#someone send me an ask about all the goddamn symbolism i put into this

[noxious-fennec]

"الخيل و الليل و البيداء تعرفني ... والسيف و الرمح و القرطاس و القلم" ، المتنبي

Translation: "the stallions, the night and the wasteland know me ... and the sword, the arrow, the parchment, and the pen", Al-Mutanabbi

A tribute of sorts to a man of many attributes.

[shallow-between-stars]

As I said yesterday, I have beaten the game. I've slept on it and chewed the fat of my thought processes and now am ready to talk about it under cut.

Huge endgame spoilers beyond this point.

So let's start with the big one. Varric.

They actually foreshadowed this really well - when I got to that part of the game and heard Varric's voice for the first time in the regret prison I went "Oh," very sadly and the reveal wasn't so much a shock but a confirmation of what I'd already worked out.

Partly this was because I read a lot of fiction and a lot of mystery fiction in particular, and had already twigged that a) Bianca being broken was symbolic, b) No-one else visited Varric except Rook and Varric didn't visit anyone at all c) No-one other than Rook had a Varric nickname and d) During table meetings no-one asked for Varric's opinion and Varric was being very quiet, flat and weird in these moments. Highly social, sarcastic Varric was being neither highly social nor sarcastic. The foreshadowing was enough that I absolutely knew something was off from quite early in the game and the reveal, for me, was much more of a confirmation of what I already half-knew than so much a reveal.

I don't like that it was Solas manipulating Rook, I think the story beat would have been a lot stronger if it was Rook failing to deal with their trauma properly and would have been more meaningful without the 'it was blood magic!' handwave but I can also see why the devteam put it in the way they did.

Moving on from that.

My endgame.

I chose Davrin, without realising what that choice would end with and goddamn was that a gut punch. It wasn't helped by the fact that Davrin was my Rook's best friend out of all of the companions. And Assaan added salt to the wound. I'm clinging to "They haven't found their bodies" like it's a lifeline although I know there's probably going to be something that makes "They haven't found their bodies" even worse in potential DLC like "They've been turned into Darkspawn Emissaries". I was literally ready to restart the whole mission to save him and send Harding but decided to google it before I did and -yeah- the game only took my two absolute favourite cast members and went "Pick one."

And fuck me, I'm still questioning that choice now and wanting to go back and change it but I also don't want to do that to Harding, because she's my best girl and has been my best girl for ten years.

I chose Bellara to break the wards, and she survived. There was something eminently satisfying about Bellara looking at Elgar'nan and shouting "You are not my God!" At him with this mix of anger and betrayal. This was definitely helped by the fact that my Rook wore Elgar'nan and I can imagine the affront that the arrogant prick would have experienced with "I was defeated by a slave???? My slave???" Which kind of added to the sweet irony.

I must admit though, when I saw Bellara get taken I shouted in dismay. I chose Bellara mostly because Neve was hardened and I didn't want Neve to die and then - well. I wanted to punt someone into the sun for that.

I managed to get through without losing anyone else - I chose Taash for the golem fight and to protect the Inquisitor, Emmrich to dismantle the wards (again I didn't choose Neve because hardened) and Lucanis to assassinate the mage (because, well, assassin.) Everyone had their missions completed, so they were all Heroes of the Veilguard, and the lowest rating I had with the factions was with Shadow Dragons who were only just at three stars (because I found a shop in the crossroads where I could sell valuables and get SD reputation and exploited the FUCK out of it after choosing to save Treviso.) All my other factions were maxed out. Because of my completionist tendencies.

Romance

I chose to romance Lucanis, and thought it was a really satisfying, if basic, story. I would have loved to see more layers in terms of Lucanis housing Spite, and does Rook love Lucanis in spite (lol) of that, or do they embrace that? I've headcanoned that my Rook has her boyfriend, Lucanis, and her other boyfriend Spite who sometimes possesses her boyfriend and they're in a slightly-unhealthy polycule, but it would have been nice to see the game treat Spite as less of an afterthought (not even really even an inconvenience, just there) and explore that with a tighter hand. But, y'know, that's what fanfiction is for!

And like... the game indulged my wing!Kink, what can I say.

In terms of the other companions - Taash hooked up with Harding which was ridiculously cute, and absolutely I've headcanoned that my Inquisitor and Lace are swapping stories about their respective qunari. And while they're at it they discover that the two are really similar and timelines are such that a young!Bull could potentially have had an accident in Par Vollen and we never found out who Taash's father is and the conversation gets a little awkward quite fast. Sorry, what? Oh. I think my speculation is showing.

Emmrich caught me by surprise by starting a relationship with Strife, but it was also really cute. I love when stories have older people finding romance - it's a reminder that it's not just for the young. And then Strife worrying about Emmrich in the final mission was icing on the cake.

Other choices

I'm not going to outline every choice I made in detail, but the cliffsnotes are:

I had Lucanis spare Illario for Lucanis' sake and because I thought that choice might mellow Spite out a bit. If it weren't for Spite, Illario would have been DEAD dead, and I'm still quite surprised that Lucanis bowed to my Rook's wishes here. Lucanis isn't a wee woobie rookie assassin, I don't think that my Rook's opinion on this choice should have mattered. But, y'know, game mechanics.

Taash embraced their Rivaini heritage. Of all the companions, Taash felt the least likely to make their own choice, given that they are early-twenties at the oldest. (I'm headcanoning like... 23, 24, to make me feel less icky about the fact that Harding is in her thirties.) And yeah, I've seen a lot of the comments going around that giving a nonbinary character a binary choice like that is... not great... but I'm also trying to remember that Taash's writer is nonbinary, and they were written as baby's-first-experience-with-a-nonbinary-person in order to appeal to a mass audience. Taash is written to be a character to teach people about enbies, rather than to be about every single enby experience out there, which, you know, every experience is different and there's only so much you can explain in half an hour of game content.

I gave the griffins to the Wardens, but if I played the game through again as Nala I would change this choice. Maybe. Because unchecked Blight and Darkspawn with no archdemons controlling them sounds like a bad time.

I got Harding to embrace her compassion because she's fucking Harding. This one was a no-brainer for me.

I got Emmrich to chose Manfred because I felt that Emmrich wasn't really becoming a lich because he wanted to, he was becoming one because he was afraid of death and that's not healthy. Also because Manfred.

I made Bell destroy the archive. Mostly because at that point my Rook was all "THIS IS SHIT. ANCIENT ELVES ARE SHIT. EVERYTHING ANCIENT MAGIC RELATED IS KILLING PEOPLE."

And Neve didn't give me a choice in her mission.

Final thoughts

I said yesterday that this game is a Mass Effect game in Dragon Age cosplay, and I stand by that. I enjoyed the game while I was playing it and will probably play it again at another point, but right now I'm in a bit of a hangover from it. It's very, very raw and the edges are a bit sore when I poke them at the thought of playing through the last mission again. I'mma let it sit for a bit before I pick it up again, if I do.

For now though, it wasn't a bad game, it was actually really fun! I'm a bit disappointed that all I got in terms of Bull content was a lousy letter but that's a step up from a singular name drop (Fenris) and not being mentioned by the game at all (Zevran) that I've gotten before. I also went in expecting to get nothing from Bull given that FPJ is on the outs with the studio and Bull could, y'know, die in Inquisition.

I think a lot of the issues people are having is because they have solidly embraced Death of the Author in the past ten years, and in this case the Author reminded us that they are Very Much Alive and are still Making The Same Choices as they always have. We have brought a wealth of headcanons and analysis and fandom essays to Dragon Age the past ten years and this game kind of stripped a lot of that back and tried to appease it at the same time, which left the world really struggling for nuance. By trying to make a world in which everyone could apply their headcanons, the game made a world that was no longer rich in the societies and cultural nuances that Dragon Age usually embraces, which also had the unfortunate side effect of making the cities and cultures seem sterile and under-defined.

However, there was a lot of environmental storytelling to fill the gaps. I've already talked about this in another post so I'm not going to go into it now given that I've been typing away for about an hour and a half now, but it basically boils down to the game showed us a lot that it didn't explicitly tell us. And that jarred with people because we're used to a clickywheel and explicitly laid-out opinions, and that was missing. I actually think this game would have benefitted a lot from a clickywheel! A lot of the gripes people have could have been fixed by Rook going to Neve "What about slavery?" And Neve responding "In Dock Town? Don't be daft. Dock Town is where the slaves and servants live. It's too poor for people to own slaves, if they even wanted to." Like, obviously, you can work that out from context but one thing I've learnt after being in the Dragon Age fandom for so long is that Dragon Age fans have two favourite games - Dragon Age and Jumping To Conclusions. So yeah. Clickywheel would have helped.

Anyway, that's it from me! Feel free to (respectfully) agree or disagree with me! I love chatting and debating with people, even those who don't share my opinions because that's how I learn to be more openminded. If you read this far, thank you so much.

[shdwtouch]

🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion. || accepting !

ya know, I reblogged this prompt like. hehe I have so many things I could rant about. and now that I'm sitting down to respond... nothing really comes to mind. XD

alright, the first thing that I thought of... sending positivity. like. just do it ? hot take, I guess. send the symbol that says you like their blog. comment on their post and tell them you see them, they're valid, and you like having them on your dash. and if you genuinely do not know what to say ? let me tell you... just be honest, and reaffirm that they are worthy of the positivity, support, and encouragement they want. cuz really, the thought does count, trust me. does something heartfelt feel good ? of course it does, but someone simply taking the time to be like. hey. I suck at this stuff but you're valid and I like you... that feels good too.

also, idk if ya'll know this, but you get the happy chemical too when you send love to someone. when they say thank you, when they respond, seeing them happy makes you happy too. like. you lose nothing by being kind and sending positivity. absolutely nothing. but people just. don't do it. idk. especially in this new age of people keeping small dashes and maintaining relationships with their partners... you seriously can't spare a couple minutes to search your brain, search their blog, to say something nice about them ? really ? unless you're going out of your way in the background to message them and reaffirm to them... they deserve to know.

and its like. I was gonna be like, I get it, we don't always have spoons for it. but the truth is. even when I am feeling awful about myself, even when I am anxious and insecure and uncomfy... I still try to go out of my way to comfort the folks on my dash, to send them positivity. but I also live by the "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" ideology so idk. like. I would never have someone feel as lonely and unwanted and silly as I sometimes do.

I've been there, it isn't nice. and, the thing is ? you get bitter. real quick. when you don't receive the support. and at that point, the moment their bitterness shows ? they are manipulative, toxic, insecure. we blame them for their feelings when no one tried to help them when they were ASKING for it. people should be mad, honestly. if they see the people around them getting love when they ask for it, but never receiving it for themself. we all need love, positivity, support, and encouragement sometimes.

and let me say, I have. so much anxiety. because people often say that why should you receive when you aren't putting out ? first of all, that should not apply to kindness, but go off I guess. second, if I complain I'm not getting love when I need it I'm going to worry I haven't put enough love into other people to deserve it. how wild is that ? I don't deserve love cuz I wasn't giving others enough love ?

and that's the thing. sometimes I get so. incredibly bitter. and I'm like, WHY should I support others when they ask for it if I never get it when I ask for it ? I only have so much goodwill to give ! my piggy bank of love is not endless, I have to be able to cash in sometimes too. and then I say no. people deserve love, even if I am not getting it. this isn't transactional, and it shouldn't be. so unless I am just. absolutely rotten in the head, and that very rarely occurs, I'm gonna send that support. cuz I know the other person needs it, deserves it, even if I'm not getting it reciprocated.

just. love the people on your goddamn dash. tell them you love them. appreciate them. send them silly things that made you think of them. tell them you enjoy their ships, threads, meta, what have you. make them feel seen and valid. be awkward about it, be shy, be weird, be YOU ! it doesn't matter, as long as it is honest to goodness love and support you are dishing out. it matters, and trust me, the person will value it, and they will likely remember it.

reminder. people are piggy banks. the more you put in, the more you get out. same with roleplay, ships, what have you... the more you put in, the more you get in return. so put some fucking love into the people on you dash ! and watch to see what you get out of it. that shouldn't matter, but its always nice to get something, I know. point is, you show someone kindness, you consistently like their posts and comment and what have you... you're contributing to a relationship. and you can find some pretty awesome friendships and dynamics and plots that way, let me tell you.

JUST LOVE PEOPLE OKAY ? SUPPORT THEM. ENCOURAGE THEM. BE FUCKING FRIEND SHAPED. ITS WORTH IT, I PROMISE ! AND A LITTLE GOES A LONG WAY.

[fanficmemes]

Anon with the fanfic tropes list (most of these are somewhat specific but that's cause they just appeal it me), didn't think you guys want to see it that bad but here it is! (I said it's over 1k words so don't say I didn't warn you) (also Note: few of them are implied nsfw but it's mild)

-The italicized oh.

-Sun and moon dynamic

-Teaching someone how to skate

-comparing hand sizes

-picking a flower and putting it behind someone's ear

-BRAIDING HAIR O U G H

-babysitting together (bonus if kid thinks they're dating but they are just mutually pinning or kid figures out one of them have a crush on the other and either try to get them together or straight up blurts it out while the crushing tries to get them to shut up)

-when someone's laugh/smile/moan becomes a character's favorite sound/look in the world and they try as much as they can to hear/see it

-A Covering their face with their hands/arms/etc and B moving them and saying 'you're beautiful/I love you/I want to see you'

-Sharing headphones

-SHARING/BORROWING CLOTHES (bonus if it's too big for them)

-using nicknames

-Stealing food off someone's plate

-Sharing food with someone

-comparing them to either sun, moon, stars, god, angel, etc and ultimately saying something about worshipping them (and their body LMAO DONT CALL ME OUT)

-Riding on a motorcycle/bike together

-calling someone something in another language (bonus if they don't understand what it means and says it back)

-voice messages

-cooking/baking together

-when a character wears something new and asks 'how does it look?' And the other absolutely short circuits

-sitting between someone's legs?? (Doesn't have to be inherently sexual, it's just cute like:

-playing with someone's hair

-head on someone's lap and they just look up with the sappiest smile on their face

-oh my the inherent and absolute banger of peppering kisses on someone's face!!

-Kissing someone's nose (as in a 'boop' kind of way)

-FOREHEAD TO FOREHEAD (bonus if one of them is cupping the others cheeks)

-Kissing someone's hand

-Scar kissing

-watching someone play video games

-taking pictures of the dumb shit they do (and them favoring those pictures over normal ones)

-friendship bracelets

-personal special friendship greetings

-still using/wearing something someone's outgrown (small rings on necklaces, old tee shirts as headbands, etc also; "you kept that?" "Of course, why wouldn't I? It's special to me." )

-Painting someone's nails

-Seeing how peaceful someone looks while sleeping

-'I missed you.'

-Grabbing someone by the wrist as they're about to leave and saying 'wait-...stay.'

-Hand/finger on someone's mouth and the one with mouth covered is silently short circuits/panics

-pinkie promises

-maybe this is one sided joy but tickle fights

-pillow fights

-Going swimming (bonus if one of them isn't dressed for water and the other is so they just drag them into the pool)

-hugging someone from behind with arms around their waist and head resting on their shoulder

-hugging someone with so much force that they almost fall over

-putting someone's hair over their ear/clipping it

-Getting into a certain media because of someone

-When pets like a person and the owner is like 'Awww they like you, they're usually shy/etc' and it's symbolism for their relationship

-'oh you like this?' (Starts buying merch or whatever it is just for them)/(gives the one they own to them)

-riding something together and the other has to hold them tightly/close

-playing video games together or just watching them play

-Distraction kisses (whether to beat the other in a game or just to distract the long enough to let them escape, it's good)

-singing karaoke together or just preforming as a duo

-When a character wins or finishes a race and they immediately rush to a certain person, asking them 'did you see me/that/did I win??' Cause all they really care about is the person they're asking's opinion

-A staring at B from a far and B noticing them and either waving/smiling at them or blowing them a kiss from a far and A just looking away really quickly cause they were caught

-Saving spots/anything for somebody

-drawing somebody (bonus if the muse actually sees it and they're like 'woah is that me?? You're a great artist!!' And artist reacts by either quickly closing it or just dying)

-licking lips, wether it's their own or their partner's, it's good

-"you taste like (food)"

-aaa goes along with licking lips but like savoring the taste

-*calls other their s/o in front of people proudly and said s/o is either embarrassed or really likes that they're not afraid to be known that they're together*

-alternatively, calling the other their s/o when it's just them and they haven't decided what they are and said s/o is very much short circuiting

-ALTERNATIVELY that but they're together and one of them uses a cute nickname for the other!!

