#something about ‘sacrificial trash’ idk

[nellies-ghost]

Honestly I don’t think a Scooby-Doo fandom is possible. If you have seen even 10 seconds of any of the shows you are automatically a fan. There is no escaping. Scooby can’t have a fandom because Scooby lives on in the hearts of all of us.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 6 . Truth

a/n: i think my blood count is running low again so i might not be able to write for a while but idk yet. also my class schedule is literally from 9 am to 7 pm so i don't really know when i'll be able to write 🥲

tags: abuse as the norm, reader doesn't know better. unintentional self-harm(?), hints of power tripping

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

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On doesn’t know how to tell Cale about the things she found out.

Well, it’s not a matter of her hesitating to tell him. There’s no way On would hesitate to tell Cale, someone she has come to see as her parental figure, such important information. Rather, it's the timing of things that made her hesitate every time.

From the moment Cale woke up things have been hectic. There are changes to their schedule and a lot more things to do. Especially now that they managed to capture some of Arm’s members.

With everyone busy running around here and there, On took it upon herself to make sure _____ doesn’t get injured.

The silver kitten can’t fully comprehend why someone would offer their all for other people to the point of being on the brink of death. Saving people is good, but one should not overdo it. After all, being alive is the best thing as Cale had taught her.

Well, Cale is also self-sacrificial but that's On’s headache for another day.

For now, she focuses on limiting the healer to use their healing abilities as much as possible and trying to find the chance to tell Cale the issue.

“Don’t worry, it's dangerous but not dangerous as in you will get hurt dangerous.”

If Cale looked at her funnily then On pretended not to notice. The important thing is she finally managed to tell him that they must talk about _____’s powers. Since the redhead must first go and attend some business, On opted to just give Cale a snippet and continue it after they get back.

And so that night, after having dinner with the cute half-rat half-dwarf Mueller, Cale and On finally had their overdue talk.

Aside from them and the other two children, Choi Han, Beacrox, and Ron are also in the room to listen in. 

“If that’s the case then chances are _____-nim’s healing abilities work like a transfer.”

Silence filled the room at Choi Han’s comment. All of them are thinking about how to confirm such things.

“We can just talk to _____ themself! They’re super nice so I’m sure they’ll tell us.”

“But maybe that will be uncomfortable for little _____”

Raon shut down Hong’s suggestion. However, Cale thinks it’s a good idea.

“It’s not like we have much option, we either ask them directly or sneak around to see evidence while they are using their power.”

And safe to say that Cale wants to choose the less hassle option, asking _____ directly.

After scamming– selling the research remains of the Magic Tower to Toonka and talking to Choi Han, Cale managed to squeeze talking to _____ in his schedule.

While the swordmaster was out to get the healer, Cale felt a sense of dread. He suddenly thought of how _____ never seems to share their story. This makes him think about the chance that maybe the healer is simply unwilling to share the information.

He may be trash but he's not a jerk who will force someone to share their story if it will resurface their trauma.

“So you have no problem telling me? Why haven’t you said anything until now?”

Turns out, _____ is more than okay sharing everything with Cale. They stated that whatever it is Cale needed to know, they are willing to share as long as they know of it.

“It’s because Cale-sunbae has never asked me? They say that if someone of my status shares something personal unprompted then it will be burdensome for the other party. It is also bad to speak unprompted, they said that it’s bad enough that punishment is due when such a misdemeanour is committed.”

Cale Henituse has a pretty good idea as to who that “they” is but he internalizes his anger and decides to focus on the task at hand. He motions for _____ to continue speaking.

“Cale-sunbae, I’m sure you’ve heard of how I got adopted?”

“Yes, what about that story?”

“That story is a lie. Why they lied about it is something I am unsure of.

I was originally from an orphanage. This orphanage is different because they sell gifted children, the children vary from beast children to children with special abilities like me.”

‘Sounds more like a human trafficking scheme, but I can't be sure.’

Cale thought to himself as he listened to _____ talk.

“I have been adopted because the Perduellios were on the verge of going bankrupt. They decided to adopt a child with special abilities so they could maximize the wealth and glory that comes with it. It is also the real reason why I am not affiliated with the Sun God church. However, it is also true that my health would not be able to handle the workload of being a holy maiden”

If _____ is officially affiliated with the church then they would essentially be a property of the church. Minimizing the profits the family can get.

“There’s also the fact that they said I would humiliate the family if I’m not under their supervision- Ah, I’m sorry! I just realized that I’m getting off-track”

“No, continue. I’m quite curious as to how that family raised you.”

Did what Cale said surprised him? Definitely. He is usually someone who does not actively seek out such things as it brings more headaches.

But oh well, _____ is one of his people anyway so it wouldn’t hurt to know about their enemies. Even if the healer isn't aware they are enemies.

“How was I raised? I was raised normally, just like how other people have been. The Perduellios gave me food, clothing, and a roof over my head. I think they were a little strict with me but they said it was because there are so many things I have to learn.”

“Strict how?”

“Instead of tutors and teachers, they used more physical ways to teach me. They said it was a little unconventional but the only way I would learn things fast.

They had a lot of unspoken rules that I had to follow. They said that usually, a child will gradually learn what those rules are as they grow up. However, they opted to punish me for every rule I broke as I am behind my peers.”

‘What a load of bullshit. That’s not normal at all.’

Cale internally sighed before asking what kind of punishment they got. _____ explained that it’s either being whipped or having hot candle wax poured on their skin, whatever the family’s biological child deemed fitting at the moment.

The healer was asked if they figured out what some of those rules were and they said they had.

They are not allowed to speak when not spoken to

They must always answer when spoken to

They must never speak to other nobles as they are a peasant

They are not allowed to have servants and must never ask any servant for help (this was why they never bothered Hans, Ron, and Beacrox)

They are not allowed to go somewhere without guards

They must only take what their adoptive family gives to them

They must refer to their adoptive family as father, mother, and big sister outside, but must call them call them by their noble titles in private

All gifts given to them must go to the family

They are not allowed to refuse to heal anyone, the only exceptions are if it's beyond their capabilities (like chronic illness)

When they heal someone the family must be informed. 

They said that there was more that they did not figure out. However, Cale thinks that all of this is just a bunch of bullshit excuses used to hurt and exploit a child that didn't know better. Then as a result, even as an adult that person still doesn't know any better.

“Human! This is not normal! Little _____ has been deceived by those trash people! You better get revenge on them too!”

Both Cale and Raon are on the same page. Even before the dragon’s comment, Cale was already thinking about what he could do about _____’s family.

However, there was another thing that concerned the redhead.

It was the way _____ was telling the story.

Aside from the usual calmness they had, they were speaking as though it wasn't their story. It was as if they were just relaying the morning news.

To some extent, Cale thinks it's advantageous for the healer to be able to separate themselves from what happened. Even if they aren't aware that what they went through was abuse.

However, it wasn't like that.

It was more like _____ has become detached from things relating to themself.

Cale would even dare say that maybe it's because they are scared to face the hurt and longing they felt.

Not that the man is speaking from experience.

“How come you had no marks on your body? Even at the City of Life the only ones the doctor saw were the wounds you had that day.”

“Ah, that is part of my abilities. Even though I can’t heal myself, my body heals wounds a little faster than average and is incapable of scarring.”

‘This… just how lucky were those bastards that they even had the perfect cover-up?’

While Cale was thinking about how to make the Perduellios disappear from the face of the world, _____ further explained how their healing powers work.

“For my healing abilities, a percentage of my patients' wounds or sickness will transfer onto me. Ah don’t worry as I will only get around 70% of whatever I am healing and it will not be contagious whatever it may be. In return, I can give them some of my vitality. I say I give around 3% of my vitality per patient and then it is multiplied when I transfer it to them.”

Cale swallows the curse words he wants to say. He feels immense frustration at the person who seems to be more concerned at the possibility of Cale thinking they’ll get the entire group sick, and not at the fact that they’re giving their health away to random strangers.

“Uhm you might be thinking that the vitality thing is the reason why I have a weak body but it's not. Apparently, I was just unlucky and happened to have a body this weak.”

Huuuu

The redhead feels as though he will curse a storm if he doesn’t at least sigh.

“Because of how my abilities work, the more severely wounded or sick someone is, the harder it will be for me to heal them. Things like small scratches or common colds would not hurt but more severe wounds might have dire consequences on my body. That’s why I can’t heal severed limbs or terminal illnesses.”

The Medicus proceeds to explain that in theory, they can heal those things. However, it might cost them some part of the same limb or their lifespan as well as some manifestations of the illness.

“Human, let's not make little _____ heal anyone! That power is dangerous for them!”

Cale agrees with the dragon to some extent. But he also thinks that they can still use it as long as it’s in moderation.

“Hmm, I guess in theory I might also be able to revive a dead person once if I get to them right after they die. Though I think I’d have a week left to live if I did that. I haven’t tested it out yet so I’m not sure…”

Cale did not need to know that. There's absolutely no way he'll let this healer revive someone from the dead at the cost of their own life.

“...Don’t. No testing out any of those things. No testing out healing terminally ill people. The same goes for people with severe or paralyzed limbs. Just don’t okay?”

