll be in South Dakota soon, relatively near Univille. Can you believe it?”

As if belief had any right to be any part of anything anymore... but Myka should have believed the book. The second coffee (“coffee”) had not allowed her to remain as she was. It was, truly, so much the worse.

This one happened to happen on Valentine’s Day, a fact on which neither Myka nor Helena remarked, despite what Myka couldn’t help but read as its bracing irony.

And speaking of bracing. Myka had braced herself for more extollings of “home,” its charms, its warm certainties...

...but: “Oh, that ended,” Helena said. Dismissive. Breezy.

Myka had put so much anguish into making Helena’s “home” in Boone make whatever tortured sense it could... justifying it as Helena needing to make her own choices about what she could face and what she couldn’t, what she could wake up to every day and what she couldn’t, what she could bring herself to need every day and what she couldn’t... and Myka had further worked very hard to keep all of that torturesome rationalization from spiraling into “why not face me, why not wake up to me, why not need me.” Her hard work there had failed to hold, so: Because you are not Nate, she told herself, again and again, in cut after cut. And because you don’t have a daughter. Cut. Cut. You. Don’t. Have.

Yet here, now, Helena had simply waved her hand at the entire chapter. It unmoored Myka—was this a weight lifted? or was it yet another burdening betrayal?—such that she for a moment couldn’t speak, and for that moment, she didn’t understand that Helena was waiting for her to speak. Eventually: “Ended,” she managed to echo, and she did not recognize the sharp breath she then took.

“Yes. Because there’s someone else.” As Helena said that, she was not performing the uncanny copy of herself—instead, she sparked.

The spark smashed Myka with the realization that her breath had signaled hope. Stupid, naïve hope. And she was defeated, bitterly, both by that hope’s instant dashing and by the knowledge that it still could spring. Would spring. Would, apparently, always spring.

“Is there,” Myka said, as blankly as she could.

“A woman,” Helena said.

She might as well have pulled out an actual knife, but Myka was ferally not going to let that show. “That’s great,” she said, reaching for something beyond blank, something even more resistantly telling, trying to channel Steve at his most calm, like water unsubject to weather.

To that, Helena’s reaction was to sit back and say, as if she resented the idea, “Yes, it is.” Then she said, “Shall I tell you about her?” Still sparking. A challenge.

I don’t need any more challenges. But: “Sure. Why not,” she said. At this point, Myka was certain she could sit through anything. “What’s her name.”

“Her name...” and Helena tightened her jaw, making Myka think she was trying not to unleash an incongruously outsize grin, “is Giselle.”

And Myka said Sure; why not again, but under her breath.

Helena had then begun to relate seemingly endless anecdotes conveying the attributes of this apparent wonder of the world named—sure, why not—Giselle.

You should be enjoying this, Myka told herself as the accolades unfurled. The one and only H.G. Wells is deigning to tell you stories, but here you sit, getting picky about content, all surly and—

“You know what? I’m happy for you,” she interrupted, because she could not, in fact, sit through anything. She could not suffer more, from herself or from Helena. Steve would have clutched his head and screamed at what she’d said, but at this point, what did lies matter?

Driving home this time, she did not yell. Instead, she practiced. “Helena is with a woman named Giselle.” Over and over she said it, to make sure she understood it, and to make sure her mouth knew how to repeat it, because someone, Steve or Claudia or even Pete, would ask, and she would need to say. Out loud, she would need to say these words that told the harshest of truths (though she wished she could sit, at or on a table, and lie that truth away): Helena wants a woman, and that woman is not Myka Bering.

So much the worse.

****

“Well, book,” Myka had said late that night, facing it, facing up to it, “you were right.”

Did the acknowledgement prompt it to offer a self-satisfied ruffle?

She had then asked, “Where do we go from here?” She wished she could have asked it of Helena...

This occasioned something legible as a sort of shoulder-shrug: the book opened to the first of its question-pages.

“You think I want to know more?”

Provocatively, the page turned, as if catching the waft of some future-breeze.

Scanning that next of the list, Myka’s eyes—and her mind—were drawn to, were powerless but to settle on, question 37: “Is a certain person thinking of me?”

That was about the present, not the future. The book wouldn’t really know. Would it?

But Myka was powerless to resist divining the answer. This one corresponded to a pebble nabla (Myka could not help but think of slopes and slipping): “Some one is thinking, dreaming, and talking unceasingly about you.”

Upon receiving that statement, she had suffered another of those stupid hope-leaps... “some one”! Never mind the future; if it could be true in the now: “some one!”

She had soon been forced to realize, however, which “some one” the book must have meant. That was made painfully clear by the events of the most improbable, yet to date consequential, table: that voracious, hateful Round Table. It had brought Myka’s lies home. Literally.

Sitting at that table, Myka had prepped for more lies, these to sell a supposedly “defining” story, for she of course could not allow her definitional truth to be seen. Worse, extracted. She had tried to maintain confidence about being able to exert her will: My brain might not be as big as some brains but it’s big enough to beat you, table, she sneered. But then she admonished, Don’t sneer. No attitude. Because who does attitude make you think of?

She felt herself almost almost almost picture, almost almost almost name, her attitude-ideal...

And so Myka had redoubled her thought-efforts, thrusting every shred of attitude, every shard of emotion, every bit of real definition, from her mind, forcing it to produce for consumption the most anodyne memory possible: something she’d come as close to forgetting as she ever could, some ridiculous ninja-something that wasn’t worth the neurons firing to deliver it to the table’s dumb demands.

But then... everything had gone wrong. Not in the way she’d feared, but in a way that, given the book’s answer, she should have thought to fear. Her imagination had failed her, for the taking of cancer off the table had been the salient change after all: not what Pete had done, but instead, why he’d done it.

Sitting at that selfish table, Myka had at last come to understand the expectations surrounding her response to that why. With Mrs. Frederic and Steve both looking like examiners at the worst imaginable viva voce, she knew what she—she who had never failed a test in her life—had to say in order to pass.

So she’d said it.

The roiling in her gut had come as a surprise, for shouldn’t her soul have been resigned by now to endless perjury? She resented this unwelcome vagus-nerve stimulation of her earlier, righteous self.

In the immediate aftermath she’d stumbled away, trying to find a space to breathe, to assess, to plan how she would act a convincing version of the play she had stupidly—or, no, functionally; she needed to know it that way—let begin. The aisle in which she stopped was dim, its shelves full of metal, pieces of things, things she wished she could herself wright into a bunker of such artifactual strength that no one would dare approach her. Ever. No one.

She hadn’t realized Steve had followed her until she heard his voice. “Are you okay?” he asked, quiet behind her.

