#something about each Hatchetfield musical having a bad ending makes me sad

[teague-broski]

Me

the fact that richie’s last significant words (before begging for his life) is ‘i’m not a loser’ is actually soo upsetting it makes me want to kill myself

[hatchetfieldtheories]

Return to Hatchetfield-Town - TGWDLM Part 3

Have I been putting off this part because of sad Bill? Maybe.  Or is it because of all your amazing Ridiculous Hatchetfield Theory submissions? Yeah, you were right the first time.  I just can’t deal with sad Bill.

We left part 2 of the TGWDLM rewatch where the Scooby Gang had turned up at the spooky mansion, which can only go well, and we come back in part 3 as they’ve left the tied up resident bad guy alone with the one person who has a weakness for said bad guy.

Links to previous parts

It’s Ted loving time and I make no apologies for it.

Am I the only one who saw the scene with Ted and Charlotte and immediately got sent back to MAMD’s Joey and Sally?  It’s so good seeing Joey and Jaime acting opposite each other like this again, they both bring the same amount of chaotic brilliance.  

I have no jokes to make for this, I just needed a gif of the “slap” here.  Beautiful.  Iconic.

Here we see a bit of the true Ted, the Ted we see in Time Bastard.  He’s an idiot sure, but its obvious he is actually a hopeless romantic who really cares for Charlotte, underneath an exterior of “sleazeball”. 

When I originally read what happens in Time Bastard I will admit it didn’t really fit with the image I had in my head of Ted.  Ted is first and foremost played for laughs.  He’s selfish and arrogant and funny.  But rewatching TGWDLM, especially with Time Bastard in mind, you do see where Joey let’s Ted’s façade drop.  You see it at a greater extent later when Charlotte dies and Ted goes off on one to Bill.  But you also see it here (I’m sorry Ted fans):

Serious gifs, who is she?

Now. What’s happening in this next little scene? Are we ready for some tin foil hatting?

What do you want Charlotte?

Continuing our theme of characters explaining what they want in clear and certain terms, Charlotte starts praying to God, then Sam wakes up.  Was Sam waiting for everyone else to leave before “waking up” in order to target Charlotte?  Or were Charlotte’s prayers answered by an Eldritch being with the capability to control the Creedy Chorus?  Later Sam says that he “saw god”.  

In Black Friday, Linda attempts to issue in the “birth of a god.”  God is certainly a word the Devil Dolls are happy to attribute to themselves.  Somehow I don’t think it would have mattered if they had gone to a Methodist or Presbyterian church.

Opinion time: Tied Up My Heart is a full on rock bop and deserves way more praise and acclaim. You could have told me this song was from Rock of Ages and I would believed you.

“Don’t you twust me” – serious Wiggly vibes there Sam.

This is kinda catchy Sam!

In part two we briefly discussed when Hidgens became infected, and there is some theories that believe he was infected from the moment he touched the blue brain goo, leading to Show Stopping Number happening.

Charlotte was infected the minute she touched Sam’s brains.  Like Hidgens, it happened slowly, but its very clear it had begun to take root in this song.  Tied Up My Heart is to Charlotte, what Let It Out is to Paul.  They both find themselves dancing without meaning to, they both begin to hear the music.  I’ve mentioned previously that Tied Up My Heart is the only song in which there is an offstage chorus, which would be strange unless for the first time we’re hearing the show as Charlotte is hearing it – she’s beginning to hear the rest of the Hive.

 The only difference between Charlotte and Paul is their wants during these pivotal numbers.  Paul is trying harder to fight the song because his want is to destroy the meteor.  Charlotte isn’t able to fight the song because her want is Sam… and the song is giving her that. 

I think this is the part of the musical where most people pause and proclaim… what the hell am I watching. Which, you know… valid.

Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is?

Ted just casually predicting the ending of the show.  Take out the head and the whole thing falls down – an historically inaccurate statement in the proceedings of Hatchetfield’s apocalypses.

Exhibit A – Taking out the meteor does not stop the hive.

Exhibit B – Sending a Nuke into the Black and White does not stop Wiggly.

I don’t know what Nerdy Prudes will be about but heads up to the characters – maybe don’t try and destroy the root of the issue as your solution.

Obviously there is a lot of story in Emma and Paul’s discussion here, a lot of which gets unpacked and revisited in Forever and Always, but I’m not really going to delve into the specifics of it here.  My biggest take away from this conversation is that Emma explains her past, and her intentions for the future, but at no point is it ever clear what her want is. 

In a musical where character’s are killed because they want something, is it any wonder Emma is the one who survives at the end?  She doesn’t have any big, ultimate want.  She’s jaded and tired, until the end… when what she wants is for Paul to have survived.

