#something about lining clips up with the lyrics makes my brain happy

[girldadbuckley]

so hum hallelujah

[for-a-longlongtime]

Songs and musings in the Key of Peña-Rockford

(Those gun holsters have me all fucked up. Seriously.)

I warned y'all about how obsessive my hyperfocus can get, right? Damn ADHD. The choke hold (all the puns intended) that this fic idea has on me is unreal, haha. But all of your comments and encouragements about this Rockford Pena WIP are making me so happy and relieving some of the stress I feel about writing it - thank you! I don't have another snippet to share just yet (so I hope this post isn't too much of a cock tease), but since I always love to read about character thots and writing processes (e.g. the extra posts by @mysterious-moonstruck-musings about her Destiny & Deliverance series, and @gracieispunk with her White Lotus posts), I figured I'd post a little update with some musings and songs I'm associating with this fic.

My Spotify currently is curated by @sin-djarin, who somehow knew just the right songs that relate to this WIP. Particularly these three tracks are on constant repeat. Going back and forth with her about little things that come up, or question ‘why this and not’ has been so much fun really. It makes me giddy because it turns the fic into something collaborative rather than just something from the inside of my brain, you know?

Whisper - Morphine

I included this track the other day already with the WIP snippet; it’s sexy and slow and that bass line really gets to me, then the saxophone ups it even more. @sin-djarin sent me several Morphine songs (I have to admit that somehow I wasn’t familiar with them) but this one stands out. The push and pull that’s happening in the lyrics is also delicious, and a lot of it feels like it’s coming from Rockford’s POV about Javi - that’s all I’ll say about it for now.

A Perfect Twist - Mike Patton

This song has an exuberant, rather bombastic vibe to it that I would’ve never associated with anything related to Peña. Although, those lyrics... they are definitely about brat taming.

I'll bend you over my knee Let's see what you can take You're never gonna break

And I'll squeeze that noose a little tighter Breathing like a snake How much can you take? You're never gonna break

And I'll turn those screws a little tighter You can hardly wait You're never gonna break

Just one more twist of the pliers Got you on the brink How much can you take? You're never gonna break

There’s something about the dizzying tune and pace that somehow evokes the noir-like Rockford vibes in the Merge Mansion clips, laced with liquor and cigarette smoke and things spinning kinda out of control.

Wait who said Masquerade Mansion? 🎭

In relation to these two?

Shhhh let’s pretend you didn’t see that. Keep your eyes wide shut. 🎭

Broad Daylight - Gabriel Rios

This is the only song that suddenly came to me re: this fic, and I was all… the fuck is this. I like the song, it's catchy, but it just didn’t make any sense to me with regard to Javi and Tim. The only thing I could think of in relation to the track was maybe a vague reference of Peña getting caught up with Los Pepes, things that were done in the dark and shouldn't come out in the daylight:

Back in the old days, tight like a fight Used to hang with the devil in the broad daylight

But still, it puzzled me. I think something in one of the Morphine songs musically led me to Broad Daylight, weird as that may sound. After way too many replays of that song (and @sin-djarin joking about 'what are those Polaroids Tim has on Javi?', since the song mentions polaroids), the relevance of the song finally clicked with me;

Look at you shaking you can't find his plight Got you scared of ghosts in the dead of night While you're making up stories trying to make it ok He'll be bringing them in to let them out and play In the broad daylight

We'll see how it goes from there.

At some point, there's also going to be a bit of Marcus Pike in the fic (pancakes!). I have to be honest - I don’t really read a lot of Marcus!fic, so I’ve been trying to figure out how he fits in and some of his character traits etc. But the wonderful @secretelephanttattoo was very quick to offer me some insights about Marcus that I needed! Go read it here.

TBH, I had absolutely not planned to write anything about Peña any time soon, because why I love him in canon and in the many fics I've read, I didn't exactly feel like I had a good enough handle on writing something about him that has some plot rather than just fucking. But then this fic idea popped up. If there's anyone who knows him really well, it's @goodwithcheese (you'd better be reading her incredible new story Paranoid Heart about Javi!). So I dropped some questions and fortunately she was totally up for some character chat right here, which is really helping me figure out some things. Thank you babe, and I hope more people will contribute thots to your 1K Celebration Confessional about their sins!

Also, I've been trying to put a time and place to the fic, but I've decided to not get too hung up about that because it's really not literature but Fic/Porn With Plot. It doesn't all have to make sense. But in case you're curious, I'm leaning towards this taking place in the US in recent enough times that smartphones are a thing.

Age wise, I'm seeing Tim Rockford as being 48/50 years old probably. Javier is about 40, 41 years old - just to give you an idea of 'which Javi' I'm looking at, I've got a sense of him as he is in Narcos S2 around episode 4-9, after Carillo is murdered, and Berna takes him to see Judy Moncada.

Reader insert (I know, I haven't spoken a lot about her yet!) is probably about 40 years old too. And finally, Marcus Pike is give r take about 37 years old, which corresponds with his Mentalist appearance.

BTW, I came across an edit that had all of the Tim Rockford bits from the ads without the additional stuff. A whopping total of 48 seconds. Man, I hope that Pedro is aware of how fucked up he has us about Rockford with less than a minute of his acting. Even my wife said 'I would totally watch a show or movie based on this character' when I played the Merge Mansion ads for her.

Finally, here's a video of Pedro talking about "real fantasy fullfillment in terms of getting to immerse yourself in an experience" and how he "loves being a detective, that's fantasy fullfilment for me" re: the Merge Mansion event day.

*hits replay*

Say 'fantasy fullfillment' one more time? Respectfully.

Like I said, I hope he knows how fucked up he has us all about Rockford. I sure am glad he did these ads and whatever he got paid, it sure wasn't enough.

---------------------------------------------------------

Updated tag list (comment if you want to be added, or if I added you by accident!) based on folks who commented/reblogged on the prev posts:

@sin-djarin @legendary-pink-dot @imalrightllama @secretelephanttattoo @rhoorl @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @trulybetty @goodwithcheese @linzels-blog @rifflovesjoey @maggiemayhemnj @magpiepills @youandmeand5bucks @morallyinept @5oh5 @missredherring @avastrasposts @anavatazes @imaswellkid @pedrit0-pascalit0 @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @survivingandenduring @boliv-jenta @prolix-yuy @sheepdogchick3 @inept-the-magnificent @northernwindd @alltheglitterandtheroar @readingiskeepingmegoing @txlady37 @rebel-held @alwaysmicado @heareball @clawdee @covetyou @bellsbluebrd @alltheglitterandtheroar @axshadows @casa-boiardi @bastardmandennis @stealyourblorbos @chronically-ghosted @katw474 @beabliss @nerdieforpedro

I don't know why some usernames don't seem to link when I try to tag them, btw. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to fix this?

[visualtaehyun]

I'm feeling too euphoric and happy right now to form coherent thoughts so no meta, just all the vibes I took down while watching, just cleaned them up a bit!

Disclaimer: not a native Thai speaker, feel free to chime in with corrections 🙏

Pisaeng feels like he's holding Kawi back, huh?

I'm incredibly confused cause all I can find googling some of these lyrics is a 4 year old twitter clip of Krist singing these lines in a car, apparently he wrote it but it wasn't released at the time but I don't know if it ever did lol

Because the word love / It begins with the word us But in the very end (you gave it to him/them) / Our love (covered) And this (thing) is your truth / (covered) The word us became him/them, right? / (covered)

I LOVE THE DIFFERENCE IN DELIVERY ("No, I'm free today") between the first time they switched to ผม (pom) / คุณ (khun) vs. this time when Pisaeng has obviously been using them for years and years so it doesn't feel new but so very normal

THIS TIME THERE'S NO PRONOUNS ถ้ากลัวก็��ับมือกันไว้นะ = If (you're) scared then hold each other's hands

VS. THE FIRST TIME INTENTIONALLY HAVING THE NEW PRONOUNS ถ้าคุณกลัว จับมือผมไว้ = If you're scared, hold my hand/you can hold my hand

This episode completely reframes ep. 10:

it's clear that it was meant to be like this from the start, Pisaeng using the crystal ball was just as much predestined as Kawi using it!

ep. 10-12 have told one continuous arc and I'm in love with that

sidenote: now I finally get what Gawin meant when he said Krist stepped out of his comfort zone/did something daring (can't remember his wording tbh) but he was talking about the rides ofc!

Taking note here of how much more PDA there is and how they're getting comfortable with it (cheek kiss while taking a selfie, holding hands before getting on the roller coaster, holding hands after talking about being afraid of the future, holding hands at Pear's wedding)

"Don't you want tomorrow to come?" = coming to terms with having limited time in this world and with our loved ones and making the most of our time

The fact that Gawin's OST Unable plays when he's asked Kawi What if we didn't date :( followed closely, in the next part, by Pisaeng saying I love you to Kawi, please my hearttt

AND KAWI REPEATS IT BACK TO HIM AWUHCSGDYGCZY ถ้ากลัวก็จับมือกันไว้นะ If (you're) scared then hold each other's hands

Pisaeng and Kawi both said they wouldn't change anything about their future together but by choosing each other so much more enthusiastically and openly, they are making a change :)

it's still on my brain from earlier- the significance of the the sun and the color yellow associated with elder queer max imparting wisdom @telomeke

so sunroof down = the sunlight here standing for being openly queer, being out vs. Pisaeng earlier bringing up that he'd be fine hiding if it meant Kawi could attain fame and success as a singer

all the yellow! the light of the crystal ball, Kawi's hospital gown, the decoration for the surprise welcome home party, the warm sunlight at the beach at the end

The writing on Max's jacket 👀

Time always leaves the (lesser? better?) people to the end, for like ? just like wind, disappearing ? while love is like water, (having? leaving?) ?

Handholding is their love language <3

What a beautiful ending to a beautiful series! It's definitely going into my favorites (pun absolutely intended)

[johnniesmoke]

On Business - Johnnie Smoke

This song is a dynamic reflection of resilience, ambition, and self-awareness, woven into a lyrical narrative that captures the struggles and triumphs of life's journey. It opens with an evocative sense of determination, riding the "wave" of challenges while unapologetically embracing moments of self-discovery. The artist's candid commentary on societal norms and personal growth creates a vivid tapestry, underscoring themes of hard work, gratitude, and the pursuit of destiny.

The verses transition seamlessly from moments of introspection to sharp critiques of ignorance and redundancy, painting a clear picture of the artist's disdain for superficiality and his quest for authenticity. Lines like "taking what's out there for me" and "happy to be alive in year 2023" convey a grounded optimism, while acknowledging the weight of setbacks and the relentless push toward better opportunities. The imagery of "fire in my eyes" and "cordial vibe about my blessings" encapsulates a balance of intensity and grace.

With a rhythmic flow and poetic sensibility, the song critiques the societal obsession with fake versus real, reflecting on the absurdities of judgment and highlighting the futility of superficial pursuits. The juxtaposition of personal strength against a backdrop of collective ignorance creates a thought-provoking contrast, urging listeners to "figure it out for Christ's sake" and rise above mediocrity.

The chorus and bridge anchor the song in camaraderie and teamwork, emphasizing the importance of loyalty and shared values. Phrases like "on business like a one two punch" and "I do it all for the team" celebrate collective effort and determination, weaving a sense of purpose and unity throughout the narrative.

Ultimately, the song is both a personal manifesto and a societal critique, layered with wit, introspection, and a commanding presence. It's a bold, unfiltered expression of the artist's identity and his journey through a world that often fails to recognize its own contradictions. A lyrical masterpiece, it challenges listeners to reflect, grow, and strive for authenticity in every aspect of life.

On Business: Lyrics:

Yeah ayy riding a nice little wave smoking haze/ Taking what's out there for me righteous as anybody still underpaid/ Happy to be alive in year 2023/ If I don't win its a damn shame I was down bad/ Came all the way back trying to hurry up and catch a bag/ Early to bed and early to rise/ Sure about my rights ready for the relay/ I'll never tap out/ Its peaceful being tapped in/ Just hope for a graceful pursuit of destiny/ Wake up with fire in my eyes/ I know what it is like/ I'm no clipping with a cordial vibe about my blessings/ We can get into that/ We all have a code/ Even my "dog" [Friend, like a brother] Dro we even got home/ The path ain't' always gonna glow/ But you still gotta' know/ Just a simple poem well get it done/ Just make sure you know a couple gunners/ Ain't' no ones gonna want to run into you or your brothers/

Just another lazy Monday/ All we can do is love them/ The shit you got is redundant fucking peanut brain/ Flat-Earther good for nothing or something/ Auto Tune Fuck it/ Fuck em' anyway/ There's no way you could actually think you're running the game/ Its irrelevance in history Says enough/ Who would even want it/ I bought it for a cheap price/ Turned it into just what its meant to be/ Yeah 27 and I've heard enough know enough seen enough/ Are you keeping up Oh now they're gonna say it ain't' deep enough/ Cant have this respect if you're ignorant/ Figure it out For Christs sake/ This whole fake and real thing never really made much sense to me/ You neither Yeah now that I mention it/ Well I guess were on the same page/ Then like where the fuck do they get this shit/ I'm only heating up something like a Deke decent for the company/ That's riding along the full package Smokovich/ Like a closer smoke like heat the fastball chief/ On business like a one two punch/ And I do it all for the team/

-

Johnnie Smoke

[basnatural]

Okay, buckle up guys, this is gonna be a long one…

So, a bit of a story time to start with. I went to like the last and only Birmingham UK Creation Con when it was over. I managed to get autographs with Jared and Jensen, and I was having a great time and living my best SPN life.

It came time to line up for the autos and I went to Jared’s line first. When I got to the front, much to my delight he was playing Bon Jovi as his signing music. I have been a major fan of Bon Jovi since Crush came out back in 2000, and Jared is my favourite so I just said “I love your music, dude,” he smiled, thanked me, signed my shit and I left happy.

Until I got to the front of Jensen’s line. Now one thing you need to know about me is that I am a total dork. I can’t speak to famous people and it is one of the main reasons I never want to meet any of my favourites in real life. Jared was clearly an anomaly. So I got to Jensen, and he was playing something almost techno. It wasn’t good, but I’m not a techno girl so the only thing that came out of my mouth was:

“His music’s better than yours.”