-Leaving Notes around for them w cute messages

-communicating through a notebook/notes together in class

-throwing paper airplanes at them (they have notes inside)

-carrying something someone else always forgets

-sending songs that remind them of each other

-not exactly romantic but this still slaps, other friends seeing their pinning from a mile away and putting bets on them

-when couple gets together, one person going 'TOLD YOU/CALLED IT! HAND IT OVER, (NICKNAME)' and the doubters reluctantly hand over 20 bucks

-and when they do get together and find out, friend group is like 'yeah and what?? Y'all were so obvious *acts out/recalls their past pinning*' and couple just shuts down

-Oh and the pinners somehow gushing to their friends about said crush

-making pictures of said crush and them as their wallpaper

-the dumbest possible contact names for each other

-making a flower crown for someone/putting flowers in the other's hair/tucking a flower behind their ear

-describing a kiss or a feeling as addicting

-describing something as downright sinful

-Siblings or friends cheering/teasing the couple (wether they're dating or pinning, it's always fun)

-running through the rain together and laughing

-Dancing together (bonus if one of them is reluctant or inexperienced to dance and the other teaches them or just tells them to have fun, also bonus if they do 'the dip')

-Taking care of someone while they're sick

-Intoxicated/high/sick person confesses that they like the other/gets affectionate/flirts and other is very blushy (bonus if other gets to see a side of the intoxicated they've never seen before)

-Sharing a drink (like milkshake)

-Kissing someone's lips to taste something or get lipstick

-The visual of lipstick smudged or all over

-A seeing B with a different hairstyle and absolutely being like: 😳💘‼️

-Same reaction but A hears B's morning voice

-Preforming on stage and performer (who's already with s/o) points at their s/o in the crowd and is like 'this one's for you, babe!' And said s/o is embarrassed but finds it endearing

-or the exact opposite where s/o points at performer and says 'THATS MY S/O!!!' very proudly and loudly

Okay why is this so goddamn well thought out!!!! Honestly we should make this an ask game one day bc I’m the “THATS MY SO!!!!” trope

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Hi there! We're changing things up a little this week :)

Not Yet Wed Questions

Note: Great Scott! This week, we are going back in time to MC’s intern year. Think of Ethan’s relationship with them at this point and answer the following questions accordingly. It is entirely up to you when in year 1 this takes place (pre/post Miami, pre/post CH 15, etc). Feel free to answer with dialogue or pictures or both :) Have fun!

No worries. All of this is off the record and HR will never know!

The setting for this answers is:

For Both

When I first saw them, I thought__________

What is your coworker's most used swear word?

Quick: What color are their eyes?

Three people at work your coworker hates?

What is your coworker’s strangest or most endearing quirk?

If they had a crush on anyone at work, who would that be?

(Bonus round! Feel free to skip.)

Never have I Ever:

come into work hungover

had a fistfight

been kicked out of a bar

gotten a tattoo

broken someone’s heart

been in love

For MC (Ethan is not there)

Where do you see him in five years (both professionally and in his personal life?)

What do you find the most impressive about him?

Last thing he texted you?

If he asked you out on a date, what would you say?

For Ethan (MC is not there)

Where do you see him in five years (both professionally and in his personal life?)

What specifically do you find attractive about her?

Last thing she texted you?

If she asked you out on a date, how would you respond?

Alright, post Book 1 but pre-Ethan fleeing to South America Ethan x Naomi coming right up! I feel like that time would have maximum tension because they’re trying to find their footing again after fucking the souls out of each other’s bodies and sending them into orbit, and lowkey falling in love sleeping together, while maintaining professionalism.

~v~

For Both:

When I first saw them, I thought__________

Naomi: I thought “thank God someone else is here!” I was in over my head with that patient, and I didn’t even notice that The Ethan Ramsey was the one assisting me until much later.

Ethan: I thought she had guts. You don’t see too many first day interns that are ready to jump into the fray like she did.

What is your coworker's most used swear word?

Naomi: He says Christ and any iteration of the word damn. Dammit, goddamn, goddammit, you get the gist.

Ethan: She says fuck.

Naomi: You’ve never heard me say that.

Ethan: She says fuck a lot, especially when she’s...*Ethan trails off and catches himself before he finishes that sentence. It’s a moot point all the same because now all he can think about is the young intern in front of him, hands pulling his hair, nails raking down his back, moaning the obscenity into his ear, into his pillows. He awkwardly clears his throat* Just trust me, I’ve heard her say it. Multiple times.

*and now he’s mad at himself*

Quick: What color are their eyes?

Naomi: Blue. They’re kinda hard to miss.

Ethan: Her eyes are brown.

Three people at work your coworker hates?

Naomi: He hates everyone, except for me and Naveen.

Ethan: Except for you? You think pretty highly of yourself, Rookie.

Naomi: Am I wrong? *Ethan doesn’t deny it, instead staying silent and Naomi smirks* Exactly

Ethan: I don’t think she dislikes anyone. I’ve never met a person like her, she makes friends with everyone.

What is your coworker’s strangest or most endearing quirk?

Naomi: He fiddles with his glasses a lot.

Ethan: She’s constantly biting her lip, especially when she’s really focused.

*she’s actually surprised that he picked up on that* Naomi: You notice that?

Ethan: I notice everything...about everything. It’s the nature of the job.

If they had a crush on anyone at work, who would that be?

*they both share an awkward glance before looking away and declining to answer*

Never Have I Ever...

Come into work hungover

Ethan: When I was younger, yes. But now that I’m older, I know my limits.

Naomi: No, because I don’t get hangovers due to my magical hangover cure.

Ethan: That god-awful drink is...surprisingly effective.

*the interviewer asks Ethan to elaborate on the time Naomi gave him whatever her hangover cure is, and he adamantly refuses*

Had a fistfight

Naomi: Yes, but in my defense I was drunk.

Ethan: *snorts* How is that a defense?

Naomi: I’m the daughter of an attorney, I usually try to resolve my issues with my words. But drunk Naomi is a little feistier.

Ethan: You mean you have a level of feistiness that I’ve yet to see?

Naomi: Oh yeah. Anyway, I was in college, I was drunk at a bar, someone spilled a drink on me, and it escalated. I think I broke her nose.

Ethan: An arrest record wasn’t on your file when we hired you.

Naomi: Like I said, I’m the daughter of an attorney, and the granddaughter of a DC judge. That has its perks.

Ethan: Yes, I’ve gotten into a fist fight before. I punched Nash in the face. And before that, i fought my old med school roommate.

Naomi: Ooh, what did he do?

Ethan: That’s not a story I’d ever divulge while sober.

Been kicked out of a bar

Naomi: Yes. Circle back to the previous question.

Ethan: No, because I’m an adult.

Gotten a tattoo

Ethan: Absolutely not

Naomi: I have a tattoo of the Cancer symbol on my left hip. It’s my zodiac sign.

*this stuns Ethan into silence because he’s seen her naked on more than one occasion and been...very well acquainted with the body parts below her waist, and for the life of him cannot remember a tattoo*

Broken someone’s heart

Naomi: No. At least, I don’t think so. I’ve had my heart broken, if that counts.

Ethan: Same as Naomi. I don’t think I have.

*they make a pointed effort to not make eye contact with each other, and Naomi bites down on her lip, letting the silence hang in the air. The alternative would be informing Ethan that he has indeed broken someone’s heart, and that just won’t do.*

Been in love

Naomi: I don’t know. Maybe? I thought I was in love with my med school boyfriend, but now that time has passed, I know that wasn’t love. At least, not the good kind. And there was a near miss after him, but nothing came out of it. The emotions were a lot stronger the second time around though, and i think it’s the closest I’ve come to it this far. I’m a hopeless romantic, so I hope I find it someday.

Ethan: No. Call me a cynic, but I just don’t see love as something that’s feasible and attainable. Putting that much trust and dependency in another person is not realistic.

For Naomi (Ethan is not there)

Where do you see him in five years (both professionally and in his personal life?)

Naomi: I don’t know what’s left for a man like Ethan Ramsey. He’s already done so much in the field of medicine, unless he reinvents the entire wheel and turns it upside down, which I can see him doing. I can see him writing more, publishing more research, and of course winning more awards. If he wasn’t so anti-administration, he could be running this place. Or maybe he’ll start his own non-profit.

Naomi: As far as his personal life, I don’t know. You heard loud and clear that he doesn’t really believe in love. I hope one day he changes his mind or finds a companion, because underneath his extremely prickly exterior, he’s one of the best men I know and he has a heart of gold. He deserves the chance to let someone take care of it for him.

What do you find the most impressive about him?

Naomi: From afar, Ethan seems very larger than life, but I think the most impressive thing about him is his dedication to not just medicine, but his patients. I’ve never seen him not go above and beyond for someone he was treating.

Last thing he texted you?

Naomi: “Please consult Diana in HR regarding your official diagnostic team fellowship application. I know this year has been unorthodox to say the least, but there are still some steps that must be taken before the start of your second year. Thank you.”

Naomi: I’ve never received a text message that long.

If he asked you out on a date, what would you say?

*her cheeks heat up furiously and she pulls her bottom between her teeth before answering, her eyes bright and watery*

Naomi: Am I a total glutton for pain for saying I’d jump at the chance?

For Ethan (Naomi is not there)

Where do you see her in five years (both professionally and in her personal life?)

Ethan: Dr. Valentine has so much potential and she’s going to be one of the greats. She’s going to be running the diagnostics team if she chooses to stay at Edenbrook, and I can’t see Naveen not trying to keep her here. She’s going to win awards, have awards named after her, publish research, lead trials, whatever. I hate to sound banal and cliche, but the sky really is the limit for her. I chose her for a reason, and I plan her helping her reach all of that potential.

Ethan: As for her personal life, I don’t know. Hopefully she finds someone that’s good enough for her.

What specifically do you find attractive about her?

Ethan: A-attractive? *the word comes out in a squeak, but he coughs to cover it up* Why on earth would you assume that I’m attracted to her?

*he goes on a ridiculously long tangent about how inappropriate it is to be attracted to your coworkers, especially your subordinates, and how he would never jeopardize Naomi’s career on something as trivial as attraction, and anyone with an ounce of common sense can tell that he doth protest too much*

Ethan: But if I absolutely had to pick something besides her good looks, it’d be her spirit. She’s warm and empathetic and optimistic, and I’ve never seen someone care as much as she does.

Last thing she texted you?

Ethan: “👍” I sent her a message about her upcoming fellowship and she sent back a thumbs up. Just that. I was a little annoyed.

If she asked you out on a date, how would you respond?

Ethan: As um...flattering as that might be, I would say no. I am an attending, she’s an intern, my soon to be fellow. That is crossing too many ethical lines, lines I refuse to breach.

Ethan: And I would say no because Naomi is...just a good person. And maybe I’m being biased, but I don’t know if anyone will ever be truly worthy of her. But I can say without a shadow of a doubt that she deserves so much better than me or what I could give her.

[1787americanrevnerd]

The Life of Rebecca Barnes

Sorry if the dates are wrong, I tried my best to do the math.

The Howling Commandos had finally tracked down the only living family of James Barnes. James never talked about his personal life before the war to any of the Commandos and he really only talked to Steve. And since the Barnes' family is very closed off, it was hard to find James's family to offer condolences. He had died a while ago in the Swiss Alps, the army was going to send a letter but the Commandos thought it would be better to say it in person.When they came to the small apartment in NYC and knocked on the door they were not expecting a young girl with three other kids clinging onto her. The girl had frizzy, curly, hip-length dark brown hair. The Commandos knew this was the right house because the girl had the same smile as James.

"Hello, what can I do for you?" she asked. Dum Dum spoke next, "Is it okay if we come inside we worked with James." The girl nodded and ushered them inside. "Rikki, who are these people," asked a little girl with dirty blonde hair and green eyes. "Well, Lizzy these are some of Jamie's friends." Rikki picked up Lizzy and put her on her hip. "Is Stevie coming?" The Commandos felt guilty at the question Lizzy asked, Steve died the day previous."Anyway, what brings you to my apartment?" asked Rikki. "Well we are looking for a Rebecca is she home?" said Gabe Jones. "Oh, that's me, Rikki's a nickname my stupid brother gave me when we were kids." The Commandos now felt even more saddened by the news they were about to give the Barnes family. "Could we talk in private," one of the Commandos asked Rebecca.

Rikki led them into a separate room so that they could talk privately. "So why are you at my house?" asked Rikki. The Commandos knew that they should rip the bandaid off but it's still difficult to take off the bandaid. "Rikki that's a funny nickname," said Jim trying to start a conversation. "Yeah, I would always try to annoy my brother by calling him Jamie because he didn't like to be called, and I quote, "A name meant for a girl" so I always called him Jamie. He then started to call me Rikki since it sounds like a boy's name. And it just kind of stuck.""Ms. Barnes we have some unfortunate news to tell you," said Jack. Rebecca stiffened, "Is Jamie okay?" All of the Commandos looked down and Rebecca gasped. "He died in action, we were ambushing a train in the swiss alps and your brother fell off the side. He died fighting, I'm sorry for your loss," said Gabe. "Why isn't Steve here telling me this then?" questioned Rebecca. "Steve died crashing a plane into the ice in order to save millions," explained Dum Dum. They tried to say nice things to her like, "It's okay." "They died for a greater cause" but with every word Rebecca got angrier. Rebecca stood up and wiped off her tears, " No it's not okay my brothers died! For you people, and then you start saying meaningless words to me about it. Get out, get out of my house goddamn it!" The Commandos left silently not wanting to upset Rebecca further.

Rebecca went to her siblings, "I have some bad news, Stevie and Jamie died in the war." Lizzy and Martha went quiet and Linda, who was only a baby, started to cry. Rebecca wanted to cry too, but she had to stay strong like Jamie always did.Once the kids went to bed Rebecca dropped on the floor and started crying. "We can't even bury a body," she said over and over again. Jamie was always so full of life it's hard to imagine him dead. Deep down inside Rebecca believed that he was not dead, they had always had a twin-like bond, even though there was a 3 year age difference, meaning that they always knew what the other thought and the other well-being. Rebecca Barnes hated the people responsible for her brother's death and Rebecca needed to bring them to justice.

One Year Later

Rebecca wanted to do something worthwhile and she thought joining the S.S.R. was the only way to do so. Rebecca had good grades and experience with things the S.S.R did. She had taken criminology and forensic science in school and had just finished her combat training.When she was in the office and the man put down her file her looked up at her and said, "Why should we hire you?" he asks. Rebecca thinks about it and says, " I want to make the world a safer place and-" The man cuts her off, "No, no, no, I mean why would we hire you a woman. We already have Margret." Rebecca stands up and slaps her hands on the table, "Listen here you short sexist piece of sh*t, if a man came in here with the file I have I know for a fact you would hire him. Also, it is my human right to be able to work if I want to, I'm leaving so give me a letter when you make up your mind."

As she stormed out she was cut off by Margret Carter, "I agree with what you said about the chief being a short sexist," she didn't finish her sentence being a proper lady. Rebecca however was not, "Piece of sh*t." Peggy nodded. "I know a great Diner around here would you like to go once my shift is over?" Rebecca didn't have many friends this would be good for her. "Sure I would love to."

When they went to the diner Peggy led them to a booth and she sat down. "So what's your name?" asked Peggy. Rebecca hadn't even realized that they didn't know each other's names. "Rebecca Barnes," she said simply. Peggy froze at the surname remembering someone who was lost in the war. "Peggy Carter," Peggy said thinking that Barnes was a very popular surname it could be a whole other family.

"Do you have any siblings?" Peggy asked. "I have three younger sisters, Elizabeth, Lidia, and Margret. And I ha- had one brother, James," answered Rebecca. Peggy was now sure that this is the sister of James Buchanan Barnes. "What about you do you have any siblings?" asked Rebecca in return. "Yes I also had an older brother," replied Peggy. "I'm sorry for your loss," replied Rebecca. "It's okay, it was a long time ago." Rebecca was very easy to talk to, and she wasn't like the people Peggy was usually drawn to. She was far from a proper lady, she sat like someone who was not taught proper edict, and she was wearing pants. Not pants made for women but pants that probably belonged to a man at some point. "Your pants where did you get them?" Peggy asked. "They're hand-me-downs, from my brother. Money was never tight at my house but it just made me feel more normal, you know wearing hand-me-downs like most other younger siblings. Anyway enough about me, what's your deal?"

"I have worked in the SSR for a long time and I didn't get many jobs or respect until the war when I helped with Project Rebirth. After the war, well I turned into the secretary. I want to show people that I can do just as much as a man can and that I didn't just become an Agent because there weren't enough men to do the job. Why are you here?" Rebecca knew her answer, " You might not like it or agree with it but, I want to take down the people that hurt me and so many families. I don't want anyone else's brother to die because of a war. And the only way to do that is to rid the world of insane people who want to take over the world." Peggy nodded, "Well seeing as we will be the only women in the department I look forward o filing papers with you and hopefully putting "villains" in jail." Rebecca smiled and took a sip of her water, this felt like a good thing.

2 years later

It was Rebecca's first mission, there was no one left to do it. She had to take down some drug dealers. When she got to the location something was wrong the drug dealers were there all right but there were other people there. They had the HYDRA symbol on their jackets. Oh, how stupid had we been to think that if we killed the leader that they would die she thought. She had to move closer to get a better look.

She went up in the vents in order to hear and see everything clearly. Unfortunately, the vents were not very strong and she fell from them. The drug dealers left and the HYDRA soldiers pinned her to the ground. "Let's see who you are," the soldier said as he reached for the dog tags she wore. "These say, James Barnes, you can't be him. You must be his sister but which one? Are you Martha, Lidia, or maybe Elizabeth? Wait you are in your twenty's oh yes you must be Rebecca. Your brother's favorite."

"What are you going to do to me now that I know you still exist?" she asked. "Nothing, we know that you will be too scared to tell. Now run along and don't come back. She ran back not wanting to die. But she will tell people about Hydra.

Once she was out of earshot the soldier said, "Send the Winter Soldier after her. We can't have her knowing about us, or him."

---------------------------------------------------------------------Rebecca was on a date with her boyfriend of one year, William Proctor. They had stayed at Rebecca's house since they were an interracial couple so no one would serve them at restaurants. "So how was work today?" asked William. "It was good," lied Rebecca. She still hadn't told him about her real job he thought she was working at a DMV. "You're lying, you always take a sip of your wine and look left when you lie," said William. If he wasn't catching her lie Rebecca would have thought that it was very sweet that he notices the small things about her. "It wasn't the best but, I did get to try something different. William, I don't work at the DMV, I'm working at the S.S-" at that moment a metal hand went through the wall.

