#something happened last night and my dad is currently in the hospital rn and i’m very shaken up

[diamondseaside]

.

[noblechaton]

happy new years dudes! 

this post is a sort of run down of my last year or so and rlly it’s just me rambling about my (sometimes gross, warning to all gross-haters out there (like me)) health issues so feel free to look past this

2020 was probably the single hardest most stressful year of my entire life so far and while some reasons are uh. kinda obvious. it sort of especially crunched down on me as it was the first year of my life where I had a persistent health problem for the entire duration

back near the end of 2019 (october 19th I think) I noticed this weird pain in my chest and it scared the heck outta me when it didn’t go away after a few days so I managed to get to go to the doctor for the first time in maybe an actual decade? to try and sort it out bc like on one hand my habits were(/are) bad and the day beforehand I’d been running on a horrid amount of sleep and my only food was bad fast food stuff for breakfast and dinner

anyway the appointments started coming after that as test after test cleared me of. well. anything. there wasn’t really anything weird found after a stress test or uh. this one test where they ran a wand over my body with some goo on it. idk what its called

so naturally I was really just totally lost bc the pain was still there up until around late january?? I think? my memory gets a bit hazy here bc so much had happened but I’m pretty sure that shortly after it faded away (mid february-ish?) I felt normal-ish but then had this awful headache that just straight up wouldn’t go away that lasted a month or so that got so bad I broke down and begged for a hospital despite knowing my bill was outrageous already but I managed to go anyway and got a CAT scan then and an MRI a few days later that turned up nothing again. legit nothing (aside from a kidney stone lol) and just like the chest stuff it faded

some time after that I got really shaky aches and pain sin my wrists and ankles that hurt super bad that I sort of didn’t talk about but at that point at least it was something I could sort of cope with and it eventually stopped after a while (I think this was bc of an antidepressant I was on that I just. immediately stopped taking as a result of the pain) 

but eventually that gave way to what was the worst of it where I spent around 2 months being entirely unable to eat or drink /anything/. I mean anything at all. water of any sort, crackers, it all came back up and. really really sucked. I lost a lot of weight and struggled a lot and I still struggle to talk about this one bc it was so traumatic and I’m terrified of it coming back to this day (I still don’t eat or drink all the stuff I used to eat or drink and maybe never will. I almost entirely avoid dairy of all kinds now which might tie into my current problem??)

obviously I got multiple tests for this. two cameras down my tummy and an emptying study and all of which turned up.............nothing. nothing I didn’t already have anyway. nothing that could be causing it and then of course shortly after the last test, the one that I thought would definitively answer what was wrong with me,(the emptying one), I was so desperate for food that late one night I devoured some awful fried chicken from the grocery store in the middle of the night and fell asleep and the next day I could finally, thankfully sort of eat again. my dad cooked up salmon for me since it’d been in the freezer and I tried it and it mostly stayed down and then from there it stopped happening all together

this one still stresses me out and again I’m fucking terrified of it bc I still have no indication on what it is or was

but that brings me to the last month or two? (which is a good ~4-5 months? from that last thing I think. my perception of time is fucked and filled with me being pricked with fluids and stuff bleugh) which has been mostly this weird discomfort/pain in my left side that’s almost always there (but has faded sometimes) with the occasional awful discomfort uh. between my legs back there. and this awful burping habit where I taste the last thing I ate for a while

this one’s hard to pin down and I haven’t been to a doc for it (yet, I wanna go and get a colonoscopy and even asked about a stool test that one doc said no to?? and plus it’ll probably be even harder now than it was before) and I’ve been on various laxatives (started back when I wasn’t eating as not eating meant getting anything out was uh. difficult) that all sort of dipped in usefulness. lately I’ve been drinking a glass of prune juice every day or two and it seems to do the most help but it’s still there

now this is odd for me bc I’m not even sure I’ve been constipated or anything and there’s a few theories I’ve had that range from me having IBS to it being tied to my body recovering from 2-3 months of not eating or uh. removing waste. to suddenly doing it a lot (this is also my theory on the belching since my neck/throat used to hurt a shitload on account of all the acid and stuff coming back up but it’s sort of slowly felt less bad?). I also sometimes feel super zoned out and foggy but that might just be my bad sleeping

lately I’m sort of wondering if this is maybe all a neurological thing?? or maybe some sort of mental snap caused by stress from my life. it’s been hard for me to consider much else beyond a deep mental issue after so many tests ended up with good results

I’m not smart enough to know for sure but. idk. a year of nearly nonstop bodily pain no matter what I did (exercise, no exercise. eating better, eating worse, etc.) with every single possible test done beyond a select few providing no results has sort of left me as a terrified wreck without anywhere to turn and it just sucks. I’m tired of being so scared of my own body

and all of that on top of. y’know. everything going on in the world. it fucking sucks

last year was real fuckin bad man and I can only try and hope that this year gives myself and everyone else a reprieve at least. a moment to breathe and be consistently happy again. thank u guys for still hanging around me and enjoying the piddly amount of original content I put out. 

I wanna do more for this acc since it, and you guys, got me thru a lot of this last year or so (I even got to see Glaciator in the hospital once lol) and I intend to start streaming myself playing video games over on twitch more often but I can’t make any promises rn. all I can do is hope to continue putting out even the dumbest of posts that y’all might get even a tiny laugh out of

[kingneptunesthinninghead]

How much do you weigh? what a weirdly personal question

If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? sitting in the shade reading a book

Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? yes but not in a way that will ever be truly fulfilling

What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? i live in a very rural area so i grew up with hunting for sport extremely normalized but once i actually developed and used my critical thinking skills i realized how morally reprehensible it is. literally just begging these people to use their brains.

Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? eh its pretty fast

Have you ever been someplace tropical? florida lmao

Are you sensitive to caffeine? somewhat. i dont really consume it that much

How do you usually get around? driving myself

Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? no bc i’m generally pretty independent unless i reallyyyy like someone

What do you think about Kim Kardashian? neutral

Can you speak any French? je parle un peu français

Favorite yogurt flavor? i’m lactose intolerant so i recently tried dairy free yogurt and i hated it sooo i guess none

How much money do you have in your wallet right now? i dont have any cash in my wallet rn lol

What bottled water brand do you like? deer park or aquafina

Your favorite way to eat chocolate? brownies

How often do you listen to country music? sometimes.

Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold? neither

Last surgery you had? my wisdom teeth surgery

Have you ever played guitar? no but i wish i could

Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? um i dont think so

What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? a little more confidence

Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? maybe

Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? i dont have very many online friends anymore but when i had a bunch i loved talking to them

Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? only for something i really like.

Do you have any stickers on your laptop? a bunch

Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? early in the morning so then i have the rest of the day to myself when i get off

Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? i have a workout app but that’s it.

Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? my mom, sister, and my 2 best friends

If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? probably the women’s suffrage movement or the civil rights movement

Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it?i want to tell him how i feel but i’m afraid i’ll ruin the friendship

What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? wear a tampon i’m sorry but i can’t do it

Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever come to your door? no

Are you well-known by people in your area? eh somewhat

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no and i dont want to

What's your favourite type of bird? owls!!

What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? i’m watching loki, hsmtmts, planning to watch s2 of never have i ever, and i started one piece but i haven’t watched in a while

Have you ever dated a smoker? no but that might change😳

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? no

Have you ever been a member in a band? No.

Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No.

Do you have separate emails for personal and business? i have my school email and personal email

Have you ever missed a flight? no

Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? i think so.

Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible? i literally rode in my best friend’s convertible last night lmao

Why did you last need to use a band-aid? i dont remember

What fruit do you eat most often? bananas and clementines

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? maybe my great uncle?

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? no but i’ve been in a few on insta and twitter.

Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? i don’t straight up drink milk but i love things made with almond milk.

If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? elsa i want ice powers

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? sometimes but normally during the day i’m in the living room with my family

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No.

Do you find piercings attractive? Yep.

Do you like potato chips? Loooove 'em.

What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? i’ve looked up a few people’s houses on zillow in my day.

Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? absolutely, you shouldn’t hit anyone

What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? my top 3 are princess and the frog, tangled, and frozen 2. i also love the little mermaid

Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. idrk

“Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? it depends on what it is. it should also be mixed with some loving or praise talk imo

What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? i LOVE italian food specifically fettuccine alfredo and i also love asian food such as general tso’s, sweet and sour chicken, lo mein, shrimp fried rice, LUMPIA 🤤

How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? i’ve always liked my hair color and thickness. i always go back and forth between growing it out long and cutting it short bc i can never choose which i like more also it has lots of red undertones so i’m thinking about dyeing it a deep red

How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? hypothetically it would be a red flag to me. a clear sign they haven’t moved on from the past

Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? a good smelling cologne on a man will quite literally make me bust a nut.

Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? i’d want them to unless it didnt fit or something

What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? i’m very close with my family so i’ve always loved the idea of having one of my own with my future spouse

Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? i definitely have ideas for my wedding and i would want it to go a certain way according to our plan but in the end if things go wrong or plans change it wouldn’t matter as long as i’m marrying the loml.

Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? i wouldn’t consider it cheating if he was just watching but i would be angry that he hid it from me

How old is too old for trick-or-treating? i dont think it matters unless ur posing a danger to little children

Do you sleep with your arms over or under the covers? depends but mostly under

Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band? i have nsync and harry styles shirts but thats it

Fries or onion rings? Fries.

True/False: you’ve had an odd dream this week. all the time but most of the time i forget them right after i wake up

Do you find tattoo sleeves attractive? depends

Do you like carving pumpkins? Yeah.

What’s an animal you want to have as a pet but can’t? i think raccoons are adorable but its kindaaaa hard to domesticate them

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? no bc my parents let me drink in the house and i’ve told them abt every time i’ve drank at college

How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? i would absolutely piss and shit on myself.

Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? no

The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? i would stop it even if i want to bc i don’t want them to regret anything and i wouldn’t want them to kiss me if they don’t like me bc it would hurt too much.

What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? i would love them all but something abt a guy taking the time to write a poem for me makes me melt

Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? no.

Which holiday is the most fun to decorate for? halloween

What was the first website you had an email account on? gmail

Have you ever written a fanfic? YES AHSHDH.

Tattoos or piercings? tats for sure.

What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? the scene where alexei breaks the inmate’s wrist in black widow is SO GROSS i cringe every time

Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? definitely a little cozy one

Do you have a tutor for anything? No.

Who’s the best kisser you know? i’ve only kissed one person.

Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. I'd like it to stay that way.

(If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? no and i hope they dont

Do you have a deep voice? not really

Do you play games with boys/girls, like 'hard to get’? no thats dumb

Is there a Sonic where you live? yes i’m a whore for sonic

What do you like on your pizza? pepperoni or sausage

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #385

“I am a human being, capable of doing terrible things”

