#someone stop me before I write a whole essay about this line because I am thinking of one in my head | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yukimomodivorce · 4 months ago

Text

The Ghosts in IDOLiSH7 are a Literary Device, Mostly

(an essay by me)

People are always asking me, "Robin, what the fuck is up with those ghosts in IDOLiSH7? How come this otherwise completely non-supernatural universe randomly has these two ghosts that show up and then never get acknowledged again? Is it just canon that ghosts exist and only Riku and Momo can see them?" and I am always telling them that I have an analysis about this I just haven't written it yet. But that ends today, as do all of these very pressing concerns about the i7 Ghosts™, because here I am, finally writing the analysis. This essay will have two sections, the first on the training camp ghost from part 3/third beat, and the second on the Re:vale house ghost from Yuki's third chapter of Re:member. So, spoilers for all of part 3/third beat in both sections, Re:member in section 2, and there's one extremely minor spoiler for part 4 in section 1 but it's honestly so predictable I don't think it even counts. Also, I'll reiterate this once we get to it, but just a warning that section 2 will contain discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation, and a brief mention of self-harm, so please stop reading after section 1 if you don't want to see any of that! Another less important disclaimer about section 2 is that I am going to spend an entirely unecessary amount of time talking about Yuki. I am normal about Yuki. Okay. Without further ado, let's watch my spiral into ghost analogy insanity unfold!

Game translations: @seigyokus Re:member translations: @ takara_time (+ scans and editing by @ waitamomoment) Rabbit chat translations: @osakaso5

Section 1: The Training Camp Ghost

This first point applies to both ghosts, but I wanna start by noting that I think superstitions and beliefs like this are more common in Japan than a lot of other places, so yeah it is entirely possible that ghosts are just a canon and accepted thing in Idolish7's universe and this isn't really that strange of a detail for the series to include. However, I don't have any real background knowledge about if ghosts are normal in non-supernatural anime/etc. and I am not committing to that kind of research, so we'll have to leave the specifics of the ghost canonicity issue to someone else. But regardless of how canon they are, I think we've established well enough by now that the i7 writers don't put much of anything in the series without reason (re:vale band name you will always be famous. to me), and that definitely applies here as well - both of our ghosts are doing a LOT of potential symbolic work in their brief appearances, and that's what we'll be unpacking today, starting with the TCG.

The infamous TCG (training camp ghost) of Atami needs no introduction, but I'll give her one anyway. During the filming of the Friends Day special, upon following the shopping group home, she offers her services to Riku (inexplicably the only person capable of communicating with her) for the evening entertainment group's test of courage, terrorises several cast members throughout the day, and finally brings us Soma Saito's incredible cover of Dis One before probably being sent back to idol fan purgatory forever. Who is she? Where did she come from? I have several theories.

1.1: The TCG is the audience

While the 'ghosts are real in i7' possibility is there, I think it's also important to note in this case that the whole training camp is very explicitly being filmed for TV, and the biggest vibe I get from this episode of the anime is that the ghost is a part of the show, and we're seeing that show through the eyes of its in-universe audience. This happens pretty often in i7 (for example, when we see the groups talk to their fans during concerts), and generally the line between the real fans and the fictional ones can get pretty blurred (which deserves its own much longer analysis but I Am Not Writing All That), so everything with the in-universe audience here kind of naturally extends to us as the real audience. The TCG would probably be easy enough to manufacture with special effects as long as Riku and the driver guy were in on it, and it would make sense for the Friends Day producers to include it to keep things entertaining and be a stand-in for their viewers/fans of the idol groups - the ghost is specifically a female fan of male idols (Zero), and a lot of her interactions with the cast would qualify as self-insert material (e.g. Tenn singing for her and Riku looking directly into the camera to smile at her). And speaking of Tenn and Riku,

1.2 The TCG is Nanase twins angst

I think this connection is fairly obvious in their exchange here. You could make a case for the ghost representing either one of the twins. Like Riku, she's being pushed away by Tenn before she's ready to leave, told that it's necessary and for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds. Like Tenn, she's leaving despite Riku's protests and part of her not really wanting to go at first, because she believes it's for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds.

There's also the association with ghosts of being ignored/invisible, and Riku being the only person able to see or talk to her. Maybe it's because he's the only one who's able to reach her. Maybe he can see her because he understands her on some level - she was torn away from life like he was torn away from his brother, and she's now practically invisible to everyone else around her, like Riku probably feels to Tenn (and arguably the rest of his family in some ways). Maybe he wants her to feel seen, and he can make Tenn acknowledge her in the way he wants to be acknowledged by him. I might actually be going somewhere with this so bear with me for a second.

1.3: The TCG is monster Riku foreshadowing

So my first thought when I watched the Nanase twin angst portion of this episode was 'well obviously the ghost isn't real and Riku is just using it to talk to Tenn indirectly' because they are always having indirect conversations like this and it makes me insane, and I do still think that's the idea here, just not quite in the sense that Riku is making things up. Going back to the whole 'ghost is a stand-in for the audience' thing, and assuming that she's saying the things that Riku wants to say and Tenn is telling her the things he wants to tell Riku, then we could say that rather than Riku purposefully having the ghost speak for him, this is an extension of the monster effect. I guess in this scenario the TCG is a real ghost (and a figurative representation of the audience), and Riku is having the same effect on her that Iori says he has on everyone else. He unknowingly projects his desire to connect with his brother onto her, and she tries to help him. Really, the only times we see her after she follows the shopping group to their cabin are when she's helping Riku, with the test of courage and then with speaking to Tenn. This gets convoluted so I kinda doubt it's intentional? But it's fun to think about.

1.4: The TCG is the friends we made along the way

Riku spells this out a bit more explicitly in the game here, but the TCG represents the each of the groups in the series in a couple different ways. I guess one way you could interpret this is that the ghost is meant to be there to emphasise how extraordinary it is that they're all together, but I don't think that really holds up considering how often they end up working with each other throughout the series anyway. What's important here is the idea of the ghost itself, something that can be present and felt even when it isn't physically or actually there. Again, the ghost is the audience - a constant influence for better and for worse on these idols even when they aren't watching, even in their personal lives; and vice versa, the ghost is the idols being able to reach their fans without ever actually knowing them. More relevant to what Riku says, the ghost is the groups to each other - friends, mentors, rivals, pushing them forward even when they aren't standing side by side. You could even say the ghost is ZOOL, friends who aren't here right now but will be someday. Re:vale and Idolish7 as groups don't especially fit the ghost description, but they have their fair share of ghosts - Banri, Haruki, Tenn, Aya, Sougo's uncle. Zero. The list goes on, for Trigger and ZOOL as well, but I think the most important way the ghost analogy applies to this section of the story is with Trigger. Because during the imminent Arc Where Trigger Gets Cancelled™, despite leaving their agency and disappearing almost entirely from the public eye, they're still very much there to their fans and to their friends. So. I kinda forgot what I was saying but to sum it all up the ghost here represents everything that stays with you even when it's far away or after it's gone from your life. Mikanseinabokura and all that. And now that I mention it-

Section 2: The Re:vale House Ghost

Once again, a warning that this section has a brief mention of self-harm, as well as in-depth discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation (which I'm gonna be talking about pretty bluntly the entire time), so please don't proceed unless you're comfortable with all of that!

Like most things in Re:member, the RHG (Re:vale house ghost) makes me insane. Today I am going to attempt to form coherent thoughts about it and it is unlikely that I'll succeed, but try to bear with me. Though it isn't around for as long as the TCG, we have a little more info about the RHG - it's the ghost that haunts the shitty apartment Yuki and Momo live in together in their early days as Re:vale. Supposedly. All it actually does is slam the door of one kitchen cabinet and I don't think that this is definitive evidence of paranormal activity because most houses are just like that. It's all a little bit vague, but according to Re:vale, their house is definitely haunted by the ghost of someone who died in the kitchen, because when they move in there is a mysterious black stain on their kitchen floor. Momo introduces himself to the floor stain while Yuki stares at him in awe and blushes and shoujo filter flowers appear in his eyes. God I hate them. I think the RHG is just a figment of their collective imagination or maybe they're having one of those shared delusions or something. But that's really besides the point because this ghost exists for one very specific thematic purpose: the RHG is Yuki.

And on that note, let's go back and talk about Yuki for a few minutes (potentially hours) before we get to our actual analysis of the ghost scene. Mostly because I just wanna talk about him, but also because I do understand why some people think the 'Momo starts talking to ghosts' part of Re:member is kinda weird and random, and I think at least some of this is important to go over before we unpack it.

A consensus has already been established among Yuki scholars that our subject has autism (Kei et al. 2024). Today, I would like to propose an additional diagnosis: Yuki has depression.

2.1: "I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well."

So, Yuki pretty clearly gets depressed when Ban leaves him. He loses interest in everything he used to care about, gives up on his dreams, blames himself for Ban's injury and disappearance, he's constantly sad, tired and irritable, and he lashes out at Momo (and Kujou, though there are some other pretty strong reasons for that one) and presumably everyone else he knows (I doubt he had a particularly good relationship with anyone else in the first place, but still).

He's grieving here, and it would make sense for him to react this way because of that fact alone. But I really don't think that's all there is to it, because he exhibits these symptoms (among others) long before Ban leaves him. He can't get out of bed in the mornings, he rarely leaves the house if he can avoid it, he has days where he can't eat or sleep, he's underweight and always tired and generally known to lack energy and be slow (or 'lazy') and in some cases listless and despondent. Ban even says that he wouldn't put it past Yuki to start slitting his wrists. And it's subtle, but there's one more really big one that really never goes away for him, even after he finds Ban.

2.2: "I don't need anyone to love me."

I'll get straight to the point. Yuki hates himself. Maybe only a little bit, maybe only sometimes, but it's there. Especially when he struggles with composing - he even says it himself in part 1 of his birthday photobook rabbit chat, almost immediately after saying that it made him want to kill himself but we'll get back to that part.

But it's really everywhere on what seems to be a mostly subconscious level for him, if you know how to look, even from the very beginning:

On paper, this line is just his frustration with being judged by anything other than his music, because it's something he cares a lot about and puts a lot of work into and he wants that to be acknowledged. But I think that if you take it in conjunction with some of the other things he tends to say, there's a little bit more to it.

I dont need anyone to love me. Yuki's songs are worthy of love. Yuki is not. There is nothing valuable about Yuki other than his songs, he has nothing else that deserves any sort of praise, and without them, he's just a useless burden with nothing to offer. He doesn't need anyone to love him - he doesn't understand why anyone would. And Momo does, and he's a good person, and Yuki doesn't deserve that when there's nothing he can actually do for him. And when that starts to change and he starts getting better at showing kindness to others and being there for Momo, he doesn't see it as learning to better express his feelings, he sees is as learning to feel affection and be a good person, because he believes that he is inherently not. As far as he can tell, Yuki is just naturally a bad person and a bad partner who isn't kind and isn't capable of love or compassion, not unless he tries to be. He knows, because he's heard it god knows how many times - even Chiba Shizuo blatantly tells him that neither of them can become good people - and maybe things are different now, but on some basic level it'll always be who he is.

Ok breaking character for a second, imagine you show up to your acting side gig and on the first day Keanu Reeves comes up to you and gives you $300 cash and then later he indirectly tells you that you're a nasty lonely egotistical failure. Now imagine you're Yuki and you have no fucking clue who Keanu Reeves is. He also shows you pictures of his top secret illegitimate son after talking to you for like 10 minutes and you have to lie to him about being straight. I think this is objectively the funniest situation to be in ever. Chiba Shizuo and Yamato both probably have depression also, but I'm not gonna spend any time on it, because every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in Northern Queensland. I forgot what I was talking about. Anyway

2.3: Hey remember that one time Yuki just straight up tried to kill himself

Yeah, that one. As far as I know this is really never addressed or acknowledged again, so we're just gonna take the page-long gag from Re:member at face value and say that after Ban's disappearance, Yuki (almost) attempted suicide, and the only reason he didn't go through with it is because he couldn't find anywhere to hang the noose. And like, yeah you could say it's just because he thought Ban might have killed himself and he's always been the kind of hopeless romantic to be waxing poetic about how "I can't live without you," but at the same time, he had no apparent reason to believe this (even if Ban did have suicidal tendencies I doubt Yuki would've really known), and he was planning to go through with it (I know it's probably just for comedic effect but he left a will. He left a will. He's, like, 20, and surely not the kind of person who would just have something like that in order already). This is also emphatically not the last time or the only reason he thinks about it.

I told you we'd get back to the photobook chat! I think there's also a lot you can infer from all the times he says he'd probably be dead by now without Momo and he wouldn't be able to handle losing him, what with the whole "when you jump, you'd better take me with you" thing. But regardless, this really isn't just that one time that Yuki tried to kill himself. It's suicidal ideation, and it's something he consistently struggles with especially in the few months after Ban leaves him. It even comes up in how he sees the 'paranormal activity' his new apartment:

2.4: "It seemed as though someone had hung themselves there."

Yeah it's the ghost I'm finally gonna talk about the ghost. I'm done with my Yuki has depression rant we can talk about why the ghost is Yuki now. I guess it might be more accurate to say that the ghost is Yuki's depression/suicidal thoughts/Banri trauma/whatever, but either way I think it represents him and he might also be semi-consciously projecting onto it, and I'm gonna go through line-by-line and try to explain my interpretation.

I think if you want to there's definitely room to take the 'usual paranormal activity' super literally and say that Yuki was having outbursts and slamming doors at the time (which would also match up with him being startled by it). I think it's also important to note that this is happening around the time he mentions feeling suicidal and not being able to compose in the photobook chat, but the main thing here is that second line. Even though Momo is always so nice to him, he can't stop himself from getting mad and being difficult and depressed, and he can't return that kindness - he can't even be useful to him.

I've already mentioned how I think Yuki's conclusion about the stain here plays into his suicidal ideation, but let's look at it a little more thematically. It's the way that even though it's glossed over earlier in the manga, Yuki's suicide attempt and everything that accompanied it still follows him, and it hangs (lol) heavy in their house like a ghost. To Yuki, it's startling and eerie - it scares him, and he's expecting it to scare Momo once he sees that side of him too. And it probably does scare him a little, and he hesitates, but he doesn't scream. Again, there's room to interpret this more literally as Momo finding out about his attempt/ideation/depression, or just as him inevitably seeing how he gets on his worse days, but either way the outcome is the same. Momo is starting to know Yuki as a person instead of an idol, flaws and probable mental illness and all, and his first reaction isn't to shy away or start to hate him or want to leave. It's an introduction. He makes it clear that they'll both be staying here from now on, that he's willing to live with the 'darker' sides of Yuki, and to help him do the same. Another point on this that's up to interpretation (because let's be real they're probably never gonna deal with this stuff explicitly in canon), you could see the whole ghost thing as neither of them really being able/wanting to accept that Yuki's symptoms are actually a part of him (and this is veering completely into fanfic territory but now I'm just imagining both of them silently agreeing to blame the things Yuki does on bad days on the ghost) but we've had enough angst for one day.

Everything else lines up well enough with the ghost and Yuki, but it's really his reaction here that sells the whole thing for me. It's a simple gesture, but just by Momo greeting him, being by his side, waiting for him when he comes home, that constant reminder of all his darkest thoughts becomes just another mark on the floorboards. It's not gone, and it probably never will be. But at least now, he doesn't have to face it alone. And it doesn't look so scary anymore.

2.5: "Now I know joy, and the meaning of a smile."

I must confess that I lied to all of you earlier. I'm actually not done with my Yuki rant and also there's a good reason I've been ignoring all the parts of Re:member where he isn't being self-deprecating or trying to kill himself. The end of the ghost scene is only the beginning of the end of this analysis, and the end of this analysis is pretty much just me having a meltdown about Yuki. Also I'm running out of space for images so we're doing some of the quotes like this instead.

After losing Ban, I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well. I could only feel a sting as the wind passed through an empty, gaping hole in my chest. But I breathed as best as I could, and he tried to clear the dirt out of that hole, filling it with his earnest words instead.

Yuki still exhibits a lot of symptoms of depression all the way through the series, like the low energy and the trouble eating and sleeping, and [redacted part 5 spoilers] makes me think there's definitely some sort of connection between his writers' block and his depressive episodes. He still mentions feeling guilty towards Banri in second beat, the suicidal ideation doesn't really come up explicitly but he kinda hints at it on a few occassions, and he's very adament that he was a bad person and still isn't really a good one. But it's like. I don't really know how to put this, but I guess it's not his default state anymore like it was right after Ban left (and possibly before that, too). For the most part, he really does get better, and these things become less intense and fewer and farther between. He would probably say that it's all thanks to Momo, and it is, but he also very much does it of his own volition. Momo refuses so desperately to give up on him, and because of that he makes that choice to keep going by restarting Re:vale with him.

Yuki allows himself to let someone else in and start to love again - his partner, his music, his life. Even while he's thinking that he's just a burden to those around him, he doesn't resign himself to his fate like he might have done in the past. He's determined to become a better person, someone who can be a source of strength for Momo just like he was for him. And in the end, he does, but it's not just that. Now he knows joy. Now he can genuinely smile. And now,

I want to hear them scream my name. The voices that called out had annoyed me in the past. But now, I'll smile, together with Momo, who'll be by my side.

Going back to what I said about some of Yuki's subconscious self-hatred coming through in the way he wants people to look at his music and not at him, I. Cannot finish a sentence. Do NOT think about Yuki learning to love himself and see himself as worthy of love because Momo loved him just that much in a way that he could accept. BAD IDEA. Okay. So. It's Ban's advice and Momo's fan letter that get Yuki to accept that his fans do genuinely love his music in the first place, and I think it's here that it really starts to turn into him accepting the idea that they love other things about him too? Or that he really starts to want it and be happy about it instead of just accepting it? Whatever. I give up. I don't even like Re:vale anyway

That day, I would play the guitar I'd almost thrown at Kujou, because I now knew the power of a song that could not be silenced. I would dry my tears, open the door, and say, "I'm home."

#alabastxr.pdf #new tag just dropped #idolish7 #orikasa yukito #yukito orikasa #not tagging the rest of them #i did not mean to write an entire yuki character analysis here. oops #writign this post killed me im gonna go think about mission now

76 notes · View notes

katyspersonal · 8 months ago

Note

3, 18, 24, 29, 32 for Mico :3

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

3) What first drew you to this character?

Like I said, my first introduction to Micolash was his theme song, paired with a concept art image of him since it was on Youtube. And I already was instantly captivated! My initial impression was that for some reason he was a helpless puppet, and I wanted to know of what exactly! So I've caught up on his lore.... and was sorely disappointed, because back then Fromsoft barely giving information was a novelty for me XD Still, I appreciated the madness, and the mystery. I was really impressed as he felt like someone on much higher level of knowledge, in NO way I felt like he was "silly" or "a joke" x)

18) Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

Both! Imagining him laugh genuinely, not in madness, is one of my most comforting fantasies... ;-; I love seeing him peaceful, happy and, of course, loved! At the same time, I enjoy depictions of him recollecting his humanity only to collapse in tears and horror. Reflecting on how far everything has gone, on the people he had lost (usually Rom), on having lost himself..

24) Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.

This is... a heavy question. Micolash used to frequent my dreams. There is a whole saga about it, in a way, ahaha! I think my very first dream about him truly bound us. I dreamed about being Rom (even before I knew or created anything about her), walking on the water surface of the lake but it had water lilies, and seeing Micolash's back turned as he was praying. I tried to reach out to him and call him, but got absolutely ignored, then I looked down in the water and realised that although "I" perceived myself as a girl, I in reality became a spider. Realisation made me wake up, strangely with extreme nausea and thirst, even if I was not sick or poisoned.

But there were many other dreams a while later after that one. In this order: he invaded my average nightmare about my stepdad saying 'she is ours now' to him; him pulling me down into the sea to drown; him deceiving me with "loving me back" whereas he was hypnotising me to follow into apparently a trap (sort of an attic full of dust, books and mirrors) and I woke up when I snapped out of trance; the dream where he kept tormenting me by putting me through death by Frenzy over and over yet I kept respawning and unable to change my situation, and once I found a Sedative that was my only chance to get out of the 'loop' I've given it to a mother whose child kept suffering the same fate. When he saw it, he spared me and teleported me into a bed to have a rest... while he was very, very harshly scolding me for being "too obsessive" and weirding HIM out, that I was too much for HIM, and that he'd never love me and I was nobody for him?

And the last one in this 'line' was when I was little again, in my room, in the time where a very particular trauma happened to me. Except, it was full of the same fog as Nightmare of Mensis, and Micolash was there, offering to undo it...? Unfortunately, it didn't happen, but I appreciated the offer. Ironic that THE nightmare man would offer to stop my nightmares (or rather, take control over them, as "lesser evil"). And, of course, don't forget semi-regular Micolaurence dreams!

29) Do you get defensive about this character? If yes, then why?

I DO! And sometimes not for a good reason. It is like an instinct! xD Like, at times I am unable to take the joke about him being "just silly unwashed unhinged failure wet cat" fsdhfhds I am dead serious, I actually sometimes pout and want to write a long essay on how WELL AKTUALY he is very complicated and deep and messed up character! This is why other simps don't like talking to me anymore fhshdfshfs

The most defensive I've ever gotten about him was when an anon complimented an artist that (deliberately) prettified Micolash because they liked "aesthetic" or whatever. Anon praised the artist for "fixing" the "ugly" character, without exaggeration, and for making him "actually attractive" :/ But you've been there with me, you've gotten mad at that anon with me, you remember. Saying that someone made the non-conventionally attractive character aKtUaLLy lOoK GuD by replacing him with idealised version true to one's own preferences in appearance.. You know how Gehrman haters say that 'Doll is prettyfied idealised version of Maria crafted to his tastes that in no way reflects Maria's actual vibe'? I think as hard as I cringed at that moment, but in the end, I am able to understand how Gehrman haters feel when gamerbros simp for Doll!

So yeah, after realising that I have this problem of getting too defensive over integrity of my favs, including appearance, I have to restrain myself and rationalise. For example, 'maybe he used to look much prettier and healthier in Byrgenwerth times!' is reasonable! I just... won that trait in 'unlikeable' autistic fan traits lottery. You know, that one. That, if left unattended, will surely one day make the fan completely alone. As anyone is scared of telling them anything in fear of being "corrected". With only the characters they so-much-cherished to keep them company now. What a sad fate. I am sure there will be a better use for it one day than acting as though fictional characters have human rights sighhhhh....

32) If you could make this character a meal, what would you make them?

Well, look at this man, he never eats anything anymore because he's too focused on his research, so ANY meal would be good for him x) But greenish skin tone instantly makes me think of iron deficiency, so I would offer him chickpea spinach curry!

Thank you for asking!!

#bloodborne #micolash host of the nightmare #ask replies #a lot of introspection with this ask meme.. it is admittedly way harder to go through than I expected #personal #micolash is my true 'well aktualy' syndrome hazard and not gehrman lol #with gehrman I am just clarifying many layers of genuine misunderstandings #but with Micolash I have the 'I KNOW him though' hazard and you can see why!! afhdjfhsd #source: my dreams and divine revelations XDDDD help dhfhsd

9 notes · View notes

eaux-fortes · 26 days ago

Text

“So, your life. There it is before you – possibly a road, a ribbon, a dotted line, a map – let’s say you’re 25, then you make some decisions, do things, have setbacks, have triumphs, become someone, a bus driver, a professor of Indo-European linguistics, a pirate, a cosmetologist, years pass, maybe in a family maybe not, maybe happy maybe not, then one day you wake up and you’re seventy. Looking ahead you see a black doorway. You begin to notice the black doorway is always there, at the edge, whether you look at it or not. Most moments contain it, most moments have a sort of sediment of black doorway at the bottom of the glass. You wonder if other people are seeing it too. You ask them. They say no. You ask why. No one can tell you.

A minute ago you were 25. Then you went ahead getting the life you want. One day you looked back from 25 to now and there it is, the doorway, black, waiting.

When I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease a symptom particularly mortifying to me was that my handwriting disintegrated. I used to take pleasure in writing in notebooks, shelves of them, day after day, year after year. Now the upright strokes bend or break or go in all directions, vowels shrink to blobs, slant loses its smooth smart angle, it all looks embarrassing. I scrub out whole paragraphs in shame.

Hard to describe or explain the shame of bad handwriting.

Bad handwriting is ugly. Also it is inauthentic. In the sense it is not you.

Parkinson’s is a disease that turns off certain genes in the cells of the brain, no one knows why. Many physical actions, and some cognitive actions, are thereby inhibited or mangled.

In The Brain That Changes Itself, Norman Doidge writes:

Each cell in our body contains all our genes, but not all those genes are turned on or expressed. When a gene is turned on, it makes a new protein that alters the structure and function of the cell. This is called the transcription function because when the gene is turned on, information about how to make these proteins is ‘transcribed’ or read from the individual gene.

So the brain has its own handwriting. Which depends on a certain protein. I can imagine my poor brain throwing up its hands in dismay to find all the good handwriting protein gone or a mess.

Entering the shatter zone. Hands within hands. Metabolic and metaphorical vectors overlap. Is this confusing? Yes, it is confusing.

What a difference there is between Keats’s handwriting in letters or notes for a poem and his ‘fair copies’ made for publishers or friends. I study this difference. I say to myself, it’s just a matter of attention; turn the page, pay attention, try again. I try again; I am wrong. Life slips one more notch towards barbarity.

Life is no longer fair!

Handwriting is a mark from inside me that I put outside me, often with a view to showing, telling, communicating. It carries what Gerard Manley Hopkins calls ‘the inscape’ out. (Note: Hopkins meant several different things by ‘inscape’, which I don’t know enough about his psyche or his poetics to represent here, but those Dublin notebooks – wow!)

If your writing slants to the right you are a person strongly influenced by your father; procrastinators dot their ‘i’s to the left, etc. Graphology is the study of handwriting as a clue to character analysis. It’s hard to believe it isn’t a good clue.

Scriptural disintegration: also scary as an image of the cognitive breakdown that is another gradual effect of Parkinson’s disease. Vagueness, forgetting, discontinuity, gaps and fissures, slowdowns, stops. When critics talk about the ‘late style’ of Beethoven or Baudelaire, do they mean marks on paper as well as, or as a clue to, hauntings in the brain?

‘In the history of art, late works are the catastrophes,’ Adorno writes in Essays on Music.

Graphologically speaking, the art of Cy Twombly poses an aberration. His paintings feature handwritten words inscribed in such a way as to avoid offering any clues to him or his character or his inside state. Scribbled, scrawled, gauche, idle, unlovely – the hand is no one’s, or everyone’s, or mythic, or just a stain left behind by something written there before. A mark with no person in it. No shame.

Neurologists now seem to believe that the brain is plastic and that certain activities can rewire it, by generating new neurons to replace lost ones or by exciting neurons that have gone idle or slow. Boxing is recommended. I go to a boxing class three times a week. Everyone in the class has Parkinson’s, various degrees of damage. At a certain point in each class (after stretching, shadow-boxing, drills, strength training) the instructor yells: ‘Gloves on!’ We rush to the lockers for our boxing gloves. Putting on your first glove is easy. To don the second glove you have to get help. ‘Don’t use your teeth!’ the instructor calls out. Interesting fact: it is impossible to conjure the black doorway while someone else is putting a boxing glove on you.

Tremor, what is it? Uncontrollable shaking of a limb, identified by the English surgeon and apothecary James Parkinson in 1817 as one of the first symptoms noticeable in people suffering from what he called ‘the Shaking Palsy’.

When I try to produce a complicated movement like a one-two-four-five combination in boxing (left jab, right cross, right hook, left uppercut) I can feel the neurons in my brain struggling and striving. Yes, I can feel it. Now you think I’m crazy. Sorry, neurologically diverse.

Let’s say a tremor is produced by electricity flowing along a nerve path at a speed I don’t like and can’t control. For example, when I am brushing my teeth, which I do with my right arm and hand, where I have a tremor, the toothbrush whams up and down at a savage pace, colliding with lips and gums. But a nerve path has a plane of action. If I concentrate and change the plane – by moving my arm up or down – I can interrupt the flow and still the tremor. Concentration is key. I have to think into the motion.

A man called John D. Pepper has discovered something similar in managing his problems walking. He addresses his problems with walking by walking: fifteen miles per week in three sessions of five miles each at a pace of four miles per hour. Four miles per hour is a faster pace than I naturally want to walk. It is a struggle. I have to pay attention to the motion. That is, motor movements that another person might perform automatically require conscious attention from me. By engaging this conscious-movement technique, Pepper enabled himself to tame the tremor and other motor symptoms. He probably got Parkinson’s in his thirties (although it wasn’t diagnosed at the time) and is now in his nineties. Intensely, he thrives.

Righting oneself against a current that never ceases to pull: the books tell me to pay conscious, continual attention to actions like walking, writing, brushing my teeth, if I want to inhibit or delay the failure of neurons in the brain. It is hard to live within constant striving. It is hard to live within the word ‘degenerative’, which means that, however I strive, I do not win.

Of course everyone is striving all their life. And no one wins against mortality. But there is a difference between striving to (say) learn ancient Greek or do the vacuuming and striving to pay microscopic attention to every instant of a physical act. Studying his own way of walking in Reverse Parkinson’s Disease, Pepper analyses it into nine segments of action and six targets of attention for each step he takes. Check it out. The man is intense.

Writing this essay in a notebook with a ballpoint pen has been a chastening exercise. The handwriting is maybe 60 per cent legible. I do not achieve any Twombly-like liberation from the husk of cliché or the shackles of my personality with this scrawl. The hand is all too much me. And, frankly, a bit loathsome.

But let’s keep it light at the end. Quoting Barthes may lift the tone.

Describing the gaucherie of Twombly’s hand Barthes remarks on its lightness, its inclination gradually to erase itself and fade away in a vapour of innocence. He admires the impulse ‘to link in a single state what appears and what disappears; [not] to separate exaltation of life from fear of death [but] to produce a single affect: neither Eros nor Thanatos, but Life-Death, in a single thought, a single gesture’ – a single tremor?” — Anne Carson, Gloves On! (Float).

#p #anne carson #gloves on #visha yoga #saturnine #anatomical

5 notes · View notes

wajjs · 1 year ago

Note

what would you think of "Let It Happen" and "New Person, Same Old Mistakes", both by Tame Impala for Hal Jordan

like hear me out, both songs have strong Parallax Hal vibes. like in "Let It Happen" : /It's always around me, all this noise/ /But not nearly as loud as the voice saying/ /Let it happen, let it happen/ /(It's gonna feel so good)/ /Just let it happen, let it happen/

now this could be for after the bug retcon, but it could also fit with the loss of Coast City weighing on his mind. In GL 1990 #46, Hal literally says that even before he sees the crater, he hears them screaming.

there is also : /All this running around/ /I can't fight it much longer/ /Something's trying to get out/ /And it's never been closer/ /If my take-off fails/ /Make up some other story/ /But if I never come back/ /Tell my mother I'm sorry/

sdfvgbhnj. I'm totally normal about thses songs and this man. NOw the first half also works for the bug retcon, but the part about /If my take-off fails/? Reminds me of that one comic where Hal is all "If I die flying this plane, they can take the money out of my life insurance. " which wow honey. man is on a mission.

Also you cannot tell me that if Hal's mother was still alive and he died as GL, he would not want someone to make up a story about it. but that's just my opinion on it. really this whole song is great imo for Hal and his character and here are the lyrics to it.

now onto "New Person, Same Old Mistakes" : /I can just hear them now/ /"How could you let us down?"/ /But they don't know what I found/ /Or see it from this way around/ /Feeling it overtake/ /All that I used to hate/ /Wonder what if we trade/ /I tried but it's way too late/ /All the signs I don't read/ /Two sides of me can't agree/ /When I breathe in too deep/ /Going with what I always longed for/

this fits him for the same reasons as above but also Coast City was a place of many ties and laced with history for him. Coast City was where he spent his childhood and a good portion of his adult life. He always found himself leaving it and coming back for some reason or another. But after it's destruction? He can never return home, however much he wishes he could. Coast City was his youth, his golden years, and its death was his undoing. /Feel like a brand new person/ /(But you make the same old mistakes)/ /I don’t care I’m in love/ /(Stop before it’s too late)/ /Feel like a brand new person/ /(But you make the same old mistakes)/ /I finally know what is love/ /(You don’t have what it takes)/ /(Stop before it’s not too late)/ /(I know there’s too much at stake)/ /(Making the same mistakes)/ /And I still don’t know why it’s happening/ /(Stop while it’s not too late)/ /And I still don’t know/

Am I sensing a theme here? Hal stole the power from the central power battery, he fought the entirety of the Corps, he named himself Parallax for god's sake! He went against his moral code to avenge Coast City against the Cyborg-Superman, he went against the Guardians, who he considered masters before this (which, whoo boy is not okay) ,and yet he knows what he's doing is wrong. He knows he shouldn't and he's doing it anyways, whether you want to involve the bug in this or not, it's Hal! pretty much the rest of the song is the narrator trying to justify their actions to the listener and it reads as the world's most unreliable narrator ever. The lyrics are here. im so normal for writing this. this is basically the start of an essay icant- how did I write all this

Okay first of all I love you for sending this ask and I'm sorry I took so long to reply

Then, yeah, I agree that the songs have intense Hal - Parallax vibes, though I have to say to me they're more 90s Parallax than bug retcon. It could be that I am biased, who knows?

(I'm 100% biased)

These lines: "I can just hear them now, how could you let us drown" are particularly poignant when it comes to 90s Hal pre-Parallax (but leading up to it) because YES. He is absolutely haunted by the screams of the people in the city dying. He's haunted by his inability to save them. He's haunted by all the choices that led to him being unable to save them.

(From The Last Will and Testament of Hal Jordan)

Also... "I tried but it's way too late"?

(Green Lantern 1990 #50)

#hal jordan #dc #green lantern #long post #blob talks #blob blahs #parallax

8 notes · View notes

overheaven · 9 months ago

Text

hhnnnnn

MFA program interview tomorrow (it's almost 4am now so technically today but shh)

honestly. i think i’m more nervous about what will happen if i'm accepted this time than the interview itself. the interview... i've been through it once, & my interviewing skills are good if i say so myself. but idk until last wednesday i had more or less accepted the idea that an mfa wasn't meant for me in this lifetime. i still WANTED it but i accepted that i might not get it— who do i get rec letters from 2, 5, 10 years down the line, when i’ve likely been just in the workforce and not a community that could speak to my art & study skills? what do i put in my portfolio if i’m too disabled to get out & find studios & make the art i’d want to create a graduate thesis out of?

but now i've got this opportunity and like. yeah you can be cynical about it & say they're filling a quota or maybe this is their M/O every year to bait more applicants & inflate numbers… but idk i’m trying to stop those suspicious, paranoid thoughts because they’re based in insecurity & hurt.

when a dept. head emails me the day before the deadline and says 'we were looking at past applicants and invite you to apply again; just reuse your previous application' and they offer me an interview the day after i send that and a few new materials, i need to think ‘yeah there's something in my art that they want. that the world wants.’ i do make good art, art that does what i need it to do. and i have worked SO hard. i know what i’m doing and what i want.

plus i got waitlisted last time so i was this close 🤏 i’m not going to be cocky but it sounds like a have a good chance this time. i think about how i got into RISD for undergrad i just couldn’t afford it. i got into RISD! one of THE most illustrious art schools in the damn country! only about 17-19% acceptance rate!!! my portfolio was good enough for that!!!!!

so if given this opportunity i will seize it because i have to. i will be grinding myself to dust while i’m there, i’m sure. i’m still spent from the last 4 years, but i am a fighter and i will claw my way through with torn nails and broken teeth if i need to. i’d rather do that right now while the iron is not exactly hot but still workable rather than wait for a nebulous “someday” or never get it at all. if i get it done now, school can be completely totally DONE for me. there’s nothing above a masters for fine art.

and i feel really good about giving this second chance at this MFA program everything i’ve got, without over analyzing or second guessing because my gf has given me a really stable life and we have a whole plan of where we wanna be for the next few years at least. i have a job too! a pretty ideal one for someone like me!! there is a LIFE waiting for me if i get rejected. i’m not hinging on this for student loans to live on and a reprieve from work that was making me suicidal.

but like. yeah i’ve been having a cart before the horse thing. i'm really scared of the idea of 2 more years of study while being away from a more permanent home precisely because we are so ready & prepared for stability and being somewhere that’s not temporary. i don’t wanna be in transition anymore! i want a home and a place to rest!! i want to stay in therapy! i want to go to doctors and fix my body!

but if i need to, i will.

opportunities have always been stolen from me, by circumstance & finances, having no support. i’ve never been in control of my life. i want to capture this one if it lays down in front of me. i really do deserve it.

and tbh i think it will be somewhat easier because it is just art and some TA stuf. undergrad was agonizing because i was trying to put together senior projects and manage portfolios while also having to fucking write busywork 1-2 page essays every week in each of my other classes and writing manuscripts and being the one to manage group project email chains and scheduling because the 18-20 year old students don’t like to just get shit done. i don’t want to say i’m better than students who went to art colleges but i am built different LOL

#pangs complains #going in circles… i gotta go to bed

4 notes · View notes

cantbelieveyouregone · 2 years ago

Note

hey since you gave me a bunch of questions im gonna give YOU a bunch of them so how about 1, 6, 7, 20, 27, 39, 46 >:)

Damn, Lee, making me face the consequences of my actions. Greetings hello hi by the way :D

1) What was your first exposure to Danganronpa?

