#something something gay love can pierce the veil of death and save the day

[emathevampire]

A Reconsecration in Blood and Twilight

Happy Pride to everyone, but especially to my beloved prince in horns Askalaphos and his blackguard, Solar, an NPC from our Ravenloft campaign.

Once a devout paladin of the Morning Lord, then of Mother Night after his death, corrupt rebirth, and subsequent fall from grace as he pursued power no matter the cost in the pursuit of vengeance against Strahd... the aasimar blackguard Solar now learns what it is to be true to his own heart as the newest disciple of Askalaphos, a fallen demigod son of Ares and former slave to the Abyss slowly regaining his own spark of divinity and sense of purpose as he seeks an escape from the mists of Ravenloft. None of this would have been possible, however, had their mutual annoyance friend Rixa not been dead-set on saving the both of them from themselves, despite their belief that this was a hopeless cause... or if they had not joined forces to save her in return when she was captured by her nemesis. A long and dangerous road still lies between them and victory over Strahd, the Dark Powers, and the corruption that stains their very souls, but walk it they shall... after all, nothing worth fighting for is ever easy.

[slateston3]

While on the cross during filming The Passion of the Christ, Jim Caviezel was struck by lighting twice.

Ryan Reynold called Deadpool Marvel Jesus, and they put Wolverine on a St. Andrews Cross/Crux Decussata. Neither of them were struck by lightning, AND they beat passion of the christ at the box office.

[bluehandprint]

Something about misha and jensen being aware of destiel quite early. Something about them joking about it and having discussions later on. Something about the sexual tension in early seasons. Something about jacting joices. Something about the writers putting as much subtext as they could in this story. Something about destiel being in the background since the begining and being the climax in 15x18. Something about gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day

[annmariethrush]

Eventually I’ll write my magnum opus, a 15x18 fix it crack fic where Dean gets ground hog day stuck in the S3 ghostfacers episode immediately after Cas’s death. he has to go through this stupid ghost hunt over and over while he comes to terms with Cas’s confession and tries to ignore his own feelings until he realizes that some cosmic force is trying to show him something. Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day. Finally, hundreds of ghostfacers! Episodes later he finally, teary eyed and distraught, admits that maybe Ed and Harry, insane and stupid though they are, may be right and that he has to admit his feelings for his poor dead angel to get him back.

This naturally turns out to be an act of Gabriel who is still somehow not dead, and we find out at the end that the real kicker is that time hasn’t actually really been on loop and that Dean has been stuck living that day over and over while Sam thinks that he’s dead as per 15x20 because as much as Gabriel wants to finally see Dean and Cas get together after being around since the beginning of the world’s greatest love story, he also just really fucking HATES Sam for some reason and wants to make him suffer by spending months thinking Dean is dead for real no take backs on a stupid hunt after they defeated god. Ultimately, much like his revival in S13, Dean’s love wakes Cas up in the empty, allowing Jack to free him, which was the plan all along, Gabriel just got to have too much fun with the plan after convincing Jack it wouldn’t work if they just told him

[faillen]

just. peaceful property rambles. completely unconstructive, trying to make my brain quiet so I can sleep.

I can’t stop thinking about Peach turning around and expecting Home at his elbow, or inhaling to call his name, only to stop once he remembers.

I’m assuming. What? A week went by between last ep and this ep?

Also just thinking about Pangpang sooo much like. She saw how Home got her brother out of his shell and she’s very much encouraging Peach to reach out because she’s trying to be constructive and positive about the whole situation. But at the same time I really just want to write the post-canon fic where she starts pulling away from Home a bit and eventually she blurts out that she’s mad at him. Cause it’s a simmering thing, and she’s always set her anger aside to make space for being “the positive supportive one!” since Peach takes on so much responsibility and burden as the older brother. But at the end of the day, Home did hit her only brother with a fucking car, and when she thinks about how scared she was that night and how much their life spiraled—even though it was all okay in the end—she does still get incredibly upset.

Also Kan!!! Kan got barely any screen time this episode, and I really need the focus to swing back to her. I don’t know if it will next episode, given the preview, but I need to learn more about what’s going on there. Clearly the fact that she asked to leave right after Home is supposed to make us a bit sus of her but Home’s aunt and uncle and that lawyer are truly pinging so much higher for me lmao.

Also I swear to god, I will bet on it—Uncle Somkid is partly responsible for Home’s parents dying (and it feels like that might be tied up w Kan’s story?). If I’m wrong, fine, but if I’m right, I will eat my shoe.

There’s something about how positively Home views his grandfather versus the neglect and pain caused by his family’s holdings. And on one hand. Rich people bullshit. They love making excuses for negligence! On the other hand, if the show doesn’t want to make the grandfather a villain (and it seems like it doesn’t want to) then someone else has to be (the lawyer? Somkid doesn’t seem that master-mind-y. Though who knows. One of the theories for this week is that he put a hit on his fucking nephew lmao)

I will say. There is something very “Pat gets shot and Wai redeems himself by helping him” about Home getting into a car accident before he apologizes to Peach and Pangpang in person. While I am completely devastated by the trials and tribulations of this very hot, classist man who is actually quite Complicated™—the impact of the apology we get is going to be severely undercut by Peach’s guilt over why Home was driving in the first place. Like the Bad Buddy situation it’s similar vibes of “are you really going to be mad at your friend for outing you when he just helped your boyfriend after your boyfriend got SHOT?”