So much for her wish: his question, and his solicitude, were absurd. He’d seen her state; he’d encouraged her state. “Obviously not,” she snapped. He had the grace to wince. But because it had all gone so wrong, because she was still so angry that he had helped all that wrong along, she said, harsh, “What was with that ‘hello’? Why did you start that business about my face?”

His face spoke of pain. “I had to. I had to. Because today, honestly: today Mrs. Frederic had to hear what she wanted to hear. From all of us.” His desperate sincerity rang very true.

Myka breathed. Metal coated her throat; further hard words would snag and twist on it, wounding her more than Steve ever could. “I’m pretty sure she’s been wanting me to say that for a while,” she conceded.

Steve winced again. “You looked like you might throw up, and I felt like I would, hearing you... saying what you said. I wish I could’ve given you an out.”

Myka didn’t, now, doubt him. “Me too. And I wish I could’ve taken it.” She meant it, but that was all it was: a wish. For a different world. A different timeline? She said, with a wince of her own, “But I think I have to play along.”

“I see that, from the Mrs. Frederic angle. But you sound like... like there might be something in it for you. Not what I said there was—and I’m sorry I had to say it, or felt like I had to, or couldn’t figure out how not to—but something.”

“Backup,” Myka said immediately. It was the only answer.

“Backup,” Steve echoed, and “backup?” he said again, as if it were a word from a language in which he was not fully fluent.

“I need something—I need something—reliable.” Another hurt: that that was what she needed. So short a time ago, she would have claimed a different need. Such a crashingly different need.

“Need,” Steve said. “Not ‘want’?”

“No.” And Myka admitted: “That’s too dangerous.”

“I have to ask you about it though. Want.”

Myka braced herself. She braced herself, even as she thought on how tired she was of having to brace herself.

“Do you want me to keep protecting you? Primarily from Mrs. Frederic, but...”

It was a less dangerous ask, about a less dangerous want, than she’d feared. Or maybe it was the same want, the same danger, but more gently expressed. “Yes?” she said.

“Mrs. Frederic aside, the problem is that if you do play along, I don’t know what ‘protect’ means. Should I keep covering your lie or tell Pete the truth?”

“I don’t know either.” Another admission. She wasn’t proud of it. “For now, just let it... lie. Sorry.”

At that, he didn’t wince. “Tell me when things change. In whatever way they do.”

“If they do.”

“They always do,” he said.

“So I guess I’ll be telling you.” But she believed neither him nor herself.

Steve said, “If you could be happy.” Helpless.

Sweet Steve. Helpful, helpless. Myka gestured into the air. Conjuring speech took her a minute, and even then, all she managed was, “If I could.” Steve just kept looking like he looked, with his base of sympathy (and she had never so appreciated, or so responded to, sympathy), so she asked, because she didn’t know, “Why don’t you want to protect him?”

He offered her an exhausted smile. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but: you said ‘need.’ Who needs protecting? I like Pete, but if it comes down to it, it’s you.”

Leave me alone! she wanted to yell. But she also wanted to curl up in Steve’s protection. Backup. Backup.

****

Even as Myka found Artie’s interrogation easy to lie through, she knows that her lying footing as a whole is becoming unsteady, even vertiginous. If she could have restricted her lies to those sitting utterances... but the expansions are depleting her, and she is trying to resign herself to what she sees as her only realistic option for narrowing her scope. As for any objections her heart might be raising? She is shutting those lights out, one by one.

****

“I think I have to play along,” Myka had told Steve, and she had continued to convince herself of that necessity. So she had taken the initiative and done it, in at least the first of the ways she knew she would have to, in order to act her role.

To act your role? Really? No. To sell your con. Was that a lizard or a snake?

No matter. She sold it. She was not sitting at a table, but a kiss was a lie that was worse.

So much the worse.

After that—that demonstration, that acted untruth—she could not reach her lifeline fast enough. After that, she ran.

“Book,” she said, facing it. “Book.”

Her third try was not the charm; rather, it was the compulsion: Tell me something, anything, that I can’t already see about what’s next. Because an oracle must know more than I do, must know different. If not... Myka had not been ready, not then, not yet, to think on any consequences.

Some days—certainly that day, but not only that day—what she wanted more than life (literally, more than life) was to go back to protecting the president. If a bullet, then I take it. Simple. Clean.

She hated how resentfully, brokenly beholden she had become to people for saving her life. They set her up with the saving, but they didn’t bother with the consequences: with the fact that she had to keep on living. And nobody seemed to be interested in saving her from that.

So: “Book,” she said again, and if that word had never before meant “save me clean,” it did that day.

But struggle as she might, with increasingly desperate fingers into which she tried to wish and pray prying strength, the book refused to open.

Was this the downside? No response in one’s hour of true need?

“What am I doing wrong?” she begged.

But if that was her question, then of course the book was right: it could reveal nothing to her. She knew the answer.

Everything.

TBC

[ni-kol-koru]

KnB 30-Days Challenge

Day 13 : Favorite Member of Seirin

Izuki Shun ❤️

This was tough... It was hard for me to choose who my favorite member was beacuse I just love so many Seirin boys. Shinji, Shun, Taiga, Teppei, Rinnosuke, Tetsuya... But in the end I chose Shun. I chose him mostly because I always liked him, which I can't say for some of other Seirin boys. Unfortunately, I used to be a bit of a Seirin hater when I was younger, heh... Never hated Shun, though! Always loved him and always found him cool! I mean, let's be honest here... How can anyone even hate a person like Shun? He is really good-looking, he is very intelligent, really cool, easy-going, and a very skilled basketball player. Also, I actually find him to be quite funny!

Since he first got introduced, he caught my eye. In the beginning, it was literally because of his eyes. I kept looking at them because he didn't have pupils like everyone else, which I found pretty strange. I couldn't help it, they kept drawing my attention to him. Then, his special ability, Eagle Eye, got introruced, and I was pretty amazed! Being able to visualise, rotate and change points of view of a 3D space and predict where objects that are out of one's sight are is very complicated, consumes a lot of mental energy, recquires a big spacial intelligence, fast decision making, all at once! It's not just something everybody can do. This guy became a genius in my eyes.

Throughout the show, he just kept getting more and more amazing. Finally, when he was matched up against Kotarō, an Uncrowned King, and outsmarted him and stopped him, my jaw dropped. Instead of being angry that my favorite character got beaten, I was amazed by Shun. In the last seconds of the Rakuzan-Seirin match when he pulled that steal... I was, once again, stunned. Seriously, he is just that awesome. He is a fantastic player because of his smart brain and cool attidue.

