#something something warm spring of youth

[art-n-rot]

Shoko took this picture for blackmail purposes

[mossterunderthebed]

[asxgard]

Semper Fi | [1/8]

Dr. Jack Abbot x f!doctor!reader

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Summary: You’re the ray of sunshine to Jack’s rain cloud. What do they say about opposites attracting?

[ Series Masterlist ]

Note: dipping my toes into writing for jack. i kinda love him and his dynamic with this reader, so that’s why there’s a question mark referencing the number of parts this will have. will likely be writing more for them.

(Semper Fi from the Latin “Semper Fidelis” meaning always faithful, which is the motto for the U.S. Marine Corps, but I also feel like it perfectly encapsulates his character)

starts roughly two years before The Pitt, making Ellis a PGY2 and Shen a PGY3 (also Langdon & Collins a PGY2, Mohan a PGY1/intern, and McKay & Mel would still be in med school, MS4). I also refer to the year by R#, meaning Resident Year#.

Word Count: 1.6k

Most of my works are 18+ due to adult language and content

Warnings: age gap (it feeds me/reader is late 20s, Jack is late 40s), foul language, people being bad at dealing with their feelings (…Jack), trauma, hospital setting, medical inaccuracies, sunshine/grumpy dynamic, angst, mild gore relating to patients, death mentions, mild suicide ideation/jokes

not beta read

You rolled in from out of town like a spring day, warm and sweet. Jack Abbot really had no idea what to think of you at the start, assessing you silently — it had to be youthful optimism. It had to be. You were likely closer to half his age and only had a few years as an attending under your belt, with a persona that oozed family medicine or pediatrics.

How the hell did you end up in emergency medicine? He knew that whatever hospital you had come from, the Pitt would beat the cheery right out of you.

Just one shift and all your sweet smiles and doe eyes would sour.

It rattled him that you did not. Not even after your first week. Not even when your gloves and gown were soaked in the blood of a car crash victim, or when the trauma room was loud with a little girl screaming, or when you told the parents of a ten year-old-boy that he was dying. You walked out of Trauma-1 with a long sigh and then continued on about your day — like exiting back into the main area had reset something inside you.

Give it a few years, he thought bitterly.

Hearing your laugh echo through the halls of the ED sent alarm bells ringing throughout his system — how the hell were you laughing? What were you even laughing at?

Aside from the handful of conversations you had had together regarding patient care, you had not said much to him. Perhaps one of the nurses had advised you to steer clear of him, worried his no-nonsense, rigid exterior would rub off on you. It was clear as day to see most of the staff enjoyed having you on nights with them.

You moved with purpose throughout the ED, checking on several of your patients before moving to the charge desk to do charting, or scribble notes. He had to hand it to you, you were efficient, despite your soft edges.

The charge nurse on nights, Bridget, was talking to you quietly when he walked by, glancing up at the board. The lull was rare, like the quiet before the storm, and he found it interesting that you took time to enjoy it. He was brutal efficiency, checking crash carts and restocking, never letting himself grow idle.

He looked back at you, “Gonna chit-chat all day?”

Your eyes found his and you only blinked, unfazed by his tone. “Everything alright, Dr. Abbot?”

He frowned before gesturing to the board, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Don’t mind him, he’s always like that.” Said Bridget, with a simple shrug.

You only smiled at him before turning your attention back to Bridget. You picked up a tablet, focused more on that than on Bridget, but you nodded along as she told you about her son’s most recent football game, still clearly engaged.

He minded his tone when he directed you to the ambulance bay to help with a GSW victim being wheeled in. You assessed the man quickly, moving alongside the gurney into Trauma 1. You made quick work of it, paging surgery and ordering a handful of tests, before putting your hands to work.

Jack nearly sighed in relief, knowing he would not have to hand hold — the last thing he needed was an attending who he needed to keep an eye on. He knew he would do it anyway — perhaps it was the military in him, constantly taking in input of his surroundings, never allowing himself to miss anything.

How you guided Dr. Shen with an echocardiogram to show pericardial effusion and allowed him to drain the fluid. Or how you handed tough cases to Dr. Ellis to help her learn while you stood ever vigilant by her side. Or when you sat with the intern, Sullivan, through losing his first patient. He didn’t hear the advice you offered, but he noticed that Sullivan got back to work shortly thereafter, looking less miserable.

He realized that he still didn’t fully believe that you were a perfect fit for the ED, but you were a sound teacher.

—

Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center, or the Pitt as you had come to learn, was a welcomed change in your life. You had completed your residency and two years as an attending at New York-Presbyterian. You hadn’t fully intended to leave New York entirely, you just needed to get out of there — there was hardly any thought as to where you would end up.

Administration had needed you mostly on nights, which had not been your preference, but you didn’t argue. You took in your new workplace quickly, engaging with your new co-workers and trying to put your best foot forward whenever you clocked in.

While the Pitt was no less chaotic than the ED in New York, there was a particular restlessness you had begun to notice as the weeks ticked on. A never ending stream of patients, short-staffing and bad coffee seemed to weigh heavily on the ED, like it could never quite catch its breath.

The chief attending on your shifts, Dr. Abbot, took some adjusting to. He was nothing like the asshole at your last ED, but he usually had an stony, unreadable look on his face. You had never seen him crack a smile, and his gaze was more intimidating than you had expected. He had a habit of staring — not inappropriately, just assessing, just watching. Constantly observing the ED, patients, the board, you. It was not unkind, per se, but his eyes frequently held a heaviness that most backed away from — but instead of intimidating you, something instead took root in your gut.

You never took his demeanor to heart — he had been in the ED a long time, and with his calculated and calm practiced ease in which he operated, you suspected military training. The way he held himself, the way he moved, the way he demanded attention as soon as he stepped into a room did little to deter that thought.

The annoying little flutter made itself known every time you met his gaze in the weeks that followed, or when his hand met yours over a patient. It was frankly elementary, a stupid work crush — he was so much older, and he was your chief attending. Hardly appropriate. You still barely knew him, so it was easy enough to shove the feeling aside and work.

After one of the longer shifts where you had stayed an extra hour due to a hard to stabilize trauma, you wandered up to the roof. You had just intended to catch some air before returning to your apartment.

Just have a moment of solace to clear your clouded mind.

You were surprised to find you were not alone, looking across the roof to see Dr. Abbot. He was beyond the safety railing, overlooking the city, and a worry invaded your insides. Like in most things, he was just quietly looking over the city with a detached look in his eyes — not quite serious, but not entirely healthy.

You supposed this was how he dealt with a particularly gruesome shift. The topic of your own mortality was never a light one, but you could see how one might find comfort in the reminder of it. You liked to look at the sky, be reminded that life continues on, the world keeps spinning.

“So, you come here often?” You asked, startling him.

He turned to look at you, his eyes hard, “Do you?”

You shrugged with a smile, “I like to watch the sunrise.”

Abbot’s narrowed eyes held on you for several moments, before he turned back to the city, “Just spent the last hour and a half coding that kid…”

“I was there,” you said, stepping closer to the bars while still giving him ample space. “We did everything we could.”

His eyes were on you again. Sharp. Intimidating. “How do you do that?”

You raised an eyebrow at him, “What?”

He sighed, putting his hands back into his pockets like he was removing as much of himself as he could. “I don’t even know why I do this anymore. This job.”

“Because it matters.” You told him, looking over to the sun rising on the horizon. “Because we’re good at it. Because they need us. Because we need it.” You shrugged lightly even though he wasn’t looking at you. “The little things keep me going, mostly.”

Silence encased you. Most of your mentors had called that nativity.

“You know, a little girl tried to give me her stuffed bear today.” You said, glancing at him. “Her mother was coding and she wanted to give the bear to me, for luck.”

A simple smile came over your features. The mother and daughter in question had been hit by a drunk driver earlier in your shift — the mother had come in critical, while the daughter had come out of it with only a few minor scrapes and bruises.

“And those little moments? They’re enough.”

You breathed in all the horrors you had seen before exhaling them, giving them to the wind. Your mind would always be haunted by the things you saw, but you did always try to focus on the good, on the things you could control.

You both stood there together for several minutes. His outlook was not likely to change, not over some pretty words when he had spent his entire career pushing it down, and you weren’t looking to change it. But the quiet now resting between you? It was warm. It was something that was seen, like a shred of light trickling through the darkness.

He came back from the edge and moved under the railing. You moved off the roof together, a quiet understanding finally settling between you.

[ Next ]

Solely inspired by this post/picture that I saw last week

I have a similar idea planned for Robby as well whoops

(still figuring jack out so please forgive this && this will not be as frequent/consistent as some of my other stuff while i learn to write for him lol)

[landopoet]

playgrounds and playdates.

pairing single dad!lando x single mum!reader

synopsis in which meeting a single dad and his son turns your whole life upside down.

author’s note this story has taken me so long to write and i’m so sorry for that!! as always, thank you to @clovermoters for the constant help, support and encouragement. i love you all, hope you enjoy <3

♯

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟearly spring, march 13th

the green canopy of the trees held back most of the sunlight and the last drops of warmth you’d soak up before fully submerging yourselves in the forest. 

your little one, a three year old girl named stevie, was happily running along the track, her youthful laughter echoing through the silent forest. it just became warm enough to finally go on walks again and visit her favourite place. 

though, the girl had many favourite places. if you’d ask stevie, she’d name at least four before finally deciding on the playground. 

“mum, look!” stevie beamed, her tiny finger pointing towards the end of her path and the playground that came into view the farther she ran. 

you smiled at her, not needing to walk too fast to keep up with her pace. “i see, sweetheart. you wanna swing?” 

“nuh uh,” the girl shook her head, stopping in her steps to look up at you. “sandbox.” 

“ah, how could i forget,” you nodded in approval and your little girl took off running again. “don’t eat the sand, angel.” you warn as soon as you two make it to the sand pit. there’s already some toys there but pull out the pink sand toy set from your bag and hand it to stevie. 

as the little girl plays, you watch and wonder how you got so lucky with stevie, as she was already so independent for her age. she was smart, resilient, empathetic and everything you wouldn’t expect a three year old to be. 

you wanted her to remember her childhood as best as possible, so you made a scrapbook— called it ‘stevie’s adventures’— and marked down bits and pieces of her life. so far, you’ve added the hospital bracelet you wore during labour and some of her infant stuff, like socks, a few onesies and even a few binkies. 

you decide to snap a picture of her in the sandbox, now playing with a blond, curly-haired boy who couldn’t have been much older than her. taking a picture of a stranger's child would go against everything you’ve been doing to protect stevie’s personal life from online creeps, so you look around to try and find whoever’s responsible for the kid. 

the only other adult person on this playground is standing a few steps away from your bench, navy sweatered arms crossed across his chest, white cap adorning his curly haired head. he looks intimidating and cold, like he’d shatter you with just a glance. 

eventually, you muster up the courage to speak to him. “uhm, excuse me?” 

the man turns to you like he was expecting you to speak to him, moustached lips turning into a welcoming smile. “what’s up?” 

“is that your child in the sandbox?” you point to the boy, although you could already tell they were related— the subtle curls sticking out from under his cap matched the boys’ ones perfectly. the man nods, a little confused. “okay so this is really random, but i like to take pictures of moments in my daughter’s life and i was wondering if you’re okay with your son being in it?”

the stranger seems to let out a sigh of relief, a little less anxious about your line of questioning. “yeah, that’s fine.” 

you give him a slight nod accompanied by a small smile. he watches as you pull out your camera, bring it up to your eye and get your perfect shot before putting it back into your bag. when your eyes flicker back towards him, he hesitantly extends a hand. “i’m lando.”

you blink at him twice before getting up and shaking his hand. “nice to meet you, lando. i’m y/n.”

he lingers for a moment, just watching you when you turn your attention back to the kids in the sandbox. the little boy is sharing his dinosaur bucket with stevie and she’s shovelling sand into it, babbling on about something you can’t hear. 

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟmarch 27th

“stevie!”

your head whips towards the source of the sound, coming from a young boy. it takes you a few seconds before you notice his dad and both of you smile at each other. 

stevie runs up to the boy and gives him a tight squeeze. “theo!” 

over the past two weeks, you had come to the park a few times and met lando, and his son theo, there each time. not on purpose, it’s just that your park schedules just seemed to match up. 

stevie became very fond of theo over such a short time and it warms your heart to see her beaming face as they play tag around the swing set.

“is your kid a picky eater?” lando suddenly asks, trying to break the unnecessarily awkward silence. “theo doesn’t eat carrots, all of a sudden. used to be his favourite snack until literally this morning.” 

you try to hide your laughter when lando pinches the bridge of his nose, jokingly frustrated with his son. “stevie doesn’t eat the crust on bread or broccoli stems.” 

“theo would agree with her about the importance of crustless bread in their diet,” lando hums, nodding at your answer. “sometimes i wonder if he’s even my kid, ‘cause his taste in food is so different.” 

“he’s the spitting image of you, lando, i figured he was yours before we even spoke.” you roll your eyes, playfully. “and i don’t think taste in anything is genetic. at least i hope not. god forbid stevie goes through the awkward teenage phase of wearing strictly skinny jeans and band tees.” 

lando chuckles. “yeah, i couldn’t see teenage theo rocking straight and damaged hair.” 

“did you straighten it?” you tilt your head to the side, curious as to why anyone would want to get rid of their curls. 

“used to,” he nods. “met theo’s mum and she taught me the proper techniques and products to use to get my hair healthy and curly again.” 

ah, theo’s mum. you had wondered if lando had a partner. not for any particular reason, it was just because you only ever saw him at the park with theo and never the boys mum.

“mum!” stevie runs up to you, out of breath. “thirsty.”

your daughter wasn’t a fan of using many words in her sentences and, at first, you had begun to worry about it, but after many doctors visits, they confirmed that it was just a quirk she had adopted.

you open your bag and take out her water bottle. stevie basically rips it out of your hands, urgent to get as many gulps down as she can before she continues to play tag with theo. 

the boy was stood by his dad, hugging him around the waist as lando pushed theo’s curls out of his face. “you tired yet?” he asks, already knowing the answer. 

“nuh uh,” theo shakes his head, instantly. “i like playing with stevie.” 

“i know you do, bud, but we have to make dinner. you said you’d help me make that cheesy pasta you like.” lando raises his brows a few times, trying to pique his son's interest.

theo sighs. “i know. could stevie come over someday, then?” 

lando’s eyes flicker up to yours, “could she? i host the best tea parties in town.” 

you turn your head back to stevie when an excited gasp leaves her lips. ���tea party?” she practically squeals as she repeats what lando said. “mum, can we go? please, please, please!” 

the expectant look on stevie, theo, and even lando’s, faces makes you laugh. “i don’t see why not.” 

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟapril 4th

“and would the princess like some biscuits with her tea?” lando asked, clad in grey sweatpants, white shirt… and a superman cape. apparently this tea party turned into a costume party, and you didn’t get the memo.

your daughter giggled before tipping her head and lifting up the sides of her cinderella dress. “yes, please.”

theo sat between them, happily smiling at the exchange between lando and stevie. “i want some too, dad!”

“biscuits for batman and cinderella coming right up!” he smiles at them before looking at you and nodding his head as an urge for you to get up. you follow him into the kitchen. 

“had no idea you were superman, i feel like i should bow down to my hero or something,” you smile over the rim of your cup. 

“nah, it’s a sidegig.” lando shrugs, nonchalantly, as he pulls out a few different types of biscuits from a cupboard. “is stevie allergic to anything?” 

“nope,” you shake your head. “but she likes to say she’s allergic to cucumber peel.” 

“ah, the famous excuse for not eating food they don’t like. been there. theo was trying to convince me that he was allergic to tomatoes until i told him what ketchup was made from.” lando laughed. 

you smile at how fondly he speaks of theo. “where’s theo’s mum?” you suddenly blurt, eyes wide as you cover your mouth. “sorry, that’s such a personal question, i didn’t mean to.”

“well, you were clearly curious about it.” lando looks at you. “and that’s okay. but i’d rather talk about something else.” 

“yes, sorry.” you nod. “what do you do for work?”

“i work at a karting place. i own it, actually.” lando spreads the biscuits out nicely onto a platter, adding a few cut up fruits from the fridge to make somewhat of a charcuterie board. 

“oh, so that’s why you can afford karting for theo,” you hum, before taking a sip of your coffee, remembering one of the first conversations you had about your children’s hobbies. stevie likes to draw and play pretend, meanwhile theo finds joy in racing. 

“that and his godfather being an F1 driver,” lando smiles fondly, eyes darting up to yours for a brief second before he goes back to assembling the snack board. “i used to race, too, before theo.” 

“do you miss it?” you watch him closely, noticing the slight wince in his face. 

eventually, he shrugs. “sometimes. other times, i realise how little energy fatherhood takes out of me compared to sitting in a small, hot space for hours at a time.” 

“mm,” you hum again, nodding. you can’t really imagine anything harder than motherhood. “but that’s cars versus raising and nourishing a whole other human and personality.”

“yeah, true.” he agrees. “i guess i just got lucky with theo.”

“or he got lucky with you.” you and lando share a glance that lasts a little too long and seems a little too fond for just acquainted parents. you clear your throat and look away, instead choosing to watch whatever’s left in your mostly empty cup.