_____ doesn’t quite understand Cale’s requests but agrees nonetheless. The redhead is their benefactor so it would only be right to follow his wishes even if they don't understand why he would make such requests.

What the healer didn’t notice was the way the noble’s face hardened for a second when they were talking about reviving a dead person.

Cale is definitely going to keep a closer eye on them.

Maybe even ask Hillsman to be their personal knight…

No, never mind. _____ already grew up suffocated by the amount of guards they had following them. Cale isn't evil enough to recreate that.

So maybe he'll just make sure the healer doesn't leave his side?

“As for my ancient power, you already know that it’s a water-type power. I can look at someone’s “blood flow” to roughly figure out how strong and what species they are. As to how I accurately know the species of what I'm looking at, the owner of the power tells me. He was also the one who told me to hide my power from everyone. He doesn't speak much, he just tells me what someone is when I ask for it or when he feels like it.

Another thing it does is allow me to sense any living creatures in water. This is as long as we are touching the same water as what happened when I first met Raon Miru-nim.

It also allows me to replenish someone’s energy and stamina. However, I can’t do anything about hunger. Fainting is something I can prevent, but Cale-sunbae’s condition is special as you pass out because of your abilities so I can’t interfere with that. I’m sorry.”

They looked really sorry for not being able to prevent Cale from passing out. A big part of why they can’t interfere is because if they do then they will be breaking the ancient power’s flow of work.

“Last question.”

Cale feels like he knows the answer but he still wants to hear _____’s perspective.

“Why do you still insist on giving your all for people who will never appreciate what you do?”

It’s a foreign question for the healer. Something no one has asked before. 

Something they didn’t even think about.

Even before they were adopted they have always been draining themself for others. The motion of offering themself up to others is as natural as a fish looking for water.

It didn’t matter if they were unloved or unwanted.

In fact, _____ knew in the back of their mind that no one loved them.

“I am both unwanted or unneeded. Then isn’t it only right that I present myself to be used until nothing is left of me?”

That was the conclusion they had come to.

Their life would have no meaning if they didn’t let others use them. Maybe there is, but _____ doesn’t know what could it be. Already so used to their current way of living.

“I understand now.”

That was all that Cale said to _____’s explanation of their powers. He told the healer to go back to their tent and rest.

As soon as it was just him and Raon in the room, Cale roughly rubbed his hands through his face.

Cale summarized in his head that in a way _____'s ability wasn't really healing but more like transferring. They multiply and transfer their vitality to make someone better.

The ability itself was easy to understand. Setting up measures to make sure _____ doesn’t overdo it is also easy.

However, Cale Henituse still feels frustrated.

And he can’t quite fathom why he feels that way.

[cha1cedony]

Just woke up in the middle of the night and about to try to get back to sleep again but: if Grant Wilson had the chance to live as any kind of bug for idk 24 hours? What kind of bug do you think he’d choose and, if it’s different, which bug do YOU think would suit him best? 🥰

OH MY GOODNESS. This is the best thing anyone’s ever asked me HAHAHA. For context… I love bugs (and Grant ofc) SOOO much

Ahem. Okay. Okay. This is a multi-faceted question. And I plan to be very annoying about it 😁‼️‼️‼️ I’m going to put it under a break bc I actually spent (too much) time rambling and overthinking this lol

WARNING: Very long and nonsensical Grant bug ramble below. Also, there are images of insects and spiders!

The Grant Bug Post

24-hour bug survival (lmao)

As much as I love bugs (using that term very loosely in this post btw), I doubt Grant would WANT to be a bug for a day (because he is no fun!!! 😤👎 /lh). However, let’s say he’s fighting an entomologist acolyte (who used to be one of Henry’s co-docents at the natural history museum or something lol) and is turned into a bug for 24 hours, but he gets to choose the bug beforehand.

In this situation, Grant would go for a tactical bug, but he probably also has limited knowledge of bugs (again, no fun). His pick would need to be resilient and small enough to hide/run quickly. I don’t think he would go for something that can actually do much damage; he’d rather wait out the 24 hour period. Cockroaches infamously can take a few stomps, can hold up to radiation (which mayyy have been important in pre-Code Purple apocalypse Earth?), and can kinda scurry around and hide and survive on trash for a day. They also live for about a year (not that Grant would probably know that), so in case something went awry and he WASN’T immediately turned back after 24 hours, he would live longer than other bugs, giving the other kiddads enough time to hopefully figure something out (although, if Nicky’s problem-solving skills are any evidence, they probably would NOT figure out a way to turn Grant back 😔 lol)

If Grant was in a similar situation, but he NEEDED to defend himself/others (instead of just running and hiding), I can imagine him going for something that both flies and stings, like a bee or wasp: feels sniper-y, satisfies both his violent and self-sacrificial tendencies, etc. Unfortunately, one sting is not gonna get the job done, unless maybe the acolyte is allergic to bees :) Grant is very headstrong and unfortunately would definitely launch himself into battle as fuckin bee if he was in a bad mood. Hopefully, in this situation, the other guys would be there to hold him back from becoming a bee and immediately dying 😭

I was also trying to think of bugs (or bug-adjacent creatures) that shoot projectiles of any kind (because sniper lol), but I can only think of bombardier beetles, which shoot explosive liquid out of their abdomens (very cool, but Grant would not know about them).

PS: Snails can also shoot hormonal projectiles called “love darts” that are used to determine assert sexual dominance and which snail will be male/female for reproduction (since they’re hermaphroditic) but. That’s definitely not applicable here 😭😭 I just wanted to share. They also have bad aim, so Grant could never be a snail 🙄 hehehah

For fun :)

Aside from missions or life/death situations, the only time I think Grant would willingly become a bug for 24 hours (<- CRAZY phrase LMAO) is to make Lincoln happy :) Link’s favorite animals are caterpillars, and I can imagine Grant finding some kind of item/spell to turn himself into a bug and IMMEDIATELY dropping everything to be Link’s pet caterpillar for the day hehe. Some kind of friendly, cute caterpillar who won’t make Lincoln itchy… or turn into a butterfly and fly away 🥲 He would even let Link shake him around in a jar for a little while (he always scolds Link for trying to keep bugs in jars hehe). That way, he gets to encourage Link’s interests in a way that is VERY safe for all parties involved. If Grant had to pick ONE bug for to become, I think he would go with a caterpillar, unless he was in the special situations I described above. (Maybe I should’ve put this paragraph higher up! :p)

Google (more specifically, this website—that’s right; I’m citing my sources in the Grant bug post 😎) says monarchs and anise swallowtails are common in southern California, and they’re both big and cute and not too prickly, so I can imagine those being some of Link’s favorites :) I think his favorite is the monarch specifically (the yellow stripey one below) but Grant likes the swallowtail (the green spotted one)

Kid/teen Grant

As a kid, I think Grant was probably grossed out by bugs and would NOT want to be one (again, boring smh). I was trying to think of a soccer-related bug, but the best I can come up with is a dung beetle 😬 He would NOT want to be a dung beetle. There are unfortunately no gamer bugs (except maybe the Pikachu spider shown below, but Grant would not like spiders, nor would he really care about Pokemon). Bugs should try playing Fortnite, I think

Assigning him a… bugsona? lol

OKAY. On to the more important question… What bug do I think Grant would be? I’m actually shocked I’ve never thought about it before because, in past fandoms I’ve been in, I have a history of making lists of what bug each character would be. Very self-indulgent, I know. Shush. I’m being self-indulgent right now 😤 I think I’ll make a list of potential bugs for each DnDads character… ANYWAY

My immediate reaction to this question was some kind of beetle. Grant actually has always reminded me a LOT of an old anthropomorphic beetle OC I had in high school :) He was a green stag beetle—Lamprima adolphinae—and I think it suits Grant really well!

As a character, Grant generally feels very beetle-ish to me; he is very big and imposing with a tough exterior, both physically and metaphorically. BUT he can also be very lovey, easily embarrassed, bookish, a little geeky, etc. which I associate with these beetles in particular mostly just because of that old OC I mentioned before. And they’re GREEN! Grant is green (in my heart and mind hehe). It’s perfect B)

I know my initial cockroach mention might’ve sounded funny, but I can definitely imagine Grant as a roach o_o !!! Again, they’re wide and sturdy and headstrong, but flighty/skittish at the same time. Very Grant. I also could see him being an assassin bug. The name works for him too haha 🥲🥲

I could also MAYBE imagine him as other similarly sleek bugs, like a bald-faced hornet, but I think beetles or true bugs (assassin bugs, cicadas, etc.) suit him best. I can’t really imagine him being a small bug

Okay. Okay. Phew. I cannot believe I wrote THIS MUCH about bug Grant. If only I could write this much of my fic this fast lmao 😭

MY FINAL VERDICT…. 🥁🥁🥁

I think Grant would choose to be a cockroach 🪳 for survival purposes, but he would easily be a caterpillar 🐛 to make his son happy. If I had to give Grant a.. bugsona?, it would be a stag beetle 🪲 for sure! :)

If you actually read all of this, uhhh thank you???? 🐞 <- here’s a lucky ladybug for you. PLEASE tell me your DnDads bug opinions if you have any I’d love to hear them 🙏 Maybe someday I will draw the main characters as anthro bugs (bc that’s like. the only thing I can draw heheh)

Thanks so much to Isadora for sending this ask omg!!!! :’) I saw it a little bit ago while doing schoolwork, and I was super excited to write this silly post, so it helped motivate me to finish. Feeling a lot better :) Sorry I wrote such a long response haha! PS: I hope you got some sleep!!! >:0

[eatsyourheartout]

How is the relationship between Violet and the Diaboys and Yui?

soooo glad u asked nonni <3

btw vi is the sacrificial bride so “canonically” yui isn’t there but let’s add her for this ask!