My brain is screaming at me, threatening me with imploding just to get out of the situation my stupid mouth had put me in. And Jensen just looked at me.

“What’s he playing?” he asks me. I’m beet red at this point. I’m surprised anything came out of my mouth to be absolutely honest with you.

“Bon Jovi,” I almost whispered, the words fighting past my brain who had apparently decided that I wasn’t allowed to speak properly for the rest of the weekend.

“Still?” He asks, and all I do is nod. And then he looks at his assistant and goes: “Put some Zeppelin on or something will ya, cos that’s the second person who’s told me that,” and then he smiled and I escaped.

So with all that being said, It was Jon Bon Jovi’s 61st birthday last week. And as well as this story living in my head rent free at all times and playing back on a continual loop, I also started to think about how Bon Jovi was a bit of a ‘guilty pleasure’ band when it came to Supernatural. From Dean making fun of Sam for checking in under the name Sambora (the original lead guitarist from Bon Jovi), to them singing Wanted in season 3…they were never seen as seriously as bands like AC/DC, Kansas and the like.

However, I made up a playlist of my favourite Bon Jovi songs the other day so I could relive my teenage years, and as I was listening to it, it was jarring to realise how many of the songs had lyrics which really spoke to the characters of Dean, Sam and Cas. It’s weird, but as I was listening to the songs all I could see was where they might slip into the storyline. It might be the fan fic writer in me (who am I kidding, it definitely is), but it’s all I could think of and now I want to share it all here. So we’ve got the name of the song, who I think it relates to, the album and a clip of lyrics that I think prove my point…enjoy!

1 – Runaway (Bon Jovi, 1984)

“All your life all you asked when your daddy gonna talk to you, but we’re living in another world, tryin’ to get your message through. No one heard a single word you said. They should have seen it in your eyes, what was going around your head…”

Well this is clearly pre-season 1 Sam. I see it as him trying to get it through to John about how he wanted something different from his life.

2 – You Give Love a Bad Name (Slippery When Wet, 1986)

“An angel’s smile is what you sell, you promise me heaven then put me through hell. Chains of love, got a hold on me, when passion’s a prison you can’t break free…”

I see this as a young Dean. Womanising, young, just sleeping through the lower 48…loving and leaving them really. A bit of an edge and dangerous with it too…you know exactly the person he changes from as Supernatural continues on

3 – I’d Die For You (Slippery When Wet, 1986)

“If you could see inside my heart, then you would understand, I’d never mean to hurt you, baby, I’m not that kind of man. I might not say I’m sorry, yeah I might talk tough sometimes, and I might forget the little things or keep you hangin’ on the line…”

So I would definitely say this was pretty much Dean’s personal anthem for Sam. I don’t think much more explanation is needed but this is literally Dean’s mantra when it comes to his baby brother. It shows that he is flawed but everything he is doing he does it for Sam. It may be a love song originally but the words really do ring true with brotherly love too.

4 – Bad Medicine (New Jersey, 1988)

“I ain’t got a fever, I got a permanent disease, it’ll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy, I got lots of money but it isn’t what I need, gonna take more than a shot to get this poison out of me. And I got all the symptoms, count em, one, two, three…”

Well if this isn’t just how Ruby got Sam hooked on Demon Blood?

5 – Born to be my Baby (New Jersey, 1988)

“Light a candle, blow the world away, table for two on a TV tray. It ain’t fancy baby, but that’s okay, our time, our way. So hold me close better hang on tight, buckle up baby it’s a bumpy ride, we’re two kids hitching down the road of life, our world, our fight…”

So I see this as a young Dean not knowing any nursery rhymes and singing this to Sam to get him to sleep when they were alone and John was out hunting…

6 – Keep the Faith (Keep the Faith, 1992)

“Father, father, please believe me, I am laying down my guns. I am broken like an arrow, forgive me, forgive your Wayward Son…”

Well taking the obvious quote out of the way…this is for Dean. About Dean.

7 – Hey God (These Days, 1995)

“Hey God, tell me what the hell is going on. It seems like all the good shit’s gone, It keeps on getting harder hangin’ on, but hey, hey, hey, hey God. There’s nights you know I wanna scream, these days you’re even harder to believe, I know how busy you must be, but hey, hey, hey, hey God, do you even think about me?”

So I’m seeing this as Season 4 and 5 Dean and even Cas a bit later on, when he starts to question Chuck’s plan. When they all think that Chuck is good and have no idea what his plan actually is for them all…

8 – These Days (These Days, 1995)

“I was walking around, just a face in the crowd, tryin’ to keep myself out of the rain. Saw a vagabond king with a Styrofoam crown wonder if I might end up the same. There’s a man out on the corner, singing old songs about change, everybody’s got their cross to bear these days…”

I have Castiel in my head, just been made newly human and been thrown out of the Bunker and abandoned by Dean and trying to get through his new life.

9 – It’s My Life (Crush 2000)

“It’s my life, it’s now or never, but I ain’t gonna live forever, I just want to live while I’m alive. My heart it’s like an open highway, like Frankie said ‘I did it my way’, I just wanna live while I’m alive…”

Is this Sam and Dean when they realise they are Michael and Lucifer’s vessels?

10 – Undivided (Bounce, 2002)

“I found spirit, they couldn’t ruin it, I found courage in the smoke and dust, I found faith in the sounds of silence, deep down it’s ringing out in each of us,”

Pretty much the entire undercurrent of the second half of the series. The way in which Cas and the Winchesters fight back each time against fate and what has been written for them.

11 – Everyday (Bounce, 2002)

“I used to be the kind of guy, who never let you look inside, I’d smile when I was crying, I had nothing but a life to lose, thought I had a lot to prove, in my life there’s no denying…”

This is exactly how Dean was in the beginning before his character growth. He had to be the strong fighter and not show any weakness at all (‘no chick flick moments’)

12 – Bounce (Bounce, 2002)

“Bounce, bounce, nothing’s gonna keep me down, bounce, bounce, stand up shout it out, bounce bounce, I play hard I play to win, count me out, count me in, I’ll be coming back again…”

This is Sam, Dean and Cas. Dead and out so many times but they always find a way to come back. And that’s why we love them

13 – Always (Crossroads, 1994)

“And I, will love you, baby, Always, and I’ll be there forever and a day, always. I’ll be there til the stars don’t shine, til the heavens burst and the words don’t rhyme, and I know, when I die, you’ll be on my mind and I’ll love you always…”

Well unlucky number thirteen and my last choice is for everyone’s favourite angel, Castiel. I don’t think I need to explain this one??

Anyway, here’s the link for the playlist with all of these on them and a few more that I love so have a listen if you’ve gotten this far and let me know what you think:

[lochtayboatsong]

The Jesus Christ Superstar essay absolutely no one asked for.

Last weekend, I watched the pro-shot of the 2012 arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar starring Ben Forster, Tim Minchin, and Melanie C, because it was Easter and it was up on YT for the weekend.  I never managed to do my annual listen-through of Leonard Bernstein’s Mass this year, as is my usual Easter tradition, so I figured “Why not watch/listen to this instead?”  It was my first time seeing and hearing JCS in full, and Y’ALL, it has been living rent-free in my brain ever since.  I have a mighty need to get my thoughts out, so here they are, in chronological order by song.  

1) Prologue: I love the way JCS 2012 makes use of the arena video screen.  The production design and concept clearly took a lot of inspiration from the “Occupy ______” movement, which makes it feel a bit dated now.  But every single production of JCS is a product of its time period, so this is a feature and not a bug.  

2) Heaven On Their Minds: This is a straight-up rock song.  It wouldn’t be out of place on any rock and roll album released between 1970 and 2021, and it boggles my mind that Webber and Rice were both in their early twenties when they wrote it.  Also, the lyric “You’ve begun to matter more than the things you say” hits hard no matter the year.

3) What’s the Buzz: A+ use of the arena screens again, this time bringing in social media to set the tone.  Also, this song establishes right from the outset that Jesus is burnt out and T I R E D by this point in the story.  Seriously, can we just let this man have a nap?

4) Strange Thing Mystifying: Judas publicly calls out Mary and Jesus claps back.  Folx, get you a partner who will defend your honor the way Jesus defends MM in this scene.  Also Jesus loses his shoes and is mostly barefoot for the remainder of the show.

5) Everything’s Alright: Okay, this is one of the songs I have A LOT to say about.  First, it’s important to know that I was a church musician throughout all of my adolescence and into my early adulthood.  The pianist at the services I usually played at was a top-notch jazz pianist, and also my piano teacher for about six years while I as in high school and undergrad.  (Incidentally, I had a HUGE crush on his son, who was/is a jazz saxophonist and clarinetist and also played in the church band, but that’s a story for another day.)  One of the hymns we played a few times a year was called “Sing of the Lord’s Goodness,” which is notable for being in 5/4 time.  Whenever this hymn was on the schedule, it was usually the recessional, or the last song played as the clergy processed out and the congregation got ready to leave, so we were able to have some fun with it.  After a couple verses the piano player and his son would usually morph it into “Take Five,” a famous jazz standard by Dave Brubeck which is also in 5/4 time.  Anyway, the first time I listened to this song in full, it got to Judas’s line “People who are hungry, people who are starving,” and I sat bolt upright and went “HOLY SHIT THIS IS ‘SING OF THE LORD’S GOODNESS/TAKE FIVE.’”  And I was ricocheted back in time to being fourteen and trying to keep up with this father/son duo in a cavernous Catholic church while simultaneously making heart-eyes at the son.  Final note: This is the only song in the musical to feature all three leads (Jesus, Judas, and Mary Magdalene) and is mostly Jesus and MM being soft with each other in between bouts of Jesus and Judas snarling at one another.

6) This Jesus Must Die: I LOVE that all the villains in this production are in tailored suits.  LOVE IT.  Also, Caiaphas and Annas are a comedy duo akin to “the thin guy and the fat guy,” except in this case it’s “the low basso profundo and the high tenor.”  Excellent use of the arena video screen again, this time as CCTV.

7) Hosanna: My background as a church musician strikes back again.  It honestly took me two or three listens to catch it, but then I had another moment of sitting bolt upright and going “HOLY SHIT THIS IS A PSALM.”  Psalms sung in church usually take the form of call-and-response, with a cantor singing the verses and the congregation joining in for the chorus.  If I close my eyes during this song, I have no trouble imagining Jesus as a church cantor singing the verses and then bringing the congregation in for the “Ho-sanna, Hey-sanna” chorus. 

8) Simon Zealotes: This is part “Gloria In Excelsis” and part over-the-top Gospel song.  Honestly it’s not my favorite, but it marks an important mood change in the show.  The end of “Hosanna” is probably Jesus at his happiest in the entire show, and then Simon comes in and sours the mood by trying to tip the triumphant moment into a violent one.  Jesus is not truly happy again from this moment on.

9) Poor Jerusalem: Also not my fave.  It kinda reads like Webber and Rice realized that Jesus didn’t have a solo aria in Act I, so they came up with this.  But it has the distinction of containing the lyric, “To conquer death you only have to die,” which is the biggest overarching theme of the story.

10) Pilate’s Dream: Pontius Pilate might be the most underrated role in this entire show, and I love that this production has him singing this song while being dressed in judge’s robes.  

11) The Temple: The first half of this is one of the campiest numbers in Act I, at least in this production, and it’s awesome.  The second half is one of the saddest, as Jesus tries to heal the sick but finds there are too many of them.  Also the whole scene is almost entirely in 7/8 time, which I think is just cool.

12) I Don’t Know How To Love Him: Mary Magdalene’s big aria, and one of the songs I knew prior to seeing the full-length show.  This production has MM taking off her heavy lipstick and eye makeup onstage, mid-song, which is kind of cool.  Melanie C says in a BTS interview that MM’s makeup is her armor, so this is a Big Symbolic Moment.

13) Damned For All Time: The scene transition into this song is played entirely in pantomime, and I love it.  The solo guitarist gets to be onstage for a bit, A+ use of the video screen again to show Judas on CCTV, etc.  Love it.  And then this song is Judas frantically rationalizing what he’s doing, and what he’s about to do, with Caiphas and Annas just reacting with raised eyebrows and knowing looks.

14) Blood Money: This is where the tone of the show really takes a turn for the dark.  I think this might be one of Tim Minchin’s finest moments as Judas, because his facial expressions and microexpressions throughout this scene speak absolute volumes.  And the offstage chorus quietly singing “Well done Judas” as he picks up the money is a positively chilling way to end Act I.

15) The Last Supper: Act II begins with major “Drink With Me” vibes.  (Except JCS came WAY before Les Miz, so it’s probably more accurate to say that “Drink With Me” has major “The Last Supper” vibes.)  Jesus and Judas have their knock-down, drag-out fight, and it’s honestly heartbreaking, thanks again to Tim Minchin’s facial expressions.  A well-done production of JCS will really convey that Jesus and Judas were once closer than brothers, even though their relationship is at breaking point when Act I begins.

16) Gethsemane: This is Jesus’s major showpiece and one of my faves.  Jesus knows he has less than 24 hours to live, he knows he’s going to suffer, and worst of all, he doesn’t know whether it’s going to be worth it.  It’s an emotional rollercoaster to watch and to perform, and it goes on for ages: something like 6 or 7 minutes.  Fun fact: the famous G5 is not written in the score.  Ian Gillan, who played Jesus on the original concept album, just sang it that way, so most subsequent Jesuses have also done it that way.  Lindsay Ellis has a great supercut of this on YT.  John Legend notably sang the line as written during the 2018 concert.  

17) The Arrest: Judas’s Betrayer’s Kiss is played differently across different productions.  The 2012 version is pretty tame - I’ve seen clips and gifs of other productions, including the 2000 direct-to-video version, where they kiss fully on the mouth and have to be dragged apart by the guards and it is THE MOST TENDER THING.  Then the 7/8 riff from “The Temple” comes back and the 2012 version lets the video screen do its thing again as Jesus is swarmed by reporters.

18) Peter’s Denial: Not much to say about this one, as it’s basically a scene transition.  But it’s a significant moment in the Passion story, so I’m glad they included it.

19) Pilate and Christ: The 2012 production continues with the theme of Caiaphas, Annas, and Pilate all being bougie af, since Pilate intentionally looks like he just came from tennis practice during this scene.  Also he does pilates...hehehe.

