#someone who refuses to sacrifice anything for anyone else

[rvspecter]

the thing that kills me about harvey is how much mike’s opinion of him matters to him

literally the one time mike calls him a good man he’s moved to tears

it’s actually so pathetic

[red-dyed-sarumane]

i like to think apoptosis tries to lie to tenshi but tenshi cares too much & has figured her out pretty well & can see through most of it. i dont have much to support this beyond the fact theyre clearly heavily tied together across their songs.

[luna-azzurra]

Good Traits Gone Bad

Empathy turning into manipulation

Imagine a character who is deeply empathetic, someone who genuinely feels and understands the emotions of others. At first, this makes them incredibly compassionate and kind, always there to lend an ear or offer comfort. But over time, this empathy begins to shift. Instead of just understanding how others feel, they start to use that understanding to manipulate those around them. They know exactly what to say to get people to do what they want, twisting their caring nature into a tool for control. What once was a beautiful gift becomes a weapon, used to bend others to their will without them even realizing it.

Confidence becoming arrogance

Think of someone who exudes confidence—someone who knows their worth and isn’t afraid to go after what they want. This kind of self-assuredness is magnetic and inspiring, drawing people in. But sometimes, this confidence can grow into something darker. The character starts to believe they’re always right, that their way is the best and only way. They dismiss others’ ideas and opinions, thinking they know better than everyone else. What was once a healthy self-esteem turns into arrogance, pushing people away as they start to feel belittled and unappreciated.

Ambition turning into obsession

Picture a character who is ambitious and driven, always striving for the next big achievement. Their dedication is admirable, pushing them to work hard and aim high. But ambition can have a dark side, too. Slowly, their drive becomes an obsession. They start to focus solely on their goals, willing to sacrifice anything or anyone who stands in their way. Friends, family, and even their own health fall by the wayside as they chase success at any cost. What was once an admirable quality turns destructive, consuming them completely.

Loyalty becoming blind devotion

Loyalty is such a beautiful trait. A loyal character is dependable, someone who stands by the people they care about no matter what. But loyalty can also become dangerous if it goes too far. This character might start to overlook red flags or harmful behaviors, sticking by someone or something even when it’s clearly detrimental. They become so blindly devoted that they lose sight of their own well-being and moral compass. What starts as a positive trait turns into a kind of self-destructive stubbornness, harming them more than helping.

Courage turning into recklessness

Imagine someone who’s incredibly brave, always ready to face challenges head-on and stand up for what they believe in. At first, this courage is inspiring, giving them the strength to overcome obstacles and help others. But sometimes, courage can cross a line. It turns into recklessness, making them take unnecessary risks without considering the consequences. They start to believe they’re invincible, putting themselves and others in danger because they’re too focused on proving their bravery. What was once a powerful strength becomes a dangerous flaw.

Determination becoming stubbornness

There’s something admirable about a character who never gives up, no matter how tough things get. Their determination helps them push through difficulties and keep going when others might quit. But when that determination turns into stubbornness, it’s a different story. They refuse to change their minds, even when all the signs point to a different path. They ignore advice, dismiss alternative viewpoints, and stick to their course out of sheer willpower, even when it’s clearly not working. Their once-praiseworthy persistence becomes a source of frustration for those around them.

Optimism becoming naivety

Someone who always looks on the bright side, no matter what. Their optimism is contagious, lifting the spirits of those around them and helping them see the silver lining in every situation. But if they aren’t careful, this optimism can morph into naivety. They might start ignoring real dangers or fail to recognize when they’re being taken advantage of. Their rosy outlook makes them blind to harsh realities, and they become easily deceived or led astray, all because they’re so focused on seeing the good in everything and everyone.

Protectiveness turning into possessiveness

A character who is naturally protective of their loved ones, always looking out for them and ensuring they’re safe and happy. This protectiveness is heartwarming and makes those around them feel cherished. But when protectiveness goes too far, it can become possessiveness. The character starts to feel like they own the people they care about, becoming overly controlling and jealous. They start dictating others' actions, justifying it as care, but it’s really about their need to keep everything under their control. What started as a caring instinct turns into something suffocating and unhealthy.

Altruism becoming self-neglect

Think about a character who is incredibly selfless, always putting others' needs before their own. They’re the kind of person who would give you the shirt off their back, always ready to help, always there for everyone. But this selflessness can go too far. It turns into self-neglect, where they completely disregard their own needs and well-being. They keep giving and giving until they have nothing left, leading to burnout and exhaustion. Their altruism, while beautiful, ends up harming them because they don’t know how to set boundaries or take care of themselves.

Honesty becoming brutal bluntness

There’s a lot to be said for a character who is straightforward and honest, someone who tells it like it is and doesn’t sugarcoat the truth. People appreciate their transparency and trustworthiness. But when honesty turns into brutal bluntness, it’s no longer a positive trait. This character starts to disregard others' feelings, using their honesty as an excuse to be harsh and tactless. Their words cut deep, hurting those around them, all in the name of being truthful. What was once refreshing candor becomes a source of pain, as they lose sight of the importance of kindness in communication.

[bhaalble]

I like that Last Unicorn quote as much as the next guy but I do always wind up feeling a little detached from analysis that paints Astarion's disapproval as purely envy. Partly because. No one's doing this for Lae'zel for instance even though she has similar disapproval and similar trauma (all she can remember is a hostile physically and emotionally exploitative environment which expected perfect strength and obedience from her or else she would be punished or killed). But also partly because it feels pretty detached from everything he actually has to say about it.

The thing about Astarion is he loathes weakness. He loathes sentiment and he loathes dependence. You can see this when he actually opens his mouth up about the people he disapproves of saving, but also incredibly loudly when he talks about the other companions, as well as his fellow spawn. If Lae'zel submits to Vlaakith he talks scornfully about how some people just come to love their chains. He's confused and put off if Wyll submits to Mizora to save his father. In every conversation with his fellow spawn (at least when hes not actively manipulating them) he's dismissive and harsh, and clearly he's perfectly willing to sacrifice them for the sake of himself.

There's an obvious origin point of those feelings, of course. Cazador's abuse is designed to actively kill off empathy in his spawn, both towards each other and towards victims. The last time Astarion prioritized someone over his own skin he got locked in a tomb for a year. We can see glimpses of it with the other spawn too, how his siblings are (apparently uncompelled at first) willing to drag Astarion back to their master for their freedom, how Petras' first dream of freedom is getting to drain another person dry. Astarion certainly doesn't seem to feel any real sense of solidarity with them, likely because Cazador understands that them building a community is a threat to his authority the way it was to his own master.

I'd also argue its Astarion projecting his own self-loathing outwards. So much of his quest is about his desperate attempt to escape from who he was. He's been given a chance to slip free of the limitations of being a spawn. He clings to that because of course he would. He also instinctively begins to run over everything in his path, because if there's anything he has learned over the past 200 years its that good things can always be taken away unless you make sure to remove any and all possible threats to that scrap of well-being. He's disdainful of people in need of help because they represent who he fears to go back to being! He calls his siblings "poor fools" while refusing to confront the fact that had it not been for the tadpole he would be in exactly their position, forced to cling to the hope that Cazador is telling the truth for once because escape isn't an option either way. He becomes irritated when Tav slows down to help the unfortunate because they represent roadblocks on his own path to safety.

There's an idea in mental health stolen from airplane safety: that you shouldn't help anyone else until your own mask is secure. What they don't tell you, speaking from personal experience at least, is that PTSD, especially for long term trauma, has a way of making you feel like your own mask will never be secure. And while that's scary, and it sucks, and there should be the utmost patience for it: no one is going to realize that mask is secure for you. Eventually you are going to have to accept the fact that you are breathing just fine. Eventually you are also going to have to accept that people asking something of you isn't them endangering you, even if it can sometimes (often) feel like it. It doesn't make you obligated to help them. But it does mean you have to stop reacting to them like a threat, because not 5 minutes ago that was you.

I think the idea that he's only mad because he's jealous is a gratifying fantasy. He didnt feel safe before, but now through your PC and the power of love he'll feel warm and cozy enough to forgive you for not being there to begin with. But I also think Astarion cannot live in a reality where he's never pushed back on. His instinctive self-protective movements are a coping mechanism, yes, but coping mechanisms developed under survival conditions can also be a way of keeping you frozen in your trauma. Outside of the environment they were necessary for, they can even hinder you from growing in the ways you need to grow to move past what happened to you. Sometimes, you need to stop a baby tiefling from getting crazy murdered by a snake because it turns out. That can happen to anybody not just people who are weak and stupid and deserve to die anyways not like me I'm normal-

[gojoluvs]

Secret & Sacrifices

Toji zenin x reader

summary, "Y/N, a famous actress, fell in love with Toji, a regular civilian who works as a mechanic. They had a baby together, but Toji ended up breaking up with her because he wanted her to live her life to the fullest and was tired of keeping their relationship a secret. Years later, Y/N is engaged to someone else, but she still loves Toji, who now has a new girlfriend. Despite their past, their love for each other remains.”

Tags; Toji x reader, Actress au, Actress x Mechanic, Lovers to Strangers, Hollywood, Celebrity, Parenting, Romance, Drama, Heartbreak, Reconciliation, Fame, Secret Relationship, Working Class, Taboo, Sacrifice.

Warnings; 18+, fluff, angst, smut, actress au, partying, drinking/alcohol, drug usage, romance, jealousy, cursingz

Notes: the tag-list is open! also sorry for any spelling erors too lazy to proof read…

WC; 7k words!

You had everything you could ever want in life.

A successful career as an actress, a beautiful child, and a loving boyfriend, Toji Zenin. He was the one who made you feel like a normal person, treating you with kindness and respect.

He was your pride and joy, the man who swept you off your feet and gave you the most precious gift of all - a child. Despite your parents' disapproval of your relationship, you never let that affect your love for Toji. He was the man of your dreams, the mechanic who came to your rescue when your car broke down one night. It was love at first sight, with his tall and muscular frame and that alluring scar on his face.

This man was the love of your life. The mechanic who you met when your car broke down in the middle of the night. No other cars were passing by except his and he had the courtesy to stop by and help you fix it. When he first came out of the car you were star struck. His tall and well built frame catching your attention and that immaculate scar of his.

The man who came to fix your car in the pouring rain was not only kind and nice, but also considerate. Despite being drenched himself, he made sure you didn't get wet and even told you to wait in your car while he worked. You were skeptical of the idea of love at first sight, but when you saw him, you knew it was real. He was handsome and had a charming smile that instantly caught your attention.

He recognized you immediately, as anyone would. After all, you were the famous face of Japan in the acting world. He spent hours working on your car, determined to fix it without charging you anything. You insisted on at least buying him a drink or paying him for his time and effort in the cold rain.

He refused to charge you anything for his services, but you insisted on buying him a drink or at least paying him for his time and effort. He kindly declined your offer and simply smiled before leaving in his own car.

Days went by, even years went by and you still hadn’t found out who he was. You were 23 when it happened and now you were 25. Sitting down in the park you read your book, sunglasses pinched between your nose and a black hat on top of your head.

These days were your quiet days, the days you could sneak out and sit in the park. Watching kids play and families have a day out with their kids. You drank your water, watching people run past you or jog with their dog. Smiling, you were grateful for this time to relax and escape the hustle and bustle of your busy life as a famous actress.

Suddenly, a dog came bounding towards you, its tail wagging excitedly. It jumped up on you, licking your face and wagging its tail even more. You couldn't help but laugh as you petted the friendly dog. Just then, the owner came over, apologizing for his dog's behavior.

"Ah, excuse me, is this your dog?" you ask as the friendly golden retriever jumps up and licks your face. You wipe the slobber off and look up to see the owner, a man with kind eyes and a familiar face. Suddenly, it hits you, this is the guy who helped you with your car two years ago.

"Oh my gosh, it's you!" you exclaim, standing up and removing your sunglasses. "I can't believe it, I've been wanting to thank you for so long. You really saved me that day."

The man's face lights up with recognition. "Yes, I remember now. You're that famous actress, aren't you? The one who was stranded on the side of the road?"

You nod, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Yes, that's me. And you're the kind stranger who helped me. I never got the chance to properly thank you."

The man bows his head in respect. "It was nothing, really. I'm just glad I could be of assistance."

You smile, grateful for this chance encounter. "Well, I would love to repay you somehow. Can I buy you a coffee or a drink sometime? I'd love to catch up and get to know you better."

The man hesitates for a moment before giving in. "Sure, that would be nice. Here, let me give you my number."

As he scribbles down his number on a piece of paper, you can't help but feel excited for the possibility of a new connection. Who knew that a simple act of kindness years ago would lead to this moment? You thank him and promise to reach out soon before he bids you farewell and walks away.

You had gone out for drinks with him, catching up after not seeing each other for a while. As the night went on, you found out that he had recently broken up with his girlfriend. Despite the heartbreak, he still maintained his belief in kindness and treated you with nothing but genuine care and generosity, not even charging you for any of the drinks.

As you talked, you couldn't help but admire his posture and the way he spoke. You couldn't deny the attraction you felt towards him, especially when he wore that black button-up shirt with a few buttons undone, revealing his toned chest.

