#something I touched on in my fic was the fact that Marlene tries to say she understands

[ohraicodoll]

I love that in the Podcast they specifically said they wanted to frame the hospital fight not as this action packed scene, but as sad. Because Joel has completely disassociated. He’s checked out because trauma can do that to a person, let’s you separate what’s happening. They said this is him burning his soul for this one girl. He’s doing what needs to be done in the same way Marlene did but while her focus was humanity, his focus is just Ellie. It’s tunnel vision. He kills anyone who is a threat and even if they drop their weapon, they could change their mind and still shoot him and then Ellie dies. He doesn’t kill the doctor until he becomes a threat by wielding the scalpel.  And them saying Marlene actually signed her death warrant the moment she said “let me go” because it meant she planned to try and survive her wound. There would be a tomorrow and in that tomorrow, she would try and come after them. So of course she had to die because her living meant Ellie wouldn’t be safe. 

[hecksee]

What The Hell Happened

As always credit to @lumosinlove for these wonderful characters.  Much credit to @wonder-womans-ex and @peggyrose19 for helping me with this fic

Read on  AO3 here

Luke didn’t know what happened last night. One minute he was at a party, the next his world had been turned upside down. All he knew was that it’s all Saint’s fault. 

***

It was dark and crowded and the beach was full of people. Luke was standing off to the sidelines, sipping the cheap beer that had been shoved into his hand when he’d arrived. Though he would never admit it, his eyes had been watching Saint since the moment he’d arrived. The blond had been sticking to Sirius all night. Suddenly, Saint turned his head and his eyes met Luke’s. Luke looked down into his drink embarrassed; when he looked up Saint was still looking at him. The hallow winked at him then resumed his conversation with Sirius; slinging his arm around the latter boy’s shoulders, laughing at something he’d said. 

***

He was pulled back to reality by rapping on his window. Saint was sitting on the windowsill. “Gonna let me in Tweedle?”

“Since when have you asked to be invited in?”

Saint laughed as he pulled himself through the window. “Since I tried being polite for a change.”

Luke laughed bitterly. You sure weren’t polite last night. “That’s out of character.”

“What’s wrong with you today?” Saint made his way into Luke’s room and plopped down onto his bed.

“What was wrong with you last night?” Luke retorted.

***

“Can I borrow him for a minute Remus?” Saint walked up, interrupting Saint and Remus’ conversation about sailing. 

“Of course,” Remus smiled knowingly at Luke before wandering over the bonfire to sit next to Marlene. 

“How has your night been?” 

Luke looked at Saint. “What do you want?” “Getting right down to business, huh?” Saint murmured under his breath before grabbing Luke’s wrist. “Follow me.”

Saint led Luke away from the lanterns on the beach before whispering, “I’ve wanted to do this all night.” Their faces were almost touching before Saint leaned in and closed the gap between them. Luke let himself kiss back for a moment, before he realized what was going on and pulled away.

“I’m, you, fuck, I’m sorry I cant.”  Luke stared at Saint for a moment before running off, leaving Saint bewildered in the dark. 

***

“With me? You’re the one who kissed me and then ran off.” 

Luke threw his hands up in the air. “No I didn’t. You’re the one who kissed me. When you’re in a relationship? What the actual fuck Saint? I thought you were better than that?” “The fuck?” Saint furrowed his brows. “In a relationship? What relationship?” 

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about,” Luke ran his hands through his hair, exasperated. “The one with Sirius dumbass.” 

Saint rolled his eyes, “There is nothing going on with Sirius and I. You’re just another stupid god that doesn’t know anything about relations between hallows.”

“Don’t do that.” Luke laughed bitterly. “Don’t play coy like that. You clearly have something going on with him.” 

“No.” Saint was growing increasingly agitated. “There isn’t.”

“Bullshit.” 

“Ok.” Saint stood up from the bed and started walking towards Luke. “You’re gonna shut up for 2 seconds and listen to me talk, otherwise I'm going to make you." Luke swallowed. He shouldn't find that as hot as he did. He found himself nodding in agreement. 

Saint was in front of Luke now, their faces only inches apart. "There is nothing between Sirius and I. We used to have an arrangement." 

Luke found himself interrupting before he could think better. "What kind of arrangement?" 

Saint gently pushed Luke against the wall, the gesture more playful than annoyed like Luke had been expecting. "What did I say, Tweedle? But yes, an arrangement. Something like friends with benefits I guess. But as soon as I started falling for you I cut it off."

Luke smirked, "Just that irresistible huh?" 

"Oh shut the fuck up," Saint lightly hit Luke's shoulder. "As I was saying, there is nothing between Sirius and I. Fuck, he's practically my brother. Plus," Saint leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, his breath hot against Luke's ear. Luke found it hard to focus on anything else. "He might be head over heels for a specific R. Lupin." 

“The fuck?” Luke jolted his head back, smacking his head into the wall. “Ouch.”

“That was smart,” Saint smirked. 

“How do you know that?” 

Saint laughed, a sound that brought a smile to Luke’s face. “Well, we may have gotten drunk a few nights ago; causing him to confess his feelings for a certain brunet friend of ours. So,” he looked at the boy he’d pushed against the wall. “Believe me when I say, there is nothing going on between Sirius and I. Seeing as we both have other subjects of our affections.” Luke gulped, now acutely aware of the fact Saint’s body was pressed to his. “I’m gonna kiss you now, is that okay?” 

Luke nodded, his eyes sparkling eagerly. Saint leaned in, and connected their lips. It was sweet, slow, and everything Luke had ever wanted. Then Saint nipped at Luke’s bottom lip and Luke gasped into the taller boy’s mouth. The kiss turned hot and slick in an instant, Saint’s tongue sliding into Luke’s mouth. Saint gasped as Luke’s hands made their way into his hair. They kissed for what seemed like hours, until all the two of them could think of was each other. 

Afterwards, they were laying in bed, Saint’s head pillowed on Luke’s chest. “Did you really think Sirius and I were a couple?” Saint turned around so he was facing Luke. 

“Jesus,” Luke sighed. “Will you let that go?” 

“Never,” Saint smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Luke’s lips. Luke followed Saint’s lips, as if he didn’t want them to leave. “Hey Tweedle.” 

Luke’s eyes met Saint’s. “Yeah sweetheart?”

“Just,” Saint started to kiss down Luke’s neck. “For the record.” 

“What?” 

Saint gave him a shit eating grin. “You’re prettier than Sirius anyways.” Luke rolled his eyes and laughed before pulling Saint up for another kiss. 

[awanderingdeal]

Summer camp AU - Chapter 2 - Sirius

Hello, hello, welcome back to Gryffindor. This chapter finds us with Sirius. This one is a bit angsty again, but there’s also lots of happy points. I promise we will have some fun camp type stuff next chapter!

CW: Sirius does misgender Reg for most of this chapter in his internal monologue as he does not know that Regulus has changed his pronouns. It is not intentional and Sirius does switch pronouns both verbally and mentally as soon as he is aware. Just in case that makes anybody uncomfy. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you to my wonderful betas for catching all my 3am mistakes (and also, just my complete inability to grammar).

And finally, thank you to @lumosinlove for the creation of the sweater weather universe. It honestly is a light in my life. 

Fic Rating: T

For previous and future chapters see masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sirius was pulled from the depth of his thoughts by two short vibrations pulsing through his hands. He glanced down at his phone and felt the corner of his mouth pull up at the name, Mon Loup. Remus was always checking up on him. 

Are you okay? Is he there?

Sirius didn’t know how to answer the first question. He didn’t know how he was feeling. The last thing he had expected when they had gotten in the car that morning was to be seeing his brother's name next to his on the room allocations. His mind had spun through a rollercoaster of emotions: anger, guilt, joy, anger, confusion. Luckily, Remus had been there to notice the impending meltdown and had wrapped his arms around him and told him that it was going to be fine. And somehow Sirius had believed him. 

He took a minute to compose his reply, knowing that trying to lie to Remus about his mental state was futile.

I’m...coping. No, he’s not. No bags either. 

Sirius wished that Remus could be here with him. However, his boyfriend had just graduated with his BSN and was now a paid member of staff on the nursing team. Along with the extra responsibility came his own cabin. Sirius had insisted he went and settled in there. His phone buzzed again.

I told you, he’s probably just as worried about seeing you. He’s here, isn’t he? He’s more than just a product of your parents. 

Sirius hated when Remus was logical like that. He was right though, something must have changed. There was no way that his biological parents would approve of Regulus’ coming here. “Merde!” Sirius groaned, flopping backwards onto the bed. He’d been through this a thousand times with his therapist. He’d tried to take Regulus with him. Regulus hadn’t wanted to come. Besides, he was still a minor and there was no way he could have gotten the evidence to get Regulus out of there legally. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn't his fault. 

It’s not your fault, baby. You know that.

How did Remus always know? Sirius glanced at the time on his phone, 12.05. He worried about where Regulus was and if he wasn’t staying in this cabin, then had he found somewhere else to sleep? The big brother in him would never completely go. The backpack on the floor caught his eye. I might as well start unpacking, Sirius thought. 

The time passed quickly and soon the alarm that he'd set for 12.50 was sounding. He had managed to get all of his clothes into the drawers under the bed and pinned the photo of him and Remus to the wall. He’d tucked his drawing pad under the pillow. There was only one thing missing. 

Sirius took a deep breath, grabbing his smaller daypack and headed back to the main stage where they had been gathered before Dumo had dismissed them all. He was scanning the slowly forming crowd for the familiar features of his brother when a body barrelled into his back.

“Dude! I just saw your twin, I swear.” 

The voice belonged to James Potter. They had only met last year - at this very camp - but Sirius already felt like he had known him a lifetime. 

“Jeez, Potter. My ears,” Sirius moaned, shoving his friend lightly. “Attends...What did you just say?”

“Jeez,” James mocked Sirius’ acquisition of his boyfriend’s mannerisms. “There’s somebody here who looks exactly like you.” 

“Regulus.” Sirius gasped, his eyes darting over the crowd again.

“Who’s Reg-” James started and then his hand was hitting Sirius’ arm as realisation dawned on him. “Your brother.”

Sirius could only give a slow nod. 

“Do you need...I can tell him to stay away from you if you want?” James’ eyebrows knitted into a frown. 

This time Sirus shook his head quickly, “Non. No, I want to see him. I need to see him.” Sirius hadn’t even realised himself that was what he wanted until that moment. 

“Oh,” James said and turned abruptly to face the ever growing group of people. “He was just there, I swear. We can go find him.”

Sirius opened his mouth to reply when Dumo’s voice cut through the noise of the crowd, “Hello everyone, thank you for being back on time.” 

James gave a distressed noise and Sirius squeezed his arm reassuringly. He loved that his friend hadn’t even questioned his desire to find Regulus.  Sirius had wanted something and James was ready to make it happen. 

Sirius tuned back into Dumo’s instructions, “ - lunch until 14.00 and then we will begin with some icebreakers. Finally, this evening we will have an in depth tour of the camp followed by a game of capture the flag. Only so that you know how to play for when the campers come, of course. We won’t have a campfire tonight, I know many of you have travelled from afar and will want to get to bed early. But be prepared because I want all of you ready with your singing voices, tomorrow.”

James had apparently forgotten about his troubles because he was excitedly bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“Come on,” Sirius said, “Let’s go and eat. It’s not as if Regulus is going anywhere.”

The lunch hall was a chaos of noise and Sirius allowed himself to be swept up in it. The empty table that they found was soon filled. Lily arrived first pressing a kiss first to James' forehead and then Sirius'.

"Lily! I missed you so much. How did you find us?" James grinned.

Lily rolled her eyes, "darling, it has only been two hours since I last saw you. And how many other people have tie dyed their t-shirts?" 

