#something ive wanted to draw for a very long time and. it finally felt like the right time i guess uwu

[lunarharp]

wip thing...

of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)

they mean the world to me

[nahoney22]

Hello! I absolutely love love LOVE your work. I be rereading on here and on Ao3 and your writing is just phenomenal!! I wanted to know if I can please request an NSFW fem reader x Hunter.

Reader is mad or annoyed with “The Great Sergeant of clone force 99” always on top of her ever since she joined the batch like how she almost got injured but it was only Hunter’s overprotectiveness that might have been the problem and at some point they get in to a really heated argument on the Marauder where she wants to leave the batch and Hunter will be glad because he doesn’t have to look after someone…. until something snaps between them and all hell breaks loose. Even hidden feelings are let loose lol. Also, there’s this song that I picture it with for some reason. It’s “when you coming to see me?” by Mawr if you wanna take listen :).

Anyways, again I love your work and ive never requested something to anyone before so idk if the request is well written and/or too long😅 but i know you can execute it so well if you decide on accepting my request. Thank you!!!! ♥️♥️♥️

Later’s Better Than Never*** 🌊

🫧 Pairings: Hunter x Female!Reader

word count: 3.6k

prompts: none

When tensions finally reaching breaking point, your need to leave becomes evident. Hunter however makes it harder than it should be.

warnings: NSFW, 18+ only. Female reader, explicit sexual content and language, dirty talk, light dom!Hunter, very light breathplay ie choking, fingering, finger sucking, cum eating, oral ie blowjob, p in v sex, enemies to lovers, mutual pining, love confessions, Hunter is overprotective, light angst, arguing, not proofread.

authors note: Sorry for the wait my lovely @lamiliani, enjoy, I hope this is okay! 🩵

Hunter had been unbearable since the mission briefing.

The plan was straightforward: infiltrate a high-stakes gala, seduce the host, and extract crucial information about a new Imperial weapon. The client you were working for had specifically chosen you for this task after witnessing your charisma and capability. The rest of the squad respected and trusted you, but a certain Sergeant seemed determined to undermine your confidence at every turn.

"Remember, stick to the plan," Hunter ordered for what felt like the hundredth time as you adjusted your attire in the Marauder. The sleek dress you wore was perfect for the gala, accentuating your figure in a way that was both elegant and seductive. Which was a total change considering your normal attire of battered and worn armour and civvies that were desperate for a good wash.

You sighed, your patience wearing thin. "I know the plan, Hunter," you retorted, turning to face him. The frustration in your voice was evident.

Hunter's eyes bore into yours, a mix of concern and frustration etched into his features. His jaw was set, the muscles in his neck tense. "One slip-up, and it could all go wrong. We can’t afford that."

You narrowed your eyes, knowing he was referring to the time when the plan had not gone exactly as intended. It had been a life-or-death situation, but you had learned from it. Besides, the only person you had put in danger was yourself, so you didn’t understand why he was still bitter about it.

"That 'slip-up' was months ago," you shot back, your temper flaring. "I’ve proven myself since then."

"I’ll believe it when I see it." Hunter’s tone was cold as he stormed off into the cockpit, leaving you staring daggers at his back. How insufferable could one man be?

You took a deep breath, trying not to let it get to you. You mentally and physically prepared yourself, going over the plan in your head with determination. You had this.

It was just a shame someone else didn’t think so.

The gala was in full swing. You slipped into the crowd as planned, your eyes on the target. You were enticing and seductive as you engaged him in conversation, your charm drawing him in instantly. Everything was going according to plan as he began to let slip his plans.

Then Hunter appeared.

His sudden arrival, a shadow in the background, disrupted your focus. The target noticed your concerned distraction, suspicion flickering in his eyes. Before you could salvage the situation, a gentle hand on his arm to draw his attention back to you, his arm wrapped around your neck into a chokehold as alarms started to blare, and chaos erupted.

Cursing under your breath, you freed yourself with ease and struck a punch straight to his gut before ducking to cover as blaster fire whizzed past your head. Everything happened so fast and so slow at the same time. You barely managed to escape with the others, the mission a total failure. And this time, you refused to let it be seen as your fault.

Back on the Marauder, you let everything out. You marched up the gangplank, ripping the bangles off your wrists and the pins that had secured your hair in place, tossing them across the ship carelessly. You let everyone file in, steam practically blowing out of your ears as your eyes landed on the Sergeant.

"What is your problem? Why can’t you trust me?" you yelled as soon as the ramp closed behind you, your voice echoing through the ship. Your chest heaved with the effort of keeping your anger in check, your hands trembling slightly.

"You weren’t getting the job done!" Hunter growled, his tone dripping with frustration. His eyes were dark, his brows furrowed in anger. "You just stood there twirling your drink around all night."

You stared at him in disbelief, looking to the others who avoided eye contact at all costs. "I wasn’t doing anything? Hunter, he was about to tell me his plans, and then you just swooped in like you have some damn savior complex."

His jaw tightened, the tension in the air thick enough to cut. "Maybe if you weren’t so reckless in the past, I could have let you get on with it."

"The client wanted me to do it. I wasn’t being reckless!" You seethed, turning red in the face. Your fists clenched at your sides, nails digging into your palms. "One mistake, Hunter! Just one!" You stepped closer, your voice low and dangerous. "How many times do I have to prove myself?"

Hunter’s eyes narrowed, his fists just as tightly clenched as his jaw. His breath came in short, sharp bursts. "You don’t get it, do you? One mistake is all it takes to get you killed."

His words cut deep, a mixture of anger and hurt swirling within you. Your heart pounded, each beat echoing your frustration and the feeling of being made to feel useless. Your entire body felt like it was on fire, a mix of rage and something more primal simmering just beneath the surface.

"Guys, stop it!" Omega’s voice trembled, her distress clear. Her eyes were wide, shimmering with unshed tears.

Echo placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Let’s give them some space," he said softly, leading her towards the exit with Tech and Wrecker following. "They need to sort this out." He looked at both of you with a stern gaze before he left.

As the door closed, sealing you in the Marauder alone with Hunter, silence fell.

Finally, you both started to speak at once, voices overlapping. Hunter gestured for you to go ahead, his expression begrudging.

"I’m tired of this, Hunter," you began, your voice steady despite the storm inside you that was waiting to tear this ship apart. "Tired of you treating me like I’m not good enough. If this is how it’s going to be, maybe I should leave."

Something flickered in his eyes—hurt, anger, maybe something more—but he masked it quickly. "Maybe you should go," he said, his voice rough. His expression was a mixture of frustration and something else, something softer. "I am done having to watch over you, babysitting you."

You scoffed at him, shaking your head in disbelief. "Has it ever come to your attention that maybe you’re the problem?" You pointed at his chest, your finger almost digging into the fabric of his shirt. "You’re weighing this whole team down recently, and I want to know why."

"There’s nothing wrong with my leadership," he snapped back, his voice sharp. But as he spoke, the space between you seemed to shrink. You were close, so close. His breath was hot on your skin. "You just don’t know how to be careful."

Your heart raced, the anger giving way to a heated flush spreading through your body. The proximity was intoxicating, his scent, his presence overwhelming your senses. You could feel the tension morphing into something you never thought you’d feel.

His breath was on your skin, his presence overwhelming. "Say the word, Hunter," you challenged, voice low into a whisper. "And I’ll go."

He didn’t move, didn’t speak. His pupils were blown the more you looked at each other, breathing shallow. You watched his throat work as he swallowed hard, struggling to find his voice.

Your hands rested on the underside of the console, securing you in place as you were practically backed up into it. And confusingly, you were a different type of riled up.

Then, you saw him wet his lower lip, just a touch that made your heart momentarily stop. And he noticed—he noticed. And he smirked. Of course he would; his heightened senses would be picking up on everything—the quickening of your pulse, the heat pooling between your thighs. You sincerely hoped he didn’t notice.

"Hunter," you spoke louder and hopefully more sternly, but the slight tremble in your tone begged to differ. "Tell me you want me to go."

His eyes momentarily closed, conflict spreading across his features. "Tell me to go," you whispered again, but again came no reply.

You waited for a few more moments before you found yourself laughing, almost pitifully. For yourself, and for him. "I don’t have time for this," you grumbled and turned to move away from him, but there was a sudden hold on your arm, stopping you completely.

Your gaze snapped back to him, eyes wide. His, however, flickered down your body, lingering, then met yours again, blazing with an intensity that made your heart stop once more. The silence stretched, electric, until you could bear it no longer. "Hunter?" you whispered.

Suddenly, he pulled you closer, body flush against his and his lips just inches from yours. With a soft murmur, voice hoarse, he said, "Don’t go."

Your breath hitched, your body responding to the unspoken desire in his words. The bitterness, the anger, it all melted away, leaving only a new and raw need. You both closed the gap, lips crashing together in a fierce, desperate kiss.

His hands roamed your body, finding their way to the small of your back while your hands tangled in his hair, running and tugging the textured locks through your fingers. You gasped as he pulled you even closer than before, his body pressing you back to the control panel. The heat of his touch pushed shivers of excitement down your spine. How was this happening? And why didn’t it feel wrong?

Hunter pulled back just enough to mutter against your lips, “I’ve always cared. More than I should.”

You met his gaze, seeing the vulnerability there, and whispered, “Then show me.”

His response was immediate and fervent. Hunter lifted you effortlessly, placing you onto the console before his strong hands slipped under your dress, his touch rough and impatient, yet undeniably thrilling. His fingers traced the length of your legs, caressing your thighs and emitting electric jolts of desire through you.

"You were so worked up when we were arguing," he muttered, his voice low and gravelly. "I could smell how wet you were for me."

You were speechless. Then, you gasped as his fingers trailed further up, hiking your dress higher until his hands cupped your sex. The realisation that you were bare beneath the dress, no panties to obstruct his touch made him breathless.

"Fuck," he breathed shakily, his fingers slipping between your folds, feeling the slickness there. "No panties? That’s… that’s so sexy of you." He purrs, gauging your reaction as he brushes a thumb over your clit. “And you’re so wet.”

Your breath hitched, a moan escaping your lips as he began to explore you. His fingers moved expertly, teasing your entrance before slipping inside. You arched into him, your body responding eagerly to his touch. “H-Hunter!”

"Is this what you wanted?" he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. "To be fucked by me?"

You could only nod, biting your lip hard as your voice lost to the sensations overwhelming you. His fingers thrust in and out of you, his thumb circling your clit with an agonisingly beautiful precision. “Mmm, you like this don’t you? You feel beautiful.” The pleasure builds quickly, a coil of heat tightening in your core.

“I love it, Hunter.” You gasp. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

Hunter’s other hand gripped your hip, holding you in place as he worked you towards the edge. "So tight around my fingers."

You whimpered, your hands clutching at his shoulders, desperate for more as your body shakes. His pace quickened, his fingers curling inside you to hit that perfect spot that made you see stars. Your body trembled, the pleasure almost too much to bear.

"That’s it," he growled, his voice a rough caress as his lips breathe down your neck. "Come for me. I know you can do it. Come all over my fingers, baby girl.”

With a final, desperate cry, you shattered. His fingers, the pace, his pet names, everything makes your climax crash over you in throbbing waves. Hunter didn’t stop though; his fingers continued their relentless thrash on your clit, prolonging your pleasure until you were a quivering mess, your juices pouring down your thighs.

When he finally pulled his fingers from you, they were slick with your cum. His gaze locked with yours, dazed and in awe as you watched as he brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean with a greedy hunger. The sight of him, the feel of his lips around his fingers, sent another jolt of arousal through you. “You l-look good doing that,” you say bashfully, even more so as he collected more on the fingers he just sucked and placed them flat against his tongue, groaning desperately.

"You taste incredible," he murmured, his eyes dark and hungry. "I never thought someone could taste so sweet."

Without another word, he sank to his knees before you, spreading your legs wider to grant him better access as he pushed your dress up again. The sight of him there, between your thighs, was definitely a sight to behold.

His hands grip your hips, pulling you to the edge of the console. His breath was hot against your swollen folds, making you shudder in eagerness. "I want to taste you again," he smirks, his tone low and gravelly. "I want you to come on my tongue."

“Take me, Hunter, it’s all yours.” The first swipe of his tongue was both a shock and a relief. You gasped, your hands flying to his hair, gripping the locks to hold him in place.

"Hunter," you moaned, your voice trembling. "Oh, fuck."

His tongue moved with a desperate hunger, lapping at your folds and circling your clit with a precision that made you writhe. He groaned against you, the vibrations adding to the intense pleasure building inside you. “I love hearing you swear… such a dirty mouth.”

Your hips bucked involuntarily, seeking more of his mouth, more of that intense sensation. Hunter’s grip on your hips tightened, almost bruising as holds you steady as literally he devoured you. He alternated between long, slow licks and rapid, flicking movements that had you teetering on the edge of another orgasm. The sounds he made—groans, grunts, and the slick noises of his mouth on your wetness—only heightened the moment as you matched his sounds with tender moans of your own.

You tugged at his hair, needing him closer, deeper. "Don’t stop," you pleaded, your voice breathless and desperate as you begin to roll your hips against his face. "Please, don’t stop."

He didn’t. If anything, your words spurred him on, his tongue working even more fervently. He sucked on your clit, gently at first, then harder, drawing it into his mouth and flicking his tongue over it before plunging his finger into you for that extra push. Your entire body tensed, the pleasure coiling tighter and tighter until it was almost unbearable.

You cried out, your nails digging into his scalp as you came again, the orgasm crashing over you with a force that left you shaking, more so than before.

Slowly, he pulled back from your cunt, his lips glistening with your aftermath. He looked up at you, his eyes blown and satisfied. "Stars, I can’t get enough of you… I’ve dreamt about being between your legs.”

His words surprised you, wondering if he was just saying it in the heat of the moment or if he was saying the truth but for now, you could only nod, still trying to catch your breath. Your body hummed with satisfaction, every nerve ending still tingling from the intensity of your release. Hunter stood, his hands sliding up your thighs to rest on your hips.

"You’re amazing," he murmured, leaning in to kiss you again. This time, the kiss was slow, languid, his tongue tracing the seam of your lips, sharing your taste between you. You sighed into the kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck to pull him closer.

When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, both of you breathing heavily. "I’ve wanted this for so long," he confessed, his voice a soft rumble.

“But… I thought you didn’t want me.” You whisper against his lips, eyes closed as you try to get your head around everything.

He sighs, shaking his head slowly. “I’ve been pushing you away because… I couldn’t imagine if anything bad were to happen to you.”

