#something something Jay is the bird and the devil is the internet

[ohgreat-moretapes]

Tim

Tim Tim Tim

Did you know that bluejays are corvids

And they're related to crows and ravens and and

And and they symbolize strength to confidence to communication

And and they have the reputation of being loud, aggressive, and mean but to some they symbolize good luck? Or a sign of good things to come

Sorry I'm autistic about birds

I sure did! When I found that out for the first time it kinda blew my mind and now they're my favorite.

I also like the southern folklore of them flying down to hell on Fridays to gossip to the devil about us.

-Tim

[a-coulter-winchester]

For Sale: Dead ends

Warnings: Some confrontation and excitement. 

Sunlight filled the room, birds chirped somewhere in a tree nearby. The hum of a car on the road droned off into the distance. Miles popped his head up and huffed at something out the bedroom window. The room was mostly peaceful except the soft snores and leveled breathing coming from you.

“I LOVE BOOMERANGS!” You shot up in a blaze of glory as a loud drilling noise came from across your window.

Miles was howling and barking at the intrusive sounds. You had fallen asleep with your laptop. The sound was starting to give you a headache or the lack of sleep was. You swallowed trying to wet your throat and pushed the laptop off your lap. You checked your phone to see that it was eight in the morning.

“Miles, who the hell drills at 8 am??” You hissed your grogginess was quickly replaced with anger. 

Your back and neck felt stiff from the awkward position you had slept in. Stomping towards the window you observed the situation in shock. You could see straight into Eric’s bedroom and he could see right into yours if he wanted to.

There he stood directly in front of the window. He didn’t have a shirt on, he had what looked to be a pair of boxers or pajamas bottoms on. The V peaking out of his waist band lead your eyes to his beautiful sculpted abs. You subconsciously bit your lip while studying every little detail of his perfect body.

In that moment you completely forgot about what a jerk your neighbor was. All you could think about was how much you wanted to run your tongue over his... your thoughts were broken as you made eye contact with him. He was staring right at you and even stopped drilling. His eyes seemed to see right through you. 

“Shit.” You awkwardly turned and then did a little 360 spin to face him again.

You pulled your window open and tried to throw on your best angry face. He copied you and shoved his window open before leaning out the window picking up on the fact that you were about to yell at him.

“Can you not drill this early in the morning?” Your blood boiled as he smirked at you and looked down for a moment.

“Are you sure you don’t want to join me in here? You can get a better look that way.” He said holding onto the ledge of the window. His broad shoulders made the frame look a lot smaller. His muscles tightened with his grip on the frame giving you every detail of his hard body. 

“Wha-N-no. No! I was still waking up. Ew no thank you.” Infuriated at the comment you slammed the window shut and turned to leave the room. The drill started back up and now the image of the beautiful jerks smug smile stained your mind. “No just a dumb jerk Y/N, he’s not beautiful!”

You weren’t sure how he could literally threaten you to stay off his property and then to turn around the next day just to tease you about coming over.

A sigh left your lips as you stomped down the stairs. Annoyed with the events of the morning had you craving a hot fresh pot of coffee. While the coffee brewed you propped your elbows on the table leaning your face between your fingers. You gently massaged your temples wishing the kitchen would have been your quiet safe haven yet all you could still hear was his stupid power tools.

As If possessed you cradled your cup and walked out your front door. Was there peace on your porch? Not, now the sound seemed to echo from there so you let your feet carry you to your car which was parked on the street luckily instead of your garage. You climbed in lazily and shut the door with sigh as the sound was drowned out. You sipped on the thick warm liquid in peace while trying to recollect your thoughts. Surprisingly you had very little success in digging up any information on your Hot but Jerk of a neighbor.  He had somehow managed to keep a substantial amount of information off the internet.  

All you knew was that he was an ex-Marine and worked for Dauntless Inc. the rival company of Divergents International. That was also apparently where Four and Tris worked.  Once your coffee mug was empty you sighed and opened the car door reluctantly you had to get some work done. You prayed that he would be silent now as most of your work would be done at home from your laptop. To your surprise it was completely quiet. 