James looked down at the purple, black and white swirls on his t-shirt proudly, causing Sirius to smile fondly. 

“Who are you sharing your cabin with?” Sirius asked, using his hands to compress the monstrosity of a sandwich that he had created before dipping it into his chicken soup. 

“That is so gross,” Lily grimaced at the action. “Now your lettuce is all soggy. And to answer your question, it’s Natalie. You know, Darcy. Tall, blonde, formidable. She’ll be over in a minute. Think she was just waiting for her boyfriend.”

As if on cue, Natalie appeared, placing her tray down next to Lily before rounding the table and wrapping her arms around Sirius and kissing his earlobe. He would have been startled had it been anybody else but he regularly received semi-threatening texts from her telling him to have Remus check his voicemails. “That is from your boyfriend. He said he misses you. Which is gross but I was bribed with cake.” Natalie said, gesturing to the two slices of cake on her tray. 

“Who’s the rookie?” James asked through a mouthful of food, looking at the red headed boy who had just sat down next to Kasey, Natalie’s boyfriend. 

The boy waved casually at the table, seeming very relaxed for a new counsellor, “I’m Alex. And technically, I’m not a rookie. Done a few camps down in Tampa, but I thought I’d join my brother, Finn, here at Queer camp this summer.” 

“Oh, I think I sa-" James began, but was interrupted by Lily’s squeal of excitement. 

"Marl! Dory!" Lily called across the hall attracting the attention of two girls. They made their way over seeing Lily’s wave, followed closely by two other counsellors. 

"Everybody, this is Marlene and her girlfriend, Dorcas. Marl was my little sister at college." Lily introduced them to the table. 

They both flashed a smile and Marlene titled her head towards the two timid looking boys behind them, "We said Ollie and Timmy here could sit with us. It’s their first year too." 

They all found a seat and the usual round of questions began. Despite Sirius' attempts to listen to where everybody was working in the camp, his mind was drifting to thoughts of his brother. 

He felt James' hand gently touch his wrist and when Sirius turned to look at him, James mouthed, " You okay?" 

Sirius nodded, "I'm fine." He realised that he had reached the end of his soup and the fact he was now trying to spoon air into his mouth was probably what had attracted James' concern. "Oh. In my own world, I guess," he said quietly. 

Sirius pulled himself upright, "I'm just going to get a fork," he added more loudly and climbed off the bench. He could have eaten the cake with a spoon, but he wanted a minute to text Remus without being chirped by his friends. Crossing the busy hall with his head down was always going to be a mistake and he found himself colliding with another body as he approached the cutlery trays. 

“I’m so sorry!” Sirius apologised, cringing at the sensation of warm soup seeping through his t-shirt. “I was just -” he started, but as he lifted his head he was met with hauntingly familiar grey eyes.

“Reggie,” Sirius breathed, the nickname slipping out of his mouth. 

He received no reply.

“Regulus? Are you okay?” a tall blond boy that Sirius didn’t recognise asked.

Regulus didn’t get to answer this time even if he had wanted to as an older man, maybe in his 40’s appeared and said gruffly, “Is all alright here?” 

“Yes, yes, we are fine thank you,” Sirius answered. “It was my fault, I wasn’t looking.” 

“Be more careful, Black,” the man said. Sirius managed to pull his eyes away from his brother to look at the name tag. Sergei. 

“Be nice to the kids please, Sergei,” Dumo spoke lightly, a small smile resting on his lips. Sirius swore that the man had appeared out of nowhere.

“You always play favourites, Dumasha,” Sergei grumbled. “He is making a mess of my -”

“Could I just talk to my brother, please!” Sirius snapped. 

“Not your brother,” Regulus said, the sound barely audible.

“Reggie, please. Just let me...” Sirius began. He just wanted a chance to explain how he tried to take Regulus with him, but it hadn’t been possible. To explain that Sirius had needed to get free himself before he could help Regulus and then by the time he was set up, Regulus had been the one to reject him.

“I don’t think they are objecting to talking to you,” the blond boy interrupted. “I think they mean that they are your sibling. Not your brother. Is that correct, Reg?” 

Regulus nodded slowly, fingers clenched tightly around the empty tray in his hands.

“Not my bro-” Sirius’s eyes caught the nametag clipped to Regulus’ t-shirt. He hadn’t looked at it before. They/Them. “Oh. Ohh. I’m sorry, Reggie. I didn’t mean to…”

Regulus cut him off. “It’s okay, you didn’t know,” they said. 

“Still, I’m sorry,” Sirius sighed. “Look, Regulus. Could we talk? Preferably without all these other people?” he asked, his voice hopeful. Sirius turned his gaze to the boy that he didn't recognize, “Who are you anyway?” 

“Leo Knut. Regulus’ roommate. I’ll leave you two to talk if that is what Regulus wants?”

Sirius wasn’t sure if he wanted to punch the guy or hug him for protecting his sibling. 

Regulus gave another nod, more sure than the one they gave earlier. “Go and eat, Leo. Sirius and I should talk. It was always going to have to happen at some point if I stay, eh?”

Sirius took the opportunity to look at Regulus properly. They looked almost identical to when Sirius had last seen them. Only taller. And they held themselves differently. Somehow it was meekier and yet more sure of themselves. Just as Sirius was about to spiral into a mess of thoughts about what he’d left Regulus to face by themself, Dumo cleared his throat. 

“Okay, me and Sergei will clean up this mess. Sirius, I think you should get a clean t-shirt. Regulus, go and make yourself another sandwich. Then we’ll find you somewhere quiet to talk.”

Regulus smiled, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Sirius let out a breath that he hadn’t realised he was holding, “Yeah, me too.”

[multifandomfic20]

Spin the Bottle Lizzy’s fic

It was Christmas time and Remus couldn’t be happier him and Sirius finally got together after years of being in love and he was spending all his time with his friends. How could he not be happy?

It was Friday night all of the 6th year Gryffindor’s were hanging out when Sirius suddenly suggested “we should play spin the bottle” they all laughed “what are we in middle school pads?” James asked as he was laughing.

“Oh come on it will be fun” Sirius actually secretly had a plan to get Lily and James together which is why he suggested playing “come on moons won’t it be fun?” Sirius asked as he gave Remus the puppy eyes.

“Alright I say we play” Remus said rolling his eyes lovingly guessing what Sirius was up to, “ah come on Moony you really just gave into his puppy eyes?” James whined and Remus laughed while Sirius just flung himself into remus’ lap.

Somehow they managed to convince everyone to play so now they were playing (how the game works is if the bottle lands on somebody it’s spelled so the person who spun the bottle and the person it lands on are put into a magical bubble and they can’t leave until they kiss) “I’ll go first” Sirius said and he spun the bottle and it landed on Remus, they both smiled and leaned in and kissed each.

The game went on for a little while then it was finally James’ turn to spin and Sirius cast a spell that made sure it would land on Lily, James held his breath as the bottle spun and gasped when it landed on Lily.

They both were just staring at each other then back down at the bottle until Marlene said “are two going to kiss already?” and Lily leaned in and kissed James.

When they pulled apart they both didn't know what to say and then Lily just got up and ran out of the common room. Marlene and Dorcas went after Lily and the others decided to wait until they got back to continue playing.

James was sitting in the corner of the room and Sirius decided to go talk to him “hey mate how are you doing?” Sirius asked.

“I love her pads like really love her. What if that kiss was too soon and it messed up any chance at a future we might have had? James asked sadly and Sirius suddenly feels awful what if he just fucked everything up for Lily and James, and it would be all his fault.

“James this is all my fault I spelled the bottle to land on Lily I thought this would help you and her get together I’m so sorry” Sirius apologies.

“How could you do that? Have you noticed I stopped asking her out I was actually trying to give some fucking space and you pull this I can’t believe you Sirius” James yells.

The others hear James yelling at Sirius and Before Sirius can respond James is running off to where Lily ran. James finds Marlene and Dorcas sitting with Lily at the astronomy tower.

James walks over to Lily “can we have a moment?” he asks Marlene and Dorcas and they both nod and walk out. “LIly I’m so sorry, I want you to know the truth right away Sirius spelled the bottle for it to land on you but I had nothing to do with it and I hope you can believe me and forgive me” James rambles.

Lily stands up and kisses James which shuts him up when they pull apart she says “James Potter I love you so much it hurts” James gasped and said “I love you too so fucking much.”

James and Lily walk back into the common room holding hands and you can hear all their friends screaming and then Sirius walks over “I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have interfered like that but I’m glad you guys are happy” Sirius tells them.

James pulls Sirius into a hug “I love you mate but if you ever pull something like that again I will kill you” James threatens. They continue playing spin the bottle and Marlene lands on Dorcas.

“What do you think babe can I kiss you?” Marlene asks playfully and Dorcas grabs Marlene by the shirt and kisses her “I love you” Dorcas says as they pull apart “I love you too” Marlene says.

It’s now Frank’s turn and he spins the bottle and it lands on Remus, everyone in the room freezes and Sirius drops the drink he was holding, Remus was looking at Sirius and then at Frank then back at Sirius.

James was shocked when the bottle landed on Remus but he wanted to get revenge on Sirius for pulling what he did tonight “well you know what this means Frank, Remus you two have to kiss” James said and Lily lightly smacked James while Frank, Remus and Sirius all glared at James.

“I’m just stating facts unless you want to be stuck like that forever you two have to kiss” James said trying to hide his smirk. Remus quickly leaned and kissed Frank and the magic around them was released.

Sirius looked like he was about to blow up in anger, Frank looked embarrassed and Remus also looked embarrassed. “How could you just kiss him like that Remus?” Sirius yelled.

“It was the only way out of the supid magic bubble” Remus said calmly, Sirius grabbed Remus’ arm and dragged him up into their dorm “how dare you kiss Frank” Sirius yelled again.

“Sirius, Frank and I were in the bubble the only way out was to fucking kiss” Remus yelled back getting angry that Sirius didn’t understand where Remus was coming from “Siri I didn’t want to kiss Frank but I just wanted to get it over with” Remus said softly reaching out and grabbing Sirius’ hand.

“No you don’t get to touch me you cheated on me” Sirius yelled and Remus almost fell he was so shocked at what Sirius said “are you fucking kidding me you wanted to play the stupid game and now you are saying I cheated on you?” Remus asked

“Yes you cheated on me” Sirius yelled not at all thinking about what he was saying “are fucking kidding me? Yeah well I need a break” Remus said as he stormed out of the room.

Right before Remus could storm out of the common room James grabbed his “Moony what happened in there?” James asked confused, Remus tried not to look James in the eye because he was crying.

“Um he brought me up there and then started yelling at me and the he had the fucking nerve to say I cheated on him. So I broke up with him” Remus said, trying not to cry harder. James’ first reaction was to go up into the dorm and punch Sirius but he knew Remus needed him right now so he pulled Remus into a hug.

“Moony I need you to know that you did not fucking cheat on him this is not your fault” James told Remus and Remus nodded “I’m going to go to library” Remus said “can I come?” Lily asked so she could keep an eye on him and Remus just nodded and they walked off.

 James went straight up to the dorm and as soon as he saw Sirius he punched him “how dare you say Moony cheated on you. Moony is the most loyal person there is” James yelled.

Sirius didn’t know what to say “I can’t blame him for breaking up with you” James said and Sirius gasped “Moony didn’t break up with me” and James got even angrier “oh so you are so daft that you didn’t even realize he broke up with you” Is all James said before he walked out to go see if Remus was okay and Peter followed James.

It had been two weeks and Remus avoided the dorms and common room as much as possible. All of his friends always stayed with him though even if he did just want to be alone.