The club you were in was one of the hottest spots in town, filled with A-list celebrities and no paparazzi in sight. Feeling bold, you decided to flirt with him and he reciprocated, flashing his charming smile and cracking jokes that made you even more intrigued by him.

As the night went on and a few more drinks were consumed, he placed his hand on your thigh and complimented how stunning you looked in that tight red dress. Your cheeks were flushed with a rosy hue, and his were as well, both of you feeling a bit buzzed but still aware of the intense chemistry between you. It was clear that you both wanted the same thing - each other.

Before you knew it you were walking hand in hand through the city streets, the anticipation and excitement grew between you and your mystery man. You couldn't wait to get back to their apartment, knowing that this was going to be a night to remember.

His hands were exploring every inch of your body, sending shivers down your spine. You couldn't resist the intense desire you felt for him, and you were desperate for him to take you.

As you stumbled into his bedroom, he asked for your consent, making sure you were comfortable with every move he made. But you were beyond caring about anything else but him. You gave him permission to do anything and everything he wanted with you.

He wasted no time in fulfilling your desires. His lips trailed down your neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses and gentle bites. Your moans filled the room as he moved lower, his hands exploring every curve and dip of your body. As he reached your core, he teased you with his tongue, making you squirm with pleasure.

You couldn't hold back any longer and you begged him to take you. With a smirk on his face, he entered you, filling you with pleasure and ecstasy. The two of you moved in perfect rhythm, lost in each other's touch and moans.

After that day, you both couldn't get enough of each other. Every day, he would come to your house after you finished work, his hands clutching a bouquet of beautiful flowers and a box of chocolates. You could see the excitement in his eyes as he saw you waiting by the door, smiling and inviting him in. As he entered, he would throw the flowers down on the counter and practically pull you into his arms. You could feel his strong hands squeezing your ass, his touch sending shivers down your spine.

The soft skin of your ass was no match for his strong grip, and you couldn't help but moan as he devoured you with his kisses. It was like a ritual, but one that you never got tired of. His disheveled hair, evidence of a long day at his shop, only added to his charm as he rushed to see you. You were his drug, something he couldn't keep his hands off of. And you were more than happy to let him have his way with you, losing yourself in the moment as he fucked you numb.

You couldn't believe how much your sex life had improved in the past few months. It was like every time you were together, a new position was unlocked, as if you were collecting new ways for him to pleasure you. And he was an expert, his hands always finding new ways to make you moan and writhe in pleasure. Whether it was squeezing and fondling your breasts or using his long, skilled fingers to fuck you senseless, he knew exactly how to make you scream his name.

But it wasn't just about the amazing sex. You two also went on dates constantly, whether they were small and private or extravagant celebrity parties. You loved showing him off to all of your friends, feeling proud to have such a handsome and charming boyfriend by your side. And everywhere you went, people couldn't help but stare and admire the two of you together.

Life was good, and you couldn't imagine being with anyone else. This was your perfect relationship and you were living your best life with your amazing boyfriend.

The two of you had been in a loving relationship for a year now, and the idea of starting a family together had been on your minds for quite some time. After much discussion, you both felt that the timing was right and decided to have a child together. You even took a break from your busy filming schedule to fully focus on this new chapter of your lives.

You remember spending countless days tracking your ovulation and planning out the perfect time to try for a baby. And eventually, all of the hard work paid off and you were blessed with a beautiful baby boy, Megumi. The joy and love you felt in that moment was indescribable.

Toji was by your side the entire time, never leaving your side as you went through the labor pains. He held your hand tightly, tears in his eyes as he shared in your pain and wanted to take it away from you. He was your rock, constantly reassuring you that you were doing an amazing job and that he was there for you every step of the way.

As you pushed and struggled to bring your baby boy into the world, Toji never left your side. He kissed your forehead, stroked your hair, and whispered words of encouragement and love. And when you finally heard your baby's first cries, tears of joy streamed down both of your faces as you held each other and your newborn son. It was a moment that you would never forget, and one that only strengthened the love between you and Toji.

Crying as he heard the babys cries and watching as you sighed in relief. Staying with you the whole time as the doctors took your baby to clean him up.

“Mm so tired,” You said whispering, you felt pain all over you and your body was sweating profusely. You were in the verge of dying and the doctors immediately took you to the emergency room. Watching as your boyfriend held your child and had tears brimming in his eyes as you were rolled away in the bed.

When you brought your child home it was like a dream, Toji by your side and a beautiful baby boy aswell. People knew about your baby but not about the father. You wanted Toji to have privacy and not get harassed by paparazzi.

You spent your days in bed cuddled up with your boyfriend and your baby. He would always take care of him, changing his diaper and feeding him the breast milk you froze prior. He would cook for you, even thought all he knew what to cook was soup or making a simple sandwich.

He was the one taking care of you, making sure you got everything you needed. Extra blankets, medicine and helping you shower. The first time he saw you, you were terrified. Scared that he wasn't going to find you attractive since you just had given birth.

He treated you with kindness, taking days off work when you were feeling sick. He was like an angel sent just for you.

Monday picnic days were your favorite, going out in the park with your boyfriend and baby. Megumi cooing on your leg as you ate the sand while prepared hy Toji. His arm was wrapped around your waist, peppering kisses around your face.

As you spread out the blanket in the park, you couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment. The warm sun was shining down on you, the birds were chirping, and your boyfriend Toji was setting up the picnic basket. You laughed as Megumi excitedly crawled towards the basket, trying to grab a sandwich before it was even unpacked.

"You're just like your momma, always hungry," Toji joked, ruffling Megumi's hair as he handed him a sandwich. You smiled at the sight of your two favorite boys, a perfect day for a picnic.

As you sat down to eat, Toji wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you in for a kiss. "I love you," he whispered against your lips.

"I love you too," you replied, your heart swelling with love for your little family. As you took turns feeding Megumi and sneaking bites of food for yourselves, you couldn't help but feel grateful for these simple moments.

"Hey, let's take a family photo," Toji exclaimed, pulling out his phone. You all huddled together, making silly faces and capturing the joy of the moment. As you looked at the photo, you couldn't help but feel grateful for these Monday picnic days. All of you, Toji, Megumi, and yourself, were smiling and laughing, enjoying each other's company.

Little did you know, paparazzi were lurking nearby. They snapped pictures of your little family, capturing the love and happiness that radiated from all of you. But these photos would later be used in an article that would ruin your relationship with Toji.

Life was good until that article was released. You had just come home from an award ceremony, feeling proud and accomplished. As you placed your bag down and kicked off your heels, you walked over to your baby's crib. You checked on Megumi, watching him sleep soundly. He was the one good thing that came out of this relationship with Toji.

But lately, things had been tough. You were constantly fighting, and you were tired of it. It seemed like every time you made plans to go out or have a date night, something would come up and you would have to cancel. Toji was tired too, the baby was stressing him out, and not having his girlfriend by his side was making it worse. It seemed like the paparazzi were the only ones benefiting from your relationship.

Your friends had been asking why your boyfriend hadn't proposed yet, even though you had been together for two years and had a child together. But the truth was, your relationship was struggling. Work had been overwhelming, with the stress of balancing your job and being a new mom. Your maternity leave had caused your contracts to pile up, adding even more pressure to your already hectic schedule.

You rarely had time to see your baby and Toji, let alone spend quality time with your partner. And when you did come home, you would often find him already in bed, your son sound asleep. His once playful and loving demeanor had turned distant and cold, his eye bags getting worse from the lack of sleep. And to make matters worse, you hadn't been intimate at all, adding to the growing divide between you two. It was hard to accept, but it seemed that having a child had caused problems in your relationship with your boyfriend.

The final straw for Toji was the day he saw you on TV, snuggled up with Megumi while the baby slept peacefully on his chest. His hand instinctively went behind his head as he reached for the remote, turning up the volume to watch your speech as you accepted the award for best actress of the year. You were stunning in a white silk dress, no doubt from a high-end designer. A wide smile graced your face as you thanked everyone, including your family and your "Babyboy" Megumi.

But Toji couldn't help but feel a twinge of hurt as you failed to mention him. It wasn't because you didn't care, but because he had asked you not to. He didn't want the world to know that he, a simple mechanic, was dating the most famous actress in Japan. He didn't want you to be judged or ridiculed for being with someone of lower status. As he watched you on TV, he couldn't help but wonder if he had made the right decision in keeping your relationship a secret. But in that moment, he couldn't deny the love he felt for you, even if it meant sacrificing his own pride and happiness.

And as he watched the tall, white-haired man wrap his arm around your waist and hug you tightly, Toji could feel a twinge of jealousy and anger bubbling up inside him.

He recognized that man all too well - the asshole actor who had come to Toji's mechanical shop and demanded a refund for his car's motor, claiming that Toji's work was subpar. And now, he was your co-star in a romance movie, which made Toji's blood boil even more. He hated the idea of you filming intimate scenes with someone else, even if it was all just acting.

But what angered Toji the most was the fact that the public saw you and Satoru as the "It" couple, even though you weren't even dating. The movie had made millions, and the audience was convinced that you and Satoru were the perfect couple, solely based on your on-screen chemistry. It was ridiculous and infuriating to Toji, who knew that no one could ever come close to loving you as much as he did.

So yes, Toji was fucking jealous. Toji knew that Satoru was a successful and well-known actor, and he couldn't help but feel inferior in comparison. He looked down at his son, Megumi, and thought about how different their lives would be. Megumi would grow up with a celebrity mother and most likely follow in her footsteps, while Toji would always be just a small mechanic working on cars.

But it wasn't just jealousy that consumed Toji's thoughts. He also felt guilty for feeling this way. He knew that you deserved to live your best life and be with someone who could offer you more than he could. You were a beautiful and ethereal actress, loved by fans all over the world, and he was just a simple mechanic. As he watched you on TV, he couldn't help but admire your talent and grace, knowing that he could never be like that.

But as much as it pained him, Toji knew that he had to let go of you. He couldn't keep holding onto the hope that one day you would choose him over someone like Satoru. He knew that you deserved someone who could give you the world, and he couldn't be that person. So with a heavy heart, Toji came to terms with the fact that he had to let you go, even though it broke his heart to do so.

As you walked up the driveway, your heels clicked against the pavement, the sound echoing off the nearby houses.

You couldn't help but feel your heart beating a little faster as you held the hand of your fiancée, Satoru Gojo. You were both carrying a handful of gifts for your son's 3rd birthday, your first time back at your ex's house since your split 2 years ago.

You were dressed casually in jeans and a tight black top, but your fiancée looked effortlessly stylish in a white polo and jeans, with a Versace belt adorning his waist. As you approached the front door, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. You knew that this meeting was important, not just for your son, but also for your ex-boyfriend, Toji.

Satoru was the perfect partner, always treating you with love and affection. He would surprise you with thoughtful gifts and take you out on romantic dates consistently, making you feel loved and appreciated. When he proposed, you were overjoyed and eagerly said yes, excited to spend the rest of your life with him.

However, as time went on, you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy and sadness whenever your son mentioned his father's new girlfriend. You tried to push these feelings aside, but they only seemed to grow stronger with each passing day. Maybe it was because she was just a regular person, working at a flower boutique across from Toji's mechanical shop. You couldn't help but compare yourself to her and wonder if she was better suited for Toji.

You decided to do some digging, wanting to know more about this woman who would now be a part of your son's life. But to your surprise, you couldn't find anything negative about her. In fact, she seemed like a genuinely kind and caring person. She spent her free time volunteering at charity events, using her earnings to donate to various organizations. You couldn't help but feel a sense of admiration for her, and maybe even a bit of guilt for feeling jealous in the first place.

Walking into the house that was once yours and Toji’s, the house were you raised your son until he turned one and a half years old. You felt tears brimming as you continued to walk into the house, passing by the picture frames, pictures of only your son and Toji. Your face no where to be found at the home were you used to wake up every morning, your son and boyfriend cuddled up with you.

The house that was your only source of peace and freedom. The house were you weren’t judged from. Now that you were engaged to Satoru you couldnt help but wonder what it wouldve been like, to be engaged to the father of your son Toji.

You immediately noticed the changes in the house. The once familiar couches and rug were gone, replaced by new, modern furniture. The house that used to bring you comfort now felt foreign and unfamiliar, much like your relationship with Toji.

As you made your way to the backyard, you saw everyone seated at different tables, chatting and enjoying the food that Toji's new girlfriend had cooked. Your heart sank as you realized that you were no longer a part of this family gathering. But then you saw your son, your beautiful baby boy, running towards you with a big smile on his face.

"Mommy!" he exclaimed, his arms open wide for a hug. You couldn't help but smile as you bent down to embrace him, feeling his little arms wrap around your neck. He was getting taller and it pained you to know that you were missing out on so much of his life. Toji had taken custody of him, claiming that you were too busy to raise him, and it broke your heart.

"Hi my love," you whispered as you lifted him up, his head resting on your shoulder. Satoru, Toji's brother, stood next to you and gently patted your son's head before going to place the gifts on the table. As you looked around at the happy faces of your former family, you couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness and longing for what used to be.

You walked with your son, feeling but feel a pang of sadness and nostalgia as you saw Toji's back facing you. He had his arm around his new girlfriend's waist, the sun casting a warm glow on both of them. You couldn't deny that they looked good together, with their matching black short hair and easy smiles.