It was a man dressed in what seemed to be kevlar, he had a district metal arm, and was wearing a mask. Or a muzzle, part of Rebecca thought. "Is this someone from work?" asked William sarcastically. "Yeah, I was trying to track down some drug dealers, ran into HYDRA. I guess they sent their puppet after me," she replied. The man didn't like her comment very much because he started to attack her. Rebecca blocked most of his punches until his knife cut into her right shoulder, he then pulled it down to her wrist causing a massive cut along her arm. "Rebecca are you okay?" asked William from where he was standing in the kitchen. "Yeah just throw me a wrench or a knife!" yelled Rebecca. She had an idea, it might not be great and was based on a very flimsy theory but she wanted to try nonetheless. Once, William passed her a long kitchen knife she tried to shove it into one of the slots on the metal arm. She was successful she then twisted them with great struggle though since the man was trying to kill her. William came from behind and put two more objects in the man's metal arm. By this time Rebecca had already done quite a bit of damage. Knowing that he would lose the man left. Rebecca then collapsed in William's arms.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------"So how did you really cut the entirety of your right arm?" asked Peggy. "What do you mean? I was in a car crash and I cut myself on the window," answered Rebecca. "That's absolute rubbish, you're a great driver. Also, you're a terrible liar," Peggy told her. Rebecca sighed, "A man broke into my house, probably working for the people I "met" a few days back, he cut my arm." Peggy nodded, "What did he look like maybe I know about him." Rebecca thought back to the most distinct thing about him, "He a metal arm for his left arm." Peggy's eyes widened, "People have been talking about him, civilians I mean, a man with a metal left arm comes up at least once with every political murder after the war. People started to call him the Winter Soldier, the S. S. R. has been looking into him for a while now, but nothing comes up, he's like a ghost." Rebecca smirked, "Well then it must be a miracle that I'm still alive."

2 years later

This was Rebecca's first mission since she found out she was pregnant. She and William had decided that William would stop working, he didn't like his job much anyway. Rebecca almost got fired because the S. S. R. didn't want to pay for her maternity leave. She told her boss that she wouldn't take the leave, her husband (they aren't technically married but they have known each other for three years) would be home taking care of the child. She still went on missions since she only had a small baby bump. Nothing dangerous though, just a stakeout with Peggy and Howard. She told them about HYDRA well, she told Peggy and Howard overheard. She and Howard didn't get along, he was egotistical and cocky, two traits Rebecca hated. Howard had an equal despise for her, she was too reckless, something that wasn't always a good thing.

HYDRA was loading a truck nothing too interesting until the Winter Soldier came out to help them. He doesn't have his mask on but he was far away so no point in trying to figure out who he is, thought Rebecca. "Hey he kind of looks like Barnes," pointed out Howard. "I'm right here Stark, " growled Rebecca. "No, I mean your brother," explained Howard. Peggy leaned forward and squinted her eyes, "I mean from a distance." Rebecca laughed, "Why would Jamie be working for HYDRA? Also, my brother is incredibly vain, there is no way he'd let his hair get like that!" Peggy nodded then looked at Howard, "She has a point." Howard thought for a minute, "Maybe they put his brain in a blender?" Rebecca looked sick, "Please stop." Howard did, there were only a few things Howard was afraid of, and one of them was an angry Barnes.

3 years later

Rebecca had just had her second child, Myla, and she was already worrying. Her son, James, was a tiny terror she hoped that he didn't rub off on Myla. James had skin a little darker than Rebecca's, he had Williams nose and eyes, everything else about his completion looked closer to Rebecca. Kyla had very dark skin, she also had curly brown hair like her mother, she had her grandfather's eyes, and had Rebecca's jawline. Rebecca felt bad that none of them would ever meet their Aunts and Uncles since both Rebecca and William's family did not agree with the pairing. Rebecca felt especially bad that the one Uncle who would love to meet the kids couldn't be there. She and William had bought a small three bedrooms one bathroom house, because of the new family edition. All in all, Rebecca couldn't wait for the adventures to come with her family.

12 Years Later

Peggy had brought Rebecca to a diner to talk. "I and Stark have started something, called S.H.I.E.L.D. it's basically the S. S. R. but private would you like to join us. Rebecca nodded furiously, "Of course, I've been meaning to get out of the S. S. R. and I'm sure anything you're founding has to be worth it." Peggy laughed, "So what do you say we go and hand in our letters of resignation." Rebecca got up from the table excited to have a new beginning.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Seriously though Stark, why haven't you found someone yet. You're almost 43, times running out," said Peggy. "Look not all of us want to get married and have kids super young like Ms. I'm Fine over there," retorted Howard. "What do you mean young? I was 29 when I had James, and 32 when I had Mayla," said Rebecca. "The point still stands and I'm in a relationship now and it's going great," states Howard. "What's her name?" asked Peggy. "Maria, speak of the devil, I have a date with her. Nice talking to you ladies." Rebecca scoffed, "Let's hope this one isn't insane."

5 Years Later

"Top of the class aye?" asked Rebecca. Mayla blushed, "Yeah which means that I can choose any job I desire." Rebecca smiled, "What do you want to do then?" Mayla looked down, "Well I already applied for a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. and they hired me so I guess that." Rebecca was a little confused as to why her daughter would go behind her back on this one. "I just didn't want people thinking I got the job because of Aunt Peggy. I'll be working in the science division so I don't want people thinking I'm just dumb and spoiled." Rebecca laughed, "No one will think that you graduated top of your class from college when you're 19."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That same year Anthony Stark was born, Howard was nervous. He was worried that Tony would turn out like him, Peggy worried the same thing. Rebecca tried to tell Howard that Maria was a good lady, she probably toned down the Stark genes in that kid.

21 Years Later

William had come to pick Rebecca up from work. That was when something strange happened William noticed something Peggy didn't. "Hey why have these guys neer finished their mission?" asked William. Howard went to get their files, "Maybe they forgot to check in?" Rebecca shook her head, "But all of them admit to not completing the mission. And they have outrageous reasons as to why. Who believed these guys?" Peggy went to the back of the file room and took out a few more, "They were all signed by these men, we don't have any records on them until the year 1965." William spoke up, "Maybe they are in on something together, like a rival agency type deal." Howard scoffed, "There is no way SHIELD could be infiltrated." Rebecca hit him upide the head, "Your arogence will be the end of you, Stark." Peggy shruged, "We'll look into it in the morning. Howard your son is home you should be spending time with him. Rebecca if I am not mistaken you have your grandchildren Kimberly and Scott waiting for you to teach them how to properly use a gun." They all left but none of them knew that this was the last time Howard, Peggy, and Rebecca would be in the same room together.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

They were all invited to the funeral, even if Rebecca wasn't that close to Howard. Peggy and Rebecca sat next to Tony the whole time knowing that he needed someone to be there with him. Peggy and Rebecca were like his Aunts, they were usually at the Stark estate. Rebecca and Howard would be bickering most of the time but Rebecca was still present at the house often when Tony was a child. Everyone was telling Tony about how his father was a great man and how they were sorry that he lost his dad. However Peggy and Rebecca tod him that Howard wasn't perfect and that they were sorry he had to lose his parents but they never tried to tell him what to feel or how to think about it.

18 Years Later

Rebecca had grown old and now had great-grandchildren, but she still worked at SHIELD. She didn't work in the field anymore though, she was a therapist of sorts. One day they sat her down with a young lady with bright red hair and told Rebecca to make the girl safe to be around. They were then left alone to talk and to help this girl through whatever was going on with her."My name is Rebecca Barnes Proctor, and you are?""Natasha Romanoff.""What would you like me to call you?""...Natasha.""Well then Natasha let's get started. Why are you here?""I worked for the KGB a kind man named Clint Barton dragged me here and they told me to sit through this until I was stable enough to go into the field.""I used to be a SHIELD Agent you know, I was here when this place was first built. Now I work here, helping people like you.""...Who is that a picture of on your desk?""That was my brother, he died in the war.""I'm sorry.""It's okay he's been gone for a long time. Anyway why would people think you aren't stable?""I was a Russian Spy, they just want to make sure I'm on their side.""Do you promise not to betray us?""I wouldn't dream of it. I can't go to a prison cell, again.""Great then I will tell themyou are stable as long as you come help me watch over my great grandchildren every Thursday.""I will Mrs. Proctor.""Oh please, call me Rebecca.""Thanks Rebecca."

1 Year Later

"You seem quiet today Natasha is something wrong?""It's nothing I just got out of the Hospital that's all.""What were you there for?""A man with a metal arm shot someone through me.""So I see you've met the Winter Soldier.""The Winter who?"The Winter Soldier, he's an assassin.""Why haven't I heard of him?""He's like a ghost no one can track him and every file we have of himis erased gone. You see this scar he gave me it."Natasha looked at the scar, "Looks like it hurt." Rebecca sighed, "It did for a long time, but what's done is done. Be careful Natasha." Natasha smiled, "I always am."8 Years Later"Rebecca!" called Natasha, "I brought some company for you!" Rebecca smiled, "I'm in the kitchen." She was trying to complete the crossword when she saw Natasha. "Hello, dear I'mso glad you found time to visit me." Natasha looked at the other visitors, "Guys this is Rebecca, she's a few years younger than Steve. And Rebecca this is Sam-" Rebecca inturpterd her, "Stevie! Why haven't you visited me since you came back from the ice?" Steve looked dumbstruck, "I thought you would be dead or you wouldn't remember me." Rebecca wacked him upside the head, "That was easier to do when you where shorter but this will have to do. How dare you think me dead! And I'm not that old, this brain's still ticking!"

Bucky was behind the wall he didn't really know who this lady was and he wasn't sure she would be happy to have a murderer in her house. He noticed something on her left arm then, a scar going down it. Bucky remembered that, he did it to the young women who was trying to have dinner with her boyfriend, then he tried to kill her. Bucky stepped out of the shadows to say he was sorry for hurting her all those years ago when the women hugged him. She started saying, "Jamie, I knew you were alive! Everyone said that you were dead but I knew deep down that you were alive!" Natasha smiled, that was the first time Bucky had ever seen her smile. "As I was about to say, this is Rebecca Barnes Proctor," said Natasha. When the name was said Bucky started to remember her, he would call her Rikki. Bucky hugged her back, "Long time no see Rikki." Rebecca looked at Bucky's arm, "I know what you did and I forgive you."

1 Year Later

Rebecca died peacefully in her sleep a few months after seeing Bucky again. Evryone said that since she saw him her heart had been ready to go, knowing that he was alive. Others said that she missed her friends and loved ones. Whichever you choose to belive just remember that Rebecca Barnes lived an amazing life.

[insufferablelust]

LISZT’S LIEBESTRAUME.

Hello, yes i was listening to my favorite Liszt’s piece, and got inspired of reading a short fluff. It’s cute.. it’s just cute🥺 thank you for reading! excuse the grammars! i’m sleep deprived.

MASTERLIST OF ALL MY WORKS.

WARNINGS : None!! Fluff! Date stuff! Spencer x Reader, super cute.

——————

Your lips curled into a huge smile as you eyed the jewel adorning the shimmering gold band that was latched on your ring finger. It has been a few days since Spencer asked you the big question, it was perfect— everything with him is perfect, always is and always will. But that night, that night was one of the best nights of your life, the only one that can beat it is probably the night you met Spencer, it was raining, he was on his way home and so were you. Long conversations on the bus turns into talk over his over sugared coffee and your caramel latte, and now after a year later he finally asked you.

“Where are we going, Dr.Reid?” You chuckled, you palm were placed on his thigh as he drove to wherever it is he’s taking you. It was your one year anniversary together, Spencer told you to put on something warm and comfortable and he was very specific when he said “Bring an extra jacket, love. You’ll need it.” So you did bring an extra jacket wet you, you were clad in a thin sweater with a winter coat that Spencer got you because you always shiver like a tiny kitten, he said once.

“You’ll see..” His eyes glance at yours as he chuckles, then hold the hand that was perched on top of his lap to kiss it gently. “Alright we’ll see. I love a good mystery, Doctor.” You joked, grazing his cheeks with your thumb, feeling the warmth radiating off of his flushed skin, although it was chilly outside, Spencer’s car managed to keep you both warm so far.

“Be patient, we’re almost there.” He kissed your palm one more time before placing it back on your lap.

—————

“We’re here.” His eyes glimmered with adoration as he pulled up in front of a viewing side of the hill, her smile speaks for her words; it was truly beautiful. When she got out of the car, she stared at the beautiful scenery in front of her, the soft looking tapestry was laid on top of the grasses, with pillows and small candles surrounding the entire hill top. Her eyes then move its teary gaze to him and her arms jutted out to hug him tightly. “Spencer Reid, this is amazing..”

Spencer’s heart soared at her words, feeling like he could just say it right now— but no, he’ll wait. Not that long now. “C’mon, Y/N.” He softly held her hand in his, fingers intertwined; they walked slowly to the center where the tapestry was laid beautifully.

As Y/N nearly reached the top, she could see how beautiful the city was underneath the hill, all the lights from their houses, buildings, even street lights illuminated the cold night, she giggled at the thought of people doing different mundane things at 9 PM on a Sunday night. Then what see sees next would make her cry, as she turns around..

She sees her boyfriend, the love of her life, her soulmate, her person by heart— On his knees before her with all the lights behind her and the candle behind him, His whole body smiled at her— as his hand nervously shake. She let out tears as she muttered his name softly, her heart jumping against her ribcage like a maniac.

“Y/N Y/l/N,” The way her name rolled off his tongue lit every nerves inside her body, and soul. His eyes flickered to hers, taking a deep breath before continuing,

“Tonight is a special night for us, a year ago exactly at 9 PM we were taking the bus back home when you approached me, asking what i’m reading— i was.. i was so enthralled by you, the way you were so outspoken yet something about you felt so raw and gentle, that i knew right then and there i got to have you.” He chuckled, and you sobbed at the memory, laughing with him too.

“Then after the half ruined coffee dates because of course being with an FBI has its perks..” He nervously laughed again, and so did you— louder this time

“But then i saw it, i saw the way you told me that it was fine, you told me i’m going to save someone, going to be someone’s hero, and you... your patience and the way you handled thing always amazes me. You’re the most amazing being that has ever walked on this very soil.” He muttered the last part loudly, as he stared at you, then he reached out to his back pocket,

“Now i want you to know that the reason why i brought you here is because, well first it’s Rossi’s so i don’t have to pay..” That has you bursting out laughter and happy sobs,

“But also that.. hill symbolizes the climb and growth of a person or persons together, it represents the influence of your potential, and the energy of growth or change latent in that potential. Therefore being on a hill can show you in a state of mind, or an attitude, perhaps even a form of meditation, that is opening you to the action of the growth energy within you— oh i’m rambling,” His laughter seemed nervous yet.. pure, as you whispered a small.. “i love when you ramble..” which he of course heard and his cheeks turning pink.

“But Y/N what i meant is that, by being here we’ve climbed up to the top, together and yet we’ll always climb as we chase our dreams together, being with you make me believe in myself, and you told me once that being with me makes you feel at ease that you could do everything..” He trailed before pulling out a small black velvet box, and opening it, revealing its beauty to you underneath the moonlight. The gold ring with a pretty ruby jewel on top. You were shaking, sobbing, with pure happiness.

“Y/N, i know i would never have enough to give you everything in this world, even if i try— words still won’t do any justice, actions still won’t do any justice, yet one thing that i promised will do us justice is the strength of our love. You are the epitome of soulmate if they do exists— and you’re the only one i want,” he took a deep breath again before looking up to you, burning holes into your eyes,

“i still wonder what is life if i hadn’t met you, i’m grasping the reality of loving and caring for you each day we’re going through. there are a lot of people, but my heart already found it’s home on yours, my unstable messed up mind somehow always links back to you. you made me the happiest, you made me feel whole again. and i promise, i’ll be here in your darkest and brightest times, i’ll be here to cherish, hold, and love you every goddamn second of your day,

Y/N Y/l/N, will you let me cherish you? will you marry me?”

That’s when everything went from amazing to heavenly, your breathing uncontrollable, as you stared at him then look up to the sky for a moment to whisper a thank you to whoever that has granted your prayers and then you said the words, with the most stern voice that drips with raw emotion.

“Yes, yes i will, i will Spencer Reid..”

————

Blurb and taglist reqs are open! send them in!

[sockablock]

When in sudden need of a place to stay, Caleb Widogast finds a room for rent at a price so low he can’t believe his luck. Ignoring the concerns of his friends, he moves in and quickly finds himself tangled up in the life of one Essek Thelyss, a reclusive scholar who may be even stranger than Caleb himself...

(start) - (previous) - (next)

Chapter 2: A Name to the Face

The sun lanced arcs across Caleb’s face as he set his phone down on the nightstand, and yawned.

He’d gotten used to sleeping in strange places during the last few years of his life, and there was a part of him that missed the coziness of his room back in his and Nott’s apartment. But the other part of him, namely the part comprised of bruises from too-narrow walls—relished in this chance to stretch out a little.

Eventually, he managed to sit up. The mattress did not dip sullenly with his weight, indicative of its newness and quality.

He glanced around. The door was closed, though Frumpkin was nowhere to be seen. Then again, mundane cats were already hard enough to confine; as a feline of the fey persuasion, Frumpkin went where Frumpkin pleased.

Caleb took his sweet time making the bed, adjusting the blinds, peering out the window over quiet streets, before eventually rifling through his cardboard boxes for something proper to wear. He also made a mental note to, at some point, ask Mr. Thelyss how the laundry worked.