Remus had finally managed to sneak off from his friends and was going to go to his usual crying spot when he heard the familiar sound of Sirius crying and on reflex he followed the sound.

When Sirius looked up and saw Remus he wiped his eyes and quickly said “what I said to you was completely out of line I hope one day you can forgive me” Sirius started crying harder and Remus just slid onto the floor next to Sirius.

“Siri I love you so much but what you said to me that hurt really fucking bad and I felt terrible about myself and I didn’t know how to fix it” Remus explained “I know rem and I didn’t mean what I said I was jealous and I let that get the better of me” Sirius rambled. 

Remus leaned in and kissed Sirius “Siri I love you and I’m willing to forgive you if you forgive yourself” Remus said “deal” Sirius said as he kissed Remus.

[theclosetpoet7]

Golden Saucer Delights

A CloTi fic by theClosetPoet7

Rating: MA, inspired by our chat group where Senigata gave me an idea to take my inappropriately-worded sentence to the next level. Thank you to Denebola Leo for being my amazing Beta. :D

Summary: "Whew, hot damn, I know I have Shera and all but that Tifa can be sexy." Cloud's eye twitches, resisting the urge to punch the guy. Barret doesn't waste any time in grabbing hold of the pilot's shoulder. "Come again you motherfucker?" [Set during the Original Game]

Perhaps he should berate himself for losing control like this.

Perhaps he should stay away from her for a while lest he ends up scaring her away.

Or perhaps he should just let things be, let his intentions be known so that she doesn't get the wrong idea.

Of course, how could she even think otherwise? When he has only had eyes for her since the beginning. Wasn't their first rough and tumble back in Seventh Heaven proof enough? Hadn't he claimed her as his woman a few nights after he joined AVALANCHE?

But then again, since his date with Aerith the night before, he honestly cannot fault her for avoiding him today. Especially because he had almost taken things too far last night.

Spotting her at the bar, drinking alone after he accompanied the flower girl back to their room, stirred his emotions initially in the same way he has always favored her. But, upon seeing her strained grip on the pink drink she was nursing, and noting the way she had a subtle glare in her scarlet eyes; made the guilt he had been denying come to life. And all he wanted to do was show her that she's the only one.

It's only ever been her.

So he had taken her back to his room, and he had touched her with the intent to go further than what was right. And he had let her feel the want he's been holding back, wanting to be inside her again for it had been too long since that night back in Midgar. Unfortunately though, touching her, as good as it felt, as heavy as the desire to bury himself in her was…touching her, only made him think of the other girl sleeping soundly a few doors away, only made him recall her innocent smile as the fireworks drowned out the words she wanted to say.

He thinks it's the same for Tifa, because she had pulled away and begrudgingly whispered that he had just come from a date.

He wants to tell her that he's sorry but like usual, he couldn't find the right words. What could he say anyway?

Cloud had never felt like a jackass until that night, especially when she snapped her suspenders back in place and left him sitting on the edge of the bed, hips still heated because she had straddled him moments before.

And when she shuts the door without another word, it took all of his strength to not go after her.

That night, his dreams were filled with dark brown strands cascading over smooth shoulders as she resumed her previous stance and rode him the way he wanted her to, in the way that told him that she is his just as much as he is hers.

Today though, she doesn't speak to him. And by not speak, he doesn't mean in the silent treatment kind. She still said good morning, still replied when addressed, but she has closed off her heart in some form. In a way that reminded him of the time he first revealed his connections to Sephiroth.

And she stays away.

She veers off from his side as they walk around the Golden Saucer, marveling at the colorful lights above while Aerith holds onto his arm. Her eyes subtly regarding them is not one he can miss because he had been looking at her the whole day.

The others haven't noticed the tense atmosphere yet. Well, except for Vincent, who while retreating back to his quarters for the night had casually muttered.

"You have some fixing to do." before closing the door in his face.

She's laughing at something Barret said, playfully smacking his arm when she nods her head enthusiastically as they turn the corner and find that game of test of strength. A surge of pride fills him when she breaks the record on the contraption, a silly grin on her face as their gun-wielding member tries to reach her score with just one arm.

Of course, Tifa had the most amount of brute strength out of all of them, except for him of course, who carried an enormous sword the majority of their travels.

She's given a giant chocobo as a prize and she leans down to give it to a little girl who had been watching them shyly. It reminded him of how kind she truly was, and how good she was with children, being the only one Barret trusts to take care of Marlene while they were away on missions, her gentle eyes regarding him with that look of affection when he returns to the bar.

Her legs wrap around his hips as he fucks her behind the counter.

"Cloud?"

Her green eyes peer up at him, some concern there. He shakes his head at the image of him and Tifa back at Seventh Heaven and shifts his attention to the flower girl. She also has that expression of delicate warmth. One that makes him wonder from time to time about how Aerith really feels about him, if he's reading the signals wrong. And it wasn't like he felt nothing for her at all. He might have been interested once. But, Tifa exists. It was that simple fact. Still though, he feels a sense of ease around the last Cetra for she just has that sweet quality about her.

"Is there something you want to do?"

His eyes are directed at Tifa once again, who is smiling widely until she feels his stare on her. There's a hint of emotion in those red orbs, for she quickly averts her attention and has her hands bunching at her pleated skirt, in a way that he's always known means that she's frustrated.

"Cloud?"

"I want to go chocobo racing."

"Oh, how fun!"

Aerith lets go of his arm and scampers off to wrap them around Tifa instead, capturing the others' attention.

"Cloud says he wants to go racing."

"Well, Chappy has been well rested for a while now." Tifa was the one who named their racing bird and she knew as much as he did about taking care of him, coming from a small village where there was a chocobo farm nearby.

He is nervous in her presence, like he is waiting for his mother to give him permission to go play. But she grins instead and instantly warms his heart when she says that it would be fun.

So here they were, standing near the stalls as they prepared Chappy for the race up ahead. The track is painted in its usual rainbow colors, neon lights shining bright and large tv screens flickering with the latest advertisements.

Chappy had already made a name for himself after coming in first several times before and the competition they have tonight isn't anything new. Easy money is all it is.

"Cloud, I've been thinking."

He almost jumps back when Tifa appears by his side, soft hands running over their bird's feathered mane, a light smile on her face when she leans her forehead against its beak.

"What is it?"

He wants to say more, wants to ask more, wants to know what's on her mind, if she is upset with him about last night or if she's okay now. Or if he's been overthinking again.

"Can I do the race tonight?"

She's biting into her lower lip, a careful anticipation evident on her face while she waits for his consent. He is the main racer and owner after all.

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Of course, Teef."

The happiness in her is enough to help him conclude that it is a good decision to let her do as she pleased. After all, Tifa is always good at what she's doing.

.

.

.

His eye twitches.

"Whew, hot damn, I know I have Shera and all but that Tifa can be sexy."

Cid's words nearly rewards him with a glare and a punch to the face, but Cloud tries with all his might to remain apathetic. Besides, Barret doesn't waste time in grabbing hold of the pilot's shoulder with his very own menacing gaze.

"Come again you motherfucker?"

"Barret! Language!"

Aerith has her hands on her hips, lecturing the two men as they continued their friendly banter, though Barret honestly looked pissed at Cid for even glancing at his surrogate daughter the wrong way.

Cloud doesn't miss the way the other men ogle at her positioned so gracefully atop the chocobo; long lean legs settled with purpose around the saddle, gloves holding the reins with confidence as she bends closer into a racing stance.

He almost breaks the glass he is holding when he gets a peak of her black shorts beneath her leather skirt. Sure he's always seen those tight shorts, she had a knack for kicking monsters, but there was just something about her riding a chocobo that has him all hot and bothered.

"Oh Cloud, your head looks like a chocobo!"

He clenches his fists at the memory of those very words and the fact that she had been all over him last night.

"It's about to start."

Red XIII's voice is almost indistinguishable, what with the way he sets his mind on his childhood friend, mouth dry at the sight of her, heart pumping, because her eyes are focused with absolute determination as she waits for the gunshot to signal the start of the race.

"Tifa is so gonna kill this!"

"I bet she is, those other racers might wanna stay behind on a count of the view they will be having."

"That's it, I'm kicking you out."

"Come on guns, just teasing here."

"The stars say that Miss Tifa is going to lose."

"That just makes me question your validity, kitty cat."

"I believe in Tifa."

Aerith's is the last voice he drowns out when the gun fires, and she's off then, directing Chappy in the way he had taught her before, legs clenching hard when she picks up the speed, hair blowing in the wind and ass…

Wait.

Ass

Ass...

Her pretty ass bouncing, and her breasts, though confined by the sports bra she is donning, tantalizing him with their...liveliness.

Up and down.

Up

and

Down.

Cloud can't seem to think anymore. The spectacle before him is too much. And hearing all the hoots and cheers from the number of men in the stadium, Cloud knows that he isn't the only one.

A hint of possessiveness overcomes him and he couldn't help but focus his eyes on her and only her during the course. Counting the minutes until she crosses the finish line. And she's back here.

With him.

So he can show everyone here that she isn't available.

She wins, of course. But purely based on her skills and not because of what Cid had been implying. She's jumping up and down with excitement, a big grin on her face when they hand her the trophy, running excitedly back towards the team.

"Did you see that? I won! I won!"

Before she can say any more, however, he's taking her hand in his. She must have been caught off guard because she nearly stumbles when he tugs her to him.

"Let's get out of here."

"What?"

"Wuhoo! Get some girl!"

Yuffie must be dead drunk. He doesn't care though, doesn't care about what the others are thinking. He just wants to be alone with her. He pulls the barmaid through the crowd, head set on where he is taking her. Tifa follows him with no fight in her, though she occasionally asks where he's taking her.

But he wants to get there as fast as he can.

He can no longer wait for even a second.

The kiss he gives her is deep and aggressive when he pushes her against the closed door of the room he had rented. She's returning it with equal fervor and wraps a leg around his hip, trapping him to her slim body. Already he is nearly hard for her, so he pushes his desire against her core and smirks when she gasps at the contact.

"Cloud."

"I want to fuck you, Tifa."

He's always been crude when it comes to this act. Coming from soldier, he had been exposed to various profanities and innuendos that gave him ideas about what sex would be like once he eventually had the chance to do it. And he knows she loves it when he uses that word.

"Then fuck me."

She is just as eager for some reason, the event last night probably being one that she has decided on letting go for now. So he kisses her then. And he slides her suspenders off and wastes no time in taking off her white tank top, lips already finding their way to her neck as she grabs his shirt's zipper and pulls it down, exposing his chest and rewarding him with her soft touch as she pries it off him, smoothing her hands over his pectorals and pulling at his neck to direct him to her lips again, fingers tangling in his chocobo locks.

Yes, perhaps he should have more control than this.

But, when she's pushing him onto the bed and she's pulling his pants off, leaving him in his dark blue boxers while she settles her legs over him, Cloud thinks screw control. He had Tifa on him right now. With her long legs mounting him like last night, only that she had already taken off her training shorts underneath.

It is such an erotic sight.

Tifa Lockhart, wearing just her blank tank top and mini-skirt, still in her thigh highs, while he's leaning backwards on his elbows, half-naked and in only his boxers, with so little between them.

He pushes himself up, meeting her cherry lips while he runs his hands over her thighs, rubbing them softly, thrusting his hips once in a while, already hard with want. He puts his hand under her skirt, flicking her through her moistened panties while he pulls one side of her sports bra down, popping out one breast which he takes in his mouth and starts sucking on.

"Hgnn...Cloud."

Her gasps of pleasure encourages his attention and he pulls briefly away to take her whole bra off as he strains his muscles against her hips, pushing up while he continues to touch her.

"Take them off."

"Cloud."

"Take your panties off."