You managed to get a few hours of work done and decided it was time to take sweet little Miles out, who has been so patiently cooped up. Things seemed quiet over at the handsome devils house yet you didn’t want to assume he was out of his house.  Knowing your luck he would be creeping through his house trying to figure out how he’d control the neighborhood next. Keeping Miles close you let your thoughts drift, it was a really nice warm day out with a perfect breeze.  The Neighborhood was mostly quiet except for the distant buzzing of someone mowing their lawn, the occasional car passing by and birds chirping back and forth. 

“Hey.” Four called out walking up the hill. You shook off your trance and smiled politely at him. 

“Hi Neighbor.” You chuckled watching as he stopped a few feet away from you. 

“How was your first night?” Four asked. shifting as he looked around for a moment then back to you.

“Good...until about the ass crack of dawn.” You partially joked but there was a heavy dose of annoyance in your tone. 

“Yeaah.. He’s going to try and push all your buttons. Don’t let him.” Both of you nodded in agreement about the asshole to the left of you.  

“Why don’t you come over tonight for dinner. Will and Christine are coming. it’s a BBQ thing.”  Four offered and inside you were excited to hear that. Eric was starting to make you uneasy. 

“Yeah sure. it’d be nice to make some friends.” You smiled and crossed your arms. 

“Ok. See you at 7:00.”  You barely heard what Four said as You caught movement out of your eye. 

Miles decided the best place to poop was in the one  yard that could end up being fatal for him. You felt frozen not wanting to yell to draw Eric out but also wanting to hurry up and get your dog. Four stood there next to you probably assessing the situation. You began to move before he reached out and gently gripped your arm. 

“Wait..” Four whispered. His eyes searched the premises and the house as best as he could.  “Go low.”  He advised and so you took a minute before crouching down. 

You made it to the hedges and froze again this time at the sound of the door to Eric’s house creaking open.

“Fuck!” You hissed and faltered before bolting towards your dog. You caught Eric in your peripherals He grinned and bit his lip in a ominous way. 

He bolted across the lawn directly towards you covering more ground than you could of imagined. He was quickly closing in on you. Your heart raced and your vision tunneled in on Miles who had just finished crapping on Satan’s lawn. Your hands wrapped around Miles clutching him quickly to you. 

A yelp left your lips as you sunk to the neatly manicured lawn to embrace the impact of Eric’s body. Nothing happened except for a very gruff  “Oomph.” Followed by a hard thud. You turned to see Eric and Four wrestling on the ground. 

“Y/N! Run!” Four yelled and you didn’t hesitate, you took off and B lined straight for your door.

You shut and lock the door panting and still cradling Miles close to your chest. Your legs burned as you took off up the stairs finally in the safety of your room. Worried about Four and the tussle you experienced outside you gathered your wits and took a peek out the window. The Lawn was empty and there was no sounds. No police sirens, sounds of pummeling or two brute men having a heated conversation. You sighed and started to pull back out of the window when your heart leapt up into your throat. Eric was glaring at you through his window.

He was angry and it made you feel many things. Your fear made sense but the heat spreading between your thighs is what confused you. “Shut the curtain and walk away!” A small voice in the back of your head screamed.  

“Four won’t always be there to protect you. Next time I see you outside, You’re Mine!” He hissed and slammed his window shut. Hard enough to break the glass but it stayed in tact. 

Everything felt weird, You should have been feeling more afraid. Angry even to be threatened. Maybe it was shock. You couldn’t figure out what he meant by that. That threat could have meant so many things.  Not only did you need to Thank Four but you needed answers from all of them at the BBQ tonight. how dangerous was Eric.. The more you thought about it the more you felt something odd stirring inside of you. Something that was almost curious to push Eric’s buttons back to see how far he would really go. You took a deep breath and tried to calm your nerves chalking it up to being an Adrenaline rush.  

Tags: @o0idk0o @iammarylastar @every-jai @angeli-fucking-cat @shitfire599 @12monkees @maddisach

[in-defense-of-the-horror]

WiHM Masterpost: Creepypasta  Narrations

For any of my followers who want to support women in horror this month but don’t want to actively search for a way to do it, I have taken the liberty of compiling this masterpost.