20) King Herod’s Song: Tim Minchin says in a BTS interview that JCS works best when Jesus and Judas are played seriously and the rest of the production is allowed to be completely camp and wild and bizarre all around them, and he is bloody well CORRECT about that.  Case in point: King Herod.  There is not a single production of JCS that I know of where Herod is played “straight.”  He’s been played by everyone from Alice Cooper to Jack Black, and everyone puts a different zany spin on him.  In JCS 2012 he’s a chat show host in a red crushed velvet suit, who is clearly having the time of his LIFE. 

21) Could We Start Again Please: This is another of my faves.  Just a quiet moment where MM, Peter, and the disciples try to grapple with the fact that Jesus is arrested and things are going very, very badly.  This is also my favorite Melanie C moment of the 2012 show.  Her grief is very real, and the little moment she has with Peter at the end is very real.

22) Death of Judas: This is basically Tim Minchin screaming for about five minutes, and incredibly harrowing to watch on first viewing.  

23) Trial Before Pilate: Possibly my single favorite scene in the entire 2012 production.  This is another harrowing watch, but there’s so much to take in.  The “set” that the entire show takes place on is essentially just a massive staircase, and the people with power are almost always positioned above the people without power.  In this scene, the crowd shouting “Crucify Him!” is positioned above Pilate, which is a very telling clue to Pilate’s psychology during this scene.  Jesus is at the very bottom of the stairs, of course.  Excellent use of the video screen once again during the 39 Lashes, to show the lash marks building and building until the entire screen is a wash of red.  Pilate’s counting also gets more and more frantic, especially starting around “20.”  And all the while the guitar riff from “Heaven On Their Minds” is playing.  Jesus’s line “Everything is fixed and you can’t change it” is played quite differently in different productions - here it’s defiant, but elsewhere (in JCS 2000 for example) it’s almost tender, like Jesus is absolving Pilate for his part in the trial.  But it always ends the same - with Pilate almost screaming as he passes the sentence and “washes his hands” of the whole sorry business. 

24) Superstar: The most over-the-top number in the show.  Judas, who died two scenes ago, comes back to sing this.  There are soul singers.  There are girls in skimpy angel costumes.  The parkour guys from the prologue are back.  Judas pulls a tambourine out of hammerspace midway through the song.  And Jesus is silently screaming and crying as he gets hoisted onto a lighting beam while all this is going on.

25) The Crucifixion: More of a spoken-word piece than a song, it’s Jesus’s final words on the cross over eerie piano music, and another harrowing watch.

26) John 19:41: An instrumental piece in which Jesus is taken from the cross and carried, at last, to the top of the stairs, before being lowered out of sight as the video screen turns into a memorial wall and everything fades to black.

So.  I know I’m anywhere from three to fifty-one years late to this particular party, but I am on the JCS bandwagon now and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself.  :)

[fatoujallovv]

gif maker appreciation tag: skamverse edition

tagged by @yaraaimsakul thanks for starting this it’s so cute 🥺🥺

rules: answer these questions and tag anyone you’d like (gif maker or not!) to help spread the appreciation. if you’re not a gif maker, ignore the first part

if you’re a gif maker...

a gifset you’re really proud of: this kieutou set from alt er valentines week i think turned out rlly nice and it was a very tedious process but i was super happy with the result 🥺 also this clip is an all time fave can’t believe i forgot about it for favorite clip day the other day 🤧🤧

a gifset of your favorite remake: i don’t know that i even have one? i have favorite seasons but they’re all over the place skdjfj so let’s go with skamfr s3 the classic ellie favorite 😌 this eliott coloring set turned out looking like cotton candy and i just love him and i usually struggle with big gifs bc i’m obsessed with giffing really long shots sjdjfj but im glad i went with it for this 🥺

a gifset that you wish would get more notes: this lil kieutou set was a lyric from a song my sister loves that she played for me and said this line was her favorite 🥺 and i just love the lyric so much like clicked your heels! and found your hand in mine! like you click your frickin heels and the ruby slippers take you home but home is !!!! a person not a place pls i cry 🤧

a gifset where you tried something new: i’m really proud of this glitch effect set i made the other day i just messed around and did lots of trial and error with textures and coloring etc that i’d never tried before and i think it turned out really cool 🥺 honorable mention to this kieu my set that i tried clipping masks on for the first time :D

spread the love!

a gifset of your favorite remake: let’s keep going with the skamfr s3 thing i present to you miss @luxandobscurus using those braincells to the max with this elu + xo set that genuinely gives me chills it’s soooooo good

a gifset of a remake you haven’t watched/don’t like/isn’t your favorite: i haven’t watched italia nor am i a big fan of noora seasons in general but whew is this eleonora set by bestie @lucasotteli stunning like . wow the colors n clarity are simply beyond comprehension also haven’t watched nl yet ik im ridiculous kajdjf but @rorygilmcre u popped off with this set like i haven’t even watched yet and the vibes feel Right like that’s the aura i get from that remake

a gifset with a cool layout: everything @tsjernobyl does is siiiiiick but the hotel patterns layout is just sooooo interesting!!!! also this polaris set by @smblmn !!!!!!! literally sooooo big brained and incredible like the story unfolds through the gifs i can’t imagine being that patient and talented

tag someone who does beautiful coloring: we don’t really know each other but @alinok 🥺 every one of your sets has such stunning and rich colors they’re all so so beautiful i don’t even think i could pick just one to highlight 🥺

tag someone who inspires you to make gifsets: jovana @yasminasrobbe does such clean yet complex sets and the coloring and the shapes and textures and little details are always so good every set of urs makes me want to open up photoshop and experiment 🥺

tag someone who you’ve discovered recently: @birthdaysentiment obvs i’ve been mutuals with u for a lil while but i feel like u started giffing really recently (correct me if i’m wrong) and you’re already making some seriously gorgeous sets n ur so good at coloring!!! idk if this counts aksjfj but i feel like i haven’t properly “discovered�� someone in the past few weeks and my goldfish brain can’t think earlier than that lmao

tag someone who you’ve admired for forever: @nooraevas basically is the queen of everything and i’ve always looked up to her so much as a content creator 🥺 so so talented and lovely ily valentina 🥺💛💛💛 (also tutu i admire u a ton too tehe i hope u notice this all the way at the end of this insanely long post rip sorry for rambling as always)

tagging everyone mentioned + @vexedtonightmares @ijzerengels @buckywilsn @yasminaselamrani @arzkiya-hai @fatoudixon @genjasafin @lifeisevak @hidden-joy @sandersyasmina but pls ignore if ur not feeling like it 🥺💓

[greene-rph]

REEFER MADNESS LYRIC PROMPTS.

tw for implied/mentioned abuse, drug use, cannibalism, sexual themes and murder.

REEFER MADNESS.

their heads are on the chopping block and someone's got to dare to take a stand

it could be your son or daughter with a deadly stick of reefer in their hand!

pull the wool from your eyes!

teenagers across the land are glazed and oversexed

If you fail to draw the line, your babies will be next!

ROMEO AND JULIET.

my mom says youre a boy that’s going places.

you don’t talk about me to your mom, do you?

are you trying to woo me, ___?

you sound so dreamy when you talk like shakespeare!

we are just like romeo and juliet.

we are just like romeo and juliet: we’re happy, young and bubbling with love!

i can’t wait to read the ending!

THE STUFF.

I ought to leave him, but something makes me stay

I'd try to kill him, but my guy gives me love

He throws me down the stairs, but deep inside he cares

I was a student, good grades and so naive

i’m not addicted, no.

i like to have my fun, no harm to anyone

Nothing numbs me better than the stuff!

JIMMY TAKES A HIT.

I thought you were gonna give me dance lessons!

smoke it, you may choke at first but then the worst is over

don’t be a chicken!

don’t do it! don’t be a fool!

THE ORGY.

plan to stay the night.

i have never felt this way before.

lose the underpants.

someone save me!

there’s no place to hide.

if a year goes by, it might seem a day. if a day goes by, it could take a year.

i’ve been eagerly expecting you.

LONELY PEW.

the sermon today was really exciting.

all that and more thundered down from the sky.

i reached for your hand like i always do, but beside me was just an empty wooden pew.

they don’t keep me company.

a gloomy church that you’re not in can lead a girl to mortal sin.

a lady asked “is this seat taken?” i lied, i guess! i told her “yes”

i lied, i guess.

or could it be you’re tired of me?

it’s a line of thought i’d rather not pursue.

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

I don’t think you realize how “cool” god can be.

your brain has turned to marmalade.

satan’s bold, loves to lie. don’t reply.

listen to jesus, ___.

just say no to the marihuana.

do i need to test your urine?

is that what it’s gonna take to get this through your head?

MARY JANE/MARY LANE.

there’s blood on my hands.

I can’t count the strangers with whom i have showered.

i’ve taken a life.

you wreck me.

you flushed my future down the drain.

i need you… i love you…

what are you doing out here in the middle of the night?

did you take my car…?

i don’t know what you’re talking about, but i like the sound of it!

the world may crumble, we’ll remain.

ACT ONE FINALE.

we’ll find our long lost laughter and live happily ever after like the play.

before this deadly night was done, their love would be shattered by a loaded gun.

he squeals, i’ll have every copper in town looking to cancel my christmas.

what’s with the firepower?

i’m bringing him back, one way or another.

i got my hand on the trigger, and if it comes down to him or me i’ll pull it.

i can’t be saved.

i’ve got to run away.

someone must pay.

JIMMY ON THE LAMB.

gotta run, gotta hide

and i am to blame.

they will wish they‘d never known me.

___‘s off on the lamb where nobody can find them.

LITTLE MARY SUNSHINE.

my head feels a little funny…

its time that you learned to be bad.

snuggle up, my buttercup, ‘cause you’ve been had.

lose yourself in pleasure.

i feel a little naughty.

i’ll tie you up with phone chord, we’ll play with whomps and nipple clips and candle wax.

let’s not get carried away.

down on your knees.

it’s pointless to fight.

save your strength, it’s gonna be a lengthy night.

reefer has blown out her mind.

don’t you run, i’m not done.

whats your rush? you’re not having fun?

shut up, bitch.

MARY’S DEATH.

we are just like romeo and juliet. we’re happy, young and haemorrhaging blood.

was it perfect?

it makes me happy knowing that we loved like romeo and…

MURDER.

i’m about to fry while you and your friends stand idly by.

im gonna miss my senior prom.

you murdered me.

didn’t you see the kid? he’s haunting me!

remember me, ___? i’ve been sent to hell

it hurts a lot to bend, but at least i’ve made a friend

you murdered them.

he’s losing it.

he’s liable to crack and spill all he knows.

he’d never be missed, i could murder him.

he bit me!

he’s not gonna stop!

we murdered them.

you do the things you gotta do in this dog eat dog eat dog world.

THE STUFF (REPRISE)

the kid’s a goner.

it’s gotta stop.

let go of me!

i’m trying to comfort you here.

i should show him the door, he treats me like a whore.

get away from me!

you’re not so tough.

you once had all the brains, now they’re just carpet stains.

[dansedan]

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DISCO ELYSIUM COMMUNITY HERE IS MY BOLERO/LATIN POP HARRY DU BOIS PLAYLIST FUCK YOU PAY ME 

(liner notes and English lyric translations under the cut, listen-along with the playlist!)

(warning, LONG LONG post)

BOLERO ELYSIUM:

1.       No Soy Nada- Harry mourning over Dora.

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

My love, how I would like to have you with me

Turn back the clock and feel your heartbeat again

My love, how I wish not to be alive for today

And that you can be born again, walk your way

 [Chorus]

And sorry for crying at your feet, unable to see your face

For the sake of both of us I’ll leave, if it’ll make you smile tomorrow

And now I know that I do not do you as well as I imagined

It is not me that you should love because I am nothing

 [Verse 2]

My love, I never meant to be bad, I swear

And as much as I tried and improved, it is not enough for me

 [Chorus]

And sorry for crying at your feet, unable to see your face

For the sake of both of us I’ll leave, if it’ll make you smile tomorrow

And now I know that I do not do you as well as I imagined

It is not me that you should love because I am nothing

 It’s a good, simple angst chanson. Very accurate for a drunk idiot mourning over a relationship and self-flagellating.

 2. Te Fuiste a Tiempo- battle-tested relationshit/partner-divorce

Translated lyrics:

[INTRO]

You could’ve killed me like this,

So cruel and merciless

 [Verse 1]

You left on time

Because you were starting to be a necessity

How lucky was I

When fate gave me my freedom

 You left on time

Because I was beginning to understand that you were a disguise

And with the cynicism of a mirage

You asked for one more kiss

 [Chorus]

I hung a sigh from the spark of your hair

Like a comet that knew it was going to the ground

I gave you my wings when I was just taking off

I gave you everything and even neglected myself

 [Post-chorus]

You could kill me (Ah, ah, ah)

So cruel and slow (Ah, ah, ah)

But it was better ...

You left on time

 (The ra ra ra ra ...)

 [Chorus]

I hung a sigh from the spark of your hair

Like a comet that knew it was going to the ground

I gave you my wings when I was just taking off

I gave you everything and even neglected myself

 [Post-chorus]

You could kill me (Ah, ah, ah)

So cruelly and slowly (Ah, ah, ah)

But it was better ...

You left o-o-o-on time

 From the point of view of both of them!!! fucking insane dudes. It’s an April fools playlist of boleros so I am not going to pretend to have nuance here they are pining cheesily. Jean and “I gave you my wings when I was just taking off/I gave you everything and even neglected myself” makes me see red. Plus the idea of Very Soppily switching Jean’s attempts at having Harry… Not Do What He’s About To Do as “one last kiss” is. Soppy and amazing ok shut up.

 4.       El Último Trago- the bender of apocaliptic proportions

Translated lyrics:

Drink this bottle with me

And after the last drink we’ll leave

I want to see what forgetting you tastes like

Without putting your hands over my eyes

 Tonight I'm not going to beg you

Tonight you're really going to go;

How hard it is to have to leave you

Without feeling that you no longer love me

 The years have taught me nothing

I always make the same mistakes

Yet again toasting with strangers

And crying over the same pains

 Drink this bottle with me

And after the last drink, kiss me

Let’s hope there are no witnesses

Just in case you were embarrassed

 If one day we accidentally meet again

Do not bend down or speak to me directly;

Let us simply shake hands

And let the people murmur after

 The years have taught me nothing

I always make the same mistakes

Yet again toasting with strangers

And crying over the same pains

 Drink this bottle with me

And after the last drink we’ll leave...