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) Uhhhh. I don't know. Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? Yes. What’s your favorite movie series? I think Shrek when you consider all the movies' (well, I haven't seen the last one, but...) quality. No memeage here, I just genuinely love Shrek, haha. I would say The Lion King, but miraculously when you consider the focus on meerkats, I actually don't like 1 1/2 much. What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? Hm... I think I got purple highlights? Do you want to move anytime soon? Even though we haven't even lived here a year, yes. I don't like living in an urban area, and I also reeeeaaaally don't like our family friend being our landlord. I know that sounds very weird, but she's just a very controlling person who forcefully inserts herself into my family's lives now more than ever, and I have a pretty deep fear that a potential argument finally erupting will lead to us being kicked out. I genuinely don't think Tobey would ever do that, but the fear is still there. How good/bad was the quality of education you received in high school? Average, I guess? What was the most interesting year of your life, and why? "Interesting," maybe... 2017 or 2018? I learned a lot about myself in that time range. But at the same time, my life was (and still is) VERY uneventful. Just a lot of mental stuff went on. What was the first social media site you ever used? Myspace. Do you have any exes you really regret dating? REALLY regret? No. I wish I'd never dated Tyler, but it's not a massive regret or anything. He was still a cool guy that I have a few nice memories with. Have you ever lied on a resume? Or even in a job interview? Ha, I'd definitely stretch the truth about being more of a people-person than I am. I couldn't go too far with lying, though; I'm just not comfortable doing that, 'cuz like, they're gonna find out eventually that it's not true. Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? Maybe my friend Summer. Her room has always been super cool. What brought about the end of the worst relationship you’ve been in? Apparently, not talking to him every second of every day two weeks into a relationship was a no-no. Where was the last place you spent the night other than your own home? The sleep study building or whatever it's considered in the medical plaza. Do you have any step- or half-siblings? I have both. What do people always seem to think is weird about you? The fact I don't watch TV. Do you ever braid your hair? It's way too short for that. Even when it was long, I didn't do it frequently at all. Is there any certain style of architecture you really enjoy? Roman, in particular. What was the last thing you gave up on? uhhhhhhhhhhh If you watch Parks and Recreation, who is your favorite character? I don't. What’s the last DIY project you did, if any? If you can’t remember, what’s something you’d be interested in doing? I'm not really into DIY stuff, honestly. I'd rather just buy products that were made better than I could, or commission someone who can. What's a song that makes you feel happy? I dunno. It's rare a song alone makes me happy. What is your favorite clothing store? Rebel's Market. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube, back when it was a more social platform. What is something you do well? Catastrophize any situation. Assume the worst of everything. What's a good idea you've had recently? Probably to re-engage with a calorie-counting app I used to use. I'm back to trying to use it consistently. Do you like to wear high heels? Does ANY person LIKE to? How many slices of pizza do you usually eat? Two or three depending on my appetite and the size of the pizza. Do you play any instruments? Not anymore. Do you always smile for pictures? Not always. What are you most excited about right now? To see the results of my TMS therapy. What's the last song you listened to? "Ex’s and Oh’s” by Elle King. What's the last YouTube video you watched? I'm watching an Erosium livestream rn. Newest channel binge, haha. Do you know anyone who's died in childbirth? No. Would you ever consider moving to another country for your career? No. I don't want to leave my family. Do you wear foundation? No, I hate the feeling of that crap. Do you know anyone who has run for public office? No. Do you have a cartilage piercing? I used to, but the hole closed when I had to take it out for the hospital. :/ I plan on getting it repierced. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room or urgent care? If so, why? Yes; for being suicidal, a suicide attempt, and when I had a horribly infected cyst and just existing made me want to sob with pain. Have you ever had to visit anyone in the hospital? Yeah, a few times. What is the most pain (physical, mental, emotional) you've ever felt? Physical: having the aforementioned cyst drained when I was not nearly numbed enough. Mental and emotional (what's really the difference?): my breakup with my first real boyfriend. What is the longest time you've spent crying? Oh, hours on end, fluctuating with intensity. Have you ever been stolen from? Yes. Have you ever been to a ghost town? No, but I would FUCKING LOVE to. Let me bring my camera and it's a field day. Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? Not in this current house. Have you ever been inside of a vacant house? No. Have you ever been attacked by a dog? No. What is the most disgusting thing you've ever seen? The massive cyst my late dog Teddy developed on his lower belly. That fucking thing hung on by a THREAD and was absolutely nauseating to look at. How old were you when you learned how to read? I don't recall, I just know it was earlier than most children. Do you prefer cats or dogs? Cats. Which book series was the first you read? I want to say Hank the Cowdog. I was hooked on it. Would you rather write a book or direct a movie? Haha, what a question, as I've considered both of these as potential careers. I think write a book. What dream that you’ve had has stuck in your head the most? Describe: A nightmare about my dad that I'm not going into. What emotion do you find yourself trying to hide from others? I'm very uncomfortable revealing jealousy or envy. How emotional/sentimental would you say you are? Extremely. What is the most fun game to play? Shadow of the Colossus, probably. What is your sense of humor like (dry, dark, sarcastic, etc.)? I don't know, maybe dry. How many languages can you say "hello my name is…" in? Two. What language do you think sounds the nicest? I don't know, it's not like I've heard every language be spoken. What language do you want to learn more of? German. Do you have any form of OCD? I'm diagnosed with OCD. Do you make promises often? No. I take promises VERY seriously and am not about to make one unless I'm certain I can keep it. What is it that you are responsible for? My pets, keeping my room clean, stuff like that. Do you have a lot of secrets? Not "a lot," no. Are you more likely to be verbally aggressive or physically? Verbally. I'm only physically aggressive in my nightmares. What warning has someone given you that you wish you’d have listened to? Hm. What warning has someone given you you are glad you didn’t take? I also don't know. What is your favourite video of on YouTube? I can't pick just one. Name one creature that freaks you out/scares you? Maggots. Just the word makes me squirm. What was the last thing you wrote down on paper? My signature. Have you ever watched Breaking Bad? No. Are your fingernails always painted? They never are. What color is your bed frame? A rich brown. Did any of your neighbors come over to welcome you when you moved into your current house? No. What's something you didn't realize how bad it was until it happened to you? Heartbreak. Do you like Taylor Swift's singing voice? No. It's squeaky and annoying to me. Does it bother you when people get super emotional? Why the fuck would it bother me? Let people be in touch with their emotions. Have you ever worked in a restaurant? No. What was the last drive-thru you went through? Ummm I want to say Starbuck's w/ Mom after my TMS appointment. Do you know anyone who claims they can see/feel spirits or other supernatural "things?" No. Does your house have any unoccupied bedrooms? Yes. Do either of your parents have a mental illness? My mom has depression, and she personally suspects something's up with Dad, but idk. He's never seen a doctor about that kinda stuff. What fun things are there to do where you live? Ha! Do you know anyone with a really poorly-trained dog? I know many like that. When you were growing up, did your family rent or own your home? My parents owned it. Can you see the stars at night where you live? I actually haven't paid attention at this house. I'm certain it'd be harder now living in an urban area, though. What job do you know you'd be terrible at? Like, everything? I'd probably be worst at promoting stuff to people and trying to push them into buying something. No being a salesperson for me. Do you do meal-prepping? No. Do you know anyone who got preggo less than a year into their relationship? Who doesn't? And now, for the greatest question of all time! Toilet paper- should it go over or under? I literally couldn't care less about this. Fun fact though to "end" the argument, the original concept art of the idea (the word for that is evading me...) has it designed to go over. Are you afraid of mice? Not at all, they're adorable. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I don't have a specific "type" of thing I get, really. It depends. Do you vacation often? Not at all. Are you comfortable wearing your pajamas in public places? It depends on the place, really. Generally, I really don't care, so long as I put a bra on. What’s your favorite candy bar? That one that's a bunch of Reese's squares composed into a rectangle. It. Is so. Fucking. Good. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't like musicals. Do you own a helmet of any sorts? No. Does your family generally decorate for most holidays? Just for Christmas, really. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I'm not a soup person. Have you ever watched Doctor Who? I saw one or two episodes with Sara. If so, what do you think is the scariest creature yet? N/A Do you read tour guide type books before you visit places? No.

[isrustandstardust]

1. What’s been the best day of your life so far and why?

Hard to decide, I had so many great days.

2. Describe your first kiss, who was it with, what was it like, where was it etc?

It was with my best friend at the time, in my parents garden. It was early morning after a night spent talking, her lips were really soft.

3. What’s your biggest regret? I know we all say we don’t regret things but obviously it’s how we learn, from our mistakes. So what’s something from your past you wished you could have changed?

I could have handled a break up better. I ended up hurting someone I cared for.

4. When was the last time you laughed so hard that tears fell from your face and what was it at?

With my husband, yesterday night. We were actually making fun of someone we know.

5. What is the craziest thing that you have ever done?

Moving in with a guy I barely knew in a city 400km away from all my family and friends.

6. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?

Nothing comes to mind rn.

7. Do you have any scars and if so, how did you get them?

I have my arms covered in scars. All of them are from self harming.

8. Where would you like to be in 10 years?

In another house, maybe abroad.

9. What are your views on drugs and alcohol?

I’m for the free of choice. I’ve tried drugs only a few times and not drinking atm.

10. What are your views on religion?

Brainwashing shit.

11. Have you ever thought about ending your own life? If so, why?

Yes, more than once. I tried, twice, when I was 21 and going through a lot. The second time I almost succeeded and woke up in the hospital after being unconscious and intubated for a week.

12. Write 5 facts people might not know about you.

- I am bipolar, borderline and have a schizoafective disorder.

- I dream about Satan and the end of the world on daily basis.

- When I was little I used look for little animals to bury and exhume after a while to see how decomposition works.

- I’ve been into witchcraft and rituals since I was 16.

- I write backwards like Leonardo Da Vinci.

13. What’s your zodiac sign and do you think it fits your personality?

I’m a Scorpio and it fits perfectly.

14. Pinpoint a moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.

When my storyboard teacher remembered me from my online test because it was a perfect score.

15. Discuss your first love.

We were young and trying too hard.

16. Put your ipod on shuffle and write 5 songs that pop up. Explain why each song is on there.

- Don’t mess with me - Brody Dalle. It’s from the soundtrack of a game I love.

- Distance - 4bidden. It relaxes me.

- As the rain comes down - 0K(ill)’s. Because I’m working on their new videoclip.

- 8-MQ 16.10.2001 - 0K(ill)’s. Because it’s inspired by an Italian female serial killer. The title is composed by her initials and date of death.

- Rock and Roll - Gary Glitter. It makes me want to misbehave.

17. Name somewhere you’d like to move or visit.

Iceland.

18. What’s your earliest memory?

My dad taking me to Collodi.

19. What are your views on mainstream music?

It’s heartless and all about making money.

20. What are your highs and lows of this past year?

High: starting officially my character designer career. Low: my mother in law and old dog passing away in less than a month.

21. What are your strongest beliefs?

I believe in being direct and honest. Do no harm but take no shit.

22. Who are you closest to in your family?

My dad maybe.

23. How important do you think education is?

It’s fundamental.

24. What’s one of your favorite shows?

My 600lbs life XD

25. How have you changed in the past 2 years?

I’m more secure of myself and my capabilities.

26. Name 5 people who are famous who you find attractive.

- Tom Hiddleston.

- Mads Mikkelsen.

- Hugh Dancy.

- Michael Fassbender.

- Matthew Good.

27. Name your favorite movie and what it’s about.

3 Iron, in the mood for love. Because they’re sad but huntingly beautiful.

Stoker because psycho killers turn me on.

The fountain because is eternal and heartbreaking.

28. Who is someone who fascinates you and why?

I am fascinated by fictional characters. Like Hannibal Lecter. Yeah, again psycho killers.

29. What kind of person attracts you?

Intelligent people.

30. What’s a problem that you have recently had or are currently having?

My body is giving up on me xD

31. Name something that you miss.

The lake.

32. Share 5 goals you want completed in the next 30 days.

- Doing at least 15 designs.

- Double up my workout time.

- Completing my very first song.

- Take that online course I’ve been postponing for lack of time.

- Get a hold of a camera and go shooting.

33. What’s been the highlight of your month and the lowest point?

Highlight: doing a shit ton of sales on my shop. Lowest point: I don’t recall one, it’s been a pretty good month so far.

34. What’s something that you’ve done in the past that you would never do again?

Being the side chick.

35. What is you’re biggest insecurity & why?

Not being good enough. It can be traced back to my mom being a terrible mother.

36. What were the last 3 songs you listened to and what did they mean to you?

- Natacha Atlas - GAFSA. Because it’s in the soundtrack of 3Iron.

- Morcheeba - Over and over again. I find I’d perfectly fitting.

- Portishead - Wandering star. Because it remembers me of someone from my past.

37. Do you have a toy that’s really special to you and if so what is it, how did you get it etc?

I had a plush of a rhino called Mr. Turkelton [Scrubs reference] that was so dear to me. It’s with my ex, we bought it together and he kept it. Still miss him tho.

38. Have you lost anyone close to you to death?

My mother in law. She was more of a mom to me than my own mother.

39. What is your purpose in life?

Being happy and create beautiful things.

40. When was the last time you cried and what was it over?

I do not remember, but I guess it was during my mil’s funeral.

41. If you got to spend an entire day with your favourite celebrity what would you guys do?

I would love to spend a day with the Mass Effect’s cast playing the game!

42. If you could only listen to one artist for the rest of your life, who would you choose and why?

Tool. Because I’m a masochist.

43. What are 3 traits that you like about yourself and what are three that you dislike about yourself? Personality wise.

Likes:

- Being open minded.

- Being stubborn.

- Being so will powered.

Dislikes:

- Being insecure.

- Being so unable to handle rage that I keep extremely calm until the moment I explode and get cruel and violent.

- Being unable to let go of things that enrage me.

44. Can you cook? If so what are your favorite dishes to make?

I’m pretty good at it. I love to make fresh pasta.

45. What was the last decision you regretted making?

Drinking that glass of milk, now my stomach hurts.

46. Who’s opinion of yourself do you value the most?

Mine. And then my husband’s. I don’t care of no one else’s opinion.

47. What’s the nastiest thing you’ve ever said to another human being and what drove you to say it?

I demolished a guy who was in love with me telling him exactly what I knew it would break him. I did it because he tried to act like I was his property and then got aggressive when I didn’t act accordingly.

48. What’s the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to YOU? Or something that’s hurt you above anything else and why?

Nasty things don’t get to me, I don’t listen to what people say, especially when it comes from someone I don’t care for or I despise. The things that hurt me the most was saying goodbye to someone I was not ready to let go.

49. You can ask your favourite celebrity 3 questions and she’s taken a magical truth pill so she will 100% answer honestly, what do you ask?