(The answer to both is: yes, yes you should. these are separate issues. the human emotions of guilt/gratefulness will not let you do that though.)

god. also. just. gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day. Hey. Hey P’Dome, did you watch The CW’s long-running monster of the week, Supernatural (2005)? Cause I think it’s insane that you had the ForceBook ghosts be gay in an episode where you ALSO establish that suicidal ghosts loop through their final moments. You know. Kind of like a Death Echo. An entity/phenomenon which was first introduced in Supernatural season 3, episode 13, “Ghostfacers”. And they got the death echo who happened to be gay to move on by having his crush confess to him. and they uttered the aforementioned famous line. Yknow. Like.

P’DOME DID YOU WATCH SUPERNATURAL, YOU GOTTA TELL ME RIGHT NOW

if I had a nickel for every time a queercoded horror show did this shebang, I’d have two nickels, etc. etc.

I can’t even think about the whole dancing scene and Home and Peach looking at each other while doing the gestures for love. If I do, I will simply explode. I also cannot think about how hurt Home looked when Peach mentioned him running away to the States (me, always: home looks so pathetic ;-; also me: stop. stop that. he basically killed peach, peach is allowed to be mean.)

Okay I’m done.

[invisible-storyteller]

✨ Fic Writing Review 2023 ✨

I was tagged by the legend @hedwig221b, and I said fuck it, might as well try something new.

Words and Fics

331,784 words posted on AO3

6 fandoms represented (and I have many more I want to write for, oh geez)

Most Recent Drop: Thirsty and trapped

Longest Fic (Teen Wolf one): A spark of hope (is all I need)

Top Fics by Kudos (Teen Wolf ones, well Sterek actually :P)

Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day 

Everybody wants some (Stiles)

Coming out (sorta?)

Fix my car and fix my tubes

Forget me not, Valentine

My personal favourites (I have to mention them, okay? They are my babies):

It wasn't destiny, we chose this (Sterek)

Complicated Feelings (one-sided Sterek)

5 times Derek talked about death, and 1 time he talked about love (Sterek)

A normal weekday in the Argent-Hale household (Petopher)

My fandom fic events in 2023

@syr-monthly and @sterekyrround events:

My Sweet Bloody Valentine (Forget me not, Valentine)

Summer 3 Event (This is what I went to school for)

Spooktober (A spark of hope (is all I need))

other events:

Kira Appreciation Week (Home is a person). 

Teen Wolf Rarepair Halloween Event 2023 (you can find my fics for this here)

Teen Wolf Anchor Down Event 2023 (Come steady me)

Theo Appreciation Week 2023 (Haunted dreams)

Teen Wolf Rarepair Week July 2023 (you can find my fics for this here)

Petopher Event May 2023 (you can find these fics here)

Wow, was I productive. Go me!

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

I'm never sure about events because I don't know when I'll be able to commit, but I had too much fun this year with all the events not to repeat something similar next year.

My projects (oh, boy, I have a lot! But just the ones I'm most excited about):

Pack Secret Santa (I really wanna finish this in 2023)

College smut: "straight" Derek and "straight" Stiles have a threesome but instead of the girl, they focus on each other and then start hooking up

5+1 where Stiles loves calling Derek his boyfriend, love of his life etc and does it any chance he gets

Sterek Purge!AU with slightly dark!Stiles

Stand-up comedians!AU

Sterek PWP with consensual non-con

Soulmate!AU but Stiles doesn't realize they are soulmates and Derek thinks Stiles is rejecting him because he's in love with Laura

and a bunch of other stuff that I'll never have the time to write

Rules & Tags below the cut!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

If you wanna @0hheytherebigbadwolf since you always bless my page with awesome posts.

[golby-moon]

you know how when you create something and kinda like it maybe and then by the time you're finally done with it, you basically hate everything about it? animation is that times a thousand when yeah maybe the end is okay but that beginning is nahhhjgkfhgf

that's this but I've decided to post it anyway since it's for destiel day yay. I had this idea back in August but didn't really start putting the time into this until September and early October so

yeah. enjoy the empty fix-it that seemed a lot better in my head admittedly. most of that is probably because I've never really tried to make like an animated amv thing before so the words do not all match up with the pictures but idk it was a learning experience or something

(at 173 unique frames (though only at 3 fps hjgjhkkj) it better have been a learning experience geez)

mostly based on the Ghostfacers episode ghost "gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day." big thanks to the people that dumped a ton of destiel flavored screenshots on me with little to no context whatsoever 👌

(11/05/23)

[rainbow-shine]

will I find you when the night is over?

@spnprideweek's day 7: free space

basically I just had to write my own fix-it fanfic

Castiel found Dean in the kitchen.

Dean was making what appeared to be a PB&J sandwich, and Castiel was suddenly struck by a wave of longing at the domestic scene. His now human heart seemed to want to explode inside his chest, unable to contain the love he felt for the man who was humming a tune as he meticulously distributed the jelly on the bread.

Apparently satisfied with the sandwich, Dean nodded to himself, filling a glass with milk and grabbing the glass and plate, he turned for the exit, only to freeze when he saw Castiel in the doorway.

"Hello, Dean" Castiel said, breaking the tense silence they had fallen into and trying to ignore the way something inside his chest ached at the thought that it was his fault that things were so uncomfortable between them now.

They hadn't discussed the confession, though it's not like they had the time to do it. When Dean rescued him from the empty, Castiel barely had the energy to share a couple of hugs before collapsing from exhaustion. He had spent the rest of the day asleep and by the time he woke up, he had searched for Dean and found him in the kitchen.

And now they were here.

"Hey, Cas," Dean eventually exclaimed, clearing his throat. “I thought you might be hungry”.