There's a few different answers to this depending on the level of awareness I had on what DR was. In like 2014-ish I had a friend cosplay as Monokuma, but had literally no idea what DR was at that point despite them enthusiastically recommending it to me. A few years later, another friend cosplayed as Chiaki, equally clueless then. It wasn't until like lockdown that I saw a play through of DR1 come up in my recommended on YouTube and I was just like "I vibe with detective games right now, sure" and then I experienced The Horrors (cautiously affectionate). Though I did vaguely recall Hifumi's death when I saw it for the first time, definitely hadn't seen the whole game before.

6) Do you have a fan character? Tell us about them!

I somehow don't have a DR fan character yet! Mainly because my brain took a different route and just started throwing my own characters into a slightly modified DR-like scenario as a game design challenge for myself. More focused on changing parts of the killing game formula and stuff. :p

7) You get the chance to reassign five characters new talents. Who do you choose, and which new talents do they get?

Gonna do this with the angle of characters keeping their underlying personality, and force myself to choose at least one per game. Leon is now the Ultimate Stage Actor, and yes he still wants to be a rock star - dude never learns his lines, just improvs flawlessly. Taka is now the Ultimate Lawyer, and my boy does NOT cope with the changed rules of killing game trial mayhem, repeatedly explaining that you can't just do the death penalty like that and Monokuma telling him to stop being a spoilsport. Hiyoko is now the Ultimate Opera Singer, partially because it makes it ten times funnier that she likes Ibuki's screamo, and because I find it very funny the idea of her absolutely dragging someone through the mud with words while singing Like That. Gundham Tanaka is now the Ultimate Janitor. No further comment, imagine what you will. Finally, I'm gonna say that Shuichi is now the Ultimate Marksman. He retains a literal eye for detail, the insecurity from rooty-tooty-thing-go-shooty thing going wrong, and a better background for the trial text going as absolutely buckwild as it does while the player still handles it, as well as better meta for not participating in the fundamental trial stuff near the end. You're asking the Ultimate Marksman to not take any shot.

Not all of those are amazing choices but it is 6am and I'm writing this because I can't sleep lmao

20) What is your favorite aspect of Danganronpa?

For as flawed as they are, the characters are what I latched on to and made me keep playing. Don't have much more to say without going on essay-length rants about individual character analyses right now though. But the characters are definitely a big draw.

27) You’re placed in a Killing Game as yourself (who you are now, no perks). How far do you believe you’d get?

Bestie, I am fucked. I am exceedingly killable and the embodiment of the Barely Hanging In There Star. I'd be paranoid, self-isolate as much as possible, and that would give anyone that figures out where I go an easy place to kill me with no witnesses. If I don't die first, I'm either a dishonourable second, or the least memorable of the two chapter three victims (because I'm assuming the others are still Ultimates, so I'm literally Just Some Guy) that the writers just get rid of because I outlived whatever subplot significance I had.

39) Which character do you feel deserves more love?

This is a hard one to answer simply from the fact I'm very much in my own bubble and don't really know the fandom's most beloved blorbos. Gonna do a few different ones for different interpretations of the question. Korekiyo was done dirty by the writing and could've been an interesting character but instead just feels like a waste of a good motive, so he deserved more love by the DR writers. Leon seems very ignored because first killer, obvious killer once the investigation started and his literal name was at the scene, and relatively shallow what we got in just the original game. So he could probably do with more attention to expand on his character. And I just don't want the TERFs to have Tenko, so I'm gonna say Tenko. Tenko would aggressively support trans rights, you can't change my mind. Deserves more love from non-TERFs.

46) What are some of your pregame headcanons?

I'm going to assume this is mainly about the V3 crew and answer based on that. And because I'm not creative, one pre-game headcanon per character.

Rantaro was a hell of a homebody, but got very good at cooking, and enjoyed trying to create foods from different cultures as accurately as possible. Danganronpa had a hell of a time getting ahold of him for the 52nd game.

Kaede was actually incredibly good at maths. Never saw herself as the creative type because of it.

Ryoma was actually a relatively happy-go-lucky guy, before the Character Writing made him depressed. He was a very good singer, too.

Kirumi was one of the popular kids, but like... the Secondary Character of the main popular kids friends group. She let you copy off her homework because she was equally as confident when she was completely wrong as when she was right.

Angie regularly ran DnD campaigns for a small group of people. She was the glue holding the friend group together, and the one who stopped them drifting apart.

Tenko was studying psychology in her free time in a desperate attempt to try and find a way to outwit her ADHD. Mainly she just ended up going down Wikipedia rabbit holes. Very good on the clarinet.

Korekiyo was just a normal guy. Didn't have a sister. Healthy relationship with his existing family. He had a pet dog that he hung out with a lot after school. He never brushed his hair.

Miu was actually a completely average student, the kind of person you'd never happen to really meet unless someone introduced you. But by God she was passionate about writing. Not that she ever told anyone.

Gonta was very much a gym bro. Neglected a lot of his studies to get back on the grind, but was still quite naturally smart. He paid no mind to people wondering how a teenager like him was jacked as fuck.

Kokichi was very much your archetypical emo kid. Got very good at pretending everything was fine for the sake of not getting bothered by people, and tried to blend into the background. He wanted to hack the school website for fun but couldn't be bothered to figure it out.

Kaito was the guy to go to if you needed to pretend you had a boyfriend for an event. He'd do it for a day's lunch money. Solid C+ student in everything but art, where he was a B+ student.

Keebo, I have always imagined as a regular guy who was augmented into a cyborg masquerading as a robot. Aka, not actually even a robot, but Danganronpa fucked him up big time for their purposes. He was a very sporty kid, but didn't like people drawing attention to it. He just had a lot of energy.

Tsumugi... I find it hard to do a headcanon for her because I can't even agree with myself whether she's actually a teenager or an adult cosplaying as one. But she had a small close knit group of friends that she'd spend at least one weekend a month with.

Maki was really looking forward to studying literature in her higher education. But then someone made her apply to Danganronpa on a dare, and she did it to shut them up, intentionally making herself sound as boring as possible to reduce the chance she got picked. Unfortunately, Team Danganronpa took it as a challenge.

Himiko was the one who you'd hear about doing some wild shit, but then you'd meet her in person and the vibe can only be described as the gif of SpongeBob sitting in a coffee shop looking sad. You could never be sure if the things you heard were rumours or true.

Shuichi was the disruptive one with anger issues. He'd aggressively disagree with the teacher's opinion just because he could and he was bored. The only exception was in Geography. It was the one subject that for some reason calmed him down.

Hope those answers were alright! I'd link to the ask game but I'm on mobile and can't be bothered right now, might edit to add it later though lmao

#answered asks #danganronpa

5 notes · View notes

manwalksintobar · 2 months ago

Text

Gloves on! // Anne Carson

So, your life. There it is before you – possibly a road, a ribbon, a dotted line, a map – let’s say you’re 25, then you make some decisions, do things, have setbacks, have triumphs, become someone, a bus driver, a professor of Indo-European linguistics, a pirate, a cosmetologist, years pass, maybe in a family maybe not, maybe happy maybe not, then one day you wake up and you’re seventy. Looking ahead you see a black doorway. You begin to notice the black doorway is always there, at the edge, whether you look at it or not. Most moments contain it, most moments have a sort of sediment of black doorway at the bottom of the glass. You wonder if other people are seeing it too. You ask them. They say no. You ask why. No one can tell you.

A minute ago you were 25. Then you went ahead getting the life you want. One day you looked back from 25 to now and there it is, the doorway, black, waiting.

Hard to describe or explain the shame of bad handwriting.

Bad handwriting is ugly. Also it is inauthentic. In the sense it is not you.

Parkinson’s is a disease that turns off certain genes in the cells of the brain, no one knows why. Many physical actions, and some cognitive actions, are thereby inhibited or mangled.

In The Brain That Changes Itself, Norman Doidge writes:

So the brain has its own handwriting. Which depends on a certain protein. I can imagine my poor brain throwing up its hands in dismay to find all the good handwriting protein gone or a mess.

Entering the shatter zone. Hands within hands. Metabolic and metaphorical vectors overlap. Is this confusing? Yes, it is confusing.

Life is no longer fair!

‘In the history of art, late works are the catastrophes,’ Adorno writes in Essays on Music.

But let’s keep it light at the end. Quoting Barthes may lift the tone.

#poetry #Anne Carson

1 note · View note

aries-wants-anarchy · 6 months ago

Text

I want to write a lil shitty illegible essay bout something blah blah blah I sucked at writing and grammar in school and dropped out of college

I can’t remember if I said this the other day but shout out to the wives/husbands in public or stores that stop their partner from harassing the workers just trying to do their job. I do online order shopping for people at Walmar and this guy every time he stops me to tell me about how I’m in the way and that my job shouldn’t exist that people are too lazy to shop themselves now and he wishes we never started this stuff and my job isn’t worthwhile. the past few times his wife has called him off to leave me alone and same thing happened with a different guy complaining about me doing my job. The funny part is I try to keep my cart on the sides out of the way for other people and he’s always got his sideways in the way and talking to people forever blocking a whole aisle. But don’t worry I’m the one on the way with my special cart (that is really the same size as a regular cart but taller to hold more totes for orders) like sorry I’m shopping for 8 other people who would be here at the same times as you if they didn’t put in an online order here I can’t help this is my job man I’m here to work and get my job done because I am timed. I don’t mind to stop and help if anyone actually needs help at all but if you’re stopping me just to complain about me or my job I ain’t gonna be happy and I have just walked away from someone once when she was only insulting me for what I was doing like come on really. Even so the online stuff for orders was originally for keeping more people out of stores during Covid to reduce the chance of spreading the virus I’m pretty sure if not something else before that. And mainly seen to be used for people who have a harder time shopping in person themselves like older folk or people who have a disability that affects them being in the store and really need help just trying to get their groceries they need for the week. It’s just a lot of people now use it instead of wanting to come in for various reason and I see a trend of people just saying every person I shop for is just being lazy when they could actually have a valid reason for not being able to come in from disability sickness or even if they work all day and just want to have it ready to pick up after work and get home.

Bottom line. Not everyone who uses the online shopping feature for the store is lazy and cutting corners here. I don’t know what to tell them when they ask why my job was even created and that it’s useless. Dont get mad at me for trying to stay out of your way and do my job simply because I exist in the same area you’re shopping in. Thank you to the lovely spouses that don’t let their partner’s verbally berate me and my coworkers just for working it’s starting to get very annoying and I’m tempted to yell at them.

Random side note it’s funny when I get an earlier shift and I go in and suddenly the lights get darker or the radio goes off and I can’t tell if it’s a cloudy day or if it’s sensory hour and the lights have been dimmed and the radio silenced. And I got to know who’s picking the songs for the day sometimes as the music taste is all over the place half the time and it’s like whiplash.

#bleh #hell if I know man #I just wanted to ramble online for no reason #work makes me a bit annoyed sometimes but I like my job actually

0 notes

notahorseindisguise · 10 months ago

Text

hi just finished writing this essay and i came back up to the top to say THIS GOT SO MUCH LONGER THAN I MEANT IT TO. i just like writing media analysis. you really dont need to read all of it thats ok <3

i was gonna write this in tags but then it got too long cause i am NOT a concise man . anyway i get why you feel that way thats such a valid opinion, but to me it definitely has its charm . it has the "...calling all SAVIORS, TONIGHT" which i really like, i love that chorus. saviors is a response to the world today, and its almost a call to action, id say. god i think this short response is about to turn into a full essay. sorry.

savior is a word most commonly associated in the cultural conscience with the one guy, jesus. to a very large number of people, the word exclusively refers to him . so when they use it in the plural sense, referring to multiple saviors implies that jesus being the savior was not enough to save us. thats also further supported by the line in strange days where they say "jesus gonna quit his job/he promised us forever/but we got less". theyre saying jesus promised hed be our savior, but it wasnt enough to save us forever . thats why hes quitting his job (of being the savior) because he wasnt enough

so "calling all saviors", and the whole of saviors to me, obviously reads as green day saying like ..we need more people actively fighting to save us. we need more saviors. and i enjoy that message. and maybe im reading into it but it kind of feels like green day is implying "cause we cant do this forever", yk? they need someone to take over but theres really no bands like green day around right now

another reason i like this album is it does really well in its position. i dont know if anyone else has noticed this trend, but the penultimate song of most green day albums seems to be a "goodbye song", and then the last song is a finale. its hard to explain what theyre doing, but you can definitely sense it.

for example: homecoming is basically the end of the story of american idiot. the album could end at homecoming and itd still be a spectacular album, but even though homecoming is a goodbye from the album, its not a finale. whatsername however, definitely is. it feels like it wraps up the album.

this post is already so long, so i wont go into specifics, but you can also DEFINITELY and obviously see this in nimrod, definitely in revolution radio, in 21cb, in dookie (to some extent, if you count all by myself), hell i would argue its even present in ¡uno! to some extent. i could talk about this for ages because i think its really cool

but the point is, saviors is really good at being the second to last song. it sums up the idea for the album (need for help during this modern age and its overwhelmingness), its a call to action for that savior to appear, and it also feels like the album could have ended there if they wanted it to.

but it didn't, because green day is smarter than that, because they had something else to say, which is fancy sauce, and fancy sauce honestly to me feels a bit like green day finally admitting to themselves that they arent angry teenagers anymore . what with the "we all die young someday" . they arent actually saying that theyre dieing young, like I've said before, more like theyre saying everybody dies, no matter how old, unfinished. youll never be able to finish everything you ever could have.

and to me that sentiment almost feels like theyre saying, we couldve done more, but we grew older too fast? maybe? im not sure.

sorry prev, this stopped being about you about a paragraph in, so you dont need to read all this, in fact nobody really does, i just wanted to get some thoughts out there cause as my followers know i loooove analyzing media.

final thoughts: saviors the song is a really good song. i love how it fits into the album. it brings the album home while still leaving that room for one more song that fancy sauce fills perfectly. however, for the titular track, its not very shareable. like its not a song that i could just send someone and be like "this encapsulates the whole new album" . and i dont know that there is one for this album, i think. i think you just gotta listen to the whole thing.

ok so saviors (album) i really enjoy as a whole. im a little disappointed in saviors (song) honestly. it works great in its place in the album, i think its a great song as the penultimate moment of the album . but its not that great a standalone ?

like in the context of. if you were gonna recommend a song to someone from an album. usually youd recommend the song that the album borrows its name from. saviors (song) kind of misses the mark there. its not enough for it to be the only song that people know from it, if that makes sense.

and like i just saw someone say in a review of the album, it kind of feels like saviors doesnt have just one song to recommend to a casual listener to get a feel of the album. maybe strange days? or tadikm? those would be my only two suggestions. but like. it shouldve been saviors (song) and i think it had potential. but its missing Something. something small. idk what it is it needs a little more. maybe if they made it like. longer. and added more to it, like a faster section. im not sure ok but it needs more

#green day #saviors

7 notes · View notes

belovedblabber · 2 years ago

Note

I’m so glad to have found other Jod enjoyers on this site. Top John Gaius “makes you want to chew on the furniture” moments?

Okay I can FINALLY take some time to answer this now, huzzah!

I have some other John related asks I'm VERY excited to answer but I have gotten far too sleepy now so I once again have to wait on those because I have a LOT to say and I am incapable of not treating everything like I'm writing an essay and bringing in citations.

But anyway, if I gave all of my top John moments this post would be a thousand miles long so I'm just going to give some of my faves. And this is in no particular order, I'm just putting them down as they come into my head

"Is that the truth, or the truth you tell yourself?" asked Augustine. "What is the difference?" said God. This exchange makes me go INSANE. I can't even be coherent about it right now, I just love how chilling John's response is, and also Muir using God here. I love her very clever choices in terms of what she calls John and when. Calling him God (or by another one of his fancy titles) can either be used for comedy (aka "Thanks," said God) but it can also be used for an absolute wham line like this one and it's just very good. I love it. It's chilling. He's so scary

When Harrow explodes G1deon and everything is going insane and then John just says "Stop" and just freezes everybody. It's such a cool moment. He just STOPS it all, I LOVE it. Also: The Emperor of the Nine houses—the Resurrection—the First Reborn—sat at the end of the table, his plain face splattered with gore, and his eyes were the death of light. Oh my GOD is that such a good line, I am deeply not coherent here but god I love this entire moment, it's such a good reminder of how powerful John is (and then him being like "I did't really want to eat human again Harrow" sdfghj)

The entire section where he reconfigures himself after Mercy exploded him. And then his killing Mercy so casually. But what I really love about it is how stone-cold he is after it all ("I never liked cleaning house all at once") I love how this scene really shows how right Augustine was earlier in the book when he told Mercy "John is never as sentimental as you think." John is so matter-of-fact and it is SO good when we see him turn on a dime like this and start cleaning house (I also love "You acted afraid—" "Acted is operative. But this is not am FAQ.") I am not explaining myself well here but I just love the way that John, who we have seen as this very affable, mellow, often very funny character throughout, turns on a dime and is suddenly so ruthless, right after killing someone who he was begging to forgive him moments before. The absolute callous tone he has ("I didn't offer it to Mercy because Mercy really pissed me off, I'm sorry to say.") is so jarring and it's GREAT. And I've seen people point to this as proof that like, 'oh John doesn't actually love them like he says he does, John is a liar he was faking his affection.' And that is SUCH a boring read. What's much more interesting, and terrifying, is the idea that John can be fully in earnest with his affection, but then just so brutally flip a switch when he's pushed. Idk, it's just a great moment. I am explaining myself poorly here I know asdfghj

"Harrowhark, nobody has the right to know," he said fiercely. "Nobody has the right to blame you. Nobody can judge. What has happened, has happened, and there's no putting it back in the box. They wouldn't understand. They don't have to. I officially relieve you from living in fear. Nobody has to know." I love this line because it's like, John are you talking about Harrow, or yourself? And with the context of NtN this becomes even more clearly John bringing his own baggage to the table. It's so good. I have a whole post brewing in my head on this subject that I am sure I'll inflict on my poor innocent followers at some point

Uhhh, every single John interlude in NtN. I know that's cheating but literally every single one had me going off my rocker.

But even more specifically, John 1:20. That entire section may be my favorite part of the book. I actually had to stop reading for a moment after I finished it (and no joke I did whisper "damn, Tamsyn" out loud and I was, in fact, crying a bit. it was also like, 6am and I had been up all night aserfghj). But seriously I wanted to pick a single part or so from this to highlight but I can't. It's all so good. And heartbreaking. John crying at C— and N— 's wedding, and eating for the first time in ages, the building desperation at the state of the world and how helpless they all feel and that bit of humanity and joy with the wedding, immediately followed by...everything else. "John, your problem is that you care less about being a saviour than you do about meting out punishment." John and Cristabel's final conversation. The absolute heart wrenching stuff with John seeing everyone die and his blurry recollection of it because holy shit it was horrendous. Literally everything else. Also THE MOMENT HE LETS GO, the entire sequence of him trying to take the earth into himself, and then the terrifying description he gives of him eating the solar system and pursuing the departing ships. Also I just really love "All those frightened people. All those run-away rats." I think I just have a very clear uh, 'line read' of that bit in my head, and I love the way he calls them frightened and then the absolute rage in the way he calls them rats. Idk, it's really clear in my head I can't really explain myself better here. But anyway yeah, the ENTIRETY of this interlude makes me go absolutely wild to the point that I cannot be coherent about it.