࿐ ࿔*:･ may 23rd

after a few more weeks of playdates at each other’s houses, theo saw it fit to include stevie in one of his favourite things in the world— karting.

the young boy pestered his father endlessly, using his puppy eyes technique to get what he wanted. “please?” he asked, dragging out the last syllable of the word to be a little more annoying and convincing.

“i’m sorry, bud. i don’t think she’ll like karting.” lando watched his sons face turn from hopeful to frustrated. the little boy crossed his arms over his chest, turning himself away from lando and facing the nearest wall to their couch. 

“i won’t go if she’s not there.” 

the simple yet strongly made statement forced lando to hold back a snort. “fine, i’ll call and see if she’d like to come. but i’m not promising anything.”

when friday afternoon rolled around, lando was delighted— and relieved— to see you and stevie making your way over to where he and theo were waiting. 

“dad, it’s stevie!” theo’s face lit up as stevie ran over to them. “hi!”

“hi, theo!” stevie smiled and hugged him. she waved at lando. “hey, dude!” 

“stevie, what did i tell you about calling people dude?” you say and playfully roll your eyes before looking at lando. “she randomly picked it up from who knows where and now everyone is dude.” 

lando chuckles. “that’s funny, dude.” he looks down at stevie with an excited grin. “you ready to race?” 

“heck yeah, dude.” stevie giggles and balls her hand into a fist, bumping it with lando’s. her hazel eyes look intensely at his open palm when he offers her a hand, confused as for whether or not he’s safe to walk with.

stevie’s seen and spent time with lando multiple times now, but everytime she did, you were there. in this moment, she was stood alone next to theo and lando, and even though you were only a few steps behind her, she felt like she was all by herself.

she turns her blonde head of hair towards you, eyes glancing up to look at yours. she was looking for any sign of disapproval or worry, but instead she saw you nodding your head encouragingly. “you need to get your helmet on, baby. lando will help you and then you can meet me back here, okay?”

stevie bites her lip with a glint of worry in her eye, but swiftly turns around and places her tiny palm in lando’s. lando gives you a small smile and the three of them make their way into the building. 

stevie’s worries seem to lessen the more lando jokes around with her. first, he puts his balaclava on backwards, making both the kids laugh at how goofy he looked while flailing his arms around in the air. secondly, he tries to put on a helmet too small, which again results in a fit of giggles from theo and stevie. eventually, when he finds the perfect size helmet for stevie, he gets theo’s one— obviously designed with his favourite animated characters and colours— and leads the kids outside. 

you watch as stevie runs to you, looking like a bobble-head because of how huge the helmet seemed. “woah, look at you.” you gasp as you squat down to be her height. “you scared?” 

“nuh uh,” stevie shakes her head. “lando said i’m a rockstar and i’ll do great.” 

your heart swells a bit. just as you’re about to speak, theo runs up to you both. “sorry, but my dad asked to bring stevie over to get her ready. he said you can go make coffee inside, though!” 

“thank you, theo,” you smile softly and get up, watching as the two kids run towards lando with their hands held. 

while you navigate through the building and try to find a place where you can secretly watch stevie and theo racing, lando explains how everything works to stevie. 

“okay, so,” he places a hand atop her left foot, “you’ll have to push this foot forward to move, and this one,” he places the same hand on her other foot, “to slow down and stop. okay?” 

“just like a car?” stevie tilts her head to the side, her interest piqued despite her never even seeing how a kart drives. 

lando smiles and nods. “just like a car. if you get scared, you can slow down and stop, and i’ll run over to help you. you can go as slow as you’d like but don’t go too fast, you could hurt yourself or get dizzy.” 

“okay, dude,” stevie nods, trying her best to retain as much of the information as she could. her eyes follow lando as he walks over towards theo’s kart, the two talking about something that made theo laugh. 

you watch from inside the building, worried eyes following lando’s every move. when he starts up stevie’s kart, you can briefly feel your heart stop beating. you’ve never been so scared for her, and even though lando assured you there’s no way she could hurt herself, you’re not sure if you could forgive yourself in the case of an accident. 

lando finds you holding a hand over your chest as you watched the two kids drive around the track. “hey,” he said, calmly, trying his best not to startle you. 

you gave him a weak smile. “hi. was she nervous?” 

“a little, but that’s normal.” he walked up and stood next to you, before placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “i explained to her how it works. she’s a smart kid and a fast learner.” 

“yeah,” you nodded. “what if something goes wrong?” 

“it won’t.” his voice was calm as you leaned into his touch, his arm sneaking down your back and around your waist to pull you into a side-hug. “i asked theo to let her pass him a few times so she gets the full experience of karting. maybe you’ll have a little racer on your hands.” 

your head subconsciously lays on his shoulder as your crossed arms stay firm against your chest. “yeah, don’t think i’d be able to afford it, but i guess her and theo would get to have more playdates.” 

“i’d help you,” he hummed, his own head resting atop of yours. “i mean, the competitions would probably cost a bit but i’d provide her with a kart and helmet. max would also love to pitch in.” 

“don’t be silly,” you laughed a little. “she already does ballet in the mornings.” 

“who said she can’t be a ballerina and a racer at the same time? she’d be the coolest kid on the planet if so,” he softly smiles, eyes looking down at your focused face. “besides, i’d get to spend a little more time with her mum.” 

“mhm,” you bit back a wider smile. “who says you can’t do that regardless?” 

lando’s heart skips a beat when you turn your head to look at him, only then realising how close you two actually were— his nose brushed yours when you raised your head and his breath fanned your face. he felt his stomach drop and he froze before finally giving in. 

just as you felt his lips inch closer to yours, an employee of his knocked on the doorframe to the room. “one of the kiddos stopped in the middle of the track and she’s asking for lando.” 

the curly-haired man jolts away from you, as if he was caught doing something he shouldn’t have been and turns around to awkwardly say, “uh, okay, i’ll go and, uhm, check.” 

you can’t help but shake your head with a small laugh as you watched the man leave the room at record speed. 

meanwhile, lando was trying to keep his composure in front of the kids. he’s sure they’d blab to you if they noticed him smiling like an idiot. “everything okay, kiddo?” he kneeled in front of stevie’s kart. 

stevie tries to pull the helmet off, but the buckle keeps it tightly situated on her small head. lando helps her unbuckle it and pulls the helmet off, watching as she takes off the bright pink balaclava— her choice— and sighs. “i’m hungry.” 

lando snorts at how random her request seemed. “alright, let’s go get theo and ask your mum if she’d like to join us for dinner, yeah?” 

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

“no, stevie, we don’t throw the food.” 

the little girl halted her movements, her hand in the air as her eyes focused on yours. she had a fist full of vegetables, ones that she clearly wasn’t enjoying, and was getting ready to throw on the floor and an evil glint in her eye. instead of doing as she first intended, she opened her fingers and the vegetables fell all over the table, a few of them landing in lando’s lap.

“sorry, sometimes she just-” you were already making up excuses for your daughter’s childish behaviour when lando cut you off.

“it’s okay, she’s probably overstimulated from an eventful day. it happens.” he shrugs as he picks the peas off from his lap. “y’know, theo threw up on me once after karting, which is why he refuses to eat before he goes on track anymore.”

you stifle a laugh before sitting back up from collecting the vegetables that fell to the floor. stevie was in active conversation with theo and seemed to have forgotten about the vegetables. a few minutes pass before lando speaks again.

“thank you,” he notices the confusion in the tilt of your head. “for coming. it means a lot to theo and, well, to me.” 

the sincerity in his voice made all the blood in your body rush to your cheeks, tinting them the gentlest shade of maroon that lando didn’t miss. “no worries, we’re happy to join you anytime.” 

lando ignores the feelings brewing in his chest and continues eating. you follow his lead and all four of you were done eating in another half hour. 

the waiter came to your table and before you could even ask to split the bill, lando was handing hera a few paper bills and she had scurried off to get his change. 

“weren’t we going to split?” you ask, a little confused. 

lando shrugged. “it’s on me, don’t worry about it.” 

you had already felt bad that he didn’t accept your money for the karting that day, or the ice cream he had bought for stevie a week or so ago, but dinner? you felt the guilt bubble in your stomach growing. “lando, it’s not fair on yo-“ 

“can you just accept that you don’t have to do everything by yourself?” he reasons. “i asked you to come to karting, i paid for it, same with dinner and that extra hour at the park so the kiddos could get ice cream from the ice cream truck. i did it because i want to and i don’t expect anything in return.”

when you look up at him, your expression clearly less upset than before, he decides to crack a joke. “except for maybe a kiss or two.” 

you roll your eyes and the waiter brings back his change just as you’re about to make a witty comeback. 

lando, being the gentleman that he is, offered to drive you both home and you couldn’t deny it after seeing how sleepy stevie had gotten. she fell asleep on the ride home and after lando pulled into the driveway of your small home, you got out to unbuckle her and carry her inside. 

theo waited patiently in the car, listening to a podcast about dinosaurs in his earbuds while lando walked you to your door. 

he smiled down at the sleeping stevie in your arms, bringing a hand up to gently caress her cheek with his finger. “we must’ve wore her out.” 

“she hadn’t had a nap today,” you looked down at your daughter. “pretty sure she’ll sleep through the night.” 

lando’s gaze had shifted to your face subconsciously and he didn’t realise how close you were getting when you looked back up at him. you pulled him in with a soft hold of his jaw, your lips gently pressing against his. 

lando’s hand came up to hold your cheek. the kiss lasted way longer than you intended, but you weren’t complaining. when you finally pulled away, breathless and pink, lando was speechless and in awe. “thank you for today.” 

you closed the door behind yourself, watching through the window of your living room as his car pulled out of your driveway. stevie covered her mouth with her small hand as she giggled. “ooo, mama kissed cool dude.”

a small gasp left your lips as you looked down at stevie. “you saw that?” she nodded her small head. “oh, god.” 

࿐ ࿔*:･ may 28th

you were making dinner in the kitchen when stevie yelled for you from the living room. 

“what is it?” you walk down the hall while wiping your hands on a dishrag. stevie points at the window, lando’s car coming into view when you step closer. “oh, what’s he doing here?” 

stevie watches from the window as you make your way outside to greet a disheveled lando and a smiley theo. 

“hey, everything okay?” you ask when the man finally looks up at you. “i didn’t know you were coming over, i would’ve doubled up on dinner.” 

“i’m not staying for long,” he says, hastily. you could tell he was stressed out and rushing somewhere. “could you watch theo for tonight?” 

“what?” you blink. 

“it’s max, he, uhm,” lando turns to theo and tells him to run inside to see what stevie was up to. when the young boy is out of earshot, lando continues. “max isn’t eating or sleeping. he’s had a bad race and the media’s giving him shit for it. i’m going to visit him and check up on him, and i’d usually bring theo but i don’t want him to see max like that.” 

“oh, god.” you place a hand on lando’s shoulder and he just pulls you into a tight hug. “i can’t imagine how stressed you are. you go take care of max, okay? theo will be okay with us.”  

“thank you so much,” lando pulls away and pecks your lips. “i’ll be back tomorrow evening.” 

and before you can even register that he just kissed you, he’s in his car and halfway down the neighbourhood.

when you make your way inside, the kiddos are on the floor in the living room, theo’s backpack open with half of the content spilled out. 

“would you like to have dinner with us, theo?” you ask the boy and he shakes his head, explaining that lando had given him his dinner before hastily packing his sleepover bag. but when you offered a snack of crackers and cheese, the boy happily agreed.

you turned on an animated film for the kids to watch as you did your washing up for the night before bed. a small smile creeped up on your face as you heard the two little humans giggling about something that only existed in their own world.

as the evening progressed and the kids grew more tired, you laid them both to bed. stevie had a second bed in her room as her cousin often comes visit during the summer, which ended up being perfect for a kid theo’s height. 

routinely, you were obligated to switch on the starry night light and read a story. theo requested a bedtime story about dinosaurs, meanwhile stevie wanted one about princesses, and you somehow managed to make both work.

once you heard the familiar tiny snores escape stevie’s lips, and when theo had turned to his side, you left the room and kept a small crevice of the door ajar. 

the next morning, you had already begun to prepare pancakes while dulcet sounds of jazz music filled your kitchen, when theo gently tugged on your apron. 

“you okay?” you kneeled down to his height and theo rubbed his tired eyes awake before pulling you into a hug. “oh.” 

“dad always gives me morning cuddles,” he explained, a certain sadness in his voice that broke your heart to hear. 

you picked the boy up in your arms and gently caressed his back. “you miss him, huh?” 

theo just nodded, nestling his head onto your shoulder as his arms laid draped over your biceps. “i knew you were as nice as dad said.” 

you can’t help but softly smile at his comment. “thank you, theo. he talks about me?” 

you knew it was wrong to ask a kid such a question, but the words had already escaped your mouth before you could catch them. 

“sometimes,” he hums, a yawn threatening to make its presence. “i think he likes you a lot.” 

“yeah? how so?” you poke his side as a tease. 

theo straightens up a bit, to see your face. “he gets shy when he talks about you to maxie and pietra. and he gets all red like you are right now.” 

you shake your head and tickle his face with the hair that flings around you both. “am not.”

“are too,” he giggles. 

you place him down on the ground and give him an encouraging tap on the back. “how about you go wake stevie up for pancakes?” 

“can you cut it into a pterodactyl?” 

 “can i cut it into a pterodactyl?” theo giggles when you scoff, displaying faux offence. “of course i can.”

the little boy runs back down the hallway and towards stevie’s room. your heart bursts a little when he calls out for your daughter.

“stevie! your mum’s making dinosaur pancakes!” 

࿐ ࿔*:･ june 10th

you expected your first date with lando to be somewhere fancy enough for you to wear a dress you bought while still pregnant with stevie. 

fortunately for both of you, lando offered a night in and you were far too big of a romcom lover to deny his request. 

“thank god you agreed to this,” lando slumps his shoulders when you pry open your front door. you take a second to admire his simple attire— a light blue zip up hoodie with matching sweatpants. 

you move to the side and open the door a little more to let him in. “thank god to max and pietra for agreeing to watch both the kids.” 

“oh, yeah, they’ve been begging me to bring both you and stevie over since the first time you four met.” he sets the bags of stuff down on the dining table. “i think pietra adores you a little.” 

“i hope she knows the feelings are mutual, she’s so cool.” you smile softly. 

“hey, she said the same about you!” lando laughs and when you come close enough, he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you into a hug from behind while unbagging. 

“i bought way too much ice cream but i didn’t know what flavour you liked best so i chose five that i hoped you liked.” he explains as he takes out the third box. “oh, and wine.” 

you lean back into his chest and turn your head just barely to place a kiss on his jawline. “thank you.”

lando’s heartbeat speeds up in a brief second and he hopes you can’t see the blush on his face. he quickly recollects himself and, without letting you go, brings both of you to your kitchen. of course, both of you being so close against one another means that you nearly trip and fall with every step you take. 

eventually, through many giggles and bumps into furniture, you two find yourselves in the living room, spoons and ice cream in hand. 

lando takes a seat on the sofa, arm draped over the back of it as an invitation for you to join him. once you pluck the remote off the coffee table and fetch a blanket for the two of you, lando feels you nestle against him.

“what’re we watching?” he asks, eyes focused on you instead of the screen. 

you shrug. “horror movie?” 

“no,” he sternly says. “i hate them. rom-com, please.”

you stifle a laugh and focus back on the television. after skimming through the films, the two of you choose notting hill and cozy up to watch it. 

about half an hour in, you notice lando’s heartbeat quicken underneath your cheek, but you decide to brush it off as nothing. eventually, he speaks up. 

“so, i’ve been thinking,” lando begins, his voice soft and cautious. his eyes search your face, looking for any sign that might stop him from saying what’s on his mind. but all he sees is the face he’s grown to love and that only urges him to continue.

you slightly sit up, a little worried by what he’s going to say. “about what?”

“us, our kids, you.” he reaches over to grab your hand in his. as his thumb gently caresses the back of your hand, his eyes rest on yours. “i love the way things are between us lately, and i like being around you and stevie, but i want to be more than just movie nights and playdates.” 

your heart skips a beat. “you mean… like, officially? you want to be together?” 

he nods with that same smile you’ve grown so fond of. “yeah, i mean, i know it’s a long-shot and it’s risky with our kids’ friendship and all, but theo already loves you and i’m sure stevie adores me,” he jokes and you playfully roll your eyes. “but it would make me the happiest man alive if you were my girlfriend.” 

“wow,” you’re speechless. “i didn’t think i’d actually hear you say that.”

“i’ve been overthinking it for days,” he laughs, anxiety riddled all across his face as he watches your expression. he can’t exactly read it and that makes him even more nervous. “not to pressure you or anything-“

“yes,” you cut him off, a wide grin on your face as he pulls you into a hug. “i’ve never been so giddy about someone before.”

“yeah?” he flashes you that same, wide grin before pulling you in for a kiss.

“oh gosh, we have to tell the kids,” you gasp with a hand gently pushing lando’s kissy face away. he furrows his brows, confused as for why he can’t kiss his girlfriend.

“theo knows,” lando shrugs. “i told him that i’d be asking you to be my girlfriend and at first asked if he’d be okay with that.”

“and what’d he say?” you lay your head in lando’s lap as he plays with your hair, a small smile on his face. 

“he asked if that means you’ll be able to stay around more, and then said that you make the best pancakes.”