 It’s the LAST DRINK hah see what I did there but also it’s a song about the foibles of drunkenness and drunken romantics so it’s very apt for harry trying to drown his Dora-related sorrows in alcohol. Poor mans. Also Dolores does just mean “pains” in here but. Dolores…

5.       No Soy de Aquí Ni Soy de Allá- Amnesia (hah, get it. Geddit. Yes this is mostly here because of the name but LOOK THERE’S MORE)

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

I like the sun, Alice and the doves

good cigars and bad ladies

Jumping walls and opening windows

And when a woman cries

I like wine as much as flowers

And rabbits, but not tractors

And homemade bread and the voice of Dolores

And the sea wetting my feet.

 [Chorus]

I am not from here, neither from there

I have no age nor future

And being happy is the color of my identity

 [Verse 2]

I like to always be lying in the sand

To chase Manuela on my steed

For all the time, to see the stars

With Mary in the wheat field

 [Chorus]

I am not from here, neither from there

I have no age nor future

And being happy is the color of my identity

 [Verse 3]

I like the sun, Alice and the doves

good cigars and bad ladies

Jumping walls and opening windows

And when a woman cries

 Okay so hear me out: the stupid boiadero rugged macho man listing shit he likes to seem cool? So good for early amnesia Harry. This has Raphael Ambrosius Costeau written all over it. The mild mysoginy is only the cherry on top but all the random-ass nonsense lines that are just there to sound cool is perfect for Harry just. Saying shit and seeing if it sticks. Also the song bops so it’s here. Also like… “bad ladies” = klaasje thirst, “Jumping walls and opening windows” = the jamrock shuffle, “I like wine as much as flowers” = commodore red, forget-me-nots, “the sea wetting my feet”= Martinaise… ey? Ey? Ey?? Am I saying Jorge cafurne predicted disco Elysium? I don’t know but I’m sure saying SOMETHING. Also this would be a great ARB karaoke song.

 6.       Diez pasos hacia tí- getting to know Kim

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

Life left us crossed

In a very casual way

You came like the sun

Stealing my shadow gradually

 Any leak of light

Everything was a sign

Ten steps towards you

A thousand doubts over me

And the fear, naturally.

 [Chorus]

You made me tremble like that (You made me tremble like that)

Like the moon over the water

And then I let go (And then I let go)

To embrace your gaze

And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)

But it was in a kiss that I met you

 Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh, ten steps towards you

Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh

 Any leak of light

Served as a signal

Ten steps towards you

A thousand doubts about me

And the natural fear

 You made me tremble like that (You made me tremble like that)

Like the moon over the water

And then I let go (And then I let go)

To embrace your gaze

And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)

But it was in a kiss that I met you

 You made me shake like that (You made me shake like that)

Like the moon over the water

And then I let go (And then I let go)

To swim in your gaze

And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)

But it was in a kiss that I met you

 Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh, ten steps towards you

Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh

 Okay so clearly they don’t kiss YET but. We’re keeping on the theme of being very very cheesy and romantic because this is a shitpost playlist so here is a song with some vibes of slowly allowing yourself to trust someone who takes a bit of darkness from your life. “any leak of light”, “you arrived like the sun”, sunrise parabellum… also I love Harry being weak for Kim so “you made me tremble like that” is just. Yes thank you.

 7.       Soy un Corpóreo y Dentro de Mí Hay una Actriz Recién Titulada Llorando -superstar cop

Translated lyrics:

[Chorus]

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

 [Post-Chorus]

And in the official photos

I appear smiling with the children of the place

And in the promo clips

The sobs that inhabit me cannot be heard

 [Verse 1]

The show must go on

Experts indicate that it is the best

Two out of three recommend it

For your daily use

 [Chorus]

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

 [Post-Chorus]

And in the official photos

I appear smiling with the children of the place

And in the promo clips

The sobs that inhabit me cannot be heard

 [Verse 2]

I have no other life than the one that sweats inside of me

And I don't want it to go, and I don't want it to go

It is that I have no other life than the one that cries inside me

And without her I am nothing, and without her I am nothing

 [Outro]

And without her I am nothing, and without her I am nothing

And without her I am nothing, and without her I am nothing

 OK SO THIS ONE IS HEAVY but for both the tentatively-affectionately-titled “terminal cop brain” that Harry (and Kim and Jean) suffer as well as a touch of his internal struggle with his own self-hate and depression AND Dora shit it is here. Superstar cop just needs to buckle up his disco belt and bring down the law (no he doesn’t he needs a lot of real actual help but uh. Okay harrier.)

 8.       Lo Mal que Estoy y Lo Poco que me Quejo- the jamrock shuffle around Martinaise

Translated lyrics:

[Chorus]

How bad I am and how little I complain

How bad I am and how little I complain

 [Verse 1]

I always get up with my foot looking at the ground

The mute voice greets me from afar

He gives me his silence but I play the idiot

Looking in the mirror

 [Verse 2]

And the mirror gives me its reflection without mine

I assume it and I continue but I do not trust myself

I self-diagnose without even minimal success

And so I get depressed

 [Chorus]

How bad I am and how little I complain

How bad I am and how little I complain

I have my soul in quarantine and my body is broken

What pain, what pity and what torment

 [Verse 3]

I go out to the sidewalks, my walking out of tune

My suitcase full of boulders

My smile upside-down from climbing so many stairs

Without getting anywhere

 [Verse 4]

And history criticizes me because I'm always grieving

And I tell them ‘poor is he who hides his crying’

A brick doesn’t know how to cry

But it doesn’t follow a beat well either

 [Chorus]

How bad I am and how little I complain

How bad I am and how little I complain

I have my soul in quarantine and my body is broken

What pain, what pity and what torment

 [Bridge]

And how my whole life hurts

And the doctor has told me

That calls into question the truest truth

That I'm late to the niche

And that to each new pain I look for a placebo

 [Outro]

My donkey, my donkey's love hurts

Because nobody loves him, only me

And grief greets me when I'm laughing the most

My heart is full of patches

My donkey, my donkey's love hurts

Because nobody loves him, only me

And grief greets me when I'm laughing the most

My heart is full of patches

Chin pon!

 Is this not the most perfect song for the absolute insanity of mr. Du Bois? First, the catchy fucking tempo, let us enjoy how splendidly jaunty it is. Amazing. Then, all the stuff about the mirror, ESPECIALLY “And the mirror gives me its reflection without mine/ I assume it and I continue but I do not trust myself”. Also the line “And history criticizes me because I'm always grieving/And I tell them ‘poor is he who hides his crying’” feels so much like an argument between Harry and skills over Dora shit… this song is also just a bop.

 9.       Algo Contigo- falling in love with Kim (which is a canonical event fuck you)

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

Do I need to tell you

That I am dying to have something with you?

Have you not noticed

How much it costs me to be your friend?

I can no longer get close to your mouth

Without desiring you in a crazy way

I need to control your life

To know who kisses you and who shelters you

 [Verse 2]

Do I need to tell you

That I am dying to have something with you?

Have you not noticed

How much it costs me to be your friend?

I can no longer continue spying

Day and night, guessing when you’ll arrive

I don't even know with what innocent excuse to pass by your house, oh-oh

I have so few roads left

And although it may seem like a folly to you

I would not want to die without having something with you

 [Verse 3]

Do I need to tell you

That I'm dying to have something with you, oh

Have you not noticed

How much it costs me to be your friend?

I can no longer get close to your mouth

Without desiring you in a crazy way

I need, baby, to control your life

Know who kisses you and who shelters you

I have very few roads left

And although it may seem like a folly to you

I would not want die without having something with you

 [Outro]

(Something with you, something with you)

baby, I wouldn't want to die without having (Something with you)

Something with you (Something with you)

Sad the fate that awaits me without being able to get to know you (Something with you)

Something with you (Something with you)

There is no excuse, there is nothing I have to lose

(Something with you)

Like a slave (Something with you)

A slave forever, I wouldn't mind being

(Something with you)

Eternally slave (Something with you)

Girl, I wouldn't want to die without having (Something with you)

Something with you (Something with you)

Sad is the fate that awaits me without being able to get to know you (Something with you)

 Okay so for one it’s pretty clingy as a romance song so it’s already perfect. We’re choosing to ignore it’s sung to a woman shhhh but look, okay. “I can no longer get close to your mouth/Without desiring you in a crazy way” is one of my favorite love song lines ever because I’m that brand of idiot but LUCKILY SO IS HARRY DU FUCKING BOIS OKAY so it makes me think of… devastatingly cool smoking Kim. I laughed a lot at the way “Day and night, guessing when you’ll arrive” paralleled a lot of my friends’ testimonies of getting really bummed out that Kim left with the body and they couldn’t hang out with him anymore. Also the sort of desperate air of “I have so few roads left/And although it may seem like a folly to you/I would not want to die without having something with you” also pings really nicely with Harry’s state of mind and inexperience and the assumed (reasonable lol) reaction that Kim might have at figuring out about this very unstable man’s pining after him. I almost had a different version of this song but despite the cheesiness of this rendition I like the way the ending lines devolve into… even more desperation. You go to therapy Harry, maybe you’ll get to smooch Kim if that works out…

4.       Ya Sé- the final dream with Dora.

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

I know ... that you don't want to see me, I already know

That you are tired of my way of loving

That you don’t understand me and my jealousy does you wrong

That my caresses no longer shine on your skin

And that my nights are full of anxiety

 [Verse 2]

I know ... that you're with someone else, I already know

That you are calm and that you do not plan to return

That he has everything that he could never be

What are you saying that I have no dignity

That you don't care if I'm well or if I'm bad

 [Chorus]

Oh Love! Sorry if I call you to hear your voice

Sorry

I know you’re hating me

I'm leaving now! I want you to know something:

My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips

 [Verse 2]

I know ... that you're with someone else, I already know

That you are calm and that you do not plan to return

That he has everything that he could never be

What are you saying that I have no dignity

That you don't care if I'm well or if I'm bad

 [Chorus]

Oh Love! Sorry if I call you to hear your voice

Sorry

I know you’re hating me

I'm going now! I want you to know something:

My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips

 [Outro]

My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips

My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips

 Okay so the final dream kicked me in the emotional nuts and this is such a fucking fitting song. I mean, the phonecall had already killed me pretty hard, and the idea of Dora’s voice being so stuck in Harry’s mind that he can immediately react is… it’s a lot. I like the lip imagery here too bc I’m a slut for parallels between Kim and Dora, sue me. The self-flagellation and repetition and just… “ I know what you’re feeling but I don’t care I’m feeling this about it”  is so very fitting for the two of them… I just think about it a lot…

5.       Ódiame- Jean again… Jean in Martinaise…

Translated lyrics:

Love, don't forget me

Please,

Hate me

 Hate me as a mercy, I beg you

Hate me without measure or clemency

Hate, I want, more than indifference

Because  resentment wants less than oblivion

 Hate me for mercy I ask you

Hate me without measure or mercy

Hate, I want, more than indifference

Because  resentment wants less than oblivion

 If you hate me, I’ll be convinced

That you loved me well, with insistence

But keep in mind, according to experience,

That you can only hate that which you love

 What is worth more, me, humble, you, proud

Or is it worth more, your weak beauty

Think that at the bottom of the burial pit

We’ll be wearing the same clothing

 What is worth more, me, humble, you, proud

Or is it worth more, your weak beauty

Think that at the bottom of the burial pit

We’ll be wearing the same clothing

 If you hate me, I’ll be convinced

That you loved me well, with insistence

But keep in mind, according to experience,

That you can only hate that which you love

 But keep in mind, according to experience,

That you can only hate that which you love

 OKAY SO THIS ONE IS JUICY AS WELL… the whole theme of hate vs forgetting is very directly a Harryjean dynamic but. Please consider the way that this song is very directly interpretable as Jean just. Straight up going into bargaining over the harry amnesia thing. Like, fuck, even if you’re gonna keep being a horrible abusive asshole and pushing me away, at least don’t go an forget me. WHAT A KICK IN THE FUCKING NUTS. Also love the Broderbund bullshit with “Think that at the bottom of the burial pit/We’ll be wearing the same clothing” because. Cop Angst and their equality as partners is Important To Me. Also definitely calling out Jean’s entire being with “ you can only hate that which you love”

6.       Sí Po’- Inviting Kim to the 41st (gay)/post-mart domestica

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

The stars aligned

You can't guess what happened

Do you remember that chore

That they had set me for today

 [Verse 2]

Yea, see, I managed to run it for tomorrow

I have all the time in the world for you

Mmm mmm mmm

Yea, see, just today that you are also free

We will have all the time in the world to do

Mmm mmm mmm

 [Pre-chorus 1]

It’s not like it was planned

Once it touches us

All the time giving up

Always going towards the crash

 Meeting deadlines that do not exist in practice

Fulfilling goals that you never set for yourself

 [Chorus]

"Let’s not go shopping, not today"

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

 [Verse 3]

The weight of the glue

It doesn't make sense if it's like this

Dying with the excuse (From!)

That there is no other way to live

 [Verse 4]

No, see, I want to spend more time with you

If a window opens I will take advantage of it

Mmm mmm mmm

Yeah, see, and now that you’re also free

We will have all the time in the world to do

Mmm mmm mmm

 [Pre-chorus 2]

More than enough

And I fully complain

But the time of the world

It's not that long either

 Meeting deadlines that do not exist in practice

Fulfilling goals that you never set for yourself

 [Chorus]

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

" Let’s not go shopping, not today " ("please!")