John 5:4, and everything John says about forgiveness, and what he'll do next, and taking his friend's memories. Again I can't really be coherent about this entire section, but I will give my fave bit from it. "There can be no forgiveness for those who walked away," he said. "Just as there can be no forgiveness for me—even though I rip the very fingers from my hands...throw them into the jaws of the monsters who hunt me...as I run from them across the universe, end to end. Something will satisfy them eventually, but nothing satisfies me. Nothing." I put that last bit in italics because it is maybe my fave line from John. There's just something about it. It's just so tragic and chilling and terrifying and I LOVE it and I love how it is sort of this like, succinct and perfect sum of the tragedy of him. Idk it's just, chef's kiss.

Okay finally, not a direct John moment per se, but this: John loved her. She was John's cavalier. She loved John. For she so loved the world that she had given them John. For the world so loved John that she had been given. For John had so loved her that he had made her she. For John had loved the world. I have so many thoughts and feelings on this that I cannot articulate but oh my goddddd. It's so good. First of all the whole playing off of John 3:16 thing. And just...the wording, the way it all flows. I cannot be coherent about this I just go insane. That ending For John had loved the world hit me like a brick the first time I read it, and continues to do so every time I reread it. There's something so simple and final and heartbreaking about it. I think it sums of the tragedy of the character and his story in one simple line. If that makes any sense whatsoever.

ANYWAY, this is an absolute ramble of an answer I know, but the prompt here was 'makes you want to chew on furniture moments' and I feel like with that vibe in mind the level of not hinged I am here is at least thematically appropriate. Also thank youuuuu for sending me this ask, it has made me very happy

#the locked tomb #john gaius #nona the ninth #nona the ninth spoilers #harrow the ninth #ntn #htn #thank you so much for sending me this ask!

115 notes · View notes

xmalfoyweasleyx · 4 years ago

Text

Infuriating- D.M (smut)

Summary: Draco is mean to you, he always is. But it turned you on, it made you go crazy. What you didn’t know is that it was obvious. What you didn’t know is that Draco knew. And it made him want to destroy your innocence.

Warnings: 18+ SMUT!, cursing, innocence kink, dom!draco, choking, praising, daddy kink and slapping

A/n: I absolutely LOVE this! I love the story line behind all the filthy stuff lol.

Words: 2k

He was a git. He was mean to you the whole time, for years already. You never knew otherwise, you were used to it. He pushes you, he yells mean things like "silly Y/H" or "stupid little girl" or he humiliates you in front of everyone.

But it did something to you. Those mean words and actions, it made your stomach tingle. Something about it made you crave him, it made you want him.

It turned you on.

You didn't know what it was but every mean word, it did hurt your feelings, but it made you wet.

Yup, there was definitely something seriously wrong with you.

Even after what just had happened. You sat in potions, thinking about the event that took place only 10 minutes ago. He literally pushed you on the floor when you tried to walk in the classroom. "Get out of my way" he said while pushing you.

You fell, your head smacked on the cold floor. You were mad this time, so so so mad.

"Fucking Malfoy! You're... your'e.." you tried to come up with a word to describe it, but failed. The anger overtook your body but the familiar butterflies in your belly were there too. It confused you.

Okay, it's not rocket science, you're just in love with the stupid little douche. But why? That was the big question. He was horrible to you.

"Infuriating? Is that the word you're looking for darling?" he answered, adding a little wink in synchrony with the typical smirk. It made you gasp. Did he just wink? Did he just say darling?

It took you a while to obtain. And now you sat here, in potions. Still so confused. Did he want you to get bent out of shape?

You sighed looking at the Slytherin boy, his light hair perfectly styled, his eyes focusing on professor Snape, while writing with his oh so perfect hands. Oh what those hands could do to me, those long fingers...

Fucking hell, why couldn't you just feel those things for some nice boy, someone who didn't push you on the freaking floor!

"Miss y/n, is mister Malfoy here more important than my class?" you heard Snape who was standing right in front of you. Where did he come from?

The whole class looked at you. This was the most embarrassing thing ever. Your face got red immediately.

"I-I-I'm sorry, sir" you mumbled.

"You can write an essay for me as punishment y/n" Snape ordered.

"WHAT? Just because of not paying attention for a second?" you snapped. Snape furrowed his eyebrows.

"You'd like detention instead?" he warned.

"I just mean, this isn't fair sir!" you trembled.

Smart. He's so angry now. "Detention at 5" he sighed.

"Of course she couldn't take her eyes off me, what a pathetic slut" Draco suddenly screamed for the whole class.

God you once dreamt he said that to you while he was pounding into you, but you didn't want it here, not in front of the whole class. They all laughed. It was horrible and you wanted to cry.

"Detention for you too Malfoy" Snape added.

Malfoy gave him a glare, squeezing the parchment in front of him harshly, trying to control himself, to not punch the professor in the face.

He looked at you, your eyes met and he saw the tear falling down. You dried the tear as quickly as you could.

You swore you saw a glimpse of guilt in his eyes.

5 pm

You were scribbling faster than ever, deeply concentrating on your work, trying to end this detention as fast as you can.

And then you heard the door close. Fast footsteps, walking to the desk next to you. Before you could look, you already smelled him. A big wave of the expensive cologne filled up your nose.

He didn't look at you. He was obviously not happy to be here and glared at the parchment in front of him.

"You're still staring y/l/n, didn't learn your lesson?" he hissed.

You glanced away as fast as possible, not answering him.

It made you nervous. You fidgeted with your skirt while tapping the table with your other hand.

"Stop it!!" he snapped. It scared you to hell, it almost made you fell of your chair. You flinched while shutting your eyes.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

Dit he just...

Apologize?

“Why do you always act like this? What did I do to you? Did I do something wrong in the past?” you asked, not knowing where the courage came from.

He stood up from his chair, walking towards yours. To your surprise, he sat down on your table, facing you with a dark look.

“God, you look terrified princess. What’s wrong? Normally you always watch me with that lust in your eyes, when I humiliate you” he whispered coming closer.

You gulped, horny and embarrassed at the sime time. So much was going on in your head right now. First of all, he called you princess, where did that suddenly come from? The nickname went straight to your pussy. Already wet, but that was nothing new with that boy in front of you.

And second, he saw that you were feeling those things? Was it that obvious?

“You.... y-you see it?” you asked not wanting to look in his eyes. You stared at the big clock on the wall. Out of the blue, he grabbed your face.

His fingers pressed on your cheeks when he turned your face to look at him.

“I even see it now” he chuckled while looking you in the eyes. He probably thought you were weird, that something was wrong with you.

What you didn’t know was that Draco knew it all this time. He noticed it the first time a year ago, when he yelled something (not very nice) at you.

He noticed how it made you angry but most of all he noticed how you always gasped for air and how you looked at him with thos doe eyes. Those innocent eyes that were practically begging him to fuck you, to destroy you.

That’s why he kept doing it. He almost got addicted to the way you kept looking at him like that. So he kept torturing you, humiliating you. But you didn’t know he knew, until now. He knew you must’ve thought he was just a git, an asshole. But the truth was he never wanted to hurt you, he was just addicted to the look in your eyes when he did.

The look you were giving him now.

“I know you want me” Draco admitted.

“I, I don’t know what you mean” you stuttered trying to sound convincing.

Draco stood up and stood behind your chair now. You breath hitched when you felt him breathing in your neck.

“Oh no?” he whispered in your ear from behind. His hands slowly made his way down your body, ending on your skirt, while he kissed your neck. He lifted you skirt up gently and pressed his fingers on your clothed pussy, making you gasp.

“Then why am I feeling al this wetness here?” he asked daringly, still rubbing you.

“I still don’t know what you mean” you added, playing the game with him.

“Oh, and what about me taking your panties off? Still don’t know now?” he asked while slowly pulling your panties down.

“N-no..” you breathed loudly.

Before you even realised he placed you on the table, his legs pressed in between yours. His lips smashed on yours and you pulled him closer, your legs wrapped around his pelvis.

The kiss was passionate, it was heaven. It made your stomach twist and spin.

You grabbed his hair and deepened the kiss, moaning in his mouth when he grabbed your ass.

“You have to be a good girl now” Draco whispered when sinking down on his knees. Was this really happening?

He placed kisses on your thighs, going closer and closer to the place you wanted him.

“Please Draco, please” you begged breathing heavily. “Patience princess, patience” he answered, pushing you down on the desk, making you lay down on it now.

He did a silencing spell and locked the door.

You moaned when you felt him kissing your clit gently. He opened his mouth and sucked. His soft lips felt beter than you imagined. “Draco” you moaned. He inserted a finger while still sucking and licking gently. Your legs where trembling and you took off your shirt while he added another finger, making you moan louder.

“Please Draco, fuck me” you hissed. Draco’s pants grew tighter, his erection now painful, he was finally going to do what he wanted to do for so long. Fuck you into oblivion.

But not just yet.

“You want me to fuck you baby? You want me to destroy you the way I like to do? Just like all those times I destroyed you but now for real, now while I fuck you?” he asked huskily, still pumping into you, while holding your legs down.

“Yes please, hurt me, hate me, do what you want but please fuck me” you begged, not even feeling ashamed of it any more.

You heard his belt clicking, giving you the sign it was happening. His dick finally faced you.

God he was big. You couldn’t wait any more and whined.

“Is my little slut a little desperate?” he grunted with a raspy voice.

You nodded eagerly. “Yes daddy” you said.

The name made him crazy, almost made him come there and then. Without a warning he slammed into you, making you scream.

He didn’t move, letting you adjust a little but not for long.

Draco grabbed you, pulling you close to him. He was still standing in front of you while you were sitting on the desk.

You bit your lip while moaning. “Daddy’s going to make you feel good, because you deserve it, because you’ve been a good girl, okay?” he whispered in your ear, while you placed wet kisses on his neck.

He started moving, making you gasp. You grabbed his back and he grabbed your ass, allowing him to move deeper and faster.

Your forehead was on his, looking straight into his dark lustful eyes. You scratched his back, while he squeezed your ass harshly.

“Oh yes Dray, feels so good” you moaned. “That’s not my name” he grunted. “Sorry daddy” you answered looking at him with doe eyes.

He grabbed your neck, his fingers fitted perfectly around it and he squeezed gently. It made you clench around him, making him move faster. A delicate moan left his mouth.

Draco felt euphoric, waves of pleasure and excitement going through his body. He slapped your cheek. Making you gasp but also a filthy moan escaped your lips.

God it made you so horny. The pain turned into pleasure and the only thing you could hear were the fast, slapping sounds and his grunts and moans, even the table under you moved with you. For a second you were scared the table might break.

Without thinking you slapped him back. He was shocked first but a little grunt escaped his mouth. “You like that don’t you? Little slut? Does that make you feel good princess?” he grunted in your ear, making shivers go down your spine. His pace quickened, faster and faster.

“Please daddy, can i come, please” you begged while grabbing his hair and tugging on it. The action made Draco almost come too. This was the hottest moment of his goddamn life.

But he didn’t want it, not yet.

“A little patience, love” he said while turning you around and now pounding into you from behind. You gasped in shock.

He pulled on your hear when you arched your back. Your back was pressed up against his chest now and he pounded into you in an unbelievable pace.

Your head rested on his shoulder while he kissed you neck again.

You tried to not fall by grabbing the desk in front of you. His fingers were digging in your hips, pushing you up and down, clearly leaving bruises.

“Fuck” he sighed in your ear. He saw your ass wiggling while he fucked you. He was close.

“Come for me you pathetic slut, show me how good you are, come for me baby” he grunted now louder. He grabbed your boobs and trusted deep and sloppy now, still trying to hold the fast pace.

That was it for you, and you let go, seeing stars. You screamed and moaned his name. “Fuck dray” you moaned, not even caring about the name anymore. You wanted to say his name, to show him he was making you feel this good.

Hearing you moan his name like that, feeling your pussy clench and your boobs resting in his hands, made him come immediately after you. A loud grunt left his mouth: “Fuck y/n” . You both breathed heavily.

“Good girl” he sighed while placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder

You both stayed like that for a moment, still trying to process what just happened. After a while he pulled out and cleaned you up. You both put your clothes back on.

“Y/n?” he asked with a sudden shyness.

“Yes?” you answered with a little smile on your face.

“Would you... like to go to Hogsmeade with me? This weekend” he stammered, making you smirk.

“Well, if you won’t push me on the floor anymore, or scream at me or humiliate me” you smiled jokingly.

“Oh I’m going to keep that for in the bedroom from now on, darling” he smiled back, adding a wink.

***

#fred weasley #harry potter #fred and george #fred weasly x reader #george x reader #harry potter smut #draco malfoy #draco imagine #draco smut #smut #draco x y/n #draco x reader

739 notes · View notes

dracowars · 4 years ago

Note

could i request a slytherin x draco imagine where the reader and draco have been dating for a long time and she’s kind of a bitch like draco but she also doesn’t believe in blood supremacy so people are just scared of her they don’t not like her but anyways she and draco do share same feelings towards potter and stuff like that so what if draco crossed the line with potter or the trio and ron and harry get super upset but the reader feels bad and goes up to hermoine after class and apologizes because she know draco didn’t mean it to go that far but he’s stubborn and she feels better about the situation but the next morning ron confesses that he had the twins help of putting something in draco’s glass for breakfast but in actuality it was the readers cup and they see the reader drink it and they freak out because ron said that it was a smaller dose of draught of the living death where they could get sick and fall asleep for a long time and hermoine freaks out because she says that the reader apologizes and throughout the day the reader feels super ill and draco is tries taking care of her until that night where she goes to sleep and pansy her roommate and bff (we love pansy) can’t wake her up and she runs to the great hall and tells draco and the trio feels guilty until the twins get an antidote and it ends in fluff? i’m sorry it’s so long idk how else to explain it 😥

unforgivable | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x slytherin!reader

word count: 2,7k

summary: where y/n gets poisoned due to draco's behavior

a/n: finally, i'm back!!! my hand still hurts, but i managed to write this on my laptop so it did not hurt that much while writing. hope you enjoy <3

warnings: angst, use of unforgivable spell, cursing, mentions of death

universe: harry potter

„Only those who really want to inflict torture on their victim and have sadistic pleasure in seeing them suffer, can create the right magical energy for a successful torture curse”, Professor Snape, your teacher in Defense Against the Dark Arts this year, repeats to the entire class, strutting around in front of the blackboard that is only filled with three words. Slowly getting bored, you lean back in your chair and look at the ceiling, which seems far more interesting than the repetition of the three unforgivable curses right now.

Your gaze wanders over the numerous cracks in the ceiling above you until you completely block out Professor Snape’s voice. As soon as you direct your eyes a little further to the left, you stare at your beautiful boyfriend, whose side profile is illuminated by the shining sun. Smiling to yourself, you move closer to him to gently place your hand on top of his, hoping to draw his attention to you.

But without success.

Draco does not move an inch, his gaze intently focused on the front of the classroom while he is listening to the lesson, not even stopping when you finally lay your head on his shoulder and sigh softly.

Since your beloved boyfriend obviously does not want to give you the attention you deserve, you look for something else to do to cure your boredom. Annoying Harry Potter and Ron Weasley seems like a good decision for you. It does not take you long to toss small, rolled up balls of paper against the back of their heads, careful to only throw it across the room when Snape turns his back to the class. Rolling their eyes, they turn to you in annoyance, but you just give them a malicious smile before they try to focus again.

Just like Draco, you despise Harry Potter profoundly. There has never been a real reason for your hatred, but sometimes you meet people in your life that you just can’t get along with. This similarity of Draco and you only bonded you together even more.

You were never very popular at Hogwarts anyway, neither with your classmates nor with the teachers. But you do not care. In fact, you even enjoy it when you walk through the corridors and the first years move aside in fear immediately. If Draco is with you, they even turn around and take a different path. And because the few people you actually do get along with are always by your side, you do not mind having a certain reputation at this school.

“You will write a twenty-page essay about the unforgivable curses until next week”, Professor Snape finishes the lesson and you excitedly jump out of your seat right away, collecting your stuff. Since your hand was still connected to Draco’s, you pulled him along.

“Someone seems to have a strong interest in these curses”, you giggle when you see his almost annoyed expression due to the ending of the lesson.

“And what if it does?”, he rolls his eyes at you and you wait until he has stowed all his things in his bag before you go out into the hallway together. Almost like a reflex, you intertwine your hands as you walk down the corridors of Hogwarts.

On your way to the Great Hall to get something to eat, you walk across the courtyard when you suddenly notice the Golden Trio, as they are called, sitting on one of the benches out of the corner of your eye. Before you can react, they are already standing in front of you.

“Sorry, but you are covering the sun”, you mention snippily and raise an eyebrow, waiting for them to clear the way.

“What was that about earlier, Y/N?”, Ron angrily asks you and you just shrug your shoulders ignorantly.

“Do not make a scene now, Weaselbee”, Draco interferes, obviously annoyed.

“Oh, it is you, Malfoy! I did not recognize you anymore, now that you have suddenly become so meek since your father is in Azkaban”, Harry mocks and you feel the situation slowly escalating. “How does he like his new home?”

If looks could kill, you are sure all three of them would be dead on the spot.

“At least I still have parents, Scarhead”, Draco fires back through gritted teeth and his grip on your hand becomes tighter.

“Depulso!”

As soon as these words come out of Harry’s mouth, Draco is pushed back through the air, his back hitting the brick wall. In shock, you look after him, your legs unable to move. The arguments between you and them happened countless times, but no one has ever raised their wand.

“Harry!”, you hear Hermione scold him, but too late. The anger is clearly written upon Draco’s face as he slowly straightens his posture. Reaching for his wand in a flash, the next few seconds pass in slow motion.

“Cruci-“

“Expelliarmus!”, you quickly interrupt when you realize what Draco was about to say, and his wand flies through the air, landing right in front of your feet. An uncomfortable silence spreads and even Draco does not seem to understand what he was about to do.

“You have totally gone crazy!”, Ron is the first so speak up and angrily stomps towards your still stunned boyfriend, but you quickly stand between them, protecting Draco.

“Ron, stop it”, Hermione talks him out of doing anything stupid until he finally gives in and lets her pull him away. With an disparaging look, the three of them disappear into the next corridor.

“Are you actually crazy!?”, you turn to Draco, who immediately lowers his head, obviously understanding that his actions were wrong. “These curses are called unforgivable for a reason, Draco! I thought you listened to Snape today, damn it!”