She gets on her feet and bends down, breasts following her movement that only serve to make him rock hard with eagerness, head filled with what is about to happen next.

He backs into the center of the bed and watches her as she follows him and meets his lips once more. His hand angles her chin to him as he probes his tongue deeper and plays with hers until he crosses the point of no return. She is still wearing her pleated skirt, as well as her dark thigh-highs, and it is then when he realizes a new kink he has for her.

"Ride me."

Hands press onto her thighs, stroking her smooth skin as he meets her eyes when he makes the lewd suggestion. She doesn't even shy away from that because the next thing he knows, Tifa is grabbing his boxers and yanking them off of him, taking hold of his hardened cock while she guides it inside her.

"Fuck."

She's always been warm and tight for him, taking his whole shaft while she bites her lips to stop from screaming out his name. When he's completely inside, Cloud grips her hips to prevent her from moving. Because he wants to feel her first, all of her, wants to savor this moment of profound connection.

With her.

Only with her.

So with one hand, he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, then traces her warm cheeks, her lips, following the path down her middle where he passes the scar between her breasts, onto her belly, until his finger makes contact with the tiny nub he knows is one that brings her immense pleasure; never breaking their eye contact.

He starts rubbing.

"Cloud!"

He lets her move then, and he watches.

Watches as she moves her hips to her own beat, riding him as hard as she could, taking him in and then pulling out only to slam back down before he can fully slip out. He keeps flicking her clit, his grasp on her right thigh tightening when a new wave of pleasure washes over him.

Her hands rest on the headboard behind him, sweat sliding down her forehead and onto her chest while she goes harder and faster, moving to her own release until he could no longer just let her do all the work, so he runs his hands over her waist and thrusts up, assuming an upward jerk that increases the wetness that had engulfed him. He slams his hips up, meeting her again and again, giving in to his desire to claim her, giving her all of him, as much of himself he can give. Fucking her with an animalistic pounding, driving in and out, hard and fast, until something inside her snaps and she suddenly arches into his hard body and opens her arms up to him.

Cloud could not help but accept her embrace, sitting up to return her hold as she quivers around him, grip tightening when he suddenly releases into her. The heat of their mixed fluids teasing the threads of his desire as he pumps her to prolong this feeling of absolute bliss, breaths coming out in harsh pants as they slump against each other.

Yes.

Fuck control.

______________

He watches the rise and fall of her chest. Her face is directed to the other side but he knows she's already awake. Last night's tryst has given him courage, so he doesn't stop himself from reaching out to her, gently pulling her against him while greedily resting his front between her butt cheeks and kissing her shoulders as he laces their fingers together.

Tifa accepts his touch and leans further into him.

"About the other night." He starts.

"Mm."

She shakes her head, and he pictures a sexually satisfied smile on her face when she does this.

"I'm sorry, though."

She tightens her hold on his fingers.

"It was just a date."

He buries his face in her hair, rewarding himself with the smell of her cherry shampoo.

"But I wanted it to be you."

He suddenly feels her stiffen, and if it wasn't for the way he loved the position they are in right now, Cloud would have rolled her onto her back so he could see her face. He gives her the time to reply, strong thighs pressing closer to her when his embrace becomes more intimate.

She kisses his fingers...

"Then take me out next time."

AN: For shame, oh my goodness, the inner pervert is winning today. Thank you for reading!

[ronweasleyisourking]

This is How We Dance Chapter 2 | Read on AO3 here

After Sirius, Remus, Regulus and James had helped the girls get their equipment backstage, obviously not letting Lily carry anything, they entered the crowd that was already spilling out of the bar that had been cleared of any furniture in preparation, despite the fact the concert had not started yet.

They were already sweating from the being packed against people shoulder-to shoulder and despite Regulus’s protests, Sirius had taken off their shirt, throwing the mesh fabric over their shoulder, surprising everyone by calling out, “Frank? Frank is that you?”

They fought through the crowd, taking a minute to get just ten feet across the bar and they were all suddenly face to face with people they used to go to school with. “I knew it was you Frank! And you too Alice! I haven’t seen you guys in so long,” Sirius said throwing their arms around Frank, obviously not worried about the fact that they were shirtless.

Frank pulled away and looked Sirius up and down embarrassedly, saying “I see you haven’t changed at all Sirius,” and while Sirius was pretending that they were offended before going on to hug Alice and then Emmeline, who they hadn’t seen, Frank looked past him, his eyes brightening when he saw James and he continued, “And James is here as well! It’s so nice to see you again!”

Sirius made disgruntled noises again, Remus looked perturbed at not being noticed, and Regulus looked a little pissed, knowing that Frank and James kind of had a “will-they-won’t-they” thing in high school, but James just smiled and said, “Hi Frank! It’s nice to see you too. I don’t know if you remember him or not, but this is my boyfriend, Reg, and our girlfriend is playing tonight. The Q Rebellion.”

Alice quickly introduced them to her cousins, Hestia, who was a few years older than them, and Gwenog, who was quite a bit younger than them, and James could tell that this was her first concert by how excited she looked. He made a note to introduce her to the manager's nephew, who loved concerts and who he believed was around her age.

The first act was getting on stage, and James said, “You guys have to come to the after party at our house. You can even stay the night. We have room,” before turning to the stage, where a band consisted of about seven people introduced themselves as Fifteen Possible Girls, opening with an original song about Medusa and her nonbinary partner that she tried not to turn to stone.

The crowd went wild and those of them that had seen the band play before or who had watched their YouTube videos sung along with lyrics, their little group included. The people were jumping up and down, never in sync yet it still seemed like some perfect planned-out motion, and they laughed and screamed and a lot of them were thinking that this was the best night of their lives, being able to be so free with people who were just like them at a concert that was all about celebrating who they are. And it kind of was.

 -×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-

Remus slipped back through the crowd right as the fourth act was playing, getting ready to help the girls moves their instruments on and off the stage, and now a duo was playing a love song, obviously written by one to the other. James noted their great chemistry with another, the way they played and danced so seamlessly together, the way their voices blended together as if one, but also noted that they were nowhere near as good as the girls. But he was biased.

When the girls finally came on stage, James’ grin grew at seeing Lily behind the drum set, and tried not to think about all the articles he had read about how loud noises could damage the baby’s hearing, because Lily had given him enough lectures about how the baby was going to be fine, plus it was being introduced to great music.

“Find tables spaces, say your social graces, bow your head, they’re pious here, but you and I, we’re pioneers, we make our own rules, our own room, no bias here…”

The band started playing their cover of Wild Things by Alessia Cara, and while not everyone in the crowd knew the lyrics by heart, but as soon as Marlene began singing, the crowd started trying to sing along with her, dancing in the little room that they had.  James turned to Reg, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and pulling him even closer, so that every part of themselves that could touch were touching, and kissed every inch of Regulus’s skin that he could reach at the moment. He and Reggie weren’t typically big on PDA, not like Remus and Sirius were, or even Marlene and Dorcas, but listening to their girlfriend and best friends play in a room of people who didn’t care what they were doing was a different story. They could be themselves. They didn’t have to hide.

“So hey, we brought our drum and this is how we dance, no mistakin’, we make our breaks, and if you don’t like our 808s, then leave us alone, ‘cause we don’t need your policies, we have no apologies for being…”

Everyone began singing as the chorus began and James threw his head back, laughing at the pure joy of it and practically screaming, “FIND ME WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE!” Regulus was less enthusiastic about it, mumbling the words into James’ chest, so that he was the only one able to hear him as he felt the familiar vibrations of Regulus’ voice in his chest, making their ways to his heart. He kissed Regulus again, hard and fast before continuing to sing the song.

“I lose my balance on these eggshells, you tell me to tread, but I’d rather be a wild one instead…”

When the song ended a couple minutes later, James blew a kiss to the stage, hoping that Lily would see and knowing that she wouldn’t, before fighting through the crowd with Regulus (Sirius stayed back with Alice, Frank and Emmeline) to get backstage. They probably could have spent the entire time backstage but there was just something about being in the crowd at concerts. Something that made James feel so alive he wouldn’t ever trade for standing backstage.

And when he finally got to Lily, he got a feeling like that too. But this time he had a word for it – love. He was full of it, for Lily and Regulus and his unborn baby and all of his friends. It was the greatest feeling in the world to him.

Fic Playlist

Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At the Disco

Wild Things by Alessia Cara

[m-oana-archive]

Long in Love (Sirius x reader)

Summary: After breaking up with your ex, your best friend, Sirius, tries to comfort you.  But, you cannot let him help, as telling him the truth would expose something even worse: you’ve been in love with him for years. 

Words: 4458

Warnings: explicit language, mature themes

A/N: Y/N’s house isn’t specified, but, regardless, in this fic, guys can get into girls’ dorms no problem.  Sorry I don’t make the rules (oh, wait...) 

Requested by @meteorslunatic using 

28: “Here, let me help.” // 40: “I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.” // 46: “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

read on AO3 | read other requested work | masterlist | 

The thing about crying for extended periods of time is that time starts to elude itself.  It ceases to exist in the way it typically does, instead becoming a prison to possibilities, yet one that speeds by faster than you can process or believe.

So you hadn't known how long you had been sitting in your bedroom, teardrops spilling from your eyes with a fervency that could outdo rainstorms, but it didn't feel like enough.  Trapped in the shackles of arguments of the previous hour, nothing you wailed out of your body felt adequate enough to express the guilt which ripped through you.  So you allowed your body to fully absorb the impact of every ache of your heart, every burn of your lungs, without question.

“I thought you had moved on.”

His voice rang in your ears.  The image of his lips frowning burned on the inside of your eyelids, constructed from dots of light and shadows.  It forced to to recollect how they had trembled, suggesting a hold back from anger into sadness.  

What you remember most vividly, however, were his hands.  They were flexed and glued to his bedsheets, as if he was afraid that his body would betray him and reach out towards yours, exposing his desperation.  But hadn't he done the same thing by making it so obvious he craved your touch?  And it's not as if you minded: you forced yourself to swallow that same urge of physical tenderness, considering you had caused him enough pain already.  If he wanted to leave, you had no right to hold him back from doing so.  

Even though he was long gone and you were in an entirely different room, on an entirely different bed, your arm reached out as though you were still sitting across from him, fingers grabbing onto the air in the same way they would have wrapped around his wrist if they had gotten the chance.  You allowed yourself to remember the feeling of his skin, the warmth it radiated, the thickness of vine-like veins that were layered under that surface.

“So had I.”

Alongside the salt that ran onto your tongue through teardrops, recollecting your words made your mouth taste like cool aluminum: metallic.  So much of your delivery was harsher than it should have been; or, maybe, it was the right thing to do.  Speak as bluntly as the truth your ex-boyfriend had discovered.  Warm him about what storm was hiding underneath your tongue, what monster was lurking underneath your skin.

“So what does that make me?”  He shouted then; he barely ever raised his voice out of anger, only due to being overjoyed, so it shook you in the same way earthquakes do buildings.  “Am I just some pathetic rebound?  Do I mean nothing to you?”  Then, much more quietly, like a whisper made out of a breath, as if he was speaking to himself due to being in sheer disbelief:  “You said you loved me.”

Even though it wasn’t aggressive or thunderous or venomous, the sentence ripped through you like a blade, leaving your bones to crumble to dust.  So your words were stumbled over, your tone defeated, as you replied, “I wasn't lying when I said I loved you.”

It wasn't a lie, you told yourself now.  It wasn't it wasn't it wasn't.  So why did it feel like one?