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

 [Outro]

With you I have the impression of being safe

That you don't always have to be doing something

 LOOK. LOOK. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THE TROPE OF THESE TWO ACTING LIKE EMBARASSED TEENAGERS AND THIS IS MY SHITPOST APRIL FOOLS PLAYLIST SO I AM GOING TO THROW IN A COOL TEEN CRUSH SONG SHUT UP. I love the intimacy of just. Groceries for each other, “casually” making time for each other, it’s just the best. Also “But the time of the world/It's not that long either” is HNNG with full game spoilers but you know what. It is also sweet. Fuck you, they want to spend quality time…

7.       Tartar de estár major- literally just a terrible cheesy “things will be better OR ELSE” credits scene type song

Translated lyrics:

Tell that old story

That despite everything some things remain

The moments lived

Memories that will remain

Deep in the soul

Nothing can make you forget

That we walked the same path

And the things that we did

 It was because we wanted to be

Again in this place

Despite the mistakes

Despite the flaws and virtues

I keep in me the best

Moments that will remain

Deep in the soul

 abandon everything and think no more

You can not forget what you lived

And your loved ones

They miss you when you are gone

They don't want to cry for you

 Many times

we had to be apart

And feel that despite the distance

We feel the same as each other always

 Nothing can make you forget

That we walked the same path

And the things we did was because we wanted to be

Again in this place

 Do not overthink it more

There is always a reason

Trying to revive

Trying to be better

 Trying to be better

 A song about memories… and being loved and values… and surviving through those memories and that love in order to try to become a better person……. That’s all I’m gonna say….

[moonbeamsung]

under the cut you will find my comprehensive brain dump about hot sauce <3

okay in addition to all the shitposts i made about the album as i listened for the first time, i have so much i wanna say about each track so here we go, even if no one reads this i don’t mind because i’m just posting it for myself! this is 15% semi-professional-sounding album review talk and the other 85% is me freaking out lol

hot sauce: someone said this is zimzalabim’s brother and i can’t stop thinking about it, but unlike that song it honestly didn’t take multiple listens for me to like the song itself. the only thing that was the slightest bit off-putting about it was the higher pitch of the chanting (which i still don’t know if i’m imagining or not) but i don’t mind it as much as i used to. the beat is so interesting and funky and the latin-ish(?) sound of some parts suits them unexpectedly well :,) all the members’ voices are so distinct and i think they all got a chance to shine, like even without looking at the line distribution it just seems pretty even to me when i listen. okay now onto the mv i think it’s super cool and when i saw it for the first time it felt like there was a lot going on and it was a little overwhelming but i think that’s just because it was 5 in the morning and my senses were overwhelmed lol (like the lyrics say o_o (i think??)) also JISUNG’S DANCE BREAK I AM ON THE FLOOR. he sounded so good sjdfbds. renjun’s adlibs (in the final chorus especially) are really something else and his lil duet part with jisung in prechorus 2 is amazing showstopping never been done before etc etc. haechan’s high note and jeno’s and mark’s (side note i can’t believe we really have 7dream again :,)) and jaemin’s raps and chenle’s voice throughout the entire thing are just,,, perfection omg. overall i love this song so much and think it was a great title track for them!!

diggity: IT GOES SO HARD IT’S CRAZY. first of all here are some timestamps that make me lose my mind: 0:30 i swear the adlib sounds like mark but the video shows that it’s renjun and he sounds😳whew. and 2:48.....jisung.........i can’t do this............for maximum pain watch a clip of him talking from 2016/2017 and then listen to this part but warning you may cry. HE SOUNDS SO SKDFBL WHEN DID HIS VOICE GET SO DEEP🥲like i knew it was but this is just. another level lmao but anyways, the bridge in this song as a whole sounds amazing!!! i’m very much in love with really small moments like the little “na na na”s in mark’s rap and the way they sound, sorta minor in tone. also love how the beats build up to the chorus each time and i just wanna bop my head to it! it seems like i hear new little harmonies and adlibs every time i listen and it’s such a nice mix of vocals and strong raps :)

dive into you: the VIBES of this song??? i liked it from the teaser but as i listen more and more it gets even better it seems. like imagine a summer roadtrip to the coast because that’s what this sounds like.  mark and jisung really started things off with one of the catchiest raps i’ve ever heard and everything about it is so perfect😩jaemin and jeno singing >>>> and chenle chose violence with his high note and hearing all the harmonies from every single one of them makes me so happy :> they’re so beautiful like aaaaa. also i just love the minor-sounding notes (that’s a favorite thing of mine can you tell) in the chorus with the “you-ooh” parts. VOCALIST JENO AT 2:36 IS THE PRETTIEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD DO YOU HEAR HIS HARMONY. can’t forget vocalist jisung either, any time he sings i’m just🥰which has happened a lot this cb which is GREAT :DD and then on top of all that, the track video is adorable and they look so happy!! driver haechan doesn’t hurt either lmao AND THE PERFORMANCES OF IT ARE SO CUTE TOO LIKE HHHH

my youth: something about this song sounds so nostalgic and it’s going on my driving playlist because it just gives me such a carefree feeling, like being on the highway or driving through a city at sunset. it’s really chill and it’s one of the softer songs on this album so it balances out the harder-hitting tracks :) jaemin’s rap is so nice, reminds me of how much i love his voice :( i heard a clip of them singing this song live and it doesn’t sound the slightest bit different, it really shows all their singing talents🥺

rocket: omg definitely another favorite of mine on the album, it’s so upbeat and reminds me of dream run!!! also it’s moonshine produced so you know it’s going to be a total bop. for some reason it feels like something that would play on a rollercoaster if they had music, the scales and the synth make it sound really fun and it’s extremely enjoyable to listen to, makes me wanna dance around :) jaemin’s rap with the little star wars line is cute hehe. and chenle’s “level up” part, he sounds SO GOOD! from the bridge towards the end, that’s my favorite part, it’s such an energetic beat and, like, bouncy? i guess? that’s not the best word but i really really really love this track☺️☺️☺️

countdown (3,2,1) : besides the fact that mark decided to k word me with that “explOsive” line at the opening i love this one too! it sounds futuristic almost. i never knew how much i needed to hear jisung say “control freak” before this and his singing voice at 1:15 and 3:11 and 3:24 is just wOw—plus his RAP I’M NOT GONNA RECOVER FOR A WHILE😔🤭......also love the transitions from jaemin into mark and then jeno for that part in the bridge and the buildup it has to the final chorus. i think haechan’s and renjun’s voices sound so good on this track like at that softer part? aND HOLY HECK IS HYUCK THE ONE DOING THOSE ADLIBS TOWARDS THE END BECAUSE IF SO DAMN. yes boys you are very dangerous

anl: why couldn’t they have just called it all night long because everyone’s reading it wrong🤠this one is really chill and i think the way it sounds kinda matches the vibe of their boring ver. photos, if that makes sense. it’s also going on my driving playlist!! i don’t know what to call the little twinkling sounds at the start but i love those, and mark’s voice is so soothing in this song🥺something about the way renjun sings “sky high” is gorgeous and jisung’s parts with the harmonies are truly a blessing to the ears :] the chorus sounds so inherently dream and i feel like track itself has something mature about it? (not in that way geez) but like it just shows how far they’ve come music-wise/vocally

irreplaceable: except for mark’s one english line in the bridge (you know the one don’t make me type it) (but it doesn’t make me cringe quite as much anymore) i also adore this song☺️if this track had a video, i’d picture it looking something like the cafe 7dream content. it sounds really acoustic and warm and like they could just be casually singing it together in a cozy cafe or studio! also, i realized that it reminds me of another dream song when i hear it and i figured out that it’s bye my first hehe. HAECHAN’S HIGH NOTE IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE BEST PART, MARRY ME SIR.

be there for you: literally the renhyuckle ballad we’ve always wanted!!! i don’t even have that much to say because it’s just so beautiful, all three of their voices blend so well together and it’s such a comforting track. nct’s slower and softer songs like this are very distinct and have a gentle kind of power. listening to it feels like a hug and the harmonies and high notes and the extent of their vocal ranges are just so, so amazing.

rainbow: for all the times i’ve cried to it, i still love it :,) those first lyrics from chenle make me want to bawl my eyes out simply because his tone there is so nostalgic and pretty and sad-sounding, and reading the lyrics makes me even more emotional (or maybe i’m just overly sensitive oops). the softer raps and angelic vocals and every little harmony and adlib are EVERYTHING, this is another song that just suits the unit so well. regardless of their positions this track proves that every single member is beyond capable of being a vocalist. i don’t know why it seems like such a sad and nostalgic song to me, but it’s also really hopeful at the same time. it’s like this dreamscape of emotions (no pun intended), and the video is so otherworldly and enchanted it seems almost magical. the colors and the playground set? their expressions and interactions with one another? i swear, their friendship and bond is unlike any i’ve ever seen. this track also makes me think of how proud i am of them, and i wanna give them all the biggest hug in the world🥺

if you decided to read this whole thing i would like to say i’m sorry for the ramble but also thank you for being interested in what i had to say :)

[kitty8roses]

This is what I sent to her lol (under a cut tho bc im not that mean)

DONT LOOK UNDER THIS CUT FOR GIVEN SPOILERS!!!!

Ritsuka quickly realizes that Mafuyu is an exceptionally talented singer, and invites him to join the band. Ritsuka learns that Mafuyu's guitar was previously owned by Yuuki, Mafuyu's childhood friend and boyfriend who died in an apparent suicide. The band begins composing music in advance of a live performance, but Mafuyu is unable to write lyrics for the song.

On the day of the performance, Mafuyu has a breakthrough and sings a powerful song about his feelings of loss over Yuuki. The song prompts Ritsuka to realize his romantic feelings for Mafuyu; he kisses him backstage, and they begin dating shortly thereafter.

The band names itself – "Given", in tribute to the guitar given to Mafuyu by Yuuki – and begin to develop a following after posting a video of their live performance online. Given qualifies for a major amateur music festival, and begin preparing new material. Their efforts are complicated when Akihiko, who Haruki secretly has romantic feelings for, becomes involved with his roommate and ex-boyfriend Ugetsu.

Ok so in the beginning of our show: our first protag mafuyu sato is seen walking to school In the rain (with an umbrella tho lol) he says, as narrator, “mafuyu is not lonely.” And also some other stuff that’s all vibe you know? So THIS is repeated through out the series with him saying that “mafuyu isn’t lonely” especially when something bad happens. The thing is he IS lonely. Why you may ask? Well, his ex boyfriend from middle school killed himself and he thinks it’s his fault and stuff. They had gotten into an argument and he drank himself to death. RIP yuki. The only time where I personally believe this statement of ‘not loneliness’ is true is after Uenoyama (other protagonist and love interest) kisses him. I think that’s very swagger. Right before sed kiss mafuyu sang a song that he wrote at a live performance with da band about his heartbreak with yuki’s death. The person he truly loved. It’s called fuyu no hashi and I recommend you give it a listen it’s really good. Uhm but uhhh he realizes after da kiss that he has a new love ❤️ Ue! Yay canon gay ship time let’s party owah owah

NOW I wanna talk abt the opening and op lyrics. They are SO GOOD. they explain Mafuyu’s situation so we’ll just *mwah*. I think it’s called kizuato. There’s this one part where the singer (which could be interpreted as mafuyu despite it not be8gn his voice) says “Rainy, sunny and cloudy

Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. 365 days. You remain in all of them.” When he says the last line “you remain in all of them” we see mafuyu holding his guitar when a pair of arms wraps around him from behind like a hug. He shifts and kind of like compresses himself? Like you know what would happen if you got a hug. These arms are kinda transparent and they disappear before the line and that clip is over. AT FIRST before I knew about yuki and all that I thoguht they were from his late dad but now I believe the arms belong to yuki. Mafuyu’s dad was abusive and hit him when he spoke and I thoguht that would be the part of his trauma the show focused on but it wasn’t, instead they focused on yuki and his death more. Anyways I thoguht that was cool and representative of what happened pretty well.

Part of it also makes me wanna cry tho. It says “Dig them out. Take away these memories. The invisible voices that wouldn't reach. That Make me suffer/ suffocate me. Search deeper and take a look at this pain inside of me.” Specifically the “take away these memories” part just,, damn. And the invisible voices thing is just too fucking relatable. I’m so sorry Mafuyu

Oh god now I’m getting emotional about fictional boys who play guitar in front of my friends. Sorry guys.

Anyways. Main statement of the song time. “Everything you left behind, became my everything.” D a m n. Not only could he be talking about the guitar the he owns that is from Yuki he could also just be talking about the memories. ‘All the memories you left me, became the only thing that brought me comfort’ and that’s just... so sad man. He LOVED this boy. So much :/ It’s equally as sad with the guitar too. Because of how desperately he wanted to learn to play. For yuki’s sake because YUKI loved music. ‘This guitar you (kinda your mom but wtv lol) gave me, became my life” because it DOES become his life. When he finally accepts new love is after singing fuyu no hanashi. He finally lets go of all the pent up grievance and emotions while singing that song.

Now that point flows perfectly into our next one. It’s a possibility This will be the last one so just bear with me, please! So, one of Mafuyu’s main things is that he never knows how to respond or react the “proper” way. First of all!!!! NEURODIVERGENT KING. Second of all!!!! He talks about how he just doesn’t feel emotions as strongly or just the right way as other people. And how he can’t bring himself to cry and can’t cry despite losing his true love. After the kiss, mafuyu cries. A started clapping for him like yay!!! An icon ❤️ not only did he find a new love and move through some trauma but he also experienced a lot of emotions that he struggles to experience! That’s so good for him 💕💕But yeah he’d been talking about in the show how he just couldn’t “cry or laugh as hard as the other people could” which I can understand very well. It can feel dehumanizing at times so I’m really happy for him. One of the main reasons I kin him!

This brings me into a sort of continuation point about how no thought brain empty emotionless kin time. Sorry o just had to write that out Bc my nose started bleeding and I had to go take care of that and also not forget my clause (again). Mafuyu talks to Uenoyama about how everyone thinks that he doesn’t have emotions or doesn’t have thoughts because of how quiet he is and how emotionless he seems. And how he’s come to kind of believe it himself (a sort of ‘am I really thinking ever’ type beat). Ue kinda-over-aggressively is liek “hell no!!!! No way brain not have thought >:(“ like a old you know? And yes KIN TIME. not to make it about me or anything but I’m also constantly told/it’s joked about how I don’t have emotions. I just kinda roll with it tho.