Then he straightened his collar, took a deep breath, and wandered out into the kitchen.

—

Jester was nose-deep in a box of cinnamon rolls when Beauregard emerged from the shower. Peals of steam curled past the doorframe and dissipated out into the hallway.

“I thought those were supposed to last us the week,” Beau said when she noticed her roommate. “Didn’t we decide we wouldn’t go back to the bakery until Thursday?”

“Oh, but Beau,” icing shimmered in the corner of Jester’s mouth. “Beau, they’re just so tasty. I can’t resist.”

Beauregard pulled the towel off her head and gave her hair one last muss-up. Then she slung herself backwards into a chair and stole some frosting.

“Fair enough,” she licked a finger. “Just be sure to save something for Yasha when she gets back.”

“Back?” Jester’s cheerful demeanor vanished. “Oh, no, did she leave again? I thought she was done doing that!”

“Oh, no she didn’t run off, I think she just went to some errands, or something?” Beau scratched the side of her head. “She mentioned something about seeing a butcher.”

“Oh.” Jester relaxed. “Well that’s alright, then. Though we don’t really cook much.”

“Maybe she’s trying something new. It’s better than eating rats all the time, right?”

Jester gave this due consideration. “I think she only did that once. And then Fjord threw up, so she decided to stop.”

“Hm,” Beau shrugged. “I guess that’s nice of her. Oh, hey, speaking of stopping, what the hell is up with Caleb? Has he responded? With pictures and actual information?”

Jester groaned. “He’s being a real butt about it. He’s obviously there, but he isn’t sending us anything good.”

Beau raised a cinnamon roll. “The bastard.”  

— 

In the light of day, Mr. Thelyss’s kitchen gleamed with tidiness and disuse. In fact, it seemed like only the coffeemaker and microwave ever got any attention from their owner.

Caleb added another step to his mental moving day to-do-list: find the nearest grocery store and get some cereal. And coffee. And maybe a loaf of bread, if he was feeling extravagant.

He settled instead for pouring himself a glass of water and vowing that he would at least pick up lunch once he actually ventured outside. He slid into the kitchen, found a neutral-looking glass cup, and filled it up in the sink.

When he turned, he realized that something was different about the counter.

The little box of cheesecake was gone.

There was a note left, however. It read: Thank you very much, Mr. Widogast.

So, Caleb thought to himself. This meant that his mystery landlord had come home at some point in the night. And…as his gaze drifted past the kitchen and over to the front door of the apartment…yes, there in the foyer was a pair of shoes and a fine, but thin, black cloak.

Caleb had never seen anything like it before. It seemed as if the pattern had been designed to almost be worn like some kind of long poncho. Its hem brushed just over the floor.

What kind of person would wear something like this? The amused thought of vampire briefly flickered through his mind, but he shook it off and chalked it up to spending too much time with Jester.

He glanced back at the note. Something in him also registered: charmingly polite.

He shook his head. Speaking of Jester, he still had a promise to fulfill…

— 

“Fjord, those are ugly.”

“What? I think they look nice—”

“Nice won’t cut it! I need something amazing! It’s been months since I’ve last seen Yeza. I have to really blow him away.”

“Look, what you see is what we’ve got. And anyway, what’s wrong with Delphiniums—”

Nott was standing on a small turquoise stool that some of the more vertically-challenged customers of the Blooming Grove required to reach the counter. Her finger was swaying dangerously underneath the nose of a long-time friend and even longer-time frenemy, Fjord, currently on register duty.

All around them, the sweet and mellow scent of dozens upon dozens of coastal flowers twirled and trilled and danced through the air. Large windows set into the pale green walls let in sunlight and a view of the gardens out back.

“They’re blue!” Nott screeched. “I don’t want blue, Yeza’s going to think I’m not happy to see him!”

“Everyone likes blue,” Fjord said defensively. “Just look at Jester. She’s practically got a fan club. Fine, fine,” he added, when her expression didn’t change, “I can do you some roses—”

“Roses are cliché.”

“They’re a goddamn symbol of love, Nott.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but I don’t just want a symbol of love, I want a symbol of…of passion. Of devotion. Of l—”

“Look, just wait a bit, and Caduceus will be back. He’s the one who actually knows the names of all these things,” Fjord sighed. “He’ll be able to tell you if those even are Delphiniums.”

There was a moment’s pause.

“How have you managed to keep this job, Fjord?”

“I don’t have to help you, you know.”

“Technically, I think you d—"

And then, their phones buzzed.

—

— 

Nott glanced back at Fjord.

“Do you think he doesn’t know?”

Fjord shrugged. “Let’s just see what he says.”

Nott groaned. “It’ll probably be hours until we find out.”

—

—

“He’s going to die tonight, then,” said Beau, kicking off her sneakers. The front door shut behind her with a click. “That’s, like, the first rule to committing a crime. Don’t let them see your face.”

“I think it’s kind of romantic,” Jester said. Now she was in the living room, sprawled across the couch. “It’s like…a forbidden meeting. Maybe he’ll never find out what Essie looks like. Isn’t that sad?”

“Essek,” Beau corrected, and set her keys aside. “And I don’t see what’s so sad about that.”

“Oh, but it is,” Jester lavished in her sigh. “The saddest and loneliest kind of thing. To never see who you’re living with? If you can’t even put a face to the name, you might as well be sharing your house with a ghost.”

Beau raised an eyebrow. “That’s…a little dramatic, but I see what you mean. Anyway, this is a point against the guy. In my books, that is. And I’m keeping track.”

“Oh? How many points does he have?”

Beau joined her on the couch and crossed her arms. “Not many. He’s mysterious, and weird. Those are negatives. Standoffish, if he didn’t even greet Caleb on the first day. And if he isn’t a criminal, and is actually renting out a place that cheap, he must be a total idiot. Or desperate.”

“For what?” Jester asked.

She shrugged. “Who knows? The company?”

— 

Essek was, as a matter of fact, quite desperate. Desperate for another five minutes of sleep.

It was now long after the Mighty Nein had given up on their interrogation, though he was not aware of this. Instead, what was most on his mind was the strange…the odd vibrating right next to his head.

Blindly, he reached out to slap his alarm. His hand connected, but the noise did not stop.

Then he realized that it was coming from the other side of the bed.

He shuffled around to take a peek.

An eye was staring back at him. Large and blue.

“What in the name of the L—”

The cat yawned, and its mouth stretched open to reveal rows of teeth.

Essek hesitated. He rubbed his face.

“How did…what is…”

And then the puzzle pieces slid into place.  

He racked his brain for the name.

“F…Fr…Frumpkin?” he guessed.

The cat yawned again. This time, it followed the gesture up with a mrpf, and unfurled its body. And stretched.

“Hm,” said Essek. “He did…warn me, but…I am not sure if I approve of you coming in here like this. Without announcement, especially.”

Frumpkin stared back up at him. He tilted his head and put on his most endearing expression.

“Well,” Essek relented in the onslaught of this, “at least you don’t seem to be the kind that sheds. Actually…”

He leaned in as close as he dared, a pair of icy eyes tracking his every movement.

“…actually, I’m not at all sure what kind of kitty you are. Your ears are…very long. And your markings are…”

And then Essek realized.

“A familiar?”

Frumpkin blinked at him.

— 

Caleb had found the grocery store on his second try, and had also made note of a bookstore and bus stop on the way there. Now, after a long day of scouting out the neighborhood, he was back in his bedroom again, sorting clothes. No use in holding off, after all, not even if it made him feel slightly strange to be putting all his things away in someone else’s bedroom.

He picked up a t-shirt and examined the back. STAFF, it read. He had no idea for what. The Broad Barn’s secondhand clothing pile was vague at best and hazardous at worst.

Another part of Caleb, the part not fully consumed by the current task at hand, registered the faintest sound outside. It was ruled out as being not important.

Caleb produced another shirt. This one had a picture of a cat on it, red beams of light shooting out from its eyes. This had been a New Dawn present from—surprising to everyone—Yasha.

It had thus far found a long and happy life as the top half of Caleb’s pajamas. He’d tried to wear it in public once, and been bullied mercilessly by Beauregard.

On the other side of the room, past the drawers and the bed, was a small folding table that had been set up by Essek, likely as a desk. It was the sort of low contraption that eliminated any possibility of chairs, but it made a lot of sense for apartment living and was sized well enough for sitting on the floor. It was miles above Caleb’s old arrangement, a piece of plywood on a milk crate.

Right now, this new desk was covered in reams upon reams of notebook paper. Contrary to expectation, however, this paper was not lined with the standard narrow rule of most academic stationary. Instead, a pattern of lines and circles extended out from the center of the page, covering every inch in an odd spiral. Dozens upon dozens of these sheets were strewn about now, with hasty pencil-markings splattered across the page.

A particularly keen-eyed individual might have noticed that some of the markings were crossed-out. Redoubled, re-arranged, re-placed, or removed.

A particularly keen-eyed individual with the right kind of background would have noticed immediately that many of these runes were transmutative.

Back on his side of the bed, Caleb was humming.

— 

When the cat—the familiar, likely a fey one, at that—did not decide to claw Essek’s eyes out, he gingerly picked it up under its forearms and carried it out of his bedroom.

He entered the living room, and saw that it was empty. The curtains were drawn open, however, and at this point the late-summer sun was just beginning to crest low over the horizon.

Essek raised an eyebrow at Frumpkin. “So. Where is your master, hm?”

Frumpkin meowed. It meant absolutely nothing to Essek, but he nodded anyway on principle.

“I understand that you are…well, from what I think I know about ordinary cats, you might like to wander around. But the same rules that apply to your wizard apply to you as well, okay?”

He walked Frumpkin into the living room and put him down on the couch.

“I would appreciate it if you did not enter my bedroom without invitation. The study as well, yes? Meow if you understand.”

Frumpkin stared at him. Frumpkin opened his mouth. Frumpkin closed it again.

It was a vague enough gesture that Essek could not tell if this was a response. He sighed.

“This is why I never bothered with getting one of you, you know. And I’m not even talking about the food bills. Er…do you eat?”

Frumpkin repeated the gesture. Essek repeated it back at the cat in a burst of childish impulse, then caught himself.

Gods, talking to Verin yesterday must have put him in an odd mood. And his brother had kept going on and on about life back in Rosohna, about how wonderful it is, Essek, how much Mother misses you, Essek, how I wish you’d visit, Essek—all that nostalgia couldn’t be good for the mind. Especially when unsolicited.

Still, this did not stop him from checking his messages in the kitchen while he waited for his morning—afternoon—evening—coffee to brew. In the background, Frumpkin rolled over on the sofa. Verin had mentioned something that he’d wanted to talk about, that he’d send over later…

Essek opened up their conversation. Then he scowled.

— 

A solitary figure stalked through the dimming streets of Nicodranas. She stretched, working out the knots in her back, upper arms, feeling the scabs on her knuckles and their sting.

She grinned, wide and toothy, in the sunset.

Unconventional, but it worked.

— 

Caleb had a perfect memory, and never forget anything. As such, the three core tenets of his tenancy in this apartment were virtually scored into his mind.

Be quiet. Be organized. And do the recycling.

Now he stood outside the apartment complex. The winding streets formed a gentle little plaza where the neighboring buildings all shared an open space, which included the public recycling cans.

There hadn’t actually been that much to take out, aside from an empty carton of ramen, a few cat food tins, and some assorted items that Mr. Thelyss must have left behind last night. Still, Caleb had wanted to prove how serious he was about following the Code of Conduct, and so had made the journey downstairs to be a responsible citizen.

The breeze wound around his ankles. Nearby, a few kids were running around with their mother, and a jogger moseyed past their street. It was a peaceful sight, underscored by the distant call of gulls and a setting sun.

Caleb had just nudged open the lid of the recycling bin when the shouting began.

Actually, it was less of a shouting and more of a heated argument, augmented by the harsh syllables of a language that Caleb did not recognize.

If he had, it would have sounded something like this:

“—impossible! I refuse. I did not give my permission—”

“Permission? Why would she need your permission—”

“Because it is my house! And this is my city—”

“Your city? Brother, you’ve only been there a few months—”

“It’s been a year and a half, Verin. A peaceful year and a half, mind.”

“Really? Well, I am certain it will remain that. And anyway, she’s not even going there for you.”

“Hah! I have a feeling that she is visiting Nicodranas expressly to do so. The gala is just an excuse for her to come here and poke into everything I’m doing—”

“Look, look, don’t shout at me. I am just the messenger. If you’re so upset, go and call Mother—”

Caleb swung the bag into the can. As he closed the lid, his curiosity got the better of him and he found himself surreptitiously scanning the perimeter with the universal creep of eavesdroppers everywhere.

Quickly, he found the source of the sound. There was a figure standing in front of his building, pacing back and forth underneath the awning, waving one hand around in frustration. The shadows prevented him from getting a better look, but the figure seemed lithe, and very annoyed.

Caleb would have to slip past him to get back inside.

Tactically, he pulled out his phone and pretended to be incredibly engrossed with its contents. Luckily, it seemed to work—and out of the corner of his eye he even noticed the figure hastily stepping aside.

Then, unluckily, the figure followed him.

Caleb didn’t dare look up. But he could feel the stranger’s presence trail him all the way into the elevator, then settle down next to him as the doors slid shut.

Caleb went to hit the number four. So did the stranger. Their fingers collided.

“Ah—"

“Scheisse, I am sor—”

And then he stopped.

Caleb Widogast was decidedly not a man of the world. He’d never left the continent of Wildemount, for instance, nor could he claim to have seen everything it had to offer. But he had fancied himself rather well-read, and believed that he perhaps had experienced more than the average person.

This was the first time in his life that he’d seen a dark elf.

He knew that they existed, of course, but in the way that he knew the names of far-off places, as distant trivia irrelevant to his life. He knew, for example, that they were native to Xhorhas, and that many of their societies lived underground. He knew that their closest civilization was ruled by a powerful queen. He also knew that in less-polite circles, some Empire elites still believed them to be backwater savages and monsters.

This one was wearing a green t-shirt. His hair was a messy sweep to one side.

“—ry.” He finished, as quickly as he could.

The dark elf shrugged. His eyes—a pale slate gray—took in Caleb’s appearance, then the number they’d both pressed.

“I do not recall ever seeing you,” the elf said. His voice was still a little strained, as if something from before—that argument, perhaps—was bothering him immensely.

“I, ah, I’m new,” Caleb said.

The elf raised an eyebrow. “I see.”

Then he turned back around to stare at the door. Caleb was more than happy not to engage. He just hoped he hadn’t stared long enough to offend a potential neighbor.

The elevator rose three floors. On the fourth one, it stopped.

He quickly ducked out, sandals pattering on the ground, and it was only once he’d gotten to the door of his apartment and started to punch in the code that he realized the elf was still behind him, still standing there, still annoyed, and so he turned—

— 

“Excuse me,” said Essek tetchily. “Why are you entering my home?”

The human blinked.

“Er…this is…where I live.”

“What? But—”

For the second time that day, Essek realized.

“Um,” said Caleb Widogast. “Would your last name...happen to be ‘Thelyss’?”

— — —

✨ Ko-Fi Link in Bio! ✨ | Requests are OPEN

[kotokos-cafe]

may i request miu with a fem reader saying/with the prompt “Sometimes I wish I won’t wake up.”, please? sorry i requested the prompt wrong! i can word it correctly and send it in again if you want!

1. "Sometimes I Wish I Won't Wake Up."

No no, Anon! I think I understand! If I mess up, feel free to resend it, though!

It was just after Kaede's execution. Shuichi was devastated, Gonta was devastated. Even your girlfriend was upset over her death. Kaede had been a symbol of shining hope over the bitterness of despair, and now she was just... gone. As if she were never there. Not to mention how Rantaro's death was simply pushed aside in favor of the execution. 

But if anyone was taking watching your own classmate's execution hard, it was you. It had been two days. You hadn't left your research lab. You barely slept. You hadn't eaten. The last drops of your water bottle were consumed the day prior to now. 

Of course, your girlfriend had tried to get to you. Almost every hour, she was knocking on your your to make sure you were alright, save for after curfew. She begged, pleaded, and yelled at you to come out, but there was nothing. She even, at one point, requested K1-B0's heat sensors to make sure you were still... y'know... breathing. She needed to know that you were still alive in there. On this night, you had developed your plan. You figured you oughta say goodbye before you put it into action, after all, so on the second day, you allowed Miu to enter, much to the inventor's relief. 

"Oh, S/O... Th-Thank Angie's strange ass God, I was so fuckin' worried about your lame ass..." she backhandedly sighed. She threw herself into your arms, sniffling softly. It was clear she had been crying, but you knew that her pride would never allow her to admit such a thing. Not even to her beloved partner. "This place would be so goddamn lame and scary without you, S/O-Chan. Y'know that, don'tcha?" 

"I know, Miu," you admitted. Her trembles and light shivers slowly began to cease as you held her, eventually cleaning herself up enough to be considered stable. "I know. Just breathe. I'm here now, aren't I?" 

But not for much longer, you thought wretchedly. Everything was silent. Miu looked at you through tears, as if she expected you to say something. You were confused. What does she want me to say? 

"Why did you stay in here for so long?" she asked, her voice shaking. You opened your mouth to answer, but she cut you off again. "Didn't you know how fuckin' scared I was? Sure, some of 'em got dicks, but I didn't want those. I want... I want you... What if somethin' happened to you in here?" 

You mentally congratulated yourself. You had reduced the Ultimate Inventor herself into a puddle of Jell-O. In that sense, you were proud. It was rare for her to let her guard down like that. It was really a shame that it would all come to an end soon. 