YUI

vivi tried multiple times to convince her to pierce a couple of her ears, she already has earrings for her ready!! she used magnets to give her a visual too but yui wouldn’t budge, MAYBE an upper lobe piercing but other than that it’s a no-no

often goes shopping w yui when the dicks aren’t bothering her, as much as how vile loves yui’s cute lil conservative coquette outfits and teasing her about being the “mary” she is.. she wishes for her to explore more, got her a FEWW y2k outfits but ofc nothing too revealing, boooo!

violet hates opening up to someone but yui’s kinda her comfort person, she wouldn’t dump everything on her though she’d rather stay around her when she’s having an episode and hangout, maybe spill a few of her feelings that need clarification (if she’s overthinking it or not), she feels safe and secure around her, yui reminds vi of a teacher she had once in her religious school, her inner-child heals around yui

REIJI

despises her and her horrendously slutty outfit choices so much that he tried to dump them all away til vi’s cheap ass brought them back from the trash bins, she now hides most of her clothes away from him and does her own laundry

as much as how reiji punishes her for biting back and not letting him talk down on her she still never fuckin quits and he finds? that? amusing? amusing enough to getting curious about what her limit is

very very VERY little moments of them bonding, only time they bond over something is tea, poetry books and witchcraft (when wanting potions/herbs, and no he doesn’t share, she gotta be his slave for him to share : cleaning the whole mansion til it’s spotless, cooking dinner etc) and it’s rare for it to end in a good note he has to pull something out of his tight lil clenched ass

SHU

they rarely interact, sometimes she forgets he’s even there but she likes him, finds him pretty cool

loves that he’s a libra too and always brings it up to him “yk.. we’re both libras.. we’d be pretty good friends no? 😁”

last time they interacted was abt music! she asked him if he liked metal or any alternative music, unfortunately she left that convo disappointed.. missed opportunity

AYATO

they’re literally chucky and tiffany

they play video games together! she gets fake pompoms and cheers for him during practice too, let him dye her hair once and gave eachother tattoooss!! ugh the shit i can start

best fucking friends

he’s the one that convinced her to dye her hair red and she loved it enough to come back to it

convinced him to let her do an industrial piercing, he gave her SHITTT for it from how painful it was but at least he looks sexy now

unfortunately drags her down with him everytime he’s in trouble, knows vi would back him up and not give him an earful after (fuck u reiji ‼️)

they skip class together esp math (the teacher doesn’t even know that he has vile n ayato in his class from how much they skip 😭) n they’re usually in the cafeteria stealing snacks from the back, ayato got cocky and stole a whole box of fruit juice n they got caught

she has a fat crush on him n he knows it sooooooo fucking well, makes fun of her for it every time and uses it to his advantage

yea they need a whole different post but that kinda sums it up

KANATO

hell on earth

got out of trouble w him a few times by recommending sweet shops & lolita clothing stores, unfortunately gets dragged w him bc idk why he just won’t go alone$?8;!;!&?$?!!??!?! but she had fun til he forced her to wear one during hot and boiling summer air 😁

rarely interact til he wants something to shit on but she finds him hilarious when the triplets are together

LAITO

took her awhile to be in good terms w this .. man but now they sometimes gossip to eachother (ACTUALLY.. she wishes to do that he just thinks w his dick usually or doesn’t listen unless it’s about his brothers)

laito reminds vi of someone from religion school she was extremely uncomfortable with let’s just say that much !

SUBARU

she wants to be friends w him soooo bad but he drives her away

her fav thing to say when he’s in his lil i’m mysterious stay away from me episodes are “ur such a scorpio” n he gets pissed

she got him tripp pants on his birthday and he still hasn’t worn them even though they’d look perfect for him, must be a skinny jeans kind of guy 👎🏻👎🏻

RUKI

she heard about the cat incident they are NEVER interacting

YUMA

he makes her too nervous to even interact, finds him GORGEOUS

everytime they talk vile twirls her hair and giggles a lot

tried to get him on 90s hip hop & afro beat but he’s not a music guy n it makes her sad

she got him a bunch of chains & wife beaters, she kept complimenting him when he wore grey sweatpants so he can wear it more, she wants to turn him into a manwhore so bad

KOU

tries not to get too close bc she’s so fucking scared of him

sometimes they talk about pop culture shit and when he’s in a good mood he tells her abt his personal stories with hollywood & other celebs

her arab genes refuses gifts in any way so if he bought her flowers or new outfits she’s just gonna threaten to kill herself than take that gift /j !!!!!!!

AZUSA

bond over pretty knives and daggers (she collects them as-well!! but not for the same reason he does 😁)

finds him super cute from afar. they rarely interact

disclaimer : just because she’s getting along w them well n their relationship sounds like sunshine and rainbows doesn’t mean she’s not viewed as a blood bag & treated horribly, she’s treated worse for her loud mouth n lack of submission (unless it’s ayato what a lil slut), this is just the surface of it, i didn’t wanna write about the dark parts just yet so let’s enjoy these cute lil moments w them from now on yea?

[aragima]

hannibal questions! 🍖🔪

@nietzscheantrout @horrorlesbians and @hanniba1 wanted me to answer these hannibal questions and i wrote too much but oh well! thanks to all 3 of you ilu!!!

favorite episode and why: oh we’re just goin straight to the hard questions huh um OKAY so i think i can only do an ep a season - s1: SORBET SUPREMACY! you get to see the exact moment will looks at hannibal and thinks “.........shit. it’s him isn’t it. he’s The One. SHIT.” and that is so important to me - s2: this one is really hard maybe naka-choko? it’s so fucking gay and sexy. but tome-wan... but mizumono............ yeah idk - s3: torn between digestivo and the wrath of the lamb cuz they both hurt SOOO good much; i love will breaking up with hannibal and hannibal manipulating the situation so will can’t leave asldkjansk it’s so toxic we have to stan..... and for twotl i mean do i really have to give a reason every scene LIVES in my mind and it contains my favorite shot in the whole show:

that is LOVE baby! that is DESIRE! that is being ENTHRALLED!!!!

least favorite episode and why: i feel like they’re all so necessary that it’s kind of impossible to say but probably antipasto. i get sick of hannibal and bedelia’s shenanigans really quickly and as much as i hate to admit it... i miss will. i also think it was an extremely weak season opener and i blame it for getting the show canceled sjshshsgsg the resentment...

favorite side character: chiyoh or jimmy or actually wait— RANDALL TIER 🖤

if you could bring back one character who died, who would it be?: RANDALL FUCKING TIER. i want there to be a weird thing with him and hannibal and will going on. but also i love what his death did for will so idfk, other than him it’s gotta be beverly

dish prepared in the show that you would like to try eating/making: i was supposed to make hannibal’s osso bucco recipe like 3 weeks ago but it completely slipped my mind so i guess i’ll get on that my next grocery trip  

which side character would you kill off?: chilton just because for god’s sake just let the man DIE ALREADY poor guy <- i’m taking ava’s answer because YEAH

was there any scene that you didn’t like to look at?: nah. the skin ripping scenes at the beginning of either kaiseki or sakizuki (idk i don’t remember, i hardly watch s2a) are particularly brutal but i tough it out

biggest ship: i mean do i even have to say

why did you start watching hannibal?: my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, and her dad were watching it as it was airing and i was like “oh cool hannibal lecter origin story” but due to inconsistent access to the episodes i would just watch it randomly and that is... not the way to watch hannibal. i gave up around the end of s2 but knew hannigram was It regardless. i decided to watch s3 for the first time earlier this year just to have finished it and was like HOLD UP and did an immediate rewatch that left me... well, how i am now

favorite hannibal fic if you’ve read any?:

oh boy. yall ready for this? all of these can be found on ao3 obviously (i’m so sorry this is so long but i guess i’ve been asked to put together a fic rec anyway)

as soft, as wide as air by blackknightsatellite, the ladders series by emungere, blackbird by emungere, consenting to dream series by emungere, taken for rubies by emungere, at first meeting by emungere, protect me from what i want by @alienfuckeronmain, god of the cold, cold wars by highermagic, the abyss smiled back by highermagic, pomegranate seeds by highermagic, absolute zero by highermagic, in the truly gruesome do we trust by sidnihoudini, TKO by sidnihoudini, oh dear by lunarwench, each according to its kind by chapparral_crown, a flood in our hearts by nanoochka, let me sinful be by darlingred, uncomplicated by stratumgermanitivum & youaremydesign, good bones by @damnslippyplanet​, like they do in babylon by @damnslippyplanet​, your obedient servant by kareliasweet, past our satellites by shotgunsinlace, only the tender meat by isagel, the shape of me will always be you by missdisoriental, a white-walled room by rodabonor, spleen et idéal by rodabonor, the paper doll series by rodabonor, a common point of interest by rodabonor [i do NOT like a/b/o stuff but if i did... it’s this fic], just thought you should know by earthsickwithoutyou, the sacrificial lamb by princesskay, transcendent suffering by itsbeautiful, not something polite by moistdrippings, leave your message after the tone by onewhositswithturtles, holes in the floor of the mind by feverdreamblood, crossing caina by feverdreamblood, the archipelago series by melusine10, but seas between us braid hae roar’d by kareliasweet

