#someone who tries to be gentle and sees the worth in all nature

[eye-may]

Do you have any Munkustrap headcanons mayhaps? The people would love to hear it if you do <3

I was waiting for someone to ask about Munkustrap!!! granted I would have yammered about him unprompted eventually anyway but YAY!

pls accept this speedy doodle of Munk having, what I imagine is one of very many, serious conversations (tm) with with his protegee Alonzo <3

"alonzo I told you the kittens could not watch terrifier 3. I say the things I say for a reason. now neither of us will be able to sleep for a week."

all kidding aside, yesss I have a LOT of thoughts about Munkustrap and how he and his story drive a lot of things that happen in my fanverse lol. I'll keep it relatively brief for now because if I don't moderate myself I'll end up writing 100k words worth of incomprehensible diatribe. somewhat abridged yammering beneath the cut!

edit: this mostly ended up being formatted in extensive elucidations on his relationships with other cats, with references to his backstory through that...which I hope isn't baffling lmao hopefully yall can make sense of it

✨Personality

My Munkustrap is pretty heavily based off of 98's Gruberstrap. That is to say, he's a very "warm" version of the character, a softer and more patient leader compared to some other interpretations where he errs on the side of strict and stringent.

Munk has a pretty troubled background (not unlike Tugger and Alonzo), but I place his symbolic age at around 30-35 so that he's still young and has things to learn and growing to do, but still old enough to have already matured and wizened up past a matrix of self-destructive idiosyncrasies he has dealt with in the past. He may not fully realize it, but he wasn't entirely dissimilar to Tugger in his adolescent days (at least, insofar as feeling governed by his emotions). The temporal distance from his early youth has enabled him to mellow out, think more clearly, and capitalize on his better attributes such as decisiveness, a good grasp on strategizing, and being empathetic and caring.

He is, of course, known to be a straight arrow...that is to say, very about rules and order, following traditions, establishing a hierarchy, having respect for authority and elders, etc. However, he is not immune to lightheartedness and joking around. He's a good, gentle playmate with the kittens on occasion. He lives for directing plays (although subversively he might take them a little too seriously sometimes lmao). He definitely lets a Dad Joke slip out every once in a while. He can read and write, and is pretty erudite about a handful of subjects that extend beyond life in the Junkyard. He's a pretty well-rounded chap!

He's not particularly spiritual or mystical, but has always been fascinated by the mysticism inherent in felinity, and has a unique connection to the concept of magic due to his connection with Old Deuteronomy. He's more naturally attuned to felinity in every corporeal sense, and has strong and thoroughly-developed opinions about the meaningfulness of Jelliclehood along with its history and customs.

He's gentlemanly and intelligent, courageous and dignified, so a pretty archetypal 'leader/hero' character. his faults are brought out by adversity with which he is not familiar...as someone who prefers adhering to precedent and keeping everything in order, he feels very challenged by untrodden territory. While he's good at thinking on his feet, he's also prone to overthinking after the action, and letting that repressed sentimental side from yesteryears cloud his approach. When he's feeling menaced by uncertainty, you'll see those cognitions buoy to the surface...overprotectiveness, stubbornness (sometimes he's bad at listening to suggestions!), over-intensity, and over-worry that he tries his darndest to conceal. He may periodically fall into lapses of "work-life imbalance," for turn of phrase (feels weird because we're talking about mystical dancing singing cats but you get it).

Perhaps his biggest fault is difficulty ceding control. There is no bigger control freak in the Junkyard, even though many would probably assume that the title goes to Jenny. Jenny is more ostentatious in her form of leadership, yes, but Munkustrap is far more immoderate when it comes to judging what he can feasibly handle. Bearing the weight of the world on your shoulders, after all, does not a healthy habitude make. Munkustrap's elders...namely Jennanydots and Old Deutoronomy...occasionally remind him of that.

He also perpetually Tired (but doesn't show it!) and, despite maintaining his veneer of cool-headedness, does in fact Have Anxiety lol.

🫂 Notes on Relationships

Tugger - They are half-brothers, and symbolically, there's about 10-15 years between them. So the age gap is significant, but Munkustrap isn't exactly old enough to be his father (try as he might to parent him in the frequent absence of Old Deutoronomy). Truly the Annoying Younger Brother Ever, Tugger gets on his nerves faster and more effectively than just about anybody in his life. Granted, their pasts respective of each other aren't the most conducive towards a harmonious, peaceful relationship, but the same circumstances are what make their bond so close and significant. If it weren't for Munkustrap extending the olive branch to a very misled young Tugger, the latter would have never been able to severe himself from Macavity. Meanwhile, Tugger's effects on Munkustrap are less literal and obvious but just as significant. He acts as a looser, more optimistically nihilistic buffer to Munk's razor-sharp edges, and frequently functions as a catalyst for Munkustrap to unearth a bevy of feelings and emotions he's long been in the habit of smothering. They frequently bicker and frustrate each other, yes, but they know how to work with one another when it counts, and they love each other very much.

-

Old Deuteronomy - Munk is one of a few examples of a child of Deuteronomy who was raised primarily by the latter; among cats, it's frankly more common for those born into colonies to have been "raised by the village." Munkustrap has always been very close to his father, has bottomless admiration for him, and abides by his platitudes unquestioningly. Deuteronomy recognized a unique fervor and emotional vulnerability in a young Munkustrap and allowed the latter to attach himself inextricably to him. it's because of this connection, and Munkustrap's unconditional adulation of his father, that Tugger has traduced him as being a rather ideal "little soldier."

After a huge fallout with Macavity (whole thing it's a WHOLE THING), Old Deuteronomy took Munkustrap and his other followers (including Skimble, Jenny, Jelly, Gus, and Asparagus) and splintered away from the colony, going onto to establish the Jellicle colony that inhabits the Junkyard, as seen in the actual musical. For a while, the group focused on rebuilding and recuperating, and succeeded harmoniously. but, after a while when the reconstructed colony was comfortably settled, Deuteronomy became more of an itinerant than Munkustrap had ever known him to be, coming and going patternlessly. Munkustrap knows that he can always attempt to reach out to Old Deutoronomy (there's a postal system cats use...again...whole other thing) in times of need (i.e., when Munkustrap learned about Tugger being in Macavity's possession) but at that point, Munkustrap became established as the de facto Secondary Leader and had to establish himself as capable and independent. He never outwardly questions what Deutoronomy is up to when he's away on his long sojourns to Who Knows Where...but he's never one to question his father. (Tugger, on the other hand...)

Macavity - Macavity is symbolically around five-ish years older than Munkustrap. Closer in age than Tugger and Munk, but the gap is still significant. Munkustrap was born into the same colony as Macavity, and the two did share a portion of their respective childhoods together; Munkustrap being, of course, rather worshipful of Macavity as a kitten. Macavity, for his part, engaged with Munkustrap, and the latter retains fond memories of their interactions...but he also remembers how, with the clarity of hindsight, Macavity seemed to "troubled" back then. He was a bit moody, but that's not wholly unusual for an adolescent cat! More uniquely, he seemed oddly attune to the Jellicle Moon...an evidently Mystical characteristic. He often sought solitude and was reclusive, cagey, secretive, and was obsessed with his developing his mysticism and harvesting magic of Deuteronomy's ilk.

Ultimately, Macavity attempted to persuade Munkustrap to join him in a staged rebellion against Old Deuteronomy; but, even at such a tender age, Munk knew better than to be cajoled, and ultimately sided with his father. He tried in earnest to talk Macavity out of his pursuit of power, but of course...it was fruitless. And the ramifications were abominable. Ultimately, Macavity attempted something of a mutiny that resulted in the deaths of Munkustrap's mother, his two littermates, and the injury or loss of many of his friends and cats he considered to be family. To this day, Munkustrap blames himself for knowing of Macavity's designs, but underestimating him and failing to prevent the disaster. He vowed to never allow such calamity to befall his loved ones again, which manifests in the fiercely protective persona for which he's known. Whatever love existed between the two brothers has been seemingly lost to time; Munkustrap has grown past his bitterness, anger, and desire for retribution...but what's left in the wake are sadness, regret, and wariness.

-

Mistoffelees - The youngest of the protag trifecta of Munkustrap/Tugger/Mistoffelees (for purposes of not getting lost in the sauce, they are, in my mind, the Kirk/Spock/Bones so to speak), Mistoffelees is something of a little brother/son/protegee ??? person??? to Munkustrap. Their relationship is a little hard to compartmentalize, but it's warm and familial all the same. Munkustrap sort of supplies to Mistoffelees what Deuteronomy was to Munkustrap. The magical cat, of course, is far from the first youngun to ever stumble into Jellicle territory in need of reprieve, but usually raising the new arrivals is a village effort. And it still was for Mistoffelees, but Munkustrap zeroed in on him in particular for two major reasons: his inexpendably cathartic effect on Tugger, and the whole Being Magical. Munkustrap remembered, of course, the quixotic fascination his older brother had with magic and the legends surrounding it, and his own proclivities towards harvesting and using it, but Munk was not prejudicial towards Mistoffelees because of that. He knew from the onset that Mistoffelees and Macavity are incomparable, and wanted to make sure that Mistoffelees would never lose touch with the goodness at his core. He also wanted to solidify that Mistoffelees would not be treated differently because of his abilities, but would get to enjoy a normal and secure upbringing. Also...he intuited immediately that it was important for Macavity to Not Find Out about this inexplicably magical cat. (Magical Cats aren't exactly unheard of but they're really not...supposed to be able to exist anymore lmao)

In return for Munkustrap's warmth and extensions of care and friendship, Mistoffelees has always been eager to be helpful and useful, and often functions as a "right-hand man" for the Jellicle Protector in many of the banalities of life in the Junkyard. Despite his aloofness and eccentricities, Mistoffelees has always sought to please and prove himself to Munkustrap, despite the fact Munkustrap has always had confidence in him and never required proof or reassurance that the conjurer was someone he could trust and rely on. hhhhh idk their relationship is cute to me!!! they're cute!!!!

-

Alonzo - Alonzo and Munkustrap have a lot in common...like Munkustrap, Alonzo's early youth was peppered by loss and grief, disasters outside the scope of his control for which he still blames himself. Also like Munkustrap, it is because of these developments that Alonzo has sworn himself to be a protector for all those he holds dear. But, unlike Munkustrap, Alonzo is heavily saddled with endless self-doubt, self-flagellation, and fear. He's around Tugger's age, and Munkustrap recognizes how much learning and growing he needs to do, but also recognizes the drive and intensity propelling him towards becoming either a mess of self-destruction, or a rocksteady protector and friend on whom others can rely. Munkustrap instinctively took Alonzo under his wing, becoming his unofficial mentor, and is pretty much the only cat toward whom Alonzo is open and affectionate. The latter often goes to Munkustrap in times of doubt and fear, but also focuses on impressing and emulating the Jellicle Protector in any way he can. When it comes to being backed up during an altercation, or any matters concerning the security and safety of the colony, Munkustrap knows he can rely on Alonzo above anybody else to back him up. The two are very brotherly and familial with one another, and together make a duo that I, personally, would not fuck with.