"I've been thinking about... y'know... the piano," you began. None of you could really bring yourself to say Kaede's execution. Because none of you wanted to believe that Kaede was really gone. That she had really killed someone and paid the price for it. It was easier to hide from the truth instead. "Y'know... recently... I... Well, I can't hide it from you forever, so I might as well just bite the bullet and tell you, huh? Sometimes, I wish I won't wake up. It would be so much simpler, so much easier, to go to sleep, and never have to come back to reality. Everything could be... perfect, forever. All of us, including Kaede and Rantaro." 

The way you were talking frightened Miu. Extremely. The look in her eyes was as if she had seen a ghost. Not yet, at least. But very soon, if your plan went through the way you intended it to go. 

"H-Hey!" Miu interrupted you before you could say anything else. "Don't go sayin' shit like that! This place would be so fuckin' boring without you, ya know! A-And besides, after you, who else is left to protect my gorgeous ass? You promised we'd get out together and be together forever, remember that?" 

You nodded. How could you forget the promise you made? You had been in her research lab when you made that promise. Even now, you could hear your past self's voice. You had told her she would make it out, alive. And you swore that you would be right by her side when she did, holding her hand the entire time. Even the thought made you tear up, knowing you were about to go against that. Even so, it was all for Miu's sake. No one else. Just her. Just the one that gave you reasons to wake up and attend all the class trials every day. 

"Mm, it's getting late," you stalled. You didn't want to have to justify yourself or continue this awkward conversation any longer. You faked a yawn, and lightly pushed Miu off your bed. "Besides, it's almost curfew. I'm kinda sleepy, so goodnight, Miu." 

She thought that meant you were feeling better, causing a small smile to creep across her face. She thought she had done something right. She thought you were happier now. That this was just a bout of sadness. That it would all pass over. That everything would be okay. That you'd leave together. 

She was wrong. 

~ 

Three years later, Miu was celebrating her nineteenth birthday. After your body was discovered and your death was found to be a suicide, Miu decided to take one of the last things you told her to heart, and vowed to survive on your behalf. She had done just that, surviving the game with Shuichi, Himiko, Maki, and Gonta, leaving the five as the sole survivors. Thanks to the sacrifices of all their friends and loves, including you, she was alive to this day, with her four best friends on what should be a very special day. 

Even so, something felt... missing. You weren't there. You weren't at her side. You weren't holding her hand like you had promised you would. At least, that's what she thought. That's all she could see. 

In truth, you had never left. You had made it out with her, albeit not alive. You were always right by her side and metaphorically holding her hand, since you couldn't hold anything anymore. Yes, now your purpose was to cheer your beloved girlfriend on from beyond the barriers of life and death. You rest in peace knowing that the day will come you'll be together once more, and never let go again. 

Miu froze. She swore she heard your voice in her head. "Happy birthday, Miu..." A ghostly whisper, but present nonetheless. She smiled softly, tears of raw emotion beginning to stream down her face. 

"I heard her," she admitted. Everyone knew what she was talking about. They had all been given signs that the lives lost to that dreadful game remained among them, watching over them until their time came to all be together again. "Thank you, S/O..." 

... 

"For everything..." 

[blookmallow]

hoouhgh i finally watched hereditary even though i knew it would upset me but i really, really liked midsommar and wanted to give it a shot but it Did, In Fact, Definitely Fucking Upset Me :’) im alright though im just like well! i am never watching That again 

anyway it was. really interesting but i feel like i did not understand it at all. heres me trying to untangle some thoughts 

- I don’t totally understand the significance of the dollhouse/miniature parallels. something something “a way to control her life/the things happening to her when she Can’t control them” annie is unable to express feelings, so she expresses them in her art (her miniatures) like charlie expresses through drawing 

she makes models about her trauma, it seems to be how she processes them, she has models of her mother in hospice care, her mother like an apparition at the bedroom door, and then a graphic model of charlie’s death 

- paint seems to be a significant symbol in some places. maybe... paint represents Emotion/grief? annie normally paints her models very, very delicately and carefully, cautiously controlling and keeping the strokes tiny and precise. she spills the paint before she goes to joan’s house for the first time - maybe a spilling of emotion, trauma pouring out in an uncontrolled mess, so it serves as the catalyst for her deciding she needs help (or, if you go with the “everything was predetermined” concept, she spilled the paint specifically to point her to the paper so she would call joan, i guess) 

in her sleepwalking state in the past, annie covered herself and her children with paint thinner as a flame accelerant  - something to make emotions lesser, to water them down, ultimately to destroy them?

then when she runs into joan again (another Probably Not Coincidence) it’s as she’s coming out of the craft store (possibly, buying more paint, possibly even replacing the spilled paint with something else)

- flame is an obvious important symbol too: charlie sees her grandmother engulfed in flame, her parents are constantly concerned that she’ll freeze because she sleeps in the tree house without heaters and goes out without a coat (possibly she doesn’t feel the cold because of. hell. i dont know) the seance rituals start with a candle flame, dumping water on annie stops the possession 

annie slept in the tree house surrounded in heaters, she did feel the cold and tried to protect herself from it, and she thought she was the link to whatever was terrorizing her family but instead of killing her, burning the sketchbook killed her husband instead, so i think that might be implying that annie is not in fact what’s actually causing all of this. im guessing the book burned her at first to stop her from destroying it - as charlie is really the cause, and probably needs it - and then burned the. father whose name i have forgotten instead of her out of spite or to send a “this isn’t about you, and you cannot stop me” message 

- i think the death of the pigeon may have been what awakened something in charlie, she cuts off its head and draws the severed head with a crown, both foreshadowing what is about to happen to her, and that she. i guess, is actually. hell royalty. or whatever the fuck that was 

she mentions her grandmother wanted her to be a boy, but since peter was born first, i dont understand why this... demon thing passed on to charlie, the second child, instead of the firstborn, who was a boy, which is apparently the demon’s preference. maybe something to do with the fact that annie did not want him and actively tried to miscarry him fucked up the. whatever it is that causes the rebirth

I really just don’t buy that charlie was always a hell demon and never loved anyone in her family? it seems like it took her over or awakened in her as time went on, annie mentions her mother had DID so it’s possible that charlie and. whatever the demon’s name is are in fact two different entities that both lived within charlie (most likely when the grandmother died, it moved to charlie because of the connection charlie had with her. still dont know why charlie was the one groomed into this rather than peter, though) 

- there’s a lot of passively Wanting To Die or seeing the inevitability of death; charlie wandered off, slept in the cold, didn’t bring a coat, didn’t bring her epi pen, wasn’t careful about nuts, possibly Knew or at least subconsciously knew that body, that self, was necessarily going to die, and didn’t ultimately matter. she asks her mother “who will take care of me when you die” and weirdly instead of saying something like “don’t worry, I won’t die for a long time” or something reassuring, annie just says “well, then your father will, or peter” almost implying somewhere subconsciously she knows she’s going to die too

when charlie died, annie in her grief screamed that she wanted to die too. her unconscious self tried to kill her children and herself before, and may have tried to strangle peter (it’s unclear if that actually happened or if it was the demon and peter thought it was his mother or if it was a hallucination/nightmare altogether) and she actively tried to miscarry to prevent peter from being born in the first place 

im not sure what exactly that means. could be that annie subconsciously could feel the trauma and tragedy that was, inevitably, coming for her and her family and was trying to kill them all to save them from it (but was horrified on realizing this, as she didn’t consciously know this) but her attempts always failed because the demon stopped her from denying fate 

 - it’s very odd to me that the father is never included in these incidents, though. we see almost nothing of his own emotional self or grief. the demon never affects him at all until the moment of his death and even then it feels like he was only killed to hurt annie and peter 

we see his anger, but it comes out like annoyance rather than grief, we don’t see him break down until way, way later when he’s alone in a car with his unconscious son (he makes a sudden stop, and. nothing happens, but it’s possible something in the physical act of... almost getting in an accident, almost having That Happen Again, himself, might have snapped something in him)

then they come home, and annie goes from relief that her husband in the front seat is okay, to immediate panic realizing, once again, her child is unresponsive in the back seat with a head injury (though obviously way less severe. he uh. he still had a head)

so. parallels. i lost where i was going with that thought. the demon doesn’t seem interested in the father at all and he seems to be completely emotionally disconnected from his family and his life and im not sure what purpose that serves

- on predestination: charlie’s treehouse may have always been a cult temple (then, did sleeping there affect her spiritually/mentally, or did she want to sleep there because the demon was already in her?) 

we don’t know the extent of joan’s involvement in their lives. she knew annie’s mother, so she’s been involved The Whole Goddamn Time, but we don’t know how far that influence goes. she could have had a hand in putting the nuts in the cake somehow (knew someone there, recommended the recipe, something). peter swerves because there was a dead animal in the road - joan and/or the other cultists could have put it there. joan probably was waiting for annie at the grief counseling group and could have followed her to the craft store to stage an “incidental” meet up (annie is the one who notices her and calls out to her, but she could have just been making herself visible expecting that she would probably see her - if she keeps showing up places and reaching out to her first, annie might become suspicious that she’s doing it on purpose) 

she gives annie the means to talk to her daughter’s spirit, knowing that she’s broken and desperate and will likely do it (probably knowing she’s a medium already, too), knowing that this will make contact with the demon (the incantation she gives her is probably specifically for that purpose - since annie can’t read the language, she wouldn’t know this. the moral here is don’t read weird ancient latin texts out loud) , and knowing that annie will then blame herself for what she perceives is what she’s done to her family - when really, it was the plan all along 

anyway. uh. that sure was a lot 

[something-tofightfor]

.

I’ll probably delete this later, but I needed to vent somewhere, and as you’ll continue reading, you’ll understand why it’s gotta be online. 

TW: talk of depression

I’m tired.  I’m tired of the way that I’ve been feeling for the last 10 months. 

I’m tired of the way that people phase in and out of caring about the pandemic based on their own personal situation. 

I’m tired of the way that people aren’t taking things seriously when now is the time what everyone NEEDS to take it seriously. 

I’m tired of the people that continue to meet random people on dating apps every week, or move between states based on the person that they’re dating at the time or HAVE to celebrate their birthdays or holidays by going out and being in big groups because they’re bored.

I’m tired of the people that think that having to wear a mask violates a personal fucking freedom instead of symbolizing people doing the bare fucking minimum to protect themselves and others. 

I’m tired of people that have spent the last 10 months denying that there’s an issue being the first in line to get a vaccine that millions of other people NEED instead. 

I’m tired of people being given opportunity after opportunity to “do the right thing” instead of someone in a position of leadership growing a pair and doing something about it. 

I’m tired of constantly being the one to check in on people and make sure they’re ok when it seems like almost NO ONE is doing the same for me.  I’m sick and tired of being the one that people count on to get shit done because “you’re not working” or “you have nothing better to do” or “Well, you’re always home, so...” I’m fucking OVER people criticizing my sleeping patterns and my daily routine and my dietary habits and the need to consume excessive amounts of caffeine just to get through the day because they don’t know - or care to ask - or even try to understand that I have been operating on less than 4 hours a sleep 95% of the time for the last few YEARS and I am exhausted all of the goddamn time. I feel like I did after my dad got diagnosed with cancer in 2015 and I had to be the one to hold her shit together to make sure everyone else got through their lives without suffering. I couldn’t fucking grieve the loss of the most important person in my life properly because I was the one making all of the decisions and reaching out to people to fill them in, and going to appointments with my stepmom and I just feel the same sense of loss and hopelessness and overwhelming sadness NOW that I did then, and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t think there is anything to do about it. Nothing is going to change. People aren’t going to get their shit together. I know that. I know that as certainly as I know how I personally feel right now. I am unhappy. I am out of it. I have nothing to look forward to, and I haven’t for a long while.  This isn’t meant to garner sympathy - because I know so many other people are going through the same stuff, and I can’t count on people to check in or worry about me, especially people that I don’t know well or that I’ve met briefly, but like ... my own sister? My stepmom? Chris? The rest of my family? Nope. 

Instead, my grandma is giving us shit for choosing not to go and spend Christmas with 25 people from different households in the same room. 

My sister is giving me shit for not answering her text messages within a certain amount of time. 

Chris hasn’t left the house more than a handful of times in the last few months, and he hasn’t ONCE gone grocery shopping throughout this whole pandemic.

I feel like I’ve just been putting myself at risk since March, and the thought process behind it is “well, someone has to do it.” Chris hates people on a good day, so sending him out into the general public when you have assholes refusing to follow simple rules and regulations is unthinkable. 

And yet here I am, feeling guilty every single time I leave the house to do something that isn’t absolutely essential, like go to Dunkin or go drive around or just go and spend a few extra minutes wandering around Target not buying groceries. Fuck, I looked FORWARD to waiting in line at the post office around Christmas, because it meant I got to be out of the house and around other people.  Those tiny little things have kept me sane. Those tiny things have been bright spots (along with the 10 I mentioned earlier last week) in an otherwise terrible fucking time. I’ve never been one to spend $$ on stupid shit to try to make myself feel better, but that’s all I’ve been doing for almost the last year, and it’s still not helping. (much)

This is supposed to be a blog for my writing, and I know that none of you want to read this - because like I said, you’re all going through your own stress right now - but I legitimately don’t know what else to do or say, or where to even say it. It kills me because I think that the way I feel has significantly altered the quality of my writing, but if I stop that? What the fuck else do I have?  It’s just an endless cycle. Absolutely endless. And it needs to change, but I have no idea where to even begin.

So if I’ve seemed off, that’s why. If my posts seem disjointed or uncharacteristic? Here’s an explanation. If i haven’t responded? That’s why. If I’ve had an attitude with you? That’s what’s going on.

I’m sorry.

[keijikunn]

All Of Your Soul

Part of the @babythotshq mini collab!! You can check the other parts here!

Pairing: demon!Tsukishima Kei x gender neutral!reader Genre: angst, crack if you squint for like 2 seconds  Summary: Your superstitious grandmother always told you not to get involved with demons, but how could you not when Tsukishima Kei, the one you’ve summoned, was so alluring? Word count: ~3.4k

Author’s note: Happy Halloween!! I hope you enjoy this piece, and a massive shoutout to @hidden-otaku-stuff  @kaitycole  and of course @babythotshq who helped me out during the process of writing this fic! Love you all mwah mwah 💞

WARNINGS: mentions of blood, minor and major character death, yandere!tsukki, mentions of violence, mention of sex, swearing

Ever since you were a kid, your grandmother warned you about the evil creatures that cohabited the world you lived in. She was often called crazy because of it - after all, she was an old lady talking non-stop about demons. However, that topic amazed you rather than giving you chills down your spine. Your curiosity grew progressively as she told you the same thing over and over: “Don’t mess up with them, or else they’ll take your soul away”.

You always thought grandma told you those stories just to scare you off, to make sure you would stay in line. But the way you’d laugh it off at the age of 7 almost like daring the threat hinted your disbelief. 

"The entire hell can come get me, they won't be able to touch me!" you once told your grandmother, which earned you a scoff and a flick on your forehead. 

"Oh, Y/N" she cooed, almost in pity, patting your head. "You will regret it when you're older," 

And once again, you laughed at her. 

It became part of your childhood, long forgotten as the years passed by and the concept of believing in demons appeared to be silly. Your memory permanently buried it in the depths of your mind after your dear grandmother passed away, leaving this world with her tales from underworld creatures.

A long time since she passed,, you remembered the spooky way the old woman would tell you different myths when you were packing your belongings to leave for college. The old box stuffed inside the attic filled with dusty and thick books lit a lamp in your head, concluding your grandma used to tell you those stories. 

Not only did she have short terrifying ones, your grandma seemed to be way more superstitious than just believing in simple tales. Some of them had different symbols, with many side notes written - assumably - by your late relative. The barely readable handwritten overlapped one another, all information mixing into a big mess that you could hardly understand. 

“Granny was really into it, huh?” 

It wouldn’t hurt reading them - after all, it would be for the sake of your childhood. 

And just like you found yourself drawing strange patterns inside a circle on the floor of your bedroom with chalk, it hardly appeared but you didn’t mind. It’s just some made up stories, you thought, proceeding to let an airy laugh just thinking about your grandmother tossing and turning in her coffin. Your disbelief in these surely came from your young age. After that, all you needed to do was a single drop of your blood and say some weird phrases. 

“If it doesn’t work, it’s because of these freaking sentences,” you muttered, pricking your finger with a needle. As the red liquid fell on the center of the circle you drew, the difficult words slipped out of your lips.

A few minutes passed by after you finished the ritual and the bedroom was engulfed in silence. How you wished you could talk to your grandmother right now, just to rub it in her face that she was wrong - even though you had a mess to clean. Tossing the old book aside, you laughed at the situation you had put yourself in and undid a part of the draw. 

“You know, ever since you were a kid your sassy attitude got me on my nerves,” a second voice echoed, a male one. 

You have never turned your head so quickly in your life, looking for the person who just spoke to you. A tall, blonde guy stood on the other side of the circle; the black dress shirt had the first three buttons undone matching with the black slacks. He was handsome, and you wondered if it was your mind’s work to show you one of the hottest men you’ve ever seen (and imagined) in your life. “It’s rude to stare”

“I must be crazy,” you laughed, rubbing your eyes, when you opened them again, he was still there, with an annoyed look on his features. “Granny must be pranking me, there’s no fucking way I summoned-”

“A demon, actually you just did, haven’t you read the book, dumbass?” he hissed, rolling his eyes. The blonde man crouched to look at the poorly drawn summoning circle and scoffed. “I wonder how you managed to summon me, this shit is terrible, not to mention your Latin”

“Well, I’m sorry if it’s fucking hard to draw it, let alone speaking goddamn Latin!” This guy, this demon was pissing you out, and he had only been in your room for less than five minutes. “Okay, I guess you’re real, my grandma was right, go to hell”

“A lot of people have already told me this joke, and I have to remind every single human that it sucks,” he snapped angrily, before sighing in defeat and looking at you. “What do you want from me?”