have you watched any of the hannibal films?: yeah all of them except manhunter! i grew up watching silence of the lambs because my mom loved it and i went thru a big edward norton phase as a teen so i’ve seen red dragon like 10 times

have you read the thomas harris books?: no and i’m not going to lmao #fakefan

favorite murder tableau: if we’re talking just hannibal’s- the judge. if we’re talking Murder Bad But Kinda Pretty like in general probably the mushroom people or the totem

favorite blood spill: will imagining hannibal while he beats randall to death or The Gutting of Will Graham

what’re some of your headcanons?: - will is good at shibari (backed up in canon: his fishing knots, the firefly man’s full body hishi karada harness) - hannibal rarely listens to modern, non-classical music but he’s a björk fan and he saw one of her chapel performances during the vespertine era and was Moved - will listens to classic rock (zeppelin, the doors, pink floyd) with some classic country (patsy, merle, johnny) and blues (billie, muddy, bessie) thrown in. he’s also a sucker for early/mid-90s college rock/alternative/grunge - will plays the piano (because of the piano in his living room) and the harmonica (because he’s country white trash); he’s kind of shit tho - hannibal fell for will somewhere between “my thoughts are often not tasty” and “you won’t like me when i’m psychoanalyzed” (love at first sight! at last sight! at ever and ever sight!!!) - will’s circumcised, hannibal isn’t 🤪 - hannibal’s a gemini!!!! adaptable, creative, intelligent, outgoing, impulsive, etc - will’s an aquarius!!!!! analytical, a loner, temperamental, unique, compassionate, etc - will’s mom was jewish go read my fic about it https://archiveofourown.org/works/26774326 - hannibal is an agender man (tbh i think of this as canon, it’s just unstated/undefined) - hannibal can speak russian, spanish, and a teensy bit of portuguese in addition to the other languages we know he speaks (lithuanian, english, french, italian, japanese) - will speaks limited amounts of french; he learned it as a kid in louisiana - ED TW will sometimes has a Difficult relationship with food due to food instability by the way of poverty as a kid and goes through periods where it’s hard to keep himself fed, but hannibal is so good for him in that way because he keeps him from going hungry 😓 (yes this is me projecting but also it makes SENSE) - hannibal typically bottoms but THEY DEFINITELY ARE BOTH VERS and will never stops being surprised by how much he loves catching a dick. every time is like religious experience. okay? okay - they’re also both very kinky and switches but tbh.... will was made to Dom hannibal like that’s the reason he exists he could drag that old bitch around by a leash and hannibal would be in heaven HANNIBAL WOULD CALL HIM SIR - the first time they have sex hannibal comes like immediately but he isn’t embarrassed because he’s hannibal fucking lecter and hannibal lecter doesn’t get embarrassed - i have a hc for their favorite sex positions but i’m not gonna put that here because i don’t want yall calling me crazy any more than you probably already do but if you wanna know just DM me all i do is think about them fucking it’s a curse - okay no more dirty stuff abigail called hannibal “dad” on more than one occasion and it was half-joking but it also felt comfortable to her; she never thought to call will “dad” because he’s a weirdo and never knew her as much as he knew his idea of her - hannibal taught her to play piano at the cliff house - beverly is pansexual!!! - brian and jimmy kissed one time when they were drunk and they NEVER talk about it EVER - chiyoh is straight probably. i know, i know, everyone says she’s a lesbian and if she’s a lesbian to you that’s awesome! she’s a lesbian! but idk i just think she’s SO fucking straight and tbh i mourn bc that’s my wife. she could MAYBE be bicurious... - chiyoh is non-monogamous and doesn’t do serious relationships, she doesn’t like the idea of being tied to one person ever since she left the lecter castle - she helped hannibal and will escape after The Fall; she told hannibal she would continue to watch over him and i think she did, she got them a boat and got them the fuck out of there - MOLLY IS DOING SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT WILL. SHE’S SO GLAD SHE GOT OUT OF THAT WHEN SHE DID. she has a good, long talk with alana and finds out all the shit about him and hannibal that will never told her (and it was a lot), gets drunk and burns all his shit, and then washes her hands of the whole thing; moves to a different state, gets a girlfriend, and never thinks about will again

okay i’m capping it there or i’m never gonna stop!! i’m not tagging anyone cuz i think everyone has done this by now lmao but if you’re a mutual who hasn’t and you want to just do it and say i tagged you!! mwah!!!!

[shirtlesssammy]

5x05: Fallen Idols

Hey all! Welcome to Hate Watch Week! We’ve picked the best of the worst and are recapping them all week. These are our personal choices, and I’m sure they all (*but one*) have redeeming qualities, we just see the bad more than the good. Enjoy our snark  --and join in if you want :) (And if you’re still trying to guess our hiatus theme, this episode doesn’t count.) 

Then:

Angst-a-thon!

Now:

We meet Jimmy and his pal, Cal, both race car enthusiasts. Well, enthusiasts for one sports car: James Dean’s Porsche 550 Spyder. While Jimmy runs to get the camera, Cal sits in the car, ready to start the “Little Bastard”. Only, the air gets frosty and the car radio flickers on. We hear a crash and Jimmy heads back to the garage to find Cal’s head smashed into the jagged edge of the convertible’s windshield. 

Sam and Dean are on the case! Sam wants to know why this case is so important --what with the devil and apocalypse and all. “This is what we’re doing, okay?” Dean insists. Dean highlights that they’ve been away from each other for a while (*Ahem* maybe I don’t like this episode as much because the last two episodes were just Dean and Cas having fun times together? IDK. 5x03 and 5x04 were a wild ride that I watch over and over again.) 

THE HORROR:

They arrive at the local cop shop as FBI agents Bonham and Copeland. The local sheriff shows them the video “evidence” that Cal’s good buddy Jim killed him. The brothers are less than convinced.

The sheriff applied Occam's Razor, and done and done. 

The brothers want to interview Jim anyway. He tells them what he heard from the house: tires squealing, glass breaking. The car killed Cal. It’s cursed. Jim mentions that it was “Little Bastard” that did it, and Dean’s eyes light up like a little boy at Christmas. OoooohhhHHHHooo. Dean and cars and, well, don’t tell me he never had a crush on James Dean. We all have had a crush on James Dean. Sam “I can’t be any more straight” Winchester has no flippin’ clue what’s going on. Dean insists they check out the car. Bby boy. 

They head to the car, and Dean takes a moment. Sam asks for some exposition. Dean explains that after James Dean died, the mechanic bought the wreckage and fixed the car. 

The car fell on him, and death continues to follow the car wherever it goes (Ugh, I just went down a rabbit hole of what happened to the car and am now in a weird spiral of remembering how much I loved James Dean as a teen and how much Rebel Without A Cause meant to me. I’m not 90 years old. What a weird flex for a 1990’s kid to experience. But also not, since Dean’s right there with me, right?) 

Anyway, to really confirm if the car was James Dean’s, they’ve got to match the engine number. Dean heads under the car to confirm, begging the car to not hurt him first. Dean takes his sweet ass time being nervous and writing down the engine number, but he makes it out alive. He tasks Sam with tracking down all the owners.

While Dean hangs at a bar, Sam discovers the car is a fake. 

Meanwhile, a nerdy man reflects on his day at his desk when the air gets frosty and he hears a creaking behind him. He turns and utters, “Oh my god, it’s you. You’re dead. You’re supposed to be dead.” Is it a long lost wife? An old rival? Nope. It’s a growling Abraham Lincoln. He chokes the nerd man until he becomes a victim of the blood cannon. Better angels of our nature, my ass. 

The agents meet the sheriff at the crime scene. They remark that there’s nothing strange about the victim dying of a gunshot wound where there’s no gun, no gunpowder, no bullet. Awkward. The brothers demand a reasonable explanation from the sheriff. He hunkers down and whispers, “Professional killer.” He’s thinking this is a Michael Clayton-type thing. And I love it because that’s the limit of his imagination. Sam and Dean know better but only because they live in the fringe of this world where monsters are real. 

Sam and Dean head to interview the victim’s maid, Consuela Alvarez. She’s very distressed, and can only speak Spanish. 

Sam pulls out his freshman Spanish to save the day. I only remember “Donde esta el baño?” Good job, Sam! The killer was a tall man with a long black coat and a beard. And he wore a hat. A tall hat. Dean cracks the code: A stovepipe hat like Abraham Lincoln. DEAN BEAN, so street smart he doesn’t even realize how book smart he is. Sigh. “Abraham Lincoln killed Mr. Hill,” Consuela confirms. 

The brothers continue to research. Dean watches the car video frame by frame until he finds one frame of a blurred red coated figure ---and INSTANTLY guesses that it’s James Dean ---but like Jim Stark James Dean. It’s not like James Dean wore the damn red coat outside of that movie role, lol. (Sidenote: Fun fact: Fry from Futurama’s coat is modeled after that red coat.) 