Deep in your heart; a partition.  An invisible partition, so one you couldn't find when you went searching your emotions for the cause of the dishonesty you felt.  It was the same thing that allowed you to fall in love in the first place; in recognizing its futility, you were able to accept his flustered invitation to Hogsmeade.  And you thought saying “yes” might saw it away, so did, hoping to find your Elysium after countless nights of sobbing into pillowcases then pretending you were fine.  But it hadn't left or softened; you had just been too distracted by study dates and first kisses and late night discussions to realize there was still an issue to be solved.  

The issue of you being in love with Sirius Black.

At first, when you recognized your feelings, you also realized they guided you into every lovesick action: trailing your eyes to find his leather-jacket-clad figure in every crowded room, tripping over words, blushing the pink of dusk at his compliments.  All things you didn't mean to do, making your love equally as involuntary.  An impulse.  A bad habit you needed to end.

Because, of course, he didn't look at you in the same way you saw him, as if he was made of summer breezes and starlight and the magic which poured out of your wands.  His smile could sprout flowers and the rest of the world vanished when he came into view, dark hair bouncing and eyes sparkling with mischief.  When you were next to him your body was made out of fireworks, going off when he laughed, winked, accidentally dragged his hand against yours.

But when he was next to you?  “Y/N,” he said to you one night, “I never knew my heart could beat this slowly.  Here.”  He grabbed your hand—a motion not odd after four years of self-declared best friendship—and placed it on his chest.  While you felt the steady and deep beats of his heart, yours fluttered like wings at the proximity of your fingers to his skin.

“It's only with you, you know.”

He meant it as a compliment; best friends are supposed to feel comfortable around one another.  And he didn't know you were feeling the opposite right then; your heart was ceaseless against your chest until it split at Sirius’ ignorant, compassionate words.

So you barricaded those feelings, locked them in a box in your heart and didn't allow yourself to think of them again.  The partition was drawn.  Sirius asked out Marlene and you did not allow one tear to drop from your eyes.  One stroke of grief to rip through your body.

And when they broke up not two weeks later, you did not allow a sly smile to sneak up onto your lips, or a sigh of relief to sound between them.  You helped Sirius out of his breakup with carefully chosen words: ones that comforted him without alluding to anything else.  

So when he busted into your bedroom, red-faced and purse-lipped, you wondered if it would be the same for you.

Sirius found you with your arm still reaching out towards the invisible wrist.  He walked forwards without an invitation—he usually asked, even though he knew he didn't need one; but this felt different—as if he was a warrior on a battlefield.  It was only when he came close enough to your bed that the intensity shifted.  It was only once he could determine you were sad his lips dropped into a mirroring frown.

“Are you—”  You shook your head, and his voice faded.

He tried again: “What happened?”  

Against your body’s plead to stay still, aching from crying for hours, you sat up.  Sirius was standing by the edge of your bed, peering down at you inquisitively; you didn't like being uneven in conversations, so had to gain height somehow.  If you were going to fight with your best friend due to not telling him why your boyfriend just broke up with him, you could at least do it with some integrity, you figured.

It wasn't shattered irretrievably, but your voice was translucent and weak as you said, “I got dumped today.”  Broken up sounded too real; you could pick up things that were dumped on the ground, find them again, but rarely do broken things get put back together as if nothing ever happened.  Without sharp edges still jutting out and every new blow hitting harder than it should.

Sirius’ face fell like it was made of wax that had just melted.  He reached out for your hand, but you tore it away.

Before he could ask why—either for the breakup or retraction, it did not matter—you spoke again.  “Are you mad at me?”

It was an odd thing to ask after so obviously refusing Sirius’ embrace, and you watched its contradiction dance across Sirius' features, leaving them twisted.  Then, at the release, “No.” Sirius sucked in a breath.  “Well, I was mad at you.  I thought you were ignoring me for some reason, and I was mad, since we usually talk things through.  Because we can tell each other everything.”

Sirius' face twisted once more.  “Why didn't you tell me about this?” he asked, accusation drawn from the previous sentence.

So much for your attempt at skirting from that very question.

“I… I didn't want to ruin your day,” you lied.  At least it was a believable one: Sirius always felt sadness from your sadness, joy from your joy.  It wasn't like how you had to force yourself to respond appropriately to his break-up with Marlene, trick yourself into agony.

But you hadn't tricked him: “That's bullshit,” Sirius chuckled, his eyes rolling.  “You know I get upset easily for others, so if that’s the truth, then you wouldn’t have been able to tell me anything after the first time you were sad in front of me.”

You didn’t have a sharp response so didn’t speak; your reddened eyes drifted from object to object in your dorm, bed to discarded shoe to stack of textbooks, averting Sirius’ glare.  In the resulting silence between you and Sirius, the recollection of the loudness between you and your now ex-boyfriend resurfaced once more.

“Then how could you not stop loving him?”

“I… I don’t know…”

“Am I not enough for you?”  You flinched; the high volume and piercing sharpness of his voice shocked you like jumping into freezing water.   “You know, I’m not even pissed at you being attracted to him.  But the fact you didn’t stop loving him after dating me.   Because that makes me feel like I'm just some rebound.  Some unsuccessful rebound.”

You were shaking your head incessantly, as if making your world blurry would make your thoughts clearer.  “No, no.  I swear.  I did want you.  I loved you and I still do—”

“That's all great,” he interrupted, waving his hands in the air.  “But can you tell me that my sole purpose in your life wasn’t to make you stop loving Sirius?”

The thing about lying for extended periods of time is that time starts to elude itself.  It ceases to exist in the way it typically does, instead becoming a prison to possibilities, yet one that speeds by faster than you can process or believe.

So when you choked for words, trying to formulate a lie that covered up for the one just discovered, time stopped.  Air stilled.  The only movement in the world was the smile that crept up on his face, an evil, venomous grin.

And at that moment of living and reliving, you found yourself at the same location in both conversations: a lie exposed in black and white, your mouth unable to speak yourself into safety any longer.  All you had left was buffering, making nonsense noises to stall and confessing tangential comments in order to get the other person to stay for as long as they could.

Because, if there was one thing you had learned from your breakup, leaving wasn’t a question of if, but when.

And, if your ex was any indication, you only had a few more moments with Sirius before he would become a tenderly-held memory.  As the same pattern of unreciprocated love was repeated; only, this time, it would be your heart left beating like raindrops on rooftops, but severely unfulfilled.

“Y/N.”  It was Sirius’ voice, loud and booming as it bounced throughout your room authoritatively, that pulled your eyes back into focus.  And once they were drawn in, out of a place of preemptive reminiscence and despite the tension which gripped the air stiffly, you allowed them to drink in Sirius’ face, the places where sharp edges met rounded cheeks, the loose and long bangs that framed them.

The only thing you didn’t want to immortalize was his cold expression.  A joke threatened to spill out of your throat; all you desired was to make Sirius smile so you could etch the description of his joy inside of your mind without there being any mistakes in the retelling.

Or maybe it would be easier like this, you thought to yourself, easier to remember him with ice-filled eyes and a frost-coverd face, so being without him would be less missing and more moving on.

“Y/N,” Sirius repeated again.  Even though he hadn’t moved—at his voice your depth perception rebounded, eyes able to unfocused on his face and refocus on his body as a whole—he felt closer to you.  In a stupid moment of unjustified hope, you thought maybe that feeling was due to Sirius wanting to be closer to you.  Wanting to touch you.  For a brief moment you indulged yourself in the fantasy, just because you knew it would be one of your last.

Is it odd to feel nostalgic towards pain?

Your body lurched forwards.  You assumed your ironic thought would send you chuckling into madness, but, instead, it had clawed at your heart.  Because you were nostalgic towards your conversation earlier: so many things you could have said better, kinder, softer.

“Do you even feel guilty, Y/N?”

“Of course I do.  Fuck, I’m not a monster.”

“Are you sure?”

You felt the weight of Sirius’ arms before you understood why your body was underneath them.  Having been sitting on the side of your thigh, torso propped up by your arms, your body had fallen into his at an odd angle, resulting the right side of your face being pressed in the middle of Sirius’ ribcage.

Even though you felt as though you were slipping down against the fabric of his t-shirt, Sirius promised, “I’ve got you.”  So you stayed put; it was almost as if you were testing your faith in his words, waiting to see if you would fall further.  

“Don’t talk to me so angrily,” you demanded.  You felt Sirius suck in a breath at your words, probably because they were said too harshly, too late.  Yet you said them anyways.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m just worried.”  He was defending himself, but still, his words were softer.  “Like… can you even get up by yourself?”  It took only a moment of Sirius’ arms loosening their grip around you, your body automatically and uncontrollably slipping, for the answer to be realized.

Sirius’ grip tightened once more.  “Here, let me help.”

And even his movements were less severe; gently, he slid his arms so his hands could cup each side of your torso, and lifted you back to sitting.  Only, this time, he placed you on your bed so both of your hips were squarely beneath you, feet just barely dangling off of the edge.

Out of some unforeseen instinct, you rubbed the sheets near your thighs flat.  Only after watching the wrinkles be pushed out did you look up.  

The coldness from Sirius’ face was gone and replaced with the complete opposite expression; his eyes darted, fingers twiddling, and head slightly tilted downwards.  At this point, shyness around one another was an uncommon occurrence at most, leaving you confused as he stuttered out, “Can I, uh…Can I maybe sit with you?”

You nodded slowly, body overflowing with equal confusion.  You couldn’t recall a time in the last three years, at least, where Sirius asked you permission to sit on your bed.  Usually, he just jumped on, as if it were his, even if you were laying on it.  Sometimes, he’d land on top of you completely, expression wild, smirking lips just inches away from yours’…

This time he sat a respectable distance away and didn't even position his body to face you.

Even though you didn't complain, Sirius explained: “Moony told me something about how not facing people while talking to them makes telling the truth easier.”  He let the comment hang; you knew he was waiting for you to speak, but your lips were a locked wrought-iron gate.  

So, Sirius sucked in a breath, and on the exhale said, “I'm sorry I talked to you that way,”—You could feel him fidgeting—“but I just didn't know where else to put all of the anger that has been welling up inside of me.”

You couldn't help turning towards him.  “Why are you upset?”

“Why are you?” he sneered, then faltered.  Regret washed down Sirius' face as he apologized quickly.

“No, no, I kind of deserved that,” you assured.  Your heart felt like a brick in water and you turned away from Sirius’ face, unprepared to confront his reaction.  “I shouldn't have kept what happened to myself for this long.  What happened earlier… I got dumped.”

You weren’t sure if your shoulders sagged in relief or because the boulder of Sirius’ knowledge of this information had just been dropped atop them.  Sirius’ body reacted in the exact opposite way; you could feel the bed shift as his body bolted further upright.  He was looking at you, but you still couldn’t look back.

Shock dripped even from his voice as he asked, “What happened?”

“He said he felt like I didn’t love him enough.”  You chose each word carefully, saying them with equal precaution.

“Well that’s shit.  I saw the way you looked at him, Y/N.  You never looked at anyone else that way.  And you’ve never talked to me about someone else so much before.”

I’ve looked at you that way, you thought.  And you almost said it, too, even let your mouth open on the impulse.  So when you choked the words back, your mouth was left hanging open pathetically.

You snapped it shut.  Then you swallowed before responding, “I think he was right.”

“Y/N, look at me,” Sirius said, grabbing your wrist.  All the motion did was make you aware that Sirius’ fingers were warm.  “Y/N.  Y/N.”

“I didn’t tell you because you can’t convince me I didn’t do that.  You can talk me through the sadness, but I deserved this.  I did a lot of things wrong, Sirius.”

His fingers were still coiled around your wrist.  “I can’t imagine you doing anything wrong.  When I think about dating you, you’re always the better half.”

That comment got your attention; you whipped your head to look at Sirius.  “You’ve thought about dating me?”