“I-I am sorry”, he manages to say, lifting his head to look at you, trying to show you that he is serious. “But you hate them too!”

“And yet I would never harm them physically!”, you reply irritably and shove his wand back into his hand. You then turn away, shaking your head.

“I apologized! Wait, babe-“

“No, Draco. You went too far this time”, you interrupt him and pull your wrist out of his grip. With these words you leave him alone and make your way into the filled Great Hall. Once you arrive inside, you feel the burning and piercing looks of the whole Gryffindor table on you, but you choose to ignore them and walk straight up to their table. Contrary to what you expected, their conversations suddenly fall silent when you walk up to Hermione.

“Can we talk for a moment?”, you ask her with no emotion in your voice or face, but your eyes are almost begging her, and your heart is leaping. After exchanging a few glances with the Weasley twins and their little sister, Hermione nods in agreement and follows you out of the Great Hall into the silence of the corridors.

“What is it?”, she sighs and puts her hands on her hips.

“I wanted to apologize for Draco’s behavior. He really did not mean it, you have to believe me. Draco can be so incredibly stubborn sometimes, but he would never want to harm any of you”, you rant to her while she listens closely.

“First of all, I am not the one you should apologize to, and most importantly, you should not be the one to apologize”, Hermione replies, rubbing her fingers against her temple. “We both know what happens to wizards who cast one of these curse-“

“Shh!” you interrupt her and quickly cover her mouth, suppressing her words. “I know. But- Well I-“

“I accept your apology, Y/N. After all, Harry and Ron were not entirely innocent either”, she explains to you and for a brief moment you see a small smile cross her lips. Right now, you would love to hug her.

“Thank you”, you say from the bottom of your heart. Sometimes it can actually be helpful to approach things with a little kindness.

“I am also sorry about what happened. Let us just forget about it”, she suggests, and you agree without hesitation.

And Hermione really is just as sorry as you are. Especially when Ron tells her about his nasty plan at breakfast the next morning. Hermione did not get around to tell them about your apology yet, which is why Ron still wants revenge. With the help of Fred and George, he prepared a small potion of Draught of the Living Death and gave it into Draco’s glass. But when Hermione finds out about it, it is already too late.

She can only helplessly watch as you suddenly ingest the toxic mixture instead of Draco.

You, on the other hand, did not even notice that there is something strange about your drink and continue to talk with Pansy, while still giving Draco the cold shoulder. Of course, he has apologized a thousand times, but if you do not punish him in some way, he will never learn from it.

Nevertheless, you are quite glad that he does not leave your side for the whole day, because when you feel lightheaded all of a sudden and shortly afterwards pass out, he is by your side immediately, catching you.

“Babe, can you hear me?!”, Draco basically yells in your face before gently patting your cheek, causing you to open your eyes again. Confused and disoriented, you look around, not remembering what happened.

“What- What happened?”, you ask limp, almost not able to get your teeth apart to speak while your eyes keep feeling extremely heavy.

“You passed out”, he explains as he is already heaving you into his strong arms. “I will take you to your room, you have to rest.”

Carefully, he lays you down on the soft mattress of your bed and covers your body with the blanket, completely wrapping you up before he sits on the edge of the bed and closely watches you. You weakly reach for his hand and run your thumb over the back of his hand before a quiet ‘thank you’ leaves your lips, drifting into a deep sleep.

After Draco lingers by your side for several hours silently, inwardly dying of worry, Pansy finally compels him to go to the Great Hall for dinner and then catch up on some sleep himself while she takes care of you. Only when she promises, does he consent and leave your room.

It is already late in the evening when Pansy goes to bed after finishing her homework while keeping an eye on you the whole time. Just as she is about to make herself comfortable, she notices that your chest is no longer moving up and down regularly as it was a few minutes ago.

You do not breathe anymore.

“Y/N!”, Pansy yells and runs to your side, placing her hands on your shoulders to shake you awake. “Wake up, wake up! Damn it!”

No matter how long she shakes your body, you will not wake up even when she slaps you lightly. You do not move an inch and your face looks as pale as that of a corpse. As if you were already lingering among the dead. As if you were in a deathlike slumber. If you had not suddenly started breathing again, Pansy would really have believed that you were gone.

Thereupon, she loses no more time and sprints out of the room, almost falling down the stairs on the way to the Great Hall. Because it is already so late in the evening, there are only a few students sitting at the tables, looking at her in shock when she rushes inside.

“Draco! It is Y/N! You- She just won’t wake up”, Pansy calls out across the hall and hurries over to the Slytherin table. Harry, Ron, and Hermione watch what is happening with a sense of guilt from the other side.

Before Draco can follow Pansy to the common room, Hermione blocks his way, along with Harry and Ron, briefly stopping him, causing Draco to get angry right away.

“Get out of the way! I do not have time for-“

“Listen, Malfoy! She drank Draught of the Living Death, that is why she does not wake up”, Harry interrupts him and Draco’s eyes widen in an instant.

“What?!”

“Originally, it was meant for you! As revenge”, Ron admits, hiding himself behind Hermione, just in case.

“Are you stupid?!”, Draco hisses and takes a dangerous step towards Ron, but before the situation can escalate again, Hermione intervenes.

“Now is not the time! Fred and George created the potion so they will be able to make the antidote as well. We just need a little more time”, Hermione negotiates and Draco reluctantly agrees before they part ways again and he takes the quickest way back to you.

Staying by your side all night, the tension in his body does not fade and even though his eyes start to slowly feel heavy, he stays awake. He will not let you out of his sight and pays particular attention to your breathing, which initially remains regular. When Hermione joins them in your room, a vessel in her hand, he is finally relieved from his suffering.

“This is Wiggenweld Potion. It reverses the effects of Sleeping Draughts”, she explains and hands Draco the potion. "It is not exactly described how to give it to the victim though I once heard that a prince used it to heal a princess. With a kiss.”

Hermione did not even finish her sentence as you can already feel Draco’s soft lips on yours and within a few seconds, your eyes flutter open. Whatever is just flowing down your throat tastes bitter and you look around confused, looking into blurred faces that seem relieved.

“For Merlin’s sake, you are alive”, Draco breathes out, hugging you tightly, so tight that he almost chokes you. Inhaling his pleasant scent, your exhausted body relaxes, but you still can’t remember anything. After you passed out in the hallway, you felt like you were floating on clouds. You could not hear anymore, could not move and for a brief moment you saw a bright white light in front of you, coming closer and closer.

“What happened?”, your voice comes out muffled as you talk against Draco’s shoulder. He loosens his arms around you and takes both of your hands in his, running his fingers over your delicate palms.

“You were under the influence of the Draught of the Living Death. Ron apparently mixed it into your drink by accident. It was meant for me and- I am so terribly sorry. If I had not been so stupid, then-“

“Then I would still be sleeping now”, you finish his sentence and give him a gentle smile, the tension in his face and body disappearing. Slowly leaning forward, you connect your lips again, this time for a proper kiss. “I am not mad at neither you nor Ron.”

In the corner of your eye, you also see Hermione relax at your words, breathing out deeply.

“Did you at least learn from it?”, you lift an eyebrow and look at Draco expectantly.

“I swear that I will never ever in my life even think about uttering one of those curses again”, he explains honestly and raises his hands in defense. “I was stupid and I will apologize to them.”

“Already done”, Hermione smiles and opens the door, causing Harry and Ron to stumble into the room, Ron looking at you anxiously and with uncertainty.

“Do not worry, Ron. I am fine”, you reassure him, but his gaze still wanders between Draco and you, not sure how to judge the scene.

“How about we agree that we still do not like each other, but that we at least do no more physical harm?”, Draco suggests and after everyone agreed and said goodbye, he is the only one who stays by your side.

“You look tired, babe. You should get some sleep”, you mention and take his face between your hands, softly caressing his cheeks.

“You do not seriously think that I will let you sleep alone after all of this, do you?”, he states as he is already making himself comfortable on the bed next to you, pulling you closer to him, protecting you from all the evil in the world. In fact, he does, and keeps his word. After this incident there has never been another one.

470 notes · View notes

justallofmyfandoms · 4 years ago

Text

Revenge is best served Small

Reader x Fred Weasley

Reader x George Weasley

NO TWINCEST!!

SMUT! SMUT! SMUT!

(Just to make this less awkward on all of us, yes I am clearly going through some stuff, and yes everyone enjoys what happens to them in this, even if it's reluctantly. Nothing unconsensual. 6,486 words)

[There’s a comment on this post that perfectly summarises it: “i have no idea what just happened to me all i know is that i will never be the same after reading this” so... read at your own risk my dudes, I am so sorry]

You slam a fist into the common room desk, glaring down at your potions homework with enough anger to perform the killing curse on it. Or maybe crucio would be better, just so the homework can suffer all the same pains it's inflicting on you.

A chair at the table scraps against the floor with someone plonking themselves on it. You look up to see Fred Weasley, leaning over the desk to stare down at your paper, "Having trouble with your potions essay?" He asks, evidently just to piss you off because it's pretty obvious you were.

"Bugger off, Weasley. We can't all pay zero attention during class and still get perfect grades" you focus back on your work, but not fast enough to miss Fred's shit eating grin.

"Still mad I got a better grade on our end of semester test?"

"No!" You snap back, perhaps a little too quickly. It made the ginger chuckle. You and the twins had been good friends since first year, but it infuriated you to no end every time they got a good grade, because you just knew it was all talent and no effort.

The twin crossed his arms and leant them on the table, scooting closer to you, "Not that I don't love the look of anger on your face, but why does it annoy you so much? You've been going on about this for six years"

"It doesn't matter, I just wanna get this stupid essay over with!" you complain, throwing your quill on the desk, "Where's your brother, anyway? He said he would help me."

Fred pats your head and sighs, "Ditched by your own boyfriend? There's tragic..." You knew he was just being a prick, Fred always did enjoyed teasing you, but you hadn't seen George all day. It was beginning to worry you. Besides, you two had made it a tradition to do your potions homework together ever since third year.

"He actually sent me here to apologise. He's at tonight's party up in Ravenclaw tower. The ol' sod's drunk a bit too much to help out I'm afraid"

You sit up and frown, the anger being pushed to the back of your mind out of newfound sadness, "Oh... he could have at least told me he was going to the party..."

Fred nods sympathetically, but eventually grins and scoots closer, "In the meantime, how about a deal?" You'll be getting whiplash from all these emotions. First anger, then hurt, and now Fred was making you highly suspicious. He has that expression he gets when dreaming up a crazy plan.

"If you help me with a little scheme I've concocted, I'll help you finish your essay" he continues since the only reaction you initially gave was a squint.

"What kind of scheme?"

He drums the table, bitting back a smile that might warn you off, "I've come up with a new product idea, but in order to make it, I need a very rare ingredient that can only be found in one place"

You sigh, resting your cheek against your raised fist, "Snape's supply closet..."

He points at you like in charades, "Exactly!"

"How do I know you'll actually help me? Making a deal with you is a bit like making a deal with the devil"

"We'll get the essay done tonight!" He declares, spinning the paper to face him, and picking up a nearby quill, "Then tomorrow, you'll help me get the potion"

After a fair amount of consideration, you nod, "Alright, deal!"

"Remind me again what the plan is?" You and Fred were stood in the women's bathroom on the first floor, a bathroom you generally tried to avoid as it was occupied by a particularly annoying ghost called Moaning Myrtle. She didn't seem to be revealing herself though, which you assumed had something to do with Fred teasing her about her nickname and the... other connotations "moaning" has.

Fred took a small vial from his trouser pocket. The contents were green and bubbling, "First, I'll drink this shrinking potion, then you'll take me in your robe pocket all the way to Snape's classroom and put me on the third shelf up next to his supply closet. I'll sneak in through the hole my brother and I drilled there years ago, grab the bottle and get out!"

"You mean you and George have done this before?" you asked, watching as he set the bottle down on the edge of the sink, taking off his robe to hang it over the cubicle wall

He turned back to watch him roll the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows, "Yeah, every now and then if we need tough to find ingredients"

"And what exactly do I do?"

"Well, while I'm getting the bottle, you keep an ear out for Snape, then when I get out, you grab me and the bottle, put me in your robes and bring us back here so I can have my regrowth potion" he pulls another vial out of his pocket which is red and shiny.

"Sound good" you say, while he plonks the potion back into his pocket, and pops off the cork on the shrinking one.

"Bottoms up" he says, and downs the contents. The second he does, Fred begins to shrink! His clothes, thankfully, shrink down in size with him, until finally, he was no bigger than your pinky.

"Wow!" You exclaim, squatting down, "This is super dangerous. I could step on you."

"Please don't..." Fred mutters, his pitch the exact same despite his small size, just a bit quieter due to the distance and size of his mouth and all that. Damn, TV and movies have lied to you. A look of mild horror suddenly adorns Fred's face as he pulls something out from his trouser pocket. It's so small, you had trouble realising it was his regrowth potion, "Oh bugger! I forgot about that..."

You were tempted to lie down on your stomach and be as close as you could to eye level, but you doubted that would be very sanitary on the bathroom floor, "What's wrong?"

"I just realised I let the potion shrink with me! Now it won't work! It'll only grow me back to the size of a foot, if we're lucky"

"Speaking from experience?"

"Unfortunately." he shivers, "But it's okay, we'll just have to stop off at my room afterwards to get some more. I always make extra if I can afford to"

"Well that's good. Ready to go?"

"Absolutely" he held up his arms and you scooped him up like you would a wand. You got to your feet and were about to place him in your pocket when you noticed you still had your potions essay folded up inside. Fred had helped you finish it last night, the legend. Took you until 4 am to finish writing it.

You put him in your breast pocket instead, for fear that your robes might fly around too much and he might fall out, or that someone might bump into you and squash him. The breast pocket was at least hidden and safe. Besides, there were still two layers separating him from your actual boobs.

You opened the door and peaked your head through, checking to see if anybody was there. Nobody. Brilliant. Hurrying down the cobbled hallway, you B lined to the stairs leading down to the dungeons, and hurried to the classroom door. You and Fred had a free period right now, so that would explain why it seemed you and he were the only ones not in class. Despite how thankful you were for Fred's help, you wouldn't have skipped lessons to do this, it's risky enough as it is. Fast walking now, you peeped your head into Snape's office, where beyond it lay the door to his private stash.

"He better not come, Fred, or I'll squash you"

"Don't worry, he's in his lesson! Only got one potions teacher"

You thought this over and realised that yeah, there is only one... why the fuck do they only have one teacher for each subject? Do they get breaks? That's unlikely seeing as they have to teach all four houses in all seven years over the span of only five days a week. That's mental that is. Regardless, you would have the time to ponder this later, for now you had a potion to steal. You crept into Snape's office and shut the door, pulling out your wand and enchanting "Colloportus" to lock it behind you.

Fred really knew what he was talking about, because there were indeed shelves next to the closet door. The third one up was even covered with books, and when you grabbed Fred out from your pocket and plonked him on the shelf, he pointed to the dusty copy of 'The Moral Implications of Love Potions' and you took it out to reveal a hole behind it big enough for tiny Fred, “This looks like an interesting read..." you mutter, flipping over to read the blurb. There was a mini scoff, and by mini you mean it was produced by a mini person.

"Right, well, you have fun reading that, I'll search for the potion. Be back in a second" and he was off, disappearing through the hole. You sigh, fidgeting with anxiety at possibly getting caught. Doesn't make sense though, Snape is in class, he has no reason to come in here. When do lessons end anyway? You glance around for a clock but don't find any. Serves you right for not wearing a watch... would a watch even work at Hogwarts?

You flipped open the book and began reading a random page: Dr Eglantine proposed the following moral dilemma: if two people love each other but are too afraid to admit to one another, is it wrong for one of them to drug the other with love potion? Wizarding philosophers are torn on this issue, and when intercourse is involved, the grey area becomes even larger—

There was a loud bang from outside, which made your heart drop. You scurry over to the door, pressing your ear against the cool wood, holding your breathe in hopes of hearing better. The sound of students filled your ears, but not just a few students having a free period, but a whole herd of them. That could only mean one thing: class had ended... Oh fuck!

"Fred!" you cry out in the quietest panic you can muster, scurrying over to the hole, "Snape is coming."

"Almost... there!" Fred called between grunts, emerging with the bottle. You snatched it up, preparing to despose of it into your pocket when Fred raised a valid argument, "Don't put it in there! Snape will check your pockets when he finds you here!" He began downing his second potion, growing only to the size of a regular sized hand, "Damn"

"Oh, right" you scan your body for another hiding place, then the thought came to you. You shove the vial up your shirt and into your bra.

"Great, now me!" Fred exclaims, raising his arms up.

"I can't put you in my bra! You're too big, he'll see you!" You scoop him, holding his torso like a toothbrush.

He stares up at you in stunned confusion, "Really? That was what was wrong with that plan?"

You realised you ought to have said 'no you pervert I'm not letting you touch my boobs' but now wasn't the time to curse yourself for it. Your heart was hammering with fear, inspecting your body for somewhere to stash him. The doorknob rattled, and the sickeningly familiar tone of Snape's voice cursed that it was locked. Your time was up, there was only one thing for it! You pulled away the elastic of your skirt and stuck him down there,

“WOAH—!" He yelped, hair practically standing on end.

"Just hold onto the elastic along the outside and we should be fine!" You put him onto your outer right thigh, knowing full well that a pair of shorts and a pair of underwear and a whole thigh were separate him from... that.

"Alohamora!" the door swung open just as you were putting the book back, and there stood Snape, in all his emo glory. He froze, clearly having not expected to find anyone inside. Once the shock had left his system, he straightened up and glared at you, “What exactly do you think you are doing?" his nasally voice grilled, doing nothing good for your nerves, which were in absolute tatters at the moment.

"I was looking for you, w-when someone locked me in the class" you scramble, the lie just about the worst you could come up with. You had to remind yourself that Fred was on the outside of your thigh. Considering he was in your skirts at all, that was the most innocent position he could be in. All he had to do was hold on to the elastic of your shorts and you should be fine!

"Why?" he trudged further into the classroom.

"Why was I looking for you or why did someone lock me in the class—?"

"Why were you looking for me?" His booming voice told you that you were on thin ice.

"Ah yes, well, I... I was having trouble with the essay assigned for tomorrow, and thought maybe you could help me"

Snape closed the door and came to lean on his large desk, "Do you really expect me to believe that one of my students, who has never once asked a question in six years, is now asking a question?"

You frown, so suddenly insulted that you almost forgot about Fred on your leg, "Professor Snape, I ask questions all the time"

"Oh, how unmemorable you are then" he sneers, making you fume, "Regardless, I'm going to need to search your pockets"

You sighed, "Yes, sir"

He stalked over to you, holding out a hand for your robes. You pushed the sleeves off each shoulder, removing it, and dumped it into his palm. As he began to examine it, you felt Fred's shoes scrapping against your skin. It's as though he's trying desperately to find a foothold, no doubt still exhausted from having to push the bottle. If he falls, not only will you be caught, but Fred could get seriously injured!