“oh, did he tell you about the dinosaur pancakes?”

lando nods. “he asked me to make them the next morning and told me to take him to your house, because i didn’t get them right.”

a laugh escapes your lips. “you could’ve come over, you know? i would’ve been happy to serve theo some more dino pancakes, and maybe taught you how to make them.”

“yeah?” he leans down to place a kiss on your lips, hoping that this time you don’t push him away. and it’s quite the opposite actually, because he feels your hand on the back of his head, tugging gently at the curls cascading down his neck as you pull him in deeper.

despite having kissed you a couple times before, this kiss makes lando that much more excited to spend as much time with you as you and stevie were willing to grant him. 

and he’ll make sure it’s the most loved you two will ever feel. 

࿐ ࿔*:･ december 14th

“theo, watch your step.”

the young boy was carrying a box bigger than himself with stevie following right behind him, a smaller box of her stuff in hand. 

today was the day you were moving into your new home– a home you and stevie will be sharing with the two most important boys in your life– and you couldn’t be more excited. 

to some, it seemed like it all came too soon— the relationship, the moving in together, caring for each other’s child whenever the other needed it, but neither you nor lando cared what others thought. 

it was clear from the first few months of knowing you that lando would be head over heels in love with you. he didn’t care how quickly your lives entwined, instead he was excited to see what would grow from it.

you placed the last few boxes in the living room and stood in the doorframe to the dining room, watching as stevie and theo chased each other, their laughter echoing off of the walls. 

lando’s hands creep around your waist as he pulls you in from behind. he places a gentle kiss against your hairline, “welcome home, love.”

you turn around to face him, arms instinctively hugging his neck as your eyes well with tears. 

“welcome home to us.” 

࿐ ࿔*:･ two years later, june 26th

the sun peeked from behind the clouds, rays of light bouncing off of your face as the pinks, blues and oranges merged into a beautiful sunset above the water. 

it was one of the warmer days and lando decided to take you all out for a picnic on the beach. it wasn’t unusual for him to plan spontaneous activities, but still he was nervous you knew what he was up to. 

the velvet box sat tucked away in the bag of stuff he packed, his heartbeat quickening every time you dove into it to find something you needed. 

that’s where theo came in.

“y/n,” he called out just as your hand was reaching into the exact corner the box was located in. you turned your attention to the boy, sitting up straight. 

while theo was blowing your mind with his dinosaur facts, lando hastily stuck his hand into the bag and retrieved the ring box, immediately putting it into his pocket. when theo glanced back over to his dad, lando gave him a reassuring wink and the boy took off to play by the water with stevie, again. 

“oh, guess that’s all he wanted,” you shrugged before turning around to lando. “you didn’t pack any napkins?” 

“oh,” lando panicked. fuck, through all his meticulous planning with max and pietra, he forgot to pack the most important thing. how was he supposed to propose with his hands all messy? “uhm, no, must’ve forgot, sorry.”

you leaned over to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. “that’s alright, i’ll go splash around in the water with the kiddos and wash my hands then.” 

lando watched as you pulled yourself up and made your way towards the water, his heart pounding against his sternum. he took one last glance at the box that could make or break the future with you he had already planned out in his head, and followed your lead. 

once he was close enough, stevie ran up to him. “lando! the water is so warm, come feel it.” 

he couldn’t say no to the little girls pleading eyes and followed her as she dragged him to the water. he took that as one last chance to calm himself down and get it over with. 

lando was only nervous because it wasn’t just you he’s proposing to. stevie had become such an important part of his life that he’s afraid of ruining her perception of him if the proposal were to go wrong. and his mother already loved the girl, even after the handful of times they’ve met. 

so, anxiety was understandable in his case.

he watched stevie’s wide grin as she looked out at the water, and then behind herself to where her mum and theo were chatting. 

you had noticed lando’s behaviour change, ever since last night, but you figured it was something he’d bring up to you if he wanted to talk about it, so you haven’t paid much thought to it. 

lando’s made his to you, stevie’s small hand in his, and his other one on the box. his chest felt like it was getting smaller and smaller with each step he took towards you. the only thing that calmed him down was your smile while looking at them both. 

you watched as stevie let go and ran towards you, yet quickly swerved to find where theo was. your eyes followed her to see that she wouldn’t run into any trouble, and when you turned back around, you saw a nervous lando. “you okay?” you nervously laugh. “you’ve been weird all day today.” 

“there’s so many things i could say to you right now, but i think it’s better to save them for our vows.”

“vow- what?” you furrow your brows. that’s when he sinks down to one knee and you feel your eyes well up with tears.

he took a breath, a small smile adorning his face, and then the words you had dreamed of hearing, ever since you were a little girl, left his mouth.

“will you marry me?”

࿐ ࿔*:･ wedding day

you watched the on-going bustle of guests from the window of your lonesome dressing room.

the echoing sound of your heart pounding against your sternum was loud in your head as you tried to steady your breathing. this was actually, really happening. 

you felt your hands shake with how nervous you were, albeit having practiced your vows in the mirror for the past two months, and knowing that lando is truly the one you wish to spend the rest of your life with. 

your feet drag you across the hardwood floor of the dressing room, fingers nervously fiddling with one of the more textured parts of your dress. you could feel yourself getting more and more nervous as the clock on the wall ticked by, each second granting you a moment more of anxiety and stress. 

your head whips towards the door when a knock echoes through the empty room. “uhm, who is it?” 

the door pries open to reveal a curly head of hair with a hand over his eyes. “me, may i come in?” 

“what the hell, no?!” you exclaim, panicking. “it’s bad luck for the groom to see his bride before the ceremony, we talked about this.” 

despite your best efforts to verbally usher him out, lando makes his way inside and shuts the door behind him, his eyelashes resting atop his cheeks as the green of his irises stay hidden behind eyelids. 

“i know, i know,” he sighs in defeat. “but i just had to come see you before the ceremony. well, not see you, exactly, but just, be in your presence, i guess.” 

you drop your arms by your sides, sulking a little. “i’m so nervous, lan,” lando could hear your pout and it made him smile. 

“i know, me too,” he makes his way over to where he thinks you are and reaches a hand out to find the cusp of your waist. he can feel the fabric of the dress as it sits atop your skin, a smirk forming on his lips. “feels pretty.”

“hey, no!” you swat his hand away. “i’ll run away from the wedding if you do that again.”

“oh, c’mon,” he defends, smiling underneath his palm. his eyes were still shut and his left hand covered them tightly, not a single space left between his fingers to ensure that he couldn’t get even a glance. “i don’t even get a feel?” 

“not even a feel,” you cross your arms over your chest and realised he can’t see your sassiness like he usually would. “i just crossed my arms, by the way.”

“i know,” lando shrugs. “i also know you’ve been staring out the window and ogling at people like a psycho.”

you furrow your brows, “how’d you know that?”

“cause i know you.” 

a shiver runs down your spine and you can’t help but blush at what lando says, even after close to three years of being together. “what did you really come here for?”

“a good luck kiss?” he asks, so soft and hopeful, that it makes you give in. lando feels your hands gently guiding his face down towards yours, before your lips softly rest against his. he, of course, tries to kiss you like usual– aggressive, long and sweet. 

yet you pull away before he can even think of pulling you in by the chin. “the better kiss is for the ceremony, babe,”

he sighs and drops his shoulders, his head dropping as he displays faux disappointment. “fine, whatever. saying you hate me would hurt less.”

“yeah, because i hate you so much that both me and my daughter are taking your last name,” you roll your eyes. 

“our daughter,” his voice is stern when he corrects you. lando hears a noise outside the door, suddenly alert and tense. “i think it’s almost time.”

you take one last peek out the window and notice everyone in their seats. “oh, god, yeah. go, you can’t be seen here.”

“alright, love you, see you out there” he turns around and reaches for the door. “pretend i winked at you when i said ‘see you out there’, cause i couldn’t actually wink an-“

“lando, go!” you step closer to him, your dress whispering beneath you as your hands gently urge him to leave. 

“one more kiss?” he suddenly turns back around and you roll your eyes. 

“you’re impossible,” you cup his face again.

“so i’ve been told,” he smirks against your lips. “and yet you’re marrying me, mrs. norris.”

“i wouldn’t have it any other way,” you place another peck against his pursed lips before the door shuts in front of you, and you’re left alone with your thoughts, again. 

you stand there for a moment, heart racing and palms sweating, yet still you were feeling more certain than ever that this was the best decision you ever could’ve made.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

the ceremony has long passed and now you are in the middle of the dance floor, your hands held with theo. 

the young boy expressed that he didn’t want to dance anymore, so you brought him to the table where his plate sits. on it, of course, are the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets you and lando specifically requested for theo to have. 

your kids were now six and five, both very unique and yet somehow very similar. 

theodore maxwell norris was a smart boy, interested in pretty much anything to do with dinosaurs, space or monster trucks. he requested to spend his sixth birthday at a museum, which stevie was absolutely thrilled with. the two young children had always known how to entertain each other, ever since they met. 

stephanie jane norris, albeit a year younger than theo, was also quite smart for her age. she found interest in princesses, nature and most recently, karting. she accompanied theo to multiple of his races and took part in some practice laps, and found that it’s actually more fun than she remembered. 

your eyes caught a glimpse of lando as he danced with stevie on the dance floor, the little girl actively shaking her head to a rock song and lando laughing at her with max. the girl then grabbed both of them by the hand and started dancing in a circle, in turn bringing a smile to your face. 

“y/n?” theo poked your arm to catch your attention. you look down at him as he’s sat on the chair, eyes glaring up to yours. “do i have to call you mum now?” 

you kneel down to be his height and place a reassuring hand on his shoulder, “you don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.” 

the little boy just shrugs before taking another chicken nugget off of his plate, “okay, mum.”

you felt your heart swell and eyes well with tears at the fact that he so casually called you mum. you had imagined that it’d take at least a few more years of getting more comfortable with you for that to happen, but the boy saw no reason not to call you that. stevie called lando dad, anyway, so it only seemed fair in his eyes.

what theodore failed to realise was that, without even knowing it, he managed to make extra room in your heart and build a pillow fort there, in which he and stevie resided. you had convinced yourself that stevie would be your only true love in this world, that you didn’t need to meet anyone or have more kids.

it’s funny how a man and his son could waltz their way into your life, and turn it around for the better. 

theo felt you place a gentle kiss to his head before you excused yourself to go dance with his dad. in the meanwhile, stevie had made her way behind theo and scared him. 

“don’t do that, stevie,” theodore warns before picking up his apple juice box and taking a few gulps. 

the girl shifts her weight from her heels to her toes. “sorry, theo. do you want to dance?” 

“can i be a dancing t-rex?” he asked, an eyebrow rising with curiosity. 

stevie giggled. “only if i can be your sister t-rex. let’s go!”  

he watched as you ran back towards the dance floor, his face still evidently confused as he mumbled to himself, “i thought she already was my sister?” 

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟinterview about max fewtrell’s wdc

“theo! daddy’s on tv!” stevie’s voice echoed through the living room and theo came rushing in with a bowl of popcorn, as if the interview was some sort of movie.

you were sandwiched between the two kids, the bowl strategically placed in your lap so they don’t have to strain too much to get their snack. 

the television screen showed a clear shot of lando and max chatting, lando’s arm wrapped around his best friend’s shoulders as he congratulated him again. 

the interviewer— theo had informed you that he was a retired formula one driver, nico rosberg— invited them in to chat and all three of you eagerly watched, waiting for them to start talking. 

“lando! what a pleasant surprise to see you here,” his german, or maybe british, accent echoed in the living room. “haven’t seen you here since you left the sport.”

“yeah, y’know,” lando flashed his wide, toothy grin, “life had other plans.” 

“yeah?” nico tilted his head to the side. “how’s your family? your son doing okay?”

lando pointed at the camera next to them. “they’re watching from our home back in england,” he turns his face towards the lens and waves at it. “hi guys.”

stevie and theo eagerly wave back. “hi dad!” they say, in unison, before breaking into a fit of giggles. 

lando continued talking about personal matters, trying his best not to get too into it. he knew how the media was, and you had already had some encounters with less than pleasant fans. 

finally, as nico was ready to wrap up the interview, he asked lando if there was anything he missed from his racing days. 

“honestly? no.” he shrugged. “i think quitting opened up a plethora of new opportunities for me, including growing my own little family. my wife and i are blessed to have each other and raise our daughter and sons.”

“sons?” nico furrows his brows. he lowers the microphone away from their faces and leans in cautiously. “i thought you had only theo?” 

theo looks up at you. “you’re pregnant?” 

“i’m going to have another brother? awesome!” stevie jumped up on the couch, and your fingers found the bridge of your nose to pinch, in search of any comfort. 

lando panicked. “i, uhm, max did great. he’s much stronger and tougher than he lets on, and maybe we should let the champion talk, yeah?” he blurted out all in one breath as he grabbed max by the shoulders and pulled him towards nico. max shook his head with confusion before turning towards the interviewer. 

little did he know his best friend just announced your pregnancy to the entire world. 

࿐ ࿔*:･ mother’s day

“mum!” 

you heard their fragile little voices from behind your closed bedroom door and tried your best to sit up, your pregnant belly making it that much harder to function. 

you’ve been on bedrest for the past week, and it’s been absolutely amazing getting to rest, but so boring. what does one do when forced to stay in bed all day? 

stevie and theo knew the answer.

“could we make mother’s day cards for mum?” theo asked lando over breakfast, just as he was making your oatmeal with berries.

the curly-haired man shrugged. “sure, but you only have until tomorrow morning.”

“ooh! and can we get her heart balloons and flowers?” stevie muffled, as she finished up the last bites of her pancake.  

“we don’t speak with our mouths full, love,” lando warns. “but yes, we can also get her balloons and flowers. you guys think she’ll like that?” 

“and a kiss from dad,” stevie giggled before hopping off her chair and making her way to the dish washer. lando shook his head with a laugh. 

in the very crack of morning, while all of you were sound asleep, lando had gone to the grocery store to buy all the necessities— red roses, self care items, some sweets and, of course, heart balloons, as per stevie’s instructions. 

when the kiddos woke up and when lando had made sure you were awake as well, they made their way to the master bedroom. 

their small hands knocked a rhythm onto the door before they heard your silent “come in!” 

your face lit up with a smile when your three favourite people made their way into the bedroom. “happy mother’s day!” the three of them smiled at you and lando pouted when he saw your eyes well with tears.

you soundlessly said “hormones” before stretching your arms out to bring both of your little loves into a hug.  

stevie presented you her card first. “it’s us! and we’re on an air balloon. and that’s baby.” 

she pointed her little fingers at the five figures on the page— you were holding hands with lando and next to you stood your three children. the newborn baby was in a stroller, which you took as a sign that stevie hopes your son will be here soon. 

next it was theo’s turn. he gave you the card without saying anything, instead offering you another hug when tears spilled down your cheeks as you read it. stars live in space and also in you! happy mother’s day. scribbled in the cutest six year old writing you’ve ever read. 

lando later explained that theo had watched a video about there, supposedly, being stardust in everyone’s blood, which made you even more emotional.

“thank you, my loves,” you hugged them all once again before lando made his way over to give you a kiss and the flowers. 

“thank you for being the best wife and mother to my kids that i could have asked for.”

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟwhere it all began.

baby noises and giggles fill your living room as you try to set up the camera to the best of your abilities. 

“theo, honey, could you hold henry more towards the middle?” you ask as you press your eye to the viewfinder eyepiece to check what the photo would look like. 

stevie sat on the left side of the sofa, an empty space left on the edge for you, as your newest addition— a six month old boy named henry parker norris— was snuggled between her and theo, with lando on the far right edge. 

“babe, just set it to video and come sit,” lando said, a little annoyed by how long the whole process is taking. “henry’s getting fussy.” 

“he’s okay, lan,” you roll your eyes. “and this is going in stevie’s scrapbook, so it needs to be perfect.”

it’s a few more minutes before you finally sit down and wait for ten seconds before you hear the click of your camera. after close inspection, you realise that stevie was making a weird face, lando was mid-blink, your hair looked a mess and theo was looking at henry. 

a sigh of defeat escapes your lips right as your front door opens and in comes pietra. “oh my god, thank god you’re here.” you exclaim, as if you hadn’t invited her for coffee, and she looks at you with a confused smile. “can you help with family photos?” 

she nodded and, without hesitation, followed you back to the living room. pietra stood behind the camera on the not-so-stable tripod and ordered you all around before snapping a few pictures. her logic was that if you take enough pictures in a set amount of time, at least a few of them are going to turn out good. 

and, after inspecting the pictures closely once more and deciding that they’re better than just good, you give her a hug and slump into it. “thank you, i was beginning to lose hope of making her a good scrapbook spread for her birthday.” 

pietra laughed. “she’s lucky to have such a hard-working mum, so i doubt she’d mind. but i’m happy to help!” 

after giving him the green light, lando helped the kids change and took care of henry’s feeding and diaper before packing them all up for a walk. “we’ll go make dinner while you two take my little man on a walk, sound good?”

you nodded and gave him a soft peck, and pietra followed you out to the front yard. both of you watched as lando, stevie and theo walked towards the car, on their way to the grocery store, while little henry waited for you, snug in his stroller. 

“i never imagined it,” pietra started. “lando being a dad to more than just theo, i mean. it suits him.” 

