#someone write this for me

[debilsposts]

Dumb long-ass hc time because my writer's block blocks me from writing

Jaytim, but no one really knows what their relationship status is anymore BECAUSE they act differently around each other every time depending on whether they’re wearing masks or not. 

1. Red Robin & Red Hood: Professional Rivals (and a disaster duo)

When RR and RH are together, the volume automatically goes up. They argue in briefings, in the middle of fights, over comms. Those two show up all suited up and everyone knows that it will take one tiny shove from RH or a comment from RR to start it. Or none of that – when someone is dumb enough to ask if they can act civil around each other. 

RH calls RR a “detective” in the most mocking tone ever. RR says that RH is clearly better fed than taught. 

When they’re on a mission together, it’s a competition –  Who takes down more guys? Who gets the last word? Who can piss off Batman faster?

RH threatens to kill RR at least once a week. RR dares him to try. 

2. Tim Drake & Jason Todd in Public: Pretending to be Normal (they are not normal, in fact!)

In public, Jason will hold the door open for Tim, but close it right in his face, too. Tim will bring Jason tea exactly how he likes it but take a sip first and dramatically gag. They insult each other constantly, but sometimes something too genuine slips out, and they both pretend not to notice.

Tim complains that Jason never comes to see him when he works, so Jason starts dropping by WE unannounced and sitting silently in Tim’s office, making eye contact but refusing to speak. Tim hates it. Jason loves it.

Bruce’s galas are a nightmare, even Dick’s acrobatics can’t make it more embarrassing for the big Bat. They are too flirty and no one knows what it means.

At some point, a clueless socialite always asks Tim, “Do you know that Jason Todd man?”

Tim: “Oh, we’ve met.”

Jason, walking by: “Barely. But yeah, we know each other.”

Tim: “Intimately.”

Jason chokes on his drink.

Jason waits until Tim has his own drink in hand, then deliberately bumps his elbow, making Tim spill it.

Tim subtly badmouths Jason to the rich snobs, saying things like, “He doesn’t even own a yacht. Can you believe that? I plan to give him one for his birthday, poor thing.”

SugarDaddyTim vibes

They kick each other on the shins under the table, but at the same time, they grin and tell stupid jokes. Bruce invites them less and less. 

3. Red Robin & Jason Todd (Civilian): Red Robin has a Jason problem

Tim is a little feral about Jason when he’s in costume. It’s not professionalism. It’s personal. 

Jason will take one step in Crime Alley, and Red Robin will be there like a demon summoned by bad life choices. AT THE SAME TIME Red Robin refuses to acknowledge Jason Todd as a vigilante. He acts like Jason is just a guy off the street who keeps showing up in his crime scenes. Oftentimes Jason is his primary suspect, and even Bruce is tired of it. 

Jason will be walking home with groceries when Red Robin lands dramatically in front of him.

Jason: “Unless you’re offering to carry my bags, move.”

RR: “Where were you an hour ago?”

Jason: “Buying milk???”

RR: “That’s what they all say.”

Jason: “I literally have the receipt???”

RR: “That proves nothing.”

Jason tweets that Red Robin fights like a girl. Next day, Spoiler, Oracle, Black Bat and Batwoman are waiting for him to have a little talk. 

4. Red Hood & Tim Drake (Civilian): The World’s Most Deranged Thirst Posting (Tim is also the most frequently kidnapped man alive)

Tim has made it his life’s mission to objectify Red Hood online

“Red Hood could snap me in half like a glowstick, and I’d say thank you.”

“I would let Red Hood throw me off a building. No hesitation.”

“You guys don’t understand. He’s so big. His thighs are so thick I want them to crush me. He’s so–”

Tim will also randomly start talking shit on Red Hood from his burner account. He’d post something like “Red Hood’s helmet is actually pink, I tried it on his photos. If you take an eyedropper and read the colors, it’s actually closer to pinky-orange than it is to red.” RH naturally answers him by telling to stfu because he’s being picky, and Tim writes back that this is how eyedropper actually works.