Sam realizes that they’re dealing with famous ghosts that are killing their fans. (Sidenote: I hope Misha Collins never dies.) The brothers wonder why these ghosts are haunting Canton, Ohio. They do more research. 

The brothers head to the Canton Wax Museum. They marvel at all the random wax figurines (and Sam is taller than Lincoln? Hmmm. They’re the same height. #Borisisanerd) Dean makes fun of Gandhi and Sam defends him, but uh, nope, Sam, nope. 

The museum curator shows up and the brothers introduce themselves as reporters for Travel Magazine. They’re writing an article on “how totally non-sucky wax museums are.” The curator points out that this place is unique. He points to Lincoln and tells the boys that’s actually Lincoln’s hat. Yep, he’s got real items from all the dead guys. 

He’s going to make wax museums hip again. And OMG Sam’s little thumbs up in response. STOP. 

Later, Sam loads up on salt rounds and walks in on Dean talking to Bobby about him. Dean gets off the phone fast and dismisses Sam’s questioning about the call. Dean’s not 100% with Sam yet. They head out to finish the case. 

At the wax museum Dean starts poking around. Let the tomfoolery begin!

Sam hauls out a metal trash can which they can use to torch all the priceless, one of a kind objects. (History-fan me cringes.) While he’s doing an ultra-close-up examination of Lincoln, the doors slam shut. Suddenly, Gandhi is on him! Gandhi is strong, he’s fast, and he’s out to kill. Dean torches Gandhi's watch and Sam’s attacker winks out. 

The next day, Sam mulls over the case in the motel room. Ghost Gandhi's quick disappearance has him troubled. He didn’t flame out like most ghosts, and he seemed almost zombie hungry. Sam thinks the hunger is uncharacteristic given Gandhi's tendency towards fruitarianism. (WWMGD? What would monster Gandhi do?) Dean dismisses Sam’s concerns, and Sam tells him that hunting together isn’t working. Dean doesn’t trust him. More than that, Dean’s trying to stick to their old patterns with the older brother telling the younger brother what to do. 

“Before didn’t work,” Sam tells him. That old dynamic chased Sam off into Ruby’s arms. “You’re gonna have to let me grow up.”

Dean’s phone rings. It’s the local cops, calling about another terrible incident. 

The Sheriff is…utterly at a loss with this next one. Dean and Sam head into the station to interview two teen girls. They tearfully recount the “horrible” “way horrible” disappearance of their friend who was kidnapped earlier by…Paris Hilton. 

Dean and Sam tick the obvious boxes. Paris Hilton isn’t dead, so they’re not after a ghost. Sam suits up in scrubs to do a detailed autopsy of one of the prior corpses. He pulls out two strange seeds from one of the victim’s stomachs. 

Sam fills Dean in on the excessive blood loss he discovered (something was feeding) and the seeds. The seeds are unusual, and he takes them back to the motel. There, he discovers that the seeds were indigenous to a forest in Europe, and the forest was ruled over by a god, Leshi. Leshi can take on any form and feeds on his followers. Dean hand waves the shapeshifting explanation for the audience by asking, “So how's he doing it? What, he touches James Dean's keychain and then morphs into James Dean?” Thank you, Exposition Dean!

The Winchesters arrive back at the Wax Museum, this time bearing a nice sharp axe. In a creepy closed exhibit they find the victim and…Paris Hilton. She (He?) takes out Dean and Sam quickly. When they wake a little while later, they’re tied to the fake trees in the exhibit. 

Leshi sharpens a blade slowly, excited to do the sacrificial ritual correctly this time. He explains that he’s settled in this town to stuff his face full of worshippers arriving at the wax museum. With the apocalypse nigh, there’s no reason to diet! 

Leshi grouses about the poor quality of worshippers these days. Dean fights whining with snark, and Leshi tells him that he worships somebody - his dad. “Poor little Dean. All you ever wanted was to be loved by your idol.” They fight and Sam breaks free and hacks off Leshi’s head.

The next day, we learn that the victim they rescued is going to recover. And even better? The bumbling Sheriff is putting out an APB on Paris Hilton. 

At the car, Dean admits his own culpability in bringing about the apocalypse, when he broke the first seal. He apologizes for being preoccupied with the wrong things. Sam responds with the hero speech with which we’re so familiar. “We gotta just grab onto whatever's in front of us, kick its ass, and go down fighting.” Dean’s on board. Hell, he’s more than ready to move forward. He hands Sam the keys to Baby and they roll off to the sweet sounds of Jeff Beck's “Superstition." D’awwww.

These Quotes are Hot:

We’re not your typical cops

Death follows this car around like exhaust

Christine is fiction, this is real

I'm gonna make wax museums hip again

Four score and seven years ago, I had a funny hat

You’re not the first god we've met, but you are the nuttiest

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[tellywoodtrash]

do you think there’s any way sanjivani writers could clean up this (ridiculously big) mess they’ve made? I think they could possibly redeem sid’s character with some major work and time but I feel like nothing could bring back asha. idk the more I think about how they ruined such a wholesome show in such a short span of time the angrier I get. the audience was so happy why would they do this? Sanjivani had gained a good following too. If we wanted nonsense drama we’d watch shows like KZK 😒

I honestly have no idea why they did this. Truly and genuinely no idea. Like even the outta nowhere trauma was acceptable, but this current plot is just....... unfathomable. TRPs were holding steady, but let’s see what effect this week’s trash plot has on them (they’ll be out on Monday, I think, coz of the Diwali weekend.)

Sid is still redeemable, because as hurtful as all this is to Ishani, he’s still being the compassionate person he is as an established character (just this time, it’s to the point of self-sacrificial dumbassery); but I really don’t get why they’d ruin Asha like this. They should have brought in Chandni as a whole different character (maybe an old acquaintance/relative of Ishani’s from Chandigarh or something) if this was the route they wanted to go. This is just dumb as all fuck, to make a character like Asha who’s been genuinely supportive of Ishani’s feelings for Sid from Day 0 to suddenly sweep in and poach him just coz she managed to fall pregnant with some whole other dude.

[cptsrogers-archive]

i need this in length posted here but i found it digging through some old posts. the original blog moved or deleted, so i had to dig through the wayback machine to find it. posted uncut in it’s entirety for all to enjoy

THAT ONE TIME I SAW CHRIS EVANS’ BACK SWEAT, AND ALSO, NEUROSCIENCE

So a week or so ago when I was on the east coast, in a moment of extreme weakness, I went to see the Avengers exhibit at Times Square. It was awesome, I somehow charmed a really sweet employee — ahem, operative — into giving me their rad as hell SHIELD beret, I bought Ellen like sixteen souvenirs (okay, two) — but that is not what I’m here about. (Ask me about the Cap t-shirt I got. Please. Oh my god. Ask me.)

What I’m here about is, unsurprisingly, the Captain America portion of exhibit.

The experience is immersive, all set up so you feel like you’re in SHIELD archives or the like. The Cap section includes the VitaRay (complete with a cameo by the salt stains from, you guessed it, Chris Evans’ back sweat), the rescuing-Bucky leather jacket, some seriously exclusive trading cards I Coulson’d all over, the Avengers uniform, and, endearingly, a section where you can test your strength against Steve’s. There’s also a little portion by the VitaRay that explains the changes Steve’s brain went through after they administered the serum. Being the massive bag of science trash that I am, this is where I spent most of my time.

The info graphic basically told me what we already know: that the serum enhances everything you had going for you before. So Steve’s brain is smarter and faster, the neurons have a longer life span, the hippocampus — that’s your memory storage — is nice and healthy; whatever. But then they said that the part of Steve’s brain that increased the most in mass and synaptogenesis was the amygdala. And I promptly lost all control over my feelings.

Cut bc this is about to get really gnarly. It’s science time, kiddos.

Let me prime with some obvious and not-so-obvious: neurons are brain cells. When they connect, there’s a space between them called the synapse, wherein the neurons can communicate. It might sound weird, but certain parts of your brain can certainly change in mass and size depending on how much you use the neurons and synapses there, because if you don’t use neurons/synapses, they will naturally slough away and die over time. For example, a young person’s hippocampus is usually healthier and larger than an older person’s, or the hippocampus of a person with, I don’t know, some kind of degenerative symptom like dementia.

Simply put, the amygdala is the part of your brain where you feel emotion. It’s also the part of the brain where you connect an emotion to an object or a face. So when Steve looks at Stark Tower and bitches to himself, what an ugly goddamn building, it’s his amygdala working. Similarly, when Steve looks at Peggy and feels that awful rush of sorrow-happiness-regret, it’s his amygdala lighting up. Same for when he feels sympathy and rescues a cat out of a tree, or feels a sense of duty and stays back to help clean up after dinner.

So what does it mean that Steve’s amygdala is bigger and more active post-serum? How does that change his day-to-day life?

The answer’s pretty easy: more connectivity literally means that Steve just feels more. Needless to say, Steve is already a bleeding heart. His main priority is putting his own needs last. His selflessness is unreal. And so after the serum this could only have increased. Steve probably feels an amplified joy at everyday things — he might get a smidge happier when someone dishes him up with a big burger if he’s really hungry, and he might laugh a little harder at one of Nat’s Old Man Rogers jokes than he would have in 1938. Steve probably wouldn’t even notice it, not really. His good moods would just feel even better. All the same, having your emotions turned up a few notches has a downside too.