It had been months since you last saw Toji, and while he still looked the same, there was something different about him. He didn't have that same look on his face that he used to have when he was with you, the one that made your heart skip a beat. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy as Toji's girlfriend turned to face you with a bright smile.

"Hello! Nice to finally meet you," she said, extending her hand towards you. You hesitated for a moment, staring at her in disbelief. Taking her hand, you shook it firmly before responding,

"Hello, I'm Y/N. And you are?" Your gaze then shifted to Toji as he turned around, his smile never faltering as he introduced her

“This is Saori, my girlfriend.” He smiled at her before looking back st you watching as your gaze turned to something else not wanting to watch your ex boyfriend be all happy about his new girlfriend.

She was absolutely stunning. You couldn't help but admire her, even though you wanted to hate her for being with your ex. As Toji smiled at her and then at you, you couldn't help but look away, not wanting to see him so happy with someone else.

But as you stole glances at Saori, you couldn't help but notice how she seemed to light up the room. She was wearing a beautiful yellow sundress, adorned with delicate flowers, and it suited her perfectly. Her hair was styled in a cute and carefree way, showing off her flawless facial features.

You wanted to say something, anything, but your words were stuck in your throat. Your fiancé, Satoru, wrapped his arms around you possessively, a smirk on his face as he looked at Toji. "So this is the father of my step-son," he said, his tone slightly mocking. You could feel Toji's eyes on your hand as Satoru interlocked his fingers with yours, rubbing his thumb over your hand.

You stood there, watching your ex with his new girlfriend, you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. But at the same time, you couldn't deny the fact that Saori was absolutely beautiful and seemed genuinely kind. You couldn't bring yourself to hate her, even though you wanted to.

Toji didnt know why he hated seeing you with him, maybe it was because he called it, he knew this was going to happened or simply because deep down he knew saori could never be you.

You smiled at them and excused yourself walking towards the table where all your friends sat. Satoru followed you like a lost puppy, not knowing anyone who came to the party besides his soon to be step son

Toji was so fucking jealous and he didn’t know why. Maybe it was because he had always called it, predicting that this would happen, or maybe it was because deep down he knew Saori could never be you.

Making your way to the table where your friends sat, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. They were your closest companions from acting school and they always knew how to make you feel better.

"Y/N!" Utahime practically jumped on you, squeezing you so tightly that you felt like you couldn't breathe. She was your pride and joy, your best friend who you had met during acting school. Despite the awkwardness of the situation with Toji and Saori, being with your friends made you feel at ease.

You smiled warmly at your friend, Utahime, she was beaming with excitement as she saw you, and you knew it was because of the news you were about to share. You motioned for your fiancé, Satoru, to come over and he smiled back at you before making his way to your side.

Utahime gave him a quick once-over before her eyes landed on your left hand. "Not let me see that ring!" she exclaimed, giggling as you held out your hand to show off the stunning engagement ring that Satoru had chosen for you.

As Utahime oohed and aahed over the ring, you couldn't help but feel a sense of happiness and contentment wash over you. Satoru was the love of your life, and you were grateful to have him by your side. He placed his hand on your back and pulled you closer, kissing the top of your head affectionately.

Utahime's expression turned serious as she looked at Satoru. "I swear, Satoru, if you ever hurt her-" she started, but he cut her off with a laugh.

"I would never do that to her," he reassured her, his eyes filled with love as he looked at you. "She's the love of my life." You playfully hit his arm, scrunching your nose at him before leaning into his side.

From afar, the heartbroken man watched as you and your fiancee stood together, admiring each other with love and happiness. He couldn't help but feel a sense of longing and pain as he saw you both, knowing that he could have had that kind of love with you.

Toji gazed at you, remembering the days when he would come home from work and see you with your newborn son. He would watch as you read a book for new moms, taking in every moment with your child. He could still hear your laughter and see your smile as you cuddled with your son, a sense of warmth and contentment radiating from you.

His mind then drifted to the times when you would surprise him with his favorite chocolate chip pancakes, your laughter filling the room as he devoured them with delight. Your joy and love were infectious, and he couldn't help but feel grateful to have you in his life well at least before he ruined everything.

But now, as he stood there, he could hear your laughter once again, but this time it was directed towards your fiancee. Saori handed a piece of cake to your son, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

Saori's eyes followed Toji's gaze until they landed on you, the woman he still loved. She couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy and insecurity as she watched the way he looked at you. It was obvious that he still had strong feelings for you, despite their relationship.

She had always known about your past with Toji, but she never brought it up. It was like the word "love" was forbidden in her household. From the moment she met Toji, she could tell he was kind and sweet, and he still was to this day. But lately, she had noticed a change in his behavior. Maybe it was because of the announcement of your engagement that made him realize he was truly losing you.

She watched as Toji's gaze lingered on you, his eyes filled with longing and regret. And for a brief moment, he caught your gaze and the intensity of his stare made Saori feel like she was intruding on a private moment between the two of you. You glanced at him for a split second before looking back at your fiancée

His heart skipped a beat, a feeling that he had almost forgotten. It was a feeling he used to get when he saw you, and now, inexplicably, it was happening again. As you stood in front of him, he couldn't help but notice the softness in your eyes for a split second. It was a look he had not seen in a long time, a look that gave him hope that maybe, just maybe, you still loved him.

But he knew he couldn't hold onto that hope. He had made his choice when he let you go, and now he had to live with the consequences. As he walked into the house, his footsteps echoed in the empty hallway. It was the same hallway he used to walk down with you, hand in hand, laughing and talking about your future together.

Stopping himself, he placed a hand on his face, trying to push away the memories that were flooding back. He had to stop thinking about you and let you go. He had moved on, started a new relationship with Saori, someone who brought happiness back into his life after he broke up with you.

But deep down, he knew that he would always have a special place in his heart for you. You were his biggest regret, the one that got away. He regretted letting you slip out of his grasp, and now he was left with only memories of what could have been.

Walking into the kitchen, he opened the fridge and grabbed a glass bottle of beer. Popping the cap open, he took a sip of the sour liquor. It was a taste that he associated with you, as it was your favorite drink. He couldn't help but think about how much he missed you, how he would wake up in the middle of the night wishing the one he slept with was you and not Saori.

But he knew he couldn't turn back time. He had made his choice, and now he had to live with it. He took another sip of the beer, trying to drown out the thoughts and memories of you that were constantly haunting him. He had to let you go, for his own sake and for yours. It was time to move on and accept that you were no longer a part of his life.

Placing his half-empty beer down onto the cool marble of the kitchen cabinet, he couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. His motivation was slipping, and he knew it. He hadn't been working as hard as he used to, and it was starting to show. The only thing that still drove him to push harder was you. The thought of coming home earlier and seeing your beautiful face was the one thing that kept him going.

He was lost in his thoughts when he heard the loud stomps of heels approaching him. As he turned to see your body charging towards him, he couldn't help but feel confused. That confusion quickly turned to surprise as you slammed a piece of cake down on the countertop in front of him.

You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow at him, your eyes locking onto the beer in his hand. "Really, Toji?" you scoffed, "Are you letting your fucking girlfriend feed my child cake now?" Your tone was accusatory, and he couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. But as he looked at you, he couldn't deny how fucking beautiful you looked in that moment. Despite being upset with him, he couldn't help but admire the way the light caught your features and the fire in your eyes.

"It's cake?" he asked, a glint of confusion his eye. You rolled your eyes, knowing exactly where this was going.

"Sato-," you began, but stopped yourself before saying his name. "Toji," you corrected, your arms falling to your sides. "You know how Megumi gets if he eats too much sugar," you reminded him.

Toji's heart broke when he heard you refer to your fiancée instead of him. "Did you just say his name?" he asked, trying to cover up the pain with a chuckle. A small grin curled onto his face, but the hurt in his eyes was hard to miss. "Didn't know you two were fighting so much," he teased, trying to lighten the mood.

But you weren't in the mood for jokes. You scoffed and shook your head, "Believe what you want, Toji. But please tell your girlfriend to not give my son sugar unless I say it's okay," you said, your voice firm. You couldn't help but give him a once-over, taking in his figure with a mixture of longing and sadness. Then, without another word, you turned to leave.

But before you could take another step, you stopped in your tracks. You turned back to face Toji, wanting to say one last thing. "And you should really stop drinking," you said, your voice softer now. "I don't want Megumi to have an alcoholic father, like I did," you confessed, before turning and walking away, leaving Toji alone with his thoughts and regrets.

He walked out back to the party, the sounds of laughter and music filling the air. As he made his way through the crowd, he couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness inside. But then, he saw his son running towards him with a big smile on his face, and he couldn't help but feel a spark of joy. As he knelt down to hug his son, he couldn't help but notice the familiar features in his face.

He saw a glimpse of both of you in his son's face - the same eyes as yours, the same smile as his. It was like a piece of both of you were still together, living on in your son. Tears welled up in his eyes as he placed his hand on Megumi's chubby cheeks, feeling the softness and warmth. In that moment, he felt a wave of emotions .

He may not have you by his side anymore, but he had your son - a reminder of the love you shared and the memories you made together. And for that, he was grateful.

He may have lost you, but he still had a piece of you with him, and that was enough to keep him going.

Notes; was listening to Glimpse of Us by Joji and it inspired me to write this mini series.. It’s prob gonna have like 5 chapters max since it’s a small series! anyways wrote this at like 3 am welp.. Dividers by @/cafekitsune !!

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

I believe Aang was right to end the war by sparing Ozai. But the only (imho) valid reason some people say he should have done it is because they wanted Aang to realize that pacifism is flawed.

I'm gonna disagree with you here, because a lot of the flaws fans talk about pacism and how ATLA in particular handles it as a concept are 99%:

1 - People being ignorant/racist and not knowing the difference between pacifist monks and "make love, not war" hippies.

2 - People being ignorant/racist and refusing to understand that there are different kinds of pacifism, even within the same cultures/people groups.

Aang is very clearly not the type of pacifist to go "You can NEVER react with ANY kind of violence towards someone else, even if it's to defend yourself/someone else" (which does exist, both IRL and in the show, just look at the owl spirit in "The Library").

We see him fight, and even be quite aggressive in said fights, in a lot of episodes. We also see he has no issues with invading the Fire Nation. More importantly, for the longest time the Avatar State was a result of him being pissed off enough at some kind of injustice that it makes him lose control, meaning he is very clearly affected by the horrors of war to the point of RAGE.

What makes him a pacifist is the way in which he doesn't WANT to lose control, doens't WANT go from aggressive to full on cruel, and, yes, wants to defeat his enemies, but not kill them.

And as I keep repeating, the show DOES make him question that last boundary he set for himself. He gets told by a past Avatar, who was also an air-nomad before anything, that, when there is such a large threat to everyone's life, including his own, he has to put aside his own spiritual needs and take a life - provided there isn't another option. But there was, so Aang took that, even after he decided that, yes, if there was no other way, he WOULD kill Ozai.

What people don't like is that Avatar, although questioning some types of pacifism, is far more interested in questioning the way people are WAY too eager to use violence to solve their issues, and, more importantly, expect someone else to get their hands bloody.

Fire Lord Sozin starts the war because he, according to himself at least, wants what's best for everyone and would like to share the Fire Nation's glory and great life with the other nations. He tries to do by invading foreign territories, killing his best friend, and commiting genocide. The fucker even has the dragons, an obvious Fire Nation symbol, to be hunted to extintion.

When Jet is angry at the Gaang for ruining his plan to free a village from the Fire Nation's control by blowing up a dam, Sokka asks "Who would be free? Everyone would be dead."

Zuko is banished because he spoke out against a Fire Nation higher-up's plan to use soldiers as fresh meat to bait the enemy into a more vulnerable position, thus assuring the nation's victory in that battle. He openly says "These men love and defend our nation, how can you betray them?"

When Zhao wants to kill the moon spirit, Iroh tries to stop him by pointing out that the Fire Nation needs the moon too (seriously, if it wasn't for Yue's sacrifice and Zhao's death, the Fire Nation would have had to create a word for "Big-ass wave that wrecks everything and kills people" like Japan did).

When Aang is deliberately trying to trigger the Avatar State because he doesn't want anyone else to die in the war, Katara, who had her life ruined by said war, is against it because while she opposes the Fire Nation, she cares about Aang and, in her own words, seeing him in so much pain and rage hurts her too. When Aang can't force himself to go nuclear, an Earth Kingdom ruler attacks Katara and makes both her and Aang, two very traumatized child soldiers, think he is going to kill her.

More importantly, when Ozai wants to burn down Earth Kingdom cities, he says "A new world will rise from the ashes, and I'll be supreme ruler of everything", to which Zuko concludes that, if they don't save the world before his dad takes over, there won't be a world to save.

And what does he say to Aang when he is about to kill him? "You're weak, just like your people. They didn't deserve to live in world, in my world."