Again, you knew what you had to do but hesitated to do it. As subtly as you could, you extended the elastic of your skirt, took Fred out, then plonked him into your shorts. His entire body went flush against yours, no doubt the skin tight shorts were crushing him. As long as there was no more risk of him falling... Hopefully it wasn't suffocating him though.

"If it's too tight, move" you hissed, keeping your eyes trained on Snape, who unfortunately heard you.

"What did you say?"

"I said—" you took a sharp breath, feeling Fred's back sink further into the fat of your thigh as he pushed away the area of fabric suffocating him, "If it's too tight, move" you repeated loudly for the two men in the room. "The pockets get a bit stuck sometimes so you have to jostle it around a bit" you added to give fake context to an instruction that wasn't even meant for Snape.

The shadowy teacher was evidently confused, but decided to ignore your outburst. Meanwhile, you could feel Fred inching along the front of your thighs, moving closer to your core. This was fine, as you didn't exactly want him to asphyxiate in your shorts, that would be a tragic way to go. You did hope, however, that he wouldn't overshoot his target, and fall into the abyss between the crotch and pant leg. Just as you had thought it, you felt the man slip. You gasped, pressing your legs a little closer together, enough for him to reach out and grab the first piece of fabric he could get his hands on. Unfortunately for the both of you, that piece of fabric were your panties. You wondered whether he knew what he was doing, when he began to scramble onto it, lying down flat onto the crotch like a hammock. Your question was quickly answered by the sensation of his arms sticking into your folds, and the subsequent wriggling of regret.

Sucking in a deep breath, you had to grip the nearby desk with all your might to stop a loud moan escaping your lips. Regardless of how bizarre and awful this situation was, having anything rub against your clit was an arousal waiting to happen. Poor guy must have though those were your shorts he grabbed before... You were just about to dig in and help, when Snape extended your robes back to you. You'd have to walk, with mini Fred mushed into you vagina, all the way to grab it. Praying he might forgive you one day, you stepped forward, effectively compromising Fred's escape, trapping him between your knickers and crack. Talk about getting stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Very well, I will take a look at your homework" and he rounded the desk, unfurling the essay he had taken from your pocket and sitting down in preparation to help. You swallow, approaching the table as he skimmed through it. He paused for a moment to look up, "Well, sit down" he ordered.

Staring down at the chair, you gulped. Every time you sit down during class, the skin tight shorts you wear, under your Hogwarts skirt, ride up into your ass. Having that happen right now is about as undesirable as they come, "Um, I'd rather not, if that's alright with you"

He blinked and looked back down at your work, "Well anyway, the beginning of your essay seems promising." You smiled, that was the part you wrote by yourself. Just wait until he gets to the part Fred helped you with. There were things he told you on the topic that you swore you had never heard before, you'll look like such an expert! Speaking of, the unfortunate blighter had given up on his attempts to leave, probably worried that his efforts might be thwarted again by your moving thighs. He was now using his hands and knees to keep himself pushed away from you. If you thought about it hard enough, you could convince yourself Fred was just a bumpy pad with a tuft of hair on the end... that moved.

Alright now body, I know you're an animal that listens to its instincts more than its brain, but please don't respond the same way you usually do when something— anything is pressing against you. You thought to yourself. We are not creating any new weird kinks today, thank you very much. Besides, the poor guy is going through enough as it is.

"You think Felix Felicis was created by Felix Williams... and that it contains balm, angel's trumpet, bitter root, and a single strawberry cooked under a full moon" he looked up from your work, pinning you with an expression of cold unamusement.

He must be testing you. Fred's a prankster but he isn't a dick... most of the time. He wouldn't. He couldn't! "Yes...?"

"Your Wolfsbane... does it contain any other nonsense ingredients I should know about?"

You froze, as did the guy in your pants. He must have heard, and Merlin have mercy he was going to pay for what he'd done!

This was just like that incident in fourth year all over again! You were in the showers after a quidditch match and Fred snuck in and stole your clothes and towel. When you realised you would had to run butt fucking naked all the way to your room, you were absolutely furious. Fred was lounging in the common room, along with twenty or so other people, and they all watched as you went gunning for the stairs. George felt awful, having not known his brothers prank, and offered to obliviate anyone who talked about it. It was then you realised Fred could be kind of a dick, and George was the man for you.

Fascinated by just how much Fredrick Weasley had fucked you over yet again, you decided to plop down on the chair opposite Snape. The moment you did, the skin tight shorts became skin tight. Fred's entire body went flush against yours, sending a delicious zap up your spine that attempted to summon a moan you coughed back, “Sorry, I wasn't trying to insult you with my work... I got a friend to help and it seems he was just taking the piss" Fred was moving, his chest bumping and smoothing over your clit. You had to actively try not to squeeze your thighs around him to increase the pressure.

George had bought you a dildo once as a "joke" (he just wanted to watch you wank yourself off, the kinky bugger) and you had run it between your folds, but that pailed in comparison to this. This was far better. Fred is made up of so many intricate parts, each of them squirming against you. His legs, for example, were kneading the source of your arousal. His shoes were in there now, using it as a foothold to try and push his way out. It was heavenly.

"Now I might remember you, as the girl with a poor judge of character" Snape interjected, pulling you out of your sexual haze. If the context were different, you might have gotten mad, but you couldn't bring yourself to at the moment. Not while you were getting oh so sweet revenge on a certain someone, "Well, for starters, dragon bone isn't an ingredient in any of these, so we might as well cross that off the list—" he took his red ink and began marking your paper. His voice became a distant drone in the background as you disassociated once against, focusing on how Fred had began shimmying his way to freedom. If only you could quicken his pace. If only you could rock your hips and fuck yourself against him. You weren't available to move, but he certainly was.

Leaving the one hand there on the desk, to rest your chin against, the other snuck under the table and under the hem of your skirt and shorts. Your fingers hovered above him, a little unsure what to do, until the index finger took initiative and pressed down onto his back through the pants. If he wasn't mushed against you before, he sure as hell was now. His hands slap your folds, but you could feel his head angled up for air. He should be fine.

You experiment by pushing him up. There his chin is triggering the most sensitive nerves of your clit! You roll your hips to savour it, using your thumb to squash his head down and create a more prominent friction. The round nature of his face and bumps making up his features created the most delicious rub. You had to loop your feet behind the desk's legs in order to stop your thighs from crushing him. When he slaps you for air, you reluctantly moved your thumb and pushed his body down. Now his feet were teasing your entrance with the sensation of being filled. You sat down more firmly onto your chair to shove him deeper inside of you. You pushed him up again, then down, up, down, repeating the gesture while his limbs squirmed, awakening new flesh with every swipe. Your middle finger joined the index's perch on his back to pick up the pace. You bit your lip and sucked a deep breath through your nose to push down all the noises that were bubbling to the surface. The only thing that could have moulded you any better than Fred would have been a literal mould. Even then, it wouldn't have been nearly so fun to hump.

You were now rolling him against you in deep tight circles. Your hips were swaying in time, and as much as you wanted to use your whole hand to rub him madly against you, you thought Snape might notice your entire arm thrusting under the table. Unconsciously, your thighs tighten around him, sucking him almost up into you. You lull your head back and arch into him, sighing in bliss. When Snape looked up, you snapped your head back down and froze, biting your fist in order to stop yourself whining in disapproval.

"Does that make sense?"

"Yes sir" what on earth were you agreeing to? You hadn't the foggiest.

"Then don't waste my time with useless garbage like this again. If you haven't produced a coherent, serious essay by tomorrow, I'll be deducting twenty points from your house. Now go!" He pointed to the door.

You had half a mind to snap back, but thought: to hell with him! You had things that needed your immediate attention, and no hooked nose, greasy hair, middle aged virgin was going to ruin that for you! “Very well, thank you sir" you stood up, and to your eternal disappointment, it loosened the strain of your clothes to unstick Fred from your cunt.

Exiting the class, you were devastated to find the hallway packed with students ready for their next potions lesson. The women's bathroom was just around the corner and up the stairs. All you had to do was get to it. You sped walked around the students, opting to push some aside rather than do any fancy footwork and likely squash the man inside of you. From the lack of movement, you guessed he had probably made peace with the situation. Luckily for you though, the movement of your walking kept banging him against you, and you had to stop yourself from dropping to the floor right then and there to grind him furiously against you.

When finally you had made it to the bathroom, casting "Colloportus" on the door for some privacy, you froze at the sight of someone stood inside with their back to you. You recognised those ginger locks straight away.

"George?" you called. He let go of the robe he was examining over the cubicle door and beamed, bounding up to you with all the excitement of a puppy.

"Darling! I've been looking for you everywhere, where have you been?"

What to say, what to say. You doubted rubbing your shrunk brother against my vagina in revenge would be largely acceptable, so you opted to white lie, "Oh, I needed Snape to help me with my potions essay"

George frowned, "Why'd you do that? I could have helped you. Can't imagine ol' hook nose was as fun as me"

"Well maybe if you weren't at that party last night—"

"What party?"

Judging by Fred's immediate scramble to break free, you imagined George was about to tell you something that would spell out very bad news for his twin. To stop his escape, you move a hand behind your back to fist your underwear and hoist it up, making it impossible to give way, "Fred told me you were at the Ravenclaw party last night..."

George's chocolate brown eyes widen in horror, immediately replaced by a scowl as he looked up to curse the air. Little did he know he actually should have been glancing down if he wanted to curse his brother. His squirming against you was making this entire thing leagues better, "What? Oh that prick! I was sick last night with a cold and sent him to apologise to you because I didn't want you catching it while Madam Pomfrey's sweets took effect"

Your cunt was fluttering in anticipation for what long and hard revenge you were about to take. Fred was scrambling so wildly, you couldn't wait to get down to business, "That asshat. He said you were drunk and convinced me to steal some stupid potion with him"

George's anger multiplied, "Bloody hell! I told him not to do that"

"What do you mean?" You were genuinely curious, but your body had literally no care in the world. It was hoisting your pants even higher to keep Fred glued there, wriggling your hips as your breathing became laboured.

George didn't seem to notice, "He was planning on making a thing of love potion with it. Told him it was a stupid idea and he was perfectly popular enough to get anyone he wanted without it. He's got hundreds of girls and guys in the past, I can't think of who he thought he needed to trick..." you consider it for a moment. That was a very good question, it's strange for Fred to care so much about someone... but this could be left for another time.

You hook your foot behind George's leg and brought it forward to wedge it in between yours. Without warning you hopped up and felt Fred immediately sink into your flesh. You doubled over, gripping George's shoulders, and moaning to savour the feel of being entirely and completely touched. George had to brace his hands against the door either side of your head to stop himself from falling over. In surprise rapture, he watched as you were already so unravelled. Finally, the surface you needed. Twins were supposedly two halfs of a whole, and never before had that sentiment rung so true. His leg was the missing component that pushed Fred so absolutely into you, no margin of error. All of him was rubbing against you now as you began humping without mercy.

You thrust yourself forwards and backwards, side to side, around in broad circles. Your folds accommodated him so well, stretching to make sure he always stayed between them. At times you were almost sure you could feel them curling around him, to keep him there as a permanent feature. Tempting indeed, he certainly made walking more fun, and imagine the possibilities in History of Magic. He could get you off under the table without anyone having a clue!

Fred was becoming slick with your arousal, lubricating him into slipping and sliding into usually unattainable flesh you never knew yearned for touch. And because of George's pressure under him, his hold on those neglected areas of your cunt was positively sinful. You throw your head back, your hands on George's shoulders, tugging up and down to massage yourself against Fred.

"What is that bump in your pants?" he finally questioned, having snapped out of his shock.

"Just a sex toy" you reply earnestly, making no alterations to your position.

There was a sudden sting on your clit that made you yelp and stop for a moment. Fred must have bit you... and it was incredible. You wondered whether you could get him to do it again, "It's loves being in there while I fuck myself with it. A tool for my pleasure" You were bouncing up and down like a rubber ball, poking him to react. He still wasn't doing anything to participate, but it was fine. You were doing more than enough for the both of you. All he needed to do was be there as you pounded yourself onto him. Then, your continuous lifting and applying onto him made his shoulder lodge so deep inside of you, you let out a howling moan, crushing George's lips to yours in order to muffle the sheer volume of the scream. He pulls your bottom lip into his mouth, urgently swiping his tongue against yours. You moan and put everything you have into the kiss, allowing him to dive in and taste you. George's lips began to wander, bitting, nibbling and sucking his way to your pulse. His hands came up to hastily undo your tie and shirt, pushing them aside to reveal your bare stomach. As he works your skin into his mouth, creating a glorious love bite on the swell of your neck, his palms fan out across your stomach. You take a sharp breath, as he caressed towards your bra, grinning against you when he notices it's the one he got you for Valentine's Day that unhooks at the front. Lucky coincidence, all your other ones were just dirty.

"I leave you for one night and you become a horny mess" George teases, his hands gliding down your sides to grip your hips. He nudged your legs apart, spreading you wider over your toy. Although he didn't take over the pace, he certainly sped you up. God you could have kissed him for knowing exactly how to whind up your pleasure. A shame then that his mouth was currently occupied with other things. You tangle your hands into his hair as he strokes your nipple with his tongue, pulling it into his mouth and hollowing his cheeks to suck it hard. Your head lulled back to angle yourself further into him, whimpering at how close your climax was.

Seemed Fred was just as desperate to get it over with as you were. He was now doing everything in his power to jack you off. He had somehow managed to grasp your clit between his hands, and paired with your thrusting it created a borderline unnatural amount of pleasure. You were screaming with moans. But somehow more importantly than all that, he had his leg plunged inside of you.

That was it. The idea had been toying in your mind this whole time, but now you knew you needed him inside if you. "Wait a second George" you breathed, perching yourself a little higher in order to stick a hand down your panties, pinching Fred so his arms were trapped by his sides, and sliding him, feet first, through your entrance, until nothing showed of him but his head.

Head back, mouth open in an overjoyed groan, something in you snapped. You didn't even have to thrust him in and out. He was twisting, his arms and legs were flailing in the little space available to them. The walls were hugging his every curve, likely trying to suction him to the back. It was the combination of George flicking your nipple with his tongue and Fred massaging your insides that had you finally unravelling. Hot, slick, arousal came dribbling past what little gaps Fred’s body provided, and you went limp in his brother’s arms with one final howl.

George straightened up to hold you close, stroking your hair until you were ready to stand on your own again, “Nifty toy you got there. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you quite so animalistic” he chuckled.

Wiping the sweat of your brow off on your robes, you tried to make yourself look presentable again, smirking up at your boyfriend as you redid the buttons of your shirt, “Yes, well, nothing beats actual sex with you. Wanna go for a round two in your room?”

He beams, “Course! Want me to wait?”

“Nah, I’ll meet you up there” you gesture him away. Normally you would ask him to stay, but you had something to deal with first.

“Alright, see you in five” all excited, he ran for the door, then turned back just as he had performed the unlocking spell to give you a quick peak on the lips, then off he went.

Rummaging around in your shorts, you sigh as you unclog your hole, the contents stringing against Fred as you lift him to eye level. Merlin he looked awful. His fiery hair was stood on end, gelled up with your cum. His white shirt was practically transparent and clung to his abs as though it have been soaked in water. His eyes were a little bloodshot probably from liquid splashing into them, and his lips were rather swollen, like they would be after making out with someone for too long or too roughly. Just generally, your essence was rolling off of him in big globs. You placed your other hand to your mouth and giggled at his appearance, but he seemed the furthest thing from amused. His arms were crossed over his chest, a highly displeased scowl etched across his face.

“Oh don’t look at me like that!” you say, “If you hadn’t planned the robbery so terribly, or lied to me on twooccasions in the 8 hours proceeding it, getting me to write a whole 4 thousand word essay on things that were complete horseshit, humiliating me on front of Snape and—“

“Alright alright—!” He had softened up a little, averting eye contact, but you didn’t care.

“No! I’m not done!” That got his attention again, “Fred, you have been a dick to me for the past six years! Sure, you’re funny and can be sweet sometimes, but most of the time you don’t know where the line is! You prank me all the time, it’s relentless! And today you bloody pushed me over the edge. I had a perfect means of getting revenge and damn it I took it.”

He shrugs, “Whatever, I guess we’re even now”

You open your mouth to continue arguing but snap it shut when you realised what he had said. That really took much less convincing than you though, probably because you were feeling a smidge guilty for going so far in the heat of anger. It’s not like he orgasmed or anything... well if he did you wouldn’t be able to tell, his trousers were drenched, “Yeah, I guess...”

You waddled to the sink, turning both faucets on for lukewarm water, plonking him in the basin to clean off the sticky residue. You then hobbled into the closest stall to grab a wad of tissue and wipe yourself clean with it. Despite how absolutely caked in the stuff Fred was, you were still drenched. You exit the stall a couple of minutes later to find him completely washed down, "Right, let's get you back to your normal size, but let's put you in my pocket this time..."

"What a shame. I had really learned to call your vag my home" the sarcasm drooled from his lips.

You scooped him up, pinning him with a warning eye, "I'll put you back in there if you're not careful."

"Sorry sorry sorry!" he back peddled, extending his arms like a man about to be hit by an unforgivable curse. You gently lay him in your pocket, and snapped your head up to find Moaning Myrtle staring at you in disbelief.

"Umm..." the ghost muttered, for once in her life (or death) at a loss for words.

"Don't tell anyone what you saw here today, Myrtle" you warned, pointing a long threatening finger at her, "Not like they'd believe you anyway"

She nodded vigorously and dove into the nearest sink.

#giantess #giantess smut #fred weasley x reader smut #fred weasley x reader #geroge weasley x reader smut #fred weasley #geroge weasley #geroge weasley x reader #geroge weasley smut #fred and george #fred weasley smut #fred and george weasley smut #harry potter smut #fred weasley lemon #weasley twin smut #weasley twins smut #weasley twins x reader

1K notes · View notes

rivalsforlife · 3 years ago

Text

Phoenix Wright: The Truth Reborn: Oh No We’re Doing This Again

hi.

Nearly two months ago, I wrote an essay summarizing and making very wild conclusions about the second Takarazuka Musical. I did this about two and a half years after watching the first Takarazuka musical. As such I did not have the full context for many things from the musical and was relying mostly on my memory, which blocked many things from this musical for my own safety. However, just this week, I decided to rewatch it, because I enjoy tormenting myself. I said I wouldn’t write anything on it. Here I am writing something on it.

Here’s the youtube thumbnail so that you know what you’re getting yourself into. And here, of course, is the link. This is the HD version which may be slightly more pleasant to watch. Maybe.

It was not quite as cringe in a funny way as the second musical to me, and therefore this essay may be less funny, but I feel like I’m doing a disservice to people by providing a summary of the second musical while completely neglecting the first. Quite possibly doing this is even more of a disservice. I just eagerly await the day that the third musical is translated because *that* will be the day that I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Either way, I want to write this stuff down so that I never have to watch the musical again out of curiosity.

