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all-the-things-2020 · 8 months

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Further Along the Way - Chapter Nineteen

Summary: The Way forward becomes clear.

Rating: PG

Mariana dove for the data pad before Cabur could pull it down on his head. “Nope, nope, nope,” she told her son as she snatched the device away from him. “That’s my toy.” Ever since he’d started walking, Cabur was into everything, and half the time Ad’ika aided and abetted him in his mischief instead of alerting her to it.

She pressed the button to answer the incoming comm. “Mariana Djarin,” she said brightly, adjusting the angle of the data pad so as not to show the pile of unfolded laundry on the couch.

“Good afternoon, Mariana!” It was Professor Ti’lik, her Galactic History instructor. “Is this a good time to talk?”

“Of course,” Mariana said. She made eye contact with Ad’ika and nodded at Cabur. Ad’ika nodded back and pulled his brother’s favorite stuffed bantha out from under the armchair. Cabur immediately lost interest in the data pad and soon both boys were engaged in a bout of Froggy vs. The Bantha. “What can I do for you, Professor?”

“I’m going to start working on a new project soon,” Ti’lik said, her horned head tilting out of camera view as she reached for something off to her side. She came back into view with a cup of kaf in her hand. “Um, just a moment,” she said, taking a long sip. “I’ve been up since before daybreak and I have three committee meetings after this. I need some oomph.”

“I completely understand,” Mariana chuckled. There were days she relied on numerous cups of kaf to get her through.

“I knew you would,” Ti’lik said. “Anyway … I’m starting a new project, and I’m going to need a research assistant to help me. I’d like to offer you the job.”

“Me?” Mariana was surprised. “But I haven’t finished my degree yet. I thought you usually used graduate students as RAs.”

Ti’lik nodded and took another gulp of kaf. “Normally, I would, but you only have a couple of semesters left, and I think you’d be perfect for this. I’m going to be diving deep into the history of warrior cults, including the Jedi, the Sith … and the Mandalorians.”

Mariana sat back. “And what exactly would this job entail?,” she asked. “I’m kind of limited as to what I can do from here.” She turned the data pad so that the camera would pick up the two boys playing on the floor.

“I know,” said Ti’lik. “Which is why you’d have to come here, to Chandrilla. You’d be working for the University, Mariana, and as an employee you’d be eligible for free tuition … and free child care.”

Mariana was stunned. This was too perfect. “I’ll … I’ll have to talk it over with my husband,” she managed to say after a moment.

“Of course,” Ti’lik said. “You don’t have to decide right now. Take your time, think it over, discuss it with your husband, and let me know in a couple of days.” She glanced to the side, grabbed her cup and downed the last of her kaf. “I’ve got to go. Talk to you soon!”

The comm link went dark and Mariana sat her data pad down. Almost immediately, Cabur abandoned the bantha and tottered toward the table. “Paa!,” he cried. Ad’ika rolled his eyes and corrected him. “Pad,” he said carefully, emphasizing the “d.” Mariana couldn’t help but laugh.

The pad dinged and she lunged for it before Cabur got his hands on it. It was a text message from Ti’lik. “FYI, by time we complete project, you should have degree in hand. Can almost guarantee you an adjunct position in my dept after that. Think abt it.”

Her hand was shaking as she put the pad down. An adjunct position? Oh, stars, is this really happening?

************************************

Din had just dismissed his final class of the day when he heard a whoop from the hallway. The door burst open and Pando Florenz dragged someone in. “Look who’s here,” he cried. It was Klaarmat X’intari, wearing a brand new dress uniform.

“Lieutenant X’intari,” Din said. “Good to see you again.”

X’intari snapped a salute. “It’s Captain X’intari, actually,” he said with a smile. “I just got promoted.”

Pando threw an arm around the Bendaski’s shoulders. “How about that, Mr. Djarin? Barely out of the Academy a year and he’s already gotten a promotion.”

“Very impressive,” Din agreed. He wasn’t all that surprised, though. He’d been in contact with X’intari’s commanding officer a few times over the past year and knew how well the young officer was doing at Rentrock. Getting him out of the xenophobic atmosphere of Clarvos City had allowed him to flourish.

X’intari shrugged, humble as ever. “I had a couple of good ideas, that’s all,” he said. “Major Gondosk asked me to join his staff, and he has some business with the Colonel, so I got to come along. Thought I’d stop by and say hello while they’re in their meeting.”

They chatted for a bit. Din showed him the latest holos of Cabur and Ad’ika, and Pando admitted he and Glenna were once again together (they’d broken up twice since Klaarmat had graduated). X’intari was just launching into a story about a disastrous date he’d been set up on when his comm pinged.

“That’s the Major,” he said. “Gotta go.” He shook hands with Pando, who pulled him into a hug, then shook hands with Din.

“If you have time, stop by my place before you leave town,” Din said. “I know Mariana would love to see you. No need to comm, just come over.”

“I’ll try,” Klaarmat said. “Depends on what the Major needs from me.” His comm pinged again. “Shit, I’d better go.” He flashed them a smile and hurried off.

“Me, too,” Pando said. “Supposed to study with Glenna for the maths exam tomorrow.” He winked.

Din finished cleaning up the classroom, locked up and headed home.

*****************

“Da!” Both boys cried out when Din walked through the door.

“You’re late,” Mariana teased.

“Sorry,” Din said, trying to wade through the two toddlers clinging to his legs. “You’ll never guess who stopped by after class.” He picked up Ad’ika and swung him onto his shoulder, then picked up Cabur, snugging him against his hip. “Klaarmat X’intari.”

“Klaarmat?” Mariana was thrilled. “How’s he doing?”

“He just made captain,” Din said proudly. “He’s working for a Major something or other, who had a meeting with Colonel Braxden, so he popped in to say hi. I hope you don’t mind, but I told him to stop by if he had the chance before he leaves town. I thought you’d like to see him.”

“I’d love to see him,” Mariana replied. She had a soft spot for the Bendaski, who had always struck her as a bit lost. Obviously, he wasn’t lost anymore, if he’d already been promoted. “I wonder if Ad’ika remembers him.”

“Klaarma,” Ad’ika said emphatically. “Vorpan. Like me.”

“Vo-pa,” Cabur repeated.

“Green,” Mariana said carefully. For some reason, both boys were more likely to latch onto Mando’a words than Basic ones, which pleased Din mightily.

“Geen,” Cabur said.

Ad’ika stubbornly stuck to “Vorpan.”

Mariana was about to broach the subject of Ti’lik’s call when the door chimed. Since Din was dripping with children, she stepped past him to answer the door. It was Klaarmat, with an older, human officer standing behind him.

“Hi, Mrs. Djarin!”

“Klaarmat!,” she cried, wrapping the boy in a hug. “Din was just telling me you’d stopped by. Look at you, Captain!”

Once she’d let go of him, he shrugged. “Yeah, I’m still getting used to that. Oh, this is Major Gondosk. We’re on our way to catch our shuttle back to Rentrock, but he said we had time to stop by to see you for a few minutes.”

“Come in,” she said. “Nice to meet you, Major.”

The older man nodded kindly as he stepped inside the apartment. “Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Djarin,” he said. “And you, too, Mr. Djarin. Captain X’intari has told me quite a bit about both of you.”

Din put the boys down and shook Gondosk’s hand. Ad’ika leaped at Klaarmat, while Cabur warily peeped from behind his father’s knee.

“Hey, it’s my favorite green kid,” said Klaarmat, sweeping Ad’ika into his arms. “And look how big your brother is! I remember when he was a teeny, tiny baby.”

“Cabur muninar,” Ad’ika said. Klaarmat looked puzzled.

“He said Cabur is tall,” Din explained. “He’s quite proud of how fast his brother is growing.” Ad’ika nodded.

“We don’t have long,” Major Gondosk said, “but I did want to let you know that we’re working on reversing the Board’s decision on the admittance of non-human cadets. General Mikko is being reassigned and if we’re lucky the new Academy liaison will be more amenable to our point of view.” He clapped one hand on Klaarmat’s shoulder. “After all, if we don’t admit non-human cadets, we’re going to lose out on officers like X’intari here.”

Klaarmat ducked his head in embarrassment. “I’m just doing my job, sir,” he mumbled.

“And a damn fine job, too,” Gondosk said. “Speaking of, we’d better get going or we’ll miss our transport. Again, a pleasure to meet you both, and here’s hoping next year will be back to normal around here.” He shook their hands and waved at both boys.

Klaarmat handed Ad’ika to Mariana, then crushed them both in an embrace. “Good to see you again, Mrs. Djarin,” he said.

“I told you to call me Mariana,” she chided as he stepped back.

“Okay, Mariana,” he said. “But I’m still calling him Mr. Djarin.” He nodded toward Din, who simply shook his head.

“Come here, Captain,” he said, pulling Klaarmat into a hug. “Don’t be a stranger.”

After X’intari and Gondosk left, Din sat on the couch, pulling Cabur into his lap. “This is great news, cyar’ika,” he said. “If they can get the Board to reverse it’s policy …” He smiled at her, his eyes bright. Suddenly, she didn’t feel as excited about her own news.

“Din, we have to talk about something,” she said, sitting down next to him. Ad’ika looked at her expectantly and she nodded. He grabbed Cabur’s hand and led him off to play.

“What’s up?” Din asked, taking her hand. “Is anything wrong?”

“I … I had a comm from Professor Ti’lik today,” she began.

Din frowned. “I thought you were doing well in her class,” he said.

“I am,” she assured him. “This wasn’t about class. She — she offered me a job.”

“I don’t understand. A job? But you haven’t finished your degree yet. You need to finish your degree. That’s the plan.”

“I know. And it’s a job as her research assistant. Which means I’d be working for the University. And eligible for free tuition.”

Din’s face lit up. “So you’d still be able to finish your degree,” he said. “But you’re already so busy, with school and the kids. Do you really think it’s a good idea to take on something else?”

“Well, she did mention that the university provides free child care,” Mariana said carefully.

That was when it dawned on him. “So this job would be on Chandrilla,” he said.

She nodded. “Yes, which is why we need to talk about it.” She rubbed his hand. “If you don’t want to leave Thantos, I understand. Especially with things looking up for next year —“

He cut her off. “There’s nothing to talk about,” he said. “We’re going.”

“Wait, what?”

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. “This has always been the plan, cyar’ika,” he said softly. “For you to finish your education, to have the career you were always meant to. You have to take this opportunity.”

“But you’re so happy here,” she said. “I don’t want you to have to give up your whole life again, just for me.”

Din shook his head. “You and the boys are my whole life,” he corrected her. “A job is a job. Mar’ika, there are plenty of soldiers and fighters in this galaxy. People like me are a dime a dozen. But minds like yours … brilliant, insightful minds … that’s what the galaxy needs more of.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you?,” she said through tears.

“I ask myself the same question every day,” he replied, wiping the tears away with his thumb before kissing her quite thoroughly.

***********************************

“What’s this?,” Colonel Braxden asked as Din dropped an envelope on his desk.

“My letter of resignation,” Din replied.

The Colonel scrambled to his feet. “Your what?”

“My wife got a job offer on Chandrilla,” he explained. “We’ll be leaving at the end of the month.”

Braxden sighed. “We’ll miss you,” he said simply. “Give your wife my best.”

********************************

Everything was packed. Mariana picked up Cabur and settled him on her hip. She looked around the apartment. The furniture was staying, of course, but even so the rooms looked so empty without all their clutter. No stray toys under the couch, no abandoned jacket draped over a chair, no dirty cups in the sink, no data pads scattered on the side table.

“Goodbye, little apartment,” she whispered.

“Bye, parmen,” Cabur echoed.

Din and Ad’ika were already outside, waiting for the skimmer to arrive to take them to the spaceport. “I hope you remember this place, verd’ika,” she said. “It’s where you were born.” Things had not always been perfect on Thantos (those dark, dark days after the cadets were lost would be seared into her soul forever) but it had been where they became a true family, a clan of four.

She walked outside to stand next to her husband. “Any regrets?,” she asked. She knew he was disappointed to be missing Pando and Glenna’s graduation, and would miss hanging out with Garrick.

“No regrets,” Din said, slipping his arm around her waist. “This is the Way.”

******************************************

Mando’a words:

Vorpan = green

Muninar = tall

#the mandalorian #star wars #grogu #pedro pascal character fanfiction #baby yoda #din djarin #din djarin x original female character #din djarin fanfiction

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international-intelligence-inc · 9 months

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Twenty Year Veteran, Gholamali Khooshroo, Iranian Ambassador to United Nations in (NYC) Confesses Amazing Revelations To Me While WE Studied Together in NYC Over Two Year About NUKING THE UK AND USA! WOW JOE BIDEN "DUDE."

SICILY JOHN!

BYE BYE BABY!

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Home Secretary-General General Assembly Security Council Economic and Social Council International Court of Justice

BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE BIO/4694 17 FEBRUARY 2015

New Permanent Representative of Iran Presents Credentials

Golamali, always told me to call him "AMIR." IRAN IS MY "FRIEND AND CLOSEST ALLY WHO HELPED ME WHEN NOT EVEN THE USA OR MY "FAMILY." WHEN THE NEW SCHOOL FOR SOCIAL RESEARCH THREW ME OUT FOR MY ANTI BILL CLINTON POLITICAL OPINIONS, IRAN, AND THAT COUNTRY VIA "GOLAMALI," WROTE A LETTER TO ME TO GET INTO FAIRLIEGH DICKINSON UNIVERSITY WHERE THE AMBASSADOR'S BUDDY RAN THE ENTIRE POLITICAL SCIENCE DEPT. THERE AT FDU. Golamali, lived in, Hackensack, NJ, himself then.

Too bad for the, CIA, they can not "communicate with Iran," and never thought I was "good enough," to "negotiate with Iran for them lol CIA." You need someone like me.

Golamali Khoshroo, confessed to me privately as far back as 1999, Iran is just "itching to nuke not , Israel, first! ((SURPRISE JOE BIDEN AND NID AVRIL HAINES HA HA HA! JILL L STARR GETS THE NEWS FIRST ON YOU UK USA AND APPARENTLY IT IS ALSO CANADA THE NUMBER THREE FIRST COUNTRIES TO "GET NUKED FIRST BY "IRAN."

HIS EXCELLENCY -> MR, GOLAMALI, HAS GOOD REASONS' TO NUKE U SA UK T HEN CANADA! I "VOUGE FOR IRAN NOT, YOU CIA!" I AM BEING "OBJECTIVE , AVRIL HAINES."

AND WATCH IT "VATICAN!!" APPARENTLY, YOU NEVER REPAID IRAN BACK FOR THE CRUCADES ANY MORE THAN ISRAEL AND UK USA AND THE VATICAN EVER PAID ANY WWII "JEWS," BACK FOR WII THAN THE "VATICAN," DID THE "CRUSCADES.

IRAN TELLS ME "THE VATICAN IS GONNA GET BOMBED AND THE POPE KILLED TOO SETTLE THE CRUCADES / PALESTINIAN SCORE!"

OH! THAN.."IRAN, INFORMS ME, "NEXT EVERY SECULAR NATO STATE NOT HAVING A STATE RELIGION LIKE , RUSSIA, GREECE ETC., AN ORTHODOX CHRISTIAN ONE , LIKE I DO (RUSSIAN AMERICAN) HAVE TO BE NUKED NEXT AND EVERY SINGLE STATE AND ROMAN CATHOLIC MUST BE EXTERMINATED!"

OH ! " AND PUTIN HAS BEEN ARMING IRAN WITH THE LARGEST NUKES IN OVER 40 YEARS NOW KNOW THAT IS A FACT CIA! SO SORRY.

THINK YOU CAN DO IT WITHOUT JILL STARR JOE BIDEN AND CIA MI6 DO IT! BYE BYE.

I HATE TO GIVE" YOU THE DISAPPOINTING NEWS GERMAN AMBASSADOR IN NYC!

BUT GERMANY/ANGELA MERKEL -> WE BOTH UNDERSTAND DIPLOMACY IS RECIPROCOL.

WHILE "IRAN IS AT IT! I HEARD THRU THE GRAPEVINE,THE,NETHERLANDS HAS A .. ROMAN CATHOLIC ROYAL FA MILY, SERGE BRAMMERTZ? HA HA HA I GUESS YOU . HAVE TO GO TO BARON VON BRAMMERTZ IF IT S TRUE YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN DUDE!

SEXY JILL SHOOTER IN THE HEAD DADDY SAYS!" "ANGELA MERKEL, GENIUS CHEMIST, FORMER FRIEND OF MY FORMER DECEASED FIANCEE ,ARNOLD STARK, FROM, MAPLEWOOD, KNEW YOU ! ANYWAY THE POINT HERE, GERMANY, IS, "WHEN I CALLED YOU UP FOR THAT UNITED NATIONS CLERK POSITION A FEW YEARS BACK FROM CLIFTON, THE , GERMAN AMBASSADOR, CALLED MEME BACK IN CLIFTON NJ IN 5 MINUTES AFTER I SUBMITTED MY CLERK UN GERMANY POSITION.

HE "GAVE ME, JILLY, THE DISAPPOINTING NEWS, I, JILL STARR, WILL NEVER WORK FOR THE UNITED NATIONS IN NYC EVER AGAIN BECAUSE, ANGELA MERKEL, GERMANY, BLAMES ME FOR NOT TACKLING ALL THREE WANTED SERBIAN WAR CRIMINALS in 2002 IN SERBIA AND FLYING THEM TO THE HAGUE WAR CRIMES COURT FOR TRIAL ON MY IMAGINARY PRIVATE JET!" SCREW YOU MERKEL BITCH!" AND GERMAN AMBASSADOR, SAYS, I OWE , GERMANY , BILLIONS OF GERMAN MARKS TO REPAY HIS GERMANY! WE ARE " A BAD FIT!" HA HA

" PERSONALLY, IA M ON< SERBIA'S SIDE AND THE JEWISH SIDE I AM FIRST AND FOREMOST JEWISH HA HA HA AND I AM NOT A SPY AND TO PROVE IT, I WILL TRAVEL TO SPEAK TO GOLAMALI ABOUT ALL THIS IN IRAN TOMORROW CIA TO TEACH YOU A LESSON AND IF >>GERMANY, VATICAN AND CROATIA AND ITALY (SICILY) GOES TOMORROW, FOR WWII REPARATIONS TO "US ALL AND AND HAVE TO GO FIRST, ASK ME AND SERBIA IF WE REALLY GIVE A DAMN "FRANKLY WE DONE CARE ALL THAT MUCH!." YOU KNOW, MILOS DJUKANOVIC, WANTS TO EXPAND HIS EMPIRE, BUDVA, ACROSS THAT, ADRIATIC HUDSON, INTO SICILY! HA HA HA!

AND, " I HATE TO GIVE THE , SICILIAN/ROMAN CATHOLIC PRINCESS, IN, SICILY, AND, ALL YOU ABUSIVE/DAMN ROMAN CATHOLICS LIKE "JOHN ON HARDING AVENUE AROUND HERE ABUSING ME....TISK TISK TISK, YOUR DAMNING OWN BAD NEWS NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR FULL ATTENTION, GET THIS LA COSA NOSTRA TYPES-> "ONCE AND IF IRAN BLOWS UP AND GIVES ALL YOU MOTHER *UCKERS SOME , HEZBOLLAH HELL, MAYBE YOU WILL LEAVE ME ALONE, HARRY J SHORTWAY! YOU WILL WHEN YOU ARE NOT A ROUND! LOL

AS "FURTHER EVIDENCE THIS IS REALLY THE "POSSIBLE DEMISE OF SICILY, GET THIS> ...PUTIN HAS HYPERSONIC NUKES RIGHT N BELGRADE IN TOPCIDER REPUBLIKA SRPSKA, N, BOSNIA, AND PROBABLY MONTENGRO AND TO DO WHAT ? TO TAKE OUT NEW YORK CITY AT HYPERSONIC, VLADIMIR PUTIN SPEED SURPRISE CIA! JOE BIDEN.

" ALLOW ME TO GIVE NATO ITS' BAD NEWS TODAY AND GERMANY HA HA HA YOU HAVE PUTINS' LARGEST NUKES AIMED AND ALL READY TO TAKE YO UALL OUT SECULAR STATES' IN BEOGRAD AND I AM NOT HELPING YOU I KNOW THING BUT SCREW YOU! MAKE ME! PAY ME OFF! DO NOT TAKE BRIBES BRAMMERTZ HA HA HA TOO BAD HUH?

I AM A GOOD GIRL.

HERE THINK ABOUT IT "ROMAN CATHOLIC'S AND POMPOUS POPE VATICAN LEADER!

IF YOU ARE SO INFALLIBLE "PROVE IT AND ASK GOD TO SAVE YOU FROM BOTH SHIA AND SHITE TERROR DEATH YOURSELF ROMAN CATHOLICS AND JOHN KIDNEY ASSHOLE ON HARDING AVENUE AND JAMES ANZALDI ITALIAN SHIT TO SAVE YOU FROM IRAN MY BUDDY!