“yeah?” you turn your head towards her, a small and proud smile on your face as your fingers softly wrapped around the handle of the stroller. “i never imagined finding anyone else as important as stevie was to me. like i didn’t know my heart could expand enough to fit more than just her in there, y’know.” 

“yeah,” she nodded, following you as you made your way towards one of your favourite places in the world. “i mean, i guess that makes sense since you were each other’s biggest love for three years.”

“yeah, but now she’s a lot more loving to lando than me” a laugh leaves your lips. the chilly spring air caressed your cheeks as you pushed the beige coloured stroller. your little newborn lay peacefully in it, little eyes curiously wandering around. 

he was barely six and a half months old, but already so attentive, responsive and curious, and looked just like stevie when she was this age. he was a peaceful baby so far— not much fussing during the day and he slept well at nights. on the few occasions that he didn’t, lando would be up in a flash to take care of your little henry’s needs.

it was endearing to watch him explore fatherhood with three kids now, as opposed to when it was just him and theo. you admired how sweet he was with stevie while explaining why he does what he does when changing diapers or fixing bottles, or how he intently listened to theo’s explanation on how to properly burp a baby. 

“is this the place?” pietra nudged her chin at the playground that’s slowly coming more into view. it’s a little more worn now– the paint had chipped off the bars where theo used to pretend he was a monkey on, and the slide had little divots, yet it used to be smooth and barely worn out when stevie used to insist on taking it backwards, with her belly to the metal.

it brought back some nostalgia to when you first met lando. it was on the very same bench that pietra was sitting on right now. you watched the playground with a small smile on your lips, a tear threatening to spill from your eye.

henry fussed in the stroller and immediately calmed down when you placed a gentle hand on his tummy to steady him. “we’re at the playground. you’ll get to play here with your brother and sister when you’re a little older.”

pietra silently watched as you picked him up and gently laid his cheek to rest on yours, his little eyes adjusting to the light around him. henry looked around, the plethora of colours elicited a few excited ooh’s from his little body. “this is where i met your dada,” you smiled at henry. 

henry cooed as you pointed to things at the playground and explained each ones significance. you knew he didn’t understand it yet, but you were willing to tell him the story over and over again. it was the biggest twist of fate you had ever experienced– that very morning, stevie had begged you to finally take a walk since it had been too cold for months now, and you agreed.

if you had been just a little more careful and told her to wait another day, week or month, chances are you wouldn’t be holding your baby while your husband made dinner at home with your other two kids. 

pietra perked up when you walked over to her and she immediately extended her hands to take henry from you. “come to auntie p,” she baby talked as you handed her your son. “he has a nose just like lando’s.”

“he has the neck strength like lando’s, too.” you sit down beside her and closely watch as she gently bounced henry on her knees. just then, you blurted something that had been on your mind for a while. “do you think it’s weird that lando and i are together?”

“excuse me?” she turns to you with a confused face. “why would anyone think that?”

“i don’t know, i mean, like…” you take a second to collect your thoughts. it was starting to sound like you were regretting this life, meanwhile it was the complete opposite. “like the way we met, it was random.”

“it’s not random, love,” pietra rolls her eyes. “it’s something called fate.”

henry let out a happy noise at your question, his tiny fingers reaching out to poke at pietra’s face. “you agree, huh, lil’ man?” she asks as he pushes his whole hand to her cheek, and you can’t help but laugh at the unfolding scene in front of you.

after a few moments, when henry was back in his stroller and you two were on your way back home, you looked back to the area behind you with a sentimental look in your eye. “who knew playgrounds and playdates would bring me the loveliest life i could’ve imagined?”

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

taglist – @sheblogs @bakingpiastries @wierdflowerpower @444-leqz @n3versatisfied @landossainz @hc-dutch @myboysfavouritetoy @msimpala-67 @twinkodium @blogthebloggyblog @etherealdarlin @yawn-zi @charlesleclercwifey @laviedanslespetal @my-ylenia @emryb @shlkd21 @lestappen4lifexx @landonosescar @knivesdoingcartwheels @doofenshmirtzevil-inc @kpoplover-2013 @leclercsluvs @rawr-123s-stuff @tvdtw4ever @96mcobo @vintaqestar

[gottencents]

BAD BAD BAD - Yu Jimin

pairing. idol!karina x aespa!addedmember!reader

synopsis. When aespa’s self-proclaimed “loser” Y/N shocks everyone with her hidden baseball talent, she not only steals bases—but also Karina’s heart.

Seoul Olympic Stadium — a crisp spring afternoon. A charity baseball game featuring idols from multiple groups is being held to raise money for youth sports programs. The rest of aespa—Karina, Winter, Giselle, and Ningning—have shown up in matching team merch to support their least expected player: Y/N.

“Okay, this is the funniest thing SM’s ever done,” Winter said through a bite of hot dog, pointing toward the field. “They really sent Y/N to play in a baseball game?”

“She’s probably gonna break the bat trying to swing,” Ningning giggled, phone out to record the chaos.

Giselle nodded dramatically. “Ten bucks says she trips running to first base.”

Karina, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, didn’t say anything. She’d watched Y/N quietly stretch and warm up on the field for the past ten minutes, noting the way her grip on the bat was tight, precise, and the way she adjusted her cap just before walking onto the diamond. She didn’t look like she was pretending. She looked… confident.

“She’s been quiet about it,” Karina murmured, almost to herself.

Winter raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing,” Karina said, eyes still following Y/N. “Just… wait.”

Bottom of the 2nd Inning — Y/N at shortstop.

“Ground ball to short!” the announcer shouted.

Y/N moved like lightning, gloved the ball cleanly on the hop, and lasered it to first base.

“OUT!”

“Wait—was that her?” Giselle blinked.

Before they could react, the very next play: a pop fly headed shallow into left-center. Y/N turned and sprinted, making a diving catch that brought the entire crowd to their feet.

“THAT’S TWO!” the announcer yelled.

Karina stood slowly, hand covering her mouth in disbelief—and something else.

“Was she always that fast?” Ningning murmured.

The third out came a minute later: a full-body dive into a sliding grounder followed by a backhand flip to second for the out.

Karina’s heart thudded. “Oh my god.”

Top of the 4th — Y/N’s first at-bat.

“She probably doesn’t even know how to swing—”

CRACK.

The ball sailed out of the park, disappearing over the left field fence.

The crowd erupted.

Winter screamed. “SHE JUST—NO WAY.”

Giselle grabbed Karina’s arm. “WHAT IS HAPPENING?”

Y/N rounded the bases calmly, helmet tucked low. But as she passed the aespa section, her head tilted slightly—and Karina could swear she winked.

Later in the game:

Five stolen bases. Three more at-bats.

Three home runs.

Every time Y/N stepped up to the plate, the crowd leaned forward. Every time she got on base, she stole her way around the diamond with calculated precision and raw speed. She didn’t even celebrate. She just played.

Karina had barely sat down. Her heart wouldn’t stop racing. There was something intoxicating about the way Y/N moved—sharp, focused, electric. And for the first time, she saw something she hadn’t before.

She saw the girl behind the nerdy anime rambles, behind the loser Twitch streams and long rants about Marvel timelines. She saw all of Y/N. And she was completely, utterly gone.

Post-game. Y/N is named MVP.

Back in the dugout, aespa surrounds her.

Winter grabs Y/N’s shoulders. “You’ve been LYING to us.”

“I thought you were allergic to the sun,” Giselle gasped. “How did you just morph into a baseball prodigy ?!”

Ningning flung her arms around her. “You have stats! You have MVP stats!”

Y/N laughed, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. “I played back in the States. Shortstop all through middle and high school. Just… never really talked about it. Didn’t seem like something anyone would care about.”

Karina stepped forward, quiet but steady. “I care.”

The others immediately backed off, eyebrows raised in unison.

Y/N blinked. “You do?”

Karina nodded, lips twitching into a smile. “That was… incredible. I’ve never seen you like that before.”

Y/N’s confidence faltered just a little. “You mean like… not a loser?”

Karina’s smile softened. She reached out and gently tugged on the sleeve of Y/N’s jersey.

“No. I mean, I’ve always liked the loser version of you. The Y/N who debates superhero rankings for an hour straight. The one who rage-quits games on stream and immediately apologizes. That’s the version I started falling for.”

Y/N froze. “Falling?”

Karina stepped closer. “But today? Watching you do what you love, totally in your element, completely owning the field? That just sealed it.”

Y/N’s ears went red. “So… you’re saying you—”

“I’m saying,” Karina interrupted, voice soft, “that maybe you and I should leave early, skip the after-party, and hang out somewhere where I get you all to myself.”

Y/N couldn’t breathe for a second. “I know a rooftop.”

Karina raised an eyebrow. “With ramen?”

“Always.”

After midnight. The dorm’s living room is softly lit by the city lights through the window. The air is quiet, everyone else in the dorm already asleep. Y/N is curled up on the couch in a loose shirt and joggers, a half-finished can of Coke resting on the coffee table. Karina enters quietly, barefoot, in a hoodie and shorts. She pauses when she sees Y/N still awake.

“Can’t sleep?” Karina asked gently, stepping into the room.

Y/N looked up and gave her a sheepish smile. “Adrenaline’s still kinda punching me in the face.”

Karina chuckled, making her way over. “Understandable. You basically turned into an anime protagonist today.”

Y/N groaned and dropped her head back against the couch. “Don’t say that. I’ll never live it down. My DMs are probably full of ‘shortstop slayer’ memes.”

Karina laughed, settling beside her on the couch. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“I’m not used to it. People being impressed by me, I mean. Not in that way.”

Karina tilted her head. “You’re used to people underestimating you.”

Y/N paused. “Yeah.”

There was a beat of silence between them, not awkward, but charged—like something unspoken had just stepped into the room.

Karina’s voice was softer now. “You didn’t just impress people today, Y/N. You changed the narrative.”

Y/N looked at her, hesitant. “What narrative?”

“The one you’ve been letting define you. The one where you’re the quirky side character. The ‘loser’ of aespa. You’re not just that. You never were.”

Y/N’s eyes dropped to her hands. She picked at the hem of her sleeve. “It’s easier to make the joke first, you know? Be the one who laughs at herself before anyone else does. Then it doesn’t hurt as much.”

Karina’s expression softened. Without saying anything, she reached over and gently took Y/N’s hand in hers, lacing their fingers together.

“You don’t need to shrink yourself to be loved,” Karina whispered. “Not with me.”

Y/N’s breath caught.

Karina held her gaze, steady and open. “I know you think you have to keep your guard up. That it’s safer to be the weird gamer girl who doesn’t get taken seriously. But I’ve been watching you longer than you think.”

Y/N blinked. “You have?”

Karina gave a soft nod. “Every late-night stream you stayed up for. Every time you randomly monologued about Marvel on a car ride. I didn’t just tolerate that. I liked it.”

Y/N’s voice was barely a whisper. “Even when I went on that thirty-minute rant about why Batman would lose to Gojo Satoru?”

Karina grinned. “Especially then.”

They both laughed quietly, the tension slowly melting into something warmer. Karina’s thumb brushed across Y/N’s knuckles, tender and grounding.

“I didn’t think someone like you would ever look at someone like me,” Y/N admitted. “You’re… Karina. The it-girl. The goddess. The standard.”

Karina’s smile faltered just a little—but not in sadness. More like she was seeing herself through Y/N’s eyes, and it overwhelmed her.

“I wish you could see what I see,” Karina whispered. “You were magnetic today. And not just because of the game. You were you. Completely, unapologetically. And it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Y/N looked at her, stunned. “Karina…”

“Can I kiss you?” Karina asked softly.

There was a heartbeat of stillness.

Y/N nodded. “Please.”

Karina leaned in slowly, giving her every chance to back away—but Y/N didn’t. Their lips met gently, hesitantly at first, before melting into something softer, deeper. Y/N’s hand came up to Karina’s cheek, fingers trembling slightly from nerves, from adrenaline, from everything.

When they finally pulled apart, both of them lingered in the closeness, noses brushing, foreheads resting together.

Y/N let out a breathless laugh. “I think I blacked out for a second.”

Karina grinned. “Same.”

Y/N tilted her head, voice barely above a whisper. “Does this mean you like me? Like, like-like?”

Karina laughed. “I just kissed you, Y/N.”

“You could be doing it for charity.”

Karina rolled her eyes playfully, then kissed her again—firmer this time, more certain.

“This isn’t charity,” she murmured against her lips. “It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time.”

Y/N exhaled shakily, her hand still on Karina’s cheek. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Karina smiled. “Because I thought maybe you’d never see me that way. But then I watched you on that field, completely in your element, and I realized… I didn’t want to wait anymore.”

Y/N leaned into her, their hands still tangled, hearts still racing.

“I think I’ve loved you since our third vocal lesson,” she whispered. “You sang one note and I forgot how to breathe.”

Karina blushed, eyes wide. “Okay, you win.”

Y/N smirked. “Always do.”

They laughed together, collapsing back against the couch, tangled up in each other and the quiet glow of a moment they never thought they’d have.

Outside, the city sparkled.

Inside, Y/N finally felt like she was home.

[cadyflowers]

pac : how ur pheromones affect others🩷🩵🩷🩵

hiii i'm cady take a deep breath and choose ur fav hello kitty pic🥰 the energy is juicy, flirty, mysterious, and a little magical… just like you 😚🍓

pile I ur pheromones give people nostalgia like warm fuzzies!! u smell like someone they have been looking for forever, someone theyve met in a dream they forgot. dreamy sweet like vanilla or summer rain on flower petals, youve probably been someones first love so many times. tall guys wit dark hair are so attracted to uuu

pile II: ur so hot, ur pheromones hit others hard, like smoke and heat and it gives boys sooo many nsfw thoughts i cant share😋😋😋 theres something intoxicating about u, men want to own u and taste u and chase u but they also see u as unreachable

pile III: ur pheromones are like spring air at 10 am, clean, youthful and so nice on ur skin. ur scent feels like fairy wings, morning dew and pink. u might have a pink aura or ur someone whos very cute. it makes others feel light headed and enchanted, ur vibe makes people want to level up

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

[madwomansapologist]

──────〃✰ KINKTOBER DAY 3: 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀

title: sweet dreams synopsis: watching the man you love deny himself of his needs, you take matters into your own hands. or lips, to be more precise. [1.5K] cw: established relationship, service top!reader, somnophilia, body worship, nipple stimulation, masturbation (m!receiving), oral (m!receiving), choking (gn!receiving), hair pulling, overstimulation.

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Some people give, some people take.

The world is a very complicated place, but it’s been a long time since you understood the balance is meant to be broken. Few rejoice youth’s spring, and only because most suffer the harshness of winter’s duties.

Kento knows that too. He saw spring escape from between his fingers as blood warmed his skin and worries filled his mind. A renowned soldier aware of the stupidity of the war he fought.

And he can’t ignore it. He tried, it would be so much easier to go on looking only at the path ahead of him, but Kento can’t. Isn’t that one of the reasons why you fell in love with him? Because he’s good. Because he cares.

Kento became the person that could’ve saved him once his youth rotted. Damn, Kento became the person that would’ve been able to save you when yours faded. He gives, wholeheartedly.

You only wish he would take something for himself too.

How many dreams have he chose to ignore? How many desires have he gave up on? For a man relying on the believe people are fundamentally entitled to have time, Kento doesn’t appear to have noticed how badly he deprives himself of it too.

The creak in the mattress made your eyes flutter open. “Kento?”, you babbled, fighting against your heavy eyelids.

He sighed. “I’m sorry”, Kento whispered. His body involved yours, his cold lips leaving kisses on your bare shoulder. “Go back to sleep, amor.”

You faced him, fingers intertwined with his golden locks. You stroked them, nails scratching lightly his head. Kento’s arms tightened against you. The tension on his body was palpable.

Curtains closed, your phone away so you would need to get up in the morning to turn off the alarm, the lampshade forgotten in the bedside table: you could still see his exhaustion. You felt it in the way Kento couldn’t let you go. You heard it in his deep breath. And smell it in the salty air, a subtle suggestion that blood was washed away.

“Was it bad?”

He hesitated. “Almost”, Kento said.

Your nails moved to his ear. Lightly, you caressed it. Your thumb followed the line of his jaw, the delicate valley of his lips, the veins of his neck. “I can make you forget about it”, you offered. You moved closer, leg sliding between his thighs.

Kento said nothing. Your knee found his crotch, pressing against it. Moving your open palm against his chest, you made a mental note to be good and soft. Your man had enough of rough for the night.

Supported on your elbow, you gave your warmth to his lips. A sweet kiss, innocent as if you couldn’t feel his cock hardening. Kento opened his lips, you almost taste the toothpaste.

And then he turned his face away, depriving himself once more. “I want this. You”, he sounded almost apologetic. As if he did something wrong. “But I’m so tired.”

 You moved your leg away, a deep sigh escaping from Kento’s throat. You took his hand from your hips, massaging his fingers as you led them to your mouth. “Dream with me”, you kissed each of his knuckles.

Kento chuckled. “I always do.”

He went back to hugging you, eyes closing as Kento adjusted his head on the pillow. You scratched his head, and continued even after he told you to rest.

Kento was really tired. He didn’t even call you stubborn.

You admired him. It was so dark, but your eyes still couldn’t look anywhere else. Such a sweet man. Always strong, always ready. The hand that executes is the same that holds you with care. The man that keeps on breathing out of rage wouldn’t dream of showing you anything but his love.