Avatar does questions pacifism, and is critical of it on ocasion (again, watch "The Library"). But it's biggest theme is being critical of VIOLENCE, of resorting to it immediately without considering any other option and acting like it doesn't have long-lasting negative consequences, both to the person suffering it to the person inflicting it (see Azula's breakdown, Zuko's angry outburts only making him more miserable, Jeong Jeong growing to resent being a firebender, Zhao accidentally burning his own ships, etc)

The show is constantly highlighting that, yes, sacrifices need to be made for the greater good - but that CAN'T be normalized because it inevitably leads to a never-ending cicle of cruelty, as well as suffering to the one who has to do the dirty job (because lets not forget there's a big difference in how a soldier that is constantly in battle sees the war and how a king that just gives the orders but never goes into the actual combat sees the war).

The show embraces pacifism, despite knowing some versions of it are flawed, because the narratives themes are:

1 - EVERYONE is capable of great good and great evil

2 - No group has the right to impose it's own lifestyle onto others

3 - If everyone is either dead, mentally (and physically) scarred for life, or preparing to kill someone as revenge, then being killed by someone who wants to avenge that person, who will themselves be killed for revenge later, then the "greater good" you're sacrificing everything for doesn't actually exist because NO ONE will have a good life in a world that is stuck in the cicle of violence.

[superbat-lmao]

Damian Wayne stuck in a time loop.

It resets when someone dies, and since Damian is the youngest, it doesn’t matter how rocky his relationship is with the bat-siblings, each and everyone one of them sacrifices themselves for him.

And Damian is pissed off because he doesn’t understand why.

Grayson is obvious, he has made it clear that he feels affection for Damian and has made the most effort into integrating him into the family. Of course he would die for his little brother. And at first, Damian believes he finds this outcome to be the least acceptable.

There is also his Father, again, a logical expression of love. Damian can understand why his Father would die for him, even if he doesn’t want him to. Even if, in the first few loops, he wishes that anyone else would die instead. At least it’s a type of parental relationship he can understand in the abstract, even if it surprises him to see its true about himself. That even though he has several older brothers and is unsure of his place by his Father’s side, the man would do anything to protect him. It reminds him of his Mother, even though he’s sure if she were here she’d find a way for the both of them to live.

Brown is the first one to surprise him. They had worked together when Grayson was Batman and he recognized her competence, but he thought that’s all it was. A working relationship between professionals. A mutal, if grudging respect. He is shocked when she dies, how he had no clue she would go that far for him. How he refuses to let it happen again.

If Brown was a surprise, Cain was a shock. Damian thought of her as nigh invincible, unable to be touched. It was clear she was the best of all of them, that she had seen the hit miles ahead of him, had maybe even seen him brace for it. But she had chosen to let herself go down. He feels every bit his age as he begins to wonder if he’s even more powerless to stop this than he thought if his most competent sister chose to let herself fall.

Thomas was confusing. He was new, newer than Damian and not quite sure of himself. They rarely saw each other aside from school due to the mismatch in schedules. Thomas gave him a wide berth, respecting Damian’s space in a way his other siblings failed to do or intentionally disregarded. Damian didn’t think much of him. Couldn’t understand how Thomas hadn’t even paused, had taken the hit as if it was an unquestionable law of the universe. As if they were really brothers and not strangers. It was a sentiment Damian didn’t know how to return.

Todd was the worst. He had seen him, briefly, before he had come to Gotham from the league. His Mother spoke of him rarely, but with pride. He was skilled, if untamed. He avoided the manor and his brothers and their Father. The only one he usually sought was Pennyworth. That is why Todd was the worst. Because he avoided all of them. Because this family had already allowed him to die before and he had come back wrong. A painful reminder that their family has failed. And he fought so hard to remind them all of that failure, every way he chose to keep fighting to live, to prioritize his own life over their Father’s morality. Only to throw it away for Damian. To force him to watch how his brother’s second death shattered their Father and Pennyworth and Grayson in a way that Damian didn’t think they’d survive a second time.

Drake is incomprehensible. Antithetical. A cosmic error. Impossible. There is no love between them, no grudging respect, nothing. Damian can’t stand to look at the person who he feels is a disgrace to the costume Damian now wears. He is the one who dies for Damian the most. The one he can’t possibly understand. The brother he has the least time to question, who gives him the least answers as to his motivations. Who will both die for Damian and refuse to utter a word to him in the same loop. It is madness. Damian needs to prove himself above this embarrassment, and yet Drake chooses to be beneath him. To die for him. It is in spite of Damian’s skill that Drake dies, and Damian hates him for it.

[qin-qin16]

SWEET SWEET LOVE

Summary: book tropes with Cross, Error and Ink!

cw.: 0.6 k content: sfw, short headcanons, hurt/comfort, everyone gets a happy ending… unless?, depressive thoughts in Error’s part, but nothing extreme!  note: i really don’t know how to end headcanons, but have fun anyway! Error's part was inspired by this post!

Cross - you fell first, he fell harder + dog poetry

You always compared Cross to a dog, one of those who trust in nothing and no one; 

They bark, they bite, they hurt anyone who crosses their path. No one wants to get close to a dog like that; 

However, you began to see more than just that wild layer that Cross seemed to want to display. Behind all that anger, all that hatred towards everything and everyone, the deep envy of happy worlds, you managed to see the pain, the fear of never being able to live happily again after so many sacrifices; 

And, just like a dog, Cross just needed to learn to trust again, and of course, you were willing to be the one to teach him; 

Both of you had to be patient—and you also had to be very understanding during Cross's outbursts of feelings or the moments when he wanted to be alone; 

It wasn't easy, but God, how worth it it was after all this time; 

As you like to say: you fell in love first, but Cross fell harder in love; 

It was like having a poorly trained guard dog: he would do anything to protect you. Bites, growls, endless fights if it meant your safety; 

He wouldn't lose you, not like he lost everyone else; 

And if not losing you meant acting like a dog, he would act.

Error - Soulmates + second chance 

Before Error became, well, Error, you knew him as Sans; 

Souls intertwined across different multiverses, but after a long time, they managed to find each other again — even after Sans' death and his afterlife state (Geno); 

For a long time, you lived like this: a love between a ghost and a living, souls that should not have been separated by death; 

However, something changed. Overnight, he simply disappeared; 

No more gentle touches, no more whispered promises before sleep, no more starry nights where only the two of you were witnesses to your love; 

Any mere memory of him was like digging a hole deeper and deeper, a hole that, no matter how much you dug, seemed to have no end; 

So, was this what it was like to lose a soulmate? 

But even as this emptiness consumed you more and more, something deep within your SOUL would not let you give up, an unknown determination that refused to let you believe Sans had vanished forever; 

And your SOUL was right... well, partly right; 

Sans was indeed alive, but no longer as Sans; 

Again, something happened, and now you found yourself facing Error who, with great insistence, claims to be your former boyfriend; 

And even though your SOUL was telling you that yes, that was the Sans you knew, are you willing to give it a second chance? 

Whether he knows your answer or not, Error would not lose you again.

Ink - Enemies to friends 

Your first impression of Ink was far from pleasant; 

The disgust you felt for him at the moment was only surpassed by anger when he vomited black ink on your new shoes — and to top it off, he barely apologized, just turned and vanished behind another ink stain; 

Obviously, a presence as striking as Ink's wouldn't be easily forgotten by you, and sure enough, when he appeared in front of you again, you wanted to make him eat those same shoes (now permanently stained with ink); 

But to your surprise, he had returned to learn more about your universe (something he would explain much later what it meant); 

As much as you detested the idea of serving as a tour guide for someone like him, an airhead who had no consideration for anyone, you went along with it. After all, the sooner you started explaining how your universe worked, the sooner he would leave;

Through ups and downs, you ended up softening your heart towards Ink. Even though his lack of personal space sometimes irritated you, you could see a certain fascination in him every time he talked about universes and art, and whether you liked it or not, you also felt sorry for him for not having a soul; 

And like a great (new) friend, he even promised to take you to other universes to explore and have fun — what could possibly go wrong?

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

Sometimes when Harry looks at Tom, he's reminded of a lesson one of his muggle teachers gave on reptiles. Chameleons that can change their skin colour to blend into their surroundings or anoles that shed their tails to distract a predator and escape – adapting in order to survive, no matter what it takes.

Harry is himself, to a fault. He spent so long beaten down and trying to disappear so he wouldn’t draw his relatives’ ire that he now refuses to hide or apologise for who he is and what he wants. It probably helps that his wants are pretty basic – good food, good friends, a warm, comfortable place to live, someone to love him – and that he inherited the money and name to easily achieve them.

Tom, on the other hand, is so used to being smoke and mirrors and disguising what he wants and what he is in order to pretend to be what others want or need. 

He’d been unapologetically (and tyrannically) himself in his childhood, his magic giving him the power to exert his will over others. But Tom is brilliant and a quick learner, and his first interaction with Dumbledore, which he’d described late one night to Harry when the shadows hid both their faces, had proven a subtler touch might be needed.

Now, Tom reflects other peoples’ desires back at them in order to draw them in, and deflects the conversation away from himself so he never has to clearly define his own position. He doesn’t change himself, but everyone seems to believe Tom is on their side – that they’re on the same page. And because of his power and charm and good looks, everyone wants Tom on their side.

Harry has seen this happen many, many times, and he’s still in awe of how Tom affably manipulates those around him into doing what he wants. How Tom determines what someone wants, says just enough to convince them he does too without committing to anything, and twists that connection into a shape that best suits him.

In fact, the only reason Harry believes Tom actually likes him is because Tom never pretends to be what he thinks Harry wants him to be. Tom is petty and says cruel things and lets Harry see him when he’s less than perfectly put together. And Harry treasures each of Tom’s sharp edges, because he’s the only one who gets to see him as he is. He hoards each truth and preference that Tom chooses to share with him like a squirrel preparing for a long, hard winter.

The trouble comes when people talk to Harry about Tom. By virtue of association, Harry’s had to learn to deflect and prevaricate and lie, though he’s still not very good at it. He does a lot of nodding and smiling and making thoughtful “hmm” sounds as people ask him what Tom thinks of this or that. It’s easier than keeping Tom’s machinations straight in his head.

There are moments when Harry isn’t sure Tom even knows who he is at his core. He is so meticulous about his public persona that Harry doubts anyone else knows which foods Tom actually likes (given the chance, Tom would eat ice cream every day), or what he actually thinks about quidditch (he finds it unbearably dull), or what he thinks of muggles (he’ll never be fond of them due to his treatment as a child, but he doesn’t particularly care beyond that) or muggleborns (new blood is necessary for the magical world to continue, but the mages with the deepest pockets are the most bigoted and ‘traditional’) or purebloods (gullible).

And after the tenth meal of eating foods he doesn’t like, or the fifth quidditch match or ministry event or pureblood soirée in a week, or the nth political tapdance before the Wizengamot, pretending to represent everyone’s interests at once without alienating anyone – and quietly getting his own agenda voted through – Harry has to wonder how Tom stays sane. How it all seems worth it. It certainly doesn’t to Harry.

But that’s Tom. Ambitious to a fault, and willing to sacrifice almost anything in order to achieve his goals.

And whatever other people might think, Harry’s not naive. He knows there’s a chance Tom is lying to him, too. He knows it’s possible – even likely – that Tom figured out that the best way to get Harry on his side would be to give him the best illusion of the truth. Show him some darkness and Harry will believe he’s getting honesty. He’s made his peace with this and decided he’d rather give Tom the benefit of the doubt and be a fool than abandon the other man when he’d chosen to be vulnerable with Harry.

So, when Harry brings home Indian takeaway and offers Tom a bite of his rogan josh, only for Tom to casually say, “I don’t really like lamb,” Harry is fascinated and utterly thrilled.

Especially since he’d seen Tom eat lamb chops at a dinner party two weeks ago with nary a moment of hesitation or complaint.

Harry makes sure to leave plenty of the chicken tikka masala for Tom and mentally notes this new preference down. He’s collected a new fact about Tom.

He spends the rest of the meal with a silly little grin on his face.

[krewekreep]

Help Me Create Perfection

Tags: Evil Scientist AU, Reseacher!Reader, Mad Scientist!Sukuna, dubcon, enemies to…(have fun), boss/subordinate dynamic, God complex, Yandare realness, Breeding Kink Sukuna wants to defeat life itself…it’s Sukuna, kinda expect the worst.

Summary: 2.6K words. Ryomen Sukuna is on a quest to become God. What happens when his most prized researcher keeps messing up his experiment?

Author’s Note: Not Proofread, always editing. Am not STEM brained in any way…will likely do a part 2 just had to get the idea out. Big Dick smut in part 2 lmk if you want to be tagged

Experiment Mahoraga was thought up by the worst minds in science. Awful geniuses of the world gathering in the shadows of society using money and power to play God. The leading scientist Ryomen Sukuna was obsessed with playing God. Everyone weary of his despicable goal to create life for no other reason than to spite the heavens above. A truly abhorrent, unethical mad man willing to sacrifice anyone to achieve his goal. How useless and stupid all the other researchers were as they failed to report or remove him from his station. If anything, the more people complained how he had no heart and would do anything he gained promotion after promotion soon being someone you could not even mumble a criticism of in fear of retaliation. A once hidden and shameful secret mutated the entire facility now into Ryomen’s playground.

Once the invisible higher ups knew he could be trusted, now biological testing and his hidden goal of creating life was at the tip of his fingers. How prior to his unshakable status, his fellow researchers would clamor amongst each other whispering of how his enjoyment of the job…seemed far too weird and even perverse. How Ryomen until emboldened with indisputable power would be caught laughing and snickering to himself. How a few researches caught him late nights with a genuinely sinister scowl in the dark reflection of his computer. How once he didn’t need to fake nice he would smile that disgusting grin at being given positive updates on the progress if special interest to him.

