#something about it pokes my brain in an uncomfy way.

[rapono-writes-stuff]

Almost had a mental breakdown because my Microsoft word app logged me out and then proceeded to crash anytime I tried to edit or make a new document.

[munch-mumbles]

had to donate blood earlier today because my blood cell count was too high at my last pp appt to get my t renewed and god. why didnt anyone warn me about your arm going all hot but also cold and not hurting but definitely feeling insanely weird and uncomfortable and Bad. LITERALLY NO ONE TOLD ME SO I WASNT READY AT ALL AND I STARTED MONKEY BRAIN FREAKING OUT

[guiltygrimm]

RZ Michael Myers Cuddles Scenario!

Warnings: Tons of Fluff 💕

A yawn escaped your jaws as you slipped on a pair of silk pajama shorts with a white tank top as they hug your gorgeous frame. Tiny foot steps echoed through the hallway finding your way to the living room to watch a scary movie. Maybe even see what’s broadcasting tonight.

Plopping onto the couch, your fingers gripped the black remote as you directly pointed it at the television turning it on with a click of a button. Michael isn’t present at the moment so maybe watching some TV will pass the time. It gets a little lonely when he’s gone but you know he’s gonna come back. He always does.

You flipped through the channels, but couldn’t discover anything interesting.

“One channel after another... Boring.” You changed it to a different channel. “Not my style. What the heck?They ACTUALLY made a show about this?” Raising your brow, you quickly turned the TV to another station.

It eventually got to a point where your brain was telling you to just put on a movie since nothing good is playing. You arose from the pleasant cushion and started poking your nose into the DVD cabinet below the Television. You read them off moving your finger along the rows of movies until one makes you stop.

It’s called (Favorite movie) which was something you remembered watching growing up. There was not anything else to put on so (F/M) it is. You shut the DVD case while pressing your finger on the eject button, the DVD tray slowly peeked out of the machine. You lightly laid the disk down as the tray slowly hid back away. Now you can finally relax.

The movie loaded and started playing from the beginning. Turning the lamp off, you sat back down as the room dimmed, wrapping yourself into a soft grey blanket burrito, your attention turning to the TV. You laid on your back, snuggling deeper into the blanket wishing Michael was here to join since snuggling him in the blankey was absolutely one of your favorite things to do. You were so comfortable with your body slowly sinking into the cushion. Half lidded eyes started to shut half way into the movie. You could feel yourself drifting into slumber. You’d be lying if you said you tried to stay awake. Guess today’s busy schedule must’ve knocked you out.

What felt like minutes passed to hours, your peaceful state quietly sleeping. A pair of blue eyes peered into the living room to see the sight of you peacefully sleeping(even if your body was in an awkward and uncomfy looking position) Your favorite long haired, silent lover made his way next to you, carefully scooping your graceful body into his large muscular arms. Michael carried your now half asleep self into your bedroom, as he slowly and gently laid you down onto the pillowy mattress. You flutter your eyes open to look up at him.

“Hello, love.” You coo to him. “I missed you.”

You sat up affectionately resting your head onto his stomach before gazing back into his eyes behind that mask of his. “Do you want to lay down too?”

You lightly put his hand in your small one and guide him next to you. his much bigger body made you lightly bounce as he plopped down on the mattress. If anything he may seem like a scary and serious dude, but he enjoys embracing your small body against his much larger figure. You almost feel like a stuffed animal in his arms. You are his obsession after all. Your kindness, affection, honesty, loyalty... something people have never shown him. Michael of course wasn’t very fond of you in the beginning, but after everything you done for him changed his mind about you completely. And instead of ignoring you like he used to, he absolutely can’t get enough of you.

Michael laid down as you cutely snuggle into his arms and resting your head on his chest. The Rhythm of his heartbeat was almost soothing enough to ease you back to sleep. You slid your hand up his torso to his super long hair, gently brushing your fingers through his dirty blonde locks while quietly talking to him about how busy your day was and how delighted you are to have him next to you.

“Your comfier than these pillows.” You let out a slight giggle, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. The feeling of Mikey’s arms tighten around you almost made you squeal with joy since he usually doesn’t give tight hugs. It’s very rare for him to even hug back but he doesn’t mind whenever you’d wrap his arms around him whenever you’d want.

Those Icy blue eyes behind his orange jack o lantern mask were glued to the opposite side of the room, immediately alarming you that something was bouncing around in his mind.

You soften your gaze before you could squeak out “Are you alright, Mikey?”

His predatory gaze fell back on you not saying a word. Michael not talking wasnt nothing new, but the issue dawned upon you as Michael has had this feeling many times before and has made it obvious the past few nights.

Your a sweet girl while he is a giant murderer. He can never get why your so devoted to him when no one else was. You think he feels that one day you would realize that and never want to be near him ever again. This was definitely NEVER going to happen. That soft voice of yours will always let him know you trust, love, care, and understand him with your whole entire being.

A large grin appeared on your features showing your cute little fangs. “You don’t have to worry about that, Mikey. I’m always here for you no matter what life brings. I don’t think I can ever imagine you out of my life. I’m never lonely anymore since your here.”

You gave him a quick peck on his mask whispering in his ear that you promise nothing will ever change the way you look at him. You don’t care how many times you have to tell him, you always want him to know that you adore him as much as he secretly adores you!

Your tiny elegant body laid down on his chest again as you peek up at him with awe. “Do you wanna know what I love best about you?”

Mikey tilted his head a centimeter making your smile grow much bigger. “Everything hehehe. You make me the happiest girl on this planet. Your presence just lights up the room... You deserve to be happy, Michael. You deserve the world and I really mean that.”

Your arms slip around his neck, your eyes twinkling like the midnight starry sky. “ I want to be that person to give you the world...”

Michael turned over slipping you off his chest to face you. Both your arms wrapping around one another with a special embrace. In Michael’s own silent words, you already gave him the universe.

——————————————————————————

* enough to make a grown woman cry 😭💕 *

Reposts and likes are appreciated:)

[transguyedgeworth]

this is the headcanon anon!! u asked for more so i will provide!!! i have so many and they are just. stuck in my head all the time i LOVE talking abt them also i am procrastinating going to bed LMAO

-maya and phoenix have matching friendship bracelets that pearls made

-before moving to a new appt miles always makes sure to check if the buildings are built with earthquakes in mind

- edgeworth sometimes sees mvk in franziska. he hates it so much but he also sometimes sees it in himself. miles go to therapy challenge but he works so hard on forgiving himself and fran

- phoenix was the one who found miles' letter; it was on his desk. phoenix still has it, crumpled in the pocket of some old pants he never wears anymore. he cant find it but when he does he will burn it

- iris and phoenix are on good terms!!! i Do not like feenris because it doesnt really make sense to me but i like to think that phoenix tried to help iris when he could

- maya and pearl make yearly trips to the temple where bridge to the turnabout was to speak to misty

- edgeworth used to be reminded of dl6 whenever he saw maya or pearl but he now realizes that its not their fault. heck it wasnt even mistys fault. some bad things happened, and he knows better than anyone that you cant blame someone because of who their family is

-OK less sad but edgeworth is the little spoon

-he loves affection even when he doesnt show it in his pompous little bastard way

-maya hasnt channeled mia since bridge to the turnabout and shes ok with that. she misses her but she also knows mia would want them to move on

-GAME NIGHT WITH THE WRIGHTS maya is SO competitive and phoenix constantly has to ask miles to get him out of sticky situations