Tim posts blurry, unflattering photos of Red Hood mid-fight.

“Caught in 4K looking stupid.”

Jason hates it. He keeps trying to smash Tim’s phone.

Tim also loves spreading misinformation on purpose.

“Red Hood listens to MCR. I have no proof, but I have no doubts.”

Red Hood will kidnap Tim in the middle of any event chosen by Tim. He just has to text Hood in advance. RH will keep him for a few hours and return him slightly bruised, hair messy, clothes disheveled. Poor Tim must have been tortured, since his eyes are glossy as if he was crying, his neck and shoulders are covered in bruises, and his face is awfully red. 

When someone asks, he says that Red Hood is lame, and he could take him anytime (in a fight, right???)

EXTRA:

5. Tim Drake & Jason Todd when they’re alone: The Part That Matters

In private, Jason clings to Tim like a drowning man holding onto something solid. He buries his face in Tim’s throat, breathing in like he’s afraid of forgetting what he smells like. Tim doesn’t say anything, just cards his fingers through Jason’s hair, steady and slow, letting Jason take what he needs. He reads him a Jason’s books of choice sometimes. 

Jason puts his head on Tim’s chest when they cuddle, sometimes even holds his wrist – fingers pressing against his pulse, reassuring himself: Here. Alive. Breathing.

There’s no bark. No fighting. No masks, no Red Hood, no Red Robin.

Just Jason and Tim. Just the things they don’t have to show to the world.

[kingstarkingslay]

“ Make our barista laugh and get a free coffee “

except it’s Wolfstar where Sirius is the barista and Remus is the customer who tries to make him laugh.

Bonus: it could also be Jegulus with Regulus as the barista

[sagisbrainrot]

bingliushen omegaverse au where while out trying to handle disputes between demons and humans, bingqiu run into alpha!lqg while he’s hunting. Lqg of course decides to help them and they end up in some odd palace that even sqq knows little about. While navigating the area, omega!sqq and alpha!lqg get separated from lbh and trapped. On their way back to lbh, liushen unknowingly stumbles upon a plant that not only temporarily swapped their secondary sex (including their scents), but also induced heats / ruts

[ogcalesgf]

windbreaker | suonire, vampire au!

a silly little au with the idea that vampires can’t enter human’s homes unless they’re verbally invited.

but it’s human! nirei who often forgets that he has to always ALWAYS invite vampire! suo in his house to get him to come in.

it was the xx century, and nobody really is scared of non-humans anymore, so they now happily coexist with everyone without having to hide their races.

co-workers turned lovers suo and nirei has been dating for a while now, with their friends rooting for them after painstakingly witnessing the unbearable years of pining.

but there’s just one thing that nirei couldn’t get the hang of.

he always ALWAYS forgets to invite his boyfriend in his house.

other races, and not just vampires, have their own certain rules they abide by. being non-humans, the laws of nature decided that they have to have some sort of restrictions on them unlike people who only has the law and justice system to follow through.

now, to the matter at hand; nirei, not really being used at the thought of suo being a vampire, often forgets to invite him in his house. they’ve not been dating for long, while friends for almost five years— it’s only been six months since they started dating.

the thing is, in those six months, heck— in those six years, they’ve never really went to each other’s house until suo proposed that they live together at nirei’s convenience.

nirei, elated at the idea of seeing suo in his normal days and not just at work, agreed to live together. but, it was suo’s idea for them to live in nirei’s apartment, since the blonde would be a lot more comfortable in his own space.

for whatever reason, the rules that a vampire must be invited in someone else’s house for them to be able to enter is only invalid once they’ve both have ownership of the house. and since they’ve only started dating, nirei doesn’t have the heart to share the ownership with suo, since his grandmother has strictly given it to him as some sort of emergency home.

“aki-kun, i want you to keep this place as your home. the one where you rest in, when you’re tired of it all, or if you wanted space and a room to breathe after a very stressful phase in your life. don’t sell, nor share the ownership with just anyone.”

it was understandable for suo, so he didn’t ask for anything like that. if anything, the topic only came up when sakura asked him about it, then suo and nirei had a conversation about it.