“Uh, yeah,” Sirius agreed without reassurance.  His eyes dipped from yours momentarily.  “I mean, haven’t you ever just let yourself imagine dating different people?  Like compatibility tests?”

“Not really.  I guess that’s why I was shocked.”  

Sirius nodded knowingly, and, for a moment, the conversation felt finished.  Fingers were even released from your wrist, Sirius’ attention turned back towards the wall.

But then, he continued: “I know you, and I know you have a tendency to take the blame for things.  So just know, whatever caused you to break up, it probably wasn’t as much of your fault as you think it is.”

“He called me a monster,” you whispered.

Sirius turned, eyes wide, jaw clenched.  “He did what?”

“He wasn’t wrong.  But still, it made me feel like… like the issue that broke us up is something I’ll never stop doing.  Something I’ll never escape from, because it’s me.  I am the monster.”

“Fine.  I wanted to get over Sirius.  But I do love you.”

“Not enough.  Not more than him.”

Of course, you thought.  I have never loved someone more than him.

Sirius jumped up, off of the bed.  His arms were waving in pattern with his speech.  “I don’t give a fuck.  I know you, and there’s nothing you could ever do to warrant him calling you something as cruel as that.”

“Nothing?”  Your lips tasted salty.  Your voice was a whimper.

“Nothing.”

“Even being in love with someone else at the same time as dating him?”

Sirius’ arms fell down along with his face, which was watching you intensely as if waiting for you to burst out into laughter and say you were lying behind tears of joy.  But the tears that had welled in your eyes were from sadness and sadness alone.

You were expecting yelling and blame, a conversation full of so much anger it and disappointment it would trump the one that was haunting you now, still, hours later.  Instead, Sirius walked in front of you and asked, in a tone so gentle you doubted for a moment it was him speaking, “Did I ever tell you that was one of the reasons Marlene broke up with me?”

“No.”

Sirius smiled to himself; the grin was full of distaste and irony.  “She noticed I had feelings for someone else and talked to me about it.  I told her, as horrible as it was, that they had developed after starting to date her.  And I promised that I was working on controlling them, because this person,”—he turned his gaze towards the side, off of yours’—“would never feel the same.  She said she was willing to work on it with me.  To wait.”

“That’s really nice of her,” you said quietly.  Recounting all your moments with Marlene—making small talk with her, talking about her with Sirius—you had never remembered complimenting her so genuinely.

“I know,” Sirius breathed.  He was ruffling the back of his long hair with one hand.  “Especially because, at the end of the day, I couldn’t stop my feelings.  She took that surprisingly well.  Maybe she was expecting it.  But then she started saying maybe it was for the better, leading to her listing off all of the problems she had with me that she wouldn’t have to deal with anymore.    And all of that I told you.”

You nodded, lips pursed.  “Why didn’t you tell me the rest of it, though?”  Something inside of you answered the question before Sirius could; it was that possibility, only made possible by your own parallel experience, that could make you think such an answer was even fathomable.  Made your heart start to pound in your chest out of anticipation.

“You want to know?”

You couldn’t help yourself.  Instead of affirming, you began, “Was it—”

“You?  Yes.”  A moment passed, then, “It still is.”

Your cheeks burned crimson and your heart was a car alarm inside of your chest, just ringing, ringing, ringing.  Pushing off of your still-flatly-pressed hands, you landed in front of Sirius.  There wasn’t much space between the edge of your bed and his body; usually, such close proximity would worry you, make you think you would expose your feelings with embarrassing certainty.  But now it barley mattered.

One last question echoed in your ear:

“Are you even going to tell him how you feel?”  Your lack of answer was answer enough.  “I can’t believe you aren’t going to tell him, but are willing to break us up over it.”

Watch me, you thought.

You observed your hands press against Sirius’ chest as if watching from the other side of a dream.  But this was so real; the thinness of the fabric, the motion of his breath, the tremble of your fingertips.  

“It was you, too,” you said, gaze still on his chest (you wondered, for a moment, how he had enough courage to look you in the eyes while admitting his feelings).  “I love you, Sirius.”

When you finally looked up, you found that his eyes were already staring down at you.  For a moment, all the world was were your two pairs of eyes, the drumming of your heart, and his breath against your fingertips.  Then, he tipped his head and leaned down, pressing your mouths together, rushing his hands onto your back.

His lips tasted like coffee and kissing him sent a similar sensation of warm awakening through your body.  He kissed you like he was letting a wave knock him over; he allowed all of himself to surge into the motion.  Your fingers tugged at the front of his shirt, for balance, for proximity, for intimacy.

When the kiss broke, your foreheads pressed together, your panting breaths intermixed in the small space of air left between lips.  “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” you admitted.  Sirius smiled like he had just learned how to.

You let your forehead slip, to drop down and then rest on his chest.  Heavy breathing filled the room, then flattened out.

The lovely silence was broken by Sirius’ voice.  It was rougher around the edges, not cold, but calloused, all from one kiss.  “You’re not a monster.  I don’t care what he says and you shouldn’t, either.  You can’t control your feelings.”

“I could have told him sooner,” you said, unsure of why you were still taking his side if you got to be next to Sirius’ now, for as long as he would let you.

“Maybe.”  Sirius paused for a moment.  “But then it wouldn’t have been genuine.  I think it would have seemed more like you expected him to do more and make you fall out of love.  Like blaming him for not being enough and expecting him to figure out how to be.”

“I guess.”

Sirius’ hands moved from your back, sliding up your shirt all the way to your face, cupping the sides of it.  “Listen.  You thought it would work.  It didn’t.  You never gave up on him because you knew he was a good guy—which, honestly, I’m starting to think might not be true—but not because you wanted him to struggle.  You wanted to love him because you thought he deserved it, not because you wanted to trick him and break his heart.”

Something inside of you broke and you leaned into Sirius further.  His thumbs were stroking your cheeks before the tears even started, but became ever the more useful for wiping the drops off of your face.

Even still, you sunk down further, letting your head drop back down on his chest, not caring that your tears would soak your face.  You slipped your hands out from between your bodies and wrapped your arms around his back, pressing your bodies into a hug.

“Thank you,” you whispered, tone full of tears but heart full of hope.  

“You’re not a monster.  You’ve never been one.”

“I’m not a monster,” you repeated to yourself, jaw barely moving against Sirius’ tear-stained shirt.  “I’m not a monster.”

⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added): @siriuslyimmoony @astertist @who-cares-unknown @neewtmas @theseuscmander @boring-viola @diggorysghost @gryffndor @finnofamerica @the-apple-princess @theboywhocriedlupin @sly-vixen-up2nogood @bluemadcnna @lonelyheart-jadedsoul @jamcspotters @siriusement @just-some-nerd @wzardings  @niffleurs @swellwriting @blimey-ron @portkeys-and-prose @solarishashernoseinabook @th3maraud3rsmap @themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy

[princesse-de-ravenclaw]

I’m With You

Request: Hey, first of all i would like to say that i’m honestly in love with your blog! Ugh it’s so awesome! I would like to request a Young!Siriusxreader imagine where the reader is a part of the Marauder gang together with Lily And Marlene. One night Sirius is update about something. the reader comforts him And they fall a sleep cuddling. Later he talks to the others how he can’t think about Anything else than her and how wonderful it was and they help him with confessing his love. Hope this is okay!

And

Hi dear! I hope you get lots of ideas to help get your brain juices flowing 😊 maybe I can help? I think it would be cool to see how you’d approach a Sirius x reader where the reader is perhaps in a compromising/unhealthy relationship with someone, and Sirius goes all protective mode, and the reader takes shelter in him, awakening feels in both of them. Just an idea!!! All the luck on your requests💕☺️

Word count: 5,454 (well damn)

Warning: This fic does involve a verbally abusive relationship, and a little bit of violence towards the middle. If this is something you know you can’t handle, please don’t read it. Take care of yourself. ♡

***************************************************************************************

“Did you hear about the witch who won the lottery?” Sirius asked as he and Y/N made their way to the great hall for lunch. “Um, no?” Y/N furrowed her brow. “What about her?” “She went completely Knuts!” Sirius exclaimed, holding up a handful of bronze knuts. “Sirius, that is the worst joke I’ve ever heard in my life,” Y/N laughed, shaking her head. “Maybe, but you’re laughing, so it served its purpose,” he shrugged. “You’ve seemed a bit down, lately. It’s nice to see that smile of yours coming back,” he gave her a gentle nudge as they entered the great hall. “Thank you, Sirius. Really,” she smiled up at him gratefully.

“Sweetheart, I’ve been looking for you. You weren’t at our usual meet up spot,” A voice interrupted. “Sorry mate, didn’t mean to keep your girl from you. Just wanted to try out a new joke on her. I’ll let you have her back now. See you around, Y/N,” Sirius threw her a wink before strutting away to sit with the rest of the marauders, Y/N’s boyfriend glaring after him.

“I’m so sorry, Andrew. I was talking to Sirius when we left class, and we got to where I was supposed to meet you, but you weren’t there, and Sirius was still talking and I didn’t want to be rude and make him stop, so I-” Y/N was rambling, but Andrew cut her off. “Shut up. I don’t give a damn. You shouldn’t have been speaking to him anyway. He doesn’t care about you, he just wants to get between your legs. You just aren’t smart enough to see it,” He snapped.

“I can’t just ice him out… he’s my friend,” Y/N mumbled, ducking her head as she spoke. “Of course he is,” Andrew laughed without humor. “Him, Potter, Lupin, Pettigrew, Evans, McKinnon,” He laughed again. “They don’t care about you, why would they? You’re worthless! You’re lucky you even have me,” he scoffed. “Andrew, I’m sor-” Y/N tried, but Andrew cut her off once again. “Shut up! You can have lunch by yourself, I can’t even stand to look at you right now,” Andrew snarled, turning on his heel and storming off. Y/N took a deep breath and tried to fight back her tears as she made her way to an empty table and sat down, her appetite long gone.

“Is that Y/N over there by herself?” James asked his friends. “She should be eating with Andrew..” Sirius mumbles as he turned around to follow James’ eyes. “I believe it is,” He furrowed his brow. “Well, let’s go join her,” Remus shrugged, standing up. James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, and Marlene followed and the six teenagers made their way over to where Y/N was sitting. James plopped down in front of her, ready to make a joke, but he stopped in his tracks to see Y/N holding back tears. “Y/N, what’s wrong, love? What happened?” He asked, concern evident in his voice. Y/N shook her head and blinked back her tears. “It’s nothing,” she said quietly.

“Where did Andrew go, darling? He just met up with you.. Is he the reason you’re so upset?” Sirius asked, putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulder. Y/N gnawed on her bottom lip for a moment and then sighed before she answered, “We got into an argument and he left. It was stupid, and completely my fault.” “Do you want to talk about it, Hun?” Lily spoke up, but Y/N shook her head rapidly. “No. In fact, I really need to go find him and apologize,” Y/N shrugged out of Sirius’s grip and stood up. “Come find us if you need anything!” Remus called as Y/N made to exit the great hall. “Don’t forget, we’re all hanging out in the common room after dinner!” Marlene added.

Y/N searched the school until she found Andrew in the Library. “Can I talk to you?” She asked him in a hushed voice as soon as she was close enough. Andrew raised an eyebrow, and Y/N took it as an opportunity to grab his hand and lead him out of the library so they could talk at a normal volume. “Andrew, I’m so sorry I upset you!” Y/N started as soon as they were outside of the library doors. “I love you so much, and I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy and-” “It’s okay, baby. I forgive you,” Andrew cut her off, letting her sink into his embrace. “What do you say we skip evening classes and go back to my dorm, yeah?” Andrew murmured into her ear, earning an enthusiastic nod from Y/N. He took her hand and lead her to the common room, sneaking her down the stairs to his room.