Oh.

Dean had prepared him something to eat and that simple gesture was enough for Castiel to feel his eyes fill with tears. His emotions were difficult to control now that he didn't have his grace, but Castiel tried to regain his composure as soon as he could. Dean's friendship, being able to be by his side and having Dean to love him like a brother was enough. It was.

"Thank you," Castiel said.

"Are you okay, Cas?" Dean asked, stepping back to put the plate and glass on the table.

"I'm…" Castiel stopped for a second, wondering how to explain what he was feeling. The mixture of emotions that the mere presence of Dean elicited in him. “I'm fine”.

"It's okay if you're not fine, Cas," Dean whispered, moving closer to him and raising one of his hands as if to place it on his shoulder, but ended up dropping it. Castiel tried not to flinch at how much he wanted that contact, however minimal. “None of us can understand what you went through, not entirely at least, but we are here for you”.

"I know," Cas replied. “Thank you, Dean”.

Another awkward silence.

Castiel wondered if there would come a time when things could go back to the way they were before.

"Are you hungry?" Dean asked, pointing to the plate of food. “I was going to bring you breakfast in bed, but you woke up before I could”.

Castiel simply nodded.

During the entire time it took Castiel to finish the sandwich, Dean seemed to want to say something, sometimes even parting his lips to speak, but he always ended up holding back. Castiel tried to not feel too miserable at the inevitable rejection of his feelings, reminding himself over and over again that he always knew that Dean didn't love him that way.

"Cas," Dean began and Castiel braced himself for the blow to his heart. “Cas I—”

Dean stopped talking.

Castiel knew that Dean didn’t want to hurt him, after all, it had been Dean who had spent months looking for a way to rescue him from the empty and Castiel didn’t believe that all that effort had been just to reject him in a cruel way. However, that didn't mean that Castiel didn't want this torture to end. The anticipation was almost worse than the rejection itself.

"Will you dance with me?" Dean said unexpectedly, standing abruptly and extending one of his hands towards Castiel, who had to blink several times to understand what Dean had said.

"Dance with you?" Castiel asked, his voice shaking with uncertainty. That sounded like a terrible and at the same time wonderful idea.

"Yeah," Dean said. "Come on, it'll be fun".

Castiel wasn't sure about that, but he had never been able to deny Dean anything, so, with a sigh, he took the hand that Dean was still offering him.

With a smile on his lips, Dean led them to the middle of the kitchen, taking his cell phone and playing a song on low volume, so low that Castiel had to concentrate to even hear the lyrics.

They both stood face to face for a few seconds and Castiel tried to smile, he didn't know what Dean was planning, but he still tried to be encouraging. Dean smiled back at him and closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling his bodies together.

Castiel was sure that he had died trying to escape from the empty and this was his personal heaven.

Shyly, not quite sure what were the limits of this, Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck. They both swayed to the rhythm of the melody, looking into each other's eyes and silently saying everything they had never dared to say before. Castiel felt that his heart would stop at any moment from how fast it was beating and that his legs would stop supporting his weight from how much they were shaking.

Dean didn't seem that affected, holding him in his arms like they'd done this a hundred times before. And although Castiel wanted to pull away from him and demand answers, he knew he wouldn't, because this might be the only chance he would have to taste what it was like to be loved by Dean Winchester.

The song ended, but they didn't stop dancing. Castiel took a deep breath before leaning his head against Dean's shoulder, who, in response, only hugged him a little bit tighter.

"I thought I should let my actions speak for me," Dean whispered and Castiel couldn't help but tense. Here it came. “But you deserve to hear this, Cas”.

"Dean?"

"When we first met, I was scared of you. Like, completely terrified,” Dean began. “You were something that until that moment I didn’t believe that existed and that my mind was unable to understand”.

Dean laughed softly.

"But then I started getting to know you," Dean continued. "And you went from being a creature that terrified me to the best friend I've ever had in my entire life".

Castiel felt his breath catch and his brain began to spin at the thousands of meanings this could have. Oh, but Castiel knew what he wanted it to mean. An impossible that no longer seemed to be so.

"You said I changed you, but you changed me too, Cas," Dean finally said, his hands coming up to gently caress his back. “You made me have faith. You made me a better person, because you made me want to be the kind of man you loved. You made me believe that I’m something more than a killer, than a simple tool or a character in a story”.

Tears started running down his cheeks and Castiel did nothing to stop them, but he clung closer to Dean's body, refusing to let him go. This was too much and at the same time not enough. Castiel wanted... oh, how much he wanted...

"You can have me, Cas," Dean confessed and Castiel felt one of Dean's hands tangle in his hair and pull it gently so they could look into each other's eyes again. Dean then gave him the most beautiful smile Castiel had ever seen and said. “I love you too, Cas”.

Nothing, in all his millennia of existence, could compare to this moment.

"Dean," Castiel gasped, a smile making its way to his lips as his hands reached up to cup Dean's face. “Oh, Dean. I love you, I love—”

The rest of his words were interrupted by a pair of soft lips over his.

Castiel felt that entire galaxies were born and died within him. This was everything he had longed for, everything he had wanted. Dean's lips were warm and Castiel, with just one innocent touch, had already become addicted to them. Castiel had convinced himself that just being was enough, but having Dean's love was simply the best thing that had ever happened to him.

When they parted, Dean leaned his forehead against his and gave him another brief kiss before saying: “I'm a very good dancer, huh?”

Castiel gave a laugh that could well have been a sob, pulling away from Dean so he could cover his face with quick kisses, because now he was allowed to do so.