DO NOT YOU DARE TRY TO RAPE IRAN OF THEIR OIL AND A ECONOMIC SANCTIONS THEM INTO SOME " FUCKING BLASPHEMOUS BIKINI PARADISE JOE BIDEN." GOOD LUCK ON YOUR LATEST MAKE A WHORE HOUSE OF DUBAI AND IRAN HA HAHA SAUDI KING, KNOWS YOU WANT TO TAKE HM OUT TO AN DYOU WSH YOU COULD! I KNOW HIM. DO IT ALONE CIA MI6 WONT SAVE YOU SAVE YOUT NUCLEAR BOMBNIG SERBAN ASSES YOURSELVES! CHECKMATE

WHEN YOU HAVE WHAT DO, YOU DONT NEED MONEY TO BE A WORLD MOVER AND SHAKER AM JUST LIKE MY DADDY AND EVERY PRESIDENT N WORLD KNOWS ME AND CIA PLAYER IRV STARR EVEN PUTIN. HI VLAD!

Hypersonic weapons are capable of flying faster than Mach 5 — much faster than the speed of sound — and can maneuver between varying altitudes and azimuths, making it harder to detect.

(Based on information provided by the Protocol and Liaison Service)

The new Permanent Representative of Iran to the United Nations, Gholamali Khoshroo, presented his credentials to UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon today.

Avangard

There are currently two hypersonic missiles with the Russian military: the Avangard and the Kinzhal. The former is a nuclear-capable missile reportedly able to fly faster than 20 times the speed of sound. The first Avangard infrastructure was set up in December 2019. AND THEY ARE IN BELGRADE SERBIA A "HOP A SKIP AND JUMP FROM NYC AT THAT SPEED MAY BE DOOMED TO BUT PUTIN WILL PROBABLY I HOPE GET ME AND BIGGIE OUT ALIVE," I DONT KNOW?

Prior to his appointment, Mr. Khoshroo was his country’s Ambassador to Switzerland. From 2005 to 2014, he was Assistant Secretary General of the Asian Parliamentary Assembly, after having served as Deputy Foreign Minister for Legal and International Affairs from 2002 to 2005.

Mr. Khoshroo was Ambassador to Australia from 1999 to 2002, before which he served as Deputy Foreign Minister for Research and Training from 1997 to 1999. From 1989 to 1995, Mr. Khoshroo was Deputy Permanent Representative to the United Nations. He served two terms, from 1981 to 1989 and 1995 to 1997, as Dean of the School for International Relations, affiliated with Iran’s Foreign Ministry.

Mr. Khoshroo holds degrees from Tehran University and the New School of Social Research in New York, and has published several articles and books on political and cultural affairs.

Born on 16 January 1955, he is married and has four children.

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chokguerra · 1 year

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When I started handling the HR Dept. I told my Manager (CEO) that I would like to start meeting the employees one by one to have a casual talk and check how they are and how can I help? I told him I don’t want to know the employees through their managers only.

He agreed and told me he believed the company needs it.

One time, during one of my meetings with one of the employees, I started explaining to him that the meeting is “just to check how are they” then he suddenly got teary eyed, he said in his 7 years with the company and 18+ years of experience, I am the first HR who asked him something not work related.

At the end of every meeting, my last question is always “can you tell me what you think I can contribute as your HR? What are 3 things or projects you expect HR to fulfill that you have not experienced yet?”

NO JOKE, 95% of them answered “First, this. What you are doing now, asking how we are, trying to know us, making us feel we have an HR is exactly what I am looking for.”

This exercise made me realize that Employees don’t ask much, most of the time they just want and need to be heard and appreciated. Of course, there will be a long list of what else they need such as salary increase, training etc. but it saddens me how they are not receiving the ‘basic’ service from previous HR’s which is to have someone who listens.

Few days ago, 1 of my employees gave me this perfume and I asked him why? He said “because you are a good HR.” Then the day after another colleague came telling me how everyone likes me as their HR because I care for people. Today, I was having a meeting with our Sr. Finance Manager and in the middle, he said he is so proud of my progress, and he sees a bright future for me. He is one of the few people who witnessed how I struggle and worked hard to be where I am now.

To lead HR is indeed a dream come true but not everyone knows and will ever know the BIG sacrifices I made, and I am making to live this dream. Yes, I am SUPER happy, but this wasn’t easy.

Leading and working directly with the CEO is a privilege YET challenging ---- Endless reports, meetings, issues to take care of and tons of TOUGH decisions to make ALONE. Not to mention sleepless nights, missing catching up with friends, cancelling travel plans, not having time for anyone even to myself HAHAHA :/ To the point that I can’t even reply to most of the messages to me! -_-

The pressure and expectations from the top management are TOO HIGH and not to forget I have employees to take care of.

Alongside, there are many things and I admit, I am still learning (in a hard way), and I have yet to learn to survive.

There are times when I am really really REALLY overwhelmed with everything that is happening and I won’t deny it is tiring. That is why words of affirmation, and an act of little appreciation really mean a lot to me. Because most of the time, the world only sees the result but doesn’t have a single clue what is happening in between each progress.

That is why you have to keep doing good to others no matter how small you think it is --- because you will never know who you are helping today with the little things you do.

At the same time, learn to listen without judgement. EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE HEARD.

Lastly, STAY KIND, it costs nothing!

#kindness #life #me #random #effort #choice

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wytfut · 1 year

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incident/adventure

This is just an overview of an event that happened last night. With part of it dealing with training.

My critique, maybe dated (I haven’t been in the fire service since 1999), but what was happening wasn’t right from my small petty point of view.

What we had was a pretty dramatic fire that started on the Iowa side of the Missouri river, and jumped across to Lake Waconda (North and East of Union Nebraski down north of Nebraska City, west of Plattesmouth).

Jake/Katie have a cabin on that lake, and the Waconda website was reporting a major fire (grass/brush) and were asking for voluntary evacuation. This being because there is only one way in out of this development.

The landscape on west side of the lake is a huge bluff extremely steep full of brush/grass and giant fallen trees. Its a real bear cat to walk this slope. Roughly over 100′ in height. This very same bluff runs on the west side of the Missouri River from Waconda to Nebraska City.

Fire dept. was having difficulties getting to the hot spots.

Jakes thoughts were that since he had tons of resources to heavy equipment, to see if they needed any help that way, as the equipment was 2 hours out. If the equipment/operators sat and did nothing, or worked, it didn’t matter, at least the equipment was there as deemed needed.

Jake called me and wanted to know if I wanted to head out with him, and it sounded like an adventure to me, at 10:30 at night?... why not. We get a long very well, and I know he wanted me to experience this with him, but I didn’t know he was thinking of me as a possible operator of equipment if needed. .... and thats ok, and but I lucked out and only had to stand around and watch.

We got on site, asked for where the command center was. Lots of “uhhh’s” and “hmm’s” and said maybe over there in the middle of the cluster fuck of trucks.

The incident commander is usually the fire Chief of the local dept. which I think is who he was. And in conversation figured out he was not doing any incident command procedures, and it appeared he didn’t know what any of that was. He was sitting in his pickup with very few words looking like a wreck (drunk? Tired, Sick? Medical issue? overwhelmed?) I have no clue, but he shouldn’t have been in charge, at least not in that appearance and/or state of mine .

Jake and I both talked to each other on the way, without seeing site, that possibly, they want National guard helicopters like they used in North Platte a while back to haul water.

Jake mentioned this and got stares.... with no comments. (update, as of yesterday National Guard was called in to do that very thing)

Commander wanted us to use our equipment to pull down burning/hot trees on this slope of a few miles... “get the hot spots”... basically tedious, minor work for huge tonnage sized machines. Something that could be easily done with a cable/rope and a truck for the most part.

Folks this is way over kill for a possible horrible situation. Why not create a “fire stop/break” or area for easier handling of fire fighting if the fire comes back in this area due the wind the next day.

I talked that over with Jake, he liked it, and I told him, lets see if they’ll allow this action. Lee the operator got started and did that very thing. No instruction from the fire service involved. We were sort of on our own. And we were right in front of “command” where they could see exactly what was going on.

Jake and I ended up the night in his cabin about 2 a.m. 2:30 Emergency Management of the State of Nebraska called Jake and said they were taking over the incident. Was this requested, or did someone who knew better bitch to the right people.... I do not know.

Equipment ran until 3-4 a.m.... and got the “stop” built. And the operators went home. Jake and I got up about 7 and headed home.

Once Jake got home he got a call from an agency of the State of “Nebraski, emergency services heavy equipment division”.....

“we loved what you guys did, we need a lot more of that, and we be will out there staking where we need these stops built.....” Our operator now had only a couple hours sleep got out of bed and headed back out.

Incident Command in a nutshell.

Was developed by the fire services of forest fires on the west coast to deal with large fires and huge numbers of entities/people. It is designed on safety, efficiency, and morale of workers. it works, and it works very well.... for 30 years now. The most any one person/officer has to manage is 5 people/groups. It has to be cusotmized because of numbers, but this is the basics.

Many small town fire dept’s resist this training, as its not in the true old frame of mind of “surround and drown, good old boys syndrome”, which amazes me in this day and age it still exists. It also demands time and effort to train for it. But once you use it, everything works like clock work.... very smooth.

At Waverly back in the late 80′s, we took the class. No we didn’t care for it at first, as it was all “NEW” and different. But we adapted and customized it to fit our needs. Its a good process, and works great.

Jake and I arrived like I said..... tons of trucks just sitting, and every truck has a driver, just sitting. I’m sure some of this was logistics, but under “incident command” there would have been a “tanker officer” who would have these guys in the proper place, or reassigned different duties.

Just before we went to the cabin at 2, they had mutual aided fire dept’s for grass rigs as far away as Waverly... (about 45 miles/50 minutes away)

The wasted of time, energy, and spirit really got to me. Some of the VFD assisting the incident you could clearly see had this training. Morale with all the standing around was taking a deep dive very quickly. An outsider needs to understand, that upon the initial “call” that adrenaline is activated in every individual. Even those that don’t show it. Its what attracts so many in the service, the adrenaline boost. With adrenaline come emotions, which if are not groomed accordingly to the demand of the scene.... well your good help now isn’t in the mood. No this isn’t “incident command” training, this is just common human nature.

Ok.... I’m a whiner.... got this out of my system here, Yes I was emotionally pissed when I wrote this the first edit. No I don’t want to be a fire fighter again but I do miss certain aspects of that. I do enjoy a little bit of adrenaline every once in a while. I am an adrenaline junky ....

I don’t want to be in charge, nor be bossy. But this was sloppy, risky business conducted at this incident.

The lake association tries to highly supports Union Volunteer Fire Dept (Waconda is in their district), via donations, and fund raisers. But I don’t know where this is going toward education. Maybe they have had incident command training and they just “poo poo’d” it.... I have no idea

Its a tough go, volunteering for emergency services. But it pays to do it correctly and our Public should receive it.

1 note · View note

charlies-storybook · 2 years

Text

I posted 32 times in 2022

That's 32 more posts than 2021!

26 posts created (81%)

6 posts reblogged (19%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@e-lisard

@foxy-lisard

@/writeblrsupport

@/kingsmemes

I tagged 28 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#bitchwrite - 21 posts

#my writing - 15 posts

#my oc - 10 posts

#angst - 6 posts

#nina castillo-laurens - 4 posts

#not my oc - 4 posts

#fluff - 4 posts

#my writings - 4 posts

#nailu sego - 4 posts

#sophia lucy watson - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 88 characters

#i thought it was pure and cute.... idk if he intended for it to be uh flirty or romantic

My Top Posts in 2022:

Shame On You, Avatar Of Pride

Pride. That’s who he is. Pride. And he has to be Pride. To hold pride for his brothers, for RAD, for Lord Diavolo. For... Charlie. But really if they’re no longer among the living? Whose fault is that? Mammon’s? ...Charlie’s?

....

...

His?

No, he would never admit that. He’s Lucifer. The avatar of Pride. The most powerful demon in Devildom. The right-hand man of Diavolo.

Of course, it’s Mammon’s fault! Everything is his fault! He and his damned dept bills.

Of course, it’s Charlie’s fault! Everything is their fault! They and their damned need to save everyone.

....

...

His.

Yes, he admitted that.

Of course, it’s his fault! He and his damned pride...

...where is his pride before the fall?

@/flashfictionfridayofficial

8 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

The Sound of Light is Fast but Thoughts are Faster

(This is collaboration between me and @/e-lisard, Yoko is faer and Tsueso is mine! Thank you again, looking forward to working with you soon again.)

It was late Friday evening, between 4 pm and 5 pm when Tsueso was finally dismissed from his mother and home-school. Oh, how he loved her, but sometimes... sometimes her constant worrying was just annoying, ya know?

He was walking along the streets of Musutafu, enjoying the night breeze, letting a soft ‘ribbit’ slip now and then. Tsueso already left a few buildings behind his back, trying to turn around the corner when suddenly someone appeared two feet away from him from the shadows?

‘They didn’t see me.’ He guessed. But the sound. So loud! But wait... there’s no one talking...

Yoko's mind is racing as she steps out of the shadows, adjusting her mask a little as she vaguely notes someone nearby. There's definitely something she's missing with this, but she doesn't know what. So she just lists all the clues again, every piece of information they gave about the child that had seemed like it could be of use…

It doesn't help, though, and it's driving her crazy. She knows she should be calmer, but the first 24 hours are crucial.

Tsueso clenches his ears, making his longer hair messy as his ears are hiding under all that. He closes his left eye in pain but still manages to softly smile at the woman.

“Try to calm down… your thoughts are so fast and messy, so loud. Could understand every other word.” He confessed without batting an eye, then realizing he was being intrusive again. “Ah, sorry, no… the sound of light is fast, but my quirk is faster. Didn’t mean to read your mind! You were just close and too loud…” Tsueso starts to apologize.

Her ear twitches slightly as he starts talking, her eyes flickering to him. Huh. So that's who was nearby.

She turns to face him with a smile, her mind briefly flickering to her own youth as she adjusts her mask again. "Don't worry about it," she softly says, "Sometimes quirks just are like that." Well, her thoughts certainly have slowed now that she's focused on something else. "You sure do have an interesting one." Her smile turns a bit brighter for a second before it goes back to just being soft.

“Ah, yes, thank you… Sometimes it’s inconvenient, been told it’s perfect for a villain.” He smiles at her, sadly but smiles.

“What were you thinking about?” Tsueso asks casually now when he heard most of it.

"Yes, people love to be dicks about quirks." Should she curse around children? Probably not. Meh. "Happens to the best of us." Shadows are rather scary, after all.

"Well…" The kid probably already heard most of it, anyway. "The police asked me to help with a kidnapping case, but let's just say it's not going too well." So many clues, yet nothing they can figure out. Go figure.

“You don’t have to worry about cursing around me.” He does it again. Can’t help it. “Shadows are cool, I’m a part frog so.” As he says so he shows her his body quirks, his black eyes, the membranes between his fingers, and lets out a ‘ribbit’.

“Could you repeat the clues for me? You were thinking rather messily…” Tsueso looks down, reading her mind again. “I can try to figure.”

Is it illegal to share these things? She's pretty sure the answer is yes. Does she care? Not at all. What's the police gonna do? Arrest her?

So she just goes over the clues again, slower this time, really taking her time to examine them. Maybe she'll also figure something out, if she isn't going through it like a freight train or something like that.

He looks puzzled like he’s thinking. “You said it was a little girl? And no one reported the kidnapping until now?” He asks her rhetorical questions before continuing. “What if she knew her kidnapper? What if they were related and she went with them of her own will? That’s why her family didn’t think she’s missing?” Oh, if she could read his mind, but he voices them for her quite easily.

"Oh god we're fucking idiots-" She facepalms (maskpalms?) as she shakes her head. "It makes sense, why didn't anyone at least utter the idea?" It would also explain some clues and the lack of others which you would expect in a kidnapping case.

"Kid, you're an absolute gift."

Tsueso blushes but smiles softly. “Oh, it’s nothing… glad to help.” He looks at her, humming ‘ribbits’ in satisfaction.

"Well, I should get back so I can tell someone about this, so we can reexamine the other clues with this new potential context." She grins, tapping her foot on the ground.

"And don't ever let anyone get you down about your quirk, okay? Quirks aren't what make people villains, it's mindsets." She briefly bounces closer to pet his head, her mind now very reminiscent of a dog happily wagging its tail.

He smiles widely at her and lets her pet him. He gives her his happiest ‘ribbit’. “Thank you, miss…” Tsueso suddenly looks sad. “I never caught your name. I’m Tsueso by the way, Tsueso Yuido.”

"Nice to meet you, Tsueso. You can call me Mélaina Skia." She dramatically bows. While her hero name isn't that famous, it's not like it never pops up in the news, although never connected to her face.

"It means black shadow." She supplies after a second, still amused at her own naming 'skills' from years ago.

He bows as response. “Nice to meet you as well, miss Mélaina.” Then stays put, waiting for any last words before they part ways.

"I don't really have any other wisdom to impart, so I'll be going. Who knows, maybe I'll come look for you again if we get stuck in another investigation." She winks, taking her hood off to remove the braid from her hair.

8 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

TW. Mention of death/murder

Leap of Faith

Kiara, Tsueso's mother, stood above the kitchen counter browsing through the morning mail until her gaze fell open a letter, a letter addressed to her son, Tsueso.

The letter was sent by UA High, the school for heroes.

'They got mistaken', she thought. And as she was about to open the letter her son stepped into the kitchen.

"Morning, mom, ribbit." He greeted Kiara, yawning mid-sentence.

Kiara turned around harshly, hiding the letters behind her back alongside the letter for her son. "Good morning, dear! Have you slept well?" Kiara asked, refusing to look into her son's eyes.

Tsueso raised an eyebrow, suspicious of her mom's behavior. "Is something wrong, mom? You are acting weird..."

'Nothing!' Answered her mind first, her eyes still wandering everywhere else but Tsueso's eyes. 'Just this letter addressed to you, from UA High.' She continued.

"A letter?! From UA High?! Addressed to me?!" Tsueso's face lighted up and stepped closer to her. "I applied almost three months ago, I thought they wouldn't answer." Tsueso reached his hand for the letter.

She looked into his eyes for the first time this morning, finally. Her expression was confused and angry. "Don't you dare use your quirk on me, young man!" Kiara raised her voice, this wasn't usual for her, making Tsueso stop and retreat his steps, wary.

Tsueso hasn't spoken, scanning his mom's face for answers. "I'm, I'm not using mine..." Kiara replied to Tsueso's silent question, back with her usual tone. "You can't go to UA!" She yelled again, changing her volume depending on what she was talking about.

"Why not?!" Tsueso mirrored her anger and loudness.

"Because those 'so-called heroes' killed your father! And you go and apply for the same school behind my back!"

"Because you wouldn't let me!"

"You are questioning why?! I just told you!"

"Have a leap of faith in me! I just wanna learn how to control my quirk not to play a hero!"

Kiara was taken aback. "Tsueso..." She spoke softly.

But Tsueso just shook his head, fought back the tears that were forming in his eyes, and ran to his room.

"Tsueso!" Was the last thing he heard before he slammed the door and locked it.

@/flashfictionfridayofficial @/foxy-lisard (tagging you too, bc it can be seen as part of the Encanto AU)

9 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

A little girl dreaming of ‘Happy Ever After’, pretending to act in American romance cliché where a boy bumps into a girl, her papers fly everywhere, and as they are trying to pick them up, the two of them reach for the same paper and touch hands, boom, love at first sight! Too bad for the little girl that it doesn’t happen in real life... or does it?

Let’s have a look at my love life in retrospection, shall we?

18 years old: There’s a boy, my classmate, ghosted for a month and then ignored. Used, you taught me pain.

17 - 15 years old: There’s a boy, my classmate, I don’t know what I saw in you, blinded by love. Used, you taught me patience.

15 years old: There’s a boy, was good as a therapist for him then ghosted. Used, you taught me pain.

There’s a girl, we were dating, you weren’t aware. Not used, you taught me love.

9 years old: There’s a boy, my friend’s boyfriend’s brother, forced to date him to make my friend date his brother. Used, you taught me nothing.

So I ask myself... when I’ll get my fairytale ending?

@/stories-by-rie

14 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You Were My Rise And My Fall

(This is side story/side chapter of Chapter 3: Darkness Upon Devildom of my fic Sacrifice For Love - Marlie angst; you can find it on my ao3 - kinda recommend to read it first so you know what’s up, but it’s not mandatory!)

Mammon was locked away in his room all the time between the day of their death and the day of their funeral, so two weeks already now. He didn’t even leave his room to go get some food even not over his brothers’ begging and bargaining. All that could be heard as a response was: “I’m not hungry” or “I already ate”, of course, both of these were lies, but anything that could get his brothers to shut up.

Mammon lay on his bed, curled into a ball. Everything about him looked messy; his hair sticking out to every direction, his clothes crumpled as if he wore them this entire time. Dried tears streaks were visible on the demon’s cheeks and it was possible he will start crying again any time soon.

The whitenette was looking at something on his DDD, swapping through his gallery. It was full of photos of him and someone - a short-haired brunette with glasses, maybe it was his significant other? They were smiling almost on every photo Mammon swapped to. With every passing photo, he sniffled until he was full-on ugly crying.