Also, importantly, Alonzo supplies a sort of catharsis for Munkustrap as well. While the Protector may not realize it, being able to guide and mentor Alonzo functions as something like reparation for his own past failures; now he's able to pass on the lessons he's learned so that Alonzo won't make the same mistakes he made, and Alonzo being his protegee reassures him that he's capable of positively influence those who are in his care. (which he doesn't often conscientiously doubt, but losing his family instills fear in the back of his head that he'll fuck up in any way with his new family, a fear that's usually surfaced in conjunction with Tugger)

Jenny - She is a surrogate mother figure to Munkustrap, and one of the only cats to whom he yields his absolution of authority in the absence of Deuteronomy. (not unlike the way Kirk often has to cede to McCoy...two star trek references in one post about cats??) He's known her his entire life, and she has always been a source of comfort and guidance towards him that is similar, yet still different, in comparison to Deuteronomy. I like to think Jenny is one of the few cats that Munkustrap would ever go to for advice or consolation, and also one of the few cats who will openly question his approaches or point out his shortcomings. (it comes from a place of love!) Munkustrap also just thinks she's hilarious. A heavily burdened cat like him needs the unique combination of comfort and levity that a cat like Jennyanydots can provide! together they have a lovely rapport <3

-

(here comes the somewhat controversial takes pfffttt. you can flame me if you want idc it's the internet and I know what I signed up for lmao but if you are a demestrap purist who may become emotionally compromised by the suggestion that a romantic connection between the two is Not A Given, feel free to skip this part)

Demeter - listen. I know you're wondering but I'm going to keep it short for now okay. suffice it to say, they have a bit of a back-and-forth, so to speak, mostly stemming from Demeter trying to navigate the residual damage of her troubled past (and.....present) but. my version of Munkustrap is on the aroace spectrum (hides) and so instinctively doesn't move in on Demeter out of an impulse to "rescue" or "fix" her. And for her part, whenever she does indicate an interest in anybody, it's not like she's driven by a long-sufferer's Need For True Love. And even if it were, I'd lampshade that as Not A Good Basis For A Relationship. like idk it's a complicated thing, but regardless, I think she's a fascinating character on her own, far outside the realm of her sensuality and her relationships with the male characters lol.

So continuing, Munkustrap doesn't overstep the fact that she's an adult who can make her own decisions, and also he can see with his own eyeballs that she errs on the side of indecisive regarding her estimation of Macavity, and morality in general, and his mind is not clouded with "I Am A Straight Man In The Presence Of A Beautiful Woman" so as to persuade him to, for some reason, insist that she's not capable of making poor decisions, and trust her judgment above anybody else's in a comparable situation. He, of course, would like to help her, within reason, like he would like to help any cat who expresses interest in being a part of the colony and embracing the mores of Jelliclehood. And he is, of course, kind and helpful towards her because that's the kind of cat he is. and it has nothing to do with an urge to romance her. 😬 or protect her with anomalous fervency because She's Just A Girl (honestly idc about any implications regarding gender roles that have wormed their ways into various versions of CATS bc these are CATS and they lack culturally gendered expectations/roles and also they lack secondary sex characteristics)

because Demeter is rather flighty and cagey, and Munkustrap is a Busy Bee, it takes a while for the two of them to even really become friends, and when they do, there are still some ups and downs granted by a bevy of contrasting opinions/idiosyncrasies endemic to the respective characters. Once he gets to actually know her, Munkustrap does believe in Demeter and encourages her to make progress, but he doesn't hover over her or fuss over her more than he does any other of his adult friends lmao. in the few instances that she behaves in a sensual manner towards him, he's like...ig open to it, but again, he's on the aroace spectrum and navigates those kind of connections within that realm, which To Me means that, in his case, he's never governed by romantic, sensual, or sexual impulses/attractions. bc listen. I just love a male hero who is not ultimately fulfilled by A Woman's Love and Having Children (those things are great for some people!!! pls don't think I am suggesting otherwise lmaooooo)

if it seems like these past few paragraphs have a defensive tone...it may be because I operate in anticipation of being condemned by passionate shippers (and also I too am on the aroace spectrum and thats not for nothing lol) but like I said it's the internet and ik what I signed up for. I have nothing against believers in demestrap. not to mention that yk, hal.........it's about cats.

anyway!!!! Munkustrap has a meaningful relationship with everyone at the Junkyard, but I'm gonna stop here for now lol. I could write a passage for every possible combination of every possible pairing of cats but I have already gone beyond the scope I originally imagined pfft. I hope this gives an adequate enough glimpse into how I construe him and his personality and a little bit of his backstory. sorry if's confusing af, or if I focused too much on other cats. also I alluded to a few things that I'm not even sure I've expanded on before. but if you made it through this whole thing and if you care at all about my fanverse pls don't hesitate to ask for expansion or clarification on anything

ty for the ask!! <3

[camelspit]

had a vision and u guys arent ready for it (rayni x flori)

[k9punkout]

AND IF I SAID THAT ivan's perception of till's determination and hostility was generally wrong and unintentionally undermining of his actual mental instability. IF I SAID THAT this pov rubbed off on the fandom and plays into several till mischaracterizations. WHAT THEN.

okay so hear me out on this one. ivan's acknowledged that he could never quite understand till like he could all the other children. everyone else fell into a sort of pattern, a puzzle that can be solved with a simple analysis and adapted behavior. everyone except till.

till was no solvable puzzle. all the pieces to him were distorted, broken, missing. a living hurricane, a walking contradiction. he was gentle in his violence, quiet in his loudness, complex in his simplicity. ivan could get no true read on him, and that's why he grew so drawn to him.

and while i do believe that till is just an eccentric and unpredictable person at heart, a large part of his chaotic nature is due to his trauma. his rapid and intense mood swings, his aggressive behavior, his easily overwhelmed mind, his fluctuating ego, and many other aspects to him are all signs of abuse related mental instability. ivan saw all of that, witnessed all the abuse and all its side effects, but it never really struck him that holy shit, this guy needs psychological help.

and it's not like that's HIS fault either. Ivan was never really taught how people work, he learned via absorbing how the other children interacted instead (which isn't really efficient, he's no mind reader or anything). i wouldn't be surprised if he had no clue that mental illness even EXISTED; he always referred to himself and sua as simply "twisted" rather than trying to figure out if they could be helped or fixed, or WHY they stood out from the others.

he never even questioned his own hatred for himself. he simply thought it was reasonable, because of course, who wouldn't hate a monster like him? once someone knows who he is deep down, there is no redeeming quality that he can genuinely exhibit to exonerate himself from his rotten, detached mindset. in his mind, he deserves the isolation.

ivan truly sees himself as the worst person in the world, which makes till, by comparison, simply a confusing kid who isn't scared to fight back. ivan thinks till's willpower stems from great mental strength rather than desperation and fear. this would lead him to both misinterpret till's actions and overestimate his mental strength, all while underestimating how rapidly his sanity is withering.

this is shown quite a few times around the series. in "Confession," he refers to till as the "victim of his shallow emotions," demonizing himself and painting till as his victim. as if till could do no harm. as if till was the ONLY victim here. (i can't stop thinking about how much till would've hated that word. victim.)

in a slightly more elaborate retranslation of Cure that someone on this app did (i tried to find it but i sadly couldn't), the word "scars" ("even if your cruel words carve scars beneath my eyes") was said to be better translated into "scratches." a flesh wound. nothing debilitating, nothing severe, just painful for a while, and then gone. insignificant. the harm he inflicts is insignificant compared to everything else that he is.

i'll stick around, i'll stay, because the bruises we leave on each other are nothing compared to the spark he ignites within me.

till punches and kicks and screams and snarls, and to ivan, it's no problem, just something that makes him unique. he'd do anything to see him fight. so what if he gets caught in the crossfire? so what if he's killed while he's at it? it's all worth it. till could just continue on without him, it'd be so easy. he's strong, he never cared for him all that much anyway.

till is unpredictable, till is unique. it's just the way things work. nothing about it needs to be changed. the destruction he causes to himself and to others doesn't need to be fixed, it's already perfect. he's perfect, in all his imperfections.

THATS where the toxicity lies in ivantill. not because ivan is totally possessive and wants till to belong to him and only him or whatever some of the fandom says. but because ivan so obsessed with till that he'll die for him while calling him his victim. that he'll acknowledge till's hostile behavior and his quickness to rage and violence and consider it something to be loved rather than concerned about or feared. he'll hone in on his own flaws, never acknowledging till's, never seeing how they're destroying EACH OTHER, and exclusively focusing on the harm that HE'S done to till.

it's why ivan was always bothering him. he wanted to see him lose his temper, wanted him to fight and struggle. (more often than not, this was a good thing, as it often happened whenever till was sad/out of it, but just because something's beneficial in the moment doesn't mean it makes for a healthy relationship).

of course, none of this means that ivan DIDNT want till to be happy. he wouldn't have tried to escape with him if that was the case. he liked seeing till angry, but not any more than he hated seeing till miserable. despite not quite understanding him, he still wanted the best for that boy.

i think ivans warped perspective affected the way many people characterize till. a lot of people treat him as a more gentle person than he is in canon, and while it's true that he's mentally weak, he'd never cower in the face of someone stronger than him, like many people seem to think. he's vulnerable in the explosive and reactive sense, not in the powerless and delicate sense.

so far, we've gotten so much of ivans perspective of till that people seem to forget that he literally committed a murder in round 2. and he looked REALLY happy abt that shit. my mans freddy was a father of two and till did NOT care. not to mention that he didn't even spare acorn a GLANCE the entire round.

idk man the guy's a lil cuckoo loca we might need to remember that

[awkward-walking-potato]

hi!!! i love your work. i dont know if you have done this before, but would you do a sfw or nsfw alphabet with gambit?

A - Affection:

Gambit is naturally affectionate. Whether it's through his charming words, a subtle touch on the arm, or a mischievous smile, he shows affection in a smooth, almost effortless way.

B - Best Memory Together:

Remy’s favorite memories involve quiet moments away from the chaos, especially if they include a game of cards and some playful banter.

C - Cuddles:

Gambit enjoys cuddling, but with a bit of flair. Expect him to keep things light with teasing comments, but he’s also good at making you feel secure in his arms.

D - Domestic:

He’s a bit messy, preferring spontaneity over routine. But, he can charm his way into making it seem endearing when he leaves cards or bits of gear around.

E - Excitement:

Remy’s life is full of excitement, and he loves bringing you along for the ride. Whether it's a daring mission or a fun night out, he enjoys living life on the edge.

F - Fights:

Arguments with Remy are rare, but when they do happen, he prefers to smooth things over quickly. He hates leaving things unresolved and will use humor or flirtation to break the tension.

G - Gentle:

Though he has a rougher side due to his upbringing, Remy can be incredibly gentle when he wants to be, especially when it comes to physical affection or when you’re feeling vulnerable.

H - Hugs:

Remy’s hugs are always warm, and they come with a dash of his usual charm. He tends to embrace you from behind, playfully wrapping his arms around your waist.

I - Inspiration:

He admires your strength and resilience. Even if you don’t see it in yourself, he’s quick to remind you of how capable you are, often with a wink and a smirk.

J - Jealousy:

While Remy can get a bit possessive, he tries to play it cool. He trusts you, but if someone else seems to be getting too close, he’ll throw in some extra charm to remind them—and you—who you’re with.