"Of course Dean," Castiel finally said, leaning his head against Dean's shoulder again, this time with the certainty that he would not be rejected.

They danced until the exhaustion made them separate and go to Dean's room to try and get some sleep, both of them knowing that they would never spend a night alone again.

[allypacino]

Okay just before the finale hits. I'm gonna say this. Castiel is one of the most incredible characters created on TV. An angel who lost faith in God. A soldier who gave up his war for a family. A creature from literal Heaven who fell in love with humanity. Or rather, the one man who's his anchor to humanity. And the man? He's flawed. He's angry, he's damaged, and he's scared. But this celestial being, this millions of years old, vast, cavernous entity took one look at the love he had in his heart and knew that was something to fight for. And in the love he found, he rewrote the script for the cosmos. All because of Dean Winchester, the broken bastard on this god-forsaken earth who just. Won't. Stop. Loving. They can't take this away from you, and they can't take this away from us. Castiel fell in love with a man and it changed the universe.

[marvellouspinecone]

So, you should vote for Bill/Heather. Why? Oh, i'm glad you asked. That's because

[id: supernatural screenshot that reads "Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day. end id]

Need i say more?

.

.

.

Fuck yeah of course i do.

You see, i think that a ship is objectively good not because it's cute or beloved, but because the dynamics are interesting. The more fucked up the dynamic is, the better. And Bill and Heather are an incredible duo and it's a little bit insane when you think about it.

On the one hand we have Heather. Don't get me started on Heather i think she is a fascinating character. She is unhappy whenever she is, and any place and situation she's in - she wants to leave. As they say, you can run but anywhere you go you still bring yourself with you. She feels that she is both the labyrinth and the monster trapped in the middle of it. The only happiness she finds is when she stops being what she used to be, when she has the power to become literally whatever whenever, manipulate her own atoms on a whim, when she can spread herself across time and space like butter on warm toast and become one with the universe. Is it trans-coded or am i delusional? (not the time-space butter thing, but the rest - you know what i mean) (also, if something about it is somehow off-colour, forgive me, i try my best but i might miss some nuance).

And then on the other hand we have Bill. Who knows and loves herself so well that even the Doctor can't change her, for better or for worse. Her sense of self and her comfort in her own mind and body are so strong that she can resist extreme brainwashing. And even cyberconversion, which is not even about washing your brain. They literally took her brain, took it apart, assembled it into something else entirely, and she still came out on the other end as herself. And still gay. Good for her.

And somehow those two are into each other. It's the "I don't want to live, if i can't be me anymore" + "i am ready to rewrite my whole entire being and kill everything that i'm supposed to be if it gives me freedom" that does it for me. Bill is Heather's anchor, Heather is Bill's lifeboat. Notice the nautical/water theme.

Can we also talk about their respect for each other's boundaries tho? How Bill is not pushing when she thinks Heather is not interested in her and freaked out after the first puddle incident. Heather doesn't transform Bill without her consent, and later does it only in the very last possible moment before Bill's implied death inside of that cybersuit. (My personal headcanon is that the Pilot can only take those who want to leave - that's why it latched onto Heather - and that was the only moment when Bill actually, genuinely wanted to leave (die), because before that she had hope or purpose, but in that moment she shed the first tear of true desperation).

I like their little flirty interactions as well, those two are adorable

BILL: Can I come too? HEATHER: Maybe.

BILL: Am I dead? HEATHER: Does that feel dead to you?

BILL: How can you fly the Tardis? HEATHER: I'm the Pilot. I can fly anything. Even you.

Heather is so cheeky lmao.

And it's not all

They've spent like a year pining after each other and barely making a move, useless lesbians nation rise

They are the motiff of "Love is not an emotion. Love is a promise" reprising, but now gay

They are sun and moon sapphics, which i always love

And again! They are! Immortal sapphics! Flying through time and space! In canon!!! What else can you want???

Which is the Better Doctor Who Ship?

Canon Lesbians vs Canon Lesbians! Who will emerge victorious for the semifinals?

[Image Description: A blue slide showcasing pictures of the competing ships, Bill/Heather and Jenny/Vastra It has a large VS between them]

[fanfic-corner]

do u have any fics that i wont have heard of? like ones with fewer hits so there harder to find

ooo this is a good one, anon! you haven't specified which fandom you're interested in, so I'll start with SPN and then do some other fandoms if people are interested :) and for the purposes of this, I'll be counting anything with under 5k hits as lesser known!

Lesser Known Destiel Fics

you're the one that i wanted to find by badritual (373)

The Castiel of old has fallen away like molted feathers, leaving behind a wholly new creation.

gay love pierced through the veil of death and saved the day by honeybee (444)

Cas doesn’t die. That’s literally it.

this is a good thing, dean. (prayer is a sign of faith) by cascountsdeansfreckles (529)

Dean’s legs still don’t want to move. He sits propped up against the wall and stares unseeing at the chair in the middle of the room. Everything that Cas said plays over and over in his head. The image of Cas looking devastatingly relieved, content, as he was taken from Dean won’t leave his mind.

He doesn’t know what else to do. So he prays.

1 Missed Call by glenien (597)

The buzzing never stops.

so it goes by K_K_TiBal (665)

Castiel returns one more time to retrieve something he left behind.

absurd in the best way by clasch (669)

Castiel tries to make a pie for Dean.