-edgeworth has the biggest sweet tooth rivaled only by maya

- he will occasionally carry a little candy tin in his pocket

-fran and maya have date nights where they each choose a place to eat and fran always chooses super fancy places and maya chooses little hole in the wall places and at first they were both uncomfy with each other's choices but now maya loves getting all dressed up and eating fancy stuff and fran doesnt mind getting some good homecooked meals

- also both the von karma siblings are bad at cooking because they were never really taught, mvk had cooks and stuff to make food for them so fran gets private lessons with maya and phoenix teaches miles how to cook the best he can lmao

-edgeworth is always very cold and phoenix is like a goddamn heater so they always are at equilibrium when they are close together

- also occasionally edgeworth will poke phoenix with his cold ass feet when theyre sleeping and phoenix will shriek so loud they get noise complaints

-phoenix has a full laugh that brightens a room. he'll start laughing at anything and then suddenly itll be funny as hell. edgeworth usually starts with a little "hm" and then will laugh a little and then compose himself, but when things are really funny he'll laugh and then start wheezing and it makes phoenix laugh even harder

-maya will also start laughing at anything her laugh is bright and she laughs in little bits and pieces. a fran laugh is rare but she will often just let out a loud "HA" and startle everyone as she continues to laugh

- there wasnt much place or time to laugh in the von karma household so both fran and miles take a while to laugh, but theyre learning!

- the gang LOVES to celebrate bdays. ANYONES. gumshoes. mayas. penny from the turnabout samurai case. heck even mia and gregory!

okay actually these were more than the last one but!!! my god these are SM fun to come up with!!! i hope they bring u joy

SCREAMS THANK YOU HEADCANON ANON I AM THRIVING!!!! these are so good and they bring me so much joy hngh.... i want to hear like every single one of your thoughts because there has not been a single bad idea on this list so far... 

the friendship bracelets. please yes, absolutely precious. i ADORE the idea of found family game night. the chaos that would bring. i would Like to see it. in addition the birthday thing is adorable i can just imagine all the amazing parties and cake and maybe even party games?? bring maya’s competitive side back out!!!!

LITERALLY ALL OF YOUR EDGEWORTH THOUGHTS ARE SO PERFECT HOW ARE YOU INSIDE MY BRAIN??? literally edgeworth go to therapy challenge. i love all the stuff you mentioned he’s working on, like seeing mvk in himself and fran and moving on from dl-6 and learning how to laugh and cook and indulge in sweets and be open with affection... HNGNH. also the stuff about him being the little spoon in bed and him and phoenix being cold and hot respectively and him putting his cold feet on phoenix in bed. completely factual, that is canon, that is also something i do to my partner every time we share a bed. edgeworth kinnie moments i guess fhsjfndn

YOUR BTTT THOUGHTS TOO!!! all very good, i love the idea of them going to visit the temple and staying in contact with iris, i think that is so lovely and wonderful and the thing about maya not having channeled mia since then is so appropriate and in-character and fitting with the narrative truly capcom should hire you.

also also the franmaya stuff... so good. i love when women are in Lesbians with each other. and the descriptions of everyone’s laughs made me smile so much they were wonderful and so so accurate. thank you for the food.

listen i know i should go to bed. i know i should. i have to get up early to make sure i don’t sleep through the exterminator. but these are so fucking good i honestly just want to hear more of these headcanons for like the rest of time because they are so good. 

[mythichang]

➠ pairing . . . george weasley x reader

➠ genre . . . fluff!!! pining on both parts, pretty short but i think it was a lot of sweetness 😣😣 they ARE students!!! same grade and all that jazz

➠ warnings . . . nothing really!! although they doooo talk about butts but,,, you’ll seee,,,,,

➠ word count . . . 1.8k

➠ authors note . . . this is super duper late and was requested by anon so looooong ago!! i did fall out of the fandom for a bit because tiktok sort of made me realize that a lot of people were on the wrong side of my many situations, but hp will always be in my heart so here i am!!! i hope you all enjoy!!! talk to me about this imagine!! give me scenarios or ask this george and yn from this universe a question!!

➠ masterlist

george was being quite adorable on that particular monday afternoon

you had taken your usual seat, a two-seater splat in the middle of the class

you hadn’t even noticed that the red head fumbled into class, excited to sit besides you as you were too engrossed in your book

it was another thriller, one that made your skin crawl but in the most satisfying way

george got to his seat besides you, a smile on his face as he watched you bite on your lip the tiniest of bit in concentration

he plopped down beside you, head tilted to watch your concentrated face

although he wasn’t as confident as his twin brother, he always watched from afar, eyes full of puppy love

and by afar, he meant right beside you— because that’s where he always was— right beside you

befriending you hadn’t been the easiest of tasks, your quietness not being filling enough for any other person

but he admired the way you didn’t have to yell at the top of your lungs about your excitement

or the way you could sit with anyone in silence and make them feel more comfortable than words could ever manage

really, he was sprung on yOu and only YoU

it wasn’t a surprise to anyone really

not with those longing looks and the way the boy follows you around like a lost puppy

a lost cute puppy albeit

you didn’t mind either

he was an incredibly sweet boy and managed to help you out a lot in different instances

like the way he helps you find the right words to speak to someone whenever you’re stuck

or helping decipher exactly what others are feeling, since you had the smallest of trouble doing a mundane thing

he helps in all of the classes you two have together and is often found getting you to pull away from your little bubble

it’s a great bubble, you love the bubble, it’s always been YOUR bubble but you didn’t mind stepping out of it for the red head boy with the mischievous twin brother

“did you get a chance to study for OWLs?” the boy pulls you out of trance

you look up, a small smile blossoming upon your face at the sight of your favorite boys face

“i did, you?” you ask faintly, gently putting your book back into the small bag that helped you carry all of your books thought out the day

“not a chance.”

“im guessing you want my notes?” you turn in your seat, arm perched up on the desk as you leaned your head up on the palm of your hand

“hmm, i think i would greatly appreciate it.”

“oh, you think?” you laugh softly at his words, same bright smile on your face

you could feel your mood immediately spike as you spoke to him

he was so incredibly comforting and kind, something that you couldn’t find often at hogwarts with rivalries blooming left to right

“i'm not saying i would decline if you offered them up.”

“who’s offering them?” you feign a look of innocence as you exaggeratedly look around the classroom and back at him. “i don’t see anyone doing that.”

“it’s you. you’re offering them up.” he softly pokes the side of your stomach, making you squirm in your seat.

“ask nicely and i might consider handing them over.” you click your tongue and tap your wrist as if signaling that his time was almost up.

“y/n, may i kindly take a look at your notes so that i don’t totally bomb the OWLs?”

“i think i need a little more begging.”