You can probably see where this is going.

When something hurts now, it just hurts even more. It’s bad enough to watch your lifelong best friend fall to a horrible death; it’s probably a lot worse when your amygdala is just as super as the rest of you. When Steve feels anything post-serum he feels it in a way that’s probably very immediate and raw and uncontainable. I’d try to get shitfaced after an ordeal like that, too.

So go ahead and have a fun time applying this line of thought to all the pain that Steve’s felt. Thanks, Avengers exhibit. Fun for the whole family.

And what about Steve’s self-sacrificial streak? Obviously this too must have grown. I think there’s a pretty good way of looking at that, if you’ll suspend your disbelief with me: before the serum, Steve jumped on the grenade, a knee-jerk reaction, because he knew it was the right thing to do and the right way to keep his unit safe. He didn’t really feel a lot about it. He yelled for everybody to get back, and then he curled himself up and screwed his eyes shut and was ready to die right there. He didn’t, you know, shed a single tear of pain over it, or have to obviously fight down the rising panic as death rushed up to meet him.

But after the serum, when Steve knows he has to put the plane in the water, the terror’s plain as day on his face. He’s sad and scared and he’s about to die alone. He reaches out to a voice in the snow and tries not to panic.

Idk; acting choices, the drama of the moment, etc. But it’s also totally fair to say, imho, that after the serum Steve just can’t keep it in so easy — because he’s scared, and because he’s also completely 100% torn up over the idea of millions dying because he couldn’t save them. His guilt is heavier. His sense of duty is bigger. But his sorrow matches tenfold.

tl;dr, Post-serum, there’s a war inside of Steve. His heart’s always been too big but now it’s fit to burst. And maybe it’s an advantage, at least tactically — congratulations to Stark and Erskine, I guess, bc even if it was unknowingly, they weaponized not only Steve’s body and mind, but also the one part of him that was never supposed to change. They weaponized his heart. And it sure is convenient to have a soldier who is now guaranteed to jump on the grenade every single time.

[thisisbellarke-blog]

crying in three different languages

ATTENTION! SPOILERS!

made yourself warned

5x12 was the worst and the best episode of the season 5 at the same time. i have a lot of things to discuss because my heart is in pain.

one day ago, i made some of final predictions and think i could throw all of that in a trash cause it’s useless now.

WORST PARTS

1- seeing clarke suffering is the worst thing for me. She suffered because of bellamy and lexa in the same damn episode and she is suffering the pression of letting her child be a commander, letting her fight in the war. she is betraying her old friends/family for a girl that is risking her life in battle full of losses. clarke deserves better

2- kane is possibly dead. some people saying that he is alive and already confirmed in season 6 but others are saying that he is fucking dead, idk. kane is such an important character in the show. jason can’t let him just die! it is not fair for the fans, for ABBY! i’m really sad about this and I hope he is alive.

3- the meeting between clarke and raven. jason just made a horrible mistake with their meeting. It was supposed to be something beautiful and amazing but we received something with guns and hate! Jason broke a wonderful friendship of years between these girls.

4- backing to the number one of this topic, madi was talking to clarke about lexa and how clarke LOVED her. I’m a bellarke shipper and i should be happy with this but clarke really suffered with the hard truth. now it’s time to let lexa’s soul free. rest in peace heda

5- indra was another character that suffered a lot in this episode because of gaia who was shot. by now, she isn’t dead yet but she is almost dead, so when the time comes, it is going to be painful.

6- echo beating on clarke made me feel bad, angry and sad because, ITS CLARKE! DO NOT TOUCH THE PRINCESS OF THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!

BEST PARTS

1- “MY BROTHER, MY RESPONSIBILITY”! guysssss, this was one of the best scenes in the season so far! octavia almost sacrificied herself for her brother but echo did something good (finally) and saved her life. the blake’s are reunited again and i can see the humanity in octavia’s heart coming back! thank god

2- bellarke shippers must’ve stayed very happy when bellamy didn’t smiled back for echo! i know that i can’t put my hopes in bellarke at this time, cause there’s one episode left, but seeing bellamy doesn’t having the same afection for his GIRLFRIEND, it is so gratifying!

I’m so sorry if I wrote something wrong! i’m very sleepy cause it’s almost midnight but here’s some of my thoughts! i really hope you agree with me!

[choco-eclair]

Dissecting a Bulbasaur

His body is so perfectly shaped. The pattern CholyKnight posted is lovely and also looks simpler, but the body shape just isn’t the same. His sacrifice shall enable many other dolls to be born, in all manner of color with a wide variety of other plants in place of the bulb. Is this copyright infringement? Idk. I paid for the doll. I’m not planning on selling bootleg saurs. I just want to make myself a collection of seasonal saurs.

As a log of the experience, both to vent and to take notes on what order I’m going to re-combine this all in:

It turns out that, unlike the CholyKnight pattern, this one’s bulb is not an entirely separate part that was attached later. I’m ceasing bulb removal for the time being, for ‘twill cause too large a fluff spill before I am ready.

Originally I had a gag planned where I was going to pretend to inject this doll with some manner of sedative before the dissection, but I was too cheap to order those gag syringe pens for a quick joke. I now feel an odd sense of guilt for not sedating the doll before removing its left ear.

The ear has yet to be fully removed and there’s now a deep gouge down the sacrificial Bubla’s face. Every place where two seams meet is too hard to pick the stitches of from the outside of the doll.

I had planned on removing body parts one at a time and taking pics to help keep track of what went where, but I think I’m going to go back to removing the bulb before pulling out the stuffing and doing this inside-out.

Never mind. There is actually a piece of fabric in the space between the saur and the bulb that makes for extra stitches and by chance I missed seeing it earlier  Back to working on the face.

It really is causing me genuine guilt to take apart this doll that I purchased for the sole purpose of surgically destroying. I don’t have a 100% track record for taking care of my things--particularly as pertains to dust--but I always try to handle them with care. I will read books sooo uncomfortably in order to not crack their lovely spines. Normally, more likely than me being rough with a doll, I’m upset if it has a single loose stitch.

Like for real the degree to which this runs counter to my normal behavior is probably why I’m documenting my live reactions.

The chin has been split from the rest of the face! I now have a wide enough gap for fluff extraction.

I almost pitched the fluff, but then it occurred to me as I stood over the trash can that this is the exact right amount to stuff a bulba doll with and is totally re-usable.

I can kind of consider it like reincarnating the soul of the sacrificial bulba in the first of his progeny. Now I feel a little less guilty about his death.

The saur is now devoid of guts.

There is no pellet pouch inside this doll. I bought weighted pellets specifically to be able to weigh down a bulba doll, yet this one is doing just fine without any added weight.

Whatever. I still have them on hand for projects that warrant it. I can think of various sitting doll patterns that would benefit from a little junk in their trunk to prevent tipping.

Looking at the inside of the doll, I can see so clearly what order a lot of this was stitched in that I’m frankly embarrassed I didn’t start off planning to turn the doll inside-out. My amateur status is showing.

Bulb pulp extracted. It appears the reason for the extra bit of fabric not fully seperating the bulb and saur was to create a perch by which something could anchor the top of the bulb in place so it wouldn’t become too spherical.

While storing all the stuffing out of reach of the cats, I discovered the location of my long lost polymer clay supplies.

-

ORDER OR OPERATIONS (for personal reference)

It looks like the chin and the front of the ears were attached to the face.

The back of the ears and back of the head were attached to one another prior to any full head assembly. (I suspect full head assembly is the final step.

The back and front of the ears are NOT combined before attaching them to the rest of the head.

-

The right back half of the head is sewn to the right half of the torso back, and the left back of the head and left torso back are sewn together.

The back of the head parts are then sewn along what I’m calling the spine seam.

If sewing the “bulb” on with the sewing machine, this step comes after you sew the spine.

-

The outer sides of the legs were sewed first to the back of the torso.

The inner sides of the legs were attached to the belly.

The belly and back were sewn together after.

The bottoms if the feet were also sewn on next with claws inserted between the fabric of this seem. Feet bottoms appear to be added after belly/back fusion.

-

Attaching the front of the head to the rest of the body looks like the final step.

-

IF recreating this bulb, the bulb with it’s little inner disk was probably attached prior to merging the back and belly, but the main purpose for dissecting the sacrificial bulba was to make bulbas with things like pumpkins and Christmas trees on it’s back. I will conserve knowledge of this disk-aided bulb as a data hoarder, but I don’t foresee needing it.

The disk has a different seam than the back and bulb, but is still attached to both. I guess the outer ring seam that only attaches the bulb and back is there to keep bits of the disk from being visible on the outside of the doll.

END OF ORDER

-

Frankly, the CholyKnight pattern where you just glue the bulb on and then sew it into place kinda looks like less hassle, although a bulb that I can secure with my sewing machine rather than my cruddy ladder stitches will probably be more secure, with a better hidden seam.