It’s a long, long list of creepypasta narration videos that you can go listen to, like and share. 

Written by Women:

Borassca written by C.K. Walker and performed by MrCreepyPasta

Borassca V written by C.K. Walker and performed by MrCreepyPasta

“The Darklings” written by Jai’me Townsend and performed by MrCreepyPasta

“Brother Dear Sister Dear: Playground” written by MissShadowLovely and performed by MissShadowLovely and MrCreepyPasta

“Brother Dear Sister Dear: First Date” written by MissShadowLovely and performed by MissShadowLovely and MrCreepyPasta

“Brother Dear Sister Dear: Birthday Party” written by MissShadowLovely and performed by MissShadowLovely and MrCreepyPasta

“Brother Dear Sister Dear: Slumber Party” written by MissShadowLovely and performed by MissShadowLovely and MrCreepyPasta

“Brother Dear Sister Dear: Springbreak” written by MissShadowLovely and performed by MissShadowLovely and MrCreepyPasta 

“Brother Dear Sister Dear: Shopping Trip” written by MissShadowLovely and performed by MissShadowLovely and MrCreepyPasta

Narrated By Women:

Misc:

“The Shredder Monkey” written by NickyXX and featured on KingSpook’s Channel, narrated primarily by Eden

CreepyMissusPasta:

“The Boy on the Steps” written by Pensive Soul

“The Seer of Possibilities” written by Thomas O.

“The Hospital” written by Unknown

"Are You Coming Upstairs?” written by Unknown

“Safe” written by Rachel Chenel

“The House on First Street” written by Unknown

“From the Mouths of Lambs” written by Unknown

“Their World Was White” written by Unknown

“Mason” written by Melissaurus

“Denial” written by Dusty Davis

“They Were Lying” by Jerry Zhompson

“Outside Lights” written by SnakeTongue

“The Montford Experiment” written by Kenneth Kohl

“The Three Day Dark” written by Unknown

“Lazy Saturday Night” written by Mycool of the Fear Collective

“Every Child’s Fear” written by Unknown

“Project Icarus” written by Jerry Zhompson

“Arms” written by Umbrello

“Don’t Think of the Old Hag” written by Daniel Hammonds

“Dating Game” written by Unknown

“Busking” written by Unknown

“Full Stop” written by Ahrianna

“Red Water” written by Muderhouze

“I Can Hear Them” written by apocalypseHunter

“Dive God” written by Charles Coffman

“Three Bitesize Tales” by Vincent V Cava

“The Gristers” written by Unknown

“The Amnesia Tapes” written by Unknown

“Office 7734″ written by IPostAtMidnight

“Resort connection” written by danatblair

“Big Bad Wolf” written bySpikeStereno

“The Piggy Room” written by Unknown

“Rats” written by Unknown

“To My Sister Becky” written by RaidenDP1

“The House on Koppi” written by Frank Wagers

“The Window People” written by PhiRh0

“The Long List” written by HumboldLycanthrope

“They’re Everywhere” written by Unknown

“The Silhouette” written by Unknown

“Department of Complaints” written by IPostAtMidnight

“Don’t Peek” written by Spamalot2006

“Relief” written by Abysmii

“The Antiguan Giant” written by Unknown

“Basement Room” written by Unknown

“The Earl of Shrewsbury” written by Unknown

“A Hanging Lantern” written by G. Preeb

“I Saw a Bit of Sun Today” written by Vincent V Cava

“The Price of Passion” written by Aaron Shotwell

“To New Friends” written by Michael Whitehouse

“The Mail Man” written by Unknown

“No More Sins” written by Vincent V Cava

“One Way Doors” written by Andrew Kim

“Fun Town” written by A.L. Green

“Late Night Television” written by Insaniac

“Home Sick” written by Vincent V Cava

“Lonely Bethany” written by Aaron Shotwell

“The Pond” written by Mara

“Keep Em Laughing.wmv” written by Unknown

“At Any Price” written by Lucy C.