Maybe some technical stuff, Idk. I have no ‘favorite celebrity ‘ so...

50. What mark would you want to leave on this world after you are gone?

I don’t care about leaving a mark in a dying world tbh.

51. What makes you most angry?

Liars, incoherent people, delusional people, copycats.

52. Who do you think is a really underrated artist and what do you love about them?

There are a lot of really underrated artists out there trying their very best and being bashed by online algorithms. Support the artists you like!

53. What are the main qualities you look for when thinking about a significant other?

Intelligence, honesty and having moral values.

54. What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?

The first that comes to mind is waiting at home for me to return with a hot bath ready and a bed full of rose petals. It’s a cliche,Iknow. But I was young and in love.

55. What is one of your favorite memories?

I have so many, but thinking about the past makes me feel bittersweet.

56. What do you do when you really want to impress someone?

I just act normal, if they’re impressed, good. If not, it’s ok.

57. What are your 3 favourite animals and why?

- Snakes: They’re so fascinating.

- Crows: they’re extremely intelligent.

- Sharks: natural born predators.

58. What’s the nicest present you’ve ever received?

A trip to Paris and a trip to Disneyland.

59. People always go around saying ‘oh I’m their biggest fan’, but what does being a truly big fan of someone mean to you?

Idk, I just like people. I don’t obsess over them.

I obsess over things I like, but not over some individual I don’t know.

60. Have you ever wanted to change anything about your life? If so, what?

I want more money XD

61. What is something you feel like you are really good at?

Drawing. Hopefully making music, but it’s way to early to say.

62. What is something you feel like you can get better at?

Drawing, there’s always room for improving.

63. What is something you feel like you are really bad at?

Hiding when I despise someone. And bowling.

64. If you were given $3,000,000 to put towards 3 charities/foundations ($1 mil each obvs), what would you choose and why?

Wildlife protection, animal shelters, planet’s preservation.

65. What’s one thing someone has done for you that was really small but made a huge impact?

My roommates came back from Xmas holidays one day earlier to have dinner with me because I was alone. And another brought me Xmas dinner a few days before.

66. What do you do when you can’t sleep?

I work :/

67. What’s something that’s on your bucket list?

Make a nice home studio.

68. If you could change 3 things within your government, what would they be and why?

I would actually change the opponent party. They’re dreadful.

69. What’s your favourite holiday and why?

Xmas, because it feels like happiness.

70. What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? Even if it’s TINY like holding a door open for you, something that you rememer even though they were a complete stranger.

A stranger helped me when my nose was bleeding like crazy and I was alone in a mall. He also bought me an orange juice.

71. Who’s your favorite cartoon character?

Motoko Kusanagi.

72. What’s the first song that comes to your mind while reading this and why?

Reptile - NIN. Don’t know why.

73. Put the 7 deadly sins in order of the one you commit the most to the least.

Wrath - Lust - Pride - Sloth - Greed - Gluttony - Envy.

74. What would you like to be the first dance song at your wedding?

I’m already married and we danced over Christian Woman by Type 0 Negative XD

75. Have you ever been told you look like a famous person, if so, who?

Someone told me I look like Butterfly from Death Proof and like Amy Lee from Evancescence.

I really don’t see it.

76. What’s one thing you can not live without?

Art. And music.

77. What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone?

Going away.

78. Do you hate someone.

No, I dislike a lot of people, I think the world would be better off if some of them would die, it I do not hate them.

79. What are 3 things that have happened in your life that you’ve never forgotten? Big or small, just things you know you won’t ever forget and still seem crystal clear now.

- Almost dying.

- Getting married.

- Signing for my very first house.

80. What comes first to you out of friendships and relationships, and why?

They’re equally important.

81. What’s your favourite children’s tv show/movie?

Muppets: a Christmas Carol.

82. What song makes you cry the most?

Together we will live forever - Clint Mansell.

83. What’s the funniest film you’ve ever seen?

Operation Petticoat.

84. What’s something crazy that you’ve always wanted to do?

Trying human flesh.

85. Has anything ever happened to you that you just can’t forgive?

A lot. Just, a lot.

86. What’s your biggest fear?

Being abandoned.

87. What is your favorite food?

Red meat, pistachio ice cream.

88. Least favorite food? Why?

Celery.

89. Have you ever felt ashamed about something? If so what was it & why?

Not that I recall of.

90. Do you keep a journal? If so what mostly goes in it? Random thoughts, feelings, stories?

I always keep a journal, I write in it pretty much everything, dreams, feelings, ideas, thoughts.

91. When was the last time you said something nice to someone & what made you do it?

This morning to my husband, because he deserves it.

92. How do you feel when someone says something mean/disrespectful towards your fave celeb?

Couldn’t care less? Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, even if it’s a shitty one.

93. What’s the saddest story/one that’s touched you the most that you’ve ever heard on the news?

Milena Quaglini’s.

94. If you were told you were going to have 3 daughters, what would you want to name them?

Violante, Lavinia and Artemisia.

95. Do you have a middle name and if so, what is it?

I have two. Valeria and Maria.

96. How did your name get chosen? What’s the story behind it?

My dad found it in a sci-fi book back when he was a teenager. It was the name of the first baby girl born on the moon.

97. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for each of your faves e.g. waiting in line for hours, getting up early to see them on tv etc?

I watched a streaming reunion in the middle of the night on N7 day.

98. Are you a virgin?

No.

99. What are the stories behind your tattoos/piercings and if you don’t have any, would you like any?

I have wings because I’ve always been obsessed with winged figures and angels.

I have a lot of movies/books quotes because they all means something to me.

I have cherry petals because of Hagakure.

The snowflake is the reminder of a very important person.

The moth is for my self destructive tendencies.

The witch is a homage to me.

The strawberry is a silly Adventure Time reference.

The snake is a biblical reference to both Lilith and Satan.

The Santa Muerte and the black goat are both linked to my beliefs.

100. Do you want to say something to the world?

Stop being stupid, stop making stupid people famous, open a book.

[drewwwbydoobydoo]

If you're feeling up to it, why not just answer all of the 65 questions from the ask list?

Ok here goes haha

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Yeah for sure, but at this point I just figure I can’t do a whole lot about it so I’m just rolling with whatever is the truth (basically the same thing as us maybe being in a simulation, I don’t think the answer really matters)

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Like 4 or 5, I’m very scared of the dark tbh I get super paranoid sometimes

3. The person you would never want to meet? Mike Pence

4. What is your favorite word? Exuberance or effulgent

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? A maple tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? Bleh

7. What shirt are you wearing? A gray shirt from a hackathon I did last year

8. What do you label yourself as? A creative, a student, a future teacher, a lesbian, a human

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Talking to my dad about child psychology

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 18

12. Who told you they loved you last? My mom

13. Your worst enemy? The US government

14. What is your current desktop picture? A drawing that someone did of a mountain landscape

15. Do you like someone? Yeee my partner!

16. The last song you listened to? Rollercoaster by The Orion Experience

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? The dictator of the US

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Same as #17

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Same as #17, and I would just try to fix as many things that he’s done as I could lol

20. What is your best physical attribute? I really like my eyes! They’re gray and I think that’s pretty cool

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? I feel like honestly I would look approximately the same, or like my brother lol though we already look pretty similar. I’d just continue existing, idk I don’t think I’d do anything differently cause gender is funky

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Yes! I can write in a whole bunch of different fonts by hand really easily (like I can switch between fonts without having to write slower or think too much about it)

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Ok so like I’m really afraid of small heights but not big heights. For some reason heights like doing a ropes course or trapeze absolutely terrify me but I’m totally fine like on a tall mountain or in a plane

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Maple tempeh with hummus, avocado, tomato and lettuce on wheat bread sounds 10/10 rn

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? I’d donate it to the Transgender Law Center

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Hmmmmm I wouldn’t go on a plane because we’re still in a pandemic but theoretically if this were a normal time I’d probably go somewhere in Canada

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? I don’t drink alcohol so I’m good!

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Freedom of speech (with the exception of hate speech)

29. What is your favorite expletive? Asshat, mainly cause I think it’s kinda funny

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? My laptop, I have too many photos and files that I don’t want to lose

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Getting blackmailed by my brother

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Canada here we come!

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? My cat, Clara. She was the absolute sweetest being that has ever graced this planet, and she was my only true friend for many years

34. What was your last dream about? The commune that I lived at last summer

35. Are you a good listener? I think so? I try to be, especially since I took some workshops in nonviolent communication and how to be a better listener and I think those were really helpful!

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? No but I probably should have been

37. Have you ever built a snowman? Yeah

38. What is the color of your socks? Light blue

39. What type of music do you like? Idk a lot of stuff I guess? Musical soundtracks, indie rock, pop-rock, etc.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!!!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Vanilla (boring, I know lol)

42. What football team do you support? Idk any sports teams :/

43. Do you have any scars? Yeah, many

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I mean like theoretically I would love to be a painter but realistically I’m gonna become an elementary school teacher

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Bruh how tf do I choose just one??? Uhhhhhh honestly I would get rid of my uterus I don’t want it and it just causes pain

46. Are you reliable? Yeah, very

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? Which career path do I end up on?

48. Do you hold grudges? Yeah, only about big things though

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? I’d breed cats and rabbits together to create: cabbits

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? One time me and one of my friends were laying on the floor of our dorm’s common room and we were talking about a bunch of fucked up stuff we’ve done (like not necessarily bad things, but just like those weird, “are you ok?” kind of things)

51. Are you a good liar? Yeah actually! I don’t know how, but I'm a really good liar if I genuinely want to lie about something. 

52. How long could you go without talking? A very long time. Singing would be a drastically different answer though

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? When I first cut my hair short when I was 16, it was just a very awkward length and I didn’t know what was happening

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Yeah I actually baked one yesterday

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? I can kinda do a southern accent

56. What do you like on your toast? Vegan butter and roasted garlic mmmmm

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? Roman Sanders lol

58. What would be you dream car? I’ve always wanted a light blue convertible, like as long as I can remember I’ve had this very specific car in mind that I know I’d never actually buy but in theory would be very cool

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Sometimes I sing in the shower, also I used to sit down while showering lol

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yeah, I don’t have any specific theories but I think there’s probably some other intelligent life out there

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Not really

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? E

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dragons

64. What do you think about babies? Amazing, I was one once

This was fun! Kinda therapeutic tbh lol

[wolfgangism]

hello!! im kavi, he/they, 19, and im in the est timezone. i’m usually in class or in the lab during the day but i’ll be here in the night and i’m always accessible on discord! this is my kiddo, wolf. if you wanna plot just smash that like button and i’ll IM you here ( but i prefer discord ( so if you wanna shoot me a message instead, my username is greedling#3129 )) . ok lets get into this but before i start rambling: TRANS RIGHTS !!

APPLICATION

∽∕  [ JEON JEONGGUK, AGENDER, THEY/THEM ] hey! you must be that [ TWENTY-TWO ] year old player people were talking about! they kept saying your name is [ WOLFGANG JAEGAL ], but that you go by [ WOLF ], and that you’re a [ INTRIM ] and from [ LOS ANGELES ]. oh! and also that you’ve been working as a [ HORROR WRITER ] while you’re in here. I really hope it’s true, ‘cus i’ve also heard that you’re [ IMAGINATIVE ] & [ COURAGEOUS ], but i’m not going to lie that some say you’re [ UNORGANIZED ] & [ IRRESPONSIBLE ]. wait a second…now that I think about it, you kind of remind me of [ BLINKING NEON LIGHTS, FRUSTRATED TYPING, AND HEARTBEATS QUICKENING AT A JUMP SCARE ], which is pretty cool! see you around then!  ∕∽

TRIGGER WARNINGS: DISCUSSION OF TRANSITIONING, MENTIONS OF CHEATING, DRUG USE

STATISTICS

► basics;

birth name (f, l): daeun jaegal legal name (f, l): wolfgang jaegal age: 22 birthday: may 16 gender: agender (afab) sexual orientation: pan occupation: horror author main realm: they don’t really have a main one, they go everywhere. ► background;

place of birth: canada current residence: los angeles, california education: bachelor’s in creative writing ► physical;

faceclaim: jeon jeongguk eye color: dark brown-black  hair color & style: dark brown, that long-ish haire that jjk has rn.. yea height: 5′9 weight: 153 lb tattoos, birthmarks, scars, etc: scars on chest where they had top surgery. in game: everything is the same except they have ‘typical’ cismale anatomy. they are interested in modifications but haven’t really found anything that interests them yet.

► personality;

positive traits: imaginative, courageous, adventurous, persuasive,  negative traits: reckless, unorganized, irresponsible, stubborn alignment: chaotic good more: wolf is not one to feel regretful. they live in the moment and stand by every statement and action they make. act first, think later. willing to try anything once. will never back down from a challenge. pits themself against their own mortality. facade of being fearless. high spirited mischief maker. 