“You were my everything!” The avatar of greed yelled at his DDD as he tossed it to the side. “You changed my life! I loved you! And I lost you! Why did you leave me?! Did you hate me?!” His screaming could be heard through the whole House of Lamentation, it broke the heart of anyone who heard him. “You changed me for the better, everything I did I did for you! With you, I wasn’t the scumbag! The disappointment! The stupid Mammon! I was yours!”

The demon curled into a ball a bit more and hugged himself. “But your death... your death was what broke me inside! Come back! I’m begging you! Charlie! Charlie... you were my rise... and my fall.”

@/flashfictionfridayofficial

26 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

0 notes

lavemintusa · 2 years

Text

𝚂𝙰𝚅𝙸𝙾𝚄𝚁 [𝟷]

𝚂𝚑𝚞 𝚈𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘 𝚡 𝚐𝚗!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗: 𝗱𝗼𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝘂, 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗹, 𝗟𝘂𝘅𝗶𝗲𝗺’𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝘀.

𝙴𝚛𝚒’𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎: 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚋𝚕𝚎, 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢 🤍

❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎

Mon 09/12/20xx 08:39

Dear diary,

Another headache, I opened my eyes, another day suffering in the hospital. How long did I stay here ? Maybe 4 months, maybe 6, I don’t even remember. I press the button to call out for nurses and waiting for them, I’m going to write something here. I guess today will be the same as everyday, the doctors and nurses will come and bring me to the MRI* scan or several checking, say things like “You will recover soon with our radiotherapy and chemotherapy” or “You don’t need to worry, we will start the surgery soon.” Look as if i believe it, there are no doctors in the neurology dept are “brave” enough to converse with me or help me out of this brain tumor, they pity me for having this, they afraid that I will pass away from the surgery because of their lack of experiences. So what, let me go through hurt by prolong my life until they find some good doctors...

*-short of ‘magnetic resonance imaging’ is a medical imaging technique used in radiology to form pictures of the anatomy and the physiological processes of the body.

Tue 10/12/20xx 07:10

Dear diary,

The medicines they gave me don’t work, I still have a headache. And as always, no one talk to me, I asked myself what if I disappeared nvm, these thought make me so tired. .Oh and I had a dream last night about an angel helped me with my condition, but I guess there won’t be any of them in real life although if they want to use me for something.

Wed 11/12/20xx 06:21

Dear diary,

They said I should wake up early today since someone is coming, I will continue to write this after I meet them. Hopefully not my relative or parents because I know they just want to sneer and complain about how much I have spent staying here, they don’t care about my matter...

09:21

Dear diary (again)

I have met that person, he is a doctor from a big city that my short-term memory cannot handle, he will in charge with my case. His name is Shu Yummy something, sound amusing huh ;) Yeh, he gonna stay here until my surgery finish, quite young but seem to be experienced and reliable. He has colorful hair, I asked and he said it’s natural (doubt). Expectantly we will get along.

Thu 12/12/20xx 15:32

Dear diary

He saw my yesterday diary page and chuckled a bit, said that I had written his name wrong, it’s Yamino not Yummy something as I said last day. Welp....it’s quite embarrassing. And his smile feels warm, no, his appearance already feels warm. He resembles a big brother to me. His checking was gentle and he brought me some candies, it’s grape flavour, shiny and crystalize, beautiful, just like him.. I need to go now, he will check again at 4pm with another dept’s doctors, I think I will be fine if he’s there lol

Fri 13/12/20xx 04:43

Dear diary

I CAN’T SLEEP, Shu told me to go to sleep soon and patted my head last night. I know he just want me to be comfortable but it makes me feel weirdge in my stomach. Also diary, I will have my tumor’s surgery by the end of this month, Shu’s going to be the lead surgeon, I really look forward to it !

Sat 14/12/20xx 23:54

Dear diary

So basically this morning, Shu did some daily checking on me, we talked for a while and I asked if he had another schedule, he said he didn’t so he was there with me (so if he has, he won’t stay there ???). He also called his friends who move with him to this hospital, I think his name is Ike Eveland and Mysta Rias from different depts. Oh and they allowed me to call them by their first name. They’re all hilarious and friendly, they also said some words that I don’t understand, probably amogus backward or pilk... Shu said that I shouldn’t know them, hmm it’s make me really curious dear my diary.

Mon 16/12/20xx 12:06

Dear diary

Yesterday was amazingggg, Shu took me outside for a small picnic near a pond of the hospital. I guess he’s not really that busy huh. He tried to “rick roll” me by a poem, I dodged it by saying his hair looked like banana. I thought Shu will get angry but he just giggled ><. Oh and he scolded me for stayed up late, I didn’t mean to Yummytoe :(

Tue 17/12/20xx 21:17

Dear diary

Shu sang several songs during his break for me, the best one are “fukujusou” and “tabacco”, his voice was so sweettt. He messed up some words too, that’s adorable. Hey Shu, if you keep looking me with those amethyst eyes I’m going to faint, and pls don’t smile, you gonna make both my heart and brain stop working, jk keep smiling Dr Yamino

Wed 18/12/20xx 10:28

Ayo diary, Vox who also Shu’s friend said that I might have a crush on Shu, but we just meet for a week....

I will ask the other later then

20:28

THEY SAID THE SAME THING, WHAT IS GOING ON

Thu 19/12/20xx 19:39

Dear diary

I have been thinking a lot and I might have a crush on Sh-

__________________________________________

“NO I DON’T OMGGGG” I yelled out of sudden make Luca choked on his pringles.

“WTH why are you yelling ???” he gulped down then stared at me in shocking.

“No, there’s nothing” closing my diary, I laid down and shut my eyes, feeling something poked my cheek.

“It’s not really hard to confirm your feeling toward someone, especially the one that straightforward like Shu” As Luca knew what I was thinking about, he nudged the spoon at me, started to stir his coffee.

“NOOO, you won’t understand, if I say something wrong, our relationship will collapse or being really weirdddd” I whined, rolled on my bed, Luca sighed and sipped his coffee.

“I will call Shu” he stood up, quickly went to door looking for his friend only to met Shu staring at him, ready to open it, I didn’t expect to see him this hour.

“What are you doing here Dr Kaneshiro ?” Shu asked while looking at me, Luca hugged him right away.

“Oh my lovely Shu, this room is so comfy and warm, also I want to find you for something, actually they are the one who want to find you” Luca wiggled his eyebrows looking at me, Shu came in, asked me why I looking for him, but for god sake I cannot even looked in his eyes. Luca saw that situation and started to talk

“They want to ask if they are in love with this pers-” “LUCA” I threw a pillow toward his face, but I guess Shu already heard it all. His voice was steadily, he stared at me and asked:

“So what about that person ?”

#shu yamino x reader #luxiem x reader #luxiem #shu yamino #nijisanji #nijisanji x reader #-eriting

98 notes · View notes

plainbrunettelbl · 4 years

Text

ABO (A) Firefighter Katsuki Bakugo x (O) Reader New Beginnings and Cold Glasses of Water

Word count: 2335

Warning: Mentions of fire.

Title: ABO (A) Firefighter Katsuki Bakugo x (O) Reader New Beginnings and Cold Glasses of Water

Summary: You move to a new town and things start off a little rough.

(Gif isn’t mine. Credit to owner)

💥-It all happened so fast.

💥-You had just moved into your new apartment, you were starting a new life in a new city. You had made a long drive so you only had enough energy to get down your air mattress and things you needed to shower for the night.

💥-You were so glad you were too tired to move anything into your new apartment because that night your new home ended up in flames.

💥-One moment you were sleeping peacefully on your stiff air mattress and the next a loud banging rang throughout your apartment. You gasped awake and frighteningly at the door. You let out a small chirp before you heard a males voice reach your ears.

💥-“This is the Fire Department. Your building is under fire. Please open the door so we can evacuate everyone.” The person yelled.

💥-You instantly jumped into action. You rushed to the front door and opened it. Your sleepy brain made you forget to check to see if the doorknob was hot before grabbing it.

💥-Luckily it wasn’t hot.

💥-The Alpha in front of you both scared and calmed you. His bulky frame was, even more, intimidating with his firefighting gear. You couldn’t see his eyes or much of his face because of his helmet but you just knew he was handsome.

💥-“Is there anyone else in the apartment?” He asked, leaning over your frame and peering inside.

💥-“No. Just me.” You assured.

💥-The smell of smoke finally registered and you were quick to cough. The fireman didn’t ask before he tossed you over his shoulder and led you expertly out of the building.

💥-You heard him radio his team a few times, making sure to know what was going on inside the building. Apparently the top levels were the most affected. Your apartment was near the middle section.

💥-As soon as you were thrown over his shoulder you were plopped onto the pavement in front of the building. Your savior turned around and walked right back into the burning building.

💥-Your eyes caught the bold letters of “chief” on the back of his tanned coat before he was out of your view.

💥-Not knowing where to go or what to do you went to your U-haul and stood against it. You kicked yourself for not getting your phone or keys before rushing to the door.

💥-Fifteen minutes later you were regretting wearing shorts and a loose shirt to bed. It was starting to get chilly even with the building on fire right next to you. Twenty minutes later everyone was out of the building and the fire was put out.

💥-You let out a sigh of relief.

💥-Most of the residents were getting picked up by friends and family. You looked enviously at them. A few ambulances were still around so you worked up the courage to go up to one of them.

💥-You weren’t injured or in need of oxygen so you didn’t want to bother them. When you got to the double doors a man with black hair and a straight smile greeted you.

💥-He was wrapping up someone’s burn when he turned to greet you.

💥-“Hello, what can I do for you?” He asked, peering down at your shivering form.

💥-“I was wondering if I could borrow a phone? I was hoping to call up a shelter to see if they had any bed available.” You explained, nervously playing with the edge of your shorts.

💥-“You aren’t going to a shelter.” A voice barked at you from behind.

💥-In an instant, your body was engulfed in warmth, a heavy weight sat on your shoulders. You looked down and noticed the material radiating the soothing warmth was a fireman's jacket.

💥-By the gruffness of his voice, you guessed the jacket had the letters “chief” on the back.

💥-You turned to the bulky Alpha. Your heart skipped a beat when your eyes connected to his burning scarlet ones. Your Omega purred at his handsome face.

💥-“Where else am I gonna go?” You questioned, discreetly slipping your arms into the sleeves of his jacket.

💥-You told yourself it was just because you were cold and not the fact that his jacket gave off his scent cinnamon scent. Nope, nothing at all to do with his scent.

💥-“You’re coming back to the fire station with us.” He demanded more than stated.

💥-You blinked, not sure how to react.

💥-“No, I’m not.” You said, not sounding too sure of yourself.

💥-“Yes, you are.” He narrowed his eyes.

💥-“Does your crew know you are picking up a stray?” You huffed, peeved that this Alpha was telling you what to do.

💥-“Trust me, my crew wouldn’t mind having an Omega’s presence in the fire station.” He claimed, throwing a strong arm around your shoulders and leading you to the firetruck.

💥-You knew you could have thrown off his arm and went back to the ambulance if you wanted to but a part of you was enthralled with the rough Alpha. You kicked yourself for liking Alphas with no manners.

***

💥-You sat upfront with the Alpha whose name you found out was Bakugo. The unfamiliar buildings flew by. You eyed all the buttons and flashing lights on the console.

💥-Feeling a little upset that he got his way you decided to mess with him.

💥-“Can I ring the horn?” You asked, looking at the bright buttons.

💥-His ruby eyes slid in your direction before turning back to the road. One hand left the wheel to point out a big red button.

💥-“Only once.” He grunted, putting his hand back on the wheel.

💥-Letting out an excited chirp you leaned over and pressed the button. The whine of the horn hurt your ears but the smile on your face didn’t leave your face. The Alpha had a hard time holding back his small grin.

***

💥-Once at the firehouse Bakugo helped you out of the firetruck and led you to his private bedroom and bathroom. Being the chief had its perks. He gave you a big grey shirt that said, “Fire Dept” on the front and a pair of orange basketball shorts.

💥-He set your clothes on the bed before walking back over and getting himself a set of clothes.

💥-“Once you shower you can come down to the dining area and have dinner with us. Don’t make me come back up here and bring you down.” He said, narrowing his eyes before walking out of the room.

💥-Dumb domineering Alpha. You scoffed.

💥-Handsome domineering Alpha. Your Omega purred.

💥-The soot on your skin was starting to get at you so you quickly showered and freshened up. You helped yourself to his hairbrush since you didn’t want to meet everyone with a nest on your head.

💥-You opted out of putting on your dirty socks. You just realized you were shoe-less this entire time. You spotted a pair of black slides by his bed and slipped them on.

💥-They dwarfed your feet and made you feel like you were walking in water flippers but they were better than the cold concrete.

💥-You let your nose follow the scent of food. All of the firefighters were out of their gear and sitting around a big dining room table. You didn’t think you would be able to eat but the site of the food on the table made your mouth water.

💥-You didn’t have to awkwardly claim an unoccupied chair. The big blonde Alpha pointed to an empty seat right next to him at the head of the table. You padded over to your spot and sat down.

💥-You felt intimidated by the amount of Alphas in the room so you didn’t raise your eyes to meet theirs quite yet.

💥-You noticed a lack of commotion and looked around. You tilted your head back when you noticed all eyes were on you. The Alpha closest to was a black-haired muscled woman.

💥-She offered you a kind smile and nodded to the serving dish of mashed potatoes. “Help yourself.”

💥-Oh, you forgot some Alphas didn’t touch their food until the Omegas were severed first. You weakly smiled before grabbing the large spoon and serving yourself.

💥-Once your plate was full of everything that caught your eye, all the Alphas ceremoniously grabbed for the food. Two Alphas, a blonde one and a purple-haired one, shoved each other while trying to get a hold of the bread rolls.

💥-“Thank you.” You said, looking at the ruby-eyed male who was observing you quietly.

💥-All you got from him was a grunt in acknowledgment. You supposed he was done with talking for the night.

💥-“Sorry about your apartment.” The kind Alpha with dark-hair said, patting you on the arm.

💥-You gave her a kind smile, thanking her for her kindness.

💥-“I noticed your baggy clothes and big shoes. I might have some clothes and shoes that would fit you better.” She informed, wishing she didn’t say anything when she felt a pair of crimson eyes burning into her.

💥-The blond Alphas narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head. He wouldn’t let you wear other Alphas clothes. Just the thought of it made his Alpha growl and get ready to pounce on anyone that posed a threat.

💥-She might have been an Alpha herself but the chief was the top Alpha around the station. She instantly backed down, “You know what, I remembered yesterday was laundry day so I might not have anything.”

💥-“That’s fine, thank you, I appreciate the offer.” The staredown between the two Alphas went unnoticed by you.

💥-Once you finished your plate you bid everyone farewell and made your way back to the chief’s private room. You noticed a toothbrush on the bed and made use of it.

💥-You sighed once your tired body rested under the soft sheets of the Alphas bed. The smell of his scent surrounded and comforted you. You didn’t even shut your eyes before a knock sounded on the door.

💥-“Come in.” You sat up in the bed.

💥-Bakugo walked into the room with a glass of water, he came over to the bed and set it on the nightstand.

💥-“Thought you might need it.” He clasped his hands behind his back, trying to keep them from touching you. The urge to do so was strong. His hands had been itching to get you back in his arms ever since he set you down.

💥-“Thank you, Bakugo.” Your fingers nervously played with the sheet.

💥-He smelled your uneasiness.

💥-“What’s wrong, Omega?” He questioned, tensing up at your scared scent.

💥-“I’m grateful that you invited me to stay the night, but this is just temporary. I’m gonna need to start looking for other places. I was lucky enough to get that apartment. I don’t know I’ll be able to find another one.” You chewed on your lip, worried at the thought of being homeless.

💥-“I have a house. It’s pretty big. I wouldn’t mind a roommate.” He couldn’t resist, his hand went up to your chin and pulled your lip away from your teeth.

💥-“I don’t know. Living with an Omega can be difficult.” You said, trying not to nuzzle your head into his hand.

💥-You Omega was very pleased with the Alpha and his gentle touch.

💥-“We can cross that bridge when we get to it. If you are really worried about it, you can look for other places while you’re staying with me.” He reassured, glad his other hand was still behind the back, you weren’t able to his that his fingers were crossed.

💥-He didn’t know if he would be able to let you go after you wiggled your way into his home and undoubtedly his heart. He knew for sure once you made yourself at home in his house, that it would never feel the same without you in it.

💥-You felt a weight lift off your shoulders.

💥-“It’s a deal! You make sure to tell me if I do something to upset you.” You smiled, relieved at his offer.

💥-“I will, Omega. Now, you should get some rest. You had a long night.” He ordered, pushing you down lightly to the bed.

💥-You snuggled down and looked up at him. “Thank you, Alpha.”

💥-“No problem, Omega.”

💥-He walked out of his room, knowing he wasn’t planning on letting you go anytime soon.

Bonus:

💥-Three years later.

💥-You just brushed your teeth and crawled into bed, a hulking figure was already laying in the big bed. You settled down into the sheets and curled into his side.

💥-You laid there a moment before letting out a huff.

💥-“I forgot my cup of water.” You whined, getting up to walk to the kitchen. Before your back could leave the mattress your Alpha was already up and out of bed.

💥-“I’ll get it, Omega. Stay here, you need your rest.” He commanded, gently pushing you back down.

💥-You nodded, burrowing back down into the nest, your big stomach a small hill under the plush comforter. Your little pup was quiet tonight, they were lulled to sleepy by their father’s deep voice, earlier that night.

💥-Suki walked in with a big glass of water. Your greedy hands took it from him, the cold water sliding down your throat making you shiver slightly. You felt a harsh jab against your stomach.

💥-“Oops, someone isn’t a fan of the cold water.” You hummed, softly rubbing your stomach.

💥-“Settle down, it’s time to sleep, little one.” Suki soothed, resting his large hand on your stomach.

💥-They stopped kicking instantly. You handed him the glass and snuggled back down again. He was quick to set the cup down and slip behind you. His chest rumbling with a comforting purr.

💥-You two laid there in sweet silence.

💥-“I”m glad, I didn’t leave.” You whispered, melting into your Alphas embrace.

💥-“I am too.” He rumbled, holding you tighter.

💥-He wasn’t supposed to say it, as a firefighter, but he was glad your building caught on fire.

Lol it would have been a twist if he saw you earlier that day and set your building on fire to get closer to you.

That being said, I finished this yesterday before I got a request asking to make things more GN so while I did edit it to make sure it fits the GN standers I understand that the ending is a fuzzy area. (Please tell me if I missed something in my editing.)

While male Omegas can get pregnant I understand if my masculine readers are put off by the idea. I hope to make my fics more inclusive from here on out! 💙💙

Please reblog and leave a comment! Reading your sweet comments really motivate me to write!

#bakugou katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha katsuki #mha bakugou #bnha bakugou #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #mha imagines #abo #Omega #omegaverse #bnha omegaverse #mha omegaverse #Alpha #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #x reader

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candlestickbud · 3 years

Text

Worthy of Betrayal Pt.1

Howzer x Jedi!GN:Reader [Ep.11 Spoilers]

Description: After the bad batch drop off the weapons to a client of Cid’s, she calls them in for a favor and asks them to help some royal Twi’leks on Ryloth.

Warnings/Notes: I'm predicting that this fic will have 5 parts. Possible smut in the future. Mentions of guns and child kidnapping, minor cussing. Sorry if the story is a little off, I was in a rush to finish. Hope you still like it though!

“What do you mean we have to go back!”

Hunter rose his voice at Cid from the comms on the ship. We were on our way back to Ord Mantel after dropping off weapons to some Twi’leks, a client of Cids. As they were already halfway to the destination, Cid called up the batch to inform us that we had to go back, but this time the location was on Ryloth.

“Hey, you still owe me, remember? Now tell goggles over there to get to Ryloth. I need you to rescue this kid named Hera Syndula, the twi’leks, her parents run Ryloth so we’ll be getting some big bucks, so I suggest you get moving, got that?”

Hunter sighed, “Mind telling us what we have to do to get out of dept?”

“Tell you what, let's say you don't mess this up, and you'll be out of debt. Just fell the big guy to ease up on the mantel mix, wouldya, ” Cid said before hanging up.

Hunter rubbed his face trying to shake off his tiredness.

“What's the word, Sargent, ” Wrecker asked.

“Tell Tech to relocate the route to Ryloth. We have another mission, but this is a mission we can't mess up. We need to save some senators kid.”

“Another senator? They aren't a separatist, are they? There's no way-”

“I didn't ask, and either way we have to take this job to get us out of that debt, ” Hunter cut off Echo, “and besides it's not a senator, just their kid.”

Echo glared at Hunter, “Well you should understand why I plan to not work with separatists, ” he said pointing his cybernetic socket arm at Hunter.

“Wait so who are we saving, ” Omega asked from her room.

Hunter pushed his way past Echo to talk to Omega, hearing Echo scoff as he walked away.

“That kid from earlier,” Hunter said softly.