Bodily Communion by runsinthefamily (905)

Survival in Purgatory has some weird aspects.

may i feel said he by bk119 (1k)

a coda to 15.19. cas comes back, and words are said.

choices. by scoundrelhan (1.1k)

Castiel thinks he’s dying. Humans are always doing that.

you can have it, though by make_your_user_a_name (1.1k)

Jack was walking away and it was too late. It was too late because Dean didn’t think he would have to say anything. He thought Jack would bring it up and they would never have to know that he missed Cas so desperately it hurt. It hurt so goddamn bad.

And then Jack stopped and turned back to the Winchesters, his eyes focused on Dean. And that’s when it hit him. Jack knew. Jack knew what Cas had said. Jack knew Dean needed to say it or the second Cas was back everything would just go back to normal.

So he did.

“Bring him back.” His voice was low but it wasn’t threatening. It came out more broken than anything. Because he was so broken. And maybe it was okay to let them see it. “Bring Cas back, Jack. We,” he glanced at Sam and took a deep breath. “I need him.”

15x18 coda: it's in the being by contemplativepancakes (1.1k)

Blood splatters from a severed neck, the body twitching before it collapses to the floor. It sprays across Dean’s face, dotting red droplets over his cheeks and in his hair. Dean keeps his mouth shut so he doesn’t get the taste of copper stuck in it; he already can’t get Cas’s face out of his mind.

Dean knows this is the last place he should be, that with the world ending, it doesn’t really matter if there’s one less nest of vamps in the world, but if he stops moving, then he’ll… have to think.

“I wondered what my true happiness could even look like, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have.”

Fuck, they wasted so much time.

15x19 coda: stripped of everything holy by contemplativepancakes (1.2k)

“About time we put you on the family tree, right?”

Jack sinks down in the chair across from him, contemplating. He puts the tip to the table and rests it there.

Jack glances up at him. “Why isn’t Cas’s name here?”

That’s a damn good question, Dean thinks. It’s because he was too much of a fucking coward. Dean’s still having trouble reconciling everything Cas said with the past ten years of his life. It seems like, maybe, if he thinks about it hard enough, he can see that Cas returned his feelings, but he still can’t believe Cas said all those things. He’s bullshit all the way through, but Cas… Cas hadn’t thought so.

Dean clears his throat. “We’ll add his next, huh?”

candles & wishes by harrow (1.2k)

Dean turned to Cas speculatively. “Do you have a birthday?”

Now Everything is Easy 'cause of You by chai_lattes (1.3k)

Cas never understood why humans were so fond of sleeping, but he was starting to. Dean chalked it up to knowing that they were finally safe, or Cas finally had a real bed, but Cas would just smile, quietly knowing the real difference was no longer having to sleep alone.

Cas reflects on being human, being happy, and being a morning person.

Chocolate, Caramel, and Zombies (Of a Metaphorical Sense) by TextReciprocation (1.4k)

Castiel approached the counter and looked at the menu contemplatively. The barista spun around to face him, eyes bright and hair untidy. He was roughly Castiel's height and build, with sandy hair and lightly tanned skin. Castiel's breath caught at the sight of him, but he bit his tongue, chastising himself.

Cute baristas were rarely gay and always taken. Castiel knew this. Fate, as it happened, was a cruel mistress.

Never Enough by make_your_user_a_name (1.5k)

It took him hours to notice it. He hadn’t felt it in the moment. Hadn’t felt the Cas’ hand stick slightly to his shoulder as it pushed him away, leaving him to face the Empty alone.

But now that he’d noticed it, it was all he could look at. That bright red handprint standing out starkly against his jacket. It was perfect, really. Not a drop out of place. Just a handprint and nothing else. That was all he had left.

The handprint where Castiel had “gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.” And now he’d saved him one more time. Same shoulder, same placement, same sting when Dean looked at it.

It was poetic in the cruelest of ways. And if it weren’t for everything, he would have thought this was Chuck’s writing. But, no. Castiel was the only part of Chuck’s story that he couldn’t control. Because Cas had fallen.

how's hope feeling today by sleepinnude (1.5k)

After Cas is gone, bees start to follow Dean.

Sunrise by mattzerella_sticks (1.7k)

Dean and Sam were free. Finally, unequivocally, free.

But this wasn't the happy ending Dean had expected. Maybe in the past, having Sam in the passenger seat tearing across an open stretch of highway as the sunsets, it'd be what he wanted. But that was years ago. He's not that man anymore. Dean's tired of sunsets, of saying goodbye. He yearns for a different ending. One that's less of an ending, and more of a beginning. A sunrise instead of a sunset.

Sam has his. Dean lost his. Despite this setback, he won't stop. He'll live in memory of his sunrise.

Except, what can he do when he feels those rays on his face again?

Loving Castiel by dinluke (1.9k)

“How did you find me?” Dean asks. Castiel squints and looks at him like he’s the sun.

“Your, uh, yearning was pretty loud,” he says sheepishly.

Sleep Deprivation by Honey_Honey (2.3k)

Dean licked his lips. They tasted like honey. Which was funny, seeing as it was the one part of his breakfast he hadn’t eaten. In fact, Cas had tried the honey instead.

Oh. Oh fuck.

“Did I just kiss Cas?”

And Sam’s descent into uncontrollable laughter was an answer enough.

Walk Through Fire For You by purple_charlie (2.3k)

Boyfriend.

The word still feels foreign in Dean’s mouth, still brings back echoes of John Winchester’s thinly-veiled (if even that) homophobia. "Man up, don’t be a sissy, I didn’t raise a fairy". It’s a swollen blister in the back of Dean’s mind, throbbing with pain whenever a stranger’s eyes linger too long on Cas’ hand in his, whenever a waitress double-takes at how close they sit in diner booths.