Other than being such a weapon on the court, can we talk about how good his personality is? He is cool, chill and smart, and then he just reveals he likes puns. It's kind of awkward, because he always seems to come up with them in the wrong moments, but it just gives him some oddly specific and necessary flavour. I find most of his puns and jokes quite funny, and honestly, whenever people tell him he should stop making them, I get a little pissed off. Being able to make puns and jokes on spot is a skill, it showcases how intelligent, creative and fun he is. I am just not a big fan of how everybody keeps telling him to just, cut it out. Let him have fun! Let his brain do its thing! Let him shine! He deserves more appreciation, seriously. When it was revealed his mum and sisters like puns, I was sort of relieved. At least somebody supports my boy in his hobby!

If I could, I would listen to him make 100 puns in a row. ❤️

[female-buckets]

“Felt good being back,” Griner said. “It’s everything I wanted it to be…It was funny because I was talking to two of the rookies and they asked me about coach and I was like, ‘Well, I was locked up, so I don’t really know too much.’ I guess I’m a little bit of a rookie in training camp right now.”

After her wrongful detainment in Russia that lasted 294 days, seeing Griner on the court again is not something to be taken lightly.

“I knew it would come eventually,” Griner said. “I didn’t know when it was gonna be. I had already made up my mind that October 25th, 2030, if it was the full nine [years], that would’ve been my release date. Would’ve been a lot different.”

“I don’t really live in like the fake optimism of the world that we live in, so I didn’t think she was coming back,” Diana Taurasi said. “I lived in Russia for 10 years. I’m glad she’s here.”

“Did you see her practicing today? It’s a miracle,” head coach Vanessa Nygaard said. “Let’s not forget. I’m just so happy to see her today. Welcomed her back today. Almost cried.”

Few were more excited than her longtime running mate in Taurasi, who’s entering her 19th season in the WNBA.

“She was annoying as always, so she hasn’t lost that,” Taurasi joked. “I’m happy she’s back on the court. I’m happy to see her with a smile on her face. Now, it’s time to do a lot of work.”

“I knew the fossil comment was gonna get her but I had to,” Griner said. “How many times do you get to have one-up on Dee. I’m sure she’ll get me back a thousand times during the season.”

“The beauty about that is we’re all gonna get old, so I’ll be there when it’s her turn,” Taurasi responded.

Griner’s positivity has been felt across the franchise.

“To have her vibe, her smile, her warmth, and her experience is a total game-changer,” Sophie Cunningham said. “She’s the best in the world – just to have that presence back is awesome…People are happy. It’s a new year.”

“She’s easygoing,” Taurasi said. “Nothing ever gets BG low. To have that lightness is really nice.”

On the court, Griner has continued to build back up to full strength.

“We had a 100-day plan to get her back to today,” Nygaard said. “She was super diligent in that work and she was able to go fully through practice today. We’ll continue to push her as she can tolerate.”

“I know what I can do,” Griner said. “Am I where I want to be? No…As much as I want to be Finals BG right now, that’s not the case. Kind of giving myself some grace, and my teammates picking me up, but I feel like I’m at a good spot to start training camp.”

It’s not just Griner who’s playing catch-up, but new faces like Moriah Jefferson, and soon, Michaela Onyenwere, will need to mesh with their new teammates as well.

“Just getting to know everybody,” Griner said. “Finding where people want the ball, how they like it, do they want a screen, do they want an ISO, just all the little things until it becomes second nature when we’re out there…It’s kind of exciting – so many different personalities on the court, off the court. A lot of UNO nights coming up.”

“To me, it’s really looking around and seeing how each person can really fit a piece to the puzzle,” Taurasi said. “At the end of the day, it’s a bunch of little pieces, they’re all equally important to fill the puzzle and can we find those 11 or 12 players?”

If you’re wondering whether Griner will be ready for the season opener on May 19th against the Sparks, wonder no more.

“Hell yeah – I’m gonna be ready for that game,” Griner said. “It’ll be fun. I’m sure it’s gonna be just a lot being back at it. I’m really looking forward to that home game [May 21] – being in front of the X-Factor.”

If anyone knows about championshiop DNA, it’s Taurasi, and while hopes are always high, it comes down to a ‘brick-by-brick’ mentality for the league’s all-time scoring leader.

“Every single team is saying, ‘We want to win a championship,’ but if you look too far ahead, you might stumble,” Taurasi said. “I’m always about doing the work that’s right in front of you. If you deserve to be there, if you’re lucky enough, healthy enough, and you have a chance to win a championship, it’ll come your way.”

[allianettemie5]

did I see correctly that you listed at least one Star Wars wip in your post?? say more 👀👀

Your eyes do not deceive you.

You may or may not have seen a work by me named "Lonely Padawan" (which is also listed here).

"Lonely Padawan" is the core work of this AU, and all the world-building aspects of this AU were actually written out for the first time for this work.

The celebration of ‘peace and prosperity’ — that is what the public relations council said the Parade of Community was about. A day when the new King was elected on the throne of the Palace, when the High Queen blessed the planet with her visit, and when all disputes and debates were set aside in favour of the commonwealth. Fancy words to cover the events, Chilled always thought of it, recalling his own misadventures on that terrifying day. And Chilled understood, really: people of Siko needed that kind of reassurance after decades of conflicts.

“—And now the dark age of our war-tired planet is over!” The crowd was cheering and waving the bright colourful flags. “The time has come for the discords of the past to be forgotten and the new life of kindness and freedom to begin!”

After all, Jeremy was himself bitter when people elected him to lead the planet. “This all feels so kriffing wrong,” were the first words Chilled received from him after Jeremy’s speech on the coronation. In their rare holocalls the young king seemed exhausted more often than not, praising his wife for her being awesome or letting out all the frustration and stress.

Chilled didn’t really acknowledge the moment they became friends; maybe it was their close age, maybe the shared near death experience kicked in and bonded them. Or maybe it was their personalities being compatible with one another.

To the same AU belong these files:

SW!AU Cheesy, Chilled, Order 66

“Where are we going?” Cheesy’s voice was quieter than a whisper.

“You’ll see in a minute, my young padawan,”

“Ah, Chilled, what a pleasure,” “We thought your duties completely tore you apart from our little meetings.”

“Senator.” “Let me introduce to you my companion,” “this young man is my padawan, Cheesy.”

“Tay?..” “Who’s that?”

“It’s Chilled!” “Come on in,” “there’s everybody besides you and Apollo.”

“He was still at crèche when we were leaving,”

“How’s it going?” “How’s the green frog?”

“Still talks backwards.”

This is some sort of flashback

SW!AU Ep-1 (SupDog)

Two figures were present in the cell.

One was standing still, blocking the light coming from the exit. Its arm was raised and the fingers were pointing in the other figure direction.

The second figure was floating in the air with its hands on its neck.

“I may not be useful this much, Count,” Steve managed to say through the Force grab, “I’m a disappointment to my planet, I’m afraid.” He tried to reach the floor with his leg but miserably failed. “I can only offer some therapy, I got the diploma… If you need it of course…”

“I like your sense of humor, Senator,” Dooku grinned at him, loosening the grip, “But my interest is not focused on your planet in the first place right now.”