If there has to be a majority suffering, if this needs to be a rule, then you want Kento to be with the few. You wouldn’t mind feeling all the pain alone. As long as it’s his.

And now, already deep asleep, you can still feel him. Half rigid against your tummy. Kento Nanami, a man so used to not have what he wants. Your man, ever the sweetest, never taking what he desires.

So, if Kento won’t take, you’ll give to him. Wholeheartedly.

Your body is his. No complains from Kento will convince you that bleeding in his place isn’t the right thing to do. No pain will stop you from fighting battles alongside him. No tiredness will ever make you think twice before using your domain so he can heal properly.

Your mind is his too. When you look at Kento, all you do is wonder about his needs. Gazing at his eyes, you look for signs of exhaustion. At his thin cheeks, you plan healthy meals. His clothes make you turn on or off the heater. No sickness can get to him before you already know what medicine to buy.

His clock wouldn’t agree, and neither does Kento, but he owns your time too.

Slowly, you moved away from his embrace. The mattress creaked again, and you waited for him to say something. Kento couldn’t have noticed it less.

Your fingers worked on the buttons of his shirt. Putting the soft fabric away, you revealed his torso. Surrounded by darkness, you knew where to kiss every scar. One day you’ll draw stars all around them. Your nails explored the skin of his body, every line and curve remembered carefully by your mind.

Gently, you pressed his nipples between your fingers. You licked them, feeling as they grew rigid, and sucked on them. Leaving a glistening trail of saliva behind, you kissed his whole chest with open mouth.

You kneeled on the mattress, catching your breath. Stretching, you turned the lampshade on. If Kento wakes up, you want him to see how willing you’re to make him feel good. You know he’ll enjoy the sight as much as you love being seen.

Pulling down his boxers, you grabbed his half-hard cock. You pressed your thumb against the rosy head, biting your lips at the feel of him. A baffled grunt made to your ears.

You couldn’t wait any longer.

Placing a kiss over the head, you brushed your nose against his growing erection. Holding Kento, you sucked his heavy balls. The sound of it in the middle of a silent night made you feel like a sinner.

Hell doesn’t seem like that bad of a place now.

You licked his length, losing your mind at the muffled sounds he made. Making out with his head, you drooled over him. What a mess you were making. What a mess your mind was.

Oh, Kento. Such a giver. Always so careful. How you want to break him. Make him fall apart for you. To get Kento crying, begging for all his desires to come true. You would do anything he wanted. If only he would ask you.

Lost on your own fantasies, you chocked on him. So eager. You pumped his cock wet with your drool, so hard between your fingers, and prepared your jaw.

As you took him in, the tender flesh stretched you. Salty against your tongue. You chocked again, but this time you simply continued. With tears forming in your eyes, you devoured him.

You didn’t even notice when Kento’s eyes fluttered open. When the small grunts turned into sensitive moans. When he tried to move, half present and half lost in a sweet dream.

“Wh- “, his fingers grabbed the sheets. Kento moved his neck, the sudden motion burning his wounded back, and looked down. “Oh, fuck.”

Looking at you, eyes closed as you took his entirety into your mouth, Kento shuddered. His body fell on the pillows, hands grabbing your hair without a worry about not being gentle. He couldn’t think. Kento couldn’t do anything but feel.

His hips moved on their own, his mind nowhere to be found. Kento whimpered, eyes closed so hard he could see blurs all around. Was he dreaming still? It feels like one.

Deep into your throat, feeling it gagging around him, Kento cried. Sobbing, tears feel on his ears. It was too good, too sudden. His legs were shaking, his throat burning. Lost in a dream, unaware of how his fingers forced your head down on his length, Kento panted your insides with his thick load.

You didn’t allow one drop to go wasted.

After his high came to an end, Kento noticed he wasn’t breathing. He opened his mouth, trying to get as much air as he could. His throat ached as Kento gasped, surprised by the sweetest kiss he ever received.

“I’m sorry”, you whispered against his lips. Stroking the golden locks, you kissed his chin and cheeks. “Go back to sleep.”

So Kento laughed. Like a maniac. “You are…” Dizzy eyes glared at you, his mouth left hanging open. He smiled. You couldn’t see, but you heard it. He left kisses all over your face. “Dream with me”, he asked.

“I always do”, was your response.

Was the truth.       

taglist: @ffinosie @lovelyy-moonlight @alzaira @s2-angells @eyes-ofhell @inlovewithmariah @chiiyohiimee @shaquilles-0atmeal @bloodyziggy @salemey @kcch-ns @notanalienindisguiseblink @py-schi

© all rights reserved to MADWOMANSAPOLOGIST

[saturnville]

smallville hold em | clark kent

Pairing: Smallville!Clark Kent x Black Fem OC!Zara Zane Warning: None. Suggestive-ish AN: Yeah, the title is corny, and what about it? Reminder: Likes are excellent, but comments, reblogs, and asks are highly encouraged. Enjoy!

The attic of the Kent Farm became the sanctuary she needed when she wasn’t in the midst of four walls in her quaint church building. It was her home away from home. She was used to a different cooking style, but the smell of homemade apple pie with ice cream after a hearty meal of a unique dish she’d never tried had her return every Wednesday night until it became her second home. 

Mr. and Mrs. Kent always insisted the doors were wide open whenever she wanted to stop by. Their invitation had her peeking through the screen door with a smile. “Bad time?” she asked with a small smile. 

“Never. Dinner’ll be ready soon,” answered Mrs. Clark with a warm smile that reminded her of her mother's kindness. “Clark’s in the loft.” With a nod, a side hug for Mr. Kent, and an air kiss to Mrs. Kent, she scurried out of the kitchen and jogged toward the barn, eager for her eyes to land on the man who’d occupied her mind like a bad habit. 

A warm spring breeze guided her on the short commute to the loft on the Kent farm. The doors were cracked, leaving just enough room for her body to slide through. When she entered, her gaze lifted toward the loft where Clark stood bent over numerous scattered boxes, rummaging and digging around curiously. She smiled softly. 

To her right, there was a box labeled family photos. She assumed polaroids and digitals from his youth to his current age filled the cardboard box fully. To the left was miscellaneous. And out of it peeked a dark, hollow rim. Her footsteps were quiet as she inched toward the box. She plucked the item off the top, tilting her head as she registered it as a cowboy hat. A bit thick, slightly bent from years of use, then supposed disregard. 

With one swift movement, her straight hair was made frizzy by the new accessory she found joy in. A low rattle caught her attention. Clark bent over another box and was too focused to notice at first. She leaned against the steps, eyes narrowed with a soft, playful smirk as she took him in. He had always been easy on the eyes, but today…today was different. Today, he was hers. Not Smallville’s unknown hero who saved its inhabitants from the monster of the day. Hers.

“Look what I found, cowboy,” she called out, her voice soft but teasing. A clatter from colliding objects filled her ears. His body tense, that strong back of his, and he turned slowly. His expression flickered between surprise and something she couldn’t quite read. Her heart skipped a beat like a pebble across the water. How he looked at her—parted lips with a soft gaze—warmed her. 

“Well, look at you, sweet girl,” he said, voice low like a murmur, almost playful. He stood to his full height, arms folded across his chest as his blue eyes lingered on her, taking in the sight of her in the hat sitting just a little too big on her head. Maybe it’d fit better when her hair was braided or freed naturally. 

“You like?" She circled slowly, offering a full view of how the new addition transformed her. "I could get used to this.” She said breathlessly as if she were in awe of the newfound feeling of being a country girl in a small town in Kansas. The smile on her face was as soft as her perfume that wafted through the air. 

His eyes, unashamedly, passed over her figure in awe. Her school clothes—a T-shirt with jeans and sandals—had been replaced by a snug tank top and little daisy dukes she paired with an old pair of boots, showing off a pair of long, brown legs that glistened under the sun. His fingers twitched, itching to feel the heat of her body against his. 

"I do," Clark keened with a slow nod. He stepped over a carelessly tossed item, and she met him halfway, standing in front of the giant of a man she called her boyfriend. Clark's hands fell from his chest to readjust the hat on her head. She giggled like a girl in middle school who her crush had complimented. "Looks like you belong out here. Farm life might suit you well, cowgirl." 

Oh, she'd have something to ride later, for sure. She smiled wider. "And be out here with my favorite farm boy?" She placed her hands on his broad chest, fingers clenching around his white shirt, damp from work hours in the hot barn. Her eyebrow quipped, and her lips raised in a slight smirk. "I'll take it any day." 

White teeth peeked behind rosy lips. A large hand slid around her back, palming her waist before settling on the curve of her hip. "S'that right?" Tension hung in the air, thick and awaiting to be sliced. Her seemingly shy boyfriend was not all that folks assumed. Smart and handsome, everyone knew. But the teasing, sensual Cassanova he was behind closed doors was a well-kept secret meant for just them. He had her wrapped around his finger, and she loved it. 

Clark's hand left her waist, much to her dismay, and crept slowly up her stomach. His thumb tweaked the silver ring in her belly before pausing at her chest. His fingers lingered beneath the fabric of her shirt, but not too long, and passed up her collarbone, toying with the gold necklace. She exhaled shakily, and her eyes fluttered closed. Each inch he moved felt like a countdown toward a long-awaited reward she didn't know she'd earned. Soon, his long fingers cupped her neck, pulling her chin so she'd meet his eyes. Her pulse quickened as his fingers skated across her skin, sending a wave of desire through her body. She wanted to erase the space between them but stayed still, caught between the dance of passion and restraint. 

"You sure about that?" he countered, voice hushed. He lowered his lips to hers, his brushing against hers, but never giving in to what she wanted. Her fingers fell to his waist, clenching the fabric of his shirt tightly. Whatever game he was playing sent her into overdrive, and she needed a release before she short-circuited. 

She held his gaze, their closeness too intense to be resolved by a simple kiss just minutes before dinner. “Yeah,” she whispered, a soft sigh escaping her lips. “Always.”

A pleased hum passed his lips, which she swallowed with pride. His tongue darted out to caress her bottom lip. She whimpered—music to his ears. A loud crash from downstairs snapped them back to reality, breaking the spell between them. She pulled away first, and the spell shattered. Without another word, she turned toward the stairs.

"You owe me dessert," she called over her shoulder. Clark was on her tail like white on rice, eyebrow raised. "And no, it's not apple pie." 

Clark's eyebrows lowered, a slow grin spreading across his face. "Is that so?" He leaned in closer, his voice low, teasing. "Well, I guess I’ll have to make it up to you then, won’t I?" With a mischievous tap on her behind, he sent her into a fit of giggles, the sound like music to his ears. His smile remained smug and satisfied, knowing she’d get exactly what she wanted—maybe even more.

[cinnamanz]

✦ ─── 𝓒hampagne 𝓒oast , 𝓢ophia 𝓛aforteza do you miss me too?

─── 𝓨ou think about reaching out. just a text. just a line. this song still sounds like you. but you don’t. not because the love is gone—but because some stories are meant to live in the quiet. in glances. in songs. in memories. because letting go doesn’t mean you ever wanted to. and sophia—sweet, golden, soft at the edges and sharp at the center—was never really yours. but she was real.

❝𝓪ll my last strength against you,

𝓫aby tell me what you need.❞

౨ৎ 𝓹airing. predebut!sophia laforteza x female reader ౨ৎ 𝓰enre. fluff if u squint, undefined relationship, was it ever casual? no. angst (i tried) like a ton of it but i wasn't trying to drown u, hurt no comfort, wc. 3299 a/n. my exams js finished nd i thought id give yall sumn as compensation for the lack of mamma mia updates LMAO i was trying sumn new w this oneshot—writing style wise—nd im ngl it didn't quite go how i wanted to nd i ended up writing less bc of this experimental oneshot 😭😭😭 anyw, this is a long overdue angst from me i tried my best💔💔💔 i saw smn on tiktok say sophia is the type of person ud have a crush on high school nd that mainly inspired this so thanks random tiktok editor. this is mostly how i imagined champagne coast

❝𝔂oung as i want to know,

𝓲'll never let you go.❞

YOU REMEMBER HER BEST IN SHADES OF GOLD. not the kind that glitters, but the kind that glows. sun-warm. skin-close. the kind of gold that poured through her bedroom blinds every time you snuck in past midnight and stayed for as long as you could before school dawned, heart thudding, breath caught between wanting and wondering.

sophia.

sophia with the smile that felt like a secret sunrise. with soft pink polish barely clinging to her nails and the habit of humming songs she hadn’t written yet. her voice always held a lilt of laughter, like a secret being shared. 

she had a laugh that caught sunlight in its rhythm, and a way of remembering everyone's name like it was the most important one she'd ever heard. she moved through the halls like spring after a long winter—bright, warm, impossible not to notice. her presence made lockers bloom and linoleum shimmer. 

she’d offer a compliment with such genuine ease that it felt like sunlight breaking through clouds. she held eye contact like she was seeing you for the first and last time all at once. sophia, who always smelled like vanilla chapstick and the faintest trace of gardenias after rain. you said her name like a prayer you didn’t believe in but kept whispering anyway. just in case it could save you.

she’s everywhere now. bigger than memory, louder than youth. katseye headlines every festival lineup, and her voice spills from every speaker like honey and summer. but back then, she was just a girl with stardust in her laugh and music in her fingertips. her family’s name opened doors and booked venues, but sophia walked through them like they didn’t matter. she made time slow down. she made you feel like you were being seen through a softer lens.

sophia’s world had always been lyrical. she moved through life like she was humming a song only she could hear. each step light, each smile like a melody lingering in the air long after she’d walked away. 

everything about her felt improvised yet effortlessly right, like the first draft of a poem that didn’t need editing. she spoke in rhythm, thought in metaphor, lived in verses. there was music in her hands, in her laughter, in the way she leaned her head back when she was thinking—as if catching something only the sky could offer.

your world, on the other hand, was cinematic. made of still frames and silences. you didn’t move through life—you watched it. framed things, paused them, looked for symmetry in the ordinary. 

you didn’t always speak, but you noticed everything: the flutter of her lashes when she was about to say something vulnerable, the exact tilt of her smile when she was hiding a bruise of sadness. where sophia saw a lyric, you saw a shot list. where she saw wonder, you saw composition. where she breathed melody, you caught meaning in the silences between.

she narrated the world in chorus; you captured it in light. you were opposites in the way a poem and a film are different ways of saying the same thing. 

and somehow, in those precious months where your lives tangled and bloomed, you translated each other.

you met her in late march. spring still a whisper, flowers barely blooming, the sky bruised with indecision. your film teacher read names off a list, pairing students for the semester film project. you weren’t paying attention until you heard it: "y/n and sophia."

she turned to you with a smile that looked like it belonged to someone in a film already. sharp and soft at the same time. her voice was breezy, casual. "guess we’re partners."

you nodded, blinking, caught in her gravity already.

when you sat together to brainstorm, her notebook was full of lyrics—descriptions of faces in profile, sunflowers, waves crashing over shoulders. 

she wanted to create something that felt like breathing. you wanted to shoot something that felt like dreaming.

so you made a film about nature and people. about how vines wrap around fingers like lovers. how wind braids hair. how skin glows in golden hour like the earth is passing its light into it. sophia became the muse. barefoot in tall grass. spinning in white linen. half-submerged in a creek, laughing. you directed and held the lens like it was a heartbeat.

"you make the world look softer," she said once in awe, watching a playback.

"it only looks like that because you’re in it," you replied. your voice almost cracked from saying it.

she didn’t say anything then. just smiled at the screen, her reflection flickering over her shoulder.

that project was the beginning. the spark. long editing nights that bled into morning. coffee shared from the same chipped mug. the camera always between you—until it wasn’t. until it was just her, and you, and the quiet understanding that bloomed beneath everything left unsaid.

it started, maybe, on the hill.

that nowhere hill behind her high-rise, just past the stillness of manicured parks and closed cafés, where city light softened into starlight. you called it your chapel. the place where time slowed down and everything else disappeared.

every summer night, you’d sneak into her room at twelve-oh-something. her window creaked like it missed you. sophia would be waiting in a hoodie three sizes too big, her braid unraveling like ribbon. sometimes she brought snacks. sometimes she brought a poem. sometimes she brought nothing but herself.

and that was enough.

you’d walk, fingers brushing, shoulders bumping. and when the world was quiet enough, she’d start to sing. something half-formed. breathy. beautiful. you never interrupted. just listened. memorized the shape of her in the dark.

you brought your guitar once. not to impress, not to perform—just to fill the quiet with something that wouldn’t spill over into words. sophia lit up when she saw it, eyes shining like she’d been waiting for this without knowing it.

"you play?" she asked, voice full of something like awe.

"just a little," you said, shy.

she grinned and sat cross-legged in the grass, hoodie sleeves tugged over her hands. "can i sing?"

and so you played. soft, simple chords beneath your fingers like the beat of a heart learning a new rhythm. and sophia—god, sophia—she sang like her voice belonged to the sky. high, clear, breathy in the way that made your lungs forget how to work. you caught her gaze mid-song, and she smiled at you—not the kind she gave to the world, but the one that felt like it was stitched from your name.

you harmonised by instinct, your voice falling in beside hers like it had always belonged there. no one told you how music could feel like holding hands in the dark. no one told you it could be the first time you really felt someone without the need for physical touch.

when the last note faded, you didn’t speak. just sat there, letting the silence gather around you like a blanket, the ghost of melody still hovering between your mouths.

she leaned her head against your shoulder.