► misc;

hobbies: gaming, watching/reading horror movies favorite book: if asked directly, they would say their own first published novel, but really it’s carmilla by joseph sheridan le fanu favorite music genre: wolf is the type of person to listen to game and movie soundtracks pets: can barely take care of themself, you think they’re going to have a pet?

BIOGRAPHY

wolf was born daeun jaegal. their biological mother wasn’t prepared for children, not when she had college to finish and when her boyfriend (& wolf’s biological father) was flaky at best. she gave wolf up to her older cousin who couldn’t have biological children of her own. she took wolf in with welcoming arms and raised them as her own child. wolf grew up calling her mom and her husband dad. their biological mother visited often, and eventually told them the story.

when wolf reached the age of five, they began to feel very uncomfortable with themself. when they told this to their mom, she took it seriously and they began to discuss what was going on. around this time, she started referring to them with they/them pronouns and noticed that they were a lot happier in general.

for financial reasons, wolf was unable to go under puberty blockers. instead, when they reached 12, they went with their parents to get their first name legally changed. due to their recent fascination with classical music and wolves.... they decided on the name wolfgang. their mom only agreed to it because they would be able to shorten it to wolf (which they do. the only place their full name appears is on the cover of their books. theyre sort of embarrassed by it but much too lazy to actually go and get it changed again or to even come up with another name).

at 16, their parents surprised them with testosterone. they actually cried. 

at 18, their first boyfriend (who was filthy rich) surprised them with the money that wolf needed to get top surgery. they cried equally as much this time, if not more. 

while all this was happening, at fifteen, wolf actually began on the first draft of their first book. it was really really rough but it was a start. they had an interest in horror since they were a kid. before they started the draft, writing had been one of their only outlets in life. they’d tried singing and music but unfortunately, they were tone deaf and couldnt hold a note for their life. poetry and songwriting wasnt their calling either. what they excelled at, however, was scaring his classmates to death with their short stories.

their first book was published when they were nineteen. it got very popular very quickly and is currently being produced into a movie.

their second book was published just last year right before graduating college and was just as popular as the first. they actually had little to no inspiration for this one. they took lsd a few times at parties, which helped them come up with some ideas. they havent told anyone and they intend it to stay that way.

right after that, they ended the relationship with their boyfriend since highschool (the same one who got them top surgery). their relationship for the past few years had been on/off at best due to wolf suspecting him of cheating, which he was doing. the break up was messy and ended with wolfgang crying for the third time in their life. 

they were thrown into a pretty bad depression, and tried writing again but it was fruitless. nothing they were writing was clicking and people had high expectations that they were afraid they couldnt meet. this also influenced their dysphoria. drug use and drinking increased, and mixing with testosterone was not good at all. they ended up in the hospital after a particularly bad night.

they refused any and all treatment.

wolf decided to use utopia as an escape from life and a way to enjoy themself without worrying about real life. they are also using it to gather inspiration for a new book because they are nothing without their writing. their mom is taking care of their real body.

that’s really all i have. i can’t think of anything else but im surely missing something that i’ll add at a later point. i’ll upload a connections page later. if you made it this far then congrats! heres a gif of them thinking very hard.

[blogs-a-clusterfuck]

all 65 questions

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?Like aliens? Because no. There has to be another species out in the universe 2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?1, the dark doesn’t scare me 3. The person you would never want to meet?Donald trump 4. What is your favorite word?Fuck5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?I’d like to say a birch or maybe cherry blossom tree6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?Damn I love my new piercing 7. What shirt are you wearing?None, I’m in the bath rn8. What do you label yourself as?Not really sure tbh. But I’m a girl9. Bright room or dark room?Dark room10. What were you doing at midnight last night?Baking a whole ass pan of brownies and apple pie11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?Probably now honestly. I’ve had more fun being 18 and 19 then any other age, but 19 by far has been great12. Who told you they loved you last?My friend Alissa 13. Your worst enemy?I can’t think of one tbh. I try not to stay mad at people. Unless it’s my roommate because he makes me so mad and I make him super mad14. What is your current desktop picture?It’s just a blue background but it was Shawn Mendes 15. Do you like someone?No not right now. I did but I’m over it16. The last song you listened to?God is a women by Ariana Grande 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?No one? I don’t want to kill someone. Idk maybe hitler?18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?Trump 19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?Shawn Mendes 😂 and just hang with me 20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)Ummmm I like my smile and recently I’ve really liked my cheekbones somereason?21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?I’d look like a boy? And honestly I’d just do shit with my dick. Like go pee somewhere standing up, look at it. I’m curious what it’s like to have sex and not worry about pregnancy 🤷🏻‍♀️22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?I don’t think so?23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?Lightning, like severely 24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.Steak and cheese25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?I wouldn’t I’d save that shit or actually maybe get a tattoo26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?Australia 27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?Mikes hard lemonade in black cherry. Ugh I want to live off that stuff28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? No being mean29. What is your favorite expletive?Fuck and any variation ex. Fuckface, fucker, fuck ass, etc.30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?My phone.31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Oh jeez. Maybe like one of my memories between my dad and I 32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!Is this a question? I’d move to Europe probably 33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?My little brother34. What was your last dream about?It was about me getting super drunk and hooking up with my roommate/neighbor from my dorm (which half happened I just wasn’t drunk 😬😬)35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?Listener? I like to think so.36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?No37. Have you ever built a snowman?Yes38. What is the color of your socks?I have none on39. What type of music do you like?Pretty much everything 40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?Sunsets cause then you see stars41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?Coffee or mint42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)Patriots 43. Do you have any scars?Yeah a lot44. What do you want to be when you graduate?Hopefully a children’s psychiatrist 45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?My weight46. Are you reliable?Yes47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?How do you feel/how’s life did it get better48. Do you hold grudges?I try not too, I don’t think I have any 49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?A big bumblebee house pet50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?My fucking group chat with my roommate Sarah and the roommate/neighbor from the question above. It’s so fucking weird and a lot of personal things are said without any care 😅51. Are you a good liar?When I need to be52. How long could you go without talking?Not long 53. What has been you worst haircut/style?When I was like 10 I cut my hair too short54. Have you ever baked your own cake?Yes55. Can you do any accents other than your own?Not really 56. What do you like on your toast?Butter, peanut butter or nutella57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?Uhhhh I think a bunny at work?58. What would be you dream car?I don’t really have one but I’d like a Jeep limo59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.I sing and dance all the time60. Do you believe in aliens?Yes61. Do you often read your horoscope?All the time62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?I think a cursive z63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?DINOSAURS64. What do you think about babies?I love them but I only want one I think.65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.I didn’t get a question

[mydarlingfelix]

Get to know me tag(s)!

Tagged by: @hyunjinh  @felox-the-great @jaeffreyy @squishywoojin @welcometochanskitchen @dabkingfelix @mosquitofelix

Hi! I’m Summer btw (Ik it’s not in my bio), but I just go by Sum or other nicknames lol *I also just put multiple “get to know me” tags in 1 lol THIS IS A SUPER LONG POST IM SORRY However thank you for tagging me!! I Love you all soOoOo much!

Bold Thingy Tag

1ST RULE: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I think everyone done this already fkjdjgb

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair (idk it’s growing) - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month (Lucy wanted to be drawn for her bday and I did a watercolor portrait thing ig? for her) - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol- I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event- I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling (I have like 5)- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity (?) - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship (not a healthy one at least)- I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily (It’s disgusting, wtf is wrong with me. I don’t need feels) - I have had a crush for over a year (Umm kinda he’s just really really cute. I talked to Dain about this before) - I have been in a relationship for over a year (but not currently) - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

Alphabet Soup Tag

A: Age - “I’m 19, you fight me?” B: Birthplace - Cali C: Current time - As I’m during this 1:26pm D: Drink you had last - Water, but also Thai Tea Boba E: Easiest person to talk to - F: Favorite song - None G: Grossest memory - My cousin’s and I were doing a auntie and niece day and went theMall and I saw this girl throw up on the second floor in Forever 21. I felt sorry for the workers...  H: Hogwarts house - G I: in love? - nah, never gonna happen J: Jealous of people? - It’s only a human aspect, you’re only truly horrible if you do something nasty to others because of that feeling K: Killed someone? - Not yet lmfao L: Love at first sight or should I walk by again? - No thank you M: Middle name - Summer N: Number of siblings - 5 O: One wish - None P: Person you called last - My mom Q: Question you are always asked - Idk tbvh R: Reason to smile - Idk things make me happy S: Song you sang last - The Unit No way (I dont remember the unit colors)  T: Time you woke up - 6:43am  U: Underwear color - White  V: Vacation destination - South Korea, Japan, & idk the other one, but honestly my goal is to visit all my mutuals before I died lmfaooo W: Worst habit - Not caring, sleeping in, getting distracted easily, being anixious all the time.  X: X-rays - Teeth Y: Your favorite food - I have a lot... Z: Zodiac sign - Gemini

🥛 Colour(s) I’m currently wearing: Black... Just a lot of black (I need to stop wearing sm black omg)  🍥 Last band t-shirt I bought: I don’t ever buy clothes for myself, idk when was last time? Maybe during the Got7 concert?  🥛 Last band I saw live: Got7 (Fly In LA: Day 1) and Paradise (A Hmong Band)  🍥 Last song I listened to: Rn I’m listening to The Unit’s Cherry on Top  🥛 Lipstick or chapstick: Idk... I wear lip tints.  🍥 Last movie I watched: Ever Wonder? (idk it’s a true story about the creation of wonder women)  🥛 Last 3 TV shows I watched: Wanna One Go, Wanna One x Aimgo TV, and The Unit 🍥 Last 3 characters I identified with: Kora, Steven Universe, & Ken Kaneki (idk for this part, I never thought about this fkdfdkgd)  🥛 Book I’m currently reading: Books for my classes njfdkjd 

What’s my name? (Imma just put my initials) 

M. S. L.

What’s my nickname?

Sum, SumSum, SumShine, Summahh Girl, Tsumdere, Chee, 

How old am I?

“I’m 19, you fight me?”

What got me into Kpop?

SJ- Sorry Sorry, but Got7 made me offically stay and learning everything about the kpop fandom

What’s my favourite Kpop group?

Rn W1 (the most)

Who’s my ultimate bias?

Park Jihoon

What groups/artists do I stan?

Too many to count, you all can ask my personally if you want lol

What groups/artists do I casually listen to?

A lot, I try to be diverse, but what’s good music is good music to me. Feel free to suggest me some :D

What artists do I listen to that aren’t Kpop?

Ahh I’m lazy, but just good sounding music. Calvin Harris just popped up in my head. fknfkjskfnj 

Who’s my bias and bias wrecker from my ultimate group(s)?

Omfg

Wanna One: Park Jihoon & Kang Daniel

JBJ: Kim Donghan & ??? (They’re all messing me up rn)

SK: Felix & I think Hyunjin? Idk

What’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum?

It’s recently been Chungha’s roller coaster lol and The Unit songs  

What are your favourite flower/tree/plant (all 3 or whatever you have an answer to)?

I really love plants and flowers in general, however Peonies are one of my many faves!! 

Favourite colour(s)?

Pink, blue, purple, black, white, and gray

What do you always doodle (if you ever do)?

Umm yeah I always doodling, but I try not to because I want to be able to focus in class haha. 

How do you take your coffee/tea? If you don’t like those what’s your fav warm drink?

It probably like 20% coffee and 80% french vanilla cream nfksjfgsbjg sometimes I add a lil milk too 

Favourite candle scent?

Anything flowery, but i really like sweet pea smell lol. I don’t any candles yet, so I don’t quite know which I like more yet. Soorrryy

Sunrise or Sunset?

Sunset! The colors are soo pretty and like it doesn’t require me to wake up from my sleep lmfao. The transitions of day and night it just so beautiful! and the stars that start peeking through the dark sky! 

What perfume do you wear if any?

I don’t wear perfume? I have them at home but in my opinion I feel like if you’ve showered and smell nice why try to mix more scents onto you?? and I don’t really need it? DONT WORRY I AM CLEAN NFJSNJF idk if I make any sense

What’s your go to dance move when you’re alone?

-

Favourite quote?

“The moon is friend for the lonesome to talk to.” ― Carl Sandburg 

&  “We ran as if to meet the moon.” ― Robert Frost  

& also 

“The moon and stars just for you my love” - Me lol 

Favourite self care thing(s) or routine(s)?

Umm... Drawing. Showering and putting a face mask afterwards. Painting my nails. It’s more like small things, especially like painting my nails and drawings are things I can’t do often because I try to focus on school, because ik I’m bad at focusing. Sleeping and reminding to just eat, when I get too busy and focused I tend to skip meals. njfkdsnfj s

Fuzzy socks or House slippers?