“Me, nothing,” you chimed sarcastically. “I was serious when I told you to go to hell, demon.”

“Can you please not call me demon?!”

“So how should I call you? Rex?”

“Jesus, you’re so annoying-”

“I thought demons couldn’t say Jesus’ name, Rex”

“For fucks sake, it’s Tsukishima!” he said louder than he wanted, his voice vibrated inside your body sending chills down your spine. “You’re the worst human that has ever summoned me, and it was just for fun!” 

“Then stop complaining and return to hell, it’s not that hard!” you shot back, just as annoyed as him. A part of yourself, the superstitious one, the same one that had believed for a short while in your grandma, was screaming at yourself for picking up a fight with a demon, but your prideful one wouldn’t let that go easily. 

“I can’t just do it when you fucking used your blood while summoning me!” Tsukishima exclaimed, rolling his eyes. “Don’t you know how to read? It clearly says that blood rituals are strong, they tie your soul to me.”

“You’re telling me you, a demon, can't undo this shit?” you asked, at the sight of the male shaking his head sideways you groan frustrated. "What kind of shitty demons are you?"

"A demon that is way smarter than you, idiot." he mocked angrily.

"What am I going to do with such a pain in the ass?" The question didn't look for a proper answer from him, but either way he grunted in protest. "If I pray to whatever god, will you be repelled?"

"You're really the dumbest human I’ve ever met," Tsukishima stated as he rolled his eyes. "Of course not, what do you think I am? An ordinary demon from a shitty movie?"

"Well-"

"You know what? Don't answer it," he cut you, shaking his hand as if the gesture would shut you off. "Clean this mess, it's giving me chills seeing such a bad job." 

"Use your demon powers to clean it all!"

"I'm not a fucking fairy!"

Tsukishima was just a single demon, but his presence seemed to bring the whole hell to you. His witty and unnecessary comments easily threw you off the edge, and as if he noticed, which he probably did, the man made sure to say at least one provoking statement every single time he opened his mouth.

It wasn’t easy to get used with his presence, especially when Tsukishima made sure to remind you every minute you were awake that “it’s your fault”. 

Yet, the demon did not tell you how to break whatever bond you established with him. You came to the conclusion that his duty whenever he was summoned was to annoy people out. What a useless demon, you thought once, just to hear him screaming profanities and insults inside your head.

You have never imagined that this situation would drag for so long. Tsukishima was there on your first day at college, and he made sure to make you embarrass yourself in front of your class. He was also there to ruin your first date with a cute guy from one of your periods, Inuoka ended the night a bit paranoid about someone following him around.

“I think you told me you weren’t a fairy to do this kind of thing, Tsukki” you commented sarcastically, feeling the anger bubble inside your chest. 

“You heard it right, Y/N,” he answered, throwing himself at your not-so-comfortable sofa, stretching his legs over the coffee table in front of it. “That guy looked like a little boy scared of his own shadow!”

“Why did you do it?!” The question came out more desperate than you wanted it to be. Inuoka wasn’t the first man Tsukishima pulled a stunt on, and by the way your personal demon (as you address him) acts it’s not going to be the last. “He was so nice, he didn’t deserve this childish attitude of yours!”

“Well, he doesn’t have part of your soul like I do,” Tsukishima muttered quietly, but his eyes spoke volumes about his feelings. The possessiveness shone in his golden-brown orbs, a hint of jealous maybe, and you wondered once again if he had feelings like you.

“Tsukishima…” 

All words left your brain as the tall man walked over you, holding your face with his hand. He ran his thumb over your lips and squeezed your cheeks with his grip, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him. “What are you-”

“You’re mine.” He spoke firmly, not giving a chance to say anything back. “I have a part of me in you and part of your soul is mine. You are mine”

Without a warning, Tsukishima leaned down to smash his lips against yours. His movements were harsh, but it didn’t take too long for you to give in into the heated kiss. Your head was empty, and all you could feel was his mouth on yours and a slender hand travelling inside your shirt. The lack of air in your system made you pull away from the contact, locking eyes with him with a clear question mark above your head. 

“What the hell was that, Tsukki?” The anger vanished, leaving behind confusion and a bit of… desire inside of you. 

“I’m just showing you who you belong to.” 

At that moment you couldn’t see all the red flags on that simple statement. The frustration of many failed dates piled up on your nerves to the point that you were not able to see the meaning behind those words. The mere thought of a man desiring you probably the same way as you did blinded you, and that made you snake your hands around Tsukishima’s neck and bring him down to another feverish kiss.

The rest of the night passed by like a blur, Tsukishima’s touch was hot on your skin - and you enjoyed it. The sane part of your brain didn’t have enough room to question your actions: what on Earth were you doing hooking up with a demon? Were you that desperate to be intimate with someone? As quickly as those thoughts invaded your mind, the man towering over you proceeded to take your focus to himself

You don’t know when you fell asleep, but once you woke up, feeling sore as fuck, you noticed Tsukki lying next to you. His eyes were closed, yet you knew for a fact he wasn’t in a deep slumber-  he didn't need sleep. Nevertheless, you took a few moments to appreciate the view, at the same time flashes of your previous activities together came to you just like a fever dream. 

“You don’t have a brain to think too much, dumbass,” he said without even looking at you, a sly smile graced his face nicely and you wondered if he was, at some point in his life, an actual angel. “Do you know who you belong to?”

“I’m not really sure,” you replied shamelessly. Tsukishima’s eyes opened to look straight at yours, arching his eyebrows at your daring tone. “All I remember is a very annoying demon being a bitch about a guy I was interested in”

Messing with Tsukishima became one of your favourite things, because his immediate response was to pin you on the next hard surface and engage in a messy kiss. Being with him was way different than any other relationship you've had, which weren't many since that demon was on your ass ever since you started college. 

Either way, you loved the push and pull between you two. The constant bickering would eventually turn into a heated make out session, and sometimes even more than that. You completely forgot that the man you were in a sort of relationship (if you could call it that way) was a supernatural creature; your mind chose to bury the important information of who Tsukishima really was: a demon.

His actions started to change after over a month or two since you fucked for the first time. Although the snarky and teasing comments were far from coming to an end, you found yourself curled next to him every night. Tsukishima would hold you before you sleep, even if he had to spend a few hours in the same position (which never lasted long, he learned in the hard way that you toss and turn a lot). 

You also changed around him, much to your surprise. You no longer found other men at college attractive; your Friday nights were spent on your couch with Tsukishima next to you, with a random movie on the TV while the two of you kiss. He was your getaway when things got too rough for you, with his hot touches and endless desire. 

Maybe it was the attention Tsukishima gave you, or perhaps that he has been with you for so long, but he managed to win your heart completely. Every time the blonde demon hissed “you’re mine”, how he always satiates your desires and even the awkward moments when he tries to cuddle you. Every little thing this man does pull the strings attached to your heart and mind. 

And you knew Tsukishima noticed your change of demeanor as well, how you got clingier as the months passed by, the soft tone on your voice and the lack of sarcastic responses to his mean comments. You were falling in love with him, and it was the most obvious thing Tsukki has ever witnessed during his whole life dealing with humans.

“I think I love you, Tsukki” you managed to say, your body trembled due to the intense pleasure the man above you just provided. His eyes were unreadable as he looked down at you, but you could dare to say there was a hint of fondness swimming in them. “I never thought it would be possible to fall in love with in all creatures, a demon”

“Yeah?” he caressed your cheek, tracing down to your neckline and pressing on the reddish marks on your skin. “And you were the almighty kid who didn’t believe in demons”

“A pretty annoying demon changed my mind, I have to add” the smile on your face was small, but held so much meaning. However, Tsukishima didn’t mirror your feelings, displaying a rather sadistic one instead. “And you, have you changed your mind about humans?”

“Who knows?” Tsukishima asked rhetorically, letting his body fall next to yours on the bed. "You're the most… interesting human I've met." 

You laughed at his comment, pressing your face against his side in a loving manner. The fact that Tsukishima stood still instead of responding to the display of affection went unnoticed by you; he was being himself, you tried to justify his stiffness. 

Your relationship with him was just like that: you being overly affectionate and Tsukishima… being himself, the hard to approach demon with beautiful looks and with a magnetic aura. You fell easily for him, like getting used to a new daily routine. In a matter of time you found yourself being more vocal about your quick paced heart, the butterflies flying inside your stomach and even the high pitched tone of your voice whenever you couldn't retort one of his comments. 

The man, on the other hand, didn’t follow this demeanor - in fact, Tsukishima started to act the opposite way. He would avoid your touches like the plague, leaving your apartment late at night and returning near the afternoon with purple marks on his neck and collarbones. Something inside you, jealousy, lit up like setting something on fire: wild, uncontrolled and destructive. Once it starts burning, it won’t stop easily. 

“Can’t you stop fucking other people around?!” You screamed at him, not caring if the clock on the wall just hit three in the morning. “Am I not enough for you?”

“Stop making a case out of it, Y/N” Tsukishima rolled his eyes trying to pass through you, only to be blocked by your body. “Jesus, why are you being so jealous?! We have nothing between us”

“I am fucking in love with you, dumbass!” Your high pitched voice was followed by a dead silence. Tsukishima stared at you blankly while you took deep breaths in order to calm yourself, but the adrenaline of your confession didn’t help you stay quiet. “I’ve been head over heels for you for the longest time and you proceeded to hook up with other people every night… Am I that easy for you? I love you with all my heart, a part of my soul is yours- why can’t you do the same?”

All you could hear at first was your erratic breathing pattern, then the room was filled with his laugh. He was laughing as if someone had just told him the funniest joke he ever heard, the way his torso bent forward to accompany sick amusement creeped you out. Tsukishima pretended to wipe a tear and smiled at you. 

“Oh, Y/N… You’re definitely something else, huh?” He said rhetorically, stretching his arm so his hand could cup your face. You stood still, suddenly unsure about his actions and words. Tsukishima has never used such a cold and psychotic tone with you, let alone that sadistic smirk hiding so many feelings. “So you finally accepted that you’re mine, right?”

“H-How can I be yours if you don’t give yourself to me, as well?” Never in your life have you felt so terrified, something in Tsukishima’s demeanor screamed that he wasn’t joking around. He was about to do something bad, and it would be against you. “Isn’t my love enough for you?”

“Well, to be honest? It’s almost enough” he agreed, his index finger traced down your cheeks, following down your neck until it pointed directly to the left side of your chest, above your beating heart. “So, shall I claim what is mine?”

The time seemed to be slowed down, your heartbeats were loud in your ears and your limbs were numb - you couldn’t move them at all. Regardless, it would be impossible for you, a mere human, to stop Tsukishima from slamming his hand against your chest. You didn’t feel physical pain, but the sensation of something, someone wrapping slender fingers around your inner self made you scream. 

“Tsukishima, w-what are you doing?” Your trembling voice made him laugh, the same hand he used to hit you fully on display for you to see him close it. The immediate reaction of you was a shriek, as if the demon was squeezing your insides. “What the fuck, Tsukki?”

 “Why are you so surprised?” Tsukishima asked with fake innocence, wiping the tears you didn’t know you shed. “You just told me you loved me with all your heart, that a part of your soul is mine… So I’m claiming my belongings, after all, this is the kind of demon I am: whenever a stupid little human like you summons me with blood, they sell their souls to me. It’s a matter of time for me to get it”

“I… I trusted you, Tsukki…” Your sobs interrupted your own speech. All the intimate moments you two have spent together were pure acting, meaningless, just to make you give your everything spontaneously to him. 

Your grandmother was right. You regretted every single interaction you had with Tsukishima, the demon you summoned before entering college. 

“Well, it’s your own fault.” With that, Tsukishima harshly pulled his hand backwards, leaving behind only an empty body with no soul. 

TAGLIST

crossed users are the ones i couldn’t tag!

@jovialnoise @paripedia @angmarwitch @shinhiromi @mariachiiii @elianetsantana @moonlightaangel @vicassa @boosyboo9206 @shrimpypenis @sunshine-hina @kozupresh @humanitysbiggestsimp @atsumubabe​ @sachirou-senpai

[honibee-arts]

dramatic villain nie huaisang and hero jiang cheng? maybe nie huaisang flirts with the hero while jiang cheng is kinda horny but has a duty to fulfill?

Just a warning this gets a little steamy but its a kind of pan to the window vibe. I will mark this as NSFWish text to be safe though.

"Jie, I don't think I can get all of these people out of here in time.” Jiang Cheng panted into his headset, holding the crumbling ceiling up with one arm, watching the people run out.

He heard his sister sigh, her manicured nails clicking against her keyboard.

“Lightbearer and Moonbeam should be on the scene in the next two minutes.” she replied.

“Jie, I don’t have two minutes. This building is going to collapse in the next thirty fucking seconds.” 

“A-Cheng, language.”

“I’m holding up a building, I don’t even have super strength. I’m gonna die like this. Can’t you tell them to hurry up?” He grit his teeth. He’s going to have a fucking hernia and broken bones after this shit, and he was going to make that stoic asshole Lightbearer pay for his goddamn medical bills. He probably had more than enough money.

“They’re going as fast as they can, A-Cheng.”

“And your boyfriend couldn’t come and help?”

“A-Xuan’s taking A-Ling today so you could patrol, remember?”

“It’s hard to remember when I’m being crushed.”

Jiang Cheng widened his stance, pushing the crumbling ceiling back up with both hands, growling in pain. Black spots began to gather in his vision, his static flickering across his visor from the strain on his suit. 

“We’ll take it from here, thank you, Violet Spider.” Came Moonbeam’s firm yet gentle tone, taking the weight literally off of Jiang Cheng’s shoulders.

“About fucking time.” He wheezed, taking a deep breath as his arms dropped by his sides, wincing in pain.

“Would appreciate some gratitude.” Lightbearer huffed petulantly as he helped his brother carefully lift the falling ceiling back up, holding it there in an eerie white glow.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes as the remaining people rushed past them, scrambling to get out of there as quickly as possible. Jiang Cheng didn’t blame them in their haste, not one bit. He didn’t like being the one to hold that shit up.

“Are you alright, A-Cheng?” His sister asked in his earpiece, the display on his visor recalibrating.

“Yeah, yeah. Just. Exhausted...” he stood back and caught his breath.

“I’ll make sure to have some lotus rib soup for you when you get home, A-Cheng. I’ll check over your injuries too.”

“A-Jie, you don’t need to do that.”

“Aiya, hush. It’s nothing. I’ll check what the damages are to your suit too.”

“A-Jie...”

“No buts, A-Cheng.”

He sighed and looked down, his hair falling over his visor as he stared at the rubble beneath his feet.

“I’m going to have the longest goddamn nap in history after this.”

“You deserve it, A-Cheng.” A-Jie hummed. “Thank you, A-Xuan.” she said softly, sipping what Jiang Cheng assumed was a cup of tea handed to her by her boyfriend.

In his visor, purple warning symbols flared up in his periphery.

“A-Cheng-”

“On it.” He said as he spotted a flare of green a few blocks away. Gritting his teeth against the ache in his arms, Jiang Cheng jumped up onto the wall of the nearest building, scaling it as quickly as possible and sprinting across the rooftops.

Sometimes, only sometimes, Jiang Cheng hated this fucking job. Sure, he could have a normal 9-5 job and earn a stable income, but no, he just had to be born the son of Yunmeng’s protector and inherit her powers and mantle, along with a load of fucking pressure. He just had to have been trained intensely by his mother, day in and day out from the second his powers manifested at 11. He just had to have had the heroes instinct and the motto of “Attempt the impossible” drummed into him since he was a child.

As much as he wanted to push back against his instinct to protect in favour of his exhaustion sometimes, he couldn’t stop himself. 

The blasts led him to the Jin Corporation office building in Yunping, only a half mile from the crumbling building he was just almost crushed under.

“A-Jie, the source is coming from the Jin Corp. offices in Yunping.”

“Mm. I saw. The building that you were just in was a Jin owned business too.” She replied thoughtfully.

“Does your boyfriend know anything about someone that might have been slated by his father? Cousin maybe?”

“Nothing. I know Jin Guangyao had a complicated relationship with Red Blade. There were rumours about him having something to do with his retirement.”

‘Retirement’ had been a delicate way of putting what happened to Red Blade. When Jiang Cheng had first come onto the hero scene, Red Blade had taken him under his wing. He had been something of an older brother figure, despite being the protector of Qinghe rather than Yunmeng. 

He had been familiar with Jiang Cheng’s abilities, having also been mentored by Jiang Cheng’s predecessor. Everyone knew and respected Red Blade. His super strength and speed was matched by none, in his prime he could leap a building in a single bound and punch a meteor out of the sky without so much as a single scratch. With all that power however, came a price. Red Blade had been prone to feral rages which were difficult to pull him out of, very few people could. Moonbeam seemed to be the only one beside whoever was in his ear all the time who could do it.

About six months ago, Red Blade had disappeared for three days. Moonbeam had found him snarling and bleeding from his eyes, his right arm severed and his eyes white. How Red Blade had survived, Jiang Cheng had no idea. After a few weeks in a medically induced coma, Red Blade had announced his retirement and hung up his mantle for good. Only Moonbeam was said to know what had happened to him following his retirement. There was sometime unspoken between those two that Jiang Cheng couldn’t quite figure out but stank of probably resolved sexual tension.