As you spoke to him of the Experiment Mahoraga’s improvement, you felt his eyes on you in that penetrating, judgmental, authoritative way. How he had no shame to stare into your modest bosom and how he would laugh to himself at your pulling your lab coat closed and hugging yourself tightly. You didn’t back down from him though, yet knew better than to overtly or publicly challenge him. You had done good work in a breakthrough regarding genetics and although no one knew Ryomen’s true goal, Mahoraga being the dirty secret even the uncaring higher ups didn’t know about—being specially selected to join his team was not a blessing. The rumors of a hidden evaluation had you on edge. And for months until Ryomen plucked away who he wanted everyone was on guard. Some even quitting (disappearing) or becoming fumbling idiots. No one wanted to seem impressive to him. Being useful to Ryomen Sukuna meant you were in a dangerous position. Because no matter what there is no refusing Ryomen. So when your favorite coworkers Charlotte and Jeremy looked absolutely forlorn seeing you that morning…you wished you had understood their warning when they told you to call in sick for work that day….

Since the day you and four other researchers in a facility of over a thousand were specially chosen to join Ryomen’s team—it’s as if to the rest of the building you’re dead. You never went through the same entrance again, you never used the same keycard again, your lunch was never the same as anyone else’s, and soon you felt like nothing more than a well paid, well known work slave. How you and the other researchers names felt like bad words over time. How everyone began to move on and no longer even acquired as gossip the whereabouts or day to day of this special group. Charlotte and Jeremy burned out too, not out of jealousy or hate—your professional adults who very suddenly worked completely different hours and couldn’t even talk to them about what you did now. So your new friends are people who all have bonded over a shared sincere fear of their very scary boss and the fact if you guys can survive this what’s a good night out for drinks gonna hurt?

But Ryomen has a perfect ability to appear out of nowhere. Startling you all back to the actual reality your work dogs for someone who is only not called a mad man because the last scientist who did hasn’t been seen in years. How you just were a nerd into planets, numbers, and figuring things out. How you thought maybe you’d change healthcare forever: cure to cancer, cure to dementia, climate change innovations, better accessibility tech for everyone…you’re a good person with a good brain typing in data with a blaring migraine. Cause only God and Ryomen know what will happen if any of you fuck up Mahoraga. But there was a problem…the problem had been going on for three weeks now. It is becoming ultimately clear Mahoraga will not be sufficient if he is only of artificial intelligence and biology. It is failing to pass the basics of being something even composed to biological matter. A hulking bleached white amalgamation of various species. You would call it a monster but the researcher who did…hasn’t been seen in a while either. Whistleblowers disappear or are found dead. Other scientists who have called for Ryomen’s arrest are suddenly silent. It is just simply understood you want you go home and atleast sleep decent at night? Watch your mouth and mind your manners. And thinking about being the one who has to give Ryomen a negative update makes your legs begin to shake with anxiety.

“Ah! Y/N…” Lu, your coworker, looks over into your screen seeing the flashing red of a failed genetics test. He rests a reassuring hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently. Lu was kinda flirtatious but overall just a nerd boy with a caffeine addiction. “I think you need to tell the big guy before he finds out…” You look over meeting his pensive expression with your own. “Lu…I’m kinda in a bind now cause…I didn’t say anything when it first wasn’t working because…obviously we know we can’t say something isn’t going right…” Lu pulls his rolling chair to yours, arm now snaking around your neck. He rests his head now against your shoulder huffing out mutual exasperation. “I worked and worked and worked. We added so much but all these things are just not congruent…we…” your voice drops to below a whisper. “We all know what he’s trying to do…and life can be created without human DNA…but he’s trying to create something in his image…and maybe just like his actual image this deformed monstrosity is just not meant to live…” you finally let it out. You and Lu silent, knowing and praying you weren’t heard. Lu lifts from you placing a hand on the back of your neck rubbing circles to calm you down. “For what it’s worth…I always hoped this thing would never get free of those tubes.” You both look over to the truly terrifying conglomerate of Mahoraga who now after two years of non stop work has only just shown signs of creating functional limbs.

“Are we supposed to work until we die? For something that doesn’t deserve life?” Before you could cap your question the heavy double doors separating you from the rest of Ryomen’s facility flies open. You and Lu quickly hurry back to your stations, anxious and tired. Ryomen with two other nameless assistants you realized were actually his henchmen since they never did anything saunter in. There’s a veil over Ryomen’s expression and you can tell he’s hiding something. But he walks past the both of you as if your nothing. He approaches Maharoga and with what seemed actual affection he coos: “Oh my child. My wonderful creation…” his tone drops. He’s angry. “How if I had the time you would’ve been completed and immaculate…” without another word he punches the glass tube holding Mahoraga. The glass splinters and you audibly gasp at his display of violence. Your heart beats out of your chest at the sight coming to terms with the fact evidently Ryomen was terrifying beyond his creepy intellect. “Yet, as busy a man as I, I’m stuck relying on peons…” his eyes narrow to you.

“You.” He begins his way towards you. His head high with an immensely deprecating glare. You wanted to run but your knees buckled. Your hands clasped to your chest as you could only freak out and succumb to the stress and his overpowering demeanor. He backs you into the wall nearest the double doors he entered from—you look away unable to face him as he hulks over you. “Y/N…isn’t it?” You quiver unable to form words. “Your name is ____ isn’t it?” The second time sounds like a threat. You shake your head with the utmost obedience, almost like an eager little dog reprimanded by her master.

“You find my child a monstrosity?” He bares his teeth, a frightening sight that makes you close your eyes in trepidation. He’s seething as his hot breath causes a shiver to roll through you. “Maybe you’re just too fucking stupid to figure it out? Huh? Hmmm?” He’s so disgustingly mocking as his eyes again fixate on your chest. “I didn’t vet every personnel here to choose someone who isn’t stupid but just acts like it. I knew what the problem was going to be the entire time…” he grips your chin forcing you to look him in the eyes. “I was waiting on you…” You shake your head in confusion. His grip just tightens causing a pain to shoot across your jaw. “Ryomen please! I am trying! You know I have! I’ve done everything I can! It is not meant to live. You are not meant to play God! You are not God! You’re an evil scientist and an even worse man! What will you do? Hurt me? Kill me? Make me disappear?!” You want to shut up. You feel your stomach caving in fear the more you speak but simultaneously if this is the last time your seen then who cares. If this is the last real job you’ll have ever then who cares? If he’s gonna be sure to ruin your life for the rest of your life atleast you won’t be complicit in whatever harm he and his ‘child’ will cause…fuck it.

“Ryomen…you are a sick human being. You aren’t even a human being. You are a monster your damn self. You want to create life because yours is empty, you’re empty! I hate you!” You sound like a petulant child. A grown woman with one of the most impressive resumes in the entire facility being brought to a babbling temper tantrum by Ryomen.

How you don’t know he had to find out who you were the minute people told him he had a new rival…

How he demanded IT connect his phone to the security cameras and how while he obviously got full access he only lingered on the ones with a new girl in a short but professional skirt. How he could tell you must live a freer life outside of work. How he didn’t understand why you’d do extra work or stay extra hours or help other people? That doesn’t advance you. He couldn’t understand why you would self consciously change how you spoke depending on who was or wasn’t in the room. He never had to do that and never tried. Why would someone smarter than other people care to look good to them? Why did you be sure you pulled your skirt down or brushed your hair or? Were you trying to look cute for the male researchers? Ah! A silly slut who will get up in the world by sitting on as many laps as possible…that day he didn’t really return to watching you.

But when he saw you smiling way too hard at a female coworker…rolling your eyes the minute some male who must annoy you began to talk…how he realized oh…maybe it’s not males. His curiosity is piqued so he sends one of his closer female assistants to feel you out. How you didn’t know that breasty coworker with the easy smile was sent to get you on a date to bring back info. And oh did she bring back info…typical STEM nerd but you really wanted to do work that mattered. And that making a change in the world was the best way to feel like everything you struggled to accomplish was worth it. Ryomen rolls his eyes, how about you change the world his way?

He brought you on because as far he heard and saw with his own eyes you had the power of Eureka. Nothing other than somehow when your eyes or hands got on something it was fixed, improved, advanced. He only knew himself to have such a balance of intuitive intellect and practical capability. He was not a fan of people who were weak or incapable. So why did you falter the minute you were put in a better position? Already at an established, distinguished, awarded institution…now amongst the upper rung of the global scientific elite. Ryomen could put you right next to him and you’d only what? Become a God alongside him? How his ideas would meet your diligence. How he could populate the world unbeknownst to everyone they all are of him, and therefore finally worth life. How he thought for once he was wrong…how maybe the one time he did expect the most of someone they crack under the pressure. How again he realizes he is alone in his plight to ascend excellence. He doesn’t want to be God, he believes he can do better. But he’s still begrudgingly mortal, his ideals cut in half by the limits of his body.

You were right. He couldn’t make anything in his image without something human. Something of him. He knew that all along. So how dumb of you to wait chewing your nails and pens to oblivion at every new configuration you tried. How you were the mad scientist unwilling to accept the facts before you. Maybe somewhere deep down understanding then what would entail…what offer might arise knowing you would have to tell him. How hard and angry his cock would get. Childish and entitled wanting nothing more than to feel how he spreads you. How he rested his head against his fist, canine protruding and dug into his lip as you spin around huffing at another failed attempt. How he resents you biding time. How if you just do what you’re supposed to and walk your stupid ass in this office the problem will be solved.

So when you allow Lu to get far too close to you, far too comfortable…and you admit you are failing him on purpose... Now he can’t even satiate his anger with the farce you just don’t know what he wants…but you do. So he has no choice now but take what he wants and youre already weakening in his grasp. You’re already crying your eyes out. He can only think on everything he’s done for you and low stupid you are to lack gratitude. How egotistical you are to think he hasn’t seen every time you’ve rolled your eyes at him. Or sucked your teeth. Or all the unsavory opinions of him you laughed at. How he’s let you disrespect him long enough and far beyond anyone else. If something completely artificial can be made whole with something human, of course two humans naturally can then create a sublime, supreme being…how he’s already past Mahoraga, that will be the pet. How he was thinking much too small, because a child…the possibility of a proper successor in every sense of the word…now you need to stop crying because it’s annoying. You’re about to be so happy, so accomplished. He’ll let you work. You’ll look even better standing next to him. You’ll still get your awards and books and funding yada yada but…you’ll bear him one son, one daughter. Maybe twins. He’ll figure it out. But right now he needs to confirm his theory you’re not Eve but something beyond. And that you’ll help him create life in more ways than one.

[purpleyoonn]

My Mate

Summary: Your village was surrounded by a never-ending forest. Every 20 years, for as long as the village people could remember, offerings were held for the beast who roamed the forest. It was the only way your village could remain safe. This times offering, you were one of the women being offered up to the beast. You only hoped that you could make it out alive.

Pairing: Werewolf Jungkook x Human Sacrifice reader

Genre: soulmate au, fantasy au, werewolf au, angst, bts au, medieval fantasy au,

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: not much, drug concoction, slight drugging, some minor violence, normal medieval female treatment, mentions of sacrifice, mentions of death, mentions of kidnapping, protective Jungkook, possessive Jungkook, shitty villagers, women trying to fight back, mc not being able to fight back, weird mate rituals, 

Masterlist // Navigation 

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The morning light had just began to creep over the tree line on the edge of your village. You lived in a quiet village, one where everyone knew everyone and the peace between families was always kept. Your own family resided close to the edge of the forest, surrounded by a small field your family used for farming. You produced most of the vegetables for the town.

Unfortunately, it was your job to take care of most of the crops, your elder brother out of town right now. He was out looking for an “appropriate wife”, not that you thought anyone fit that title. 

As the second eldest, it was your responsibility to take on your brother, Jacob’s, jobs. You knew you would be next though, your father and mother already trying to make matches for you with men from your village.

You hated all of the men in town, thinking they were all pig-headed and stupid. You would rather be taken by the beast then marry anyone in town. Which is precisely why your bother left for neighboring towns, not liking any of the females here, either.

Every 23 years, the young maidens in town were wrangled up and tied to trees in the middle of the forest as tribute to the beast who lived in the forest. It was the hope that by providing him with a mate, he would leave your village alone. 

For seven days, a group of maidens would be blindfolded, dressed in white gowns, and tied to trees like pigs for slaughter. If no maiden was taken, it would continue on until someone was. Usually, a maiden was taken within the first two nights, leaving the others safe and the seven days of terror would seize.

This year, it would be your first time in the sacrifice. You refused to call it anything else. The entire idea of tying girls up to a tree, waiting for a beast to take them…was a sacrifice. Your mother hadn’t participated in the last one but had told you stories of it growing up. She had known you would be involved with the next one, had known as soon as she became pregnant with you that you fit the timeline and age requirements.

You had just had your nineteenth spring, which meant you would be a part of the maidens who would be brought into the woods. Like many of the other women in town, everyone was preparing for the next seven days when their daughters and sisters would be dragged to their probable deaths.