“The Black Fog” written by Alex Sorrow

“The Devil’s Perfume” written by Unknown

“Barricade” written by entropyblues

“Nightmares” written by Anabiel

“Maternal Instinct” written by Unknown

“Rap Rat” written by Unknown

“The Girl in White” written by Unknown

“An Egg” written by Andy Weir

“Laughing Jack” written by SnuffBomb

“Eidetic” written by  Bgends

“Iron Gates” written by J.L. Rach

“Necrosis”

“To Be Normal” written by Vincent V Cava

“If You Lost a Loved One” written by David

“Polly, the Staring Doll” written by Connie and Lauren

“To Be Immortal” written by Shinigami.Eyes

“The Woman in the Red Sundress” written by Vincent V Cava

“Daisy Chain Motel” written by OvenFriend

“Hoarding” by Cleverboy

“A Story to Scare My Son” written by OvenFriend

“Bishop Selby” written by Dead Palette

“To My Ex-Husband” written by CrimsonCherubim

“Rose” written by Monica

“The Little Hobo Boy” written by Vincent V Cava

“Blue Light” written by Colin’s Home for the Damned

“The Feeling” written by Unknown

“Welcome to Sandalwood” written by Jacob Mielke

“The Crying Room” written by Mike MacDee 

“The Owl” written by Aaron Shotwell

“The Crime Scene” written by Vincent V Cava

“Fetish” written by Shinigami.Eyes

“Away With the Fairies” written by Tom Farr

“Knocking” written by Vincent V Cava

“The Smiling Owl” written by Justin Sutters

“Don’t Go Into the Basement” written by Rose

“The Beautiful Burden” written by Vincent V Cava

“Genetic Memory” written by Unknown

“The Crawlspace” written by Kaitie H.

“The Door” written by Dispater

“Chat” written by Jack

“Facebook Friends” written by Maximilian Porky

“Never Again” written by Unknown

“Tulpa” written by Unknown

“Binary DNA” written by Unknown

“Fuzzy” written by AMB

“Play Something” written by Mr. Zalgopasta

“Portraits” written by Unknown

“Anna” by Hypodroid

“The Vigil” written by Tam Lin

MissShadowLovely:  

“Your Protector” written by Unknown

“Do You Hear the Noises?” written bysuckitbleu77

“Unidentified” written by Mrs. F

“They’re Watching” written by RyRy

“The Street Lamp” written by Zach

“Second Life” written by Kissa

“Cairn” written by Conical

“Survival Guide” written by Unknown

“Daddy’s Little Princess” written by Unknown

“The Intruder” written by Unknown

“Out With a Bang” written by Myth

“A Perfect Pair” written by Unknown

“Kuchisake-Onna” 

“Call Me Tomorrow, Okay?” written by Boudica

“Origin” by Nighthawk

“Branches in the Wind” by Legendd

“My Haunting Past” written by Jack

“Mr. Widemouth” written by perfectcircle35

“The Passenger” written by Mike W.

“The Expressionless” written by T-Jay Lea

“Smiledog” written by Unknown

“The Rasper Book” written by Unknown

“The Piano’s Song” written by Nate C.

“Little Pink Backpack” written by OcularFracture

“No More Sins” written by Vincent V Cava

“Lazy Saturday night” written by Mycool

“Doppelgangers” written by Unknown

“Pale Luna” written by Ed

“The Victoria Kindergarten Project” written by Unknown

“The Crooked Man” written by Unknown

“Red Crayons” written by Unknown

Eden Studios:

“The Black Dog” written by LuckTimeDragon

“The Thief” written by Unknown 

“Mistakes” written by Unknown

“EyeMouth” written by the itch

“The Devil Game” written by InfernalNighmare333

“Unmarked Postage” written by the itch

“A Favor for a Favor” written by Vincent V Cava 

“First One” written by WolfNature

“The Russian Sleep Experiment”

“Joralemon” written by David Grilli (and featuring Lady White Rabbit)