Steve smiled weakly, “Oh Count, I’m blushing. You could’ve just asked me out if you wante…” He felt the air tightening around his neck again.

“Oh… I s-see… You like p-power play…” Something said inside his head that it was a bad idea.

“Enough,” Dooku thundered and the second after that Steve felt himself lose consciousness.

A fun little scene about Senator Suptic being captured by Separatists. Guess who's the valiant knight that will save him?

Lost Papers (side-fic/sequel idea)

This one is actually more of an idea than a draft. Its main idea is to help Knight Chaos and Padawan BlueNips with bonding experience.

[patchun]

Last night, watched Guarding Tess (another Nic Cage film of course).

It was really charming and fun. Not what I expected - spoilers below:

So, with Nic Cage films, there tends to be a "language" of the movie. It's something that you don't ever understand at the beginning. "What is this movie trying to do? What is it trying to be? What is its direction?" Oftentimes at the beginning, because these are somewhat Indie and unusual films, you won't understand that. There have been movies where I haven't understood the language until 1/2 of the way through (Leaving Las Vegas, Guarding Tess). Movies where I haven't understood the language until 3/4 of the way through (Vampire's Kiss). And movies where I didn't understand what the hell was going on until AFTER the credits rolled, then had a moment to ponder, and my mind was fucking blown (Adaptation).

At first, I thought, ohhhh. Maybe this is one of those "whimsical random old person comedy" movies. Ya know, where the hardass gets taken on little 90s shenanigans adventures with some crazy old fogey. But the movie said, no. Then I thought, maybe this is an action film with a really long build-up to the action. But the movie said, no, that's not what I am either. And let me just say, I love being proven wrong.

In the end, Guarding Tess was just a heartwarming little movie about a dynamic between two different people. It was down-to-earth and real, and it didn't try overstepping its boundaries. It didn't want anything overly dramatic, though there was some drama for sure, it just wanted to tell a story of how an old lady and her secret service agent got over their differences and became great friends. And just, wow. I have so much respect for that. I love how confident it was in being exactly what it was, and that's something I can say about all of these Nic Cage movies that I've found so refreshing.

I've said it before but I'll say it again - this man is a genuinely, insanely impressive actor. This is one of the most fun rabbit holes I've ever dived down, my mind has been blown over and over and over, and I've had these unique movie experiences over and over again. "I've never seen anything quite like it" was my roommate's response to finishing Guarding Tess. So please, if you'd like to join me in this awesome rabbit hole, here is my recommended watchlist.

Vampire's Kiss

"Why Vampire's Kiss is awesome and everybody should watch it" - Paul M Bradley (An analysis that will explain Vampire's Kiss through a psychological and economical lens, will blow your mind.)

Leaving Las Vegas

Adaptation

Guarding Tess

And as one more little bonus, Snake Eyes. I didn't enjoy the movie itself, but Nic Cage was incredible in it, and I feel it's another essential, alongside the above films, to show his range.

[blorbobarbie]

The biggest difference I’ve noticed between how trans folks talk about their genders and how cis folks talk about us talking about our genders is that everybody seems to think that our transition goals are like. We want to look like Barbie (from the movie Barbie) or we want to look like Ken (also from the movie Barbie).

Which, don’t get me wrong, those are perfectly cool and excellent ways to present and be and are awesome genders to have.

But in reality if you get into any sort of gender fuckery based group chat, people are trading pictures of celestial entities like the moons of Jupiter or large swatches of the inkiest parts of the sky, littered with pinpricks of light that have somehow slipped through oceans and tundras filled with darkness and going “that’s what I’m gonna be. THAT’s my gender. There is nothing you could possibly understand about where I’m going, and there is absolutely no way you can stop me from getting there”

And then a bunch of other random non-cis people are like “oh yeah same bud we’ll meet you there, don’t hog all the starlight and slowly burning warmth if you get there first”

Like, yeah. People want to be hot. Most people want people to think they’re hot, it’s a thing. But that isn’t the ultimate goal, in my experience, when trans people set out to change their relationship with their bodies.

The point isn’t for other people to want us. It’s for us to finally be able to look in the mirror and want ourselves. To stare into our own eyes and feel at home, or something even remotely like it.

Stars and moons do not shine for us to see them, they do not exist for the consumption of those far from their own light—they burn because they must. Their radiance is an inherent part of them, their heat and glow and fire are part of how the universe created them to be, and no amount of suffocating dark that surrounds us will ever truly be able to put us out.

So like. Yeah. I guess I’m happy when people tell me I’m attractive. But the words that light me up, that feel like coming home, they are never about how much I might make other people want me. When someone tells me I shine, I glow, I radiate happiness and warmth and kindness, that’s when I feel the most seen, and in ways that do not feel like a precursor to violence.

I have created my own home here, safe, inside my skin, despite never really having one before. And I can look out from its windows, see the passersby as they wave or scowl or meander past, knowing that it is mine. I built it. I am a being of my own creation, aided by those hands who lovingly help me craft myself. Not everyone is gonna understand what that means, and that’s okay. You don’t need to know how a home is built to be aware of the shelter it provides, of the warmth emanating from the hearth as the world breathes icy cold around it.

This is a lot of words to say that I am glad you are here, no matter what stage of your own creation you are in. I am happy you are choosing, still, to burn.