“You’ve been cruel to me,” you reiterate, a little bitter as you pull your head back, “but you…” you piece it all together, his obvious jealousy of you and that guy tonight, his toughness of overprotectiveness. He cared. In a bad way. But alas, he cared. And a part of you always wanted him. You were just too determined never to admit it.

“I’m sorry,” he says with honesty, his hands leaving your hips to take a hold of each of your hands, “I really am.”

You search his face, coming to your conclusion. Hunter's eyes blazed with need as you gently pushed him back. At first he thought you were going to push him away completely, telling him this was a mistake but then, you dropped to your knees before him.

Hunter's eyes widened in surprise but then glowed with hunger while your hands were steady, moving to his belt, undoing it. With your voice husky with desire, you whisper. "Let me?”

He nodded, swallowing hard. You freed his hardened cock from the confines of his pants, the sight of it making your mouth water instantly. “You have such a beautiful cock,” you say sweetly, giving it an experimental pump. You leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the tip, tasting the precum that had already gathered there from earlier antics.

Hunter groaned, his hands finding their way into your hair, gently guiding you. "Fuck, you’re beautiful," he muttered, his voice thick with need.

You took him into your mouth, your tongue swirling around the head before taking him deeper. His grip on your hair tightened, and you could feel the tension in his body, the restraint he was barely managing to hold onto. You hollowed your cheeks, sucking him in deeper, your tongue tracing the vein along the underside of his shaft.

“Fuck,” he hissed, his head falling back, exposing his throat. You glanced up, taking in the sight of him—the way his lips parted, the way his eyes fluttered shut in pleasure. It spurred you on. It made you want to give him everything.

You started a steady rhythm, bobbing your head up and down his length, taking him as deep as you could. Each time you pulled back, you flicked your tongue over the sensitive tip, making him shudder. You could feel his control slipping, his hips starting to thrust gently into your mouth.

“Just like that,” he groaned, his voice ragged. “You’re so good at this.” His free hand grasps your jaw, holding your head in place as his gentle thrusts become more eager. “That’s it baby.”

His words sent a thrill through you, and you doubled your efforts, sucking him harder, faster and matching his thrusts. You reached up, cupping his balls and rolling them gently in your hand, feeling his body respond to your touch. His breathing grew more ragged, his grip on your hair tighter. Soon his hand on your jaw moved to your throat, chuckling as he practically felt the way your throat contracts and tightens with every time he moves in and out of your mouth.

“Stars, you’re amazing,” he panted. “Keep going, keep going.”

But then he pulled you back, his cock slipping from your lips with a wet pop. He was breathing hard, his eyes wild with need. “I can’t… I need you,” he growled, pulling you up to your feet.

You barely had time to register what was happening before he was lifting you, your back pressed against the console again but with your dress being ripped away from your body. He spread your thighs, and then he was there, his cock pressing against your entrance.

He slid into you in one smooth thrust, burying himself to the hilt. The sensation of him filling you completely made you cry out, your breathing harsh. “Hunter,” you gasped, your voice trembling.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned, his hips starting a relentless rhythm. “Such a nice pussy, so perfect.”

He moved with a desperation that matched your own, each thrust deep and hard, hitting that perfect spot inside you. You start to grin, never having been so fucked desperately in all your life. He was disheveled, panting your name like a man starved as his cock sinks deep into you. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, needing more. A lot more. “You’re fucking me so good, Hunter! D-don’t stop.”

“You’re mine,” he growled, his lips brushing against your ear. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

His sudden words sent you over the edge, your body tensing as another orgasm ripped through you. You cried out his name, your nails dragging down his back, leaving marks and claiming him.

“Yes, come for me,” he urged, his thrusts growing more erratic. “I want to feel you come around my cock.”

You did, your body spasming around him, milking him. His grip on your hips tightened, his own release imminent. He buried his face in your neck, his breath hot against your skin. “I’m going to fill you up,” he panted. With a final, deep thrust, he came, his body shuddering against yours. You held him close, your own body still trembling from the intensity of your orgasm. He stayed there, buried deep inside you, his breath slowly evening out.

“I love you,” he whispered again, his voice softer now, more tender.

You smiled, your hands gently caressing his back as you both succumbed to the evening. “I love you too.”

Tags: @lulalovez @photogirl894 @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @temple-elder r @mysticalgalaxysalad @yunggoblin @imalovernotahater @sithstrings @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari i @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi

@greaser-wolf @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420

@ladyzirkonia @thesith @raevulsix @cw80831 1 @knightprincess @crosshairlovebot @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @jesseeka a @theroguesully @ladykatakuri @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87 @ezras-left-thumb @the-rain-on-kamino

[choccy-milky]

Status update on the dark relic nsfw comic please ma'am 🙏 my family is dying

ITS DONE!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉...well, the DRAWING part is as of yesterday BAHAHA. now im just adding all the dialogue/speech bubbles/sfx, SO ITS DEFINITELY GONNA BE SOON!! DEFS BY THIS WEEKEND!! ive just been very nitpicky on the font which i cant decide on LMAO and im also nitpicky abt other final touches LOL. i didnt wanna show anymore cuz ive already shown so much but HERES THE FINAL SNEAK PEEK

and speaking of fonts, i normally use handwriting by jeremy paz!

oh man its so random, but i either use the name lumi or clora for everything whenever i play rpgs (baldurs gate 3, dragon age, you name it) and clora originated from rune factory 4 LOL. theres a character named 'clorica' and i really liked that name, it sounds so elegant and fantasy ish, so i eventually just shortened it to clora bahaha. now its my go-to. i like how simple it is but it also sounds unique and works in modern AND fantasy settings, imo

my first and ONLY playthrough was as clora! i originally did try to make myself at the start, but i have short brown hair and straight across bangs, and they didnt have a style that felt 'me', so i went with just making a ravenclaw that i liked, and then gave her my go-to name of clora HAHA. and yea, i built up her and sebs relationship in my head as i was playing, especially with all the running around the castle i did. i just liked to imagine her constantly out of breath and flushed and seb just watching like ....🧍girl chill...

AND SPEAKING OF MY DARK RELIC COMIC/SMUT, my biggest advice for writing smut id say is to have a reasoning behind it, i guess? i focus a lot on their headspace/WHY they're fucking at that moment when i write it LOL instead of just the movements/sex for the sake of sex. in your case, the sexual tension leading up to the first time gives you SO much to work with, since you can just be in his head with how much hes looking forward to it, how much hes savouring it, how he's also nervous but enjoying it and trusting the other person, etc. the thoughts are hotter than the actual deed a lot of the times (which is why when clora and seb did it for the first time it ended up being like, 15k words of just foreplay and build up from sebs perspective LMAOO) so yeah id just try to focus on their emotions and desires if you can! and a lot of the times with consent stuff it CAN feel forced, and you dont even really need your characters to talk about that stuff verbally, at least not too much. you can do it in body language, or just something as simple as 'ill stop if you want'. it doesnt have to be a long therapist-like conversation about consent, which CAN tend to sound a little awkward and unrealistic (esp in the heat of the moment), if thats the problem you're having. HOPE I COULD HELP

also i love this for you and for me. YES GO ON AND MAKE A BUNCH OF CLORA CLONES, I COMMAND IT👉👉👉

and last but not least the most important question. honestly i like plain sweets a lot with no icing/filling. im a slut for shortbread cookies and also just plain glazed donuts. and also custard/portugese/egg tarts, which i also forced clora to like in my fic HAHA. IF YOU HAVENT HAD THEM YOU HAVE TO, THEYRE SO GOOD😩😩💖💖

[the5thcellar]

I actually think Luke is serious about A. That age gap is typically what men marry these days. I think he's crazy about her and was taking it slow after a long term break up before going official. That shows intention, planning, and wanting her. I wouldn't be surprised the official IG couple post is coming soon.

I'm just upset that they took it this far with promo. Tom and Z were meeting each other's family outside of work early on, so to say you are officially brining him to meet the fame was a bit much. Closing your eyes when she touches your face? Grade A acting. I hate that it makes me believe he was never attracted to an amazing woman like Nicola. I feel dumb for falling for it all. I hope Nicola finds a handsome guy who will love her proudly.

that's a really interesting take tbh! ive actually never considered he was serious about her in the sense of marrying - but of course this is purely based off the vibes I get and is entirely my own view.

one of the reasons i say this is because luke doesn't seem too inclined to keep a completely friendly distance between himself and nic - i heard that the QC leads india and corey were shipped really hard by fans as well and he had a gf during the whole press run - and towards the end india and corey started posing separately on carpets (i.e. no touching, no friendly hand around shoulder even during photos etc) because they wanted to emphasise that they were really just friends.

luke in contrast seems to have no qualms about blurring lines - and one of the reasons the more rabid fans kept insulting Antonia was a direct result of the fact that he kept stating his "single" status to press. I think he could have helped Antonia avoid a lot of the flak she drew by just stating that he's seeing someone. but maybe he felt it would draw even more attention to his private life and her? idk. i don't want to puzzle over his motivations because I don't believe they are too complex - I've said this many times before and I'll keep saying it - no matter how good a man seems (and I do believe Luke is very good and sweet), trying to justify anything they do is still a sure path to disappointment.

more importantly: please don't feel dumb for falling for the hope that nic and luke could be together! i really don't think they were being deliberately disingenuous - i actually think the opposite - i think they themselves are often confused about what they really are and it's just easier to define it as being great friends. it's strange but i get the feeling that they see each other as a source of potential - it's simultaneously impossible and also the easiest thing in the world for them to envision a reality where they're together - there just seems to be many barriers to it happening for real. they're comfortable living in the liminal space between great friendship and great romantic love - it definitely explains why nic said she doesn't have a relationship in her life that's anything close to what she has with luke. I think there just needs to be a decisive push for them to ever move out of this grey area. it'll have to be something massive for it to ever happen... and it's not something I hold out hope for (again, just to avoid disappointment!)

this got really long; I wish nic and luke all the best and I think they have something very special with each other. I think life has many many stops along the way and I don't think luke has found a final stop in his romantic journey with antonia - they are both very young and they don't have the vibe of "together forever" couples - if they did (since luke is such a big believer in love at first sight) - he'd have laid down a commitment a lot sooner.

again I want to emphasise that this is all MY POV - it's the vibe I get. I'm WELL AWARE I don't know these people irl. There's always criticism of how parasocial fandom and stan behaviour are but I think most fans - myself included - are very conscious of the fact that the way we perceive and interact with celebs is completely one sided. I'm also not a psychic or clairvoyant or anything of the sort. i just strangely feel a lot of things all the time and ive never been chill a day in my life 😂

sending you lots of good feelings and healing - I feel your hurt and unease and disappointment because I feel the same, but it gets easier to accept with each day that passes.

[tapesfrom1980]

can u do dating sean headcanons? and if u could keep it gender neutral-ish i would appreciate thank u <33

dating sean diaz would include..

IVE NEVER GOTTEN AN ASK/REQUEST THIS IS SO EXCITING YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME THANK YOU ENJOY <33333

-either frenemies to lovers or he just thought you were hot and you rejected him multiple times till you gave in a longgg time later and he never gave up <3

-definitely a bestfriends type of relationship, he’s very comfortable with you and he knows he can make jokes with you without worrying about hurting you

-he’s lowkey awkward at first just because he hasn’t really had real?? experience with relationships before but he’s so excited to finally have you he goes all out if he can

-he’ll get you concert tickets for one of your favorite artists and be like “just because I love you 😘”

-sometimes it’ll be estebans money too and if he gets caught he’ll yell at sean but make sure to say “it’s not your fault though y/n you did nothing wrong” and go back to scolding

-he didn’t know when to drop the L bomb since he’s never felt that way with someone and didn’t know when it was the right time to say it

-he eventually said it mid-argument and there was a lot of making out after that

-getting sketches of yourself that he drew basically everyday

-he draws you at the most random times, bummy looking or not

-his favorite is the one he did while you danced around his room to your favorite song

-he always draws you as an absolute angel and has some hung up

-even just in his school notebooks his doodling always goes to your face so a lot of his homework or quizzes have your face in some corner with little hearts around it

-daniel tries drawing you too, and you take some home with you even if it’s just you with a deformed blue face and wonky yellow eyes

-being ABSOLUTE besties with daniel

-sean tries to act like he hates sharing your attention but you know he likes that you love daniel as much as he does

-sometimes you’ll come early to the diaz house just to hang out with daniel

-“y/n? how long have you been here why didn’t you wake me up?”

-“daniel called me to help him with his new batman lego set”

-“…”

-he sometimes joins in your guys’s dates and sean tries kicking him out everytime

-being super close with esteban too

-he’s happy sean found someone who’s good for him and pushes him to be a better person

-gossiping with him while he’s working on a car

-usually it’s when sean is busy or you’re just annoyed at him

-“oh y/n, whatd he do now?”

-sometimes even while sean is in the room

-“i’m still here guys”

-weekly movie dates!!! drive ins or sneaking into the theater (sean says 15 bucks just to watch a movie is outrageous)

-getting him to listen to your favorite artists/bands

-sometimes he’ll pretend to hate it if it’s a genre he’d never listen to but you can see him trying not to drum his fingers or bop his head

-dragging him to every school event

-matching halloween costumes always

-if he wants to do a character you don’t know you’ll still match him for his sake vice versa

-if you have a pet he’ll probably try his hardest to befriend it even if he’s lowkey scared at first

-he’ll get jokingly jealous about you and your pet saying how you don’t give HIM that much love

-speaking of jealousy, he’s def the jealous type

-he’ll try to hide it but then say something petty to you or the person making him jealous

-“that wasn’t even that funny 😐”

-“you guys should go to that restaurant you’ve been talking so much about together”

-“sean 😒”

-lyla!!!!

-as both of sean’s bestfriends you guys are really close too

-“he will never get between us y/n.✊”

-lyla joking about how she has to third wheel even tho she’s absolutely happy you guys are together

-sean and lyla fighting over you

-“i don’t care if you and y/n are dating. i’m still the favorite. right y/n??? right??”