But here, dirty dancing with Cas in a warehouse full of other queer folks, Dean wants to shout from the rooftops- I’m Dean Winchester, I drive the baddest car in town, I lift heavy things for a living, and this is my boyfriend.

Could Not Return You by tigersinlondon (2.8k)

Dean might have gotten over himself when it comes to sleeping with Cas (in the sex way, not the cuddles-and-snoring way), and even telling him that he loves him, but he’s not ready to do anything crazy like hold his hand in public, or admit aloud that they’re in a relationship in front of Sam, or God forbid, actually share a room, a bed, a living space with Cas.

Funny Bone by PallasPerilous (4.9k)

It wasn’t even a particularly creepy skeleton; it was in kind of a “just chillin’” pose on the floor. One ankle was still locked up in a heavy iron cuff, at the end of a short chain leading back to the wall. Snoresville, as dead stuff goes; Dean’s seen worse at Disneyland.

It was the skeleton’s comment about Dean’s ass that really livened things up.

Compromise by tiamatv (7.5k)

It wasn't uncommon for Dean to find himself tracking down an ex-angel in their underground home in the middle of the night, because Cas got nightmares. Ten years ago, though, if anyone had told Dean this would become a semi-regular occurrence in his life, he’d probably have laughed so hard, his beer would have come out of his nose.

Crazy Hex Girlfriend by whichstiel (10k)

Dean and Castiel infiltrate an extravagant couples-only Halloween party at the invitation of the party’s host who has been receiving mysterious threats. They patrol the party for hex bags and dark altars, interview suspects, and Dean happily scores a lot of free food. He just wishes he could score with Cas.

How Many Slams In An Old Screen Door? [podfic] by Tenoko1 (15k/2hr podfic)

In which Castiel is a theatre major terrible at first impressions; Dean is a set designer who likes Cas anyway; and the most chaotic production of Les Miserables in history somehow manages to go off without a hitch. Or, just as you should never give a moose a muffin (because he'll want some jam to go with it), you should never give a blank check to a university theatre department. [podfic version]

The Cabin on the Lake by DeanRH (22k)

The Winchester brothers are long lost to history. The angel keeps the vigil, haunted by the shadows of his regrets.

Among other things.

this post is getting way too long so I'm gonna start a second one now!! hopefully you can enjoy these lesser known fics in the meantime :)

[vampvom1t]

i swear something universally changed when ed zeddmore said "gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day" like it quite literally became one of the most memorable things of the show how did-

[googledocsdyke]

Do you have any thoughts/recommended texts for Cas analysis? I genuinely love the dean gender studies and I just wanna know what people might apply to Cas.

yes absolutely!! while dean studies is my first love i also deeply love cas analysis (casnalysis?) and wanna strive to do more of it. here’s some stuff off the top of my head:

1. gender, sexuality, heavenly embodiment

this is much more theological and less psychological than dean’s whole Deal because there’s so much fascinating stuff around how the angels in general experience express and conceptualise gender (@autisticandroids has a good post about angel gender & lily sunder has some regrets) but for cas in particular there’s this fascinating kind of collective fandom agreement (which i DO also agree with) that cas’ own gender kind of is gay man, that he actively chose gay manhood, but also that he’s kind of..... lacking the Insane Genderishness that dean exhibits at all times, even though he actively chose to engage in male gendering and became so comfortable housed Within Jimmy that he, as some post i saw the other day that i can’t find anymore said, “became his own body” when jimmy died. 

like on the one hand there’s an almost-canonical transness to the whole process but it also never feels fully written-into because 1) the supernatural writers for all their insanity are sometimes very boring and *most* of the time only feel interested in narratively expressing angels As Their Vessels anyways and just like leaving convenient spaces around these questions (boldest thing they ever did was hot girl cas which i WISH i had the range to unpack) 2) there’s a vague inevitabilist shrug to the whole thing since they obviously weren’t gonna recast misha collins (though they HAVE tried to get rid of him) and 3) something amorphous about cas’ entire..... personhood? makes him Empty Of Gender as a contrast to dean’s Full Of Gender (i believe it was @deanwinchestergender who said this) and like is it just the juxtaposition to dean/jensen’s whole insane Deal? or something else? 

like he actively chooses the terms of his own embodiment and yet narratively it feels like a shrug. and we’re all like “well obviously even though he’s a celestial being he was always a gay man” and like WHY. i love it idk idk much to think about! and yeah just in general the theological questions of possession and cas genuinely Becoming a man as he iterates himself consciously towards humanity it almost feels like. by doing the most boring things possible with his gender they made it interesting? idk if that makes sense.

2. discipline, free will, metanarratives

cas is like a tool (“i am not a hammer, as you say”) held in constant discipline and surveillance by the system that enmeshes him and it’s really, really fascinating to watch the way the angels hold each other to conformity. especially pre-god they kind of produce each other as foucauldian disciplinary subjects (which i posted about here) in perpetual visibility through angel radio, generating their own and each other’s conformity rather than being directly ruled through like a single centralised source of power. only the spectre of a god. and obviously cas’ whole thing is that he has ALWAYS disobeyed and the narrative affords him this psychological interiority never given to the foucauldian subject, an internal will and desire for freedom in a way that fits more with the liberal subject (super roughly and not with the same pro-capitalist implications but he has this internal drive for self-liberation. 