“akihiko, i asked to live with you, because i wanted to. and i did say it was on your own convenience, so i don’t want you to feel that you need to be forced to do something, okay? we can just postpone the plan if you want to.” suo said with a rare genuine smile as he pats nirei’s head.

well, needless to say they still went along with it. so now, nirei has this problem of—

scenario 1:

“— and then, sakura-san jumped like a cat! kiryu-san was filming the whole thing and tsugeura-san was so confused—“ nirei stopped halfway in the living room as he turned to see a chuckling suo right outside the doorway.

“aH! come in, suo-san! i’m so sorry!!!”

scenario 2:

while nirei’s tiredly sitting in front of his dressing table, doing his night-time skin care routine, his phone pings.

his eyes widened at the message.

leo 🧛🏻💝

aki-kun, i hope you haven’t forgotten about me. though, i did say i was going to take a while parking the car.

he scrambled on his feet to back to the apartment’s entrance.

“please come in, hayato! waaah, i’m so so sorry!!” nirei whined, hugging him tightly.

“no harm done, my aki. let’s go?” suo laughed as he entered the apartment while holding nirei.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖๋ ࣭ ⭑

a lot of similar cases has happened, and if anything, their friends have now anticipated the stories that suo tells them at lunch. of how nirei often forgets to tell suo to come in, and how it happened.

it baffles them how each week, there’s a new way that nirei forgets to let suo in on their shared apartment. and they started betting on it after a month, courtesy of kiryu, of course.

“are they really betting on how i would forget, instead of being good friends to remind me of letting you in?!” nirei groaned as he pouted, while suo laughs at him, ruffling his hair. then he grumpily turned to his boyfriend.

“and you always enable them, hayato-kun! why don’t you remind me before i go in, anyways!?” he said, frustrated.

suo just chuckles before brushing it off. “we should get our lunch before it’s time to clock in, aki.”

it frankly doesn’t bother suo. he’s of course, initially shocked. he first thought, maybe nirei was just testing him or something along those lines, but then, he realized that his lover has nothing but trust on him.

it was the first time that a creature, much less, a human, has trusted him to be able to follow them into their home. after all, one of the prideful traits showed by humanity after co-existing, was to remind the non-humans of their restrictions. and so, it was a first for suo to encounter a human who doesn’t “let him in”.

his aki is really something.

and it was quite cute, really. nirei was always so apologetic about it, in a way where suo always feels pampered with his aki’s affections. he always is pampered by nirei in his own way, but nothing beats the attention that nirei gives when he’s fussing over suo because of his worries. nirei can be quite shy on a daily basis after all, and in these moments, suo could see that he can be quite bold.

his friends also doesn’t take those moments badly, as they see how nirei loves and trusts them all. because similarly to suo, kiryu who is a fae, also gets forgotten by nirei every time they have to work together in his apartment.

or how sakura, an oni, is always invited to a sleepover way before the suo and nirei started dating (which may or may not have caused a snappy suo). or how nire trusts tsugeura, and sugishita with his life— one time that the company trip they had was a literal disaster and they were in charge of saving nirei.

and nirei himself, admitted it that he kind of just expects everyone, especially his dear friends, and lover, to just share his space with him.

and so, everyone in the office, really adores the tiny little human nirei who just trusts his non-human friends so much!

it actually started as a short prompt of nirei just forgetting vampire! suo by the door whenever he yaps on their way home, and everyone gets a good laugh about it. but now we have this 🥹

[goth1c-pinki3-pi3]

i'm on an Altean keith kick rn (it's 12:32 in the morning/0032 military time) and like. i really like that idea. this is legit some guy from the desert that is somehow half alien, so lets make him more alien. make his fight with the witch thing at that one base where quintessence was spilled on him reveal his altean marks only for them to fade within the time frame of saving Allura and everyone else was so busy trying to find a plan to save her that no one noticed his marks. Until he reveals his blade, because with the quintessence needed to awaken the blade, he subsequently revealed his altean marks. With his accidental revelation of his marks, which was caused by his shapeshifting going back to his normal form (where his marks are shown), his birth marks on his face from his mom are also shown in a purple barely lighter than his skin. Anyways, i'm off to sleep now.

