#something unreachable

[satellitesunset]

wdym my bday is in 3 days.

[vaguely-concerned]

on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.

all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)

in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.

[ddlcbrainrot]

okay i just keep thinking about monika's relationship with the player and how much it leaves a mark on monika's character i have a lot of thoughts on this

[pixelatedquarter]

How it started:

How it's going:

[glasswaters]

oh, but i love her.

teeth and guts and roaring waves, she crashes against me where i stand. when the wind picks up and she buckles underneath me, it is the world she turns upside down. the ache in my lungs grows sharper, these days.

as though each rocking motion drags my chest across a whetstone, uneven pressure and ever changing angle, until I am worn to metal dust. until the lines in my palms are deep enough to hold her, and my walk wavers when I leave her.

some days, she is quiet, see. she lies, still and unmoving underneath me, and when I look into her, it is into the eyes of a fanged thing that has long since had its last meal. the thing lays still.

the thing smiles. and she is, all at once-

there is a whale carcass rotting somewhere deep within her, sinking ever deeper, still. there is salt on my lips and the smell of seaweed in my nose. in my hand, the rope is fraying. upon my chest, my shirt is wet with longing.

oh, but i love her.

- take your two good hands, and cup with them your heart. it will not be the last offering you make her. she will swallow it, and leave in its place a thing with teeth.

[supernova351]

I’m thinking about the Vash and Legato parallels again

[otrtbs]

the way some of y'all talk about certain fanfics because you think their "popularity" gives you free rein to say whatever you want about them is so strange to me

[red-moon-at-night]

Excerpt from Epithalamy of Helen/Idyll XVIII by Theocritus (translation by Neil Hopkinson)

[george228732]

I bet my art and writings would be more appreciated if people cared more about it, it's not a painting, nor digital art not something flashy and it'll never be that, people like that stuff and that's why the people that do that get attention

Is that what I have to do then?

People are selfish.

[mc-critical]

1.10 / 1.09

[khaire-traveler]

Apologies for asking outright, but I would appreciate some kind asks from y'all. It's been a rough few days. I hope y'all take care and are having a wonderful time. 🧡

I'm just feeling pretty alone right now, you know?

[moe-broey]

Conflict test..? Moe fucks up Badly test.

[lanternlightss]

Do you ever think about how Bard is constantly depicted with Open eyes and Barbatos is constantly depicted with Closed Eyes

NO YEAH. YEAH

something to be said abt it all …. like ,, the way bard was pushing towards an impossible, constantly reaching out for better days, a whirling inferno. and venti, with how the winds reach nearly almost every corner and crevice of teyvat, can recall every song of past, present, future, “let’s wait, wait, for a windier day..”

something about eyes being the window to the soul.

[thefabelmans2022]

rip cousin greg you would've thought saltburn was "like.....kinda weird, right?" but if you had paid actual attention you would've loved it.

[guzhufuren]

as someone whose two favourite cinematic genres are romcom and toxic queer romance, and whose favourite qls are chinese wuxia ones, i fear i will never have a bigger event in my life now