-making sure to include her at some point on valentine’s day too even if she pretends to hate it

-arcade dates & picnics <3

-sleepovers!!!!!!! always so much fun

-sometimes you’ll just lay in bed listening to music and it’s one of the most special moments together

WITH STORY PLOT

-you were with them minutes before that had happened, but you went to go pick up your guys’s food from the deli near the house

-you came back to esteban on the floor, the crashed cop car, and no sean and daniel

-you were so in shock nothing came out your mouth for a while

-once your brain processed what was happening you yelled around the house for sean and daniel

-you screamed and screamed till the other cops got to the scene

-even then you kept calling for the boys

-you didn’t know what to do with yourself you’d just seen your boyfriends dad dead on the floor and your boyfriend and his little brother missing

-when the cops explained what happened you were so disgusted about how the situation was handled and how sean had been blamed

-you knew sean and daniel, you knew sean and you knew the story was mixed up and the diaz boys were blamed obviously due to racism

-you never gave up looking for them, you went into the woods and everything

-you were looked down upon, even by your own parents, because it looked like you were supporting a “criminal”

-when sean finally called, you were so happy you bawled the entire time

-you were so so relieved he and daniel were alright

-you understood why he couldn’t tell you where they were or why he wouldn’t be able to call again

-he also didn’t tell you their location because he knew you’d try coming to them, he really did know your love for them both

-with one last goodbye and i love you, that was the last time you talked to sean

if you ran with them

-sean 100% didn’t want you to come with them

-you were in the house when it happened but you rushed outside, but the cop didn’t see you

-he knew that if you went with them you couldn’t come back without being taken in to custody as you were now an accomplice to them, things would never be the same and he couldn’t ask you to do that for him and daniel

-“y/n please, stay here” he was already in tears and his voice was cracking but you refused

-instead, you took your bag with more supplies and stuff that was already in visible view that you knew would be helpful for whatever situation you guys were going to be in

-“i don’t know why you’d think i’d leave you sean”

-you also knew even with the rush of adrenaline you were having what you were giving up

-you were giving up your family, your friends, and a normal life

-but you had been with sean for a long time and you knew you were never gonna leave him to fend for him and daniel in who knows where

-you never complained, even with the bad circumstances

-you helped the boys ration supplies and find shelter in the woods

-sean felt so much better with you there, so did daniel

-they both felt guilty for being glad you came with them

-they knew you left a whole life behind and felt like they took that from you, even if it wasn’t their fault

-but it was your choice and you didn’t regret it even in the worst moments, and you always reminded them both of that, no matter what the ending was

[bisquuet]

hi! still alive! AN UPDATE: LONG READ :D no new devlin content since im focusing on my oc comic :( ( speaking of comics. remember that other comic i posted here like once and never talked about it again?? yeah.. ) - lets talk about that. will i ever go back to that comic? -yes, when? i don't know.. i realized i went into the comic very.. unprepared.. or less prepared than i thought i was. so it got me second guessing things and getting confused..!! i have a VAGUE idea of how I want it to go, or atleast i DID, now im not so sure.. I think i need to sit down, splurge out my thoughts and ideas and go from there,, now i technically have a WHOLE post that is done that was supposed to be dropped shortly after the first one. but i thought to myself, oh ill just work on the next update and once im halfway THEN ill drop the second one! i never got halfway. i ended up just sketching more up ahead and adjusting and ''fixing'' things in the second update. making me loose track of time and getting behind, not only i had school to deal with too! so i just have a LOT of storyboarding of pages...that im slighlty afraid of looking at cuz i know that ill want to fix it but ill be unmotivated to actually fix it.. (bad rawr!!) eventually i have to get to it..!! >< ANOTHER major factor of the delay was my confidence, i wasn't satisifed and even frustrated at times when something didnt come out as good as it did in my head. i REALLY like the first update pages! especially devlins scene! but i think i got too ahead of myself and put WAY too much onto my plate, raising expections, of others and myself, mostly myself.... and I was trying to copy to a manga style, rather than convert my style normally into a manga setting, if that makes any sense. so i wasnt.... 'comfortable' drawing.. i dont know how else to describe it! but ever since then and even before, ive been getting less confident with my art and my style, feeling like its ugly or its getting worse. forcing myself to keep drawing, straining myself trying to make something that looks good to me. i have lots of fun and joy drawing for others, the reason i draw is BECUZ i just want to share what i make! as shallow as it sounds i like creating content for others to enjoy! it makes me happy and proud of what i draw! so. when i make something i dont like, i cant bring myself to show it cuz I dont like it.. others may, but that wouldnt change how i would feel about it. i felt that way deeply with the second update, which is why i kept tweaking it,,, and so I just let myself get caught up with other things.. feeling upset and guilty that I kinda just.. abandonded the comic..! saying that ill pracitce and oh ill do that , i Need to do this and this and this when i havent even done ANYTHING! i think, and i genuinely mean this, i think ive only recently started to ACTUALLY do things.! like development for my OC comic, writing for it, making content and sharing about them to whoever would lend an ear! so in a way the seewar comic walked so that my OC comic could run, hopefully.. so, unfortunately ill be focsuing more of my attention on my OC comic, and i honestly can't promise anything. the only thing i CAN say is that i will share the second update that i finished long ago.., no matter how much internal rawr doesnt want to, i feel like thats the first step to overcoming this fear and dread ive associate with the comic, which is something i DONT want. ill be scheudling to drop this weekend since ill be away.. i dont know when ill actively start working on the seewar comic again becuz i genuinely want to finish it and share it, i just have to not be too ambitious and plan out whats necessary. anyways.. now that school is out im finally paying all of my debts and owed art.. its rough but it has to be done. thanks if you have read all of this,, i greatly appreacite the support, from friends and followers, fossils, (thats what my fans are called wink wink) love yall fr <3

[yan-may-fire]

ive struggled with art block for years and feel very discouraged because im already 19 and feel really behind so many people. im really stuck and dont really know what to do to get out of it and try and improve. as an amazing artist, do you have any tips on how to kind of start from scratch? like how do you learn ... stuff

I’m really sorry that you feel stuck, it’s not a pleasant feeling and I’ve experienced it myself many MANY times. First, let me preface, that your age is not that important. I’m turning 26 in a couple of months and I know there’s still SO MUCH I can improve on, I know artists who are younger than me and can do breathtaking art. I also know artists who didn’t even start drawing at my age, who started drawing a little later in life because they felt like doing art. So, who are you competing against? Why are you competing? Is self expression not goal enough? I’m not a professional artist, I don’t want to adhere to some industry standard, and most of all I don’t want to feel behind in an area that is so, SO personal to me.

Now, to the feeling stuck part. I’d love to say that in art, you’re always improving. Well, it’s not exactly the case. There are artists whose work doesn’t change for years and they feel content in what they do. Are they stuck? Not really — they feel fine. When you feel stuck in your art, it means that your brain has caught up to your physical ability and went beyond, it starts seeing flaws you haven’t noticed before. You’re very young still and have PLENTY of time to work up the pure handcraft of visual art. What I recommend is, start analysing what your hands are doing. Find an artwork in which you admire the skill of the artist and try to replicate the way their brushstrokes or lines work. Find a screenshot with really good colours and try to make little thumbnails with the colours and the shapes that you see. Don’t go for actually replicating screenshots, define a goal and don’t worry about the rest. If it’s the creative part you feel stuck on, my go to advice is always — stop and take a break. Go outside and look at your surroundings. Watch a movie, go down the rabbit hole of YouTube tutorials on how to restore a night stand (not obligatory), go to your local museum and just. Look. Let your brain wander in how beautiful mundane things are. How pretty are the faces of the people on your bus. Love what you see and with love comes art.

Now on to the learning part. This one is way less poetic because, well, the theory behind art is an academic field and I’m not an expert in it. There is a sea of decent art tutorials on YouTube, ranging from colour theory to multiple point perspective. If you have an artist who’s very skilled and happens to have a YT channel, watch them and really think about what they’re doing and why. I can’t stress this enough, if you want to actively learn something, you have to watch critically. If you have any spare money, you can invest in an art basics course too, god knows my brain expanded 40 times when I finally attended one, and I’ve been drawing for years before that. If you don’t have the finances for that — don’t worry. First, learning is a process and attending a class just sometimes accelerates it. Second, attending a class later in life does NOT mean you missed an opportunity. Rounding up, outside of any means of formal education you can still learn some useful things. Start with the basics, with the “boring” stuff (and I use parenthesis because drawing boxes is really fun actually), with “how to draw a straight line and what is line weight” and not “upper limb anatomy” or “advanced colour theory”. You’ll get there eventually, I promise. Just like I mentioned all the way in the beginning of this awfully long reply: it’s not a competition!

I hope this was useful in any way and I wish you lots of luck and patience. And love what you do, regardless of what other people do.

[sailorshadzter]

Can you write a parallel with canon where Dani is Cersei, Viserys is Joff, and Sansa is to marry him. Jon could be in Jamie’s role as royal bastard. I live for salty teen, angst with happy ending!

okay anon

so hear me out

this has been in my inbox for.... well... forever. lol.

i apologize for the amount of time its been & for the lack of angst??? but i think??? this could span a second chapter???? or more??? i really love this setting & its not one ive done yet. so i can easily be tempted to do a little more to it.

anyways. i felt compelled to write this randomly so here's what i have for you SO FAR. be on the lookout for more! and anon, if you see this (or anyone really), feel free to request more, if you even remember sending this lol

send me prompts

The South is unlike her home in every way possible. 

She looks up at the daunting Red Keep before her, knowing that after this day, everything in her life was to change. The eldest daughter of the Warden in the North, she’s come to King’s Landing to marry the young King Viserys Targaryen, a madman some might say, spoiled and prone to violence when he doesn’t get exactly what he wants. Her father had been against the match of course, but when the King sought your daughter’s hand, there was little he could do but bring her South and hope for the best. 

And so, as they climb the steps to the double doors, they’re already swinging open, revealing to her and her entourage the young and beautiful Targaryen princess, Daenerys. She’s soft-faced, with violet eyes and silvery hair that she wears twisted back in braids, gems sparkling in the sunlight. Her powder blue gown is of the latest fashion, with long sweeping sleeves and an elegant waistline. “Welcome to King’s Landing,” she says with a glittering smile, eyes sweeping from one face to the next before they settle upon the redhead she knows is the girl who will marry her brother. “Lady Stark, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you.” She says these words but somehow, Sansa doesn’t think she quite means them. But, she smiles and dips her an appropriate curtsy, as she knows to do. Her manners are that of a well bred, noble born girl, a girl who had perfected her curtsy at three. There would be no one at court who could rival her in courtly demeanor. “Come, let me bring you inside…” She gestures for the small group to follow after her and they step inside the castle, which to her delight, is as beautiful as she imagined it would be. 

“Thank you for the welcome,” Sansa finally speaks as she turns to face the Targaryen princess, surprised when for the first time she notices another standing there. It is a young man, perhaps only a little older than she is herself, with dark hair and eyes that remind her of home… Why, she knows at once who this young man must be, her very own cousin Aegon, born of her aunt Lyanna Stark and the famed Rhaegar Targaryen. A bastard son, but a royal bastard, raised there among the Targaryen family he had left in Viserys and Daenerys. Some might even say he was the real claimant to the Iron Throne, but the boy had never seemed interested, and so it was Viserys who ruled as King of the Seven Kingdoms. There were some who even whispered rebellion in his name, but such whispers had yet to reach the palace spies. 

Aegon looks solemn as he stands there in all black, opting to leave behind the finery his aunt wears, wearing instead something that could have been homespun for all she knew. He is every inch a Stark born man, looking more like her own father’s son than even Robb looked, his features reminding her mostly of Arya. At once, she feels a twinge of homesickness, for the North would never be her home again. “The King is waiting for your arrival,” Daenerys is speaking once more, drawing her attention away from her cousin and back to the present. “I will have you shown to your rooms, so you may rest and refresh, then I shall have someone bring you to him in the throne room.” Sansa nods, pushing away the flicker of fear, holding her head high, like the queen she knows she must become. A queen would not be afraid.

A queen would be strong.

[ x x x ]

He can’t believe how beautiful she is. 

Of course, he’s seen her painted portrait, but even that did not do her justice, certainly not when she smiles. From where he stands beside his uncle’s throne, the young bastard watches as she appears in the doorway to the throne room, on the arm of one of Viserys’ nobles. She’s in a new gown, one of gray damask, sewn he can see in a fashion more like the South than the one she’d arrived in. Her red hair, so vivid, so long, is pulled half back, a knot of braids pinned into place with a dragonfly comb. The rest of her hair falls long and loose down her back, nearly to her waist, and his fingers ache with the need to know just how soft it must have been. 

“Welcome my lady,” his uncle speaks from where he sits, violet eyes sparking at the sight of the young woman that now approaches the dais. Viserys too notes the beauty of the girl before him, with red hair and eyes so blue they are unlike any color he’s seen before. She sweeps him a beautiful curtsy, dipping so low he wonders how she could ever rise back up, but she does so in a fluid motion that would put even his most noble women to shame. “I am delighted to finally meet you.” Their betrothal has been a long time coming, that was for certain, with many months of negotiation and delay. He rises up, surprising her, to come down the steps from his throne to stand before her, reaching to take her hand and bring it to his lips for a feather soft kiss. From behind him, his nephew wonders who has replaced his uncle, for this was certainly not the man he’s known all of his life. “You are a beauty.” 

She blushes beneath his compliments, dimpling prettily when she smiles. “Thank you, your grace,” she murmurs in a soft, but Northern accent. “I am happy to finally be here,” she goes on with a flutter of her lashes, her hand still in his, daring to give it the gentlest of squeezes. 

“I know you have met my sister, Daenerys already… This is my nephew,” he turns, gesturing towards the young man that looms behind his throne. “Come, Aegon and meet your future queen.” Though he looks as if he’d rather do anything but, he comes down the dais as well, offering the young woman a bow. “Aegon will be captain of the queensguard, you know, so I imagine the two of you will become fast friends. Show her around, won’t you Aegon? And tomorrow evening we shall have a banquet to celebrate your arrival.” He’s smiling, but much like Daenerys, Sansa feels as if what he says, or in this case, what he does, doesn’t really equate to the truth. But, she smiles and nods all the same, for this was her life now.

This was her family now. 

[ x x x ]

Aegon turns out to be more like a Stark than he knows. 

He’s sullen, quite like Arya tended to be, and that thought alone brings a smile to her face. “This way, my lady,” he says, speaking for the first time, gesturing for her to follow after him. Instead, she falls into step at his side, as was her right, and he casts a sidelong glance her way as they step out of the halls and into the bright afternoon sunshine, to visit first the gardens. 

“Oh! How beautiful,” she says as they step into the lush greenery, the floral scents overwhelming as she sinks down to the nearest of bushes, simply to breathe in the sweet scent of the flowers growing there. From where he stands, Aegon watches her, surprised by this seemingly uncharacteristic act, for she seemed like the perfect courtier, never slipping from the role she’s taken on. But here in the garden, for a split second, he realizes he is seeing her for who she really was. “The gardens in Winterfell are never in such a bloom,” she says as she stands upright, brushing off her gown with a smile. “I’ve never seen such beautiful flowers before.” 