[liztparadox]

I’m dying for a fic where Merlin protects Mordred from the shadows while being mean to him face to face.

But as night falls and Mordred is tormented by bad dreams, drenched in sweat, Merlin has to help him when Mordred, in his distress, reaches out for him unintentionally, just as he did when he was younger.

The dream reveals Mordred’s struggles over the years, including moments when he had to betray his comrades to protect slaves or shift blame onto other guardians. And so many others, maybe praying for Emrys, farming, smiling, but always switching side, always in danger, always hoping to do more for his kin and killing someone.

Of course, by helping Mordred, he had to learn some spells and needed to see it and feel it, his dreams and need to survive. Maybe Mordred could sense someone else besides him too, like he is not alone —something different to show that the bond is still there. The love that binds them despite everything. And what we could have been, just if.

This situation could make Merlin dislike Mordred even more due to his paranoia but also love him deeply beyond his limits.

[hello-i-love-you-for-this-things]

Merlin Tangled AU

Desperately need a Merwaine fic where its tangled and Merlin is Rapunzel and Gwaine is Flynn. Uther could be Mother Gothel and the others could be here too. I think it would be really funny if they were the ruffians in the snuggly duckling. Just Lance in the corner like 'I have a dream'

But the most important part is that I desperately need Leon to be the horse. Like that is a must!!! Just Leon trying to capture Gwaine but then Merlin comes and he's like 'oh shit this twink is actually so sweet and needs to be protected at all costs'

And the castle scene would be so funny. Like the knights come to save Gwaine under Leon's supervision and then it just pans to Arthur whose just like there. He takes one look at all of them and is like you know what not my circus not my monkeys and leaves them to it.

Morgana's just like you know what I'm living for the drama and get Leon to tell her everything and she's like fuck well now I have to support this nonsense.

Merlin figures out he's Emrys and the druids have been looking for him and he's like well fuck all this and Uther tries to kill Gwaine but Merlin's all like nope and just yeets Uther from the tower

Yes its all OOC but I do not care.

I have it all plotted out in my head but like fuck that's a lot of writing and I have like 5 WIP rn

[ladyosen]

Adeuce arranged marriage au plot bunny

Adeuce arranged marriage AU idea.  Arranged marriages are a common thing for mages in their world and Deuce and Ace’s moms arrange a marriage when they are like itty bitty babies.

They decide to bring them together every summer so that they wont be marrying complete strangers.  And maybe they’ll just naturally develop chemistry.

It goes about as well as one would expect lmao!  Really it’s a lot like canon, but maybe a little less hostile because kids.  But they kind of develop a like brother’s style relationship, you know as kids do.  Sometimes fighting like cats and dogs and other times they’re thick as thieves.

Then in middle school, Deuce goes through his deliquent phase and Ace is wtf.  and let’s face it, we know Ace wouldn’t tolerate that bullshit at all (even though he thinks Deuce looks really cool and kind of hot when he’s in bad boy mode.)  But they eventually have a big fight and both say some things and throw fists and spells and it’s pretty relationshipship ending?  And definitely engagement ending, right?

Like their parent’s don’t officially end it, but Deuce’s mom sees no point in going through with it when her son is being that kind of person.  Which probably feeds into the moment when he catches her crying over his bad behavior and has his big realization.  That and Deuce also has a lot of super truthful criticisms Ace made sticking in his head as well, so Deuce decides to change like in canon.

I’m not sure if during this time Ace dates that one girl he mentioned or not, because I actually feel like Ace is upright enough to not do that while engaged, though I can also see him being like “that’s something our parent’s decided.”  Also he’s mad and maybe curious and it goes like... in canon and he dumps her, also probably with a side realizing he’d have enjoyed hanging out with Deuce more.  And now Ace wishes he’d handled their fight differently even though he still thinks he was right.