Your mother had told of her own time, watching as her best friend was dragged from her home, stripped naked and placed in a white dress before being blindfolded and dragged into the woods. Another girl had been found to be unvirtuous, thus leading to a girl from the next group to be brought out.

“I had tried to stop them, tried to take their arms off of her but my father had held me back.” Your mother brushed your hair back as she spoke, her words wrapping around you like a cocoon, keeping you entranced.

“I had to watch as she pleaded for help, while no one moved but me.”

You swore you would fight back if you were to be taken, would do anything you could to keep your life. It seemed all of the women being prepared for the beast felt the same way, each of us meeting in secret for defence lessons from our brothers. Jacob had even given me a dagger for my last birthday, claiming it was pure silver, something that would kill any beast that came my way.

And it seemed the beast would be coming your way soon, no matter how hard you fought.

Your mother had tried to keep you in the field as long as she could, but when it came time to get ready, the town’s elders had different ideas. You had tried to fight, to injure the people sent to gather you, but they had a different plan.

It seemed as though the elders had learnt from the last virgin sacrifice and had made sleeping potions for the maidens to drink. As soon as they entered your home to take you, your mother had pushed them back, not wanting you to go through what her best friend did. When they threw her to the ground, that’s when you got angry. Your vision went red ss you through yourself at the closest man, going straight for their neck as he tried to steady himself against your weight.

When the second man, the one who pushed your mother, came over, he grabbed you by your hair and pulled you off the man. You were quick though, thanks to your brother and his friends, and was able to grab your dagger from the folds of your dress and stab him in the leg. He screamed out and let you go, giving you the opportunity to help your mother up from her place on the floor.

This gave you the disadvantage, your back to them as the lunged for you once you helped your mother up. They grabbed your arms and held them behind your back, your shoulder aching as you were maneuvered into a standing position.

“Stop, please! She isn’t a danger.” Your mother pleaded with them as you tried to thrash in place, hoping their grip on you would loosen enough where you could get away. The one man was quick though, his hands moving fast as he uncorked the potion and shoved it down your throat, his grip on your jaw harsh as he held your head in place.

Your vision quickly became blurry as the strength slowly fell from your muscles, your limbs falling to your side as you lost your footing. You could hear your mother and younger sister screaming for you as you fell into the men’s arms, their bodies moving to hoist you up so they could carry you out.

The last thing you remember was your father moving to hold your mother back from coming after you before you felt cold and your vision went black.

-*-*-

Your head was pounding, and the sobs coming from around you weren’t helping. It took you a couple minutes to open your eyes, but when you did you realized your situation. You were tied to one of the big oak trees in the forest, the village leaders having already left for the town.

It was past nightfall, and you could tell that it wouldn’t be too long until the dreaded beast came for his sacrifice. You couldn’t see much, but you could recognize the white dresses the others were also in. You could only see three girls from where you were tied, none that you could recognize in the dark.

They were all crying, fighting against their restraints. You would be too if you hadn’t of felt how well the leaders had ties your bounds. Ignoring them, you looked around, trying to see if you could see the moon through the tree line. If you could see how high the moon sat in the sky, you could figure out what time it was.

A sharp cry had you trying to turn your head, the trunk in your way as your skin rubbed itself raw. A low growl followed the cry, before others started crying out as well. None of the cries were ones of pain, giving you some hope that no one had been hurt yet.

You could hear the beast’s footsteps, gradually getting louder and more forceful as he moved from tree to tree, as if on a purposeful hunt. It seemed to be searching for something, the cries dying out as the beast walked away from each trunk. 

You remained quiet, listening for any sign of him getting closer to you, you eye catching with the girl across from you. You watcher her eyes, looking for any sign that she could see the beast. It took only a couple of minutes, heavy breathing and low growls filling the silence before her eyes widened and her chest started moving quicker.

The beast was close now, you thought. Their footsteps now sounding as if they were in your ear, adjacent to the sound of your heart echoing in your throat. You could hear the beast sniffing, taking in deep breaths as he moved, using his sense of smell to find his victim for the night.

Vibrations could be felt from the trunk you were tied to, his claws digging into the trunk and moving until he was right by your ear. You could see the blatant fear in the woman’s eyes, her tears being lit by the moon as they fell down her cheeks. She cried out for you, but her words were drowned out by the feeling of the beast’s nose at your throat.

You held your breath as the beast brought his face closer, taking in a deep breath as he brushed his nose against the expanse of your neck. You tried turning your head away but his… hand held your jaw in place.

The beast was a human? You couldn’t help but squeeze your eyes shut, your fear quickly turning into terror as the thought of a human causing so much fear in your village’s hearts.

“Shhhhh. Don’t cry mate.” The beast spoke up, his voice was low and rough as he spoke in your ear. His finger’s trailed a path down your jaw and neck, hoping to calm you down.

Jungkook couldn’t believe he had found his mate. The lavender scent had been drawing him in for weeks now, but his father had made him wait, claiming the moon goddess would bring you to him during the ritual. That your scent was only coming to him so he knew how to find you.

Jungkook moved away from your decadent scent and stood in front of you, your eyes shut as you tried to push yourself further into the rough bark. He roamed over you, watching the way your dress fluttered and flowed against your thighs. He searched for any indication that you were hurt, his nose picking up on the scent of your blood.

He growled again when he didn’t see anything, moving around the trunk to where your hands were tied. He snarled at the sight of your wrists, blood dripping down onto the bark from where you were subconsciously fighting against the rope, your skin rubbed raw.

“Don’t worry mate, I won’t let them hurt you again.” He growled out, his anger at the villagers growing as he cut the rope with his claws. He moved quickly to catch you, your legs succumbing under your weight.

Jungkook brought you into his chest, holding you close as he stood up. You tried to push him away, but your strength was still depleted from whatever concoction they had forced down your throat. You let out a small whimper when he started moving, further into the forest and away from the others, still tied to their trees.

Hearing your whimpers, Jungkook began to run, hoping to get home to his den so he could properly take care of you. He didn’t want your wrists to get infected, and he wanted to make sure you had no other wounds.

“please” you murmured, your speech slurred from the damn concoction. Your mind was clear but it seemed your body was still fighting.

“We are almost home, my mate. Do not worry.” He pleaded with you, hoping that you would stay awake. He didn’t know what the village gave its sacrifices, and neither did his father. They first used it on his mother, and she never remembered if they said anything about it. But it worried him, how limp your body seemed, how out of it your mind appeared.

Only minutes passed before he made it back to his pack, everyone asleep as they waited patiently for him to bring their Luna home. He moved quickly, weaving in and out of cabins before coming upon his own, prepared and ready for your arrival.

Opening the door, Jungkook moved quickly, placing you in the nest he spent hours making for you, the furs and blankets perfect for your soft skin. He wanted it to be warm enough, to bring you enough comfort as you adjusted to pack life.  

The man left you in the pile of blankets and furs before moving to a chest on the other side of the room, grabbing something out of it before returning to you. You could do nothing but try to protest as he undressed you and put a large shirt over your body before doing the same to himself. He wore only pants as he moved in behind you.

You cried quietly as he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into his chest, the warmth coming from him had you squirming in unwanted comfort. You felt safe with the beast, and you hated it. You tried to move away from him but he held onto your wrists, bringing one up to his lips before he started to lick at your wounds.

“what..?” you tried to speak but he only cooed at you, his eyes softening as he looked down at you.

“I’m only trying to clean your wounds, baby. Don’t want them to get infected.” He placed a kiss on your palm before licking at your wounds again. Despite the weirdness of the situation, and the fear you still felt, you could feel your core start to warm, the tingles moving down your spine with every touch of his tongue against your skin.

Jungkook could smell your arousal, his eyebrow quirking as he noticed your thighs clenching together. The hand that wasn’t holding your wrist to his mouth moved slowly until he was cupping your inner thigh, his thumb rubbing the top of your uncovered skin.

“I promise I’ll take care of you, my mate. Just let me clean your wounds first.” His voice was raspy with lust, happy and pleased you were now feeling the effects of the bond. He knew you would eventually.

His words had you turning your head away from him, your eyes now looking around the room he brought you into. It seemed he put you in the bed, as it was the only thing that closely resembled one. 

Next to you, a couple of feet away was a small table with two chairs, and behind that was a small kitchen. In front of you, by the door that he brought you through, was a large comfy chair, along with even more blankets. A chest sat against the wall, the same one where you now knew the clothes were held.

“I’m glad you like it. The second I sensed you I began to prepare our nest. I wanted to make it warm and comfy for you.” He had finally finished “cleaning” your wounds, his arms now holding you flush against him as his hand continued to rub at your thigh.

“I’m glad I found you, my beautiful mate.” His lips whispered against your ear, capturing your lobe in between his teeth as he finished. His hand moved the shirt up to your stomach before his hand began to trail closer to your core, your breath hitching at the feeling of tingles crawling across your skin.

[theholypeanut]

KIYOSHI TEPPEI X SECOND CHANCES

Peanut Wheel of Fortune Event

Cw: 2,3k, hurt to comfort, angst, Kiyoshi getting hurt (as in knb plot), one curse word, gn!reader

Plot: Kiyoshi was your biggest love, but it’s not easy to date a person who will sacrifice themselves on every chance they got

Event Masterlist

Kyoshi Teppei was a perfect guy. 

When you met him at the beginning of your high school life, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was anyone who embodied Golden Retriever energy better than he did. He was so nice to everyone, energetic, polite, and well-mannered, and he simply shined everywhere he went. You couldn’t believe how that happened, that one rainy day he confessed to you, with this bright smile, a tiny blush, while rubbing his nape from embarrassment. You could guess he asked at least three different people for their good luck before talking to you. Of course, you liked him too, how could you not? It was Kiyoshi Teppei. 

The first month of our relationship felt like a dream. He was Prince Charming, the greenest flag, the person who, on hearing you say you were thirsty, would run to the shop to get three of your favourite drinks and a soup just in case and sprint back before you even noticed. He always put you first and talked to you for hours, and your family loved him too. You cheered him on at every game and you became friends with his team, it all felt like the high school romance manga of your dreams. Until it started to fall apart.

Kiyoshi not only put you first, but he put everyone first. He was the most selfless person you knew. When Seirin started to get far in Inter-High elimination, he was the one working the hardest and sacrificing the most. It didn't surprise you that you spent less time together as a result: you couldn't be angry, and you'd support him no matter what. Or so you thought. Kiyoshi would never talk to you and tell you what was wrong, but you noticed a change in his behaviour at some point when his shine was no longer so bright. You noticed micro-expressions on his face like he was in pain - but whenever you asked him about it, he'd brush it off and tell you everything was fine.

Your dates became less frequent, but you were okay with that. Having a boyfriend with big dreams wasn't going to be easy. And then the Kirisaki Daiichi match happened. 

At this point, you already noticed that Teppei was overworking himself. He always put everyone first without looking back - that was what you loved and hated about him at the same time. But when you saw him get hurt during the match, it broke your heart. The whole scene looked awful and you had to cover your mouth in case you were going to throw up. The match was stopped and everything was chaotic. You barely remember anything until you got to the hospital. You wanted to be there for him, to support Kiyoshi in his worst moments. But your final straw was when he refused surgery because otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to play basketball in high school. 

You yelled at him to the point that the nurse asked you to leave. You cried and just told him you won't take it anymore. You refused to just stand there and watch him kill himself for basketball. He didn't say anything.

And that's how your relationship with Kiyoshi Teppei ended. 

People always say that your first love rarely is the last one. You wouldn’t know - even after some time had passed and you hadn't talked to Kiyoshi since the break-up, you couldn't imagine dating someone else. You were partly grateful that he was in hospital for so long and that you didn't have to see him, because deep down you knew that if he asked you to come back, you'd do it in a heartbeat. Your friends stayed by your side, telling you that you deserved to be with someone who didn't put basketball ahead of his health and, well, you. But as the year went on, you couldn't help but wonder if you'd ever loved someone as much as you loved him.

The graduation passed and you still didn’t even see him in the school. At first, you were angry, but as time went on you had to fight the temptation to call him and ask how he was. You avoided his friends from the team till graduation, but it was eating you from the inside how you couldn’t even catch a glimpse of him at school. Graduation of the first year, spring holidays, beginning of the new year. No sight. No call, no message. You were going through all stages of grief. You heard rumours about the basketball team being amazing again, without Kiyoshi. „Good for them” you replied to your friends when someone tried to break the news to you as a kind of small talk. Everyone around you knew not to mention basketball anymore. At that point, it almost felt like it was basketball that took away your first love.

But deep down, you were rooting for Seirin. How could you not? This team was built with your lover's sweat, tears and blood. But it made you sad that he was not here to contribute to its success. Until Kiyoshi showed up for the winter semester. And instead of feeling relieved that he was well, you were angry again. When he didn't even find a second to write you a single message for a year, you kind of wished he had a good reason: not that he'd just come back to school, all bright and shiny like before, without a proper explanation. Or has he moved on?

You wouldn’t know, and to be fair, you didn’t want to know. Because the idea that Kiyoshi simply moved on, because it was not as important to him as it was to you was as painful to you, as getting hurt during the match was to Teppei. So you decided to ignore him. Pretend that you never crossed paths. Sometimes it was less painful than seeing him behave like nothing had happened and that you had never been together.