OMFG BOTH THAT’S LIKE THE BEST COMBO! I have these pinky and purple house slippers I got aND IT’S FUZZY KSFJ SK IT’S SOOO CUTE OMG!! I love. nfjdnfd 

What colour are your eyes? 

Dark Brown

What’s your favourite eye colour on others?

Hazel, black, and gray

Favourite season? why?

Autumn and Winter (Ik contradicts with my name) but I love the rain! and cloudy weather! The sound of rain is calming and being inside while hearing the rain is nice. I really love Spring too when the flowers begin to bloom and like it’s a fresh type of feeling when spring hits lol.

Cheek, neck or nose kisses?

SJFNKFS Honestly depends on my mood  (´•/// ω \\\•`) but I like cheek kisses because softtt

What does your happy place look like?

My room on a rainy day with my fairy lights flickering

Favourite breed of dog?

YO OKAY SO I SAW THIS FB POST ABOUT THIS DOG BEAR AND I WANT A DOG BEAR IDK WHAT THEY’RE CALLED JKFDFHKSF. My dad is a dog breeder as a side business, so I grew up with pitbulls, pocket pits, american bull dogs, frenches, and now ‘exotics’ are the trend atm. 

Do you ever want to be married? If so what colours would you pick for your wedding theme?

Umm yes and no? I’m not sure. If I have an American wedding I like to stick to a traditional white with maybe a peach and light pink here and there, but for sure I would love to do a traditional Hmong wedding. 

Silk or Lace?

Silk feels nice, but I like lace too :)

Favorite weather?

SF type of weather 

[nekoabi]

ALL 65

*cracks thumbs* Let’s do this!

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nah - I think… This question is hurting my brain…

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?Probably like a 1.25, so like a lil but not a lot.

3. The person you would never want to meet?The person who is to kill me, probs

4. What is your favorite word?Lousy is a nice word to say

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?Crab Apple Tree, because it is described as having an “irregular, rounded shape”

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?Ughhh… why am I awake so early…

7. What shirt are you wearing?My “All Hail the Glowcloud” shirt from the most recent WTNV tour

8. What do you label yourself as?Edgy

9. Bright room or dark room?Dark Room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?Thinking about sending my mum a birthday message, and talking with @illisienthar

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?Actually, my current age, 21 - I’m actually kinda enjoying life a little more

12. Who told you they loved you last?@illisienthar, I think

13. Your worst enemy?This one guy who I cannot stand the voice of and just his general demeanour gets on my last freaking nerve… also he was a racist piece of shit one time and he makes me uncomfortable… 

14. What is your current desktop picture?This gorgeous piece of artwork by ryky

15. Do you like someone?I mean, yeah… I kinda always do…

16. The last song you listened to?But It’s Better If You Do - Panic! At The Disco

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?Um… can I do a cop-out and say the next person who is about to die so that way I’m not really fully responsible for their death as they were about to die that second anyway????

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?Nigel Farage… but then that would mean a) getting near him and b) touching his person. I’ll go with… @seventhdisaster instead ;)

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?@seventhdisaster and he would do anything i told him to!

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)My hair, 100%, no thought needed lmao

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?Short, ginger, long hair, slight chub - I’d probably freak out and be like “what why”

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?I mean, I can fit my fist in my mouth? Does that count? #mypartytrick

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?I guess I’m pretty unique in that I’m seemingly afraid of almost everything… Whoops?

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.White Bread, Ketchup, Sliced Turkey Meat, Ready Salted Crisps. Boom. Sounds gross to some, fucking delicious m8s.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?Probably on stuff to make cosplay since I’m really in that mood rn.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?Australia, so I can see my good friend @alreadyentendu

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?Ummm… well, I don’t drink to the point of barely knowing anything about alcohol. If I could make a deal to get a lifetime supply of Irn Bru, then that would be my choice.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? #nodeathallowed

29. What is your favorite expletive?fuck - its so versatile 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?Laptop. Easy question.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Oh boy, probably my horrendous experience singing at the local Waitrose back in year 11 where I fucking forgot all the words, forgot the entire song, had classmates all around me - both in the group that were singing and working at the store, and also my cousin around to hear it all… Ughhh, still can’t listen to What’s This? without dying inside…

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!Probs Norway, it’s really pretty and I really like it there (plz take me in @seventhdisaster @t2norway)

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?Am I heartless for wanting to pick my cat over my grandma? I would go with grandma tho, would make my dad very happy

34. What was your last dream about?Uhhh… the last one I can remember was a friend and myself being chased by police, me hiding in a house that i apparently lived in, being caught in there by my “mother” and being kicked out, sneaking back into the house, getting caught and being hidden by a “brother” and then being caught AGAIN by “mother”. Then the police come and search the room (for some reason) and they are expecting to find something incriminating about myself and find a drawer that is splattered with red paint or something and they think it’s blood and i try to prove my innocence and stuff, ends with me waking up in tears… I forgot some details, but you get the gist

35. Are you a good….showman?LMAOOOOO NOPE, at least I don’t think so… I can be alright once I get used to it, but most of the time I’m p. bad (excluding when i’m being a showman to hide how i really feel inside)

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?Not really “admitted”, but I did have to go in for a blood test once and that was horrendous

37. Have you ever built a snowman?Yeah, once… it wasn’t the prettiest, but it was fun!

38. What is the color of your socks?WHO NEEDS SOCKS?! but usually they’re multicoloured/patterned

39. What type of music do you like?I guess Alternative/Emo/Goth is the best label for it, anything that’s kinda heavy is good for me

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?Sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?I don’t like milkshakes… or milk in general… I know, I’m a freak

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)What’s a sport? 

43. Do you have any scars?I have a scar near the tip of my index finger where I cut myself with safety scissors during Sports Day once.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?Working with live Sound for performances or Stage Management, or propping

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?Probably be thinner without having to work for it

46. Are you reliable?I’d like to think I am, I do what I say I am going to most of the time - and usually a lil early, if I can

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?Am I still with The Internet Support Group?

48. Do you hold grudges?I can do, but it’s all relative and I do try to give people second chances - but I am likely to not forget what they did…

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?A Fox Cat!

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?Possibly discussions about death that I have with a fair amount of people

51. Are you a good liar?Probably… I’ve not been caught yet

52. How long could you go without talking?I’ve been a full day or so without talking before, and I could probably do longer - I’m gonna put myself at like 3 days, maybe

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?My fringe with the middle parting… Ughhhh

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?Once or twice in Cooking class.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?Haaaaaaaaa accents are not my thing at all!

56. What do you like on your toast?Nutella

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?A heart

58. What would be you dream car?One that works!!

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.I sing in the shower when I am alone in the house. As for unusual habits, I’ve been told it’s weird that I don’t face the shower.

60. Do you believe in aliens?Well, yeah… 

61. Do you often read your horoscope?When I see it, I’ll do it for a laugh

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?Ys are fun to write

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?Dragons! The crazy things that you can come up with for them, ahh! I love it!

64. What do you think about babies?Can be cute from a distance, not about to have any of my own!

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. How u doin?I’m doing alright, had a decent day overall

[diamond-anon]

Psst do all of the get to know me questions

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? it was a while go, with a girl i went on a date with to 6 flags

2. Are you outgoing or shy? very shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? my friend brook at school tomorrow and a camp friend in march

4. Are you easy to get along with? sort of

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? my ex best friend but we hardly talk

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? I tend to be attracted to other people with autism which is good for me

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? doubt it but id love it

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? not really anyone 

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not at all

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? my dad, we talked about M*A*S*H

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “thank you I’m so glad you enjoyed it”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? seasons of love, light my candle, belief, 

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? yes but only people I trust

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? sort of

15. What good thing happened this summer? I went to camp

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?absolutely

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? I think there is life in other universes so we cant reach them

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? ew no 

19. Do you like bubble baths? yes

20. Do you like your neighbors? I don’t trust either side 

21. What are you bad habits? I pull out my eyelashes and 

22. Where would you like to travel?

23. Do you have trust issues? very much so

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? warming my voice up in the morning

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my boobs. I don’t want them.

26. What do you do when you wake up? I cover my head up with blankets

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? not really

28. Who are you most comfortable around? I’m not completely comfortable with anyone 

29. Have any of your exs told you they regret breaking up? yes

30. Do you ever want to get married? yes but I don’t see that happening

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? nope I keep it short

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? laura osnes and Jeremy Jordan oops

33. Spell your name with your chin. duamonf

34. Do you play sports? What sports? I miss playing soccer

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yes pretty much constantly now

37. What do you say during awkward silences? I don’t feel the need to fill silence unless I’m nervous 

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? sweet, willing to help with my disabilities and someone to grow and build with

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? I like spencers bc its fun and hot topic bc merch 

40. What do you want to do after high school? I don’t know I didn’t see myself making it past 15 

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? depends on what they did

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? nothing… I’m usually quiet

43. Do you smile at strangers? I try to

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?outerspace

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

46. What are you paranoid about? almost everything 

47. Have you ever been high? two days ago 

48. Have you ever been drunk? I’m a literal alcoholic

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

51. Ever wished you were someone else? pretty much every day

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? probably that I’m autistic

53. Favourite makeup brand? I don’t wear makeup

54. Favourite store? I’m not sure

55. Favourite blog? I love too many but all the anons 

56. Favourite colour? red or black

57. Favourite food? Mexican or chinese

58. Last thing you ate? burrito

59. First thing you ate this morning? half a bagel

60. Ever won a competition? For what? yes I used to do well in spelling bees and my soccer team won a SoCal tournament

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? ive been suspended several times for fighting

62. Been arrested? For what? yes,having a weapon on me

63. Ever been in love? yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? it was with an asshole guy who broke up with me while i was in the hospital for a suicide attempt65. Are you hungry right now? no

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? yes, I don’t have many irl friends

67. Facebook or Twitter? neither

68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? sort of? I’m watching newsies on netflix

70. Names of your bestfriends? Kathryn, Megan, Brooke, Jason

71. Craving something? What? idk.. being loved

72. What colour are your towels? sort of a cream color

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? one and one body pillow to elevate my leg

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? I sleep with one

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I’m not sure, theyre all very small

75. Favourite animal? fox, elephant, hedgehog

76. What colour is your underwear? red

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? mint chocolate chip or peanut butter chocolate 

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? black

80. What colour pants? grey

81. Favourite tv show? M*A*S*H

82. Favourite movie? big hero 6

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? mean girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? 21 jump street

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? dory

87. First person you talked to today? megan

88. Last person you talked to today?

@avocado-anon

89. Name a person you hate? rainy

90. Name a person you love? idk

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? several

92. In a fight with someone? not rn

93. How many sweatpants do you have? last I checked I had 14

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 5

95. Last movie you watched? big hero 6

96. Favourite actress? all I can think of rn is laura osnes so her 

97. Favourite actor? Jeremy Jordan (I rewatched bonnie and clyde and I’m thinking about it)

98. Do you tan a lot? I don’t like the sun. it makes my head hurt

99. Have any pets? a dog

100. How are you feeling? not good

101. Do you type fast? very

102. Do you regret anything from your past? a lot

103. Can you spell well? when I write yes, not outloud

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? very much

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yes

106. Ever broken someones heart? yes, when I broke up with my abuser

107. Have you ever been on a horse? I work with them so very often

108. What should you be doing? painting a poster for my friends birthday

109. Is something irritating you right now? that I cant think clearly

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yes

111. Do you have trust issues? very much

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? my therapist

113. What was your childhood nickname? I did but I’m not going to tell you

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? only to mexico

115. Do you play the Wii? yes 

116. Are you listening to music right now? yes I’m listening to my musicals playlist

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? of course

118. Do you like Chinese food? LOVE IT

119. Favourite book? the perks of being a wallflower

120. Are you afraid of the dark? nope I love it

121. Are you mean? kind of

122. Is cheating ever okay? no

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? not at all

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? no

125. Do you believe in true love? yeah

126. Are you currently bored? yes

127. What makes you happy? singing

128. Would you change your name? already have

129. What your zodiac sign? capricorn

130. Do you like subway? ew no

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? ask them out

132. Whos the last person you had a deep conversation with? my dad

133. Favourite lyrics right now? all the lyrics from you will be found

134. Can you count to one million? technically I can but I don’t want to

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? that I’m straight

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? I can only sleep w doors closed

137. How tall are you? 5 1

138. Curly or Straight hair? i like straight hair

139. Brunette or Blonde? I like blonde

140. Summer or Winter? winter

141. Night or Day? night

142. Favourite month? january

143. Are you a vegetarian? no

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? dark chocolate

145. Tea or Coffee? coffe

146. Was today a good day? fuck no

147. Mars or Snickers? snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote? yeet yeet chicken feet

149. Do you believe in ghosts? yes i see them

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, whats the first line on that page? “tell me about darry” from the outsiders

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #243

honestly too lazy to think up random song lyrics here, so just have the survey.