"you think stars remember us?" she asked.

"i think we remember them enough to make it count," you replied.

she looked up at you, pupils wide, eyes full of summer and something softer.

"i don’t want to be forgotten," she whispered.

"you won’t," you promised.

because that was the night something began. not loudly, not clearly, but with a strum and a hum and a shared breath beneath stars.

you'd never play that song for anyone else again. not because it was sacred. but because it already belonged to her.

the first time you kissed, you could feel the earth shift beneath you.

her lips were soft, trembling against yours like they were learning how to be still. the air between you was thick, humming with the kind of tension that seemed too big for both of you, yet you moved closer, closer still, until it was only her and the night and the stillness of a world that didn’t seem to matter anymore.

her hands were on your face, fingers delicate as they traced your jaw, as if committing every contour to memory. and then her mouth was on yours again, and this time, the kiss was deep and slow, a kind of sweetness that burned hotter than you ever imagined. you ran your hands up her sides, fingers exploring the soft curve of her waist, mapping it to memory like it was the only thing you’d ever truly need to know.

you could feel the warmth of her skin through the thin fabric of her hoodie, the heat from her body seeping into yours. it spread like wildfire, quick and alive, until every nerve inside you was set alight. you held her so close—so impossibly close—that her breath mingled with yours, her heartbeat a steady thrum in the rhythm of your own.

god, you thought, as you kissed her deeper like she was air and you were addicted, letting yourself succumb and drown in her warmth. i have never felt so close to heaven as i have now with my lips on hers, and holding her so close to me that her warmth spills and spreads over me in waves, lighting every nerve lining of mine on fire.

“i think..." you whispered, your voice shaky with something raw, something tender. "i think i like you."

she smiled at you, the softest, saddest smile you'd ever seen, as if she already knew that what was happening between you was fleeting even before the hushed confession, a fleeting thing that would burn bright and quick before it was gone.

but for now, it didn’t matter.

for now, it was just you and her and the kind of kiss that felt like everything.

and for just a moment, you let yourself believe that everything was enough.

senior year rolled in with deadlines and early applications and the kind of weight that makes your bones feel older than they are. you and sophia partnered up for another media project. a short film. something dreamy, something about the in-between. something that felt like both of you.

one afternoon, everyone else had gone home, and it was just you and her in the empty classroom. she was sitting on the windowsill, the wind playing with the ends of her hair, painting her in soft light. you lifted the camcorder, pressed record. through the viewfinder, she looked unreal. backlit, untouchable. like something borrowed from a dream.

and it struck you again—how sophia's world was lyrical, and yours was cinematic. where she sat in that golden light, she looked like a line of poetry you’d never forget. but through your lens, she was also something else—framed, finite, fading even as you filmed. it hit you with a sharp kind of knowing: this would only ever be a memory. the footage would last, but the moment would not.

"what?" she asked, turning to you.

"nothing," you said, even though everything was happening all at once. because in that moment, with her framed by the sky and the silence, you knew. this wouldn’t last.

some people are moments. not destinations.

and sophia? she was a meteor. blazing. brief.

that footage still lives somewhere on your hard drive. you haven't played it in years. you’re not sure you could survive the sound of her voice saying your name in that soft, sun-drenched tone again.

some days, she was distant—her mind lost in melodies you hadn’t yet heard, her gaze turned inward, like she was looking at something beyond you. other days, she clung to you like gravity, as if the weight of her presence alone could pull you back from drifting too far into your own thoughts. 

you started to learn the language of her moods: the way she tucked her hair behind her ear when she was uncertain, how she bit her lip when she wanted to say something but couldn’t quite find the words, as if speaking them would unravel something fragile that was better left unsaid.

one night, there was nothing but the quiet between you. the hum of distant cars, the weight of the stars above. you could feel her next to you, close but just out of reach in a way that made everything feel too heavy, too raw.

"i wish i could keep this forever," you said, your voice barely more than a breath. the words fell from your lips before you could stop them, the kind of wish you didn’t know you had until it was already there, full and aching.

“this?” she asked, her voice soft, laced with something you couldn’t quite place.

“you. us. this...whatever this is,” you murmured, unable to name it, afraid of the weight of what it could mean if you did.

she didn’t say anything for a moment, just looked at you, the kind of look that made you feel like she could see into the places you didn’t let anyone touch. her smile came slowly, tinged with something tender and sad, as if she already knew what was coming, what was always coming, but wasn’t ready to let go yet. 

"you know some things aren’t meant to go on forever, even if they feel like they could."

you wanted to argue, to tell her that this—whatever this was—felt too big to be just a passing season. but the truth was, you didn’t know what it was. nothing about it was defined, and maybe that made it even more real.

"maybe," you whispered, the ache tightening in your chest. "but even a song gets stuck in your head for years."

and in that moment, with nothing else left to say, you both let the silence stretch between you.

when katseye began to bloom into the world’s consciousness, you watched her from the quiet. from the sidelines. where you had always been. tv interviews filtered through your screen late at night, their light flickering across your bedroom walls like ghosts you couldn’t name. 

there she was—sophia—draped in gowns that shimmered like the sea on moonlit nights, lips painted the soft red of a closing day, laughter threaded with rehearsed charm. people loved her. how could they not?

but you listened closely—not to her words, but to her voice beneath the voice. and god, it still sounded like her. like the girl who once sang barefoot beneath the stars, who curled into your side with wind-tangled hair and asked if heaven could be a person. that voice hadn’t changed. it still held the ache of midnights, the tremble of wishes no one ever said out loud.

but her eyes—her eyes had learned something you hadn’t. they were no longer the windows that once opened only for you, soft and unguarded and impossibly full of wonder. 

now they shimmered with something distant. practiced. eyes that had seen too much, learned how to hold just enough back to be adored but never known. she had become someone the world could look at, but never touch. someone who had learned how to let go.

you didn’t go to the farewell party that night of graduation.

you told people you were busy. that you forgot. but the truth was quieter than that, more fragile. you couldn’t stand the idea of watching her say goodbye to a place she always belonged to, to a chapter she had always meant to leave behind. you couldn’t watch her smile at the crowd and thank them for memories that brushed her skin.

so instead, you went to the hill. the hill that started it all. 

alone.

the one you both used to sneak off to when the world felt too sharp. the one where you’d bring your guitar, and she’d bring her voice, and between the two of you, you created something unnamable. you didn’t bring the guitar this time. there was no need. even the silence was loud with her absence.

you lay on the grass and stared at the sky until the stars blurred, your throat aching with a name you refused to say out loud. but it was there. it always was. in the hush between crickets. in the wind brushing against your cheek like a goodbye you never received. her name lived in the quiet. in the stillness. in the ache.

and maybe that was love.

not the kind that stays, but the kind that marks you anyway.

and sometimes, on the loneliest nights—when the world feels too quiet, and the sky hangs heavy with all the things you never said—you still look up at the stars and wonder if they remember.

two girls. a camera. a song.

you wonder if the stars recall the softness of her voice beside you, how it curled into the night like incense smoke, how your name sounded different when she said it—more alive, more whole. you wonder if they remember how her hand brushed yours in the dark like it meant something, like everything unspoken between you was understood anyway.

one of you rose—like the crescendo of a chorus, like light breaking over a stage. the other stayed—quiet, still, holding onto the echoes.

you don’t talk anymore—an outcome that didn’t come as a surprise—not really. just likes on old photos buried beneath filters and captions that meant more at the time. sometimes a tagged memory surfaces from the past—a birthday, a laugh, a behind-the-scenes shot—and her username feels like a paper cut across your chest. she never shared it, and neither did you. a reminder. a timeline. a pause you never quite recovered from.

every once in a while, champagne coast plays—that damned song you’d both fought over whether to use for the short film or not, that cost hours of editing over something so petty you’d won anyway—. maybe in a café, maybe in the shuffle of a playlist you forgot you made. 

the first few notes are enough. your breath stutters. and suddenly you're seventeen again, filming her by the window of an empty classroom, wind tugging gently at her hair, sunlight turning her into something god might’ve carved by hand.

you still remember the last day of filming. how she laughed at something you said. how you almost kissed her again, but didn’t.

how the golden hour touched her skin like it was saying goodbye too.

that day replays sometimes, in slow motion, like the final scene of a movie that never made it to theaters. you never really wrote an ending. just...stopped filming.

and maybe that’s the cruelest part. that there was no goodbye, no final bow. just the quiet unraveling of something too beautiful to hold.

you think about reaching out. just a text. just a line. this song still sounds like you.

but you don’t.

not because the love is gone—but because some stories are meant to live in the quiet. in glances. in songs. in memories. because letting go doesn’t mean you ever wanted to.

and sophia—sweet, golden, soft at the edges and sharp at the center—was never really yours. but she was real.

and that’s what you carry. not the goodbye. not the could-have-beens. just the memory. just the thought.

the way she looked at you once, when the camera was rolling and she didn’t know it—blissfully unaware she’d changed your life for the better or worse or in between, if that even made sense. the way your name lingered in her voice when no one else was listening.

the stars. the song. the stillness.

her.

and you. forever changed.

not by what lasted—but by what burned bright enough to leave a mark.

even now, you still look up. you find the time to. and sometimes, she’s still there. in the sky. in the silence. in the memory. like light you never forgot how to follow.

masterlist.

— please do not repost, copy, translate, or take from my work in any way without permission. thank you! xx

[22ayla21]

The Care of Strong Hands

His calloused hands, accustomed to harsh training for years, are actually the most caring.

From Author I was looking at Silver's cards and was slightly shocked by how trained his hands were...

Silver, who had known the weight of the sword and relentless training since childhood, understood that a knight's strength was not just strong hands, but also a steadfast spirit. His father taught him that a true warrior should be like an ancient tree: bending in the wind but not breaking.

Years of persistent practice paid off. In his youth, Silver easily wielded a blade, endured grueling training, and with age, his strength only increased. Now he could lift his wife with one hand and his little daughter with the other, as if they were weightless.

There was something natural in this, as if nature itself had destined his hands not only for battles but for something more. They were strong to protect, support, and embrace.

Returning from training, he would see his wife's smile, bright and warm like a spring breeze. She would approach him, and without hesitation, he would scoop her up with one hand, pressing her to his chest. She would laugh, hugging his neck, trusting him completely.

Nearby, his daughter would burst into laughter, a tiny creature with shining eyes, reaching out to him with her little hands, demanding the same affection. Silver would easily lift her, and in this movement there was not a hint of strain, only natural confidence.

His hands held not only a sword, but his entire family.

In the evenings, he would help his wife around the house, wordlessly taking the heavy basket of groceries from her or supporting her waist when she reached for the top shelf. Her grateful glances were more precious to him than any words.

And when night fell, and darkness concealed them from prying eyes, those same hands, accustomed to battle, would touch her with a tenderness that could warm better than any fire.

Everyone knew about the knight's strength. But only a few knew about his true strength, which was to be a support for his loved ones. And among them – only those he held in his hands.

[thirstkanaphan]

Some more thoughts about Youth

(be warned, I've had an edible)

Here's Mingi singing Youth on BIBIM-POP (full ep here)

I love this version of Youth and Mingi has never sounded better. His tone is so good and he brings a mellow flavor to this performance that we don't see when he's on stage. I also love how deep his voice gets at the end.

I also really appreciate having the English translation because the lyrics are really quite insightful.

The line adults use the word youth to say that sadness is happiness / to enjoy the moment makes me suspect that Mingi was told by many adults in his life not to complain about his struggles...that the pain he was experiencing was incorrect and that he was actually really happy, right? You're an idol, aren't you happy? The way certain adults deny the pain young people feel and insist that this is the happiest time in their lives. Mingi asks of his Youth: Did you enjoy these times? Did the happiness outweigh the pain? Bear in mind, Mingi wrote this song when he was 22 and on hiatus. This is 22-year-old Mingi talking to his younger self, not the 25-year-old singing the song.

It's hard to even sleep, yeah

I wonder if the "yeah" isn't meant to be a lyrical punctuation to the line; instead, might we also think of it as a question mark: It's hard to even sleep, yeah? Mingi asks of his Youth, To make dreams a reality, yeah? and Youth responds: I'm too young, it's too hard right now.

We know Mingi's a fan of emo music from the '00s (my teenage years) and his playlists include Fall Out Boy, Simple Plan, The Killers, Green Day, and Linkin Park. This musical influence is more apparent in Tunnel, where he is especially candid and vulnerable in his lyrics, but Youth also frequents the same space. The lyrics are pure emo, even if the sound is smooth r&b.

What did I do wrong? With a drink, can it be shaken off? We don't know the answer and we never will, but this may be the first time I've ever heard reference to drinking in a kpop song. It's such a distressing sequence of lines, and you can't help but think of Mingi's hiatus and the strength it took to come back.

Then you exit that chorus to the sound of Yunho's voice soaring above the instrumental track. On this night, night when even the moon cries / Please find it, somewhere in my heart / Is there a place I can rest? It's such a devastating refrain, and he puts those words in Yunho's mouth.

The wind of my twenties / when I was alone

jeeeeeez what a line. I'm reminded of Seonghwa's letters to atiny ("Before I knew it, the cold that seemed never-ending made me take off my thick coat and all of a sudden, bright flower petals occasionally began to warm up the world. I, who want to resemble that worm season, am now celebrating my 27th spring.") Seonghwa has a poet's spirit but Mingi has such a good grasp of drama. The wind of my twenties / when I was alone is pure emo but it nudges at something deeper and more existential. Mingi is still in his twenties; he'll continue to be in his twenties for a while. The line implies future knowledge of the right-now Mingi. He's still going through it.

Of course I'm going to connect this back to Yungi, because the two got very candid in their conversation for Off The Record. Yunho praises Mingi for his growth and development, but remarks that Mingi has lost some of his innocence. I wish I could see more of that happiness from you, Yunho says.

Mingi's response is so interesting (although I'm sure a native Korean speaker may be able to clarify from the subs): The thing is, it's not really innocence, I think I just adapted...I'm not the type to lean on others, because I only trust in myself.

Yunho's sad and fond face is soul-crushing

Yunho hopes to see more of Mingi's youthful joy and wishes that Mingi could look back, reflect on yourself, and refresh. Maybe it's the edibles talking, but that kind of sentiment sounds familiar. Mingi has had to protect himself from people who've said similar things. Maybe I'm stepping way too far into speculation, but Yunho puts himself in the role of adults who use the word youth [innocence] to say that sadness is happiness, to enjoy the moment. Shouldn't Mingi feel upset?

But then Mingi says I think I felt what kindness and thankfulness is from you about Yunho. Yunho, who took him to lunch and bought him beef in high school; who traveled across town to eat with Mingi and waited for him to finish his meal; Yunho, who experienced the same highs and lows of pre-debut and idol life...

Yunho who called him nearly every day of his hiatus.

Yes, as in all things, Yunho is the exception. In his 8 Face episode, Mingi compares him to a "savior-like entity."

Yunho has been keeping an eye on Mingi since predebut. Here's a letter he wrote for Mingi which Mingi reads aloud during a live:

Look at Yunho, the way the embarrassed smile drops from his face.

Mingi owes Yunho his life, however you interpret that statement, and it means something that Yunho is someone from whom Mingi learned a kindness that got him through the worst of those months. It's for that reason that only Yunho could get away with asking Mingi to enjoy his youth.

From an interview with Jongho published in December 2024:

I don't usually write this much but if you have any thoughts or opinions about Youth, I'd love to hear them!

[bumblesimagines]

The Lions Claws

Request: Yes or No

Summary: When a Lannister visits King's Landing, he ends up finding entertainment in the King's eldest son.