K - Kisses:

Remy’s kisses are playful and teasing, but they can turn passionate in a heartbeat. He likes to leave you breathless, savoring each kiss as if it might be the last.

L - Love:

When Gambit falls in love, it’s intense and all-encompassing. He’s devoted and protective, showing his love through both grand gestures and smaller, thoughtful actions.

M - Mornings:

He’s not much of a morning person, preferring to sleep in whenever he can. But waking up next to you always puts him in a good mood, even if he teases you for being up earlier.

N - Nicknames:

Expect lots of French pet names like mon cher or chère. He enjoys using them, especially when he wants to tease or flirt with you.

O - Open:

Though Gambit is naturally secretive, especially about his past, he slowly opens up the more he trusts you. It might take time, but he’ll eventually let you in on his deeper thoughts and emotions.

P - Patience:

He’s surprisingly patient, especially when it comes to teaching you things or waiting for you to open up to him. His charm may be quick, but he understands that trust takes time.

Q - Quiet Moments:

While he enjoys the thrill of action, Remy also treasures quiet moments spent together, especially if they involve a card game or just lying in each other's arms.

R - Romance:

Remy is a natural romantic. He loves surprising you with flowers, small gifts, and candlelit dinners. His suave personality makes even the simplest gestures feel like grand displays of affection.

S - Support:

He’s always there to back you up, whether it’s in battle or during personal struggles. Remy believes in you fully and won’t hesitate to remind you of your strength and worth.

T - Trust:

Trust is a big deal for Gambit. He’s been burned before, so it takes a while for him to fully open up. Once you’ve earned his trust, though, he’s fiercely loyal.

U - Understanding:

He’s been through a lot in his life, so Remy is good at understanding complex emotions and difficult situations. He won’t push you to talk, but he’s always there when you’re ready.

V - Vulnerability:

While Gambit puts on a confident front, he has his vulnerable moments. He’ll only show this side to someone he truly trusts, and when he does, it’s a sign of how much he cares about you.

W - Wildcard:

Remy’s unpredictable, and he likes to keep things exciting. You never quite know what to expect with him, whether it’s a sudden romantic gesture or a spontaneous adventure.

X - X-Factor:

His X-Factor is definitely his charm. Remy has a way of making everyone feel special, but with you, there’s an extra layer of sincerity behind his playful nature.

Y - Yearning:

Remy is always yearning for a connection, whether it’s physical or emotional. He craves closeness and enjoys those rare, intimate moments where he can just be himself with you.

Z - Zen:

Though Gambit thrives in chaos, he finds his moments of zen in your presence, especially when he can let down his guard and simply enjoy the peace of being with you

[idkwhatimd0ingatall]

Will Story Event Translation (forgot the name)

// - is an alternate translation T/N: ignore my changing translation style, trying different things out to see what works. Also these translations aren’t accurate so the official translation will most likely be different T/N: Gave up on trying to fix the images

"I want you to kiss me."

The moment I entered the room and pleaded with Will, he gave me exactly what I desired.

After sitting on the bed together, Will traced my palate with his gentle tongue, and my body trembled with joy.

However,

William: ...

Suddenly, Will stopped kissing, and my body, left hanging, throbbed with a sense of longing.

Kate: Will?

William: For someone who pleaded for a kiss with such intensity, you seem distracted, Kate.

Kate: N-no, it's just...

William: Can't focus on kissing me, got some other 'business' on your mind?

Kate: No, it's not that! There's no other business... but...

I hesitated to tell him about the unfortunate incident.

(...Oh, but sooner or later, Will will find out.)

(Given Will's nature, he might already know... maybe he's deliberately asking to hear it from my mouth.)

Above all, because I want to face Will with a free and unburdened heart, I decided to confess today's events.

Kate: Actually...

William: ...'Kissed by a stranger'?

Kate: Yes, on my way back from today's mission, I was confronted... unable to escape it, just once.

The man I encountered on the roadside seemed drunk, persistently bothering me.

No matter how clearly I rejected him, he forcibly took my hand and brought his lips close.

Kate: Harrison and Liam, who came later, managed to drive him away, so there were no further consequences.

Kate: But... I can't forgive myself for allowing anyone other than Will to touch me.

I washed my hands repeatedly when I got home, to the point where my skin felt irritated.

Yet, the disgust from being touched couldn't be completely washed away, tormenting me.

Kate: ...I want to dedicate my life to Will as his servant.

Kate: My body and heart exist for Will alone, and I don't want to surrender them to anyone else. But... I allowed a kiss, and I regret it.

Feeling frustrated with myself, my fingertips trembled as I tightly clenched my fist on my knee.

William: Did you plead for a kiss to forget?

Kate: Yes... I'm sorry. I made you deal with my own issues.

William: No need to apologize. The one at fault is the man who forced himself on you, isn't it?

Will took my hand firmly and laid a kiss on the palm.

(...I heard somewhere that a kiss on the palm is a plea.)

Not something taken by force, but a kiss filled with respect, like showing that I have value worth pleading for. It warmed my heart.

(Even without using the cursed ability, Will's words have a mysterious power.)

(The inability to resist, the discomfort from being touched, all slowly melted away...)

The man who forcibly approached me is the only one at fault, and I finally forgave myself.

Kate: ...Thank you, Will.

William: Just stating the obvious. Now, there's nothing to cloud your mind, right?

Kate: ...Can I ask for a little selfishness?

Kate: I want you to kiss me. Many times, enough to make today's events fade away.

In truth, my heart is already healed with the words Will gave me.

I won't even notice if that man passes by me in the city; Will must understand my inner thoughts.

(So this is just... an invitation, a line used just to kiss my lover.)

William: If you wish, as much as you want.

With a seductive smile, Will embraced me from behind.

Kate: Will...?

In this position, isn’t it difficult for our lips to meet?

I tried to turn around, calling his name in confusion, but

William: Stay like this.

I was restrained, and a kiss was dropped behind my ear.

Will's tongue crawled along the curve, making a wet sound.

Kate: ...Ah, n-no.

William: Kate... don't suppress your voice.

William: After hearing it so many times, there's nothing embarrassing about it now, is there?

Kate: But... to feel so much from just the ear... isn't it strange?

Just being embraced from behind and kissed on the ear, warmth accumulated inside my body.

William: It's not strange. Kate, it's cute how you react so honestly to your feelings.

Will lightly nibbled on my ear, and his tongue slid into my ear canal.

William: Mmm... haah...

Kate: Mm... ah... haah...

Trying to endure the sweet throbbing, I hugged the cushion tightly against my knees.

William: ...Should have changed the position.

Kate: Eh...?

William: If our bodies were facing the other way, you would have clung to me, right?

Kate: Hehe... it's like you're jealous of the cushion.

William: I can get jealous. I can't catch you as softly as a cushion.

// I get jealous too. Softly catching you like a feather is something my body can't do.

As Will joked, I couldn't help but laugh.

(Normally, if someone is jealous, it would be of a person, not a cushion, right?)

(I can't imagine Will being jealous, but that's okay.)

Will's jealousy will probably remain forever unexplored, and that's fine.

As long as we understand that we love each other more than anyone else, there's no need for jealousy.

Releasing the cushion that became the target of jealousy, I faced Will directly.

William: Do you know this saying?

William: A kiss on the hand is a kiss of respect. On the forehead, a kiss of friendship. On the cheek, a kiss of satisfaction.

William: On the lips, a kiss of love. On closed eyes, a kiss of admiration/yearning. On the palm, a kiss of pleading.

William: On the arm and neck, a kiss of desire... any other kiss is considered 'madness,' according to the whims of the poet.

Kate: I heard this in a play once. It was titled 'Kiss,' wasn't it?

Will nodded and pulled me close again.

William: When I remembered this poem, I thought of choosing one and giving it to you, Kate... but I decided against it.

William: Narrowing down my feelings for you to just one is more challenging than any mission.

Kate: ...In that case, give me all of them.

William: Of course. That's the plan.

William: Whether you're ready to accept all those emotions... there's no need to ask.

As if engraving all the emotions into me, Will continued to kiss me following the poem.

Liam: Mission complete! ...Although, we probably didn't need to come. Will pretty much took care of everything.

Harrison: The illegal organization has been completely wiped out. Whether the headcount matches or not, let's count the bodies.

Liam: Okay! 1, 2, 3, 4... 4?

Liam: ...Huh? Hey, Harry, doesn't this guy look familiar from somewhere?

Harrison: Even if you say he looks familiar... His face is all messed up, isn't it impossible to identify him?

Liam: Hmm... this build, the shape of the head, that plain-patterned shirt... I feel like I've seen him somewhere, though...

Liam: ...Ah, got it! This is the guy who was pestering Kate not too long ago!

Liam: You know, grabbed her hand forcibly, made a loud smooching sound, kissed her forcefully!

Harrison: Oh yeah, I remember now. That guy...

Liam: Will, you didn't say anything when you saw the target's information. But did you know about him?

Harrison: Knowing Will, he probably planned this method of killing, right?

The man had used a knife to cut off his own lips, leaving a gruesome sight.

Liam: Kate, you're loved.

Harrison: To speak of love in this situation... not the best sight, I think...

FIN~

[astheworldgoesonitswickedway]

So we’ve all been wondering who Olaf meant when he mentioned losing his love. After a lot of analysis I’m sticking with Kit. It’s true that Olaf and Esme were in an on again of again relationship even before the events of the series. And we know Carmelita is the main reason they broke up, otherwise they may not have. But I’ve noticed it seems like Olaf needs “someone,” or really “anyone.” Whether this is someone to flatter and praise him or someone to abuse seems to fluctuate based on his circumstances and mood. This desperation for attention explains a lot about his relationships with Orville, Esme, and even Olivia (in the books) I was initially disappointed reading The End because I hoped for more than we got about Olaf and Kit. Until I realized Olaf’s silence is actually a major clue. He loves to talk and brag and go on and on. But despite his obnoxiousness the moment Kit is mentioned by others, we don’t hear a lot from him. I know you’re thinking about the moment he threatened to shoot her with a harpoon gun, but let’s not forget how much he loves to bluff. And how easily he accepted an excuse not to go through with it despite hating being told what to do. We know when the Baudelaires found Kit she was laid out in a way that wasn’t natural from the storm. It is indicated Olaf found and took care of her. He shows no outward concern to the Baudelaires but no antagonism either like he did toward other V.F.D. members. He tried to impersonate her, but it would have been much easier without the real Kit right next to him about to wake up. He didn’t eliminate what he might have considered an obstacle. Now when the kids ask him for help he mocks them and is insulted they would ask, but he didn’t realize what they were asking for, or rather, who. When he finds out, there is no hesitation despite his wound which he immediately dismisses. Considering his love for attention I’ve wondered if this was to not seem weak in front of them or to seem strong enough to save Kit. It’s worth mentioning this paragraph of him saving her is the only time I remember the word gentle ever describing his actions. Despite their chemistry, even with Esme, Olaf was very…Olaf. With Kit he almost seems to let his guard down. He doesn’t apologize and his words aren’t necessarily kind, but he seems to be honest. Which is something that can’t really be said for anyone else. In the show he is even more gentle. He says he never forgot her and strokes her face, when you pair this with him saying he would kiss her again, it’s likely he spent all those years thinking of her and that promise. The last thing Esme got was Olaf sending her to the worst part of the fire to probably die. Seeing Kit again even made him return to poetry something we assume he had sworn of as being “too V.F.D.” In a small way she brought him back to some of the person he used to be. I don’t think he ever stopped dreaming about the life they could have had.