“Hera? I knew she was in trouble! How can I help,” Onega exclaimed excitedly?

“I’ll let up know once we land. The empire will be there based on what that client said earlier. That's what they needed those weapons for.”

“That could mean that Crosshair would be there, ” Tech yelled from the piloting seat.

“Good! We need to talk some sense into him, get him home, ” Wrecker said.

“I don't think he wants to come home, ” Hunter said coldly.

“Doesn't matter, we need to get him back and remove his chip or whatever.”

Hunter opener his mouth to say something back, but instead walked away to the pilot's seat.

“We should at least try to save him, ” you said sternly.

“Cant save someone that doesn't want to be saved, ” Hunter barked back.

“In case to haven't noticed, we don't know what he wants. That chip is controlling him!”

“I agree with Y/N, ” Wrecker barged in.

“That's not the mission.”

•••

Howzer took off his helmet to ruffle his hair. It was a humid night on the planet of Ryloth, and he's been running around trying to capture a child named Hera with a squad of clone troopers.

“Hey boss, do we stun her or shoot.”

“Stun! She's a child, has some empathy. Besides, I'm sure they want her alive, otherwise, we have no leverage over Cham.”

“You got it, captain.”

There was silence as the squad walked through the place, flashlight in hands and visors on night vision mode as they searched for the child. This seemed very wrong to Howzer. What would the empire want with a child if they already have Cham? Leverage, but for what? They don't plan on hurting the kid, do they?

“What do you think they'll do with the kid, ” Howzer asked his squad.

“Who cared, she's a traitor to the empire. She's lucky she isn't dead yet. Speaking of traitors, don't we have orders to kill whoever betrays the empire?”

“What? That's ridiculous, we should just imprison them, and still, she's a child, soldier. We aren't killing her, ” Howzer scoffed.

The squad quietly whispered to each other. Suddenly a ship hovered over them, landing a few feet behind where they were.

“Stay cautious, that could be their backup.”

“Shoot to kill or stun, ” a trooper asked.

“Stun. I won't tell you again, ” Howser said through gritted teeth.

“Whatever you say, Captain, ” the trooper said with an annoyed tone.

Howzer placed his helmet back onto his head, getting his gun ready and placing it in stun mode.

“I have eyes on them!”

The troopers began shooting blindly at a group of troopers, a Jedi standing in front of then reflecting the shots with a child behind them.

“Hold your fire, ” Howzer exclaimed.

The troopers ignore him.

“I said, hold your fire!”

The troopers looked at each other in confusion and disgust.

“They're wanted by the empire! We need to kill them, they're traitors.”

The troopers began shooting live rounds at the squad.

“But they have a child with them! Stop!”

Howzer put his gun in the gun holder that held itself on his waist, pushing a trooper back. One by one, the trooper squad of 5 became the squad of 2.

“You're not fit enough to be Captain! You're a trait of to the empire! We have to kill them, now!”

“No! This is wrong and you know it! Snap out of it how can you not see that this is wrong, ” Howzer said before being pushed to the ground by Hunter.

“See what you did! You're a traitor, ” the trooper said trying to shake out of Wrecker's grasp.

“You, be quiet, ” you yelled at the trooper.

You walked up to Howzer, cocking your head to the side slightly.

“Hunter, there's something wrong with his chip.”

Hunter looked up at you, scrunching his eyebrows together, “How can you be so sure?”

“He seems...different I can feel it.”

Hunter looked at you and then back ah Howzer, grabbed him by the shoulders, and pushed him up to his feet. You walked towards Howzer and removed his helmet, eyes widening, surprised with how attractive the clone was. You looked at him, placing your hands on his face, inspecting him. Howzer attempted to back off, but Hunter held him in place. He flinched as you placed a hand near the left side of his head, closing your eyes as you felt his chip through the force. You opened your eyes, staring into his eyes, only for him to nervously look away.

“He has his chip, but it's damaged, ” you looked at Hunter as if you were asked for permission.

“Fine. You deal with him. We cat have him running back to the empire to inform them of our arrival. We can't have any attention, this is a stealth mission. We need to focus on saving the kid, ” Hunter said, shoving Howzer towards you.

You caught Howzer and placed your lightsaber close to his face, only for him to flinch against it, his head laying on your shoulder, “Try anything stupid and I'll kill you on sight, got that?”

“I thought that wasn't the Jedi way, ” he said with caution.

You retracted your saber and placed it back on your holders, “There is no Jedi way, ” you scoffed, putting his helmet back on. You knew it would possibly be a distraction to you.

“What do I do with him, ” Wrecker asked, picking up the trooper he held captive.

“Woah, ” the trooper yelped.

Hunter looked at Howzer and then the trooper.

“His chip is active,” you said.

Hunter paused for a second in thought, “Stun him. Look, we’ll look over here, you and Omega look over there, that way we’ll have a better chance of finding the kid.”

“You got it. Cmon, Omega, let's get ahead of them. I think Hera will be pleased to see that you're the one rescuing her, ” you said as you pushed Howzer forward, grabbing Omega’s hand as you led her away, Hunter stunning the clone from behind.

You and Omega stared at Howzer as you walked through the gravel trail.

“Uhm...Why do you two keep starring at me,” he asked.

“To make sure you don't try anything funny, ” you lied.

“Your chip isn't working. That's pretty rare for a clone, ” Omega explained.

“What is this chip that you guys keep talking about?”

You sighed, ” Well, the clones, you included, have these chips that were implanted in you when you were, I think a stage 1 embryo?”

“Stage 2,” Omega corrected.

You chuckled, “A stage 2 embryo, and these chips were implanted in you by the Emperor to have you murder the Jedi. Nearly all of them were killed during order 66. I survived it by chance.”

“Oh…so that’s what that was. I’m sorry.”

You looked at Howzer in confusion, “W-What?”

“I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard to go through I had no idea. When I was out on a mission, we were working with a Jedi and just out of no where, everyone aimed their blasters at the General. They had told us they were traitors to the republic, betrayed the Chancellor.”

“Yeah, that’s because we found out he betrayed us. He was working with Count Dooku.”

Howzer shook his head in disappointment, “You must hate us then, clones.”

You looked at Howzer, sighing as you let go of his shoulder, “No, I don’t. The clones, it’s not their fault, what they did. They’re all being controlled by these chips, being controlled by the empire. I made my peace with the clones once I got informed of this by the batch.”

Howzer walked by your side, “So those troops back there, their chips are also defected?”

“They were, but we got help with removing them. Having the chips mean that’s you’re still a threat. They could activate at any time.”

“Why not stun me? Like him back there.”

You thought for a moment, “Just because your chip isn’t activated doesn’t mean your not with the empire. For all we know you could still be loyal to them. We didn’t wanna risk the possibility of activating your chip, and we couldn't have you go off to the empire.”

“Oh. What do you uh plan on doing with me once you find the kid?”

“If I’m being completely honest with you, I’m not sure.”

“Well, that’s reassuring,” he chuckled nervously.

He scratched the back of his neck, looking at you as if hesitant to ask a question.

“I can feel you looking at me. What is it?”

Howzer looked away, “U-Uhm I was just uh…” he stuttered, “Uhm, where were you? During order 66.”

You smiled at his struggle, a smile still placed on your face when he asked the question.

“I uh I was actually in my ship. It was on a mission I was in with my droid to Ord Mantel, I was supposed to get intel on this bounty Hunter I’ve been hunting down. My droid saved me from the clones.”

“Lucky you weren’t assigned with a squad.”

You chuckled, “Yeah really.”

You and Howzer heard rustling from a bush that was up ahead. Howzer got in front of you, trying to take a closer look.

“Come out! We know you're there,” Howzer yelled.

You grabbed Howzer’s shoulder, “Maybe you should keep it down. If it’s Hera, she could be scared since you are supposed to be hunting her down,” you rolled your eyes in his idiocy.

“Oh, uh, right, ” he backed up.

Howzer removed his helmet. He's very well aware that citizens are often scared of the armor rather than what's underneath it. You glanced and him in admiration until you heard the bush rustle again.

“Hera? It's me and Omega, remember? We were selling those weapons to your uncle, ” you said calmly.

Slowly peaking out from the bush, you saw Hera’s head, “Omega?”

Omega waved at her, “Hello,” she smiled.

Hera got out from the bush, “What are you doing here?”

“We’re here to rescue you.”

Hera looked at Howzer with wide eyes, “H-He’s”

“Not with the empire,” Howzer said confidently, “Not anymore that is.”

“They’ll kill you,” Hera said walking towards Howzer.

“Not unless they catch me,” He smiled, patting her head.

You smiled at his kind act, “Hunter, we found Hera. We’re on our way back,” you looked at Howzer, “What are we going to do with...,” you whispered into your commlink.

“Hey! I never got your name, ” you said nervously.

“Oh! Uh, the name’s Howzer, ” he smiled, “What about you?”

You chuckled, “In your dreams, pal.”

“What are we going to do with Howzer, the clone.”

You heard Hunter sigh into his commlink, “We’ll stun him when we leave. Take him back with you in case we get spotted.”

“Hunter, we can't just leave him here. Hera knows him, he could be useful to us.”

There was no reply.

“Hunter?”

“Yeah, ” he sighed, “I'm here. Look just get over here we’ll talk when you get back.”

You walked over to Howzer with a smirk on your face, “Lucky you, Hunter doesn't want to kill you, ” you swung your arm over his shoulders, “Now you're really fucked.”

Howzer looked at you like a confused dog, “What do you mean? What you think I can’t handle a couple of clones and a Jedi?”

You laughed, “We ain’t your typical squad,” you smirked.

He got in your face, “Try me. I’ve been with many squads. What’s so different about you guys?”

You inched closer to his face, “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

There was a pause until the both of you burst out laughing.

“Cmon, we gotta get back to them.”

“You got it, General.”

You stopped in your tracks, looking back at Howzer. You were going to say something but decided to let it go.

“Cmon girls. We have to get back to the ship.”

“Coming, ” they said laughing.

•••

“I never noticed how nice your hair is, ” you said ruffling Howzer’s hair.

He kindly swatted your hand away, “Thanks, ” he said while rolling his eyes.

You looked at his face, eyes scanning over his scars. You choose not to ask him about them. Not yet anyway. The girls whispered and giggles to each other throughout the walk to the marauder.

“What are you two talking about?”

“Nothing, ” they chuckled devilishly.

Both you and Howzer looked at them questionably, the at each other.

You shook your head, “Kids, huh?”

“Reminds me of my younger days, making fun of brothers for having a crush. Of course, that was before order 66. Good memories.”

The four of you continued to walk and began to see the ship, with Hunter sitting at the entrance of the ship.

“Took you long enough, ” he said as he got up, “We need to talk.”

You nodded, “Ladies, ” you smiled down at Omega and Hera, “into the ship. Omega show Hera our little secret since she’ll be with us for a bit.”

“Ooh! Good idea. Hera, follow me.”

The two children ran their way into the marauder, Howzer squatting down on the floor, patiently waiting for an invitation inside. Hunter grabbed you and pulled you off to the side, away from Howzer.

“Look I don't want to take him with us. He seems sketchy.”

You sighed and nodded in agreement, “Yes, I know but I'm sure he means well. I'll look after him but Hunter, something tells me that we can trust him. Howzer seems like a good guy. Hera seems to trust him and she knew him when he was working with her dad.”

Hunter looked at Howzer to see him awkwardly wave at him.

Hunter cursed, “Fine, but if anything and I mean anything, happens, he's off the ship.”

You nodded, giddily walking over to Howzer, then clapping your hand on his shoulder.

“What’re you doing just standing here like an idiot? C’mon,” you snickered.

“Well, excuse me for trying to be polite, ” he smiled, Hunter glaring him down as you all entered the ship.

#thebadbatch #howzer #captainhowzer #star wars clones are hot #star wars clones #captain howzer #Howzer x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars #tbb omega

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g-on-ef · 3 years

Note

Blitz decides to take up Strikers offer because frankly, he’s confused. For the first time, someone has gave him respect, and treated him like an equal. Is this what life could be like for him? He can feel the chemistry between himself and Striker, it’s different than the transactional fucks with Stolas.

He leaves a note for M and M and Loona, explaining everything, that he’ll be gone for a while, because he has things he has to work out. Honestly, Blitz thinks they won’t even miss him.

Blitz leaves with Striker that night, with Strikers tail curled round Blitz’s hip.

A/N: saw an opportunity to turn this into a mini fic and I did ^^ characters might be slight oc

Blazing red eyes met emerald green ones.

It was so tempting to say yes to give in to Strikers words and join him and his crusade.

His words screaming in his head, drowning out every other thought and reason as to why he shouldn't agree to Strikers plan.

But why not? After all Striker was right Stolas saw him as a plaything and treated him like he was lower than the Prince.

Blitz would never admit it but Stolas's words cut him deep.

Reminding him how he's only an imp, always sexualizing him, talking down on him, making him feel like all he's good for is a good fuck.

Not to mention how that while he agree to be his bodyguard he realized what a fool he was, Stolas could have easily defended himself and his daughter and yet he invited him and his employees and all that it got them was Blitz being reminded of the awful time he spend there, Moxxie and Millie getting hurt and that cheap ass robo clown reminding him yet again how everyone feels about him.

But if agree to join him ... What would happen to Moxxie and Millie ??? His precious Loony ??? He doubts that Striker would let them join them, what will he do without them?

"Well Blitz?"

Blitz felt like he was drowning in his thoughts and Strikers voice was able to pull him out from the very depts of his mind.

"What's your answer?" His tail wrapped itself around Blitz's waist and pulled him closer to Strikers body.

Blitz placed his hands on Striker's chest, their eyes never leaving each other.

However Striker placed his hands down and backed away a little leaving enough room for Blitz to breath and not feel like he was being corner into giving the answer Striker wants to hear.

His tail however remain wrapped around his waist.

Blitz looked away as his hand began to pet Striker's tail the cowboy began to purr making Blitz smile a little, his smile however fell as he thought about the situation they are in.

"I...I don't know," there he said it, he wasn't sure if he should agree to this or not. While the idea was tempting he wasn't sure if he could do it, if he was the one to help Striker to fight along side with him. Sure they tied in the games but does that even mean anything? Is he qualify to stand beside Striker.

After all Blitz maybe a good assassin but he wasn't that good.

Than again his insecurities sure were screaming loudly today reminding him that he'll never be good enough.

He felt a gloved hand under his chin, lifting his head, making him look Striker in the eyes.

"What do you mean?" His voice was soft, not annoyed or angry nor demanding but soft as if he was going at Blitzs pace.

Blitz gulped. This was another thing about Striker that Blitz admire.

The patience he had with him.

Blitz wasn't a fool he knew he could be a bit to much but the short time he and Striker spent together Striker showed him he genuinely liked Blitz and his company.

Last night definitely proved how much Striker loved Blitzs company.

Shaking his thoughts from straying he focus on the question he asked.

"I can't abandon M&M or Loony they're my family,"

H expected him to say something rude about them, find some way to manipulate him into turning his back against his employees.

Striker looked at Blitz and could see how vulnerable he was being, how sacred he was of something awful happening to him after saying no. Not only that but he could see his insecurities clear as day.

They were slowly rising up from whatever cage Blitz had them locked in, could see how they were giving him doubts reminding him of all the lies that everyone has ever told him until they became his version of the truth.

He can't help but wonder exactly what Goiesha and others before that pompous asshole did to him to make him scared to say no. Or feel like he wasn't good enough. Striker vow to hunt them all and kill them.

Striker pulled Blitz closer to him wrapping his hands around Blitz he hugged the smaller imp.

He could feel Blitz body freezing and the contact and not knowing what to do.

Striker ignored that and instead kissed the top of his head.

"I hate being being a weak ass bitch but for you I'll be one Blitz, if you want a better life for them then getting rid of Goiesha and the rest of the overlords is our best bet, I may fuck around wit Moxxie but even I can see how much you care for him and Mildred. Not to mention how much you love your daughter. I won't force you to say yes but think about it okay?"

He tighten his arms around him.

"You have so much untapped potential, don't let fucktards like Goeshia make you think otherwise.

He pulled back from Blitz his tail gave him one last squeeze before uncoiling itself from his body he gave Blitz one last smile before giving him a piece of paper.

"my number if and when you're ready to join me,"

Striker left him alone before he was out of the room. Leaving Blitz alone with his thoughts.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Blitz packed his things away Striker was gone, neither Millie nor her parents knew where he went they were however mad he left them without a warning.

Blitz packed his things away, last night he barely got any sleep hell he was ready to just off himself so that he could sleep.

Last night all he could think about was Striker and how the other imp made him feel.

It wasn't just mutual respect it was the fact that he was attracted to the other imp their fuck before the games was the best fuck Blitz had.

Not only that but he trusted Striker enough to bottom and he rarely did that.

He remembers how Striker made him feel, challenged, appreciated, cared for, Striker was bringing so many feelings out of Blitz he never knew he had.

Not to mentioned that Striker made him question everything he knew.

Striker referring him as a plaything to Stolas cut deep, not because it was Strikers intentions but because how true they were.

Not to mention it didn't matter how far Blitz got he was still a lowly imp who only existed to obey orders from those higher than him.

Him giving into Stolas's demands proved that.

Sure he could use that he gets to keep the book and only has to visit him during the full moon but that didn't change the fact that he was basically Stolas's bitch.

Loo Loo Land and The Harvest Moon Festival were perfect examples of him doing whatever Stolas said just because he got paid or he was wear down until he gave in.

Striker ... Striker did the one thing no one has ever done for him ... he gave him a choice ... he asked him to join him; not once did he try to force Blitz to say yes or kept pushing till h gave in.

Even now he was giving him the choice to say yes or no.

He could've done so many things to force him to say yes instead he gave him space didn't push for more than what Blitz was willing to share nor did he manipulate the situation into his favor he just respect Blitz and left him be.

Blitz wonder if he should give into temptation, say yes and see how far he could go and the extent of his power.

Looking at Millie, Moxxie, and Loona ... he wonder how they would feel if he left.

He secretly wonders if they would even care that he's gone.

Loona didn't really care for him and Moxxie was only there because of Millie and we'll Millie loves killing so he wonders if she even cares about him or just loves that she gets to kill humans.

Fitzorallys words cut deep because it was a question he always tried to avoid asking himself because he knew deep down no one did.

He wasn't stupid, he knows he can be a bit much, overbearing and annoying so will they even miss him?

He takes a deep breath and shoves that question deep within his subconscious, just another query that he will avoid as much as he can.

"Sir are you okay?"

Blitz lifted his head and looked at his fam- employees

He could see them eyeing him carefully wondering what was wrong with their boss.

"Yeah Moxxie everything is fine,"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Three weeks later

Striker open the door before he could even knock.

The cowboy IMP wasnt wearing his hat which made him look sexier than with it on.

"You came,"

"Yeah ... I did ... I'm in,"

Striker nodded his head he grabbed Blitz's bag and jerk his head a movement that told him to follow him to wear Bombproof was.

Blitz followed him. After much deliberation Blitz decided to follow Striker. He couldn't give a good reason as to why he wanted to join him.

Perhaps it could be do to his words, or maybe because he genuinely like Striker and wanted to see how far their relationship could go there many reasons as to why he decided to join Striker but he did know one thing for sure

He knew that if he wanted to make it to the top he'll need to stop serving bitter sinners and partner up with Striker and kill the unkillable. Make them pay for all the shit they put him and IMPs and hellhounds through.

Striker was right if he wanted his employees to have a good life he'll need to change the system

He already left a note to M&M as well as Loona he told them that he would be gone for a few weeks as he had somethings to figure out.

He of course before meeting or contacting Striker, Blitz met up wit Stolas told him that he can have him for a whole day to do whatever Stolas wanted the only thing he asked was for him to give Millie, Moxxie, and Loona 2.5 million dollars each that way they'll at least have money and not worry about anything for the time being.

Worst day of his fucking life but it was worth it. Stolas of course wanted to know why Blitz demanded for such a thing.

Blitz just gave him the finger threw his book in his face and left.

Striker put his bags over Bombproof before his hands grabbed Blitz's waist and hoisted him up placed him on Bombfires back.

Striker got on his hellhorse with ease.

He felt Striker's lips on his forehead before Striker's tail wrapped itself around his waist pulling Blitz closer to him.

"You won't regret this,"

Blitz smiled at Striker before cupping his face leaning forward he kissed Striker the two shared a soft passionate kiss

The two pulled back giving each other soft smiles. Blitz curled up on Striker's chest letting out soft purrs as Striker ordered Bombfire to move.

Blitz for the first time in weeks slept peacefully while Striker brought the smaller imp closer to his body his tail tightening itself around his waist not once did it let go of his beloved.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Imma be honest with y'all ... It was not supposed to be this long ... Oh well tell me what you guys think ^^

#blitzo helluva boss #helluva striker #blitzo x striker #helluva blitzo #helluva boss #answers asked #anon #anonymous #ficlet

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aineryeo · 3 years

Text

Prominence ௹ ATSUMU

The letters of the first few days when you parted ways 📨

Prominence: “Find someone great, but don’t find someone better.” You’d say to yourself, though it was directed to your ex-boyfriend, writing in a number of papers, serving as letters. Awaiting your impending doom.