The following essay will contain major spoilers for both the first and second Phoenix Wright Takarazuka musicals, as I will be using many points from this musical to argue my thesis of the second musical. ... like you were going to watch them anyways.

This one broke 8k. I’m dead inside.

Introducing The Director

Again another disclaimer that I don’t have anything against the actresses or the theatre troupe. I DO have something against Suzuki Kei, who I recently learned is the writer and director of all three of the Ace Attorney Takarazuka musicals, and is quite possibly my mortal nemesis.

This man is the one who brought this monstrosity into the world.

This man, allegedly, cleared the first four ace attorney games *seven times* before sitting down to write these musicals. He played these goddamn games seven times and did not take in a single word. The man clicked through them mindlessly while watching a badly written legal romance drama in the background and got them completely confused. I genuinely have no idea how this man could have played these games more times than even me and yet managed to get so many characters (MAYA!!!!) completely and utterly wrong. This haunts me every day, truly.

This man played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Justice for All, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations, and Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney seven times. SEVEN TIMES EACH!! and was told to create a musical based on the series. He played these games seven times each and you know what he said?? You know what he said?? “This sucks, I’m getting rid of all of Phoenix’s backstory, butchering half the characters, and writing Phoenix/Lana fanfiction, but also rewriting all of Lana’s backstory so that she was Phoenix’s childhood friend, and you know what, I’m changing her name for good measure.”

I think this man played the games seven times each and then hated it so much and was so sick of it he tried to write something that destroyed as much of the series as possible while still being vaguely recognizable. And then somehow it became a massive hit because people like me see this and go “what the actual hell” and watch it, or people who haven’t played the games see this and go “wow what a great musical!” and then he wrote TWO MORE, destroying EVEN MORE every time in his wake, until finally, finally, he stopped after making Edgeworth straight and time traveling into the past to face off against a corrupt Gregory. I guess that was the last straw.

I have to issue a disclaimer here that for legal reasons this is a joke. I don’t actually hate this man and would not punch him in the face if I met him because that would be rude, and he is entitled to his wrong interpretation of the games. I don’t know what his thought process was. But allegedly he did play the games seven times according to the wiki. This whole essay here is satire and not slander and I don’t want to offend this guy if he somehow stumbles across my nonsense tumblr post. At the same time: Suzuki Kei blink twice if you need help.

Anyways half the reason that I’m making this essay is because I want to share my fake ao3 page for this musical. The other half will become apparent later.

Sorry if that’s illegible because of tumblr quality it’s not really important. All you really need to know is that it’s a fake ao3 screenshot for the musical. Also in the author’s note I said he played the games four times but it was actually seven I just remembered wrong because I didn’t want to believe it.

at this point you may be like “Grace shut up and get to the actual musical” and okay, fine, let’s start this nonsense. Also note that I may be referencing things from my essay on the second musical very frequently; I’m not going to force you to go read that though because the fact that you’re reading this is enough of a torment already.

The Musical Begins

Unlike the second musical, this one opens with some narration from Phoenix.

Transcript:

Phoenix: I’m reviewing a particular case at the moment. To me, this case... is one I’ll never forget.

Immediately I think this is important because it establishes that this whole musical takes place in a flashback that Phoenix is reflecting on. Why is this important? Because we know, by the time of the second musical which takes place three years later, Leona is dead.

Knowing that Leona is inherently doomed to die of her Sad Woman Disease paints this whole musical in a different light. It’s not Phoenix reflecting on how he got back together with his lover; it’s Phoenix dwelling on their past together, and the opportunities they had, before her life was so cruelly and inexplicably taken away. We don’t know if Phoenix’s reminiscing takes place before or after Leona’s death... but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was after.

Phoenix, still in the present, starts to sing. “A wave appears on the horizon like a mirage, it trembles, then vanishes. Your voice, carried upon the waves, fades upon the shore, erasing the splendor of the past.”

This line actually shows up in the second musical, sung by Lucia about her imprisoned fiance quite possibly. It’s kind of hard to tell what the meaning of these songs even are. They’re too abstract for me I think. But this line appears very frequently in the first musical when Phoenix is thinking about Leona.

Then we enter the flashback time.

Phoenix inexplicably yells at a newspaper saleswoman. This is not relevant to anything whatsoever. Then Larry barges in to the office, looking for Maya. Phoenix describes him as “A real trouble maker, but you just can’t hate the guy”, the latter part of which I think many people would disagree with.

Well, afterwards, Maya comes in. Phoenix describes her like this while making exaggerated “can you believe this shit” gestures.

Transcript:

Phoenix: She’s as ditzy as they come. Oh, and about the outfit... Apparently she comes from a family of spirit mediums. Try not to make fun of her, okay?

Suzuki Kei personally has it out for Maya and I can never forgive him for it. Maya in these musicals is here for pure comedic relief but it’s not even comedic because I just get so angry. How can you play the trilogy seven times and think this about her?? The girl who figured out DL-6?? The girl who told Phoenix to sacrifice her life in order to find the truth?? The girl who put on a brave smile in order to try and cheer up her younger cousin even after she saw her own mother murdered right in front of her eyes?? That Maya Fey?? Ditzy as they come??????

Ugh. Moving on.

Maya and Larry run off, leaving Phoenix to watch the American Broadcast.

Important things to note here are the Godot mug, the little line up of what I think are the messed up little ace attorney figurines beneath the screen, and the fact that while this broadcast is supposedly from and to America the screen is actually not at all showing America. Like literally almost everywhere in the world except North and South America.

The broadcast says that Leona Clyde, age 24, was arrested for murdering the senator Robert Cole! Leona Clyde -- that’s Phoenix’s ex-girlfriend! He runs off to the detention center.

She is not happy to see him.

Leona: Mr. Wright... I’m not the woman you once knew.

Let’s Play A Matching Game

Sorry for the abundance of screenshots that are going to be throughout this section. Phoenix convinces Leona to let him defend her. Some of the conversation seems... familiar.

Leona: No one would defend someone who admits to killing a senator. I’m waiting for a court-appointed attorney.

Edgeworth: Every defense attorney I’ve talked to has turned me down.

Phoenix: In that case, let me defend you.

Game Phoenix: Let me defend you.

Leona: Don’t be ridiculous!

Edgeworth: Don’t be ridiculous.

Phoenix: I’ll never accept that you’re a murderer. Let me prove your innocence!

Game Phoenix: Huh? Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to prove that Miles Edgeworth is innocent.

Leona: I’ve already confessed my guilt.

Gumshoe: He confessed that he did it! In court!

Leona: It’s foolish to think you can win this case.

Edgeworth: My case is near hopeless, Wright.

Leona: (in response to phoenix offering to defend her) No you won’t! Don’t ever come here again.

Edgeworth: Look, just go away, and leave me alone!

Phoenix: You of all people should know. Once I decide to do something, I see it through to the end.

Edgeworth: Once you start on something, you always see it through, don’t you?

Leona: I never thought that you’d be representing me.

Phoenix: Ah, who could have guessed this day would come?

Edgeworth: Not me.

Phoenix: You believed in me. You saved me. And this time, I swear... I swear I’ll save you!

Game Phoenix: Edgeworth believed in me, and I believe in him. I’m the only one who knows the real Edgeworth. I’m the only one who can help him.

I could’ve done a few more, but tumblr is already threatening to murder my laptop.

So long story short, Phoenix manages to convince his lover to let him be the defense on the case. Then immediately after swearing to save Leona, he starts singing a song, which I’m not screencapping because this is enough:

“As long as there are people in this world, there’s only one path I will follow! As long as there is love in this world, there’s only one path I will believe in!”

Edgeworth sings this in the second musical after saying that he returned to California because of Phoenix. Phoenix sings it now after swearing to defend Leona. You draw your own conclusions.

And then we finally get the opening credits. Eleven minutes in.

Just Pretend This Is Narumitsu Fanfiction

Following the credits, we see a beautiful beach. Couples (exclusively heterosexual, of course,) dance and embrace in the background for some time, before revealing Phoenix and Leona, in the Even Further Past, before the LSATs or whatever the ace attorney universe’s excuse for law school exams are.

Phoenix establishes his absolute hatred of change, an important characterization moment.

Phoenix: The view here never changes, huh?

Phoenix reminisces on when they were kids. Leona’s parents were both lawyers (they’re both lawyers) and sometimes they would be like lawyers with her when she was a kid. This inspired her to also become a lawyer after their tragic death of Sickness. They never specify what the sickness is that caused two people who must be relatively young to die while Leona was in her early twenties at the latest. It may be whatever sickness claimed Leona’s life later. Sad Woman Disease. (Sad Man Disease for her father, I guess?)

Phoenix also talks about why he’s becoming a lawyer.

Phoenix: Watching you chase your dream inspired me to become a lawyer too.

So, it’s not “my childhood friend looked sad in a newspaper” because I guess that makes no sense or is too gay or something. But this is another important piece of Phoenix characterization. His entire life so far has been focused around Leona. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and then Phoenix decided to become a lawyer solely because Leona was becoming a lawyer. Not even to try and get back into contact with her after she moved away or anything; just because he’s so obsessed with her that he wants to have the same career as her, then they can run a Mom & Pop Law Firm or something, years in the future, after years of happy marriage and a few children or like whatever the hell.

Well, there’s a few steps they’ll need to get to that. At this point Phoenix still hasn’t confessed his feelings for Leona. He does so here, on this beach.

Leona tries to protest.

Leona: But I’m pushy, selfish, and only care about my goals... You’d get fed up with me.

Phoenix: That’s what I’ve always admired about you. That’s who I’ve been chasing all these years. That’s the only person... I love.

Sooo, Phoenix, your type is pushy selfish people who only care about their goals...? In the first, older lower-quality video translation it was “only care about my work”, too. Hm. Things to think about.

They sing a little duet together. Then we go back to present-day of what’s technically still a flashback. Whatever. Murder is happening.

Back To The Murder

So some plot things to establish: Leona is the legal counsel of Governor Miller, who is running for president in the AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. After the flashback so that Phoenix has some time to change clothes, they show an interview of him talking about the murder.

Governor Miller: I vow to forge a peaceful country with my own two hands, and to prepare myself for whatever may lie ahead.

Reporters: Through thick and thin, he’s a friend of the people!

The Takarazuka musicals are not very good at hiding their killers.

Phoenix: Oh yeah... It’s almost time for the presidential election, isn’t it?

NEVER FORGET, WRIGHT. THIS IS AMERICA. LAND OF THE FREE! god what even was that line.

Anyways, we meet Gumshoe, who is incompetent once again. Maya runs around the crime scene, picks up the murder weapon, puts her fingerprints all over everything, moves things around, all while Phoenix is like “lol get a load of the world’s stupidest girl” or whatever. But who cares about that.

It’s time to get to the only valid part of this musical.

Edgeworth’s Gay Little Villain Solo

You may have seen this one before.

Edgeworth arrives, but not really. It’s like Phoenix heard Edgeworth was prosecuting and immediately entered a dream-like state, where Edgeworth is heralded by the sound of trumpets in Great Revival. He’s played by a different actress than in the other two musicals, since I think she retired in between the six or so months from this musical to the second. She still plays the role well, though, or as well as can be when you’re written in an ace attorney Takarazuka musical.

Shrouded in scarlet solitude... it’s Edgeworth.

Yes, those are six Edgeworths. Yes, they pick Phoenix up and carry him around and dance with him. Yes, it was probably not meant to be at all homoerotic.

He sings a song that’s called “My rule”. I only figured this out later, but it’s loosely based on a “catchphrase” of his in the Japanese version - in game 1 he says something along the lines of “All I can do is get every defendant declared guilty! So I make that my policy.” In DD in his dramatic anime introduction before the trial, he says “I intend to question the defendant with all I have. For that is a part of my creed.” “So I make that my policy” and “For that is a part of my creed”, to my understanding, are both translated from the same line, which I think is like, “sore ga watashi no ruru”, “That is my rule.” (If I’m wrong, please correct me.) In this song he sings about how he’ll reduce all criminals to ash and such, basically talks about his game 1 prosecuting strategy as “my rule”.

It’s very fun and probably if you want to only watch one number of this musical, it can be this one. It starts about 26:10 in the video I linked.

Once the musical number is done, Phoenix and Edgeworth stare at each other, and the background fades into the courtroom, so court begins. I feel like I should note that Phoenix has not picked up any evidence or talked to any witnesses in this investigation except for Gumshoe, since Maya just moved some things around and then Phoenix had some weird fever dream about Edgeworth which presumably took up the rest of the day.

The Trial, Day 1

Edgeworth: Consider it a prelude to the poignant Greek tragedy that’s about to unfold.

Maya: The real tragedy’s your pompous attitude!

Those are the only screenshots I took of this trial day. Here’s a summary, though:

The trial starts off with Leona confessing, Phoenix says “no I think she’s innocent”, and since ace attorney doesn’t care about the defendant’s wishes he’s allowed to proceed. For some reason Leona lets him do this without complaint.

Gumshoe is the first witness, he claims to have caught Leona red-handed at the scene of the crime, standing over the corpse. Phoenix tries to claim that since Gumshoe didn’t see Leona committing the crime, he didn’t actually catch her red-handed, to which Edgeworth responds “What do you think being caught red-handed means?”

Once Gumshoe is dismissed, Lotta takes the stand. She has a photo of the actual moment of the crime, where Leona is holding a knife in the air in front of the victim.

The Takarazuka musicals like to do this thing where the image is blurry and zoomed out, but then Phoenix will go “I’VE NOTICED A CONTRADICTION” and it zooms in really far as the resolution increases drastically in order to show you the contradiction that is impossible to spot for yourself, because they don’t want people figuring out the mystery in this musical based off of a video game where you have to solve the mystery yourself. Anyways Phoenix zooms in on this photo and sees that there’s blood on Leona’s hand, presumably before she stabbed the victim. How did it get there?

Edgeworth suggests the victim was stabbed multiple times. Phoenix says the autopsy report contradicts that. Edgeworth, uncharacteristically, does not update it to suit his argument.

Phoenix concludes that this photo is not showing the moment Leona stabbed the victim, but the moment Leona removed the knife! ... Which somehow casts doubt on her having been the one to stab the victim. Because as everyone knows, anyone wanting to kill someone would never remove a knife, it’s not like they’d bleed out faster that way, or anything.

And this whole contradiction is confusing because presumably if the victim was stabbed and then the knife was removed, they’d know that happened, because then the knife would not be found stuck in the victim’s body, since the victim was only stabbed once. So this shouldn’t be news to the prosecution that someone removed the knife after stabbing. But the investigation was headed by the most incompetent version of Gumshoe ever, so. sure. I guess no one knew.

That at least manages to extend the trial another day.

This Totally Has To Be Illegal

After the trial, Phoenix goes to talk to Governor Miller, aka Mr. Totally The Real Killer. Phoenix asks him why he decided to hire Leona as his legal advisor.

Basically, it’s because her parents were both renowned lawyers. Her father was a Chief Prosecutor, and her mother was a defense attorney. ... a prosecutor and a defense attorney couple... who does that remind us of...

Phoenix points out that just because her parents were good lawyers, it doesn’t mean she’d necessarily be one. Miller says that, sure, but she is actually really talented, and her law school marks were spectacular. Phoenix says “WHY WERE YOU LOOKING AT HER LAW SCHOOL MARKS”, like it’s somehow? suspicious? for a government official hiring legal counsel to look at their law school marks?

Apparently it IS suspicious because Governor Miller freaks out and asks if this is an interrogation. Before Phoenix can press much further, he gets a phone call, and leaves Phoenix alone in a big room.

So naturally Phoenix behaves like a fully grown adult running a law firm.

If all he did was sit in the chair, lift up a desk lamp, and poke his finger on a pen, that’s one thing. But then he leans over, OPENS THE GOVERNOR’S DESK DRAWER, and finds a knife that’s just sitting there casually. It looks like a butter knife. It’s not anything major. Maybe the dude just wanted to butter his toast?

I mean I know Phoenix will dig around in stuff whenever in the games, but he has no reason to suspect Governor Miller at all, much less dig through his drawer probably full of confidential government documents to lift up a knife that he thinks is suspicious. It’s not even covered in blood or anything?

Naturally Governor Miller’s assistant comes in just then, and Phoenix puts the knife. in his breast pocket.

bud. It may look like a butter knife, but putting knives up against your chest is not a great idea. Much less stealing a knife from a governor?

Well, in his panic, he accidentally knocks over a bunch of books on the desk. The governor’s assistant helps him pick them up, and they find a photo. Look a little familiar?

The photo has the assistant, the victim Robert Cole, Governor Miller, and the victim’s brother who died in an incident two years ago. He’s the “Neil Marshall” of this musical, and he died in what was essentially the SL-9 incident. Same general premise, except it occurred in the courthouse, and the names are different.

AND FINALLY WE REACH THE END OF ACT 1. They do a musical number here which is a weird sort of mashup of the main opening credits song, Edgeworth’s Villain Solo, and the love duet between Phoenix and Leona. They are all such different songs that it sounds a little weird.

ACT 2, FINALLY

The act begins on a sour note with Maya playing with the knife and showing off her characterization, which is one of the most infuriating Maya characterizations you’ll sometimes see around the fandom by people who don’t like Maya.

Maya: Let me whip up my special spirit channeler hamburgers!

sigh.

But then we’re saved (?) by the arrival of EDGEWORTH, who is presumably just here to chat. He asks Phoenix if he’s defending Leona in hopes of winning her back, then says to keep out of it, since it’s a very important case and he can’t understand the gravity of it.

Then Phoenix says this.

Phoenix: Would you be saying that if you were the one on trial? The defendant is in a dark prison, reaching out for hope... Can you imagine the loneliness and sorrow of being ostracized?

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT, EDGEWORTH? CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ON TRIAL AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD DEFEND YOU AND BELIEVED IN YOUR INNOCENCE??

Edgeworth responds to this by essentially rehashing his speech in Turnabout Sisters about how he needs to find all defendants guilty because he can’t guarantee their innocence and all that. Maya gets upset and leaves so that Phoenix and Edgeworth can talk about their childhood in private.

Phoenix once again complains about how people change since nine years old.

Phoenix then says that he has something Edgeworth doesn’t: the POWER TO BELIEVE! Then Maya comes in and tries to spike Edgeworth’s coffee, so he leaves.

The Class Trial

Phoenix explains a bit about Edgeworth and his backstory to Maya. Namely, the class trial. Phoenix was accused of stealing lunch money, Edgeworth stood up for him, but instead of Larry, Leona stood up for him. I guess Suzuki Kei thought “oh the class trial, if Leona stood up for him, it would be so romantic, because she’s a woman, and he’s a man”, or something like that.

Edgeworth wanted to become a Great Lawyer Like His Father! But then he turned cold as ice.

Phoenix: His father got too deeply involved in a case... and paid for it with his life. Edgeworth saw him murdered. He was never the same again. I bet he couldn’t forgive the criminal.