“This is only the beginning,” he says as they continue on their way, passing only a few others as they go. “The season has only just begun, after all.” Her eyes widen and she seems delighted by this knowledge and Jon leans over, plucking one of the blooms from the bush, simply so he might tuck it into her braids. “Come, there’s more to see,” he says next and she cannot help but to giggle at his expense, hand to his elbow so she might once more walk alongside him, her skirts sweeping across the stone walkway as they go. 

“We are cousins you know,” she says after a moment, her turn to look sideways at him. He’s already looking her way, those gray eyes dark, eyes that seem to stare right into her very soul. Aegon nods, he knows this information well enough, his uncle never ceases to remind him that he’s only a bastard born son. “You look like my father, like my sister.” She goes on as they cross the path, his steps leading her towards a stone bench that sits in a far corner. 

“I have heard,” he says, for another thing his uncle has never let him forget was how un-Targaryen he looks. 

“I never met her, but you must look like your mother. My father always says that Arya is like Lyanna in all ways but the gown wearing and you have her likeness.” She thinks of her little sister left behind, never close, but certainly loved, and wonders what she was doing right then, right now. Probably causing trouble of some kind. “I wonder…” She trails off, tapping her chin in thought, head tilted back just enough that her hair cascades down her back, prompting him to wonder just how soft it might be beneath his fingertips. 

“You wonder what, my lady?” Aegon asks when she doesn’t finish what she’s started. 

When she turns her face back to him, her blue eyes are quite serious in their gaze. “I only wonder what you’d have been named, if you’d been born in the North.” She doesn’t mean to offend, but for some reason, his Targaryen name just doesn’t seem to fit. 

He’s surprised by these words, for all of his life he’s struggled with an identity that never felt as if it belonged to him. Aegon, though his name for nearly eighteen years now, has never felt as if it was truly his. As if it fit who he was supposed to be. Aegon, the name of his dead half-brother, a stolen name his uncle sometimes says in a rage, a name he does not deserve. “Well, had I been born in the North I’d be a Snow,” he replies to which she nods, staring at him as if she were inspecting him. 

“Jon,” she finally says with a smile. 

“Jon?” He questions, to which once again she nods. 

“It would be Jon, most certainly. Jon Snow.” 

“Jon… Jon Snow,” he tests it out, the name feeling familiar upon his lips, despite only just hearing it now. Somehow, this name seems to fit far more than his given name has ever. She’s smiling triumphantly, clearly proud of herself, and he finds he’s grinning himself, a strange warmth flowing through him. 

She opens her mouth to speak, but is silenced by the approaching footsteps of another. It’s a woman that stands there now, a little older than even Jon, with dark hair and eyes, dressed in the traditional garb of a handmaiden. “My lord, your grace,” it takes Sansa a moment to realize the woman is speaking to her with such a title and she reminds herself that she was queen to be, as good as married, considering the binding betrothal contract. “My name is Shae, I’m to be your handmaiden,” the woman continues only when she’s swept them both a curtsy. “The King has asked me to return you to your rooms before supper,” she adds, shooting a quick glance at the young man beside her. 

“Oh, yes, please let us go,” he gets up alongside her, issuing her a quick bow as she turns to go. She turns back only once and when she’s gone, he’s left there wondering why he feels so empty without her by his side.

[basofy]

some thoughts regarding joyful (not definitive)

this is more of a personal post about my relationship with this game, but i realized something important a while ago, and it's that, out of the 3 times i've played lisa the joyful, i had never played it again after changing my mind about buddy

yes i disliked her at first im so sorry, i was biased on brad and didnt like others dunking on him GHAGFSGF the first 2 times i played i didnt like buddy a lot, the 3rd time i was starting to take her more seriously but i honestly just replayed for the battles and secrets, didnt even finish it back then.

so i have to say, outside of the new content, replaying joyful felt absolutely necessary for me, after starting to emphatize more with buddy (which ive been doing for like a year and half, still never played again) and not only that but my thoughts on rando. i've been looking wrongly at him since the start becuz i thought he was simply just nice 'rando did nothing wrong' then i realized he, in fact did things wrong, and i had become a bit, hmm, disinterested in him, because i had in mind his flaws too much and it started to feel like he didnt care much about buddy. sorry if this is mean as hell rando fans, but luckily playing again gave me a different view of him. i think rando cares, he cares as much as he can but he cant just agree to everything, there are things that simply just oppose eachother and i think this eats him alive and makes him a little lame in how he handles things. i noticed he mentions the kidnapping at the start quite a lot, which he could be feeling intensely guilty about, even moreso, with the implication that buddy was assaulted, which he even asks her about right after. and even if buddy doesn't bring it up ever again, he seems still worried about this. and i liked paying attention to that. i enjoy not seeing him as perfect but he is still caring

on the topic of buddy, i started to become more and more attached to her over time and it actually pains me to think about her sometimes. much like with lisa, thinking about how they were literally just kids going through the worst makes me cry at times. during this playthrough of joyful i had something strange happen and it's that i'd get actual goosebumps reading some of the dialogue, the things buddy would say to rando, the kidnapping, the flavor text in battles and things the enemies would say to her. i think i finally played joyful like i was supposed to and im happy about that, im rly feeling like drawing buddy and rando now. theyre not perfect siblings but it's good to be assured that they cared about eachother, i needed that

another thing i rly rly needed since a long while ago was to cry for lisa again, i played the brad hallucination fight in spanish (only that part, cuz i wanted to see how the name 'chiqui' got handled) and it made me cry so bad, especially i noticed that right after the dialogue where brad tells buddy to not call him dad, his next phase is literally named 'dad', i never paid attention to that. but anyway it seems this game affects me more if i play in spanish, might be because the first time i played it was the fan translation, very nostalgic. some bits of the new content in painful and joyful made me cry, too, mostly the lisa bits. even if there are some things im not convinced by, i know im thankful for that, idk, i like getting emotional and crying, this game means a lot to me, but for a while i could only cry if at some point i started thinking about it too much, i couldn't cry while playing, so this was nice, im a sensitive and lame guy

[grumpymoons]

1

Hello, 

This is maybe my third or fourth attempt at writing something that I feel is acceptable. I keep deleting my writing because I am worried it sounds odd or I am not properly articulating the point I am trying to get across. I wonder if it has actually been bad or if it is just me being hyper critical of myself. I want to write posts that make sense and make other people feel seen. I have not been able to find a blog or social media that talks about all of the things I wish I was seeing. I want to see a young woman my age discussing her struggles as she goes through life. Someone who was just recently diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and PCOS. A girl who is struggling to come to terms with it all. Who is honest about her experiences and struggles. A girl who just simply writes about coming of age in this difficult world we live in.

While there may be these out there, I have yet to find them, but I will keep searching to find connection. For now I will simply do it myself. I will write about everything I can and hope to make at least one person out there feel less alone. Gosh have I felt so alone for so much of my life. Just alone in my brain and my thoughts. This blog is also good for when things do finally change. I will be able to look back when I was struggling to get out of bed, very low on friends, and wishing for it to get better, and be proud of the growth and progress I have made. 

I have been 22 for around 9 months and yet I often still feel as though I am 14, just starting high school and trying my hardest to fit in. I have always felt this desperate need to be liked by everyone around me. That has definitely not happened lol, but I guess in the end being liked should not be a priority. I am working on accepting that by being myself I will draw in people that truly like me for me and not this masked version of myself so many in my life know. 

I guess I have often felt like I MUST keep this fake outward appearance of being okay all the time. The thought of burdening others or bringing them down with my depression and anxiety has been such a fear. I have felt so deeply sad for so much of my life and did not know where to even start when it came to starting the process of healing. Actually I know my depression has brought some others down whith just how deep Ive let it sink into me. It has infected many of the people surrounding me and I am so deeply sorry for that. I often think of the people I have hurt or lost connection with due to me hatingmyself and projecting these fears and anxieties onto others. To growth and change though. I have chosen to accept the pass and all I can do is move forward, right my wrongs, and do better in the future.

Here are some things I have been wanting to write about. 

I have recently been watching Dimension 20’s Freshman Year Dungeons and Dragons game. I have always wanted to get into dnd but have not had a solid crowd of friends that were also interested in things like that. It has been so much fun making my way through their episodes and seeing the wild directions a game can grow. I have been watching maybe two or three episodes a day and I am going to try to keep that up until I finish Junior Year. I wonder how long we will have to wait for senior year IF they even decide to do one. Watching this game has really put into perspective how much of the quote on quote “Nerdy Stuff” I have avoided my whole life. But actually that is not true. I outwardly made it appear like i was avoiding it, but then in secret would enjoy all of these things. If I heard it would make people not like me then I was scared of doing it. That’s such fucking bullshit. So glad I am beginning to actually do the things I enjoy. I like table top games! I like video games! I really like watching twitch streams of people plying my favorite games! Hopefully soon I will be able to join my own first campaign of dnd. That would be fabulous. First I will be starting by creating my character. I believe I have now started a dnd hyper fixation and I am quite excited about it. 

I have come to a realization on my interest in the sex, kink, and fetish category. I have always been so fascinated by it all. Fascinated by the thought of pleasure so great a person is shaking and illegible. The idea of being brought to sub space and how fantastic it sounds. True aftercare from a partner who just wants to take care of me and make sure I am okay in every way. The excitement of how many sub genres there are in the world of sex and kink. I have been reading and watching many things on these topics since elementary school. Ive felt this innate shame about it the entire time though. I think It is important for me to get rid of that shame and accept that I like this stuff and it is okay. It is okay to have many of the kinks I do. I will find a partner who will work with me to figure out if they are things we can take part in together. Actually maybe my current partner will and I just need to push past the fear and talk to him about it all. I guess all we can do is experiment and trust each other. I will be keeping a log of my journey here. 

I have been wanting to write my own story for a while now. At first I was trying to come up with an entirely new idea, but more recently Ive decided to start with something that I already know. I know the Harry Potter universe extremely well. I have been a fan for as long as I can remember. Reading the books, too many fanfictions to count, the movies, and fan made films has been a huge part of my life. I think I will start by writing fanfiction. In fact I have so many ideas I will be able to put into a story. The characters and general backstory are already there. I just need to go into depth a little more on that and then create their future. I will start with Dramione, but I would love to write some marauders ff one day. I adore all of these fanon characters so much. I will also be keeping track of my progress on this blog. 

I love to write and I hope that through blogging more I will learn to articulate my words a lot better. Thanks for reading all of this if you get this far lol.

Moons

[azelle-intermisson]

Echo vn review

i have finally finished echo as my second ever visual novel after adastra. i really loved this vn and it was a super interesting read. for anyone who hasn't read it if a furry horror vn with very human feeling characters peaks your interest then i would 100% recommend echo its a really good story with some really strong characters that i enjoyed thoroughly. in this review im gonna be going through all the main cast and some of the side cast so its gonna be a kinda long post where i just gush about parts of each route i really liked but there will be titles before each section if you want to see what i have to say about one character in particular for whatever reason.

this review is all my opinion and is not going to be exhaustive so i will end up missing some things (mainly because i did not take notes while reading and forgot a lot oops). so if there is something i missed you wanna hear my opinion on ask :). also this is my first time writing something like this so lmk if there are things i can do better if i end up doing this again.

SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE GAME AFTER THE READ MORE

before i fully dive into the review i wanna go over some of the external factors that have influenced how i view this vn. during flynn's route i was the most sick ive ever been in my whole life and im pretty sure i missed out on some vital details because of the brain fog during that sickness. i am not well versed at all in vns the only other vn i have played is adastra, however i am familiar with romance tropes so even though i feel like i missed out on some cool moments simply because i haven't played many vns i did not miss out entirely. also about halfway through my playthrough i learned that there is kinda an order you are supposed to read the routes in which is:  Carl > Leo > TJ > Flynn > Jenna, i ended up reading it in this order: TJ > Leo > Flynn > Jenna > Carl. i don't really know how much this ended up changing how i view the story but thats how i did it. i also made chase gay i don't really know what that ended up affecting since i played all the routes as gay chase and whenever i got something i considered a "bad ending" i would reset to my last decision and do something different. the last thing that might have some sway on how i feel is how sweet the community has been to me so far, i don't usually get myself involved with a community before i finish something but this time was different since i was making fan art and everyone was super nice <3

Visuals/Music

I really loved the music and artwork for this game. i feel like the music did such a good job of creating an atmosphere whether it was chilling in the diner with jenna and tj or getting kidnapped by brian it always did an amazing job at really putting me in the shoes of the characters. i adored all of the fully rendered drawings throughout the game i love the colors i love everything about it. of all of them i think the one below is my favorite i just love how serene it looks.

this was my favorite track i feel like it does such a good job of capturing the tone of the whole game so well or the one that plays whenever they are just chilling idk what its called and i can't find it for the life of me it is driving me crazy.

Misc

there are a few things i couldn't quite fit into any of the next sections so i wanted to put them here. i really loved every character in this game i feel like the reason why i loved them all was because of how human they felt. whenever someone did something i didn't agree with i always defaulted to sympathizing with them because of how human they felt to me. also after writing this i have realized my ranking of each of the routes is just how much leo is involved with each of them i guess i just really love the guy.

Prologue

this part of the game is a little less fresh in my mind since i only read through it once on my first playthrough but from what i remember it did a really good job of establishing the setting and getting me interested in the lore of these characters. the first river scene was such an amazing moment i love how the route split happens in a way that makes you choose between emotionally comforting someone or going after who you want to romance. my only issue with it was that i did not realize that this was a route split in my first playthrough and ended up picking tj since he seemed the most affected by flynn and i was really worried about him even though the character i really wanted to romance was leo. even though i did not realize it was a game with so many diverging paths at first i still think the prologue was really good and got me very invested in the lore of echo.

MAIN CAST

Chase

i walked into this game not really expecting to care for chase too much since i kinda didn't like marco in adastra and i was expecting him to be more of the same type of guy but i was pleasantly surprised. i hate it so much when player inserts are just blank slates so im very glad that chase is an actual character who interacts with the world and people around him. he never had any moments where i was frustrated with him and wished he had said something different(aside from the ending of tj's route) and for the most part he reacted the way i think i would in his situation so i really liked him in all of the routes.

TJ

in retrospect i really like tj's route for how subversive it is as a romance with tj not reciprocating chases feelings and how nasty chase's jealousy felt. while playing it i kept waiting for leo to show up and whenever chase would try and romantically pursue him i would get kinda sad because i wanted to hangout with big wolf man. however i feel like this gave me a really interesting perspective on this route since before chase even kissed tj i never expected them to actually get together since it didn't feel like tj was all that interesting to me. this made chase's jealousy over julian feel even more scary than it already was and that final confrontation at the lake with flynn horrifying. i loved how the horror aspects where handled in this route and how subtle a lot of it was in comparison to other routes. chase drowning flynn and the description of it is one of the most haunting things from this game for me. overall i thought tj's route was pretty good even if i spent the whole thing wanting to hangout with leo because i was dumb and didn't know i had gotten to the route split. its in 4th place in order of my favorite routes in this game.