and that’s also where the metanarrative comes in ofc! i think it was @dykecas who said that cas is a real person written by people who hate him, and there’s this crack in the narrative (mirroring the crack in his chassis) where cas gets in, over and over, despite all the order imposed by the show’s authorfathergod. like we’ve all seen the analysis about how it was Never supposed to be this way they DID try to fire misha collins in 2012 and yet this gay man literally cannot be stopped! i think actually his appearance in scoobynatural is a neat little distillation of this — he drops into this animated world originally with a singular purpose (Save Sam And Dean) the same way he dropped into lazarus rising with a single 3-episode arc (Save Dean). huge hammer behaviour. his “utility” diminishes within the narrative (he finds that he can’t fly in the scooby doo universe) and so he is no longer a tool/means to an end that salvation moves Through. and in the process (and huge creds to @lesbianyuugi for this) he does something ENTIRELY unrelated to his original cas-as-tool aim, and learns, like, the meaning of laughter from shaggy and scooby. WHICH brings me onto the third point

3. love, queer kinship, family-making

HE’S GAY AND HE’S A DAD! i feel like a lot of tumblr throws around the term “found family” in a very flat and tropey way (which is fine it’s cute and fun no matter what!) but like . GOD there’s so much specific stuff going on here. like the way that cas (unintentionally) obliterates the midwestern white christian nuclear family (made incarnate in the novaks) which like could be uniformly portrayed as an act of deep malice and villainy but instead grows to serve as a surrogate (if imperfect/complex, but DEEPLY loving) father figure for the gay daughter who has now escaped that nuclear family/seen it destroyed depending on how you read it? like he remasters the entire concept of fatherhood and it’s a very interesting (if DEEPLY) unintentional subversion of the homewrecking non-nuclear gay trope. cas is so good because his character arc doesn’t say “look, gay people can be normal and have perfect settled families just like you” it says “gay people DON’T have normal settled families actually and they are full of love anyways! or Because of the abnormalcy itself!) 

to cite ziz lesbianyuugi again he DOES queer fatherhood in his parenting of jack particularly because it really is one of the ONLY parent-child relationships in the show that breaks the incessant cycle of abuse and control and cold indifference perpetuated by the authorfathergod (a cycle reified in 15x20 lol). like god’s treatment of cas and his siblings mirrors john’s treatment of sam and dean (particularly dean) mirrors victor’s treatment of krissy and her crew mirrors dean’s later treatment of jack. there is a CONSTANT reiteration of the story of authorfathergod (often a father tightly entwined in biological kinship) treating a child as a mechanism or a tool or a means to an end. and cas looks at ALL that he has suffered and all that he is ever known and chooses constantly to reject it with every piece of love he expresses for his child. and not to sound like the kind of academic people make fun of on twitter but there is an INHERENT queerness to that. gay love will pierce through [the veil of death/the thick silence of abuse/the mechanism of godly control/hegemonic american masculinity] and save the day

anyways here are some very haphazard recs on everything above for further reading:

angels in america (tony kushner)

histrionics of the pulpit: trans tonalities of religious enthusiasm

the public universal friend: religious enthusiasm in revolutionary america

discipline and punish (michel foucault)

friendship as a way of life (michel foucault)

the genesis of blame (recommended by @pietacastiel who has GREAT theology content in general

all about love (bell hooks)

the chapter “when hated characters talk back” in anti-fandom: dislike and hate in the digital age (is actually explicitly about cas)

also cannot recommend enough following the ppl i tagged above!! most of the unlinked stuff is available through http://libgen.li/ and bookshop is a good alternative to amazon if ur american and want physical copies

[agusvedder]

--I have in my head on a loop:

"...Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day."

Ghostfacers - 3x13

On a loop. On a loop. In that haunted house, the victims repeat their deaths on a loop, again and again. Always a circle. And if Corbett was freed by the power of love, that means they not only repeat their deaths, but their feelings are still untouched, they're still there pulling something to keep those ghosts stuck, unable to move on...  Like angels and demons in the empty, they repeat their deaths and their biggest mistakes, their unfinished bussiness. 

Ruby: "Why do you call it Empty? This place is full, full of sorrow and despair playing over and over again, of angels and demons dreaming about their regrets. Forever" (15x13)

Now, in this Ghostfacers episode from Season 3, they used Corbett’s feelings for Ed as a comedic resource at some level. Because in Supernatural s3, Gay=Joke. We know it’s not that way anymore. We know it for a fact. 

Now, I wanna bring some attention to this small piece of dialogue of the Ghostfacers episode.

SAM: Think we were off on this? I mean, that was just a death echo. 

 DEAN: Yeah, but what's it doing here? Did anybody get shot here? 

 SAM: No, not that I could find. 

 SPRUCE: What's a death echo? 

 SAM: Look, we got a problem here. That ghost ain't it. 

 HARRY: Yeah, that's real. Like, that happened. 

 SPRUCE: What's a death echo? 

 DEAN: Echoes are trapped in a loop, okay? They keep replaying how they died over and over and over again, usually in the place where they were ganked. It's about as dangerous as a scary movie. 

 SAM: So maybe the echo's not dangerous, but maybe something else is.

Okay, I know maybe it wasn’t the original intention of the writers for this episode to be a perfect guide to explain Destiel’s last episodes and the ending of Supernatural, but as show as well designed as this, and with so many callbacks, parallels and mirrors, I am doubting if this is not intentional, ‘cause the small piece of dialogue I wrote up there is not the end. 

Finally, the intern Corbett dies. And Harry suddenly has a moment of clarity. 

HARRY:- I...I know how we can get through to him. 

ED: How? 

HARRY: Ed... He had feelings for you. 

ED: Huh? 

HARRY: He wanted you. 

ED: Wa-- wanted me to what? 