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 9)

Star's the Papyrus (both are idealistic & seen as naive) of this game (Martlet is another possible parallel), even though he's got similarities with Undyne too. No matter how broken Ceroba seemed he asked himself WHY she did what she did and I think that's SUPER important.

Ceroba didn't do this. Her first instinct was to be harsh (after being harsh with him even BEFORE he attacked Clover):

called his personality "damaged" before this scene

... you never asked yourself WHY he did the whole sheriff act.

.... you never asked WHY he didn't want to grow up. If it was a coping mechanism, if he wanted to help his community in a way he couldn't as a farmer? It was never on her mind.

Yes he has baggage but he's dealing with it all while uplifting others, Ceroba has baggage but is well taken care of by Star and at least has him, he has no one but himself and his optimism to pull him out of negative feelings, and still gets insulted.

Yeah Ceroba's been through stuff but apparently it's been some time since Chujin passed and Kanako fell down, she should have at least started to support Star emotionally like he's been supporting her (sure, he did so with distractions, but as he said "aren't distractions what's best for all of that?" He did his best). Problem is she DIDN'T realise he was ever struggling with self worth and only assumed he was goofing off. Either that or she did nothing about it aka was too occupied with her own problems (which are valid but still... she should have tried at least a little) Cer's character flaw is being too stubborn and devoted to Chujin. She trusted him blindly and wholeheartedly. Everything else came in 2nd place. This is clear as day.

It hurts knowing Ceroba could never respect Starlo the way she still does her husband. Not saying she shouldn't admire Chujin, but the way she sees Star as a goofy manchild whose lifelong passion can go "too far," the way she sees all this Wild East stuff as him "just having fun," the way she thinks that only someone whose brain isn't developed would ever consider dating him just... ticks me off, tbh. That's why I think the guy needs someone who will be gentle and patient with him, even if that other person is going through tough times.

She DID call Starlo the best sheriff she's ever known (honestly the only sweet moment between them in pacifist, but it is very brief, especially in neutral where he just gets cut off; also I hope she was being genuine here) and said how everyone adored him (but hated his persona, which I've already covered: basically they either hated 'North Star' as a whole, which I hope isn't true, or just how excited he was to meet Clover, which makes no sense to me; already covered it as well)

Bonus: Dina didn't know who Star really was or what he looked like, not before the end credits rolled (when he shows up as himself & she's also seen there; makes sense that he finally came clean to her):

So he's literally been playing this role 24/7, ever since she became the bartender; ever since this town started to exist. It's impressive how he could keep up an act AND use this fake accent for so long

Bonus #2: Star was SUPER worried about Clover's safety; that's what REALLY upset him (he cares about that child sm). THAT's what drove him off the edge (unless he naturally has a temper, i don't think this is it tho). Either way, he was way more patient w Ceroba than I think most would have been in that situation. Sure he snapped a few times, but there was a good reason to. He still TRIED to reason with her. Why did he attack? Worried for Martlet & Clover. I honestly think Star's the type to only get super angry if someone he loves is in danger (minus the stuff that happened which led him to cracking)

[greenandhazy]

The thing about NieYao for me is that even when they know the worst of each other, they don’t pull away.

After Nie Mingjue witnesses Meng Yao commit murder, after the confrontation at Nightless City—Nie Mingjue still agrees to swear brotherhood with him. And sure, some if it (even most of it) may be Lan Xichen’s persuasion, but not all of it. He still says he wants to keep Jin Guangyao on the right path. He still swears an oath that is mutually binding for both of them.

After Nie Mingjue’s suspicious nature and violent tendencies get worse, after he kicks Jin Guangyao down the stairs and calls him a son of a whore—okay, maybe before, depending on the adaptation—Jin Guangyao chooses to kill him, but he still does it in this very gentle, intimate way that involves him repeatedly going into Nie Mingjue’s home or welcoming Nie Mingjue into his, and after the death he maintains a good relationship with Nie Huaisang (from his POV) and remains enmeshed in Qinghe Nie, keeps Nie Mingjue’s head in his treasure room and feels bound to it, chooses Nie Mingjue as the tool of his ultimate destruction (even as he pushes Lan Xichen away).

It’s the mutual obsession. And I wouldn’t necessarily say that someone seeing the worst in you is the Most Honest way to read someone, but I think for me the reason why NieYao is and will always be the side of 3zun that most fascinates me is the fact that, imo, the worst parts they see in each other are also the parts they most fear.

Meng Yao sees NMJ as rigid, unyielding, incapable of empathizing with others or seeing things from other points of view, unable to be controlled or to control himself—all things that are exploited by and exaggerated by the saber curse, the things that were already driving NMJ to an early grave. Also worth noting that the two main victims we see of his increasing instability are Jin Guangyao and Huaisang, his brother and his heir whom he loves. At times Jin Guangyao is even the one defending Huaisang (the symbol of Qinghe Nie’s future) from NMJ, which I can only imagine he hates more than anything.

As for Meng Yao, there’s a common characterization I see of him that always strikes me as somewhat off, which is one in which he has, basically, low self-esteem and is shocked at being treated well and almost tries to walk it back on behalf of the person being nice to him. I don’t think that’s true. I think Meng Yao does believe that he deserves the position and respect his mother told him was his birthright, and he resents other people for failing to give it to him, because he loves his mother! He thinks SHE is worthy of respect and adoration, and therefore his status as her son shouldn’t be shameful. Appropriately enough, I think that’s what draws him to Nie Mingjue in the first place—the fact that NMJ is the first/among the first people to elevate him based on merit, which SHOULD BE how the world works!

But there is this insidious catch-22, which is that in order to be worthy of the position of respected sect leader’s son, he needs to act like and uphold the values of a respected sect leader’s son… and if he does that, no one will ever raise him to the position. He needs to be a bastard in order to get the job done, which is what Nie Mingjue criticizes him for. He needs to kill, to be sly, to eliminate his enemies, to do his father’s dirty work. And I do think that, over time, his sense of self-respect begins to falter a little, to become intertwined and tainted with disgust at what he’s done, especially when it comes to the people who are closer to him—killing Nie Mingjue, marrying Qin Su and keeping the secret from her, Whatever Happened With Jin Rusong.

So Nie Mingjue’s attitude towards him represents this growing fear: it’s not that Jin Guangyao is unworthy because of his mother, but because of himself. Because his own actions are undeserving of the lofty place his mother imagined for him, the place that she prepared him for and he failed to achieve.

And both of them feel powerless to get off those destructive paths. Nie Mingjue is going to keep cultivating with the saber, because that’s what his family does. Jin Guangyao is going to keep doing whatever he can to get his father’s approval, because that’s what his mother wanted for him. They can see each other’s downfalls so clearly but they’re trapped, and eventually they end up trapped in that coffin together, hand in unlovable fucking hand.

[mncxbe]

Hey, first time request! Recently I watched an anime called My Happy Marriage and I was wondering if I could request Dazai, Chuuya, Kunikida, Fukuzawa, Ranpo, Akutagawa and Fyodor with the reader who has a personality and history similar to Miyo Saimori? How would the BSD characters help the reader?

Here is the information about the character and anime: https://my-happy-marriage.fandom.com/wiki/Miyo_Saimori#cite_note-novel-v1-1-1

P.S: I recommend you watch the anime before making my request so that you will understand the characters and the plot.

Thank you!

hii dear♡ unfortunately I had no time to watch the anime cuz my schedule has been packed these days. but I read Miyo's backstory in the manga and on wikifandom so I'm quite sure I got the main idea ^^

so reader is gonna have her backstory, personality and ability but she's just in a relationship with the bsd guys, not an arranged marriage. I really hope you like it♡♡

°☆○

12:20♡

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒚𝒂, 𝑲𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒂, 𝑨𝒌𝒖, 𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒑𝒐, 𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒛𝒂𝒘𝒂, 𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff♡

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊

Dazai is a very perceptive individual. he could tell from the second the two of you met that there was something different about you. still, he doesn't bring it up until you got closer

when you decided to tell him everything about your past; how you've never been loved by your family, how you've always tried to prove yourself to them but it was all for nothing. how you've always felt like you weren't good enough; he's surprisingly understanding

as someone who has never felt love he gets you. of course he doesn't dare compare his past to yours

Dazai is such a supportive partner. it's the little things for him like telling you you're appreciated and loved and surprising you with gifts (when he actually has money lmao)

he doesn't strike me as the type of partner who pushes all the "but how can you think so lowly of yourself? you're amazing" on you. he knows fully well that healing is a long process but he's ready to support you all the way

when you're having especially tough time, and not only with your family but also in general, he's always there for you.

best cuddle sessions when you're sad

tries his best to show you the love you never had and get you out of your shell (ofc he does, he's an extrovert)

as for your ability I don't feel like it would matter too much for him. of course, he finds it impressive but in the end, he love you for who you are, not for your ability.

you both end up healing each other; you show him kindness and he makes you see your worth. so overall it's a healthy relationship♡

𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒚𝒂

he gets so mad when you tell him about your past. he's angry because he really cannot understand how your family could ever treat you like this

he's honestly surprised that you're so kind and gentle, considering what you've been through

calls your sister a bitch for sure. but after you tell him to stop he doesn't do it anymore

showers you with love in all shapes and forms. you wanna have a nice chat over a glass of wine? sure. he saw you looking at a kimono while the two of you were out on a date? he gets it for you.

very supportive overall although he may not be able to express his feelings sometimes.

let's just pray he never meets your family💀

reassures you a lot and really tries to show you that you're appreciated. you always feel loved when you're with him

𝑲𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒂

this neon green flag of a man will listen to you talk about your past and keep a straight face. but deep inside he feels like crying

he's a man of strong morals so naturally he's mad at the injustice of your family

very reassuring and patient, he gives the best words of affirmation and always makes sure you feel appreciated

as for your ability he does think it's powerful. and if you work for the ADA he's sure to keep you as safe as possible

feels a deep need to shelter you from every bad thing in the world because honestly, you've been through enough

God forbid you ever have a fight. he'll cry himself to sleep

tries his best to always remind you that you're loved and that your past doesn't define you and that you don't need to prove yourself to him in any way

overall GREEN FLAG

𝑨𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂

oh boy

when you tell him about your past and the things your family did he just sits there like: 😐

Akutagawa knows very well the pain of never feeling good enough and always needing to please others

you bond a lot over your traumatic childhoods althought it takes him a while to open up

he's not too god (he's downright terrible) at talking and reassuring you with words of affirmation. so he'll show you that you're cared for through little kind gestures like brewing you tea in the morning, bringing you snacks after his missions and spending time with you

at first he thinks your ability is weak cuz it's not useful in combat. but when he actually realises what you can do he holds such respect for you like hands down. somehow he also feels a but thretened by your power?? in a way?? but he gets over it

little by little you both fully open up to each other. your gentle personality really soothes his soul

so just like with Dazai, you help each other heal and have an overall healthy relationship♡

𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒑𝒐

speaking of perceptive...

he probably deduced your trooma✨️ after a simple chat. but then again you tell him everything at some point

he's really supportive and caring. sometimes he may come across as too pushy, like forcing you to get out of your shell and meet his friends and be more open about your feelings, but he means well

really sweet and gentle when you're in private. you can talk openly to him about anything he will listen

"Oh? You feel like you're not good enough for me? Nuh uh"

Ranpo may seem childish and playful most of the time but he's actually thoughtful

always shares your candy with you to show you how much he cares

I do see him asking Poe to write a novel describing the perfect date place. and then takes you on that perfect date yk. he's smooth like that

being with you makes him act more mature and serious. because he is serious about you. he truly wants to show you the love you never had and make you feel worthy of yourself

𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒛𝒂𝒘𝒂

another green flag

you can see his smile slowly fade away when you tell him everything about your past

when you're done he hugs you so tightly♡

making sure you're appreciated is one of his number one priorities now

ofc he doesn't mind that you're shy. always reassures you that you can take things slow and fully open up to each other and all. he's really sweet

if you weren't his partner and just a member of the ADA he'd be your father figure. but that's not the case

makes you feel cared for with acts of service and quality time. although he's busy at the Agency he always makes time to go on dates with you or simply spend time in the comfort of your home

🙏🙏 best words of affirmation

he feels the need to protect you. Fukuzawa is very much aware of the fact that your ability makes you a target. many people could take advantage of it. so he wants to keep you safe

he does his utmost to be reassuring and offer you support whenever you need it. and helps you heal and learn to love yourself.

𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓

this man... when I tell you he only wanted you for your ability at first

but somehow he realises that there's more to you than just your power. little by little he grows fond of you; and curious

when you tell him about your past he's disappointed but not surprised. he knows how cruel people can be

still, after that he treats you more like a human being and when you do end up together he's surprisingly gentle

Fyodor is lowkey forced to change his attitude towards you. to be kind and good. to show you that you're loved because it really pains him to see you suffer

I see him brewing you tea, cuddling with you while you read a book together and playing the cello to cheer you up when you're sad or simply need to unwind

being with him may not be the easiest. he's cold and distant sometimes but he does his best to reassure you that you're worhty, loved and precious (and not only because of your ability)

STILL if you ever get into a fight he won't hesitate to use your past against you. but he will regret it the second he sees how your face drops. so he apologises

[zoeykallus]

heya! I'm not sure if your requests are closed, and by no means do I hope to overwhelm you further with more requests :'D feel free to ignore this especially bc it's more of a negative request aaa

so as context: sometimes I zone out and due to my childhood I will flinch if I see a movement coming at me which at the time I thought was understandable/normal but my bf has already expressed his disappointment every time I flinched or denied physical affection and left me being the one who apologizes for a reflex and I was wondering how the batch (platonically) would react to the reader (preferably female) telling them that story if the reader was the batch's bffs or smth? :'D (plus Cody if that's okay!) I'd be curious to know if they would just try to calm me down or if they would try to encourage me to get that specific thing fixed maybe?

argh I'm so sorry for the long ass text cRIES

again no pressure whatsoever with this waaah

Aloha! 😊

Interesting question. Personally, I think personal space should always be respected, no matter how close we are with someone. In a relationship, most people tend to loving physical contact in many different forms, and I see how this reaction can be surprising or off-putting for some. But with a little empathy and patience, that really shouldn't be a problem for a partner to get used to and accept. If my partner is jumpy with such reflex reactions, I should be able to adjust. There is a reason for this reaction and I think you shouldn't be, or feel pressured to apologize for it. All in all, communication (and an understanding, open mind) is key, as it almost always is. Then there is also the option to try and get that out of your system, so to speak. Therapy might help, it's worth a try or two. After all, it would possibly make things easier for you as well, giving you more comfort in everyday life. Easier said than done, I know. But that's just my two cents. Either way, I'm wishing you all the best 😊 Let's see...

The Bad Batch/Cody x Reader HCs - The Flinch

Warnings: Implied Trauma / Traumatic Reflex Reaction

_________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

_________

>Masterlist<

Hunter

It can happen casually, maybe he doesn't really think about it, just wants your attention for a moment, but you are busy, and your mind is elsewhere. A brief touch on the shoulder, innocent, gentle, without ulterior motives. Still, you flinch and turn around so quickly, startled, that he flinches briefly himself.

Hunter in no way intended to scare you or offend you, he would never do that consciously. Of course, he apologizes, you are close friends, he knows your past that you confided in him.

"I should have known better, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

He is patient, gentle and forgiving. Hunter tries his best to be sensitive to you and respect your boundaries. He is careful in his interactions with you, considerate.

Echo

The first time it happens, he is so startled by your reaction that he backs away and looks at his hand as if he expects to see it red-hot, or spiked. He blinks a few times, then says, "Sorry, did I scare you?"

Whether you confide in him or not, Echo will never hold it against you. He can understand that your reaction has a background, and he can respect that you don't want to share it with him. This does not change the fact that he will take it into consideration.

He sometimes seems strict and so serious, but he has an antenna for the sensitivities of others. It is in his nature to be considerate.

Wrecker

He is a bit impetuous and very affectionate. Scaring you or triggering a reaction is never his intention, but it can still happen quite a few times. You can speak openly with Wrecker, he is happy to listen to you, he is understanding even if you don't tell him everything.

He will always apologize if it still happens accidentally, and he will never blame you for these reactions. He will rather make sure that others around you respect your personal space as well.

Tech

He is not a particularly physical guy. On the contrary, Tech values his personal space and usually respects that of others around him. In combat, this may not be possible at times, but in general everyday life, Tech tends to keep a polite distance.

If he does trigger that automatic flight or defensive reaction, he apologizes immediately, and you can assume it won't happen again. He himself is not a fan of surprising touches, which is why he doesn't like Wreckers' little nudges at all and usually lets them pass with rolling eyes or critically furrowed brows.

Crosshair

As almost always, his first reaction is a bit grumpy. He doesn't immediately understand what's going on, but he's a good observer and a bright guy. Of course, he notices that you have these reactions more often, even with other people.

Crosshair reads your body language and realizes that this is a learned, habitual reflex reaction. He understands that there is a real, possibly deep-seated reason behind it. Of course, he adapts, even if he doesn't like to admit it, he can be considerate and very understanding.

So you don't have to worry about him. He certainly doesn't respect or appreciate you less than before because of that. In fact, it awakens a certain protective instinct in him.

Cody

At first, he is surprised, but he is neither offended nor annoyed. But he is attentive. As a soldier, he's learned to read body language, to interpret reactions, and even though you might not say anything about it, Cody understands pretty quickly what makes you tick.

You can count on him to pay attention to that in the future. You don't have to apologize to him, you can just be yourself and relax. Cody is always a safe haven.

He also won't let other people maybe cause you problems because of it. Anyone who teases you about it or makes fun of you should be prepared to get in trouble.

[yuseirra]

Seriously though, it’s so, so strange… Really strange.

What’s odd is that, just now, I opened the manga to reference it for my work, and I’m thinking… Why do I still feel like Ai chose the best possible person among those she could have? Even after seeing everything that became of him?

Why do I still feel like she found someone truly good—someone absolutely worthy of love? If I were the writer, I’d want Ai to meet such a person. So emotionally, I can accept this, but looking at how the story is unfolding, I’m confused about how it’s supposed to make sense. I want it to end this way, and emotionally, I’m convinced it will. But logically, it’s hard to imagine what path the story will take to get there.

How can I still be so strongly convinced that Ai’s boyfriend, at his core, has one of the most genuinely good personalities in the entire series? No one’s ever told me he was a good person. In fact, there’s been a lot of negative impressions about him, but somehow, this feeling pushes through all of that. How?

I can’t shake the thought that someone with a nature like his couldn’t just twist like this on his own.

There were bad circumstances, despair, incredibly poor luck, and the guilt he’s carried—sure, that’s all there. And narratively, it makes sense. He’s written in a way that he couldn’t help but deeply, deeply love Ai, so after her death, of course, he wouldn’t be okay. How could he be?

But something else pushed him beyond the point of normal breakdown. It feels like something shattered him far more than what he could have endured naturally. It’s as if something made him lose his mind completely. It’s too strange. Why do I feel this way?

But when the line about him having a “noble soul” came up, I accepted it immediately. I thought, of course. It felt so obvious to me that I wondered why it hadn’t come up sooner. It was exactly what I expected.

Ai really did find someone who wanted to be with her forever, someone truly good. I am convinced yet again. That feeling strikes me really strongly.

But how did he end up like this? I have some ideas, but I can’t know what the author has in mind. And no matter how much a reader tries to predict a series still in progress, ultimately, it’s up to the author, right?

He’s barely appeared in the story, yet why do I feel so strongly about this?;;; Why do I feel like this? But I’m still relying on that feeling when I draw fan art.

It’s so strange…

He’s an extraordinarily kind person, I think? but… this is strange. Why do I feel this way after seeing everything?;;; What’s going on? Why am I like this?

The good thing is, with a personality like that, I know I can handle him well. I always love these types of characters, so drawing him would be fun. But really… is this right? I mean, he’s someone who is accused of having killed many people and even tried to kill his own daughter—how could this feeling even be correct?

One more thing I’ve noticed—if just two or three good things had happened to him along the way, Kamiki wouldn’t have ended up so broken.

When I think about what the author is trying to show by completely destroying a character who was once so gentle…

I think I get it. There could be a message that can be derived from it, if I'm inferring things right. But… I’m not sure because I'm not the writer themselves, so… haha.

Ah, if I couldn’t sense anything, I’d just shut off my brain and go along with whatever, I wouldn't care at all. I keep feeling like I see something faint, though, so I keep talking about it. But since there’s no certainty, I feel like I’m making a fool of myself.

Ah. Really… I rarely misread these kinds of things. He’s such a fundamentally good person… I wish they’d show more clearly how he ended up like this. He’s worth studying. Since both of the authors are so skilled in psychological portrayal, I’m sure they’ll express this in a way that makes sense. I feel like I could predict it, but it’s still too vague for me to say.

These intuitions are so hard to explain. But they’re usually right. I don’t get these things wrong often… So for now, I’m just writing it down because feelings are fleeting and I would think of different things at different time. These little notes live in the now.

[mischiefmaker615]

Dangerously Yours

Rating: PG 14

Summary: denial can be just as dangerous as a blade to your throat. 

Requested By: @guccicvm (wattpad)

Original Dialogue

Your chest rose and fell at a pace where you tried to tell yourself to relax. This was all suppose to be easy, simple even.. if it wasn't for the fact that he had woken up and those piercing green eyes practically stopped you in your tracks as the moonlight shown on you both through the windows of his bedroom. His bedroom..

Your hand shook as you tried to hold the knife still as it lay resting at his neck, not enough pressure to pierce but one small movement and it would. Your other hand resting at his bare chest, as if that alone would keep the god pinned, along with the fact that you were straddling him at his lips.

His arms stayed put at his sides, resting over his sheets as they draped up to his waist in silk. His hands barely ghosting your legs as his breathing had you rising and falling in a slow rhythm. He was calm.. to calm for one who had a blade at his throat, but of course you knew this wasn't no ordinary someone.

"Loki-''

"I'm going to tell you something my dear, my life is already in your hands in this particular predicament'' he smirked, not an ounce of concern in his eyes but his tone held seriousness.