“Shit!” Jiang Cheng cursed, narrowly avoiding a blast of green energy, rolling onto the nearest roof and ducking for cover.

“A-Cheng.” A-Jie chided.

“Like you didn’t say worse when you were being shot at.” Jiang Cheng argued, sending a bolt of violet lighting back.

“Back in the day, I didn’t run my mouth like a sailor, A-Cheng.” 

“I bet you don’t miss this part of heroing, huh?”

“There are times I am grateful I took a permanent maternity leave, yes.” She replied. “A-Cheng! On your left! Someone’s coming your way, and its not anyone on the Lotus servers. Be on your guard.”

Jiang Cheng nodded and raised his hackles as a a figure cloaked in blinding green energy floated onto the building, their black heels clicking against the concrete roof. As soon as the figure was close enough, Jiang Cheng shot a bolt of lightning in their direction, yet, to his horror, it was deflected easily.

“Come on out little spider, I won’t hurt you.” The figure said.

Jiang Cheng swallowed thickly and stepped out, hackles still raised.

“Aiya, so defensive. Put your arms down so I can see your pretty face. I won’t try anything.” Jiang Cheng slowly lowered his arms but kept his guard up, stance firm. “So stubborn. That’s better though, hello handsome.” 

The figure was slender, androgynous with long, dark hair that shone in their eerie green glow and flowed behind them in the wind, their eyes afire with the energy that seemed pulse from their entire being, almost drawing Jiang Cheng in like a moth to a particularly deadly yet hard to resist flame. Their body was wrapped in a skin-tight leather-like substance with mesh panels, leaving even less to the imagination, half of their face obscured by a mask that started at the neck and wrapped around his mouth and nose.

Jiang Cheng swallowed thickly, ready to burst into action whenever necessary.

“And what should I call you?” Jiang Cheng said steadily.

“Well, I go by he/him pronouns, but I do quite like it when sexy men like you call me beautiful.” He giggled, bouncing on his heels a little. “Binary terms are horseshit anyway, gender is a social construct.”

“Not what I meant but. I don’t like misgendering people. Even if they’re tearing up half the fucking city. So. Thanks.”

“Well, I haven’t really given myself a name yet.” The man hummed, snapping open one of the fans in his hand and fluttering it lightly. “Kinda just wanted to do one thing and hang up the whole thing I guess.”

“And you wanted to what, not get caught?”

“Well, something of the sort.”

“And you assumed you could do this tearing up half the city looking like a green lava lamp dressed like a hooker?”

“A-Cheng! Be nice!”

“Yes, listen to your sister, A-Cheng.”

“How do you know that!” Jiang Cheng snapped, his hands sparking.

“Whoa, whoa, easy hot stuff, I mean you and your family no harm. You have your headset on way too loud and everyone can hear you saying A-Jie so. Go figure.”

“Alright... I’ll be more mindful in the future.”

“He seems genuine, A-Cheng. I’m going to log off for now, but I’ll keep an eye on your vitals and see if you seem like you need help.”

“Alright...” He heard the line go quiet, her lotus icon in the corner of his visor going totally transparent. 

“Is it just us?” The man asked. 

“Yeah. Just us. So. What the fuck is your deal?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“The Jin corporation have fucked plenty of innocent people over, but there are also innocent people in that tower you’re trying to destroy.”

“They’re collateral. I’ve accepted those losses.” The man said, his demeanour turning cold suddenly.

“Are you fucking crazy?”

“You wouldn’t understand my motivations.” The man turned around and stared ahead at the slowly burning building ahead of them.

“Ugh, what is it with villains and cryptic bullshit? I can’t let you wreck the fucking building, okay?”

“Watch me.”

Jiang Cheng lunged and grabbed his arm, earning a blast of green energy to his solar plexus that sent him staggering. Today was not his day. 

“If you want a fight, then fine.” The man said, rolling his shoulders. “I’m just sorry I’ll have to kick that glorious ass of yours.”

Jiang Cheng felt his cheeks flush. 

“Oh please, the spandex doesn’t hide shit.” The man said before lunging at Jiang Cheng.

Yeah, okay. This was a day Jiang Cheng really hated his fucking job. His muscles screamed with exhaustion as the man tackled him to the roof, straddling him and pinning his arms above his head. Maybe he was tired and his resolve was slipping, or maybe he had been rocking a semi for a fair amount of the fight and could admit this man was fucking hot despite his different side of the law.

The tightly coiled strength in his deceivingly slender limbs forced Jiang Cheng down as he straddled his lap. As he brushed his groin, Jiang Cheng let out a slight groan.

“Hold on,” The man said, sitting back. “Are you hard? Does fighting me turn you on?”

“Sh-Shut up! Are we gonna fight or not?!” He struggled under his grip.

Fuck, okay. The man was right. This was humiliating. Why does he enjoy this?

“I dunno, do you want some help with that?” The man purred, his long, thick lashes fanning over his cheeks as he leaned in closer, shifting his hips ever so slightly and earning another groan from Jiang Cheng.

“Are you crazy? I’m meant to be fighting you!”

“I know but, I kinda like this vibe we have going. Do you?”

Jiang Cheng bit his lip and looked away, nodding.

“I need a verbal yes.”

“You care about that?”

“I’m an anarchist not a monster, damn. Answer me.”

“Y-yes.”

“Yes what?”

“I... I like... this.”

“And is it a yes that you consent to this rooftop encounter?”

“C’mon I already said-”

“Yes or no spider. I won’t take that horseshit for an answer.”

“... Yes. I would like you to. Help me out.”

“Good,” he hummed, hooking a black gloved finger in his mask and tugging it down, revealing soft, pink lips pulled into a suggestive smirk. “I’m glad to be of service.” and he leaned down to press his lips to Jiang Cheng’s.

[chidori-mint]

Undercover Mission [Obito Uchiha x Reader]

Pairing: Obito Uchiha x Reader

Warnings: Just angst and FLUFF, swear words

WC: 3.6k

A/N: This is my contribution for the first server collab of Konoha Simps. The theme used was Fireworks. They said that fireworks symbolizes the release of suppressed feelings. A huge thanks to my amazing wifey, @bakubabes-hatake​ for always, always motivating me to write.😘 This song inspired me to write this piece. Find all the wonderful works here! Apology in advance, English isn't my first language but I do hope you enjoy this one! ❤ 

🍭🍡🍭🍡

You can't help but stare at his smile. This man, the one and only man, who can give you this weird feeling, a blissful feeling whenever you're together. This inexplicable joy when he's around. The feeling of love and contentment.

You feel your heart racing as he leans closer to you.

"Obito... I --"

"Y/n?"

That shivering feeling when he uttered your name.

"Y/N?!" You woke up from the loud knock from your door. You knew that voice. Another knock and it made you jump from your bed.

"Y/nnnnnn?! It's me!" Someone hollered outside your door.

With sleepy eyes, you dragged yourself out of the bed to answer the door. The man's eyes grew wide seeing you in your sleep wear -- a white tank top that hugs your perfect curves matched with black tight shorts.

Rubbing your eyes, you asked him "Obito? What are you doing here?"

"Y-you wear that to sleep?!" he stammered as his eyes were still glued at you as you noticed him shaking and sweaty.

"Uhh. Yeah?" you wondered and yawned.

He turned to look away, but his blushing cheeks are still evident.

"Uh, I-I see. Uhm. B-bakashi asked us to meet him in the Hokage's office." stuttering as he kept his eyes away from you.

"Oh, did he say why?" The three of you have been best friends since you can remember. So this is new to you, knowing Kakashi, he hates early morning meetings.

"He just said that it's important. So we gotta head there now, Y/n." He gave a half-smile as he threw his arms to the back of his head.

"You wanna come in while you wait for me?"

He blushed again at your question, "Uhm, you sure it's okay?"

You nodded as you let him in your apartment. "I'm gonna make us coffee, please make yourself comfortable."

  🍭🍡🍭🍡

You entered the Hokage's office and both of you were surprised to see that Kakashi was already waiting at this early hour.

"Sorry for the short notice, but I have a mission for the two of you," he said as he tucked his hands in his pockets.

"Mission? You, idiot! Did they officially make you the sixth Hokage for you to give out missions?!" Obito complained.

"Obito, I am already the sixth Hokage. The Recognition day is just for formality." Kakashi boasted, he really knows how to annoy his best friend. "And anyway this mission is urgent." He declared.

"What kind of mission?" you ask.

Kakashi crossed his arms as he leaned on the desk, "An ancient Scroll of Seals was stolen from the Kazekage. Gaara specifically asked for a skilled shinobi from our village, and he believes that it was an inside job. They already have a suspect actually." He explained.

"You have to go undercover. You can't let anyone recognize you as shinobis." He handed out a brown envelope and Obito took it. "The details about the suspect are all there. Oh, and by the way, you have to go to the Sand Village and act as civilians, more specifically, as husband and wife."

"AS WHAT?!" you both yelled in unison.

"Kakashi, is there a specific reason why we need to go undercover as husband and wife?!" you blurted.

"Y/n's right!" Obito objected, but as you turned to look at him, you noticed him blushing again. "I mean -- we can go as normal civilians, r-right?"

"The Kazekage and three of us are the only ones who are aware of this mission. You can’t speak about this to anyone. He can't seem to trust his subordinates. We still don't know if the suspect works alone or if he has allies within their village. If you go there as a married couple, it'll be less suspicious."

"You idiot --"

"It's okay, Obito. Kakashi's right." You cut him. "I just hope we can make it back before your recognition day."

"Y/n, are you sure you're okay with this?" Obito implored.

"Obito, we've done thousands of deadly missions before." You smiled at him. Yes, you did missions with Obito and Kakashi. This is just a retrieval mission. This is nothing compared to the missions given by the previous Hokages. But this one is different. 

"You can go start packing now if you wanna be back before the recognition day. I want my best friends to be with me on that special day. After all, I'm the Hokage. Right, Obito?" He bragged.

"Whatever you say, you idiot." Obito retorted, "Let's get going, y/n."

"Hey uhm, you go, I still have questions regarding the mission. I'll meet you at the gates?" you asked.

"Oh, okay. I'll meet you there." Obito slowly walked out of the room. You turned to Kakashi as the door shut.

"Kakashi. What was that?" You sounded worried and anxious.

"Hmm? What do you mean?" He walked around the large wooden desk. He turned his swiveling chair and sat lazily on it.

"You know, you can count on me on S rank missions, right? But this? This is just a simple retrieval mission! Why don't you send someone else? Why does it have to be Obito and me? And are you serious with that married couple bullshit?"

Kakashi sighed as you bugged him with your questions.

"You just told Obito you were okay with it, didn't you?"

"I only agreed because I don't want him to think I'm not comfortable doing this with him!" You snapped.

"It's just a cover, y/n. What could possibly go wrong? As you said, this is just a simple mission."

"This is far different from the missions I’ve handled before. You know what could happen if I go on this mission with him! I can't keep pretending, Kakashi. These feelings I have just get stronger every goddamn day." You sighed.

"Then why don't you just tell him the truth?" He asked.

"You think that's easy?" He doesn't understand.

 You give up. You can never win against Kakashi. "Nevermind. See you when I get back."

You headed to the door and left him.

As you walk home, you try to convince yourself that everything will be just fine. As you reach your apartment, you gather all your essentials.

"Two days tops. Finish the job in two days. Then that's it!" you thought.

  🍭🍡🍭🍡

Your journey to the Sand Village was rather quiet. You are not used to this. Obito is usually cheerful, loud, and always giving random compliments about you. But today, he didn't even utter a single word to you. As you reach the Sand Village at past midnight, you both try to look for a place to settle in for the night. You entered an old looking inn and let Obito do the inquiry. Your legs feel numb, your shoulders stiff, you’ve been leaping from tree to tree the whole day. And as you reach the outskirts of the Sand Village, you change from your ninja uniforms to civilian outfits and Obito did the same. He has been awkwardly quiet the whole time.

“We only have one vacant room left, are you going to take it?” asked the young lady from the front desk.

“As long as it has two beds, we’ll take it,” you said, your exhaustion painted in your face.

“I’m sorry, maam but the room has only one bed.” The lady smiled at Obito and it made your eyes narrowed at the young lady.

Unexpectedly, you felt his arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you closer to him, “Doll, it’s okay, there’s no need for two beds.” he whispered in your ear. He's so close you can feel his warm breath on your cheeks. He gave out a chuckle.

You forgot you were still undercover, “Oh yes, so silly of me. Miss, we’ll take the room.”

“Okay, then. Please enjoy your stay!” She handed the room keys.

  🍭🍡🍭🍡

Obito unlocked the door and turned the knob. You followed him as he entered your shared room. You stared at the bed.

“It’s okay, y/n you can take the bed. I can sleep on the floor.” His voice was tight and serious. You study him as he drops his bag on the floor. You felt the cold rush of the wind blowing as he opened the windows. He has been giving you the silent treatment, you so decided to break the ice.

"Obito. Is there something wrong? You've been awfully quiet since we left the village. Are you okay?" You approached him.

"Wrong? No Y/n, nothing's wrong" He denied.

"I'm your best friend. You can't lie to me. I know something's bothering you." You insisted.

"Best friend, huh? Of course. I'm just your best friend. That's why you have the guts to lie to my face. I heard you and Kakashi." He ruled as he turned to face you.

His words shocked you, freezing your body in place. You swallow the building lump in your throat as you pressed your lips together. There's no more point in lying. He knew it. He knew everything.

"Obito, I've been meaning to tell you. Believe me. I have always loved --"

"Just save it, Y/n, please. Let's just get it over with this mission." He walked towards the door.

"I thought you --"

"Well, you thought wrong, princess." He slammed the door shut. Leaving you alone in the dark room.

Tears start to pool in your eyes, your chest feels heavy, it's like the air has been sucked out of the room. Warm tears had started to roll down your cheeks as you slowly sat down at the edge of the bed. You covered your face with your cold hands trying to muffle your cries. You laid yourself in the bed, staring at the ceiling. Blaming yourself for falling hard for your best friend. So this was the price you have to pay. Hopeless love in exchange of friendship. You covered and curled yourself under the sheets. This is just a bad dream. Just. A. Bad. Dream.

  🍭🍡🍭🍡

You stretched your numb arms only to feel that the bed was cold and empty. You slowly opened your heavy and swollen eyes, you searched for Obito, but there was no trace of him.

If it wasn't for the mission, you wouldn't have the reason to get up from the bed.

  🍭🍡🍭🍡

After taking a shower and putting on a nice sundress, you went down to look for Obito. The young lady from last night was back in the front desk.

"Hi! Good morning, uhm have you seen my… husband?" You asked her politely.

"Oh you mean, him?" She giggled.

"Hello, wife." As you face him, he holds your chin and kisses you. As soon as his lips parted from yours, it left you dumbstruck and speechless.

"Shall we?" He winked and held out his hand but you can't help but stare at him. "Y/n?"

"Oh… Yes. We should go." You took his hand as he bid goodbye to the young lady.

"You could at least do your part and act like my wife, y/n." He whispered as both of you exited the inn. "You're good at pretending anyway." He grunted.

You felt another pang of guilt.

"Obito, about last night…"

"Forget it. Not interested, anyway."

You felt embarrassed and hurt. You just want to finish this stupid mission, get back to the village and punch Kakashi right in the face.

  🍭🍡🍭🍡

"I think that's our guy." He signaled. After hours of surveillance, you finally confirmed the suspect.

You both were sitting on a bench, while your guy was eating his ramen not too far away from your position. You both settled on the bench waiting for the man to move. You try to focus on the mission but the flashing images of last night's incident kept replaying on your mind on loop.

"So… How long have you been hiding that from me?" his voice brought you back to your senses as he gazed at you.

"I… pretty much a long time." You confessed. "I wanted to tell you but," You clenched your jaw, trying to hold back the tears from falling "I can't risk our friendship. And, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel about it."

There was another odd silence between the two of you.

"This mission is important; we can't let our personal issues get in the way." He sounded stern.

This sudden change from his behavior made it clear to you that he's really not into you. And it rips your heart apart. You sat right next to each other but he still feels like he’s so far away from you. You’ve been dying to grab him right now, to hold him close, to kiss him, and to make him yours.

You get his point, "Of course," you agreed.

The man stood up from his seat and paid the ramen guy.

"Come on, we have to follow him." You complied quietly as you let Obito lead the mission. He rose up and stretched out his arms, "Let's go, princess."

"Wait, does he really have the scroll?" 

You watched him as he activated his Sharingan. "He has the scroll. But wait a minute," he sounded intrigued. "His chakra. It's… weird. It's… familiar."

He tried to study the man. “I mean look at him, who would wear a coat and a hat on a hot day like this?" he muttered as he expressed his disbelief.

The man started walking casually along the busy street of the Sand Village. You both tailed on him while keeping a safe distance. You slowly grabbed Obito's arms, you noticed he became stiff and surprised as you clung on him. "Relax, Obito. Husband and wife, remember?" you quietly reminded him. The least you could do, is to focus and make sure you accomplish this mission. 

“So, Kakashi mentioned that this mission is exclusive for us, right? And that nobody knows about it. Just us and the Kazekage?” he sounded unsure as he kept his eyes fixed on your target.

“Well, that’s what he said,” you confirmed. “Why?”

“I know that this may sound weird but, I have a feeling that we know this guy.” he stated.

Hearing Obito’s theory made you anxious. You both halted when you saw the man turn and entered an inn. 

“Is he luring us in?” you asked. "Why do I have a feeling that he already knows he's being followed?" 