I wanna say one more thing to end off on a note that isn’t about me but I can’t think of one so let me think. So much for that other one being the last shsndujsjjsidj

:OOOOO ok so I’m rewatching given and I just noticed another thing

So in the beginning, the VERY FIRST thing mafuyu talks about is how he keep shaving the same dream over and over again (this is to himself when he’s walking to school). Then, we see a clip of this dream. He is standing in front of someone (but it’s kinda shadowed so I didn’t see the other person the first time) and his eyes go wide and he grips his guitar so hard one of the strings snap.

Not only do I realize that 1) that dream actually happened: hs8 is a scene from when he fo7nd yuki’s body hanging (mafuyu was the one who found him dead). You can tell from the bottles on the ground (yuki got super drunk and then hung himself). this is why mafuyu’s guitar string is broken for Uenoyama to later fix.

I also realize 2) that this dream actually happened. I realized this when watching the show the first time tho lol. Right before the big concert, mafuyu accidentally breaks his guitar string again. And then Ue has to go run to the music store and buy a new one. That’s why there’s a look of desperation on his face when it happens because, Uenoyama brought his hope back by fixing the string the first time but now he messed it up again. Thank the lord for Haruki and reminding them it can be fixed!

Last thing 3) I talked about the hug scene in the last rant right? Well, when mafuyu broke the strings the first time (upon discovering yuki’s body), he mirrored the motions that he made in the hug scene in the opening. I think I described it as him shifting his body and guitar and like compressing himself? Yeah.

I realized one last minuscule thing while writing this but I doubt you care.

[whereconfusionisarhyme]

First Reactions To Logan’s Playlist

K first song let’s do this

White and Nerdy-Weird Al Yankovic

Wtf this song was definitely Joan’s idea I mean who else would think of ‘White and Nerdy’ for Logan

Is this like canon he listens to this stuff or like songs about him???

Not Perfect-Tim Minchin

TIM MINCHIN

Bo Burnham better be on Logan's playlist

#deep

Is this about the mindpalace/inside of Thomas’ head??? Cause like???? Ouch???? I think????

Lol nvm it’s not sad lmao

I take back my take back it is sad

So this could be literally “in his mind” or it could be figurative and it’s really messing with my funky flow

Streaks-ANIMA!

Cool instrumental

Love the voice sounds a little like MARINA and Regina Spektor

Oh no I’m two lines in and I can tell it’s gonna be sad

OH NO CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST AHHHHH

Wow Logan is just out here being relatable isn’t he smh 😔👊

"Cause you're a smart kid, but you're still a kid" LOGAN REALLY BE OUT HERE BEING RELATABLE ON MAIN

The Elements-Tom Lehrer

Sounds like what piano class would sound like if I took piano class

Something you would listen to in science class

Bop

Medicine-STRFCKR

A Fever You Can't Sweat Out vibes

Lmao nvm

Gonna go look up the lyrics rn brb

A sad bop

Philosophy cool

Human-Tank And The Bangas

Logan playing this to comfort himself because this singer is the only person who has ever told him this

WHO HURT LOGAN WITH THEIR WORDS

LOGAN THE HEART SKIPPING COMMENT ARE YOU OKAY IM GIVING YOU A HUG

GUYS LOGAN IS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF THAT HE MATTERS IM NOT OKAY

Last???? Relationship???

Okay I'm not a shipper BUT my theorist analysis obsessed brain is just SCREAMING about Roman and Patton

Observation: Logan is probably atheistic and this song covers God a lot. I don't have a conclusion or anything just pointing that out

This woman do be calming tho like yes I'm beautiful yes I'm special thank you

Okay so I already knew Logan wasn't okay but he 100% isn't okay

Fittet Happier-Radiohead

K two words in and I can tell this is gonna be sad here we go

Employees? Or maybe…other sides?

Minor key ok

SELF HARM ISNT OKAY

"WILL NOT CRY IN PUBLIC" NONONONO

So I heard of a good therapist just downtown-

The Watchtower-The Dø

I paused it cause I need a second after the last one

Guys as someone who dissosiates a lot I think Logan might be dissosiating

Dissosiating to protect himself from his emotions

Y'all just trust me in this one

Coming for the TØP brand I see

K ready to start again here we go

Fire beat I'm vibing with it

Is he trying to distance himself from his emotions to try and perform his tasks better like watching from a Watchtower???

This is the first character I've seen that might dissosiate which only means one thing

I'm gonna be projecting an unholy amount in my fanfiction

"No one in particular" hon who hurt you

City Lights=Emotions (which he considers distractions)??? Maybe??

I'm a William Finn fan come on this isn't my first rodeo

Art Is Dead-Bo Burnham

BO BURNHAM I WAS RIGHT

We all love some good Imposter Syndrome (tm)! :D

This gives Learning New Things About Ourselves' a whole new meaning

Ngl this is the first time I heard the degrading of the piano at the end and I'm here for it

In My Mind-Amanda Palmer

Oop we LOVE setting up impossible expectations for yourself to the point you have a cripplingly horrid self esteem! :D

Logan I've done this before and trust me it isn't worth it the mental breakdowns are too taxing

I'll do it when I'm older=I'm never gonna get around to it

I don't wanna be the person I wanna be either

Why do I perfectly understand every lyric am I ok

Live!!! While you!!!! Can!!!!

At least there's a happy ending

Okay so I've decided that once I'm done I'm gonna make a list of songs I think would fit in the playlist

Algorythym-Childish Gambino

K its spelled incorrectly get ready for some metaphors my dudes

Intro is cool definitely very very Logan WOAH OKAY CHAIN SMOKER

Gonna go look up lyrics I don't understand shit

The chorus sounds like Thanksgiving at my Aunt's house where like 100+ African American relatives blast house music and dance until their feet falls off

Nvm no it doesn't

GO OFF

ELPHABA BETTER WATCH OUT CHILDISH GAMBINO IS COMING FOR YOUR BELT

Adlibs are everything

Letter C-Zach Sherwin

This gives off the same vibes as that one pickle video by Charlie Puth

Roman vs Logan rap battle but it's this

I don't really see why this is related but sure

Time Adventure-The Marcus Hedgehog

Nostalgiaaaaaa

Okay Logan has too many songs talking about one (1) person who is it

I have a gut feeling that it's about Thomas and how Logan used to be enough "back then" but now he thinks he's not cause like let's be honest when was the last time someone gave Logan a strong sincere thank you for all that he does????Excluding DWIT (which doesn't really count in my opinion cause they said he was cool, not like an integral and arguably the most important and powerful side) nobody really appreciates Logan???? Hugs???

Anyway plz ignore this is just how my brain works

K next song

The Breach-clipping.

OKAY SLOW DOWN IM GONNA LOOK UP LYRICS

Is this Daveed Diggs???? I haven't listened to Hamilton in like forever is this Daveed Diggs???

LITERALLY PERFECY PARRALLEL TO LOGAN AND THE SIDES

Sound effects

Really just gonna fry my eardrums like that huh

What I Do For U-Ra Ra Riot

Okay scrap anything and everything I said about it being the sides Logan is 100% talking about Character!Thomas

Erase Me-Ben Folds Five

Ooh this intro reminds me of this one particular musical songs but I don't remember which one

Wait have I listened to this before????

I've listened to this before!

Okay I need to stop being distracted

NOOOOOO don't Erase Yourself!!!!

Logan really just do be having no Self Esteem don't he

Okay so theory: Logan didn't pop up in person in the last video because his eyes were too red from crying

I have 0 evidence so it's not a very good theory but…

Just throwing it out there

One More Time with Feeling-Regina Spektor

Oh no it's Regina Spektor

Oh no I'm gonna cry

Okay so Logan doesnt wanna block of all emotion, only permit some to show???? But most of the time block everything????

Did I get that???

Nobody!!!! Thanks!!!! Logan!!!!

Awww he just wants love and recognition

Tbh this sounds a lot like Roman they have so much in common despite their constant arguing

Galaxy Song-Monty Python

Ooh Monty Python

I haven't listened to Monty Python so I sadly don't know the context

Really just dissing all of the other sides aren't we

Can't really blame him tho

Very scientific

"Yeau~"

Sweet with dark undertones. Love it.

Equation-Hans Zimmer

Later I'm gonna check the equations if they're correct XD

Sunrise-In The Heights

!!!!!!

WHO???!!!!!

K to this is one of my favorite love songs ever it's just so sweet and as someone who's bilingual the concept is just amazingly wonderful so yeah I may be freaking out

Also because WHO??!!

Okay I said I wasn't a shipper but let's be honest this is probably about Roman not romantically but like

OR MAYBE JANUS???

IM SO CONFUSED

But Logan is definitely Nina in this situation it just fits so well with her character for the same reasons I really wanna play her (but never will cause I'm exactly 0% Latin American smh) yeah the pressures to be the smartest and then it backfiring horribly and oh God what if Inùtil is also in the playlist ahhhh

Okay moving on

Lifeboat-Heathers

WHAT

NO

NO

CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST LOGAN STOP BEING RELATABLE AHHHH

IS THIS CAPTAIN THOMAS??? THE OTHER SIDES AS A WHOLE??? AN ABSTRACT CONCEPT???

IM NOT OKAY

Bohemian Groove-Will Connolly

Okay I'm still not recovered from the last song but I need to continue or else I'm never gonna finish this playlist

Eeecccchhhhhoooo

Your friends haven't surpassed you Logan you belong with them okay????

Emptiness despite success??? Millennial who???

Vibing with it but also are you okay

Nvm I know the answer already

Hug All Ur Friends-Cavetown

Okay so Logan is a Cavetown gay noted

Self validation??? Who's she???

Lies. You care so much about what other people *sides* think about you

Maybe Logan listens to this song to remind himself to not care too much

But it doesn't work and it's getting to him more and more

Oh

That took a turn

Breathin'-Thomas Sanders

Good move

Don't really have much to say on this

The Bidding

Spoopy

Alchoholic!Logan

New idea for us fan writers

The pronunciation of beurgoise

Okay I'm like pretty certain at this point that all of the songs that mention a someone else is about Character!Thomas

A Better Version

OHMYGOD I LOVE THIS MUSICAL ITS SO UNDERRATED I HAVE LISTENED TO THE SOUNDTRACK AND UNGODLY AMOUNT OF TIMES YESSSSS

But also since I know the song in terrified cause the feels are gonna come in I just know it

Wait so is Jayce supposed to be Thomas???

I am suddenly feeling much more uncertain about my certainty

Okay let me unpause and just listen to it (even though I already know all of the lyrics)

Okay so I'm a dumbass and apparently this song isn't even part of the playlist

Okay so I'm an idiot and the last few songs have all been "related to playlist" and not in the actual playlist I'm big dumb.

Anyway here's my list of songs I think would fit. (BTW, I only went off of lyrics for these ones. I realize that there’s a general sound and vibe for the playlist, but I decided not to follow it.)

Oh No! ~ MARINA

Hug All Ur Friends ~ Cavetown

Bohemian Groove ~ Will Connolly

Guiltless ~ Dodie Clark

Lifeboat ~ Laurens O’Keefe

The Bidding ~ *idk who*

I Am Not A Robot ~ MARINA

Inútil - Lin Manuel Miranda

Through The Eyes Of A Child ~ AURORA

Community Gardens ~ The Scary Jokes

Let me know if I should do this with the other playlists as well! :)

[inahazzze]

It’s None Of Your Business

You’re passionately singing along to Harry’s album in your car while stuck in dead-stop traffic on the way home from work. You don’t know, but Harry is watching from the car next to you (1.6k).

***A/N - This is my first time ever posting fic so please give me some feedback!!! I’m in the process of writing a longer fic but I wanted to bite the bullet and post something short. A big thanks to @yes-daddy-i-will for coming up with the perfect last line!!***

On most days, you’re really bothered by heavy traffic. On any day but today, you’d be muttering obscenities under your breath at every stop and start of the cars in front of you. You might even let out a bit of road rage that you sometimes let slip when particularly frustrated. But it’s been a great day, and you don’t even care that it might take you an extra half hour to get home. Today you were praised by your boss, received a bonus that will pay for your upcoming car insurance, and there’s now a long weekend to look forward to. It’ll be the first real break you’ve had in months since starting as a full timer at work, and you’re looking forward to properly resting and seeing a few neglected friends. A year ago you would have thought that four days off in a row is nothing, but now you’re jumping for joy at the mere thought of what you could do with the time. You usually spend your weekends catching up on sleep and relaxing just enough to not feel like a trainwreck by Monday, and now you have two whole extra days to do anything that you want.

You’ve only been driving for ten minutes when the cars in front and around you all come to a complete stop on the highway. You can’t see anything but you assume that there’s been an accident or something of the sort. You can hear some distant honking and yelling but you are determined not to let anything ruin your mood, so you turn up your music to drown out the commotion. You’re listening to your favourite artist, Harry Styles. It’s been quite a while since his album came out but you’re still obsessed and listen to it on repeat. A car somewhere to your left is honking relentlessly, so you switch the song to Kiwi and turn it up even more to drown out the noise. It’s blasting through your speakers and other drivers can probably hear it but you’re in too good of a mood to care.

She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes

Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect

And all the boys they were saying they were into it

Such a pretty face, on a pretty neck

She’s driving me crazy!

You’re so fully immersed in the song that it’s probably a good thing that the traffic isn’t letting you go anywhere. The lane to your right shifts forward slightly and a black Range Rover pulls up completely parallel to yours, windows aligned with your small vehicle. Its tinted windows don’t allow you to see into the car and you’re momentarily insecure about the fact that people can see you but you can’t see them. You glance at the cars to your left and the two in your line of sight are also expensive cars with tinted windows. This is what I get for working in a rich area of L.A., you think to yourself.

If it was any other day you’d probably be too embarrassed in stock-still traffic to sing your heart out. Usually you wait until you’re flying down the highway to roll your windows down and let your voice ring out in the rough breeze. Since you live in an apartment complex where there’s always someone around, singing in your car is your only chance to really let yourself go. It’s always been an outlet for you and you’re happiest when you’re singing to your favourite music. You don’t have to worry about anyone hearing, or complaining about the noise, or judging your voice. Singing in the car makes you feel free and happy, which is why you decide fuck it and sing as loud as you want while surrounded by other drivers who can clearly see and hear you.  

But I’m into it, but I’m into it

I’m kinda into it

It’s getting crazy

I think I’m losing it, I think I’m losing it

And are you losing it. The lyrics fly out of you as you sing along in a trance and bob your body to the beat as much as you can with the restrictive seatbelt.