''then don't tell me- you cant trust me and nothing you can say or do will change anything.. change what I have to do..'' you cut him off, knowing his cunning mind had its way of being manipulative.

"I love you.'' He said plainly, his voice and eyes calm as your eyes widen. ''And I believe you love me.''

"your.. your wrong! there was- is nothing between us''

''that isn't true darling-" he sighed with a small smile and a hushed tone.

''it is true! what may have happened before was merely just two young people.. young and stupid people not knowing what they wanted..'' your voice snapped at him and your gaze hardened. What was he doing?

''you might as well take my heart darling, for it is already full of you. It has always been yours since the day we met.''

Memories you wish you could forget had your eyes glance away from his for a mere second. ''you're a fool Loki..''

''isn't anyone who falls in love?..'' his voice paused, knowing honest feelings weren't quite in his nature too put into words, but he knew this moment was as serious as the blade at this throat. ''..Do you know what you are to me? You are something to believe in again, a sight that makes mere goddesses crumble in jealousy, a dream worth pursuing.. a wife I'd beg to have beside me..''

To your surprise, you felt a few tears run down your cheeks and fall upon your chest as you gazed down at him, your voice a whisper. "don't be a child.. we pursued other things but not each other." Your paths were different and you weren't here for all of that.

Upon seeing your tears, his eyes filled with gentle concern and his muscles tensed to stop himself from wiping your tears. ''what is it, what's wrong my dear?''

You merely shook your head. ''you know nothing about me- you've only known me for 3 weeks-''

''three glorious weeks my darling and yet I've still known you for all my life.'' Loki breathed with a smile by the memory. ''I began finally living the moment you stepped in sight. I've seen you in a thousand books, a hundred plays and a million songs-''

''shut up shut up!'' you snap, shaking your head to focus. ''Perhaps I was that woman once but I'm not her anymore.. your wrong and you cannot trust me.. at the very least, trust my decision.. right here, right now-''

Loki merely gave an amused look on his face at your attempt and sighed. ''don't play coy my darling, remember who you also lie too.'' His smile broke out into a grin, a grin that told you he knew more than what you thought. ''..I've known about who sent you and your plans leading up to this very moment the day you stepped foot into Asgard.''

You blink at him as you waited to catch his bluff. It must have been that damned gate keeper.. some type of magic.. there was no way- but his face was just as serious as yours as you slowly took a breath to try to understand. ''.. and.. and it didn't make a difference?''

Loki slowly shook his head. ''it didn't make any difference. You came here to betray me and to betray my realm. That is your assignment here and yet I am so sure of your feelings for me that I will trust you with my life'' he whispered, leaning forward so the blade pressed more against his skin, your instincts had you shift it back away. His smirk told you that by your hesitation right then and there, you were second guessing your decision.

How could he possibly have so much faith in you? ''i.. I will betray you-''

''you will betray yourself at the same time.'' he then smirked, revealing how as always, he will already be several steps ahead as his eyes dragged over your body then. ''even now I have been in the works to destroy those who had sent you''

Your body tenses against his and he knows it as your grip tightened on the handle. ''..no-''

''their only greatest decision was to be sending you here.''

Your eyes harden as you question him. ''..why?''

His eyes soften again as his eyes rise back up to your own. ''he knew I would love you. However, he never anticipated that you would also love me in return.''

By your silence, he already knew he was right as your gaze faded off ever so slightly. Your muscles relaxed as if your body itself was giving up in defeat yet your mind still questioned as he gave you a small smile. ''is your realm more important than me?.. surely those wonderous three weeks couldn't have meant nothing to you..''

By your reminders of the past days, the glorious past days as lovers would have spent, a small smile peaked at the corner of your mouth as you slowly shook your head. ''no..'' you whisper, knowing he was far more important than anything else that had entered your life before.

Your eyes drew back to his as you felt his finger tips slowly ghost over your legs, dragging up before he rested his hands on your hips and stayed still once more. He was warm.. and cold. A familiar touch and one that never came unwelcomed.

''help me then darling, help me overcome him.'' he whispered, knowing just how stubborn she could be in her decisions, almost as worst as he and he sighed. ''together.. we both cant win.''

Win.. so that was this was about? His cunning mind trying to distract you, to woo you so that your guard would fall so that he could have his thrown.. your realm, as if having all this now wasn't enough for him.. your eyes sharpened as you practically glared at him.

''..you think your clever don't you? I can read you just as you claim to know me, you probably made me love you! You just want information- for me to betray my people, my home, for you!''

His eyes sharpened as he seemed to stare right into your soul. ''that's not the way to look at it Y/N-''

''just admit that you have lost! You forgot how close hate is to love- give up our duel of wits!'' you snap, knowing how he always hates to lose, that's probably all this was. Yet now you were on top.. literally, with a blade in your hands. Of course he would say anything to get out of this..

''then why haven't you ended this.'' He dared. ''You don't know what you are saying Y/N-''

''you never loved me! You knew I loved you and you USED that!'' the tears returned to fall as his hands slightly gripped your hips, stopping himself once more to dry your cheeks.

''stop talking nonsense!''

Your eyes glared at him. nonsense? Was he not taking you seriously? Just to show him, you ever so slightly gave pressure at his neck. ''..I'd advise you to choose your next words wisely.''

His expression switched to someone calm.. to calm where it almost scared you as he teased. ''well, aren't we a bit melodramatic, aren't we dear?'' he smirked.

Bastard silver tongue. ''-run your mouth, it won't change anything because you have very little time to do so-''

''so your actually going to kill me?'' he says being dramatically shocked.

More pressure. ''listen well. You already know my position here, now either give me the information or I'll kill you.''

He almost looked amused then as his face returned to its expressionless form of calm as his thumbs began rubbing gentle circles on your bare skin, having just realized his hands had ghosted under your night dress. ''you won't do it darling; you won't kill me because you love me. It takes a very brave and cold woman to do so. I don't think you can, can you? Isn't that why you hesitate? Unless you wish to watch me die and plead for my life, but I'm sorry to disappoint.''

''you don't think I'd do it- that's why your brave but you're a coward, a coward for lying to me'' you cry, trying to ignore the pads of his fingers on your skin.

''you lied to me.''

You took a deep breath and stubbornly look away for a moment. ''I'm tired of listening to you-''

''you gave me your heart willingly, love.. you wish me to hand it back? Whole again?.. but I won't. You'll leave here in agony without me.'' He said with his voice as quiet as the wind coming through the balcony, drapes gently flowing around the room as the air seemed to almost still that every moment at the same time. you were looking at him, unsure of what to do but you knew what you had to. Why couldn't you?

Loki took your silence as a que to keep going as he smiled. ''there is no one but you, there will never be a second that I care for.. except my realm. Thus, you've left me no choice but to combine you both.''

You blink at him. ''what are you talking a-''

''my queen.''

In that very moment, his eyes flashed an almost white- green where your hand became empty before he decided to flip you both. His hips pinned yours and his hands now gripped your wrists that stayed put beside your head. His backline was highlighted by moonlight as he dipped his head to practically stay nose to nose with you. You knew his muscle would delete any attempt to try to escape from this position so why bother try.. you were almost frozen under his gaze practically as you coldly looked up into his.

''your face is like ice darling, what are you thinking?'' he asked, almost amused as you discover he had grown hard at this moment.. in the moment that was most dire, that you had hoped would take every ounce of seriousness. But you have failed.

You turn your face away from his gaze as you kept your hands into fists, feeling how his hands had inched to lace your fingers together but you at least took that away from him. ''what would it matter..''

His eyes became gentle, showing very much just how serious he took you as he kept you in a gentle grip. ''do you think I wanted to love you? Knowing where you came from and what your purpose here was? Don't you think that every moment with each other I was merely thinking that you were just pretending?''

Your eyes shot up to his hurt ''I wasn't- I loved you!''

''and I loved you so much.. I let you pretend. You brought me something I couldn't stand losing. Listen to your heart, how it pounds, what do you want?''

Your body began trembling now, facing the decision of what you wanted and what you thought you needed. He was asking you in presence and you both knew it.. you hadn't loved him, you love him! your lips quivered as you parted them to speak, his patience showing he would wait a thousand years if you needed as your eyes began to tear again. ''I want.. you..''

In that moment, he finally reached over and with a slow, gentle thumb, wiped your tears. ''..then let me love you Y/N, you are mine now..'' he whispered before he closed the distance between you both and kissed you.

And you surrendered. 

[sentientgolfball]

Ghoul Files: Cumulus

Welcome to my little series of ghoul character sheets. The Files are basically little living documents of how I headcanon/characterize each ghoul. I've made one for every ghoul (yes every ghoul) and I'll be slowly uploading them alphabetically by era just for the hell of it.

Find the rest here!

Also pspspsps @holleringhollowfolk its baaaaack

Check out her design here!

Name: Cumulus 

Element: Air

Pronouns: she/her 

Powers: can throw her voice to make it sound like it’s coming from a different direction/all over, use airflow to lift small objects, she can’t fly but if she jumps off a high place she can float down, create gusts of wind, create small clouds. 

Love language (giving): big physical touch person, words of affirmation and acts of service are her go to, though. 

Love language (receiving): gift giving and quality time. She just loves her pack! And she feels so loved when she gets trinkets from them and she gets to be with them! 

Pairings: She’s almost never seen without Cirrus around. Even when the two are with the whole pack. She’s also really close with Sunshine and Aurora and usually goes straight to them if Cirrus isn’t/can’t be around. 

Influential Others: Mountain is someone who helped her a lot when she was first summoned. She was struggling real bad with getting used to life on earth and her role as a band ghoul, but Mount was there, along with Cirrus, to support her. Copia also means a lot to her because he was so gentle and so patient with her and was even willing to go through the trouble of summoning another ghoul if she found she didn’t want the pressure of band life. She loves her earth ghoul and her silly little human more than words could describe. 

Kinds of People Liked: She just loves people! Like literally, she finds humans so fascinating. Though, her favorites are the ones who don’t take life so seriously, those who can just laugh at the mistakes they make. She doesn’t like to get bogged down by constant self deprecation or the bleakest outlook on life. 

Kinds of People Disliked: Generally speaking, there are very few people Cumulus doesn’t like. She tries her best to see the good in everyone! However, if you’re the type to try and take advantage of that constant kindness and patience you may disappear soon. Also people who can’t see past how someone looks. Sorting people into a category based on weird arbitrary societal standards is an immediate turn off. 

Time in the Pits: Cumulus was Cirrus’ mate in the Pits. Because of that she was kind of the co-leader of the flock. In a way. The others respected her and anything she had to say, but it wasn’t like she was going around with orders. Though, she’s had to break up her fair share of fights and chase away scavengers. The only real thing she was in charge of was the hunting pairs. Air ghouls hunt in pairs rather than parties and it was her who organized them. When the light of the summoning took Cirrus she didn’t hesitate to go after her. She didn’t want to know what a life without her was like. Forcing her way through nearly killed her but it was worth it to make sure she didn’t lose her heart. 

Sense of Humor: Puns. She’s going to find a way to make a pun out of even the most obscure things. She also likes to purposefully act like she doesn’t understand memes/uses memes wrong just to watch the others groan. Especially loves to do it to Phantom, Aurora, and Swiss. 