“you suck”

—

it wasn’t as if you wanted to be staring at him

he was just there— standing there so gloriously beside his twin brother

it was no doubt that the weasley twins were popular around hogwarts

you weren't sure if it was their likability or the parties they seemed to make a thousand times more fun

whatever it was, they ravished in it, not that you cared either, even if it did get you into too many uncomfy situations

seeing george oh-so happy among the crowd of wizards was oh-so gratifying

he smiled so bright that his pearly whites shone throughout wherever he was

now was one of the moments, except you weren’t anywhere special— just another day of sitting across the room from one another in herbology

professor sprout had separated the two of you in hopes that you wouldn’t mess or speak to one another in class any longer

that didn’t work out great,,, clearly

because now you were dazed

dazed as you watch the boy laugh and work with his brother

you weren’t quite sure what was going on between them but you knew you looked like one of those ridiculous people in those ridiculous romantic movies

where the main character is staring at the boy they find so attractive— hearts floating around their head as they sigh out in happiness as if they were watching their entire world

ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous

but could you blame yourself? was it really your fault or was it george’s for being very cute? for having a laugh and smile that just manages to grasp your entire self?

it was george’s fault you like to think

“what are you doing?” the sudden voice makes you jump in your spot, utensils falling onto the floor with a loud clatter

you look down at the utensils out of embarrassment, not wanting to make any eye contact with anybody

“sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” angela bends down over with you, helping pick up your things

“it’s quite alright,” you mumble softly, not exactly knowing what so say

“i figure you’re into george.” the girl’s sudden words throw you off, your head snapping up to look at the beautiful girl

“w-what? where… um, where’d you get that? it’s nothing but… lies.” you sputter out as quickly as possible— and quite literally too loudly as many others glanced to you and the girl

you could feel your cheeks brighten up even more

a sense of deadly remorse wafts over your already flushed body as angelina gave you an unimpressed look

“alright, calm down, it was just a random conclusion i’ve came up with.”

“that’s a crazy hypothesis!” you continue to sputter out your words as if in disgust of her word

“it wouldn't be that crazy, now, would it?” she laughs gently as the two of you stood up, finally coming up from your crouch on the floor

“he’s just a friend”

“it’s no big deal, i’m definitely into fred. nothing to be ashamed of.”

“yeah, well everyone knows that.” you sigh, fixing up your utilities, angelina helping you with the task

“and no one knows about you and george? only so many can be as, and i mean this in the nicest way possible, oblivious as you two.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” eyebrows scrunched, you turn to her

were you supposed to be offended? you felt as if you should but you didn’t care enough about it any longer

“it means... make a move.” she shrugs from beside you. “i don’t think it’d ruin anything. if anyithing, you two could stop running circles around one another and finally make out.”

“you are a very crude person.”

“masking out is crude to you? bless your soul, no wonder you haven’t noticed him.”

and that was where the conversation stopped, only making your thoughts run 100 mph

what was she saying exactly? was george as into you as you are into him?

it made your brain feel mushy and it was a horrible feeling

one filled with anxiousness, trying to figure out exactly what being a teenager with feelings meant

but it pleasantly relaxed you to know that angelina was going through the same things as a teenager herself

having started hanging out with her and listening to her advice, you began to notice more things about george and the way he was around you

he was a lot more touchy than you ever remembered, and not in an uncomfortable wait either

but what seemed platonic and innocent to you suddenly sent an alarm through out you (again, not a bad one,,,, just a slightly nervous one)

what were you supposed to do???????

you were always told that you were HORRIBLE with emotions and confrontation

confront him about your feelings???? now how were you supposed to deal with both???

you were unnerved to no end and george was quick to catch in as well

“okay, what’s up your butt?” at hearing george’s voice, you jump up slightly

“there’s nothing up my butt.”

“yes there is. you have that look.”

“the ‘there’s-something-up-my-butt’ look?” you scoff lightly, hoping to rid of the conversation with a tiny bit of humor

“exaclty the look. tell me what’s wrong.”

“nothings wrong.” you shrug him off, turning back to your book, one of which you had to read the first sentence repeatedly

you couldn’t even sit beside him any longer without feeling as if you’re about to burst with terrifying feelings and hypothesis, courtesy of angelina

“is someone bullying you?”

“what?” you turn to him in disbelief. “who would bully me?”

“i don’t know,” he mumbles softly not liking the reaction he managed to grab from you. “just... you look... weird.”

“and here i thought this flimsy uniform looked great with my legs.”

“okay sassypants, i’ll let you be.”

you sigh softly at the sight of a defeated look on him

your mother always said, “if something is painful but can be rid of in an instant, rip it off like a bandaid.”

you always thought it was dumb, why would you rip off a bandaid? bandaids were there to make you feel better so it should be working on whatever it’s put on

ridiculous

you’re ridiculous

YOU ARE RIDICULOUS

you knew you needed to stop being such a wussy, it was a bad look on you

that much you could tell at george’s hesitant looks

screw it

“want to go on a date?” it was too late to stop the words from coming out.

george looks over at you, wide eyes

you felt as if time was suddenly going to slow as you awaited his answer

so far,,,? things didn’t look too great for you

but you weren’t going to strike-out immediately, maybe he was too shocked

“you want to go on a date? with me?”

“no, actually, im asking professor snape... yes with you.” your cheeks were flushed red as you refused to look the boy in the eye

“sassypants is coming out again.” the melodious tone of his laughter reaching your ears, making you feel at ease

“i’d love to go on a date with you.” you shut your eyes tight, hands covering your face

“goodness, i felt like i was suffocating.” you mumble, embarrassment continuously coursing through your body

“is that what was up your butt?”

“you really do have a way with words. yes, that’s what was up my butt.”

“hmm, i knew something was wrong. weirdo, you could have asked me so long ago!”

“you could’ve told me too!”

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Snuit

Sir Pentious/Telly (@usedhearts) has a fancy black-and-yellow suit.

Alastor wants a fancy black-and-yellow suit.

Alastor

How does one gracefully segue into a topic with one's partner? Alastor doesn't know how other people do it; but the way *he* does it is by hovering nearby until Telly appears to have reached a pause in his work, and then immediately draping himself across Telly's coils. "So I saw my alternate last weekend!" Super smooth.

Telly

He'd grown used to this sort of thing-- when Alastor wanted attention, he certainly got it. But Telly smiled all the while, setting aside the set of tweezers he'd been using for some delicate work on his latest project. He leaned down to give Alastor a kiss before speaking.

"Which one, love? You have quite a number."

Alastor

And the fact that he waited at all was how he showed his love.

Smooch! "The one who—well." A self-conscious *ahem.* "The one from the same universe as your alternate that you had that tiff with."

Telly

"Oh!" Telly's brain and face took a few moments to catch up with his ears. His face scrunched briefly, before he smoothed it with a sigh. "Oh, yes. Terrible bother, all that between us two, but I suppose I'm far more grating and less gracious than you are-- in general, that is. Not all Pentiouses are created equal."

He primped a bit, stroking his hood. "So, what's this about your alternate?"

Alastor

"Oh, don't be silly! I'm *incredibly* grating! I just save up all my charm for you." A wink.

He sat up and wrapped an arm around Telly's shoulders. "And wouldn't you know it, after your alternate gave you such a hard time about working with me, *he* went and hired *my* alternate to assist with his security! Can you believe that!" (It was, of course, a far more complicated issue than that—but it didn't hurt to simplify it in a way that gave Telly something to feel smug about as Alastor meandered toward his *real* topic.)

Telly

And feel smug he did! Telly immediately puffed up a big more, his hood flaring a bit in pleasure. "Oh did he now? Well, well, looks like the sock is on the other tail!"

He let out a hissing laugh.

Alastor

"It certainly *is*! Now, don't you go taunting your alternate about it, because he'll figure out how it got back to you and then *I'll* be the one he's sore at." A huff. "But yes! My other's on the staff now! And he's got a spiffy new matching uniform to go with it, complete with everything from top hat to cuff links!"

Telly

"Don't worry, darling, I have no intentions of speaking with Ruddy about anything unless he deigns to speak to me first. And perhaps not even then!" He chuckled, giving Alastor another kiss.

"But a suit! How nice? What's it made of, do you know?"