HARRY: You know.  And you know what you've got to do. You can do it, Ed. You've always been the brave one. Yes, you can. You make us brave -- Maggie, right? 

MAGGIE: Yeah. Yeah you do. You totally do. 

HARRY: Ed...You got to go be gay for that poor, dead intern. You got to send him into the light."

Out of the darkness, into the light. 

"ED: Corbett, look. Hey, it's just Ed, buddy. It's just me. Hey, hey, Corbett, listen to me. Listen to me. I -- we... Okay. You meant... Corbett, you meant a lot to the team. You meant... You meant a lot to  me. You know, never back down...Never say a bad word, okay? I remember that, Corbett. I-I remember that. I remember because I love you, Corbett. I really, truly love you. Do you remember that? do you?"

Ed says the magic words to wake Corbett up from that loop of suffering, death and regret. Words that remind me to other words.

Buddy.  We needed you back. I don't get words wrong. We need you. I need you. 

Goodbye Stranger. When Dean was honest about his own feelings, Cas was free.

Also notice how Harry used “He wanted you” instead of, I don’t know, “he liked you” or something. This is a theme that’s been repeating for seasons with Dean specifically, the Want vs Need, the Plural vs Singular in regards to Cas. The whole purgatory arc, the Michael!Dean arc with his famous, seemingly random question “What do you want?” in the beginning of season 14. Surprise surprise, it’s not random, and we know it. 

(Tiny detail that maybe is not that interesting but I got it on my head and I gotta write it: In this season, episode 4, we see Chuck being a writer again, writing the last Winchester book. Chuck’s pseudonym in season 5 was Carver Edlund. This season we already had that callback to Carver, engraved on stone on the crypt where Rowena chooses to die. Where is our callback to Edlund? .... Well. Edlund wrote Ghostfacers in s3). 

Also, this small thing answer my own question from 15x02 when I noticed a visual parallel between Cas and the ghosts from hell.

Okay, so my speculation is that this specific dialogue will repeat some time in the future when SOME human we know rescue SOME dead angel we know and love. It. Fits. 

To Conclude, and in the Ghostfacer’s words:

ED: We know this much: that every day, including today, is a new beginning. We learned more than we can say in the brutal feat of the Morton House.

HARRY: The Ghostfacers were forced to face something far more scary than ghosts. They were forced to face themselves.

ED: War changes Man.

HARRY: And Maggie.

ED: War changes man. And one woman... You know Corbett, we just... ah gosh, we just like to think that you're out there, watching over us.

HARRY: As far as we're concerned, you're not an intern anymore. You have more than earned full Ghostfacer status. Plus, it would be cool to have a ghost on the team.

ED: Yeah. Heh heh. And here we were thinking that, you know, we were teaching you and all this time you were teaching us, about heart, about dedication, and about how gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day. Thank you, Alan J. Corbett.

(I know this is a mix of stuff, I’m not sorry though.)

-------

OKAY, so I’m not gonna detail phrase by phrase why it feels relevant, because it’s pretty evident, so I trust you guys to read it and share with me what you feel about the end, and how do you think this relates. But this is... ugh ñksndfñ.Its an amazing example on how FAR this show has gotten, how it keep circling back to the start over and over and over, and past canon but evidently evolved as an inspiration for future episodes. Certainly the “Gay” resource stopped being a joke a LONG time ago. 

Side note: thank you crippling depression, anxiety and self loathing for finally allow me to post this meta. 

[deanwasalwaysbi]

When I tell you there was never a moment in my mind that I didn't associate that Empty deal with Angel & BTVS...

Supernatural trying to fill the niche of Buffy, then try to avoid being associated with it by making vampires 'endangered or extinct' then a decade and a half later going 'fuck it' and going full hog with the whole 'if you experience even one moment of true happiness' thing.

[estrel]

so i’ve been rewatching spn episodes all day and i just finished watching 11x14 when they find out lucifer is possessing cas and uh,,, dean is like yearning yearning at the end. jeez dude we get it you’re repressed and in love with your best friend. but back to my point — i was watching the end scene where dean is basically like “okay our priority now is trapping lucifer and saving cas” “he didn’t choose it willingly” blah blah blah gay gay gay ANYWAY it made me think of the part in doctor who when the doctor says to rose “i could save the world but lose you” because at this point dean is basically saying “okay we can figure out amara later, but we NEED to get cas back” while sam is just like uhhh maybe we could wait until we save the world??

there’s just,, something to be said about the importance of their relationship which trumps so many other things. like, the same goes for sam and dean, but...never sam and cas? we know they’re friends, but they never really show us any angsty “I can’t lose you” moments or anything like that. on this point, don’t you think it’s weird that sam never gets like...a “best friend” character? like dean gets benny and charlie and cas, and sam gets...love interests? at every turn?

and to build on that, all of dean’s friends or people he’s been close to have some queer allegory or another. charlie’s a lesbian, benny has that whole metaphor about being a good monster that you could argue about on some meta level, and even claire (who is confirmed queer) is set up as a direct parallel to dean on multiple occasions.

and yet the relationship dean has with cas is comparable to so many other (usually straight) canon relationships across film and tv. specifically what first comes to mind is stiles and lydia from teen wolf (btw this has just been festering in my mind for a few days but: there’s literally a scene that looks just like the one where dean is sitting against the wall with his head in his hands, but its stiles and lydia leaning against opposite sides of the same wall, where lydia can’t remember stiles and he’s stuck in another world...if they do this with destiel i’ll combust)

anyway, they’re gay and they’re canon and gay love will pierce through the veil of death and save the day, damn it.