Leo

leo's route is my favorite i love him so much. i love how you get the bad ending of his route for trying to stay with him. his route was also my first time seeing the hysteria in full swing so that was a crazy twist. every single scene with brian made me feel so anxious i never really knew what to expect from him. i loved how his unhealthy obsession with chase was treated with the weight that it really deserved. the way he reacts to kudzu and chase's relationship not only feels like a natural progression of his character but also adds so much to the horror of his route since his jealousy often ends up causing serious harm. it was so sad to see him unravel and act the way he does during the hysteria because i really wanted to see him be happy and somehow move on from chase. the final scene of the "good" ending gave me what i wanted in the most evil way possible. i had wanted him to move on so bad that i had forgotten how brutal moving on can actually be. leo ends up losing the person he is closest to in the worst way possible i say this with love though it made me cry real hard. and the implication that he is planning on staying in echo is too just heartbreaking. i could go on forever about all the things i love about leo's character but i don't want this section to be too long so i will end it here and say leo is my favorite of the main cast and he has my favorite route of this whole game.

Flynn

i feel super conflicted on flynn's route, it does so many things so well but the ending left me feeling weird. i wanna talk about the things i liked first, which is most of the route. aside from leo he was the character i was most interested from the prologue mainly because i could tell that he wasn't just going to be a one-note mean guy and i thought he had a ton of potential for a really interesting story and i was right . i really enjoyed how his mean demeanor was written the times when he decided to be nice never felt out of character, like the way he helps carl with his interview and really wants his friend to do well and when things don't turn out well he still supports carl but does it in such a flynn way i just loved it so much. flynn and chase's relationship during this route stressed me out the most out of all of the routes mainly because of how they hid it from leo i really wanted chase to just talk to leo about everything but i can understand why he was avoiding it so much. i really loved the reveal of chase killing sydney and how flynn reacts to it. the way everything in that scene plays out was just amazing i can't be mad at either side of the it since i can understand why jenna and leo don't want to believe that their childhood friend killed someone but i can also understand flynn's immediate reaction to this and wanting to lash out at chase. the sydney flashback really got to me everything about it felt so real to me and flynn trying to take a big brother role for sydney and try and protect him from seeing the corpse anymore was so heartbreaking. my favorite part of this route was when you get the perspective of flynn rather than chase it was not something i was expecting in the slightest and i was so happy to be able to see some of his thought process when he does stuff. i really liked the hysteria portion of his route but im a little iffy on the ending. on one hand i like it for the story the fact that flynn dies kinda makes sense to me i just really wished he had lived and we had gotten to see a healed flynn who now knows the truth of what happened fully, even though i know this vn doesn't like giving out easy solutions. overall flynn's route is really good i just wish it had ended differently i would put it at 3rd place in my ranking of the routes in this game.

Jenna

i almost adore jenna's route as much as leo's. i really like her personality and aside from leo she is my favorite character. learning that she likes manga and watching anime with her was such a fun little moment that i thought was cute. it really surprised me when carl went missing in this route i was kinda expecting his birthday to play out the same in every route but i this was a really good plotline. i liked that this route forced jenna and flynn to interact more since the tension they have is always so fun to read. i loved the side characters in this route micha was my favorite out of all of them(even though i think jeremy is really cute). i want to give micha his own section in this review but to put it shortly his relationship with leo made me super happy. i really liked the tension between jenna and leo it was such a good conflict that i enjoyed reading. the whole fake cheating prank was such a gut wrenching scene that i was honestly having a hard time getting through. i liked the section where they are kidnapped by brian more in this route than in leo's mainly because brian getting rocked by the ghost thing was really satisfying. the implication that carl was tortured the same way chase was for multiple days is unfathomable to me. leo and chase being sewn together made me feel sick because anything remotely body horror related gets me and micha having to sever that tie was really cool foreshadowing for leo and micha's whole thing. the whole van section was also really incredible and seeing leo start to move on from chase warmed my heart in an otherwise very intense route. i liked heather she is such an intresting character to me since i really want to sympathize with her because its clear she has a lot of unresolved trauma but she was also an asshole to jenna and tried to flood all of echo. i really loved her trying to flood the town it is such a crazy plot point but i still really loved it and jenna having to put aside how shitty heather was to her to talk her down was a really good moment. the dinner scene after everything also felt very satisfying and it was good to see micha be apart of the group for a bit his interactions with everyone made me smile. i really liked jenna's route all around it is my 2nd favorite and was a super fun read.

Carl

i really liked carl's route i relate to a lot of his struggles and even though there where less scenes that scared me it was still really good. this was the last route i played so i was feeling kinda melancholic while reading since echo had become my nightly routine for about 3 weeks and i was really loving the characters and story. i liked how much lighter(in comparison to the other routes) of a tone carl's route took staying over at his big haunted mansion is such a silly concept on paper but it ends up playing out super well. i thought raven was a silly guy even if he didn't really add or remove much from this route and he helped keep jenna somewhat in check so that was nice. the escape room stuff was so interesting to go through. i found myself feeling scared that they may not actually make it out or they would end up killing each other. my favorite scene from this route was the hanging tree stuff. i had such a vivd picture of everything happening and it was really hard to watch jenna and carl to do things that i know they wouldn't. this route also had a ton of echo lore so i kinda wish i had played it first since i feel like i missed out in other route because i was trying to piece together things that are revealed in carl's route. i really liked the james hendricks and john begay stuff . even though carl's route is my 5th favorite by no means do i think it's bad.

Side Characters

i'm not going to only talk about the ones that really stood out to me and in a much shorter way than the main cast (other than micha)

Micha

micha is my favorite of the whole side cast and i really adored him and leo's relationship that i interpreted as romantic during the last bit of jenna's route. at first i didn't really like him and thought he was kinda an asshole. as the plot kept going i kept getting more and more attached to him since he was still an asshole but he was working with the main group. normally i don't like characters like him but i feel like he was written in such a realistic way that i found it hard to stay mad at him. i really loved him and leo's relationship their connection felt so real and i think they could be soooooo good for each other. the van scene was so incredible the way the player and chase have to fill in the blanks as leo and micha talk about what happened between the two of them really immersed me in the story .leo feeling guilt over never reaching out to micha after he was disowned was such an interesting thing i never really expected leo to want to help someone who was a bully to his friends but i still feel like it makes sense for leo to feel this way since he just wants to protect people. i think its really sweet that leo ends up leaning on micha more after the van scene. also the scene in the dinner at the end of jenna was really sweet i loved seeing micha being added to their group dynamic and i wish i got even more. in conclusion leo and micha should kiss and live happily ever after <3.

Brian and Clint

i don't have a lot to say about these guys other than the fact that they are horrifying antagonists. before i saw brian fight i was under the assumption that if leo is present then we are probably safe but brian ends up breaking that sense of safety in such a horrifying way. i like that even though clint isn't physically strong the fact that he has the strongest character following his orders made him so intimidating

Jeremy

i wanna give him a big kiss even tho he is mean

Janice

i really liked janice in tj's route. i love the fact that we never get a clear answer for why she needed chase and tj to be digging holes. i almost want to trust that she isn't killing people but she clearly has a few screws loose.

Closing Thoughts

i really loved this furry visual novel and its really human feeling characters. i had way more to say about it than i thought and the more i write the more i love the story and the more i want to say but this is already such a long post. i liked adastra more but i don't really feel like it is a fair comparison because if i hadn't played adastra this account would not exist and i prob would not be drawing at all but maybe if i had played echo first it would have done that to me since it still is really good. this was super fun to write even tho i know some of it might not make any sense lol because this is just kinda stream of conscious. i might end up doing this with other things i read/watch since it also gives me an actual reason to take notes when i read/watch things. also i wanna say thank you to the community on here i haven't been involved with fandom spaces for a really long time and im still not very involved with this one but you guys have been super nice and i wanna continue making art and talking about this game :)

[frozenbound]

dragon hybrids anon here to say u absolutely knocked it outta the park w/ my request thank u very much. glad to hear ure feelin a bit better and even more glad to see more of ur excellent writing. ive got another request if u feel like it: time travel shenanigans where an older hanzo (around overwatch recall-ish age) ends up in the past somehow and gets seduced by a very needy younger version of his little brother (pre attempted fratricide) who has a thing for older men because of obvious reasons. maybe throw in some daddy kink and some mild identity porn if ure so inclined :3

I'm glad you enjoyed them, Anon!! Dragon hybrid Shimadas are just...so good. I really enjoyed writing it!

And now time travel shenanigans! Man oh man, I LOVE me some Shimadacest time traveling and identity porn, let me tell you!! Another high quality ask! Thanks so much for the request, I appreciate it!

Time traveling Older Hanzo with Young Genji, coming right up under the Read More!

Hanzo sprawled out on his back, staring at the sky through a canopy of pink and white cherry blossoms.

He knew joining Overwatch would be a bad idea. He just knew it.

As soon as he could breathe again, he was going to get to his feet, find Genji, and drag him away to…somewhere. Somewhere that wasn’t the middle of a battle between renegade Omnics and renegade heroes.

Genji wouldn’t be too surprised. As soon as he had finished giving Hanzo a tour of their base…a dilapidated, obsolete eyesore…and introduced him to his teammates…a ragtag group of overly-loud, overly-enthusiastic extroverts that had Hanzo itching to disappear at the earliest possible moment…Genji had brought Hanzo to a quiet rooftop overlooking the Mediterranean, sat him down, took off his mask, and said with an mirthful will of iron, “Yes, they’re insane, but so am I, and so are you, and I’m convinced this is where we can do the most good, brother.”

Hanzo had scoffed. “You may be insane,” he’d grumbled, looking out over the orange water towards the setting sun, “but I am not. What makes you think I’m staying after seeing all that?”

“This,” Genji said simply.

And he had leaned forward and kissed Hanzo.

With tongue.

Then with moans, deep, drawn-out moans as Hanzo pressed forward and laid them both out full-length on that roof, chasing the flavor, the feel of Genji’s mouth.

At last. At long, long last.

There, under the open, darkening sky, Hanzo had, with trembling fingers, pushed his trousers down and then felt and poked and prodded between Genji’s legs, finally fondling Genji’s cock and ballsack that fell into the open air when his little brother released his codpiece, and sighing when long-held yearning was finally relieved as his fingertips found the soft, clenching muscle of Genji’s entrance.

By the time the sun disappeared under the horizon, Hanzo was buried in Genji, holding back sobs at how good he felt, how perfect he was around him and laid out under him, so willing and relaxed and buzzing with desire, desire for him, Hanzo, which he had only dreamed might exist in his little brother’s heart.

Then, after Hanzo had thrust his way to both their completions, Genji spilling across his own stomach and chest untouched with a cry that echoed Hanzo’s as he erupted deep inside, they had lain there together under the stairs, wrapped in each other’s arms.

“I’ve wanted this,” Hanzo murmured into Genji’s hair, drawing him closer to his chest, “since the moment you earned your dragon. You looked so handsome, bathed in light and power. I knew then I wanted no one other than you.”

Genji chuckled. “I wish,” he said with a trace of trepidation, “that I could say the same. Don’t get me wrong, brother, I’m flattered that you’ve wanted me for so long, but the world might’ve been kind to keep us apart so long. I’ve always admired you, looked up to you, but would I have returned your affections? Well…not until I saw you again in the castle.”

Despite having Genji here in his arms at last, it was something of a blow to hear that Genji hadn’t shared his feelings as long, but that wasn’t anyone’s fault, much less Genji’s. However, curiosity piqued, Hanzo asked, “Until you saw me there? Why?”

He felt Genji sigh against his chest. “I’m a little wiser than I was in our youth, brother, but one thing hasn’t changed.”

Hanzo furrowed his brow. “What?”

“I’m still as shallow as ever. When I saw that you were…” Genji fell silent and shifted around for an uncomfortable moment, before he awkwardly laughed and continued, “that you’d grown into a DILF, into an oji-san, I instantly got hard as a rock and stayed hard during that entire fight.”

Genji chuckled when the skin pressing against his face warmed up. Hanzo’s blushing was so intense it had reached all the way down to his chest.

“I am not…” Hanzo mumbled.

“Yeah, you are,” Genji said with a laugh. “Accept it. Be grateful for it. Once I caught the oji-san bug when I was nineteen, I’ve chased them all my life. Now I’ve got one for my very own, and I’m not letting go.”

Hanzo was silent for a few moments, before he ventured, “So…if I had…confessed to you earlier…”

“Honestly? If you had confessed before you hid that long chin of yours under your beard, automatic no, and I wouldn’t have been nice about it. After you grew your beard, I might’ve been up for being fuckbuddies, but I suspect that wasn’t what you wanted.”

“No,” Hanzo agreed, his heart clenching.

“I think,” Genji said gently, “that we could’ve had something that wasn’t perfect, but good enough…maybe…to last until you aged like a fine wine.”

“Humph.”

Genji shrugged and stroked his hand up and down Hanzo’s flank. “I’m sorry, brother, but I’m only being honest.”

“I know,” Hanzo said with a huff. “And I accept it, but I wish many, many things could have been different in the past.”

“As do I,” Genji said softly. “But I wouldn’t change this, right here, right now. Never. Not for anything.”

And for one perfect moment, Hanzo was content. With everything. Past, present, and future.

The moment had passed, of course, but with Genji at his side and in his bed and in his heart, much of that contentment managed to stick around.

But enough was enough.

After being forced to return to Hanamura to face an alliance of Hashimoto and Talon just in time for a Null Sector attack to send everyone, friend and foe, scrambling for cover, enough was finally enough.

The battle against Null Sector had been hard, but ultimately successful, and Hanzo had even allowed himself to be briefly impressed by this ragtag group of heroes…then a lone Null Sector omnic soldier had reared up out of its hiding place and blasted Hanzo off his feet, along with Tracer, the time-traveling, hyperactive poster child of the new Overwatch, right into one of Symmetra’s teleporters.

Hanzo attributed the sudden silence and abrupt change of scene to the teleporter. The only place there could be this many cherry blossoms was on the castle grounds, so they were evidently not in Kanazaka any longer. 

So he could afford to lie here for a little while before he finally got up and made the long trip back down the hill and find Genji.

“Well, well! What do we have here?”