Alastor

"Heck if I know! My alternate spent more time talking about this little radio lapel pin he got with it—I don't know what he needs it for, *I* get radio in my head—but it's something quality, that's sure enough! This is no cheap polyester off-the-rack suit!"

And now, with the bait laid... "Telly—my darling, my beloved, light of my afterlife..." He lay his head on Telly's shoulder and blinked up at him with big, endearing, doe-like eyes. "When are *you* going to officially hire me and give me a matching uniform?" LOOK at that darling smile. He's *definitely not* trying not to laugh, can't you see how serious he is.

Telly

Telly blinked. And then a quizzical look came over his face as he tilted his head, thinking. And _then_ a sly smile appeared and his eyes narrowed a bit.

"So, does this mean you're done looking for better snake employment offers? I know you spoke in the past about taking a job with another me, but bringing back things to help me-- but since we're all up on our feet, and tails, over here now, well, I can't blame you for seeking gainful employ!"

His fingers stroked his chin. "Though, I'm certain you're already my number two-- there aren't many that I would specially design controls for the airship for, you know, my love."

Alastor

A surprised look. "Telly, I've never been *looking* for better employment offers. That's an emergency contingency plan at best, not a *goal.* What I want is to be with you."

Ah yes—he was getting good at piloting, if he did say so himself. It was fun. "Sure, we all know I'm your de facto number two; but there's a big gap between de facto and official! Here's the thing: with all the cooking and homemaking I've been doing around here lately, I'm starting to feel a little like a housewife. And you know the saying, *behind every great man there's a great woman*—but in every history book, whose name is listed next after the president's? The vice president, or the first lady?" He smiled wanly.

"Now, I may not have any high political ambitions myself—but I *do* want to get *credit* for what I do. And people look at your contributions differently depending on whether you're helping someone because you're part of his organization, or because you're part of his household. I intend to be part of the organization. *Officially.*"

Telly

Telly tilted his head, listening as Alastor spoke, a soft thrum in his chest. He nodded and stroked his chin again.

"I see you're point, darling. But you want, what? Just a suit like the Egg Bois have? Or were you thinking of something more special than that?" He hummed, squinting a bit.

"You do know you'd literally only be able to wear it around the airship, since the public at large doesn't know about us, yes? It would be hard for you to explain to anyone at your hotel about it."

Alastor

"I was thinking more like a suit like *you* have, plus pants—but sure, you could put it that way!"

He sighed melodramatically. "Oh, I know. And it just kills me!" And it was why, in his heart, he wasn't really expecting anything to come from this conversation but a bunch of moaning and sighing. Not for several years, at any rate. Decades, maybe. Potentially centuries. He gave Telly a morose look. "Well... it'll be nice when I *can*, won't it?"

Telly

"It would! It would indeed." He laughed, and kissed him. "Perhaps sometime in the future-- truth be told, I'd like it if only I got to see you in it. Would make it feel special." He winked.

Alastor

"Oh, *I* see. Getting to see the Radio Demon dressed up in your personal colors, as a private little show, only for you—something like that?" He winked back. "Well, I *do* like making you feel special."

Telly

Telly purred and leaned close to flick his tongue against Alastor's cheek. "Exactly. You being dressed up all for me....what a thing."

He chuckled. "Hmm, I've been meaning to find a new tailor anyway-- I think something could be whipped up."

Alastor

Alastor tilted his head into the flicking and slid his free arm around Telly's waist to rub his back. *His* special snake. All his.

"Really?" His eyes brightened. "*Could* you? I realize it's not really going to make a difference until we can go public, but..."

Telly

"Yes, I think so. I could just say I've got a special Egg Boi to give it to." He threw a smarmy smirk at Alastor.

"I'll have to double check your measurements, but other than that, well, shouldn't be too hard."

Alastor

"Pff! A remarkably tall and willowy egg!" He laughed. "Well—sure! Why not?!"

Telly

"It's not like they'd care to check!" Telly laughed, too. "Alright, do you have a measuring tape? I can get down the measurements and then I'll visit the tailor soon."

Alastor

"Sure! Right..." He rummaged around in his pockets. "Here!" He'd been using the thing religiously lately, taking down dozens of measurements in his den as he tried to get his new altar organized.

Telly

Telly took the tape and then scrounged around for a spare notebook that wasn't already filled with calculations and designs. He poked Alastor's back to make sure he was standing straight and began to take down his measurements.

"I think you'll look darling in black and yellow..."

Alastor

Up he goes straight and tall as possible—he's been measured before, he knows the drill. "I hope so! We're going to be in trouble if I look bad in it, aren't we?" He grinned crookedly, "But then I look pretty good next to *you,* don't I?"

Telly

Telly pecked Alastor's cheek as he rounded him, taking the length of his arm. "That you do. Very good, in fact."

He laughed softly. "I can't wait to see the faces of Vox and those other overlords when they see you on my arm in my colors."

Alastor

"Oh, won't that be the day! The horror in their eyes when they realize just how *dangerous* we are together!" Resisting the urge to make grand gestures long enough for Telly to measure his arm was harder than he'd expected. "And the fact that they all underestimate you right now, *oh,* that's just going to make it even *more* delicious when they register that *I'm* in *your* colors, not the other way around."

Telly

Telly measured his other arm and then from fingertip to fingertip, before going down for the legs.

"Mm, yes, it will be deliciously vile of us. I want to see Vox blue screen and cease to function." He hissed, laughing.

Alastor

"I'd be happy to see him cease to function in *any* context," Alastor said wistfully. "What do you think happens to his big tech monopoly when he goes down? Is it strong enough to keep trundling on without him or are the shareholders going to start dismembering it and cannibalizing their holdings?"

Telly

"I would guess the latter, honestly-- Vox is what's holding all of that together, certainly. Without him, it's bound to fall. I could see Valentino and Velvet descending into the chaos and picking up the most scraps but, well...."

He shrugged, taking the inseam. "Once Vox is gone, the debris will be easy enough to sweep away." Telly smirked.

Alastor

"Valentino, I could see—he's already got a multimedia empire, it can't be too hard for him to diversify. Velvet... I don't know. I always got the impression she's more of an entertainer than a manager, but I hardly know, really."

Ooh, uncomfy. He looked up while Telly took his inseam. "One hopes! Maybe they'll start putting something *interesting* on television again."

Telly

"Heh! Perhaps you could diversify-- get your own show! I could see you doing well as a late night talk show host." Telly scribbled down the last of the measurements and straightened up, kissing Alastor's cheek.

"All done!"

Alastor

"Ha! Do they do any talk shows with invisible hosts? Cameras and I don't get along." His smile wilted a bit. "... I guess that *would* be the easiest way to get on air over here, wouldn't it?"

He slid his arm back around Telly's waist. *His* snake again.

Telly

"You could be the first!" Telly wrapped his arm around Alastor's shoulders, smiling at him.

"It's just an idea-- who knows what will happen in the long run? Maybe you could help bring back radio instead. I know Leclerq's apprentice is doing some to help that along."

Alastor

He gave Telly a pointed look. "And you don't think Leclerq would have something to say about his own doppelgänger attempting to *directly* encroach on his domain? While working for one of his worst enemies, at that?"

Telly

"I don't know! I haven't seen or heard much from or about him in a good long while, and I prefer it that way." He sniffed haughtily. "When we take down Vox, the landscape of Hell will be much changed, so who's to say what will happen!"