Basic Nature: Cumulus is the most supportive ghoul you’ll meet, though sometimes this does result in chaos. She’s going to encourage every little thing her pack does so she can take so many stupid videos and pictures of them. She’s going to be there for them when they need her. She may also embarrass them subtly but totally on purpose from time to time. She’s just a big affectionate, goofy ghoul. 

Compulsions/Habits: When she’s really stressed she has a bad habit of unconsciously pulling out her feathers. She also needs background noise when she’s working, like she’s tried working on little projects quietly when Cirrus gets migraines and she just has trouble focusing without. 

Fears: The sky with no clouds…it’s too open. Snakes, she’ll puff up her feathers and trill if one gets near her. 

Attitude Towards Own Body: She’s attractive and she knows it. Like she’s not flaunting it unless she’s in a mood…but like she knows she has the goods. This definitely influences the type of clothes she wears when out of uniform. 

Sees Self As: She’s always been the second half of a pair. She’s never been the star of the show and she likes it that way. It makes her life easier. That’s why when people say she’s cool and she’s their favorite or something else along those lines she’s touched. Confused and a little flabbergasted, but touched nonetheless. 

Hobbies: She crotchets. She actually does a lot of crafty stuff. She can knit, sew, crotchet, cross-stitch. She loves making art! She loves that it’s something she can do Topside! Also baking, ghouls have weird sweet teeth and she provides for the pack…mostly to stop them from stealing from the kitchens. 

Pastimes: She likes to go on walks around the Abbey and the surrounding land. She’s only second to Mountain about the layout and the flora and fauna in the forest. She also very much likes hanging out with Aurora and doing makeup, skin care, hair care etc. while telling the day's gossip. There’s a reason why she’s the abbey information broker. She likes to people watch and listen to what goes on. 

Collections: She collects preserved bugs! Out of all the little creatures on earth, she is most fascinated with bugs. She has some framed butterflies, amber scorpions, necklaces, and mounts. Aurora refuses to go in her room unless everything is put away minus the butterflies. 

Reading Materials Preferred: She likes those very obviously fake news magazines. Like how everything is over dramatically talked about is funny to her. 

Most Prized Possession: A quilt she made that is composed of each of her packmates shirts. Everytime they get a new member she goes back and alters it to add them to it. She takes it literally everywhere, she can’t sleep without it. It’s how she keeps them close even when they’re not there. 

Favorite Colors: Baby blue, silver, lavender 

Favorite Foods: Fruits! Oh she loves fruit so much, bring her a little bowl of fruit if you love her. She really likes those fruit, cream, and granola bowls. Her absolute favorite thing though is strawberry shortcake cupcakes. 

General Likes: warm weather, floral perfumes, romcoms, sherpa fabric

General Dislikes: getting dirty, sand, wearing her glasses, beige aesthetics 

Is Seen By Others As: Just as fierce as Cirrus but in a different way. She uses her silver tongue to get what she wants and it’s a little scary but also. It's Cumulus. What are you gonna do say no to her? 

Typical First Impression: Soft and caring and kind and level headed. Just as fluffy as her namesake. 

Morning Routine: She gets up just a bit before Cirrus, going to the kitchen to get her coffee ready before she’s awake. She’ll try to help Swiss and Mountain with making breakfast but she can’t cook for shit, only bake, but she’ll happily hand them ingredients. When she gets tired of that she writes lovely little notes to put in lunch bags or books or guitar cases for the pack to find throughout the day.

Evening Routine: Do not talk to her until she’s had her evening shower. After that she curls up in the common room with the pack writing in her journal while they wait for dinner to be made. Last thing she does before going to sleep is throw on her face mask and put curlers in her hair. 

Strongest Character Trait: Her strongest trait is how easily she can let stuff roll off her. She’s a bit clumsy, she gets so excited in the groupchat that she usually has tons of spelling mistakes, she gets excited when she sees her packmates and runs at them and smothers them not caring who sees. She never cares who sees. She didn’t always love her life Topside, and now that she has learned how to, she’s not wasting anymore time. So what if she types a message that can only be deciphered by Cirrus? It makes the others laugh and she loves it. 

Weakest Character Trait: She can’t keep her mouth shut. I say this with affection, but Cumulus cannot keep quiet when she learns something. Nobody ever tells her when surprises are given out. There’s not necessarily malicious intent, she just gets excited and needs to tell someone before she explodes. The only exception to this seems to be when someone comes to her to vent. Not a word will be spoken to another when she leaves that room. 

Mental/emotional blocks: Even after all this time Lus struggles with feeling like she doesn’t belong. Sure she wasn’t sure if touring was for her in the beginning, but now she couldn’t imagine not doing it. Since she wasn’t originally in the plan she worries one day she’ll be told she’s not needed. That one air ghoul is enough. She was terrified when changes for the Reimperatour began happening. What if she was asked to stay behind just like Aether? 

Chores/other job: Cumulus is a shepherd for the flock of Ministry sheep! She occasionally helps with the cattle, but the sheep are hers. Shearing season is her favorite because she gets to collect all the wool and help spin it into yarn. 

Long Term Goals: She wants to hone her skills with her fiber arts enough to create a tapestry for the Ministry. Even though Copia is Frater now, she’s still worried about the rest of the Clergy's perfectionist tendencies. She is not going anywhere near them until she creates something worth that meeting. 

Present Problems: Honestly, besides her occasional bad day, she doesn’t really have any problems in her life that are so persistent that it heavily impacts her. Though, when she does have those bad days, go check on her with a warm bowl of soup to offer. 

One Line Characterization: Cumulus is a goofy, good natured ghoulette who loves this new life she was given. 

Room description: Cumulus’ room is very neat and orderly. Her bug collection is on full display all over. Honestly besides that and some other small decoration her room doesn’t look lived in. That’s because she usually sleeps in Cirrus’ room. Her assigned room is more like a glorified storage unit than an actual room. She really only uses it when she or Cirrus is sick, she’s spending the night with another ghoul(s) that’s not Cirrus, or when she’s crafting. Her potted ranunculus sits next to Cirrus’ flower in her room. 

Summoning: She clawed her way out of the Pit when Cirrus got surrounded by the light of summoning. She didn’t even hesitate to throw herself into it before it disappeared. When she finally made it Topside she was weak, drained from forcing herself through. She passed out before Cirrus could even say her name. She was very reserved for a very long time until Mountain started slowly introducing her to the inhabitants of the Ministry. She fell in love with humans and learned to fall in love with her new life. 

NSFW

Favorite position: She just likes to be really really close with her partner. She likes to either have them on her lap or her on their lap. 

Dom/sub: Soft dom. Ohhh she is going to take such good care of her partner. She’s going to bend them over and coo softly and praise them the whole time. 

Risk: Ask and you shall receive but it’s not her go to. Besides public sex she fucking loves public sex. 

Kinks: Tit-fucking and nipple play. She just likes her boobs being played with. She’s a little too into cockwarming and edging, she just likes to hear her partner beg just a little bit before taking such good care of them. Humiliation, but not for herself. Loves to watch her partner make a fool of themselves just for her. Blood. She really likes blood. It’s a little concerning how much she likes blood. 

Aftercare: She is going to bundle up and just absolutely shower her partner in praise and kisses. She does keep snacks and water nearby so she doesn’t have to leave if someone gets hungry or thirsty. If any toys are used she does try to clean those immediately before cuddle time though. 

Noise level: She's talkative but not noisy. She's constantly praising and checking in. When she does make noise, it’s very quiet and breathy. 

Surprise: Lus has a massive toy collection. Like bigger than Swiss. She absolutely loves using toys. She will use multiple. She really likes her strapless strap ons though. 

[arminsfavoritepookie]

Sugar daddy Reiner who epitomizes gentility and compassion, an absolute pillar of strength and security to those around him. His authoritative presence commands respect, accentuated by his well-tailored black suit, accentuating his broad and sturdy shoulders.

The sartorial statement screams of raw power, reiterating Reiner’s dominance. With an arm perpetually poised on the small of your back, he shields you from the noise of business dealings, bringing an overwhelming sense of calmness, shielding you from any misfortunes.

Donning a pristine white, thigh-slit dress personally chosen by him, you bask in Reiners enchanting persona, basking in the rays of elegance and sophistication emanating from his commanding persona. Reiner’s golden blonde hair and rough-hewn stubble make him the epitome of manhood, filling your heart with an unparalleled warmth whenever he whispers into your ears, expressing his devotion for you.

Notwithstanding his tenacity, Reiner often feels agitated when around multitudes of people, unease rising from within. The formidable self-doubt pulls him down, leading him to question his adequacy in being with someone of your calibre, someone that the world regards as a paragon of beauty.

As you witness the unanticipated trepidation seeping into his eyes, you realize his deepest fear; the fear of losing you. A sensation of profound gratitude flows through you, filling you with an undeniable sense of satisfaction that you're capable of providing him with the solace and protection he seeks in moments of vulnerability.

The thought of leaving him is unfathomable, and thus you tenderly hold him, imparting him with stability and fortitude, becoming his faithful and steady partner through thick and thin. Reiner’s presence in your life imbues it with unmatched worth, leaving you no room for contemplation of life without him.

Sugar daddy Reiner embodies all that is charming and tender in the bedroom. His gentle caresses, paired with soft, delicate kisses, have you transfixed and yearning for more.

His firm grip, clasping your hand in a tight embrace as you begin to writhe, all the while his visage buried in the soft, supple flesh of your neck, sends shivers down your spine. Your cries of ecstasy, though unbidden, come naturally as he indulges himself, his thick cock plunging ever deeper within you.

Yet, as you writhe and twist under his affectionate ministrations, you cannot help but sense a hesitation. It is as though he holds back, unwilling to truly unleash the full force of his tremendous size upon your form.

Though you are no delicate flower, his robustness intimidates you, and he knows this all too well. With subtle hints, you have tried to coax him into letting go, but to no avail. His responses, each and every time, are a kiss and a whisper, professing his love and his reluctance to ever harm you.

Sugar Daddy Reiner often woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, his body trembling with fear. His dreams were always vivid, haunting him with terrible images and sounds that he couldn't shake off. But the worst part was when he would claw at his own skin, as if trying to escape from some unseen monster, calling out your name in a piteous whimper.

Your heart ached seeing him like that, shattered and broken, and you wished you could take away all his pain.  But you couldn't. Not really. Because there were certain boundaries to your relationship with him; he was nothing more than a sugar daddy to you, not your boyfriend, not your husband.

You knew that his nightmares were a symptom of something deeper, something he wasn't willing to share with you, and it frustrated you to no end. 

Every time you attempted to address the issue of his nightmares, he would push you away, shutting himself off from you and asking you to leave. This was deeply frustrating because you longed for him to take that final step, to offer himself to you wholeheartedly, yet it seemed like he was hesitant to do so.

The emotional distance between the two of you became a source of constant worry, gnawing at you every time you were together.  Although Reiner's constant attention and generous gifts were appreciated, they never felt enough. You craved more than just material possessions, and it seemed like he was simply attempting to make up for the lack of intimacy with his lavish offerings.

Despite his efforts, you knew that this wasn't what you wanted. You wanted the real Reiner, flaws and quirks included, but the impenetrable wall that stood between you two seemed insurmountable. 