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

CW/TW: Typical HOTD warnings, toxic/manipulative behavior, Lannisters being Lannisters, mentions of bruises, cersei would be proud, aegon might feel a lil ooc

~~~

For a capital meant to represent the Crown, King's Landing was incredibly underwhelming. Even the towering Red Keep sitting atop Aegon's Hill proved lacking with its dull red stone and drum towers casting shadows. He'd expected something akin to Highgarden's serene beauty or the formidable and untouchable Storm's End but the Red Keep was dreary at best. The air felt thick and suffocating as if it were eager to be rid of guests with clouds loomed overhead in varying shades of grey, leaving one wondering if there'd be a drizzle or downpour awaiting them the moment they stepped outside.

"A smile wouldn't kill you," Erwin muttered across from him, yet the grimace on his face spoke for his own thoughts. Homesick was one word to describe the heaviness in their chests. "Your mother wouldn't be pleased if she heard you left a sour impression on Her Majesty and the Hand." 

"Oh, please." (Y/N) spared his cousin a glance before his eyes returned to peering up at the Red Keep from the window of the carriage. Chilling air flowed inside, opposite of the warm breezes that so often clung to the westerlands he knew well. "All she cares to know is if Tyland's made a fool of himself yet, the poor idiot. She may not say it but I know she fears the dragons will eat him alive." 

"I haven't heard of dragons eating lions yet." Erwin's lips quirked up into a grin, showing off his pearly white smile that always made impressionable young ladies swoon. 

Once the carriage came to a stop, Erwin's smile disappeared and he straightened up, casting him one last look before the door was opened. He stepped out first, his bronze hair briefly glittering when the sun managed to peek out from behind a drifting cloud as his eyes swiftly swept over the courtiers and servants around. (Y/N) released a soft sigh and followed him out into the chilly air, the bottom of his feet hitting the gravel beneath and moving around the small grains. 

The Red Keep was equally as boring up close as it was from afar. In its prime, back when Aegon the Conqueror was still around, it may have been a sight for sore eyes; something that truly struck both awe and fear into the hearts of his enemies. But now, with the tightened hold of the Hightowers, it was bleak. Perhaps its beauty drained with the King's ailing health, forever entwined with the bloodline that'd built it. Perhaps historians and poets were simply sucking up to their rulers. 

His eyes naturally glided downward to the pop of color sticking out against the stone. Her Majesty, Queen Alicent Hightower, stood before the grand doors with her children. She was pretty, shockingly youthful, and dressed in a color that clashed with the house she'd married into but was every bit of Hightower. Floor-length, off-the-shoulder, and in a nice shade of green that reminded him of forest leaves during the peak of spring. It allowed for her ivory skin and auburn hair to stick out more. Yet, despite her striking beauty, she was not all he expected. The Hightowers were known for plenty of things, but the woman before him appeared as frail as a withered flower. 

"Thirdborn son of Lady and Lord Lannister, Your Majesty, Your Graces." Erwin's words sounded robotic and slightly practiced, the little armor he wore clinking together when he bent at the waist. Poised, proper, and with a hint of authority, Erwin had always been what every knight dreamed of becoming. "(Y/N) Lannister of Casterly Rock."

And so the charade began.

Allowing a smile to grace his features, (Y/N) stepped forward and dipped his head in respect before lifting it to look her in the eye. She stared back at him, the exhaustion in her eyes subtle yet he noticed it immediately. She had many duties now with her husband bedridden. How would she fare, he wondered, when he passed. "Your Majesty, it is an honor to make your acquaintance." He recited the words his mother had ingrained in his head, the memory so clear he could practically see her glowering at him. "I hope my older brother has done House Lannister justice during his time here."

"Ser Tyland has done us a great service as our master of ships." Queen Alicent smiled politely, though the underlying tone in her voice spoke plainly: he was essentially useless without the need for a naval fleet, though most masters of ships were. He imagined Tyland offered bits and pieces of advice now and again during meetings. He'd always been a little wiser than Jason. "I pray the trip here from Casterly Rock wasn't weariful. Your apartments have been arranged already if you wish to rest."

"You are most generous, Your Majesty." It was the bare minimum of a host but good manners and thankful words often went a long way, especially with prideful nobles. However, Queen Alicent hardly seemed keen on compliments, or his presence, for that matter.

"I'm afraid I have pressing matters to attend to but I'm certain the Princes Aegon and Aemond will be pleased to refresh your memory of the castle." Queen Alicent tilted her head toward the three Targaryens lined up beside her, her smile notably falling when she eyed the eldest of the bunch before it returned just as quickly to bid them farewell. Four pairs of violet eyes tracked her movements, one pair with a little more longing than the other.

The eldest, Prince Aegon, stood a little shorter than his lanky brother and he lacked the rigid posture and poise of a young man of his station; his shoulders were lowered and his knees bent slightly, though, from the lazy smirk on his face, it was all purposeful. An attempt to irritate his mother, (Y/N) assumed given the swift exchange between them. Prince Aegon was a curious fellow, (Y/N) decided then and there.

His hair was wavy like his mother's but unkept and messy, matching his disheveled clothes that'd turn any parent red with embarrassment. Pale violet eyes watched him, glinting with hunger, but for violence or affection, (Y/N) hadn't deduced yet. Prince Aegon wanted others to fear him, to feel intimidated by his title, judging by the way his eyes narrowed challengingly. He reminded (Y/N) of the juvenile lions back home, the teenagers torn between proving themselves or running back to their mother's side.

Prince Aemond, on the other hand, was every bit of a royal son. His back remained erect and his shoulders were squared, the height he had over his siblings allowing him to appear as if he were towering over them. His hair was straight and reached past his shoulders, seemingly brushed regularly unlike Prince Aegon's. His singular eye had unease settling in the pit of (Y/N)'s stomach, piercing and scrutinizing as if searching for a flaw or weakness to pounce upon. Gossip and news spread like wildfire across Westeros, so when the King's son lost an eye to his own nephew during a scuffle, the news reached Casterly Rock within a few days. It hardly surprised him Prince Aemond seemed guarded.

Beside Prince Aemond stood Queen Alicent's only daughter and perhaps the most beloved amongst the smallfolk, Princess Helaena. She pointedly stared at the cobbled floor beneath her feet, her lips pressed into a thin line as she shifted her weight from foot to foot with a slight sway. (Y/N) knew her to be of a gentler, almost odd disposition, but her tender-heartedness won over the smallfolk more than her elder sister ever had. She seemed to be a mix of her two brothers with her hair not quite wavy yet not quite straight and her almost slouching stance. A light pink had dusted her round cheeks from the cold and her nose crinkled ever so slightly with each breeze.

Princess Helaena seemed too gentle of a girl to bother and (Y/N) had an inkling Prince Aemond's patience ran thin, which only left the would-be heir as (Y/N)'s form of entertainment for the duration of his stay. His gaze glided over to the prince in question, the corners of his lips threatening to twitch up into a smile. There was nothing more he loved than a lordling (or in this case, a princeling) to toy with. Lannisters were known for playing with their food.

"Your Grace," (Y/N) moved up the steps swiftly, amused at the way Prince Aegon's brows raised and his lips turned downward with a perplexed frown. His hands reached out to smooth his palms over the sleeves of Prince Aegon's coat, his ears picking up the faint sigh from his cousin behind him. Prince Aegon visibly flinched at his touch. "I recall we once played together as children. I hope we can catch up in due time; you must have many stories to tell of your childhood here. You can tell me of the dragons housed in the Dragonpit, and if it interests you, I can tell you of the lions we keep in Casterly Rock." 

Prince Aegon blinked, his adams apple bobbing with a harsh swallow. "I-"

"I look forward to it, Your Grace, but I am dreadfully tired." The facade already began to crack. The prince seemed utterly baffled by his sudden attention. His fingers fidgeted at his sides and his posture straightened with uncertainty. "I hope to see you at supper."

With each passing day, it felt as if the Red Keep were trying to suffocate him with boredom. The other courtiers were as predictable as expected, flocking to him with an eagerness to be favored by a Lannister whilst simultaneously hoping to hear anything they could whisper about in the halls. Gossip wasn't new to him; he loved indulging in it back home, often while sprawled out over a couch with his giggling gaggle of friends. But the Red Keep... he simply despised it.

At the very least, the chaos of the Targaryen family kept him from smashing his head into the nearest wall.

Perched on a stone railing overlooking the training yard, (Y/N) watched the lordlings and pages train under the supervision of Ser Criston Cole and other on-looking knights who had little to do. His eyes tracked Prince Aemond's stride, his chin cocked upward and smile challenging, but the only one daring enough to step forward. (Y/N) hadn't cared to figure out whether his confidence was merely a charade to mask the wounds of a child once tormented by his peers or as real as the greed in everyone around them. 

He'd concluded the royal children were like bruises, purple and green with hints of yellow, fresh and tender. If he lingered on one for long enough, pressed and prodded with enough force, their pain would be revealed for his eyes to observe. Prince Aemond hid himself well enough through cold stares and calculated words, but the days that'd passed had allowed (Y/N) to view the little boy beneath the young man. Whenever he passed the ladies of the court, he'd adjust his eyepatch and turn his gaze away from them to subtly hide his face from sight. If Prince Aegon bored him, he considered Prince Aemond as his next plaything. 

The only one emboldened enough to step out to face the tall prince had been none other than his older brother, though, by the way he staggered and cackled as if everything were one big joke, it could only be assumed he'd had one too many drinks. Prince Aegon's blatant disregard for their training had his brother rolling his eyes, his chest rising and falling with a heavy exhale. His antics were common enough for Ser Criston to stare at him with hardly disguised disappointment, his hands resting on his hips like a father ready to scold his troublesome child. 

"If only he were a jester and not a prince." (Y/N) murmured with a quiet sigh. He could bargain for a jester, offer a trade to Her Majesty and the Hand so there'd be no losing side but princes were like the gold in the mines of the westerlands. They had to be shaped and formed, just as any other person, but they had to feel as if everything they did was of their own accord. 

A sweet Dornish red swirled around in his mouth, his attention locked on the stumbling prince that by all means should've been heir had it not been for his father's stubbornness. Prince Aegon moved awkwardly in the chest plate and the sword swung clumsily in his hands yet his laughter continued bouncing off the walls. It was childish and carefree, unlike his brother's scowl which deepened by the minute. Prince Aemond spared Ser Criston a glance and then charged at his brother, his movements akin to a fluid dance as swords clashed. Prince Aegon struggled to keep up, too inebriated to focus clearly, thus leading to his loss. 

Swiftly, Prince Aemond ended the brief spar by slamming the hilt of his sword into his brother's face, legs leading him backward as Prince Aegon fell onto the gravel with a pained cry. Ser Criston sprang into action, shooting the younger prince a disapproving look over his shoulder before he reached out toward Prince Aegon, his words lost to the wind. The knights closest to them moved to help Prince Aegon onto his feet but once the prince found his footing, he shrugged away their hands and sneered at them. His cheeks, once pink from the many drinks, turned into a deeper shade of red that spread to his ears. Humiliated, though certainly not for the first time. 

(Y/N) swung his legs over the railing and slid off it, kicking up hints of dust when he touched the ground. He savored the last few droplets of his wine and set the cup aside with a satisfied sigh. His legs carried him into the hallway and down a set of stairs, his mind still unfamiliar with the castle but he'd memorized the places he wished to visit the most. One being Prince Aegon's bedchambers, which he shared with his sister-wife and down the hall from the shared room of their little children. He lingered by the railings overlooking the inner courtyard until Prince Aegon appeared, his figures disappearing into his bedchambers with a tentative young maester trailing after him. 

The guards positioned outside the door allowed him in without so much as a glance, a monotone voice gruffly calling out his name before the doors rattled shut. (Y/N) scanned the bedchambers but found nothing of interest apart from shrouds and other fabrics with embroidered insects and the maid cleaning a wine stain off the floor, so he settled his attention onto the silently fuming prince and the maester attempting to work around his pout. 

"What is it?" Prince Aegon questioned, wincing by the end of his sentence which only fueled his anger. 

"I saw what happened, Your Grace." (Y/N) spoke gently, crossing the distance without much of a hurry and eyeing the blossoming bruise spreading across his cheek. The hit had cracked open the corner of his lip, leaving it raw and speckled with blood the maester attempted to clean. (Y/N) allowed his hand to brush over Prince Aegon's shoulder in a comforting manner, his other hand dismissing the maester with a flick of his wrist. "I wished to see if you were alright." 

"Obviously I'm not." Aegon spat, bristling like a cub and pouring himself a cup of wine to swallow down with a cringe. His cut and cheek no doubt ached from his actions, and (Y/N) withheld the urge to snort. Foolish and impulsive, acting on his emotions without thinking twice about the outcomes. A funny little princeling.

"Bring us some sweets." (Y/N) angled his head toward the maid, her scrubbing absentminded enough to tell him she'd been hoping to eavesdrop on the conversation between two noblemen. She raised her head at him, a red curl slipping free from her loosely thrown-together bun and tapping lightly against her cheek. She stared at him for a minute too long, likely irked by a stranger giving her orders, but she stood up regardless with the stained rag in hand. "Thank you, darling." She paused, her irritation soothing over and her head dipped bashfully.

(Y/N) settled down on the chair beside the prince and picked up the napkin the maester had been using, folding it over his index finger and dabbing lightly at Prince Aegon's lip. His brows, a darker shade than his snowy locks, furrowed again and his lips twitched, threatening to pull into a frown that'd certainly sting. 

"Are all westermen as strange as you?"

"Strange is one word for it, I suppose. Most people use 'kind' or 'empathetic', Your Grace." (Y/N) leaned back into the cushion of his seat, withdrawing his hand and setting the napkin aside. His violet hues flickered elsewhere with a hint of guilt and annoyance at his words, his fingers releasing the cup to rest over his thighs in fists. 

"Aegon," He said quietly, uncertainty lacing his words. "Call me Aegon."

"Aegon," (Y/N) echoed with a coo, studying the young man before him with hawk eyes. He searched his body, his facial features, for movements and emotions, for any fidgeting or ticks that'd reveal things his voice refused to. "It must be hard having the name of an ancestor as great as Aegon the Conquerer. You must feel pressured."

Aegon scoffed, and just like that, he revealed his pain. It'd been clear for (Y/N) to see since the first day he arrived, but the assumption slowly developed over the passing days; Queen Alicent's weariness at the mere mention of him, the heavy exhales from the Hand, the distaste that crossed the features of those who knew him well when he passed them in the halls. He'd likely been under some pressure as a boy, but he'd fucked up enough times to be properly labeled a disappointment, a bother. He knew it, too. He carried it on his shoulders, masking it by attempting to appear unbothered and lazy. 

(Y/N) made no comment on it. Instead, he offered him a smile and caught the footsteps approaching the door. "You're a pretty prince, Aegon. Has anyone ever told you that?" The answer came in the form of two widened eyes staring at him as if he'd grown two heads. It was true, if one squinted past the excessive drinking and snarky words. He had his mother's beauty and the mystique of Targaryens.

The maid shuffled inside with a tray and approached the small round table they sat at, giving them the faintest of smiles as she gingerly set the tray down and began placing plates of sweets on the table. She'd even brought two teacups and a kettle, the faint smell of chamomile tea filling the air when she poured it into the two cups. "That'll be all." (Y/N) said, ensuring his fingers grazed against the back of her hand when she set the teacup in front of him. Her freckled cheeks flushed and she gathered the now empty tray into her hands, sneaking glances over her shoulder as she left. 

"I hope you ate before you indulged." (Y/N) ignored the small silver fork resting beside a slice of cake and broke off a piece with his pinched fingers, sticky and clinging to his fingertips. He debated his next movements, considering the possible outcomes and reactions before his unquenchable curiosity won. 

Smiling once more, (Y/N) stuck his arm out toward Aegon and held the piece of cake up to his lips. Aegon blinked, eyes flickering wildly between him and his fingers, his brows slowly furrowing. Aegon, too, debated his next movements, his hands unfurling to press his palms into his thighs and adams apple bobbing with a swallow. 

When (Y/N) had been a boy, he inquired one of the lion-keepers about how they went about taming beasts. The wrinkled old man had chuckled at his questions, his hand lowering to affectionately pat the top of his head. He'd told him, plainly, that certain beasts could never be tamed, beasts like lions or dragons. But, he'd added with a grin, beasts like humans certainly could. At his young age, (Y/N) found his words to be a riddle he couldn't be bothered to decipher, and so he'd forgotten the question in favor of watching the caged felines.

He learned with age that his words rang true.

To tame any beast, two-legged or not, you had to have a certain amount of patience and keen eyes. A level of trust had to be built, whether through food, water, shelter, or gentle words, that would ease them into being comfortable around your presence. You had to push, and really push, against the boundaries of the beast, threatening to cross the unspoken line until they reacted, favorably or not. Beasts were complicated creatures but the same across all species. And so the princeling before him made up his mind about the crossed boundary.

Tentatively, Aegon closed the space and opened his mouth, his eyes flickering with something familiar, a teasing hunger. His lips closed around his finger, that challenging spark returning and mixing feverishly with the hunger. The tip of his tongue slid along (Y/N)'s finger, collecting crumbs and sticky residue. Honey, he assumed, tugging his finger back with a pop that had the corners of Aegon's mouth lifting. He winced again and unconsciously licked the cut.

"What will your mother say of what happened?" He asked, knowing it'd sour Aegon's mood immediately to bring up the subject of Queen Alicent, but he kept him from shutting down by entertaining him. The same saliva-coated finger broke off another piece of the sweet treat, this time rising to his own mouth. He mimicked Aegon's previous actions, watched the delight and intrigue that briefly sparked across his face. Predictable but still entertaining. 

"Nothing," He answered, eyes locked on (Y/N)'s lips and ears twitching with the pop that followed. Aegon slumped back into the chair and dragged his fingers over the bruise, his brows twitching involuntarily when he pressed on it. His shoulders drooped with a heavy, ticked-off sigh, and he reached for one of the tea cups. He brought it to his lips and then hesitated, inhaling the steam and deciding against drinking it. 