Alastor

Alastor grimaced. Somehow, he doubted his alternate had stopped caring just because he was spending less time in Hell. "If it was *me*—if I discovered that one of my alternates was secretly in bed with, say, V#x, and he started trying to broadcast on *my* airwaves—I would shred him to ribbons and leave his entrails draped over the gates of Hell as a warning to other Radio Demons."

Telly

Telly frowned, and turned to face Alastor, cupping his cheek. "Well, then, you'll just not do that last bit then. We'll figure something out, it's all just hypotheticals."

Alastor

"Yes. Right." He sighed. "Of course." It weighed on him, though, every time he thought of it. But there was nothing to be done about it now. They'd figure something out.

He offered a thin smile. "Well. In the meantime, I get a suit, right?" He leaned forward to peck Telly's lips.

Telly

Telly smiled back, his thumb stroking Alastor's cheek. "Yes, you get a suit." He accepted the kiss and wrapped his tail around Alastor's legs.

"Now, was there anything else, or is it time for a snack? I'm feeling peckish."

Alastor

Alastor glanced down, brows raised. "I would *love* to go get a snack... but it seems I'm a little tied up."

Telly

Telly purred, giving Alastor's legs a squeeze before loosening his coils. "I sssupossse I can free you....jusssst thisss oncccce." He hissed, winking.

Alastor

"Ooh. Keep hissing at me like that and maybe I won't *want* you to free me." He stepped free of Telly's coils and took his hand. "I'll have to offer you only the *finest* of snacks in return for your mercy. Shall we?"

Telly

"Yesss, only the finessst." Telly grinned, raising Alastor's hand to kiss it before nodding. "Let'ss go, darling."

[previousloversandmuses]

The Intern - Part II

PART I 

ABOUT: Y/N, a young, intern who gets quite the opportunity.

WORDS: 1200

WARNINGS: Sexual tension, a gross old professor who makes the reader uncomfy!

A/N: I hope you guys like this new series! If you have any ideas for it, please, fill free to ask! Also, sorry for it being so short. Next part will be up tomorrow. Everyone is welcome and encouraged to leave me feedback and to ask questions. I want to hear your input. 

A few days had passed, and let me just say, I definitely got settled in. The boys had been hammering out songs left and right. Everyone seemed to be having ideas for everything, hell I even gave my input. The only person who couldn’t think of anything was Roger.

He would sit on the couch in the studio sulking or pouting like a little girl, snapping at people left and right. He laid down his drum tracks of course and the occasional harmony, but when it came to lyrics, he was at a complete loss.

“This is bollocks!” Roger screams, kicking the door on his way out of the studio.

“I’m sure you’ll be able to think of something,” I add.

He sighs and sinks down on the wall of the studio, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

“What if I don’t?” He asks, looking a little defeated.

I bit my tongue for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. Of course, he would, but he’s going through writer's block, I just don't want to worry him.

“But you will,” I state, sitting down next to him, pulling the cigarette from his lips and taking a drag. “There really is nothing to worry about Rog, you’ll get it! You just have to wait for the inspiration to come.”

He sighed again, pulling another cigarette from his pack.

“You can keep that one,” He added, winking.

I took a deep breath, thinking about the past week.

The Professor’s advances had grown tiring, and it had only been just a few days. He’d constantly touch me, whether it be placing his hands at my hips, or coming up behind me as I was bent over. My level of comfort was sliding downhill quick.

“Y/L/N,” You heard, “I need to borrow you for a moment.”

You didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was. So, sighing again, you dropped your cigarette to the ground and smashed it out with the heel of your boot.

“Coming,” You huffed, walking inside.

“What, no goodbye?” Roger teased, smiling up at you.

You stared back at him, a smile creeping onto your face as well.

“Y/L/N, I haven’t got all day!”

And with that you ran inside, leaving Roger alone with his cigarette.

You were conjuring up quite the sweat as you leaned against the record paneling, a cigarette hanging down between your fingers.

“How was that?” Brian questioned, standing behind the mic in the booth.

You looked up at Freddie, he has his fingers on his chin in thought.

“Well It’s your track darling, you tell me how it was.”

You smiled and leaned into the microphone to speak.

“You want me to play it back?” You asked.

Brian smiled and nodded his head, pulling a chair over for him to sit on.

And so you pressed play and then came Brain's vocals singing;

“In the year of '39 assembled here the volunteers

In the days when lands were few

Here the ship sailed out into the blue and sunny morn

The sweetest sight ever seen”

You cut it and looked over to him, he looked as if he was deep in thought as well.

“How was that?” You asked him, cocking up an eyebrow.

“Maybe I should stick to playing guitar?” He winked, pushing his chair away from him.

Brian began walking out of the studio.

“Don’t you want to hear the rest?” You pondered, watching him untangle himself from the numerous amounts of wires which were wrapped around him.

“Not really, if I’m being honest,” he laughed. “Where’s Roger?”

You turned around to look for him, only to see him slumped on the couch, sound asleep.

“Think he’s taking a beauty nap,” You answered. “Want me to wake him?”

“Please,” Brian replied, finally making his way out of the booth.

You looked over at Roger, he truly was taking a beauty nap. He looked so soft and so much less like Roger as he slept. He looked peaceful and unstressed. He also wasn’t talking which was a plus for you.

You were so distracted by him you almost missed Freddie dumping a glass of water on him.

“Fuck,” Roger spat, shooting up from the couch. “What the fuck, Fred?”

Everyone in the room burst into a cackling mess as we watched Roger stumble up and begin to shake out his hair like a wet dog.

“Well drama queen,” Brian giggled, “time to get this show on the road.”

���Is he singing now?” Freddie asked, throwing a towel at Roger.

“Seems he is,” Said Brian, flopping down to where Roger sat before.

Roger looked at Brian with furrowed brows, throwing his towel across the room.

“Since when?” Roger asked, leaning next to you on the paneling.

“Since now, don’t worry, I’ll guide you through it.”

Freddie laughed as Roger rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the panel and into the studio.

“It seems we're being blessed with Mr. Taylor’s angelic falsetto.” Freddie sings, winking at you.

“Angelic falsetto,” You quipped. “Since when?”

“Since forever.” Deaky finished, now taking a seat next to Brian.

And so you sat in awe watching Roger belt the most beautiful sounds you’ve ever heard come from a living creature. Your eyes seemed to paint his face, looking at every vein and every crinkle, admiring him from behind a sheet of glass. So, after what felt like hours, he finished ;).

He was covered in a sheen of sweat when he walked out of the booth, glistening like an angel dipped in honey, that now you realized, you really wanted to lick off. And at that moment, you thought about just how badly you wanted to make sweet, sweet love to this beautiful man.

Walking with the boys out of the studio, you had almost forgotten your Professor had left to run errands. It was nice without him there, no pressure, and no discomfort.

You looked out at the sky and started to stretch, you hadn’t stood up in a while and Lord knows, after what you just saw, stretching is something you desperately needed.

“So,” Roger started, “Who wants some food.”

“Me,” You almost yelled, startling the boys.

“Christ, someone’s hungry,” Deaky said, poking your stomach as he passed you and into the house.

The other boys followed suit, along with Roger who looked physically drained.

You turned the opposite way though, pulling your car keys from your pocket and walking towards your car.

“Oi,” Roger yelled from the door. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Out!” You replied.

“Out?” He asked. “Out where?”

“I drove past a pub on the way here and I’m just dying for some chips!” You scream back, turning the corner.

As you were opening the door to your car you heard footsteps pounding against the graveled drive. Turning around, the boys stood there catching their breath as they walked towards you.