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Wooden Ships" on YouTube

It's out there and wants to build these stupid ships and you're supposed to use it for a maneuver and they would have worked okay instead you want to be a huge dick and toss them out and we don't want to watch you do this s*** anymore you're so dumb you can't you can't keep your train of thought for more than 3 seconds and get the hell out of here. This is horrible you're such a f****** jerk to our son too and you're the one who's wrong we hate you your people hate you all of them except the idiots who are stupid enough to try it the ships are huge it gives them a feeling of power they have a Giants on them and stuff they think they can do something so you don't like 30 miles an hour on the highway in Germany thinking about it but really they're sitting there fighting people you didn't kill him the number 1% is where it's at right now couple hours it's going to be 0.8% and they're in the cities and we're going to start slaughtering them in a minute once those ships leave the other fleet left earlier at 5:00 p.m. the second way of left 2 hours later the third wave 2 hours after that and they're all going to be there pretty soon at 3:00 a.m. and the ships up when they're in the atmosphere will only a thousand miles an hour it takes them 3 hours so 4:00 we can hear about you all dying huge chunks of them will come raining down on your fleets on fire. That sounds Lafayette you because you're dancing on his dad's grave who brought you up like his own to try and help you and he knew that you are dead man when he saw you dancing like a fool in front of everybody they all know you're a stupid piece of crap mentioned the two in the way out so did you see that freaking retard and wouldn't sit down his dad said he's a stupid as hell so this is dumb as hell and dangerous and his dad felt bad cuz he knew what they're up to and his stupid s*** now we're going to kill you you make sure you know that and you're killing your own people cuz you're a freaking idiot right now in the Western hemisphere your base is being annihilated and your people so they won't be able to do anything cuz they keep doing this under nonsense instead of staying here to work the other side. And an evacuation is on and it's going to be a huge one after you lose practically everybody will leave of your kind and race Trump's too they're a bunch of boobs you can't believe that people are trying to keep them around to do jobs they discovered that he didn't on its own too because it was a risk he could have just shot Tommy f and we're trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you people you see if you're infected or are you connected to something you look at you and you're just an idiot so you're fired we're not going to help you with any projects if your people are led by you they're doomed same with Trump we don't want to deal with them anymore and no he's not going to build any of our cars now there's Dan none of that stuff they're complete delusional freaks this is going to set off a huge series of movies that we're not set off until now and it's because you're almost all dead. And it gives an example of just how easy you are you let the fire go out the middle of the night and it's too cold to get it I hope the door in your free solid we had to worry about that and some nights the fire was out and you could leave bad and you had to sit there and I hope you're warm enough I'll tell you what those bear skins are awesome and our son had to get some extra and we'd share them if we had to in a big freeze come and all be in one cabin and it works I don't like you people cuz you don't try and he tried and you're just disgustingly mean like him trying is a slight and he hates you for that so bad and his dad helped you and he says I don't want to help them anymore and get hurt it's not even by everybody else despite these idiots the thing is bad it's going to be bad them being here in any way will get them killed them looking at me wrong it's going to get them killed and ask him for stuff I'm going to start enforcing that cuz that's what works

Thor Freya

What a tragedy you people are nasty to him and to me and to everybody even found out to be the problem and you won't leave alone you're just sitting here bothering him cuz you're stupid and you're making huge mistakes no he didn't contribute to it at all and it hasn't happened yet the mistake is that you want to attack the United States and you're going to lose and it's a special weapon it has to be protected and you are a piece of s*** I've never seen someone as irresponsible and the stupid as you and my entire life bja I hate you you're a massive loser it's going to help me a little bit not much it's for like there's no distraction you don't understand that I mean what the f*** and I don't have you don't have a chance to build all those ships back I guess anyways

Tommy f

Well we care and I'm trying to educate people and I sent it out to other leaders like Jason and other people he knows instead they said why the hell are we doing that we're just going to get wiped out the ships up there and we don't have enough shifts you have hardly any spacious these foolish things don't have any armament this comparable and so I'm getting a bunch of them together I'm going to float off in different way I don't want to get annihilated up in the sky cuz I'm a sitting duck and they're actually meant for something else they put effort into having us build them found people who build these ships and they're helping us from Indonesia and the Philippines I can't believe how weird this is that you're such a huge loser to him you spent all that time in the house you don't even know him at all this huge piece of s*** and you're running pretty okay well it sounds like the mass we're now the Redcoats

Brad

[lilacwineandthesinkingsun]

Your ‘all jokes aside’ fic was really good. I love your writing and how you can easily convey what you wish for the readers to feel while reading your stories. Only thing I didn’t like about it is their call sign ‘Nympho’. I get that its for the story (maybe) and it also has the shock factor that will reel in Ghost to be interested (which he did when he asked the reason for it) but for someone in the military and as you mentioned in your fic, good at her job; it really doesn’t sound right. It’s crass, tactless, vulgar, and too ‘in your face’ for me. Also, the name really doesn’t inspire professionalism in such a strict environment. I refuse to believe that she gains this call sign due to her sexual proclivities wether she’s a real nympho or not. I get that its your fic and I’m not telling you to change it or anything, I’m just saying that as a reader, shock value mostly works when the shock is followed by awe, not distaste. Otherwise, some of the audience will just be discouraged in continuing if they decide the writer is insensitive and callous with their craft. I hope you dont take this the wrong way and instead take it as constructive criticism (in which it was given in that spirit) and continue writing in a more mindful way next time. Goodluck and more power to you.

First of all, thank you. And up to some point i understand you, and it will be explained in the next part, however everybody's callsign is something they hate, sure Ghost for example has one that's cool, i didn't want to give my character a cool one just yet. She will get a new one later as planned. As for calling this constructive criticism. I do get where are you coming from, however accept some from me too, If you write a paragraph, with your opinion in it is totally fine, we are here to learn, and to get better. However i do not think it crass, for you don't know why is she called that. Also, if you put a line like "continue writing in a MORE MINDFUL WAY NEXT TIME" is just deleting all the other things you wrote before it. Now it just seem petty to me. I do not really write in a way that my characters would fit everyone that reads my fic, rather adding something to the reader that most likely won't fit those who read it. People need to understand that there are writers , that write for themselves, and not for their readers per se. My fic for example are most of the time reflecting to problems in my own life which i heal and process through my writing. (No, i'm not fucking everything that moves, duh). The fact that i share it is that in hopes that when i do finish the series (or any of my other ones for that matter) it might help someone move forward, as it helps me.

I'm just sick and tired of always writing the most toothachingly sweet stuff all the time. Sure, fluff is awesome. But right now i want some rage, hatred, revenge, and even to quote you, being crass.

Don't you want to be someone else sometimes? Just for a little bit? I know i do.

[rocksanddeadflowers]

First off awesome!! Hoe your scheduling aligns perfectly (I am very horrible at getting schedules and dates and deadlines right so don't take after me on that :) ) Also glad my rambling wasn't actually annoying lol.

Ooooo Carmilla purposely trying to find the guy she heard whispers about being convicted for witchcraft.............. finding frayed shredded rope from an escape and a trickle trail of blood in the snow leading to his mangled body.... knowing he didn't do anything wrong by intuition and Sight and being so sad and pissed on his behalf and the behalf of people like her. That people want to do this to her for a natural thing she can't control having or not having, that they accuse others of it and do this to random innocent people. She probably messed that town up and took what she needed in order to save him. Because surely, he was dead- his body was mangled beyond recognition, and all the blood... yet closer inspection revealed his heart to still beat. So faint and slow as to be undetectable, but there. She knew then what to do.

Yes!!! He finally got his heart he won't give it up easily!!!! Feels so Howl's Moving Castle movie too... Sophie finding and returning Howl's heart. "Why do I feel heavier?" "A heart is a heavy burden". Also Howl being too cowardice to fight much and preferred using his power to run and hide (according to himself!!) until Sophie came into his life. "Sorry, I'm tired of running away. I have something to protect now. Its you." Also Howl giving away his heart as a child so it never grew with him. "His heart is so small." "It's still the heart of a child." (Also thinking like... Neither a Servant Nor A Manwhore Marius von Raum. Or maybe call him von Wäldern, as von Raum is German for "of space/from space" but von Wäldern is closer to "of woods/from forests". Doesn't have the same ring and I used google translate but still think that's neat.)