I’m having your baby!

It’s none of your business!

You’re almost putting on a show of your own once the chorus hits, gesturing wildly in front of you and drumming on the steering wheel to the beat of the song. You glance into the rear view mirror and notice that you’re smiling widely, enjoying the moment. You’re doing all that you can do while stuck on the highway, and trying not to be annoyed by what is out of your control. If there was an accident, you just hope that everyone is okay. People in the cars around you are becoming more and more impatient, honking more frequently and leaning out their window to see what’s going on. There’s a man a few cars in front of you that has turned off his car and gotten out, walking forwards a bit and peering over cars to see the source of the hold up. There isn’t anything you can really do about the traffic, so you just try to drown it all out. You finish the chorus thrashing about in your seat and take a swig from your water bottle before the next verse.

It’s New York baby always jacked up,

Holland tunnel for a nose that’s always backed up

When she’s alone she goes home to a cactus

In a black dress, she’s such an actress

Driving me crazy!

It’s a little embarrassing that you have this part a little bit choreographed, because you’ve listened to the song so many times and it just sort of happened after a while. You’ve been told that you’re extremely dramatic, but right now you don’t have a care in the world about how ridiculous you probably look.

Before the second chorus, you’re thrown back into reality as the car in front of you moves forward a few yards, and you lift your foot off of the break for a moment before you come to another dead stop. The car to your right is still parallel to you, which is unexpected as there’s enough room for the car to move forward quite a bit more.

You’re at a standstill again, and fall straight back into the song. You’ve never been able to actually scream like Harry does in the song, so you just mouth along and punch the air to the beat of the drums.

She sits beside me like a silhouette

Hard candy drippin’ on me til my feet are wet

And now she’s all over me

It’s like I paid for it, it’s like I paid for it,

I’m gonna pay for this.

Your head is shaking back and forth by this point and your shoulders are bobbing one at a time. It’s an awkward and uncoordinated spontaneous dance that shows just how much fun you’re having letting it all go. You play around and improvise a harmony to sing along with Harry for the last chorus, even though it’s a bit of an odd song to create a harmony for. You’re having such a good time that you’re feeling a bit out of breath even though you’re sitting down.

As the song comes to a close, you notice some movement in your peripheral vision. The car to your right is rolling down the window closest to you, so that you can see into the interior for the first time. You barely even register that the passenger seat is empty, because you can’t see past the driver who is staring straight at you. It’s like your brain does a double take, even though you can’t move a muscle.

It’s the face you’ve only dreamed about seeing so close, and it’s weird seeing him anywhere other than on a screen. The first thing you notice is the hair clip sitting atop his head, holding his messy locks together haphazardly. It’s clear that he hasn’t shaved in a few days and he’s wearing a ratty t-shirt as if he’s just come from the gym. His eyes are covered by a pair of plain black sunglasses, but you don’t question for a moment that it’s Harry. If there was ever any doubt, it would have been immediately quelled when you glance down at his arm tattoos peeking out from under his t-shirt. Your eye is drawn to the rose on his elbow, which is resting against the window frame in a relaxed manner. Your whole body starts to feel like it’s on fire at the knowledge that it’s actually him. The boy you’ve been in love with for years from afar. The boy who wrote music that you cried to, sang to, and danced to. The boy who you assumed would never look you in the eyes like he’s doing now.

You don’t know how much time you’re staring at each other, whether it’s a few seconds or a few minutes, but eventually he begins to smirk. It’s such an intimate moment that you’re afraid to even blink. A voice in the back of your head tells you that Ever Since New York is now blaring through your speakers, but your focus on Harry has dulled everything else around you in a haze. You think he might say something so your hand reaches for the dial to turn down the music, seemingly of its own accord. You don’t break eye contact with him once.

“If you’re having my baby, love, don’t y’think it’s my business?”

[sandalaris]

Any song associations for Scott Fuller?

I read this ask as I went to bed yesterday and my brain went “ooo, meta on Scott?” Took a long ass time to convince myself that no, this is not asking for a detailed analysis of Scott throughout the seasons, but I only managed to wrangle this into more of a half-meta half-song association.

There is no one song that can encompass Scott Fuller over the entire series, because he arguably goes through the biggest character development on the show. And I don’t know if it makes the writers geniuses or lazy, because nearly all of his development happens off screen. Most of Scott’s focus on screen is about who he is to other characters, primarily Kate, and not who he is as his own person. If the whole of From Dusk till Dawn was told again only with Scott as the main focus, we’d get a whole new show, with just a few scenes that would be repeats of what has already been shown. The same cannot be said about any of the other main six (Freddie you almost could, but enough of his story overlaps with the main story being told that there’d be parts where people would go “we’ve heard this all already.”) And since Scott goes through such massive changes through out the show, I associate different songs to him at different times. 

At the beginning of season one Scott: I’m Just a Kid by Simple Plan. 

They’re such a quintessential 90′s band that there’s no way I actually feel he’d listen to them (wrong time period), and that’s assuming the Fullers even listen to secular music which I doubt given the bits of evidence on their music tastes we get. I don’t think Simple Plan necessarily encompass who Scott is at the time, but they are a band I feel like he would think represent him and that particular song reminds me strongly of him throughout most of season one... or rather it reminds me of how I think he views himself, which is not necessarily how I view him. 

By the end of season one: Same band, because it’s such an “I’m an angsty teenager, no one understands me” band and Scott is very much an “I’m an angsty teen, no one understands me” kind of teen in the first season, but more the song Perfect.

I think Scott would feel it represents him at the end of season one, when he’s been rejected by his sister and his dad tried to mercy kill him. Scott’s all emotions and impulses by that point, in no small part because he’s a fifteen year old kid who’s going through a massive life changing trauma on top of the culebra transformation, which has been shown to cause some mood swings/poor decision making, and there’s no small amount of hurt and resentment bubbling up inside him that I think he’d relate to the lyrics about a son calling out his father for rejecting him in a way he didn’t before. Scott desperately loves his dad, so much so that he tried to turn him against his will so that he wouldn’t lose him. And Jacob, for all his good intentions, saw Scott’s culebra-ness as “something evil and vicious” that needed to be eliminated. He may have changed his mind, but by then Scott had stormed off believing that his dad (and sister) saw him as a monster they wanted nothing to do with.

At the beginning of season two (because the Scott from the beginning of season two is very different from the Scott by the end of season one): Middle Finger by Bohnes.

I swear season two could be considered the Season of Anger Issues, and not just for Scott. There’s been a lot of anger built up during those three months between seasons, most of it justified and/or stemming from hurt and none of it even beginning to be worked through. Not only is Scott a literal slave to the people everyone else managed to escape from at the end of season one, but due to the rejection he felt from his family and being turned into a culebra, Malvado’s people are the only ones he feels will accept him. He feels he belongs with them, and that he has to prove himself worthy of not being mistreated by them. After three months of being chained like a dog at the feet of Narciso, he finally gets a little bit of not-as-bad treatment and some freedom from Carlos. He’s hurt and angry and doesn’t know where to direct the bulk of his rage and ends up turning towards revenge, and the song just fits his mind set so well. There’s a whole big ol’ mess of stuff to dive into about him and Kate, in no small part because Kate handled her reunion with Scott all wrong and Scott himself was in such a stubborn child-like mindset of wanting to reject the person who rejected him so they could feel the pain he was feeling... and this ask is about songs, so I’m going to leave that for a different time. 

But all the Kate&Scott stuff leads to the end of season two: O Valencia! by The Decemberists

Not the entire song, since it’s more about Romeo and Juliet-esque forbidden lovers than siblings, but the overall feel of it. Especially the chorus and the last half of the last verse and that change in the line to “you’re blood gettin’ cold on the ground” just feels to me like Scott in those last few episodes of season two. He comes to so much clarity after Kate dies, is forced to face just how much he was ignoring up to that point. He was trying for so long to punish her for rejecting him and to convince her to leave him (and no one can convince me that part of him trying to get to leave was because as mad at her as he was, he didn’t want her actually harmed) and then... just like that she’s gone, and all the possibilities were taken from him and suddenly his anger goes cold. It stops being this hot, burning thing in his chest that consumed everything, and becomes something sharp and hard and completely focused. Which is probably plays a part as to why this particular revenge song reminds me the most of Scott at the end of season two, because it’s not this screaming rage of a song, but rather its more akin to a love song. The promise of revenge not rooted in anger, even if there is anger there, but in the love and commitment to a person taken too soon. Scott’s not setting out to kill Carlos because he’s so angry he can’t see beyond it, but because he loved his sister and now this is what he has to do.

Season three Scott: Mostly I associate him at this point with Fanglorious. There’s not actually a song that reminds me purely of season three Scott, but for the purpose of this I’m going to say it’s a tie between Reckless Youth by Pillar and 100 Years by Five for Fighting.

Reckless Youth is more a song that reminds me of Scott making the conscious decision not to slip back into old habits/resentments. He’s not drowning in his pain anymore, not being poisoned by his anger, not even wallowing in his guilt over Kate (and the others that died because of him) which is still very much there but it isn’t controlling him. And he could so easily do just that, he’s lost everyone at this point, has so many reasons to let everything overwhelm him and yet... he doesn’t. He’s made something of his life, found his path and followed his passion and carved out a little place for him in the world. And Pillar is a Christian rock band, which is a bonus tie to Scott for me.

100 Years is kind of an ironic song to remind me of Scott. It’s literally about how fleeting life is and how little time we have on this earth, (with the actual repeated line of “I’m fifteen for a moment”) and Scott’s an immortal (who is stuck forever at fifteen.) But it’s also about how precious those moments are, about acknowledging regrets but not letting them define you, and its about looking back on your past and accepting what’s happened while still turning towards the future, and all of that reminds me of where Scott is in season three. The entire feel of the song is very S3!Scott.

Scott grew up so much by the time we see him again in season three. Which I have mixed feelings about. On the one hand, I love the adult he’s becoming, and I’m so happy he found a way to not let his issues control him. But on the other hand.. he’s fifteen! He should be allowed to make stupid decisions and let his emotions get the best of him and get angry and throw tantrums and just be an angsty teenager... but then on a third hand, he’s living in a world where doing that will literally get people killed. It already has, and I’m not just talking about Kate. He doesn’t get to be a kid and a culebra. He doesn’t get to be a typical teen when the events of his life has buried him neck deep in blood and death and throwing a fit will result in a higher body count. And it sucks and it’s not fair, but life threw Scott the short end of the stick and he managed to make the best of a truly shitty situation... once he got his head out of his ass that is.

Special shout out to Teenagers by My Chemical Romance, because I saw it in a crack video and now I can’t hear the song without thinking of Scott. The chorus also fit Scott circa season two while the verses remind me a bit of him in season one, but was put to clips of Scott killing baddies in the prison while Richie looks on in surprise. It’s probably the only song that I can associate to all three seasons of Scott, if for three different reasons.

[rhainontheshelves]

Remember

Member: Bang Chan {Stray Kids}

Genre: Fluff, semi-smut? Not full-blown but it’s still there, angst towards the end

A/N: I’ve had this in my WIPs for a while and really wanted to release something! If anyone is interested in a prequel or a sequel I can certainly do that. Happy reading! - Rhin

    “... How long are you going to stay on my lap?”

    “However long it takes to finish this melody. Deal with it.” I said, plunking out a string of notes on the keyboard. Figuring out a concrete sheet of music was difficult when all you had was some sound clips Chan had come up with years ago. But, nevertheless, I managed to connect them and came up with a pretty good composition. I saved the file with a little “Yay!” and leaned back.

    Chan groaned as my weight shifted further back on his legs. “Damn (Y/N), how many cheeseburgers did you eat today?”

    “Not as many as you. How many did you order, four?” I smirked.

    “It was only three, excuse me! And they were singles, you can’t blame me for cheating the system and getting three singles for less than a triple.”

    “Only because we’re broke and ordering off the dollar menu,” I said, twisting around to face him, “and two medium fries! Who are you, an unhealthy version of Gaston?”

    “Hey, don’t compare me to that jerk!” Chan tried hard to keep a straight offended face. “And I’m very healthy, thank you very much.”

    A couple moments of silence was enough to break my mask and burst out laughing. Chan’s face was too good not to. He chuckled along with me and stroked my hair as I leaned into his chest, trying to pull myself together.

    “Wow, I’m tired,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “What time is it?”

    Chan glanced over to the computer. “Midnight on the dot.”

    “We have officially spent five hours in this dumb room.” I got up and grabbed a Pepsi from the minifridge. “Want one?”

    All Chan had to do was hold a hand out for me to toss one to him. Together, we unscrewed the lids and took huge swigs. We were in for a long night, so we needed all the energy we could get.

    “Let’s take a break.” Chan said, rolling over to the couch and propping his feet up. “My brain is tired from trying to pull feelings and experiences from years ago up for lyrics.”

    I flopped on the couch, thinking of a way I could help out. To be honest, I hadn’t done anything of that nature since I graduated, and that was just about a year ago. The memory was pretty hazy (it was a black-out type of night), so that wouldn’t help out a lot.

    “(Y/N), do you trust me?” Chan asked out of the blue.

    “What is that supposed to mean?”

    “Well, if this song is truly about sex, wouldn’t we need some moans in the background or something? The good ol’ bed creaks are getting a bit overused in this industry.”

    It took me a minute to process what Chan meant. “Wait… you want me to-”

    “No! Not if you don’t want to,” Chan’s cheeks turned red, “we can always pull audio from porn or something!”

    I looked at my best friend, sighed, and shook my head. “You’re lucky we need to get this track done by tomorrow afternoon,” I got up, turned off the lights, and went into the booth.

    “Why did you-”

    “So I can still have some dignity by the end of the night,” I said into the microphone. “Can we just get a series and cut it into the song? It’s too tedious to do stuff at exact moments.”

    “That’s fine by me.” Chan affirmed. “Just say so when you’re done.”

    I awkwardly stood in the booth for a bit, trying to figure out the logistics of this. The microphone that was hooked up wasn’t omnidirectional, so getting into the right position for the audio to be captured was a big problem. Also the fact that Chan was here made me extremely nervous. I didn’t know why; we could usually talk for hours about this stuff. Maybe it was because it was for real instead of the usual imaginary scenarios.