After a relatively peaceful afternoon in Andrew’s room, Y/N glanced over at the clock and noticed the time. “Oh, man. Dinner is over. I’ve got to go,” she announced, jumping up from the bed and grabbing her clothes from on top of Andrew’s trunk. “Excuse me? Where exactly do you have to go?” Andrew scowled as Y/N quickly changed out of Andrew’s pajamas and back into her clothes. “I made plans last week to hang out with Lily and Marlene and the guys in the common room tonight,” Y/N explained, leaning over to peck Andrew’s cheek before rushing out of his dorm and up the stairs before he could even register what happened. After a moment, Andrew shot up out of the bed and bounded after her, catching up just before Y/N made it to the common room.

“I don’t recall saying that you could leave,” Andrew snarled, grabbing Y/N’s wrist tightly and yanking her back to him, not letting her go. “I had already made the plans with them,” Y/N mumbled, ducking her head. “I already told you not to hang out with them,” Andrew snapped. “Just let me spend a couple of hours with them, and then I’ll come spend the night with you, yeah?” Y/N pleaded hopefully. She reached up to cup Andrew’s face in her hand, but he swatted it away. “They don’t want you, you worthless piece of shit! Are you too stupid to understand that? Are you too stupid to do what you’re told?” He seethed, fighting his grip on her wrist. Y/N bit her lip and tried her hardest to fight back her tears. Andrew didn’t like when she cried.

“Answer me, you little bitch!” He barked, unaware that another person was making his way up the stairs behind him. “Andrew, you’re hurting me,” Y/N whimpered, gently trying to twist her wrist out of his grip. “I didn’t fucking ask that,” Andrew snarled, yanking Y/N so that she was flush against his body and he was towering over her. He learned his head down a little so his nose was almost touching hers. “You worthless piece of shit. When are you going to realize-” “You have three seconds to let go of her, or the next time I ask I won’t be so nice,” Sirius’ voice came from behind Andrew, but Andrew stood his ground. “This isn’t any of your business, Black. Run along,” he snapped, not letting go of Y/N, or making to move away from her. “Well, you see, it sort of is my business, because that is one of my best friends you’ve currently got your filthy little hands on. Oh, and your three seconds are up,” Sirius replied coolly.

Within half a second, Andrew was being yanked away from Y/N and Sirius had landed a a right hook, straight into Andrew’s cheekbone. With a grunt, Andrew retaliated by throwing a solid punch to Sirius’ nose. Sirius nearly growled, and tackled Andrew, causing both boys to tumble down a few stairs onto the next landing, Y/N running after them. Sirius used all of his strength to land on top of Andrew, and began throwing punches below him, where Andrew sat. “Stop!” Y/N cried, finally finding her voice. “That’s not how you fucking treat a lady,” Sirius panted, obviously growing tired, but not letting up for a second. “Especially not that amazing one,” Sirius lost his focus for one moment to point over to Y/N, and Andrew got the opportunity to land a swing on Sirius’s jaw. “Boys, please! Stop!” Y/N begged, only to be ignored once again.

“’M sorry mate,” Sirius snarled, shifting his weight so that Andrew was completely pinned beneath him. “It seems you have failed to realize that you are not in control of this situation.” Sirius was able to get one more punch in before Y/N placed a hand on his arm and gently tugged. “Please, Sirius,” she whimpered. “Stop.” Sirius’ eyes softened and he stood up, protectively putting his arm around the shaking girl. “You bother her again, I will not hesitate to make every second of the rest of your life hell,” Sirius growled to Andrew before leading Y/N up to the common room.

“Oi, Padfoot!” James exclaimed as Y/N and Sirius emerged from the stairway.  "How long does it take to go to the room and grab some- what the bloody hell happened to your face?!“ James exclaimed as he walked closer to Sirius and Y/N, who were still standing at the entrance to the common room. “I’ll explain later. Y/N and I are gonna take a rain check on hanging out tonight,” Sirius answered, giving Y/N a gentle squeeze. James wanted to press for more, but Y/N was quite obviously shaken up, so he thought better of it. “I’ll let the others know. Do you need anything, mate?” James asked carefully. “D'you need anything, Love?” Sirius asked Y/N gently. She shook her head, keeping her eyes on the floor. “We’re alright. Thank you, Prongs,” Sirius and James shook hands before Sirius lead Y/N back to the marauders’ room.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Sirius asked softly as he lead Y/N to sit on his bed. “I think so,” she nodded, “Just a little shaken up.” “May I see your wrist, love?” Sirius held out his hand, and Y/N reluctantly reached out to let him inspect her wrist. “Padfoot, I think your nose is a little worse off than my arm,” she spoke up with a slight smile as Sirius gently brushed his fingers over her wrist. “What, this ugly thing? It’s always looked like this,” Sirius joked, earning a laugh from the small girl sitting in front of him. “We can worry about me after we worry about you,” Sirius assured her, continuing to looking at her wrist. “It’s starting to bruise,” he murmured. “I’m okay, Sirius, really,” Y/N promised. “If it will make you feel better, I’ll go see Madame Pomfrey tomorrow morning,” she placed a hand on his cheek. “Okay,” Sirius turned his head to place a kiss to Y/N’s hand, and winced when his nose brushed against her palm. “Let me fix it,” Y/N offered softly. “Alright,” Sirius nodded. Y/N stood and lead Sirius to take a seat on the bed, standing between his legs as she pulled out her wand from her robe pocket and pointed it at Sirius’ nose. “Episkey,” she said softly. A loud crack and a groan from Sirius later, Sirius’ nose was back to normal.

Y/N immediately stood up and shed her robe, and then began to look around the room until she found a facecloth. She returned to her spot between Sirius’ legs, pointed her wand at the cloth, and muttered “Aguamenti,” letting the cloth get damp enough for her liking. “This will probably be a little cold,” she warned softly. Sirius closed his eyes placed his hands on Y/N’s waist to brace himself. As soon as Y/N dabbed to the cloth on his face, Sirius’ grip tightened. “Fucking hell,” he hissed. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m almost done,” Y/N told him, pulling the cloth away from his nose for a moment. Sirius nodded, and Y/N returned to cleaning the blood away from his nose.

“There,” Y/N finally smiled. “Now your nose is just as cute as it was before.” “You think my nose is cute?” Sirius waggled his eyebrows. “Doesn’t everyone?” Y/N quipped. “I suppose,” Sirius shrugged with a smirk, before standing up and digging around his trunk for some pajamas. He pulled out a pair of sweatpants for himself, and handed a long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of boxers to Y/N. “This will probably be a bit more comfortable than your uniform,” he chuckled at the confused face she gave him. “I supposed you’re right,” Y/N nodded with a slight smile.

Sirius plopped onto his bed as soon as he finished changing. “Alright, Love. Now that we’ve assessed our external damage, are you ready to talk about what was going on out there?” He asked gently. Y/N shrugged as she sat down next to him on the bed. “That was the first time he ever got physical with me,” Y/N admitted. “Usually… usually I can handle when he gets mad, I was just afraid, because he hadn’t done that before,” she explained, staring down at her fingers fiddling with the sleeve of her shirt. “But it was my fault,” Y/N added quickly. “He told me not to go, and I did. He only ever yelled when I didn’t listen to him, or if I did something he didn’t like. And I didn’t ever intentionally do anything to make him upset, but-” Y/N was rambling, but Sirius gently interrupted her. “Y/N, sweetheart… none of that was your fault. You have to know that, love.” Y/N glanced over at him, finally taking her eyes off of her sleeve.

“The way he treated you, the things he said to you… I guarantee that you could not have done anything to deserve that. Y/N… that guy is massively fucked up in the head. He could be expelled for treating you like that. He should be expelled for it! None of the things he said are true… you know that, right, Love?” Sirius asked softly.  Y/N shrugged, gnawing on her lip and keeping her eyes on the floor as she tried to hold her tears back. “Hey, come on, Y/N/N,” Sirius opened his arms and Y/N crawled into his lap, burying her face in the crook of his neck as her tears started to fall. “Hey, you know we all love you. Me, and Prongs, and Moony, and Wormtail, and Evans, and McKinnon. All of us. You know that,” he cooed, gently running his fingers through Y/N’s hair. Y/N sniffled in response.

“Y/N, you are so smart, and sweet, and funny… you’re amazing, angel,” Sirius nudged Y/N’s temple with his nose. She still didn’t respond, but held onto him a little tighter. “I’m so sorry that he put you through that, but you have to listen to me when I tell you you that he was so, so wrong. Anything negative he said to you, Y/N, it isn’t true. I can’t even think of one negative thing about you. He just threw hateful words at you to make you feel more dependent on him. But you are so much better than him, sweetheart. So much better,” Sirius told her softly. Y/N nuzzled further into his neck and finally spoke up in a whisper, “Thank you, Sirius.” “You’re welcome, Love. I’m always here for you,” he assured her, still running a hand through her hair. “C'mon. Let’s lay down for a bit, yeah?” Sirius suggested. Y/N nodded into his neck and let go of him, sinking down into the covers. Sirius followed right behind her, pulling her close to him and burying his face into her neck. The two laid in silence for a bit before Sirius placed a soft kiss behind Y/N’s ear, and the pair fell asleep shortly after.

Y/N snuggled into something warm as she woke up, but her bliss was cut short as she began to remember everything that had occurred the night before. She moved to sit up, but a large hand gently pulled her back. “Morning, Love. How are you feeling?” Sirius asked, his voice raspy with sleep as he nuzzled into her neck. “Better I think,” Y/N shrugged before turning to face Sirius. “How’s your wrist?” He asked her. “It’s alright. A little sore,” Y/N admitted. “Let me look at it,” Sirius instructed, placing a kiss to Y/N’s nose before sitting up. Y/N sat up as well, offering her arm for Sirius to inspect. “The bruising is definitely more prominent,” Sirius frowned. “Ready to go to Madame Pomfrey?” Y/N shook her head.

“I’d actually like to go take a shower first.. Is that okay? I’ll take a shower, see Madame Pomfrey, and then meet up with you later?” Y/N asked. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to ask for permission. Whatever you’d like to do is fine,” Sirius assured her. “Okay,” Y/N nodded. “I’m going to go back to my dorm and take a shower,” she stated. “Alright, love,” Sirius chuckled. He sat in bed for a few minutes after Y/N left before changing out of his pajamas and making his way to the common room, where he found all of his friends getting ready to head to the great hall for breakfast. “Morning, Pads. Is Y/N okay?” Remus asked as soon as Sirius approached them. “Wait, what was wrong with Y/N? She seemed a little out of it at lunch yesterday, but I didn’t see her after. I figured she just spent the night with Andrew,” Marlene added. “Y/N is fine, she and Andrew are no longer together, and if you ever see him near her again, hex the hell out of him,” Sirius announced. “I didn’t like that guy anyway. I will gladly hex him into next year,” Lily shrugged.

“Alright, next topic,” James smirked as they sat down for breakfast. “You and Y/N looked pretty cozy this morning.” Sirius couldn’t help the light blush that crept across his cheeks. “I mean, she had a rough night. What better way to cheer someone up and make them feel safe than to cuddle them?” He supplied. “Black, I would totally believe you… if it weren’t for the fact that you’re blushing like Peter when any girl talks to him,” Marlene cocked an eyebrow. “Sirius Orion Black, is there something you’re not telling us?” Lily feigned offense. “I mean I care a lot about Y/N, obviously,” Sirius shrugged. “And it made my blood boil when I saw the way that Andrew was treating her,” he added. “And it was really nice waking up next to her…” Sirius trailed off. “I think that maybe the whole thing made me realize that my feelings for her are deeper than just friendly,” He finally admitted.