“I Hate New Year’s Eve” written by Matt Dymerski

“I Found a Site Called Love & Piece” written by InvaderLynx

“The Harbinger Experiment” written by Zyon J

“The Police Arrested a Man Covered in Blood” written by Matt Dymerski

“Love” written by Unknown

“The Break Room Incident” written by the itch

“A Demon’s Game” written by InfernalNightmare333

“I Used to be Fearless” written by Unknown

“Failed Rituals” written by Chris Stewart

“Her Name Was Emma” by alackofcoasters

“A Cinderella Story” written by iwantbear

“12 Minutes” written by roboKy

“The Alice Killings” written by BigMouth12349

“Bunk Beds” written by cockney pasta

“Lightning” written by al apalamo

“Stairs” by Jack

“Faulty Wiring” by Hairy Monster Man

“Amy’s Wish” by Max Aaron

“Whimsywood” by Slimebeast

“I Asked My Students to Draw Monsters” written by BORN-IN-2002

“Midnight Dancer” written by Mr. Baubas

“Thank God it’s Over” written by Stealth_Nymph

“A Madman’s Guide to the Unrecommended”by Daniel Zed

“Cryostasis” by Stealth_Nymph

“Missing” by Celtic Cabbot

“The Day the Internet Died” by Skill Flea

“A House in Prague” written by Matt Dymserki

“I Don’t Know What to do” written by Ariel Lowe

“I Like Getting Naked on Cam” written by Olivia White

“The Fear Experiment” written by Muted Vocal

“I Was Born a Week Ago” written by swiftblade93

“Eden Canyon” written by Lupus Creepus

“Robert the Shadow” written by Axeman Cartoons

“The Crawling Man” written by WeAreKyle

“My Plush Kitten Came to Life” written by Christopher Maxim

“It Started as a Leak” written by Ariel Lowe

“Incision” written by Lux Noctis

“The Lonely Stars” written by Shadowswimmer77

“Just a Taste” written by Unknown

“The Crimson Candle” written by Manen Lyset

“The Blood Game” written by Henry Galley

Creeparoni:

“Clever” written by Provider92

“The Messenger Bird” written by Unknown

“Patient Zero” by Garbage Factory

“Hypothermia” written by Garbage Factory

“49, 50″ written by Jet.98

“The Crying Woman” written by EmpyrealInvective

“Not Another Scary Story” written by Temperature Zero

“Sirens” written by GreyOwl

“Maple Drive” written by SuperSatan25

“Gorge” written by Levi Salvos

“Oh Well” written by Garbage Factory

“The Funny Foul-Up of Frantic Falcone” written by K. Banning Kellum

“The Zombie Apocalypse Sucks” written by KillaHawke1

“Coats” written by DarthWeezer1994

“I Met a Maid” written by Atonal Anthem

“Gaze” written by KillaHawke1

“Hang Up” written by Levi Salvos

“The Old TV” written by SloshedTrain

“Food for the Children” written by Mike MacDee

“Bon Bon” written by CrazyWords

“Just Say No” written by supersatan25

The Preservers” written by GreyOwl

“Stereotype” written by supersatan25

“The Salt and Pepper Lady” written by Blacknumber1

“The Wolf and the Child” written by Erebella

“Their Child” written by WanderingRiverDog

“Unbearable” written by GreyOwl

“Injustice” written by JR22

“Gusts and Gales” written by Emeryy

“Last Man Standing” writen by CrtlAltDelete

“The Sound of Quiet” written by WanderingRiverDog

“The Performer” written by Cyanwrites

“Blind Man’s Bluff” written by Unknown

“MK Ultra” written by Unknown

“A Series of Short Films” written by Unknown

“I Remember” written by Dark Scholar

“Frigophobia” written by Levi Salvos

“If That Dress Could Talk” written by BlackNumber1

“Threads” written by ShatteredDream

“Along the Illinois Path” written by Savior Greg

“The Rider” written by NowYouSeeMe993

“Flower Eyes and Needle Teeth” written by Hopefullygoodgramar

“Bringer of Death” written by Cdaley

“The Unpalatable Made Palatable” written by EmpyrealInvective

“Queen Justine and the Cutest Little Shing” written by K. Banning Kellum

“Cherubs” written by KillaHawke1

“Petals” written by Shadowswimmer77

“Joe Montana Saves The Princess” written by K Banning Kellum

“Don’t Know You From Adam” written by EmpyrealInvective

“Secret Bar” written by K. Banning Kellum

“Andeusae Fortunae” written by Chris Bender

“So Much For My Complexion!” Written by Deehizzle

“The Cotton Field” written by Unknown

“Here We Are in Nanking” written by BlackPersephone

“Lust” written by RaydiantWon

“Chago” written be Blacknumber1

“The Library of Eternity” written by Unknown

“Better Films” written by Unknown

“Ole’ Broken Bones Pete” written by BlackNumber1

“Bog of Whispers” written by TheBushAdministration

“The Unkillable Kenny Leonard” written by K. Banning Kellum

“Centralia” by Emeryy

“Flourescent Lights” written by Dubiousdugong

“The House That Death Forgot” written by Josh Parker

“The Blackbird of Chernobyl” written by Unknown

“Masks For Sale” written by Raidra 

“The Deaths of Lela and Raymond Howard” written by Dr, Frank N. Furter

“The Rake” written by Unknown

“Aesthetically Pleasing” written by GreyOwl

“Budget Cinema” written by Cliff Barlow

“Sisters of Mayhem” written by BlackNumber1

“Professionalism” written by Provider92

“The Apoplexy Mirage” written by Austin Bison

“Fat” written by Rinskuro13

“The Raffle” written by GreyOwl

“Regarding Georgie” written by DerpySpaghetti

“Mr. Top Hat” Written by Casualobsession

“Man size in Marble” written by E. Nesbit

“The Narrator” written by SimpleSam

“Just Like Old Times” written by MrDupin

“Your Very Own Robot Clone” written by CrashingCymbals

Lady White Rabbit:

“I Received a Mysterious Package in the Mail” written by Christopher Maxim

Blindness written by danatblair

“A Short Walk on the Beach” written by Unsettling Stories

“My Older Sister” written by Kibalnuzuka

“Anomaly” written by Rembetis

“The Warning” written by K. R. Shann

“Chemical” written by Kilkenny

“I Found My Obituary in the Local Newspaper” written by Marakasa

“The Evening News” written by Human_Gravy

“Your Daily Weather Report” written by John-JPG

2002 Chevy Cavalier written by Vincent V Cava

“The Text Message” written by The Flee!

“Psychosis” written by Matt Dymerski

“Small Talk” written by Rhialto

“Russian Roulette” written by Creepy Pasta Goblin

“Before Turning the Gun on Himself” written by Creepy Pasta Goblin

“Look at Her Eyes” written by Kiriakos Vilchez

“The All-New Improved Universal Beverage and Snack Machine” written by Unknown

“Gateway of the Mind” written by Unknown

“Mr. Mix” written by Unknown

“The Disappearance of Ashley, Kansas” written by Unknown

“Where Bad Kids Go” written by Unknown

“Medication” written by Zach Zeman

“The Pokemon Man” written by Kiriakos Vilchez

“11 Miles” written by Emeryy

“In the Flesh” written by Fear of

“Tune” written by SpydaBarnes

“Black Coffee” by Christian Dives

“I Love My Job” written by Unknown

“Blood Freezing Experiment” written by EvraVon53

“Broadcast Interruption” written by Unknown

“Eyeless Jack” written by Unknown

“Return to Earth” written by Unknown

“An Author and His Subject” written by Jon Book

“Train Ride” by Bex0213

“Your Secret Admirer” written by CreepsMcPasta

“Lightless City” written by KI Simpson

“Growths” written by Unknown

“Happy Puppet Syndrome” written by Unknown

“The Suicide King” written by John

“Blue Kings” written by Unknown

“Define Unconventional” written by Losing My Mind

“House of Rules” written by Unknown

“The Flesh Market” written by The Silicon Lemming

Killswitch written by The Archivist

“The Never Ending Road” written by Unknown

“Toast” 

“Normal Porn For Normal People” written by Cosbydaf

“Implanted” written by Unknown

“Squidward’s Suicide” written by Unknown

“Evaporation” written by Archfeared

“Candle Cove” written by Kris Straub

“Because of You” written by Unknown

“Next Time You’ll Know Better” written by Unknown

“Both My Parents Were Surgeons and I Used to Talk to Furniture” written by Invictus 1988