What is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? Nothing. You look at the clock and it’s 11:11, do you wish? I never do, no. How do you think you will look 3 years from now? I pray the fuck to god I'm finally at a weight I want. And of course more tattoos and piercings. And colored hair. What would be number one on your bucket list? Meet, thank, and hug Mark profusely while ugly crying. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I don't know. You get a text message. who do you hope it is? Sara. Are there any songs that you hear that just make you wanna dance? Not really, no. Do you get any of your songs from Limewire? lol how old is this... but no. I did when it was "the thing," though. You and your best friend get in a fight. Why do you think that is? I don't know. Probably said something that came across wrong over a text. What is your biggest annoyance at the time? Financial shit. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Apologize to him if he's even okay with me speaking a word to him and then letting him on his way because I don't want to make him think I'm still stuck on him. I'd wanna know how things are in his life, but I don't want him to get the wrong impression. It'd be better for both of us. Have/are you depressed? I mean I'm diagnosed with depression, but it's well-managed. At the moment I'm not *depressed*, no. Did you grow up in the United States? Yeah. Never left it, even. Do you call anybody "baby"? Besides my cat and snake, no. Who is the one person you can completely be yourself around? Sara. Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yeah. Do you wear earrings on a normal basis? No. How old were you when you realized that life goes on? I don't know... This is such a vague question. But I guess probably when a childhood cat disappeared or died sometime in elementary school. Are your parent’s night owls or morning birds? Well, I don't live with Dad, but Mom is a night owl more than a morning bird for sure. She can be so grouchy in the morning. Do you like to sing? Eh. Who is your favorite author? *shrugs* I don't read enough. How many pillows are on your bed? Two. What’s your favorite thing about the holidays? Seeing my niece and nephew so excited. What is your favorite type of cake? Red velvet, baby. How many rings do you wear on a day-to-day basis? One. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? Multiple times. Probably WOULDN'T have been multiple if the psych hospitals here were worth a damn. Went to the same one like five-six times and one other and both sucked. It was a partial hospitalization program, WHICH ISN'T AS "SERIOUS" AS AN ACTUAL FUCKING PSYCH HOSPITALIZATION, that saved my ass. What’s your favorite brand of flavored water? None. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you take birth control pills? Not anymore, no. I was only on them for serious period pain, but as of recently my psychiatrist wanted to test out how I do mood-wise without them, especially as it was a regular occurrence for me to be borderline or actually suicidal the day before my cycle started, and the whole week leading up to it was sketchy. So far, I've been fine - I think even better. I was on it for years, and I mean your body changes, so. Do you like soy sauce? Noooooo no no no. Do you have a good doctor? My psychiatrist is literally the reason I'm alive. That's no exaggeration. I would've killed myself by now if it wasn't for him setting my medicine right. I know I would've. My therapist is great, and my primary physician is fine. What’s your favorite store to browse around? Morph Market, ahaha. I love looking at all the reptile morphs, especially the ball pythons. Do you ever meditate on Scripture? No. Do you like poetry? Yes. Do you have expensive tastes? Nah. What is your favorite color? Pink, particularly lighter hues. Have you ever made a scrapbook? Yeah, for a little while when I was younger. What is a question you get asked too much? If my lip piercing hurt. It doesn't bother me, I'm just asked it most. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten? Zeros on things I didn't do/missed. Who are your 3 closest friends? Sara, Girt, and uh... Chelsea, I think. Maybe Lisa. What is something you have always wanted to do? Travel somewhere cool/really memorable. What are you listening to? A playthrough of The Last Guardian. God, I wanna play it so badly. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? It's one of my favorites, omg. Are you in a relationship? No. Do you like the band Hollywood Undead? Yeah. Do you like Taco Bell? Only the quesadillas, THE CINNABON DELIGHT THINGS, and fiesta potatoes. Who was the first person you spoke to today? My mom. Who was the last? I was just texting the woman who adopted Kaiju; she's catching me up on how she's doing, and apparently great! We're trying to plan a day for me to come see her. :> Have you told anyone you loved them today? Yeah. What song is stuck in your head right now? You mentioned HU, now "Bullet" is looping in my head lol. Does it snow where you live? Sometimes, but rarely a lot. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No. How old is your oldest living grandparent? 80-something. Do you wear contacts? No, I wear glasses, but I wish I could do contacts again considering I desperately want an undereye microdermal but it'd look stupid with glasses, so. Contacts just annoy me. Where are the last three places you went? Taco Bell, my doctor's appointment, and the gas station. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never in my life hunt, and I don't even want to fish anymore. Both are cruel (hunting more than "cruel"...) imo. I'd only ever fish again if Dad asked me to go with him, because since I was a kid, that's always been our "thing," our bonding experience. I wouldn't be able to say no. Do you know anyone who is a nurse? A lot, actually. Would you prefer to own a lapdog or a bigger dog? Sigh. Didn't think I'd want a dog after Teddy, but as of very recently, I've found myself missing the companionship of one. I don't know if I'll end up with another, though, but if I do, I'd want a medium-sized one, like Teddy was. Are you more of a cat person? Yes. What is your worst subject? Math. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Yeah. Do you play guitar? Not anymore. Have you had to have stitches at all in the last year? No. Have you ever stayed up all night and then gone to work in the morning? No. That sounds like hell. How many relationships have you been in so far this year? It's a week into January lmao. No. Do you prefer to be single or with someone? With someone. Though now that I am single, I kinda think that's for the better right now...? Eh idk. Do you have any tattoos? Yeah. Are you planning on getting any? Oh, plenty. My Mark tribute is getting tidied up by a great artist on the 4th next month and I CANNOT contain my excitement. Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? No. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No, and I never would. What are the middle names of everyone in your family? Wow yeah, lemme share that on the Internet. Where did you go the last time you took a vacation? The beach. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids so like, Who is someone you aspire to be like? Man, there's a lot of people who inspire me in different ways. I think the world knows I look up to the wisdom, determination, dedication, creativity, compassion, etc. etc. etc. of Mark, I adore the heart and empathy of Shane Dawson, Steve Irwin is my absolute idol in terms of passion for animals, and Jeffree Star's work ethic is like, unbelievable. There are plenty others, but those really stand out. How do you feel about your life right now? oof What is your favorite game show to watch? Family Feud with Steve Harvey. He is so fuckin funny. How good are you in trivia games? What’s your best category? Idk. I'm probably best with animal knowledge though, judging from games I've played along with. Would you much rather test your knowledge or share opinions? I guess it depends on the subject and with whom. How do you feel about word games? Fun. Who is your absolute favorite film director? TIM BURTON. THERE IS NO COMPETITION W/ HIM. When’s the last time had to cover a coworker’s shift? Never. Have you ever had a really unreliable coworker? I've never worked long enough to know. Have you ever had to have a ring resized? No. What is a question you would never ever ask somebody? "I would never ask someone what they weigh." <<< This. I'm not a doctor, so I don't see any situation where that'd be an appropriate question to ask anyone. What sounds like a rude word but really isn’t? I'm sure there's something, but idk rn. Have you ever made a blanket? If so, how did you make one? No. How many godparents do you have? Do they care about you? Zero, I think. What is something that should not exist? Rape. Is there a word you have an emotional connection to? It sounds weird I'm sure, but "petrichor" (the smell of the earth after it rains) makes me feel... weird. Nostalgic, anxious, melancholy. Shortly before becoming a couple, Jason and I were just outside at school while it was raining, and we wondered what that smell was called. When we went back to the computer lab (where we were after exams were done), we looked it up and found out "petrichor" was the term. I remember those days too clearly for them to have happened eight years ago. How about a sound? Any emotional connection to a sound? Ummm not that I can think of. Is there something coming up that you are dreading? Not really, no. Do you ever read graphic novels? No. What is the most ridiculous product you have ever seen? Oh idk. Are there any spiders in your home right now? I mean realistically, probably? None that I know of. What was the last thing that made you laugh hysterically? I can't remember exactly what it was, but something on YouTube. I think on Game Grumps. Are there any candy stores where you live? Not that I'm aware of. Do you own any fingerless gloves? Yeah, I still have them in my drawer, actually. I wore them every day in high school. Tell me about the last animal you touched. My cat Roman. :') Have you ever witnessed a birth? Only cats. Can you see your reflection from where you are sitting? No. Wait, yes I can, though only slightly. My snake's cage is just across the room, so I can see against the glass a bit. Quick! Sniff the air. What can you smell? Cat. .-. Have you ever been in a restroom that actually had a restroom attendant? No? What was the last photo you took of? A deer! There were like, seven or eight in the field just across the road a few evenings ago. My lens didn't go out as close as I'd want, but I took some as practice anyway. I only got a few shots though; I came out to the front porch, and after about a minute, they gradually went back into the woods. What do you look for in a mate? Physically and personality-wise. Am I the only one who hates when human couples are referred to as "mates"???? Idk man it shouldn't because we're just animals, but it's weird. ANYWAY, I don't have like, a concrete vision of a partner, but I do have some set-in-stone personality/moral alignments that are musts, such as just being a generally good person, empathetic, you must love animals or shoo, be in touch with their emotions, understanding, soft stuff like that. I also have a strong preference for having a good sense of humor, I lean more romantically towards outgoing people, you gotta be laid-back and approachable... that kind of stuff. Physically, I really, really don't care, but I think we all have preferences; ex., while it really doesn't matter to me ultimately, I tend to find longer hair on guys more attractive than short. Your thoughts on bacon? Ugh, I wish I didn't love it. I wanna be a vegetarian again so badly. What are your thoughts on little kids with cell phones? If they're of an age where they may be separated from their parents semi-regularly and without the constant presence of a guardian, I'm actually for them having *simple* cellphones. Emergencies exist, and even I, someone who doesn't even want kids, would be scared knowing my child is without an easy, quick method of contact with me. Now, remember I did say "simple" cellphones; I don't believe a little kid should grow up unhealthily attached to technology (like me lmao), so especially in developmental years, I wouldn't want my kid to be glued to their phone playing games or roaming the Internet too freely. What was the last lie you told? I'm not sure. Is there anyone in particular you always try to tune out? Ugh, yes. For political bullshit that I cannot stand hearing. Do you work out? No. What was the last thing you ate with a spoon?  Uhhhh probably oatmeal. What is a food that you always are in the mood to eat? Ice cream lmao. Ever held a newborn animal? Yeah. Is there anything you’re in denial about? What? Maybe, idk. Have you ever been to a Chinatown? No. Do you prefer chunky or creamy peanut butter? CREAMY. Don't come near me with chunky pb. Do you stop to pick up heads-up pennies? No. Do you make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? Yeah, even though I don't believe it does anything. It's just for the novelty of it. Do your pets have collars? Describe them: Bentley just has a blue, average collar. Roman doesn't because he absolutely hates them. What is the last thing you searched for online? Surveys. Do you use any scented lotions? What do they smell like? No. Do you have any friends that speak any languages you don’t understand? I mean yeah, Spanish is common in America.