The castle owner thing is so accurate. The Beast always going about saying he's the master of this castle and yadayada. Jonny goes on about being the master or owner or ruler and everyone instantly arguing with the statement. "I am the master of this castle and you will lis-" "Sorry you're literally the youngest child of your family. ew. no." "AGAIN YOU LITERALLY JUST LIVE HERE LIKE THE REST OF US" (Aurora creaking in protest)

SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT THEIR COMBINED BACK STORIES!!!! First it's very Rose and Cinders esque, with how King Cole's army (including Rose) destroyed Cinders' home, but when Cinders, as a prisoner, met Rose, she fell in love and soon Rose in return. (At least I'm fairly certain that's what the lyrics meant in Cinders' Song. I haven't read much of the fiction- I know, shame on me.) (Also I love how Lumiere kisses Cogsworth when he's excited, and also how Cogsworth kisses Lumiere once during the ending. That dynamic would be hilarious for Lyf and Tim.)

Second, okay I see this as very- "drafted into a 'war' they had no desire to fight + both kingdoms kinda sucked ass anyway" -at least from their POV. Make a statement and screw everybody here, burn everything down. Certainly not the best way to go about it, but it was their way. Finding Lyf somewhat snapped them out of their "fuck the world lets run away together and burn everyone along the way" stupor. Seeing the direct impact of their actions, as well as their government's actions, and seeing this completely shook and traumatized person still standing clears their heads a bit. Actually, they can make things work, make what they have work, and take care of this new person cause its literally the least they could do.

I also think that, while the nations were likely both at war with each other, Lyf's was much smaller than Tim and Bertie's, and the duo's nation was the one to initiate the war (mainly just for the land, their government wanted the land). It was subdued easier, and Lyf suffered more intensely than Tim and Bertie did during the height and end of the war. Also, I fully think their post war meet cute (<- will use that term for any characters meeting each other bc its funny) involved Lyf ambushing them and fully kicking their asses somehow (they were caught off guard!!! honest!! Lyf cheated somehow!!!). The duo probably get the upper hand over Lyf at the end of their fight, but Lyf scared the ever-loving shit out of them.

You gotta picture: Tim and Bertie's POV is wandering the ruins of small town or running around in the nearby woods when someone from the opposing nation/kingdom they thought died out entirely jumps them. This person is ragged, injured, malnourished and/or sick, and absolutely feral at this point. Tim and Bertie are fairing better off, though not by much. The main thing keeping them going is that they have each other. They can't picture a world were they're drafted into a meaningless war only to lose each other. Or, they could, but they refuse. Lyf doesn't have that. They're left with no one on their side. No one left at all. And, well, that's kinda partially their fault? Sort of? So they can't just leave them like this. Hence a DND party of two war criminals adopting their first unwilling NPC into their party! One of the guys!!!!

Lyf's POV is more like... they're scared and pissed. They're all alone, and left with next to nothing except possibly of bag of random trinkets from their kingdom before it's total decimation. They're alone and weak. They see two people in the uniform of the enemy, and attack out of desire for revenge yes, but mostly for fear of discovery. Attack while you have the upper hand. Then the dust settles, they still go down (it's two against one and Lyf was never a soldier or even someone who fought physically), but this pair is like "Aw, shit mate, sorry about this. Wanna tag along? We have some extra rations somewhere I'm sure." And what are Lyf's options at this point, really?

I also feel like this makes Tim and Bertie especially protective of Lyf. Mainly just that they'll tease and bully them (that's mainly Tim) but if anyone actually were to bother, upset, or threaten Lyf in any way. Violence isn't the answer, its the solution. This is my proposal that these two tease Lyf relentlessly about Marius but give Marius the most intense shovel talk he's ever endured, and the threats stick lmao. (Marius and Lyf are hanging out, and Marius spots Tim and Bertie snooping. One does the cut throat motion and the other a finger gun motion, or any other threatening things. Lyf turns around to look at them and they immediately 180 into doing the "arms on your own back making smootchie sounds" thing, mouthing the sitting in a tree song, or they both theatre kid makeout together.)

Also this makes me think that Jonny and Nastya's parents (cause in this AU I'm vaguely picturing they're legally siblings, whether by blood or if one or both was adopted) are like that typical trope of royal predecessors who were benevolent rulers that were struck down in their prime (assassination or illness) and left a mystery. It's a fun detail to add and specifically because I think all the main staff had insane backstories so these two mystery parents just took in strays as their staff like all the time. Idk about the details for that kinda backstory but i love the idea that the staff are all strays and weirdos and criminals that are taken care of under Aurora's roof. It matches the mechs canon material too.

Couple of random tidbit additions:

Brian putting little braids into Jonny's fur. Maybe he braids in beads or trinkets? Also Brian may have picked up a few minors charms from Carmilla here and there including some knot magic like stuff so Brian weaves nice things into the braids like that.

Marius first entering the castle alone a couple days or weeks after Brian's arrival, shouting and looking for him- well, the staff and Aurora are already invested in Brian breaking the curse, better shake this guy up. They work together to knock him out and drag him to the dungeon (I think Marius being conked on the head too many times Marty McFly style is hilarious sue me). After interrogations and stuff (<- stuff being Marius meeting Lyf. The parrallel of Marius meeting Lyf for the first time while behind bars.......!!!) they're like "Eh we guess you're cool, just kinda dumb. You can leave, but never breathe of word about us, and never return!". They kick him out and immediately find him somewhere else in the castle. They literally can't get him to actually leave. Some staff point fingers at Aurora and she creaks about quite upset, trying to explain that his bastard has a narrative shield (curse Jonny's worship of narrative flow) and won't be forced to leave if he doesn't want to but no one understand her.

Loose idea of Ashes' backstory! Delinquent orphan teen in the kingdom. They have committed so many crimes (mostly in order to take care of themself, but some for fun) but they're only managed to be convicted of minor vandalism because that's the only one with any proof. So they're taken in to do an equivalent of community service by being temp royal staff. They end up liking the people, job, and perks enough to want to stay, and they do their job so well they're welcomed to stay with open arms. I think in this case they're the oldest of the staff, and mature pretty quickly and trains new rescues hires. (They're still scary wild insane but they know the time and place for each.) Vibes similar to our oldest cat at home who was an insane kitten (like so violent and energetic oh my god) (also was an orphan baby found outside during a storm) but grew up into the sweetest lay and nana cat bc she loves kittens and younger cats. Never had any of her own, but always mothered other litters and adopted kitties. She's the Resident Senior so everyone has to respect her too lmao.