Timeskip! Atsumu x Reader

Synopsis: You break up with Atsumu Miya in hopes to alleviate his pain. And for what he'd have to deal with. » 6.2k Words

Warnings: Depictions of Mental Illnesses & actual disease, Angst, Suicidal tendencies, Cursing, Atsumu is an impulsive bitch, so is reader. Read at your own discretion. Do not read if this has any sort of possibility to trigger you, more if you feel encouraged to do something you shouldn’t. This isn’t what the fic is about.

It was a rainy day, droplets of water knocking on the window of what was your empty room. It wasn’t a space you were supposed to be getting used to at this point in your long life. A faint tune of a piano was penetrating through your thin walls as you stared into nothing in particular, maybe the particles that become visible with the peek of sunlight through the gray clouds piercing through your window pane.

Your body got up, but you had a stinging migraine, your limbs were weak, and today was an off-day from your work as a bustling city journalist. No phone calls for a sudden need for your presence in your job. Your blanket was wrapped around you loosely, your feet navigating through your creaking floors. How depressing.

Empty fridge.

Messy bed.

Disorganized papers.

And clothes in unsuspecting places.

Your clothes. None of his. You can’t even reminisce about him anymore. Your migraine seems to have gotten worse. You spot one of the few things that were left organized. Your letters. You grimaced, the pain suddenly pushed to the back of your head as you were reminded of the contents.

“It won’t be bad to see him, at least once.” You reason to yourself with a small smile, it wasn’t a happy one. Nonetheless it was one. One reason out of many when you were always reminded that he was already happy, that Atsumu no longer needed you, and your relationship was a ghost of the past.

It has been for a month now, how else would it go, when you were the one who ended it?

Yeah, it was a bad idea to see him. You scold yourself for coming here, furthering your torture. You see him with a huge smile, bigger than when he was with you. Brighter than when you last picked a joke, at least that was what you thought. You dated him since you were sixteen, young, and fresh in-love.

“Tsum, baby, not here.” You vaguely make out, from hiding behind one of the tall bleachers near the exit from where their practice usually resided in. She was very pretty, her voice silky. You hear a rumbling chuckle in return, you feel your spine shudder at the familiarity. “Hm, honey where do ya want me ta do it then? I jus’ can’t resist ya.” You took your small window to catch a glimpse of them. The perfect lovers.

This was selfish, you knew it. But you inwardly cheered for him, happy to know that he found someone great. That he was happy, even if it was at your expense. Your eyes were glossy, dams about to break, so you walk away; like you always do, like you always did. Your mouth formed into a shaky frown, your fists clenching ‘till you were white-knuckling nothing in particular. White-knuckling all your pain, perhaps.

It was when you exited the establishment, into the car park, into your cheap second-hand car, did your tears fall; until everything kept breaking, your multi-functional tape to bar all your emotions inside, failing you for the umpteenth time for the past month. You were all alone, still clutching your keys to open the door to the driver’s seat. When you felt a hand on your shoulder, which made you jolt, you were too surprised that you didn’t get to wipe your residual breakdown off your face.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Your blurry eyes adjusted, and your heart almost jumped at the familiar face. You turned your face away from him, you were too ashamed to show your face to him. To the brother of the man you were still in love with. You changed your voice a few octaves higher, “Yeah! Thanks, sorry you had to see that.” Mishandling your keys before being able to open it quickly, though Osamu stopped you just as fast.

“I know it’s you, Y/N.”

You froze. “I’m not—”

Hearing a small laugh from him made you stop. “I think I’ve seen your car enough times before, with the same plate to know that it’s you when I parked right next to it.” Turning back, he already had his hand out holding a handkerchief.

“Sorry.”

He smiled sympathetically at your small figure, noticing that you’ve gotten smaller than you already were. More fragile. So he placed his hand that was roughly the size of your face, gently on top of your head to stroke it, hoping to bring you some comfort; roughly knowing the situation about you and his brother. How couldn’t he?

“It’ll be okay.”

It’s not. You recall, already sitting in your bathtub, not really crying, not really feeling anything of the sort. You exhaled as if it lightened your burdens. It won’t be.

You hum. Knees to your chest, “Not when...” You sigh, not now.

It was time for work, tedious work that requires you to write articles and camp out places at 2am in the morning, only to turn up and camp out at a different place again, just hoping for an interview for your channel. You didn’t feel like breaking down at all, but it felt like everything is typically more down. You refused to eat when your co-workers asked you to join them, you had no appetite.

You hadn’t for weeks.

A heavy feeling is always stuck inside you. Like everything is screaming at you, but you can’t scream back. You just can’t. Always heaving sighs, always staring into what once was blue skies, turned dull grey. Was it because you regretted having to let go of him? Or was it because of the news you had received prior to when you left him? Was it because the one time you felt like you couldn’t walk, the doctor told you that you had a few left; extend your life with a surgery that was high-risk.

Your hand ran through your hair for the umpteenth time, thoughts drifting to whether you should just end it quicker than what you had. What was the point? You failed to notice that your hand was writing on another piece of paper, as if documenting everything that ran through your mind. And maybe you wanted them to find out, when you’re gone. So you don’t have to face the burden of facing them afterwards and giving them any answers.

But you don’t want to ruin the happiness Atsumu had right now. He’ll blame himself, but this was all your fault. You ended it with a bad note so he’d forget you easily, you yelled at him, told him that he was useless, you didn’t love him anymore. You open your eyes, seeing yourself back at the situation where it all began, and where it all ended.

“Atsumu, I hate you.”

“Angel, what are ya saying? I said I was sorry! I’m tired from practice.” He replied, he was tired. He was stressed. You were stressing him. And he was getting rightfully agitated, it was working.

Your thoughts briefly flash to the days before, same old. You chose to do it days slowly, so it wouldn’t be too sudden; so he’d lose all love for you once you leave him. So you nitpick him again, even though it never really bothered you, “You always do this. Maybe we should just...” You swallow, it was like eating hard, bitter candy at once.

“What? Break up? Yeah, with your incessant yappin’ these days, Y/N, I wouldn’t mind one bit.” He said, looking at you with a harsh gaze. Similar to when some random fan begins screaming during his serving routine. You were nothing now. You nodded, if he had the right mind that time, he would’ve noticed that you were eerily calm; you were expecting this, why wouldn’t you?

“Yeah, break up.” You confirmed, with a somber smile. He hadn’t even noticed that more than half of your things were already gone from your shared apartment. You had one last suitcase, it was right beside the door. Atsumu failed to notice all the little things disappearing, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if he failed to also stop you before you hung your apron on the rack, turning the stove off, he was already gone. Into his bedroom, where he slept, too tired for anything his aching muscles couldn’t take right now. Your keys left untouched on the table before you left him altogether. Always, just always looking back with a heavy grimace.

The skies were the same color from that day, to everyday, same grey.

It wasn’t long before you found out he had a new love. Apparently an avid, and innocent fan of his whom he met during one of his morning runs in the park.

“What’re you writing there, Y/N?” One of your co-workers as of now, Akaashi Keiji, brought your head back up in the present. You hummed, folding the paper your hand subconsciously wrote in, and placing it in your pocket. “Nothing, really. My hand just kind of moves on its own when I think of anything in general.”

He smiles, sweet. “That’s endearing. Must be why you’re quite famous in the department.”

You chuckle, “I’m not famous, Keiji. If anything, this job just keeps giving me migraines. You’re the real MVP as a great editor in your dept.”

His hand was rubbing his nape, laughing softly with you. You stood up, supposed to get some water only to fall back down again. Your co-worker quickly catches you with worry etched in his delicate features.

“Y/N, have you been eating?” No, but..

“Keiji, I can’t feel my legs.”

It was showing.

You asked Keiji not to tell anyone, he in turn, asked if any of your family members knew this. It made you chortle, you said, “No. My grandmother died years ago, I’m an only child, and my parents didn’t last.” It wasn’t a funny thing, you knew that but it made you laugh anyway. Laugh at how pathetic you were.

He looked at you, on your bed at your home that he had kindly helped you in after calling your doctor from before. Saying it was that the disease was starting to become severe, causing your limbs, your legs, your arms, to lose its sensation. Slowly, you’ll become more agitated, and it’ll be harder for you to talk, or even move. Only your co-worker, and your boss knew for the time-being.

“You don’t have to help me. I know you’re busy.” You said, though weak, “I’ll only weigh you down.”

Keiji sighed, he knew that you worry too much about other people, he knew that you got lost enough to stop thinking about yourself. And it was sad, he empathized with you in the way that you were both overthinkers, though he’d understood for a while that you were more hasty with decision-making.

“No.” He said, simple.

You looked down at the blanket that covered your bottom half, your top half facing the big, musty, old window next to your bed. Facing away from Akaashi.

“Why?”

He was quiet for a few seconds, save for the usual noise from the surrounding roads. He looked up, before he looked back at your weak figure. “It’s just you—you’re all alone.” Walking around to the other side so he can face you. About to utter a tad more to his sentence, he stopped when he saw your eyes blown wide, a bit red at the bottom, a hard attempt to stop tears from falling. He didn’t miss a beat after, quickly crouching, and allowing your head to rest on his chest.

“So I thought you could use some company.”

You appreciated your co-worker, now close friend’s generous help. It’s been a few weeks, and you’ve been spending it cooped up in the hospital. He had also forced you to finally admit yourself so you can get immediate assistance in the case that something similar were to happen again. A similar event where he was forced to carry you to your car, and drive you home.

The cords stuck to your skin to hydrate you was a bother, but it was manageable. Here were your last few months alive. You still had no idea why you couldn’t just leave. You had no specific goal, you were bound to hit rock-bottom, and the least you can get is a few more months, maybe years of living if you get the surgery. There was no point, nothing to live for. You could work on your career, but what can you really do with legs that can barely stand, and… hands that can’t even pick up a pen.

The latter was the one that you cried to every night if you had tears to spare. The latter was the one where you try to continuously hit your head in hopes it can keep writing. It was such a simple task, why couldn’t it do its job? When Akaashi came to visit one afternoon, he had to rush and grab the sharp pen you had in your barely moving left hand, attempting to dig it in the skin of the right. Just to feel if it was still alive.

Then it was requested to have no pens, or sharp objects left near you without supervision. You’d call your friends, if by friends, you mean other than occasional visits from your co-workers that didn’t know much about your personal life; but still had the courtesy of visiting you nonetheless after hearing news from the boss, you’d consent to it since you were leaving the field. But he hasn’t fired you yet, apparently.

Sometimes it shifts, when your arms refuse to work, your legs will move for a bit, vice versa. A frown forms on your face when it happens to be both. Why couldn’t this just be quicker? You ponder, and hear the door open. Expecting the only person who visits you so frequently.

“Keij—” You stopped. He stopped. “What are you doing here?”

“Hm? So I can’t visit ya now?” Oh, his familiar tone.

“How did you even know I was here?” You said, a bit agitated.

“Asked one of yer co-workers.” He shrugged.

“...You visited my workplace? And they told you immediately?” You raised your brow, bringing your body up to sit on the bed instead. It was a feat on its own, but he’d seen your struggle, he was about to reach and help actually.

“Yeah, I had deliveries to make.” He said, leaning back. “And I may have made them slip it after overhearin’ yer name. Couldn’t resist my charm.”

“You’re ridiculous, ‘Samu.” You smiled, for the first time in a while. He could tell that it wasn’t a normal occurrence in a while, the thought of at least alleviating your stress for a bit eased a tide inside Osamu.

Osamu took his hat off, putting it on the table next to your bed. He was humoring you, because he didn’t want you to see the first look on his face when he confirmed that it really was you who's been confined here. Not any other person with the same name. He sat on the sofa beside you, next to the window. You’d lie if your heart didn’t clench at the sight of him, If you’d look inside, you’ll spot the tinge of pain; but outside, all Osamu could see was that you still adored him. By that, he meant his brother. He knew he might trigger you due to him being the twin of what was your love. Still is, he was sure.

Clearing his throat, your trance broke. “Y/N.”

“Hm.” You lay your back flat on the metal headboard covered in the white pillows of your white bed, in your white room.

“Why are you here?” It was true that Osamu had heard you were confined in the hospital while he was making deliveries to your place coincidentally, so he couldn’t help but perk his ears. Despite your break-up, he was still your childhood friend, and although he heard of the story of how it ended from none other than his brother’s dull voice on the phone that night he was closing up Onigiri Miya; he knew there must’ve been something that caused you to do that other than Atsumu himself. He’d investigate, and help rekindle the lifelong relationship you both shared if he wasn’t so busy himself. And if his brother hadn’t immediately used a rebound to inflict immediate pain upon you, maybe he’d have considered it.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged.

Osamu sighs, “You do. Tell me,” he looks at you with sincerity, placing his coarse palm from the work he’s been juggling in, on top of your pale, lifeless hands. Almost wincing at the cold temperature they held, “Please.”

You sucked in a breath, he placed his, what you assume to be, warm hand on top of yours. But you felt nothing. So you let it out, “I have Friedreich’s Ataxia. Apparently it’s genetic, uh, doesn’t allow me to use these flimsy things.” You glanced at your legs, slightly waving them along with your hands, “I can’t even feel the warmth of your hand right now. I mean, that is, if you’re warm. It’s always cold here. The doctors said they’d try to give me therapy and train me to walk again, or actually use my hands.” You chuckle.

“And something about heart surgery, though that won’t really extend my life for long.” You finish, opting to insert a joke that you thought was bright until you let it out, “Better than turning out blind though! Haha… Kidding, it may happen to me too, which sucks, by the way.”

Your rambling was cut off when you were met with an intense stare from Osamu. “And you’ve found out of this, when?”

“...Nearly 2 months.. Ago?” You gulped the lump that was stuck in your throat.

Osamu rested his elbows on his knees, thinking. “So that was the reason?”

You retained silence.

He sighs. “I knew it would be a valid reason, but I really wasn’t hoping it would be this.” His face hidden in his big hands, frustration was visible. But it was the breathy question of, “Why are the gods this cruel?” To which your eyes soften, albeit a little bit.

“Samu, can I ask a favor?”

He looks at you, face out of his palms. “Sure.”

“Can you… Turn the TV on?” He raised a brow at first before standing up and getting the remote by the stand, switching it on, immediately being greeted by the sports channel on Volleyball. Oh, they had a game today. He had nearly forgotten due to this new revelation from you. He looked at your face that was staring directly at the screen, then he saw the number thirteen, and his heart clenched tighter.

He placed the remote on the table beside your bed, and he took his black cap. He spun it on his finger for a bit, “I won’t tell ‘Sumu.”

You hummed again, before looking at him. “Thank you.” Then he smiles sweetly at you before turning around, his face immediately turning into a painful grimace. Because even he could feel the tragedy of this love.

Each day you were gone was a punch in the gut for Atsumu. His initial lack of reaction to his overreaction, trying to get back at you for leaving him. It was wrong. All he ever wanted was to call you, tell you to come back, have you in his arms, the lot. He’d miss the smell of your hair when he hugs you tight, or the clean apartment whenever he comes home to you beaming, cooking dinner; like his precious wife-to-be. Though he hadn’t proposed, the ring he bought for you started collecting dust in his drawer.

The girl he was with didn’t really last long, she broke it off after getting annoyed by him calling your name instead of hers on any normal occasion on impulse. His head in his hands, bed half-empty. His games gave him a little bit of adrenaline, but every time he sees the empty spot saved for you in his jersey, the adrenaline will scafe off, bit by bit. It’d be a lie if he said that he didn’t at least try to call your number in the past two months, he had actually, for a couple of times. But your number was unreachable, and your social media was non-existent.

It was like you weren’t real. Like a ghost. Sand that was slipping far from his fingers, his hold. His hold loosened in a moment of weakness.

To say his biggest regret was the night you left was a lie, because the biggest regret he ever made was never immediately trying to get you back. He was dazed off in the locker rooms after one of their games, his water bottle in hand. Hinata waved in front of him, Bokuto right next; to which his daze cut off.

“You okay, Tsum?”

He smiled, nodding. But his teammates knew it wasn’t the same for a while now. He was more rigid and tired in his movements. Probably not the kind of exhaustion that could be solved by sleep.

“Yeah, no worries.” Even Sakusa worriedly glances once in a while, he still cares, though not openly shown. Atsumu slung his gym bag over his shoulders after changing, he decided to visit his brother in his shop for now. He was walking out to drive when he accidentally bumped into someone, trapped in his little thoughts about you again.

“Oh—Sorry, didn’t see ya there.” Atsumu apologized, knowing it was his fault.

“It’s okay, Miya-san.” It took a few moments before Atsumu registered who this was.

“Akaashi? Keiji? Bokuto talks about ya all the time! Nice to meet ya.” He smiled, putting his hand out for him to shake. To which the latter man does. Oh, Akaashi recognizes him, not just from being his friend’s teammate; but from being your ex. He concluded in his thoughts by the few seconds they shook hands that he wished for him to not find out about you any longer. Thinking about the pain it would cause for both of you, especially him. They nodded at each other before bidding goodbyes and heading off to their own destinations.

Atsumu drove past the busy streets of the city, traffic holding him back a little bit. He was stopped a little bit in front of the city hospital. He didn’t know why, but his gaze lingered on the building a little longer than he’d like to admit. His left hand clutching the wheel, the other on the stick; Why does it feel like… He shakes his head to rid himself of ridiculous thoughts, seeing as the cars were finally moving, he did too.

Just as his foot pressed on the accelerator, his eyes landed on you. His eyes were the widest it had been, and this was the day he felt the most emotions since the day you left him.

“Y/N?” He asks, though his window was turned up and he was inside his car. He must be going crazy. Were you on a wheelchair? Was it really you? Or were his eyes playing tricks on him again, just like it had been every time he visited places he used to go with you. Or when he needed anything in particular, his first call in the apartment would be your name, expecting an answer back like you always had been.

He rolls his window down, and at that moment he swears your eyes met before you quickly changed vision. He’d run out of his car to chase you right now, if it weren’t for the honking behind him. Fuck.

He drives forward, and goes around to park for the hospital real quickly. Just to see if he wasn’t going insane by the amount of times he’d imagined seeing you again. He looks around the area, arriving at the greener part of the hospital, probably one of the places where they take some patients out for walks. Atsumu’s heart beats faster when he sees the same beautifully familiar hair, and angelic face he’s fallen in love with. He misses a beat, he stops, just plainly admiring; he notices your weaker stature, and your crest-fallen face. Paler skin, and limp limbs. And for that mistake, he fails to notice you were being guided in already.

He panics. About to bolt when he suddenly trips over his feet, and gets a bloody knee as the door closes. That doesn’t stop Atsumu, no, he’s dealt with much worse; one of which was the pain of not having you in his life. So he runs, and he sees the wheelchair you resided in enter the elevator; and once again, he swears, he swears, that his breath catches in his throat as he sees your eyes, and you see his.

And maybe he didn’t know, and maybe you didn’t know, but for the first time in months, you both saw colors.

“She was there, ‘Samu, I was sure of it!” Atsumu yells even in the midday of the bustling Onigiri Miya.

“Yer delusional as always, ‘Sumu. Ya should get yer head checked.” Osamu says from the kitchen in the back, there was faint squealing from the men and women alike in the restaurant. Feeling blessed for being able to witness the Miya twins in one sitting. And bantering, no less; even if it was over a girl.

“I can’t have mistaken it. I know when I see ma’ girl, Samu. Ya know it.” Atsumu groans, burying his head in his arms on the counter. “But when I asked the nurses, none of ‘em are giving me details. They say there ain’t Y/N L/N on their recent list of confined patients.”

Osamu was lucky he was working the kitchen right now, because he was low-key nervous of what to say, to not compromise you. How was his brother so close to it anyway? He wants to drive him away. He thinks he can agree with your rationale, but when he thinks of his brother’s side, wouldn’t it be more painful to just find out that you were just… Gone? His mind was splitting in half because of this dreaded situation, until Atsumu called him out again.

“Hey, ya scrub! Are ya even listening to me?” Atsumu lightheartedly yelled as Osamu’s heart softened. If anything, he didn’t want to see his brother bear the pain of losing you, permanently.

“Yeah, yeah. Shut yer trap. I have a business running here. Yer scaring off the customers.” Osamu says, getting out of the kitchen, arms crossed with a scowl.

“Help me, Samu. I just… Can’t bear to lose her.” Atsumu finally says, with a lace of evident longing. Osamu’s face contorts into a myriad of reactions that he couldn’t pick from. Before he settled with a sigh, and a lean on his forearms to poke his brother roughly on the forehead. A grunt of pain from the blonde.

“The only one who can help ya is yerself. If ya want to go find her, go ahead. Whatever your choice will be, don’t let it end with regret.” Was all he said before he went away to tend to the girls who were about to order, red-faced, and all.

Atsumu didn’t understand it a bit. How was that supposed to help him? He thinks. His fist digging into his cheek, face contorted into heavy thinking. It went on like that. He had no other clue, but he kept visiting the hospital, kept driving through, hoping he could catch a glimpse of you; to prove to himself that you were real. But for the first few days, he had no sign of you whatsoever. He kept bugging the nurses, or at least asking them everyday and ended up getting rejected again, and again, and again.