[vmgx16]

Tagged by the amazing @spicydice​  💙 I’ll tag @ingratidona​ and @richterbelmont​ why not?

last 1. drink: black coffee with no sugar (didn’t taste great!) 2. phone call: My dad 3. text message: Zhina! 4. song you listened to: Breathe from In the Heights, me singing it 5. time you cried: Last month while listening to Alabanza/Everything I know coincidentally also from In the Heights 6. dated someone twice: never 7. kissed someone and regretted it?: never kissed 8. been cheated on: nope 9. lost someone special: no 10. been depressed: Less than two weeks ago I think 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Got drunk, two weeks, threw up, never

3 favorite colors 12. Cyan with most types of blue 13. Red/ Pink/ Magenta and alike 14. Black

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: Yes! 16. fallen out of love: no??? 17. laughed until you cried: sorta yeah! 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes (simmering with rage inside over what happened) 19. met someone who changed you: I have 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nope

general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t have facebook friends I don’t know (also barely use fb anyway) 23. do you have any pets: My dad has a cat that was mine when I lived more at his house 24. do you want to change your name: YES for reasons 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Had a friend over, it was nice 26. what time did you wake up: Around midnight :p 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Waking up (I need a better sleep cycle) 28. name something you can’t wait for: Nothing right now, everything I want to do I can’t right now is too far away to worry (maybe I dunno) 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Now-ish

31. what are you listening to right now: The soooound of silence (nothing, my fingers typing, the tv in the other room talking, someone in the kitchen doing something, people in the other apartments living their lives...) 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: ....no??? Where are you Toms??? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: I’m super chill this moment. Super rare. Ask me that in like a day or two 34. most visited website: dumbingofage.com probably (tho most likely tumblr.com & youtube.com) 35. hair colour: brown with a washed out green that used to be blue 36. long or short hair: meeeedium 37. do you have a crush on someone: yes! Too many! It is a problem! Why??? 38. what do you like about yourself: ??? 39. piercings: none 40. blood type: A+ 41. nickname: vmgx is a username I used to use more 42. relationship status: Single 43. zodiac: Virgo

44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: I think Game of Thrones & Sherlock rn (yes I’m very original) 46. tattoos: none 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: If I had any? I had two. One is too personal and the other I don’t remember what it was but I remember being in the hospital for it so?? 49. piercing: not since the last time you asked no 50. sport: I’ve practiced Tennis and Kendo for a few months each 51. vacation: São Paulo for a day in a couple of days 52. pair of trainers: what?

more general 53. eating: lunch (fish rice beans and pastel (which I dunno how it is in english)) 54. drinking: nada 55. i’m about to: have a happiness and relaxness crash  at any minute, it’s been going on for too long 56. waiting for: Dunno! 57. want: TO WATCH EVERY SHOW ON BROADWAY WITH MY FRIENDS THAT WOULD BE 👌👌👌 (<- this one was Zhina’s and I totally agree, but I’m adding coming out too) 58. get married: I DUNNO WHY BUT YES AND HAVE KIDS AND STUFF ( I’m including a possibility of a poli marriage or a open one in here tho) 59. career: I wanna make stories? Or draw stories? Or write? Or compose? Or perform? Or at least one of these things but I gotta get better at training those skills

which is better 60. hugs or kisses: more familiar with hugs, wanna kiss more 61. lips or eyes: um...... eyes? 62. shorter or taller: I mean I say shorter but just because I’m very tall. I wish I was shorter honestly 63. older or younger: Depends? 64. nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t get this question 65. hook up or relationship: Both?? 66. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker, I’m already too hesitant

have you ever 67. kissed a stranger: nah 68. drank hard liquor: yes! It was fun 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: ain’t got either 70. turned someone down: online yes 71. sex on the first date: first date? what’s that? 72. broken someone’s heart: No 73. had your heart broken: I broke my own heart cuz I’m dumb 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: I... can’t cry (that one up there was the first time since I was a kid) 76. fallen for a friend: yes god why???

do you believe in 77. yourself: DEPENDS 78. miracles: no.. 79. love at first sight: not at all 80. santa claus: certainly, he punched a guy in the Nicea council (don’t quote me on that) 81. kiss on the first date: sure why not? 82. angels: no

other 83. current best friend’s name: Zhina, Hanna, and Pedro! 84. eye color: brown 85. favorite movie: I can’t choose it’s too hard.I really liked Rogue One last year though

[hellooogaynow]

1-100

omg ok tbh i forgot that i reblogged that ask thing but thank u fren here u go

1. spotify, soundcloud, or pandora? 

spotify

2. is your room messy or clean?

um ok so my room at my mom’s is technically the office and just full of mine and everyone else’s storage so it isn’t really my room i guess and my room at my dad’s is nearly empty and i haven’t been there more than a couple times in a while and i’ve been crashing at friend’s and family’s houses and living out of a suitcase for weeks so i’m just gonna say i don’t really have a room

3. what color are your eyes?

dark brown

4. do you like your name? why?

alright well this is complicated because i hate the name emily and lately i’ve been going by emmitt for a while and it’s just weird because i feel so disconnected from emily and not super connected to emmitt either and i feel like i should just be a nameless person because i hate being referred to as anything tbh

5. what is your relationship status?

happily in a relationship with someone i really care about

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

a detached mess

7. what color hair do you have?

my natural dark brown color

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

ah it’s a purple mini van that’s rusting and dying

9. where do you shop?

target lol

10. how would you describe your style?

almost exclusively button ups and baseball shirts

11. favorite social media account?

tumblr probably i use this the most out of all of them

12. what size bed do you have?

queen

13. any siblings?

i have 2 sisters

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

i honestly have no idea how to answer this question i don’t have a dream destination or anything

15. favorite snapchat filter?

omg probably the cute cat one that changes ur voice cuz my friends look so cute when they use it

16. favorite makeup brand(s)?

i don’t know anything about makeup

17. how many times a week do you shower?

every day sometimes multiple times a day

18. favorite tv show?

buffy the vampire slayer and dollhouse kill me

19. shoe size?

idk i’m pretty sure i’m a 6

20. how tall are you?

5’1

21. sandals or sneakers?

sneakers

22. do you go to the gym?

no lol but i do plan to start going once i actually move in to my new place and get settled

23. describe your dream date

i want to spend a day in chicago with emily doing whatever we want just walking and wandering into stores and go to a zoo or a museum or navy pier or honestly just anything at this point i miss her so much i don’t care what we do as long as we’re together

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

$6

25. what color socks are you wearing?

they’re both different variations of black white and light blue

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

at least 2

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

yeah i recently got a job in the mental health field and i work primarily with adults with various mental illnesses in a 24/7 supervised living area at the moment it’s mostly individuals dealing with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, and borderline personality disorder and i help them with symptom management, building the skills they have chosen to work on in their treatment plans, and help them carry activities of daily living so they can become self-sufficient and can transition out and live on their own

28. how many friends do you have?

ah i mean i know i have a lot of friends but as far as really close friends i know i can count on and will most likely always have around i’d say i have about 8

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

ah fuck well i went through a really destructive phase in my recent past where i was just in a bad place and i withdrew and lashed out a lot and was super emotionally unstable and i hurt a lot of people and i regret it

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

omg i have no idea i usually just smell all the blue ones and go from there

31. 3 favorite boy names

elliot (this is my favorite name in the world probably)

max

derrick

32. 3 favorite girl names

bennett

caroline

sara

33. favorite actor?

i thought about this for a solid 5 minutes and no one is coming to mind i’m gonna leave this blank

34. favorite actress?

eliza dushku and alyson hannigan kill me every time i watch dollhouse or buffy i’m in love with her

35. who is your celebrity crush?

amber liu

36. favorite movie?

selena

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i used to read a lot when i was a kid and the music of dolphins by karen hesse has always stuck with me for some reason idk if it’s my favorite but when i was a kid i checked it out at least once a month on our elementary library visits and even now i always find myself thinking about it

38. money or brains?

well if u don’t have money u can’t survive in this capitalist society so i mean

but if this question is asking what i want in a person i’d want the smart

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

my family calls me mimi and tbh it’s the only thing i actually feel comfortable with weirdly

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

i’ve been to the hospital multiple times to visit people but i don’t remember actually needing to be there myself besides when i burned my hands as a child

41. top 10 favorite songs

this is def subject to change depending on my mood at any given moment but for right now:

hold me tight by bts

house of cards by bts

lie by bts

all mine by one ok rock

deeper deeper by one ok rock

we are by one ok rock

decision by one ok rock

clock strikes by one ok rock

como la flor by selena

moon river waltz by shinee

42. do you take any medications daily?

no i had issues with family and insurance so i had to stop seeing my psych and taking meds

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

dry

44. what is your biggest fear?

my mom having anything else bad happen to her

45. how many kids do you want?

this is most likely not going to be my choice lol i don’t have a number in mind if i do have kids

46. whats your go to hair style?

short and whatever it wants to do when i get out of the shower

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

well i don’t really live in a house rn but my mom’s house is huge she just moved in and it’s crazy big i’m so happy for her also the house i’m gonna move into soon is p small but still cute

48. who is your role model?

idk probably my mom she’s been through a lot and is still going strong

49. what was the last compliment you received?

“you’re so sweet, you know that?” from a client

50. what was the last text you sent?

“nini

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

tbh i have no idea i was probably in elementary school

52. what is your dream car?

something that runs, is either blue or grey, and magically doesn’t cost me anything to drive it

53. opinion on smoking?

it smells terrible and i don’t like to be around people who smoke

54. do you go to college?

yeah i just graduated

55. what is your dream job?

i have no idea i don’t know what i want i haven’t really thought that far ahead but i love my job so far so i’m alright with where i’m at

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

i don’t really have a preference as long as i’m with and near people i care about

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

i don’t think i’ve ever personally done that

58. do you have freckles?

yeah i have a couple scattered around

59. do you smile for pictures?

i make this weird stupid half smile face and i can’t stop

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

761

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

i have not

62. do you still watch cartoons?

i never want to not watch cartoons

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from wendy’s or mcdonalds?

i don’t like chicken nuggets from anywhere

64. favorite dipping sauce?

wait for what

i like soy sauce for potstickers

65. what do you wear to bed?

usually shorts and a t shirt

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

no i’m terrible at spelling out loud

67. what are your hobbies?

i like to dance idk not much else tho i guess

68. can you draw?

nooooo

69. do you play an instrument?

i played guitar once but i forgot everything smh

70. what was the last concert you saw?

the bts wings tour

71. tea or coffee?

tea

72. starbucks or dunkin donuts?

dunkin donuts

73. do you want to get married?

yes

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

e g

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

i’ve thought about this actually and i’m mostly just hesitant about how difficult it would be to change my name on like all the legal paperwork and like bills and work things and it just sounds super complicated but i wish it could be easier because i hate where my last name comes from and if i married my current gf we would literally have the exact same name and we would be able to confuse people even more and i just think it would be funny

76. what color looks best on you?

black i think

77. do you miss anyone right now?

yes oh my god

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed always closed

79. do you believe in ghosts?

yeah i do

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

ok i get so mad when i go to a friend’s place who has long hair and i’m walking barefoot through their house or i’m sleeping over or i’m under a blanket or something and it just makes me so mad when i feel dumb long single strands of hair in my toes i hate it so much it makes me so mad idk man but this happened to me last night and i’ve been thinking about it ever since

81. last person you called?

ah well the last phone call that i was on was with the director of all the residential living things at my work

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

idk probably chocolate and vanilla with caramel

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular oreos

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

no sprinkles pls

85. what shirt are you wearing?

black and grey v neck t shirt

86. what is your phone background?

a picture of my gf i took a while back of her from a distance with the river and sunset in the background

87. are you outgoing or shy?

shy with everyone besides my friends

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

only like a very specific like 2 people but when it’s anyone else i get really uncomfortable with being touched and you’d think that people wouldn’t just come up to you and start touching your hair and telling you how soft it is but it’s more common than you think and it makes me want to d ie

89. do you like your neighbors?

my nonexistent neighbors r gr8

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

i always wash it in the morning but sometimes i wash it at night too if i feel gross from the day

91. have you ever been high?

nope never

92. have you ever been drunk?

yes

93. last thing you ate?

a blizzard from dairy queen with pieces of brownies in it

94. favorite lyrics right now

ok i’m gonna be honest and just say i’m not in a place to listen to music rn i’ve been listening to exclusively podcasts and i have not listened to a song and not zoned out completely during it in a very long time and no lyrics are coming to mind

95. summer or winter?

summer

96. day or night?

night

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

ah milk or white i guess i’m not a super big fan tho

98. favorite month?

june cuz my birthday also gay

99. what is your zodiac sign

gemini

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

my dad

[samraclaus]