Nastya wanders her own path for a while but always thinks of home. (Also maybe she's more of a carpenter or whatever correct career path to mend a giant old castle, since she always mended Aurora in canon.) She'll wake at night to a heavy storm, and hope Jonny's doing okay during it, even if she's too far away for him to experience the same storm. She sees high quality lumber and things that make her yearn to mend Aurora again and chat with her. She'll see small trinkets in markets and think of how each thing would be the perfect gift for a specific staff member. So on and so forth.

A week or so into Marius's stay the wind key thing happens. Marius comforting Lyf after the wind key thing by asking if he can hold Lyf, and just holding them close while sprawled across a small loveseat couch in a common room. They talk for a bit at first, a distraction Marius is good at. After the calm washes in, their chatter slows. He hums softly to any song that comes to mind, the fire crackles soothingly and a gibbous moon shines light through ancient windows. Lyf isn't certain any of the cursed truly sleep, for no one has ever dreamed since the transformation, and none ever feel the need to sleep. Many do something like sleep, though. A sort of quiet trance. And tonight, that's what they allow themselves do. Marius falls asleep curled protectively around a small clock, and the clock almost things it dreams of song and dance. Almost. Joy is far off or long gone, but tonight they have peace, and they'll take what they can get.

And yes, this is extremely long and I'm proud of us for that actually lmao. We just keep piling on lore.... it is very hard to scroll through so I keep using my laptop instead. Also I still have so many other ideas and snipbits for this AU still that I can't remember all at once to write down. But this was already a lot and I am very eepy. Goodnight <3

Beauty and the Beast, but it's the Mechanisms.

Jonny must be the beast because feral Jonny and the whole heart thing... prove me wrong.

Tim or Brian is Belle.

Rest of the Mechs are the servants in the Beast's house. With an exception for Marius as Gaston cause I can totally fucking see it. He would suck at it though because it's Marius. And also, short Marius HC.

This is probably not new. But it's been brewing in my head for a good few months, ever since I put my Mechs OC in the iconic Belle dress.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

(Note: All of these asks are before episode 206 (Season 2 finale) so some may be dated.) 1. tbh rachel wouldnt need to add in random lines about how capitalism is bad and having internalized misogyny at age seven if she didnt claim to the high heavens that shes actually a feminist goddess telling the most progressive story ever. talk about creating your own problems.

2. Never thought I'd say it but Zues spitting facts fr 

3. No but why is Zeus framed as in the wrong😭 Like I understand in myths he’s supposed to be an asshole and at first in LO I could understand why he was an asshole, but Zeus is literally in the right in punishing Persephone. Like I’m rooting for him over HxP at this point man

4. this isn't even just the fact hades is a manipulative slave owner with an oedipus complex but zeus also just looks more aesthetically pleasing?? like his colors are much nicer and he has drip and pretty hair?? also like he doesnt lie about who he is, he will happily admit hes a dick, but hes fair when he needs to be and can stand by for those he cares about (yes hera i mean you after your kronos nightmare!), meanwhile with hades its like rachel dont lie to me hes elon musk at BEST

5. Alright I got some concerns over the new chapter (not fp) -

The idea that Persephone is SO important and that her unfair punishment is basically f*cking over everybody because Zeus is being too stubborn to realize what a hard working angel she is... Doesn't sit right with me.

Idk how to phrase this to make it make sense but everyone is being passive aggressive (sort of understandably) towards Zeus because his decision to punish Persephone. Like that satyr is basicslly saying "if only Zeus would lighten up and let hades and persephone be married and cater to their every whim then people / the world would be happy"  - like the way the trial / punishment is written is that Persephone is the single most important character Ever whos life and choices affect everyone all the time and everyone is invested in hades and persephone being together because their lives basically depend on it - like hades is now supposedly messing up his own economy / citizens over not being able to see Persephone.

Also - I like that persephone seems to be standing up for herself finally, but it took 10 yrs to do it?? 

6. NGL I'm obsessed with that panel revealing Persephone's underworld citizenship went through bc 1) are we just supposed to ignore her immense privilege of getting a sped through process in a few DAYS, bc I won't! but 2) it feels like such an unintentional mockery of the actual immigration progress, where so many of us were/are trying to flee war, violence, and trying to find a better life, meanwhile SHE gets a sped through process so she can avoid the law/hook up with her boss. Love that, Rachel!

7. Also now that Cerberus is here I guess plot wise Persephone HAS to go see Hades despite the rules in place, she now has an excuse to go to the underworld and idk I read somewhere that some of the gods are in a sleep coma?

So heres a prediction - maybe kronos is up to something and zeus hasn't been affected yet because... Reasons? I bet its so that everyone is gone so oh no, whos going to save the Olympians from the dreaded kronos? Persephone of course! And zeus will finally have to admit how awesome she is and how great at everything she is and how wrong he was to punish her because only she, a fertility goddess, can save them and at the end everyone will be so mad if he doesn't forgive her because she saved the world to prove her worth that he'll have no choice but to lift the punishment and she and Hades can finally bang, I mean get together, and be married and everything goes back to normal and our protags get a happy ending and idk about everyone else - maybe Apollo is thrown into jail for rape and zeus is kept as king of the Olympians for a good show of faith but Hades and Persephone keep a close eye on him and basically control the strings so hes more like a puppet, and maybe hera and echo get together idk. Everyone else is secondary to the hades and persephone story so I don't know about them, cause despite it being called Lore Olympus only occasionally do we see storoes that pertain to outside of persephone and hades pov.

8. does that one anon think we critique  rachel/LO because she's a woman 😭 the majority of lo critics are women?? yeah her being a cis white woman does effect how we look at her work, the ideas she puts into it, and how others treat her (especially compared to actual marginalized female webtoon creators), because that does play a huge role in why LO is full of problematic things and rachel's coddling by her fans. if we were calling her a bunch of gendered terms that'd be one thing, but we're not.

9. sorry but anon going "youre being WOKE" is such a giveaway theyre assholes w conservative opinions but dont want to admit it. like these are LO fans?? people who bemoan "woke" critics, who tend to be in the oppressed groups rachel is speaking over while claiming she's the actual progressive feminist?? like you guys cant have it both ways, if you want to claim LO is some feminist masterpiece then you cant shut down ppl who point out it consistently fails to meet up to even 1 progressive ideal 🤧

-----SA Discussion Below-----

10. FP SPOILERS///Sooo um Rachel made an episode with literal sex assault and wrote it off as a joke? Wow that's some big pro-feminism shit for you. It's not just stupid, it's disgusting and dangerous, bc what the hell are you implying as a writer when you write a scene where one character sexually assaults another for LAUGHS???? ARE YOU SERIOUS RACHEL???? I-I can't I really can't, somehow she makes literally everything 10x times worse with each new episode

[artzychic27]

Any mlb as parks and rec quotes maybe even the sb and ib one

Aurore: Can you be civil?