This shows a clear distinction between how Pokey and Wiggly operate (and the others, but we’ll discuss them when we get to Nightmare Time.)  Both of these Bothersome Brothers use wanting as their tool of chaos but in very different ways.

Pokey wants you to want something, in order to tempt you with that in order to destroy you.

Wiggly wants to find holes to fill with exaggerated, artificial echoes of a want.

The new game at Toy Zone – Bop Ted

Does anyone else forget for a bit how amazing Jaime’s voice is and then finds themselves entranced when Join Us and Die happens?  I’m sure there is some lore in this song but I’m far too distracted.

If we refer back to our Violence over Time chart from part two of the rewatch you will see we have now fully arrived at the point where the Hive has stopped trying to just entice everyone with fluffy feelings before murdering them, and are now just resorting to “we’re gonna kill you and it’ll hurt a lot.”

I know there is plenty of discussion regarding whether Hidgens is good or bad, infected or not infected etc – but none of that matters.  What matters is he makes the same crappy puns I make in inappropriate situations and I think that’s beautiful.

“The Charlotte you knew and loved was gone the minute a note came out her mouth.” – Snape’s back with the foreshadowing again.

Hidgens then proceeds to subject our heroes to a very intricate test to find out who is human, and who is the musical Doppleganger (one of the AJ Holmes fans there).  I’ve seen Moana once, and I became obsessed with the bioluminescent crab so I don’t remember any of the other songs apart from Shiny.  This is a problem because the only other song I know from Moana has now become Paul’s version of whatever it is he is singing. I refuse to believe there is any other version of that song.

“Their tactic is to hide amongst us, and as their numbers grow, they become more bold.” – yes Hidgens – we’ve all seen the chart.

Acting Masterclass with Corey Dorris

Bill gets a phone call from Alice, she’s stuck at Hatchetfield High and her girlfriend and the other kids have become singing and dancing zombies.  Is this a prequel to High School Musical?

Its worth noting that Alice has locked herself in the Choir room – Hatchetfield High’s number one place to hide when things are going badly - x

Look what happened Nightmare Time.  

Corey Dorris’ face pulls on every heart string I possess.  Not Your Seed is a fantastic song, with some superb singing by Mariah, but the heart of this song is Corey.  Bill is a broken man from the moment he echoes Alice’s words that Grace Chastity is a Nerdy Prude. And the voice crack!

Small warning here for a very brief discussion about suicide. If you want to skip past scroll to the next gif.

The song is an attempt to bring Bill to the Hive, but I think the plan from the start was to push him to shoot himself. Bill wants his daughter back, he wants her to be a part of his life, but unlike with Charlotte, where Hive!Sam attempts to convince her he’s not really dead and wants her, Hive!Alice uses Bill’s want to break him further and further, swinging between Alice’s love and disdain for her father.  This isn’t an attempt to lay a trap and kill him when he falls in it, it’s a blatant push towards him killing himself.  The Hive only picked up the gun because Paul was there to stop him.

I also find the mirror of this moment to later in Watcher World very fascinating.  We obviously know Pokey and Blinky are brothers, and I wonder if the set up leading Alice to point a gun at Bill in Watcher World is Blinky’s twisted humour, echoing what he knows happened in another timeline.  A horrible joke that would be lost on Bill and Alice in that timeline, but very recognisable to all of us Watchers.

Once again the Hive could have easily killed Paul, but they don’t.  They make a big song and dance (get it?) out of how the guns not good enough to kill him with and then they start singing at him just in time for the army to turn up.  The Hive had no intention of killing Paul yet, though obviously they can’t let him know that.  Paul has been chosen as their Hero.  He’s got work to do.

Hatchetfield High Homework

Just the one this week, I’m currently doing an Ask series where I attempt to make ridiculous sounding Hatchetfield Theories make sense.  You can find them by searching Ridiculous Hatchetfield Theories.  Go and have a look and follow the wonderful people sending them in.

When the rewatch returns, we get our first peep into the world of PEIP.

[charlottesweetly]

Hi! For the character thing you reblogged - Charlotte. Unless someone already made that ask then,, mayhaps HCB?

- red

hell yes thaNK U warning tho this ended up SO LONG

Why I like them

An absolute DISASTER, relatable

Soft tbh

I big love Jaime

Her background stuff in the digital ticket akdklslkalksa

Like.... the coffee machine thing

Paul: you know the....the “latte hotte....”