Hanzo started at the familiar voice, his eyes widening, but no…that was impossible.

“Another drunkard left behind after the Golden Week crowds, huh? You’d better get up, old man. The Shimada family may open the grounds to the public out of the goodness of their hearts, but most of them aren’t as laid back and…forgiving as…I am…”

There was a moment of silence…charged silence, as Hanzo felt eyes rake up and down his body.

“Hey there.”

Hanzo sat up with a jolt when someone crouched beside him, and the sight was as impossible as the sound: Genji.

Young, unscarred, fully flesh, looking down at him while licking his lips.

Seductively.

“G…” Hanzo started to say, breathless, astounded, shocked to the core.

Then he picked his jaw off the floor, clicked his mouth closed, and scowled, because the answer came to him in a flash.

He was dreaming. The blast hadn’t thrown him into the teleporter after all; it had thrown him into a wall and he had suffered a major head trauma and he was hallucinating-slash-dreaming.

It took him a moment to realize what was happening because Genji, young, whole, untouched, hadn’t appeared in his dreams since the real Genji, with every mark Hanzo had carved into him, had dropped out of the shadows and back into his life.

Before then, however, he had appeared often enough…and wearing that exact expression, exuberant, confident, and utterly shameless as his lively eyes traveled up and down Hanzo’s body, lingering on his torso and arms because each muscle was outlined by his skintight, longsleeved compression shirt.

He licked his lips again, in that characteristic way that always forced Hanzo’s eyes to watch the perfect lines of his mouth.

“Well, oji-san,” Genji said in a voice so low it was nearly a growl. “I don’t think the guards know you’re here. What will you do if they find you?”

Hanzo’s hackles immediately raised at the word oji-san. This was the Genji who would have rejected him if he had confessed his feelings long ago, precisely because he wasn’t an oji-san.

And this Genji knew that, because this was a dream and Hanzo’s subconscious delighted in torturing him at every opportunity.

And indeed, Genji smiled teasingly at Hanzo’s deepening scowl. “Oh, yes,” he drawled. “Lucky for you, I think I could be convinced to help you out a little, if you were to do me a little…favor.”

And Genji reached out to trace his finger down Hanzo’s arm.

Hanzo snorted.

One of these dreams, huh? he thought as he watched Genji waggle his eyebrows suggestively.

Fine, then. If even Dream Genji preferred DILFs, then he’d get one.

“O-oy!”

Hanzo surged up to his feet and, grabbing Genji by the shirt, hoisted him to his feet and slammed Genji harshly against the nearest tree, causing the blossoms above them to quiver.

Normally, he had enough propriety not to kiss his little brother out in the open.

Here, though…

“Mmf!” Genji tried to shout past Hanzo’s lips, but like so many times before, he struggled for only a moment or two before his eyes rolled back and his lips and mouth and body relaxed under Hanzo’s, and Hanzo permitted himself a thrill of triumph as he sought to get a taste of this Genji, the one who had enraptured him for so long.

He tasted shockingly similar to how Genji tasted now, despite everything…

But reality bleeding into his dreams was to be expected. Hanzo had always been overwhelmingly practical, so that even when he was lucid dreaming and had the power to do literally anything he wanted, he was content with Genji’s soft lips under his own, with Genji’s skin under his hands as they roved under his shirt, and with Genji’s sigh, so relaxed, so accepting of this oji-san version of his older brother sticking his tongue down his throat and pinching and tweaking his nipples and pressing the whole length of their bodies together…but only for a moment.

Then Hanzo was sliding down, breaking the wet kiss even as Genji chased after him, before his little brother gave up and threw his head back and let out another long sigh as Hanzo pressed kisses to his throat and to the swell of muscle underneath his shirt until his knees hit and ground and he was facing the bulge in Genji’s short shorts.

He deftly unbuttoned and unzipped them and was not the least bit surprised when Genji’s heavy cock fell out, uncontained by any underwear.

And Hanzo drew in a long, indulgent sniff, filling his lungs with Genji, before he opened his mouth and effortlessly let Genji slide past his lips and tongue and straight into his throat.

“Fuck!” Genji yelped, his hands clamping onto Hanzo’s head, his fingertips curling into his graying hair. “Fuck! Fuck!”

Hanzo would have chuckled if Genji weren’t blocking his airway.

Then he would have sneezed, since Genji’s pubic hair was tickling his nose.

But he managed to suppress it as he drew back, hearing Genji’s breath catch as he stopped to nurse right on the head of his cock, drinking in the precum that was all but spurting out.

Then he laid his hands over Genji’s, still fisted in his hair, looked up at his little brother, and nodded.

Genji was impetuous, self-assured, and most of all, intense when he had been this young.

Dark lust dimmed Genji’s eyes.

His grip tightened.

And he slammed his cock back into Hanzo’s throat.

Hanzo would have sighed in utter contentment, if…

As it was, he had to steal what gulps of air he could in the split seconds of freedom, between the brutal slams of his little brother’s cock into the warm, slick, tight confines of his DILF older brother, so pleased to have found such the perfect little cocksleeve he’d always needed.

Hanzo started to make obscene and wet noises every time his airway was clear because he knew the fire it would set in Genji’s blood, the carnal conflagration, the absolute need to fuck and pound into that welcoming mouth until he shot his boiling load straight down into Hanzo’s stomach.

Genji shuddered and thrust Hanzo’s face into his pelvis, burying his nose into his pubes one last time, and Hanzo was a practical man; all he wanted was to be this close to Genji, with Genji’s length pulsing in his mouth and throat, and Genji’s heat blooming and burning all the way down to his core.

Black spots danced in his vision and his fingers tingled and his blood screamed for oxygen, but nothing could come between him and this most intimate moment that he craved more, much more than air.

It was Genji who eventually drew back and allowed Hanzo to suck in a long, deep breath.

Then Genji reached down and tilted his wet, drool-covered bearded chin up and they locked gazes for a few endless moments, simply staring, with Hanzo panting, open-mouthed with red lips, and Genji had something akin to worship in his eyes.

Once Hanzo had caught his breath, Genji tugged him back to his feet and kissed him, gently, licking over his sensitive lips.

And with his free hand, he pushed those short shorts to the floor and stepped out of them.

And he pulled Hanzo forward.

And he unbuttoned and shoved Hanzo’s trousers down just enough to free his weeping, rockhard erection.

And he urged Hanzo to press forward harder, to press Genji firmly against the tree trunk, and to support his weight as he wrapped his legs around Hanzo’s hips.

And he guided one of Hanzo’s hands down and under the curve of his perfectly muscled, round ass…

…to the soft flared rubber handle of a buttplug.

Hanzo chuckled into Genji’s mouth as he tugged on it.

This really was a dream come true.

Then he swallowed Genji’s moans as he slowly, excruciatingly slowly, pulled it out, stretching Genji’s rim until it popped free.

And Hanzo tossed it aside and lined up his cock with Genji’s loose, lubed, and welcoming entrance and drove in as deeply and easily as Genji had driven into his throat.

“Ah!” Genji cried out, breaking their kiss.

He sounded so sweet that Hanzo didn’t resume it; instead, he latched onto the side of his neck, sucking and raking his teeth and mouthing and licking as he gently rocked in and out of Genji, as gentle now as he had been the first time they’d made love, because Genji was the wild and ferociously free brother who wanted to bust his nut into his devastatingly handsome older brother and mark him as his as quickly as possible, and Hanzo was the practical and patient brother, and he wanted the slick, velvety heat of his little brother around his cock for as long as possible.

“Ah! Ah!”

Genji sounded wonderful. Divine.

He sounded almost as good as he felt.

So hot, so smooth, so perfect, molding around him as though he was made to be the lock to Hanzo’s key, his body parting and opening to Hanzo’s gentle yet insistent nudging and chasing after him as he glided out, and Hanzo felt like he had all the time in the world, here under the cherry blossoms, to work his way gradually up to his pinnacle, the smell of his and Genji’s sweat and arousal slowly intensifying and combining, their breaths getting increasingly ragged with Hanzo’s being particularly raspy in his abused throat, a constant reminder of the contrast between their radically different yet complementary styles.

“O-Oji-san,” Genji panted, right when Hanzo was on the edge.

“Say my name, Genji,” Hanzo bit out harshly, teetering.

Genji blinked rapidly.

Then, slowly, “H…”

Hanzo paused and waited.

“H…Han…Hanzo…” Genji breathed.

“Again,” Hanzo ordered.

“Hanzo.”

“Again.”

“Hanzo!” he yelped as Hanzo bucked his hips, burying himself balls-deep in the first abrupt movement he had made since crushing their lips together at the beginning of this sweet, teasing dream.

“Again, Genji,” Hanzo panted. “Never stop.”

“Hanzo! Hanzo!”

He followed the rhythm Genji set with his name, spearing up into him and punching that sweet call out of his little brother…

“Hanzo! Hanzo! Hanz…ah!”

…until he felt Genji’s hot essence erupt between them, soaking their clothes, seeping in to wet their skin, as Genji again shuddered and trembled all around him.

He drove in one last time, seeking to surround himself with Genji as much as possible.

“Genji,” he hissed as he flooded into his precious little brother, painting him, filling him, marking him as his, as he always was, as he always would be, as his cock throbbed and his nerves sang and the need he had to unite with his brother, to always be united with him, was sated…again…for a little while.

His orgasm slowly tapered off, leaving him as content as he had learned was only possible when he was here, in Genji, buried in him and covered with him and holding him both deep inside and in his arms.

He bent his knees and lowered them both to the ground. When the motion eventually popped him out of Genji’s sloppy, red entrance, Hanzo returned the gentle favor Genji had bestowed on him by lifting his hips, nearly bending him in half, and burying his face in Genji’s musky valley and laving his tongue over the red skin, licking up the errant white ropes of cum leaking out until Genji managed to wink closed and keep the rest deep within him, where it belonged.

Then he lowered Genji’s hips to the ground, his legs splayed on either side of him, and they just looked at each other silently for a few moments, breathing slowly, the smell of sex heavy around them.

Genji suddenly smiled, lopsidedly, and opened his mouth.

There was a flash of white light.

And Hanzo slammed against a wall.

“Oof!” Tracer grunted alongside him, and then, with a flash of blue light, she was gone and suddenly thirty feet away, on her feet, uninjured, and flashing away, firing into the rogue Omnic’s sides with her pistols.

Hanzo laid on the ground, nearly catatonic with whiplash and confusion.

What…?

And suddenly Genji was there, all sleek and white and metallic with his cybernetics, crouching beside him…

…tucking his flaccid penis back into his trousers and buttoning him up…

…then gathering him into his arms and running, carrying him to safety and the warm glow of Mercy’s healing staff.

Later, hours later, when the battle was over and the sun had long since set and Hanzo was as well as circumstances permitted, he went in search of Genji.

He found him on the rooftop, gray against the night sky.

They stood side-by-side for a moment, looking up at the stars.

Hanzo turned to Genji, opening his mouth to speak…

…but Genji was already pushing him down to his knees.

Hanzo let out a little annoyed huff, but he supposed they could talk later.

For now, he simply kept his mouth open.

[2n2n]

Show us your favorite official art by Aida please!

I had answered this long ago but unfortunately had a major program error and lost the entire thing LOL, so it took a while to get the fortitude to answer again, as I had liked what I typed before… now ive forgotten all of that lol so here we go again!

My favorite Aida arts, as a category, are images which expand on the canon, show us just outside of the canon events, or turn the camera around from the manga's scenes. These just-- can be eye-opening, they can add depth and illuminate the emotions and atmosphere, EMBELLISH the canon in a way that is thought-provoking and awe-inspiring. I think Aida is incredibly good at this. some ideal examples of that:

a little shot between everything that occurs in the Red House, which is ALREADY DEVASTATING … but this tender moment without words, between Tsukasa and Amane, we are so lucky Aida just felt like blessing us with this amazing image. It is absolutely agonizing. It's the sort of quiet moment that could be hard to script in… I'm glad for a single illustration, with all of the space to 'breathe'. When considering Tsukasa's character, this image is always in my head… a very touchy boy. Both hands holding Amane's hand to his face…. I wonder if he's feeling the circulation in Amane's hands? Probably, they are cold … the tips are discolored. An Amane on the edge of death….

this piece, taking place while Nene and Amane are staying in Sumire's house overnight. Amane says he won't sleep, as he'll keep guard over them. Here we see Hanako getting his fill, the opportunity to stare at Nene as she slumbers finally available to him… he's always seeing her leave school, at the end of the day. He doesn't get to see her sleep every night. For a guy who grew up with his twin by his side day and night… I feel Hanako's attachment style wants things like this very badly … he's such an avoidant boy, reserved in his feelings, but he WANTS to stare for hours, and his love being asleep is his opportunity. It's perfectly creepy and yet deeply romantic, right? A perfectly 'Hanako' thing to do. I love his bug-eyed wide staring, blank expression. He is so funny~~ his love is cute… this image makes me happy to exist.

this image, which is a perspective shift from the "I wanted you to live a life bestowed by my hand, and not the kid, or anyone else" moment we see in the Far Shore. This is an Amane, watching Nene-chan leave the school at the end of the day beyond where he can 'touch' her… as she always does, every day. I love the sense of-- dawning, delusional realization, in this Amane, staring widely, staring at his hands, staring at her, reflected in his eyes … the moment of, epiphany. "I can do something." He is thinking of horrible things! But… this ah, image, it conveys such a romantic or divine sense of purpose, doesn't it? I adore it… I'm glad we get to see the Amane making the decisions towards the Severance… the light source here feels like it doesn't quite make sense but all the better, amazing to to see his pale face bathed in light while his hands are so darkened in shadow. The outside light pouring in behind him. Again this divine delirium sense.

this is it. This is The Image, of all time ... we could not be so lucky as to see the twins at Tanabata within the bounds of the manga ... we are so lucky Aida wanted to draw this header!!! The way all Tanabata images see Tsukasa facing away from us, an air of mystique to this boy we don't know yet-- the living Tsukasa who is growing up with Amane-- TORTUROUS, AND YET BEAUTIFUL ... artistically speaking this image is crazy inspiring to me-- the palate of orange, blue, white, red ... the deep navy, the simplification of the sparklers and the festival, completely scribbly and yet incredibly effective. Aida is so good at putting in just the right amount of detail to create an impression, without overworking herself. Ughghh Amane looks sublime, the poses are so wonderful, feel like they are dancing around one another, feels, like Tsukasa can't take his eyes off Amane.... one of the most inspiring images to me. I wish I could be such a master of gesture and color!