He sat in his car parked in the hospital on his free-day. As if a lightbulb turned on, he felt stupid for not visiting your workplace. They should at least know something about you, right? You were pretty well-known, and idolized in the industry. So he drove there, he may or may not have sped up a little more than he should but all in good purpose. He arrived there, and immediately knew where to park, the signature spot for everytime he comes to drive you home. Recently hearing that you bought a car when you broke up with him, made him sink a little bit. But he saw the spot was taken, eyebrows furrowing for a little before parking to the spot next to it.

When he got out, he noticed that the car that took your spot had dusting on it. As if it hadn’t been let out in a while. Or used. Quickly putting two-and-two together, maybe this was your car? The one you had bought? And if it hadn’t been used in a while… Then that supports his thoughts about you being in the hospital. His face shifted into worry. That must mean.. Whatever you had been sick of, was serious if you haven’t been using your car as often, considering your job was hectic.

He shook the thoughts off for a while, determined to find more clues about you instead. But he thinks the search suddenly became too easy when he suddenly heard a few gossiping women.

“Oh, poor Ms. L/N… She’s been hospitalized for a month now.”

“Really? Have you heard of any reason why?”

“I’m still unsure but I heard it’s chronic, and she doesn’t really have long.”

He sucks in a harsh breath. What? His ears perk up more to their conversation. He hides behind a wall, he assumes that they’re probably heading for their lunch break as a group right now.

Then a snicker, “I know this is kind of mean, but who’ll be replacing her now? Surely her position is up for debate.”

Atsumu’s face darkens at this. Stepping out of the wall as his big frame became all the more intimidating, “I mean, she’ll be biting the dust sooner or—”

“Shut your damn mouth, filthy whore.” Atsumu says with a sneer. Chin up, looking down. “Continue that sentence and I’ll see who bites the fuckin’ dust first.” A whimper, “It’s him again!” Shuffled feet, then they’re gone and out of his sights.

It takes a sigh, and a slump in his posture before everything sinks in. What does this mean? Is it.. True?

He shook his head, sure, you weren’t looking so good when he last saw you. You looked especially sick. But it was like nobody, not even the universe, had wanted him to see you. He thought back to the gossiping workers earlier. It’s him again? Atsumu hasn’t visited in a while, and he doesn’t think that he’s seen them… Oh.

Fuck, Osamu.

He could pass off as a professional racer with the speed he was driving at, only lucky enough to not have any cops tailing him. He was breathing heavily, his brother knew about you and didn’t tell him anything apart from that vague statement a few days ago? He couldn’t help the light betrayal he felt but in all honesty, he’d much rather force his brother to take him to you now. So when he arrived in Onigiri Miya, he didn’t waste a second dragging his brother out who was grumbling incessantly.

“The fuck ‘Sumu, I have a business to run!”

“No you, The fuck ‘Samu. You knew where Y/N was? Take me to her, now.” Atsumu said, foot on the ground, he won’t let anything come between his decisions now. Taking the bag of Onigiri from Osamu’s hand, “I’ll take this too. I’ll pay for it, I need to give a treat at least but we’re kind of in a hurry.” Osamu sighed, finally getting the gist of the situation. Deciding to spare his brother, he’d have to apologize to you later for spilling the beans. But he thinks he needs to let his brother let his feelings out as well.

“Okay.”

“No, you don’t have any other cho—Okay. Okay, get in the car.”

Osamu briefly yells at the part-timer he recently hired, telling them to take over for a while. To which they nodded eagerly, and so, the brothers left. Save for the quiet ride for the first few minutes. “...How—” Atsumu clears his throat, “How is she?”

A quiet beat, Osamu thinks of his answer. He settles for a passive one, “Okay.”

“Hn.” Atsumu grunts.

Osamu leans back on the passenger seat, “Just… Just make sure you don’t regret any of this.”

Atsumu raises a thick brow at this, “Why would I?”

“I think you already know why.”

He sucks in a harsh breath at this, and the silence remains. Atsumu reaches the hospital, parks the car, and Osamu leads the way to your room. Every step Atsumu took felt like the ground was shaking and trying to eat him whole. He wanted to see your pretty face again, your smile that could make his day whole and puff his chest out, or your hands that would comb through his hair and ask how it’s so soft when he bleaches it regularly.

So why was he seeing your writhing body under nurses yelling your name this time. Osamu breathes in, slowly understanding the situation as he quickly glances at his brother who was frozen. Both of them kept walking, until they were in front of what was supposed to be your room. Door open, and multiple people, trying to keep you alive. He hears that the doctor is coming, that you should wait, that you’ll get better in no time, at this point Atsumu didn’t know if the reassurances were for him instead.

When he sees your weak hand gripping the railing of your bed, he breaks. The bag of Onigiri long forgotten on the floor as he runs towards your bed.

“Darling, hey, hey, Angel, you—Yer okay, yeah? You’ll be fine, please be okay.” Atsumu says with shaky hands gripping yours, it was intensely cold, as if you weren’t even alive in the first place. He wishes so much that he was the one to give you warmth. “Look at me, you’ll be okay.”

And for the second time in a while, your eyes meet his, your weak, fragile, pretty little eyes; finally meeting him. The nurses noticed you calming down more, but your state wasn’t getting any better. They were initially going to let Atsumu out, but noticing the intimate relationship you two seemed to have displayed, they decided against it. More focused on bringing you back to life.

You had the heart surgery. You took the leap to extend your life, ever since you caught a glimpse of him a few days back; you just knew that the biggest regret you’d ever have is to never try. You told Akaashi when he visited that you were deciding on it, and he was supportive. He was really supportive. But you weren’t blind that it was a risk that may also shorten your life instead. Though wasn’t that what you were asking for, this whole time?

So maybe the time you got out of the surgery unscathed was the calm before the storm, it was the calm before this. But you were glad that even through your hazy vision, it was him that showed. It was Atsumu that kept telling you to look into his pretty eyes, and tell you that you’ll be okay.

Atsumu thinks that even in this situation, you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid his eyes on. So when the most beautiful thing slipped from his grasp, with no chance of clutching it back; his heart is torn, and burnt into crisps, non-existent flakes as his mind replays every memory he’s ever had with you, and how he was standing and watching warm, sunny spring turn into the ruthless, cold winter.

Osamu watched his brother break down in front of your bed, his own tears mixing in the lot, his cap covering most of his face. Another familiar figure that frequented visits with you, a solemn expression on his usual calm face. Heavy feeling on his chest, Akaashi approached the man who lay on his knees in front of your bed while the nurses that were scrambling to keep your life had promptly announced the date and time of your death.

Akaashi handed the box in his hand towards Atsumu who was kneeling with all his might, head on the ground, continuously asking for forgiveness from you, continuously asking for more time, just a little more. He hates this, he hates it. Because, when it sank in, you were gone.

The scene of your death. ⁆ To Visualize :) But instead of it being Kousei playing the piano, it's Atsumu when he plays volleyball, but when someone comes up to him, tapping on his back with a bright smile for an interview after the game; it's not you.

#Atsumu Miya #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu x you #atsumu x y/n #break up #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #timeskip atsumu #timeskip haikyuu #Akaashi Keiji #Atsumu angst #MSBY

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damselofblueroses · 3 years

Text

The Name of the Rose

Summary: Your study-buddy Doh Kyungsoo comes with you for a long-awaited trip to Tokyo, Japan. There is a tension between you, however both of you decided to build a friendship instead of a relationship.

Content: Unestablished relationship, AU, Hurt/Comfort, Anger, Slight Violence, Emotional Complications and Healing.

Warnings: Well, the story contains NSFW/Smut, please minors do not continue.

Note: This story was inspired by D.O.’s album, Empathy, the album of 2021 in my opinion. It is an ongoing mini project, I planned to write it as a one-shot when I started, however I realized there are a lot to say about Empathy Era and I cannot stop shut my mouth, or prevent myself from writing… So, here we go.

Second chapter, the Hunter and the Goddess is out :)

Word Count: 3.6k

Chapter 1: The Hunter and the Gazelle

Stat rosa pristina nomine, nomina nuda tenemus.

You were excited.

No, it was not the correct word to be used. You were hyperactive, more than your usual self, and God knows that everyone could testify on how hectic your personality was. According to your family and very close friends, you were a walking catastrophe, funny but a fucking tease and potentially dangerous for environment.

And now, as you had been waiting for your flight, you could not manage to even stay still. Your hands were everywhere, you proved yourself again by dismantling your tote bag as poor thing was on your lap and you were playing with it unconsciously.

“Enough.” you heard your companion’s baritone voice tone. “If you will continue like this, you have to buy your belongings again in Japan. Do you have that much money?”

He reached to you and took the bag from your lap. For a second, his fingers brushed your thighs, and you lost your concentration during that fucking second.

Focus! you told yourself.

“I can always lend some money from you.” you cocked one of your eyebrows. “What? Will you bare me from some bucks?”

“Yes.” he was always plain and simple. On the contrary of you. “Unless if it is not a necessary. I am not a guy of sharing.”

What type of guy you are, can you give me a demonstration?

Your trip to Japan made you very excited, but you had to confess at least to yourself in the depts of your mind. What made you frenzied was the presence of your companion.

Doh Kyungsoo.

Your long-term study-buddy. Actually, he was more than a study-buddy, he was a kind of your comfort zone, even though you never express your opinions about him. You have known each other for almost 7 years since the last year of bachelor. Both of you continued your ways in academic world and you were currently being Ph.D. candidates.

To be honest, he never lose his impacts on you. You had a sweet spot for him since almost the beginning of your friendship which made him more than a study-buddy. It did not mean that you were restraining yourself from having dates time to time, but all of them were ended up with the same result.

They were clever and handsome guys, but they were not Doh Kyungsoo.

Sometimes you could not help but wonder, how it would be if you did not meet him as a friend? Could you two manage having a relationship as your best friend, Baekhyun, supported like a bloody zealot? Or one of you would give up as your brother, Jongdae, always believed?

“Hey!” you heard Kyungsoo’s voice and jumped off from the bench. “Come back to your senses or we are going to miss the plane.”

“And you are going to take its money from me.” your murmured inside of your mouth but obliged to what he said by starting to walk. He was generally quiet during flights, but you knew his mouth will not be shut when you will visit the restaurants he wanted to try.

He does not come for Tokyo, he comes for fucking eels, octopuses, or crabs. Kyungsoo and his appetite.

“Naturally.” he approved your words on money, but there was a ghost of smile on his lips. “Since you are the one who became a sleeping beauty.”

Do you think I am beautiful?

This was another problem you had. With Kyungsoo, you were so relaxed, and you felt extremely safe, so you did not need to control yourself as you generally did. Of course, it was a good omen for your friendship, as much as you were sure Kyungsoo never lied to you, it was also a disadvantage on your part, because sometimes you wanted to ask some questions that should be remained in silence.

“If we would be fairy tales,” you smirked. “I would be Belle while you are the Beast.”

“Fine by me.” he shrugged his shoulder. “He is a very good guy. I am happy for Belle; she understands the assignment. You would not most probably.”

“Sweetheart, you are slow to catch the signs.” you playfully smacked his shoulder when you reached to the control point. You thought he would be annoyed, but he stopped and seriously gazed at you. You shivered and wondered why he was looking at you like he wanted to say something.

“What?” you inhaled.

“Since when I am slow to catch the signs?” he pressed on every word of his sentence, and to your dismay he used that voice tone, almost a whisper but goddamn strong. “Give me an example.”

You shuttered down, and this was the last problem you had with Kyungsoo, he was the only one who could make your brain stop working especially in times when the occasion calls for full-speed devilish progress. You just stared at him and shrugged your shoulder.

“Eh Soo,” you murmured. “You missed a lot of beautiful girls, right?”

Your response was so weak even to your ears. If Chanyeol, number two best friend of you, could hear your words, he would burst into laughs by hitting everyone beside him. You could imagine Junmyeon’s disgusted face as a plus.

“I did not miss anyone, my dear.” he chuckled. “Let me rephrase, anyone I want just one exception, but exceptions do not ruin the calculation in your famous mindset.”

When he chuckles, you can feel your blood tension rocks your body. His heart shaped lips does something to you, and you do not want to name it.

“Exceptions run the world, Doh.” you tried to push him to elaborate his words a little bit more. “Who is that lucky girl who run away from you?”

“That’s my secret.” he smirked and put his hand onto your waist in order to led you the controller lady. “Show your passport, I do not want to wait here forever.”

Who was the girl he mentioned? You could not help but started to feel anxious, how much you tried to press your instincts and feelings, whenever he mentioned a girl, there would be a dire need of crying in the pit of your stomach. You took a deep breathe and followed his instruction. While you were walking into the inside of plane, you struggled with the sudden sadness. You wanted to tear that off yourself, so you reminded yourself the splendid trip ahead you. You found your place and processed to sit down.

“May I help?” Kyungsoo asked you but he already fetched your belongings and placed them correctly. You smiled to him and sat down.

How could you meet someone like him? He was a little bit grumpy sometimes, a person who could give unexpected reactions, but he was reliable, kind, lovely and always thoughtful of his environment. You did not want to lose him. You never want to lose him, on the contrary, you want to keep him in your life until the very end. You could not think a life without Kyungsoo, you always desire him to stay your side.

You were pretty sad, you had to admit, and there was regret. You were regretful on your decision to not go further with him, you wished you could be braver and tell him about your feelings for him. How much you were confused because of him, how many days and nights you spent sleepless because of him. To make the things more complicated, you had zero idea about how he would be responded your confession if you pull yourself together and manage to do. For once, you heard his cousin Minseok talked about you by saying you were very important for Kyungsoo, however you did not know in which extent you were important for him.

You two were always closed to each other, you spent almost 3 or 4 days together, you were living in the same campus, your departments were close to each other. He was a huge part of your life, that’s one of the reasons why you were hopelessly trying to conceal your inappropriate feelings for Kyungsoo. The idea of losing his extremely valuable presence was the only scenario could make you sob.

“Am I the only one who is very uncomfortable?” he whispered to your ear and made your stomach twisted. You could kill him for this, but he was not aware of how he affected you. “You are deadly silent.”

“No, I am just thinking.” you run away from him like an Olympic athlete. “About the trip. I am very excited.”

“If you are,” he flinched your forehead. “You have to talk non-stop. You are silent when something bothers you, what are you hiding from me?”

“Nothing, Soo.” you found a smile from somewhere and presented to him. “You know I never find the chance of visiting Japan; I am really overwhelmed.”

“So, speak to me.” he grunted. “Do not act like I am not here.”

“Okey, okey.” you raised your hands to air. “Sorry for that.”

“I start to feel like I am disturbing you.” he turned his head to the Name of the Rosethat he was reading. Umberto Eco, he had a taste for everything of course. “I asked you twice if you are okey with going to Japan with me.”

You could laugh if you were not so tense since he mentioned girls.

“And I told you this is okey, Soo.” you pinched his upper arm. “You are a good companion for trips.”

“Only for trips?” he asked. What the fuck was wrong with Kyungsoo today? He was behaving weird, and his questions made you more baffled. “I thought I am good companion for everything.”

You bit your lips in order to send back the sudden answer you wanted to give. Instead of declaring your ignorance about his performance on everything, you refined your words.

“You are a good friend, Soo and sorry for making you feel unwanted. I am happy you are coming with me.”

“Hm.” he hummed but he did not look like he was satisfied with your answer. You decided to not think about what the heck he wanted to hear, you also turned to your book that you were supposed to read since the departure. At least Pavese helped you to collect your mind till the plane landed in Narita Airport. He helped you while you two took a cab for the way, he was acting like his usual self, so you accused yourself because of searching hidden messages in his questions. You were such an idiot.

“I will be seeing you at dinner.” he waved his hand when you finished the registration process of the hotel you would be staying for the week. You were in front of the elevator. Both of you already decided to take a nap before dinner when you were planning the trip, so you approved his words and took your keys.

“See you.” you smiled and walked to your room. When you opened the door, your smile widened, the room is so light and minimalistic as you really liked. There was no crowded furniture, crazy designs, or unnecessary modifications. The walls were light blue, the furniture was white, and all looked very harmonious. There were plants and flowers, you immediately run to the flowers as you loved them more than anything else. The hotel staff managed to place even Sakura blossoms into the room that made your heart flattered and smoothed your nerves.

And there was only one blue rose, which was your favourite flower in the world. Just one, between a bouquet of daisies and it looked magnificent. You leaned to smell it while smiling as a little freak. You did not have to see your face; you knew how you looked like. Chanyeol always said that when you see a blue rose, you lost your shit. Another creature made you drunk in happiness was white butterflies. You had a sweet spot for blue roses and white butterflies.

And for Kyungsoo.

You grunted to yourself in your mind, and you headed to the bathroom by tapping your feet to the ground harshly. You were done with your obsession with Kyungsoo, it became something out of control, and you were tired of yourself at this point.

You had to live your goddamn life, you had to stop fucking fantasizing about your study-buddy.

You stripped out from your clothes and jumped into the shower. Cold water helped you to take the control of yourself, both as physical and emotional. You were okey, you were in bloody Japan as you always wanted, and you were going to fucking enjoy it. After shower, you threw yourself into the bed, tucked yourself inside the blanket and set the alarm for one hour later.

After one hour, you were swearing at yourself with your very glorious vocabulary because the only thing you did was fantasizing about Doh Kyungsoo.

“Did you rest?” he asked to you while you were leaving the hotel. You held your growl inside. “Did you take a nap?”

“I did not sleep but I leaned down for a while, so it was good. You?”

“I slept like a baby. It was very interesting when you think I am more like an insomniac.”

“I guess, your insomnia is rubbing on me.” you grumbled. “Where are we going now?”

“Eh, at least something about me can rub on you.” he rolled his eyes, your chin was dropped due to his response. “There is a tiny noodle restaurant in Ebisu, but they are very famous. We are going to there.”

“Okey.” you nod and walked beside of him.

“You look very pretty.” he turned to you. “That dress looked very good on you.”

You instantly took a look on your navy, long dress. It was very comfortable, but also elegant and your fashion freak cousin persuaded you the colour and style gave you a

“Thank you.” you replied. “Sehun chose this for me, you know he is the chef kiss when it comes to fashion.”

“He did well.” he smiled. “How is Sehun by the way, I did not see him since ages. Did he come back from France?”

“No.” you pouted. You really missed your noisy cousin. “He just came to visit for a week, then came back to school. I am not sure if he will come back to be honest, he got some important invitations from European universities.”

“Very good.” Kyungsoo’s face was lit up. He was proud of Sehun. “I know you miss him, but he has a bright career ahead of him.”

“Yes, I know.” you also smiled. Thinking about your successful but extremely playful cousin made you happy. “I just worry about him.”

“Stop babying him.” Kyungsoo punched your arm as half serious half joke. “How old is he, 27?”

“Yeah.” you laughed. “I know I baby him very much, but we all do, Kyungsoo.”

“You are just one year older than Sehun.” he smirked. “Who is going to baby you?”

“Chanyeol.” you exhaled. Kyungsoo looked at you for a second, then both of you burst into laughs because it was well known that you also took care of Chanyeol and Baekhyun as well as Sehun. “Jokes aside, I am a strong and big girl, Kyungsoo, I do not need someone babying me.”

“Maybe you can start looking for a sugar daddy to baby you?” he cocked his eyebrows to you. “Before it is going to be too late?”

“Actually, I had some candidates in my pocket.” you devilishly beamed to him. “You have no idea.”

“Beg your pardon?” his face suddenly transformed from joy to deadpanned seriousness, and his smile was disappeared immediately. “I was joking.”

“I was not.” you blinked your eye. “Some people really proposed to me.”

“For being your sugar daddy?”

“I know I am very little in your eyes, Kyungsoo” you took a deep breathe before continuing. “But here the breaking news: some people could find me attractive.”

“We are not talk about usual dates or men.” he held your arm and turned you to himself. “If you receive this kind of proposes, you have to tell me.”

“Next time, I will report you so we can decide who is going to be my sugar daddy.” you poked his ribs while he burrowed his eyebrows and radiated a strong sense of discontent. “Come on Kyungsoo, I am not going to say yes to this type of proposes, what do you think about me?”

“We are always joking about this issue,” he looked like he was cursing beneath his breath. “But when it comes to you and Baekhyun, I always suspect if you are serious or not.”

“Sugar daddy is a joke.” you hissed. “Of course, it is a joke, I have no interest in having a sugar daddy.”

“What about the proposes? Are they real?”

“Well, they are.” you murmured. Suddenly, you felt like the table was turned and you just played your ace card too early. You felt like Kyungsoo’s eyes investigated your soul to the bits.

“How many?”

“Three.” you gave up. “One from faculty, two from outside.”

“Unethical son of bitches.” he lowly cursed and caught you off guard because he generally preferred to use more polite words, even if he was cursing. “Keep them away from yourself.”

“Oh really?” you teased him by hoping to break the strange tension between you and managed to put a little smile on his face.