Reiner was intuitive enough to notice that something was amiss. He bombarded you with incessant texts and calls, making you anxious and overwhelmed. You knew that avoiding him forever wasn't a solution, so you tried to force yourself to face him every time he asked to see you. But it was always the same routine— the half-hearted touches, the strained smiles, the promises that never materialized, and it only added to your growing frustration.

  Every time you came up with an excuse to decline his invitation, his voice carried an underlying sadness that further fueled your sense of inadequacy. You wanted nothing more than to give him what he asked for, to show him how much he meant to you, but somehow you could never muster up the courage to do it. You remained stuck in a self-imposed trap of disappointment, struggling to find a way out.

Sugar Daddy Reiner was a man who had it all—the money, the power, the influence. But all of it seemed meaningless in the face of losing you, his heart's greatest desire. As he lay awake at night (for the first day without you) , he could feel his heart tearing apart at the thought of you leaving him.

He knew deep down that all you wanted was for him to let down his guard and reveal the man he truly was beneath the polished exterior.  But Reiner was trapped in the grip of his insecurities, unable to break free of the gnawing doubts and incessant anxieties that consumed him. Every time he tried to reach out to you, you always avoided him, leaving him feeling even more isolated and alone.

It was like a vicious cycle, with his fear driving him deeper and deeper into despair.  The more he pushed you away, the more desperate he became to hold onto you. He would try to catch glimpses of you whenever he could, stalking your social media profiles, driving past your apartment building, and sending you messages that he knew you'd take hours to respond.

  It was a frenzied haze of emotion that he found himself caught in—the urge to be close to you, to hold onto you tightly, to never let go. And yet, he felt powerless to stop himself from spiraling out of control.  In a moment of clarity, he found himself walking down the quiet street towards the quaint little cafe where you worked.

He knew that this was his last chance to save what little was left of his shattered heart. He knew that if he could just speak to you, really speak to you, and lay all his cards on the table, he might just be able to salvage something from the wreckage.

Sugar Daddy Reiner, a man of poise and prestige, appeared as if he had been through the wringer. His normally impeccable hair was disheveled and unkempt, resembling a bird's nest perched atop his head.

His eyes, typically radiant with care, now appeared to be exhausted, surrounded by a pair of dark circles that bespoke an underlying burden. It was apparent that something had upended the self-assured and unwavering Reiner, a sight so unfamiliar that it nearly shattered his identity.  

As he approached you, his hands trembled with an unease that seemed palpable, begging for reassurance. His throaty murmur was barely audible over the rustling leaves and soft swish of grass, "Can I talk to you for a moment?" You saw him, then—vulnerable, in pain, his once mighty demeanor wavering in a quiver.

Without a second thought, you grasped his hand, silently reassuring him with your presence and comforting words. The tenseness in his frame slowly began to ease as you tightened your embrace. The closeness between the two of you sparked something more intense than a simple attraction.

  After a moment of shared embrace, Reiner spoke, "Are you done with me?" You could sense the despair lurking behind his question. Your heart wrenched with empathy. Shaking your head vehemently, you could see his grasp on reality starting to fade, fearing the loss of another loved one. You gently spoke,

"No, I am not done with you. I could never be." The declaration eased his trepidation for the moment, but the angst in his eyes was apparent. He spoke again, his hands shaking with uncertainty, "Then why have you been avoiding me?"

   At his inquiry, you swallowed your emotions and thought about how best to answer him. After a deep breath, you expressed, "I want more of you. Not just the physical, but the entire package. I want to know what inspires you, what moves you, your hopes, your dreams." He went silent for a moment, his eyes now glued to the ground, weighed down with heavy contemplation.

Then, he raised his head and spoke in a raspy, earnest voice, "I want more too." He took a deep breath before continuing, his words shaky, "I'll give you anything, anything you want. Just stay with me."

Tears began to trickle down his cheek as he clutched onto your uniform, a wave of anguish over the possibility of losing another. It was an act of vulnerability, rare for a man who was usually impenetrable, but one that showed you how much he genuinely cared for you.

Sugar daddy Reiner who showered you with lavish clothes and all sorts of gifts that night, leaving your heart racing and your hands trembling. The excitement didn't stop there, though, as he whisked you off to his penthouse apartment and proceeded to ravage your body with his rough and unrelenting thrusts, finally letting go all sense of hesitation. 

You moaned and writhed beneath him, unable to resist his masculine charms as he explored every inch of your body. He whispered sweet nothings into your ear, grunting out words of love and affection that left you dizzy with desire.

  When it was over, he held you tightly, unwilling to let you go. You could feel the warmth of his breath on your neck as he whispered promises of forever, his words echoing in your mind as you drifted off to sleep in his strong embrace.

Reiner, who once was just a sugar daddy to you, is now your beloved boyfriend, and you couldn't even imagine a future without him by your side.

[ur-mom-did-69]

My heart is yours

Nika Mühl x Bull Rider

Word count: 974

Hey yall I’m back! Im sorry for taking sorry long work has been extremely busy💀 Anyways here’s part 2!

Watching Alex’s face fall was like watching a heartbreak in real-time. The fire in her girlfriend’s eyes dimmed, replaced with sadness and disbelief. Nika hadn’t intended to hurt her, but the urgency of schoolwork and training was pressing down on her, clouding her judgment. In a moment of selfishness, she had let her words cut deep.

As Alex turned and walked out, her silhouette disappearing as she walked out the door the sound of her truck engine fading into the distance, Nika had watched, frozen in place as the realization hit her like a bucket of cold water. She had driven Alex away with her words. The reality of their relationship hung heavy in the silence, one they had built together now threatening to crumble.

That night, Nika lay in bed, replaying the argument over and over in her mind, each loop echoing her failures. In her heart, she’d known Alex’s bull riding was more than a hobby—it was a passion, a dream, something that, until that moment, she had failed to appreciate. The distance between them felt impossibly wide, the anger fresh but the love underlying it all undeniable.

The next morning Nika woke up with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, only being able to get two hours worth of sleep with the rest of her night being a mixture of her clutching Alex’s favorite hoodie and tossing and turning trying to sleep without the heat and warmth of Alex beside her. Nika immediately checked her phone to see if any new messages or calls had been from the only person who mattered to her when she checked the messages between them only to find that her spam of texts had been left unanswered by Alex.

After sulking in her apartment until noon, she knew what she had to do. She knew that this was her fault. She also knew that she needed to be the one who fixed things between her and Alex. The thought of Alex not forgiving her gnawed at her heart. Sure they had argued before, but it had never escalated to the point of one of them walking out and leaving. Nika sighed as she tried planning out what to do to hopefully make Alex forgive her. Suddenly an idea came to her that was too good for her not to put to use.

With the way Nika drove to Alex’s new farm, a normal person would’ve thought that someone was in the car dying or that the person driving was a self-proclaimed Formula 1 driver. She sped the entire way not letting her car go under 75 on her speedometer. Nika parked beside Alex’s truck and stepped out, taking in the peaceful surroundings. The sounds of nature fluttered around her, but she felt her heartbeat thud loudly in her chest.

Nika found Alex in the barn, tending to the horses, her body moving gracefully as she brushed the silvery mane of a gentle mare. When Alex heard her approach, she turned, her expression softening like an instinct and then hardening as she remembered what Nika had said to her the night before.

“What are you doing here? How’d you find me,” she said, her voice flat, as if bracing for a storm.

“I checked your location,” Nika replied timidly, her heart trembling and eyes teary. “I came to apologize. What I said last night was so uncalled for and out of line from me and I am so sorry, Alex. Please, I really didn’t mean it, baby.”

Alex shook her head, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You said some hurtful things, Nika. I don’t want to keep going through this cycle of arguments and silent treatments. It hurts too much.”

“I know, and I promise to do better,” Nika pleaded, stepping closer, her heart in her throat. “No more belittling what you love. I will make time for us—I don’t want to lose you.”

“Are you just saying what you think I want to hear?” Alex challenged, her vulnerability visible in her posture. “I need to know you mean it.”

“Feelings are complicated. Life is complicated,” Nika answered earnestly. “But I know one thing: I want you in my life, Alex. I want to be here helping out on the farm and have you here supporting me on the court. We can make it work if we communicate. I’ve realized you're more than my girlfriend; you’re my partner in everything. How can we get past this?”

The silence stretched between them, thick with emotion. At last, Alex took a deep breath, her walls slowly crumbling as she stepped closer. “I want that too, Nika. But it’s gonna take time and trust.”

Nika nodded, tears pricking her eyes. “Then let’s take that time together. I’ll prove to you how much you matter, no more distractions. We’re a team.”

With that, Alex reached out, breaking the distance, and took Nika's hand in hers. “Oh, I almost forgot”, Nika said as she ran back to her car coming back with flowers and Alex’s favorite candy. “I had to have a plan B in case this wasn’t enough”, she said sheepishly. Alex grinned as she took the gifts from Nika and gave her a soft kiss as a thank you.

“You know how many stores I had to go to for me to get your candy?”, Nika asked jokingly.

“Let me guess, uh three? Wait no, four! Yeah, four”, Alex responded confidently.

“Wrong. I had a secret stash at home. I had to stop to get the flowers, silly”, Nika said barely containing her laughter and running away.

“Hey, you totally set me up!”, Alex pouted. “That isn’t fair!”, she said chasing Nika.

The warmth of the gesture enveloped them in understanding and hope, as the sun shone down on the farm, illuminating a new chapter they would write together.

So what did y’all think? Also I please feel free to send requests as I’m really new to this so I don’t know how to do a lot but I promise to try💀 I also have some ideas that I might write soon so stay tuned!

[loveyourlovelysoul]

It is believed that the way we see ourself can reflect also in how we think others see and perceive us, and therefore in how we interpret their reactions about us (and from here we also create our need to please them and try to control their feelings for us).

If our self esteem is low and we focus only on what's wrong about us (flaws and all), it's ofc natural for us to believe that others will only notice our wrongs and flaws as well (and we'll notice more and give even more importance to what they say when they criticize us or not give us what we may need -even not with bad intentions-: our brain looks for confirmations about this inner belief, basically that we're not good enough). But we cannot predict how people will act and therefore not even how they will react about us cause it's impossible: we cannot read anyone's mind.

Building up a better relationship with ourself, may help us also in our relationships with others cause: we know our worth and won't make anyone else's (un/intentional) behaviour mean anything about us; wecan love ourself despite whatever happens (cause we know we tried and we're not just our flaws and wrongs); and we know we can survive anything cause we don't depend on others but first and foremost on ourself.

When dealing with others, try to focus less on how you perceive yourself and fear they may perceive you (notice your flaws, imperfections, judge you...) and try to enjoy more and show more of yourself. In particular if your insecurities are about your look. People see of us only what we let them see of us, so don't block yourself cause of your fears, let them experience more of you, show your fun side, your gentle side, your caring side... just be yourself without letting your worries change who you are or get too insecure. Let people decide how they perceive you based on exactly what you think (don't wear masks to please them): you cannot control their feelings ever (as they cannot control yours: and I guess you like to be free to think what you want, right?). And btw, it's not that you're any less if someone doesn't appreciate you: we cannot like everything and everyone anyway. Find those that appreciate you, keep trying, be open.

(me + source)