Such an incredible image-- out of context it's a mundane image, but IN context, it's endless. This is the Nene-chan about to depart to the Far Shore with Kou and gang to confront Hanako …. which means, this is the Nene-chan about to offer to 'stay' in the Far Shore …. which means, this is a Nene-chan prepared to die. This is a suicidal girl. She's packed her bag up with all kinds of games and toys, she's dressed herself in her school uniform… to stay with Hanako, forever and ever. She's not crying… she's not miserable… she's genki. I wonder if she's saying a simple good-bye to her family? I would love it if Nene-chan really felt no great weight, but instead a great ease and lightness, for what she's about to do… it's so romantic, right? Ahh~~ it's just, a perfect image … I like when nene-chan is complimented by green in a composition. Very nice orange-pink-green going on here. some other images that are favs, which don't fit in that category I laid out before!

I. Think about him very much… this image-- just perfectly lets you simulate what it was like to be Tsukasa, it is spellbinding. It is too captivating. Amane--!!! ANYTHING TO SAVE HIM!!! too charming, reading aloud to meeeeee…. UAH-!_!!! first person PoV, STRAIGHT TO THE HEART--!!!! I UNDERSTAND!!! I understand, ok …. this image is so chaotic, I have no idea what sort of error or intention exists on the right side of it-- did Aida crop it incorrectly? All the stars around him feel like, Tsukasa's brain framing him…. too, captivating. Tsukasa's love is too deep…. Amane makes you go a little crazy, doesn't he.... I can feel it in this image wwww....

unfortunately I have to put this image here, because I think about it, too often. It's one of my backgrounds, to torment me. This image pairs with the Red House arc .What on earth does this image mean? Amane is pushing his hat off his head; Amane's hat coming off symbolizes vulnerability (whether he intentionally pulls it off, whether something causes it to fly off, or it simply askews… scenes where Amane is behaving earnestly, through force of another or his own intention, see his hat coming off)…so, he's not guarding himself, here. He's amongst all the playroom toys. His expression feels pleading, it feels beseeching. It's asking for-- attention, would you say? A best guess. Now the other aspect of the image: his feet planted on the ground, knees bent, arms over his head…. I want you to pose like this and try to NOT feel like A. you are in Britney Spears music video and B. you are meant to hump the air in this position. Everything about it is TOO EROTICALLY CHARGED!!! It feels like Amane is pleading "play with me, pick me, I'm one of your toys, please, me me me"… APPALLING… THIS IMAGE IS TOO MUCH, THE VIBES OF THIS IMAGE, THEY ARE BEYOND ME… they are TOO INTOXICATING… it chokes me. Why are you like this--?!?!??!? WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE RED HOUSE????? an absolutely mind rending image.

ah the, classic. Nnngh. The swirls in Amane's eyes. The STARING. We just watched his stare fixed on Nene-chan earlier… an Amane who doesn't look away, who isn't grimacing, who isn't hiding his eyes from anything. A freshly bloodied knife. Staring down at Tsukasa. What do you think that says, about the shinjuu? The camellia-shaped red smears obfuscating Tsukasa…. the sense of wondrous delirium in the abstracted night sky around Amane …. these colors and playful stars, swirling, clouding. Sublime. We are too lucky to have this image!!!! Such a wonderful Amane…. Tsukasa saw a lot in this expression once, didn't he?

the simplicity and again the effectiveness of Aida's stylization just floors me. This is such a simple image, but it has such an atmosphere. For a sticky-note!! This image… does it show us Amane, finding his lunar rock….? in a field….? I have such field emotions, in my heart, I wonder if they'll ever come to mean something, haha … I love whenever Amane looks this out of his mind, pre-shinjuu. All the peace of a boy with a promise he'll keep forever. Must feel great~! To know what is important, in life.

I place this image in posts constantly because it is… oh heart-pounding~~ Couldn't ask for a better image of the living Amane… couldn't ask for a more implicating image. He's filled with decision and absolution. This isn't anybody's victim. He'll do what has to be done. I base so much of my conceptualization of pre-shinjuu Amane upon this image's amazing vibes… I love the stained-glass colors decorating it gently. Ohhh Menhera boy…. you'll make the moon yours, won't you? The most beautiful Amane, ah…. I can't wait to meet him.

and now for an Amane I simply find sooo ~ beautiful ~ I look a lot at him~

tooo handsome~ I love how often Aida colors in eyes a darker shade of gray than the surrounding skin... Daffodil, for 'unrequited love', as this image surrounds the Far Shore, where he is insisting on making his & Nene-chan's bond unrequited. But framed so beautifully, I get that impression that Amane is very nobly insisting it be unrequited-- he is forcing Nene-chan to move on from him, he is seeing a future in his mind where Nene-chan is with someone else. He is the very incarnation of the resistant golden daffodil. Insisting his love stay unrequited, forever ... committing to an oblivion of separation, his love dead in the water. I really love the daffodil imagery surrounding this arc. Ugh the cold gray is so lovely... this Amane's gaze too handsome...

because Amane is such a frightfully deeply loving person, so possessive and obsessive... I think he must feel so selfless to be willing to let Nene-chan go, like it's an incredibly loving and caring gesture coming from him, at great cost and great effort to make it...

so, I understand all the Daffodil focus in this arc's art. I really like it for that.

there are other images that I would call my favorites, but I don't want to go no forever haha, I think 'non-OT3-related-images' would have to be its own category... but essentially every Sumire/Hakubo image is a core favorite of mine next. I feel as if the most beautiful colors and settings and vivid detail are reserved for those two ... their setting feels very idealistic for Aida, it feels like she outright loves to render out its specificity, the simple house they live in, the nature surrounding them ... she doesn't tend to skimp on the details. Lots of warmth and romance always radiating from Sumire/Hakubo imagery... and often a very striking red/purple/blue colorscheme.

[ennaku-sirri-da]

ALL I KNOW IS THAT THE ENDS BEGINNING

[ Plaintext: All I know is that the ends beginning ]

[ ID: Digital fanart of Dr.Habit from the game Smile For Me. It is done mostly in grayscale. The style is semi realistic leaning more on cartoony. The faint rough sketch lines are visible.

However his design is from my AU Roseverse. The changes are as follows. Habit is is fur covered. His face is gaunt and freckled with protruding furry cheeks, then fur-ruffles under his makeup-applied eyes, then a thin pencil stache with surrounding chin and neck hair. The middle of the neck is surrounded by a scar, and he has an Adams apple. His teeth are broken, uneven and he has one snaggletooth fang. His voluminous curly hair is more subdued and messed up, but he is clearly balding on one side too with stray hairs perking up.

The background is black with a very mild grey light at the centre, and covered over with static. In the centre is a bust of Habit till his freckled shoulders. He is done in mostly light grey tones, face is left in white with some blurry, sometimes splotchy, uneven shading. The dark grey is used for emphasized features of the face and contrast like eyes and beard. There is some blurring of the lines in various places. Habit has an expression of anger and sorrow combined, his wrinkled brow furrowing deep as his glass eyes crack and oil spills in long lines from them akin to tears. He scowls strongly and his eyes are narrowed. His head slightly tilts at the viewer, facing front.

White text written in a sort of cursive style above him reads, " And one night I realized". The text below him reads," I never had a choice. I'd have to give years for something I don't really care about "

At the very bottom of the drawing a small, widely round-surfaced candle burns with a small flame out of the darkness. It is a real picture edited in. End ID]

--

Talk under the cut! This one's really personal. It's based on my experience, and was done during the same time. TW for very heavy topics, please heed the tags

These are the very words in a message I sent a friend:

"God dude it just keeps weighing on me that I have to give five years for something I dont really care about and very well much more

Realising how my chronic insecurity and constant abuse by my parents and loss of identity and them never supporting my interests at all is all correlated to trapping me in this golden cage

I wished I failed NEET

But then what could I have done to change it? Nothing in my life ever indicated strongly that the stream of Arts was a real viable option I should take. Except maybe like a few English teachers but they couldn't break my mindset

It's like I was fucking doomed from the day I was born to them to be unhappy

And now I have to work and work to be exactly what they want they wanted me to be all along

I cant take it I feel like ive been buried alive"

It was HORRIBLE. I went only for a few days to medical school, but every day I felt like dying. I really seriously wanted to kill myself. I have many times before, but this time the special dread of finality set in again like Judgement Day. I came home, the portion kept building and building, the teachers kept talking, the students kept talking and laughing, the building kept making me get lost, my family could only encourage me more, I couldn't take ANY of it. I HATED them. I HATED this WORLD. This cruel world. I cried until my eyes and heart ran dry when no one could see. I cried until I became nothing more than a hole in my chest and I called the suicide hotline and they couldn't help me.

And you know what? I fucking survived.

I'm here, bitch. I'm here and I'm breathing and I'm happy and I'm going to the stream I wanted, B.A English. I don't care if one more person has to be bewildered that I left MBBS. My precious life is more important than that.

It was like a miracle. I think God is on my side, for some confounding reason. There was a court case involving my seat for another student's, and I heard about the news right on the day I'd decided to "leave". I'd made plans and said goodbyes and everything. And there I heard it. Leaving school, hearing my aunt tell me, like a golden ray of light from heaven. Of course I jumped on the opportunity. No, don't fight for my seat. I've been very unhappy and in a dark mood. This is not what I want to do in life. I told my father this, and he surprisingly agreed. With his support I could be a little calmer about everyone else arguing with me not to do it. For once right now he did something right.

What can I say? I got admitted to an Arts college just yesterday. And this still evening felt like a fitting time to pull this out again and post it. Reminisce. On where I was and where I am now. Be thankful that the end began, but only the end of my old life and the beginning of a new one.

Thank you to every single stranger, friend and family member who was kind to me during this time. To that one fanfic creator who told me to hang in there, to my dear friend who heard out all my deathly woes day by day and held me tight in spirit, to my family who eventually came to support me and say I could do what I wanted(even if it was a hard process).

I will never forget that kindness. And now as I grow up into the world, and hopefully do what I want to do, I hope I can show the same kindness,

And I hope I will be happy.

[midorishinji]

Disappearing act - chapter IV

Geto observed her more carefully, trying to decide whether she was being serious or not. — Killing non-sorcerers? — It's an option, but I don't take it seriously. Do you? — Yuki pressed him with a loaded question. Suguru Geto thought of them all — Shoko, Nanami, Haibara, Riko, Kuroi, his parents, Satoru — and his chest filled with an unbearable pain, but also an incredibly monumental love, so much that it felt like it would stretch and burst at the seams of his heart that could not contain it. He thought of his father again, reading him "Night on the Galactic Railroad" when he was young, and he thought of Satoru reading his own copy now during his leisure nights. He thought of Giovanni and Campanella, and of the Scorpio of the night sky, and of the nobility of sacrifice, of setting yourself on fire to warm the world.

Satosugu ｜Finalized｜Long fic｜Also being published in Portuguese and on AO3

Chapters: I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI - XII - XIII - XIV - XV - XVI - XVII

Chapter IV: I almost wish we were butterflies and lived but three summer days

The sun was shining brightly and it was hot enough to pass for summer, despite it being October. The cold seawater reached his feet as the tide rose, but Suguru didn't care. Lying under the umbrella, the shade protected his face and part of his bare torso, although his legs were exposed to the sun and salt water. His eyes slowly read each word of the book he had in his hands, “Night on the Galactic Railroad”, by Kenji Miyazawa.

A hand took the book away from him, careful not to unmark the page being read.

— Satoru, you’re so childish, you know that? — Geto complained, sighing deeply.

— The beach’s not a place to read, come on... — Gojo grumbled back, adjusting his glasses — Besides, I asked you three times if you wanted a popsicle or not, and you ignored me!

Suguru sat down, taking the book back and closing it gently with the bookmark in the right place. — Yeah, sure, my bad.

— Great, because Kuroi already went out to buy it…

The two remained silent, watching Riko play beach volleyball against some of the friends she had made at the new school. Her face was sunburned, her cheeks and the tip of her nose red from the frequent and prolonged sun exposure.

— She’s grown a lot. — Suguru commented, with an air of sadness — It doesn't even seem like everything happened only two months ago.

The dark sunglasses disguised Satoru's worried look. — I know. Kuroi told me that sometimes she wakes up scared at night, thinking they’re still after her.

— But is the new identity working?

— Pretty much. Kuroi got a job at a clothing store out of habit, but they don't have to worry about housing, food, or education, the Gojo clan takes care of that. — Satoru replied, with a sarcastic smile — But I get her, you know. It draws less attention, and besides, you can't have that much free time, nah, otherwise you’ll just spend time remembering.

They both knew this very well: missions served to pass the time and fill the void inside; it kept them from thinking too much about what had happened, or what it really meant to be a jujutsu sorcerer, or all the ways this blatant lie could go wrong and ruin the lives of everyone involved. Fatigue is what helps us sleep at night, if our conscience insists on disturbing us.

— Any news about the cult? — Suguru asked.

— Nothing after the letter I received. — the other recounted, remembering that he had also been thanked for the “collaboration”, just like Geto was — And nothing from the elders either. Absolute silence. I think that worries me more than if they were still onto us.

— Do you think they know something?

— If they do, they're pretending not to. Either that or Professor Yaga has something to do with it.

— Do you think he knows?

— I think he suspects it, at least. Sometimes I'm sure he knows exactly what we did, but maybe it’s just paranoia.

Geto sighed. — I don’t know. I think if he knew, he wouldn't turn us in. Maybe he would even help cover for us…

— Probably. But I heard rumors that the Time Vessel Association has a new leader. The point is that nobody knows anything about the person, just that they have money, because they’ve managed to buy a seat like it’s no big deal. And why on Earth would anyone want to get involved in a failing business like that?

— Maybe it's someone who was already giving orders from behind the scenes, Satoru. That explains why they lied about the bodies to cover for us, they're probably thinking about blackmailing us in the future. For what purpose, I don't know, but it's probably that, blackmail. The Gojo clan has money and influence, you have power, and it would be useful to be an ally. — Geto theorized.

— We have power. — Gojo corrected him — And if that's the case, it means it's someone from the jujutsu world. Someone who is already among us, maybe even among the elders.

The possibility was unpleasant, but it could not be ruled out. Someone who had so much money, and so much power… They were a dangerous person. Right then, Misato Kuroi arrived with the popsicles. The volleyball game was interrupted, with Riko back under the shade of the umbrella.

— You have to put on more sunscreen, your face is so red… — Kuroi told her, looking for sunscreen in her beach bag.

Riko Amanai didn't worry about it, greedily biting into her popsicle. — Later… We’re about to win the game, I'll put it on later, I promise!

Misato didn't insist. Noticing the book next to Suguru, Riko commented on it, looking interested: — What book is that?