“We're coming too,” Said Brian, hopping into the passenger's seat. “Nice car by the way.”

“Thanks,” You smiled, sliding into the driver's seat.

“Yeah,” Roger said, just above a whisper. “A really nice car.”

A/N: I hope you guys like this new series! If you have any ideas for it, please, fill free to ask! Also, sorry for it being so short. Next part will be up tomorrow. Everyone is welcome and encouraged to leave me feedback and to ask questions. I want to hear your input. 

Want to check out my other fics? Click here!

Taglist: @sabbrriiinnaa @2ptonpt @Isabella-bby @Rogertaylorsblondhair @cosmiclunas @It’s-nessi @missieluvsmurder @bookworm1613 @mrswinterhater @Ellestrationz @Enralian @frandalf

[danfanciesphil]

Give Me A Try (New Chapter)

Gay Instagram Model/Bartender Phan AU Part 4

(Part One)

(Part Two)

(Part Three)

(Read on Ao3)

At 10am on Wednesday morning, Dan wakes on AmazingPhil’s sofa. A whirring noise causes him to stir, dragging him out of an unconscious bliss of ignorance to his surroundings.  As he props himself up on his elbows, Dan looks around his immediate vicinity, confused. The rush of realisation is quick to strike him, and his arms jellify; he flops back down onto the cushions with a ‘thwump’.

Eyes wide, Dan pulls the colourful, zig-zag patterned blanket over his bare chest. Last night, removing his shirt had seemed logical. Now, he’s painfully aware of the exposed chest and abdomen on show. He’s seen plenty of photos of Phil topless. The comparison between their muscle definition is laughable.

Dan rolls onto his side, scanning the floor for his shirt. He spots it at once, and lunges, pulling it towards him. As soon as he brings it to his nose, the stench of beer, vodka and sweat overwhelms him. He frowns in revulsion, wondering what to do.

Is it worse to confront Phil fucking Lester first thing in the morning while shirtless, or stinking of a hell-shift? Before Dan can decide, Phil strolls into the room, holding two mugs in his hands.

Phil is also shirtless, Dan notes, to his dismay. At least he’s wearing tracksuit bottoms. 

“You’re awake!” Phil says, smiling at him. He walks over, placing one of the mugs down onto the coffee table. Dan stares at it; it’s Hello Kitty shaped. “Sorry if the coffee machine woke you up. I can’t function in the mornings without caffeine.”

“Oh, n-no, that’s…” Dan swallows, gazing up into Phil’s eyes. He’s wearing his glasses, and his hair is a bird’s nest. There are the faint etchings of paling pink cover creases across one of his cheeks. “Fine,” Dan breathes. 

“I made you a cup,” Phil points out, gesturing to the Hello Kitty mug. “I don’t know how you like it, so I just made it the same as mine, soy milk and two sugars. I hope that’s okay.”

Dan nods, and tries a smile. He doesn’t have sugar in his coffee normally, but he’s hardly going to complain. He should drink it, he thinks, it will probably clear the exhausted fog from his mind.

Phil has moved to sit in the armchair to the right of the sofa. He sips his coffee, legs spread wide as he slumps down into it. He’s gazing intently at his phone. Dan seizes the opportunity, lunging for the Hello Kitty mug while Phil isn’t looking, so that he won’t see the flash of exposed skin peeking out from beneath the quilt.

Dan swallows down a vaguely disgusting gulp. Then another.

“Um, thank you for letting me stay here,” Dan says once he’s sat up a little, the blanket pulled up beneath his armpits. “I must’ve been really tired.”

Phil puts his phone down, smiling over the rim of his cup. “Hey, it’s no problem at all. I just hope it wasn’t too uncomfy on the sofa.”

Dan wants to laugh at that. The sofa is an enormous, deep purple, corner-style affair, with seemingly hundreds of plump, unnecessary cushions, and quite possibly the softest springs Dan has ever encountered. It’s so big that Dan, at six foot, can stretch out fully with room to spare.

He directs his smirk into Hello Kitty’s hollow head. “Not at all,” he says politely.

“So, what can I get you?” Phil asks brightly, sitting up in his chair. “Breakfast? Clean clothes? A shower?”

Dan has to admit, the lure of being clean is tempting. Not to mention the chance to sneak a peek at more of Phil’s flat.

“A shower would be amazing,” Dan says, wincing a little; he hates feeling like a burden.

“They do call me AmazingPhil for a reason.”

Dan laughs. “I thought you nicknamed yourself that because you wanted to be first in the alphabet for everything.”

The comment slips out before Dan can think it through. It’s an instinctual reflex, to reel off his AmazingPhil knowledge to anyone that will listen to him ramble on about the guy. In hindsight, Phil himself is probably not the person to ramble to.

A silence hangs in the air for a minute, during which time Dan tries to persuade any entity listening to allow the enormous sofa to swallow him up whole. Then, Phil laughs, a little awkwardly.

“Yeah, but I’m still amazing,” he says, and Dan relaxes, a little. “The shower’s down the hall, I’ll show you.”

Phil drains his coffee and jumps to his feet. He looks at Dan expectantly, and Dan realises he’s going to have to emerge, shirtless, from beneath the blanket, in order to follow him. Cringing already, Dan opts for a slow reveal, looking steadfastly away from Phil, cheeks burning. He stands, arms crossed over his chest, and waits for Phil to lead the way.

As Dan follows him through the flat, Phil chatters about something Dan can barely listen to, insecurity overwhelming him completely. He stops outside a door and pushes it open, then turns to Dan.

“Just use anything in there,” Phil tells him. “Towels, shampoo, shower gel. Maybe not the toothbrush?” Phil laughs. “But then again I’ll probably never know if you did.”

He winks, sending Dan’s stomach crashing to the floor, and then leaves Dan to it. Unsurprisingly, Phil’s shower is one of those alien spacecraft types, with a touch screen panel to operate it, different pressure settings, and a built in radio. Dan accidentally turns the radio on as he’s attempting to figure it out, and Phil’s Spotify playlist ‘Shower Time’ comes on. The first song is ‘My Heart Will Go On’. Dan laughs at this, manages to switch it off, and eventually gets the shower to a relatively normal temperature.

Phil’s shampoo is melon flavoured, and his body wash is something called ‘s’mores ‘n’ mores’. Dan’s not used to smelling so sweet, but he appreciates the pleasant, syrupy aromas as he massages the various substances into his skin and hair. As he’s scrubbing himself, his mind wanders, and the thought drifts into his brain that he’s currently standing in the same spot Phil does every morning. Every day, Phil Lester steps into this very shower cubicle, naked as Dan stands now, and rubs the same gels across his body.

Dan quickly loses concentration, and slips, yelping as he struggles not to fall on his bare ass. He manages to stay upright by clinging onto the faucet. As he regains his balance, there’s a knock on the door.

“Uh, are you okay, Dan?”

Flushing, Dan pokes his head out of the cubicle. “Y-yeah, I’m fine! Sorry, I slipped.”

There’s an unmistakable chuckle. “Okay. I thought I’d throw your clothes in the wash if you want? You can borrow something of mine in the meantime.”

Dan chews his lip, deliberating. While he really doesn’t want to go through the whole debacle of borrowing more clothes from Phil, it’s a mildly horrifying thought to step out of the shower and pull on his smelly, damp work shirt.

He resolves that this will be the very last time. “That’d be great actually, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not,” Phil says cheerily, and then, somehow, the bathroom door is opening.