Yeah I bet he couldn’t ever forgive the person he thought killed his father all these years, Phoenix. I bet he really hates that person, Phoenix. I bet he has nightmares about that person killing his father or something, Phoenix.

Phoenix: He vanished, then returned without his mercy or compassion. He had become a monster. When he lost his father, he also lost the ability to believe in others.

So like... one of the most chilling things about this musical is that they never actually solve DL-6. This probably roughly takes place 15 years after DL-6, since they were about the same age when the class trial started, and at least Leona is 24 now. The next musical takes place three years from now, and in it, Edgeworth refers to von Karma as his mentor, implying he’s still around and doing things.

So, in addition to everything else going wrong with this musical, DL-6 still happens, but von Karma never frames Edgeworth for it fifteen years later. The statute of limitations runs out, and von Karma forever gets away with his crime. And Edgeworth has no idea.

What changes did they make to DL-6, though, you may ask? I’m desperate to know as well. In the third musical, which I’ve watched because I hate myself but am unable to fully understand because I don’t know much Japanese, there is a scene where Miles flashbacks to DL-6. It’s abstract, but he makes gun-throwing motions at Gregory, followed by a gunshot sound.

Therefore, in this musical’s internal canon, either Miles Edgeworth shot his father, or he believes he did for the rest of his life.

... moving on.

Phoenix: But he still has his humanity. It’s still there, deep down inside!

At least, if nothing else, Phoenix still believes in him. Even this Takarazuka Musical couldn’t touch that.

The Feenie Sweater

Right after this, Larry barges in, and Phoenix leaves him alone with Maya. The musical tries teasing Larry/Maya, but fortunately, Maya’s having none of it.

Maya: You’re barking up the wrong tree.

Props to this musical for not being as bad as it could have been.

After this, the two sit down on the couch, and Maya asks for more gossip on Phoenix and Leona. Larry launches into a story, which turns into a flashback that ends up being narrated by Phoenix halfway through. This one’s about Phoenix and Leona’s relationship.

This is an interesting line in here, “I’ll guide you to the future”, for it loosely referencing the sort of love ballad Phoenix sings with Lucia in the second musical which is about “I’ll take you to that radiant future”, and he later sings to the memory of Leona right around the time of his big spiral into despair.

I’m sorry if you haven’t read my other essay and just said “wait what” to what I just typed.

Leona was getting ready to move to New York to defend the weak “in the big city”. This is rather strange wording because it implies that California does not in fact have a big city. She says some things in her conversation with Phoenix that probably plant some of his later issues.

Leona: This is the first time we’ll be apart since we were kids.

Leona: We promised we’d always be together.

Leona: I’ll be waiting. Waiting for you to come to me.

Haha. Sure would be a shame... if something were to happen... and they wouldn’t be able to be together anymore...

So some dancers wearing black come in and take off their outer jackets, to symbolize the passage of time. They circle around Phoenix and Leona. In this, you can just barely see, Phoenix is wearing a pink sweater beneath his jacket.

“Oh,” I think to myself, “Is that the Feenie sweater? Are they including it here as a reference to the games?”

Then the dancers keep moving.

THAT IS NOT THE FEENIE SWEATER. That is a pink sweater with a sexily drawn woman on it.

This is the other half of the reason why I decided to go through with making this essay.

This is so incredibly funny to me. Suzuki Kei Who Has Played The Games Seven Times has seen the hand-knit bright pink sweater with a giant red heart on it seven times. The sweater Iris, Phoenix’s girlfriend, lovingly knit for him that he wears all the time even though it is one of the tackiest, cheesiest items of clothing to ever exist. And so, when the costume designers were designing the clothes for College Phoenix Wright, they asked themselves: “Should we include the Feenie sweater?”

and “NO,” someone must have shouted, “NO, we can NOT include the Feenie sweater, it is PINK and it has a HEART on it and it’s TOO GIRLY. Phoenix Wright is a MANLY MAN. He would not EVER wear something PINK with a HEART on it.”

“BUT,” someone else said, “it’s a REFERENCE to the original games, where he DID wear a pink sweater with a heart on it! We MUST include it to pander to the fans!”

“WAIT,” a third person interjected. “I have a BRILLIANT IDEA. We can keep the pink... But to make it VERY CLEAR he is a heterosexual, masculine male... we put a sexy woman on it.”

And Person Three Got A Raise.

Thank god we’re finally halfway done this musical.

We Just Have To Go On With Our Lives Now

There’s plot or something happening. Leona breaks up with Phoenix inexplicably over the phone. Probably because of that freaking sweater. Imagine wearing that. God.

Eventually we go back to Phoenix talking to Leona, and he asks about the Jack Lyon case, which is the rip-off version of the Joe Darke case. Leona is pretty cagey about it, but Phoenix proves that she was there in the gallery that day. Leona refuses to answer, claims again that she killed the victim in her case, and leaves.

This makes Phoenix sad, so he starts singing.

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

If this sounds familiar, it’s the part where I started absolutely losing my mind in the second musical because this line had never shown up before then, I’d forgotten it was in this musical, and Phoenix was screaming it alone in a red room, so I thought he was like desperately resorting to a necromancy ritual in hopes of bringing Leona back to life.

Instead, this line actually has CONTEXT, though it does just end up enforcing my theory. This is Phoenix mourning what he used to have with Leona, wanting to bring the “old her” back, because he’s devastated that people sometimes change. There are several flashbacks of their college days where he’s wearing his Sexy Woman Sweater. He does succeed in winning her back at the end of this musical. Before she dies, of course.

Phoenix in musical 2 still believes that he can bring back what he used to have with Leona... even beyond death. That’s something affirmed by this musical. I’m very grateful to it for somehow managing to enforce my nonsensical theory.

Doctor Ema

After this, Phoenix returns to his office, and meets with someone new.

That’s right! Only now, halfway through the musical, do we actually get to meet the Ema-equivalent to Leona’s Lana-equivalent. Her name is Monica Clyde. She has little rainbow heart stickers on her briefcase, which is the closest thing this musical has to acknowledging that gay people exist.

But what does this little briefcase contain, you may ask? Scientific investigation tools? No.

A full surgical toolset. Because you never know when someone’ll get sick, or when someone will need an entire operation in front of you. I guess.

So yes, Monica Clyde is not a forensic scientist in training, but a doctor! She decided to become a doctor because of her parents, who passed away of The Sickness, and so became a doctor in order to save lives like theirs.

Once more this has much darker and deeper implications than the musical is even aware of, because Monica is so anxious about treating sick people that she carries a full surgical toolset around with her at all times, scared to lose someone like she lost her parents... and then sometime in the next three years, Leona, her big sister, is going to die.

Of what? The strange Sickness that claimed her parents? A car accident? A botched spur-of-the-moment surgery? Whatever it is, Monica was unable to save her, even when she’d been training her entire life for it.

Monica is not mentioned at all throughout the second musical. It’s as if she does not exist.

Because unlike Ema of Rise From The Ashes, Monica is not at the heart of this story. She is, primarily, a plot device here to make Leona not trust Phoenix so that he can angst about their relationship.

What a mess this world is.

The Trial, Part 2

Rather than try to prove Leona’s innocence, Phoenix wants to link the current case to not-SL-9, the Jack Lyon case. He does this by showing this picture.

Senator Cole, the victim, is in this picture. His younger brother whose name I’ve forgotten, the victim of not-SL-9, is also in this picture. They are brothers. It is apparently novel that they are in the same picture, and somehow makes their cases linked.

As well, Governor Miller is in the picture. I guess you could say like... Governor Miller’s legal counsel is the defendant, so that’s another link? Even though the Governor would presumably know a Senator, so this isn’t an unusual group. Right now Phoenix has absolutely nothing to prove that these two cases are linked other than “hey, these two victims are brothers”, but apparently it works. So they spend a lot of time talking about not-SL-9, since Leona has confessed to the murder on day 1 and there is absolutely nothing indicating that she can’t be immediately declared guilty.

They hid the fact that Monica was a hostage in this not-SL-9, meaning that some of the case records were forged. Here’s Edgeworth’s reaction when this comes out.

Edgeworth: This is an outrage! I’m the most influential prosecutor in America! There’s nothing I don’t know!

In RFTA, when Edgeworth learns he’d been using forged evidence to give a man the death penalty, he is devastated, his entire worldview is shaken, he sees himself as a monster who could end up becoming horribly corrupt if he isn’t stopped.

Musical Edgeworth goes “I DIDN’T KNOW SOMETHING???”

It’s certainly strange characterization, but I guess Edgeworth is further behind in his character arc than in RFTA, so... ugh. Fine.

Phoenix calls Monica out as a witness to prove she was involved in the case. This causes Leona to panic, and try to dismiss Phoenix as her attorney, like Lana in RFTA, but Edgeworth interjects to call Monica in anyways. He and Phoenix have a little moment.

Edgeworth: You said to believe in others. I suppose I’ll try believing in you. Try to keep up.

Phoenix: Edgeworth!

So Monica comes to the stand to testify. We get to see this picture of Monica being held hostage, and not-Joe-Darke’s incredible eyeliner.

Lots of it is very similar to the actual RFTA, except instead of the victim being stabbed on the knight with the giant knife, he’s instead stabbed with a regular old knife. Leona still refuses to admit to what really happened, until Edgeworth convinces her to believe in Phoenix.

Edgeworth: Your attorney is a runaway train with a one-track mind. Yet he placed all of his faith in you. Believe in him. You owe him that much.

Leona testifies, and says that when she found the victim, he was stabbed with a scalpel.

Here is where things get weird.

Scalpels Can’t Kill People

So basically earlier in this trial, they talk about how Leona knew that the knife that stabbed the victim was double-edged despite being buried in his chest. The judge questions if this means Leona killed him, but Phoenix is quick to say no, she was searched when she entered the courthouse and couldn’t have concealed a knife.

Yet, Monica was able to bring in her surgical toolkit which contains several sharp knives, scalpels, scissors, etc.

This is the first major contradiction.

Leona continues to say that when she found Monica, and the scalpel stabbed in the victim, she also ran into Governor Miller, who if you haven’t been able to tell yet is the Gant-equivalent of this musical. He offered to help her with the cover-up, etc.

The next bit goes a lot like RFTA. Phoenix accuses Governor Miller, who barges in, says Phoenix has the decisive evidence in his pocket. This is the “butter knife” that Phoenix took from his office when he dug around in confidential documents and stole it for no particular reason. It has Monica’s fingerprints on it! ... And Phoenix’s and Maya’s too probably because they were handling it without gloves, but they don’t mention that part.

Leona cries about how she shouldn’t have trusted Phoenix because he was apparently now blaming Monica, Monica looks terrified, she and Leona have some good sister moments but it’s not as good as it could be if the story was actually about Leona and Monica like how RFTA was about Lana and Ema. But Phoenix has the decisive piece of evidence that can turn this around.

It is this:

Phoenix: Scalpels are made for medical incisions, not stabbings. So how did it stab the victim?

...

... What?

So like. Yes, scalpels are made for medical incisions. Medical incisions often involve cutting through flesh, very easily. As a result, they are sharp. Extremely sharp. As in: their purpose is literally to stab people, very specifically.

Yes, they’re easier to control, so that surgeons don’t regularly stab people how they’re not supposed to be stabbed, but it’s not like, impossible to stab someone in a killing way with a scalpel? Admittedly, I have never tried to kill someone using a scalpel. And I do not have experience using a scalpel for surgeries because I am not a surgeon. But I’m pretty sure, if you take a sharp scalpel, and you stab someone in the chest with it with a reasonable amount of force... they die.

Like, is this a particular kind of scalpel that is not very sharp? Is the problem that the blade doesn’t match up with the initial wound? But even then, we don’t have the original unforged autopsy report or even a picture, so how would Phoenix know what the original wound looked like to say it didn’t match up? And even then why wouldn’t Phoenix say that instead of SCALPELS CAN’T STAB PEOPLE???

This is his decisive contradiction and it makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME!!!

Well Darn I Guess Scalpels Can’t Kill People

This is such a decisive piece of evidence, that scalpels can’t kill people, coming from the man who thought “caught red-handed” does not involve being caught standing over a corpse with blood on your hands, that it causes Governor Miller to confess.

Unlike Gant, who created the murder with Neil Marshall both to ensure that there was decisive evidence to convict Joe Darke, a serial killer who had not left any decisive evidence behind, and gain control over the prosecutor’s office in order to pull similar stunts to get criminals convicted using false evidence, Governor Miller does not have that as his motive. After all, he’s not a police officer. Instead, he ended up accidentally killing not-Joe-Darke, and then set up the incident in order to get Leona on his side. As her parents were both influential lawyers and very respectable, having her and her parents’ reputation on his side could help him become President of America Where This Takes Place.

So, let’s just take a moment to run over some of the things that made the original Rise From The Ashes great, in my opinion. Just for fun.

1 - The heart of the story between the Skye sisters. Lana closing off to protect Ema, Ema wanting to get through to her sister and get back to the way things used to be. Phoenix, in this story, is more of a bystander to this plotline rather than in the heart of it himself.

2 - Edgeworth’s Character Development. Basically RFTA creates an interesting transition between Turnabout Goodbyes and JFA. It causes Edgeworth to re-evaluate everything he knows about being a prosecutor. So quickly on the heels of Turnabout Goodbyes, it crushes the last bit of hope in him. It compares him to Gant, who also hates criminals, and forces him to wonder if his hatred of crime will one day lead to him being a criminal himself. He’s already convicted one person on forged evidence; how many others could there be?

3 - The Ends Justify The Means. ... wait come back, don’t leave. What I found neat about this case was also Gant’s motive. At one point he was presumably an honest person who hated crime and wanted to stop criminals. But over time in the police force, he became corrupted. He wanted to have all criminals convicted. So what do you do when you don’t have the evidence to convict them? Joe Darke was a serial killer who has killed several people and may have killed more if he’d gone free. The only way to stop and convict him was by using forged evidence. Other criminals could hide evidence to get away with their crimes, so people like Gant would make it up to catch them; but then when do you stop? What happens if there’s no evidence because someone is truly innocent? When does the line between “this person is a criminal and I want to stop them” and “I just want to convict everyone I’m dealing with” become blurred? This is also something he shares with Edgeworth and helps to advance his character.

All three of these things are either lessened or outright ignored in this musical. Leona and Monica’s story takes a backseat to Phoenix and Leona’s Love Story, with Monica only showing up halfway through, and mainly as an excuse as to why Leona is withdrawn. Edgeworth doesn’t seem to blame himself for the forged evidence he used, and doesn’t have a crisis questioning his morality over it. And Governor Miller’s motive is purely power. Unlike Gant, who would have become Chief of Police whether he solved SL-9 or not, Miller needed Leona to win the presidency. And instead of asking her to help him with his campaign like a normal person, he just blackmailed her instead.

... How do you play the games seven times and miss this much?

The Case Finally Ends

god. we’re almost there.

The case ends, Leona is declared not guilty but will still face trial for covering up murders and such. Probably less of a sentence than Lana because she was not involved in ongoing police corruption? Either way she’s dead in three years, so she’s got something a bit more concerning coming up.

She’s led away. Phoenix sings a bit about Leona before being interrupted by Edgeworth... who has something important to tell him.

Edgeworth: You awakened within me those once-cherished emotions I had discarded. I see visions of a distant, nostalgic past.

So basically this is the unnecessary feelings of the musical. Something along the lines of “seeing you again and fighting for my former ideals is making me question many things about myself.”

How does Phoenix respond?

Phoenix: Edgeworth... Try talking normally for a chance.

Sure, we were all thinking it, but that’s a little cold, Phoenix.

Edgeworth tries a smooth recovery.

Edgeworth: I don’t do... idle chit-chat.

This doesn’t accomplish much. So he leaves to allow Leona to visit with Phoenix alone. He’s got to go change for something more important coming up.

Leona and Phoenix decide that they’re going to get back together once Leona is done her sentence! They make a promise that is very funny if you know she’ll be dead in three years.

Phoenix: I’ll be waiting. For you.

There are a lot of hugs here, I’m not screencapping them all. There are also several moments where their faces get very close together and like, their nose brushes the other’s cheek or something, but they never actually kiss. Is it because the actresses weren’t comfortable with it (valid), or they thought kissing would be too much for the musical (sure, whatever), or since both characters are played by women the show staff did not want two women kissing on stage (probably the real answer)? I don’t like watching kisses, but I kept bracing myself for one and then it never happened, so.

Phoenix ends the main part of the musical with one last musical number starring my personal favourite piece:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I like to think that at this point, this is present-day Phoenix, after finishing his reminiscing, still desperately wishing he could bring Leona back from death.

But alas, he cannot. And so, after one last daydream of them dancing together on the beaches of California, singing about their love, the musical ends.

Dance Time!

This starts at exactly the two hour mark, if you’re interested in watching what is, once again, one of the only fun parts of this musical.

Seriously, Edgeworth’s actress kills it here, when I first saw this I went “oh, this is why I saw so many people being gay for her on twitter.”

Edgeworth’s song is an encore of “My Rule”, so it’s lots of fun. Afterwards Phoenix gets another fun piece.

Then we get to the love ballad part, which I can probably overanalyze, I feel like I haven’t done enough ridiculous over-analyzing in this essay in comparison to the other.

Uhhh so the fog represents how Phoenix feels lost in this world without Leona. You can see it in the second screenshot separating the two of them, representing the barrier of death between the two of them. Idk it’s midnight I’m getting worn out from having to think about this musical for so long.

But his mourning over Leona’s death becomes even more apparent in the credits, where Phoenix sings that one line again:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I’m not fixing that screenshot, I think it’s oddly fitting, in a way. That’s me right now.

Then at the very end, he sings this song.

Phoenix: I’ll spend... this eternal life... soaring through... the heavens!

Technically, this refers to his name Phoenix, but let’s dig a little deeper. He spends the rest of his life soaring through the heavens... the heavens that Leona went to after her untimely death, perhaps?

Overall, the musical becomes much more interesting when you just see it as a prequel to the second musical. This musical establishes many core concepts of Phoenix’s character: his refusal to believe in the concept of things changing, for one, and also his extreme dependency on Leona who he was never separated from since they were kids and where he based his entire life around her dreams and ideals. All he can think about is her. And in the end, he promises to wait for her in California.

Yet, to paraphrase Miles Edgeworth, all that is waiting for him is her death. Their dream of opening up a Mom & Pop Law Firm will never come true.

Thanks again for bearing with me even though this wasn’t as funny!

#ace attorney #phoenix wright the truth reborn #idk maybe someone wanted to know what the first musical was like without actually watching it?#my essays #my posts #i'm TIRED i'm going to BED goodNIGHT #this is less funny jokes and more actually criticizing the musical #because so much of this is like. wow. you really thought that was a good idea huh #just skip to the feenie sweater part honestly that's the funniest part of this musical

152 notes · View notes