I just noticed this fabric is full of darts! That’s beautiful! Pretty sure a lot of factory sewing is more, like, sweat shop than automation and likely contains some elements that a human made this thing, but I still envisioned this doll lacking any markers. I took photos from so many angles while planning to recreate how this all fit together from visuals, but there’s daaaarts!

The head does not appear to have darts like the legs do, but the shape makes it pretty simple-looking. The chin seam lines up with the seam where the back and belly meet, and the ears for the front and back of the head line up, and the back of the head as a spine seam that lines up with the spine

Incidentally, think one of the things that made me like the shape of this doll better than the CholyKnight one is the chin piece, and separating the back entirely from the belly/legs. I’m sure I’ll kick mysely while sewing for not going with the simpler pattern, but I’m realizing the more attention I pay to the seams on dolls that breaking a shape up into more individual fabric pieces really makes a difference for how 3D the doll ultimately ends up.

I shall keep this in mind when it comes to making human heads for my characters.

Crud I need to buy some cheap scrap fabric to practice with if I’m gonna not follow any of the specific patterns available for chibi charas.

(No shade to her dolls tho. I love that she makes simple patterns for newbs like me and her Bulbasaur pattern is totally free, which is super kind.)

The ear finally came off! I have finally fully separated a single body part! \(^o^)/

I love these little extra white strips they added to each seam because it let me see what order things were sewn in, but it makes picking apart the seams--especially in places where two seams meet--so much more annoying.

I have successfully removed the face!

I also realized that the seam I split open down one side of the forehead went, um, too deep. I cut into the fabric a bit with my seam picker. But that’s okay! I still have the seam down the other side of the forehead, and I can use one side as a reference for where to cut and the other for how far down to sew

(I don’t know what this fabric is. It sort of reminds me of minky but the tag calls it “new fabric” and that tells me nothing. I hope the fleece I bought is similar enough. It doesn’t feel like swimsuit material in terms of elasticity, at least.)

Current dissection status: Face and chin have been fully detached from body. One ear is off but still combined. Half of the other ear is off. Being able to work both sides of the seam has definitely sped this up but there was a long delay while I studied those seams to try and figure out the order of everything.

After making it an early objective, I have finally separated the bulb and taken time to study the inside. There’s one cut of fabric for each tip at the top of the bulb, all of which have a bit pulled in on the center of each ‘leaf’ to help maintain the curved shape. A separate cone was cut at the top of the bulb.

Which, again, is me taking notes as a hoarding habit rather than any sincere desire to re-create the bulb. I do think it’s a neat design though. The cone and the disk anchor really did make for a nice final shape. As a very amateur plushie maker with three whole sushi dolls following someone else’s instructions to my name, I am blown away.

For the time being I think I’d rather see how the bulb pattern I already downloaded compares size-wise rather than fully take this bulb apart. I am, to reiterate, planning to sew saurs with things other than bulbs, and I already procrastinated since July or August or so on this dissection. Halloween is days away. At this point, the most important part is simply confirming I can size the Jack-O-Lantern pumpkin pattern  from CholyKnight’s bluba pack to match the size of this bulb.

By the way, shout out to people who make Jackbox TV streaming videos because that is the exact level of background noise to get me through this. It really doesn’t matter if I get too focused on a step and miss a bit from the video, but there’s enough comedic stuff happening that I’m entertained during the tedious parts of destroying this doll.

As an side, I do wonder how prepared I am to sew a Bulba doll in three days while also prepping for Nano. I haven’t really... um... sewn for like half a year or so. I got all the equipment before economic concerns saw me hold off on a lot of leisure purchases. I think I’m most likely in the clear now, so I started buying fabric again, but... well... ‘twill be interesting to see how this goes.

I only have one free day this weekend because I volunteered for overtime. I bet I’ll spend most of it on this project while otherwise squeezing in steps around work days. -.-

But I will have my Halloween Bulba before November!

Removing the stuffing and face from the doll has really helped detach me from the idea that I am murdering an innocent Bulbasaur. I still feel a tiny amount of guilt over killing him when some other kid might have loved him.

The butt has a dart!

I don’t need it because the shape of these parts is easy to line up, but I love this all the same.

Bulba had a dart in his butt.

While removing the belly, I destroyed the seam that the tag was sewn into. Immediately stopped what I was doing to throw it in the trash-trash. It wasn’t even worthy of the little trash cup I set up by my computer to drop thread into while I work.

I hate tags on dolls. Clothes tags are already annoying, but at least they’re hidden inside your shirt or whatever. Doll tags are unseemly, outward facing things, and even if you try to cut them off, you can still see the roots of the tag along the seam. Always. Forever.

I can’t describe how good it felt emotionally to throw out the entire tag, roots and all.

I never stopped to think about it, but I now realize that no doll I sew will contain tags. This is an incredible feeling. I’m going to have dolls of all my OCs and there will be no tags in them.

He lost his first foot!

The Jackbox TV players I was listening to referenced Bulbasaur as I dissected this Bulbasaur. Apparently it’s the favorite Pokemon of one of these guys. I am murdering his fave. I almost have the belly fully separated from the back.

Tum-tum has been separated from the back and all but one foot

I really don’t want to pick the feet apart, I can tell that a lot of this is symmetrical and I probably only need to dissect one front and back leg, but I’m also worried I’ll have a brain fart on how to piece it all together if I don’t trace myself a pattern part for literally every scrap of fabric.

Tum-tum is completely separate. I kinda want to go to bed and not bother with the feet.

Oh my god I’ve been picking this apart bit by bit for two hours wtf I didn’t realize I was this tired because it was that late..

The feet darts line up with not only the leg darts/seam, but also the toes <3. The toes even havae a dart for lining it up with the seam.

I know all the darts are there for whatever person in a Chinese factory sewed this, but it feels like they were actually trying to make it viable for me to reverse-engineer the sacrificial bulba.

(I threw out that accursed tag but it did note the doll was made in China. I saw that while I was trying to figure out wtf type of fabric this is.)

The inner side of the legs has some sort of mesh on the inside of the fabric that isn’t on any of the other cuts, even though this isn’t present on any other part of the fabric and the entire outside of the fabric looks identical. Would iron-on recreate this?

Speaking of iron-on, there’s sooo many machine-embroidered spots on the saur legs and face. I honestly wanna cry looking at how much machine embroidery is here when the rare chara plushie for a show I like has an iron-on face.

I’m not sure if I want to use my machine on this many spots. I don’t know if the CholyKnight bulba ebroidery file I got even coverse this many spots.

I checked and it not only does not cover this many spots but it definitely is not set up in a way such that I can fit it over this alternate fabric pattern. The eyes on hers are also a little more cutesy compared to the game-accurate ones on this doll.

...Well, my mind’s made up. I’m using applique for the spots. The goal is to eventually get the software to be able to design my own machine embroidery patterns, mostly for the sake of personalize face designs for characters. Maybe some day I’ll make embroidery patterns for bulbas. Until that day comes. applique gives me more ability to make the bulba spots appropriately holiday/season themed.

Okay seriously fuck the inner part of the leg. I hate this shape. One single side goes along the back leg seam, the foot, and the toes. And the toe dart on the piece I separated is tiny.

Never mind saving time and finger joint aches by only undoing half of the feet. I’m only undoing half of the feet so I can still eyeball the fully assembled feet and know wtf they’re meant to look like.

Two feet dissected. Good night.

[thegoldenavenger]

squeeful replied to your post “dont ask me about my peacock tony headcanons ”

do tell

this is entirely your fault i told you not to ask

i mean,, listen from a pre-iron man tony standpoint you gotta think a lot about how human social interaction changes (or doesnt change) with the introduction of wings and any bird-like behavior you wanna bring in (nesting, singing, dancing, etc) and whether or not each species of bird wings you use indicates which behaviors are imported over (eagles mate by having a TERRIFYING DEATH FALL in contrast some ducks have casual polyro lives)

in my MAXIMUM ANGST OVERLOAD au brightly colored feathers on guys aren’t seen as very uh, fashionable, at least in America where the model bird is still the bald eagle and other raptor species. (dull, earth colored feathers are like 50s Model Wife for women, flashier colors are seen as more of a girl thing, even if most women have to rely on pigment or dyes to achieve them) 

also, behaviors are less reliant on particular species of bird(b/c these people are all the same species just with *hand wavey* wings that look very similar to actual bird species..) and more on like, their cultural background. In general, birds court by dancing or flying. gifting a partner a collection or other gifts is also common, singing or poetry is less so. (similar to human dating: dancing, getting flowers or jewelry etc) because of human stereotyping, and the american focusing on birds of prey, acrobatics and flight are seen as more committed, romantic ways of courtship. though a little out-dated. most make do with gifts of jewlery or other collectible material. dancing and singing is seen as a little eccentric, though acceptable if youre not a local (intricate dances or courting displays/play battles are much much more common in places that arent america or england) the “hurtling through the air while kissing” isn’t a thing modern birds do outside of like, historical drama and fantasy adventure movies. 

uh, generally birds also do threat displays when angry or scared, which is ruffling feathers to make them seem bigger, etc etc. preening can be a nervous action, to self sooth, or because theyre comfortable or proud. if you have display feathers (like most pheasants and peafowl) than uh, displaying those is often seen as a little shameless or embarassing regardless of circumstance. pheasants, peafowl, turkeys, roosters and some other species dont just use their feathers to attract a mate, but also to intimidate rivals or scare away predators, like other birds they’re just making themselves look bigger but because they’re so brightly colored and ahah endowed, it’s seen as a little more indecent then, say, an eagle’s neck feathers poofing out. 