A hum rumbled in the back of his throat, a tickle in the back of his head eager to test the young man across from him. "Well, I should leave you to rest." He said, curling his hand around a napkin to dry his finger before he stood up. 

"Wait!" Aegon blurted out, his chair scraping against the stone floor when he shot up from it, the force nearly making him barrel right into (Y/N)'s chest. Amusement curled around him but he held back the grin to tilt his head at him curiously. Those deprived of attention often sought it out in any way possible, so (Y/N) hardly found himself surprised when Aegon's hand curled around his wrist firmly. "You- You wished to know about the Dragonpit, right?" His tone reeked of desperation. 

"That can wait, Your Grace. You've had a rough evening." (Y/N) spoke soothingly, fingertips brushing along Aegon's jaw. They crept upward toward his uninjured cheek, digging into his porcelain skin. He wondered how hard Aegon would break if he pressed hard enough, if he formed cracks or let him shatter. He watched the pale skin redden under his touch, a color that faded slowly. 

"I-"

"It's alright, Aegon." (Y/N) assured him, soaking up the hopelessness in his eyes. He leaned forward and ghosted his lips along the bridge of his nose before planting a kiss on the skin between his eyebrows. Aegon practically melted beneath his touch. Such easy prey. "We have plenty of time to catch up."

[papathe5th]

What if you have a bad breakup with your ex, but then you run into Perpetua later that week? Of course you’re attracted to him. He feels the same.

Ghestie, I kept it neutral because you didn’t specify the reader’s gender. I also took the liberty to insert my head canons about Perpetua because we still have no idea where he’s been in the last fifty-ish years. I hope you’ll enjoy reading them anyways.

A MAN OF FAITH IS HARD TO FIND

.* .* 🌓* . *. .* .* 🦇 * . *•* .* 🦇 * . *. .* .* 🌗* . *.

Pairing: Papa V Perpetua x GN!Reader

Words: 2000

Rating: E (explicit)

.* .* 🌓* . *. .* .* 🦇 * . *•* .* 🦇 * . *. .* .* 🌗* . *.

You’ve been planning this date night for weeks. It was your last effort to reignite the flame that you jumped into when you met him. That was before you saw that he wasn’t burning for you anymore and he had someone else’s name on his tongue when you kissed him. The flame was snuffed out a long time ago.

You weren’t about to waste Saturday night, so you took yourself out on a date. Nothing like thrashing to some rock music and making every muscle in your body ache to forget about your heart being in pain.

Your favorite local band was playing in the dive bar you frequented with your ex-lover. But you had been drinking at that bar and listening to that band before him and you were determined to do it after him. 

While you didn’t plan to make new memories with another lover, or make bad decisions with a stranger, you were drawn in by him.

He was also there alone, nursing a bottle of cheap and warm beer in one hand and his gloved fingers tapping away on his long, leather-clad leg to the rhythm of the bass. And, while you couldn’t see his face much in the dark, his pale skin reflected what little light shone on it and his black sunglasses hid his eyes, though you felt them like a hot touch. Like a flame. Like a fire you wanted to be burnt by.

You made your way to the bar through the crowd, the sea stretching up to the moon in waves. The man got off his stool and offered it to you, bowing his head a little bit. A smirk on his face like a shadow came and passed just as quick. 

“What will it be tonight?” He leaned in and the words licked the shell of your ear. 

“What?” You spoke up so that he may hear you over the speakers and the screeching guitar. 

“Water? Beer? Something more spirited?”

“Oh,” you shook off the chill he sent down your spine. “I always have beer.” 

The bartender knew that because he knew you. He brought you your favorite bottle as soon as you sat down. 

“I suppose I needn’t ask if you come here often.” Your relatively tall, dark, and presumably handsome stranger leaned against the bar again from where he stood on his feet and in front of you. He had an accent that you couldn’t place. Probably because he wasn’t from this plane of existence. He might’ve fallen from Heaven for all you knew. And all you knew was that you wanted to be enveloped by him. Like a flame. 

“I should be asking you that question, stranger,” you caught yourself smiling.

No. No. You had been burnt only days ago. But, oh, you missed the warmth of it all. 

And he was so hot, too. You noticed the shadows around his smirk were smile lines and you even spotted the crow’s feet toeing the line of his shades. There were lines in the white skin between his dark brows that come from years squinting at the sun. There were years between the two of you, yet his voice was smooth and warm like spring honey.  

“I’ve heard of this band, but it’s my first time listening to them.” The man freed you of his steaming, suffocating attention and looked back at the stage. “They are popular with the youth, yes?”

“The youth?” You laughed a little too loudly, but it brought the smirk back to his face. “Yes, they are the biggest band we have, but that’s not saying much. But they’re real, you know? They’re local! They’re ours! I want them to stay ours.”

“I remember being precious about my music. I didn’t want to share it with the world, but the world can give you back everything you feared it would take from you,” he whispered in your ear again, pouring that honey out of his mouth and between your legs.. 

You savoured it for a second, then a thought slipped off your tongue. “Were you in a band? You know, as a youth?”

“I was, actually.” He cocked his head, looking at you sideways, the lines between his brows deepening. But so did the shadows at the ends of his lips. 

“Was it a metal band?” 

His mouth closed in on your cheek after it swerved your ear. He brushed it with his breath. “Death metal.”

Your mouth met his as you moved, drawn to the heat of it like a lost little moth. 

“I played guitar. I played bass. The keyboard.” He breathed in your air to speak the following words. “I was good with my fingers, you know?” His hand was on your thigh, and his leather gloves climbed high.

You gasped and got your breath back. And you took a sip of beer to help it go down faster. You didn’t reclaim your body from his grasp, his glove cold as it reached the small slip of exposed skin of your back where your shirt was riding up.

“Mi scusi,” he raised his voice so that it could reach your ear. “Am I going too fast?”

“Yes,” was your first answer. “No. I mean, maybe?” You didn’t have a conclusive answer. At least, not one that you could vocalize. But, when his hand tried to retreat, you pulled it back and set it on your hip. Then, as he snaked his other hand on your other thigh, you leaned into him, buried your nose in his dark curls, pressed your cheek into his sideburns and your lips on his ear. “Are you still good with your fingers?”

This was it. This was you jumping into the flames just to reignite your passion for life. And your tall, dark and handsome stranger was burning for you. You felt it in the heat of his mouth as he moved his head to meet your own. 

“Follow me and I’ll give you whatever you want.”

You had to cling to his arm to even step off the stool, to walk through the crowd and out of the bar. Your ears were ringing, but it was not because of the bass. It was thanks to your drumming heart.

He opened the door of a luxury looking car he led you to and asked if you’d like something to eat once he made it to the driver’s seat. You answered by straddling his hips before he could buckle in.

“Eager little thing, aren’t you?” His smirk was wider than before, his white teeth all seemingly glowing in the low light of the streetlights streaming through the windshield. “You won’t even let me wine and dine you first.” His hands were back on you again, and you loved the burn of them on your hips.  

“You can buy me overpriced alcohol and warm food after,” you settled your breathing as you settled your crotch atop his. You were straining, and he was swelling. 

“After I show you that I haven’t lost my touch,” he licked his teeth before his mouth disappeared into your drenched collar.

He tasted the sweat streaming there, his tongue teasing you as it dragged up the length of your neck and he latched onto the love of your ear with his lips. 

You threw your head back, surrendering to the sensation and knocking his shades off his nose. And, because your eyes were closed, you didn’t see why he stopped suckling in your skin. 

When you finally lifted your heavy eyelids, your eyes were rolling back in time with your hips. One of his hands came between your bodies, the leather glove a cool reprise from the fire in your belly. It slipped into your jeans and popped the button, dragged down the zipper and set your sex free for only a second before the palm of his leather-clad hand claimed it. 

“Yes,” you repeated. It was a chorus you sag while he proved to you how proficient of a musician he was. 

And he played you like a fiddle.

“You’re gonna come for me, baby,” he took mercy on you and guided the gyration of your hips above his hand, into his digits and against that slippery, wet leather. “I’m not asking. I’m telling you.” He groaned into your ear, the grind of his teeth audible. He was holding himself back, waiting for you to crack. 

Whining because you had no more words, you blindly sought his mouth. It was on your chin, nibbling the skin. When you pulled it from his teeth, he grabbed it with his other hand, unwilling to free it. It was then that you saw that his teeth weren’t the only glint on his face. His pale white eye burned through you and into the back of your mind. 

“Come for me, baby,” he bore his eye and his finger into you and you saw stars. 

Like a supernova, you fell from the skies and landed back into his lap. He caught you, cradling your sweaty, sticky and shaking body. He cooed you, one hand in your hair to soothe you and the other against your lips so that he could feed you your own come. 

“No?” Even he sounded winded, like all he could breathe in was you. And it still wasn’t enough because he stuck his fingers into his mouth. “Mmm. Mmmore for me then.”

He lowered the chair so that you two could lounge in the car and he cracked the window to let the crisp night air in. It prickled your skin underneath your wet clothes, but it also perked you up. The thought he buried into the back of your mind resurfaced when he turned on the radio.

((You’re listening to Missilia Amori, the hot as hell new single by Ghost from their latest Satanic psalm Skeleta.))

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” you raised your head and almost hit it on the roof of your car. “You’re…”

“You caught me,” he gave you a lazy smile and a slow blink. 

His iconic white eye shone as bright as it did in the billboard lights. And the voice that guided your orgasm tonight has been indoctrinating millions for months. He was doing it via radio as you searched his bare face sans the stage make-up you’ve been seeing on posters all around town. 

“You’re…You…You’re Ghost!” 

“Hey,” he purses his lips, twisting his mouth into an exaggerated expression. “That’s Mr. Ghost to you.” 

He must’ve sensed the seriousness of your statement, because he sure couldn’t see it in the low light. Or maybe he could see in the dark. He didn’t mention it, but he did return to soothing you, his hand on your hair and your ear to his chest. 

You listened to his heart and his story.

He is the frontman of Ghost, the sixth in a decades old line of lead singers. It was a family enterprise. He recorded the track which the disc jockey was spinning on the radio station you were tuning into. And he didn’t lie about playing all those other instruments. He used to play bars and clubs as a youth. He used to write all his songs, too.

As the face of an internationally recognized metal band, he wore a mask. Tonight, he wanted to feel young again, to relive his death mental band days when nobody gave a shit about who he was or whose blood he shared. He wanted to be anonymous. A stranger.

“You’re not that old,” you rested your chin on his chest, so that you could look at him again. His eyes had pulled you in behind the shades and they were impossible to look away from now that they were on you.

“Oh,” he smiled wide and it reached his eyes this time. The lines around his mouth and the crow feet returned to remind you that he was that old. “I haven’t lost my touch then.”

Yes, he still had it. He still made music with those hands of his.

“Now, what would you like for dinner, baby?”

[desertdollranch]

It's a breezy spring day in Philadelphia. Addy has arrived in the cozy library at the ICY, where she is studying to become a teacher. She's bundled up in her warm coat, mittens and knee warmers, and carries her books in a patchwork bag.

Under her coat, she's wearing the newest addition to her wardrobe. I made this green striped dress based on the cover of her mystery novel, Shadows on Society Hill.

I really enjoy adding new clothes to my historical characters' collections, and so when I found this particular fabric, I decided to take a shot at sewing one for my Addy. The book cover is the only place it appears.

The book (one of my very favorites out of all the historical character mysteries) takes place in late 1866, almost a year after the events of Changes for Addy. In the story, 11-year-old Addy's generous spirit and bravery give her entire family a chance for a better life. But when she finds out something she wasn't supposed to know, everything is thrown into turmoil.

In the book, she's already attending the Institute for Colored Youth, so I imagine she needed something very grown-up and elegant to wear to classes.

She's also wearing a few other bits of winter gear that represent pieces from her retired collection.

Remember this? Such an iconic look.

My Addy's coat and mittens were made by the person I bought Addy from. They're sturdy enough that I haven't felt the need to make my own replacements. I made her patchwork bag, based on the one from her revamped BeForever accessories. I also made her some knee warmers, like she's wearing in the above picture.

They don't match the mittens like the original ones did, but these are made from a wool scarf and so are very warm and comfy.

And of course, I had to top off her look with a black velvet Derby hat!

This is a beautiful and well-fitting reproduction of the original, at a fraction of the cost that secondhand sellers are asking. Here's the link to get your own.

[maladaptivewritings]

Wicked woman

pt 2

Summary: Soap comes home, seeing that his little sister's best friend is staying during their spring break.

TW: General C.O.D activities, catholics

Y/N: early-mid twenties, college student,

word count: 600

The harbour town was unseasonably warm as John got out of the cab. Eyes tired from the journey from Hereford took nearly nine hours on public transit. It was worth it for him, his older brothers would be in town along with his little sister for her spring holiday. He knocked on the door, arms sore.

His mother stands there in the doorway, she greets him as if she assumed he had died. Her hair is the colour of coal with ashened strands weaving throughout her curls.

"Oh, Saint Michael Thank you." She mumbled as she hugs her boy, treating him like he still waist-height.

"Ma, ya' do this evry' time." His smile grows as he soothes the woman, two older men join them. They are nearly identical if not for the fact the older two were less muscular. Joseph, who was the eldest of the three boys stared at Johnny. A mischievous grin as he speaks.

"Augh, Already tormentin' ma, eh. " The crooked smiled grew as his copy continued.

"Of course he is', the boy loves to make 'an entrance." James answered, his black hair long as he leaned on the doorframe.

The older woman waved them off, as she ushered Johnny inside. Her words soft as she can as he is filled in on the town's gossip he had missed. How his sister is dealing with Uni, something he would’ve never attempted. How Joseph is talking to the Grant's eldest girl and thinking about popping the question and how James is dealing with married life. Things he wish he had more time for, as he drops his bags off in his old room. His mother had finally changed it from the way he left it before joining the military. The old art that was plastered on the wall now stored and hidden away, his old football themed sheets replaced with a deep naval blue. A cruel irony as he hears an unfamiliar voice.

His sister Theresa laughed in the other room, bleach blonde hair pulled back as she helps someone fold clothes. Her room exactly how he remembered, sickly pink as he tapped on the wall to catch her attention.

"Johnny! Ya' made it." Her voice filled the air as she hugged her brother. He on the other-hand caught onto the fact that she was not alone in this room.

"Ya, who are 'ya hidin' in 'ere" He disguised his anxious tone as a joke, searching for this hidden figure.

"Ohh, Y/N, she's my roommate." The blonde laughs motioning to the closet. "Family drama, so she's stopping 'ere during holiday." Theresa explained further.

Johnny watched this stranger rummage about the room, packing clothes away. Y/N turned, shocked by this random person in the room.

"Christ man," You yelped, the McTavishes both rushing to hush you. Fear of their mother bonding them both as Johnny nearly launches himself at you. Before you realized what was going on, he had you. Hand over mouth, arm behind your back; A true military man, as you hear Mrs. McTavish yell.

"Who said it!" Her formerly meek and sweet voice now rattling the home. You sat in Johnny's hold, unsure on what to do.

"No one Ma, Johnny's telling me 'bout the Christman's" Theresa yells back. The routine is so fluid, you could tell either this was frequent or practiced. Johnny released his hold, your ears hot trying to ignore what occured before...

"Y/N, My ma is crazy catholic," Theresa gaze could wound you as she continued."Ya need to be careful girl."

Johnny just nods, his presence says enough. He watches you as Theresa begins telling stories about things from their youth. He sneaks a few looks at you before disappearing into his room. His brothers sit on the bed. They know better, fill him on what actually matters.

Johnny was in for it, this break back home was going to be far from rest and relaxation

[my-my-my]

Headcanons about Aizen's backstory? What do you think he was like as a kid? (or pre-canon in general)

Love the content! Feeds my hungry soul! Thank you so much!

Thank you for your kind words!

I'm not sure I have anything interesting to add in this regard, nonetheless, here they are! It got quite long so it's behind the read more.

CW: none, just meta

I HC him to have grown up in a mercantile household - it would have given him firsthand experiences with the Nobles of Sereitei, (and possibly his disdain for them). It would also be why he was familiar with celebrating birthdays (unlike Toshiro and Momo who were raised in Rukongai District 1).

I think he came from a relatively warm/loving family (as warm and loving one can be in a society such as the Sereitei). Mainly because Aizen inherently knows what traits are considered good and what traits are needed to be perceived as kind and trusting. It may have been something he grew up knowing/experiencing for himself.

At the same time, I also think he was orphaned young. It may be why he knew of Urahara so early on. Maybe they both were (temporarily) raised under the same orphanage (if that part of Sereitei house orphans). The Shihouin clan "adopted" Urahara, and Aizen might have been left behind/adopted by an unassuming family.

I also can see Aizen realizing/learning early on to blend in with the crowd/not stick out. Similar to the quote "the nail that sticks out gets hammered."

If Urahara learned and tried replicating the Royal Guard's hot springs, who's to say Aizen didn't glean anything for himself as a youth? He may have learned about the Maggot's Nest and knew better to show his true power at such a young age.

During his time as a student in the Academy, I can see Aizen developing his unassuming persona. He might be deliberately holding himself back in classes, maybe getting above-average marks, while locking himself in the library. He doesn't want to stand out too much, but enough to be considered as a top choice for Squad assignments.

I read a post on Reddit where they point out how the children of the noble families don't go through the Academy, and I think this adds another point to Aizen's disdain to how Soul Society works. It's a preference-based system and not a merit-based system - those with connections will be placed in higher-seated positions (if they choose to pursue a career in the Gotei 13).

Once Aizen graduates from the Academy, I envision him being placed in Squad 13 as a seated member - it's where he really learns what a "good captain" is like thanks to Ukitake.

During this time is where he begins his hollow experimentation under the guise of patrolling and other duties a lower-seated officer may be asked to do.

I also headcanon that Shinji was a higher ranking seated member in Squad 13 (possible 3rd?). This may have been where Shinji met Aizen and became wary of him. When the 5th division opened up for captaincy and Shinji was promoted, this is when he offered the Lieutenant position to Aizen... and now we have TBTP.

And in the words of Maechen (if you've played FFX):

Thanks for your request and for reading!