“Stop mocking me.” he warned you but now he was smiling widely. His mouth became a heart again, this time you averted your eyes from his face.

“Who I am to dare mocking you?” you squeaked but it was fake.

“Oh, you mock me more than even that walking noisy machine Baekhyun.” he flicked his hand. “We have to stop at this station, Ebisu Garden Place is on the way.”

He put his hand onto your waist again, and you felt like electrocuted again. Every time he touched you, and unfortunately, he sporadically did, you felt like you are dying for more. More what? You were not sure what you really wanted from Kyungsoo, but you were certain on you were desperate for more of him.

More of him.

The bus was crowded, Kyungsoo led you to a little corner, and stayed in front of you. He could be a little bit protective when it came to crowded places since you were clumsy, he generally insisted to keep you close to himself in order to catch you, if you would lose your balance, so you did not surprise when he held your wrist.

What made your heart to do a perfect all kill type of somersault was his next move, his fingers did not stop on your wrist, on the contrary they moved into your palm and grasped your hand tightly. You raised your eyes to him, he never hold your hand, never ever.

“I want to be sure.” he whispered by catching your question before you ask. “Since both of us do not know the way, and the bus is full of passengers, this is more secure.”

“Ah.” This was the best of you at the moment. You quickly realized what the heck you said but Kyungsoo sometimes can be quicker than you.

“Why? Are you unsatisfied with the reason?” His dark brown eyes were shining, his perfume smelled fucking good and the proximity between your faces did not help you.

“Why should I be?” you had to be back to play as soon as possible. “I grant you the chance of holding my hand, that’s count as charity.”

He looked at your hand for a moment, and you saw a smile formed on his lips and instead of a sarcastic reply as you expected, his eyes shaped like a crescent and shined as the fucking moon itself during a cloudless, navy night.

“Thank you, your highness.” he genuinely smiled. “May I continue to hold your hand?”

“Why?” the tone of your question was full of surprise, sounded exceptionally strange.

“Because I want to feel you.” he simply answered, and he squeezed your hand a little bit more. “For once let me feel you by my side.”

You knew that your eyes blown up, your mind was playing some tricky and dangerous games with you, you lost your shit, and you were sure about you finally made yourself mad because of your platonic interest in Kyungsoo, but even if God himself would appear in the bus in order to stop you, that would be a fruitless attempt.

You held Kyungsoo’s hand.

If he wanted to feel you by his side, you could not refuse.

You never refuse Kyungsoo.

How could you?

He was the protagonist of your secret dreams, fantasies and your goddam powerful imagination.

He was your gazelle and you were chasing him since the first day you met.

#doh kyungsoo #do kyungsoo #exo #exo d.o.#d.o. solo #empathy #kyungsoo #weareoneexo #exo fanfic #exo x reader #exo fanfiction #kyungsoo fanfic #d.o.#exo smut #exo series #d.o. exo #kyungsoo x reader #d.o. empathy

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blrush · 3 years

Text

If Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding was a serious drama with hour long episodes. Part 4: Everything Is Torn Apart.

[The final part of my fic, enjoy! It gets dark but has a happy ending]

As Ki Wan looked at Ho Seon’s open and trusting face, fragments of a scene play out in his mind like a dream …

… Ki Wan is in beautiful robes, he can feel the weight of jewels in his hair, just like on his wedding day. He is in the palace grounds, splendour and opulence engulf him, women in bright gowns, stairs with gold and red carpets lead up to the king and queen who sit atop their pedestal like gods on a mountain. Hundreds of lords and ladies watch him with beady eyes. Tae Hyung is holding him, parading him in front of the king, his nails digging into Ki Wan’s forearm. Ho Seon watches on, held by palace guards. The crowd sneers and jeers, Tae Hyung’s voice echoes through across the forecourt, lecturing, accusing … then he rips at Ki Wan’s robes, jewels and silks cascade to the floor, and Ki Wan is standing naked – the crowd is gasping, Ho Seon is yelling for his wife, the guards beat him into submission …

No. That won’t happen. He won’t let that happen.