Dan squeaks, ducking back into the cubicle. The glass is opaque with steam, but Dan can’t help feeling ridiculously exposed nonetheless. He can hear Phil walking across the tiled bathroom floor, humming away as if it’s perfectly normal.

“I’ll just grab them,” Phil is saying. Dan just presses himself against the one wall that isn’t glass, watching Phil’s blurry outline move through the room towards the sink where Dan’s clothes are. “I’ve left you a t-shirt and some jogging bottoms on the side.”

“Thanks,” Dan says meekly, heart hammering.

Just before he leaves, Phil seems to pause. “It smells really good in here.”

“Yeah,” Dan says. The thunder of the shower against the floor is deafening. “You’ve got good taste in shampoo.”

There’s another pause, and then Phil is moving closer to the glass. Dan wants to hide, to curl up away from him; Phil almost definitely can’t see any defining features of Dan’s body, but still, it’s mortifying to think that Phil Lester, the literal model, might be able to see any of his unshapely, naked form. A hand, or what looks like a hand, reaches out towards the glass.

Rivulets of water trickling over his stricken face, Dan watches as Phil’s finger trails through the condensation, drawing a smiley face.

“There’s more coffee when you’re done,” Phil says softly, and then he’s gone, closing the door behind him.

*

Dressed in Phil’s clothes, sitting on Phil’s sofa, drinking Phil’s coffee. Perhaps he never woke up, Dan can’t help but think.

“...but that’s my mum for you, she’s obsessed with RuPaul’s Drag Race,” Phil finishes. Dan’s only half-listening, distracted as he is by the way the Sunnydale High t-shirt Phil gave him clings to his damp skin.

He’s seen Phil wearing this t-shirt in various photos in the past. It’s always looked slightly too small for him, the sleeves straining around his thick arm muscles, the hem riding just a smidge too high on his abdomen. It hangs loose over Dan’s concave stomach, and his poor excuse for a chest. His arms thread like noodles through the same sleeves.

“She really tried to get you to audition?”

Phil laughs, his signature tongue-poke laugh. “Yeah, I’m not sure she really gets the concept of the show… but she loves it anyway.”

“It’s cute that she’s supportive,” Dan says. Phil laughs, nodding.

“She means well.” Phil sighs, draining the last of his coffee. “Another cup?”

Dan nods, though he knows he should refuse. Phil stands from the sofa, and for some reason Dan stands too, following Phil towards the kitchen at one end of the spacious, open plan room.  As they walk, Dan takes the opportunity to peer around at his surroundings. Phil’s flat is gorgeous, with lots of wide spaces and natural light, though it’s sparsely decorated. There are still boxes of stuff laying around, as he has only been here for a couple of months. Inside them, Dan spots a variety of colourful decorations, some of which he recognises from Phil’s old place; he used to film Instagram stories in his last flat a lot, so Dan can easily pick out the Tetris lamp Phil used to have on his mantelpiece, and the framed Studio Ghibli posters he had mounted on his bedroom walls.

As Phil pours them more coffee, Dan leans against the breakfast bar, watching him. It’s only as Phil places a second mug before him that Dan remembers something.

He steps backwards before he can stop himself, cheeks flaming. At first, Phil seems surprised, but his expression quickly melts into a smirk. He leans casually against the breakfast bar, sipping coffee with an amused expression.

“Everything ok?”

Fighting the urge to splutter and embarrass himself further, Dan just shrugs his shoulders. “Thought I recognised this spot,” he mutters.

A couple of weeks ago, Phil had posted a particularly risqué photo. Dan remembers it well, for obvious reasons, as Phil had been completely naked. He’d covered the more intimate parts of his body with artfully arranged bed sheets, but it had been a memorable image nonetheless. In the photo, Phil had been sprawled out on a breakfast bar, his chest covered with berries and other fruits, as well as an array of croissants, cornflakes, and other breakfast foods. The caption, if Dan remembers correctly, had been: ‘I’ll even make you breakfast after…’.

In the hours after receiving that notification, Dan had found himself rather… occupied.

“I promise I’ve cleaned it since,” Phil says knowingly, a glimmer in his eye. 

Dan just avoids his gaze, cheeks burning. 

“Who took the photo?” Dan reaches for his coffee with shaky fingers, careful not to touch the surface of the marble top lest he combust on the spot.

Phil is quiet for a moment, taking another sip. “Charlie.”

Dan forces himself not to grimace at the news. “Oh.”

“We often take each other’s photos if we hang out,” Phil says, shrugging. “We have to post things about three times a day, more or less. So, we hang out, and snap each other doing some random stuff. It’s just easier to have someone else do it for you, especially if they know your angles.”

Dan nods, pretending to understand. In reality, he doesn’t quite see how having Charlie there to take photos as they ‘hang out’ equates to Phil posing stark naked on a countertop covered in delicious food. Maybe he’s missing something, but to him, that seems a little different to simply ‘hanging out’.

“Y’know, I should… probably get going soon,” Dan says, feeling very awkward all of a sudden.

The image of Phil, reclining on this very surface, has suddenly become tainted somehow. He kind of wishes he’d never asked who took the photo.

Bizarrely, Phil’s face drops into one of sincere disappointment at Dan’s news. “Really? But your clothes aren’t dry yet.”

“Right,” Dan says, fidgeting. “Um…”

He’s not sure what to do. He feels he’s overstayed his welcome already, but he doesn’t want to run off in Phil’s clothes again.

“Do you have work later?”

“No,” Dan admits. “It’s my day off, actually.”

“So stay!” Phil beams. “I mean… you don’t have to,” he laughs, seeming awkward. “I don’t want to keep you prisoner. But I have Mario Kart, and DVD’s,  and nothing to do all day… we can order pizza and hang out? At least until your clothes are ready.” Phil twirls the cup in his hands. “Y’know, if you want.”

There’s a tug in Dan’s chest, and he almost groans. Life is tempting him, cruelly. He looks around himself, trying to decide. The bare walls and unpacked items suddenly seem a little sad. He wonders if, since moving down to the coast from Manchester, Phil has had the chance to make any friends.

“Sure,” Dan blurts, his heart pushing the words from his mouth before his brain can regulate them. “But uh… I will wreck you at Mario Kart. Just a warning.”

“Oh, really?” Phil smirks, leaning towards Dan across the breakfast bar. His bicep muscles flex, subtly, throwing the image of him sprawled, naked and seductive, right here, back into Dan’s exhausted brain. “Well, I guess we’ll have to see about that.”

*

Dan ends up staying all day. He stresses that he doesn’t want to impose on Phil, but if anything Phil seems keen for Dan to remain right where he is, so he does. They order Dominos, they drink copious amounts of Ribena, and Dan, as promised, destroys Phil over and over again at Mario Kart.

At six in the evening, Phil finally admits defeat. “Okay, okay, I submit! I throw my flag down at your feet, Dan. You are the King of Mario Kart.”

“Damn straight.”

“I hope not.”

Dan looks at Phil, blushing faintly. “What?”

“Wouldn’t be great to work at a gay bar if you’re weren’t gay, I imagine,” Phil explains, winking. He stands from the pile of cushions they’d placed on the floor next to his sofa, gathering the pizza boxes.

“Oh.” Dan nods to himself. “Right, yeah, I guess that’d be pretty sucky.”

Phil shoots him a dazzling smile, then takes all the boxes to the kitchen. “So how’d you get so good at Mario Kart?”