You didn’t come to any games, you didn’t want to listen to the exciting news about how Seirin had a realistic chance of winning this time. Until one day, out of nowhere, you got a message from an unknown number. 

You hadn't really blocked Kiyoshi the year before, because he never really tried to contact you. But one day, a month after you broke up, your best friend invited you over for a sleepover, you had two beers together, and after being influenced, you deleted his number and all his messages. But you knew his number by heart, so when it popped up on your screen, your heart skipped a beat.

„If we win this game, please let’s talk” it’s all it said. Of course, that was so Teppei. He was at the school for almost four months and needs a fucking game to schedule when he will talk to you. You didn’t answer. There weren't enough words in the vocabulary to describe how angry and sad you were, and you didn't want to be the salty ex who wrote him an angry essay and made him lose a game.

But it happened: Seirin won. And just out of curiosity, you actually watched the game this time. You couldn't get rid of the painful feeling in your chest when you knew how much it had cost Teppei to achieve all this. On the one hand, you were relieved that he finally made it, but on the other hand, you couldn't deny the sadness. You never replied to that text, partly out of fear: you didn't really know what to expect from him anymore: it had been a year since you broke up, what was there to say? You felt stupid for never really moving on, but life went on without you. And maybe Kiyoshi too.

Days after the game, you stayed longer at school, stuck with your class responsibilities. It was quiet and the evening sun was glowing through the window, as you stapled the notes teacher asked you to bring after classes. Just as you finished, the classroom door opened abruptly. "A perfect student as always?" You heard a familiar voice and felt a shiver run down your spine. "Stop making fun of me, I've never been a perfect student anyway" you replied, slightly annoyed. This was so him: trying to make up for the year of ghosting with a friendly joke. "You never replied to my text. Did you change your number?" He ignored your answer and asked without further small talk. You avoid his eyes as you reply, avoiding the question: "Congratulations on your win, Kiyoshi."

Your tone was neutral, cold. The worst part was, it’s not like you hated him. How could you? But the wound was too deep to just fall into his arms like in a cheap romance novel. You heard his footsteps as he came closer, sitting on the table right next to you. „I’m so sorry.” You heard his full of regret voice. „I don’t even know where to start with all of the things I should apologise for. But what you need to know is that for all this time I could never stop thinking how I want to make it up to you.” He stopped for a second, and continued, hesitantly: „All I want to know, is if you… still love me enough, to give me a second chance. Or love me at all.”

You smiled, to his surprise. You finally looked at him, for the first time since he had entered the room. "How is it that after all this time you still know exactly what I want to hear?" He smiled back, but before he could say anything, you continued in a serious tone: "Why didn't you say anything for a year?" This was no time to beat around the bush - no amount of sweet words would change the fact that he had simply let you go and only returned when he had achieved his goal. No matter how you look at it, it seems that you were never his priority, only basketball.

Kiyoshi felt slightly intimidated by your straightforwardness, but sent you one of his branded bright smiles. 

"You know, that's one of the things I've always loved about you: you're the most honest person I've ever met. I still remember you yelling at me in the hospital. I have thought about your words ever since." He paused for a moment, looking down at his huge, calloused hands. "At first it took me a long time to process what had happened. Can you imagine that the whole time I was in hospital, I didn't believe it was over? I just refused to believe it. All the time I just believed that we would talk it out and it would be the same. Every day I rehearsed in my head my apology when you'd walk through the hospital door like you used to. But you never did. It seems so silly now, but all the time I thought that if I wrote to you, the break-up would be real. It wasn't. I think I only realised it when I came back to school and you refused to look at me. I don't think I've ever felt so empty in my life. Not even Hanamiya's foul came close to that pain. But I didn't want to just come crawling back to you and repeat the exact same pattern as last year. I did not want to... disappoint you like that again."

After you heard him pause, you couldn't help but wonder if there was any way you could have resolved this sooner, by communicating. You looked at his face attentively. "But now… I guess after we won with Hanamiya… All I could think about was how much I want us to be together again. It is embarrassing to admit how much I missed your voice. Even if you'll just scold me. But at least" he hesitated, and you noticed a tiny blush on his cheeks, "at least I had the courage to finally ask you if there was any chance that you felt the same way." His face became even more red as he quickly added: "I heard from Riko that you don't go out with anyone, if you do, I'm so sorry for saying such things."

You looked at him, still stunned by everything you'd just heard, and you couldn't help but think that Kiyoshi Teppei really is a perfect guy. No matter how much you wanted to hate him right now, to scream at him for all the time he hadn't reached out to you, you felt the anger just go away by looking at his face, all red, and his beautiful eyes trying to avoid your gaze out of embarrassment and fear that he might have said all those things to a taken person. How could you be so angry with him? You moved slowly towards him and rested your forehead on his chest. He was surprised by the sudden touch, but didn't move. 

"You're so stupid" you said as you grabbed his shirt. You waited a second to not let him notice that your voice was cracking. "Promise me you'll never do anything like that again? I never want to hear you put basketball before your health again." You couldn't see his face, but he sighed and put his hand on your head. 

„I promise” he said with the most gentle voice. 

You know what they say, that love is not enough for a relationship to survive. But this time you really think it will be enough to fuel both of you to work it out and grow together so that you'll never break up again.

Bonus:

[batneko]

Knight and Lord AU

based on my second idea from this post, here is a short fic about what happens after the first time Bowser saves King Luigi’s life.

The gouge on the breastplate was at least two hands wide, cutting across where Bowser’s left pectoral would have sat while he was wearing it. Right now he was unclothed except for the spiked bands around his neck and wrists that he favored, and Luigi couldn't see so much as a scratch on the natural plating that covered his chest.

"You need something?" Bowser said. He'd turned away from the armor stand when Luigi came in, but hadn't moved to greet him. For anyone else this would be almost unfathomably rude, but it was part of the package with Bowser. If he started being formal now it would feel unnatural.

"I just…" His eyes drifted to the armor again. “I wanted to…” The gash was thicker than Bowser's fingers, he'd been sticking a claw through it when Luigi walked in.

"No?" Bowser said. "Hey, how do I get a new one of this?"

"Oh, um, I'll talk to the armorer."

The knight contingent had a supply sergeant who should be in charge of all this, but he hadn't exactly been enthusiastic about fitting Bowser the first time. Luigi had needed to give a direct order to get Bowser's armor ready in time for his knighting - and even then the smith toad had refused to put him ahead of anyone else and worked all night to finish the other repairs instead.

It wasn’t a surprise that the other knights didn’t welcome Bowser immediately, but Luigi knew not being surprised by something didn’t mean you weren’t still disappointed by it.

“Good,” he said. “Now if that’s all, I’m off the clock.”

“I wanted to thank you,” Luigi blurted.

Bowser gave him a side-eye. “You already did. Like, six times.”

“I know, but, I mean it.”

“You didn’t before?”

“That’s not what I…” Luigi took a breath. It was hard to remember his elocution lessons when he was rattled, and today had definitely rattled him. Rattled both of them, probably, though Bowser would never show it. “Thank you, I appreciate what you did. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for you.”

“Yeah,” Bowser muttered. He didn’t sound proud of that, for some reason. “I’m hearing a ‘but’ coming.”

“But,” Luigi said.

“There it is.”

“I don’t… I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for me.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Bowser said, almost automatically. Then he frowned, slightly, and his head tilted to look Luigi in the eyes. “You know that, don’t you? You said-”

“I know, I meant it, I won’t hold you to your vows. It’s just that the attack today-”

“I knew I could survive that.”

“I’m the one who begged you to take this job, so if something happened to you-”

“You think I’d take a battleaxe to the chest for you?”

“-it would be my fault and I don’t think I-”

“I have a son!”

They both stopped, staring at each other, and Luigi felt his mouth hanging open. He couldn’t remember how he’d been about to finish that sentence. He couldn’t even remember how he started it.

“I… did not know that,” Luigi said at last.

Bowser folded his arms and turned away, head pointed resolutely at the wall. “Didn’t tell you.”

“What… what’s his name?”

“Bowser Jr.”

“Oh. That’s nice?” It would be easy to remember at least.

“Yeah. It is,” Bowser said firmly.

“How old is he?”

“He’ll be seven in two months,” Bowser said, his mouth softening into a smile. Luigi hadn’t been sure he could smile, unless he was mocking someone, or gloating, or mocking someone while gloating.

Bowser was living here in the knights’ quarters with all the others. If he had such a young son, then…

“Are he and his mother living somewhere else?”

Bowser snorted. “That’s technically true. His mom’s not around, though.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“She’s not dead, she just doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

“Oh, then I’m really sorry.”

Bowser laughed, mocking again. “More sorry than if she was dead?”

“I- I don’t know. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

The smile was still mocking, but it was better than the frown, or that thoughtful way he’d been looking at his armor…

“So, yeah,” Bowser said. “Your life is not more important to me than making sure my son still has a father.” He shrugged. “No offense, your majesty.”

He still said it like an insult, when he said it at all. Anything else would feel unnatural.

“Good,” Luigi said.

“I’m serious.”

“So am I. We’re both in agreement here.”

There didn’t seem to be anything else to say, so Luigi shifted his weight back, preparing to make his goodbyes and leave Bowser to get some rest.

“Hey, what you said earlier,” Bowser said. One hand lifted, almost reaching toward Luigi to stop him.

“Which part?”

“About how you apparently think that if I die on the job my blood will be on your hands?”

Luigi hadn’t thought he was listening. “I didn’t say it like that.”

“It’s what you meant, though.”

It was, more or less. “Am I wrong?” Luigi muttered. “You’re only here because of me.”

“I’m here because I chose to be. Every day I choose to stay, and believe me, when I get tired of it you’ll never see me again. So stop beating yourself up.”

Luigi looked up at him. Was Bowser… trying to make him feel better?

“You’re not that important to me,” Bowser added.

Maybe. In his own way.

But it almost didn’t matter, because Luigi hadn’t been honest. Yes, he felt responsible for putting Bowser in danger, but Bowser had been doing a lot more dangerous things before Luigi came along. And yes, he would feel guilty if Bowser got hurt in the line of duty, especially now that he knew about Bowser’s son, but that wasn’t the real reason he was so shaken.

Mario had been missing (Luigi refused to even entertain the thought he might be dead) for months, they lost their mother when they were kids, and their father the king a few years back.

If Luigi lost one more person he cared about he wasn’t sure he wasn’t going to snap.

“Thank you, Sir Bowser,” Luigi said. “For… everything.”

“Yeah yeah,” Bowser said. He sounded unconcerned, but Luigi knew he wouldn’t have said anything if he didn’t mean it. He could have let Luigi walk away, could have let Luigi’s admission slip by without comment.

“Goodnight, then.”

Bowser grunted in acknowledgement, then said, “You’re gonna talk to the armorer, right?”

“I will,” Luigi said.

That got him eye contact and a nod, so Luigi decided to leave before he said something he shouldn’t. Like how much he enjoyed Bowser’s company, or how valuable his advice was to him, or how when he saw that axe hit Bowser’s chest he was pretty sure his heart stopped…

Luigi almost tripped over a toad right outside the door, the small knight carrying a pile of chainmail that was taller than his head. He didn’t bow since he couldn’t see Luigi, which made a nice change, and Luigi was about to walk away when he heard the knight knock on Bowser’s door.

Didn’t the other knights mostly ignore Bowser? What was he doing? Luigi hung back and listened.

“Did you forget your-” Bowser sounded amused as he opened the door, but stopped once he saw it wasn’t Luigi coming back. “Oh. Uh.”

“Good evening Sir Bowser!” The chainmail jingled as the toad held it up. “The supply sergeant put this together as fast as he could. If you layer it over leather it should still protect you from just about anything.”

“Uh… thanks?”

“Your new breastplate will take a few days, but the smith said to tell you he’ll make sure you have a spare this time.”

“Oh… kay. Great.”

“I heard what you did today was amazing!” the toad said eagerly. “Was it really a battleaxe?”

“Yeah,” Bowser said. Then, “Yeah,” again, some of the braggadocio coming back to his voice. That’s what had been missing earlier. “Wanna see the damage?”

“Can I?” the toad said eagerly, then the hinges creaked and Luigi heard the door shut.

The armorer had gotten to work on Bowser’s replacement without being asked, the supply sergeant had made sure Bowser would be protected in the meantime, and random knights were praising Bowser’s bravery. It sounded like he was finally part of the team.

Whether he liked it or not.

[html-nae]

T R A P S O U L

42!Miles x fem!OC

Part 4 of the 42!Miles x fem!OC series

WC:777

Love.

Love, by definition, is an intense feeling of deep affection.

Or

A strong affection for another out of kinship of personal ties.

Or

Attraction based on sexual desire.

It could be anything or everything you hope for.

Or

The feeling can haunt you.

Love or Lust? Is a question that the majority ask.

All of us ask.

Love is when you try to place them or it out of your mind. But you can’t. You can’t think of anyone or anything else. Just them.

If he danced, she danced. And if he didn’t

She still did.

I hope you find some peace of mind in this lifetime. Or at least something you can call your paradise. Give it a chance Morales.

That’s the same advice Harmony would give him any time he felt stressed.