“There's only one way to find out."

🍭🍡🍭🍡

You both entered the building and started searching for the man. You have combed all the rooms in the first floor, but he was nowhere to be found.You both climbed up the stairs as quietly as possible. You reached the first room on the second floor, just when you're about to open the door, Obito clasped your arm and pulled you closer to him. When you looked up at him, he put an index finger to his lips, "Let me," he whispered. 

He grabbed the door handle and slid it open only to reveal a very familiar man.

“YAMATO?!” you both screamed his name. 

His face was as white as the snow, his eyes grew wide as you guys barged in his door. 

“What are you doing here?” Obito asked.

“Did Kakashi send you?” you interrogated him. You rushed towards Yamato as he nervously stepped back.

“Well, I’m on a separate mission actually.” he chuckled nervously as he scratched his head. 

“Separate mission? What mission? I thought Kakashi said that this mission was exclusive for us.” Obito was puzzled.

“Well, uh yes. But you see, Kakashi sent me here to make uh sure that uhm..” he was avoiding any eye contact and was already stuttering. 

“To make sure that what? Spill it now, Yamato before I slit your throat!” you said furiously as you took out one of your Kunai and pointed it at him.

“Kakashi’s gonna kill me...” he muttered under his breath, beads of sweat were already forming on his forehead and upper lip.

“What does Kakashi have to do with this?” asked Obito, who seemed like he still was not getting the point to all of this. Your eyebrows twitched in annoyance.

“I will kill you now even before he gets his chance! Start talking now, you tree man!” you demanded as you inclined your head and gave him a death glare. You are fuming right now, something in your guts are telling you that this was all Kakashi’s stupid idea! 

“Well, you see, Kakashi asked me to help him finish his last mission before he could officially accept the responsibilities for being the Sixth Hokage,” Yamato said, trying his best to stay as calm as possible.

“His last mission?” you repeated as you exchanged glances with Obito.

“He said that both of you were uh…  giving him endless headaches. That you guys should just…” he paused as he rubs the back of his neck.

“Just what?!” you both exclaimed.

“Just date already!” he declared. You froze. How could Kakashi tell Yamato about your secrets? 

“Tch,” Obito snorted. “How would I date her if she likes Kakashi?” He crossed his arms over his chest as he looked away, his words left you bewildered.

“Wait up, you said you heard us talking in the Hokage’s office?” 

“Well, weren’t you referring to Kakashi?” he questioned.

“You idiot! So that’s why you were avoiding me the whole day when we left the village? Because you assumed that I liked Kakashi? You dumb ass! I was trying to confess to you last night but you won’t let me finish!” you cried. 

Your words struck him, his cheeks were blushing crimson again. “Y-you mean --?” swallowing the forming lump in his throat, “the mission was… fake?” he asked, giving you a perplexed look.

“Oh God. You really are the dumbest of all the Uchihas, aren’t you?!” you sighed in exasperation as you pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Obito,” Yamato butted in, “Y/n just admitted her feelings for you and you’re asking if the mission was fake?” he facepalmed. “Y/n, please enlighten me -- what did he do to make you swoon over him?” he teased.

“Me? Swoon over him?!” a flush crept up your face. 

“For heaven’s sake. You both are dumb, you know? I can’t believe this is what Kakashi has to deal with everyday. You guys are so exhausting. Work this out, you two.” he retorted in annoyance. He collected his things and headed to the door.

Yamato shut the door behind him and Obito did not make any effort to come closer to you and you were frozen from where you’re standing. No one talked. You could cut through the tension with a knife.

“I’m sorry about last night, Y/n. For driving you away…” Obito finally said. “I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

“Okay… How else would you have?” you smiled dryly.

“Princess please, I need you to just listen to me, okay?” he bit down on his lip.

He grabbed both of your hands and brought them to his chest. You could feel his heart pounding below the skin, a very similar tempo to yours. “I like you, wait, no. I love you. The only thing that kept holding me back was that I really thought you liked Kakashi. I confronted him. But he said that you liked someone else, not him. That Bakashi, he should have told me the truth! Y/n, I can’t keep pretending anymore. I can’t pretend that I don’t want to hold you or that I’m not falling in love with you. I can’t and I won’t, not anymore.”

“What?!” Your jaw was on the floor. “You like… me? But last night --”

“Last night was a mistake.” He held both of your wrists in one hand and cupped your cheek with the other. Everything that he had said last night was starting to make sense a lot more sense now. It was heartbreaking, but now it made sense. 

“You were so infuriating, I was trying to tell you that I love you last night,” you said as you leaned into his palm.

“I am not infuriating!’ he denied.

“Okay but you’re dumb!” you jested.

“Okay, I’ll take that. But I know you love me.” his thumb traced your bottom lip, and he moved even closer to you.

Your heart skipped.

“So what are we doing then?” you asked, distracted by his touch on you. “Are we… together? Like, together together?”

“Well if you’ll have me, yes,” he said as his eyes flickered. “I want you, Y/n. Just as you are.” 

“I want you too,” your smile grew along with his.

“I meant what I said, princess. I love you.” his forehead pressed to yours, as you close your eyes in relief.

“I love you too, dumb ass.” you pressed your lips onto his and he took you gladly.

His arms slid around your waist, while the other went back to the back of your neck, to hold you in place as he kissed you like it was his last.

“I’m really sorry about last night, for being an asshole,” he told you through the kiss. It was mostly tongue and teeth, desperate and messy. “ Let me make it up to you, Y/n.”

He was intoxicating and all you could do was nod, your eyelashes fluttering as his lips travelled down your neck, sucking on your skin.

“MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!” Yamato appeared in the window making Obito’s posture straightened. He kept his hands on you, pulling you close to his chest like you were in danger.

“Maybe that’s why Bakashi and this tree boy get along so much,” he murmured.

“Huh, why?” you asked.

“They’re both cockblockers.” he whispered.

“Hey! I heard that!” Yamato narrowed his eyes. “So are we getting back to the village?”

“Uh, we’ll stay a little longer.” Obito replied, as he smirked at you. “I have to make it up to her. We might miss Bakashi’s recognition day though. I plan to ravish my princess and we have to make up for all the times we should have been together.”

[extreme-technicality]

On Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, knight (in absentia) of the Realm of Goodcastle

Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, knight (in absentia) of the realm of Goodcastle, is peak chaotic good. In this essay I will discuss how his backstory, his choices, the origin of his powers, and the symbolism of a candle combine to create Fitzroy, the hero we didn’t know we needed but very much the one we deserve.

We know from Argo’s investigation into Fitz’s home life that he is the son of a long haul trucker caravaner and a (presumably) stay-at-home mom. His family name is one of the most prestigious elven families on Nua, though he’s functionally a member in name only. One day he got a letter inviting him to become a knight of the realm of Goodcastle for the low low price of 200 gold, several other fees, and a certificate of completion from Clyde Nite’s Night Knight school. His parents didn’t have much, and had to take out a hefty loan to send him to the school (as well as pay for all the fees). He didn’t fit in with the pompous, wealthy elites there, and they let him know it with every obvious snicker and the fact that his classmates actively avoided him outside of class. Griffin explicitly states that he (Fitz) adopted the pompous, proper air he puts on in canon as a direct result of the ridicule and ostracization of his knight school classmates. He finally received something other than mocking disdain from them when he randomly (one might say chaotically) turned his professor into a catfish. He only started to truly feel like shit about the catfishing when he heard they were going to expel him from the school and, by extension, his dream–the notoriety and fear from his peers and professor bothered him far less before there were tangible consequences for his actions, inadvertent though they were. Shortly after this, he was invited to Hieronymous Wiggenstaff’s School for Heroism and Villainy, full-ride–upon graduation, he would be allowed to return to Clyde Nite’s Night Knight School and finish his schooling there, then apparently on to the realm of Goodcastle to serve in the queen’s guard. In summary: Fitzroy Maplecourt is someone of humble background who aspires to Make Something Of Himself and help people along the way; as the catfishing incident displayed, he doesn’t much care how he does that, so long as his actions help people (as well as himself).

He didn’t always lean into that side of himself, however: the catfishing incident ended with Fitz also feeling conflicted about how his power manifested to harm the people around him. At the very beginning of Graduation, he’s constantly worried about controlling his magic and not necessarily using it. A knight, after all, would have little need for magic. This viewpoint changes gradually throughout the episodes as he bonds with Snippers and learns more about the nature of magic, specifically his own. It changes most drastically when he meets the origin of his magic, the entity who goes by Chaos. Immediately after he had that psychic conversation with his magical patron, it’s like he stopped giving a fuck about what is “right” or “proper”. He used his magic with precision and intimidated the centaurs–as well as his Hero classmates–into listening to him and doing whatever he said. It wasn’t the stated object of his assignment with the centaurs, wasn’t what anyone expected him to do, and made Chaos very, very happy. He maintained his chaotic mindset, threw himself into it in fact, once he returned to the school. He attacked Gray when convention would dictate he stood there and let him monologue; he mouthed off to the Unbroken Chain tribunal, and his first action as a full member was to call one of their highest-ranking members to trial on Argo’s behalf; he suggested assassinating Gray instead of fighting a war. None of those actions were dictated to Fitz–in fact, none of those choices were knightly in the slightest. He ripped a man’s hand off and intimidated him and the surrounding centaurs (who outnumbered him and his friends many times over, might I add) into seeing his point of view. If a knight did that, he would be called a bully and said to be abusing his powers. But his motivations were selfishly good–he intimidated the centaur leaders into sitting down and having a conversation to avoid war, while he got to keep the apple Higglemus asked for; he saw an opening to attack the BBEG while he wasn’t expecting it, thereby giving him the edge and a chance to, possibly, end the war before it even began; he defended and stood by his friends in the face of people who cared (in his view) more for their precious order than for the aforementioned BBEG and the brewing war; he saw an opportunity to fulfill Argo’s need for justice and took it, unexpectedly but with due process to the order’s laws; he suggested the underhanded approach to ending the war and fighting Gray because he doesn’t want innocent people to die in a war that isn’t theirs. All of these choices were chaotic, and not all of them made Chaos happy. But they were Fitzroy’s choices, made wholeheartedly and with gusto, and he made them because he wanted to. He doesn’t care what Chaos wants him to do, has specifically said he won’t let Chaos use him to be their instrument on Nua multiple times–and that choice is perhaps the most chaotic of them all. Most everything he did and does, he does because it serves either his purpose or his friends’ purposes–but he doesn’t harm innocent people in the process. Fitzroy is chaotically, selfishly good, despite Chaos.

Chaos specifically is interesting, both as an entity in their own right and as Fitz’s magic glucose guardian. They introduced themself by saying they have many names, but Chaos is the one they like the best. This specific wording makes me personally believe that the entity we know as Chaos isn’t actually chaos, but something often mistaken for chaos. My gut wants to say “discord” or “wanton self-interest”, but I’m interested to see what Travis has planned in that regard. Chaos is also the origin of both Fitzroy and Gray’s power, and the Godscar Chasm is their work and seems to be their base of operation. As much as they claim to want Fitz to let loose with his power and do whatever he wants, Chaos also tells him what they don’t want him to do. They “promised Gray a war”, and for a being called “Chaos” they don’t seem to appreciate Fitzroy’s chaotic actions very much. They’ve said before that they want Fitz to win the war, but that it has to be a spectacle–like a wildfire burning down the countryside, before new growth and chaotic peace can grow. Fitzroy, on the other hand, sees how unnecessarily destructive that would be, and prefers to sidestep that option in favor of something quietly chaotic and peacefully assertive.

If Chaos and Gray’s vision for the war is a wildfire, burning bright and brilliant and fast, then Fitzroy’s is a candle, fitting the symbolism of the most recent episode (25: Burden of Things). Fitz chose the candle key to represent himself because fire is chaotic by nature, leaving both destruction and room for growth in its wake. He also claimed candles are chaos contained and put to a good use, bringing light to the darkness and faint warmth. My own interpretation reads a candle as both instigator and instigated: a candle cannot light itself, nor can it control how it was ignited. Fitz had no choice in either the fact or the manner of his magic awakening, couldn’t control whether or not his metaphorical wick was lit or who got burned in the process. However, a lit candle can be used to light other things–paper, wood, plants, cloth, and so on. Fitzroy as the candle in this metaphor has two available options: he could light a hearth, a welcoming space for his loved ones and a respite from the cold, cruel world, or he could light an all-consuming blaze to destroy the flawed existing system and leave room for a new one–one of Chaos’s design–to grow in its wake.

So, to recap: Fitz is tangentially part of a very prestigious elven family, grew up with relatively little save for a loving family, worked and chanced his way into power, and is currently being groomed into using said power in a certain way. He is also adapting to the situation he’s found himself in, making his own decisions and doing so in the name of his benefactor (ie. chaos) as opposed to the spirit (ie. what Chaos actually wants him to do) such that the outcome benefits himself, his friends, and their goals while minimizing the damage to innocent bystanders. Along the way, his personal image has gone from grandiose knight (in absentia), pompous and proper and EliteTM, to a candle–simple, cheap, ordinary, utilitarian, and more importantly, a light source for people who literally cannot afford anything better. I look at this, and I have to wonder: what was his takeaway from Clyde Nite’s Night Knight School? What did he think of the 1%, of the order and class and propriety they hold so dear? As the son of a caravaner, I wouldn’t think he’d see much fancy shit at home, but he’d definitely see hardship. He’d definitely see needing to compromise, and needing to fight for anything you need, facing a world that isn’t serving you like it should. I would ask if he’s angry, but he literally said it this episode–he’s lost his goddamn patience. Everyone is so caught up in the order of things, in the letters and laws and rules-lawyering and arbitrary measures of “worthiness” that they’ve forgotten to turn the lights on and it’s getting dark. Thats not to say that Fitz doesn’t know when to abide by the laws, or use them to his advantage, as we saw in both the incident with the magma monster and the Unbroken Chain tribunal–but they need light, they need a fire under their asses, and Fitz is just a candle doing his best. But a candle can only do so much.

And it doesn’t take much to put a candle out.

[taylorinthetardis]

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

So another update regarding ok Cupid guy.

I texted him again tonight. I told myself I was gonna wait, but I have no self control, so I didn’t. I just sent him a hey, nothing extra, no emojis or anything.

I get a reply that says “hello? Who is this?”

I freak out a little, thinking that maybe I was right and he met someone else and his new person was about to go off. So I say “it’s Taylor”. Then I get “oh okay, Tom just has you in here as the heart symbol, so I wasn’t sure.” I am now even more confused. Then I get “when was the last time you talked?” So I tell my mystery correspondent that I haven’t heard from Tom since last Friday and I was really worried about him. My mystery correspondent then reveals herself: it’s his mom. He was in a fucking car accident last Saturday and has been in the fucking hospital this whole time! However, I am still perplexed as to why, if she’s had his phone this whole time, did she not say something sooner? I’ve texted him almost every day since last Friday. However I do not ask. I ask if he’s gonna be okay, she says he’s got some swelling around his brain, but it’s going down and the doctor thinks he’s gonna be okay. She apologized for us having to meet this way and then proceeds to tell me that Tom told her about me and how excited he was and that he was going to see me on Valentine’s Day. Now, I am even more confused. We had no plans for Valentine’s Day. None that we discussed anyway. So if he was going to surprise me it wouldn’t have been much of a surprise, he would have had to either find out where I live or where I work because he does not possess either of those pieces of information. Then I just get a single text that says “oh my”.

Now, the day before we had last spoken, Tom and I had exchanged some texts. Some NSFW type texts. As is our wont, we’re both adults and it was consensual.

So she then excuses herself from the conversation. It’s nearly midnight after all, she says good night, I say good night and ask that she keep me updated on Tom’s condition.

About five minutes later, she asks me how serious it is between me and her son. I say it’s getting pretty serious, he asked me to be his girlfriend after all. She then informs me that she had scrolled up through the texts to see if I had sent him a picture so she could find out what I looked like and she saw the fucking texts!

So of course I apologized. I am so fucking embarrassed and I let her know that. She then proceeds to start berating both me and her son for doing such a thing because, and this is a direct quote, “We didn’t do that sort of thing when I was your age”. First of all, your son is 30 and I’m 27 so we aren’t fucking children. Second of all, texting wasn’t a thing when you were our age! If you wanted to send someone a nude you had to take a goddamn Polaroid and put it in the fucking mail! Then she asks me how old I am and I tell her and she’s like I know he’s an adult but have some self respect. Not that we’re adults. That he’s an adult. And the self respect line was its own sentence, so I’m certain it was directed at me and not her son, despite the fact that he was a very willing and enthusiastic participant😏

Then she says that we shouldn’t be sharing all of that if we haven’t even met yet and then she proceeds to infer that if I do that for her son, I must do it for other men as well and basically accuses me of having an onlyfans! Which like, is not at all a bad thing in my opinion, I respect the hustle, but like they way she framed it, as if I’m some slut corrupting her son, her ADULT son, like Jesus Christ lady.

Clearly this was meant to be a private interaction between your son and myself and no one else was ever supposed to see any of it. His profile said he was Christian but I was really hoping he didn’t come from a family of that kind of Christian. The “the Bible says only God can judge but he’s not here so I’ll be taking up the gavel” kind of Christian.

I, of course, apologized again, politely refuted her insinuation, and again apologized and asked that she not let what she’s seen color her opinion of me in the future. She has not responded.

I’m.

What the actual fuck just happened? I can’t even process the fact that Tom might still fucking die and I will never have gotten to see him because his mom just whole ass called me a whore after snooping through her adult son’s phone.

What the actual fuck????