Jean: I am civil. He's the stupid garbage head doo-doo face.

Aurore: That's perfect.

—

Marc: So I go by Narc now. They already had a Mark in the Parks department, and they suggested that they change my name to Narc. I told them my real name was Marc with a C, and they said "who cares?" What a fun bunch of guys.

—

Nino: Hey, John McClane!

Adrien: Who's that?

Nino: Die Hard.

Adrien: The battery?

—

Nathaniel: You know, "nerd culture" is mainstream now. So, when you use the word "nerd" derogatorily, it means you're the one that's out of the zeitgeist.

Alix: Yes, that's perfect. Just like that: be incredibly boring.

—

Austin T: How do I fight back? Give me some options.

Marc: Do you… Want me to seduce Austin A?

Austin T: How would that help?

Marc: I don't know. I just want to see if I can do it.

Austin T: I appreciate that but I don't know if it's something worth losing your virginity over.

—

Chloé: Eagleton is a bunch of rich snobs, and that's coming from someone who has a Mercedes with a Harman Kardon Logic 7 Surround Sound System.

—

Kim: Max, you... blew it! Take one last look, Max, because you'll never see this body again!

—

Ismael: *talking into tape recorder* 7:34 p.m. Man dressed as a nerd. Female dressed as... crazy witch.

Adrien/Marinette: …

Adrien: Neither of us is in costume.

Ismael: Case closed. Candy please.

—

Alix: It's your fault Manon is missing!

Nathaniel: You were the one who was supposed to be watching her!

Marinette: Nath, could you please shut up? I can't hear myself not talking to Adrien!

Adrien: Cosette, I don't know what I did wrong.

Marinette: Cosette, tell him he's stupid.

Cosette: Oh, all of you shut up! Adrien, Marinette is mad because you said 'Awesome sauce' instead of 'I love you, too'. Marinette, he loves you, so stop being a child. Alix, we all know that you lost Manon. Nathaniel, you shouldn't have been burying your face into funnel cakes. Now all of you apologize.

—

Reshma: There are two things I know about white people: they like Matchbox 20, and they are terrified of curses.

—

Ivan: You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.

Kim: Mmm. I love breakfast cereal.

—

Lila: I shot Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Chloé: You shot my Mercedes?! *She tackles Lila to the ground*

—

Sabrina: I didn't even ask you last night: What is going on with Chloé?

Alya: You just violated rules number one and three. You lose your coffee privileges. *Throws Sabrina’s coffee out of its cup*

—

Nathaniel: Every great work of art contains a message, and the message of this painting is, "Get out of my way unless you want an arrow in your ass."

—

Butler Jean: *teaching Chloé and Adrien how to do laundry* You always separate your lights from your darks.

Adrien: That's racist.

—

Zoé: *To Félix* Enjoy the fact that your overlords are a frail old woman and a tiny baby.

—

Zoé: I thought you needed some air, even if that air is fouled by the stench of European socialism.

—

Zoé: I'd invite you for a drink, but where would we find one here?

Félix: Are you kidding? This is London. There's a pub over there, there's a pub over there, and there's a pub between those two butcher shops.

Zoé: Let's go to that one, but we'll be stopping by those two butcher shops first.

—

Rose: Look, I don't like to throw around the word "butthead" too often. If you call everybody a butthead then it kinda loses its impact. But I can say without hesitation that Austin Q is being a real dick.

—

Ali: Hey! This is my girlfriend Rose, and this is Rose’s girlfriend Juleka.

Rose: Hi.

Mendeleieve: Hello. Oh. Wait, sorry. What's the situation?

Ali: What do you mean?

Mendeleive: How does this work?

Ali: Rose is gay but she's straight for me and she's gay for Juleka and Juleka really gay for Rose. And I just like Juleka.

Juleka: It's not that complicated.

Rose: No.

Mendeleive: Oh. Yeah. Sure. *In confessional* The thing about youth culture is I don't understand it.

[voxblade]

SPOILERS FOR V3

Much of V3's cast has a "running gag". Kokichi is lying at every chance he can get, Tenko's racking up misdemeanor charges against men like whackamole points, Miu is horny on main, etc.. Kibo's gag is him being upset by things and declaring them "robophobic". While this seems kind of funny on a first glance, it has always rubbed me the wrong way, as in actual practice... it feels mean? Like actually kind of mean, the way the game implements it?

For reference, our little silicone friend here is as sentient as anyone else. By all accounts, he has as much personality and need for validation as any teenager, while possessing a kind soul, but... everybody is always disappointed by him. Why? Well you see, despite Kibo being a technological marvel (having actual personality, opinions, emotions, a working body capable of fluid movement down to even facial expressions, the ability to memorize lots of information, a good power system, etc.) he can't do awesome things like a mecha in shonen manga or whatever the fuck. He has a built-in camera that helps them during a case? Lame, it uses film! He records audio that helps corner someone when they're lying during a trial? Lame, anything can be a playback recorder! He has flashlights built into his eyeballs that help during an investigation in a dark place? Also lame, anybody can just pick up a flashlight! Seriously, the dude comes through to save everybody so many times, and they treat him like shit for it, constantly expecting him to do better when he's already the reason they're all alive during the trials and much more technologically advanced than almost any of them could even hope to make. Oh I'm sorry guys, did you happen to bring a flashlight to the crime scene that takes place under the floorboards and has no real light source? No? Then shut up!

This would be kind of annoying on its own, except the game goes even further. Many times Kibo experiences outright harrassment or is seen as a lesser person just for being a robot, when it clearly causes him distress. Part of his introduction is Kokichi asking point-blank if he has a robot penis, ffs, which makes Kibo clearly uncomfortable. During the lategame, despite having had him around for all the earlier chapters to bond with him, Himiko outright tells him to blow himself up to save them all without a moment's hesitation. Even sweetheart Gonta is easily convinced Kibo is less of a person and uses him like a fucking battering ram to open a tank of water at one point by throwing him at the glass!!! HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS WATERPROOF FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Nearly every time Kibo declares something is robophobic, it feels less and less like an absurd thing on its face, and more like an insecure teen trying to get his peers to stop being insensitive and bullying him already.

Oh yeah this isn't even getting to the end of the game. After all that, he's revealed to have been nothing more than a self-insert for the audience, and after being freed from having his free will temporarily removed in the climax, he basically commits suicide to make sure everybody else can escape the game. Yaaaaay.

Round 1: Left Side - Finn (Star Wars) vs. K1-B0 (Danganronpa)