Do em all boredom sucks

Thank u lets get personal: send me a number 
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? - Bloom by the paper kites, somebody else by the 1975, beautiful sea from sing street, amnesia by 5sos, tarot by alt-j, and coming up roses from begin again 
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - either lily Collins, calum hood or Ezra Miller
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. - “…men have integrated feminist values into their lives, whether or not they use the label, and this is also an important barometer of the impact of feminism."
4: What do you think about most? - certain people in my life or sometimes death tbh 
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?- "me too omg” from Nichole 
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? - with 
7: What’s your strangest talent? - I can imitate people and characters really well but they’re always weird voices 
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) - girls are beautiful. Boys are confusing but also beautiful. 
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? - no :/
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? - literally like an hour ago I do it so often lmao 
11: Do you have any strange phobias? - uhhhh I’m afraid of everything 
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? - the only thing that’s been in my nose is a really long qtip at the doctor and never again no thanks that’s scary 
13: What’s your religion? - Islam (not religious tho)
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? - probably taking a walk or going to the park 
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - behind but good candids are the best 
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? - either sir sly 
17: What was the last lie you told? - that I was okay and not to worry lmao 
18: Do you believe in karma? - kinda yeah 
19: What does your URL mean? - my name is samra but it gets autocorrected to Santa so it became a meme in my friend group 
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? - weakness: I guess my anxiety. Strength: staying positive outwardly 
21: Who is your celebrity crush? - Ezra Miller and calum hood 💕😭
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? - no
23: How do you vent your anger? - I either punch things or just yell at everyone 
24: Do you have a collection of anything? - a small collection of mugs!
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - hmm both are kinda stressful but I’d probably like video chatting more 
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? - not at all 
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? - I hate the sound of people chewing. I love the sound of hairdryers and vacuums. They make me sleepy 
28: What’s your biggest “what if”? - what if I died? Or. What if I actually told people how I feel?
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - yes to both!!! - 
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. - right arm: basket. Left: pillow
31: Smell the air. What do you smell? - nothing really tbh 
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? - louder than life 
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? - east!
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? - Calum lmao 
35: To you, what is the meaning of life? - making the most of the time you have even if you mess up along the way. But for a depressing version: you live and then you die. That’s it
36: Define Art. - anything that you make that represents something and you think is beautiful 
37: Do you believe in luck? - kinda
38: What’s the weather like right now? - warm 
39: What time is it? - 11:39 pm
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? - not yet 
41: What was the last book you read? - cellist of Sarajevo 
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? - love it
43: Do you have any nicknames? - my dad calls me samronis and some people call me sam 
44: What was the last film you saw? - uhhhh I think holes (what a night lmao) 
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? - I broke my arm on my scooter 
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? - no, I used to think they were kinda scary. I don’t now but still no 
47: Do you have any obsessions right now? - flowers probably 
48: What’s your sexual orientation? - bisexual 
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? - I think once in middle school, it was really dumb, someone just said that I said something mean about my friend 
50: Do you believe in magic? - not really 
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? - sometimes, but I usually just let it go cause I feel bad lol 
52: What is your astrological sign? - taurus 
53: Do you save money or spend it? - usually spend :/ 
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?- sour patch kids 
55: Love or lust? - either but love is better 
56: In a relationship? - not right now 
57: How many relationships have you had? - only a couple 
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? - no :/
59: Where were you yesterday? - moving back and forth from my old house to my new house
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? - literally my entire room lmao 
61: Are you wearing socks right now? - always 
62: What’s your favourite animal? - guineas 🐹
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? - I actually don’t have one, I just live my life 
64: Where is your best friend? - I have no idea tbh but probably at home 
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. - imsograntired (my sister), blushedaesthetic (erin), granterin (other erin), and basically all of my friends tbh 
66: What is your heritage? - Turkish??
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? - taking a shower and texting sam 
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? - trump 
69: Biggest turn ons? - personality: humor, sarcasm, if you're a good person, cocky but not too much ya know. Physically: tall, nice hands(hands are so important wow 👀)
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? - eh I guess, I try my best to be a good friend 
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? - SAVE THE DOG WTF ILL LIVE ON THE STREETS WITH HIM 
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? - id probably tell people but make sure they don’t freak out too much and have them so funny things with me b) What do you do with your remaining days? Id do things with my family and friends all day every day and travel a bit if I can. Id tell people what I’ve always wanted to tell them without being scared. c) Would you be afraid? - I’m afraid of what happens after death, if it’s simply nothing, that’s what scares me. It’s impossible for someone to think of what it’s like to be absolutely nothing. I won’t even know I’m nothing because I’ll just be gone. But a big fear is how upset my family would be. I would hate to hurt them like that 
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. - love 
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? - a beautiful sea from sing street 
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? - 9203
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? - trust, compatibility, not taking everything seriously 
77: How can I win your heart? - be there for me, give me space if I ask for it, talk to me all the time tbh and watch movies with me 
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?- probably 
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? - i haven’t made many good ones so I honestly can’t think of any rn 
80: What size shoes do you wear? - 8-9
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? - “life is hard when you’re an idiot"
82: What is your favourite word? - UGH I LITERALLY TOLD SULTANA MY FAVORITE WORD YESTERDAY AND I CANT REMEMBER NOW
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. - love 
84: What is a saying you say a lot? - what do I even say ever these are so hard 
85: What’s the last song you listened to? - a.m. By 1D 
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? - dark green and pastel pink
87: What is your current desktop picture? - a picture of me and my friends 
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? - Donald trump 
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - "do you like ___” I’m weird with this question because even when I do like someone a lot, I just get really scared and end up lying and I hate that about myself. I need to be pushed 
90: Turn offs? - not caring about my problems, ignoring me
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? - reading minds or flying 
92: where are your parents from? - Bosnia! 
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? - while my aunt was in the hospital 
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? - definitely calum 
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? - Italy!!
96: Do you have any relatives in jail? - not that I know of 
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? - yes, and right on my sister too. I had too much mayonnaise :/
98: Ever been on a plane? - yes ugh I hate planes 
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say - i would be too stressed to talk to the whole world so I have no idea

[whatevenis2016-blog]

Please just kill me already.

Basically every aspect of my life sucks rn. Work is horrible and gets worse and worse everyday. I can't stand it and I just want someone to call me back so I can get out of this hell hole. It's so funny tho this one girl gets to work 45, 50, even an hour late every single day and my boss doesn't seem to care and I get to work everyday on time and then I change into my work cloths there and clock in like 3 minutes late. But do you know who she gives shit and bitched about behind her back to other employees? Me. Not her. She literally doesn't appreciate the fact that I basically run her store and shes never there. And she takes weekends off and gives the girl who's always late weekends off and this guy every Friday and Sunday off but won't give me or the other girl who actually do shit at work any weekend days off. Ever. I ask one weekend off a year, for my birthday. And she still Give Me Shit about how hard it is for her to make it work without me being there. Oh wow. Go fuck yourself. Like really. I don't care how hard it is for you, it's your business not mine. It's not my problem. Like if you can't make it work with the people you have, maybe you should fucking hire more people? And not just have like 6 employees.... And about a million other reasons why working there is complete ass. My mother hates me. And no I'm not exaggerating, not even a little bit. Here are some direct quotes from my mother, all completely unprovoked and completely out of the blue:: "you are a psychopath" "maybe I should keep calling your bitch of an employer" she's trying to get me fired bc I refused to see her on my birthday "you're off your meds, you aren't wearing your retainer, you dropped out of college. You're living in an unhealthy environment" my doctor took me off my meds bc I'm doing better, I stopped wearing my retainer bc it's been ever a year since I got my braces off, I'm taking ONE semester off bc my whole fucking life is imploding around me and an way too stressed out and overwhelmed to handle school on top of all my other problems. "Your father said he was going to kill me" complete lies bc she's mad my father got custody of me when I was a child. "maybe C***** didn't stab you in the back she just didn't like how he was treating you" and ex friend of mine treated me like shit and tried to break me and an ex up and then tore apart many other friendships bc she's an insecure person but she wants me to believe I was the problem not other people. "your dad doesn't want you to succeed" "it's time to grow up and stop blaming shit on me!!!!!!!" "You only text me when you're angry" " I tried so hard with you" "I wasted XXXX$ on your braces" she tried to take my father to Cort and force him to pay for braces but because she was thousands and thousands of dollars behind in child support they made her pay for them, not to mention doing things like that are what you're suppose to do as a parent not bc your child 'deserves it'. All those are just text messages she's sent me resently. I'm currently 21 and she still owns me like 33,000$++ in child support. She doesn't even work, she sponges off the government. The money she gets from the government every month is more that my father Earns every month. And my dad is able to out food on the table, buy clothing for me and then some but she's not even able to buy anything more than bread and ramen noodles bc she spends the rest of her money on drugs and alcohol and other stupid shit (like smart phones she doesn't know how to use and DS3Ds as soon as they are released and again doesn't know how to use. All for herself I might add). She has completely treated my like shit for my entire life. When I was younger I used to believe I deserved it bc I was just a shitty person but after seeing a good therapist, I know know she's mentally ill, refuses to get help and just projects all her issues and anger onto me. She tells me I'm the worst thing that has ever happened to her, that I'm mentally retarded and would never graduate high school (even though from 11th great until my junior year or college I got all As and Bs except 2 classes I really struggled in), she would tell me I don't deserve love and I would die alone. Day in and day out for absolutely no reason other than just wanting me to feel horrible. If I wouldn't do simple things like dishes or taking trash out she would threaten me never to take me to a doctor or dentist again (which incase you can't figure this out for yourself is sick and twisted) you should ground your kid of a weekend not refuse medical attention. She's woken me up in the middle of the night, knocking me out of bed and kicked me out with no explanation. Once I was out with a friend and came home probably around 11pm and she had locked me out of our appartment and wouldn't let me back in and I had called my dad but he was asleep so he didn't answer, so I just waited outside in the hallway until the next morning and rode the bus to school. One of the first therapists I had told her she can't keep treating me the way she does (keep in mind my mother would sit in on my appointments and do most of the talking herself so it wasn't even just me spouting out a bunch of shit, it was just from the words spoken from my mother). On the way home she told me how horrible I am, how I was the worst thing that has ever happened to her, that I deserved all the bad thing possible to happen to me. There have been times when she was mad at one of my brother's (she has 2 other sons, my 2 half brother's) and she would take her anger out on me (bc they didn't live with us) she would tell me it was my responsibility to step up and take her shit, that's what it meant to be 'part of a family' what it meant to be 'an adult'. Does that make sense to you? If you're mad at someone but they aren't there...That you would yell and a completely unrelated person simply bc you were mad...? Bc that's what it meant to be a family...? No. It doesn't make sense. I've literally seen my mother do something and then turn around a yell at my brother like he did it. She's so fucked up, she just can't stand it when there isn't drama. The last time l lived with her was my senior year of high schoool, in the middle of the night she tricked me into coming downstairs telling me she was hurt and needed help. When really she was shitfaced drunk, she told me how sick of me she was, how she couldn't stand me, how she didn't want to take care of me anymore. She had a hand full of several bills all in my name, all way past due, that she didn't pay or give to me, that were ruining my credit bc they were unpayed. Just to fuck me over. And then kicked me out. It was like 1 in the morning. And after I left, within the next week she was pissed as all hell that I refused to come back. She had kicked me out several times in the past and I was forced to go back bc I was under 18 but this time there was absolutely no reason for me to go back. She wouldn't stop harassing me she called and left so many messages in 2 weeks it filled my entire voicemail. I didn't even know that was possible. But it is. They were all telling me I was a shitty person. I had to get a whole new phone number bc of her. What a great mother right? And she literally cannot wrap her hear around why I want nothing to do with her. And on top of all of her shit my brother's are so brain washed they believe it's okay for her to act the way she does and are MAD AT ME for not wanting to interact with her. They literally try to make me feel guilty for not wanting to see or talk to her. Like the way she acts in in no way, shape or form okay for a parent to act. And the fact they think I should PUT UP WITH IT is fucking ridiculous. I have literally told my one brother story's of what she has does and all he says is "you should really call and talk to mom". Like wow, I can fell the love. I can tell my mental health is important to you. And currently I have been having some serious issues with my insurance. I need to be enrolled in school to get my insurance benefits and I guess this year my shit got messed up and they never received my enrollment info. So for like the last 3 months I've been trying to get it straitened out with problem after problem after problem. And several hours sitting on call waiting with my insurance. Currently I'm emailing someone from college trying to get enrollment verification forms. So I emailed the lady saying I needed help for the fall semester of 2016 and explained my whole problem to her. The spring of 2017 I'm taking off bc of personal problems and she already knew that bc I've already talked to her about it. All she replies with "you're not currently enrolled". I was so pissed and crushed. She clearly didn't even read my email. I have dealt with her before and I have friends that have dealt with her, and she has never been anything but a cunt. And I don't genuinely say cunt as a insult but she's a cunt. Like what even is her job but to help students?? She has either not helped me or given me so much shit in the process. If you fucking hate your job so much that you treat your students like shit, you should get a new job. Like are you serious, I am thousands of dollars in debt to my insurance that I don't owe bc my shit fell through for a stupid reason. And it's affecting my credit score bc I don't want to just pay for it and potentially not get replayed.... And a couple months ago my father had surgery for cancer and isn't working. So with my shit job where I don't even make the minimum wage, I'm trying to support us. And right after he had his surgery and I accidently broke my finger. All in the finals week of school. So I was trying to finish final projects, study for finals, being torn apart hoping my father would be okay, wanting to go out of town to visit him in the hospital and then not being able to bc I broke my finger, and missing several days of school and having to make up finals. All while having my work issues too and being expected to work way more hours than I could physically and mentally handle but doing it anyway. Just being torn apart in every direction possible and having no one care... And since my father's surgery I've had to drive him 2 hours our of town for check ups since his surgery and when I ask those day off from work my boss has the audacity to give me shit about needing those days off even though she knows full well why I was asking them off. I literally hate my life and wish I was dead. Like all of my problems are bc of other people, things that are completely out of my control. Like I try so hard to fix shit and nothing gets better. My entire life I've tried to bend over backwards trying to make my mother love me but she just hates me more and more everyday. No matter what I do or say my boss never takes me seriously or respects or appreciated a single thing I do. No matter who I talk to or what I send nothing changes with my insurance. Can someone just kill me.....