    Pulling up the chair, I sat down in it and carefully reached out toward the mic stand. I found the knob that adjusted the height and brought it down to its lowest position. Then, making myself as comfortable as I could be, I unbuttoned my jeans and slid a hand down to my clit.

    “Anytime now, (Y/N).” Chan’s voice boomed. The sudden fracture in the silence scared me and made me lose my start.

    “Damn it Chan, I was just getting warmed up,” I muttered. “I was just starting to get focused.”

    “Oh, sorry.” His voice sounded tiny over the speaker system.

    “You’re good, just don’t do that again, okay?”

    “Got it.” With that, the static of an open line cut off, leaving me back at square one.

    I sat there for a bit, trying to bring up a picture in my head that I could jack off to. Nothing in particular was coming to mind, except feeling something hard as I sat on Chan’s lap just a couple minutes ago. I zoned in on that feeling, and started to find something I could associate it with… and then my brain betrayed me.

    “Hey Chan… do you remember that party we went to a couple years back? You needed to blow off some steam from being cooped up with the guys too long and I needed some relief from college?”

    Static started buzzing again. “Yeah, I remember that. It was a fun night.”

    “I don’t know any other way to say this, but… I can’t get this image of you out of my head… I think we did something that night.”

    “I wouldn’t be surprised if we did. We were pretty drunk.”

    “No, you don’t understand. All I can remember after the sixth shot of whiskey is undoing someone’s belt while they marked me up. Their shirt was red, like that one button-up one you have that I like so much.”

    “Oh… that… yeah, that was me.”

    “You remember?” Honestly, I was shocked. I was certain that Chan got even drunker than I did.

    “Yeah, every second. I wasn’t as drunk as you then.”

    “Well, tell me about it then, since I obviously don’t remember.”

    “Um, okay.” There was some hesitation there. I knew Chan well enough to know that this was important to him for some reason; he would have told me about it sooner if it wasn’t.

    “Hey, it’s okay Chan.” I soothed him. “It won’t mess up our friendship.”

    “Are you sure?” his voice was shaky.

    “I’m absolutely positive.”

    “Well, it started when you pulled me away from the dance floor. Apparently I was grinding on some girl you didn’t like. I could tell you were getting faded, so I didn’t take it too seriously. As you were ranting about it, you started to say peculiar things. Like, “you have no right to look that fine” and “if you had another button undone and your sleeves already rolled up when you picked me up we would have never left the house”, things like that. Obviously I had turned you on and drunk (Y/N) gets really bold and horny. I don’t really remember what you said next, but I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you.”

    I was starting to remember, and as I recalled the atmosphere and how Chan looked that night, I started to get wet. That was one of the top times where I just wanted to hop on his dick and ride the night away. I wasn’t proud of it, but it happened. My hand started rubbing circles around my clit.

    “You backed me up against a wall and started unbuttoning my shirt. I realized where we were going at that point and quickly picked you up and headed towards the nearest room so we could have some privacy. Luckily it was a bedroom and the door was able to be locked. You started working on my belt and I gave you two hickeys on your shoulder. Once that belt was gone, you started unzipping your dress and I lost it. Lust just burned through me and you seemed pleased that you brought it on.”

    Chan was slightly caught off guard as whimpers came through the other end of the mic. (Y/N) must be remembering and getting off on that. He couldn’t deny that his mind was roaming back to then as well.

    “Chan, don’t stop talking. I want to remember everything.” (Y/N) whined.

    Chan could feel the lust creeping up again. It made him cocky, it made him want to hear what (Y/N) had to offer. “Everything?”

    “Everything.”

    “When your dress hit the floor, I picked you up and threw you on the bed, trapping you under my body. You pulled me down for another kiss, but I was already there. As we made out, my hands traveled around, unlatching your bra and pulling your underwear down. We pulled apart for air and I swear you looked like an angel, all out on display for me. You begged for me to do something, anything… so I got on my knees and pulled you forward until I could eat you out properly.”

    Chan described the rest of the encounter in graphic detail, and that was more than enough to help me out. By the end of it, I had cummed twice and moaned up a storm. I was confident that I had recorded good material.

    “Alright, that’s a wrap.” I stated as I buttoned up my jeans.

    Chan didn’t answer.

    “Chan?” I called as I exited the room.

    He wasn’t at the soundboard. The door was wide open though.

    “Chris?” I called again, sticking my head out of the door.

    No one was there to hear me.

    Concerned, I picked my phone off of the coffee table and there was a notification for a text - from Chan.

    Went out to grab some food. I’ll be back soon

[blackevermore]

Twinkle Twinkle

[ Taz x Mikey ]

Summary: Taz came to NY for the holidays and brought lights

Genre: Wholesome 

Warning(s): None

Word count: 2,200

A/N: I was putting lights up for my grandmother and I could only imagine Me and Mikey having fun together. That’s where this short story comes from. I even threw in future comic plot twist (shhhh)

x Taz loved twinkling lights and mood lights. Not street lights that needed to be fix or neon signs that have been abused over the years, but little room and window lights she could hang. Back home, she made it a mission to decorate every window in her apartment with twinkling lights. Her bedroom was a beacon of mood lights that sat behind her headboard, dresser, and vanity for her changing light pleasures when she turned them on. She couldn't explain the way the lights made her feel without repeating the same string of words. The way the lite up the room and reflected off people's skin just felt good to see. It made her feel mellow and relaxed. But only in a private setting, not large city scenes or clubs. Those just made her uncomfortable and wanting to hurry home and hide under her blanket. 

x Christmas was a scapegoat for Taz to buy a shit ton of lights and abuse her rights to decorate. As soon as November 24th rolled past, she was running towards her favourite stores to snag every type of lights. When she told April, she was flying up to New York for the rest of December the poor girl didn't realize her cousin would bring a suitcase of lights with her. April refused to put up an argument when Taz went to work lining the windows. It was a beautiful sight, especially when Taz put in the work to spell out April's name across the pannels.

"What are you doing?" April poured herself another cup of hot chocolate and drowned marshmallows.

"I'm going to decorate the fire escape," Taz answered, slipping on her boots and coat quickly. She had a large bag strapped around her shoulder with more lights and rolls of tape.

"Where are you really going?" April rolled her eyes and placed a hand on her hip as she walked closer to her younger cousin. Taz gave a weak smile and shook her head, no use in lying to a news reporter and very nosy journalist. When Taz went to answer her April put up a hand to silence her, took a swig from her mug, then lowered it with an all-knowing look in her eyes. "Tell the guys I said 'hi' and that I'm sorry I haven't visited. Hothead boss has been down my back."

"Will do! Keep the window unlocked this time!" Taz slid the window frame up and climbed out. 

x In mere minutes Taz was humming down a familiar dark street and flipping through her social media. Laughing at comments left on her tiktoks and even replying to some. She heard the click of her heel boots over the abnormally large manhole she realize she had arrived. Getting to the lair was second-hand nature for her at this point. How in the world no one realized that the size of this manhole cover was bigger, then the rest was beyond her. That was the magic of New York, no one cared to give a damn if something was out of the norm unless it affects them directly.  In other words, mind your damn business, Karen. She placed the bag down beside her as she bent down to put in the code Donnie gave her. When the green dot lit up, she quickly shot to her feet and stood above the metal ring so it could lower her down. 

x "Guys!" Taz called out but was met with silence. It was rather dark, which meant that everyone was either really busy doing whatever or they were gone. "Yo Guys!" Taz called out again to make sure if they didn't hear her the first time they caught it the second. When she still didn't get an answer she shrugged and went over to the couch to place her bag down. They must have already been out on daily night patrol. She looked around the lair with warm eyes, it had been two and a half months since she's been here. It kinda sucked that no one was home, but that also meant she could decorate without protest from with Raph or Leo.

x Last year she asked to put up lights, and Raph was against it after Mikey made the 'okay' symbol hand sign right on the ceiling. Of course, everyone else thought it was funny, but Raph really wanted to bop Mikey on the head. Leo didn't necessarily care about the lights since they did look nice when he meditated. But he did care for Raph to not throw a fit. This year, however, Taz was going to hang designs above every brother's bed. She bought respectable colour lights for every turtle and even their dad.

x She pulled out her phone to check the time, it was 8:30pm, which meant she had about another two hours before the team would be back. She pulled off her coat and kicked off her shoes behind the couch. She had to get comfortable if she was going to be climbing on furniture, balancing lights, and taping them. She pulled out her phone and headphones and quickly plugged in to give her something to work to.

x She started in Leo and Raph's room and started with the red man himself. She pulled out the standard round cone red shell lights and started taping and dangling them around the makeshift headboard. She went ahead and wrapped some lights around the legs of the bed and under it so the floor would glow. She had also bought funny clip ons that said 'Red Hot' and attached them between a few lights. She moved on to Leo's bed and pulled out lilly-shaped blue lights. 

x She knew he was big about tranquillity, so flowers were a perfect match. She had to figure out how to make the flowers stick up instead of just slapping them on willy nilly. The slow song that was playing had just ended, and a faster beat kicked up, and her brain started turning. She started singing out loud as she figured out how to position the lillies around the bed. She settled on the idea of them hanging around the frame like a flower boat. She placed a flew lilly lights on the headboard, but most of them were around the bottom. When she was happy with her work, she picked up her bag and headed to the next room. Kpop started up and even without knowing the words she sang along.

x Donnie lights were more so a gag gift she spotted in the kid's aisle that she knew would make the others laugh. Star Wars theme lights with the Millennium Falcon and Tie ship lined against the wiring. Of course, these lights couldn't simply drape over his headboard. That was too easy for him to take down and throw away. She had to hand them above his head, with the ceiling being in a reasonable latter reach Taz went to work causing trouble. She finished the Star War lights then turned back to her bag to pull out more lights, they were all blue this time. Donnie was her favourite to poke fun at, but that didn't mean she didn't respect him. 

"OH AH AH AH AH!" Taz yelled at the top of her lungs as Down With The Sickness came on just as she tapped the last string of blue lights across Donnie's headboard. What Taz hadn't realized was that she was being watched by a very worried yet chucking rat dad who had been home the whole time. He was enjoying the pure joy the young girl was having as she set up lights in his son's room. Splinter was sure they would get a kick out of them as well. He wasn't going to interrupt Taz and went back to his room. This time with his own pair of headphones to block out her screaming-I mean singing. 

With Mikey's bed, Taz had picked out two sets of lights, orange hearts and pizza slices she somehow found at a thrift shop. Of course, she was going to go all out with how she set up Mikey's bed. This was her baby, her boo, her man, her silly bean sweetheart! She was going to make a princess canopy with the pizza lights (thank god she bought every set of them) and dangle the orange lights between the rows. First, she needed a ladder because standing on Mickey's bed was not going to help her. She went out to the living room and to a random closet she was sure the ladder would be in. Thank god it was or she would have spent the next hour trying to find it. She hauled the ladder back to the room and set in place. 

"Oye cariño, sólo pienso en ti / When I wake up in the morning until I go back to sleep." Taz was more proud of herself by saying the Spanish lyrics than her hanging skills. Mikey had been helping her learn Spanish for the past three months, and it was finally paying off. She thought it was weird how each other could speak a second language so fluently but couldn't speak the same language as the other. It did leave it up to the imagination when fights broke out. With the last set of lights tapped, Taz looked between the two beds and smiled in success. She took a step down the ladder, but her foot messed the bar, and she felt herself falling. She tried to grab onto the ladder, but a pair of hands grabbed her waist and pulled her down. Taz panicked for a moment then calmed down when she heard soft chuckles through her music. 

x She pulled a headphone out from her ear and hit Mikey on her shoulder.

"Why do I get attacked?! I saved you!" Mikey laughed and pulled her closer.

"Saved? You scared the hell out of my Angel. When did you get back? Wait! Raph and Leo haven't seen their room yet have they?!" Taz started on a long ramble of worry as the orange turtle sat there with wide eyes. Finally, he placed a finger over her lips to shush her, Taz narrowed her eyes then licked him to get it off.

"You know that doesn't work on me, and no they haven't, though I don't think you want Don to see his." Mikey giggled and point to the lights.

"Oh no, I do want him to see it, but it was meant to be a surprise." Taz sighed with slumped shoulders and threw the tape on Mikey's bed. "Well surprise." Taz pressed the light button on both power boxes for Mikey's bed to come alive and twinkle in patterns. 

"Oh wow babycakes this is stunning." Mikey had noticed the lights when he snuck in, but now that they were on, they looked terrific. As he watched the lights, Taz watched his face, the same face she made when she looked at lights. That lost but safe feeling that only the lights could give her when she was lost in thought. Mikey was like her in more ways than one and that made her heart beat faster. She tried to calm the flutters in her heart before he notices. She looked down to her hands to twiddle her fingers, but when she saw the tips of her fingers starting to glow, she threw them behind her back. 

x Not this. Not right now.

x "Oh, baby thank you!" Mikey snapped her out of her thoughts when he pulled her into a hug and kissed all over her face. Taz shook her head and pushed him away for a moment then pulled him into a proper kiss. Mikey wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up to spin in circles. When he finally let her down that's when they broke away for air. The couple was a giggling mess until someone at the door cleared their throat. 

x Donnie stood in the door unimpressed as he eyed his bed up and down. Taz held up a finger telling him to wait, there was more, she skipped over and pressed the power box, and the light came on. Donnie facepalmed.

"Star Wars, really? You could have gotten me anything else." Don groaned half-heartedly, not truly disappointment in Taz's shenanigans.

"Yeah but you're a nerd and nerds love Star Wars. Next time I'll get Star Terk or DnD just to make you happy."

"Ster Terk is a very respectable pop culture classic that could stand the test of time and still come out more successful with a new movie or reboot. Don't disrespect the classics." Donnie shot her a look and Taz rolled her eyes. 

"Mikey I'm going to go turn on the other's lights before they notice them. When I'm done help me decorate the rest of the lair before Raph tells me no?"

"Hell yeah!" Mikey replied as his baby girl ran across the living room to the other rooms. Leo and Raph gave her strange looks then turned to the youngest two to explain. Donnie threw up his hands and walked over to his lab and out of sight, and Mikey only shrugged.