“The Smiling Man” written by blue_tidal

“Panic” written by Unknown

“Symmetry” written by always_through

“Arizona” written by Unknown

“Forgotten Valentine” by Michael Whitehouse

“Strangest Security Tape I’ve Ever Seen” written by powerhawkmash

“The Woman in the Oven” written by Unknown

“Suicidemouse.avi” written by Unknown

“Autopilot” written by Skarjo

Written AND Performed by Women:

“The Chandelier” written by C.K. Walker and performed by Eden 

“Room 733″ written by C.K. Walker and performed by Eden

“The Disappearance of Ashley Morgan” written by C.K. Walker and performed by Eden 

“Back Against the the Wall” - written and performed by Eden

“Four Hours it Started” by Isis Issa and performed by Eden

“Dark Poetic Sequence” written by Anonymous Girl and performed by Eden

“I Missed You” written and performed by Eden

“Predator” written and performed by Miss Shadow Lovely

“Glimpse” written and performed by Miss Shadow Lovely

“Little Sarah” written by Ashleigh Margaret and performed by Miss Shadow Lovely

“The Weeper” written and performed by Miss Shadow Lovely

“Bath Bomb” written and performed by Miss Shadow Lovely

“I Plan to Delete My Youtube Channel” written by Chloe Duchamp and performed by MissusCreepyPasta

“Lamb Girl” written and performed by CreepyMissusPasta

“The Little Mime Girl” written by GrimNoxPrincess and performed by Creeparoni

“The Blue Bicycle” written and performed by Creeparoni

“Hematite Lake” written and performed by Creeparoni

“Moist” written and performed by Duchess Dark

“Blood Orange” written and performed by Duchess Dark

“Pills” written and performed by Duchess Dark

“Psssst” written and performed by Duchess Dark

Women You Should Follow/Subscribe to:

Eden: Youtube // Tumblr // Facebook // Twitter // Deviantart // Twitch // Instagram // Google +

Lady White Rabbit: Twitter // Facebook // Soundcloud // Google + // Patreon

Miss Shadow Lovely: Website // Twitter // Facebook // Google + // Spreadshirt // Instagram // Patreon

CreepyMissusPasta: Facebook // Twitter // Tumblr // Google + // Instagram

Creeparoni: Website // Facebook // Twitter // Google +

Duchess Dark: Twitter // Facebook // Instagram // Horror Amino

[alexanderkahn]

30 Major League Baseball team names, ranked objectively (from worst to best) by a qualified expert

The Los Angeles Angels: Or, if you happen to speak any Spanish at all: "The The Angels Angels". Good thing nobody in LA speaks any Spanish at all! This is just... this is a turd of a name.

The Philadelphia Phillies: Did the Phillies not know they were supposed to come up with a team name until they got to school the day it was due? Was it because they skipped class the day it was assigned to go smoke a J in their Datsun in the parking lot?

The Arizona Diamondbacks: Hey, you know what baseball needs? A team whose fans call them a name that is aurally indistinguishable from the most irritating thing stupid people call other stupid people.

The Cleveland Indians: Politics aside, I'm not sure naming your team after just a group of regular people is a particularly inspired choice. The Indians apparently earned their nickname when they had a Native American guy on their team, which is like if the Dodgers had renamed themselves the Los Angeles Asian Fellas when they signed Hideo Nomo. And then the name stuck for 120 years. Amazingly, their name before that was the Naps (after a player named Nap, and no I am not making that up), so this was actually, somehow, an improvement. As my lovely wife puts it: "these people are idiots".

The Chicago White Sox: I'm not a huge fan of naming your team after the clothes they wear in general, but white socks in particular is a spectacularly non-distinguishing feature. My dad wears white socks, too. He got them in a pack of 30 at a Sports Authority in 2003.

The Kansas City Royals: Anti-American! There, I said it.

The Atlanta Braves: Solidly only the second most racist name on this list. Nice.