Say yes to me, I’ve got my eye on you.

Harmony never said those words out loud. She refused, she valued their friendship too much.

She was willing to stay if he left, just so he would have someone to come back to if he decided to return.

He stayed in her mind.

Just like Gwen stayed in his.

Just like Harmony stayed in Miles’.

Not her Miles. The other Miles.

The Miles that knew who she was. The Miles that would burn the world down just to make her happy. The Miles that would sacrifice anyone and everyone to keep her safe. The Miles that loves her.

He’d give anything to spend a few hours with her again.

Hours.

It’s been hours since she heard from Miles.

Don’t let him forget about me.

She didn’t want to relive this feeling of being alone. Harmony didn’t want to keep crying in the silk cloth of her pillow. She didn’t care how long it took.

All though she should've.

As long as she was with Miles, a smile adorned her face. He was her own personal sun. Always bubbly, but left her cold and alone at night. Just to pop back up again the next day and do it all over again.

Harmony hated to admit it, but she was scared.

It felt like he didn’t care.

Why am I still here?

She didn’t mean to be complacent with the decision he made.

But why?

Why her?

Did he think of her every night before he went to sleep or did he think of Harmony for hours on end?

Hours.

It’s been hours since she heard from Miles.

A knock sounded from her window.

Maybe he didn’t forget about me.

Harmony thought while throwing back the comforter.

Not Miles.

Miles’ suit wasn’t white.

Nor did it have a hood.

Or pink.

It was Gwen.

Harmony raised a brow and opened her window, the outside air was cooler than it was inside her room. It was almost 10 at night and the city was lively.

You could hear the laughter from where they were. You could see the fluorescent lighting from the neon signs that were still lit and wouldn’t be turned off until the sun came up the next day.

It was calming.

Calming would’ve been the word to describe the music that was playing on the record player a few feet away.

It would’ve been calming if the coolness against his face wasn’t coming from a metal gauntlet that covered the hand of the other version of himself.

It would’ve been calming if he wasn’t tied on a stiff punching bag. His back was aching.

Everything was aching, like it had been for hours.

Hours.

He’s been here for hours.

If he wasn’t glitching then he was begging for his escape.

Or he was taking blows.

His face was covered in dirt and more bruises.

He was exhausted.

Miles from Earth 42 didn’t bat an eye.

He was envious.

Envious of what Miles had back on Earth 1610.

He had Harmony.

He wondered if she was like his Harmony.

She shined like the patent leather on his new 11’s.

She read him like a book, like he was the Bible and she was the reverend.

Miles spent hours talking about his days as a youth to her.

Exposing all his demons and exposing the reasons he was the way he was.

While Miles was too scared to exposed himself, Harmony knew him better than he knew himself. She got him. She hugged him. Told him she missed him.

He fell in love for the first time.

And now that was all gone.

He was envious of everything that he lost.

Everything and anything he hoped for was gone.

Taglist:

@urmotherswhor3 @not-aya @ihavenousernamewhyy-2 @erensbbg @reneuv @notsaelty @blackwxdo @bajadotcom @delulu4yuta @soseoulol @literalawkwardsimp @m9rgaux @kimchikim @mama-2001 @shoyofroyoyoyo @littleshybunbun

[deusvmachina]

I'll say it with my whole chest that I believe that Songbird lying to V about the neutral matrix was never done out of malicious intent. She knew the risks of reaching out to V—for putting her faith in V out of sheer desperation and involving them in what would become a dire and bloody escape. She just wanted to stop losing more of herself physically and mentally to what's beyond the Blackwall, to stop being a weapon of mass destruction for Myers. A tool for the NUSA.

She joined their ranks to keep herself out of trouble for breaching that Militech data fortress (among other things I'd imagine). And she was probably hoping it was a huge opportunity to become one of the best netrunners with all of this top-of-the-line tech at her disposal but she just didn't realize back then that she'd be pushed into breaking international laws or be forced to reach beyond the Blackwell to the immense power beyond. She paid the price tenfold. So yeah, players can be mad that Songbird dangled a carrot (the cure) in front of V's nose. Most people likely are mad or feel played and that's valid. But the choice is there to not take that anger out on someone just as desperate to survive as V is and have them push through to the end and help as they had promised. V states several times throughout the game that they keep their word and do what they say they will do. V and Songbird are mirror images of each other: Songbird losing her memories/identity and organic body to the AIs just like V's brain is being forcibly overwritten by the biochip and her body is slowly degrading. During that conversation she and V had on the couch and through texts, Songbird expressed how she couldn't trust anybody in the FIA. She was alone. Wanted a way out.

Even Reed who thought he could help her was only making things worse. So when she discovered V and their dilemma (probably after she delved into the Cynosure Project is my guess), I say it's what drove her to finally break the (wires) and chains she'd been bound with. She devised a plan with Hansen—always two steps ahead as Reed had said—and reached out to V on the day of reckoning knowing them being in the same boat would be enough to make V fight like hell. It's possible she knew about V for weeks or even months prior. V can question (sorry, forget which part of the game they mentioned this) if perhaps a 'backdoor' was created when she went past the Blackwall with the Voodoo Boys. Songbird then used the Blackwall protocol to tap into the Relic, as confirmed by Slider.

The stakes were too great so Songbird withheld the truth, not wanting to chance V refusing to help her otherwise. She didn't have anyone else, didn't have much time left either so she lied.

I think it boils down to this: V can decide to put someone ahead of her own survival and sacrifice that guaranteed cure OR she can be just as shitty as Myers and let Songbird be the pawn that's sacrificed. What separates humans from anything else is how we are driven by our emotions and our hearts. We take leaps of faith and we make mistakes but what matters is the content of our character. Sometimes 'doing the right thing' isn't doing the right thing.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. And I leave you with this quote:

"I always marvel at the humans’ ability to keep going. They always manage to stagger on even with tears streaming down their faces." —Markus Zusak

[starsofatlantis]

nurse she’s out again

I’ve been thinking a lot about who Treech and Lamina are and their relationship to each other and mostly the downfall of it. I wanted to put all those thoughts down into one place and I always enjoy reading character analyses so I thought I’d share!

To preface, this is my own personal take on them and an insight to the way I write them in fics. This is entirely the movie side of them. I enjoy their book versions, but the movie created a very compelling relationship that I have yet to move on from. I would love to hear other thoughts and opinions so please don’t hesitate to share if you feel the need to!

To start, I view them as childhood friends. There are a few options of how I think their relationship could have gone (that is to say developing into a romantic relationship or staying friends) pre-hunger games, but I know that in all of them, they care deeply about the other.

Individually, this is how I write them:

Treech:

To me, Treech is the oldest of two younger sisters and the burden of that is a defining part of his character. His entire family is still intact and that also weighs heavy on him. I think he lives in fear of what could happen to him, his family, and everything he cares about. This leads to an attempt at trying to care about as few people as possible. He tries to keep his head down and mind his own. He keeps everyone at arms-length. He has friends but they are shallow relationships and only viewed as people to spend time with. He will not do anything to put his life and his family’s life at risk. They get by and in that world, have a good life. He is not going to be the one to ruin that. He has not lost anything of value in his life and in turn, that makes him terrified.

Treech has never lost anyone. He doesn’t know how he would react to grief. It terrifies him because he’s never done it. As much as he tries not to he loves deeply, but he is so afraid of loving more than necessary because he has never lost, and when you live in the world they do, losing is inevitable and simply a matter of waiting.

I view him as a slave to self-imposed duty, someone who would sacrifice anything for the few people he loves (*cough cough* his own innocence), as well as someone with an unhealthy dose of self-hatred.

I think Treech is constantly fighting with himself. His dislike for himself, his inability to allow himself to be close to people and his unwavering kindness and sense of duty are in direct opposition of each other at all times. Everything in him is always fighting to gain the power and it really is just a matter of what day it is as to which trait is the strongest.

He is not consistent with his thoughts and feelings and switches up very easily. He’s hard to get a read on because you think you understand him and you do but only for that moment because the next minute he feels the opposite way.

I think Treech views himself as uninfluential and not really someone of any consequence, which to me is why he becomes so infatuated with Lamina.

Lamina:

Lamina lost a mother during the war, and later two older twin brothers who were rebels and died because of that. It is just her and her father (which in my head also meets the headcanon of why she is better dressed than Treech; family of two vs. family of five). Where Treech has never lost anyone he’s loved, Lamina has lost nearly everyone. While a lot of times this would make someone cold, it makes Lamina even more determined to relish in the things she values. She loves, and she refuses to lessen that love just because she may lose it.

I think when you lose someone, it forces you to face not only your own mortality but also everyone else’s. Lamina takes that mortality and instead of being scared of it promises to make the most of it. Not only that but I think it makes you even more confident in your own strength. If you can get through the loss of someone you love, I think there are very few things you can’t get through. Lamina knows this and she knows how she reacts to grief. She trusts that she has the strength to love and lose because she has done it— multiple times— and she has survived.

I think Lamina is wickedly smart and enjoys learning. I view her as someone who is extremely emotionally intelligent and mature, but for all her confidence in her strength, I think she is also insecure. Typically, I find that people with that kind of maturity at such a young age are ostracized because their peers simply aren’t at that level yet and most of the time what kids don’t understand they label as weird. I think Lamina became very used to the feeling of being alone and at times fed into the notion that her differences were bad. I imagine Treech was the first person to ever treat her intelligence as something that is simply “cool” and not something that makes her incapable of being a kid.

I picture Lamina as someone who is cohesive and a flowing picture of all of her different traits. She accepts each one for what it is and allows it to do its job in her life. She tries to always be better but she doesn’t drown in her faults.

Notice how above I say often “this is what they think about themselves”. They think certain ways about themselves when the opposite is true. Perspective!

In actuality, Treech is strong in his devotions and uneasily swayed from them. He views himself as weak-minded when really he is so stuck in his views he cannot change. He believes that keeping everyone at arms length will keep his heart safe when in reality it does more harm than good. He thinks he is of no consequence to anyone, tries so hard to not cause any trouble, yet makes an impact on every person he’s come into contact with. I believe Treech’s number one character trait is that he is kind. It’s in his nature to help and I think he physically cannot stop himself. It’s just something that happens. It’ll be one instance that he thinks means nothing but means everything to someone else (i.e. being kind to Lamina as children is something he doesn’t even think of because “anyone would do this” yet none of their peers had ever done it before). He thinks he’s inconsequential but he impacts people without even knowing it.

Lamina believes she is unnerving to others when in reality she has that kind of spark that makes it hard to look away. Think about those people who are inexplicably infatuating. So yeah, in a way she is unnerving, but only because you can’t help but notice her. She’s an enigma who’s been labeled as weird.

However, I don’t think they are that different from each other. Instead, I think it is the way they go about those similarities that make them different.

For example:

Treech is kind and he wants so badly not to be. Lamina is kind and wishes she were more so. Where she sees her kindness and empathy as a strength, Treech views his as a weakness.

I think they both are intense about their love, but where one runs from the strength of his love, the other does everything she can to make it stronger.

They both are fiercely loyal. Treech tries to limit that loyalty to his family, but Lamina wishes to give it to everyone.

The ironic part about this is that the traits Treech sees as faults in himself he sees as otherworldly in Lamina. (Perspective 😍)

I picture Treech to have almost in a sense placed Lamina atop a pedestal. She is everything he wishes he were; open, free, and believing in good. Lamina in his eyes is something he is unworthy of, but also something he thinks would ruin him should he ever lose it. She is something to be protected but never touched.

This is so unhealthy though, because it’s impossible to be in a relationship with someone you don’t view as an equal.

Lamina, however, grounded sweetheart that she is, views Treech as human. She adores him for all that he is— good and bad. She adores him for his kindness and for his fearfulness. Lamina values Treech because she values every living being. But she loves him because he is Treech.

However, the downside of this is that I imagine she lets him get away with many things because he was the first person outside of her family to be kind for the sake of being kind. I think Treech would reject a lot of her attempts at getting closer and refuse to admit how much he cares about her. I think Lamina, who is so declarative with her love and wants the same back, is only able to look past this because she convinces herself that the only thing that matters about him is his kindness. Kindness she has been a firsthand witness to and kindness that impacted her at a young age. She’s seen the good in him and refuses to let that good be outshined by all his bad, even if that means becoming a bit of a doormat for his bad habits.

Lamina grows to love Treech over a period of time as she forces herself to push past all his flaws. Treech loves her in an instant because he can’t help himself.

This plays into the part above where I talked about how Treech thinks he doesn’t impact anyone when in reality it’s impossible for him not to and how Lamina has that quality about her that forces everyone to at least look at her.

When Treech shows Lamina that first act of kindness as kids, he impacts her life in a way that makes it impossible for her to not want to know him. Lamina inherently has that quality about her, the quality that makes people want to know her, and Treech, guarded, closed-off Treech, is unable to escape her pull.

In my head, there is literally no world where they don’t immediately mean something to each other, because it is literally engraved into who they are. Treech impacts everyone, Lamina forces everyone to impact her.

In a perfect world, Treech goes to therapy for his self-hatred and Lamina gains a little bit of self-worth (i.e. tells Treech to figure his shit out instead of taking it out on her) however they live in Panem and that is not possible.

Thus their downfall.