anYWAYS tony as a rebellious 80s metal head rocks the peacock feathers as much as he can (he wears crop tops and leather pants and body glitter fucking,,,, sue me). however, as soon as he starts giving presentations of his research and his robotics etc and wanting to be taken seriously he gets an abrupt change of heart since, practically, his extravagant tail feathers are just. in the way. always. 

if you look at a peacock, their tail fan base is like,, covered in a shield? that starts at like. the base of their neck/their shoulders?

i think tony would have the whole shebang, the shield, tail feathers, wings. he just, has a lot of feathers. most people have the wings and the tail. tonys just got. a lot of feathers.

obviously in full display the fan would be impractical in day to day life for a human. 

and even just lying down it would be unweildy

also...... look how ridiculous they look from behind

tell me.. a human wouldnt see that and make fun of them?????  (dont ask me how this works anatomcally with a bipedal upright human.. im still working that out. so far ive got the tail raising creating an automatic response to crouch forward to fan the tail fully out which is a bit ridiculous)

anyways the point is, the feathers are a burden and tony is an emotional kid so his tail feathers are more a distraction than he wants. he’s gotta learn how to control them early on, and also weather through everyone making fun of him implying that he wouldnt be good at business because peacocks are full of themselves. (his dad’s a peacock, but hey, that doesnt stop anyone) 

his wings are often an afterthought and more suited to controlled falling and giving an extra burst of height to his jumps than flying, not that he does a lot of that. he eventually learns how to use his tail and wings to add weight to his presentations, not block what he needs to show, etc

fastforward... to the jericho incident where his wings arent damaged but his tail is. also, probably a lot of literal feather pulling when he wasn’t being cooperative,, which is the Unnecessary Whump factor. like, just casual bullying where he’s trying to walk somewhere and someone will step on or yank his tail feathers out because they’re being too ostentatious 

if theyre feeling particularly handsy and mean probably they pull out the little shield feathers i was talking about, not to mention all the shoving around and falling tony does they get ruffled on their own. 

akdsfkas idk man, when i headcanon him as having parrot wings or raven wings i dont even really go for the whole “wing damage from the bomb” most people do, because the arc reactor is gonna make wing powered flight a nonstarter anyways, but when i h/c him as a pheasant with those pretty tail feather. they get pulled. and a peacock has so much more feathers!!! so much more!!!! 

i just? and listen, back to young tony for a minute, who partied a lot and his train probably got stepped on a lot anyways. so, like, he’s used to that, and his teen years have a lot of pictures of him with ratty feathers before they molt again. but after becoming CEO he learned how to maintain his feathers (magazine covers blowing up pictures of his ratty train with the caption WHO PULLED THIS OUT OF THE TRASH can only be smoothed over with PR so many times) 

but, but just, tony, in the cave, hunched over trying to protect the battery magnet, with people stepping on his train feathers on purpose and just to make fun of him, people grabbing fistfulls of the indigo feathers on his shoulders and yanking to get him to go in whichever direction, and the arc reactor is a priority so whatever disinfectant and bandages they have, yinsen puts there, and he tries his best for the little wounds on tony’s back but they probably get dirty and scabbed up, 

and building the equivalent to the suit and getting half caught in the penultimate explosion probably cauterizes some of the patches, so while some of the feathers will grow back it wont ever be even.

uh, peacock wings actually arent that brightly colored in comparison. theyre brown and black and nicely patterned but not ostentatious and i think most people are not very well informed about different types of bird wings and when tony comes back they assume he’s Changed His Look on purpose. and he’s just, very conscious of the half grown in feathers and he’s got some trauma about his train feathers so he keeps those trimmed and develops a sort of habit of picking the shield feathers on his back so theres no uneven down growing

honestly, without the blue and green train, he looks like a different bird. 

he’s still got the reactor so his sternum/wishbone would still be super unstable and weak and not able to support wing powered flight. im SURe there’s a time while avenging where he’s caught without his flight prosthetic (iron man armor) and has to glide down from somewhere high because he’s falling or someone else is falling and he’s lucky his chest doesnt cave in but he does create stress fractures or something that is not particularly healthy and requires him getting Medical Attention Soon Please, and having to recover from that. 

also with the chest situation he’d have such a tough time sleeping b/c he cant sleep on his chest but wings make it difficult to sleep on his back. 

so, talking about interpersonal relationships, with his embarrassing display feathers taken out of the equation, and unassisted flight not in his ability the only thing he has to fall back on is to give people things. which, you know, was always he modus operandi but with the choice taken from him it kind of stings and most people miss take it because tonys a peacock so obviously if he likes someone he’d be annoyingly obvious about it (giant rabbit???) 

conveniently,, the brown and yellows and greys of his wings match the iron man red and gold better than the aqua and blue and greens of his tail. 

possibly, the avengers do a mission with some aliens or gods or something and iron man does something incredibly sacrificial but also saves a lot of lives so in thanks he gets healed, and when his feathers start growing in, it looks like whatever magic healed him went “blue and green? uh, no???”

but tony wakes up with full plummage again which is.. difficult for him, since he’d have to adjust to it, and of course everyone thinks he died his feathers iron man red and gold just For The Aesthetic, and he still has the whole, plucking issue,

so.. theres, that??

[sitaaronkepaar]

You should blame Jane Austen for that. Lol. Grumpy one being soft for the sunshine one is totes one of my fave tropes, I enjoy all iterations of it. I enjoy Ronakshi's chemistry and tbh that's all I look for in a tellywood show. My bar is literally on the floor bc everything turns to trash eventually.

I never thought I'd ever see Prerna being referred to as a badass. It's just really strange lol. All I remember is crying, crying and more crying and ofc telling everyone else how to live their lives (to be fair, she was a mother and grandmother, so it was kinda her job). Maybe it's bc I'm older, I remember the show differently. Ofc I never rewatched it so my memory could be wrong but I never saw much of a difference between her or Parvati or Tulsi or any other female character of the time. Ultimately all tellywood FL's morph into one mahaan interfering detective character anyway, anything different or distinctive only lasts for about 100-150 eps or so.

I agree with you that Sona is way too goody goody. Whether I'd be friends with someone is not something I judge a character by, but I get where you're getting at. Even her flaws aren't deep character flaws, they're superficial semi flaws like being too nice, self sacrificial and naive. It's like when they ask you about your flaws in interviews and you're like "Oh, I'm too hardworking." Shut up, that's not a flaw lol. She was too saccharine in the beginning, but I think things changed after she took a stand with her mother. At least she's not a doormat. I have skipped whole episodes of this show(fashion show drama 🤮), so I don't have much of a handle on Sona's character yet, she's graceful, strong, morally upright and self sacrificing (like all mahaan FLs lol) from what I've gathered so far. The only thing I really like about her is how graceful and level headed she is, esp when it comes to love.

Frankly, I find neither Sona or Rohit compelling on their own. The writing of this show is a bit shoddy, which makes it hard to connect with these characters. Plus Ronakshi seem to be moving at the speed of a bullet train which is probably why you aren't feeling them. Their understanding wale scene came out of nowhere, esp since 2 eps before them Rohit fully seemed to believe Sona was capable of sabotaging someone like that. So I don't really understand why he suddenly decided to reveal his past to her when he hadn't even told his closest family yet. I get it's supposed to be their ~connection~, but this could've been written better. 🤷 It's still early days though, and this show does have its moments of brilliance so I'm willing to stick around for a while to see if it fulfils its potential or not.

P.S: I would totes be friends with someone like Sona. She seems like someone you'd want in your corner in the hour of need! Look how she's going out of her way to help Rohit and he's been a dick to her. She seems like she'd have my back lol. In the same vein, I'd never be friends with any of my fave characters, they're all a bit pyscho. Idk what that says about me. 😂

I think Nishi and YK are my OTP for KHKT. I like them, even more than Sona and Rohit, the lead couple of the show.

Sona and Rohit, while cute and all, seem kinda superficial to me, despite all the ‘understanding’ vaale scenes given to them. Something is missing here, which I can’t quite put my finger on, and its kinda weird because Karan and Dipika are playing these characters with such earnest and sincerity. 

Maybe its the fact the Sona reminds me a lot of OG Prerna from KZK1. I really, really love OG Prerna, but I didn’t much care for her romance with either Anurag or Bajaj (though AnuPre’s was an all transcending love).

Nishi and YK on the other hand, have their flaws and weaknesses, but its just heartwarming how they move past these issues, and stick together. Their relationship seems to have a genuine foundation of respect and affection. 

Most importantly, they are the ‘realistic’ couple of the show. The serious yet teasing nature of their relationship is so appealing. Also, Tanaaz and Waseem portray these characters with such mature and organic chemistry. 

This is the kind of relationship one wants to grow into, one looks up to. Its not boring, but adorable. 

I hope they remain like this for the longer part of the show. 

(Honestly, considering it is Sikku ka show, my hopes are low. Everyone knows how YHM started so well, and what’s happened to it now. 🤐