“I think you’d be good for her,” Lily announced. Sirius’ eyebrows shot up. “You do?” He asked her, surprised. “I mean, yeah. You’re one of her best friends, you care for her and you know her well, you’re the only one so far who really knows what went on with her and Andrew, and you seem to be helping her through that quite well. I think that she could, and has, definitely done a lot worse,” Lily smiled at him, her words making his heart speed up. “Should I talk to her about it now, or should I wait?” Sirius asked nervously.

“What are we waiting for?” Y/N asked as she took a seat next to him. “Nothing, Love.. How’s your wrist?” He shook his head, ushering her down the table a little before turning to face her. “100% better,” Y/N replied, pulling up her sleeve to show Sirius that the bruise was completely gone. “Good. It doesn’t hurt anymore?” He clarified. “It doesn’t hurt anymore,” she assured him with a small smile. “I’m glad. How are you feeling?” Sirius lowered his voice and searched Y/N’s face for any signs of uneasiness. Y/N shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m sad that we’re broken up, but it also feels like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders,” she admitted. “I was always so worried about keeping him happy and not doing anything that would upset him, it kept me really stressed out all the time.” “Y/N, you know that isn’t love, right? That is someone emotionally abusing you and manipulating you into worshipping them and completely ignoring yourself,” Sirius took Y/N’s hand as tears started to prick her eyes. “I know,” she nodded.

Y/N looked around to see if the other marauders were paying attention and was relieved to find them deep in conversation with Lily and Marlene. “I know,” She repeated. “It’s just going to take some adjusting.” “Well I’m with you, every step of the way, love,” Sirius assured her, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead. Y/N squeezed Sirius’ hand, “Thank you, Sirius.” “Of course, angel,” Sirius brought her hand up to his lips and placed another gentle kiss. “Have you eaten? Are you hungry?” He asked, noticing that Y/N’s plate was empty. Y/N shook her head. “No you haven’t eaten or no you aren’t hungry?” Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Neither,” Y/N stated. “I haven’t eaten and I’m not hungry.” “When was the last time you ate? Because you left lunch yesterday and I didn’t see you at dinner,” Sirius looked at her expectantly and Y/N thought for a minute. “I think I had some toast for breakfast yesterday…” she trailed off. “With everything happening, I’m really too stressed to eat, Padfoot,” she sighed. “Love, you’ve got to stay healthy.. will you please just eat a few grapes for me?” Sirius tried to reason with her. Y/N gnawed on her lip for a few moments before giving in and reaching for some grapes.

“Oi, you two, we’re planning on going to hogsmead when we finish eating, care to join us?” James spoke up from down the table. “Would you like to go, Love? Or would you rather stay in and relax? I’m up for whatever you want,” Sirius asked Y/N. Y/N smiled and nodded. “That sounds like fun. Let’s go with them,” she said in a timid voice. “Need you to speak up, babe. You’re in charge,” Sirius grinned at her, causing her smile to grow and her cheeks to grow pink. “Let’s go with them,” she said with more confidence. “As you wish,” Sirius winked at her before standing up and offering her his hand. “We’re ready when you are,” he smiled to James.

“Y/N, I saw a dress at Gladrag’s last week that would look so good on you, we have to take you to it!” Marlene announced as the 7 young wizards entered Hogsmead. “Are you talking about that light pink one?” Lily exclaimed. “Yes! With the sweetheart neckline!” Marlene gushed. “Oh, Y/N you really have to see it! It was made for you!” Lily encouraged her. “Yeah, sure,” Y/N smiled, “Let’s go see it.” “As fun as that sounds,” James grimaced, “I’d really like to do anything other than go dress shopping. How about the lads and I go down to Spintwitches and meet you ladies at the Three Broomsticks for lunch in half an hour or so?” He suggested. “That’s fine,” Lily shrugged. “Men,” she leaned over and muttered to Y/N, earning a laugh from her.

“I’d actually like to see this light pink dress with the sweetheart neckline that was practically made for Y/N,” Sirius spoke up. “What the bloody hell, mate?” Peter laughed. “Padfoot, do you even know what a sweetheart neckline is?” Remus raised an eyebrow. “Well, no, but… do you?” Sirius huffed. “Yes, actually,” Remus smirked. “Well I still want to go,” Sirius furrowed his brow and pushed his hair back. “Moony, stop giving him a hard time. You can come with us, Sirius,” Y/N smiled up at him and grabbed his hand as she and the other girls started towards the clothing store.

“Over here, Y/N!” Marlene called. “This one.” “Oh, Merlin,” Y/N sighed, “it’s beautiful.” “Try it on,” Sirius’ voice came from behind her, causing her to jump. “Sorry, love, didn’t mean to frighten you,” he chuckled. “But really, you should try it on.” “Oh, I don’t know,” Y/N smiled, shaking her head. “You sure?” Sirius waggled his eyebrows. “Alright, I want to a little bit,” Y/N admitted. Sirius continued to stare at her with his eyebrows raised and a slight smirk resting on his lips. “Okay, so I want to a lot, geez! Stop looking at me like that, I’m doing it!” Y/N laughed, covering Sirius’ face with her hands. “Only because you want to, right, Love?” Sirius grinned, taking her hands in his and bringing them away from his face. “Only because I want to,” Y/N confirmed with a nod. “Good,” Sirius gave her hands a gentle squeeze, “That’s my girl.” Y/N bit her lip and looked down, trying to hide the blush covering her cheeks. “I’m um, I’m gonna go try it on,” she said softly, pulling her hands out of Sirius’ and taking the dress off of the rack.

“MERLIN’S BEARD YOU ARE SO HOT CAN I MARRY YOU?” Marlene shouted as Y/N stepped out of the dressing room. “Marlene!” Y/N giggled. “Keep your voice down! People are going to stare!” “They should!” Lily interjected. “Look at you! Where’s Sirius? Sirius!” Lily called. Sirius was approaching the girls within seconds. “What’s up Evans- whoa,” He smiled as he saw Y/N. “Good whoa, or bad whoa?” Y/N asked, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. “Good whoa, definitely,” Sirius assured her. “You look beautiful, Love.” “Thank you, Sirius,” Y/N blushed. “I think I’m going to buy it,” Y/N stated. “Yeah?” Sirius smiled. “Yeah,” Y/N nodded. “I’ll just go change back into my clothes and then I’ll pay for it and we can go, if we’re all done here,” she announced.

As Y/N went back to the dressing room, Sirius made his way to the counter. “Excuse me, the pink dress that was in the window, how much is it?” He asked the shop owner. “What are you up to, Black?” Marlene raised an eyebrow as she approached him. “Nothing Y/N doesn’t deserve,” he shrugged, his cheeks turning a bit pink. “It’s 10 Galleons,” The owner informed him. “A girl is about to come up here to buy it, don’t let her pay a Knut. Here,” he instructed, handing over 10 galleons. “That’s sweet of you,” the lady smiled as she took the coins. “Very sweet,” Marlene agreed, shooting him a knowing look. “Okay, I’m ready!” Y/N called, making her way over from the dressing rooms. “I’ll meet you girls outside,” Sirius called back. “Me, too,” Marlene called, following him out. “I’m right behind you!” Lily added, making her way to the door as well. “Ookay then,” Y/N muttered to herself.

“Excuse me, miss,” She spoke up when she reached the desk. “I’d like to purchase-” “It’s already been paid for, dear,” the lady at the desk cut her off. “What?” Y/N laughed nervously. “It seems you have a handsome admirer,” the lady winked, taking the dress from Y/N and folding it before placing it in a bag. “I what?” Y/N asked, eyes wide. The lady subtly motioned to Sirius standing outside. “He must be very sweet,” she told Y/N. Y/N laughed lightly. “He is, yeah,” she blushed. Have a nice day, dear,“ the lady gave Y/N a knowing smile before handing her the bag. “And good luck.”

“So, everyone ready to head to The Three Broomsticks?” Sirius asked nonchalantly as Y/N exited the shop. “Yeah,” “Let’s go,” Lily and Marlene shrugged and began walking. Sirius made to follow them, but Y/N took his hand and held him back for a moment. “Everything okay, Love?” He asked her, still playing it cool. “Thank you, Sirius,” Y/N said softly, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “You didn’t have to do that.” “I know I didn’t. I wanted to. You’ve had a rough couple of months and an extremely rough couple of days. You deserved a break,” he shrugged. “Still.. Thank you,” Y/N reached over to give his hand a squeeze before she started walking to catch up with Lily and Marlene. “Hey,” Sirius spoke up as he followed her through Hogsmead. “Hm?” Y/N raised her eyebrows, but didn’t stop looking for Lily and Marlene to look at Sirius. “How would you like to go to Madam Puddifoot’s and we can meet up with everyone else back at school?” He offered, causing Y/N to stop in her tracks. “I’d like that,” she smiled. Sirius offered her his arm and she took it, letting him lead her to the tea shop.

The two were seated in a small booth at the back of the shop. The place was unusually empty. Other than a two or three couples scattered around the place, Y/N and Sirius were the only patrons. “Y/N, can I talk to you about something?” Sirius spoke up after their tea had been served. “Um, yeah, of course?” Y/N nodded. “I know it’s not the best time, but I feel like I’m not being completely honest with you if I don’t tell you, and you deserve to know,” Sirius started. “Pads, I appreciate you trying to be gentle about it but you’re kind of freaking me out. What’s up?” Y/N laughed nervously. “I just- I really like you, Y/N/N, and I don’t expect you to feel the same way, I know you just got out of a horrible relationship. I just wanted you to know,” He explained, gnawing on his bottom lip as he waited for her response.

“Sirius, I,” Y/N took a deep breath. “I want to say that I like you, too, but that wouldn’t be fair to you. A lot has happened in the last day and a half, and I really don’t know how I’m feeling,” she bit her lip. Sirius nodded his head, keeping his eyes down on the table in front of him. “I think I like you,” Y/N admitted. Sirius raised his eyebrows and looked up from the table to her. “You make me happy, you always have. You make me feel like I’m worth something, like I’m special. I feel safe with you,” Y/N shrugged. “I just don’t want to mistake any of that for something more because I’m a little unstable right now,” she laughed nervously, earning a chuckle from Sirius. “I don’t think you’re unstable, but I understand,” he assured her with a nod. It was silent for a moment. “I think I’d like to try,” Y/N spoke up. “Yeah?” Sirius asked, surprised. “Yeah. If we could go really slow, let me figure things out and stuff,” she shrugged. “Of course, yeah,” Sirius nodded.

“Do you want to? Even if I need to go really slow, and if I’m still trying to work out my feelings? I don’t want this to be like "post-breakup” feelings and then you end up hating me forever-“ "Y/N, I couldn’t hate you even if I wanted to. I want whatever makes you happy,” Sirius interrupted her. Y/N shook her head. “I want to know what you want, Sirius. This isn’t just about me, it’s about both of us,” she told him. “I want to be with you, Y/N. Even if we have to go crazy slow. Even if it you do have to work out your feelings. Especially if it’s for real and not "post-breakup” feelings… does it feel like that? Like you don’t really have feelings for me?“ He asked nervously. "No,” Y/N shook her head. “It feels real,” she said quietly. “Well that’s good enough for me. I’d like to be with you while you sort everything out,” he smiled, taking her hand. “Crazy super slow?” She asked with doe eyes. “Crazy super slow,” Sirius smiled, bringing her hand up to his lips. “I’m with you, my love.”

A/N: I’M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT I FINALLY DID IT!! ♡♡♡ Let me know what you think but please be nice! 

Tagging my lovelies @ra-veela-claw @i-mean-siriusly-come-on @argentinemango @kbaille92 @allertonn and @espressoo-patronum ♡♡♡

Masterlist

Buy me a cup of coffee