Honestly, they’re both realizing they actually enjoyed each other’s company and those visits were the best part of summer vacation.  But well, they fucked it up and both have a little too much pride to just talk it out.  They don’t see each other that summer and it feels really damn lonely.

It’s only when they both get enroll in Night Raven College that they finally meet again.  Ace probably heard from his Mom about Deuce enrolling, but tried to play it off as nothing, because you know, we’re probalby not going to even be in the same dorm.  Deuce probably... some how managed not to hear it from his Mom.  She mentioned Ace was enrolled while he was half asleep or something and he forgot and she probably didn’t push him about it.

So when they see each other in the mirror chamber, they’re both dumbstruck.  Like... Ace is shocked by how much Deuce changed back to who he used to be.  Deuce is actually really glad to see Ace again and wants to like... clear the air and apologize.  But well they’re both prideful so it’s really awkward.  So like the prolouge chapter is them eventually clearing the air and making up and they like have big ex-boyfriend energy for the early part of the story (except they insist they’re not exes.)  Eventually at sometime someone (probably Cater) finds out they were engaged (Ace made some comment on magicam or something) and no they can never live it down.  All the couple jokes are like... amplifiied.

That said, I like to think they slowly work things out and realize they like each other and admit they actually do want to get married (I like to think sometime around ghost marriage because Deuce got jealous seeing Ace confess to Eliza and ended up owning up to it and teased Ace about his whole ideal relationship spiel and Ace admitted he had Deuce in mind during it) .

But they are still dumbasses and sometimes everyone wonders how they will survive marraige, but it’s also like, it works for them.

[aniwahstan]

Four years ago, star footballers Regulus Black and James Potter’s respective teams of France and England were knocked out of the Euros tournament back to back. Several shots and one drunken agreement later, they found themselves in bed together, planning to spend the next week nursing their prides with each other’s company.

Only in the morning, Regulus was gone, not another word spoken, even when they met on the pitch over the years.

So was born a silent feud.

You won’t read about it online or in the papers, but ask any of James’ teammates, and they’ll be able to tell you how much James loathes the French forward.

This year, France and England will face each other in the championship game.

And Regulus Black made himself a deal - if France wins, he’ll tell James the truth about why he left that fateful night, when all he wanted to do was spend the week in James’ arms. He’ll leave it all out on that field, and maybe walk away with a second chance.

[loveshotzz]

Plagued with thoughts of Steve Harrington who suffers from PTSD after the upside down and his service dog that keeps him grounded 🥺

[youwillfindilluminating]

the only way I would be okay with jamie reconciling with his dad is if they meet up somewhere on neutral ground and both roy and keeley come with him to supervise and they are ready to kick james sr. in the nuts if he so much as looks at jamie wrong.

[kingstarkingslay]

“ Make our barista laugh and get a free coffee “

except it’s Wolfstar where Sirius is the barista and Remus is the customer who tries to make him laugh.

Bonus: it could also be Jegulus with Regulus as the barista

[cavebehindthewaterfall]

Something something possessive!Mr.Door/Tim fanfic

[kpopimagi]

I started writing chapter 11 of AFUTR and I’ve been staring at the same sentence for a full 5 minutes, trying to come up with a coherent description of feelings.

And I hate it. I hate describing stuff. Describing feelings in particular are a pain in the butt. I don’t like it when I need to describe how a character is feeling because of I don’t do it, my brain can’t keep up. It just won’t come up with more sentences. I’m stuck there.

Help

[minimitchell]

honestly i’d love the comedy of ben and callum having the talk with lexi some day because they’re so far on opposite ends of the spectrum with that topic. obviously they’d probably tell her to be safe and be sure that it’s with the right person etc etc but the conversation between them afterwards has so much comedic potential. callum being like ‘i was 27 when i lost my virginity and then i married the only man i slept with’. and ben on the other hand being like ‘i fathered a child at 16 during my first time and slept with half of gay london before i settled down’. and they both agree they’re probably not the best people to give lexi honest advice about this