Charlotte: OH yeah......*awkwardly waves at Emma*

Hidgens: 20 YEARS AGO I WOULD HAVE HAD TO WALK TO THE DIMMER

Charlotte:

Why I don’t

honestly i cannot think of a reason ;-;

like i’m not even mad about the “she only sees Ted as a side-piece” bit bc it makes everything MESSIER and more relatable

uhh has the audacity to not be real i guess. gotta do everything myself around here and just become her

Favorite scene

JOIN US AND DIE

The bin scene in the DT!!!!

HEADBAND SCENE HEADBAND SCENE HEADBAND SCENE

Favorite line

there are.....too many ok

“Sweetheart it’s......it’s cuddle night”

“Huh? Oh! I didn’t even realise!”

“It is time......to DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE”

“WE’RE GONNA KICK YOUR ASS AND THEN WE’RE GONNA FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS”

“Your own body is your front row seat” (THE IMPLICATIONS)

Favorite outfit

she has like 2 (purple sweater and cat sweater) but definitely cat sweater!!

OTP

Ted Ted Ted Ted Ted Ted Ted

Brotp

Literally everyone this woman could make friends with the entire town if she wanted. 

Paul tho. HC that they’ve known each other since childhood, or in some AUs where Char moves to Hatchetfield after marrying Sam, since she first moved there and they r inseparable

Also Bill!! They go to stuff like couples baking classes together and Bill vents about his ex wife to her a lot bc she UnderstandsTM. 

Nora as well just bc she’s one of my other faves. They chat a lot at Beanies and they both like knitting so they talk about their projects together. Nora also deeply cares about Charlotte and is very protective over her

Head Canon(s)

She only really cries about serious stuff when its really, really bad, but she happy-cries over small things like cute books and kittens very easily. She’s also a sympathetic crier imo, so if someone else is crying she will too

Also.......bi as fuck just bc I gotta project my bi-ness onto every character I like. She never really had the chance to explore her attraction to women before marrying Sam, but I imagine she’s exploring it now.

Very Christian upbringing lmao

Married Sam really young, like 18ish. Mostly to rebel against her parents who didn’t like Sam (i wonder why).

Is like, constantly dissociated and experiences a lot of depersonalisation too.

Unpopular opinion

I dont know how to explain it but i feel like some of the fandom may just see her as a bit of a pushover bc of how she was in TGWDLM with Sam? Or just like as a bit of a sad-cat-lady. As much as I agree that Sam is probably shitty to her I feel like she can stand up for herself and defend herself to an extent u feel? She’s sort of assertive with Ted (That’s not the only reason) and Infected!Sam (“I love you too Sam but I cannot let you go” / “Don’t you twust me?” “Uhhhhhh”) Tbh I think the only reason she started dancing was because she too was getting infected from touching Sam’s brain/being around the spores (in the DT version she hears the music and asks Sam where the voices are coming from!). 

Also I sort of theorise that after infection the real person is sort of still there, but they’re also....exaggerated? So I think the absolute rage Charlotte had going on in JUAD was something she’d been holding back and she probably had a lot of resentment going on in her life (eg “and I know I’ve been so ANGRY with him lately”). 

Oh! I also think she’d be friendly with Zoey like... I hate the trope of women seeing the same guy and hating each other instead of the guy. I’m sure Zoey’s a perfectly nice person and she’s like 10 years younger than Emma, who’s a few years younger than Charlotte and (i assume) Sam so alllll kinds of red flags are going off on Sam already. I like to think Charlotte would befriend her and be like “hey u should leave Sam because u deserve a LOT BETTER than him”

A wish

More content pls.....backstory pls........canon CharTed mayb?? Or at least canon divorce.......

More Charlotte and Paul interaction

More Charlotte and Bill interaction

ANY Charlotte and Mr Davidson interaction bc i have built up SUCH a mentor-like relationship between them in my brain

Any Charlotte and Melissa interaction

Any Charlotte and Zoey interaction (but friendly)

It’s a big stretch but maybe in the film Charlotte and Nora interaction skasklasklak

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

I’ve seen a few people float the idea that Sam and Charlotte’s relationship is mutually toxic and that she’s kind of shitty too bc she’s also cheating, so that’s something I really hope doesn’t get confirmed

Please Nick do not Ted her I swear to god-

5 words to best describe them

Soft

Sunshine

Mess

Affectionate

Me

My nickname for them

Cat! It can be a common name for Charlottes and since she likes cats a ton I just <33333

Also Lottie! it’s a bit stereotypical but still adorable and makes me think of the animal crossing otter

[inevitablekickline]

some high school (semi-AU) headcanons for the TGWDLM squad

well I’m on a fuckin roll here, so have some headcanons for our favorite non!infected humans

Paul Matthews gives off heavy band kid vibes. Is that just me? But no seriously, I could totally see him in his school’s concert band (I’m assuming that since they have no theatre department, the Timberwolves band is also pretty sad and small, unless it’s the opposite and they funnel all their money into vocal and instrumental music when it’s in terms of the arts? I’ll mull it over some more). But just based off of eight and a half years of band, he’s giving me some strong clarinetist vibes. Or maybe even oboe. But definitely not a brass person, although if any...maybe French horn?