Dan opens his mouth, about to explain that it’s simply a matter of holing oneself up in one’s room and playing the game for hours at a time, without breaks, until one’s eyes are bleeding, and one’s butt has lost all feeling.

Before he can get these words out however, the buzzer sounds. Phil’s face instantly drops, and he throws a vaguely worried frown towards it.

He looks over at Dan, apologetic. “Hang on.”

Dan just smiles, sipping Ribena. He watches Phil cross the room to the door, where the buzzer is.

“Hello?” Phil says into it.

“It’s me, let me up.”

The voice is indistinct, and Dan can’t quite hear properly. Phil, on the other hand, seems to recognise it at once. He sighs, turning to glance over his shoulder briefly, at Dan.

After a moment, he presses a button, albeit reluctantly. He turns back to Dan, grimacing. “It’s Charlie,” he says. “Sorry. He has a tendency to drop by unannounced.”

“Oh,” Dan says, his heart sinking. He glances down at himself, cheeks growing warm. “Should I… change?”

Phil’s brow creases. “Why would you need to-”

There’s a knock at the door, interrupting Phil’s sentence. Phil goes to open it, and Dan tries to brace himself for yet another awkward, probably unpleasant conversation with Charlie Hickory.

“Ugh, it’s fucking pouring out there,” are Charlie’s first words as he pushes past Phil into the flat. “Seventy euros this hair wax cost me in Milan, and it’s ruined by a splash of-”

He stops short, halfway through unwinding the scarf from around his neck. His eyes are fixed on Dan, who has remained, rigid and unmoving, on the floor beside Phil’s sofa, mug in hand.

“Hi,” Dan offers.

“The fuck is he doing here?” Charlie mutters, whipping off his scarf and throwing it onto the couch.

“Charlie, for God’s sake, could you at least pretend to be nice?” Phil asks in an unusually cross voice. 

Charlie rolls his eyes. He flops down onto the sofa, lengthways, and kicks off his shoes. They land beside Dan, nearly knocking into his shoulder. 

“Fine,” Charlie says. “Dan, is it? Hi. What are you doing in Phil’s flat?” Charlie’s eyes narrow, and he sits up, squinting at Dan. “And in his fucking clothes.”

Charlie’s head whips round to face Phil, who is stood, awkwardly, in the middle of the room.

“Did you fuck him?”

“Charlie, for Christ’s sake-”

“No,” Dan says, quickly. “No, he didn’t- we didn’t-” he pauses, trying to gather himself. “I just stayed here. On the sofa. And Phil washed my work clothes. So I’m borrowing his for a bit.”

Charlie settles back down into the sofa cushions. “Figures. Any excuse to whip his top off for a randomer.”

“I was just heading off, actually,” Dan says, deciding he’s had enough. 

“You don’t have to,” Phil pipes up, meekly, though from his awkward stance, it’s clear he thinks it’s probably for the best as well. 

“No, really,” Dan insists. “I need to go home at some point, luxurious as this little one night holiday from reality has been.” 

Phil nods sadly, sending Dan a small smile. Dan stands, wobbling slightly; it’s been a while since he moved from this spot. He makes his way over to Phil, very aware that he’s being watched closely. He hands his half-empty mug back to Phil, returning the smile. 

“Thanks for all the coffee and pizza,” Dan says. “And for letting me stay on your sofa.”

“Anytime,” Phil says, making Charlie mutter something under his breath. “It was really fun. Even though you wiped the floor with me at Mario Kart.”

“Hah, yeah… well, if you ever fancy your luck at a rematch.”

“Might have to hold you to that.”

“So,” Dan says, shifting from foot to foot. Phil just stares at him, obviously not getting why Dan isn’t already moving towards the door. “Um… my clothes?”

“Oh!” Phil exclaims, practically jumping on the spot. “Sorry, I totally forgot. I’ll be right back.”

Dan wants to grab hold of him, to wrap his arms around Phil’s waist and beg him not to leave the room, to leave him alone with the man he possibly would least want to be alone with on the planet, but he doesn’t get a chance. Not that he would ever deem himself worthy of locking his arms around Phil Lester.

Slowly, Dan swivels back towards Charlie, who is regarding him with one eye open, an arm behind his head. Dan scrambles for something to say, but as usual, Charlie gets there first.

“He’s out of your league, you know.”

“Oh, um, I’m not trying to…”

“Not trying to… worm your way into his life? Parade around in front of him in his clothes and make him lust over your non-existent little ass?”

Dan shuts his mouth, already fuming.

“Look, Dan,” Charlie sighs, smirking as his eyes close. “Phil’s the kind of guy who just… can’t say no to a puppy-dog face, y’know? A heart of gold and all that. He’ll crawl down into the gutters to help someone he feels sorry for. But that’s why he needs me, to stop him from lowering himself too far into the muck.”

“How noble of you,” Dan says, voice grating. “Must be hard for you to reach into the gutter for Phil’s hand. Wouldn’t want you to mess up your seventy euro quiff.”

Charlie’s eyes narrow, and he opens his mouth to retort, but at that moment, Phil wanders back in, a pile of clothes in his hands. Fury still coursing through his veins, Dan stalks over to Phil and takes the load from him, too angry to stay here a minute longer. He grabs his shoes and jacket, his quick movements obviously startling Phil, who just watches with wide eyes.

“I’ll bring your clothes back to the bar, Phil,” Dan says through gritted teeth. “Come get them whenever. See you.” 

He yanks open Phil’s door and steps out into the hall, not bothering to put on his shoes and jacket. He slams it shut behind him, marching to the elevator. It’s not until the doors slide shut behind him, sealing him away from the scene, that Dan allows himself to breathe.

*

To: Phil From: Dan hey. im really sorry for storming out tht was so rude. i had a great time and thanks sm for having me. if u decide to talk to me ever again, i’ll be at the bar. x

Dan hits send before he can think his way out of it, then strips off Phil’s clothes, and crawls into bed. It’s only eight-thirty, but Dan has had enough of today already. There’s something about Charlie. The guy knows exactly how to piss him off.

He reaches for his charger, about to plug his phone in, when it buzzes in his hand. He takes a deep breath before looking, not sure he’s going to like the response.

To: Dan From: Phil hey dw about it!! im sorry if i did something to upset u. or if anyone else did something… xx

Dan sighs, head flopping back against the pillows. Charlie was right about one thing; Phil truly does have a heart of gold, it would seem. Just then, another text pops through.

To: Dan From: Phil i had a really great time too! i’ll totally be coming in to the bar soon :) maybe tomorrow? xx

A slice of panic swoops through Dan’s chest; he sits upright.

To: Phil From: Dan oh, maybe not tomorrow… theres an event on every fourth thursday x

To: Dan From: Phil im intrigued… what sort of event? more bingo? xx

To: Phil From: Dan it’s a charity auction x

To: Dan From: Phil what’s up for auction? xx

To: Phil From: Dan it’s a ‘servant’ auction. so people sign up, then others bid for them lol x

To: Dan From: Phil Sounds fun! I’ll be there xx

Oh, God. Dan chews his lip, trying to picture this. On one hand, Phil is probably open minded enough to enjoy this stupid charity event and all the ridiculousness that goes along with it. On the other, he’ll have to watch Dan auctioning off the scantily clad idiots that sign themselves up for it.

To: Phil From: Dan haha… ok. just prepare urself. its a lot. x

To: Dan From: Phil i have a question though. xx

To: Phil From: Dan yes? x

To: Dan From: Phil where do i sign up? ;) xx

(Part Five!)