— It’s “Night on the Galactic Railroad”, by Kenji Miyazawa. — Suguru said.

— I've never heard of it. What is it about?

— Never? It is a Japanese literature classic. — Geto replied, surprised — It's the story of two boys, Giovanni and Campanella, who embark on an intergalactic journey on a magical train.

— Boys? Weren't they cats? — Satoru asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

This got a laugh of pure amusement from Suguru. — Riko-chan, promise me that you’re gonna study, so you don't end up like this idiot here, okay?

Outraged, Gojo gestured furiously with his long arms. — But they were cats! Or weren't they?

— I think they were cats in the cartoon, I watched it when I was a kid… — Kuroi rambled, encouraging his musings.

That little push was just what was needed to fill him with confidence again: — Told ya, I'm right!

Despite this, Riko Amanai was not impressed: — That's okay, I'm gonna study really, really hard... So I won’t stay a dumbass like that. — she said, standing up and brushing the sand off her clothes before returning to play, placing a baseball cap over her head. Kuroi ran after her with a sunscreen bottle on her hands, the same way a worried mother runs after a scatterbrained child. The two boys smiled, feeling for the first time a sense of normalcy in their adolescence: for a little while, the entire jujutsu world, the elders, cults, curses and spirits could disappear; all that mattered was Riko's birthday, and how she liked the bracelet she got as a gift from them, a symbol of an eternal bond.

— Hey, Suguru. — Gojo murmured, his eyes fixed on the game — One of the cats dies in the end, right? I remember this.

Geto confirmed, with a nod. — Yeah.

The confirmation did not discourage him from asking for what he wanted. — When you finish reading it, can I borrow it? I wanna read it. I’m curious.

— You can borrow it if you promise to take good care of it. It was a gift from my dad.

— I promise you.

Satoru opened his mouth again, thinking about saying something else, but he fell silent, feeling the weight of his words stuck in the back of his throat. Geto pretended not to notice this.

[auroraescritora]

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME - PERCY/NICO AU HIGH SCHOOL - CHAPTER XII

Hi, how are you doing? Things are finally calming down. Maybe there'll be another chapter later this week!

In today's chapter we have another scene from the past. I hope you like it^^

And I have some news. I've made a cover for this story! Also made with artificial intelligence. I feel like I should get paid since I'm practically training them already! But it looks cute.

Previous chapters: CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / CHAPTER III / CHAPTER IV / CHAPTER V / CHAPTER VI / CHAPTER VII / CHAPTER VIII / CHAPTER IX / CHAPTER X / CHAPTER XI

I hope you enjoy it!

''You're funny.'' Nico told him.

''You are.’’

And like third graders, which they both were, they laughed again as they heard the bell ring. Percy hadn't even realized that half an hour had passed, what was more time than he'd usually spent with his old friends these days. And what that said about him, hm?

''We have to go.'' He heard Nico say.

They really had. In a hurry, he helped Nico collect the lunch boxes and accompanied him to his next class, discovering that Nico was in fact in the same classes as him. Was Percy so distracted by trying to hide that he didn't see what was going on around him? Well, that would change from that moment on.

***

A few more days passed and with them, Percy began to pay attention to his surroundings. 

It was strange. How had Percy not noticed Nico's presence until that moment? Everytime Percy looked around, Nico would be there, at any place or time of day, too. That is, until they both went off to their respective homes, rehearsals or trainings, and even then, Percy would still be thinking about Nico; while waiting for his older brother to pick him up or at home helping his mother cook, trying new dishes.

That's what continued to happen for a long time, days, weeks, months, even, was hard to get a sense of time when the hours passed so quickly and the days were all the same. Percy felt like he was emerging from a paralyzing sleep, finding something that finally held his attention. One day he noticed that Nico sat at the front of the room and was very close to the exit door. On another, Nico was more towards the middle of the room and then the little boy appeared next to him, sharing the double desk with him. Grover was in the desk next to his with Juniper, Luke behind him with Thalia.

Percy looked at Nico once again and saw him writing something around a drawing, a black helmet, the handwriting as beautiful as the features of the figure. Percy wanted to ask since when they had sat together. Since when had Nico been part of his group of friends and since when had he felt so comfortable with Nico's presence, with the quietness that Nico's actions brought. Instead, he said in the lowest voice possible:

''What's that?”

''Hm?' 'Nico muttered and looked at him, as calm as ever. ''A design for a novel. I don't know if I'll finish it.”

The strangest thing was that he knew exactly what Nico was talking about. Percy had seen the draft of the novel in one of the breaks shared with food, and like everything Nico did, it was beautiful and delicate, as if Nico put a part of his soul into everything he touched with his hands, whether it was a piece of paper, art, food or homework.

''You should. It's beautiful.”

Nico didn't say anything, he just lowered his head and continued scribbling, his face hidden behind long, black hair that shone as it reflected the sunlight. Nico then doodled a sword and an armor, leather gloves, a crown of roses. The more Percy watched Nico draw, the less Percy understood what was holding his attention so much. Maybe it was the slim hands, the long, elegant fingers, maybe it was Nico's concentrated attitude, or maybe was the relaxed body next to his, his head next to Nico's, admiring the soft lines that revealed so much beauty.

'''Alright, guys. Get your books.'' The teacher said and out of nowhere, part of the magic was broken.

The drawings were still in Nico's notebook, just as beautiful as before, and they were still stuck together, leaning over the shared desk. The difference was that Nico had tensed and looked up at Percy, as if Nico hadn't paid attention to what was happening around him until he heard the teacher's voice. Percy also realized something, maybe he was very close to Nico, hugging him by the shoulders like a prison with no escape.

''Sorry.'' Even with all this in mind, Percy made no move to pull away or let him go.

Percy thought Nico was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. There was nothing like seeing the blush spreading across Nico's face, the darker skin taking on a warmer hue, to look at and to touch too, because even over his clothes, Percy could feel the heat emanating from Nico at the points where they touched; at his shoulders and hips, almost making Percy touch that delicate, beautiful face.

''...mind.”

''Sorry?”

''I don't mind.' 'Nico repeated in the same low, discreet tone, then turned to his notebook and picked up the books they would need.

Percy got the impression that Nico cared, yes, but in a... positive way. He saw the little boy open the book to the right page, lean against the back of the chair and up his arm, starting to read while the teacher explained the subject, like that scene was something completely normal. This made Percy wonder once again: had he ever done this with Nico? Since when were they so close? Wasn't it Annabeth who should have been by his side? Sure, they'd never been that close or acted the way he and Nico were acting, but... since when did she sit on the other side of the room with Clarisse and Silena? Shouldn't he have cared a little more than just being slightly surprised? She was his friend, wasn't she...? Shouldn't Percy miss her? So why had he only noticed Annabeth's absence now?

''Is everything all right?' 'He heard a soft voice beside him, and then, Nico's hand rested on his arm, Percy noticing in his friend's face a worried look.

Percy took a deep breath, letting his shoulders relax, and found himself smiling, something inside his chest warming and pulsing, as if the spark of an unknown feeling inside him was waking up.

''Everything is great. Wonderful. Incredible.”

''You dork.'' Nico rolled his eyes and leaned back against him, continuing to read the text the teacher had asked them.

Well, after that, Percy quickly understood what was going on; or rather, his psychiatrist had helped him understand. Nico wasn't stalking him, but in fact, Nico was doing the same thing he was; Nico was trying to live a discreet life away from prying eyes. Even he, at the age of eleven, admired the image that Nico made. The little boy stood out so much among the other studentes that Percy could clearly see the difference. Straight, wavy, thick hair, a small, fleshy mouth, intense black eyes, it was such a beautiful set that it gave Nico an androgynous, feminine look, although it was impossible to mistake Nico for a girl.

The point was, Nico had found the best places to hide, the same ones that Percy had found too. The music room, the forest, the bleachers near the sports fields further away from the classrooms.

Percy couldn't help himself, day after day, he found himself doing the same steps.

In addition to spending his time in class close to Nico, always during breaks, whether during the day or in the afternoon, he found himself walking and finding his way to the familiar bleachers with the familiar mop of hair in the far corner trying to hide. They never agreed out loud, it was just something that had become routine.

Nico would leave first, Percy would exchange a few words with his remaining friends and then he would follow Nico; he would practice basketball for a few minutes on the courth floor and then he would sit down next to Nico, accepting a lunchbox filled with the things he loved most, cake and pie, blueberry juice too, and sometimes, Nico would surprise him, baked potatoes or pancakes; if Nico was in the mood, lasagna or something Italian. No matter what it was, Percy would happily eat every grain and every bit of food. If Nico made it for him, the least he could do was repay him by eating it all. But it seemed so little compared to what Nico did for him... Percy wanted to share something with Nico that was important and valuable too. But what could be more valuable than sharing the food you've made yourself with someone?

''Your drawings are very good. Where did you learn?’’

They were once again in the stands, Percy ignoring the ball still in his hands to watch Nico take a forkful of food into his mouth, stopping midway with the fork between his lips.

''Hm?’’

''Where did you learn to draw?’’

''Oh, that?'' Then Nico looked down at his lap, where the notebook was, and put his lunchbox down. ''I had a lot of free time.”

Percy didn't know if he had understood… but Nico smiled at him, seeming to understand his confusion.

''I don't have any friends. I never had. Imagination was all that I had.”

''And what am I? A tree?’’

''No, you're a popular and rich athlete.’’

''You're right. I have many riches, how about you share them with me?”

''What are you saying?'’ Nico smiled again and Percy felt a throbbing in his chest that had nothing to do with the asthma he had as a baby.

''My mother likes to cook.’’

''Isn't that obvious? I mean, she has a restaurant, doesn't she?'' Nico said and tilted his head to the side, like that would make him understand what Percy meant.

''She'd love the company.”

''Don't we... have a paper to finish?’’

''I have plenty of space at home. My mother won't mind.’’

''Are you sure? I've never been to anyone's house.’’

This only made Percy's chest tighten even more.

''There's always a first time, right?’’

Nico looked at him, seemed to analyze him from head to toe and ended up shrugging.

''I will trust you.’’

At the time, Percy didn't know why he was having so many palpitations or why the feeling of relief had seized him so intensely. Later, he would recognize it as the fear of being rejected, and even if he didn't understand it yet, he knew that someone as sweet, beautiful and talented as Nico would never reject him so rudely. Thiat way, they finished eating and went on to their next classes, arranging to meet at the main gate after the last class.

***

Percy admitted, he had wasted more time than intended talking to the literature teacher. Apparently, he needed to try harder if he wanted to have a future at that school. She argued with him, went over every little thing he'd done wrong, and even gave him extra assignments to make sure his mistakes were corrected. Percy left the classroom as quickly as he could, and as soon as he saw the time, Percy ran down the corridors towards the school's main gate. When he arrived at the place he and Nico had marked, he remembered why Nico was always hiding in corners, which made Percy remember why he was hiding too.

They had already experienced this scene. Nico was pressed against the wall outside the gate and two other boys surrounded him, one of them was holding Nico by the neck while the other looked around suspiciously. The difference this time was that a crowd was watching them and no one was doing anything to stop what was about to happen.

Percy approached them, pretending to be another spectator, and listened the murmurs, while one of the boys spoke:

'Who's going to protect you now, huh? Because of you, our friends were expelled. Why don't you put yourself in your place and--’’

''What place would that be?’’

Percy couldn't help himself. This time, he didn't want any explanations. 

He stepped out of the crowd and the next thing he knew, he was face to face with the boys, or rather, his fist was against their faces. The pain came immediately, as he felt his nuckes collide with the nose of one the boys who were older than him, but who were no match for Percy.

''It's easy to mess with people smaller than you, isn't it? Why don't you play with someone your own size?”

''Would that be you?”

''What do you think?”

The silence fell, a silence that had become common no matter where Percy went. The nose of the boy he had punched was now swollen, blood trickling down his face, and the other, who had been too shocked to react, seemed to wake up from his trance. That would be the perfect moment for them to fight back, wouldn't it? Well, that's what people say, cowards soon give up if they find someone to resist them. And that's what they did, the boy who had watched his friend get knocked down with a single punch, pulled the other by the arms, helping him up and they both staggered into the crowd, running away with their tails between their legs.

Percy watched them fleeing in the distance between the cars and turned to Nico who was still leaning against the wall, the corner of his lips reddened and and on his arms and neck, marks of fingers and nails. The worst part was seeing the tears that kept falling or how Nico cowered, expecting other people to come and do the same to him. Percy didn't think, realizing that this was becoming something usual for them, and Percy didn't like it one bit, the fact that Nico had to hide in corners because of people's prejudice. 

He walked over to Nico and stopped in front of him, offering his hand. He had learned the hard way that touching someone when you don't feel safe or when you're in shock is the worst thing to do. So he just stood close without touching Nico, and tried to get his attention:

''Nico.'' Percy said in the softest voice.

''No, I… Percy?'' Percy held on and tried to be strong, Nico seemed to be reacting to everything worse than the previous time.

''I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I was waiting for you... then, these... these boys showed up and…’’

Percy didn't know what to do. He felt his heart break when Nico took a step towards him and opened his eyes wide, his pupils unfocused and wet, as if Nico was waking up from a nightmare, and held onto his hands, trembling and breathing fast, still curled up on himself.

''It's allright. Can I hug you?”

''Hug me? Why... why would you want to touch someone like me?’’

''It looks like you need it.’’

''I... I need?'' Then, Nico looked at Percy with the most desolate and lost look he had ever seen.

''Nico. It's allright.'' Percy said it again, refusing to accept what those people were doing to Nico.

''I have to... I have to talk to Bianca, my... my sister.’’

''We will. After we get to my place. Yes?’’

''You promise?’’

''I promise.’’

Then, as if a key had been turned, Nico grabbed his arm and picked up their bags from the floor, saying: ''You dropped it.'' Just like that, like nothing had happened. But Nico was still shaking, gripping his arm tighter and handing one of the bags to Percy, holding his own against his chest in the hope that the bag and Percy would protect him.

Gods! How could someone do this to such a vulnerable and defenseless being? What had Nico done to be treated like this? Then, Percy looked around, recognizing these people. Some were in the same class as them, others Percy knew in passing, and none of them had the decency to help a classmate being abused. That's why they said he was a "rebel", and if it was up to him, things would continue exactly as they were.

''Are you ready?'' Percy said when he saw that Nico was beginning to calm down.

''Hm. Thank you.’’

Percy took Nico's backpack from his shoulder, put it with his own, and led Nico by the hand between the cars parked near the school, spotting a familiar black pick-up truck.

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Thank you for reading. And if you can, send your appreciation in the comments. Until next time!