Emma Perkins was not only in theatre in high school, but she was also on the speech forensics team. Hatchetfield is in the Midwest, and speech is pretty big at least in my part of the Midwest, so...yeah she’s a speechie, too. I could see her being big into Humorous Prose (Humorous Interpretation where I’m from) but I could also see her doing Poetry and Impromptu, although I know Impromptu is also kind of a regional thing, so ???

Bill was also in band, and he went to Sycamore with Paul. We know Paul and Bill are very close friends, so I’m gonna take that all the way back to at least high school, maybe even middle school. Bill gives me strong flute or MAYBE also clarinet vibes. Once I decide on Paul’s placement, I’ll put Bill where it makes sense.

Hatchetfield High and Sycamore competed in everything, and Sycamore was used to losing, mostly in sports. Just kinda works with the whole “We hated you guys!” “We hated ourselves,” exchange. Although, I’m going to say that Sycamore had some good vocal music groups, and their speech team was alright, so that’s where the main competition went. But Sycamore sports? Their only good teams were maybe tennis and golf, that’s about it.

Speaking of rivalries, Hatchetfield High vs. Clivesdale Central was like the high school version of Red Sox vs. Yankees (sorry to all my non-US followers who are lost, I don’t even sports ok) for these two towns. Their speech teams always went to State, their theatre departments were crazy competitive in One Act competitions, and their sports teams? Hooooo boy, major rivalries. Like, people vandalizing stuff bad. Sycamore was just kind of...there, actually. They didn’t get as wrapped up in the rivalries, because they hated themselves enough.

Paul was drum major senior year for his marching band. They got threes almost all season (that’s low average in the division ranking scale, FYI).

Emma tried color guard for one year and quit as soon as the season was done, because she hated the drama. (Speaking mildly from personal experience?) But she was amazing with the guard rifles and would kick anyone who tried to mess up her silks.

Ted Porker was definitely the “peaked in high school jock” type, except that his ego was bigger than his reputation. He was benched for most of the basketball season, and the tennis team hated him. Cross country was alright for him, although the team still hated him. He also went to Sycamore, but he never spoke much to Paul and Bill. Everyone at least knew of each other, because in small towns, everyone knows everyone, at least from their area, since Emma didn’t know the others.

Bill married his high school sweetheart, but we all know that didn’t end so well. However, we also know that they must have hit it off pretty soon, since Alice is 17/18 when the others are in their mid-thirties. Bill and his girlfriend were adorable in high school, however. She was an art kid, he was a music nerd who couldn’t talk himself up enough to do anything besides band. It was adorable.

Jane Perkins was a senior when Emma was in eighth grade, so while Emma never dealt with her sister being at the same school as her, she dealt with all the aftermath. Every teacher would ask how Jane was doing, and Emma hated it. She loved her sister, yeah, but... she didn’t enjoy this.

On the topic of Jane, Jane was also in theatre, as well as choir, speech, band, and dance team. She was student council president senior year, and drum major junior and senior year. She played flute, sang soprano, and was stellar in Extemporaneous, Dramatic Prose/Interp, and Persuasive/Original Oratory (more speech terms ok). Hence why Emma would always do anything her sister didn’t...until she finally tried out for theatre.

Paul Matthews didn’t mind Disney movies and such, but there was just something about that production of Brigadoon that really set him off. Maybe it was the fact that they had been forced to watch a production of a show from a rival school who actually had the funding to do these things. Maybe it was that their Tommy was awful and their Meg was pitchy and completely unfunny, or that Jean was the only good dancer in the whole show and she didn’t even get to sing much at all. Maybe it was the fact that they had all this funding and opportunity, but it was being squandered, while at his high school, he knew plenty of people with musical talent that could pull off this show, but they didn’t even get a chance. Or maybe he just really didn’t like Brigadoon. Or both.

Charlotte is actually from Clivesdale. She moved to Hatchetfield when she went to college, facing a lot of backlash from fellow students due to her growing up in Clivesdale. So for this AU, sadly, Charlotte doesn’t interact with the others as much. But she was definitely a band kid, too. She seems like a bass clarinet kind of person. Lots of clarinet in this group, wow.

Okayyyyy I think that’s all for now! I’d love to hear what else y’all have ideas for, but I’m really enjoying fleshing this out...plus, as more info on Black Friday comes out, it would be fun to tie it all together ;)