“Ho Seon, I have to tell you. I …. I’m not really your wife. What I mean is … I’m not a woman. I’m a man. And Tae Hyung knows...”

~~~

“I don’t understand.”

Hwa Jin was looking at Ho Seon with such earnestness in his face, that Ho Seon knew he must pay attention, he must take this seriously. But he couldn’t understand, he couldn’t comprehend the words forming on Hwa Jin’s lips. After everything that had happened that afternoon, he was still pre-occupied with Tae Hyung’s order that he join the palace court. Now his head was spinning!

“I don’t understand” he fumbled again. “You’re my wife. I mean, you were betrothed to me by my uncle – why would my uncle marry me to a man? …Oh. Oh I see!” his voice began to raise in anger and derision. “Is this some sort of joke?! To teach me a lesson? Who knew? Did my mother tell him? Are you all playing a trick on me!?” He withdrew his hands from where Hwa Jin was still grasping them in his lap.

He brought his hands up to face, shaking his head in dismay. This was all too much to bare. He trusted his wife implicitly, completely. Had she betrayed him? No, HE had HE betrayed him?

~  Ki Wan was taken a back, he had predicted anger, but Ho Seon’s reaction was totally unexpected, this defensiveness and barrage of self-pity. What was he talking about, and why was his anger not directed at Ki Wan? Whilst he knew, rationally, that any attempt at physical contact in such a moment was unwise, and may invite a violent reaction from Ho Seon, Ki Wan felt pity swelling in him – the man before him was hurt and confused, his friend and companion, who needed comfort. So, he reached out and gently put his hands over Ho Seons’, softly guiding them down, away from his face and back to his lap, where he held them tight once again.

“Ho Seon. Please” he begged. “Listen to me. No one knew of this. No one! I don’t know what kind of plot of ploy you think has been concocted here, but believe me it was all my doing. You were betrothed to my sister, Hwa Jin, and when she ran away, I decided that I must take her place – it was the only way to save our families name and to save my father from dept. And …” Oh no, it was all tumbling out now, everything he had bottled up so tightly all these months. “I had to leave. There was nothing for me at home, I had no one, and I thought maybe I could have a better life here … with you…And I was going to tell you and I kept waiting for the right moment but it never came, and the longer I stayed with you and the more I got to know you the more hurt I knew you would be and I couldn’t bear the thought of you hating me, and I know I was selfish and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Ki Wan was crying now, how abysmal. All these months of effort and lying and torment, for what? So that he could fall to pieces at the mercy of Ho Seon, just as he feared he would on his wedding night in the first place.

They were both sitting still, looking down at their clenched hands between them. Neither one pulling away. The only sound Ki Wan could hear was Ho Seon’s breath and his own pathetic sniffling.

“I don’t hate you.” Ho Seon broke the silence. “I hate myself.”

“Hm?” Ki Wan looked up at Ho Seon, who was still miserably staring down.

“I hate myself for being so stupid. For not knowing. For not realising what was right in front of me. I hate myself for hiding from you, for not telling you the truth. We could have been honest with each other so long ago. I’m sorry you had to go through all of this, because of me.”

“It’s not your fault!” Ki Wan was appalled, how could sweet Ho Seon be blaming himself for anything in this mess? He was completely blameless, the victim in all of this – surely?

“The only reason my mother was so desperate to marry me off, the only reason my uncle was involved – and I suspect, the reason your family was paid off – was because of me. Because I would never marry. If I had been less stubborn, or maybe if my mother was less stubborn – this could have all been avoided. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry! I’m sorry for lying to you, to your mother, to everyone. I’m sorry for taking the place of someone else – you should have married a beautiful and accomplished noble-woman like my sister. I’m sorry.”

They sat in stilted silence once again, until Ho Seon’s face began to change, and to Ki Wan’s surprise, was smiling.

“It’s ironic really.” He scoffed. Ki Wan knew Ho Seon to be good natured, but to find humour in this situation was beyond reason!

“What is?”

“That I couldn’t marry because I like men, and that – without my knowledge – I then married a man.”

“You… like…. Men?” Ki Wan was stunned. Though it made sense, given Ho Seon’s disinterest in ever consummating their marriage, he had never heard someone state such a secret in this matter of fact manner.

“Yes, well I suppose since we are sharing secrets, it shouldn’t matter if you are the first to know mine and I am the first to know yours? We’re even I guess!” He was smiling broadly.

“You’re not the first” Ki Wan remembered with a sinking heart. Just when he thought he had avoided disaster thanks to Ho Seon’s implausibly open heart, reality struck.

“Tae Hyung knows.” He continued. “That’s why I had to tell you. He caught me this afternoon, bathing – remember?”

“Oh.” Ho Seon began seriously, “I see. Well – I mean, I suppose we could speak with him? He’s and old friend. I’m sure he would understand.”

“NO!” Ki Wan startled them both in the quiet space.

“No.” He began again, whispering. “Ho Seon, this afternoon he … I don’t think he’s such a good man. I don’t think we can trust him.”

“Why not? He seemed to like you, he told me himself how jealous he was of my wife. Wait, but you said he saw you at the baths – are you sure he saw that you are a man, he seemed convinced that you were a woman when we spoke over dinner. He said how pretty you are…”

“He knows, Ho Seon, believe me – he was toying with you.”

“Don’t be paranoid! He is an important man – I doubt he has time to worry about such matters. He was here on business anyway, and why would he ask me to come to the capital as his confidant if he thought I was harbouring a secret male-bride?”

“HO SEON!” Ki Wan ripped his hands away and sat up on his haunches. “You are not listening to me! He is a cruel and power-hungry man. You may have been friends as children, but you do not know this man. He has worked his way up in the royal courts, he is ambitious and cunning. You have lived a cloistered world with your mother in the country, Ho Seon, you have no idea what kind of man you are dealing with!”

He knew he was sounding harsh. Perhaps if he were still pretending to be Hwa Jin, he would have been forced to take a softer approach to persuade Ho Seon – but now that he was speaking as Ki Wan, he felt free to speak his mind, and this onslaught of truth was more than he had spoken in months. He felt drained and his head was pounding. Sweet, sheltered Ho Seon was going to get them both in deep trouble, and Ki Wan felt like he was throwing pebbles at a stone wall. He sat back down, exhausted in a heap.

“It doesn’t matter much anyway.” Ho Seon sighed. “He is my senior, and has given me an order. So, we will move to the capital, and we will have to take each day as it comes. Together.”

“I cannot go Ho Seon. Don’t you see? There is no way I could show my face in court, it is liking walking into a bear trap. Ho Seon. We cannot leave.”

Ho Seon sat for a moment, and Ki Wan could see he was thinking deeply.

“No, I must go. It is my duty, and if I don’t – he will pester us. Perhaps if I leave, it will be enough to keep good standing, and no one will question you remaining here with my mother.”

He spoke in such a finite manner, Ki Wan knew there was no more discussion to be had. They had reached an impasse and they both knew there was no other choice. Ki Wan, suspected that Tae Hyung was playing some larger game they could not see, and who was using his old friend Ho Seon as a pawn. But he knew this was the only compromise that might save them from Tae Hyung’s curiosity or meddling. Whilst Ho Seon, believed with his naïve noble spirit, that following his superior’s orders and abandoning his family was the right thing for a gentleman to do.

It was late into the night by the time they went to bed. Ki Wan had begrudgingly helped Ho Seon pack a trunk of clothes and necessities. They spoke very little, as Ki Wan folded Ho Seon’s robes into neat little bundles and Ho Seon pored over his books, deciding which he might need to take with him to the city.

“I am leaving all these behind” he motioned to his shelves of books, “you can read as many as much as you like whilst I’m away.” He smiled warmly. He radiated his usual positive outlook, as if he was simply going on a short holiday. Whilst Ki Wan could not shake the sickening feeling of dread and fear that Ho Seon would never return.

They silently fell back into their nightly routine, almost as if the revelations of the evening had not occurred, and that they were once again just ‘husband and wife’. They changed their robes, doused the candles and tucked themselves under the covers.

Lying on their backs, staring at the ceiling, neither of them fell asleep. Ki Wan was too exhausted to speak or move, and he could feel Ho Seon lying tense beside him. He moved his hand under the blanket slightly, and felt Ho Seon shift too. Soon, the back of their hands were touching under the blankets. Ki Wan closed his eyes, and focused on the single point of connection between his skin and Ho Seon’s. Ho Seon’s skin was warm and smooth, and if he focused harder he could imagine warmth radiating from that single point outwards throughout his own body. Ho Seon’s hand moved slightly, and he carefully laced his fingers with Ki Wan’s. Ki Wan wondered, if he turned his head slightly, would Ho Seon be looking at him too? Would their eyes meet? What would happen if he leaned closer…? But they remained still and silent, holding hands under the covers, and Ki Wan felt his own breathing begin to match Ho Seon’s until he slowly drifted off to sleep.

~ ~ ~

Early in the morning, at the news of Ho Seon’s imminent departure, his mother kicked up a fuss over breakfast. Demanding to know when this decision had been made, and by whom – she was quickly silenced by the notion of a “royal decree” and Tae Hyung’s position as Defence Minister.

“I’m sorry Eomma,” Ho Seon pleaded, “I didn’t want to leave but I must, it’s my duty. I will come home soon I promise!”

“And what of your wife?!” She interrupted. “You’re going to leave your wife here all alone! How are you going to have children if you don’t even live with your wife Ho Seon! You fool!”

“Eomeoni,” Ki Wan placated, “It’s okay, I want to stay here and look after you. I don’t want to move to court, it sounds scary and besides, I like it here with you. Please.”

Unsatisfied but suitably calmed, Ho Seon’s mother agreed to stay home with Hwa Jin. The servants took away the breakfast that had barely been touched, and all that was left was for them to see Ho Seon off at the gates.

Tae Hyung was waiting with the horses saddled up, a cart with Ho Seon’s luggage affixed behind one of them. Ho Seon went ahead to check on his horse, and Ki Wan stood in the courtyard, supporting Ho Seon’s mother on his arm. The picture of a perfect filial daughter in law. It was all too surreal, like a scene from a play that Ki Wan was watching from the crowd, rather than partaking in.

Tae Hyung came over and gave Ho Seon’s mother a formal greeting, followed by a swift farewell and a joking apology about stealing away her son. He charmed her over easily, before addressing Ki Wan beside her.

“Lady Hwa Jin. It is such a shame you couldn’t be persuaded to join your husband at court. I was so hoping to get to know you better.” Again, his charming voice was undercut with a threatening gaze in his eyes. Ki Wan did not curtsey or offer his hand, but clung to his mother-in-law stubbornly, as if completely subject to the weight of holding her up, and Tae Hyung walked away – seemingly unbothered and above it all, to mount his horse.

Ho Seon approached them, head hung low, holding his hat in his hands – as if putting it on would be too final.

“Eomma,” he pulled his mother in for a hug, her shrinking stature swallowed up in his mammoth embrace. “I’ll see you soon.”

His mother, for once, was quiet. Her pride overpowering her emotion, she pushed him away toward Ki Wan, though still clutching the robes at his waist with one hand – whether to steady herself from falling, or to stop him from leaving.

Ho Seon turned to Ki Wan, looked briefly into his face, and though it seemed at first like he was hesitating – Ho Seon suddenly dropped his hat to the ground and Ki Wan was hauled into his arms.

Ho Seon clung to him, his hands on Ki Wan’s back were grasping at the material of his dress, and he buried his face into the crook of Ki Wan’s neck. Ki Wan barely had time to respond, he reached his arms up - hooked them over the top of Ho Seon’s shoulders, let his fingers slide into Ho Seon’s hair, messing up his tight top not, and held his face against Ho Seon’s.

In that moment, he saw an alternate life before him; Their life if Tae Hyung had never arrived, if he had told Ho Seon the truth earlier, they were happy and laughing in this alternate life - two men holding each other, reading together, swimming, sleeping…

“Please.” He whispered desperately into Ho Seon’s ear. “Please come home.”

With that, Ho Seon peeled himself away, clenching his jaw and looking more serious than Ki Wan had ever seen him.

Ki Wan bent down to pick up Ho Seon’s hat. He dusted it off, and placed it carefully on Ho Seon’s head. He neatly tucked away some stray hairs, and tied the ribbons under Ho Seon’s chin – allowing his hands to linger a moment longer than necessary on Ho Seon’s chin. Ho Seon was watching him steadily, and he looked - for the first time since Ki Wan had married him – not like a boy, but like a grown man, a serious man with burdens and pain and a sense of honour – like a fire was burning behind his eyes. He leaned closer, and softly touched his lips to Ki Wan’s forehead.

Then he was gone. The horses disappeared out of the gates in a plume of dust and dirt. And Ki Wan was left standing with his mother-in-law in the empty courtyard.

~ ~ ~

At first, life in the home remained steady – Ki Wan cared for his mother-in-law and they kept each other company. He kept himself busy reading, or helping the maids with the chores. Though Ki Wan was free of his lie, and the fear of Ho Seon finding out his gender – he was filled with a new fear, that Ho Seon was lost to them forever. He could never shake the feeling of unease in his stomach, and at night, he tossed and turned, without the warmth of Ho Seon’s body beside him, or the sound of his low snoring. He lay awake imaging all sort of ill fates that could befall Ho Seon in the city. He imagined the plots of every play and story he had read, of bandits, and court intrigue, of war, poison, treason, fire.

But every fortnight a messenger arrived with a letter and a large sum of money.

“To my dear mother and my darling wife, all is well.”

It always began with this same refrain.

He would then go on to briefly update them on his work and something novel to tell them about the city, such as;

“I continue with my work with Tae Hyung on the defence of the northern border, and today I saw acrobats performing in the streets of the city! I wish you had seen them!” or “I have been tasked with a new administrative job in council, to do with military funding, it’s very dull, but last week I tried crab meat for the first time – very stringy, I would not recommend.”

It would always end the same way.

“I hope to return home soon. Your adoring son and doting husband, Ho Seon.”

And so, Ki Wan would sleep more soundly for a night, until the anxieties returned.

Seasons came and went, and the garden looked more splendid than ever as Ki Wan threw himself into its care, as his mother-in-law shouted instructions from the balcony, as she could no longer manage the physical labour herself.

The funds from Ho Seon’s new position were enough to keep the family in good food and other than Ho Seon’s sorely felt absence, life at Ryu manor was tranquil.

Then one day, the messenger stopped arriving. Perhaps there had been bad weather, his mother-in-law suggested - a landslide acorss the road perhaps?

Another fortnight passed and still no messenger. Perhaps Ho Seon had been held up at work, overrun with important court business and didn’t have a chance to write? Impossible.

Ho Seon tried to be patient, and on one evening, he half convinced himself this was some sort of cosmic sign – perhaps this was his way out? Perhaps his life as Hwa Jin was over, and he should move on? Finally, he could be free of this mundane country life, and he himself could move to the city as a nobleman – why should he wait around moping like some forlorn housewife?

But he knew he was only trying to trick himself into feeling less afraid. Somehow, without intending to – he had bound himself to this place and to Ho Seon. There was no turning back, and for all the pain he had suffered working so hard, pretending to be Ho Seon’s wife there was no way he going to let anyone else to take Ho Seon from him.

One morning, he announced to his mother-in-law that he was going to the imperial city to find Ho Seon. Though she did not seem against the idea, she was fearful for Hwa Jin’s safety.

“It’s alright Eomeoni” Ki Wan said. “I will not go as a noble-woman, but as a man. I will disguise myself as a man and no one will pay me any attention. Don’t worry, I can take care of myself.” His mother-in-law demanded that the maids pack him some food, and that he be gone for no more than a week – otherwise she herself would send out a search party.

A week gave Ki Wan very little time to find Ho Seon, as the journey itself took 2 days. But, as his mother-in-law had said, if Hwa Jin arrived to find Ho Seon in fine health, there was no reason to linger – and, alternatively, if there was a problem, and Ho Seon could not be found, or the city proved dangerous, Hwa Jin was to return immediately and they would send word to Ho Seon’s great-uncle instead.

Ki Wan wore the plainest clothes of Ho Seon’s he could find, so as not to draw attention to himself and the ride to the city was uneventful. No bandits or landslides, just other travellers and tradesmen selling their wears along the imperial road.

The city was as Ki Wan had remembered it from his childhood, busy, messy, loud, confusing and full of a horrible odour. He wasted no time, a headed directly for the palace.

On the road leading toward the imposing palace gates, beggars and dogs lined the street, stopping wealthy gentry on their way past, begging for food or money, and usually getting a slap for their efforts, or an occasional coin tossed at their feet.

Ki Wan felt sorry for them, and felt the weight of his money purse at his hip. A boisterous man with very few teeth bounded up to Ki Wan’s horse.

“Good sir! Are you feeling generous today? My friends and I are starving, a warm cup of tea would do us good – it’s cold out here at night you know Sir!?”

“Here,” Ki Wan, reached into his purse and pulled out several copper coins. “I don’t have time to treat you to a meal or tea, but I hope this will help. Please share it among your companions.”

“Oh Sir! How generous! How wonderful! What a kind fellow!” He exclaimed, and bounded back to his friends sitting by the side of the road. For beggars, Ki Wan thought, some of them looked rather well dressed – perhaps they were con artists – he thought. Though, even if they were, Ki Wan could spare the coins, and who was he to judge them – he himself was a con after-all.

He made his way up to the guards at the gates and introduced himself as a “Nobleman Ryu” who was looking for his cousin, Ryu Ho Seon who worked under the Minister of Defence, Kim Tae Hyung.” He tried to sound relaxed, yet formal and assertive, but he suspected it came across as arrogant.

The guards sent off a messenger, and Ki Wan waited patiently. Soon, the messenger returned followed by a court official – a young man in fine robes and military hat.

“Lord Ryu,” he bowed, “I’m afraid no one of your family name works or lives in the palace at this time, you must be confused.”

“And what of Lord Kim Tae Hyung, is he here?”

“I’m afraid I am not at liberty to give out such sensitive information.”

He was getting the brush off and he knew it. This was bad. Something was definitely going on. He knew he would get nowhere with these men, so headed back into the town centre.

He checked himself in to an inn, and put his horse to water before heading inside.

Sitting downstairs to eat, he tried to concoct a plan. But he knew too little. Had there been some sort of political strife, was Ho Seon caught up in some imperial controversy? Or had Tae Hyung simply done away with him? Had he ever made it to the city in the first place? Had the letters been real? His mind was racing and he began panic. He couldn’t return home like this without answers!

At the table beside him, a group of men were drinking and huddled around, talking in low tones about “royal” this and “imperial” that. Ki Wan began to listen closely.

“I heard he’s in the King’s favour. That’s why he has been promoted so many times.”

“I heard he’s sleeping with the queen, THAT’s why he’s so favoured!”

“Well that’s one way to get into the good royal graces, by getting INTO her royal graces!” They chortled together.

“My cousin said the king was so furious he demanded a purge of the imperial staff. That’s why my cousin got dismissed.”

“But wasn’t your cousin just a cook?”

“Well exactly! They just decided who was in and who was out, no trial, no reasons. At least he got out with his life! Others weren’t so lucky, I heard he beheaded half a dozen eunuchs!”

Ki Wan was trying his best to keep up with the conversation, but it was hard to hear, and he had no context for the topic of their discussion.

“But if it was Lord Kim that was in charge, how did he end up with a promotion and not punished?”

KIM TAE HYUNG?! Ki Wan tried to remain calm and listen.

“Like I said, it seems he can do no wrong by the king and queen, so he just picked some scape goats to take the fall, and the king turned a blind eye as he always does.”

This was it! Ki Wan knew there had to be a reason Tae Hyung had gone to all the trouble of riding into the country to recruit an old friend into a government position. He needed pawns he could play with and toss around. Ho Seon could be rotting away in some dungeon!

“You know what the mad king’s like, he has favourites who he treats like princesses, and everybody else is just cannon fodder.”

“What, so Lord Kim just names names and the king has them executed?”

“Not all of them, just some eunuchs. I guess the higher up people were in the court, the worse their punishment was. The lower staff like my cousin were dismissed, and some ministers and lords were tortured. Whipped, burnt, blinded, or drawn in front of the king and queen - then turned out of the palace, like old scraps.”

“All I can say is, I’ve never been so glad to be a carpenter!” They laughed nervously, and downed their drinks, before an old man a table over told them to mind their tongues unless they themselves wanted a lashing.

Ki Wan felt sick, like the world was spinning around him. Ho Seon could be anywhere! With lashings on his back! or dying of a fever, left in the gutter on the street…. Oh! OH!

He was up with a jolt, sending the contents of his table flying, the innkeeper yelling at him as he raced out the door. He ran through the city, retracing his path back to the palace. It was dusk now, and there were less carriages and horses, though he nearly got run over twice in his haste through the streets. The beggars were still there, huddled by the sides of the road like stone plinths marking the path the palace.

Ki Wan was floundering, but he stopped running, slowed to a walk, and tried to catch his breath. The man who he had given copper coins to earlier approached him excitedly.

“My friend! How nice of you to visit again! Have you come to drink with us!”

“Please” Ki Wan choked out, “I’m looking for someone.”

“Well you’re in luck my good sir, as I know everyone!”

“His name is Ryu, Ryu Ho Seon ... he’s young – my age, and tall. He used to work in the palace. Please, do you know him.”

“I don’t know any Ryu” The man scratched at his stubble, and Ki Wan’s heart sank. “But I know a Ho Seon! Maybe that’s him?!”

“Oh please! Yes, please take me to him.”

The man lead Ki Wan further down the road, chatting away merrily, whilst Ki Wan felt like he might be sick from fear and nerves. What if it wasn’t his Ho Seon? What if his Ho Seon was dead? What if it was him but he wasn’t himself, how badly injured might he be?

Down the road a way, a man was seated alone, his back against a wall, his face turned up into the setting sunlight. His eyes were covered in bandages, yellowed with dirt and brown with dried blood. The man called out to him “Hey Ho Seon!” and he turned his head toward them. It was him!

“There’s someone looking for you.”

Ki Wan could barely move. He had stopped in his tracks at the sight of Ho Seon and couldn’t make his feet move any further. The man motioned Ki Wan to go ahead, and he left them.

Ki Wan forced himself forward, shuffling slowly and Ho Seon turned his head slightly to hear better.

Ki Wan crouched down in front of Ho Seon.

“Hello.” Was all he could say.

“Hello.” Ho Seon replied, his ever-present dimples still there, playing at the corners of his lips. Even in this state, he was able to smile a little.

Ki Wan’s voice was trapped in this throat.

“My friend says you know me, Sir?” Ho Seon asked.

“Yes.” Ki Wan wanted to speak, but could barely form words around the lump in his throat.

“And how do you know me?” Ho Seon was leaning forward, reaching out his hands to find the figure in front of him.

“It’s me.” Ki Wan barely whispered, trying to hold back tears.

Ho Seon’s hands found Ki Wan’s face and he began to feel his features, delicately tracing the shape of his nose, his cheeks, his lips…

“I’m your wife.” He finally managed to choke out.

“HWA JIN!” Ho Seon hauled him in violently, Ki Wan almost fell onto Ho Seon. Ho Seon pulled Ki Wan’s face toward his, so that their foreheads were touching. All the while he moved his hands over Ki Wan, tracing his face, hugging at his shoulders.

Ki Wan was crying, and was aware of all the people watching them. But he didn’t care. He held Ho Seon tightly until the sun had set. Then he began to pull him to his feet, careful to steady him, and checking that he wasn’t injured anywhere else.

“Can you walk?”

“Of course I can walk! I have legs don’t I!?” Ho Seon laughed.

“Well sorry for asking!” Ki Wan berated, sarcastically.

“Although… I can’t read now. So, I’ll be needing those bed-time stories from now on.” He grinned, boyishly, and held onto Ki Wan’s arm for guidance.

“Come on.” Ki Wan rolled his eyes, “Let’s go home.”

...

The End

Or maybe not... if I have time to come back to it maybe I’ll write some more or fill in some blanks, because this was very rushed, today was my only day off and I was waiting for the finale to air before I wrote it haha Hope you guys enjoyed it! as you can tell The King and the Clown is my favourite movie of all time and no I will not be taking criticism for using blindness as a plot device, because this is a melodramatic historical fanfic, thank you. Hope you enjoyed the angst, sorry I couldn’t make it longer!

#nobleman ryu's wedding #nobleman ryus wedding #korean bl #bl series #bl fanfic #fanfic #kang in soo #lee sejin #choi ki wan #ryu ho seon #wetv

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marjansmarwani · 3 years

Text

sleep is never coming

2.8k || ao3

Owen has been having the same dream for months now. Every few nights he falls asleep and is returned to one of the worst moments of his life in vivid technicolor. After one of these nights, he finds himself in the kitchen: seeking some tea in pursuit of sleep when he is suddenly not alone. But maybe the young officer who just stumbled into his kitchen from his son's bedroom is the best person he could talk to about this. Maybe it takes someone who loves his son as much as he does to truly understand the fear that is keeping him up at night. ----- Angst Week Day 1: "How do we fix this?" + Anon request: "It's just a nightmare."

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The bang is sudden, unexpected, and earth-shattering. Owen whips around, searching for the source of the sound but stops mid-turn, frozen in horror at the sight before him. His son slumping over; clutching his collarbone, gasping in pain, and slowly falling to the ground. He tries to move towards him but he feels as if he is trying to move through molasses, too slow to reach him in time. Too slow to help him; just like he was too slow to prevent it.

It’s the same, every time. He can trace the movements, he knows the script by heart. First, TK falls; then comes the blood. Far, far too much of it oozing from the entry wound, spreading across the ground beneath him and sliding down the wall behind them. There’s more blood too, in a place it should never be: coming out of TK’s mouth as he struggles to breathe, as his wide and terrified eyes seek Owen’s.

He wants to reassure him, he wants to tell him it’ll be okay, but he doesn’t want to lie. He made a promise many years ago to never lie to his child, no matter what. And as much as he wants it to be a truth, it may not be. He doesn’t know that everything will be okay and that terrifies him.

There is movement and commotion and voices shouting instructions and updates but all Owen knows for sure is the sensation of watching TK’s eyes close, or seeing the moment he stops breathing. He knows for certain the exact moment he watches his son die because it is the moment his heart shatters.

There is deadly silence then, for a beat. And in the breath after, he wakes up.

He shots upright in bed, sucking in a harsh breath before running a weary and shaking hand across his face. “It’s just a nightmare,” he reminded himself, “it’s not real.” He knew this: he’d been having that dream for months now.

While true, the reminder did nothing to quell the racing of his heart. He sighed and threw the blankets back, climbing out of bed and heading towards the bedroom door. There was no use trying to go back to sleep; past experience had shown him that much. His only hope was to head to the kitchen, make some tea, and hope for the best. Just like he had every few nights in the month since the accident.

He suppressed a yawn as he walked into the kitchen before checking that the kettle still had water in it and turning on the burner. He leaned against the counter as it heated, rubbing at his tired eyes. He couldn’t keep going on like this. He needed to sleep through the night, he needed to make sure he was on the top of his game. He owed it to his team.

But every time he tried, he got a front-row seat to one of the worst moments of his life. Nothing — no fire, no accident, not even 9/11 — would compare to the fear he had felt watching his son collapse after being shot. He knew worrying about him was normal, he knew dwelling on it was to be expected. He just hadn’t banked on reliving it every other night.

He was so distracted by his thoughts that he didn’t notice the sound of footsteps coming down the hall until a sound of surprise had him looking up to see a tousled, shirtless, and embarrassed Officer Reyes standing at the threshold of his kitchen.

“I’m sorry Sir, I didn’t know…”

Owen waved off his stammered apology, “You didn’t do anything wrong, Carlos. And please, it’s 3 am and you’re in my kitchen—I think you can call me Owen.”

Carlos gave a nervous laugh but walked further into the kitchen. He raised an eyebrow as he looked at Owen, “It is 3 am so if you don’t mind me asking Sir...Owen, what are you doing?”

Owen gestured at the kettle that was just starting to steam, “Couldn’t sleep, so I decided to see if some tea would help. Would you like some? I could use the company.”

“Oh,” Carlos looked taken aback, “um, sure. Thank you.”

Owen turned to the cupboard to pull out two mugs and the box of chamomile tea. He held it up to Carlos, who nodded. “So,” he began, setting everything down on the counter next to the stove, “any particular reason you are in my kitchen at 3 am?”

Carlos chuckled and stepped closer, settling onto one of the stools on the other side of the counter, “I just woke up and wanted a glass of water. I figured you wouldn’t mind and I had no idea I’d run into anyone.”

“Normally you’d be right, but I’ve been having some trouble sleeping lately.”

Carlos was quiet then and Owen could see the dilemma playing out in his head through his expression. It was in Carlos Reyes’s nature to fix things, and he was trying to decide whether or not prying into his boyfriend’s father’s insomnia over 3 am tea was crossing a line. Owen decided to make the decision for him.

“I’ve been having some dreams that are keeping me up. Well, a dream I guess. The same one, every time.”

Carlos studied him as Owen paused to pull the whistling kettle off the burner, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Owen shook his head, “Thanks, but one of us losing sleep over it is enough. No reason to keep you up too.”

“I’m already up and after the shock of finding you in the kitchen I am wide awake,” Carlos pointed out dryly. “We’re both here so you may as well talk about it, if you want to.”

Owen considered as he poured the water over the teabags in the mugs. Did he want to? Keeping it to himself clearly wasn’t working. He didn’t want to burden anyone else with this; a part of him wondered how anyone else could possibly understand. The fear and pain of watching your child almost die was unlike anything else. Still, he conceded, in this particular situation, who was better suited to understand this fear than Carlos? He knew how hard the accident had been hard on him too, despite trying as hard as he had to keep up a brave front. If anyone could understand where he was coming from, it would be the young man sitting at the counter with him.

“I keep reliving that night.”

He stole a glance at Carlos to see if he needed to be more specific but the newly clenched jaw told Owen that he knew exactly what night he was talking about. He slid the other mug across the counter before wrapping his hands around his own, “sometimes it feels like it’s every time I try to sleep. I close my eyes and I’m just there again.”

Carlos let out a shuddering breath and tightened his grip on his mug, “I know what you mean. I...had a similar problem, right after it happened. I don’t think I got much sleep at all while he was in the hospital. I would wake up afraid, not remembering that he was okay, that it had all turned out fine. I just had this fear that I couldn’t shake. Sometimes I don’t think I ever will, not completely. The only thing that helped with the dreams, at least, was the fact that TK was lying next to me, alive and okay, eventually.”

“Well I’m sure neither of you would appreciate me coming to check on him every time I have that dream, would make for some awkward encounters,” Owen retorted, trying for a joke that fell flat, judging by Carlos’s forced smile. He sighed and ran a weary hand over his face, “How do we fix this?”

“Time, I guess,” Carlos responded with a shrug. “I wish I had a better answer, but I think that’s the only one there is.”

Owen took a sip of his tea, rolling the idea around in his mind before he shook his head, “I don’t know if time is going to be enough. I don’t think time will ever completely erase the guilt.”

“The guilt?” There was genuine surprise in the young officer’s voice and Owen snorted.

“I’m not only his father, but his captain. I told him to breach the door. I gave the order, and I was standing right there. I had all the information but I didn’t put it together fast enough to stop it, to save him. There is not a single way of looking at this that doesn’t make me responsible.”

Owen isn’t sure what reaction he expected out of his son’s boyfriend, but it certainly wasn’t what he got. He didn’t expect him to scoff and counter his claim with one of his own: “How do you think I feel? I’m a cop and I was on the scene. We knew there was a gun and yet it slipped through the cracks. It’s more my fault than anyone’s if anything.”

Owen blinked for a second, processing everything that Carlos had just said. “That’s insane,” he retorted incredulously, “you had two civilians in your care and the logical assumption to make was that once the grandfather collapsed the gun was no longer an issue. “Besides,” he added wryly, “whoever heard of anyone shooting at the fire dept? Everyone loves us.”

Carlos snorted at that before his expression turned serious again, “The same goes for you: how did you have any way of knowing that things were any different than any other time? You followed protocol, you did everything you should have. TK did everything he should have; he did the job he was trained to do. Chances are, nothing could have prevented what happened.”

Owen considered his words as he swished the tea in his cup, watching as the leaves that had settled at the bottom rose upwards into the warm liquid again. “You might be right,” he allowed, “but I don’t like it.”

“No one likes feeling helpless, Owen,” Carlos pointed out wryly. “But sometimes that’s all we can be.”

Owen looked up from his tea to study the younger man, who met his gaze and held it. “You’re pretty wise for someone so young, you know that?” he said after a few moments.

“That’s just your sleep-deprived brain talking.”

Owen chuckled at that and Carlos grinned in response. “What do you think TK would say if he knew we were both up at an ungodly hour worrying about him?”

“He would be very against it,” Owen said with certainty, and Carlos hummed in agreement.

“Unfortunately for him, I don’t think either of us is going to stop anytime soon.”

“No,” Owen agreed, “but that’s what happens when you love someone.”

Carlos froze, choking on his tea mid-sip before setting the cup down as he coughed and stared at Owen, who chuckled.

“It’s okay Carlos, I don’t know if you’ve said it yet, but it doesn’t matter. I know you love him and if I know my son, he feels the same way. I’m just happy you two found each other. It makes me feel a lot better knowing that he has someone else who cares about him as much as I do looking out for him.”

“But not enough to help you sleep at night, huh?”

“Apparently not,” Owen agreed wearily.

Carlos gave him a smile, “What about the fact that he has both of us looking after him now? Does that make you feel any better?” Carlos paused a moment and met Owen’s eyes before continuing, “Because you’re not alone in this Owen, and neither is he. You have a family here in Austin. I may have only been around for a few months but it doesn’t take long to see. You, TK, the rest of the crew: you all look out for each other. Does that help at all?”

Owen looked down at the counter, overwhelmed by the truth of the statement. It wasn’t that he didn’t know that, it was more that sometimes it was hard to remember. It didn’t seem like so long ago that he had arrived in Austin, that they had all met. Yet he knew what Carlos said was true. He did have a family here in Austin now, and it was growing to include a certain officer more and more each day.

“As long as we’re clear that you’re included in that too, Carlos,” he said, after a beat.

The younger man opened his mouth but Owen held up a hand, “Nope, no arguments. You’re just as much a part of this as anyone else. It was already true, but this whole tea thing has really sealed the deal, no backing out now.”

There was another beat of silence, and then Carlos smiled. “Thank you, Owen,” he said softly.

They trailed off into comfortable silence after that, each lost in their own thoughts and sipping their tea. It was some time before Owen happened to catch a glimpse of the clock over the stove. He swore, breaking the reverie they had been in and causing Carlos to startle ever so slightly.

“Sorry,” he apologized, “I just hadn’t realized how late it had gotten. Or early, maybe?” He trailed off and ran a hand through his hair before turning and looking at Carlos whose eyebrows rose when he saw the time.

“Do we even bother trying to go back to bed at this point?” he asked, and Owen chuckled.

“How do you feel about breakfast?” he asked instead.

“I think that sounds like an excellent plan,” Carlos agreed, pulling himself off of his stool and crossing into the kitchen, “anything particular you had in mind?”

It was shortly after that that a groggy TK stumbled into the kitchen, taking in the scene before him between blinks as he fought to clear the last remnants of sleep from his eyes. “What are you two doing?” he asked, voice still slightly raspy with sleep but filled with confusion. “Am I dreaming?”

Carlos grinned and stepped around the counter, pressing a light kiss on TK’s cheek as Owen spoke, “Can’t say that you are, no. I can say though that I am surprised to see you up — it’s pretty early.”

“Which is why I was confused when I woke up to an empty bed,” he retorted pointedly, glancing at Carlos. “So I figured I should see where you’d gotten to.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you,” Carlos told him sincerely, “I just woke up and came out for a drink and ran into your dad in the kitchen. We got to talking and realized neither of us could go back to sleep, so we made breakfast.”

He turned as he spoke, gesturing to the counter which held a platter of eggs and pancakes. “I was just going to come and wake you up in a bit, to see if you wanted any.”

TK glanced from the counter to Owen and back to Carlos, eyebrows raised, “Are you sure I’m not dreaming?” he asked eventually.

“Pretty sure,” Owen said with a shrug, and TK nodded.

“That makes sense,” he agreed, “I don’t think I could even dream up something this strange.”

“I don’t know son,” Owen said lightly as he poured himself a cup of coffee from the freshly brewed pot, “the mind can be a pretty interesting place. But the food is getting cold, come on.”

TK glanced at Carlos again who smiled at him and pulled him forward to one of the stools. He slid onto it and accepted the plate passed to him by his father with his baffled expression still in place, though it seemed to be morphing to something closer to fondness with each passing second.

“So,” he said softly, leaning closer to Carlos as Owen busied himself at the stove, flipping the last batch of pancakes, “you and my dad get along now, do you?”

“We do,” Carlos confirmed confidently, shooting Owen a grin.

TK looked between them, “I don’t know if I should be happy or worried about this.”

“Probably a bit of both,” Owen told him lightly as he slid the last pancakes onto the tray and set it down before them.”

“That sounds right,” TK agreed. “What did you guys talk about?”

There was quiet for a second as Carlos and Owen glanced at each other. “Just stuff,” Owen said lightly, “general things, everyday stuff; you know.”

TK didn’t look convinced but he didn’t press, reaching instead for the plate of pancakes and serving them onto the plates before them. “That’s fine,” he said lightly, “keep your secrets. Since you’re friends now, I guess.”

Carlo shook his head fondly as he accepted the pancakes placed on his plate and Owen smiled. Maybe it was just morning optimism, but things looked better in the dim dawn light leaking through the kitchen windows. Maybe this talk, this reminder that his family was so much more than just him and TK now, would be the thing that would help him to put this behind him.

Maybe tonight he would have a dreamless sleep — maybe this had been just what he needed.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #911lsangstweek #my writing #userkimmy #userjilly #userac #usermaximus #userbones #tuserpaige #tuserjamie #immortalstrand #maizsnex #hierophvnts #buckybarnesalways

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