The Oakland Athletics: Disarmingly wholesome, but also so literal it kind of misses the point of having a nickname in the first place.

The St. Louis Cardinals: Would you say that cardinals are from St. Louis? Because Wikipedia says, somewhat more conservatively, that cardinals are from "North and South America". It's fine. It's a fine name--listen, stop badgering me, I said it's fine.

The Colorado Rockies: I think this team maybe got named by somebody who had never actually been to Colorado.

The Tampa Bay Rays: Well, it's better than the Devil Rays.

The Minnesota Twins: OH, BECAUSE YOU PLAY IN THE TWIN CITIES? CUTE!

The Boston Red Sox: Hey, what's with the x in Sox anyway? What is the singular form of sox? Why do I give a shit what color your sox are? How has no one thought of a better name in 110 years?

The Washington Nationals: There's just nothing going on here. Pass.

The San Francisco Giants: Yes, fine, Giants, that seems fine. Personally I'm not sure this whole "base ball" thing is going to take off, anyway.

The Toronto Blue Jays: Thank you for going one tiny step further than "Blue Sox" (looking at you, Butler, Holyoke, Sydney, and Leicester)

The Cincinnati Reds: It's an OK name, but I'd like it better if they had game every once in a while where they dismantled the bourgeouis state apparatus or abolished religion or something

The Seattle Mariners: OK, yeah, it's a sea thing. Seattle is next to the sea! This is all hanging together nicely.

The Los Angeles Dodgers: started life as the New York Trolley-Dodgers, which I love. It's a name that makes no claims about its players other than a general wiliness that is probably offset by the (somewhat alarming) negligence required to keep getting in the paths of moving trolleys in the first place. But Los Angeles has no trolleys to dodge, and how are you going to dodge from inside a of a grid-locked car anyway? I give this name a B-.

The San Diego Padres: Has something to say about San Diego, shortens to the Dads which is among the silliest nickname in sports. Not terrible!

The Detroit Tigers: Sure, why not! Tigers are cool, I suppose.

The Baltimore Orioles: The best of the tiny-bird names, but why are so many teams named after tiny birds? This is a real question. Please email me with any pertinent information.

The New York Mets: conjures up visions of guys in cleats and pinstripes taking in the opera or discussing Proust between bites of caviar and champagne. I did a little research and it turns out that's exactly what the Mets do in their off-time.

The Miami Marlins: A marlin sounds like it could conceivably kill you, so this name is pretty much has it all.

The Milwaukee Brewers: The only two things I know about Milwaukee are that Hamm's is from there and Laverne and Shirley worked at a bottling plant (???). Those are both beer things, and Brewers is a beer thing, and you drink beer at baseball games, so we're firing on all cylinders now.

The New York Yankees: I hate to admit it, but this is a good name for a baseball team.

The Pittsburgh Pirates: Oh, shit, pirates are rad! Hell yes I would like to root for some pirates. We're talking, like, adventure book pirates here, right? Not the guys who murder people and put Eat Pray Love on the Internet before it's even out on DVD.

The Texas Rangers: Unique team name: ✔︎. specifically from the area they play for: ✔︎. Totally badass: ✔︎. Makes me think about Chuck Norris: Yeah, but I try not to hold that against them.

The Chicago Cubs: Chicago chose to name their team not after a ferocious predator, but after the baby version of a ferocious predator, and I think that's had a lot to do with why their fans' optimism is so durable. Every time the Cubs blow it in the post-season, you can almost hear David Attenborough say "well, there's always next year" while a baby grizzly slides off a log face-first into a stream or something, and how can you not be a fan of that?

The Houston Astros: were founded as an expansion team in 1962 as the Houston Colt .45s (the gun, not the beer, not that that's a hell of a lot better). In '65, they realized that: A) Houston is full of spaceship pilots and engineers; B) old-timey guns are stupid compared to spaceships; C) we're in the middle of the God Damned space race and we're gonna put a man on the moon and the commie bastards in the USSR can go to hell. That last reason isn't as compelling anymore, but spaceships are cool as hell and spaceship nerds who calculate delta-v and wear pocket protectors are cool as hell. Astros win.